The Podcast of the Lotus Eaters

00:00:00.000 Hi guys, welcome back to the After Show. This is, I guess, the replacement for Lads Hour, where we're just going to be chatting to you, reading some of your comments and saying thank you for a thousand episodes joining us and eating very strange foods.

00:00:15.580 So...

00:00:15.660 Biltong is not that strange.

00:00:17.440 No, no, no. I've got the strange foods.

00:00:18.940 Oh.

00:00:19.580 You're going to enjoy it.

00:00:20.440 Oh, no.

00:00:21.780 But was there something we were playing first, Samson?

00:00:25.380 Not particularly this time.

00:00:26.940 Ah, okay.

00:00:27.380 Well, should we play the Out of Context first and then go for the video comments?

00:00:31.480 We've got it on screen.

00:00:34.120 So, this is a new one.

00:00:44.100 I'm unrapeable now.

00:00:47.960 Nice.

00:00:50.080 Communism. How about we have full communism right now?

00:00:55.400 Hello.

00:00:55.880 Hey, I'm starting in Oxford. I have no prospects for my future.

00:01:00.500 I want an Assassin's Creed where the assassin is in a wheelchair. 1.00

00:01:04.240 Hey! Hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing, eh, lad? Hey!

00:01:08.340 My cat's a Methodist. 0.67

00:01:10.700 A trigger warning for the sound of people eating oranges.

00:01:15.460 Yeah, a policeman was hit with a pineapple at a far-right rally.

00:01:20.500 Starmageddon.

00:01:21.540 I want to meet a pygmy. If anyone's got one, get in touch. 1.00

00:01:25.100 If I can't walk down the street with my tits out, I can't express who I am.

00:01:30.260 Elon Musk has got these tribals addicted to porn. 0.99

00:01:33.580 Here's how you can profit off of it.

00:01:35.620 Which supermarket is not safe for LGBT people? Tell me and I'll shop there. 1.00

00:01:40.460 Hey, kids.

00:01:41.900 Need your gums checking?

00:01:43.680 Ah.

00:01:44.420 Do you want to get in the van?

00:01:45.880 I'm a qualified dentist.

00:01:48.680 Oh, I've got this underage girl tied up at my apartment. Do you want to come and have a go? 1.00

00:01:52.900 Oh, really?

00:01:54.360 I can also shoot electricity from my fingers.

00:01:58.340 I'm serious. I'm a serious politician.

00:02:00.160 I'm taking care of the law.

00:02:01.160 Lay down the law.

00:02:02.940 That's why someone has to say they're not a fascist. Like, okay.

00:02:05.620 I'm not Japanese.

00:02:07.100 Project 2025 will feed my abandoned Tamagotchi.

00:02:10.460 I wholeheartedly agree with Piers Morgan.

00:02:12.300 I'm now in a delusion of death cult.

00:02:15.700 It's like a nation of gypsies. 1.00

00:02:17.580 An entire continent of gypsies. 1.00

00:02:19.420 I don't know how we're all wearing blazers.

00:02:20.820 We're in a vest.

00:02:22.240 I don't need hope.

00:02:23.620 I just do things because I'm an independent libertarian.

00:02:29.440 I have been summoned.

00:02:31.060 What was that a reference to?

00:02:33.100 Maybe...

00:02:34.020 Oh, Fauci! 0.85

00:02:35.500 Donald Trump's going to personally come to your house and he's going to strangle your cat in front of your baby's eyes

00:02:40.560 and then traumatize you all.

00:02:42.700 Look at the face on that one.

00:02:44.160 I heard I say that.

00:02:46.500 Didn't age well, did he?

00:02:47.260 Just at a glance, a moron.

00:02:49.360 Oh, yeah. Tax me harder, daddy. 0.64

00:02:51.420 Lol, you get what you voted for. Lol, vote harder next time. Lol.

00:02:55.440 I would like to see what happens when you put chimpanzees on cocaine.

00:03:00.120 That's true.

00:03:00.680 Oh, that's crazy money supply edition.

00:03:04.400 We had prayer for the chicken so that by the time the goblin died, the spirit would move from the goblin into the chicken.

00:03:12.300 I think three women should be able to get married because why not? It's a good thing. 1.00

00:03:15.100 Jesus would love it.

00:03:16.660 Oh, that was a dodgy take. I just don't agree. I just, I can't see it.

00:03:21.180 Go on then.

00:03:27.020 Basically, Joe Biden, I'm so drugged up.

00:03:29.060 I was assigned mammal at birth, but I identify as a fish.

00:03:34.140 She's not actually a historian in any meaningful sense. She's an activist partisan.

00:03:37.880 She's a quasi-deranged crypto-communist boomer shill, handpicked and sent to pervert and subvert decent society. 1.00

00:03:44.480 She is, in a number of ways, the very antithesis of a historian.

00:03:48.940 Why can't the pygmies be the people who are coming over on the boats and being the delivery drivers? 1.00

00:03:53.180 That'd be hilarious if your pizza was delivered by a pygmy. 1.00

00:03:56.100 I've got a magnificent arse.

00:03:58.000 We need more gay 12-year-olds. 0.98

00:04:01.520 I'm gonna cut your throat. 1.00

00:04:03.860 I could smell the burning tyres, so I left the windows open.

00:04:08.580 My religion doesn't recognise income tax. How about that?

00:04:11.620 I want a robot butler that folds my shirts.

00:04:15.340 You've got a wife, haven't you?

00:04:17.300 Well, I find her eyebrows offensive. 0.94

00:04:19.340 Yeah.

00:04:20.220 We can drop F-bombs on Lads Hour.

00:04:22.780 We shouldn't.

00:04:23.980 Can we drop C-bombs?

00:04:25.500 No.

00:04:26.020 N-bombs definitely off the table. 0.53

00:04:27.320 And also, with climate change, coca plants are gonna be grown in Devon.

00:04:32.860 Yeah, we don't even control our own cocaine industry in this country.

00:04:35.860 I know.

00:04:36.160 It's going to the dogs, isn't it?

00:04:37.620 Absolute disgrace.

00:04:38.720 Great cut there.

00:04:39.620 No pride, no country, full of terrorists.

00:04:42.460 Connor's a secret Muslim. 1.00

00:04:43.620 I'll get his rails, Spider-Man.

00:04:46.660 Stelios would never bang a table.

00:04:49.140 I'm Stelios, I'm 34.

00:04:50.860 I just vandalised my neighbour's car.

00:04:54.320 Lotus Eater never changes.

00:04:55.640 Well, that was absolute gold.

00:05:04.860 Yep.

00:05:05.640 Absolute gold.

00:05:06.540 The fact that this man does these for free, thank you very much.

00:05:10.040 Suggests he's got far too much free time on his hands.

00:05:13.020 Genuinely hilarious.

00:05:14.820 Right, I guess let's go to a video comment.

00:05:16.960 The funniest one in here is from Frank, who says,

00:05:23.360 The abortion rates for black women are several times higher than for whites.

00:05:28.420 You can't say that!

00:05:30.400 The podcast of the Lotus Eaters.

00:05:32.320 Look at the black babies we've got killed in the abortion clinics. 1.00

00:05:35.180 If we were for great replacement, we would forbid the blacks from having abortions. 1.00

00:05:39.640 Idiots!

00:05:40.340 Come on! 0.61

00:05:40.800 Jesus!

00:05:41.640 Live, weekdays from 1pm UK time on loadseaters.com.

00:05:45.860 Anyway, do women have rights? 1.00

00:05:47.100 These are all very important questions.

00:05:52.120 I mean, I...

00:05:53.220 Still undecided.

00:05:54.480 I wonder why our reputation precedes us.

00:05:56.740 I can't imagine what someone could disagree with.

00:05:58.900 We have fun on the podcast.

00:06:00.820 Unlike news shows, we have fun.

00:06:03.080 We turn it up slightly, Samson, as well.

00:06:05.460 Just quite quiet in the room.

00:06:06.800 Thank you.

00:06:07.120 It is indeed.

00:06:08.380 Right, let's go to the next one.

00:06:10.880 Hello, Lotus Eaters.

00:06:12.300 I've followed Carl since the early days of Gamergate.

00:06:14.660 11 years now has made a man into a father,

00:06:16.400 and his ideas into a band of merry men of Swindon.

00:06:19.320 Congratulations on 1,000 episodes.

00:06:21.120 Here's to 1,000 more.

00:06:22.860 My question for you is this.

00:06:24.400 What belief do you hold that no one would expect from you?

00:06:27.120 For example, despite my well-known love of ancient liberties,

00:06:29.920 I am a tyrant in one respect.

00:06:31.880 The man of strong body and thus sound mind

00:06:33.820 is so essential to society that being a fat slob should be a crime. 1.00

00:06:38.100 Health is not just a virtue.

00:06:39.640 It's mandatory.

00:06:43.340 Harry?

00:06:45.260 Others first.

00:06:46.060 I'm still thinking.

00:06:47.880 Okay, Josh?

00:06:49.140 It's an aesthetic crime.

00:06:51.140 I think bad smells and bad sights should be illegal.

00:06:54.180 That's my authoritarian take.

00:06:56.160 Are we banning ugly people now?

00:06:57.700 From public, yes.

00:06:59.320 I mean, it's people punishing themselves.

00:07:01.060 If you punish them for punishing themselves,

00:07:03.020 it's just, you know...

00:07:05.340 What's your unexpected?

00:07:08.240 I have thousands of them.

00:07:10.760 Give us one.

00:07:11.460 One?

00:07:11.880 I don't know what the bounds of acceptability are.

00:07:16.660 Choose one that you feel is moderate.

00:07:22.240 Spoken like a true business owner.

00:07:23.500 What would you do to the Turks? 0.84

00:07:26.180 That's not unexpected, is it?

00:07:28.240 Deportation.

00:07:28.880 I mean, that's not unexpected.

00:07:30.620 I've got one to give you.

00:07:31.420 I've already deported them.

00:07:33.320 I care about animal rights.

00:07:34.600 There you go.

00:07:35.060 There's one.

00:07:36.640 Go on, Connor.

00:07:37.160 What's yours?

00:07:39.700 I feel like I've already gotten all of mine out

00:07:41.640 with my appalling music taste

00:07:42.880 that everyone pretty fairly...

00:07:44.560 That was expected.

00:07:45.460 Don't worry.

00:07:45.840 Oh, okay.

00:07:47.480 We can tell looking at you.

00:07:48.980 That's okay.

00:07:49.580 All right.

00:07:49.800 Fair point.

00:07:50.160 I've thought of mine.

00:07:51.220 Go on, man.

00:07:51.520 I don't have weird views.

00:07:54.160 I would pull up all of the roads in all towns

00:07:59.160 and replace them with tram services.

00:08:02.200 Okay.

00:08:02.960 Spoken like a true man.

00:08:03.640 I don't have weird views.

00:08:04.580 Okay, yeah.

00:08:05.300 You're a maniac.

00:08:05.780 I think you inspired me.

00:08:07.780 I would have an aesthetic standard

00:08:10.060 and any building that didn't meet this standard,

00:08:12.480 I would demolish it.

00:08:13.400 Obviously, no people inside.

00:08:16.840 Why did you feel the need to specify that?

00:08:19.160 Because, you know,

00:08:19.960 there are some good fellows of our show.

00:08:22.280 Only the architect that designed it.

00:08:25.260 I don't really have any, like,

00:08:26.820 things that I want to do

00:08:28.160 that I don't really express.

00:08:30.520 One that surprised me,

00:08:31.880 to answer on your behalf,

00:08:33.040 is your love of Freybentos tinned pies.

00:08:36.940 That surprised me.

00:08:38.300 I've never heard someone speak well

00:08:39.840 of a Freybentos pie.

00:08:39.860 Why was that so surprising

00:08:40.880 that Carl would like pies?

00:08:42.740 No, but a tinned pie.

00:08:43.920 I don't mean that to sound...

00:08:46.620 Hey, man.

00:08:47.740 I'm what I am.

00:08:49.140 The Freybentos ones in particular

00:08:50.760 are better than you would expect.

00:08:53.060 Yeah, I just didn't know

00:08:54.140 tinned pies were even a thing.

00:08:56.320 When our positions are mainstream,

00:08:57.980 they're going to use that

00:08:58.940 on the pies,

00:09:00.260 on the tins.

00:09:01.340 Carl Benjamin,

00:09:02.320 better than you'd expect.

00:09:03.920 And they can have that for free.

00:09:06.300 Okay, I can say something

00:09:08.260 that perhaps wouldn't be unexpected,

00:09:10.800 but it has to be said.

00:09:13.220 You know how every now and then

00:09:14.420 I send you some weird stuff?

00:09:16.360 What do you mean every now and then?

00:09:18.140 Exactly.

00:09:18.780 That you find cringy and...

00:09:20.800 Would you ban us not watching it?

00:09:21.820 I don't feel any remorse for that.

00:09:24.900 We know.

00:09:26.640 Yeah, it's just...

00:09:28.260 That's not an unexpected political policy.

00:09:30.640 That's just...

00:09:31.440 No, the policy would be...

00:09:33.020 That's just remorselessness.

00:09:34.460 The policy would be

00:09:35.400 that there is a level of,

00:09:36.720 you know, twerking and stuff

00:09:38.020 that I wouldn't ban.

00:09:39.360 Like other people.

00:09:40.580 No, I wouldn't ban.

00:09:41.920 Stelios likes it

00:09:42.960 as a sort of court jester.

00:09:44.560 I've come to really hate women dancing. 1.00

00:09:47.420 Right?

00:09:48.340 Just...

00:09:49.500 Are you referring to the

00:09:50.520 Gen Z, Bob and the Mini?

00:09:51.580 Insha'Allah, Carl.

00:09:52.600 Should they just sit there

00:09:53.980 like Tutankhamen?

00:09:55.400 I don't know what they should be doing.

00:09:57.200 Dancing is haram.

00:09:58.040 What they shouldn't be doing

00:09:59.120 is TikTok dancing at a camera.

00:10:01.280 Right?

00:10:01.580 I've just come to really hate it.

00:10:03.760 Like, it's just...

00:10:04.680 What are you doing?

00:10:05.640 Why are you doing this?

00:10:06.540 What do you think you're doing

00:10:07.840 when you're dancing at a camera?

00:10:09.520 This is a very male thing.

00:10:10.660 Trust me.

00:10:11.020 I've been trying to work this out.

00:10:12.320 We hate it because it's frivolous

00:10:14.060 and it seems like time-wasting.

00:10:15.240 It's not even that.

00:10:16.080 But for them,

00:10:18.100 it's in-group status signalling.

00:10:21.120 That's what it must be.

00:10:21.980 Oh, let's not get gay 1.00

00:10:23.220 and analytical about this.

00:10:24.920 This is fucking lads hour.

00:10:26.100 Okay?

00:10:26.860 I just hate dancing.

00:10:28.020 Dancing.

00:10:28.300 What are you dancing?

00:10:28.940 If they have a diamond

00:10:29.800 in their nostril...

00:10:31.080 In their nostril...

00:10:32.360 In their belly button or something.

00:10:33.700 Was it a stone?

00:10:34.880 Yeah, diamond.

00:10:35.380 And then it became a diamond.

00:10:36.900 A green panther.

00:10:37.680 Remembering one specific element

00:10:39.240 of gooning material here.

00:10:40.500 Oh.

00:10:41.180 Just like, you know,

00:10:41.760 you get like three women 0.91

00:10:42.580 and they're dancing

00:10:43.160 staring at this camera.

00:10:44.080 I'm like,

00:10:44.260 what do you think you...

00:10:45.520 It's also...

00:10:46.340 They're pleasing us.

00:10:48.040 They're not pleasing me.

00:10:49.080 They're annoying me.

00:10:49.820 Go away.

00:10:51.020 It is annoying.

00:10:51.860 Listen, Stelios is wearing

00:10:55.080 that particular outfit

00:10:56.020 for a reason, okay?

00:10:57.140 He's got some women 1.00

00:10:57.880 to meet after this.

00:11:00.240 Dancing is just

00:11:00.960 sexual selection.

00:11:02.140 He's like the guy

00:11:02.540 out front of the strip bar

00:11:04.320 and from dusk till dawn

00:11:05.420 just marketing.

00:11:07.160 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:11:08.060 We got...

00:11:08.960 Yeah, that's it.

00:11:10.640 We got all sorts.

00:11:11.920 Actually, no.

00:11:12.780 I'm the guy inside the bar.

00:11:15.540 The twister.

00:11:16.680 You remember.

00:11:17.480 What, you calling the...

00:11:18.520 Tarantino?

00:11:19.360 Yeah, that's Robert Rodriguez.

00:11:20.780 With Salma Hayek.

00:11:24.940 I just want to say

00:11:25.900 thank you, by the way,

00:11:27.080 to everyone who has

00:11:28.080 sent Super Chat donations in.

00:11:30.280 There have been

00:11:30.820 absolutely loads

00:11:31.680 and I hate to have to

00:11:32.500 summarize loads of people

00:11:33.600 but thank you very much.

00:11:35.860 It's very, very generous

00:11:36.680 and we're very appreciative.

00:11:38.540 Shall we go to

00:11:39.480 the next video comment?

00:11:41.920 We'll see you next time.

00:12:11.920 This is the intro music

00:12:15.100 to the podcast.

00:12:16.880 Why didn't you

00:12:17.500 really just fuck that?

00:12:22.280 How's it mine?

00:12:23.240 In fact, it's bass.

00:12:24.300 Yeah.

00:12:26.160 We're going to try

00:12:26.680 to play the drums.

00:12:28.220 Really?

00:12:28.720 Yeah.

00:12:33.200 Is he not a fan

00:12:34.280 blowing his head?

00:12:38.500 Cheeky bastard.

00:12:39.420 Very impressive.

00:12:56.020 Cheers.

00:12:56.620 Thanks, Ron.

00:12:57.100 Thank you very much.

00:12:58.640 Good product placement

00:12:59.660 of the Islander as well.

00:13:00.880 Yeah.

00:13:01.160 Well done.

00:13:01.360 Yeah.

00:13:01.480 Should we go through

00:13:03.860 some more comments?

00:13:04.400 People have sent us

00:13:05.080 loads of comments.

00:13:06.440 Not just the string says,

00:13:08.940 on Lotus Eats episode

00:13:09.820 1000,

00:13:10.420 at the time of Rumble,

00:13:11.260 rant,

00:13:12.040 the Bitcoin block height

00:13:13.360 is

00:13:13.920 861,141.

00:13:17.700 Price,

00:13:18.320 44,310 pounds.

00:13:21.240 Market cap,

00:13:21.780 1.15 trillion dollars.

00:13:23.880 And a hash rate

00:13:24.480 of 619.1 EHS.

00:13:27.600 Thank you,

00:13:27.940 boys,

00:13:28.140 for what you do.

00:13:28.480 I don't understand

00:13:33.920 Bitcoin at all.

00:13:35.520 No, I don't.

00:13:36.200 So I don't know

00:13:36.880 how any of that

00:13:37.600 information helps

00:13:38.680 the UK,

00:13:39.640 but hopefully it does.

00:13:42.360 There are lots

00:13:43.180 of numbers there.

00:13:44.400 Let's go to the next video.

00:13:45.280 Josh, you're the libertarian.

00:13:46.240 You should know

00:13:46.640 what Bitcoin is.

00:13:47.820 How does it work?

00:13:48.320 I know what it is.

00:13:48.960 Tell us.

00:13:49.260 How does it work?

00:13:50.740 I don't know how it works.

00:13:51.940 Fine.

00:13:52.220 Haitian children,

00:13:52.960 can you keep your secrets?

00:13:54.740 They give them away

00:13:55.540 for free these days.

00:13:56.580 You've not seen,

00:13:58.220 you know,

00:13:59.020 Hollywood celebrities.

00:14:01.260 This is a story

00:14:02.100 of how I,

00:14:03.140 Jason Kaye,

00:14:04.160 came to know

00:14:04.840 the Lotus Eaters.

00:14:06.300 On June the 1st,

00:14:07.540 there was a rally

00:14:08.260 at which Carl spoke.

00:14:10.080 On 27th of July,

00:14:11.800 it was even bigger.

00:14:13.160 This is just

00:14:13.740 the most amazing thing

00:14:15.140 I've ever seen

00:14:15.760 in my life.

00:14:18.940 I feel for free speech

00:14:20.480 and look for someone new.

00:14:22.220 I found a bunch of guys

00:14:23.560 imparting their wisdom.

00:14:24.900 My first podcast spoke

00:14:27.040 of an unlikable jewel

00:14:28.380 and now a thousand

00:14:29.800 episodes abound.

00:14:32.540 Awesome.

00:14:33.380 Oh, thank you.

00:14:34.160 Thank you very much.

00:14:34.980 Welcome aboard.

00:14:36.080 The Shadow Band

00:14:36.800 sent us a super chat

00:14:37.420 of $100.

00:14:38.460 Oh, well, thank you very much.

00:14:41.140 King Shah Raya

00:14:43.020 decided to marry

00:14:44.800 one virgin loadseater

00:14:46.020 after another

00:14:46.600 and execute them 0.61

00:14:47.340 until he married

00:14:48.000 Sorgona of Akkad

00:14:49.440 who decided to show him

00:14:50.440 one Sensible Centrist podcast

00:14:51.480 every day

00:14:52.040 for 1,001 nights.

00:14:53.340 That sounds like

00:14:54.720 an incredible story

00:14:55.660 and I'd like to read more.

00:14:58.700 Can you send the installments

00:14:59.940 in $100 super chat?

00:15:01.360 Yeah.

00:15:03.920 There are loads

00:15:05.060 and loads

00:15:05.460 and loads of comments

00:15:06.220 saying well done

00:15:07.400 so thank you.

00:15:09.760 Somebody says

00:15:10.480 Mason Roy said

00:15:11.700 he left his public sector

00:15:12.880 role today.

00:15:13.640 Good job.

00:15:15.320 Well, apparently it wasn't

00:15:16.420 because he left.

00:15:19.560 Listen, one less person

00:15:21.000 in the public sector

00:15:21.920 is a good thing.

00:15:22.440 But don't worry

00:15:23.060 the money will just go

00:15:23.660 straight to the pocket

00:15:24.500 of an illegal immigrant.

00:15:25.580 Yeah, exactly.

00:15:26.260 No, that means that

00:15:26.980 some leftist or illegal

00:15:28.020 is now working

00:15:28.800 getting the money

00:15:29.560 that you're getting.

00:15:30.100 I say get as many

00:15:30.960 of our guys in there

00:15:31.660 as possible.

00:15:32.100 Yep.

00:15:32.920 Jam up the system.

00:15:33.940 Yeah, until the entire

00:15:35.280 public sector is just

00:15:36.220 commanded by some leftists

00:15:38.620 but every single person

00:15:39.640 they have to deal with

00:15:40.180 is just an inveterate racist. 0.53

00:15:46.680 Has to start the day

00:15:47.800 with an end tower

00:15:48.580 or his staff won't do anything.

00:15:50.360 Obviously they're not

00:15:50.900 going to do that

00:15:51.260 and they'll get them fired. 1.00

00:15:51.980 But just, you know,

00:15:52.900 whenever they're dealing

00:15:53.520 with anyone

00:15:53.860 they just know

00:15:54.340 they're dealing

00:15:54.660 with someone

00:15:55.000 who's just, you know,

00:15:55.940 got a non-account

00:15:56.660 and posting in towers.

00:15:58.420 Let's go to the next comment.

00:16:01.400 Hello, gentlemen.

00:16:02.380 It's been a while

00:16:03.020 since I've done one of these.

00:16:04.700 Congratulations on

00:16:05.540 a thousand episodes.

00:16:06.400 That's a pretty big

00:16:07.960 accomplishment right there.

00:16:10.820 So at the behest

00:16:11.820 of the chat,

00:16:12.600 I apologize in advance.

00:16:15.220 Josh, you are a handsome

00:16:16.840 gentleman with an aura

00:16:17.860 of vampiric grace.

00:16:18.880 Your soothing voice

00:16:19.860 is like soft rain

00:16:20.960 and hearing it

00:16:21.700 makes women melt 1.00

00:16:22.380 into dreams

00:16:22.920 of fey fantasy.

00:16:24.940 Anyway, I only get

00:16:25.720 30 seconds

00:16:26.320 so excuse me

00:16:27.080 while I go die

00:16:27.800 of embarrassment.

00:16:29.540 Why, thank you very much.

00:16:30.560 That was very kind of me.

00:16:31.240 I don't even keep her

00:16:31.940 waiting.

00:16:33.440 As long as she keeps

00:16:34.360 sending us three chocolate.

00:16:35.340 Thanks for that, by the way.

00:16:35.980 Yeah, good point.

00:16:36.760 Don't say that.

00:16:37.440 Stay away from the sun, Josh.

00:16:38.980 Also, adorable dog.

00:16:41.520 That is a lovely dog,

00:16:42.580 isn't it?

00:16:43.100 Yeah.

00:16:44.480 Right, let's go to the next.

00:16:45.620 Keep it safe from the Haitians. 1.00

00:16:46.440 Playing the next one.

00:16:50.520 Hi, Lotus Eaters.

00:16:51.540 Congrats on making it

00:16:52.460 to Podcast 1000.

00:16:54.060 I just have two questions.

00:16:55.520 First, for the merch team,

00:16:56.880 would you consider selling

00:16:57.740 Lotus Eater pint glasses

00:16:59.040 or whiskey glasses?

00:17:00.540 And second, for Bo and Carl,

00:17:02.740 would you be willing to do

00:17:03.700 an Epoch or Epoch series

00:17:05.040 on Robin Hood?

00:17:06.400 Thanks for all the hard work

00:17:07.560 you do.

00:17:09.420 Robin Hood's probably

00:17:10.120 not a real person.

00:17:12.260 You'd have an amazing episode,

00:17:13.360 though.

00:17:13.720 Sure, sure.

00:17:14.120 But it wouldn't be an Epochs.

00:17:17.340 Robin Hood denial.

00:17:18.560 On the Robin Hood mythos.

00:17:19.940 This is just like Santa denial.

00:17:22.140 Disgraceful.

00:17:22.800 I'm just saying, you know,

00:17:24.440 we're trying to make it about...

00:17:25.420 Robin Hood's one of my heroes.

00:17:27.000 He hates the tax man, you know?

00:17:29.120 Well, and more.

00:17:32.200 He's middle managers everywhere.

00:17:34.600 As for the whiskey glasses

00:17:35.520 and that,

00:17:36.160 we can ask the backroom team,

00:17:37.940 we don't know how fragile

00:17:39.200 the shipping might be.

00:17:40.940 I don't know if it's that.

00:17:41.740 It's just whatever's available.

00:17:43.360 Yeah.

00:17:43.660 It still does.

00:17:44.600 Yeah, but I mean,

00:17:45.740 we can do better than that.

00:17:47.780 I can do better than that.

00:17:49.300 Sure.

00:17:49.820 Or we can.

00:17:51.160 Stadios is going to forge them

00:17:52.300 by hand.

00:17:54.960 There'd be a whiskey glass.

00:17:56.480 The ancient Greeks

00:17:57.040 had glass blowing, didn't they?

00:17:58.340 You know,

00:17:58.820 you can rediscover the art.

00:18:00.120 They certainly had a type of blowing.

00:18:02.740 Did they have glass blowing?

00:18:04.720 I'm sure they must have.

00:18:05.920 No, they probably just had pottery.

00:18:08.360 No, they probably didn't.

00:18:09.080 Well, the Romans had glass.

00:18:10.680 I imagine the Greeks had glass.

00:18:11.160 Yeah, but that was like

00:18:11.700 500 years later.

00:18:12.920 Oh, really?

00:18:13.500 Yeah.

00:18:13.820 So they found glass in Britain

00:18:15.860 from the Roman occupation, so...

00:18:17.960 I don't know.

00:18:18.620 I mean, it's...

00:18:19.520 I would have to check.

00:18:20.640 Unless Time Team planted it there

00:18:22.180 when I watched that episode

00:18:23.020 a few weeks ago.

00:18:24.940 Who knows?

00:18:25.960 Yeah, but that's still

00:18:26.580 500 years or so on, right?

00:18:29.060 Yeah, yeah, that's true.

00:18:30.340 Yeah, fair point.

00:18:30.980 If it's like

00:18:31.340 first or second century or something.

00:18:32.460 All right, let's go to the next one.

00:18:35.600 I just wanted to say

00:18:36.800 thank you guys for everything.

00:18:38.820 It's been a pleasure watching

00:18:41.060 for 1,000 episodes.

00:18:43.800 And I hope you guys

00:18:44.940 can get another 2,000, 3,000 episodes

00:18:47.880 or even more in.

00:18:50.220 If you're ever up in Wisconsin,

00:18:51.940 I'd love to buy you guys

00:18:53.160 dinner, drinks, or whatever.

00:18:57.340 Thank you for everything.

00:18:59.660 God bless.

00:19:01.540 Thanks, man.

00:19:02.140 I appreciate it, man.

00:19:02.660 Very wholesome.

00:19:03.960 The next 1,000 milestone

00:19:05.560 is entirely dependent

00:19:06.420 on whether or not

00:19:06.900 Starmer throws us in prison,

00:19:08.000 but let's hope not.

00:19:09.300 Unironically...

00:19:09.740 We can still stream from prison.

00:19:10.940 It'll be fine.

00:19:11.460 The future of the podcast

00:19:12.380 hinges on whether

00:19:13.200 our tyrannical government

00:19:14.120 will kill us or not.

00:19:16.780 And the jury's out on that.

00:19:18.820 Go to the next one.

00:19:19.420 Well, and now here's more

00:19:21.440 deep geekery

00:19:22.540 for the 1,000th episode

00:19:24.760 for Connor and Harry.

00:19:27.600 Guys,

00:19:29.420 what famous program.

00:19:32.140 from Jerry and Sylvia Anderson

00:19:34.940 has as its start date

00:19:38.640 September 13th, 1999.

00:19:42.100 I didn't realise

00:19:46.820 that we were doing

00:19:47.440 a pub quiz today.

00:19:49.180 September 13th, 1999.

00:19:50.840 Am I...

00:19:51.340 Everyone's gonna be...

00:19:52.940 I'm not eating

00:19:53.520 mysterious things.

00:19:54.700 Thank you.

00:19:55.380 Don't worry, I'll tell you

00:19:56.120 what it is after.

00:19:56.560 I'm not, I'm not, I'm not,

00:19:57.580 I'm not eating...

00:19:58.200 I hope it's not a cat.

00:19:59.200 I have...

00:19:59.820 This smells like cat.

00:20:00.640 I'm gonna...

00:20:01.100 I hope it's not a cat.

00:20:02.300 This looks like bark.

00:20:05.000 That'll be like...

00:20:05.880 It smells like coffee.

00:20:07.080 I'm not doing...

00:20:07.680 I'm not, I'm not eating...

00:20:08.720 Come on, Connor.

00:20:09.740 I'm not doing it.

00:20:10.520 Eat the mystery meat.

00:20:11.020 I refuse.

00:20:11.720 I refuse to eat.

00:20:12.620 I'm very, I'm very weird

00:20:13.820 about that sort of thing.

00:20:14.440 There's no different

00:20:15.160 than buying food

00:20:15.980 from an Indian corner shop.

00:20:17.120 Which is why I don't.

00:20:19.240 There you go.

00:20:19.640 Did this go meow?

00:20:20.260 That's gonna be like kangaroo

00:20:23.600 or something, isn't it?

00:20:28.580 Aside from being a bit tough...

00:20:29.940 It's all right.

00:20:34.100 What is it?

00:20:34.660 Asian cat.

00:20:35.240 No.

00:20:36.440 Venison and port.

00:20:38.000 Barbecues, Vic.

00:20:38.720 Venison.

00:20:39.380 From last year.

00:20:40.040 It's quite nice, yeah.

00:20:41.240 Venison and port.

00:20:42.780 Oh, port.

00:20:43.260 I like port and I like venison.

00:20:44.780 No, you should know.

00:20:46.840 The game is played.

00:20:47.940 I'm not knowing.

00:20:48.500 You can have this.

00:20:49.160 Shoot that bit. 0.98

00:20:49.800 No, actually.

00:20:50.700 This bit came off.

00:20:51.520 That's fine, I don't reckon.

00:20:52.980 I don't really like it.

00:20:54.480 You don't like venison or port?

00:20:56.220 The reason it's so dark,

00:20:57.660 I think, is because of the port.

00:20:58.360 It's just something dead and burned.

00:21:00.140 It is incredibly...

00:21:03.020 chewy.

00:21:04.620 It is very chewy, yeah.

00:21:07.080 I just don't like the flavor very much.

00:21:09.800 Okay.

00:21:11.540 Go for the next one.

00:21:12.540 Meow.

00:21:13.980 Also, Connor and I have no idea.

00:21:15.540 Sorry.

00:21:16.620 Yeah, no.

00:21:17.080 I don't know.

00:21:17.680 We'll have to look it up.

00:21:19.800 Well, in honor of the thousandth episode,

00:21:22.480 I thought I'd make a short video

00:21:24.420 and just say, you know,

00:21:27.280 becoming a subscriber to the Lotus Eaters

00:21:30.620 has been kind of a refuge

00:21:32.700 from the daily atrocities

00:21:35.360 that we see from our political class.

00:21:37.720 And it's good to be in amongst right-thinking people.

00:21:46.000 Why, thank you.

00:21:46.940 That's exactly the purpose of all this, by the way.

00:21:49.000 That's why it's called the Island of the Load Seaters.

00:21:51.260 Just, you know, be somewhere away from the normal.

00:21:55.740 Because the normal is becoming horrific.

00:21:57.620 Well, it's also nice to see regular faces in chat

00:21:59.780 that often stick around and help support us.

00:22:01.260 Not just because we like keeping the lights on,

00:22:02.500 but because it's nice to know

00:22:03.680 that you guys don't feel alone as well.

00:22:06.040 And there's an element of family into it.

00:22:09.920 Because when people share their stories

00:22:12.740 and their experiences of the world,

00:22:14.280 there's a kind of bonding.

00:22:15.680 Yeah.

00:22:16.680 I'm still waiting for Tony D and Lil Jon to come back.

00:22:19.580 Oh, yeah.

00:22:20.060 Definitely.

00:22:20.680 Let's go for the next one.

00:22:21.340 This whole cannibalism in Haiti reporting 0.61

00:22:25.800 reminds me of an old Monty Python skit

00:22:28.420 where they were doing the same thing.

00:22:30.100 Where essentially they said,

00:22:32.000 there is no cannibalism, there is no cannibalism.

00:22:35.180 And if there was any cannibalism,

00:22:37.060 if you wake up in the morning

00:22:38.140 with bite marks on any part of your body,

00:22:40.780 please report it to the authorities

00:22:42.440 and they'll be the first to hush it all up.

00:22:46.140 Wow.

00:22:47.040 It's really bad when life imitates art.

00:22:51.340 Well, that's the thing about the Ohio governor being like,

00:22:53.200 there's no reports of cats.

00:22:54.560 It's like, yeah, but it's all the geese.

00:22:55.660 It's the geese.

00:22:56.340 And the attorney general's like,

00:22:57.680 yeah, they're eating the geese.

00:22:58.420 Also, they do eat cats in Haiti.

00:23:00.000 Yeah, we covered that.

00:23:00.840 And I said this yesterday as well.

00:23:02.480 They also eat dirt.

00:23:03.860 If you think they're above eating cats,

00:23:05.680 you've got another thing coming.

00:23:06.920 I saw a thing on this

00:23:08.580 and apparently they buy dirt on credit.

00:23:12.560 I mean, wasn't there a cannibal last year?

00:23:14.960 Yeah.

00:23:15.540 Oh, 2020, 2021.

00:23:17.040 That's what I said.

00:23:18.100 Do they not know that the dirt at the park is free?

00:23:20.340 You can just take it.

00:23:21.360 That's exactly what was said on the podcast.

00:23:23.360 I've got 7,000 bags of dirt at home.

00:23:26.060 Yeah, no, I don't know why they pay money for dirt.

00:23:28.500 I assume it's some sort of special high-class dirt.

00:23:31.180 Well, given that IQ is a complete pseudoscience

00:23:34.060 that doesn't measure anything,

00:23:35.300 you know, it must be purely environmental factors.

00:23:37.720 Yeah.

00:23:38.240 It's probably the dirt they're eating.

00:23:39.480 Mostly socioeconomic.

00:23:41.160 It's very nutrient-rich dirt, Harry.

00:23:43.240 Good quality dirt.

00:23:44.620 I just can't get over it.

00:23:46.900 What if the dirt has lots of earthworms in? 0.72

00:23:49.000 Harry, I'm selling Haitian dirt. 1.00

00:23:51.180 Selling Haitian dirt. 1.00

00:23:52.180 That's some high-quality dirt.

00:23:54.420 Ironically, I would eat bugs before I ate dirt.

00:23:57.600 Yeah, of course.

00:23:58.320 Stop giving us Hobson's choices on today's podcast.

00:24:00.860 I'm not saying I'm in favour of it.

00:24:01.980 I don't think he's like ultimatum guns in your head.

00:24:05.020 You've got to have one of these.

00:24:06.240 I don't know.

00:24:06.820 I've got some more in here.

00:24:07.680 Oh, no, he's got more stuck.

00:24:08.620 One of these is a bug.

00:24:09.860 Yeah.

00:24:10.100 I gave you venison.

00:24:11.040 That was good.

00:24:11.660 I love venison.

00:24:12.080 I didn't like it.

00:24:12.840 And is it inedible?

00:24:13.760 I couldn't actually chew through that.

00:24:14.920 I didn't like it.

00:24:15.580 I wish I had something to wash the taste out of my mouth.

00:24:17.880 The fever of London teeth can't...

00:24:19.540 Can't consume what the country...

00:24:21.760 Look at this record.

00:24:23.500 But the point being, right, you're on a tropical island.

00:24:26.580 There must be, like, things around.

00:24:28.480 Well, they cut all the trees down.

00:24:30.480 Oh.

00:24:31.260 Do they?

00:24:31.880 They're almost all gone, yeah.

00:24:32.940 Yeah, there's a line that you can see on the border of Haiti and the Dominican Republic

00:24:37.760 where Haiti's just noticed.

00:24:39.180 That's why they don't have paper.

00:24:39.860 Okay, okay, okay.

00:24:41.020 You're on a tropical island.

00:24:42.240 You're surrounded by ocean.

00:24:45.200 It's got to be fishing.

00:24:45.920 They shit in the ocean.

00:24:48.660 Josh showed me this yesterday.

00:24:50.740 Not only...

00:24:51.620 They shit where they fish. 0.99

00:24:53.340 Not only do they do that, there aren't many fish left either.

00:24:56.100 What do you mean left?

00:24:57.220 As in they've eaten them all.

00:24:58.400 Have they actually fished them to near extinction?

00:25:00.580 Yeah, they've overfished to the...

00:25:02.320 Ugh.

00:25:03.140 There'd be no fish.

00:25:04.240 You're on a tropical island and the soil is insanely fertile.

00:25:06.860 Why don't you plant something?

00:25:08.480 Because you're eating it.

00:25:10.160 God damn it.

00:25:10.480 I don't think they understand monocrop agriculture.

00:25:12.340 We know that they do because there used to be a sugar plantation.

00:25:14.980 Yeah, but who was running the sugar plantation?

00:25:16.940 Yeah, but even then they still produce sugar. 0.98

00:25:19.420 It can't be accidental.

00:25:20.160 They can't grow crops if they're eating the dirt as well. 0.99

00:25:22.560 Yeah, but it can't be accidental if they're accidentally growing sugar.

00:25:25.300 They still have a sugar industry.

00:25:27.020 Maybe they think that the crops just come from the dirt.

00:25:29.200 I don't know.

00:25:30.800 Let's go for the next one.

00:25:31.860 Jesus.

00:25:32.500 Nice.

00:25:33.640 Hello, Lotus Citizen crew.

00:25:35.380 Happy 1000th episode and congratulations on the guests and presenters that you've acquired.

00:25:39.640 I believe now with our 1000 episodes, you're in the 0.00001% of podcasts in terms of episodes released.

00:25:48.120 And I'd like to make a recommendation for interviewers that you could possibly do.

00:25:51.540 This one's for Dan and maybe even Carl.

00:25:53.420 John Anderson.

00:25:54.000 He was a deputy premier of Australia between the years of 2000, 2005 and paid quite a bit of back in debt.

00:26:00.900 And when it comes to economics, that'd be a good one.

00:26:03.420 And maybe even get rid of his liberalism.

00:26:06.860 Another guest or interviewee would be Marshall Winston.

00:26:10.600 That'd be a good one just for the podcast as a whole.

00:26:13.040 And the third one, Dave Smith, which he usually goes to the UK towards the end of the year for a comedy tour.

00:26:18.240 Well, maybe you can get Count Denkilon as well for that one, for a lead sale or something.

00:26:22.920 And saying that libertarianism is actually socialists or something.

00:26:26.560 That'd be a fun one.

00:26:27.320 See you, buddy?

00:26:27.620 I like his app part of the problem.

00:26:31.300 I like Dave Smith.

00:26:33.540 I listen to his show quite a lot.

00:26:35.180 And he's one of the good libertarians.

00:26:37.240 And also, I want to say about Marshall Winston that we are planning on sending him.

00:26:44.640 Oh, are we?

00:26:45.220 Oh, that's good.

00:26:45.680 I know Winston.

00:26:46.820 He seems like a nice guy.

00:26:49.100 He's a good bloke.

00:26:50.020 Yeah, he's a nice fella.

00:26:51.280 His debate with Nancy Pelosi at the Oxford Union.

00:26:54.980 I'll just send him a DM.

00:26:56.240 Winston Marshall debated Nancy Pelosi at Oxford Union about populism.

00:26:59.940 I did not know about this.

00:27:01.860 John Anderson as well.

00:27:03.240 He's part of the art crowd, so I'm one sphere away.

00:27:06.840 So I might be able to say hello.

00:27:08.460 We'll see.

00:27:10.120 The next one.

00:27:11.480 Is this the real Josh firm?

00:27:12.800 Yes, it is.

00:27:13.120 This episode is looking at your mum.

00:27:15.620 I'm sure you'll have a chance with her, Josh.

00:27:18.220 The early coyote got fired after this.

00:27:20.420 We tried building a big wooden horse.

00:27:22.880 Oh, Germany, we're sorry.

00:27:24.520 I respect evil more than most people.

00:27:28.740 Speaking of other hairy creatures that probably stink, Hitler. 0.89

00:27:32.480 Anybody out there trying to come up with any evil plots, Josh is giving you some ideas.

00:27:36.240 I am normally a source of evil plots, but this is beyond the pale even for me.

00:27:40.300 Vintage clothing business owner says her hair looks better than ever.

00:27:44.900 Wait, that's the Laura Ashley.

00:27:47.180 Can you just get it cut?

00:27:48.000 No, come on. 0.85

00:27:48.700 Fringe looks like a barcode.

00:27:50.120 As long as you've got bits to it.

00:27:51.400 Yeah, there's no use crying at all.

00:27:52.640 No, I'm not trying.

00:27:53.660 Terrible.

00:27:53.980 What can I throw at you?

00:27:54.640 Okay.

00:27:55.440 What's wrong with it?

00:27:56.660 That was one of my favourite weekend segments of all time, where we just sat around for 20

00:28:01.120 minutes insulting vegans.

00:28:02.320 That is one of the funniest memories I have of working at this place.

00:28:04.700 Are you going to try some?

00:28:05.420 It smells grim.

00:28:06.220 That looks weird.

00:28:07.640 Alex.

00:28:07.960 I mean, you have to.

00:28:09.140 You kind of have to.

00:28:10.080 It doesn't taste bad.

00:28:11.100 All right, all right.

00:28:13.220 I'll try that little bit.

00:28:14.780 Are you going to refuse the offer?

00:28:16.680 All right.

00:28:17.940 This looks like it comes off of some kind of pagan relic.

00:28:22.420 It tastes like whiskey, but I'm not sure if that's because I've just drank some whiskey.

00:28:27.920 I'm sure it's just good.

00:28:29.580 This tastes better.

00:28:32.100 It's still not great, though.

00:28:34.140 Yes.

00:28:35.360 I'll try now.

00:28:37.480 You're waiting for me, you bastard.

00:28:39.320 That's what I did before.

00:28:40.440 What the hell?

00:28:40.940 I've been eating these straight away.

00:28:41.540 I want to see if you're going to live.

00:28:43.220 I want to see if you survive by eating it.

00:28:45.160 Where did you get all these things?

00:28:46.160 Are you the Roman emperor or something?

00:28:48.180 Oh.

00:28:48.620 I don't know.

00:28:49.080 Right.

00:28:49.980 You're palming off birthday presents you don't want on us.

00:28:52.640 Yeah, I don't like this either.

00:28:56.160 You can have it.

00:28:56.900 So is this like food marinated meat?

00:28:59.700 Yeah.

00:29:00.200 Ah, so it probably does taste like whiskey.

00:29:02.020 That's why.

00:29:04.040 I really like it.

00:29:05.140 I'm trying to figure out what it is.

00:29:06.840 It tastes familiar.

00:29:07.740 Which doesn't narrow things down because I've eaten pretty much everything.

00:29:13.700 I can tell you whenever you're ready.

00:29:15.380 What do you think of it?

00:29:16.000 I don't know.

00:29:16.360 Just see everyone laughing there with his sinister smiles.

00:29:20.100 What is it?

00:29:20.800 Is this alligator?

00:29:21.560 Is this alligator?

00:29:22.680 No.

00:29:23.280 The fact that Carl's got a little plastic bag.

00:29:28.320 You can try a bit more if you want.

00:29:29.840 It's not bad.

00:29:30.520 Yeah, have some.

00:29:31.280 I eat slowly.

00:29:33.600 What is it?

00:29:38.960 Cider, whole grain mustard and rabbit.

00:29:42.000 Oh, it's rabbit.

00:29:42.840 Okay.

00:29:43.420 Okay.

00:29:43.940 I've never actually eaten rabbit before.

00:29:45.600 Neither have I.

00:29:46.800 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:47.240 Connor, do you want to try?

00:29:47.840 Okay, I'll try a little bit.

00:29:49.740 It's nice.

00:29:50.180 I feel bad.

00:29:51.560 I don't like it.

00:29:52.400 Think of the rabbits, Connor.

00:29:53.500 It's like chicken, isn't it?

00:29:54.840 It's like chicken.

00:29:55.740 Rabbit.

00:29:56.600 Are you crazy?

00:29:57.340 People say rabbit.

00:29:58.400 No, it's not like chicken.

00:29:59.440 I mean, it's rabbit.

00:30:00.240 How could it be like chicken?

00:30:01.700 Staleos is right.

00:30:03.980 It's gamey.

00:30:04.500 It's not bad, is it?

00:30:05.440 Rabbit's the quintessential game.

00:30:06.840 I feel guilty.

00:30:08.020 It was quite nice.

00:30:08.980 I didn't like it.

00:30:10.540 Harry only eats turkey dinosaurs.

00:30:12.100 You don't like it?

00:30:12.760 There you go.

00:30:13.540 If it was plain meat, I'd probably enjoy it more.

00:30:17.960 Harry is the Briton that Americans talk about.

00:30:21.540 The best Briton.

00:30:22.700 Let's go for the next one.

00:30:23.400 So, if you ever wanted to narrate articles, I suppose, just do all the ketamine that Rory

00:30:30.240 definitely doesn't have stashed under his desk.

00:30:32.300 I said definitely don't.

00:30:33.160 Don't worry.

00:30:33.640 For legal reasons.

00:30:34.460 And Staleos was just Uriel Sexton the first.

00:30:36.840 Who then ascended to godhood through his heroic deeds.

00:30:40.540 Exactly.

00:30:41.140 And I support this notion.

00:30:42.580 Okay, that's pretty serious.

00:30:43.840 These goblins are getting out of control, aren't they, Staleos? 0.87

00:30:45.880 Also make African school children.

00:30:47.240 You can possess them and then make them behave atrociously and kick up an enormous fuss and

00:30:51.640 just make the place intolerable.

00:30:52.800 Yes.

00:30:53.500 I see.

00:30:54.120 Children in Africa, Staleos, are really keen to go to school. 1.00

00:30:57.060 So, if you empty the bottle of the whiskey and then fill it with prayers, it actually fights

00:31:01.080 the goblins.

00:31:01.480 Yes, that does make sense now, yes.

00:31:04.180 Yeah, that makes sense.

00:31:05.660 These are some of my favourites.

00:31:07.580 That's why I'm emptying this.

00:31:09.780 Go on, let's go for Rue of the Days next one.

00:31:12.780 Well, what you're basically reading, Harry, is the future.

00:31:14.980 There's only thing sticking your rear end in the air over 13 minutes at a time of a couple

00:31:16.840 of hours justifies...

00:31:17.820 What was that?

00:31:18.360 Let's say she got there at 7 and left at 11 on the following night.

00:31:20.380 Wish there was alcohol as much.

00:31:21.460 All right, but one.

00:31:22.340 That's £300 an hour.

00:31:23.200 That's lawyer money.

00:31:24.880 Maybe she was giving him legal advice.

00:31:26.860 Well, it's possible because apparently a lot of girls substitute their university... 1.00

00:31:29.500 Listen, none of the other lawyers can help.

00:31:31.040 Do you know anything about my...

00:31:32.240 Maybe she's at Harvard undergrad paying off her college fees and she wrote...

00:31:35.660 his Burisma Settlement Agreement?

00:31:37.040 Oh, you went to Yale too?

00:31:38.000 Wow.

00:31:39.000 Were you expecting much except blank looks from both of us when you planned this?

00:31:42.800 When you joined Dan, I thought we were going to get such hard-hitting economic analysis.

00:31:46.500 No, that's coming.

00:31:47.360 No, that is coming as well.

00:31:48.240 What is this about?

00:31:50.580 I think this was this BBC Pigeon segment that he basically pulled out of his arse 10 minutes

00:31:54.880 before or he decided to come on out.

00:31:56.300 Dan is known to do segments like that on occasion.

00:31:59.100 That was a fun segment.

00:32:00.000 Sometimes I've no fucking clue what Dan is going on about.

00:32:03.660 Sometimes I just...

00:32:04.580 Well, that's why we love him.

00:32:06.520 Thank you.

00:32:08.440 Let's go for the next one, I guess.

00:32:09.860 Callum, turn this water into semen quickly.

00:32:17.200 So here's Racky, here's...

00:32:19.040 Callum's cum.

00:32:23.860 I forgot about that.

00:32:31.140 Go on, let's watch Russian's one. 1.00

00:32:32.300 All right.

00:32:33.040 Oh, Lord.

00:32:33.920 Thank you.

00:32:38.920 Where's this guy?

00:32:41.540 The Floyd's Prayer.

00:32:43.320 Our Floyd, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

00:32:46.560 Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

00:32:50.580 Give us this day our daily fentanyl, and forgive us our knee presses,

00:32:54.240 as we forgive those who press knees against us.

00:32:56.960 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil police.

00:33:00.160 For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever.

00:33:03.580 Amen.

00:33:06.660 Beautiful.

00:33:07.980 Brings a tear to my eye.

00:33:10.940 It still does.

00:33:12.240 I can't believe I didn't know about this.

00:33:14.640 I can't believe I forgot this.

00:33:17.220 There's such a wealth of amazing shitposts on all of the video comments that have been sent.

00:33:22.020 So many of them that have been lost and forgotten.

00:33:24.240 We got them to time.

00:33:26.820 Let's go for the next one.

00:33:27.940 And basically, you've got to remember all of this stuff.

00:33:30.560 It's basically about how people come.

00:33:33.120 And, you know, if you want to come in an unusual way, in your own house, fine.

00:33:42.480 You know, do whatever you want.

00:33:44.360 I don't particularly care.

00:33:45.500 With whoever.

00:33:46.080 I mean, as long as...

00:33:46.800 You know those glasses, the movie where you put them on and you see the real message?

00:33:49.340 Yeah.

00:33:49.600 It's just the word come.

00:33:50.420 Yes, yes.

00:33:51.460 That's what pride is all about.

00:33:52.900 Just everywhere.

00:33:53.400 You can come in an unorthodox way.

00:33:58.020 And as long as you're doing it in your own home with somebody who's of legal age, I don't care. 0.51

00:34:02.180 I mean, that would be...

00:34:02.620 Come however you want.

00:34:03.640 But why do I need to have come advertising on absolutely everything?

00:34:09.480 To be honest, I think that might be the best protest of all time.

00:34:12.240 You can start graffitiing on them.

00:34:13.540 Just the words come.

00:34:14.760 Well, that's what it is, isn't it?

00:34:16.360 He's basically correct.

00:34:20.040 That's basically all pride is.

00:34:27.360 Hard-hitting political commentary here at the podcast.

00:34:31.680 It's maybe not what you want to hear, Connor, but it's what you need to hear.

00:34:35.800 It's not inaccurate.

00:34:37.420 The Bible says pride comes before a fall.

00:34:39.780 Dan just says pride comes.

00:34:42.080 Did you get that from chat?

00:34:44.420 No, I came up with that just now.

00:34:46.760 That's the power of cured meat and alcohol.

00:34:49.820 And the chat's like, yeah, well, Dan is right.

00:34:51.740 I mean, you know.

00:34:52.620 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:53.500 All right, let's get to the next one.

00:34:55.240 I do really like some of the nawabum, which is the way that you say... 0.99

00:34:58.620 What did you just call me?

00:34:59.080 The nawabum.

00:35:00.400 It's the new wave of British heavy metal.

00:35:02.700 It's nawabum.

00:35:04.060 Pride ball, Ricky.

00:35:05.380 This is an old trick I picked up in the Sudan. 1.00

00:35:07.860 We tell HQ that I've gone insane.

00:35:10.780 And I will be invalided back to Blighty before you can say...

00:35:13.780 Nawabum. 0.59

00:35:14.260 What is your name?

00:35:18.220 Nawabum. 0.59

00:35:18.760 Where do you live?

00:35:19.960 London?

00:35:20.800 A small village on Mars just outside the capital city.

00:35:24.560 Nawabum. 0.59

00:35:26.080 It seems so perfect.

00:35:28.060 That was very good.

00:35:30.140 That was a great edit.

00:35:33.240 I don't want to do it either.

00:35:35.140 He's covering his mouth.

00:35:36.520 See, it's completely harmless.

00:35:41.060 There's no harm done here.

00:35:43.280 Living is easy and with eyes closed.

00:35:50.660 Misunderstanding, do you see?

00:35:55.400 This is my whole little bit of a smell of the package of a great deal.

00:35:59.580 I'm so glad I only smoked the Bible. 0.99

00:36:02.660 I'm so glad I don't smoke.

00:36:04.160 Do you know what's worse?

00:36:05.000 Because you're gay. 0.99

00:36:05.620 That's in Leicester.

00:36:06.860 You want something to happen.

00:36:08.680 You want something to.

00:36:10.040 Strawberry Fields is a great song.

00:36:11.280 All right, Freud.

00:36:14.320 So she also lives next to a Nazi theme park. 0.56

00:36:19.040 What?

00:36:19.380 There's a Nazi theme park?

00:36:20.940 She went...

00:36:21.900 An amusement park in Germany has some explaining to do over this new ride.

00:36:26.440 Oh, darling.

00:36:28.620 Oh, yes, human.

00:36:34.240 What?

00:36:34.920 That can't be real.

00:36:37.420 That can't be real.

00:36:38.460 That's amazing.

00:36:50.220 Well done, Germany. 0.99

00:36:52.420 Germany's finally getting its pride back.

00:36:54.720 It just can't help it.

00:36:56.100 AFD conference is wild.

00:36:57.560 I need another weird meat to eat.

00:37:02.020 Oh, no.

00:37:02.820 Please join me.

00:37:03.260 The Lotus Eaters out of context.

00:37:05.480 Right, I've got a good one.

00:37:07.120 They're human.

00:37:07.840 Why is he, like, hiding?

00:37:09.200 Because it's written on it what it is.

00:37:10.600 Oh, yeah, no.

00:37:11.140 I don't want you seeing.

00:37:12.040 Oh, right, right.

00:37:12.660 So I have to hide it.

00:37:13.740 Which means that you have something suspicious.

00:37:15.840 Definitely enjoy this.

00:37:16.600 Give us.

00:37:17.280 Will I?

00:37:17.860 What on earth?

00:37:19.600 Is this dead?

00:37:21.220 I think it's no question.

00:37:23.740 It looks like pieces of swamp thing.

00:37:25.620 This does smell like a dog treat, to be fair.

00:37:27.800 This is easily the worst smelling one so far.

00:37:31.840 I'm nervous.

00:37:32.420 Have you cooked up a relative of ours?

00:37:35.620 Down the hatch.

00:37:36.400 That looks like time.

00:37:37.360 I'm not going to be the first to eat it every time.

00:37:39.160 All right.

00:37:40.840 There's an experiment going on.

00:37:42.820 There's no doubt about that.

00:37:47.020 This looks moldy.

00:37:48.660 Yeah.

00:37:49.300 No, it's not moldy.

00:37:50.000 What is it?

00:37:52.800 Did you try it?

00:37:53.980 No, what is it?

00:37:54.760 How did you try it?

00:37:57.120 I've already eaten mine.

00:37:58.360 It's a bit spicy.

00:37:59.280 Yes.

00:37:59.800 It's edible.

00:38:02.000 It's not too bad.

00:38:03.920 Got it?

00:38:04.760 Not yet.

00:38:08.920 Tastes a bit swampy.

00:38:11.080 It's swampy.

00:38:12.020 It's the swamp thing.

00:38:13.340 You roasted it.

00:38:13.940 It's very spicy.

00:38:18.460 Spicy.

00:38:18.900 Spicy.

00:38:18.960 Stop giving them to me.

00:38:21.200 You're there.

00:38:22.320 And you will eat it.

00:38:23.160 Yeah.

00:38:25.740 Fine.

00:38:26.140 You don't have to eat them, Josh, but you do.

00:38:28.420 What is it?

00:38:29.380 I'm not telling you until you eat it.

00:38:31.300 Look, the other ones were like deer and rabbit.

00:38:33.740 How bad can this be?

00:38:35.500 Kangaroo.

00:38:35.860 It might be kangaroo.

00:38:40.600 It tastes better the more you eat it, to be fair.

00:38:42.960 Yeah, it's Shakira for some reason.

00:38:45.780 It's not even too bad.

00:38:46.860 It's just too spicy.

00:38:48.260 It's all right.

00:38:48.960 That's not bad.

00:38:49.860 It's all right.

00:38:50.460 Yeah.

00:38:50.700 It's edible.

00:38:51.380 I'll put it last.

00:38:51.880 It tastes the exact same as the other ones, but spicy.

00:38:55.800 Don't be a wuss con.

00:38:56.620 I get one.

00:38:56.860 I don't find it trustworthy.

00:38:58.300 It's spicy frog.

00:38:59.100 Do it.

00:38:59.440 Spicy rabbit.

00:39:00.600 Are you going to get any of those slathered in barbecue sauce or something nice?

00:39:06.360 Green depends what you think nice is.

00:39:08.180 Barbecue sauce.

00:39:09.040 It's not lathered in sugar, Harry won't eat it.

00:39:13.320 Exactly.

00:39:13.840 It was all gravy.

00:39:14.960 It was quite fatty.

00:39:15.860 Was that wild boar?

00:39:17.760 No, that was, in fact, a kangaroo.

00:39:19.400 It was kangaroo.

00:39:20.280 Oh, no.

00:39:20.960 But it had Thai sauce on it.

00:39:23.180 Oh, right.

00:39:23.460 That's why it was so spicy.

00:39:24.320 I don't like Thai sauce.

00:39:25.680 Neither do I, but...

00:39:26.680 I might actually not be able to eat that, because they normally put peanuts in theirs.

00:39:30.060 So it's probably good that I didn't.

00:39:31.440 Yeah, quite possibly.

00:39:32.260 I mean, I have no idea whether...

00:39:33.600 But what an event that would have been for episode of the thousand.

00:39:35.320 Yeah, dying on stream.

00:39:36.700 Yeah, that wouldn't have been fun.

00:39:37.400 So let's go to the next one.

00:39:39.860 It would have made a great...

00:39:40.520 Hi, guys.

00:39:40.740 It's Charlie Veitch here on Market Street.

00:39:42.220 This is my office.

00:39:43.060 It's a bit messy.

00:39:44.280 And I'm sorry that the cleaners haven't taken all the crackheads away.

00:39:47.380 But this is a personal shout-out for Russian garbage human. 1.00

00:39:50.820 I hear you're Russian and a garbage human. 1.00

00:39:52.900 So good on you.

00:39:57.900 Oh, is that Charles Veitch?

00:39:59.340 Yeah, I'm aware of that guy.

00:40:01.000 One of my friends who used to live in Manchester, she's obsessed with the guy.

00:40:04.460 She has appeared in a few of his videos, because she likes how he just trolls people.

00:40:08.360 Right, well, Russian's been going on us inviting him for ages, so we should invite him. 1.00

00:40:12.420 That's true, yeah.

00:40:13.980 Apparently he was in Swindon.

00:40:15.540 Yeah, this is the best...

00:40:16.620 I don't remember this one.

00:40:18.640 ...the best moment.

00:40:19.860 You look mean there, Harry.

00:40:21.100 Yeah, that's...

00:40:21.760 I've never fit one, and I've heard from people who have fitted them that they basically...

00:40:26.460 This is a great shot, thank you.

00:40:28.200 ...that they basically overcharge you massive amounts.

00:40:34.740 I'm confused, but please play.

00:40:37.440 Oh, let's...

00:40:38.880 Really?

00:40:40.160 Thanks, Russian.

00:40:42.000 ...migrants will be sent to private landlords, former care homes, and student accommodation...

00:40:46.000 Operation Scatter!

00:40:49.160 Can we not play that, please?

00:40:52.020 ...man, don't do that.

00:40:57.640 Oh, that's disgusting.

00:40:58.820 Yeah, don't do that.

00:41:00.260 Come on.

00:41:02.460 I think that was Stelios.

00:41:03.920 That was great.

00:41:05.120 Normally that is the sort of thing...

00:41:06.820 It was the only day we didn't check the video.

00:41:09.340 You haven't sent you anything.

00:41:10.480 The kind of...

00:41:11.420 ...planetary alignment that had to take place for this to be shown.

00:41:15.980 It could have just been literally like...

00:41:17.740 ...like one of Ruther Day's like, you know, scenic videos.

00:41:20.580 I've got some on here, so first we'll walk and go machine again.

00:41:23.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

00:41:24.660 Look at the machine and shit.

00:41:26.160 Oh, thank you.

00:41:26.480 Good handling.

00:41:27.080 Of the heiress.

00:41:27.940 I think you've...

00:41:28.420 I salute you.

00:41:29.060 Stelios is gone for the rest of the podcast now.

00:41:31.540 Please read my...

00:41:32.740 Yeah, good.

00:41:36.280 Thank you, Russian.

00:41:37.340 Yeah, thank you.

00:41:38.340 Send more.

00:41:39.180 Somehow not as bad as the anime video comments, though, so congratulations.

00:41:42.800 Let's go to the next one.

00:41:44.520 Anime or...

00:41:45.160 I miss the anime comments.

00:41:47.640 Which way, Western man?

00:41:48.740 With all these recent black pills,

00:41:50.580 I thought I would just send in a fun video

00:41:52.900 of me doing an impression of Galadriel from Rings of Power.

00:41:57.720 What?

00:42:02.800 Conflicted.

00:42:04.820 I am grateful that you have not known evil as I have.

00:42:09.400 That's a really good post.

00:42:10.440 But you have not seen what I have seen.

00:42:13.580 I feel like actual Vivian MPC.

00:42:19.660 That was a good impression.

00:42:21.400 We needed the MPC music.

00:42:23.360 No, I've been watching every episode of Rings of Power.

00:42:25.840 It's unbelievable shite.

00:42:27.180 I've seen some clips from it.

00:42:27.900 That's actually a really great impression.

00:42:30.140 Honestly, because it's free.

00:42:31.280 I already pay for Amazon, so...

00:42:32.440 Okay.

00:42:33.880 Well, you know, it's free.

00:42:34.940 I may as well understand the videos I watch about it, you know.

00:42:39.240 But no, that was unironically a good impression.

00:42:41.720 It's really...

00:42:42.660 And the weird thing about it is,

00:42:44.720 if you were to give just like a student theatre company,

00:42:48.740 like five brand or something,

00:42:50.520 they'd be able to come up with a better production.

00:42:53.080 I'm not even joking.

00:42:54.340 Like, the thing looks bad.

00:42:56.440 It just looks...

00:42:57.080 The acting is really amateur.

00:42:59.940 I mean, that billion dollars is going in someone's pockets.

00:43:02.640 Or up someone's nose.

00:43:04.380 I can't explain it.

00:43:06.000 And the thing is, as well,

00:43:06.680 I looked into the guys directing it.

00:43:08.360 They've done nothing.

00:43:09.960 Like, they've literally got three uncredited writing...

00:43:13.400 The I hire director.

00:43:14.680 They're not...

00:43:15.000 They're white guys.

00:43:17.380 They're woke.

00:43:18.480 No, no, no.

00:43:19.620 They're white guys from like the Midwest or something.

00:43:21.540 Yeah, they're definitely woke.

00:43:22.220 They can still be woke, yeah.

00:43:23.660 Yeah, of course they're woke.

00:43:24.520 But it's like,

00:43:25.200 I don't understand how you end up with like a billion dollars

00:43:28.020 and Tolkien's franchise

00:43:29.280 with no...

00:43:31.020 Like, almost no fucking experience.

00:43:33.020 Excellent gag reflex.

00:43:34.360 Nuts for Pudding was produced for free

00:43:36.340 and it's a better written show.

00:43:39.680 What was?

00:43:40.300 That's the one where it has breakfast.

00:43:43.140 They're not like...

00:43:44.460 It's impossible to explain.

00:43:46.120 Individual episode directors are women.

00:43:49.240 Sure.

00:43:50.020 The showrunners are two blokes with barely any credits.

00:43:52.320 The other ones are all like diversity eyes. 0.94

00:43:54.280 Yeah, yeah, I know.

00:43:55.040 I know.

00:43:55.280 But the point is,

00:43:56.120 like, they're the ones...

00:43:56.920 The thing is, they came up.

00:43:58.260 The way that they got it

00:43:59.120 is they wrote like a 50 episode plan

00:44:00.860 and for some reason,

00:44:03.120 they were like,

00:44:03.460 yeah, that looks good.

00:44:04.680 And so these guys are in control of it all

00:44:06.820 and it's all shite because of that

00:44:09.840 and it's like...

00:44:10.540 Oh, they did Star Trek Beyond

00:44:13.320 and Godzilla v. Kong and Jungle Cruise.

00:44:15.800 Not the whole thing.

00:44:16.680 They didn't do the whole thing.

00:44:17.640 They were like small hearts.

00:44:19.100 Uncredited, yeah.

00:44:19.580 So they've just been...

00:44:20.160 They are just like...

00:44:21.100 They're nobodies.

00:44:21.840 ...back room fillers for...

00:44:23.780 They're absolute nobodies.

00:44:26.140 They're jobbers.

00:44:26.980 I don't know how they got this.

00:44:29.100 They're what, sorry?

00:44:29.860 There's something majestic about Godzilla.

00:44:31.160 Okay.

00:44:32.700 Something majestic about Godzilla.

00:44:34.620 Yeah.

00:44:35.140 His ability to break skyscrapers.

00:44:36.940 Destroy them, yeah,

00:44:37.760 because they're ugly.

00:44:38.780 Yeah.

00:44:39.740 That's what Stelios' ideal government would do.

00:44:42.320 Unmash Godzilla's on all the towns.

00:44:47.780 I've not seen the Godzilla haters.

00:44:49.300 Go on, pull it up, Samson.

00:44:50.440 Find it.

00:44:50.800 Yeah, yeah, pull it up, Samson.

00:44:53.700 Let's watch Sophie while you're pulling that up. 1.00

00:44:58.300 Nope.

00:45:00.500 That's Sophie.

00:45:02.260 Yeah.

00:45:02.860 Well done, Stelios.

00:45:03.500 That's not Godzilla, that's Sophie.

00:45:05.160 Congratulations with a thousand episodes.

00:45:07.980 What does it feel like to be some of the people in the world

00:45:10.500 who are actually making a real difference

00:45:13.040 and changing the over-term venture?

00:45:15.220 I really do believe that you are making a real difference,

00:45:18.240 changing minds, reaching the right people, so...

00:45:20.780 Keep going, and here's to another thousand episodes.

00:45:24.440 Well, thank you.

00:45:25.160 Thank you very much.

00:45:25.860 We appreciate it.

00:45:27.460 Sophie's one of the mainstays of the podcast.

00:45:29.080 She's been around for ages.

00:45:29.840 This is horrible!

00:45:30.600 Oh, wait, no.

00:45:31.160 Bring it up on the side.

00:45:32.300 And then...

00:45:33.700 Yeah, Sophie's been around forever, so thank you.

00:45:36.040 See, Stewie, there are tons of actors like this.

00:45:41.760 They all started out just like you,

00:45:43.480 but eventually they were destroyed by their parents' greed,

00:45:46.380 drugs, or perverted Hollywood directors.

00:45:48.420 Oh, like Bryan Singer.

00:45:49.840 Exactly.

00:45:50.420 The point is, it's a dark path.

00:45:52.700 My God, I had no idea it could be so bad.

00:45:55.420 Bryan, I don't want to act anymore.

00:45:57.140 Good.

00:45:57.900 Now we just got to make Peter and Lois understand.

00:46:00.060 Yes, well, if they want to make me into a monster like those people,

00:46:02.740 we'll give them a monster, like when Godzilla attacked Haiti. 0.85

00:46:11.040 Oh, my God.

00:46:20.240 I mean, yeah.

00:46:21.320 It's all pretty good.

00:46:22.940 Crescent.

00:46:25.440 I just don't understand why, like...

00:46:28.100 It has to be every...

00:46:29.420 Just the shittest places on Earth.

00:46:31.740 Our government's like,

00:46:32.360 wait a minute, guys.

00:46:33.520 We need...

00:46:33.880 Right, where are the failed states?

00:46:35.520 Somalia, Haiti.

00:46:36.980 Right, we're going to get as many of those in.

00:46:38.380 Because they think the soil's magic.

00:46:40.280 Yeah, but if they thought the soil was magic,

00:46:42.400 why are they giving us their money?

00:46:44.160 Giving them our money?

00:46:45.140 Because they genuinely think that, like,

00:46:47.820 for some reason the landmass itself

00:46:49.640 is making people poor and stupid.

00:46:51.360 So just by virtue of bringing them over

00:46:53.000 and giving them cash

00:46:54.000 and drowning them in British values

00:46:55.820 as soon as they walk through the portal of

00:46:57.500 Heathrow or Gatwick departure gates,

00:46:59.280 they're going to be fine.

00:47:00.340 Why can't we get, like, good people?

00:47:02.360 Make cannibalism and piracy great again

00:47:04.760 is what I say.

00:47:05.920 Well, the Haiti's have been trying. 1.00

00:47:07.380 They're doing it.

00:47:07.880 Yeah.

00:47:08.160 Yeah, I know, yeah.

00:47:10.100 Get to the next one.

00:47:10.920 I feel the common theme this week,

00:47:13.520 whether it be Haitians in Ohio

00:47:14.820 or Venezuelans in Colorado,

00:47:16.480 the media's opinion was simply

00:47:17.980 if the local authorities say it didn't happen,

00:47:20.500 it simply did not happen.

00:47:22.120 It seems we're finally approaching

00:47:23.340 that magical endgame of tyranny

00:47:24.960 where there's simply no truth but power.

00:47:27.840 Dark days ahead, to be sure.

00:47:30.180 But inversely, congratulations on a thousand podcasts, boys.

00:47:33.320 Here's to many thousands more.

00:47:35.160 Unless Uber-Stomfuhrer have his way, of course.

00:47:38.400 Keep up the good work, boys.

00:47:40.200 The thing is, right,

00:47:41.200 that, I think, gives the media

00:47:44.460 more credit than they deserve, right?

00:47:46.420 Because it makes them sound

00:47:47.360 like they're engaged in some sort of

00:47:48.960 Machiavellian mind control scheme.

00:47:50.980 When, in fact, I think they're just

00:47:52.040 really shit and lazy, right?

00:47:54.100 So they're literally just like,

00:47:55.240 oh, God, we've got to go and do something.

00:47:57.180 Oh, no, the governor said this.

00:47:59.060 Write that up.

00:47:59.820 Just write that up quick.

00:48:01.040 The governor said that's not happening.

00:48:02.380 That means, boom, I can clock off and go home

00:48:04.800 and I don't have to do any work at all.

00:48:06.440 A bit of both.

00:48:07.240 I mean, the production staff

00:48:08.700 do definitely set the agenda

00:48:10.000 because they will just, you know,

00:48:11.260 take people off certain guest books

00:48:12.820 or make sure certain stories never make air.

00:48:14.580 But the talking heads

00:48:15.880 usually rely on the teleprompter.

00:48:17.580 And so, like Ron Burgundy,

00:48:18.660 they will just say whatever they're told.

00:48:20.100 But you are right,

00:48:21.040 because who is it that broke

00:48:21.940 the Cat Haiti story

00:48:23.740 with all of the Somalians right now?

00:48:25.680 Someone on Twitter, I guess.

00:48:26.740 Yeah, it was Captive Dreamer,

00:48:28.580 an Anon poster on Twitter.

00:48:31.080 I like how you said Somalians 1.00

00:48:32.320 because you just defaulted to the...

00:48:33.680 Oh, yeah, I did say Somalians.

00:48:35.480 Sorry.

00:48:36.540 Pomalians.

00:48:37.100 Yes.

00:48:37.600 A fictional nation.

00:48:38.640 Yeah, he just looked into the local situation

00:48:41.220 because he'd seen it reported

00:48:42.320 somewhere that,

00:48:43.820 oh, they sent all of these Haitians over. 1.00

00:48:46.220 So he...

00:48:46.440 And they're not eating cats over there, are they?

00:48:47.980 Yeah, so he just...

00:48:49.020 So he just goes,

00:48:50.020 okay, what's going on

00:48:50.980 at the local town hall meetings?

00:48:53.020 Oh, they're eating cats.

00:48:55.200 Jesus.

00:48:56.960 No, they're eating geese.

00:48:58.400 It was geese.

00:48:58.960 Oh, yeah, geese.

00:48:59.760 They eat cats in Haiti.

00:49:01.300 They arrive in Ohio

00:49:02.280 and they're like,

00:49:02.780 oh, no more cats for me.

00:49:04.860 I'm upgrading to geese.

00:49:05.900 We're dining good tonight, boys.

00:49:08.080 Haitians are just traditionalists. 1.00

00:49:09.320 They read Dickens

00:49:10.180 and they thought,

00:49:11.120 oh, they all have geese

00:49:12.140 at Christmas time.

00:49:13.480 I was told they'd be bringing the food,

00:49:15.380 not taking ours.

00:49:16.800 You know, I'm okay

00:49:17.920 to not have our cuisine

00:49:19.340 diversified with Haitian food.

00:49:21.200 I'm actually totally okay with that.

00:49:24.220 I just...

00:49:24.800 I mean,

00:49:25.120 at least they can't make this argument, right?

00:49:27.380 But that's the...

00:49:27.820 Oh, what about the restaurants?

00:49:28.560 Yeah, what about the restaurants?

00:49:30.080 You know?

00:49:30.540 Well, I have seen people say,

00:49:33.560 though,

00:49:33.700 I don't know about you,

00:49:34.540 but Haitian barbecue sounds amazing

00:49:36.380 and then people have been responding

00:49:37.940 with the dirt cookies videos.

00:49:41.460 I mean,

00:49:42.020 do they bake those?

00:49:43.140 Yes.

00:49:43.580 They spend all day.

00:49:45.160 They put fat and salt in them

00:49:46.680 and dirt

00:49:47.260 and then they sell them.

00:49:49.160 Presumably on credit.

00:49:50.200 Okay, they sound healthy.

00:49:50.860 Why don't they just give me

00:49:51.380 the fat and the salt

00:49:52.580 in an actual food?

00:49:53.940 Maybe they have given you

00:49:55.080 and it is where you...

00:49:56.340 in the food you give us to eat.

00:49:58.400 Are you giving us...

00:49:59.500 I would like to try a dirt cookie, actually.

00:50:02.520 These are real food.

00:50:03.480 Have you seen them bite into them

00:50:04.740 in the video?

00:50:05.280 It looks disgusting.

00:50:06.140 It looks like they're biting

00:50:06.940 into clay pots, doesn't it?

00:50:08.500 Yeah.

00:50:09.240 Why do you want to eat it?

00:50:10.720 Why do you want to eat it, Josh?

00:50:13.980 When in Rome, you know...

00:50:15.080 Even the impoverished Haitian children

00:50:17.480 are going,

00:50:17.960 yum.

00:50:19.080 Why not just eat the fat and the salt?

00:50:22.120 That's not the end of the world.

00:50:23.040 Why not just eat the neighbor?

00:50:23.620 You need some texture, don't you?

00:50:26.860 Some dirt texture.

00:50:29.780 Just can't get over with it.

00:50:30.720 Isn't it full of parasites? 0.60

00:50:32.740 What, that?

00:50:33.400 And the dirt?

00:50:34.320 Probably.

00:50:35.380 Well, that's why they...

00:50:36.040 They bake it.

00:50:36.520 Yeah, that's why they need...

00:50:37.300 Oh, yeah, that helps.

00:50:38.460 Connor, that's why they need

00:50:39.460 the high-quality dirt on credit.

00:50:42.600 I said earlier,

00:50:43.740 it's Dino dirt.

00:50:46.300 Yeah, yeah, obviously,

00:50:47.180 I don't want to eat the dirty dirt.

00:50:49.080 I'm going to eat the clean dirt

00:50:51.740 that I've purchased with credit.

00:50:53.380 Beautiful clean dirt.

00:50:54.600 God, who thought this would be the future, eh?

00:50:57.660 Let's get to the next one.

00:50:59.320 So, about a decade ago,

00:51:01.180 I found myself a stay-at-home mom,

00:51:04.120 and I was feeling very resentful

00:51:06.820 and bitter towards my husband

00:51:09.600 because in my mind,

00:51:11.700 he got to go do whatever it was he wanted,

00:51:15.000 aka starting his own business from scratch.

00:51:18.040 But, according to the website,

00:51:21.160 some people I was reading,

00:51:22.260 like Jezebel and Naomi Wolf

00:51:25.060 and all these horrible people, 0.53

00:51:27.840 like, I had the college degree,

00:51:29.380 so I should have been the one,

00:51:31.620 you know, getting a chance

00:51:32.920 to go out and do something.

00:51:34.660 But, anyway,

00:51:36.920 browsing YouTube one day,

00:51:39.300 and this little channel pops up,

00:51:42.380 Sargon of Akkad.

00:51:43.220 Being an ancient history fan,

00:51:45.300 I click on it.

00:51:46.560 And it wasn't about Mesopotamia.

00:51:49.420 It was this guy talking,

00:51:52.200 British guy talking,

00:51:53.240 and I listened to it.

00:51:54.960 And I think I probably hate listened

00:51:57.240 because I'm sure I didn't agree

00:51:59.680 with whatever it was you were saying

00:52:01.100 at the time.

00:52:02.320 But, it made me start thinking.

00:52:06.180 And I started watching some more videos

00:52:09.040 and listening and thinking some more.

00:52:12.420 And, long story short,

00:52:15.120 here we are a decade later.

00:52:17.040 I fully supported my husband.

00:52:19.660 Everything that he was doing

00:52:20.960 raised my kids.

00:52:23.220 And now I'm a stay-at-home trad wife

00:52:26.320 that you could not drag out from my home.

00:52:28.820 Like, at all.

00:52:31.600 So, I just wanted to say thank you

00:52:33.800 that everything y'all are doing

00:52:36.080 is super important.

00:52:37.440 And people are listening.

00:52:38.620 And it is making a difference.

00:52:40.460 Even if it's just one family somewhere.

00:52:42.640 But it does make a difference.

00:52:44.180 So, thank you.

00:52:45.740 That was awesome.

00:52:46.300 That was lovely.

00:52:47.000 Wholesome, yeah.

00:52:47.600 Thank you very much.

00:52:48.720 And it looks like a lovely home as well.

00:52:50.440 Yeah.

00:52:51.340 Congratulations.

00:52:51.960 I bet your children are upset.

00:52:53.180 We're very glad you're happy

00:52:54.280 with your family.

00:52:54.820 She frequently sends us

00:52:55.700 very wholesome videos.

00:52:56.920 Yes, she does.

00:52:57.520 These all taste the same, Carl.

00:53:00.680 I didn't make them.

00:53:02.900 I didn't mind cooking.

00:53:04.500 It was the Haitian

00:53:05.100 and it's back on.

00:53:07.920 The bit I've got

00:53:08.960 was a bit tough.

00:53:10.000 Yeah.

00:53:10.540 What is it?

00:53:10.960 It's tasty, though.

00:53:12.100 Clingon.

00:53:12.540 Have you eaten it?

00:53:13.360 Not yet.

00:53:13.880 I want to see

00:53:14.380 if they're going to survive.

00:53:15.720 They're going to survive.

00:53:18.740 Give them...

00:53:19.340 No, Josh.

00:53:19.680 You need to go out

00:53:20.900 like an oblivion NPC.

00:53:21.920 But it's technically edible.

00:53:25.100 It's not Haitian barbecue,

00:53:26.620 for Christ's sake.

00:53:27.520 I'm sorry.

00:53:34.860 Stop right there,

00:53:35.600 criminal scum. 0.60

00:53:37.020 These are quite tasty, actually.

00:53:38.280 Yeah, they're not bad.

00:53:41.020 There has to be...

00:53:42.980 They kind of taste

00:53:44.080 a little bit like

00:53:44.660 dried mushrooms

00:53:45.420 for some reason.

00:53:47.560 No, it has to be...

00:53:48.440 Josh is very familiar

00:53:49.520 with this taste.

00:53:50.660 Mm-hmm.

00:53:52.380 They're nice, though.

00:53:53.120 I quite like these.

00:53:53.740 This reminds me of something.

00:53:57.960 Yeah?

00:53:58.560 Yeah.

00:54:00.020 This is good.

00:54:01.180 Does it go wink?

00:54:02.660 Is it an ancestral memory

00:54:04.000 of fleeing Persia?

00:54:05.960 Is it Turk? 1.00

00:54:07.160 No.

00:54:08.240 No?

00:54:09.160 Oh, he's a xenophon 1.00

00:54:09.840 marching back.

00:54:11.960 He ate lots of...

00:54:13.660 Is this horse?

00:54:14.120 Is it a horse?

00:54:14.760 Yeah, it is horse, yeah.

00:54:15.820 What kind of horse?

00:54:16.800 I don't know.

00:54:17.720 Is it a Trojan horse?

00:54:19.220 It's not Trojan horse, no.

00:54:20.880 They were selling horses.

00:54:22.640 I feel a little bit bad

00:54:23.580 about eating horse,

00:54:24.340 if I'm being completely honest.

00:54:25.820 It's called Black Beauty.

00:54:27.340 Oops.

00:54:27.900 Sure.

00:54:28.820 100% horse, though.

00:54:30.140 That's all right.

00:54:30.640 You want to try some, John?

00:54:31.320 100%?

00:54:31.600 I'm all right, thanks.

00:54:32.800 It's perfectly good.

00:54:33.520 It's an Iceland lasagna.

00:54:34.460 You know what?

00:54:35.260 I mean, we need to elevate...

00:54:36.440 This one's better than the other.

00:54:37.060 We need to raise the stakes.

00:54:38.360 I'm kind of annoyed

00:54:39.040 that horse was quite nice.

00:54:40.260 When are you going to feed us bat, Carl?

00:54:42.380 Did you what?

00:54:43.220 Bat.

00:54:44.420 When are you going to get

00:54:44.920 the really crazy stuff out?

00:54:47.420 I want some pangolin.

00:54:50.220 Chinese takeaway still, though.

00:54:51.340 This is koala.

00:54:52.260 Here you go.

00:54:52.920 Well, you can get cat

00:54:53.680 from the Chinese takeaway as well.

00:54:54.900 You know, the koala gives you...

00:54:56.620 Chlamydia.

00:54:57.260 Yeah.

00:54:57.820 Yeah, that's something we all heard about

00:55:00.340 on the school grounds.

00:55:02.420 I...

00:55:02.900 No, no, Ham. 0.80

00:55:04.000 Samson, you do me a favor

00:55:05.440 and Google koala brain.

00:55:09.400 What?

00:55:10.040 Is it very smooth?

00:55:11.000 It's very smooth, yeah.

00:55:11.860 Oh, it's got no wrinkles.

00:55:12.580 Really?

00:55:13.540 It's a marsupial.

00:55:15.260 Marsupials are like 1.00

00:55:16.020 retarded mammals, aren't they? 1.00

00:55:17.820 You've got to see it to believe.

00:55:19.100 What?

00:55:20.840 Bring that up on your screen.

00:55:22.060 Little chicken.

00:55:22.940 So what you're seeing here

00:55:24.020 is what's in James O'Brien's head.

00:55:27.820 But the thing is,

00:55:28.760 koalas are actually retarded. 0.99

00:55:30.440 Well, we can eat their brain 0.61

00:55:31.740 and gain their knowledge.

00:55:32.800 They eat poison...

00:55:33.720 They eat nothing but poisonous leaves.

00:55:35.440 Yeah.

00:55:35.680 They all have chlamydia.

00:55:36.740 But they're also totally dependent

00:55:38.580 on poisonous leaves.

00:55:40.120 Like, the surrounding forest

00:55:41.560 is full of other things they could eat.

00:55:43.160 But no, the koalas are so stupid 0.93

00:55:44.340 they only eat poisonous leaves

00:55:45.740 and they die without them.

00:55:47.220 Is this why they look like

00:55:48.300 they have Down syndrome?

00:55:49.600 Yeah.

00:55:50.360 Because they do.

00:55:50.820 Don't insult people

00:55:51.600 with Down syndrome like that.

00:55:52.720 Koalas are cute

00:55:54.160 but they look like

00:55:55.000 they've got Down syndrome.

00:55:55.940 Yeah, but koalas are actually retarded 1.00

00:55:57.620 as animals go.

00:55:59.600 Because they've got

00:55:59.980 almost perfectly smooth brains.

00:56:01.980 I knew Samsung

00:56:02.800 was going to type in drop bears.

00:56:04.720 I remember those myths.

00:56:06.080 Here they are.

00:56:06.980 They're not myths.

00:56:09.200 Drop bears are real.

00:56:10.120 Listen, it can't be real

00:56:11.200 because Australia's not real.

00:56:13.600 I mean, if...

00:56:14.240 I feel like

00:56:15.440 if there's going to be something like this...

00:56:16.680 It's like you've fallen

00:56:17.140 for the Australia scam, Connor.

00:56:20.040 Yeah, like,

00:56:20.780 they have all of those

00:56:21.560 deadly animals

00:56:22.200 and all of these

00:56:23.440 natural resources.

00:56:24.740 It's a real place.

00:56:26.160 You think a bunch of Brits 0.64

00:56:27.400 and Irishmen

00:56:28.100 got beat by emus?

00:56:30.600 What, you an idiot?

00:56:31.480 And they got along

00:56:32.240 and formed a country.

00:56:33.560 There's no way.

00:56:34.360 I know, right?

00:56:35.340 I hate the Irish. 1.00

00:56:37.400 Feeling's mutual.

00:56:39.440 I feel that this is going somewhere.

00:56:42.660 Are you pulling in

00:56:43.720 Astiagis or something?

00:56:45.380 From the medians? 0.96

00:56:46.920 You're going to

00:56:47.600 make us eat a person,

00:56:49.680 I think.

00:56:50.040 Yeah, there's going to be

00:56:50.580 some soylent green in there.

00:56:51.880 To the best of my knowledge,

00:56:52.800 all these go somewhere.

00:56:54.120 Oh, no!

00:56:54.700 To the best of my knowledge,

00:56:55.560 none of this jerky

00:56:56.260 comes from Haiti.

00:56:57.700 Because they just rode it.

00:56:58.660 To the best of his knowledge.

00:56:59.600 They just rode it.

00:57:00.580 Yeah, I can't prove it.

00:57:01.560 It comes from the Kenyan

00:57:02.080 which is down the road.

00:57:03.020 Yeah, there's a conspiracy.

00:57:04.500 It tasted like human.

00:57:06.120 Today is the day I ate horse.

00:57:07.900 Because last time I ate a human,

00:57:09.280 it tasted like that.

00:57:12.360 Greek cuisine's gone a bit

00:57:13.580 off the rails.

00:57:14.940 Yeah.

00:57:16.160 Is there any audio

00:57:24.380 for this one, Samson?

00:57:27.220 Oh, okay.

00:57:28.000 They need to update

00:57:28.680 their NVIDIA driver.

00:57:30.600 Sports Direct, though.

00:57:35.060 I respect that.

00:57:36.020 That's a man's mug.

00:57:37.500 I don't respect Sports Direct

00:57:38.440 because it's always like

00:57:39.260 closing down sale

00:57:40.280 and then 10 years later.

00:57:41.600 I think I'm being lied to.

00:57:44.400 I don't think...

00:57:44.720 They've got the Indian 1.00

00:57:45.500 business model, haven't they?

00:57:46.440 Yeah, they really do.

00:57:47.120 There's a place in central Swindon

00:57:48.400 that had closing down sale

00:57:50.440 for like two years.

00:57:51.660 It was longer.

00:57:53.220 It was just you weren't here.

00:57:54.480 It literally,

00:57:55.040 it's been there for like 20 years.

00:57:56.200 Listen, all right.

00:57:56.880 You've got it wrong.

00:57:58.420 They're hanging on by a thread.

00:58:00.420 Yeah, I bet they are.

00:58:01.920 It's like bands

00:58:02.700 where every concert

00:58:03.640 is the last one.

00:58:04.420 Oh, yeah.

00:58:04.700 Rolling Stones.

00:58:05.600 This is our final

00:58:06.300 farewell tour this year.

00:58:09.160 This week.

00:58:12.680 That's a good point.

00:58:13.920 Oh, I thought we did have one.

00:58:15.480 I use one all the time.

00:58:16.960 Yeah, we used to have one.

00:58:18.100 Is Carl drinking

00:58:18.700 from one right now?

00:58:19.600 Drinking from the England

00:58:20.560 expects mug.

00:58:21.460 Oh, okay.

00:58:22.900 Okay, well, we will

00:58:24.180 see what we can do.

00:58:27.560 A single Turkish man 0.92

00:58:28.660 having fun with a donkey,

00:58:30.660 but of course,

00:58:31.580 Turks in the comments 1.00

00:58:32.240 have pointed out

00:58:32.960 that it is a Turkish man

00:58:34.020 intervening and telling him off.

00:58:36.000 What did he try to do

00:58:37.080 to the donkey?

00:58:38.660 Well, his belt's undone,

00:58:39.860 so make your own mind up.

00:58:41.640 The guy's lucky, really,

00:58:42.940 that whoever uploaded the clip

00:58:44.620 saw fit to conceal his identity.

00:58:47.820 Didn't hide his...

00:58:48.940 before it was 36.

00:58:49.860 Ah, yeah.

00:58:52.020 Yeah!

00:58:53.740 Oh, yeah!

00:58:54.820 Wait a second!

00:58:55.900 Oh, wait, never mind.

00:58:59.700 Get on it, Stelios!

00:59:01.820 You can find him.

00:59:03.100 Oh, here we go.

00:59:04.800 I actually just wanted

00:59:05.960 to throw a compliment at you

00:59:07.340 in this particular video.

00:59:10.000 This, by far,

00:59:11.380 is one of the best features

00:59:12.720 on the site.

00:59:14.220 I can just download

00:59:15.140 the video file

00:59:15.980 and copy it to my phone,

00:59:17.560 where I can then listen to it

00:59:18.640 in either my car

00:59:19.620 or the cabin in the truck,

00:59:21.440 not needing to worry

00:59:22.240 about hitting any dead spots.

00:59:23.980 Thanks for the great feature.

00:59:26.360 That's okay.

00:59:27.080 We hope that Rory's

00:59:28.440 horse mask antics

00:59:29.660 keep you company

00:59:31.020 on the long icy roads

00:59:32.560 that you drive around.

00:59:33.580 Also, I spent

00:59:34.180 far too much

00:59:34.820 on my costume.

00:59:35.960 That was still

00:59:37.740 one of the best things

00:59:39.000 we've ever done,

00:59:39.680 because it was

00:59:40.000 a complete fucking shit show, 0.64

00:59:41.480 but Rory just had me 0.74

00:59:42.340 in tears.

00:59:42.980 I think he just

00:59:45.280 raided his house.

00:59:46.340 He had all of the things

00:59:47.440 in his house already.

00:59:50.200 Still can't believe

00:59:51.060 he gives a shit

00:59:51.700 about the Force one.

00:59:53.120 Who cares about the Force one?

00:59:54.500 I basically paid to win

00:59:55.620 in the costume.

00:59:56.280 I just bought everything.

00:59:57.460 Rory already had the stuff.

00:59:59.780 I don't know why

01:00:00.980 he had a horse mask

01:00:01.880 just lying around.

01:00:02.820 He cut the end off of it

01:00:03.840 as well,

01:00:04.080 but he couldn't actually see,

01:00:04.920 so he kept doing this.

01:00:05.720 My favourite part

01:00:08.720 of that whole thing

01:00:09.460 is when he's trying

01:00:10.140 to drink tea.

01:00:15.460 That's when he breaks care

01:00:16.320 and goes,

01:00:16.540 oh, it's so hot in here.

01:00:19.280 It's like a latex mask.

01:00:21.700 Rory is a character

01:00:22.620 from the Mighty Boosh

01:00:23.680 brought to life,

01:00:25.320 isn't he?

01:00:26.160 I don't believe

01:00:26.640 he's real, really.

01:00:28.800 He's doing a good job

01:00:29.460 on Islander, though.

01:00:30.320 Oh, yeah,

01:00:30.640 he's doing great.

01:00:31.980 He's just not real.

01:00:34.060 Islander's not real. 0.98

01:00:34.880 Man is a singular creature.

01:00:38.200 He is not a figure

01:00:39.940 in the landscape.

01:00:41.460 He is the shaper

01:00:43.200 of the landscape.

01:00:45.440 And yet,

01:00:46.800 50 years from now,

01:00:50.940 if an understanding

01:00:52.020 of man's origins,

01:00:55.940 his evolution,

01:00:57.340 his history,

01:00:58.660 his progress,

01:00:59.680 is not the commonplace

01:01:01.380 of the school books,

01:01:02.580 we shall not exist.

01:01:03.500 As well as celebrating

01:01:05.400 round numbers

01:01:06.220 for the podcast,

01:01:07.260 it'll soon be time

01:01:08.140 to start celebrating

01:01:09.140 major anniversaries.

01:01:11.060 Episode 1 with Carl

01:01:12.120 and Hugo

01:01:12.580 was broadcast

01:01:13.220 on November 10th, 2020,

01:01:15.400 so next year

01:01:16.140 should be a fine

01:01:17.040 five-year celebration.

01:01:18.880 However,

01:01:19.600 episode 0,

01:01:20.640 featuring Carl

01:01:21.420 and Callum,

01:01:22.020 was on the 9th.

01:01:22.940 What day

01:01:23.740 do the panel

01:01:24.240 think is day

01:01:24.960 one of Lotus Eaters?

01:01:26.660 It's clear

01:01:27.260 that 2025

01:01:27.940 should be a banner

01:01:29.220 year for the business

01:01:30.280 and site.

01:01:33.400 20th of November

01:01:34.520 2020

01:01:35.160 is the day

01:01:35.940 that Lotus Eaters 0.99

01:01:36.600 began.

01:01:38.260 Because that's

01:01:39.020 when I joined.

01:01:39.420 It's all been

01:01:39.740 downhill since.

01:01:41.040 Oi! 0.98

01:01:41.200 It peaked

01:01:42.940 in those

01:01:43.360 few days.

01:01:44.120 It was the 9th,

01:01:44.760 wasn't it?

01:01:45.200 With that little

01:01:45.660 clip of the guy

01:01:46.300 saying,

01:01:46.740 you know,

01:01:46.880 if we lose that

01:01:47.580 we cease to exist,

01:01:48.500 I couldn't help

01:01:49.240 but think of

01:01:49.620 Kyle Kalinsky

01:01:50.300 flying over

01:01:51.580 the landscape

01:01:52.360 and taking a photo

01:01:53.100 of farms

01:01:53.600 and being like,

01:01:54.000 I don't know

01:01:54.260 what this is.

01:01:55.100 I'm like,

01:01:55.480 Jesus Christ,

01:01:56.320 man.

01:01:56.760 How can you not

01:01:57.200 know what a farm

01:01:57.820 looks like?

01:01:59.940 Connor,

01:02:00.420 do you get

01:02:00.700 your ties

01:02:01.120 from that guy?

01:02:06.040 I quite like

01:02:06.680 the tie,

01:02:07.020 to be fair.

01:02:07.340 I only discovered

01:02:08.840 the Lotus Eaters

01:02:09.500 around Podcast

01:02:10.260 830,

01:02:11.140 but I'm really

01:02:11.680 glad that I did

01:02:12.280 because you all

01:02:12.980 have had a very

01:02:13.540 positive impact

01:02:14.260 on my life.

01:02:15.040 Listening to the

01:02:15.640 podcast and the

01:02:16.340 premium content

01:02:16.900 on the website

01:02:17.440 as well as

01:02:18.140 reading the

01:02:18.520 Islander have 1.00

01:02:19.080 all helped me

01:02:19.580 become much

01:02:20.320 more politically

01:02:20.800 informed and

01:02:21.960 confident in my

01:02:22.860 beliefs,

01:02:23.260 so thank you.

01:02:24.220 Also,

01:02:24.620 shout out to

01:02:25.040 Harry,

01:02:25.480 who's a fellow

01:02:26.080 metalhead.

01:02:26.740 I saw Inflames

01:02:27.520 live last year

01:02:28.200 and they were

01:02:28.620 incredible.

01:02:29.500 They performed

01:02:30.140 alongside my

01:02:30.980 favorite band

01:02:31.380 Meshuggah, 1.00

01:02:32.040 who I think

01:02:32.560 you'd also really

01:02:33.080 like.

01:02:33.440 Congrats on

01:02:33.940 a thousand episodes

01:02:34.580 and here's to

01:02:35.420 a thousand more.

01:02:35.860 Not seen Inflames

01:02:37.800 yet.

01:02:38.120 I've seen Meshuggah 1.00

01:02:38.820 back in 2016.

01:02:39.960 They were awesome

01:02:40.540 but the entire

01:02:41.400 show was just

01:02:42.860 a big strobe

01:02:43.880 light flashing

01:02:44.980 in my eyes

01:02:45.840 with incredibly

01:02:46.660 abrasive music

01:02:47.660 in the background.

01:02:48.020 I hate it when

01:02:48.380 metal bands do

01:02:48.980 that.

01:02:49.180 They get the

01:02:49.540 strobe out and

01:02:50.060 it's like strobes

01:02:50.760 are not for metal.

01:02:51.660 They're for

01:02:52.240 electronic music.

01:02:53.520 I could not see

01:02:54.460 a single member

01:02:55.320 of the band

01:02:55.800 the entire time

01:02:56.520 except for

01:02:56.980 flashing silhouettes.

01:02:58.400 It was awesome

01:02:59.520 and also somebody

01:03:01.000 was smoking a

01:03:02.080 fat joint in the

01:03:03.040 middle of the

01:03:03.540 mosh pit and

01:03:04.180 started sharing

01:03:04.980 it around.

01:03:05.620 That always

01:03:06.100 happens.

01:03:06.240 In an indoor

01:03:06.860 venue.

01:03:07.760 Yeah.

01:03:08.560 Which was quite

01:03:09.120 funny.

01:03:10.700 Fans really

01:03:11.340 hate epileptics 0.99

01:03:12.500 I've discovered.

01:03:14.060 Well you know

01:03:14.500 that's all.

01:03:17.080 You've got to

01:03:17.580 get the week

01:03:18.060 out.

01:03:18.760 Also that was

01:03:20.060 very impressive

01:03:20.580 with the Rubik's

01:03:21.480 Cube.

01:03:22.320 Yes.

01:03:22.800 Someone's got to

01:03:23.300 say it.

01:03:23.840 Well the thing is

01:03:24.660 I learned that

01:03:25.440 apparently Rubik's

01:03:26.120 Cubes are just

01:03:26.580 an algorithm.

01:03:27.540 Yeah.

01:03:28.260 And back when I

01:03:28.920 was working the

01:03:29.560 call center I knew

01:03:30.660 how to solve

01:03:31.540 Rubik's Cubes.

01:03:32.240 I've forgotten

01:03:32.600 now but it really

01:03:33.520 is as simple as

01:03:34.180 you can go

01:03:34.540 online and you'll

01:03:35.700 just find as long

01:03:36.580 as it's three side

01:03:38.800 three side on each

01:03:39.840 then yeah you can

01:03:41.000 get it down within

01:03:41.920 about half an hour

01:03:43.240 and then just commit

01:03:44.700 the algorithm to

01:03:45.440 memory.

01:03:45.920 It was really easy.

01:03:46.560 There was a fleeting

01:03:46.960 trend in my school

01:03:47.600 where the maths

01:03:48.120 autist kids just 0.76

01:03:49.160 tried to outdo

01:03:49.760 each other because

01:03:50.280 they'd all learned

01:03:50.840 how to solve them

01:03:51.600 specifically.

01:03:52.500 What are you

01:03:52.780 saying Connor?

01:03:53.800 I can't do maths

01:03:54.460 so I'm a shit.

01:03:55.280 I put people in

01:03:57.500 bins in school

01:03:58.080 so I definitely

01:03:58.560 didn't do it.

01:04:00.540 Anyway.

01:04:00.940 Hey guys and

01:04:01.280 girls happy episode

01:04:02.300 1000.

01:04:03.820 Doesn't feel like

01:04:04.700 it's been several

01:04:05.340 years but clearly

01:04:06.140 it has been.

01:04:07.000 I worked this out

01:04:07.740 briefly this morning

01:04:08.580 that is about 62

01:04:10.400 days of solid

01:04:11.660 content on the

01:04:13.000 podcast alone if

01:04:14.100 you did literally

01:04:14.940 nothing else for

01:04:15.680 62 days.

01:04:17.260 So congratulations.

01:04:19.520 Good to meet you

01:04:20.440 and Dan at the

01:04:20.960 recent event Carl.

01:04:22.220 Look forward to

01:04:23.340 seeing various

01:04:24.560 other people when

01:04:25.220 I come in to do

01:04:25.980 an episode with

01:04:26.540 Dan hopefully to

01:04:28.080 be sorted in the

01:04:28.660 near future.

01:04:29.420 Take care guys.

01:04:30.680 All the best.

01:04:32.140 Thank you.

01:04:32.780 Is that face

01:04:33.560 dox?

01:04:34.020 That's a face

01:04:34.620 reveal.

01:04:35.480 Binary surfer 1.00

01:04:36.300 face doxing

01:04:37.020 himself.

01:04:37.780 Nice to finally

01:04:38.380 meet you.

01:04:41.360 Next one.

01:04:43.060 Hello Lotus

01:04:43.860 Eaters.

01:04:44.520 I'm a dedicated

01:04:45.460 viewer all the way

01:04:46.500 from Arkansas and

01:04:47.900 this is the first

01:04:48.400 time sending a

01:04:49.080 video message like

01:04:49.900 this so forgive me

01:04:50.920 if it's a bit

01:04:51.400 long winded.

01:04:52.500 First off

01:04:53.100 congrats on

01:04:53.840 reaching a

01:04:54.260 thousand episodes.

01:04:55.460 You guys have

01:04:56.180 more or less been a

01:04:56.980 part of my daily

01:04:57.740 ritual for over

01:04:58.900 three years now and

01:05:00.660 looking back at

01:05:01.480 where I was

01:05:02.020 politically and

01:05:02.820 philosophically before

01:05:03.880 discovering the

01:05:04.620 show I am hardly

01:05:06.000 the same person and

01:05:07.420 I'm sure many can

01:05:08.280 say the same.

01:05:09.500 As a zoomer your

01:05:10.880 content has been

01:05:11.880 one of the few

01:05:12.480 oases from the

01:05:13.600 gray putrid sludge

01:05:14.900 of mainstream

01:05:15.620 leftist talking

01:05:16.400 heads who seek to

01:05:17.380 propagandize us into

01:05:18.740 their capital P

01:05:19.620 progressive vision

01:05:20.540 and the limp

01:05:21.580 wristed boomer

01:05:22.280 cons who have no

01:05:23.480 solution other than

01:05:24.340 to bury their head

01:05:25.420 in the sand and

01:05:26.440 hope the enemy

01:05:27.080 gives quarter.

01:05:28.260 Spoiler they

01:05:28.820 don't.

01:05:29.680 But to keep it

01:05:30.180 short discovering

01:05:31.320 the Lotus Eaters

01:05:32.080 made me discover

01:05:32.920 dadism and with

01:05:34.640 dadism it's hard to

01:05:36.000 go wrong and the

01:05:37.320 more people we can

01:05:38.060 awaken to dadism the

01:05:39.820 better the world

01:05:40.560 will become.

01:05:41.820 Thanks lads.

01:05:42.640 Stay strong.

01:05:43.780 Basically true.

01:05:45.400 Well thank you very

01:05:45.980 much.

01:05:46.320 Good man.

01:05:46.840 Thank you very much.

01:05:47.580 I think we found

01:05:52.720 the biggest idiot

01:05:53.860 of all Twitter.

01:05:54.860 He says while I'm

01:05:55.480 not suggesting Bill

01:05:56.320 Burr is a racist

01:05:57.180 a white man having

01:05:58.260 a non-white wife 0.98

01:05:59.440 can sometimes be a

01:06:00.940 sign of racism.

01:06:01.980 So you shouldn't

01:06:02.860 assume someone isn't

01:06:04.120 racist because they

01:06:05.100 own a minority

01:06:06.280 sex servant. 0.94

01:06:08.560 Having a wife

01:06:09.440 is having a sex 0.87

01:06:10.360 servant.

01:06:13.120 This guy just

01:06:14.080 carrying his

01:06:15.540 brain around

01:06:16.720 like oh god I'm

01:06:17.700 about to drop it

01:06:18.220 boom.

01:06:19.240 Oh god I can't

01:06:20.180 get this huge

01:06:20.920 brain back up

01:06:21.860 again.

01:06:24.660 I mean there is

01:06:25.560 the meme of never

01:06:26.300 ask an internet

01:06:27.040 racist the ethnicity

01:06:27.820 of his girlfriend.

01:06:29.580 I like the fact

01:06:30.020 that Zoobie's like 0.95

01:06:30.640 well done worst

01:06:31.400 tweet ever in the

01:06:32.280 competition.

01:06:34.940 And that is an

01:06:35.640 amazing argument

01:06:36.280 though isn't it?

01:06:38.180 Yeah that's how I

01:06:39.000 know I'm not a

01:06:39.500 racist because my

01:06:40.180 wife's white. 0.63

01:06:42.100 This is what I try

01:06:43.200 and say all of the

01:06:43.980 time and nobody

01:06:44.760 believes me.

01:06:45.560 Yeah literally

01:06:46.200 home not hate

01:06:46.820 come on.

01:06:50.080 From teaching the

01:06:51.380 gamer to hate

01:06:52.280 Anita Sarkeesian

01:06:53.680 to this week in

01:06:54.960 stupid on

01:06:55.500 Speaker's Corner

01:06:56.260 to getting

01:06:56.760 kippered in

01:06:57.360 Gibraltar to the

01:06:58.240 extended explanation

01:06:59.380 of why Heinlein was

01:07:00.520 right about bugs and

01:07:01.720 service guaranteeing

01:07:03.020 citizenships to not

01:07:04.860 even raping Jess

01:07:06.220 Phillips to keto

01:07:07.640 sharia and hiring a

01:07:09.020 crack team of

01:07:09.740 intellectuals and

01:07:10.480 media experts to

01:07:11.780 appearing on Friday

01:07:12.680 night tights and

01:07:13.500 giving speeches with

01:07:14.380 British Voldemort.

01:07:15.540 It's been a wild

01:07:16.200 ride Carl.

01:07:17.100 I can't wait to

01:07:17.680 see what you do

01:07:18.320 next.

01:07:20.200 Oh well I'm

01:07:21.260 going to hopefully

01:07:22.360 kill off a couple

01:07:23.000 of my presenters

01:07:23.560 with this next one.

01:07:24.420 You will never

01:07:25.180 guess what this is.

01:07:26.700 Go on Harry.

01:07:27.280 You will never

01:07:27.440 guess.

01:07:27.800 It's rat isn't

01:07:28.580 it?

01:07:28.780 This is algae.

01:07:30.440 Algae?

01:07:31.140 Yeah.

01:07:32.000 Thank you.

01:07:32.900 I mean I don't

01:07:33.440 this is clumped

01:07:35.120 plankton isn't it?

01:07:36.500 You will never

01:07:36.980 guess.

01:07:37.420 That looks like

01:07:38.140 also that looks

01:07:39.900 like the tires that

01:07:40.720 Nelson Mandela's wife

01:07:41.660 would put around

01:07:42.080 people's necks.

01:07:43.880 Also he didn't

01:07:44.640 just hire

01:07:45.280 intellectuals and

01:07:46.100 media pundits he

01:07:46.840 also hired a

01:07:49.360 northern yobbo.

01:07:51.320 It was a bit

01:07:51.920 chatty.

01:07:52.880 You just managed

01:07:53.460 to sneak in

01:07:54.200 through the cracks

01:07:54.840 didn't you?

01:07:55.880 Harry was our

01:07:56.320 diversity guy.

01:07:56.780 As is my

01:07:57.280 people's way.

01:07:59.720 The texture of

01:08:00.600 that sounds

01:08:01.340 horrific.

01:08:03.120 It isn't bad

01:08:03.820 though.

01:08:05.560 They all smell

01:08:06.760 the same.

01:08:07.740 This does taste

01:08:08.560 good.

01:08:09.680 Hello Losey

01:08:10.340 is that context?

01:08:17.740 You can't guess

01:08:18.560 what it is

01:08:18.900 though right?

01:08:20.720 It tastes

01:08:21.120 like quavers.

01:08:23.100 What?

01:08:23.740 It's like

01:08:23.940 crocodiles.

01:08:24.500 What taste buds

01:08:25.160 do you have?

01:08:25.740 It tastes like

01:08:26.580 quavers.

01:08:27.660 It tastes like

01:08:28.160 reptile of some

01:08:28.840 kind.

01:08:31.800 Reptilian.

01:08:32.860 It's from the

01:08:33.680 moon.

01:08:34.100 It's from

01:08:34.340 Bill Gates.

01:08:34.780 It's reptilian.

01:08:35.580 Reptilian.

01:08:37.280 Thesaurus.

01:08:39.040 It's actually

01:08:39.620 not bad though

01:08:40.160 right?

01:08:40.440 I quite like

01:08:40.960 that yeah.

01:08:41.420 This is okay.

01:08:42.860 Well done

01:08:43.640 reptilian.

01:08:45.380 Horseradish?

01:08:45.900 Yeah.

01:08:47.020 But horseradish

01:08:47.780 isn't meat.

01:08:48.660 I know.

01:08:52.280 But there must

01:08:52.980 be an animal

01:08:53.700 that they put

01:08:54.140 the horseradish

01:08:54.700 on.

01:08:55.140 I don't know.

01:08:55.540 Because I know

01:08:55.980 what a horseradish

01:08:56.660 looks like and

01:08:57.500 it doesn't look

01:08:58.040 like meat.

01:08:59.000 I don't know.

01:08:59.620 I mean it just

01:08:59.980 says horseradish.

01:09:00.680 It still looks

01:09:01.360 like bark.

01:09:03.080 Yeah but we

01:09:03.520 also need to

01:09:04.400 distribute

01:09:05.280 Connor's

01:09:05.880 portion.

01:09:07.400 Sorry you

01:09:07.720 can have

01:09:07.940 some more.

01:09:08.860 Okay thank you.

01:09:09.520 Not allergic to

01:09:10.120 horseradish are you?

01:09:12.200 Don't know what's

01:09:12.980 on there.

01:09:13.460 That was good.

01:09:13.940 Why are you

01:09:14.440 running away

01:09:14.960 Samson?

01:09:15.760 I have no

01:09:16.320 horseradish.

01:09:17.040 I'm good thanks.

01:09:18.160 I do like

01:09:18.940 horseradish that's

01:09:21.380 left left.

01:09:21.740 This is like a

01:09:23.240 horseradish.

01:09:23.980 It's like a

01:09:24.560 mouldy Christmas

01:09:25.620 candy cane.

01:09:27.380 It actually

01:09:27.760 tastes quite good.

01:09:28.520 It is really

01:09:28.940 nice yeah.

01:09:29.560 Thank you.

01:09:29.920 Thanks Harry.

01:09:33.360 Let's go for

01:09:33.780 the next one.

01:09:37.900 Oh is that

01:09:38.620 all of them?

01:09:39.940 Is that all the

01:09:40.340 video comments?

01:09:41.360 We've done all

01:09:42.080 the video comments.

01:09:43.160 Can we get the

01:09:43.980 comments on the

01:09:44.500 page up please?

01:09:45.100 Line me.

01:09:46.520 We should go for

01:09:47.280 some super chats

01:09:47.940 while that's loading.

01:09:48.620 Chats yeah. 0.98

01:09:49.500 Yeah.

01:09:50.680 No doubt.

01:09:55.220 I don't know

01:09:57.860 where to begin.

01:09:59.000 Any of them

01:09:59.500 just.

01:10:01.820 That's a random

01:10:02.400 name says same

01:10:03.080 here in Canada

01:10:03.700 working for our

01:10:04.460 NHS nothing but

01:10:05.520 old childless hags 1.00

01:10:06.360 spending the day

01:10:07.360 talking instead of

01:10:08.760 doing any meaningful

01:10:09.320 work.

01:10:10.320 Also lots of

01:10:10.940 incompetent immigrants 1.00

01:10:11.680 who only help

01:10:12.040 their kind.

01:10:12.640 Man I'm very much

01:10:14.480 sour on public

01:10:16.820 sector workers all

01:10:17.760 kinds at this

01:10:18.280 point.

01:10:18.620 Jess Phillips

01:10:23.920 coming out and

01:10:24.360 being like well

01:10:24.820 I only got good

01:10:25.460 treatment because I

01:10:26.240 support Palestine

01:10:26.880 so yeah okay.

01:10:27.940 You know what

01:10:28.260 Josh I am going to

01:10:29.760 steal the pretzel. 0.99

01:10:30.720 They're good.

01:10:31.300 The pretzels are

01:10:31.920 good.

01:10:32.280 Thank you.

01:10:34.700 If you're curious

01:10:35.660 they're cheese and

01:10:36.300 chive.

01:10:36.720 Oh sour cream and

01:10:37.560 chive sorry.

01:10:39.960 Mr and Mrs Barnes

01:10:40.900 I'm guessing your

01:10:41.580 video comment didn't

01:10:42.380 load for some

01:10:43.260 reason.

01:10:44.000 Can't explain why

01:10:44.760 though I'm afraid.

01:10:46.620 Someone online is

01:10:47.400 asking what is

01:10:47.940 Kubrick part three

01:10:48.780 coming out.

01:10:49.680 It's already been

01:10:50.260 filmed.

01:10:50.880 I don't know when

01:10:52.320 it's going to get

01:10:52.860 edited.

01:10:53.400 We are going to

01:10:54.020 film part four as

01:10:55.100 well very soon.

01:10:56.520 Josh wasn't able to

01:10:58.120 sit in on part three

01:10:59.040 but he will be

01:10:59.820 sadly but he will be

01:11:01.440 sitting in on part

01:11:02.260 four and part four is

01:11:03.880 going to be about the

01:11:04.820 shining and full

01:11:07.020 metal jacket.

01:11:07.680 Which are two of my

01:11:08.220 favorite films so

01:11:09.020 that's a good time to

01:11:09.960 come back.

01:11:10.320 There is a minor

01:11:10.760 editing delay because

01:11:11.460 one of our editors is

01:11:12.220 away but we also have

01:11:13.080 another comics corner

01:11:13.780 coming out which lots of

01:11:14.720 people should enjoy.

01:11:15.560 Yes there's lots

01:11:16.720 often times I've got

01:11:18.440 lots of content that's

01:11:19.500 already been filmed it's

01:11:20.580 just on the back burner

01:11:21.440 and need to take time for

01:11:22.820 it to be edited.

01:11:24.400 Ryan asks a question

01:11:25.140 does the magic soil work

01:11:26.460 faster if the Haitians 1.00

01:11:27.440 eat it?

01:11:29.560 I mean all I'm saying

01:11:30.380 is it comes into their

01:11:31.160 biology maybe.

01:11:33.140 Yeah.

01:11:34.800 Mason says you would

01:11:35.700 think Starmer would use

01:11:36.480 his tyrannical power to

01:11:37.440 make the actual

01:11:38.020 necessary unpopular

01:11:38.860 decisions and cut

01:11:40.100 government spending

01:11:40.800 needed to pay down the

01:11:41.940 debt and stop printing

01:11:42.540 money.

01:11:42.780 Well that's what he's

01:11:43.560 doing by killing off the

01:11:44.460 pensioners.

01:11:45.480 Yeah but most of the

01:11:47.080 large amounts of

01:11:47.840 spending are already

01:11:48.780 committed via Acts of

01:11:49.920 Parliament and you

01:11:51.160 can't cut them within

01:11:51.900 the year cycle that the

01:11:52.960 budget requires so he's

01:11:54.140 just not going to do it.

01:11:55.800 I mean he's going to be

01:11:56.480 there for five years.

01:11:58.080 Yeah but the issue is

01:11:59.900 that the OBR sets the

01:12:01.240 projections in year

01:12:01.960 cycles because each

01:12:03.040 budget is a year.

01:12:04.640 So.

01:12:06.300 Can somebody slide me

01:12:07.300 the starburst please.

01:12:08.340 Thank you.

01:12:14.800 Nore Mito says in

01:12:17.060 regards to the ducks

01:12:17.700 it's particularly sad to

01:12:18.580 me.

01:12:19.200 My two kids have a bit

01:12:20.060 of a morning routine of

01:12:21.360 looking at the ducks in

01:12:22.020 the nearby pond.

01:12:23.000 They absolutely love

01:12:23.440 them.

01:12:23.620 Yeah but whenever I take

01:12:24.920 my kids down to the

01:12:25.700 local lake they love

01:12:26.900 feeding the ducks.

01:12:27.800 I love ducks.

01:12:28.620 They're great.

01:12:28.900 I'm going to put this

01:12:29.200 out there.

01:12:29.520 Don't feed ducks bread.

01:12:30.580 It's bad for them.

01:12:31.220 It gives them diarrhea.

01:12:32.220 Really?

01:12:32.560 You're meant to feed

01:12:33.140 them their natural diet.

01:12:34.300 Like peas and seeds.

01:12:35.480 Yeah exactly.

01:12:36.580 If you give them bread

01:12:37.780 it gives them the

01:12:38.500 shits.

01:12:38.960 The local lake near

01:12:40.560 mine they have signs

01:12:41.920 up saying don't feed

01:12:42.600 them bread and there's

01:12:43.180 normally a guy in a

01:12:44.680 stand there selling

01:12:45.320 seeds for you.

01:12:46.120 Turns out I've been

01:12:46.440 poisoning our ducks.

01:12:49.360 Carl's secretly

01:12:50.160 Haitian.

01:12:50.700 I used to feed ducks

01:12:52.060 bread as well so I

01:12:53.140 was unintentionally just

01:12:54.040 giving loads of ducks

01:12:55.000 diarrhea.

01:12:55.760 It's just received

01:12:56.300 wisdom isn't it?

01:12:57.160 It is yeah.

01:12:57.680 It's good intentions

01:12:58.520 at least.

01:12:59.580 So I can't pronounce

01:13:02.020 that name says

01:13:02.740 it seems like Starmer's

01:13:04.540 trying to destroy the

01:13:05.340 working middle classes by

01:13:06.360 taxing us in poverty.

01:13:09.400 True.

01:13:10.380 How else are you

01:13:11.060 supposed to interpret

01:13:11.700 this?

01:13:13.240 I mean this is the

01:13:14.000 thing about the

01:13:14.380 client groups like

01:13:15.040 yeah okay so we've

01:13:15.640 got the civil service

01:13:16.360 we've got the

01:13:16.780 foreigners we've got 1.00

01:13:17.380 the prisoners.

01:13:18.940 Fuck everyone else

01:13:19.700 is that great.

01:13:21.580 Why am I not a

01:13:23.880 prisoner?

01:13:26.560 You are here giving

01:13:27.840 money to pedophiles.

01:13:32.160 It's literally by force

01:13:33.660 or they're going to

01:13:34.580 shoot you. 0.99

01:13:36.220 Or they're going to

01:13:37.380 arrest you and

01:13:38.080 they're going to you

01:13:38.820 know get some

01:13:39.360 pedophiles out of

01:13:40.140 prison so they can

01:13:40.860 make room for you.

01:13:41.540 Or wipe you in

01:13:42.100 prison with the

01:13:42.520 pedophiles who then

01:13:43.100 kill you. 0.99

01:13:43.860 Two of every flavor

01:13:45.060 of Starburst Harry.

01:13:46.480 Yeah.

01:13:47.340 What's the deal with

01:13:48.240 that?

01:13:48.940 Why?

01:13:50.560 Because I want them.

01:13:51.900 But two of every

01:13:52.680 flavor.

01:13:54.140 Why is that so

01:13:55.080 confusing to you?

01:13:56.220 Where on the

01:13:57.100 spectrum are you?

01:13:58.360 What do you mean?

01:14:01.260 Why did you have to

01:14:02.280 pick out two of every

01:14:03.240 flavor?

01:14:03.780 Because I wanted two

01:14:04.880 of every flavor.

01:14:05.960 Why did you want two

01:14:06.780 of every flavor?

01:14:07.980 Okay.

01:14:08.480 All right.

01:14:09.220 Okay.

01:14:09.580 Okay.

01:14:09.780 You want to know how

01:14:10.980 autistic it is?

01:14:11.920 All right.

01:14:12.180 Okay.

01:14:12.700 I wanted to do a cycle

01:14:14.420 going green, purple,

01:14:15.960 orange, red, and then

01:14:17.400 back again twice over.

01:14:19.060 There it is.

01:14:19.740 Yeah.

01:14:20.000 That's what it is.

01:14:20.860 Because it satisfies

01:14:21.860 me to do that.

01:14:23.540 All right.

01:14:23.940 I think we didn't

01:14:24.540 know there wasn't

01:14:25.140 autism underneath it.

01:14:26.420 I'm not autistic.

01:14:27.680 I just want two of

01:14:28.540 each one.

01:14:29.200 I'm not autistic.

01:14:30.020 All right.

01:14:30.880 Okay.

01:14:31.260 It's this autistic cycle. 1.00

01:14:32.360 Okay.

01:14:32.920 How many people did

01:14:33.640 you pay to check?

01:14:35.720 Right.

01:14:36.400 I'm not autistic.

01:14:37.740 Okay.

01:14:38.660 I don't need to be

01:14:39.580 checked.

01:14:39.820 I don't eat cats.

01:14:40.880 Okay.

01:14:43.160 Eating Starburst is

01:14:44.040 far better than

01:14:44.700 eating cats.

01:14:45.420 I don't doubt.

01:14:46.200 I'll analyze anyone

01:14:46.940 I want.

01:14:47.440 I didn't spend four

01:14:48.120 years at university

01:14:49.000 wasting my money

01:14:50.960 not to analyze people.

01:14:52.620 Mark's a shame

01:14:53.160 says that Kirsten

01:14:54.180 Armour is going to

01:14:54.660 track down every

01:14:55.400 building that holds

01:14:55.960 a copy of Islander

01:14:56.640 and send in his

01:14:57.360 five people to

01:14:58.120 increase the

01:14:58.480 temperature to

01:14:58.940 233 degrees.

01:15:01.580 Entirely possible.

01:15:03.280 Get your copy now.

01:15:05.180 Pat says useless

01:15:06.600 trivia of the day.

01:15:07.780 The name of that

01:15:08.280 vulture character from

01:15:09.180 Disney's Robin Hood

01:15:09.960 is Trigger.

01:15:10.780 Oh yeah.

01:15:11.340 Of course Trigger

01:15:11.760 and Nutley.

01:15:12.240 Yeah.

01:15:12.480 It's a great film.

01:15:13.420 Oh yeah.

01:15:14.000 It's classic.

01:15:14.500 It's been a while

01:15:15.280 since I've won.

01:15:16.040 Disney top three

01:15:17.040 I'd say.

01:15:17.680 Oh yeah.

01:15:20.120 Dragon Lady Chris

01:15:21.020 says have you all

01:15:21.720 considered selling

01:15:22.640 copies of

01:15:23.140 Islander signed by

01:15:24.020 you for a higher

01:15:24.860 price.

01:15:25.920 The problem is

01:15:27.940 logistics really

01:15:29.020 because the printers

01:15:30.080 then send it to you

01:15:31.240 so it doesn't actually

01:15:32.180 come via us

01:15:33.140 and we don't really

01:15:34.260 have the sort of

01:15:35.120 capacity to get

01:15:36.680 people to send them

01:15:38.240 out after they come

01:15:38.940 here.

01:15:39.820 So.

01:15:40.280 Tarek Nishid

01:15:40.760 understands.

01:15:42.280 What?

01:15:43.560 Oh.

01:15:44.800 You've been

01:15:45.360 representing him so

01:15:46.240 much today.

01:15:47.280 I know.

01:15:47.860 It's just been.

01:15:48.220 Tarek Nishid's always on.

01:15:48.980 It comes up a lot in

01:15:49.820 this podcast.

01:15:50.940 It was just that he

01:15:52.180 said to me,

01:15:53.000 Josh, how is how is

01:15:54.400 it logistically

01:15:55.000 possible that 14%

01:15:56.560 of the population

01:15:58.100 commit 50% of the

01:15:59.520 crime?

01:16:00.160 And me and Harry

01:16:01.000 were having fun with

01:16:01.820 AI generating images

01:16:02.980 of how that's

01:16:03.740 logistically possible.

01:16:05.120 It takes a lot of

01:16:05.840 planning.

01:16:06.380 It does.

01:16:06.920 Yeah.

01:16:08.240 I like, you know,

01:16:09.040 the folks on logistic

01:16:10.540 possibility.

01:16:12.920 It has to do with

01:16:13.820 the procurement

01:16:14.520 of rations.

01:16:15.680 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:16.460 As Napoleon said,

01:16:18.040 you know,

01:16:19.780 the professionals

01:16:20.580 focus on logistics.

01:16:22.180 That's true.

01:16:22.760 I can't remember the

01:16:23.420 full quote.

01:16:23.960 Amateurs focus on

01:16:25.020 tactics.

01:16:26.660 Thank you, Carl.

01:16:27.900 We've got furries in

01:16:29.300 our chat.

01:16:30.160 I've just noticed

01:16:31.060 there's furries in

01:16:31.960 the chat.

01:16:34.320 Samson.

01:16:34.680 Absolutely haram.

01:16:36.060 Bonk them, 0.97

01:16:36.720 Samson.

01:16:37.600 What are they

01:16:38.100 saying?

01:16:39.640 Threadnought says,

01:16:40.560 Haiti got billions

01:16:41.360 in foreign aid when

01:16:42.780 they only wanted a

01:16:43.520 few million in

01:16:44.120 reparations for the

01:16:44.940 damage caused by the

01:16:45.640 genocide.

01:16:46.380 It's hopeless there.

01:16:47.420 I pointed this out

01:16:48.420 yesterday when I,

01:16:49.280 you know, posted a

01:16:50.100 picture of Haiti and

01:16:50.900 somebody said, well,

01:16:51.540 the French did really 1.00

01:16:52.360 screw them over.

01:16:53.420 They've had 20 times

01:16:55.120 the amount in

01:16:55.820 international aid than

01:16:57.200 they were ever, than

01:16:58.240 they ever owed to

01:16:59.500 France.

01:16:59.860 The thing is, I bet

01:17:00.720 if you dropped, like,

01:17:02.300 just drop a hundred

01:17:03.780 Europeans on Haiti

01:17:05.040 with nothing, just

01:17:07.020 literally naked on

01:17:08.200 Haiti.

01:17:08.760 This next Mr.

01:17:09.660 Beast video.

01:17:10.300 Yeah, but you

01:17:11.800 would have a little

01:17:12.460 island paradise in

01:17:13.320 50 years.

01:17:14.260 Yeah, you would.

01:17:14.820 They certainly

01:17:15.000 wouldn't be eating

01:17:15.600 dirt.

01:17:16.000 I was going to say,

01:17:16.420 you don't want to

01:17:16.720 send any Mr.

01:17:17.300 Beast colleagues to

01:17:18.040 Haiti.

01:17:18.380 They probably already

01:17:18.900 had problems like

01:17:19.680 that.

01:17:21.340 Yeah.

01:17:22.480 Don't be any

01:17:22.920 hungry children.

01:17:23.680 What?

01:17:27.440 Buka says,

01:17:28.460 goodwill from

01:17:31.000 Serbia for longevity.

01:17:32.220 You hope that time

01:17:33.700 will bring many more

01:17:34.440 cheerful subjects

01:17:35.160 for talks for all

01:17:35.860 of us.

01:17:36.320 Yeah, that won't

01:17:36.680 happen.

01:17:37.200 Well, I mean,

01:17:37.560 maybe.

01:17:38.660 There won't be

01:17:39.360 cheerful subjects.

01:17:41.540 Britain's really 0.98

01:17:42.180 going down the tube.

01:17:43.540 Basically, we have to

01:17:45.080 live vicariously through

01:17:46.100 other countries if we

01:17:46.940 want good news.

01:17:48.080 So, you know, like

01:17:49.440 with Bukali and El

01:17:51.240 Salvador.

01:17:51.780 Or Sweden's going to 0.83

01:17:53.160 just pay people to

01:17:54.120 fuck off.

01:17:55.140 It's not going to

01:17:57.300 work.

01:17:58.960 It's not a lot.

01:18:00.120 Listen, listen.

01:18:01.040 I know.

01:18:01.940 Okay.

01:18:02.720 I know.

01:18:03.600 Let me feel good about

01:18:05.140 something.

01:18:05.660 No, I'm going to

01:18:06.620 ruin it.

01:18:07.780 Bukali's basically the 1.00

01:18:08.620 best we've got for

01:18:09.340 good news.

01:18:10.380 All right.

01:18:10.600 Well, in that case,

01:18:11.340 for the time being,

01:18:12.180 I will still have

01:18:12.840 plenty of time whilst

01:18:13.980 not in prison yet

01:18:14.980 to read books.

01:18:16.960 That's true.

01:18:17.540 Which I enjoy.

01:18:18.900 And do push-ups.

01:18:20.800 Bench press.

01:18:22.420 Do you think Starmer's

01:18:23.160 going to make sure that

01:18:23.800 we can't get the

01:18:24.420 push-ups? 0.84

01:18:24.820 I do bench.

01:18:26.840 Yeah, we're going to

01:18:27.460 be forced to read

01:18:28.160 Mary Beard.

01:18:29.160 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

01:18:29.680 Robin DiAngelo.

01:18:30.900 They're going to present

01:18:31.520 us with a bunch of

01:18:32.180 shitlibs.

01:18:32.680 It's going to be

01:18:33.200 the one book

01:18:36.800 you're allowed

01:18:37.260 is the James O'Brien.

01:18:37.780 I've already read it.

01:18:38.880 I've already read it.

01:18:40.620 No.

01:18:41.660 I'll keep my hatred alive

01:18:43.220 by reading these books

01:18:45.120 and I'll just be there

01:18:45.720 doing set-ups and push-ups.

01:18:46.780 While you radicalised

01:18:47.740 in prison,

01:18:48.260 I read James O'Brien

01:18:49.320 over and over.

01:18:49.920 You've got a speaker

01:18:50.620 in the corner of your cell

01:18:51.240 that's just Caitlin Moran's

01:18:52.240 What About Men narrated.

01:18:53.720 Josh will have

01:18:54.320 James O'Brien's face

01:18:55.500 on the wall here.

01:18:56.760 You see shadow boxing.

01:19:00.240 Fate worse than death.

01:19:01.520 I know.

01:19:02.200 God.

01:19:03.200 The thing is

01:19:03.620 they're not exactly

01:19:04.560 going to let you

01:19:04.920 watch anything interesting

01:19:05.800 or read anything interesting

01:19:06.840 are they?

01:19:08.120 The second largest

01:19:08.640 border wall in the Americas

01:19:09.520 is the Haiti-Dominican border

01:19:10.920 and they have used

01:19:11.800 lethal force to enforce it.

01:19:14.020 Well, you would,

01:19:14.520 wouldn't you?

01:19:15.720 Like, obviously.

01:19:17.540 That'll get eaten.

01:19:20.320 Controversial opinion.

01:19:21.460 Millennials are nowhere 1.00

01:19:22.340 near as liberal

01:19:23.000 as the boomers.

01:19:24.220 The politically active

01:19:25.440 millennials are polled

01:19:26.780 while they use for work.

01:19:29.100 Vivek is the rest

01:19:29.980 that are now becoming active.

01:19:31.200 No, millennial women 1.00

01:19:32.240 are far more liberal

01:19:33.360 than boomer women. 1.00

01:19:34.040 And the reason is

01:19:34.840 they just aren't having kids.

01:19:35.840 This is why the

01:19:36.280 Quirk Chungus meme exists.

01:19:37.940 And the boomer women 1.00

01:19:38.780 are pretty liberal.

01:19:40.140 I mean, boomers 1.00

01:19:40.640 are congenitally liberal.

01:19:42.300 Well, if you're going to use

01:19:43.980 the term accurately,

01:19:44.960 they're massively illiberal

01:19:46.200 in a lot of the things

01:19:47.600 that they want

01:19:48.340 so that I can satisfy

01:19:49.700 Stelios, who I know was...

01:19:51.180 No, they're peak liberal.

01:19:51.880 I know there were sirens

01:19:52.900 going off in Stelios' mind

01:19:54.340 and I needed to correct you

01:19:55.500 on that.

01:19:56.180 They are woke.

01:19:57.620 That's the same thing.

01:19:59.420 There is a debate

01:20:00.060 to be had on this.

01:20:01.200 We've had it.

01:20:01.860 I was going to say,

01:20:02.840 I believe all four of you...

01:20:04.460 No, no, no.

01:20:05.000 If I just remember

01:20:06.220 how it went, actually,

01:20:07.600 you had four episodes,

01:20:09.560 three episodes debating it,

01:20:11.780 and then you two decided

01:20:13.200 you were so confident

01:20:14.300 in your position

01:20:14.980 that you weren't going

01:20:16.300 to have a fourth part.

01:20:17.020 No, I didn't.

01:20:17.400 Left them out of it.

01:20:18.240 No, no, actually,

01:20:19.000 I did a fourth part

01:20:19.840 with Stelios for Symposium.

01:20:21.760 And how did that go?

01:20:22.920 And I won.

01:20:23.880 Has this got caramel on it?

01:20:25.160 I did.

01:20:26.260 Also, the fourth part

01:20:27.720 was basically a book club.

01:20:29.520 No, I'm not even touching that one.

01:20:31.320 That's grim.

01:20:32.540 I mean, we can go again

01:20:34.460 if you want.

01:20:35.120 Sure.

01:20:35.940 Okay, let's go.

01:20:40.200 Smells...

01:20:40.880 That looks awful.

01:20:41.780 If my boots smelled like this,

01:20:43.120 I'd send them back.

01:20:43.480 It's like it's got caramel on it.

01:20:45.980 Ah.

01:20:46.560 Yeah.

01:20:48.240 Mold.

01:20:52.980 It's pushed like a trial.

01:20:56.320 That's the poison one.

01:20:57.460 The one that fell down.

01:21:00.860 This one is nice.

01:21:02.900 Smells awful.

01:21:04.420 Is it gold?

01:21:07.820 Boar.

01:21:09.300 Boar is good.

01:21:10.460 I've tasted boar

01:21:11.500 in several versions.

01:21:14.240 Really good.

01:21:15.080 I've had wild boar.

01:21:15.460 Wild boar is the best.

01:21:16.900 Wild boar is much better than pig.

01:21:18.820 Yeah.

01:21:19.500 Wild boar, cider, and mustard.

01:21:21.380 That's good, yeah.

01:21:22.320 It's nice.

01:21:23.460 Fat's all greasy.

01:21:24.460 I love wild boar.

01:21:25.580 I've had it loads.

01:21:26.180 Surprisingly.

01:21:26.620 A londis says,

01:21:36.800 question for Connor.

01:21:37.800 I'm taking my parents to Japan in November.

01:21:40.000 Is there anything you would recommend visiting?

01:21:42.280 Nora,

01:21:42.840 because the entire city is overrun by deer,

01:21:44.680 and they're really friendly,

01:21:45.800 and they basically treat you like Snow White.

01:21:47.740 So they'll come up and nozzle you and make... 0.53

01:21:49.900 Why is the city overrun by deer?

01:21:51.800 They've learned to cross the road,

01:21:53.580 and they...

01:21:54.040 No, genuinely, yeah.

01:21:54.820 They use crosswalk.

01:21:56.380 Yeah, they...

01:21:57.500 Yeah, they live there in the temple.

01:21:59.900 Also, Kyoto's fantastic.

01:22:01.720 I'd say go to all of the hidden little gardens

01:22:03.640 and shrines and temples

01:22:05.560 and walk around the mountains

01:22:06.580 and go to the Guion district

01:22:07.880 because they've got really good food.

01:22:09.340 They subsidize their beef industry there,

01:22:11.440 so the steak is just insanely cheap, and...

01:22:13.460 No, no, they haven't.

01:22:18.000 No, no, you can go to the Guion district.

01:22:20.980 It's just, like, certain roads you can't go down

01:22:22.840 because you can't...

01:22:23.700 Because moronic Americans 1.00

01:22:25.400 started photographing the geishas,

01:22:27.100 and you're not meant to interfere with them.

01:22:29.400 But you can still eat there.

01:22:30.540 It's nice.

01:22:31.080 It's good.

01:22:31.420 We ate all the deer here.

01:22:34.360 We had all the deer.

01:22:35.980 We didn't have everything.

01:22:37.940 Those are deer.

01:22:41.320 Harry, where did that bit of meat go?

01:22:42.720 I'm going back there for my...

01:22:43.920 I think it just hit you in the eye and vanished.

01:22:46.280 It did, yeah.

01:22:46.780 It was largely a bit of fat, to be honest.

01:22:51.860 I ate most of it.

01:22:54.140 That's true, yeah.

01:22:56.400 If you're thick like me,

01:22:57.780 don't get Bitcoin by gold, okay?

01:23:00.400 This is not financial advice.

01:23:02.060 Yeah.

01:23:02.700 This is a soup chat I'm reading.

01:23:04.240 I would, just for the sake of it,

01:23:05.740 like to own a gold bar.

01:23:08.240 Also, gold has retained value

01:23:10.320 all throughout history, so there is that.

01:23:12.280 True.

01:23:12.640 Gold is gold.

01:23:13.380 Also, home defence purposes,

01:23:15.200 if I've got my gold brick by my bed at all times

01:23:17.760 and there's an intruder.

01:23:18.940 It's not contingent on internet access as well.

01:23:20.620 Yeah.

01:23:20.760 Even if you get arrested for assault,

01:23:22.540 it's going to sound awesome

01:23:23.480 that you assaulted someone with a brick of gold.

01:23:25.580 No, no, no.

01:23:25.840 Not assaulted.

01:23:26.380 Beat someone to death with a brick of gold.

01:23:29.060 Whatever.

01:23:30.080 I love gold.

01:23:32.580 Yeah.

01:23:33.140 If you want to send us stuff, audience,

01:23:35.240 send us gold.

01:23:36.480 We love gold.

01:23:37.840 You need a gold chain, Stelios.

01:23:39.580 Dressed like that.

01:23:40.100 You need one button less

01:23:41.480 and then a big gold chain.

01:23:44.500 I'm a dragon in a past life.

01:23:45.540 Speaking of Smaug,

01:23:48.280 the Shadowband says,

01:23:49.620 the best part about lab-grown meat

01:23:50.960 is that someday there will be a lab-grown dragon.

01:23:53.860 I'm not sure that's how it works.

01:23:55.040 Don't win me over.

01:23:55.860 We haven't been able to decipher dragon's DNA.

01:23:58.660 Well, you could get a lab-grown mammoth

01:24:00.660 at some point, though.

01:24:01.740 They're trying to do that.

01:24:02.700 Yeah, no, no.

01:24:03.160 It's entirely possible.

01:24:05.240 Frozen mammoths keep falling out of the tundra.

01:24:08.260 Thank God for Global Warming.

01:24:09.880 It's falling out of the sky.

01:24:11.200 I also love dragons.

01:24:13.680 Yeah, they're cool.

01:24:15.620 It's like having a six-year-old at the table.

01:24:19.160 If you can send Stelios a dragon,

01:24:21.220 he'll be a very happy boy.

01:24:22.200 A very mature and demure six-year-old.

01:24:24.320 I also like dragons.

01:24:25.820 You know Two Steps from Hell, Dragon Rider?

01:24:28.780 I know Three Steps from Hell, the Pantera song.

01:24:32.120 Good song.

01:24:33.060 I'll send it to you.

01:24:34.300 Wait, is that the name of the song?

01:24:35.440 I might have fucked that up.

01:24:37.040 I knew which one you meant.

01:24:37.880 Oh, is it Twelve Steps to Nowhere?

01:24:39.880 It's a great song, either way.

01:24:42.900 Thirteen Steps to Nowhere.

01:24:44.120 That's it.

01:24:44.740 Yeah.

01:24:45.740 Google knows.

01:24:47.040 Ramshack a lot says,

01:24:48.180 I started hate-watching in 2020,

01:24:49.640 and now I'm fully radicalised.

01:24:53.240 Welcome aboard.

01:24:54.180 Amazingly, how many women I've managed to radicalise. 0.99

01:24:56.860 We've got a high proportion of the female audience 0.99

01:24:58.600 on the website.

01:25:00.680 Apparently Two Steps from Hell are, quote,

01:25:02.800 the epic music band.

01:25:04.740 Yeah.

01:25:05.680 You don't know them.

01:25:07.560 I should.

01:25:08.380 Harry, you will have listened to their tracks

01:25:10.040 in random YouTube videos.

01:25:10.800 You must.

01:25:11.360 You know them.

01:25:12.260 Basically, you're going to listen to the songs

01:25:13.880 and you're going to say,

01:25:14.660 ah, that's it.

01:25:15.680 Oh, okay.

01:25:16.640 I'm always happy for a nice surprise.

01:25:20.220 Caleb sends $50, which is great.

01:25:22.400 Thank you, man.

01:25:22.780 Thank you.

01:25:23.440 It says,

01:25:23.840 how many behind-the-scenes crew are there?

01:25:29.900 Six.

01:25:31.300 No, it's not.

01:25:33.080 There's none.

01:25:34.100 This whole operation runs by willpower alone.

01:25:36.940 Six and like a half,

01:25:38.080 because there are sort of, you know.

01:25:39.500 We hire a dwarf. 0.99

01:25:40.540 Nice way to sit back, Donna. 0.89

01:25:46.200 Yeah, there's quite a few.

01:25:50.260 There are the website guys as well,

01:25:54.360 but they're not full-time.

01:25:55.880 They contract, so.

01:25:57.360 That would actually,

01:25:59.060 that's a random name.

01:26:00.440 It's just suggested a really good Islander ad

01:26:02.340 for the future.

01:26:03.840 You should say someone at Downing Street

01:26:05.060 ordered a copy of Islander.

01:26:06.040 Well, we could just like edit a knock on number 10

01:26:08.740 and just someone leaving an Islander

01:26:10.040 on the doorstep.

01:26:11.760 We just send them a copy.

01:26:13.920 No, they don't take,

01:26:14.580 they don't take,

01:26:15.440 they don't take requests.

01:26:16.120 They don't have a P.O. box

01:26:17.420 at 10 Downing Street.

01:26:19.120 Stelios, you missed out on that one.

01:26:21.780 I don't do requests.

01:26:23.800 There we go.

01:26:24.820 I basically completely blanked.

01:26:26.820 I know you did.

01:26:27.380 One of those moments I had in the beginning.

01:26:29.380 Hello.

01:26:29.660 I'm with Zachary on this.

01:26:31.880 At this point,

01:26:32.380 my righteous hatred of keeping me alive.

01:26:34.400 Man, literally too angry to die.

01:26:35.760 Yeah.

01:26:37.040 I just,

01:26:38.460 the way the country is,

01:26:39.340 it's just so unbelievable.

01:26:41.120 People are like,

01:26:41.480 when you leave,

01:26:41.980 you're like,

01:26:42.200 no, I'm just too angry to leave.

01:26:44.080 Too angry.

01:26:44.820 That's why I don't really tweet on weekends

01:26:45.980 because I just need to go

01:26:46.880 and like interact with some animals

01:26:48.160 and completely shut off.

01:26:49.420 Otherwise,

01:26:50.860 what form of interaction is this?

01:26:55.320 Don't project your Mediterranean lifestyle 0.99

01:26:56.940 on me, my friend.

01:26:58.180 I mean,

01:26:58.620 we've already seen what the Turks do.

01:26:59.840 You're not culturally rich.

01:27:01.100 We already,

01:27:01.480 we already heard what you wanted to do

01:27:02.980 during the hot fuzz lads hour.

01:27:04.900 Let's not go there.

01:27:05.620 Constructural enrichment.

01:27:13.600 The problem is,

01:27:14.660 Lancelot,

01:27:15.520 Alfred the Great was capable of raising an army.

01:27:19.900 We can't do that.

01:27:20.800 We also cannot incite any illegal activity,

01:27:25.940 so don't post that on our comments, please.

01:27:28.780 We can't burn cakes, though.

01:27:32.020 I don't think that's going to inspire political action, though.

01:27:35.180 People like cakes.

01:27:36.140 Josh is Mrs. Doubtfire, Maxie.

01:27:43.520 It was a wholesome movie,

01:27:45.240 Mrs. Doubtfire,

01:27:46.220 with, uh...

01:27:47.020 It's quite sad.

01:27:48.240 It is,

01:27:48.820 but it was wholesome,

01:27:50.300 simultaneously.

01:27:50.840 Now they've made the musical

01:27:51.780 and it's all about being tranny.

01:27:53.940 I haven't watched the new one.

01:27:55.640 They made a new one?

01:27:56.720 No, they've made a musical.

01:27:57.800 It's like a stage show.

01:27:58.200 Of course it's about being a tranny. 0.99

01:27:59.920 They've had, like,

01:28:00.740 these weird musicals

01:28:01.980 broadcast all across London.

01:28:02.980 About three of them are on at the same time

01:28:04.380 and it's about being trans.

01:28:06.940 Which is not what Mrs. Doubtfire is about. 0.99

01:28:08.580 No.

01:28:09.280 No, it's about divorce laws

01:28:10.800 screwing over fathers.

01:28:11.860 Yeah.

01:28:12.560 Yeah.

01:28:13.760 And dressing up as women. 0.99

01:28:16.100 For a joke.

01:28:17.120 Yeah, well, that's the extent he went to

01:28:18.460 in order to interact with his kids.

01:28:19.840 Yeah, Jan Harvey makes a point here.

01:28:22.320 Pandas aren't known to be particularly smart

01:28:23.820 or having good survival instincts, either.

01:28:25.900 I think everyone would love to have pandas life.

01:28:27.520 I don't understand how pandas exist.

01:28:29.400 Because they exist concurrently with tigers.

01:28:32.840 And also, when they're in captivity,

01:28:34.500 we basically have to force them to reproduce.

01:28:37.800 Like, do they just taste bad or something?

01:28:41.920 Well, they eat as bamboo,

01:28:43.200 so they probably don't taste very nice.

01:28:44.740 What's wrong with bamboo?

01:28:46.740 It's not very nutrient-dense.

01:28:48.580 No, it's lovely.

01:28:49.600 Haven't you eaten bamboo?

01:28:50.340 I've had bamboo shoots, yeah.

01:28:52.940 It's not like they're eating eucalyptus.

01:28:54.780 Do you know how many sloths die

01:28:57.160 because they reach for a branch that isn't there

01:28:59.040 and just fall and can't get up?

01:29:00.420 They grab their own arm.

01:29:02.520 Yeah, they are.

01:29:03.920 They're adorable, but really stupid.

01:29:05.500 They also...

01:29:05.920 The only time they come down from the trees

01:29:07.420 is to go to the toilet

01:29:08.560 because they haven't developed the ability

01:29:10.380 to go to the toilet in a tree.

01:29:13.060 They have to go to the ground.

01:29:14.080 Why do they have to do anything?

01:29:15.600 Yeah, can they not just shit where they are?

01:29:17.500 Yeah, and won't it fall away?

01:29:19.280 They can't go with it, apparently.

01:29:20.600 I mean, I wouldn't like to be walking through a forest

01:29:22.380 and, you know, sloth shit hit me in the head,

01:29:25.040 but still, for their own sake.

01:29:26.880 Very slowly.

01:29:27.440 I could understand why they would do that, right?

01:29:29.760 I mean, you know,

01:29:31.260 I'm the world's slowest creature.

01:29:33.020 I've got to climb all the way down to the ground

01:29:34.780 just to take a dump.

01:29:36.280 I mean, I think you could just go for it.

01:29:39.920 You know?

01:29:42.680 Anyway.

01:29:44.900 I did see an episode of Planet Earth

01:29:46.600 where they're swimming,

01:29:47.480 which I was very surprised about.

01:29:48.960 Sloths can swim.

01:29:50.640 But then we covered...

01:29:51.920 I feel that if you're a sloth

01:29:53.160 and you're in a position where you have to swim,

01:29:54.720 you've made some mistakes.

01:29:56.000 That's true.

01:29:56.720 Lots of them live in mangroves, though.

01:29:58.660 But we covered a story yesterday

01:30:00.980 of a Muslim that got thrown into a pond

01:30:03.200 and he couldn't swim and died.

01:30:05.860 So sloths are better swimmers than one Muslim man. 1.00

01:30:07.680 He was a buff Muslim as well,

01:30:09.040 so you'd expect him to actually have

01:30:10.320 some athletic ability.

01:30:11.360 Well, he's a gym personal trainer.

01:30:12.720 Maybe his muscles weighed him down.

01:30:14.580 It does actually...

01:30:15.680 If only I hadn't shot all that trend, no.

01:30:17.560 That's why if you watch the Olympics swimming,

01:30:20.640 a certain continent doesn't do particularly well.

01:30:24.560 This is also how mystery movies could start.

01:30:27.500 You see a sloth swimming.

01:30:29.540 See what happened.

01:30:31.220 There's instant tension.

01:30:32.960 And then there's flashback to see,

01:30:34.680 you know, three days before.

01:30:36.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:37.020 Stelios' film, Life of a Sloth.

01:30:39.160 It's going to be releasing in 2026.

01:30:40.760 When Lotus Eaters Productions first kicks in,

01:30:42.440 that's going to be our debut feature.

01:30:43.900 Stelios' sloth movie.

01:30:45.320 Sloth trying to escape Stelios.

01:30:49.780 You could be stalking it the whole time.

01:30:52.380 It's a fast-paced film.

01:30:55.600 Charlie says,

01:30:56.560 Saw Joanna Lumley do a program where she traveled through 80.

01:30:59.360 It was funny watching her trying to make it out

01:31:01.380 as an amazing country,

01:31:02.720 but no matter what you did,

01:31:03.500 you could see that it was just shithole.

01:31:06.080 It even showed them making the dirt cookies.

01:31:08.600 Can we,

01:31:09.080 Samson,

01:31:09.500 can we get the dirt cookies up, please?

01:31:11.920 It's all over Twitter.

01:31:13.300 Yeah, I actually haven't seen the making.

01:31:15.320 You haven't seen the...

01:31:16.500 I find it hilarious that Joanna Lumley went to Haiti as well.

01:31:19.660 It's disgusting.

01:31:21.320 I think that's it.

01:31:22.460 That's it, actually.

01:31:23.140 I think that might be the clip.

01:31:24.180 The video.

01:31:24.780 Go to the video.

01:31:26.220 Yeah, that top one.

01:31:27.080 Top one.

01:31:27.420 Top one.

01:31:27.960 No, the one beneath.

01:31:29.140 There's a link at the top.

01:31:30.240 There we go.

01:31:32.900 That's it.

01:31:33.560 Yeah, they leave them to dry out in the sun.

01:31:36.600 I think it's a...

01:31:37.980 They look a lot like pancakes or cookies.

01:31:41.940 Do they?

01:31:42.120 The recipe passed down from generations here in Haiti.

01:31:45.380 Women spend entire days making them. 1.00

01:31:47.620 Grandmothers, daughters, and younger girls.

01:31:50.080 Infants are nurse, while mothers work the mix. 1.00

01:31:53.460 Kids seem to enjoy them,

01:31:55.220 at least when our camera was around.

01:31:56.740 But these patties, known as bonbon tares by the Haitians who eat them, 0.93

01:32:02.100 are a grim reminder of just how poor this Caribbean nation is.

01:32:06.480 They aren't sweet, they're hard to swallow,

01:32:08.960 and add almost nothing in terms of nutrition,

01:32:11.820 because the cookies are actually made of dirt.

01:32:16.700 It fills your stomach.

01:32:18.580 When we haven't eaten anything, this dirt cookie fills your stomach.

01:32:23.320 Created, sold, and even imported by women, 1.00

01:32:25.780 here in the poorest section of the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere.

01:32:30.880 City Soleil, in Port-au-Prince, Haiti.

01:32:34.360 Small amounts of vegetable shortening, salt, and occasionally sugar,

01:32:38.600 are mixed in with the dirt and water as well.

01:32:41.020 Made in places like this, 0.60

01:32:42.720 an old fort where torture was once common by corrupt dictators here.

01:32:47.340 The Fort de Manche is now a center of commerce,

01:32:50.040 built around the dirt cookies.

01:32:51.820 A basketball court, soccer field, and school

01:32:54.260 for hundreds of kids, and home to many.

01:32:57.760 I love it, it's a center of commerce for what?

01:33:00.060 Dirt cookies?

01:33:00.560 What an incredible and resourceful people,

01:33:04.900 they can bring so much to us.

01:33:06.520 There's a deeper meaning into it.

01:33:08.360 It's allegorical.

01:33:09.920 It's about devaluing the currency.

01:33:12.080 You have the gold standard,

01:33:13.400 and people left the gold standard,

01:33:14.960 and they're just printing money and devaluing the currency.

01:33:17.360 You're left with dirt.

01:33:18.900 Just, that's...

01:33:19.900 That's so much work.

01:33:20.980 That's a great analogy until they start eating the dirt.

01:33:23.400 Until you actually see the footage.

01:33:24.860 Yeah.

01:33:25.820 Also, they're right next to what looks like an open sewer.

01:33:28.960 Where are they getting the dirt? 0.94

01:33:30.760 Well, this is why you've got to buy the water.

01:33:32.960 On credit.

01:33:33.520 Yeah, this is the Dominican dirt. 1.00

01:33:35.180 Yeah, yeah.

01:33:36.220 They're getting that high-quality Dominican dirt. 1.00

01:33:38.380 They've got some terrible tariffs.

01:33:40.160 We're really going to have to jack the price up on this dirt.

01:33:42.900 Just, like...

01:33:43.880 Okay, so you spent four hours a day making dirt cookies.

01:33:47.100 You could have spent four hours a day tilling the soil.

01:33:49.440 Doing anything.

01:33:50.400 Like, you know, that labor could have been good for anything.

01:33:53.100 Good man, Samson.

01:33:54.380 You were like, I'm going to make dirt.

01:33:57.540 So, Samson, I was looking at Haiti the other day on Google Maps.

01:34:03.560 Yeah, it's further down.

01:34:04.620 There we go.

01:34:05.480 There you are.

01:34:06.480 There's not really much in the way of street view,

01:34:09.060 so you're just going to have to zoom in.

01:34:11.280 Use your imagination.

01:34:12.260 Don't even try it.

01:34:13.240 They're all rubbish.

01:34:14.120 They're all rubbish.

01:34:14.800 I want to say it.

01:34:15.300 I want to say it.

01:34:15.600 Try it.

01:34:16.140 Go on.

01:34:16.480 Well, the ones...

01:34:18.300 You'll be disappointed, basically.

01:34:21.280 Doesn't look like many forests.

01:34:23.100 Oh, there you go.

01:34:24.200 Oh, it's London.

01:34:25.180 You can eat that.

01:34:28.280 Rocks.

01:34:29.080 You can eat that.

01:34:30.420 You can eat that, too.

01:34:31.420 Oh, my word.

01:34:32.280 Doesn't it look lovely?

01:34:33.340 What a blue sculpture.

01:34:33.940 Lovely.

01:34:34.420 Oh, okay.

01:34:35.360 Yeah, that could be worse.

01:34:36.740 That could be worse.

01:34:37.960 Giving different bricks and stuff to people.

01:34:39.840 The town itself looks shit, but the...

01:34:42.340 But, like, selling stuff, fine.

01:34:44.820 You know, like, even if it's...

01:34:46.500 This is the top one thing, then.

01:34:48.120 I will trade one dirt cookie for your... 0.99

01:34:50.460 Yeah, if you've got some money left over after you've bought your dirt.

01:34:53.860 You can sell them in Portland or something.

01:34:55.620 There, here we are.

01:34:56.460 There are lots of pictures.

01:34:57.680 What the...

01:34:58.520 Lots of pictures like this, where it's just a photograph, and you can wiggle it around.

01:35:03.040 He's been taken as he's fleeing from an angry mob looking to eat his carbs.

01:35:06.780 What you want to...

01:35:07.500 Oh, no, I was thinking of Liberia and Evergrande.

01:35:09.520 You don't care, take the nutrients.

01:35:10.760 Oh, okay, this looks nice.

01:35:12.460 Yeah, this looks nice.

01:35:13.700 How is it that, like...

01:35:15.520 This is for Europeans. 0.97

01:35:17.400 Yeah, yeah, but, like, how is it that...

01:35:19.420 I mean, there's obviously greenery around, right?

01:35:22.120 Mm-hmm.

01:35:22.780 So, like, surely nature's bounty would be provided on an island like this.

01:35:28.100 There's a place called Zombie there.

01:35:30.220 Where?

01:35:30.620 Take us to Zombie.

01:35:31.660 Savan Zombie. 0.86

01:35:33.080 Yep.

01:35:33.500 Oh, yeah.

01:35:33.940 That's also how the Haitians spell it as well.

01:35:36.240 Oh, God.

01:35:37.500 Oh, wait, they've got some trees.

01:35:38.360 They do have some trees.

01:35:39.900 Nobody's ever been there.

01:35:40.980 This could potentially be outdated.

01:35:42.880 Yeah, yeah, maybe.

01:35:43.540 Is that a river in between?

01:35:45.200 Oh, it's a garden.

01:35:46.280 It says garden.

01:35:47.700 Drop a street view down there.

01:35:49.280 See if we can drop the street view.

01:35:50.600 Let's see what...

01:35:50.920 You won't be able to.

01:35:52.160 Let's see what...

01:35:52.700 Oh.

01:35:53.340 Do you think the Google card's going to get brave Haiti? 0.52

01:35:57.520 There you go.

01:35:58.500 Oh, that looks pretty.

01:35:59.420 There must be animals.

01:36:00.720 There must be animals in the woods.

01:36:01.860 Somebody was brave enough to fly a drone over it.

01:36:04.460 There are favelas there.

01:36:05.520 There must be.

01:36:06.080 Look at that.

01:36:07.240 Yeah.

01:36:08.740 Are you implying they've voluntarily...

01:36:11.120 But again, look at the actual quality of the settlement that was there.

01:36:13.820 I think they're not trying hard enough.

01:36:16.800 Haiti needs to pull itself up by its boots. 1.00

01:36:18.600 Yeah.

01:36:19.140 Yeah.

01:36:20.540 Unironically, obviously true.

01:36:21.880 They've probably eaten all their bootstraps by now.

01:36:26.240 Oh.

01:36:27.360 Oh, okay.

01:36:29.260 They've been eating grass as well.

01:36:31.280 That's actually the...

01:36:32.080 I'd eat grass way before I'd eat mud.

01:36:36.160 That's their national football team's pitch there.

01:36:39.480 I thought you just meant the guy.

01:36:41.120 Yeah.

01:36:42.100 Just the one person.

01:36:43.020 I would definitely eat grass before I ate mud.

01:36:45.240 That's not even controversial, is it?

01:36:46.560 Yeah.

01:36:46.740 It's not controversial.

01:36:48.020 What about dogs?

01:36:49.860 Would you eat a dog before you ate mud?

01:36:51.660 Yeah.

01:36:53.240 No.

01:36:53.740 Come on.

01:36:54.100 I may well have done just now.

01:36:55.440 I mean...

01:36:55.780 He fed me horse.

01:36:58.720 I didn't expect to eat that.

01:37:00.000 I didn't really want to eat horse.

01:37:05.540 Okay.

01:37:05.920 Well, if you kick your ball over the fence, that's never coming back.

01:37:08.380 Your neighbours aren't going to give it back.

01:37:09.680 Someone's going to eat it.

01:37:10.440 You'll get it back and all the leather would have been eaten off of it.

01:37:12.400 Yeah.

01:37:12.440 I would just make a new one out of mud.

01:37:18.820 Oh, okay.

01:37:19.560 There's nothing to eat in there, isn't there?

01:37:20.500 It's a hotel.

01:37:21.220 Okay.

01:37:21.660 Even there, there's milling.

01:37:23.420 He's having a nap.

01:37:24.800 Leave him alone.

01:37:25.780 I just refuse to...

01:37:27.100 The one white guy.

01:37:28.640 There's a people who's just not capable of even the most barest subsistence agriculture.

01:37:34.980 I mean, they can maintain a hotel by the looks of it there.

01:37:38.140 Well, I imagine that's probably where all of the NGOs stay.

01:37:42.620 Hang on.

01:37:43.120 Go back.

01:37:43.600 Go back.

01:37:43.820 I want to see the north of the island.

01:37:47.020 Right.

01:37:47.620 Does it mean that looks...

01:37:48.420 Wait.

01:37:48.820 Tortuga?

01:37:50.360 Tortuga.

01:37:51.300 Oh, my goodness.

01:37:52.720 I know where I'm going on holiday.

01:37:53.880 I mean, they must get, like, coconuts.

01:38:00.340 I mean, it looks pretty.

01:38:01.400 Yeah.

01:38:01.700 The buildings don't, but the actual landscape looks pretty.

01:38:04.260 That woman's bouncing a bag of dirt on her head. 1.00

01:38:06.020 Can we go back and sit?

01:38:08.860 I've got a jar.

01:38:09.620 I've got a jar.

01:38:12.400 Is that just a hat?

01:38:20.740 Take us to Tortuga, Samson.

01:38:22.620 Is that a separate country?

01:38:27.140 It's like where Jack Sparrow went.

01:38:29.060 Yeah.

01:38:29.380 That's right.

01:38:29.960 It's in Pirates of the Caribbean.

01:38:30.960 Oh, right, right, right.

01:38:33.240 It's almost like it's in the Caribbean and it was a pirate haven in history.

01:38:37.460 I don't know what you could be talking about, Josh.

01:38:40.280 Yar.

01:38:42.440 That looks nice.

01:38:43.460 Yeah.

01:38:43.660 I've just consumed an ungodly amount of salt.

01:38:49.440 Oh.

01:38:50.740 Man, I just.

01:38:52.300 I hope everybody watching is really thrilled by this.

01:38:55.100 Yeah, the audio listeners are absolutely riveted by this.

01:38:58.720 Listen, right.

01:38:59.320 All I'm saying is everyone was complaining about Swindon until right now.

01:39:02.700 No, it looks similar.

01:39:03.400 Swindon's suddenly not that bad.

01:39:04.480 The alternative is Swindon or Haighton.

01:39:06.600 Yeah.

01:39:07.380 To be fair, I've seen more human excrement today in Swindon than I have in Haiti. 1.00

01:39:11.720 Or Freddie.

01:39:12.060 You've never lived in Haiti.

01:39:14.740 Well, looking at the palm trees and the nice ocean, I'm kind of regretting it.

01:39:17.820 Should we do the game that they play, that I've seen them play with this as well, where

01:39:20.560 you go to India and you try and drop him anywhere.

01:39:23.060 And if there's no rubbish, then you win a prize.

01:39:26.960 Yeah.

01:39:28.180 We've got too many super chats, haven't we?

01:39:29.920 Yeah.

01:39:30.300 Yeah, we do have a lot of super chats.

01:39:31.820 Well, I've read up to a bunch of them.

01:39:35.940 Wait, actually.

01:39:37.260 Ramshackle Otter. 0.70

01:39:38.440 My mum, 70, calls you that program with the dishy men.

01:39:41.500 She loves you all.

01:39:42.200 Oh, that's kind.

01:39:43.020 What does dishy mean?

01:39:44.280 It means good looking.

01:39:45.240 Okay.

01:39:46.000 Well, thank you.

01:39:46.620 MacLeod says, do you plan on open sourcing the Lotuses app?

01:39:49.940 No.

01:39:50.940 I don't know what that means.

01:39:52.880 Sharing the code.

01:39:54.100 Yeah.

01:39:55.600 The code is available for anybody to play with.

01:39:58.640 Not to mess up with the app, but just to see what it's like.

01:40:02.080 That's a random name.

01:40:02.940 Says, for the record, the Haitians speak Creole, which sounds like the most stereotypical

01:40:07.820 Africanization of French.

01:40:09.040 If you don't understand French, you can't appreciate how backwards the language sounds. 0.61

01:40:12.260 Oh, we can, because we've got Pigeon English.

01:40:14.680 We know exactly what you're talking about.

01:40:17.640 I'll say, know a decent amount of French.

01:40:19.480 I actually want to see a little bit more of you.

01:40:21.240 Yeah, it's gold.

01:40:21.920 To get to the basketball court, which acts as a preparation area for the dirt cookies,

01:40:26.920 you have to cross this open sewer, which is littered with animal parts and trash and other

01:40:31.520 nasty things, to get to an area where the cookies are laid out to dry out in the sun.

01:40:36.860 You can see that these are still very wet, not quite ready to be served.

01:40:40.860 But this is literally dirt being prepared for humans to eat on top of other dirt and filth.

01:40:49.080 Celine Denis' life revolves around the cookies.

01:40:52.020 For days we watched as the grandmother sat mixing the dirt cookie batter.

01:40:56.600 Selling the cookies is Denis' sole source of income and often her only food.

01:41:01.080 It's a necessary evil.

01:41:05.060 I'm in a bad situation, and that's why I make them.

01:41:08.280 It hurts my heart, but I have no choice.

01:41:10.740 We're forced to eat it.

01:41:12.100 It makes us sick, but not the way it would to anybody who's not used to eating it.

01:41:16.600 Our system is kind of used to it.

01:41:19.080 The dirt is trucked into this huge slum and sold at an enormous markup to the women, 1.00

01:41:24.240 who pay about $5 a sack.

01:41:26.960 They say it comes from...

01:41:28.360 Okay, I'm getting in the export business.

01:41:30.360 Yeah.

01:41:31.080 But, okay, so I'm watching this.

01:41:33.720 I'm not right.

01:41:36.020 Is sovereignty a universal good?

01:41:39.180 Because the best thing that would happen to Haiti is literally an American invasion, 1.00

01:41:44.220 and they start building McDonald's.

01:41:45.900 Start building stuff.

01:41:47.660 The Americans come in, administer the island, and just, you know, 0.86

01:41:50.900 suddenly you're not eating dirt cookies, you're eating whatever's in a McDonald's.

01:41:54.480 Just let a corporation take it over. 0.77

01:41:55.680 Yeah, but the American regime thinks that this existing is a good thing

01:41:59.540 and would like it to come to your neighborhood.

01:42:01.160 I don't know.

01:42:01.560 If we were the British deciding to go and do that to Haiti,

01:42:07.880 say we go over and we decide we're going to build a load of wimpies for you. 1.00

01:42:10.480 Or how can a global elite exploit this?

01:42:12.820 America would go to war with us to stop us from building wimpies on Haiti. 0.99

01:42:16.940 They're only doing this because they're in Haiti.

01:42:19.260 They think if they just took them out of Haiti and brought them to America, 0.84

01:42:22.400 they wouldn't do this.

01:42:23.480 Sure.

01:42:24.140 But let's take America to that.

01:42:25.560 Ran out of cats.

01:42:26.940 A bit of just, you know, commercial imperialism,

01:42:29.600 where we just say, look, we're just, you don't have a government at the moment,

01:42:33.020 so here's a governor.

01:42:34.080 I mean, yeah, old-fashioned British imperialism.

01:42:36.560 And we're just going to make sure that you've got food

01:42:38.960 and the sewers are closed.

01:42:41.680 We shouldn't be living in the McWorld right now.

01:42:43.540 We should be living in the wimpy world.

01:42:45.060 Yeah, we should.

01:42:45.700 That is correct.

01:42:47.340 But, like, it seems like it would just be a genuinely humanitarian thing to do to these people.

01:42:52.160 Oh, just let's free Bentos take over Haiti. 0.99

01:42:55.540 But this is the most...

01:42:56.520 Don't it be a bad thing?

01:42:58.340 Would it be bad for them?

01:42:59.460 No.

01:42:59.980 I willingly eat Frey Bentos.

01:43:02.660 Bloody...

01:43:03.620 Hang on a minute.

01:43:04.060 I'm questioning everyone's anti-globalist credentials here.

01:43:07.380 The most anti-globalist country in the world here, you know...

01:43:11.560 Eat dirt cookies.

01:43:12.400 Is Bill Gates really making any money off of Haiti?

01:43:14.680 Hang on.

01:43:14.700 I'm not anti-globalist on principle.

01:43:16.220 I'd love it if Britain would run everything again.

01:43:18.080 It's not only run by other countries.

01:43:19.820 Somebody's making a lot of money when they send billions in foreign aid to that country.

01:43:24.260 And it's not any of them.

01:43:26.120 Just what are they going to be like?

01:43:27.480 They're going to be like, oh, no, we don't want to be occupied and given infrastructure and food.

01:43:32.700 Yeah, they were like that, actually.

01:43:34.060 Because that was the entire Haitian Revolution. 0.61

01:43:36.460 No, no, no.

01:43:36.920 That was...

01:43:37.240 I mean, they were...

01:43:38.160 I was going to say, they were enslaved at that point.

01:43:40.660 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:41.360 So, like...

01:43:42.020 They're much better off.

01:43:43.160 Yeah.

01:43:43.660 Yeah, I'm not saying slavery's right.

01:43:45.100 But then they immediately got rid of all of the infrastructure.

01:43:48.360 Yeah, which is...

01:43:49.600 But the thing is...

01:43:50.320 Yeah, but they wrote a constitution, so it was all going to turn out fine, right?

01:43:53.500 200 years later, these people were like, look, I'm not actually a big fan of the Haitian Revolution

01:43:57.060 because I'm really sick of getting sick from the dirt cookies.

01:44:00.100 There's only so many Frenchmen I can eat before I get hungry again. 1.00

01:44:03.680 I mean, it just seems like it would be a good thing to take over the country just for them. 1.00

01:44:07.920 The paternalistic British imperialist in me is like, oh, we can't...

01:44:11.560 Again, though, American imperialism is built on anti-colonialism, so you're not allowed to do anything like that.

01:44:18.820 Good point.

01:44:19.360 They should suffer the consequences of their own actions, I think.

01:44:22.400 Yeah, but these guys didn't do it.

01:44:23.860 That was hundreds of years ago.

01:44:25.260 But they would do it again, I reckon.

01:44:27.700 I don't know.

01:44:28.340 I think that with enough generations being raised on dirt cookies, you definitely have the energy.

01:44:34.060 Did you not see all of the looting and stealing when they tried to bring in the aid trucks after the earthquake?

01:44:39.560 Yeah, there was a lot of that.

01:44:40.660 ...from an area in the mountains and are convinced the dirt is rich in minerals and vitamins.

01:44:46.000 And if they don't have the money, they're happy, indeed eager, to buy the dirt on credit.

01:44:52.280 If it rains or the sun is blocked, the cookies can't dry out,

01:44:56.160 and women actually end up owing money on the dirt they've purchased. 1.00

01:45:00.580 Not a drop of batter is wasted.

01:45:02.460 And throughout Haiti, the cookies are seen in urban markets and small mountain villages.

01:45:07.260 We rarely saw adults eating the cookies, as many seemed ashamed.

01:45:11.840 Kids, however, asked repeatedly why we were so interested before freely eating them.

01:45:17.720 The UN's humanitarian coordinator in Haiti says the need for dirt cookies is an indictment of government failure and waste.

01:45:25.480 The 5 cent cookies are a necessity in Haiti. Imported food too expensive for families living on about a dollar a day.

01:45:32.480 Don't the UN send them all the money?

01:45:35.480 The UN suddenly gets very libertarian about it.

01:45:38.480 Oh, this is a government failure.

01:45:40.820 Oh, there's a lot of failures.

01:45:42.620 Like, come on.

01:45:44.680 There's a lot of failures, yeah.

01:45:46.440 From ground upwards all the way to...

01:45:48.720 This is one of the...

01:45:49.540 Ground upwards, aha.

01:45:50.780 Yeah.

01:45:51.200 This is one of the examples where I wouldn't blame the government, to be honest.

01:45:54.700 There you go.

01:45:55.380 Well, I would...

01:45:56.180 Obviously, this is going to...

01:45:57.360 Like, if you're in charge of Haiti, right, you're made dictator of Haiti.

01:46:00.340 So you become the new voodoo doctor of Haiti. 0.99

01:46:02.100 Like, you're like, okay, look, right, the spirits are telling me that what we're going to do is take the profits from the dirt cookies, invest in wheat, right?

01:46:12.040 We're going to invest in wheat.

01:46:12.680 So you're going to tax the dirt cookies?

01:46:14.200 Because I imagine there isn't the infrastructure to collect the tax.

01:46:17.540 I'm not going to tax it.

01:46:18.800 I'm going to take it.

01:46:20.120 I'm the voodoo dictator of Haiti, right? 1.00

01:46:22.800 And I'd be like, the spirits, if you complain, they're going to come and get you.

01:46:25.600 So get back in your fucking shack or whatever you do. 0.91

01:46:27.440 And then what we're going to do is we're just going to till rows in the soil, plant it, and we're going to wait.

01:46:35.020 Three months, we'll eat bread like kings.

01:46:37.200 I feel like they're waiting a lot.

01:46:37.500 You know they're going to go through the dirt and pick out the seeds and eat them.

01:46:41.880 Well, like sparrows.

01:46:43.840 Relating to this, that's a random name for a dollar.

01:46:46.640 It said, I live near the Haitian neighborhood in Montreal.

01:46:49.860 Interesting that you would have one there.

01:46:51.580 A lot of Haitians here are actually very normal and civilized.

01:46:54.480 I feel like their elite left generations ago and left the low IQ plebs to themselves. 1.00

01:46:58.580 That and also there's been quite a few massacres in Haiti over the years where they've just taken anybody who's smart or going to achieve anything and murdered them. 0.98

01:47:08.380 No doubt.

01:47:09.300 I just can't get over this.

01:47:15.460 Again, it's really bringing out the paternalistic British imperialist in me.

01:47:19.460 It's like, no, we can't allow that.

01:47:21.240 Happy 1,000 episodes.

01:47:22.940 We have to take over Haiti. 0.99

01:47:25.940 Look what the French have done to them. 1.00

01:47:27.980 The next 1,000 episodes are going to be our preparation for taking Haiti.

01:47:31.740 Our ex-colonies are becoming superpowers.

01:47:33.340 There are worse things to eat than dirt.

01:47:36.940 Name five.

01:47:38.640 I don't know, I've done a segment.

01:47:39.980 I see Sam going over on the chat saying I've scarred him.

01:47:44.080 There can't be many worse things to eat than dirt.

01:47:45.820 Stelios, you've made a very big claim there.

01:47:49.200 Yeah.

01:47:49.420 Name five things worse than we can do.

01:47:51.820 I can name one thing.

01:47:52.540 Three things.

01:47:53.260 I can name one thing.

01:47:54.800 Oh, right.

01:47:55.140 Three things that aren't actually poison.

01:47:58.600 Well, I can do.

01:47:59.880 I pass.

01:48:01.560 You were just going to say anthrax, cyanide.

01:48:05.260 And Russian garbage humans video comment. 0.97

01:48:07.440 Yeah.

01:48:08.120 Yeah, they're poisons though.

01:48:09.400 No, because I mean, yeah.

01:48:10.400 I see people on the chat saying how I've scarred them with a segment I did about a Spanish leftist.

01:48:17.460 Oh, no, not that one.

01:48:18.900 Yeah, so you were there.

01:48:20.960 The one who ate shit.

01:48:22.120 I can't remember.

01:48:22.620 About a Spanish leftist who was eating his own output.

01:48:25.020 When Peter Boghossian was defending.

01:48:26.000 Output.

01:48:27.620 Yeah.

01:48:28.120 Peter Boghossian was genuinely like,

01:48:29.440 Shitlib confirmed.

01:48:30.300 What this shit-eating politician does in the privacy of his own bedroom slash filming it is...

01:48:35.040 I mean, because this guy is going to kiss someone afterwards.

01:48:38.320 I'm not...

01:48:38.640 That's not my concern, Stelios.

01:48:41.000 That is mad.

01:48:42.000 Anyway, I think what we'll do though is call it into it there because Haiti is just depressing.

01:48:47.900 Again, I think the morally responsible thing to do is just take it over, right?

01:48:52.400 Unironically.

01:48:53.880 It's irresponsible for us to let them live this way.

01:48:57.460 Anyway, thank you for everything, folks.

01:48:59.640 Thanks for joining us on this very strange journey that we're on.

01:49:02.560 And thanks for supporting us so we can pay for everything.

01:49:04.340 And thanks for just hanging out.

01:49:06.920 This has been great fun.

01:49:08.120 We will be back on Monday.

01:49:10.920 So have a wonderful weekend and we'll see you then.

01:49:13.980 Good night.

01:49:15.800 We'll see you then.

01:49:16.860 Bye.

01:49:17.920 Bye.

01:49:18.300 Bye.

01:49:19.540 Bye.

01:49:23.180 Bye.

01:49:25.880 Bye.

01:49:26.420 Bye.

01:49:28.440 Bye.

01:49:29.120 Bye.

01:49:29.860 Bye.

01:49:30.000 Bye.

01:49:30.220 Bye.

01:49:33.240 Bye.

01:49:33.620 Bye.

01:49:33.640 Bye.

01:49:35.100 Bye.

01:49:35.760 Bye.

01:49:36.460 Bye.

01:49:36.660 Bye.

01:49:37.600 Bye.

01:49:37.760 Bye.

01:49:38.240 Bye.

01:49:38.620 Bye.

01:49:39.060 Bye.

01:49:40.080 Bye.

01:49:40.660 Bye.

01:49:41.180 Bye.

01:49:41.580 Bye.

01:49:42.180 Bye.

01:49:42.440 Bye.

FREMIUM： Lads Hour ｜ Episode 1000 celebration

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