The Roseanne Barr Podcast - Adam Carolla! ｜ The Roseanne Barr Podcast #087

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00:00:57.060 Hey podcast fans! If you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to share your opinion.

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00:01:26.740 Greetings, earthlings and humans and what have you. What are they called? Nephilim. 0.93

00:01:35.660 What's the other ones? Anunnaki. Anunnaki. Reptilians. Reptilians. Reptilians. All the other

00:01:40.420 things everybody talks about on the internet. Greetings all. One and all. You'll all be learning

00:01:46.000 a thing or two here. Welcome. And I forgot to say animals too. The smartest of all, of all beings.

00:01:54.340 Animals. So much smarter than us. For one thing, they don't have to bullshit themselves and lie

00:01:59.320 every single fucking day. That's why they are smarter and better than us. But to all of you, 1.00

00:02:05.360 welcome to the Roseanne Barr podcast. Well, I'm so excited because you know when I get to talk to

00:02:17.900 people that remind me of me, first of all, I'm my favorite person to think about, talk about,

00:02:24.660 watch. I'm my biggest fan. But then when I can find another person who's on my same wavelength,

00:02:31.860 I love it because it's very hard to find somebody who thinks like I do. And when I do find them,

00:02:41.860 I'm just so excited. And I'm so excited to have a guest who is a comic and a fine comic and also a,

00:02:51.160 I don't know what the word is. What do you call them when they came over here? The pilgrim.

00:02:57.960 You're kind of like a pilgrim of internet talk. You're kind of like a master. Anyway,

00:03:03.340 because you did the first podcast. And anyway, Adam Carolla. Hi, Adam.

00:03:08.140 Hi, Roseanne. Thanks for having me.

00:03:10.180 Thanks for being here. But you were like one of the first podcasters in the whole wide world,

00:03:14.680 weren't you?

00:03:15.520 I was early in it. I think coming up on my 16th year.

00:03:21.720 Good Lord.

00:03:22.580 In really in a number of days, I think. And I didn't really pioneer the podcast,

00:03:30.900 but I'll take some credit for monetizing it and sort of creating a business model.

00:03:38.240 Because everybody used to want to do it, including me. I was doing it too, but found out it was only

00:03:43.160 1% of people who had the internet who could access that level of tech at the time. This was in the

00:03:50.500 90s. But then when you did it, we all wanted to do it. And they had all these, I don't know what

00:03:56.760 they're called, conventions about doing it. And I remember sitting there with Dr. Spock. What was

00:04:01.760 his name? And he was considered the father of the internet at the time. Leonard Nimoy?

00:04:06.040 Yeah. And they were talking about, because he had monetized.

00:04:09.040 Wait, that's Mr. Spock. Dr. Spock writes children's, he writes parenting books.

00:04:14.380 Yeah. Okay. But anyway, here nor there. Anyway, he was talking about, as soon as they figure out how

00:04:23.100 to monetize, it's going to go huge. So that was like the late 90s. And nobody could figure that out.

00:04:29.320 And then you did.

00:04:31.220 Well, and I also sort of, one thing I did kind of invent was the live podcast. Because we started

00:04:39.840 doing live podcasts almost day one, because that's the only way we could monetize it,

00:04:45.980 was to sell a ticket at a comedy club or a theater. So that was like sort of the early way to monetize

00:04:51.780 a podcast. For me, I'd worked in radio for a long time. And the radio model was, you do a show,

00:05:03.160 if the show's popular, then you get X amount of listeners. And if you get X amount of listeners,

00:05:10.460 then you can sell that to advertisers. So when I went from radio, almost 15 years of radio to

00:05:20.400 podcasting, I just said, well, what we should do is just do a show and have it be a popular show,

00:05:27.180 and then we'll sell it to advertisers. And everyone said, well, that's never going to happen.

00:05:34.040 And I said, but why wouldn't it happen? And the number one answer for people telling you why

00:05:40.100 stuff's not going to happen is really just because it hasn't happened. Right. They just go,

00:05:44.120 that's not going to work. And I go, well, I don't get, what's the difference? What's the difference

00:05:47.680 between a radio show and a podcast? People listen, it's popular, and they would just sell that

00:05:53.880 to advertisers. And everyone said it wouldn't work. But I said, I bet it will. And at some point,

00:06:02.980 it's going to take a little while for people to acclimate. And then what happened is people who

00:06:08.260 used to do sales for radio just started doing sales for my podcast. Instead of selling a radio show,

00:06:15.080 they sold my podcast. And then the exact same model just carried over into podcasting. And that's

00:06:20.580 what everyone uses. But why wouldn't they? Well, do you ever think about Byron Allen and what a

00:06:27.500 absolute genius he is? Because he's the one to first offer free content for advertising barter on

00:06:35.080 television. That's why he has huge studios all through the San Fernando Valley and makes all this

00:06:41.960 content. I thought that was really brilliant too. Yeah, he's quite the businessman. He is. It's free

00:06:49.320 content for advertising barter. Share in that. Right. Yeah. I mean, when I started, we did a lot of

00:06:58.760 Amazon affiliate stuff where you could click on Amazon. And if you bought something for Amazon,

00:07:06.840 we'd get 2% of the sale or some stuff like that, which is a way to kind of pay the bills.

00:07:12.900 We also did sales, but it'd be like with pro flowers where they go, look, we're not paying you

00:07:22.340 anything for advertising, but for every bouquet you sell at 27 bucks, we'll give you a two bucks.

00:07:29.940 And so it was like, all right, well, they're not exactly sticking their neck out because if you sell

00:07:34.920 five, then they owe us 10 bucks. Right. No harm, no foul. But we ended up, you know,

00:07:40.660 they ended up cutting us a check for like $70,000 or something because we sold so many. And little

00:07:47.320 things like that started to kind of creep in where people started to take a chance, you know, on,

00:07:53.380 on advertising with a podcast versus terrestrial radio.

00:07:58.080 And now people are making like millions on podcasts.

00:08:02.460 It's crazy.

00:08:03.260 Isn't it?

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00:09:37.100 I, I, it, it, it is. It's a, I mean, I don't know that we should be surprised by anything today.

00:09:44.380 No.

00:09:44.980 Nothing anymore.

00:09:45.820 Absolutely not.

00:09:46.600 But it is nuts. You know, when I started and people thought it was called a pod cart and they

00:09:53.940 never heard of it. And I, I would say to comedians who would come on my show, I'd go, you, you should

00:09:59.900 do a podcast. And they'd go, why? I'd go, well, I don't know. I mean, you get to sit and talk to cool

00:10:09.080 people and share ideas and have something to say. And then I started realizing like a lot of

00:10:14.900 comedians didn't have that much to say unless they were getting paid, you know? And, and so I

00:10:21.980 would say, they'd go, how often do you do your podcast? And I'd go every day.

00:10:27.100 You did it every day?

00:10:28.020 Every day.

00:10:28.660 Oh no.

00:10:29.180 And they'd go, oh no, I wouldn't do it.

00:10:32.600 I couldn't do it.

00:10:33.220 And then they'd go, how'd you get paid? And I'd go, I didn't, I just did it every day.

00:10:37.820 And they were like, no, I'm going to do that. And I'm like, well, for me, I just want to

00:10:44.820 talk. So it's just an excuse to talk.

00:10:48.200 Yeah. You're like me in that way. I love to talk. And of course I love to listen too, but

00:10:55.940 not as much as I love to talk, you know? I really do have, I'm filled with way too many

00:11:01.980 sentences for some reason. And I was going to, I said to you when we started, what do you want

00:11:07.400 to talk about? And you said the way your brain works is just a thousand thoughts collide in

00:11:13.900 a minute inside of there.

00:11:16.220 Yeah. I, and I said, well, late last night, somebody sent me a tweet and it said that today

00:11:24.060 was Paul Newman's hundredth birthday or would have been. Well, I guess it still is.

00:11:30.980 Yeah. He was born that day.

00:11:33.400 Yeah. I agree. They go, it would have been. That's, it's not really a past tense thing.

00:11:38.000 Like at some point, Abraham Lincoln's going to have a birthday, but it doesn't mean he's

00:11:42.660 going to be 241 years old.

00:11:45.600 So, uh. 0.99

00:11:46.800 But how stupid are people to even say that? Because I mean, or am I, I don't know who's 1.00

00:11:53.000 stupid me or them, but it's always going to be his birthday. 0.99

00:11:55.980 I agree. I think if it's George Washington or, you know, some luminary from the past, 1.00

00:12:06.880 Cleopatra, you have to say, you don't have to say would have been, but if it's, but if

00:12:14.340 it's Pee Wee Herman and you go today would have been Pee Wee Herman's 71st birthday, you

00:12:19.900 have to say that because you don't know that everyone knows he's dead.

00:12:23.400 That's true. And the absolute truth.

00:12:26.000 The two guys that I used to get mistaken for all the time were Gilbert Godfrey and Norm

00:12:34.160 McDonald.

00:12:34.820 Oh yeah.

00:12:35.100 And they both died.

00:12:36.360 Yeah. And that leaves you.

00:12:38.800 That leaves me, but still.

00:12:40.160 You're kind of like if they had a baby.

00:12:42.820 Yeah. Yeah.

00:12:45.040 You know, if they had, it would have been, you would have been their son.

00:12:48.460 I, uh, I'll take that as a compliment.

00:12:51.680 It is a great compliment.

00:12:53.400 I, but I would get Norm a lot.

00:12:56.700 And I remember about four months after he died, I was crossing PCH and some guy yelled

00:13:02.340 in the car. It's like, Hey Norm.

00:13:04.340 And I was like, he's dead.

00:13:06.600 Like even, even after he's dead, you're still going to call me Norm.

00:13:10.780 It'll, it'll never end.

00:13:12.460 Isn't that great?

00:13:13.000 Tomorrow would have been Norm McDonald's 67th birthday.

00:13:16.000 Do you know that?

00:13:16.620 No.

00:13:16.920 I made that up.

00:13:18.260 Is it true?

00:13:19.660 I have no idea.

00:13:20.400 Oh, okay.

00:13:21.360 I like it, but I didn't know his actual birthday.

00:13:23.700 I didn't know his birthday either.

00:13:25.380 And I didn't even know he was, uh, dead for a day or a while after he was dead.

00:13:33.620 And I had been livid at him.

00:13:38.060 This is how horrible a person I am.

00:13:40.740 We know.

00:13:41.800 You all know that.

00:13:42.920 I have been livid that he hadn't been calling me back on these jokes I left on his answering

00:13:48.820 machine.

00:13:49.400 Oh, really?

00:13:49.960 To go, is this funny?

00:13:51.060 Because I always did that.

00:13:52.060 And he'd go, yeah, it's pretty funny.

00:13:55.120 Or you, you're, you gotta work it.

00:13:57.480 So your jokes, you were vetting through Norm.

00:14:01.200 Yeah.

00:14:01.760 Certain jokes.

00:14:02.720 Right.

00:14:02.940 Not all.

00:14:03.480 And then he passed and you didn't know he passed.

00:14:06.940 Yeah.

00:14:07.120 So I was pissed.

00:14:07.940 Like, God, Norm.

00:14:09.100 And so then I'd text and stuff. 0.64

00:14:11.300 What the hell?

00:14:12.820 What am I? 0.99

00:14:13.400 Chopped liver? 1.00

00:14:14.200 All this shit. 1.00

00:14:15.160 The guy's dead. 1.00

00:14:16.800 So I felt so guilty and dirty after.

00:14:20.040 But I think he would laugh.

00:14:21.960 Yeah.

00:14:22.660 He might.

00:14:23.500 No, he was fun.

00:14:25.180 We had some fun times.

00:14:27.120 Like, I mean.

00:14:28.200 What was his problem?

00:14:29.840 He would come on the podcast and would just start getting into Kenny Rogers songs.

00:14:34.160 It's on the internet.

00:14:35.160 It's super funny.

00:14:37.020 Norm was like, you know, he didn't drive.

00:14:41.720 He had a bunch of sort of social issues.

00:14:46.080 Yeah.

00:14:46.460 I never know why people need to be that way.

00:14:53.240 What way?

00:14:53.860 What do you mean?

00:14:55.360 It's like.

00:14:56.100 Social?

00:14:56.920 Well, no.

00:14:57.440 What I'm saying is, is I know, have known X amount of comedians who live in LA who just

00:15:04.800 announced they don't drive.

00:15:06.920 Right then and there.

00:15:08.080 Like, you're making your life so much more difficult than it needs to be.

00:15:13.540 And, you know.

00:15:14.240 By not driving?

00:15:15.160 Yeah.

00:15:15.600 I could drive when I was 15 and a half.

00:15:17.900 You know what I mean?

00:15:18.780 Like, you're so hobbled by certain rules.

00:15:23.940 Like, for me, there's just a lot of difficult people out there.

00:15:28.580 And, you know, you say to them, like, they do still water, but they don't do bubbly water.

00:15:35.060 Yeah.

00:15:35.340 They don't drive.

00:15:36.660 There's a lot of dietary stuff.

00:15:38.680 There's a lot of rules.

00:15:39.680 Like, sometimes you'll go, like, the only flight out's at seven, so we got to get up

00:15:43.940 at five.

00:15:44.180 I don't get up that early, bro.

00:15:45.780 It's like, what's with your rules?

00:15:47.660 Stop with the rules.

00:15:48.620 Just get up and go.

00:15:49.940 Yeah, right.

00:15:50.480 There's a lot of people, like, I don't do this, and I don't do that, or this person disrespected

00:15:56.620 me, or I don't eat this, or I can't do that.

00:16:01.300 And I'm like, I don't know.

00:16:02.300 But why put all the limitations on your life?

00:16:06.000 Do you think that those are the kind of people that let California burn, though?

00:16:11.320 The people who don't do that, because it's against the rules, they're the ones that let 1.00

00:16:16.240 shit burn to the ground with their fucking rules, aren't they? 0.99

00:16:21.260 Well, I was here to celebrate Paul Newman's birthday. 1.00

00:16:24.060 I'm sorry to bring you down.

00:16:25.240 Let's get into...

00:16:26.140 Oh, my God.

00:16:26.700 Did I have a crush on him?

00:16:28.340 Did you?

00:16:28.720 All the other girls was liking on Paul the Beatle?

00:16:34.360 McCartney?

00:16:34.920 What's his name?

00:16:35.760 Yeah.

00:16:36.460 They all like the other...

00:16:37.560 Did they limit themselves to guys named Paul?

00:16:40.660 Your friends?

00:16:42.000 Can we get out to, like, a Glenn or Steve or somebody?

00:16:46.560 So they like Paul McCartney, but you like...

00:16:50.960 Paul Newman.

00:16:51.720 Paul Newman.

00:16:52.180 I like Mrs. Paul's fish fillet.

00:16:54.900 See?

00:16:55.620 It's a small world.

00:16:56.620 Yeah, it's a Paul world.

00:16:58.720 I wonder if Norm would like that joke.

00:17:02.680 He might.

00:17:03.220 I guess we'll never know.

00:17:04.520 I guess...

00:17:04.820 Well, I still expect to hear from him, because I know he'll do one of those.

00:17:10.060 He's one of those that can move time and space.

00:17:12.440 He'll contact you.

00:17:13.580 Like, there'll be a bird singing off somewhere, and I'll just know it.

00:17:18.700 You know, I'll just know it, because birds will come to me all the time when my friends

00:17:22.520 die, and it happens.

00:17:24.780 Do you believe in stuff like that?

00:17:26.560 I do now.

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00:18:38.260 tomorrow.

00:18:40.000 I never really gave it any thought.

00:18:42.260 In the past, I thought there were just birds, you know?

00:18:46.020 Yeah, but what are birds?

00:18:49.300 Well, you know, I'm not an ornithologist, but I would say winged would help with the definition.

00:18:57.120 Yeah.

00:18:57.820 I hear hollow-boned.

00:18:59.500 Yeah.

00:18:59.720 Sometimes I hear ancestors of dinosaurs.

00:19:03.880 Definitely.

00:19:04.760 I've heard Gilbert Gottfried's name thrown around, too, as it pertained to which of the

00:19:09.600 birds.

00:19:11.180 Spy drones.

00:19:12.220 Oh, yeah.

00:19:12.580 I look at birds as birds, I would say.

00:19:15.460 I'm sleeping at Dr. Drew's house because of the fire.

00:19:19.460 I'm out of my house in Malibu, and he had a hoot owl by my window last night.

00:19:25.500 Oh, last night?

00:19:26.500 Yeah, it was like, woo, woo, you know, three in the morning.

00:19:30.460 Yeah.

00:19:30.940 Did your house burn down?

00:19:32.560 No, my house did not burn down.

00:19:35.460 Not gone wood?

00:19:36.620 Everything in front of it turned down.

00:19:42.760 This is laminated wood.

00:19:44.760 It's not what we call dimensional lumber, which is wood thrown through, so I don't know

00:19:48.820 if the knocking works.

00:19:49.720 It has wood product.

00:19:50.540 It has wood product.

00:19:51.440 It's got wood pulp.

00:19:52.720 Yeah.

00:19:52.880 Yeah, it's got a video.

00:19:53.760 So it'll work.

00:19:54.180 That's good enough, symbolically.

00:19:56.400 Everything in front of me is gone.

00:19:58.400 Symbolism, I want to talk to you about stuff.

00:19:59.600 And a lot around me is gone, but my place did not burn down.

00:20:03.880 Did you have the blue roof or something?

00:20:05.480 How did you survive?

00:20:06.500 Um, my place is modern-ish construction, you know, stucco, metal windows, a flat roof,

00:20:15.800 you know, not a lot of eaves and fascia and, you know, wood and things and no attic where

00:20:23.120 embers can blow in the vent and catch the timbers on fire and so on and so forth.

00:20:28.020 So that helped.

00:20:30.280 Um, it's not going to save you when everything goes up, but it will lessen your chances of

00:20:37.600 burning.

00:20:38.020 Did you build that house yourself?

00:20:40.280 No, but I could have because that used to be my profession.

00:20:43.820 No, I know you're a builder.

00:20:45.600 Yeah, I'm definitely a builder.

00:20:47.480 Got some notes for this.

00:20:48.740 Yeah.

00:20:49.000 I know.

00:20:49.560 I need notes.

00:20:50.440 Oh my God.

00:20:51.480 I have to like either level it or something.

00:20:54.460 Well, it hasn't been touched since it was built in the 70s.

00:20:56.780 It was a 70s party house.

00:20:59.660 Oh, really?

00:21:00.300 Yeah, that's what they did.

00:21:01.320 It does.

00:21:02.200 Have that.

00:21:03.060 Yeah.

00:21:03.440 It does have a little booger sugar vibe to it, you know?

00:21:07.840 A little bit.

00:21:08.600 Yeah.

00:21:08.780 Yeah.

00:21:09.060 Because the 70s were very, like, everything was loosely based on a ski chalet.

00:21:14.700 You know what I mean?

00:21:15.600 It's like lots of stone, lots of wood, lots of dark walnuts, stain, you know, very boogie

00:21:25.320 nights.

00:21:25.820 I don't know, but you know what?

00:21:28.540 My thing is, like, I wouldn't touch this place because three years after you die, it's coming

00:21:34.200 back into fashion.

00:21:35.540 You think so?

00:21:36.240 After I die?

00:21:36.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:37.180 You got to wait till you die, but yeah.

00:21:38.940 Is it just when anyone dies, their house comes back into fashion or is it me?

00:21:43.760 Things come around, you know what I mean?

00:21:47.280 Like fashion.

00:21:48.300 I get it.

00:21:48.740 Women, you know, jeans, bell bottoms, hip huggers, you know, hairstyles, you know, things. 1.00

00:21:55.320 Fat asses. 1.00

00:21:56.000 Fat asses. 1.00

00:21:56.460 I was waiting for the fat asses to come back. 1.00

00:21:59.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:59.900 You and the brothers.

00:22:01.460 Yeah.

00:22:01.860 Now I'm waiting for the big guts to come back, but they never went away, but yet they weren't

00:22:08.360 featured.

00:22:09.240 I don't know if they're ever really in vogue, but there's always a guy, you know, there's

00:22:16.840 a, there's a lid for every pot.

00:22:19.200 I, I, uh, pot belly.

00:22:22.060 I don't know.

00:22:23.280 You don't know?

00:22:23.820 Do you, are you married?

00:22:25.400 No, no, I'm, I was, but now I'm not.

00:22:28.280 Do you believe that, that there's a lid for every pot belly?

00:22:32.080 Or do you think some people should just be left alone?

00:22:37.240 I, you know, there's, well, you're biased.

00:22:40.260 There's a lot of, um, there's a lot of, I, I see a lot of people, couples.

00:22:46.840 Where you kind of go, Oh, look at that guy.

00:22:49.240 And then you go, Oh, look at, Oh, okay.

00:22:52.320 So, you know, I, I think everyone does that, but we don't know if people are doing it to

00:22:58.020 us.

00:22:58.520 So what, what it is, is you want to stay within about two points of your own score.

00:23:09.480 Like, you don't, what do you mean when you pursue someone?

00:23:12.660 Well, if you're all the guys that are fours want the 10. 0.97

00:23:16.840 Well, if they've got money, they can get the 10.

00:23:19.080 I know, but the 10 wises up at some point and leaves.

00:23:22.840 You want to go up two points.

00:23:24.900 Don't go up seven points.

00:23:26.840 But don't you go up points if you have money?

00:23:28.780 Like, aren't you going to four become a seven?

00:23:30.060 Well, for guys, it's, it's, it's, it's money, but it's, it's also a sense of humor and there's,

00:23:38.500 there's other things at play that aren't just aesthetic.

00:23:42.780 Right.

00:23:43.660 For women, it's mostly aesthetic mixed with a personality, but the personality doesn't 1.00

00:23:51.260 have to be good.

00:23:52.360 Right. 1.00

00:23:52.500 You just have to not be a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:23:54.720 Right. 1.00

00:23:55.280 Like where you go, I could, like, like where you go, oh yeah, I can, I can bring her anywhere.

00:24:00.700 She just shuts up the whole time. 1.00

00:24:02.200 It's awesome.

00:24:03.360 I've heard guys say that.

00:24:04.680 Yeah, I know.

00:24:04.940 It's horrible.

00:24:05.360 I would never say that.

00:24:08.420 But I mean, you go like, yeah, she can watch football with us.

00:24:11.000 She's not going to hassle us.

00:24:12.900 She won't say nothing.

00:24:14.120 Those are the best.

00:24:14.720 Yeah.

00:24:14.960 Those are the best.

00:24:15.740 The best wives.

00:24:16.720 Well, no, you want, I think guys, guys do want easy.

00:24:20.620 You know what I mean?

00:24:21.300 Yeah.

00:24:21.760 That's what we want.

00:24:22.780 Not all guys.

00:24:24.040 Labrador, easy.

00:24:25.320 You know, I love a lab. 0.99

00:24:27.100 I don't know what in the fuck I was after. 0.98

00:24:29.680 I really know that I was just in the wrong, always in the wrong. 0.99

00:24:34.400 I had for what the fuck I was doing. 0.98

00:24:37.780 That's what I liked when we first were talking about the bombardment of 1,000 thoughts per second. 0.98

00:24:44.660 How do you live with that, besides being on the podcast every day?

00:24:50.060 You know, what I do is I usually travel around with a buck slip, which is like sort of a cardboard card that's maybe four inches wide and eight or nine inches long.

00:25:04.100 And I have a pen and I have a pen or I have a slip on me and I just jot stuff like all the time.

00:25:10.900 Just jot, jot, jot, note, note, note.

00:25:13.160 And then I start to take the notes and I start to put them together, you know, and then I voice them out loud on the podcast.

00:25:22.600 And then some of them I go, oh, okay, yeah, that might be worth repeating, you know, and maybe I can find some rhyme or reason to it.

00:25:31.580 So I look at it as something that used to be a liability for me that I'm trying to turn into a positive.

00:25:44.880 So why did you look at it as a liability?

00:25:48.680 Well, I didn't, I didn't necessarily look at it as a liability, but those around me look at it as a liability.

00:25:59.360 Why?

00:25:59.620 I don't get that.

00:26:00.380 Well, okay.

00:26:01.200 I mean, maybe it's like me.

00:26:02.480 I want to hear what you say.

00:26:03.560 I go through formal education, which is just warehousing at LA Unified School District, and I'm told I'm disruptive to quiet, sit down, quiet, you know, quiet, you know.

00:26:15.920 So every one of my report card has a U on it.

00:26:19.440 Yeah, me too.

00:26:19.760 And it says disruptive, disruptive, disruptive. 0.99

00:26:22.840 So it was like, hey, shut up, just shut up and be a good student or stop talking, stop cracking wise. 0.97

00:26:29.220 So, okay, so it wasn't great scholastically. 0.99

00:26:33.300 Okay.

00:26:33.740 And then at some point, you know, I went to, my buddies were like meatheads from the valley, you know, and I'd be like, I don't get it.

00:26:44.180 Is it a sofa?

00:26:45.520 Is it a couch?

00:26:46.560 Why do we have two different names?

00:26:48.020 Is there a difference between a sofa and a couch?

00:26:50.000 And then what about curtains and drapes?

00:26:51.900 Is there a difference between drapes?

00:26:53.500 They go, I don't know. 1.00

00:26:54.480 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:26:55.600 We're trying to get laid. 1.00

00:26:56.580 And I'd go, I don't know.

00:26:58.840 I'm just, it's a sofa on the couch.

00:27:00.180 It's weird, right?

00:27:00.820 Maybe it's an East Coast thing.

00:27:01.800 And they go, we don't know. 1.00

00:27:02.800 Now shut up. 0.98

00:27:03.760 And that's basically all my friends. 1.00

00:27:06.420 And then they start punching you.

00:27:08.040 And then later I ended up on a construction site.

00:27:12.340 And that, you know, most of the guys I worked with spoke Spanish, you know, and the other guys were just meatheads named Mike who wanted to go to the river and get on their jet ski.

00:27:23.100 And I was trying out this, these ideas and these thoughts and try to connect these ideas.

00:27:28.960 And they were all like, who cares? 0.98

00:27:31.840 Shut up. 0.99

00:27:33.100 And, and by the way, get to work. 1.00

00:27:35.860 Like you can't stand, we're not talking. 1.00

00:27:38.800 We're hanging drywall, idiot. 1.00

00:27:40.620 Get to hanging drywall. 1.00

00:27:41.880 And then they'd just go turn up the REO Speedwagon on the boombox and that was it.

00:27:48.500 So I just sat alone, you know.

00:27:50.560 So it wasn't really something I got, I could get paid for.

00:27:55.360 It was more of a sort of liability for the first half of my life.

00:28:00.460 But my family was like, didn't care about any of that talk either.

00:28:04.520 So they didn't listen or anything.

00:28:06.720 So it was just, it was considered sort of a, yeah, for me it was a liability, I would say, you know, at the beginning for a long time.

00:28:15.600 Do you think that all of us comics have some sort of, we have something wrong with us.

00:28:21.320 I call it a, it's kind of a bacterium or something.

00:28:25.080 It doesn't let loose of us our whole life.

00:28:27.400 It's just always in there gnawing, gnawing, gnawing away at everything.

00:28:32.120 The desire to turn everything into a silly joke or take it apart and put it back together again and have it make sense.

00:28:38.960 Hi everybody, it's me, Roseanne Barr.

00:28:41.920 Listen up now, because you know the world is way nuts these days and I'm not about to sit around unprepared.

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00:28:51.620 You heard me, Berna.

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00:30:15.100 Berna, less lethal, the alternative to deadly force.

00:30:21.340 That bacterium thing we have.

00:30:24.740 Yeah.

00:30:24.920 Yeah, I'm, well, I'm a curious person and wants to kind of know how things work.

00:30:30.880 It's not, for me, it's not all verbal.

00:30:35.520 I'm very mechanical and I like building houses and working on cars and racing cars and stuff like that.

00:30:42.160 I'm very interested in architecture and structure and engineering and stuff like that.

00:30:47.800 So, I'm just sort of interested whether it's silent and I'm trying to build something.

00:30:53.700 Do you think you're autistic or on the spectrum?

00:30:55.800 Um, I've, I've been known to, I have a tendency to close my eyes when people are talking.

00:31:06.960 I do it normally to ingest more of the information.

00:31:12.260 I get that, me too.

00:31:13.460 And I wouldn't close my eyes if you and I were eating lunch.

00:31:17.860 But if you said, you know, if I said to you, oh, I got a flight at two o'clock and I got to get to the American Airlines terminal.

00:31:28.880 And you said, oh, go down to Arch Drive and take a right on Sepulveda.

00:31:35.740 I would do this.

00:31:36.320 Yeah, me too.

00:31:37.140 You have to visualize it.

00:31:38.440 Yeah.

00:31:38.800 Especially directions.

00:31:40.060 I want to hear you.

00:31:40.680 So, I don't, my thing is, I don't want to, I don't need to visualize it.

00:31:46.680 What I need to do is not have you talk and then me go, who's that kid in that picture?

00:31:53.080 Like in my head, like right in the middle.

00:31:55.560 You're talking about focusing down, right?

00:31:57.800 Yeah, that guy's wearing a John Elway jersey, isn't he?

00:32:00.760 And then you'd be right in the middle of your, and it would pull me out.

00:32:03.740 You're better off not taking anything in but your words, you know?

00:32:08.360 Yeah.

00:32:08.500 So, I do close my eyes.

00:32:10.420 Deep focus, right?

00:32:12.220 Yeah, people think I have stuff, but, you know, my feeling is, look, if everyone's on 1.00

00:32:19.240 the spectrum, then fuck it. 0.98

00:32:20.740 Then I guess we're all on the spectrum of something. 1.00

00:32:22.980 Well, I think we are. 1.00

00:32:24.320 We're all fucking crazy or something. 0.99

00:32:27.200 But I might tell you. 1.00

00:32:27.920 I don't know.

00:32:28.040 I think I.

00:32:29.000 You are. 0.77

00:32:29.780 One of the hallmarks of being crazy is thinking you're sane, but I, I think of myself as one 0.95

00:32:34.920 of the sanest people alive. 0.75

00:32:36.120 Oh, you are.

00:32:36.820 But here's what I see in you.

00:32:39.240 Okay.

00:32:40.120 From.

00:32:40.520 I'm, I'm really sane when people figure that out.

00:32:44.220 Do you want a Kleenex?

00:32:45.740 Oh, yeah.

00:32:46.180 I'll take it.

00:32:47.340 When people figure out that I'm the most sane, it freaks them out.

00:32:50.520 But, you know, you, you, you take systems apart.

00:32:54.960 That's what I love when you take the California liberal system apart, which you do better than

00:33:00.780 anybody.

00:33:01.480 Like, thank you so much for your interview with, uh, what's his name?

00:33:06.920 Gavin Newsom.

00:33:07.620 Oh, my God.

00:33:09.220 A couple of them.

00:33:09.580 He's.

00:33:10.040 Yeah.

00:33:10.340 A few of them.

00:33:10.900 Yeah.

00:33:10.960 A few of them.

00:33:11.520 Yeah.

00:33:11.760 But he is a complete, uh.

00:33:15.460 Sociopath?

00:33:16.000 Well, he's a bot.

00:33:17.740 He's a, like, cyborg.

00:33:18.640 There's something off, there's something wrong with him.

00:33:20.640 Yeah.

00:33:21.000 There's something off.

00:33:22.920 I mean, I guess I, I would say, cause I sat with him for an hour and haven't had a conversation

00:33:28.700 with him.

00:33:29.460 And when people go, well, what's he like, or he's like a used car salesman or something

00:33:34.240 like that.

00:33:34.760 I just go, no, something's wrong with him though.

00:33:36.620 Definitely.

00:33:37.200 Yeah.

00:33:37.700 Deeply wrong with him.

00:33:39.460 Um, yeah, he tried to, I literally was thinking about last night and it's so funny.

00:33:46.720 We talk about, I had to get up this morning.

00:33:48.700 I'm like, ah, my biggest problem is when I'm laying in bed at three 30 in the morning and

00:33:53.100 something pops in my head.

00:33:54.480 I go, I don't have a notepad.

00:33:56.320 I don't want to get up.

00:33:57.980 Oh, okay.

00:33:58.860 I got to piss.

00:33:59.720 All right.

00:34:00.040 I guess I could piggyback this note onto taking a leak.

00:34:04.040 But.

00:34:04.260 Cause if you don't write it back, you'll, you'll forget it.

00:34:06.820 Right.

00:34:07.200 I was, I was thinking about that interview I did with Gavin Newsom and, and, and people

00:34:12.300 remember the part where he was trying to tell me that half the black and half the Latino

00:34:18.140 people in California don't have access to a checking account access.

00:34:23.020 Like you can't, they can't get one that have access to ID.

00:34:27.080 You know, first off, it's the most racist thing in the world. 0.95

00:34:29.460 Like black people can't walk to a bank and get a toaster and sign up for a checking account. 1.00

00:34:34.480 But anyway, he's lying. 0.98

00:34:35.820 And half of Los Angeles is Latino.

00:34:39.300 So if half of Latinos don't have access to a checking account, that's a lot of people.

00:34:44.700 Number one, number two, if you want a checking account, you can get a checking account.

00:34:49.540 If you don't, and you just want to sell hot dogs with bacon wrapped around it, and you

00:34:53.100 want to work in cash and you don't want to leave a footprint of your accounting, well,

00:34:58.480 then you would choose not to get a checking account, but that's not, not having access.

00:35:02.840 Right.

00:35:03.280 Exactly.

00:35:03.560 But anyway, he's lying.

00:35:05.100 And so I grilled him on that.

00:35:07.200 But, which was fun.

00:35:09.720 Nobody who didn't come from a blue collar background could have known that.

00:35:14.500 Yeah.

00:35:14.920 Well, I grew up here.

00:35:15.760 I know.

00:35:16.160 That's why I love that you said that to him.

00:35:19.120 But he also said, what popped in my head at three in the morning last night is in that

00:35:25.480 interview, there's a lot of other stuff in that interview.

00:35:28.260 And, you know, I said, look, I just want government to work big to small.

00:35:32.860 We'll take care of the big stuff and we'll get to the nonsense, you know, LGBT, trans community. 1.00

00:35:39.180 Like these are small things.

00:35:40.580 We, we got big things like infrastructure and aqueducts and stuff.

00:35:43.960 And he looked at me because he's such a politician.

00:35:46.640 It's so funny.

00:35:47.620 He goes, you know what, Adam?

00:35:49.340 I like to work small to big.

00:35:52.420 And he did it like there was going to be an applause break, you know, which it doesn't

00:35:57.040 make sense, by the way.

00:35:58.080 I like to work small to big.

00:35:58.980 But I was laying in bed last night and I went, oh yeah, you like to work delta smelt.

00:36:05.860 And if you get the delta smelt situation, small thing taken care of, then we'll get to the

00:36:10.600 forest fire.

00:36:13.180 So that is, that's the definition of small to big.

00:36:16.940 Small is a three inch fish that no one cares about. 0.99

00:36:21.020 Big is your state's on fucking fire. 1.00

00:36:23.620 That's big. 0.99

00:36:24.740 And there's water.

00:36:25.420 But he liked to work small.

00:36:27.080 Yeah.

00:36:27.460 So that's what he was saying.

00:36:29.060 It is what he was saying.

00:36:29.820 And I just thought, all right, well, he meant it.

00:36:32.160 He cared more about a smelt than the residents of the Palisades. 1.00

00:36:36.840 Well, he who smelt it dealt it.

00:36:38.500 That's right. 0.99

00:36:39.880 But, but yeah, he didn't give a fuck for the living. 0.99

00:36:43.420 He who smelt it dealt it. 1.00

00:36:44.620 No, he who dealt it smelt it.

00:36:46.660 Yeah, but it's the delta smelt that.

00:36:48.180 But it could go the other way too.

00:36:50.340 But he's the one.

00:36:51.060 Call Norm, see, tell him to dig it out.

00:36:52.600 But he's the one who farted.

00:36:55.000 Right. 0.99

00:36:55.560 Gavin laid a big old stanky fart on this whole goddamn, I shouldn't say goddamn. 0.99

00:37:01.900 Everyone's mad at me because I've said that. 1.00

00:37:03.620 On this whole darned state. 0.99

00:37:07.240 He cursed it. 0.99

00:37:09.060 He, him and his aunt Nancy, they, you know, picked its bones dry and put it in their own 0.97

00:37:19.600 pocket, in the pocket of their pervert friends. 0.97

00:37:21.740 And they let it burn.

00:37:23.740 They let it burn because now China can come in and buy it up at two cents an acre or whatever, 0.98

00:37:29.460 like they're trying to do in Hawaii where I live.

00:37:32.560 They, they don't care about American or any living human.

00:37:37.340 I don't, I often times say this to Dr. Drew, I just go, what is the end game?

00:37:45.600 Like, what's the upside?

00:37:47.020 Like, are they, so here's the way, here's the metaphor I would use for Gavin Newsom.

00:37:53.200 It's like, picture Gavin Newsom as a guy you hired to work in your warehouse, right?

00:38:01.040 And he's driving the forklift and you just hear crashing in the back and you go out there

00:38:06.780 and you go, what happened?

00:38:07.840 Oh, the forklift caught the shelf and it knocked it over, but we'll clean it up.

00:38:12.280 And you go, oh, okay, well be careful.

00:38:15.000 Guy makes a lot of mistakes out there.

00:38:16.740 Then you go back in the office and you hear the forklift is bashed through the side of

00:38:21.220 the building.

00:38:21.760 Now there's a big hole in the center block and you're like, what's going on with the

00:38:25.000 forklift?

00:38:25.520 Sorry, man.

00:38:26.380 I thought I was in reverse.

00:38:27.620 I was in Ford, man.

00:38:28.420 It won't happen again.

00:38:29.960 About the third time he plows into your office with the forklift, you go, is he a bad forklift

00:38:37.460 operator or is he trying to destroy this warehouse?

00:38:42.620 And then someone would go, well, he doesn't want to destroy the warehouse.

00:38:46.620 Give him a break.

00:38:47.540 And I'd go, I did used to think that way, but oh, I just heard some more stuff fall over.

00:38:53.300 I'm sorry.

00:38:54.080 I knocked something else. 0.96

00:38:54.760 And I'm like, are you just incompetent or are you trying to ruin this place? 0.96

00:39:01.940 Because I'm not sure. 0.68

00:39:03.420 It's starting to seem like you're trying to ruin this place, but I can't imagine you

00:39:07.840 would be trying to destroy the warehouse.

00:39:10.780 Maybe there's a just mistake, but it's also kind of a weird thing that if people here,

00:39:16.900 here's the job assessment for Gavin Newsom. 0.97

00:39:19.580 Are you evil or are you just super incompetent? 0.98

00:39:24.660 And then people start defending him like, no, he's just super incompetent. 0.99

00:39:28.140 Give him a break.

00:39:29.380 And I'm like, he's running California. 0.91

00:39:31.520 Maybe we get someone who's not evil or incompetent.

00:39:34.740 Like, cause it's the Joe Biden thing.

00:39:37.060 Well, they tried to recall him and he fixed that.

00:39:39.540 I know, but it's like all these people.

00:39:41.580 He was recalled like 20 million to one.

00:39:43.260 Does Joe Biden hate the country?

00:39:45.360 Does he just not know anything?

00:39:46.920 Or does Kamala Harris hate this place? 0.99

00:39:48.700 Is Gavin Newsom hate this place?

00:39:51.940 Or is he just not? 1.00

00:39:53.620 At a certain point, it's either stupid or liar. 1.00

00:39:57.320 It's like at a certain point, just get rid of them. 1.00

00:39:59.200 Yeah, neither are good options.

00:40:00.620 Both bad options.

00:40:02.080 You still have a warehouse that's in disrepair because this guy either can't drive a forklift

00:40:10.160 or he hates your guts and is smashing everything with a forklift. 0.81

00:40:15.160 I don't know what it is.

00:40:16.260 I do, or he's getting paid from an un-yet-built warehouse that's going to be bigger and better

00:40:27.980 than your warehouse and they're going to buy everything in your warehouse for pennies on

00:40:33.660 the dollar.

00:40:34.580 Is it that?

00:40:35.540 Yeah.

00:40:35.840 Are we there?

00:40:36.720 Is it that bad?

00:40:37.900 Yeah.

00:40:38.000 See, my thing is I never think that way.

00:40:42.200 No, but that is how it is.

00:40:43.560 That's what our form of capitalism does.

00:40:47.840 It goes wherever there's pools of money and extricates them.

00:40:52.520 I get it.

00:40:53.620 It has nothing to do with morals or nothing.

00:40:55.520 No, listen.

00:40:56.320 I get it.

00:40:57.340 And they ran out of other places to bleed, so they came back home because this is where

00:41:02.520 the money is.

00:41:03.460 And thank God we got Trump and he'll save some of it before they send it to Dubai or Ukraine

00:41:10.520 or other places they're building their dream sex islands at with our money. 1.00

00:41:16.300 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:16.600 Oh, pedophiles. 1.00

00:41:18.000 Oh, hell yeah. 1.00

00:41:19.480 See, I never go there.

00:41:21.120 I never think that.

00:41:23.500 Not yet.

00:41:24.360 Not yet.

00:41:24.620 Because they're that evil because that's who they are.

00:41:28.220 No, listen.

00:41:28.980 I am naive.

00:41:31.100 I know.

00:41:31.500 In the sense that-

00:41:32.640 But you're sweet.

00:41:33.640 I just go, who would do that to somebody?

00:41:35.960 Like, why would you do that?

00:41:36.860 It's not your job.

00:41:37.660 It's your job to run the state.

00:41:39.060 Do the best job you can. 1.00

00:41:40.320 Because the people who pay them, you know, they're all prostitutes. 0.97

00:41:45.120 And the people who's paying them who have all the money, they want the American farmlands. 1.00

00:41:51.520 God, you know, they're going to be able to feed their billions of frigging slaves. 1.00

00:41:55.860 They want the American farmlands. 0.96

00:41:58.100 Well, where do you come down on Bill Gates?

00:42:01.440 Well, I don't want to have Hillary Clinton get at me or none of them. 0.98

00:42:07.980 So I'm just going to say like this.

00:42:10.060 I hope here, because I'm a religious woman.

00:42:12.520 I hope Bill Gates says his prayers tonight and asks God to remove his body from this earth before the law gets a hold of him.

00:42:20.920 And I would double those prayers to God for him, that God remove him safe and in one piece before the law of the people of this world gets a hold of him for what he's done.

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00:44:08.600 He's a Nazi criminal, 100 times worse than Stalin, 100 times worse than Hitler. 0.96

00:44:14.820 There's nobody as bad as Bill Gates. 1.00

00:44:16.900 He purposely figured out how to kill people and make money off it.

00:44:21.280 Like you're talking about making money on a podcast. 1.00

00:44:24.360 This fucker spends his whole time, how do I kill a whole bunch of kids and get rich off it? 1.00

00:44:29.140 And then maybe take their body parts and smash them up and make hamburger meat out of it for my new fucking Bill Gates burger meat. 1.00

00:44:38.680 I'm telling you, he does. 0.99

00:44:40.740 Other than that, any thoughts about Bill Gates?

00:44:43.380 So you don't like him?

00:44:44.940 Bill Gates sells fetus parts in his meat.

00:44:49.540 His protein meat.

00:44:51.140 Soylent green.

00:44:52.320 It is soylent green.

00:44:53.460 He is soylent green.

00:44:55.100 Wow.

00:44:55.880 Deep 70s cut.

00:44:57.600 And then what about Epstein's list?

00:45:01.020 Yeah.

00:45:01.360 When are we going to see that, Trump?

00:45:03.580 Trump's going to, check this out. 0.98

00:45:05.180 Trump is going to declassify Kennedy, MLK, and Bobby Jr.'s assassination before the fucking Epstein list. 0.99

00:45:13.440 What does that say? 0.98

00:45:15.300 Nah, come on.

00:45:16.120 Epstein list could be problematic for some people.

00:45:19.940 Everybody in Congress went.

00:45:21.840 I've seen the Epstein list.

00:45:23.360 Oh, you have?

00:45:23.820 Yeah.

00:45:24.660 Is it here?

00:45:25.200 Everybody, you have to go through Brussels to get it.

00:45:29.140 I have it.

00:45:29.700 I'll give it to you.

00:45:30.420 Real right now.

00:45:30.840 Really?

00:45:31.580 No, I have it.

00:45:32.380 You go to Brussels.

00:45:33.620 Really?

00:45:33.980 You know where they got Jack Smith and that court, the Hague and everything, it's there too.

00:45:37.980 Really?

00:45:38.460 Yeah, it's in all, everything having to do with those bank transfers.

00:45:42.000 Wow. 0.99

00:45:42.320 But, every fucking buddy in Congress, every fucking buddy in government, maybe, maybe, maybe 10 didn't go. 1.00

00:45:54.580 Hollywood, everybody. 1.00

00:45:57.420 Diddy, the whole Diddy thing, all of them.

00:46:01.540 Everybody went.

00:46:02.280 Not just America.

00:46:03.860 World governments.

00:46:04.620 World governments.

00:46:06.700 World intelligence.

00:46:07.600 I feel like there's...

00:46:08.400 World intelligence.

00:46:09.600 All, it was a war, it was to trap other intelligence.

00:46:14.060 Well, it makes, I mean, it makes perfect sense that once you do the honeypot thing and you get the goods on somebody, and then those people do your bidding, for sure. 0.87

00:46:25.320 And, I mean, I was always down with the fact that Hunter Biden was corrupt and Joe Biden is definitely corrupt and all that.

00:46:33.960 But, the next level is, is he doing the bidding?

00:46:38.900 Was Biden doing the bidding for these governments?

00:46:42.980 Yeah.

00:46:43.100 And then you sort of get to that, back to the forklift operator. 0.56

00:46:46.960 Like, or is he just a totally incompetent, senile old man who doesn't know what he's doing? 0.97

00:46:51.680 Well, he's the leader of a criminal cabal. 0.99

00:46:54.020 Yeah.

00:46:54.200 Like, him and his son was trying to start a Burisma oil company over there in the Ukraine.

00:47:00.420 He did start it.

00:47:00.740 Of course he doesn't want Trump's drill, baby drill.

00:47:04.540 Yeah.

00:47:04.940 You know, it's just all criminal. 1.00

00:47:06.440 A criminal, mafia, RICO, scam, this whole fucking government. 1.00

00:47:11.420 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:11.600 Everything evil on earth, there's one answer to it. 1.00

00:47:15.140 The American fucking government did it. 1.00

00:47:18.220 And the rest of the shit was them trying to cover up that fact. 1.00

00:47:21.280 The fucking CIA, all of those guys, they're all in bed with MI6, Mossad, you know, the Iranian 1.00

00:47:31.900 Republic. 1.00

00:47:33.420 They're fucking soldiers. 1.00

00:47:34.880 It's all the same fucking thing. 1.00

00:47:37.540 They're all just trying to lock down the population worldwide and take all the money. 0.99

00:47:43.320 And, obviously, Trump just seemed like a giant disruptor and potential threat to that world

00:47:56.960 order, is what you're saying.

00:47:58.340 Well, I mean, what I read is that, you know, the military, the real generals, not Trump calls

00:48:09.060 them the TV generals, not them like Millie, and the military, as I call it.

00:48:14.040 But Trump says, and it's in government stuff, you know, that, you know, certain generals

00:48:22.760 that were very concerned about where our country was headed, they asked Trump to run.

00:48:28.580 And so they had a plan, and they wrote the Law of War manual in 2015, incorporating all

00:48:40.840 these laws from the Nuremberg trials and all of them to, you know, not bring a new world

00:48:47.140 order, but to try to get rid of the filth in this world.

00:48:52.240 The filthy stuff that they got information about from laptops of certain people, they confiscated

00:49:03.260 way back when, like the first HSBC bank hack, 2006.

00:49:10.420 They knew then about Epstein.

00:49:13.260 They knew what our government was involved in.

00:49:15.780 They knew that all these undeclared wars were just, you know, ways for private contractors

00:49:23.420 to set up their own countries, bleed the American taxpayers into thinking.

00:49:29.380 Just horror.

00:49:30.900 Just horror.

00:49:32.260 It's really, it's disappointing.

00:49:35.900 Adults are disappointing. 0.99

00:49:37.480 Aren't they?

00:49:37.740 I've had that thought for a long time, like, wow, what happened to adults?

00:49:41.420 You know, when I was a kid, and there'd be one, you know, one of your dad's friends, you're

00:49:45.960 like, oh, Mr. Hughes, that's a good man, right?

00:49:48.460 Yeah.

00:49:48.760 You know, like, you thought he was competent, thought he knew what he was doing.

00:49:52.040 I guess he didn't.

00:49:53.140 Maybe they never did. 1.00

00:49:54.820 But as I now think about it, I run into so many stupid adults, and I'm like, what the 1.00

00:50:01.560 fuck happened? 1.00

00:50:02.440 How did you get this dumb? 1.00

00:50:04.260 And why are there so many of you? 1.00

00:50:06.600 And why are the rest evil?

00:50:08.580 Like, what's going on?

00:50:10.460 You know, for me, it's like frivolous lawsuits.

00:50:16.260 It's like, what are you doing?

00:50:17.980 I'm suing Lyft because I'm morbidly obese, and they wouldn't pick me up.

00:50:21.920 I saw that today.

00:50:23.200 All right, we'll lose some weight then.

00:50:24.960 Then this is embarrassing.

00:50:26.780 What are you doing?

00:50:28.480 And it's like, why aren't you humiliated?

00:50:32.740 You're an adult.

00:50:34.340 Where's your dignity?

00:50:35.480 Find a mirror and a therapist.

00:50:39.500 Yeah.

00:50:39.700 Put them in the same room.

00:50:41.120 Yeah.

00:50:41.440 And sort it out.

00:50:42.660 But that's why I call it the age of the vampire and why they force all those vampire movies

00:50:47.540 down our throats, right?

00:50:48.540 All these years. 0.89

00:50:49.640 Because vampires lack self-reflection. 0.84

00:50:52.860 And so do those obese people. 1.00

00:50:55.180 And so do those guys that think, you know, their penis is feminine or shit. 1.00

00:50:59.660 They have no self-reflection. 1.00

00:51:01.560 And we were kind of farmed to think that way.

00:51:05.980 Like, it's somebody else's fault.

00:51:07.460 They're stopping me.

00:51:09.160 It's not me. 0.99

00:51:10.320 I'm not fucked up. 0.98

00:51:11.500 Everybody else is. 0.97

00:51:12.380 Well, you know, it's weird.

00:51:14.780 Speaking of obesity, I was watching Lizzo.

00:51:19.840 Oh, don't get me going off on Lizzo.

00:51:23.620 Lizzo.

00:51:24.060 What if Bill Gates and Lizzo had a child?

00:51:27.660 Oh.

00:51:29.100 Now, Lizzo has hit her target weight.

00:51:34.160 She has.

00:51:34.660 She lost a lot of weight.

00:51:35.820 She lost a lot of weight.

00:51:37.020 But I want to say this, and I hope you take this in the spirit, which it's intended.

00:51:41.040 I hope I do, too. 0.99

00:51:42.380 There's a lot of fat asses who are like 300 pounds. 1.00

00:51:45.740 You know, it's a woman who's 5'3", and she's 320 pounds. 1.00

00:51:48.860 She goes, my target weight, 195. 1.00

00:51:51.700 It's like, bitch, you're still fat. 1.00

00:51:53.700 I know for you, you dropped $1.25, but I don't know you. 1.00

00:51:58.540 I just saw, I'm behind you at the mall, and you're still looking big to me.

00:52:02.020 But so they get to their target weight.

00:52:03.580 Now, they don't do their target weight at 130, because that's too big a, that's a bridge too far.

00:52:08.880 Well, maybe they have two target weights.

00:52:10.440 Two target weights is good.

00:52:12.200 I agree.

00:52:13.620 But Lizzo announced that she hit her target weight.

00:52:18.760 And now she's done?

00:52:19.500 Did she say she's done?

00:52:20.780 No, I didn't ask about the secondary.

00:52:23.020 They didn't inquire about her secondary target weight.

00:52:26.600 But yeah, she should.

00:52:27.760 Yeah, now you've got to get from 180 down to 140.

00:52:30.860 That's the next target.

00:52:31.960 But here's the whole point.

00:52:34.280 Lizzo's been preaching about how big is beautiful and how she's fine, and nobody should tell her how to dress or look or anything, and no one can fat shame anyone.

00:52:43.700 Well, then why are you bragging so much about dropping 150 pounds if the way you were was beautiful and no one should be able to shame you?

00:52:52.500 Why are you now yelling into a camera wearing a unitard that you've dropped 150 pounds?

00:52:58.720 So which is it?

00:52:59.660 Is big, beautiful, and should you be left alone?

00:53:02.560 Or should we be celebrating that you dropped 150 pounds, which is basically what we were saying when you were fat?

00:53:09.240 Yeah, that's right.

00:53:10.220 So which is it, Lizzo? 1.00

00:53:12.080 I went after that fat fucking bitch, remember, in my stand-up. 1.00

00:53:16.100 I go, she's reaping the benefits that I had to pay the cost for. 1.00

00:53:20.480 They was calling me a cow and a pig and all that shit on all the news covers and stuff, and fat pig, Roseanne, Roseanne. 0.99

00:53:30.660 You know, Mad Magazine did a takeoff of me, which was an honor, but it showed me, like, eating a whole cow and stuff. 1.00

00:53:37.040 Gross animals.

00:53:37.760 It was all fat jokes. 0.99

00:53:39.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:39.760 But I just laughed it off. 0.99

00:53:42.120 I didn't get a fucking whole goddamn NGO for the UN out of it. 0.99

00:53:46.440 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:46.740 I didn't cry my fucking self to sleep. 0.99

00:53:49.480 No, I agree. 1.00

00:53:50.140 I just go, I am fat. 0.94

00:53:51.260 You know, I am fat, and I'm not going to bitch about it, and I'm not going to, you know, apologize for it, because a lot of people are fat. 0.91

00:53:59.660 Yeah, a lot of people are fat, and there's a lot of fat, funny people. 0.89

00:54:03.600 It makes you funny. 0.78

00:54:04.500 I know, but it's sad when fat, funny people die, because fat people do die early, and nobody will say that.

00:54:11.480 But, like, look at all our favorite fat comics that have died.

00:54:16.160 Yep.

00:54:16.680 Ralphie Mae.

00:54:18.080 Ralphie Mae was so funny. 0.99

00:54:19.260 Farley.

00:54:20.540 Farley.

00:54:21.320 John Panet.

00:54:22.400 John Panet.

00:54:23.280 Or Panette, sorry.

00:54:24.380 Panette, what's his name, too?

00:54:25.840 I Frenched him up.

00:54:26.860 I'll tell you.

00:54:27.300 Robin.

00:54:28.100 Robin Harris. 0.93

00:54:29.060 He was fat. 0.59

00:54:30.000 Yeah, I'll tell you what's sad.

00:54:31.640 What I don't like is what they did to Mama Cass Elliot.

00:54:36.720 I know.

00:54:37.180 Because they made fun of her for being fat the whole time, and then she died, and they're, like, choked on a ham sandwich.

00:54:44.600 But she didn't, you know.

00:54:45.600 I know. 1.00

00:54:46.360 Let her die. 1.00

00:54:47.940 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:54:48.160 She didn't choke on a ham sandwich.

00:54:49.920 I'm just saying.

00:54:50.860 I know, but that's what they keep saying.

00:54:52.540 I know.

00:54:53.260 If I die in a car accident, I don't want them to go, Corolla died beating off.

00:54:58.680 Do you know why they said that they say she died on a ham sandwich?

00:55:03.380 Because she had a kid, and they didn't want to say she died choking on her own vomit from drugs.

00:55:10.100 Oh, yeah?

00:55:10.400 So they changed it to be nice.

00:55:12.760 Oh, they did?

00:55:13.460 To be nice.

00:55:14.200 I didn't know that.

00:55:15.440 I'm friends with her daughter.

00:55:16.100 They said choked on a ham sandwich to be nice for the sake of her child. 1.00

00:55:20.800 And then it became a joke.

00:55:22.340 Oh, I didn't know they were trying to protect the child.

00:55:25.460 Well, in their mind.

00:55:26.440 In their minds.

00:55:27.440 Well, no.

00:55:28.740 I mean, okay.

00:55:29.540 So maybe their heart was in the right place.

00:55:31.600 Not.

00:55:32.040 And that child went on to be the founding member of Wilson Phillips.

00:55:38.280 One of them.

00:55:39.480 One of them.

00:55:40.960 That wasn't her daughter.

00:55:43.100 I don't know.

00:55:44.000 No, it was John Phillips, and then Mackenzie Phillips. 0.99

00:55:48.320 And John Phillips was fucking his own daughter, Mackenzie Phillips. 0.99

00:55:51.620 Did you hear about that? 1.00

00:55:53.120 She said it herself in her book.

00:55:55.140 As an adult. 0.93

00:55:56.200 Yeah, they were having sex, her and her dad. 0.96

00:55:59.160 As an adult. 0.96

00:56:00.140 Ew, you can never listen to Monday, Monday.

00:56:04.780 Well, I got a couple thoughts.

00:56:06.540 One is, I couldn't imagine Jim Carolla banging me.

00:56:14.860 Anyway.

00:56:16.620 I had to go there for a second.

00:56:18.860 As an adult.

00:56:20.200 How horrifying.

00:56:20.960 How horrifying.

00:56:21.760 Okay.

00:56:22.860 She was on.

00:56:24.520 I have many thoughts.

00:56:25.820 Yeah.

00:56:26.940 A, she was on Oprah. 0.93

00:56:29.540 And she was like, I had consensual sex as an adult with my father. 0.72

00:56:34.720 Yeah. 0.61

00:56:34.900 And I'm saying it because I know there's a lot of others out there.

00:56:38.240 Am I right?

00:56:38.960 Are there women out there? 1.00

00:56:40.400 And the whole audience is going, I don't know.

00:56:43.440 No.

00:56:44.060 No. 0.77

00:56:44.320 No one's had consensual sex with their dad.

00:56:46.540 Not.

00:56:46.960 There's 85 people in the audience. 0.59

00:56:48.800 I don't think 40% of them have had consensual sex with their dad.

00:56:53.280 So, the whole audience was like, nope.

00:56:56.700 But then, when I was recording my audio book, my book, In 50 Years' Wallaby Chips.

00:57:04.000 I love that book so much.

00:57:05.440 Yeah, great book.

00:57:06.240 Hey, now let's be real. 0.98

00:57:08.740 Doing laundry sucks. 0.89

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00:57:14.480 And all those chemicals you don't really need.

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00:57:21.360 It's so smart.

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00:57:31.240 And it's hypoallergenic, too.

00:57:35.240 So, no irritation, no itching, none of that.

00:57:38.360 I'm a big believer in making life easier.

00:57:41.840 And EarthBreeze does keep it simple.

00:57:44.760 So, here's your deal.

00:57:45.660 Go to earthbreeze.com forward slash Roseanne for 40% off on your subscription.

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00:58:08.980 Oh, thanks.

00:58:09.980 Yeah.

00:58:10.240 People think it's funny.

00:58:11.300 I'm happy they do.

00:58:12.000 It's so funny.

00:58:12.700 I was doing the audio book for that book.

00:58:17.300 I've never done an audio.

00:58:18.460 I never wrote a book.

00:58:19.420 I never did an audio book.

00:58:20.480 And my book came out about the time Mackenzie Phillips was on there.

00:58:24.660 So, I'm like sitting there doing the audio book.

00:58:27.460 And I'm just sitting in some recording studio.

00:58:29.700 There's like two dudes just standing behind the glass there just looking at me sort of dead face.

00:58:34.980 And I'm just reading my book in a microphone.

00:58:36.600 And then I realized Mackenzie Phillips is going to have to do the audio book.

00:58:41.100 And she's going to be looking at some guy that looks like your son. 0.68

00:58:43.940 He's going to go.

00:58:44.440 And then my dad came into the room.

00:58:45.980 And he was wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

00:58:48.140 And he touched my thigh.

00:58:49.700 And it felt good.

00:58:50.740 And that person, the engineer just looks at you reading the book.

00:58:57.720 And she's going to go into detail about having intercourse with her dad with some dude who gets $31 an hour just behind the glass.

00:59:05.660 And she's just staring at her the whole time. 0.96

00:59:08.520 That's like being a predator.

00:59:10.980 You've got to hang a beach towel up, right?

00:59:13.560 For that portion of the book.

00:59:15.480 And then.

00:59:16.460 Or blur his.

00:59:17.620 I guess he has to hear it.

00:59:18.860 And then I went to.

00:59:20.780 I'm thinking of a second take, too, if he doesn't record it and she'll do it again.

00:59:24.280 I went to California Adventure Center with my family.

00:59:30.020 And I had like my six-year-old daughter on my lap.

00:59:33.920 And I was sitting there on a bench.

00:59:35.480 And I hear, California dreaming on such a winter.

00:59:40.180 And I'm like, you've got to pull the mamas and the papas out of the rotation after these allegations. 1.00

00:59:46.000 Right, Disneyland?

00:59:47.540 I mean, come on.

00:59:48.720 These are dads with their daughters.

00:59:51.480 Papa John.

00:59:53.100 Pull it.

00:59:54.200 I agree.

00:59:54.900 But then you'd have no music or anything at Disneyland if you pulled all that.

00:59:57.980 Then they had to pull Michael Jackson, too.

01:00:00.020 Do you remember how it was all kind of, it was all around Michael Jackson.

01:00:04.020 He was in those booths.

01:00:06.300 You'd go in and they'd talk about high tech.

01:00:08.780 That was all like about Michael Jackson.

01:00:10.540 He was very into the high tech at Disneyland.

01:00:13.840 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:00:16.220 Stupid Disneyland. 1.00

01:00:17.340 I had to pay for that, to have the guide, you know, for 600 bucks an hour. 1.00

01:00:22.920 Oh, yeah.

01:00:23.420 I always had to do that, too.

01:00:25.260 But at least you get on the rides early.

01:00:28.140 Yeah.

01:00:28.580 It's worth it.

01:00:29.580 Everybody hates you, though.

01:00:31.000 I hate that feeling.

01:00:31.440 Yeah, everyone hates you.

01:00:32.040 It was so funny.

01:00:33.100 I said, my wife at the time pitched the guide, you know, and first thing out of my mouth

01:00:42.420 is I'm not walking to the front of the line in front of people who have been waiting for

01:00:47.220 two hours and just stepping right in front of some veteran in a wheelchair so I can get

01:00:53.020 on to Splash Mountain before him.

01:00:56.680 And so it's so funny.

01:00:58.180 This is kind of my adult life.

01:00:59.960 Really, my adult life.

01:01:00.980 I go, listen, I'm just, I am not comfortable with walking to the front of the line and stepping

01:01:07.540 in front of people and getting on first.

01:01:09.320 I'm just, it's going to feel real weird.

01:01:11.380 I don't, I just don't want to do that.

01:01:12.820 It's not the money.

01:01:13.860 It's that part.

01:01:15.020 And then my wife, I think, goes, oh, no, they got a separate entrance so you can come

01:01:21.160 in the whatever thing.

01:01:22.460 And I go, okay, separate entrance.

01:01:25.820 Yeah.

01:01:26.120 Yeah.

01:01:26.360 So they don't, not everyone's going to, in line, watch as you walk to the front of

01:01:31.260 the line.

01:01:31.740 No, no, no.

01:01:32.660 You'll just slide into whatever.

01:01:34.240 And I go, okay, then I'll do it.

01:01:36.320 Then I'll do it.

01:01:37.060 And it's a smash cut to where at the park and I was just walking past everyone in line,

01:01:41.680 walk cut right in front of a family with a kid with Down syndrome.

01:01:45.540 You know, out of the way, junior.

01:01:47.260 The guy from the man show needs to get on the toboggan with his white kids. 1.00

01:01:52.060 And I'm like, this is exactly what I said I didn't want. 0.99

01:01:57.120 And I realized people just tell me shit to get me to go away. 0.98

01:02:00.900 Like, yeah, no, no, separate entrance. 0.99

01:02:02.480 No one's ever going to know.

01:02:03.640 And I go, oh, okay, then I'll do it.

01:02:05.400 And then we get to the place and we're kind of doing it.

01:02:08.700 And I'm going, but what is this?

01:02:09.900 And they go, yeah, I don't know.

01:02:11.040 And I go, but you said, and they go, yeah, I don't know.

01:02:13.920 We're here.

01:02:15.180 I'm like, okay, so that's how you deal with the truth.

01:02:20.120 And in conversation and reality is like so fast and loose.

01:02:25.100 But I realized that is, you know, possession is nine-tenths of the law.

01:02:29.020 Like, I think most people just kind of go that way.

01:02:31.080 Like, once he gets there, we'll just get him to the front. 0.99

01:02:33.580 What the fuck's he going to do? 0.99

01:02:34.480 We're not going to say anything. 0.99

01:02:35.620 All of show business is like that.

01:02:36.920 Yeah, it's all of show business.

01:02:37.880 Once you get there, it's never what they told you it was.

01:02:41.880 Because I'm like, I don't have to walk through, you know, the crowds like that.

01:02:45.760 Oh, no, no, no.

01:02:47.060 But I always did.

01:02:47.920 Oh, yeah.

01:02:48.480 I always have to stand in line, too.

01:02:50.800 Always have to stand in line in shoes that I'm too fat to be wearing.

01:02:54.780 And so I'm hunching my way to my chair when I finally am seated.

01:02:59.860 I just don't go.

01:03:02.380 Yeah.

01:03:03.300 They always put the camera on my face, too.

01:03:05.660 I hate that one.

01:03:06.900 When you lose and people you like lose, they put it right on your face.

01:03:13.180 Oh, like Emmys?

01:03:14.700 Yeah.

01:03:14.960 How many Emmys did you lose?

01:03:17.500 I never even got nominated.

01:03:19.020 You're one for one.

01:03:20.620 I only got nominated once in one.

01:03:23.080 Oh, really?

01:03:23.700 Yeah.

01:03:24.020 I figured you would have been nominated multiple times.

01:03:27.560 They didn't like it.

01:03:27.940 No, they never even nominated the show for one either.

01:03:30.660 Oh, wow.

01:03:31.700 Which I thought was a compliment because they never nominated the Honeymooners, which was my favorite show.

01:03:36.880 Yeah.

01:03:37.280 But, you know, they got a lot of politics out there.

01:03:40.740 What do you think about, do you think Hollywood is just burnt to the ground with these fires and it's over?

01:03:46.600 Yeah, I think it's kind of done.

01:03:49.460 I think the part where they feel like they control all the narratives in everyone's career and they're going to make or break you or you're not welcome to Sundance so you can't make money or have success.

01:04:03.480 I think that whole edifice is gone.

01:04:07.220 I do too.

01:04:07.780 It's just gone.

01:04:08.440 Do you think that had anything to do with the fires?

01:04:12.220 No.

01:04:13.380 I mean, well, they, okay.

01:04:16.340 I mean, I think we arrive at the same place.

01:04:19.860 Yeah.

01:04:20.960 Hollywood roots for and helps elect incompetent people because everything is about narcissism and feel-good hires.

01:04:33.460 And, you know, she's the first black female. 1.00

01:04:36.580 Yes, but she's an incompetent fool. 1.00

01:04:38.700 Yeah, yeah, but she's the first black female. 1.00

01:04:40.800 And so they do a lot of symbolic hires.

01:04:45.260 What they basically do is they go, wouldn't it be great if you went on to a commercial airline and you looked into the cabin and in the cockpit and there were two African-American women flying this plane? 1.00

01:05:01.320 And I go, well, I just want the best pilots.

01:05:05.320 And they go, but wouldn't it be great to see the two black women up there? 1.00

01:05:10.000 And I'd go, are we ever going to take off?

01:05:12.920 And they go, no, don't worry.

01:05:14.040 We're not flying anywhere.

01:05:15.220 Just be cool to see them sitting in there, you know?

01:05:17.540 And they go, okay, well, if they don't have to fly the plane, then fine.

01:05:21.240 And that's kind of how LA is. 0.99

01:05:23.140 Like, yeah, we have some mare who the fuck knows what she does. 1.00

01:05:26.480 And we don't care. 0.99

01:05:27.800 And no one thinks about aqueducts or Delta smelt or fire hydrants.

01:05:33.280 We don't think about any of this stuff. 0.99

01:05:34.920 And then all the shit burns down, which is the plane crashing. 0.99

01:05:40.120 And then Hollywood goes, next time, let's get a good pilot. 0.99

01:05:44.280 You know, you go, yeah, that's what I said.

01:05:45.940 But you wanted the first African-American pilots for Delta, you know?

01:05:49.880 And it's like, well, I didn't think we're going to really use them.

01:05:52.340 I thought they were just going to sit up there.

01:05:54.140 And I would take pictures.

01:05:55.460 And then I would tweet out that I helped elect these two people.

01:05:59.620 I didn't know the place kind of, you know, the plane flies itself.

01:06:03.000 We don't do this, but you're forgetting one thing.

01:06:06.020 If the best pilot, if it was all tested, and the best pilot of all pilots wasn't African-American 0.98

01:06:14.400 conservative, they wouldn't give them, they would make sure they didn't get the job.

01:06:21.140 No, that's always funny.

01:06:22.500 Isn't it?

01:06:23.120 It's funny when they don't count.

01:06:24.800 Yeah.

01:06:25.320 Isn't it crazy?

01:06:27.240 Yeah.

01:06:27.500 And, you know, they just want us to have that, where you wonder, is this real, or are

01:06:34.520 they incompetent, or are they evil? 1.00

01:06:36.560 You know, that's how they move it along another 10 years, robbing the fucking people. 1.00

01:06:41.980 It's plausible deniability. 0.99

01:06:43.460 I think a lot of-

01:06:44.300 Plausible deniability, yeah.

01:06:45.320 I think a lot of the gender stuff was to make us, like, go, is this happening?

01:06:50.080 Is this real?

01:06:50.900 Like, do you really think that?

01:06:52.260 Like, are we arguing over a man and a woman and gender and all this?

01:06:56.240 And I do believe there is a kind of part where they get you entangled in insane arguments

01:07:05.460 while they're taking all the money out of the back door-

01:07:08.480 That's what they do.

01:07:09.300 And doing whatever it is they're doing, and we're starting to argue about what a woman 1.00

01:07:12.640 is and what a man is.

01:07:14.040 Well, that's assigned a gender. 1.00

01:07:16.180 Yeah, assigned it.

01:07:17.480 That's the birth assigned.

01:07:18.640 The gender assigned at birth.

01:07:20.240 But that's not the actual, that's not the sex of the child.

01:07:23.900 And you're like, what?

01:07:24.800 What are you, are you talking about? 0.99

01:07:26.460 You're saying the penis doesn't count? 0.99

01:07:28.080 Like, what do you mean? 1.00

01:07:28.700 And it's like, I do believe they're jingling the keys over here, sucking us into retarded 1.00

01:07:35.020 arguments about, I don't know what, and then they're doing whatever else over there.

01:07:39.380 To which there's never, there never will be an answer because they'll block every answer.

01:07:45.760 Which I think they do that with race, too.

01:07:48.260 They just, they say, we're going to argue about race constantly, and they're going to

01:07:51.640 accuse everyone of everything.

01:07:53.100 But I think it's kind of run its course.

01:07:55.980 I do, too.

01:07:56.660 I think this is it.

01:07:57.640 I think it has, too.

01:07:58.600 I don't think it's going to work anymore.

01:07:59.280 Would it work to call someone a racist? 1.00

01:08:00.780 Like, if they went, Donald Trump's a racist, you know, and everyone would go, shut the fuck 1.00

01:08:04.220 up. 1.00

01:08:04.780 Like, who cares?

01:08:05.260 Keep talking.

01:08:05.280 No, they actually ruined it for people that are actually racist that you want to call it.

01:08:08.520 Like, now everything's racist.

01:08:09.740 Nothing's racist.

01:08:10.380 Oh, I love that, I love that my rap song is, what do you call it, Triple Hat?

01:08:18.820 Well, you got, I'll read it to you.

01:08:20.460 What do you call that term?

01:08:20.920 I want to hear about this.

01:08:22.140 It's just dropped.

01:08:23.360 I got the hat trick.

01:08:25.100 Number one rap song, number one downloaded rap song.

01:08:28.440 You got, you're number one in digital song sales this week.

01:08:31.940 You're number one in R&B and hip hop digital sales. 0.99

01:08:35.500 Yeah, bitches. 1.00

01:08:36.000 And number one in rap digital sales. 0.99

01:08:37.820 So, it's the same song, it's number one, but it's three different categories.

01:08:40.580 Yeah, but I got the hat trick, number one.

01:08:42.520 And this is Billboard, by the way.

01:08:44.020 Billboard.

01:08:44.100 This isn't like YouTube.

01:08:44.980 And I just want to say, it was on the subject, I finally got my say.

01:08:49.140 They try to cancel me and say that I'm a racist.

01:08:52.340 Got a mean hook.

01:08:53.600 They can't get me with that jab.

01:08:56.160 Try to take, they try to take away my right to go and save this.

01:09:01.040 Well, listen up, because this granny's going bad. 1.00

01:09:04.460 With the facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts.

01:09:07.960 Why are they trying to turn Becky into Dan?

01:09:11.000 That's a man.

01:09:12.140 You get pap, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap, pap. 1.00

01:09:15.640 Screw Eminem, bitch. 1.00

01:09:17.300 I'm Roseanne. 1.00

01:09:18.880 Perfect.

01:09:19.760 Thank you.

01:09:20.520 Wow.

01:09:21.380 Hi, everybody.

01:09:22.860 It's Roseanne.

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01:11:09.800 Number one.

01:11:10.560 Number one. 1.00

01:11:11.640 And I got to say, it was a fucking goddamn, they called me a racist. 1.00

01:11:15.620 Those motherfuckers, those white motherfuckers at all are on the Epstein list. 1.00

01:11:22.080 I will do my best to make sure everyone who called me a racist that I seen their name on the Epstein list. 1.00

01:11:29.980 I will make sure America sees their name on the Epstein list too. 0.96

01:11:34.480 Good. 0.99

01:11:35.000 Well, look, most of them are just scared because I remember that incident and I was like, the bitch does look white or doesn't look black or whatever. 0.99

01:11:46.320 And look just like the character in the movie. 0.99

01:11:48.940 Yes. 0.99

01:11:49.300 There was two fucking peas in a pod in that. 0.99

01:11:52.220 Listen, I agree. 0.99

01:11:55.240 And the people, so here's what saddens me.

01:11:59.120 That's like saying you can't draw Mohammed. 0.90

01:12:01.260 It's exactly the same thing.

01:12:02.600 Yes.

01:12:02.900 You can't draw a picture of her with this here.

01:12:06.140 That's like you're going to get canceled for drawing a picture of Mohammed. 0.83

01:12:09.500 People are scared to defend you.

01:12:13.520 For me, so here's my wiring.

01:12:19.300 When I see a man punching a woman in the street, I'm not a fan of the guy who's punching the woman.

01:12:27.900 But when I see three guys standing and watching, I'm somehow saddened more by those three guys who didn't say anything or do anything or intervene.

01:12:38.960 Those are the ones, that's the sad part.

01:12:42.340 And so with a lot of these types of situations like your case, I was up there yelling, what are you guys talking about?

01:12:50.340 She doesn't look like a black woman. 0.98

01:12:52.240 She does look like the Vera from Planet of the Apes or whatever her name is. 0.98

01:12:56.440 And what are you guys talking about?

01:12:57.420 Why is everyone so certain of everything?

01:12:59.120 And then look at a picture of her and how reluctant and freaked out everyone was.

01:13:05.280 That's what happened with COVID.

01:13:06.840 Everyone was like, oh.

01:13:07.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:13:08.080 And I'm like, what? 0.99

01:13:08.720 Come on, coward. 0.99

01:13:09.700 Step up. 1.00

01:13:10.680 I must have tweeted the word coward and pussy out 3,000 times during COVID. 1.00

01:13:17.140 I've called everyone a coward, everyone a pussy. 1.00

01:13:19.560 They were. 1.00

01:13:20.000 Because they were.

01:13:20.860 They were.

01:13:21.000 I was like, step up, dudes.

01:13:22.300 What happened? 0.99

01:13:23.400 Where's your balls? 1.00

01:13:25.300 It's insane. 1.00

01:13:26.500 And every, I mocked.

01:13:28.480 And Dr. Drew says this.

01:13:30.160 And I'm starting to think.

01:13:30.920 I think the way we win and the way we're winning now is mocking.

01:13:35.220 I think so, too.

01:13:36.320 They all need to be mocked. 0.98

01:13:36.980 Yeah, they need to be mocked.

01:13:37.820 We used to think there was some playbook where we're like reasonable.

01:13:40.480 Like, oh, I'm not.

01:13:41.360 Yeah, we did.

01:13:42.220 No, I'm not against vaccines.

01:13:44.120 I'm just, my son is healthy.

01:13:45.560 And it's like, start mocking him.

01:13:47.040 Every single person that said during COVID when they would tweet me and they would go, 0.99

01:13:53.320 my grandfather died of COVID, smart ass. 0.99

01:13:57.540 I'd go, so did my grandfather. 1.00

01:14:00.020 So did his grandfather. 0.99

01:14:01.620 I mocked the shit out of everybody. 0.99

01:14:04.820 That's all I did was mock people. 0.99

01:14:07.000 And everyone hated me, of course. 1.00

01:14:08.900 But, and people were like, stop calling everyone a pussy. 1.00

01:14:13.700 And I was like, I'm never going to stop calling these guys pussies or cowards or sheep. 1.00

01:14:18.460 I think that my batting, my pecking order was cowards, sheep, pussy. 1.00

01:14:23.400 Or I'd put them all in the same tweet. 1.00

01:14:25.520 I do, too.

01:14:25.920 All I did was mock everybody.

01:14:28.260 Me, too.

01:14:28.840 And. 0.98

01:14:29.320 And they should be mocked. 0.86

01:14:30.500 I totally. 0.98

01:14:31.460 They should be totally mocked. 0.87

01:14:32.120 When they shut down. 0.93

01:14:33.080 They should be scorned for what they did to our country.

01:14:34.940 What they did to kids, especially. 1.00

01:14:37.060 The fucking perverts. 1.00

01:14:38.240 When Gavin Newsom shut down outdoor dining and was trying to shut down Tin Horn Flats in Burbank and the outdoor dining at Tin Horn Flats. 1.00

01:14:48.500 And churches, too, the son of a gun.

01:14:50.200 Of course, yeah.

01:14:50.400 The second he did that, I got my son, who was, you know, 14, 13, 14.

01:14:57.940 And I said, we're going down to Tin Horn Flats and we're going to go buy a burger.

01:15:02.060 We're going to go sit on the patio and we're going to go eat it.

01:15:04.920 Yeah.

01:15:05.180 And he was like, okay.

01:15:06.320 I mean, it's on TMZ.

01:15:07.800 You can you can see it. 0.99

01:15:09.100 I said, let's go because somebody has to fucking stand up to these insane people. 0.99

01:15:15.240 And the sad part is not Gavin Newsom and it's not Garcetti, former mayor, and it's not Karen Bass. 0.99

01:15:22.960 It's not them.

01:15:23.980 They're bought and paid for. 1.00

01:15:25.020 They're incompetent. 1.00

01:15:25.840 They're leftists. 1.00

01:15:26.700 They're anarchists.

01:15:28.260 They're nihilists.

01:15:29.320 I don't know what they are.

01:15:30.640 What are we doing?

01:15:32.120 What are we?

01:15:33.440 The day they shut the beaches down, we all should have went to the beach.

01:15:37.060 Yeah.

01:15:37.380 Yeah.

01:15:37.800 It's so sad.

01:15:39.200 You know, Dennis Prager was telling me that a march for freedom, like in the middle of this thing in downtown L.A., he said like 800 people showed up.

01:15:48.280 There should have been 75,000 people at this place.

01:15:51.520 Yeah. 0.99

01:15:51.980 That's the sad and pathetic. 0.98

01:15:54.120 And then the scary part. 0.99

01:15:55.340 The sad part is that they know, the reason they don't show up is they know there'll be hell to pay.

01:16:02.880 Well. 0.98

01:16:03.320 You know, they're not just cowards. 0.97

01:16:04.960 They're like going, there's going to be hell for my family to pay for me to show up. 0.97

01:16:09.320 The tweet that got me in the most trouble is I said, this thing is killing old people and sick people, which was true. 1.00

01:16:21.140 And it got people pissed. 1.00

01:16:22.740 But I said, and the rest of you pussies got played. 1.00

01:16:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:16:27.260 And then I wrote, and who's getting played next time?

01:16:30.800 Right. 1.00

01:16:31.020 Because you just got done getting played, pussy. 1.00

01:16:34.420 What about the next one? 1.00

01:16:35.820 Because there's always going to be a next one. 1.00

01:16:37.600 As long as they know they got pussies, they're going to play your pussy ass. 1.00

01:16:41.880 Yes. 1.00

01:16:42.280 Well, you know, they took down all the men.

01:16:44.620 That's why I love your book, If 50 Years Will All Be Chicks. 1.00

01:16:48.660 Because it is true, they were the fucking men. 1.00

01:16:52.640 I sent a tweet out yesterday with somebody in Wisconsin who was like arguing over flying the gay flag. 1.00

01:16:58.660 I was like, what happened to adult males?

01:17:01.020 Where are you guys? 0.99

01:17:02.320 What the fuck happened to males? 0.99

01:17:04.080 Yeah. 0.99

01:17:04.700 Why aren't you stepping up? 1.00

01:17:06.260 Why are you going along with this shit? 1.00

01:17:08.540 I don't, are they all gay? 1.00

01:17:10.300 I don't know.

01:17:11.060 I don't even, I see a guy wearing 13 bracelets. 1.00

01:17:13.900 I'm like, what the fuck happened to you? 1.00

01:17:15.580 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:15.880 I got all these bracelets.

01:17:17.140 Take them off.

01:17:18.820 Where are the men that's supposed to protect the women and kids? 0.57

01:17:22.420 That's where I wonder. 0.90

01:17:23.320 I mean, they can still be gay if they want to protect the women and kids. 0.88

01:17:27.220 Yeah. 0.96

01:17:27.420 They're men, but even they don't show up. 0.99

01:17:29.880 I think the let's roll guy on the flight over Pennsylvania was gay. 1.00

01:17:35.800 Yeah. 0.97

01:17:36.880 As I believe.

01:17:37.880 Yeah.

01:17:38.440 That's a hell of a, he was a top.

01:17:41.160 Yeah, he was definitely a top.

01:17:42.640 That was no bottom.

01:17:43.720 Hell, yeah.

01:17:44.660 No bottom yells, let's roll and heads toward the cockpit. 0.99

01:17:47.780 Can you believe that guy?

01:17:48.900 I say that all the time, let's roll.

01:17:51.000 I like it.

01:17:51.680 I love that guy.

01:17:53.000 I love that guy.

01:17:54.040 So I don't know what happened to dudes.

01:17:56.460 I wrote a book.

01:17:58.840 Are they afraid of women? 0.98

01:18:00.920 They're afraid they're going to get screamed at by women. 1.00

01:18:03.440 That's what I think.

01:18:04.540 Because the women are all hysteric. 1.00

01:18:07.400 Let's break it down.

01:18:08.700 Let's break it down.

01:18:11.060 Hysteric.

01:18:11.540 By the way, hysterectomy.

01:18:13.260 Yeah.

01:18:13.760 Right.

01:18:14.280 Okay.

01:18:14.840 So that's how we know.

01:18:16.040 Enough said.

01:18:16.340 I calmed down after I got one.

01:18:17.800 Yeah.

01:18:18.200 It's true.

01:18:18.500 They did.

01:18:19.060 Yeah.

01:18:20.140 She did.

01:18:21.360 I should look into that.

01:18:23.580 All right.

01:18:24.140 Now, here's my point.

01:18:25.720 I wrote a book 15 years ago called 50 Years Will I Be Chicks.

01:18:29.820 Now, you know, when you write a book, you have some publisher in New York.

01:18:35.660 And they go, what do you want to call the book?

01:18:38.820 You know?

01:18:39.280 And you go, how about the ace man talketh or something?

01:18:42.160 You know?

01:18:42.360 And they go, oh, that's okay.

01:18:43.940 And what about this?

01:18:44.880 And words of wisdom from Mr. Corolla or something.

01:18:48.780 And you sit around and try to think of turns of phrase and cute phrases.

01:18:53.180 What rhymes with my name?

01:18:55.180 You know, what's a cool-ism, you know? 0.99

01:18:57.840 And you do stupid things like got Corolla, you know, and stuff like these popular things. 0.97

01:19:04.900 And at a certain point, I was like, oh, we'll call it 50 Years Will I Be Chicks. 0.99

01:19:09.120 And it doesn't rhyme.

01:19:11.000 Is that even a joke?

01:19:12.560 It doesn't even really make sense.

01:19:14.880 But the book wasn't about masculinity.

01:19:19.220 I just said, in 50 Years Will I Be Chicks has been rattling around. 0.99

01:19:24.740 I'm like, what the fuck is going on in this society? 0.98

01:19:27.840 Now, this is 16 years ago. 0.99

01:19:30.660 And I was on to it.

01:19:32.040 I was like, something is happening.

01:19:33.760 Well, Alex Jones says they was turning the male fish cake.

01:19:37.020 Metrazine, yeah.

01:19:37.960 Oh, well, well, I mean, part of it.

01:19:40.200 They've been trying to.

01:19:41.140 Part of it's biological.

01:19:42.420 Yeah.

01:19:42.640 Yeah.

01:19:42.980 There's too many.

01:19:43.360 They've been trying to turn the men away from being.

01:19:49.380 Masculine.

01:19:50.040 Yeah.

01:19:50.220 Well, not just masculine.

01:19:52.500 Protectors.

01:19:52.980 But first responder types.

01:19:56.600 Yeah.

01:19:56.660 You know, to go, what's that?

01:19:58.380 You know, that kind of warrior thing.

01:20:00.720 Well, okay.

01:20:01.320 So, I've been studying this because I come from a, I have a hippie mom who was down with 1.00

01:20:07.980 this shit early. 1.00

01:20:09.460 Me too. 1.00

01:20:10.080 And that's.

01:20:10.920 No, for real.

01:20:12.000 Yeah.

01:20:12.440 There's a podcast about this.

01:20:13.320 But my mom was poor. 0.89

01:20:15.520 So was him.

01:20:16.140 We were real hippies.

01:20:16.800 I said, you were lucky.

01:20:18.520 I imagine if she had money. 0.99

01:20:21.400 So, I remember this kind of talk from the 70s, you know, and they were all wrong.

01:20:26.340 You know, if you gave little Sally a gun and little, and Bobby a dolly, they would play

01:20:32.380 with it.

01:20:32.720 It's like, no, they wouldn't.

01:20:33.620 They're different biologically. 1.00

01:20:34.940 But anyway, they've been selling this shit for a long time. 1.00

01:20:39.380 Number one. 1.00

01:20:39.960 Okay.

01:20:40.560 Number two, what we decided as a society is that the more feminine direction was toward 0.99

01:20:51.340 the light in terms of evolution, meaning we started by bashing women over the head and 1.00

01:20:58.160 raping them in a cave. 1.00

01:20:59.380 And you wanted that guy's brontosaurus burger. 0.99

01:21:03.220 You just take it and kick him in the face, you know, and there was all this male aggression 0.99

01:21:07.040 stuff. 0.99

01:21:07.720 And so we went, well, that's not the way to go.

01:21:09.800 The way to go is conversation, understanding, nurturing, reasoning.

01:21:15.120 And, and we'd be like, that's a more.

01:21:17.120 Well, that's one way of looking at it.

01:21:18.500 But you're saying, you're stating, you're stating things that may not be accurate.

01:21:25.640 But go ahead.

01:21:26.400 Well, no.

01:21:26.960 We'll send the seed of thought.

01:21:28.820 I'll let you finish.

01:21:30.120 Well, no, I, I don't agree with this all, any of the time.

01:21:34.840 Like I was always the guy going, oh yeah, I'm 10 times funnier and I'm 10 times smarter

01:21:39.500 than my ex-wife.

01:21:40.700 And no, she doesn't make any money. 1.00

01:21:42.360 And yes, she should listen to what I say because she doesn't make any money. 1.00

01:21:45.240 No, but like they say in history, the most brutal regimes were headed by a woman. 1.00

01:21:51.520 Oh, women are the, they're the worst. 1.00

01:21:53.280 Oh yeah. 1.00

01:21:53.620 I agree with that.

01:21:54.720 Yeah.

01:21:54.920 Yeah.

01:21:55.160 And the most warlike.

01:21:56.040 No, but, but here's what I'm saying.

01:21:58.280 Okay.

01:21:58.620 Saying systemically.

01:21:59.460 I'm not saying I think this way.

01:22:01.940 I'm saying society thought that progress was the feminine route and the male route was 0.84

01:22:10.820 violent and wars and, and, and rape and misogyny.

01:22:16.460 And so we decided to go that route and, and, and they had these sort of adages like, you

01:22:23.040 know, if women ruled the world, there'd be no war, you know, and people just sort of nodded 1.00

01:22:27.480 their head like, all right, it seems like a, a more evolved way to go.

01:22:31.100 So we went that way.

01:22:32.240 And then we started trying to weed out male characteristics.

01:22:36.500 We're like, Hey, don't, do not be toxic masculinity.

01:22:41.060 And then Madison Avenue jumped on board.

01:22:44.800 And so just dig this.

01:22:48.480 We grew up watching TV and they'd have car commercials, car commercials talked about mileage

01:22:55.360 and warranties.

01:22:56.840 You know, they had a rust proof warranty that a drivetrain warranty.

01:23:01.400 Then they'd give you the price.

01:23:02.820 Like they'd go 100,000 mile rust proof warranty on the cab and the truck, 20,000 mile drivetrain

01:23:10.280 warranty, 26 miles in the city, 32 on the highway and all yours for 14,900.

01:23:16.800 Now it's a Subaru commercial and there's a gay couple mixed race and they're saving a poodle

01:23:24.720 and they're driving and they don't say anything about the car.

01:23:28.480 Right.

01:23:28.640 They don't say anything about mileage.

01:23:30.500 They don't say anything about price.

01:23:31.940 No warranty.

01:23:32.760 There's no information.

01:23:34.200 It's just a mixed race, gay couple.

01:23:36.860 That's going to adopt a sheep and they're just driving. 1.00

01:23:40.580 And you're like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

01:23:42.840 Oh, that's Madison Avenue. 1.00

01:23:44.660 Right. 1.00

01:23:44.840 Madison Avenue's went, Hey, these soft pussies. 1.00

01:23:47.680 Now here's the thing. 0.99

01:23:49.020 I looked it up.

01:23:50.660 Subaru makes station wagons for lesbians. 0.73

01:23:54.420 And by the way, Subaru is in the, their slogan is it's made with love.

01:23:59.580 Right.

01:23:59.760 It's not made with love.

01:24:00.980 It's made with bonderized steel and, and rubber gaskets.

01:24:05.300 There's no love made with a Subaru, but okay.

01:24:09.440 But Subaru also makes attack helicopters for the Japanese army.

01:24:13.380 Didn't know that.

01:24:14.380 So they don't talk about that.

01:24:16.440 Yeah.

01:24:16.740 They make those with love.

01:24:18.180 I don't know.

01:24:19.460 So what is it?

01:24:20.820 It's all one big Gillette toxic masculinity. 0.92

01:24:24.660 That toxic masculinity commercial showed six year old boys wrestling on a

01:24:29.720 lawn and a barbecue.

01:24:30.860 And they're like, Timmy, don't do that.

01:24:32.400 It's like, wait a minute.

01:24:33.680 That's what guys do.

01:24:35.080 That's what we're supposed to do.

01:24:36.780 It's important to do that.

01:24:38.880 So we actively probably chemically, but socially and actively tried to root it

01:24:48.700 out of our society and politicians caught on and they went nuts with it.

01:24:55.600 Madison Avenue went nuts on it.

01:24:57.900 They all, they all went nuts on it.

01:24:59.720 And anybody who started yelling, um, Hey everybody, slow your roll.

01:25:05.940 Like we're going, we're going down a direction here that you don't want to go

01:25:09.600 because you, when you're upstairs asleep at night and you hear the window break

01:25:15.960 down to the kitchen, you want to play rock, paper, scissors to figure out who's

01:25:19.580 going down to investigate.

01:25:20.620 You want the guy to pick up the baseball bat and head down.

01:25:22.940 That's why we have husbands. 1.00

01:25:24.100 When the car breaks down, you get a flat tire.

01:25:26.600 Who's going to change the flat?

01:25:27.860 It's raining outside.

01:25:28.880 Like guys can't do it anymore.

01:25:31.400 I thought they went way too far when they said, uh, forget this women and children first.

01:25:35.920 Like when there's a shipwreck, they said it's sexist to say women and children first. 1.00

01:25:41.300 That's when I knew it was all nothing but bullshit. 1.00

01:25:44.460 One hundred percent. 1.00

01:25:45.900 That's what they're after though.

01:25:47.300 They're after control of everything and they have to do it through women because women 1.00

01:25:52.880 raise the kids.

01:25:53.900 That's why I took my grandsons and my son, uh, over to Hawaii because it's like, you're 0.99

01:26:00.380 going to learn to fucking build a fire and make a garden. 0.99

01:26:03.260 You're going to learn to, you know, wrestle down a pig and kill it and, you know, keep 1.00

01:26:08.920 our place safe.

01:26:10.260 You know, you're going to have goats and you're going to, I want them to live in the real world, 0.95

01:26:14.720 not that fake frigging world because the women have not, the way they say about women was 1.00

01:26:20.080 nothing that I ever thought was true. 0.99

01:26:23.360 It was just all a lie about men and women, but it's all, of course they're going to lie 0.99

01:26:28.420 when the whole city is run by lesbian, which publicists, that's who runs Hollywood. 1.00

01:26:36.080 You know that's true, right?

01:26:37.560 I agree.

01:26:38.280 There are some gay dudes in there, not all lesbians, but I will say this.

01:26:44.720 And, and this is, this is a God's honest, you need some relationship with risk and danger.

01:26:55.040 So part of what we're talking about is men used to work in logging camps and sawmills and

01:27:05.380 they'd be bricklayers and construction workers and stuff like that.

01:27:09.300 Right.

01:27:09.760 Or farmers, right?

01:27:10.940 Farmers, whatever.

01:27:12.160 And when you work in that world, you're constantly assessing risk.

01:27:19.620 Right.

01:27:19.800 And, and I know because I lived in that world for a long time, which is sort of risk versus time.

01:27:27.760 So what I'm saying is, is you go, you got to do some work.

01:27:31.060 You got to paint the trim up on top on the second floor in the window, right?

01:27:34.360 Well, someone will go, well, let's set up the scaffolding.

01:27:37.140 That'll be the safest way to do it.

01:27:38.880 And then you would go, well, setting up the scaffolding is going to take half a day.

01:27:43.480 That's, that's, that's going to take too long.

01:27:45.340 And they'd go, yeah, but it's the safest way to do it.

01:27:47.440 You go, I get it.

01:27:48.260 It's safe, but I can do it on a ladder.

01:27:50.600 And they'll go, that's not a safe.

01:27:51.720 And I'll go, maybe not a safe, but I still think I can do it on a ladder.

01:27:55.500 And I still think I can get to it.

01:27:57.620 And then if someone said, look, no time for the ladder, hang off the side of the building

01:28:01.840 and paint it upside down.

01:28:02.960 You'd go, well, no, no, that's, that's too dangerous.

01:28:05.420 So you're constantly weighing when you're using a router, a bandsaw, a jigsaw, a high point

01:28:13.760 saw, a skill saw, they all have blades.

01:28:16.040 They all do something different and they all have their own set of kind of dangers, but

01:28:21.960 you would never handsaw anything you'd use your skill saw to, to framing saw to cut

01:28:28.260 something.

01:28:28.660 People go, well, isn't that dangerous?

01:28:30.080 Well, yeah, it's got a blade that spins around and you have to be mindful and you have to

01:28:34.540 kind of respect it.

01:28:35.380 But also if we cut it with a handsaw, it's going to take all day just to frame one wall.

01:28:41.320 So we're not going to do that.

01:28:42.340 And so men especially had this risk versus reward versus danger versus speed sort of

01:28:53.600 assessment and women's take on it was sort of safety, safety, safety. 0.94

01:29:01.480 Well, you don't, you don't get the Hoover Dam or the Golden Gate Bridge.

01:29:06.400 If it's just safety, safety, safety, what you have is we're going to build this dam as

01:29:12.680 fast as we can build this dam and we're going to be as safe as we can do it, but some people

01:29:19.280 are going to die and we're going to build the Golden Gate Bridge and we'll do it as 0.99

01:29:23.840 safe as we can do it, but shit is going to happen. 1.00

01:29:27.260 It inevitably does. 0.99

01:29:28.640 And so what LA, what the blue leaning cities, when in any place it's blues, they just took 0.71

01:29:36.200 on chick think and they went safe, safe, safe.

01:29:38.840 And when Karen Bass was at that round table with Trump the other day and Trump's like,

01:29:44.120 we got to get these, these, everything needs to be cleared tonight.

01:29:48.060 People will do it tonight.

01:29:49.040 And she's like, but safety, safety, safe.

01:29:51.900 They hide behind safety.

01:29:53.560 Safety means regulation.

01:29:55.240 Safety means control.

01:29:56.660 That's how they work it. 0.99

01:29:57.760 Everyone got screwed by Pussy Newsome because of safety. 0.99

01:30:02.300 We didn't know. 0.99

01:30:03.220 So we shut the schools.

01:30:04.300 We didn't know.

01:30:04.900 So we shut the churches.

01:30:06.380 We didn't know.

01:30:06.920 So we shut the beach, but safety, safety.

01:30:09.620 And my thing is safety is like to allow for grift.

01:30:13.600 Yeah.

01:30:13.920 Yeah, of course. 1.00

01:30:14.760 Well, first off, you're not, look, Gavin Newsome, you're a pussy. 1.00

01:30:20.560 I'm not. 1.00

01:30:21.840 I race old race cars.

01:30:24.640 It's not inherently dangerous, but it's not a safe activity, but I choose to do it.

01:30:32.980 And I have a garage full of tools that'll cut you, but I use them.

01:30:37.860 They're my tools.

01:30:38.900 I, I take the risk.

01:30:40.280 This is, these are my decisions.

01:30:41.580 You don't legislate what I can do.

01:30:44.500 I'll be in charge of my own safety. 0.99

01:30:46.060 If I want to walk on a fucking horse trail in La Cunyata with no mask, then I'll decide 0.99

01:30:51.520 what I want to do that. 0.99

01:30:54.600 So we lost, we took all the guys off the logging camps and the lumber yards and the farms and

01:31:01.360 we put them in cubicles and they lost their bearing.

01:31:05.460 And then they started saying stuff like in New York during COVID, like if one person dies 1.00

01:31:10.920 of COVID, that's when, shut the fuck up. 0.99

01:31:13.060 You just took a bunch of elderly people and put them back in a nursing home and they're 1.00

01:31:16.860 all dead.

01:31:17.480 So what do you mean if there's one person dies?

01:31:20.380 There's thousands of people are dead and thousands more are going to die.

01:31:23.640 Now figure it out.

01:31:24.900 Do you think we're ever going to hear the truth about how they like corralled sick people

01:31:28.940 in?

01:31:29.440 Old people, they're like, yeah, they got to go. 1.00

01:31:31.520 They, they'll, we'll get their social security back anyway. 0.96

01:31:34.660 Once they're dead. 0.99

01:31:35.700 I don't, you know, I think they're so corrupt. 0.98

01:31:38.320 I mean, I have, I hated Fauci for the word go. 0.83

01:31:41.740 I hated Rochelle Walensky. 1.00

01:31:44.060 I hated all these liars. 1.00

01:31:45.720 I called them liars. 1.00

01:31:46.860 I called them liars in real time. 0.95

01:31:49.000 I'm on the record.

01:31:51.740 Um, I'm so happy that I spoke into a microphone every single day and I said all of this stuff

01:31:57.580 in real time.

01:31:58.700 And I didn't know, I didn't know who Anthony Fauci was.

01:32:02.780 Nobody did.

01:32:03.660 I didn't, nobody knew he was, but I saw him get in question by, I think Jim Jordan.

01:32:11.140 And this is 2020 and he goes like the summer 2020 and, and listen, this is all you need

01:32:20.320 to know everybody.

01:32:21.300 If you want to figure it out real fast, Jim Jordan goes, so you don't like groups.

01:32:26.640 You don't like people going to ballparks or churches or events or sporting events or

01:32:31.540 concerts.

01:32:31.940 And he goes, nah, they shouldn't, no crowds.

01:32:34.720 And he goes, well, what about black lives matter rallies?

01:32:37.220 And he goes, I got no opinion.

01:32:39.100 And he goes, well, you don't want crowds.

01:32:40.940 Yeah.

01:32:41.380 Well, what about black lives matter marches?

01:32:43.200 Uh, I don't know why, why are you asking me?

01:32:45.660 Yeah.

01:32:45.980 He goes, well, we're asking you cause you, you weigh in on everything.

01:32:49.060 He goes, Hey, do what you want.

01:32:50.780 And I'm like, and I'm, so I, I said, I got onto the microphone that afternoon.

01:32:55.280 I said, oh, this guy has been corrupted.

01:32:57.160 He's corrupted.

01:32:58.080 He's now lying. 0.94

01:32:59.120 He's been politicized and he's lying.

01:33:01.300 Because a normal person who was epidemiologist would have went, no church, no ball game,

01:33:08.800 no black lives matter rally, no concerts.

01:33:11.480 Get it? 0.85

01:33:12.200 Yeah.

01:33:12.500 No groups.

01:33:13.360 That's it.

01:33:14.340 But he didn't do that.

01:33:15.600 No.

01:33:15.840 And he wouldn't do it.

01:33:16.860 None of them would.

01:33:17.620 And none of them would.

01:33:18.580 And I'm like, oh, you just outed yourself.

01:33:20.920 Yeah.

01:33:21.200 And I don't know why more Americans didn't catch on to you just outing yourself.

01:33:25.180 Because I just outed you.

01:33:26.760 You're now politicized.

01:33:28.900 You're now corrupted.

01:33:30.560 And now I don't believe things you say.

01:33:33.520 And those are the people who say trust the science too.

01:33:35.620 Yeah.

01:33:35.900 Well, he is the science.

01:33:36.960 Well, yeah.

01:33:37.340 But that's not scientific to say certain crowds are okay if it's for certain ideals. 1.00

01:33:40.620 Oh, well, he's captured and he's a liar. 0.99

01:33:43.460 Of course. 0.98

01:33:43.960 And that's why he got pardoned.

01:33:45.200 You take people apart really well.

01:33:47.920 It's good.

01:33:48.720 You should see what I'm doing to you in my head right now.

01:33:51.340 Okay.

01:33:52.020 Well, you can.

01:33:53.120 You can do it. 1.00

01:33:54.200 But, you know, I was going to say, but the Fauci thing is, oh, shit, you made me fucking forget 0.99

01:34:03.480 what I was going to say. 0.99

01:34:04.540 See what I did?

01:34:05.260 It was like taking people apart.

01:34:06.540 I got in your head. 0.99

01:34:07.620 Autistic. 0.87

01:34:08.160 You did.

01:34:08.440 Usually you say. 1.00

01:34:09.500 No, it was something about fucking Fauci. 0.99

01:34:11.420 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:34:12.680 Them getting par.

01:34:13.880 Him getting par. 0.99

01:34:14.720 What do you think about these people getting a fucking Biden pardon? 0.99

01:34:18.460 They haven't even been charged with a crime. 0.99

01:34:20.340 So you can't pardon somebody who hasn't been charged and you can't pardon somebody who's

01:34:28.240 up for treason.

01:34:30.320 I don't.

01:34:31.420 You can't pardon someone who hasn't been convicted.

01:34:34.000 I don't think.

01:34:35.160 No.

01:34:35.500 I mean, that's what you do.

01:34:36.740 You pardon them.

01:34:37.080 That was just him saying this guy is guilty.

01:34:40.240 Oh, yeah.

01:34:40.800 Don't you think it was that?

01:34:41.740 I mean, all these people he pardoned because he knows they're guilty.

01:34:44.440 Every single thing Biden accuses Trump of doing, he does. 0.98

01:34:48.580 He's the corrupt family.

01:34:50.060 It's his family that goes to all these international players and these rogue nations and hammers checks. 0.93

01:34:57.400 The same thing he would accuse Trump of.

01:34:59.840 And all the stuff where he'd accuse Trump of pardoning this or using lawfare or whatever.

01:35:06.240 Biden uses lawfare.

01:35:07.900 Biden uses the DOJ.

01:35:10.060 Biden does everything.

01:35:11.280 Everything he says Trump does, he does.

01:35:15.040 And, yeah, pardoning family members.

01:35:18.920 Like, here's the deal.

01:35:20.500 And I know.

01:35:21.100 I get his argument.

01:35:22.440 His argument is, oh, Trump was going to.

01:35:26.720 Well, here's the deal.

01:35:27.660 Let's say Biden has a family member named Jared who just works in Muncie, Indiana at a Sears.

01:35:40.380 And he fears that he's going to get hauled into this.

01:35:43.800 Like, no, there's no paper trail.

01:35:46.500 He doesn't have a bunch of shell companies with his kid's name in it.

01:35:50.040 There's not a whole bunch of red flags that the banks set up over the years.

01:35:53.960 Like, no, you can't.

01:35:56.840 You could accuse me of being part of.

01:36:00.380 Let's just say Trump's evil and Trump hated me. 1.00

01:36:03.360 He's evil. 0.99

01:36:04.460 He hates Adam Carolla.

01:36:05.540 Adam Carolla, we accuse you of taking money from Burisma, a Ukrainian energy company.

01:36:10.480 Now we're hauling you in front of a tribunal.

01:36:13.020 I'd be like, go ahead.

01:36:14.620 I've never been to Ukraine.

01:36:16.160 I don't know what you're talking about.

01:36:17.440 And then they'd go, we want to see your bank records.

01:36:19.780 And I'd call my account.

01:36:20.980 I'd go, Tony, yeah, give them every single bank record ever, because there's no Ukrainian Burisma. 1.00

01:36:26.540 There's no checks.

01:36:27.700 There's no time that Miss Putin gave me a Jaguar.

01:36:35.160 There's no anything.

01:36:36.900 So just go do it up, okay?

01:36:39.200 So then there's nothing to fear, because it doesn't really matter how evil Trump is.

01:36:44.440 You know, Trump could accuse me of killing Nicole Brown Simpson.

01:36:49.160 And I'd go, go ahead.

01:36:50.780 I was with my roommates in La Crescenta at the time.

01:36:55.340 Ralph will tell you.

01:36:56.380 But all right, go ahead.

01:36:58.900 I didn't do anything. 0.99

01:37:00.920 His family is corrupt. 1.00

01:37:02.940 His family members are corrupt. 1.00

01:37:05.500 And I don't know why. 0.95

01:37:07.580 I mean, obviously, the news is so partisan that they've now bent themselves into pretzels trying to protect the Bidens.

01:37:14.300 Well, they're in on it.

01:37:15.040 They're in on it.

01:37:16.220 Well, they're all getting paid off.

01:37:18.540 Well, here's the question.

01:37:20.060 Or they're scared shitless.

01:37:21.900 Well, here's what I'm saying.

01:37:23.520 It's 1245, just so you know.

01:37:24.860 Oh, okay.

01:37:25.440 What good is the news if they're going to be wrong about everything?

01:37:28.860 And do they really want to report on themselves being wrong?

01:37:32.360 Well, I think the news is to cover up the news.

01:37:35.500 Yeah.

01:37:35.840 Oh, okay.

01:37:36.380 I do think it's all fake. 1.00

01:37:38.440 And they, like, trot out some shit. 1.00

01:37:41.420 You know, they trot out some shit, says they have to have something on there. 1.00

01:37:45.080 It's the key jingling. 1.00

01:37:46.100 Yeah.

01:37:46.700 Yeah.

01:37:47.020 The jingling of the keys.

01:37:48.100 That's who they are.

01:37:50.040 Well, it was fun.

01:37:50.940 Yeah.

01:37:51.360 So, it was certainly fun talking to you.

01:37:55.040 Yeah.

01:37:55.640 It's always fun talking to you.

01:37:57.500 I'd love to hear what you say when you say you're going to take me apart.

01:38:01.180 Oh, no, no, no.

01:38:01.860 But unfortunately, we don't have time for that.

01:38:03.700 No, I already did it anyway.

01:38:04.900 Anyway, it's done.

01:38:07.260 Well, come on my podcast, and we'll continue the conversation.

01:38:10.980 I'll come back on.

01:38:11.420 We'll come back on.

01:38:12.000 This should be a continual thing.

01:38:13.300 Home and home, we call it.

01:38:15.280 Yeah.

01:38:15.360 I love the conversation, because, first of all, you're very much like me in your thinking,

01:38:23.400 because you try to take systems apart and put them back together so that they make sense

01:38:27.900 and cut the fat.

01:38:29.260 Even in conversation, it's really cool.

01:38:31.820 But I think that's because we're comics, and we've been comics for a long time.

01:38:34.900 I think it's the blue-collar look at the white-collar criminals.

01:38:36.940 Yeah, there's that, too.

01:38:37.260 Yeah, there's that.

01:38:38.800 There is.

01:38:39.080 Well, thanks.

01:38:39.600 This was fun.

01:38:40.500 It was really fun.

01:38:41.600 Thank you.

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The Roseanne Barr Podcast - February 15, 2025

Adam Carolla! ｜ The Roseanne Barr Podcast #087

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