Lesbians & Dad Bods： Real Answer and Real Drinks ｜ YES or NO with Andrew Klavan
Episode Stats
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Summary
Former White House correspondent Andrew Klavan joins the Daily Wire to talk about what it's like to be a White House Correspondent, and why he thinks Michelle Obama has more balls than Lance Armstrong. Plus, a look back at how Andrew and Michael first met.
Transcript
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Michelle Obama has more balls than Lance Armstrong.
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Long before the Daily Wire ever existed, I was drinking with Andrew Klavan.
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I should warn you when I drink in the middle of the day.
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Well, then you've got to make sure that you get the questions right.
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Because the rules are, if you get the question right, you get to drink.
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And if you get the question wrong, you have to.
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You will move my glass to whichever answer you think I would give.
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And by the way, we might want to let the audience in on something here.
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I would say, like, I've forgotten who I am now.
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Then you'll go and we'll go back and forth until we're lying on the floor.
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Michael Knowles peaked when he was the cultural correspondent on The Andrew Klavan Show.
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I peaked when I became an international cigar salesman.
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I thought that was the only thing you've ever done that entertained me in any way, shape,
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And I was thinking the other day of how that all began.
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The way you did it was because I had seen a movie that weekend called Sausage Party about a cartoon hot dog.
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And you asked me to come on the show to talk about aforementioned cartoon hot dog.
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I actually put you on the show because you were good.
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Michelle Obama has more balls than Lance Armstrong.
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The only way to save the country is to get married and bang your wife, but only in that
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I want you to know, I want you to know, I did a book thing for my book, The House of
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I did a thing at the mysterious bookshop, and it was packed.
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And people kept coming up to me, guys kept coming up to me with their pregnant wife
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I thought, I'm glad you figured out how to do it.
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You're generally right, but there's one exception, which is religious vocation.
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We also need monks and nuns, and I want to get a point on the board.
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I want to be very clear on a religious technicality.
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I was going to say, outside the Vatican, you know.
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Well, what we're going to end up having to do...
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I mean, not us, because of the wives and the kids and everything.
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But it's going to be like Benedict running off to the hills.
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You know, the hinterlands, when all of the institutions are flooded with madness.
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To quote Hilaire Belloc, I have to take it as a matter of faith that the church is divinely
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One proof for the non-believer is that no other institution conducted with such knavish
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Could be played by a black guy, and it wouldn't change the character or story.
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But Andrew made him a cis-white guy for some reason.
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The character in the House of Love and that Mike book that you're supposed to be by.
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He would be a Latina woman if you were to make the Disney movie.
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You know, a producer called me up just two days ago and asked me if the movie rights were...
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I didn't want to just say to him, like, you know, I'm not signing anything until he's white.
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So he called you, which means that when he hung up the phone, is that when he decided to Google you?
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And he just got this kind of little embarrassed kind of pout on his face.
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Well, it's nice to receive exactly one phone call about the movie rights to your book.
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My agent, who was a far left guy, no longer my agent, but he read this book.
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You have an idea what you're imitating, but it's not the real thing.
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I didn't know if there was some deep esoteric, you were going to convert Swim the Tiber on this show.
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No, I actually believe that the church is universal.
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My particular church, which has about 15 people.
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That one will be lumped into the ordinary at some point sooner or later anyway.
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By the way, we're going to heal the East-West-ism.
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Someone will eventually leak the Jeffrey Epstein client list.
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I mean, the rest of the Jeffrey Epstein client list.
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Someone will eventually leak the Jeffrey Epstein client list.
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It has been 60 years since the JFK assassination.
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Oh, maybe they were doing some surveillance on Lee Harvey Oswald.
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Well, first of all, Lee Harvey Oswald was killed by a communist.
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And then Lee Harvey Oswald was killed by one...
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We didn't want to tell him that they'd been giving the guy money or something like that.
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I assume Jeffrey Epstein was mobbed up with intelligence.
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Will the intelligence agencies allow that information out?
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We really don't know, like, what this guy was doing.
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I actually read James Patterson's book on the thing.
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But he gives people credit for writing them, you know?
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I read it, and it didn't tell you anything except, like, you know...
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And there's only, like, five things you can do anyway.
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It's really, actually, just three and five together.
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Why is it that Harvey Weinstein and Jeffrey Epstein both had deformed genitalia?
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Is that something that, like, makes you want to, like, abuse underage girls?
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But it came out in the Harvey Weinstein court docs that he is vaguely hermaphroditic.
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I mean, again, the intersex and her hermaphroditism is kind of overstated.
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But I noticed the pro-trans left kind of went real mum about that one.
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Pay no attention to the man behind the orange jumpsuit.
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I mean, Harvey Weinstein I don't think is as weird as Jeffrey Epstein.
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And the fact that he could be murdered, like, that is a story out of Suetonius, out of ancient
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The fact that he could be murdered in a facility, a safe facility, a max security facility.
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With cameras and guards and supposedly a cellmate.
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And all Hillary needed was the Groucho glasses.
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You can be a good Christian and actively support the full official Democratic Party platform.
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I mean, I think virtually every self-identified Christian is on board with this.
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But also, if you're Catholic, the popes have been pretty clear.
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I just don't understand how you can call yourself an actual Christian.
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The right to life is not just one right among many.
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I think these days, you know, they're going to build an idol to Osama Bin Laden soon enough.
00:16:13.000
Well, not only that, they may actually be, like, worshipping Satan.
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A little tough to include that in your Christian liturgy.
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Tessa was far less attractive before Jen, you saw.
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There's no way to answer this in a way that doesn't get us in trouble.
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Either we're saying that our beloved colleague Tessa is hot, which is going to get us in trouble with HR.
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Or we're going to say that she wasn't hot previously, so we're insulting the woman's looks.
00:17:01.000
Now, also, one way you answer will make our advertiser really happy.
00:17:15.000
So, and the question was, or the statement was, Tessa was less-
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Tessa was far less attractive before Jen, you saw.
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She was far less attractive because, because, Drew, Jen Yacel came on right around the time that Tessa got married.
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She became all the more beautiful, actually, when she was married.
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Well, in any case, I'll drink to forget the question.
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It is more likely that the great pyramids of Giza predate the flood and were built by Nephilim,
00:19:32.000
or with other supernatural direction, than that the prevailing narrative pushed by the experts is true.
00:19:41.000
You made me, you were so confident in mine that I...
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If you told me that the pyramids are 50,000 years old, I would believe you.
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If you told me that the pyramids were built by pagan civilizations just worshiping demons,
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and the demons actively guiding their hands, I would believe you.
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I would be much more likely to believe you than if you told me, you know, they had like
00:20:42.000
They had a bunch of slaves pulling, like, Jewish guys.
00:21:03.000
And I have to say that I'm shocked that we're actually keeping score.
00:21:12.000
To more emphatically push back on the woke nonsense in Disney's upcoming live action Snow
00:21:20.000
Jeremy should go all the way against political correctness and title it Snow White and the
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Is midgets the least politically correct word for a little person?
00:21:34.000
No, because a dwarf and a midget are two different things.
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One is a short person and the other is a short person but is kind of malformed.
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One has sort of ordinary proportions and one is...
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I think it should be called Snow White and the Seven White Guys.
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Snow White and the Seven Perfectly Ordinary Straight White Men.
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In fact, it should just be called White White and the White White White.
00:22:40.000
Michael Knowles embracing the dad bod in his early 30s.
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Embracing the dad bod in his early 30s is disgusting and disordered.
00:22:51.000
It's kind of like if Michelangelo saw a marble block and said,
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ah, let's just slap some pasta and whiskey on it.
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I'm trying to think about what I think about this.
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One, I think it's weird that men obsess over their physique like women.
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So, men, like gym rat men I think actually are a little too vain and somewhat womanish.
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But, the old ancient Greeks, they understood that virtue is not merely an intellectual endeavor.
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And if I really were interested in full arete, I would lift a weight every now and again.
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I have to say that especially some of us, those of us who have aged, it is a good thing to stay in shame.
00:24:15.000
Because it suppresses the appetite so I don't become a big fat guy.
00:24:24.000
I was talking to your son, no relation to you, Spencer Clavin.
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And he told me that he believes we will live to see a day when nicotine is looked on as a health substance.
00:24:37.000
What contradicts him is after the discovery of America where they started to send home tobacco,
00:24:50.000
Isn't that correlation is not, I'm starting to realize correlation is causation, obviously.
00:25:02.000
Allowing attractive women into the workplace is more dangerous than letting a pit bull babysit your toddler.
00:25:11.000
Well, you're, you're pretty outspoken against pit bulls, too.
00:25:24.000
I, I assume we're violating a lot of NLRB statutes here, but it's, it's not good for anybody.
00:25:28.000
I don't think women should be in the workplace at all.
00:25:33.000
Until, you know, maybe for like a year before they get married.
00:25:42.000
Like this, this thing where they come back to work after they have children.
00:25:48.000
And, and by the way, eventually your children grow up.
00:25:56.000
I'm not, I'm not opposed to, but, but you're so right.
00:25:57.000
Like for, for what I've, for every fictional story I hear of a woman who really just wanted
00:26:03.000
she, her dream was to make widgets and she was kept from that by the patriarchy.
00:26:06.000
I have so many female friends who got lured into all the BS, put your career first.
00:26:13.000
And, and, and, you know, then they say own, they despair.
00:26:19.000
You know, I was, I was at my priest's birth birthday party and this woman sat down across
00:26:25.000
me and just started talking to me about her life.
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And she had a baby, a new baby and her husband.
00:26:29.000
And she said, you know, they told me to go to work and then get married as if getting
00:26:33.000
married was easy, as if it were easy to find somebody.
00:26:36.000
And I, you know, like I didn't care about my work at all.
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And they all, you know, why wouldn't you, why wouldn't you?
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The most, how much of work is like, you know, nonsense.
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When, you know, I remember I, I was talking, I guess I was talking to my father-in-law years
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I said, well, what, what thing that you've done are you proud of stuff?
00:26:57.000
And he said, well, my kids, no question, my kids.
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And I thought as a guy in his early twenties, I thought, okay, that's just the pat answer that,
00:27:09.000
And within five seconds, I realized, oh, right, nothing.
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Look, not to downplay my blank book, which is a magnum office and will endure for ages.
00:27:20.000
And those you set on fire and then they turned to ash.
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I'm delivering my manuscript on my book with words, which I really labored over and cared
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And I thought, oh, you're delivering your baby.
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I'm delivering my baby that I've been working on for nine months or really over that, probably
00:27:47.000
And I thought, and I'm not downplaying my book.
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It's our, it's our pale imitation of what they're doing.
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And, and the thing is, I really do feel that because of that, we as men, as a, as a breed
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of people have purposely denigrated what women do.
00:28:12.000
Oh, she's just, she's, you know, they just take care of the house.
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And I was like, all I know is like, go up to a guy who's bigger than you and insult
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You think this is something that matters to people.
00:28:38.000
I've read all three of the Cameron Winter mysteries.
00:28:49.000
I, I think you, I think you've probably read them.
00:28:51.000
Now, in fairness, I have, I have maybe read more Andrew Klavan novels.
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I've certainly, I've willingly read more Andrew Klavan novels than maybe all the novels
00:29:05.000
And I mean, it's not, I'm, you have finished one of my novels.
00:29:17.000
But I, I don't, I just, I'm not saying I hate novels.
00:29:23.000
I just, even great novels, even sometimes for the book club, I, you know, I'm assigned novels.
00:29:27.000
And, and they're, every time I finish a great novel, I think, oh, that was great.
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Every time I finish one of your books, I'm not puffing you up.
00:29:32.000
They're, they're just excellent and they're like beautiful.
00:29:40.000
I've been, I've, I've like teared up at the ends of your books.
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But, and yet still, then I put it down and I say, wow, that was a truly edifying,
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Time to go read some other dry philosophy on nonsense.
00:30:02.000
There's some men, like they don't understand what, if they understood what novels were for.
00:30:08.000
But we're a dumb country, so we don't understand that.
00:30:12.000
But novels actually do, if you read them right, if you read them with a true heart.
00:30:19.000
I did, I just ordered, because when we go out and have a stogie, maybe a couple of Coca-Colas,
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you'll say, you have to read this book or that book.
00:30:42.000
Well, you would like that because it's a really interesting Catholic home.
00:30:52.000
I can do 20 pages of fiction at a time pretty soon, you know.
00:31:00.000
And poetry, because it tricks me, because I think of a poem as like 14 lines.
00:31:05.000
And you get to the end of Dante and you think, goodness gracious.
00:31:18.000
I was trying to compose one right now, like a haiku, but it'll take too long.
00:31:28.000
It is more likely that we will fall into World War III in the next 10 years than not.
00:31:59.000
The term Thucydides trap is overplayed and most international relations jargon is overplayed.
00:32:06.000
But Graham Allison, the Harvard political scientist, makes this case that of the last, however
00:32:13.000
many, 19 or 16 to 20 global conflicts, three quarters of them have ended in war.
00:32:21.000
Meaning when a rising power confronted a dominant power, the consequence, three quarters of the
00:32:35.000
China just recently came out and said, the question is, do you want to be our partner
00:32:43.000
If you want to be our partner, it's a big wide world.
00:32:47.000
If you want to be our adversary and stop us from rising, basically, we're going to go
00:32:52.000
And I think the United States is bellicose, not intentionally so, but we just kind of stumble
00:33:02.000
And so the odds are already so stacked against us.
00:33:07.000
And the civilizations are so different here in the US and China.
00:33:14.000
My argument is that we don't destroy our homes until we leave.
00:33:23.000
And so I think that when the minute Elon Musk sets up a community on Mars, then we'll have
00:33:35.000
Do you think we could have a World War III without blowing the planet to pieces?
00:33:43.000
I mean, because nuclear weapons could be used in such a way that they made the planet unlivable,
00:33:50.000
but they could also be used in such a way that millions die and, you know...
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The nuclear bomb goes off in the whole population.
00:34:01.000
But especially, you know, when you've got the first major war in Europe and Ukraine,
00:34:05.000
then you've got this outbreak of war in the Holy Land that could escalate.
00:34:13.000
And it already involves, what, like six powers or seven powers and maybe more soon.
00:34:37.000
When you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go?
00:34:49.000
Being invaded by pestilence or being bombarded with noise and production issues on a project
00:34:54.000
is a good sign that you are doing something meaningful.
00:35:09.000
When we did Another Kingdom and I felt it was a sort of God-born...
00:35:15.000
The reason I say this is because I was sitting there thinking...
00:35:20.000
And I had the flash that I was going to have to throw it away.
00:35:23.000
And suddenly the entire Another Kingdom story came into my mind at once, which never happened to me before since.
00:35:32.000
And the day that I finished it, that my house was overrun by caterpillars.
00:35:56.000
And I was getting ready to promote it and everything like this.
00:36:02.000
First time that our Lord, alongside John Keats...
00:36:12.000
So that every day I would come in and there would be five, six wasps in the place.
00:36:26.000
I was doing an interview with an exorcist, Father Danny.
00:36:33.000
I was told I was going to have 25 minutes of no audio problems.
00:36:51.000
This goes on three, four, at least four times probably.
00:37:05.000
And I said, okay, next time it happens, just roll.
00:37:17.000
You know, as you and I have often said to one another in the midst of some long conversation
00:37:34.000
In the same way that, like, mental illness and being demon infested are kind of the same
00:37:45.000
I'm not saying that I'm totally confident that they're never separate.
00:38:03.000
It is more beneficial for young men or women to listen to Andrew Tate than read Everyday Feminism.
00:38:18.000
More beneficial for young men or women to listen to Andrew Tate.
00:38:40.000
Because Andrew Tate derives his power from saying something that is true that he dedicates
00:38:48.000
The thing that he says that is true, basically, is that a woman will follow a strong man even
00:38:54.000
if he abuses her before she gives herself to a weakling who pays her all kinds of feminist
00:39:03.000
So somewhere in there is a true thing that he is using...
00:39:07.000
Because when good people lie, the evil people get the truth and that's the power.
00:39:17.000
The only way that could be edifying is if you go in realizing what a joke it is and
00:39:24.000
I used to use it when I had to write four satires a week.
00:39:30.000
Writing four satires a week is the hardest single creative act I've ever done.
00:39:33.000
And sometimes I would just take Everyday Feminism and just read it.
00:39:47.000
Look, I hold out hope that Tate will figure things out.
00:39:57.000
But it reminds me that the greatest saints of history could have been the worst sinners.
00:40:12.000
Like, if a guy goes from being an atheist to being a Muslim to being a Christian.
00:40:17.000
At least, you know, the Muslims know that God exists.
00:40:20.000
As one of them, actually, a town chieftain said to me in Afghanistan, we can talk to the Americans
00:40:32.000
It seems to me, you know, people have different capacities.
00:40:36.000
There are great and, you know, enormously great.
00:40:43.000
And it seems to me that, you know, if one of the worst had...
00:40:47.000
...had just gotten his will and his intellect right, gone in the right direction, he could
00:40:51.000
have been one of the greatest saints of history.
00:40:54.000
I don't know, St. Benedict or somebody could have been one of the worst sinners if he turned
00:41:11.000
I mean, you know, he also lied about that though.
00:41:13.000
He lied and tried to make it seem like he had been doing that much longer ago.
00:41:35.000
But seeing the full capacity of the human person, I think, is actually a good thing.
00:41:59.000
Well, it depends on what the meaning of okay is.
00:42:11.000
No, I can still live a holy life, I hope, and go to heaven someday.
00:42:22.000
Can you think of one other example ever in history?
00:42:29.000
I consider a monarch different than a prime minister or a president.
00:42:37.000
You know, I believe, and this has nothing to do with the capacities of women actually,
00:42:44.000
I believe that when women take over a profession, the profession is over.
00:42:50.000
So when women become anchor women, the TV news doesn't matter.
00:43:05.000
And then they see something new come along and they clear out.
00:43:18.000
It was like the Germans that took the Germans three tries.
00:43:24.000
And then they said, how about a woman canceling?
00:43:33.000
So it's hard to believe, you know, like, but...
00:43:37.000
And we don't have a parliamentary system, which is what it takes to throw up a Churchill
00:43:48.000
And it's really just like, it's sort of like answering, I'd be okay if the Hun invaded
00:43:55.000
My okayness is not contingent on the political circumstances of this fallen world.
00:44:06.000
Casablanca is better than The Godfather, and they could both be improved on if they were
00:44:10.000
written and directed by young black lesbian women of color.
00:44:53.000
If I actually had to pick the greatest movie ever, I would throw in there, mostly because
00:45:11.000
The thing that takes place back at the house is not that big.
00:45:19.000
Maybe throw in The Man Who Shot Liberty Balance.
00:45:26.000
Certainly, I would throw in Gone with the Wind.
00:45:29.000
But I am now of the opinion, other than my favorite movie, me, myself, and Irene, if I
00:45:35.000
Taking, obviously, that masterpiece aside, I might be willing to say that The Godfather,
00:45:46.000
Yeah, I think it's the greatest movie ever made, except for...
00:45:55.000
They could both be improved on if they were written and directed by young black women
00:46:06.000
Because the thing is, young black lesbian women of color do everything better.
00:46:11.000
Because white men are the worst people on earth.
00:46:56.000
I obviously am accepting the anthropological fact that none is good but God.
00:47:04.000
I think relative, so we're talking relative to presidents and politicians.
00:47:08.000
I think, actually, relative to our degraded state of politicians and leaders, I think he's
00:47:16.000
in the upper 50% in terms of his virtue, actually.
00:47:25.000
I think he's run a business, actually, pretty honestly.
00:47:31.000
The one thing about these indictments is they point out that he's never really done anything
00:47:36.000
I mean, the guy was doing real estate in New York.
00:47:41.000
Even in his showbiz career, I think about the evil, hideous things people do in showbiz.
00:47:46.000
He slept with some supermodels, which is like the cost.
00:47:48.000
That's like the first thing you do when you get into big show business.
00:47:52.000
I think I'm not defending all the bad things, but even in his kind of con man-y ways, you
00:48:00.000
know, which have been caricatured so much, there's a kind of honesty to it.
00:48:06.000
Those are not the things that bother me about him.
00:48:07.000
I mean, when he was running the first time, I said, this is the first post-Christian candidate.
00:48:17.000
Which, by the way, was bad politics on top of that.
00:48:24.000
And by the way, you know, he was a womanizer and all this stuff.
00:48:38.000
And they told me, like, that they needed to add paving at the top of the ranch for safety.
00:48:42.000
And he didn't want to do it because he didn't want to spend the public money on his safety.
00:48:49.000
When you go to the ranch, which is pretty cool because it's owned by YAF.
00:48:52.000
And so it even has to be zoned as a private space.
00:48:58.000
And he kept, you know, coffee cans full of old nails and screws.
00:49:04.000
And he, so no, the man obviously had such class and grace.
00:49:09.000
For, even by the standards of his time, but also it was the 80s.
00:49:25.000
We're living in the age of Joe Biden and AOC and Pelosi.
00:49:39.000
For some people, horror films, metal music, or sexually themed art are morally fine to
00:50:00.000
I mean, it shouldn't be pornography, but sexually themed is obviously fine.
00:50:07.000
The exception to me, if it had been an and, my answer probably would have been no.
00:50:39.000
Music generally bypasses the rational faculties.
00:50:45.000
This is why Alan Bloom said don't listen to rock music.
00:51:00.000
I'm with the old fuddy duddies going back to Plato.
00:54:51.000
I'll go further even on the abstract art point.
00:54:56.000
In the sense that I think it speaks into its time.
00:55:12.000
I have absolutely nothing against Taylor Swift.
00:55:30.000
All the women in the office were spending zillions of dollars.
00:55:44.000
It's the most basic relatable girl experience ever.