The NXR Podcast - THE SERMON - What Does The Bible Say About Divorce？ – Part 1

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00:00:41.940 For the reading of God's word, we're continuing our series of the gospel according to Matthew.

00:00:46.740 We have one gospel, not four, but we have this one gospel according to four different men inspired by the Holy Spirit, Matthew being one of them.

00:00:54.560 our text today is Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 and 32 we only have two verses but they deal with the

00:01:02.640 subject matter of divorce and so that's going to cause us to have to cross-reference to many other

00:01:08.940 biblical texts as well in order to have a thorough robust and well-rounded teaching on that subject

00:01:14.400 which is very relevant for our day a day that is filled with rampant divorce and so because of that

00:01:20.660 even though it's only two verses in our primary text with cross-referencing and dealing with other

00:01:25.240 verses that deal with the subject matter of divorce, we likely, just to warn you guys ahead

00:01:30.860 of time, we'll probably be on this subject and dealing with this text, Matthew chapter 5 verses

00:01:35.800 31 through 32, for at least two weeks, perhaps even three. That said, we could, my wife could

00:01:44.200 go into labor at any moment and with Franklin I remember she went into labor here at church

00:01:50.940 which was perfect I didn't miss a single Sunday because I got to finish preaching and Franklin

00:01:57.380 was you know from the womb very respectful of the priest word so he waited and then that gave us

00:02:03.440 enough time for me to be there the following Sunday but it's likely that that won't happen

00:02:07.700 again and so Connor is prepared to preach outside of our series through the gospel according to

00:02:12.460 Matthew so it may be that we're out next week if if our fifth child decides to come so in that case

00:02:20.460 Connor would preach something outside of this text and then I would come back and do a part two

00:02:25.140 two weeks from now but either way maybe a little bit of a one week intermission from Connor but

00:02:32.300 either way probably two or three weeks knowing myself there's always a strong possibility of

00:02:39.240 fourth week on this on this particular text okay Matthew chapter 5 verses 31 through 32 I'll read

00:02:46.820 the text in its entirety when I finish reading the text I'm going to say this is the word of

00:02:50.220 the Lord at which point I would appreciate very much if you would respond by saying thanks be to

00:02:54.240 God here we are the Bible says this it was also said whoever divorces his wife let him give her 0.78

00:03:02.120 a certificate of divorce but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except on the

00:03:08.660 ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman

00:03:14.060 commits adultery. This is the word of the Lord. All right, please be seated. We'll go ahead and dive in.

00:03:25.720 I debated how to begin this particular text,

00:03:30.040 but I'm going to begin with just a couple of statistics for our time and our place

00:03:37.400 in these united states in the year of our lord 2024 just to give us a little bit of the lay of

00:03:43.780 the land when it comes to divorce at this point about half of all marriages end in divorce

00:03:49.560 about half of all marriages end in divorce and when it comes to divorces those marriages which

00:03:56.740 do in fact end a divorce 70 of all divorces are initiated by the wife by women in the cases of

00:04:04.400 marriages between a man and a woman who has gone to college college educated woman those marriages

00:04:10.240 that end in divorce where the wife has gone to college 90 of those divorces are initiated by

00:04:16.860 the wife the woman and it's worth noting because if by God's grace we seek to apply the scriptures

00:04:25.860 in such a way that we might if God is gracious be able to provide a solution to the problem we

00:04:31.740 first need to admit what the problem is in its detail and not just ignoring the problem or

00:04:39.400 pretending as though there's a different problem from the one that we actually have.

00:04:44.560 It is very popular in the evangelical church today to constantly and consistently berate men.

00:04:52.820 men are absolutely sinners and as such men must be rebuked for their sin without apology

00:05:04.820 and in the cases where both men and women are sinning equally the man should be rebuked I

00:05:13.860 believe stronger in part because of the way that he was made in his disposition given to him by the

00:05:19.840 Lord, and also because he carries a greater weight of responsibility. Both parties, men and women,

00:05:27.460 are guilty of sin when they do, in fact, commit sin. But the man, in addition to blame,

00:05:34.220 addition to guilt, is also chiefly responsible. A man, because of the position that God has

00:05:42.540 given to him as a head of his wife, head in the home, male pastors, head in an ecclesiastical 0.54

00:05:50.760 sense over the church. Those men who are appointed to the civil magistrate and all these fears,

00:05:56.540 the home, the church, and the state, men carry responsibility. And because they carry the chief

00:06:02.900 portion of responsibility, they don't carry more blame for the sin, but they do carry more

00:06:08.700 responsibility both men and women are blameworthy when both men and women commit sin but men also

00:06:15.360 carry in addition to blame the predominant portion of responsibility for all those reasons men must

00:06:21.780 be rebuked when they sin and as the scripture addresses men men should be addressed without

00:06:27.240 apology however what the evangelical church has failed to do for decades now is address the sins

00:06:33.260 of women. And because of this, I think it raises an important question. And just for 0.65

00:06:40.440 the record, I don't do these things to get a rise. I really don't. I do these things

00:06:45.300 because it's what everyone is thinking and someone needs to say it out loud. We need

00:06:50.120 clarity. Here's the thing. There's a difference between being antagonistic and unnecessarily

00:07:00.540 controversial, in order to raise a ruckus. I don't think you need that by today's standards.

00:07:09.820 Today, if you want the entire world to be enraged, you don't need brash, ridiculous statements. All 0.98

00:07:19.420 you need are clear statements. That's all it really takes. What we call charity today, well, I appreciate

00:07:26.860 that pastor because he has a charitable tone what you mean is he has an ambiguous tone

00:07:31.760 he has a vague tone he has an unclear tone his tone is loving and charitable no his tone is

00:07:42.700 unclear it's not even his tone it's actually the substance of the arguments that he's making he

00:07:47.660 makes them in such a way to where the argument isn't actually made not fully made not in the

00:07:52.960 way that it should be and because of that people miss his point and by missing his point they miss

00:07:58.800 the opportunity to be offended and so the goal is not offense but the goal is clarity and the goal

00:08:06.700 must be clarity because the goal the overarching sense is faithfulness to the word of God and the

00:08:13.340 word of God is not ambiguous that denies one of the chief views of the scripture you have inerrancy

00:08:20.660 first, the authority of God's Word, the infallibility of God's Word, but then you also have the

00:08:25.800 perspicuity. That's another important view that the Christian church has held for 2,000 years

00:08:31.100 of Scripture. And the perspicuity of Scripture, that word perspicuity, is just a really unclear

00:08:36.920 word that means clear. So the inerrancy of Scripture, its infallibility, its perfection,

00:08:44.040 and its authority, but then also the perspicuity of Scripture, which means the clarity of Scripture.

00:08:49.120 The church has taught for 2,000 years that the Bible is not a book of riddles.

00:08:55.520 It's not.

00:08:57.340 The Bible is clear.

00:08:59.920 And to say that the Bible is not clear is a subtle, and in many cases not so subtle,

00:09:04.700 way of actually accusing and indicting the author of Scripture, namely God himself.

00:09:10.180 It is ultimately to accuse God of having failed.

00:09:13.360 that God has created a no-win scenario

00:09:16.600 where he has morally bound people

00:09:19.420 to obey commandments

00:09:21.860 where he has failed to provide the clarity

00:09:25.480 of what these commandments actually expect.

00:09:28.580 It is to say that God, who in his own word

00:09:31.480 commands us as human fathers

00:09:33.180 not to exasperate our sons,

00:09:35.260 it is to accuse God as the heavenly father

00:09:37.560 of doing precisely that,

00:09:40.000 exasperating his spiritual sons.

00:09:43.360 But God doesn't put any standard on us that he himself does not first perfectly uphold.

00:09:50.780 God commands us as human fathers not to exasperate our sons because God is a good and perfect heavenly father,

00:09:57.380 never exasperates his people.

00:09:59.700 God has spoken in his word and he has spoken perfectly without error.

00:10:04.080 He has spoken authoritatively and he has also spoken clearly.

00:10:08.480 and all it takes in the year of our Lord 2024 with the current political and cultural and spiritual

00:10:15.740 climate to offend approximately you know this is strictly hypothetical I would never use a real

00:10:22.080 example but let's say you know five million people just last week all it takes to do that

00:10:27.920 is not outrageous statements but clear statements so here's a clear statement

00:10:37.760 And I'll pose it, preface it first with a question. 0.95

00:10:42.440 Are women more sinful than men? 0.98

00:10:45.340 Yes and no. 0.90

00:10:48.280 Now let me flesh it out theologically.

00:10:51.040 Yes and no.

00:10:52.980 Starting with the no.

00:10:55.160 Inwardly, at the level of the heart, 0.69

00:10:58.060 all mankind, both male and female,

00:11:00.880 because of the curse of sin,

00:11:03.060 have been born into this world with a sin nature, and the Bible teaches the doctrine of original sin

00:11:10.860 that is total depravity, and that affects both men and women alike. So inwardly, at the level of the

00:11:19.520 heart, the level of intent and desire, right? That's where sin begins. James, we looked at that last

00:11:26.140 week, James chapter 1, right? Why do you have factions and divisions and all these things? Is it

00:11:30.840 not because of your evil desires within you.

00:11:33.600 So sin begins as a desire.

00:11:37.100 And then desire conceives sin at the level of action.

00:11:40.720 And then sin at the level of action behavior,

00:11:43.340 if gone unchecked without accountability and repentance,

00:11:46.300 eventually brings forth death.

00:11:48.220 Desire, that's the doctrine of concupiscence,

00:11:52.020 that you can actually sin without it ever reaching the realm of speech,

00:11:56.320 words, or actions, deeds,

00:11:58.460 But just at the level of intent and motive and desire, you can desire wicked things, desire corrupt things, desire things that God says are evil, and that desire in and of itself, even if you never speak it out loud, and even if you never take advantage of it in terms of your actions, the desire for wickedness in and of itself at the inward level is in fact a sin.

00:12:22.920 That's the doctrine of concupiscence.

00:12:24.760 as that applies to for instance homosexuality there's been a large debate in the church over

00:12:31.920 the last 20 years or so as many people in the church have compromised and they said you know

00:12:36.740 what as long as you don't act on the desires then you haven't sinned that is theologically wrong

00:12:43.780 that's theologically wrong you you can't and and here's the thing it's also here's one of the ways

00:12:50.840 easy ways to find out if something's theologically wrong is to find out if if theologians modern

00:12:57.520 liberal theologians and pastors apply it inconsistently so for the pastor who says you

00:13:03.900 know you can desire you can have homosexual desires which god calls an abomination it's it's

00:13:10.020 it's disgusting an article actually just recently was circulating going viral on x that said that 0.85

00:13:17.380 the average heterosexual man, his reaction, if he sees two men, PDA, some kind of PDA in a public

00:13:26.640 setting, his reaction is, they've studied this and said it's equivalent to his reaction of seeing 0.88

00:13:32.680 maggots. And I would like to defend all heterosexual men and say, we'd much rather see maggots.

00:13:41.820 um don't don't flatter yourself the maggots the maggots are are okay we can stomach that 0.92

00:13:50.120 um but the point is there is a a gut level reflex and that's actually good that's actually good and

00:14:03.740 right because you're seeing something that god hates you're seeing something that god calls

00:14:08.240 an abomination. And so to desire that, even if you never act on it, but simply to say in your

00:14:15.520 heart of hearts, I want that. I'm thinking about that. I'm desiring that. The church has taught

00:14:22.620 always that that's a sin. Now, let me show you the inconsistency. Let's apply it somewhere else.

00:14:28.080 Right? So that would be a sexual sin, sexual perversion. Let's apply it to murder. 0.95

00:14:33.660 Right? We just preached on this. This is the whole problem with the Pharisees. I told you again and

00:14:37.720 again it's not merely that they were legalistic they were legalistic in one sense adding the

00:14:42.440 traditions of men to the law of god but they were in some sense even more than legalistic they were

00:14:50.580 antinomian that is they were actually against the law because although they would add extra laws

00:14:56.500 the traditions of men they would take the true immutable law of god and they would narrow it

00:15:02.400 substantially in terms of its relevancy and application how would they do this well for

00:15:08.960 instance in the sixth commandment what they would say is that you are obedient to the sixth commandment

00:15:15.120 as long as you don't physically literally outwardly murder your neighbor thou shall not murder as long

00:15:21.860 as you don't commit the action of murder you're fine well jesus then takes the sixth commandment

00:15:29.180 and shows the hypocrisy of the Pharisees and Sadducees,

00:15:32.200 these religious rulers of his day,

00:15:34.100 and saying that they had truncated the application of the commandment

00:15:37.640 by saying, essentially, that it was perfectly permissible,

00:15:41.120 morally permissible, to have a murderous heart.

00:15:45.020 They were saying that you could desire to murder,

00:15:48.760 you could hate your brother and your heart,

00:15:51.020 but as long as you didn't carry it out in a literal, physical sense,

00:15:54.520 then you were fine.

00:15:55.620 And what's Jesus' big point?

00:15:56.900 his big point is wrong no you're not liable to temporal consequences judicial consequences of

00:16:07.900 the civil magistrate you have not committed a crime if you have not literally physically

00:16:12.320 outwardly murdered your brother but you have committed a sin not a crime but a sin and

00:16:18.840 therefore you're liable exactly what jesus says to what not the civil magistrate but to 0.99

00:16:24.180 the fires of hell, for calling your brother, you fool, in a spirit of anger at the level of the 0.99

00:16:32.600 heart. So desire actually is, when it's a desire for a wicked thing, it actually is a wicked desire. 1.00

00:16:40.380 And even at the level of desire, it is a sin. So if someone says, well, I'm not going to physically

00:16:47.380 harm this person or this group of people but in my heart of hearts i wish them harm

00:16:53.520 i i i wish that they you know something terrible would happen to them then that would be wrong

00:17:01.300 that would be murder at the level of the heart which is a sin without committing murder at the

00:17:08.700 level of action which would be a sin and a crime and the same thing when it comes to sexual

00:17:14.340 immorality. I desire this wicked, corrupt, disgusting, abominable thing at the level of 0.99

00:17:20.140 the heart, but I won't carry it out in terms of my behaviors. That's a sin. And if you were to 0.95

00:17:26.340 carry that out, according to biblical law, the law that we used to have in these United States,

00:17:31.820 not that long ago, even in a civil judicial capacity, that actually would have been treated

00:17:37.680 as a crime. There was a time in the United States where adultery was treated as a crime. 0.97

00:17:42.220 sodomy was treated as a crime not merely a sin but a crime so back to men and women at the level

00:17:49.700 of the heart at the level of the heart because of original sin the curse of sin and how it has

00:17:55.520 affected all mankind both male and female all people are born into this world totally depraved

00:18:02.740 now here's the you know pretty simple simple conclusion from the doctrine of total depravity

00:18:10.040 if it's total there's your key word right there that's your your context clue if it's total

00:18:17.200 depravity then there are no degrees of that depravity how much depravity well there's there's

00:18:25.180 lots of depravity and then lesser depravity no total depravity and both men and women are

00:18:31.020 totally depraved so at the level of the heart inwardly which one is more sinful neither it's

00:18:36.780 equal. They're both totally depraved. You can't get more. You can't get less. It's total, right? 0.98

00:18:44.260 I understand there is a hypothetical doctrine of utter depravity. Utter depravity would be the total

00:18:49.820 depravity at the inward level, the level of the heart, without any restraint at the outward level

00:18:54.820 in terms of words and deeds. But in God's restraining common grace, which affects all people,

00:19:00.860 not just his people, the church,

00:19:02.920 but all people in God's common restraining grace.

00:19:07.260 All people are totally depraved inwardly,

00:19:10.020 apart from saving grace,

00:19:11.360 which is found in Christ Jesus alone.

00:19:13.720 All people are totally depraved inwardly

00:19:16.140 and no people are utterly depraved outwardly.

00:19:19.880 No people.

00:19:21.240 Meaning that the worst villain

00:19:22.720 that you could possibly think of

00:19:24.400 could have done more evil outwardly.

00:19:28.600 Could have done more evil outwardly.

00:19:30.860 And the fact that he or she didn't,

00:19:34.200 I think of Mao, for the record.

00:19:37.520 Fascists have killed their millions,

00:19:39.100 and communists their tens of millions.

00:19:41.300 In the case of Mao, a hundred million.

00:19:44.780 But even in the case of Mao,

00:19:46.400 it could have been more.

00:19:48.500 Could have been more.

00:19:50.860 So, inward level, men and women, 0.68

00:19:53.600 which one's worse? Neither.

00:19:55.400 Both men and women are totally depraved. 0.98

00:19:57.680 Equal, in terms of sin, inwardly. 0.98

00:20:01.600 That's a timeless truth.

00:20:03.880 Until Christ returns,

00:20:05.640 the final physical return of Christ,

00:20:07.340 that is the theological reality

00:20:08.740 as it pertains to the heart inwardly,

00:20:11.220 the doctrine of original sin and total depravity.

00:20:14.440 However, here's a timely truth now,

00:20:16.680 not timeless, but timely.

00:20:18.040 So this is not something that I would prescribe

00:20:20.260 as an immutable truth

00:20:23.500 for all of time in all places.

00:20:27.220 I am prescribing it for this time.

00:20:31.720 The sons of Issachar, they knew the times.

00:20:34.740 We should know the times.

00:20:36.280 I am prescribing this as true for this time and this place.

00:20:41.260 Is it true of all places? 0.83

00:20:43.040 Is it true of Uganda?

00:20:44.140 I don't know.

00:20:45.520 I'm inclined to think not.

00:20:46.820 But is it true of the United States,

00:20:50.940 which is saturated in feminism at this time in 2024?

00:20:56.600 the year of our Lord? 0.56

00:20:57.560 I think so.

00:20:58.620 Here's the truth.

00:21:00.220 I think it's true.

00:21:01.340 I could be wrong,

00:21:02.500 but I'm not.

00:21:05.060 Here's what I think is true.

00:21:07.000 Men and women, 0.96

00:21:07.700 inwardly,

00:21:08.380 equal, 0.95

00:21:08.820 totally depraved, 0.94

00:21:09.780 equally sinful. 0.98

00:21:10.900 Outwardly,

00:21:11.980 at that level,

00:21:12.720 the level of speech,

00:21:14.000 words,

00:21:14.400 and deeds, 1.00

00:21:15.120 I do believe that women 1.00

00:21:16.500 are more sinful 1.00

00:21:17.680 in general.

00:21:19.520 Now we're speaking of generalities.

00:21:21.740 This would be the same

00:21:22.640 as looking at certain statistics,

00:21:24.640 crime statistics

00:21:25.440 in our nation.

00:21:26.600 You can look at certain statistics in terms of ethnicity.

00:21:30.880 This is just a fact.

00:21:33.260 You can say, well, this particular ethnicity 1.00

00:21:35.760 seems to commit certain criminal behaviors 1.00

00:21:38.920 more than this other ethnicity. 1.00

00:21:41.600 And that's just a reality.

00:21:43.760 And then, as Christians who love all people,

00:21:47.220 then you have to think about why.

00:21:49.260 How can we fix this?

00:21:50.440 How does the gospel apply?

00:21:52.020 How does the law of God apply?

00:21:53.860 How should we construct civil society,

00:21:55.760 these kinds of things to help people who are being victimized

00:21:59.540 and also help those who are committing crimes.

00:22:03.580 You can have a loving, biblical conversation about that.

00:22:06.640 What you can't do is pretend that it doesn't exist.

00:22:09.620 It does exist.

00:22:10.580 There are disparities in terms of ethnicity,

00:22:13.960 in terms of certain crimes. 0.80

00:22:16.560 That's a fact.

00:22:20.460 Likewise, there are disparities on the books, statistics,

00:22:25.260 like I began the sermon with

00:22:27.060 when it comes to divorce

00:22:28.820 between men and women.

00:22:31.620 Seventy percent of all divorces

00:22:33.540 are initiated by women. 0.78

00:22:35.980 And if, in the case of those marriages

00:22:38.500 that end in divorce

00:22:40.520 where the wife had a college degree, 1.00

00:22:44.560 it is 90% of those divorces 0.98

00:22:47.040 which are initiated by women. 1.00

00:22:51.160 Apply this principle that I'm espousing 0.62

00:22:53.600 in a home for a moment at a microcosm, a micro level. I have four children, a fifth on the way,

00:23:00.400 technically six children, one in glory. Four children, a fifth on the way. If I, in a sinful

00:23:07.380 fashion, deliberately chose to teach and instruct and encourage and admonish and biblically discipline

00:23:16.100 four of my five children

00:23:18.840 over the course of the next 20 years,

00:23:22.540 give or take.

00:23:24.420 But one of the children

00:23:25.640 I neglected to discipline.

00:23:28.220 Intentionally.

00:23:29.260 No discipline at all.

00:23:31.200 And very little instruction.

00:23:33.540 Very little encouragement.

00:23:35.900 What would happen?

00:23:37.960 Would that child,

00:23:39.040 the neglected child,

00:23:40.920 have a higher propensity?

00:23:44.260 There can be exceptions,

00:23:45.440 maybe by God's grace, he gets a hold of that child's heart, regenerates them at a young age

00:23:50.080 by the power of the Spirit, and supernaturally does a work in their life to where although they

00:23:54.480 were neglected, they end up becoming a wonderful Christian person. Of course, that's possible.

00:24:00.720 Again, that's why I did the statistics about crime, ethnicity. Now we're doing at the level of gender, 0.84

00:24:08.500 male and female, group dynamics. Speaking about group dynamics in general, every woman 0.85

00:24:15.420 each and every individual woman

00:24:17.460 is not more sinful outwardly

00:24:19.620 than every individual man.

00:24:22.340 It's the same thing if we were talking about

00:24:23.660 physical strength. 1.00

00:24:25.160 I know one woman who can bench press. 1.00

00:24:27.460 Great. 1.00

00:24:29.020 Great. 1.00

00:24:31.200 In my personal opinion, the women 1.00

00:24:33.500 whose physical strength impresses me most 1.00

00:24:35.720 is usually when it comes to biceps. 1.00

00:24:38.600 Some of these women in our church, 1.00

00:24:40.140 look at them. 1.00

00:24:40.940 They have been holding lots of babies.

00:24:43.100 right seriously some of these women it's like okay look he's he's four okay you can he he can

00:24:49.560 walk you know right but in terms of you know i found one woman who can bench press you know x

00:24:56.900 amount and i found one man you know who's a quadriplegic you know and so then you're

00:25:00.960 i'm not making that argument i'm speaking about group dynamics generalities in general can we

00:25:08.320 agree in general that men are physically stronger than women of course that's what we're talking

00:25:14.220 about likewise in terms of sin not told depravity level the heart which is equal we've already

00:25:21.200 established that but outwardly in terms of actions in terms of actions i believe that in the west

00:25:28.640 this isn't true of all times and it's also not true of all cultures and all places but in our

00:25:34.300 place and in our time the west today the west today outwardly speaking in general not each 0.57

00:25:44.040 and every individual i believe that women are more sinful than men outwardly here now in general

00:25:53.420 why because back to the illustration i just gave of one household with parenting 0.69

00:26:00.000 if you have five children and one of them you utterly neglect god could supernaturally get a

00:26:06.900 hold of their heart but if you pan that experiment out across the board not just with one household

00:26:12.800 but every household in the whole nation and every parent is having five children and every parent

00:26:19.520 is neglecting one and then instructing and loving and disciplining for those ones from each household

00:26:27.540 on the whole in general

00:26:29.360 will undoubtedly in terms of their outward behavior

00:26:33.980 behave more sinfully than the four.

00:26:38.500 Of course.

00:26:41.140 And brothers and sisters, I submit to you

00:26:43.140 for your prayerful consideration

00:26:45.520 the possibility that for the last 60

00:26:49.200 and arguably even up to 130 years

00:26:52.500 in this country

00:26:53.620 with not five children in one household,

00:26:58.000 but two genders in one nation, 1.00

00:27:00.340 we have chastised one 0.99

00:27:02.760 and utterly empowered

00:27:06.180 and affirmed the sin

00:27:10.380 with zero correction,

00:27:13.300 zero admonishment,

00:27:15.380 zero instruction with the other.

00:27:19.200 And to think that that would not have

00:27:21.660 at a large scale

00:27:23.500 in generalities, in a general sense,

00:27:26.600 at a large scale,

00:27:28.000 an outward behavioral effect

00:27:31.240 is ultimately to assume

00:27:34.720 this is what you're doing.

00:27:36.440 You're essentially saying

00:27:37.860 that preaching,

00:27:41.000 correction,

00:27:43.900 admonishment, instruction,

00:27:45.980 that all of these things

00:27:47.200 are ultimately a waste of time

00:27:49.000 and completely impotent.

00:27:51.400 They don't make a difference.

00:27:53.500 And so because I actually believe that for myself at a personal level that my vocation actually matters, I would like to think that maybe I'm biased, but I would like to think that I haven't been wasting my life that that, you know, standing behind a pulpit and preaching the word of God to people on the Lord's day, that that actually has some kind of effect.

00:28:13.840 because, you know, I'm a crazy person who believes things like that. I believe that, you know, when we

00:28:18.580 share the gospel with people, when we disciple people, when we tell them and teach them about

00:28:24.600 God's commandments and his law and the importance of obedience, whether you do that as a pastor

00:28:28.880 formally on the Lord's Day or as Christians in your daily life or parenting with your children,

00:28:32.960 because I actually believe that these means of grace are not impotent, that they actually have,

00:28:38.220 they're efficacious. They have an effect. They make a difference because I'm not a pietist.

00:28:45.440 Because I'm not accusing God as delivering to the church impotent means of grace, but rather giving

00:28:52.220 to us efficacious and powerful means of grace. Because I believe those things and I assume those

00:28:58.860 things as true, that's my starting basis. And then I look culturally for decades at the utter

00:29:07.640 neglect of using these things with women 0.96

00:29:11.340 and I think an argument can be made, the

00:29:15.520 exasperation and overuse to the level of abuse towards men

00:29:19.540 then at that point 0.98

00:29:23.180 you just gotta believe your lying eyes and say

00:29:27.660 yeah, I think that outwardly 0.85

00:29:31.560 in terms of behavior

00:29:33.400 in a general sense

00:29:37.640 in our country, not everywhere

00:29:40.120 and in our time, not timeless

00:29:42.460 we've created a monster

00:29:46.420 we've created a monster

00:29:48.500 and it's not Frankenstein 0.70

00:29:52.260 it's Frankensteena 0.90

00:29:54.620 it's a she 1.00

00:29:58.260 she's a man eater 1.00

00:30:01.520 that's what we've created 1.00

00:30:06.220 I don't think that about all women 0.98

00:30:09.580 but I do think that about women in general

00:30:14.100 today and here 1.00

00:30:16.460 so that's giving a little bit of the lay of the land

00:30:21.680 some of the context and the relevance for our text

00:30:24.440 it's going to be applied to men

00:30:26.700 because even if that is the lay of the land

00:30:29.260 men still carry before God a chief responsibility.

00:30:34.160 And I'm also going to address it to men

00:30:36.900 because despite what many people in our culture say

00:30:39.940 and sadly many pastors in the church say,

00:30:42.960 women have moral agency.

00:30:46.320 That's the irony.

00:30:48.000 The irony is that all the guys who are praised

00:30:50.880 as being defenders of women and not demeaning women

00:30:54.560 are the same guys, as I said last week,

00:30:57.360 who say that, you know, women can't be held responsible for their actions. 0.88

00:31:03.000 Women can't be considered as having moral agency. 0.97

00:31:07.500 You can't possibly, possibly hold a woman accountable for having an abortion. 1.00

00:31:12.600 Why? 1.00

00:31:14.000 Because she's too stupid. 1.00

00:31:17.080 She can't possibly, you can't expect a woman to know 1.00

00:31:19.880 that what's inside of her womb is a human being. 0.99

00:31:22.280 and so on the basis of her lacking intelligence will absolve her of any moral culpability

00:31:31.200 that is the christian argument you know that right that is russell moore's argument

00:31:36.960 that is brent leatherwood leatherwood the head of the erlc ethics and religious commission for

00:31:45.340 the sbc the southern baptist convention that is his position his position is that we can't

00:31:51.840 ultimately hold women responsible you can hold the abortion doctors responsible and we're really

00:31:57.360 going to hold them responsible we're going to give them um a strong slap on the wrist we might 0.74

00:32:03.680 even give to them a strongly worded letter and they might even have a fine that you know

00:32:09.360 if they get enough of them it it might it might eat away at like two or three percent of their 0.71

00:32:15.400 prophets we'll do that with the abortion doctor nothing for the women and the argument when you 0.69

00:32:22.480 really break it down for why why right it's the whole second victim narrative have you heard of

00:32:27.860 that when it comes to the topic of abortion right the baby is a victim right there's always that

00:32:32.560 victim the one that is chopped into pieces and taken out with a vacuum cleaner that that one

00:32:37.600 i guess we'll consider that a victim but then there's the real victim the second victim oh

00:32:43.640 who's that? Well, the woman who made the decision to do it in the first place. Wait, wait, what? 0.99

00:32:50.600 How is she a victim? What is she a victim of? Well, she's a victim of a supreme lack of intelligence.

00:33:02.260 She's too dumb to realize that what she's done is morally wrong. So here I am standing in full 1.00

00:33:11.540 defense of women. I love women. I think highly of them. So highly that I think that when a woman 0.99

00:33:19.160 commits murder, she knows exactly what she's doing. And therefore, she should face whatever 1.00

00:33:24.720 penalty the Bible prescribes as being righteous and just, just like a man should face. And in the 0.76

00:33:29.940 case of abortion, any man who is involved in coercing that decision, whether it be a boyfriend

00:33:34.660 or a husband or a father or a brother, he should also face the very same penalty.

00:33:39.100 okay there's our cultural lay of the land again the text it was also said whoever divorces his

00:33:48.900 wife let him give her a certificate of divorce but i say to you that everyone who divorces his

00:33:55.740 wife except on the ground of sexual immorality makes her commit adultery and whoever marries

00:34:01.560 a divorced woman commits adultery brothers and sisters right here still from the outset believe

00:34:07.580 it or not shocking i know we're in the outset oh my goodness um again see what i said earlier we're

00:34:14.440 going to make this a multiple parter i'll stop at some point i'll do my best not to exasperate

00:34:20.580 everyone okay that said we cannot simply decry the sins of our culture the sins of our day 0.98

00:34:28.600 with the LGBT, LMNOP, Alphabet Mafia 0.99

00:34:32.740 and not also recognize 0.95

00:34:36.640 that part of the reason why we have those sins

00:34:40.800 present today in spades

00:34:43.580 is because as a foundation for those sins

00:34:47.320 we are an adulterous generation.

00:34:52.980 Adultery is an epidemic in our country. 0.99

00:34:58.600 Our nation is a nation of adulterers, and the evangelical church is a church of adulterers. 0.99

00:35:10.720 There's no escaping that. 0.89

00:35:14.420 Divorce is prevalent, and often it is divorce, not always by God's grace, but often it is divorce that does not meet the biblical standard.

00:35:26.000 It is a divorce without biblical cause.

00:35:30.200 And whenever there's a divorce without biblical cause,

00:35:32.920 then according to Jesus,

00:35:35.400 anyone who then enters back into another marriage

00:35:39.880 has committed adultery.

00:35:43.540 If you got divorced without biblical cause,

00:35:46.880 entering into a new marriage is committing adultery.

00:35:51.600 Now, a little later,

00:35:52.660 I'm going to provide some disclaimers for that.

00:35:56.000 I'll give you just a preview briefly right now.

00:35:58.780 There's a difference between being in a continual ongoing state of sin,

00:36:05.180 a continual ongoing state of adultery,

00:36:08.880 versus the singular act, a one-time act of committing adultery.

00:36:16.220 And according to Scripture and the words of Christ in our text and other texts like it,

00:36:20.920 what Jesus says later in Matthew chapter 19, verses 3 through 9,

00:36:24.580 for that spouse who secures for themselves a divorce apart from biblical cause.

00:36:33.080 There are two causes that we'll get to, adultery and abandonment. 0.79

00:36:38.820 Adultery and abandonment.

00:36:40.660 If there's not adultery or abandonment, and yet there's still divorce,

00:36:46.880 the choice to divorce without having been abandoned

00:36:50.860 and without your spouse having committed adultery.

00:36:54.000 and yet you are the one who's choosing to divorce them.

00:36:57.420 They didn't abandon you

00:36:58.560 and they did not commit adultery.

00:37:01.520 Then in that case, you don't have biblical cause.

00:37:04.420 You have divorced sinfully

00:37:06.100 and then for you to go and enter into another marriage 0.57

00:37:09.280 and anyone who chooses to enter into that marriage with you

00:37:13.860 commits adultery.

00:37:15.880 However, that's what Jesus says.

00:37:18.180 However, what Jesus does not say

00:37:20.120 is that you and your new spouse in your new marriage

00:37:23.500 are forever in an indefinite sense, ongoing sense, in a state of continual adultery.

00:37:31.040 If that were the case, then the only biblical solution for a situation like that would be to

00:37:37.500 prescribe a second divorce. You need to now divorce your new spouse because you're in an

00:37:43.300 ongoing continual state of committing adultery again and again and again. So you've got to get 0.97

00:37:47.560 out of this but according to scripture two wrongs don't make a right so the prescription is not if

00:37:56.760 you got unlawfully unbiblically divorced and then entered into another marriage you now need to get

00:38:03.940 another divorce out of that second marriage and then remain single or go back to the first marriage

00:38:09.540 that's not what the bible teaches instead what the bible would teach is if you send in the past

00:38:15.620 the prescription moving forward is simply to strive to be righteous in the future

00:38:21.180 if you sinned in the past you got a divorce for unbiblical cause and entered into another marriage

00:38:28.140 well you shouldn't have done that and that was a sin but you are not in sin that was a sin but you

00:38:37.300 are not in sin and so what do you do now well what you do now is you seek to honor christ

00:38:42.620 in your new marriage

00:38:45.000 to the best of your ability.

00:38:46.860 However, I'll add one extra thing

00:38:48.740 that you should do

00:38:49.380 is that if you have not already,

00:38:51.960 you should also acknowledge

00:38:53.480 before the Lord

00:38:54.440 and your current spouse

00:38:57.560 that what you previously did

00:39:00.680 was in fact wrong

00:39:02.960 and that you're sorry

00:39:04.700 for sinning against God,

00:39:07.740 sinning against your previous spouse,

00:39:10.000 sinning against now

00:39:10.800 your current spouse,

00:39:12.620 Because you caused them to commit adultery

00:39:14.980 by entering into that marriage with you.

00:39:17.400 They're not in a state ongoing adultery,

00:39:19.660 but they did by entering,

00:39:21.000 they did commit in a past tense adultery

00:39:23.100 and you did cause them to stumble.

00:39:26.680 And so there should be repentance before the Lord

00:39:28.940 between your present spouse,

00:39:31.140 if possible, between your previous spouse.

00:39:34.800 Maybe it's writing them an email or something.

00:39:37.000 I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.

00:39:39.160 What's done is done and God's grace is sufficient.

00:39:41.240 His love covers a multitude of sins.

00:39:43.780 I'm seeking to honor Christ in my present marriage,

00:39:46.640 but I should not have done that.

00:39:48.320 Should not have divorced you without biblical cause.

00:39:51.600 Would you please forgive me? 0.99

00:39:53.400 That's what you should do.

00:39:54.820 So there should be repentance.

00:39:57.280 And then, beyond that,

00:39:59.520 there should be righteousness moving forward.

00:40:01.640 Not two wrongs committed, making a right.

00:40:04.720 Not, I'm going to get a second divorce now because it,

00:40:07.120 no, I shouldn't have been in this marriage 0.86

00:40:09.500 because I shouldn't have left that marriage.

00:40:12.040 But under the providence of God, I am in this marriage.

00:40:15.880 And the solution now, because of getting a wrong divorce then,

00:40:18.680 is not to get another wrong divorce now.

00:40:20.400 So I'm going to remain in the marriage honoring Christ.

00:40:24.660 That's what the scripture prescribes.

00:40:28.000 Okay, fleshing out a little bit more of Jesus' teaching on this subject.

00:40:32.400 Let's look now at Matthew chapter 19, verses 3 through 9.

00:40:35.200 pharisees came up to him and tested him that being jesus by asking is it lawful to divorce

00:40:43.100 one's wife for any cause notice the question they don't ask is it lawful to get a divorce

00:40:49.160 because the answer to that question would be yes it is lawful to get a divorce under certain

00:40:55.040 circumstances which jesus fleshes out and whatever jesus leaves unsaid the apostle paul

00:41:03.180 with apostolic Christ authority he fleshes out so between Jesus and Paul the two of them together

00:41:12.920 in scripture we have a full exhaustive case of when divorce is in fact permissible so the

00:41:20.840 question is not is it lawful to divorce one's wife full stop no that's not the question because

00:41:27.960 The answer would be yes, sometimes it is.

00:41:30.580 Instead, the question is,

00:41:31.560 is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?

00:41:36.280 And the answer to that question is no.

00:41:38.660 Verse 4 now, Matthew 19.

00:41:40.820 He, being Jesus, answered,

00:41:42.320 Have you not read he who created them in the beginning

00:41:44.820 made them male and female, 0.94

00:41:46.720 and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother 0.92

00:41:49.880 and hold fast to his wife,

00:41:51.460 and the two shall become one flesh.

00:41:53.960 So they are no longer two, but one flesh.

00:41:56.800 What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

00:42:00.940 They said to him, Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and send her away?

00:42:08.360 Jesus said to them, Because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives.

00:42:14.440 But from the beginning, it was not so.

00:42:17.020 And I say to you, remember, this has been the theme, the entire theme of the Sermon on the Mount.

00:42:23.660 Matthew chapter 5 is that Jesus, precisely to the contrary of what most evangelical pastors

00:42:31.000 will tell you, Jesus comes in and says, here's the law. And forget that because all that matters

00:42:37.240 is grace. No. He says, here's the law. I have not come to abolish it. Rather, I've come to fulfill

00:42:43.480 it. Not one jot or tittle of the law will pass away until heaven and earth pass away. And I'm

00:42:49.020 going to draw out the proper exegesis because the Jewish religious rulers of your day have been 0.99

00:42:54.340 perverting the law and making it lowering the bar and I'm going to come and raise the bar not by 0.94

00:43:00.420 taking away from Moses not by adding to Moses but properly exegeting and applying Moses that's what 0.60

00:43:08.200 Jesus does and he's doing it right now here he's done it with the sixth commandment murder he's

00:43:14.500 now doing it with the seventh commandment, adultery. I say to you, whoever divorces his 0.90

00:43:20.380 wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. So Jesus, in his own

00:43:28.740 word, says if you get a divorce apart from adultery, then you did not have biblical cause.

00:43:36.540 Therefore, your divorce is invalid in the sight of God. And so if you then go and enter into another

00:43:42.540 marriage without having that first marriage covenant dissolved properly according to God's

00:43:50.660 standard then by going into this new marriage you might say that you were divorced you might have a

00:43:56.580 legal court of law in your country say that you were divorced but in God's standard you were not

00:44:02.860 divorced and so by entering into a new marriage you have committed now adultery again what do you

00:44:09.580 do in hindsight if you become convicted of this later on if you start to finally understand and

00:44:16.840 believe the teachings of the bible on this subject later on after having already done those things

00:44:22.640 what you do is you repent to the proper parties involved present spouse past spouse maybe one of

00:44:30.420 your pastors and confess that sin to him probably your children if children were involved especially

00:44:37.140 if they're now older and can understand but then moving forward what you do is you seek to

00:44:42.200 live in a christ-like manner in your present marriage two wrongs don't make a right you're

00:44:48.060 not getting another divorce because the first one was wrong but it was a sin not an ongoing

00:44:53.820 continual state of sin but it was a sin that's the words of jesus matthew 19 verse 9 i say to you

00:45:00.140 whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and then marries another commits

00:45:05.500 adultery, not becomes an adulterer forever with no hope, but does commit adultery in a moment

00:45:14.380 as a sin. Here's a quote from John Calvin. I'm going to be using John Calvin throughout this

00:45:19.600 little mini series on divorce and remarriage. And I'm going to use Calvin because I agree with him.

00:45:25.320 I think he's right. And I'm also going to use the Westminster Standards because I agree with them

00:45:30.980 and I think they're right.

00:45:32.720 You guys know that

00:45:33.700 ultimately I submit to the Word of God.

00:45:38.480 Secondarily, underneath that,

00:45:39.780 I submit to the 1689,

00:45:41.460 Second London Baptist Confession of Faith,

00:45:43.440 not as something additional to the Word of God,

00:45:45.300 but simply as what I see

00:45:46.760 as one of the best expositions

00:45:48.880 of the Word of God.

00:45:50.680 Everybody has an interpretation.

00:45:52.320 For those who say,

00:45:53.140 well, it's just the Bible,

00:45:54.080 no creed but Christ.

00:45:55.420 Okay, well, the very next question is,

00:45:56.820 who is Christ?

00:45:57.840 And then that person begins to explain

00:45:59.580 and describe Christ

00:46:00.620 and they've just written a creed.

00:46:02.420 And their creed is a modern creed and a personal creed

00:46:05.440 and it will fail when held up in comparison

00:46:08.120 to historical tried and true creeds.

00:46:09.960 Everybody has a creed, right?

00:46:11.440 It's the same with theology, the same with exegesis.

00:46:14.300 When someone says, well, I don't like confessions,

00:46:16.120 just give me the Bible, okay?

00:46:17.680 What does the Bible mean?

00:46:19.420 What does this passage in the Bible mean?

00:46:21.480 As soon as they open their mouth

00:46:22.640 to begin to answer that question,

00:46:24.100 what they're going to do is provide an answer

00:46:25.700 that is inferior to the answer

00:46:27.840 that Calvin or somebody else already provided.

00:46:29.540 so this is not elevating confessions and creeds about the scripture it's just acknowledging the

00:46:34.740 inescapable reality that everyone interprets scripture the only question is who's interpreting

00:46:39.980 scripture and how well did they interpret scripture so i would just like to go with

00:46:44.320 older better men than myself and you can use the little quips and cliches of i just go with price

00:46:54.400 and i just go with the bible no what you're actually saying is you just go with you

00:46:58.160 because there's no such thing as pure, unadulterated Bible.

00:47:02.120 Everyone reads the Bible and somehow determines its meaning

00:47:06.360 and then somehow tries to determine its application.

00:47:10.980 Everyone does that.

00:47:11.840 So you're either doing that in isolation as an individual,

00:47:16.140 according to your own interpretation and your own application,

00:47:19.740 or you're doing that submitted to a higher council,

00:47:23.800 a higher court

00:47:26.340 history of the church

00:47:30.020 and how people have understood this through the ages

00:47:32.020 so you're just, everyone's doing it

00:47:34.120 it's not whether but which

00:47:35.620 it's not whether you have confessions, just which ones

00:47:38.280 you can have the 1689 confession

00:47:41.100 or the Westminster confession

00:47:42.440 or you can have Bob's confession

00:47:44.680 or Fred's confession

00:47:46.900 but you will have a confession

00:47:48.940 it's not whether but which

00:47:50.760 it'll be a good one or it'll be a bad one

00:47:53.560 And if it's just your own personal confession that you've been writing in your head as you go along through life, you do have a confession.

00:48:01.340 I submit to you it's a bad one.

00:48:03.200 Okay.

00:48:04.240 This is what Calvin says.

00:48:06.540 I do hold it to 1689 above the Westminster.

00:48:09.640 Calvin would be a Westminster guy.

00:48:11.540 That's how I got on this.

00:48:12.800 However, I do think that the Presbyterian position on divorce and remarriage is better and more faithful to the text.

00:48:19.720 That's why I'm using them.

00:48:21.660 Okay.

00:48:22.940 Calvin says, now Christ assumes as an admitted principle

00:48:26.020 that at the beginning God joined the male to the female

00:48:29.160 so that the two made one entire man.

00:48:32.480 And therefore, he who divorces his wife tears from him

00:48:36.600 as if it were the half of himself.

00:48:39.660 But nature does not allow any man to tear in pieces his own body.

00:48:43.740 But the exception which Christ states appears to be superfluous.

00:48:48.700 For if the adulteress deserves to be punished with death,

00:48:52.940 Talked about this a couple weeks ago. 0.98

00:48:55.420 You and five million other people saw it.

00:49:04.760 You okay, buddy?

00:49:07.340 Love you, guy.

00:49:08.340 He's had a wicked cough.

00:49:10.960 Please pray for it.

00:49:11.800 We really want him to get healed before the baby comes.

00:49:14.860 Dear God, please heal Franklin in the name of Jesus.

00:49:18.840 Please heal him in the name of Jesus.

00:49:21.120 Amen. 0.97

00:49:22.940 For if the adulteress deserves to be punished with death, 0.99

00:49:26.620 this is what Calvin's getting at, 0.63

00:49:29.020 then what purpose does it serve to talk of divorce?

00:49:33.020 But as it was the duty of the husband to prosecute his wife for adultery

00:49:37.520 in order to purge his house from infamy,

00:49:40.880 whatever might be the result,

00:49:43.000 the husband who convicts his wife of uncleanness

00:49:45.800 is here freed by Christ from the bond,

00:49:49.060 that is, from the marriage.

00:49:52.940 It is even possible that among a corrupt and degenerate people,

00:49:57.600 this is Calvin, centuries ago,

00:50:01.620 and so pertinent and relevant for us today.

00:50:04.980 It is even possible that among a corrupt and degenerate people,

00:50:08.920 this crime, the crime, notice not just sin, Calvin calls it a crime,

00:50:12.640 the crime of adultery, remained to a great extent unpunished.

00:50:17.920 He's not talking about being punished by God.

00:50:19.980 Every sin will eventually be punished by God.

00:50:22.940 but he's talking about the sin of adultery that in the proper sense it also should have been

00:50:28.500 treated not only as a sin but as a crime and therefore should not just be punished by god

00:50:33.540 and the life to come but also punished by the civil magistrate in a temporal sense in this

00:50:38.480 life as well this crime remained to a great extent unpunished calvin says in certain societies and

00:50:45.300 cultures that were corrupt and filled with degenerate people aka our country as in our

00:50:51.580 own day that's calvin talking about his day how much more ours the wicked forbearance of magistrates

00:50:57.200 meaning the civil magistrate forbearing meaning that he's allowing he is deliberately choosing

00:51:03.060 to allow certain crimes to go unpunished such as adultery the wicked forbearance right it's not

00:51:09.520 grace calvin calls it wicked you should punish him but the wicked forbearance of magistrates

00:51:15.020 makes it necessary for husbands to put away unchaste wives because adulterers are not punished

00:51:20.780 I'm going to pause there for a moment and break it down for you.

00:51:23.080 Calvin's saying this.

00:51:24.640 He's saying one of the reasons that divorce is necessary

00:51:27.420 is because civil magistrates don't do their job.

00:51:31.880 Divorce is only biblical.

00:51:33.940 Calvin's saying, he's commentating on the words of Jesus in Matthew chapter 19.

00:51:38.320 Calvin is saying, Jesus says you can't get a divorce

00:51:41.320 because your wife burnt the toast.

00:51:44.680 That's sin. 1.00

00:51:46.840 You can only get a divorce for biblical reasons. 0.95

00:51:50.780 And one of those chief biblical reasons is adultery.

00:51:54.080 The other one is abandonment.

00:51:55.380 We're going to find that with the teachings of St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 7.

00:52:00.260 However, again, give you a little preview.

00:52:02.180 I would make the argument, I will make the argument,

00:52:04.300 that abandonment and adultery are actually two sides of one coin.

00:52:09.500 That in adultery, you're engaging in covenantal actions that only belong in the marriage.

00:52:16.120 You're engaging in covenantal actions, you know what they are,

00:52:18.820 with someone else outside of the marriage that belong in the marriage and abandonment is the

00:52:24.000 refusal to engage in those covenantal actions that must be present in the marriage do not deprive

00:52:30.440 one another except by mutual consent and even then only for a time that you may devote yourselves

00:52:36.440 to prayer but then come back and be joined together once more for there is much temptation

00:52:41.920 and wickedness in the world there is a moral obligation according to the apostolic teachings

00:52:48.280 of Scripture, not only to avoid covenantal relations

00:52:52.460 with others outside the marriage, but also to engage

00:52:56.420 in these covenantal relations within the marriage.

00:53:00.760 And there can be abstinence

00:53:04.220 temporarily at certain times

00:53:07.900 with a mutual agreement. One spouse

00:53:12.060 cannot just tell the other, sorry.

00:53:14.260 now both spouses and for the record that's a two-way street which is actually radical when

00:53:21.680 you think about this two thousand years ago all the way back to the writing of scripture

00:53:26.380 where it's very patriarchal far more than the feminism gynocracy that we have in our day 0.98

00:53:34.900 but in a very patriarchal culture and system even then there were rights given to the wife 0.99

00:53:42.140 over her husband in one arena.

00:53:45.500 What arena was it?

00:53:46.820 His body, his physical body.

00:53:50.700 That his physical body did not ultimately belong to him

00:53:53.940 in an exclusive capacity,

00:53:56.200 but rather his physical body was owned by his wife.

00:54:02.160 And likewise, in a mutual sense,

00:54:04.420 her body was also owned by her husband.

00:54:07.880 He had rights to her body

00:54:09.720 and she had the same level,

00:54:12.100 the same degree of authoritative rights to his body.

00:54:15.320 This is why even within the West,

00:54:17.300 because the West still maintains within it

00:54:20.780 the remnants of Christendom,

00:54:22.640 you understand that our society,

00:54:24.160 our laws, everything that we have,

00:54:26.340 it was built on scripture.

00:54:28.400 It was.

00:54:30.200 And because those remnants are still there,

00:54:32.620 this is why even when a spouse,

00:54:34.840 man or woman, is incarcerated in prison,

00:54:38.100 there's such a thing as conjugal rights why because of the bible

00:54:42.520 because the civil magistrate when we made that law that rule the civil magistrate realized that

00:54:49.980 even in the case of somebody committing murder as long as they were alive until they died whether

00:54:56.840 they were put on death row and the sentence was carried out or whatever may be the case

00:55:00.500 until that person even a convicted felon a convicted murder until they died as long as

00:55:06.820 they were alive and had breath in their lungs their spouse had a right to his body and vice

00:55:14.880 versa even in prison that that biblical principle was so strong that it was not forfeited even by a

00:55:23.300 murderer pretty crazy because it's the word of god so all that being said

00:55:32.720 the wife has rights to the body of her husband the husband has rights to the body of his wife

00:55:41.340 there is no depriving unless it's mutual and even then only temporarily you can't have a husband and

00:55:47.820 wife you know that enter into a marriage and say we've decided to fast and pray for you know the

00:55:53.120 entirety of our our lives as a married couple and we'll never consummate the marriage and god's

00:55:57.820 going to be really blessed by this. No, you're gay. Stop that. You need to repent. No, the Bible 1.00

00:56:08.260 does not allow for that. What the Bible does allow for is temporary. For the purpose of prayer,

00:56:15.440 right? There's a purpose there, not just any purpose. For the purpose of prayer and fasting,

00:56:20.860 a temporary, now it doesn't put a number, could be a week, could be a month,

00:56:26.640 Could be a day, I don't know.

00:56:28.980 But also mutual, because there's a mutual authority. 1.00

00:56:33.480 And the wife actually has that authority also in this arena 0.78

00:56:36.580 when it comes to the body of her husband. 0.99

00:56:39.080 Husband has rights over the body of his wife. 0.99

00:56:41.720 Wife has rights over the body of the husband. 0.97

00:56:43.220 It must be mutual. 0.97

00:56:43.880 So all the way back to my first point,

00:56:47.040 it's not actually two different unrelated sins

00:56:51.380 that give validation, justification to divorce.

00:56:55.840 It's actually two sides of the same coin.

00:56:59.540 Adultery is the engagement and covenantal relations outside the marriage

00:57:05.920 that only belong exclusively within the marriage.

00:57:10.320 And abandonment is the refusal to engage in those covenantal relations within the marriage.

00:57:17.140 So it's adultery and abandonment.

00:57:21.100 a breach of the covenant by consummating or it's not it's a faux consummation but

00:57:29.480 engaging in these relations with someone who's not your spouse or abandonment refusing to engage

00:57:35.920 in the relationships with your spouse so i believe it's my position that the apostle paul

00:57:41.720 first corinthians 7 is not even carving out a second provision as it were for divorce but

00:57:48.380 simply showing the other side of the one provision that jesus already shows which is adultery

00:57:53.220 there's adultery in the positive and adultery in the negative there's adultery engaged and adultery

00:58:01.260 neglected adultery and abandonment two sides of one coin one provision for adult uh divorce

00:58:11.880 that the bible sees as valid and justifiable one of the problems that we have in our day i'm going

00:58:18.020 to pause here for a moment, then we're going to have to say that's enough for this week.

00:58:20.820 One of the problems that we have in our day is that pastors are trying to add other justifications

00:58:29.560 for divorce. A third A, if you will, adultery, abandonment. A third A, that good guys,

00:58:40.800 you know generally conservative i mean it's funny because it's like well i i look at them and i'm

00:58:48.340 like you're a leftist uh you know so by comparison you know they're probably not conservative but um

00:58:55.820 but most people will call them conservative right i happen to be you know a far-right extremist but

00:59:00.640 for the average person these guys you know would would be viewed as conservative so wayne grudem

00:59:05.160 would be an example. Jeff Durbin would be an example. If you haven't, I would encourage you

00:59:11.560 to listen to Jeff Durbin's sermons on divorce. And it will actually surprise you. And I love

00:59:16.920 Jeff Durbin. Respect him greatly. Greatly. But he adds the third A. And the third A is adultery,

00:59:24.980 abandonment, abuse. And historically, the church has always rejected that as a justifiable case

00:59:32.740 for divorce because it's not in the Bible. Now that said, what the Bible does allow for

00:59:39.800 immediately is separation. The Bible does not subject women and children to physical threats

00:59:47.060 of harm, but you can protect the women and children by separation. And that separation 0.52

00:59:55.720 can be for a very long time and in some cases it can be indefinite if the man proves to continue

01:00:03.700 to be a threat there can be long-term or even indefinite separation but the bible doesn't allow

01:00:10.920 for the justification of divorce not for abuse and here's one of the things that you have to be

01:00:18.360 careful with all three of these a's only two of them are legitimate adultery and abandonment and

01:00:23.320 again see what i said earlier i think that these are just two sides of one coin i think there's

01:00:27.840 actually one provision for divorce and it's the sin committed in the positive or by neglect and

01:00:35.440 the negative adultery and abandonment one coin that's the only provision for divorce that the

01:00:40.700 bible gives but in the case of all three of these a's the third one not being legitimate not for

01:00:45.560 divorce it's not justifiable all three of these a's adultery abandonment and abuse the temptation

01:00:53.080 that we have to be careful of

01:00:55.020 is you can get cute

01:00:57.600 with defining all these three A's. 1.00

01:01:01.720 So adultery.

01:01:03.040 Well, he committed adultery of the heart.

01:01:06.200 I saw him do a double take

01:01:08.080 when one of our neighbors

01:01:12.660 was jogging in her yoga pants.

01:01:15.180 That's sin.

01:01:17.880 But if you're going to use that

01:01:19.300 as a case for divorce,

01:01:20.400 you're going to be excommunicated

01:01:25.540 no no that won't fly

01:01:29.940 there is such a thing we just saw it we we're looking at it right now the sermon on the mount

01:01:38.780 there is such a thing as murder of the heart but murder of the heart doesn't get you the civil

01:01:44.040 magistrate and a noose murder the heart can send you to hell eternal consequences if not repented

01:01:52.200 of it's sin but not temporal civil consequences it's not a crime same thing with adultery 0.54

01:01:59.900 adultery the hearts yeah if unrepented will send you to hell lusting in your heart after someone

01:02:06.720 who is not your spouse is a sin.

01:02:09.280 But without acting on it,

01:02:11.600 it is not a crime.

01:02:13.500 And I know that for us,

01:02:15.300 with our classical liberalism brains,

01:02:18.380 we think, well, sexual, you know,

01:02:21.620 it's never a crime.

01:02:22.700 Really?

01:02:25.080 You don't believe that.

01:02:28.660 Right now on the books,

01:02:29.840 there are plenty of things

01:02:30.940 that we consider a crime.

01:02:33.200 Age. 0.97

01:02:35.500 You know what I mean?

01:02:36.380 i'll just leave it there that's enough said certainly there are things we say no

01:02:40.380 there are many things where even some of the most liberal among us would say off with his head

01:02:45.600 and rightfully so but in a biblical sense adultery actually meets that standard

01:02:53.220 of not merely being a sin but also a crime and it was a crime that was punishable according to

01:02:59.460 biblical law by death so all that back to the main point here in terms of calvin's conception

01:03:05.160 of divorce what calvin is saying is this calvin is saying that if we had a righteous civil magistrate

01:03:10.860 then divorce wouldn't be necessary what does he mean

01:03:15.020 you wouldn't have to divorce your spouse because your spouse would be dead

01:03:20.940 that's what calvin's saying calvin elsewhere further fleshes out this concept by saying

01:03:29.760 your spouse should be dead

01:03:31.640 and in the sight of God is dead 0.99

01:03:34.360 and so therefore you're free to remarry

01:03:36.920 because your spouse is not living

01:03:38.380 not in any legitimate sense

01:03:41.460 in the eyes of God

01:03:42.780 if you got a divorce

01:03:44.860 for the one reason that you should get a divorce

01:03:46.680 your spouse committed adultery

01:03:48.240 then with a righteous civil magistrate

01:03:51.540 your spouse would be dead 1.00

01:03:52.820 this one's gonna 0.98

01:03:55.780 I don't know how to

01:03:57.340 i don't know how to teach god's word without it going viral but it will um you can't get a divorce

01:04:03.340 without it being adultery and if it is adultery according to god's law it's not just a sin but a

01:04:07.520 crime the civil punishments for that particular crime was death now that being said real quick

01:04:13.200 according to biblical law that would be the maximum standard so just like you'll see signs

01:04:18.580 on the side of the road don't mess with texas right if you litter you know up to two years

01:04:23.160 in prison, you know, and a $500 fine, or maybe it's the other way, $200 fine and $5 in prison.

01:04:27.900 I personally don't know anybody who's doing hard time for throwing a Coke bottle out the window.

01:04:33.720 Right? I don't know about you, but I don't know anybody who's like, it's been four years, you

01:04:37.740 know, but I'm up for parole with good behavior. It's like, what are you in for? I threw a bag

01:04:43.580 of Cheetos out the window. Right? I don't know anybody, you know, who's, you know, that's their

01:04:50.680 their testimony but the point is when you see signs like that what it's saying is this is the

01:04:55.460 maximum penalty well so too in terms of biblical case law the death penalty it's like well it seems

01:05:02.120 like with biblical case law if you know when in doubt if you're guessing you know what's the

01:05:05.860 biblical punishment a pretty pretty safe guess is death because that's like the biblical punishment

01:05:12.360 for well over half of the crimes that could be committed it's like what's the biblical punishment

01:05:17.740 for breaking the sabbath uh death yep yep it's death okay uh what about adultery death yep uh-huh

01:05:25.240 murder death yep uh-huh um sexuality death yep uh-huh what like when in doubt just guess death

01:05:31.240 it's it's always death with only actually a few that's actually the default setting

01:05:35.760 right the scripture's hardcore i'm not gonna lie it's hardcore uh there's only a few exceptions

01:05:40.460 and that's in the case of theft then it's double restitution the reason why it's not death because

01:05:44.920 your death doesn't pay that person back.

01:05:48.280 You've got to pay that person back.

01:05:49.940 And you need to work.

01:05:51.060 That's why in Christian law, 0.95

01:05:52.420 it's not Sharia law,

01:05:53.560 you don't chop off somebody's hand for stealing.

01:05:55.460 You know why?

01:05:56.180 Because that person needs that hand

01:05:57.560 so they can now be enslaved to you

01:06:01.000 working hard to pay back

01:06:02.780 double what they stole from you

01:06:04.400 until it's made right.

01:06:07.600 Because biblical law is actually just. 0.98

01:06:12.120 Sharia law is actually unjust.

01:06:14.920 people say that all the time they're like this is just sharia law you just want sharia law no i want

01:06:19.460 just law god's laws are perfect and righteous and good they're actually just it's like well

01:06:25.820 biblical law seems harsh and sharia law seems harsh yeah but one is just one is harsh just to

01:06:31.080 be harsh with no rhyme no reason the other one is harsh in order to make wrongs right now all that 0.64

01:06:39.420 back to my point with all these things where death is the penalty it's a maximum penalty

01:06:44.140 except for one scenario according to the noaic covenant this is genesis chapter 9 when someone

01:06:51.360 commits murder it must be death that's a penalty he forfeits his life so there is one particular

01:06:58.480 crime where the only way to make it right and even this doesn't ultimately make it right but is if

01:07:03.940 this person takes the life of another he has forfeited his own life the penalty the just

01:07:08.860 penalty must be capital punishment for that capital crime all these other crimes adultery

01:07:16.380 being one of them capital punishment the death penalty would be the maximum offense so it could

01:07:23.060 be that strict depending on is it a repeat offender what's the nature of adultery how flagrant was it

01:07:29.320 how high-handed was it how public was it how humiliating it could be death and hopefully a

01:07:36.520 righteous judge and a righteous jurors would make that deliberation but death would be the maximum

01:07:42.580 punishment and there could also be lesser punishments all that being said there's the

01:07:47.580 disclaimer all that being said back to calvin though calvin is saying that in a just society

01:07:52.080 adulterers would be punished as criminals and in some cases calvin would probably argue in many or

01:08:00.700 most cases the penalty would be capital punishment in which case divorce would not be necessary

01:08:06.800 because it would no not be a spouse left living to divorce and therefore you would be free to

01:08:12.540 remarry and then calvin this is classic gracious calvin right here this is a classic calvin w 0.99

01:08:18.760 right you think like calvin's hardcore he wants to kill all these people who committed adultery 0.96

01:08:22.540 calvin's calvin is a moderate calvin is chill um calvin actually says yeah he does say that 0.78

01:08:29.780 But he also says, you know what, you'll probably find yourself in certain places at certain times,

01:08:36.420 as Calvin did and as we do today, where the civil magistrate is not just

01:08:41.100 and therefore adultery is not rightly punished and therefore your spouse is alive

01:08:45.840 and therefore divorce is necessary because they're not put to death.

01:08:50.480 But if you divorce your spouse for that reason, the only reason to get a divorce, which is adultery,

01:08:56.640 two sides of one coin remember adultery abandonment then in those cases then you're actually free to

01:09:03.100 remarry why because romans we'll look at this a little bit later i believe it's romans chapter

01:09:08.080 seven we'll look at it another week romans chapter seven verses one through three it seems as though

01:09:14.300 paul's saying that the only way that you're actually free from the covenant bond of marriage

01:09:17.980 is through death not divorce but death and calvin his commentary is also dealing with the romans

01:09:24.460 passage as well as the Matthew 19 Jesus passage Calvin is summing it all up and saying yeah but

01:09:30.400 in God's sight your spouse is dead and so if there's divorce for biblical cause adultery then

01:09:37.960 you are free not only to get a divorce but the same basis biblically that allows you to divorce

01:09:43.580 is the same basis biblically that allows you to remarry and that's where we will have to stop 0.63

01:09:48.620 The reason, again, I hope you can see by this point, the reason why I'm using the Westminster Divines, Calvin, and the Westminster Confession is because in typical Baptist fashion, one of the mistakes that the Baptists make is that the Baptists go too far. 0.83

01:10:05.540 I really believe that that's one of the mistakes. 0.92

01:10:08.500 Baptists will take, you know, 0.98

01:10:09.780 they'll say semper reformanda,

01:10:11.000 reformed and always reforming,

01:10:12.340 and use it then as an excuse to say,

01:10:14.560 you know, that's cute, you know,

01:10:16.700 they reformed this much,

01:10:17.780 but we're going to reform that much. 0.96

01:10:19.120 And then the Baptists just go way too far.

01:10:23.160 You know, whether it's grape juice 0.92

01:10:25.400 for the Lord's Supper, right? 1.00

01:10:28.120 Common Baptist cell. 0.76

01:10:30.100 Or whether it's, well, no divorce ever, you know?

01:10:35.140 Or if there is divorce,

01:10:37.480 even if they were a serial adulterer,

01:10:39.260 no remarriage.

01:10:41.660 Looking at you, Votie Bauckham.

01:10:44.320 Looking at you, John Piper.

01:10:47.300 One of those men I deeply respect.

01:10:50.400 The former, not the latter.

01:10:53.480 But I think Votie's wrong.

01:10:55.680 I think he's wrong.

01:10:57.180 When in doubt, I'll take Votie over Piper.

01:11:00.080 But I'll take Calvin over Votie. 0.99

01:11:02.580 Votie's amazing.

01:11:03.320 calvin's better um i think the presbyterian position does get it right i think they go

01:11:10.260 just the right amount i think the baptists want to go in typical baptist fashion too far and i

01:11:17.180 think that there is a problem with that with more modern traditions and to be honest that's not the

01:11:23.540 baptist position historically it's the modern baptist position it's only a few modern baptists

01:11:30.000 And I think that there is a problem with that.

01:11:32.260 Back to the abuse clause real quick.

01:11:34.360 What I was going to say, that should not be a clause.

01:11:36.920 It's abandonment or adultery.

01:11:38.720 By adding that third one, with all three of them,

01:11:41.220 you can get cute and you can do this.

01:11:42.780 You can say, well, it's adultery in spirit.

01:11:45.340 He did a double take with the yoga pants.

01:11:48.000 No.

01:11:49.160 Or it could be abandonment in spirit.

01:11:51.640 You know, he hasn't complimented me enough lately.

01:11:54.080 I just don't feel like we've spent enough quality time.

01:11:57.180 So I'm going to get it.

01:11:58.000 No, no, no, no.

01:11:58.520 It has to be actual abandonment, physical abandonment.

01:12:01.660 Or it can be with the abuse clause.

01:12:04.720 All of a sudden it can be, well, he verbally abused me.

01:12:07.600 Or, you know, he said something harsh to me.

01:12:10.220 And that was, you know, he emotionally abused me.

01:12:13.120 And what happens is that all of a sudden you get back down to this lowest common denominator,

01:12:18.640 the very thing that Jesus is correcting.

01:12:22.020 Where you can divorce your spouse for any and every reason.

01:12:26.580 It's essentially burning the toast,

01:12:28.260 except, I'll leave it with this,

01:12:30.600 it's exactly the opposite in our place,

01:12:32.460 in our time, as it was

01:12:33.840 what the Pharisees are quoting with Moses.

01:12:37.400 See, with Moses,

01:12:38.600 the law was good and it came from God,

01:12:40.740 but it was being perverted 1.00

01:12:42.080 by the men of that culture in that time

01:12:45.200 to say, well, as long as we do it officially,

01:12:47.920 as long as we do it formally,

01:12:49.080 as long as we give a certificate of divorce. 0.67

01:12:51.000 I give a certificate of divorce to my wife 0.98

01:12:53.480 and I send her away 1.00

01:12:54.540 because she used the restroom 1.00

01:12:58.220 and she left the door open. 0.83

01:13:00.500 I'm done with her.

01:13:02.580 You know, she burnt the toast.

01:13:03.520 I'm done with her. 1.00

01:13:05.080 She didn't iron my pants. 0.99

01:13:06.180 I'm done with her. 0.89

01:13:07.940 And that was the problem in Moses' day.

01:13:10.300 Divorce for any reason

01:13:11.500 with the man sending the woman away.

01:13:15.340 In our day,

01:13:16.300 it's divorce for any reason 0.71

01:13:17.700 with the woman sending the man away.

01:13:22.200 In 70% of cases, 0.83

01:13:24.540 And in those marriages where the woman has a college degree

01:13:27.920 and it isn't divorce, 90% of cases. 0.92

01:13:32.680 But it's the same principle.

01:13:34.840 Divorce for any reason and divorce for any reason is unbiblical. 0.88

01:13:39.660 In the days of Moses, the men were doing it. 0.76

01:13:42.560 In the days of these United States in 2024, 0.99

01:13:45.500 on average, the women are doing it. 0.98

01:13:48.140 And I would argue that part of the reason why the women are doing it 0.99

01:13:50.840 is because pastors will rebuke men for sin 0.96

01:13:54.120 but never correct women for anything. 1.00

01:13:58.080 Let's pray. 0.91

01:13:59.120 Father,

01:14:00.200 I pray that you would bless your word to your people

01:14:03.000 and that you would bring for yourself great glory

01:14:04.860 and I thank you for the women of this church

01:14:06.560 that all the things that I've said

01:14:08.480 that are generally true of women

01:14:09.960 in our culture today

01:14:11.380 are not true of the women here. 0.99

01:14:15.880 That by your grace, 1.00

01:14:17.060 the women here are sinners

01:14:18.120 as the men.

01:14:20.500 But by your grace,

01:14:21.340 that the women here are pursuing godliness 0.99

01:14:23.900 and don't want to be like 0.96

01:14:25.740 the women of our culture. 1.00

01:14:27.840 They want real preaching, 1.00

01:14:30.940 real scripture,

01:14:32.040 real admonishment,

01:14:33.360 and they want to pursue holiness.

01:14:37.300 The holiness for without which

01:14:38.820 no one will see the Lord.

01:14:40.260 So Lord,

01:14:40.840 we thank you for your word

01:14:42.900 and we pray that you would bless

01:14:43.860 the women of this church

01:14:44.880 and we pray that you would bless

01:14:46.860 other Christian women

01:14:48.400 elsewhere all around our country

01:14:50.020 that they would be strengthened

01:14:50.940 and encouraged.

01:14:52.220 We pray this in Jesus' name.

01:14:53.620 Amen.

01:14:53.900 All right, my fellow Elder Cotters.

The NXR Podcast - October 28, 2024

THE SERMON - What Does The Bible Say About Divorce？ – Part 1

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