The NXR Podcast - THE LIVESTREAM - White Knights & Reviling Wives w⧸Dr. David Edgington

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00:00:30.000 all right we're excited today we have a special episode for you a treat if you will we have dr

00:00:39.320 david edgington who is the author of a brand new book that's just recently been published called

00:00:44.580 white knights and reviling wives the subtitle is how feminism destroys families and so we have the

00:00:51.600 author of this brand new book joining us for this live stream and we're going to spend our first

00:00:56.840 segment probably about half an hour where we're asking him why did you write the book what's the

00:01:01.540 primary objective and overview of the book what does it discuss what are you what problem are you

00:01:06.920 trying to solve and so we'll spend about half an hour our first segment then we'll go to our first

00:01:11.360 commercial break and then our second segment we're just gonna just extend it and spend probably

00:01:17.120 anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour the entire time while we have dr edgington on the line with

00:01:23.740 us with his live broadcast, giving him the opportunity to address and answer any super

00:01:29.880 chats that you send in today, whether it be a comment or a question, so long, here's the

00:01:35.300 condition, so long as it's related to the topic. So right now, don't waste any time. If you're

00:01:40.440 tuning in right now, go ahead and send in your super chats, comment or question. If it's a super

00:01:45.660 chat, it will be read live on the air. We will make sure to do all the super chats. If it's not

00:01:49.960 a super chat. If we have time, we'll address it. But you guys know the drill. If you've been with

00:01:53.980 us for a while, typically we don't have time. There are already plenty of super chats. So if

00:01:58.500 you have a comment or a question that, again, is related to this topic, we don't want to waste our

00:02:03.180 guest time. He has expertise in this specific arena as it comes to feminism and marriage,

00:02:10.400 these kinds of things. So this is your opportunity to get an answer, a response from Dr. David

00:02:16.420 Edgington when it comes to the topic of feminism, women, men, marriage, parenting, these kinds of

00:02:22.940 things. That's a pretty great opportunity. We don't want you guys to miss out. So go ahead

00:02:27.120 even now from the very beginning of the episode, as we're just talking about the book in general

00:02:31.840 and why he wrote the book and what the book addresses. While we're still in our first

00:02:35.900 segment, go ahead and line up your super chats because we're going to go in priority of which

00:02:39.820 one comes in first. And that will be our entire second segment. Again, 45 minutes to an hour.

00:02:46.420 our entire second segment,

00:02:47.880 and that's how we're gonna round out the show.

00:02:49.340 So the whole rest of the show is gonna be super chats

00:02:51.980 to Dr. David Edgington on marriage, family, feminism,

00:02:57.140 men, women, children, the whole nine yards.

00:02:59.360 So I'm excited, so go ahead

00:03:00.580 and start getting the super chats in,

00:03:02.300 and we will spend, again, our first segment

00:03:04.960 probably about half an hour

00:03:06.200 talking about an overview of the book.

00:03:08.900 Again, today we are privileged to be joined

00:03:10.700 by special guest Dr. David Edgington,

00:03:13.500 and the author of White Nights and Reviling Wives.

00:03:17.600 Tune in now.

00:03:27.740 All right, welcome, welcome, welcome.

00:03:29.800 It is Monday, the Monday before Thanksgiving.

00:03:32.940 So for those of you who are not aware,

00:03:34.660 we live stream three times a week,

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00:03:53.460 Three times a week, 3 p.m. Central Time,

00:03:56.020 Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

00:03:57.980 This week, we're gonna take Friday off

00:03:59.680 because of Thanksgiving.

00:04:00.820 So we're here today on Monday.

00:04:02.260 We'll join you again on Wednesday.

00:04:04.540 We're actually gonna be talking about arranged marriages

00:04:07.140 and kind of following that historically

00:04:09.520 throughout Christendom over the past few centuries

00:04:11.860 in the West, the practice of arranged marriages, the pros, the cons. Should we bring them back

00:04:18.400 today? Spoiler alert, kind of, yes. That's what we'll be talking about on Wednesday. But for today,

00:04:24.360 as I've said, we have a special guest, Dr. David Edgington. Welcome to the show. Thanks for joining

00:04:29.400 us. Thank you, Joel. It's great to be here with you. All right. I'm going to ask you the question

00:04:34.480 that everybody always asks for an author when they've written a book and they come on a podcast.

00:04:38.620 First question. It's a good one. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Here's the question.

00:04:43.340 Why did you write the book? Well, it is broke and we need to fix it. So that's the first part of

00:04:52.460 that answer is that, well, 10 years ago, I wrote the book, The Abusive Wife. And you probably know

00:05:01.820 some of the story about that. I could not get any publishers to publish it. No Christian publisher

00:05:06.880 would touch it. It was too controversial. They said it's not a problem. It's not a big deal,

00:05:12.480 and it's offensive to women. So I had to self-publish it through Amazon. And in the last 0.98

00:05:20.880 three or four years, the book has gotten a lot of attention because people are like, wow,

00:05:26.320 I've never seen anything on this before. Why has it taken so long to find somebody that's

00:05:32.360 written on this topic? And I think the answer to that question is the first thing I said. Nobody

00:05:37.000 wants to publish it. But since that time, just a few years ago, it has just exploded with attention

00:05:43.460 because there is an epidemic, and I don't use that word lightly, there's an epidemic of marriages

00:05:50.980 that are suffering with exactly what I described in the book. I've got firsthand testimony in it.

00:05:57.840 i'm not appealing to statistics i'm appealing to real cases real husbands and wives that i counsel

00:06:05.340 and um uh the book got so much attention and i was counseling so many people around the world

00:06:17.980 with this problem not just in america but around the world that frankly i learned a lot more just

00:06:25.820 from talking to so many people as a result of that i thought i need to write more on this because i

00:06:32.960 understand even better now so that was the reason that i wrote this book this new book white knights

00:06:39.820 and reviling wives how feminism yeah i remember hearing you say that uh dr edgington i remember

00:06:45.640 you hearing you maybe it was with the king's hall or something or it might have even been

00:06:50.180 correspondence back and forth because we've dm'd each other emailed or something like that but i

00:06:54.680 remember you saying basically you you kind of wrote the book 10 years ago uh but it didn't get

00:06:59.800 as much of attention as you would have liked but it's not just like hey now you know uh there's an

00:07:04.980 opportunity for you know there to be a market and an audience for the book but it's also um in 10

00:07:10.980 years you've grown in your experience your wisdom like there's so it's not just the same book from

00:07:16.380 10 years ago and now you know somebody's willing to read it because people finally realize oh wait

00:07:21.560 maybe feminism is uh absolutely terrible uh but it's more than just that it's um it's it's the 0.88

00:07:28.140 basic premise from 10 years ago but with case studies and testimonials and even principles

00:07:34.240 and applications that you've grown in objectively over the course of a decade's worth of wisdom is

00:07:40.700 that right that's correct yeah and you know my goal is not to get a bunch of royalties in a book

00:07:47.600 and make it a bestseller and all that, that doesn't really matter to me at all.

00:07:51.400 I just want to help people.

00:07:52.940 I want to help families, I want to help marriages, I want to help men, I want to help pastors too.

00:07:59.120 But it's kind of funny, I find that I more appeal to the kind of the blue-collar,

00:08:06.320 ordinary Christian guy in the church than to the pastor and the guy that's in positions of authority.

00:08:13.440 Even though I've been a pastor for 33 years, the average guy in the church says, wow, finally somebody that's on our side. And I go, why wouldn't people be on the side of truth? It's, you know, it's a mystery to me.

00:08:28.200 but when i when i wrote this new book i wrote it exactly like you said i had learned so much

00:08:37.560 over the years and honestly even since i wrote this book i'm still learning more because i've

00:08:44.080 i've actually counseled over 500 of these situations so it's not just a you know a handful

00:08:50.320 of people and at the same time that that grieves me that there's so many that are going through this

00:08:56.460 But also, it excites me because people are getting a biblical response to this growing problem in society, and specifically in the church.

00:09:07.900 My book basically addresses the problem that is in conservative Christian churches.

00:09:15.120 Not just one denomination, not just one theological outlook.

00:09:19.620 It goes across denominations from the most strongly Reformed to the most Arminian churches that you can imagine.

00:09:29.400 Presbyterian, Baptist, doesn't matter. 0.64

00:09:32.220 Independent Bible Church, it doesn't matter.

00:09:35.480 It's in every denomination.

00:09:37.480 I think I have probably talked to people in every major denomination that have gone through exactly what is described in the book.

00:09:46.760 And that's tragic to me.

00:09:48.700 it's also strange to me yeah so okay so let me ask this what is a reviling wife okay and that's

00:09:59.340 that's the question that's kind of interesting that term has almost become a technical term

00:10:03.320 over the years now that people go oh reviling wife i know what that i know what that is you

00:10:08.140 see it all the time on x now but a reviling wife see just to back up a little bit i called the

00:10:14.860 first book, The Abusive Wife, because the word reviling, everybody's like, I don't know what

00:10:19.940 that means, you know, but I want to communicate to people. So I use the word abusive in the title.

00:10:25.400 And then in the first few chapters of the book, I explained abusive is not the best word because

00:10:31.800 that's a very vague and ambiguous word. The biblical word is reviling. So when you revile

00:10:38.560 someone, you're using words as a non-contact weapon. You're trying to destroy that person.

00:10:43.980 You're trying to ruin that person. You're trying to undermine them. You're trying to, you know, just be cruel with what you say to them. You're harsh. You're demeaning. You're arrogant. You're prideful. You're always quarreling about something. You're nasty. And you don't back up. You don't back off on it. There's an absence of humility. It's a lot of arrogance, a lot of pride. And this just tears people down.

00:11:10.800 you know we always use that saying that well sticks and stones can break my bones but

00:11:16.340 names can never hurt me words can never hurt me and it's like it's not really true is it

00:11:20.580 the men that i counsel they go through this they say i wish i'd get hit with a bat

00:11:25.040 instead of all these words that my wife uses every day and uh and then sadly as an aside

00:11:31.460 some of the wives do hit their husbands with a bat and they do physically assault their husbands

00:11:36.880 so but it's just a tearing down of another individual with with the words and it's harsh

00:11:43.460 you know it's it's what the it's in john chapter 9 where the pharisees were doing that to the man

00:11:48.480 that was born blind and they reviled him oh you're following jesus you know you you say you know what

00:11:55.720 moses taught and you know that the word is in there they're reviling him they're um they're

00:12:01.120 just trying to destroy him and dehumanize him. Right. And we have seen men that have done this

00:12:11.240 over the years. I mean, you and I know men that have been this way, and it's been a problem

00:12:17.220 throughout history. It's not something new. But what is new, or at least what we think is new,

00:12:23.620 is women doing this to men, specifically women doing this to their husbands. 0.66

00:12:29.280 And really, when I say it's new, it's not really new, because Solomon wrote about it. 0.80

00:12:33.700 It's all in the scriptures.

00:12:34.840 There's all kinds of places in the Word of God that talk about contentious wives that are quarrelsome, that it's like a dripping rain. 0.98

00:12:43.280 It's better live on a corner of a rooftop than with a reviling wife or a quarrelsome wife. 1.00

00:12:48.040 It's better live out in a desert land than with a quarrelsome wife.

00:12:51.600 So it's not really a new problem.

00:12:53.420 but what's happened is that we've ignored this problem it goes several layers we've ignored

00:13:01.460 this problem and give give cover to the women that are doing this and we don't hold those women

00:13:07.840 accountable and then we blame the man for the wife being a reviler and then we give the wife

00:13:15.680 the freedom to end the marriage because she's claiming the man is a reviler or he's abusive

00:13:21.400 and he's not. This is the other part that's so common with this, is that the men that I counsel,

00:13:27.500 they're usually very good men. They're men that you go, man, he's kind, he's sweet, he's gentle,

00:13:33.440 he's loving, he sacrifices, he's got a good job, he's caring for his family, he loves his kids,

00:13:39.060 he would do anything for them. So these are not nasty, mean, arrogant, prideful, horrible men 0.65

00:13:47.700 that we're talking about in this we're talking about good men almost without fail good men 0.93

00:13:54.720 and the wife is this bitter unrepentant unsubmissive reviler and it is just tearing

00:14:04.240 tearing families apart and the other part that i want to make sure everybody understands 1.00

00:14:10.140 the reason the subtitle of my new book white knights and reviling wives how feminism destroys 1.00

00:14:15.440 families and specifically one of the word families in that title because it doesn't stop there 0.99

00:14:22.420 doesn't stop with the man getting destroyed the marriage getting ruined the children are affected

00:14:28.880 by this and then the children are turned against the father by the reviling wife and the father

00:14:36.460 loses his relationship with his own sons and daughters sometimes never talking again right

00:14:43.980 because she poisons you know she'll win in the court system everything is um tilted against the 1.00

00:14:50.300 man and uh toward the woman so uh judicially she'll win in the court um yes and so then she'll 1.00

00:14:56.800 get uh primary custody so the man will get to see you know the children every other weekend and on 1.00

00:15:02.980 thursdays and uh and split holidays but she's with the children 80 of the time and she will poison 1.00

00:15:09.600 her own children against their father with little passive aggressive remarks here and there even 1.00

00:15:17.040 when they're toddlers even with their their tiny so they literally grow up um believing lies yeah

00:15:23.360 they grow up hating their father based off of uh in large part lies and this isn't every case but

00:15:28.640 what what you're saying what we're saying is that this is far more common than many people would

00:15:34.360 admit. I have a question for you in regards to a statement that has been made somewhat popular in

00:15:42.000 Reformed church circles. And I understand you and I both agree 100% with the principle of male

00:15:48.240 headship. And you correct me if I'm wrong, but I think from following you on X and things like that,

00:15:54.740 that you would agree that that's not just a principle for the church and the home, but then

00:15:59.200 even society at large. We would like to see men fill the roles of civil magistrates and leaders

00:16:04.440 and things like that, even in the realm of the state and society at large. So we both agree

00:16:10.980 with male headship, but I've heard it said in reform circles that, you know, the woman is 0.95

00:16:18.200 capable of sin, but the man is always responsible. How do you feel about that statement? What do you

00:16:25.900 think? You know, I think there's some truth on some level with that, but then there's a very

00:16:32.840 deceptive lie attached to that too. I think a man is responsible for what happens in his home,

00:16:38.680 and by responsible, that means he has to lead his home. Right. And he has to lead it well,

00:16:44.480 of course. He is leading his home. Every man is leading his home, but some lead it very poorly.

00:16:49.040 But is he responsible for her sin? I would go, no, he's not responsible for her sin in this sense, that if he's corrected her, if he's tried to help her and she's unrepentant and she does not want to change and she stays bitter and she stays angry, I don't see how you can put the guilt on the man for that.

00:17:15.900 Now, some people are not saying guilt.

00:17:17.920 Some people are not saying guilt.

00:17:19.380 They're saying responsible.

00:17:20.500 I go, okay, we can nuance that word a lot.

00:17:22.640 I go through it in my book in more detail.

00:17:25.880 But we have to be so careful that we don't blame these men for the sins of their wives.

00:17:33.220 That's what often happens, Joel, that I get this from a lot of different good people,

00:17:39.220 guys that, you know, we're on the same page on almost everything.

00:17:42.560 And then they say, well, the guy would just lead a little bit better.

00:17:47.860 She wouldn't be so mean.

00:17:49.840 Or he would just be kinder to her.

00:17:52.680 She wouldn't be so angry.

00:17:54.880 Or if he just was a tougher guy, this wouldn't be happening.

00:17:59.240 I go, you don't know what you're talking about.

00:18:01.740 It's not true.

00:18:03.300 I wish it was people just tell the guy, hey, shape up and your wife will follow you. 1.00

00:18:07.860 But why don't we hold the wife accountable and say, OK, if you're nasty and mean, 0.60

00:18:12.560 Even if your husband's a bad leader, you don't get the freedom to be nasty and mean. 0.72

00:18:18.140 You don't get the freedom to revile him then.

00:18:20.960 I mean, we could look at 1 Peter 3, even if a man disobeys God's word,

00:18:25.240 she's still supposed to be subject. 0.99

00:18:27.140 In Titus 2, the older women should be training the younger women 0.96

00:18:31.160 to be submissive to their husbands so that the word of God is not blasphemed,

00:18:36.260 the actual word that's used there.

00:18:38.660 Very strong word.

00:18:39.820 uh ephesians 5 talks about about that wives should be submissive to their husbands in everything

00:18:46.720 but the thing she wants to submit in but in everything like like even uh like even wearing

00:18:54.120 a red dress everything even something like that yeah we get into these little things it's like

00:19:00.960 oh boy that's gonna explode isn't it well and that's the problem is like everybody always wants

00:19:05.440 to get cute and technical and make an exception but when you make so many exceptions or you only

00:19:10.620 emphasize the exception if if all you ever do is emphasize the exception then then subtly what

00:19:15.820 you're actually communicating is that the exception is not the exception if it's the only

00:19:19.480 thing emphasized you've now made the exception the norm and the reality is that um in my opinion

00:19:25.380 correct me if i'm wrong but from what i can tell from the scripture um a wife is not to submit to

00:19:30.480 or husband when he forbids that which God commands or commands that which God forbids. The same as

00:19:36.800 a husband or a wife, for that matter, man or woman, and their duty to submit to the civil magistrate,

00:19:42.940 right? So like when it was all the COVID restrictions, you can't go to church, you know,

00:19:46.360 you can't work your job, you know, like we, you know, that was the language, the rhetoric that

00:19:51.400 we employed, you know, we said, well, wait a second, resistance to tyranny is obedience to

00:19:57.940 god you know and so but it actually has to be tyranny and that that's the problem is that we

00:20:02.560 would take that same principle your john knox you know or your lex rex you know rutherford and and

00:20:08.360 we would apply that to wives uh but then the problem is that we basically categorize any

00:20:13.840 authoritative statement that a husband would ever make as tyranny we say it's all tyranny you know 0.98

00:20:20.140 so like whereas a husband like yes he could be a jerk he really could but i don't know anybody i 0.98

00:20:26.700 I mean, I counsel tons of people all the time. 1.00

00:20:30.020 I don't know any husband who is being a tyrannical jerk 0.99

00:20:33.500 with his wife's wardrobe on an hour-to-hour, 0.99

00:20:36.740 day-to-day, week-to-week basis.

00:20:39.560 So I don't know anybody like that.

00:20:40.980 So then let's talk practically.

00:20:42.900 Let's not just talk about the extreme hypotheticals.

00:20:45.860 Let's talk about practically what actually occurs.

00:20:48.940 There may be some few,

00:20:51.620 there are very few and far between instances

00:20:53.600 where a husband asks his wife politely, kindly,

00:20:58.480 and says, hey, would you wear this particular dress?

00:21:00.800 I love this dress.

00:21:01.900 It's one of my favorites.

00:21:02.680 You always look so beautiful in it,

00:21:04.520 and we're going to such and such event

00:21:06.760 or this or that or whatever,

00:21:08.220 and I would love if you wore this dress. 0.98

00:21:11.260 And she's like, you're dictating my wardrobe? 1.00

00:21:15.060 This is tyranny. 0.98

00:21:15.440 You're controlling me.

00:21:16.940 Right, but then who's the first person?

00:21:19.940 Let's be honest.

00:21:20.380 Who's the first person to come to her defense? 1.00

00:21:22.200 um well uh oprah winfrey that that you know notorious feminist no her reformed pastor 1.00

00:21:29.180 her reformed pastor will be the first person to side with her when we literally have a verse in 1.00

00:21:37.080 the bible that says wives submit to your husbands in everything um and unless there's some kind of 1.00

00:21:42.640 command that clearly describes that dress as inherently immoral for her to wear, like the

00:21:54.520 dress is incredibly immodest or skimpy. But if it's a tasteful, modest dress, and he's simply

00:22:02.620 expressing his preference, I would like for you to wear this dress at this event, that actually

00:22:08.980 falls perfectly square, as far as I can tell, underneath the banner of his headship and the

00:22:15.120 proper godly response from a godly woman who fears the Lord is, yes, my Lord, you know,

00:22:22.460 she wants to be like Sarah, you know, like, or at least, sure, honey, I'd love to. I'm glad that

00:22:30.900 you think I'm beautiful in this dress. I'd love to. But my point is, like, as I witnessed the

00:22:36.980 discourse and podcasts and then sermons and in Twitter posting, you know, from, again, I'm not

00:22:42.340 talking about, I was being facetious. I'm not talking about Oprah Winfrey. I'm not talking

00:22:45.900 about the world from reformed pastors. It is always bringing up the exception. I don't, I don't

00:22:53.440 get it. What do you think? The exceptions become the rule. That's, that's what happens, you know?

00:23:01.420 Well, are you saying, Joel and David, that a wife should allow a husband to beat her up?

00:23:08.200 No, of course not. 0.93

00:23:10.000 Are you saying it's okay for a wife to be raped by her husband and she just submits to it? 0.97

00:23:15.060 Of course not.

00:23:16.380 You know, no one is, I don't know anybody that's saying that.

00:23:20.560 But we are talking about day-to-day decisions, just day-to-day things.

00:23:24.700 And it's so ironic, too, because my wife asks me, says, what do you want me to wear?

00:23:32.060 Do you like this dress or this dress?

00:23:33.800 Do you like these shoes or these shoes, this color or that color?

00:23:36.760 And I go, I like that one.

00:23:38.300 And she says, OK, I'll wear it.

00:23:39.920 I go, that's it.

00:23:41.240 It's not a big deal.

00:23:42.500 It's not it's not something we're fighting over. 1.00

00:23:45.020 But what happens with the reviling wife is she weaponizes her emotions about all of these things. 1.00

00:23:52.800 You're controlling me. 1.00

00:23:54.040 you're dictating to me you're telling me what to do you're you're just trying to be a tyrant

00:24:00.180 and you know you're into this patriarchy male headship stuff and that's dangerous and i go

00:24:06.780 no it's not it's biblical it's what god teaches you know the irony uh dr edgington i i just thought

00:24:15.020 of this you know the irony with the red dress uh example the average wife has been dictate dictating

00:24:22.300 the wardrobe of her husband for like going on like five or six decades now and we joke i mean

00:24:28.700 it's literally like it's pretty common and i like we literally make jokes about it like yeah i don't

00:24:33.560 wear that anymore my wife won't let me you know or like my wife does all that you know she's she's

00:24:38.300 in charge you know she she's you gotta ask the boss you know we have all these little lines these

00:24:42.920 little throwaway lines in our in our culture that are absolutely just as present if not even more

00:24:48.760 present in church culture. She's the boss. She's the one who decides the wardrobe and makes all 0.55

00:24:54.740 the clothing decisions. And yeah, I like that sweater, but I haven't worn it. It's sitting

00:25:00.360 collecting moths and dust in the closet. I haven't worn it for seven years because my wife

00:25:05.780 told me I'm not allowed to. And we'll joke about it, but there is an underlining truth there

00:25:10.780 that very, very commonly a wife who tends to be more tasteful when it comes to those kinds of 0.72

00:25:18.120 things like like you know dress attire than the man she has usually lots of opinions usually

00:25:24.380 substantially more than he does about what the family wears and and for the most part pretty

00:25:30.800 much every man i've ever talked to is perfectly comfortable abiding by those opinions so she's

00:25:36.140 expressing preference and and nine out of ten times he's happy to oblige uh but then you know

00:25:42.340 but then you have the reversal. In some rare case, he actually has an opinion on dress attire

00:25:49.960 for her, and then that's used as an example by Reformed pastors, used as an example of an

00:25:58.800 overreach of male authority. And I'm sitting over here saying, what in the world are we talking

00:26:07.300 about. See, and it's even more, I mean, I don't, I guess I don't get hung up on the red dress

00:26:13.740 thing. I don't hear too much about that, but maybe I hear about going to a church. Let's pick a church

00:26:19.740 to go to. And the husband says, well, boy, I really like this church. I like the pastor. I

00:26:25.460 like the theology. I like his preaching. I like this. I like that. And the wife says, no, I don't

00:26:30.500 like that church. And then the guy has a choice. He goes, okay, we'll go where you want to go,

00:26:35.000 which is abdication which is wrong on his part or he says you know no this is the best church

00:26:42.760 for us to go to honey and let's let let's talk about this let's go in this direction now is he

00:26:48.700 being a tyrant or is he being a leader he's being a leader same with counseling this is the other

00:26:54.880 thing that i i have to talk to men about this when they contact and by the way just so everyone knows

00:27:01.140 this is again not an exaggeration i get contacted by men every day about the reviling wife and the

00:27:10.380 white knight every day email phone text every and after this podcast it's going to be even more

00:27:17.960 people so i go okay maybe it'll be maybe it'll be two a day now but um but i hear from men all the

00:27:24.620 time and they say well you know my wife doesn't want to go to you for counseling david because

00:27:29.480 She's seen your book, The Abusive Wife.

00:27:32.040 She's seen a podcast or she's been on your website.

00:27:34.520 And I go, OK.

00:27:37.200 What I would suggest you do is you inform her that, you know, we need to see David for counseling.

00:27:44.420 Let's go at least one time, maybe two times.

00:27:48.080 See how it goes.

00:27:49.980 Give him a chance.

00:27:51.640 You know, he's not biased.

00:27:53.040 David has already said he's going to hold the man accountable.

00:27:56.020 He's going to hold the wife accountable.

00:27:57.740 I'm not biased.

00:27:58.540 I say, even though I've seen all these reviling wives, I still say, you know, man, if you're in sin, I'm going to call you out on it, too.

00:28:09.700 So, but that's just another subtle way for the man to learn how to lead is to say, you know, honey, we need to go to this guy for counseling.

00:28:16.860 I've checked. This is the direction we need to go.

00:28:19.600 And if the man thinks that's the case, he should be standing and holding the line on that rather than just going to a feminist counselor, going to a woman counselor for the for the husband and wife, rather than going to a secular counselor or a psychological counselor.

00:28:35.200 A lot of men, they try to appease their wives rather than lead their wives. And in the process, they get into more and more trouble. And I'll comment on the other side that you mentioned a few times, too.

00:28:48.200 It really puzzles me about Reformed churches that get this wrong.

00:28:55.160 Talking about Reformed Baptists, Reformed Presbyterians, doesn't matter.

00:29:00.360 That, you know, we should be the ones that have the highest standard of the Word of God,

00:29:05.760 in my opinion, that this is the way the Scripture should be understood.

00:29:10.240 I have plenty of Armenian friends and brothers.

00:29:13.360 but reform guys not getting this right and again not just not getting it right but turning against

00:29:21.960 the guy and blaming the guy i go this is a real head scratcher for me i don't i don't get how that

00:29:28.200 keeps happening over and over and over again it's almost like there's an elitist society among

00:29:33.780 pastors that we are untouchable because we know everything and don't you dare question or challenge

00:29:39.860 us. And so here comes, you know, Boomer Dave and saying, yeah, I'm going to challenge that because

00:29:46.380 I've been around the block for a while. I've been a pastor for 33 years and I know what God's word

00:29:53.400 says. And you have to hold the husband accountable and you have to hold the wife accountable. Why do 0.93

00:29:57.740 we only hold the man accountable? Why do we, there's a number of churches that will preach

00:30:04.400 these things. But then when you get into the counseling office, they back off on it. So in

00:30:11.260 other words, they'll preach about male headship and women should submit. Some churches will do 1.00

00:30:16.320 that. But then they get in the counseling office, and it's almost like a different guy. The guy from

00:30:21.760 the pulpit to the guy in the counseling office is a different guy. And the men, the husbands come to

00:30:27.580 me and they say, I don't get it. He's a good preacher. He's a good teacher. He understands

00:30:32.180 God's word so clearly. He preaches it. He teaches it really well. But then he gets into the counseling

00:30:38.320 office, and it's a different guy. Where happened? What happened to the bold preacher? Now he's

00:30:44.500 cowering because he's face-to-face with a woman who might disagree with him. That's one of the

00:30:51.080 differences between preaching and teaching, isn't it? Preaching, you can preach and say anything you

00:30:55.280 want, and you're not going to get too much pushback. But you're face-to-face in an office

00:31:01.080 with somebody, you're going to get immediate feedback from them, whether they like what

00:31:04.720 you're saying or they hate what you're saying. So I think a lot of people go cowardly in the

00:31:10.820 counseling office because they say, okay, I might get some pushback from a woman, so I have to

00:31:16.320 protect her. So we didn't really define that, but that's what the white knight is, the term white

00:31:21.820 knight. Some people are not familiar with that term. Most people that contact me, they know what

00:31:26.640 That means the white knight is the man that rushes to the rescue of the wife who's clearly

00:31:33.860 in sin, not suspected of sin, just clearly in sin, and he runs cover for her.

00:31:40.700 He protects her, and he blames the husband.

00:31:44.440 So one of the ways it works out, if the husband is angry about something, they confront the

00:31:50.560 husband and say, what are you so angry about?

00:31:52.660 Okay, that's right.

00:31:54.140 That's appropriate.

00:31:54.700 but then they look at the wife, and she's angry, and then they say, well, husband, what did you do

00:31:59.400 to make her so angry? It's a double standard. You go, wait, okay, to some level you can ask that

00:32:06.040 question, but ultimately you have to say, wife, your anger is sin. This is not appropriate. This

00:32:11.420 is a bitter, hostile, unrepentant, unsubmissive sin that you're committing here. You don't just

00:32:18.280 get a pass on that. The white knight will never do that. The white knight will kick the man out

00:32:24.460 of the church the white knight will approve of a divorce the white knight will even sometimes take

00:32:31.940 the wife and the children into his own home or into the home of one of the elders and not even

00:32:38.280 tell the man what's going on in other words not even in the husband yeah i've seen that i've seen

00:32:46.380 that even with um sadly even with a daughter um where you know the daughter older teenage daughter

00:32:53.520 complaining about her father being abusive when it was not true and um and that daughter taken by

00:33:00.160 the pastors into custody the pastor's not telling her own father and mother where she is what's

00:33:07.300 going on not permitting them to speak to her and they're being um incredibly painful consequences

00:33:14.440 down the line uh pastors i i think uh ironically it really is tyrannical so pastors are you know

00:33:22.840 they're, they say that they're so concerned about a husband or a father exercising tyranny over his

00:33:28.080 family. Meanwhile, um, they are intervening and, uh, inserting themselves, um, over the authority

00:33:37.160 of a husband and father in the home where they don't actually have jurisdiction. Um, and I've

00:33:42.200 seen many reformed pastors who push comes to shove, right? It's sometimes hard to get them

00:33:47.400 to verbally admit it out loud but when push comes to shove um you'll you'll quickly discover they

00:33:53.640 believe that the authority of the pastor um is basically a universal authority they think that

00:34:01.180 um that it uh supersedes uh the authority of a husband and father in the home they think that

00:34:07.480 it you know supersedes if they could they you know they're powerless to do so but if they could they

00:34:12.220 would say that it supersedes you know the authority of civil magistrates in the realm of the state

00:34:16.260 uh this this mindset uh which is prominent i i think especially not not just including but

00:34:23.240 especially within reformed church circles uh this mindset of basically the pastor being an expert

00:34:30.740 in everything he is you know he's the expert in every single field he's a political expert somehow

00:34:37.620 he's an expert in engineering he's an expert in this he's an expert like and he just has limitless

00:34:43.300 authority in every realm in every sphere um and uh and it's really i think it's really become a

00:34:49.560 problem wes it seemed like you were going to ask a question or say something i was just going to

00:34:53.460 ask doctor um it seems like from your title white knights and reviling wives you don't get the

00:34:58.960 second one without the first one so there's plenty of cultures they're not christian but they don't

00:35:04.080 have reviling wives the women in society are not they wouldn't treat men the way that even here in

00:35:10.300 a Christian society, increasingly less so, but in a Christian marriage, ostensibly, they treat their

00:35:16.440 husbands worse than non-Christian wives would treat their husbands. I think of cultures like 0.99

00:35:21.900 Islam in the Middle East. So it seems to me, and you can tell me if you agree, that second part

00:35:26.860 is essential to it. You don't get the reviling wife if all the men in society, your judges, 0.52

00:35:31.720 your civil magistrates, your pastors, they say no more. It's only the combination of the two,

00:35:36.980 and then one plus two reviling wives white knights equals feminism that destroys a nation 0.75

00:35:43.180 you just have reviling wives but they're kept in check by the men of a society it seems to me um

00:35:49.660 it wouldn't be as much of a problem no you can't act that way no you can't dress that way no you

00:35:54.980 can't talk that way and so it is the abdication at some level of men allowing it that then you

00:36:00.520 come about and you actually have the crisis that we have does that sound accurate there goes wesley

00:36:04.740 blaming men no that is true yeah go ahead and you know and honestly you do have to be careful with

00:36:12.580 that it could just come across as well it's it's men's fault and that this is happening so on one

00:36:18.320 level i think it is on another level i just want to be sure there is ain't no way that we are

00:36:24.280 promoting any kind of islamic republic here or anything that would that's what we need we need 0.80

00:36:29.960 this is monica oppression and tyranny and then this problem will go away i'm like oh no i got 0.88

00:36:35.700 i got a whole nother problem but the uh we have to understand this does happen in almost every

00:36:46.260 culture there are white knights in pretty much every culture including islamic ones too i know

00:36:51.920 in some of the extreme ones there's not but i mean we can think of plenty of muslims right now 0.99

00:36:59.420 that are tyrants that are women that are reviling lives right i mean you and i could name plenty of 1.00

00:37:07.800 names right now and we go oh boy yeah this this is this is a big problem ilhan omar boom roasted 0.99

00:37:16.620 yeah there's one but you know but we do have to look at this from the other side and say yes we

00:37:24.800 do have to train men to be courageous and strong and bold and to have that inner life, that inner

00:37:34.740 strength in them, not just outward physical strength, but that inner courage to be able to be

00:37:41.760 unbending and unmoving when they're following God's word. They have to fear God more than they

00:37:50.100 fear their wife. This is often what falls apart here. They fear their wife more than they fear

00:37:57.560 their God, or they fear the pastor more than they fear God. And all these things that you guys have

00:38:04.620 been saying is that the pastor becomes the surrogate husband, really, to the wife. I'll protect you.

00:38:13.420 You come to me. If you've got a question about your husband, talk to me. Don't even talk to him

00:38:19.400 about it. That's treachery. That's a betrayal of the marriage itself. She's betraying the

00:38:26.020 marriage. He's entertaining gossip. He's taking it on himself to try to split them apart. He may

00:38:34.440 not want a romantic interest with this reviling wife, but he's defending her as if she's his own

00:38:41.760 wife, and he's defending her blindly. So he is a major, major contributor to this problem.

00:38:49.400 So getting back to your point, if pastors in America, I'll just talk about America.

00:38:55.560 I'm not an expert on other cultures.

00:38:59.720 If pastors in America would stand up and say, you know what? 0.93

00:39:03.640 We don't want to be tyrants, but we're just going to hold women accountable. 0.89

00:39:07.920 We're just going to hold wives accountable, just like we hold men accountable. 1.00

00:39:11.200 This problem would be changed in the generation. 0.95

00:39:13.940 It would be gone.

00:39:14.940 because I think that may be what you're saying.

00:39:18.340 You said it a little differently than I would,

00:39:20.300 but I think that's what you're implying there

00:39:21.840 is that if men would stand up, all men, not just a few,

00:39:27.140 then wives would eventually have to make a decision

00:39:29.800 and say, okay, I'm going to be all alone 1.00

00:39:31.560 for the rest of my life.

00:39:33.560 Well, I better repent.

00:39:35.380 And repentance is what God calls me to do.

00:39:39.180 And I should be doing that.

00:39:40.940 I should be looking at that. 1.00

00:39:42.020 But when men just keep running cover for these wives, 1.00

00:39:44.940 it's never going to end. But sadly, here's what I see happening. The momentum is growing. 0.94

00:39:51.180 There's more and more men. Now I'm counseling men from the same church. So in other words,

00:39:56.760 one guy from the church contacts me and another guy from the same church contacts me. They don't

00:40:01.600 know each other, but they're both going through the same thing with the same pastor. And so I

00:40:08.040 talked to the guys. I said, okay, is it okay if I get you two connected with each other? And they

00:40:13.680 go, oh, please. Yes. Yes. And I get them connected and they're like, oh man, you're going through

00:40:18.580 exactly what I'm going through. And then they both try to get some help to get the pastor to

00:40:25.560 turn around. Often the pastors won't. I have very few stories of pastors that repent and say,

00:40:32.820 yeah, you're right. I've been a white knight. I've had a few. I had one of them come up to me at one

00:40:39.560 of the conferences last, this past year. And he said, you know what? I got a confession to make.

00:40:44.860 Thank you for all that you've done. I've been a white knight. And I said, really? And he explained

00:40:51.100 to me what was happening. And he says, but I'm repentant. And I know I can't do this. I'm not

00:40:56.820 honoring God. I go, good for you, brother. Good for you. Nobody's against you, but we're, we're

00:41:02.580 glad that you're simply following the scriptures now. Here's another thing that I find too,

00:41:08.300 that's really interesting. Maybe you guys can comment on this, that when I counsel the husband

00:41:15.060 and wife together, I find that the husband, he hears what I say. I rebuke him about something.

00:41:22.500 I say, man, that was sinful, man. That's not okay. He goes, yeah, you're right. Thanks for

00:41:29.700 pointing that out. And then he changes. But the reviling wife, when I do the same thing with her,

00:41:35.020 she says, how dare you? You just side with the man all the time. I go, I just rebuked your 1.00

00:41:39.880 husband. Why would you say I'm siding with the man? I just rebuked him. And he, you know,

00:41:44.860 he humbled himself. He heard it and he's repentant and he's going to be repenting.

00:41:50.520 But a lot of times it's a lack of humility on the part of these reviling wives. It's always 1.00

00:41:56.940 a lack of humility and a failure to want to be held accountable. They don't want to be held

00:42:02.420 accountable. Let me do whatever I want. Don't you ever try to correct me. So here's another

00:42:09.900 piece of the puzzle that is so important to get right. If you're a pastor listening to this or

00:42:15.980 a counselor listening to this podcast, you've got to get this part right. Everything else I say is

00:42:22.340 important, but this is the most important part. If you only counsel that wife without the husband 0.99

00:42:28.200 being present, you're going to destroy that marriage. And the reason is because you're 0.95

00:42:34.300 going to listen to gossip, that wife is going to slander her husband, and that marriage is going 0.56

00:42:41.360 to be over because you're going to side with that woman before you even listen to the man's side of 0.74

00:42:45.900 the story. In fact, many of you pastors, you don't even care. You don't even talk to the man.

00:42:52.080 What's the other side of the story? She's made all kinds of blanket accusations, and the pastor

00:42:57.820 just undiscerningly just receives them. And he says, this is a terrible man. He's abusive.

00:43:04.520 He's dangerous. This is domestic violence. This is, you know, and nothing of the sort has happened.

00:43:11.620 But they never talked to the man. They've already condemned the man in their own mind.

00:43:16.440 But by the time they talk to the man, it's too late and the marriage is almost over.

00:43:20.400 so important you've got to talk to the husband and the wife together right from the beginning

00:43:28.020 at the same time not talk to the wife and then say well we'll talk to your husband

00:43:34.020 it's too late you have to do them right from the beginning it's amazing how that is the key piece

00:43:43.100 if you don't do that it's gonna it's gonna come out wrong sadly i see it all the time

00:43:49.700 yep well said all right let's do this let's go to our first commercial break and if you guys are

00:43:56.360 just now some of you hopping on to the live stream this is a live broadcast and we are going to be

00:44:02.220 fielding questions directed uh straight to dr david edgington we have him on the show we have

00:44:09.440 this opportunity uh this is what he does all day every day he does counseling uh with husbands and

00:44:17.040 wives, marriage counseling. And so we are not going to, you know, a lot of times with the

00:44:22.480 live stream, you guys will send in your super chats and it's, you know, it's kind of across

00:44:26.420 the whole gambit and that's perfectly fine. But for today, we're going to address every single

00:44:31.940 super chat, but with one exception, even if you put money behind it, if you send it a super chat

00:44:37.400 and you're asking us some kind of question that's not related to the topic today, then we're going

00:44:42.080 to go ahead and ignore that because we don't want to waste Dr. David Edgington's time. He's

00:44:47.160 graciously given us some time. So we're going to spend probably 45 minutes after this commercial

00:44:51.080 break dealing with the super chats, questions and comments, but they have to relate to the topic

00:44:56.620 at hand. So let's go to our first commercial break. We'll be right back dealing with your

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00:50:04.040 All right, we're back.

00:50:05.220 we're going to spend about 45 minutes going through the super chats. We're going to try to

00:50:08.520 take them as quickly as we can. So David, if you could spend just a minute or two on each of these,

00:50:14.500 because we already have probably close to, you know, 10 to 20 of them lined up. So here's the

00:50:19.880 first one. 10th generation American, S-O-A-R, Sons of the American Republic, Revolution. There 0.63

00:50:26.260 it is. Nailed it first try. Okay. $2 super chat. We appreciate that. Thank you. He said,

00:50:30.760 white knights are currently in power. With white knights in power in our society, in the church at

00:50:35.780 large, how do we fix it? If the white knights are in authority, then how do we fix it, especially 0.72

00:50:42.320 with the church? How do we purge white knights from the church? I think it's a great question. 0.92

00:50:48.760 It's not an easy answer, but what we have to do is we've got to speak up. If you're a man that

00:50:55.040 has had an experience like i'm describing with a white knight you need to confront him with love

00:51:01.440 but be bold and strong tell him what where his error is and if he will not repent you leave his

00:51:10.100 church we need to do that one man at a time this is the only way it's going to be overturned the

00:51:17.160 average person cannot see the white knight but you if you've been through this you know exactly

00:51:22.760 what's going on so we're we're going to have to do this slowly and gradually but the more men that

00:51:32.040 go through this the more we can have an effect on this so that would be a quick answer to that

00:51:38.740 okay well said uh this next question i'm going to go ahead and find there's a um a scripture

00:51:44.700 reference it's first corinthians chapter 11 verse 7 okay so i'm going to read that real quick and

00:51:50.680 then i'll ask the question so this is first corinthians chapter 11 verse 7 it says for a man

00:51:55.160 indeed ought not to cover his head for as much as he is the image and glory of god but the woman

00:52:02.520 is the glory of man so i know what this question is getting at i'm going to read it here in just

00:52:07.460 a second and i agree i think with the intent behind it uh but the particular way that this

00:52:13.380 individual phrased it um i i wouldn't necessarily agree with the phrasing i think it could be worded

00:52:19.100 better. But here's the question nonetheless. This is from S.E. Walker. He gave us $5. Thank you

00:52:24.720 very much. We appreciate that. He said, per 1 Corinthians 11, chapter 11, verse 7,

00:52:30.900 how can we better communicate to women that their duty is to man and not to God? How can we better

00:52:37.580 communicate to women that their duty is to man and not to God? Again, I'll say, I'll speak for 1.00

00:52:43.020 myself and then i'll hand it to you dr edgington but um i that would not be my preferred wording

00:52:49.620 of the question um but i think you can probably see having read first corinthians 11 7 what he's

00:52:56.100 getting at yeah i think i understand the intent of that i would phrase it differently too um i think

00:53:03.040 in fact a woman's obligation is to god and not to man and therefore she has to follow god's design

00:53:11.680 in what God says, which is to submit to your husband. So if she is unsubmissive, she's not

00:53:18.420 only disobeying her husband, which is a problem, ultimately she's disobeying God. She's not

00:53:23.920 submitting to God. So I think a God-centered woman, a God-centered wife is going to be a 1.00

00:53:30.300 submissive wife. She is not going to be a reviling wife. So it's not about just following a man, 0.98

00:53:35.340 is about following God. Amen. Well said. This next one is from Deacon St. John 0321. He gave

00:53:44.100 us a $10 super chat. We really appreciate that. Thank you for your generosity. He wrote,

00:53:48.580 I have not seen my 12-year-old daughter in almost 13 years. Slander and lies drove her away from me. 0.61

00:53:58.980 i text to maintain contact and my door is always open to her i will take any prayers and advice

00:54:05.860 you might have those those are the ones that break my heart the most and i and i hear those

00:54:13.240 very often sadly there is no easy way to get contact back with an absence of 13 years that's

00:54:23.500 very hard to overcome because likely if you've written letters to that child they never get to

00:54:31.500 the child the mother will prevent them if you tried to make phone calls if you tried to have

00:54:36.840 some type of interaction she's likely shut that off as well so my heart goes out to you with with

00:54:45.960 that that that is in my mind that's a pain worse than death you know because your your child is

00:54:52.280 alive and yet probably despises you. But one of the things I would urge everyone that's going

00:54:59.840 through this, read Psalm 55. Read the whole psalm. This is a psalm with David where he was dealing

00:55:08.280 with the betrayal and the treachery of Ahithophel and probably his son Absalom. And the things that

00:55:16.560 king david went through are very much like what any man with a reviling wife and a white knight

00:55:23.240 goes through and you'll you'll find some direction in that psalm for what you need to do what your

00:55:29.760 cries to god need to be and and the lord will hear your prayers i i i pray that you're reconciled

00:55:38.380 with your child again but i you know there's no guarantees on that okay well said uh this is from

00:55:46.600 10th generation americans sons of american uh revolution he uh wrote in another time gave us

00:55:53.740 five dollars we appreciate that he said more of a comment than a question um but um i think he's

00:55:59.600 right he said the shield wall feels so broken uh we're getting hit from every side growing up with

00:56:06.260 second feminism wave moms, third wave feminism sisters, and passive woke or white knight, 1.00

00:56:15.720 passive white knight pastors, and as a cherry on top, a tilted court system that always favors 1.00

00:56:24.880 the woman over the man. It feels hopeless. Any thoughts or response to that? Yeah, I think we

00:56:32.580 have to be staying away from despondency, staying away from dismay like that. I know it feels

00:56:40.420 hopeless, but it's not, because the Lord is the king of his church, and we don't want to check

00:56:46.820 out of church. As bad as these things are, the church needs good men in it to steer it back in

00:56:54.440 the right direction. So please don't lose hope, don't lose courage. Instead, rise up, stand up,

00:57:01.760 be a godly man be a man of integrity and and rise and lead in the way that you can in the

00:57:09.520 sphere that god has given you but don't retreat stand keep standing that's what men do we don't

00:57:17.200 back down even if we're outnumbered which we are we are outnumbered but actually i think

00:57:23.680 it might be the opposite we may outnumber them we just don't know it we don't know each other yet

00:57:29.660 though but but let's let's seek to revive and reform the lord's church times of darkness that's

00:57:38.700 what we want we don't check out of the church we say no the church is very sick the church needs

00:57:44.020 needs help let's be a part of that yep well said all right next one is will nelson 73 he gave us a

00:57:53.500 $10 super chat. Will Nelson, thank you. We appreciate that. He said, it's such an uphill

00:57:58.800 battle. I know godly couples who nonetheless raised daughters that became reviling wives.

00:58:05.400 How do you avoid this in light of modern society? So as the parents instilling in your daughter,

00:58:12.920 if you're the father or mother of daughters, everything that the Bible would say to the best

00:58:17.380 of your ability, but knowing that the moment they leave your home, they're going to be completely

00:58:23.040 inundated with the exact opposite indoctrination um what what are some things that parents christian

00:58:32.080 parents can do uh to set up their children in such a way that perhaps they're more resistant

00:58:38.140 um you know to to that uh opposite indoctrination as soon as they leave the house right

00:58:45.280 proverbs talks about train up a child in the way he should go when he's older he will not depart

00:58:52.240 from it and that would be the one thing that i would urge um you're 71 so you're a little bit

00:58:58.780 older than i am but um the average young woman today is not taught what it means to be feminine 0.98

00:59:06.840 what does it mean to be a woman to be a wife some women are just looking for marriage or they're 0.87

00:59:14.520 looking for a wedding but they're not looking for marriage in other words they want to get 1.00

00:59:18.560 the ceremony but they don't want to have responsibility of being a wife this is what

00:59:24.460 you want to do with your young girls train them what it means to be feminine i find so many of

00:59:30.700 the women that i talk to that the things i tell them they say man my parents never taught me that

00:59:35.520 i never heard i never heard this before in my life and those are the ones that are you know

00:59:39.720 they're open they want to know so there are those that are that just get indoctrinated when they get

00:59:45.040 out of the house or in college or in the workforce, wherever it is. But you want to be

00:59:50.940 training your children while they're young and not just give that responsibility to someone else.

00:59:57.640 Sometimes we give that responsibility to the church, to the school, to society. That has to

01:00:03.380 start in the home. It has to start with mom training the children what it means to be feminine 1.00

01:00:07.840 and dad instilling the same thing in his daughters. And all the things that I said

01:00:13.740 apply to young women who teach them, what does it mean to be a man?

01:00:18.400 What does it mean to be a masculine man?

01:00:23.120 Yeah. Wes, why don't you pick up with Alan Hatz?

01:00:26.040 Alright, that dovetails nicely into this question from Alan Hatz, who sent

01:00:30.020 $5. Thank you, Alan. He said this, forget white nights after marriage

01:00:34.240 how many pastors neglect their role before marriage in clearly defining

01:00:38.260 the biblical roles of husband and wives?

01:00:43.740 Could you read that one again?

01:00:46.300 Sure.

01:00:47.080 Forget white nights, the white nights after marriage.

01:00:50.220 How many pastors neglect their role before marriage

01:00:53.920 in clearly defining the biblical roles of husbands and wives?

01:00:58.520 What do you think?

01:00:59.160 I think those go together.

01:01:01.360 I think if he's neglecting it after marriage,

01:01:03.940 he's probably neglecting it before marriage as well.

01:01:06.820 He probably doesn't have a good understanding of what that means.

01:01:10.600 Maybe he understands it doctrinally.

01:01:13.380 he understands it theologically, he understands what the scripture says, but doesn't have the

01:01:18.860 courage to implement it. I think that's one of the main ingredients that's missing in the white 1.00

01:01:25.040 knight, is courage, strength of conviction. This is what the Word of God says. Even if every woman

01:01:31.120 in the church gets mad at me and walks out the door, I'm going to keep preaching and counseling

01:01:36.280 what the Word of God says. So I'm not sure it's just something that slowly creeps in over the

01:01:42.100 years. I think it's been there all along. Why don't you take that next one? Bishops sent $10.

01:01:50.060 Thank you. They said this, wife that is not abusive, but has a struggle with submission

01:01:55.500 when I am just trying to lead her biblically and maybe has some feminism and thinks I just

01:02:01.540 go against her views for fun. Any advice? Yeah, not just for fun, but I normally

01:02:11.160 categorize it that there's two different types of, we'll say, rebellious wives. There's the 1.00

01:02:17.580 reviling wife, which is the one that we've mainly talked about today. She's nasty. She's cruel. 1.00

01:02:23.140 She's screaming. She's yelling. She's bitter. She's contentious. She yells. She curses. She's 1.00

01:02:29.880 angrily refuses leadership. But then there's the other type, which sounds more like what

01:02:35.780 our reader is talking about is the one that resists. She's more passive in her rebellion. 0.92

01:02:42.840 She just says, no, thank you. No, I won't follow you. I won't do what you asked. And she never

01:02:48.840 raises her voice. She never screams. She never yells. But she's scheming. She's covert. She's

01:02:55.660 going her own way. She's just refusing to follow, and she withdraws. She looks for ways to manipulate.

01:03:02.040 She looks for ways to scheme with her, to get control of her husband.

01:03:06.920 She's back in Genesis 3, 16, that her desires are contrary to her husband's.

01:03:14.340 So the counsel is for you, husband, to continue to lead your wife, to not back down, not allow

01:03:23.360 those false accusations to stick.

01:03:26.600 If they're false, don't let them stick and say, oh, she's defined me and that's who I

01:03:31.660 am.

01:03:31.860 I go, no, if that's not who you are, don't agree with that.

01:03:35.900 Just continue to love her, graciously lead her, but be firm in that.

01:03:40.900 Don't back down.

01:03:42.260 Do not back down.

01:03:43.540 Do not abdicate.

01:03:44.960 That's when it's going to get worse.

01:03:47.900 Well said. 1.00

01:03:49.140 S.C. Wilker sent another stupid chat. 0.99

01:03:51.520 This is in reference to the earlier question we had on 1 Corinthians 11, 7. 0.99

01:03:56.520 They followed it up with this.

01:03:57.520 They said, for your last response, this gets dangerous. 0.50

01:04:00.620 So this being the woman serving both God and man.

01:04:04.200 When the woman claims God's desires are different than her husband's, 0.64

01:04:08.900 and they quote the scripture, no one can serve two masters.

01:04:11.940 So the idea is in saying, well, woman's service is both to God and man,

01:04:17.120 the woman could say, well, I'm actually serving God,

01:04:19.500 and they would say this gets dangerous.

01:04:20.900 Anything to follow up on that one?

01:04:24.140 Well, one of the false flags that is almost without fail

01:04:27.580 is to say something like, my husband is dangerous, or I don't feel safe around him. And I always

01:04:34.040 push back on that. I say, what do you mean? Is he brandishing weapons? Is he punching holes in

01:04:39.740 walls? Is he beating you or the children? And it's all about emotion. It's all about feeling.

01:04:44.720 It's not about anything objective or true. So we can't be blackmailed by that and say, you know,

01:04:51.020 the wife says it's not safe, therefore it's not safe. It's like, no, if there's no legitimacy to

01:04:56.780 that accusation, then we dismiss it and say, you know, it just sounds like you don't want to submit

01:05:02.580 to what your husband is asking you to do. And it's usually over very simple, basic things,

01:05:09.220 not even like a red dress kind of a thing, but just very basic, simple things. And so

01:05:15.720 I hear that very often. My husband is dangerous. My husband is not safe. And I take it seriously.

01:05:23.560 I asked them, okay, what do you mean? This is a pretty serious accusation you're making against

01:05:29.380 your husband. Tell me what that means. Is he beating you? Is he doing this? And I go, no,

01:05:34.220 he's not doing that. Well, what's he doing? Well, he's just asking me to do stuff I don't want to do.

01:05:38.820 Well, is it something sinful or immoral? No, no, it's not that. Just don't agree with him. I go,

01:05:43.780 well, you have to submit to that. That's what God's word says. We have to get back to the

01:05:49.940 objective truth of god's word and say we have to follow the word of god that's that's where

01:05:55.960 you're going to be safe you follow god's word you're you're in the safest place you could

01:06:00.000 possibly be well said our good uh is this our last one now uh yes all right i think we're there

01:06:08.740 uh this is from um dakota davis right dakota the man right here on stream okay uh and it'd be

01:06:19.920 uh eight one six eight it's his it's his name but it's spelled backwards savod social security

01:06:26.300 number akita something like that yeah okay uh anyways he gave us a five dollar super chat we

01:06:31.480 appreciate that very kind he said how do i help my son steer clear of a rhino version of a submissive 1.00

01:06:39.100 woman right so just a submissive woman in name only um there are witches hiding under head

01:06:47.420 coverings even these days um how do i how do i help my son uh not fall for that yeah yeah that's

01:06:55.060 a great question i explore that in a lot of depth in my my new book white knights and reviling wives

01:07:00.740 because i want to help young men too that are not married to avoid the trap of falling into

01:07:07.320 a marriage that is doomed with a reviling wife so um the most basic the most basic thing i can say

01:07:17.400 is that you have to test this out. The young man has to test out this woman as they're getting to 0.93

01:07:24.940 know each other, as they're dating, as they're going out together. Don't fall for the fact that

01:07:29.840 she says, oh, I want to homeschool my kids, or she wears long dresses, or she, you know,

01:07:37.960 she has a head covering, or she did, you know, she wants to be a stay-at-home mom, etc., etc.

01:07:42.020 Those are all outward external things. And they may mean something. They may mean nothing. They may mean, like you said, it's like, boy, there's devious people that are under the covering of conservatism. You have to test it out. How is she on a date? Is she submissive? Is she following you even on a date?

01:08:03.920 Now, she's not your wife, but is she compliant? Is she argumentative? Is she always having to have her way? Is she contentious even in the dating relationship? Is she fighting over little piddly things that don't really matter at the end of the day? 0.99

01:08:20.880 those are the kinds of things that a young man has to understand and he has to understand he has

01:08:27.560 to look for that quickly because if he gets bitten by a pretty face or pretty figure or even god

01:08:35.860 forbid he sleeps with her it's all over and he's going to fall for her and just be overwhelmed by

01:08:42.000 everything about her and and he'll ignore all the warning signs that were there and he just didn't

01:08:49.140 want to see them every man that I've counseled that has a reviling wife I always press them and

01:08:57.480 say what were the warning signs when you were dating that you missed and a lot of times at

01:09:02.760 first they can't see it but as we talk they go oh yeah this happened that happened she was

01:09:08.440 she was really nasty with me and I just kind of overlooked it oh she's just having a bad day and

01:09:13.540 you know and I'm not saying you just dismiss somebody because they're angry one day but you

01:09:18.320 got to keep testing out to make sure that this is not a character trait this is not an ingrained

01:09:24.520 habitual part of her life so what's the pattern yeah you know you know what's what is she like

01:09:32.360 and what are her parents like too what's her mother like yeah what's her what's her relationship

01:09:38.160 like with her father what's her relationship like with her mother those can tell you a lot again

01:09:44.200 she may have a bad father and a bad mother and she might have turned out really good

01:09:48.540 that's possible but if she's got a a good father and mother and she's nasty towards them we're

01:09:55.260 disrespectful you know respect is a big thing um that's a that's a bad sign so you want to look

01:10:02.240 for that you want to say okay and the other thing too if you're a boomer like me don't look back to

01:10:07.840 well when i dated it was always easy we just picked we just picked this girl and you know

01:10:12.220 just get married quick and have a bunch of kids. Terrible advice. Do not give that advice. Please

01:10:17.760 do not. I'm not saying to get blackpilled. I'm very happily married, but don't go blackpilled

01:10:23.500 on this and say, oh, we can't ever get married because there's all these dangerous women out 1.00

01:10:27.460 there. But you've got to slow the process down and really understand what time it is and what's 0.89

01:10:32.500 going on. So I commend you for asking that question. How do I help my son? How do I help

01:10:38.280 my daughter that's good yep okay this is cameron stevenson right we haven't done that okay this is

01:10:44.380 uh ten dollar super chat we appreciate that cameron thank you he said dr edgington uh could

01:10:49.060 you speak to the irony of the woman who is so willing to submit to the man i.e her corporate

01:10:55.820 boss but refuses to submit to her own man namely her husband's leadership that's that is an

01:11:05.040 incredible irony isn't it that she will submit and do anything that this man tells her to do

01:11:10.280 that's her boss that's in charge whether it's a a government official or just a you know a

01:11:16.060 supervisor at a job but she won't submit to her husband in her home that that is a a great 0.74

01:11:21.440 hypocrisy there that's that's obviously screaming that this problem is there that she'll argue and 0.97

01:11:29.200 fight with her husband about minutiae, but she'll just go along with her boss because if she doesn't, 1.00

01:11:35.460 she's going to get fired. But this is the problem, isn't it? She looks at, I can get away with this

01:11:40.820 in my home because he's not going to fire me. He's not going to divorce me. So I can, I can fight

01:11:45.500 with him and he just has to put up with it. She's showing her true colors when, when that's the case

01:11:51.620 that, um, she thinks she can mistreat her own husband and she does not, would not dare mistreating

01:11:59.180 her employer right okay this is our very very last one so this is from uh j becks uh beckworth

01:12:07.580 he gave us a five dollar super chat we appreciate that he said what are the qualities that a man

01:12:13.400 should be looking for uh in dating in um our unserious and joking uh culture it's hard to

01:12:22.340 know what women truly believe so similar to one of the questions that we received a moment ago but

01:12:27.800 are there any characteristics, any telltale signs that a man who's looking to be married

01:12:33.480 could identify in a woman to try to cut to the heart and find out what she really believes,

01:12:43.860 what her true convictions are? Right. I think that one place to start is Galatians 5. Do you 0.68

01:12:50.980 see the fruit of the Spirit in her life? And of course, you want to see these things in your own

01:12:56.280 life. You don't want to be, you know, a man that's pursuing the right kind of woman, and you're the 0.98

01:13:00.980 wrong kind of guy. You know, remember that if you're a godly man, you should be pursuing a godly

01:13:06.880 woman. If you're an ungodly guy, or kind of not a real serious guy, you're not going to find a

01:13:13.000 godly wife. So, you know, you want to look for those godly traits, those godly characteristics,

01:13:19.180 like Galatians 5, the fruit of the spirits, that you see that she's, you know, the other things

01:13:24.540 would be, is she pure? Is she respectful? Is she career minded? Or is she saying, you know,

01:13:30.940 I don't want a career. I never wanted a career. And again, that's an external. So that's not the

01:13:36.460 whole story, but it's at least part of the story that if she's, you know, if she's going into

01:13:42.140 higher education and she's getting all kinds of degrees and then you want to marry her and expect

01:13:47.520 her to be a stay at home mom and raise your kids, that's really not fair to her, is it? 0.68

01:13:52.660 If she's invested all that time and energy and money into a higher education, and then you want her to just change that just because she's going to marry you, that's probably not going to work out too well. 0.59

01:14:06.800 So there's a lot of issues to talk about in this.

01:14:10.220 It's a good question.

01:14:11.420 I can't give it good service in just a minute or two, but those are kind of the framework of it.

01:14:17.460 You've got to be a godly man, first of all, and then if you're that, now you pursue a woman after God's own heart.

01:14:24.420 Just like you want to be a man after God's own heart, you want to find a woman like that, too.

01:14:29.680 And she doesn't have to be a theological, you know, savant or something, either.

01:14:33.920 She doesn't have to know the finer points of Reformed theology, necessarily.

01:14:38.360 but she does need to have the character and the sweetness and the kindness and the respectfulness

01:14:45.060 and and on all of those things that you want in a wife that's that's crucial because after you

01:14:53.080 marry her it's you know it's too late to find that right well said okay here at the very end

01:15:00.180 uh thank you so much for coming on the show we really appreciate you we appreciate your work

01:15:04.840 appreciate your book. Do two things for us, please. Can you let people know where they can

01:15:08.900 follow you? Maybe your X handle, or if you have a sub stack or a blog or something like that. And

01:15:13.340 then also let people know again, the title of the book and where they can go and purchase a copy if

01:15:17.280 they would like to. Okay. The book again is called White Nights and Reviling Wives, How Feminism

01:15:23.740 Destroys Families. It is only available at New Christendom Press. That's the group in Ogden,

01:15:30.840 Utah. You can follow me on X if you want. To be honest, I'm not even sure what my handle is. I

01:15:37.360 think it's David Edgington. It might be David D. Edgington. You can follow me there. You can find

01:15:43.840 me at CompassionateCounselors.com, and that's where you'll find more information. You'll find

01:15:50.880 information about other books that I've written, too. I've also written another, I'd like to

01:15:55.560 mention this book also, Romancing Your Savior and Your Spouse, and this one is available on

01:16:01.940 Amazon.com because it's the other side of the issue. I don't want anybody to think, boy,

01:16:06.760 David is just a hammer and everything's a nail in his mind. You know, I'm not just out to hammer

01:16:12.900 reviling wives. I'm out to find people that want the God-glorifying marriage about what it means

01:16:21.600 to follow Christ, what it means to love Christ, and then in the parallel sense to love their wives

01:16:28.220 like they love Christ. So this is a beautiful portrayal that is in the Song of Songs that I

01:16:35.720 highlight. I go through every verse in this book on romance about what the Song of Songs is saying,

01:16:41.880 because it's 3,000-year-old Hebrew poetry that, you know, we normally don't think of telling our

01:16:48.360 wives, you know, your hair is like a flock of goats and you're like a, you know, you're like

01:16:52.920 a horse, you're like a mare among stallions. I mean, that doesn't sound real flattering.

01:16:56.700 When you understand Hebrew poetry, you go, oh, that was beautiful. That was amazing. And she was

01:17:02.920 totally captivated by it. So this is what a marriage should look like. So we've talked today 0.92

01:17:09.360 about what a marriage should not be. And sadly, what many of them are. But I also want to present

01:17:14.680 this is what the marriage should be. And this is what you want to desire. So a lot of people I say,

01:17:20.700 you know, read that book before you get married to the listener that that said, you know, what do I

01:17:25.100 do with my young son or young daughter? I've had people that have read this book together while

01:17:30.280 they're dating and said, man, this really helped to get clarity on a lot of issues that we're just

01:17:36.240 not hearing about. Great. So those can find me, email me, call me, probably texting me would be

01:17:43.640 better because my phone rings off the hook all day so but you can find all that information on

01:17:48.800 my website compassionatecounselors.com and i also have an online men's support group it's called

01:17:56.040 resurgent warriors and great guys in this group these are men that have been through this war

01:18:04.020 that we're talking about and they've come out on the other side and their resurgence they're

01:18:09.500 They're growing. They're rising. Sanctification is our goal in that group, and we help each other,

01:18:15.140 and we really minister God's Word to each other. It's not a woman-bashing group. It's not just,

01:18:22.400 oh, we're just going to say how bad women are. It's like, no, we're helping to restore men to

01:18:27.300 the way God intended them to be, and contact me if you're interested in that as well, because I know

01:18:33.780 there's a lot of you guys out there that you've got nobody to talk to, and unfortunately, I can't

01:18:39.240 talk to you all i'm trying but i can't get to all of you so if you come into my group

01:18:44.580 i've got a bunch of other got dozens of other guys that will be glad to help you in there

01:18:50.720 awesome well thank you again so much we appreciate you coming on the show it's been a blessing to us

01:18:56.780 and i'm sure to um our audience as well and for those of you who are listening again we're going

01:19:01.800 to be speaking about arranged marriages this wednesday uh we will be broadcasting live both

01:19:07.700 on YouTube and on X at 3 p.m. Central Time this Wednesday. Please go ahead and remember to

01:19:14.100 subscribe on YouTube and click the bell. Same thing, follow us on X at RightResponseM as in

01:19:19.420 ministries. Make sure to follow us on X and click the bell there as well. Again, that's 3 p.m. Central

01:19:24.760 Time this Wednesday, talking about arranged marriages. If you're new to the channel,

01:19:28.820 we broadcast live three times a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 3 p.m. Central Time.

01:19:33.620 Our next show will be Wednesday at 3 p.m.

01:19:36.100 And then we're going to go ahead and take a break for Friday this week

01:19:39.860 so that we and you can celebrate with your families Thanksgiving.

01:19:43.860 If you're not an American and you're like, Thanksgiving, why is that a big deal?

01:19:49.460 Well, it's a big deal because we're American and it matters.

01:19:51.980 So for all our listeners outside of America, tough luck.

01:19:56.220 You're always welcome to go back.

01:19:58.020 Have fun going to work.

01:19:58.640 Yeah, have fun going to work.

01:20:00.280 But you're always willing to go back in the vault and find an old episode.

01:20:03.300 but for us and for our American brothers and sisters,

01:20:07.140 we're going to take Friday off because we are American

01:20:11.660 and that's what we're going to do.

01:20:12.740 So we'll see you guys on Wednesday

01:20:14.280 and then we won't see you again until the month of December.

01:20:17.500 It'll be December 1st and we have some pretty big announcements.

01:20:20.940 We're going to start kind of priming the pump

01:20:22.960 and letting you guys know some of the vision and things

01:20:24.980 that are coming up in the new year.

01:20:26.920 We'll start talking about some of those things in December.

01:20:29.160 We're really excited.

01:20:30.520 I hope you've been blessed by this episode

01:20:32.000 and we will see you again soon god bless and godspeed hey friends gray toad tallow is a family

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01:22:02.180 The danger of centralized power is often represented by the word king. As Americans,

01:22:08.240 we hate the word king. Civilian ownership of body armor is about helping people to have

01:22:14.940 increased power to resist tyrants and criminals. And so Armored Republic is about helping you

01:22:22.240 to preserve your God-given rights

01:22:23.880 to the honor of the Lord Jesus Christ

01:22:25.800 because He is the King of kings

01:22:27.780 and He governs kings and He will judge them.

01:22:31.500 This is armored republic

01:22:32.740 and in a republic, 0.68

01:22:34.960 there is no king but Christ.

01:22:37.480 We are free craftsmen

01:22:38.840 and we are honored to be your armorsmith choice.

01:22:52.240 Thank you.

The NXR Podcast - November 24, 2025

THE LIVESTREAM - White Knights & Reviling Wives w⧸Dr. David Edgington

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