The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters - Breakfast With Beau ｜ Friday 19th June 2026

00:00:00.000 You

00:00:15.040 You

00:00:22.120 You

00:00:24.120 Wantle

00:00:30.000 you all right

00:00:32.520 I hope so

00:00:35.720 because it's bloody early isn't it

00:00:38.340 back when I used to work at RBS

00:00:43.700 or was it layman's

00:00:45.140 or wherever the hell it was I worked

00:00:46.560 I was used to getting up

00:00:49.800 at 7 o'clock in the morning

00:00:50.920 because I was on the

00:00:51.840 I was on the sell side you see

00:00:54.780 sell side in finance

00:00:56.820 brokers all those people

00:00:57.940 they get up really bloody early

00:00:59.140 not like my colleague like i don't know dan or something he was on the buy side fund managers

00:01:07.460 venture capitalists those guys famously don't get into the office until about 11 if not lunchtime

00:01:14.420 all right and then they do a few trades and then they and then they go to the pub until 2am

00:01:19.460 so for some people this is silly o'clock in the morning but no for me that's it's no it's fine

00:01:25.860 It's fine

00:01:26.420 So it's

00:01:29.180 It's bright on this lovely

00:01:32.960 This lovely early morning

00:01:35.700 Friday the 19th of June

00:01:39.080 Year of our Lord 2026

00:01:40.660 And you're joining me

00:01:43.900 Bodade for the Bo Show

00:01:46.420 You are my band of brothers

00:01:50.580 Chosen for you

00:01:53.100 Oh God

00:01:55.280 uh harry how are you yeah morning i'm all right all right that's uh the voice of the

00:02:02.100 all-powerful producer this early in the bloody morning

00:02:05.980 actually have a bit of that one 0.89

00:02:18.240 right should we stop faffing about fannying around

00:02:33.120 fannying around he's not fannying around it's i'm trying to wake up

00:02:37.600 it's not it's not funny i'm gen i'm genuinely i had to get up at quarter past the middle of

00:02:44.480 bloody night to be here uh but okay fine fine whatever we've got a show to do haven't we

00:02:50.400 you can't let a little thing like not actually being awake stop us from

00:02:57.280 the important news of the day um so

00:03:04.240 you're the best people on earth blah blah blah blah um let's talk about what's going on

00:03:11.200 i'll tell you what i'm going to start with rather than going to that cabal of um

00:03:17.200 fleet street nutters because they're just going to be talking about yesterday's stuff

00:03:22.640 i mean the whole point of a newspaper i mean the clue is in the name new

00:03:29.280 supposed to be new but it's yesterday's news let's talk about today's news let's talk about

00:03:34.560 the uh the the makerfield uh by-election shall we right um can they see that harry oh there we go

00:03:44.560 there we go so the results are in for the makerfield by-election and it and it turns out

00:03:51.760 after all that the only thing that matters is um are you a member of the labor party

00:04:04.560 And if you are, are you not Keir Starmer?

00:04:09.400 That was the only thing that mattered in the end.

00:04:13.120 Labour, 55%.

00:04:16.300 55 bloody percent.

00:04:22.640 An outright clear majority for Labour.

00:04:26.740 now in fairness right we probably shouldn't have been massively surprised by that because this is

00:04:36.860 an area i mean i think i think makerfield's been around since like the 80s or something

00:04:41.140 and and and makerfield has always been labor

00:04:45.400 and then before that i think most of what is now makerfield was in ince

00:04:52.700 the constituency, something like that

00:04:54.860 and that

00:04:57.200 had been Labour since

00:04:59.040 the Labour Party was founded

00:05:00.860 going back to 1906

00:05:03.300 alright

00:05:03.880 so it turns out

00:05:07.300 that

00:05:08.840 Andy Burnham knew what he was doing

00:05:11.000 when he picked a constituency

00:05:13.440 that had been

00:05:15.060 Labour

00:05:15.500 forever

00:05:17.480 that had always always been labor it turned out that it was a winning strategy to pick a seat

00:05:31.320 but has never voted for anyone else ever so there's that um we ought to look at the rest

00:05:41.220 of the uh the rest of the results though so reform reform did oh god it's early

00:05:50.100 how do you how do you people do this get up at this hour

00:05:59.300 so reform they managed to pull off a second not a win that's another by-election they've lost

00:06:06.740 getting a bit worrying reform they um they keep on not winning die elections

00:06:19.160 um i mean i suppose they've got an excuse here that this is just a

00:06:25.000 it is obviously just a massive massive labor stronghold but um

00:06:29.180 they got was it 15 000 votes 35 of the vote um at first blush you might think that's not

00:06:39.760 too bad but let's have a look at the um the the makerfield local elections

00:06:45.720 we see the local elections zoom in on that bit

00:06:52.360 so the change between the last local elections labor massively up

00:06:59.860 massively up uh since the last local elections and you can't even see restore there the till

00:07:06.100 bar at the end that is going all the way down can we see it better on that one oh there we go

00:07:09.600 yeah so it's the right hand side of this i think it's chopped off the bottom of it can we

00:07:15.960 producer harry can we can we zoom out a little bit on that one to show the change

00:07:19.320 oh there we go that's it so since the last local elections reform are down 16 so it's a bloody

00:07:27.480 awful night for them um not good at all but to be fair the greens are down 10 points as well

00:07:36.540 so uh yeah people i mean what this is is this is this is this is this is this is this is labor in

00:07:46.700 their death throes and i mean the tories are already dead everybody's nobody talks about the

00:07:53.080 tories anymore everybody's given up on the tories they're they're an ex-party but what labor are

00:07:59.080 doing they're in their death throes and they're spasming at this point clutching hoping grasping

00:08:06.040 for life hoping that this burnham chap is going to come along and save them and they obviously

00:08:12.200 really really want it so the left was like yeah sod the green party yeah we're coming home to

00:08:19.260 labor because frankly if burnham doesn't save us nobody will and he won't we get onto the newspapers

00:08:25.360 in a minute and um yeah there's no fixing this so not good at all um restore new party

00:08:38.840 seven percent of the vote i'm a bit disappointed with that

00:08:45.480 um when you got first place getting 55 of the vote though

00:08:53.880 i can i can there's lots of there's lots of silver lining in that cloud but it is disappointing

00:08:59.560 i won't i won't run away from that um

00:09:02.880 we were obviously hoping for higher i was hoping for something in the low 20s

00:09:09.600 you know at least the teens uh but it didn't get there but it is a new party

00:09:18.240 and this is the first westminster election that it's that it's gone for so if you think about the

00:09:28.220 early days of

00:09:29.860 Nigel Farage's attempts to get into Parliament

00:09:34.120 and do by-elections. He did a lot.

00:09:36.260 He did a lot of by-elections.

00:09:38.160 I think he started

00:09:39.080 with

00:09:40.740 a place called Eastleigh.

00:09:46.300 Eastleigh by-election in 1994.

00:09:49.020 And there's a funny story there,

00:09:50.340 a bit of history. You know I like a bit of history.

00:09:51.980 I've got a Masters in History or something like that.

00:09:54.280 Was it a degree? I don't know.

00:09:55.880 Can't remember now. Anyway.

00:09:58.220 this is history so in 1994 there was a conservative mp and younger people won't

00:10:03.140 know this but it is a funny story anyway the conservative mp was found dead um with a plastic

00:10:09.180 bag over his head um a black bin bag over his head with an orange in his mouth and a budgie

00:10:15.920 flying around inside you think i'm joking i'm actually not right he he was into this um auto

00:10:23.440 erotic asphyxiation or something uh not my kind of thing

00:10:29.760 i don't know what's wrong with a with a prim young lass but uh that was the sort of thing he

00:10:34.320 was into and anyway if if one of your mps dies with a plastic bag over his head and a budgie

00:10:41.040 and an orange in his mouth then you're going to uh need a a new one so in 1994 there was a

00:10:47.920 a by-election in Eastleigh and Nigel Farage ran in that and he got like one and a half percent of

00:10:54.280 the vote which was a bit disappointing and then he in 1997 he had to go at Salisbury and he got

00:11:02.560 like five percent and then in 2001 he had to go at Bexley I think it was or no Bexhill no Bexhill

00:11:12.760 bexley's in london bex hill he had a go at um and he got seven percent so there you go so it took him

00:11:20.600 uh 10 years to get to where restore got to in their in their first outing so um

00:11:31.720 the so yes it is it is a bit lower than we were hoping but without doubt restore are absolutely

00:11:38.200 speed running the insurgency playbook now the question remains is can they continue to do

00:11:47.060 what Nigel Farage took decades to do in

00:11:53.040 a quarter what are they like 120 days in now so they're a quarter of a year in

00:12:01.640 and they replicated what farage took 10 years to do if that is true then

00:12:10.360 that's a nice strong position to come back from the other thing i'd say

00:12:16.660 is is look at how suppressed all these rates these vote shares are this this is just overwhelmingly

00:12:22.140 labor perhaps not surprisingly uh it's a labor stronghold so if restore are on seven percent

00:12:29.220 here they are most definitely not on seven percent nationally it it's at i mean at minimum

00:12:35.940 it's something like 10 12 nationally so i think the polling companies after coming a a solid third

00:12:43.620 place here the polling companies are gonna have to start prompting for restore and uh you'll see

00:12:49.220 what their their real vote share is and it's probably going to be 10 12 something like that

00:12:53.860 conservatives um i don't think i think they would have lost their deposit on that yeah they would

00:13:03.760 have lost their deposit with their two percent of the vote oldest political party in the world

00:13:10.000 ladies and gentlemen two percent greens um it turns out greens can only win if you have a lot

00:13:17.720 of students and a lot of new Britons and you have to campaign to them in Urdu or whatever

00:13:32.500 the other one is Pashtun or something you know the Star Wars languages so greens are 0.64

00:13:44.120 excellent spoilers uh if you have been invaded by either the new britons or students terrifying

00:13:53.400 thought in either case um so greens they lost their deposit as well liberal democrats oh do

00:13:59.000 you remember them older viewers will remember the liberal democrats they used to be a party um

00:14:05.320 163 votes the candidate could have gone out afterwards and thanked all of them personally

00:14:14.100 and it wouldn't have delayed his breakfast by much 0.4 percent so yes very disappointing for

00:14:22.520 everybody who isn't labor so um given that what's going to happen now well

00:14:29.280 Andy Burnham is going to go sailing into Westminster um he's almost I mean Labour

00:14:37.020 MPs are going to see this this is our this is our one hope this is our chance to end extinction

00:14:43.580 and almost certainly I think he's going to take it now with a result like this behind him this

00:14:51.700 shows momentum people in politics are bloody love momentum Labour MPs will be thinking this can say

00:14:56.620 I mean, this might actually be strong enough that Keir Starmer doesn't even contest it. 0.95

00:15:04.020 I mean, he probably will because he's a belligerent bugger and he's a Fabian 0.94

00:15:07.780 and he's spent his whole life trying to get into this position 0.98

00:15:10.320 where he can do as much harm as possible to the country in the time that he's got.

00:15:14.880 But nevertheless, he will come under considerable pressure

00:15:17.300 to just step aside and anoint Andy Burnham.

00:15:20.980 he probably won't but he will come under considerable pressure to do that so a bloody

00:15:27.740 awful night um for everyone who is not Andy Burnham very very very bad night

00:15:36.360 the Keir Starmer so uh so yes that happened

00:15:42.620 it was a total total wipeout right okay fair enough

00:15:50.980 Um, we ought to look at the papers, shouldn't we, to document the ever-continuing decline of this once great nation.

00:16:07.500 What fresh hells have been unleashed upon us in this once green and pleasant land where you go out,

00:16:16.660 have a cup of tea with the vicar, play some cricket, then have some sandwiches, possibly 1.00

00:16:24.740 with a cuss to cut off. What has happened to the state of Britain yesterday, apart from 1.00

00:16:34.120 the Makerfield election? All right, let's start off with a telegraph, shall we? Basically

00:16:39.820 the reformer graph these days all right what have we got boy three thrown to crocodiles

00:16:53.100 okay then

00:16:57.980 okay a three-year-old boy

00:17:03.500 thrown crocodiles

00:17:09.820 I mean this is just

00:17:12.140 as a father of two

00:17:18.320 how precious your children are

00:17:22.480 to see some

00:17:24.460 random man

00:17:25.760 walk up and for his

00:17:28.520 amusement

00:17:29.240 I mean god

00:17:32.580 sakes it was bad enough in Belfast

00:17:34.200 where 1.00

00:17:34.760 a Sudanese chap

00:17:38.640 found a guy who was deaf 1.00

00:17:42.400 and thought that it would be incredibly funny 1.00

00:17:46.200 to blind him

00:17:47.720 he just thought that was the funniest thing he could think of

00:17:53.840 Oriona White

00:17:57.320 who was stabbed in the face 23 times with a screwdriver and died

00:18:02.080 and the guy who did it

00:18:04.680 I forget where he was from

00:18:06.440 He thought it was hilarious

00:18:09.520 He was seen in hysterics

00:18:13.360 Afterwards

00:18:14.260 He went back to celebrate

00:18:15.880 Back to his taxpayer funded hotel

00:18:18.920 We don't yet know who did this

00:18:21.220 Because the police aren't telling us

00:18:22.740 They are just coming out

00:18:27.940 And asking everybody not to speculate

00:18:29.860 Now I have heard rumours

00:18:32.220 That it's actually

00:18:32.960 It's a mentalist

00:18:36.440 mentalist on day release you know you sometimes see these people and they're being

00:18:40.360 they're being uh they're being taken out of a secure facility

00:18:45.060 because of course we can't have asylums anymore

00:18:48.380 uh because that was mean no what we've got to do is we've got to do care in the community

00:18:54.940 and we've got to take um dangerous unhinged mentalists and basically just um shoo them

00:19:03.400 around your kids because it's because that's better somehow so I've heard rumors that it's

00:19:10.680 it's a mentalist uh not a not a non but um I don't know I don't know because nobody is saying

00:19:18.180 anything apart from the police who are just saying please don't speculate you know don't don't pay

00:19:23.020 no attention to this don't listen don't worry it's all part and parcel of living in modern Britain

00:19:32.260 the end days of the progressive liberal hegemon

00:19:40.840 you know I like a bit of Rome did classics degree or something like that and

00:19:49.940 one of the things are you know one of the things they tell you all these the pop culture versions

00:19:56.260 the bad historians they say you know in in in the in the late roman empire quite often people

00:20:03.160 didn't realize that they were in the late roman empire they just thought they were in the roman

00:20:07.280 empire they didn't they didn't realize it was collapsing around them and i've always wondered

00:20:11.880 is that really true because it is very clear to me that we are in the late stages of the progressive

00:20:19.020 liberal era

00:20:20.960 it's falling apart

00:20:24.740 and what do you have to worry about now

00:20:29.120 you have to worry about if you go to the zoo

00:20:31.440 a random man will spot that you have a small child

00:20:35.640 and think it's hilarious

00:20:37.140 pick them up and throw them into a crocodile enclosure

00:20:42.180 god can you imagine being the parent when that happened

00:20:46.700 and what have you got another child with you what do you do do you do you immediately dive in

00:20:55.020 or do you protect the other child you can't take the other child with you into a bloody

00:20:59.400 crocodile enclosure

00:21:01.100 but nevertheless the good people of makerfield bless their heart

00:21:12.860 they looked at britain they looked at the sudanese man gouging out the eyes of a deaf man

00:21:20.780 they looked at riona white they looked at south pot they looked at they looked at this

00:21:28.220 and they thought yeah fair enough

00:21:31.120 yep why not let's have a bit more of this maybe maybe if we maybe if we change the leader

00:21:42.860 at the top of the Labour Party.

00:21:47.540 Maybe we can do this,

00:21:50.900 but better.

00:21:54.780 We get

00:21:55.680 Andy

00:21:57.920 Bumham Burnham,

00:22:00.260 King of the North, first of his name,

00:22:02.580 no Sternum Burnham,

00:22:04.200 wearing his guyliner.

00:22:07.320 Maybe that's

00:22:08.360 just the twist we need

00:22:09.840 in order 0.95

00:22:12.500 to to do this stabby stabby blow up screwdriver in face machete at a dance concert boys thrown

00:22:21.380 to crocodile but do it but do it well i'm honestly uh i'm i'm not impressed people

00:22:36.420 of makerfield at the moment not impressed

00:22:46.340 we are sharing a nation with people that think that you just need to

00:22:53.620 spit on it rub it a bit and the and the labor party is going to be as good as new

00:22:58.260 yeah yeah i don't think so anyway back to the papers then right daily telegraph boy three

00:23:25.400 thrown to crocodile toddler in critical condition after he is pushed into an enclosure by a stranger

00:23:31.640 at the zoo yeah i expect this is going to be on all the paper i haven't seen because i got here like

00:23:37.040 a minute after i was supposed to be live so yeah um right what the sun got

00:23:46.200 they gone for a pun they gone for a clever pun no they haven't

00:23:52.200 Codler critical, boy three thrown to crocs at the zoo

00:23:57.120 Man 30 held for murder bid

00:24:00.720 The son carries a similar headline, boy three thrown to crocs at the zoo

00:24:05.480 According to the paper, he is believed to have suffered a serious arm injury

00:24:11.020 Good Lord

00:24:14.440 Can you imagine the trauma

00:24:19.480 The trauma

00:24:21.960 when my kids were little 1.00

00:24:26.520 you couldn't get them to oh bugger i haven't got kids have i oh fuck it fine okay 0.99

00:24:36.420 yeah it was actually me all along bows off for the day i was in disguise 1.00

00:24:47.220 um let me know in the comments if you could tell the difference

00:24:49.940 uh i i i slipped up there i mentioned i had kids and he doesn't so uh yeah all right

00:24:57.820 anyway so i had kids when i was um well right my kids are a little bit grown up now and um

00:25:07.300 yeah in order to get little kids to sleep you have to reassure them

00:25:12.700 that there are no monsters like lurking in the cupboards or under the bed or something

00:25:18.560 and i always uh took the took the view that it was basically impossible to convince a small child

00:25:28.580 that there's um there's no monsters because they they're just it's it's it's genetically programmed

00:25:38.420 in from the earliest days of our species to be like there are monsters and so i never bothered

00:25:45.640 telling me that there were no such thing as monsters i just used to tell them yeah there

00:25:49.520 are monsters but there won't be any here because they're too afraid of me and that actually settled

00:25:54.200 them down so little kids are just terrified of bloody monsters and imagine normally you get past

00:26:03.120 that as a little kid but imagine actually meeting one and it mauling your arm

00:26:08.360 the level of trauma is is unimaginable but yeah anyway

00:26:16.240 um yeah the chat is going wild right now they uh my disguise had everybody fooled

00:26:26.920 you didn't know that about me did you didn't know that i was a master of disguise

00:26:31.800 the reason i've got the bald cap is because um i owed bo a favor and about six months ago um

00:26:39.880 he he um he had something he wanted to do so i attended his brother's wedding for him

00:26:44.680 as him um i think i pulled it off i think i pulled it off so uh yeah

00:26:52.580 no it's me it's dan bo is in bo is in makerfield at the moment uh he he would have gone to the

00:27:01.340 because he couldn't get into the count in fact most most of the people that you know the the

00:27:06.880 charlie downs is and the the harrison pits and the lewis and all the rest of them they they didn't

00:27:13.260 actually go to the count the count's a bit boring though you basically just get a whole load you get

00:27:16.720 like a sports hall all laid out and they bring in the votes and they they they put them all into

00:27:23.200 nice neat piles and then of whatever it is no they snow they sort them out they sort them out

00:27:29.020 into the different into stacks so you open the box it all comes out and they're like okay well

00:27:35.920 that's a you know that's a labor one and then that's a labor one and then that's a labor one

00:27:39.540 and then that's a labor one and then that's a labor one and that's a reform one and you basically

00:27:44.120 just get them in and and separate them out and then you count them into batches of 50 you put

00:27:49.460 a rubber band around them and you put it on a table in the middle so as the night goes on you

00:27:54.420 can see how how long the piles are growing and that's that's why you get news out of of by

00:28:01.060 elections as to who's winning nobody has any numbers but you can just you can physically see

00:28:04.840 the pile growing um and so he didn't he didn't but he didn't go to the count but all the reform guys

00:28:13.660 they um uh they took over a pub and and the idea was that uh when restore one with 78 of the vote

00:28:26.040 or whatever it is we're hoping for um then then we could get we we could sort of film everybody

00:28:32.660 celebrating and an instant reaction it didn't work out like that it turned out that literally

00:28:38.540 the only thing that mattered is are you a member of the Labour Party and are you not Keir Starmer

00:28:47.100 anyway yeah anyway back to uh back to the back to the papers all right what

00:28:54.700 have the rest of them got the Daily Mail

00:29:00.220 make it up as you go Daily Mail they're going with the toddler horror story as well

00:29:08.540 we're in the trash zone now the sun the mail i think it was the mail i think it was i i remember

00:29:17.500 being in the mail once this was this was years ago when i was i was i was doing the westminster

00:29:23.160 stuff and uh older members uh of of of of the program they they will remember there's a guy

00:29:30.940 called michael bortillo and he and he was running to be leader of the conservative party after um

00:29:40.180 oh who was it who was it william haig william haig so william haig um basically um crashed and burned

00:29:48.460 and then it was like who's going to be leader now and um a lot of us rallied i mean so i was

00:29:54.720 working for michael bortillo as a young lad this was straight out of university in fact i don't

00:29:59.960 think I'd even finish university at this point I was just I was just it was like a summer break

00:30:05.140 or something so I went down to Westminster and helped out on the Patello campaign and anyway

00:30:11.780 so we got a large check of like whatever it was um like 25 grand and it was it was too much it

00:30:19.900 broke the spending rules or something like that so they so I they gave it to me and I put it in

00:30:24.060 my pocket and I had to I had to trudge across London to to give it back to this guy and say

00:30:29.720 yeah thanks very much but but no thanks anyway while i'm while i'm at the uh the tube station

00:30:34.900 uh i think it was a daily mail it was one of these um i see that this guy had apparently

00:30:40.560 donated 150 grand or something and i'm literally stood there with a copy of the daily mail in one

00:30:48.980 hand and the check in the other hand and it's like no that's that's that's not right that's not right

00:30:54.780 that they had managed to get a bit of a story and then they had just made it up from there

00:31:00.660 and exaggerated um and that was the first time i really realized that whatever you read in the

00:31:06.860 papers is is at least exaggerated if not wrong or made up entirely and every other time i have had

00:31:15.320 any dealings with newspapers um i every single time that i personally have known the other side

00:31:23.460 of the story i've known that they're talking shit so uh this is why i don't put an enormous

00:31:30.340 amount of stock in what um what newspapers say 90 percent of the time because they literally 0.94

00:31:35.300 make stuff up um but this one uh they're just going with the toddler stuff so fine

00:31:42.420 and then they got something about holly goes lightly white for ladies day at ascot who the

00:31:48.460 hell is holly why why do we have a mid in white anyone

00:32:02.220 no idea no idea right the star

00:32:07.980 right everything i was just saying about just making up

00:32:11.100 oh they've they've got the holly story the mid in white um yeah boy three throwing crop cages

00:32:21.900 uh they got something about football i don't know about football i don't care for

00:32:26.380 football right they gone with that financial times what have they got they got something interesting

00:32:31.740 um i used to subscribe to the ft have it delivered every morning so that i could read

00:32:38.060 it on my way into work um communist as hell which is weird you think you think financial stuff would

00:32:46.540 be wouldn't be massively communist but no of course it was uh bank of england keeps rates at 3.75

00:32:54.540 after iran peace deal lowers oil price right 3.75 historically low but for the last 30 years

00:33:06.780 at the end of the

00:33:08.700 in the dying days of the

00:33:10.900 of the liberal progressive

00:33:12.840 era, liberal progressive

00:33:14.720 hegemon

00:33:15.220 we have taken the idea that everything will be

00:33:18.780 okay if you just make money cheap enough

00:33:20.720 and people think

00:33:24.760 that 3.75% is a

00:33:26.600 high rate, okay, fine 0.64

00:33:28.620 bugger all, but whatever

00:33:31.960 and they've got a picture of Andy Burnham

00:33:34.860 stood

00:33:36.320 in front of those weird pictures that weird cartoon picture of his that makes him look like 0.92

00:33:42.320 a member of the kim jong-un family all right

00:33:47.800 they don't mention crocodiles at all oh and this is that's an interesting story actually this one

00:33:55.740 rape convictions under review after detective allegedly used ai chatbot yeah so this is the

00:34:02.400 story i don't know we covered it on the on the podcast but you you had this you had this uh

00:34:07.340 copper chap and um it's long been suspected that what the police do is they just want an easy

00:34:15.560 conviction they don't give a damn if you're guilty or not well unless you're unless you're

00:34:26.680 melanated but if you're not melanated uh they they just want they just want to they just want

00:34:32.100 to clinch it they just they just want to get you in the clink get their detections which is what

00:34:39.440 i think they call their like their token system in the police you get a detection or whatever it

00:34:43.680 is you you get a conviction um then then you're good it looks good on your numbers you don't get

00:34:50.800 a bonus or anything but somebody pats you on the head at the end of the year and says yeah you've

00:34:55.700 got lots of the things that we were looking for you you've you've secured your kpis anyway so this

00:35:02.020 detective thought

00:35:04.180 okay fair enough what I'll do is

00:35:06.140 I'll go on AI and I'll just

00:35:08.160 generate the evidence that I need to

00:35:10.100 get people convicted

00:35:11.500 yep

00:35:27.860 that's where we are

00:35:32.020 The eye paper.

00:35:34.240 He likes the eye paper, doesn't he, Bo?

00:35:37.580 Not sure why, but he does.

00:35:42.880 Crocodile in a box up there.

00:35:45.220 Heatwave alert.

00:35:47.820 Really?

00:35:49.540 Bloody well hope so.

00:35:52.040 Air conditioning is expensive to get fitted

00:35:54.200 to a five-bedroom house.

00:35:56.580 So I demand conditions that I have to use it

00:36:00.540 for at least one or two weeks a year because otherwise how can i how can i be smugly superior 0.60

00:36:06.900 to people who haven't got it um i suppose the rest of you just open your bloody windows or

00:36:12.900 something and enjoy it but whatever anyway so uh heat wave will work uh moscow's burning

00:36:18.980 because they're saying a drone or possibly a a air interceptor from the russian side hit

00:36:26.200 something that went boom i mean it is a war isn't it so right uh cost of living hope for uk as oil

00:36:35.480 flows again in the gulf oh yeah so yeah the persian situation so trump has declared victory

00:36:47.720 for returning

00:36:50.760 the Straits of Hormuz to being open

00:36:54.760 just like they were

00:36:56.180 before he attacked

00:36:58.100 brilliant

00:37:00.680 brilliant

00:37:01.760 like I said there's now like a 30

00:37:03.980 was it a 300 billion pound bill 0.99

00:37:07.120 the Iranians are going to get 300 billion

00:37:11.060 is that right?

00:37:14.160 a third of a trillion

00:37:15.520 right

00:37:17.480 anyway well done well done donald

00:37:21.840 all right the times the venerable times

00:37:27.620 uh starmer amasses war chest to fight off leadership challenge

00:37:33.000 right how is money going to help him is he is he just literally going to be bribing the mps

00:37:39.260 uh they've got the crocodile story there on the bloody time so which one is would you consider

00:37:46.840 the headline is it the one at the head of the paper or is it the one in the biggest font

00:37:55.960 it's not i suppose that's the headline but it's not at the head of the paper it's just bigger

00:38:03.400 well we all like bigger don't we so the headline is is actually uk wastes billions

00:38:08.600 paying too much for big projects yeah like replacing the native population that's really 0.98

00:38:15.640 expensive and it's a shit idea and billions i think would be an understatement for how much 0.77

00:38:24.840 that is going to cost us i think it's going to cost us it could cost us everything but yeah um 0.98

00:38:31.160 what what what in particular they talk about transport scheme 65 pricier than oh i don't get

00:38:38.760 I don't care, whatever, go away.

00:38:42.560 The Guardian.

00:38:47.560 The Guardian.

00:38:59.560 Beau has disdain for the Guardian, doesn't he?

00:39:03.680 I have disdain for the Guardian. 0.83

00:39:07.700 don't like it much it's uh i mean it's just kind of dirty and smelly isn't it

00:39:18.900 you find yourself backpacking through jakarta you go to a local nightclub

00:39:27.700 you see a man in his 60s

00:39:31.860 in a hawaiian shirt looking like a three-day corpse 0.90

00:39:38.580 rolling around the nightclub eyeing up the local totty dirty dirty 0.99

00:39:50.660 i know why you're there dirty old man that's the guardian 0.97

00:39:56.820 we don't like the guardian do we anyway well the guardian what what have they got to say for 0.56

00:40:00.500 for themselves um right it says britain could rejoin eu on special terms says ex-broke brexit 0.99

00:40:10.920 negotiator oh for god's sakes guardian pull your head out your ass you're still going on about 0.99

00:40:19.600 bloody brexit still 1.00

00:40:22.780 the world this country is falling a bloody part

00:40:31.500 it's a basket case people are being blinded in the streets

00:40:38.280 little kids are being thrown into crocodile pits

00:40:42.000 and hacked apart at 0.99

00:40:43.540 and they're still banging on about bloody brexit god you absolute bunch of 0.95

00:41:01.100 i don't know something mild toss pots can't be too rude it's breakfast people might have this 0.99

00:41:11.360 on with the kids around silly people they they are silly people at the guardian all of this 0.88

00:41:19.500 everything that's going on in the country and anyway right moscow hit by biggest ukrainian 0.99

00:41:28.480 yeah because everybody who reads the sodding guardian has got a bloody ukraine flag up in 0.84

00:41:35.000 garden haven't they right the express it's a good paper

00:41:45.880 right well they got they've got stay out of eu and cut taxes to back global britain

00:41:56.680 right well i mean it's a start isn't it it's a start

00:42:05.000 i mean that doesn't that doesn't really get you there does it i mean it is a start yes

00:42:12.440 you don't you don't unwind brexit yes correct you cut tax yes you do cut taxes what else do you do

00:42:21.420 well you you you you bin off 90 of wealth unless unless you are properly disabled and by that i 0.57

00:42:30.960 don't mean that you're um a pakistani origin estate agent who's realized he can get a new 0.52

00:42:36.860 merc on the mobility scheme yeah i don't mean that i mean if if if you are properly properly 0.71

00:42:43.560 disabled yeah we can keep that bit of welfare right the rest of it it can sod off right

00:42:49.140 right and pensions well we're not doing this triple lock thing no we're putting the age up 0.66

00:42:54.780 to in bows britain dan's we whoever i am at the moment right bloody pensions triple lock can piss

00:43:02.100 off pension age will be like 75 or something like because it was supposed the pension age

00:43:09.420 originally was was like 15 years higher than life expectancy right and now it's like whatever it is

00:43:16.560 like 65 and then people live on to their sodding 90s and they get a bloody triple lock on it no

00:43:22.460 we're not doing that well and then what else are we doing right so we we well nhs yeah you're

00:43:29.100 sorting that out you can bloody pay fees to go to the gp like they do in the rest of the world

00:43:36.380 which is why their health system doesn't collapse because people think twice before they spam it 0.91

00:43:42.080 make a number of other changes there and then and then the bloody immigration we're going to fix 1.00

00:43:47.360 that we're gonna what we're gonna do is we're gonna round them all up all right put them on a 0.82

00:43:52.300 plane plane's gonna take off and we're gonna fly to karachi or whatever it is lahore we're gonna fly

00:44:02.780 to lahore and we're gonna and we're gonna say to the the pakistani government would you like

00:44:08.100 these people back and they're gonna go uh no we're gonna go fair enough and we're gonna and

00:44:16.380 we're going to get over the um we're going to we're going to announce hello ladies and gentlemen

00:44:23.620 i hope you've been enjoying your british airways flight to lahore

00:44:28.200 as you know you are being repatriated why am i doing a mic i've got a mic um you are being

00:44:36.820 repatriated but your your government is not cooperating with this process we have lowered

00:44:43.180 the plane to 28,000 feet, please find a parachute under your seat, we will be opening the back of

00:44:52.320 the plane in a few minutes, you will struggle to breathe unless you get below 15,000 feet in the

00:44:59.760 next 90 seconds, all of the best, please don't fly with us again. So yes, yes Express, we do start off

00:45:13.180 we've not rejoining the eu and cutting taxes but it goes a little bit further than that

00:45:18.140 right okay okay what else have we got the mirror

00:45:21.740 the mirror pm back sam's law together we can saves lives he'd do whatever he can to help the

00:45:33.180 mirror campaign after water tragedies um so is this i'm less familiar with this this mirror

00:45:43.600 campaign sport that came after water safety campaign after 19 people drowned in a heat

00:45:49.640 wave earlier this year yeah because yeah i mean the issue here is that the young boys

00:45:55.720 it gets a bit hot and they go and just jump in bloody quarry lakes and stuff

00:46:00.900 and they don't realise that these quarry lakes are really sodding deep

00:46:04.840 and so even when it's hot

00:46:06.700 it can actually be surprisingly cold

00:46:11.160 in the middle of one of these quarry lakes

00:46:13.160 and then you get into difficulty

00:46:15.220 and because it's quite cold your muscles go into shock

00:46:17.960 and you're just sodding sink in them

00:46:19.380 so if you have a young boy

00:46:22.380 tell him not to swim in a quarry lake

00:46:26.040 I think that's what it's referring to

00:46:28.300 I could be wrong

00:46:28.920 but yeah down the road from me we've got a quarry lake and like every 10 years a young

00:46:35.720 boy drowns in it because they think why why shouldn't i swim in it it's like a pool but outside

00:46:41.020 the metro 1.00

00:46:43.040 the metro coming onto my screen the metro really is the cheap gypsy tart of the of the papers world 1.00

00:46:56.520 isn't it and they've got a picture of an african and they say you're going to be the one that saves 1.00

00:47:03.080 us right what what the hell why what the hell are they talking about 1.00

00:47:11.640 was it a football thing oh it's world cup oh god i don't care about your stupid kicky ball game 1.00

00:47:22.900 right anyway oh that's done right that's done how are we doing for time am i supposed to be 0.99

00:47:28.100 doing the comments now i i've got 10 minutes but i thought we were supposed to finish at nine

00:47:41.360 or can i go over will the will they object if i go over all right okay fine all right let's see

00:47:50.520 what else we got lined up on the links uh yeah a bit of makerfield yeah bloody awful unless you're

00:47:59.040 andy burnham yeah right uh right what else we got oh yeah here we go um oil price

00:48:06.880 am i supposed to be able to read that hang on a minute

00:48:14.120 oh there we go seven uh wti is 75 dollars a barrel that is extraordinary isn't it

00:48:25.740 how the hell did they manage to manipulate the markets to keep it below 100 for most of this

00:48:33.080 time now down to 75 they must have been shelling oil out of every reserve they could find

00:48:39.940 all right so oil remarkably low all right fair enough well done i mean i mean i mean seriously

00:48:49.040 well done to trump because he started a completely unnecessary war he spent third of a trillion to

00:48:54.900 get back where he started but at least he did keep oil prices low during that time so you know

00:48:59.240 all right uh you tidied up after yourself i'll give you that we got the bbc here with a picture

00:49:07.700 of a smug burnham with his north korean haircut right okay oh good lord would you look at that

00:49:17.560 i want to do karate throat strike to that just on general principle smug 0.67

00:49:27.140 can i say twat is it i can't say twat um everybody's looking up in these photos 0.61

00:49:36.260 trump's looking up at an iran deal yep splendid whatever um andy burnham wins 0.62

00:49:43.340 um what's going on here is that macron speaking to a footballer or something

00:49:48.800 or david lammy who knows who knows yeah andy burnham what's this oh we got the daily mail

00:49:58.080 oh this is a fun story you know um eva verdinkerbrook

00:50:04.080 one of the hottest women i have ever seen 1.00

00:50:09.060 yeah she wasn't allowed in the country was she no we couldn't have her in 1.00

00:50:18.800 We could have made good use of her. 0.99

00:50:22.020 I could have. 0.86

00:50:23.880 But no, she wasn't allowed in. 0.88

00:50:27.400 But no. 0.99

00:50:28.740 No, there was a Jamaican paedophile.

00:50:34.580 Either of those two words by themselves should be disqualifying.

00:50:39.240 Put them together, and I would say that is a hard no.

00:50:45.240 No, we don't want that person.

00:50:47.140 But no. 0.97

00:50:48.800 A judge looked at the Jamaican paedophile and thought, yes.

00:50:56.980 It would breach their human rights if they were not allowed to enter Britain.

00:51:06.880 Harry, am I allowed to say what I would like to do to judges in this country?

00:51:10.480 All right, what would I like to do to judges?

00:51:40.480 Well, I think you know, don't you? I think during that dramatic pause, I think you worked

00:51:58.800 it out, didn't you? Suggestions in the chat. There we go, we've got chat down there. How

00:52:08.800 does beau see how does he see anything the writing is bloody tiny

00:52:16.480 i'm not that much older than him oh look oh harry made it big well done harry you made it big

00:52:25.760 um yeah yeah that stuff all of that yes especially that one um liam um yes yeah all of that

00:52:36.640 that's what we should do to judges

00:52:39.040 right oh here we go there's a there is a picture of the jamaican paedophile

00:52:45.560 we yeah there we go

00:52:48.640 either the dinkerbrook no this guy on all span spence yeah okay okay oh what did he oh he um 0.99

00:53:02.560 oh he he sexually assaulted a 15 year old girl yeah oh he fit right in then 0.92

00:53:08.380 yep splendid splendid splendid splendid and uh the express yeah yeah burnham one we know 0.99

00:53:18.000 burnham yeah burnham burnham go away burnham

00:53:21.040 oh we got the mond

00:53:24.720 talking of france talking of france right so this lass

00:53:31.040 um so so there she is she's a french girl and um is it i think it was a tunisian 0.98

00:53:40.860 um forced his way into her flat and uh sexually assaulted or raped or whatever he did and um 0.65

00:53:49.700 yeah so that's pretty bad so then she went on french tv and she talked about her assault 0.64

00:53:56.540 and the French jailed her for six months

00:54:01.940 she was jailed six months for talking about

00:54:12.760 being raped by an immigrant on TV

00:54:20.300 and it wasn't like it wasn't like a bloody you know kids program or something it was a it was a 0.98

00:54:25.740 political discussion thing and she she talked about this and so they jailed her

00:54:33.340 or community cohesion or some like that whatever it was 1.00

00:54:39.660 europe

00:54:43.900 i mean i know i know we're bad in this country but we haven't oh and then there was another case in

00:54:49.020 i think it was either finland or sweden one of those snowy places with the reindeer and

00:54:55.740 um yeah this this one girl she um she brought a court case against her rapists

00:55:04.360 she was outside a hospital a 14 year old girl and these these um foreign men came over they

00:55:11.800 they shooed her um away from the entrance and raped her in the bushes and um the judge um

00:55:20.460 basically in the court case awarded costs to the foreigners 0.85

00:55:26.940 so we've now reached a stage where not only do you get raped that if you talk about it on cv you

00:55:31.820 go to jail and in in finland or whatever it was um she had to pay she the the rape victim she had 0.57

00:55:38.860 to pay costs to her rapists she had to pay her rapists yeah

00:55:50.460 The state of the Western world at this point when the backlash comes

00:56:02.100 I'll leave it there

00:56:04.100 yeah there might be a backlash might there the build it just says build

00:56:18.480 the in a pop-up which i can't get rid of because i don't speak as a german oh there we go

00:56:25.260 um they've got a picture of a train a picture of um an immigrant man with a white woman

00:56:33.440 um um i i have no idea what's going on here oh it's oh i don't care is that it is that all of

00:56:42.820 them i'm pressing the button and it's oh no i'm no i'm just rapidly switching between english

00:56:50.880 what's this one uh tass russian oh i didn't realize we could get russian news anymore i

00:56:56.420 thought that would be bad uh trump describes iran signing the memorandum of u.s as unconditional

00:57:01.560 you're right then cope um indian express

00:57:08.340 we cover the indian express here do we

00:57:13.360 indian express yes all right uh ministry of corporate affair services affected after fire

00:57:26.080 yeah okay whatever uh moving swiftly on the jihon news so this we've got a bit of china

00:57:36.000 oh yeah and of course their front pages is not little children being thrown into crocodile pits

00:57:41.440 um their front pages are little children meeting robots

00:57:48.800 and going on a fun little train thing yes um

00:57:56.080 There are clues for the observant observer that the West is not where it's at.

00:58:08.620 Front page of European papers are rapist forced, rape victim forced to pay cost,

00:58:17.460 rapist, a rape victim sent to jail, mentioning it, three-year-old boyfriend, crocodile, 0.97

00:58:24.920 you go to you go to china and it's little kids meeting bloody robots yeah so um okay 0.99

00:58:34.580 we may have fallen behind on civilizational terms uh what's this japan wire

00:58:42.420 uh fire breaks out of tokyo elementary school oh no elementary school they're 10 injured

00:58:50.600 look at that they don't they don't shy away uh from reporting bad things that have happened to

00:58:56.640 children they don't cover it up they don't they don't urge you not to speculate anyway papers but

00:59:04.800 la times yeah they they they americans have no concept of there being anything else i went to

00:59:11.940 la last time i went to la i i bought a i bought a copy of the la times and i thought okay let's

00:59:19.320 catch up on world events and i flicked through this paper expecting to find out about what was

00:59:26.160 going on in the world and um and there was no mention of anything about the world and then i

00:59:31.800 started to get to the back of the paper i thought okay here's going to be the world news and what

00:59:36.340 they actually covered was news from other u.s states that they literally have no concept of

00:59:43.140 of anything not being america so um i mean it's fine i mean if if if you're in la then i suppose

00:59:52.500 north dakota must seem like a well i suppose it is a foreign country different demographics anyway

00:59:58.760 so but whatever don't care uh new york times don't care uh yeah or i don't care about any

01:00:04.760 of this right okay there's more links but i'm pretty sure i don't care let's go to the

01:00:09.460 uh the comments of the people

01:00:11.760 actually i want the one with the lucozade where's the where's the one with there we go

01:00:20.960 actually i might have the no i'm gonna have the i'm gonna have the lucozade one right okay

01:00:24.640 um oh this is the bit where i get to read what church global history posted at uh 4 15 in the

01:00:34.560 am do i start from the top or the bottom bottom right let's go it's not church global history

01:00:44.700 he's not there is he taking a day off was it beau all along

01:00:50.580 is church global history just beau is he just talking to himself because he's not here

01:00:58.580 oh i'm not good enough for you am i sir all right fine oh i know we got

01:01:05.540 um claravan is that morning dan how could you when was that posted that was posted at

01:01:16.580 6 21 how could you tell i was in my i was still in my disguise then all right okay fine

01:01:22.260 uh morning dan can't help but feel a little black peeled this morning the store need to

01:01:28.680 seriously answer why there was such a wide gap between internal polling and their actual result

01:01:33.260 yep fair enough they do if you stand back objectively they they did really well for a

01:01:41.000 new party but they did nowhere near as well as we were all hoping for uh because we were all a bit

01:01:48.240 hopeful that is true yeah uh jeffrey faranel says good morning dan

01:01:54.080 i was i was literally in disguise you could not have known that

01:02:00.420 how could you have known that a big fan big fan he says it twice sensible chap

01:02:06.940 it seems that voter turnout was lower than expected in makerfield despite intense canvassing

01:02:12.900 would you support compulsory voting um i thought it was 65

01:02:17.840 actually what what was it let's let's let's see if it's on my little link thing

01:02:26.400 i heard early on that it was really high but that was before the actual results were announced that

01:02:34.720 was just what they were kind of hinting at turnout no it's 58.75 so 59 that's actually

01:02:40.380 quite high that would be high for a general election and no i don't support compulsory

01:02:44.940 voting because um i don't support compulsory anything apart from re-migration uh tom rat

01:02:59.340 early one to welcome dan

01:03:10.380 I was literally in the sky.

01:03:13.020 You could not have known that.

01:03:16.340 Makerfield is proof positive

01:03:17.720 that most people shouldn't be voting

01:03:19.620 and why Hellenism fixes everything.

01:03:23.880 Is that...

01:03:24.380 No, Heinleinism.

01:03:26.520 Heinleinism.

01:03:27.160 That's the Starship Troopers chap, isn't it?

01:03:32.060 I'm not fully up to speed on what Heinleinism is,

01:03:34.740 but if it involves shooting,

01:03:38.340 I'm probably okay with it.

01:03:40.380 GWFF says

01:03:44.780 ITM

01:03:46.460 no showers this morning 1.00

01:03:48.300 band of bros and hoes 1.00

01:03:50.540 we're in the tub 1.00

01:03:52.200 have a great weekend my dudes and dudettes

01:03:55.180 thank you for that

01:03:57.720 Matthew C says

01:04:00.680 Nigel is going to have a huge decision

01:04:03.060 to make between now and 2029

01:04:05.020 retire in Tuscany or retire

01:04:07.200 in Provence

01:04:08.500 but he's got the surname to fit in any of those hasn't he but yeah really bad night for

01:04:15.720 reform massively massively down on their council um but i mean think of it this way right think

01:04:26.000 of it this way what restore had to do is they it was like it was like the first scene of saving

01:04:32.400 private ryan they had to get off the beach right they they were coming under intent i mean the

01:04:37.980 firepower coming at Restore

01:04:40.900 Farage was up there

01:04:42.540 in his pillbox

01:04:44.240 his little concrete bunker thing

01:04:45.800 with his machine gun

01:04:46.600 and the Daily Mail

01:04:50.360 were firing in mortars

01:04:52.000 and Restore had to get off those

01:04:56.100 bloody beaches and up the hill

01:04:57.460 and they did it

01:04:58.300 they got a foothold

01:05:00.840 they got three times

01:05:02.560 what the Conservative Party got

01:05:04.640 three times

01:05:06.800 They put themselves on the map, but yeah, it wasn't as good as we were hoping for

01:05:12.520 because after all of that intense energy, Restore had their guns fixed solely on Restore.

01:05:23.740 And what they forgot about is that they were actually running against the Labour Party.

01:05:29.060 And then Andy Burnham just comes in with his B-52 and drops a Moab on the lot of us.

01:05:36.800 yeah all right but at least we're at least we're off the beaches

01:05:44.840 we're off the beach and we are into the crater that andy burnham left behind him

01:05:51.760 okay uh luke 91 says uh how do you think andy will do when the next migrant crime like stabbing 0.72

01:06:01.320 beheading or grape happens do you think he'd do better than queer starlin or do you think 0.89

01:06:06.600 Labour be back where they started yeah I mean that's the thing is is Labour in their death 0.97

01:06:12.600 roads this is this is their Rishi Sunak moment this is their everything is going to hell 0.86

01:06:18.420 let's pick Rishi Sunak or Andy Burnham and see if that changes it won't it won't change a damn

01:06:25.220 thing he there was nothing in the liberal progressive framework that he couldn't do

01:06:30.160 it's not like he's going to say oh right okay well look we're we meet you halfway we're going 0.90

01:06:36.040 to deport um 500 000 muwapuri pakistanis yeah we we do that we meet you halfway we do that and then 0.98

01:06:45.080 and then we can forget about it no they're not going to do not going to do anything are they 0.98

01:06:48.760 they're not they're not even going to stop the the inflow of jamaican pedophiles 0.97

01:06:54.360 so they're not going to make a damn difference you get a short honeymoon period and then we'll 0.96

01:06:57.400 be straight back in it will be rishi sonic all over again um okay um oh yeah he also says i'm

01:07:05.400 sorry as someone who works in mental health 1.00

01:07:08.000 yeah I want asylums to come back 1.00

01:07:09.920 some of my clients can be scary 0.91

01:07:12.180 when they've decided not to take their meds

01:07:14.280 yeah 0.99

01:07:14.560 deportations and asylums 0.99

01:07:17.840 more prisons

01:07:20.000 and

01:07:21.740 changing the judges

01:07:24.500 in

01:07:27.220 in Bo's Britain, in Dan's Britain 0.84

01:07:29.580 shortly after 0.96

01:07:32.060 the revolution there would be

01:07:33.820 a large number of job vacancies in the judge department 0.85

01:07:49.820 and there would be more prisons more asylums and more deportations flights

01:07:55.740 and then we would discover that a lot of our problems the bad ones

01:08:03.820 go away we can go back to worrying about the price of petrol or something okay um question 47 says

01:08:12.540 for a sensible five pounds that's a sensible super chat thank you um first time watcher

01:08:17.660 long time listener uh nice to finally put a face to the voice yes

01:08:23.020 although i may have thrown you off a bit early because i was in disguise

01:08:26.780 I mean seriously did any of you see through it

01:08:32.220 I don't think so 1.00

01:08:33.120 GFWW

01:08:35.700 It says success is not

01:08:38.280 Final, failure is not fatal

01:08:40.000 And the courage to continue that counts

01:08:42.160 Famous historian Winston Churchill

01:08:44.140 Summed up well

01:08:45.700 TYFYC

01:08:47.640 Thank you for your courage

01:08:49.600 Yes

01:08:51.080 Don't like Churchill

01:08:54.340 That much to be honest

01:08:55.300 because we had a proper country once

01:08:58.200 and then he decided that he couldn't live

01:09:00.220 within his means

01:09:01.320 and he was going to borrow money from

01:09:04.160 people who had an agenda

01:09:05.600 anyway enough about that

01:09:09.600 Luke

01:09:11.780 91 also says

01:09:13.920 too bad the government isn't like a 0.98

01:09:16.240 monarchy, we could just kill 0.97

01:09:18.180 no we can't 0.99

01:09:19.240 I can't say that

01:09:21.500 um

01:09:25.300 Yeah, that is a bit

01:09:27.080 fed. That is a bit fed

01:09:28.800 posty, that one. I'm not

01:09:30.240 doing that.

01:09:33.360 And

01:09:33.840 I'm not sure that's the right target anyway.

01:09:37.580 But, yes.

01:09:39.120 Right.

01:09:41.540 Fortunate Barber

01:09:42.600 says, morning, Daniel.

01:09:53.060 You couldn't tell.

01:09:55.300 morning dan all right we may not have won the by-election but we will win the general election

01:10:05.000 burnham will be a better face than the starminator as well not so terribly yeah i mean actually we

01:10:11.060 we we have i i think i think burnham is going to be an improvement not because burnham is a good

01:10:17.820 politician not because he can do anything better but because he's not starmer and starmer is a

01:10:23.120 complete soulless psychopath a proper proper psychopath 0.96

01:10:27.760 he he's the sort of thing that in medieval times you would get clubbed through the on the back of 0.99

01:10:37.440 the head as you're walking through the woods dragged into the bottom of a cave and he would

01:10:42.480 eat your skin a bit at a time

01:10:44.700 until you were just 0.93

01:10:45.840 you know 0.99

01:10:47.460 Starmer is a nutter 0.99

01:10:52.340 absolute nutter 0.99

01:10:54.760 and so

01:10:56.660 Burnham won't be able to fix any of the problems

01:10:58.660 but at least he won't be Starmer

01:11:00.220 thank god for that

01:11:01.940 and it turns out

01:11:05.900 all of that effort reform were putting in

01:11:08.580 to doing whatever it took

01:11:10.820 to stop reform the smears the desperation it it turns out actually um all of that fratricide

01:11:23.340 they forgot the fact that burnham was there they forgot and this was a labour constituency that

01:11:30.460 had voted labour forever and the area had voted labour since labour was created as a political

01:11:39.780 party for over 120 years so yes um question 47 says dan it was you all along yes

01:11:53.060 yes i was in disguise wasn't i

01:11:57.140 a lot of you didn't notice that um excellent right so is that is that all of them

01:12:04.100 have i have i done my bit can i go back to bed now

01:12:09.780 oh god

01:12:11.400 or there is

01:12:13.100 or there's more

01:12:14.060 god why don't you take

01:12:17.760 there's bloody loads of them

01:12:18.860 oh dear

01:12:21.400 right

01:12:21.800 bear with me ladies and gentlemen

01:12:24.660 I forgot to look at the other side

01:12:29.920 of the screen because it's

01:12:31.240 tiny little font all the way down there

01:12:33.860 right

01:12:34.860 Brute Life says

01:12:37.340 restore gained a lot last night

01:12:39.040 experience, publicity and our first loss

01:12:41.220 success made out of many failures

01:12:43.280 bring on the next one, thanks Dan

01:12:44.800 yeah, I mean, objectively, I mean, yes

01:12:46.920 it's nowhere near what we were hoping for

01:12:48.720 but we were very

01:12:51.060 hopeful

01:12:51.520 but for a new party

01:12:54.080 it's actually a solid toe

01:12:57.060 hole

01:12:57.320 Zalzil Dot

01:13:01.480 says, Manchester

01:13:02.600 mayor election next, how will we do

01:13:05.260 well, if Makerfield

01:13:07.220 is anything to go by, that's going to be a complete

01:13:09.020 Labour blowout because they only ever vote Labour

01:13:11.080 there

01:13:11.360 My dad was

01:13:15.100 Labour, my dad's dad

01:13:17.120 was Labour

01:13:17.740 My dad's dad's dad was Labour

01:13:20.920 so I'm going to be Labour as well

01:13:22.400 Yeah, why not 0.98

01:13:24.720 Germ70

01:13:31.180 says a loss for reform

01:13:33.120 and a loss for restore 0.97

01:13:36.080 it might be time for Rupert and Nige to mend the relationship because this ego struggle is pathetic

01:13:42.280 the challenge is is that is that we're back restored because we don't think that

01:13:48.480 Farage is going to change anything because he's told us on various occasions he's not going to 0.71

01:13:52.780 change anything and that he um he basically just wants to win votes from the nones until

01:14:00.160 until they take over which is a little bit of a problem honestly uh it's that that wouldn't be

01:14:06.760 my preferred strategy so i don't see what voting for reform gets you if the strategy is just to

01:14:14.760 remain electorally viable until you're replaced okay um i think we need to replace them and and

01:14:26.260 if we if we can keep doing in every three months what it took forage 10 years to do

01:14:31.380 than in a year i don't know is it cope is it real i mean honestly for a new party

01:14:41.760 to be if they're on the map now

01:14:44.940 it's a first battle when it cost us we got off the beaches it cost us put a lot of effort in

01:14:53.820 but we're off the beaches

01:14:55.380 this is not going to be easy

01:14:57.380 saving your country is not going to be easy

01:14:59.220 no

01:15:02.200 something wickedly

01:15:05.960 says can 1.00

01:15:07.600 welcome refugees 0.99

01:15:09.940 get them up 1.00

01:15:11.440 the ring 1.00

01:15:13.260 can welcome refugees 1.00

01:15:15.820 get them up the ring 1.00

01:15:17.040 is that a bum joke

01:15:19.340 i'm not sure what's going on there so i think i might move swiftly past that one

01:15:26.920 yeah um irwin romulus sensible five pounds thank you um the finished judge allegedly said she

01:15:36.960 should have known what would have happened i sure heard she has to pay 16 000 euro marks yeah

01:15:43.540 yeah that's about right 16 000 euro mark she has to pay 1.00

01:15:46.600 because that young girl should have known what happened when she let the 1.00

01:15:51.860 foreign men shoo her away from the entrance it was her fault 0.58

01:15:55.580 you were young white and female you should you should have you should have you should you should 1.00

01:16:04.440 have run the number one schmuck for a solid twenty dollars that answer that's that's doing 0.91

01:16:17.280 it proper um they say labor's high share came at the expense of the other parties compared to the

01:16:26.560 polling except restore who met their polling numbers uh despite burnham's overperforming

01:16:33.620 weathering a storm can be impressive in its own right yeah yeah exactly uh so so burnham came in

01:16:39.020 with his b52 and his moab and he just so to so yeah every party was down i mean the bloody

01:16:49.440 conservatives got 2.2 percent i mean that that is well well below their their national polling

01:16:56.260 reform

01:16:57.980 you know lost an arm and a leg

01:17:01.720 compared to their

01:17:02.700 council elections

01:17:05.600 everybody just got bulldozed

01:17:07.980 entirely by any bloody Burnham

01:17:09.760 so that's

01:17:11.940 what I'm saying so if they got 7% here

01:17:13.560 their national polling is easily north

01:17:15.820 of 10% easily

01:17:17.000 something wickedly says

01:17:21.300 judge nail 0.81

01:17:23.800 bits table

01:17:26.000 i couldn't possibly comment um he also says burnham is not a winner well he is he is in

01:17:36.820 makerfield uh but i he's not going to win the general bloody election is he now he also says

01:17:42.980 well he's he's machine gunning these uh these uh super chats in he says albert

01:17:50.980 pierre point wants to return shona

01:17:56.480 i don't know what you're talking about

01:18:02.120 um something wickedly also says uh dan blood pressure higher than cousin marriage actually

01:18:12.140 my blood pressure is quite quite good my blood pressure has always been surprisingly good

01:18:16.640 for whatever reason it can't be because of lifestyle it cannot i don't know what it is

01:18:22.900 maybe i've got a leak i've got a leak somewhere and the blood is just and that's why the pressure

01:18:28.900 is so low i don't understand i never understood why my blood pressure is is basically perfect

01:18:34.100 it i promise you it cannot be lifestyle or diet

01:18:39.160 uh luke stewart for uh 7.99

01:18:51.280 a dollars is that aussie dollars could be um god you got up early to watch this

01:19:01.860 you got up at quarter past dinner time

01:19:05.780 the 300 billion is supposedly investment funds from the gulf states not the u.s 0.99

01:19:12.660 i have seen a few videos on this explaining it to me like i'm an idiot uh yeah so that i mean

01:19:19.740 that's the workaround that it's going to come from the gulf states but what i mean what what 0.62

01:19:23.920 do the gulf states do they send tribute to the u.s all the time buying like military supplies i mean

01:19:32.820 they don't call it tribute they don't they don't like send a bloody sultan with his

01:19:37.320 sultany stuff on wearing carrying a big box of treasure and dump it at the feet of the

01:19:42.800 god emperor in washington but they do pay tribute by buying a vast amount of unnecessary stuff from

01:19:50.680 america so it is so easy to do the accounting of just okay well instead of doing that and instead

01:19:56.460 of buying another f-15 or these bloody um air air coolers for some data center that you're setting

01:20:04.500 up you know rather than channeling money to the donor class because american politics is run for

01:20:10.700 the donor class you know the haliburtons and all the rest of it instead of getting them to pay the

01:20:15.620 tribute to the donors so the donors can donate it to the political parties instead of doing all of

01:20:20.540 that um they're just going to send it to iran from the gulf states but it okay it's not coming

01:20:28.000 from the us but it otherwise would have gone to the us so it's it's an accounting bloody entry

01:20:34.980 um sam h says boomer vote for youth being fed to crocodiles

01:20:42.760 yes yes that that's that's that's been the case for about 30 years at this point

01:20:50.540 We mustn't...

01:20:51.440 People get upset when I beat up on the boomers. 0.99

01:20:56.340 Anyway, moving on. 1.00

01:20:59.680 Lads, for 10 New Zealand dollars,

01:21:03.620 lads, you're not voting your way out of this.

01:21:06.040 Give it a good go until 2029,

01:21:08.560 but prepare accordingly.

01:21:10.200 You deep down know what you've got to do.

01:21:12.940 I mean, I hope not. 0.97

01:21:15.060 I'm old enough to remember the Bosnian Civil War

01:21:19.420 and other civil wars i can think of civil wars are bloody horrendous i really want to avoid that

01:21:25.340 really really want to avoid that happening in this country i i hope that we don't get into that spot

01:21:32.420 um oh god i've got to speed up otherwise i'm going to be doing this bloody lunchtime it's

01:21:40.800 already half past nine it's actually normal it's normal morning now

01:21:46.580 all right let's speed up um somebody sent me 100 shekels what's an s s e k there's somebody from

01:21:57.380 a country with 85 average turnout i'm surprised how low uk turnout is also seven percent for a

01:22:03.720 four month old party is really good i mean objectively when you stand back it is actually

01:22:07.280 really good um it's just that we had our expectations so high um ignore those haters

01:22:12.460 and doomers fight on

01:22:13.860 somebody

01:22:16.960 10 pounds

01:22:18.460 I can't read your name

01:22:20.240 morning Bo

01:22:22.720 not sure why you look a little different today

01:22:25.040 did you get a haircut

01:22:27.220 anyway happy to be catching the show

01:22:29.240 hope you're doing well

01:22:30.180 have a great morning everyone

01:22:31.720 I like that guy

01:22:32.800 Kieran Brown for 5 pounds says

01:22:38.780 the new show title is

01:22:40.480 Dan interrogates

01:22:41.960 curated knowledge whenever bo's away we can look forward to our daily dose of and then

01:22:49.060 that's been blanked out with stars so whatever that was that was that was rude

01:22:55.380 but yes i don't know am i going to do this every time bo wants a holiday

01:23:00.220 it's bloody early but not now now it's proper morning now because i've waffled on so long

01:23:05.680 um irwin romulus says you look like johnny

01:23:09.120 oh sorry you look like a johnny okay well that changes the context entirely

01:23:16.500 uh luke stewart uh says are you going to be on the podcast tonight it's going to feel like

01:23:25.060 tonight lunchtime is going to feel like tonight after waking up at the middle of the bloody night

01:23:29.440 um if so can you wear the cap and say nothing about why you're wearing it

01:23:34.760 um it is quite tight though because i've got a huge brain and i just it just felt it pulling so

01:23:42.800 i was quite happy to take it off at some point when i realized that one or two percent of the

01:23:48.660 chat had figured it out i don't know how must must have been i must have said a catchphrase wrong or

01:23:54.720 something um luke stewart also says by the way if you decide to plug brokernomics uh you have to

01:24:02.340 then say it again in a soft voice like an echo if you truly want to copy bow oh is that what he does

01:24:08.120 oh i i thought i was i thought it was yeah it must have been that that's why some people

01:24:14.200 saw through my disguise because i didn't i didn't do the soft voice thing all right there we go i

01:24:20.980 over next time uh luke steward uh for 15 aussie dollars says a good day dan and everyone no point

01:24:31.220 asking how everyone is since everyone seems to be quite upset from the election why don't you

01:24:36.340 cheer everybody up just reading some bbc pigeon you do it so well i forgot about b i should have

01:24:43.840 included bbc pigeon should have but mind you um i i rattled through the front door

01:24:50.600 um when we were very very close to having to go live and i was looking bleary-eyed and not happy

01:24:57.940 and i spent at least five minutes grumbling about how bloody early it was so yeah uh i

01:25:06.340 i mean next time sod it i just i just stay up all night it will genuinely be easier for me to stay

01:25:12.900 up all night and do that again all right uh mr dickie bingo uh says king bingo in the house

01:25:20.220 yes that's my twitter handle uh and then we got uh oh hang on there's global church history is

01:25:29.260 the you on the youtube am i supposed to read that one from the top unlike the other one which i read

01:25:35.920 from the bottom

01:25:42.900 oh okay well he's he's he's on the other one so if if the list is upside down on the youtube

01:25:48.920 version maybe he was first maybe i i slurred him unnecessarily um well anyway so he he's either

01:25:56.540 last or first probably first and i just don't know how to read this thing um oh dan hosting

01:26:04.160 an on this day in history moment oh dan hosting isn't on this day in history moment yes yes i

01:26:12.200 forgot to do the only day in history that's because i waffled on for so bloody long that

01:26:15.680 it's now half nine and all of you probably stopped watching because you've actually turned up to work

01:26:20.120 and are having to pretend to work at whatever the hell it is you'll do well unless you're in

01:26:24.280 the public sector and then you're probably still just watching because nobody is going to pay any

01:26:29.200 attention to whether you're working or not um right i think that's it have i have i done

01:26:36.880 everything that i'm supposed to do harry all right um i can i can um what am i gonna do i think i

01:26:47.440 think i need a massive cooked breakfast to get me over this massive massive cooked breakfast

01:26:54.240 i've been just absurd frankly and maybe a beer is it too early can i can i work on airport

01:27:01.940 logic where you can have a beer in the morning i don't know i don't know anyway um yes so um

01:27:08.800 beau will be back on monday i hope i hope to god he's back on monday and um yeah keep your chin up

01:27:16.140 if you're a reform supporter we got off the beach

01:27:19.100 cost us if you're a reform supporter you've lost another bloody by-election

01:27:26.760 because you were pointing your guns in the wrong direction and if you labor um well congratulations

01:27:34.080 um you you managed to survive for another day so more children could be thrown into

01:27:39.440 crocodile pits you must be very pleased with yourself well done cheerio

The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters - June 19, 2026

Breakfast With Beau ｜ Friday 19th June 2026

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