The Michael Knowles Show - February 26, 2022


Ben Shapiro Vs Michael Knowles ｜ FACE-OFF： Famous Dead Guys


Episode Stats

Length

41 minutes

Words per Minute

168.9255

Word Count

7,038

Sentence Count

999

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

19


Summary

Ben Shapiro and Michael Knowles take on a very important question: Which famous dead man has the most knowledge of quotes from famous dead guys? Socrates, Voltaire, Socrates, or Socrates? Who do you think won the game?


Transcript

00:00:00.060 Welcome to Face Off. I am your host, Cabot Phillips.
00:00:03.680 Today is the time for us to answer a very important question,
00:00:06.560 and that is which Daily Wire host has the most knowledge of quotes from famous dead guys?
00:00:12.320 And here to help us answer those two very important questions are
00:00:15.840 the man himself, Mr. Michael Knowles, best-selling author, host of The Michael Knowles Show.
00:00:19.880 Michael, welcome.
00:00:21.420 Thank you for having me on my own show, Cabot.
00:00:23.640 You remind me each time we do this that this is, in fact, your show.
00:00:26.520 I'm not the host.
00:00:27.540 But just let me believe just for a little bit.
00:00:29.860 And your competitor today in the Face Off competition is Mr. Ben Shapiro,
00:00:33.680 who's, I might add, his best-selling books do actually have words in them.
00:00:37.020 Ben, thanks for joining us.
00:00:38.620 You bet. This is only a lose-lose for me.
00:00:40.640 I also will point out that it might be a lose-lose for you.
00:00:43.720 Michael has yet to lose any of these competitions.
00:00:46.460 He bested Matt Walsh in showing who was the best Daily Wire Catholic.
00:00:50.720 The better Catholic is, of course, Matt Walsh, but Knowles got more answers right.
00:00:56.640 All right.
00:00:57.280 Any best to Dave Rubin and who is the greatest culture warrior?
00:01:00.780 You know, Michael is a man who's very comfortable with his sexuality.
00:01:05.920 Michael is coming in on a hot streak.
00:01:07.340 This is a great point, Cabot, because you would say right now, my loss board is clean.
00:01:13.080 Naturally, it's clean.
00:01:14.780 And when you want to clean all of your services, I would recommend that you check out Naturally, it's clean.
00:01:20.760 More from them later.
00:01:22.100 First, though, I have got to try to keep up my perfect win streak.
00:01:26.760 I am now up.
00:01:28.160 I'm up against the big boss.
00:01:29.540 This is not, you know, I love Dave and I love Matt.
00:01:31.960 This is going to be maybe a little more formidable.
00:01:36.380 Formidable, indeed.
00:01:38.320 So let's just get right to it so you don't get any more nervous than I'm sure you already are.
00:01:42.460 This is Face Off, Famous Dead Guys.
00:01:44.740 The rules of the game are simple.
00:01:51.200 I will read a quote from a famous dead man.
00:01:53.500 You two will have 30 seconds.
00:01:55.180 I'm sure it won't take 30.
00:01:56.100 You'll have your answers in quicker.
00:01:57.540 To answer who said that quote, which famous dead man was it, then we will get right to it.
00:02:03.920 The first quote for you gentlemen today.
00:02:07.380 I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
00:02:14.740 I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
00:02:21.520 Oh, actually, hold on.
00:02:22.800 There's more of a story with this one, I think.
00:02:25.200 There are two correct answers that we will take for this one, because there is a little bit of dispute on who exactly this belongs to.
00:02:32.560 All right, Michael, you're finished.
00:02:33.580 Ben, we'll start with you, because you got yours in first.
00:02:40.340 Supposedly Voltaire.
00:02:42.600 Michael, who are you going with?
00:02:43.620 So I put the little second caveat one down there, but I did put Voltaire up first.
00:02:49.840 It's a little tricky when you name Voltaire these days, because a GOP congressman just got in trouble for confusing a quote from a neo-Nazi pedophile with a quote from Voltaire.
00:03:00.740 But I'll stick with the first one, supposedly Voltaire.
00:03:03.940 You were both correct.
00:03:05.460 We would have accepted Voltaire or Evelyn Beatrice Hall.
00:03:08.200 There was some dispute still on that, probably getting misquoted by a lot of people.
00:03:14.140 Not by you, gentlemen.
00:03:15.980 Well done.
00:03:16.640 One point to each.
00:03:18.440 Next up.
00:03:20.080 By all means, marry.
00:03:21.480 If you get a good wife, you'll become happy.
00:03:24.000 If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
00:03:26.220 Ben's got his in, Michael.
00:03:33.040 Okay.
00:03:33.680 All right, Michael.
00:03:34.920 You're going to go first on this one.
00:03:36.020 Who you got?
00:03:36.720 I guessed Aristotle.
00:03:38.820 Not because I've heard Aristotle say that or read it, but because all those old Greeks were gay guys.
00:03:45.280 And so I figured if they had an unhappy marriage, that would be more likely for them.
00:03:50.260 Ben, what about you?
00:03:51.780 Yeah.
00:03:53.300 I went with Samuel Johnson.
00:03:55.540 Mainly because it kind of sounds like Samuel Johnson.
00:03:59.560 Michael was closer on this one.
00:04:00.880 This one was actually Socrates.
00:04:02.660 Really?
00:04:03.580 That is what the producers are telling me.
00:04:05.440 Wow, that's shocking.
00:04:05.580 So if not, take it up with your producers, Michael, if you think that was incorrect.
00:04:08.120 I almost wrote Socrates, but I thought Aristotle was the funnier gay guy.
00:04:12.900 Okay, do I get points for that?
00:04:14.640 That was pretty close.
00:04:16.580 Even though it is your show, we're not going to get points for this.
00:04:18.120 Sadly, no.
00:04:18.560 What?
00:04:19.200 Darn, I should have put Socrates.
00:04:20.520 That would have been funnier.
00:04:21.720 Okay.
00:04:22.340 Next up.
00:04:24.720 With great power comes great responsibility.
00:04:33.760 Ben's taking a little more time than you, so maybe easy for you, Michael.
00:04:38.500 Ben, we'll start with you.
00:04:39.600 Walk us through the thought process.
00:04:40.700 I saw some deep thinking going on.
00:04:42.660 Well, I mean, it depends where you are in the multiverse as to who says this, right?
00:04:47.580 Because Uncle Ben says this to Peter Parker, or alternatively, Marissa Tomei says it to Peter Parker.
00:04:55.420 All right, very thorough.
00:04:56.700 Michael, what you got?
00:04:57.540 I, uh, I'm not as much of a nerd on these.
00:05:02.800 I just said Spider-Man.
00:05:04.700 I don't, does that count?
00:05:06.780 No, that's incorrect.
00:05:07.880 I do not think we're going to give you points on that for Spider-Man.
00:05:10.420 Because, also, I would just like to point out, at this point, you're not a nerd for enjoying the, you know, most popular movie in the world, Michael.
00:05:17.020 You don't have to play that game.
00:05:18.240 I'm just a nerd.
00:05:19.280 Oh, no.
00:05:21.040 Ben, you get points for that.
00:05:22.260 We also would have accepted Uncle Ben, Winston Churchill, Stan Lee, or the Apostle Luke, who said,
00:05:28.780 to whom much is given, much is expected.
00:05:30.640 Any of those, we would have technically taken.
00:05:33.440 Spider-Man does not count, unfortunately.
00:05:36.160 Okay.
00:05:36.520 All right, fair enough.
00:05:38.060 Next up.
00:05:39.380 I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.
00:05:46.600 All right, Michael, we'll start with you.
00:05:51.920 Who you got?
00:05:53.880 I'm shooting in the dark here, as was this man.
00:05:57.200 Galileo?
00:05:58.780 All right, Ben.
00:06:01.760 I also said Galileo, but I'm with Michael.
00:06:05.240 It could be, like, three other guys.
00:06:06.720 I want to say very close.
00:06:09.320 Generally close.
00:06:10.240 It was Sir Isaac Newton.
00:06:11.580 Newton.
00:06:12.240 Yeah, okay.
00:06:13.420 He was the other guy, I was thinking.
00:06:14.860 Yeah, me too.
00:06:16.240 All right, so no points awarded there.
00:06:18.140 All right.
00:06:18.480 Next up.
00:06:19.540 Let my teaching fall like rain, and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant
00:06:26.280 rain on tender plants.
00:06:28.780 Let my teaching fall like rain, and my words descend like dew.
00:06:39.040 Ben is just rearing to hold up the whiteboard, so we're going to go to him.
00:06:41.620 He looks very confident.
00:06:42.360 I'm going to go with my boy Moses.
00:06:48.280 All right, Michael.
00:06:49.120 From Deuteronomy.
00:06:50.460 Oh, darn.
00:06:51.500 I wanted it to be more mystical, so I suggested Confucius.
00:06:57.860 Mr. Shapiro gets the points on this one.
00:07:02.240 Devastating.
00:07:02.640 That's my book, Michael, Michael.
00:07:04.080 Yeah, you're in my backyard with that one.
00:07:06.040 That's brutal.
00:07:06.320 You know, I'm doing Bible in a year.
00:07:07.560 I can almost cite that one in the original Hebrew.
00:07:09.280 I can almost cite that one in the original Hebrew.
00:07:11.000 I always start Bible in a year, so I've read Genesis about a thousand times, but I'm not
00:07:18.140 yet up again to Deuteronomy.
00:07:19.920 I'm still on Exodus.
00:07:22.960 Certainly never Rick Confucius.
00:07:24.960 Many a Bible reading plan has died on the shores of Deuteronomy.
00:07:28.720 Next up.
00:07:29.580 No, no, it all falls apart in Leviticus.
00:07:31.380 Deuteronomy's great.
00:07:33.460 I actually may have gotten that wrong.
00:07:34.820 Next up.
00:07:35.900 This one, again, this is a quote from someone else.
00:07:38.860 I am a deeply closeted gay guy.
00:07:46.940 You can't say Socrates again.
00:07:49.920 I'll read it one more time for the sake of reminding I am a deeply closeted gay guy.
00:08:00.640 Can't make the Socrates joke.
00:08:02.040 You already did that.
00:08:03.780 Man.
00:08:05.180 I'm having a real tough time with this one.
00:08:07.180 I'll be honest with you.
00:08:08.700 Ah.
00:08:09.560 Hmm.
00:08:10.440 Slightly more recent.
00:08:11.320 There's so many jokes and I can't pick between them.
00:08:13.120 I can't pick between them.
00:08:14.880 What do we do?
00:08:16.520 I don't know.
00:08:17.880 Okay, we'll do this.
00:08:18.540 Would it help if I read the quote one more time?
00:08:21.460 No.
00:08:22.000 One more time, Gavin.
00:08:23.480 All right, fine.
00:08:24.540 All right, Michael, who'd you go with?
00:08:26.820 Ben might know how to quote Moses, but I know how to quote Norm MacDonald.
00:08:34.360 Ben?
00:08:36.540 Oh, I had Rock Hudson, so.
00:08:37.960 Norm MacDonald was, in fact, he self-described deeply closeted gay man.
00:08:45.380 I'm a deeply closeted gay man.
00:08:47.760 You're a gay man?
00:08:48.740 I'm not gay.
00:08:51.120 I said I'm deeply closeted.
00:08:53.020 Point to Mr. Knowles.
00:08:54.740 So you're saying he was a gay guy?
00:08:56.640 Well, I said he ascribed himself.
00:08:58.180 No, he's a deeply closeted.
00:08:59.860 Deeply closeted, yes.
00:09:01.520 I'm hoping our producers are keeping score in my ear,
00:09:04.120 because I'm just kind of throwing out points left and right.
00:09:06.780 Next up.
00:09:07.800 I'm up three, too.
00:09:08.840 I'm up three, too.
00:09:09.460 Yeah, I think Ben's up by one.
00:09:10.300 Keep going.
00:09:10.720 Of course, Ben was counting.
00:09:12.960 Next up.
00:09:14.020 History repeats itself first as tragedy, second as farce.
00:09:17.820 Ben, who you got?
00:09:31.100 I had Nietzsche, but I think it's wrong.
00:09:33.940 Michael?
00:09:34.580 I believe it is Marx and Engels.
00:09:37.020 And the reason I say Marx and Engels is I think Engels actually said it first.
00:09:41.080 We've got Karl Marx, so we are going to give you the point on that.
00:09:44.340 Unless Ben can make a compelling argument otherwise.
00:09:47.260 No, I cannot.
00:09:47.980 I cannot make a compelling argument.
00:09:49.520 That's okay.
00:09:50.320 I mean, that's the first time I've ever heard Ben say that.
00:09:52.360 That's saddened to me that I didn't get that.
00:09:53.660 That is a blown opportunity.
00:09:55.500 Okay.
00:09:55.980 I mean, in fairness, it just means that you haven't been keeping up on your marks,
00:09:59.880 which probably is for the betterment of your soul.
00:10:04.880 He has been keeping up on his Old Testament, though,
00:10:07.340 which is true for the betterment of his soul as well.
00:10:09.360 Next up.
00:10:09.760 More important.
00:10:10.500 Yeah, exactly.
00:10:11.080 Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people.
00:10:14.920 It is wholly inadequate.
00:10:16.680 To the government of any other.
00:10:24.280 Who we got?
00:10:25.960 I'm going to say that it is the man who conservatives quote 50,000 times a day
00:10:32.160 with that exact line, John Adams.
00:10:34.900 Point to both of you.
00:10:36.080 Well done.
00:10:37.140 There was never any question there for either of you.
00:10:38.920 There was no suspense.
00:10:39.600 I don't want to build suspense where there is none.
00:10:41.400 No, that was an easy one.
00:10:42.740 We'll move on to the next.
00:10:44.480 Politics is the ability to foretell...
00:10:46.300 Quote some Locke and Knowles is in trouble.
00:10:51.400 Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow,
00:10:54.920 next week, next month, and next year.
00:10:57.400 And to have the ability afterwards to explain why it didn't happen.
00:11:00.800 A little more suspense here.
00:11:06.280 Ben, what do you got?
00:11:07.660 Yeah.
00:11:09.100 I had Churchill, but this is another one where I'm just not sure.
00:11:12.300 I went with a different marks.
00:11:14.480 I went with Groucho marks on this one.
00:11:16.720 That is incorrect, but Ben does get a point.
00:11:21.080 It was Churchill.
00:11:22.380 That's awful.
00:11:24.960 I'm back in the red.
00:11:28.540 If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile.
00:11:34.440 Again, if my mother is watching this, it's not a cry for help.
00:11:36.820 That is a quote from a famous dead guy.
00:11:42.460 Michael, we'll start with you.
00:11:43.620 I'm going with the Marquis de Sade.
00:11:50.280 There's one person who's going to laugh at that joke,
00:11:52.720 and that would happen to be Ben Shapiro.
00:11:54.540 Everyone answer?
00:11:55.100 It's okay.
00:11:55.940 Yeah.
00:11:57.640 Ben, who do you got?
00:11:58.820 That's true.
00:11:59.880 Well, actually, Clayton would laugh at that joke.
00:12:02.740 Okay.
00:12:04.520 And I have Proust,
00:12:06.360 mainly because I have not no role I ever read.
00:12:10.720 This was a little bit of a trick question.
00:12:12.400 It was actually Kurt Cobain.
00:12:14.180 Oh, Kurt Cobain.
00:12:15.760 Got it.
00:12:15.960 I was much closer than you.
00:12:18.120 Actually, was I that much?
00:12:19.280 Maybe.
00:12:19.680 Oh, yeah.
00:12:19.820 It's up for debate.
00:12:21.660 On second thought.
00:12:22.860 Yeah.
00:12:23.980 Next up.
00:12:25.320 To write well, express yourself like the common people,
00:12:28.540 but think like a wise man.
00:12:30.380 Michael, you're so confident.
00:12:38.440 Let's let you go first.
00:12:39.360 Obviously.
00:12:39.860 Who does this describe?
00:12:41.580 Donald Trump.
00:12:43.140 There's no question.
00:12:44.560 Next one.
00:12:45.360 Next question.
00:12:47.380 Ben, what do you make of that,
00:12:48.360 and what did you answer?
00:12:49.300 I went with his ancient equivalent, Plato.
00:12:54.640 Ben was much closer.
00:12:55.980 It was actually Aristotle.
00:12:57.600 We keep dancing around the old Greeks.
00:13:00.080 I know.
00:13:00.600 We keep dancing.
00:13:01.180 Yeah.
00:13:01.980 Wrong Greeks, man.
00:13:02.740 I think Donald Trump would be very flattered by that, Michael.
00:13:06.480 Or maybe he wouldn't be flattered.
00:13:10.340 Who knows?
00:13:11.260 We'll find out on Twitter.
00:13:12.880 One of our producers came up with a friendly reminder just now
00:13:15.840 that Trump is not dead.
00:13:16.820 So this, you know, you're forgetting the premise of the game, Michael.
00:13:20.760 That's true.
00:13:21.340 Ineligible.
00:13:22.600 That's a good point.
00:13:23.840 That's a good point.
00:13:24.580 Next up.
00:13:25.120 But Joe Biden is eligible.
00:13:26.040 So that's a good point.
00:13:30.700 Next up.
00:13:32.160 I cannot help it.
00:13:33.120 I want to be a good Catholic, but I'm a hedonist.
00:13:37.140 Hmm.
00:13:39.480 I will be very impressed.
00:13:40.800 No fair writing Martin Luther, Michael.
00:13:42.520 I know.
00:13:44.780 I cannot help it.
00:13:46.860 I want to be a good Catholic, but I am a hedonist.
00:13:52.140 This is another shot in the dark.
00:13:53.480 Ben, who are we putting down here?
00:13:58.020 Well, it's wrong, but it's true.
00:14:04.040 Several popes in the Middle Ages.
00:14:08.220 Several.
00:14:08.800 Hey, that's certainly an understatement.
00:14:11.340 That's certainly undercounting.
00:14:13.720 Michael?
00:14:15.080 I put down, and this is just because he was a hedonist
00:14:19.380 and he gets quoted a lot.
00:14:21.500 Oscar Wilde?
00:14:24.100 I do appreciate both of your answers.
00:14:26.460 We're putting the man who lived down by the river,
00:14:29.260 Mr. Chris Farley.
00:14:31.120 Mmm.
00:14:31.960 Mmm.
00:14:33.300 Wow.
00:14:33.860 Yeah, I was not going to get that.
00:14:35.020 And they are really, they're really testing
00:14:36.520 y'all's knowledge here.
00:14:37.360 Wow, yeah.
00:14:38.640 I really like with this game.
00:14:40.260 That was out of the box.
00:14:40.960 I like that the producers chose quotes
00:14:43.360 that are not in any way well known.
00:14:46.260 That's great.
00:14:46.820 I'm glad they did that.
00:14:48.020 Right.
00:14:48.260 Yeah, that's the best part,
00:14:49.480 is they just sort of randomly opened books.
00:14:51.720 And it was like, they had a book on their shelf
00:14:53.760 and it was like Chris Farley's autobiography.
00:14:56.100 Yeah.
00:14:56.400 And then they just picked a random sentence
00:14:57.580 and they're like, okay, we'll put this one out there.
00:14:58.920 This is a quote.
00:14:59.900 Yeah.
00:15:01.080 I would like to take credit for any quotes
00:15:02.720 you guys like and get correct
00:15:03.840 and any that you've never heard of.
00:15:05.200 That was the producers.
00:15:06.020 They put those in.
00:15:07.020 And we will move on.
00:15:08.600 A man has free choice to the extent that he is rational.
00:15:12.940 Hmm.
00:15:15.860 Are there repeats?
00:15:17.460 There are not.
00:15:20.520 You may offer repeat answers,
00:15:21.980 but there are not repeat correct answers.
00:15:27.080 A man has free choice to the extent that he is rational.
00:15:30.120 Mr. Shapiro, who said that?
00:15:33.240 I'm going to say Descartes.
00:15:36.240 Knowles?
00:15:36.920 I wanted to go a little more old school.
00:15:39.480 I suggested St. Thomas Aquinas.
00:15:41.980 Very impressive.
00:15:42.920 Michael Knowles, that is correct.
00:15:44.820 Hey, all right.
00:15:46.060 There are too many Catholics on this list.
00:15:47.940 This is not okay.
00:15:50.180 It was one of those...
00:15:51.780 Only one Jew and many Catholics.
00:15:52.940 You know, all of the Enlightenment guys,
00:15:55.100 they liked rationalism a lot too,
00:15:57.920 but people forget those old school medieval scholastics.
00:16:01.500 They liked their reason.
00:16:02.720 All right.
00:16:03.140 So is this...
00:16:03.640 It's tied now?
00:16:05.040 Yes, we are tied.
00:16:07.320 Oh, man.
00:16:08.580 It's intense.
00:16:09.420 Okay.
00:16:09.980 I have high hopes for both of you guys on this one.
00:16:12.680 Every man has a property in his own person.
00:16:16.380 This nobody has a right to but himself.
00:16:18.580 It sounds like some kind of like...
00:16:21.600 Some kind of like lib stuff.
00:16:23.980 Hold on.
00:16:27.280 This is definitely not St. Thomas Aquinas.
00:16:30.240 Trying to see how many letters Ben is writing there.
00:16:41.700 Michael, are you done?
00:16:43.100 Yeah, like sure, whatever.
00:16:44.340 I'm so divided here.
00:16:45.240 Let's hear it.
00:16:46.480 I'm so divided.
00:16:47.160 I said Locke.
00:16:49.780 I don't know.
00:16:50.140 I said...
00:16:50.420 Is it Locke?
00:16:52.060 Ben?
00:16:53.120 I also said Locke.
00:16:54.340 And you also are correct.
00:16:56.000 You're both right.
00:16:57.220 John Locke.
00:16:57.880 Wow.
00:16:58.460 Okay.
00:16:58.740 Oh, man.
00:16:59.660 I was literally looking.
00:17:00.920 I was like, did Ben write five letters?
00:17:03.500 Did he write five letters or only four?
00:17:05.320 Do you feel lucky, punk?
00:17:06.960 Well, do you?
00:17:07.280 Yeah, exactly.
00:17:07.860 Exactly.
00:17:08.740 There was no luck.
00:17:09.540 That was all skill.
00:17:10.960 Just like your skill, Michael,
00:17:12.840 at reading some fantastic ads.
00:17:14.660 And I believe that you have a great ad
00:17:16.140 that we need to hear about.
00:17:16.900 Thank you very much.
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00:18:46.660 at naturallyitsclean.com slash Michael.
00:18:50.200 One thing that's not clean
00:18:51.740 are some of these quotes
00:18:53.480 that I have been given to read.
00:18:55.440 Mainly this next one.
00:18:56.720 Again, these are not my words.
00:18:59.460 I love it when you call me Big Papa.
00:19:01.240 Mm.
00:19:01.760 I will add also that Papa is P-O-P-P-A
00:19:08.140 if that is helpful at all.
00:19:10.500 Oh, okay.
00:19:11.240 I love it when you call me Big Papa.
00:19:13.100 This sounds like right in my wheelhouse
00:19:14.540 right here.
00:19:15.640 Mm-hmm.
00:19:18.480 I think I'm ready.
00:19:20.100 All right, Ben.
00:19:20.760 Let's see who you got.
00:19:24.760 Biggie.
00:19:25.080 Smokin' Blunts was a daily routine
00:19:30.160 since 13.
00:19:31.500 A chubby fella on the scene
00:19:33.100 by the name of Biggie Smalls.
00:19:35.620 Both very well done, gentlemen.
00:19:37.780 I would say you guys know your music.
00:19:40.260 I pulled that one.
00:19:41.280 I did not expect to get that one right.
00:19:42.940 I got Locke and you got Biggie.
00:19:44.360 That is well outside my wheelhouse.
00:19:45.500 This is impressive.
00:19:46.340 Yep.
00:19:46.760 Now, Ben, is Biggie a musical artist
00:19:49.940 or is he a poet?
00:19:52.020 What do we consider him?
00:19:53.000 I assumed it was his given name
00:19:55.520 that his mother,
00:19:57.640 he came out of his mother
00:19:58.540 and she said,
00:19:59.120 behold, I shall call him Biggie.
00:20:03.940 Moving on.
00:20:05.360 Iron sharpens iron.
00:20:07.180 So one man sharpens another.
00:20:13.140 Michael, who'd you put?
00:20:15.560 I don't know, like Shakespeare.
00:20:20.100 I'm surprised by that one.
00:20:21.320 Ben.
00:20:23.000 I said John Stuart Mill.
00:20:26.300 That is actually Solomon.
00:20:28.320 King Solomon.
00:20:29.120 King Solomon.
00:20:30.740 Oh, I should have known that one.
00:20:32.320 Well, that's, I mean,
00:20:33.020 since Shakespeare probably wrote the KJ.
00:20:34.560 They nail you with Proverbs.
00:20:36.280 Proverbs 2017.
00:20:37.740 Proverbs.
00:20:38.620 Or 2717.
00:20:40.020 Proverbs is so difficult to read, man.
00:20:41.700 Mishle, in Hebrew it's Mishle,
00:20:43.300 and it is rough to read.
00:20:44.880 It's like, it has so many great quotes,
00:20:47.200 but they're all juxtaposed with one another
00:20:49.520 in bizarre order.
00:20:50.360 And so there's no through line.
00:20:52.100 So everybody knows like three quotes from Proverbs,
00:20:55.120 but nobody actually knows how they fit together
00:20:57.080 because it's very, yeah.
00:20:58.460 Proverbs is also one where I,
00:20:59.980 I guess I could probably tell you a bunch of it,
00:21:02.900 but I, like, I could never tell you,
00:21:04.480 like, to your point,
00:21:05.260 I could never tell you where it is
00:21:06.460 or like the numbers or really anything.
00:21:07.960 It's all just kind of like a...
00:21:09.020 Yeah, that's right.
00:21:10.200 I smell a new show,
00:21:11.380 like an Old Testament survey course
00:21:13.480 taught by you two together.
00:21:15.900 Oh, yeah.
00:21:16.740 Ratings would be through the roof.
00:21:18.120 That's what the kids,
00:21:19.020 that's what the youths are after these days.
00:21:21.660 In a way, maybe it is.
00:21:23.420 I would rather be stricken blind
00:21:24.900 than to live without expression of mind.
00:21:29.220 I would rather be stricken blind
00:21:30.860 than to live without expression of mind.
00:21:32.620 Ben.
00:21:36.120 Keats, because it rhymes.
00:21:39.740 Knowles.
00:21:40.700 I said Shakespeare because it rhymes.
00:21:43.080 And like one of these has to be Shakespeare, right?
00:21:45.240 I mean, a Shakespeare of the 20th century.
00:21:48.720 This was Mr. Tupac Shakur.
00:21:50.960 Damn, I almost wrote Tupac as a joke.
00:21:54.580 That's frustrating.
00:21:55.560 See, this is Ben actually accidentally giving credit
00:21:58.520 to Tupac for being a brilliant lyricist.
00:22:00.420 Yeah.
00:22:00.640 It is.
00:22:01.300 It is.
00:22:01.720 You know, it is.
00:22:02.280 He is the modern day Keats.
00:22:04.920 That's exactly right.
00:22:07.180 Next up,
00:22:07.980 you were not made to live like brute beasts,
00:22:10.700 but to pursue virtue and knowledge.
00:22:17.960 We've got a standoff.
00:22:18.980 I think they're both looking at the camera
00:22:20.240 to see how many letters are being written by the other.
00:22:25.800 Michael, who'd you put?
00:22:27.280 Okay.
00:22:29.580 St. Augustine.
00:22:30.560 It sounds kind of Augustinian.
00:22:33.580 Ben?
00:22:35.640 I also thought about Augustine,
00:22:36.960 but we actually have not hit Plato yet, right?
00:22:38.620 We got Aristotle, who actually was correct,
00:22:40.420 but we haven't actually gotten it.
00:22:41.920 Yeah.
00:22:42.260 This was a tough one.
00:22:42.940 This was actually Dante.
00:22:44.460 Dante, really?
00:22:46.180 Yes.
00:22:46.900 Oh.
00:22:47.520 You've written him in the original Italian.
00:22:48.700 That's why he didn't recognize it.
00:22:49.640 Yeah, that's true.
00:22:50.140 Yeah, I don't, I'm not familiar with him.
00:22:51.360 If he was an Italian,
00:22:52.000 he would have been good.
00:22:52.740 If you were not made to live like
00:22:54.780 to pursue virtue and knowledge.
00:22:56.940 I guess I like vaguely.
00:22:57.940 Yeah.
00:22:58.240 All right.
00:22:58.660 Well.
00:22:59.760 Darn.
00:23:00.160 Now I, man,
00:23:00.980 I was really hoping to have an advantage
00:23:02.320 on the Dante quote.
00:23:03.120 This whole thing is like
00:23:03.640 the seventh circle of hell.
00:23:06.740 Do we have a,
00:23:07.560 can we have a score update?
00:23:08.900 Ben, are you still keeping score, producers?
00:23:10.540 What's the score right now?
00:23:11.420 No, I lost it a while ago.
00:23:12.640 I think I'm behind.
00:23:13.100 I think it's even right now, but yeah.
00:23:14.720 It is.
00:23:15.560 What is it?
00:23:15.860 Yeah, I don't know.
00:23:17.500 Seven to seven.
00:23:18.420 We've got a tie ball game
00:23:19.520 heading into this final stretch.
00:23:21.600 I think it's been even for a while.
00:23:22.500 All right.
00:23:22.660 None of us have gotten one right
00:23:23.500 in a long stretch here.
00:23:26.000 Here we go.
00:23:26.400 Next up.
00:23:27.180 We must reject the idea
00:23:28.620 that every time a law is broken,
00:23:30.660 society is guilty
00:23:31.640 rather than the lawbreaker.
00:23:32.940 It is time to restore
00:23:34.160 the American precept
00:23:35.280 that each individual
00:23:36.720 is accountable for his actions.
00:23:38.380 There are like four people
00:23:42.500 I'm thinking of right now.
00:23:44.560 This was another tough one.
00:23:45.540 This was one of the more, uh,
00:23:48.880 maybe unpopular
00:23:49.760 of this person's.
00:23:54.540 Michael, who'd you guess?
00:23:55.460 Oh, okay.
00:23:55.820 Let him know.
00:23:56.300 Oh, wait, wait, wait.
00:23:57.080 Hold on.
00:23:58.000 He gave a clue.
00:23:58.420 He gave a clue.
00:23:58.960 He gave a clue.
00:23:59.560 He gave a clue.
00:24:00.060 That's some bushley.
00:24:00.860 Yeah, no, he gave a clue
00:24:01.580 right there.
00:24:02.340 I thought the answers were final.
00:24:04.160 All right.
00:24:05.000 Oh, wait.
00:24:05.680 My conscience is clear.
00:24:06.800 I did not give a clue.
00:24:06.880 No, I can't see that either.
00:24:07.460 That guy's still alive.
00:24:08.380 Hold on, hold on, hold on.
00:24:09.660 Here we go.
00:24:10.040 Oh, I know who you were
00:24:10.640 thinking of for that one.
00:24:13.000 Yeah, you do, don't you?
00:24:14.960 Um, let's see.
00:24:17.480 You know what's funny?
00:24:17.780 That guy's alive too.
00:24:18.820 I was thinking of him too
00:24:19.900 and I also forgot
00:24:20.940 that he was still alive.
00:24:22.220 Yep.
00:24:23.280 How do you both know
00:24:24.700 who the other is talking about
00:24:26.020 by being this vague?
00:24:26.900 We're a little bit
00:24:27.620 on a wavelength right here, Cabot.
00:24:29.440 And that wavelength
00:24:30.100 is hopping over
00:24:31.000 the center of this screen.
00:24:32.360 Wait, over the center
00:24:33.440 of that screen.
00:24:34.220 All right, can we do it now?
00:24:35.180 Can we show the...
00:24:36.080 Yes, you can.
00:24:36.800 All right, okay, fine.
00:24:37.680 What do you have?
00:24:38.380 I think it was Reagan.
00:24:40.820 Ben?
00:24:42.940 I had written Reagan,
00:24:44.460 but then I changed it to LBJ
00:24:45.660 because Cabot suggested
00:24:46.580 it was surprising.
00:24:47.360 You always gotta trust your gut, Ben.
00:24:49.160 This was Reagan.
00:24:50.480 Yes.
00:24:51.440 Oh, you cheated me.
00:24:53.100 I literally wrote
00:24:53.840 Ronaldus Maximus
00:24:54.900 and then I erased it
00:24:55.920 because you wouldn't
00:24:56.480 shut your face, Cabot.
00:24:57.620 Oh, that's such...
00:24:58.480 Never be led astray
00:24:59.240 by the host.
00:24:59.880 Oh, man.
00:25:00.940 How did I lead you astray?
00:25:02.100 Bless it.
00:25:02.600 That's like...
00:25:03.020 Wow.
00:25:04.040 You said this was one
00:25:05.240 of his less popular stances.
00:25:06.500 Are you kidding?
00:25:07.240 That's what won Ronald Reagan
00:25:08.740 the presidency.
00:25:09.580 Yeah.
00:25:10.260 When you said it's one
00:25:10.920 of his less popular stances,
00:25:12.080 I immediately assumed
00:25:12.860 that it was somebody of the left.
00:25:13.800 Did you mean a less popular quote?
00:25:15.340 I meant a less popular quote of his
00:25:18.000 where if people are quoting
00:25:18.980 Ronald Reagan,
00:25:19.840 typically,
00:25:20.640 that's not the one
00:25:21.520 they're quoting.
00:25:22.040 You're like,
00:25:22.220 well...
00:25:22.660 No.
00:25:24.520 That's poor s***.
00:25:25.320 Okay.
00:25:25.540 Great.
00:25:25.980 All right.
00:25:26.480 Continue.
00:25:26.900 The real reason I do this
00:25:27.680 is because Michael
00:25:28.480 is actually three doors down from me.
00:25:30.380 Ben, you are three states down from me,
00:25:32.240 so I'm more scared of one
00:25:33.520 than the other.
00:25:34.160 That's true.
00:25:34.740 Now, the difference is
00:25:35.680 I don't sign the paychecks,
00:25:37.000 so...
00:25:37.560 That...
00:25:38.400 I may have miscalculated this.
00:25:39.440 I told you this was a lose-lose.
00:25:40.680 I forgot about that.
00:25:41.380 I would both lose to Michael
00:25:42.000 and continue to sign him paychecks
00:25:43.480 and now sign a paycheck
00:25:44.640 to a corrupt host
00:25:45.560 who's been bought off
00:25:46.520 by the sweater vest-wearing
00:25:47.740 jackass down the hall from him.
00:25:49.600 Man, this is...
00:25:52.460 I was so gonna complain
00:25:53.720 if Ben went from the wrong answer
00:25:55.540 to the right answer on that,
00:25:56.820 but now that's the way the rules work.
00:25:58.380 That's fine.
00:25:58.760 Okay, we're good.
00:25:59.420 I was led astray.
00:26:00.320 The proverbial cookie has crumbled.
00:26:02.760 Watch the tape.
00:26:03.580 Go back,
00:26:04.100 and you can see my hand move
00:26:05.460 as I write Ronald as Maximus
00:26:07.160 and then erase the answer.
00:26:09.220 Oh, well.
00:26:09.960 All right.
00:26:10.200 I'm gonna move on
00:26:10.860 before I actually do get fired.
00:26:12.500 Always do sober
00:26:13.620 what you said you would do drunk.
00:26:15.940 That will teach you
00:26:17.500 to keep your mouth shut.
00:26:18.580 Always do sober
00:26:20.440 what you said you would do drunk.
00:26:22.240 That will teach you
00:26:23.100 to keep your mouth shut,
00:26:24.060 and I'm gonna keep my mouth shut
00:26:25.020 and not offer any clues.
00:26:31.940 I really...
00:26:33.780 Yeah, I...
00:26:35.760 Looks like we got our answers in.
00:26:39.200 Hold on.
00:26:40.080 Oh, he's...
00:26:40.960 Ben, I did not give him a clue.
00:26:43.460 He is erasing this
00:26:44.220 of his own will and volition.
00:26:45.620 I know, I know.
00:26:46.300 That was not...
00:26:46.720 That wasn't you.
00:26:47.160 That wasn't you.
00:26:48.340 Okay, all right, all right.
00:26:49.780 I'm so frustrated.
00:26:50.900 Michael, who'd you switch to?
00:26:52.180 So, initially,
00:26:53.080 I said George Burns
00:26:54.380 because I could kind of
00:26:55.420 picture the quote with him
00:26:56.440 smoking a cigar or whatever,
00:26:57.540 but I changed it to Chesterton
00:26:58.680 because I assume Chesterton's
00:26:59.820 going to show up at some point
00:27:00.760 since he produced
00:27:02.340 half of the quotes
00:27:03.040 in the English language.
00:27:04.140 Ben?
00:27:06.280 I said Al Capone.
00:27:08.960 I wish I could give
00:27:09.860 that half point.
00:27:10.740 This was actually Hemingway.
00:27:12.540 Hemingway.
00:27:12.960 Okay, that's fair enough.
00:27:13.820 He never took the advice,
00:27:15.640 but, yeah,
00:27:16.200 that's good to know
00:27:16.820 that he at least understood it.
00:27:18.960 Well, I mean,
00:27:19.580 he had no choice.
00:27:21.080 He was always drunk.
00:27:21.740 That's true.
00:27:22.640 So...
00:27:23.200 He would never...
00:27:24.280 He never had to do anything.
00:27:25.660 Yep, that's true.
00:27:26.780 Next up is the shortest quote
00:27:28.220 of our list.
00:27:29.720 It is simply,
00:27:31.200 hee hee.
00:27:34.080 H-E-E.
00:27:35.280 What was it?
00:27:36.520 H-E-E.
00:27:37.900 H-E-E.
00:27:39.660 Hee hee.
00:27:40.160 Like hee hee hee.
00:27:40.840 I will read in different...
00:27:41.960 I'll read in a different tone.
00:27:43.660 Hee hee.
00:27:44.240 Uh-huh.
00:27:45.060 Hee hee.
00:27:47.800 Hee hee.
00:27:48.960 That's it.
00:27:49.620 That's the quote.
00:27:50.420 Could you keep...
00:27:50.940 Could you keep saying it, Cabot?
00:27:53.340 Um...
00:27:53.860 Yeah, that's great.
00:27:54.460 No, I'm a little worried about...
00:27:55.580 More voices.
00:27:56.460 ...what that might evoke
00:27:57.680 in the comment section,
00:27:58.500 so I'm not gonna do
00:27:59.160 any more of those,
00:27:59.940 but do we have any guesses?
00:28:01.460 Ben, we'll start with you.
00:28:05.100 The Joker.
00:28:06.740 Close.
00:28:08.300 Pretty close.
00:28:08.940 I'm gonna say...
00:28:11.220 Shemona!
00:28:12.480 Michael Jackson.
00:28:13.420 It is Mr. Michael Jackson.
00:28:15.240 Hee hee hee.
00:28:16.580 Yep.
00:28:18.440 Thank you.
00:28:19.380 I didn't know at first,
00:28:20.960 but the read really helped Cabot.
00:28:23.120 I appeal...
00:28:23.800 That one goes to the appellate court.
00:28:25.160 I'm sorry.
00:28:25.660 That is the thing
00:28:26.200 that the Joker also says.
00:28:27.780 That is not...
00:28:29.320 Michael, you won that,
00:28:30.680 but really everyone lost
00:28:31.680 for having to hear me
00:28:32.600 say hee hee repeatedly.
00:28:34.280 Yeah, that's true.
00:28:35.940 The most effective way
00:28:37.280 to destroy people
00:28:38.260 is to deny
00:28:39.080 and obliterate
00:28:39.800 their own understanding
00:28:40.880 of their history.
00:28:50.480 Ben is writing
00:28:51.220 a paragraph over there.
00:28:52.160 I gotta see this.
00:28:52.760 Ben, what'd you put?
00:28:55.380 Nicole Hannah-Jones.
00:28:56.740 And it's a playbook,
00:28:57.600 not a...
00:28:58.220 It's prescriptive, actually.
00:29:00.540 Yes.
00:29:01.380 Right, actually.
00:29:02.260 Yeah.
00:29:02.380 I, having never read
00:29:04.320 almost anything
00:29:06.200 this man has written,
00:29:07.240 I decided to say Solzhenitsyn
00:29:09.460 because I could hear
00:29:10.980 Jordan Peterson
00:29:12.520 quoting that
00:29:14.200 as a quote from Solzhenitsyn.
00:29:16.620 The most effective way...
00:29:16.880 Is this just you
00:29:17.660 wanting to show to everyone
00:29:18.600 that you know how to spell
00:29:19.740 Solzhenitsyn?
00:29:20.420 That was a stab in the dark, too.
00:29:22.180 That was definitely...
00:29:23.400 Probably some vowels
00:29:24.060 out of place.
00:29:24.560 This was actually
00:29:25.240 George Orwell.
00:29:26.620 Orwell.
00:29:27.400 Yeah.
00:29:27.660 The great part
00:29:34.080 about being a host,
00:29:35.260 which I'm learning
00:29:35.800 that you guys
00:29:36.320 must get to feel every day,
00:29:37.460 is the feeling of superiority
00:29:38.520 because I get to pretend
00:29:40.120 like I already knew
00:29:40.780 the answers to all
00:29:41.460 of these things
00:29:42.040 when in reality
00:29:43.420 the producers
00:29:44.360 are just telling me
00:29:45.060 in my ear.
00:29:45.580 So it's a nice feeling.
00:29:47.640 Next quote.
00:29:48.580 Lies, damned lies,
00:29:50.340 and statistics.
00:29:53.600 They're not giving you guys
00:29:54.500 a lot of context here.
00:29:55.460 They're just giving you
00:29:56.100 those five words.
00:29:57.940 I mean, it's been quoted
00:29:58.960 by zillions of people.
00:30:01.920 Yeah.
00:30:02.460 Every human.
00:30:03.740 Yeah.
00:30:05.960 Michael?
00:30:07.400 Mark Twain?
00:30:09.240 And Ben?
00:30:10.920 Yeah, he's correct.
00:30:11.840 That's right.
00:30:12.720 I put Disraeli,
00:30:13.420 but it is Twain.
00:30:14.140 We've got Mark Twain on here,
00:30:15.480 so Michael,
00:30:15.860 we'll give you
00:30:16.120 another point there.
00:30:17.580 Disraeli, though.
00:30:18.240 I wonder if...
00:30:18.960 Disraeli's got some
00:30:19.800 good quotes, too.
00:30:21.100 That's a good one
00:30:21.800 to throw in the noggin
00:30:22.620 if he might show up
00:30:23.980 in the rest of this game.
00:30:24.260 Yeah, but I'm blowing this, man.
00:30:26.160 This month's book
00:30:27.000 is Adventures of Huck Finn.
00:30:28.480 Really?
00:30:29.740 I'm blowing it.
00:30:30.920 Yeah, I'm completely
00:30:31.640 blowing it.
00:30:32.680 I'll admit that
00:30:33.180 it's not in Huck Finn, though.
00:30:34.360 So, okay.
00:30:36.440 Brevity.
00:30:37.840 Michael's now running
00:30:38.460 away with this thing.
00:30:39.220 Michael is running away
00:30:40.000 with this.
00:30:40.180 I've got a little bit
00:30:40.700 of a lead here.
00:30:41.400 I didn't want to give
00:30:42.040 a score update
00:30:42.920 because I didn't want
00:30:43.760 to appear to be
00:30:44.560 rubbing it in,
00:30:45.180 but I will remind...
00:30:46.000 Yeah, it's like 10-7
00:30:46.160 or something.
00:30:46.660 It got brutal here.
00:30:47.440 Maybe, Ben,
00:30:48.000 I'll remind you
00:30:48.560 of what's at stake
00:30:49.300 and this will motivate
00:30:50.440 a comeback.
00:30:51.280 You will have to film
00:30:52.620 and record a plug
00:30:53.580 on your own show
00:30:54.640 to listen to Michael's show
00:30:56.000 if you lose
00:30:57.400 and vice versa.
00:30:58.340 So just a reminder,
00:30:59.100 what's at stake?
00:31:02.460 To be frank,
00:31:03.660 I do that pretty much
00:31:04.920 every day
00:31:05.380 and it never helps.
00:31:06.420 So we'll just keep doing it.
00:31:07.920 It never helps
00:31:08.300 and it always hurts.
00:31:09.180 It always just digs
00:31:10.200 right into your...
00:31:10.860 Okay.
00:31:11.300 Well, if you don't want
00:31:11.840 to give it to Michael,
00:31:12.740 you can just plug
00:31:13.380 Morning Wire
00:31:13.860 and we'll call it even
00:31:15.260 on that.
00:31:15.800 And that's...
00:31:16.740 What do you think
00:31:17.420 I did this morning?
00:31:18.480 All right.
00:31:19.140 Anyway.
00:31:19.940 Next up.
00:31:21.440 Brevity is the soul of wit.
00:31:26.500 Ah, there we go.
00:31:28.180 Michael, it's all you, man.
00:31:29.180 You've been waiting
00:31:29.600 for this one.
00:31:30.020 I've been waiting
00:31:30.620 for this one.
00:31:31.660 It's kind of a trick.
00:31:33.120 Yeah.
00:31:33.400 It's kind of a trick question.
00:31:35.480 Why is that?
00:31:36.200 And explain your answer.
00:31:36.940 Let's see it, Michael.
00:31:38.000 Well, I actually have
00:31:39.420 to write it down, though,
00:31:40.060 like the real one
00:31:40.700 that I'm going to get credit for.
00:31:41.900 Okay.
00:31:42.900 It's really...
00:31:43.400 You know, everyone says
00:31:44.000 it's Shakespeare,
00:31:44.600 but it's really,
00:31:45.220 really Polonius.
00:31:46.740 Who says it?
00:31:47.400 His character in Hamlet.
00:31:49.620 Mmm.
00:31:50.800 Yeah.
00:31:51.180 Do I get bonus points?
00:31:51.780 Points to both of you.
00:31:53.220 Clearly, neither of you
00:31:54.180 were surprised.
00:31:54.900 Well done.
00:31:55.600 Yep.
00:31:57.440 Next up.
00:31:58.800 In individuals,
00:31:59.820 insanity is rare,
00:32:01.300 but in groups,
00:32:02.360 parties, nations,
00:32:04.740 in epochs,
00:32:05.340 it is the rule.
00:32:06.640 Did we say epochs,
00:32:07.920 epochs, epochs?
00:32:09.580 What do we say there?
00:32:11.440 I say epoch.
00:32:13.620 That's what I...
00:32:14.180 But I don't know.
00:32:15.000 Some say Tupac.
00:32:15.620 Tupac are cool.
00:32:16.180 Yeah.
00:32:17.740 Yeah, exactly.
00:32:19.040 Do we have an answer here?
00:32:19.780 Can you read the quote again,
00:32:20.720 Kevin?
00:32:20.740 I'll read it again.
00:32:21.360 In individuals,
00:32:22.320 insanity is rare,
00:32:23.680 but in groups,
00:32:24.620 parties,
00:32:25.080 nations,
00:32:25.500 and epochs,
00:32:26.060 it is the rule.
00:32:31.420 Ben, you've got a smile.
00:32:32.460 Let's see it.
00:32:34.340 Well, I mean,
00:32:34.800 I'm just going to crib off
00:32:35.660 of Michael here,
00:32:36.220 and I'm going to say
00:32:36.560 Solzhenitsyn this time.
00:32:38.260 I too said Solzhenitsyn this time.
00:32:40.300 I sort of thought
00:32:40.940 it might be Spengler,
00:32:42.060 but then I thought,
00:32:42.820 I was like,
00:32:43.120 there's no way
00:32:43.600 they looked up Spengler.
00:32:44.280 Yeah, there's no way
00:32:44.860 they're quoting Spengler.
00:32:45.740 No way.
00:32:46.160 Or Toynbee or something.
00:32:47.200 Yeah, no way.
00:32:47.820 This one was Nietzsche.
00:32:49.260 Nietzsche.
00:32:49.860 I was like...
00:32:50.740 I thought it sounded
00:32:51.700 too lucid to be Nietzsche.
00:32:53.000 Should have gotten that.
00:32:53.740 Should have gotten that.
00:32:54.180 I know.
00:32:54.480 I'm going to piss with myself.
00:32:55.120 As soon as you mentioned madness,
00:32:56.540 two out of three shot,
00:32:57.320 it's a Nietzsche quote.
00:32:57.940 Yeah, it's true.
00:32:59.140 It was just,
00:32:59.880 it was somewhat understandable,
00:33:01.540 which is why I assumed
00:33:03.220 there was no way
00:33:03.760 it could be Nietzsche,
00:33:04.380 but okay.
00:33:06.660 Ben, you're going to have
00:33:07.280 to make a comeback here.
00:33:08.020 You've got four quotes left
00:33:09.600 to Mount
00:33:10.480 is seemingly insurmountable.
00:33:12.680 At least we'll be done.
00:33:15.260 Quote,
00:33:15.740 as the family goes,
00:33:17.500 so goes the nation,
00:33:18.600 and so goes the whole world
00:33:19.800 in which we live.
00:33:21.700 Doesn't that sound nice?
00:33:22.880 Hmm.
00:33:23.420 As the family goes,
00:33:24.700 so goes the nation,
00:33:25.500 and so goes the whole world
00:33:26.600 in which we live.
00:33:28.120 Man,
00:33:28.680 I have heard this quote.
00:33:31.620 This is incorrect,
00:33:32.600 but I'm just going to write it anyway
00:33:33.580 because whatever, man.
00:33:34.800 It's over.
00:33:36.100 All right.
00:33:36.700 I'm just going to...
00:33:38.500 It should have been this guy,
00:33:39.900 but it isn't.
00:33:40.580 Michael, we'll start with you.
00:33:42.060 I'm still stabbing
00:33:43.300 at my Chesterton.
00:33:45.420 It's not Chesterton
00:33:46.360 because it's not funny enough,
00:33:47.680 but...
00:33:48.180 Ben?
00:33:51.060 Daniel Patrick Moynihan.
00:33:53.280 This was Pope John Paul II.
00:33:56.360 Pope John Paul II.
00:33:58.140 Yeah, he was a good pope.
00:33:59.100 I like that pope.
00:33:59.720 Yeah.
00:34:00.960 This one.
00:34:02.540 Well, which one, though,
00:34:03.460 is the real question.
00:34:05.320 When they say this one,
00:34:06.100 people say which one.
00:34:07.000 Okay.
00:34:07.440 All right.
00:34:07.780 I should have gotten that one.
00:34:10.100 Everyone thinks of changing the world.
00:34:12.060 The family of animals is...
00:34:13.340 This one's like,
00:34:14.820 the family of trees
00:34:15.820 is the foundation of...
00:34:17.740 I'll give you 30 seconds
00:34:21.620 if you want the floor
00:34:22.240 just to bash the pope.
00:34:23.320 I mean, that's...
00:34:23.840 Absolute.
00:34:24.320 That would be...
00:34:24.960 Oh, I mean,
00:34:25.720 I think we're all on board with this.
00:34:26.820 No, you know how the Catholics do it, though.
00:34:28.100 We always...
00:34:28.520 Because you have to be obedient,
00:34:29.800 so you're like,
00:34:30.180 well, you know,
00:34:30.700 I just think it might be
00:34:32.300 like in a very respectful...
00:34:33.800 You might be preaching a heresy,
00:34:35.440 Papa Francesco.
00:34:36.280 But you got to do it
00:34:36.760 like really nice, you know?
00:34:38.420 That's how...
00:34:38.760 It was all mistranslated.
00:34:39.960 It's all mistranslated.
00:34:40.620 Everything he says is mistranslated.
00:34:42.800 Every single thing.
00:34:43.760 He's actually speaking French.
00:34:45.600 It's just everything
00:34:46.020 he's speaking Italian.
00:34:46.180 Well, that's the problem.
00:34:46.780 You can't, yeah.
00:34:47.420 You can't get an Italian...
00:34:48.420 Right, yeah.
00:34:50.320 Next up...
00:34:51.140 Anyway.
00:34:51.560 Everyone thinks of changing the world,
00:34:53.700 but no one thinks of changing himself.
00:34:57.600 Hmm.
00:34:58.640 Everyone thinks of changing the world,
00:35:00.200 but no one thinks of changing himself.
00:35:01.740 I was going to say Michael Jackson
00:35:05.080 quoting from Man in the Mirror,
00:35:06.440 but there's no repeats.
00:35:09.080 Hmm.
00:35:12.200 Bike.
00:35:14.560 All right, Ben,
00:35:15.260 who'd you go with?
00:35:17.460 I said C.S. Lewis.
00:35:18.840 Again, wrong, but it's okay.
00:35:20.340 Yeah, I said Gandhi.
00:35:23.540 Also probably wrong.
00:35:25.180 We've got Tolstoy here.
00:35:26.720 Tolstoy, okay.
00:35:27.500 Yeah, that's definitely...
00:35:28.620 Hmm.
00:35:29.840 Did Tolstoy ever consider his own advice,
00:35:32.380 or no?
00:35:33.120 Did he...
00:35:33.800 Yeah, seriously.
00:35:34.280 I don't know.
00:35:35.860 It's like another Hemingway type quote.
00:35:38.260 Two more, just for...
00:35:40.340 You know, the winner might be decided,
00:35:41.900 but this is for pride.
00:35:42.920 So you could tie it up.
00:35:44.480 This is going to be a bonus question.
00:35:46.060 We might give double points for this one,
00:35:47.580 because I'll be very impressed.
00:35:49.880 Okay.
00:35:50.200 Just...
00:35:50.760 Hold on a second here.
00:35:52.220 We can easily forgive a child
00:35:53.820 who is afraid of the dark.
00:35:55.260 Just to rig this thing.
00:35:56.100 Yeah.
00:35:56.300 The real tragedy of life
00:35:57.840 is when men are afraid of the light.
00:36:00.860 We can easily forgive a child
00:36:02.600 who is afraid of the dark.
00:36:03.680 The real tragedy of life
00:36:04.840 is when men are afraid of the light.
00:36:10.420 Hmm.
00:36:16.080 I feel like this entire game
00:36:17.520 was just the entire book of Bartlett's quotations.
00:36:20.540 Yeah.
00:36:20.760 The entire book.
00:36:21.820 All 800 pages was the length of this game.
00:36:23.620 Michael.
00:36:29.000 Okay, fine.
00:36:29.580 This time I'll do Chesterton.
00:36:31.060 I did...
00:36:32.000 I'm not even going to wait.
00:36:32.500 I did Lewis,
00:36:33.480 and my B suggestion was Tolkien.
00:36:37.160 The one time you didn't guess Plato,
00:36:39.220 it was Plato.
00:36:39.920 Oh, it was Plato.
00:36:40.680 I thought...
00:36:41.040 I kind of thought...
00:36:41.880 Oh.
00:36:42.100 I guess that would kind of make sense with Plato.
00:36:46.660 And we are down to our final question.
00:36:48.660 He did love light.
00:36:49.480 Yeah.
00:36:49.780 He did love light.
00:36:51.200 Our final question,
00:36:52.640 our final quote is this.
00:36:54.680 Poor kids
00:36:55.400 are just as smart as white kids.
00:36:57.980 Mm-hmm.
00:37:00.680 And only dead people, right?
00:37:03.520 Right.
00:37:03.980 I'll leave that up to the producers
00:37:05.060 who chose this.
00:37:06.180 Yeah.
00:37:06.460 Michael Knowles.
00:37:11.780 One of the true wits
00:37:13.720 and philosophers of our age,
00:37:16.380 President Brandon.
00:37:17.580 Come on, man.
00:37:19.640 Ben?
00:37:22.760 Joseph R.
00:37:24.060 Mick Biden face.
00:37:26.080 Wow.
00:37:26.480 Well done, both of you.
00:37:28.000 Well done.
00:37:28.580 I'm not sure what qualifies as dead,
00:37:29.740 but we now know
00:37:31.400 that the Daily Wire host
00:37:32.820 who can quote the most
00:37:34.940 dead men accurately
00:37:36.600 is Michael Knowles.
00:37:38.060 Michael, would you like to...
00:37:39.460 How would you like to accept this?
00:37:41.100 I tell you,
00:37:42.220 I have not been nervous
00:37:43.560 about these games before,
00:37:45.680 but I was...
00:37:47.360 This is not just flattery.
00:37:49.560 This is no false modesty.
00:37:51.600 This is a man
00:37:52.560 who knows a lot of dead people,
00:37:53.980 but there were some crucial errors here
00:37:56.320 and lapses in Ben's education.
00:37:58.820 Namely, Michael Jackson.
00:38:00.620 Hee-hee.
00:38:01.100 And a handful of others as well.
00:38:03.600 So I accept this with humility
00:38:06.440 and a great deal of joy.
00:38:09.920 Well, you know,
00:38:11.100 all I can say is that
00:38:12.840 unlike Naturally It's Clean,
00:38:15.440 this competition
00:38:16.500 was not in fact clean.
00:38:20.480 And I hereby challenge
00:38:23.340 the Vice President of the United States,
00:38:24.880 Mike Pence,
00:38:25.460 to overturn the results
00:38:28.980 of this contest.
00:38:31.660 And I believe that there will be
00:38:33.220 a very big rally,
00:38:34.380 a very big rally,
00:38:35.100 peacefully congregate
00:38:36.480 near Michael Knowles' office.
00:38:38.920 I can hear...
00:38:39.940 And peacefully protest
00:38:40.720 at Michael Knowles' office.
00:38:43.620 Pardons available later.
00:38:44.700 I hear the door,
00:38:46.520 people are banging on the doors.
00:38:48.120 I hear facts don't care
00:38:49.700 about your Michael.
00:38:50.840 This could be very scary.
00:38:52.340 I'm just stuck in between
00:38:55.480 two men who...
00:38:55.800 All I'm saying is
00:38:56.380 I'm with you.
00:38:58.300 I'm with...
00:38:59.220 I'm with...
00:38:59.580 You're great people.
00:39:00.400 You're all very good people.
00:39:01.580 You're great people.
00:39:02.680 Very special.
00:39:03.560 Go on home.
00:39:04.520 You're very great people.
00:39:05.480 You can go on home.
00:39:08.720 Unlike the Vice President,
00:39:09.900 I don't have the power
00:39:10.740 to overturn
00:39:11.360 this competition,
00:39:12.860 unfortunately.
00:39:13.900 It's just...
00:39:14.560 I read the Constitution thoroughly.
00:39:15.980 It was not there.
00:39:16.900 I read the trivia bylaws.
00:39:18.680 Again, it was not there.
00:39:19.620 I'm sorry.
00:39:20.360 I must let this stand.
00:39:22.160 But before I let this stand,
00:39:23.400 Ben, we're going to have you
00:39:24.440 go ahead and just off the top,
00:39:26.040 I want it to come from the heart,
00:39:27.200 your 30-second pitch.
00:39:28.380 Michael, sit back and enjoy.
00:39:29.520 Right.
00:39:32.080 If you wish to hear
00:39:33.180 a man
00:39:34.340 far too educated
00:39:35.900 for his meager lot in life
00:39:37.480 speak to you
00:39:38.780 of dead people
00:39:40.140 and their quotes,
00:39:42.200 then make sure to check out
00:39:43.220 The Michael Knowles Show,
00:39:44.180 a repository of other people's wisdom
00:39:46.160 and also a host
00:39:48.780 who says things sometimes.
00:39:50.580 On that show,
00:39:51.740 you will hear alleged humor.
00:39:53.540 You will hear verbiage
00:39:55.540 in the form of English sentences
00:39:57.500 sometimes.
00:39:59.300 And you will hear
00:40:00.560 much snobbery.
00:40:03.540 There will be a lot of talk
00:40:04.240 about cigars.
00:40:05.920 There will be
00:40:06.780 a bizarre sort of smarminess
00:40:09.280 that you can't seem to shake.
00:40:10.900 But if you enjoy
00:40:11.680 all of those things,
00:40:13.200 then The Michael Knowles Show
00:40:14.680 is for you.
00:40:15.900 Congratulations
00:40:16.460 to the most humble
00:40:18.640 of our hosts,
00:40:20.280 the most generous of spirits,
00:40:22.440 the least corrupt,
00:40:25.320 the,
00:40:25.600 just,
00:40:26.420 a person I'm so glad
00:40:27.640 to employ
00:40:28.520 every single day,
00:40:31.160 Michael X. Knowles.
00:40:34.240 Thank you.
00:40:34.700 Yeah, that's,
00:40:35.220 that's all.
00:40:36.100 Thank you, Ben.
00:40:36.660 I'm honored.
00:40:37.580 I am going to make that
00:40:38.360 my new log line
00:40:39.420 of the show, I think.
00:40:40.240 The Michael Knowles Show,
00:40:41.120 a suppository of knowledge.
00:40:42.580 That, I,
00:40:43.100 thank you.
00:40:43.620 Hey, that's awesome.
00:40:46.100 We're going to leave it there
00:40:46.980 before it gets any weirder.
00:40:48.760 I will say I'm impressed.
00:40:49.880 That was well over 30 seconds.
00:40:51.320 That's just Ben going above
00:40:52.180 and beyond.
00:40:52.580 Very, very kind of him.
00:40:54.260 He's a generous
00:40:54.520 and charitable man.
00:40:55.600 And you are a generous
00:40:56.580 and charitable man,
00:40:57.300 Michael,
00:40:57.540 for letting me call myself
00:40:58.660 a host on the show,
00:40:59.560 which you host.
00:41:00.880 I very much appreciate
00:41:01.960 both of you
00:41:02.720 for joining the Trivia Challenge
00:41:04.340 and everyone for watching.
00:41:06.440 I'm Cabba Phillips,
00:41:07.340 joined by Mr. Michael Knowles,
00:41:08.560 Mr. Ben Shapiro.
00:41:09.820 Thanks for watching.
00:41:10.500 We'll see you next time.
00:41:15.660 Bye.
00:41:16.240 Bye.
00:41:16.780 Bye.
00:41:19.100 Bye.
00:41:19.320 Bye.
00:41:19.440 Bye.
00:41:19.940 Bye.
00:41:22.460 Bye.
00:41:22.660 Bye.
00:41:22.960 Bye.
00:41:23.440 Bye.
00:41:23.760 Bye.
00:41:23.960 Bye.
00:41:25.620 Bye.
00:41:25.920 Bye.
00:41:26.120 Bye.
00:41:26.720 Bye.
00:41:26.880 Bye.
00:41:26.960 Bye.
00:41:27.240 Bye.
00:41:27.580 Bye.
00:41:27.860 Bye.
00:41:28.420 Bye.
00:41:29.320 Bye.
00:41:30.620 Bye.
00:41:30.760 Bye.
00:41:31.800 Bye.
00:41:32.400 Bye.
00:41:32.640 Bye.
00:41:32.840 Bye.
00:41:39.260 Bye.