Ep. 2010 - The Dating Crisis Has A Solution No One Is Talking About
Episode Stats
Harmful content
Misogyny
26
sentences flagged
Toxicity
18
sentences flagged
Hate speech
45
sentences flagged
Summary
Pepperdine s School of Public Policy is a great place to learn about American politics, national security, and local government, depending on where you feel called to serve. And it s a place where ideas and policy actually intersect.
Transcript
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It's the fourth day in the octave of American independence.
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I hope everyone got some downtime over the weekend.
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Some of you are extending the festivities this week.
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Maybe you're going to the beach, just taking a few days off work.
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Whatever you're doing, I hope you are taking this reprieve from your ordinary responsibilities
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to find a lady if you're a guy or to find a guy if you're a lady and that you are getting
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because we are in a dating, marriage, and baby recession.
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and I think I know the reason why and how to fix it.
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Welcome back to the show. There's a new trend among the youths, and this is good. This is
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countering the dating, marriage, baby recession. It's RizMaxing. The Zoomers are RizMaxing.
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It's a trend all over social media. The Love Doctor will enter in to adjudicate the efficacy
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of the RizMaxers. We'll get to that momentarily on this beautiful 4th of July week.
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like Pepperdine's School of Public Policy matter.
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with customized studies around American politics,
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especially unique, is the setting. Students spend time in Malibu overlooking the Pacific
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and in Washington, D.C., just blocks from the White House, learning not only in the classroom,
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but in places where ideas and policy actually intersect. Most important, Pepperdine still
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believes the purpose of higher education is to pursue the truth, not just to embrace ideological
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conformity. If you are serious about serving your community or even serving your country,
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Pepperdine School of Public Policy is worth exploring. Go to go.pepperdine.edu slash daily
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Wire. That is go.pepperdine.edu slash dailywire, D-A-I-L-Y-W-I-R-E. Head on over there right now.
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Great, great school. The numbers are brutal, folks. You're not shacking up enough, okay? You're not
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making it happen. There's a study out of the Institute for Family Studies, the state of our
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unions dating recession. And the picture is very, very bleak. And everybody is offering
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all sorts of explanations as to why this is happening. I think they're kind of missing
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the obvious one. So birth rates have been on a long-term decline. Obviously, we've been
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below replacement in terms of our birth rates. It's 1971. That long-term decline accelerated
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after the global financial crisis. So after 2007, things really started to get bad. The births in
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2025, according to the CDC, 3.6 million births. That is down 1% from 2024. 2024, which is down
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from the years before that, down, down, down, down, down. If we're losing 1% of births a year,
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So you don't really want a lot of 15-year-olds
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there are people who are coping and saying,
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because teenage girls aren't getting pregnant anymore.
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But the problem is not the 15 to 19, it's everyone after that because the trend is really pronounced
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in women all the way up to 44. The GFR is down 1%, another 1% from what it was in 2024. Do you
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know how much it's down since 2007? We are truly just like the frog being boiled slowly. Since
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2007, the general fertility rate is down 23%. And it's not like it was so hot in 2007 either.
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So, then the total fertility rate hit a low in 2024 of 1.6. So, 1.6 babies per couple,
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well below replacement. And these are all based on provisional data, so it might actually be
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worse than that. This is well below the replacement rate, which is 2.1. Okay, teen
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births are way down. That's great. Record low of 11.7 per 1,000 females. That's down 7% since
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2024, 72% since 2007. But it doesn't explain a huge number, well over a quarter of the drop
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in the fertility rate. The births to women in their 20s have declined. Rates for women in their
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30s and 40s have risen modestly. This is the women, the consequence of feminism where these
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women are told, it's not even totally their fault. They're told from the time they're in
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kindergarten that they should put off having children, put off getting married, prioritize
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having a career, prioritize going to college, and then get that graduate degree, get another
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graduate degree, go work for Mr. McGillicuddy in the Excel spreadsheet factory, and then when you're
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40, then try to have a kid. But the problem is that, okay, even if the rates for the 40-year-olds
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are ticking up a little bit, it's just not enough to make up for the decline everywhere else.
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What are the patterns here? Women are delaying having kids, and then a lot of them are not
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having kids at all. So you get a little tick up after COVID. People had a lot of pent up energy
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after COVID, but the trajectory is just a collapse. So what do they find in this study?
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What do they find in the overall state of our births? Quote, overall, we found evidence that
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many young adults are experiencing a dating recession during their prime dating years.
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So it's not just a birth rate recession. It's not even just a marriage recession that they're
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putting off getting married. They're not even dating. The kids and the young adults are not
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even dating. Most young adults are not dating much, and many are struggling with significant
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barriers to initiating dating relationships and pursuing their desire to one day marry and have
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a family. What percentage of young adults do you think are dating right now? With all the weird
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sex stuff, especially during the transgender craze and with all the pride movements, you would think
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that everybody's just hooking up all the time. It's not true. Less than one in three young adults
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is dating, is even dating. The vast majority of young adults are not even going on dates.
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The real number is 30%. And that's not even just like going steady, pinning the varsity pin on
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your sweetheart, even casual dating, even like hookups and situationships, totally collapsed,
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which really upends the view that a lot of boomers and older people have of the kids who they think
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are all just like total sex freaks and polycules having orgies all the time. They're not even doing
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that. It would be bad if they were doing that, but this is actually somehow worse in some ways
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at the population level. It is actually worse. They're not even dating. So this is quite noteworthy
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because you would say, all right, well, maybe the young adults, they just don't have any libido.
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Maybe they don't have any interest. Maybe they're too selfish. Maybe they're just,
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they're content not to be dating. Maybe they're asexual or eunuchs or something, but it's not
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that. Most young adults say that they want to start a relationship. 51% of adults, according
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to at least this survey, which is based on a lot of data, say they want to be in a relationship,
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and yet only 30% of young adults are even casually dating.
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They say, why is it, there's this obvious delta
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when it comes to love and marriage and all that
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The top reason that young people are not dating
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The second reason is bad dating experiences in the past.
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but they speak to different problems that you have.
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Because one thing, when you talk to Zoomers,
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I travel around to a lot of college campuses.
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And one thing you hear from the guys in particular
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an OnlyFans girl. I said, Michael, you boomer. You caught the last chopper out of Nam when you
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married sweet little Elisa. But for us, all the dating is on the apps and we live our whole lives
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on these apps. And there are girls in my high school who are on OnlyFans and I don't want to
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date a girl who's an online prostitute. And I kind of get it. That's real. That's a real thing.
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And then for the girls, they say these guys, they're just messing around. They're not mature.
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They're not interested in getting jobs or settling down or what have you.
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I think we talked about it on the show, which is that for the first time ever, you had more
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high school senior boys looking forward to getting married than high school senior girls.
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The high school girls are supposed to be kicking their legs back on their bed at night, writing
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out their first name with the last name of their crush. Mrs. Jane Smith in signing it. And that's
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not happening. Now you have the guys who are more interested in getting married than the girls,
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really bizarre. More than half of the people who were responding to the survey agreed that
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their breakups have made them more reluctant to begin new romantic relationships. And this kind
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of ties in with the, I don't want to date an OnlyFans girl, which is, I've talked to young
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men about this. They say, it's hard for me to get past the fact that these girls that I would date
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have a high body count. These girls that I would date have had a lot of relationships and they're
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not just going up and watching a drive-in movie or something. They're getting down to business
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and that's icky and I don't want that. Furthermore, think about the girls.
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so many of these girls are have have been in sort of bad relationships or whatever and then it's
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the more guys they date the harder it is for them to to date and eventually some of them become
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lesbians though that's a topic i don't know if we're ready for that yet that's a topic for another
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time in any case what this is speaking to is a very basic uh fact of anthropology which we learn
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in the bible and which anyone with any kind of spiritual sense is known for all of history which
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is that when you have sex with someone, it's about more than just physicality. It's not just
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bumping uglies. Christians believe that a kind of spiritual bond is formed, and the two become
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one flesh. I was just speaking about this with my friend, Father Dan Rehill,
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who's a Catholic priest here in Nashville and an exorcist. So it's not just a psychological hangup.
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A girl has a bad breakup, and so it's harder to get over that ex-boyfriend, and it's hard to get
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in the mood for another relationship or whatever. There is a spiritual reality to that as well that
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a lot of people roll their eyes at in liberal modernity because we don't believe in spiritual
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things anymore, but it is real. On top of that, everyone's dating online. And so I think the chief
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criticism when it comes to modern dating is that everyone's too materialistic. They're just
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concerned about the flesh. They don't recognize things like the spiritual nature of love. They
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don't recognize the sacramental reality of marriage. They're too material in our materialistic
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view of the world. And I think actually that what the data show, and I don't think I've heard
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anyone else say this, what the data shows the problem for the dating recession is exactly the
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According to SSRS polls, 37% of U.S. adults have ever used a dating site or app.
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six to seven percent are currently using one. This is obviously much higher among young adults.
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The majority of young adults have tried the apps. I got the last chopper out of Nam,
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so I was never on the apps. But 51 to 65 percent of 18 to 29-year-olds have tried the apps.
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And the apps sometimes do lead to marriage. It's not just all hookups. I've been to
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weddings of people who met on the apps. 27 percent of couples who married last year,
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two years ago, first met through dating apps and websites. Okay, so then what's the problem?
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What's really driving it? I think the answer is not too much materialism. Like the church ladies
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will scold you, like the boomers will scold you. I think it's actually too little materialism. I
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think that the dating recession, you understand the whole thing when you realize the role of apps
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in all of this. Because one, it means that you're dating effectively mediated by a device. So you're
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dating is not driven by the look and touch of your loved one. It's not how your loved one
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smells. I don't know, whatever, you know, like Joe Biden style, smell the hair. It's all kind
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of virtual. It's all clinical. It's all at a distance. It doesn't make use of your whole
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person, which is your body. So that leads into the confidence issue. Everything is so in your
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face and the internet is forever. So it's harder to get past older relationships because you've
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posting pictures of your boyfriend or girlfriend for years for everybody to see. Maybe, and very
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likely if you're a Zoomer, you've sent untoward photographs, which are going to live forever on
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the end. And that, it's natural for a guy or a girl to not want to date someone who's got a bunch
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of nude pics floating around and pictures of them dating other people all around the internet.
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That's sort of natural too. The real problem for the dating recession is not too much materialism.
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And I think there's a really simple way to correct this.
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Do you know the main thing marriage is about?
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Viewer discretion if you've got young kids watching right now.
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That's the thing that distinguishes it from other unions.
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Marriage, in other words, is a union of a man and a woman
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ordered toward the procreation and education of children for life. It's a lifelong union.
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That's what distinguishes it from all the other kinds of relationships. And so it's not that
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complicated. And if marriage is about sex, that means that dating has to take place in person.
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It has to be about the body. It's not just about the body. You're not just going out to find that
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little baddie at the club. You're not just measuring the height of the giga chad if you're
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chick. There's more to it too, but it is largely about the body. So if you're spending all of your
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time on apps, texting each other, swiping right, sending even pictures, which has more to do with
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the body, but it's still just glittering images, you're setting yourself up for failure. And you're
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creating all sorts of impediments to your future relationship and to your marriage. This is the
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problem. It's not just when you're dating online virtually with all the pictures and all the
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texts and everything, you are in a way robbing your future spouse of something. If your future
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spouse knows that these things are going to be all around the internet. And furthermore,
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you are not actually testing the things that marriage is about because you should not be
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married over the phone. So you have to do it in person. This ties in with this other social
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scientific study that came out just a few months ago, which is that teenagers are drinking less,
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and everyone thought this was a great thing, but it's actually a very bad thing.
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People shouldn't be drinking underage, I guess, but the problem is that's an indicator of
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socializing. The reason that they're not drinking is not because they're the new temperance movement.
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The reason they're not drinking is because they're not hanging out, because they're just
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chilling on their own all the time. So this relates to other problems of socialization.
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It means that even guys are not spending enough time with guys. So they don't even know how to
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behave like men, which means that they're not going to be that confident when they're approaching
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women. Same thing goes for women. This is one of the chief challenges of our entire age. It
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explains the transgender phenomenon. It explains the alienation and isolation and the dating
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recession. We're not doing stuff in person. And so my, the love doctor's recommendation
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is that if you want to turn these numbers around, one, there's legitimately a role for the government
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in this. And there's certainly a role for the families in limiting screen time and all that
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stuff for kids and teenagers. There's a role of self-discipline, which is that you have to go put
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yourself out there in person. How many countless emails and messages to the mailbag have I gotten
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saying it's so hard for me to date from women from men and they say i went to my church but
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there's no one at my church okay then you got to go somewhere other than your church you've got to
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go out there in person even if you're going to use the apps because most young people are on the apps
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you can't you should have like four texts and then you need to go get a drink together or go
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get dinner or something but you got to move it off the platform okay and when you do that you
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are posting their best moves to pick up chicks.
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so we have a little healthy dose of Riz ourselves.
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of how to RizMax and find yourself a sweet honey.
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years after the heyday of the pickup artists gen z has taken up that trend they call it
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riz maxing they are trying pickup artist moves at local social spots and naturally posting them
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to tiktok so i am very concerned about the collapse in marriage rates in young people
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not getting together the decline of love and so the love doctor has taken his seat we are going
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to diagnose all of the issues here and adjudicate the very best gen z riz maxers excuse me if you
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can make me laugh you can get my number oh my god you what you could get my number here you could
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put your number in. Okay. Love it. 10 out of 10. I, you know, I would, in my, in my youth,
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I would have been a little more, a little more subtle probably. But you know what I really love
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about that move is it doesn't insult the woman. A lot of the pickup artist types, I think they
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called it negging. They would, they said the way to pick up a woman is to insult her. And I find
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that wrong in itself and a kind of slimy and just not, it's not a good way to start a relationship
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and a love affair. So what I love about this is it's kind of wholesome. It's just a kind of,
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it's a little bit of a goofy joke. And then it inverts expectations, subverts and even inverts
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expectations, which is funny, right? Because it's incongruous. And it kind of works. It displays
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confidence, which is chiefly what women want. And it is funny, which is the other thing women want.
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Confidence and funny will win out over looks.
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Do not underestimate confidence and a decent sense of humor.
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Kendall. Wow, okay, that diddle. I don't know, is this a setup or is that real?
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That one might have been real. I started out hating that one because it was just a cheesy line,
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and you don't actually want to do a cheesy line. People joke about cheesy pickup lines,
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but you don't actually want to use them. That's really lame, and it speaks to a lack of confidence,
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really. It's an insecurity. But it was the second part that added it because it was, in fact,
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the whole cheesy pickup line was just a setup for the second part, which is to show desperation.
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I remember, especially in the early days of this show,
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people would write in, young guys would write in and say,
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it was probably before the word riz was popular.
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And I said, well, one thing that you got to do,
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just like, get up, get up, get up, get up, get up.
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hey, you, you're the most beautiful girl in the world.
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But it would be easier and better for all of us
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It's so over the top that women, I think, prefer it.
0.99
00:26:57.580
What is up, my Sigmas, Alphas, and Gooners?
1.00
00:27:00.320
today we are picking up chicks step one hit her with a pickup line where'd you get that
1.00
00:27:06.760
what that smile thank you if she's laughing at your pickup line she definitely wants you
1.00
00:27:15.580
if she's not she's playing hard to get she still definitely wants you step three get her number
0.54
00:27:21.500
can i get your like phone number i would totally give you my phone number because that's the best
00:27:26.980
that anybody has ever picked me up but i have a boyfriend so i can't however that effort was like
00:27:32.640
the best i've ever seen from any guy ever so you should go do that to somebody else who isn't taken
00:27:36.580
please go do it to somebody it would make somebody's day it made my day and i'm i'm taken
00:27:41.940
and it made my day all right well you look good yeah i'm ben ben nice to meet you wow it's sad
00:27:47.740
how it ended there i okay fine it was a funny bit okay the the thing that would have really
00:27:54.200
made it if he could call up these you know step three step four whatever and if he called if she
00:27:58.880
says she has a boyfriend boyfriend yeah like that would have really made even if he's not even if
00:28:06.960
she's telling the truth and he says goodbye like that would have made it a really that would have
00:28:11.880
really landed it but yeah it's too too bad for him though she didn't say she has a husband she
00:28:22.640
didn't even say she has a fiance. She said she has a boyfriend. And there's an old expression,
00:28:29.200
an ancient Chinese proverb, which is that. Next one.
00:28:52.640
sure wow these are i was expecting way worse riz that's a great bit too
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wow it's just i guess the key to it is subverting expectations if you're going to do it in this kind
00:29:12.160
of funny way there are other ways to do it i mean these are all performances for social media so
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they all kind of have to be over the top and how funny they are but you know the main way
00:29:53.360
for saying you only pick up girls during the day.
00:30:00.740
you know, they're waiting for guys to hit on them.
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but you got to get them when their guard is down.
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And there's no better way to get their guard down
0.99
00:30:50.120
that seems significant somehow that was good that was a good one but if i were like an 18 year old
00:30:54.840
kid single and i wanted to pick up a girl that one is goofy and cheeky enough that i might actually
00:31:01.540
try it like i wouldn't do the one where you're playing the that's too elaborate the one where
00:31:05.240
you're playing the message as a pickup artist step one do this i wouldn't do that that's too much
00:31:09.640
but that one hey i'll tell you i'll make you a deal all right because it the other thing that
00:31:14.060
that does is it establishes a traditional framework whereby the man is pursuing and
0.65
00:31:20.340
the woman is pursued, which feminists say they don't like, but all women really like that to
00:31:25.880
some degree at least, unless they're just totally lost. So it establishes that, even if the girl
0.71
00:31:32.720
might be interested, it establishes that framework, which is good. It's traditional and based, and
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and that's what everyone should expect throughout all of human history.
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i love my friend i love you alive you're so good when you're breathing mike
00:32:18.640
okay this is a little different first of all we do not encourage fornication we do not it's not
00:32:26.760
the whole thing around this i don't really like that much and it's too contrived because it was
00:32:32.840
she was obviously eager to do that it was all just kind of a setup but it does raise the question
00:32:38.800
of wingmanning and a wingman can be very helpful i've wingman many a time because i you know if i
00:32:46.360
had a girlfriend i'm not going to go out pick up the chicks so i'm going to be the wingman and it's
00:32:50.260
kind of fun you get a little fun the chase is three quarters of the fun they say you know so
00:32:54.840
being involved it's okay it's all right but that involves another person and let's say the wingman
00:33:00.460
is single then you know that's what's the point of that you know then that guy's getting the short
00:33:04.060
end of the stick okay next one just trying to make sure you get home safe excuse me miss miss
00:33:08.900
excuse me hello hello sorry for scaring you there's a really weird guy going around and
00:33:13.500
recording you just watch out just watch out please be careful okay thank you yo what's up bro bro
00:33:19.560
listen like my sister just got back into the town i'm trying to like get a video of her like
00:33:24.160
of me saying hi to you to her can you record her to me yeah i have to leave in a few minutes but
00:33:28.380
eyebrow she's right there that's him oh my gosh that's him whoa well why are you recording her
00:33:35.580
bro what i never said it bro is it the same guy you were talking about yes that's him excuse me
00:33:41.660
sir can you please leave can you walk me to the car i'm scared like i'm actually scared i'm actually
00:33:45.260
can you walk me to the car yes i can hug you too so if you please yeah it's okay yeah it's okay
00:33:49.740
oh maybe like that too what's your name arena then you want me to meet you yeah i'm an amazing
00:34:06.360
That's obviously totally staged and contrived, right?
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It's like they're making a meal out of a cupcake.
00:34:23.980
So, my homeboy right here, he thought you were kind of cute.
00:34:27.980
Could I ask him real quick what he was trying to say?
00:34:56.140
I've never seen that one where you just pretend to be severely demented.
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All of them really, this is the whole point of a pickup line,
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is that a pickup line is not meant to deceive someone.
00:35:15.640
On the surface, you're going in asking some other question or some other favor,
00:35:19.440
but really you're just trying to get her number to go on a date.
00:35:23.340
it's meant to establish a social convention whereby the woman in modesty can accede to
00:35:30.860
her actual attraction to an interest in the guy. That's actually what it's about. It's a social
00:35:34.840
convention to preserve modesty while allowing people to come together. And that is just a
00:35:41.040
funnier version of that, where it's like she doesn't think that he's actually demented,
00:35:44.560
and it's just like a funny, it's a funny excuse. And the one girl was not attracted to him,
00:35:48.980
the other one clearly was so she took the number okay or gave him the number that's well done
00:35:53.980
gen z generally speaking well done all right that's our show good luck riz masters giga chad
00:36:00.420
kings i'm michael noles this is the michael noles show see you next time