The Michael Knowles Show - October 26, 2024


Rob Schneider Vs Michael Knowles! FACE-OFF： Movies


Episode Stats

Length

51 minutes

Words per Minute

181.98257

Word Count

9,326

Sentence Count

909

Misogynist Sentences

23

Hate Speech Sentences

14


Summary

Rob Schneider and Michael Knowles join the show to discuss how they met, how they got into comedy, and how they became friends. They also talk about the TSA, airport security, and Rob's new book, Rob s New Book: Who Knows Who?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 In The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Steve Carell did something very painful for the first time on camera for the film.
00:00:06.300 What was it?
00:00:07.040 He waxed his chest.
00:00:08.900 Take direction from Jed Adler.
00:00:12.500 No! Carolee Clarkson!
00:00:14.520 Recently, Hollywood has turned into Holly weird, as if our movies have been pimped out like some male gigolo.
00:00:20.520 It's no longer run by grown-ups.
00:00:22.220 It's as if it's run by the woke mobs or the animals who refuse to give us what we want.
00:00:26.540 Laughs, loves, more hot chicks.
00:00:28.340 If you didn't like those movie puns in this intro, well, then f*** you from L.A.
00:00:33.140 If you didn't get that last one or the others didn't make any sense, it's probably because they were movies starring Michael Knowles, which no one has seen.
00:00:40.020 But if you did like a few of them, it's because you've actually seen good comedy movies, particularly ones with Rob Schneider.
00:00:46.260 Now, both of these men have graced the silver screen.
00:00:49.600 They have both been called, quote, racist, unfunny, and genuinely offensive by critics, possibly because they both played Native Americans on camera.
00:00:57.100 But who knows more about movies and Sodom and Gomorrah by the sea?
00:01:01.020 We'll find out after you click the subscribe button.
00:01:03.780 This is Face Off.
00:01:04.640 Gentlemen, thank you so much for joining the show.
00:01:10.980 Thank you, Ben, for having me on my own show.
00:01:13.640 I think that was your best intro yet.
00:01:15.740 I like how you compared my film career probably with a cumulative budget of movies of like $17 to the career of Rob Schneider, one of the most famous and successful movie actors of his generation.
00:01:31.120 But anyway, Rob, thank you for coming on the show as well.
00:01:33.360 Thank you, Michael.
00:01:34.240 I just remember being slightly scared when I ran into the airport in LAX.
00:01:39.080 It was like four years ago.
00:01:40.900 I cannot believe that you remember.
00:01:42.660 This was – that was years and years ago.
00:01:45.620 And we were at – we were both taken out for TSA secondary screening, and I wanted to commit homicide.
00:01:52.900 I was so angry and mean.
00:01:56.160 And then you – I was so – because you were really nice to the guy.
00:01:59.160 And I said, all right, man, if Rob Schneider is going to be nice to the guy, I got to be nice too.
00:02:02.200 It's just – I know you do get – you realize that there's tension in your life.
00:02:05.900 And it's like those slight – those inconveniences in our liberties.
00:02:11.260 You know, you just kind of get used to them.
00:02:13.700 But just because that one Englishman, Richard Reed, decided to put, you know, a bomb in his tennis chute, wires sticking out.
00:02:21.080 For the rest of our life, we have to get our balls x-rayed, you know, and take our shoes off.
00:02:25.840 And at a certain point, we've got to go, enough of this.
00:02:28.160 We're adults.
00:02:28.960 I think we're okay.
00:02:29.820 I think if somebody sees some wires in their shoes, they'll say something.
00:02:33.980 But I remember seeing you, Michael.
00:02:36.400 I remember going, oh, Michael.
00:02:37.860 Like, ah, that guy's really outspoken.
00:02:39.820 Like, oh, my goodness.
00:02:41.300 He's out of the mainstream.
00:02:42.380 Now you're like the calmest.
00:02:44.260 Everything is – everything you say is total mainstream.
00:02:46.660 It's all backed up.
00:02:47.440 It's just – you were just ahead of the curve.
00:02:49.340 Well, thank you.
00:02:50.640 I couldn't have said it better myself about the, you know, getting the things x-rayed with the wires coming out.
00:02:56.620 I totally agree.
00:02:57.840 You know, now – remember the guy was masturbating because the pictures were too –
00:03:01.700 so instead of eliminating the pictures with the TSA guy, so they just made it more complicated for him
00:03:07.600 and made him use more of his imagination to masturbate by making the pictures a little fuzzier.
00:03:13.240 It's like, hey, no, let's have a not x-raying people.
00:03:16.500 That's not a good thing.
00:03:17.340 Let's just, like, metal detector works good enough.
00:03:20.420 You know what I mean?
00:03:20.980 Rob, you've somehow made my perception of going through airport security even worse than it –
00:03:25.600 it was already pretty low, but wow.
00:03:29.340 Now I feel off-footed.
00:03:30.860 Ben, how am I going to win this game now?
00:03:32.360 I just think you should think, you know, you can do it and stay focused the whole time.
00:03:36.400 We have about 15 of these questions to get through, and then by the end,
00:03:39.120 we will definitively know who knows more about movies because you guys are both basically the same.
00:03:42.620 I ran through y'all's careers.
00:03:44.180 I mean, it lines up so perfectly.
00:03:45.260 Hold on, I still want to delay your game again a little bit, Ben,
00:03:48.720 because I want to point out the next time you get on an airplane, or you don't get on an airplane,
00:03:52.500 you should bring Rob's new book with you.
00:03:55.560 You can do it.
00:03:57.900 Speak Your Mind America.
00:03:59.460 Get that –
00:04:00.200 I wish we could talk about the book because it's really good.
00:04:03.040 It is.
00:04:04.660 It's right up your alley.
00:04:05.840 I got an advanced copy of the book, and it really is terrific.
00:04:10.100 Something I like about it is it's not just polemical.
00:04:13.760 It's not just funny.
00:04:14.480 It's very funny.
00:04:15.200 But it is also quite personal.
00:04:17.800 You actually talk about your family's story and your personal life in there too,
00:04:21.220 and it's really terrific.
00:04:22.440 Good to be read on an airplane or off an airplane.
00:04:24.380 Yeah, I've tried to make it like each chapter about the length of what it takes to take a dump on the toilet.
00:04:30.260 You know, how long an extended dump.
00:04:32.440 You know, a dump and a half is basically what I try to keep to.
00:04:36.240 But it was fun.
00:04:37.460 I've never written a book before, and I was like –
00:04:39.700 I've never thought that free speech would be under attack in the freest country in the history of the world,
00:04:44.440 but here it is.
00:04:45.120 Here we are, and you see it.
00:04:47.520 Like I said, you were ahead of the curve on this.
00:04:49.340 So what kind of game are we talking about here, Michael?
00:04:51.580 Some dumb, stupid game.
00:04:53.400 I love you.
00:04:53.900 You've mentioned the scholarly length of a chapter,
00:04:56.560 which is supposed to be according to, I think, the MLA handbook about a dump and a half.
00:05:03.620 So, Ben, what are the rules?
00:05:04.740 It takes about as long as it takes to make a dump so that we can fly through this.
00:05:08.520 Basically, you will have 30 seconds to answer one of these questions by the end.
00:05:12.380 The winner will get a 30-second commercial from the loser for either
00:05:15.660 why people should watch their show or buy their book.
00:05:18.160 Are you ready, gentlemen?
00:05:19.340 I'm ready.
00:05:19.920 Yeah.
00:05:20.240 All right.
00:05:20.900 First question.
00:05:21.780 On CBC broadcast on Christmas Day, President Donald Trump was removed from what classic film?
00:05:30.760 Okay.
00:05:31.560 All right.
00:05:32.020 What do you have, Michael?
00:05:32.920 I say Home Alone 2.
00:05:34.500 Rob?
00:05:36.480 I say Home Alone 2 Lost in New York, which I think is the correct title.
00:05:40.560 That is the correct title, and they are both the correct answer, gentlemen.
00:05:43.780 Excuse me.
00:05:44.420 Where's the lobby?
00:05:45.640 Down the hall and to the left.
00:05:47.320 Thanks.
00:05:48.700 I don't lose points, even though Rob was much more thorough in his answer.
00:05:52.320 It was much more thorough.
00:05:53.080 Okay.
00:05:53.320 But no.
00:05:53.520 Yeah, I mean, I thought, like, you know, if you...
00:05:55.360 But anyway, okay, we don't have to do that.
00:05:56.840 We don't have to do that.
00:05:58.260 All right.
00:05:58.860 We'll see if this next one's thorough.
00:06:00.000 In the Top Gun Maverick trailer, which flag was originally removed from Pete Maverick Mitchell's jacket, but later put back on in the theatrical release?
00:06:10.340 Was it A, Taiwan?
00:06:11.940 B, the British flag?
00:06:13.520 C, the Japanese flag?
00:06:15.220 Or D, let's go Brandon?
00:06:23.720 10 seconds.
00:06:24.540 Rob's really writing for a long time.
00:06:26.260 I'm wondering about this answer.
00:06:27.740 I'm like, what is he going to write that's going to get us kicked off YouTube?
00:06:31.460 Okay.
00:06:32.300 All right, what do you have, Rob?
00:06:32.880 Taiwanese flag because of the Chinese back.
00:06:42.540 That also the technically thorough answer, too.
00:06:45.180 That is correct.
00:06:46.460 It is both correct.
00:06:47.420 We are tied up, gentlemen.
00:06:49.020 That was a better question than the first one.
00:06:50.720 I think everybody knows that one because Donald Trump's only been in one movie.
00:06:53.540 Is that really his only cameo?
00:06:55.680 Yeah.
00:06:56.500 Wow.
00:06:57.140 Yeah, maybe not.
00:06:58.300 We had to put him in it because it was his hotel.
00:07:00.640 He was walking around in front of the camera.
00:07:03.180 I go, maybe if we put him in it, he'll go away.
00:07:06.500 We're losing light here.
00:07:07.560 We got to make sure we got to get this Donald out of here.
00:07:09.540 Is that a true story?
00:07:10.260 Because there were some articles written that he forced himself on set and he said, no,
00:07:13.600 they asked me to.
00:07:14.380 They're really gracious.
00:07:16.760 See, Donald Trump didn't used to be this hated guy.
00:07:19.220 I remember 10 years ago, the 40th anniversary of Saturday Night Live.
00:07:22.580 Everybody was happy to see him.
00:07:24.080 I mean, he was in the same elevator with Alec Baldwin.
00:07:26.700 They didn't seem to have a problem together.
00:07:28.040 I was in the same elevator with him.
00:07:29.360 And all of a sudden, it's just because of the, it just became a madness.
00:07:33.900 You know, when they say, I always thought that the term Trump derangement syndrome was
00:07:37.580 a bit exaggerated.
00:07:38.700 But now I realize it's an understatement.
00:07:41.320 People, you know how like in the NFL, when people get a dinger, they got to go in the
00:07:45.800 blue tent, you know, like when they get a head injury.
00:07:49.480 That's what happens to liberals and Democrats when Donald Trump comes up.
00:07:53.280 They have to like take them in, they have to put them in the, in the Democrat blue tent
00:07:56.820 till they, you know, till they come out.
00:07:59.780 That is the big blue tent.
00:08:01.220 Actually, it's, it's referring specifically to that.
00:08:04.240 All right.
00:08:04.500 This one might be a little more difficult.
00:08:05.880 It's not multiple choice.
00:08:07.300 Here we go.
00:08:08.320 Gene Wilder read the script for Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and only agreed to
00:08:12.540 play the part.
00:08:13.340 If this character could do this one action on film, what was that action?
00:08:18.020 Huh.
00:08:19.320 Rob's writing quick, Michael.
00:08:20.540 I thought it was a good sign.
00:08:23.020 Uh.
00:08:25.640 It's an action too.
00:08:26.880 It's not a line.
00:08:28.160 Just as a hint.
00:08:32.040 All right.
00:08:32.700 You ready?
00:08:33.740 Okay.
00:08:34.360 Michael, what do you have?
00:08:35.380 Mary Gilda Radner.
00:08:36.720 Was that, I don't think that was in the movie.
00:08:39.760 That was more outside the movie maybe.
00:08:41.920 I don't know.
00:08:42.160 That was after the movie.
00:08:44.520 Way after.
00:08:45.600 I think she was 14 when that movie came out.
00:08:49.540 What do you have, Rob?
00:08:52.440 Um, let me see.
00:08:53.860 Limp, fall down and get up so we can show it's all an illusion.
00:08:58.560 That is correct.
00:08:59.940 Basically word for word.
00:09:01.440 His reasoning was that it was simple.
00:09:03.280 He knew that from that time on, no one would know if he was lying or telling the truth.
00:09:08.020 They let him do that.
00:09:12.160 That's impressive there, Rob.
00:09:20.900 It's not looking good for Michael Knowles.
00:09:22.280 Not looking good.
00:09:24.300 Yikes.
00:09:24.820 Michael, I feel like you're going to help push my book today.
00:09:29.720 Through my humiliating defeat at this game.
00:09:32.160 Wow.
00:09:32.380 All right, number four.
00:09:33.600 What is the title of the most expensive movie ever made when adjusted for inflation?
00:09:38.180 Is it A, Cleopatra?
00:09:40.120 B, Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides?
00:09:42.780 C, Avengers Endgame?
00:09:44.580 D, Waterworld?
00:09:45.880 I wasn't going to answer any of those.
00:09:47.860 Were you going to put like Lady Ballers or something?
00:09:49.780 No, I thought it was Avatar.
00:09:51.020 Five seconds, Michael.
00:09:54.540 All right, what do you have, Michael?
00:09:55.760 I said Waterworld because it's like the weirdest one.
00:09:58.480 It's close.
00:09:59.480 Rob?
00:09:59.800 I mean, it's close.
00:10:01.600 There's only four answers.
00:10:03.940 Cleopatra is wrong.
00:10:06.400 But the reason I want to bring it up, even though it's wrong, because I want Michael to
00:10:09.820 get back into the game.
00:10:11.000 But also, Cleopatra, which cost $12 million in 1961, it bankrupted Marvin Davis and they
00:10:19.760 had to actually sell a big chunk of most of 20th Century Fox had to be sold then.
00:10:25.840 And that's why Century City exists now, because of that.
00:10:29.780 Well, it used to be.
00:10:30.700 Yeah, Martin Lando was a friend of mine.
00:10:32.540 He was one of the actors in that movie.
00:10:34.280 And he actually said, the four-hour version was good.
00:10:37.080 They cut it down too much.
00:10:38.340 But, of course, the great Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, they had an affair when she
00:10:46.960 was married to Eddie Fisher.
00:10:48.560 And that took over the film.
00:10:50.240 And nobody wanted to see the film after that.
00:10:52.660 So what happened was, they literally, I mean, you got to understand how big 20th Century Fox
00:10:57.000 was.
00:10:57.820 You could have three Westerns all filming at the same time on that lot, 20th Century lot,
00:11:04.120 and the crews would never even see each other.
00:11:06.580 So after Cleopatra went bankrupt, I mean, bankrupted the studio, they had to sell it off.
00:11:12.860 And that's why you have all those entertainment lawyers now.
00:11:16.380 Wow.
00:11:17.400 They're the real job creators.
00:11:18.740 So, Ben, what was the answer?
00:11:20.200 The answer is Cleopatra wouldn't adjust it for his place.
00:11:22.000 But Rob just said it's not the answer.
00:11:23.200 And I trust him more than I trust you.
00:11:25.140 I thought that would be wrong.
00:11:26.300 So Cleopatra, what's the adjusted one for that?
00:11:28.520 It's over $400 million.
00:11:29.520 The next closest is actually on Stranger Tides, the Pirates of the Caribbean movie.
00:11:32.660 It was pretty close, which was way over budget, but still adjusted for inflation.
00:11:36.920 Cleopatra still beats it out by about $4 million.
00:11:39.240 I just thought I'd be wrong, but I'm glad I took the guess.
00:11:42.420 And it ended up being right.
00:11:43.840 Rob was trying to help me, and I'm still losing.
00:11:48.740 Wow.
00:11:49.320 Wow.
00:11:49.900 All right.
00:11:50.620 All right.
00:11:51.280 Number five.
00:11:52.060 What did Christian Bale weigh in The Machinist?
00:11:54.960 For reference, Christian Bale allegedly weighed 240 pounds in his next film, Batman Begins.
00:12:00.140 But what did he get down to in The Machinist?
00:12:02.540 And this is the closest without going over.
00:12:04.260 Was that the AIDS movie?
00:12:05.540 No.
00:12:06.240 This is where he has insomnia.
00:12:08.160 But like he was skinny in that one?
00:12:09.560 I don't...
00:12:10.220 Yeah.
00:12:11.220 I don't want to...
00:12:11.720 I'm not trying to pry too much information.
00:12:13.540 This is the closest without going over.
00:12:20.120 All right, Rob, what do you have?
00:12:23.600 A hundred and...
00:12:23.680 A hundred and twenty-eight pounds of yelling at his cinematographer.
00:12:27.100 I said a hundred and seventy-one pounds.
00:12:34.920 You guys both lose.
00:12:36.100 It was a hundred and twenty pounds.
00:12:37.840 And Bale allegedly wanted to get down to ninety-nine, and they would not work with him
00:12:40.620 if he got down that low.
00:12:41.500 And then he gained...
00:12:42.120 Went to 240 for Batman Begins.
00:12:44.400 Wow.
00:12:45.100 But how many pounds did the cameras add while he was screaming at the cinematographer?
00:12:50.960 Did that fluctuate the number at all, or no?
00:12:53.400 First of all, can I just say that I totally agree with him?
00:12:56.520 I don't think it's okay to yell at the cinematographer, but when you're in the middle of a scene
00:12:59.880 and you're filming and somebody walks in, even in rehearsal, you're not supposed to do that.
00:13:04.900 So for everybody who's saying, what a jerk he is, I went like, wow, I get it.
00:13:10.560 I'm waiting to have my Bill O'Reilly moment, the sort of we'll do it live, throwing things
00:13:14.980 at the wall, because I think that's defensible too.
00:13:17.340 Who's that guy?
00:13:18.160 Who's the guy on MSNBC, the bald, the light-haired guy with the glasses?
00:13:24.040 Lawrence O'Donnell?
00:13:25.660 Lawrence O'Donnell.
00:13:26.520 Yeah.
00:13:28.460 Stop the hammering.
00:13:29.460 When he completely lost his shit and yelled at me, I thought, well, that was a thing
00:13:35.740 of beauty.
00:13:36.780 You go right into therapy or rehab.
00:13:40.880 In the old days, you went to rehab.
00:13:42.860 I remember in the old days when you go to rehab, that's when people were embarrassed.
00:13:49.000 Now people go into rehab like, hey, good for you.
00:13:52.200 Now people applaud you.
00:13:53.560 Hey, you're a drunk addict.
00:13:55.020 Way to go.
00:13:55.840 You're an alcoholic.
00:13:57.020 You can't handle the pressure.
00:13:58.680 And you're putting your family last.
00:14:01.160 Hey, way to go.
00:14:02.580 What happened to the shame in our society?
00:14:04.680 Yeah, now they publicize it.
00:14:05.900 They used to hide it.
00:14:06.640 Now they publicize it.
00:14:07.880 Yeah, they used to hide it.
00:14:08.880 And now, what happened to shame in our society?
00:14:10.860 It's all gone.
00:14:11.720 Anyway, I'm sorry I got that one wrong, but I knew it was in the 120s.
00:14:14.800 It's close.
00:14:15.280 Now, speaking of drugs and alcohol, in The Hangover, where do the friends eventually find
00:14:20.360 Doug after his disappearance during the bachelor party?
00:14:23.540 During The Hangover.
00:14:24.540 I've seen The Hangover.
00:14:25.820 I think it's one of the few movies you have seen.
00:14:31.360 I'm just going to take a guess.
00:14:32.960 You go first, Michael.
00:14:34.220 I'm going to say Hotel with the Tigers.
00:14:36.800 I vaguely remember that in the movie.
00:14:38.500 Rob?
00:14:39.400 I'm going to say I'm not 100% sure.
00:14:44.140 And Mike Tyson's anus.
00:14:46.620 I don't think I could take either one of those.
00:14:49.740 It was at a hotel, kind of.
00:14:51.420 It was the rooftop of Caesar's Palace.
00:14:53.060 So he was stuck on the roof, if you remember, where they took roofies, forgot where they
00:14:56.520 had placed him as a prank, woke up, didn't know where they put him.
00:14:59.040 He was stuck on the roof the whole time.
00:15:04.700 I don't think I can take a hotel, Michael.
00:15:07.220 Were there tigers?
00:15:09.000 No.
00:15:09.260 Well, there was a tiger in the hotel room.
00:15:12.020 Was there Mike Tyson's derriere?
00:15:14.680 I'll have to check the producers on that.
00:15:16.620 No, we can't take it.
00:15:17.520 You want to hear the best Hollywood story about that movie?
00:15:19.800 After the third one made a billion dollars, Peter Chernin at 20th Century Fox was like,
00:15:27.420 hey, this comedy made a billion dollars.
00:15:34.660 How did that make a billion dollars?
00:15:37.200 I don't get it.
00:15:38.440 And they said, yeah, well, it made a billion dollars for Warner Bros.
00:15:44.360 And they said, really, did we ever have that movie?
00:15:47.900 Why didn't we have that?
00:15:49.180 And one of the executives says, we did have that movie, but it got put in turnaround.
00:15:57.720 And they said, really?
00:15:59.580 Well, who's the that did that?
00:16:03.600 The head of the studio, Tom Rothman.
00:16:06.080 And he got fired after that.
00:16:08.680 Peter Chernin said, let's fire that idiot.
00:16:10.600 What are we what are they doing?
00:16:12.140 So anyway, so that's how Rothman got fired.
00:16:14.300 And then he ended up because of the Korean scandal, North Korea that.
00:16:18.620 Yeah, they hacked the right, right.
00:16:21.300 Hacked stuff.
00:16:22.340 And then Amy got fired.
00:16:23.540 And that's how Tom Rothman ended up at Sony.
00:16:25.920 So Sony got to be handed up over there.
00:16:28.360 And that's where, like, you know, the emails that went everywhere.
00:16:31.420 That's why I got to see the inner emails from Sony.
00:16:33.920 Like, one of the executives like, why do I have to go to Rob Schneider's premiere?
00:16:37.400 I can't believe I have to do that.
00:16:38.700 And I was like, well, thanks a lot.
00:16:40.340 The guy's kissing my ass.
00:16:41.540 And all of a sudden, he's mad that he's going to one of my movies.
00:16:44.700 That was a really amazing time.
00:16:46.740 It serves him right, as far as I'm concerned.
00:16:48.640 But isn't that funny, though, that that that's great.
00:16:52.180 That's brutal.
00:16:53.340 Yeah, those are all those are some of the top grossing comedies of all time.
00:16:56.820 That's so yeah, I mean, so you can see why like Peter Chernin or the chairman of 20th Century Fox
00:17:01.700 would want to fire the guy who turned that down.
00:17:04.160 Tom Rockman.
00:17:05.120 That'll teach him to go to Rob Schneider's premiere.
00:17:07.060 Do it happily.
00:17:08.480 I know.
00:17:09.280 Number seven.
00:17:10.240 In the greatest Christmas comedy of all time, Jingle All the Way,
00:17:13.820 the whole premise of the movie was actually inspired by what Christmas toy craze,
00:17:18.320 which had parents literally fighting at stores to get their children these toys?
00:17:22.380 Now, is it A, Beanie Babies?
00:17:24.780 B, Tickle Me Elmo?
00:17:26.180 C, Cabbage Patch Kids?
00:17:27.720 Or D, Furbies?
00:17:29.260 I think I know.
00:17:30.020 Do you remember the actual toy from the movie?
00:17:32.180 Mega Man or something?
00:17:33.460 The Turbo Man.
00:17:35.100 Turbo Man.
00:17:35.680 Turbo Man.
00:17:36.300 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:36.620 That was a great movie.
00:17:37.560 Yeah.
00:17:38.460 Okay, I think I got it.
00:17:39.380 Probably underrated.
00:17:39.900 All right, what do you have, Michael?
00:17:41.000 Was it Tickle Me Elmo?
00:17:42.640 Rob?
00:17:43.780 No.
00:17:44.720 I remember this specifically.
00:17:47.260 Rob just torturing you.
00:17:48.500 Furbies and Arnold Schwarzenegger's anus.
00:17:52.280 I hate to butt in on this one, Rob, but according to my research, it was actually the Cabbage Patch Dolls because it was written earlier in the 80s and it came out later.
00:18:03.900 Furbies were wild, but this one they said was basic.
00:18:05.880 Really, yeah.
00:18:06.380 And at least it wasn't Sinbad's.
00:18:07.980 You know, if it had to be in either of the fellas, better Arnold's than Sinbad's.
00:18:12.560 It was partially based on Arnold's anus, though, so I could maybe give you a half point.
00:18:16.060 It's that Tickle all the way.
00:18:17.120 That's Phil Hartman, Arnold Schwarzenegger, right?
00:18:19.040 Yeah.
00:18:19.160 Yeah, yeah.
00:18:19.620 Yeah, yeah.
00:18:19.940 Phil Hartman was in it.
00:18:20.800 Oh, he was so good in that movie.
00:18:22.760 He was good in everything.
00:18:23.980 Phil was just a champion.
00:18:25.400 Phil was one of those guys who would never make a mistake, ever.
00:18:28.300 I remember one time, because Phil would like, he's the greatest, but he would yell at me.
00:18:35.860 And I remember, because I was a writer first at SNL, and I would write something, and he would come up to me and say,
00:18:40.460 Why the hell did you write that thing?
00:18:42.080 It's not funny.
00:18:43.420 I'm going to go out there and I'm going to die with that line.
00:18:45.880 You only wrote that because Warren Beatty's going to be here this weekend.
00:18:49.080 And I had no idea how that was connected to all of them.
00:18:51.740 I was like, hey, listen, Phil, it's funny.
00:18:54.580 I think it's going to get a laugh.
00:18:55.500 And then I would be standing right off stage, right next to the set, and he would deliver the line.
00:19:01.460 And it got an applause break and a laugh.
00:19:04.480 And I just saw his face kind of do this.
00:19:07.440 And to his credit, he walked, got up when the sketch ended, he walked right up to me.
00:19:12.060 He said, You're right.
00:19:13.260 I'm going to die.
00:19:13.920 Really?
00:19:15.660 That's great.
00:19:16.420 And then next week, he did it again.
00:19:17.680 And it happened again.
00:19:18.500 I swear, it was like the comedy gods.
00:19:20.700 Wow.
00:19:20.860 But Phil was, you know, he just was one of those guys.
00:19:25.500 He was just too good at a character.
00:19:27.920 Yeah.
00:19:28.140 He didn't know who he was.
00:19:29.500 One of my favorite SNL sketches of all time was one of his.
00:19:33.380 His Reagan mastermind, the Reagan genius sketch, where Reagan's like speaking in Mandarin and Arabic.
00:19:40.440 Everything that guy was in, even off SNL.
00:19:56.480 I mean, everything that guy was in, it was so funny.
00:19:58.660 No, he was so good.
00:19:59.420 You remember him.
00:20:00.120 The first thing I ever saw him, and he just blew off, he just came off the screen, was in Pee-wee's Big Adventure, which he helped write that.
00:20:07.720 And the first stage show on HBO.
00:20:10.520 And I was like, Who the hell is that guy?
00:20:12.660 He was Captain Blah Blah Blah, who you can tell was some sort of captain or whatever.
00:20:17.860 But, you know, because that show was much very dark before it was a cartoon.
00:20:21.040 It was an HBO thing, and it was a live show for adults.
00:20:23.960 And so that was a show that went on HBO.
00:20:25.960 But Phil was just one of those super talents.
00:20:28.100 And that's why, you know, when you see Dana Carvey, he was on Saturday Night Live last week with Maya Rudolph.
00:20:32.140 And you've got to say, a really funny sketch.
00:20:34.620 Kudos to them.
00:20:35.840 Dana Carvey is the most brilliant character actor ever on that show.
00:20:40.900 Ever.
00:20:41.620 His Biden is just extremely funny.
00:20:44.060 Oh, thank you, Regis.
00:20:48.960 Great to be here on the crew.
00:20:50.460 The family food, the food to do.
00:20:52.180 Dude.
00:20:53.480 Anyway.
00:20:54.400 And it was really funny is that the biggest laughs were the ones at Kamala Harris' expense via the great actress, Maya Rudolph, and Dana Carvey.
00:21:03.520 And then they tried to do a couple of the Trump jokes, didn't land.
00:21:06.180 No.
00:21:06.580 Because the audience is over that.
00:21:07.780 Yeah.
00:21:08.140 Yeah, it's so old hat.
00:21:09.240 There was also the best part of Kamala Harris getting elevated to the top of the ticket means that Maya Rudolph gets to do the bit.
00:21:17.340 Now, you know, hopefully it's over in November.
00:21:19.540 But I was happy.
00:21:20.420 I thought, well, at least Maya Rudolph gets a gig out of this.
00:21:22.340 That's good.
00:21:23.080 Well, you know what?
00:21:23.660 And she's unbelievable.
00:21:24.600 She's always been great.
00:21:26.320 You know what's funny, though?
00:21:26.960 We have to do a movie about this, about the pain that the Democratic Party had to go through to pick Kamala.
00:21:34.240 Because, you know, she wasn't even in the top five.
00:21:36.560 No.
00:21:36.660 She was way down on the list below, like, you know, Gretchen Whitmer.
00:21:41.240 And I'm telling you, they had to struggle.
00:21:44.160 But you know that the whole fight, like, we can't.
00:21:46.720 But how do we pass over?
00:21:48.040 I mean, she's a person of color.
00:21:49.860 Oh, yeah.
00:21:50.740 Basically.
00:21:51.480 And then she's a woman.
00:21:52.820 She's the VP.
00:21:53.660 How do we?
00:21:54.080 You know, so you know that they went through so much agonizing.
00:21:57.940 And that they had the agony.
00:21:58.940 They had to accept the agony of actually having her.
00:22:01.460 Yeah.
00:22:01.700 And it's all coming to loose now.
00:22:03.980 If Newsom had not been straight out of American Psycho, just like the whitest, malest guy you ever saw in your whole life, they obviously would have gone for him.
00:22:13.380 No, they would have picked him in a minute.
00:22:14.480 That would have absolutely picked him.
00:22:15.980 Because most people have never been to California.
00:22:18.180 They don't realize that Venice Beach is the Calcutta of America.
00:22:22.800 I mean, it literally is.
00:22:23.860 Like, I was literally in Calcutta.
00:22:26.640 And then I came back to the United States.
00:22:29.520 And I swear, Venice, it looked more like that than any place I'd ever seen.
00:22:34.080 So it was just absolute.
00:22:35.720 And so, but the good news is, financially, he's broken.
00:22:39.120 Hopefully, he'll be out of politics.
00:22:40.560 So we got that.
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00:24:07.200 Those stories are so good.
00:24:08.320 I'm bummed I actually have to get to the next question.
00:24:09.920 But we've got to keep moving on.
00:24:11.400 This is number eight.
00:24:11.920 I want to hear your dumb question.
00:24:13.660 Well, and this one's more modern, too, so maybe Michael has a chance at it.
00:24:16.800 What movie won the Academy Award for Best Picture last year?
00:24:20.740 Why would you think I would get that?
00:24:23.160 I'm just holding out hope that you, you know.
00:24:25.060 I had a better chance with Cleopatra.
00:24:26.860 Watch something other than Casablanca or The Godfather once in a while.
00:24:31.660 10 seconds.
00:24:32.280 All right, Rob, what do you have?
00:24:36.580 Okay.
00:24:37.940 Now, this is kind of not exactly answering the question, but it is, and I think you'll appreciate
00:24:44.320 it.
00:24:44.720 I think Michael will appreciate it.
00:24:45.600 And I think you're, more importantly, Michael's viewers will appreciate this.
00:24:51.800 Something woke ass-kissing that no one in mainstream America ever saw.
00:24:56.680 That is certainly technically correct.
00:25:00.840 My guess, which I guess would be an example of that, is Moonlight 2, because I assume it's
00:25:06.920 something kind of weird.
00:25:09.140 So I'm guessing Moonlight 2.
00:25:12.200 The correct answer is Oppenheimer.
00:25:15.480 Oh.
00:25:16.600 People actually did see that movie, didn't they?
00:25:18.120 You know what, they did.
00:25:19.280 I saw that, and it was great, and I'm really embarrassed that I, that was a, I should have
00:25:25.600 known that, and it just, it's, I think I'm going back another year.
00:25:30.240 Yeah.
00:25:30.960 Yeah, yeah.
00:25:31.500 You said two, did you say two years ago?
00:25:33.700 This is last year, the most recent one.
00:25:35.360 Barbie got robbed, but I heard Oppenheimer.
00:25:36.920 That is the correct answer for every movie 10 years prior, like, da-da-da-da, all through
00:25:41.160 the 20s.
00:25:41.400 You know what, no one, remember like the Academy Awards, 100 million people would see it in
00:25:46.420 America alone, and then Barbara Walters would introduce, you know, would interview like
00:25:52.720 the best, biggest stars in the world, and everyone would watch, you'd watch with your
00:25:56.800 mom and dad, and then you'd watch the Oscars, and now it's about 800,000 people watch worldwide.
00:26:02.080 It used to be 100 million in the US, because nobody cares, because they're tired of being
00:26:05.320 like, what happened with the Will Smith thing?
00:26:07.980 It's like, you saw what happened, this abject reverse racism.
00:26:11.540 If I would have slapped Chris Rock, they would have hauled me out, they would have thrown
00:26:16.580 me in jail, they would have tackled me in security, but because Will Smith, and they're
00:26:20.260 so afraid of anything racist or whatever, they let him get his Academy Award.
00:26:24.720 That was just the most ass-kissing thing I'd ever seen in my life, and the Academy should
00:26:30.720 be ashamed of themselves that they let him stay and get his, as what Brando called, his
00:26:37.100 doorstopper.
00:26:37.840 On the bright side, though, it was the only watchable moment of the Oscars, probably in
00:26:43.220 the last decade, you know, I don't know, but he's got some eyeballs on it.
00:26:47.160 Yeah, I mean, it was funny, I was in Mexico directing a film, and when it happened, my assistant
00:26:53.860 in Mexico, she said, she's looking at her phone, and went like, looked at me, and I go, I said,
00:26:59.580 Chris Rock was slapped at the Oscars, and they were like, what are you talking about?
00:27:03.060 It was like, the last time I had that kind of reaction was when, like, I was on a movie
00:27:08.700 in Hong Kong, and they said, like, Michael Tyson just beat Evander Holyfield's ear.
00:27:13.280 I was like, what are you talking about?
00:27:15.560 How does that even happen?
00:27:17.080 I'll get to that in a moment.
00:27:18.220 I'm directing a movie here, but I'll get back to Holyfield's ear.
00:27:22.280 Just, I was like, wow, that was just, you know, the same, I put that in the same group
00:27:25.620 of, like, bizarre human behavior by a famous person, famous rich person.
00:27:29.860 That's what bizarre is nominating Kamala Harris.
00:27:32.260 Number nine.
00:27:33.280 Which film is currently the highest grossing comedy of all time, surpassing $1.4 billion
00:27:38.540 at the global box office?
00:27:40.600 Is it A, Barbie?
00:27:42.200 B, Deadpool and Wolverine?
00:27:44.240 C, The Hangover Part 2?
00:27:46.740 Or D, Home Alone?
00:27:51.260 All right, Michael, what do you have?
00:27:52.580 I said Deadpool and Wolverine.
00:27:55.500 Rob?
00:27:55.940 Well, I'm going to say, Barbie, Revenge of the...
00:28:01.540 That is correct.
00:28:05.060 Rob is correct.
00:28:06.000 What?
00:28:06.700 Yes.
00:28:07.320 Barbie is technically a comedy, and it still has made more money than Deadpool and Wolverine.
00:28:12.680 And, and, and, isn't that crazy?
00:28:15.280 Wow.
00:28:15.880 Yeah.
00:28:17.100 Isn't that crazy?
00:28:18.480 I, you know, I know it's an unpopular opinion, some circles.
00:28:22.900 I enjoyed Barbie.
00:28:24.180 I thought it was secretly very...
00:28:25.420 I thought it was not so secretly conservative, actually.
00:28:27.840 I thought the whole thing was that feminism was wrong, and women should, like, have kids
00:28:31.520 and stuff.
00:28:32.020 I, I know, one of my colleagues disagreed with me, but I, I quite liked it.
00:28:35.820 You know what?
00:28:36.320 I mean, movies are movies, and, and the, I think that, um, people should be allowed to,
00:28:42.140 you know, kind of point to, to what it is.
00:28:43.920 But it should be entertainment-based, and, and not trying to, you know, manipulate.
00:28:49.100 But at the same time, it can work.
00:28:51.000 I mean, if you look at, like, you know, what, what, what's, like, astonishingly brilliant,
00:28:55.820 and, and I mean that.
00:28:56.780 I mean, I'm surprised at how good, like, Matt Walsh's movies are.
00:29:01.300 And, and I wonderfully surprised...
00:29:02.320 Especially having met him.
00:29:03.360 You think, this guy can make a good...
00:29:04.720 How does that, that happen?
00:29:05.660 Well, you realize that, like, because he's not only, he's brilliant, obviously, but he's
00:29:13.220 keyed into something that everybody can relate to as nonsensical and deserving of ridicule.
00:29:18.360 The, the, the only way to get, like, this woke nightmare to collapse, or tyranny to collapse,
00:29:22.860 or any sort of thing, is when people laugh at it.
00:29:25.440 When people in the Soviet Union, you know, nobody read the Pravda, or TAS, they knew it
00:29:30.420 was complete.
00:29:31.320 They just counted on word of mouth.
00:29:32.540 And so now it's the same thing with the New York Times, and the LA, and Chicago Tribune,
00:29:37.180 and CNN.
00:29:37.740 People laugh at it.
00:29:38.920 You had people on Stephen Colbert's show, talk about the, you know, the Joseph Goebbels
00:29:44.200 of the Democratic Party, you know, Stephen Colbert and his dancing syringes, when he suggested
00:29:49.260 that there was some objectivity to the, to the viewers that CNN, his own audience laughed
00:29:54.760 at it.
00:29:55.420 That's right.
00:29:55.820 Because it's, it's laughable.
00:29:57.040 I know you guys are objective over there, that you just report the news as it is.
00:30:01.300 Oh, I know, CNN makes a, I know.
00:30:03.900 Was that supposed to be a laugh line?
00:30:05.220 It wasn't supposed to be, but.
00:30:06.740 So when you laugh at it, then you know it's collapsible, then it's about to collapse.
00:30:10.600 And that's what I think this, this whole woke nightmare is, is months or weeks away from
00:30:15.920 collapse.
00:30:16.580 Right, right.
00:30:17.300 When he, when he said he made the joke, or he said the line, and then he said, I didn't
00:30:20.520 mean that as a laugh line.
00:30:21.560 Why are you laughing at CNN's objectivity?
00:30:23.400 I mean, anyway.
00:30:24.340 It was absolutely, it was, it was just so truthful.
00:30:28.000 The audience knows.
00:30:29.220 They know it.
00:30:31.200 All right.
00:30:31.680 Number 11.
00:30:32.980 In Die Hard, Bruce Willis's role was actually offered to which much older actor first?
00:30:39.660 Was it A, Sean Connery?
00:30:41.200 B, Frank Sinatra?
00:30:43.060 C, Robert Redford?
00:30:44.700 D, Clint Eastwood?
00:30:46.000 Uh, has he committed?
00:30:55.600 I think so.
00:30:56.520 All right, Rob, what do you have?
00:30:59.500 Clint Eastwood's anus.
00:31:03.480 Michael, yeah.
00:31:05.100 I said two-thirds of that answer.
00:31:06.940 Uh, Clint, Clint Eastwood.
00:31:08.180 That would make by far the most sense.
00:31:09.840 However, it was actually Frank Sinatra when he was 73, because apparently he started like
00:31:14.840 the prequel that it was based on back in the day, so we got First Offer.
00:31:18.080 Pretty wild.
00:31:18.560 It was almost a completely different movie.
00:31:20.080 Wow.
00:31:21.380 That would have been great.
00:31:22.440 I gotta tell you what, that's very interesting, because you know Clint Eastwood, um, these
00:31:27.520 questions you always ask, you know, you usually answer, like, what doesn't make sense, so
00:31:30.720 that would have made, not made sense, so I should have answered that, um, but I'm not
00:31:34.700 very good at games.
00:31:35.900 The, um, interesting, do you know that the, like, uh, the original, uh, person for Dirty
00:31:42.500 Harry, you, you would, couldn't you imagine who that was?
00:31:45.520 Because it wasn't Clint Eastwood.
00:31:47.560 Uh, I would.
00:31:48.520 In 1971, Dirty Harry was originally a studio picture that was offered to, uh, another actor,
00:31:55.080 and he thought it was too violent, and, uh, for him.
00:31:59.960 And then he ended up doing a, a, a, a, a movie very similar to it.
00:32:03.760 Any idea?
00:32:04.600 I was gonna say Walter Matthau, because it's kind of weird, and I could sort of see his
00:32:08.540 face in it, but no, I have no idea.
00:32:09.940 It's like, John Wayne, John Wayne, oh man, that would have been great.
00:32:14.940 I mean, Clint, Clint's great in the role, too, but wow.
00:32:17.380 Clint, Clint actually was like this, this unbelievable, he, he rose above the movie.
00:32:21.920 The movie doesn't hold up as much as he does.
00:32:23.780 Yeah.
00:32:24.120 He's just this unbelievable guy.
00:32:25.380 It's like, um, a friend of mine was making movies, and it, you know, he was like an extra
00:32:29.760 in movies that I knew back in, uh, in, in Italy, back in the late 60s, and he said,
00:32:33.800 when Clint Eastwood walked down the street, it was like, seeing like Michelangelo, you know,
00:32:37.320 Michelangelo's, um, statue of David walking down the street, there was just this hunk
00:32:41.340 of a guy, you know?
00:32:42.820 And, uh, but yeah, so that, that's very interesting.
00:32:45.360 Uh, he did another one called like McManus or McMurray or Mc something, uh, McMahon or
00:32:51.600 something, uh, John, John Wayne after, and it just didn't have that same oomph to it.
00:32:56.640 I know what you're thinking.
00:32:58.560 Did I fire five shots or six?
00:33:02.420 Let me tell you, pilgrim, did I fire?
00:33:05.400 Well, I'll tell you right now.
00:33:07.360 Did I fire?
00:33:08.700 What's the line?
00:33:09.700 You know, line, but it was like some of those things, like those movies that, you know,
00:33:15.960 like, uh, who, uh, you know, Charles, uh, Bronson and the dead, um, you know, those movies where
00:33:24.240 he played a vigilante, I mean, I remember seeing those movies, he did like three of those vigilante
00:33:30.220 movies, Charles Bronson.
00:33:31.980 And I remember thinking, man, that the audience was so fired up.
00:33:35.120 And I just, I hope I don't bump into some guy's car on the way out of here because he's
00:33:38.400 a violent group.
00:33:39.160 Take your head off.
00:33:40.160 Yeah.
00:33:40.920 Yeah.
00:33:41.180 Uh, I remember also Michael Caine did one of those vigilante type movies.
00:33:45.000 They always work, you know, bad guys get blown away and everybody goes, yay.
00:33:50.660 Well, this next question is not a very violent one.
00:33:53.000 This will be right up your alley.
00:33:54.820 In the 40 year old virgin, Steve Carell did something very painful for the first time on
00:33:59.360 camera for the film.
00:34:00.800 What was it?
00:34:08.260 All right, Michael, what do you have?
00:34:09.340 He, he, he waxed his chest.
00:34:13.940 Rob?
00:34:19.420 Take direction from Judd Apropon.
00:34:24.140 He's a buddy.
00:34:24.880 I'm just kidding, Judd.
00:34:25.800 It's funny.
00:34:26.480 We're just having fun.
00:34:28.360 It was him waxing his chest on camera, which gave him the improvised line.
00:34:33.080 Ah, Kelly Clarkson.
00:34:34.620 Freddy Piehole!
00:34:36.160 Como se llama?
00:34:37.680 No!
00:34:38.120 Ah, Kelly Clarkson!
00:34:39.680 Apparently that was the first time he'd ever waxed it and they did it.
00:34:41.860 First of all, I'll have you know that I had waxed my ass and they took that from that.
00:34:47.160 I'm sure.
00:34:48.380 My ass waxing scene in Deuce Bigelow.
00:34:51.140 Okay.
00:34:51.780 Thank you.
00:34:52.500 Wow.
00:34:53.060 You're welcome.
00:34:53.360 You're welcome, Steve.
00:34:57.240 I want in, in the director's notes of a 40 year old virgin.
00:35:02.800 I want them to cite you as a pioneer specifically for that act.
00:35:08.440 Can you do it like live on camera before the shoot?
00:35:12.740 You mean with the ass waxing?
00:35:14.520 Yeah.
00:35:14.800 Did you do it?
00:35:15.800 I'll tell you the truth.
00:35:17.700 I'm half Filipino, so I'm basically a Mexican hairless at this point.
00:35:21.620 So they really had to have another, they had to have a stunt ass with real hair on it for
00:35:26.240 me to do it.
00:35:26.800 Man, you know, they say there's, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a prison
00:35:31.180 cell, uh, partner's a drink.
00:35:33.260 I'll tell you the truth.
00:35:34.740 People in Hollywood, you know, they'll take any job they can to get on camera.
00:35:38.360 But I think being your stunt sphincter that, I don't know, man, it would, an agent would
00:35:46.900 have to convince you to, you'd almost say you'd have to go straight from that to a Kamala
00:35:51.660 Harris, um, political ad.
00:35:54.780 Did you hear those guys?
00:35:55.960 But they did Kamala Harris, like the guy in ghost, ghost pants, I buy tampons and I'm
00:36:03.760 a man for, yeah, yeah.
00:36:05.840 Yeah.
00:36:06.060 But the, um, I know it's, it's just, it's, it's so humiliating, you know, that I just
00:36:11.940 wish like we had a unbiased media that could really make fun of it on the left because they
00:36:17.040 just, they won't go near it and they won't touch my book either.
00:36:20.220 They won't come because it's just anything that, that goes against the, uh, the, or that
00:36:26.480 even questions a liberal intelligentsia.
00:36:28.440 They're like, no, let's just pretend, let's just ignore it to death.
00:36:31.200 But you know, you all out there, you can do it.
00:36:34.260 You can go out and buy that book, which is called, you can do it right now.
00:36:38.500 It's a good book, man.
00:36:39.260 You'll, you'll dig it.
00:36:39.920 And it's, it's nice.
00:36:40.920 And it tells some, some good stories, but also, you know, it also talks about the sacrifices
00:36:44.860 that are required to make sure that we continue the freest country in the history of the world.
00:36:49.160 And this, uh, this whole idea of free speech, America has its problems, but let me tell
00:36:53.700 you, this free speech is, is pretty damn important.
00:36:56.740 In 1791, it's lasted a long time.
00:36:59.380 If you look at the, I think it's called the, the rights of the man and of the citizen that
00:37:04.160 was in 1789 is the French version of free speech.
00:37:07.580 It lasted four years until they started chopping off people's heads.
00:37:10.200 You've gone since 1791 till, till, till the Harris Biden administration, hopefully they
00:37:16.240 don't get in.
00:37:17.000 They seem to think it's a privilege, not a right.
00:37:20.340 And I can't believe that they're that ignorant.
00:37:22.200 I don't think they're ignorant.
00:37:23.180 I think they're willfully wanting to just do away with speech that doesn't agree with
00:37:27.060 the democratic party.
00:37:27.980 Yeah.
00:37:28.560 Just radical.
00:37:29.400 All right.
00:37:30.160 Number 13, who holds the record for the most acting credits in film and television with
00:37:34.820 over 600 appearances?
00:37:37.040 A, Danny Trejo.
00:37:38.320 B, Michael Caine.
00:37:39.740 C, Eric Roberts.
00:37:41.000 D, Samuel L. Jackson.
00:37:42.840 I feel confident about this answer.
00:37:45.620 Even before you listed the names, I had this name in my head.
00:37:51.060 Okay.
00:37:51.900 I got it.
00:37:52.540 All right.
00:37:52.820 What do you have, Rob?
00:37:53.440 I know him, so I feel like I'm cheating.
00:37:56.360 Danny Trejo's anus.
00:37:57.540 You know it, you mean.
00:38:00.160 You know the specifics.
00:38:02.380 I'm guessing Eric Roberts.
00:38:05.740 Danny Trejo is second with over 400, but Eric Roberts is at over 600.
00:38:10.360 He is the man, the myth, the legend currently.
00:38:12.940 Eric Roberts?
00:38:14.000 My goodness.
00:38:15.520 I got to call him.
00:38:17.020 It's actually 5-4, Rob, right now.
00:38:18.960 Michael's getting close.
00:38:20.220 Oh, man.
00:38:20.520 Thank you, Eric.
00:38:21.660 Don't call it a comeback.
00:38:22.720 Don't call it a comeback.
00:38:23.680 All right.
00:38:24.540 Number 14, what was the first horror film to be nominated?
00:38:27.420 For Best Picture at the Academy Awards.
00:38:29.640 Was it A, The Exorcist?
00:38:30.940 B, Psycho?
00:38:31.960 C, Jaws?
00:38:33.020 D, Rosemary's Body?
00:38:35.000 Baby?
00:38:35.860 Rosemary's Baby.
00:38:37.020 Sorry.
00:38:37.520 Hold on.
00:38:37.860 Now you got to listen to it.
00:38:39.000 Say it again.
00:38:39.800 All right.
00:38:40.020 The first one, it was The Exorcist, Psycho, Jaws, or Rosemary's Baby.
00:38:45.180 All right, Rob, what do you have?
00:38:54.920 Okay.
00:38:55.660 All right.
00:38:57.260 Psycho, Anus.
00:39:00.000 Nelson, yeah.
00:39:01.700 I said Rosemary's Baby.
00:39:04.640 It's actually The Exorcist.
00:39:05.840 It was the first one.
00:39:06.580 I almost said The Exorcist.
00:39:08.320 Which I really thought Psycho.
00:39:09.440 It's a gigantic hit.
00:39:11.020 I know.
00:39:11.420 I don't understand.
00:39:12.200 Wasn't nominated for Best Picture, though.
00:39:13.900 But next one, another classic film question.
00:39:17.280 What was the first film to show a toilet being flushed on screen?
00:39:22.080 All right.
00:39:23.040 Was it A, Psycho?
00:39:24.400 B, The Graduate?
00:39:25.720 C, Bonnie and Clyde?
00:39:26.980 D, Animal House?
00:39:28.760 This was a big deal at the time.
00:39:30.340 First time they ever showed a toilet being flushed on screen.
00:39:32.740 There were no anuses seen.
00:39:34.200 Yeah, it does seem to.
00:39:35.460 This might finally be the vindication of Rob's answers.
00:39:38.100 Yeah.
00:39:41.100 Okay.
00:39:42.060 All right, what do you have, Michael?
00:39:43.960 I said Animal House.
00:39:46.900 Rob?
00:39:49.900 Animal House.
00:39:51.240 John Belus.
00:39:52.880 It's actually Psycho, believe it or not.
00:39:54.720 Psycho?
00:39:55.160 Psycho showed a toilet being flushed on camera for the first time.
00:39:57.780 Wow.
00:39:58.300 Really?
00:39:58.540 It was quite a controversial moment, apparently, back in the day.
00:40:01.820 More than her being stabbed on camera?
00:40:04.480 Yes.
00:40:05.640 You look it up, it's one of the main things that pops up.
00:40:07.680 People were outraged after she was stabbed, and then they saw the toilet being flushed.
00:40:12.400 That was a bridge too far.
00:40:15.540 No, you never saw the stabbing?
00:40:17.320 That's interesting.
00:40:18.500 It's behind the curtain, right?
00:40:22.000 You see the knife coming up, and then you see the bloody hand ripping down the...
00:40:26.820 But you never see the stabbing.
00:40:28.680 And what's-his-face, the director, Hitchcock, said that was much scarier than showing it.
00:40:34.920 But that was something that the imagination is always going to come up with, more frightening stuff.
00:40:40.540 Yeah.
00:40:42.100 Especially when I think about, Rob, your answers to all of these.
00:40:47.860 Because my imagination is coming up with probably something that is more frightening than the actual reality of it.
00:40:54.460 Yes, exactly.
00:40:56.320 You should see Big Stan, by the way.
00:40:58.400 That movie, Big Stan.
00:40:59.420 It's a really funny joke in the end.
00:41:00.880 And in the end, it's an actual joke about something.
00:41:04.860 It's where a guy goes to prison.
00:41:06.580 The movie got lost in distribution.
00:41:09.420 But it's about, I play this guy.
00:41:11.020 They redid it called Get Hard with Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.
00:41:16.000 But the original's better, obviously.
00:41:19.440 Obviously.
00:41:19.840 But there was a thing where he had a tattoo around his anus to make sure that nobody would ever...
00:41:25.640 He wouldn't get violated in prison.
00:41:29.600 And then the people were like, well, what do we do?
00:41:34.940 What's the tattoo?
00:41:36.400 And I was like, I don't know.
00:41:38.040 Whoopi Goldberg?
00:41:40.360 Hillary Clinton?
00:41:41.320 I don't know.
00:41:41.700 We ended up not showing anything.
00:41:42.980 The imagination was worse.
00:41:44.920 But we actually had the proper guy to draw up like Hillary Clinton.
00:41:49.320 And then...
00:41:50.780 Well, even if you leave people just to their imagination, at least 87% of people would just
00:41:57.340 put Hillary Clinton just naturally by their imagination.
00:42:00.600 People are going to have to use their imagination when they watch this on YouTube because it's
00:42:03.380 just going to be blurred out and canceled out and bleeped out.
00:42:05.440 Bleeps.
00:42:06.440 One and Out is known for its lengthy runtime, approximately 12 hours and 53 minutes.
00:42:11.360 However, it is not considered a traditional film, so it doesn't hold the record for the
00:42:14.400 longest film.
00:42:15.440 Among mainstream traditional films with a theatrical release, which has the longest
00:42:20.420 runtime?
00:42:21.820 Was it A, Cleopatra?
00:42:23.160 B, Avengers Endgame?
00:42:24.620 C, The Irishman?
00:42:25.880 D, Gone with the Wind?
00:42:27.500 Huh.
00:42:27.900 This was for the original theatrical release.
00:42:31.060 What about Barry Lyndon?
00:42:33.460 Didn't make the list.
00:42:34.420 It might not be one of the traditional films.
00:42:36.000 Like at some of our film festivals, it wasn't like a...
00:42:37.920 It's a traditional film.
00:42:39.020 Studio theatrical release.
00:42:40.000 It's got a...
00:42:41.320 Barry Lyndon's like five hours or something.
00:42:43.280 Those are all pretty long.
00:42:49.220 If I find out it was really Barry Lyndon and I don't get this point, I'm going to throw
00:42:54.000 it up again on the show and try to fact check me.
00:42:57.140 Well, I'm going to say I think Bergman's Franny and Alexander is actually the longest one.
00:43:04.880 I think you're wrong about this.
00:43:06.220 Yeah, I'm certain Ben is wrong.
00:43:07.780 I'm positive.
00:43:08.500 But of this list, I guess I would say The Irishman?
00:43:14.300 The Irishman is very close.
00:43:15.580 It's not...
00:43:16.440 Gone with the Wind.
00:43:17.940 Gone with the Wind is like four minutes shorter than the original theatrical release of Cleopatra,
00:43:23.100 that four hour and 11 minute version that you were talking about, Rob.
00:43:26.220 The long theatrical version.
00:43:28.500 Slightly longer.
00:43:30.080 Well, they released a less two hour version of it.
00:43:33.960 The original cut that Martin Landau said was better.
00:43:37.820 The Irishman is a long two.
00:43:39.120 I think Gone with the Wind was three hours and 58 minutes.
00:43:41.140 It was pretty close.
00:43:42.480 All right.
00:43:42.880 Which 1927 film is considered the first talkie film with synchronized sound?
00:43:47.680 The first movie with sound.
00:43:48.720 Was it The Jazz Singer, Sunrise, Metropolis, The Great Train Robbery?
00:43:53.540 Do you remember the first movie with color, Michael?
00:43:56.980 You know what it is?
00:43:58.260 Well, I think so.
00:44:00.500 Is it on that list?
00:44:01.780 No.
00:44:02.460 Oh, it's not.
00:44:02.940 Okay.
00:44:03.240 The color is much later.
00:44:04.620 It's out.
00:44:09.040 Got it.
00:44:09.840 All right, Rob.
00:44:10.700 You got it?
00:44:11.440 Let's see if he'll maintain the lead.
00:44:15.220 1927.
00:44:15.780 The Jazz Singer starring Joe Biden.
00:44:18.400 Starring Joe Biden in blackface.
00:44:21.980 I guess more like Justin Trudeau, probably, in that case.
00:44:24.240 Would you write, Michael?
00:44:25.000 I can't do that.
00:44:25.140 I agree.
00:44:25.460 The Jazz Singer.
00:44:26.560 Jazz Singer.
00:44:27.080 Al Jolson.
00:44:27.480 I'd love to sing him.
00:44:28.600 Yeah, both got it right.
00:44:30.540 So what's the score going into this?
00:44:33.020 I think I'm ahead 65.
00:44:34.800 65, Rob.
00:44:35.980 Here we go.
00:44:36.380 Last question.
00:44:37.980 According to Ranker.com, the public ranking sites, this is very accurate, which Rob Schneider
00:44:44.020 film have fans ranked the highest?
00:44:47.020 Is it A, The Hot Chick, B, Grown Ups, C, Deuce Bigelow, Milo, and C,
00:44:51.980 L, Gigolo?
00:44:52.760 D, Big Stan.
00:44:56.820 So this is not the objectively true answer.
00:44:59.540 This is what Ranker said.
00:45:00.600 This is what the audience that watches all of Rob's films, what they think.
00:45:03.960 This is not the critic reviews in Rotten Tomatoes, which are all garbage, where they
00:45:06.380 rank it like that.
00:45:07.380 This is the people.
00:45:08.340 The people voting, what is the best movie?
00:45:09.940 Okay.
00:45:10.260 Okay.
00:45:11.540 All right.
00:45:11.980 I feel confident about my answer.
00:45:16.120 All right, Michael, what do you have?
00:45:17.340 I'd say Deuce Bigelow, no doubt, right?
00:45:19.940 1999, one of the greatest years for film of all time.
00:45:22.240 Probably is the greatest year of film of all time.
00:45:24.980 Rob, what do you have?
00:45:28.980 I'm just writing.
00:45:29.900 I'm just writing.
00:45:31.320 Okay.
00:45:31.860 Got it.
00:45:34.600 Grown Ups, co-starring David Spade's Ball Sack.
00:45:39.160 Wow.
00:45:40.860 See, there's a twist at the end there.
00:45:44.980 Those are all fantastic guesses.
00:45:46.920 They're all top five on the list.
00:45:48.380 However, The Hot Chick.
00:45:50.000 Really?
00:45:50.660 People's favorite movie, Rob.
00:45:51.620 No, look, Hot Chick's great.
00:45:52.780 I'm just saying better than Deuce Bigelow?
00:45:55.420 It's to the test of time.
00:45:56.700 People love going back to it.
00:45:58.200 It's a chick flick.
00:45:59.260 And you know, the women, they like to vote.
00:46:01.000 They do.
00:46:01.640 They do.
00:46:02.800 It's been a long time since that 19th Amendment's been around.
00:46:05.840 How's it worked out?
00:46:06.380 Yeah, they like to take advantage of it.
00:46:08.880 Wow.
00:46:09.660 Well, Rob, to the winner goes the spoils.
00:46:12.240 However, this is a gentleman's game.
00:46:13.920 And if you would wish to gamble all your winnings on a double or nothing question,
00:46:18.660 we do have one more.
00:46:20.200 Or you can take your winnings and have Michael start rambling off about why people should buy your book.
00:46:24.480 No, let's double down.
00:46:25.660 And then, please, Michael, we should do a real conversation one of these days.
00:46:30.100 But this was fun.
00:46:31.720 Let's do double or nothing.
00:46:32.680 Okay.
00:46:33.040 All right.
00:46:33.280 Wow.
00:46:33.540 So you're doing double or nothing.
00:46:34.700 Rob, by the way, I totally agree.
00:46:36.380 What this experience has mostly taught me is I want to speak to you without Ben Davies just chiming in.
00:46:42.680 I want a one-on-one with Rob.
00:46:45.140 You know, his picture's bigger than ours in the middle, too.
00:46:47.300 You notice that.
00:46:47.680 We can move it back.
00:46:49.320 How did that happen?
00:46:51.200 I get you.
00:46:52.080 I get you.
00:46:53.020 I'm on to you.
00:46:54.640 All right.
00:46:55.020 Here we go.
00:46:56.000 Double or nothing.
00:46:56.920 Here we go.
00:46:58.160 There's been a lot of performances over the years that have triggered some critics.
00:47:01.380 Now, according to Ranker.com, again, the public ranking site, what whitewashing performance was deemed the most offensive?
00:47:08.400 Just as a hint, it was not Prince Habibu, Chief Running Mouth, or the Asian Priest from Chuck and Larry.
00:47:15.540 It's either one of these performances.
00:47:17.660 Was it A, Marlon Brando, who played a Chinese or Japanese translator in Tea House of the August Moon?
00:47:24.600 Was it B, Catherine Hepburn, who played a Chinese woman in The Dragon Seed?
00:47:29.780 C, Johnny Depp as Tonto in The Lone Ranger?
00:47:33.780 D, Mickey Rooney as Mr. Yokashi in Breakfast at Tiffany's?
00:47:37.920 Or E, John Wayne as Genghis Khan in The Conqueror?
00:47:42.160 Didn't Sean Connery do one that was pretty wild, too?
00:47:46.860 In, okay, anyway, I'll limit it to my...
00:47:49.560 Got it.
00:47:50.620 I'm going to say, okay, hold on.
00:47:51.660 I got a lot riding on this.
00:47:54.340 Yeah.
00:47:55.440 Okay.
00:47:56.880 All right, what do you have, gentlemen?
00:48:00.280 You can do it.
00:48:01.280 Oh, do I have?
00:48:02.580 Okay, you go first.
00:48:04.380 I say Mickey Rooney.
00:48:05.280 Pretty offensive.
00:48:07.800 What do you have, Rob?
00:48:10.100 Mickey Rooney's slanted anus.
00:48:15.820 It wasn't that the actor, so that makes sense.
00:48:17.840 Well, I mean, that was the most offensive one, but it's probably wrong, because that's probably the easiest one.
00:48:23.420 I don't know.
00:48:23.740 When you see the Brando photo, you may think it's the Brando one.
00:48:25.920 It's fantastic.
00:48:26.980 However, according to Ranker.com, none of those were as offensive as John Wayne playing Genghis Khan in The Conqueror.
00:48:33.140 I almost said John Wayne.
00:48:34.060 Which is a fantastic photo.
00:48:36.020 I forgot because of the mustache.
00:48:39.140 Yeah, that was beautiful.
00:48:40.720 That was almost like...
00:48:41.360 What about Laurence Olivier as the Mad Makti?
00:48:43.080 Remember that?
00:48:43.780 That was a great one.
00:48:46.040 No?
00:48:46.340 Okay.
00:48:46.660 Didn't make the list.
00:48:47.500 But to the victor does go the spoils, since those cancel each other out.
00:48:51.400 Michael, would you please give 30 seconds for why people should buy...
00:48:54.980 Gladly.
00:48:55.560 I'm glad I lost, in fact, so that I can tell people, right now, stop what you're doing.
00:49:02.940 Go to Amazon or wherever you get your books, whatever.
00:49:06.080 You Can Do It by Rob Schneider.
00:49:09.880 A book that is part memoir, it's very funny, it's funny throughout, and part political wisdom and polemic.
00:49:21.040 Go get...
00:49:22.120 Right now.
00:49:23.680 Go get...
00:49:24.200 You can do it, and I won't add on to that any parts of any orifices or any appendages.
00:49:34.000 Just go get the book.
00:49:35.300 There's some pictures of me and Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, me and The Rock, me and Stallone, me and...
00:49:42.500 And the guy from Cleopatra, Martin Landau, right there.
00:49:46.600 Not only do you get great words of wisdom from Rob, but you also get very cool pictures.
00:49:52.760 So for those of you who are illiterate, you'll get good pictures out there, too.
00:49:56.860 Hey, Michael, we'll have a real conversation next time.
00:49:59.180 And nothing wrong with your questions, I thought.
00:50:01.180 I thought your questions were terrible, Ben.
00:50:02.800 But I look forward to having a real conversation with Rob.
00:50:04.960 Rob, thank you very much, sir, for coming on.
00:50:08.240 Ben, you know...
00:50:09.760 Thanks for allowing time to make you less radical.
00:50:13.960 And thank you to everyone watching.
00:50:15.780 Well, there you have it.
00:50:16.520 And if you haven't already, go check out the fantastic library of Rob Schneider movies and get your copy of You Can Do It, Speak Your Mind, America.
00:50:23.720 Available now on Amazon and wherever books are sold.
00:50:26.480 Just end the video, click the video, click the link down there right now.
00:50:29.340 Buy the book, and we'll see you next time.
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