The Crisis of Meaning | Interview with Mark Walsh
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 12 minutes
Harmful content
Misogyny
5
sentences flagged
Toxicity
41
sentences flagged
Hate speech
33
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode, I am joined by Mark Walsh, who is passionate about making a difference in the world through his work in the field of mental health. He has been on a journey through martial arts, psychology and trauma, which has led him on a life long quest to find meaning in life. He is also passionate about motivating people who feel bad about themselves, about the system and about the world, about how they fit into the world. We talk about how to deal with this, and how to make a difference.
Transcript
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Hello, everyone. Welcome to this interview. I'm very pleased to be joined today by Mark Walsh.
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Pleasure to be here. You guys do great work, so it's a real honor.
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Thank you very much. And Mark, I do need your help, as I was saying a minute ago,
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because we are going to talk about meaning in life, but also how to motivate demoralized people.
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And as I was saying, it's very easy for people to get demoralized,
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especially when we're talking about bad news and when we're talking about the evils of this world.
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And frequently, if we don't talk about them, few people will talk about them if they end
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But there is also the other aspect, the aspect of motivating people who very frequently create
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a comfort zone of feeling bad about themselves, about the system, about the world, about how
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I think that you have a very distinctive approach in that there is also some, I'd say, a really
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positive energy coming from you and i really hope you can help us with a with a demoralization of
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young men and combating it so welcome to the load seat total pleasure and life is too terrible not
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to have a sense of humor you know i stared into the abyss in various war zones and my own family
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are all deeply mentally ill i love them they're great people but i grew up with some very unwell
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people you know my auntie was a schizophrenic my cousin was my hero and he killed himself
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and when I was a teenager and at the same time I think Kurt Cobain was my musical hero
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so I'm 13 years old multiple members of my family are clearly unwell psychologically my cousin my
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hero's killed himself and the world looked bad you know and I've spent the rest of my life going what
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do we do about that essentially I have crappy genetics for mental health and meaning so I've
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spent the rest of my life since 13 really trying to go what can I do that's positive that helps
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been on a journey through martial arts through psychology through trauma for all these different
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things i've done and it's often quite at the sharp end of things like starting a charity in ukraine
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around trauma you know some really horrific stuff horrific stories i know how bad life can be um i've
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just been in london for example which is absolute babylon there's someone in a stab vest on the train
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every time i live abroad and every time i come back to the country it seems to be worse my family
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and now telling me mark we love you but maybe stay living in slovenia and i get why you know
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i'm in london i'm actually i'm on the train i say to them why is the train gay and the guy goes what
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do you mean you know i mean like i mean they shafted me in the ass with the price but other
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than that what he meant what i meant was it was like tried colors all over the train i said well
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it cost me money you know this is really crazy prices as well in the uk it's crazy money and he
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didn't he didn't really have a reason for it he said i just it just is and we support pride i'm
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like well what's that got to do with me and little things like that right up to the serious things
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like i was just in a supermarket and the girl's in a cage and there's security tags on the meat
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and there's a security guard outside the supermarket and she doesn't i try and joke
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to her about it but she can't speak to me she doesn't speak english she can't communicate with
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me so there's a million things like that essentially i think we're in what i call it
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the psychological apocalypse so that mental health meaning has got so bad for so many people
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it's no longer viable yeah so if there's people watching this who are like i despair
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i get it like i really do and there are things we can do i want to say something about this and
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i essentially i want to confess in some respects i'm a bit guilty because i was
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i i was told by my father basically unless you have a heart problem you don't have a problem
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because he's a heart surgeon and his threshold for what me having a problem is was really high
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and I was kind of grown up with that mentality and also in Greece where I was educated there
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wasn't much conversation about mental illness it's just you focus on just being on your best
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behavior lots of things are demanded of you you try to do best if you don't do bad too bad for you
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and then when i started teaching at university here yeah i saw there was an influx of people
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who were saying that they have mental problems and mental diagnosis now i will say this i don't
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think you can convince me that all of it no was sincere i think to a very large extent that was
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insincere but i will say that for a long time i just couldn't understand the the thing for instance
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i'll just give you an example sure and that sounds bad it may reflect bad for me so i'd say
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healthy stoicism is okay it's not a bad thing okay for instance i'll give you an example we
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were told to teach seminars at university and we were told to not ask people yeah questions in the
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seminar because they had mental health issues yeah they had social anxiety they weren't like
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pedro pascal they weren't allowed to grow people but they were saying that you have social anxiety
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they have social anxiety due to mental health now you can't have an 80 percent percentage of the
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population with mental health can you okay so we live in the best of times and the worst of times
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to quote dickens the best of times is we have bread but man doesn't live off bread alone so we
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have electricity we have the internet you know i've got a flight here you know we have it's
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wonderful it's a great i'm on internet watching you know harvard lectures on philosophy it's
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fantastic you know i love love my life because that so materially we're really well off in
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materialism but what we've neglected is the emotional psychological and spiritual side of
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life so someone from the middle ages had terrible dentistry for example perhaps but they had
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community they had god they had all these things that we've lost that we could break them down
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it's four big ones um so that's why i say it's a psychological apocalypse but there is a
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complicating factor which is psychology is cancerously overrun by liberalism so most
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psychologists are coming from this woke materialist far left point of view which means they do not
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believe in personal responsibility they don't believe in boundaries and these things define
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psychological well-being they don't have say a healthy stoicism for example if we look at it
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philosophically uh they're in a cult of weakness and that's definitely not good for people so
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yes you know i i've been like afghanistan stuff right if you're talking about trauma
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it better fucking be real trauma it's not i couldn't get any oat milk from a latte
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in east london yeah there's real trauma yeah you know there's real trauma and there's not so it's
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like, come on, let's get real. And we do live in this meaning crisis, John Viveki calls it. We do
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live in this time where, because there's a lack of meaning, it's not really mental health, it's the
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lack of meaning that's causing people to be unwell. Yes. Right. So when it comes to talking about
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meaning, there's a problem that I think exists right now in online discourse, is that for a long
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time we have had people like jordan peterson and others who have been saying that there is a sort
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of you know lack of meaning and young men are trying to find it but the issue is that in online
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spaces trends come and go yes and the message lots of people right now say well we don't have
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we don't listen to peterson anymore some people will say he went to the daily wire and he forgot
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all of the good things that he said before and they think essentially that all of that is obsolete
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that the picture of peterson of personal responsibility of community or the picture
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of the traditional conservative way of finding meaning if i may say so yeah is a bit obsolete
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because they say things like well what has conservatism conserved right sure they've
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failed they've utterly failed and but they are essentially trying to do the opposite something
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really similar i'd say to what the left is doing yeah which is they're trying to over intellectualize
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everything and have a very rigidly top-down view of the world and where the left says well there
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is no personal responsibility it's all structures because of these structures you don't you don't
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have meaning and you will only find meaning in communism yes and now you have the lots of people
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on the right yeah uh further saying well because of the structure of the moment right now there is
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no way of giving meaning to your life in the traditional sense yeah unless i don't know what
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but because you live in such a society they sort of say is that this message of personal
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responsibility is tiring people have right heard many times and unfair if you say well you just
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pull your socks up it's on you um all right let's break it down first of all what a great situation
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to be in that peterson and the lotus eaters and other people have done so much good work
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that we're at a point now where that now you know peterson seems old-fashioned or whatever right
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like that's a great situation and you guys have done just stellar work in terms of bringing up
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people's thinking and identifying the problem and pointing at things and saying stop gaslighting
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people these problems exist that needed to happen so this has been very good um in terms of why
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anything happens first of all you need what you could call a sufficient anthropology so it's a
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sufficient view of human beings anthropology in the philosophical sense um the model i use
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is four things to try and keep it really simple often people left or right will say the structures
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and systems particularly leftist psychologists actually will say that that's a mistake because
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you are an individual and can take personal responsibility and change your life and build
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friendships and brotherhoods blah blah equally sometimes people on the right either adopt that
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and say oh it's all duma because the systems are bad or they say everything's the individual
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and it's kind of like imagine three games i'll come to the four things in a minute but imagine
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i don't know roulette poker chess so on the left they say it's roulette it's just all luck so if
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you're if you're in a position today i was here doing well it must just be the patriarchy and
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you've just been lucky okay and the right says that it's chess and actually everything's skill
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everything's not skill you know people are born with luckier parents we have different gifts we
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have different positions in society blah blah blah you know my dad was alcoholic not everyone
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had that okay there's things that are different for different people it's more like poker you do
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get dealt certain cards by history by the culture you're in by your family your genetics all those
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things like i'm short okay i'm not particularly tall and never will be but i can make up for it
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my personality on a good day if i'm lucky you know you play the hand you've got so i think it's more
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like poker so that's the first thing i'd say in terms of the balance in terms of philosopher ken
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wilber talks about quadrants he says we can explain behavior through these different areas
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and i think the left and right as a psychologist could be defined that way the what a therapist or
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coach or whoever says why a person does a thing is because of either these structures and systems
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or the individual the embodiment we could talk about sufficient anthropology to be happy healthy
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find meaning be mentally well i think you need four things so the first one is embodiment a lot
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of the discourse online is very disembodied it's people that are intellectuals the smart people
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maybe cognitively that's what i was like when i was young i was smart cognitively but i wasn't wise
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i think it wasn't in my body i didn't have wisdom you know i had to go to martial arts and find a
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certain physicality you can't find that in the library so intellectual ideas are great and you
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know i love geeking out with you on philosophy but they'll only get you so far we've actually
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got to do some praxis some physical praxis you know martial arts extreme sports you know yoga
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if you're a hippie there's different things yeah so you need to connect to the body you need to
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connect to community so it's great that the lotus eaters for example are having get-togethers just
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met a young man at the cafe who'd been to one of your get-togethers he loved it we've got to get
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together in real life like you know i go to a church now that is not just a set of ideas the
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church i go to is also a set of people you know we go to the pub on the monday night we have a
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guy's night you know there's a agape where you have cake and coffee and stuff after after the
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church you know my my fiance meets the other women and she's pregnant so they're helping her with the
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pregnancy like that is so important like to have community how do we do that in post-modern
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liberalism we can come back to because that's been smashed community's been absolutely smashed
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compared to someone say in greece or england in the middle ages third connection the environment
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you need to get outdoors touch grass that's what the kids say absolutely the kids are smart like
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the kids are getting it they know you've got to get to the gym they know you've got to pray and
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have a church they know you've got to have some brotherhood like they understand that and that's
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why the government's terrified of young men getting together because they understand that's
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where revolutions come from that's where power comes from is young men getting together you have
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a sense of you know physicality and spirituality that's the fourth connection so you need some
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sense of um like i'm 19 years sober we call it higher power if you go to an aa meeting some
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sense of god creator you know everyone's got their own word for it um meaning logos and it's
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different different approaches so it's self-regulation co-regulation eco-regulation
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and to make up a semi-Greek word, theoregulation.
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There's practical things you can do for all of those.
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We'll definitely touch upon and elaborate upon each of them.
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But before we do so, I really want to focus a bit
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on several of the issues you mentioned and ask you about that.
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Or parts of the audience, because I think various people are so demoralized that they will agree with you cognitively, but they won't feel the power to go out and do it.
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And I will say this, it's just people focus a lot on power, on what powers we have and what abilities we have, but don't focus on the exercise of power.
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You could have people, for instance, there's the tiresome inequality discourse.
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Even if we had equal abilities, we would not be exercising them equally.
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So I think the audience or part of the audience, you do have the power to get out.
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i also have some friends in mind yeah because they are people who i'm some occasional i'm really
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worried about and i want to ask you this about it how do we understand that someone is in trouble
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okay because well and let me just contextualize this because i tell them i try to tell them
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somehow to do something uh and they just don't listen and i'm worried about them because some
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of them they're just uh sat there and they just don't leave at home you you do sense that there
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is a they don't even get angry anymore at their situation you sound like a good friend you sound
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like a good friend they're lucky to have you but the thing is though i will say this is just i have
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also been in the past in situations where uh several people have tried to tell me that if
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you stop associating with me or stop hanging out with me i will commit suicide okay so yeah and
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it's different in some cases at some point i understood that no they're actually trying to
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manipulate sure sure so i said i don't care what happens to you yeah yeah yeah okay so it sounds a
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bit callous but no no it really was something and you know you could see they were just stealing
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stuff afterwards yeah yeah also if they drink sometimes again they they start talking and they
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tell you how nasty they are yeah yeah how do we on how do we discern between the person that who's
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who wants help act and actually wants help and the person who says hey uh i really want your help
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that actually wants to blackmail all right great question um i've lost multiple people in my life
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to suicide so i don't take this lightly you know my best friend from university jumped off clifton
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suspension bridge in bristol you know it still hurts me today to think about it it really
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harms the people left behind and it's a very delicate topic that's the first thing i'd say
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i'm going to come to a specific question but i want to kind of pan out i think young men are
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rightly understanding they're mourning they're not mourning they know intuitively they've lost
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something their culture has been absolutely violated uh without consent their culture's
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been absolutely desecrated would be a good word and so there there's a genuine grief there that
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needs acknowledging and you guys have done great work of pointing to the problems and and if we
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just focus on the problems it's depressing and it's very easy to get depressed on the internet
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or angry the key thing to understand is our mental health is being attacked continuously by a system
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that hates us so it's not accidental that young men have anxiety and depression and addiction all
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these different things they're being kept weak absolutely the case we can go into who and why
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and you know the ins and outs of it but that's the next thing i'd say is it's not just on them
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there is this bigger picture but even if something's not your fault it is your responsibility
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it is your responsibility and we are if you're religious you're actually commanded to not despair
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or anxiety do not fear this is the command of jesus the buddha many other people um so that's
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the first thing i'd say is we have a spiritual responsibility there now in terms of practically
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helping your friends um i think the best thing you can do is be a good role model so for me i have a
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niece and nephew for example i can tell them stuff they don't listen to what i say but i try and role
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model being healthy looking after myself having a good relationship spending time outside and
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you know i'm available if they want to do fun stuff and you know encourage my nephew to do
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martial arts or whatever it is the role modeling i think is always key in terms of our own friends
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at the end of the day you can't save everyone and we do have to be selective so if you think
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someone's just manipulating you there is a time and a place to hold boundaries around that for
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sure now how do we help people other than role modeling it's very difficult to tell anyone what
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to do i tend to take more of a coaching approach it's a bit more like socratic dialogue where you
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can ask questions and draw it out that can be helpful if somebody's a genuine suicide risk
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and for example if someone was telling me about very specific plans for suicide for example
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there's something called suicide first aid that people can look up um and that's even an untrained
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person who's not a psychologist can look up that uh you know obviously there's the helplines
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samaritans different things what i would say is what young men need for mental health is not what
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most woke psychologists or female therapists will be recommending so most psychologists are either
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feminine or female so i went to university in psychology 90 of people there were female and
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left leaning right as well so it's like feminine and female um usually what's recommended is you
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just have to talk about your feelings that's on the list it's not bad but it's not the most
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important thing like for me for example why i'm not mentally unwell now compared to how i was when
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i was a teenager it's because my life's good it's because i've built a good life it's like yes i've
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got those four connections so let's say you're depressed all right you're a bit down not
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clinically depressed but you're a bit down go outside exercise if you can't make it to the gym
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go for a little walk talk to your friends yes talk to a therapist if you want uh and most of all that
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connection to higher power those four reconnections if you can encourage people to do those
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they will get better and their lives will be happier now people in the comments are gonna say
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i did all those it didn't work for me and okay so there are levels maybe you go from awful to okay
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okay to good good to great right okay so i have two cases in mind yeah that i want to ask you
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about actually three first is when it comes to insults right and i don't use the word
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pejoratively sure i have a really good friend yeah who has absolutely no excuse of of uh being
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an insult because in the cell did you say yeah okay good because he had um a really uh i know
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with your wife for 12 years you were lucky
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and whatever you did and worked in your case um it just doesn't work in me so why go out women are
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radical their brains have been fried by radical feminism i go out they constantly talk about
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tech talk and all this stuff and they just are just gonna spare my money so how do i tell this
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person to go out yeah yeah yeah so he makes me think well you can't help people who don't want
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to be helped yes that is a uh i think that's a maxim but i don't want to think that about my
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i mean you're a great friend by the side of things but there's people you can help and people you
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can't yeah there's people that have but a little dust in their eye and there's people that have a
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whole plank yeah you know so this certainly i've learned this as a coach there is people who are
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uncoachable so there are some people that go okay let's say someone wants to get sober like i'm 19
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years sober right i'm uncoachable become ungovernable sometimes their life has to get bad
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enough sometimes they need to wake up cool sometimes they'll snap out of it maybe he goes
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on holiday to poland and meets up a whole lot of conservative polish women and changes his mind
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you know uh sometimes you can't help people and there are definitely people i know it's the same
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with my woke friends you know i've got friends who are liberal some of them are too far gone
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yeah you know some of them i think you know what i think he could probably hear my point of view
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even though he listens to a little bit too much mainstream media others i think you know what
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they're just indoctrinated like this i don't know a woke woman that's had five abortions or
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you know someone's trans their kids or something you're not going to be able to convince them
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they're too invested in it um so yeah well i love your intention i don't think you can help everyone
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there's no one magic bullet and i think we are living uh in a time of this meeting crisis doesn't
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mean a lot of people who are despairing the message i would say to young guys is okay despair means
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you're uh neutered you're impotent if you're despairing we don't have the luxury of despair
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yeah this work that needs to be done in the world i was just in london i was looking around and i
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was seeing sort of a lot of drug addict guys in england now a lot like way more drug addicts than
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i remember when i lived here uh okay that's not acceptable i see a lot of people who are obese
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like some fucking their disney adult kind of you know on their scooters and stuff a lot of people
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who are like suckling on their little vapes smoking weed in the morning all day long i mean
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i get it you want to relax on a friday night or whatever but uh-uh it's late in the day we we need
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actual men who are strong who can do things you don't have the fucking luxury of despair anymore
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like that time is over right okay i will push you a bit on this not because i disagree with you but
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because i want to try and convey the doomerous sentiment that some people have it's just they'll
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tell you well yeah there's lots of work to be done in the world but the world is already bad
00:24:13.200
the world doesn't want me to help it no the world is already too far gone and whatever i do in the
00:24:19.620
present conditions it just won't help yeah so plant a tree even if the world ends tomorrow
00:24:25.200
number one uh number two you'll feel better for doing it like if i lift just something simple i
00:24:30.000
push away i'm changing the world i'm moving this from a to b afterwards i'm in an empowered state
00:24:35.340
i feel good my hormones are going to change your will to the world yeah that's very niche in a way
00:24:40.240
Like, you know, when I go to the gym, yeah, I'm doing it for my physical health, but I'm doing it for my mental health.
00:24:48.200
And, you know, I come out of there feeling more potent, more capable, more attractive to my fiance.
00:24:56.520
Like, you know, I'm in a deload week this week, and I'm missing it.
00:24:59.700
You know, I'm really missing it this week to work out.
00:25:02.340
You can see I'm not the fittest guy, but that's from a mental health point of view, it's fantastic.
00:25:08.560
You know, there's an embodiment of a philosophy in doing martial arts or lifting weights, for example.
00:25:14.920
Yeah, so that's the first thing I'd say is also, who are you going to be around, right?
00:25:19.740
Like, I want to be around the people who are trying to do something.
00:25:23.060
Now, I don't know the guys here at Lotus Ears, right?
00:25:25.280
But I can guarantee if I asked anyone in their office to come for dinner, I think they'd be a cool, interesting guy.
00:25:31.820
They're doing something important in the world.
00:25:33.740
now even if they wake up and go oh there's no point it's all depressing and we're just pissing
00:25:38.280
in the wind like look of what you guys have achieved like just this little studio i won't
00:25:43.960
say too much you know too many details but this little studio you've achieved so much and it's
00:25:48.660
like you know i started off with one guy he said you know what i've had enough was it carl just
00:25:53.040
wanted to play computer games i think originally and it's like he said no bollocks enough's enough
00:25:57.260
um so big things can grow you can you can do things and worst case scenario you make some
00:26:03.400
really cool friends you know maybe you don't put the ring back into mount doom but you know it's
00:26:08.900
the uh it's the friends you make along the way it's the cliche but that's true like the stuff
00:26:13.860
in my projects i've done in my life some of them made me money some of them didn't some of them
00:26:18.600
did great things some of them didn't but always like if i think of who's coming to my weddings
00:26:22.940
people from all these different countries that i've connected with through these projects and
00:26:27.220
i don't know i'd rather wake up in the morning and feel like i'm gonna do my bit and the other
00:26:32.900
thing i'd say is i have hope like the two young guys i just met in the cafe well i was just before
00:26:36.940
i met you the kids are all right there's a lot of young guys doing cool stuff you know reading
00:26:42.040
nature reading bap this guy was telling me and he didn't look like a right way guy this is just a
00:26:46.380
guy at the cost of coffee uh so i see young guys doing good stuff the culture's already turned
00:26:51.360
like we live in material modernity and it hasn't worked it's clearly failed everyone knows it's
00:27:00.120
failed like people can see it hasn't worked it's led to hell it's led to physically great yes but
00:27:06.560
psycho-spiritual hell and because of that everyone's looking for something else so personally
00:27:11.620
for me i've got despite the dark clearly babylon london i've just been in with all its problems
00:27:18.420
despite that i have lots of hope same i i do think that was my my impression when i was teaching
00:27:27.040
i think mostly most young young people are are all right but where does reality and demoralization
00:27:37.300
come apart because yeah in one respect us in news have to talk about bad things sure because people
00:27:45.680
have to find out about bad things yeah in order for them to not get worse i mean i i watch you
00:27:54.480
guys every week but i can't watch you every day yeah because it just depresses me too much yes i
00:27:58.420
want to know what's going on i trust you guys as a source you're my main source of news you know
00:28:02.920
and uh my fiance is like is that carl again you know she can hear his voice on my phone in the
00:28:07.660
morning but it's um i can't watch the news every day right okay so i'll give you an example yeah
00:28:13.680
i really follow one of your suggestions of going out doors yeah every weekend i try to travel
00:28:20.980
yeah and uh if not every both saturday and sunday at least one day you're climbing mountains this
00:28:27.440
weekend right yeah did you feel depressed on top of a mountain looking down on god's creation
00:28:31.420
no of course not no it's almost impossible to feel depressed on top of a mountain
00:28:35.320
yeah no you're you're correct so i did i went to i went to wales as i was saying i went to i did
00:28:41.460
the four falls trail in the waterfalls in in brecon beacons i did uh three hour tracking under
00:28:49.240
the rain and really good for me there was no signal reception i kid you not i was about a day
00:28:57.640
um off social media yeah and i felt like it was a two-week break it's a relief huh yes it's
00:29:06.440
absolute poison yeah i mean i'm i'm on instagram because from my work basically right i do workshops
00:29:12.120
on meaning meaning alive and then i do a lot of advertising marketing on instagram i post and i
00:29:16.840
get the hell off the app yeah because it's like walking into a bad neighborhood to get something
00:29:20.660
i need but that's what i want to say here is that i post pictures every now and then because i want
00:29:25.800
to share with the audience good pictures and i want to tell people it's just it's important to
00:29:32.180
bear in mind that good things exist yeah they should go outdoors it's going to be good for them
00:29:38.240
and you know just look at the beautiful places you can go right and throughout the entire country
00:29:43.720
um there are in the few good places there are many good places britain's for i mean where i
00:29:49.120
live slovenia is fantastic but britain's good man i lived in brighton god help me live in there but
00:29:53.840
you know there you're not so far away from the south downs you know you've got the lake i grew
00:29:57.240
up walking around the lake district the peak district wales is fantastic corbel devon there's
00:30:02.440
so many places so i will pose these pictures and i will always have uh people saying well yeah but
00:30:08.940
there were many tourists there or uh imagine there that there is a mosque there or you know
00:30:16.500
why are you why are you showing which cameras on which cameras on but look you got you doomers
0.60
00:30:21.940
depressing this poor greek man he's from a sunny country with his nice food and hot brunettes
00:30:27.180
and you're leaving your duma comments depressing the poor bloke unbelievable i mean no to be honest
00:30:33.460
i'm not depressed i'm just saying people go out travel yeah i have a list of places get outside
00:30:39.700
i'm outside three hours a day so all my business calls are on the phone not on zoom i walk up and
00:30:46.060
down the river in the town i live in every day and the trees i mean i happen to live in a nice
00:30:49.320
place that's deliberate for me actually you know brighton i used to walk around the park in brian
00:30:52.500
or on the seafront um if i coach people for a living were you in the gay or the lesbian district
00:30:58.580
I wasn't no um I did accidentally book my mum into a to a gay um hotel while she was visiting
00:31:04.700
one day was that camp town she was in camp town she said two lovely men are running places I said
0.97
00:31:09.300
mum where are you staying I'll put you in but I don't remember then she goes oh boys then it's
00:31:12.380
called b-o-y-z-d-e-m uh no so it was a fun place to live but um there's always somewhere you can
00:31:17.780
go that's a bit nicer get a bit of nature we call it eco-regulating and um for me for example I
00:31:23.540
charge more money if someone wants zoom calls and not a phone call because I want to be outside
00:31:27.700
I want to be sitting in the Botanic Gardens or sitting on a bench by the river.
00:31:33.380
I've got like a favorite heron where I live, you know,
00:31:35.980
like there's wild fowl and birds and forests, and I'm very lucky.
00:31:39.600
But I've also designed my life that way, you know.
00:31:42.800
So how do we get young men and young women who watch us
00:31:57.700
i'm not saying i'm not saying you're not living i'm trying to i'm trying to get you to live
00:32:02.660
we're so it's such this is such boomer dad advice isn't it as well we're like
00:32:06.240
the uncle is go outside kids um look they know it i think the younger the really young kids the
00:32:12.120
younger generation they get the internet is toxic actually i think it's maybe the millennials that
00:32:17.700
and some of us gen x who maybe don't get it like the young young ones they understand that it's
00:32:21.920
okay so i i think there's a problem here i know lots of old people yeah boomers plus yeah who
00:32:29.680
know that the tv is toxic right they still watch it they still watch it so i'll give you an example
00:32:34.720
my grandmother she passed away a few years ago when she was 96 she hated a center-left
00:32:43.300
channel in greece and she was only watching that i tell you i was asking grandma why are you
00:32:50.640
watching this channel you say you hate it yeah she she was telling me i want to see if they have
00:32:57.160
any sense of shame wow ever and her verdict was always that they're shameless but but she was she
00:33:03.880
knew how bad it was yeah cognitive knowing is not enough though is it yeah she knew how and also i'll
00:33:10.100
just it's it's not that hard because legacy media are in that aren't endless right right right there
00:33:17.140
are you know four five six big channels and the algorithms do watch them yes plus the algorithm
00:33:22.880
so the the idea that the young generation knows that online spaces are do have the potential of
00:33:31.640
toxicity doesn't mean that they are going to go offline yeah yeah um they are going offline a
00:33:38.100
little bit more looking at the data so that's the first thing the younger ones there's a skepticism
00:33:42.120
towards it um so i think people are learning the other thing i'd say is if your life's good enough
00:33:46.540
when you make your life good enough you don't want to reach for your phone so i noticed this
00:33:51.000
like if i'm in church in a great service with people i love i don't want to reach for my phone
00:33:55.520
uh if i'm outside in nature having a nice time i don't feel like it if even if i'm in the pub
00:33:59.740
talking to some good friends having a good night bantering swearing saying you know whatever i
00:34:04.400
don't feel like looking at my phone so that's the other thing is you do have to replace it with
00:34:08.180
something um i said the more you get in your body the more you co-regulate the more you eco-regulate
00:34:13.700
the more you have some kind of higher power that you can connect to those four things if you keep
00:34:17.820
doing those four things the phone stops being so appealing the other thing i would say is let's cut
00:34:23.680
people some slack like this is the most addictive technology has ever been invented yeah this thing
0.96
00:34:30.980
like this is a gateway to hell there are i'll give a fun example there are more titties on this phone
0.97
00:34:38.040
than all of my ancestors have ever seen combined like i do not watch porn it doesn't sound
0.98
00:34:43.740
particularly bad it does it doesn't does it and that's how they get you because it doesn't sound
00:34:48.660
bad so you have to have canon appreciators you have to cut me some slack here liberal modernity
00:34:54.720
says do what you want have fun and it pretends that's heaven yeah and actually it's hell okay
00:35:02.000
so just neurologically i don't know i interviewed anna lemke on my podcast who wrote dopamine
00:35:06.880
meet nation she looks at all the neuroscience of this you'll get addicted to that and it sounds
00:35:12.120
great i can look at naked girls but then it's like well of course you know if you're a young
00:35:15.640
guy that's very tempting i mean i grew up in the era of you know magazines only kind of thing so
0.58
00:35:20.920
i'm glad i got off any kind of stuff like that before ai porn or whatever people do now for me
00:35:26.760
it's um this is the most addictive technique social media porn some of the ai social stuff
00:35:32.460
that's coming in is going to be even worse this is crack right this is a serious addiction now
00:35:38.580
i think there's a lot of young guys who aren't going to overcome it despite i love that you
00:35:43.080
want them to i think there's a lot of young guys who are going to get hooked in this who are going
00:35:47.200
to be on the porn if not on the drugs you know the fentanyl whatever it is but they're going to
00:35:51.160
be stuck on the electronic version of that and they're not going to have a great life and they
00:35:56.200
they're going to be in hell but there's another group of young men who are going to have to be
0.77
00:36:01.460
saints they're gonna have to be buddhas there's in there's just a group of young men some of whom
00:36:06.080
my mentor or come to my workshops is think of a young guy who came to my training yesterday in
0.97
00:36:10.440
london he's on top of it he doesn't watch porn he doesn't do drugs he goes to the gym he prays
00:36:16.260
and i go wow what it's breeding this is like the ultimate moral willpower gym you know i have to
00:36:23.440
walk around all day with this thing in my pocket where i could you know see that if i wanted and
0.91
00:36:28.640
it's like wow that's actually building a uh a generation of fucking superheroes that's how i
0.87
00:36:35.520
look at it but yeah there's a whole lot of people who are going to be lost to that and they're going
0.96
00:36:38.780
to be in hell that's true all right so i want us to focus a bit on your model of human flourishing
00:36:45.700
yeah and let me let me add to what you said before you mentioned that technology and
00:37:22.120
that takes place and has some immediate consequences and then the clock stops it's always it's always
00:37:29.140
an action that brings forth some consequences a chain of consequences and you're building a muscle
00:37:34.760
and it reinforces habits yes yes this is what people forget so there are that's what i'm
00:37:42.600
troubled with is that there are people who will constantly use their mind against them
00:37:48.440
yeah they're in it and some of them want to be this way because they are they feel that this is
00:37:54.600
a comfort zone for them yeah they are from this is what's familiar to them they're familiar with
00:37:59.720
feeling bad about themselves it's comfortable it's comfortable and in in a weird sense right
00:38:05.560
not necessarily something that makes them feel good um it's something familiar familiar is not
00:38:11.620
the same as good right yeah i mean cross your arms you can try this at home cross them the other way
00:38:16.060
it'll feel weird it's not any better or worse it's with your fingers just try that it's like
00:38:20.580
one way feels normal one way feels weird it's just because you've done one way a lot for your
00:38:25.120
whole life you've crossed your arms a certain way you try it the other way it feels strange
00:38:28.620
so people do what's familiar not what's good for them we are creatures of habit there's a sort of
00:38:33.880
conservative in in one sense sense where we conserve energy attention by just doing what
00:38:39.220
we've always done i mean aristotle you know you're greek i don't have to tell you this the
00:38:43.080
i work with the greek and she always says we invented everything first and they normally
00:38:46.560
bloody did okay so aristotle's whole thing about you are what you practice you become you know
00:38:51.060
ontological approach you become what you practice that's true and this is my real expertise actually
00:38:56.320
i've spent my entire life studying this starting when i was 18 or 16 yoga and martial arts and
00:39:02.580
there's lots of different what's called embodied practices so yes you can think about something
00:39:08.080
you know read the book uh do stelios's virtue ethics course i did it i watched it twice it's
00:39:13.060
very good thank you very much sir i recognize this office actually from the course i was like
00:39:17.700
check that out when i go there anyway so the theory is good you need the theory because the
00:39:21.620
theory guides the praxis but the praxis builds the muscle that's what builds the habit you know
00:39:27.380
like i'm away from home right now my fiance is not here my socials i've been in a hotel in london
00:39:32.580
last night i'm glad i have the habit of not drinking not watching porn you know i have a
00:39:38.100
habit of getting out this morning i got up got up went trying to go to a church and there was loads
00:39:42.700
of drug addicts are outside it but it's like i mean the habit of i found a park to sort of in
00:39:46.860
even in london i found a little park to have a bit of nature i did my morning rosary prayer
00:39:51.180
meditation you know i mean the habit of it would feel weird for me to not pray in the morning now
00:39:55.580
it's just what i do when i wake up in the morning even when i'm traveling so um yeah if you can
00:40:00.440
build those habits that will change how you think so you're trying to talk to these depressed friends
00:40:05.540
or students or ever but their their whole thinking is coming up from their embodiment you know it's
00:40:10.640
like try being depressed while bench pressing you cannot do it you're in a different embodiment
00:40:15.620
right powerful mode okay so that's the first part of your four yeah the embodiment right okay
00:40:21.440
i want to ask you this about being present yes so you said that when you're trying to bench press
00:40:28.120
yeah you you don't feel depressed or something because you you're in the moment yeah yeah it's
00:40:32.540
enforced mindfulness right okay so really small parenthesis yeah i feel this way frequently also
00:40:38.580
with horror movies it's just with horror movies i'm always present you'll be present but you'll
00:40:42.940
be stimulated to be in an unpleasant state so it's different so you're present but that presence is
00:40:48.740
enforced by an external stimuli in both cases the trick is to build the skill of presence without
00:40:54.680
the crutch of the intense stimuli of a demon about to possess you or yeah so the intense stimuli
00:41:00.720
might be a scary movie it might be a hot girl it might be a intense bench press all of those are
00:41:06.220
external stimuli so they you know it calls the attention to mind right the skill you know this
00:41:11.840
is an interviewer is to be present when that's not happening right so yeah but so this is what
00:41:16.920
meditation or meditative prayer like if i'm doing a rosary i mean yeah there's a there's a various
00:41:22.420
aspects to that but one aspect of that is i'm just trying to stay present because i'm like how many
00:41:26.380
full of grace and then it'll be like oh what am i doing like i've got the interviewer still
00:41:28.980
i'm gonna come in you keep like that's the meditation it's like a mindfulness picture
00:41:32.740
you keep coming back to it for in orthodox christianity is the jesus prayer same principle
00:41:38.000
right so the first principle is embodiment yeah what do people miss about embodiment
00:41:43.560
especially when they're over intellectualizing things we don't do any because this is for instance
00:41:48.880
what my i have this friend i'm talking to you about with a yeah with who has an intense problem
00:41:57.400
with talking to women it's just he has this ideology in his mind according to which he is
00:42:05.140
the victim of the world and the system and blah blah blah and he will always think about this
00:42:11.460
yeah yeah yeah so i mean he's up in his head straight away right like how do we get someone
00:42:16.060
who lives in his own head to live in the real world yeah yeah i mean any embodied practice is
00:42:20.680
good so the first thing i'd say is for any young guy find something you love for me it was martial
00:42:26.320
arts for some yoga more hippie friends of mine do conscious dance for example there's a whole
00:42:31.740
range of things out there not you might some people like tai chi it's real slow personally
00:42:37.060
i can't stand stand i'd rather be lifting weights these days you know um some people like jujitsu
00:42:41.820
it's like anything that you enjoy that gets you in your body that's the first thing i'd say and
00:42:46.600
depending on you know old guys watching this they might need that general tai chi practice for young
00:42:50.600
guys something physical something competitive maybe jujitsu kickboxing whatever you know get
00:42:55.100
out there um and you might have to build it up like if you're scared to go into a thai boxing
00:42:59.640
gym start with aikido you know start something a bit more chill so there's be steven seagal
00:43:05.660
please don't please don't there's he's an embarrassment the aikido world but uh yeah
00:43:11.000
uh i've got stories about it but that's enough for another time uh what i would say is just
00:43:15.160
find something you love yeah so if you don't love the gym don't go to the gym find badminton
00:43:19.300
whatever find something you personally love golf a bit tame i'm sure i could bring myself to
00:43:26.240
recommend ruining a good walk that way but uh i mean anything's better nothing at least you're
00:43:30.340
outside at least you're moving i'd say it needs to be something that you enjoy that gets you in
00:43:34.440
your body if it's building a more rigorous masculine disposition even better right so
00:43:40.060
what's the second part of the second part of the co-regulation correct so we tend to think of it
0.96
00:43:46.580
like mental health comes from talking to a therapist once a week bullshit mental health
00:43:51.020
comes from being in a village so we i grew up in a literal village in the east of england for example
0.85
00:43:56.060
i'm accents change now but i grew up in a village where you knew your neighbors right you know it's
00:44:00.260
getting with all of them but you knew people i mean now i'm i live in a small town people
00:44:03.780
recognize me and i walk down the street say hello to people right so um co-regulation comes from
00:44:08.900
building community which has been destroyed by liberal material modernity right don't have the
00:44:15.980
village anymore it has been destroyed and it's hard work to build it right so lots of people
00:44:21.280
who are gonna watching us will be living in cities and they're gonna ask question how do i
00:44:26.940
regulate in cities yeah it's harder um i people may not even know their neighbor yeah we'll say
00:44:35.360
hello there may be a corpse upstairs and for us disintegrating that is the sad situation
00:44:41.220
four months without noticing so that's by the way that's from a movie you didn't invent we didn't
00:44:46.260
there's no one i think that's from as good as it gets um so there's things we can change the things
00:44:51.000
we can't so the basic serenity prayer you've heard of that is you know change the things you can leave
00:44:55.580
leave the things you can't so we if you live in the city it's good news in one way because you
00:45:00.220
can probably find like-minded people so you have to put up a flag you have to find those people
00:45:04.540
maybe you find them in church maybe you find them in jujitsu maybe you you know put a thing on
00:45:07.900
facebook like you need to put a flag up you need to find like-minded people build a community
00:45:12.680
exactly and then you need to invest in it so there's a few levels of this so i have global
00:45:17.140
community so i'm going to like a men's retreat for some business guys that i know in a few days
00:45:21.520
time after you know i'm going to the arc conference so i meet a few people and i'll you know talk to a
00:45:25.740
few people there i have the irish superpower skills from my grandparents so i can make friends and
00:45:30.000
chat to people you know you saw me just in the cafe meeting a couple of young guys it's easy for
00:45:33.360
me to do so that is a skill you can build to make friends but it's also about commitment you know
00:45:38.480
monday night is guys night at the pub it doesn't matter if i don't feel like going out i go out
00:45:42.600
you know you that's what i do friday night's my aa meeting i go you know i help young guys get
00:45:47.500
sober that's what i do on a friday night all right if i'm in the town that's what i'm doing
00:45:51.200
so you have to commit to these things it's not just like i don't feel like it there's a discipline
00:45:55.340
in it uh you have to reach out to people you have to get rejected you know like talk to 10 girls
00:46:00.900
nine of them reject you one of them won't you know what I mean it's like I did a lot of my
1.00
00:46:05.080
dating in Russia back in the day that made me bulletproof because it's just like Russian girls
0.90
00:46:09.340
just cut you down once you've been rejected by dozens of attractive women in Kiev or Moscow
0.73
00:46:15.560
you're bulletproof like once you've been rejected by strangers you're bulletproof once you talk to
00:46:20.840
people regularly like we do for a living you're bulletproof so you have to it's scary you get
00:46:25.900
rejected when you talk to girls you get rejected when you make friends you get rejected when you
00:46:30.520
talk to your neighbors and they don't want to talk to you but that's work and if you're extrovert
00:46:36.360
it's easier if you're introvert it's definitely harder right you know my partner's more introvert
00:46:40.980
than me so you know i do a lot of socializing for us and make friends and she makes friends
00:46:45.400
with the wives of my friends okay so when it comes to communities i completely agree with you
00:46:50.380
and i i did so yeah everywhere i've been but many people who talk about this and they talk about
00:46:59.060
disintegration of communities they live in cities yes and they say that the city is very uh it's
00:47:05.700
just just you know babylon as you said but it seems to me that it offers so many opportunities
0.94
00:47:12.620
for yeah building communities so why do people see something that seems to be like an opportunity
00:47:19.120
well the bigger city they're more closed off for everyone as i've spent time moscow new york london
00:47:23.400
kiev places like that and people are just closed off because yeah you need three four people you
00:47:27.920
don't need you don't need a million people if you've got three good friends you're doing great
00:47:31.680
you're doing great you know there's three guys i go to a pub with on a monday night you know
00:47:35.600
there's 10 guys in our ia meeting okay we got the english mass in lubiana there's 30 people there
00:47:41.360
yeah you know you don't need hundreds um it is some work but it is possible and it's like again
00:47:47.100
let's acknowledge it is difficult we're not born in a medieval village and also there's some serious
00:47:52.940
advantages right like medieval village they have religion but you were told which religion it was
00:47:58.040
they had meaning you could you had a career but you know my granddad was a fisherman in ireland
00:48:03.140
okay the only reason my dad wasn't a fisherman is because my granddad volunteered in world war two
00:48:07.780
as i was called irish volunteers they were called so he joined the royal navy um as merchant seaman
00:48:12.540
so very proud of him but it's like otherwise it would be a fisherman all the way back so it's
00:48:18.780
like yeah you know your job you don't have to go what's my life purpose i do a lot of coaching on
00:48:22.580
that you know but your job's given you know your religion but it's given and your community well
00:48:26.820
he had three girls to pick from you know at the irish village dance in cork little village in
00:48:32.740
cork where he where he was so it's like i'm glad he got well with my grandmother you know
00:48:36.580
it's like i've ended up with an italian girl i met in cretia you know it's uh so it's the best
0.90
00:48:42.720
time and the worst time to be alive and community is part of that like i can meet people who are
1.00
00:48:47.260
philosophically aligned with me you know it's like it's unlikely that you're going to bump into
00:48:52.040
someone in the pub who knows who Julius Eveler is or someone, right? But online, you can build
00:48:56.780
those communities. So I have the international communities, the people I visit once or twice a
00:49:01.000
year. I still get together with them. We go into my mate's house in a few days. And then I have
00:49:05.100
the local communities, and I have the actual neighborhood communities. So there's kind of
00:49:09.180
layers. Concentric. Exactly. Exactly. Right. So what's the third? Eco. So we talked about that.
00:49:15.080
That's nature. The hippies are right. Nature is good. The pagans aren't totally wrong.
00:49:19.520
but don't smoke nature don't smoke too much uh but what i would say is you know barefoot walking
00:49:24.380
i do that uh sit by the river um and this is for all sorts of things right you know i lived in the
00:49:30.840
west of england for a while i'd go to the river every single day it was almost like a ritual you
00:49:35.840
know i'd go there i feel really relaxed tranquil when i look at water very common very common
00:49:42.440
nothing there is no nothing let me just rephrase pardon me i'm just exhausted i don't see how the
00:49:52.700
sea can make me feel bad if i observe it and i have been a sailor as well i've also sailed some
00:49:59.700
really rough seas and i i really know how to steal the wheel okay i actually find it a bit
00:50:07.340
tranquil or something i like i like part of your greek it's probably part of your greek heritage
00:50:12.420
as well yeah maybe but also i can just sit by and just look at the sea a lot of people even if and
00:50:18.180
if it's if there's a storm or it's completely tranquil i it always wakes up something good
00:50:25.220
yeah yeah i used to have a really stressful day and i'd walk along the seafront in brighton and
00:50:29.440
the waves would just wash it away you know yeah same some people it's mountaintops i think i like
00:50:34.160
the forest um green and blue generally every day you want to see some green and some blue just to
00:50:38.700
keep it simple there's a whole body of work called eco-psychology there's evidence-based on this the
00:50:43.200
japanese have studied it a lot in terms of forest bathing they call it uh there's a whole body of
00:50:47.820
work on it now there's a whole um traditions at exeter university guy adrian harris dr adrian
00:50:52.480
harris studying it there's all sorts of people studying this so there's a whole evidence base
00:50:56.280
for comments you know your gran was right go go walk in the woods go climb a mountain get outside
00:51:01.260
it's not rocket science but again it's got to be a discipline you know every day i do 15k steps
00:51:06.980
okay now you know it's not marathon running every day but 15k steps means i'm outside quite a lot
00:51:13.040
okay it means i have to get up early if i've got a day in the studio or a day podcasting or whatever
00:51:17.740
or i go in the evening so you know i do my coaching calls usually in the day so
00:51:22.200
if i get 15k steps and i've been outside plenty yeah right so the other bit i want to talk to
00:51:28.740
you about nature and ask you it's just i can't think of nature being ugly except with one
00:51:34.880
exception okay what's cruelly where are we i really don't like i really don't like uh i don't
00:51:44.140
think swindon has bad nature oh okay swindon has some bad buildings okay i don't think it's the
00:51:49.820
church is nice there's a high anglican church that i just go i don't think it's the trees and
00:51:54.700
grass yeah it's problematic here wherever they are the west country is beautiful i love it i mean i
00:52:00.300
much as i mean where i live looks like the swiss alps but i still long for the green fields of
00:52:05.500
england there's a ethnic and kind of you know for me with sort of anglo-irish roots i really feel
00:52:10.620
that when i'm in ireland or the uk i really feel that longing for the for the place it's you know
00:52:16.300
it's hard to be away from that in some ways even though where i live is beautiful where's ugly then
00:52:20.540
where do you not like no it's not a place that i find landscape it's no no it's i hate it when
00:52:27.280
the weather doesn't know what it wants that's england occasionally okay we're in chops and
0.80
00:52:34.500
changes i don't like rapid changes okay i want to align myself with are you a bit autistic
00:52:40.720
weather no no i thought everyone at the lotus is what's no is that it depends what you mean
0.66
00:52:45.700
i'm just messing with you i'm just messing with you don't want to i i just don't like you know
00:52:51.040
the very light the light gray okay okay you prefer lots of sunshine it was rainy or sunny
00:52:57.780
yeah more clear yeah no be cloudy okay i can relate to that be rainy just make up your what
00:53:04.600
you're doing stop messing about yes or no karate baby squish yeah okay i get it okay okay and
00:53:10.700
let us go to the fourth step which if i remember correctly it's theoregulation theory it means
00:53:15.820
connecting to meaning or purpose in the secular sense or we could say higher power or god if
00:53:22.640
you're not scared of the word right okay so how do we find meaning let me ask let me contextualize
00:53:27.580
because i was thinking a lot about it because it seems to me that people who try to find meaning
00:53:35.920
already feel that in some respects meaning eludes them okay yeah i see what you mean if you if you
00:53:42.280
are on cloud nine if you're in heaven don't search for meaning well yeah if you're deep in a flow
00:53:49.440
state deeply making love to someone yeah deep and ecstatic prayer whatever you're not thinking oh
00:53:55.540
where's the meaning yes so you must feel a sort of gap to say that i have to fill it somehow yeah
00:54:03.200
yeah yeah don't think anything weird we're not filling any greek gaps okay guys there's no jokes
00:54:09.380
definitely no jokes about greeks and gaps and sailors none of that all right let's continue
00:54:14.060
meaning okay so meaning when it comes to trying to do this just seems to me that when people
00:54:22.100
frequently experience something bad in their life that's when they say consciously i have to pursue
00:54:28.400
meaning yeah i have to find a way there they understand a problem and then they come come
00:54:36.300
they start saying i have to find the solution to it yeah and i have to make life more tolerable
00:54:42.360
than it already is so they frequently navigate towards listening to other people
00:54:50.880
at least it's for for for it's one of the first steps yeah the current intellectual orthodoxy
00:54:58.040
for a long time yeah in the western world and also in england there's a particular
00:55:05.560
tradition in of english philosophy okay for a long time they are bombarded with
00:55:13.720
ideologies and worldviews that cannot accommodate meaning right let me say and i don't i'm not
00:55:23.580
gonna put the i'd consider sloppy argument of saying if you're a materialist you can't have
00:55:29.700
meaning in your life or you can't be moral i think you can um but the point is what i want to say is
00:55:36.280
that people who are materialists and are moral i think are moral despite their materialism not
00:55:43.540
because of them got it yeah yeah and the problem the way i see it with lots of these ideologies
00:55:50.400
like naturalism, eliminative materialism, reductive materialism,
00:55:54.900
all of these ideologies that try to eliminate the first person,
00:56:01.800
they are essentially becoming a bad voice in us.
00:56:08.140
They're trying to say, but all of this is a lie.
00:56:18.620
there is no right or wrong it's all a lie okay because it doesn't fit so it sabotages people
00:56:25.520
from trying to guide their thinking in pursuing meaning agree yeah so what do you think how
00:56:34.420
should people feel regulate or pursue meaning given that you know okay first of all in this
00:56:41.740
context where the overwhelming majorities of books that they're gonna open yeah let's say
00:56:48.300
They visit Waterstones, they're going to see Dawkins, Sam Harris, Dennett,
00:56:53.740
all these people who tell them basically the self is an illusion.
00:57:02.200
Okay, so I'm not as good at philosophy as you are.
00:57:06.060
The way I look at it is that material modernity doesn't really have a story of meaning.
00:57:11.740
It says stuff doesn't really have a theory of consciousness, of beauty, of goodness, of love,
00:57:17.000
any of the things that make life worth living it's a philosophically bankrupt culture now when
00:57:23.260
i say philosophy i don't necessarily mean a book in waterstones i mean the sort of default culture
00:57:27.740
the ethos of the times so we're in a kind of materialist times which leads to hedonism as
00:57:33.700
the only sort of there's no meaning you try and medicate yourself with hedonism which leads to
00:57:37.440
addiction death and despair and all the problems we've talked about so that's the anti-culture i
00:57:42.080
call it the anti-culture that we're in is the machine anti-culture or materialist modernity
00:57:46.620
if you will materialist liberal modernity it doesn't have a sufficient anthropology it doesn't
00:57:51.780
really have a theory of any of these things that make life worth living so we could get more into
00:57:57.100
the philosophy and you know more than me i think about it but that's my basic story is the culture
00:58:01.740
the general culture the default culture even if you never go into waterstones doesn't offer meaning
00:58:07.700
now another thing i think is helpful is people often say you know what's the meaning of life
00:58:13.160
and i've asked people out on the street we actually stop people in the street and do coaching with
00:58:17.740
them and were you holding the lamp uh yeah we were looking for the the classic is it socrates
00:58:22.820
or nietzsche nietzsche yeah um no we stop people in the street like socrates like a gadfly and
00:58:27.720
annoy people and most people say oh to have fun and it's just sort of some sort of hedonism unless
00:58:32.200
they happen to be religious for most people it's their they don't really have any philosophy of
00:58:35.960
life it's just like i'll try and have fun and it's like that doesn't end well like drinking
00:58:40.080
monster yeah drinking monster drinking pints and stellas the evening whatever it doesn't end well
00:58:45.660
and we can see that on an individual level with all the addicts on the street you can see that
0.94
00:58:49.260
on a societal level materialism has fucking failed let's be honest about it so what do we do we can't
0.80
00:58:56.380
go back we can't larp as now i want to retake constantinople for the greeks i get it like the
0.95
00:59:03.980
idea of crusading we probably do need a reconquista we probably do need a crusade uh but the idea of
00:59:12.340
larping as a sort of pre-modern medieval guy i mean i've got my deus vault t-shirt on in the gym
00:59:19.460
or whatever but we can't really go back and the reason you can't go back is your brain has changed
00:59:24.040
you've been moderned i'm subject to the same uh toxic cynicism and as as everybody else now you
00:59:32.360
then you're left in the sort of Dawkins mode you know I grew up I was reading Dawkins when I was
00:59:36.940
like 15 16 and you're like oh now what do I do because I'm miserable and you're being yeah he'll
00:59:42.200
tell you but it's true and truth doesn't care about your misery yeah yeah and which what I would
00:59:48.620
say is what you need to do there is is have an experience that opens up profundity to you so
00:59:54.820
nobody falls in love logically you don't fall in love with your partner because you work it out on
01:00:00.220
Excel spreadsheet. I always feel like Keir Starmer's like if an
01:00:03.840
Excel spreadsheet, bread with a kind of, I don't know, what
01:00:08.440
would it be like a Down syndrome Excel spreadsheet? That's his
01:00:13.280
whole vibe that managerial, like a, like a Excel spreadsheet
01:00:18.940
bread with a Down syndrome pancake. You know, that's what
01:00:21.820
he looks like. It's something gray. That's a kind of gray hell.
01:00:25.480
It's flat. You know, there's something about that that
01:00:27.760
disgusts me and terrifies me that's not how i want to live and it's not how we do live you know
1.00
01:00:33.180
i go to i was in um westminster cathedral for mass in london yesterday right stunning it's a neo
01:00:39.380
neo-bizantine actually and as soon as you walk in you believe in god as soon as you believe in you're
01:00:45.100
like whoa okay something's here it's the same in falling in love it's the same when you're on top
01:00:49.520
of a mountain you're experiencing profundity so i would say to people how can you experience
01:00:56.280
the divine how can you experience something which uh oceanically transcends your life
01:01:02.940
how can you dissolve into that now you can add a theology and a philosophy later on that's wise
01:01:08.860
it's wise to have the cognitive part you know the catholic church for example has a lot of
01:01:12.680
philosophy and cognitive parts worked out um there are different technologies for that so i know for
01:01:19.040
a fact if i don't eat for three days and i'm in a silent meditation retreat i will be having visions
01:01:24.300
like i will be talking to the saints and that's just a result of a set of technologies some people
01:01:31.300
it's psychedelics not always wise if people have mental health problems like i have to be a bit
01:01:35.900
careful with those uh how do you have a bad trip um they can make people psychotic so we can as
01:01:44.080
well actually but yeah i mean i've been doing psychedelics since i was 13 years old but i
01:01:49.440
wouldn't do them too often my family have a talent for openness trait openness so it means we have
01:01:56.440
schizophrenics and epileptics but we also you know my mom was a mystical catholic nun for seven years
01:02:01.600
she's a novice nun so this is in our family that we're quite open now i can trip balls just by
01:02:07.120
doing a bit of yoga so some people it comes easily too and they need to be careful actually and this
01:02:14.320
for example a little bit of breath work and i'm already kind of high as a kite um but my partner
01:02:19.600
she's very logical very sort of uh maybe a bit on the spectrum and she went to a breath work
01:02:24.960
camp with me and didn't she just got a headache she was like nothing touched her but for her it
01:02:29.220
might be something else for her it might be a beautiful italian church or nature exercise so
01:02:34.800
there's a whole bunch of technologies out there which are very practical and don't don't believe
01:02:39.820
me like this isn't a logical uh argument this is something you experience and i think once you have
01:02:45.480
those experiences it just like for me denying the divine would be like denying red it's just part
01:02:53.920
of experience like now if you were blind it would be hard for me to explain red like philosophically
01:02:58.520
that's quite a challenge right that qualia there but it's part of my experience on a daily basis
01:03:04.000
And I think it's part of the normal, I mean, the norm, the normative human consciousness is this, like we were animists for a long time before we were anything else. So this is normal. This is normal to be experiencing this, this layer of the world.
01:03:19.340
Right. So I want us to move to the final section of the interview and to talk about the really hard stuff. It seems to me that some people really have to be on the edge of the abyss sometimes to find meaning.
01:03:33.420
yeah and if they don't cross the point of no return they do find meaning there
01:03:39.500
where is that point and what are you have to be in a particular state of mind to be
01:03:47.000
to find yourself yes you know two minutes to midnight all of culture has just hit what we
01:03:56.440
call in alcoholics anonymous rock bottom so rock bottom is not a certain amount of alcohol or a
01:04:02.660
certain physiological state it's a spiritual state where you go i've had enough and then you're ready
01:04:06.940
to surrender but i mean for me i was 10 years alcoholic and one day i just woke up and i've
01:04:11.240
had enough you know i've had enough for other people it's a really strong experience like you
01:04:15.200
know i knew a guy killed his wife in blackout woke up covered in blood you know for him that was that
01:04:19.860
was his rock bottom for me it wasn't anything as dramatic as that as a culture we're hitting rock
01:04:25.540
bottom and the entertainment industry the distraction and addiction industry is having
01:04:30.780
to work harder and harder to keep people away from that rock bottom and i don't think anyone's
01:04:36.160
buying it anymore still else i really don't think they're buying it so this is why i'm hopeful
01:04:40.060
because i think as a group we're hitting that rock bottom um but it's a dangerous place you
01:04:45.300
know when i was younger i was addicted i was suicidal i've stared into that abyss in ukraine
01:04:51.220
and other places and it it's dark so we have talked about culture but i would like to you know
01:04:58.380
make it on the on an individual basis yeah it's just what makes people think of uh ending their
01:05:07.640
life the guy i recommend people follow is called george from the tin men he gives a lot of these
01:05:15.880
sort of scientific evidence based on this and his real specialism is looking at men's mental health
01:05:20.040
so i'd really recommend him i want to while i've looked at mental health a lot in my life i wouldn't
01:05:29.220
I think we, Albert Camus' question of why don't you kill yourself
0.95
01:05:36.000
But would you say that sometimes people can't give a cognitive answer?
01:05:43.120
I think we've been driven to despair by a culture that hates us,
01:05:50.800
if I'm going to look at it through a religious lens,
0.96
01:05:55.980
And it's driven a generation of us to despair in various ways.
01:06:03.060
There's the quick suicide, like jump off a bridge.
01:06:05.540
But then there's also the slow suicide of the guy who just plays computer games 12 hours a day.
01:06:12.140
It's just the guy who's just not living fully.
1.00
01:06:19.740
Maybe that's my Irish defiance, but I'd say don't let the fuckers win.
1.00
01:06:22.980
that's yeah but the point with this is that it tries to base one's you know rebirth on negative
1.00
01:06:33.540
feelings and like i hate the fuckers therefore i don't want okay there's a reason to see me die
0.96
01:06:38.680
so physiologically we have a positive yeah yes we should but physiologically anger energizes people
0.99
01:06:45.600
out of despair yeah so there's something called polyvagal theory for example you can look at which
01:06:50.120
When people are in shutdown, getting angry is a good thing.
01:06:53.540
Like, for example, my team were working with a bunch of veterans
01:07:00.180
We're doing embodied practice, prayer, blah, blah, blah.
01:07:04.720
Now we're heading in a good direction because anger has some energy.
01:07:10.440
Given the state of the West and what's been done to this country,
01:07:16.600
but it's a bad fuel long term it's a bad fuel it's a toxic fuel so yes you will need to get
01:07:24.040
to love on the other side of that i mean i'm thinking of the iliad and you mentioned war
01:07:28.380
veterans uh trauma yeah yeah wrath and trying to control wrath this is the iliad in a natural
01:07:34.380
because you have achilles who is who feels justified wrath arguably justified he is a war
01:07:42.440
veteran it was a poem written for yeah people back then who would probably be war veterans
01:07:49.180
it was a way of processing trauma among other things and it's about how not being able to
01:07:55.600
restrain your anger yes dehumanizes you and you recover your humanity when you end up doing it
01:08:02.580
and all those things so i agree with you and this is something that we see in virtue ethics as well
01:08:08.080
in that people are angry when they're angry they frequently don't listen because they don't
01:08:16.820
temper their anger they don't moderate their anger and frequently if you tell them to that
1.00
01:08:22.600
anger isn't a good counsel they go against you they say no you want me well you're stupid when
0.99
01:08:28.680
you're angry so i mean just just neurologically your neocortex is not working very well but would
0.98
01:08:33.960
you say that this is a healthy sign if someone is angry they still have it okay even if they can't
01:08:39.520
say that they're alive yeah and they do have some fighting energy exactly so as a way out of despair
01:08:46.580
and shutdown just neurologically it's a higher energy state so it's not bad i also think it's
01:08:51.460
an appropriate response to violation so i don't think emotions are important i disagree with all
01:08:56.800
the american girly psychotherapists who are like oh let me tell you about my feelings i don't care
01:09:00.440
about your feelings that much but feelings tell you what's going on so it's like a telephone
01:09:04.920
ringing the telephone ringing of anger is we have been violated so it's completely understandable
01:09:10.460
if young men are angry given the violation that's happened in the west you know i was reading about
01:09:14.720
the 250 000 number recently i was just in a rage i was in a rage and i had to go to church and i did
01:09:21.040
have to hear that message thou shalt not kill which jesus also said hey you could also kill in
01:09:26.360
your brain yeah because why because if you want to be smart if you want to be creative and you
01:09:30.520
want to have compassion for the people around you even your enemies that doesn't mean letting them
01:09:35.060
win but it means not not acting stupidly and fighting them so if you want to like if you see
01:09:41.260
like special forces guys or great athletes they're not angry all the time that burns energy it's
01:09:46.840
inefficient it's not spiritually it's toxic as hell you know this idea of resentment is like
01:09:52.800
drinking poison and hoping someone else dies as an energizing move as a coach for example i'll help
01:09:58.020
people get angry to get out of despair but then you've got to find love you know i've got a child
01:10:03.000
on the way i've got a lot to live for like you know i'm not waking up angry and shouting at
01:10:07.800
people on the internet you know i love my work like i love where i live i love the communities
01:10:12.720
i'm a part of and let me let me stay let's get greek and classy nostos this journey home that's
01:10:20.440
what we're talking about let's go to the the um the odyssey yeah so this i this idea of the longing
01:10:27.080
for home that's the beauty in healthy nationalism that's the that's what embodiment is it's coming
01:10:33.500
home to the body this is the reality not this not your internet arguments uh what is spirituality
01:10:38.380
if not coming home you know i remember when i came back to catholicism after a big break i was like
01:10:44.240
oh oh i didn't pretend tired of pretending to be an asian buddhist or something it's like
0.94
01:10:50.420
sticking feathers up your ass doesn't make you a chicken you know it's like coming home was
0.99
01:10:54.940
wonderful the romance when you're sitting on a bed with a woman you love and you're just chilling
1.00
01:11:00.380
out and you've come home like that's what we want and yes there's sirens on the way this mobile
01:11:06.440
phone this is the siren right there's cyclops there's all these kind of battles and things and
0.63
01:11:11.080
problems but we're all just fucking trying to come home right so thank you very much i think
01:11:19.120
this is a beautiful way to to end our interview and i really enjoyed it i hope you did as well
01:11:25.640
and i hope you enjoyed it um even more so mark where people can find more of you okay if you
01:11:32.540
want to read there's a book called how to become human by mark just by mark on amazon if you like
01:11:37.060
to read on instagram it's what mulch so the w and the m reversed if you like instagram little
01:11:42.980
videos on there don't spend too long on instagram but you might find those fun and feral philosophy
01:11:48.220
is our podcast and youtube channel various podcasts in there people we did one with jonathan
01:11:52.540
pejot for example called trans epstein and the jews that's a great fun one to start with for
01:11:58.120
anyone new okay thank you very much so do check them out we all we will have links underneath
01:12:03.860
so check them out and thank you so your work has been amazing at yukon all the others connor before
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the work you do has changed the culture and it's it's really made a big difference to a lot of
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people there was times i felt so alone and i'd stick on youtube and i go i'm not mad these guys
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get it and that that is a beautiful thing thank you very much mark pleasure