Breakfast With Beau ｜ Friday 19th June 2026
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 27 minutes
Harmful content
Misogyny
14
sentences flagged
Toxicity
61
sentences flagged
Hate speech
73
sentences flagged
Summary
It's early in the morning, but that doesn't stop the boys from discussing the Labour result in the Makerfield by-election, the local elections and the general election. Plus, there's still time for a quiz from the producers.
Transcript
00:00:59.140
not like my colleague like i don't know dan or something he was on the buy side fund managers
00:01:07.460
venture capitalists those guys famously don't get into the office until about 11 if not lunchtime
00:01:14.420
all right and then they do a few trades and then they and then they go to the pub until 2am
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so for some people this is silly o'clock in the morning but no for me that's it's no it's fine
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uh harry how are you yeah morning i'm all right all right that's uh the voice of the
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all-powerful producer this early in the bloody morning
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right should we stop faffing about fannying around
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fannying around he's not fannying around it's i'm trying to wake up
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it's not it's not funny i'm gen i'm genuinely i had to get up at quarter past the middle of
00:02:44.480
bloody night to be here uh but okay fine fine whatever we've got a show to do haven't we
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you can't let a little thing like not actually being awake stop us from
00:03:04.240
you're the best people on earth blah blah blah blah um let's talk about what's going on
00:03:11.200
i'll tell you what i'm going to start with rather than going to that cabal of um
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fleet street nutters because they're just going to be talking about yesterday's stuff
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i mean the whole point of a newspaper i mean the clue is in the name new
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supposed to be new but it's yesterday's news let's talk about today's news let's talk about
00:03:34.560
the uh the the makerfield uh by-election shall we right um can they see that harry oh there we go
00:03:44.560
there we go so the results are in for the makerfield by-election and it and it turns out
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after all that the only thing that matters is um are you a member of the labor party
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That was the only thing that mattered in the end.
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now in fairness right we probably shouldn't have been massively surprised by that because this is
00:04:36.860
an area i mean i think i think makerfield's been around since like the 80s or something
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and then before that i think most of what is now makerfield was in ince
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that had always always been labor it turned out that it was a winning strategy to pick a seat
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but has never voted for anyone else ever so there's that um we ought to look at the rest
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of the uh the rest of the results though so reform reform did oh god it's early
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how do you how do you people do this get up at this hour
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so reform they managed to pull off a second not a win that's another by-election they've lost
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getting a bit worrying reform they um they keep on not winning die elections
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um i mean i suppose they've got an excuse here that this is just a
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it is obviously just a massive massive labor stronghold but um
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they got was it 15 000 votes 35 of the vote um at first blush you might think that's not
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too bad but let's have a look at the um the the makerfield local elections
00:06:52.360
so the change between the last local elections labor massively up
00:06:59.860
massively up uh since the last local elections and you can't even see restore there the till
00:07:06.100
bar at the end that is going all the way down can we see it better on that one oh there we go
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yeah so it's the right hand side of this i think it's chopped off the bottom of it can we
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producer harry can we can we zoom out a little bit on that one to show the change
00:07:19.320
oh there we go that's it so since the last local elections reform are down 16 so it's a bloody
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awful night for them um not good at all but to be fair the greens are down 10 points as well
00:07:36.540
so uh yeah people i mean what this is is this is this is this is this is this is this is labor in
00:07:46.700
their death throes and i mean the tories are already dead everybody's nobody talks about the
00:07:53.080
tories anymore everybody's given up on the tories they're they're an ex-party but what labor are
00:07:59.080
doing they're in their death throes and they're spasming at this point clutching hoping grasping
00:08:06.040
for life hoping that this burnham chap is going to come along and save them and they obviously
00:08:12.200
really really want it so the left was like yeah sod the green party yeah we're coming home to
00:08:19.260
labor because frankly if burnham doesn't save us nobody will and he won't we get onto the newspapers
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in a minute and um yeah there's no fixing this so not good at all um restore new party
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seven percent of the vote i'm a bit disappointed with that
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um when you got first place getting 55 of the vote though
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i can i can there's lots of there's lots of silver lining in that cloud but it is disappointing
00:09:02.880
we were obviously hoping for higher i was hoping for something in the low 20s
00:09:09.600
you know at least the teens uh but it didn't get there but it is a new party
00:09:18.240
and this is the first westminster election that it's that it's gone for so if you think about the
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a bit of history. You know I like a bit of history.
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I've got a Masters in History or something like that.
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this is history so in 1994 there was a conservative mp and younger people won't
00:10:03.140
know this but it is a funny story anyway the conservative mp was found dead um with a plastic
00:10:09.180
bag over his head um a black bin bag over his head with an orange in his mouth and a budgie
00:10:15.920
flying around inside you think i'm joking i'm actually not right he he was into this um auto
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erotic asphyxiation or something uh not my kind of thing
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i don't know what's wrong with a with a prim young lass but uh that was the sort of thing he
00:10:34.320
was into and anyway if if one of your mps dies with a plastic bag over his head and a budgie
00:10:41.040
and an orange in his mouth then you're going to uh need a a new one so in 1994 there was a
00:10:47.920
a by-election in Eastleigh and Nigel Farage ran in that and he got like one and a half percent of
00:10:54.280
the vote which was a bit disappointing and then he in 1997 he had to go at Salisbury and he got
00:11:02.560
like five percent and then in 2001 he had to go at Bexley I think it was or no Bexhill no Bexhill
00:11:12.760
bexley's in london bex hill he had a go at um and he got seven percent so there you go so it took him
00:11:20.600
uh 10 years to get to where restore got to in their in their first outing so um
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the so yes it is it is a bit lower than we were hoping but without doubt restore are absolutely
00:11:38.200
speed running the insurgency playbook now the question remains is can they continue to do
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a quarter what are they like 120 days in now so they're a quarter of a year in
00:12:01.640
and they replicated what farage took 10 years to do if that is true then
00:12:10.360
that's a nice strong position to come back from the other thing i'd say
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is is look at how suppressed all these rates these vote shares are this this is just overwhelmingly
00:12:22.140
labor perhaps not surprisingly uh it's a labor stronghold so if restore are on seven percent
00:12:29.220
here they are most definitely not on seven percent nationally it it's at i mean at minimum
00:12:35.940
it's something like 10 12 nationally so i think the polling companies after coming a a solid third
00:12:43.620
place here the polling companies are gonna have to start prompting for restore and uh you'll see
00:12:49.220
what their their real vote share is and it's probably going to be 10 12 something like that
00:12:53.860
conservatives um i don't think i think they would have lost their deposit on that yeah they would
00:13:03.760
have lost their deposit with their two percent of the vote oldest political party in the world
00:13:10.000
ladies and gentlemen two percent greens um it turns out greens can only win if you have a lot
00:13:17.720
of students and a lot of new Britons and you have to campaign to them in Urdu or whatever
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the other one is Pashtun or something you know the Star Wars languages so greens are
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excellent spoilers uh if you have been invaded by either the new britons or students terrifying
00:13:53.400
thought in either case um so greens they lost their deposit as well liberal democrats oh do
00:13:59.000
you remember them older viewers will remember the liberal democrats they used to be a party um
00:14:05.320
163 votes the candidate could have gone out afterwards and thanked all of them personally
00:14:14.100
and it wouldn't have delayed his breakfast by much 0.4 percent so yes very disappointing for
00:14:22.520
everybody who isn't labor so um given that what's going to happen now well
00:14:29.280
Andy Burnham is going to go sailing into Westminster um he's almost I mean Labour
00:14:37.020
MPs are going to see this this is our this is our one hope this is our chance to end extinction
00:14:43.580
and almost certainly I think he's going to take it now with a result like this behind him this
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shows momentum people in politics are bloody love momentum Labour MPs will be thinking this can say
00:14:56.620
I mean, this might actually be strong enough that Keir Starmer doesn't even contest it.
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I mean, he probably will because he's a belligerent bugger and he's a Fabian
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and he's spent his whole life trying to get into this position
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where he can do as much harm as possible to the country in the time that he's got.
00:15:14.880
But nevertheless, he will come under considerable pressure
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he probably won't but he will come under considerable pressure to do that so a bloody
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awful night um for everyone who is not Andy Burnham very very very bad night
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it was a total total wipeout right okay fair enough
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Um, we ought to look at the papers, shouldn't we, to document the ever-continuing decline of this once great nation.
00:16:07.500
What fresh hells have been unleashed upon us in this once green and pleasant land where you go out,
00:16:16.660
have a cup of tea with the vicar, play some cricket, then have some sandwiches, possibly
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00:16:24.740
with a cuss to cut off. What has happened to the state of Britain yesterday, apart from
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00:16:34.120
the Makerfield election? All right, let's start off with a telegraph, shall we? Basically
00:16:39.820
the reformer graph these days all right what have we got boy three thrown to crocodiles
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and thought that it would be incredibly funny
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he just thought that was the funniest thing he could think of
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who was stabbed in the face 23 times with a screwdriver and died
00:18:36.440
mentalist on day release you know you sometimes see these people and they're being
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they're being uh they're being taken out of a secure facility
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because of course we can't have asylums anymore
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uh because that was mean no what we've got to do is we've got to do care in the community
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and we've got to take um dangerous unhinged mentalists and basically just um shoo them
00:19:03.400
around your kids because it's because that's better somehow so I've heard rumors that it's
00:19:10.680
it's a mentalist uh not a not a non but um I don't know I don't know because nobody is saying
00:19:18.180
anything apart from the police who are just saying please don't speculate you know don't don't pay
00:19:23.020
no attention to this don't listen don't worry it's all part and parcel of living in modern Britain
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the end days of the progressive liberal hegemon
00:19:40.840
you know I like a bit of Rome did classics degree or something like that and
00:19:49.940
one of the things are you know one of the things they tell you all these the pop culture versions
00:19:56.260
the bad historians they say you know in in in the in the late roman empire quite often people
00:20:03.160
didn't realize that they were in the late roman empire they just thought they were in the roman
00:20:07.280
empire they didn't they didn't realize it was collapsing around them and i've always wondered
00:20:11.880
is that really true because it is very clear to me that we are in the late stages of the progressive
00:20:31.440
a random man will spot that you have a small child
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pick them up and throw them into a crocodile enclosure
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god can you imagine being the parent when that happened
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and what have you got another child with you what do you do do you do you immediately dive in
00:20:55.020
or do you protect the other child you can't take the other child with you into a bloody
00:21:01.100
but nevertheless the good people of makerfield bless their heart
00:21:12.860
they looked at britain they looked at the sudanese man gouging out the eyes of a deaf man
00:21:20.780
they looked at riona white they looked at south pot they looked at they looked at this
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yep why not let's have a bit more of this maybe maybe if we maybe if we change the leader
00:22:12.500
to to do this stabby stabby blow up screwdriver in face machete at a dance concert boys thrown
00:22:21.380
to crocodile but do it but do it well i'm honestly uh i'm i'm not impressed people
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we are sharing a nation with people that think that you just need to
00:22:53.620
spit on it rub it a bit and the and the labor party is going to be as good as new
00:22:58.260
yeah yeah i don't think so anyway back to the papers then right daily telegraph boy three
00:23:25.400
thrown to crocodile toddler in critical condition after he is pushed into an enclosure by a stranger
00:23:31.640
at the zoo yeah i expect this is going to be on all the paper i haven't seen because i got here like
00:23:37.040
a minute after i was supposed to be live so yeah um right what the sun got
00:23:46.200
they gone for a pun they gone for a clever pun no they haven't
00:23:52.200
Codler critical, boy three thrown to crocs at the zoo
00:24:00.720
The son carries a similar headline, boy three thrown to crocs at the zoo
00:24:05.480
According to the paper, he is believed to have suffered a serious arm injury
00:24:26.520
you couldn't get them to oh bugger i haven't got kids have i oh fuck it fine okay
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yeah it was actually me all along bows off for the day i was in disguise
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um let me know in the comments if you could tell the difference
00:24:49.940
uh i i i slipped up there i mentioned i had kids and he doesn't so uh yeah all right
00:24:57.820
anyway so i had kids when i was um well right my kids are a little bit grown up now and um
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yeah in order to get little kids to sleep you have to reassure them
00:25:12.700
that there are no monsters like lurking in the cupboards or under the bed or something
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and i always uh took the took the view that it was basically impossible to convince a small child
00:25:28.580
that there's um there's no monsters because they they're just it's it's it's genetically programmed
00:25:38.420
in from the earliest days of our species to be like there are monsters and so i never bothered
00:25:45.640
telling me that there were no such thing as monsters i just used to tell them yeah there
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are monsters but there won't be any here because they're too afraid of me and that actually settled
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them down so little kids are just terrified of bloody monsters and imagine normally you get past
00:26:03.120
that as a little kid but imagine actually meeting one and it mauling your arm
00:26:08.360
the level of trauma is is unimaginable but yeah anyway
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um yeah the chat is going wild right now they uh my disguise had everybody fooled
00:26:26.920
you didn't know that about me did you didn't know that i was a master of disguise
00:26:31.800
the reason i've got the bald cap is because um i owed bo a favor and about six months ago um
00:26:39.880
he he um he had something he wanted to do so i attended his brother's wedding for him
00:26:44.680
as him um i think i pulled it off i think i pulled it off so uh yeah
00:26:52.580
no it's me it's dan bo is in bo is in makerfield at the moment uh he he would have gone to the
00:27:01.340
because he couldn't get into the count in fact most most of the people that you know the the
00:27:06.880
charlie downs is and the the harrison pits and the lewis and all the rest of them they they didn't
00:27:13.260
actually go to the count the count's a bit boring though you basically just get a whole load you get
00:27:16.720
like a sports hall all laid out and they bring in the votes and they they they put them all into
00:27:23.200
nice neat piles and then of whatever it is no they snow they sort them out they sort them out
00:27:29.020
into the different into stacks so you open the box it all comes out and they're like okay well
00:27:35.920
that's a you know that's a labor one and then that's a labor one and then that's a labor one
00:27:39.540
and then that's a labor one and then that's a labor one and that's a reform one and you basically
00:27:44.120
just get them in and and separate them out and then you count them into batches of 50 you put
00:27:49.460
a rubber band around them and you put it on a table in the middle so as the night goes on you
00:27:54.420
can see how how long the piles are growing and that's that's why you get news out of of by
00:28:01.060
elections as to who's winning nobody has any numbers but you can just you can physically see
00:28:04.840
the pile growing um and so he didn't he didn't but he didn't go to the count but all the reform guys
00:28:13.660
they um uh they took over a pub and and the idea was that uh when restore one with 78 of the vote
00:28:26.040
or whatever it is we're hoping for um then then we could get we we could sort of film everybody
00:28:32.660
celebrating and an instant reaction it didn't work out like that it turned out that literally
00:28:38.540
the only thing that mattered is are you a member of the Labour Party and are you not Keir Starmer
00:28:47.100
anyway yeah anyway back to uh back to the back to the papers all right what
00:29:00.220
make it up as you go Daily Mail they're going with the toddler horror story as well
00:29:08.540
we're in the trash zone now the sun the mail i think it was the mail i think it was i i remember
00:29:17.500
being in the mail once this was this was years ago when i was i was i was doing the westminster
00:29:23.160
stuff and uh older members uh of of of of the program they they will remember there's a guy
00:29:30.940
called michael bortillo and he and he was running to be leader of the conservative party after um
00:29:40.180
oh who was it who was it william haig william haig so william haig um basically um crashed and burned
00:29:48.460
and then it was like who's going to be leader now and um a lot of us rallied i mean so i was
00:29:54.720
working for michael bortillo as a young lad this was straight out of university in fact i don't
00:29:59.960
think I'd even finish university at this point I was just I was just it was like a summer break
00:30:05.140
or something so I went down to Westminster and helped out on the Patello campaign and anyway
00:30:11.780
so we got a large check of like whatever it was um like 25 grand and it was it was too much it
00:30:19.900
broke the spending rules or something like that so they so I they gave it to me and I put it in
00:30:24.060
my pocket and I had to I had to trudge across London to to give it back to this guy and say
00:30:29.720
yeah thanks very much but but no thanks anyway while i'm while i'm at the uh the tube station
00:30:34.900
uh i think it was a daily mail it was one of these um i see that this guy had apparently
00:30:40.560
donated 150 grand or something and i'm literally stood there with a copy of the daily mail in one
00:30:48.980
hand and the check in the other hand and it's like no that's that's that's not right that's not right
00:30:54.780
that they had managed to get a bit of a story and then they had just made it up from there
00:31:00.660
and exaggerated um and that was the first time i really realized that whatever you read in the
00:31:06.860
papers is is at least exaggerated if not wrong or made up entirely and every other time i have had
00:31:15.320
any dealings with newspapers um i every single time that i personally have known the other side
00:31:23.460
of the story i've known that they're talking shit so uh this is why i don't put an enormous
00:31:30.340
amount of stock in what um what newspapers say 90 percent of the time because they literally
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make stuff up um but this one uh they're just going with the toddler stuff so fine
00:31:42.420
and then they got something about holly goes lightly white for ladies day at ascot who the
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hell is holly why why do we have a mid in white anyone
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right everything i was just saying about just making up
00:32:11.100
oh they've they've got the holly story the mid in white um yeah boy three throwing crop cages
00:32:21.900
uh they got something about football i don't know about football i don't care for
00:32:26.380
football right they gone with that financial times what have they got they got something interesting
00:32:31.740
um i used to subscribe to the ft have it delivered every morning so that i could read
00:32:38.060
it on my way into work um communist as hell which is weird you think you think financial stuff would
00:32:46.540
be wouldn't be massively communist but no of course it was uh bank of england keeps rates at 3.75
00:32:54.540
after iran peace deal lowers oil price right 3.75 historically low but for the last 30 years
00:33:36.320
in front of those weird pictures that weird cartoon picture of his that makes him look like
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they don't mention crocodiles at all oh and this is that's an interesting story actually this one
00:33:55.740
rape convictions under review after detective allegedly used ai chatbot yeah so this is the
00:34:02.400
story i don't know we covered it on the on the podcast but you you had this you had this uh
00:34:07.340
copper chap and um it's long been suspected that what the police do is they just want an easy
00:34:15.560
conviction they don't give a damn if you're guilty or not well unless you're unless you're
00:34:26.680
melanated but if you're not melanated uh they they just want they just want to they just want
00:34:32.100
to clinch it they just they just want to get you in the clink get their detections which is what
00:34:39.440
i think they call their like their token system in the police you get a detection or whatever it
00:34:43.680
is you you get a conviction um then then you're good it looks good on your numbers you don't get
00:34:50.800
a bonus or anything but somebody pats you on the head at the end of the year and says yeah you've
00:34:55.700
got lots of the things that we were looking for you you've you've secured your kpis anyway so this
00:36:00.540
for at least one or two weeks a year because otherwise how can i how can i be smugly superior
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to people who haven't got it um i suppose the rest of you just open your bloody windows or
00:36:12.900
something and enjoy it but whatever anyway so uh heat wave will work uh moscow's burning
00:36:18.980
because they're saying a drone or possibly a a air interceptor from the russian side hit
00:36:26.200
something that went boom i mean it is a war isn't it so right uh cost of living hope for uk as oil
00:36:35.480
flows again in the gulf oh yeah so yeah the persian situation so trump has declared victory
00:37:27.620
uh starmer amasses war chest to fight off leadership challenge
00:37:33.000
right how is money going to help him is he is he just literally going to be bribing the mps
00:37:39.260
uh they've got the crocodile story there on the bloody time so which one is would you consider
00:37:46.840
the headline is it the one at the head of the paper or is it the one in the biggest font
00:37:55.960
it's not i suppose that's the headline but it's not at the head of the paper it's just bigger
00:38:03.400
well we all like bigger don't we so the headline is is actually uk wastes billions
00:38:08.600
paying too much for big projects yeah like replacing the native population that's really
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expensive and it's a shit idea and billions i think would be an understatement for how much
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that is going to cost us i think it's going to cost us it could cost us everything but yeah um
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what what what in particular they talk about transport scheme 65 pricier than oh i don't get
00:39:07.700
don't like it much it's uh i mean it's just kind of dirty and smelly isn't it
00:39:18.900
you find yourself backpacking through jakarta you go to a local nightclub
00:39:31.860
in a hawaiian shirt looking like a three-day corpse
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rolling around the nightclub eyeing up the local totty dirty dirty
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i know why you're there dirty old man that's the guardian
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we don't like the guardian do we anyway well the guardian what what have they got to say for
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for themselves um right it says britain could rejoin eu on special terms says ex-broke brexit
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negotiator oh for god's sakes guardian pull your head out your ass you're still going on about
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the world this country is falling a bloody part
00:40:31.500
it's a basket case people are being blinded in the streets
00:40:38.280
little kids are being thrown into crocodile pits
00:40:43.540
and they're still banging on about bloody brexit god you absolute bunch of
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i don't know something mild toss pots can't be too rude it's breakfast people might have this
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on with the kids around silly people they they are silly people at the guardian all of this
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everything that's going on in the country and anyway right moscow hit by biggest ukrainian
0.99
00:41:28.480
yeah because everybody who reads the sodding guardian has got a bloody ukraine flag up in
0.84
00:41:35.000
garden haven't they right the express it's a good paper
00:41:45.880
right well they got they've got stay out of eu and cut taxes to back global britain
00:41:56.680
right well i mean it's a start isn't it it's a start
00:42:05.000
i mean that doesn't that doesn't really get you there does it i mean it is a start yes
00:42:12.440
you don't you don't unwind brexit yes correct you cut tax yes you do cut taxes what else do you do
00:42:21.420
well you you you you bin off 90 of wealth unless unless you are properly disabled and by that i
0.57
00:42:30.960
don't mean that you're um a pakistani origin estate agent who's realized he can get a new
0.52
00:42:36.860
merc on the mobility scheme yeah i don't mean that i mean if if if you are properly properly
0.71
00:42:43.560
disabled yeah we can keep that bit of welfare right the rest of it it can sod off right
00:42:49.140
right and pensions well we're not doing this triple lock thing no we're putting the age up
0.66
00:42:54.780
to in bows britain dan's we whoever i am at the moment right bloody pensions triple lock can piss
00:43:02.100
off pension age will be like 75 or something like because it was supposed the pension age
00:43:09.420
originally was was like 15 years higher than life expectancy right and now it's like whatever it is
00:43:16.560
like 65 and then people live on to their sodding 90s and they get a bloody triple lock on it no
00:43:22.460
we're not doing that well and then what else are we doing right so we we well nhs yeah you're
00:43:29.100
sorting that out you can bloody pay fees to go to the gp like they do in the rest of the world
00:43:36.380
which is why their health system doesn't collapse because people think twice before they spam it
0.91
00:43:42.080
make a number of other changes there and then and then the bloody immigration we're going to fix
1.00
00:43:47.360
that we're gonna what we're gonna do is we're gonna round them all up all right put them on a
0.82
00:43:52.300
plane plane's gonna take off and we're gonna fly to karachi or whatever it is lahore we're gonna fly
00:44:02.780
to lahore and we're gonna and we're gonna say to the the pakistani government would you like
00:44:08.100
these people back and they're gonna go uh no we're gonna go fair enough and we're gonna and
00:44:16.380
we're going to get over the um we're going to we're going to announce hello ladies and gentlemen
00:44:23.620
i hope you've been enjoying your british airways flight to lahore
00:44:28.200
as you know you are being repatriated why am i doing a mic i've got a mic um you are being
00:44:36.820
repatriated but your your government is not cooperating with this process we have lowered
00:44:43.180
the plane to 28,000 feet, please find a parachute under your seat, we will be opening the back of
00:44:52.320
the plane in a few minutes, you will struggle to breathe unless you get below 15,000 feet in the
00:44:59.760
next 90 seconds, all of the best, please don't fly with us again. So yes, yes Express, we do start off
00:45:13.180
we've not rejoining the eu and cutting taxes but it goes a little bit further than that
00:45:18.140
right okay okay what else have we got the mirror
00:45:21.740
the mirror pm back sam's law together we can saves lives he'd do whatever he can to help the
00:45:33.180
mirror campaign after water tragedies um so is this i'm less familiar with this this mirror
00:45:43.600
campaign sport that came after water safety campaign after 19 people drowned in a heat
00:45:49.640
wave earlier this year yeah because yeah i mean the issue here is that the young boys
00:45:55.720
it gets a bit hot and they go and just jump in bloody quarry lakes and stuff
00:46:00.900
and they don't realise that these quarry lakes are really sodding deep
00:46:15.220
and because it's quite cold your muscles go into shock
00:46:28.920
but yeah down the road from me we've got a quarry lake and like every 10 years a young
00:46:35.720
boy drowns in it because they think why why shouldn't i swim in it it's like a pool but outside
00:46:43.040
the metro coming onto my screen the metro really is the cheap gypsy tart of the of the papers world
1.00
00:46:56.520
isn't it and they've got a picture of an african and they say you're going to be the one that saves
1.00
00:47:03.080
us right what what the hell why what the hell are they talking about
1.00
00:47:11.640
was it a football thing oh it's world cup oh god i don't care about your stupid kicky ball game
1.00
00:47:22.900
right anyway oh that's done right that's done how are we doing for time am i supposed to be
0.99
00:47:28.100
doing the comments now i i've got 10 minutes but i thought we were supposed to finish at nine
00:47:41.360
or can i go over will the will they object if i go over all right okay fine all right let's see
00:47:50.520
what else we got lined up on the links uh yeah a bit of makerfield yeah bloody awful unless you're
00:47:59.040
andy burnham yeah right uh right what else we got oh yeah here we go um oil price
00:48:06.880
am i supposed to be able to read that hang on a minute
00:48:14.120
oh there we go seven uh wti is 75 dollars a barrel that is extraordinary isn't it
00:48:25.740
how the hell did they manage to manipulate the markets to keep it below 100 for most of this
00:48:33.080
time now down to 75 they must have been shelling oil out of every reserve they could find
00:48:39.940
all right so oil remarkably low all right fair enough well done i mean i mean i mean seriously
00:48:49.040
well done to trump because he started a completely unnecessary war he spent third of a trillion to
00:48:54.900
get back where he started but at least he did keep oil prices low during that time so you know
00:48:59.240
all right uh you tidied up after yourself i'll give you that we got the bbc here with a picture
00:49:07.700
of a smug burnham with his north korean haircut right okay oh good lord would you look at that
00:49:17.560
i want to do karate throat strike to that just on general principle smug
0.67
00:49:27.140
can i say twat is it i can't say twat um everybody's looking up in these photos
0.61
00:49:36.260
trump's looking up at an iran deal yep splendid whatever um andy burnham wins
0.62
00:49:43.340
um what's going on here is that macron speaking to a footballer or something
00:49:48.800
or david lammy who knows who knows yeah andy burnham what's this oh we got the daily mail
00:49:58.080
oh this is a fun story you know um eva verdinkerbrook
00:50:09.060
yeah she wasn't allowed in the country was she no we couldn't have her in
1.00
00:50:34.580
Either of those two words by themselves should be disqualifying.
00:50:39.240
Put them together, and I would say that is a hard no.
00:50:48.800
A judge looked at the Jamaican paedophile and thought, yes.
00:50:56.980
It would breach their human rights if they were not allowed to enter Britain.
00:51:06.880
Harry, am I allowed to say what I would like to do to judges in this country?
00:51:40.480
Well, I think you know, don't you? I think during that dramatic pause, I think you worked
00:51:58.800
it out, didn't you? Suggestions in the chat. There we go, we've got chat down there. How
00:52:08.800
does beau see how does he see anything the writing is bloody tiny
00:52:16.480
i'm not that much older than him oh look oh harry made it big well done harry you made it big
00:52:25.760
um yeah yeah that stuff all of that yes especially that one um liam um yes yeah all of that
00:52:39.040
right oh here we go there's a there is a picture of the jamaican paedophile
00:52:48.640
either the dinkerbrook no this guy on all span spence yeah okay okay oh what did he oh he um
0.99
00:53:02.560
oh he he sexually assaulted a 15 year old girl yeah oh he fit right in then
0.92
00:53:08.380
yep splendid splendid splendid splendid and uh the express yeah yeah burnham one we know
0.99
00:53:24.720
talking of france talking of france right so this lass
00:53:31.040
um so so there she is she's a french girl and um is it i think it was a tunisian
0.98
00:53:40.860
um forced his way into her flat and uh sexually assaulted or raped or whatever he did and um
0.65
00:53:49.700
yeah so that's pretty bad so then she went on french tv and she talked about her assault
0.64
00:54:20.300
and it wasn't like it wasn't like a bloody you know kids program or something it was a it was a
0.98
00:54:25.740
political discussion thing and she she talked about this and so they jailed her
00:54:33.340
or community cohesion or some like that whatever it was
1.00
00:54:43.900
i mean i know i know we're bad in this country but we haven't oh and then there was another case in
00:54:49.020
i think it was either finland or sweden one of those snowy places with the reindeer and
00:54:55.740
um yeah this this one girl she um she brought a court case against her rapists
00:55:04.360
she was outside a hospital a 14 year old girl and these these um foreign men came over they
00:55:11.800
they shooed her um away from the entrance and raped her in the bushes and um the judge um
00:55:20.460
basically in the court case awarded costs to the foreigners
0.85
00:55:26.940
so we've now reached a stage where not only do you get raped that if you talk about it on cv you
00:55:31.820
go to jail and in in finland or whatever it was um she had to pay she the the rape victim she had
0.57
00:55:38.860
to pay costs to her rapists she had to pay her rapists yeah
00:55:50.460
The state of the Western world at this point when the backlash comes
00:56:04.100
yeah there might be a backlash might there the build it just says build
00:56:18.480
the in a pop-up which i can't get rid of because i don't speak as a german oh there we go
00:56:25.260
um they've got a picture of a train a picture of um an immigrant man with a white woman
00:56:33.440
um um i i have no idea what's going on here oh it's oh i don't care is that it is that all of
00:56:42.820
them i'm pressing the button and it's oh no i'm no i'm just rapidly switching between english
00:56:50.880
what's this one uh tass russian oh i didn't realize we could get russian news anymore i
00:56:56.420
thought that would be bad uh trump describes iran signing the memorandum of u.s as unconditional
00:57:13.360
indian express yes all right uh ministry of corporate affair services affected after fire
00:57:26.080
yeah okay whatever uh moving swiftly on the jihon news so this we've got a bit of china
00:57:36.000
oh yeah and of course their front pages is not little children being thrown into crocodile pits
00:57:41.440
um their front pages are little children meeting robots
00:57:56.080
There are clues for the observant observer that the West is not where it's at.
00:58:08.620
Front page of European papers are rapist forced, rape victim forced to pay cost,
00:58:17.460
rapist, a rape victim sent to jail, mentioning it, three-year-old boyfriend, crocodile,
0.97
00:58:24.920
you go to you go to china and it's little kids meeting bloody robots yeah so um okay
0.99
00:58:34.580
we may have fallen behind on civilizational terms uh what's this japan wire
00:58:42.420
uh fire breaks out of tokyo elementary school oh no elementary school they're 10 injured
00:58:50.600
look at that they don't they don't shy away uh from reporting bad things that have happened to
00:58:56.640
children they don't cover it up they don't they don't urge you not to speculate anyway papers but
00:59:04.800
la times yeah they they they americans have no concept of there being anything else i went to
00:59:11.940
la last time i went to la i i bought a i bought a copy of the la times and i thought okay let's
00:59:19.320
catch up on world events and i flicked through this paper expecting to find out about what was
00:59:26.160
going on in the world and um and there was no mention of anything about the world and then i
00:59:31.800
started to get to the back of the paper i thought okay here's going to be the world news and what
00:59:36.340
they actually covered was news from other u.s states that they literally have no concept of
00:59:43.140
of anything not being america so um i mean it's fine i mean if if if you're in la then i suppose
00:59:52.500
north dakota must seem like a well i suppose it is a foreign country different demographics anyway
00:59:58.760
so but whatever don't care uh new york times don't care uh yeah or i don't care about any
01:00:04.760
of this right okay there's more links but i'm pretty sure i don't care let's go to the
01:00:11.760
actually i want the one with the lucozade where's the where's the one with there we go
01:00:20.960
actually i might have the no i'm gonna have the i'm gonna have the lucozade one right okay
01:00:24.640
um oh this is the bit where i get to read what church global history posted at uh 4 15 in the
01:00:34.560
am do i start from the top or the bottom bottom right let's go it's not church global history
01:00:44.700
he's not there is he taking a day off was it beau all along
01:00:50.580
is church global history just beau is he just talking to himself because he's not here
01:00:58.580
oh i'm not good enough for you am i sir all right fine oh i know we got
01:01:05.540
um claravan is that morning dan how could you when was that posted that was posted at
01:01:16.580
6 21 how could you tell i was in my i was still in my disguise then all right okay fine
01:01:22.260
uh morning dan can't help but feel a little black peeled this morning the store need to
01:01:28.680
seriously answer why there was such a wide gap between internal polling and their actual result
01:01:33.260
yep fair enough they do if you stand back objectively they they did really well for a
01:01:41.000
new party but they did nowhere near as well as we were all hoping for uh because we were all a bit
01:01:48.240
hopeful that is true yeah uh jeffrey faranel says good morning dan
01:01:54.080
i was i was literally in disguise you could not have known that
01:02:00.420
how could you have known that a big fan big fan he says it twice sensible chap
01:02:06.940
it seems that voter turnout was lower than expected in makerfield despite intense canvassing
01:02:12.900
would you support compulsory voting um i thought it was 65
01:02:17.840
actually what what was it let's let's let's see if it's on my little link thing
01:02:26.400
i heard early on that it was really high but that was before the actual results were announced that
01:02:34.720
was just what they were kind of hinting at turnout no it's 58.75 so 59 that's actually
01:02:40.380
quite high that would be high for a general election and no i don't support compulsory
01:02:44.940
voting because um i don't support compulsory anything apart from re-migration uh tom rat
01:03:32.060
I'm not fully up to speed on what Heinleinism is,
01:04:08.500
but he's got the surname to fit in any of those hasn't he but yeah really bad night for
01:04:15.720
reform massively massively down on their council um but i mean think of it this way right think
01:04:26.000
of it this way what restore had to do is they it was like it was like the first scene of saving
01:04:32.400
private ryan they had to get off the beach right they they were coming under intent i mean the
01:05:06.800
They put themselves on the map, but yeah, it wasn't as good as we were hoping for
01:05:12.520
because after all of that intense energy, Restore had their guns fixed solely on Restore.
01:05:23.740
And what they forgot about is that they were actually running against the Labour Party.
01:05:29.060
And then Andy Burnham just comes in with his B-52 and drops a Moab on the lot of us.
01:05:36.800
yeah all right but at least we're at least we're off the beaches
01:05:44.840
we're off the beach and we are into the crater that andy burnham left behind him
01:05:51.760
okay uh luke 91 says uh how do you think andy will do when the next migrant crime like stabbing
0.72
01:06:01.320
beheading or grape happens do you think he'd do better than queer starlin or do you think
0.89
01:06:06.600
Labour be back where they started yeah I mean that's the thing is is Labour in their death
0.97
01:06:12.600
roads this is this is their Rishi Sunak moment this is their everything is going to hell
0.86
01:06:18.420
let's pick Rishi Sunak or Andy Burnham and see if that changes it won't it won't change a damn
01:06:25.220
thing he there was nothing in the liberal progressive framework that he couldn't do
01:06:30.160
it's not like he's going to say oh right okay well look we're we meet you halfway we're going
0.90
01:06:36.040
to deport um 500 000 muwapuri pakistanis yeah we we do that we meet you halfway we do that and then
0.98
01:06:45.080
and then we can forget about it no they're not going to do not going to do anything are they
0.98
01:06:48.760
they're not they're not even going to stop the the inflow of jamaican pedophiles
0.97
01:06:54.360
so they're not going to make a damn difference you get a short honeymoon period and then we'll
0.96
01:06:57.400
be straight back in it will be rishi sonic all over again um okay um oh yeah he also says i'm
01:07:05.400
sorry as someone who works in mental health
1.00
01:07:33.820
a large number of job vacancies in the judge department
0.85
01:07:49.820
and there would be more prisons more asylums and more deportations flights
01:07:55.740
and then we would discover that a lot of our problems the bad ones
01:08:03.820
go away we can go back to worrying about the price of petrol or something okay um question 47 says
01:08:12.540
for a sensible five pounds that's a sensible super chat thank you um first time watcher
01:08:17.660
long time listener uh nice to finally put a face to the voice yes
01:08:23.020
although i may have thrown you off a bit early because i was in disguise
01:09:55.300
morning dan all right we may not have won the by-election but we will win the general election
01:10:05.000
burnham will be a better face than the starminator as well not so terribly yeah i mean actually we
01:10:11.060
we we have i i think i think burnham is going to be an improvement not because burnham is a good
01:10:17.820
politician not because he can do anything better but because he's not starmer and starmer is a
01:10:23.120
complete soulless psychopath a proper proper psychopath
0.96
01:10:27.760
he he's the sort of thing that in medieval times you would get clubbed through the on the back of
0.99
01:10:37.440
the head as you're walking through the woods dragged into the bottom of a cave and he would
01:10:56.660
Burnham won't be able to fix any of the problems
01:11:10.820
to stop reform the smears the desperation it it turns out actually um all of that fratricide
01:11:23.340
they forgot the fact that burnham was there they forgot and this was a labour constituency that
01:11:30.460
had voted labour forever and the area had voted labour since labour was created as a political
01:11:39.780
party for over 120 years so yes um question 47 says dan it was you all along yes
01:11:57.140
a lot of you didn't notice that um excellent right so is that is that all of them
01:12:04.100
have i have i done my bit can i go back to bed now
01:13:07.220
is anything to go by, that's going to be a complete
01:13:09.020
Labour blowout because they only ever vote Labour
01:13:36.080
it might be time for Rupert and Nige to mend the relationship because this ego struggle is pathetic
01:13:42.280
the challenge is is that is that we're back restored because we don't think that
01:13:48.480
Farage is going to change anything because he's told us on various occasions he's not going to
0.71
01:13:52.780
change anything and that he um he basically just wants to win votes from the nones until
01:14:00.160
until they take over which is a little bit of a problem honestly uh it's that that wouldn't be
01:14:06.760
my preferred strategy so i don't see what voting for reform gets you if the strategy is just to
01:14:14.760
remain electorally viable until you're replaced okay um i think we need to replace them and and
01:14:26.260
if we if we can keep doing in every three months what it took forage 10 years to do
01:14:31.380
than in a year i don't know is it cope is it real i mean honestly for a new party
01:14:44.940
it's a first battle when it cost us we got off the beaches it cost us put a lot of effort in
01:15:19.340
i'm not sure what's going on there so i think i might move swiftly past that one
01:15:26.920
yeah um irwin romulus sensible five pounds thank you um the finished judge allegedly said she
01:15:36.960
should have known what would have happened i sure heard she has to pay 16 000 euro marks yeah
01:15:43.540
yeah that's about right 16 000 euro mark she has to pay
1.00
01:15:46.600
because that young girl should have known what happened when she let the
1.00
01:15:51.860
foreign men shoo her away from the entrance it was her fault
0.58
01:15:55.580
you were young white and female you should you should have you should have you should you should
1.00
01:16:04.440
have run the number one schmuck for a solid twenty dollars that answer that's that's doing
0.91
01:16:17.280
it proper um they say labor's high share came at the expense of the other parties compared to the
01:16:26.560
polling except restore who met their polling numbers uh despite burnham's overperforming
01:16:33.620
weathering a storm can be impressive in its own right yeah yeah exactly uh so so burnham came in
01:16:39.020
with his b52 and his moab and he just so to so yeah every party was down i mean the bloody
01:16:49.440
conservatives got 2.2 percent i mean that that is well well below their their national polling
01:17:26.000
i couldn't possibly comment um he also says burnham is not a winner well he is he is in
01:17:36.820
makerfield uh but i he's not going to win the general bloody election is he now he also says
01:17:42.980
well he's he's machine gunning these uh these uh super chats in he says albert
01:18:02.120
um something wickedly also says uh dan blood pressure higher than cousin marriage actually
01:18:12.140
my blood pressure is quite quite good my blood pressure has always been surprisingly good
01:18:16.640
for whatever reason it can't be because of lifestyle it cannot i don't know what it is
01:18:22.900
maybe i've got a leak i've got a leak somewhere and the blood is just and that's why the pressure
01:18:28.900
is so low i don't understand i never understood why my blood pressure is is basically perfect
01:18:34.100
it i promise you it cannot be lifestyle or diet
01:18:51.280
a dollars is that aussie dollars could be um god you got up early to watch this
01:19:05.780
the 300 billion is supposedly investment funds from the gulf states not the u.s
0.99
01:19:12.660
i have seen a few videos on this explaining it to me like i'm an idiot uh yeah so that i mean
01:19:19.740
that's the workaround that it's going to come from the gulf states but what i mean what what
0.62
01:19:23.920
do the gulf states do they send tribute to the u.s all the time buying like military supplies i mean
01:19:32.820
they don't call it tribute they don't they don't like send a bloody sultan with his
01:19:37.320
sultany stuff on wearing carrying a big box of treasure and dump it at the feet of the
01:19:42.800
god emperor in washington but they do pay tribute by buying a vast amount of unnecessary stuff from
01:19:50.680
america so it is so easy to do the accounting of just okay well instead of doing that and instead
01:19:56.460
of buying another f-15 or these bloody um air air coolers for some data center that you're setting
01:20:04.500
up you know rather than channeling money to the donor class because american politics is run for
01:20:10.700
the donor class you know the haliburtons and all the rest of it instead of getting them to pay the
01:20:15.620
tribute to the donors so the donors can donate it to the political parties instead of doing all of
01:20:20.540
that um they're just going to send it to iran from the gulf states but it okay it's not coming
01:20:28.000
from the us but it otherwise would have gone to the us so it's it's an accounting bloody entry
01:20:34.980
um sam h says boomer vote for youth being fed to crocodiles
01:20:42.760
yes yes that that's that's that's been the case for about 30 years at this point
01:20:51.440
People get upset when I beat up on the boomers.
0.99
01:21:15.060
I'm old enough to remember the Bosnian Civil War
01:21:19.420
and other civil wars i can think of civil wars are bloody horrendous i really want to avoid that
01:21:25.340
really really want to avoid that happening in this country i i hope that we don't get into that spot
01:21:32.420
um oh god i've got to speed up otherwise i'm going to be doing this bloody lunchtime it's
01:21:40.800
already half past nine it's actually normal it's normal morning now
01:21:46.580
all right let's speed up um somebody sent me 100 shekels what's an s s e k there's somebody from
01:21:57.380
a country with 85 average turnout i'm surprised how low uk turnout is also seven percent for a
01:22:03.720
four month old party is really good i mean objectively when you stand back it is actually
01:22:07.280
really good um it's just that we had our expectations so high um ignore those haters
01:22:41.960
curated knowledge whenever bo's away we can look forward to our daily dose of and then
01:22:49.060
that's been blanked out with stars so whatever that was that was that was rude
01:22:55.380
but yes i don't know am i going to do this every time bo wants a holiday
01:23:00.220
it's bloody early but not now now it's proper morning now because i've waffled on so long
01:23:09.120
oh sorry you look like a johnny okay well that changes the context entirely
01:23:16.500
uh luke stewart uh says are you going to be on the podcast tonight it's going to feel like
01:23:25.060
tonight lunchtime is going to feel like tonight after waking up at the middle of the bloody night
01:23:29.440
um if so can you wear the cap and say nothing about why you're wearing it
01:23:34.760
um it is quite tight though because i've got a huge brain and i just it just felt it pulling so
01:23:42.800
i was quite happy to take it off at some point when i realized that one or two percent of the
01:23:48.660
chat had figured it out i don't know how must must have been i must have said a catchphrase wrong or
01:23:54.720
something um luke stewart also says by the way if you decide to plug brokernomics uh you have to
01:24:02.340
then say it again in a soft voice like an echo if you truly want to copy bow oh is that what he does
01:24:08.120
oh i i thought i was i thought it was yeah it must have been that that's why some people
01:24:14.200
saw through my disguise because i didn't i didn't do the soft voice thing all right there we go i
01:24:20.980
over next time uh luke steward uh for 15 aussie dollars says a good day dan and everyone no point
01:24:31.220
asking how everyone is since everyone seems to be quite upset from the election why don't you
01:24:36.340
cheer everybody up just reading some bbc pigeon you do it so well i forgot about b i should have
01:24:43.840
included bbc pigeon should have but mind you um i i rattled through the front door
01:24:50.600
um when we were very very close to having to go live and i was looking bleary-eyed and not happy
01:24:57.940
and i spent at least five minutes grumbling about how bloody early it was so yeah uh i
01:25:06.340
i mean next time sod it i just i just stay up all night it will genuinely be easier for me to stay
01:25:12.900
up all night and do that again all right uh mr dickie bingo uh says king bingo in the house
01:25:20.220
yes that's my twitter handle uh and then we got uh oh hang on there's global church history is
01:25:29.260
the you on the youtube am i supposed to read that one from the top unlike the other one which i read
01:25:42.900
oh okay well he's he's he's on the other one so if if the list is upside down on the youtube
01:25:48.920
version maybe he was first maybe i i slurred him unnecessarily um well anyway so he he's either
01:25:56.540
last or first probably first and i just don't know how to read this thing um oh dan hosting
01:26:04.160
an on this day in history moment oh dan hosting isn't on this day in history moment yes yes i
01:26:12.200
forgot to do the only day in history that's because i waffled on for so bloody long that
01:26:15.680
it's now half nine and all of you probably stopped watching because you've actually turned up to work
01:26:20.120
and are having to pretend to work at whatever the hell it is you'll do well unless you're in
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the public sector and then you're probably still just watching because nobody is going to pay any
01:26:29.200
attention to whether you're working or not um right i think that's it have i have i done
01:26:36.880
everything that i'm supposed to do harry all right um i can i can um what am i gonna do i think i
01:26:47.440
think i need a massive cooked breakfast to get me over this massive massive cooked breakfast
01:26:54.240
i've been just absurd frankly and maybe a beer is it too early can i can i work on airport
01:27:01.940
logic where you can have a beer in the morning i don't know i don't know anyway um yes so um
01:27:08.800
beau will be back on monday i hope i hope to god he's back on monday and um yeah keep your chin up
01:27:16.140
if you're a reform supporter we got off the beach
01:27:19.100
cost us if you're a reform supporter you've lost another bloody by-election
01:27:26.760
because you were pointing your guns in the wrong direction and if you labor um well congratulations
01:27:34.080
um you you managed to survive for another day so more children could be thrown into
01:27:39.440
crocodile pits you must be very pleased with yourself well done cheerio