Pastor Joel Webbin and Wesley Todd discuss why women have checked out of dating, and who's to blame. This episode is brought to you by Right Response Ministries, our premier sponsors, armored republic and reese fund, as well as our generous donors.
00:09:34.500Yeah. And you can get into the situation where you're the granularity of distinctions between you and the person you're dating or the person you're seeking to marry is I don't he doesn't like the same shows as me. He doesn't like he doesn't like the same kind of music as me.
00:09:50.180And so you get this, you know, this, uh, uh, majoring on the minors sort of situation in
00:09:56.280dating where it's like, uh, you know, I, I, I, I need to, I need to like everything that this
00:10:03.700person likes and, uh, they need to like more importantly for, for these kinds of women,0.99
00:10:07.820they need to like everything that I like. And, uh, anything short of that is me compromising.0.61
00:10:13.340Right. Yeah. A lot of women are looking for a woman. Uh, that's part of the problem. Um,
00:10:17.840i think you know as this gal is speaking uh it's it's funny to me the irony because it's like
00:10:24.240um what she's wanting and what she's kind of hinting at is what's sitting underneath a blanket
00:10:29.420on the other side of the couch from her during the podcast like that's you know and and the
00:10:34.060reality is that that's not um men are not women and uh and a lot of women have been so you know
00:10:40.840they have the confirmation bias and so reinforced and reassured by women uh that it's it's this
00:10:46.780unnatural interim period that we have in modern western civilization of leaving the household0.82
00:10:54.860leaving your father as a caretaker as a provider as as an authority and and someone who provides
00:11:02.080guidance and then having this prolonged period of time that now is stretched this adolescence
00:11:07.260has been perpetuated and stretched to not just five years but 10 years 15 years i mean you're
00:11:12.480leaving the house for a lot of these young women at 18 years old and not getting married till 30.
00:11:17.680And as we, you know, I've already discussed and we'll see more, half of them, you know, don't even0.85
00:11:22.560get married at the age of 44. But let's just say they get married at 30. That's still 12 years.
00:11:28.080So who are you with for those 12 years? Who's shaping you? Who's reinforcing you? Who's guiding
00:11:33.060you? Not a father and not a husband because you're not married yet. So who is it? It's other women.
00:11:39.720and so you're you're being you're being programmed by other women in what you should be looking for
00:11:46.560and how you should be thinking and what what a man you know who actually loves you would actually
00:11:51.160look like and what he should be like and and all these things and it's just kind of reinforcing
00:11:57.720and and notice it's you could say the same thing about men and say like well men go through this
00:12:03.340you know same interim period where they leave the home you know before they're getting married so
00:12:06.880they're leaving you know that that womanly touch of their mother but they haven't yet you know
00:12:11.600taken a wife um yeah and uh and there are challenges and things that could be said about
00:12:17.940that but uh it is not as uh it doesn't have as negative as of an impact and one of the reasons
00:12:23.440why is because one difference between men and women is that uh men correct each other women
00:12:29.440do not women reinforce each other affirm each other they affirm each other even when they're0.91
00:12:34.220doing stupid and retarded things so so in this situation for all we know um this guy was great0.97
00:12:41.100now i mean he probably wasn't great because a great guy wouldn't date this woman but0.99
00:12:45.600you get what i'm saying relatively speaking uh this guy could have been you know at least
00:12:51.420at least morally better a better guy than than her it would have been a step up in her case
00:12:56.900a good hard working committed man right and but immediately what's being said so as far as we0.98
00:13:02.480know she ruined a good thing she actually you know she could have gotten to the finish line she could0.99
00:13:07.200be married or planning a wedding now soon to be married uh get to be a mother all these kinds of1.00
00:13:11.360things and she blew it up as far as we know she ended the relationship and what is she immediately1.00
00:13:16.860told by another woman by one of her female friends this is so good for you like that's what women do0.98
00:13:24.020is they they incessantly worry about everything so what you were saying earlier west that's that's0.98
00:13:29.000true and a godly woman is going to fight against you know sinful worry right to be anxious for0.99
00:13:34.480nothing but with prayer and supplication to make her request known to the lord but she is going to1.00
00:13:38.940have that sick sense of that spidey sense of you know danger um because she's wired by god in in
00:13:46.180her in her creation uh she's wired by god to be sensitive of dangers and threats in order to to1.00
00:13:53.020like a mother hen brood over the nest and protect her very vulnerable children that's that is her1.00
00:13:59.320domain that's her role that's her place um and so on the one hand women can be you know they can1.00
00:14:05.100have a tendency towards worry on the other hand though um because they do tend towards worry in1.00
00:14:11.580terms of their self analyzing um women have it's it's like this opposite effect it's this catch 220.97
00:14:18.180so a woman will worry about herself incessantly did i do the right thing but then every woman0.99
00:14:23.660around her will will do the exact opposite where everything no matter how stupid of a decision that0.99
00:14:30.480woman just made every woman around her is is just silver lining silver lining silver lining so it0.97
00:14:36.480whether it's um i was about to get engaged to an incredible man and uh and i made the whole thing
00:14:42.980blow up in his face and called it off i'm so happy for you you go girl she could have also said like0.97
00:14:48.980i got mad at my dog and i stabbed him in the heart with a knife and killed him and i guarantee this1.00
00:14:55.260woman sitting on the other side of the couch would analyze and be damn but you know what that's that1.00
00:14:59.560shows a lot of courage and a lot of bravery and you know that that's that's what women do especially0.84
00:15:05.160godless un-christian non-christian women and so i think you know to have this prolonged my point is0.99
00:15:11.340to have this prolonged period in between childhood being underneath the headship of their father0.95
00:15:17.540and then marriage, headship of a husband, for that to be 12 years in many cases. That's not
00:15:24.600even an extreme case, 18 to 30 years old, over a decade where there's no real authority being
00:15:32.200exercised and there's no male presence that's there. And it's just female peers who are just
00:15:38.880is blind as you are the blind leading the blind reinforcing every one of your decisions no matter1.00
00:15:45.340how bad it is trying to somehow tweak it and twist it to where actually that's the best decision that0.86
00:15:51.100anyone's ever made and i'm so proud of you and i'm so happy for you um that is a terrible terrible
00:15:58.940concoction those are the ingredients um for disaster yeah yeah you see them reaching the
00:16:05.760same you know the wrong conclusion by consensus right uh right which is hey uh the more people
00:16:12.720you date the more prepared you are for marriage and it's it's like well no that's actually precisely
00:16:19.020the opposite of what men look for in wives um uh you know what young man is out there it's like
00:16:25.540you lived with how many men previously that many awesome you were just shaped and molded into the
00:16:31.560perfect spouse for me yeah yeah by 10 different men that you live in their homes right most men
00:16:36.860and they should rightfully so they hate that like you need to hear that i don't want to be insensitive
00:16:41.960to women that have a past before christ but practically speaking that advice like oh you
00:16:46.680slept around and you lived cohabitated and you got close to divorce men hear that and they just think
00:16:52.440of other men she's dated and been with she's less has less value practically honestly naturally
00:16:58.980speaking, obviously as Christians there's an element of faith there, but practically speaking0.92
00:17:02.920if we're thinking about the institution of marriage, she's not elevating, not like her
00:17:06.740co-host said, going through these experiences and learning more. She's decreasing her value
00:17:11.420and even practically a big one is age. One of the saddest things, and Christian men do1.00
00:17:16.180this too, and if you're doing it, it's wrong, is they'll play in the middle ground for two1.00
00:17:20.580years. So they'll start dating a woman and they'll have fun, right? They'll go to Disneyland,
00:17:25.020they'll go out to dinner but he'll never really commit to marrying her and so she's there and
00:17:29.800she's 20 she's 25 she's 27 and she's she's like i want to have children i want to have a home i
00:17:36.320really like you and she's asking him to commit so she's like are you going to propose you're
00:17:40.520going to do this and he's always throwing up excuses well with my job and career or i just
00:17:45.440really want to make sure men take this narrative i really want to make sure that she's the one
00:17:49.080and i've known these women they'll go through a three-year relationship and at the very end of it
00:23:18.160So they're looking at men, like you said, Antonio, they make a lot of money.0.51
00:23:21.280And the thing about men, so women's fertility goes down over time.
00:23:24.360a man's status honestly it gets better over time he's more successful if he's a good man
00:23:29.700he's more successful in his career he has less of the youthful undisciplined whatever you want
00:23:35.640to call it he's more disciplined typically he's going to be in better shape in his 30s than in
00:23:40.120his early 20s so he's making more money he looks better he's more mature he has more gravitas
00:23:45.600because that's what women are looking for women are practically vulnerable completely vulnerable
00:23:49.760for nine months when they're pregnant so they need a man that's strong they need a man that
00:23:53.500can provide they can man that can protect them and look after them when they first have the child0.98
00:23:57.800so women are looking for status but all of that status and when we do this like you said with0.99
00:24:02.800dating apps when we do it with when you stack people at just astronomical density into city1.00
00:24:08.860what you do is you say uh all right women you are biologically programmed to seek out high status1.00
00:24:14.040males and those 80 what they're doing is they're chasing the top echelon right and the bottom 80
00:24:19.680percent of men we'll talk about this later on they're having to settle for the remaining 200.86
00:24:23.460and practically speaking there's just not enough to go around and so it creates resentment women
00:24:29.140are frustrated because those high value men are not committing to them they're like i'll give you
00:24:33.440sex on the first date he's like yeah but i can get that from a lot of women and then there's a
00:24:38.060bunch of men that like these women won't even give me a second look right and they both begin
00:24:42.080to hate each other yeah that is definitely happening i i like what you said i don't like
00:24:47.360it but it's important what you said um in terms of yeah a man's value if he's a good man and he's a
00:24:53.600hard-working man he's reasonably gifted and intelligent you know certainly if he's a christian
00:24:58.720man and a moral man um his value is actually increasing over time whereas the woman's value0.96
00:25:05.200is decreasing she has this clicking clock you know this ticking talk um it's you know the time0.99
00:25:11.480is like the hourglass the sand is running thin and just for you know all the christians who are
00:25:16.620listening, when I say that her value is going down, I'm not speaking of the eternal, ultimate
00:25:21.500spiritual sense. I'm not saying her value in the sight of God. I'm not saying her eternal value in
00:25:26.260the weight of her soul. But I'm saying for the purpose of marriage, the conversation that we're
00:25:31.000having at hand, for the purpose of marriage, the 40-year-old single woman is less desirable than0.94
00:25:39.100the 20-year-old single woman, in part because of her life, her fertility, her strength, her beauty.
00:25:46.620all of those things, but then also because if she's 40 years old and single and having never
00:25:54.180married, that also says something. It's like the single mom. There are some single moms who are
00:26:01.600wonderful and Christian and love the Lord, but there is an immediate red flag, and the red flag
00:26:06.780is what happened to the last guy? Why are you single? Did you have the children out of wedlock,
00:26:12.180or did your husband run out on you and if he did run out on you is it because you're insufferable
00:26:18.080you know like there's there naturally are those questions and it's not just that that's
00:26:22.340natural um but i think it's even wise you know i i've counseled christian men who are considering
00:26:28.360marrying a single mother and um and that's part of the counsel that i give i don't say that they
00:26:34.340shouldn't in an objective sense um across the board but but i do say well let's let's sit for
00:26:41.520a moment. Let's think. Let's pray. I'm going to go talk to her. Let's find out why she's a single
00:26:47.540mother. And then if it's because of sin, let's find out, is there genuine repentance? And who0.96
00:26:56.620can vouch for her? Who can say, I've seen her. She's not the same woman that she once was. She's
00:27:02.080changed. It's been X many years, these two years or three years. She's been faithfully going to
00:27:07.400church. She's repented of being a raging feminist, you know, that drove her past husband away or1.00
00:27:14.780this, that, and the other. But these are things that have to be considered. So if a woman is older
00:27:19.000for the purpose of marriage, she is less desirable. If she is a single mother, again, for a man who is0.98
00:27:27.900looking at her as a potential suitor, she is less desirable. And those are not things that are,
00:27:35.200just for the record that's not immoral it's not oh well men are pigs uh that's that's so uh that's0.93
00:27:41.460so vain no the bible says rejoice in the wife of your youth always the bible actually assumes0.96
00:27:48.480and esteems um marrying a young graceful doe marrying a woman who is in the prime of her youth
00:27:58.500that is filled with life and fertility, who is beautiful. The Bible glorifies this. The Bible
00:28:10.620doesn't say, that's vain. Every godly man, if he was really godly, he should be shopping for 300
00:28:16.720pound, you know, 40 year old single moms. That is not a biblical teaching. And there's a lot of1.00
00:28:22.960pietistic Christians who want to kind of act like it is, you know, that basically, well, if you were0.97
00:28:27.120more godly then you'd go marry that hag no that's that's not what the bible teaches it is perfectly0.91
00:28:33.660permissible and not only permissible but i think even right rightly directed uh that a godly man0.99
00:28:40.580in his godliness not not not away from his godliness but through his godliness would be
00:28:46.480seeking a young beautiful non-feminist submissive joyful wife that free virgin with without tattoo
00:28:57.560Yeah, those would be good qualities to look for.
00:28:59.880We talked about it in an episode a couple months ago.
00:29:02.320The glory of young men is their strength.
00:29:04.120Both men and women in their youth have strength for men and beauty for women.
00:29:07.520And the goal of both of them is to exhaust physical beauty, physical strength,
00:29:11.360but for the spiritual qualities of the spiritual beauty
00:29:14.120and of spiritual strength to take place later in life.
00:29:16.780A man will not be able to maintain a 400-pound bench into his 80s.0.71
00:29:21.420And a woman will not be a magazine model into her 80s.0.96
00:29:24.560Both of them are fleeting and both of them will go away.
00:29:26.640But for the Christian, they take those qualities, beauty and youth and vigor, and they transform it into children and a beautiful home and a happy husband.
00:29:35.880The husband takes his strength and he builds a home.
00:29:38.760Now, both of those physical ones go away, but they're replaced by the virtue.
00:29:42.960And so when you talk about youth, like, guys, this is how God made the world.
00:29:47.360Practically, like men can sire children into their 70s.
00:29:50.460Women can bear them till about 45.0.87
00:29:54.940that's his design design you don't get to be mad at it you can be mad at well you can be mad at us
00:30:01.580for pointing that out but practically all we're doing is pointing out this is how god has arranged
00:30:06.020men and women made them differently yeah how to function yeah and what you what you see falling
00:30:11.400apart is this idea of uh i mean it's fault it's falling apart by now actually but uh there's this
00:30:17.520idea of like marriage as an investment on you know a mutual investment on both parts right
00:30:24.680especially in your youth right a man marries a woman at let's assume they get married at 21 20
00:30:30.900he marries a woman at her peak as it relates to her physical beauty she actually marries him sort
00:30:38.900of at at the start right of his potential right and so he's investing in her saying hey you actually
00:30:45.420are incredibly valuable right now as it relates to your physical beauty and over time that will
00:30:51.040actually diminish but i'm investing in your roles you know but your spiritual growth your role as a
00:30:56.820mother and your ability to bear us children and the woman is actually making the investment in
00:31:02.680the man in terms of his future financial output right his uh ability to protect uh as he learns
00:31:10.080what it is to be a man you think about you where you were at 20 years old there's so many things
00:31:14.640you don't know how do you govern a household how do you provide for your family how do you plan
00:31:19.740financially in the long term. And all of these things, a man at 20 years old, as he enters into
00:31:25.200marriage, doesn't have figured out. And the woman is saying, despite those things, I'm investing in
00:31:29.260you and together we'll grow and make something that collectively we benefit from. And now it's
00:31:36.000the opposite, right? Now it's actually, let me realize my full potential now. Let me actualize
00:31:43.080that and reap the benefits myself. And then once I've reaped the benefits, a man living single,0.94
00:31:49.020working until he's 30 and making, living as a bachelor, making a lot of money, having a great
00:31:53.580life, traveling all over the world, women doing the same thing, focusing on her career. Oh, now0.87
00:31:58.400I've, I've expended all the potential of my twenties and I've reaped the benefits myself.
00:32:03.640Now let's go find a partner. That's right. Let's go to our first commercial break. We'll be back
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00:37:00.220And it's about two couples left that are actually men and women trying to make something work.
00:37:04.760let me transition a little bit to the statistics side of things over half of single women said
00:37:12.620they believe that they were happier than their married counterparts so single women are like
00:37:17.100i'm happier in a 2024 study of 5800 adults just over a third of surveyed single men said the same
00:37:24.300so at least in this study you have men saying like we're not doing as hot compared to single women
00:37:28.880A 2022 Pew survey of single adults showed only 34% of married women, of single women, were looking for romance, compared with 54% of single men, down from 38% and 61% in 2019.
00:37:44.000So even less women than six years ago, or five years ago, it was actually three years, 2022 to 2019, women are seeking a relationship less.
00:37:53.160so 34 of single women were looking for romance uh in what in 2022 in 2022 but it previously had
00:38:02.260been 38 in 2019 so down one percent it was in 2019 had previously been 61 and then it dropped
00:38:09.880to 54 in 2022 and listen to this this is this is a sad statistic men were also more likely than
00:38:16.400women to say that they were worried that nobody would want to date them you have here this is uh
00:38:22.700A record high share of 40-year-olds in the U.S. have never been married.
00:38:26.860As of 2021, 25% of 4-year-olds, 25% have never been married.
00:38:33.980So this is not your divorcees are not included in this.
00:38:36.720This was a significant increase from 20% in 2010.
00:38:41.460So in 11 years, 5% more 40-year-olds would count as having never been married,
00:38:47.460according to new Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data.
00:38:50.880we already touched on it a lot of factors contributing that hoflation's one of them
00:38:55.980it's off the charts it's bad yeah but one final one we we addressed it in the cold open but1.00
00:39:01.800back in this was 20 2019 morgan stanley 45 percent of women to be single and childless
00:39:10.260by 2030 now again that's ages 25 to 44 yeah this is we're not just talking about 18 year olds 25
00:39:18.080to 44 year old women 45 of that almost half of the women who are 25 to 44 years old will have
00:39:25.960never been married and have no children and then that's in terms of biologically speaking that is
00:39:32.400past the point of them being able to ever have children right practically speaking so you have
00:39:38.200a fertility crisis we talked about this a couple weeks ago people are not having children people
00:39:42.140are not getting married specifically women less women are seeking to be married this is what a
00:39:47.600culture in suicide looks like yeah a culture unwilling to love unwilling to risk there's one
00:39:52.560final piece that i want to pull up here and this is interesting this is from a local uh ask men
00:39:56.920advice this is on reddit so a cesspool of libs so take it with a grain of salt but listen to this
00:40:01.700this is interesting the the topic the post the title is why do you think men are not attending
00:40:06.140dating events in my area the poster said so i'm curious to get your take on this i've been
00:40:10.900following and sometimes attending some very cool well organized and earnest in-person dating events
00:40:15.640in my area they seem to have a common problem the women's tickets will quickly sell out and there
00:40:20.380will be a hundred women on the waiting list but they can't sell all of the men's tickets so what's
00:40:24.860going on here seems to be more of a problem with the 40 plus age group but only by a little are men
00:40:29.380not on social media so they don't know about them are men more disillusioned what gives
00:40:34.240you have men too they're just and I spoke about I said uh like they're not willing to pursue love
00:40:42.040take a risk dating events like this there's a really good post that we were reading earlier
00:40:46.060it's it's it's the antithesis to how men typically pursue achievement well you come in and you sign
00:40:54.140your name tag and you get your little name tag written down and you have three minutes it's all
00:40:58.440structured it's very actually feminine right it's organized it's structured it's well managed it's
00:41:03.700it's designed to be non-offensive you just privately say like oh i don't want to match with
00:41:07.320this person or i don't want to match with this person and what we have done is we have crushed0.97
00:41:11.320the soul of a people the soul of a people their desire to build a society to find a woman to build
00:41:17.760a home like practically speaking even just going to housing like how many men are like oh the dream
00:41:22.540let me tell you what 700 square foot condo and in downtown denver all you can eat door dash around0.83
00:41:29.100me and a gal to share it with nobody fights for that they work dead-end jobs have terrible housing1.00
00:41:36.040options. In a world where inflation has destroyed your income potential, the women are all practically1.00
00:41:41.860prostitutes. Yeah, that's a society with no life and vigor and energy. Yeah, somebody in the comments1.00
00:41:48.100had a good point. Sparty Buck, he said, it's the dispensational boomers that have told their kids
00:41:55.320to wait to marry. That is absolutely true. Obviously, it's not every boomer, but it is true1.00
00:42:02.460that boomers are really one of the first generations in american history that in mass
00:42:08.960gave the strong counsel for their children not to get married you know too soon what what they
00:42:18.200perceived as being too soon i've heard a lot of people in their 60s and 70s who said you know who
00:42:26.800just in passing they'll say it still even like with no recognition that that was not necessarily
00:42:31.520good thing they'll say it as a point of pride you know we really encouraged our daughter we
00:42:35.460really encouraged our son you know not to get not to settle down too quickly not to get married you
00:42:40.580know uh right out of right out of college you know but to wait until he's 30 you know or something
00:42:45.380like that yeah and if they do get married wait a couple years to settle down and have kids go
00:42:49.880travel yeah and that's pretty consistent i think with like the if you think about the the themes
00:42:57.660of the boomer generation one of the main ones was actually consumerism in the commodity you know
00:43:03.760the commodification of things and i think uh you know what we what we saw in the boomer generation
00:43:08.880this definitely spilled over into gen x as well is well i had to sit in a marriage that wasn't
00:43:16.440perfect there was a shinier woman there was a a shinier set of circumstances that were available
00:43:22.820to me but i had to settle and i don't want that for my children i don't want them to have to
00:43:27.580settle. And so my advice to them is, Hey, find the perfect person and don't be like me who had to
00:43:33.220sit in this unhappy marriage. Um, which the point that I'm making there is that
00:43:38.300this, this indicates that the concept of marriage actually has fallen, had fallen, uh, apart long
00:43:45.480before 2020, long before 2018 and 19. And some of these statistics we're looking at, um, this is,
00:43:51.760this is a downstream consequence of an improper view of marriage that existed in America in the
00:43:56.96060s and in the west in the 70s and um and uh and and really it goes back to some of the same things
00:44:03.000themes that we were looking at and we're hearing in the caller daddy video which is um there's
00:44:08.860there's someone that's perfect for you in the same way that there's a nicer car and there's a nicer
00:44:14.420home that you could live in boomer there's there was a woman that was better for you as well0.51
00:44:18.740and you hear that a lot from boomers as they they talk about their marriages still
00:44:22.660i mean i'm familiar personally with several marriages where you know people would say
00:44:27.780yeah um it it is what it is this is this is my marriage um wasn't wasn't the happiest life that
00:44:34.740i could have had um but but that's what i had and how much did tv and social media just expose
00:44:40.720people to maybe i don't want to say other options but just make them jealous like a sight envy
00:44:47.620precisely so if you're a young man and and let's say i don't even know like the baby weight it's
00:44:52.720not coming off your wife is not as attractive as she was well if you're on instagram or you're on
00:44:56.780x then you're exposed to a litany even if you don't follow those pages and you're carefully
00:45:01.560curated you guard your eyes you're still practically going to see a couple dozen women a day that are
00:45:07.380young and attractive and practically speaking it would be very hard not to and with the boomers0.71
00:45:12.860you could say with TV and it was with all the television and shows and media by commercializing0.58
00:45:18.960everything and using like sex sells attractive people like that's who you want in your branding0.56
00:45:23.480by doing so you kind of broadcasted to at least two generations at this point like oh your spouse
00:45:29.520is not that great but don't worry there's hotter people just around the corner and man that kind
00:45:34.380of sucks that you're stuck with x and y and z same thing with a house same thing with a car
00:45:38.640like you need to be living this type of life and you need to be doing that and uh and then0.97
00:45:42.800comparison the thief of joy and uh and so then they had a bad marriage because they always sit
00:45:47.780there and like man my husband is 100 pounds overweight and makes nothing at his job and i'm
00:45:53.900stuck with him and i see i see my facebook friend from high school i see their marriage and they're
00:45:58.480doing great i see here him and her and this and uh to your point i think that robbed a lot of joy
00:46:04.280out of marriages and they pass that down they're like no no no son you wait you find a great woman
00:46:09.440and now we we see the end of it right is men saying okay i'll wait i'll wait i'll wait you
00:46:15.620know how many times you show up at the pickup basketball court and you don't get picked before
00:46:19.600you just say i'm not gonna go anymore right i'm just standing on the sidelines um and i think
00:46:24.900that's that's the end of of this kind of uh rhetoric and an approach to dating and marriage
00:46:30.100right uh back to that reddit uh comment which reddit is as we all know um reddit is just the
00:46:38.660the seedbed of the worst people alive in all the world uh it's funny how a left-wing space like
00:46:47.200reddit is one of the most heavily moderated sites in the internet and x and twitter is very much so
00:46:52.640not too heavily moderated still to some degree and it is a very right-wing site funny how that
00:46:57.680works isn't it yep yep the one that's moderated is leftist um yeah so the comment that was that
00:47:04.180we read just previously on uh reddit uh said like you know i'm going to all these singles events and
00:47:10.260the the problem is you know women will sign up and there'll be you know 100 women on a waiting
00:47:14.800list you know but the men don't come and you know i was just thinking about like you know even with
00:47:19.900our conference that we held you know a couple months ago we did a singles mixer and um that
00:47:24.900is not the problem that we have in fact we we have to do the opposite so you know with our
00:47:29.460singles mixer we charge the men fifty dollars because we'll have uh we even with charging
00:47:34.660fifty dollars we have way too many and we uh we charge the women one dollar um because we know
00:47:41.760that in right-wing spaces both politically and religiously across the board uh in every single0.90
00:47:49.340element of society in right-wing spaces whether it's the church or whether it's a conference
00:47:54.700or whether it's a political rally um the men are there the women are not and so my point is
00:48:01.300if you take our experience with our conference uh we had to turn away uh lots of men and charge
00:48:07.800them fifty dollars to try to weed out some um and then basically you know like barely got enough
00:48:14.980women um at one dollar instead of fifty dollars to sign up and then you compare that with this
00:48:20.280reddit comment which is a left-wing you know social media site and they're saying you know
00:48:24.080i'm going to these dating events and it's all women and no men we have a a singles mixer and
00:48:29.720it's all men and it's hard to get women and so my point is i think there are still men and women
00:48:34.940out there right i mean the statistics haven't changed much it's still roughly 50 50 50 percent0.56
00:48:40.200men 50 percent women and um we don't have polygamy in the country you know so it's not like1.00
00:48:45.920you know like if if with all the muslims here you think that's not happening yeah it's well maybe0.98
00:48:50.520it's it's not happened yet um so it's not as though you know that like one man has three wives0.87
00:48:55.500so you know if there's roughly the same you know similar amount of women as there are men
00:49:00.94050 you know it's like 51 49 um and each person can only marry one spouse of the opposite sex
00:49:09.380then you should have roughly the same number of single men as you have women and so what i'm what
00:49:15.660i'm saying is that there are single men and there are single women and they're showing up to find a
00:49:21.700spouse but in two different places the women are showing up in leftist spaces and yes i'm talking
00:49:29.500about uh your reddit dating event and the gospel coalition conference i'm talking about both the
00:49:36.600men are showing up in right-wing spaces and i i just i want to be truthful here um that uh that
00:49:43.140includes new christian conference and right response conference but in on the whole the lion
00:49:50.220share uh that includes um a lot of catholic and eastern orthodox churches like where can i find
00:49:56.880if a woman's asking but where where can i find um a good uh high caliber productive ambitious
00:50:05.940virtuous young man um well you're probably actually not going to find him at uh at your
00:50:14.580reddit event um but you will find him at the catholic church you will find him at that eastern
00:50:22.020orthodox church and you will find him at some of the few um right-wing coded um truly conservative
00:50:30.360masculine protestant events like our conference um our we do not have that problem there's just
00:50:37.060too many women and not enough men even just compare the opposite problem very well managed
00:50:41.240the reddit one managed timed perfectly marketed the men's conference we at the end literally did
00:50:47.480like a lifting competition people are throwing up on the field dying as they try to run a mile
00:50:51.760so it's the men's one it's masculine it's not perfectly planned out and curated like again
00:50:57.840that speaks to the dynamic men demand hierarchy men demand competition men demand status men want
00:51:03.980to make something of themselves women want things to be safe and perfect and organized and fair
00:51:09.580yeah fair equal equality yeah so i if if you're a woman who's listening to this which there aren't
00:51:15.900that many i think we're like 87 you know male listenership but if you're a woman who's listening
00:51:21.960to this and you want to get married and you want to marry a high caliber virtuous man then you're
00:51:29.500going to need to go to right-wing spaces because that's where young single men are young single
00:51:36.980men are abandoning the left you can see you know we've talked about this in previous episodes and
00:51:41.980shown the graphs and statistics of men are abandoning the in mass young single men abandoning
00:51:48.620the democrat party abandoning um all the tenets of leftism and liberalism and these kinds of things
00:51:54.460and they are becoming uh right wing because they realize that leftism sold them a bill of goods
00:51:59.680and ultimately hates them and uh and has no future no opportunity and nothing for them
00:52:05.060and so if you're a woman who's trying to get married um you need to follow the men you need
00:52:12.320to follow especially the men who are it's it's worth following them one because that's where
00:52:16.760you'll find a spouse, but two, because they're right and you're wrong. They're right and you're
00:52:21.960wrong. The men are actually adopting views that are more aligned with scripture. And women,
00:52:34.420young single women, in large part, still haven't. They still haven't. And you can see the divide.
00:52:40.660it you know you can track all the way back from like you know the last 50 years of the voting
00:52:46.020patterns of men and women um and and single men and women and they usually kind of follow each
00:52:52.840other and there was a time where like men were uh more liberal um and then you know it kind of
00:52:58.920shifts and now it's like you see the two lines of single men and single women and the men one is
00:53:04.680just trending up towards being more right wing and the woman one and it's actually uh right now
00:53:10.580currently in the last 50 years we have the widest gap politically so this is just politics but it
00:53:16.380translates i think to culture religion these things as well you have the widest gap between
00:53:20.540single men and single women in terms of their political views the widest gap um in 50 years
00:53:27.960here in america and then other nations uh they're like south korea it's actually even more
00:53:32.720extreme the gap is massive between young korean single men being right wing and young korean
00:53:40.860single women being left coated and so i think that's a big part of the problem it's not just
00:53:46.360that the men aren't showing up i think part of the question that you have to raise with that
00:53:50.720is showing up where there are still single men and they are still showing up somewhere
00:53:55.780but they're no longer showing up at your your lib fest that's that's not where they are they're
00:54:02.160waking up they're not showing up to the liberal uh dating event because they're waking up uh to
00:54:07.820to reality and and to god's truth and uh and i think um if if women find that icky
00:54:16.240um then women will die alone so um all right that's the that is the framing if men and women
00:54:25.660don't figure it out scores of them half of them they will die alone our fertility crisis will
00:54:31.740we'll reach the point where our population will decline you'll struggle to staff well we'll be
00:54:36.400replaced by robots but right struggle to staff a lot of enterprises because people haven't had
00:54:40.740children to fill it you literally witness the death of a civilization from its arts from its
00:54:45.060culture from its creativity even its military and its will to live and i don't think practically0.99
00:54:50.380i don't think you get there uh without a large-scale exodus of women from the workforce0.98
00:54:55.900it's probably not going to be organic organically women aren't just going to wake up and decide
00:55:00.680en masse 80 of us we're going back to our home even if we have to downsize i'm going to go back0.95
00:55:05.700i'm going to take care of it i'm going to care for my husband i'm going to care for my children
00:55:08.720i'm going to pull them out of out of daycare i'll be honest guys i don't practically see organically
00:55:12.800how that happens but i don't think without that happening uh that the relationship gets better
00:55:17.340at all yeah any thoughts yeah i mean and just on that point like uh from what i understand from
00:55:25.100i think even republican tax tax bills have done this is subsidizing uh daycare and so you talk
00:55:32.680about economic incentives it's like uh that that those kinds of things work in the opposite1.00
00:55:38.780direction they make it make sense for women to be in the workforce because daycare isn't all that
00:55:44.500expensive right and so um like when you talk about policies and different things like that that have
00:55:50.100brought women into the workforce um to everyone's detriment uh it's it's things like that that we
00:55:55.520can look at and say oh that was in the uh you know the 2017 you know tax cuts and jobs act and uh
00:56:01.820and republicans support that so uh that i think waking up to some of those very particular policies
00:56:08.020that have been put in place even recently uh will be important um to to draw back if you can
00:56:15.200legislate it one way though the encouraging thing is you could legislate it the other way so if you
00:56:19.020legislated lots of daycare lots of perks lots of family leave turns out by taking those away
00:56:23.580people say hey i can't afford daycare like literally there comes a certain point i saw
00:56:27.580someone she said uh pay six thousand dollars a month for daycare in seattle wow like if you're
00:56:31.720making eight thousand dollars a month at a certain point it literally is just i literally could just
00:56:35.580stay home and free daycare imagine that right unless it's subsidized by the federal government
00:56:40.320and then and then you know really the confounding variable is when men are being left behind not
00:56:45.920only uh you know culturally which is absolutely true but also economically right women are more
00:56:51.740likely to graduate college more likely to achieve a master's degree and a phd now than than men are1.00
00:56:57.940so even at the higher income you know tax brackets women are are increasingly filling those um and so1.00
00:57:05.700even you think about like daycare subsidies you know subsidizing daycare like a practical
00:57:11.260consequence of taking that away could actually be men are staying home because they're actually
00:57:15.860the lesser owners. I should say, they make less income than their wives. And so there's all sorts0.80
00:57:26.580of things where we've really gotten ourselves in a pinch here in the West on this front.
00:57:32.040Yep. Duke Mysterian, he said, I think he's right. And I've mentioned this before,
00:57:38.200but I want to mention it again. He said, women conform to whoever is in power,1.00
00:57:42.120not to christian alphas and he's right um women for women uh consensus matters uh women are
00:57:50.300uh i think much more um conformed and vulnerable influenceable um to uh the you know consensus of
00:57:59.680society as a whole but what will people think right what will uh is this popular what will
00:58:05.580the majority say and uh the majority for women um in many ways sets the authority um especially
00:58:13.520in our context which is a democracy which i despise but um but that's where we're at and so
00:58:19.720my point is this um men tend to have for better or for worse you know the the the you know double
00:58:26.120sided coin right it's a two-edged sword so on the one side it's um ambition it's uh it's zeal it's
00:58:33.380it's having a risk threshold, you know, risk tolerance, those kinds of things that lend
00:58:40.680towards entrepreneurship, that lends towards courage and leadership and these kinds of things.
00:58:44.980On the flip side, we could call it rebellion. I think men have a higher tendency to rebel against
00:58:52.160authority is what I'm saying. Women have a higher tendency to submit to authority. And0.99
00:58:58.380ultimately, I think that a lot of that is not, I'm not even saying it's bad. I think that's
00:59:02.620part of God's design. The woman tends to be her, you know, her propensity, natural propensity is1.00
00:59:10.020to be more amicable, to go along, to get along, to go with the majority, to go with whoever is in
00:59:16.960power, whoever is in authority, where men, especially young men, until they're not their
00:59:24.520will broken, but shaped and harnessed, strength harnessed, under control, still strong, in fact
00:59:30.160stronger, but under control, being able to focus and target that strength. But until that happens
00:59:37.960with maturity and time, men tend to be more rebellious towards authority. So women naturally0.99
00:59:44.160being more submissive to authority and men being more rebellious towards authority. And I remember
00:59:50.260thinking, you know, initially thinking, well, maybe, but not anymore because of feminism. And
00:59:55.980And so now, you know, women, they hate the word submission, you know, and that's true.0.81
01:02:29.660I understand in the comments, young men will say, no, no, no, I was persuaded by this argument
01:02:34.540of this church father, whatever, and sure, I believe you, but I think it also has to
01:02:39.660do, so maybe it's, you know, maybe it's not, you know, as a substitute to that, but in
01:02:43.720addition i think you know young men are like okay so everything it's relativism is reigning supreme
01:02:49.580leftism is reigning supreme uh humanist secularism um anti-tradition modernity everything you know
01:02:58.280is just modern and new and novel so i'm gonna go to church and which church am i gonna go to i'm
01:03:03.960gonna go to this uh this old cathedral with robes and tassels and incense and stained glass and you
01:03:11.140know we'll throw in a few images you know for good measure i'd like some statues over here some
01:03:15.600statues over there um i want to hear gregorian chants i want to you know like i want i want old
01:03:21.420um because the regime the authority is new the the authority is relativism so they want
01:03:28.440transcendence and objectivity the the it's modernity so they want tradition the the authority
01:03:35.040the the regime is anti-religion so they want religion it's leftist so they want right wing1.00
01:03:40.580um whereas women here's here's my point the irony is that all these feminist women1.00
01:03:45.360it's not that the heart of feminism is that they're rebelling against authority0.99
01:03:50.220um they're actually submitting to authority and the authority is telling them to be feminist0.87
01:03:55.580and so they are and so they are so right now what you have is you actually have a switch
01:04:01.180um whereas again 30 40 50 years ago men were leaving the church and there was still this
01:04:07.140hangover of this authority and dogma of church is good, Christianity is good, tradition is good.
01:04:14.200So women were submitting to authority and being in church. Men were kicking against the goads0.92
01:04:19.660and leaving, exiting the church. Now you have the reverse effect. Men are coming back to church,
01:04:25.520women are leaving the church. And I think one of the determining factors is the switch of the
01:04:30.320authority. So women are actually not really changing in their ontology, in the way that0.57
01:04:38.220they've been wired by God. What are they doing at the end of the day? They're raging against the1.00
01:04:41.820machine. They're being an individual. They're being unique. Nope. Women are doing what women
01:04:47.160have always done. They're submitting to authority. It's what they do. They're submitting to authority.1.00
01:04:54.280The problem is that the authority was hijacked, fully taken over, a full hostile takeover by anti-religion, anti-tradition, a bunch of communists.
01:05:07.480And so women are actually submitting to authority by submitting to communism, submitting to leftism, all those kinds of things.
01:05:14.560And men are coming back to the church.
01:05:17.180And it's just kind of this musical chairs and we're just swapping.
01:05:20.320But my point is that they keep missing each other.0.98
01:05:22.560they just they keep missing each other the women are in this space looking for men
01:05:26.740and the men are in this space looking for women and currently right now i think women
01:05:31.840on the whole are in the wrong space left-coded spaces and men are in a good space right-coded
01:05:37.480spaces but a big part of it for me comes down to um some of those things i think are innate and
01:05:43.240you're not going to be able to change to me a lot of it comes down to the system of this this
01:05:48.040prolonged interim period where men and women young single men and women are are just on their
01:05:55.120own in adolescence perpetuated um and in some cases tragically indefinitely i think like the
01:06:02.360only way to really fix it um is is to that women would go from one head to another from a father
01:06:11.580to a husband uh that they would get married young and until they're married that they would still
01:06:17.140stay under their father's authority um and and honestly it's back to what you said wes so like
01:06:23.960how does that how do you how do you get rid of this this on average 12 year interim period of
01:06:29.640a woman who's 18 and leaves her father but doesn't join a husband until she's 30 how do you get rid
01:06:35.160of that uh well historically the way you got rid of that is there would be nowhere for her to go0.99
01:06:40.440in between right there's there's no there's no uh women in college what's that women in the
01:06:48.840workforce come again yeah what do you mean like at home what do you what do you mean women in the
01:06:54.040workforce you mean like working at home working at home cooking cows cooking yeah okay yeah that
01:06:59.340like um no like what that that's you know like but you've got even the the alleged conservatives i
01:07:05.720saw like tp usa doing a women's leadership summit women's leadership and complete with former only
01:07:13.800fans models yes you know seriously with a former only fans model uh being one of the speakers i
01:07:19.580remember seeing that and you know retweeting and saying women's leadership um is just like
01:07:23.880where women get together and and they're told who leaders are and and so it's like a conference
01:07:30.680about husbands and fathers you know and like you know like that no that's not what it is it's um
01:07:37.160it's a conference for women to be leaders um and women can lead but they uh if they want to lead
01:07:44.680they will lead alone they will be alone um and it's just that's not the way god created men and
01:07:51.220women men are not going to want to marry a three you know piece you know suit piece boss babe you0.60
01:07:57.660know um whatever uh that's just that's never gonna gonna happen and so yeah i think a big a big thing
01:08:04.420going back to what west said is you're going to have to have you know societal changes writ large
01:08:10.640um that ultimately bring bring women back home and in the case of single women it would be bringing
01:08:17.260them back to their father and they would be wanting to start their own household their own1.00
01:08:22.180family and skipping that step of indefinite independence. They would know that for me to
01:08:30.240leave, right? I mean, all this is biblical for this reason, not college, not career. For this
01:08:36.440reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and cling close, cling fast to his wife. The purpose0.99
01:08:44.200of leaving your initial household that you grew up in is to start your own. The Bible doesn't give
01:08:52.140any other reason for for leaving uh your first family but to start your own family and so i i
01:09:01.440feel like until until we um until we find a way whether it's through tax benefits or legislation
01:09:09.400or you know this that or the other until we find a way to create less opportunity and i know some
01:09:16.500people hear this and say that sounds cruel uh it's not it's merciful it will lead women's happiness
01:09:21.180is at an all-time low it will make women married women are generally happy that's right single
01:09:27.060women are miserable miserable yeah with their their glass of wine and their cats they're0.98
01:09:31.080miserable so this is not we're not trying to disparage women we love women we'd like them0.99
01:09:34.940to be happy and the bible tells us um what what is for our good and and where and how we will be
01:09:42.440most happy and so in love for both men and women um until we as a society make some kind of
01:09:50.140systematic changes to where um there's nowhere for women to go but marriage uh then i don't think
01:09:59.040you're going to see it changed and here's the thing um sometimes you can black pill and you
01:10:03.640can think like well i don't you know we have such godless leadership you know even all the you know
01:10:08.200alleged conservatives are feminists you know and like trump's not going to do that and this person's
01:10:13.180not going to do that and um you can black pill and despair pretty easily but the thing that
01:10:18.120encourages me is just remembering that at the end of the day, it's not just making conscious
01:10:21.880decisions and the leadership of our country, doing the right thing that aligns with scripture.
01:10:26.300If that were the only hope, then yeah, we're, you know, up the creek without a paddle because I
01:10:33.200don't have a whole lot of faith in politicians, but God is exceedingly merciful. And by way of
01:10:39.320providence, he will sometimes in his mercy force us back onto the rails that we in our rebellion
01:10:46.260God off of. And he'll do it even though we didn't make that conscious decision without sending
01:10:50.860revival to the land, without changing our hearts. He'll just get us back on the rails. And then in
01:10:55.900his mercy, the heart changed and those kinds of things will eventually follow. And one of the
01:11:00.240ways that God could do that by his providence, there's a number, but one is AI. Artificial
01:11:05.800intelligence is taking jobs, but it will be taking, mark my words, it will be taking female1.00
01:11:12.840jobs disproportionately it's not taking trash truck collectors nope garbage truck men yep it0.95
01:11:18.060is going to be taking uh the some of the the first jobs that will be replaced and are being
01:11:23.920replaced will be um the most meaningless jobs admin hr like i mean it's seriously like you go
01:11:35.180to your your your work tomorrow morning your corporation and you look at which departments
01:11:41.500would it be great if we got rid of and then look and see who works there is it men or is it women
01:11:49.560right your hr department all these all these kind of pencil pushing uh busy work admin jobs uh these0.99
01:11:57.460kinds of things uh these will be replaced and the statistics are that disproportionately women are1.00
01:12:03.460the ones who work these kinds of jobs uh the the very type of jobs um that are most easy easily0.93
01:12:11.920replaceable and uh and i i think on it so that my point is even without revival coming to the land
01:12:17.500although we pray for that and hope that that's the case but even without a spiritual revival or
01:12:22.460a conscious heart change and a change of of course that we actually make as a decision
01:12:27.960i think that just providentially in god's mercy through technological innovation and god can also
01:12:34.680you know another thing that can get a society on path real quick we don't wish for but just saying
01:12:39.480historically uh that can bring a nation together and get men into their god-given roles and women
01:12:45.960back into their god-given war conflict someone pointed out in the chat totally tragedy uh calamity
01:12:52.520famine um uh economic crash all like so whether it's technological innovation like ai or whether
01:12:58.980it's a war or whether it's a crash in the market or whether it's this or that there are a lot of
01:13:02.860ways that god can actually force us to return to nature right because because all this is is at
01:13:09.580some level it's it's the fact that we have this artificial we've we've found a way to manipulate
01:13:15.680God's natural order and we've created this artificial world and all it needs is just a
01:13:22.820little bit of pressure just a little bit of providential pressure and it pops like a bubble
01:13:29.700and it's not sustainable and all of a sudden it's like okay like we've got you know we've got this
01:13:35.780task and it requires physical strength okay it's going to be you know it's going to be like 99%
01:13:41.620men um and uh we've we've got this over here and like and it's going to be women and so um my point
01:13:49.060is that you know if you're looking out to your political leaders or you're looking even at the
01:13:53.040church which can be incredibly discouraging looking at the evangelical church whatever it is
01:13:57.120and you're thinking we don't have the grit we don't have the will i don't see anybody you know
01:14:01.640it doesn't seem like people are willing to change they just want to double down and just continue to
01:14:06.380be a bunch of libs um there's a lot of truth in that um however at the end of the day we don't
01:14:12.880get to decide and uh history has proven and scripture in the old testament with israel
01:14:18.340like how many times was israel off the rails and god said you know what will fix this
01:14:23.460um everyone getting together and just digging deep inside and making the right decision nope
01:14:29.520you know what fix this 70 years of captivity that'll fix it real quick all it'll take is 70
01:14:35.100years and everybody's going to have a great attitude. And people are going to repent of
01:14:41.620their sin, repent of their idolatry. And God has done it countless times with this society and
01:14:48.780this civilization and this empire. God is sovereign, just as sovereign as he ever was.
01:14:54.860And in his mercy, he can turn up the faucet of pain or providence by AI or whatever it is,
01:15:02.220pain or providence and he can turn up those faucets and push us back on the rails despite
01:15:08.300ourselves and that gives me hope so we need to we need to deal with the chat we've got some super
01:15:16.740chats that we want to make sure to honor and then we've got some good questions that you guys have
01:15:20.260sent in which we appreciate do we have one more commercial break we do okay let's go to one more
01:15:24.600commercial break and we'll come back and we'll start dealing with the chat are you a christian
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01:19:25.100so welcome back we're gonna hit the questions we've got a number of questions and some super
01:19:28.860chats, but practically on advice, you gave some to the men. But I did want to round it off with
01:19:33.320one just really practical way of framing it. So this was a great post from a couple days ago,
01:19:38.480and I'm just going to read it, and I think it says it really well. So this is someone kind of
01:19:42.360using that frame. Have you got a young man? Yeah, bro, there's like zero young women at my church.
01:19:47.200I'll never find a date. Oh, that's tough, dude. What church do you go to? Yeah, it's a church in
01:19:51.600the Reformed Ecclesiastical Theological Associate Reform Denomination of the Southeast. We broke0.76
01:19:56.900off from the RPCNA back in the 90s when Joe Moorcraft went liberal for not making Alex Jones
01:20:01.360an elder. There's like five churches in our denomination scattered through the South.
01:20:05.020The biggest one has nearly 70 members and is only 40 miles from the nearest town. And he's being a
01:20:10.240little bit funny about that. Like we're the super hyper niche, you know, we're the only truly
01:20:14.480reformed church. No, not just in our town, not just in our state, but in the entire United States.
01:20:20.080But practically speaking, men, if you want to get married, we have lost a lot of those cultural
01:20:24.900institutions that bring men and women together. There's a reason people marry their high school1.00
01:20:29.060sweetheart. Because they were brought together in high school. They were brought together in sports.
01:20:32.860He's on the field playing football. She's a cheerleader. You're up in the bleachers cheering
01:20:36.480for the same team. But a lot of those contexts in adulthood that bring people together, we've lost
01:20:42.340them. Or we will bring people together, but we'll do them for quirky, silly reasons. We'll do it for
01:20:46.840Halloween parties and Friendsgiving, not realizing the reason we did these dances and social events
01:20:53.100and everything was for men and women to get together, to hang out, and to spark relationships.
01:20:57.840So a lot of that has been lost. You don't have those contexts to meet and interact with women
01:21:01.820as much anymore. And practically, especially if you want a godly woman, less and less the United
01:21:06.620States is godly, you're going to have to go where godly women are. If we're being perfectly honest,0.99
01:21:12.300your OPC church of 25 people, they're not there. Now, never are we to go to what would be a non-church,
01:21:18.460what would be a church with women pastors, for instance.
01:21:21.860But practically speaking, I think it is perfectly permissible.
01:21:24.300And I've had men ask me this, to say, I have these convictions.
01:21:28.120I'm Reformed. I'm Calvinistic. I'm theonomic. I'm this, that, or the other.
01:21:31.820But practically speaking, I also want to be married and have a family.
01:21:34.980And I'm going to go down the street to this church that's a lot more like John MacArthur's church,
01:21:39.260but it's male elders. They preach the gospel, the singing.
01:21:43.060You know, they got the guitars and the rock band.1.00
01:21:45.500but here's the deal there's a thousand single women in their 20s and 30s there that's right1.00
01:21:49.720that is it's not required but i think it is very much so permissible i'm going to go there i'm
01:21:55.140going to serve the lord and i'm going to spend time around men or women for women it would be
01:21:59.920kind of the opposite going to a good reformed church like ogden or like ours to be around
01:22:04.000single men i think that's perfectly permissible to do yeah i agree um categories uh true church
01:22:10.340versus false church, and then good church versus bad church. You can be in a true church that's not
01:22:16.800a good church. It's an okay church. It's a decent church, but it is true, meaning it is, you know,
01:22:24.900lowercase o, orthodox. It's not heretical. It does constitute as a church, and it's not the best
01:22:32.360church or even necessarily close to the best church, but to go there for the purpose of snagging0.71
01:22:39.040a bride is, I think, permissible. We had a young man who moved out with us back in 20200.98
01:22:47.180from California, where I pastored previously. And so he moved out when we all moved, myself and my
01:22:55.640family and about seven other families. And he was the only single man who came with us at the end
01:23:00.820of 2020 and um and about two three years ago uh we our church was still smaller at the time
01:23:08.480and i remember he called me and and he was all worked up you know like he like he felt terrible
01:23:14.860about it you could tell he felt guilty but he also just felt sad because he loved our church
01:23:18.800and he loved me and it was no hard feelings uh but he said i there's this other church and i've
01:23:23.320been attending you know some of their midweek programs you know for singles and young adults
01:23:28.000and things like that. But I'm still kind of an outsider because I'm a member at your church and
01:23:35.900I go to your church on Sunday and I want to join this church. And I knew the pastor and he was a
01:23:40.940good guy. He knows how controversial I am and all that kind of stuff. And he's always treated me
01:23:44.560with kindness. But the church is just not quite as conservative as our churches, but it's a true
01:23:50.780church um it they love the bible um they're they're lowercase o orthodox and uh they're not
01:23:57.840heretics um they they do some things differently than we do and there's some topics that they
01:24:03.140probably won't address that we would be willing to address they're not as liturgical um when it
01:24:08.680comes to their order of worship uh there's a little bit of the rock band you know it's more
01:24:13.000tasteful than some churches they don't have smoke machines and things like that but but it is you
01:24:17.840know a little bit more of a concert uh that you know we're acapella in our singing um but i love
01:24:23.440that because it's here's a young man who cares deeply about theology has been you know um in in
01:24:29.020my church and was willing to move across the country uh to come with us and all these things
01:24:33.980and yet um he realized i i can't afford to be an ideologue i i don't want to be um an an ideologue