The Roseanne Barr Podcast - July 06, 2023


Mo'Nique | The Roseanne Barr Podcast #004


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 25 minutes

Words per Minute

155.7693

Word Count

13,242

Sentence Count

1,259

Misogynist Sentences

55

Hate Speech Sentences

35


Summary

Comedian and actress Monique Williams joins Jemele to discuss her life and career and how she was able to persevere in the face of so much adversity. The two also discuss the tragic death of Kobe Bryant and the impact it has had on the world and how it will have a lasting impact on the way we live and the people we love. Jemele is a force to be reckoned with and is one of the most genuine people I've ever met. She truly is a beautiful soul and I am so proud to call her a sister and a friend. She is an inspiration to me and I can t wait to see what she does next in her life! Thank you so much for being here Jemele and thank you for being a sister to me. I love you, I appreciate you, and I'm so proud of you. I hope you enjoy this episode and remember all the beautiful souls who have passed before you. I know you are not alone in this beautiful world. - Jemele Halftime. . Bet MGM is your basketball home for this season! BetMGM is your sportsbook worth a slam dunk! You re gonna love it! And no matter your team, your favorite player, or your style, there s something every NBA fan will love about Bet MGM! - Download the app today and discover why you re your game to the next level this season with Bet MGM. Bet MGM, authorized gaming partner of the NBA, has your back all season long! ! - Bet MGM - is a sportsbook born in Vegas! (MGM) (BETMGMGMGOMG) (ABOUT THE NBA WEEKLYTHANK YOU, BETMGMGOTTERING ME, BABY! ) BOTMGM - BOTGMGM (FASTEST BETTER THAN MEETING AND GIVING ME A SUPPORTING ME THROW ME A FRIENDS IN THE PODCAST? ... AND MORE! AND BOUGOT ME A CHANCE TO SUPPORT ME AND GASK ME AND OTHER THAN I WAS TALKING TO ME AND TALK TO ME IN A FUN AND GOT A PODDS AND A FRIEND AND A FABULARY? ) BOT GMGOT A PRODUCING ME AND A DOUG CHASING ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?


Transcript

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00:01:00.840 Hi, everybody. I'm so excited for my podcast today.
00:01:04.260 It's with a great woman, an icon, just an amazing comedian, a great soul,
00:01:13.440 somebody I'm pleased to share this planet with.
00:01:18.440 To me, it's like a miracle that she's alive while I'm alive.
00:01:22.700 It's just great knowing that she is in this world when I'm in this world
00:01:27.580 and that I can talk to her and she gets it and she can go.
00:01:33.760 I just love that she can go.
00:01:35.520 She's a deep thinker, great artist in so many respects.
00:01:40.280 So let me bring on a dear friend, a great comedian,
00:01:44.660 a fantastic artist who lives her life as an artist.
00:01:48.440 Monique, you look fantastic.
00:01:53.080 I love the hair.
00:01:56.480 Thank you.
00:01:57.180 And look, I love yours too.
00:01:58.940 Thank you so much.
00:01:59.580 Thank you.
00:02:00.040 I did it myself because it was just all wire and like I looked like Einstein.
00:02:06.520 So I had to like spray it down, you know.
00:02:09.200 But I love that.
00:02:10.880 I love that braid.
00:02:12.040 It's beautiful.
00:02:12.960 You always have the best hair and you always look gorgeous.
00:02:18.020 I love the way you looked on your Netflix special.
00:02:21.280 Are you kidding me?
00:02:22.520 That looked like the, what do you call it?
00:02:26.340 A Bond girl.
00:02:28.260 That's what you look like.
00:02:29.060 One of the Bond girls.
00:02:30.840 It was pure glamour from tip to toe.
00:02:33.600 Beautiful.
00:02:34.680 And I loved your special.
00:02:36.220 It was fantastic.
00:02:37.200 So raw, so brave, so funny, cutting edge, fantastic.
00:02:42.360 I was proud of you, you know, so proud of you that you don't, you're not going to let
00:02:48.280 anybody stop you.
00:02:49.780 I respect you for that.
00:02:51.400 I love you for that.
00:02:52.620 Dang, you're so strong.
00:02:53.840 But you know, that goes both ways because I feel the same way about you.
00:02:57.420 You know, I think that it's so funny because coming up, watching your show, right?
00:03:05.940 And I watched this woman who was so bold, who was just like, I'm like, did she just say
00:03:12.300 that?
00:03:13.260 Did she just with, and you were so unapologetic about it.
00:03:17.660 So to watch you as this younger person and grow up and to develop this beautiful sisterhood
00:03:26.100 with you is still, it's almost like we, I think we're kindred spirits because we both
00:03:33.700 did it.
00:03:34.240 And when I watched you go through all of that, I got it.
00:03:39.180 I'm like, and that's why I wasn't going to let you go.
00:03:42.720 I'm like, no, y'all, because y'all are missing it.
00:03:45.180 Y'all are missing one of the most caring hearts in the game.
00:03:51.120 Do we say it a little rough?
00:03:52.820 Yes, we do.
00:03:54.400 Do we say it where people can go, yes, we do, but that's what we do.
00:04:01.100 But I knew your heart and I know your heart.
00:04:03.380 And you, you know, just starting out with, you reached out and picked me up out of, you
00:04:13.260 know, I was, feel like I was drowning and I couldn't fight, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't
00:04:19.760 fight because it's like being in a tsunami of it and it wouldn't stop.
00:04:24.400 And they wouldn't even allow me to explain myself nor apologize, nor, you know, anything.
00:04:32.020 They just cut it off.
00:04:33.020 It's like, okay, you're gone forever.
00:04:35.660 You're dead.
00:04:37.320 And, and, and they got it.
00:04:40.040 So, you know, everybody was afraid to say anything in defense of me, but here you came
00:04:47.700 because you, you are you.
00:04:50.780 So, and I, and you showed up, you know, you showed up for me at a time when there were
00:05:00.660 people that looked like me that didn't show up.
00:05:04.140 And that was the Monique show.
00:05:05.560 And when people were trying to say these things, I'm like, listen, y'all, I know that woman
00:05:12.160 when nobody's watching.
00:05:14.560 I know her when ain't no cameras running.
00:05:16.820 I know her when there's no audience.
00:05:18.640 And the thing she said to me, a racist woman would not say that because she wouldn't care.
00:05:24.860 That's why I was like, nah, baby, me and you in this one to the end.
00:05:28.960 That's my sister forever.
00:05:30.380 So when you said, Mo, come on and do my podcast, I'm like, what time and where I'm there.
00:05:36.200 I just love you so much.
00:05:38.060 You are like, I do feel that you are, you know, my sister.
00:05:42.320 I really, really do.
00:05:43.980 Even tighter than sister.
00:05:45.680 I don't even know if there's a word for it.
00:05:47.420 It is a one kind of like a being a soulmate kind of thing.
00:05:56.020 Because first of all, we have, we both were born with whatever.
00:06:00.420 Sometimes we have called it a gift, you know, in our private conversations.
00:06:05.740 The gift and the ability to, you know, want to make people laugh and think and feel good
00:06:11.940 and go, oh, you know, I never thought about it like that.
00:06:15.180 And we both were talking, I heard you on another interview a couple months back where you're
00:06:22.440 saying, yeah, you always knew.
00:06:24.620 And I hadn't heard you say that, but we had talked about the gift, which is also slash a
00:06:31.560 curse because you can't not do it.
00:06:34.120 You can't not do it, right?
00:06:38.020 You can, it's, you know, I've said that they're gifted people and they're talented people.
00:06:45.180 And those are two different things.
00:06:47.680 Talent can almost be nurtured and molded and formed.
00:06:52.920 We're going to make you this.
00:06:54.640 When you're gifted, it's unexplainable.
00:06:57.380 Like you can't explain it because it was something that was gifted to you.
00:07:01.580 And I remember I, I was afraid to say that, like, I was afraid to say it's a gift because
00:07:09.180 I didn't, you know, I didn't want to sound arrogant or, or conceited, but I can't explain
00:07:15.860 it.
00:07:16.820 Like, I can't, I can't explain it.
00:07:18.900 And you're right.
00:07:20.040 It's something we have to do.
00:07:21.780 Like, it's just, it's how we breathe.
00:07:24.100 It's how we live.
00:07:25.160 You know, it just is, uh, in there and it just comes out.
00:07:29.300 It's, I, I was saying, I asked this shrink one time, do I have Tourette's or something
00:07:34.600 where I just, I can't control it.
00:07:36.800 You know, it's like, like a reflex.
00:07:39.020 Sometimes when I see some kind of bullshit, I just go around.
00:07:42.160 That's bullshit.
00:07:43.180 Even when I can't keep my mouth shut, and I loved what, when you were talking, you said
00:07:49.140 everybody tells you, oh, let it go.
00:07:50.980 Stay quiet.
00:07:51.980 Let it go.
00:07:52.740 You know, that, I really wanted to talk about that too, because boy, that is what they tell
00:07:57.380 women.
00:07:58.900 And particularly when you're being really bullied, when you're being really bullied and you don't
00:08:04.240 have any allies and you don't have any power is when they really like to tell you to let
00:08:11.300 it go and don't talk about it.
00:08:13.300 Isn't that right?
00:08:14.260 Yeah.
00:08:14.940 You can almost feel like, I'll say this.
00:08:18.800 I feel bad for the sisters that came before us that had no foundation of people saying,
00:08:27.960 let it go.
00:08:28.660 You crazy.
00:08:29.580 Don't say nothing.
00:08:30.720 Don't worry about it.
00:08:31.560 And there was no one to hold onto them to say, you're not crazy, baby.
00:08:36.880 You know what you're seeing.
00:08:38.180 If it quack like a duck and it walk like a duck, it's a duck.
00:08:41.960 But we had no one to validate it.
00:08:45.360 They had no one to say what you're seeing and what you're feeling is okay.
00:08:49.600 So when I've been told, Monique, just let it go.
00:08:53.640 Just, I'm like y'all, but that's why the bullying and the exploitation can keep happening.
00:08:59.340 If we keep letting it go, we then let them go on to the next one and do the same thing,
00:09:06.160 if not worse.
00:09:07.160 So it's not aiming to let it go.
00:09:09.380 Oh, absolutely.
00:09:10.560 And I think that's why they say it.
00:09:13.700 It's like all they tell you to be quiet and don't talk, and that is all to protect the aggressor, the abuser.
00:09:20.940 It's all to protect them.
00:09:22.680 Everything seems like it's set up to protect them.
00:09:25.380 But you know what I noticed, too, Roseanne?
00:09:30.100 Just in the way that the universe works, you never get away with it.
00:09:35.940 Even when you think, you know what?
00:09:39.660 No one caught it.
00:09:41.120 You know on Scooby-Doo, when they almost got away with it, if it wasn't for them mangly kids,
00:09:48.000 you never leave untouched.
00:09:51.500 You don't leave here untouched.
00:09:54.280 If you've done malice, if you've done hurt, if you've done harm, you don't leave untouched.
00:10:03.280 And if you've done good, and if you've been kind, and if you've been loving, you don't leave untouched.
00:10:10.440 Either way it goes, you don't leave untouched.
00:10:13.540 That's why I kept saying to you, Rosie, don't worry about it, baby, because your heart is pure.
00:10:20.700 I know what they're saying.
00:10:22.260 I know what's happening.
00:10:23.400 We got to block it out because it always comes back around to the ones that's supposed to get it and to the ones that's supposed to get it.
00:10:33.580 Well, you know, I've had my faith in that shaken a little bit because, you know, just looking at the world and how it works,
00:10:43.540 it seems like a lot of people that are horrible, they die real comfortable in their big mansions, you know.
00:10:49.580 And a lot of people who are good people die, you know, dead poor and suffering.
00:10:59.200 So I don't know.
00:11:01.180 Maybe not on this earth it doesn't all equal out, but somewhere I suppose it does in the great big, what do you call it, tabulation of things.
00:11:11.640 I think it does matter somewhere, but it doesn't seem like it works here.
00:11:19.780 Well, you know what?
00:11:21.040 I think the perception oftentimes makes us believe they went out comfortable and they went out this way because they may have went out in a mansion.
00:11:30.340 But when you know you've done wrong, baby, you got to take them last seconds of breath by yourself.
00:11:37.180 You know it.
00:11:38.340 When you know you've done right, regardless as to how you go out, if you land on a cot or if you land on a $20 million bed, you know how you got to take them last seconds.
00:11:50.080 And what you gave is what you're going to get.
00:11:52.540 So I truly believe in this space right now, if you've done good, it's going to come back to you as it's coming to you right now.
00:12:04.520 And sometimes, Rosie, we can't see it because we can only see the wrong.
00:12:09.700 You know what I'm saying?
00:12:11.180 I do.
00:12:12.000 I think you're right that when you know you've done right and you're taking your last few breaths, then I think you do rest in peace.
00:12:19.920 And I think that there are people probably who die and they go, oh, my God, I've done terrible, terrible things.
00:12:27.220 And there are some people that they just don't have those things like that regular human beings have.
00:12:33.960 They're like psychopaths or something.
00:12:36.200 And like their fuel is just to destroy.
00:12:40.440 And they don't feel guilty.
00:12:43.620 Do you know what I mean?
00:12:44.980 Well, we don't.
00:12:46.440 But we don't know.
00:12:47.500 We don't know what they feel.
00:12:48.580 That's true.
00:12:49.180 We can look at the ashes and say, we don't know what they feel.
00:12:54.800 And for us, for the ones that's been told, be quiet.
00:12:59.760 You're no longer worthy.
00:13:01.540 Go away.
00:13:02.480 You've made a mistake.
00:13:03.680 You've messed up.
00:13:05.020 When this is pure, what happens, Rosie?
00:13:08.240 We keep showing back up.
00:13:10.820 Yeah, that's very true.
00:13:12.220 We keep showing back up.
00:13:13.740 So I believe that for the ones that came to this earth gifted, you can't get rid of that gift because it's not yours to take.
00:13:23.160 That's so true.
00:13:24.120 Because I was like, okay, I just give up and I'm not going to.
00:13:27.660 And then, you know, I felt like, oh, God is always calling me on the phone, you know, or whatever and saying, you got to go.
00:13:34.780 You got to go back.
00:13:35.880 There's so many things to say.
00:13:37.380 And I'm like, can't you get somebody else?
00:13:40.500 Seriously, it never works out good for me when, you know, you give me this feeling.
00:13:45.680 Get somebody that they like and they want to hear something.
00:13:48.620 But he's like, no, it has to be you and you have to do it because I did give you that gift and you're not going to let it rot away.
00:13:56.080 I'm not going to sit here quietly.
00:13:59.360 That's how I felt like the fire again.
00:14:01.820 And, you know, the fire you have when you're first real hungry and you're, you know, wanting to make your mark and that talent is on fire in your guts, you know.
00:14:11.040 And so when you get your first opportunity, you just eat it up.
00:14:14.500 I was hearing you talk about doing some movies and how fun it was and creating while you're performing, you know, being in the zone of fire, you know, inner fire and how great that feels and how wonderful it is.
00:14:31.180 And so, yeah, you can't, you can't just sit there and do nothing with it.
00:14:39.100 That'll drive you even more into a horrible depression.
00:14:43.040 Yeah, right.
00:14:43.660 You've got to act.
00:14:44.980 I know you've got to get out there and do it and act and reconnect and reconfigure and just try to find a new way in.
00:14:55.120 Well, I was trying to find a way into people to help.
00:15:01.440 That's what's so horrible is because we mean well and we want to heal, right?
00:15:07.340 It's part of the whole thing is to slay them dragons with words so people can be free, right?
00:15:15.100 Yes.
00:15:17.900 And I've gotten okay with if one person gets it.
00:15:22.900 You know, because you know how when you first come in and you want to make everybody happy and you want everybody to get it and you want everybody to get you.
00:15:31.560 And then as you go through it, you're like, you know what?
00:15:34.080 Everybody's not going to get this.
00:15:36.160 Everybody's not going to get me.
00:15:37.420 But if one person get me, we don't know who that one person might be.
00:15:42.040 Yeah, and isn't it great that they come up, you know, in your regular life and somebody comes up and says how they were touched or moved or, you know, wanted to change their life when they heard you or something you did helped them get better.
00:15:58.220 You know, they realized they had some self-reflection because of something you had said.
00:16:02.560 Isn't that the great?
00:16:03.420 That's beyond money, ain't it?
00:16:05.480 Beyond money.
00:16:06.240 Nothing can compare to it.
00:16:09.580 And I have to tell those people because when they come up and they say, Mo, you saved my life.
00:16:15.260 And I'll look at them and say, you saved mine too.
00:16:18.740 Because I want them to know it goes both ways.
00:16:21.460 Like, we need them.
00:16:23.940 You know, we need, for me, there was a time, Rosie, that I needed those hugs.
00:16:30.160 I needed those smiles.
00:16:32.820 I needed those bright eyes.
00:16:34.460 I needed all of that to get me through.
00:16:37.860 Because there were times when I walked on that stage, baby, the stuff was so crazy.
00:16:43.760 I needed laughter.
00:16:45.380 I needed to know that people were laughing with me and not at me.
00:16:49.140 So, for the people that do that, I'm so grateful.
00:16:53.340 But I had to let them know immediately, you saved mine too, baby.
00:16:57.240 That's true for me too.
00:16:58.400 They saved me.
00:16:59.540 You know, it was a big thing that when I went through it, it was really like, it was like, why have I, but this and that and the other.
00:17:08.060 But one thing that did for me was, I used to be, you know, I always wanted to snap on the joke, you know, come back.
00:17:15.460 Because that's where I grew up.
00:17:18.160 And that's how I got along my whole childhood.
00:17:21.300 But it was always like the joke, the snap.
00:17:25.200 It was kind of a way to just separate myself from people.
00:17:28.640 Because I'd be like, yeah, you, you know, blah, blah.
00:17:31.580 Well, you, that's because, you know, have a joke there.
00:17:34.100 And then when I was just so broken, it was the first time when I accepted love from people.
00:17:46.740 I never had known how to do that before because I was always like, oh, you're on.
00:17:51.500 You got to come up, you got to do the joke.
00:17:53.780 And I just, it just washed through me.
00:17:57.360 And I listened.
00:17:58.800 I didn't try to come up with a snappy snapback.
00:18:01.800 You know, I took it in.
00:18:04.500 I accepted it.
00:18:05.520 And, oh, my God, it was so healing.
00:18:07.480 I have never felt anything like it.
00:18:10.520 And, you know, you were a part of that for me.
00:18:15.040 You gave me so much love.
00:18:17.400 And you showed me love like a true friend.
00:18:22.580 And, you know, I'm going to be forever grateful to you for that.
00:18:26.160 It was so moving.
00:18:27.380 And I think it made me somebody different.
00:18:33.060 And now I'm even wanting to be more fierce in my comedy because no one, connecting with the love rather than the combat, it's changed me.
00:18:44.980 You know what I mean?
00:18:45.660 That's what I saw you doing in your Netflix thing.
00:18:51.760 I thought, well, she's gone to that layer of where it's not, I'm not here to prove or to defend or to, you know, I'm just here to be me, to show me, to be honest, to be raw.
00:19:05.380 And that's a whole a whole growth of a comedian.
00:19:10.240 You know, I remember my husband said to me some years ago, right?
00:19:18.880 He said, Mama, you're really funny, but you haven't touched it yet.
00:19:26.560 And I said, what do you mean I haven't touched it yet?
00:19:29.820 And here, no one's ever been able to talk to me about my standup.
00:19:33.540 That was something that was so personal and private and it was mine.
00:19:38.860 Like that was my baby that I molded that I, so no one could, I didn't allow it, right?
00:19:46.420 But I trusted, I trusted what he was saying to me.
00:19:49.820 And I said, what do you mean?
00:19:51.480 He said, we know the greats.
00:19:55.100 We know them.
00:19:56.720 We know their hurts.
00:19:58.420 We know their victories.
00:19:59.780 We know when they've been victimized.
00:20:02.440 We know them.
00:20:03.880 He said, introduce that audience to you.
00:20:07.340 Let them know who you are.
00:20:10.000 So with the Netflix special, that's what it was like.
00:20:14.220 Let me let y'all know who I am.
00:20:15.960 I have no more to prove.
00:20:17.380 No, you don't.
00:20:18.580 I've proved, but let me let you know who I am.
00:20:22.880 And to hear you feed it back to me, I'm like, she gets it.
00:20:28.040 But then I'm like, yeah, she get it, bitch, because she's one of the greats.
00:20:30.920 So one of the greats will get it, right?
00:20:34.760 So to hear you feed it.
00:20:37.260 Thank you for that.
00:20:38.520 So we do see stuff in each other that other people, they can't see because they haven't lived it.
00:20:44.760 Like, you know, we both have survived being knocked out over and over and over.
00:20:58.640 And for stupid goddamn reasons.
00:21:01.800 I mean, do you think that it's all because we're girls?
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00:22:20.760 You know, I think it's because we're girls with masculine energy.
00:22:28.600 Oh, you said it.
00:22:29.640 Oh, yeah.
00:22:30.840 That's right.
00:22:31.420 And I think that masculine part of us says, what did you say?
00:22:40.180 Wait a minute.
00:22:41.020 And that can set people back, especially if 99% is saying, okay.
00:22:47.980 And then you have this 1%, and not only are we saying it's not okay, we're saying it with some spicy words.
00:22:54.940 We're saying it as we're kicking the door in.
00:22:57.020 We're saying it unapologetically.
00:22:59.200 So, I think that it is, of course, there's a difference when it comes to men and women.
00:23:07.180 No doubt.
00:23:08.080 In our business.
00:23:09.100 In our business, yeah.
00:23:10.140 Of course, there's a difference when it comes to white women and black women.
00:23:15.300 White men, in our business, it is a difference.
00:23:18.000 So, when you get women at, I'll say, and I say this humbly, but when you get women that have accomplished
00:23:27.160 some of the same things that a man has accomplished, and you say, why is this treatment different?
00:23:35.540 And no, I'm not going to let it go.
00:23:37.440 No, I'm not going to just say, okay, well, that's just how it is.
00:23:41.020 I'm going to say something about it.
00:23:42.680 So, I think our personalities can throw people off a little.
00:23:47.380 No.
00:23:47.700 A lot.
00:23:48.600 Yeah, repeatedly.
00:23:50.060 Yeah, I think that's true.
00:23:51.480 Well, we do have that.
00:23:55.660 We want to compete, and we know we can't compete, and we know we can win.
00:24:01.220 And that's hard when you go into a place that's just used to women serving them coffee and saying,
00:24:08.680 uh-huh, yes, oh, what a great idea.
00:24:11.260 You know, it's not anything they have been programmed for at all.
00:24:16.900 It isn't in their programming that a woman is that fierce or funny.
00:24:21.760 It's not, you know, when I started to stand up, there was only like three or four other women doing it, you know.
00:24:28.960 And here it is like 35 some years ago.
00:24:32.200 I mean, I was in a bubble in Denver there.
00:24:34.660 But I come, like, you were talking about the difference between black and white women, you know.
00:24:40.300 And here it is 35 years later, and, you know, I know there's some great black women comedians.
00:24:48.660 But, you know, you're one who's distinguished herself in those waters.
00:24:53.680 But, boy, those women I have tried to bring along or, you know, anything I could do to encourage and, what do you call it, mentor and stuff,
00:25:07.220 which, you know, to a certain extent I can teach some things and then there's other things I can't.
00:25:14.280 But where are all of them?
00:25:16.800 I know there's a few great, great ones that are new that people haven't heard of.
00:25:23.260 But where are they?
00:25:24.140 How come they're not being, how come they're not out there like all these white guy comics I see all over YouTube?
00:25:31.360 I mean, how come they're not, you know what I mean?
00:25:35.100 I think that because though some things have changed, some things are still the same, you know.
00:25:41.880 And in the comedy world for black female comedians, that's still the same.
00:25:49.120 It's inching, but it's really still the same to say, here I am, you know.
00:25:57.440 Here's what I'm doing.
00:25:58.700 Here's what I can do.
00:25:59.740 It's still almost looked at as if just be happy we invited you.
00:26:04.400 Yeah, exactly.
00:26:05.480 That's exactly right.
00:26:06.540 And when you say, like, Samoa is one of the greats.
00:26:12.660 Adele is one of the greats.
00:26:14.520 Miss Laura is one of the greats.
00:26:16.180 Cheryl Underwood is one of the greats.
00:26:18.220 Like these women, they come up with...
00:26:21.180 I love Miss Pat.
00:26:22.460 And I try to help Miss Pat, you know.
00:26:25.360 And I brought her on that last comic standing.
00:26:28.840 I'm like, you're going to win.
00:26:30.180 You're great.
00:26:31.180 You're going to win, you know.
00:26:32.780 And then I saw what goes on backstage.
00:26:35.260 So, you know, my eyes, these here eyes, they always, I don't know, God forces me to see shit that I don't want to see.
00:26:42.840 You know what I mean?
00:26:44.120 Not to see, but I do.
00:26:47.440 And then it blows my mind in a million different ways.
00:26:50.700 And I do see that they resent.
00:26:56.980 They resent.
00:26:59.540 Well, first of all, I know they resent all working class people.
00:27:03.400 Then they resent working class women who have a brain in their head and can speak and tell jokes.
00:27:09.860 They resent that.
00:27:11.080 Smart women.
00:27:12.040 They resent that.
00:27:13.040 But a black woman comic, because comedians are about putting the severed pieces together to create a full picture that's new for people that haven't viewed it in that way, to put those severed parts together, you know.
00:27:26.880 But I've seen them undo black women comedians over and over and, you know, just, I don't know.
00:27:36.860 I know you, you, you've mentored many women and.
00:27:40.660 But that's why I, I, I'll speak to your audience and the people that are listening.
00:27:46.520 And when people were asking me, why are you fighting for Roseanne Barr?
00:27:51.500 I'm like, y'all, because I know her.
00:27:54.520 See, I can't, when I was going through that whole thing, okay.
00:28:00.100 There were very few people that called and checked on me.
00:28:03.800 I know.
00:28:04.600 I can count on my hand and then I can take two fingers down, right?
00:28:10.120 And you were one of those people that continuously said, hey, baby, I'm just checking.
00:28:16.780 I got a recipe for you.
00:28:18.500 I got to send you a video of my grandbaby.
00:28:20.760 Hey, Mo, I'm out in it.
00:28:22.140 So it, it, it, that's why I'm like, y'all, we can't throw away the ones that's in our corner because when you say, I called Miss Pat, I'm making sure that, you know, she's okay.
00:28:36.380 At the Monique show, when wasn't nobody around, you pulled me up and said, check this out.
00:28:41.720 Don't let them take advantage of you, baby.
00:28:44.940 Don't let them use you up.
00:28:47.320 You got something special.
00:28:48.740 Well, no one pulled, it was you and Rita Moreno.
00:28:52.460 Wow.
00:28:52.780 That's cool.
00:28:54.300 That's cool.
00:28:55.240 It was the two of you women that pulled me up.
00:28:58.840 So when, as you sit there and you fight for black female comedians.
00:29:05.240 And black writers, because you know what?
00:29:07.740 I just felt like, well, that, it, it was so racist.
00:29:12.780 I've told you all this, but, but I said, well, you know, that a large part of me, me telling,
00:29:18.400 all these white people all this time, all these producers, network folks, you know that
00:29:23.960 a large percentage of the working class are people of color, right?
00:29:27.920 You know that.
00:29:29.120 Well, I've got to get those writers to reflect.
00:29:31.320 I'm trying to do a show that's real.
00:29:33.480 I don't want to do, you know, I'm doing a different kind of show.
00:29:38.280 That's why I came to TV.
00:29:39.420 And the fight that they, I don't know why.
00:29:43.460 And even like the people that produced my show, they also did different world and Cosby.
00:29:48.040 So they had black writers that they could have sent across the hall.
00:29:52.760 We all worked in the same, but they had something in their mind.
00:29:57.380 I don't know where they didn't want any mix.
00:30:01.020 It was like they wanted segregation.
00:30:03.420 Even right now, when, like when you did Roseanne, I'm sure after one, when once I won the syndication
00:30:10.500 as the star of the show, you got taken care of.
00:30:14.180 It's in syndication.
00:30:15.520 I got 20% of what my work made.
00:30:21.960 Okay.
00:30:22.760 But that's better than a lot of people get.
00:30:26.340 Right.
00:30:27.280 Well, Countess Vaughn and I signed an ownership deal too.
00:30:30.960 You as a white woman has walked away with what you signed up for.
00:30:36.760 We as two black women, we now are in a lawsuit because we're not getting what we signed up
00:30:43.020 for.
00:30:43.540 We're not saying give us any more, but we're saying we can't take less.
00:30:48.780 Just give us what we signed up for.
00:30:52.060 So to say the treatment and difference, our beautiful brother, Dave Chappelle, when Dave
00:30:57.360 Chappelle came out and said, I signed a deal out of desperation, I did sign the deal, but
00:31:03.420 does it make it fair?
00:31:05.260 And they said, no, it's not fair.
00:31:07.340 And they went in and they were able to work something out.
00:31:10.920 Well, all Countess Vaughn and I are saying is we signed a deal.
00:31:15.240 We weren't in desperate measures.
00:31:16.720 We weren't in desperate times.
00:31:17.720 We signed a good deal.
00:31:18.960 Can we just get the deal we signed up for?
00:31:22.780 So that's the difference in the treatment.
00:31:27.620 That's the difference in what happens.
00:31:30.320 Yes, we go through it as women.
00:31:32.540 So if you go through it as a white woman, imagine what we're going through as black women.
00:31:38.560 And what happens, I think in your case, they're looking at you saying, how dare you fight for
00:31:43.260 them?
00:31:43.900 We taking care of you, but your heart won't let you do that.
00:31:47.560 You know, I am grateful that I have a beautiful family and I'm grateful that I have a husband.
00:31:57.560 You've known him.
00:31:59.140 He is back in the room.
00:32:00.800 You guys are best friends from 14 years of age.
00:32:06.040 Yes.
00:32:06.340 Wow.
00:32:06.880 God given.
00:32:08.400 He's been there for the whole journey, you know, the whole journey.
00:32:13.880 And I'm so grateful for it because I don't have to second guess.
00:32:17.600 Yeah.
00:32:18.240 He was there when there was money.
00:32:20.500 He was there when there was no fame.
00:32:22.580 He was there when, when my family, I was going there with my family before I got to the fame.
00:32:28.240 Like he's been there every step of the way.
00:32:30.560 And he's been the person that could say it to me and how I need to hear it.
00:32:37.860 Yeah.
00:32:38.240 That's a big thing.
00:32:39.380 I know you've been married three times like me.
00:32:41.460 You know, a lot of them tried to tell you shit, but you can't hear it.
00:32:44.100 Cause like F you, I'm not hearing that from you.
00:32:47.080 But when you can get a man that can tell you so you can hear it, cause it has to be with
00:32:52.960 a lot of kindness that you really got it made.
00:32:56.860 I loved when you were talking about how you hung up your cape and, and learned, uh, to
00:33:02.640 be the wife of a black man or the partner of a black man.
00:33:07.800 Can you talk about that?
00:33:08.920 Cause I, I'm just saying from my side of the fence here, you know, trying to find decent
00:33:15.480 women for my, uh, sons to get with, I know exactly what you're talking about, but I would
00:33:22.900 like to hear you say that.
00:33:24.160 I love it.
00:33:26.560 You know, I, um, I was a part of the Oprah Winfrey university of empowerment and independency
00:33:33.840 and you don't really need a man.
00:33:35.760 I signed up.
00:33:37.400 I signed up.
00:33:38.560 I wanted to go get it.
00:33:39.820 I wanted, it was like, oh, I don't.
00:33:42.160 So I had that.
00:33:44.500 And let me be clear.
00:33:45.560 She's never said, I just paid attention, right?
00:33:49.880 I just paid attention to the actions of the person.
00:33:53.140 And it was this whole woman thing.
00:33:56.560 I am woman.
00:33:57.400 Hear me raw.
00:33:58.360 And my father said, whoever make the money, make the rules.
00:34:01.700 Well, I've always made the money.
00:34:03.440 Even if I worked at Popeye's, if I was on a cash register, I made more than a fry cook.
00:34:08.260 So, so I've always had that in my personality and I've had that cape on that I am superwoman
00:34:16.360 because I'm taking care of this one.
00:34:18.220 I'm taking care of that one.
00:34:19.540 Everybody come to me for everything until my best friend became my man.
00:34:27.680 And he said to me, when we were best friends, you were not my responsibility.
00:34:35.380 That was up to your other husbands.
00:34:37.380 But when you became mine, you became my responsibility.
00:34:42.660 So you're my responsibility.
00:34:44.780 And Roseanne, when I tell you, I've never had anybody that loved me when I was at my worst.
00:34:53.920 Like I was at my best.
00:34:55.520 Like, because I was a handful.
00:34:59.360 I was shit.
00:35:00.460 I was famous.
00:35:01.800 I had the money.
00:35:03.620 What you saying?
00:35:07.680 Until I got with somebody that said, none of that matters.
00:35:12.020 I see you hurting.
00:35:14.120 I can look at you.
00:35:15.420 And if you keep going the way you're going, you might not be here.
00:35:20.840 So it was those conversations that made me submit.
00:35:25.840 And I know sometimes women get, what you mean submit?
00:35:29.860 I submit to my husband.
00:35:32.620 I honor him.
00:35:34.120 I trust him.
00:35:35.700 His word is what goes.
00:35:37.980 It's like if he says yes, it's yes.
00:35:40.260 If he says no, it's no.
00:35:41.520 And I don't feel any less of a woman.
00:35:44.480 I feel more.
00:35:44.760 You're taking care of, right?
00:35:47.940 Yes.
00:35:48.480 You've got somebody you can trust.
00:35:50.740 You can trust his words to you that they are not piercing and mean.
00:35:55.160 That they're loving you fine.
00:35:56.780 And you can hear them.
00:35:57.700 You can let them in.
00:35:59.020 So I can totally understand that.
00:36:01.540 Boy, isn't that the rub trying to get with, find a partner for that when you're like we are?
00:36:07.360 Man, that's got to be tough.
00:36:09.240 Right.
00:36:09.880 And two, we have to grow up.
00:36:15.600 Because even though we have that gift, you know how they give you something in one earth?
00:36:20.720 Yeah, that's awesome.
00:36:21.760 But they didn't give you in another earth, right?
00:36:25.380 So I think that sometimes, or I know for me, years ago, I could get caught on me.
00:36:33.320 Because don't you know I'm tired?
00:36:35.600 Don't you understand?
00:36:36.560 And I can remember I used to always say to Sidney, can you go get me some water?
00:36:41.180 And he would say, sure.
00:36:42.800 Can you go get me something to eat?
00:36:44.180 He would say, sure.
00:36:45.260 Never.
00:36:46.240 The one time he said to me, can you go get me something to drink?
00:36:49.580 And he said, so let me ask you something.
00:36:59.480 You think that it's okay for you to ask me to do things for you.
00:37:05.280 But for when I ask you, it's a problem.
00:37:08.820 He said, that's not going to work.
00:37:10.840 Well, I had never had, as simple as that is, I had never had anybody say, that's not going
00:37:17.480 to work.
00:37:18.600 This is how this has to work.
00:37:20.640 Like when we first got together, Rosie, I sat at the head of the table.
00:37:23.720 Because I was, come on, baby.
00:37:30.100 And without it being a conversation, it just shifted.
00:37:34.520 One day I just sat to the side.
00:37:36.720 I know exactly.
00:37:37.620 I went to this exact same thing.
00:37:40.300 I know exactly what you're saying.
00:37:42.120 Yes.
00:37:42.480 So I know what you feel when you're saying, trying to see that ones for your sons, because
00:37:51.220 I have sons too.
00:37:54.000 And my sons are very kind.
00:37:56.180 They're very, they're gentlemen and they're patient.
00:37:59.700 They're, they're sweet.
00:38:01.620 And they are what I would want my daughter to bring home.
00:38:05.840 Exactly.
00:38:06.320 Uh-huh.
00:38:06.900 So it makes me a little nervous for what the pickings are, because it's like, what
00:38:20.020 kind of personality will they come with?
00:38:21.720 But I tell them, if they come with your mama's person, if she don't cuss, you can't have her.
00:38:26.720 She got to cuss.
00:38:28.200 If she don't cuss, you cannot have her.
00:38:30.640 Okay.
00:38:31.600 And she got to be spicy with it.
00:38:33.620 She got to be down all the way down.
00:38:36.460 So she got to be loud.
00:38:39.480 She got to be.
00:38:41.000 I said, but if she comes with a challenging personality, but she has a beautiful heart,
00:38:50.480 give her a chance.
00:38:51.900 Because your daddy gave me a chance.
00:38:54.940 Like your daddy gave me a chance to grow up.
00:38:59.320 So that's why I took my cape off.
00:39:01.020 But don't you feel a little bit guilty?
00:39:02.600 Because I do.
00:39:03.580 For all these young girls that saw us, like we saw Oprah, they were like, I'm going to
00:39:08.760 tell that son of a...
00:39:10.900 And now they're the ones where our sons have to pick.
00:39:14.400 Oh, God.
00:39:15.220 That's our karma.
00:39:16.120 Listen, let me tell you.
00:39:20.220 I told them, when you tell me she the one, we going for a ride, you say, mama, she the
00:39:27.600 one, me and your sister taking her for a ride.
00:39:29.900 Because there's some qualifications you've got to come to the table with.
00:39:32.860 Can you bake a cake and scratch?
00:39:34.860 Can you bake a cake with the room temperature butter and the room temperature eggs and a little
00:39:40.440 bit of vanilla?
00:39:40.980 I'm co-signing on that.
00:39:42.160 That is very important.
00:39:43.660 Yeah.
00:39:45.400 And then I'm going to tell her, if you can't bake a cake from scratch, you better walk around
00:39:48.980 naked in heels all day.
00:39:52.240 Well, my son here, Jake, that, you know, he was married to this woman.
00:39:57.980 She talked smack to me, right to my face.
00:40:00.440 And, you know, she talked shit to me, you know.
00:40:03.280 Tell me, well, you're lucky.
00:40:04.420 Here's what she said.
00:40:05.200 Tell me, well, you're lucky I even let your son come over there to see you after all you
00:40:11.440 put him through with what you, with the boyfriends and husbands you've had, blah, blah.
00:40:16.860 Yeah, she did.
00:40:19.180 You didn't take my glasses off?
00:40:20.620 I had to take my glasses off.
00:40:22.420 I had to take my glasses off.
00:40:25.740 Let me grab my glasses.
00:40:28.260 What?
00:40:28.440 So, listen, so I, in my mind, I was like, you, I use every damn bad word.
00:40:36.620 I'm like, I'm going to break this up.
00:40:39.340 This has got to go.
00:40:40.680 I'm not having this, you know.
00:40:43.840 So, you know, I had to do some shit and I did it and it worked.
00:40:48.400 And I was divorced.
00:40:49.820 So I took my son over there to Israel because we're Jews.
00:40:54.280 I took him over there to the Wailing Wall.
00:40:56.140 I said, you know, I guess, how old were you, 36?
00:41:00.240 Probably closer to 40.
00:41:01.620 40, whatever.
00:41:03.780 I said, get over there and pray for a decent woman.
00:41:06.260 That's what, you get over there right now.
00:41:08.000 I brought you over here.
00:41:09.080 Get over there and ask God to send you a decent woman that gets along with me.
00:41:15.340 That's the most important thing.
00:41:17.320 Right?
00:41:17.880 I'm not going to bring in some bitch that tells me how I do when I'm frigging 65 years old.
00:41:24.380 Well, hell no.
00:41:25.520 No, I won't have it off any young bitch.
00:41:29.420 Come on.
00:41:30.440 Come on.
00:41:31.120 Now, see, this is why I tell you, Rosie, this is where I'm going to have to call you up.
00:41:34.940 Okay.
00:41:35.540 And say, listen, I'm at that place.
00:41:38.080 Now, I'm not taking him to Israel because I ain't Jewish, but I'm going to take his ass downtown.
00:41:42.640 And let him go to the wall and talk to it because, see, okay.
00:41:48.340 Now, you see what I'm saying?
00:41:50.140 Let me tell you.
00:41:51.100 Let me finish.
00:41:51.980 Wait.
00:41:52.640 So we come home.
00:41:53.800 Not six months later, he meets the perfect, lovely woman.
00:42:00.260 You know?
00:42:01.140 So it is all about you.
00:42:03.260 You will have the final say over your son's woman.
00:42:07.320 And the best is if you don't let him know you're doing it.
00:42:11.920 You know, you can't let him know how you're doing it.
00:42:14.160 But you will know how to do it.
00:42:15.900 You raised him.
00:42:17.200 And when you see, you know, you got to like really scope her out and see how she, you know,
00:42:23.440 sees what she, and if she's mean to your son at all, you're not going to put up with it.
00:42:30.260 Got to go.
00:42:30.640 So, you got to go.
00:42:34.380 And I thought, I didn't think I would ever be that type of mother.
00:42:39.520 Okay.
00:42:40.580 You didn't?
00:42:42.120 I have.
00:42:43.220 No, because I have two sets of kids, right?
00:42:48.340 I have older kids with one marriage.
00:42:52.040 And then I have the twins, you know, and Michael with the marriage to Sydney.
00:42:57.200 Well, with my older son, I was so busy being famous that it really wasn't that connection.
00:43:04.740 Yeah, I share that.
00:43:05.500 I got it.
00:43:06.240 Okay.
00:43:07.120 It really wasn't.
00:43:08.340 So I prayed for another chance.
00:43:10.740 Like I said, please give me another chance to be a mother.
00:43:13.500 Right.
00:43:14.000 Right.
00:43:14.680 And I got it.
00:43:16.540 And with them now, it is like I find myself being a mama bear.
00:43:23.360 Where it's like, listen, I don't want to have to put my claws into nobody because I know this.
00:43:32.000 Roseanne, don't let me have to call you until I'm locked up.
00:43:34.340 You have a collect call.
00:43:38.300 Because you know your baby Jake is a sweetheart.
00:43:42.920 And not just because you're his mother.
00:43:45.100 Like I don't play that.
00:43:46.460 Like if my son was a bum, it's like, listen, his ass is a bum.
00:43:49.240 But you know when you have a good human being.
00:43:53.240 And it's like because I know they're good human beings.
00:43:56.860 Yes.
00:43:57.420 If I see that that's going to the left, I'm going to mind your business.
00:44:01.240 I'm going to get you.
00:44:02.000 Because you know what?
00:44:02.540 Because you know what's going to happen.
00:44:04.160 I'll tell you what happened.
00:44:05.100 If you don't regulate the women that they marry and stay on top of it without them knowing.
00:44:10.620 And I'm sure Sydney will tell you the same.
00:44:12.640 But he probably has some other way of doing it, being a man.
00:44:15.140 But then she can ruin his whole life, that woman, you know.
00:44:21.040 She can take his kids.
00:44:22.560 You know how these women are.
00:44:24.280 I just like that you might be into like actually discussing how horrible women can be to men.
00:44:31.780 They can be horrible.
00:44:35.260 Listen, they can.
00:44:38.740 But I believe it is conditioning.
00:44:41.780 If you've watched your mama be horrible, your grandmama be horrible, your aunts be horrible, who taught you not to be horrible?
00:44:50.360 You have grown up with a bunch of horrible bitches.
00:44:52.740 So now all you know is to be horrible.
00:44:56.040 So, and that's why I say to them, if you find someone, she might be loud.
00:45:03.900 She might be a jump off queen.
00:45:06.380 She might be the person that says, I don't bother nobody, but if you bother me, we get ready to fight.
00:45:12.160 She may be all those things.
00:45:14.100 But if her heart is pure.
00:45:15.980 See, that's the difference.
00:45:16.540 That is a difference.
00:45:17.980 I go there too.
00:45:19.400 Yeah, if her heart is pure.
00:45:21.000 And the cake.
00:45:21.720 And you can talk to her.
00:45:22.600 And the ability to do the cake from scratch.
00:45:25.380 That is no light thing.
00:45:27.560 Come on.
00:45:27.900 And if she can't, we're going to teach her.
00:45:31.280 And I got to tell her, tuck your teeth.
00:45:45.680 If you can't take them out, tuck them.
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00:47:46.600 Talk them.
00:47:47.400 I saw my grandma, my mom, my aunts.
00:47:51.980 You know, they was all big, fat women.
00:47:54.700 So there goes that.
00:47:55.900 But they were all horrible bitches to everyone.
00:47:59.860 But as soon as a man came around, they pretended like they were nice.
00:48:03.480 That's the thing I saw when I was a little girl.
00:48:05.520 It didn't make any sense to me.
00:48:07.040 I'm like, what?
00:48:07.900 Who are you now?
00:48:08.800 I don't know what you're doing.
00:48:11.500 Well, in my family, they stayed mean bitches when the men were there and when they were not there.
00:48:16.620 So a man didn't change it, baby.
00:48:20.060 Them bitches was just mean.
00:48:26.000 Tuck your teeth.
00:48:27.860 Tuck your teeth.
00:48:29.420 Tuck your teeth.
00:48:30.960 Tuck your teeth.
00:48:32.080 And, you know, because I have a daughter, right?
00:48:36.940 I got three.
00:48:38.300 And, right, so now she's a woman.
00:48:42.540 Like, she's a woman woman.
00:48:43.740 She's a grown woman.
00:48:44.860 And we have to have grown women conversations.
00:48:49.720 You know, it goes incredible because she sees by example, right?
00:49:00.060 She sees my relationship with her dad by example.
00:49:06.200 She sees how there's no arguing.
00:49:12.620 There's no going back and forth.
00:49:14.140 If he says that's what it is, that's what it is.
00:49:16.240 I said, but you got to be wise in your pickings because every man doesn't deserve that.
00:49:20.420 Right.
00:49:20.900 You got to make sure you got the man that deserves that, that can understand what's being given.
00:49:26.880 And it's like we as entertainers, we've seen it all.
00:49:31.780 So, I always say to her, I'm not going to tell you nothing that I ain't been through.
00:49:48.860 Now, what you do with it is up to you.
00:49:52.080 But I'm not going to tell you nothing.
00:49:54.040 I've already been down that road.
00:49:56.060 So, I'm telling you, if you go down that road, baby, this is what's going to happen to the car.
00:50:01.460 But if you go down this road.
00:50:03.080 So, we have a relationship where I feel like I know she listens.
00:50:10.540 It's like, listen, but she's the fighter, right?
00:50:14.360 So, I tell my sons, I can't fight your women.
00:50:17.540 I can't put my hands on them because I'm too old.
00:50:22.760 But your sister can kick their ass.
00:50:25.300 That's good.
00:50:28.000 That's very good.
00:50:30.720 And then we were talking today about aging.
00:50:35.440 That's a bitch.
00:50:36.320 Ain't that a bitch?
00:50:38.780 I'm loving it.
00:50:40.840 You're young.
00:50:41.980 You're only like your 50s, ain't you?
00:50:44.080 In your 50s?
00:50:46.440 I'm 55.
00:50:47.040 So, of course, you think aging's great.
00:50:49.860 Did you go through the menopause yet?
00:50:54.980 Yes, ma'am, baby.
00:50:56.860 I'm hot and cold.
00:50:58.320 How do you love that shit?
00:50:59.960 I'm hot.
00:51:01.460 Well, listen.
00:51:03.140 Ask Sidney how he loved it because he was like, listen, that's enough.
00:51:08.540 I'm like, I'm hot and I'm cold and I'm emotional.
00:51:12.160 And listen, I love everybody.
00:51:14.480 He'd be like, hey.
00:51:15.400 Get just, I'm like, I cannot, I can.
00:51:18.520 One time I thought he peed on me, Roseanne, because the bed was so wet.
00:51:23.080 I'm like, did you, did you pee on me?
00:51:26.060 He was like, get out of my face.
00:51:27.780 I done sweat so much from the menopause.
00:51:30.700 Now, I thought menopause was a black woman's reason to be mean.
00:51:36.820 Oh, exactly.
00:51:37.640 Because I only knew black women.
00:51:39.320 It's always.
00:51:40.780 I thought it was.
00:51:42.020 I was like, why are you being so fucking mean?
00:51:44.400 Well, it was the menopause.
00:51:46.220 Until menopause knocked on my door and said, hello.
00:51:48.860 Oh, I'm like, are you visiting me?
00:51:52.100 Am I emotional?
00:51:53.600 Am I sweating?
00:51:55.140 Am I cold?
00:51:56.640 Am I weak?
00:51:57.640 Am I strong?
00:51:59.640 Exactly.
00:52:01.000 But I'm enjoying this phase.
00:52:03.320 Like, I enjoy the videos you send me of your grandbabies.
00:52:08.580 Like, I enjoy that part of it.
00:52:10.540 I enjoy when we swap recipes.
00:52:13.080 I enjoy when you're out in the garden.
00:52:15.400 And I enjoy that chapter of it.
00:52:18.720 I do too.
00:52:19.020 I am too.
00:52:21.480 Yeah, I enjoy that part of it.
00:52:24.180 The desperate need, that's gone.
00:52:28.140 Which is good.
00:52:28.940 Because, well, we both climbed up as high as probably, I won't say as we can go.
00:52:34.860 Because who knows how, you know, I don't want to put any limit on either of us.
00:52:39.780 Because I think Sydney's right.
00:52:41.660 I don't know if either of us have found it all the way yet or not.
00:52:46.300 When I watch you, this one, we'll talk about that in a minute.
00:52:49.920 When I watch you acting in that, when you were the killer on that, I can't remember.
00:52:55.080 When you, you know, first, yeah.
00:52:58.940 Oh, I just loved it so much.
00:53:01.520 I love that performance.
00:53:03.000 I'm a fan of acting.
00:53:04.640 And you did things I've never seen before that I know nobody else could do.
00:53:09.780 But that evil laugh, I love that evil laugh.
00:53:13.520 And that emotional, I mean, you just really went there.
00:53:16.740 I don't think there's any limit to your acting and comedic ability.
00:53:25.660 And I think, you know, in old age, let's make a pact that we're not going to go, oh, we've done enough.
00:53:31.980 Let's keep trying to grow and trying to keep shocking the shit out of people.
00:53:37.680 Well, let's shock the shit out of them together.
00:53:41.680 I'd love to.
00:53:42.480 You know, I told you I was writing that play.
00:53:46.560 Yeah.
00:53:47.240 Let's shock the shit out of them together.
00:53:49.240 Because I think, I don't think, I won't say that I've done it all.
00:53:54.920 I won't say that.
00:53:56.080 However, everything I've prayed for, I've been kept.
00:54:01.560 I've walked the red carpets.
00:54:03.660 I've done the movies.
00:54:06.640 I've walked on the largest stage you can walk on and receive the gold-plated trophy.
00:54:11.400 Christ, what was that like?
00:54:12.740 You've got to tell me what that felt like.
00:54:14.880 You know, just for you, I know I heard you say, oh, it was for the people.
00:54:19.180 And, you know, how you, you know, the payment was the love and the respect of the fans.
00:54:25.180 And I understood that.
00:54:27.100 But just in that little tiny selfish place where we're talking comic to comic, after all you had gone through, what was it like?
00:54:40.200 I mean, was there some kind of thing where it was like you went back to being three and everything healed or something?
00:54:47.980 I mean, what was it like?
00:54:49.300 Like, when I got that, when they, okay, let me rewind.
00:54:58.560 This is what was special for me, okay?
00:55:01.700 When I showed up that night, let me rewind even further.
00:55:10.520 I'm in fifth grade.
00:55:12.540 Sidney and I up on the balcony in our high school.
00:55:16.100 And I looked at him and I said, we're going to be famous.
00:55:19.380 One day we're going to be stars.
00:55:22.120 And he said, you first.
00:55:24.080 So we go from that moment to that moment, right?
00:55:31.940 Wow.
00:55:32.760 And I was so, and I'm going to say this humbly because I want to make sure I'm clear about what I'm saying.
00:55:41.740 I was not so impressed with the night of the Oscars.
00:55:45.460 I was not so impressed with that night because as a black girl and woman growing up, when I saw the Oscars, people didn't look like me that got it.
00:55:57.960 So it wasn't that when I grow up, I want to win an Oscar.
00:56:01.320 That wasn't that for me.
00:56:02.920 It was when I grow up, I want to win an image award because I saw people in the image award that all look like me.
00:56:08.600 And you did win that too.
00:56:09.640 So that was several of them.
00:56:14.180 And I say that humbly, right?
00:56:15.980 Okay.
00:56:16.720 So in that moment, that night, it was a special moment because I received the orchid that Hattie McDaniel wore in her hair.
00:56:27.500 Someone brought it to my home, right?
00:56:31.540 Yes.
00:56:32.020 Someone brought this orchid to my home and said, this is the orchid Hattie McDaniel, the same kind she wore.
00:56:37.600 I was supposed to wear orange dress, okay?
00:56:41.860 But the zipper broke.
00:56:43.640 So now I have to wear a blue dress, the same color Hattie McDaniel wore when she received her Oscar.
00:56:51.560 So now we get in there.
00:56:53.880 And this beautiful man named Robin Williams.
00:56:57.200 Oh, Robin.
00:56:58.240 And he said, I guess I'll see you later.
00:57:17.500 Wow.
00:57:18.220 Well, he had already sneaked in to look at the envelope.
00:57:21.180 He said, I guess I'll see you later.
00:57:25.960 So those were the moments for me.
00:57:29.600 It wasn't so much receiving that trophy.
00:57:33.380 It was the moments.
00:57:35.840 Yeah, but when they said your name, come on.
00:57:39.300 What do you feel when they said, and they opened that envelope, Monique, I mean, did you just about shit yourself or what?
00:57:47.880 You must have like, it must have been like thunder and light.
00:57:51.760 I felt Hattie McDaniel saying, go get it.
00:57:57.160 So amazing.
00:57:57.800 Because when they gave it to me, I had to sit in the back and they didn't bring me up front till they called my category.
00:58:05.580 So I want you to walk up on that stage and have so much pride and have so much dignity.
00:58:11.920 And I want you to say what you need to say.
00:58:14.340 And then I want you to say good night.
00:58:16.400 And when I said good night, I meant good night because we left there and we went to Uncle Andre's and we got barbecue.
00:58:24.000 And we went home and took off all our clothes and ate that goddamn barbecue and laughed and said, look what they done messed around and gave me.
00:58:35.760 Can you believe that?
00:58:36.960 So it was, it wasn't that.
00:58:40.020 It was just all the things leading up to it.
00:58:44.020 It was everybody saying, she's not going to win.
00:58:47.160 She threw it away.
00:58:49.380 You got to campaign.
00:58:50.620 You got to do this.
00:58:51.180 And they were coming out like bats out of hell for your ass.
00:58:55.340 But I'll tell you how I felt when I saw it.
00:59:00.460 I just had tears running down my face.
00:59:03.840 I said, she broke every fucking one of their goddamn boundaries.
00:59:08.540 Look at her.
00:59:10.040 She broke through every one of them barriers they set up for her every, what, 20 feet along that long road to get there.
00:59:18.420 I was so proud.
00:59:20.780 And you're a comedian that did it.
00:59:24.020 I mean, there aren't, there's just, I mean, yes, you have that legacy of being one of the few black women to have been honored.
00:59:31.660 There's many more who should have been.
00:59:33.940 And still today there is.
00:59:35.980 But as comedians, there ain't too many of them that have gone to win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, which is basically Best Supporting Actress.
00:59:47.240 And I'm grateful for all of it.
00:59:49.560 I know, I'm grateful for every award I've ever got.
00:59:53.220 I am.
00:59:54.000 I'm grateful for anyone that feels like what I did was, was award worthy.
01:00:00.680 But there's one award I received that means a lot.
01:00:03.920 What's that one?
01:00:07.000 I went to, Maxine Waters has a preparatory school in Los Angeles.
01:00:11.840 I didn't know that.
01:00:14.560 And it's for women that need a second chance.
01:00:18.200 Oh, that's great.
01:00:18.980 And trying to get out there and do it again.
01:00:22.200 And I went down and I, and we spoke to each other, me and the women, we spoke to each other.
01:00:27.220 And, Roseanne, when I tell you these women made me an award, and you're talking about sisters that don't have the money, they don't, they don't, they don't, but they put together and they made me an award.
01:00:40.640 That, for me, that outweighs all of them.
01:00:45.100 I've, I've, I've received awards like that myself that mean I put them up there with the Emmy and all that other jazz on my, on my bureaus there.
01:00:56.200 Those, those, those ones, they really mean a lot.
01:00:59.660 The most one that I won that I have to brag about, because it meant a lot to me was that, what's his name, that guy that makes the movies?
01:01:12.600 The big movie maker that made, oh, I can't remember anybody's name.
01:01:16.460 Harvey Weinstein?
01:01:17.240 Not Harvey Weinstein.
01:01:19.420 God.
01:01:19.740 I don't know.
01:01:22.560 Why did I know James was going to say that?
01:01:25.540 But Oscar, Oliver Stone.
01:01:28.620 Oliver Stone.
01:01:29.460 Oscar Stone.
01:01:30.600 Okay.
01:01:31.960 Yeah, Oliver Stone presented me, and that was cool to get it from him.
01:01:36.100 But I got, I won, I won the Eleanor Roosevelt Freedom of Speech Award.
01:01:40.940 That meant so much to me, because anything having to do with her, she was always my idol or hero, one of my heroes growing up, because she, she was just, she changed, she like was a big change in our country for the way everybody thought about everybody else.
01:02:01.480 Do y'all see what's happening?
01:02:03.320 It's like, we're fighting and going through it, and it's just this and that and this and that.
01:02:08.920 What happens when the sky opens up?
01:02:12.320 Now, who mad at who?
01:02:14.160 What happens when the sky opens up?
01:02:15.620 I was really saying, you're thinking aliens are going to come here?
01:02:18.140 A lot of people do think that.
01:02:19.880 Do I think they're going to come?
01:02:22.880 You think aliens are coming?
01:02:25.120 Or you think they're going to?
01:02:26.040 Baby, I think they're going to.
01:02:27.380 Yeah.
01:02:27.880 Did you see some of these people walking around?
01:02:30.060 You're like, okay.
01:02:30.980 I see you not swallowing.
01:02:35.800 I see you not swallowing, baby.
01:02:38.260 Yes, indeed.
01:02:39.240 Why?
01:02:40.040 You ain't blinked in six minutes.
01:02:41.600 I saw that.
01:02:42.580 Yeah.
01:02:42.920 Oh, well, if you're going to go there, then I'm going to go right there with you, because I've been faking like I didn't see that.
01:02:50.100 But yeah, I really go there all the time.
01:02:52.760 Yeah, I don't even think half of these people on TV or whatever we're seeing there.
01:02:57.020 I don't even think they're human.
01:02:58.400 It might be some AI shit they cooked up to get us to look over here while they're stealing all our money.
01:03:04.560 But, you know, I don't even know if they're real human.
01:03:08.580 I don't know if they're alien or what, or if they're, I don't know.
01:03:12.460 I want y'all to look at my neck.
01:03:15.600 I got a fat neck.
01:03:16.960 You see that, Roseanne?
01:03:17.780 I do.
01:03:18.800 Look at mine.
01:03:19.620 It's all wrinkled.
01:03:21.080 If y'all see another Monique and that neck ain't fat.
01:03:24.720 Are you saying that you think they take people out and clone them and put a robot in their place?
01:03:33.960 Well, this is what I'm saying.
01:03:35.600 I don't know what they're doing.
01:03:37.760 I don't know what they're doing.
01:03:39.400 What I know is our eyes, it's like you almost saying, are my eyes deceiving me?
01:03:44.940 Am I saying what I think I'm saying?
01:03:48.040 So I don't know what they're doing.
01:03:50.120 I'm just telling y'all, if you see me and my neck ain't fat.
01:03:57.180 Did you see that Joe Biden signing?
01:03:59.760 Sometimes he's signing with the right half hand and then other time he's signing with the left.
01:04:04.840 Plus, sometimes his earlobes are not hanging.
01:04:08.760 And, like, sometimes they're like this and sometimes they're hanging like this.
01:04:13.040 I don't know which one's the robot or if he got a facelift or if he's a...
01:04:17.980 Every time I see him, I'm like, somebody go get Joey.
01:04:21.320 Somebody go get him.
01:04:22.840 Somebody go get Joey.
01:04:24.640 Go get him.
01:04:25.620 Go get our baby.
01:04:26.780 Now, go cook.
01:04:28.060 He's Uncle Joey at the cookout.
01:04:30.000 Go get him.
01:04:31.080 No, go get him.
01:04:33.220 Now, shit.
01:04:34.700 Go get him.
01:04:35.200 When I was a kid, they came over.
01:04:39.600 They go, hey, somebody found Grandpa.
01:04:42.100 He walked 30 miles to the next town.
01:04:46.820 They thought he was just going to the store, but he forgot where he's going.
01:04:49.820 They found him 30 miles away.
01:04:51.980 Yeah, that's what it's like.
01:04:53.120 Yeah, you're right.
01:04:55.060 You'd be like, somebody get our baby.
01:04:56.800 Somebody go get him.
01:04:58.640 Because, you know, we didn't do it.
01:05:01.640 And we didn't go that way.
01:05:02.620 Listen, listen.
01:05:03.640 Go get him.
01:05:04.540 What's his wife's name, Jill?
01:05:05.800 Yeah.
01:05:07.500 You'd be like, Jill, go get Joe.
01:05:10.780 Go get him.
01:05:11.780 Because.
01:05:16.680 Well, do you think they're nefarious?
01:05:18.920 Like, do you think that it could be their aliens that's out here to just drink our blood
01:05:24.480 and leave our corpse laying there taking our weapons and shit?
01:05:27.700 Do you think they're going to play with me, Justin?
01:05:30.300 Again, I don't know what they're doing.
01:05:35.660 But if you ever FaceTime me and my neck ain't fat, I'm going to come get me.
01:05:43.640 You come get me.
01:05:45.120 Listen, I was doing a show in New York, right?
01:05:48.320 This is the first time I've shared this story publicly.
01:05:52.300 I was doing a show one night in New York.
01:05:54.640 And this guy had on sunglasses in the front row.
01:05:58.880 And I said, listen, I'm not going to come in back over here seeing you with these sunglasses.
01:06:05.120 There's no sun in here.
01:06:06.560 And you're being disrespected.
01:06:08.180 I need to be able to see you, right?
01:06:10.020 So he laughing and I walked to the other side of the stage.
01:06:13.100 I come back.
01:06:14.920 I said, you think I'm playing.
01:06:17.680 If you don't take them damn glasses off.
01:06:20.360 Roseanne, he lifted up his glasses and everything was black.
01:06:24.140 Oh, he didn't have any eyes?
01:06:27.800 Did you hear what I said?
01:06:29.060 What?
01:06:29.200 He lifted up his glasses and everything was black.
01:06:34.900 The energy I got from him was, do you want to comment?
01:06:40.800 I look back at him and the energy I gave him was, I'm going to mind my business and walk
01:06:46.140 my ass back down to the other side of the stage because I want to keep my fat neck.
01:06:50.780 I'm not questioning shit.
01:06:52.360 Keep your glasses on.
01:06:53.600 I bought him a drink too because I didn't want him to go no fur.
01:06:56.960 I didn't want him to be offended.
01:06:59.200 Oh, that's scary.
01:07:03.300 So, you know, we don't know what.
01:07:06.100 I thought you meant he just had like a black holes there with no eyes.
01:07:11.420 No, no.
01:07:13.000 There was just complete black.
01:07:15.020 Like it wasn't, it was like, it was as if take my eyeball, just make my eyeball all black.
01:07:21.100 Yeah.
01:07:21.700 No whites in the eye.
01:07:23.920 Just demonic, you mean?
01:07:27.220 I didn't get that feeling.
01:07:29.820 Like I didn't get a feeling of evil.
01:07:33.100 I just got a feeling of, you really don't want to fuck with us.
01:07:35.920 Oh, yeah.
01:07:36.740 Okay.
01:07:37.700 You really don't want us to go any further.
01:07:40.020 And I'm just like, you're right, sugar.
01:07:41.560 You're right.
01:07:42.240 I'm going to walk down here.
01:07:43.020 You want to run?
01:07:44.520 No, Hennessy.
01:07:45.520 What you like?
01:07:46.400 Oh, that's terrifying.
01:07:51.080 I'm trying to think of something I've seen from an audience that's terrifying.
01:07:56.460 I've had a lot of people.
01:07:57.360 Have you had people go crazy at your shows, stand up and start screaming at you and shit?
01:08:02.060 I had this one in Vegas when I was doing the residency over in Vegas and he's sitting in the back and I'm on stage and he was like, fuck you, Monique.
01:08:15.400 You in an open marriage.
01:08:17.180 What kind of shit is that?
01:08:19.320 Fucking nosy bastard.
01:08:22.400 So here comes security, right?
01:08:25.140 I said, no, no, no, no, no.
01:08:27.520 Leave him alone.
01:08:28.940 I said, come up here.
01:08:30.520 Come on stage.
01:08:31.360 And I want you to tell me how you feel.
01:08:33.400 Oh, my God.
01:08:34.100 Because you're here with your woman.
01:08:35.960 And for you to yell that out and you with your woman, you know you're not getting nothing tonight because she's embarrassed.
01:08:41.760 But I'm getting ready to try to save your ass.
01:08:43.900 You come up on this stage.
01:08:45.180 Well, he came up on this stage.
01:08:50.200 He said, I want to apologize, Miss Monique.
01:08:54.160 It's all right, baby.
01:08:55.080 You just was feeling yourself.
01:08:56.680 Now go on, sit back down.
01:08:57.800 And I patted him on the ass.
01:08:58.800 Go on, sit back down.
01:09:00.720 Yeah.
01:09:01.360 But people love you because you're so sweet.
01:09:04.520 And then you sneak in a meanie.
01:09:06.480 That's really good.
01:09:07.600 That's like double.
01:09:09.440 What's a meanie?
01:09:10.440 Double, level.
01:09:11.780 It's good.
01:09:14.620 My baby said, you sneak in a meanie.
01:09:17.140 What's a meanie, Rosie?
01:09:18.440 Well, I mean, you know, everybody loves you so much that you could say anything is basically what I mean.
01:09:24.480 So when you tell somebody, you know, but you don't do that a lot where you don't go, well, why don't you go F yourself?
01:09:30.940 Well, but on the off chance when you stand up and say this ain't, people can, like your husband, people can hear Monique tell them things that they can't hear.
01:09:43.920 Real people know it's coming from a real place.
01:09:46.720 Yeah.
01:09:46.980 You know what I'm saying?
01:09:48.540 Like when I did the reels and we were talking about you, I said, guys, listen.
01:09:54.580 If you listen to this woman, she ain't coming from nowhere but love.
01:09:59.680 The way we deliver it might set you back and be like, oh, shit, but she's not coming from nowhere but a pure place.
01:10:06.860 There's never where she's coming to be offensive.
01:10:09.360 We, as a gifted comedian, we say shit for how we see it.
01:10:14.780 Now, how you speak it, it's up to you.
01:10:17.820 But then you have to say to yourself, tell me where the lie is.
01:10:21.380 Oh, yeah.
01:10:21.800 That's great.
01:10:22.680 I love that.
01:10:24.200 I love that.
01:10:25.700 That's really, that's a good one.
01:10:28.540 Tell me where the lie is.
01:10:31.580 Regardless as to, it may hurt your feelings.
01:10:34.400 It may have been, some people say offensive, but is it a lie?
01:10:38.900 Well, no, it's the truth.
01:10:40.380 Then we're done talking.
01:10:41.820 If it's the truth.
01:10:43.100 People are afraid to hear the truth, though.
01:10:45.860 Let's get political for a minute.
01:10:47.800 Do you think, I'm trying to fix my, oh, well, I'm just giving up on my hair.
01:10:54.200 Do you think people are really terrified to hear the truth?
01:10:58.420 Any kind of truth?
01:10:59.720 Yes.
01:10:59.940 On any level?
01:11:01.500 Yes.
01:11:02.900 Yes.
01:11:03.600 I used to be one of them.
01:11:05.320 That's why I don't judge it.
01:11:06.560 Oh, really?
01:11:07.540 I used to be, yeah, because my ego was what it was.
01:11:12.360 Don't tell me about me.
01:11:14.700 Don't check me.
01:11:16.800 I, my job is to pay attention to everybody else.
01:11:19.420 So I ain't got to pay attention to me.
01:11:21.620 So I know what that is.
01:11:23.780 That's why I don't judge it when I see it.
01:11:26.040 I speak to it, but I understand it because I can remember Roseanne when I was over 300 pounds.
01:11:33.600 I would not get on a scale.
01:11:37.000 I would not get on a scale at the doctor's office.
01:11:39.280 I wouldn't do it.
01:11:40.200 And she said, Monique, I don't care if you don't get on it.
01:11:43.300 It is what it is.
01:11:44.440 You can keep hiding from it, but this is what it is.
01:11:47.980 I didn't want anybody to say anything to me about it because in my mind, this is how I make my money.
01:11:53.700 In my mind, I'm a big woman until my husband said to me, if you keep going like you're going, me and the boys will be burying you.
01:12:01.620 Well, that would, well, that's my name.
01:12:06.440 Yeah.
01:12:06.920 So I understand what it is to want to be in fantasy.
01:12:11.360 I understand what it is.
01:12:13.520 I understand what it is.
01:12:13.540 That thing.
01:12:14.300 Yeah, I didn't.
01:12:15.160 I never.
01:12:15.880 Yeah, I had that.
01:12:17.220 I didn't want to hear that either.
01:12:19.220 Well, how scary is that when you're finally getting your shit together on your body?
01:12:23.220 Because after you've had an abusive childhood, don't you think that losing, it's not control, but it's like losing touch with your physical body as part of the symptom of having to grow up with that in your head.
01:12:42.680 And it's just like so that you just put on these layers and layers of protection.
01:12:49.320 I remember when I was a little girl, I was really fat.
01:12:52.100 And I remember having this real clear thought about nobody's going to be able to pick me up and carry me anywhere.
01:12:57.980 And it was good.
01:13:00.560 And, you know, I carried it into my entire life.
01:13:05.300 But it was layers and layers of protection.
01:13:08.620 And letting that go is hard, isn't it?
01:13:12.680 Yeah.
01:13:13.040 It's scary.
01:13:14.060 It's scary because you get so comfortable in it.
01:13:17.360 I remember I was comfortable in conflict.
01:13:19.340 Oh, me too.
01:13:19.900 Oh, yeah.
01:13:21.580 I was comfortable.
01:13:22.760 Something had to be happening.
01:13:24.340 Something had to be, you know, Sidney said to me, he would say to me, nine great things can happen for you.
01:13:30.580 And that one thing that don't go your way, you knock out all the nine great things.
01:13:36.660 I was just used to something being wrong.
01:13:40.040 Yeah, because.
01:13:40.580 Because then that's part of trauma in your childhood because then you're like, you're used to it.
01:13:47.660 And then you feel like you're going to get in there and set it straight and fix it.
01:13:51.420 But I would ignore, I would ignore 3,000 people clapping a stand on their feet for me for the one heckler that told me to go F myself or something.
01:14:03.240 That's what I'd obsess on, that one guy.
01:14:05.520 I never let that, I never let light or love or self-acceptance.
01:14:12.120 Because I couldn't let it in.
01:14:14.460 I couldn't, I thought I wouldn't be funny if I, you know.
01:14:18.440 And I think too, that we just got used to trauma and we felt better with trauma.
01:14:32.840 We didn't feel good with the standing ovation.
01:14:35.780 That's nice.
01:14:36.540 But I feel better if I walk off the stage and I get on the phone and there's something wrong.
01:14:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:14:43.440 So, and I think that once we got to a place where we decided to save our lives, people around us took up, because once you decide to save your life, you got to drop something off.
01:14:57.140 Oh, you are so right.
01:14:58.420 Oh my God.
01:14:59.080 When you do, I love how you're putting it.
01:15:00.880 When you decide to save your life, it pisses the people around you off.
01:15:05.000 A lot of them.
01:15:06.520 Don't you?
01:15:08.000 My family, my family, it was like, what are you doing?
01:15:13.400 What are you changing?
01:15:14.460 He's changing you.
01:15:15.820 I'm like, but don't you see me getting better?
01:15:19.200 Don't you see me healing?
01:15:20.960 Well, nobody wanted to see that.
01:15:23.080 It's like, listen, don't you know we like confusion?
01:15:25.900 So, when you are starting to heal, the way that we had to heal, it's like a junkie.
01:15:34.240 It's easy for us to go back and use.
01:15:37.820 It's so easy for us to go back and use.
01:15:40.400 That's why I'm like, listen, I've got to walk away, period.
01:15:44.580 I've got to drop off, period.
01:15:46.460 Because if not, I'll take that poison into my family that I prayed for.
01:15:50.580 Oh, yes, you're so right.
01:15:51.900 Oh, yes.
01:15:52.680 You know, we'll take it right into what we prayed for.
01:15:56.660 So, I am at this place where it's like I am comfortable.
01:16:02.000 Oh, I love to hear that.
01:16:03.600 I love hearing that.
01:16:05.100 But there was 2,999 other people here.
01:16:09.880 Listen, baby, you should get your money back.
01:16:12.640 Because it's no fair that 2,999 people had fun and you didn't, go on and get your money back.
01:16:20.180 Go on.
01:16:21.200 Like, focus on what is instead of what's not.
01:16:25.140 I never would have come to feeling that love for myself, for myself, for my desire to touch people
01:16:40.800 and entertain them and to feel that they felt something for me besides just laughing at my jokes.
01:16:51.340 That they actually loved me, you know.
01:16:54.580 I never felt it until I was down.
01:16:58.540 Here I am with new eyes.
01:17:02.500 And all the time I thought my whole life, well, hell, if you ain't suffering or effed up or having some problem, you're not going to be funny.
01:17:10.500 I did think that.
01:17:11.840 And now, I'll prove to myself all that is wrong.
01:17:18.040 I'm right and better.
01:17:19.220 I'm performing happier and existing in a healthier way.
01:17:28.740 So, yeah, we both learned a lot about how you can heal from trauma in childhood and having abusive shit happen to you.
01:17:41.280 That you've got to come to the thing where it's like, okay, I'm not going to continue it.
01:17:47.560 It happened, yeah, I'll deal with it.
01:17:49.420 But I damn sure I'm not going to put myself in the position to have it happen to me over and over because I realized I put myself in those positions.
01:18:03.360 Right?
01:18:05.780 Yeah.
01:18:06.580 It's amazing.
01:18:07.040 Once we became adults, everything that happened, we allowed.
01:18:13.280 And I can remember Sidney saying to me, because even when I went to therapy, and I went to therapy for years, right, and my therapist, who was absolutely incredible, awesome.
01:18:25.720 And she would always understand and talk me through the behavior because of the molestation, right?
01:18:33.260 And one day, Sidney said to me, listen, stop using that molestation as a crutch.
01:18:40.200 That's something that happened to you when you had no control.
01:18:42.960 You were a child.
01:18:44.000 He said, now, as an adult person, you have control over your emotions, your actions, your choices, your decisions.
01:18:52.500 So anything that you do, you are totally responsible for.
01:18:58.100 Well, that gave me a whole different perspective.
01:18:59.880 Because I thought I had to blame my behavior on.
01:19:04.260 It was easy.
01:19:05.140 It was easy for me to say, well, I'm only doing it because of what happened.
01:19:08.460 Well, that was a mentality.
01:19:10.760 And then you walked across the line into victor mentality, right?
01:19:15.600 Yes.
01:19:16.500 Yes.
01:19:17.500 Yes.
01:19:18.000 I heard you talk about that.
01:19:19.660 That you did, that you did at a later time, you know, you confronted and your brother and, you know, that's as brave as it gets.
01:19:28.840 Yes.
01:19:31.120 You know, when I did the movie Precious.
01:19:34.360 Oh, love.
01:19:37.360 It allowed me to stop resenting him.
01:19:43.280 It allowed me to understand it.
01:19:48.500 Because it is truly a sickness to intentionally want to hurt someone that's defenseless.
01:20:01.180 Now, do I ever want to deal with him again?
01:20:04.180 No.
01:20:04.960 I'm very clear about my position.
01:20:07.060 However, I can move forward without that resentment that was in here.
01:20:12.120 I can move forward because now I understand it.
01:20:14.960 And I wish him the best life has to give him.
01:20:18.500 I just don't choose to see him again.
01:20:21.860 So it allowed me to grow up.
01:20:25.560 It allowed me to understand it.
01:20:28.520 It allowed me not to judge.
01:20:30.280 Boy, that's fantastic.
01:20:32.920 You are a vision of genius in every way.
01:20:40.220 I love talking to you.
01:20:41.620 I probably, I probably wore your ass out with all this here, but.
01:20:47.360 No, listen.
01:20:49.100 So all y'all listening, I just got to let y'all know this.
01:20:52.000 Roseanne will text me sometimes.
01:20:54.280 Just so y'all know, it's three o'clock in the morning.
01:20:56.620 My time.
01:20:57.380 I don't know what time it be with Roseanne is.
01:20:59.900 And listen, she'd be having shit to say.
01:21:02.160 So I will text her back.
01:21:03.560 I will call you in the morning.
01:21:05.440 She'd be like, okay, but I got more shit to say.
01:21:08.240 She will just keep texting.
01:21:10.980 I'm like my baby.
01:21:12.120 Like, listen, it's on my heart right now.
01:21:14.320 I'm going to give it to her right now.
01:21:16.400 So look.
01:21:17.640 And when the phone be going ding, ding, I'd be like, daddy, that's Roseanne.
01:21:21.460 He'd be like, okay, she okay?
01:21:23.280 I'd be like, yeah, she okay.
01:21:24.420 He'd be like, all right.
01:21:25.260 Well, I am just, I just feel so lucky to be alive and sharing this earth with you, girl.
01:21:34.160 At the same time in space.
01:21:36.860 And at this very weird time.
01:21:41.500 And maybe, you know, I just feel something good.
01:21:46.200 Something good will happen.
01:21:47.920 Something good is going to happen for both of us.
01:21:50.000 I felt that for a long time.
01:21:51.760 Because we put so much good out there.
01:21:55.840 I just want to see it grow.
01:21:57.140 I want to see people grab it and share it and spread it, you know?
01:22:00.760 I love you so much.
01:22:02.140 Thank you so much for coming on.
01:22:04.420 I love you, my baby.
01:22:06.400 Jake, I want to say something to you, Jake.
01:22:09.960 You a sweetheart.
01:22:11.140 So when you used to wear accolades, and Jake had to say, no, mama's accolades.
01:22:16.960 I looked at my baby girl like, it's the same thing.
01:22:19.420 Because I say some shit that don't fit.
01:22:21.740 And she'd be like, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
01:22:24.260 We're lucky.
01:22:25.880 We both loved her.
01:22:27.460 She's just a great person.
01:22:29.240 A great spirit as you are.
01:22:31.240 Thank you.
01:22:31.520 God bless you, your family, and everything you do.
01:22:35.560 You know, I love you.
01:22:39.060 I see you on the playground.
01:22:40.400 Oh, you see, my patience is growing thin.
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