Michael & The Diddy Escort: “Diddy Watched the Whole Time” | Shawn Dearing
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 38 minutes
Words per Minute
202.36288
Summary
Sean Deering talks about his time working with P. Diddy and how he ended up being one of the men he hired to have sex with his girlfriend. He also talks about how he got into the modeling industry and how P.D. used him as a guinea pig.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
So I don't know who I'm seeing, and so I show up to the address, I go up to the door, knock, and she opens the door.
00:00:08.380
She puts the towel down, like, hey, just don't pour the baby oil all over me.
00:00:15.040
There were times in the sessions where I saw that demon, the demon that she talked about.
00:00:20.860
Personal demon, you know, these are the demons that are reflecting me, or Diddy.
00:00:27.660
Your name and your picture were revealed in court.
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It was revealed in court, and then it started to go mainstream, and 50 posted that picture.
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There's this video of him beating her in a hallway.
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P. Diddy has gotten off the hook for the worst charges that he faced pertaining to his freak-offs and weird sex parties over decades.
00:01:03.300
But nobody denies that those parties happened, that he engaged in depraved, crazy sexual activities, that he had his girlfriends sleep with multiple men who were hired for the occasion.
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P. Diddy beat the tough charges, even though all the things he's accused of doing, maybe not the crimes, but the activities, the parties, the sex, the everything.
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No one denies that he actually did those things.
00:01:46.520
And you're one of the guys he hired to sleep with his girlfriend.
00:01:57.820
And I was figuring out where am I headed with life.
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Tried college, three and a half years, didn't exactly find my way.
00:02:16.440
So from there, I was working in Southern California for a bit.
00:02:20.520
And a friend of mine helped open up a valet venture in Vegas.
00:02:29.200
And then the bar industry, I was introduced to a wonderful girlfriend that thought I should model one day.
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I thought she was joking when she asked me because I look in the mirror.
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I think, you know, I thought she was joking with me.
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And I said, babe, if you think I can model, I'm going to give it my all.
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Like Mr. William Hung is a lifelong idol of mine.
00:03:03.840
And one thing he said is, everything I do, I give it my best.
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And I just tried to give everything I had in modeling.
00:03:13.980
And then that led to a profile on Model Mayhem.
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It's sort of the, I think it's like the old-school MySpace style of the model industry.
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I remember there were these go-make-it-big-in-show-business kind of websites.
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Yeah, kind of the beginning of the pipeline, I guess you would say.
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And so my girlfriend had me put my profile on there.
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And I thought it was a, you know, I'm going to go.
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And then a few months later, I get a message from Mr. Garen James,
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who is the guy who owns the company Cowboys for Angels.
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I thought somebody wanted me to send them more pictures and be like,
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And I was like, hey, look, this guy's messaging me.
00:04:05.820
And her and I had come across some of his episodes of that Showtime show Gigolo in the past.
00:04:10.760
So I'm not totally familiar with Cowboys for Angels or the Gigolo show.
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This agency is a, it sounds like it's a gigolo agency.
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Well, the proper term would be a, um, the escort service.
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Well, not, uh, uh, the terminology slip in me, but, uh, it's a, uh, it's prostitution.
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But in nicer words, using some softer verbiage, but yes, in a sense.
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But the, you know, on that same note, um, I did go on dates where sex wasn't involved.
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So that's the idea behind it is that the women are compensating us for our time.
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Whatever happens between adults is between two consenting adults.
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But, but there, so people hear that and they say, well, that sounds like legal, uh, C, CYA kind of stuff.
00:05:00.980
But, but you're saying, no, you, so you, you, you joined this agency and, and sometimes a woman would just hire you to go to dinner or something.
00:05:09.600
Uh, yeah, uh, there was one woman I went on four dates with and we, we never had sexual encounters.
00:05:16.420
There were times at the end of the dates, it would start to wrap up and, uh, she would inquire on having more hours.
00:05:32.160
And so it was just, yeah, you know, you let the lady take the lead.
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So you, your girlfriend says you should be a model.
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Then this guy says, Hey, do you want to be a escort?
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Well, he messaged me on the site and I thought it was a joke.
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So you show your girlfriend, what does your girlfriend say?
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And we were together at the time and I was like, well, I'm not going to indulge in this.
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But he, you know, he's messaging me on this site.
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And then about a year later, we ended up breaking up.
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And she was a very, uh, wonderful one, wise, and just had a good head on her.
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And as we're breaking up, it was a cordial breakup.
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You need a, you know, you need to, uh, you need a new path.
00:06:15.040
And I'm one, I didn't, I didn't think I'd ever want to be an escort.
00:06:25.720
Now at the time, before you accept the offer from the escort agency, would you have called
00:06:31.240
yourself a Christian and said, you believe in God?
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Even if, if, if the man asked me, I would have told him, I love and serve God.
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Then you say, Hey, this gigolo guy just wants to work with me.
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Then as you're breaking up, this, this girl sounds like a horrible influence.
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And then, Hey, by the way, you should go be a gigolo now that we're broken up.
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It was one that, uh, you could look at it how you choose, but I, she saw something in
00:07:06.780
And, uh, I'm one, if there's a, a challenge or if someone thinks I can do something, I
00:07:11.580
didn't see how possibly personally degrading it could be, you know, on the outskirts.
00:07:18.740
Then what at the time you're viewing this in this very positive way?
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But it, so if you didn't think, and I, I've heard this from multiple people.
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You didn't think it was going to be so degrading, you know, when you're getting into it, what
00:07:37.980
Uh, I wanted to, uh, the fact that I could spend time with someone, I'm a very much a
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And then with my first girlfriend that I had out of high school, I was in a four year
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Another amazing, beautiful girl, woman, but I realized I didn't listen.
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And so I realized like I'm spending time with these women and I love listening.
00:07:59.080
I do like hearing them, you know, and, uh, as a young man, you know, sex is fun, even
00:08:10.040
So was that part of it though, when you're signing up?
00:08:28.900
Uh, not necessarily as an incentive, but just like it was the, uh, when I got the message
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And he's like, I'm going to be in Vegas in two days.
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So I'd boogied over to Vegas and my, I don't think I stayed with my ex-girlfriend.
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I forget where I stayed, but I'd stayed over, had a quick meeting with him and I was shocked.
00:09:02.240
And then a few, about a week later, he put me on his team.
00:09:07.740
Um, at that time, probably about 12 to 15, but I think there's a lot more now because
00:09:19.900
So then at the time you, you go out, you're interested in this opportunity and you've got
00:09:33.940
If you had to rank them, how would you rank those three motivations?
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I told her your little experience to go in, own it, be here this date, this time.
00:10:04.060
Many people have the fake it till you make it mentality.
00:10:06.220
And so I could see that, you know, I was like, I had to, uh, instill confidence though,
00:10:12.500
You know, I realized the fake it till you make it thing, it sits, but if you're faking it,
00:10:17.220
And so just have the confidence to attain in a sense.
00:10:21.360
And so that's how I led with, I went in and my first date, I got extended hours, uh,
00:10:27.060
which the guy likes, you know, it's more money all around.
00:10:29.800
And so from there, it, the dates just, not, not to cry too much.
00:10:34.620
When you say extended hours, is that a euphemism or is that, is that, does that, is that just
00:10:39.320
a code word for sex or is that, does it just mean you go out and you actually have more
00:10:44.020
So she, you know, they, they hire for a timeframe and if you go beyond that, then it's extra
00:10:52.500
And so, and that's what the guy says, you're, you're there for this X hours, but if it continues,
00:10:57.100
just message me in the morning and we'll take care of all the money and such or things of
00:11:05.260
And I think that was kind of the, I guess he saw something and the ball kept rolling from
00:11:10.060
I wasn't, I wasn't the, you know, 10 dates a month guy.
00:11:17.520
And then sometimes it'd go two to three months.
00:11:20.300
And you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but that first date, this is your
00:11:27.260
Is it, are you just chatting over warm milk and cookies or is it?
00:11:32.600
It started out at a bar there along the Malibu coast.
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Just, you know, she's sitting at a bar and walk up, uh, introduce myself and we start
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And then, uh, that's when she, she, my first client was a, like a well-off lawyer and she
00:11:53.700
kind of broke it down to me why she had acquired me that night.
00:12:01.740
She doesn't want to go to a bar and get hessled and hackled.
00:12:07.340
And then she wants to be able to have her own household when she wants it.
00:12:11.420
And so it was, I could see is like, she wanted to, uh, to be appreciated, but not heckled
00:12:19.340
And she liked that her level of success gave her the ability to do that, uh, to be able
00:12:26.260
And so I, I had to play respectfully, accordingly, you know, and that, that's, I think that's
00:12:32.980
one of the keys of, uh, my roots as a Hawaii boy, uh, you lead with respect.
00:12:39.520
And that was one of the keys I think that helped me in this industry is I just, I respect
00:12:43.800
Now, again, you can just tell me, I don't want to answer that.
00:12:51.060
Now it was a different time in your life and obviously you've gotten out of it, but that's,
00:12:54.200
the reason I'm asking that is now all of a sudden, after this first date, after this
00:13:13.600
Did that warp your perception of yourself or no?
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I mean, I didn't, you know, I didn't, yeah, I, I didn't see it that way.
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I can deny it all, but it, it, it is that I, I can see how to, like my, that voice inside
00:13:30.680
And I, I truly do appreciate this woman and I don't want her to be treated or felt like
00:13:38.100
she's only being used for her money in a sense.
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So that was kind of in my soul was like, I, that was one of those things I, why helped
00:13:46.000
me to, to be able to do it, you know, and not feel.
00:13:49.400
So you said, in your mind, you're saying, I'm not just doing this for the money.
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I got that, that, it's one, it was a challenge.
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Like, I never thought, I never thought that would happen.
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I never thought that, I never wanted that door to open, but opportunity came and I jumped
00:14:16.640
In my mind, a male gigolo, it, it's, it was kind of like Playgirl.
00:14:22.380
No, guys buy Playboy and guys buy Playgirl, right?
00:14:25.900
There's no, I, in my mind it was, it was either straight guys hiring women or gay guys hiring
00:14:31.320
I did not think that women would actually hire a male prostitute or a gigolo or an escort
00:14:41.860
Um, uh, yeah, but 90% of the clients are women.
00:14:45.840
And then a few others were the males husbands hiring me for their partner, their wife.
00:14:52.760
It happened, it wasn't very prevalent, but it happened.
00:14:57.960
And it's one of those that, uh, yeah, it learned a lot.
00:15:04.880
Uh, uh, the oldest was about 45 and the other one, uh, about one who was in their late twenties.
00:15:13.300
Uh, some, some of them were beautiful couples that were, it's like they, they wanted to be
00:15:22.260
And they thought they had to bring an outside source in, in order to break the threshold of
00:15:29.180
So they would say things like they wanted to do a, like a sex act or something they
00:15:34.340
And they were too scared to say it to their loved one because they didn't want them to
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But then, you know, I'd be brought into the setting and it just would open up the sexual
00:15:48.180
And so they were, in a sense it was exciting to them, but it was the, it, it's sad to say
00:15:53.160
it was the, uh, the beginning of the unraveling.
00:15:55.680
So, so it's funny because I can, I can, as you're explaining this, I can kind of
00:15:59.180
get that in principle that it's, it's almost easier if there's a third person, but it is,
00:16:04.960
it's kind of funny in a way to say, I'm too embarrassed to, uh, ask for some sort of sexual
00:16:15.600
So, so instead I'm going to propose bringing a male escort that that's somehow less odd or.
00:16:22.400
And I could see too, sometime on a, well, many times it was the man, cause they wanted to
00:16:30.240
They wanted like, he wanted his wife to, uh, have fun with another woman.
00:16:35.500
And so this was somewhat of the, I guess, balancing factor.
00:16:40.360
It was a way to not make it seem as bad, I guess, for them and to say, see, I want my
00:16:46.580
sex fun and I'm allowing you to have your sex fun.
00:16:49.540
That seems truly like, I, I see as you're describing it, it's like the middle ground to me.
00:16:55.060
That seems like the exact, like worst case scenario.
00:16:58.240
If you're a guy, you say, well, I have this deviant fantasy about two women, so I'll meet
00:17:05.720
As they call it, they called it the, the devil's threesome.
00:17:10.920
So anyway, okay, so, so it's women, all of this is subverting my expectations.
00:17:18.520
It's women, it's not just women, it's relatively young women.
00:17:22.840
Are they, the, put aside the cuckold, the cuckold couples for a second.
00:17:27.240
It, the, the women, you say one of them is, okay, she's rich.
00:17:32.280
So that's why she's, she's rich, she's busy, she knows what she wants.
00:17:40.860
I'm trying to figure out why, what would motivate a single woman to go hire a gigolo rather than
00:17:54.140
You know, they didn't like the, um, and it was the control of the situation.
00:17:58.860
Control, and the money, the money gave them that power.
00:18:04.900
Like I said, I like to listen and I've learned that I've learned that there's much value in
00:18:10.480
And, um, cause there was, you know, some of the clients, uh, I, I was a regular for a
00:18:18.320
And then one of the other guys was also a regular for some of the ladies.
00:18:21.820
And so I saw the game, some of the other guys were playing with the women and attempts
00:18:28.560
to, I don't want to go too deep, but attempts to lock these rich women down, either through
00:18:38.080
And so I saw this game being played by, you know, a few different women of clients who
00:18:51.740
So hold on, you're saying the men, the gigolos who are regulars, they say, okay, well, I got
00:18:57.600
this woman who's rich, uh, who's paying me for my services, but rather than just get a
00:19:04.400
paycheck for every date, what if I, what if I impregnate this woman in a, in a deceitful
00:19:11.300
Cause it was the same game plan from a few different women.
00:19:14.520
And they would tell me like one of these, one of the women who I saw quite often would
00:19:18.580
tell me the game plan or what this, one of the guys was doing behind the scenes.
00:19:23.460
And then a few weeks later or a few months later, I see another client.
00:19:26.960
And these, these women are wealthy women who are, their parents did very well.
00:19:31.960
And so they had large sums of money and many, they too themselves had businesses, which they
00:19:37.320
Um, but this, yeah, there was a man doing, and that, like, that's why too, some of these
00:19:42.940
women, you know, they would, uh, one thing we were never supposed to exchange numbers
00:19:46.260
because all business was supposed to be done through the, uh, to ensure there's no backroom
00:19:54.080
So, but I did exchange numbers with these women who had some, you know, they had some hard
00:19:57.740
times in their life and they just need someone to talk to when they were, you know, at points
00:20:01.680
in their life where they're on their, their deathbed in a sense.
00:20:07.640
So these women who were really, uh, desperate or, or depressed or something.
00:20:13.480
And so they, you gave them the number you'd, you'd have kind of offline.
00:20:18.820
I tried, I, I'm one, I, I don't like to operate in that manner, but when the women would tell
00:20:25.020
me, Hey, I just made me, I just need someone to talk to, you know, or they would lead in
00:20:35.340
But, you know, there was a time where I did exchange the numbers and they would call
00:20:41.000
They're still paying you just off the, off the books.
00:20:43.340
Well, you know, they would, I wouldn't necessarily see them too.
00:20:46.820
Like they would call me to talk and stuff, but I did see a couple of times off the books
00:20:53.680
So you've given me the scope of your career with the, as a gigolo and you say, it started
00:21:00.580
out, I was okay morally with the women paying me for, for sex, but I was not okay with these
00:21:09.100
You hear about women, you know, pretending they're on a contraceptive drug and they're not
00:21:18.520
The man is going to try to impregnate the rich woman, but you say, okay, that, that part
00:21:24.520
But there was this thing in the middle that you alluded to, which pertains to the big
00:21:28.940
You said there are these guys who would hire you to sleep with their wives or girlfriends.
00:21:40.660
And when that night came, uh, so, um, I did also, I worked private parties, bartended,
00:21:47.480
served, uh, at studios and places all around Los Angeles and stuff.
00:21:52.460
And so that night, one night was doing, uh, it was a pretty boring event, only wine and
00:21:58.860
about 13 guests at a gentleman's house at the Hills.
00:22:03.860
And I kind of got all the guests, their wines and stuff.
00:22:06.620
And I'm sort of standing there and the reception's real in and out.
00:22:09.560
And I see my phone kind of blinking and I'm like, Oh crap.
00:22:11.840
So I look at it, it says, uh, Garen James missed call.
00:22:15.500
And when, you know, when he calls, it's just one of those, like, okay, you know, this is
00:22:21.320
So I, uh, told the guy, Hey Andy, I gotta go make a phone call real quick.
00:22:24.780
And it's one of those seeds from back in the, um, the Verizon days, you know, I went to the
00:22:29.060
side of the house and I'm like hitting call and like, and it's like, no bar.
00:22:33.920
So I'm on the side of the house and there's trash cans.
00:22:37.740
And I see him like, okay, it goes through and I'm holding it.
00:22:44.500
And, uh, and then he's all like, Hey, you available?
00:22:59.240
I went in, I told the guy, uh, I think his name was Andy.
00:23:01.520
I was like, Hey Andy, I got a family emergency.
00:23:10.260
And so I, so this is the most Hollywood story I've ever heard.
00:23:13.920
You're already at a party in the Hollywood Hills.
00:23:17.680
You get a call to, to do a, like a sex job for A-listers at another Hollywood party.
00:23:28.140
And now you're driving over to P. Diddy's house.
00:23:35.680
And I'm in my little Ford Focus, you know, little beeper bopper works well there in L.A.
00:23:40.880
because you can fit in all these parking spots.
00:23:45.200
Either, either there or her condo was the first one, but pull up.
00:23:49.520
And, uh, this is where, so I don't know who I'm seeing.
00:23:54.160
I go up to the door, knock, and she opens the door.
00:23:59.900
And I didn't know, I didn't, I didn't put two and two together.
00:24:07.920
Uh, and I, like, I almost, and she's like, hi, come on in.
00:24:15.660
And, you know, I, I'm, I know how to handle myself in a sense.
00:24:18.540
I've been around beautiful people, but she had a presence.
00:24:28.900
Like, there's, um, yeah, you could, I mean, it's like, you could feel her spirit.
00:24:32.960
In Hawaii, Hawaii, you, you, you vibe off people.
00:24:36.100
And I didn't think that was, I didn't really know that was a thing until I got older and
00:25:00.360
If I'm stuttering, you're just drop-dead gorgeous.
00:25:02.500
I just had to get that out of the way so that we can move forward and I'm not just losing
00:25:08.800
And walks me into a room, tells me the situation.
00:25:11.660
And I didn't realize they weren't husband and wife.
00:25:14.220
But she tells me, hey, um, so we're just going to have a little fun.
00:25:21.220
You know, and then we'll just, we're going to be out there on the couch having fun and
00:25:26.940
So she, I mean, she, in many ways, practically, they were together so long.
00:25:36.760
And the long-term boyfriend just so happens to be, you don't know this at the time.
00:25:39.380
No, I was on the assumption that this A-list or whoever he or she was hired the most beautiful
00:25:50.340
That was, I mean, she was that, like, stunning in a sense.
00:25:53.400
I don't mean to mean, like, escort looking, but she just was stunningly beautiful.
00:25:58.660
And then I'm sitting in the room and she even offered, she said, oh, here's a bar.
00:26:08.420
And then, yes, she comes back and the session starts about 15 minutes later.
00:26:14.260
So when you say the session starts, you mean you guys do the thing that married couples
00:26:21.360
Very, this, you know, it was all, it's very performative.
00:26:25.080
So the whole system set up, you know, like the, every flavor of Ciroc is on the bar, you
00:26:36.840
Well, no, I didn't put two and two together then, you know, I took, you don't think of
00:26:43.400
I don't think I would have put it together if I, if I found myself in that situation.
00:26:50.680
Because, you know, she sits on a couch and there's like a couch like this, maybe facing.
00:26:56.440
It's like, hey, just don't pour the baby oil all over me.
00:26:59.300
And it would be, it would be heated, some heated, some just room temperature.
00:27:04.040
Because I remember, I actually didn't follow the case that closely, the Diddy case.
00:27:08.580
But one of the details that was in every headline was that investigators seized like a thousand
00:27:17.480
It was, yeah, I mean, there's lots of baby oil.
00:27:23.740
And I didn't see him until about the fourth or third or fourth encounter.
00:27:42.000
And I want to, I'm, I want to ensure I respect all those that I've seen.
00:27:48.600
I don't want to dispel any private information.
00:27:50.540
The only reason I'm opening up about this is it's public now.
00:27:55.040
Had, had you just sat down, we're meeting for the first time, and you told me this story.
00:28:00.960
It's not that I would have immediately called you a liar, but I would have been very skeptical
00:28:07.920
You know, with this in the news, I'm sure there are going to be a lot of people who claim
00:28:11.200
to have been gigolos at freak offs or in Diddy's house or whatever.
00:28:15.000
There was already, it was some guy who claimed to be a lawyer or working with the legal team.
00:28:20.860
But I know that you actually did this stuff because you didn't volunteer this to go get
00:28:29.120
Your name and your picture were revealed in court.
00:28:33.480
Well, revealed in court, and then it was sort of go mainstream when 50 posted that picture.
00:28:43.200
Uh, he said something like, I wonder what he did to these guys or something along those
00:28:48.880
So it's like very, um, assumptive and especially with what's going on, you know, people can.
00:28:56.740
So, so the rapper 50 Cent posts your picture along with a bunch of other guys, says, I wonder
00:29:02.680
And your name and your picture also come out in court, which is probably where 50 Cent
00:29:08.640
And all of this is, uh, quite corroborating of the fact that you're sitting in a hotel
00:29:17.120
Or was that, was it the Beverly Hills or at the condo?
00:29:18.740
It was either her condo or the Beverly Hills Hotel.
00:29:20.500
And, and she is directing you in a sexual performance for P Diddy, who's behind the curtain.
00:29:31.440
He was in the room and just a little, little creek open.
00:29:35.400
And you could tell it was, she was in, I mean, I didn't notice it, uh, till a few sessions
00:29:46.440
Like, so hold on, but guys, this is the part of the story that to me is really interesting
00:29:51.880
The claim of the prosecution in the Diddy case was that he was coercing these women,
00:29:59.720
chiefly her, but from the story you're describing, she welcomes you in.
00:30:09.440
This sounds like a woman who, again, ultimately, because I, I have a Christian conception of liberty.
00:30:16.980
This is a woman who's in the thrall to a lot of vice and sin, but in the modern legal conception
00:30:22.240
of liberty, it sounds like this woman's totally free and she's telling you what to do.
00:30:27.320
It doesn't sound like he's got a whip and a chain and he's.
00:30:30.820
And that's, um, you know, I'm one, I respect the setting.
00:30:34.980
I respect clients and I realized I'm there to have a job.
00:30:39.140
I want to ensure the clients get what they pay for.
00:30:43.100
Um, so like I, I didn't, I wouldn't listen to their arguments and stuff.
00:31:00.920
You could hear them discussing stuff and some pretty strong tones.
00:31:05.120
But at that time too, I'm not like, I, I, I didn't want to include myself into anyone's
00:31:13.000
And that's, you know, I didn't want to, uh, try to get a story or anything.
00:31:21.540
Um, what I was going to say is that initially it was very, seemed very cordial, very, uh,
00:31:29.300
But as the sessions grew, there were times her spirit, you could tell were just, it was
00:31:38.520
Where instead of the jovial smile, hi, welcome in.
00:31:45.840
And there were times in the sessions where I saw that demon, the demon that she talked
00:31:56.380
What do you mean she, a demon, a per, like a, a kind of a personal demon, you know, these
00:32:00.440
are the demons that are afflicting me or diddy.
00:32:08.860
I, I made a statement to News Nation that I wanted to, uh, clear out.
00:32:14.760
So there, there was a time in the later sessions where.
00:32:30.340
So, pun intended, you are very intimately acquainted with Diddy and his girlfriend.
00:32:40.660
There was, and he was always like, honestly, talking to him.
00:32:52.080
But, uh, but trying to talk to him was like talking to a soulless wall.
00:33:02.580
Like, just, like there was one time, uh, uh, that, that's how the conversations were.
00:33:09.480
Like him and I were, we were on a bed separated, but, you know, laying near the top and she
00:33:16.600
He's like, Hey man, why, why, why, why, why, why men doing this?
00:33:21.500
And I, I come to realize that he, he knew the agency and he knows more men are doing
00:33:24.940
And I just responded, try to try to respond pretty quickly.
00:33:27.400
And I was like, oh, man, men will want to, uh, men want to own.
00:33:31.600
So men will want your woman and it creates jealousy and stuff.
00:33:36.600
Does he mean, why aren't more men doing what I'm doing?
00:33:44.800
Cause it seems like, you know, for like a teenage boy, maybe it seems like, oh, I got paid
00:33:52.320
And your answer, your answer is because men want.
00:34:00.320
And, you know, I was just trying to give him an answer.
00:34:02.900
I didn't want to leave him hanging and stuff, but that's how it was.
00:34:06.660
So in a sense too, there was, I've only bought one CD in my life and it was, I'll be missing
00:34:11.380
You know, she, you know, that song he wrote for his, who I thought was his brother.
00:34:18.760
I was like, cause I just wanted to, you know, I, I didn't want to connect, connect.
00:34:27.560
I just want to break the ice and just talk to you.
00:34:35.620
And so I told him one day, I was finally just like, I'm just going to just say it like,
00:34:40.800
It was the, the piece you put together for your brother, little smalls, man, I'll be missing
00:34:45.240
And I thought that would be like, Oh, he could talk about his brother and we could, I could
00:35:01.200
So this guy from the picture you're painting and the courts have painted and from like video
00:35:07.400
footage, I guess, is a, is a sex crazed animal.
00:35:16.360
Uh, that's, I could, I mean, I would say that's fair.
00:35:19.200
That's definitely fair for my own personal experience.
00:35:22.760
Uh, this is like, yeah, it's like he had a, and it was the power too.
00:35:28.580
You know, I could tell it was the power that turned him on as well.
00:35:30.980
It was the, it wasn't just the naked bodies touching and stuff.
00:35:37.200
This is going to, this maybe is a dumb question, but there are going to be a lot of people asking
00:35:44.900
If you're a guy and you have a pretty girlfriend, you should get married, I guess, and have kids
00:35:53.480
But even short of that, it seems to me you'd want to just, uh, sleep with your girlfriend
00:36:01.900
How, why would you want to, why would you want some other guy to sleep with your girlfriend?
00:36:15.100
That, you know, I don't know the exact answer to that one because I'm, I'm like you.
00:36:19.980
You're the guy in this situation and you don't know the answer.
00:36:23.540
I don't, I don't understand how, why that's, I, I don't, you know, I, I think it's the,
00:36:31.260
It's one of the devil's greatest tools that like you think you're satisfied, but you want
00:36:39.020
And if you don't have something to steer you in line to be like, no, that's a sin.
00:36:47.060
So, so basically you, you, you're the, you're the rich rapper.
00:36:54.260
You've, you've done that thing 10 billion times.
00:36:57.040
And now because it's not ordered, it's not ordered towards something.
00:37:06.860
Like that's, I mean, that's my assumption as to, you know, like you hear the audio of
00:37:11.160
what may have happened behind closed doors with Diddy and some rappers, you know, and
00:37:15.120
then some of them aren't as famous as they were before those moments that they had with
00:37:21.680
And I think it's, uh, it's a, it's my assumption.
00:37:27.560
Because hold on the thing you're alluding to, which I think is public.
00:37:30.400
It's not, we're not exactly revealing private sins here.
00:37:37.540
It seems like he's doing weird stuff with guys and making guys do weird stuff with him.
00:37:41.200
And that's the thing I want to make it very clear.
00:37:43.300
He, him and I never had any physical interactions.
00:37:48.180
But he would, but that does add a wrinkle to this where you say, well, hold on.
00:37:51.200
And if he's half a gay guy, why does he even have a girlfriend?
00:37:57.260
And cause he's just a pervert basically, is it?
00:38:00.440
Many other men that I've talked to, like Cassie is one of the most beautiful women.
00:38:05.160
You, you could, like, she's, she's a very gorgeous, beautiful woman.
00:38:09.320
And I think Diddy, you know, he had that and he wants to be above everyone else.
00:38:16.120
It was like, her beauty is great, but, but I own it and you want it, but I own it.
00:38:25.960
So there was a few times where I got to see that side of the Diddy where it was all about
00:38:29.580
power and, uh, her and I can have no interaction without him there.
00:38:36.080
If he, cause there was a moment we're doing, uh, you know, we're naked and on a couch and
00:38:44.380
Diddy kind of gets up and walks and she just kind of pauses and, and then just sits like
00:38:49.840
this and I kind of lean back on the couch and then I just kind of, Hey, I forget what
00:38:56.080
I'm like, Hey, what happened yesterday or blah, blah, blah.
00:39:01.120
Just something just to have a, to break the ice in a sense.
00:39:05.120
And she just looks, she just goes, not till he comes back.
00:39:12.500
And so that's when I was, uh, made a statement on News Nation.
00:39:16.300
It wasn't fear I was sensing, but it was, this is, this woman knows next level what she
00:39:23.540
Like she knows if I even possibly talk with him, he's going to, what'd you say to him?
00:39:31.340
Cause there's video of him beating her in a hallway.
00:39:38.620
I got to figure that, found that out from a reporter who found out all the chat logs
00:39:43.940
But yeah, I was supposed to be there that night.
00:39:46.840
It would have been, I don't know what would happen, but I, that's not what I like to see
00:39:50.560
is like, I, I'm the guy, I don't like to, I don't never start a fight, but I like to,
00:39:58.620
And, you know, I don't, I like to try to bring peace and civility.
00:40:03.400
So, so you, you were supposed to be there the night Diddy's film beating his girlfriend
00:40:07.140
and you're wondering rather than say, man, I'm so glad I wasn't there that night.
00:40:12.860
You're thinking, man, had I been there, maybe that wouldn't have happened.
00:40:15.640
I like to, I like to think there's a chance that I could have hopefully brought the spirit
00:40:20.180
I guess I, maybe just trying to, maybe I'm talking a little too tall here, but it's
00:40:24.240
like, that, that's kind of been my, I guess my thing is I, I have a deep vibe, I guess,
00:40:29.540
you know, and I, I don't mind getting punched in the head if it could bring some peace and
00:40:36.820
But at the same time, I could, I don't know, I would try to bear hug him if I saw him beating
00:40:40.820
I don't, I don't know what would have happened, but I would have tried to quell the situation.
00:40:46.520
If not, you know, uh, yeah, I probably would have had to talk with the guy and be like, man,
00:40:51.100
this, Garen, be like, nah, I don't stand for this because I absolutely would not stand for
00:40:56.680
So, so, so, do not stand for a man putting his hands on a woman.
00:41:01.500
I would tell you, I hope not, but let, take me back to this moment on the couch.
00:41:14.000
She says, we're not, we're not even supposed to talk.
00:41:20.080
At this moment, before that, I could see how you could tell yourself, well, hey, it's all
00:41:25.360
just fun, this is what they want to do, and I'm just part of what they want to do, and
00:41:29.440
I'm just here to serve the client, keep the customer satisfied.
00:41:32.900
At this moment, does it dawn on you, hey, maybe, maybe she doesn't want to be doing this.
00:41:39.820
Maybe not in those exact terms, but I was like, it was like, whoa, follow her lead, you know,
00:41:50.400
When they asked on News Nation, did you sense fear?
00:41:52.720
And I said, I didn't sense fear, but it was, it was because I was in the presence of a survivor.
00:41:57.420
Not, not just a survivor, but my mom helped me correlate these thoughts of a, not a victim,
00:42:06.220
She was, she was not a victim there, but she was a survivor, and she knew that to get through
00:42:11.340
this situation and possibly not get a beat down, she couldn't talk without her.
00:42:16.920
Why did, she tried to leave that night in the hotel, and then he drags, she was at the,
00:42:20.980
on video, she was at the, the elevator, and he catches her right before the elevator and
00:42:25.840
drags her back and kicks her and hits her and beats her, and he's just a complete animal,
00:42:29.740
Uh, but, but in that moment, he leaves, she could have run away.
00:42:39.300
The arms of, this is where, too, I'm a simple man.
00:42:45.840
I know things are very complicated, but when you break things down, uh, simply, you, you
00:42:57.320
The arms of whatever system Diddy has are much bigger than any we can perceive, that
00:43:04.420
And I say this because Diddy one time, and this is after a great session, so there's a
00:43:09.460
few, a few moments where I realized, like, I, I understood my place in a sense.
00:43:14.900
So one time, Diddy, uh, he, I get, so every time I go, I have to turn off the phone, hand
00:43:20.100
it to him first thing, hand him the phone, they take the phone every session.
00:43:23.520
And at the end of the night, comes, hands the phone in the cash, and he's like, he
00:43:27.640
comes up to me, and this was like, it was nothing, this was like very, seemed like very
00:43:32.220
No, like everything went smooth, and he's handing me my phone and stuff, he's like, hey
00:43:35.840
man, you know I know everyone's grandma and shit, right, and where they live?
00:43:43.820
So it's one of the, I just had to look at him, I didn't want to be like, he tells me.
00:43:47.700
You know where, I know where everyone's grandma.
00:43:50.160
He said, you know I know where everybody and their grandma lives, right?
00:43:54.000
And then I just had to, you know, I had to think, I had to pause, I didn't want to be
00:44:02.180
I know where you live, you know, I didn't want to play none of that game, so I just had
00:44:05.740
to like, I absorbed it and I realized, oh, I know what he's saying, you know.
00:44:14.140
And he's like, all right, and I started to look, I'm like, yeah, we're good, we're
00:44:18.400
And so he's like, all right, all right, I had to use my phone.
00:44:22.540
So he knows, he knows that what he's doing is bad.
00:44:26.340
He knows that it's degenerate, would be damaging to his reputation, even his reputation.
00:44:33.420
So, one time, I, I mean, at that time especially, I was fascinated by Cassie, and so I would bring
00:44:44.680
I had a duffel bag, I had a duffel bag with gifts and outfits or whatever, you know, to,
00:44:54.140
Gifts, like, just for her or for the performance?
00:45:05.140
I'm not, I'm not a wise spender, so I would take a portion of what they paid me and I
00:45:13.960
But I have this, I had a bag, I had a duffel bag with some outfits and a couple gifts and
00:45:20.560
So I put my bag down on a counter and like, the setting was somewhat like this, but it
00:45:25.280
was more of like a counter against the wall with some drawers and stuff.
00:45:27.800
I put my bag on the side and I had a G-Shock and I put it on the table and we go through
00:45:33.020
the whole night, the whole session and get everything done, put my watch up, go to the
00:45:40.680
And he's all, yeah, yeah, that watch, that one of those, this is what, like five, six,
00:45:48.460
It's like, yeah, hey, that watch did, that one of them with them cameras in it?
00:45:51.240
And I was like, and then I was like, my mind spins, I was like, oh yeah, it was on the
00:46:05.180
Here, you guys think, he's like, oh no, we're good, we're good.
00:46:16.460
I was like, you know what, man, I don't want to, I was like, I don't want you to have any
00:46:21.940
And I was like, nope, I just dropped it in the trash.
00:46:29.780
But he obviously was paranoid, as he should be.
00:46:39.380
You're all, if you're doing bad stuff, you, first of all, everyone knows someone's watching.
00:46:44.820
And so you, all of a sudden you think, does someone, does that guy, does my coworker know?
00:46:49.620
Does, does my wife know the thing that I just did?
00:46:53.880
I don't think you threaten, I'm going to go kill your grandma.
00:46:57.180
If it's just, you know, people might write mean things about me online.
00:47:00.980
And I'm assuming he thought I would turn around and write a book or something, you know,
00:47:05.700
Like, even, like, I, like when this all happened, my phone starts blowing up, you know, going
00:47:17.220
But, I just, I get, that's the only reason I did give a few interviews.
00:47:22.580
A lot of my buddies back home are like, oh, what did he do to him, man?
00:47:35.100
And, you know, but, you know, people's minds will wander and they have the right to, we
00:47:39.520
So, Diddy beats the racketeering charges, which are the really serious charges, like he's running
00:47:45.840
Do you think, in your fairly extensive experience, in his criminal enterprise, alleged criminal
00:47:57.140
If you were on the jury, would you have voted to find him guilty?
00:48:15.200
Simply, the symphony doesn't, it would sound like a bunch of banging rackets and it would
00:48:22.480
So, in a sense, like, you know, I did many events.
00:48:25.740
And so, as I go into the situation, I see the bottles and everything, I was like, wow,
00:48:29.900
You know, that's like one of my first thoughts.
00:48:34.740
I'm like, yeah, I don't see Diddy up here putting these bottles.
00:48:36.880
And, you know, I don't necessarily think that's a crime, setting up a situation.
00:48:45.380
And, so, in a sense, too, that's what I've come to realize is a way that the rich and powerful
00:48:50.900
get away with things, a term called plausible deniability, you know.
00:48:57.260
And, I believe he understands the game to a level.
00:49:00.720
And, he has people and places that can do things and move things in order to get his
00:49:13.680
Like, I mean, it's just like, I see myself as like, I'm like, dude, I'm a nobody.
00:49:23.360
You might be kind of a nobody, meaning you're not rich and famous.
00:49:28.780
But, you have knowledge about bad things he's doing, which means you have leverage, which
00:49:35.620
So, it's like, if you're going to send me to my maker quicker, go for it, buddy.
00:49:39.740
If you're going to send me to a better place quicker, come on.
00:49:46.660
But, I guess that's a good attitude to have, generally.
00:49:52.540
But, now, Diddy could have faced life in prison.
00:49:57.840
Given the outcome of the trial, he'll face four or five years.
00:50:00.660
He hasn't been sentenced yet, as of our conversation.
00:50:04.020
If you were afraid then, before you had spilled anything publicly, before any of this had come to
00:50:09.080
light, are you not at least a little bit afraid of reprisal now?
00:50:22.960
If he sees something like, I mean, if, I doubt it.
00:50:28.940
But, if he wants to waste energy on me, have fun.
00:50:49.240
Nothing beats firing up the grill with your friends and your family.
00:50:52.500
But, what might shock you is that over 85% of the grass-fed beef in the U.S. stores is actually imported.
00:51:00.240
There, with questionable safety standards and hidden additives that you can't even pronounce.
00:51:04.420
You might be making pangolin burgers, for all you know.
00:51:07.280
That's one reason to switch to GoodRanchers right now.
00:51:09.780
You know the other reason, the actual, the best reason to switch to GoodRanchers?
00:51:13.260
Is that it is the best meat you're going to get, period.
00:51:22.620
That CFO must be balding and ripping his shirt every day.
00:51:27.000
Because, it's just such a great product, and the price is so affordable.
00:51:32.460
Beef, chicken, pork, 100% American, sourced, born, raised right here on local family farms.
00:51:41.160
Just pure, clean meat that tastes incredible on the grill.
00:51:48.820
Folks, I had a GoodRanchers New York strip the other night.
00:51:52.040
It was better than a steak I had at a steakhouse a few days later.
00:51:58.980
Code Knowles, 40 bucks off plus free meat for life.
00:52:01.000
Because the moments that matter deserve meat that is made right.
00:52:06.620
Did you have, as you're sitting on the couch or afterward, and you realize, okay, this woman, she's a survivor.
00:52:14.720
You say, she's not afraid, and she's not a victim, but she's a survivor, which means she's surviving some bad experience, which means if she's sensible at all, she's got some fear of more bad experiences, and she's been victimized at some point such that she could survive.
00:52:30.120
Did you ever have any moral qualms to say, man, she doesn't like this, and I'm being used to inflict this on her?
00:52:43.940
I didn't see, I guess just my passion to serve.
00:52:55.300
And it took, it did take me, you know, I guess, I wouldn't say a few years, but it took me to, you know, to step out of that situation in a sense, like I guess call it breaking out of the matrix for me to see it for what it was.
00:53:06.220
Because, so there's other situations too, where like my mindset, I couldn't see it for the evil it was, especially being, obviously, I don't want to think I'm that evil.
00:53:17.900
Yes, is that, is that why, because look, we've all done it.
00:53:21.120
Whenever, I've been terrible and, well, we're all sinners, but I've been, I've been worse than at other times, you know, in my life.
00:53:29.540
And in the moment, you don't see it as clearly as you do in retrospect.
00:53:36.140
Because you don't, I said, well, I can't be the bad guy.
00:53:38.420
And for me, it was, I like to please, I like to serve.
00:53:42.440
If I'm not doing it, like some other wicked douchebag might come in and service these ladies, but it's not in the same spiritual context.
00:53:52.560
Like, you know, I give my, I wouldn't say give my soul, but I do give my heart to those times.
00:53:56.980
I listen fully, you know, and so my thought was, well, if I'm not going to see them, some other guys will.
00:54:04.240
They're not going to give them, you know, the desire.
00:54:08.420
If you're going to engage in an exploitative act or if you're going to be subjected to an exploitative act, better it be with me than with some bad guy.
00:54:16.780
That was somewhat the, I guess, how I made it okay in my own mind, you know.
00:54:22.800
And I guess the attention, too, kind of made me blind to it.
00:54:25.740
The fact that, you know, the fact that people would pay for my image, I'm like, this world's crazy.
00:54:31.160
When I started modeling, then people, then women would pay me for my time.
00:54:34.780
I'm like, these ladies are even crazier, but I must be doing something right.
00:54:38.880
And if I can, you know, obviously I'm going to pay for it, but if I can serve someone and put a smile on someone's face, I'll do it.
00:54:46.440
And even though I, now that I respect how degrading it is, my conversation with those women that maybe want to spend time with me, the conversation would be different.
00:54:53.800
You know, I would try to lead it in different directions and I would not sleep with them.
00:54:58.620
You know, I, I've, I'm not, I'm not that guy anymore, but I, I do want to have heart to heart.
00:55:05.620
The through line of all of this is you want to, you want to please people.
00:55:08.540
And even, you know, as you say, these women want this service and you say, well, I want to give it to them.
00:55:15.160
I, I, there's one time I remember I was out with a buddy.
00:55:17.260
We were at a cigar bar late at night, you know, having, having a smoke, having some drinks.
00:55:20.800
We go out and a bum on the street comes up and he says, hey, can you give me money?
00:55:29.980
I said, you don't want, you're not going to, you, you are not, don't lie to me.
00:55:32.780
You're not going to use this money to get food.
00:55:37.180
And I said, okay, well, I can't, I can't give it to you.
00:55:43.920
I was like, I have been drinking, but drinking's not that bad for me.
00:55:49.940
But drinking would be bad for you because it would make your life worse.
00:55:53.920
And I don't want to participate in making your life worse.
00:56:00.860
So when you say, well, if I were going on these dates now, the conversations would be different.
00:56:08.040
It would be much more depth of what are you seeking?
00:56:16.400
I'm one, I doubt things till I see it or live it, you know.
00:56:18.980
And so, you know, this is another instance of while in a situation like that and, you know, living in Sodom and Gomorrah, basically in L.A. where it's just pure sin.
00:56:29.100
But there was a moment, this is where it was just a kind of affirmation of the Holy Spirit.
00:56:38.620
And Diddy kind of walked around in the kitchen.
00:56:46.960
There's like an energy or spirit just about you.
00:56:55.920
Like, you know, what, how, what would make her feel like something about me?
00:57:01.520
And I come to realize that was probably my mom on her hands and knees praying for me at that moment in time.
00:57:08.160
So this is another, you become a model and then a gigolo and then a gigolo for Puff Daddy.
00:57:23.120
I don't think, I think I, I had kind of made a side reference.
00:57:28.140
I never talked straight up because I respect my clients and I don't.
00:57:30.800
Because you, you pointed off camera because you met my producer, Ben Davies, doing catering jobs back in the day.
00:57:37.340
So you, and so, but you weren't telling people that you were doing this.
00:57:41.280
I never dated girls at my work and I never, I didn't, I didn't talk about this.
00:57:45.220
No, this was, yeah, I didn't find necessarily, I wasn't proud of it necessarily.
00:57:52.940
But I, I, I appreciated serving women and making decent money.
00:57:59.640
I wasn't a wise investor, which I should have been, but I was able to just, you know, get by decently and yeah.
00:58:06.680
And you didn't expect to be brought up by prosecutors in a major criminal case years later.
00:58:18.060
It was on a Monday, just get blasted by every outlet, CNN, NBC.
00:58:22.680
And they're all, I realized, because the people article would come out.
00:58:25.160
There's a guy, actually a decent, there's this guy.
00:58:29.520
I do not like the media because in my job, I realized too, like I was, I was that fly on the wall.
00:58:37.360
And then you hear people talk about like people in the media.
00:58:39.520
It's like, it doesn't matter what the hell the truth is.
00:58:41.620
It just matters what make the peasants believe.
00:58:43.740
It's just, you just got to make your truth, their truth.
00:58:48.320
You know, I'm sorry, my brain, I forget where I was going with that.
00:58:52.820
Because you're working, as you say, you're only working the gigolo jobs a handful of days per month.
00:59:00.700
That's not, you have other days, you're working other jobs, you're catering.
00:59:04.040
So you're getting a really direct view of Gamora by the Sea when you're cocking Puff Daddy.
00:59:09.360
But you're getting another view of Gamora by the Sea when you're overhearing these hotshot A-listers at the parties.
00:59:17.540
And stuff about how, oh, we'll have, oh, well, we're going to have this in the film.
00:59:22.780
And people would talk about like how they would set up social constructs or social narratives.
00:59:27.120
They would talk about, you know, I didn't directly hear about the transgender movement.
00:59:31.860
But they would talk about how they would implement ideas through their show.
00:59:36.660
And then, well, they know this person at the Department of Education.
00:59:40.420
And then they know this person over here to enable to work this out.
00:59:44.140
So if there's ever any legal recourse, I know the prosecutor.
00:59:48.360
Talking about instilling messages in their media and stuff like subliminal type messages and things like that, too.
00:59:57.600
And I'm like, I'm hearing this, but I'm thinking, no, people aren't that stupid.
01:00:01.360
And then this is at the time where, you know, algorithms growing up and people are doing everything algorithm based.
01:00:05.780
And even as I'm hearing them say this behind closed doors, my soul is thinking, oh, people aren't that stupid.
01:00:12.460
And then you see things like the Tide Pod Challenge come out on Snapchat and things like this, where, you know.
01:00:18.440
That was when Zoomers were eating Tide Pods, right?
01:00:21.700
And it's, you know, you hear and there was a party that I had worked on.
01:00:29.720
I think it's been around a few years now, one or two.
01:00:32.740
And so it was sort of a pretty awesome party there on the pier.
01:00:37.400
And you hear guys talking about like, oh, yeah, well, that stupid bitch in high school.
01:00:42.520
I just got to tweak an algorithm and she's sending me nudes and stuff.
01:00:45.700
It's just like, you hear how they can just, you know, create the realities for, and like these people who are running these platforms and stuff, all they got to do is put in a few algorithms.
01:01:04.600
Well, and there's a parallel, too, because you're saying the part that's so confusing for people is why, if you're a rich, powerful guy, would you pay some dude to sleep with your girlfriend?
01:01:15.280
And here you're talking about the control from the level of the media executives down to just random degenerates in Hollywood.
01:01:21.880
And so, look, this is the, as far as I'm concerned, primordial sin.
01:01:27.460
This desire to be in control of everything, to make yourself into God.
01:01:31.680
You know, you shall be as gods is the promise from the serpent in the garden.
01:01:35.620
It's the premise of the liberal ideology, which is no men, no gods, no kings, only men.
01:01:44.900
So, okay, all of this is tracking my philosophical priors.
01:01:52.040
You're in this, you're working your catering jobs, then however many times per month,
01:01:56.360
you're going over, doing the gigolo gigs, cuckolding Puff Daddy, having this nice, apparently nice relationship with Cassie, his girlfriend.
01:02:08.720
How do you get out of the Puff Daddy freak-off scene?
01:02:14.760
When I realized that, you know, that thought of, I want to provide them, I want to give them the best experience, I want to provide them with a good time,
01:02:27.420
and I realized how detrimental it really was for them.
01:02:33.660
And it was, so one threshold that helped me see the depths of evil to this, and how I personally was blinded by the narrative and my own.
01:02:49.240
So there was one client I had, he was the Dean of Medicine.
01:02:53.100
The only reason I'm going to say this now, because he was arrested in like 2018.
01:03:07.180
You're talking about a guy at a prestigious school in a very serious position in medicine, engaging in a threat to public health, and...
01:03:21.420
So he had a young girl, about 21, 22, and this is where...
01:03:30.760
And this is how I got to see the true dark side, and how my own mindset, how clouded my own judgment was.
01:03:39.980
So she, or there's a box, you know, about yay big, off to the side.
01:03:46.080
He opens it up, and it's got about six, seven, eight different hardcore drugs in it.
01:03:51.920
And so they get a pipe, put some, I guess, meth in it, and just light it up right there and start smoking it.
01:03:56.980
And in my own mind, I'm thinking, well, that's the dean of medicine.
01:04:12.180
And what really disgusted me is how, you know, you would see articles written in media outlets where I would have, you know, I would have a session with the dean of medicine, and he's a disgusting...
01:04:25.680
And then you would hear the source of the information, the source for the information in that article was the dean of medicine.
01:04:35.020
So I'm just like, like, that's where I'm like, like, that's sick that they're...
01:04:42.520
It was a while back, but there was things of concern.
01:04:45.260
And the LA Times would be like, you know, headline, do this.
01:04:57.660
And what this is also what, you know, what I saw with some of the men that would, were cuckolds and would have me come in to please their ladies.
01:05:08.300
He would show me pictures and videos of about four or five black dudes doing things to her.
01:05:20.340
I did want to punch him in the face, but I was just utterly disgusted.
01:05:33.460
And he's just showing me the videos of, like, four dudes.
01:05:38.640
And there was a moment where he walked out, and he wasn't as controlling as Diddy, but he walked out, and she's sitting next to me.
01:05:46.540
And my soul, I was just, like, my soul felt it.
01:05:51.780
And so I didn't know what to ask, but I just look at her, I was, like, hey, are you okay with all this?
01:06:00.220
And she was, like, well, my mom's a drug addict.
01:06:10.480
He put the hooks in, you know, and he's going to keep.
01:06:13.680
Because there you have an admission that it's not even just that you get a girl who's psychologically messed up, but you get a girl who's a drug addict.
01:06:23.280
He's exploiting a girl who's a drug addict to feed his own degenerate sexual vices.
01:06:31.960
Because we were talking earlier about different conceptions of freedom.
01:06:39.920
And from the outside looking in, people would be, like, you get to live in a mansion with this rich man and you've done nothing?
01:06:45.780
She's, like, lack of a doubt, she's a complete slave to the drug, well, him and the drugs, and she's an absolute slave in that situation.
01:06:54.840
She turns into, who knows if she turns into, well, he's got them.
01:06:59.060
So, what, the minute you say these Degens, who are, some of whom have, well, Puff Daddy is super rich, super famous, very powerful.
01:07:10.680
But then this other guy, it's almost worse because he's got this really white collar, mainstream, supposedly respectable job.
01:07:17.320
Not that I respect university administrators all that much.
01:07:20.900
You know, I'm a little skeptical of them generally.
01:07:25.380
And they're engaging in this gross, gross stuff.
01:07:39.740
I'm sorry to cut you off, and I want to hear your point on this.
01:07:41.300
I just mean at a very direct level, how would you even get the idea to invite four dudes over to abuse your girlfriend?
01:07:58.640
I could, I'm assuming porn was the gateway, the ultimate gateway.
01:08:11.920
It's just something I, I can't fathom, that level of degeneracy.
01:08:15.360
So you say, so you make the very good point with that, because obviously godlessness.
01:08:20.640
Like, I, I could never do something so degrading to another individual.
01:08:25.440
Because God says do unto others as you would have done unto you.
01:08:28.040
And I can see, like, these guys, they don't get this type of, no one dictates what they do in this, this sort of way.
01:08:34.940
So, in a sense, like you said earlier, they're their own God.
01:08:38.540
And so this is how they, the only way they've, you know, that's a slippery slope that never ends if you serve Satan.
01:08:48.340
In fact, John Milton in Paradise Lost says, in the mouth of Satan, he says, the mind is its own place.
01:08:52.960
It can make a hell of heaven and heaven and hell.
01:08:54.500
Better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven.
01:08:57.320
Which is, which is, which is why I say it's, this is the idea, this is at the heart of the ideology of liberalism.
01:09:06.940
So, you say, you see these guys, in your mind, you're saying, I'm a Christian, I believe in God, I'm spiritual, I'm feeling vibes of souls and stuff.
01:09:14.440
But you're looking around, you're saying, well, hold on.
01:09:17.000
The people I'm literally serving in this moment are godless.
01:09:29.760
See, my dream, too, as a kid was, my mom would always tell me, you better marry a Christian girl, you better marry a Christian girl.
01:09:38.120
This is, we're in a spiritual battle here in this world.
01:09:40.520
But my goal is, I love you, mom, but I want to, I want to bring them to Christ.
01:09:46.820
And so, I know that sounds very dark and twisted, but, like, if, I hope to be that pathway one day for, for anyone, if it's one person.
01:09:58.820
What if you met a nice Christian girl and you hit it off?
01:10:01.640
Would you say, well, no, I don't want to marry you because I want the challenge of converting a sinner?
01:10:10.920
I don't want to, I'm at the point where I want that boost, not the lift up, you know.
01:10:17.680
I don't want to be trying to drag someone into Christ's path.
01:10:22.300
I want to work as a partnership in the spiritual war ring because that's what it is.
01:10:27.920
But, but, we've, I feel like we've skipped something.
01:10:46.700
Tell me, nuts and bolts, how you get out of it.
01:10:49.520
I, I can't exactly recall the last session with Diddy because his was funny.
01:10:55.580
He actually called me because I had come home about eight years ago.
01:10:59.760
I went home to Hawaii and working on my family project.
01:11:02.200
We've got a family project out there and it was about three or four months I'd been home and Diddy calls me.
01:11:08.280
He calls me and it's like four in the morning out there and he calls me.
01:11:14.720
And I was like, and this is where it goes into.
01:11:17.080
I was attempting, I was trying to talk to him and be like, hey man, you should probably come out to Hawaii sometime.
01:11:21.180
You know, I got this place where there would be no paparazzi or anything and he's like, click.
01:11:26.380
And I'm like, oh yeah, he's trying to get down to business.
01:11:29.680
I wasn't going to talk about doing any future services or nothing, but I wanted to possibly get him out to our property and like talk Christ with him.
01:11:37.460
I know that won't work, but that was, that was my goal.
01:11:41.700
You get effectively a booty call from Puff Daddy.
01:11:47.160
But anyway, you want to come hang out and get some pineapple.
01:11:53.340
I'm like, oh yeah, he just, he wants to get the business.
01:12:00.840
It was probably about four or five, five years ago.
01:12:05.140
So, okay, so you just, you can't recall the last time you worked for P. Diddy.
01:12:09.100
It was, you know, the sessions were, it was like moments like that when he would tell me, hey, my grandma, you know, I know people or, you know, that watch.
01:12:17.840
It was moments like that that stuck, but it had become a process in a sense.
01:12:21.500
I don't remember like the last one because I'm not like a numbers guy.
01:12:27.220
Because I had realized that this business operation was much darker than I thought.
01:12:33.880
And I had a conversation with Garen about, and I don't want to go too deep into it, but one of the actions of one of the other gigolos was very dirty, dark.
01:12:47.360
Like he was trying to plant his seeds into rich women, and I could see the game plan of what he was trying to do in a sense of impregnate these women and divorce them and just to screw them.
01:13:03.780
This guy was a disgusting dude, a pathetic prick.
01:13:08.000
And what he would do is he would abuse these women mentally, and he would, the ladies told me the psychological abuse he used on them and the psychological games he played to have his plan come together.
01:13:20.940
So how does he, how can they claim to be abused by him?
01:13:28.340
In a sense, like that's all I can contribute it to.
01:13:32.080
But it's where, you know, they had a connection with him, but then, you know, I guess with time, his true intentions would come through, and then so it would get dark.
01:13:43.180
And then, you know, they, he would, he would, they would, the ladies would tell me that he would tell them, hey, you have to see me.
01:13:50.940
Like, you know, you better be ready, because I'm coming.
01:13:53.500
And so they'd be like, all right, you know, like, okay.
01:13:56.500
And I guess it was a sense of submission, you know, and they just.
01:13:59.720
A sense of submission, like, like they were into it?
01:14:03.000
Sort of, you know, I guess in a say, in a way too.
01:14:05.640
Like, even this guy was twisted and distorted, and I'm kind of just the very, I'm the opposite.
01:14:10.400
Like, I love to serve, I'll do anything for you.
01:14:14.000
Well, he was the, like, I own you, and you're going to do this for me.
01:14:18.100
I'm assuming, you know, and those are the stories he told.
01:14:20.180
So this actually, okay, this starts to make sense, and it helps to make sense of the Cassie P. Diddy situation too, which is, you could say,
01:14:28.940
in this situation, the woman could say, I want a man to be really mean to me.
01:14:36.420
I could see, I do see how that was, and it's one of those things, getting into it, I never thought that a woman would want that.
01:14:42.380
I thought women want to be treated like queens, princesses, but there is a side that, like, women, some women do like to be choked.
01:14:48.380
Some women do like to get, you know, they like to know the man's in control.
01:14:52.660
But this is what, this is what St. Paul talks about, when St. Paul says, the things I want to do, I don't do, and the things that I don't want to do, I do.
01:14:59.840
That, that to a modern liberal person doesn't make any sense, because you do the things you want to do, and you don't do the things that you don't want to do.
01:15:10.840
We do, there are parts of us that are concupiscent, that want, that just want to sin, that want, want some guy to beat him up, or want some, you know, some, for the guys, want, want to do some gross thing with a woman.
01:15:23.700
And you, you can, you're the lower part of you can want that, whereas the higher part of you can know, I don't really want that.
01:15:32.960
And so I guess that was kind of the, what pushed me out the door, is when I realized that this was much darker, and wasn't as friendly to the women as I thought.
01:15:49.620
And the relationship that the owner of the company and these ladies had, when I, when I had informed him of some of the actions of one of his men, and how, on, of this company I thought it was, and just, just outright.
01:16:09.080
Yeah, and just, there were things that this could, like, destroy the company, because what he's doing, if these women hire a good lawyer and play this out, this all could come back around.
01:16:18.260
So I was trying to inform him, like, hey, you got to get rid of this guy, because here's what's going on.
01:16:28.100
And then he was like, did you guys exchange numbers?
01:16:31.780
Because there were times she was on her, you know, she wasn't doing so well, and she reached out to me, and I had a conversation with her.
01:16:37.380
And I was like, I'll give you back any money you want, and I'll pay you whatever you want, because she did, you know, we did communicate.
01:16:48.720
Once I realized that it was, that's when I realized, like, it was for the company, it was just, it's a business, it's money.
01:16:54.900
So whatever we've got to do to show up, show up more.
01:16:58.240
Even if you've got to degrade these women, put them down, it doesn't matter, more business.
01:17:02.960
Right, right, because you would hope that at some point the owner of the agency and the workers would say, well, people aren't commodities to be bought and sold.
01:17:12.200
People are people, but it also sheds light on the freak-offs, because I can totally understand in principle how the freak-off started, because it's like any party.
01:17:24.680
It's like, it starts at, wouldn't this be fun if we all, hey, let's all have a drink.
01:17:31.520
Well, you know what's more fun than one drink is two drinks.
01:17:38.860
And then you know what's more fun than two drinks?
01:17:41.840
Actually, ten drinks is less fun than two drinks.
01:17:45.120
What if we had a bunch of our girlfriends here?
01:17:49.100
And what if we had, like, multiple girlfriends here?
01:17:53.780
I mean, you know, 99 problems, and, you know, sometimes you get, sometimes more money is more problems, too.
01:17:59.560
I'm learning all these lessons from rappers, but all of a sudden, you can very easily see how what started out as, like, more, more, more, fun, fun, fun, becomes tedious, tedious, painful, nauseating, just gross.
01:18:18.200
And that's exactly, I mean, not necessarily exactly, but that portrays my journey in that industry.
01:18:23.800
It was, like, in the beginning, very, seemed very, I'm able to provide a service for these ladies.
01:18:31.060
They get the time spent with a man without the hassle.
01:18:35.000
But as, like, it got more into it, and, like, the more times I spent with Diddy and Cassie, it's, like, it devolved into, you could just feel, in a sense, the spirit darken and the mood.
01:18:44.160
And it was a lot more orchestrated rather than flow, you know.
01:18:48.380
It was much more dictated than in the early days, you know.
01:18:51.280
So the early performances were more improvised, you're saying?
01:18:56.020
It seemed, I mean, I don't know how long they'd been, I know they'd been seeing other guys prior to me, but it seemed a lot more fluid, you know, early on.
01:19:03.780
It seemed cordial, the spirit was softer, it seemed.
01:19:08.120
But, you know, I don't know if that was me coming in with clear eyes, in a sense.
01:19:12.000
Obviously, we've been talking about the male escort world.
01:19:18.580
Is the experience different, the approach, the business?
01:19:23.160
Would you even know that, since, obviously, you've only been on one side of it?
01:19:28.580
I didn't interact with too many female workers.
01:19:33.920
Even our guys, I didn't see any of the other guys on the team.
01:19:38.760
It just was a straightforward business operation, in a sense.
01:19:44.580
Yeah, I would like to try to understand it from a woman's perspective, but I haven't had a sit down and chat.
01:19:54.940
And my assumption would be, you know, especially in that scene in L.A., seeing like how, one thing, I didn't realize attention was such a drug, you know.
01:20:07.040
I didn't necessarily get that high from attention, but, of course, it does feel good to be wanted or appreciated by a woman and such.
01:20:14.540
But, you know, I do believe the attention, along with the money, has a large factor to play for a woman.
01:20:22.240
Now, all of these experiences you've been describing with Diddy were at, it seems like it was more private.
01:20:28.540
It was just you at their house or the hotel or something.
01:20:38.520
I'm very grateful because I'm the type, too, if there's a party, I like to party.
01:20:45.320
But I'm also very respectful of my own sexual ways.
01:20:54.740
Who knows what would have happened at a Diddy party.
01:20:58.000
It was only me, him, and her, no bodyguards, none of that.
01:21:04.760
Did you ever, because I know at the parties, he hired female prostitutes, too.
01:21:10.800
But there were no female prostitutes involved in your experience.
01:21:19.760
Well, you know, but the guy said I was much different than their circle.
01:21:30.360
So you actually had a closer, more intimate look at their dynamic and his perversity than
01:21:43.360
The guys at the freak-offs, though, there's like a thousand of them.
01:21:55.380
Was it always just these intimate little escort dates, just one woman?
01:21:59.360
Or were you invited to other Hollywood parties?
01:22:02.340
And how different was the Diddy experience in the Diddy Empire from your run-of-the-mill
01:22:07.860
Uh, I would say just as far as like production goes.
01:22:12.140
So there, it was like there, so the other dates, you know, I'd go out, we'd go see the
01:22:19.320
And then it would end up, you know, at a, at an intimate setting.
01:22:22.720
There, it just was always, it was always a production.
01:22:25.200
Every single time was for that scene, that point in time.
01:22:31.200
There was one time I got called at night and then called back again at 6 a.m.
01:22:35.060
So, I don't, I didn't know what was going on, but I don't know if they had a party in between
01:22:52.260
This, this, you available this hour, this time, A-listers show up and the payment, you
01:22:57.600
know, I'd go to the bank, send him his, his payment and cycle repeats.
01:23:03.780
When you say the scene, what, what, with Diddy and, and Cassie, it sounds like, and then
01:23:14.240
Was it, was it a performance like, you know, okay, I'm, you're the pizza boy now or something
01:23:19.200
or was it a, how, how directed, how scripted was it?
01:23:22.640
See, I, well, I, I was going to try to propose that to Diddy one day that we, I'm, cause I'm
01:23:27.100
like a, I'm not a white angel, but I'm white and I'm a lot softer than him.
01:23:31.560
So I was going to try to propose a setting where her and I are having dinner and, you know,
01:23:35.600
we get a little flirty and he gets to do his thing and watch.
01:23:38.660
And then he comes in as the demon and control the situation.
01:23:43.060
But we never, uh, I never was able to bring that up or anything cause it was all his direction.
01:23:52.360
If every scene was completely controlled and set up by him.
01:23:56.840
So if we tried to introduce anything, it just, whatever he wanted, more baby oil, you
01:24:03.300
know, candle here is like hundreds or not hundreds, like 50, 60 candles set up.
01:24:09.340
When you say you use this term angel and demon, you, you mean like in the scene that you had
01:24:13.120
written for yourself, you would literally play an angel?
01:24:16.800
I'm like the soft guy having a fun or a flirty.
01:24:23.160
And then, cause that was the scene I had playing out in my head.
01:24:27.320
You know, I'm, I'm, I'm there taking direction, but I'm, you know, I'm not him.
01:24:35.160
So that was kind of the, I was trying to elaborate with them and just grow our situations.
01:24:39.980
There was a time I proposed to her, Hey, just, if you want me to come over, just send
01:24:48.900
And I'll bring an outfit or something in correlation.
01:24:58.200
You spoke to Diddy once since when he called you when you were in Hawaii.
01:25:04.280
This is a question from ignorance of pop culture.
01:25:19.520
And I do believe it was one of her personal trainers that became her husband.
01:25:23.940
And he was at, I saw a clip where he was at one of the cases and he got walked out or
01:25:32.440
But, and that's, you know, I wish the absolute best for him, you know, to be able to move on
01:25:37.780
and from, from what she experienced and to have a family, it's, it's a beautiful thing.
01:25:43.360
So what about, cause you, you've got this very nice sort of resilient spirit where you're
01:25:46.700
kind of looking on the bright side and saying, Oh, that was a mistake.
01:25:51.320
But you don't want to paper, you don't want to paper over bad things.
01:25:55.280
You don't want to, you want to learn from your mistakes and go on to have that be sanctifying
01:26:00.460
So is there, if you, if you look back, there's this thread of your people pleaser and all
01:26:04.740
is there anything that led you to become a gigolo that you have corrected so that you
01:26:12.660
get to go in a better direction moving forward?
01:26:16.200
Uh, you know, like the, I'll gauge challenges and opportunities now instead of just jumping
01:26:22.000
head in, I'll have to do a, you know, uh, how does this, how, how does this sit spiritually?
01:26:28.480
Uh, you know, you could look at the, I could simply look at the 10 commandments and help
01:26:39.140
I'm not Christian, but there's, that's a long story behind that one.
01:26:41.960
That's too, uh, been out of my church for some time now, but I, I will always love and
01:27:01.660
I could even make your recommendation in Hawaii.
01:27:03.560
They're not on the big Island of Hawaii, but I'm sure I could find one.
01:27:11.100
I'm not just because what I fear from your story is you tell me I made these mistakes,
01:27:18.080
And I thought it was good at the time, which is, which is an admission that sometimes our
01:27:24.020
I thought, I felt I was Christian at the time and I felt I was serving God at the time,
01:27:27.560
And so then you have to ask yourself, well, how do you know if you're serving God now in
01:27:31.640
And there are certain things you can do that God tells us to do that Christians have done for,
01:27:36.500
for 2000 years and that the ancient Israelites did before that, which are, you know, he wants,
01:27:41.480
he tells you to go to church, tells you to keep holy the Sabbath day.
01:27:44.660
He tells you to, uh, gives you 10 commandments.
01:27:48.080
He gives you a church before he even gives you a Bible.
01:27:51.100
He gives you a church, which, which, uh, creates the canon of the Bible and the church
01:27:55.640
And basically you don't have to do it all on your own.
01:27:59.120
You know, there are all these wonderful resources.
01:28:04.740
I, I hate to, I, uh, yeah, I, that's one of my things.
01:28:10.680
I, uh, but isn't that the very same kind of, uh, disordered desire for independence that
01:28:16.180
maybe, that maybe you saw even in your clients in your old life, the desire to do it all on
01:28:23.760
your own, make your own world, all your own, just have it, have it be all about all you.
01:28:29.880
That's, yeah, that's, that's, that's a hill I'm, I'm trying to climb and overcome.
01:28:35.240
You know, that's, that's one of my, you know, piece to my puzzle I'm looking to, uh, figure
01:28:42.200
I know I never figure it out, but I know I need to figure it out.
01:28:44.700
And I, I say it too, because though I've, I've never been a gigolo or invited to, you
01:28:48.680
know, any ditty parties or anything like that, but I can sense in myself sometimes a disordered
01:28:57.720
There's a desire to control things, do it your way, get, get your will done.
01:29:02.960
And sometimes I have to correct that and say, oh, maybe that's not.
01:29:08.460
See, my, my battle with the church right now is that when, during the COVID times, I wanted,
01:29:17.220
I, I thought it was, I did not like closing the doors.
01:29:29.640
And how I, like, I was hoping if it was just my pastor, I wanted to be up there with him.
01:29:33.720
If everyone was afraid to come in, let's open the doors for all who are willing.
01:29:37.340
And how I saw it is like, if it's part of our plan to die, God's in control of that.
01:29:44.420
And then, so see too, like from what I had seen in my experience with the media, the doctor, the dean of medicine,
01:29:52.380
I saw that these narratives are used to control us.
01:29:57.000
Like, you know, like did a little digging on, oh, why do we have such a, why do we have such a, in the early days of COVID going into it?
01:30:06.480
Oh, because the media saw that they can sensationalize a story when there was an 18-wheeler, I think it was in Milwaukee or something, that had overturned.
01:30:14.420
So there was pictures of toilet paper all out on the road.
01:30:17.640
So they sensationalized that, take it nationwide to get everyone to be under this control of, this fear.
01:30:24.080
Yeah, there was a real promotion of survival fear.
01:30:25.980
And you're right, there were a bunch of churches and religious communities that closed.
01:30:30.560
You know, we luckily, I was able to keep going to church, though there were Protestant, Catholic, a lot of churches kind of, but even there was a pretty liberal Catholic church in Hollywood that they ended up doing mass outside and you couldn't go inside.
01:30:45.700
They kept, they kept the doors open, but they, they don't, and there was this probably 90-year-old priest who, kind of a, kind of a liberal guy for being a Catholic priest, 90-year-old guy.
01:30:57.260
And this guy was hearing confessions through an open door in the bank.
01:31:02.240
He wouldn't stop hearing confessions, even though he was the most vulnerable, actually, of being an older guy.
01:31:07.560
And he wouldn't, I thought, that's exactly the right attitude.
01:31:09.740
That's exactly, you have to, you don't want the servile fear that, of this whole world that you're, this fetid, corrupt world that you're describing.
01:31:20.340
Where it's not just about, it's not just about you.
01:31:22.580
And that's where I, I want to, I have my own, my own personal battles.
01:31:28.020
I respect and love my pastor that he didn't want, he closed the church because he didn't want anyone to get hurt.
01:31:34.380
That he, he was worried of his people around him were getting sick and, and such.
01:31:41.640
And he shouldn't, he shouldn't have closed the church.
01:31:43.680
You can say he had the best of intentions, but he did wrong.
01:31:53.720
I can give you some recommendations maybe in Hawaii.
01:31:57.180
I mean, it's a, it's a virtue, you know, that you, you look on the bright side of things.
01:32:01.420
And if, if you can, if, if you can pair that with reality, not just a delusional kind of bright side,
01:32:08.580
but if you compare the, seeing the good in things in, while seeing things really as they are, that's a wonderful way forward.
01:32:15.100
That's, that's, that's where this, this journey, you know, in my Christian walk, you know, I, I struggle to read the Bible because I have ADHD.
01:32:25.100
I read about two, three pages and I'm almost sleepy.
01:32:27.140
But I would read scriptures, you know, of how, like in a sense, the doctor, I saw him in a position of respect and adoration where what he says should be true.
01:32:38.180
But when you see what he's really doing, he's a disgusting liar.
01:32:43.380
There can be a lot of disillusionment because even with pastors and priests, they can be totally.
01:32:48.620
Where I was going to is as I got deep into the word, I would read about the false Pharisees and the false, those in the church that may use their position and such in order to deceive.
01:32:58.140
Just as, you know, like I take this example too.
01:33:00.660
My, my worldly vision of Satan, his big orange, ugly demon, ah, scary guy.
01:33:09.360
No, Satan is the most beautiful angel our eyes can see.
01:33:18.900
And that is the tool right there is the deception.
01:33:23.020
You know, there was an ancient heresy called, is that docetism?
01:33:26.420
I think it was docetism, which, which said that the efficacy of the church's sacraments depended on the sanctity of the priest.
01:33:34.460
So if the priest were a bad guy, you know, if you got baptized by a bad guy, well, maybe your baptism isn't valid.
01:33:41.060
Happily, that was rejected as heresy because God is bigger than the men who run the church.
01:33:47.160
So you could, you could be baptized by some total degenerate who's, ah, I don't know, who's maybe hiring guys like you used to be and, but.
01:33:59.160
And God, God, and that's, that's where I struggle is.
01:34:01.660
I know that God knows the true intentions of the heart and such.
01:34:04.960
And so in those situations where I may assume, because there are times where people at our church were telling us to wear masks and do these things.
01:34:12.700
And I saw that as, that's the mark of the beast.
01:34:19.360
It's not, like, you're not, it doesn't, you're not getting 666 on your forehead, but you are succumbing to the fears of non-sensitive fears.
01:34:25.100
If you're, if you're doing something that's, that's totally irrational, that's not actually helping public health as just a fear symbol, then, yeah, you're probably, you're probably right about that.
01:34:37.580
But either way, it's an old heresy and it isn't true, and we got rid of it.
01:34:40.340
But that, that's, that's good to, it's good to recognize, it's good that even in the depths of your sin, you were recognizing God is still there.
01:34:51.840
But, but of course, then you got to, you got to do something about it as you're doing it.
01:34:55.960
You got to get to action instead of just, just, just talk about it and say it.
01:35:00.240
And this is why I, this is one of the reasons I haven't attended, I haven't been to my church in so many years, is that my, I don't want to go in and turn tables, but I, because, that's Jesus.
01:35:10.420
You don't have to, you don't have to, you don't need to be in control.
01:35:17.260
Maybe you can go back to your old church, but it does, you don't need to, you don't need to save the world.
01:35:25.180
It's like many times, like, you know, I always want what's best, but like, I, I can't make every situation best.
01:35:32.900
So then on this point, maybe this is a, this is a good point to end on.
01:35:37.780
You've come out of this very degenerate lifestyle and you're moving in the right direction.
01:35:54.620
Uh, the only two words for Diddy is find Jesus.
01:35:57.300
There's no other, and my opinion is nothing else in this world that can satisfy him.
01:36:02.480
There's no conceivable, you know, on that path, like, it's, it's no end to his path.
01:36:11.480
And to Cassie, um, I hope to shake her hand again one day and thank her for, you know, her professionalism through our time together.
01:36:23.960
Even though, even through all that, like, it's, uh, yeah.
01:36:26.300
I got lots of respect for her, but I, I wish the absolute best that she's going to be in my prayers, you know.
01:36:32.340
I don't, I don't love her like a lover, but I love her as a fellow child of God, you know.
01:36:37.080
And, and you're wishing the best for Diddy, too.
01:36:47.740
But I want, I mean, I, like, I, that's the thing, too.
01:36:50.520
Like, I, I do want to party with every soul up there in heaven, you know, like.
01:36:56.860
The good kind of one that, and, you know, like, I, I, I, like, I can't, I don't want to proclaim that Diddy's gone.
01:37:03.320
That's a demon that has no, there's no reconciliation.
01:37:08.720
You know, God's greater than what I see possible.
01:37:11.240
And if some degenerate like that can bow before Christ, he can lead many.
01:37:15.500
So, I'll have faith instead of, you know, instead of just counting it off.
01:37:21.280
But absolutely, I mean, I, I want him to have the purest form of justice, times 10.
01:37:27.020
You deserve that upon yourself, plus much worse.
01:37:29.480
But in the course of justice, none of us should see salvation.
01:37:34.120
And that's, with salvation, God's, he's the true order of justice, so.
01:37:45.020
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