Earning the gift of life | Ric Elias (#79 rebroadcast)
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 40 minutes
Words per Minute
199.31352
Summary
Rick Elias was on a flight from New York to Charlotte, North Carolina in 2009 when his plane was forced to make an emergency landing in the Hudson River. In this episode, Rick shares the story of that day and how it changed his life forever.
Transcript
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Hey, everyone. Welcome to the drive podcast. I'm your host, Peter Atiyah. This podcast,
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my website, and my weekly newsletter all focus on the goal of translating the science of longevity
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into something accessible for everyone. Our goal is to provide the best content in health
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and wellness, full stop. And we've assembled a great team of analysts to make this happen.
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If you enjoy this podcast, we've created a membership program that brings you far more
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in-depth content. If you want to take your knowledge of the space to the next level at
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the end of this episode, I'll explain what those benefits are. Or if you want to learn more now,
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head over to peteratiyahmd.com forward slash subscribe. Now, without further delay,
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here's today's episode. Welcome to a special episode of the drive. For those of you who
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subscribed to our newsletter, you probably saw this week, we celebrated our fourth anniversary.
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So for those of you that don't just want to let you know, we're four years old. Today's podcast,
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we figured it'd be a great time to ensure folks have had a chance to hear my initial conversation
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with Rick, which was released back in November, 2019. I met Rick in 2013 and I was kind of a fan boy.
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I had seen his Ted talk probably a year or so sooner. It immediately became probably my favorite Ted talk
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that I'd ever seen. And a mutual friend who knew how much of a fan I was introduced us. And to this
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day, it really remains one of the most amazing talks that in such short order puts everything
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into perspective. Rick is a dear friend. We've become closer over the years and he's a wonderful
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mentor to me. In our discussion, we talk about the day that would change Rick's life forever.
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When on January 15th, 2009, Rick was on US Airways flight 1547, which made an emergency landing into the
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Hudson River. I'm sure many of you remember this. Rick dives really deep into how that day impacted
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his life and changed his perspective on everything, including his relationships with his family and
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the broader community. The episode is really an opportunity to allow Rick to share so much of his
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wisdom. And it's really one of those episodes that I think everyone needs to hear at least once
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and probably twice. So I'm going to be going back to listen to it again this week. And I hope you
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enjoy or potentially re-enjoy my conversation with my close friend, Rick Elias.
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Rick, thank you so much for making time. I know you're super busy this week, but when your office
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was able to coordinate us getting together, I was delighted. It is so much fun to be with you today,
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Peter. I'm a huge fan of your podcast and we're dear friends. So when you asked me to be on it,
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I was honored. A lot of people have heard me talk about you. I wrote a blog post, I don't know,
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probably five years ago about how your TED talk was at the time and actually still remains my favorite
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TED talk of all time. It's a very short talk and I'm sure for folks who haven't heard it yet,
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we'll make sure we link to it. But I can't resist starting with that story. So let's just put the
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profundity niceties aside and just go straight to it. Thursday, January 15th, 2009, you're in New York
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City. Why were you here? I was here because one of our partners, DirecTV at the time, was here and I
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was having lunch with the CMO. The night before I had dinner with a good friend of mine and was
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having a couple of small meetings in the morning and then I was flying home to coach my son's
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basketball team when I landed in Charlotte. The flight was going from LaGuardia to Charlotte.
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How many times did you take that shuttle, that flight? That's probably a common flight.
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Yeah. Do you remember having breakfast that morning?
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I went to play hoops in the Reebok Club on the Upper East Side and it was a cold morning and it was
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snowing, big flakes and I chose to walk because it was so beautiful.
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How would you describe your life at that point in time? How big was Red Ventures, your company?
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We had about 700 employees. We've gone in this really nice growth spurt after really struggling
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the first four years. We started in 2000. So we were doing really well, but we were at risk of
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two bad things happening and not having a business. So there was this kind of constant juxtaposition of
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this is not going to last. I actually told our employees, enjoy the good old days. They won't
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last forever. And they were annoyed by me saying that, but it was the reminder that this was very fleeting.
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Would you have described yourself as a happy person? Like how would people describe Rick back then?
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Yeah. Generally, I'm a very positive person. I like to think that I've lived through a lot of great
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things in my life. Some that have actually happened. So that's like how I see world. And
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since I was a kid, that said, I was super stressed. I was trying to build a business so that we could
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tell it and I could go do other things in life. Your kids at the time were how old?
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My daughter was in first grade. My son was in second grade.
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And so how were you thinking about balancing the incredible stress of running a 700 person company,
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the travel that comes with that, and then being the dad, being the coach, being the husband?
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Was that balance, did it feel in balance to you?
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Looking back, it was completely out of balance. And it was, I kind of rationalized myself around
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quality over quantity. And I would literally talk myself into, well, at least I'm coaching my son.
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Or I was like, many of us are during those stages, just really taxed mentally. And my wife really
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carried the burden of raising our kids. And I look back on it and it was 95.5 when it should have been
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Jeez. Yeah. 95.5. I can relate. You were staying at a hotel that morning when you got up?
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I don't remember the hotel. It was in the Upper East because of basketball in the morning,
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This is pre-Uber, I'm guessing, yeah, 2009. So you probably took a taxi to LaGuardia.
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Do you remember anything about your transit from getting through security, getting on that plane,
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anything about it? It was hard given that it's such a routine for you.
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Yes, I do remember. Because of that impact, everything around it becomes kind of much more
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real, but it's a wacky story. I remember I was a little early, which I never was,
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and I went and got a soft serve ice cream at McDonald's. And I worked out really hard that
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morning. And that was the only place where I did this. And, you know, I think that it'll change that
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whole eating area, but I'm making love to this ice cream. It just tastes so freaking good.
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I'm literally just enjoying my vanilla ice cream while I wait for whatever an hour for my flight.
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And I started walking to the gate and it was so good that I turned around and went and had another
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I can relate to that as well, by the way. Although soft serve ice cream isn't a particular weakness
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of mine, but there are other airport weaknesses I have. Trail mix is my airport weakness.
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That's why you look the way you do and the way I look.
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I don't know. I would say the ice cream is probably no worse for you than the trail mix,
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by the way. So they call you guys to board on the plane. You're sitting at the front of the plane.
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Yeah. It was a really kind of crappy day. It was gray, it was cold, it was wet, kind of gone out of
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snow and rain. So it was not the most pleasant day in New York. So I boarded, I was in first class,
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so we boarded first. And I remember sitting in my seat and kind of processing, okay, here's all the
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stuff I got to do on the plane. As soon as I land, I got to do this. And then when I come back,
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my brain is super busy. Just thinking about the non-never-ending list of things to accomplish.
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Are you listening to music or anything? Do you know?
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I'm not. I'm just sitting there kind of vegging a little bit, just thinking about life.
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So 2009, we would have been sort of third generation iPhone and BlackBerry were probably
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I had just switched, literally like two days before.
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An early iPhone. And then the first row, so you can't have a bag under your legs,
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they have to go up. And so I'm sitting there and it was a little bit of a slow departing,
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I think because of the weather, things kind of back out.
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It was like a 2.30 or something like that. And I remember kind of dozing, you know,
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the plane puts you to sleep. And so I was kind of going in and out of that as the plane took off.
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And I was very cognizant when we kind of took off. I was kind of in and out of consciousness
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How long after the takeoff do you know something is not right?
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Yeah. So about three minutes, I think we're about 4,500 feet up or something like that,
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there's a massive explosion. Bam! Like a pipe bomb. And this was 10 years after September 11th,
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but it's still September 11th. And for all of us who lived through that,
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and I had the really lucky seat because I can see the flight attendant kind of kitty corner.
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I looked at her. We were still flying. We were horizontal. And I looked at her and she was calm.
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Her eyes were calm. And I was like, okay, we probably lost an engine. And for the next couple
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minutes, Peter, all you could hear was the engine struggling. Clack, clack, clack, clack. Like
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they were starting to restart it. When you go look at the transcript, that's where they were doing.
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There was a really nasty smell going into the cabin. So it smelled like a really bad-
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Yeah, burnt. Like burned and kind of not. He had turned the plane pretty quickly.
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We were heading back into New York. And in my mind, I'm like, okay, I'm not coaching today.
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The flight attendant's eyes told me all I had to hear, which is, it's going to be a long travel day.
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So when you're leaving LaGuardia, you're up and circling around. So you're sort of over Queens.
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And you shouldn't be coming back over Manhattan, correct?
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I am in the aisle, so I'm not really seeing out the window necessarily. I'm just literally for
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this two minutes, just going like, wow, this is really bizarre. I got to figure out who's
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coach's practice for my son. And that's all I was thinking about.
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Was the next sign that something was wrong, the reduction in sound in the cabin?
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So about 90 seconds before we hit down. So two minutes pass of this.
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Right. And then Captain Sullenberger gets on the voice system for the first time.
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And he only says three words. He says, brace for impact.
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At the same time, they turn off the struggling engines and he lines up the plane with the Hudson
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River. You and I have been here long enough, long enough that there's no runway right at the end
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of the Hudson River. So I knew in that moment, a hundred percent with certainty that we were going
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to die. I looked at the flight attendant's eyes and it was no longer annoyance. It was complete
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terror. I didn't know this, but in airline speak, that means we're not landing at an airport.
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And all of this happened in 90 seconds from when you-
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Two minutes. So there's the two minutes from hitting to when he does that. And then there's 90
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seconds as he's gliding the plane down that you literally-
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Because you're now at the very top of Manhattan when this is happening, right?
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And you have 90 seconds to basically say goodbye to your life. What is really unique about that
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experience is you are a hundred percent certain you're going to die. If anything, I was saying
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to myself, please blow up. I don't want this to break in 50 pieces and drown in this cold water.
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So you're kind of playing all these things out and you are just realizing that there's
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no suffering. So you're not burning or drowning or something that wouldn't make it different,
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But you still don't know what that end is like, do you? I mean, it's not to get too morbid,
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but if I were in that situation, I wouldn't actually understand what the end is.
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I've just seen enough documentaries to know that planes don't land on water.
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Yeah. They break into a million pieces and they spiral out.
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I didn't know how, but I know what was going to happen.
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And at this point it's silent in the cockpit or are people screaming?
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It was more silent than screaming. I'm first row, so I can't hear a ton. And you go into,
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imagine the amount of adrenaline that is going through your system as you are literally trapped
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Did you think I have time to make one phone call?
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Yeah. It was very cleansing. I look back and I was raised Catholic. So
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first thing that crosses my mind is like, okay, I'm not a practicing Catholic, but
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you can repent and all sorts of good things could happen. Right. And I asked myself that question,
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am I going to do something that I, I've chosen not to believe in this part of my life?
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And I didn't. And I said, I'm not a hypocrite. It may be.
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Meaning I'm going to live with the choices I've made.
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Yes. Which was interesting for me to, after my relationship with religion and so forth,
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but it was very powerful 90 seconds because the most important thing I realized was, wow,
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this all changed in an instant. I thought I had years and now it's all over.
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Yeah. I thought we tend to believe we're going to live forever and it would all change in
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an instant. And there was, I really had a ton of regret about the things that I did not get to
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things, experiences, people I needed to ask for forgiveness from people. I wanted to say again,
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I love you. People wanted to hug one more time. And you're like, wow, it all changed. And
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then there's no going back and there's no turning that back. And that was one emotion.
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The other emotion and also around regret was really how much I had allowed my ego to become
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very active in my life and how I spent so much time being wronged by people or just spending so
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much time trying to be right versus choosing to be happy. I realized, wow, I've lived my life in a
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very wasteful way because so much of my energy has been spent on things that did not matter with
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people that did. Think about all the fights you've had with pick your wife. You don't even remember
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90, you know, 30 days later what you fought about yet. You were so passionate about it. It just doesn't
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You know, and then the last kind of regret, because that's what it felt like was this notion that I had
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not focused on the thing that matters most in my life. I inherently knew that my most important
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responsibility was to make sure my kids were the best versions of themselves. And I had completely
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delegated that to my wife in a very unfair way. And I had prioritized not just work, but just
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everything else. And so those were regrets. And I literally thought about all of that. But you know
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what was really interesting, Peter? Dying to me was not scary. I've always thought it would be a scary
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moment. It was super sad because I didn't want to go. I really liked my life. I really wasn't done. I
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had lots of regrets, but it was not scary. And that in itself also has been clarifying for me.
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Had you spoken or have you since spoken about this with the other people on the flight? And do you know
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if any of them felt that? I have not. I have not. I had so much support when I landed on love and all
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that, that I kind of stayed within my realm of comfort. And then immediately after there were all
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sorts of things, books and lawsuits and this, and it all felt so disingenuous to me. The US Airways
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sent us a check for $10,000 and I refused to. I've seen your check. You've seen it. It's sitting in
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Jay Walker's library. Yes. Yeah. You're probably the only person that didn't cash that check.
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You know what? It's just bad karma. I didn't want to cash that check. And it's not the right thing.
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No matter how big it would have been a million bucks, I would have not cashed it. I was given
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the ultimate gift. And the ultimate gift was to say goodbye to your life, to close your eyes,
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to touch your own arm, say, I love you, to wish for it to blow up and to open your eyes and realize
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that you had a second chance. As the plane is coming down, do you see the George Washington
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Bridge? Can you see it? Oh, yeah. I saw it more as we were going over it and you can see the cars
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at a scarily close place. Like literally we... You see cars in a level, you never see them in an
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airplane. Like I wonder... You see the level of detail. The detail. And we almost took on that bridge.
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I don't know if you've seen the movie, but if he chooses to go to Teterboro, we take out a bunch
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of buildings. He literally made all these calculations that he didn't have enough thrust
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to get there. And he said, the only chance I have is to go in the water. And you will relate to this
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story because I know the struggle or your internal fight against authority when it's not well placed.
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And we've talked a lot about this. So when he communicates to the tower and said, I'm going in
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the water and the tower goes like, please repeat because they can understand it. And basically he
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was done with protocol. He's like, I'm going to do my best to try to land this thing. There's all
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sorts of mathematical equations here. We landed, I think at 151 miles an hour or something like that.
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If we are 1.53, we blow up at 149. We tip. The wind blows like 12 and a half miles an hour at 14.
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Like there were so many things that had to be within such a small degree, all compounding into
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a moment that you can land a cylinder with 158 people full of gas. That's like hitting cement.
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Yeah. I just know that from sort of the literature on people who jump off bridges and into water. And
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when you jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, which is something like 220 feet up, much lower than where
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you guys are coming from. It is like hitting cement. And the only people who survive that jump are
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generally people who land exactly feet first. They end up breaking most bones. They break every bone
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in their feet, ankles, compress the spine, but at least they don't pivot, land sideways, have a rib
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tear through their liver or something awful like that. So yeah, it's like a cement, a wet cement landing.
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I don't know if I've ever told you this story, but about five years ago, I met a guy through a friend.
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We were in Houston and the three of us were having dinner and somehow it came up that this guy
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was in a helicopter crash. He was the only one that survived. It was a pilot, three, maybe three or four
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other people in the helicopter and him. And there was a technical malfunction in the helicopter. I
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don't remember exactly what it was, but it was one of those things where it was clear they were
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crashing and it was clear they were all going to die. I mean, helicopters just look like the most
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unstable things when they're out of control. And interestingly, it was about the same length of time.
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He had about two minutes of crashing and he hadn't heard of you. So he hadn't seen your Ted talk
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after the fact he did. Of course, I directed him to it. And what blew my mind, Rick, was the similarity
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in the way he described that two minutes. He said, he said, Peter, you'll think this is crazy,
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but I just wasn't afraid to die. But boy, was I sad. He was about your age. He was probably 40 when
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this happened. He was hurt in the crash. I mean, he broke both his legs. I mean, he was again,
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the only survivor, but walked away with his life. I'll never forget that, how he explained
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something about not being afraid, but just being so sad. Yeah. It makes me wonder how many other
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people on that plane would echo that same thought. Obviously, I can't relate. So I don't know what
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that means. I feel like I'd be afraid, but I'm looking at a man who's been through it and tells
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me that that's not what he felt. I just bought a lucky ticket. So when did you close your eyes?
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How far do you think you were above the water? You know, when you fly a lot, you can almost sense
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when you're going to hit. Even if you're dozing off, you feel the ground coming, right? So when
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about 10 seconds left, I can feel the countdown in my system and 10, nine. And that's when I grabbed
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my arm and I said, I love you. Why did you do that? I think I had a sense of needing comfort
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as you exit life. I probably, there was probably a lot of acceptance in that statement subconsciously.
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Prior to that, were you someone who struggled with loving yourself? Were you hard on yourself?
00:20:09.880
No, no, no, no, no. I have many issues. That's not one of them.
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That's interesting. I'm very hard on myself. I wonder if I would even have the foresight to think
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that. It's a beautiful sentiment. What was the sound like?
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It was, he puts the tail and then kind of the nose just jams. So it was a violent accident.
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And then we skid to the left. I have my eyes closed. I open my eyes and I am completely disoriented
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because I'm expecting to being upside down. Like if I left my eyes open, I think I would
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have been much more oriented. And it took me a split second to realize that this looked like
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a cruise ship. We had this plane sitting on the water kind of all around us.
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When your eyes open, the plane is still moving?
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I don't remember. I don't, I don't think so. I think I come to a stop or close to coming to a stop.
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Was there any part of you that thought this is death? I'm dead. This is an afterlife. This is
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sort of a few circuits firing in what remains of my central nervous system, but I'm actually dead.
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Like, I mean, I, again, what, what is it? Then to me, you would think that that would be a very
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realistic. It just was so quick, right? That it was confusing. It was unusual. You know, when you
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have zero probability of something and it happens, you're like, did that really happen? And immediately
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we went into kind of, holy cow, we got to get out of here. Do you have a moment of realizing
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what has happened or do you immediately shift into business mode of, okay, now it's an emergency
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excavation. Now it's like all that stuff that nobody pays attention to when the plane is taking
00:21:47.660
off the slide. How does the slide work? Who takes the door off? How many doors are there? Where is the
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nearest door? All that stuff. You guys go right into that mode. And is it orderly? Is it chaotic? Are
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people screaming, clapping, crying? What's happening?
00:22:01.720
That plane was not equipped for water. That's why people were standing on the wings, not on rafts.
00:22:08.300
I don't understand. What do you mean it wasn't equipped for water?
00:22:09.820
So if you look, first class, there's rafts. But in the coach section, there were no rafts because
00:22:15.560
that plane was not supposed to go over water. So that's why nothing deployed when you open those
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emergency doors. Only you can stand on the wings.
00:22:26.160
No, no. If the plane had landed on the east side, there's not the ferries and the hustle and bustle
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of where we landed. That thing was taking water. They evacuated the people from the wing because
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we were sinking. So there were so many things. There were a bunch of ferries around us as soon
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as we landed. So it never felt like we were not going to be safe in that regard. But on the east
00:22:47.620
How cold was the water? Do you remember the feeling?
00:22:49.700
It was very cold. But adrenaline takes over. So it's only cold after it wasn't cold in the moment.
00:22:54.680
And I'll tell you a story that I have really not shared with many people. I think because I was
00:23:01.720
tired from hooping and staying out late and working and all this stuff and eating so much
00:23:06.460
sugar before getting on the plane. I'm kind of comatose sitting there on my seat as people are
00:23:10.240
boarding late in the boarding process. An elderly lady in a wheelchair in her is coming down the ramp.
00:23:17.020
And my voice inside of me, and I've done this before, says, get up, give up your seat.
00:23:23.200
Go sit and coach. I'm 6'5", but it's the right thing to do. And then I'm like, I'm tired. It's not
00:23:30.680
a long flight. I'm being completely selfish. And then her daughter's behind the person that is
00:23:36.660
helping the lady. I'm out. There's two of them. We can't do it. And I'm pretty sure this guy won't
00:23:39.860
give the seat. So I rationalize myself to being completely selfish. So once we are in the raft,
00:23:47.020
and I know that this elderly lady is in the back of the plane, I start freaking out because I know
00:23:52.020
she can't walk. So I start screaming, where's the lady? Where's the lady? We're in the raft. And by
00:23:57.440
the way, it was really interesting in the raft, in our side, some people were completely frozen.
00:24:02.740
They couldn't understand anything. Some people were panicking in the raft. And then there was a
00:24:07.160
handful of us who were like, okay, let's problem solve. And eventually the older lady comes to the
00:24:12.260
front of the plane. They bring her in because they got to put her in a raft. And I grab her.
00:24:16.320
And I'm sitting there and she's completely traumatized by this. And I'm just thinking
00:24:23.140
about, oh my goodness, my last act would have been one of my most selfish acts. That was an
00:24:28.020
interesting emotion. And then when we got to the ferry, we had to climb about 10 steps.
00:24:33.760
Everybody evacuated. I'm the bigger guy. I'm saying, I'll bring this lady up. The guys were
00:24:37.780
trying to hold her. Peter, I think something crazy happened as I'm going up this frozen ladder
00:24:45.640
with no gloves, no anything, no jacket. And I'm holding her basically in my chest. My hand slips.
00:24:51.980
I was within a split second of dropping an 80-year-old in the water. And I grabbed.
00:24:59.740
And it was a very, all of this is happening in this moment. As soon as I got to the top of the boat
00:25:05.440
and she was safe, we were all safe, I started crying. Like the river of emotion was insane.
00:25:14.620
What about others? Did they experience that? I mean, I'm guessing that different people are
00:25:20.000
processing this at totally different speeds. There are probably still people who don't actually
00:25:25.160
understand what has happened. It sounds like you've moved. You're in post-processing on some
00:25:31.380
level. Are you talking amongst each other? No. Everybody, as soon as one of the people in the
00:25:37.900
ferry, I grabbed the phone. I really wanted to call my wife. By then, she was at the pediatrician
00:25:44.520
with the kids. And her sister called her and goes, where's Rick? And she's like, he's coming from New York.
00:25:49.560
She goes, turn the TV on. And Brenda turned the TV. And she thought that we all had died. So she's
00:25:54.700
crying at the pediatricians. The kids are screaming. And I call from a random number. And as she tells
00:26:00.260
the story, she thinks it's the police saying, hey, your husband died. Right. Random New York number.
00:26:05.660
It's like, and I call and I say, honey, I'm okay. And like, she screams, he's alive. He's alive. And
00:26:14.340
the kids are completely confused. They just lost their dad, but he's alive.
00:26:18.800
So everybody, we were passing on this phone and all of that. Where was the crew at this time?
00:26:24.620
So most people ended up on the New York side. Some people ended up in the New Jersey side. I ended up
00:26:29.260
in the New York side. And I think it was Pier 42. And my guess is the crew is the last to get off the
00:26:34.860
plane. They have to make sure everybody's off. And I'm guessing Sully is the last of the last.
00:26:39.780
A hundred percent. And he ends up, I'll tell you a quick story on Sully. So we end up in,
00:26:44.520
and by the way, New York is an amazing city in so many ways.
00:26:49.120
Yeah. If something's going to go wrong, this is the city to have it happen. You got the best
00:26:52.240
rescue. You've got. Unbelievable. The first responders, by the time we got to the pier,
00:26:56.200
they were like. There's hot chocolate waiting for you.
00:26:57.780
The Red Cross. And you know, there were priests and rabbis and everybody. And they're kind. And
00:27:03.040
like, it was amazing. Like we're sitting there and they're interviewing everybody because they
00:27:06.520
don't know if I'll play or whatever. Right. And before they release anybody, they need to
00:27:10.080
and everybody. Three hours later, they release, they start putting us in buses to take us to a
00:27:15.060
hotel. And Captain Sollenberger standing there, what it looked like fully dressed, stoic, probably
00:27:23.200
contemplating what in the world just happened. And I went up to him. There was nobody around him.
00:27:27.780
And I went up to him and I said, Captain, I didn't know his name. I said, thank you for saving our
00:27:31.740
lives. And Peter, he said something to me that day that I say to myself all the time when someone
00:27:38.000
thanks me for something. I don't say it out loud much. You know what he said to me?
00:27:44.800
He said, I was just doing my job. Can you imagine if we all just kind of did our jobs
00:27:50.940
at every level? That really shocked me that that was his process. So they put us on a bus
00:27:58.880
and the media is there and all of that. And we get to the hotel and there's food and they
00:28:04.780
were amazing. And they're like, okay, you want a hotel? The train is tomorrow. Many people lived
00:28:11.600
here and I looked at the lady and I said, I need to get on the next flight or what time is the next
00:28:15.720
flight? And she looked at me like I got hit in the head, right? It's like, she's calling the
00:28:20.560
concussion protocol. Like this guy has completely lost it. And the way I said it to myself was like,
00:28:27.160
listen, the probability of this happening twice is like, if this plane goes down and I die,
00:28:32.680
it's me, God is coming to see, right? Let's go get this over with. If it dies and I don't die,
00:28:37.760
Oprah Winfrey and I are going to share a stage somewhere. And if I get on this plane, I'll never
00:28:41.660
be afraid of flying again. Did you fly out that night? I flew out that night. What did you feel
00:28:47.080
like when that plane was taking off? How did it feel different? I remember the next time I took a
00:28:53.920
flight, which was maybe a couple of weeks later. And I had a seat. Again, I got upgraded first class
00:29:00.280
and I gave it up and I wanted to sit in the first seat of coaching. I wanted to see me
00:29:04.700
on that plane. And I sat on the left-hand side of the plane and I just watched and I needed to
00:29:10.600
relive all of that, you know, that flight, I just wanted to come home. My mom and dad picked me up
00:29:16.640
because my wife was at home with the kids. They're young and our home got 60 people within an hour and
00:29:22.660
they all came and like everything, but nothing had really happened. We were fine, but it's just
00:29:26.480
beautiful love and beautiful expression of support and community. And so my parents picked me up and
00:29:32.640
there's media and everybody there and I like squirt around and I don't want any, like people are talking
00:29:38.160
to the cameras and whatever. And you can see when you look at the footage, I'm like pretending I'm a
00:29:42.220
normal passenger on the plane. And my mom, it's all of five, three at the time she was 70. So she's
00:29:50.420
about to turn 80. And I remember giving a hug to my dad and giving a hug to my mom and feeling
00:29:57.060
like this was the safest place in the world. A little lady hugging a six, five foot guy was the
00:30:04.240
safest place. And I remember feeling like a kid again. I had asthma as a kid and that was the only
00:30:08.780
place that I could breathe. And it was so beautiful to embrace my mom in a way that again, it started this
00:30:15.780
journey of, I am not taking anything for granted. And that hug, it was like the switch. And there's
00:30:25.240
not a day that goes by that I will not do something and remind myself, I'm not taking this for granted.
00:30:33.160
And I'd love that hug with my mom. My mom has fairly advanced Alzheimer's now, as you know. And so
00:30:38.780
those hugs are not there anymore the same way, but I'm so glad I was able to be a kid again as it
00:30:45.400
relates to hugging her. We were together a few months ago and you mentioned to me that you had
00:30:50.720
never seen Captain Sullenberger since that day you saw him on the docks. And then you saw him for the
00:30:56.720
first time. You had just seen him for the first time. Tell me about that. So one of our companies
00:31:02.800
is the Points Guy. And the Points Guy has a big award show here at the Intrepid. And he was going to be
00:31:09.980
the guest of honor. And Brian, who is the Points Guy and a good partner and a good friend, he's like,
00:31:14.820
hey, would you like to introduce him? And I said, I will be honored.
00:31:21.920
I wasn't ready. I have a big idea that I have, I've been working on. And I'm going to do something
00:31:28.380
my way. I just, I had said thank you to him that day. And I know he had been overburdened. And I
00:31:33.480
said, the world will bring our energies again. And so we're in the red carpet, this big event,
00:31:39.080
hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people, all sorts of things. And he knows that I'm
00:31:43.740
introducing him. And he knows that I was a passenger. And I'm like, I am so curious as to
00:31:48.620
how I'm going to react. I see him. I shake his hand. We embrace, we lock out.
00:31:56.360
Before. And Peter, not a word came out of my mouth. There was nothing coming out of my mouth. And it
00:32:02.060
was amazing. And it didn't have to come out of my mouth. He could see my eyes, what I wanted to say
00:32:08.000
in a way that was so deep. And he understood, and I saw in his eyes, a connection that two human
00:32:14.020
beings can't manufacture. It was really an amazing moment to see the person that saved your life.
00:32:20.020
And then to have the honor of introducing him a couple hours later and give him an award.
00:32:25.240
How did you even think about and prepare for making introductory remarks in that setting?
00:32:33.820
I planned it, but I didn't write it. Just like the TED Talk. I'm not a great memorizer,
00:32:39.060
but I need to have a framework and I need to let my heart go. I told a few stories when I introduced
00:32:44.500
him up that day of a very kind guy that basically gave everything he had that day to all of us.
00:32:50.020
And he was going under, and I talked about the first responders, and I told the story of him
00:32:54.500
doing his job as the core of this. But what was unique to him is literally he had prepared for
00:33:02.260
that moment his whole life. And I went through his background as an instructor and maybe as a glide
00:33:10.240
instructor. All the things that he had done was because he will tell other pilots, you're only a
00:33:16.220
pilot when you lose an engine. And he literally had prepared his whole life to be a pilot, not for
00:33:22.160
the tens of hours he flown, but for the moment that he lost an engine that he didn't think it would be
00:33:32.420
Do you get the sense from all you now know about the details of that? What percentage of pilots that
00:33:39.840
fly commercial airlines could have done that under the same setting? I mean, we can never know the
00:33:46.020
answer to that. And I'm guessing the answer isn't a lot, but I know very little about this, of course,
00:33:50.900
but, um, watching the movie, reading the book, that sort of thing. But it seemed like improbable that a lot
00:33:58.920
of people could have acted the way he did because of the length of time they had to process. So it
00:34:04.600
was, to me, it was, maybe I'm incorrect by the way, because I'm not a pilot. Maybe I don't even
00:34:07.980
understand all the nuance, but to me, the single most important thing was how quickly he could
00:34:14.500
process information and make a decision about what to do. And even a pilot with more technical skill,
00:34:21.420
and I'm not, I don't know how much more technical skill one could have or need, but if you took an
00:34:25.600
extra 15 seconds to come to the same decision, it wouldn't have mattered. To your point earlier,
00:34:31.560
if he had tried to go to Teterboro, no way you're plowing over land, if not hitting the bridge on the
00:34:38.600
way to New Jersey. If he tried to turn to LaGuardia, he's probably plowing through Manhattan at that point.
00:34:45.660
So I don't know. I mean, I just, I think the answer's close to zero, if not zero, because there
00:34:51.720
are a bunch of factors. I think he, because he was a gliding instructor, I don't know how many of them
00:34:57.100
are out there, but it was what allowed him to place that plane in the water in a way because he had
00:35:05.080
taught flying for so long and he had prepared pilots for this. But more importantly, there were
00:35:11.000
all those factors that all had to fit within a very narrow margin. So even him in other moments where
00:35:17.380
other factors go. And then there's a lot of luck. One of those wings tips the water and we go through
00:35:23.480
it. So the odds of that kind of situation happening, it's close to zero. Do you remember the scene in
00:35:30.260
Saving Private Ryan at the end of the movie when the character played by Tom Hanks is dying and
00:35:37.120
Private Ryan, who's been saved, basically is sort of coming to grips with the realization that in an
00:35:43.340
effort to save his life, an entire group of men have died. And the character played by Tom Hanks
00:35:49.080
basically says to him just two words, earn this. Did you feel some sense of, look, I've always lived
00:35:59.020
my life. I didn't know you before this, but I'm imagining you were not that different a person.
00:36:03.360
I don't think like you overnight became the great guy you are today. But did you feel a bigger sense
00:36:09.380
of obligation to your community, both your immediate community, meaning your family, but your larger
00:36:14.720
community, which is your company, and then the even broader community than that, which is the world
00:36:19.220
around you? I mean, has that changed in any way? A hundred percent. A couple of days later in my own
00:36:24.200
quietness, I was trying to make sense of all of this now. And I made a commitment to myself. I made a
00:36:31.980
promise to myself that when I die in six months, six years, or 60 years, if you help me live long,
00:36:40.760
hopefully longer, I am going to ask myself one question. And this is how I would judge my life.
00:36:48.180
And that question is, did I earn my gift? And I was given the ultimate gift because we in our evolution
00:36:57.980
can't process death. Otherwise, we would have never left the cave. I left the cave. I was given
00:37:05.780
the gift. And that gift is a responsibility, not a gift. Who do you think was the first person around
00:37:13.880
you to see that difference? I mean, I have to guess your wife must have, just because of her proximity
00:37:19.320
to you and how close the two of you are, what do you think she noticed first, once the dust settled,
00:37:25.760
meaning the months that followed? And think about the clarity of not postponing anything,
00:37:32.220
not dealing with negative energy and focusing on what matters. So my three thoughts at the plane was
00:37:40.880
landing of no regrets. I try to live a life of no regrets and by no means is perfect. But if I
00:37:47.980
was to, I don't know, index the amount of negative moments I've had with my wife, I bet you they're
00:37:53.640
under 10% of what they used to be. I ask for forgiveness, not because I may have done something
00:37:59.720
wrong, but because someone was offended by what I did. I choose to be happy, not righteous.
00:38:05.420
I want to sort of focus on that a little bit because even just, if nobody listening to this
00:38:09.540
can relate to that, I still want the benefit, but I suspect I'm not alone. When I was a kid,
00:38:15.240
actually in high school, and I was a struggling high school student and I showed,
00:38:19.020
I wouldn't say I showed no potential, but it was certainly not clear what I was supposed to be
00:38:23.720
when I grew up. All I wanted to be was a professional boxer, but they made me take this
00:38:27.980
aptitude test. And it was not about sort of academic aptitude, but more of emotional, like
00:38:33.380
where would you fit? And I remember the result of the test was the strongest signal they had ever
00:38:41.820
seen for someone who values justice and things to be in correct order. And they were like, well,
00:38:49.740
you've probably got a career in law enforcement ahead of you, son. You know, you really ought to
00:38:55.020
consider joining the police force, or maybe you end up going to law school and you'll become a judge,
00:38:59.600
but you really have this strong arc of justice. You just want justice. And I think that that's sort
00:39:06.680
of a detriment sometimes. I think it's because you do, you get into these arguments with your spouse
00:39:10.960
and even if you're going to be objective, in some situations they're wrong and you're right,
00:39:15.920
but you're right. This idea that what is the upside to that? You could very easily just drop this case,
00:39:22.920
quote unquote, and get back to just being a happy existence with the world. So were you someone who
00:39:30.640
would argue a point if you felt you were right? And because I've never known that side of you,
00:39:35.640
it's so hard for me to imagine you having any of that streak in you that I have, for example.
00:39:40.160
I'm Latin and hard, you know, hotheaded. I like literally, I would, less than that,
00:39:45.160
I would be too passionate about certain things. But think about it. There's always three sides to
00:39:50.260
an argument. Yours, theirs, and the truth. And if you start every argument understanding that you
00:39:55.220
don't have the truth, you have your truth, it's really easy to surrender to that. And most things
00:40:03.000
in life are a shade of gray and not completely black and white. And the problem is when we believe
00:40:09.280
we're right, we have made something black and white.
00:40:12.500
Do you think that that is something you knew beforehand and choose to ignore? Or is it
00:40:17.520
something that you somehow came to you as an epiphany as a result of this?
00:40:25.280
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite, I plagiarize most of the things I've said in being Puerto Rican and
00:40:32.340
learning English when I came to college here. I literally, I'm constantly collecting new thoughts
00:40:37.480
from others. I had an original thought after the plane crash, like mine. Like I could literally claim
00:40:43.680
this set of words, may have been odder, but I've never heard them. And it is that I collect bad wines.
00:40:56.160
I collect bad wines is the trigger thought for not postponing anything. And the thought is if you go
00:41:04.980
to my house, I have a lot of bad wine because if the wine is ready and the person is there,
00:41:09.900
I'm opening my best one. This changes in an instant. I don't want to leave with a bunch of
00:41:14.700
good wine that I never drank. And it's a way of living. It's a way of living in everything.
00:41:20.060
So collecting bad wines means so much. It just means taking the trip, making the call,
00:41:26.760
taking the risk, having the courage, forcing yourself to things that you know you need to do.
00:41:33.360
I know you know this, but I was 45 pounds heavier at the time when this happened. And this was a
00:41:39.320
commitment of me and saying, I'm doing all of this. It becomes very centering.
00:41:43.420
Which by the way, a little counterintuitive. Some would argue, good thing you had those two ice
00:41:49.160
creams. Wouldn't you have regretted it if that plane's crashing and you're like, man,
00:41:53.560
I just wanted those two ice cream. You can take these things to two different extremes. And there
00:41:57.880
is a bit of a contrast, which is on the one hand, you're living for the moment, in which case we
00:42:03.760
should be as hedonic as possible. But at the other hand, you've lost 45 pounds. You were healthy to
00:42:08.680
begin with, but you're much healthier today. You're probably 10 years younger physiologically,
00:42:13.440
which is a very forward looking point. How do you reconcile those completely at odds
00:42:19.820
behaviors or behaviors is the wrong word, but viewpoints?
00:42:23.300
I still have the ice cream. I think again, it's a notion of balance. I think it's defining the game.
00:42:31.500
So there's a book that it's coming out called the infinite game. And I believe in the infinite game
00:42:38.640
before the book, Simon Sinek, and he's great. He's a friend. And he wrote this book. It's very
00:42:44.580
much a philosophy of which I live life, which is the whole purpose of the game is to play the next
00:42:50.440
game. There's no winning. There's no outcome. There's no end. So because I play the infinite game
00:42:58.360
in life, I want to be healthy enough to continue to play the game. I can win the game of complete
00:43:04.800
pleasure for a day, a month, a year, but then I lose my ability to keep playing the game.
00:43:09.540
It's called the infinite game. It's phenomenal.
00:43:11.260
Yeah. I've heard him speak about it. I'm looking forward to it very much.
00:43:14.480
I want to go back to sort of the winter and spring of 2009. You did mention in your TED talk that,
00:43:22.000
I don't know if it was weeks later or some period later, you're at a recital for your
00:43:34.680
Many years. And there's a scene in that movie where he's dead and he's the ghost and he's
00:43:38.100
watching. He's seeing life as it's happening. And I felt like I was sitting there and it was
00:43:43.960
probably two weeks later or something. It was a very recent. And I felt like I was the ghost.
00:43:50.200
Like I was not supposed to be there. And here I'm watching my daughter and just completely bawling.
00:43:58.380
And people around me, I'm like, this is supposed to be a happy play. And I was bawling because I was
00:44:06.020
giving that gift of seeing her on that stage. And by the way, it doesn't have to be a stage.
00:44:12.840
It doesn't have to be a play. The magic of seeing your kids every day grow up, if you want to choose
00:44:18.800
to see it that way, it can be equally powerful. So it was a moment where I realized, wow, this is the
00:44:27.280
gift is to be able to watch my kids grow up. And it was centering around that of all my priorities
00:44:36.140
How did your travel schedule and your relationship with work change as a result of this? Was that a
00:44:42.600
quick change? Was it a gradual change? I remember you sat me down six years ago and showed me your
00:44:49.220
calendar. And we walked through sort of the way you ran things. Tell me a little bit more about that
00:44:56.140
Time is our only currency. It's the only thing that matters. In our civilization, we solve for wealth
00:45:03.400
first. But find any really rich person that is old or sick, and they'll trade it all for more time.
00:45:12.120
It's worth pausing on that for a moment because most people listening to this think, sure, sure,
00:45:16.820
sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's easy to say. But I've asked the following question to probably 50
00:45:22.800
patients and more than 100 people, I'm sure. And the answer is always the same, which is you ask
00:45:28.360
someone who's at the age of 40, 50, 60, would you trade places with someone who's 90 years old
00:45:36.280
in exchange for a trillion dollars? And everybody thinks about it for a second and goes, well,
00:45:42.080
no. I actually do the math. I said, well, take your age now, subtract it from the age of 90,
00:45:48.980
take that delta, divide it by the trillion. You're telling me that you value time more than this.
00:45:55.180
You could actually make a calculation and it's telling you how valuable time is to you when
00:46:00.100
phrased that way. And most people don't appreciate that. I certainly at times fail to appreciate just
00:46:05.020
how much of a premium I truly place on time. And yet, like, you know, even today before we started
00:46:09.640
this podcast, I was lamenting the fact that I agreed to take a call as a favor to somebody and it like
00:46:15.140
ate into an hour of my day. And I was sort of like, sometimes I just don't say no enough. I don't
00:46:20.380
protect time enough. And yet, if I did that calculation more, I would. So how did you
00:46:25.600
calculate that and how did you implement it? I'll tell you, but you reminded me of one of my
00:46:29.760
favorite stories. And I tell this story to kids. I go speak in a lot of middle schools and I just,
00:46:35.440
or younger kids, and they're all caught up in all this material stuff. And I say, okay,
00:46:40.180
I'm going to give you a million dollars, but you have to give me your arms. And all the kids are,
00:46:45.480
no, no, no. I'm going to give you $5 million. You're going to give me your arms and your legs.
00:46:50.700
No, no, no. I can't give you $10 million, but you're going to give me your arms, your legs,
00:46:54.700
and your eyes. And the value of the story is you're already rich because you have your health.
00:47:00.860
Money really can't buy that. So value how lucky you are. The talk is around the power of luck.
00:47:08.680
And most of the things that show up as unlucky things end up being lucky things in life if you
00:47:13.120
choose to see them that way. And so you just reminded me of that story. So listen, I waste no
00:47:18.120
time. I waste no time. I only do things that I find that are aligned to what I want to,
00:47:24.800
what I'm prioritizing or that I enjoy a lot or that put me on a path forward of what I want.
00:47:30.520
And as a result, I am really comfortable saying no all the time. I'm very thoughtful and polite.
00:47:36.560
I don't join any outside boards. I have demoted friends that I outgrew so that I can make room for
00:47:42.600
new friends. I travel light. I travel light through light because I need to figure out a way to
00:47:48.420
increase the value of my time. I have an amazing chief of staff who solves for 40% of the stuff
00:47:55.800
that I shouldn't be doing and all that stuff. So I put enough structure around me that I can be
00:48:00.680
really efficient with my time, but it's really finding always more ways to do it. But saying no
00:48:06.180
is everything. How do you say no? First of all, if someone says, Hey, would you come speak at this
00:48:13.460
event? My answer is pretty standard. I'm honored that you would ask. I'm humble that you would ask
00:48:17.680
right now. My priorities are my family and growing our company. And as it is, I don't have enough time.
00:48:24.760
Eventually I hope to have time to do things like this. And if you would have me, I would love to do
00:48:29.620
it. Does it feel bad to say no? Oh, no. Because when you're saying yes, you're saying no to something
00:48:35.220
else. So everything in life has a price. You know, it's so funny. I interviewed a good friend
00:48:40.560
of mine, Jason Freed, and he said the exact same thing, which is such a beautiful way to think
00:48:44.480
about it is every time you say yes, you're actually saying no to a number of things that you can't
00:48:48.980
anticipate between now and then. It's easy to say, oh, do you want A or B? It's hard to say you want
00:48:53.800
A or door number B and you don't know what it is. And most times we don't know. Opportunity cost is
00:48:58.500
really, it's by the way, one of the keys to business is not settling for good and waiting for great.
00:49:05.220
How many days a month do you think you traveled prior to 2009?
00:49:09.460
I went and tracked it. I was probably on the road 15 nights.
00:49:19.960
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, time away from family.
00:49:23.020
And it's literally decreased like one per year. And I track it.
00:49:28.540
This is the first year I'm going to break, but meaning I'll be less than 10 days a month away
00:49:34.000
from family. I'll average through December 31st, I'll hit 9.9.
00:49:40.960
That's the way to go. We focus on what we measure. It's just our brains are destined.
00:49:46.700
So that's what they say. It's a dream until you write it down and then it's a goal.
00:49:52.120
Do you think your kids at the time knew what happened?
00:49:56.840
Yeah. They kind of understood that something really big had happened, but it really impacted
00:50:01.240
him. My son just did a project of his identity in life. And one of the central story was this
00:50:08.000
story. I didn't even know. And he's 18, right? So it tells you how hopefully it gave him context
00:50:16.640
You said something earlier that I just thought was so incredible and I can't stop thinking
00:50:20.200
about it. This idea that Sully basically said, you are only a pilot when you lose an engine.
00:50:27.800
Like everything you've done is sort of preparation for that one defining moment of your life.
00:50:35.060
Have you thought about ways that that extrapolates to what it means to be a father, what it means to
00:50:41.380
be a husband, what it means to be a CEO? What are the equivalents of the engine losing moment when
00:50:47.480
the rubber hits the road and all that other stuff is just there to prepare you for that moment?
00:50:54.080
The easy answer on the business side is you're only a leader in a moment of crisis.
00:51:00.880
Otherwise, you're just in charge. So, and you as a leader have to prepare yourself for the moment
00:51:06.480
of crisis and it's going to come. And unfortunately, because economically we've been in such a benign,
00:51:12.460
10-year period, there's a lot of people that don't have the temperament to deal with what's coming.
00:51:18.120
Maybe in a year, maybe in three, maybe next month. It doesn't matter. It's coming. There's going to be
00:51:21.940
a year. So that's the easier one is bringing your organization along to understand that when things
00:51:28.200
change, we're going to have to lead and doing fire drills around it and doing scenario planning
00:51:33.080
around, okay, what happens if we have a data breach? What happens if we have this issue? What
00:51:37.220
happens? Like all those things we do, not constantly, but we do it enough to create consciousness
00:51:42.120
about it. And then time will tell. When the crisis comes, are you going to be able to lead or not?
00:51:48.040
I find it interesting when people call themselves leaders and they've never done anything in a time
00:51:52.780
of crisis. I'm like, oh, you're in charge. I'm not sure you're a leader yet. I think with kids,
00:51:58.000
we, like many other families, have had to deal with our share of experiences with teenagers that are
00:52:03.120
very, very hard and our kids are in a good path and they're going to be great, but it hasn't been
00:52:08.080
easy at all and has been really, and Brenda and I talk about it a lot. Not only has it united us
00:52:14.780
even stronger to help our kids through their situations, but it is, I've learned more about
00:52:20.860
myself through being a dad because hard driving people like you and I think we know. And what you
00:52:26.960
realize is that your key of being a father or mother is to find their gift and then to help them
00:52:34.320
get to their gift and accept them for their strengths and their weaknesses. And the last thing
00:52:40.220
you want a kid to feel is shame. And when we want something different for our kids than what they seem
00:52:48.380
to want, there's a high chance you end up shaming them without wanting to or guilting them.
00:52:53.260
So I think for a parent to lead is to meet the kid where they are and finding their natural bent
00:53:03.240
and encouraging it and making them their various version of themselves. And that was not apparent
00:53:09.200
to me when I signed up for this. This has been with two teenagers that are super gifted and super
00:53:14.680
kind, but they are teenagers and they have to deal with a lot of stuff. You and I didn't have to deal
00:53:19.580
and it's not easy. I'm dreading every second of it, truthfully, because I do think kids today
00:53:24.320
live in a world, maybe every parent says that. Maybe my parents felt the same way. Who knows? But
00:53:29.380
I think it's, I think it looks brutal to be a teenager today.
00:53:34.120
Maybe what I'm telling you is that you're going to have to grow up a lot to be able to do that well.
00:53:38.860
That's what we've seeked a lot of help and it's been great. And we have dug in and we've done a lot
00:53:45.380
of research and we tried a lot of things that haven't worked and it's a real commitment. And
00:53:50.360
by the way, we're not out of the woods yet. It's a, it's a, well, I mean, I'm just going to get
00:53:54.920
incredibly selfish for a moment and just ask for some advice. So how do you handle things like
00:54:00.200
electronics and social media? Like what have you learned? And this doesn't necessarily have to be
00:54:04.220
at the expense of your own relationship with your kids, but even from other parents, again,
00:54:08.280
you have a company of thousands of employees. You have a purview into the lives of more than just your
00:54:13.560
own. What advice do you give parents who are trying to think through those issues? I'll tell
00:54:18.320
you an anecdote. So last week, my daughter's school had a trip to Disneyland and my daughter is one of
00:54:23.300
the few kids in her class that does not have a smartphone or a cell phone at all. So most of the
00:54:27.720
kids do and they're driving up and it's my wife and another mom that are driving up in sort of the
00:54:32.740
minivan and there's the four kids are in the back and three of them have a phone and my daughter
00:54:37.500
gets my wife's phone and they're playing with it. And at one point my wife looks back and she says,
00:54:41.200
all four of them are glued to the phones. They're not talking, they're not interacting at all. It's
00:54:46.120
like a road trip and they're all glued to these phones. And so she sort of says, hey guys, let's
00:54:50.620
put the phones away and you guys got to do something. You got to talk, you got to play a
00:54:53.960
game, you got to whatever. Okay, well, extract that moment for a second and you realize there is a lot
00:55:00.500
of stuff that they're missing. And you could argue, look, maybe they're getting things we didn't
00:55:04.220
get that were better for them. Who knows? But to see the lack of basic socialization concerns me.
00:55:10.440
How do you, or what advice do you have to navigate that?
00:55:14.760
I don't have better advice than others. I think kids should be kids, meaning parents should decide
00:55:20.600
what are the controls. You don't give kid a remote to the TV and say, do whatever you want. I think
00:55:26.880
my mom said, which I love, raising teenagers is a tug of war you ultimately must lose because that's
00:55:32.880
how they become adults. So there has to be enough tension. You can't lose at 13. It's at 19. They have,
00:55:39.180
but you have to be losing incrementally. Yeah. You can't be winning and then lose. So it's a tug
00:55:44.000
of war that you're the resistance. So you also have to think about it kid specific. Every kid is
00:55:48.660
different, age specific, but you also don't want them to be the misfit. You also don't want them to
00:55:54.360
be missing out. And we kind of tend to project our reality into others. They're going to live in a
00:55:59.740
world where your kids are probably never going to drive. Your kids are going to live with probably not
00:56:06.420
even a cell phone. They're going to see screens in their glasses. They're going to do all this stuff
00:56:10.640
that you can't even understand. They're going to live in a mix of a VR world and a real world.
00:56:16.700
You want your kid to be able to be successful, happy, settle, whatever it is, your goal in that
00:56:21.880
world, not in 1982 of the VHS. So you also got to remind yourself that this is a-
00:56:30.100
And, you know, I find very interesting. I have this conversation with lots of friends. If you ask
00:56:34.520
anybody, what is your goal for your kid? They'll tell you some version of the same thing. Happy,
00:56:40.060
well-adjusted, contributing, growing, finding their passion, whatever BS we'll talk. And we mean it.
00:56:46.680
But then you watch the way we raise kids is overschedule, two sports, a trainer, a this,
00:56:54.380
that, another coach, pre-SAT, pre-SAT, pre-this, take it six times. Did that really help?
00:57:00.380
That stressing kids out to that extent, they're like, oh, why are they so stressed? Well,
00:57:03.780
we're making them super stressed. This culture is stressful enough. And I think as parents, we
00:57:07.720
judge so much of our own self-esteem by what others think about our kids that we fail to
00:57:13.740
understand what really is our goal. If you really want your kid to be happy, adjusted, whatever,
00:57:18.300
you would do a lot of things differently. So back to your question of just remind yourself,
00:57:22.920
what is it that you're trying to do? And try to align to that.
00:57:26.480
It's a great point you make about, you know, I was telling you a story before we started about my
00:57:30.960
son and that moment I had in that experience where I realized, man, how is it that I've let my ego
00:57:37.140
become tied up in his behavior? How is it that how he behaves in public as a five-year-old and when he
00:57:43.880
has a temper tantrum, I somehow internalize that as people are looking at me as a bad parent. I mean,
00:57:48.860
it's, it feels so silly to even say that out loud, but I don't think I'm the first person
00:57:54.360
that's felt that. And that gets carried forward. I think that is such a big part of the overscheduling
00:58:01.320
overdoing it. It's hard. We make so many mistakes ourselves and we look at each other. I'm like,
00:58:06.020
what are we doing? Like, it's a long race. I do believe, I think it was outliers or whatever,
00:58:11.300
but I do believe that the more you make kids feel comfortable and successful in the race they're on,
00:58:16.980
we judge ourselves against a relative set. So put kids in situations that they feel like they
00:58:22.260
are progressing and they'll find whatever their ceiling is in the long, long enough time.
00:58:29.100
So many kids quit sports because we push them too hard, too early. And they're like,
00:58:33.440
this doesn't feel good. This has produced no endorphins at all in the country. Right? So
00:58:39.200
I think a lot of the issues with kids in this age is the parents, not the kids. And we want to
00:58:44.600
blame electronics and all this stuff that are issues. But the issue is really that I don't
00:58:49.400
think we're that honest as parents in terms of our goals and our actions.
00:58:53.800
Why do you think that has changed in a generation? I mean, you've spoken a little bit about your
00:58:58.600
parents and it's kind of amazing, right? So they seem to be wise beyond their years. Your mom's
00:59:04.400
comment about the tug of war that has to slowly be lost is honestly one of the most insightful
00:59:10.780
things I've ever heard about parenting. Were your parents as educated as you are?
00:59:15.280
I was born in a Latin family and my dad is an amazing guy, but my mom raised us four kids in
00:59:20.120
six years. And I think that the definition of one's life success is where do you come from and
00:59:26.300
where did you end? Did you help advance the cost of our race, the human race? And you do that
00:59:32.360
through your family first. And if you're lucky enough through your community, if you're lucky
00:59:35.580
enough in a broader way, like you who are impacting a broader set of people. But I think the ultimately
00:59:41.160
goal of life is to make it better for others, starting with your kids. And I think my mom is the
00:59:47.060
most successful person I know because of what she was given versus what she gave us.
00:59:52.180
How old were you guys when you left Puerto Rico?
00:59:53.900
I came to the U.S. to go to college. So I came to Boston College in January of 1990.
01:00:01.700
Okay. What was that like to show up in Boston at 18 or whatever you were?
01:00:06.780
Ignorance is a wonderful bliss. If I knew what I did not know, I would have never come.
01:00:13.760
I really think that ignorance is a bliss. I showed up as a second semester freshman because it was the
01:00:18.500
year after Doug Flutie and there were no dorms. And my parents are like, we're not paying for an
01:00:22.580
apartment. So I came as a second semester freshman and they put me on a plane. They gave me 200 bucks.
01:00:27.200
My dad said, go be a man. And I got on a plane. I didn't even know how to go to the gate by myself.
01:00:32.840
Traveled a few times out of Puerto Rico. And what I realized as soon as I got to Boston is I didn't really
01:00:37.980
understand English and I was ill-equipped to go to college. But overcoming that was the greatest gift.
01:00:43.620
Why did you go so far into such a cold place? Why didn't you go to school in Florida, for example?
01:00:47.980
I don't know. My uncle said, Boston is great. So I said, Boston is great. Doug Flutie said,
01:00:53.620
I was raised in a Catholic school. So Boston College was Catholic. So I just,
01:00:58.500
I landed. I'm like, what in the world is this? And I ended up in the freshman camp.
01:01:03.160
Because you said second semester. So it's winter when you showed up.
01:01:05.440
And I showed up five days before anybody. I had 200 bucks and I have lots of stories of like
01:01:10.380
completely embarrassing things that happened as I went through this. And because I was ill-equipped,
01:01:15.920
I was a misfit in every regard. And I never faced racism, which I did at the time. I faced all sorts
01:01:21.320
of things that I'm glad I did. Because it made me a lot more aware of what other people go through.
01:01:26.340
What had your parents or your mom even specifically done to prepare you for that moment?
01:01:36.300
Did the two above you leave Puerto Rico for college?
01:01:39.520
My brother, one above, is in Kansas City as a doctor. And my sister went and then came back.
01:01:53.880
I think I gave him something in Spanglish and he wrote them and I got in.
01:02:01.780
If so, we'll find somebody to give you an honorary one instead.
01:02:04.900
Tell me about the remainder of those three and a half years though.
01:02:07.280
Obviously, it set you on a good path and you decided to stay.
01:02:10.400
Yeah. I came here wanting to go back to Puerto Rico and halfway through and I'm like,
01:02:13.780
I love this country. I love what this is about.
01:02:16.260
I worked at Fenway Park as a security guard. I drove a limo in the summers.
01:02:20.360
So, I was hustling, making money. My dad said, I'll pay a third. You get loans for a third.
01:02:25.280
And I had an academic scholarship for a third, but you're responsible for your own money.
01:02:29.280
So, it was the greatest thing. Yet, I don't know why I wouldn't do that to my kids.
01:02:34.840
Do you think about that? Do you think about your story of coming here as an immigrant having nothing
01:02:40.340
is a story that many people can relate to. And because of your success, your kids have a privilege
01:02:46.180
that you've never had. How do you think about imparting on them some of the, I don't know if
01:02:53.560
lessons is the right word, or internal fortitude, or whatever, call it what you want to call it.
01:03:00.180
I actually think about it almost the inverse of what you said. I think it's really hard to
01:03:05.320
be our kids. I think we're giving them, not privilege, we're giving them a big, big cross
01:03:12.380
to carry. And I feel a lot of responsibility for not bearing so much of a shadow that my kids can't
01:03:20.380
find their own son. And we travel, we travel in certain ways, and whatever. What are you setting
01:03:24.840
our kids up for? I think it's really hard. It's a lot easier to grow up the way I did, which
01:03:29.820
I can do better. I think it's harder. And you have to set up a different game. You have to set
01:03:35.040
up a game that they feel they can win. And you have to get them thinking about the infinite game
01:03:40.380
of there's no end here. That's why so many of them end up in drugs and end up in other things,
01:03:44.620
because they say, that's not something I can be successful at.
01:03:47.560
First of all, I actually think you're correct. I think both of the statements are correct. So
01:03:51.860
it's harder and easier, and that the hardness and easiness are actually coexisting and creating
01:03:57.980
that dynamic. So you can't dim your own light. I mean, as you said, especially someone like you,
01:04:05.460
who's been kind of given this gift. We haven't even got to talking about Red Ventures, which I want to
01:04:09.180
in a minute. You can't not be Rick Elias. So how can they be your kids?
01:04:14.960
I think, first of all, it's not what you say, it's what you do. I work really, really hard. I want them
01:04:21.700
to understand that working hard is part of the way you achieve things in life. To me,
01:04:28.560
I don't have any issues with that. And as long as it's protecting our family time and what matters
01:04:33.520
to us, I think secondly, is how you treat other people. The best thing that you can do to teach
01:04:40.180
your kids how to live is to treat strangers with kindness. They're watching your every action.
01:04:46.460
They're watching. And by the way, you are a teacher all the time and not with your words because they
01:04:53.440
won't hear you, but with your actions. So every time you find yourself, which we all do, getting
01:04:58.320
upset about something with a driver or a waitress because something was cold or a manager because
01:05:03.600
they made you wait and you get a little righteous, which we all do, you're doing the opposite. You're
01:05:10.020
teaching them a behavior that is not going to help them. So I view our responsibility. The best thing I
01:05:15.440
can do is model hard work, model giving and kindness, model good energy to other people,
01:05:21.220
respect. We're lucky to know a lot of people that others will consider super famous. And I treat them
01:05:26.100
exactly the same way that a stranger that is doing whatever job and they see that. So those are the
01:05:32.240
things, the only things you can do. You can't apologize for your success and you can't run away
01:05:36.160
from it, but you have to talk to them about not, Hey, I want you to get into an Ivy league school and I
01:05:42.980
want you to do all this stuff. I, you know, I want you to find your gift and I want you to figure out
01:05:48.520
a way to give that gift to others. Again, that's a, I think that's so well said.
01:05:53.580
It's hard. And I'm, this is not a perfect journey, right? We're full of flaws in it.
01:05:57.960
Were you ever a person that struggled to apologize before 2009? And if so, is it easier for you to
01:06:04.920
It was very hard. I'm very proud. I'm very competitive in those two things. And I can rationalize
01:06:10.300
anything as to why I was right. You know what, Peter, I apologize for things. I don't even know
01:06:15.140
what I did because I don't give a shit. If it's creating negative energy, I can really easily say,
01:06:20.320
listen, I am really sorry I offended you. It was not my intent. That's it. Move on. And I don't seek
01:06:26.400
to understand and argue the counter argument. I was like, does this really matter? Am I going to
01:06:30.620
remember it in six months? Is it going to change anything? Just move on. It's like a leakage of
01:06:36.380
energy. And when you leak energy, it consumes time. And that's your only currency. Imagine if
01:06:41.780
you were like your toilet was running of a hundred dollar bills nonstop. Like that's the
01:06:49.820
You know, you probably have the longest list of anybody I know of things that don't matter.
01:06:55.240
What is on your list of things that do matter? What is worth fighting for? What is worth being
01:07:00.560
Those are two different questions. So that's why I might pause things that matter and things worth
01:07:04.640
being upset about. I think injustice is worth being upset about.
01:07:09.000
And obviously, based on everything you've said, it's not about your own injustice. When the Uber
01:07:12.720
driver doesn't show up and when the waitress spills your soup, that's not injustice.
01:07:16.900
It's, as you know, I'm attracted to places where the system fails people that can't help themselves,
01:07:23.660
that want to help themselves. That's kind of our sweet spot in all our social impact work.
01:07:29.820
I think to whom much is given, much is expected. And I think the best way to do
01:07:34.420
any type of social impact work is using your platform, not just using your wallet, if you
01:07:40.460
can. And so here I am, I have a thriving company with a lot of young people that are exceptional.
01:07:46.540
How do I put them to do something that matters to them, which is give back, thickens our culture,
01:07:52.580
but also allows us to do something that gives us a real purpose, which is leaving our woodpile
01:07:58.040
higher than we found it. That's what we talk about as a company. That's the only purpose of the
01:08:01.440
company. We're not going to go public. We're not going to sell. This is the infinite game. Someday
01:08:06.620
you'll go to zero. Hopefully someone else is running it. This is a way that we spend our energy
01:08:11.040
together, the people we work with and the problems we solve and all of that. So when you put it in
01:08:16.260
that context of none of this really ultimately matters other than advancing the game, I am attracted
01:08:21.640
to injustices where the system is not working. I'll give you an example will be undocumented kids.
01:08:26.720
They're known as DACA now and the Supreme Court is hearing the case. And these are kids that were
01:08:32.400
brought here without two years old, four-year-old, six-year-old illegally. The parents brought them
01:08:37.460
here illegally, but we don't check education for primary school, secondary school, or high school.
01:08:43.200
So many of these kids don't even know Spanish or whatever the language is. They never really
01:08:47.420
remember being in their country. And by the time they get to 18, we said, sorry, you can't go to
01:08:51.940
college. There's no federal financial aid because they're not citizens. And then there is no in-state
01:08:57.780
tuition in about 26 states. So their chances of going to college are basically zero. And I'm not
01:09:02.340
talking there's like thousands of these. There was about a million of these in 2010. Kids that were
01:09:08.120
zero to 18 that were investing all this money. So even if you want to take the Republican side of
01:09:12.840
this, which is a valid argument, they're going to be a lot more productive if you educate them.
01:09:17.240
That's the whole reason to do this. So they'll pay a lot more taxes. So DACA is, Obama passes
01:09:22.660
his executive order where he says, okay, if you graduate college and you are undocumented and you're
01:09:27.320
within these ages, you can get a work permit. So now going to college makes sense because it used
01:09:31.620
to be that you got an education. There was no way to get a job. And that's what's getting debated
01:09:37.300
right now. There's like 600,000 of these kids with work permits. We have about, I don't know,
01:09:43.280
probably 50 of them working at Red Ventures right now. So what I did is-
01:09:49.420
But we have 300 plus going through college that we're supporting. So Golden Doors College got
01:09:54.700
launched. We did our first class of 12, then 17, then 25, then 30. We're now reviewing applicants
01:10:00.760
for the next class. And this is the first time we're using non-doc. I said, if you're undocumented,
01:10:06.080
we're going to take a stance for you. And if you deserve to go to college, you are going to go.
01:10:10.460
Our top 200 candidates, Peter, 3.91 unweighted GPA. Unweighted. Think about the waste of talent.
01:10:20.060
Tell me what happens to those kids if they don't go to college.
01:10:22.700
They end up working in a fast food place or just waste time. Many times they don't even find a job
01:10:29.460
Do they ever go back to the country that they were born in?
01:10:34.140
They're American. A lot of them don't find out that they're undocumented until they go take a
01:10:38.540
driver's license or something. They're like, you can't. It's very, very cruel for these kids. And
01:10:43.740
they're your kids' friends. And they're as American as our kids are. I find those kids did not commit a
01:10:50.120
crime. Those kids did not have a choice to move here at two years old. Those kids have done everything
01:10:54.680
we've asked them of the system. What is this country all about? Isn't this the country where
01:10:58.860
if you want to put in the work, we give you a chance? And so I find that to be a place that
01:11:04.060
we put a lot of energy towards. 18 to 24, there's about five and a half million young adults in the
01:11:09.860
U.S. These are not undocumented. These are citizens. Out of school or out of work, terminally
01:11:16.260
underemployed. Five and a half million. And I think companies can do a lot more for them. So we set up a
01:11:22.580
501c3 called Road to Hire, where we're training these kids in coding, in tech, back tech, and all this
01:11:28.720
stuff. And we're now opening the platform for the companies. So B of A and Novant and other
01:11:33.540
companies in Charlotte are literally hiring these kids. We train them. It's an adulting school for
01:11:38.000
six months. And we pay them to adult them. We train them skills. And then we'll put them in a
01:11:41.940
two-year apprenticeship program. And we hold our hands for two years. We have another program called
01:11:46.700
Live Sports. Eighth graders in Title I schools in Charlotte are two years behind on reading.
01:11:54.200
Charlotte is probably no different than other places. Title I schools is assisted lunch.
01:11:57.840
And our belief is that hope has an expiration date. And that expiration date, educationally,
01:12:04.200
comes about that age. And sports is a universal language. So we have basketball, soccer, girls
01:12:11.740
basketball, where we bring these kids in out of the worst schools every day. We give them usually
01:12:17.100
their last meal of the day. We give them an hour worth of reading because we think if they can catch
01:12:21.560
up with reading, they'll extend their hope. And then we give them an hour and a half worth of
01:12:25.200
exercise. Every weekend, there's activities. We have 250 kids now in the program. We started it
01:12:29.540
two and a half years ago. We're going to grow it. We're going to build our own facility. So
01:12:31.700
we're just trying to do our part. Like, it's our drops in the water, but they matter. And then for
01:12:36.960
me, it mattered after Hurricane Maria that I did something for Puerto Rico. So we launched
01:12:41.240
7-8 forward, 7-8-7. That's the area code. So we're training. Right now, we're training about 70
01:12:47.040
young Puerto Ricans in the U.S. that we want to reverse the brain drain. So we're going to bring them
01:12:51.800
back. We're giving them real digital chops. And we're going to move businesses to Puerto Rico so
01:12:56.600
that we can bring people back to Puerto Rico. I want to go back to the first of those because
01:13:01.200
you're not a dogmatic guy. You're not a self-righteous guy. You're a very empathetic person.
01:13:09.140
Help me see my blind spot, which is like you. Well, no, no, you're one ahead of me. I'm first
01:13:15.000
generation. So my parents came to the country with the $100 in the pocket sort of thing, worked like
01:13:20.500
crazy and now we get to live this better life. And because I saw a lot of that, I never really
01:13:25.880
understood the sentiment against immigration. Now, part of that is because I grew up in Canada. So
01:13:31.200
Canada, very different from the United States on many levels. If you were to try to explain
01:13:37.040
from the standpoint of empathy, what do you think is the view that sort of opposes immigration or
01:13:43.560
opposes immigration reform? Because even though you're very clearly on this side, you strike me as
01:13:49.600
someone who can also see the other person's viewpoint. I think immigration is one of the
01:13:53.520
hardest issues for us to contend because philosophically, this is a country of immigrants.
01:13:59.700
Practically, this is a country that has lots of issues with its own people. So this is not an easy
01:14:05.500
answer that you say, okay, here's the solution to immigration. And anything that we as a country
01:14:10.700
decide as a policy will have pros and cons. So I don't tend to profess that we need to have
01:14:17.840
immigration and we need to have immigration reform and we need to have better controls and we need
01:14:22.460
to figure out what we do with 10 million immigrants. By the way, if we take all the illegal immigrants
01:14:27.580
out of this country, we will not function because so many jobs that get done today that you and I
01:14:33.920
rely directly and indirectly, no one wants to do. Our unemployment rate is sub 4%. So it's not like we
01:14:41.080
have 18% unemployment rate and a line of people who want to do these jobs and immigrants are doing them
01:14:45.740
for half the money. No. There's no people that are sitting waiting to do a job and these jobs no one
01:14:52.540
wants to do. So I think this, we underestimate, but it's a real issue. And I think we have to deal
01:14:58.700
with those 10 million people. I think kids should be dealt with separately. These are the DACA kids.
01:15:04.760
And by the way, both Republicans and Democrats agree on the undocumented kids, but they don't want to
01:15:09.340
give it up because then you give up all immigration issue. Meaning it's the thin end of the wedge
01:15:14.420
towards a slippery slope of this. Right. And so that's what the argument has been. Well, I'll give
01:15:19.360
you that, but if we do this and I don't know if the answer is a wall or no wall, I'm not educated
01:15:23.460
enough. We need controls. We need smart immigration. We need, you know, the fact that we have all these
01:15:29.240
PhDs that we're educating at Stanford and all these places, and then we're sending them back when they
01:15:33.960
want to stay here. That doesn't make sense. Right. But it's not an easy answer. And there's a really
01:15:38.740
good argument to say, listen, we can't take our resources and you open up the gate with Mexico
01:15:44.020
and you have tens of millions of people from Central America and all that coming in. We
01:15:48.180
don't have our house in order enough to be able to absorb that as much of a humanitarian as you want
01:15:53.340
to be. But there should be a thoughtful way that we allow different types of people to come.
01:15:59.280
And some decisions could be very easy, which is any PhD out of our system. Some can be very
01:16:04.820
humanitarian. We're going to bring in this amount of people. Some of them can be very thoughtful in
01:16:09.860
terms of skills, but everything I get, I don't know enough, but there can be a lot around work
01:16:13.700
permits. Like the problem here is that it's an underground, it's an underworld. If you brought
01:16:19.360
it above board and, you know, about five years ago, maybe six years ago, I visited you at Red Ventures
01:16:25.740
and I got to spend a full day watching something you call the business review. I don't know why
01:16:32.320
I came for that, but I knew I was really looking forward to it. We must've been speaking about the
01:16:38.280
way you manage teams. I think it just interested the heck out of me. And I was like, can I come and
01:16:44.120
spend a day watching? And you were like, of course, we'd be honored to have you. I'll preface this by
01:16:49.340
saying, I don't have a degree in business. You went to Harvard, you have an MBA, but I was around a
01:16:54.800
lot of Harvard MBAs and Stanford MBAs and stuff because I worked at McKinsey. So I know, I mean,
01:16:58.900
I've been around the block. I can talk the talk a little bit and I mean, they at least know enough
01:17:02.380
to recognize when people know what they're talking about. I have never seen anything like I saw that
01:17:08.300
day, Rick, your ability to process information, to multitask, to make decisions, to sift through
01:17:18.280
what was not relevant and to always be asking the jugular question in the setting and context of
01:17:24.920
more information than could be processed by any person blew my mind. And to this day,
01:17:31.300
more than five years later, I still talk about that day constantly. And when I ran into Dan,
01:17:37.600
your partner, your co-founder, a few months ago, it was the first thing I asked him about. How are
01:17:42.960
the business reviews? Can you explain to people listening how this idea came about? Because I
01:17:50.440
suspect that anybody who leads a team in any domain will find this to be illuminating.
01:17:56.660
Yeah. First, I am humbled by your words. I'm not really sure that I buy all of that. I think that
01:18:01.740
I heard a quote that I love in life. There's two kinds of people. I heard it recently from a good
01:18:06.960
friend of mine, the humble and those that are about to be humbled. I think our journey was such a struggle
01:18:14.420
for the first four years. I don't know if you remember, we raised $2 million. And by November,
01:18:18.960
we had no revenues and a hundred grand left. And it took us three years to get back to zero. So
01:18:23.440
when you taste your own blood for a long enough period of time, you realize that a lot of this is
01:18:29.440
you got to fight the fight and you got to stay with it and you have to stay hungry. And a lot of this
01:18:34.420
for me is avoiding complacency and all the things that end up killing most organizations.
01:18:43.320
You basically tasted death on January 15th, 2009, and you tasted death a few years earlier
01:18:50.700
Yeah. And for me, I gave my word to my friends that I was going to do all I could. And I wanted
01:18:58.040
to go to my reunions. I decided we're going to hustle and we hustle. And by the way, I am so glad.
01:19:03.420
It's such a rich part of who we are, the humility that you see in our building. We have this beautiful
01:19:08.780
campus, but I see car payments, but people see success and stuff. So the business reviews have
01:19:14.940
evolved and continue to evolve. One of our basic, and you know that I don't-
01:19:18.160
Maybe tell folks for a moment what Red Ventures does, even though I don't think that's relevant
01:19:21.320
to the story. I think if you were running any business, it would be the same way, but just
01:19:24.840
So it's changed twice since you were there, but today we are a significant network of digital assets
01:19:31.880
that all have deep integrations into the different service providers. So we are trying to aggregate lots
01:19:38.040
of services that consumer price by owning assets like the point sky or bank rate of all connect or
01:19:44.500
health lines. So we have about 130 million uniques every month into our network of assets. And then
01:19:49.740
we do very deep integrations with all the services providers, all the card issuers, all the banks,
01:19:56.180
everybody in healthcare, and basically trying to change the consumer experience digitally.
01:20:00.680
That's a very different business than we were when you were there kind of five years ago.
01:20:04.520
I don't know if you remember, but I don't believe that business should be run with values. And I
01:20:10.380
had this really interesting debate with Meg Whitman at the same event we were at.
01:20:15.600
Yeah. And she's a much more accomplished CEO than I will ever be and all of that. And she,
01:20:19.480
we were talking about culture and she said, hey, it's all about your values. And then they asked me
01:20:23.080
and I said, well, to me, values is a noun. And I don't know how to run a business with nouns. I know
01:20:28.620
how to run them with verbs. So we have a set of belief statements. By the way, we're not right,
01:20:32.880
just the way that we choose to use the word, but we have a series of belief statements that anchor
01:20:37.600
our culture. And in the middle of that belief statement, the core one in the middle is everything
01:20:42.560
is written in pencil. It's a wonderful belief statement because it helps us recruit. If you're
01:20:47.980
somebody who wants certainty, you want all this stuff, you're never going to fit in. It allows us
01:20:52.760
to evolve and change our mind because the world is changing so fast. So we're not anchor. And then
01:20:58.540
it really gives us permission to experiment because everything is written in pencil. The last one is
01:21:04.320
we believe that our leaving the wood power, then we found that is our purpose. So that's the...
01:21:08.700
Give us some of the others. The first one is we believe in running up the escalators.
01:21:12.200
So that means that business have to play with pace. This is not about speed, speed, speed. This is
01:21:17.040
about pace. The more reps you get, the more you iterate through problems. And business review is an
01:21:22.920
example of a place that forces reps. And what that means is how do you organize your organizational
01:21:28.400
design? How do you compensate people? All those things really, really matter. Running a company
01:21:33.560
is really like an orchestra. There's no right way. There's no perfect song as long as the orchestra
01:21:39.560
is in harmony. Where you get in trouble is where there's dissonance in the orchestra and you see
01:21:44.240
instruments kind of going their own way. So for us, it's really important that we're playing at a high
01:21:49.440
space. That doesn't mean we work till 7 p.m. every night, but we work hard. We're very purposeful.
01:21:53.860
We're small teams. We're decisive. We're okay. Most things in business are pass-fail, yet we are
01:22:00.640
trained our whole lives for grades. And I think where a lot of leaders get in trouble is this is why
01:22:06.020
people have a hard time prioritizing. This is a pass-fail event. I'll put in 20% of the effort.
01:22:10.820
I just pass. So in the business, really understanding what's pass-fail and what's graded is a really
01:22:15.660
important kind of skill. And you do that when it's pass-fail, you just run up the escalator.
01:22:21.340
So that will be another example. We're great people to work with. We believe that we want to
01:22:24.740
be great people to work with. And I think diversity really matters in a company because you make better
01:22:29.400
decisions. People not only feel accepted, they feel welcome. It is a way that it is important. But I
01:22:35.600
think what diversity does, it lends the opportunity to create inclusion. And if you think about a lot of
01:22:41.520
our social impact work and all of this, it's about creating inclusion for people that are not getting
01:22:45.720
access to certain opportunities that we were lucky to have. So being great to work with is to being
01:22:50.840
very, very much attuned that we all bring something unique to the company and to the table and so forth.
01:22:56.680
But since they're all written in pencil, they're all going to change.
01:22:59.180
So explain how business review works. I know it has changed, by the way, but even the example of the
01:23:03.720
one I saw, not that you could possibly remember that day five years ago or whatever, but you were
01:23:08.360
basically in a room and you sat at a conference table and there were business leaders basically
01:23:15.780
all presenting to you. And what was the format? How did it work?
01:23:19.420
It's 20 minute meetings. No charts are passed, nothing in color, none of that. A couple of
01:23:25.860
charts on the screen are fine, but you got to be able to get to your point.
01:23:29.200
Right. No big PowerPoint decks were being passed out.
01:23:31.840
No. And you had to start the meeting. Okay, here's the problem we're trying to solve,
01:23:35.920
or here's what we're trying to talk about. Like you have to define your problem and then you went
01:23:40.360
through it and then we concluded with something. So there's many ways to organize meetings. Amazon
01:23:45.000
does it with, you got to write something. I think it's five pages and you come prepared to the
01:23:48.920
meeting. There's no right way of doing anything as long as people understand how you are going to
01:23:54.200
calibrate work. But the pace of this was like nothing I'd ever seen because I remember when I was
01:24:00.480
getting ready to come forward and I wanted to sort of be mindful of what I was about to see. So I could,
01:24:04.900
if nothing, participate by asking a question that could be helpful. I remember them saying,
01:24:09.480
okay, so it's, uh, I forget the numbers, 27 meetings. And I was like, well, what do you mean
01:24:15.380
27 meetings? And they said, they're 20 minutes each. It's a 10 hour day. You know, there's an
01:24:19.500
hour break in there and we keep it. Everybody understands the clock. There is no, you play to
01:24:24.660
the clock. One person would stand up there and explain some problem about, Hey, we're doing this
01:24:29.120
deal with AT&T and it's got to look like this and it's got to look like this, but boy, we can't get
01:24:32.740
this deal done because blah, blah, blah, blah. And you would ask five incredibly pointed questions.
01:24:37.580
And I was like, wow, I mean, that's amazing because 10 minutes earlier, you were hearing
01:24:42.700
about something totally unrelated and you could pivot so quickly to this. And then you'd exit
01:24:48.060
with a plan, which is okay. Great. Here's an idea. You're going to go back to your counterpart
01:24:51.640
at AT&T. This is going to be the idea you're going to pitch. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
01:24:56.740
Let me open a window that I think it's an interesting thing. I learned this from a good friend of mine
01:25:00.400
that anything you do in life should be a threefer, meaning at least a threefer. Some things can be
01:25:05.380
a fourfer. And most people are happy to get a twofer. And what I mean is you can do something
01:25:09.340
that has many purposes. The quick example is you're going to go play golf because you play
01:25:13.500
golf. That's a onefer. If you go play golf at a beautiful course, that's a twofer at a beautiful
01:25:17.980
course with your best friends and with great weather. Great. So in business, the business review
01:25:22.360
is a fourfer for us. It's a way to force prioritization. It's a way to train people how to
01:25:32.960
Your team was so impressive. You're absolutely right about that. I've watched people. I mean,
01:25:36.760
I am a real stickler for having information presented and it just kills me to watch people
01:25:41.960
who can't get to the point. And there was not one example in 27 meetings of somebody who couldn't get
01:25:48.860
I think our strength is there's 2,025 year olds at Red Ventures that have been trained at a level
01:25:55.680
because of all this exercise that it's great. It's the best business school for a lot of these
01:25:59.980
young adults. The third is it forces decision making. A lot of those things were tough decisions
01:26:05.600
and the worst decision is a no decision. So it forces decision. And the fourth is that it
01:26:10.800
acculturates. So it's a very much, there were teaching moments. There were things that happened.
01:26:16.160
You shut up with certain things, some things. So I'd like to set up as an organization,
01:26:21.780
if we're going to invest that kind of energy and time, something that has currency in many
01:26:27.240
How did you sharpen your sword to get to that point? Is it literally just the reps?
01:26:31.480
It's reps. Intuition is nothing else. I haven't seen something before. And when you start getting
01:26:36.180
all this pattern recognitions because you've seen so many times the movie and the key is not to see
01:26:41.280
the movie, Peter, I think is to be introspective about what happened in the movie. So a lot of times
01:26:46.720
I'll finish a negotiation and I'm like, oh, I screwed that up. I did not read that cue.
01:26:51.560
I was too aggressive. Last night I had a dinner and it was really great. In the last five minutes,
01:26:55.760
I fumbled it. As soon as I got in the car, I'm like, what did you just do?
01:26:59.820
I don't want to make you talk too much about it, but can you say a little bit more about what it
01:27:04.460
When you do a lot of interpersonal skills, the other person is talking to you nonstop without words.
01:27:10.800
And a lot of this is knowing when you stop. In my last two statements,
01:27:15.180
I lost some of the memento I got with the other 55 minutes and I just knew it in their eyes. That
01:27:21.960
doesn't matter, right? That's just part of the journey. So my point being is you got to be super,
01:27:27.880
self-awareness is really important in life. Self-management is the key to success.
01:27:33.120
Most people are like, I'm self-aware. Well, can you self-regulate? Can you self-manage? Can you think
01:27:37.060
about all the things you think about and you teach around longevity and nutrition and all that? It's the
01:27:41.500
self-management part of that that matters. I would take it one step further. I mean,
01:27:45.480
I think the self-management on the emotional level might be the single most important of them all.
01:27:49.660
To manage how you eat and exercise, I think is much easier than to manage
01:27:53.780
your thoughts and your emotions in terms of how you interact with the world.
01:27:58.220
That's so true. Yesterday morning, I had a negotiation. Someone flew in before I came to
01:28:02.680
New York and he was a pro. And the moment he sat down, I'm like, oh, this is going to be a good one.
01:28:07.080
And he was a master chess player. So I knew every time they asked something, he wasn't asking
01:28:12.200
something. So you're constantly going, okay, what's the question behind the question? What
01:28:15.820
is it that you're trying to angle? What is it you're trying to find? And good negotiation is when
01:28:20.760
you can find currency that they value more than you do. And then you find a way to make it work
01:28:25.680
for everybody. When someone is a very good negotiator and they're trying to do that, then you can almost
01:28:30.860
play the inverse game. It's like, can you create an impression of something so that you can create
01:28:35.360
value for something so that you can get something else? And then you're reading what they're doing.
01:28:39.420
Do you teach this deliberately to your teams? Because I got to tell you, I don't think that
01:28:44.960
reps alone are sufficient. In other words, you could put me into a hundred deals to negotiate.
01:28:50.440
I don't think I could ever extract the insights that you seem to extract. I think you're doing
01:28:55.720
something at a meta level that few of us do, which is, it's what you said. It's not just seeing the
01:29:00.480
movie. It's knowing what the movie means and knowing how to recreate pieces of the movie in
01:29:07.220
subsequent movies. That's a totally different skill. I don't have it. I know that for a fact.
01:29:11.160
To start, by the way, I don't think I'm great at it. I think there's much better people. So this is
01:29:15.280
a journey that there's always someone better than you. So I'm in this constant journey and want to
01:29:18.960
get better. Out of all this aspect, so the moment you think, I'd finish negotiations,
01:29:23.940
discussions were like, oh, there was a pro at the table and it wasn't me.
01:29:30.100
Like, oh, that was a masterful event. It was happening. You kind of laugh, but when you're
01:29:35.720
so attuned to it, every interaction is a game of influence with your kids, with your spouse,
01:29:41.540
with everything else. And it's not a negotiation. Negotiation means someone wins, someone loses.
01:29:46.520
You're constantly trying to influence with your thoughts and then you're allowing other people
01:29:49.800
to influence you. What type of person do you run from in business?
01:29:58.960
What are the telltale signs of that? Because when that's obvious, those people usually don't
01:30:02.640
even get in the door. What are the subtle signs of that?
01:30:10.360
Yes, but it's the subtlety on when you say it. Are you taking the credit for things? So you may use the
01:30:16.000
we, but it's all about you, right? So it's the next level of all of that. So how do you internalize
01:30:22.060
things? I'm looking for people that are really ambitious for something bigger than themselves.
01:30:26.820
And in that journey, they want to do well. They want to provide whatever it is, but it's much
01:30:30.560
bigger. If someone is interested in just one thing, I think we all have a competitive drive,
01:30:36.000
for example. So when I look at people, I'm trying to understand, and this is a little bit what I'm
01:30:40.100
trying to explore in the current podcast we're doing with all the super athletes is what's driving your
01:30:44.800
competitive spirit. And I've kind of honed it down. And again, I played to rise this from somebody.
01:30:49.880
So, but you're either driven by competing and killing a competitor. Think of Muhammad Ali or
01:30:55.840
somebody, right? Like he needed to see the other person stand over them. You're driven by fear of
01:31:01.020
failure. I just interviewed an erotic in the first episode of this podcast. And you can tell he's like,
01:31:06.280
listen, I was driven completely by fear. But what you see is the first person is a warrior and the
01:31:13.000
warrior, unless they evolve, they know they'll lose the last battle. And therefore they quit.
01:31:20.140
And you see it in sometimes in boxing, they come back for one more and that's when they lose and
01:31:24.320
whatever. The person that is motivated by fear eventually taps out out of exhaustion. And the
01:31:31.580
more successful that they become, the harder they fall. They're like, I got to run. And I see a lot
01:31:36.360
of friends of mine who quit at 48, 50, 52, and they have all this gas in the tank. And I realize
01:31:42.480
many of them are driven by fear of failure and they just don't want that. The value of success is
01:31:48.000
so much less than the pain of failing that they can't take the trade anymore. The success became
01:31:54.140
too significant. The third in where I'm like really focused on is, is the people that love to compete
01:32:01.040
because they just love to get better all the time. It's a race against themselves. One is like a race
01:32:07.220
against somebody. The other one is a race against fear. The other one is a race against yourself.
01:32:11.000
And I find people that have that energy, have a better balance about it and can run the longer
01:32:19.120
race. And if you see people like, I know lots of guys that are in their sixties or seventies that are
01:32:24.300
still refusing to let the old man or old woman in is because they're driven by the game by getting
01:32:30.320
better. Professionally, how much of your energy is into your business versus your philanthropy?
01:32:35.360
Not time, but energy. It was 0% six years ago. It's probably 15% now going to go to 30. Eventually
01:32:44.980
it will be 50. What do you want to accomplish philanthropically that you have not yet accomplished
01:32:50.620
and not just necessarily at scale? Is there a problem that you have not yet gone after because
01:32:57.300
A, you haven't acquired the knowledge. B, you haven't thought of the angle at which you can have the
01:33:02.360
most leverage, but there's a problem that's nagging. Again, because there's no winning.
01:33:07.200
You're just advancing something forward. I am very motivated by reversing a bunch of the trends in
01:33:13.960
Puerto Rico. I'm not going to solve Puerto Rico. I may barely do anything, but I think I can do
01:33:19.140
something to start reversing some of the trends. I think the bigger opportunity I see is how do
01:33:24.500
companies become a force of good? How do business leaders see themselves and their responsibility to be a
01:33:30.200
force of good in their communities? I think this platforms or businesses are so powerful,
01:33:35.000
not just monetarily, but as engines of people and problem solving and access to opportunities that I
01:33:42.220
want us to become a bit of a beacon of like, wow, you can be successful and be good at the same time.
01:33:49.640
And they don't have to come against each other.
01:33:51.260
Do you think that public companies can do that? Is that part of your decision to stay private?
01:33:56.040
I just, I don't like authority. So I hate having a stock ticker on my head. So that's why I don't
01:34:01.220
want to be public. But I think public companies today, this is a Milton Friedman kind of challenge.
01:34:07.600
And Simon talks about it in that book is shareholder at the center. That's changing. Look at what the
01:34:12.500
business council just announced in the last couple of months. Hey, there's a bunch of stakeholders
01:34:16.100
here. These are pendulums that swing. When we get a fairly far left precedent in our country,
01:34:22.480
a lot of this stuff may change. And so these are pendulums. This is, this is not new.
01:34:28.980
What challenges you the most in your business today? You get a great challenge. You play
01:34:32.600
basketball. It's still such a huge part of your life. You are so competitive with yourself in
01:34:37.420
basketball. What are you trying to sharpen your sword in business? I mean, you talked a lot,
01:34:41.200
a little about negotiation. Obviously I can sense in you this passion to be better and better and
01:34:45.620
better at that and to understand the relationship and the dynamic. Cause obviously the best
01:34:50.260
negotiation is one and when both people win, what other skills are you honing?
01:34:55.040
The answer you may not like, but I feel like I'm over my head right now. This is so much fun.
01:35:01.340
I'm like trying to run the matrix. We are in seven industries from financial services to healthcare
01:35:07.140
to entertainment. We're building a lot of tech and I'm not a techie and we're a techie company.
01:35:12.540
We have 800 engineers and I'm not an engineer. How many total employees right now?
01:35:16.840
30, 200. We have 200 employees in London. We have 110 in Brazil. So you got to know countries,
01:35:22.800
you got to know markets. And most challenging is we grew organically for a long, long time. So we
01:35:28.920
were almost like a culture of settlers. So you came through our system and we've done a number of
01:35:34.720
acquisitions and now we become a culture of immigrants. And when your culture is your competitive
01:35:40.300
advantage, which I think a hundred percent it is, and you have added so much newness to it,
01:35:46.360
you know, leading our way through it is really challenging. And I have no idea what I'm doing.
01:35:50.400
I'm like Forrest Gump. I just show up every day and I give it a really, you know, all my effort and
01:35:55.160
I can't get fired, which is good. And if it goes to zero, it goes to zero. I don't care.
01:36:01.680
No, for sure. I am a hundred percent sure that if Red Ventures went to zero.
01:36:05.120
No, no, no, no. I'm not sure if it goes to zero. In 30 days, I'll be super happy to go to zero.
01:36:09.580
I'm found purpose in something else. None of this stuff really matters.
01:36:12.640
There are a few people who can say that with more certainty than you. But of course,
01:36:17.240
that's probably exactly why it doesn't happen. I'd certainly bet against it. If you go back
01:36:22.640
to the morning of Thursday, January 15th, 2009, and you could run into yourself as he's leaving his
01:36:29.580
hotel, rushing to the airport, and you couldn't tell him what was going to happen, but you could say
01:36:35.360
Don't miss that flight. That was the most remarkable, remarkable gift I ever got. And
01:36:42.960
I feel bad. There's people that were on that flight that will never fly again. I know there are people
01:36:49.300
on that flight that still can't sleep well. And I am really sorry for that. I'm really lucky that
01:36:54.140
the way it landed in my system was it gave me urgency, it gave me purpose, it gave me humility,
01:37:00.300
it gave me a game to play, which is a game with no regrets.
01:37:05.700
Rick, I can't thank you enough. I don't know what I did deserve two hours of your time today,
01:37:09.280
but you've given a great gift to a lot of people.
01:37:11.600
An honor to be here. You are one of a kind. I learn so much from you every time and thank you
01:37:17.620
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