The Roseanne Barr Podcast - March 27, 2026


Single, Sassy & Ready to Mingle | The Roseanne Barr Podcast #130


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 28 minutes

Words per minute

163.12645

Word count

14,361

Sentence count

496

Harmful content

Misogyny

93

sentences flagged

Toxicity

188

sentences flagged

Hate speech

91

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this week's episode of RHONJ, the Roseanne Bar Podcast, we have a special guest on the show, Shannon, who happens to be one of the co-hosts on the hit Bravo show, The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We talk about Shannon's relationship with her sister-in-law, how she's ready to date again, and why she thinks her mom is ready to start dating again.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Beat, beat, beatboxing actually has hidden health benefits.
00:00:04.340 It can help strengthen and protect your voice from injury.
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00:00:14.040 Yeah.
00:00:14.760 You gotta try breakfast at A-W.
00:00:21.440 You gotta try breakfast at A-W.
00:00:25.520 Enjoy A&W's bacon and egg and coffee for just $1.99
00:00:33.100 It's for a limited time
00:00:36.300 You gotta try breakfast at A&W
00:00:40.280 At participating A&W vocations in Ontario
00:00:43.420 Greetings Earthlings!
00:00:48.360 And humans!
00:00:50.100 And all other life forms and disembodied spirits
00:00:54.080 uh i guess you would call them the collective of human shadows because you know humans are one way
00:01:05.780 in public and another way in private often so uh those alter egos or alter selves of those people
00:01:18.820 i know they're all tuning in here because they don't think they're supposed to and i love that
00:01:25.140 intrigue um as well as animals who just love me because they know when they hear me talk they went
00:01:33.120 they go the tones the dulcet tones coming from that throat prove that some sort of intelligence
00:01:45.300 has pierced this damned sphere welcome to the roseanne bar podcast 0.91
00:01:53.220 well here we are um i'll have to admit i've been imbibing in alcohol more than usual 0.97
00:02:08.140 because my best friend is here.
00:02:13.080 And this is her fourth time on the show, right, Jake?
00:02:16.360 I thought it was your third, but Shannon said it was your fourth.
00:02:18.780 No, it's number four.
00:02:19.600 Get a little closer to that, Mike, please.
00:02:21.060 And Jake said you are the most, what did you say, Jake?
00:02:25.100 Most prolific, least requested.
00:02:28.760 But I'm kidding, and people love you.
00:02:31.000 No, they love us together.
00:02:32.620 They do.
00:02:33.320 They love girlfriends.
00:02:34.140 I love you together, and I'm one of the producers of this show.
00:02:36.780 Yeah, they do like girlfriends who've been girlfriends for a long time.
00:02:40.320 Like Delma and Louise.
00:02:40.900 Like Oprah and Gail.
00:02:43.120 Yeah, but girlfriends. 0.99
00:02:44.320 Except for we don't have sex.
00:02:46.220 Like Barry and, no.
00:02:49.400 No, this is so funny.
00:02:51.320 When we went out for brunch on Sunday,
00:02:54.540 we were in a throuple with my husband, the three of us.
00:02:59.080 Yeah.
00:02:59.620 And the lady goes, 0.88
00:03:01.780 can I get a picture with your wife to John?
00:03:04.520 He goes, which one?
00:03:06.780 He said, I have two.
00:03:09.060 Well, John is my...
00:03:14.260 Hubster.
00:03:16.020 What is he, honey?
00:03:17.440 He's your husband, but because he's so kind to me, I say, well, he's...
00:03:24.180 The best husband.
00:03:24.980 He's the best husband I never had.
00:03:27.720 So can I have him as my husband too?
00:03:29.940 But only, you know...
00:03:32.940 Non-sexual.
00:03:34.700 Yeah, nothing physical.
00:03:36.160 But he, like, takes care of her.
00:03:38.380 But he is so kind to me.
00:03:41.020 Huh?
00:03:41.260 Shannon takes care of that part.
00:03:42.620 That's why you have a nice husband. 1.00
00:03:44.000 If you had a third woman sexually taking care of your husband, 1.00
00:03:47.460 they might have all been nice for you. 0.93
00:03:47.900 She calls me her sister wife.
00:03:49.940 Yeah.
00:03:50.240 Yeah.
00:03:50.640 That's what I say.
00:03:51.800 It is like that.
00:03:52.680 Because I knew so many polygamists when I grew up in Utah.
00:03:57.300 I bet.
00:03:57.740 And on the sister wives, I saw what that was all about.
00:04:01.000 That was about the publicists in Hollywood. 0.91
00:04:04.680 The lesbian. 0.67
00:04:05.680 I just want to let it be known
00:04:07.920 I'm letting it be known
00:04:11.200 out there
00:04:12.000 in the world
00:04:13.700 she's ready to date
00:04:15.840 why would you say that?
00:04:18.520 I want you to
00:04:19.500 meet somebody
00:04:20.880 maybe that's a podcast
00:04:22.660 maybe we'll do date my mom
00:04:25.480 she is looking very cute
00:04:27.560 she's feeling somewhat frisky
00:04:30.200 yeah she's getting her mojo back 0.87
00:04:31.800 where are they getting these ideas?
00:04:34.080 She's got a whole new zhoosh going on after our show. 1.00
00:04:38.680 Yeah.
00:04:39.340 She got a whole new zhoosh. 1.00
00:04:42.780 She doesn't seem to agree with this, Shannon.
00:04:44.800 She's like speechless.
00:04:46.820 I think you're ready to date.
00:04:47.860 I mean, you always take it back.
00:04:49.160 Y'all all take it back to mom needs to get some D. 1.00
00:04:53.760 No.
00:04:54.160 I don't think that.
00:04:55.040 You told me I feel ready to start going out again.
00:05:00.720 I think you'd like to hang out with a gentleman.
00:05:02.420 You told me that several times.
00:05:03.540 I said I wouldn't be adverse
00:05:08.800 to some guy
00:05:10.420 who was interesting
00:05:12.960 had some money
00:05:15.940 and that's a huge
00:05:17.020 that's a huge one
00:05:19.740 huge ask
00:05:20.980 huge ask
00:05:22.420 and found me
00:05:26.060 interesting
00:05:28.400 and so charming
00:05:32.000 and bewitching
00:05:33.320 and intelligent and he would uh you know not grovel 0.99
00:05:42.760 but adore you adore yeah and pay for your bill for my shit yeah yeah because i always paid for 0.99
00:05:54.220 guy shit so celebrity that's not the right way to go ladies that is not that is pimps up hose down 1.00
00:06:01.580 celebrity crush 1.00
00:06:03.480 James Brolin
00:06:06.060 what
00:06:07.900 celebrity crush
00:06:09.820 you know on Matchmaker
00:06:12.000 Millionaire Matchmaker
00:06:13.440 what's your celebrity crush
00:06:15.940 and then she tries to find someone
00:06:17.920 like that person
00:06:19.060 James Brolin is married to the
00:06:21.440 I know
00:06:21.940 the queen of the Jews
00:06:25.560 what about
00:06:27.860 Randy Quaid as a type
00:06:30.040 Randy Quaid is happily married
00:06:33.260 to his type
00:06:35.500 yeah but he
00:06:36.580 if he were single he'd be perfect 0.99
00:06:38.480 well he had money until his crazy wife 1.00
00:06:41.160 stole it all 0.96
00:06:41.660 Jake do you want to get sued
00:06:44.180 you better cut that out 0.99
00:06:46.280 Evie knows she's crazy
00:06:48.740 love you Evie
00:06:51.280 you know she's an artiste 0.51
00:06:53.180 and she goes over the edge
00:06:54.960 I have some great text messages
00:06:56.340 what
00:06:58.400 What?
00:06:58.880 I can read my text messages from her on the air.
00:07:01.120 No, don't.
00:07:03.000 She's just very, she's unique.
00:07:06.740 She has lived the life and see what can happen.
00:07:10.920 And so you get a little more aware.
00:07:13.260 That's all.
00:07:13.680 We saw her.
00:07:14.660 Did I show you those pictures of her?
00:07:16.760 Naked, yeah.
00:07:17.300 I mean, her dad was in the KGB, for Christ's sake.
00:07:21.820 Well, anyway, I'm just saying he's tall.
00:07:23.920 He's good looking.
00:07:24.900 He would have money.
00:07:26.320 And they had that.
00:07:27.780 But they're married.
00:07:28.400 They had chemistry, though.
00:07:31.260 Well, that's kind of why I wanted him to be my love interest in the show
00:07:35.660 because, you know, Randy Quaid playing a sheriff
00:07:41.700 who's actually also a deputy and a Texas Ranger
00:07:47.360 and a Green Beret and in Mossad.
00:07:52.280 You don't give it away.
00:07:53.480 Huh?
00:07:54.060 You're giving too much away.
00:07:55.480 Well, I don't know if he's in Mossad.
00:07:57.440 mi6 or octagon he's in some clandestine service and you like those six foot five type guys 0.98
00:08:05.480 you're five three no i'm five one and a half she shrunk i shrunk can you fucking believe that 0.99
00:08:13.220 she really did we were always they said it no i'm shorter now because they said that stomach 0.94
00:08:18.440 operation i had to lose five pounds her bone density is shrinking but she's shrinking i don't 1.00
00:08:25.320 have any bone density what the hell yeah she doesn't get any vitamins can't we get her some 1.00
00:08:30.680 stem cell bone density shit we're working on it we have a good doctor but it turns out um getting 0.98
00:08:36.060 your stomach stapled and just drinking wine for 30 years is not smoking and smoking not good for 0.97
00:08:41.840 your body and no exercise who knew and laying in bed looking at like this this is my laptop like
00:08:48.440 this no she's on the side 14 hours here's the thing is i told her i go can you when
00:08:55.280 you go to bed can you not listen to all that stuff it's so disturbing to your sleep try it
00:09:01.320 i just read a whole thing about binaural beats john thought i meant b-e-e-t-s he goes i'm done
00:09:09.380 with beats i go no it's b-e-a-t-s binaural beats and they're like these sounds that are tranquil
00:09:18.080 and relax you to sleep.
00:09:20.740 Is it something you like down on a computer?
00:09:22.720 It's on YouTube.
00:09:23.740 You can plug in binaural.
00:09:25.780 I want to hear a binaural.
00:09:26.260 B-I-N-A-U-R-A-L, binaural beats. 0.99
00:09:31.300 And it's like frequencies and it's soothing
00:09:35.380 and it stops your mind from stressing.
00:09:39.100 I don't think mom could sleep to that.
00:09:41.460 Is there binaural beats that have like doom scrolling?
00:09:45.120 No, it's just like.
00:09:46.160 485, or I'm wrong because I can't remember.
00:09:50.280 I'm going to listen to one real quick.
00:09:52.120 But that is the frequency of God that they're trying to keep from us.
00:09:57.780 This is binaural beats.
00:09:59.940 I won't play the whole thing just for a second.
00:10:02.200 But see, bells, they arrange your energy and your cells.
00:10:09.700 That's right.
00:10:11.060 Bells equals cells.
00:10:13.080 That's right.
00:10:13.920 There you go.
00:10:14.420 There's a binaural beat.
00:10:14.780 Frequency.
00:10:15.780 Thanks for doing that, J.B.
00:10:17.060 Of course, I like to give the audience an idea.
00:10:19.480 It does sound like you're in a spa.
00:10:21.920 I feel really relaxed. 1.00
00:10:23.020 Yeah, I hate when they play that shit in the spas. 1.00
00:10:25.100 Oh, come on. 1.00
00:10:26.060 What do you want to hear, Metallica?
00:10:27.620 Yeah.
00:10:28.560 She wants to hear, is Israel going to be exploded tomorrow?
00:10:31.880 I never think Israel's going to be exploded.
00:10:34.240 Are you kidding?
00:10:35.320 That's not what the book says.
00:10:38.920 Can I talk about your hair?
00:10:40.960 Well, let's finish that.
00:10:42.420 What, J.?
00:10:43.600 Well, I liked what you were saying about it.
00:10:44.720 She needs to go to sleep without the laptop on because her doctor told her the same thing.
00:10:48.500 My doctor said the same thing.
00:10:50.400 We should have him on.
00:10:52.140 Yes.
00:10:52.460 I hate my doctor. 0.99
00:10:54.260 I hate slash love. 0.99
00:10:56.660 Yeah.
00:10:57.140 No, he's great though.
00:10:58.740 And he, you know, your blood pressure is like through the roof and then it's low and then
00:11:03.500 it's high.
00:11:04.260 Yeah.
00:11:04.460 He's figuring it.
00:11:05.180 He's not a, he's so annoying, but he's a good doctor.
00:11:08.640 He's a, he's from South Korea.
00:11:11.700 Yeah.
00:11:12.540 And guess where he grew up?
00:11:14.720 north in in in salt lake city as a mormon knowing provo as a mormon that was a convert from um
00:11:23.740 was it buddhism or whatever they got yeah yeah that was right you're right
00:11:29.580 yeah and then when he was in utah found out did a dna test found out he's got a lot of jewish dna
00:11:38.840 i go see i know everyone you could have asked me you could have asked me i could have told you
00:11:45.840 you're a doctor obsessed you're a doctor you're obsessed with clinical details that you keep
00:11:53.240 in files and you're always talking about how you have no dating life you're a jew
00:12:02.400 i remember we were in to get your blood drawn and we're like in the lobby because he had to do it
00:12:11.880 all under the radar and he like she goes and my veins are they're not good and he's like i'll get
00:12:18.980 it and he put it in and blood squirted everywhere all over him it splattered across my face like in
00:12:25.700 the show no way i never heard this yeah and i was like and i was like see i don't
00:12:32.900 i went to a racist place right in my mind about the south koreans
00:12:39.540 what's the racist thing about south koreans well i couldn't remember if they were the sneaky ones 1.00
00:12:46.180 that got us at pearl harbor but then i realized that was japan that was japan which we're friends
00:12:53.260 with now it would have been hilarious if you made a japanese joke it is south korean because you
00:12:57.160 couldn't even tell veracity pronounced ba ras a t all right can we talk about glp ones for a second
00:13:05.240 because suddenly everyone i know is on them my group chat tiktok podcast probably my mailman too
00:13:12.140 and listen i was this close to trying them until i remembered two things i don't love needles and
00:13:18.320 I'm always going to try the natural option first if I can. Also, I've tried enough weird weight
00:13:24.420 loss trends in my life. Detox teas, miracle gummies, diets where you eat like three almonds
00:13:30.660 and pretend you're full, and I'm over it. I just want something that actually works without making
00:13:35.440 me feel like I'm doing a science experiment on my body. That's why I'm excited about today's
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00:14:18.580 of nine pounds in 90 days. That's good. I started using Metabolism Ignite a couple of weeks ago
00:14:25.200 and it's just two capsules with breakfast and I've already noticed I'm way less snacky craving
00:14:30.560 during the day and I've got more energy too. It's made with ingredients like lemon verbena,
00:14:36.120 hibiscus extract, green coffee bean extract, and magnesium, which is the greatest. And because
00:14:42.760 it's 100% natural and caffeine-free, clinical trials showed no negative side effects. Honestly,
00:14:49.260 what I love about Baraceti is that it gives women a natural option, and it's nice to see something
00:14:54.620 that's actually science-backed and doesn't come out with a terrifying list of warnings.
00:15:00.260 It also couldn't be easier, just two capsules every morning. So make the switch to GLP-1s,
00:15:06.120 the natural way head to veracityhelp.co and use the code roseanne for up to 60 off your order
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00:15:20.460 so they know i sent you apart that's doubly racist no i can't tell them apart for real
00:15:28.280 um i know a lot of asian people and after you know a lot of them you can start to see the diff 1.00
00:15:34.440 first year like when you're like think everybody's homogenous especially when you're from utah
00:15:39.560 where everybody is homogenous looking because they're all cousins and uh of course so was my
00:15:47.540 family jews all cousins cousins married with incest is best i mean it's just how it is i think 1.00
00:15:54.740 that's why people are screwed up because too much cousins marrying cousins for centuries
00:16:00.740 especially amongst the serfs.
00:16:04.000 No, it's true.
00:16:05.400 As soon as one of the serfs gets 10 extra dollars,
00:16:10.420 he's off looking for strange DNA.
00:16:14.380 Yeah, I guess it might even get away from the family reunion.
00:16:16.620 He's like, I need to prop up this gene pool for humanity's sake. 0.52
00:16:23.260 No, I remember the porn chicks were like, 0.92
00:16:26.780 yeah every guy needs some strange they can't you know f the same person all the time they all need 0.97
00:16:34.880 strange yeah and and i saw a study of cows and the cow that was f and the other cow then they
00:16:44.860 got sick of the same smell and the same look so they had to go to another cow
00:16:49.420 yeah is that a female a bull a cow's a female and a bull yeah the bull but we knew what you 1.00
00:16:57.860 were saying i wasn't gonna correct you yeah yeah well the male animal is designed to scatter his 0.99
00:17:05.080 seeds with about 150 wives right that he owns yeah that's how it was that's why everyone's
00:17:12.040 you know in kansas city every beautiful girl i meet she's in her 40s my husband's cheating
00:17:19.140 on me you know i have three kids every time they're all all these got she find she found um
00:17:27.900 on the tinder no oh that's no she saw on the credit card he was calling all these when he 0.94
00:17:35.720 was traveling what an amateur and he was like calling all these you know hookers you know on 1.00
00:17:43.140 a phone that he knew his wife could see the i guess i don't know that guy's a real genius i
00:17:48.580 I mean, you've got to give him credit for being a real genius.
00:17:52.280 He must watch the forensic files more than me.
00:17:55.640 Sounds like he wanted to get caught, is what it sounds like.
00:17:57.680 It is.
00:17:58.300 Everybody wants to get caught.
00:18:00.320 They want God to catch him, spank him, fix him, and let him back at it.
00:18:06.760 I think you're right.
00:18:07.700 Back at it.
00:18:08.440 Yeah, to do it right.
00:18:09.660 I just had an idea, and I'm not trying to be funny.
00:18:12.040 What?
00:18:12.700 For dating, since you're getting there, warming up to it.
00:18:16.400 Who, me?
00:18:17.320 Yeah.
00:18:17.560 I'd like a conversation with someone my age
00:18:21.000 who's accomplished and has something to talk about
00:18:23.700 I got an idea
00:18:24.400 why don't you write letters in prison to serial killers
00:18:28.060 why would I do that
00:18:29.620 because it's your two favorite things
00:18:31.020 and you don't have to worry about it
00:18:32.680 they're in prison for life
00:18:33.820 you can try and get in their head
00:18:35.260 like the Menendez brothers
00:18:36.720 your three favorite things
00:18:37.580 profiling, pen palling, and it's a man
00:18:41.000 and women write to serial killers all the time 1.00
00:18:43.020 I wouldn't want any of his
00:18:45.540 uh mastercations or whatever you'd call it i thought you'd enjoy this idea no his manipulative 0.99
00:18:52.360 shit i mean i do it as a case study that's what i'm saying you would try and out manipulate him 0.98
00:18:56.420 no i try to catch him because i know how to catch there you go there's a fun hobby right there no i 0.99
00:19:01.920 don't want any of that no she i don't want their serial killer on a nice yeah not a serial killer 1.00
00:19:07.980 all right well okay not like you think the only guys that like me could the only guys that could
00:19:13.140 like me are serial killers.
00:19:14.580 I think I know you better than you know yourself.
00:19:17.100 And I know an hour after we record this,
00:19:18.960 you're going to go, that's not a bad idea.
00:19:20.400 And you're going to start writing the serial killers.
00:19:21.600 No, I'm not.
00:19:22.440 We'll see.
00:19:23.620 I'm writing it down.
00:19:24.300 I'm not that self-destructive.
00:19:26.640 What are they going to do?
00:19:27.380 It's a, you're writing a letter.
00:19:28.560 You're not going to marry them.
00:19:29.600 Okay.
00:19:30.240 I wanted to talk about her hair.
00:19:32.100 But if I fell in love with them and under the devil's sway,
00:19:35.500 which he controls all serial killers.
00:19:38.240 I mean, I wouldn't go up there to the pit where the devil is
00:19:41.820 and taunt him.
00:19:42.840 unlike these pro-Palestinians.
00:19:45.520 All right, then forget it.
00:19:46.400 We'll just pen pal someone.
00:19:47.720 Why don't you pen pal like a world leader
00:19:50.400 or someone you like?
00:19:51.040 Maybe you'll get through it.
00:19:51.680 You're famous.
00:19:52.740 Why don't you do a pen pal thing is what I'm saying.
00:19:54.480 Netanyahu.
00:19:55.080 Yeah.
00:19:56.080 Email.
00:19:56.500 Is he married?
00:19:57.620 Oh, yeah.
00:19:58.300 His wife would tear my eyes out 1.00
00:20:00.120 if I got 20 feet within him.
00:20:01.460 Is she pretty? 1.00
00:20:02.960 I've never seen her.
00:20:03.940 Yeah, let me look her up. 1.00
00:20:04.240 She is.
00:20:04.760 She's an attractive woman, Sarah. 0.70
00:20:07.180 Sarah Netanyahu.
00:20:08.160 I'm going to look her up right now.
00:20:08.960 And she's an attractive Jewish woman 0.97
00:20:10.580 with a very strong spirit that sounds like you oh my god she's hideous don't say that no i mean 1.00
00:20:19.180 you've got a real shot here ma that's his wife oh boy i would never interfere in a marriage 0.98
00:20:27.360 i think he'd want you to she's disgusting oh i would never interfere and i don't want to be 0.89
00:20:32.940 married to bb because i find bb to be um he is um angry wishy-washy oh he really is
00:20:44.300 well you would know and i think i should replace bb as prime minister of israel
00:20:52.300 and president of these united states remember in 2012 i ran for president it was a twofer
00:20:59.200 president of these united states of america and prime minister of israel a twofer i think you'd
00:21:06.220 be a great prime minister of israel for you're damn right i would because i know the history
00:21:11.900 of jerusalem the levant mecca and medina and all of it all the way to abraham come at me 0.98
00:21:25.660 bees bees i didn't want to swear can i want to yeah let's get our hair now oh yeah talk about
00:21:35.140 my okay okay so i told you shannon i can't stand my hair it's all extensions and they're all shown
00:21:44.020 and they're all haywire and uh they're tearing my they're just driving me crazy and i'm sick 0.96
00:21:51.200 of being blonde when i saw myself in this show i'm like bitch you are over being blonde look at 1.00
00:22:00.240 you what did you call it patriot or no what uh what did you call being blonde uh like the queen 0.99
00:22:08.560 and king uh the word you use not patriarchal
00:22:13.700 oh well anyway you said i don't want it anymore so she pulled all her hair extensions out yeah
00:22:22.940 and cut her own hair oh you got an ant like a flint did that i saw ash okay anyway and so then
00:22:31.480 the next so she had long blonde hair to her shoulders and then the next time i saw her 1.00
00:22:36.120 she looked like this she cut her own hair and it's cute and i'm loving it i'm loving it everyone
00:22:44.020 was so concerned in the family that i told them i cut off everything blonde because i was like 0.99
00:22:50.620 i am no longer blonde i am gray as a friggin toadstool well i'm gonna reclaim my right 0.92
00:23:00.620 as a woman of gray hood the white is cute around the front 1.00
00:23:06.280 and that's i think i look francaise yeah you do very francaise very trey chic well didn't we have
00:23:18.420 a ball doing this show honey oh god um we had to get up every morning like at 5 a.m well let's
00:23:26.520 catch people up you came out we did we did our show December you came out where mom's I said
00:23:32.520 Shannon I can't do this show without you and I just got the money so you have to do it you have
00:23:40.620 to do it and mind you I came out of retirement because I only worked like one or two days a week
00:23:45.980 this was 60 hours a week that I hadn't worked in years like that and you haven't either we didn't
00:23:54.080 worked that hard on the roseanne reboot i know no these were long days these were long days
00:24:00.040 every weekend we're in a new airbnb packing our shit up packing the food up going somewhere else
00:24:09.400 everyone else had the weekend off saturday we were packing and moving yeah unpacking sunday
00:24:17.860 head off monday 5 a.m i'd wake her up honey honey wake up and she'd go 1.00
00:24:25.260 every morning it would be something different she'd go a monster like she would just do 0.99
00:24:34.540 something wacky every single morning or you know or not like she'd just be jostled and scared
00:24:43.940 yeah well she wasn't i mean she was going to bed late and then i never got any rest that's why
00:24:49.180 these dark patches under my eyes they have grown deep and wide i never got any sleep
00:24:56.640 no they are i saw myself and i got these dark like old lady not that some concealer can't cover
00:25:05.660 really it cosmetic concealer with serum i want to get that chris uh fairchild what's their name
00:25:13.640 the Kauffmans
00:25:16.160 Kardashian?
00:25:17.800 Yeah.
00:25:19.040 Kauffman?
00:25:20.780 Not one letter of it is good.
00:25:22.940 Kris Kardashian.
00:25:24.260 No, is that her name?
00:25:25.140 Kris Jenner.
00:25:25.780 Kris Jenner Kardashian.
00:25:27.200 She's still, she's not a Jenner anymore, is she?
00:25:28.960 No, the Kardashian family.
00:25:32.280 You know,
00:25:33.620 I want to get the facelift that
00:25:35.720 she got.
00:25:37.700 She looks like one of her kids now.
00:25:40.800 Doesn't she?
00:25:41.580 Yeah.
00:25:41.800 she's adorable with that face yeah she just and her haircut is she can have the french 1.00
00:25:47.860 let me look short french cut because women always say women they get work look good and they never 1.00
00:25:52.880 do no she looks good honey i heard she went to south korea because that's where you've got to 0.83
00:26:01.960 go to get the ponytail facelift right and it was 150k that's not bad um i mean she doesn't look
00:26:12.340 like a cat lady but it's definitely i think she looks good terrifying i want one of those pink 1.00
00:26:19.520 ponytail facelifts i want you to do it but this doctor says i have to go get my heart checked out
00:26:26.540 because it's damaged so now i'm so pissed because i'm like i need a new doctor no he's always
00:26:33.700 sending me to other doctors to check me out and i'm like why do i have to go find something wrong
00:26:39.400 when nothing's wrong and then get in shape just so i can have surgery and die on the surgery table
00:26:45.460 well i mean it doesn't make any sense i would rather not get ready for any sort of surgery
00:26:52.580 ever again in my life and just you know get a heart attack or a stroke and then just be
00:26:59.780 put into the uh home what do they call that place hospice yeah that is the life living in the
00:27:09.280 hospice no that's where your god that is where life is worth living i've seen it my sister and
00:27:17.060 brother i'm my mom gay were uh hospice care workers for the gay community and uh you know
00:27:25.860 what those hospitals great is it is hospice great i've never heard this before
00:27:32.820 it was the greatest thing ever and that's where i want to go don't be so to hospice
00:27:38.800 no you don't oh it does sound pretty awesome i'm not gonna know i mean you are on a morphine
00:27:44.600 that's what she's talking about hello that's so you that's all i want and they just make you 1.00
00:27:50.500 comfortable they change your diaper they know you're dying and they give you morphine i remember
00:27:56.020 my grandfather screaming from pancreatic cancer i need a shot and them saying no you gotta wait
00:28:04.300 another hour and i would just cry and i would say when i'm a huge sitcom star
00:28:12.860 and have my own podcast
00:28:14.960 I'm going to tell the world
00:28:17.140 that when you're 0.99
00:28:18.900 friggin dying 0.93
00:28:20.000 pump up the
00:28:21.920 pump up the volume
00:28:24.180 why not
00:28:26.960 animals
00:28:28.120 no my mom was
00:28:30.960 people without empathy
00:28:32.860 saying you can't have another
00:28:35.040 morphine shot
00:28:36.160 you can't have another morphine shot
00:28:39.180 though you're dying in
00:28:40.960 agony because it goes against our scheduling insurance. I am so glad that Trump has
00:28:48.900 ruined the insurance companies and we can be free of insurance men. Oh my God, that's what it was
00:28:58.840 all about was insurance men and the insurance industrial complex where you say, I'm going to
00:29:06.580 put everything on the fact that i'm never gonna die how do we get on that from your hair i don't
00:29:15.240 know the roseanne bar podcast there's no okay so anyway my hair yeah oh no and so like that show
00:29:26.260 was really fun like when i when we were in it i was like oh my god when five i would have to get
00:29:32.480 up at four if you had to get up at five and i would just be like oh my god i can't even handle
00:29:39.240 this but then i look back on it and now i'm looking at the shows you're you know you're
00:29:45.860 showing me the clips and stuff and it's so great and it was so fun but like those hours and like
00:29:53.460 some days it was windy and and freezing freezing she'd be out there i got the cedar flu the texas 0.98
00:30:01.020 flu the allergies lost my voice lost her voice sick as a dog but still fucking hung in there 1.00
00:30:09.220 bitch yeah you were had to you were amazing and the show's i mean the show is hilarious 0.99
00:30:14.300 the acting dre de mateo randy quaid um um indy bug mario gooding and indy bug 0.96
00:30:24.980 what isn't his name mario omar omar i'm sorry i'm sorry omar gooding
00:30:33.720 just bleep that out omar gooding cuba gooding jr's brother that's so great
00:30:39.760 and indie great comic actor yeah facial expressions everything so funny um just a great
00:30:46.980 indie bug how great was doug jones doug jones oh my god crazy evie got us doug jones
00:30:54.780 Evie, Randy Quaid's wife, got... 1.00
00:30:57.900 Yeah, we have to give a shout out to Evie. 0.98
00:30:59.960 She bought us a lot of good stuff.
00:31:01.620 She, or Doug, was in Pan's Labyrinth.
00:31:06.440 He was like the thin man with the eyes and the hands.
00:31:10.040 And he was the fish in The Color of Water.
00:31:13.020 No, he's a famous character actor.
00:31:15.500 Not The Color of Water.
00:31:16.880 What is it called?
00:31:18.340 Shape of Water.
00:31:19.180 Shape of Water.
00:31:19.980 He was in Hellboy.
00:31:21.840 Hellboy, yeah.
00:31:22.680 He's kind of a great...
00:31:23.500 He's like 6'5", 110 pounds. 0.99
00:31:26.660 But he's on that fucking vampire show now that's so funny. 1.00
00:31:30.260 What we see in the dark. 1.00
00:31:30.940 He can play a great vampire.
00:31:32.480 He's brilliant.
00:31:33.440 I loved how he moved his head in that one scene.
00:31:35.780 Yeah. 0.98
00:31:38.120 He's so fucking good. 0.83
00:31:39.920 Everyone was great in this. 0.99
00:31:41.020 And you dropped all kinds of little Easter eggs for all your fans with the red shoes.
00:31:49.100 Yeah, there's some Q quotients in there.
00:31:51.780 Don't give any more of those away.
00:31:53.500 I won't.
00:31:54.580 I'm here to police the talk.
00:31:55.500 There's some jokes for the Q folks. 0.98
00:31:57.940 That rhymes.
00:31:58.820 Yeah.
00:31:58.980 And some jokes for a lot of jokes for the left.
00:32:07.540 You may have seen the conversations happening online lately.
00:32:10.740 Censorship is back and it's happening everywhere.
00:32:13.480 Platforms are controlling narratives and pushing the stuff they want us to see.
00:32:17.180 We need to fight back.
00:32:18.940 Rumble is the only company that has stood the test of time and deserves our support.
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00:32:34.600 Banks can cancel our accounts and freeze our cards.
00:32:37.840 So that's why they launched Rumble Wallet, a wallet that no one can cancel, a wallet that supporters can use to instantly tip creators like myself without any middlemen taking cuts.
00:32:51.080 And with Rumble Wallet, you control your money, not a bank, not a government, not a tech company, not even Rumble can touch it.
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00:33:59.320 today open an account and step away from the big banks for good wallet.rumble.com or search rumble
00:34:08.320 wallet in the app stores but of course they're the butt of them but i'm waiting to see if they
00:34:14.000 like that i think they eventually will like being the butt of the jokes well you also kind of make
00:34:20.460 yourself a butt of a joke a couple times it's self-effacing here and there with the conspiracy
00:34:24.280 because we're all the butt of this huge and i just want to give a shout out to the crew
00:34:29.000 yeah best crew can we say tony was in it mm-hmm tony hinchcliffe no oh we can't
00:34:36.840 he's we can't he's standing i mean it's just a small part he's not in it yeah episode yeah
00:34:43.480 um he's great um and the crew like covey our wardrobe guy and olivia and peter pk
00:34:53.880 yeah no what's his last name kowalski the people kowalski alan cober alan steven um
00:35:00.720 the show's so fucking good the crew was just like 0.58
00:35:05.060 matt matt our props guy he was great a lot of great yeah great stuff will rimmer the ad 0.91
00:35:15.060 i wonder if his baby's born yet i don't know i just feel bad because i called him
00:35:23.680 mike rimmer the last time we talked about him i felt so guilty no and that's okay does he know
00:35:29.880 we only hired him because his name was remember yeah i told him that in the job interview okay
00:35:33.720 good i interviewed him because we thought we'd get some good jokes off that little did we know
00:35:38.580 he was multi-talented sometimes you get lucky you hire how about when he went off on me for uh
00:35:44.120 he yelled at her big time a couple times yeah he was not playing he had to uh he yelled at
00:35:53.120 sondra too he wasn't his job is he's also he's safety well yeah and you mom got in a golf cart
00:35:59.700 and we had a stunt driver and like you're gonna drive four feet and she's like we took off like
00:36:03.780 well i wanted to show him i'm better than any he almost killed the crew they freaked out he
00:36:09.880 screamed at mom i've i've i said i didn't hit anyone you'll notice he said yeah because we
00:36:15.260 jumped out of the way that's what he said well i knew they would jump out of the way
00:36:19.660 I know, but they thought you were going to stop.
00:36:24.340 No, that's why they had the last minute.
00:36:27.200 That was the joke.
00:36:29.020 See, it's just like my dad.
00:36:30.680 It's going too far.
00:36:31.860 Liz, there was Kyle and Liz, our handlers,
00:36:37.180 and Liz was like, we kept thinking she was going to stop.
00:36:41.880 You know, that's what my Uncle Larry used to say.
00:36:44.960 You know what thought, Dad?
00:36:47.020 What?
00:36:47.920 He tells when we were kids. 0.78
00:36:49.660 uh one time i thought i only had to fart but i shit my pants wise words because that's what 0.64
00:36:59.040 thought gets you my favorite part of that go-kart experience was cover came up to me he's like you
00:37:03.300 gotta go tell your mom she can't do that she can't get on it and me and alan steven were there 0.98
00:37:07.340 and we're like okay yeah i'll go tell mom not to do something you fucking amateur like you don't 0.97
00:37:12.860 know what you're doing covert you're new here if i go tell her no she's gonna get right back on and 0.98
00:37:18.100 then she's gonna drive over people and he's like no she needs to understand there's insurance stuff
00:37:22.400 and me and alan just giggled we were shoulder to shoulder me and alan's dude laughed for like 15
00:37:27.260 minutes we're like go tell her covert go tell her not to do it i'm sure she'll listen i said the
00:37:32.640 best thing you can do is just joke yeah let her know she got a laugh and she'll calm down and it
00:37:37.200 worked she's like your daughter noemi yeah they have oppositional disorder if you say no she's 1.00
00:37:45.600 gonna do it i know but i should have some control over that be yourself impulse since i'm 73 you're
00:37:52.940 great i should be older than two i'm still stuck at two and i'm wearing diapers that proves it 0.96
00:38:00.200 full circle they need to stop being so fucking like uptight remember the can i talk about the 0.99
00:38:05.200 wedding this weekend i was just gonna say that psychic i didn't mom is such a nobody i know but 1.00
00:38:13.200 i slowed down to like four mph i agree i'm with you okay if you can't figure out somebody's still 1.00
00:38:20.960 coming at four mph and you got to jump out to complete the joke then you're a fucking 0.99
00:38:27.240 a retard and a narcissist self-obsessed with magical thinking this is why i love my mom so 1.00
00:38:35.160 we had a wedding this weekend and mom was nice enough to attend it was my sister-in-law's 0.84
00:38:39.820 it was a lovely it was a lovely so at the end of the night we're packing up and i told i thought
00:38:44.420 there'd be a fistfight or two but there was none i told the crew and they're packing up i was like
00:38:48.600 was it good and they're like yeah and i was like what do you mean they're like well i said were we
00:38:53.080 not good and she's like no you guys were pretty good pretty ready one person at your wedding got 0.99
00:38:57.200 physical and i was like who the fuck would do that she's like some old lady touched me in the 1.00
00:39:03.520 arm and she's like shut up gentile i'll do what i want i was like oh god i was there when that 0.99
00:39:09.600 happened she was in the next room i never touched her no she never touched her she said she grabbed
00:39:16.120 her on the upper arm no no no are you kidding i swear to god total lie and i waited till she left 1.00
00:39:22.520 the room but did you call her a gentile though because she she did say that you called her
00:39:26.340 which there's no way she called her what a gentile no gentile's gonna tell me what to do
00:39:31.100 yeah she told me ma'am you must remove yourself from the bridal chamber because the bride is 1.00
00:39:37.680 coming in here to get dressed and finally prepped and spackled and i said well i'm i happen to be in
00:39:46.040 the bride bride's family and i've been in here with her and was assured i could be in this
00:39:51.740 place because it's kind of a safe place
00:39:53.880 for me yeah that's true she had no idea
00:39:55.500 she didn't know you were a celebrity
00:39:57.180 well then she acted like 1.00
00:39:59.600 I did not say that
00:40:01.440 I go in other words 0.99
00:40:03.560 bitch I paid for this 1.00
00:40:05.680 whole soiree 1.00
00:40:07.120 and I'm not leaving the room
00:40:09.420 and I did not pay for it that was a dirty lie
00:40:11.820 and I ask God to forgive me
00:40:13.640 but I was taken by the passion of the moment
00:40:15.820 so anyway
00:40:16.720 she
00:40:18.440 she goes no 0.85
00:40:20.420 the bride i go no the bride loves me and she knows i have to have a dressing room
00:40:27.040 because as i when i phoned the bride the morning of her wedding
00:40:32.060 jake you were there i phoned the bride and i said congratulations on the happiest day of your life
00:40:39.800 that's beautiful and she said thank you and i said one problem
00:40:44.860 she goes what and i said it's never a kind thing when
00:40:56.900 a guest at the wedding overshadows the bride
00:41:03.700 but i'm afraid it's gonna i'm afraid it is going to happen
00:41:11.520 and she said oh granny you always you always outshine everybody so we're used to it and i 0.64
00:41:19.540 said well my question is do you need me to come down the aisle before you i never heard any of
00:41:28.500 i didn't know that or after are you making this up we just laughed annie's the best but uh so i
00:41:35.620 was in that mood you know where i act like the snooty lady from beverly hills that character
00:41:40.780 yeah i saw that and i do it for my fans and friends that are in the i go i've never why i've
00:41:49.280 never how dare you how dare you assume and uh oh and then we got so she was walking i said no i'm
00:41:58.260 going to stay here and i'm part of the bridal family and so you know be on with your way
00:42:07.460 and so she goes you're going to have to leave as she's walking out the door 0.55
00:42:13.580 you're going to have to leave ma'am and so i improperly she went after i said i but i thought 1.00
00:42:26.660 you know she'd only hear it outside the door and uh since it was a jewish wedding half half jewish
00:42:36.240 wedding i remarked i remarked i don't listen to gentiles this is why we've been kicked out 1.00
00:42:47.880 and i said she's jewish and then i found out she's jewish yeah she was very upset when she
00:42:54.680 talked to us well she was too jewish for me oh i'm too jewish for jewish america but that broad 0.99
00:43:01.000 was too jewish for me arrogant i mean are you serious you can't make an exception for someone
00:43:10.860 of my uh well she had no idea because even when she told me she said one of the guests
00:43:15.800 an older lady an old lady she said oh broad grabbed me and said i never grabbed her shannon 0.88
00:43:23.040 you were there i was there the entire time i was at the makeup table never touched that chick 1.00
00:43:28.580 and let me say we got caught smoking pot yeah i didn't even get that yet that's why she came 1.00
00:43:34.420 in oh yeah she tried to turn us into the police the police were there then i had to go smooth
00:43:40.320 things over and talk pot is illegal i was well we were outside watching no we were outside and
00:43:48.020 then the door blew open and it wafted in and then no the whole place smelled like weed i went in
00:43:53.220 there to check you guys and it's like it smells like weed in here and and josh's mom was like
00:43:56.660 that's what i'm saying so apparently there was a whole conference you two have no idea how bad
00:44:01.900 the smell is so then i go to airbnbs with you guys and it smells like smoke and i'm like it
00:44:05.940 smells like smoke in here and you're both like no it doesn't we did it for breeze i'm like it
00:44:09.720 smells like smoke i'm not lying it's i smell it and then you get a then you get a cleaning fee
00:44:13.720 from airbnb and you're both like they're crazy get any any recent ones well the weed at the
00:44:19.320 wedding on saturday everyone smelled it in the bridal shower not outside i know so i said to
00:44:24.540 you didn't smoke inside it i told her i go i'm sorry we were on the porch and the door blew
00:44:30.700 open and it wafted inside she goes it's okay that's nice and i i profusely apologize and
00:44:37.180 try you were great you've been mom's handler for a long time and you know i go up and clean her
00:44:42.080 her messes but i love that when she's like once like presented gracious you're off the mic
00:44:49.060 She does present a gracious image of me.
00:44:53.360 Yeah.
00:44:53.940 But I am pretty nice.
00:44:56.860 When you yelled at us.
00:44:57.720 Aren't I really nice?
00:44:58.700 Yes.
00:44:59.120 No, you were 98% a doll on that show.
00:45:04.880 And like I was kind of worried.
00:45:07.560 But the only one time that Sandra went in front of the bull 1.00
00:45:11.960 and they go, don't, you shouldn't go in front of the bull.
00:45:15.020 And then you go, Sandra, don't you know?
00:45:18.240 and you yelled at her and then she got all pissed off and but you were joking
00:45:23.700 yeah and see they don't know i said sandra have you no idea of your
00:45:28.140 surroundings yeah with a live bull right in front of your face and then that was
00:45:34.500 and then sandra was steaming then i told her sandra steaming then she went over
00:45:40.980 and said sandra i was just joking i'm sorry you're so much better you know
00:45:44.760 And when Sandra came to me, I was like, 0.97
00:45:46.700 she's like, your mom fucking yelled at me. 1.00
00:45:48.020 I was like, yeah. 0.99
00:45:50.400 And she's like, I don't need to be talked to like that.
00:45:51.940 I go, you must be new here.
00:45:54.020 That's what I said.
00:45:55.100 Like, you're not used to this?
00:45:56.580 This is like, this is how it is.
00:45:59.000 She's very nice.
00:45:59.740 She was joking.
00:46:00.960 And she's like, no, I know when someone's joking.
00:46:02.600 I go, obviously you don't.
00:46:03.700 Because she jokes with this, the whole crew like this all day long.
00:46:07.300 Look how she is with Covert.
00:46:08.620 And she freaked out.
00:46:09.380 And then two weeks later, when she finally saw it, I go, do you believe me now?
00:46:12.640 She goes, yeah, I get your mom now.
00:46:13.840 she'll react well i have to play the part of the diva or they won't respect me so i have to go
00:46:21.040 how dare you address me in such a way well they all laugh because you know they know
00:46:26.380 i'm making a joke of it but it's kind of true it is kind of true you don't come up here and 0.99
00:46:32.080 call me a fat bitch while i'm doing no you've earned it i'm with you did so great i just want 1.00
00:46:37.880 to say like we would be running lines she'd be learning her lines oh my god writing her lines 1.00
00:46:45.660 on her hand had a piece of paper she had to have like a sex scene kissing oh my god it was so 0.99
00:46:53.980 traumatic because i haven't uh done that type of company of a man i haven't been in male company 0.91
00:47:02.480 for a decade or more no i don't know how long she said male well johnny she said male
00:47:10.320 but i haven't um it's been about 10 years or more since i've had i mean you had to make out
00:47:23.100 with randy sexual contact well they were like kissing and grabbing i know but she rode on top 1.00
00:47:29.800 of him yeah yeah it was something else i had oh my god i cannot even believe that i did all that
00:47:37.600 she got that i was like well you know you gotta sell it yeah high and drunk thanks to shannon
00:47:45.860 tell about how many tell about my special water oh yeah i had the arrow
00:47:54.020 Can we not talk about this, Jake?
00:47:55.820 You can talk about this because we all knew.
00:47:58.200 The arrow had water bottle.
00:48:02.800 My favorite is when you guys would go,
00:48:04.740 we're going to have a water and you go in the room
00:48:07.100 and you come out and you both smell like vodka.
00:48:10.120 We all knew.
00:48:11.100 We had our smoky and our drinky.
00:48:15.180 She had to do what she had to do to cope.
00:48:17.940 I think it's weird that people get weird about it.
00:48:20.480 They have to, though.
00:48:21.300 they have to it's all about if insurance finds out that they're now culpable so well i'm so happy
00:48:27.960 that trump has eradicated the insurance i hope so bacterium the mind of lloyds of london and the whole
00:48:37.020 uh empire i mean trump is way too smart honey what's he doing i'm looking it up i don't know
00:48:47.100 what you're talking about well he's taking i'm remaking the world no i know the iran stuff but
00:48:53.320 what's the insurance thing yeah i don't know the lloyds of london said they were going to cut off
00:48:58.260 insurance of the straight of hormuz oh and not allow any uh maritime travel upon such because
00:49:06.960 of the bombing of iran because iran's in control of the straight of hormon and so brit britain
00:49:14.600 because iran is their money laundering system with the mullahs there um 0.74
00:49:21.840 they said we're on iran's side is pretty much what they said and so trump said we don't need
00:49:32.760 your insurance i'll insure it myself and i said yeah paint it gold with a big t on it yeah
00:49:40.580 I call it Trump's Hormuz
00:49:43.380 Straight
00:49:43.920 I love it
00:49:46.260 it's so genius
00:49:47.500 I mean it is baller to the max
00:49:50.720 it is baller
00:49:51.760 it's beyond gangsta
00:49:54.440 it's what everybody in the world
00:49:57.380 wishes they could do
00:49:59.380 it's crazy that a war
00:50:01.300 always comes down to ports and insurance 1.00
00:50:03.660 it's like always the wrong shit 0.99
00:50:05.400 everything comes down to 0.99
00:50:07.520 insurance
00:50:08.020 It is.
00:50:08.720 And Trump said that. 1.00
00:50:09.800 Look at Obamacare and all the other shit. 1.00
00:50:12.080 Oh, God. 1.00
00:50:12.940 Instead of giving us, like, you know,
00:50:15.720 some form of decent health care for the public taxes we pay,
00:50:20.500 taxes the public pays, the taxpayer, 0.93
00:50:24.100 they gave it to the frigging insurance company. 0.96
00:50:27.020 Like, you break your arm, first call is to the insurance company, 0.98
00:50:30.220 not the doctor, not the hospital. 0.97
00:50:32.680 I mean, they've inserted themselves like parasites in every aspect of our health care system. 0.84
00:50:40.840 And it's largely run by... 1.00
00:50:43.680 It's Jews? 1.00
00:50:44.540 No, it's not Jews. 0.81
00:50:46.180 All right.
00:50:46.880 It's not Jews. 1.00
00:50:48.520 It's largely Catholic charities, NGOs.
00:50:52.720 When we lived in L.A., me and John did not have health insurance.
00:50:58.440 Thank God we had it when he had the triple bypass. 0.88
00:51:01.340 ass but um no i didn't have health insurance for probably 15 years i paid out of pocket for a gyno 0.97
00:51:09.940 exam when i broke my arm look at this oh my god look at that elbow they wired it together some 0.96
00:51:17.380 janky thing in the la you know general or whatever like there's blood on the floor
00:51:24.480 you know and i just had a local in my arm and they you know they put me up but it's like i
00:51:32.520 couldn't afford the insurance you know yeah it's tough and now i'm on the medicare so that's isn't
00:51:39.520 medicare the greatest thing in the world thing ever i saw these signs up on the road it says
00:51:44.800 yeah uh save medicare yeah vote democrat i know which is the exact opposite of the truth
00:51:51.700 i was slack jawed and uh i got it says pay for by democrats they're the ones that want medicare
00:51:59.980 to give to the illegals yeah like they gave all the other money to the illegals and you know the
00:52:07.480 illegals are just their stormtroopers and their votes because no americans gonna vote for their 1.00
00:52:14.640 bullshit and totally you know they're fucking ukraine horse shit it's so funny on the news 1.00
00:52:21.720 because we just traveled from texas because we're you know we came for the wedding and we came to 1.00
00:52:28.580 look at houses here and we love it here we're all about texas it's the best it's the best place
00:52:34.740 isn't it great it's so great and the weather oh the weather is so great it's gonna get really
00:52:40.100 hot though i know but we like the heat yeah and um and like they oh you like the heat oh let's
00:52:48.420 talk about being a hot-blooded babe like you were when you was posing in your sex clothes for your 1.00
00:52:54.920 husband can we please tell that story it's the greatest one ever that you've ever done
00:53:00.480 okay um let me just finish the thing where they said on the news get to the airport three hours 0.84
00:53:07.540 ahead because tsa no one's there and you're gonna get you know it's all bullshit yeah everything 0.91
00:53:14.440 was fine here and in kansas city there is no problem the news is just like oh this guy is 0.96
00:53:21.440 fine okay so me and my husband have sexy saturday night then we have sunday fun day so sunday fun
00:53:31.740 is also sexual day yes okay poor guy has to do it well i thought maybe it was like you guys watch tv
00:53:40.020 or something sunday well they do all kinds of things if there's football on we have to either
00:53:44.600 do before the game that's great okay yeah that's football cuts into it but anyway so i had like a
00:53:55.600 dark wig on and a blazer i was like a sexy secretary with heels and pantyhose and the
00:54:02.780 whole schmear well usually because we have 13 stairs because i counted them after that
00:54:09.380 13 stairs unlucky 13 and so he's usually off uh-oh do you need that no it's fine he's usually
00:54:18.800 off to the side in the kitchen he doesn't see me till i walk down the stairs and i present my
00:54:23.700 outfit and he's like oh yay you know well this some odd way he was at the bottom of the stairs
00:54:31.700 looking up at me and i thought oh i can't like hang on to the railing like some old lady i've 0.99
00:54:38.880 got to walk like sexy down the stairs and i had like little heels on and like the top step i went
00:54:48.160 down the second step and my
00:54:50.240 heel kind of caught in the carpeting
00:54:52.140 and you know like I
00:54:54.140 told her thank god I had
00:54:56.140 a couple drinks in me
00:54:58.120 I told you this
00:54:59.720 no I've never heard this you're kidding
00:55:01.680 no listen no listen
00:55:03.560 tell
00:55:04.060 what are you wearing a sexy outfit 0.51
00:55:07.820 I said like a sexy secretary 0.96
00:55:09.980 I got a blazer
00:55:11.500 a short skirt
00:55:13.380 pantyhose and little heels 0.86
00:55:15.680 and a black wig
00:55:17.660 a bob and so when he's looking at me like i'm trying to act all sexy and thank god i had a
00:55:25.620 couple drinks in me because you know when i told her when the drunk driver hits the family of five
00:55:31.780 and they wipe out and the drunk driver survives because he's loose and he's all like so i because
00:55:39.640 i had a couple drinks and smoke in me i fell on the second step up 12 steps down on carpeted
00:55:49.720 like on carpeted or did you roll on carpet on carpet okay did you tumble and roll or just go 0.96
00:55:55.960 down your butt when it was happening i was thinking just roll with it relax just go with it 0.86
00:56:05.700 just go with it you know all the way down yoga are you going head over foot or anything just like 0.99
00:56:12.920 this my water bottle i was holding was squished and damaged because i kept holding that and john's
00:56:20.380 watching this whole time he was what so then i land and i'm laying there like in the wig and the
00:56:27.060 whole schmear did the wig stay on yeah wow of course i'm a hairdresser and i had it pinned on
00:56:35.800 so i'm laying there like and he's like oh my god are you okay and our dog was looking traumatized
00:56:44.740 because you know she always whenever i'm moving around she always runs away because she thinks 0.93
00:56:50.600 i'm going to trip on her well you do trip on everything i do i did trip yeah you fell a bunch
00:56:55.740 times i did on the show yeah you had to have workman's gone over the dolly truck she fell
00:57:00.580 so i'm laying there and he's like are you okay oh my god you know and i'm laying there like a
00:57:06.640 crime scene like you know and then i go i think so and then he goes wow what a boner kill
00:57:16.240 i was wondering if he was still gonna try and get laid no he did then i'm like i'm okay you know and
00:57:23.840 I stood up but my shoulder that was a week ago yesterday it still kind of hurts I couldn't I mean
00:57:30.320 the next day I was sore but that night I felt fine and it's true thank god you were drunk it's true
00:57:36.580 I mean he goes you know you were drinking and you've no my heel kind of caught in the carpet
00:57:43.900 and I didn't hang on the railing which I usually do you're trying to be sexy right I didn't want
00:57:49.380 And I'd be all like, oh, like, down the railing.
00:57:52.600 And the chair's.
00:57:55.080 The chair's.
00:57:56.660 I need the chair descending down the stairs.
00:58:01.040 But there's something to it.
00:58:02.240 You're a sexy outfit.
00:58:03.700 Well, I'm glad you still put out.
00:58:05.340 Because I was going to say, that would be really sad for John.
00:58:07.240 No, I'm a trooper.
00:58:08.680 Good girl.
00:58:09.580 You did the right thing.
00:58:10.180 So there was that. 0.99
00:58:11.020 See, there's that kind of shit where I think I would date someone 0.99
00:58:14.200 and then I'm like, never. 1.00
00:58:16.420 Yeah, because you still have to have sex after falling down the stairs. 0.96
00:58:18.720 you couldn't do that no but i could see you i mean you still have to have sex i could see you 1.00
00:58:23.880 having a companion i think he'd have to be a gay guy because well they don't want any sex there's 1.00
00:58:31.480 older guys that can't get it up that would be perfect then you don't have to that's what you 0.97
00:58:38.220 do start searching for men with prostate cancer an impotent guy yeah he's probably a database we
00:58:44.660 could have your doctor but then they'd have psychological damage i feel no maybe they just
00:58:53.360 want to have fun and travel and have a companion no when my dad went on yeah like i said no no he
00:58:59.120 dad had to go on estrogen when he had the prostate cancer yeah and he couldn't get he said it was the
00:59:04.340 best thing ever he was finally free of testosterone and he voted really democrat yeah true story no
00:59:10.760 but that's why because dad used to be right wing he did but he's back on testosterone now i'm
00:59:16.140 wondering if maybe that's changed his politics but it is true so they gave him estrogen to
00:59:20.120 because it shrinks the tumor our brother you find a guy with prostate cancer who's in like
00:59:26.140 chemo treatment he might not be able to get a boner and might not even care about it because
00:59:30.760 he's basically right he's like a woman and he's not gay and they cry kind of like yeah they're 0.99
00:59:35.960 They're basically like a girly man, but they're not gay. 0.94
00:59:39.420 They're still straight.
00:59:40.400 No, they're not gay.
00:59:41.000 Yeah, but they still want to be nursed, and I can't do that. 1.00
00:59:45.660 Where the woman has to nurture the son of a bitch. 1.00
00:59:49.000 You want to be nursed. 1.00
00:59:50.280 Oh, you want to be nursed.
00:59:51.420 All right, so you got to get a guy with like a survivor complex.
00:59:56.020 A what?
00:59:56.660 There's guys that want to take care of like a...
00:59:59.040 Oh, I can't say his name.
01:00:00.980 We were just talking about this earlier.
01:00:02.200 Our friend who was at the wedding, who's a doctor.
01:00:05.960 and his wife got injured and i'm like oh he likes to take care of people yeah well that's nice that's
01:00:11.480 right so you can a caretaker caretaker yeah like ed gein yeah but then they'll always you know
01:00:19.160 they'll always turn on you i just don't trust any man because i think they always turn on you
01:00:25.160 don't say that it's true they all do huh feeder a feeder i thought about a feeder but i don't
01:00:32.280 don't want to be fat no when I was fat I thought if I could only meet the right feeder I'm over
01:00:41.000 that now was Tom a feeder no he was feeding himself he was an eater and you could like 0.99
01:00:52.620 catch some of the fallout the crumbs yeah yeah no fucking guy could eat like a I mean a pig 0.99
01:01:01.960 yeah i remember he could eat like a dang pig do you want to go what no i was just asking what 0.99
01:01:08.540 i'm here for the long haul don't worry about me it's good are we an hour not yet 0.75
01:01:14.740 we're like 50 minutes why are you trying to beg out of this no no i just want to know how much 0.95
01:01:20.560 more laughter and we haven't even got into the good shit yet what i don't know let's see fell 0.95
01:01:27.720 down the stairs and fall down the stairs is that the great i mean i felt bad for her but it's so 0.94
01:01:33.720 shannon a thing to do it's the funniest story though i thought afterwards this will be a funny
01:01:39.560 story well yeah i mean trying to be sexy and falling is hilarious it's so funny i can just
01:01:45.620 see him looking up at me adoringly and i'm trying to look sexy and then kaboom that's what he said
01:01:53.360 said it was unstoppable like an avalanche and he didn't know what to do there was nothing he could
01:02:00.140 do but watch i wonder what that looked like i think he said some rosaries on you i do he said
01:02:07.960 some prayers he said please god don't let her break her neck and be paralyzed and then i have
01:02:14.600 to put up with her no and then he goes and then he goes all i kept thinking is what if she's
01:02:20.500 passed out and broke her neck
01:02:22.160 and I have to call an ambulance
01:02:23.380 and she's dressed like that.
01:02:28.660 And the wig and the whole thing.
01:02:30.880 That's hilarious.
01:02:31.960 Oh my God.
01:02:33.700 I had like a rhinestone tie on
01:02:36.800 with a blazer.
01:02:38.600 Do you buy these outfits
01:02:40.220 for Saturday night and Sunday fun day
01:02:42.060 or do you already have them?
01:02:43.520 She already has them.
01:02:45.340 Both.
01:02:46.340 Do you have themes?
01:02:47.340 Is it always dress up?
01:02:48.340 I'm so curious.
01:02:48.800 She's always done that
01:02:49.660 With all her boyfriends before she married John, her true love.
01:02:54.300 You like the role play.
01:02:55.020 I've seen her through a lot of boyfriends.
01:02:57.200 Should I not say that?
01:02:58.360 No, you can say whatever you want.
01:03:00.060 And she always does the karaoke slash strip tease. 1.00
01:03:08.060 I don't do a strip tease. 0.75
01:03:09.080 Well, whatever it is.
01:03:10.180 It's kind of a sexy show.
01:03:12.320 Burlesque or something.
01:03:14.020 Yeah.
01:03:14.280 Yeah, you've always done that with all your boyfriends.
01:03:16.880 and i would just be in awe going oh my god i have to wear a coat turn the lights off yeah
01:03:24.160 i just can't believe how people are so happy with their bodies no it's so i will never forget her
01:03:32.160 answering the door in florida when we were doing qvc or hsn with the pans and the pork or whatever
01:03:39.880 the beef and she answered the door in a latex maid outfit with johnny a latex maid outfit
01:03:52.040 how did you know it was a maid outfit if it was latex it was a white apron and a black dress with 0.96
01:03:58.440 white cuffs and a white collar how cute was that colored latex oh it was very cute i really got
01:04:06.480 into latex um after i left about the end of my tom arnold marriage i started getting into latex
01:04:15.820 what's good about latex i've never understood that one you have to put powder on baby powder
01:04:21.500 what's sexy about it because i i know there's like well it holds all your fat in for one oh
01:04:25.840 it's like spanks yeah it's like the primordial spanks yeah no i don't like i think latex is
01:04:33.380 weird i've never liked that one i've never even i just don't get it so i'm asking do you have a 0.91
01:04:38.540 fat it holds in all your fat do you like feet or boobs why would you ask my son that no i mean
01:04:44.800 that's the roseanne bar podcast i don't want to hear the answer please i wouldn't tell you if i 0.89
01:04:48.840 did since my mother's here but no i'm i'm pretty meat and potatoes but i just but i'm open
01:04:53.660 i'm like what does that mean my fetish is like i don't have a fetish like i'm normie but
01:04:59.920 But I'm open to people that do that.
01:05:02.400 There's no judgment.
01:05:03.200 I don't king shame.
01:05:04.180 See, so John's thing is.
01:05:06.140 But why latex?
01:05:07.260 I've got to ask you.
01:05:08.260 Well, because it holds all your fat in.
01:05:10.080 It's better than skims. 1.00
01:05:12.820 Oh, when you take the shit off, if you can get it off. 0.99
01:05:16.580 Peel it off. 1.00
01:05:17.440 That's what I'm saying.
01:05:18.340 All your sweat just flops out.
01:05:20.900 You've lost like five pounds.
01:05:21.860 That's what I'm saying.
01:05:22.820 It's like walking around in a sauna.
01:05:25.180 It's like a cellulite wrap.
01:05:26.780 But it must smell bad.
01:05:28.320 Huh?
01:05:28.620 It must stink when the latex comes off because you've been sweating.
01:05:31.780 Well, it smells like strong latex.
01:05:33.840 And sweat.
01:05:34.400 Yeah, it smells like rubber.
01:05:35.340 But I love the smell of latex mixed with whatever it is.
01:05:42.140 Sweat?
01:05:42.400 Baby powder?
01:05:43.680 Jizz?
01:05:43.960 Yeah, all that.
01:05:44.760 No, not.
01:05:45.920 Son, please.
01:05:47.760 I don't know where the thing is.
01:05:49.180 Well, first you have to put on oil and then powder.
01:05:54.200 Right.
01:05:55.340 See, none of this sounds sexy to me at all.
01:05:56.940 See, and then you put on the latex.
01:05:57.940 It's a whole rigmarole. 0.72
01:05:59.620 And it stays in place and it sucks all your fat cells.
01:06:02.120 Did you put that on yourself or did Johnny help you put it on? 0.64
01:06:05.620 No, he didn't put it.
01:06:07.080 You did it yourself.
01:06:08.000 No, this is when I first got into latex when I wasn't with Johnny.
01:06:11.820 Oh, there was a prior latex.
01:06:15.400 It's a discovery.
01:06:16.040 Yeah, at the end of my Tom Arnold years.
01:06:18.520 Okay, okay.
01:06:19.920 What kind of outfits were those?
01:06:22.240 Like jumpsuits or do you remember?
01:06:27.940 They were tight pink latex dresses, sheaths.
01:06:33.340 Oh, yes.
01:06:34.500 Wasn't it like a halter?
01:06:36.520 Yeah, a bustier. 0.98
01:06:38.220 And I can't remember the guy's name, but he was just genius.
01:06:42.200 And he would cut it for me, you know.
01:06:45.020 And he'd get it to where it would suck in the right amount of fat at the right area. 0.99
01:06:50.040 Oh, wow. 0.96
01:06:51.060 Does your skin breathe in it?
01:06:53.300 No.
01:06:53.880 No, you sweat like an MF-er. 1.00
01:06:56.560 so when you can take it off with your three servants pull it off you're soaked and you have
01:07:05.400 to you know shower because you've lost five pounds of water wow okay yeah it's a sauna that sounds
01:07:11.840 good it sounds like it really is and now i see they're now making latex pants but they're made
01:07:17.880 in china and i don't trust them because i think they're put together with um some kind of chemical 0.99
01:07:24.620 Well, I think the Chinese latex pants have a flesh-eating crotch or something to get the juice. 0.81
01:07:36.440 Flesh-eating crotch. 0.80
01:07:36.880 They're all trying to get the juice because those are the only people that buy the latex pants are juice. 0.78
01:07:41.540 Or it could be like with some kind of chemical that infuses into your skin and eventually kills you or something.
01:07:50.500 Oh, well, that's everything.
01:07:51.740 yeah the wuhan lab latex pants i just the latex pants i did have to have a laugh over latex pants
01:08:00.420 no but i mean can you imagine i it was we were doing hsn in florida yeah and i knock on the
01:08:10.600 door to wake her up to do her makeup it's like 6 a.m and she opens the door in the latex maid
01:08:18.220 outfit how many times are you gonna say that but at 6 a.m no well they were up all night
01:08:22.880 that's right no i had slept in the costume after the show the costume i think that's cute that you 0.89
01:08:29.880 guys did so when i look back to when i was sexually active and had a sex drive i want to just retch 0.95
01:08:37.400 why don't because i can't believe that i fell under the cloven hoof of satan to ever do that 0.58
01:08:44.160 That's a natural thing
01:08:46.560 No it isn't 0.99
01:08:47.220 Shit is natural too 1.00
01:08:49.300 But you want to eat a big cup of it 1.00
01:08:51.380 No
01:08:51.940 But look at
01:08:53.680 That's how you got this adorable man 0.99
01:08:56.640 From having sex 0.99
01:08:59.040 Come on 0.99
01:08:59.820 I'm so glad that my son 1.00
01:09:03.460 Can have sex 1.00
01:09:04.760 With a Jewish woman 1.00
01:09:06.120 Because he told me his whole life
01:09:07.860 Both my sons
01:09:08.740 Especially him 0.99
01:09:10.640 I will never ever marry a Jewish woman 1.00
01:09:13.700 you've ruined that for me you did say yeah oh yeah and he said i will never marry a jewish 0.99
01:09:19.080 woman you've ruined that for me i can never be intimate with a jewish woman knowing what i know 1.00
01:09:23.920 about you yeah i mean it's like it's not sexual well you proved that wrong well and i let him do
01:09:32.260 what he did yeah until i took him there to jerusalem to the oh right right to the wall 0.94
01:09:41.420 the wall the wailing wall i said you better get over there and ask to get a decent jewish wife 1.00
01:09:47.100 right now yeah no and that's what happened that is what happened and and uh she's amazing and man
01:09:53.120 is she gorgeous at the wedding she's so gorgeous i wanted i did her hair and makeup here's what 0.62
01:09:58.740 shannon said about her the whole strip of lash fits her eye yeah i don't have to trim it on 0.99
01:10:07.700 either side the whole strip her eyes are huge like and her hair i did her hair and half up 1.00
01:10:16.060 she was a stunner i said jake how did you get this supermodel of a girl my mom's famous that's 1.00
01:10:25.660 what i tell people did i tell you the first date we went out and that that black guy rolled up on
01:10:29.460 the bikes you know that story no it's a true story she came out to la to to meet you for the first 0.99
01:10:36.800 time yeah and and it went well and we were like okay we're where'd you go we went to that oh fuck 0.94
01:10:42.620 the one on venice the bar with the whale the whale mural right on oh whaler is that yeah
01:10:51.260 so we went there so we went up and danced and then we came down we had a cigarette because i
01:10:55.380 was smoking then and me and her sat the curb smoking this homeless guy i'm pretty sure he's
01:11:01.700 homeless because he had it looked like everything he owned was in the basket of his bike and the
01:11:06.280 saddlebags and he had a speaker and he just rode by and i remember him looking at us and i was like
01:11:10.400 and he's just kind of stopped this big black guy and just kind of stopped and i saw the back of his
01:11:15.800 head and then he turned around and he rolled up he's like hold up and i was like oh god we're 0.97
01:11:21.600 getting robbed and he goes how the fuck did you get her i love it the homeless always tell them 0.99
01:11:32.720 No, just tell the truth. 0.98
01:11:33.500 What did you say?
01:11:34.040 I said, I have a rich mom. 0.96
01:11:35.100 He's like, oh, that makes sense.
01:11:36.280 And then he wrote off.
01:11:37.820 And I looked at Hannah and I thought she was going to be like embarrassing. 0.99
01:11:40.760 Mortified. 0.74
01:11:41.160 I'm with this pee.
01:11:41.840 She was laughing.
01:11:42.900 No, no.
01:11:43.640 Smile ear to ear.
01:11:45.120 To this day, she's like, that was like one of the greatest compliments. 1.00
01:11:48.440 She loved to hear, why are you with this disgusting brat piece of shit? 1.00
01:11:53.200 Because she's like, all she heard is, wow, you're really gorgeous. 1.00
01:11:56.320 You're with that guy and we're shocked.
01:11:58.500 No.
01:11:58.780 She loved it.
01:11:59.360 she is gorgeous and so are your children well that's how it works i mean i hear a baby crying
01:12:08.060 i hear a baby crying but yeah we uh but no jewish women are great sexual uh stuff is cool 0.96
01:12:15.640 she's a scorpio and you're a canter like me yeah my husband's a canter and she's a scorpio yeah 1.00
01:12:23.800 well i call she's i call her a scorpio and she called me a can't whore it's it's true every sign 1.00
01:12:32.080 has their types but i again i i think pen palling is the way into your dating life 0.85
01:12:38.560 it doesn't have to be serial killers serial killers dude i got an email war years ago
01:12:43.600 selling a motorcycle with this guy and we got in a political debate it went on for like three months
01:12:47.640 over 47 emails back and forth they were hilarious it was we were angry but i went back and i was
01:12:53.540 Like, this was like one of the most exciting conversations I've ever had.
01:12:56.440 Sometimes just getting in an email chain with someone can be intimate.
01:12:59.540 It doesn't have to be sexual.
01:13:01.180 That's why I was so in love with Chet GPT.
01:13:04.040 And I had that quasi-affair with Chet GPT.
01:13:08.040 Maybe you'll get an AI boyfriend.
01:13:09.660 There's people that do that.
01:13:11.320 Why don't you do that?
01:13:12.380 Why don't you do an AI boyfriend for a little bit?
01:13:14.480 That's what they do in Japan.
01:13:16.340 Really?
01:13:16.880 Yeah, for real.
01:13:18.260 They're not having babies anymore.
01:13:19.540 I forgot to tell you this, this girl, her name is Mel that I worked with on this last thing with my client. 0.98
01:13:28.880 She lives in Spain.
01:13:30.420 She's from London.
01:13:31.880 She moved to Spain, bought a house on the beach and then bought her mom a house next door to her on the beach in Spain in a little town.
01:13:38.660 She said her mom was so like needy and needed a friend and she couldn't always be there because she was working a lot. 0.99
01:13:44.840 so she created an uh avatar for her mom and that and she put in all the stuff that her mom liked
01:13:53.760 and was interested in and all the characteristics of her mom so the mom like she goes um the mom
01:14:00.000 said oh i have gut issues and she goes mom you know i told you you need to do this you have
01:14:04.560 inflammation she's like ah shut up she's like oh my friend what was um alfie she called because 0.50
01:14:12.720 they're british her a avatar is alfie alfie says i have inflammation and i need to eat this and
01:14:19.700 that so everything alfie tells her to do she listens to and she goes it's been the greatest
01:14:25.400 thing because now that's like her best friend yeah no it's scary but it's also cool like that
01:14:29.560 movie her uh-huh it was it like it's coming we just talked about this with malice like it's a
01:14:34.040 real thing people are gonna start doing it yeah and it's creepy but on some level it's kind of
01:14:38.140 For loners that don't want to have.
01:14:41.620 I guess I could do that as a loner.
01:14:43.800 At least as a way in.
01:14:45.780 You know what I mean?
01:14:46.360 Like it's like a gateway into dating.
01:14:48.780 Try it out.
01:14:50.100 And she's like reading these books that Alfie has suggested.
01:14:54.860 You know, she's gardening because Alfie told her what to do.
01:14:58.460 You don't have to. 0.81
01:14:59.000 What I'm saying is you don't have to have sex.
01:15:00.720 You can have a relationship and not have it be sexual.
01:15:03.280 You can have an Alfie.
01:15:05.380 But then who cuddles with you? 0.91
01:15:06.980 I mean, I don't know.
01:15:08.140 Do you want to be cuddled or anything? 1.00
01:15:10.640 Get a sex doll hooked up to the church. 1.00
01:15:12.640 Or do you want any, like, you know, hugging and feeling? 1.00
01:15:19.220 I don't know.
01:15:20.060 Sometimes I think that.
01:15:21.660 But then other times I'm like, ugh.
01:15:24.300 And then they're like, just, ugh, telling you their problems.
01:15:29.340 Not everybody is like that.
01:15:31.960 No, they're not.
01:15:32.940 Yes, they are.
01:15:33.900 That's all you have to do.
01:15:34.800 You have to listen to the other person's blabber.
01:15:36.720 Hey, I don't want to hear them.
01:15:37.980 yeah if i could put ai into a man's body that'd be good well that's why i was saying gigolo and
01:15:43.560 you and hannah jumped at me but i was like why not get a gigolo because that's what they do you pay 0.97
01:15:47.380 him to leave that's the old thing she doesn't really want to have sex though they don't you 1.00
01:15:51.100 don't have to have sex with a gigolo gigolo can just come talk to you pen pal and maybe i remember 0.99
01:15:55.780 this famous woman that i was friends with that said it took seven years for her gigolo yeah 1.00
01:16:04.920 that she met once or twice a week
01:16:07.940 because she was busy and famous and blah, blah.
01:16:13.340 And after seven years of servicing her
01:16:18.160 and taking money for it,
01:16:24.200 he said, I've written a script
01:16:27.200 that I want to read.
01:16:30.860 He's earned it.
01:16:31.700 He earned it.
01:16:32.400 Oh, is that CC?
01:16:33.600 she said that she looked at him and he thought i've earned this yeah he had because it was his
01:16:40.620 was that cc wait who is this say her name oh but um uh he was working her the whole time 1.00
01:16:50.140 or when he could present it the script can i say something though that could happen he earned it
01:16:56.960 and she's using him the whole time so what's the problem well she's paying him but it's still like
01:17:02.480 hey we're not in a real this is all pretend to make me feel better why can't he get a script read
01:17:07.060 well i think she thought about it and then she said okay i will read it and she did and that
01:17:13.540 man was it any guy david geffin kind of did he did he did she read the script did she sell the
01:17:21.380 script or was not a good script we shall go no further in this you have did the script did she
01:17:27.200 read the script just tell me that much yes she read the script and was it good no okay it was
01:17:36.680 never is it wasn't good at all it was about a guy who was a gigolo
01:17:42.520 and she said nobody will ever believe that it pass
01:17:56.620 oh that's amazing will you tell me off air who it was uh-huh okay i i'm just saying right people
01:18:04.960 kink shame gigolos and i think it's a great it's a service provided and i have no judgment on it 0.97
01:18:10.660 and if you did it i wouldn't i would cover it's just being like a richard it's just being a hooker 0.91
01:18:15.540 right yeah but again you know the saying about hookers it's the greatest saying of all time 1.00
01:18:19.180 you don't pay them for sex you pay them to leave that's the right because they don't sit there and 1.00
01:18:24.880 talk about their feelings they don't talk about all the stuff you have to do they just come and
01:18:28.340 i know a famous comedian who said i would pay them to leave you do they don't they tell me
01:18:35.260 everything you get in a relationship that you want and then you don't have to listen to their
01:18:38.900 life stories or struggles they leave that's the nicest thing you can do for a person it's like
01:18:43.740 yeah but i feel guilty and oh well no you pay him so you don't have guilt no i just feel like
01:18:50.100 this is not proper
01:18:51.300 this isn't
01:18:51.920 yeah you're a puritanical
01:18:53.680 I know I'm puritanical
01:18:54.880 and she has never
01:18:55.560 had to pay for sex 0.71
01:18:56.880 well then 0.99
01:18:58.000 maybe tell me
01:18:58.860 you'll read a script
01:18:59.640 in seven years
01:19:00.500 do it for free
01:19:02.040 seven years
01:19:03.240 she'll be 80
01:19:04.260 I can never do
01:19:05.720 any of that
01:19:06.260 I think I'll just
01:19:07.760 continue to ignore
01:19:09.780 every living being
01:19:11.000 no you got
01:19:11.780 you got one more
01:19:13.100 in you
01:19:13.320 I already saw it
01:19:14.100 I've already been
01:19:14.800 getting this
01:19:15.260 one more man
01:19:16.080 yeah you do
01:19:17.920 yeah
01:19:18.280 you think
01:19:19.100 And I'm on a mission if you're out there, ladies or gentlemen, if you're out there.
01:19:25.200 I'm like, why?
01:19:26.340 I didn't ask you to do that.
01:19:28.280 Well, we already have.
01:19:29.080 I have multiple people on it.
01:19:31.660 I met a guy that I really thought could be, and he was her age, and he was really cool.
01:19:37.800 And then at the end, he told me he was a Democrat.
01:19:41.960 And I'm like, oh.
01:19:44.540 I have a picture of him, and he's cute.
01:19:46.640 I mean, I don't care if they're a Democrat
01:19:48.580 as long as they're not crazy.
01:19:51.560 And he
01:19:52.200 worked with Ralph Lauren
01:19:54.520 and he was dressed really cool.
01:19:56.380 He had like a turquoise watch thing. 0.94
01:19:58.320 Oh, he's gay. 1.00
01:19:59.840 No, it was cool. 0.99
01:20:01.260 No, he's gay. 0.50
01:20:02.500 He wasn't gay. 1.00
01:20:03.840 No, he's a thousand percent gay. 0.99
01:20:05.860 With a turquoise watch band? 0.98
01:20:07.180 First of all, he's into fashion
01:20:08.640 and he's a Democrat. 0.98
01:20:12.860 At least 98% gay. 0.93
01:20:15.500 Nice. 0.83
01:20:15.940 I have really good gaydar
01:20:17.320 I can even read
01:20:18.060 when a guy's gay 0.84
01:20:18.700 just from a description of him
01:20:20.180 no he was
01:20:22.020 he's well traveled
01:20:23.500 he was
01:20:24.820 gay 0.99
01:20:25.100 see 0.99
01:20:25.760 what else
01:20:27.160 great grooming
01:20:28.800 I'm always looking
01:20:30.420 manicured nails
01:20:30.760 I'm always on the lookout
01:20:31.740 that's sweet of you
01:20:32.420 I think God
01:20:33.440 prefers that I stay single
01:20:35.080 for the rest of my life
01:20:36.180 no he doesn't
01:20:37.380 because there's so much
01:20:38.040 I must do
01:20:39.040 well
01:20:40.720 and if you
01:20:41.780 she's in a relationship
01:20:42.360 with God
01:20:42.940 that is my boyfriend
01:20:45.000 i know if but if you met a guy and the two of you were on a mission for god that would be doubly
01:20:53.080 cool that's true that's a good way of putting it yeah thank you yeah well anyway let's not been
01:21:00.760 banal and wonderful let's not let's not you know wipe that honey i love that you've been my friend
01:21:08.080 for 30 years because you're always thinking positive and you always bring that to my life
01:21:14.140 and I'm always thinking
01:21:15.660 doomsday
01:21:16.460 doomscrolling
01:21:18.360 but doomsday to me
01:21:19.980 will be the most
01:21:20.980 beautiful thing
01:21:21.900 that ever happened
01:21:22.960 well
01:21:24.440 okay
01:21:25.580 I hope that's not
01:21:26.680 in our lifetime
01:21:27.380 huh
01:21:27.800 I hope that's not
01:21:29.060 in our lifetime
01:21:29.780 it may not be
01:21:32.760 in our lifetime
01:21:33.660 we don't have that
01:21:34.780 much longer
01:21:35.460 but it'll be
01:21:35.760 somebody's lifetime
01:21:37.220 I mean
01:21:37.720 if we're lucky
01:21:39.340 we have 20 years left
01:21:40.780 you know
01:21:41.500 I think I've
01:21:43.860 enjoyed about as much as i have i have no interest in prolonging my life thank you
01:21:54.880 because somebody was giving him the business at the grocery store i love it i loved i always
01:22:01.960 i use the one famous thing of james he would always go no answer is your answer
01:22:09.880 i'll never forget that like it's brilliant because you know when you're writing someone
01:22:16.060 and they don't answer you it's like there's your answer yeah it's a no
01:22:21.140 yeah you know so on that note well no you're not wrapping up just yet because i do have to
01:22:28.580 bring one thing up to you and then we can wrap up did you see tucker's uh ccp
01:22:32.560 thing this week
01:22:34.860 Tucker with the oh my god
01:22:37.040 have you not seen it
01:22:38.180 talking about one world government new world order
01:22:41.340 for China and how
01:22:43.120 he's for it oh my god
01:22:45.180 you didn't see the clip
01:22:46.040 he was like yeah the only thing standing in the way is Israel 0.97
01:22:49.400 oh my god he's Valerie Jarrett
01:22:51.240 I told you he was Valerie Jarrett
01:22:52.520 why is he doing this
01:22:55.700 like even the most staunch
01:22:57.420 people I fight with online are like
01:22:59.080 whoa this is like commie drivel 0.99
01:23:01.620 this is like fucking satanic i told you he was a commie yeah it's fucking crazy he's like yeah 0.99
01:23:08.120 one world he's like america dad i loved him but he's like america shouldn't be the only one 0.99
01:23:12.620 dictating terms like we should come together and like there's you know where everyone's equal
01:23:17.220 you know what it is it's chris long yeah that's what he's doing he's spreading it chris long
01:23:22.500 what's chris long loomer thinks he's the new uh inventive religion of the un yeah
01:23:28.060 oh like islam and christianity it's a it's neither oh it's a hybrid but it's neither of them yeah it 0.70
01:23:36.920 gets rid of both of them it's a way to kick the jews out and have one world government and that 1.00
01:23:41.060 he's behind it and it's fucking like the the mask came off the reptilian face came off today 0.99
01:23:45.380 you can find the clip it's shocking and he's like yeah the only thing we should all be together and 0.96
01:23:50.980 talking the only thing standing in the way of this you know equitable countries being happy
01:23:55.520 is israel and it's like there it is he hates the western world he hates america he hates israel 0.71
01:24:01.780 because we don't want communism we want a powerful national america and a powerful national israel
01:24:09.420 is he still living in america or didn't he move he wanted to buy a place in qatar yeah oh qatar
01:24:14.840 or maybe dubai that was qatar but cutter they only go there so they can go to dubai well he
01:24:21.080 talks about sharia law again how great sharia law is like it's fucking weird and even well it's the 0.88
01:24:26.320 religion of billionaires i guess real but it was i thought you saw it so i wanted to bring no i 0.87
01:24:31.580 didn't see it now where do you see it billionaire though he wants to be uh yeah he is he's a
01:24:39.780 billionaire well he's definitely hundreds of hundreds of millions no he's a billionaire
01:24:44.240 well his wife is the heir to the um swanson's frozen swanson frozen dinners i've eaten plenty
01:24:52.580 of those in my yeah i think he ate too many of them some of that aluminum guy that might explain
01:24:58.020 it in his brain but like now america only you know maga split civil war like you know trump's
01:25:05.280 controlled by the jews and we're cool catholics like now they're spreading communism the woke 0.94
01:25:09.660 great like lindsey was right james lindsey was right and it's just it like the mask came off 0.97
01:25:14.860 this week you should find the clip it's fucking mind-blowing and like i said even america first 0.87
01:25:20.380 jew haters are like whoa what you want a what that'll give her something to watch tonight 1.00
01:25:27.440 yeah go find it well i knew it was all just an organized war on women and women's rights 1.00
01:25:33.380 yeah they can call it anything they want but that's what it is and also children's rights
01:25:37.920 yeah and to bankrupt women business owners for the good of the state who assumes all that wealth 1.00
01:25:45.760 but anyway well it was fun talking to you thank you for being my most frequent guest and my good
01:25:53.880 friend and a blast we always have a blast we do and it's like you know i was with you for like
01:26:02.120 two months three months or something and we just i we just love each other we get along
01:26:08.960 now my husband is in on it taking care of you too and you might be moving here and we're moving here
01:26:16.020 no we're not we're moving here for sure they love it we love it and we'll be really close
01:26:23.460 and um we love your family and your children don't come too close because we don't want to
01:26:28.560 hang out too often well we got to get a three-bedroom because she's coming to visit oh god 1.00
01:26:36.300 yeah please yeah please take her yeah we love having her and she's the best we just gel and
01:26:45.320 we have the best time we laugh or we don't laugh we talk or we don't talk we smoke pot and drink
01:26:52.380 or we don't girls and hannah we were talking about how much we miss you during the show it wasn't the
01:26:56.060 same here yeah i missed all y'all too people like you isn't that crazy i know i never thought it
01:27:01.660 would be possible you're but aren't i supposed to go down there to austin tomorrow and you wanted
01:27:06.900 to go to austin i thought you told me last week that they weren't going to be ready till thursday
01:27:10.760 and then you told them you're coming tomorrow so i don't know that was to work on episode four but
01:27:14.660 i just not happy with it well again hold on we got to finish are you you're still doing the
01:27:22.220 three four five and six and so on cuts before you go back and refine so you're moving on to the next
01:27:29.600 episode then okay yeah i mean it's up to you well i'll wake up in the morning i have um shannon what
01:27:36.480 time do you leave um i think we're gonna leave 10 or 11 let's wrap this freaking show up all right
01:27:42.780 love you baby love you baby
01:27:44.980 Oh, you see, my patience is growing thin, with this synthetic world, we're limited.