The NXR Podcast - THE LIVESTREAM - What Authority Does a Husband Really Have？

00:00:00.000 Much uproar has been had in recent weeks about the Christian doctrine of submission and authority

00:00:10.940 within marriage. What has been the most controversial, however, is not simply the

00:00:15.600 concept of the doctrine itself or the original biblical text in question, but the application

00:00:21.720 of the principle. A simple illustration of the practical, functional authority of a husband

00:00:27.680 in the home from a sermon has been clipped and now been viewed millions of times resulting

00:00:33.220 in significant backlash. But is this teaching of the Bible really all that controversial?

00:00:39.960 Is it so unthinkable that someone in the home has final authority over important issues?

00:00:45.920 Tune in now as we discuss this viral clip and the authority that a husband really has.

00:00:57.680 All right. Welcome back, GA. Good afternoon, gentlemen. It's good to be back here. We're

00:01:06.940 going to be talking about everyone's favorite topic, patriarchy and authority. How'd you know

00:01:11.980 that's my favorite topic? It was a wild guess. There was a couple topics, but I was like, that

00:01:15.460 one might be up there. Now we're gonna be talking about authority, talking about patriarchy. I want

00:01:19.360 to lay a little bit of a groundwork though for this. And the groundwork is that authority is

00:01:24.240 inevitable. Authority is inevitable in every single context. So the reason we have authority

00:01:28.940 in political systems, we have authority in the military, and we even have authority into the

00:01:33.440 home, which we'll get to, is that all of these systems are aimed at doing something. So the

00:01:38.120 military has to function. Individuals, I was in the military for four years, individuals have

00:01:42.840 objectives and missions, things to accomplish. And so somebody has to be vested with the decision

00:01:48.900 making, has to be vested with the authority to say, this is what we're going to do, and this is

00:01:53.940 how we're going to accomplish it. That's the military. Politically, in the same way, we vest

00:01:58.560 a large amount of authority, a lot of power underneath the bounds of the Constitution,

00:02:03.240 ideally. Supposed to be. Supposed to be. It lays out the limits of their authority. We vest a lot

00:02:08.340 of authority in a Supreme Court of nine individuals, a very small amount. And really, it's just the

00:02:13.280 same kind of one to two individuals that really make the decision on that court. We vest a lot

00:02:17.720 of authority in them to make the final decision, not because they're always going to get it right,

00:02:21.280 but because functionally it helps society keep moving and it makes a decision and we go forward

00:02:27.000 from it. So don't be thinking as we talk about the home, we talk about husbands and wives and

00:02:31.300 children. Man, this is so backwards that in 2024, we'd be talking about authority and power and

00:02:37.940 leadership and all these different things. It's not whether we're going to have authority. So

00:02:41.600 it's not maybe there will be authority in the home. Maybe there won't be. It's who will have

00:02:45.080 the final authority. I think of parents and children. If the parents are not in authority

00:02:49.680 and dictating and training leading the children the children will rule the home yep with their

00:02:54.380 caprice with their whatever it is that they want in that given moment which is common you see that

00:02:58.820 a lot right so it's not whether we're going to have authority don't think about man it'd just

00:03:02.900 be so nice if we get away from these systems of authority and structure and power and all this

00:03:06.960 it's who is going to have the authority not whether but which not whether but who exactly

00:03:12.600 i want to jump in there for a second i know this is not quite the direction we planned on going but

00:03:17.720 you said something there that really triggered a thought for me, Wes. And you said that someone

00:03:22.480 has to make a decision because that can allow society, the platoon, the business to keep moving

00:03:29.220 in a direction. And I would suspect that among all of the things that we have wrong about marriage

00:03:36.320 and leadership and authority, one of them is we have failed to understand the purpose and direction

00:03:43.360 of a family a family is not simply finding a lifelong cuddle partner that you can watch movies

00:03:49.720 with on saturdays and you know you can go on long walks with in the evening have your dog

00:03:54.600 that you treat like a kid like if if that's what you think the purpose of family is and the

00:03:59.860 direction of family is just this mutual snuggle fest then the idea of patriarchy and authority

00:04:06.640 is jarring, it's startling, it's alarming. But if there's a higher direction, which Scripture

00:04:13.460 lays out for family and purpose, if it's supposed to be going somewhere that God has said, then

00:04:19.560 that's largely going to change our view of why authority is necessary, why it's inevitable,

00:04:25.060 and why it's even good. It's even good. It's not just inevitable, it's good. So our definition

00:04:30.460 and understanding of what a family is and the direction that God expects it to go in is really

00:04:34.620 fundamental here yeah that's a good friendship is the only relationship where there isn't a power

00:04:38.360 dynamic because friendship is oriented towards time together yeah but if you and a friend start

00:04:43.120 a business you are going to have to decide who's the majority shareholder yeah remember at a class

00:04:48.040 where a startup entrepreneur lawyer he came in he said don't ever do 50 50 because when you do that

00:04:53.860 and this decision comes up and you both share equal power it's going to be impossible to make

00:04:57.900 a decision so friendship doesn't have authority but the minute it's aimed at exactly like you said

00:05:03.160 I want to produce this. I want to generate this. Be productive. A mission. You have to say this

00:05:09.180 person is the final say, at least in this arena. And the reality is that without a shared mission,

00:05:14.840 the friendship eventually shrivels. It dries up. So there's face-to-face element of relationship,

00:05:20.460 and there's also shoulder-to-shoulder. Face-to-face is companionship and intimacy, friendship.

00:05:26.440 And certainly, we're not saying that a marriage doesn't have that. We're simply saying that it

00:05:30.080 has more. It doesn't have less than that, but it has more than that. But whether it's a platonic

00:05:34.600 friendship with the same sex, two men who are friends, even that friendship will wane over time

00:05:40.960 if it's only face-to-face and companionship, and it's never shoulder-to-shoulder in terms of a

00:05:46.480 shared mission. And certainly in the home, not only would you have that with another man in a

00:05:52.080 business partner relationship or in a local church as you're seeking to promote the gospel of Jesus

00:05:58.420 Christ and make disciples and win the world. But certainly you have all of that and more

00:06:03.780 in the marriage relationship. The marriage relationship is not only companionship. That

00:06:09.180 is a piece of it. God looked down and saw Adam and said, this is good. But then also God is the

00:06:14.240 one, not Adam, but God is the one who initially takes note that it is not good for the man to be

00:06:19.660 alone. So God recognizes a need for companionship. He recognizes the loneliness of Adam. But even in

00:06:26.940 that, to be fair, I think that you can accurately read into the text there without it being just

00:06:32.880 raw, unfiltered eisegesis. I think that you can exegete by way of implication that God is

00:06:39.200 recognizing Adam's need for companionship. But even that is not explicitly in the text. All

00:06:44.120 that's explicitly there is that God says it's not good for him to be alone. And a perfectly fair 1.00

00:06:49.000 reading would be, it's not good for him to be alone because the mission that I'm going to assign

00:06:53.120 to him requires a helpmate. So even that, we know that God explicitly, just a few verses later,

00:07:00.300 begins to talk about the dominion mandate to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and

00:07:04.980 subdue it, and that that cannot be done by Adam alone, that he requires a suitable helper. And so

00:07:10.800 it's very possible that God is saying only that it's not good for the man to be alone in relation

00:07:16.360 to this mission, he needs a helpmate in order to fulfill that. I think that it's also a fair

00:07:23.620 reading in the text to say it's also not good for him to be alone in terms of his need for

00:07:27.360 companionship. But my point is that the shoulder-to-shoulder aspect, that's what's explicitly

00:07:33.840 mentioned. The face-to-face aspect, although I think that's a fair reading, you would have to

00:07:39.140 read that implicitly, not explicitly. So if anything, the shoulder-to-shoulder shared mission,

00:07:43.980 that is the clear purpose of marriage the clearest purpose of marriage and that's been

00:07:48.500 held by the church down through the centuries until of course you know the last you know

00:07:53.020 few years yep all right so we'll go ahead and we'll roll a clip so this has been viewed now

00:08:00.660 it'd be impossible to keep track across it's impossible the difference has been shared by

00:08:03.800 so many yeah so many platforms i mean it was like uh 750 000 times uh a few months ago before it

00:08:11.640 went viral right again it went semi-viral in the past within you know kind of the mostly within the

00:08:17.700 reformed camp and this is from when this was from a little while ago now oh yeah it was a long time

00:08:22.080 yeah i think it was last spring yeah yeah um yeah so i preached this sermon and this was just

00:08:26.440 this wasn't even really the sermon it was just one small segment where i was illustrating the point

00:08:30.300 but that yeah it was about a year ago and then it went semi-viral uh when uh a pastor in new york

00:08:36.620 who is a reformed, he's a reformed conservative. For the most part, we would differ on multiple

00:08:42.400 issues. I would be squarely to his right, but he is still certainly a conservative pastor,

00:08:50.320 but he shared the clip and he shared it as kind of a gotcha. He didn't share it positively. It

00:08:55.700 wasn't like, hey, here's a great point from Joel Webb and my bud. It was, no, we were disagreeing

00:09:00.640 on other things. I think it was namely the book that I had just published, Fight by Flight,

00:09:05.480 and where i was making an argument uh that not every single individual christian um but that

00:09:11.480 many christians probably shouldn't be behind enemy lines that right now that you know and

00:09:16.600 everyone balkanization you're this is the right arm of the left and you're just creating the

00:09:21.380 scenario you know for the wf to come in and more easily capsize right into their hands or or maybe

00:09:28.420 we're not that smart maybe maybe we're not uh you know plants for george soros maybe we're just

00:09:34.140 saying that it seems like a basic biblical principle that Christians would live in community

00:09:37.880 with one another, and especially Christians who are parents and have children, that they

00:09:41.840 would do everything within their power ordinarily to secure a future for their kids.

00:09:49.180 And so anyway, so I'd written this little book, Fight by Flight, Why Leaving Blue Places

00:09:54.760 is Loving Blue Places. 0.98

00:09:55.900 I was basically trying to provide an argument to clear the consciences of some Christians 0.51

00:10:00.640 who were in deep blue pockets where they had very little provisions and very little protections for

00:10:07.600 their family and for their children and struggling immensely and wanted to move, but were in their

00:10:15.140 conscience felt bound and unable to leave their city in large part because of their pastors of

00:10:21.520 their local churches that they attended saying, well, that's the antithesis to the entirety of

00:10:28.760 the gospel that you know christ uh i bet he was real comfortable in heaven but he laid down his

00:10:33.440 comfort and his privileges and came to earth for the city in the city for the city you know and

00:10:38.000 and so um and yes here's here's my point my point is not to eradicate that that is a viable

00:10:43.880 legitimate valid biblical category we call it missionary missionaries are a thing but i think

00:10:49.720 that at the as the united states becomes more polarized um and as certain portions the the you

00:10:55.380 know, the country as a whole, certainly, but certain portions of the United States, even more

00:10:59.460 so, become increasingly hostile towards Christ and his people, Christians in the Christian worldview,

00:11:04.740 and those who want to live Christianly lives, then I think that we're going to always have

00:11:10.340 missionaries in the providence of God. He'll reserve for himself a remnant, but we're going

00:11:14.620 to need to begin to think about certain pockets of our country the way historically we've had no

00:11:20.520 problem thinking about other countries, right? So we say, you know, every Christian in a lower 1.00

00:11:24.740 lowercase in the general sense, every Christian is called to be a lowercase m missionary. That is, 0.93

00:11:29.460 we're all called to do the work of an evangelist. We're all called to be ambassadors of Christ

00:11:33.120 and to go out to the best of our ability by grace and fueled by the power of the Spirit to carry out

00:11:38.020 the Great Commission wherever we are. But not everybody is called to be an uppercase, a capital

00:11:43.040 M missionary in the proper sense. So same with a pastor, right? Every man should be a pastor of his

00:11:49.620 home, lowercase p, but not every man is called to the office of elder. There are specific, you know,

00:11:54.100 Titus 1 and 1 Timothy 3. So we'd recognize every Christian man is going to be a pastor in the

00:12:00.620 general sense. And every Christian, whether he's a man or not, or a woman, or even a Christian

00:12:05.360 child, should be a missionary in the lowercase m general sense. But not everyone will be 0.88

00:12:11.820 appointed to the formal office of a pastor or the formal office of a missionary. And so in the same

00:12:17.820 way that we've thought about other countries like the Sudan, we would not send any Christian or 0.72

00:12:23.240 every Christian to be a missionary in the Sudan. We just want to do it. And so my whole point with

00:12:27.640 this little book was to say, I think we're going to, a time is coming, and I think we're already

00:12:32.820 there in, at least in some part, but I think over time, it's only going to become even more and more

00:12:38.200 blatantly obvious that we're going to have to start thinking about certain places like

00:12:41.740 San Francisco, California, or Manhattan, New York, the way we have previously thought about

00:12:47.680 the Sudan. This is not a place for your average Christian to live. The average Christian has not 0.99

00:12:52.320 been sovereignly and providentially equipped by God. This is a place for missionaries, not in the 1.00

00:12:56.320 general sense, but the proper sense. So I wrote this little book and Andy Woodard is a pastor in

00:13:01.740 New York City. And so naturally, if people from his church read this book and were convinced by

00:13:07.880 it, it's not good for business. So anyways, because he was unable to engage me on the merit

00:13:13.700 of my arguments, because they're very simple arguments as I've just laid out, right? That's

00:13:17.440 hard to disagree with. It's like, well, that's so incredibly reasonable. How can I argue? So what

00:13:22.140 you do instead is you clip up, you know, a portion of a man's sermon that you think makes him look 0.96

00:13:27.220 like a misogynist chauvinistic pig, and you put that out for everyone to see. And really what 0.80

00:13:32.000 you're trying to do as a conservative reformed pastor is just simply, you know, you're not trying

00:13:36.220 to be a monster. You're just trying to crush this other pastor and ruin his life. That's all you're

00:13:40.280 trying to do. You know, you're not trying to, you know, hurt every conservative Christian in the

00:13:44.000 world, just this one. But the sad, tragic reality is that Andy Woodard has, in his attempts to crush

00:13:52.660 me, has been picked up by a ton of Democrats and former congressmen and major accounts,

00:13:59.260 and they want to crush, they don't want to crush Joel. They want to crush Joel and Andy. They want

00:14:03.880 to crush both of us and all of Christianity. And so Andy Woodard, you know, unwittingly like Gollum, 0.81

00:14:09.540 you know, in the end actually was the one who destroyed the ring. And Andy Woodard unwittingly,

00:14:14.580 you know, he's just trying to, you know, keep members in his church and beat Joel Webin on his

00:14:18.400 little fight-by-flight book. But unwittingly, he, you know, said, you know, here is a picture of

00:14:23.740 what, you know, the big, bad boogeyman of, you know, patriarchal, conservative, hands-made tale

00:14:28.720 Christians look like. And the Democrats said, Andy Woodard, well done, son. Thank you so much. 0.95

00:14:34.080 You got us some gold.

00:14:34.540 And boom. And so now it's millions of people going viral everywhere. And the big takeaway

00:14:39.300 from Democrats is not, hey, Andy Woodard is a stand-up guy, but Joel Webin, he's unique.

00:14:43.720 No, they want to crush all of us. So well done, Andy. All right, here is the clip.

00:14:52.520 There are certain books that I've just had to say, hey, I don't know if this is a bad book,

00:14:57.480 but I don't have time to read it. And so you're not going to read it either.

00:15:01.440 we'll read it together

00:15:03.560 i remember recently my wife had a book and i saw her reading it on the couch

00:15:10.360 and it was about pedo-baptism and i said no

00:15:15.300 we're not doing that yet we will become pedo-baptist when i'm ready

00:15:22.480 but my wife's not going to be a pedo-baptist for three years before i am

00:15:27.500 and i don't have time to read it right now i know the arguments will be great i will agree and

00:15:33.760 disagree i'm not sure which arguments are better but for the time being this is what i'm persuaded

00:15:40.060 of and you're not going to outpace me and that's not for the record that's not lazy

00:15:46.000 it can be and you have to be honest with yourself and discerning of your motives

00:15:51.480 okay um i'll give it to you guys first what do you think you were there yeah when the

00:15:57.440 sermon was preached? Well, I heard a lot of chuckling in the background, and I distinctly

00:16:02.240 remember that the women themselves were chuckling because they know your wife, and they know you,

00:16:07.480 and they know your kids. And, you know, this was clipped out of the context. And you've said in

00:16:14.420 the past, Joel, okay, technically, maybe I could have been more precise about this particular word,

00:16:18.860 that particular word. I could have said outpaced me in theology, in this area.

00:16:23.080 this area um but the the people that were the intended audience were completely fine with what

00:16:31.300 you were saying we understood your overall point and you know as as this topic has festered and

00:16:39.320 bubbled up and gotten bigger and bigger you know i think that the list could be much bigger of the

00:16:46.120 things that a husband ought to have a good and necessary hand over as far as what his wife and

00:16:55.240 his children are doing and being exposed to. I just don't understand the logic of, well,

00:17:02.840 the husband has to be the one to get out of bed at night when there's maybe an intruder downstairs.

00:17:08.120 He ought to protect her. But then to say, well, he ought to have no regard for protecting her

00:17:14.440 with what she reads, what she meditates on,

00:17:18.220 what she is influenced by.

00:17:21.240 I mean, the same, I would apply this same principle to 0.97

00:17:24.540 if your wife is reading a bunch of trashy romance novels, 0.54

00:17:27.580 husband, you have an obligation to say, 0.56

00:17:29.280 look, honey, don't read these anymore.

00:17:30.840 These are not good for you.

00:17:32.200 Right.

00:17:32.400 Like this idea of protecting, leading, guiding,

00:17:36.120 shepherding, encouraging, feeding with the word

00:17:39.000 that Ephesians 5 is so full of,

00:17:41.300 we're barely scratching the surface.

00:17:42.760 I mean, men and women have gotten so far from this topic that even just the smallest, well, don't get ahead of me in this area, is creating this huge outrage.

00:17:53.180 Right.

00:17:53.420 With that real quick, I get, you know, to play the devil's advocate, I could hear, you know, the counterpoint being, well, you know, a book on pedo-baptism is not the same as trashy romance novels.

00:18:00.560 And all three of us would say, of course.

00:18:02.340 Yep.

00:18:02.540 Absolutely.

00:18:04.100 But, you know, in the clip, you know, I was very clear in saying, no, you're not going to read this.

00:18:09.520 You're not going to outpace me.

00:18:10.600 And I think that phrase right there

00:18:11.780 is what upsets so many people.

00:18:12.920 But you're not going to outpace me.

00:18:14.480 Ali Beth picked it up, you know, 0.57

00:18:15.740 and she was seething, you know.

00:18:18.240 But, you know, it's not surprising.

00:18:21.260 But you're not going to outpace me.

00:18:22.980 The obvious context, implication,

00:18:25.600 what I was saying is in this area,

00:18:27.200 for one, I told you guys, you know, in the past,

00:18:29.320 and you guys know this, 0.85

00:18:30.560 but my wife is an RN by God's grace. 1.00

00:18:32.660 She works full time in the home with our children. 0.99

00:18:34.420 But before we had multiple children in the home, 0.98

00:18:36.420 she was working as a nurse. 0.99

00:18:37.360 My wife has always, based off of her knowledge and experience, she's always outpaced me in 0.99

00:18:43.320 the realm of medicine.

00:18:44.420 My wife, and that's just to name one area, but still to this day, I ultimately am responsible

00:18:49.340 as the head of our family for making decisions for the health of the children.

00:18:53.560 But I am constantly relying and leaning heavily on the expertise and the knowledge of my wife

00:18:58.800 to be a good and competent deputy who reinforces my decisions that I can go to like a general

00:19:06.700 would and you know he would go to one of his lieutenants and say look you've been over here

00:19:10.340 with these troops on this battlefield for this long um give me brief me right a lot of with

00:19:16.240 authority and chain of command a lot of it's not that the person at the top of the authority

00:19:19.660 is the most proficient in every single uh subject under the sun because because that's not a matter

00:19:26.120 of laziness or fallenness that's a matter of simply finitude if you're a human being a creature

00:19:30.500 a finite um creature then there's just only so much time in the day and only so much you can know

00:19:34.820 So what does a president do?

00:19:37.140 A president would, he would have all these different people, exactly, and he would rely

00:19:42.540 on their expertise and he'd say, brief me, brief me, brief me, right?

00:19:45.920 So you read 5,000 books, but now I want 5,000 words in an essay form, and then I'm going

00:19:53.240 to make the decision.

00:19:54.520 So with medical decisions, and like when we were working through our convictions on vaccines,

00:19:59.600 you know, Meg, can you help me?

00:20:02.400 Can you brief me on this?

00:20:03.660 and she had much more knowledge than i did i relied heavily on our knowledge but then ultimately i

00:20:08.320 made the decision and in that decision along with 99.9 of the decisions that i make we both agreed

00:20:14.180 but it was ultimately my decision whether we agreed or not because back to what west's point

00:20:19.040 it's not whether but which um because that's one of those scenarios right you're up for your four

00:20:23.340 month appointment there's you know um 1700 vacs uh vaccines uh that your child is scheduled for

00:20:30.100 for in our modern medical world insisting they get the yeah the p your doctor is insisting that

00:20:34.760 oh my goodness they need to get all of them um you know with with the aluminum and and mercury

00:20:39.940 and everything included and not just one at a time they need to get you know 17 of them all in

00:20:44.420 one injection you know and and yeah the kid may not wake up for the next 11 hours or whatever you

00:20:48.760 know but it's it's for their health it's for their safety so you know so my point is that day is

00:20:53.480 coming and and it's not whether but which you're either going to say yes or no there's not a a

00:20:59.440 third way Tim Keller option. There's this, you're going to say, no, we're not going to get the

00:21:03.160 vaccine or, or we are going to do it. But, but some decision has to be made. And, and that's,

00:21:11.380 that's just the nature of life. My point, you're absolutely right that the romance novel is

00:21:16.980 different. My point is protection. If your wife, if my wife is going to get, start reading something

00:21:25.300 that would fundamentally change the dynamic understanding mission how our family operates

00:21:32.040 and then is going to be coming back to me and the children and saying we need to change this

00:21:37.100 not just a small thing like you know let's start drinking two percent milk instead of whole milk

00:21:41.820 right like to switch from a credo baptist to a pedo baptist position is going to cause a lot of

00:21:49.700 strife. It's going to cause a lot of arguments between the two. It's going to cause her to view

00:21:56.180 child-rearing differently. It's going to cause her a lot of fear because now she's thinking,

00:22:02.940 well, our children aren't protected, they're not in the covenant, things like that. So the reason

00:22:06.320 I went to protection is it's right for a man to evaluate, wait a minute, you're reading this,

00:22:12.380 and that has the potential to fundamentally alter your vision of the mission and direction of our

00:22:18.340 family. And if we're going to do that, that had better be done together. And so I said protection

00:22:23.840 because you're protecting from a lot of fights, a lot of conflicts, a lot of distrust, all of those

00:22:29.860 things. And in that sense, that's why I think it falls under the banner of protection.

00:22:34.060 Yep. Thoughts for us? It's just interesting to see online, mostly women probably, but there's

00:22:41.220 probably a good 30, 40% of men in the comments expressing their outrage. And the man who would

00:22:46.960 get offended on behalf of a woman who herself is not offended is a really sad man uh feodoro

00:22:54.360 that's this novel he writes a lot of you think of the landlady and that's the character is the

00:22:59.460 character who never has the courage or the gumption to ask a woman out so all that he does

00:23:04.680 is play this passive aggressive behind the scenes oh my lady i can't believe that he would do that

00:23:10.620 right uh don't be that guy right getting offended for women that they themselves just said like

00:23:16.200 your wife okay that sounds good not offended not hurt not impeded upon uh my wife was not offended

00:23:22.420 my children were not offended and as far as i know most of the women in the church who were laughing

00:23:27.840 and you know them and their husbands you know even made a point of saying you know that they

00:23:32.440 appreciated that part of the sermon after um they were not offended yeah now i can't speak to every

00:23:37.140 single woman a visitor who might have been there that day but um they were they were okay with it

00:23:42.100 But that's because we have a church that is patriarchal.

00:23:46.380 We have a church that is, you know, we don't shy away from those kinds of texts.

00:23:49.560 You know, things like 1 Timothy 2 or 1 Peter 3, these are, you know, Ephesians 5.

00:23:54.840 These are things that are regularly taught.

00:23:57.080 And people, they don't come to our church despite those points.

00:24:01.940 But for the most part, people who come to our church are specifically looking for a church that holds to biblical patriarchy.

00:24:08.040 And that this is going to teach the Bible as it was taught for, you know, 19 and a half centuries up until, you know, our modern world when, you know, feminism completely took over, you know, with a stranglehold of all of theology and everything now is read through that lens.

00:24:24.680 So all that being said, yeah, that like you were saying, Michael, I agree with you.

00:24:28.680 The pedo-baptism is one of those things that will be a point of contention in a marriage

00:24:35.740 if husband and wife disagree.

00:24:38.140 And then it's like, well, then why don't you just read the book?

00:24:41.000 And, you know, again, to provide context and people in my church know this because...

00:24:44.480 Well, you said it in the clip.

00:24:45.520 Yeah.

00:24:45.800 You said, I don't have time for that right now.

00:24:47.260 Right, exactly.

00:24:47.760 and um before the clip uh before i preached it you know even up you know a year ago i uh it's not as

00:24:55.860 though um i was unaware of the concept of pedo-baptism i've read you know at least a dozen

00:25:00.600 books and have not been persuaded had not read this one book in particular i had heard from my

00:25:07.060 presbyterian friends that i trust that it's particularly persuasive a good book to read

00:25:11.020 on the subject and so i didn't want my wife reading that book without me and the potential

00:25:16.220 of her conscience being bound that this is right. 1.00

00:25:19.260 And now she's in a marriage 0.97

00:25:20.820 where her husband is Credo Baptist. 0.96

00:25:23.380 So you have a Credo Baptist head of home,

00:25:25.240 but her husband also happens to be

00:25:26.820 the senior pastor of her local church.

00:25:29.020 And so if her conscience was bound

00:25:31.240 on this issue before mine,

00:25:33.400 then she would be put in the place

00:25:35.280 where according to her conscience,

00:25:37.640 her husband is sinning against her and the children,

00:25:42.040 that I am depriving our children of a sacrament

00:25:45.940 that is owed to them as the children of believers.

00:25:48.140 And not only am I sinning against our own children,

00:25:50.880 but I'm also sinning against,

00:25:53.920 by not being willing to administer baptism

00:25:57.180 for the infants of other believers in this church, 0.93

00:25:59.360 I'm sinning against her and our family 0.85

00:26:01.000 and all these other families in the local church setting.

00:26:04.020 Brothers and sisters listening,

00:26:05.460 that is not ideal for your marriage. 1.00

00:26:07.380 It is not, diversity is not our greatest strength.

00:26:10.500 It's not, you know, what's our strength?

00:26:12.940 Unity, unity is our strength.

00:26:14.980 And so you don't say, with a heretical book,

00:26:18.000 you can say, no, don't read that,

00:26:19.200 and I'm not gonna read it either.

00:26:20.220 We're never gonna read that.

00:26:21.520 But with something like pedo-baptism,

00:26:23.260 which is certainly not heresy,

00:26:25.020 it could be right, it could be wrong,

00:26:26.940 it's a second-tier issue, but it is important.

00:26:30.320 You wouldn't say, no, we will never be pedo-baptists,

00:26:32.940 even if it's right.

00:26:33.760 And the way that I'm going to maintain

00:26:35.260 my credo-baptist stance is by putting my head in the sand

00:26:37.760 like an ostrich, and that's not a good position to take.

00:26:40.520 But it is perfectly appropriate to say,

00:26:42.600 I've got a lot on my plate right now,

00:26:44.180 and this is the kind of book that deals with a significant enough issue that I don't want you

00:26:50.640 reading that without me. I don't want you outpacing me. People didn't like that phrase,

00:26:54.320 but what I'm saying is I don't want to see you convictionally getting ahead of me in your

00:26:58.960 conscience on this issue to where you now are losing sleep, thinking that your husband is

00:27:05.080 sinning against your children. So let's not get your conscience bound before mine. If our

00:27:11.220 consciences are going to be bound on this matter if we are going to switch teams with our theological

00:27:15.360 conviction let's take this journey together yeah and that's to take it together because i've got

00:27:20.500 other things on my plate right now that means we need to take the journey at a later date we'll do

00:27:24.380 it together perfectly reasonable perfectly within the husband's authority and uh and perfectly uh 0.91

00:27:32.720 caused uh not just uh democrat purple haired baby murdering you know progressives uh but but long

00:27:41.020 before the progressives found this clip and made it go viral and they all got upset there was just

00:27:45.720 as much vitriol within the complementarian heckling hens in the reformed world of both sexes both the

00:27:53.420 men and the women screeching and seething and coping for weeks on end and the only difference

00:28:00.580 as god is my witness the only difference i can tell between uh the pro-biden democrats who have

00:28:07.320 now found the clip, thanks to Andy Woodard. And then the complementarian, you know, reformed

00:28:12.980 Christians is same objections, same seething, same coping, just one group, namely the unbelievers, 0.99

00:28:22.360 curses. And the other one doesn't. But in terms of substance, the same arguments, same outrage, 1.00

00:28:28.740 no difference at all, right? Pam in the office, corporate needs you to see the difference between 0.99

00:28:32.480 these two pictures, reformed complementarian woman and, you know, former congressman who's 1.00

00:28:39.240 Democrat and pro-abortion. What's the difference? They're the same picture.

00:28:43.300 Yep. That's a good call too for our episode we did last week on Baptist covenant theology.

00:28:47.880 There's good reasons to be a Baptist. You can read the books and still feel

00:28:50.920 secure and convinced by scripture for it. Let's go to a break and then we'll come back and continue

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00:31:26.700 All right. Well, welcome back. Michael, I want to pick up on something that you mentioned

00:31:30.840 very briefly. You were talking earlier, and you mentioned about how a husband, for example,

00:31:34.620 is tasked with security and that literally goes up to the physical security of the home if someone

00:31:38.900 just start banging on your door at 2 a.m it would be the man my god it better be the man uh to go

00:31:45.300 down there even if he has not a firearm in the home nothing to defend himself it is him and it's

00:31:50.120 up to his life if there was ever a situation where he could sacrifice himself so his wife and kids

00:31:55.580 could get away or be safe women and children first women and children first it would be expected of

00:31:59.900 the man and what's interesting is we'll give men this responsibility so we'll say men you have the

00:32:04.900 responsibility and lay down your life that's still a culturally expected thing that has carried over

00:32:10.840 yes so we'll say we expect you to do this but but watch what's withheld on the back end so you have

00:32:16.140 the responsibility for the home both in matters of grave physical potentially death danger and you'll

00:32:24.100 also have responsibility over the spiritual state but we'll withhold from them the authority to

00:32:27.840 actually carry it out i think you said it uh authority without responsibility is tyranny

00:32:32.840 so we never give to a young man authority to do anything that he would want to do

00:32:36.680 with no responsibility no accountability but in the same way to give someone responsibility

00:32:41.420 but then not give them the authority to actually carry it out to do his best to lead and to guide

00:32:47.600 in this case the family is exasperation slavery was the word you used for it authority no

00:32:53.000 responsibility tyranny responsibility no authority slavery right and uh and that's what we have

00:32:58.840 currently men are uh slaves i want us to and and real quick in every aspect of society in the home 0.93

00:33:05.200 but also in the workplace as citizens at every in our legal system which favors the woman over

00:33:09.960 the at every single level we live in the divine feminine you know uh pagan god age and men are

00:33:18.460 slaves and if on it honestly if you are you know this um you fancy yourself as a conservative you

00:33:26.060 know beacon for truth and you know here i stand come what may you know if you're one of those

00:33:30.320 pastors i i am a complementarian and i am reformed and i am conservative and i am courageous uh but

00:33:37.720 you constantly are harping on the responsibilities of men man up man up uh but but at the end of the

00:33:43.860 day, you hear a clip like mine where it just gives one practical example on an example of what a

00:33:53.000 husband's authority might look like, and you screech and moan and wail, then you are the

00:33:58.980 problem. You're not the solution. You're not helping. You are one of the slave masters helping

00:34:03.200 to, every time a man might start to break free of his bondage, you're actually the guy who's going

00:34:08.220 over there and putting him back in the chains. And you will lose men. Men are not going to come

00:34:12.500 to your church. Boomers will continue to fill your coffers as donors for the next 15, 20 years. 1.00

00:34:18.220 But that gravy train is going to end very soon and you will lose the men.

00:34:24.240 Yeah. So that's going to come across like, it's going to sound like, oh, you poor men,

00:34:33.120 you've had everything for all of history. And now for the last five minutes, you don't have

00:34:36.660 everything you want. Whiny, whiny, whiny. So I think it would be worth unpacking what we mean

00:34:42.120 by saying that responsibility without authority is slavery.

00:34:46.960 Like, that's a pretty strong claim,

00:34:48.980 but I think it's necessary to explore that a little bit.

00:34:52.920 So I'm gonna throw you guys under the bus.

00:34:55.700 That was your comment, and I'm still mulling it over,

00:34:57.720 but expand on that a little bit.

00:35:00.020 Like, how is that the case?

00:35:01.940 It's slavery because it ties the man to an outcome

00:35:04.880 he has nothing, no control over. 0.54

00:35:07.060 So you say, young man, take this woman and marry her,

00:35:09.820 be committed to her for the rest of your life,

00:35:11.380 have children, and at the end of the day, you're going to stand before God and you're going to

00:35:14.900 answer for how you loved your wife, how you raised your children. However, you don't get any influence,

00:35:20.940 any leadership, any power in that dynamic to actually change the outcome. So maybe he marries

00:35:26.720 a good, godly, pious woman, and there would never be a situation that would ever come up where he

00:35:30.820 would have to say, honey, I think we're going to go this path. I think we're not going to do this.

00:35:35.300 Another man could marry a woman that wants to put their children in public school. And if you take

00:35:39.060 from that man the authority he has to sit back and watch as the mother of his children tries to

00:35:44.400 send them off to public school allow them to have influences that are bad to them he's still

00:35:48.580 responsible you're in charge of this family look how bad that kid's turning up but he's like i can't

00:35:53.100 even she would flip out she would divorce me if i try to take them out of the school that's

00:35:57.180 influencing them discipline him in a biblical way if i tried to take away his video game system

00:36:01.320 that would be one example i'd be excruciating i i know that it's um controversial and i want to be

00:36:07.460 careful in the way that i explained but um corporal punishment in the home uh the bible you

00:36:12.240 know if you say you know uh spare the rod spoil the child you know people say that's not the bible

00:36:17.300 doesn't say that you're right that that is not in the bible um as a principle you could you could

00:36:21.920 interpret it that way what is in the bible is not spare the rod spoil the child what is explicitly

00:36:26.840 in the bible is the one who spares the rod hates his child um so if you're saying that's just a

00:36:32.580 a common misnomer you know spare the rod spoil the child yeah you're right that what the bible

00:36:37.120 actually says is stronger. And I pastorally have dealt with couples in marriages where

00:36:42.980 the woman has held hostage the husband in his authority as a father and has explicitly verbally 0.60

00:36:51.880 threatened him multiple times saying, if you spank our child, if you spank our child, I don't care 1.00

00:36:57.500 how loving it is. I don't care if it's perfectly aligning with the word of God, because at the end

00:37:01.260 of the day, the word of God is precisely my problem. I hate the word of God. If you spank

00:37:07.000 our child and love our child according to what God defines as love, then I will call the police.

00:37:14.320 And in our current law system, that man doesn't stand a chance. And so I've counseled those

00:37:22.520 marriages and I've done it recently. Of course, I'm not going to name names, but that is a

00:37:27.200 reoccurring theme and it's always always the woman i've never had a counseling situation where

00:37:32.120 the man um is saying yeah i think spanking is is icky and oh i just you know i just love my child

00:37:38.720 and you know gentle parenting like no men get it you know men understand men i don't know very men

00:37:44.120 who've bought into the idea of gentle parenting which is a lie so anyway so my my point is like

00:37:48.960 well how is it slavery it's uh bricks with no straw it's pharaoh saying i want the same results

00:37:54.280 but i'm not going to give you the necessary resources to get them so it would be the

00:37:59.140 equivalent of a police officer saying um you still have the duty to serve and protect but you don't

00:38:04.580 get the badge or the gun the car or even the salary yeah um and so then what he's saying is

00:38:12.880 i can't i can't do it well too bad it's still and that's that's your typical complementarian

00:38:19.280 woman today saying, you, husband, you, father, you are responsible to make sure these kids turn

00:38:25.500 out all right, to discipline them, but don't discipline, to teach them, but not with any

00:38:31.340 authority. It's bricks without straw. It is absolutely emasculating and exasperating,

00:38:38.260 and men are enslaved. And we still levy the weight of the man's responsibility before the Lord

00:38:46.480 for the outcome of his parenting.

00:38:51.280 We still, I suppose to be charitable,

00:38:54.080 we would say it's a good and honorable thing

00:38:56.440 to still elevate the final responsibility

00:39:00.220 that a man has for his family.

00:39:01.660 But you're right, it is utterly exasperating

00:39:04.200 to, on the one hand, say you will stand before the Lord.

00:39:07.900 I mean, not just if your kid is a degenerate or not,

00:39:10.640 or some sort of hooligan in society,

00:39:14.580 but you will stand before the Lord

00:39:16.220 And you will be judged by God himself for your faithfulness to the call of being responsible for your family.

00:39:24.180 And then on the other hand, say, but you only have, you know, a broken hammer and a flathead screwdriver.

00:39:31.420 You need a Phillips.

00:39:32.300 That's all you get. 1.00

00:39:34.200 So, yeah, that's very exasperating, very slavish. 1.00

00:39:38.120 Let's hit a comment. 1.00

00:39:38.920 This is a good question.

00:39:40.300 So someone put in the comments, I think I remember it, but maybe Nate, if you could scroll up, it would help.

00:39:44.320 when it comes to the question of how many or when to stop having children how does the husband's

00:39:51.340 authority and the wife how do they work together to reach a decision on that and and let me say

00:39:56.940 this too in a time when i just think of all the health stuff but uh from microplastics and

00:40:03.320 endocrine disruptors there's there's a lot of issues with fertility now and complications that

00:40:08.580 arise from maybe not the first pregnancy or the second but it is not at all unthinkable that

00:40:13.600 couples experience health complications, a mother particularly, that begin to make childbearing

00:40:18.900 more dangerous. I won't necessarily say much more dangerous. But we live in such an industrialized

00:40:24.380 age that there are considerations that I don't think previous generations had to think about.

00:40:29.360 Previous generations encountering problems with these things, with having children,

00:40:33.660 that certainly did happen. We had higher infant mortality rates. But I would say there are new

00:40:37.640 considerations that pastors, and specifically fathers and husbands, are having to think about

00:40:42.620 when it comes to we the preliminary the premier text would be psalm 127 children are a heritage

00:40:48.640 from the lord so children are good so the father takes that he's thinking about that but also i

00:40:53.940 saw what the last pregnancy did to my wife yeah so i want to honor the scripture but i'm also called

00:40:58.580 to love my wife a man is to love his wife as his own body no man hateth his own flesh but loveth it

00:41:03.780 balancing those two and there will be the individual situation is going to dictate the

00:41:08.360 exact answer but what are some of your thoughts on handling that question maybe the husband says

00:41:12.720 i think we should aim to have more the wife says i'm done i'm tapped out child spacing is another

00:41:18.400 question it really depends on what the issue is if the issue is health wise um there are no signs

00:41:27.360 that having another child would would harm or damage my wife we just we think that you know

00:41:34.700 we can't handle anymore.

00:41:36.720 Have another, you know, have more.

00:41:39.080 And step out in faith.

00:41:39.600 Yeah, step out in faith.

00:41:40.900 Trust what God says,

00:41:42.500 that children are a heritage from the Lord.

00:41:45.560 Be wise.

00:41:46.520 If you have a child that, for whatever reason,

00:41:50.080 is going to require more care,

00:41:51.880 like a specialized type of care,

00:41:53.260 okay, that factors in.

00:41:54.520 But in general, if the reason is

00:41:56.040 we just don't think we can,

00:41:58.340 I would say, I would push on that.

00:41:59.700 Say maybe you should.

00:42:01.020 But if it's an issue of needing to be very wise

00:42:04.160 with your wife's health

00:42:05.700 or a particular case with a child that you have

00:42:08.540 that's gonna be requiring

00:42:10.700 like a super abundant amount of time

00:42:13.820 of either shepherding or provision

00:42:16.040 or a medical condition, that sort. 0.99

00:42:20.160 Yeah, I think that a husband needs to hear his wife out.

00:42:25.600 He needs to listen.

00:42:26.920 He needs to make sure he factors those things

00:42:30.880 and doesn't just say,

00:42:32.100 yeah but psalm 127 says right so have another we're not quiverful right as many kids as fast

00:42:37.600 as possible no restrictions yeah and that's probably helpful for the listener to you know

00:42:43.360 to maybe specify a little bit more there there are um christians that in many regards we you know

00:42:49.120 you know we would say are very faithful and we're grateful for them but yeah that's not um our

00:42:54.820 position the quiver fools uh position typically there'd be some nuances but not many um in in a

00:43:01.820 nutshell it's you have as many kids as biologically possible right you know think um uh you know the 0.72

00:43:07.440 kind of thing you know you're having as many as possible um whereas we're saying uh well we do

00:43:13.560 want a quiver full in the sense that you know the text explicitly uses that term so we want we would

00:43:19.040 rather have many than few um but we would not put a number on that and we would um allow for the

00:43:25.360 husband and wife to, you know, to exercise prudence and to consider certain factors. But all that

00:43:33.540 with, you know, at the same time, really fighting our sin and our idolatry, recognizing that most

00:43:40.620 couples, more often than not, the couple that says, we can't have any more kids, it's not from

00:43:45.200 an argument of prudence. It's really from a place of idolatry. In our modern American mindset,

00:43:51.440 for lack of faith yeah we're like well we can't have any more kids because we only have you know

00:43:55.140 three bedrooms and it's like that's a that is a first world you know yeah that's that is a unique

00:44:01.720 you know people people would look at the square footage of your house from previous generations

00:44:05.900 and they had 10 kids and they'd be like what are you talking about right so and i think parents

00:44:10.800 that are good parents of three will typically be good parents of six but if you've had one and

00:44:15.700 you're really realizing uh that god is stretching you that's already the one that you're struggling

00:44:20.160 to parent well but if you by god's grace are a good husband or a good father and a good mother

00:44:24.420 i generally don't think that there's some magical tipping point now certainly as you get up there

00:44:29.460 there gets to be a lot but there's not a magical tipping point where if i had just one more i would

00:44:33.300 lose all the time to care for them and all my ability to love them and train them like no god

00:44:37.820 stretches us often and we realize oh i had that capacity in me this whole time i didn't think i

00:44:42.460 was cut out to be a dad of this many but i'm doing it now and i love it and i love these kids

00:44:46.520 brian silvey and lexi on their podcast bright hearth they said something good as well too

00:44:51.240 god ordained that that men and women are fertile for a set amount of time he could have made it

00:44:56.440 16 to 30 if he only wanted it to be 14 years he could have made it 20 to 30 he could have made it

00:45:02.040 25 to 35 he said an amount of time and generally not in every single case but in general we should

00:45:08.640 be thinking about okay god sovereignly put these bounds he ordained also the time that i would be

00:45:12.940 married so if you're married at 30 there are less years that you're able to have children

00:45:16.460 but our default thinking should be god gave me this number of years where i'm able to produce

00:45:20.760 children and children are a blessing and a good thing the default and the expectation should not

00:45:25.560 be that i would cut that off early at a certain point this blessing that god's given this fertility

00:45:31.140 that is also a blessing not everyone is able to have children well i'll cut that off because it's

00:45:35.400 too much blessing at 35 or 30 your default mindset should be barring health conditions

00:45:41.060 barring this provided i'm literally able to afford to feed them the expectation that it

00:45:46.000 would use those years that god gave me that i married to my spouse to have children the default

00:45:51.220 assumption that is really what you said there wes is a is fundamental to many many of the problems

00:45:58.000 that we are having in society right now which is god has designed something a certain way

00:46:02.660 and we in faith are required to submit to that design trusting that it was god's good design

00:46:10.780 You apply that to issues of gender ideology, really what is at stake is will I submit to

00:46:18.600 how God has made me?

00:46:20.000 Yes.

00:46:20.340 Right?

00:46:21.080 Men, when you hit 30s and your metabolism slows down, you must submit to God's design

00:46:28.100 for your body and not eat five cheeseburgers every night.

00:46:30.740 Right.

00:46:30.920 No?

00:46:31.220 Like, it requires a change of behavior and a submission to how God has arranged things.

00:46:36.140 And this goes directly back to the home.

00:46:38.740 Has God designed men and women for a purpose?

00:46:42.040 Has he designed the home for a purpose?

00:46:44.820 Then to fight against that is to fight against God's design and his purpose.

00:46:50.780 And really, at that point, there's no positive outcome, right?

00:46:55.580 There can only be tolerable outcomes at that point.

00:46:57.740 But when we're fighting against the creational design that God has put in nature, in our

00:47:03.920 bodies and our dna in our hormones all of these things um the call the call in all things is to

00:47:11.540 submit to how god has created us and to submit to the borders and designs that he has built

00:47:17.660 all throughout and this this principle extends through all of life right there's a reason why

00:47:22.700 um if you have a high metabolism and a low metabolism you have to be self-controlled

00:47:30.160 with what you eat in different ways, right?

00:47:32.560 Like I can't eat like my son.

00:47:35.700 He's a teenager who's playing two sports, right?

00:47:39.780 I have to admit, okay,

00:47:41.460 God made my body slow down with his metabolism.

00:47:43.860 I cannot just indulge in ice cream every night.

00:47:45.960 I would like to maybe,

00:47:47.220 but I must submit to how God has designed that process.

00:47:51.240 Yeah, that's good.

00:47:52.360 Yeah, that's good.

00:47:53.240 Yeah, so God has, we're talking about authority.

00:47:55.280 We're talking about submission.

00:47:56.100 We're talking about patriarchy

00:47:57.200 and beyond just patriarchy,

00:47:59.160 we're talking about hierarchy. God has baked hierarchy into the, you know, into the pie

00:48:03.360 across the board in every single realm. It's, you know, it's within nature. It's within, you know,

00:48:09.440 his image bearing creatures, humankind and every sphere of human life is in the home. It's in civil

00:48:14.620 politics. It's in markets. It's with employee and employer, with master and slave. It's with

00:48:20.940 parents and children, adults and children. So at every level, you know, it's within the church,

00:48:25.300 the ecclesiastical realm hierarchy is inescapable it's inescapable and um this you know so much of 0.94

00:48:32.000 it you know we're combating feminism um but feminism is in some ways we could say it's it's

00:48:36.540 one unique expression of egalitarianism would be the the big banner and um egalitarianism um

00:48:43.980 just it uh it it forces right it tries to force the square peg into the circle hole it tries to

00:48:50.160 force equality and and uh you might even say well i'm not woke i'm a you know i'm a george floyd

00:48:55.760 conservative you know i'm a you know i'm a martin luther uh you know kings uh junior junior king

00:49:02.020 whatever uh conservative you know aka i'm i'm being silly um you're you're a lib uh you need

00:49:08.040 to acknowledge your lib and be a real conservative but if you're you know a lib who thinks he's

00:49:12.000 conservative and you're like i you know uh i'm against uh you know socialism and i'm against

00:49:17.580 equality of outcome, but I'm very much for equality of opportunity. You just have to

00:49:24.360 recognize that that is a myth. When I say God has baked hierarchy into all of society and all of

00:49:30.760 human life and all of plant life and all of animal life and all, when I say that God has

00:49:35.860 baked hierarchy into the entire created cosmos, I'm not just talking about equality of outcome

00:49:42.920 being impossible but also equality of opportunity i did not have the same opportunity to go to the

00:49:49.500 nba as michael jordan yeah i didn't um where you're born when you're born who you're born to

00:49:57.320 your iq like what about the kid who's uh born as you know uh paraplegic yep right what are you

00:50:05.360 going to like part of this is um it's it's well not part of all of it is arrogance it's assuming

00:50:11.820 that we get that that we have achieved somehow the status of god we think that because of the

00:50:16.960 industrial revolution and technical technological innovation and uh the that we've somehow we get

00:50:23.100 to be god like you want to oh you want to change your gender we can do that yeah oh you want to um

00:50:28.280 you want to be able to walk well elon's he's he's working on it we'll get the you know the 0.67

00:50:32.860 neurochip in the back of your brain and we can we'll do that you know like at every single level

00:50:36.800 we think that we, that we're God. But when you say, well, we want equality, it sounds like a

00:50:41.900 nice thing. But, but the only way to actually force equality of outcome is you have to,

00:50:47.940 you have to steamroll everything at the level of opportunity to, and there's not equality of

00:50:53.060 opportunity. There's not because some people are born smarter and dumber, faster and slower, 0.95

00:50:58.640 stronger and weaker. That's just a fact of life, richer and poor. So the only way that you can

00:51:04.660 get equality of outcome is to force equality of opportunity. And the only way to do that

00:51:10.260 is no child left behind would be a great example, which means you can't make the quadriplegic

00:51:17.380 bodily able. So instead what you have to do is you have to break the arms and legs of every other 0.98

00:51:23.800 able body. And that's what we've done. So you can't make all the poor rich. So instead what

00:51:30.580 you can do is you can make the rich poor. You can eradicate the middle class. So you can do it 0.87

00:51:34.160 economically you could at every level right you can't make someone who is less attractive

00:51:38.460 a supermodel so then what do you do well you just make everybody ugly you know you disfigure and 1.00

00:51:44.240 mar everybody so everyone is disabled everyone is ugly everyone is poor and you know welcome 0.89

00:51:50.840 to communism the the original temptation of adam to eve was that we can remove the hierarchy 0.95

00:51:59.360 You can be like God.

00:52:01.440 You can be like God. 1.00

00:52:03.160 And at the core of the topic of feminism and patriarchy

00:52:09.160 and men's and women's roles in society and in marriage

00:52:12.260 is really the claim that we can step outside of God's design

00:52:18.620 and that, in fact, God was unfair to have given that design.

00:52:23.900 The counterclaim from the Bible is this design is not only there,

00:52:27.480 deal with it.

00:52:27.980 that's not the Bible's claim. The Bible's claim is this design is good. It is good for men to act

00:52:34.900 like men, and it's good for women to act like women. Hard? Yes. Difficult? Yes. In our sin, 0.98

00:52:41.400 are we going to resist it at times? Yes, of course. But the biblical response is not,

00:52:46.620 you just have to deal with it, life's hard, get through it, and heaven will be great. No,

00:52:50.660 the biblical response is God's design of men being husbands and acting like husbands,

00:52:55.740 and women being wives

00:52:57.260 and acting like wives 1.00

00:52:58.300 in their unique ways 0.98

00:52:59.220 is part of God's design

00:53:00.280 and that design is good.

00:53:02.000 Right.

00:53:02.420 So let's just give

00:53:03.600 some other practicals

00:53:04.540 because this is what guys don't do.

00:53:05.880 You know,

00:53:06.040 they'll just talk about the principle

00:53:07.500 within the Reformed complementarian world

00:53:09.480 and that's why the clip went viral.

00:53:12.740 Should we do a commercial?

00:53:14.320 Yeah, we'll do a commercial.

00:53:14.360 But let me just set the stage real quick. 0.72

00:53:16.680 The reason why the clip went viral

00:53:17.860 wasn't because I said

00:53:18.940 the husband is the head of the home

00:53:20.240 and that, you know, 0.98

00:53:21.640 the husband is the head of the wife

00:53:22.900 as Ephesians 5 clearly,

00:53:24.300 you know, explicitly says

00:53:25.260 and therefore he has authority um that's not why it initially went viral that you know it initially

00:53:31.560 went viral again not with the the screeching leftists um and unbelievers in the democrat

00:53:36.280 party it originally went viral with complementarian reformed uh christians uh and the and the uh the

00:53:43.180 charge was led by a pastor uh you know allegedly you know conservative pastor and he he is conservative

00:53:48.700 he's just you know compared to us he's a lib but you know but for all intents and purposes he's

00:53:54.080 conservative and so um all that being said um my point is you know why why so irate why was he so

00:54:01.480 upset why it was the reform complementarian world um it wasn't the principle that upset them it was

00:54:06.680 it was providing an example of its application and that's what guys do and that's why i give

00:54:12.820 application and examples uh recognizing that i'm fallible and that i could be wrong but i would

00:54:17.920 rather give applications, give 10 of them and be wrong occasionally. If I was wrong 10 out of 10

00:54:24.240 times, then I would probably stop doing it. But wrong occasionally. I'd rather give ample examples

00:54:28.640 and be wrong on occasion and get slaughtered in the court of, you know, the peanut gallery's

00:54:36.840 opinion, you know, and get, you know, voicemails endlessly of people who, you know, like, you know,

00:54:44.680 get all the backlash and all the criticism and all those kinds of things. I'd rather have that

00:54:48.540 and be one of the few pastors who actually will provide, because there's so many men and women 0.50

00:54:56.780 for that matter, Christian men and women who are saying, we can see that patriarchy is the design

00:55:01.880 and we want to please the Lord, but no one, there's only like 10 of you in the whole world

00:55:07.240 who even use the word patriarchy. But then the pool gets even narrower when it comes to not just

00:55:13.840 espousing the language or the principle, but actually providing the application. And that's

00:55:19.540 what made people lose their minds, is I didn't just say, husband is head of the wife and he has

00:55:23.380 authority in the home. But then I actually gave an example of here would be an example of the

00:55:28.880 kind of authority a husband has. So when we come back from the commercial, I think that it would,

00:55:34.940 you know, obviously plenty of people will be mad because they hate God's word. And I'm not just

00:55:39.560 talking about unbelievers. I'm talking about complementarians. They do hate God's Word on

00:55:43.780 this subject, sadly. I wish they didn't, but they do. But even if it's the vast minority of the

00:55:50.760 people who listen, even if 90% of them are upset, the 10% who love God's Word and simply want to

00:55:57.020 practically obey, they deserve us taking the risk and giving some practical examples. So we'll do

00:56:02.060 that right after these sponsors. The danger of centralized power is often represented by the

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00:56:44.300 spread choice all right so to close out we're going to name as you said take the risk we're

00:57:03.500 going to name some situations where practically a husband has the authority to make a decision.

00:57:08.460 I should note Michael Foster has said this, Scripture doesn't provide us a recourse for

00:57:12.960 enforcement. So a man cannot force his wife to submit. If she says no, he does have the recourse

00:57:18.120 of the church if it's flagrant or dangerous or something like that of other means. But he is not

00:57:23.440 to force his wife to submit. There's no punishment. There's no enforcement mechanism in Scripture,

00:57:27.360 to be clear about that. The other thing is that just because you can does not mean you have to.

00:57:33.500 I think again of the military, a platoon sergeant has the authority to say at 2 a.m., everyone will

00:57:38.000 be here and we're going to go run. It might not be wise if he wants his platoon to love him and like

00:57:43.040 him. So it's not just balancing, I can do this and so I will. It's the husband has the authority

00:57:47.400 to say this and he may. He has the prerogative. He's allowed to. And in certain decisions,

00:57:53.120 it may be judicious. An example would be a husband and his wife and her friends. A husband 0.74

00:57:58.980 can say, honey, this friend that I've known and that you've known for a while is a bad influence

00:58:04.300 on you, and I would love for you to stop spending time with her. You can be clear, I am happy to

00:58:09.840 call perhaps her husband and explain why I would like you to stop hanging out, to explain to her,

00:58:15.540 but I don't think she's a good influence, and I would greatly appreciate if you would honor me

00:58:18.880 by making that clear to her and taking some time away. A husband in love can, he does not have to,

00:58:25.220 He does not at all have to pick and choose your friends.

00:58:27.380 But he could say, this friend is a bad influence on you,

00:58:30.180 and I'd like you to stop spending time with her.

00:58:31.940 And I've got to give credit to a good brother from the church.

00:58:33.620 He gave me that one.

00:58:34.620 He said, people won't like it, but that is a husband.

00:58:37.680 It's the word in Greek, it's hupatasmo.

00:58:41.680 Oof, let me try that again.

00:58:44.340 It means to rank under.

00:58:46.420 So Christ, the church is subject to Christ.

00:58:49.020 Christ was subject to his parents.

00:58:51.180 And that word means to subject herself to the husband and everything.

00:58:54.960 so he could say this friend is not a good idea rank under like an inferior yeah now you're

00:59:01.140 dangerous william gooch and who um well we don't have to we don't have to name them but

00:59:07.580 we'll just say this there there are notable publishing companies that um have published

00:59:12.500 puritans um such as william gooch and uh and edited a lot of the language you know or others

00:59:18.940 like you know rl dabney and taking out what he would say about masters and slaves you know and

00:59:24.880 on the issue of patriarchy, William Gouge, his book On Domestical Duties. If you're reading a

00:59:34.180 modern English version of that, there's no problem with the fact that the language has been altered

00:59:39.760 for modernized, for a simpler read. That's fine. But you just need to recognize that the ministry

00:59:45.860 that did that also took the liberty to remove when William Gouge talks about inferiors and

00:59:51.220 superiors and they didn't just change the language they changed his arguments um because um although

00:59:58.140 that ministry you know would say we're very conservative they're not as conservatives

01:00:02.100 william gouge so wes and i are working on a book on witchcraft modernizing it i'm also working on

01:00:07.640 that very william gouge book and modernizing it but leaving it totally unabridged and uh in the

01:00:12.460 original spirit of the well the original argument entirely so awesome that's great uh so mine is

01:00:19.940 A husband ought to trust his wife, like you said, Wes, a husband trusts his wife, and yet he has authority over not just his schedule and calendar, not just the family schedule and calendar, but hers as well.

01:00:36.760 And the other day, you know, this is very practical. 0.65

01:00:39.760 My wife was, she's incredibly industrious.

01:00:42.020 I never have to ask her to do less leisure. 0.99

01:00:47.040 that has never ever been an issue in our marriage but she was trying to do too much in a day and

01:00:52.980 she was stressed and i said look um this this let's talk about what what are you stressed about

01:01:00.080 what is on your list of things that need to get done today we had this and this and this and i

01:01:04.760 don't know i'm going to do this i don't i don't know when i'm going to do this i said look don't

01:01:08.660 do that that is not something that you need to do today well it's not going to get done even if it

01:01:13.560 doesn't get done let's prioritize that's the one that doesn't really matter if it gets done it would

01:01:18.520 be nice they got done but no so the ability to look at a schedule and to encourage your wife

01:01:25.600 maybe if you need to to be more industrious right hey honey maybe not quite so many you know spin

01:01:32.280 classes or whatever um not even not even that that gracious like you need to be home more

01:01:37.880 or to be able to remove things and say you don't need to be doing that i'm going to step in i'm

01:01:43.660 going to say don't do that today right that's for the good of you for me for the family and i'm

01:01:50.280 making a call it's not going to happen today yep that's good that's a good example yeah i regularly 0.96

01:01:55.340 do that with my wife same thing yep she's she is not lazy and so often having to tell her to

01:02:00.560 step back yep you know you got to do less um okay uh do with the good one yeah another another

01:02:06.700 example would be um what what the wife wears clothing and so um i absolutely believe that

01:02:12.120 you know the husband would have authority over the clothing same thing here um but you know in

01:02:16.600 all these we're we're saying okay you know again c.a look at all the look at the principle uh

01:02:22.680 ephesians 5 and and other texts about how authority should be used not lording it over or domineering

01:02:28.080 and so all this should be done graciously all this should be done uh lovingly and gently and

01:02:33.180 all those kinds of things. But the question is, but at the end of the day, right, all the disclaimers

01:02:38.340 being made about gentleness, about affection, about love, about being willing to sacrifice your

01:02:43.660 own life for the sake of your wife as Christ, lay down his life for the church, all those things

01:02:49.000 are absolutely true. So we're assuming those things. That's baked into the pie. So you must 0.84

01:02:54.800 do those things. But then the question still remains, does the husband actually have authority

01:02:59.620 Or is it just a metaphor, just symbolism, just ethereal, just abstract?

01:03:04.520 And we're saying, no, he has real authority that can be executed in real, tangible ways.

01:03:11.440 And so one example would be, like you said, Wes, with friends.

01:03:16.140 I don't like this particular woman and the influence that I see her with you.

01:03:21.820 And I'm telling you that you need to step back relationally.

01:03:25.000 um you know the other would be um you are uh stressing out and overburdening yourself you're

01:03:30.680 too tired you must rest stop it yep um and that one you guys might say well that's that's that's

01:03:36.160 kind of like that's just sweet on that though like i there was a time my wife loves to run distance

01:03:40.520 and she ran a marathon and i was glad for her to do it we talked about it it's not like she

01:03:46.020 went and did it on her own but the training leading up to it was intense it was multiple

01:03:50.480 hours a day especially like the last four weeks you know she had to go on 10 12 16 and this is

01:03:57.340 like four three four hours a day that she's out running we had talked about i agree but when she

01:04:01.880 finished the marathon i said what do you think she said i i would like to do another marathon

01:04:06.400 someday not right away i said at this time that is too much on our family and i'm i'm asking you

01:04:11.640 right i'm also telling you you can't do a marathon half marathons she can do in her sleep she doesn't

01:04:17.260 have to train for those but the the burden of time and so there's one where i did step in

01:04:22.640 and said no you like marathons are not going to happen anymore it's too much of a time commitment

01:04:28.260 and uh you can still be fit you can still be healthy you can still run without having to do

01:04:33.380 that yep right yep that's great that's helpful and so and then the dress thing um like now my

01:04:38.640 wife you know wants she desires to be modest um but uh if you're a you know a new married couple

01:04:45.620 and perhaps your wife is less mature in the faith and you're both now coming into deeper,

01:04:52.580 more mature Christian convictions, you may be a husband, a new husband who's only been

01:04:58.980 married a year or two and coming into convictions about modesty and what that looks like and

01:05:04.600 realizing, oh yeah, my wife, maybe she needs to wear clothes when she's out in public. 0.98

01:05:10.240 you know like maybe she shouldn't uh just take paint and and paint her legs right you know um 1.00

01:05:17.340 and then go to the grocery store to be limits for a christian woman yeah like maybe my wife 1.00

01:05:21.460 should use more than simply paint on her legs and then go to a public grocery store to be oogled at 1.00

01:05:27.620 by uh hundreds of men over the course of an hour and a half um who are then going to think about

01:05:33.280 my wife later on that day and yeah maybe that's not crazy right and i'm using that kind of language

01:05:39.820 it's just not to be crude, but just to say, this is not legalism. This is not petty. This is not

01:05:45.000 small. This is not up in arms. Yoga pants is paint. There is no imagination whatsoever. I mean,

01:05:53.240 it is virtually the equivalent. It is barely, barely a sentiment. I mean, microscopic,

01:05:59.260 you would have to use certain scientific instruments to even display the difference

01:06:05.380 between paint and yoga pants in terms of its, you know, its thickness and blah, blah, blah.

01:06:10.820 So, I mean, it is literally skin-tight clothing, usually accompanied by a, you know, a midriff 0.97

01:06:18.100 shirt in many cases, and then a woman goes out in public wearing that. Of course, that is immodest. 1.00

01:06:25.820 Of course, that is sin. And of course, no woman should be doing that, but especially a Christian 1.00

01:06:31.680 woman and so of course if that christian woman and and in this scenario let's let's play you know 0.99

01:06:36.740 give the benefit of the doubt let's say it's ignorance and it's not you know it's not uh 0.96

01:06:40.660 you know mark driscoll's jezebel spirit you know it's it's uh no it's just ignorance she's just

01:06:45.680 she's a new believer she's newly married and you know and and praise god she's a woman and not a

01:06:51.380 man and so she doesn't she's not particularly um adept to the way that men think right a husband

01:06:58.100 has to disciple his wife this is how you don't understand the way that men think i was about to

01:07:03.480 say the authority is vested in the man not at a flip of a coin god was like well i can give the

01:07:07.180 authority to the man or the woman he has given the man certain qualities the ability to think

01:07:12.740 like a man and vested the authority in him to then make the decision so she would say and and

01:07:17.680 genuinely not any of our wives but a woman could say i had no idea but the man is saying i i know

01:07:22.620 what how other men think and i would love for you to change please yes and so there's a reason it's

01:07:27.940 and also do it yeah i would love i would and you can start with i would love it because i care for

01:07:33.220 you i want your protection um and i also don't want to cause all these other men to stumble

01:07:39.580 and most of all first i want to honor the lord uh through obedience second i want to protect you

01:07:45.580 my wife that i love the wife of my youth um and then three i don't want to cause other men to uh

01:07:50.680 i don't want to provide in my own wife a stumbling block for other men so for those three reasons i

01:07:55.280 would love for you to dress modestly. If she doubles down and says no, then we're talking

01:08:02.560 about authority. What does authority mean? It means that he really does have the authority to

01:08:06.480 say, no, you are not allowed to dress that way and go out. Now, back to a previous point that

01:08:11.140 Wes made that is worth mentioning, because there are some young men who would listen to this.

01:08:16.620 Change stage patriarchy.

01:08:17.500 Exactly. And they would assume too much. There is not a biblical measure that has been prescribed

01:08:24.300 for corporal punishment between a husband and a wife. So if the child refuses, right? If the

01:08:30.440 child refuses, God has actually given to the parents the instrument of the rot, right? If

01:08:37.200 the citizen refuses, God has given to the state the sword. And if the member of the church refuses.

01:08:42.760 If the member of the church refuses, God has given not a rot, not a sword, but keys to bar

01:08:47.640 them from the Lord's table and to remove them from the membership and excommunication. But with

01:08:52.240 the husband to the wife, God has given no such instrument. And so if the wife absolutely refuses, 0.90

01:08:59.440 the husband would exercise stronger authority and say, I am telling you, I'm not just saying I would

01:09:04.360 love it. I'm not just asking or request. I am telling you that you must not do this. This is

01:09:10.100 sin. Do not do it. And if you do, then I'm going to bring this to the elders of the church and

01:09:16.880 they're going to come as one or two witnesses alongside me to exercise even stronger authority

01:09:24.760 to call you out for your sin in this and to call you to repentance. And slowly, this isn't carried

01:09:30.060 out over the course of a week and a half, but slowly over time, months, perhaps even years,

01:09:35.840 eventually we will tell this to the church if there is just impenitence and stubbornness.

01:09:41.880 And you're like, well, I'm going to wear yoga pants even harder. And when I'm shopping,

01:09:46.280 I'm only going to look for items on the bottom row, then, okay, all right, you have made

01:09:51.920 it very clear that you hate God's Word, you hate God, ultimately His authority, me, your

01:09:57.040 husband's authority, your pastors, the church, and the only course of recourse there would

01:10:02.240 be in the sphere of the church, not the husband, not the home, but with the church, that we

01:10:06.440 would eventually tell it to the whole congregation that the church would exercise the keys of 0.98

01:10:09.900 the kingdom and excommunicate that woman. 0.98

01:10:12.860 But that's as far as you could go. 0.76

01:10:14.260 and here's the crazy thing last thing that i'll add there uh the church would excommunicate that 1.00

01:10:18.200 woman but the husband in the setting of the home would still be married to her yeah um unless she

01:10:23.100 abandons him right um that's first corinthians 7 or commits adultery and not adultery of heart

01:10:29.620 not matthew 5 right not not that kind of adultery well if you look at a woman lustfully you know

01:10:35.020 then you've committed adultery in your heart uh-huh that's true and that uh adultery of heart

01:10:39.540 is enough to send you to hell apart from grace and faith in Christ alone. But adultery of heart

01:10:45.300 is not enough to meet the biblical standard to end a marriage, to divorce. So unless this wife 0.70

01:10:51.460 commits adultery or abandons, she can be excommunicated from the church, but you are 0.95

01:10:57.260 still obligated to live with her in an understanding manner, recognizing that she's the weaker vessel.

01:11:02.540 And I stress all that to say, I know that's tough. I know that's tough. And so some of you guys,

01:11:08.940 Young men, you might be listening.

01:11:10.120 So you're telling me I can never get rid of her without sinning against God?

01:11:13.440 Like I would just have an obstinate wife for the next 40 years that's not even a member 0.99

01:11:17.800 in the church, and as I'm parenting my children, she's actively going against me every step 1.00

01:11:22.920 of the way.

01:11:23.500 And yeah, that's what I'm telling you.

01:11:25.980 And you young guys who are listening to this, you're like, your response is actually very

01:11:31.900 similar to what the disciples said to Jesus.

01:11:34.020 Well, then who, right?

01:11:35.360 If this is the case, who then can be saved?

01:11:37.920 Who should be married?

01:11:38.940 Like, who should be married, you know, if this is the case?

01:11:41.760 And Jesus says, you know, what is impossible with man is possible with God.

01:11:48.400 And we're simply praying for a miracle.

01:11:50.400 And the miracle is either going to be the transformation of the wife

01:11:54.200 or the miracle will be the long-suffering and Christ-like patience of the husband.

01:11:59.460 And God will spare the children even despite a demonic mom.

01:12:04.980 This is where we come back to what we said earlier and we put the cards on the table.

01:12:08.940 Because to call a man to that sort of thing is still calling him to submit to the providence that God has dealt him. 0.60

01:12:16.900 We're calling women to deal with the providence that God has dealt you in creating you as a woman.

01:12:21.680 Men, the providence that God has dealt you in being a man.

01:12:25.960 But also, if you're in a difficult marriage like that, we are calling you to submit to the providence that God in his grace and wisdom has dealt.

01:12:34.580 Right.

01:12:34.960 She is supposed to submit to you and won't.

01:12:38.940 but you are supposed to submit to God, will you?

01:12:41.840 Right.

01:12:42.440 Are you actually going to be modeling?

01:12:44.720 Are you going to be condemning the insubordination in your wife

01:12:47.880 while ironically modeling that very insubordination

01:12:51.120 in regards to your refusal to submit to God and His providence?

01:12:54.660 That's good.

01:12:55.500 Any other thoughts for this episode? 0.99

01:12:57.460 Yeah, I just wanted to add, for the women especially, 1.00

01:12:59.880 so we don't personally choose our civil magistrate. 0.98

01:13:04.120 We don't personally even really choose our pastor.

01:13:06.560 They would generally be anointed by the body. 0.65

01:13:07.900 but when it comes to the woman and choosing the man that she will submit to as a product of

01:13:12.920 christianity that doesn't do arranged marriages or just sell women off you young woman have the

01:13:18.540 choice of the man that you are going to submit to to the rest of your life you didn't choose your

01:13:22.900 father but eventually you will go out from under his roof to the roof of your husband think about

01:13:28.100 that carefully employ other men employ your father and your brothers and a pastor to sit down with

01:13:33.440 that man and ask them, Dad, can you tell me if this should be a man that I should commit to

01:13:38.580 submitting to? Because when you go to the altar and you take those vows, sometimes it's been

01:13:43.660 removed, but it should be included in all wedding liturgies, that she's committing to obey him.

01:13:47.920 When you do that, there's no going back. So choose carefully. And then when you choose carefully,

01:13:54.140 it's meant to be a good and an easy thing. Spurgeon said how beautiful it is when a husband

01:13:59.000 and wife live in harmony together so choose wisely choose well if you've chosen unwisely in

01:14:05.000 the past there is grace and god will see you through it uh but don't yeah don't be foolhardy

01:14:10.020 with it and uh and it should be a good thing this is not intended to be something dour and serious

01:14:14.620 uh husband and wife their marriage should be warm and enjoyable and reflect christ in the church

01:14:19.220 amen amen yeah wives uh potential wives need to be very careful who they choose as a husband

01:14:24.740 um and likewise young men have to be very careful um like i you know i got married at 29 i wish i

01:14:32.880 had gotten married earlier part of the reason i got married later was just my own sin and idolatry

01:14:36.700 and a disney version of marriage instead of a biblical one and postponed you know and drug my

01:14:42.020 feet all those kinds of things um that was part of it so i want to own that um my own sin my own

01:14:47.740 idolatry but um in my defense that was that was definitely part of it wasn't all of it another

01:14:53.080 part of it was you know it was difficult to find um a woman you know that uh that i could marry

01:14:59.740 uh that wouldn't ruin my life right yeah you know i think of ecclesiastes it says

01:15:04.940 um there's a verse that says i found one upright man among a thousand but not one

01:15:11.120 upright woman among them all um solomon so uh he tried them all solomon he tried them all he says

01:15:19.400 i know they're not they don't exist and obviously um we do believe that god saves women so there are

01:15:26.500 righteous women but if that was true in solomon's age the the general sense of of that proverb in

01:15:32.400 ecclesiastes um how it would be infinitely not infinitely but exponentially more true in our day

01:15:38.980 and age that's just been completely immersed in feminism um i yeah like you and there's but it's

01:15:45.860 it's not um it doesn't require sherlock holmes you know this is not like this this doesn't really

01:15:52.420 yes this doesn't require like a supernatural sixth sense in order like you can you can meet

01:15:58.300 a woman and probably in less than a minute you can tell uh does is she have an inward beauty

01:16:05.560 which is imperishable and pleasing in the sight of god which is uh most notably characterized by

01:16:11.080 two qualities, quiet and gentle spirit? Or is she loud? Is she loud? Are her feet swift to go

01:16:20.180 anywhere and everywhere but home? Or is she domestic? Is she a lady of the hearth? Does she 0.98

01:16:27.860 love her home? Is she industrious in all the right ways? Or is she a boss babe in all the wrong ways?

01:16:35.440 She actually produces nothing, but she wants to be at work, but she doesn't work. 1.00

01:16:41.920 So all those kinds of...

01:16:43.440 It's very simple.

01:16:45.600 And that was part of the reason...

01:16:46.860 And when I met my wife, Megan, it was her disposition.

01:16:50.800 There was still a lot...

01:16:51.720 And this is tough.

01:16:53.320 This is not to say that God...

01:16:54.800 Obviously, God saves and God transforms and the Holy Spirit actually does sanctify and

01:17:00.620 change us.

01:17:01.740 So all those things being said, those are true Christian doctrines.

01:17:05.020 However, however, don't overlook a woman's just, a particular woman, her natural disposition.

01:17:14.280 When I met my wife, her and I were both immature, but theologically I was immature, but she

01:17:21.380 was even substantially more immature. 0.84

01:17:23.780 There was a lot of things she didn't know, but part of what attracted me to her was she

01:17:31.180 immediately just, her humility.

01:17:33.640 what what uh tell me about calvinism explain that to me i don't really like it but i want to submit

01:17:39.940 to the word of god say that again and asking questions and not just trying to you know uh you

01:17:44.800 know uh trap me and prove me wrong and at every turn and i just knew and i was looking at her 0.60

01:17:50.280 as in comparison to many of her peers and and other women and i just realized she just has a

01:17:55.820 gentle disposition yeah like her own family uh said that when i met her family for the first time

01:18:01.220 they're like yeah this is our baby sis you know and she's uh she's the you know they would make

01:18:06.720 jokes about she's the favorite you know because um she you know she's never done it she never

01:18:11.700 rebels you know she's not you know loud like we're we're feisty you know the other two sisters we're

01:18:16.400 feisty you know but she's just uh compliant i was like yes yes you know like right now because 0.63

01:18:23.100 we're so drenched in feminism even within the church women all you all you have to do is ask 1.00

01:18:26.960 a couple key questions and they'll tell on themselves. They'll give it away. They'll be 1.00

01:18:31.080 like, yeah, I'm a firecracker. Yeah, I'm feisty. And you, young man, should hear that. And she's

01:18:35.140 saying, yeah, I'm not marriage material. That's what she's saying. I do not have a quiet and

01:18:40.100 gentle spirit. I am not beautiful in terms of inward beauty. It is that simple. First Peter

01:18:45.760 says it explicitly, not outward beauty that perishes, but inward beauty, which is imperishable

01:18:51.260 and pleasing the sight of God, which is a gentle and quiet spirit. When she says, I'm loud, I'm a

01:18:55.700 firecracker. I'm feisty. She is telling you, according to God's standard, I am not attractive.

01:19:01.020 Therefore, you should not be attracted to me. So listen to her. When she tells you not to marry her,

01:19:06.180 listen to her. Yeah. Because that's what she's telling you. All right. Yeah. All right. I know 0.99

01:19:11.760 I said any final thoughts. I just thought about that at the end. That was great. Yeah. Okay. All

01:19:17.380 right. Thank you guys for tuning in. God bless.

01:19:25.700 Thank you.

The NXR Podcast - April 24, 2024

THE LIVESTREAM - What Authority Does a Husband Really Have？

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