The NXR Podcast - June 25, 2025


THE LIVESTREAM - Modern Women Are DONE Dating | Are Men To Blame?


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 54 minutes

Words per minute

184.9395

Word count

21,253

Sentence count

480

Harmful content

Misogyny

99

sentences flagged

Toxicity

23

sentences flagged

Hate speech

92

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Pastor Joel Webbin and Wesley Todd discuss why women have checked out of dating, and who's to blame. This episode is brought to you by Right Response Ministries, our premier sponsors, armored republic and reese fund, as well as our generous donors.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Leave us a five-star review on your favorite podcast platform.
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00:00:16.160 You and I both know that this ministry is willing to talk about things that most ministries
00:00:20.820 aren't.
00:00:21.580 We need this content for the glory of God to reach more people's ears.
00:00:26.840 women have checked out of dating are men to blame this episode is brought to you by our
00:00:35.380 premier sponsors armored republic and reese fund as well as our patreon members and our generous
00:00:41.360 donors you can join our patreon by going to patreon.com forward slash right response ministries
00:00:47.540 or you can make a donation today by going to right response ministries.com forward slash
00:00:54.000 donate. Again, the title of this episode is Women Are Checking Out of Dating, Are Men to Blame?
00:01:01.120 Spoiler alert, yes, but maybe not as much as women. Battle of the sexes doesn't necessarily 1.00
00:01:09.280 help us, doesn't really solve any of our problems, yet at the same time, building a house of peace 0.88
00:01:16.200 on a foundation of lies will not solve the problem either. We do need to be honest. We need
00:01:22.920 to be honest about strengths, we need to be honest about weaknesses, and we need to be honest
00:01:27.680 about who to blame, for what, and to what degree. Tune in now.
00:01:41.920 G-A, G-A, G-A. Good afternoon. G-A. We finally got some good color coordination going on.
00:01:47.460 The other live stream, it was blue, blue, black. We looked like a bruise. Now it's too blue,
00:01:52.000 nice green in the middle the fact that you even remember what we were wearing i remember because
00:01:57.960 for two and a half hours i had to look at a feed of badly matching okay all right all right okay so
00:02:03.840 we are back michael belch is still out of the studio he's traveling uh we have antonio for
00:02:08.440 those who are joining us for the first time so antonio is to my left and then we also have wesley
00:02:12.360 todd to my right uh i'm pastor joel webbin we're glad to be with you and we're gonna be i i think 0.82
00:02:17.740 right out of the gate we should uh show just an absolutely atrocious clip um from two women who
00:02:25.700 should not be giving counsel or advice to anyone um i think probably they should be locked up
00:02:31.660 um you know but uh i think we should start with a clip and this is what's the name of an antonio
00:02:36.880 this show call her daddy yeah is this the one that kamala went on i think so yeah a number of
00:02:42.620 politicians i think have been on that uh over the last well it's the most listened to podcast
00:02:47.160 by women so you break it down and like the podcast that women listen to most is this train wreck
00:02:52.740 absolute garbage okay so we're going to play a clip and then we're going to go over some uh
00:02:57.260 articles because wes you've pulled up in our preparation for this an article from the new
00:03:01.640 york times yes uh that talks about some really uh shocking and uh really sad uh statistics of
00:03:09.620 where we're at today and what we're anticipating uh in the very near future um just to kind of i
00:03:15.420 don't know prime the pump a little bit one of the statistics i think was women from 25 ages 25 to
00:03:21.300 44 that 45 percent of them would be married or i'm single having never married and childless
00:03:27.660 by 2030 that's like 20 bloomberg estimate yeah so in five years 45 almost half of women between
00:03:34.860 the ages of 25 and 44 will have never married and be childless and just for you know everybody out
00:03:41.980 there who's not you know necessarily you know a professional scientist um 44 uh you're done
00:03:48.540 in terms of having kids i mean like the ship has sailed uh you are not going to be a mother
00:03:53.440 um we're not talking 10 to 44 either 25 prime childbearing years 244 yeah so we're going to
00:03:59.940 get into that article some of the stats we've got some other things that we've pulled for the
00:04:02.960 episode but let's go ahead and start with the clip here we go and i genuinely believe for you
00:04:07.720 Lauren like I'm so happy that you lived with him I'm so happy that you went all the way to the
00:04:13.780 point of seeing yourself in a dress with a ring all of it because now we talk about this a lot
00:04:20.040 of like I can't wait to see the person that you meet next because you are a better person because
00:04:26.820 of that past relationship oh like thank god you met him and like there's things that oh my therapist
00:04:32.860 used to say every person you date gets you one step closer to the person you're supposed to marry
00:04:37.340 and like there's things that i would have no idea that i did not like and that i definitely need
00:04:44.280 yeah and that like trigger me and i feel like i just like know myself a lot more now and so
00:04:50.580 technically though think about this daddy gang if we're doing the math although maybe you would
00:04:56.600 be engaged right now and planning a wedding we have talked about like now knowing how much there
00:05:03.580 was breaking down there's a chance either one you would have been in a really pretty unfulfilling
00:05:09.200 unhappy marriage which could have ended in divorce now you're still so much closer though to just
00:05:16.140 pure happiness of finding your person and I think that should hold a lot of hope in a lot of people's
00:05:25.180 minds if you're about to end something or this episode is helping you think about re-evaluating
00:05:29.260 do you want to take that next step well yes the next step seems super straightforward and easy
00:05:36.080 if you're not a hundred percent in knowing that's the right next step you're then gonna have to take
00:05:41.360 a lot of back steps once you go forward not great incredibly hard listen you're a hero for for
00:05:50.160 finding that doing the lord's work yeah yeah so i mean just some context to that clip there so this
00:05:57.740 is the host of the Call Her Daddy podcast talking with I believe her co-host or good friend whatever
00:06:02.780 the case is about her experience in being engaged getting up to just about being married I think it
00:06:11.340 was toward the end of the engagement and then calling off the engagement and I don't know the
00:06:16.440 specific reasons but I think we can from the context gather the clues that it's something
00:06:20.760 around um uh a lack of fulfillment uh or a lack of uh you know uh self-actualization being you
00:06:31.700 know compatibility compatibility things that i need right right not just things she wants but
00:06:37.560 and so so what we hear from the clip is is the the host um saying you know i actually think that
00:06:43.540 was good for you i think you know having that experience uh being very close to being married
00:06:48.880 uh assuming this woman is uh late 20s maybe early 30s right now i'm playing the wedding and she
00:06:54.240 pauses kind of like yeah it's like almost like she realizes it's like yeah that would have been
00:06:58.940 great right but there's other things really good too yeah yeah almost and so turning it there's
00:07:04.060 this like uh turning it into a positive and saying hey no this is actually great because now you know
00:07:10.100 a little bit more about yourself and what you're looking for and so uh uh i think it's great that
00:07:15.800 this happened. And now we can tell more women about how important, uh, you know, these experiences
00:07:20.160 are that every person you date is bringing you closer and closer to, uh, your, your, uh, soul
00:07:26.780 mate. Let's put it that way. Right. And so where you'll find a hundred percent satisfaction in that
00:07:31.960 person, no red flags, um, nothing to be concerned about, no, no need for sanctification in that
00:07:36.780 person. Um, and of course celebrating this is, is it's, it's, it's tragic because you're, it is
00:07:42.920 the worst lie to tell women that you will ever find someone that is perfect. You won't, right?
00:07:49.760 You need to be 100% on them, she said. 100% confident. I wasn't even 100% sure I wanted
00:07:56.040 what I had for breakfast this morning. A little bit of like, can we improve this? Can we take
00:08:00.140 this away? But think about that with women's psychology for a moment. So you think of the 1.00
00:08:04.080 big five psychology traits. So openness, conscientiousness, extroversion, agreeableness,
00:08:09.220 and neuroticism. I have a degree, it's kind of like a mix of psych and biology. But those are
00:08:14.380 the big five character traits that most people are kind of a balance of. And women by their nature 1.00
00:08:19.020 are tuned to neuroticism. And neuroticism is negative thinking. Now, it's not actually a 1.00
00:08:23.840 bad thing. So that's not saying like, look at women, they're anxious, look at them, they have
00:08:27.280 negative thoughts. Women are actually that way, I would say by God's design, because they're looking 1.00
00:08:32.020 and boarding off and protecting children. So they have a very narrow domain. But that domain 1.00
00:08:37.840 is incredibly important it's the home it's vulnerable children so when your wife you know
00:08:42.820 the kid's not eating very well not sleeping great and she's kind of up worried that's not a bad 0.87
00:08:47.880 thing praise god for the women that do that and kind of have that that mama bear instinct so to
00:08:53.060 speak but you take that neuroticism good in the home good with children she's watching out she's 1.00
00:08:58.560 careful my wife is always you know going to the grocery store and stuff and she's like look out
00:09:02.280 for this person look out but you take that and you apply that too now take that negativity and
00:09:07.080 Now, you need to parse every man you'll potentially date through that.
00:09:10.000 You need to parse every relationship, everything he said, every disagreement you had, every
00:09:15.300 maybe he felt like he blew you off.
00:09:17.140 Now, you need to take that and look at it negatively and think the worst.
00:09:22.280 You would never find someone.
00:09:24.580 You literally, you could find a fault with the perfect man. 1.00
00:09:27.360 And so these women out here are telling the biggest women's podcast, hey, you need to 1.00
00:09:31.460 be 100%. 1.00
00:09:32.220 It's literally incompatible.
00:09:34.500 Yeah. And you can get into the situation where you're the granularity of distinctions between you and the person you're dating or the person you're seeking to marry is I don't he doesn't like the same shows as me. He doesn't like he doesn't like the same kind of music as me.
00:09:50.180 And so you get this, you know, this, uh, uh, majoring on the minors sort of situation in
00:09:56.280 dating where it's like, uh, you know, I, I, I, I need to, I need to like everything that this
00:10:03.700 person likes and, uh, they need to like more importantly for, for these kinds of women, 0.99
00:10:07.820 they need to like everything that I like. And, uh, anything short of that is me compromising. 0.61
00:10:13.340 Right. Yeah. A lot of women are looking for a woman. Uh, that's part of the problem. Um,
00:10:17.840 i think you know as this gal is speaking uh it's it's funny to me the irony because it's like
00:10:24.240 um what she's wanting and what she's kind of hinting at is what's sitting underneath a blanket
00:10:29.420 on the other side of the couch from her during the podcast like that's you know and and the
00:10:34.060 reality is that that's not um men are not women and uh and a lot of women have been so you know
00:10:40.840 they have the confirmation bias and so reinforced and reassured by women uh that it's it's this
00:10:46.780 unnatural interim period that we have in modern western civilization of leaving the household 0.82
00:10:54.860 leaving your father as a caretaker as a provider as as an authority and and someone who provides
00:11:02.080 guidance and then having this prolonged period of time that now is stretched this adolescence
00:11:07.260 has been perpetuated and stretched to not just five years but 10 years 15 years i mean you're
00:11:12.480 leaving the house for a lot of these young women at 18 years old and not getting married till 30.
00:11:17.680 And as we, you know, I've already discussed and we'll see more, half of them, you know, don't even 0.85
00:11:22.560 get married at the age of 44. But let's just say they get married at 30. That's still 12 years.
00:11:28.080 So who are you with for those 12 years? Who's shaping you? Who's reinforcing you? Who's guiding
00:11:33.060 you? Not a father and not a husband because you're not married yet. So who is it? It's other women.
00:11:39.720 and so you're you're being you're being programmed by other women in what you should be looking for
00:11:46.560 and how you should be thinking and what what a man you know who actually loves you would actually
00:11:51.160 look like and what he should be like and and all these things and it's just kind of reinforcing
00:11:57.720 and and notice it's you could say the same thing about men and say like well men go through this
00:12:03.340 you know same interim period where they leave the home you know before they're getting married so
00:12:06.880 they're leaving you know that that womanly touch of their mother but they haven't yet you know
00:12:11.600 taken a wife um yeah and uh and there are challenges and things that could be said about
00:12:17.940 that but uh it is not as uh it doesn't have as negative as of an impact and one of the reasons
00:12:23.440 why is because one difference between men and women is that uh men correct each other women
00:12:29.440 do not women reinforce each other affirm each other they affirm each other even when they're 0.91
00:12:34.220 doing stupid and retarded things so so in this situation for all we know um this guy was great 0.97
00:12:41.100 now i mean he probably wasn't great because a great guy wouldn't date this woman but 0.99
00:12:45.600 you get what i'm saying relatively speaking uh this guy could have been you know at least
00:12:51.420 at least morally better a better guy than than her it would have been a step up in her case
00:12:56.900 a good hard working committed man right and but immediately what's being said so as far as we 0.98
00:13:02.480 know she ruined a good thing she actually you know she could have gotten to the finish line she could 0.99
00:13:07.200 be married or planning a wedding now soon to be married uh get to be a mother all these kinds of 1.00
00:13:11.360 things and she blew it up as far as we know she ended the relationship and what is she immediately 1.00
00:13:16.860 told by another woman by one of her female friends this is so good for you like that's what women do 0.98
00:13:24.020 is they they incessantly worry about everything so what you were saying earlier west that's that's 0.98
00:13:29.000 true and a godly woman is going to fight against you know sinful worry right to be anxious for 0.99
00:13:34.480 nothing but with prayer and supplication to make her request known to the lord but she is going to 1.00
00:13:38.940 have that sick sense of that spidey sense of you know danger um because she's wired by god in in
00:13:46.180 her in her creation uh she's wired by god to be sensitive of dangers and threats in order to to 1.00
00:13:53.020 like a mother hen brood over the nest and protect her very vulnerable children that's that is her 1.00
00:13:59.320 domain that's her role that's her place um and so on the one hand women can be you know they can 1.00
00:14:05.100 have a tendency towards worry on the other hand though um because they do tend towards worry in 1.00
00:14:11.580 terms of their self analyzing um women have it's it's like this opposite effect it's this catch 22 0.97
00:14:18.180 so a woman will worry about herself incessantly did i do the right thing but then every woman 0.99
00:14:23.660 around her will will do the exact opposite where everything no matter how stupid of a decision that 0.99
00:14:30.480 woman just made every woman around her is is just silver lining silver lining silver lining so it 0.97
00:14:36.480 whether it's um i was about to get engaged to an incredible man and uh and i made the whole thing
00:14:42.980 blow up in his face and called it off i'm so happy for you you go girl she could have also said like 0.97
00:14:48.980 i got mad at my dog and i stabbed him in the heart with a knife and killed him and i guarantee this 1.00
00:14:55.260 woman sitting on the other side of the couch would analyze and be damn but you know what that's that 1.00
00:14:59.560 shows a lot of courage and a lot of bravery and you know that that's that's what women do especially 0.84
00:15:05.160 godless un-christian non-christian women and so i think you know to have this prolonged my point is 0.99
00:15:11.340 to have this prolonged period in between childhood being underneath the headship of their father 0.95
00:15:17.540 and then marriage, headship of a husband, for that to be 12 years in many cases. That's not
00:15:24.600 even an extreme case, 18 to 30 years old, over a decade where there's no real authority being
00:15:32.200 exercised and there's no male presence that's there. And it's just female peers who are just
00:15:38.880 is blind as you are the blind leading the blind reinforcing every one of your decisions no matter 1.00
00:15:45.340 how bad it is trying to somehow tweak it and twist it to where actually that's the best decision that 0.86
00:15:51.100 anyone's ever made and i'm so proud of you and i'm so happy for you um that is a terrible terrible
00:15:58.940 concoction those are the ingredients um for disaster yeah yeah you see them reaching the
00:16:05.760 same you know the wrong conclusion by consensus right uh right which is hey uh the more people
00:16:12.720 you date the more prepared you are for marriage and it's it's like well no that's actually precisely
00:16:19.020 the opposite of what men look for in wives um uh you know what young man is out there it's like
00:16:25.540 you lived with how many men previously that many awesome you were just shaped and molded into the
00:16:31.560 perfect spouse for me yeah yeah by 10 different men that you live in their homes right most men
00:16:36.860 and they should rightfully so they hate that like you need to hear that i don't want to be insensitive
00:16:41.960 to women that have a past before christ but practically speaking that advice like oh you
00:16:46.680 slept around and you lived cohabitated and you got close to divorce men hear that and they just think
00:16:52.440 of other men she's dated and been with she's less has less value practically honestly naturally
00:16:58.980 speaking, obviously as Christians there's an element of faith there, but practically speaking 0.92
00:17:02.920 if we're thinking about the institution of marriage, she's not elevating, not like her
00:17:06.740 co-host said, going through these experiences and learning more. She's decreasing her value
00:17:11.420 and even practically a big one is age. One of the saddest things, and Christian men do 1.00
00:17:16.180 this too, and if you're doing it, it's wrong, is they'll play in the middle ground for two 1.00
00:17:20.580 years. So they'll start dating a woman and they'll have fun, right? They'll go to Disneyland,
00:17:25.020 they'll go out to dinner but he'll never really commit to marrying her and so she's there and
00:17:29.800 she's 20 she's 25 she's 27 and she's she's like i want to have children i want to have a home i
00:17:36.320 really like you and she's asking him to commit so she's like are you going to propose you're
00:17:40.520 going to do this and he's always throwing up excuses well with my job and career or i just
00:17:45.440 really want to make sure men take this narrative i really want to make sure that she's the one
00:17:49.080 and i've known these women they'll go through a three-year relationship and at the very end of it
00:17:53.880 He goes, ah, I'm sorry.
00:17:55.060 I'm not ready to commit.
00:17:55.920 And she has to call it off.
00:17:57.400 But at that point, you have three years, two years, three years, four years, sunk into
00:18:02.600 a relationship.
00:18:03.200 And even if you weren't immoral, so say you weren't even immoral at all, practically speaking,
00:18:07.600 you just lost three years of your life as far as building a family, building a home,
00:18:11.880 having children.
00:18:12.740 That is a terrible, unloving thing to do to a sister in Christ.
00:18:17.120 If you're dating, the intention of it is it's not to hang out.
00:18:20.340 It's to aim towards marriage.
00:18:21.680 and none of that means it has to happen in two months but it certainly needs to happen at least
00:18:25.800 a commitment before two years because otherwise you are burning people's youth right yep you're
00:18:30.800 you're burning time and and it's precious uh for all of us because life is a fleeting vapor right
00:18:38.720 it's like the dew of the grass it's here today and gone by afternoon and so uh yeah so you know
00:18:44.980 momentum more, like remembering our death, that we must die. And so recognizing that we're finite,
00:18:53.000 recognizing that our lives are relatively short, that's true of both men and women, 0.97
00:18:56.740 but especially true, I think is what you're saying, Wes, in the case of women,
00:19:00.400 because when it comes to their strength and fertility, especially with childbearing and
00:19:04.700 these kinds of things, it is a very, very small window of life. And even not just childbearing,
00:19:12.740 but even child rearing uh my wife and i we talk about this all the time you know we're right in
00:19:17.320 the thick of it with five children you know all the way from seven to seven months and uh and so
00:19:23.720 we have five young children and uh and i'm constantly you know reminding her and she agrees
00:19:29.440 you know but uh reminding her that uh in the whole scheme of things in our lives it'll be like
00:19:35.200 between you know the oldest child to the youngest child um it'll probably be about 25 years you know
00:19:42.600 give or take that window of life. And if we each live to be 85 years old, even if we're 75,
00:19:47.660 it's only a third of your life having children in the home. And it's like one of the most precious
00:19:53.580 moments, seasons of life to have children in your home. And it's not like the vast majority of your
00:20:01.920 life. It's not even half of your life. It's a third at best of our already fleeting short lives.
00:20:09.200 and uh and so to postpone that um and and to put that on the back burner is absolutely um
00:20:17.280 foolish but but you're right uh the the idea of like well you're one step closer
00:20:21.800 statistically speaking um with each man that a woman dates she's one step further um she's one 0.97
00:20:29.700 step further in terms of her past uh and things that uh that men are that's not going to be viewed
00:20:35.820 as a virtue it's not going to be viewed as a positive but then also uh she's just she's just 0.91
00:20:40.460 now a little bit older um and so you just you know she's she's going to be less desirable at 30 0.86
00:20:47.500 um than she is at 23 yeah and uh and that's that's just the facts and biologically it's kind
00:20:55.700 of an uncomfortable fact but it's true the earlier a woman has children the easier that labor and
00:21:00.240 that pregnancy and her subsequent ones are and sometimes i'll lovingly challenge christian men
00:21:04.600 that have been married like two, three years, like even practically speaking there, like, well,
00:21:08.280 we're already married. We're living together. We're building a home. Yeah. But even as far as
00:21:13.480 children, God has put in biological reasons that a couple should come together. If you do nothing
00:21:17.980 to the process, you'll have children. And that in itself is it's easier. It's healthier. There's
00:21:23.000 less wear and tear on the body. So even practically God's built into nature, the order of it should be
00:21:28.360 to marry and ideally marry young, early twenties would be a great time. And then to bear children.
00:21:33.440 and that will make what happens later on all that more easier too that's not a mistake yeah and so 1.00
00:21:38.780 so like we think about what we're seeing societally is is a lack of commitment uh from women uh due to
00:21:46.760 hypergamy right wanting to find a mate who's you know to the up you know out and up from them right
00:21:54.180 so higher status male and we we there's that's well researched at this point that that's what 1.00
00:21:59.180 women want. And then on the, on the side of men, uh, what you see is also a lack of commitment
00:22:06.200 actually, but it's precisely because there's no forcing function for men to actually want to
00:22:10.560 enter into marriage, particularly for the high status men, because you can get, uh, sex outside
00:22:15.960 of marriage there. And so it's, it's there, there's nothing that tells a man, Hey, I ought to
00:22:21.640 commit to this woman, um, to get something that naturally I, I, I really want. Um, and so men,
00:22:28.420 for that reason aren't pressured into marriage uh you know socially and then women also because
00:22:35.320 you have this massive pool and you have dating apps and i mean it feels like they're you know
00:22:40.180 one's going defunct and another one's popping up in its place and so you have this massive
00:22:44.500 massive pool where women can say hey i'm in uh central texas i could date a man uh from dallas
00:22:50.600 or date a man from uh from houston and uh those men are available to me uh through the internet
00:22:56.360 And so why would I settle for this man that I know from high school?
00:23:00.700 That hypergamy point, it has to be parsed out.
00:23:03.340 When you look at dating apps, so they've triangulated who do women swipe right on.
00:23:07.460 That is, say, they would like to know more about who do men swipe right on. 0.86
00:23:11.140 80% of women, all of their 80% of your swipes, 80% of the attention, it's going to the top 0.98
00:23:17.080 20% of men.
00:23:18.160 So they're looking at men, like you said, Antonio, they make a lot of money. 0.51
00:23:21.280 And the thing about men, so women's fertility goes down over time.
00:23:24.360 a man's status honestly it gets better over time he's more successful if he's a good man
00:23:29.700 he's more successful in his career he has less of the youthful undisciplined whatever you want
00:23:35.640 to call it he's more disciplined typically he's going to be in better shape in his 30s than in
00:23:40.120 his early 20s so he's making more money he looks better he's more mature he has more gravitas
00:23:45.600 because that's what women are looking for women are practically vulnerable completely vulnerable
00:23:49.760 for nine months when they're pregnant so they need a man that's strong they need a man that
00:23:53.500 can provide they can man that can protect them and look after them when they first have the child 0.98
00:23:57.800 so women are looking for status but all of that status and when we do this like you said with 0.99
00:24:02.800 dating apps when we do it with when you stack people at just astronomical density into city 1.00
00:24:08.860 what you do is you say uh all right women you are biologically programmed to seek out high status 1.00
00:24:14.040 males and those 80 what they're doing is they're chasing the top echelon right and the bottom 80
00:24:19.680 percent of men we'll talk about this later on they're having to settle for the remaining 20 0.86
00:24:23.460 and practically speaking there's just not enough to go around and so it creates resentment women
00:24:29.140 are frustrated because those high value men are not committing to them they're like i'll give you
00:24:33.440 sex on the first date he's like yeah but i can get that from a lot of women and then there's a
00:24:38.060 bunch of men that like these women won't even give me a second look right and they both begin
00:24:42.080 to hate each other yeah that is definitely happening i i like what you said i don't like
00:24:47.360 it but it's important what you said um in terms of yeah a man's value if he's a good man and he's a
00:24:53.600 hard-working man he's reasonably gifted and intelligent you know certainly if he's a christian
00:24:58.720 man and a moral man um his value is actually increasing over time whereas the woman's value 0.96
00:25:05.200 is decreasing she has this clicking clock you know this ticking talk um it's you know the time 0.99
00:25:11.480 is like the hourglass the sand is running thin and just for you know all the christians who are
00:25:16.620 listening, when I say that her value is going down, I'm not speaking of the eternal, ultimate
00:25:21.500 spiritual sense. I'm not saying her value in the sight of God. I'm not saying her eternal value in
00:25:26.260 the weight of her soul. But I'm saying for the purpose of marriage, the conversation that we're
00:25:31.000 having at hand, for the purpose of marriage, the 40-year-old single woman is less desirable than 0.94
00:25:39.100 the 20-year-old single woman, in part because of her life, her fertility, her strength, her beauty.
00:25:46.620 all of those things, but then also because if she's 40 years old and single and having never
00:25:54.180 married, that also says something. It's like the single mom. There are some single moms who are
00:26:01.600 wonderful and Christian and love the Lord, but there is an immediate red flag, and the red flag
00:26:06.780 is what happened to the last guy? Why are you single? Did you have the children out of wedlock,
00:26:12.180 or did your husband run out on you and if he did run out on you is it because you're insufferable
00:26:18.080 you know like there's there naturally are those questions and it's not just that that's
00:26:22.340 natural um but i think it's even wise you know i i've counseled christian men who are considering
00:26:28.360 marrying a single mother and um and that's part of the counsel that i give i don't say that they
00:26:34.340 shouldn't in an objective sense um across the board but but i do say well let's let's sit for
00:26:41.520 a moment. Let's think. Let's pray. I'm going to go talk to her. Let's find out why she's a single
00:26:47.540 mother. And then if it's because of sin, let's find out, is there genuine repentance? And who 0.96
00:26:56.620 can vouch for her? Who can say, I've seen her. She's not the same woman that she once was. She's
00:27:02.080 changed. It's been X many years, these two years or three years. She's been faithfully going to
00:27:07.400 church. She's repented of being a raging feminist, you know, that drove her past husband away or 1.00
00:27:14.780 this, that, and the other. But these are things that have to be considered. So if a woman is older
00:27:19.000 for the purpose of marriage, she is less desirable. If she is a single mother, again, for a man who is 0.98
00:27:27.900 looking at her as a potential suitor, she is less desirable. And those are not things that are,
00:27:35.200 just for the record that's not immoral it's not oh well men are pigs uh that's that's so uh that's 0.93
00:27:41.460 so vain no the bible says rejoice in the wife of your youth always the bible actually assumes 0.96
00:27:48.480 and esteems um marrying a young graceful doe marrying a woman who is in the prime of her youth
00:27:58.500 that is filled with life and fertility, who is beautiful. The Bible glorifies this. The Bible
00:28:10.620 doesn't say, that's vain. Every godly man, if he was really godly, he should be shopping for 300
00:28:16.720 pound, you know, 40 year old single moms. That is not a biblical teaching. And there's a lot of 1.00
00:28:22.960 pietistic Christians who want to kind of act like it is, you know, that basically, well, if you were 0.97
00:28:27.120 more godly then you'd go marry that hag no that's that's not what the bible teaches it is perfectly 0.91
00:28:33.660 permissible and not only permissible but i think even right rightly directed uh that a godly man 0.99
00:28:40.580 in his godliness not not not away from his godliness but through his godliness would be
00:28:46.480 seeking a young beautiful non-feminist submissive joyful wife that free virgin with without tattoo
00:28:57.560 Yeah, those would be good qualities to look for.
00:28:59.880 We talked about it in an episode a couple months ago.
00:29:02.320 The glory of young men is their strength.
00:29:04.120 Both men and women in their youth have strength for men and beauty for women.
00:29:07.520 And the goal of both of them is to exhaust physical beauty, physical strength,
00:29:11.360 but for the spiritual qualities of the spiritual beauty
00:29:14.120 and of spiritual strength to take place later in life.
00:29:16.780 A man will not be able to maintain a 400-pound bench into his 80s. 0.71
00:29:21.420 And a woman will not be a magazine model into her 80s. 0.96
00:29:24.560 Both of them are fleeting and both of them will go away.
00:29:26.640 But for the Christian, they take those qualities, beauty and youth and vigor, and they transform it into children and a beautiful home and a happy husband.
00:29:35.880 The husband takes his strength and he builds a home.
00:29:38.760 Now, both of those physical ones go away, but they're replaced by the virtue.
00:29:42.960 And so when you talk about youth, like, guys, this is how God made the world.
00:29:47.360 Practically, like men can sire children into their 70s.
00:29:50.460 Women can bear them till about 45. 0.87
00:29:52.560 That's how God made the world. 1.00
00:29:53.740 He chose to do that.
00:29:54.940 that's his design design you don't get to be mad at it you can be mad at well you can be mad at us
00:30:01.580 for pointing that out but practically all we're doing is pointing out this is how god has arranged
00:30:06.020 men and women made them differently yeah how to function yeah and what you what you see falling
00:30:11.400 apart is this idea of uh i mean it's fault it's falling apart by now actually but uh there's this
00:30:17.520 idea of like marriage as an investment on you know a mutual investment on both parts right
00:30:24.680 especially in your youth right a man marries a woman at let's assume they get married at 21 20
00:30:30.900 he marries a woman at her peak as it relates to her physical beauty she actually marries him sort
00:30:38.900 of at at the start right of his potential right and so he's investing in her saying hey you actually
00:30:45.420 are incredibly valuable right now as it relates to your physical beauty and over time that will
00:30:51.040 actually diminish but i'm investing in your roles you know but your spiritual growth your role as a
00:30:56.820 mother and your ability to bear us children and the woman is actually making the investment in
00:31:02.680 the man in terms of his future financial output right his uh ability to protect uh as he learns
00:31:10.080 what it is to be a man you think about you where you were at 20 years old there's so many things
00:31:14.640 you don't know how do you govern a household how do you provide for your family how do you plan
00:31:19.740 financially in the long term. And all of these things, a man at 20 years old, as he enters into
00:31:25.200 marriage, doesn't have figured out. And the woman is saying, despite those things, I'm investing in
00:31:29.260 you and together we'll grow and make something that collectively we benefit from. And now it's
00:31:36.000 the opposite, right? Now it's actually, let me realize my full potential now. Let me actualize
00:31:43.080 that and reap the benefits myself. And then once I've reaped the benefits, a man living single, 0.94
00:31:49.020 working until he's 30 and making, living as a bachelor, making a lot of money, having a great
00:31:53.580 life, traveling all over the world, women doing the same thing, focusing on her career. Oh, now 0.87
00:31:58.400 I've, I've expended all the potential of my twenties and I've reaped the benefits myself.
00:32:03.640 Now let's go find a partner. That's right. Let's go to our first commercial break. We'll be back
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00:34:45.560 Well, welcome back.
00:34:47.840 The reason we pulled that clip out, that's not necessarily from just this past week,
00:34:52.080 was there was a New York Times article titled,
00:34:54.560 Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back.
00:34:57.140 And if we could get anything across in this second segment,
00:34:59.560 it's to recognize that the gap in the dating market, it's not improving.
00:35:03.200 We already discussed, hey, you're going out there, you're trying to date,
00:35:06.160 you're trying to find a good godly woman.
00:35:08.280 You are facing a much greater battle, a much more difficult climb than your grandfather is.
00:35:13.280 Your grandfather lived in a town that had socials, that had events, that had reasons
00:35:18.340 to mingle together.
00:35:19.520 They probably met someone very early on in their 20s.
00:35:21.960 Many men, they're like, I'm 30.
00:35:23.900 Am I dating option?
00:35:25.020 It's kind of older than that.
00:35:26.720 So we've kind of already established that.
00:35:28.280 And the point is, it's not getting better. 1.00
00:35:29.900 And even women, they're really coming to realize, holy cow, we drove men out of the 0.99
00:35:35.500 market. 0.98
00:35:35.880 We set the standards too high.
00:35:37.420 And they actually left.
00:35:38.800 We took it for granted.
00:35:39.760 There would always be a Chris Hemsworth around every corner, a Chris Evans in the waiting
00:35:43.260 it turns out they're not. And men are actually, men are, they do better with being single and
00:35:49.840 alone than women do, to be honest. Like practically women struggle much more with that. They're
00:35:54.900 innately designed to companionship, to a home and to children. Men, obviously they're, a good man
00:36:01.680 is oriented towards that as well. But there's a lot of men that are, they just have a lot of
00:36:05.700 solitude and they like to think and they like to build and they like to study. And so it's women 0.99
00:36:10.760 especially suffering and to illustrate it let me just read this quote here from the new york times
00:36:15.720 and it's again the article is called men where have you gone please come back and this is a woman
00:36:20.440 who's 54 years old and she's divorced and she says this it's not about blaming men it's about
00:36:25.640 noticing the imbalance about grieving what's not beating us and about refusing to dress it up
00:36:31.000 as personal failure when it's actually a collective reality so here's what i'll say
00:36:35.880 You are missed, not just by me, but by the world you once helped shape. 1.00
00:36:40.820 This woman is a radical feminist. 0.58
00:36:43.640 And even she.
00:36:44.480 And even she is saying, I'm trying to find a man to date.
00:36:48.840 I'm trying to find a man to build a life with.
00:36:51.260 And you're gone.
00:36:52.100 She observes that.
00:36:52.840 She goes to dinner and is like, there's only about one or two other couples here. 0.73
00:36:56.560 It's women with their girlfriends.
00:36:58.160 It's guys out for happy hour.
00:37:00.220 And it's about two couples left that are actually men and women trying to make something work.
00:37:04.760 let me transition a little bit to the statistics side of things over half of single women said
00:37:12.620 they believe that they were happier than their married counterparts so single women are like
00:37:17.100 i'm happier in a 2024 study of 5800 adults just over a third of surveyed single men said the same
00:37:24.300 so at least in this study you have men saying like we're not doing as hot compared to single women
00:37:28.880 A 2022 Pew survey of single adults showed only 34% of married women, of single women, were looking for romance, compared with 54% of single men, down from 38% and 61% in 2019.
00:37:44.000 So even less women than six years ago, or five years ago, it was actually three years, 2022 to 2019, women are seeking a relationship less.
00:37:53.160 so 34 of single women were looking for romance uh in what in 2022 in 2022 but it previously had
00:38:02.260 been 38 in 2019 so down one percent it was in 2019 had previously been 61 and then it dropped
00:38:09.880 to 54 in 2022 and listen to this this is this is a sad statistic men were also more likely than
00:38:16.400 women to say that they were worried that nobody would want to date them you have here this is uh
00:38:22.700 A record high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married.
00:38:26.860 As of 2021, 25% of 4-year-olds, 25% have never been married.
00:38:33.980 So this is not your divorcees are not included in this.
00:38:36.720 This was a significant increase from 20% in 2010.
00:38:41.460 So in 11 years, 5% more 40-year-olds would count as having never been married,
00:38:47.460 according to new Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data.
00:38:50.880 we already touched on it a lot of factors contributing that hoflation's one of them
00:38:55.980 it's off the charts it's bad yeah but one final one we we addressed it in the cold open but 1.00
00:39:01.800 back in this was 20 2019 morgan stanley 45 percent of women to be single and childless
00:39:10.260 by 2030 now again that's ages 25 to 44 yeah this is we're not just talking about 18 year olds 25
00:39:18.080 to 44 year old women 45 of that almost half of the women who are 25 to 44 years old will have
00:39:25.960 never been married and have no children and then that's in terms of biologically speaking that is
00:39:32.400 past the point of them being able to ever have children right practically speaking so you have
00:39:38.200 a fertility crisis we talked about this a couple weeks ago people are not having children people
00:39:42.140 are not getting married specifically women less women are seeking to be married this is what a
00:39:47.600 culture in suicide looks like yeah a culture unwilling to love unwilling to risk there's one
00:39:52.560 final piece that i want to pull up here and this is interesting this is from a local uh ask men
00:39:56.920 advice this is on reddit so a cesspool of libs so take it with a grain of salt but listen to this
00:40:01.700 this is interesting the the topic the post the title is why do you think men are not attending
00:40:06.140 dating events in my area the poster said so i'm curious to get your take on this i've been
00:40:10.900 following and sometimes attending some very cool well organized and earnest in-person dating events
00:40:15.640 in my area they seem to have a common problem the women's tickets will quickly sell out and there
00:40:20.380 will be a hundred women on the waiting list but they can't sell all of the men's tickets so what's
00:40:24.860 going on here seems to be more of a problem with the 40 plus age group but only by a little are men
00:40:29.380 not on social media so they don't know about them are men more disillusioned what gives
00:40:34.240 you have men too they're just and I spoke about I said uh like they're not willing to pursue love
00:40:42.040 take a risk dating events like this there's a really good post that we were reading earlier
00:40:46.060 it's it's it's the antithesis to how men typically pursue achievement well you come in and you sign
00:40:54.140 your name tag and you get your little name tag written down and you have three minutes it's all
00:40:58.440 structured it's very actually feminine right it's organized it's structured it's well managed it's
00:41:03.700 it's designed to be non-offensive you just privately say like oh i don't want to match with
00:41:07.320 this person or i don't want to match with this person and what we have done is we have crushed 0.97
00:41:11.320 the soul of a people the soul of a people their desire to build a society to find a woman to build
00:41:17.760 a home like practically speaking even just going to housing like how many men are like oh the dream
00:41:22.540 let me tell you what 700 square foot condo and in downtown denver all you can eat door dash around 0.83
00:41:29.100 me and a gal to share it with nobody fights for that they work dead-end jobs have terrible housing 1.00
00:41:36.040 options. In a world where inflation has destroyed your income potential, the women are all practically 1.00
00:41:41.860 prostitutes. Yeah, that's a society with no life and vigor and energy. Yeah, somebody in the comments 1.00
00:41:48.100 had a good point. Sparty Buck, he said, it's the dispensational boomers that have told their kids
00:41:55.320 to wait to marry. That is absolutely true. Obviously, it's not every boomer, but it is true 1.00
00:42:02.460 that boomers are really one of the first generations in american history that in mass
00:42:08.960 gave the strong counsel for their children not to get married you know too soon what what they
00:42:18.200 perceived as being too soon i've heard a lot of people in their 60s and 70s who said you know who
00:42:26.800 just in passing they'll say it still even like with no recognition that that was not necessarily
00:42:31.520 good thing they'll say it as a point of pride you know we really encouraged our daughter we
00:42:35.460 really encouraged our son you know not to get not to settle down too quickly not to get married you
00:42:40.580 know uh right out of right out of college you know but to wait until he's 30 you know or something
00:42:45.380 like that yeah and if they do get married wait a couple years to settle down and have kids go
00:42:49.880 travel yeah and that's pretty consistent i think with like the if you think about the the themes
00:42:57.660 of the boomer generation one of the main ones was actually consumerism in the commodity you know
00:43:03.760 the commodification of things and i think uh you know what we what we saw in the boomer generation
00:43:08.880 this definitely spilled over into gen x as well is well i had to sit in a marriage that wasn't
00:43:16.440 perfect there was a shinier woman there was a a shinier set of circumstances that were available
00:43:22.820 to me but i had to settle and i don't want that for my children i don't want them to have to
00:43:27.580 settle. And so my advice to them is, Hey, find the perfect person and don't be like me who had to
00:43:33.220 sit in this unhappy marriage. Um, which the point that I'm making there is that
00:43:38.300 this, this indicates that the concept of marriage actually has fallen, had fallen, uh, apart long
00:43:45.480 before 2020, long before 2018 and 19. And some of these statistics we're looking at, um, this is,
00:43:51.760 this is a downstream consequence of an improper view of marriage that existed in America in the
00:43:56.960 60s and in the west in the 70s and um and uh and and really it goes back to some of the same things
00:44:03.000 themes that we were looking at and we're hearing in the caller daddy video which is um there's
00:44:08.860 there's someone that's perfect for you in the same way that there's a nicer car and there's a nicer
00:44:14.420 home that you could live in boomer there's there was a woman that was better for you as well 0.51
00:44:18.740 and you hear that a lot from boomers as they they talk about their marriages still
00:44:22.660 i mean i'm familiar personally with several marriages where you know people would say
00:44:27.780 yeah um it it is what it is this is this is my marriage um wasn't wasn't the happiest life that
00:44:34.740 i could have had um but but that's what i had and how much did tv and social media just expose
00:44:40.720 people to maybe i don't want to say other options but just make them jealous like a sight envy
00:44:47.620 precisely so if you're a young man and and let's say i don't even know like the baby weight it's
00:44:52.720 not coming off your wife is not as attractive as she was well if you're on instagram or you're on
00:44:56.780 x then you're exposed to a litany even if you don't follow those pages and you're carefully
00:45:01.560 curated you guard your eyes you're still practically going to see a couple dozen women a day that are
00:45:07.380 young and attractive and practically speaking it would be very hard not to and with the boomers 0.71
00:45:12.860 you could say with TV and it was with all the television and shows and media by commercializing 0.58
00:45:18.960 everything and using like sex sells attractive people like that's who you want in your branding 0.56
00:45:23.480 by doing so you kind of broadcasted to at least two generations at this point like oh your spouse
00:45:29.520 is not that great but don't worry there's hotter people just around the corner and man that kind
00:45:34.380 of sucks that you're stuck with x and y and z same thing with a house same thing with a car
00:45:38.640 like you need to be living this type of life and you need to be doing that and uh and then 0.97
00:45:42.800 comparison the thief of joy and uh and so then they had a bad marriage because they always sit
00:45:47.780 there and like man my husband is 100 pounds overweight and makes nothing at his job and i'm
00:45:53.900 stuck with him and i see i see my facebook friend from high school i see their marriage and they're
00:45:58.480 doing great i see here him and her and this and uh to your point i think that robbed a lot of joy
00:46:04.280 out of marriages and they pass that down they're like no no no son you wait you find a great woman
00:46:09.440 and now we we see the end of it right is men saying okay i'll wait i'll wait i'll wait you
00:46:15.620 know how many times you show up at the pickup basketball court and you don't get picked before
00:46:19.600 you just say i'm not gonna go anymore right i'm just standing on the sidelines um and i think
00:46:24.900 that's that's the end of of this kind of uh rhetoric and an approach to dating and marriage
00:46:30.100 right uh back to that reddit uh comment which reddit is as we all know um reddit is just the
00:46:38.660 the seedbed of the worst people alive in all the world uh it's funny how a left-wing space like
00:46:47.200 reddit is one of the most heavily moderated sites in the internet and x and twitter is very much so
00:46:52.640 not too heavily moderated still to some degree and it is a very right-wing site funny how that
00:46:57.680 works isn't it yep yep the one that's moderated is leftist um yeah so the comment that was that
00:47:04.180 we read just previously on uh reddit uh said like you know i'm going to all these singles events and
00:47:10.260 the the problem is you know women will sign up and there'll be you know 100 women on a waiting
00:47:14.800 list you know but the men don't come and you know i was just thinking about like you know even with
00:47:19.900 our conference that we held you know a couple months ago we did a singles mixer and um that
00:47:24.900 is not the problem that we have in fact we we have to do the opposite so you know with our
00:47:29.460 singles mixer we charge the men fifty dollars because we'll have uh we even with charging
00:47:34.660 fifty dollars we have way too many and we uh we charge the women one dollar um because we know
00:47:41.760 that in right-wing spaces both politically and religiously across the board uh in every single 0.90
00:47:49.340 element of society in right-wing spaces whether it's the church or whether it's a conference
00:47:54.700 or whether it's a political rally um the men are there the women are not and so my point is
00:48:01.300 if you take our experience with our conference uh we had to turn away uh lots of men and charge
00:48:07.800 them fifty dollars to try to weed out some um and then basically you know like barely got enough
00:48:14.980 women um at one dollar instead of fifty dollars to sign up and then you compare that with this
00:48:20.280 reddit comment which is a left-wing you know social media site and they're saying you know
00:48:24.080 i'm going to these dating events and it's all women and no men we have a a singles mixer and
00:48:29.720 it's all men and it's hard to get women and so my point is i think there are still men and women
00:48:34.940 out there right i mean the statistics haven't changed much it's still roughly 50 50 50 percent 0.56
00:48:40.200 men 50 percent women and um we don't have polygamy in the country you know so it's not like 1.00
00:48:45.920 you know like if if with all the muslims here you think that's not happening yeah it's well maybe 0.98
00:48:50.520 it's it's not happened yet um so it's not as though you know that like one man has three wives 0.87
00:48:55.500 so you know if there's roughly the same you know similar amount of women as there are men
00:49:00.940 50 you know it's like 51 49 um and each person can only marry one spouse of the opposite sex
00:49:09.380 then you should have roughly the same number of single men as you have women and so what i'm what
00:49:15.660 i'm saying is that there are single men and there are single women and they're showing up to find a
00:49:21.700 spouse but in two different places the women are showing up in leftist spaces and yes i'm talking
00:49:29.500 about uh your reddit dating event and the gospel coalition conference i'm talking about both the
00:49:36.600 men are showing up in right-wing spaces and i i just i want to be truthful here um that uh that
00:49:43.140 includes new christian conference and right response conference but in on the whole the lion
00:49:50.220 share uh that includes um a lot of catholic and eastern orthodox churches like where can i find
00:49:56.880 if a woman's asking but where where can i find um a good uh high caliber productive ambitious
00:50:05.940 virtuous young man um well you're probably actually not going to find him at uh at your
00:50:14.580 reddit event um but you will find him at the catholic church you will find him at that eastern
00:50:22.020 orthodox church and you will find him at some of the few um right-wing coded um truly conservative
00:50:30.360 masculine protestant events like our conference um our we do not have that problem there's just
00:50:37.060 too many women and not enough men even just compare the opposite problem very well managed
00:50:41.240 the reddit one managed timed perfectly marketed the men's conference we at the end literally did
00:50:47.480 like a lifting competition people are throwing up on the field dying as they try to run a mile
00:50:51.760 so it's the men's one it's masculine it's not perfectly planned out and curated like again
00:50:57.840 that speaks to the dynamic men demand hierarchy men demand competition men demand status men want
00:51:03.980 to make something of themselves women want things to be safe and perfect and organized and fair
00:51:09.580 yeah fair equal equality yeah so i if if you're a woman who's listening to this which there aren't
00:51:15.900 that many i think we're like 87 you know male listenership but if you're a woman who's listening
00:51:21.960 to this and you want to get married and you want to marry a high caliber virtuous man then you're
00:51:29.500 going to need to go to right-wing spaces because that's where young single men are young single
00:51:36.980 men are abandoning the left you can see you know we've talked about this in previous episodes and
00:51:41.980 shown the graphs and statistics of men are abandoning the in mass young single men abandoning
00:51:48.620 the democrat party abandoning um all the tenets of leftism and liberalism and these kinds of things
00:51:54.460 and they are becoming uh right wing because they realize that leftism sold them a bill of goods
00:51:59.680 and ultimately hates them and uh and has no future no opportunity and nothing for them
00:52:05.060 and so if you're a woman who's trying to get married um you need to follow the men you need
00:52:12.320 to follow especially the men who are it's it's worth following them one because that's where
00:52:16.760 you'll find a spouse, but two, because they're right and you're wrong. They're right and you're
00:52:21.960 wrong. The men are actually adopting views that are more aligned with scripture. And women,
00:52:34.420 young single women, in large part, still haven't. They still haven't. And you can see the divide.
00:52:40.660 it you know you can track all the way back from like you know the last 50 years of the voting
00:52:46.020 patterns of men and women um and and single men and women and they usually kind of follow each
00:52:52.840 other and there was a time where like men were uh more liberal um and then you know it kind of
00:52:58.920 shifts and now it's like you see the two lines of single men and single women and the men one is
00:53:04.680 just trending up towards being more right wing and the woman one and it's actually uh right now
00:53:10.580 currently in the last 50 years we have the widest gap politically so this is just politics but it
00:53:16.380 translates i think to culture religion these things as well you have the widest gap between
00:53:20.540 single men and single women in terms of their political views the widest gap um in 50 years
00:53:27.960 here in america and then other nations uh they're like south korea it's actually even more
00:53:32.720 extreme the gap is massive between young korean single men being right wing and young korean
00:53:40.860 single women being left coated and so i think that's a big part of the problem it's not just
00:53:46.360 that the men aren't showing up i think part of the question that you have to raise with that
00:53:50.720 is showing up where there are still single men and they are still showing up somewhere
00:53:55.780 but they're no longer showing up at your your lib fest that's that's not where they are they're
00:54:02.160 waking up they're not showing up to the liberal uh dating event because they're waking up uh to
00:54:07.820 to reality and and to god's truth and uh and i think um if if women find that icky
00:54:16.240 um then women will die alone so um all right that's the that is the framing if men and women
00:54:25.660 don't figure it out scores of them half of them they will die alone our fertility crisis will
00:54:31.740 we'll reach the point where our population will decline you'll struggle to staff well we'll be
00:54:36.400 replaced by robots but right struggle to staff a lot of enterprises because people haven't had
00:54:40.740 children to fill it you literally witness the death of a civilization from its arts from its
00:54:45.060 culture from its creativity even its military and its will to live and i don't think practically 0.99
00:54:50.380 i don't think you get there uh without a large-scale exodus of women from the workforce 0.98
00:54:55.900 it's probably not going to be organic organically women aren't just going to wake up and decide
00:55:00.680 en masse 80 of us we're going back to our home even if we have to downsize i'm going to go back 0.95
00:55:05.700 i'm going to take care of it i'm going to care for my husband i'm going to care for my children
00:55:08.720 i'm going to pull them out of out of daycare i'll be honest guys i don't practically see organically
00:55:12.800 how that happens but i don't think without that happening uh that the relationship gets better
00:55:17.340 at all yeah any thoughts yeah i mean and just on that point like uh from what i understand from
00:55:25.100 i think even republican tax tax bills have done this is subsidizing uh daycare and so you talk
00:55:32.680 about economic incentives it's like uh that that those kinds of things work in the opposite 1.00
00:55:38.780 direction they make it make sense for women to be in the workforce because daycare isn't all that
00:55:44.500 expensive right and so um like when you talk about policies and different things like that that have
00:55:50.100 brought women into the workforce um to everyone's detriment uh it's it's things like that that we
00:55:55.520 can look at and say oh that was in the uh you know the 2017 you know tax cuts and jobs act and uh
00:56:01.820 and republicans support that so uh that i think waking up to some of those very particular policies
00:56:08.020 that have been put in place even recently uh will be important um to to draw back if you can
00:56:15.200 legislate it one way though the encouraging thing is you could legislate it the other way so if you
00:56:19.020 legislated lots of daycare lots of perks lots of family leave turns out by taking those away
00:56:23.580 people say hey i can't afford daycare like literally there comes a certain point i saw
00:56:27.580 someone she said uh pay six thousand dollars a month for daycare in seattle wow like if you're
00:56:31.720 making eight thousand dollars a month at a certain point it literally is just i literally could just
00:56:35.580 stay home and free daycare imagine that right unless it's subsidized by the federal government
00:56:40.320 and then and then you know really the confounding variable is when men are being left behind not
00:56:45.920 only uh you know culturally which is absolutely true but also economically right women are more
00:56:51.740 likely to graduate college more likely to achieve a master's degree and a phd now than than men are 1.00
00:56:57.940 so even at the higher income you know tax brackets women are are increasingly filling those um and so 1.00
00:57:05.700 even you think about like daycare subsidies you know subsidizing daycare like a practical
00:57:11.260 consequence of taking that away could actually be men are staying home because they're actually
00:57:15.860 the lesser owners. I should say, they make less income than their wives. And so there's all sorts 0.80
00:57:26.580 of things where we've really gotten ourselves in a pinch here in the West on this front.
00:57:32.040 Yep. Duke Mysterian, he said, I think he's right. And I've mentioned this before,
00:57:38.200 but I want to mention it again. He said, women conform to whoever is in power, 1.00
00:57:42.120 not to christian alphas and he's right um women for women uh consensus matters uh women are
00:57:50.300 uh i think much more um conformed and vulnerable influenceable um to uh the you know consensus of
00:57:59.680 society as a whole but what will people think right what will uh is this popular what will
00:58:05.580 the majority say and uh the majority for women um in many ways sets the authority um especially
00:58:13.520 in our context which is a democracy which i despise but um but that's where we're at and so
00:58:19.720 my point is this um men tend to have for better or for worse you know the the the you know double
00:58:26.120 sided coin right it's a two-edged sword so on the one side it's um ambition it's uh it's zeal it's
00:58:33.380 it's having a risk threshold, you know, risk tolerance, those kinds of things that lend
00:58:40.680 towards entrepreneurship, that lends towards courage and leadership and these kinds of things.
00:58:44.980 On the flip side, we could call it rebellion. I think men have a higher tendency to rebel against
00:58:52.160 authority is what I'm saying. Women have a higher tendency to submit to authority. And 0.99
00:58:58.380 ultimately, I think that a lot of that is not, I'm not even saying it's bad. I think that's
00:59:02.620 part of God's design. The woman tends to be her, you know, her propensity, natural propensity is 1.00
00:59:10.020 to be more amicable, to go along, to get along, to go with the majority, to go with whoever is in
00:59:16.960 power, whoever is in authority, where men, especially young men, until they're not their
00:59:24.520 will broken, but shaped and harnessed, strength harnessed, under control, still strong, in fact
00:59:30.160 stronger, but under control, being able to focus and target that strength. But until that happens
00:59:37.960 with maturity and time, men tend to be more rebellious towards authority. So women naturally 0.99
00:59:44.160 being more submissive to authority and men being more rebellious towards authority. And I remember
00:59:50.260 thinking, you know, initially thinking, well, maybe, but not anymore because of feminism. And
00:59:55.980 And so now, you know, women, they hate the word submission, you know, and that's true. 0.81
01:00:00.480 They do hate the word.
01:00:01.600 But here's the reality. 1.00
01:00:03.020 Funny enough, women still submit. 1.00
01:00:05.900 The only difference is that the authority has shifted. 1.00
01:00:09.460 The authority has changed.
01:00:12.620 So if you go back, you know, 50 years ago or even just 30 years ago, we would talk about
01:00:17.880 the epidemic of men leaving the church, right?
01:00:20.080 Men are leaving the church in mass, you know, to watch football or to go fishing or whatever.
01:00:25.000 they don't want to be in church. And so you got all these women and children in church,
01:00:29.800 but the husbands are gone. Well, the reigning dogma, the orthodoxy, lowercase o, orthodoxy of
01:00:37.300 the day was still at some level religion, the Christian religion. And men are bucking against
01:00:43.760 that with that natural tendency to rebel against authority. Now you see women are actually, young
01:00:50.080 single women are leaving the church in mass and men are returning to it. And I think part of that
01:00:54.420 is the total regime change um politically culturally spiritually speaking in our country
01:01:00.180 that now uh that that leftists leftism has has had basically almost a total takeover
01:01:07.440 um it does seem like there's a little bit of hope um on the horizon uh but uh you look at from you
01:01:14.500 know 2010 you know i mean and obviously earlier but but and it being so blatant 2010 all the way
01:01:22.100 to like 2024 and you know 2020 and 2021 and 2022 kind of being a high watermark for the left
01:01:30.360 it was a near total takeover you're talking about all of academia you're talking about all the media
01:01:35.840 you're talking about all of corporate america all of politics the white house you know everything
01:01:41.240 was leftism and so the reigning dogma the reigning authority was left coded and and so then now what
01:01:50.140 are you seeing once that total regime takeover of the the the switch of authority has happened
01:01:57.540 now you see young men bucking against that saying oh that's the authority well i'm going to be right
01:02:02.340 wing right that's the authority uh well i'm gonna you know i'm gonna start listening to alex jones
01:02:08.540 you know or i'm gonna go to this trump rally or i'm gonna you know whatever uh i'm gonna oh uh
01:02:13.100 the the authority is anti-church i'm gonna start going to church and then they want to find what
01:02:18.800 They want to find, like, the most traditional, oldest, you know, church they can find.
01:02:24.200 Like, you know, the theology at some level is irrelevant, and I'm not saying that men
01:02:28.240 aren't genuinely persuaded.
01:02:29.660 I understand in the comments, young men will say, no, no, no, I was persuaded by this argument
01:02:34.540 of this church father, whatever, and sure, I believe you, but I think it also has to
01:02:39.660 do, so maybe it's, you know, maybe it's not, you know, as a substitute to that, but in
01:02:43.720 addition i think you know young men are like okay so everything it's relativism is reigning supreme
01:02:49.580 leftism is reigning supreme uh humanist secularism um anti-tradition modernity everything you know
01:02:58.280 is just modern and new and novel so i'm gonna go to church and which church am i gonna go to i'm
01:03:03.960 gonna go to this uh this old cathedral with robes and tassels and incense and stained glass and you
01:03:11.140 know we'll throw in a few images you know for good measure i'd like some statues over here some
01:03:15.600 statues over there um i want to hear gregorian chants i want to you know like i want i want old
01:03:21.420 um because the regime the authority is new the the authority is relativism so they want
01:03:28.440 transcendence and objectivity the the it's modernity so they want tradition the the authority
01:03:35.040 the the regime is anti-religion so they want religion it's leftist so they want right wing 1.00
01:03:40.580 um whereas women here's here's my point the irony is that all these feminist women 1.00
01:03:45.360 it's not that the heart of feminism is that they're rebelling against authority 0.99
01:03:50.220 um they're actually submitting to authority and the authority is telling them to be feminist 0.87
01:03:55.580 and so they are and so they are so right now what you have is you actually have a switch
01:04:01.180 um whereas again 30 40 50 years ago men were leaving the church and there was still this
01:04:07.140 hangover of this authority and dogma of church is good, Christianity is good, tradition is good.
01:04:14.200 So women were submitting to authority and being in church. Men were kicking against the goads 0.92
01:04:19.660 and leaving, exiting the church. Now you have the reverse effect. Men are coming back to church,
01:04:25.520 women are leaving the church. And I think one of the determining factors is the switch of the
01:04:30.320 authority. So women are actually not really changing in their ontology, in the way that 0.57
01:04:38.220 they've been wired by God. What are they doing at the end of the day? They're raging against the 1.00
01:04:41.820 machine. They're being an individual. They're being unique. Nope. Women are doing what women
01:04:47.160 have always done. They're submitting to authority. It's what they do. They're submitting to authority. 1.00
01:04:54.280 The problem is that the authority was hijacked, fully taken over, a full hostile takeover by anti-religion, anti-tradition, a bunch of communists.
01:05:07.480 And so women are actually submitting to authority by submitting to communism, submitting to leftism, all those kinds of things.
01:05:14.560 And men are coming back to the church.
01:05:17.180 And it's just kind of this musical chairs and we're just swapping.
01:05:20.320 But my point is that they keep missing each other. 0.98
01:05:22.560 they just they keep missing each other the women are in this space looking for men
01:05:26.740 and the men are in this space looking for women and currently right now i think women
01:05:31.840 on the whole are in the wrong space left-coded spaces and men are in a good space right-coded
01:05:37.480 spaces but a big part of it for me comes down to um some of those things i think are innate and
01:05:43.240 you're not going to be able to change to me a lot of it comes down to the system of this this
01:05:48.040 prolonged interim period where men and women young single men and women are are just on their
01:05:55.120 own in adolescence perpetuated um and in some cases tragically indefinitely i think like the
01:06:02.360 only way to really fix it um is is to that women would go from one head to another from a father
01:06:11.580 to a husband uh that they would get married young and until they're married that they would still
01:06:17.140 stay under their father's authority um and and honestly it's back to what you said wes so like
01:06:23.960 how does that how do you how do you get rid of this this on average 12 year interim period of
01:06:29.640 a woman who's 18 and leaves her father but doesn't join a husband until she's 30 how do you get rid
01:06:35.160 of that uh well historically the way you got rid of that is there would be nowhere for her to go 0.99
01:06:40.440 in between right there's there's no there's no uh women in college what's that women in the
01:06:48.840 workforce come again yeah what do you mean like at home what do you what do you mean women in the
01:06:54.040 workforce you mean like working at home working at home cooking cows cooking yeah okay yeah that
01:06:59.340 like um no like what that that's you know like but you've got even the the alleged conservatives i
01:07:05.720 saw like tp usa doing a women's leadership summit women's leadership and complete with former only
01:07:13.800 fans models yes you know seriously with a former only fans model uh being one of the speakers i
01:07:19.580 remember seeing that and you know retweeting and saying women's leadership um is just like
01:07:23.880 where women get together and and they're told who leaders are and and so it's like a conference
01:07:30.680 about husbands and fathers you know and like you know like that no that's not what it is it's um
01:07:37.160 it's a conference for women to be leaders um and women can lead but they uh if they want to lead
01:07:44.680 they will lead alone they will be alone um and it's just that's not the way god created men and
01:07:51.220 women men are not going to want to marry a three you know piece you know suit piece boss babe you 0.60
01:07:57.660 know um whatever uh that's just that's never gonna gonna happen and so yeah i think a big a big thing
01:08:04.420 going back to what west said is you're going to have to have you know societal changes writ large
01:08:10.640 um that ultimately bring bring women back home and in the case of single women it would be bringing
01:08:17.260 them back to their father and they would be wanting to start their own household their own 1.00
01:08:22.180 family and skipping that step of indefinite independence. They would know that for me to
01:08:30.240 leave, right? I mean, all this is biblical for this reason, not college, not career. For this
01:08:36.440 reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and cling close, cling fast to his wife. The purpose 0.99
01:08:44.200 of leaving your initial household that you grew up in is to start your own. The Bible doesn't give
01:08:52.140 any other reason for for leaving uh your first family but to start your own family and so i i
01:09:01.440 feel like until until we um until we find a way whether it's through tax benefits or legislation
01:09:09.400 or you know this that or the other until we find a way to create less opportunity and i know some
01:09:16.500 people hear this and say that sounds cruel uh it's not it's merciful it will lead women's happiness
01:09:21.180 is at an all-time low it will make women married women are generally happy that's right single
01:09:27.060 women are miserable miserable yeah with their their glass of wine and their cats they're 0.98
01:09:31.080 miserable so this is not we're not trying to disparage women we love women we'd like them 0.99
01:09:34.940 to be happy and the bible tells us um what what is for our good and and where and how we will be
01:09:42.440 most happy and so in love for both men and women um until we as a society make some kind of
01:09:50.140 systematic changes to where um there's nowhere for women to go but marriage uh then i don't think
01:09:59.040 you're going to see it changed and here's the thing um sometimes you can black pill and you
01:10:03.640 can think like well i don't you know we have such godless leadership you know even all the you know
01:10:08.200 alleged conservatives are feminists you know and like trump's not going to do that and this person's
01:10:13.180 not going to do that and um you can black pill and despair pretty easily but the thing that
01:10:18.120 encourages me is just remembering that at the end of the day, it's not just making conscious
01:10:21.880 decisions and the leadership of our country, doing the right thing that aligns with scripture.
01:10:26.300 If that were the only hope, then yeah, we're, you know, up the creek without a paddle because I
01:10:33.200 don't have a whole lot of faith in politicians, but God is exceedingly merciful. And by way of
01:10:39.320 providence, he will sometimes in his mercy force us back onto the rails that we in our rebellion
01:10:46.260 God off of. And he'll do it even though we didn't make that conscious decision without sending
01:10:50.860 revival to the land, without changing our hearts. He'll just get us back on the rails. And then in
01:10:55.900 his mercy, the heart changed and those kinds of things will eventually follow. And one of the
01:11:00.240 ways that God could do that by his providence, there's a number, but one is AI. Artificial
01:11:05.800 intelligence is taking jobs, but it will be taking, mark my words, it will be taking female 1.00
01:11:12.840 jobs disproportionately it's not taking trash truck collectors nope garbage truck men yep it 0.95
01:11:18.060 is going to be taking uh the some of the the first jobs that will be replaced and are being
01:11:23.920 replaced will be um the most meaningless jobs admin hr like i mean it's seriously like you go
01:11:35.180 to your your your work tomorrow morning your corporation and you look at which departments
01:11:41.500 would it be great if we got rid of and then look and see who works there is it men or is it women
01:11:49.560 right your hr department all these all these kind of pencil pushing uh busy work admin jobs uh these 0.99
01:11:57.460 kinds of things uh these will be replaced and the statistics are that disproportionately women are 1.00
01:12:03.460 the ones who work these kinds of jobs uh the the very type of jobs um that are most easy easily 0.93
01:12:11.920 replaceable and uh and i i think on it so that my point is even without revival coming to the land
01:12:17.500 although we pray for that and hope that that's the case but even without a spiritual revival or
01:12:22.460 a conscious heart change and a change of of course that we actually make as a decision
01:12:27.960 i think that just providentially in god's mercy through technological innovation and god can also
01:12:34.680 you know another thing that can get a society on path real quick we don't wish for but just saying
01:12:39.480 historically uh that can bring a nation together and get men into their god-given roles and women
01:12:45.960 back into their god-given war conflict someone pointed out in the chat totally tragedy uh calamity
01:12:52.520 famine um uh economic crash all like so whether it's technological innovation like ai or whether
01:12:58.980 it's a war or whether it's a crash in the market or whether it's this or that there are a lot of
01:13:02.860 ways that god can actually force us to return to nature right because because all this is is at
01:13:09.580 some level it's it's the fact that we have this artificial we've we've found a way to manipulate
01:13:15.680 God's natural order and we've created this artificial world and all it needs is just a
01:13:22.820 little bit of pressure just a little bit of providential pressure and it pops like a bubble
01:13:29.700 and it's not sustainable and all of a sudden it's like okay like we've got you know we've got this
01:13:35.780 task and it requires physical strength okay it's going to be you know it's going to be like 99%
01:13:41.620 men um and uh we've we've got this over here and like and it's going to be women and so um my point
01:13:49.060 is that you know if you're looking out to your political leaders or you're looking even at the
01:13:53.040 church which can be incredibly discouraging looking at the evangelical church whatever it is
01:13:57.120 and you're thinking we don't have the grit we don't have the will i don't see anybody you know
01:14:01.640 it doesn't seem like people are willing to change they just want to double down and just continue to
01:14:06.380 be a bunch of libs um there's a lot of truth in that um however at the end of the day we don't
01:14:12.880 get to decide and uh history has proven and scripture in the old testament with israel
01:14:18.340 like how many times was israel off the rails and god said you know what will fix this
01:14:23.460 um everyone getting together and just digging deep inside and making the right decision nope
01:14:29.520 you know what fix this 70 years of captivity that'll fix it real quick all it'll take is 70
01:14:35.100 years and everybody's going to have a great attitude. And people are going to repent of
01:14:41.620 their sin, repent of their idolatry. And God has done it countless times with this society and
01:14:48.780 this civilization and this empire. God is sovereign, just as sovereign as he ever was.
01:14:54.860 And in his mercy, he can turn up the faucet of pain or providence by AI or whatever it is,
01:15:02.220 pain or providence and he can turn up those faucets and push us back on the rails despite
01:15:08.300 ourselves and that gives me hope so we need to we need to deal with the chat we've got some super
01:15:16.740 chats that we want to make sure to honor and then we've got some good questions that you guys have
01:15:20.260 sent in which we appreciate do we have one more commercial break we do okay let's go to one more
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01:19:25.100 so welcome back we're gonna hit the questions we've got a number of questions and some super
01:19:28.860 chats, but practically on advice, you gave some to the men. But I did want to round it off with
01:19:33.320 one just really practical way of framing it. So this was a great post from a couple days ago,
01:19:38.480 and I'm just going to read it, and I think it says it really well. So this is someone kind of
01:19:42.360 using that frame. Have you got a young man? Yeah, bro, there's like zero young women at my church.
01:19:47.200 I'll never find a date. Oh, that's tough, dude. What church do you go to? Yeah, it's a church in
01:19:51.600 the Reformed Ecclesiastical Theological Associate Reform Denomination of the Southeast. We broke 0.76
01:19:56.900 off from the RPCNA back in the 90s when Joe Moorcraft went liberal for not making Alex Jones
01:20:01.360 an elder. There's like five churches in our denomination scattered through the South.
01:20:05.020 The biggest one has nearly 70 members and is only 40 miles from the nearest town. And he's being a
01:20:10.240 little bit funny about that. Like we're the super hyper niche, you know, we're the only truly
01:20:14.480 reformed church. No, not just in our town, not just in our state, but in the entire United States.
01:20:20.080 But practically speaking, men, if you want to get married, we have lost a lot of those cultural
01:20:24.900 institutions that bring men and women together. There's a reason people marry their high school 1.00
01:20:29.060 sweetheart. Because they were brought together in high school. They were brought together in sports.
01:20:32.860 He's on the field playing football. She's a cheerleader. You're up in the bleachers cheering
01:20:36.480 for the same team. But a lot of those contexts in adulthood that bring people together, we've lost
01:20:42.340 them. Or we will bring people together, but we'll do them for quirky, silly reasons. We'll do it for
01:20:46.840 Halloween parties and Friendsgiving, not realizing the reason we did these dances and social events
01:20:53.100 and everything was for men and women to get together, to hang out, and to spark relationships.
01:20:57.840 So a lot of that has been lost. You don't have those contexts to meet and interact with women
01:21:01.820 as much anymore. And practically, especially if you want a godly woman, less and less the United
01:21:06.620 States is godly, you're going to have to go where godly women are. If we're being perfectly honest, 0.99
01:21:12.300 your OPC church of 25 people, they're not there. Now, never are we to go to what would be a non-church,
01:21:18.460 what would be a church with women pastors, for instance.
01:21:21.860 But practically speaking, I think it is perfectly permissible.
01:21:24.300 And I've had men ask me this, to say, I have these convictions.
01:21:28.120 I'm Reformed. I'm Calvinistic. I'm theonomic. I'm this, that, or the other.
01:21:31.820 But practically speaking, I also want to be married and have a family.
01:21:34.980 And I'm going to go down the street to this church that's a lot more like John MacArthur's church,
01:21:39.260 but it's male elders. They preach the gospel, the singing.
01:21:43.060 You know, they got the guitars and the rock band. 1.00
01:21:45.500 but here's the deal there's a thousand single women in their 20s and 30s there that's right 1.00
01:21:49.720 that is it's not required but i think it is very much so permissible i'm going to go there i'm
01:21:55.140 going to serve the lord and i'm going to spend time around men or women for women it would be
01:21:59.920 kind of the opposite going to a good reformed church like ogden or like ours to be around
01:22:04.000 single men i think that's perfectly permissible to do yeah i agree um categories uh true church
01:22:10.340 versus false church, and then good church versus bad church. You can be in a true church that's not
01:22:16.800 a good church. It's an okay church. It's a decent church, but it is true, meaning it is, you know,
01:22:24.900 lowercase o, orthodox. It's not heretical. It does constitute as a church, and it's not the best
01:22:32.360 church or even necessarily close to the best church, but to go there for the purpose of snagging 0.71
01:22:39.040 a bride is, I think, permissible. We had a young man who moved out with us back in 2020 0.98
01:22:47.180 from California, where I pastored previously. And so he moved out when we all moved, myself and my
01:22:55.640 family and about seven other families. And he was the only single man who came with us at the end
01:23:00.820 of 2020 and um and about two three years ago uh we our church was still smaller at the time
01:23:08.480 and i remember he called me and and he was all worked up you know like he like he felt terrible
01:23:14.860 about it you could tell he felt guilty but he also just felt sad because he loved our church
01:23:18.800 and he loved me and it was no hard feelings uh but he said i there's this other church and i've
01:23:23.320 been attending you know some of their midweek programs you know for singles and young adults
01:23:28.000 and things like that. But I'm still kind of an outsider because I'm a member at your church and
01:23:35.900 I go to your church on Sunday and I want to join this church. And I knew the pastor and he was a
01:23:40.940 good guy. He knows how controversial I am and all that kind of stuff. And he's always treated me
01:23:44.560 with kindness. But the church is just not quite as conservative as our churches, but it's a true
01:23:50.780 church um it they love the bible um they're they're lowercase o orthodox and uh they're not
01:23:57.840 heretics um they they do some things differently than we do and there's some topics that they
01:24:03.140 probably won't address that we would be willing to address they're not as liturgical um when it
01:24:08.680 comes to their order of worship uh there's a little bit of the rock band you know it's more
01:24:13.000 tasteful than some churches they don't have smoke machines and things like that but but it is you
01:24:17.840 know a little bit more of a concert uh that you know we're acapella in our singing um but i love
01:24:23.440 that because it's here's a young man who cares deeply about theology has been you know um in in
01:24:29.020 my church and was willing to move across the country uh to come with us and all these things
01:24:33.980 and yet um he realized i i can't afford to be an ideologue i i don't want to be um an an ideologue
01:24:41.640 who is single my whole life.
01:24:44.420 I would rather be a permissible degree of pragmatic
01:24:48.460 and be married.
01:24:51.060 And then I can always come back to your church
01:24:53.540 or find some other solid church that I agree with.
01:24:57.460 But I need to be willing for a couple of years 1.00
01:24:59.420 to go where the women are.
01:25:02.540 And I completely blessed him to do so.
01:25:06.520 And no hard feelings.
01:25:07.880 And I was like, yeah, you don't need to feel guilty.
01:25:09.840 This is not sin.
01:25:10.600 so yeah i think that's really good practical advice really good yep okay uh let's go ahead
01:25:18.460 and deal with the chat oh i'll take this first one so uh sparty buck uh he said uh there are
01:25:24.140 biological and physiological consequences for psychological psychological i'm sorry biological
01:25:29.880 and psychological consequences for body count um this is true we don't have time to get into it
01:25:35.100 but that would be a good episode to do sometime.
01:25:37.780 You know, Wes has plenty of experience
01:25:41.620 in the realm of biology and those kinds of things.
01:25:43.740 And so eventually that would be-
01:25:45.320 I prefer the term knowledge
01:25:45.900 rather than experience on that one.
01:25:47.260 Okay, all right, knowledge.
01:25:48.400 Plenty of knowledge in that realm.
01:25:51.200 But yeah, that would be a good topic to discuss.
01:25:54.140 And for the record, I'll just say this.
01:25:55.600 It is true that having more sexual partners
01:26:00.720 has um a biological uh certainly psychological but even biological effect and here's the deal
01:26:07.460 we don't live in egalitarian world that's not the world that god made so that effect um it doesn't
01:26:13.220 happen to men it happens to women yeah and that's just the facts it's like oh well you know so like
01:26:19.100 so men um can can get away scott clean um biologically speaking yes um now there are
01:26:26.380 other consequences right you can get stds and those kinds of things like uh god will not be
01:26:30.860 mocked by men or women um you know and so uh there are consequences and then of course most
01:26:36.000 importantly there are the consequences of sin spiritually you know and psychologically and
01:26:40.720 mentally um emotionally those kinds of things but in the case of women there actually are
01:26:45.720 biological consequences that are not there for men but that are there for women uh that women
01:26:51.560 were intended by god to have one sexual partner um and and they are affected uh much more severely
01:26:59.160 if uh if that's not the case uh then men are and that's worth talking about for uh young women to
01:27:05.980 be aware of and for young men as they're considering um a spouse and looking to marry a woman uh that
01:27:12.640 her past yes we have a god who redeems we believe the gospel we're saved uh not by our meticulous
01:27:19.220 law keeping, but by the perfect and finished obedience of Christ, by grace alone, through
01:27:23.060 faith alone, and Christ alone. So we're not talking about, well, this woman has a sketchy
01:27:29.120 past, and therefore she can't be a Christian, or therefore she can't be a member in a Bible
01:27:34.440 believing church, or therefore we should treat her with disrespect. We're not saying any of those
01:27:41.240 things. But we are saying that when it comes to looking for a spouse and who to marry,
01:27:46.060 um that should be considered it should be considered on both sides of the aisle
01:27:50.660 a man's past a woman's past but biologically speaking there are uh deeper much deeper
01:27:58.720 consequences for the woman than there are for the man so good comment from Sparty Buck he's right
01:28:03.820 about that we'll try to deal with that more in depth in the future uh and Tony you want to take
01:28:07.780 the next two yeah yeah so nobody's special two comments here uh two super chats uh first one
01:28:13.860 says uh most of the women in churches even women in their 60s and 70s are second wave feminists
01:28:19.560 this is of course completely true so much of the rudiments of uh what we see today what we're seeing
01:28:26.120 played out today in third wave feminism uh were were established in uh you know the mid 20th
01:28:33.320 century um and so of course a lot of people as a consequence bought those lives both women and men
01:28:38.540 alike really i mean even if you speak to some men in the gen x generation so much of the platitudes
01:28:45.000 of feminism they'll agree with um and so uh yeah it's important to note like we're not what we're
01:28:51.800 dealing with uh we said this earlier in the episode what we're dealing with is uh at this
01:28:56.180 point generations old it's it's it's seated in almost every facet of our society um and so of
01:29:02.400 course as we think about uh approaches and and how we address these things we're going to have to
01:29:07.020 consider all of the different ways that it's crept into corners and and what the sort of
01:29:12.740 interdependencies are of of change so a good comment there the second one here says white
01:29:19.580 evangelicals especially homeschoolers are some of the only people in the world who are consistently
01:29:24.520 encouraging their children to wait as long as possible to marry that is some homeschoolers
01:29:30.480 certainly it's like what kind of homeschooler there is a kind that does that and then there
01:29:34.460 is like they're like eighth out of yeah 16 kids in the family and they're expected to have 16
01:29:39.400 themselves but that is certainly a trend that's some married by 12 married by 12 no but i remember
01:29:45.980 like maybe you both remember as well like a big cultural moment was tim tebow if you remember
01:29:51.740 sort of at the height of his college career i i can i remember this uh interview where they're
01:29:57.380 asking him uh you know about girlfriend i think it was something about girlfriends but somehow it
01:30:02.900 got to him waiting until he was married to have sex.
01:30:06.560 And of course it was this incredible uproar, you know,
01:30:09.620 there's a, Tim Tebow has also spoken about this.
01:30:12.200 Like he was obviously on a college football team
01:30:15.080 and he was surrounded by guys who constantly 0.67
01:30:16.820 were trying to tempt him into having sex
01:30:20.360 and sort of, you know, sort of one night stand flings 0.57
01:30:24.260 with women and things like that.
01:30:25.420 And so, yeah, I mean, that was kind of a moment
01:30:29.300 where it was like, okay, this is clearly
01:30:31.780 The unpopular thing, and this would have been...
01:30:34.700 Russell Wilson, too, was very much adamant about that.
01:30:36.880 Yeah, exactly.
01:30:37.780 So, you know, more so in the last, you would say, you know, maybe 15 years,
01:30:42.780 you've seen that just completely flip where it's a very small segment of the population here in America.
01:30:48.780 It's kind of exhausting, like we read this morning in family worship, Ephesians 6,
01:30:52.080 and fathers do not exasperate your children.
01:30:54.320 You're kind of speaking out of both sides of your mouth when you say, wait until marriage.
01:30:57.980 And also, you should get married at about 28 to 29 years old.
01:31:01.480 yeah like the the practical means of waiting till marriage is marrying not extremely young
01:31:07.120 but marrying when you are young like you said earlier joel the wife of your youth and so insofar
01:31:12.120 as people push that it's very contradictory and like purity culture honestly a lot of good like
01:31:17.900 be chaste don't look at terrible things online and wait until marriage like that's good advice
01:31:22.920 but of the negatives that you could say was most certainly a almost denial and a demonizing
01:31:28.520 and wait as long as possible no it's good it's given by god it's intended it's to be kept within
01:31:33.760 marriage and getting married at 20 is a great thing to do without the practical tools of okay
01:31:39.300 what do i do as i wait right what am i to do and so you have sort of secret sin and you've heard
01:31:45.480 this come out a lot uh in some of these circles the you know purity circles of the 90s and early
01:31:51.020 2000s it's like bill gawthard yeah was a single man and then he's asking for massages and he was
01:31:56.620 creepy he never married right yep yep and yet he talked about marriage all the time it's always
01:32:02.400 kind of funny i don't know how we followed him not we personally but like how evangelicals
01:32:07.880 people did yeah captivated by that one yeah real quick i was just gonna add one thing i think that's
01:32:12.200 well said but uh the only thing i would add to it is um i think part of this um this sentiment
01:32:17.940 you know uh even among evangelicals of like you should wait and get married later um that's across
01:32:23.960 the board. I don't think that's particular to evangelicals. I would agree if it's like,
01:32:28.360 you know, including even evangelicals, but that's really across the board for all Westerners
01:32:34.940 and Americans giving counsel to their adult children to wait rather than marrying young.
01:32:41.880 And I think part of it is, I mean, there's a million different factors and we've talked about
01:32:45.860 a lot of them on this episode so far, but one other is the judicial system, legality,
01:32:51.840 uh that um i think there's a lot of people who are telling their children adult children to wait
01:32:56.760 because they have um horror stories of their own and immense regrets of um you know their wife that
01:33:04.320 took them to court and uh and took everything that they had and took the children and did this
01:33:09.760 and did that um and so with the rise of you know no no fault divorce and with um in many cases a 1.00
01:33:18.060 female-coded judicial system that almost always sides with the wife, no matter what the facts 1.00
01:33:24.760 actually are. A lot of men have just realized that the moment they get married and have a child, 0.98
01:33:30.860 it's not just getting married, but it's getting married and having children. The moment they
01:33:34.440 get married and have a child, they become subservient, legally bound in slavery to their 0.99
01:33:41.040 wife she holds every key of power in our society at large in terms of culture in terms of law 0.99
01:33:49.220 at every single level and she can she has she has the power to absolutely destroy his life 1.00
01:33:57.240 to make sure he never sees his children again to take the house to take you know everything that
01:34:02.200 he's worked for not just a 50 50 split but i mean like he is destitute he is ruined and so a lot of
01:34:09.920 people have given that advice especially to their sons to young young single men saying be careful
01:34:17.440 be careful be careful because the moment that you do this yes it's a good thing and yes ultimately
01:34:22.660 I want to see you married I want to see you have kids but if you make the wrong choice marriage 0.97
01:34:28.560 and children today means giving the keys away to a woman who will have the entire weight of our 1.00
01:34:36.760 american system our culture our laws politicians pastors right you go in for marriage counseling 0.69
01:34:43.420 who who are the pastors going to side with with a woman always virtually always um so it is uh i
01:34:52.480 think that's part of the reason why that council has been to wait is because uh boomers and older
01:34:58.620 generations uh gen x especially um has seen uh just a lot of horror stories where um it doesn't
01:35:06.020 mean that men can't do terrible things because they do but men do bad things and so do women
01:35:11.400 they both do bad things but but when you look at the system the system favors the women our current 1.00
01:35:19.340 feminist system favors the women and even the courts I would say especially the courts the 1.00
01:35:25.520 church courts and the civil courts will favor the woman and so the moment that a man gets married
01:35:30.760 and has children um he has made the most vulnerable decision that he will ever make in his lifetime he
01:35:37.640 has basically uh put his neck on uh on a stone and given this lady a knife and uh and with just the 0.73
01:35:45.800 flick of a wrist she can uh she can kill him and absolutely destroy him forever and so yeah it's a 0.72
01:35:52.440 daunting daunting decision dapper dan i'll get this next one dapper dan sent a ten dollar super 0.96
01:35:58.280 chat. Thank you, Dan. He said this, I'm seeing lots of men join the Eastern Orthodox and Catholic
01:36:03.100 churches because they're allegedly not as feminized as Protestant ones. What can the
01:36:07.580 Protestant church do to combat this? The greatest strength of Protestant churches is they're
01:36:13.740 decentralized. That's right. The worst part about Protestant churches is they're decentralized.
01:36:18.860 Certainly in Calvin and even the later Dutch reformers like Bovink, they certainly imagined
01:36:22.600 that the Protestant church would be more uniform than it is right now. So Calvin and Luther,
01:36:26.900 is they unshackled from the Roman church. Their ideal was not. And we're doing this. You could
01:36:31.400 have, you know, first, second, third, fourth, fifth Baptist, all in the same town, and they don't ever 0.88
01:36:35.860 talk to one another. So the reformed church, I mean, it literally means reformed. You formed it
01:36:40.520 again. Because Protestantism has splintered, it's about six to nine denominations. People say,
01:36:45.560 well, you have 30,000 churches. Really, there's about six to nine different strong theological
01:36:50.880 strains, rivers, streams that you could speak of. But the problem, practically speaking,
01:36:55.540 how do we fix this? How do we make them less feminized? Is that you could reform, for example, 0.79
01:37:01.300 the Lutheran church, your ECLA, your LCMS. You could do that, but that doesn't mean that the
01:37:05.780 Episcopalian church, the Anglican church, the Baptist church, the Presbyterian church, that
01:37:10.080 doesn't mean that they're going to do anything about it. And so as far as it comes to reforming
01:37:15.160 and masculinizing Protestant churches, again, it's going to be a church by church model. I love what
01:37:20.780 Ogden, for instance, is doing. They're a little bit ahead of us. They've had a building.
01:37:24.420 They've just been around longer.
01:37:26.240 But I mean, that is a masculine church that is liturgical. 0.81
01:37:29.340 It's traditional.
01:37:30.640 There is not a hint of feminism in the men, the deacons, the leadership, the worship, any of that.
01:37:35.920 And what's going to have to happen is churches like that are going to have to model it.
01:37:39.040 And other pastors and other men take that and realize, man, there seems something different.
01:37:43.280 And I'm realizing they don't have women read scripture from stage.
01:37:47.060 And their worship emphasizes singing instead of instrument and drums. 0.93
01:37:51.720 but practically speaking there is not a mechanism centrally speaking to uh to fix this problem with
01:37:58.340 protestantism it's gonna be a hard one to win yeah i i would just i'll just add to that you
01:38:02.820 know like the label protestant today isn't even really helpful because it's just such a wide
01:38:08.280 spectrum of of uh theological views um but i will i'll say this and this is my conviction obviously
01:38:15.180 um but i think the reform tradition is kind of the only hope for protestantism like that's just
01:38:20.560 that's just where we're at i think um the reform tradition is largely doing this right now and
01:38:26.060 we're seeing this kind of uh sort of uh male you know patriarchal male positive uh sort of church
01:38:32.920 version of church and version of culture emerge and i think that will be good uh as we think about
01:38:38.920 well where are men going to go or is it going to be orthodoxy is it going to be catholicism or
01:38:43.540 the reformed tradition i think the reformed tradition has a lot to offer uh both on theological
01:38:49.500 logical grounds obviously but um also on this on this front yeah yeah all right i can handle this
01:38:57.860 one quick so deacon st john great brother uh faithful supporter he left a 20 super chat
01:39:02.900 with just a really good question and uh maybe instead of reading it what i'll say to this just
01:39:07.680 because there's circumstances it depends on the state it depends on your job situation
01:39:11.400 he's just asking about a custody battle john if you would just message me on x i'd be happy to
01:39:16.400 dialogue just a little bit further about this it's uh wesley underscore todd underscore if you
01:39:21.740 just message with whatever your name is i would be more than happy to dialogue a little bit about
01:39:25.420 this question just basically asking where do i kind of go the court system is against me
01:39:29.580 and i have i have a daughter i want to see her how do i best navigate that so i would be more
01:39:35.340 than happy to talk about it really appreciate your support for our ministry and us yeah i would love
01:39:40.040 to try to be a help thanks john um all right nate is that all the super chats for today
01:39:45.680 Nope, we got more.
01:39:46.620 Oh, we have more.
01:39:47.340 Okay.
01:39:48.000 The Dangerous Gentleman.
01:39:49.340 The Dangerous Gentleman.
01:39:50.480 $10.
01:39:51.020 Thank you.
01:39:51.380 We appreciate that.
01:39:52.560 He says, what do you think about reviving shepherd-led marriage?
01:39:58.020 Not forced, but guided biblical matchmaking through pastors, families, and community.
01:40:04.360 Dating is broken.
01:40:06.000 Christendom needs structure.
01:40:07.900 Yeah, 100%.
01:40:09.060 Yeah.
01:40:09.420 I mean, we talk about that all the time.
01:40:12.340 If it had been five years ago, I would have said, we joke about that.
01:40:15.060 but at this point, I can't even say we're joking. We seriously talk about that as men in our church
01:40:21.160 and as friends. We talk about who our kids are going to marry. And yeah, absolutely. I think I
01:40:29.280 mostly agree with that. I don't think we would force anything. I don't think legally that we
01:40:34.100 could force anything. I know we couldn't. But in terms of strong guidance and encouragement,
01:40:39.520 um absolutely uh there's there's so many things that parents can do um obviously you need to be
01:40:46.360 in a good biblical church you need to be doing you know family worship and catechism with the
01:40:49.960 children with your wife washing her in the word and all these different things and have a home
01:40:53.680 that's warm a home that's fun a home that fears the lord you need to get your kids out of public
01:40:59.440 school you need to have them in a christian distinctly christian school or homeschooled
01:41:04.560 all these things are paramount but there are even more things that you can do you can make sure that
01:41:11.360 you are in a place that has other families in a similar life stage as you so that your your
01:41:17.460 children are going to have multiple marriage options that's a huge thing to be thinking 10
01:41:23.280 15 20 years down the line am i building a life in a community now where my children will have
01:41:29.100 someone to marry that i would approve of because if not then you can't you can't hold that against
01:41:35.300 your kid and say well why are you still single you know or uh why do you keep bringing home deadbeats
01:41:40.640 you know as uh potential suitors it's like well why did you mom and dad um raise me in a community
01:41:47.080 where there was no one no suitable option around so uh so where you go to church and what community
01:41:53.460 you're in and this also has to do with where you live what state you're in and what county you're
01:41:58.400 in, what city you're in, where you live and how you live and where you go to church and who you
01:42:06.180 go to church with is going to be like 98% of the determining factor for who your children marry
01:42:13.640 and if your children marry and when your children marry. So parents, if you love your kids and if
01:42:21.100 they're young, that's even better. That means you have plenty of time. You can make these transitions
01:42:25.300 early. I recognize it is hard to uproot your family from their school, your kids from their
01:42:31.920 school and from their church and from their town. When your kids are 17 years old and 15 years old
01:42:39.360 and 13 years old, way easier to do it before having kids or when your children are young
01:42:45.780 to say, no, we're making the switch now. We're pulling the trigger now. Yes, it'll hurt now,
01:42:52.940 but it'll hurt more later and we have to do this we're going to get out of uh new york where there
01:42:58.620 is now a literal communist uh uh mayor right that just so the democratic nominee for the mayor race
01:43:07.040 is a literal muhammadin socialist yes yes yeah so you got an islam born islamic foreign born
01:43:15.200 socialist um and for those who are like well that socialism isn't all bad yeah but this is the
01:43:21.420 communist version of socialism right so this is this is as bad as it can possibly get and uh yeah
01:43:27.220 if you're in new york what why are you in new york stop that like what stop it get some help
01:43:33.300 get some help stop it get some help let me play this out too when you said about like dating
01:43:37.200 options so i have a daughter and i'm going to be involved when a young man comes to ask for her
01:43:41.440 hand in assessing him and just picking a good man here's what's going to help a ton if we stay in
01:43:46.400 this area and stay in the church there will be young men that i have known for 20 years i know
01:43:51.240 their dad and his character i know his mom i know their marriage i've seen him grow up i've seen
01:43:56.680 what he's interested in how he's working and so he comes to me and says i would be interested
01:44:00.820 in pursuing your daughter i have a entire backdrop of context to say this is a good virtuous young
01:44:06.860 man sweetie and i'm excited for you to begin this endeavor versus when she's 25 and she comes home
01:44:11.780 with a man and i don't know him you don't know anything and so i'm trying to do my best and say
01:44:16.220 well what uh tell me about your spiritual life tell me about this what are your ambitions you
01:44:20.620 have to go meet his parents for the first time trying to first time and so just practically
01:44:25.720 where you are being rooted staying there picking somewhere staying put when it comes time for
01:44:31.260 dating you are giving your kids exponentially more good options practically tangibly speaking
01:44:37.720 you are giving them much better chances of not being young men or young women that are in their
01:44:42.520 30s saying why didn't this happen to me all my friends got married but there's nobody that i
01:44:47.840 know and and i never got picked and i want a family so deeply and it just never happened but
01:44:53.100 why right the only thing i was going to add to that so so where do you live who do you live with
01:44:58.240 where do you go to church um what school do your kids go to or homeschooling co-op or this or that
01:45:04.140 like who are their peers what other families are in your community who are they around all those
01:45:09.320 are massive massively important decisions not just what we do privately as our immediate family in
01:45:15.200 the home with catechism and family worship but um are we in a community that thinks like us are we
01:45:20.800 in a community of others who also do family worship in their home like our church um i don't
01:45:27.300 know of any family there might be one uh that sends their kids to public school so like so we
01:45:33.620 don't have to walk on eggshells and you know and just assume we'll like 80 you know go to uh to
01:45:40.500 public school and we're trying not to offend them and share our convictions too strongly, you know,
01:45:45.340 but I'm looking for those three other families in a church of 500 people, you know, that have the
01:45:50.320 same conviction that we do, you know, or think of it like, like cell phones. I don't know a single
01:45:54.740 family in our church that has 12 year olds with a smartphone, you know, like not one. So that is a
01:46:00.920 huge thing. And that doesn't mean we don't have some disagreements, you know, like obviously some
01:46:04.360 parents, you know, are homeschooled, some parents are, you know, classical, you know, Christian
01:46:08.820 school uh there are still differences and we hash those out we have those kind of conversations but
01:46:13.500 there's so much more unity like we're so so much closer together um just by virtue of being in a
01:46:22.260 you know a solid biblical church that talks about these things out loud publicly um a lot of churches
01:46:28.480 the reason why you have such a wide swath is because it's never publicly talked about from
01:46:32.180 the pulpit and that's why you have you know people all across the spectrum from public school and
01:46:38.260 their eight-year-old has a smartphone and is playing Angry Birds during the service versus
01:46:44.360 somebody else who's like a homeschool-only family. And part of the reason why you have that wide of
01:46:50.240 a spectrum in some churches is because no one actually feels ostracized because the pastor
01:46:55.260 strategically, like a politician, just doesn't talk about those subjects at all. So finding those
01:47:00.800 things. And then the last thing I was going to say is not just where you raise the kids,
01:47:03.980 who you raise them with getting in a good state good town good church good school but also
01:47:10.120 preparing for their future financially one of the big things that my wife and i decided when
01:47:16.140 we moved to texas was to be with our family because one we just realized that we were training
01:47:22.920 our children to move as far away from us as possible when they became adults and how were
01:47:29.300 we training that we never said that we would never say that we don't want our kids to grow
01:47:33.020 up and leave us we want to be close to our children our grandchildren but we were but we
01:47:37.240 that's what we were communicating by our example right meemaw and papa and grandma and grandpa are
01:47:42.960 coming and visiting you know a few times a year as much as they can um love us and love the grandkids
01:47:48.780 but but we live you know 1300 miles away both sides of our family lived in texas and we were
01:47:54.200 in california and we realized um what what are we teaching our kids and then we just were like no
01:48:00.940 family matters yeah um and so so we made that's part of the reason why we made the switch and
01:48:06.320 then what i was going to say in addition to that is so right now like my kids are seeing their
01:48:10.360 grandparents on both sides um and all their cousins we have 25 you know extended family
01:48:15.840 members within a 12 mile radius they're sending seeing their family and their grandparents on
01:48:20.120 both sides um multiple times a week it's normative they're growing that's all they'll ever know
01:48:26.180 that's all they'll ever remember we made that switch early while they were still still young
01:48:30.240 so that's going to be largely ingrained in them so not just where are we raising them but where
01:48:34.940 are we setting them up to go once we're done raising them and the way we're setting them up
01:48:39.920 both by the priority of family but then also by living in in a red state in a place that is much
01:48:45.800 more affordable than many other places in the country and and then also the financial piece
01:48:51.360 I am actively working even now to build capital so that I can help my son start a business so
01:48:58.880 that i can help each of my children with purchasing a house uh so that it's like well but they're not
01:49:04.300 under your roof and you know especially once they get married like your daughters they're going to
01:49:07.520 have their own head of household their husband um and he will trump you as dad yes and amen that's
01:49:13.260 what the bible teaches um and i support it 100 i will not have the authority to tell them that
01:49:19.000 they can't move away but i can bribe them and i'm going to have a handsome bribe i'm going to look
01:49:24.160 at that young man who's going to be my future son-in-law you know he's dating they get engaged
01:49:28.540 and i'm going to say listen um you're going to be the man of the house and my daughter will be yours
01:49:34.540 she'll always be my little girl but she will report to you first as the authority in her life
01:49:38.880 um and i will support you and whatever decision you make that's not you know inherently sinful
01:49:44.800 um that said if you take my daughter and my future grandchildren across the country away from me
01:49:52.020 um i will love you and i will come visit as often as i can but i'm not buying you a house
01:49:58.540 you live here you get all my love and support either way but also you get a house you can do
01:50:04.820 you can just do things turns out that's one of the things that you can do all right are there
01:50:09.520 any other that we have uh trey smith antonio yeah we've got a lot uh one from trey smith for 20
01:50:15.500 bucks thanks trey uh he says married too young and too soon are not the same one might be young
01:50:21.880 early 20s and be well adjusted with a healthy attachment style and prudent using discernment
01:50:27.460 go find another person with those traits and get married yes and amen well said trey uh did we do
01:50:34.300 dapper dan we did we did dapper dan we did dangerous gentlemen all right that's it we nailed
01:50:39.640 it okay um let's go ahead and call it a day uh one of these days we'll see uh but one of these days
01:50:46.820 we're going to try to get into the habit of a tight hour and a half that's our goal right so
01:50:54.300 we're kind of we're kind of building up towards that and um i think i think on monday we went
01:50:59.080 like two and a half hours it was long we okay we's doing a lot of work you're right um but yeah
01:51:06.640 that's it for today we're a little bit under two hours encouragement for single men that is a hard
01:51:11.780 space to be and especially you want to be married i'll just say put it this way i do not know any
01:51:16.700 40 year old millionaires that are healthy men that exercise get out and that are godly that are
01:51:23.640 single. You may be a single man in your 30s. What do I do? Where do I go this, that, or the other?
01:51:28.160 Well, maybe you pursue the basics. You're in an area, you're in a church, wherever it is in your
01:51:32.960 life situation, and it's just not happening. Well, pursue being a godly man. The wealth that you can
01:51:38.680 give then to the church or to maybe those that you care for or mentor or adopt, that's a good
01:51:43.960 thing. Buffeting your body through self-control and discipline, that's a great thing. Being godly
01:51:48.700 is a great thing. So pursue those things. And I would not be surprised. I've known so many men
01:51:53.920 that were in their 30s and they were not happy to be single. And they were like, it's never
01:51:57.900 happening. I'm going to die alone. And I know them and they're celebrating their third wedding
01:52:01.980 anniversary. Not everyone, not every single one, but pursue the godly traits that are godly and
01:52:06.980 make you masculine. And I would not be surprised if in time, what do you know? I found a woman that
01:52:13.920 says, Hey, this man, he's older, but, uh, he's a good man and a godly man. And I want to join his
01:52:19.040 home. Yep. And if you're a woman, the advice that I would give twofold, number one, don't be a
01:52:23.160 feminist, be godly and don't be a feminist. Number two, I know this one hurts, but, um, I, I'm just,
01:52:29.100 I'm tired of a lot of, you know, fathers and pastors and, uh, people who genuinely love,
01:52:34.320 but they don't have the heart to say it. And, and so I'll, I'll say it. Um, don't be a feminist,
01:52:39.840 be godly but secondly uh lose weight there are um there are plenty of incredible uh godly women
01:52:49.080 who love the lord and are not feminist and i just don't know what it is i can't figure it out and i
01:52:54.560 still can't you know it's been this many years i'm trying to find a husband and um and and honestly
01:52:59.920 and you can say well men you know are too vain or this or that or the other um there are a lot of
01:53:07.620 women who are overweight and i understand that there are plenty of men who are overweight i
01:53:12.920 understand but it is different um that man who is 50 pounds overweight but makes uh two hundred
01:53:20.420 thousand dollars a year and um and has ambition and is godly with a decent personality and some 0.92
01:53:28.800 humor to top it off um he will be able to get a bride because women are simply less they're just 0.55
01:53:34.840 they're less visual than men are uh whereas the the female equivalent who is also godly and you 1.00
01:53:42.680 know and is feminine and these kinds of things but she's over the woman who is overweight her her 0.59
01:53:48.440 weight is going to hurt her more than the man that's not an excuse for like joel just said that
01:53:53.220 men can be fat no um men men should be disciplined and uh if you're a man and you're fat um then
01:53:59.100 that's a problem and you should uh you should work to fix that um but i i the point that i'm
01:54:04.960 making is uh i'm thinking of just you know every couple that you know with every marriage i've
01:54:10.340 ever officiated which at this point is dozens and i'll just say this um i have officiated happy
01:54:17.840 couples and on average a lot more tubos on the groom side of the aisle than on the bride side
01:54:25.160 it out i've seen a lot of tubby men get married i have not seen a lot of women who are weighing
01:54:31.960 more than they than they should get married both should lose weight you will live longer your life
01:54:37.160 will be happier you will have more and more energy and it is godlier to have control over your diet
01:54:43.020 and food that is not just like well it's just it's not a moral failing no it's some are fast
01:54:47.860 no there's a moral impetus yeah yep okay thanks for tuning in and uh we'll see you guys again
01:54:54.200 on Friday.