The Michael Knowles Show - May 06, 2023


Tradwife Attack DEBUNKED ｜ Michael Knowles


Episode Stats

Length

39 minutes

Words per Minute

182.45609

Word Count

7,246

Sentence Count

546

Misogynist Sentences

93

Hate Speech Sentences

71


Summary

Some younger millennials and Zoomers have decided to embrace living La Vida Casserole, dedicating themselves to cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing while their husbands or boyfriends chop firewood or go to their job in human resources.


Transcript

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00:00:37.680 There's an overlap, therefore, between the tradwife trend and white nationalism.
00:00:41.920 This overlap can be implicit.
00:00:44.540 The libs hate tradwives.
00:00:55.260 What's a tradwife?
00:00:57.540 It's a traditional wife.
00:01:00.060 Okay.
00:01:01.080 It's a lady who thinks it's nice to be a lady and who thinks that the tried and true ways in which women have behaved for all of human history are better than the women who burn their bras and chop their hair off and practice witchcraft and destroy capitalism and become lesbians, to quote Pat Robertson.
00:01:20.500 You don't want your children to grow up as lesbians.
00:01:23.300 One of these attacks on the tradwives has gone viral.
00:01:27.100 I will now bring my, not only intellect, but my deep, deep love of tradwives to bear, to analyze it.
00:01:34.840 Lately, I've been seeing this thing pop up on social media.
00:01:37.780 We are going to talk about how you can become a traditional wife.
00:01:40.720 How I went from a raging, free-the-nipple feminist.
00:01:44.240 To becoming a traditional feminine woman.
00:01:47.340 The ways that I live traditionally in our modern world.
00:01:50.380 I don't understand.
00:01:51.260 What's the point of, you know, arguing with him?
00:01:54.040 Immaculately made-up women gazing wide-eyed into their phones, singing the praises of being a tradwife or traditional wife.
00:02:01.440 I'll let her explain.
00:02:02.480 If you are not familiar with the term tradwife, it is a woman who chooses to live a more traditional life with ultra-traditional gender roles.
00:02:11.340 So the man goes outside the house, works, provides for the family.
00:02:15.480 The woman stays home, and she's the homemaker.
00:02:18.120 She takes care of the home and the children.
00:02:20.540 I love here this definition and now the horror that this host is raising at the prospect of the tradwives.
00:02:30.720 It basically is just women being normal.
00:02:34.080 Why can't you just be normal?
00:02:36.440 Saying, well, a tradwife is a woman who behaves normally, and like the way that men and women have behaved for all of human history.
00:02:43.840 And so in our insane culture, I didn't do that for a long time, but now I'm choosing to be normal and my life improved.
00:02:49.360 And the host of this video says, oh no!
00:02:52.540 Don't be normal, the horror!
00:02:54.500 Keep going.
00:02:54.840 The woman stays home, and she's the homemaker.
00:02:57.760 She takes care of the home and the children if there are any.
00:03:00.720 Thanks for that.
00:03:01.720 Though the idea of women being confined to the home while men do things like go outside and work isn't exactly new,
00:03:07.640 the image of 1950s suburban domesticity has been given a new lease of life by the gals on TikTok.
00:03:13.500 Can you imagine me?
00:03:15.780 The wife of that boorish, brainless...
00:03:19.580 Madame?
00:03:19.920 Some younger millennials and Zoomers have decided to embrace living La Vida casserole,
00:03:25.400 dedicating themselves to cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing while their husbands or boyfriends, I don't know,
00:03:30.700 chop firewood or go to their job in human resources.
00:03:33.320 And look, I'm not saying there's anything inherently...
00:03:35.700 Do any men work in human resources?
00:03:38.560 I hate so much about the things that you choose to be.
00:03:42.940 I'm not degrading human resources or if a man happens to work in it, but in my experience,
00:03:48.220 human resources is made up 100% of women.
00:03:52.340 I don't know.
00:03:52.820 This host's grip on reality seems to be even more tenuous than I previously thought.
00:03:57.560 And look, I'm not saying there's anything inherently degrading about being a mom or making nice meals.
00:04:02.840 I like cooking elaborate dinners.
00:04:05.240 For that matter, my boyfriend does too.
00:04:07.060 But the tradwife trend isn't just a way to talk about the experience of being a woman and doing domestic labor.
00:04:15.660 It's saying that...
00:04:16.760 I love she says,
00:04:17.960 Look, there's nothing inherently degrading about...
00:04:21.620 Being a mother about the most beautiful, exalted thing that any person can do on this earth.
00:04:28.840 There's nothing inherently degrading...
00:04:30.540 About being the hand that rocks the cradle as the hand that rules the world.
00:04:34.660 Of creating life in your very body.
00:04:38.580 This unique ability that...
00:04:40.980 The most beautiful thing that can exist in this finite fallen world that we have.
00:04:46.160 It's not lucid, it's not.
00:04:47.640 It's obviously not nearly as impressive as working at the widget factory for a man who doesn't care about you.
00:04:53.120 But, you know, it's fine, it's fine.
00:04:54.780 And I love it.
00:04:55.640 She goes,
00:04:55.920 There's nothing wrong with cooking.
00:04:56.880 I love cooking.
00:04:57.700 She won't even say,
00:04:58.760 I like the idea of having a child and raising a family.
00:05:01.000 No, no, no.
00:05:01.340 That's unimaginable.
00:05:02.780 But cooking is fine sometimes, maybe.
00:05:05.140 Okay, and here's my boyfriend.
00:05:07.080 It's saying that being a woman or expressing your femininity most fully means doing all the domestic labor.
00:05:14.360 Men and women are meant to have rigidly distinct roles in the home, in their relationships, and crucially, in economic activity.
00:05:22.420 So, this isn't just about personal choice or individual preferences.
00:05:27.240 Right.
00:05:27.460 It's advancing a right-wing political ideology.
00:05:30.720 Correct.
00:05:31.560 Put a pause there.
00:05:32.200 That's a really important point she's landing on.
00:05:34.580 She's wrong about the rigidity of these roles.
00:05:38.200 The idea of having a traditional marriage is, yes, there are distinct roles.
00:05:43.480 There are distinct spheres for men and women in which we operate.
00:05:46.960 But they're not rigid.
00:05:48.400 I don't change most of the diapers at home, but I've changed a few.
00:05:51.740 I cook almost none of the meals, but I'll cook every now and again.
00:05:54.900 I don't do most of the cleaning, but I do a little bit of the cleaning.
00:05:57.520 I take the trash out a lot.
00:05:59.600 But my wife will sometimes take the trash out.
00:06:01.540 It's not really her job, but she'll sometimes do it.
00:06:03.520 It's not as though you say, well, that's your role, and that's my role, and you don't do this.
00:06:07.960 And that whole idea is very modern and rationalist and liberal.
00:06:12.380 But a traditional marriage says men and women are different.
00:06:16.460 Men and women have natural inclinations and affinities and certain things that we can't do.
00:06:20.740 I cannot carry a baby inside of me.
00:06:22.800 And so we're going to, rather than try to rebel against nature and rebel against reality,
00:06:28.280 we're going to embrace that.
00:06:29.560 And we think that that will be more conducive to our flourishing.
00:06:32.560 And she says, but to see, therefore, it means it's not entirely about consent.
00:06:36.700 It's not entirely about individual autonomy.
00:06:39.340 Right.
00:06:39.740 It's not.
00:06:40.420 Life is about more than individual autonomy.
00:06:43.880 That's the point.
00:06:45.040 It's really quite simple.
00:06:46.580 The idea that all that matters in this whole world is individual autonomy,
00:06:50.200 that the only moral criterion is consent and nothing else matters at all,
00:06:54.000 that is a very modern, crazy idea that has destroyed the distinctions between everyone in society
00:06:59.620 and especially between men and women.
00:07:01.400 And it's made everybody miserable.
00:07:03.000 I'm miserable.
00:07:04.900 So, yes, life is about more than individual autonomy.
00:07:09.000 It's about your role.
00:07:10.660 It's about your place in society.
00:07:11.920 It's about recognizing that man is not primarily an atomized individual.
00:07:14.480 Man is actually a social being, a political animal,
00:07:18.820 a coupling creature that comes together with the opposite sex and has good life.
00:07:24.700 So, why is this important?
00:07:27.540 Three things.
00:07:28.520 These women are often really young, in their 20s,
00:07:32.940 and they're preaching the values of submitting to a husband to an audience of other young women.
00:07:37.840 The tradwife trend doesn't exist in isolation.
00:07:40.500 It's linked to deeply regressive political and social movements,
00:07:44.180 such as Christian and white nationalism and anti-feminism.
00:07:47.700 Wait, hold on.
00:07:49.180 Foot of Oz there.
00:07:50.320 So, it's obviously, yeah, it's Christian.
00:07:52.440 Christianity holds, in the beginning God created man, both male and female created he them.
00:07:55.900 Christianity says that the relationship of husband and wife is a symbol of the relationship of Christ and his church.
00:08:02.460 So, yeah, it's Christian.
00:08:03.500 And it's definitely anti-feminist.
00:08:04.840 Feminism says men and women are exactly the same.
00:08:06.840 Woman needs a man like a fish, needs a bicycle.
00:08:08.260 That's true.
00:08:08.880 How is it white nationalist?
00:08:10.980 This seems a little crazy.
00:08:12.360 Yes, crazy.
00:08:13.280 Whatever that means.
00:08:14.760 It's funny, they put up a picture of Nick Fuentes, who's a Hispanic guy.
00:08:18.060 His name's Fuentes.
00:08:18.980 But anyway, put that aside for a second.
00:08:21.720 You're saying that black people can't get married and have normal marriages?
00:08:25.780 You're saying Asian people can't get married and have normal marriages?
00:08:28.820 I don't know.
00:08:29.260 I know a lot of black people and Asian people, Hispanic people certainly,
00:08:32.740 who have gotten married and had normal marriages.
00:08:35.520 She just mentions it because white nationalism is just a euphemism,
00:08:39.680 or it's just a synonym, rather, for bad.
00:08:41.720 It's pure horror.
00:08:43.460 When people say white nationalist or racist, they just mean it's bad,
00:08:47.500 and it's a bad thing.
00:08:48.380 But I don't, that doesn't, there's no connection there at all.
00:08:50.700 And anti-feminism.
00:08:52.060 Feminism is an ideology which cannot be defended by feminists.
00:08:54.860 It's part of a wider shift of young people being dissatisfied with neoliberalism
00:08:58.940 and wanting social change.
00:09:01.240 So let's talk about the way in which tradwife culture presents the ideal relationship.
00:09:06.740 Men are providers, which means that only they participate in paid work
00:09:10.980 and make all the financial decisions.
00:09:13.060 He is responsible for the final say in all of our financial decisions.
00:09:16.540 And this is presented as a...
00:09:16.760 Put a pause, though.
00:09:17.660 Hold on.
00:09:18.480 That's...
00:09:18.800 What the tradwife just said is different from what the feminist lady just said.
00:09:23.200 Sneaky little bitches.
00:09:25.600 The feminist lady just said,
00:09:26.760 the man makes all the financial decisions.
00:09:29.160 And what the tradwife said is,
00:09:30.160 he has the final say in all of our financial decisions.
00:09:32.740 Those are very different things.
00:09:33.980 The tradwife is correct.
00:09:35.180 You won!
00:09:36.600 You did it!
00:09:37.640 The husband, as the head of household,
00:09:39.380 has the final say in these sorts of matters.
00:09:41.660 That's not to say that the man makes all the financial decisions.
00:09:44.620 In fact, in the home economy,
00:09:46.380 the traditional wife makes most of the financial decisions.
00:09:50.140 Makes the decisions on the groceries
00:09:52.020 and often pays the bills
00:09:53.380 and buys the clothes for the kids
00:09:55.180 and deals with the school
00:09:56.660 and deals with this and that and the other thing.
00:09:58.300 The man makes the final decision
00:10:00.040 in as much as you say,
00:10:01.340 okay, we're going to live in this town, not this town.
00:10:03.180 The kids, I don't like that school the kids are going to.
00:10:05.280 So maybe we should consider taking them to this school.
00:10:07.200 I don't really like those eggs.
00:10:08.400 Maybe we should get these other eggs.
00:10:09.420 Okay, maybe.
00:10:10.260 But in terms of practically who is running the home economy,
00:10:13.500 it's the wife almost 100% of the time.
00:10:16.600 And this is presented as a kind of equality.
00:10:19.400 While men and women have separate roles,
00:10:21.700 they are equal in their value.
00:10:23.720 Insisting on the equal value
00:10:24.980 between paid employment and unpaid care work,
00:10:27.360 which, by the way, is a feminist position,
00:10:29.520 hence the Wages for Housework campaign of the 1970s,
00:10:32.440 gets twisted into something much more sinister.
00:10:36.700 Willingly giving up financial independence.
00:10:39.740 Yes, put a pause.
00:10:40.960 When you get married,
00:10:42.260 you give up willingly financial independence.
00:10:45.140 That's true.
00:10:45.580 Men and women both do it.
00:10:47.000 And you get a shared bank account
00:10:48.960 and you move into a house that you buy together
00:10:51.880 and you're no longer independent entities in any way.
00:10:56.360 You leave your father and mother
00:10:58.840 and you become one flesh with your spouse.
00:11:02.320 That's marriage.
00:11:03.680 Marriage.
00:11:04.860 If you want to remain a totally independent person,
00:11:07.760 then don't get married.
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00:12:07.260 This isn't all soft filters
00:12:09.640 and sourdough inspiration.
00:12:11.740 It wasn't until the 1960s in America
00:12:14.080 and the mid-1970s in the UK
00:12:16.280 that women had the legal right
00:12:18.120 to open their own bank accounts
00:12:19.560 or access credit.
00:12:21.700 Which meant that many women,
00:12:23.100 particularly if they didn't work,
00:12:24.640 were entirely financially dependent
00:12:26.640 on a man.
00:12:27.560 And this dependency
00:12:28.740 didn't create happy marriages.
00:12:31.580 This isn't exactly true.
00:12:32.880 The way the feminists write this up
00:12:34.520 is that women didn't have any rights
00:12:36.240 or anything until the 70s, really.
00:12:39.940 And that isn't true.
00:12:41.780 The kernel of truth there
00:12:43.100 is that society was oriented
00:12:45.420 much more around the family
00:12:47.320 as the fundamental unit
00:12:48.780 than as the atomized individual.
00:12:51.200 And so as a practical matter,
00:12:52.600 yes, a woman was much less likely
00:12:54.540 to work and live in her own apartment
00:12:57.300 and just get a thousand cats
00:12:59.660 and have a hundred hookups
00:13:01.480 and not have ties to her family.
00:13:04.580 If you don't have a job
00:13:05.420 and you don't have assets,
00:13:07.080 then yeah, it's true.
00:13:08.000 You're not going to be taking out
00:13:09.120 huge lines of credit
00:13:10.080 or anything like that.
00:13:11.020 But it's not because
00:13:12.840 women were oppressed
00:13:14.080 or there was some targeting
00:13:15.400 of women by society.
00:13:16.820 It's because the society
00:13:17.620 was oriented in a different way.
00:13:19.120 A different way that
00:13:20.320 maybe just coincidentally
00:13:21.700 coincided with everybody
00:13:23.760 being happier.
00:13:24.960 As Betty Friedan found
00:13:26.100 in her 1963 book
00:13:27.460 The Feminine Mystique,
00:13:28.860 middle-class American women
00:13:29.980 who were living the suburban dream
00:13:31.640 of husbands and housewifery
00:13:33.120 were f***ing miserable.
00:13:36.040 In the 1950s,
00:13:37.360 the average age of marriage
00:13:38.260 for women was falling
00:13:39.260 and the number of children
00:13:40.700 they were having was rising.
00:13:43.420 In order to roll back
00:13:44.720 on the relative social autonomy
00:13:46.140 of women in the 1930s and 1940s,
00:13:48.940 post-war American culture
00:13:50.220 had begun to relentlessly focus
00:13:51.980 on the idea that fulfillment
00:13:53.160 for middle-class women
00:13:54.320 meant being a housewife.
00:13:56.640 For working-class women,
00:13:57.560 of course,
00:13:57.900 they were just meant to be
00:13:58.620 the middle-class women's nannies,
00:13:59.940 housekeepers and helpmates.
00:14:01.260 But even with the labor-saving
00:14:03.000 technology of dishwashers,
00:14:04.500 washing machines...
00:14:05.240 What is that little snide remark?
00:14:06.940 And there was this idea
00:14:08.100 after everyone was
00:14:08.960 extremely miserable
00:14:09.780 from the Great Depression
00:14:10.740 and this terrible war
00:14:11.760 and social decay of the...
00:14:13.380 Late 20s, really,
00:14:14.940 into the 1940s.
00:14:16.200 Then, Americans decided
00:14:18.200 they wanted to just get married
00:14:19.340 and have a good life
00:14:20.180 and be happy.
00:14:22.560 It's not as though
00:14:23.160 there were some law passed
00:14:24.220 that said,
00:14:24.640 OK, now all you middle-class women,
00:14:26.480 you have to get married
00:14:27.180 and have a good life.
00:14:28.320 No, they chose to do that
00:14:29.540 because it was better and nicer.
00:14:31.580 And then she says...
00:14:32.220 But not those working-class women
00:14:33.740 didn't get to do that.
00:14:34.960 Well, hold on.
00:14:35.300 I thought you were just telling me
00:14:36.080 that what the middle-class did
00:14:37.040 was terrible and made them miserable.
00:14:38.300 So then why are you
00:14:38.920 simultaneously complaining
00:14:40.040 that the working-class
00:14:41.020 didn't do it?
00:14:41.480 It's not as though
00:14:41.880 there were some law
00:14:42.420 that said the working-class
00:14:43.820 can't get married
00:14:44.540 and have this life.
00:14:45.380 There was the practical reality
00:14:46.940 that in the lower classes,
00:14:48.560 women had to go out
00:14:49.480 and work in public as well.
00:14:51.060 But notice the little
00:14:52.240 slate of hand here.
00:14:53.260 Oh, things were absolutely terrible
00:14:55.000 for these bourgeois middle-class women
00:14:57.420 who got to make a home.
00:14:58.980 And the poor working-class women
00:15:00.360 didn't even get to do that.
00:15:01.500 Well, hold on.
00:15:01.800 I thought that was witchism.
00:15:03.080 It's all just terrible.
00:15:04.080 We're all just going to
00:15:04.780 complain about everything.
00:15:05.680 OK, sounds like feminism to me.
00:15:07.300 That's not funny.
00:15:08.540 Still, the suburban wives of America
00:15:10.420 were not satisfied.
00:15:12.600 Frieden identified high rates
00:15:14.140 of depression, dissatisfaction,
00:15:15.700 and dependence on barbiturates.
00:15:18.660 Women being forced into a life
00:15:20.220 where they were denied autonomy
00:15:21.240 and the use of all
00:15:22.360 of their mental faculties
00:15:23.460 was decimating their mental health.
00:15:26.020 Decimating their mental health.
00:15:27.100 Which is why now,
00:15:29.060 after feminism,
00:15:29.980 they're much more medicated,
00:15:31.740 much more applied
00:15:32.340 with these drugs, right?
00:15:33.340 Yeah.
00:15:33.620 Though the trad wives of 2023
00:15:35.320 talk about men being in control
00:15:37.060 of the household finances
00:15:38.140 like it's a charitable act,
00:15:39.840 oh no, my stupid lady brain
00:15:40.960 can't cope with Texas.
00:15:42.160 It's a hugely dangerous thing to do.
00:15:45.000 I very much do so ask permission
00:15:47.360 to spend any kind of money,
00:15:49.200 even a dollar, I will ask.
00:15:50.800 According to Women's Aid,
00:15:51.860 nearly a third...
00:15:52.560 We've got to talk to Elisa about that.
00:15:54.200 She doesn't ask about a dollar.
00:15:55.240 ...relationship was controlled
00:15:56.440 by the perpetrator.
00:15:57.880 A quarter report that their partner...
00:15:59.460 Put a pause there.
00:16:01.260 She's like,
00:16:02.180 do you know in a third of cases
00:16:03.960 of spousal abuse,
00:16:05.820 loosely defined,
00:16:06.680 they would say that their husband
00:16:08.080 controlled the finances.
00:16:10.880 So what you're telling me
00:16:11.960 is that in the vast majority of cases,
00:16:14.300 the finances were shared
00:16:15.480 and were not...
00:16:16.640 She's saying there's just
00:16:17.240 no connection here between...
00:16:18.400 Did you know
00:16:19.220 that in 2% of cases...
00:16:21.600 Well, right, that doesn't...
00:16:22.600 That doesn't prove...
00:16:23.880 That doesn't prove your point at all.
00:16:26.040 I think it kind of suggests
00:16:27.040 the opposite of your point.
00:16:28.220 A quarter of cases
00:16:29.440 that report that partners
00:16:30.580 did not let them have money
00:16:31.720 for things during their relationship.
00:16:34.180 So in three quarters, they did.
00:16:36.780 So in two thirds,
00:16:37.720 they didn't have to...
00:16:38.360 What are you talking...
00:16:39.480 So the vast majority
00:16:40.440 in all of these cases
00:16:41.400 contradicts your argument.
00:16:44.580 Giving up your financial autonomy
00:16:46.200 and placing it in the hands
00:16:47.460 of your partner
00:16:48.000 is highly risky
00:16:49.500 if things do indeed go wrong.
00:16:51.600 If you've ever spent time
00:16:53.160 on Tradwife TikTok,
00:16:54.420 you'll notice a certain irony
00:16:56.040 that despite rejecting
00:16:57.480 modern womanhood,
00:16:58.860 its advocates love nothing more
00:17:00.540 than appropriating
00:17:01.480 the language of feminism
00:17:02.640 in order to advance
00:17:04.220 anti-feminist goals.
00:17:05.920 Because men and women
00:17:06.780 are so different
00:17:07.800 and that is okay.
00:17:09.560 We as women
00:17:10.240 just need to learn
00:17:10.940 that that is okay.
00:17:12.560 Stepping into your feminine side
00:17:13.860 is okay.
00:17:15.340 Being a mother is okay.
00:17:17.060 Once more,
00:17:17.620 this dresses up being...
00:17:18.700 That's not the language
00:17:19.920 of feminism.
00:17:22.000 Nope.
00:17:22.500 Feminism says quite the opposite.
00:17:24.060 Feminism says,
00:17:24.820 as this woman is saying now,
00:17:26.360 the only virtues
00:17:27.300 that really matter,
00:17:28.760 that really have value
00:17:29.900 are masculine virtues.
00:17:31.260 I'm a man, Jerry, I'm a man.
00:17:33.460 Yeah, housewife,
00:17:34.420 housewifery, yeah, whatever.
00:17:35.800 It's fine.
00:17:35.980 I'm going to make a whole long video
00:17:36.900 making fun of it.
00:17:37.580 But fine, okay, whatever.
00:17:38.860 But it's not nearly as important
00:17:40.300 as what the men do.
00:17:41.640 And all the things
00:17:42.340 that women traditionally do,
00:17:43.400 yeah, all this feminine value,
00:17:45.180 no, it's not nearly as important
00:17:47.240 as what the men do.
00:17:48.080 And that's always been
00:17:49.620 the feminist line.
00:17:50.740 The conservative line is,
00:17:51.860 no, women have something different
00:17:54.220 that is very valuable.
00:17:56.220 Licitly submissive to your husband
00:17:57.960 as an act of individualist liberation.
00:18:01.320 But the simple truth
00:18:02.860 is that if it were possible
00:18:03.980 for men and women
00:18:04.700 to be socially equal
00:18:05.800 but financially unequal,
00:18:07.480 the tradwife trend
00:18:08.960 wouldn't be popular
00:18:09.800 with reactionaries
00:18:10.860 and the far right.
00:18:12.400 It's the very fact that-
00:18:13.400 The far right means normal people.
00:18:14.860 ...voluntarily surrendering
00:18:16.300 their autonomy
00:18:16.920 by presenting it
00:18:17.920 as an aspirational lifestyle
00:18:19.480 which makes it so popular
00:18:21.240 with conservatives,
00:18:22.480 misogynists,
00:18:23.540 white nationalists,
00:18:24.600 and religious fundamentalists.
00:18:26.480 I love here, she goes,
00:18:28.480 Perpetuating these ideas
00:18:30.300 in the popular culture,
00:18:32.160 you're encouraging people
00:18:33.500 to fall into these behaviors
00:18:35.080 and ideologies.
00:18:36.440 That's interesting.
00:18:37.760 Do transgenderism.
00:18:40.260 Because what I've been told
00:18:45.880 about transgenderism
00:18:47.000 is that-
00:18:48.480 No, no, it makes no difference
00:18:50.100 if young people
00:18:51.200 are being bombarded
00:18:52.820 with transgender ideas
00:18:55.080 in the classroom
00:18:55.940 from the White House
00:18:57.220 on TikTok
00:18:57.900 on all of social media
00:18:59.540 in the movies
00:19:00.480 on TV.
00:19:01.180 No, no, that's not going
00:19:02.280 to increase rates
00:19:03.320 of transgender identity.
00:19:05.340 No, that's purely biological.
00:19:07.320 That's a matter
00:19:07.780 of individual choice
00:19:09.280 and autonomy.
00:19:11.160 But what if a young girl
00:19:12.880 sees a TikTok
00:19:14.420 of a happy wife
00:19:15.800 that's going to ruin her life
00:19:17.860 by drawing her in
00:19:19.780 to this cult of normality?
00:19:23.120 Wife material.
00:19:24.120 I had to chop and screw
00:19:26.900 her mind a little bit.
00:19:28.600 I was playing like
00:19:30.720 operation with her brain.
00:19:32.120 The Trad Wife trend
00:19:33.000 sits in the middle
00:19:33.820 of an online content network
00:19:35.800 drawing together
00:19:36.800 different subcultures,
00:19:38.060 movements, and interests.
00:19:39.760 Its focus on homemaking
00:19:41.220 connects to other lifestyle content
00:19:42.900 like recipes,
00:19:43.960 interior decor,
00:19:45.040 skincare,
00:19:46.000 soft life,
00:19:46.700 and homesteading.
00:19:47.640 Which is like farming
00:19:48.880 but made aesthetic.
00:19:50.460 Its interest in marriage
00:19:51.700 and relationships,
00:19:52.720 obviously,
00:19:53.560 links to dating,
00:19:54.460 psychology,
00:19:55.140 and self-help.
00:19:56.860 And its rigid belief
00:19:58.360 in fixed gender roles,
00:20:00.260 its rejection of feminism
00:20:01.660 and liberal,
00:20:02.560 left-wing,
00:20:03.000 or progressive values,
00:20:04.260 and its emphasis
00:20:05.060 on Christianity
00:20:05.980 means that it has lent
00:20:07.700 a feminine veneer
00:20:08.900 to conservative,
00:20:09.900 far-right,
00:20:10.580 and white nationalist
00:20:11.660 ideologies.
00:20:12.860 One thing that comes up
00:20:13.980 again and again
00:20:14.640 is this idea
00:20:15.640 of women submitting
00:20:16.500 to their husbands
00:20:17.380 as a form of submission
00:20:18.680 to God.
00:20:19.620 Wives respect your husbands.
00:20:21.200 It's biblical.
00:20:22.000 It's in the Bible.
00:20:23.200 You treat your husband
00:20:24.060 as the head of the household
00:20:25.160 and obey him.
00:20:26.260 It's a sacrifice.
00:20:27.560 But it is a sacrifice
00:20:28.840 well worth it.
00:20:30.920 And this is meant to be
00:20:32.300 a reciprocal relationship.
00:20:34.120 You, as a woman,
00:20:35.160 don't have to feel degraded
00:20:36.440 by submitting to your husband
00:20:37.660 because the premise is
00:20:38.960 that his religious beliefs
00:20:40.120 stop him from behaving badly.
00:20:41.940 You want your wife
00:20:42.760 to follow you?
00:20:44.020 Be a man and follow Jesus
00:20:45.680 and give her a reason to.
00:20:47.440 Hmm.
00:20:48.120 Only we had any history
00:20:49.620 of religious men
00:20:50.420 wielding their power
00:20:51.200 to abuse those
00:20:51.960 more vulnerable than them.
00:20:53.320 I'm surrounded by idiots!
00:20:55.380 Hold on,
00:20:55.640 put a pause there.
00:20:56.140 I love how
00:20:57.000 it says these religious men.
00:20:58.820 Well, hold on.
00:20:59.380 All of the women
00:21:00.520 who are going on TikTok here,
00:21:02.680 they're speaking specifically
00:21:04.280 about Christian husbands.
00:21:05.980 But then what happens?
00:21:07.180 She says,
00:21:07.560 well, what about
00:21:08.000 these other religious men?
00:21:09.020 She goes to some bizarre cults
00:21:10.700 that have nothing
00:21:11.120 to do with Christianity.
00:21:12.300 She says, well, what about that?
00:21:13.120 Well, there are all sorts
00:21:13.780 of religions.
00:21:15.060 Satanism is a kind of religion.
00:21:16.460 It's an anti-religion.
00:21:17.860 Everybody has a kind
00:21:18.840 of a religion
00:21:19.320 in that everybody's
00:21:20.100 got to serve somebody.
00:21:20.980 So you've got to drill down
00:21:21.780 a little bit more.
00:21:22.480 And what the trad wives
00:21:23.300 are saying is that,
00:21:24.620 yes, we follow the Bible.
00:21:25.960 We're Christian.
00:21:26.540 And it says that wives
00:21:28.340 ought to submit
00:21:29.100 to their husbands.
00:21:30.500 But don't forget
00:21:31.200 the other part
00:21:31.660 that this feminist is missing.
00:21:33.400 It says,
00:21:33.720 husbands, love your wives
00:21:35.080 as Christ loves his church.
00:21:37.240 What does that kind
00:21:38.080 of love look like?
00:21:38.900 Well, it looks like
00:21:39.460 the kind of love
00:21:40.060 that would be battered
00:21:41.360 and scourged
00:21:42.000 and crucified
00:21:42.540 for God so loved the world
00:21:44.720 that he gave his only son
00:21:45.900 that whoever believes in him
00:21:47.820 might not perish
00:21:48.320 but have everlasting life.
00:21:49.720 That is a sacrificial love
00:21:51.960 that this feminist
00:21:52.960 seems to be totally,
00:21:54.980 totally neglecting
00:21:56.620 because, of course,
00:21:57.660 it undercuts her argument.
00:22:00.140 Like with the example
00:22:01.240 of finances,
00:22:02.280 the idea of submission
00:22:03.020 is that by giving up
00:22:03.940 her independence,
00:22:04.920 autonomy, and power,
00:22:06.600 a woman will be taken care of
00:22:08.100 by a good and godly man.
00:22:09.720 But the idea
00:22:10.520 of a husband loving his wife,
00:22:12.480 so does that
00:22:13.380 undercut the idea
00:22:14.560 of independence
00:22:15.280 and maximizing
00:22:16.040 individual autonomy
00:22:17.000 because to love
00:22:17.980 is to will the good
00:22:18.780 of the other person.
00:22:19.620 And to love
00:22:20.780 one's wife
00:22:21.600 as Christ loves his church
00:22:22.920 is to pour out
00:22:24.040 everything for that person.
00:22:25.600 So, yes,
00:22:26.280 the wife gives up
00:22:27.740 some of her independence
00:22:29.040 when she enters
00:22:30.320 into a marriage.
00:22:31.160 The husband also gives up
00:22:32.820 some of,
00:22:34.120 most of his independence
00:22:35.160 when he enters
00:22:35.800 into a marriage.
00:22:37.080 That's what marriage is.
00:22:39.400 He serves Christ,
00:22:40.860 but only one person
00:22:41.740 is scrubbing out
00:22:42.360 the toilet.
00:22:43.640 But the influence
00:22:44.600 of fundamentalist religion
00:22:45.880 extends far beyond
00:22:47.080 whatever private arrangements
00:22:48.340 a couple may have
00:22:49.140 as part of a household.
00:22:50.880 Child wife culture
00:22:51.480 is dominated
00:22:52.100 by aggressively
00:22:52.760 anti-abortion,
00:22:54.280 anti-birth control,
00:22:55.320 and anti-sex views.
00:22:57.460 Put it positive.
00:22:57.980 That's not true.
00:22:59.000 The first two are true.
00:23:00.380 Yeah, it's dominated
00:23:01.360 by not slaughtering babies
00:23:02.880 and it's dominated
00:23:03.620 by not withholding
00:23:05.480 yourself from your spouse
00:23:07.520 and not engaging in sex
00:23:09.080 as merely a way
00:23:10.260 to satisfy your own
00:23:11.400 individual pleasure censors,
00:23:13.740 but as a way
00:23:15.020 to give to your spouse.
00:23:16.340 Because the husband
00:23:17.320 and the wife
00:23:17.820 become one flesh
00:23:18.820 and their love
00:23:19.980 is so real
00:23:20.920 that it becomes
00:23:21.600 another person
00:23:22.440 in the act of sex.
00:23:24.440 That is pretty amazing,
00:23:26.180 isn't it?
00:23:27.080 That's the traditional
00:23:27.820 view of sex.
00:23:28.500 The modern liberal
00:23:29.540 feminist view of sex
00:23:30.440 is that sex is just
00:23:31.420 about titillating yourself
00:23:32.420 for a little bit
00:23:33.060 and feeling good
00:23:33.740 for a little
00:23:34.260 and then moving on
00:23:35.220 and doing whatever
00:23:35.680 you want individually.
00:23:36.680 Whatever.
00:23:37.640 I'll do what I want.
00:23:39.020 Anesthetics of wellness
00:23:40.000 influencers,
00:23:41.140 tradwife,
00:23:41.760 religious,
00:23:42.300 and conservative advocates
00:23:43.360 have taken to TikTok
00:23:44.260 in order to push
00:23:45.140 disinformation about
00:23:46.380 birth control.
00:23:47.700 This can range
00:23:48.540 from forcibly calling
00:23:49.640 the pill a carcinogenic
00:23:50.900 to hyping out the rhythm
00:23:52.360 or pull-out methods
00:23:53.240 on social media.
00:23:54.500 Just to be clear,
00:23:55.620 these are less forms
00:23:56.540 of contraception
00:23:57.240 than they are
00:23:57.660 playing pregnancy roulette.
00:23:59.120 Put a pause there.
00:23:59.900 So the ignorance
00:24:01.500 of feminists and liberals
00:24:02.880 should not astound me
00:24:04.240 anymore,
00:24:04.580 but it does.
00:24:05.300 But when they call it
00:24:06.640 the pull-out method
00:24:07.380 in a very vulgar way,
00:24:08.800 what they might be referring
00:24:09.580 to is natural family planning,
00:24:11.320 which is a natural way
00:24:13.820 of understanding
00:24:15.180 a woman's menstrual cycle
00:24:16.560 and it's practiced
00:24:17.180 by a lot of Catholics
00:24:18.140 and it's extraordinarily effective.
00:24:21.900 Extraordinary.
00:24:22.780 It's effective north of 98%
00:24:25.320 and it's based on
00:24:27.660 a much more sophisticated
00:24:28.620 kind of medical science
00:24:29.740 than whatever the libs say
00:24:31.280 is inject a bunch of hormones
00:24:32.460 into your body
00:24:33.020 and it definitely
00:24:33.600 won't have any effect.
00:24:35.000 It definitely won't increase
00:24:36.060 the likelihood
00:24:36.640 that you develop breast cancer
00:24:38.180 or any other kinds of cancers,
00:24:39.340 even though there have
00:24:39.980 actually been studies
00:24:40.760 to the effect that shows
00:24:41.560 that it dramatically
00:24:42.200 can increase the likelihood
00:24:43.320 of those cancers.
00:24:44.240 No, no, no.
00:24:44.620 Ignore that kind of science.
00:24:46.100 Just do it
00:24:46.780 and that way you can have
00:24:47.520 meaningless sex
00:24:48.200 with people who don't like you
00:24:49.760 and that will make you
00:24:51.100 more fulfilled, right?
00:24:53.380 Right?
00:24:54.400 Don't think so.
00:24:55.360 As well as celebrating
00:24:56.180 the overturn of Roe versus Wade,
00:24:58.160 some trad wives
00:24:58.840 have allied themselves
00:24:59.740 with the conservative right
00:25:00.780 by taking aggressively
00:25:02.120 transphobic stances,
00:25:03.680 contrasting trans,
00:25:04.880 queer,
00:25:05.200 and even just feminist women
00:25:06.260 to their authentic,
00:25:07.880 natural,
00:25:08.420 and politically reactionary
00:25:09.840 model of femininity.
00:25:11.020 Yeah, what happens
00:25:11.760 when you contrast
00:25:12.520 those two things?
00:25:13.340 Some of the big
00:25:13.840 trad wife social media accounts.
00:25:15.400 One group is happy
00:25:16.620 and the other one's miserable.
00:25:17.440 Anti-mask content.
00:25:19.060 To claiming that feminism
00:25:20.200 and LGBT rights movements
00:25:21.760 are part of a depopulation agenda.
00:25:24.120 There's an overlap,
00:25:25.000 therefore,
00:25:25.440 between the trad wife trend
00:25:26.600 and white nationalism.
00:25:28.360 This overlap can be implicit.
00:25:30.500 What?
00:25:31.900 What?
00:25:32.500 What?
00:25:32.780 What?
00:25:33.020 The only tie-in
00:25:34.300 I can find
00:25:35.140 between any of the things
00:25:36.020 she's talking about
00:25:36.720 and white nationalism
00:25:37.720 is the origin
00:25:39.580 of Planned Parenthood.
00:25:40.940 And the founder
00:25:41.580 of Planned Parenthood,
00:25:42.380 Margaret Sanger,
00:25:43.280 writing to one of her directors,
00:25:44.980 program directors,
00:25:45.760 saying we wouldn't want
00:25:46.640 word to go out
00:25:47.300 that we want to exterminate
00:25:48.160 the Negro population.
00:25:49.020 That is not only part
00:25:50.360 of a depopulation agenda,
00:25:51.700 but it's explicitly part
00:25:53.340 of a white supremacist
00:25:55.080 or white nationalist,
00:25:55.920 whatever you want
00:25:56.260 to call it, agenda.
00:25:57.160 But that's on the side
00:25:58.080 of the liberals
00:25:58.620 and the feminists
00:25:59.460 and the contra-seivers.
00:26:02.620 Thanks.
00:26:03.060 And of course,
00:26:04.780 all of these modern
00:26:06.380 sexual ideas
00:26:07.240 are part of a depopulation agenda.
00:26:08.560 There's nothing secret
00:26:09.300 about this.
00:26:10.060 One of the most important books
00:26:11.700 in the late 20th century
00:26:12.560 was a book called
00:26:13.000 The Population Bomb
00:26:13.820 by Paul Ehrlich.
00:26:15.180 And the thesis of this book
00:26:17.180 in the early 70s
00:26:18.100 was that we have to cut
00:26:20.040 population growth
00:26:21.220 and we have to do that
00:26:22.560 through contraception
00:26:23.860 and through abortion.
00:26:25.020 And if people
00:26:25.980 won't do it voluntarily,
00:26:26.960 we have to do it coercively.
00:26:28.480 And these policies
00:26:29.380 were then adopted
00:26:30.020 in India and China
00:26:31.320 and had disastrous results.
00:26:32.560 And they're still
00:26:32.960 being promoted today
00:26:33.760 even though it's BS
00:26:34.600 because since the 1970s
00:26:36.340 the world population
00:26:37.080 has doubled.
00:26:37.660 Malnutrition has fallen
00:26:38.440 to an all-time low.
00:26:39.380 But it's still being promoted
00:26:40.400 by Bill Gates.
00:26:41.280 It's still being promoted
00:26:42.000 by Oprah.
00:26:42.520 It's still being promoted
00:26:43.060 by some of the wealthiest
00:26:44.000 and most powerful people
00:26:44.820 in our whole culture.
00:26:46.540 Is it a tinfoil hat
00:26:47.920 conspiracy theory
00:26:48.880 if the people promoting
00:26:50.500 the conspiracy
00:26:51.280 openly espouse it?
00:26:53.040 I don't think so.
00:26:53.660 Taking place
00:26:54.260 through aesthetics.
00:26:55.440 This might be using
00:26:56.600 adverts of white nuclear families
00:26:58.300 from the 1950s
00:26:59.360 to stand in
00:26:59.980 for the universal
00:27:00.740 ideal marriage.
00:27:01.860 Or contrasting
00:27:03.400 the ideal trad wife
00:27:04.660 to the stereotypical
00:27:06.100 boss bitch
00:27:06.920 who's always associated
00:27:08.420 with hip-hop culture
00:27:09.300 and almost always black.
00:27:10.900 This reinforces the idea
00:27:12.340 that the ideal
00:27:13.080 most elegant
00:27:13.760 and most desirable
00:27:15.020 model of femininity
00:27:16.120 is white European.
00:27:18.340 And...
00:27:18.420 One of her examples
00:27:19.280 was a black guy.
00:27:20.000 What's she talking about?
00:27:20.860 I feel like I'm taking
00:27:21.800 crazy pills!
00:27:23.320 ...feminine,
00:27:23.980 more aggressive
00:27:24.520 and more in need
00:27:25.440 of civilizing.
00:27:26.220 But the connections
00:27:27.240 can also be more explicit.
00:27:29.520 One mumfluencer
00:27:30.360 called Wife with a Purpose
00:27:31.780 issued a white baby challenge
00:27:33.660 calling on women
00:27:34.460 to have as many
00:27:35.160 white babies as possible.
00:27:36.780 This is an idea
00:27:37.580 central to neo-Nazism.
00:27:40.100 Its adherents justify
00:27:41.200 their violent
00:27:41.800 and hateful ideologies
00:27:43.280 by talking about
00:27:44.600 the need to secure
00:27:45.440 a future for white children
00:27:46.880 and making sure
00:27:48.140 that the beauty
00:27:48.700 of the white Aryan woman,
00:27:50.240 their words,
00:27:50.840 does not perish
00:27:51.840 from the earth.
00:27:52.620 But how does this work?
00:27:55.260 Because as I just pointed out,
00:27:56.520 one of her examples
00:27:57.200 of a traditional married couple
00:27:58.340 was a black guy
00:27:59.840 with a white woman.
00:28:01.340 And she got very upset
00:28:02.220 because the black guy
00:28:02.820 was telling jokes
00:28:03.420 about how he had to go in
00:28:04.440 and re-engineer
00:28:05.900 his wife's brain.
00:28:07.500 So how does that jive?
00:28:08.380 If she's saying that
00:28:09.140 white identitarianism
00:28:11.100 is at the heart
00:28:12.060 of the trad wife concept,
00:28:13.440 then how does that jive
00:28:14.500 with one of the handful
00:28:15.720 of examples
00:28:16.280 that she's using
00:28:17.000 of traditional marriages
00:28:18.660 in here?
00:28:19.000 It doesn't work at all.
00:28:19.900 She's just trying to pick
00:28:20.720 anything she can.
00:28:21.720 She's just grasping
00:28:22.360 at straws.
00:28:23.280 And so she finds
00:28:23.940 some comment
00:28:24.760 from some woman
00:28:26.460 on responding
00:28:27.760 to Steve King
00:28:28.380 and says,
00:28:28.760 see,
00:28:29.500 it's all about Nazism
00:28:31.220 or whatever.
00:28:31.960 But that's been
00:28:32.840 totally absent
00:28:33.740 from her entire commentary.
00:28:36.160 Pushed by white nationalists,
00:28:38.080 if modernity
00:28:38.840 is defined by diversity,
00:28:40.560 both of lifestyles
00:28:41.640 and of ethnicity,
00:28:43.260 then the trad wife
00:28:44.120 marks the return
00:28:44.980 to an era
00:28:45.640 of social
00:28:46.460 and racial conformity.
00:28:48.080 Well, sure,
00:28:48.440 put a pause.
00:28:49.300 If my grandma
00:28:50.480 had wheels,
00:28:51.020 she'd be a wagon.
00:28:51.720 But I don't really see
00:28:53.140 how that's the premise here.
00:28:54.300 The defining feature
00:28:55.120 of modernity
00:28:55.800 is not diversity.
00:28:57.500 I mean,
00:28:57.740 certainly the modern culture
00:28:59.200 creates an idol
00:29:00.000 out of diversity.
00:29:00.740 I'm not saying
00:29:01.300 that that's not part
00:29:01.980 of it at all.
00:29:02.800 But I think
00:29:03.240 the defining feature
00:29:04.060 of modernity
00:29:04.640 is decadence,
00:29:05.860 an idea of decay,
00:29:07.740 an idea of merely
00:29:09.020 consuming
00:29:09.820 the cultural resources
00:29:12.280 that have been built up
00:29:13.400 over many generations,
00:29:15.040 over centuries.
00:29:15.700 Rather than adding to them,
00:29:17.680 rather than building things,
00:29:18.760 we merely consume.
00:29:20.020 We do not produce children.
00:29:22.240 We just live for ourselves
00:29:23.300 and go on fun trips
00:29:24.140 and buy nice handbags
00:29:25.280 or whatever people do
00:29:26.360 with their money.
00:29:27.220 We do not ask
00:29:28.760 what we can do
00:29:29.820 for our country.
00:29:30.460 We simply ask,
00:29:31.140 what can my country
00:29:31.680 do for me?
00:29:32.480 We don't consider
00:29:33.320 the common good
00:29:34.020 in our politics.
00:29:34.780 We merely consider
00:29:35.960 our own individual benefit.
00:29:38.040 We don't consider
00:29:38.700 the good of the spouse
00:29:39.580 or the good of the other.
00:29:40.400 We merely consider
00:29:41.120 our own individual autonomy.
00:29:42.640 What she's describing,
00:29:43.640 those are all features
00:29:44.720 of the libs.
00:29:46.120 And she's trying
00:29:46.500 to reduce that
00:29:46.980 and say,
00:29:47.200 it's all racist
00:29:48.060 or whatever.
00:29:48.940 But no,
00:29:50.120 the defining feature
00:29:51.020 is just a hyper-focus
00:29:52.420 on the self,
00:29:54.060 the gratification
00:29:54.880 of one's lowest appetites.
00:29:56.520 And that is bad.
00:29:57.640 And that's something
00:29:58.340 that the trad wives
00:29:59.040 are reacting against.
00:30:00.500 Agency aren't usually
00:30:01.600 so keen on submitting
00:30:02.740 themselves to a life
00:30:03.660 of reproductive captivity
00:30:04.740 in the interest
00:30:05.820 of furthering racism.
00:30:07.540 Hence, trad wives.
00:30:08.720 White nationalism,
00:30:09.760 anti-choice ideology,
00:30:10.740 and religious fundamentalism aside,
00:30:13.280 Put a pause there.
00:30:14.020 I just love this idea
00:30:14.820 of the white nationalism
00:30:16.100 and the anti-choice ideology.
00:30:18.560 Black people are disproportionately
00:30:20.060 the victims of abortion
00:30:21.720 in the United States.
00:30:22.980 In many states,
00:30:24.080 they constitute
00:30:24.840 the majority of abortions.
00:30:26.700 This is not an accident.
00:30:27.760 This was by design.
00:30:29.080 The early proponents
00:30:30.600 of abortion
00:30:31.640 specifically targeted
00:30:33.340 black people.
00:30:34.380 And it's a genocide.
00:30:35.440 In New York City,
00:30:36.320 more black babies
00:30:37.180 are murdered in the womb
00:30:38.480 than are born
00:30:39.700 each year.
00:30:40.720 The most dangerous place
00:30:41.820 for a black person
00:30:43.060 in New York
00:30:43.820 is in his mother's own womb.
00:30:45.600 Okay.
00:30:46.080 She said,
00:30:46.380 well, this is about
00:30:47.060 white nationalism.
00:30:49.420 Well, if the white supremacy
00:30:51.740 keeping the black man down,
00:30:53.300 what are you talking about?
00:30:54.460 These would be very
00:30:55.300 poorly strategic
00:30:56.660 white nationalists
00:30:58.100 if they're opposing abortion
00:31:00.000 because nothing advances
00:31:01.380 the white supremacist agenda
00:31:03.980 quite like killing
00:31:04.640 all the black people,
00:31:05.380 which is happening right now
00:31:06.460 through abortion.
00:31:07.460 Whether the trad wife trend
00:31:08.600 is an empowering reclamation
00:31:10.380 of domestic labor
00:31:11.360 or just regular old sexism
00:31:13.140 made palatable
00:31:13.780 with TikTok aesthetics,
00:31:15.220 just look at the kind of men
00:31:16.600 who approve of it.
00:31:17.780 I don't like girls
00:31:18.460 who are over-sociable.
00:31:19.520 I don't like girls
00:31:19.960 who know lots of people.
00:31:21.040 I don't like girls
00:31:21.440 who are always out.
00:31:22.680 As someone who, you know,
00:31:24.100 is totally down
00:31:25.080 with looking at girls
00:31:25.740 half naked on Instagram,
00:31:27.140 it's f***ing great, but...
00:31:28.440 Here are two men,
00:31:29.820 both accused of sex crimes,
00:31:31.060 by the way,
00:31:31.520 who have made money
00:31:32.820 by sexualizing women.
00:31:34.380 They've crafted
00:31:34.920 their professional personas
00:31:36.140 around having sex
00:31:36.900 with lots of different women,
00:31:38.280 but here they are
00:31:39.340 celebrating trad wives
00:31:40.440 and denigrating modern women.
00:31:42.780 And that isn't because
00:31:43.820 they want to treat women
00:31:45.100 as a whole better,
00:31:46.620 but because it serves
00:31:47.680 as an excuse
00:31:48.380 to treat lots of women
00:31:49.660 much worse because...
00:31:51.460 She admits in the very first part
00:31:53.100 that these guys,
00:31:54.420 like Andrew Tate,
00:31:55.440 they're not participants
00:31:56.400 in a traditional marriage.
00:31:57.960 And she's saying,
00:31:59.260 yeah, but these guys
00:32:01.480 also are criticizing
00:32:02.820 modern feminist culture
00:32:04.240 and they're also admiring
00:32:05.800 the trad wife culture.
00:32:07.460 Yeah, that's true.
00:32:08.000 I don't need to participate
00:32:09.020 in something
00:32:09.580 to have a point of view
00:32:10.540 about it.
00:32:11.100 I'm a human being
00:32:12.440 with rational faculties
00:32:13.520 and powers of perception,
00:32:14.280 so I can perceive something.
00:32:15.920 I can know something
00:32:16.780 about cancer
00:32:17.500 without having to have cancer.
00:32:19.160 But what she's trying
00:32:19.980 to do there
00:32:20.440 is then say
00:32:21.040 these men are standing in
00:32:22.560 for what this
00:32:23.920 trad wife phenomenon means.
00:32:25.260 But no,
00:32:25.560 if you wanted to talk
00:32:26.360 about a man
00:32:27.080 who is participating
00:32:28.440 in the phenomenon
00:32:29.180 of trad wives,
00:32:29.800 you would find
00:32:30.200 a traditional husband.
00:32:31.780 But she's not going
00:32:32.680 to point to any
00:32:33.240 traditional husbands
00:32:33.960 because she knows
00:32:34.520 that traditional husbands
00:32:35.320 have great lives
00:32:36.160 and are doing the right thing
00:32:37.140 and are making their wives
00:32:39.400 generally happy
00:32:40.500 or as happy as can be
00:32:41.440 and they're not
00:32:42.780 so easily attacked.
00:32:44.500 They're not the good girls
00:32:45.620 or whatever.
00:32:46.420 That's not about
00:32:47.160 embracing tradition,
00:32:48.220 respect and dignity.
00:32:49.800 That's just
00:32:50.380 old-fashioned misogyny.
00:32:52.320 Okay, so
00:32:52.820 while I think
00:32:53.580 all these things
00:32:54.220 explain the political impact
00:32:55.840 of the trad wife trend,
00:32:57.160 they don't explain
00:32:57.900 why it's so appealing
00:32:58.620 in the first place.
00:32:59.680 The answer
00:33:00.160 is simple.
00:33:01.620 Modern life
00:33:02.200 in many ways
00:33:03.240 sucks.
00:33:04.560 It's hard to make the case
00:33:05.680 in an era of low wages,
00:33:07.100 high anxiety,
00:33:07.920 precarious work
00:33:08.540 and extortionate rents
00:33:10.260 that women are liberated
00:33:11.520 just through entering
00:33:12.620 the labor market.
00:33:13.800 Put a pause there.
00:33:14.680 So she's approaching this
00:33:16.220 through a Marxist lens
00:33:18.000 and she's looking
00:33:18.740 at all of these aspects
00:33:20.740 of modern misery-inducing society
00:33:23.760 as merely consequences
00:33:25.620 of capital
00:33:26.600 and labor
00:33:27.400 and economics.
00:33:28.980 What she's neglecting here
00:33:30.280 is skyrocketing rates
00:33:31.500 of hopelessness,
00:33:33.420 skyrocketing rates
00:33:35.180 of identity disorders
00:33:36.580 and that is not
00:33:38.420 distillable down
00:33:40.020 to merely
00:33:40.520 economic consequences.
00:33:42.280 We're made in the image
00:33:42.980 and likeness of God.
00:33:43.840 We have dreams
00:33:44.480 and desires.
00:33:45.800 We have intuitions
00:33:46.740 of things beyond
00:33:48.200 this material world
00:33:49.440 and we long for God
00:33:50.980 ultimately.
00:33:52.000 And so
00:33:52.220 what would explain
00:33:53.280 this misery?
00:33:53.960 Well, it might be,
00:33:55.320 I think,
00:33:55.960 the fact that we have
00:33:56.620 a God-shaped hole
00:33:57.200 in our heart
00:33:57.600 that's not being filled.
00:33:59.020 It might be
00:33:59.920 that as we turn away
00:34:02.320 from God
00:34:03.680 whose name is
00:34:04.300 I am that I am,
00:34:05.460 we're left with
00:34:05.860 a pathetic question
00:34:06.800 which is who am I?
00:34:08.300 And we try to seek out
00:34:09.880 all sorts of absurd identities
00:34:11.220 to fill that.
00:34:12.040 I'm going to be a playboy.
00:34:13.260 I'm going to be
00:34:13.920 a boss woman.
00:34:15.720 I'm going to be
00:34:16.600 the opposite sex.
00:34:17.600 I'm going to be this,
00:34:18.520 that, or the other thing.
00:34:19.160 But that's always going
00:34:19.700 to leave us unhappy.
00:34:21.440 We then,
00:34:22.100 as a result of that,
00:34:22.820 have a breakdown
00:34:23.380 in society,
00:34:24.200 in traditional community,
00:34:25.140 in the civil society.
00:34:26.580 And so that takes away
00:34:28.340 our roles.
00:34:29.320 And because man
00:34:29.880 is a political animal,
00:34:31.080 we take much of our identity
00:34:32.480 from our roles in society.
00:34:34.220 This is why in ancient Greece,
00:34:35.280 for instance,
00:34:36.060 Socrates chose to drink
00:34:37.260 the hemlock
00:34:37.700 rather than to be ostracized.
00:34:39.040 Because to be ostracized,
00:34:40.080 to leave one's community,
00:34:41.120 is to lose one's identity.
00:34:42.380 That's the traditional understanding.
00:34:43.760 We've lost that understanding today.
00:34:47.040 And so people,
00:34:47.940 even when they're living
00:34:48.920 in a community,
00:34:49.760 they don't understand
00:34:50.500 what their role is
00:34:51.240 in that community.
00:34:52.120 They don't understand
00:34:52.720 what their identity is.
00:34:54.040 Yes, there are
00:34:54.620 some economic problems,
00:34:55.880 but that doesn't even
00:34:56.520 come close to explaining it.
00:34:57.720 It does explain
00:34:58.840 why the liberals
00:34:59.440 and the feminists
00:35:00.160 keep running their heads
00:35:01.280 against a wall,
00:35:02.100 why they don't understand
00:35:03.000 why they're so miserable.
00:35:04.280 It's because life
00:35:04.740 is about more than money.
00:35:05.980 Now, that leaning in alone
00:35:07.160 won't make you a girlboss.
00:35:08.920 The relative economic security
00:35:10.420 of previous decades,
00:35:12.040 a job for life,
00:35:12.900 housing you could afford,
00:35:14.020 pensions,
00:35:14.480 and a debt-free life,
00:35:15.800 has been obliterated
00:35:17.240 in the slash and burn
00:35:18.280 of neoliberalism.
00:35:19.520 If you're under 45
00:35:20.380 or you don't own a house,
00:35:21.680 the future can feel bleak.
00:35:23.160 You add to that
00:35:23.800 the experiences
00:35:24.460 that many people
00:35:25.180 have dating,
00:35:26.140 like being ghosted
00:35:27.320 or being treated
00:35:27.960 like you're disposable.
00:35:29.440 It's no wonder
00:35:30.240 that people feel dissatisfied,
00:35:32.100 intensely so,
00:35:33.380 with the status quo.
00:35:34.760 There is a longing
00:35:35.520 for care,
00:35:36.640 for order,
00:35:37.280 for security,
00:35:37.960 and certainty.
00:35:39.120 And the fantasy
00:35:39.840 being sold by tradwives
00:35:41.180 is that all those things
00:35:42.180 are in reach for women.
00:35:43.640 It's not a fantasy.
00:35:44.720 It's real.
00:35:45.420 It's real, baby.
00:35:46.240 You can do it.
00:35:47.460 ...an idealized past.
00:35:49.440 And that's the thing.
00:35:50.860 The lifestyle being sold
00:35:51.940 is a fantasy.
00:35:53.660 It's fictitious.
00:35:55.240 As my colleague,
00:35:55.940 Moya Lothian-McLean,
00:35:56.920 has argued...
00:35:57.340 Whatever helps you sleep
00:35:58.080 at night, honey.
00:35:58.660 ...doesn't really show
00:35:59.520 images of domestic labor.
00:36:01.320 It depicts domestic leisure.
00:36:03.600 Personally,
00:36:04.460 I believe I'm not meant to work.
00:36:06.600 I'm meant to do this all day.
00:36:09.100 It's like an extended session
00:36:10.840 of playing dress-up.
00:36:12.140 You get to glide around
00:36:13.520 wearing floaty skirts
00:36:14.380 and dresses,
00:36:15.460 organizing your snack cupboard
00:36:16.520 and baking bread.
00:36:17.940 And look,
00:36:18.340 that's my idea
00:36:19.040 of a nice day too.
00:36:20.380 Who doesn't like an opportunity
00:36:21.920 to feel gorgeous
00:36:23.060 and eat nice things?
00:36:24.520 You can do it.
00:36:25.480 You can do it.
00:36:26.600 It's within reach.
00:36:28.000 You just have to give up
00:36:29.120 your feminism.
00:36:30.020 A lifestyle of skincare
00:36:30.980 and sourdough,
00:36:32.360 taking the path
00:36:33.020 of least resistance
00:36:33.720 and doing so aesthetically.
00:36:35.440 Path of least resistance?
00:36:36.580 Put a pause there.
00:36:37.320 Path of least resistance?
00:36:39.040 You are resisting right now.
00:36:40.860 The whole culture resists
00:36:42.180 having a good traditional life.
00:36:44.420 You know,
00:36:44.880 the real giveaway here
00:36:47.040 that this woman's liberalism
00:36:49.500 or leftism
00:36:50.200 is a little uncertain
00:36:52.640 and is a little shaky
00:36:53.460 is if she doesn't like
00:36:56.620 what the trad wives are doing,
00:36:58.960 why doesn't she just say,
00:36:59.680 okay, you do you.
00:37:00.420 You live your life.
00:37:01.740 What does it bother me?
00:37:02.780 What does it bother you?
00:37:03.900 That's what the libs
00:37:04.320 always say to us.
00:37:04.880 What does it bother you
00:37:05.720 if a man,
00:37:06.380 if a huge dude
00:37:07.140 walks into the girl's
00:37:07.840 changing room?
00:37:08.300 What is it your problem?
00:37:09.180 What do you care?
00:37:09.920 Get out of my bedroom.
00:37:10.740 Get out of my room.
00:37:11.920 Leave me alone.
00:37:12.820 In this case,
00:37:14.980 this woman actually
00:37:15.960 is sticking her nose
00:37:17.020 into the private home
00:37:19.480 of these trad wives.
00:37:21.060 These trad wives who say,
00:37:22.060 I want to live primarily
00:37:23.800 within my home
00:37:24.700 and within the home economy.
00:37:25.580 So not in public life.
00:37:27.060 So what does it bother this woman?
00:37:28.400 It bothers her
00:37:29.300 because I think she knows
00:37:30.980 deep down
00:37:31.700 that these women
00:37:32.600 are onto something
00:37:33.840 and they have something
00:37:34.960 that she doesn't have
00:37:36.120 that she desperately wants
00:37:37.400 and she envies them,
00:37:38.920 which is a natural reaction
00:37:40.640 to have,
00:37:41.180 but then one should follow that
00:37:42.540 to its logical conclusion,
00:37:44.320 which is,
00:37:44.680 huh,
00:37:45.040 the life I'm living
00:37:46.100 isn't working out very well
00:37:47.700 and the life those people
00:37:48.920 are living
00:37:49.360 seems to be pretty nice
00:37:50.740 and rather than merely
00:37:51.900 write it off as a fantasy
00:37:53.160 and then whine for 15 minutes
00:37:54.640 on a YouTube video about it,
00:37:56.240 maybe I ought to
00:37:57.320 consider that more deeply,
00:37:58.880 try it out,
00:37:59.480 and maybe I could have
00:38:00.300 a better life too.
00:38:01.500 Literally,
00:38:02.060 the workers' share
00:38:03.020 is declining relative
00:38:04.200 to asset wealth.
00:38:05.700 People seek comfort
00:38:06.580 in images of serenity,
00:38:08.580 relaxation,
00:38:09.500 quiet,
00:38:09.800 and nourishment.
00:38:10.800 People just seek serenity.
00:38:12.540 Whether they're trad wives
00:38:13.400 or Instagram babes
00:38:14.540 is tap into that human desire
00:38:16.500 for respite
00:38:17.220 and channel it
00:38:18.100 into something else.
00:38:19.680 So for your typical
00:38:20.360 wellness influencer,
00:38:21.500 that would be
00:38:21.880 woo-flavored consumerism.
00:38:23.900 And for trad wives,
00:38:24.880 it's an ideological insistence
00:38:26.480 that if women make themselves
00:38:27.580 dependent on men,
00:38:29.200 they can find the ease
00:38:30.380 and fulfillment
00:38:31.040 they've been longing for.
00:38:33.320 Women are dependent on men
00:38:34.660 and men are dependent on women.
00:38:36.100 That's reality.
00:38:37.480 No man is an island
00:38:38.320 entire unto himself.
00:38:39.180 Emotional nourishment
00:38:40.100 and, yeah,
00:38:40.640 family life,
00:38:41.680 which isn't predicated
00:38:42.840 on the patriarchal
00:38:43.780 domination of women.
00:38:45.320 Work won't set women free,
00:38:47.440 and neither will being
00:38:48.420 ruled by men.
00:38:49.840 It's freedom,
00:38:51.120 equality,
00:38:51.840 and reciprocal care
00:38:53.080 that will.
00:38:54.120 Yes,
00:38:54.720 you have to give up
00:38:55.840 some of your
00:38:56.460 individual autonomy.
00:38:58.120 And the false promise
00:38:59.600 of liberalism
00:39:00.400 is that
00:39:01.460 you can hold on
00:39:03.220 to your individual autonomy.
00:39:04.260 You can be totally independent,
00:39:05.380 but no man
00:39:06.180 is totally independent.
00:39:07.340 We are social creatures.
00:39:09.080 You will be dependent
00:39:10.060 on a man
00:39:10.680 in some way or another.
00:39:11.780 Are you going to be dependent
00:39:12.400 on a man
00:39:12.960 that you work for
00:39:14.060 in middle management
00:39:15.340 at the widget factory
00:39:16.180 who doesn't care
00:39:16.820 at all about you
00:39:17.840 and the moment
00:39:18.240 you're not useful to him
00:39:19.080 he's going to throw you
00:39:19.640 out the door?
00:39:20.300 Or would you rather be
00:39:21.000 dependent on a man
00:39:22.020 who loves you,
00:39:23.360 who is your husband,
00:39:24.380 with whom you become
00:39:25.100 one flesh and build
00:39:25.780 a family together?
00:39:26.900 It's what everybody understood
00:39:27.920 for all of human history
00:39:28.840 when people were a lot happier
00:39:30.020 than they are right now.
00:39:31.060 Maybe we ought to consider
00:39:31.900 going back to
00:39:32.720 one of those ideas.
00:39:34.400 Maybe we ought to consider
00:39:35.280 that those old-timey people
00:39:36.440 in the past
00:39:37.040 had a little bit
00:39:38.100 of wisdom.
00:39:39.200 I'm Michael Knowles.
00:39:40.040 See you next time.
00:39:40.580 What can I do by?