The Michael Knowles Show - December 30, 2025


＂I Shouldn't Laugh At This＂ Michael Knowles REACT To Horrible TikToks


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

142.02357

Word count

1,217

Sentence count

221

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Toxicity

41

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Tee Hee Tuesday is back with a brand new episode featuring Professor Jacob, Michaela May, and the Crimson Prep. They discuss the Black Guy incident, the new pool table, and more. Plus, a special guest joins the boys to talk about the new Jetsu Holiday offer.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.600 Hey, give it back! 0.99
00:00:01.980 It's a slob, but it's funny. 1.00
00:00:03.400 You are broke, Susan! 0.99
00:00:05.340 It's like criminal assault. 0.93
00:00:07.640 The black guy thing, it could have been, it was like a little... 0.98
00:00:10.360 Is there another one or no?
00:00:11.440 No.
00:00:11.960 Okay, it's Tee Hee Hee Tuesday.
00:00:15.000 Who's playing?
00:00:16.040 It's your boy, Professor Jacobs, Mysterious Michaela May, and the Crimson Prep.
00:00:20.140 Okay, take it away.
00:00:23.600 And man, you have got to test out this new pool table.
00:00:26.860 Yeah, you are going down!
00:00:30.000 Where's the black ball?
00:00:33.020 Uh, it is a pool table.
00:00:36.060 It probably dropped...
00:00:37.240 Hey, buddy.
00:00:43.860 Ready?
00:00:45.380 Don't ever be!
00:00:46.860 In three, two, one! 0.93
00:00:49.320 Oh! 0.60
00:00:51.180 We just tear it! 0.90
00:00:56.260 It's a slob, but it's funny. 1.00
00:01:00.880 Did you know, women have a hard time choosing where to eat, because the last time they did, 1.00
00:01:05.340 they doomed all of humanity.
00:01:12.000 So, where did you train, Ringuini?
00:01:15.280 Train?
00:01:15.880 Uh, no, I hate that one so much.
00:01:27.200 Is there another one or no?
00:01:28.220 No.
00:01:28.760 No, okay.
00:01:29.340 I would say, I would say, it's between the black, the pool ball, and, uh...
00:01:35.560 Don't count on it!
00:01:37.160 You know what?
00:01:38.340 I always...
00:01:39.940 I don't give it to the AI slop a lot.
00:01:41.840 Let's give it to the AI slop. 0.92
00:01:43.120 The fat guy making the crater.
00:01:45.300 What do you think it was? 0.81
00:01:47.900 It was Edgy Boy.
00:01:52.660 It was your boy.
00:01:53.480 It was, yeah.
00:01:54.260 It was good.
00:01:54.880 It was good.
00:02:05.940 You've got to be kidding me!
00:02:07.280 Give me those!
00:02:08.660 Ow! 1.00
00:02:09.180 Let go! 0.99
00:02:10.160 Hey, give it back! 0.99
00:02:12.020 No!
00:02:13.440 Back in it!
00:02:14.480 Mine! 0.99
00:02:15.920 Yeah, run. 0.98
00:02:16.940 The first version of that was funnier with the didgeridoo.
00:02:19.520 That one is trying to go home again.
00:02:21.760 You can't...
00:02:28.760 It's never just allergies.
00:02:37.440 Nothing beats a Jetsu holiday.
00:02:41.160 And right now, you can save £50 per person.
00:02:44.880 That's £200 off for a family of four.
00:02:47.180 We've got millions of free chelplains...
00:02:52.180 With 22 kills...
00:02:55.180 Dude, that's...
00:02:59.180 That's like...
00:03:00.180 Criminal assault.
00:03:02.460 Dude, my DNA test just came in.
00:03:04.020 Look at this.
00:03:04.600 You're 1% African? 0.80
00:03:05.640 Yes!
00:03:06.020 I'm black, bro! 0.92
00:03:06.880 You're not black. 1.00
00:03:07.720 Okay, it says 1%. 0.73
00:03:08.780 You guys ready to order?
00:03:09.540 I'll take the fried chicken, collard greens, and a Hennessy.
00:03:12.340 Whoa! 0.71
00:03:12.740 Why did you order that and change your inflection?
00:03:14.780 I am so sorry.
00:03:15.820 Sorry.
00:03:16.080 Yeah, that would've ordered the same thing.
00:03:18.200 Spoken like a true brother.
00:03:19.180 Yeah.
00:03:20.520 He's not a brother.
00:03:21.580 He's white.
00:03:21.960 What was that? 0.97
00:03:22.500 You white folks wouldn't understand. 0.98
00:03:24.580 It's a black thing. 0.98
00:03:25.580 You're not black. 1.00
00:03:27.220 Since when did you listen to gangster rap? 1.00
00:03:28.660 Oh, s***. 0.99
00:03:29.220 We getting pulled over. 0.99
00:03:30.020 Stop talking like that. 0.97
00:03:30.720 I know this is hard for you to understand, because you're not a black man like me. 0.90
00:03:33.180 But I need you to follow all of the officers' instructions. 0.97
00:03:34.980 You're white. 1.00
00:03:35.540 Oh, s***. 1.00
00:03:35.940 We close, play cool. 0.98
00:03:36.880 License registration?
00:03:37.760 Yeah.
00:03:38.700 African-American?
00:03:39.560 He's not African-American.
00:03:40.420 You're out of the vehicle.
00:03:41.220 Stop resisting.
00:03:41.860 I'm not resisting. 1.00
00:03:42.420 Oh, s***. 0.99
00:03:42.940 You're out of my order. 1.00
00:03:43.900 I said stop resisting.
00:03:45.980 He's not resisting.
00:03:46.780 I said stop.
00:03:47.460 Oh, my God.
00:03:48.520 And he's back. 0.92
00:03:49.140 Armed African-American. 0.98
00:03:50.320 He's white. 0.70
00:03:51.880 Protests have broken out across the country as another innocent black man has been gunned 0.98
00:03:55.920 down by a white cop.
00:03:57.080 The victim, a 26-year-old African-American, Matthew Johnson.
00:04:00.100 He's not black. 0.99
00:04:01.140 He's white.
00:04:03.560 It was too long. 0.99
00:04:04.940 And the premise that, like, cops shoot innocent black men is completely false. 0.91
00:04:10.760 But it's pretty funny. 0.51
00:04:12.320 What was the one before that?
00:04:13.280 I just want to keep it in my head.
00:04:15.160 The foot assault thing?
00:04:17.160 Oh, that was funny, too.
00:04:18.740 I don't, you know, the black guy thing, it could have been, it was like a little too 1.00
00:04:22.880 much making a meal out of a cupcake.
00:04:24.860 And then you have a sandwich and you don't get frosting up your nose.
00:04:32.620 So I'm going to give it to the just pure slapstick, the guy with the tar paper on his
00:04:38.860 face.
00:04:39.180 That was funny.
00:04:40.300 What do you think it was?
00:04:41.660 I think it was Professor Jacob.
00:04:42.780 That was Professor Jacob.
00:04:43.920 It was.
00:04:44.360 Yeah, I could tell.
00:04:45.060 Yeah.
00:04:45.380 I could tell that.
00:04:46.520 Very simple.
00:04:47.600 Very simple.
00:04:48.360 Very childish.
00:04:49.660 It was funny.
00:04:50.780 Okay, next one.
00:04:56.900 Falling?
00:04:57.520 Look at the monitor and give the full name of this person.
00:05:00.520 That's actor Jason Statham.
00:05:14.720 What it's worth.
00:05:17.640 I think you're doing a great job.
00:05:19.340 We got Susan from Little Rock, Arkansas.
00:05:21.740 How are you doing, Susan?
00:05:22.360 Hi, Mr. Ramsey.
00:05:23.360 I'm good.
00:05:23.820 How are you?
00:05:24.440 Better than I deserve.
00:05:25.560 What's up?
00:05:26.040 So we have $10,000 in student loan debts.
00:05:28.340 Good gosh.
00:05:29.620 It's not every day we talk to a neurosurgeon.
00:05:32.200 I assume that's what you have to be to have that kind of debt, Susan.
00:05:34.540 No, I'm a teacher and my husband's a comedian.
00:05:37.560 So we're just...
00:05:38.300 Our question today is should we do a daycare that costs $15,000 a year or $18,000?
00:05:42.860 No, you're broke.
00:05:44.040 You are broke, Susan.
00:05:46.160 You are poor.
00:05:47.180 Poor.
00:05:47.560 Everyone out of the studio.
00:05:49.060 Poor.
00:05:49.800 Poor.
00:05:50.480 Poor.
00:05:51.140 Poor.
00:05:51.740 Poor.
00:05:52.480 Beans and rice.
00:05:53.700 Susan?
00:05:54.260 Mr. Ramsey, can we still go on our anniversary trip?
00:05:57.240 We paid for it in points.
00:05:58.660 Points?
00:05:59.060 I got a few points for you, Susan.
00:06:00.900 Point one. 1.00
00:06:01.520 You're stupid. 1.00
00:06:02.720 Eat. 1.00
00:06:03.280 Point two.
00:06:03.980 See.
00:06:04.320 Point one.
00:06:05.300 Point three. 1.00
00:06:06.040 I'm about to hang up on your broke ass. 1.00
00:06:08.040 What I do, throw away your phone, burn it, throw it in the backyard where your kids are 1.00
00:06:12.340 tied up because you're down to poor daycare. 0.99
00:06:14.700 Bro.
00:06:15.000 Bro.
00:06:15.540 Bro.
00:06:16.340 Bro.
00:06:16.840 Bro.
00:06:17.160 Bro.
00:06:17.560 Bro.
00:06:17.960 Bro.
00:06:18.160 Bro.
00:06:18.560 We got another caller.
00:06:19.820 Jason from San Francisco.
00:06:22.160 How you doing, buddy?
00:06:22.660 David!
00:06:23.360 Okay, don't be mad, but I want to buy a townhouse and I have $9 million in debt.
00:06:26.940 Oh, go.
00:06:27.760 Jump off the gold.
00:06:29.060 Go to Gay Bridge. 0.96
00:06:30.140 Poor.
00:06:31.840 Yeah, it went on too long.
00:06:33.660 It's funny.
00:06:34.500 It was close, but it just went on too long.
00:06:36.780 Hold on one second.
00:06:37.820 Go to jeremysrazors.com.
00:06:39.120 The best deals of the year are live right now.
00:06:40.560 Jeremy's Razors.
00:06:41.280 You can score up to 50% off.
00:06:43.280 Now's the time to stock up.
00:06:44.560 You want a full year of shaving?
00:06:46.340 $49.99.
00:06:47.260 That's it.
00:06:47.640 No games.
00:06:48.220 No virtue signals.
00:06:49.180 Just an excellent razor that works.
00:06:51.620 If you're ordering over $100, free shipping.
00:06:54.020 These razors are built for men who don't back down.
00:06:56.040 Guys who show up, work hard, and refuse to cave to the nonsense.
00:06:59.700 Go to jeremysrazors.com right now.
00:07:01.720 Deals expire soon.
00:07:03.000 Do not wait.
00:07:04.180 jeremysrazors.com.
00:07:05.420 Oh, it's just white people. 0.91
00:07:24.280 It took me a minute.
00:07:25.300 Yeah, it's kind of funny.
00:07:52.760 That's all of them?
00:07:56.040 That's all of them.
00:07:56.580 That was a week around.
00:07:57.720 I was talking to Sweeta Lelise about that. 0.53
00:07:59.860 Like, I wanted the AI to fix our Christmas card picture, and it just can't.
00:08:04.300 It just doesn't know.
00:08:05.000 It's not taking our jobs.
00:08:06.700 So, I guess, what were the first two?
00:08:09.400 Jason Statham as Hitler, and then Dave Ramsey in Prussia.
00:08:12.500 I'll go for Hitler. 1.00
00:08:13.280 I know it's Hitler. 0.93
00:08:14.440 There's nothing very cool about Hitler. 0.97
00:08:16.560 It was simple.
00:08:17.220 It was, like, fast.
00:08:18.000 It was simple.
00:08:18.360 It was kind of funny.
00:08:19.260 What do you think it was?
00:08:20.200 That was Michaela Mann.
00:08:21.280 You're right.
00:08:21.760 Oh, man.
00:08:23.520 We did terrible, but you were dead on today.
00:08:25.560 You like that?
00:08:26.220 Okay.
00:08:26.700 I'm Michael Knowles.
00:08:27.440 This is the Michael Knowles Show.
00:08:29.760 War.
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