Christmas Podcast ｜ Our Travel Recommendations
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Summary
In this episode of the lotus eaters, Urda and Urdan discuss their top 5 recommendations for a holiday in the world's most contrasting countries, including Thailand, Thailand, Bangkok, Thailand and India.
Transcript
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hello and welcome to uh christmas algorithm filler um of the lotus eaters we're away
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making merry um we're having snowball fights in the garden and uh we we needed something to uh
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yeah feed the algorithm so so uh beau and i are doing our recommendations uh and i think we're
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covering travel this time so we're both reasonably well-traveled men yes i know you much more than me
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i mean i've been around the world a bit but you've really traveled all over the place you're a globe
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tropter i would say well i've never been anywhere in africa yet okay all right um maybe why would
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you well that was my thinking that was my thing egypt a push yes other than that anyway so go on
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maybe um uh the first the first on my list and by the way none of none of my list is an actual
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recommendation i just want to talk about them all right the one recommendation if you want a holiday
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in a hot country just just go to thailand okay food is good people are friendly you won't get mugged
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um they almost have um pavements to walk on and the electricity cables probably won't kill you most
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of the time not like india um india your first pick is india well so it's almost like an anti-recommendation
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it it kind of is but you kind of need to see it to understand it okay because it is such a world of
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contrast and i've got one of those contrasts in this image here of the rich bit of india right next
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to the slumber and actually my experience it was much closer than that so i kind of fell in with a
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group of um very wealthy sikhs you know i knew some people out there um i knew this one guy whose
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family supplied most of the you know the gas bottles that you do on your barbecue they produce
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them which doesn't sound like a big deal but they were they were churning out millions of these things
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and and and fabulously wealthy and i kind of fell in with it with these guys and it was interesting
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a number of things first of all um they all loved the british empire they were all like i wish the
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british were still running us of course they did because we can't get shit done anymore because of
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the corruption and i was like yeah i wish we were still being run by those british people yeah those
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british people are not on offer anymore so there's that but the other thing and there's so many weird
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things you kind of have to see for yourself like you know we would go to a a shopping center
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and i'd be like oh let's try while i'm in india maybe i'll try some great indian food but they just
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wanted to go to the kfc and mcdonald's all the all the chain stuff right because that was like
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high status for them so you'd have like a gucci store and a louis vuitton store then and a kfc in
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the middle and that's where people people and it was odd and then you drive out of the um
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you drive out of the um the center the shopping center and you'd have like a slum like that like
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directly opposite and you'd see people just stumbling along in sort of you know basic starvation mode
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and they just drive past it and they wouldn't even see it and i'd be like do you guys see that
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and they're like oh yeah don't worry about that and they put things they couldn't even see it
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they just mentally filtered the whole the way that god wants it to be yeah another fascinating thing was
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um was nightclubs in india um it is the caste system personified so basically they've got the
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tiny little dance floor which is for the plebs and then the whole thing is these tears of ever
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concentric bands going out which you have to pay more and more to get in and and so the whole thing
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is a caste system right where you basically just stay with your kind of group and you need to be
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fairly wealthy as an indian to get into this place in the first place right and then the whole thing
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becomes about moving up the bloody tears and like getting getting a better level and again it was
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fascinating i mean other i mean so many fascinating things like the other thing is like you drive down
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a couple of streets and the the the and they're not and when i say street i don't mean this i mean
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big streets and all they are uh big indian wedding venues all right and it's like they built like a
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hollywood sound stage and it's and it's just for the purposes of having a wedding and apparently wedding
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um indians they spend a vast amount of money on their wedding or far more than we do here like a
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you know quarter of their lifetime in income or something gets spent on a bloody wedding it's
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it's huge it's absolutely huge and the other thing is um uh it's a slightly dark story but i have to
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tell it um i was driving along in some taxi one evening and um i saw all these cars uh jostling
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around a tuk-tuk thing and i said to my driver what what the hell is going on there looks like
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is there road rage or something what's going on and uh he says oh no no sir no sir and he he gets
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a bit closer so i can see and it is the ropeiest prostitute i've ever seen in my life hanging off
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the back of this tuk-tuk and you and you had car and it must have been like seven eight nine cars
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jostling around it like some chariot fight each car with like four or five indian men in it leaning
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out with fistfuls of money trying to get her to come with them and yeah yeah it's horrible the point
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is you kind of understand india better once you've actually seen it with your own eyes right but i don't
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i don't have time to get into the driving but every single car that i saw was was battered
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from collisions and you might think what how is that i mean within within like 20 minutes coming
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out the airport i saw people driving the wrong way around roundabouts in order to get to their exit
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quicker uh i mean just there are absolutely no rules whatsoever my only experience of india is i once
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uh had a layover flight in delhi right um did leave the airport briefly but didn't go much beyond the
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airport basically yes but even in the airport yes everything i do mean everything was an absolute
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clown show chaos nonsense yes the way everything worked was retarded it was mad it was mad it was
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sort of maddening yes that there would be i don't know like so baggage pickup or i don't know just a
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kfc or something that's in the there'll be like eight people employees standing around doing nothing
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yeah well one person not not even one person really doing any work meanwhile there's giant
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giant giant queues yes they could also it was just um and the queuing for that you probably would have
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picked up on as well it's just um i just sort of couldn't believe how dysfunctional everything
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seemed to be and that's in an airport yeah well you've heard the phrase where things are a bit more
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squared away than the rest of it you would think and you've heard the phrase organized chaos india
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is disorganized chaos right so yeah but but but fascinating to see um you picked rome probably a
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better choice than my one or just italy in general right um yeah so the opposite this is a genuine
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recommendation visit italy i've got a love affair with italy i've been to italy a number of times i don't
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know five six times i do say to some people um it's crazy to visit the same place more than once
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you've got a finite number of holidays in your life try and spread it out and i've broken my own
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rule on that a number of times with italy is that is that because there's a smidging of history that
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you can find in italy right yeah just a little bit just here or there like i've been to rome four or
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five times been to florence two or three times and a few places more than once um rome for example is
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one giant open museum essentially there's many many layers the onion of rome you've got modern rome
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then you've got like the baroque renaissance middle ages rome and then you've also got like
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the ancient rome that you go to the forum or you go to the coliseum or something there's there's the
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ancient world is there for you as well you'll turn a corner some random piazza you've never heard of
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you didn't mean to visit and in front of you is some masterpiece of of baroque architecture right
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in front of you like wow what is that that's grander than buckingham palace literally oh it's the
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post office it's rome's post office right i'm not making that up that's not an exaggeration you go
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to rome and you'll be if you've got any sort of uh artistic or or historical or architectural
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feeling you will go there and you will be amazed uh and it's the same in all over italy or not quite
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the same but go to places like florence or milan or some small little medieval hill town like urbino
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or something and you'll go there and again if you've got any sorts of sensibility you will
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probably love it fall in love with it i have if i had endless money if i had elon money i would have
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a couple of homes in italy i think in tuscany or somewhere okay remarkable place now the next one i
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got another slight anti-recommendation but this this is getting closer to an actual recommendation
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um cambodia i've been to cambodia yeah i visited anchor what many years ago lots of steps lots of
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chinese people oh yeah it's got a lot of chinese tourists um again uh just just just go to thailand
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but um cambodia is kind of interesting because it's well they've got a bit of history that they
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went they went through what was it a purge or something like 25 kamae rouge yeah the kamae rouge
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they they basically killed they found they identified their smartest 30 percent and killed
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them and if you want to find out what what happens to a country afterwards um visit it so i mean but
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they've got a different temperament to the indians so it's not it's not a mess it is a clean and tidy
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because they're still asian rather than in kind of yeah kind of kind of um it's it's complete free
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for all so um i mean i i my my way of doing a holiday is to fly into an airport one end of the
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country and out at an airport at the other end of the country and i make my way across the country
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and i just see it i just see how the real people live and for and for a bit of a journey i um teamed
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up with some um australian army medic who had been medically discharged or something was traveling
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across so i'm kind of make making my way way across this country um and and i mean he was telling
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me that until like a few weeks ago the government finally got around to banning it so i i'll tell you
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the sharp end of their regulation they'd finally got around to banning rehypnol you could just go
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into any pharmacy and buy it before then okay yeah very minimal government very very yeah to this day
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even after the kamae rouge it's still communist government they're still commies though yes and uh
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yeah very light touch shall we say i mean a free-for-all bit of a free-for-all well the only the only reason
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why anything gets done in cambodia is because the chinese pay for it right and i was i was talking
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to this um um this um well he wasn't an official anymore but a cambodian sort of retired official
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and i was asking about how it works and he says oh yeah the chinese basically do everything here
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and um so that so they might come in and drop they say oh you need a new road here so we're going
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to give you x many millions to get this road done and they just pick a guy who can make it happen
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and so they give him the money and they kind of they kind of expect he's going to skim off about
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five percent and they can live with that if he skims off like eight or nine percent he's found
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face down in his bowl of rice with a bullet hole in the back of his head a week later
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right that that is their version of organization and it's slightly less disorganized chaos in india
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but it's it's it's a work it's raw yeah i mean when i went when i crossed the border into cambodia
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i was like oh i'm out of tourist trap world land yeah it's not i'm actually in the real third world
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yes now i'm actually in i feel like i'm in a vietnam movie now it's the southeast asia from
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the 1970s i mean it's sort of it's sort of the real deal that's my thing i like if you like that
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then brilliant i like to get outside of the two i hate going on holidays where you're sat in an air
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conditioned minibus with a bunch of other westerners getting shown around some potemkin
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village i can't stand that i want to get in there and make my way across the country on local
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transport and actually see what it is for myself and the cambodia is raw i will give you that yeah
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yeah um you picked america well i do quite like i've been to places in the third world some very very
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poor places but i uh the type of nothing nothing matches detroit no i wasn't gonna say that that
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wasn't the angle i was going with the opposite as i say i like quite like going to big cities i
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actually prefer a city break to some back and beyond or to just sitting on a beach i actually
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find i've done it a couple of times but i feel like sitting on a beach for a week or two weeks
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that's a waste of time to me almost i like to go and see something interesting and anyway the
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united states i'm talking about all of the united states here is a wonderful place to visit a
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wonderful place i've been many places all across the united states and um uh it's just it's just
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endlessly fascinating things and the the bonus as a brit is that they speak it's state in the office
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but they speak english right so there's no worry about how you're going to get by how you're going
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to make yourself understood you get an instant plus one sophistication oh yeah jackson yeah there's
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that as well pete mclaughlin was telling me that when he went to um when he went to america and he's
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a single guy he his tinder profile just said british that was enough that was enough that's
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all you need yeah um i just think from the east coast to the west coast and the united states is so
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big so varied that you know they've got they've got swamps they've got deserts they've got they've
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got mountain ranges they've got salt flats they've got they've got the oceans they've got there's
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everything anything you could want really is there like the prayer is in britain we haven't got
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any of those things particularly sorry pete mccormack not pete mclaughlin he's the leader of
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the sdp i don't oh yeah two different very very different people very different sorry carry on so
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anyway i was just going to say just in general um there's a lot like some it's sort of modish i think
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in europe or in some places in in britain in uh in the online sphere it's sort of fashionable to dunk
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on america the gae there's something wrong and fundamentally crappy about america i just don't buy
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it i don't buy i think america is a wonderful place i think most people there outside of inner
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cities we know what i'm talking about there outside of that most people are extraordinarily polite and
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generous that was my experience is i probably need to see more of america i kind of end up getting
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trapped in las vegas every time i go i just i just i i go and go to it than that right yeah and and
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the thing that i'm kicking myself about now is i suddenly realized i never actually saw the grand
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canyon even though it is like a mile up the road yeah you should make yeah i i just things are poker
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tables there so i just end up yeah i once traveled across utah and nevada the salt flats right i mean
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like across colorado the rocky mountains when i crossed colorado was unbelievable come out of
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kansas and the the prairies there up into the the rockies and then down into the deserts on the
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western side of the rockies yeah i mean there's just nothing in the uk to compare to these things
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but you know i went to northern california the giant redwoods in in given it's so vast if you had
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to go to one place in the us i mean i it's like saying one place in europe there isn't there's not
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a good arm you would say rome but i might say rome or florence yeah um i don't know there's a few
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places in the united states which i haven't been which i badly want to see um jeez i don't know
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i really don't know i would love to i haven't been that many places on the east coast i've never
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visited new york i would love to visit new york it's probably past its best at this point probably
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yeah but like uh i would love to see new york in the 80s yeah that would have been cool yeah
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oh well there's so many places there's a place called barringer crater
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in uh is it arizona it's a big where a meteor hit the earth and there's a giant crater there
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and a bit of a geologist space fan nerds uh idea of a good time but i'd love to visit that absolutely
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love to visit that just for myself but i mean there's again it's a whole continent of things
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to see and do yeah there's plenty there uh third not recommendation because the correct answer is just
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go to thailand um is the philippines right i've never been to the philippines so philippines is
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fascinating tell me about it for a start do not attempt to drive in manila it is it i mean indian
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roads are paradise compared to manila not because they drive badly when they do but there are so
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many cars in such a compact area that it is genuinely quicker to walk from one side of the city to the
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other okay um the fascinating thing about the philippines is just how young and vibrant it is
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because you know you walk you walk around a european city or an american city you just see old people
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everywhere especially in europe you you just see oh look there's a there's a boomer there's another
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boomer there's 10 more boomers it's just old people everywhere in the philippine everybody's under 25
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it's yeah it's it's an unbelievably young population okay so when that i mean their population pyramid is
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an actual pyramid unlike everywhere else in the world and so i mean this and and you can see and
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you can just see the shoots of this is going to be a considerably more potent country 20 years in the
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future because there's there's um uh upshoots of construction and there's something is emerging
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within this place and it's an interesting place because um it is asian but mixed with latino
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or or latin blood because basically what happened is spanish spanish because what happened is the
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spanish occupied it for about 400 years and these um these spanish sailors basically didn't have
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anything to do for those 400 years apart from the local girls and and so it's kind of infused and
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created this new mix and and it's and it's not because i mean you go you go to a buddhist country
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in asia and you can walk around with headphones in and you're not going to get mugged and you're fine
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i was in manila for about two minutes before i realized i needed to go and buy a fake wallet and a
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fake phone that i kept my pockets above my actual wallet and phone because nothing actually nothing
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happened to me the whole time i was there but you when you travel a lot you just get this vibe
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of like i know what you mean yeah a couple of sketchy places i know what you mean yeah you you
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get this but you you pick up this ability to walk down the street and just think no i'm going to turn
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around and go back again this is something wrong here and i could just tell in manila that um i i
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seriously could just get a moped pull up and a pistol put in my face and hand over the wallet and
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that's why i had the fake wallet and phone um i mean everything i mean um all random shops have got a
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a guard outside with a shotgun so yeah right it is lively place and when i did serious okay and when
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i did get a taxi back to the to the airport um the guy told me oh yeah um earlier this week i was
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taking um a couple back to the airport and a moped pulled up at the side and they had to hand over
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their wallet's phone their luggage and they they just robbed them at gunpoint yeah and and and drove
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off so so that's why it's another not recommendation just go to thailand but it but it is that if if
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they can get a pekele or something in there to top well they kind of did they got dirty yeah yeah
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yeah he he was a slightly uh it was an interesting character now there's a story there um but but
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it's it's just such a young vibrant population that you can tell that something is going to grow
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out of this and the other thing is they all speak english right so they they've all got jobs in like
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call centers and actually their english is good because the americans took it off the spanish yes
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and then re-liberated it in world war ii off the japs my favorite thing is so it's americanized yes
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as well yes that in fact there's i don't know if you can see it in this picture but there's a big
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u.s naval base there uh which apparently is a popular listing um for american service personnel
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now my favorite thing about visiting manila was uh when i discovered a massive statue of a cardinal
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it makes me laugh to this day um the the this famous manila cardinal um had the surname sin
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literally cardinal sin was his name uh and god so that that made me chuckle but an interesting
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vibrant place a catholic country right so oh very catholic yes uh you've you've gone for london uh not
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sure i can agree with this one well again so so i'm a londoner yes kind of i spent i spent 20 years
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i was so glad when i left really yes because i picked this as well for the same reason i sort
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of picked the united states that is sort of again modish to dunk on london and i think probably because
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it's become so awful and i think i think london's brilliant right so yeah screw you guys you hate
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london um there's a few council estates around london yeah where if you go there and you cause
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a problem you'll be you'll be in trouble such as being white sure yeah there's a few council estates
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where you won't be welcome there and it's a bit it's a bit rough it's nothing like manila or the
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favelas of yeah of of rio it's nothing like that but nonetheless there are a few rough areas okay i'll give
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you that the vast majority of london the vast majority of london certainly the central bits
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are absolutely fine unless you have your phone out well yeah yeah yeah who's that um but no no wait
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the middle of london is a treasure trove of wonderful interesting things that is from the
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tower of london that is the british museum the national gallery the national portrait gallery the
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houses of parliament westminster abbey on and on and on and on and on and on yes it's a wonderful
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place most people that don't like london are country bumpkins with a chip on their shoulder
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yes that's what it is if if if it if they if there could be a little bit of spring cleaning
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you've got a gem there so when i i moved to london in about the year 2000 something like that
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and i've got to say it was it was a it was a wonderful place back then it's just um you know
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when i found myself googling stab proof vests i just thought yeah maybe i just maybe i just move
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my family out of london maybe again in central london yeah right the city of london the city of
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westminster yes you're not going to get stabbed you're not going to get stabbed out of nowhere for
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nothing no it's a tourist trap you're fine yeah aren't you be honest yeah you put you probably
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you walk you walk along westminster bridge and you walk up white hall to trafalgar square the
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problem is afford you're not getting stabbed for no reason it's not happening it's not
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affording a flat on westminster bridge that's the uh i won't deny there's some dodgy bits i'm not
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claiming that's not the case i mean i i would i would say to any americans thinking of visiting me
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fine go to london and you know stick to the stick to the main bits but then if you're going to visit
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the rest of england just pick any english city which is more than a thousand years old and they're all
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great i mean you're a winchester man yes winchester lovely place absolutely lovely but no london it's
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like some british people think oh i can't go to new york or los angeles i'll get shot no you won't
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no you almost certainly won't if you don't go to the known dodgy bit and cause trouble you're not
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getting shot yes it's fine but people think oh the second i get off the get off lax or jfk the
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second i get off the plane i'm going to get shot at no you're not yes get real get real it's the same
00:24:32.320
with london you almost certainly won't have a problem i might be a bit jaded because i saw it go
00:24:37.180
downhill for 20 years but i will say uh towards the end of my tenure i remember i i had been attending
00:24:42.340
a poker game that had gone on it gone on for about 28 hours and um when it finally ended at like
00:24:48.620
4 a.m and it was the middle of summer and i was driving through london um and the place was empty
00:24:55.620
but the sun was up but it was empty and actually driving through london when it's empty it was i
00:25:01.800
could really appreciate it it was a beautiful place and i started i started just driving around
00:25:05.840
and you know driving past westminster and a whole bunch of the other places and it's like and i could
00:25:10.920
really appreciate it god this is a wonderful city yeah it is it is if only if only if it was like
00:25:16.560
this all the time i would have loved it essentially again the city of london and the city of westminster
00:25:23.000
the central bit from sort of tower hill in the east to basically westminster in the west that whole
00:25:30.560
part and up with tottencourt road oxford street all this mainly north of the river um again every street
00:25:38.200
every corner has got a fantastic amount of history to it centuries and centuries and centuries worth of
00:25:44.140
stories connected to every road every tiny little side thing to just just miss it all there's too
00:25:50.260
many brown people here now and you people get stabbed too much and throw it away throw it in the bin
00:25:54.940
start again it's it's no no no no no no no this is a gem of our history and our heritage similar what
00:26:00.040
you said to rome you can just you can go down side street and it's wonderful um you know the
00:26:04.600
the the architecture you see in the history of the place a lot of people that don't like london have
00:26:10.500
hardly ever been there that is definitely true yes it may maybe it can get a slightly worse
00:26:17.720
reputation than it possibly deserves i think so yeah but uh once we've freshened it up we've got a gem
00:26:26.700
waiting for us there i think yeah it's the cornerstone of this island's history and heritage one of the
00:26:33.360
cornerstones when i was working at westminster as a young man um i did have an american exchange
00:26:39.260
student in the same office as me and again it sort of took it took a foreigner to make me see it but
00:26:44.980
we we were sat on um it was sat opposite that the house of parliament he was looking at it he was saying
00:26:50.080
a quarter of the world used to be run from that building over there oh yeah you're right yeah
00:26:56.000
yeah i mean westminster abbey just that alone you see where big ben is yep directly behind big ben
00:27:03.500
directly behind big ben in that image you can see a big building right that's westminster abbey just
00:27:11.900
kicks the absolute shit out of nearly any other historical building you will ever find
00:27:19.760
yes it's an absolute wonder yes an absolute wonder a genuine genuine gothic abbey filled with the kings
00:27:29.840
and queens of england every nearly everyone of any note for centuries is buried there
00:27:36.260
that's just one thing that's just one building there and believe me there's dozens of those dotted
00:27:43.080
around london well not to mention the british museum the british museum the greatest repository of
00:27:47.920
artifacts and treasure in the world by some margin you think the smithsonian is good
00:27:52.580
yeah please i think the guggenheim is good please please yes london the national gallery the national
00:28:01.280
portrait gallery again some of the finest perhaps only the the euphritzi in florence has got a finer
00:28:08.700
collection of art you will find in the world in the world i'm talking about and there's a tape modern