The Michael Knowles Show - January 03, 2026


Comedians DESTROY Libs With JOKES and FUNNIES


Episode Stats


Length

15 minutes

Words per minute

164.54547

Word count

2,478

Sentence count

281

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian Michael Naidine ( ) joins Betsy and Amanda this week to talk about the death of Joe Biden, and what it means to be a liberal in the 21st century. Plus, a look at what it's like to live in a world where women don't have to keep their husbands in line.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 All right, Bobby, let's show that clip one last time.
00:00:03.960 I hated school as a kid.
00:00:08.540 My mother would always say,
00:00:11.180 you should enjoy it, you'll be successful someday.
00:00:16.240 And I said,
00:00:18.760 no, Mom,
00:00:20.880 I'm going to be a comedian.
00:00:26.460 You may have seen that clip of our next guest.
00:00:30.000 Now, before he comes out, I just want to say,
00:00:33.100 I know how he looks,
00:00:35.060 but this is how he wanted to come out.
00:00:39.080 And honestly, I think we could all use a good laugh.
00:00:42.240 So please welcome,
00:00:44.240 Michael Nose!
00:00:49.540 You know we ain't gonna die!
00:00:52.300 My favorite genre of comedy is the entire corpus of Norm Macdonald.
00:01:02.420 Thank you.
00:01:03.180 My second favorite genre of comedy
00:01:05.420 is when the comedians destroy libs with jokes and funnies.
00:01:13.140 You know, I don't know.
00:01:13.820 In a way, it's not even just because I'm conservative that I like it,
00:01:16.860 but because that is, by the standards of our age, relatively subversive.
00:01:20.700 So anyway, the producers have brought to me comedy
00:01:24.320 that they say totally jabs the libs.
00:01:28.260 And so we will indulge ourselves
00:01:30.860 with the kind of slop of laughing at our enemies.
00:01:34.960 My favorite thing about Biden was
00:01:36.920 anytime he was giving a speech,
00:01:39.420 in between teleprompters,
00:01:40.980 his face would go back to being dead.
00:01:43.860 You remember that?
00:01:44.460 He'd be like,
00:01:44.980 No!
00:01:45.200 No, serious.
00:01:51.320 Look, I get it.
00:01:52.000 You guys are pretty liberal here.
00:01:54.440 Look, I understand being liberal, dude.
00:01:56.540 It feels good.
00:01:57.740 It's powerful.
00:01:58.980 It's too powerful, dude.
00:02:00.000 It's like the Sith.
00:02:02.180 You're like, lose yourself, dude.
00:02:03.680 Somebody says something you don't like at work,
00:02:05.200 you're like,
00:02:05.340 That's good.
00:02:10.180 It's good.
00:02:10.620 I like Shane Gillis.
00:02:12.600 But it's funny,
00:02:13.360 because that clip obviously is older.
00:02:15.600 And now,
00:02:16.760 Biden feels like a million years ago.
00:02:19.460 We are standing in the valley
00:02:21.100 of the ancient and forgotten.
00:02:24.300 The men buried here
00:02:25.680 are millions of years old
00:02:28.080 and were leaders that failed miserably.
00:02:32.580 Oh, look.
00:02:38.080 We're just in a totally different world.
00:02:40.300 I think it's because of the popular vote.
00:02:41.880 The fact that Trump not only won implausibly,
00:02:44.080 but won the popular vote
00:02:46.260 for his non-consecutive second term.
00:02:48.720 It's just like, oh, Biden?
00:02:50.320 Yeah.
00:02:50.520 Oh, that guy that they installed
00:02:51.860 when they changed all the voting rules?
00:02:53.340 Yeah, that.
00:02:54.240 Yeah, it's over, man.
00:02:55.880 It's over.
00:02:56.140 I wonder if you went to that audience now.
00:02:57.800 I mean, I guess they just elected
00:02:58.820 a jihadi communist in New York,
00:03:00.720 but a lot of these audiences now,
00:03:03.240 I don't even know if they even identify
00:03:04.620 as particularly liberal.
00:03:05.780 Okay, next one.
00:03:06.780 I'll tell you right now,
00:03:08.240 say what you want about Republican presidents,
00:03:10.420 but they got their first ladies in line. 1.00
00:03:13.940 They do.
00:03:16.300 Dude, George W. was president for eight years.
00:03:19.900 Eight years.
00:03:20.800 I don't even know his wife's name.
00:03:24.900 What was it, Abigail or some sh**?
00:03:26.880 Maggie?
00:03:27.540 No clue.
00:03:29.640 Donald Trump's wife stands behind him
00:03:31.740 like a giant meerkat.
00:03:38.820 Bill Clinton was president.
00:03:40.180 His wife never shut up.
00:03:41.620 I want to do health care.
00:03:45.400 He f**ked around on her so much,
00:03:47.000 he's like, all right, whatever, just do it.
00:03:51.600 Yeah, I don't know.
00:03:52.300 Am I just not in the mood today?
00:03:53.680 I don't know.
00:03:54.260 It's not hitting me.
00:03:55.060 You know, maybe what it is actually is
00:03:56.940 I know that Bill Burr is like a huge lib.
00:04:00.600 I know he's like a huge,
00:04:02.560 and he talks about like keeping your wife in line.
00:04:08.760 I don't know.
00:04:10.660 He seems like kind of a lib now.
00:04:12.860 And it was when he went on that late night show
00:04:14.420 and he was chanting Luigi, Luigi,
00:04:16.700 like justifying this left-wing terrorist
00:04:18.600 who murdered a father and a husband,
00:04:21.140 the UnitedHealthcare CEO for just no reason,
00:04:23.780 ostensibly ideological reasons.
00:04:26.060 Yeah, I don't know.
00:04:27.480 It's not, I don't know, guys.
00:04:29.600 Is it me or are the producers
00:04:31.280 just picking relatively weaker clips?
00:04:34.200 Thanks.
00:04:35.800 I don't know.
00:04:36.540 Is it doing it for you?
00:04:37.320 Tell me in the comments.
00:04:38.080 Is it doing it for you?
00:04:38.920 It's not doing it for me.
00:04:40.640 Am I just Scrooge right now?
00:04:42.480 Am I just bah humbug?
00:04:43.720 I don't, let's try it again.
00:04:46.060 See, I'm not racist.
00:04:46.940 It's just the outfits that bother me.
00:04:48.300 Like, I was at Boston Logan Airport.
00:04:54.420 A family of Somalians came in.
00:04:57.360 Typical Somalian family, you know, 1.00
00:04:59.200 one husband, three wives, ten children.
00:05:02.300 You know, all the women were wearing, you know, that. 1.00
00:05:04.980 Just that with a little hole in it.
00:05:15.200 You ever seen the Somalian burqa?
00:05:17.140 It's different.
00:05:18.160 It's, you know, looks...
00:05:21.840 You ever see those skydivers
00:05:24.260 where they wear the flying squirrel outfit?
00:05:25.880 It kind of looks like that.
00:05:31.640 And, I mean, I wasn't even bothered by that.
00:05:33.420 They were in the same line as me.
00:05:35.560 It was general screening.
00:05:36.740 They unclipped,
00:05:37.640 and then they got into the priority line,
00:05:39.720 and the TSA guy was like,
00:05:40.620 no, no, no, you can't do that.
00:05:42.020 And then the woman just started speaking at him, 1.00
00:05:43.980 like, in her language.
00:05:44.840 She was just like,
00:05:45.360 I'm...
00:05:45.960 You know how they sound.
00:05:51.540 You've...
00:05:52.020 You've seen Star Wars.
00:05:55.880 And...
00:05:56.660 It is weird that it's the Scar Wars thing.
00:05:59.640 It is.
00:06:06.000 Listen.
00:06:11.000 I'm joking.
00:06:12.180 I love Minnesota.
00:06:13.860 Anyway, I...
00:06:16.880 They call it the Pirate State.
00:06:25.880 Yeah, all right.
00:06:27.820 That was better.
00:06:28.540 Feels more of the moment.
00:06:30.380 Somali jokes are much more of the moment right now, 1.00
00:06:32.640 and he hit a lot of layers to it.
00:06:34.900 Layers.
00:06:36.000 Onions have layers.
00:06:38.180 I actually hadn't totally noticed
00:06:39.900 the difference between the Somali burkas,
00:06:41.780 but we all have noticed the Star Wars thing.
00:06:44.200 Bakalaka haku, Han Solo.
00:06:46.900 We have.
00:06:47.300 It's weird.
00:06:47.900 It's funny.
00:06:48.340 Then he took it further
00:06:49.660 into a more kind of offensively racial area.
00:06:53.160 You know, the Sand People thing, 1.00
00:06:55.180 which is a nice tie-in.
00:06:58.180 Anyway, I don't...
00:06:59.840 Yeah.
00:07:00.800 He had no...
00:07:01.540 He wasn't begging for laughter from his audience.
00:07:04.880 He wasn't.
00:07:05.400 He was very late.
00:07:06.040 That was good.
00:07:06.720 Okay, I'm getting more...
00:07:07.720 I'm feeling more in the spirit.
00:07:09.500 Okay, let's keep going.
00:07:10.700 Hold on one second.
00:07:11.800 Go to expressvpn.com
00:07:13.240 slash Michael,
00:07:14.420 M-I-C-H-A-E-L, 1.00
00:07:15.640 letter Y, letter T.
00:07:16.760 It is ironic when you think about it.
00:07:18.520 You've got millions of military members
00:07:19.940 that fought for our freedom,
00:07:20.880 and yet we're losing more privacy
00:07:22.520 every single day.
00:07:23.740 Our phones are listening.
00:07:25.080 Tech companies are tracking everything.
00:07:26.860 It's all totally legal.
00:07:28.080 All right, we need to make sure
00:07:29.820 that we take our privacy
00:07:31.380 and our property very seriously.
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00:07:54.180 for your freedom from home,
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00:08:04.560 slash Michael, letter Y, letter T.
00:08:06.980 That is expressvpn.com
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00:08:10.540 All these f***ing liberals.
00:08:13.860 There's no liberals here.
00:08:15.040 Maybe there are.
00:08:16.400 If there are liberals here,
00:08:17.720 they're sitting there like,
00:08:18.580 just don't move.
00:08:21.420 Yeah, it's like Jurassic Park.
00:08:32.180 It won't see us if we...
00:08:36.500 No, liberals don't spend money 0.96
00:08:41.760 on this s***.
00:08:46.500 They're spending money
00:08:47.400 at lesbian firetruck conventions.
00:08:53.440 Because they got...
00:08:54.180 That's why, you know,
00:08:54.840 everybody's so hard
00:08:55.600 on the lesbian firefighters
00:08:56.620 who didn't know
00:08:57.080 what they were doing.
00:08:57.740 It's like, well,
00:08:58.140 what do you expect?
00:08:58.780 They don't know how to
00:08:59.400 f***ing pull the hoes. 1.00
00:09:03.000 Am I right?
00:09:05.380 I mean, it's all right.
00:09:06.860 Like...
00:09:07.380 You know, I actually like
00:09:08.540 the setup more than the payoff.
00:09:09.680 But it was all right.
00:09:10.220 I like that guy's stuff.
00:09:11.240 He's got a good ethos to him.
00:09:12.640 I don't...
00:09:13.820 Deep down, I don't think
00:09:14.520 anyone's really
00:09:15.120 Democrat or Republican,
00:09:16.380 you know?
00:09:17.420 It's like,
00:09:18.340 are you really liberal?
00:09:19.380 Liberal people?
00:09:20.600 Or are you just under 35, really?
00:09:25.200 Never owned your own business.
00:09:27.100 Once you open that
00:09:28.020 gluten-free muffin shop
00:09:29.240 or whatever it is,
00:09:30.940 you're like,
00:09:31.180 these taxes are a little high
00:09:32.660 to support this niche market
00:09:37.040 that's buying my cupcakes.
00:09:40.460 And if that doesn't switch
00:09:41.720 you conservative,
00:09:42.480 let's be honest,
00:09:43.200 every liberal is just
00:09:44.220 one bad mugging away
00:09:45.540 from switching to conservative.
00:09:47.980 You're walking around
00:09:48.860 and you're like,
00:09:49.140 I'm with her, Bernie.
00:09:50.880 And three kids jump you,
00:09:52.100 beat the shit out of you
00:09:52.960 while their friends film it
00:09:54.180 and put it on YouTube.
00:09:57.140 Yeah, you wake up
00:09:58.040 the next day like,
00:09:58.740 you know what?
00:09:59.240 Donald Trump has
00:09:59.940 a lot of good ideas.
00:10:01.140 You know, it's like,
00:10:01.620 we gotta build a wall
00:10:03.660 immediately!
00:10:07.160 Yeah, it feels dated to me
00:10:08.940 is the problem.
00:10:09.600 And I don't know
00:10:10.160 when this was,
00:10:11.100 so that might be
00:10:12.120 unfair criticism,
00:10:13.240 but like I said,
00:10:14.040 maybe you're under 35.
00:10:15.120 If you're under 35,
00:10:15.840 you're liberal.
00:10:16.260 I don't think that's true anymore.
00:10:17.680 I think if you're under 35,
00:10:19.140 you might be a communist,
00:10:20.820 you might be like
00:10:21.360 a trans-communist,
00:10:23.160 terrorist,
00:10:23.900 Antifa member,
00:10:24.700 or you're a Nazi. 0.67
00:10:26.120 Like, I actually don't think
00:10:27.780 20 years ago,
00:10:28.920 you would say,
00:10:29.260 if you're under 35,
00:10:30.100 you know.
00:10:30.520 If you're not a liberal,
00:10:31.720 by the time you're 17,
00:10:33.340 you have no heart.
00:10:34.040 And if you're not a conservative,
00:10:35.120 by the time you're 35,
00:10:36.080 you have no brain.
00:10:36.880 You know,
00:10:37.020 that's what we would say
00:10:37.660 20 years ago.
00:10:38.480 But now it's like,
00:10:39.940 if you're not an Antifa trans member
00:10:42.500 or a Nazi,
00:10:43.360 by the time you're 14,
00:10:45.060 you are,
00:10:45.860 you're not 14.
00:10:46.840 You're a boomer.
00:10:47.520 So that doesn't read to me.
00:10:48.980 Even the gluten-free muffin shop thing,
00:10:50.880 now it's all the right-wingers.
00:10:52.760 It's all the 35-year-old
00:10:54.480 right-wing moms 1.00
00:10:56.100 in the suburbs
00:10:57.060 who are into the crunchy stuff.
00:11:01.140 Who are into gluten-free or whatever.
00:11:02.720 So that changed,
00:11:04.000 Trump changed the game.
00:11:05.180 You know,
00:11:05.480 it doesn't,
00:11:07.220 it just doesn't hit.
00:11:08.280 Like it used,
00:11:08.960 that joke would have hit 10 years ago.
00:11:10.640 I don't think it hits anymore.
00:11:11.920 I got yelled at the show recently.
00:11:13.140 This guy goes,
00:11:13.540 hey buddy,
00:11:13.980 that's a trigger word.
00:11:15.020 I was like,
00:11:15.440 whoa,
00:11:15.900 I think it's pronounced trigger.
00:11:19.260 Easy there,
00:11:20.160 big fella. 0.89
00:11:22.120 And look,
00:11:22.720 you know,
00:11:23.200 if you get upset or offended,
00:11:24.540 that's cool.
00:11:24.960 I'm not one of those guys.
00:11:25.720 You're allowed to be offended.
00:11:26.600 That's totally cool.
00:11:27.300 But if you are,
00:11:27.900 just shut up. 1.00
00:11:30.040 You're not a hero.
00:11:30.760 You're just ruining a show.
00:11:31.620 Just be offended.
00:11:32.180 Just let it float through you.
00:11:33.200 Just feel it,
00:11:33.800 right?
00:11:34.660 Yeah,
00:11:34.980 don't share.
00:11:35.580 We don't care.
00:11:36.080 Just feel.
00:11:36.740 Yeah.
00:11:37.300 We all have thoughts.
00:11:38.280 I might want to sleep with your girlfriend. 1.00
00:11:39.420 I just hold it in.
00:11:40.080 I don't say it.
00:11:40.580 Yeah,
00:11:40.760 yeah.
00:11:41.660 Yeah,
00:11:41.940 just feel it.
00:11:43.780 We're so obsessed with words now.
00:11:45.200 It kind of shows how good we have it.
00:11:46.260 We've got to focus on words,
00:11:47.420 you know?
00:11:47.760 Like in the 70s,
00:11:48.840 it was all about actions.
00:11:50.040 Like if you want to show you're brave in the 70s,
00:11:51.620 you had to jump over 12 buses on a motorcycle.
00:11:53.920 Now I see a guy make an off-color joke at the office.
00:11:56.300 I'm like,
00:11:56.740 that guy's fearless.
00:11:58.680 Holy s***.
00:12:00.180 Wow.
00:12:02.180 Yeah,
00:12:02.700 I don't know.
00:12:02.960 People take things so seriously.
00:12:04.500 I guess they got to show you their personality by yelling at you about stuff that bothers them.
00:12:10.020 I don't know.
00:12:10.620 Like,
00:12:11.280 I don't mean any of this stuff.
00:12:12.300 I'm just saying words in a certain order to elicit laughter.
00:12:14.680 People like try to figure me out through my act.
00:12:16.800 It's all jokes.
00:12:17.760 I told an abortion joke recently, 0.76
00:12:19.360 and a woman approached me. 0.98
00:12:20.340 She was like,
00:12:20.600 hey,
00:12:20.720 that's very insensitive.
00:12:21.800 I've had an abortion.
00:12:22.780 You shouldn't tell jokes like that.
00:12:24.100 I was like,
00:12:24.400 whoa,
00:12:24.660 hey,
00:12:24.900 sorry.
00:12:25.180 I just told a joke.
00:12:25.960 I think what you did was much worse.
00:12:28.400 That's okay.
00:12:29.100 That bit at the end there is like,
00:12:30.580 yeah,
00:12:30.900 I don't,
00:12:32.180 I want to know.
00:12:33.360 I bet this was,
00:12:34.440 I bet that bit was from like eight years ago.
00:12:36.740 Why is everyone getting so offended these days?
00:12:38.540 What's the deal with this political correctness?
00:12:40.180 It's like,
00:12:40.420 well,
00:12:40.500 that's not,
00:12:41.100 that's not where we are,
00:12:42.180 is it?
00:12:43.160 It's just words.
00:12:44.180 Now we know that the words really do matter.
00:12:46.020 A lot of times how the lives have changed the culture.
00:12:47.600 Who picked these clips?
00:12:48.980 I want to know.
00:12:49.860 Get on the microphone.
00:12:50.620 Who picked these clips?
00:12:51.920 Jacob and I.
00:12:53.000 You,
00:12:53.380 who picked that clip?
00:12:54.540 That specific one?
00:12:55.500 Yes.
00:12:56.160 Jacob.
00:12:56.920 Professor Jacob,
00:12:57.680 get on the microphone.
00:12:58.600 Do you find that funny?
00:12:59.680 If we were playing stuff that I found funny,
00:13:01.520 it would just be brain rot.
00:13:02.780 So yeah,
00:13:03.120 you don't,
00:13:03.680 you don't find that funny.
00:13:05.080 So see,
00:13:05.740 this is what you've done.
00:13:07.120 You've picked clips.
00:13:08.540 This is what,
00:13:09.100 this is the problem.
00:13:09.860 This matters.
00:13:10.720 This is the problem with the conservative movement largely.
00:13:14.360 You haven't,
00:13:15.320 if the assignment was pick clips that are funny for a conservative against a liberal,
00:13:19.900 you have failed that assignment because you picked a clip that you said,
00:13:23.100 I don't find this funny and you're a conservative.
00:13:25.500 But so what you did was you picked a clip that you thought some other conservative who's not you
00:13:31.780 would find funny.
00:13:33.220 And this is what the conservative movement does.
00:13:35.140 It's like when I hear some of these politicians these days,
00:13:37.940 when I hear some of these,
00:13:39.740 these right wingers talking,
00:13:41.400 even the pundits and these people,
00:13:42.820 I wonder,
00:13:43.360 I was like,
00:13:43.500 who are you talking to?
00:13:44.400 Who is this for?
00:13:45.540 What are you talking about?
00:13:46.800 You are,
00:13:47.300 it's like you're living 10 years ago.
00:13:49.700 No,
00:13:50.320 that is not funny.
00:13:51.660 Which one did you pick?
00:13:53.660 You know which one I picked.
00:13:54.300 That guy,
00:13:54.840 it was the,
00:13:55.280 it was like the one funny clip.
00:13:56.940 That was the one funny clip.
00:13:58.640 I know.
00:13:59.040 I,
00:13:59.720 wow.
00:14:00.180 I really,
00:14:01.140 this has been educational for me.
00:14:03.100 It's been very painful.
00:14:04.260 I've never laughed so little at a comedy compilation,
00:14:06.100 but it's very educational because when you,
00:14:09.140 so,
00:14:09.760 is this true of commentary on the right?
00:14:11.360 This is true of campaign platforms from the Republicans.
00:14:14.400 You say,
00:14:14.820 hey,
00:14:15.240 go out there and talk like a conservative and advance conservatism.
00:14:18.740 Then people say and do a bunch of stuff.
00:14:20.660 You say that,
00:14:21.080 what was it?
00:14:21.700 Do you believe that?
00:14:22.480 They say,
00:14:22.700 no.
00:14:23.840 Do you find that entertaining or funny or edifying?
00:14:25.740 No.
00:14:27.140 What are you doing?
00:14:27.740 Well,
00:14:27.860 no,
00:14:28.000 that's for other,
00:14:28.600 that's for the other conservatives.
00:14:30.180 You don't,
00:14:30.420 what are we talking about?
00:14:32.880 It's changed.
00:14:33.600 It's also,
00:14:34.000 it's changed so much.
00:14:35.160 A lot of that stuff would have killed 10 years ago.
00:14:37.320 It's not killing now.
00:14:38.040 We're in different circumstances.
00:14:39.280 Wow.
00:14:40.560 That was,
00:14:41.800 I've laughed more at car accidents.
00:14:45.260 That was,
00:14:47.220 we're in a,
00:14:50.000 we're in a whole new world.
00:14:52.080 Hopefully next time we can chuckle.
00:14:54.620 Bye.
00:14:55.020 Bye.
00:14:55.660 Bye.
00:14:55.780 Bye.
00:15:00.020 Bye.
00:15:03.020 Bye.