The NXR Podcast - THE LIVESTREAM - Modern Women Are DONE Dating ｜ Are Men To Blame？

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00:00:26.840 women have checked out of dating are men to blame this episode is brought to you by our

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00:00:47.540 or you can make a donation today by going to right response ministries.com forward slash

00:00:54.000 donate. Again, the title of this episode is Women Are Checking Out of Dating, Are Men to Blame?

00:01:01.120 Spoiler alert, yes, but maybe not as much as women. Battle of the sexes doesn't necessarily 1.00

00:01:09.280 help us, doesn't really solve any of our problems, yet at the same time, building a house of peace 0.88

00:01:16.200 on a foundation of lies will not solve the problem either. We do need to be honest. We need

00:01:22.920 to be honest about strengths, we need to be honest about weaknesses, and we need to be honest

00:01:27.680 about who to blame, for what, and to what degree. Tune in now.

00:01:41.920 G-A, G-A, G-A. Good afternoon. G-A. We finally got some good color coordination going on.

00:01:47.460 The other live stream, it was blue, blue, black. We looked like a bruise. Now it's too blue,

00:01:52.000 nice green in the middle the fact that you even remember what we were wearing i remember because

00:01:57.960 for two and a half hours i had to look at a feed of badly matching okay all right all right okay so

00:02:03.840 we are back michael belch is still out of the studio he's traveling uh we have antonio for

00:02:08.440 those who are joining us for the first time so antonio is to my left and then we also have wesley

00:02:12.360 todd to my right uh i'm pastor joel webbin we're glad to be with you and we're gonna be i i think 0.82

00:02:17.740 right out of the gate we should uh show just an absolutely atrocious clip um from two women who

00:02:25.700 should not be giving counsel or advice to anyone um i think probably they should be locked up

00:02:31.660 um you know but uh i think we should start with a clip and this is what's the name of an antonio

00:02:36.880 this show call her daddy yeah is this the one that kamala went on i think so yeah a number of

00:02:42.620 politicians i think have been on that uh over the last well it's the most listened to podcast

00:02:47.160 by women so you break it down and like the podcast that women listen to most is this train wreck

00:02:52.740 absolute garbage okay so we're going to play a clip and then we're going to go over some uh

00:02:57.260 articles because wes you've pulled up in our preparation for this an article from the new

00:03:01.640 york times yes uh that talks about some really uh shocking and uh really sad uh statistics of

00:03:09.620 where we're at today and what we're anticipating uh in the very near future um just to kind of i

00:03:15.420 don't know prime the pump a little bit one of the statistics i think was women from 25 ages 25 to

00:03:21.300 44 that 45 percent of them would be married or i'm single having never married and childless

00:03:27.660 by 2030 that's like 20 bloomberg estimate yeah so in five years 45 almost half of women between

00:03:34.860 the ages of 25 and 44 will have never married and be childless and just for you know everybody out

00:03:41.980 there who's not you know necessarily you know a professional scientist um 44 uh you're done

00:03:48.540 in terms of having kids i mean like the ship has sailed uh you are not going to be a mother

00:03:53.440 um we're not talking 10 to 44 either 25 prime childbearing years 244 yeah so we're going to

00:03:59.940 get into that article some of the stats we've got some other things that we've pulled for the

00:04:02.960 episode but let's go ahead and start with the clip here we go and i genuinely believe for you

00:04:07.720 Lauren like I'm so happy that you lived with him I'm so happy that you went all the way to the

00:04:13.780 point of seeing yourself in a dress with a ring all of it because now we talk about this a lot

00:04:20.040 of like I can't wait to see the person that you meet next because you are a better person because

00:04:26.820 of that past relationship oh like thank god you met him and like there's things that oh my therapist

00:04:32.860 used to say every person you date gets you one step closer to the person you're supposed to marry

00:04:37.340 and like there's things that i would have no idea that i did not like and that i definitely need

00:04:44.280 yeah and that like trigger me and i feel like i just like know myself a lot more now and so

00:04:50.580 technically though think about this daddy gang if we're doing the math although maybe you would

00:04:56.600 be engaged right now and planning a wedding we have talked about like now knowing how much there

00:05:03.580 was breaking down there's a chance either one you would have been in a really pretty unfulfilling

00:05:09.200 unhappy marriage which could have ended in divorce now you're still so much closer though to just

00:05:16.140 pure happiness of finding your person and I think that should hold a lot of hope in a lot of people's

00:05:25.180 minds if you're about to end something or this episode is helping you think about re-evaluating

00:05:29.260 do you want to take that next step well yes the next step seems super straightforward and easy

00:05:36.080 if you're not a hundred percent in knowing that's the right next step you're then gonna have to take

00:05:41.360 a lot of back steps once you go forward not great incredibly hard listen you're a hero for for

00:05:50.160 finding that doing the lord's work yeah yeah so i mean just some context to that clip there so this

00:05:57.740 is the host of the Call Her Daddy podcast talking with I believe her co-host or good friend whatever

00:06:02.780 the case is about her experience in being engaged getting up to just about being married I think it

00:06:11.340 was toward the end of the engagement and then calling off the engagement and I don't know the

00:06:16.440 specific reasons but I think we can from the context gather the clues that it's something

00:06:20.760 around um uh a lack of fulfillment uh or a lack of uh you know uh self-actualization being you

00:06:31.700 know compatibility compatibility things that i need right right not just things she wants but

00:06:37.560 and so so what we hear from the clip is is the the host um saying you know i actually think that

00:06:43.540 was good for you i think you know having that experience uh being very close to being married

00:06:48.880 uh assuming this woman is uh late 20s maybe early 30s right now i'm playing the wedding and she

00:06:54.240 pauses kind of like yeah it's like almost like she realizes it's like yeah that would have been

00:06:58.940 great right but there's other things really good too yeah yeah almost and so turning it there's

00:07:04.060 this like uh turning it into a positive and saying hey no this is actually great because now you know

00:07:10.100 a little bit more about yourself and what you're looking for and so uh uh i think it's great that

00:07:15.800 this happened. And now we can tell more women about how important, uh, you know, these experiences

00:07:20.160 are that every person you date is bringing you closer and closer to, uh, your, your, uh, soul

00:07:26.780 mate. Let's put it that way. Right. And so where you'll find a hundred percent satisfaction in that

00:07:31.960 person, no red flags, um, nothing to be concerned about, no, no need for sanctification in that

00:07:36.780 person. Um, and of course celebrating this is, is it's, it's, it's tragic because you're, it is

00:07:42.920 the worst lie to tell women that you will ever find someone that is perfect. You won't, right?

00:07:49.760 You need to be 100% on them, she said. 100% confident. I wasn't even 100% sure I wanted

00:07:56.040 what I had for breakfast this morning. A little bit of like, can we improve this? Can we take

00:08:00.140 this away? But think about that with women's psychology for a moment. So you think of the 1.00

00:08:04.080 big five psychology traits. So openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness,

00:08:09.220 and neuroticism. I have a degree, it's kind of like a mix of psych and biology. But those are

00:08:14.380 the big five character traits that most people are kind of a balance of. And women by their nature 1.00

00:08:19.020 are tuned to neuroticism. And neuroticism is negative thinking. Now, it's not actually a 1.00

00:08:23.840 bad thing. So that's not saying like, look at women, they're anxious, look at them, they have

00:08:27.280 negative thoughts. Women are actually that way, I would say by God's design, because they're looking 1.00

00:08:32.020 and boarding off and protecting children. So they have a very narrow domain. But that domain 1.00

00:08:37.840 is incredibly important it's the home it's vulnerable children so when your wife you know

00:08:42.820 the kid's not eating very well not sleeping great and she's kind of up worried that's not a bad 0.87

00:08:47.880 thing praise god for the women that do that and kind of have that that mama bear instinct so to

00:08:53.060 speak but you take that neuroticism good in the home good with children she's watching out she's 1.00

00:08:58.560 careful my wife is always you know going to the grocery store and stuff and she's like look out

00:09:02.280 for this person look out but you take that and you apply that too now take that negativity and

00:09:07.080 Now, you need to parse every man you'll potentially date through that.

00:09:10.000 You need to parse every relationship, everything he said, every disagreement you had, every

00:09:15.300 maybe he felt like he blew you off.

00:09:17.140 Now, you need to take that and look at it negatively and think the worst.

00:09:22.280 You would never find someone.

00:09:24.580 You literally, you could find a fault with the perfect man. 1.00

00:09:27.360 And so these women out here are telling the biggest women's podcast, hey, you need to 1.00

00:09:31.460 be 100%. 1.00

00:09:32.220 It's literally incompatible.

00:09:34.500 Yeah. And you can get into the situation where you're the granularity of distinctions between you and the person you're dating or the person you're seeking to marry is I don't he doesn't like the same shows as me. He doesn't like he doesn't like the same kind of music as me.

00:09:50.180 And so you get this, you know, this, uh, uh, majoring on the minors sort of situation in

00:09:56.280 dating where it's like, uh, you know, I, I, I, I need to, I need to like everything that this

00:10:03.700 person likes and, uh, they need to like more importantly for, for these kinds of women, 0.99

00:10:07.820 they need to like everything that I like. And, uh, anything short of that is me compromising. 0.61

00:10:13.340 Right. Yeah. A lot of women are looking for a woman. Uh, that's part of the problem. Um,

00:10:17.840 i think you know as this gal is speaking uh it's it's funny to me the irony because it's like

00:10:24.240 um what she's wanting and what she's kind of hinting at is what's sitting underneath a blanket

00:10:29.420 on the other side of the couch from her during the podcast like that's you know and and the

00:10:34.060 reality is that that's not um men are not women and uh and a lot of women have been so you know

00:10:40.840 they have the confirmation bias and so reinforced and reassured by women uh that it's it's this

00:10:46.780 unnatural interim period that we have in modern western civilization of leaving the household 0.82

00:10:54.860 leaving your father as a caretaker as a provider as as an authority and and someone who provides

00:11:02.080 guidance and then having this prolonged period of time that now is stretched this adolescence

00:11:07.260 has been perpetuated and stretched to not just five years but 10 years 15 years i mean you're

00:11:12.480 leaving the house for a lot of these young women at 18 years old and not getting married till 30.

00:11:17.680 And as we, you know, I've already discussed and we'll see more, half of them, you know, don't even 0.85

00:11:22.560 get married at the age of 44. But let's just say they get married at 30. That's still 12 years.

00:11:28.080 So who are you with for those 12 years? Who's shaping you? Who's reinforcing you? Who's guiding

00:11:33.060 you? Not a father and not a husband because you're not married yet. So who is it? It's other women.

00:11:39.720 and so you're you're being you're being programmed by other women in what you should be looking for

00:11:46.560 and how you should be thinking and what what a man you know who actually loves you would actually

00:11:51.160 look like and what he should be like and and all these things and it's just kind of reinforcing

00:11:57.720 and and notice it's you could say the same thing about men and say like well men go through this

00:12:03.340 you know same interim period where they leave the home you know before they're getting married so

00:12:06.880 they're leaving you know that that womanly touch of their mother but they haven't yet you know

00:12:11.600 taken a wife um yeah and uh and there are challenges and things that could be said about

00:12:17.940 that but uh it is not as uh it doesn't have as negative as of an impact and one of the reasons

00:12:23.440 why is because one difference between men and women is that uh men correct each other women

00:12:29.440 do not women reinforce each other affirm each other they affirm each other even when they're 0.91

00:12:34.220 doing stupid and retarded things so so in this situation for all we know um this guy was great 0.97

00:12:41.100 now i mean he probably wasn't great because a great guy wouldn't date this woman but 0.99

00:12:45.600 you get what i'm saying relatively speaking uh this guy could have been you know at least

00:12:51.420 at least morally better a better guy than than her it would have been a step up in her case

00:12:56.900 a good hard working committed man right and but immediately what's being said so as far as we 0.98

00:13:02.480 know she ruined a good thing she actually you know she could have gotten to the finish line she could 0.99

00:13:07.200 be married or planning a wedding now soon to be married uh get to be a mother all these kinds of 1.00

00:13:11.360 things and she blew it up as far as we know she ended the relationship and what is she immediately 1.00

00:13:16.860 told by another woman by one of her female friends this is so good for you like that's what women do 0.98

00:13:24.020 is they they incessantly worry about everything so what you were saying earlier west that's that's 0.98

00:13:29.000 true and a godly woman is going to fight against you know sinful worry right to be anxious for 0.99

00:13:34.480 nothing but with prayer and supplication to make her request known to the lord but she is going to 1.00

00:13:38.940 have that sick sense of that spidey sense of you know danger um because she's wired by god in in

00:13:46.180 her in her creation uh she's wired by god to be sensitive of dangers and threats in order to to 1.00

00:13:53.020 like a mother hen brood over the nest and protect her very vulnerable children that's that is her 1.00

00:13:59.320 domain that's her role that's her place um and so on the one hand women can be you know they can 1.00

00:14:05.100 have a tendency towards worry on the other hand though um because they do tend towards worry in 1.00

00:14:11.580 terms of their self analyzing um women have it's it's like this opposite effect it's this catch 22 0.97

00:14:18.180 so a woman will worry about herself incessantly did i do the right thing but then every woman 0.99

00:14:23.660 around her will will do the exact opposite where everything no matter how stupid of a decision that 0.99

00:14:30.480 woman just made every woman around her is is just silver lining silver lining silver lining so it 0.97

00:14:36.480 whether it's um i was about to get engaged to an incredible man and uh and i made the whole thing

00:14:42.980 blow up in his face and called it off i'm so happy for you you go girl she could have also said like 0.97

00:14:48.980 i got mad at my dog and i stabbed him in the heart with a knife and killed him and i guarantee this 1.00

00:14:55.260 woman sitting on the other side of the couch would analyze and be damn but you know what that's that 1.00

00:14:59.560 shows a lot of courage and a lot of bravery and you know that that's that's what women do especially 0.84

00:15:05.160 godless un-christian non-christian women and so i think you know to have this prolonged my point is 0.99

00:15:11.340 to have this prolonged period in between childhood being underneath the headship of their father 0.95

00:15:17.540 and then marriage, headship of a husband, for that to be 12 years in many cases. That's not

00:15:24.600 even an extreme case, 18 to 30 years old, over a decade where there's no real authority being

00:15:32.200 exercised and there's no male presence that's there. And it's just female peers who are just

00:15:38.880 is blind as you are the blind leading the blind reinforcing every one of your decisions no matter 1.00

00:15:45.340 how bad it is trying to somehow tweak it and twist it to where actually that's the best decision that 0.86

00:15:51.100 anyone's ever made and i'm so proud of you and i'm so happy for you um that is a terrible terrible

00:15:58.940 concoction those are the ingredients um for disaster yeah yeah you see them reaching the

00:16:05.760 same you know the wrong conclusion by consensus right uh right which is hey uh the more people

00:16:12.720 you date the more prepared you are for marriage and it's it's like well no that's actually precisely

00:16:19.020 the opposite of what men look for in wives um uh you know what young man is out there it's like

00:16:25.540 you lived with how many men previously that many awesome you were just shaped and molded into the

00:16:31.560 perfect spouse for me yeah yeah by 10 different men that you live in their homes right most men

00:16:36.860 and they should rightfully so they hate that like you need to hear that i don't want to be insensitive

00:16:41.960 to women that have a past before christ but practically speaking that advice like oh you

00:16:46.680 slept around and you lived cohabitated and you got close to divorce men hear that and they just think

00:16:52.440 of other men she's dated and been with she's less has less value practically honestly naturally

00:16:58.980 speaking, obviously as Christians there's an element of faith there, but practically speaking 0.92

00:17:02.920 if we're thinking about the institution of marriage, she's not elevating, not like her

00:17:06.740 co-host said, going through these experiences and learning more. She's decreasing her value

00:17:11.420 and even practically a big one is age. One of the saddest things, and Christian men do 1.00

00:17:16.180 this too, and if you're doing it, it's wrong, is they'll play in the middle ground for two 1.00

00:17:20.580 years. So they'll start dating a woman and they'll have fun, right? They'll go to Disneyland,

00:17:25.020 they'll go out to dinner but he'll never really commit to marrying her and so she's there and

00:17:29.800 she's 20 she's 25 she's 27 and she's she's like i want to have children i want to have a home i

00:17:36.320 really like you and she's asking him to commit so she's like are you going to propose you're

00:17:40.520 going to do this and he's always throwing up excuses well with my job and career or i just

00:17:45.440 really want to make sure men take this narrative i really want to make sure that she's the one

00:17:49.080 and i've known these women they'll go through a three-year relationship and at the very end of it

00:17:53.880 He goes, ah, I'm sorry.

00:17:55.060 I'm not ready to commit.

00:17:55.920 And she has to call it off.

00:17:57.400 But at that point, you have three years, two years, three years, four years, sunk into

00:18:02.600 a relationship.

00:18:03.200 And even if you weren't immoral, so say you weren't even immoral at all, practically speaking,

00:18:07.600 you just lost three years of your life as far as building a family, building a home,

00:18:11.880 having children.

00:18:12.740 That is a terrible, unloving thing to do to a sister in Christ.

00:18:17.120 If you're dating, the intention of it is it's not to hang out.

00:18:20.340 It's to aim towards marriage.

00:18:21.680 and none of that means it has to happen in two months but it certainly needs to happen at least

00:18:25.800 a commitment before two years because otherwise you are burning people's youth right yep you're

00:18:30.800 you're burning time and and it's precious uh for all of us because life is a fleeting vapor right

00:18:38.720 it's like the dew of the grass it's here today and gone by afternoon and so uh yeah so you know

00:18:44.980 momentum more, like remembering our death, that we must die. And so recognizing that we're finite,

00:18:53.000 recognizing that our lives are relatively short, that's true of both men and women, 0.97

00:18:56.740 but especially true, I think is what you're saying, Wes, in the case of women,

00:19:00.400 because when it comes to their strength and fertility, especially with childbearing and

00:19:04.700 these kinds of things, it is a very, very small window of life. And even not just childbearing,

00:19:12.740 but even child rearing uh my wife and i we talk about this all the time you know we're right in

00:19:17.320 the thick of it with five children you know all the way from seven to seven months and uh and so

00:19:23.720 we have five young children and uh and i'm constantly you know reminding her and she agrees

00:19:29.440 you know but uh reminding her that uh in the whole scheme of things in our lives it'll be like

00:19:35.200 between you know the oldest child to the youngest child um it'll probably be about 25 years you know

00:19:42.600 give or take that window of life. And if we each live to be 85 years old, even if we're 75,

00:19:47.660 it's only a third of your life having children in the home. And it's like one of the most precious

00:19:53.580 moments, seasons of life to have children in your home. And it's not like the vast majority of your

00:20:01.920 life. It's not even half of your life. It's a third at best of our already fleeting short lives.

00:20:09.200 and uh and so to postpone that um and and to put that on the back burner is absolutely um

00:20:17.280 foolish but but you're right uh the the idea of like well you're one step closer

00:20:21.800 statistically speaking um with each man that a woman dates she's one step further um she's one 0.97

00:20:29.700 step further in terms of her past uh and things that uh that men are that's not going to be viewed

00:20:35.820 as a virtue it's not going to be viewed as a positive but then also uh she's just she's just 0.91

00:20:40.460 now a little bit older um and so you just you know she's she's going to be less desirable at 30 0.86

00:20:47.500 um than she is at 23 yeah and uh and that's that's just the facts and biologically it's kind

00:20:55.700 of an uncomfortable fact but it's true the earlier a woman has children the easier that labor and

00:21:00.240 that pregnancy and her subsequent ones are and sometimes i'll lovingly challenge christian men

00:21:04.600 that have been married like two, three years, like even practically speaking there, like, well,

00:21:08.280 we're already married. We're living together. We're building a home. Yeah. But even as far as

00:21:13.480 children, God has put in biological reasons that a couple should come together. If you do nothing

00:21:17.980 to the process, you'll have children. And that in itself is it's easier. It's healthier. There's

00:21:23.000 less wear and tear on the body. So even practically God's built into nature, the order of it should be

00:21:28.360 to marry and ideally marry young, early twenties would be a great time. And then to bear children.

00:21:33.440 and that will make what happens later on all that more easier too that's not a mistake yeah and so 1.00

00:21:38.780 so like we think about what we're seeing societally is is a lack of commitment uh from women uh due to

00:21:46.760 hypergamy right wanting to find a mate who's you know to the up you know out and up from them right

00:21:54.180 so higher status male and we we there's that's well researched at this point that that's what 1.00

00:21:59.180 women want. And then on the, on the side of men, uh, what you see is also a lack of commitment

00:22:06.200 actually, but it's precisely because there's no forcing function for men to actually want to

00:22:10.560 enter into marriage, particularly for the high status men, because you can get, uh, sex outside

00:22:15.960 of marriage there. And so it's, it's there, there's nothing that tells a man, Hey, I ought to

00:22:21.640 commit to this woman, um, to get something that naturally I, I, I really want. Um, and so men,

00:22:28.420 for that reason aren't pressured into marriage uh you know socially and then women also because

00:22:35.320 you have this massive pool and you have dating apps and i mean it feels like they're you know

00:22:40.180 one's going defunct and another one's popping up in its place and so you have this massive

00:22:44.500 massive pool where women can say hey i'm in uh central texas i could date a man uh from dallas

00:22:50.600 or date a man from uh from houston and uh those men are available to me uh through the internet

00:22:56.360 And so why would I settle for this man that I know from high school?

00:23:00.700 That hypergamy point, it has to be parsed out.

00:23:03.340 When you look at dating apps, so they've triangulated who do women swipe right on.

00:23:07.460 That is, say, they would like to know more about who do men swipe right on. 0.86

00:23:11.140 80% of women, all of their 80% of your swipes, 80% of the attention, it's going to the top 0.98

00:23:17.080 20% of men.

00:23:18.160 So they're looking at men, like you said, Antonio, they make a lot of money. 0.51

00:23:21.280 And the thing about men, so women's fertility goes down over time.

00:23:24.360 a man's status honestly it gets better over time he's more successful if he's a good man

00:23:29.700 he's more successful in his career he has less of the youthful undisciplined whatever you want

00:23:35.640 to call it he's more disciplined typically he's going to be in better shape in his 30s than in

00:23:40.120 his early 20s so he's making more money he looks better he's more mature he has more gravitas

00:23:45.600 because that's what women are looking for women are practically vulnerable completely vulnerable

00:23:49.760 for nine months when they're pregnant so they need a man that's strong they need a man that

00:23:53.500 can provide they can man that can protect them and look after them when they first have the child 0.98

00:23:57.800 so women are looking for status but all of that status and when we do this like you said with 0.99

00:24:02.800 dating apps when we do it with when you stack people at just astronomical density into city 1.00

00:24:08.860 what you do is you say uh all right women you are biologically programmed to seek out high status 1.00

00:24:14.040 males and those 80 what they're doing is they're chasing the top echelon right and the bottom 80

00:24:19.680 percent of men we'll talk about this later on they're having to settle for the remaining 20 0.86

00:24:23.460 and practically speaking there's just not enough to go around and so it creates resentment women

00:24:29.140 are frustrated because those high value men are not committing to them they're like i'll give you

00:24:33.440 sex on the first date he's like yeah but i can get that from a lot of women and then there's a

00:24:38.060 bunch of men that like these women won't even give me a second look right and they both begin

00:24:42.080 to hate each other yeah that is definitely happening i i like what you said i don't like

00:24:47.360 it but it's important what you said um in terms of yeah a man's value if he's a good man and he's a

00:24:53.600 hard-working man he's reasonably gifted and intelligent you know certainly if he's a christian

00:24:58.720 man and a moral man um his value is actually increasing over time whereas the woman's value 0.96

00:25:05.200 is decreasing she has this clicking clock you know this ticking talk um it's you know the time 0.99

00:25:11.480 is like the hourglass the sand is running thin and just for you know all the christians who are

00:25:16.620 listening, when I say that her value is going down, I'm not speaking of the eternal, ultimate

00:25:21.500 spiritual sense. I'm not saying her value in the sight of God. I'm not saying her eternal value in

00:25:26.260 the weight of her soul. But I'm saying for the purpose of marriage, the conversation that we're

00:25:31.000 having at hand, for the purpose of marriage, the 40-year-old single woman is less desirable than 0.94

00:25:39.100 the 20-year-old single woman, in part because of her life, her fertility, her strength, her beauty.

00:25:46.620 all of those things, but then also because if she's 40 years old and single and having never

00:25:54.180 married, that also says something. It's like the single mom. There are some single moms who are

00:26:01.600 wonderful and Christian and love the Lord, but there is an immediate red flag, and the red flag

00:26:06.780 is what happened to the last guy? Why are you single? Did you have the children out of wedlock,

00:26:12.180 or did your husband run out on you and if he did run out on you is it because you're insufferable

00:26:18.080 you know like there's there naturally are those questions and it's not just that that's

00:26:22.340 natural um but i think it's even wise you know i i've counseled christian men who are considering

00:26:28.360 marrying a single mother and um and that's part of the counsel that i give i don't say that they

00:26:34.340 shouldn't in an objective sense um across the board but but i do say well let's let's sit for

00:26:41.520 a moment. Let's think. Let's pray. I'm going to go talk to her. Let's find out why she's a single

00:26:47.540 mother. And then if it's because of sin, let's find out, is there genuine repentance? And who 0.96

00:26:56.620 can vouch for her? Who can say, I've seen her. She's not the same woman that she once was. She's

00:27:02.080 changed. It's been X many years, these two years or three years. She's been faithfully going to

00:27:07.400 church. She's repented of being a raging feminist, you know, that drove her past husband away or 1.00

00:27:14.780 this, that, and the other. But these are things that have to be considered. So if a woman is older

00:27:19.000 for the purpose of marriage, she is less desirable. If she is a single mother, again, for a man who is 0.98

00:27:27.900 looking at her as a potential suitor, she is less desirable. And those are not things that are,

00:27:35.200 just for the record that's not immoral it's not oh well men are pigs uh that's that's so uh that's 0.93

00:27:41.460 so vain no the bible says rejoice in the wife of your youth always the bible actually assumes 0.96

00:27:48.480 and esteems um marrying a young graceful doe marrying a woman who is in the prime of her youth

00:27:58.500 that is filled with life and fertility, who is beautiful. The Bible glorifies this. The Bible

00:28:10.620 doesn't say, that's vain. Every godly man, if he was really godly, he should be shopping for 300

00:28:16.720 pound, you know, 40 year old single moms. That is not a biblical teaching. And there's a lot of 1.00

00:28:22.960 pietistic Christians who want to kind of act like it is, you know, that basically, well, if you were 0.97

00:28:27.120 more godly then you'd go marry that hag no that's that's not what the bible teaches it is perfectly 0.91

00:28:33.660 permissible and not only permissible but i think even right rightly directed uh that a godly man 0.99

00:28:40.580 in his godliness not not not away from his godliness but through his godliness would be

00:28:46.480 seeking a young beautiful non-feminist submissive joyful wife that free virgin with without tattoo

00:28:57.560 Yeah, those would be good qualities to look for.

00:28:59.880 We talked about it in an episode a couple months ago.

00:29:02.320 The glory of young men is their strength.

00:29:04.120 Both men and women in their youth have strength for men and beauty for women.

00:29:07.520 And the goal of both of them is to exhaust physical beauty, physical strength,

00:29:11.360 but for the spiritual qualities of the spiritual beauty

00:29:14.120 and of spiritual strength to take place later in life.

00:29:16.780 A man will not be able to maintain a 400-pound bench into his 80s. 0.71

00:29:21.420 And a woman will not be a magazine model into her 80s. 0.96

00:29:24.560 Both of them are fleeting and both of them will go away.

00:29:26.640 But for the Christian, they take those qualities, beauty and youth and vigor, and they transform it into children and a beautiful home and a happy husband.

00:29:35.880 The husband takes his strength and he builds a home.

00:29:38.760 Now, both of those physical ones go away, but they're replaced by the virtue.

00:29:42.960 And so when you talk about youth, like, guys, this is how God made the world.

00:29:47.360 Practically, like men can sire children into their 70s.

00:29:50.460 Women can bear them till about 45. 0.87

00:29:52.560 That's how God made the world. 1.00

00:29:53.740 He chose to do that.

00:29:54.940 that's his design design you don't get to be mad at it you can be mad at well you can be mad at us

00:30:01.580 for pointing that out but practically all we're doing is pointing out this is how god has arranged

00:30:06.020 men and women made them differently yeah how to function yeah and what you what you see falling

00:30:11.400 apart is this idea of uh i mean it's fault it's falling apart by now actually but uh there's this

00:30:17.520 idea of like marriage as an investment on you know a mutual investment on both parts right

00:30:24.680 especially in your youth right a man marries a woman at let's assume they get married at 21 20

00:30:30.900 he marries a woman at her peak as it relates to her physical beauty she actually marries him sort

00:30:38.900 of at at the start right of his potential right and so he's investing in her saying hey you actually

00:30:45.420 are incredibly valuable right now as it relates to your physical beauty and over time that will

00:30:51.040 actually diminish but i'm investing in your roles you know but your spiritual growth your role as a

00:30:56.820 mother and your ability to bear us children and the woman is actually making the investment in

00:31:02.680 the man in terms of his future financial output right his uh ability to protect uh as he learns

00:31:10.080 what it is to be a man you think about you where you were at 20 years old there's so many things

00:31:14.640 you don't know how do you govern a household how do you provide for your family how do you plan

00:31:19.740 financially in the long term. And all of these things, a man at 20 years old, as he enters into

00:31:25.200 marriage, doesn't have figured out. And the woman is saying, despite those things, I'm investing in

00:31:29.260 you and together we'll grow and make something that collectively we benefit from. And now it's

00:31:36.000 the opposite, right? Now it's actually, let me realize my full potential now. Let me actualize

00:31:43.080 that and reap the benefits myself. And then once I've reaped the benefits, a man living single, 0.94

00:31:49.020 working until he's 30 and making, living as a bachelor, making a lot of money, having a great

00:31:53.580 life, traveling all over the world, women doing the same thing, focusing on her career. Oh, now 0.87

00:31:58.400 I've, I've expended all the potential of my twenties and I've reaped the benefits myself.

00:32:03.640 Now let's go find a partner. That's right. Let's go to our first commercial break. We'll be back

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00:34:45.560 Well, welcome back.

00:34:47.840 The reason we pulled that clip out, that's not necessarily from just this past week,

00:34:52.080 was there was a New York Times article titled,

00:34:54.560 Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back.

00:34:57.140 And if we could get anything across in this second segment,

00:34:59.560 it's to recognize that the gap in the dating market, it's not improving.

00:35:03.200 We already discussed, hey, you're going out there, you're trying to date,

00:35:06.160 you're trying to find a good godly woman.

00:35:08.280 You are facing a much greater battle, a much more difficult climb than your grandfather is.

00:35:13.280 Your grandfather lived in a town that had socials, that had events, that had reasons

00:35:18.340 to mingle together.

00:35:19.520 They probably met someone very early on in their 20s.

00:35:21.960 Many men, they're like, I'm 30.

00:35:23.900 Am I dating option?

00:35:25.020 It's kind of older than that.

00:35:26.720 So we've kind of already established that.

00:35:28.280 And the point is, it's not getting better. 1.00

00:35:29.900 And even women, they're really coming to realize, holy cow, we drove men out of the 0.99

00:35:35.500 market. 0.98

00:35:35.880 We set the standards too high.

00:35:37.420 And they actually left.

00:35:38.800 We took it for granted.

00:35:39.760 There would always be a Chris Hemsworth around every corner, a Chris Evans in the waiting

00:35:43.260 it turns out they're not. And men are actually, men are, they do better with being single and

00:35:49.840 alone than women do, to be honest. Like practically women struggle much more with that. They're

00:35:54.900 innately designed to companionship, to a home and to children. Men, obviously they're, a good man

00:36:01.680 is oriented towards that as well. But there's a lot of men that are, they just have a lot of

00:36:05.700 solitude and they like to think and they like to build and they like to study. And so it's women 0.99

00:36:10.760 especially suffering and to illustrate it let me just read this quote here from the new york times

00:36:15.720 and it's again the article is called men where have you gone please come back and this is a woman

00:36:20.440 who's 54 years old and she's divorced and she says this it's not about blaming men it's about

00:36:25.640 noticing the imbalance about grieving what's not beating us and about refusing to dress it up

00:36:31.000 as personal failure when it's actually a collective reality so here's what i'll say

00:36:35.880 You are missed, not just by me, but by the world you once helped shape. 1.00

00:36:40.820 This woman is a radical feminist. 0.58

00:36:43.640 And even she.

00:36:44.480 And even she is saying, I'm trying to find a man to date.

00:36:48.840 I'm trying to find a man to build a life with.

00:36:51.260 And you're gone.

00:36:52.100 She observes that.

00:36:52.840 She goes to dinner and is like, there's only about one or two other couples here. 0.73

00:36:56.560 It's women with their girlfriends.

00:36:58.160 It's guys out for happy hour.

00:37:00.220 And it's about two couples left that are actually men and women trying to make something work.

00:37:04.760 let me transition a little bit to the statistics side of things over half of single women said

00:37:12.620 they believe that they were happier than their married counterparts so single women are like

00:37:17.100 i'm happier in a 2024 study of 5800 adults just over a third of surveyed single men said the same

00:37:24.300 so at least in this study you have men saying like we're not doing as hot compared to single women

00:37:28.880 A 2022 Pew survey of single adults showed only 34% of married women, of single women, were looking for romance, compared with 54% of single men, down from 38% and 61% in 2019.

00:37:44.000 So even less women than six years ago, or five years ago, it was actually three years, 2022 to 2019, women are seeking a relationship less.

00:37:53.160 so 34 of single women were looking for romance uh in what in 2022 in 2022 but it previously had

00:38:02.260 been 38 in 2019 so down one percent it was in 2019 had previously been 61 and then it dropped

00:38:09.880 to 54 in 2022 and listen to this this is this is a sad statistic men were also more likely than

00:38:16.400 women to say that they were worried that nobody would want to date them you have here this is uh

00:38:22.700 A record high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married.

00:38:26.860 As of 2021, 25% of 4-year-olds, 25% have never been married.

00:38:33.980 So this is not your divorcees are not included in this.

00:38:36.720 This was a significant increase from 20% in 2010.

00:38:41.460 So in 11 years, 5% more 40-year-olds would count as having never been married,

00:38:47.460 according to new Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data.

00:38:50.880 we already touched on it a lot of factors contributing that hoflation's one of them

00:38:55.980 it's off the charts it's bad yeah but one final one we we addressed it in the cold open but 1.00

00:39:01.800 back in this was 20 2019 morgan stanley 45 percent of women to be single and childless

00:39:10.260 by 2030 now again that's ages 25 to 44 yeah this is we're not just talking about 18 year olds 25

00:39:18.080 to 44 year old women 45 of that almost half of the women who are 25 to 44 years old will have

00:39:25.960 never been married and have no children and then that's in terms of biologically speaking that is

00:39:32.400 past the point of them being able to ever have children right practically speaking so you have

00:39:38.200 a fertility crisis we talked about this a couple weeks ago people are not having children people

00:39:42.140 are not getting married specifically women less women are seeking to be married this is what a

00:39:47.600 culture in suicide looks like yeah a culture unwilling to love unwilling to risk there's one

00:39:52.560 final piece that i want to pull up here and this is interesting this is from a local uh ask men

00:39:56.920 advice this is on reddit so a cesspool of libs so take it with a grain of salt but listen to this

00:40:01.700 this is interesting the the topic the post the title is why do you think men are not attending

00:40:06.140 dating events in my area the poster said so i'm curious to get your take on this i've been

00:40:10.900 following and sometimes attending some very cool well organized and earnest in-person dating events

00:40:15.640 in my area they seem to have a common problem the women's tickets will quickly sell out and there

00:40:20.380 will be a hundred women on the waiting list but they can't sell all of the men's tickets so what's

00:40:24.860 going on here seems to be more of a problem with the 40 plus age group but only by a little are men

00:40:29.380 not on social media so they don't know about them are men more disillusioned what gives

00:40:34.240 you have men too they're just and I spoke about I said uh like they're not willing to pursue love

00:40:42.040 take a risk dating events like this there's a really good post that we were reading earlier

00:40:46.060 it's it's it's the antithesis to how men typically pursue achievement well you come in and you sign

00:40:54.140 your name tag and you get your little name tag written down and you have three minutes it's all

00:40:58.440 structured it's very actually feminine right it's organized it's structured it's well managed it's

00:41:03.700 it's designed to be non-offensive you just privately say like oh i don't want to match with

00:41:07.320 this person or i don't want to match with this person and what we have done is we have crushed 0.97

00:41:11.320 the soul of a people the soul of a people their desire to build a society to find a woman to build

00:41:17.760 a home like practically speaking even just going to housing like how many men are like oh the dream

00:41:22.540 let me tell you what 700 square foot condo and in downtown denver all you can eat door dash around 0.83

00:41:29.100 me and a gal to share it with nobody fights for that they work dead-end jobs have terrible housing 1.00

00:41:36.040 options. In a world where inflation has destroyed your income potential, the women are all practically 1.00

00:41:41.860 prostitutes. Yeah, that's a society with no life and vigor and energy. Yeah, somebody in the comments 1.00

00:41:48.100 had a good point. Sparty Buck, he said, it's the dispensational boomers that have told their kids

00:41:55.320 to wait to marry. That is absolutely true. Obviously, it's not every boomer, but it is true 1.00

00:42:02.460 that boomers are really one of the first generations in american history that in mass

00:42:08.960 gave the strong counsel for their children not to get married you know too soon what what they

00:42:18.200 perceived as being too soon i've heard a lot of people in their 60s and 70s who said you know who

00:42:26.800 just in passing they'll say it still even like with no recognition that that was not necessarily

00:42:31.520 good thing they'll say it as a point of pride you know we really encouraged our daughter we

00:42:35.460 really encouraged our son you know not to get not to settle down too quickly not to get married you

00:42:40.580 know uh right out of right out of college you know but to wait until he's 30 you know or something

00:42:45.380 like that yeah and if they do get married wait a couple years to settle down and have kids go

00:42:49.880 travel yeah and that's pretty consistent i think with like the if you think about the the themes

00:42:57.660 of the boomer generation one of the main ones was actually consumerism in the commodity you know

00:43:03.760 the commodification of things and i think uh you know what we what we saw in the boomer generation

00:43:08.880 this definitely spilled over into gen x as well is well i had to sit in a marriage that wasn't

00:43:16.440 perfect there was a shinier woman there was a a shinier set of circumstances that were available

00:43:22.820 to me but i had to settle and i don't want that for my children i don't want them to have to

00:43:27.580 settle. And so my advice to them is, Hey, find the perfect person and don't be like me who had to

00:43:33.220 sit in this unhappy marriage. Um, which the point that I'm making there is that

00:43:38.300 this, this indicates that the concept of marriage actually has fallen, had fallen, uh, apart long

00:43:45.480 before 2020, long before 2018 and 19. And some of these statistics we're looking at, um, this is,

00:43:51.760 this is a downstream consequence of an improper view of marriage that existed in America in the

00:43:56.960 60s and in the west in the 70s and um and uh and and really it goes back to some of the same things

00:44:03.000 themes that we were looking at and we're hearing in the caller daddy video which is um there's

00:44:08.860 there's someone that's perfect for you in the same way that there's a nicer car and there's a nicer

00:44:14.420 home that you could live in boomer there's there was a woman that was better for you as well 0.51

00:44:18.740 and you hear that a lot from boomers as they they talk about their marriages still

00:44:22.660 i mean i'm familiar personally with several marriages where you know people would say

00:44:27.780 yeah um it it is what it is this is this is my marriage um wasn't wasn't the happiest life that

00:44:34.740 i could have had um but but that's what i had and how much did tv and social media just expose

00:44:40.720 people to maybe i don't want to say other options but just make them jealous like a sight envy

00:44:47.620 precisely so if you're a young man and and let's say i don't even know like the baby weight it's

00:44:52.720 not coming off your wife is not as attractive as she was well if you're on instagram or you're on

00:44:56.780 x then you're exposed to a litany even if you don't follow those pages and you're carefully

00:45:01.560 curated you guard your eyes you're still practically going to see a couple dozen women a day that are

00:45:07.380 young and attractive and practically speaking it would be very hard not to and with the boomers 0.71

00:45:12.860 you could say with TV and it was with all the television and shows and media by commercializing 0.58

00:45:18.960 everything and using like sex sells attractive people like that's who you want in your branding 0.56

00:45:23.480 by doing so you kind of broadcasted to at least two generations at this point like oh your spouse

00:45:29.520 is not that great but don't worry there's hotter people just around the corner and man that kind

00:45:34.380 of sucks that you're stuck with x and y and z same thing with a house same thing with a car

00:45:38.640 like you need to be living this type of life and you need to be doing that and uh and then 0.97

00:45:42.800 comparison the thief of joy and uh and so then they had a bad marriage because they always sit

00:45:47.780 there and like man my husband is 100 pounds overweight and makes nothing at his job and i'm

00:45:53.900 stuck with him and i see i see my facebook friend from high school i see their marriage and they're

00:45:58.480 doing great i see here him and her and this and uh to your point i think that robbed a lot of joy

00:46:04.280 out of marriages and they pass that down they're like no no no son you wait you find a great woman

00:46:09.440 and now we we see the end of it right is men saying okay i'll wait i'll wait i'll wait you

00:46:15.620 know how many times you show up at the pickup basketball court and you don't get picked before

00:46:19.600 you just say i'm not gonna go anymore right i'm just standing on the sidelines um and i think

00:46:24.900 that's that's the end of of this kind of uh rhetoric and an approach to dating and marriage

00:46:30.100 right uh back to that reddit uh comment which reddit is as we all know um reddit is just the

00:46:38.660 the seedbed of the worst people alive in all the world uh it's funny how a left-wing space like

00:46:47.200 reddit is one of the most heavily moderated sites in the internet and x and twitter is very much so

00:46:52.640 not too heavily moderated still to some degree and it is a very right-wing site funny how that

00:46:57.680 works isn't it yep yep the one that's moderated is leftist um yeah so the comment that was that

00:47:04.180 we read just previously on uh reddit uh said like you know i'm going to all these singles events and

00:47:10.260 the the problem is you know women will sign up and there'll be you know 100 women on a waiting

00:47:14.800 list you know but the men don't come and you know i was just thinking about like you know even with

00:47:19.900 our conference that we held you know a couple months ago we did a singles mixer and um that

00:47:24.900 is not the problem that we have in fact we we have to do the opposite so you know with our

00:47:29.460 singles mixer we charge the men fifty dollars because we'll have uh we even with charging

00:47:34.660 fifty dollars we have way too many and we uh we charge the women one dollar um because we know

00:47:41.760 that in right-wing spaces both politically and religiously across the board uh in every single 0.90

00:47:49.340 element of society in right-wing spaces whether it's the church or whether it's a conference

00:47:54.700 or whether it's a political rally um the men are there the women are not and so my point is

00:48:01.300 if you take our experience with our conference uh we had to turn away uh lots of men and charge

00:48:07.800 them fifty dollars to try to weed out some um and then basically you know like barely got enough

00:48:14.980 women um at one dollar instead of fifty dollars to sign up and then you compare that with this

00:48:20.280 reddit comment which is a left-wing you know social media site and they're saying you know

00:48:24.080 i'm going to these dating events and it's all women and no men we have a a singles mixer and

00:48:29.720 it's all men and it's hard to get women and so my point is i think there are still men and women

00:48:34.940 out there right i mean the statistics haven't changed much it's still roughly 50 50 50 percent 0.56

00:48:40.200 men 50 percent women and um we don't have polygamy in the country you know so it's not like 1.00

00:48:45.920 you know like if if with all the muslims here you think that's not happening yeah it's well maybe 0.98

00:48:50.520 it's it's not happened yet um so it's not as though you know that like one man has three wives 0.87

00:48:55.500 so you know if there's roughly the same you know similar amount of women as there are men

00:49:00.940 50 you know it's like 51 49 um and each person can only marry one spouse of the opposite sex

00:49:09.380 then you should have roughly the same number of single men as you have women and so what i'm what

00:49:15.660 i'm saying is that there are single men and there are single women and they're showing up to find a

00:49:21.700 spouse but in two different places the women are showing up in leftist spaces and yes i'm talking

00:49:29.500 about uh your reddit dating event and the gospel coalition conference i'm talking about both the

00:49:36.600 men are showing up in right-wing spaces and i i just i want to be truthful here um that uh that

00:49:43.140 includes new christian conference and right response conference but in on the whole the lion

00:49:50.220 share uh that includes um a lot of catholic and eastern orthodox churches like where can i find

00:49:56.880 if a woman's asking but where where can i find um a good uh high caliber productive ambitious

00:50:05.940 virtuous young man um well you're probably actually not going to find him at uh at your

00:50:14.580 reddit event um but you will find him at the catholic church you will find him at that eastern

00:50:22.020 orthodox church and you will find him at some of the few um right-wing coded um truly conservative

00:50:30.360 masculine protestant events like our conference um our we do not have that problem there's just

00:50:37.060 too many women and not enough men even just compare the opposite problem very well managed

00:50:41.240 the reddit one managed timed perfectly marketed the men's conference we at the end literally did

00:50:47.480 like a lifting competition people are throwing up on the field dying as they try to run a mile

00:50:51.760 so it's the men's one it's masculine it's not perfectly planned out and curated like again

00:50:57.840 that speaks to the dynamic men demand hierarchy men demand competition men demand status men want

00:51:03.980 to make something of themselves women want things to be safe and perfect and organized and fair

00:51:09.580 yeah fair equal equality yeah so i if if you're a woman who's listening to this which there aren't

00:51:15.900 that many i think we're like 87 you know male listenership but if you're a woman who's listening

00:51:21.960 to this and you want to get married and you want to marry a high caliber virtuous man then you're

00:51:29.500 going to need to go to right-wing spaces because that's where young single men are young single

00:51:36.980 men are abandoning the left you can see you know we've talked about this in previous episodes and

00:51:41.980 shown the graphs and statistics of men are abandoning the in mass young single men abandoning

00:51:48.620 the democrat party abandoning um all the tenets of leftism and liberalism and these kinds of things

00:51:54.460 and they are becoming uh right wing because they realize that leftism sold them a bill of goods

00:51:59.680 and ultimately hates them and uh and has no future no opportunity and nothing for them

00:52:05.060 and so if you're a woman who's trying to get married um you need to follow the men you need

00:52:12.320 to follow especially the men who are it's it's worth following them one because that's where

00:52:16.760 you'll find a spouse, but two, because they're right and you're wrong. They're right and you're

00:52:21.960 wrong. The men are actually adopting views that are more aligned with scripture. And women,

00:52:34.420 young single women, in large part, still haven't. They still haven't. And you can see the divide.

00:52:40.660 it you know you can track all the way back from like you know the last 50 years of the voting

00:52:46.020 patterns of men and women um and and single men and women and they usually kind of follow each

00:52:52.840 other and there was a time where like men were uh more liberal um and then you know it kind of

00:52:58.920 shifts and now it's like you see the two lines of single men and single women and the men one is

00:53:04.680 just trending up towards being more right wing and the woman one and it's actually uh right now

00:53:10.580 currently in the last 50 years we have the widest gap politically so this is just politics but it

00:53:16.380 translates i think to culture religion these things as well you have the widest gap between

00:53:20.540 single men and single women in terms of their political views the widest gap um in 50 years

00:53:27.960 here in america and then other nations uh they're like south korea it's actually even more

00:53:32.720 extreme the gap is massive between young korean single men being right wing and young korean

00:53:40.860 single women being left coated and so i think that's a big part of the problem it's not just

00:53:46.360 that the men aren't showing up i think part of the question that you have to raise with that

00:53:50.720 is showing up where there are still single men and they are still showing up somewhere

00:53:55.780 but they're no longer showing up at your your lib fest that's that's not where they are they're

00:54:02.160 waking up they're not showing up to the liberal uh dating event because they're waking up uh to

00:54:07.820 to reality and and to god's truth and uh and i think um if if women find that icky

00:54:16.240 um then women will die alone so um all right that's the that is the framing if men and women

00:54:25.660 don't figure it out scores of them half of them they will die alone our fertility crisis will

00:54:31.740 we'll reach the point where our population will decline you'll struggle to staff well we'll be

00:54:36.400 replaced by robots but right struggle to staff a lot of enterprises because people haven't had

00:54:40.740 children to fill it you literally witness the death of a civilization from its arts from its

00:54:45.060 culture from its creativity even its military and its will to live and i don't think practically 0.99

00:54:50.380 i don't think you get there uh without a large-scale exodus of women from the workforce 0.98

00:54:55.900 it's probably not going to be organic organically women aren't just going to wake up and decide

00:55:00.680 en masse 80 of us we're going back to our home even if we have to downsize i'm going to go back 0.95

00:55:05.700 i'm going to take care of it i'm going to care for my husband i'm going to care for my children

00:55:08.720 i'm going to pull them out of out of daycare i'll be honest guys i don't practically see organically

00:55:12.800 how that happens but i don't think without that happening uh that the relationship gets better

00:55:17.340 at all yeah any thoughts yeah i mean and just on that point like uh from what i understand from

00:55:25.100 i think even republican tax tax bills have done this is subsidizing uh daycare and so you talk

00:55:32.680 about economic incentives it's like uh that that those kinds of things work in the opposite 1.00

00:55:38.780 direction they make it make sense for women to be in the workforce because daycare isn't all that

00:55:44.500 expensive right and so um like when you talk about policies and different things like that that have

00:55:50.100 brought women into the workforce um to everyone's detriment uh it's it's things like that that we

00:55:55.520 can look at and say oh that was in the uh you know the 2017 you know tax cuts and jobs act and uh

00:56:01.820 and republicans support that so uh that i think waking up to some of those very particular policies

00:56:08.020 that have been put in place even recently uh will be important um to to draw back if you can

00:56:15.200 legislate it one way though the encouraging thing is you could legislate it the other way so if you

00:56:19.020 legislated lots of daycare lots of perks lots of family leave turns out by taking those away

00:56:23.580 people say hey i can't afford daycare like literally there comes a certain point i saw

00:56:27.580 someone she said uh pay six thousand dollars a month for daycare in seattle wow like if you're

00:56:31.720 making eight thousand dollars a month at a certain point it literally is just i literally could just

00:56:35.580 stay home and free daycare imagine that right unless it's subsidized by the federal government

00:56:40.320 and then and then you know really the confounding variable is when men are being left behind not

00:56:45.920 only uh you know culturally which is absolutely true but also economically right women are more

00:56:51.740 likely to graduate college more likely to achieve a master's degree and a phd now than than men are 1.00

00:56:57.940 so even at the higher income you know tax brackets women are are increasingly filling those um and so 1.00

00:57:05.700 even you think about like daycare subsidies you know subsidizing daycare like a practical

00:57:11.260 consequence of taking that away could actually be men are staying home because they're actually

00:57:15.860 the lesser owners. I should say, they make less income than their wives. And so there's all sorts 0.80

00:57:26.580 of things where we've really gotten ourselves in a pinch here in the West on this front.

00:57:32.040 Yep. Duke Mysterian, he said, I think he's right. And I've mentioned this before,

00:57:38.200 but I want to mention it again. He said, women conform to whoever is in power, 1.00

00:57:42.120 not to christian alphas and he's right um women for women uh consensus matters uh women are

00:57:50.300 uh i think much more um conformed and vulnerable influenceable um to uh the you know consensus of

00:57:59.680 society as a whole but what will people think right what will uh is this popular what will

00:58:05.580 the majority say and uh the majority for women um in many ways sets the authority um especially

00:58:13.520 in our context which is a democracy which i despise but um but that's where we're at and so

00:58:19.720 my point is this um men tend to have for better or for worse you know the the the you know double

00:58:26.120 sided coin right it's a two-edged sword so on the one side it's um ambition it's uh it's zeal it's

00:58:33.380 it's having a risk threshold, you know, risk tolerance, those kinds of things that lend

00:58:40.680 towards entrepreneurship, that lends towards courage and leadership and these kinds of things.

00:58:44.980 On the flip side, we could call it rebellion. I think men have a higher tendency to rebel against

00:58:52.160 authority is what I'm saying. Women have a higher tendency to submit to authority. And 0.99

00:58:58.380 ultimately, I think that a lot of that is not, I'm not even saying it's bad. I think that's

00:59:02.620 part of God's design. The woman tends to be her, you know, her propensity, natural propensity is 1.00

00:59:10.020 to be more amicable, to go along, to get along, to go with the majority, to go with whoever is in

00:59:16.960 power, whoever is in authority, where men, especially young men, until they're not their

00:59:24.520 will broken, but shaped and harnessed, strength harnessed, under control, still strong, in fact

00:59:30.160 stronger, but under control, being able to focus and target that strength. But until that happens

00:59:37.960 with maturity and time, men tend to be more rebellious towards authority. So women naturally 0.99

00:59:44.160 being more submissive to authority and men being more rebellious towards authority. And I remember

00:59:50.260 thinking, you know, initially thinking, well, maybe, but not anymore because of feminism. And

00:59:55.980 And so now, you know, women, they hate the word submission, you know, and that's true. 0.81

01:00:00.480 They do hate the word.

01:00:01.600 But here's the reality. 1.00

01:00:03.020 Funny enough, women still submit. 1.00

01:00:05.900 The only difference is that the authority has shifted. 1.00

01:00:09.460 The authority has changed.

01:00:12.620 So if you go back, you know, 50 years ago or even just 30 years ago, we would talk about

01:00:17.880 the epidemic of men leaving the church, right?

01:00:20.080 Men are leaving the church in mass, you know, to watch football or to go fishing or whatever.

01:00:25.000 they don't want to be in church. And so you got all these women and children in church,

01:00:29.800 but the husbands are gone. Well, the reigning dogma, the orthodoxy, lowercase o, orthodoxy of

01:00:37.300 the day was still at some level religion, the Christian religion. And men are bucking against

01:00:43.760 that with that natural tendency to rebel against authority. Now you see women are actually, young

01:00:50.080 single women are leaving the church in mass and men are returning to it. And I think part of that

01:00:54.420 is the total regime change um politically culturally spiritually speaking in our country

01:01:00.180 that now uh that that leftists leftism has has had basically almost a total takeover

01:01:07.440 um it does seem like there's a little bit of hope um on the horizon uh but uh you look at from you

01:01:14.500 know 2010 you know i mean and obviously earlier but but and it being so blatant 2010 all the way

01:01:22.100 to like 2024 and you know 2020 and 2021 and 2022 kind of being a high watermark for the left

01:01:30.360 it was a near total takeover you're talking about all of academia you're talking about all the media

01:01:35.840 you're talking about all of corporate america all of politics the white house you know everything

01:01:41.240 was leftism and so the reigning dogma the reigning authority was left coded and and so then now what

01:01:50.140 are you seeing once that total regime takeover of the the the switch of authority has happened

01:01:57.540 now you see young men bucking against that saying oh that's the authority well i'm going to be right

01:02:02.340 wing right that's the authority uh well i'm gonna you know i'm gonna start listening to alex jones

01:02:08.540 you know or i'm gonna go to this trump rally or i'm gonna you know whatever uh i'm gonna oh uh

01:02:13.100 the the authority is anti-church i'm gonna start going to church and then they want to find what

01:02:18.800 They want to find, like, the most traditional, oldest, you know, church they can find.

01:02:24.200 Like, you know, the theology at some level is irrelevant, and I'm not saying that men

01:02:28.240 aren't genuinely persuaded.

01:02:29.660 I understand in the comments, young men will say, no, no, no, I was persuaded by this argument

01:02:34.540 of this church father, whatever, and sure, I believe you, but I think it also has to

01:02:39.660 do, so maybe it's, you know, maybe it's not, you know, as a substitute to that, but in

01:02:43.720 addition i think you know young men are like okay so everything it's relativism is reigning supreme

01:02:49.580 leftism is reigning supreme uh humanist secularism um anti-tradition modernity everything you know

01:02:58.280 is just modern and new and novel so i'm gonna go to church and which church am i gonna go to i'm

01:03:03.960 gonna go to this uh this old cathedral with robes and tassels and incense and stained glass and you

01:03:11.140 know we'll throw in a few images you know for good measure i'd like some statues over here some

01:03:15.600 statues over there um i want to hear gregorian chants i want to you know like i want i want old

01:03:21.420 um because the regime the authority is new the the authority is relativism so they want

01:03:28.440 transcendence and objectivity the the it's modernity so they want tradition the the authority

01:03:35.040 the the regime is anti-religion so they want religion it's leftist so they want right wing 1.00

01:03:40.580 um whereas women here's here's my point the irony is that all these feminist women 1.00

01:03:45.360 it's not that the heart of feminism is that they're rebelling against authority 0.99

01:03:50.220 um they're actually submitting to authority and the authority is telling them to be feminist 0.87

01:03:55.580 and so they are and so they are so right now what you have is you actually have a switch

01:04:01.180 um whereas again 30 40 50 years ago men were leaving the church and there was still this

01:04:07.140 hangover of this authority and dogma of church is good, Christianity is good, tradition is good.

01:04:14.200 So women were submitting to authority and being in church. Men were kicking against the goads 0.92

01:04:19.660 and leaving, exiting the church. Now you have the reverse effect. Men are coming back to church,

01:04:25.520 women are leaving the church. And I think one of the determining factors is the switch of the

01:04:30.320 authority. So women are actually not really changing in their ontology, in the way that 0.57

01:04:38.220 they've been wired by God. What are they doing at the end of the day? They're raging against the 1.00

01:04:41.820 machine. They're being an individual. They're being unique. Nope. Women are doing what women

01:04:47.160 have always done. They're submitting to authority. It's what they do. They're submitting to authority. 1.00

01:04:54.280 The problem is that the authority was hijacked, fully taken over, a full hostile takeover by anti-religion, anti-tradition, a bunch of communists.

01:05:07.480 And so women are actually submitting to authority by submitting to communism, submitting to leftism, all those kinds of things.

01:05:14.560 And men are coming back to the church.

01:05:17.180 And it's just kind of this musical chairs and we're just swapping.

01:05:20.320 But my point is that they keep missing each other. 0.98

01:05:22.560 they just they keep missing each other the women are in this space looking for men

01:05:26.740 and the men are in this space looking for women and currently right now i think women

01:05:31.840 on the whole are in the wrong space left-coded spaces and men are in a good space right-coded

01:05:37.480 spaces but a big part of it for me comes down to um some of those things i think are innate and

01:05:43.240 you're not going to be able to change to me a lot of it comes down to the system of this this

01:05:48.040 prolonged interim period where men and women young single men and women are are just on their

01:05:55.120 own in adolescence perpetuated um and in some cases tragically indefinitely i think like the

01:06:02.360 only way to really fix it um is is to that women would go from one head to another from a father

01:06:11.580 to a husband uh that they would get married young and until they're married that they would still

01:06:17.140 stay under their father's authority um and and honestly it's back to what you said wes so like

01:06:23.960 how does that how do you how do you get rid of this this on average 12 year interim period of

01:06:29.640 a woman who's 18 and leaves her father but doesn't join a husband until she's 30 how do you get rid

01:06:35.160 of that uh well historically the way you got rid of that is there would be nowhere for her to go 0.99

01:06:40.440 in between right there's there's no there's no uh women in college what's that women in the

01:06:48.840 workforce come again yeah what do you mean like at home what do you what do you mean women in the

01:06:54.040 workforce you mean like working at home working at home cooking cows cooking yeah okay yeah that

01:06:59.340 like um no like what that that's you know like but you've got even the the alleged conservatives i

01:07:05.720 saw like tp usa doing a women's leadership summit women's leadership and complete with former only

01:07:13.800 fans models yes you know seriously with a former only fans model uh being one of the speakers i

01:07:19.580 remember seeing that and you know retweeting and saying women's leadership um is just like

01:07:23.880 where women get together and and they're told who leaders are and and so it's like a conference

01:07:30.680 about husbands and fathers you know and like you know like that no that's not what it is it's um

01:07:37.160 it's a conference for women to be leaders um and women can lead but they uh if they want to lead

01:07:44.680 they will lead alone they will be alone um and it's just that's not the way god created men and

01:07:51.220 women men are not going to want to marry a three you know piece you know suit piece boss babe you 0.60

01:07:57.660 know um whatever uh that's just that's never gonna gonna happen and so yeah i think a big a big thing

01:08:04.420 going back to what west said is you're going to have to have you know societal changes writ large

01:08:10.640 um that ultimately bring bring women back home and in the case of single women it would be bringing

01:08:17.260 them back to their father and they would be wanting to start their own household their own 1.00

01:08:22.180 family and skipping that step of indefinite independence. They would know that for me to

01:08:30.240 leave, right? I mean, all this is biblical for this reason, not college, not career. For this

01:08:36.440 reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and cling close, cling fast to his wife. The purpose 0.99

01:08:44.200 of leaving your initial household that you grew up in is to start your own. The Bible doesn't give

01:08:52.140 any other reason for for leaving uh your first family but to start your own family and so i i

01:09:01.440 feel like until until we um until we find a way whether it's through tax benefits or legislation

01:09:09.400 or you know this that or the other until we find a way to create less opportunity and i know some

01:09:16.500 people hear this and say that sounds cruel uh it's not it's merciful it will lead women's happiness

01:09:21.180 is at an all-time low it will make women married women are generally happy that's right single

01:09:27.060 women are miserable miserable yeah with their their glass of wine and their cats they're 0.98

01:09:31.080 miserable so this is not we're not trying to disparage women we love women we'd like them 0.99

01:09:34.940 to be happy and the bible tells us um what what is for our good and and where and how we will be

01:09:42.440 most happy and so in love for both men and women um until we as a society make some kind of

01:09:50.140 systematic changes to where um there's nowhere for women to go but marriage uh then i don't think

01:09:59.040 you're going to see it changed and here's the thing um sometimes you can black pill and you

01:10:03.640 can think like well i don't you know we have such godless leadership you know even all the you know

01:10:08.200 alleged conservatives are feminists you know and like trump's not going to do that and this person's

01:10:13.180 not going to do that and um you can black pill and despair pretty easily but the thing that

01:10:18.120 encourages me is just remembering that at the end of the day, it's not just making conscious

01:10:21.880 decisions and the leadership of our country, doing the right thing that aligns with scripture.

01:10:26.300 If that were the only hope, then yeah, we're, you know, up the creek without a paddle because I

01:10:33.200 don't have a whole lot of faith in politicians, but God is exceedingly merciful. And by way of

01:10:39.320 providence, he will sometimes in his mercy force us back onto the rails that we in our rebellion

01:10:46.260 God off of. And he'll do it even though we didn't make that conscious decision without sending

01:10:50.860 revival to the land, without changing our hearts. He'll just get us back on the rails. And then in

01:10:55.900 his mercy, the heart changed and those kinds of things will eventually follow. And one of the

01:11:00.240 ways that God could do that by his providence, there's a number, but one is AI. Artificial

01:11:05.800 intelligence is taking jobs, but it will be taking, mark my words, it will be taking female 1.00

01:11:12.840 jobs disproportionately it's not taking trash truck collectors nope garbage truck men yep it 0.95

01:11:18.060 is going to be taking uh the some of the the first jobs that will be replaced and are being

01:11:23.920 replaced will be um the most meaningless jobs admin hr like i mean it's seriously like you go

01:11:35.180 to your your your work tomorrow morning your corporation and you look at which departments

01:11:41.500 would it be great if we got rid of and then look and see who works there is it men or is it women

01:11:49.560 right your hr department all these all these kind of pencil pushing uh busy work admin jobs uh these 0.99

01:11:57.460 kinds of things uh these will be replaced and the statistics are that disproportionately women are 1.00

01:12:03.460 the ones who work these kinds of jobs uh the the very type of jobs um that are most easy easily 0.93

01:12:11.920 replaceable and uh and i i think on it so that my point is even without revival coming to the land

01:12:17.500 although we pray for that and hope that that's the case but even without a spiritual revival or

01:12:22.460 a conscious heart change and a change of of course that we actually make as a decision

01:12:27.960 i think that just providentially in god's mercy through technological innovation and god can also

01:12:34.680 you know another thing that can get a society on path real quick we don't wish for but just saying

01:12:39.480 historically uh that can bring a nation together and get men into their god-given roles and women

01:12:45.960 back into their god-given war conflict someone pointed out in the chat totally tragedy uh calamity

01:12:52.520 famine um uh economic crash all like so whether it's technological innovation like ai or whether

01:12:58.980 it's a war or whether it's a crash in the market or whether it's this or that there are a lot of

01:13:02.860 ways that god can actually force us to return to nature right because because all this is is at

01:13:09.580 some level it's it's the fact that we have this artificial we've we've found a way to manipulate

01:13:15.680 God's natural order and we've created this artificial world and all it needs is just a

01:13:22.820 little bit of pressure just a little bit of providential pressure and it pops like a bubble

01:13:29.700 and it's not sustainable and all of a sudden it's like okay like we've got you know we've got this

01:13:35.780 task and it requires physical strength okay it's going to be you know it's going to be like 99%

01:13:41.620 men um and uh we've we've got this over here and like and it's going to be women and so um my point

01:13:49.060 is that you know if you're looking out to your political leaders or you're looking even at the

01:13:53.040 church which can be incredibly discouraging looking at the evangelical church whatever it is

01:13:57.120 and you're thinking we don't have the grit we don't have the will i don't see anybody you know

01:14:01.640 it doesn't seem like people are willing to change they just want to double down and just continue to

01:14:06.380 be a bunch of libs um there's a lot of truth in that um however at the end of the day we don't

01:14:12.880 get to decide and uh history has proven and scripture in the old testament with israel

01:14:18.340 like how many times was israel off the rails and god said you know what will fix this

01:14:23.460 um everyone getting together and just digging deep inside and making the right decision nope

01:14:29.520 you know what fix this 70 years of captivity that'll fix it real quick all it'll take is 70

01:14:35.100 years and everybody's going to have a great attitude. And people are going to repent of

01:14:41.620 their sin, repent of their idolatry. And God has done it countless times with this society and

01:14:48.780 this civilization and this empire. God is sovereign, just as sovereign as he ever was.

01:14:54.860 And in his mercy, he can turn up the faucet of pain or providence by AI or whatever it is,

01:15:02.220 pain or providence and he can turn up those faucets and push us back on the rails despite

01:15:08.300 ourselves and that gives me hope so we need to we need to deal with the chat we've got some super

01:15:16.740 chats that we want to make sure to honor and then we've got some good questions that you guys have

01:15:20.260 sent in which we appreciate do we have one more commercial break we do okay let's go to one more

01:15:24.600 commercial break and we'll come back and we'll start dealing with the chat are you a christian

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01:19:25.100 so welcome back we're gonna hit the questions we've got a number of questions and some super

01:19:28.860 chats, but practically on advice, you gave some to the men. But I did want to round it off with

01:19:33.320 one just really practical way of framing it. So this was a great post from a couple days ago,

01:19:38.480 and I'm just going to read it, and I think it says it really well. So this is someone kind of

01:19:42.360 using that frame. Have you got a young man? Yeah, bro, there's like zero young women at my church.

01:19:47.200 I'll never find a date. Oh, that's tough, dude. What church do you go to? Yeah, it's a church in

01:19:51.600 the Reformed Ecclesiastical Theological Associate Reform Denomination of the Southeast. We broke 0.76

01:19:56.900 off from the RPCNA back in the 90s when Joe Moorcraft went liberal for not making Alex Jones

01:20:01.360 an elder. There's like five churches in our denomination scattered through the South.

01:20:05.020 The biggest one has nearly 70 members and is only 40 miles from the nearest town. And he's being a

01:20:10.240 little bit funny about that. Like we're the super hyper niche, you know, we're the only truly

01:20:14.480 reformed church. No, not just in our town, not just in our state, but in the entire United States.

01:20:20.080 But practically speaking, men, if you want to get married, we have lost a lot of those cultural

01:20:24.900 institutions that bring men and women together. There's a reason people marry their high school 1.00

01:20:29.060 sweetheart. Because they were brought together in high school. They were brought together in sports.

01:20:32.860 He's on the field playing football. She's a cheerleader. You're up in the bleachers cheering

01:20:36.480 for the same team. But a lot of those contexts in adulthood that bring people together, we've lost

01:20:42.340 them. Or we will bring people together, but we'll do them for quirky, silly reasons. We'll do it for

01:20:46.840 Halloween parties and Friendsgiving, not realizing the reason we did these dances and social events

01:20:53.100 and everything was for men and women to get together, to hang out, and to spark relationships.

01:20:57.840 So a lot of that has been lost. You don't have those contexts to meet and interact with women

01:21:01.820 as much anymore. And practically, especially if you want a godly woman, less and less the United

01:21:06.620 States is godly, you're going to have to go where godly women are. If we're being perfectly honest, 0.99

01:21:12.300 your OPC church of 25 people, they're not there. Now, never are we to go to what would be a non-church,

01:21:18.460 what would be a church with women pastors, for instance.

01:21:21.860 But practically speaking, I think it is perfectly permissible.

01:21:24.300 And I've had men ask me this, to say, I have these convictions.

01:21:28.120 I'm Reformed. I'm Calvinistic. I'm theonomic. I'm this, that, or the other.

01:21:31.820 But practically speaking, I also want to be married and have a family.

01:21:34.980 And I'm going to go down the street to this church that's a lot more like John MacArthur's church,

01:21:39.260 but it's male elders. They preach the gospel, the singing.

01:21:43.060 You know, they got the guitars and the rock band. 1.00

01:21:45.500 but here's the deal there's a thousand single women in their 20s and 30s there that's right 1.00

01:21:49.720 that is it's not required but i think it is very much so permissible i'm going to go there i'm

01:21:55.140 going to serve the lord and i'm going to spend time around men or women for women it would be

01:21:59.920 kind of the opposite going to a good reformed church like ogden or like ours to be around

01:22:04.000 single men i think that's perfectly permissible to do yeah i agree um categories uh true church

01:22:10.340 versus false church, and then good church versus bad church. You can be in a true church that's not

01:22:16.800 a good church. It's an okay church. It's a decent church, but it is true, meaning it is, you know,

01:22:24.900 lowercase o, orthodox. It's not heretical. It does constitute as a church, and it's not the best

01:22:32.360 church or even necessarily close to the best church, but to go there for the purpose of snagging 0.71

01:22:39.040 a bride is, I think, permissible. We had a young man who moved out with us back in 2020 0.98

01:22:47.180 from California, where I pastored previously. And so he moved out when we all moved, myself and my

01:22:55.640 family and about seven other families. And he was the only single man who came with us at the end

01:23:00.820 of 2020 and um and about two three years ago uh we our church was still smaller at the time

01:23:08.480 and i remember he called me and and he was all worked up you know like he like he felt terrible

01:23:14.860 about it you could tell he felt guilty but he also just felt sad because he loved our church

01:23:18.800 and he loved me and it was no hard feelings uh but he said i there's this other church and i've

01:23:23.320 been attending you know some of their midweek programs you know for singles and young adults

01:23:28.000 and things like that. But I'm still kind of an outsider because I'm a member at your church and

01:23:35.900 I go to your church on Sunday and I want to join this church. And I knew the pastor and he was a

01:23:40.940 good guy. He knows how controversial I am and all that kind of stuff. And he's always treated me

01:23:44.560 with kindness. But the church is just not quite as conservative as our churches, but it's a true

01:23:50.780 church um it they love the bible um they're they're lowercase o orthodox and uh they're not

01:23:57.840 heretics um they they do some things differently than we do and there's some topics that they

01:24:03.140 probably won't address that we would be willing to address they're not as liturgical um when it

01:24:08.680 comes to their order of worship uh there's a little bit of the rock band you know it's more

01:24:13.000 tasteful than some churches they don't have smoke machines and things like that but but it is you

01:24:17.840 know a little bit more of a concert uh that you know we're acapella in our singing um but i love

01:24:23.440 that because it's here's a young man who cares deeply about theology has been you know um in in

01:24:29.020 my church and was willing to move across the country uh to come with us and all these things

01:24:33.980 and yet um he realized i i can't afford to be an ideologue i i don't want to be um an an ideologue

01:24:41.640 who is single my whole life.

01:24:44.420 I would rather be a permissible degree of pragmatic

01:24:48.460 and be married.

01:24:51.060 And then I can always come back to your church

01:24:53.540 or find some other solid church that I agree with.

01:24:57.460 But I need to be willing for a couple of years 1.00

01:24:59.420 to go where the women are.

01:25:02.540 And I completely blessed him to do so.

01:25:06.520 And no hard feelings.

01:25:07.880 And I was like, yeah, you don't need to feel guilty.

01:25:09.840 This is not sin.

01:25:10.600 so yeah i think that's really good practical advice really good yep okay uh let's go ahead

01:25:18.460 and deal with the chat oh i'll take this first one so uh sparty buck uh he said uh there are

01:25:24.140 biological and physiological consequences for psychological psychological i'm sorry biological

01:25:29.880 and psychological consequences for body count um this is true we don't have time to get into it

01:25:35.100 but that would be a good episode to do sometime.

01:25:37.780 You know, Wes has plenty of experience

01:25:41.620 in the realm of biology and those kinds of things.

01:25:43.740 And so eventually that would be-

01:25:45.320 I prefer the term knowledge

01:25:45.900 rather than experience on that one.

01:25:47.260 Okay, all right, knowledge.

01:25:48.400 Plenty of knowledge in that realm.

01:25:51.200 But yeah, that would be a good topic to discuss.

01:25:54.140 And for the record, I'll just say this.

01:25:55.600 It is true that having more sexual partners

01:26:00.720 has um a biological uh certainly psychological but even biological effect and here's the deal

01:26:07.460 we don't live in egalitarian world that's not the world that god made so that effect um it doesn't

01:26:13.220 happen to men it happens to women yeah and that's just the facts it's like oh well you know so like

01:26:19.100 so men um can can get away scott clean um biologically speaking yes um now there are

01:26:26.380 other consequences right you can get stds and those kinds of things like uh god will not be

01:26:30.860 mocked by men or women um you know and so uh there are consequences and then of course most

01:26:36.000 importantly there are the consequences of sin spiritually you know and psychologically and

01:26:40.720 mentally um emotionally those kinds of things but in the case of women there actually are

01:26:45.720 biological consequences that are not there for men but that are there for women uh that women

01:26:51.560 were intended by god to have one sexual partner um and and they are affected uh much more severely

01:26:59.160 if uh if that's not the case uh then men are and that's worth talking about for uh young women to

01:27:05.980 be aware of and for young men as they're considering um a spouse and looking to marry a woman uh that

01:27:12.640 her past yes we have a god who redeems we believe the gospel we're saved uh not by our meticulous

01:27:19.220 law keeping, but by the perfect and finished obedience of Christ, by grace alone, through

01:27:23.060 faith alone, and Christ alone. So we're not talking about, well, this woman has a sketchy

01:27:29.120 past, and therefore she can't be a Christian, or therefore she can't be a member in a Bible

01:27:34.440 believing church, or therefore we should treat her with disrespect. We're not saying any of those

01:27:41.240 things. But we are saying that when it comes to looking for a spouse and who to marry,

01:27:46.060 um that should be considered it should be considered on both sides of the aisle

01:27:50.660 a man's past a woman's past but biologically speaking there are uh deeper much deeper

01:27:58.720 consequences for the woman than there are for the man so good comment from Sparty Buck he's right

01:28:03.820 about that we'll try to deal with that more in depth in the future uh and Tony you want to take

01:28:07.780 the next two yeah yeah so nobody's special two comments here uh two super chats uh first one

01:28:13.860 says uh most of the women in churches even women in their 60s and 70s are second wave feminists

01:28:19.560 this is of course completely true so much of the rudiments of uh what we see today what we're seeing

01:28:26.120 played out today in third wave feminism uh were were established in uh you know the mid 20th

01:28:33.320 century um and so of course a lot of people as a consequence bought those lives both women and men

01:28:38.540 alike really i mean even if you speak to some men in the gen x generation so much of the platitudes

01:28:45.000 of feminism they'll agree with um and so uh yeah it's important to note like we're not what we're

01:28:51.800 dealing with uh we said this earlier in the episode what we're dealing with is uh at this

01:28:56.180 point generations old it's it's it's seated in almost every facet of our society um and so of

01:29:02.400 course as we think about uh approaches and and how we address these things we're going to have to

01:29:07.020 consider all of the different ways that it's crept into corners and and what the sort of

01:29:12.740 interdependencies are of of change so a good comment there the second one here says white

01:29:19.580 evangelicals especially homeschoolers are some of the only people in the world who are consistently

01:29:24.520 encouraging their children to wait as long as possible to marry that is some homeschoolers

01:29:30.480 certainly it's like what kind of homeschooler there is a kind that does that and then there

01:29:34.460 is like they're like eighth out of yeah 16 kids in the family and they're expected to have 16

01:29:39.400 themselves but that is certainly a trend that's some married by 12 married by 12 no but i remember

01:29:45.980 like maybe you both remember as well like a big cultural moment was tim tebow if you remember

01:29:51.740 sort of at the height of his college career i i can i remember this uh interview where they're

01:29:57.380 asking him uh you know about girlfriend i think it was something about girlfriends but somehow it

01:30:02.900 got to him waiting until he was married to have sex.

01:30:06.560 And of course it was this incredible uproar, you know,

01:30:09.620 there's a, Tim Tebow has also spoken about this.

01:30:12.200 Like he was obviously on a college football team

01:30:15.080 and he was surrounded by guys who constantly 0.67

01:30:16.820 were trying to tempt him into having sex

01:30:20.360 and sort of, you know, sort of one night stand flings 0.57

01:30:24.260 with women and things like that.

01:30:25.420 And so, yeah, I mean, that was kind of a moment

01:30:29.300 where it was like, okay, this is clearly

01:30:31.780 The unpopular thing, and this would have been...

01:30:34.700 Russell Wilson, too, was very much adamant about that.

01:30:36.880 Yeah, exactly.

01:30:37.780 So, you know, more so in the last, you would say, you know, maybe 15 years,

01:30:42.780 you've seen that just completely flip where it's a very small segment of the population here in America.

01:30:48.780 It's kind of exhausting, like we read this morning in family worship, Ephesians 6,

01:30:52.080 and fathers do not exasperate your children.

01:30:54.320 You're kind of speaking out of both sides of your mouth when you say, wait until marriage.

01:30:57.980 And also, you should get married at about 28 to 29 years old.

01:31:01.480 yeah like the the practical means of waiting till marriage is marrying not extremely young

01:31:07.120 but marrying when you are young like you said earlier joel the wife of your youth and so insofar

01:31:12.120 as people push that it's very contradictory and like purity culture honestly a lot of good like

01:31:17.900 be chaste don't look at terrible things online and wait until marriage like that's good advice

01:31:22.920 but of the negatives that you could say was most certainly a almost denial and a demonizing

01:31:28.520 and wait as long as possible no it's good it's given by god it's intended it's to be kept within

01:31:33.760 marriage and getting married at 20 is a great thing to do without the practical tools of okay

01:31:39.300 what do i do as i wait right what am i to do and so you have sort of secret sin and you've heard

01:31:45.480 this come out a lot uh in some of these circles the you know purity circles of the 90s and early

01:31:51.020 2000s it's like bill gawthard yeah was a single man and then he's asking for massages and he was

01:31:56.620 creepy he never married right yep yep and yet he talked about marriage all the time it's always

01:32:02.400 kind of funny i don't know how we followed him not we personally but like how evangelicals

01:32:07.880 people did yeah captivated by that one yeah real quick i was just gonna add one thing i think that's

01:32:12.200 well said but uh the only thing i would add to it is um i think part of this um this sentiment

01:32:17.940 you know uh even among evangelicals of like you should wait and get married later um that's across

01:32:23.960 the board. I don't think that's particular to evangelicals. I would agree if it's like,

01:32:28.360 you know, including even evangelicals, but that's really across the board for all Westerners

01:32:34.940 and Americans giving counsel to their adult children to wait rather than marrying young.

01:32:41.880 And I think part of it is, I mean, there's a million different factors and we've talked about

01:32:45.860 a lot of them on this episode so far, but one other is the judicial system, legality,

01:32:51.840 uh that um i think there's a lot of people who are telling their children adult children to wait

01:32:56.760 because they have um horror stories of their own and immense regrets of um you know their wife that

01:33:04.320 took them to court and uh and took everything that they had and took the children and did this

01:33:09.760 and did that um and so with the rise of you know no no fault divorce and with um in many cases a 1.00

01:33:18.060 female-coded judicial system that almost always sides with the wife, no matter what the facts 1.00

01:33:24.760 actually are. A lot of men have just realized that the moment they get married and have a child, 0.98

01:33:30.860 it's not just getting married, but it's getting married and having children. The moment they

01:33:34.440 get married and have a child, they become subservient, legally bound in slavery to their 0.99

01:33:41.040 wife she holds every key of power in our society at large in terms of culture in terms of law 0.99

01:33:49.220 at every single level and she can she has she has the power to absolutely destroy his life 1.00

01:33:57.240 to make sure he never sees his children again to take the house to take you know everything that

01:34:02.200 he's worked for not just a 50 50 split but i mean like he is destitute he is ruined and so a lot of

01:34:09.920 people have given that advice especially to their sons to young young single men saying be careful

01:34:17.440 be careful be careful because the moment that you do this yes it's a good thing and yes ultimately

01:34:22.660 I want to see you married I want to see you have kids but if you make the wrong choice marriage 0.97

01:34:28.560 and children today means giving the keys away to a woman who will have the entire weight of our 1.00

01:34:36.760 american system our culture our laws politicians pastors right you go in for marriage counseling 0.69

01:34:43.420 who who are the pastors going to side with with a woman always virtually always um so it is uh i

01:34:52.480 think that's part of the reason why that council has been to wait is because uh boomers and older

01:34:58.620 generations uh gen x especially um has seen uh just a lot of horror stories where um it doesn't

01:35:06.020 mean that men can't do terrible things because they do but men do bad things and so do women

01:35:11.400 they both do bad things but but when you look at the system the system favors the women our current 1.00

01:35:19.340 feminist system favors the women and even the courts I would say especially the courts the 1.00

01:35:25.520 church courts and the civil courts will favor the woman and so the moment that a man gets married

01:35:30.760 and has children um he has made the most vulnerable decision that he will ever make in his lifetime he

01:35:37.640 has basically uh put his neck on uh on a stone and given this lady a knife and uh and with just the 0.73

01:35:45.800 flick of a wrist she can uh she can kill him and absolutely destroy him forever and so yeah it's a 0.72

01:35:52.440 daunting daunting decision dapper dan i'll get this next one dapper dan sent a ten dollar super 0.96

01:35:58.280 chat. Thank you, Dan. He said this, I'm seeing lots of men join the Eastern Orthodox and Catholic

01:36:03.100 churches because they're allegedly not as feminized as Protestant ones. What can the

01:36:07.580 Protestant church do to combat this? The greatest strength of Protestant churches is they're

01:36:13.740 decentralized. That's right. The worst part about Protestant churches is they're decentralized.

01:36:18.860 Certainly in Calvin and even the later Dutch reformers like Bovink, they certainly imagined

01:36:22.600 that the Protestant church would be more uniform than it is right now. So Calvin and Luther,

01:36:26.900 is they unshackled from the Roman church. Their ideal was not. And we're doing this. You could

01:36:31.400 have, you know, first, second, third, fourth, fifth Baptist, all in the same town, and they don't ever 0.88

01:36:35.860 talk to one another. So the reformed church, I mean, it literally means reformed. You formed it

01:36:40.520 again. Because Protestantism has splintered, it's about six to nine denominations. People say,

01:36:45.560 well, you have 30,000 churches. Really, there's about six to nine different strong theological

01:36:50.880 strains, rivers, streams that you could speak of. But the problem, practically speaking,

01:36:55.540 how do we fix this? How do we make them less feminized? Is that you could reform, for example, 0.79

01:37:01.300 the Lutheran church, your ECLA, your LCMS. You could do that, but that doesn't mean that the

01:37:05.780 Episcopalian church, the Anglican church, the Baptist church, the Presbyterian church, that

01:37:10.080 doesn't mean that they're going to do anything about it. And so as far as it comes to reforming

01:37:15.160 and masculinizing Protestant churches, again, it's going to be a church by church model. I love what

01:37:20.780 Ogden, for instance, is doing. They're a little bit ahead of us. They've had a building.

01:37:24.420 They've just been around longer.

01:37:26.240 But I mean, that is a masculine church that is liturgical. 0.81

01:37:29.340 It's traditional.

01:37:30.640 There is not a hint of feminism in the men, the deacons, the leadership, the worship, any of that.

01:37:35.920 And what's going to have to happen is churches like that are going to have to model it.

01:37:39.040 And other pastors and other men take that and realize, man, there seems something different.

01:37:43.280 And I'm realizing they don't have women read scripture from stage.

01:37:47.060 And their worship emphasizes singing instead of instrument and drums. 0.93

01:37:51.720 but practically speaking there is not a mechanism centrally speaking to uh to fix this problem with

01:37:58.340 protestantism it's gonna be a hard one to win yeah i i would just i'll just add to that you

01:38:02.820 know like the label protestant today isn't even really helpful because it's just such a wide

01:38:08.280 spectrum of of uh theological views um but i will i'll say this and this is my conviction obviously

01:38:15.180 um but i think the reform tradition is kind of the only hope for protestantism like that's just

01:38:20.560 that's just where we're at i think um the reform tradition is largely doing this right now and

01:38:26.060 we're seeing this kind of uh sort of uh male you know patriarchal male positive uh sort of church

01:38:32.920 version of church and version of culture emerge and i think that will be good uh as we think about

01:38:38.920 well where are men going to go or is it going to be orthodoxy is it going to be catholicism or

01:38:43.540 the reformed tradition i think the reformed tradition has a lot to offer uh both on theological

01:38:49.500 logical grounds obviously but um also on this on this front yeah yeah all right i can handle this

01:38:57.860 one quick so deacon st john great brother uh faithful supporter he left a 20 super chat

01:39:02.900 with just a really good question and uh maybe instead of reading it what i'll say to this just

01:39:07.680 because there's circumstances it depends on the state it depends on your job situation

01:39:11.400 he's just asking about a custody battle john if you would just message me on x i'd be happy to

01:39:16.400 dialogue just a little bit further about this it's uh wesley underscore todd underscore if you

01:39:21.740 just message with whatever your name is i would be more than happy to dialogue a little bit about

01:39:25.420 this question just basically asking where do i kind of go the court system is against me

01:39:29.580 and i have i have a daughter i want to see her how do i best navigate that so i would be more

01:39:35.340 than happy to talk about it really appreciate your support for our ministry and us yeah i would love

01:39:40.040 to try to be a help thanks john um all right nate is that all the super chats for today

01:39:45.680 Nope, we got more.

01:39:46.620 Oh, we have more.

01:39:47.340 Okay.

01:39:48.000 The Dangerous Gentleman.

01:39:49.340 The Dangerous Gentleman.

01:39:50.480 $10.

01:39:51.020 Thank you.

01:39:51.380 We appreciate that.

01:39:52.560 He says, what do you think about reviving shepherd-led marriage?

01:39:58.020 Not forced, but guided biblical matchmaking through pastors, families, and community.

01:40:04.360 Dating is broken.

01:40:06.000 Christendom needs structure.

01:40:07.900 Yeah, 100%.

01:40:09.060 Yeah.

01:40:09.420 I mean, we talk about that all the time.

01:40:12.340 If it had been five years ago, I would have said, we joke about that.

01:40:15.060 but at this point, I can't even say we're joking. We seriously talk about that as men in our church

01:40:21.160 and as friends. We talk about who our kids are going to marry. And yeah, absolutely. I think I

01:40:29.280 mostly agree with that. I don't think we would force anything. I don't think legally that we

01:40:34.100 could force anything. I know we couldn't. But in terms of strong guidance and encouragement,

01:40:39.520 um absolutely uh there's there's so many things that parents can do um obviously you need to be

01:40:46.360 in a good biblical church you need to be doing you know family worship and catechism with the

01:40:49.960 children with your wife washing her in the word and all these different things and have a home

01:40:53.680 that's warm a home that's fun a home that fears the lord you need to get your kids out of public

01:40:59.440 school you need to have them in a christian distinctly christian school or homeschooled

01:41:04.560 all these things are paramount but there are even more things that you can do you can make sure that

01:41:11.360 you are in a place that has other families in a similar life stage as you so that your your

01:41:17.460 children are going to have multiple marriage options that's a huge thing to be thinking 10

01:41:23.280 15 20 years down the line am i building a life in a community now where my children will have

01:41:29.100 someone to marry that i would approve of because if not then you can't you can't hold that against

01:41:35.300 your kid and say well why are you still single you know or uh why do you keep bringing home deadbeats

01:41:40.640 you know as uh potential suitors it's like well why did you mom and dad um raise me in a community

01:41:47.080 where there was no one no suitable option around so uh so where you go to church and what community

01:41:53.460 you're in and this also has to do with where you live what state you're in and what county you're

01:41:58.400 in, what city you're in, where you live and how you live and where you go to church and who you

01:42:06.180 go to church with is going to be like 98% of the determining factor for who your children marry

01:42:13.640 and if your children marry and when your children marry. So parents, if you love your kids and if

01:42:21.100 they're young, that's even better. That means you have plenty of time. You can make these transitions

01:42:25.300 early. I recognize it is hard to uproot your family from their school, your kids from their

01:42:31.920 school and from their church and from their town. When your kids are 17 years old and 15 years old

01:42:39.360 and 13 years old, way easier to do it before having kids or when your children are young

01:42:45.780 to say, no, we're making the switch now. We're pulling the trigger now. Yes, it'll hurt now,

01:42:52.940 but it'll hurt more later and we have to do this we're going to get out of uh new york where there

01:42:58.620 is now a literal communist uh uh mayor right that just so the democratic nominee for the mayor race

01:43:07.040 is a literal muhammadin socialist yes yes yeah so you got an islam born islamic foreign born

01:43:15.200 socialist um and for those who are like well that socialism isn't all bad yeah but this is the

01:43:21.420 communist version of socialism right so this is this is as bad as it can possibly get and uh yeah

01:43:27.220 if you're in new york what why are you in new york stop that like what stop it get some help

01:43:33.300 get some help stop it get some help let me play this out too when you said about like dating

01:43:37.200 options so i have a daughter and i'm going to be involved when a young man comes to ask for her

01:43:41.440 hand in assessing him and just picking a good man here's what's going to help a ton if we stay in

01:43:46.400 this area and stay in the church there will be young men that i have known for 20 years i know

01:43:51.240 their dad and his character i know his mom i know their marriage i've seen him grow up i've seen

01:43:56.680 what he's interested in how he's working and so he comes to me and says i would be interested

01:44:00.820 in pursuing your daughter i have a entire backdrop of context to say this is a good virtuous young

01:44:06.860 man sweetie and i'm excited for you to begin this endeavor versus when she's 25 and she comes home

01:44:11.780 with a man and i don't know him you don't know anything and so i'm trying to do my best and say

01:44:16.220 well what uh tell me about your spiritual life tell me about this what are your ambitions you

01:44:20.620 have to go meet his parents for the first time trying to first time and so just practically

01:44:25.720 where you are being rooted staying there picking somewhere staying put when it comes time for

01:44:31.260 dating you are giving your kids exponentially more good options practically tangibly speaking

01:44:37.720 you are giving them much better chances of not being young men or young women that are in their

01:44:42.520 30s saying why didn't this happen to me all my friends got married but there's nobody that i

01:44:47.840 know and and i never got picked and i want a family so deeply and it just never happened but

01:44:53.100 why right the only thing i was going to add to that so so where do you live who do you live with

01:44:58.240 where do you go to church um what school do your kids go to or homeschooling co-op or this or that

01:45:04.140 like who are their peers what other families are in your community who are they around all those

01:45:09.320 are massive massively important decisions not just what we do privately as our immediate family in

01:45:15.200 the home with catechism and family worship but um are we in a community that thinks like us are we

01:45:20.800 in a community of others who also do family worship in their home like our church um i don't

01:45:27.300 know of any family there might be one uh that sends their kids to public school so like so we

01:45:33.620 don't have to walk on eggshells and you know and just assume we'll like 80 you know go to uh to

01:45:40.500 public school and we're trying not to offend them and share our convictions too strongly, you know,

01:45:45.340 but I'm looking for those three other families in a church of 500 people, you know, that have the

01:45:50.320 same conviction that we do, you know, or think of it like, like cell phones. I don't know a single

01:45:54.740 family in our church that has 12 year olds with a smartphone, you know, like not one. So that is a

01:46:00.920 huge thing. And that doesn't mean we don't have some disagreements, you know, like obviously some

01:46:04.360 parents, you know, are homeschooled, some parents are, you know, classical, you know, Christian

01:46:08.820 school uh there are still differences and we hash those out we have those kind of conversations but

01:46:13.500 there's so much more unity like we're so so much closer together um just by virtue of being in a

01:46:22.260 you know a solid biblical church that talks about these things out loud publicly um a lot of churches

01:46:28.480 the reason why you have such a wide swath is because it's never publicly talked about from

01:46:32.180 the pulpit and that's why you have you know people all across the spectrum from public school and

01:46:38.260 their eight-year-old has a smartphone and is playing Angry Birds during the service versus

01:46:44.360 somebody else who's like a homeschool-only family. And part of the reason why you have that wide of

01:46:50.240 a spectrum in some churches is because no one actually feels ostracized because the pastor

01:46:55.260 strategically, like a politician, just doesn't talk about those subjects at all. So finding those

01:47:00.800 things. And then the last thing I was going to say is not just where you raise the kids,

01:47:03.980 who you raise them with getting in a good state good town good church good school but also

01:47:10.120 preparing for their future financially one of the big things that my wife and i decided when

01:47:16.140 we moved to texas was to be with our family because one we just realized that we were training

01:47:22.920 our children to move as far away from us as possible when they became adults and how were

01:47:29.300 we training that we never said that we would never say that we don't want our kids to grow

01:47:33.020 up and leave us we want to be close to our children our grandchildren but we were but we

01:47:37.240 that's what we were communicating by our example right meemaw and papa and grandma and grandpa are

01:47:42.960 coming and visiting you know a few times a year as much as they can um love us and love the grandkids

01:47:48.780 but but we live you know 1300 miles away both sides of our family lived in texas and we were

01:47:54.200 in california and we realized um what what are we teaching our kids and then we just were like no

01:48:00.940 family matters yeah um and so so we made that's part of the reason why we made the switch and

01:48:06.320 then what i was going to say in addition to that is so right now like my kids are seeing their

01:48:10.360 grandparents on both sides um and all their cousins we have 25 you know extended family

01:48:15.840 members within a 12 mile radius they're sending seeing their family and their grandparents on

01:48:20.120 both sides um multiple times a week it's normative they're growing that's all they'll ever know

01:48:26.180 that's all they'll ever remember we made that switch early while they were still still young

01:48:30.240 so that's going to be largely ingrained in them so not just where are we raising them but where

01:48:34.940 are we setting them up to go once we're done raising them and the way we're setting them up

01:48:39.920 both by the priority of family but then also by living in in a red state in a place that is much

01:48:45.800 more affordable than many other places in the country and and then also the financial piece

01:48:51.360 I am actively working even now to build capital so that I can help my son start a business so

01:48:58.880 that i can help each of my children with purchasing a house uh so that it's like well but they're not

01:49:04.300 under your roof and you know especially once they get married like your daughters they're going to

01:49:07.520 have their own head of household their husband um and he will trump you as dad yes and amen that's

01:49:13.260 what the bible teaches um and i support it 100 i will not have the authority to tell them that

01:49:19.000 they can't move away but i can bribe them and i'm going to have a handsome bribe i'm going to look

01:49:24.160 at that young man who's going to be my future son-in-law you know he's dating they get engaged

01:49:28.540 and i'm going to say listen um you're going to be the man of the house and my daughter will be yours

01:49:34.540 she'll always be my little girl but she will report to you first as the authority in her life

01:49:38.880 um and i will support you and whatever decision you make that's not you know inherently sinful

01:49:44.800 um that said if you take my daughter and my future grandchildren across the country away from me

01:49:52.020 um i will love you and i will come visit as often as i can but i'm not buying you a house

01:49:58.540 you live here you get all my love and support either way but also you get a house you can do

01:50:04.820 you can just do things turns out that's one of the things that you can do all right are there

01:50:09.520 any other that we have uh trey smith antonio yeah we've got a lot uh one from trey smith for 20

01:50:15.500 bucks thanks trey uh he says married too young and too soon are not the same one might be young

01:50:21.880 early 20s and be well adjusted with a healthy attachment style and prudent using discernment

01:50:27.460 go find another person with those traits and get married yes and amen well said trey uh did we do

01:50:34.300 dapper dan we did we did dapper dan we did dangerous gentlemen all right that's it we nailed

01:50:39.640 it okay um let's go ahead and call it a day uh one of these days we'll see uh but one of these days

01:50:46.820 we're going to try to get into the habit of a tight hour and a half that's our goal right so

01:50:54.300 we're kind of we're kind of building up towards that and um i think i think on monday we went

01:50:59.080 like two and a half hours it was long we okay we's doing a lot of work you're right um but yeah

01:51:06.640 that's it for today we're a little bit under two hours encouragement for single men that is a hard

01:51:11.780 space to be and especially you want to be married i'll just say put it this way i do not know any

01:51:16.700 40 year old millionaires that are healthy men that exercise get out and that are godly that are

01:51:23.640 single. You may be a single man in your 30s. What do I do? Where do I go this, that, or the other?

01:51:28.160 Well, maybe you pursue the basics. You're in an area, you're in a church, wherever it is in your

01:51:32.960 life situation, and it's just not happening. Well, pursue being a godly man. The wealth that you can

01:51:38.680 give then to the church or to maybe those that you care for or mentor or adopt, that's a good

01:51:43.960 thing. Buffeting your body through self-control and discipline, that's a great thing. Being godly

01:51:48.700 is a great thing. So pursue those things. And I would not be surprised. I've known so many men

01:51:53.920 that were in their 30s and they were not happy to be single. And they were like, it's never

01:51:57.900 happening. I'm going to die alone. And I know them and they're celebrating their third wedding

01:52:01.980 anniversary. Not everyone, not every single one, but pursue the godly traits that are godly and

01:52:06.980 make you masculine. And I would not be surprised if in time, what do you know? I found a woman that

01:52:13.920 says, Hey, this man, he's older, but, uh, he's a good man and a godly man. And I want to join his

01:52:19.040 home. Yep. And if you're a woman, the advice that I would give twofold, number one, don't be a

01:52:23.160 feminist, be godly and don't be a feminist. Number two, I know this one hurts, but, um, I, I'm just,

01:52:29.100 I'm tired of a lot of, you know, fathers and pastors and, uh, people who genuinely love,

01:52:34.320 but they don't have the heart to say it. And, and so I'll, I'll say it. Um, don't be a feminist,

01:52:39.840 be godly but secondly uh lose weight there are um there are plenty of incredible uh godly women

01:52:49.080 who love the lord and are not feminist and i just don't know what it is i can't figure it out and i

01:52:54.560 still can't you know it's been this many years i'm trying to find a husband and um and and honestly

01:52:59.920 and you can say well men you know are too vain or this or that or the other um there are a lot of

01:53:07.620 women who are overweight and i understand that there are plenty of men who are overweight i

01:53:12.920 understand but it is different um that man who is 50 pounds overweight but makes uh two hundred

01:53:20.420 thousand dollars a year and um and has ambition and is godly with a decent personality and some 0.92

01:53:28.800 humor to top it off um he will be able to get a bride because women are simply less they're just 0.55

01:53:34.840 they're less visual than men are uh whereas the the female equivalent who is also godly and you 1.00

01:53:42.680 know and is feminine and these kinds of things but she's over the woman who is overweight her her 0.59

01:53:48.440 weight is going to hurt her more than the man that's not an excuse for like joel just said that

01:53:53.220 men can be fat no um men men should be disciplined and uh if you're a man and you're fat um then

01:53:59.100 that's a problem and you should uh you should work to fix that um but i i the point that i'm

01:54:04.960 making is uh i'm thinking of just you know every couple that you know with every marriage i've

01:54:10.340 ever officiated which at this point is dozens and i'll just say this um i have officiated happy

01:54:17.840 couples and on average a lot more tubos on the groom side of the aisle than on the bride side

01:54:25.160 it out i've seen a lot of tubby men get married i have not seen a lot of women who are weighing

01:54:31.960 more than they than they should get married both should lose weight you will live longer your life

01:54:37.160 will be happier you will have more and more energy and it is godlier to have control over your diet

01:54:43.020 and food that is not just like well it's just it's not a moral failing no it's some are fast

01:54:47.860 no there's a moral impetus yeah yep okay thanks for tuning in and uh we'll see you guys again

01:54:54.200 on Friday.

The NXR Podcast - June 25, 2025

THE LIVESTREAM - Modern Women Are DONE Dating ｜ Are Men To Blame？

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