Mo'Nique | The Roseanne Barr Podcast #004
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 25 minutes
Words per Minute
155.7693
Summary
Comedian and actress Monique Williams joins Jemele to discuss her life and career and how she was able to persevere in the face of so much adversity. The two also discuss the tragic death of Kobe Bryant and the impact it has had on the world and how it will have a lasting impact on the way we live and the people we love. Jemele is a force to be reckoned with and is one of the most genuine people I've ever met. She truly is a beautiful soul and I am so proud to call her a sister and a friend. She is an inspiration to me and I can t wait to see what she does next in her life! Thank you so much for being here Jemele and thank you for being a sister to me. I love you, I appreciate you, and I'm so proud of you. I hope you enjoy this episode and remember all the beautiful souls who have passed before you. I know you are not alone in this beautiful world. - Jemele Halftime. . Bet MGM is your basketball home for this season! BetMGM is your sportsbook worth a slam dunk! You re gonna love it! And no matter your team, your favorite player, or your style, there s something every NBA fan will love about Bet MGM! - Download the app today and discover why you re your game to the next level this season with Bet MGM. Bet MGM, authorized gaming partner of the NBA, has your back all season long! ! - Bet MGM - is a sportsbook born in Vegas! (MGM) (BETMGMGMGOMG) (ABOUT THE NBA WEEKLYTHANK YOU, BETMGMGOTTERING ME, BABY! ) BOTMGM - BOTGMGM (FASTEST BETTER THAN MEETING AND GIVING ME A SUPPORTING ME THROW ME A FRIENDS IN THE PODCAST? ... AND MORE! AND BOUGOT ME A CHANCE TO SUPPORT ME AND GASK ME AND OTHER THAN I WAS TALKING TO ME AND TALK TO ME IN A FUN AND GOT A PODDS AND A FRIEND AND A FABULARY? ) BOT GMGOT A PRODUCING ME AND A DOUG CHASING ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
Transcript
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Hi, everybody. I'm so excited for my podcast today.
00:01:04.260
It's with a great woman, an icon, just an amazing comedian, a great soul,
00:01:13.440
somebody I'm pleased to share this planet with.
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To me, it's like a miracle that she's alive while I'm alive.
00:01:22.700
It's just great knowing that she is in this world when I'm in this world
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and that I can talk to her and she gets it and she can go.
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She's a deep thinker, great artist in so many respects.
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So let me bring on a dear friend, a great comedian,
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a fantastic artist who lives her life as an artist.
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I did it myself because it was just all wire and like I looked like Einstein.
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You always have the best hair and you always look gorgeous.
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I love the way you looked on your Netflix special.
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So raw, so brave, so funny, cutting edge, fantastic.
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I was proud of you, you know, so proud of you that you don't, you're not going to let
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But you know, that goes both ways because I feel the same way about you.
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You know, I think that it's so funny because coming up, watching your show, right?
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And I watched this woman who was so bold, who was just like, I'm like, did she just say
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Did she just with, and you were so unapologetic about it.
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So to watch you as this younger person and grow up and to develop this beautiful sisterhood
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with you is still, it's almost like we, I think we're kindred spirits because we both
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And when I watched you go through all of that, I got it.
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I'm like, and that's why I wasn't going to let you go.
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I'm like, no, y'all, because y'all are missing it.
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Y'all are missing one of the most caring hearts in the game.
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Do we say it where people can go, yes, we do, but that's what we do.
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And you, you know, just starting out with, you reached out and picked me up out of, you
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know, I was, feel like I was drowning and I couldn't fight, you know, I couldn't, I couldn't
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fight because it's like being in a tsunami of it and it wouldn't stop.
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And they wouldn't even allow me to explain myself nor apologize, nor, you know, anything.
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So, you know, everybody was afraid to say anything in defense of me, but here you came
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So, and I, and you showed up, you know, you showed up for me at a time when there were
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people that looked like me that didn't show up.
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And when people were trying to say these things, I'm like, listen, y'all, I know that woman
00:05:18.640
And the thing she said to me, a racist woman would not say that because she wouldn't care.
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That's why I was like, nah, baby, me and you in this one to the end.
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So when you said, Mo, come on and do my podcast, I'm like, what time and where I'm there.
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You are like, I do feel that you are, you know, my sister.
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It is a one kind of like a being a soulmate kind of thing.
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Because first of all, we have, we both were born with whatever.
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Sometimes we have called it a gift, you know, in our private conversations.
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The gift and the ability to, you know, want to make people laugh and think and feel good
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and go, oh, you know, I never thought about it like that.
00:06:15.180
And we both were talking, I heard you on another interview a couple months back where you're
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And I hadn't heard you say that, but we had talked about the gift, which is also slash a
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You can, it's, you know, I've said that they're gifted people and they're talented people.
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Talent can almost be nurtured and molded and formed.
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Like you can't explain it because it was something that was gifted to you.
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And I remember I, I was afraid to say that, like, I was afraid to say it's a gift because
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I didn't, you know, I didn't want to sound arrogant or, or conceited, but I can't explain
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You know, it just is, uh, in there and it just comes out.
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It's, I, I was saying, I asked this shrink one time, do I have Tourette's or something
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Sometimes when I see some kind of bullshit, I just go around.
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Even when I can't keep my mouth shut, and I loved what, when you were talking, you said
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You know, that, I really wanted to talk about that too, because boy, that is what they tell
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And particularly when you're being really bullied, when you're being really bullied and you don't
00:08:04.240
have any allies and you don't have any power is when they really like to tell you to let
00:08:18.800
I feel bad for the sisters that came before us that had no foundation of people saying,
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And there was no one to hold onto them to say, you're not crazy, baby.
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If it quack like a duck and it walk like a duck, it's a duck.
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They had no one to say what you're seeing and what you're feeling is okay.
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So when I've been told, Monique, just let it go.
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Just, I'm like y'all, but that's why the bullying and the exploitation can keep happening.
00:08:59.340
If we keep letting it go, we then let them go on to the next one and do the same thing,
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It's like all they tell you to be quiet and don't talk, and that is all to protect the aggressor, the abuser.
00:09:22.680
Everything seems like it's set up to protect them.
00:09:30.100
Just in the way that the universe works, you never get away with it.
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You know on Scooby-Doo, when they almost got away with it, if it wasn't for them mangly kids,
00:09:54.280
If you've done malice, if you've done hurt, if you've done harm, you don't leave untouched.
00:10:03.280
And if you've done good, and if you've been kind, and if you've been loving, you don't leave untouched.
00:10:13.540
That's why I kept saying to you, Rosie, don't worry about it, baby, because your heart is pure.
00:10:23.400
We got to block it out because it always comes back around to the ones that's supposed to get it and to the ones that's supposed to get it.
00:10:33.580
Well, you know, I've had my faith in that shaken a little bit because, you know, just looking at the world and how it works,
00:10:43.540
it seems like a lot of people that are horrible, they die real comfortable in their big mansions, you know.
00:10:49.580
And a lot of people who are good people die, you know, dead poor and suffering.
00:11:01.180
Maybe not on this earth it doesn't all equal out, but somewhere I suppose it does in the great big, what do you call it, tabulation of things.
00:11:11.640
I think it does matter somewhere, but it doesn't seem like it works here.
00:11:21.040
I think the perception oftentimes makes us believe they went out comfortable and they went out this way because they may have went out in a mansion.
00:11:30.340
But when you know you've done wrong, baby, you got to take them last seconds of breath by yourself.
00:11:38.340
When you know you've done right, regardless as to how you go out, if you land on a cot or if you land on a $20 million bed, you know how you got to take them last seconds.
00:11:52.540
So I truly believe in this space right now, if you've done good, it's going to come back to you as it's coming to you right now.
00:12:04.520
And sometimes, Rosie, we can't see it because we can only see the wrong.
00:12:12.000
I think you're right that when you know you've done right and you're taking your last few breaths, then I think you do rest in peace.
00:12:19.920
And I think that there are people probably who die and they go, oh, my God, I've done terrible, terrible things.
00:12:27.220
And there are some people that they just don't have those things like that regular human beings have.
00:12:49.180
We can look at the ashes and say, we don't know what they feel.
00:12:54.800
And for us, for the ones that's been told, be quiet.
00:13:13.740
So I believe that for the ones that came to this earth gifted, you can't get rid of that gift because it's not yours to take.
00:13:24.120
Because I was like, okay, I just give up and I'm not going to.
00:13:27.660
And then, you know, I felt like, oh, God is always calling me on the phone, you know, or whatever and saying, you got to go.
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Seriously, it never works out good for me when, you know, you give me this feeling.
00:13:45.680
Get somebody that they like and they want to hear something.
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But he's like, no, it has to be you and you have to do it because I did give you that gift and you're not going to let it rot away.
00:14:01.820
And, you know, the fire you have when you're first real hungry and you're, you know, wanting to make your mark and that talent is on fire in your guts, you know.
00:14:11.040
And so when you get your first opportunity, you just eat it up.
00:14:14.500
I was hearing you talk about doing some movies and how fun it was and creating while you're performing, you know, being in the zone of fire, you know, inner fire and how great that feels and how wonderful it is.
00:14:31.180
And so, yeah, you can't, you can't just sit there and do nothing with it.
00:14:39.100
That'll drive you even more into a horrible depression.
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I know you've got to get out there and do it and act and reconnect and reconfigure and just try to find a new way in.
00:14:55.120
Well, I was trying to find a way into people to help.
00:15:01.440
That's what's so horrible is because we mean well and we want to heal, right?
00:15:07.340
It's part of the whole thing is to slay them dragons with words so people can be free, right?
00:15:17.900
And I've gotten okay with if one person gets it.
00:15:22.900
You know, because you know how when you first come in and you want to make everybody happy and you want everybody to get it and you want everybody to get you.
00:15:31.560
And then as you go through it, you're like, you know what?
00:15:37.420
But if one person get me, we don't know who that one person might be.
00:15:42.040
Yeah, and isn't it great that they come up, you know, in your regular life and somebody comes up and says how they were touched or moved or, you know, wanted to change their life when they heard you or something you did helped them get better.
00:15:58.220
You know, they realized they had some self-reflection because of something you had said.
00:16:09.580
And I have to tell those people because when they come up and they say, Mo, you saved my life.
00:16:15.260
And I'll look at them and say, you saved mine too.
00:16:23.940
You know, we need, for me, there was a time, Rosie, that I needed those hugs.
00:16:37.860
Because there were times when I walked on that stage, baby, the stuff was so crazy.
00:16:45.380
I needed to know that people were laughing with me and not at me.
00:16:49.140
So, for the people that do that, I'm so grateful.
00:16:53.340
But I had to let them know immediately, you saved mine too, baby.
00:16:59.540
You know, it was a big thing that when I went through it, it was really like, it was like, why have I, but this and that and the other.
00:17:08.060
But one thing that did for me was, I used to be, you know, I always wanted to snap on the joke, you know, come back.
00:17:25.200
It was kind of a way to just separate myself from people.
00:17:28.640
Because I'd be like, yeah, you, you know, blah, blah.
00:17:31.580
Well, you, that's because, you know, have a joke there.
00:17:34.100
And then when I was just so broken, it was the first time when I accepted love from people.
00:17:46.740
I never had known how to do that before because I was always like, oh, you're on.
00:17:58.800
I didn't try to come up with a snappy snapback.
00:18:22.580
And, you know, I'm going to be forever grateful to you for that.
00:18:33.060
And now I'm even wanting to be more fierce in my comedy because no one, connecting with the love rather than the combat, it's changed me.
00:18:45.660
That's what I saw you doing in your Netflix thing.
00:18:51.760
I thought, well, she's gone to that layer of where it's not, I'm not here to prove or to defend or to, you know, I'm just here to be me, to show me, to be honest, to be raw.
00:19:05.380
And that's a whole a whole growth of a comedian.
00:19:10.240
You know, I remember my husband said to me some years ago, right?
00:19:18.880
He said, Mama, you're really funny, but you haven't touched it yet.
00:19:26.560
And I said, what do you mean I haven't touched it yet?
00:19:29.820
And here, no one's ever been able to talk to me about my standup.
00:19:33.540
That was something that was so personal and private and it was mine.
00:19:38.860
Like that was my baby that I molded that I, so no one could, I didn't allow it, right?
00:19:46.420
But I trusted, I trusted what he was saying to me.
00:20:10.000
So with the Netflix special, that's what it was like.
00:20:22.880
And to hear you feed it back to me, I'm like, she gets it.
00:20:28.040
But then I'm like, yeah, she get it, bitch, because she's one of the greats.
00:20:38.520
So we do see stuff in each other that other people, they can't see because they haven't lived it.
00:20:44.760
Like, you know, we both have survived being knocked out over and over and over.
00:21:01.800
I mean, do you think that it's all because we're girls?
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You know, I think it's because we're girls with masculine energy.
00:22:31.420
And I think that masculine part of us says, what did you say?
00:22:41.020
And that can set people back, especially if 99% is saying, okay.
00:22:47.980
And then you have this 1%, and not only are we saying it's not okay, we're saying it with some spicy words.
00:22:59.200
So, I think that it is, of course, there's a difference when it comes to men and women.
00:23:10.140
Of course, there's a difference when it comes to white women and black women.
00:23:15.300
White men, in our business, it is a difference.
00:23:18.000
So, when you get women at, I'll say, and I say this humbly, but when you get women that have accomplished
00:23:27.160
some of the same things that a man has accomplished, and you say, why is this treatment different?
00:23:37.440
No, I'm not going to just say, okay, well, that's just how it is.
00:23:42.680
So, I think our personalities can throw people off a little.
00:23:55.660
We want to compete, and we know we can't compete, and we know we can win.
00:24:01.220
And that's hard when you go into a place that's just used to women serving them coffee and saying,
00:24:11.260
You know, it's not anything they have been programmed for at all.
00:24:16.900
It isn't in their programming that a woman is that fierce or funny.
00:24:21.760
It's not, you know, when I started to stand up, there was only like three or four other women doing it, you know.
00:24:34.660
But I come, like, you were talking about the difference between black and white women, you know.
00:24:40.300
And here it is 35 years later, and, you know, I know there's some great black women comedians.
00:24:48.660
But, you know, you're one who's distinguished herself in those waters.
00:24:53.680
But, boy, those women I have tried to bring along or, you know, anything I could do to encourage and, what do you call it, mentor and stuff,
00:25:07.220
which, you know, to a certain extent I can teach some things and then there's other things I can't.
00:25:16.800
I know there's a few great, great ones that are new that people haven't heard of.
00:25:24.140
How come they're not being, how come they're not out there like all these white guy comics I see all over YouTube?
00:25:31.360
I mean, how come they're not, you know what I mean?
00:25:35.100
I think that because though some things have changed, some things are still the same, you know.
00:25:41.880
And in the comedy world for black female comedians, that's still the same.
00:25:49.120
It's inching, but it's really still the same to say, here I am, you know.
00:25:59.740
It's still almost looked at as if just be happy we invited you.
00:26:06.540
And when you say, like, Samoa is one of the greats.
00:26:35.260
So, you know, my eyes, these here eyes, they always, I don't know, God forces me to see shit that I don't want to see.
00:26:47.440
And then it blows my mind in a million different ways.
00:26:59.540
Well, first of all, I know they resent all working class people.
00:27:03.400
Then they resent working class women who have a brain in their head and can speak and tell jokes.
00:27:13.040
But a black woman comic, because comedians are about putting the severed pieces together to create a full picture that's new for people that haven't viewed it in that way, to put those severed parts together, you know.
00:27:26.880
But I've seen them undo black women comedians over and over and, you know, just, I don't know.
00:27:36.860
I know you, you, you've mentored many women and.
00:27:40.660
But that's why I, I, I'll speak to your audience and the people that are listening.
00:27:46.520
And when people were asking me, why are you fighting for Roseanne Barr?
00:27:54.520
See, I can't, when I was going through that whole thing, okay.
00:28:00.100
There were very few people that called and checked on me.
00:28:04.600
I can count on my hand and then I can take two fingers down, right?
00:28:10.120
And you were one of those people that continuously said, hey, baby, I'm just checking.
00:28:22.140
So it, it, it, that's why I'm like, y'all, we can't throw away the ones that's in our corner because when you say, I called Miss Pat, I'm making sure that, you know, she's okay.
00:28:36.380
At the Monique show, when wasn't nobody around, you pulled me up and said, check this out.
00:28:48.740
Well, no one pulled, it was you and Rita Moreno.
00:28:58.840
So when, as you sit there and you fight for black female comedians.
00:29:07.740
I just felt like, well, that, it, it was so racist.
00:29:12.780
I've told you all this, but, but I said, well, you know, that a large part of me, me telling,
00:29:18.400
all these white people all this time, all these producers, network folks, you know that
00:29:23.960
a large percentage of the working class are people of color, right?
00:29:29.120
Well, I've got to get those writers to reflect.
00:29:33.480
I don't want to do, you know, I'm doing a different kind of show.
00:29:43.460
And even like the people that produced my show, they also did different world and Cosby.
00:29:48.040
So they had black writers that they could have sent across the hall.
00:29:52.760
We all worked in the same, but they had something in their mind.
00:30:03.420
Even right now, when, like when you did Roseanne, I'm sure after one, when once I won the syndication
00:30:10.500
as the star of the show, you got taken care of.
00:30:27.280
Well, Countess Vaughn and I signed an ownership deal too.
00:30:30.960
You as a white woman has walked away with what you signed up for.
00:30:36.760
We as two black women, we now are in a lawsuit because we're not getting what we signed up
00:30:43.540
We're not saying give us any more, but we're saying we can't take less.
00:30:52.060
So to say the treatment and difference, our beautiful brother, Dave Chappelle, when Dave
00:30:57.360
Chappelle came out and said, I signed a deal out of desperation, I did sign the deal, but
00:31:07.340
And they went in and they were able to work something out.
00:31:10.920
Well, all Countess Vaughn and I are saying is we signed a deal.
00:31:32.540
So if you go through it as a white woman, imagine what we're going through as black women.
00:31:38.560
And what happens, I think in your case, they're looking at you saying, how dare you fight for
00:31:43.900
We taking care of you, but your heart won't let you do that.
00:31:47.560
You know, I am grateful that I have a beautiful family and I'm grateful that I have a husband.
00:32:00.800
You guys are best friends from 14 years of age.
00:32:08.400
He's been there for the whole journey, you know, the whole journey.
00:32:13.880
And I'm so grateful for it because I don't have to second guess.
00:32:22.580
He was there when, when my family, I was going there with my family before I got to the fame.
00:32:30.560
And he's been the person that could say it to me and how I need to hear it.
00:32:39.380
I know you've been married three times like me.
00:32:41.460
You know, a lot of them tried to tell you shit, but you can't hear it.
00:32:44.100
Cause like F you, I'm not hearing that from you.
00:32:47.080
But when you can get a man that can tell you so you can hear it, cause it has to be with
00:32:56.860
I loved when you were talking about how you hung up your cape and, and learned, uh, to
00:33:02.640
be the wife of a black man or the partner of a black man.
00:33:08.920
Cause I, I'm just saying from my side of the fence here, you know, trying to find decent
00:33:15.480
women for my, uh, sons to get with, I know exactly what you're talking about, but I would
00:33:26.560
You know, I, um, I was a part of the Oprah Winfrey university of empowerment and independency
00:33:45.560
She's never said, I just paid attention, right?
00:33:49.880
I just paid attention to the actions of the person.
00:33:58.360
And my father said, whoever make the money, make the rules.
00:34:03.440
Even if I worked at Popeye's, if I was on a cash register, I made more than a fry cook.
00:34:08.260
So, so I've always had that in my personality and I've had that cape on that I am superwoman
00:34:19.540
Everybody come to me for everything until my best friend became my man.
00:34:27.680
And he said to me, when we were best friends, you were not my responsibility.
00:34:37.380
But when you became mine, you became my responsibility.
00:34:44.780
And Roseanne, when I tell you, I've never had anybody that loved me when I was at my worst.
00:35:07.680
Until I got with somebody that said, none of that matters.
00:35:15.420
And if you keep going the way you're going, you might not be here.
00:35:20.840
So it was those conversations that made me submit.
00:35:25.840
And I know sometimes women get, what you mean submit?
00:35:50.740
You can trust his words to you that they are not piercing and mean.
00:36:01.540
Boy, isn't that the rub trying to get with, find a partner for that when you're like we are?
00:36:15.600
Because even though we have that gift, you know how they give you something in one earth?
00:36:21.760
But they didn't give you in another earth, right?
00:36:25.380
So I think that sometimes, or I know for me, years ago, I could get caught on me.
00:36:36.560
And I can remember I used to always say to Sidney, can you go get me some water?
00:36:46.240
The one time he said to me, can you go get me something to drink?
00:36:59.480
You think that it's okay for you to ask me to do things for you.
00:37:10.840
Well, I had never had, as simple as that is, I had never had anybody say, that's not going
00:37:20.640
Like when we first got together, Rosie, I sat at the head of the table.
00:37:30.100
And without it being a conversation, it just shifted.
00:37:42.480
So I know what you feel when you're saying, trying to see that ones for your sons, because
00:37:56.180
They're very, they're gentlemen and they're patient.
00:38:01.620
And they are what I would want my daughter to bring home.
00:38:06.900
So it makes me a little nervous for what the pickings are, because it's like, what
00:38:21.720
But I tell them, if they come with your mama's person, if she don't cuss, you can't have her.
00:38:41.000
I said, but if she comes with a challenging personality, but she has a beautiful heart,
00:39:03.580
For all these young girls that saw us, like we saw Oprah, they were like, I'm going to
00:39:10.900
And now they're the ones where our sons have to pick.
00:39:20.220
I told them, when you tell me she the one, we going for a ride, you say, mama, she the
00:39:29.900
Because there's some qualifications you've got to come to the table with.
00:39:34.860
Can you bake a cake with the room temperature butter and the room temperature eggs and a little
00:39:45.400
And then I'm going to tell her, if you can't bake a cake from scratch, you better walk around
00:39:52.240
Well, my son here, Jake, that, you know, he was married to this woman.
00:40:00.440
And, you know, she talked shit to me, you know.
00:40:05.200
Tell me, well, you're lucky I even let your son come over there to see you after all you
00:40:11.440
put him through with what you, with the boyfriends and husbands you've had, blah, blah.
00:40:28.440
So, listen, so I, in my mind, I was like, you, I use every damn bad word.
00:40:43.840
So, you know, I had to do some shit and I did it and it worked.
00:40:49.820
So I took my son over there to Israel because we're Jews.
00:40:56.140
I said, you know, I guess, how old were you, 36?
00:41:03.780
I said, get over there and pray for a decent woman.
00:41:09.080
Get over there and ask God to send you a decent woman that gets along with me.
00:41:17.880
I'm not going to bring in some bitch that tells me how I do when I'm frigging 65 years old.
00:41:31.120
Now, see, this is why I tell you, Rosie, this is where I'm going to have to call you up.
00:41:38.080
Now, I'm not taking him to Israel because I ain't Jewish, but I'm going to take his ass downtown.
00:41:42.640
And let him go to the wall and talk to it because, see, okay.
00:41:53.800
Not six months later, he meets the perfect, lovely woman.
00:42:03.260
You will have the final say over your son's woman.
00:42:07.320
And the best is if you don't let him know you're doing it.
00:42:11.920
You know, you can't let him know how you're doing it.
00:42:17.200
And when you see, you know, you got to like really scope her out and see how she, you know,
00:42:23.440
sees what she, and if she's mean to your son at all, you're not going to put up with it.
00:42:34.380
And I thought, I didn't think I would ever be that type of mother.
00:42:52.040
And then I have the twins, you know, and Michael with the marriage to Sydney.
00:42:57.200
Well, with my older son, I was so busy being famous that it really wasn't that connection.
00:43:10.740
Like I said, please give me another chance to be a mother.
00:43:16.540
And with them now, it is like I find myself being a mama bear.
00:43:23.360
Where it's like, listen, I don't want to have to put my claws into nobody because I know this.
00:43:32.000
Roseanne, don't let me have to call you until I'm locked up.
00:43:38.300
Because you know your baby Jake is a sweetheart.
00:43:46.460
Like if my son was a bum, it's like, listen, his ass is a bum.
00:43:53.240
And it's like because I know they're good human beings.
00:43:57.420
If I see that that's going to the left, I'm going to mind your business.
00:44:05.100
If you don't regulate the women that they marry and stay on top of it without them knowing.
00:44:12.640
But he probably has some other way of doing it, being a man.
00:44:15.140
But then she can ruin his whole life, that woman, you know.
00:44:24.280
I just like that you might be into like actually discussing how horrible women can be to men.
00:44:41.780
If you've watched your mama be horrible, your grandmama be horrible, your aunts be horrible, who taught you not to be horrible?
00:44:50.360
You have grown up with a bunch of horrible bitches.
00:44:56.040
So, and that's why I say to them, if you find someone, she might be loud.
00:45:06.380
She might be the person that says, I don't bother nobody, but if you bother me, we get ready to fight.
00:45:47.520
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00:47:55.900
But they were all horrible bitches to everyone.
00:47:59.860
But as soon as a man came around, they pretended like they were nice.
00:48:03.480
That's the thing I saw when I was a little girl.
00:48:11.500
Well, in my family, they stayed mean bitches when the men were there and when they were not there.
00:48:32.080
And, you know, because I have a daughter, right?
00:48:49.720
You know, it goes incredible because she sees by example, right?
00:49:00.060
She sees my relationship with her dad by example.
00:49:14.140
If he says that's what it is, that's what it is.
00:49:16.240
I said, but you got to be wise in your pickings because every man doesn't deserve that.
00:49:20.900
You got to make sure you got the man that deserves that, that can understand what's being given.
00:49:26.880
And it's like we as entertainers, we've seen it all.
00:49:31.780
So, I always say to her, I'm not going to tell you nothing that I ain't been through.
00:49:56.060
So, I'm telling you, if you go down that road, baby, this is what's going to happen to the car.
00:50:03.080
So, we have a relationship where I feel like I know she listens.
00:50:10.540
It's like, listen, but she's the fighter, right?
00:50:17.540
I can't put my hands on them because I'm too old.
00:51:03.140
Ask Sidney how he loved it because he was like, listen, that's enough.
00:51:08.540
I'm like, I'm hot and I'm cold and I'm emotional.
00:51:18.520
One time I thought he peed on me, Roseanne, because the bed was so wet.
00:51:30.700
Now, I thought menopause was a black woman's reason to be mean.
00:51:46.220
Until menopause knocked on my door and said, hello.
00:52:03.320
Like, I enjoy the videos you send me of your grandbabies.
00:52:28.940
Because, well, we both climbed up as high as probably, I won't say as we can go.
00:52:34.860
Because who knows how, you know, I don't want to put any limit on either of us.
00:52:41.660
I don't know if either of us have found it all the way yet or not.
00:52:46.300
When I watch you, this one, we'll talk about that in a minute.
00:52:49.920
When I watch you acting in that, when you were the killer on that, I can't remember.
00:53:04.640
And you did things I've never seen before that I know nobody else could do.
00:53:13.520
And that emotional, I mean, you just really went there.
00:53:16.740
I don't think there's any limit to your acting and comedic ability.
00:53:25.660
And I think, you know, in old age, let's make a pact that we're not going to go, oh, we've done enough.
00:53:31.980
Let's keep trying to grow and trying to keep shocking the shit out of people.
00:53:37.680
Well, let's shock the shit out of them together.
00:53:49.240
Because I think, I don't think, I won't say that I've done it all.
00:53:56.080
However, everything I've prayed for, I've been kept.
00:54:06.640
I've walked on the largest stage you can walk on and receive the gold-plated trophy.
00:54:14.880
You know, just for you, I know I heard you say, oh, it was for the people.
00:54:19.180
And, you know, how you, you know, the payment was the love and the respect of the fans.
00:54:27.100
But just in that little tiny selfish place where we're talking comic to comic, after all you had gone through, what was it like?
00:54:40.200
I mean, was there some kind of thing where it was like you went back to being three and everything healed or something?
00:54:49.300
Like, when I got that, when they, okay, let me rewind.
00:55:01.700
When I showed up that night, let me rewind even further.
00:55:12.540
Sidney and I up on the balcony in our high school.
00:55:16.100
And I looked at him and I said, we're going to be famous.
00:55:24.080
So we go from that moment to that moment, right?
00:55:32.760
And I was so, and I'm going to say this humbly because I want to make sure I'm clear about what I'm saying.
00:55:41.740
I was not so impressed with the night of the Oscars.
00:55:45.460
I was not so impressed with that night because as a black girl and woman growing up, when I saw the Oscars, people didn't look like me that got it.
00:55:57.960
So it wasn't that when I grow up, I want to win an Oscar.
00:56:02.920
It was when I grow up, I want to win an image award because I saw people in the image award that all look like me.
00:56:16.720
So in that moment, that night, it was a special moment because I received the orchid that Hattie McDaniel wore in her hair.
00:56:32.020
Someone brought this orchid to my home and said, this is the orchid Hattie McDaniel, the same kind she wore.
00:56:43.640
So now I have to wear a blue dress, the same color Hattie McDaniel wore when she received her Oscar.
00:57:18.220
Well, he had already sneaked in to look at the envelope.
00:57:39.300
What do you feel when they said, and they opened that envelope, Monique, I mean, did you just about shit yourself or what?
00:57:47.880
You must have like, it must have been like thunder and light.
00:57:57.800
Because when they gave it to me, I had to sit in the back and they didn't bring me up front till they called my category.
00:58:05.580
So I want you to walk up on that stage and have so much pride and have so much dignity.
00:58:16.400
And when I said good night, I meant good night because we left there and we went to Uncle Andre's and we got barbecue.
00:58:24.000
And we went home and took off all our clothes and ate that goddamn barbecue and laughed and said, look what they done messed around and gave me.
00:58:44.020
It was everybody saying, she's not going to win.
00:58:51.180
And they were coming out like bats out of hell for your ass.
00:59:03.840
I said, she broke every fucking one of their goddamn boundaries.
00:59:10.040
She broke through every one of them barriers they set up for her every, what, 20 feet along that long road to get there.
00:59:24.020
I mean, there aren't, there's just, I mean, yes, you have that legacy of being one of the few black women to have been honored.
00:59:35.980
But as comedians, there ain't too many of them that have gone to win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress, which is basically Best Supporting Actress.
00:59:49.560
I know, I'm grateful for every award I've ever got.
00:59:54.000
I'm grateful for anyone that feels like what I did was, was award worthy.
01:00:00.680
But there's one award I received that means a lot.
01:00:07.000
I went to, Maxine Waters has a preparatory school in Los Angeles.
01:00:22.200
And I went down and I, and we spoke to each other, me and the women, we spoke to each other.
01:00:27.220
And, Roseanne, when I tell you these women made me an award, and you're talking about sisters that don't have the money, they don't, they don't, they don't, but they put together and they made me an award.
01:00:45.100
I've, I've, I've received awards like that myself that mean I put them up there with the Emmy and all that other jazz on my, on my bureaus there.
01:00:56.200
Those, those, those ones, they really mean a lot.
01:00:59.660
The most one that I won that I have to brag about, because it meant a lot to me was that, what's his name, that guy that makes the movies?
01:01:12.600
The big movie maker that made, oh, I can't remember anybody's name.
01:01:31.960
Yeah, Oliver Stone presented me, and that was cool to get it from him.
01:01:36.100
But I got, I won, I won the Eleanor Roosevelt Freedom of Speech Award.
01:01:40.940
That meant so much to me, because anything having to do with her, she was always my idol or hero, one of my heroes growing up, because she, she was just, she changed, she like was a big change in our country for the way everybody thought about everybody else.
01:02:03.320
It's like, we're fighting and going through it, and it's just this and that and this and that.
01:02:15.620
I was really saying, you're thinking aliens are going to come here?
01:02:27.880
Did you see some of these people walking around?
01:02:42.920
Oh, well, if you're going to go there, then I'm going to go right there with you, because I've been faking like I didn't see that.
01:02:52.760
Yeah, I don't even think half of these people on TV or whatever we're seeing there.
01:02:58.400
It might be some AI shit they cooked up to get us to look over here while they're stealing all our money.
01:03:04.560
But, you know, I don't even know if they're real human.
01:03:08.580
I don't know if they're alien or what, or if they're, I don't know.
01:03:21.080
If y'all see another Monique and that neck ain't fat.
01:03:24.720
Are you saying that you think they take people out and clone them and put a robot in their place?
01:03:39.400
What I know is our eyes, it's like you almost saying, are my eyes deceiving me?
01:03:50.120
I'm just telling y'all, if you see me and my neck ain't fat.
01:03:59.760
Sometimes he's signing with the right half hand and then other time he's signing with the left.
01:04:08.760
And, like, sometimes they're like this and sometimes they're hanging like this.
01:04:13.040
I don't know which one's the robot or if he got a facelift or if he's a...
01:04:17.980
Every time I see him, I'm like, somebody go get Joey.
01:04:46.820
They thought he was just going to the store, but he forgot where he's going.
01:05:18.920
Like, do you think that it could be their aliens that's out here to just drink our blood
01:05:24.480
and leave our corpse laying there taking our weapons and shit?
01:05:27.700
Do you think they're going to play with me, Justin?
01:05:35.660
But if you ever FaceTime me and my neck ain't fat, I'm going to come get me.
01:05:48.320
This is the first time I've shared this story publicly.
01:05:54.640
And this guy had on sunglasses in the front row.
01:05:58.880
And I said, listen, I'm not going to come in back over here seeing you with these sunglasses.
01:06:10.020
So he laughing and I walked to the other side of the stage.
01:06:20.360
Roseanne, he lifted up his glasses and everything was black.
01:06:29.200
He lifted up his glasses and everything was black.
01:06:34.900
The energy I got from him was, do you want to comment?
01:06:40.800
I look back at him and the energy I gave him was, I'm going to mind my business and walk
01:06:46.140
my ass back down to the other side of the stage because I want to keep my fat neck.
01:06:53.600
I bought him a drink too because I didn't want him to go no fur.
01:07:06.100
I thought you meant he just had like a black holes there with no eyes.
01:07:15.020
Like it wasn't, it was like, it was as if take my eyeball, just make my eyeball all black.
01:07:33.100
I just got a feeling of, you really don't want to fuck with us.
01:07:51.080
I'm trying to think of something I've seen from an audience that's terrifying.
01:07:57.360
Have you had people go crazy at your shows, stand up and start screaming at you and shit?
01:08:02.060
I had this one in Vegas when I was doing the residency over in Vegas and he's sitting in the back and I'm on stage and he was like, fuck you, Monique.
01:08:35.960
And for you to yell that out and you with your woman, you know you're not getting nothing tonight because she's embarrassed.
01:09:18.440
Well, I mean, you know, everybody loves you so much that you could say anything is basically what I mean.
01:09:24.480
So when you tell somebody, you know, but you don't do that a lot where you don't go, well, why don't you go F yourself?
01:09:30.940
Well, but on the off chance when you stand up and say this ain't, people can, like your husband, people can hear Monique tell them things that they can't hear.
01:09:43.920
Real people know it's coming from a real place.
01:09:48.540
Like when I did the reels and we were talking about you, I said, guys, listen.
01:09:54.580
If you listen to this woman, she ain't coming from nowhere but love.
01:09:59.680
The way we deliver it might set you back and be like, oh, shit, but she's not coming from nowhere but a pure place.
01:10:06.860
There's never where she's coming to be offensive.
01:10:09.360
We, as a gifted comedian, we say shit for how we see it.
01:10:17.820
But then you have to say to yourself, tell me where the lie is.
01:10:34.400
It may have been, some people say offensive, but is it a lie?
01:10:47.800
Do you think, I'm trying to fix my, oh, well, I'm just giving up on my hair.
01:10:54.200
Do you think people are really terrified to hear the truth?
01:11:07.540
I used to be, yeah, because my ego was what it was.
01:11:16.800
I, my job is to pay attention to everybody else.
01:11:26.040
I speak to it, but I understand it because I can remember Roseanne when I was over 300 pounds.
01:11:37.000
I would not get on a scale at the doctor's office.
01:11:40.200
And she said, Monique, I don't care if you don't get on it.
01:11:44.440
You can keep hiding from it, but this is what it is.
01:11:47.980
I didn't want anybody to say anything to me about it because in my mind, this is how I make my money.
01:11:53.700
In my mind, I'm a big woman until my husband said to me, if you keep going like you're going, me and the boys will be burying you.
01:12:06.920
So I understand what it is to want to be in fantasy.
01:12:19.220
Well, how scary is that when you're finally getting your shit together on your body?
01:12:23.220
Because after you've had an abusive childhood, don't you think that losing, it's not control, but it's like losing touch with your physical body as part of the symptom of having to grow up with that in your head.
01:12:42.680
And it's just like so that you just put on these layers and layers of protection.
01:12:49.320
I remember when I was a little girl, I was really fat.
01:12:52.100
And I remember having this real clear thought about nobody's going to be able to pick me up and carry me anywhere.
01:13:00.560
And, you know, I carried it into my entire life.
01:13:14.060
It's scary because you get so comfortable in it.
01:13:24.340
Something had to be, you know, Sidney said to me, he would say to me, nine great things can happen for you.
01:13:30.580
And that one thing that don't go your way, you knock out all the nine great things.
01:13:40.580
Because then that's part of trauma in your childhood because then you're like, you're used to it.
01:13:47.660
And then you feel like you're going to get in there and set it straight and fix it.
01:13:51.420
But I would ignore, I would ignore 3,000 people clapping a stand on their feet for me for the one heckler that told me to go F myself or something.
01:14:05.520
I never let that, I never let light or love or self-acceptance.
01:14:14.460
I couldn't, I thought I wouldn't be funny if I, you know.
01:14:18.440
And I think too, that we just got used to trauma and we felt better with trauma.
01:14:36.540
But I feel better if I walk off the stage and I get on the phone and there's something wrong.
01:14:43.440
So, and I think that once we got to a place where we decided to save our lives, people around us took up, because once you decide to save your life, you got to drop something off.
01:15:00.880
When you decide to save your life, it pisses the people around you off.
01:15:08.000
My family, my family, it was like, what are you doing?
01:15:23.080
It's like, listen, don't you know we like confusion?
01:15:25.900
So, when you are starting to heal, the way that we had to heal, it's like a junkie.
01:15:40.400
That's why I'm like, listen, I've got to walk away, period.
01:15:46.460
Because if not, I'll take that poison into my family that I prayed for.
01:15:52.680
You know, we'll take it right into what we prayed for.
01:15:56.660
So, I am at this place where it's like I am comfortable.
01:16:12.640
Because it's no fair that 2,999 people had fun and you didn't, go on and get your money back.
01:16:25.140
I never would have come to feeling that love for myself, for myself, for my desire to touch people
01:16:40.800
and entertain them and to feel that they felt something for me besides just laughing at my jokes.
01:17:02.500
And all the time I thought my whole life, well, hell, if you ain't suffering or effed up or having some problem, you're not going to be funny.
01:17:11.840
And now, I'll prove to myself all that is wrong.
01:17:19.220
I'm performing happier and existing in a healthier way.
01:17:28.740
So, yeah, we both learned a lot about how you can heal from trauma in childhood and having abusive shit happen to you.
01:17:41.280
That you've got to come to the thing where it's like, okay, I'm not going to continue it.
01:17:49.420
But I damn sure I'm not going to put myself in the position to have it happen to me over and over because I realized I put myself in those positions.
01:18:07.040
Once we became adults, everything that happened, we allowed.
01:18:13.280
And I can remember Sidney saying to me, because even when I went to therapy, and I went to therapy for years, right, and my therapist, who was absolutely incredible, awesome.
01:18:25.720
And she would always understand and talk me through the behavior because of the molestation, right?
01:18:33.260
And one day, Sidney said to me, listen, stop using that molestation as a crutch.
01:18:40.200
That's something that happened to you when you had no control.
01:18:44.000
He said, now, as an adult person, you have control over your emotions, your actions, your choices, your decisions.
01:18:52.500
So anything that you do, you are totally responsible for.
01:18:58.100
Well, that gave me a whole different perspective.
01:18:59.880
Because I thought I had to blame my behavior on.
01:19:05.140
It was easy for me to say, well, I'm only doing it because of what happened.
01:19:10.760
And then you walked across the line into victor mentality, right?
01:19:19.660
That you did, that you did at a later time, you know, you confronted and your brother and, you know, that's as brave as it gets.
01:19:48.500
Because it is truly a sickness to intentionally want to hurt someone that's defenseless.
01:20:07.060
However, I can move forward without that resentment that was in here.
01:20:12.120
I can move forward because now I understand it.
01:20:41.620
I probably, I probably wore your ass out with all this here, but.
01:20:49.100
So all y'all listening, I just got to let y'all know this.
01:20:54.280
Just so y'all know, it's three o'clock in the morning.
01:21:05.440
She'd be like, okay, but I got more shit to say.
01:21:17.640
And when the phone be going ding, ding, I'd be like, daddy, that's Roseanne.
01:21:25.260
Well, I am just, I just feel so lucky to be alive and sharing this earth with you, girl.
01:21:41.500
And maybe, you know, I just feel something good.
01:21:47.920
Something good is going to happen for both of us.
01:21:57.140
I want to see people grab it and share it and spread it, you know?
01:22:11.140
So when you used to wear accolades, and Jake had to say, no, mama's accolades.
01:22:16.960
I looked at my baby girl like, it's the same thing.
01:22:31.520
God bless you, your family, and everything you do.
01:22:58.340
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