Michael Knowles Takes the Political Compass Quiz
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Summary
In this episode, Michael takes the Political Compass Test to figure out exactly where he falls on the political spectrum. He's not much of a conservative, but he's not a bad one either, and he's at least willing to take the test.
Transcript
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Hey everybody, Michael here. Have you ever taken the political compass test? This is one of those
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things that goes around the internet and it's really flawed because it tries to put you in a
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box and you can't be put in a box. You're too special for that. But I took it. I took it because
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I have noticed these days, even among conservatives, most conservatives are kind of liberal. You know,
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they kind of agree with liberal premises. So I took the political compass test to figure out
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exactly where I fall. I want to know where you fall. Take a listen and then take the test and
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then let me know where you land. I'm very excited to take the political compass test. It's become
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very popular because people are obsessed with themselves. They don't really care about politics
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or anything. They just want to answer questions about themselves for like 15 or 20 minutes. So
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listen, I'm not better than that. I'll go right in and do it. I remember I saw this test a while ago.
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I remember it was kind of a left-wing thing. Like I didn't agree with all the questions,
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but I guess we'll just have to see. So it's along the left-right line. We know that difference.
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And then there's another axis, which is authoritarian or libertarian, meaning you could
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be a left libertarian. That would be some like free love hippie, right? And then you could be a left
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totalitarian or authoritarian. That would be like Bernie Sanders, whose honeymoons in the Soviet Union.
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Or you could be a right-wing libertarian, which would be sort of like Rand Paul or Ron Paul,
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his father. Or you could be a right-wing authoritarian, which would be like Genghis Khan
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or Attila the Hun. I bet I'm going to be closer to Genghis Khan and Attila the Hun, but we will
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answer the questions and wait and see. First question. If economic globalization is inevitable.
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So right off the bat, we know that this test is just bogus because globalization is not inevitable.
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We proceed. If economic globalization is inevitable, it should primarily serve humanity rather than the
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interests of transnational corporations. Well, to quote Mitt Romney, corporations are people,
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my friend. So it's hard to draw that neat distinction. This is an extremely dumb question.
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But I guess if at the heart of this question is, should economics serve purely abstract ends,
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or should it serve human ends, then it should serve human ends. Very dumb question. So I am going to
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agree. I won't strongly agree, but I'll agree. I'd always support my country whether it was right or
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wrong. Agree. Of course I would. How can your country be wrong? Just like completely, totally
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wrong. It can go through challenging political times. It can have bad or dumb leaders. But your
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country itself is your country. I could no more renounce my country than I could renounce my own
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family. No one chooses his or her country at birth, so it's foolish to be proud of it. Well, it's foolish to
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be proud of everything because pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.
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However, I suspect the way this test is using pride is like affection or loyalty or love of
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country. That's often what people mean when they say national pride. So I will strongly disagree with
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that. Our race has many superior qualities compared with other races. Well, obviously, if we're
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referring to the Sicilians, my swarthy skin would be something. Our ability to knead pasta is a superior
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quality. This is a tricky question because I suspect what they're getting at is civilization or
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culture. Very often you'll hear civilizations referred to as a race. But that's very different
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than the sort of essentialist biological sense of race, which is how we're born. It's difficult to
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know what they're saying. Probably we should err on the side of them writing a very bad question here.
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And since there is neither Jew nor Greek nor slave nor bond in Christ Jesus, I have to vote against
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the apparent racism. I will say that I disagree with that. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Yeah,
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I agree. You know, friend for a time, maybe not your friend forever, but certainly for a time. That's
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how politics works. That's all how human relations work as well. Military action that defies international
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law is sometimes justified. Well, there's no such thing as international law. So I guess I strongly
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agree with that. There is now a worrying fusion of information and entertainment. I strongly disagree
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with that. I love these people. You know, the people who complain about entertainment and
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politics going together as if that hadn't always been the case. If going back to ancient Greece and
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Pericles, when we refer to the greatest, most entertaining orations of all time, we're not
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talking about the most famous politician. How about Abraham Lincoln? You think that guy wasn't
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entertaining? He did a road show with Stephen Douglas. Give me a break. Best presidents of our
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recent history. Ronald Reagan, Hollywood actor, Donald Trump, reality TV host. People are ultimately
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divided more by class than nationality. Strongly disagree. That's what Marx thought. And it turned
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out not to be true. And we saw that play out in the 20th century. Controlling inflation is more
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important than controlling unemployment. Really, you can do two things at one time. You don't need to
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just pick one or the other. But I think at the heart of this question, should we prioritize abstract
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economic concepts or should we prioritize people? And I would probably prioritize people. Now, the argument
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for saying inflation is more important here is because then everybody's property diminishes in
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value. But the argument for saying unemployment is the bigger issue is that people are made to work.
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From the moment that our first father, Adam, was in the Garden of Eden, he had a job to do. He was
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naming the creatures. He was gardening. Then he gets kicked out of the garden and he's got to till the
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soil and get his food from the sweat of his brow. So employment here is very important to the human
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person. I will disagree. Because corporations cannot be trusted to voluntarily protect the
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environment, they require regulation. I agree. A lot less regulation than we have right now. But
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in principle, I agree. From each according to his ability to each according to his need is a
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fundamentally good idea. Strongly disagree. That's Marx's idea. It's immoral. And just as a practical
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matter, it never, ever works. And actually, at the founding of our own country, after the pilgrims
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landed here from the Mayflower, they got out, they tried to practice this idea of from each
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according to his ability to each according to his need. And it turned out nobody worked
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because some other guy would work for him and then you would get according to your needs. So
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strongly disagree. It's a sad reflection on our society that something as basic as drinking water
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is now a bottled, branded consumer product. Now it's a wonderful reflection on our society that
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we have so many choices in drinking water. So we can either slum it with the tap water or we can go
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with the fancy Fiji. And we get to choose which one we want. Works for me, man. Strongly disagree.
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Land shouldn't be a commodity to be bought and sold. What should it be? What's the alternative?
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What the left wants to pretend is the alternative is we're all just living like kumbaya, having a
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great time. But really, land will always be a commodity that is controlled by a person or a
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group of people. The question is, do you want it to be controlled by people like you and me or by the
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government, for instance? Certainly not the government. So I strongly disagree with that. It is regrettable
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that many personal fortunes are made by people who simply manipulate money and contribute nothing to
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society. Who is that? Who does that refer to? Probably the nincompoop who wrote this question
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thinks it refers to people on Wall Street, like investors or bankers or something, as though
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they're just sitting at a desk, like shuffling piles of money around. That's not how the financial
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services industry works. Financial services adds liquidity to markets. Investors invest money in
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companies that create jobs, that create products. It's so dumb. So I reject the premise of the
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question, but even getting at what they're trying to say, strongly disagree. Protectionism
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is sometimes necessary in trade. Strongly agree. The only social responsibility of a company should
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be to deliver a profit to its shareholders. I disagree with that. I mean, it's hard. I'm right
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in the center on that. I mean, that is the primary objective of a company is to deliver a profit to its
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shareholders. But a company does have other roles in society. And actually, the reason it's complicated
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is because the neglect of those roles in society can generate a lot of bad PR and ultimately stop the
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shareholders from getting their profits. So dumb question. Really, I would throw the whole thing out. But if I
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have to try to get at the heart of what it's saying, I guess I would slightly disagree. The rich are too
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highly taxed. Strongly agree. The rich pay all the taxes in this country. And so, sure, the vast,
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vast majority of taxes in this country. And so, yeah, I think they are probably too highly taxed.
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And I can't wait to become one of those rich who is too highly taxed. And then maybe we'll lower them.
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Those with the ability to pay should have access to higher standards of medical care. That's not even
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a normative question, like should or should not. It is simply a descriptive matter that it has always
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been and will always be the case that people with more money have access to more stuff. Any reasonable
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person would have to strongly agree with that. Not as a matter of should or should not, but it's just the way
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the world always works. It's like saying, the sun should shine. Strongly disagree. Well, okay, man. Good luck
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with that one. Governments should penalize businesses that mislead the public. What do you mean mislead the
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public? If we're talking about how markets do need structures around them and guardrails, then sure, I guess I
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slightly agree. But again, very dumb question. A genuine free market requires restrictions on the
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ability of predator multinationals to create monopolies. Yeah, free markets need to protect
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against certain monopolies. Sure. The freer the market, the freer the people. Yeah, generally that's
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true. Not always though. You know, especially when you look at the international sphere. If you have no
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barriers to trade, for instance, and you're outsourcing all of your jobs to another country and some other
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country is not playing fairly and they have a ton of barriers to trade and they're illegally subsidizing
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their aluminum industry, and I'm actually just talking about China here, then certainly it is not
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the case that the freer the market, the freer the people. So I guess I kind of agree, but you know,
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come on, write better questions, guys. Abortion, when the woman's life is not threatened, should always
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be illegal. Strongly agree. All authority should be questioned. It's very difficult to make that
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statement because any rational discourse has to begin with certain premises. A equals A. A plus B
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equals B plus A. I can't, like, prove those things, but that's where I begin from my assertion. Like,
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I would have to assume, if I'm having a rational discourse, that truth exists. So you have to assume
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certain things. Chesterton put it well. He said, there is a thought that stops thought, and that is
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the only thought that ought to be stopped. So I have to very slightly disagree. An eye for an eye and a
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tooth for a tooth, that's a description of justice, but then forgive your enemies and pray for your
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persecutors is a description of mercy. So I guess as a description of justice, I agree with that.
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But what is it describing? Taxpayers should not be expected to prop up any theaters or museums
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that cannot survive on a commercial basis. I disagree with that. Schools should not make
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classroom attendance compulsory. I strongly disagree with that. All people have their rights, but it
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is better for all of us that different sorts of people should keep to their own kind. So what the
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hell does that mean? I guess I'm going to disagree with that. I don't even know where that's
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going. Good parents sometimes have to spank their children. Yeah, I guess so. Not a huge fan of
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corporal punishment, but you know, sometimes you got to do it, I guess. It's natural for children
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to keep some secrets from their parents. Yeah, it's natural. Probably shouldn't encourage it if
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you're a parent, but that is natural. Strongly agree. Possessing marijuana for personal use should
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not be a criminal offense. Disagree. I don't really care. I just hate that potheads try to make
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marijuana legalization like the civil rights struggle of our times. Give me a break, guys. Good grief.
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It's also different than booze in that booze has always been in our civilization, going back to
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the ancient, ancient, old-timey days. Christ's first miracle is turning water into wine for
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drunk people. So it's been around a long time. You know, that's why prohibition didn't work.
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But marijuana is just some new foreign lib thing. So it seems to me better not to introduce that into
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our culture. The prime function of schooling should be to equip the future generation to find
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jobs. Strongly disagree with that. People with serious and heritable disabilities should not be
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allowed to reproduce. Strongly disagree with that. The left, I think, strongly agrees with that. You
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know, in Iceland last year, there was a headline. They said, Iceland has eradicated Down syndrome.
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So you eradicated it? What? Like you came up with a cure for it? And it turned out, no, they just kill
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all the people who have Down syndrome in the womb. So that's not good. The most important thing for
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children to learn is to accept discipline. Dumb question, but I guess I'll agree. There are no savage
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and civilized peoples. There are only different cultures. Strongly disagree. Because I have eyes. So,
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you know, you look around. I mean, gosh, look at so many modern cultures are more savage than
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tribal cultures. Those who are able to work and refuse the opportunity should not expect society's
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support. Strongly agree with that. When you are troubled, it's better not to think about it,
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but to keep busy with more cheerful things. I guess I do agree with that. First generation immigrants
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can never be fully integrated within their new country. I disagree with that. What's good for the
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most successful corporations is always ultimately good for all of us. Strongly disagree with that.
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Corporations in corporate America is probably the leading leftist institution in the country.
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They're the ones who go along to get along with anything because all they care about is dollars
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and cents. So it might be in their interest to embrace some stupid gender theory or something,
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but certainly not in our interest. No broadcasting institution, however independent its content,
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should receive public funding. No, I disagree with that. You need broadcast for certain public functions,
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but I do agree that we should probably pull some funding from those left-wingers at NPR.
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Our civil liberties are being excessively curbed in the name of counterterrorism. I disagree.
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A significant advantage of a one-party state is that it avoids all the arguments that delay
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progress in a democratic political system. I disagree with that because we won the Cold War,
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so it seems like we had the advantage. Although the electronic age makes official surveillance easier,
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only wrongdoers need to be worried. I strongly disagree with that. You're kidding me? You got the
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government blackmailing you for that weird thing that you do when you close the blinds? I don't
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think so. The death penalty should be an option for the most serious crimes. Strongly agree with
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that. The purpose of criminal justice is justice. A secondary advantage of criminal justice is
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rehabilitation. A tertiary advantage is deterrence. But the point of it is the justice. It is retributive.
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It's you commit a crime, you got to get punished for it. And hanging concentrates the mind wonderfully,
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as Dr. Johnson once observed. In a civilized society, one must always have people above to
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be obeyed and people below to be commanded. Well, all civilization has had hierarchy. So yes,
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of course. Abstract art that doesn't represent anything shouldn't be considered art at all.
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Well, this is a dumb question because abstract art, by definition, represents something. It's
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abstract, right? It's not a still life of an apple or something. It's abstract, so it is representative
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of something else. But very often, it's just complete nonsense. And right, that should not be
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considered art. In order for something to be art, it has to be creative, not just a bunch of blotches
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that you randomly throw on a canvas. Not a well-phrased question, but I strongly agree. In criminal
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justice, punishment should be more important than rehabilitation. I just said that. It's like they're
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reading my mind. Yes, strongly agree. It is a waste of time to try to rehabilitate some criminals.
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What do they mean by that? Do they mean some criminals are beyond rehabilitation? That's
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true. But do they mean that we shouldn't rehabilitate any criminals? No, that's crazy. I
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strongly disagree. The business person and the manufacturer are more important than the
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writer and the artist. Well, yes, in that they keep the blood moving through our economy,
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right? They keep things going. If you didn't have people to come and fix your toilet, then
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civilization would collapse in about a week or so. But of course, when we think about
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civilization, we think about culture. That's what defines a civilization. So I will disagree
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with that. Everybody has a role to play. Mothers may have careers, but their first duty is to
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be homemakers. Assume by homemaker, they're not just referring to making sandwiches. Assume
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by homemaker, they're referring to raising children. And if you're a mother, then you do
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have a responsibility to raise children. And it's more important if you have children than
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making some widget at a factory. So sure. Yeah, I agree with that. Again, poorly phrased.
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I wouldn't use their phrasing, but you know, this test obviously was written by a lib.
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Multinational companies are unethically exploiting the plant genetic resources of developing countries.
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Nah, give me a break. Strongly disagree. Making peace with the establishment is an important
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aspect of maturity. I do agree with that. You know, little kids want to rebel against everything.
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And they're like rebels without a cause. And they're pissed off at their parents. And it's
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much more mature, however, to recognize that you didn't just pop into being out of thin
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air. You come from a tradition. And maybe you want to improve that tradition, sure. But you
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have to reconcile yourself to reality before you can do that. Astrology accurately explains
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many things. So this one maybe could be unexpected. I think that's possibly true. Like I'm not someone
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to totally write off astrology. You know, the Bible tells us not to consult astrologers. Not
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because astrology is totally, completely without any merit or reality. They tell us not to because
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it's evil. And it compromises our free will. So I guess it, I don't know, does it accurately
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explain many things? What does astrology do? You mean the things you read in the newspaper or
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astrology suggesting that there is some rhythm to the universe? I guess I would have to agree.
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But I would encourage you, never consult astrologers. You cannot be moral without being religious.
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You can be accidentally moral. And most people who say they're not religious are very religious.
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The actor Idris Elba just said that the earth, which is a rock, by the way, gave us coronavirus
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because it's pissed off that we're throwing litter into the streets or we're throwing plastic to the
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baby turtles. So that's a very religious idea that's called pantheism. Some people say they're
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not religious at all, but actually men can become women because your body has nothing to do with who
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you really are. That's a religious idea that's called Gnosticism. So their morality, which is a perverted
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morality, even that has a basis in religion. Strongly agree. Charity is better than social
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security as a means of helping the genuinely disadvantaged. Who's disadvantaged? I mean,
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that's loaded terminology anyway. Charity is better in that charity is a moral exchange. So
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when I give charity, some guy asks me for charity, I feel the grace, the goodness, the virtue of that
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act of charity. The beggar feels gratitude to me for what I did. And that's a nice moral
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relationship. Taxation, which is what they're talking about here with social security,
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there is no moral relationship. I think Dinesh D'Souza once explained this as the beggar asks
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me for my sandwich. I'm eating my sandwich and enjoying it. And then Barack Obama rides up on a
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white horse and points a gun at my head and says, give the beggar your sandwich. I don't feel the act
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of charity because I didn't choose to give charity. The beggar doesn't feel gratitude. He feels
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entitlement. And Barack Obama feels that he's done something productive, even though he's done
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nothing at all other than point a gun at my head. I guess I would have to agree. Some people are
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naturally unlucky. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's true. I agree. Strongly agree. People have disadvantages.
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Sometimes our suffering can become a great advantage because it deepens our understanding of the
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world. It is important that my child's school instills religious values. I strongly agree. The
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trouble is in public schools, they're instilling all the wrong kind of religious values.
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They're instilling gender theory in pre-kindergarten in Brooklyn. That's really
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happening right now. They instill all sorts of madness. Very often they instill a hatred of one's
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country. They instill a hatred of one's civilization. So I do agree that it's important. We just got to
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make sure they're teaching the right religious values. Sex outside marriage is usually immoral.
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Strongly agree. A same-sex couple in a stable, loving relationship should not be excluded from the
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possibility of child adoption. Well, I suppose that you've got to weigh the alternatives here.
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Are you talking about a world in which there are zillions of newborn babies who are being put up
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for adoption and not enough homes for those newborn babies to be adopted into? Because that's not the
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world we live in. The world we live in, there are 32 couples waiting to adopt for every newborn that's
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put up for adoption in the United States. So at that point, you have to come to a decision.
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What is the best place for a child to be raised in? And if you believe that men and women are
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different and they complement one another and that a child ought to have a right to a mother and
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father, then surely you have to disagree with this question, which I do.
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Pornography depicting consenting adults should be legal for the adult population.
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Well, this question ignores federalism for one. It ignores the wills of local populations.
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It ignores the type of pornography, some of which is truly obscene. And we would jail people for it
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on the federal level as recently as 10 or 11 years ago. So I would have to disagree with that.
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Not strongly disagree, but disagree. What goes on in a private bedroom between consenting adults
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is no business of the state. I don't know what's going on in there. Is the guy like smacking the
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lady around and tying her up and putting cigarettes out on her forehead? Because then I think
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it is the business of everybody. Some people say you can't legislate morality. All laws legislate
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morality. So I disagree with that. No one can feel naturally homosexual. I think people can
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probably feel naturally homosexual. Now, what you do at that point is probably a question for your
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religious point of view or your moral or ethical point of view, but I'm sure there are natural
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longings. These days, openness about sex has gone too far. Strongly agree. I just read a New York
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City sex guide to surviving the coronavirus pandemic and it was the filthiest document I've read in
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probably years. So yeah, it's gone too far. I actually, I tweeted it out and it got so much
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play, they ended up deleting it. So I'm doing my part to turn back the tide of the sexual revolution.
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Let's see where I stand. Okay. So it's telling me all the different places. So like Stalin is the
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authoritarian left. I said Bernie Sanders. Gandhi is the libertarian left. Hitler is the authoritarian
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right. Thatcher is the authoritarian right. I like that they, the only one of these grids that they,
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they put two people into is Hitler and Margaret Thatcher. I'm like, okay guys, cool. Everyone
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else, libertarian right is Milton Friedman. Libertarian left is Gandhi. Authoritarian left
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is Stalin. But then you got Hitler, Hitler and Margaret Thatcher, the iron lady. Okay. The iron
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cross and the iron lady. I am, as I predicted, slightly on the authoritarian right. 1.5 to the right
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on economics. I scored a 3.69 to authoritarian. So I'm almost exactly where I predicted that I would be
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despite all of their extremely dumb questions. I think that makes me a traditional conservative.
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I'm glad that we've gone through this all. And I hope that you, like so many other people on the
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internet, can be bored enough and self-obsessed enough to take this quiz and waste 25 minutes
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so that you can find out what you already knew at the very beginning. Cheers.