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The Saad Truth with Dr. Saad
- November 27, 2023
On Happiness and the Good Life - My Interview with Dr. Daniel Goodman (The Saad Truth with Dr. Saad_624)
Episode Stats
Length
30 minutes
Words per Minute
158.64456
Word Count
4,766
Sentence Count
231
Misogynist Sentences
1
Hate Speech Sentences
4
Summary
Summaries generated with
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.
Transcript
Transcript generated with
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(
turbo
).
Misogyny classifications generated with
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.
Hate speech classifications generated with
facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target
.
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So let's, let's get into it then. Your book is a fascinating study in happiness and its place in
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our lives. And this is a subject that I'm really interested in and some of my writing and my work
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in religion and literature. And, you know, there are a lot of places that we could begin and go
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into discussion, but I was interested in a stat of a survey that came out recently where
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survey said that 69% of people in 42 countries stated that happiness is extremely important to
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them. But it seems like there's been a lot of pushback in recent years against the idea that
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we should view happiness as an important part of our lives. Different influencers have been talking
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about how happiness is not really something that we should be pursuing, or, you know, we'd be better
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off if we didn't make it such a goal in our lives. There are other people out there, influencers and
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scholars alike have been talking about how maybe we should strive for other things except for
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happiness. And do you, my question is, do you view yourself in your book as maybe part of a pushback
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against this pushback, if you will? And if so, you know, why do you think it's important to,
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to oppose this anti-happiness narrative? Well, yes, thank you for that question. It wasn't written as a,
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I wasn't even aware of the original pushback in order to push back against that.
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I think it's the people who say, oh, you know, you shouldn't pursue happiness, or there's, there's
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a deleterious element to pursuing happiness, I think are missing a key element to happiness,
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which is that you shouldn't be willfully pursuing happiness. So in the last chapter of my book,
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I have a quote from Viktor Frankl, where he's basically saying, I'm paraphrasing his words,
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I don't have the exact quote in front of me, but he's basically saying, as relating to success,
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don't pursue success willfully success is something that comes as a result of you, you know, doing the
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right things. Well, the exact same quote applies, simply replace the word success by the word happiness.
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So I don't get up in the morning. My objective today is to be happy, but rather, if I have adopted a certain
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set of mindsets, if I have implemented certain decisions that I know, statistically speaking,
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are correlated with downstream effects of happiness, then I will wake up inherently happy. So, so I agree
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that the willful pursuit of happiness is not going to make you happy. But let's take an example. If you
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have made a good choice in terms of the spouse with whom you're going to share your life. And if you've
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also made the right decision in terms of which job provides you with the greatest amount of possible,
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you know, purpose and meaning, well, you're well on your way to cracking the code to happiness. Because if I
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wake up in the morning next to the person in the bed with me, and that I really liked that person,
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then I go off to a job that, you know, makes me rub my hands in existential glee. And then I return
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at home to that bed next to that person that I liked in the morning when I left, well, I've pretty
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much I'm happy throughout the day. So, so I again, but I didn't willfully set out to say, I need to be
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happy. And therefore, let me do ABC. I, there's a, I live the life that was authentic to me, whereby the
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choices that I made are congruent with my values. And then the result of that is that I'm content and
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happy.
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Yeah. And so maybe jumping off of that, you know,
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there's so much discussion in, in our culture on happiness and how we should be pursuing or whether
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we should be pursuing it. And I think you really, you've given a great modus operandi, if you will,
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of how to go about maybe achieving it in our lives. And with all the discussion about it,
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I wonder if you feel like we, we don't talk about it enough in our culture, or maybe we don't talk
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about it in the right ways.
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Right. So I, so I think in a sense that speaks very much off the first answer that I gave, which is,
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it is wrong to talk about it as though you should pursue happiness. So that's kind of like,
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I don't know if this is a perfect analogy, but if I, if I were to say to you,
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you know, we've evolved a mechanism called kin altruism, which is where we're altruistic towards
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our kin. Why would we have evolved that? Why would I jump into the river, risk my life to save three of
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my children? Well, if you understand that evolution only cares about the propagation of your genes,
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well, then it makes perfect evolutionary sense from a evolutionary calculus perspective that
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even if I were to die when jumping in that river to save the three children, the three children on
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average share 50% of their genes with me. Right. And therefore it makes, it makes adaptive sense that
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I would engage in this behavior. Now, why am I giving this analogy? Because most people who
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instinctively jump into the river to save their three children are not willfully aware of the
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evolutionary calculus that I just told you, right? They didn't say, well, you know, if it was only one
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child, I may not jump into the river because that's only 50% of their genes, right? It's, it's an
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instinct that's built into us. And then the behavior manifests itself. And if the behavior is adaptive,
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then it makes sense that evolution would select it. So in that sense, happiness is something similar.
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It's not something that is necessarily within the purview of my conscience, conscious machination.
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I don't get up and say, there are five things that I can do today to maximize my happiness.
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But again, if I've lived an authentic life, if I've done enough introspection to say, what do I want
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out of life? Well, I would love to be a parent. I would love to raise children. I would love to be
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married to someone who respects me and who's my best friend. I would love to have a job that,
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you know, every single day gives me great purpose and meaning. I try to do things in moderation.
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So I have a chapter on everything in moderation, which Aristotle had talked about, Maimonides had
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talked about, Buddha had talked about. And so I demonstrate that for most things in life, the edict
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of all things in moderation is exactly correct. I also live life as though it's a playground.
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I immerse myself in play, even when pursuing very serious things like science. And so there's a set of
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these edicts, which if you apply, statistically speaking, it will increase your likelihood of
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being happy. And that's statistically is really the important word here, because unlike many books in
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the self-help market that guarantee you do ABC and you'll be happy, do ABC and you'll be a better
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employee. I'm saying that life is a game of statistical probabilities, right? So if you don't
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want to, if you want to reduce your chances of getting lung cancer, don't smoke, but people who
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don't smoke also get lung cancer, but you certainly reduce your chances if you don't smoke. So by the
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same token, all other things equal, if you pursue intellectual varieties, that's going to increase
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your happiness. If you live life in such a way that you minimize the likelihood of future regret,
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that's going to make you happy. If you choose the right spouse, that's going to make you happy. So
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yes, we do speak about happiness the wrong way, only in the sense that we think that we should
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have a general goal called happiness. No, happiness comes from living a good life.
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Yeah, I, I certainly agree with that. My, my own approach to this is if you pursue the good,
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you can get happiness as an ancillary benefit, you know, can't grab it directly.
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Exactly right.
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Yeah. I was really interested in some of the figures you mentioned who've written about
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happiness and that you've now written about them. Do you view your approach to happiness as
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maybe influenced by any of them in particular? And I missed the first part in terms of what the
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ancient wisdoms? What did you? Yeah, the, the ancient writers and sages, Aristotle,
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and more recently, Viktor Frankl. Do you view your approach to happiness as influenced particularly by
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any one of them? I mean, I could point to a singular one, although I think it's more a,
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a school of philosophy that is more like, so I do think that there's a lot of value in the Stoics.
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Not all of it though. So for example, so this, the Stoics were very good at being the precursor to
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cognitive behavior therapy, right? Cognitive behavior therapy is the idea that oftentimes we suffer from
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psychic maladies because our cognitions about something is wrong. And if I can now change
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the cognition towards that something, then there will be better behaviors and hence CBT is cognitive
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behavior therapy. So the way that you view something is often what causes the harm more than
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the thing itself. Well, that's exactly one of the fundamental tenets of Stoicism from 2000 years ago,
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where, I mean, I'm paraphrasing the exact tenet, but it basically says it's oftentimes not the event
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that is the most painful, but the manner by which we react to the event. Now that is within my control.
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The event happening is not within my control. How I choose to respond to that. And so I take great
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solace in that because we know from contemporary clinical psychology that CBT is one of the most powerful,
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effective tools to combat all sorts of mental ailments. And so I would say that the Stoic
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philosophy is certainly one that is worth exploring if you're interested in happiness.
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If I talk about a singular person, then probably Aristotle, well, first of all, because he's written
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some incredible stuff on that. You know, a good friend of mine who's a fellow Lebanese author,
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his name is Nassim Talib, used to, you know, kind of tease me many years ago. And he'd say,
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you know, God, I don't know what you guys study in psychology, because everything that there is to
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understand about human nature, the ancient Greeks have already told us what it is. And I mean,
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I understood he was kind of ribbing me. But as I was doing a deep dive, in terms of the research for
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this book, I started thinking, you know what, I think that maybe Nassim was onto something because
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every time I would get an insight that I thought was unique and brilliant on my part, because I came
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up with it, well, here comes Epictetus. He's already said it 2000 years ago. And here comes Aristotle,
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and he beat me to it by a couple of millennia. So that was quite a humbling experience, because you
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really do realize that while many philosophical traditions are very rich and varied, there really
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was something in that Greek water that made those ancient Greeks, and in some cases, Romans,
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quite unbelievably adept at understanding human nature. Oh, for sure. Do you know the South Park
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episode, The Simpsons Already Did It? I don't think that's the title of the-
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I don't.
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But you know South Park, right?
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I do know what it is, but I've never watched it.
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Oh, it's such a great, wonderful show. The humor is so sharp, and the satire, and they did
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one episode where the boys are playing, and they're trying to come up with wild schemes and plots,
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and like, oh, I'm gonna go fly out the sun and take a big thing, shield the town from the sun,
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and the other one says, oh, they already did that in the Simpsons episode. And they said,
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no, I'm gonna go and chop off the head of the statue of the town pioneer, and I'll create chaos that
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way. Oh, the Simpsons already did it. And every time they try to come up with some wild and scheming
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plot, they discover that. It was already done in the Simpsons episode.
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So I'm South Park, and the Simpsons are the ancient Greeks.
00:13:14.520
Oh, well, yeah, the Greeks. So I'm working on this book now, on the Divine Comedy, on Dante's
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Divine Comedy. And so there's this one section that I have titled, The Greeks Already Did It,
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because every time Dante tries to create this fantastical situation, he's almost inevitably
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drawing on something out of Greek mythology. It's so hard for him to seemingly to create something
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original. And so I titled the chapter, Greeks Already Did It, like Simpsons Already Did It.
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It's just amazing, their precedents, and whether it's philosophy or mythology and the stories.
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But yeah, getting back to the Greeks, it's really, really interesting to me that you mentioned the
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Stoics as a school of thought for an influence for a source of happiness, because I think maybe
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many of us today, those of us who are familiar with Greek schools of thought, if we're thinking
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about happiness, we would think maybe more of the Epicureans than Stoics in terms of happiness.
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But to use a Stoic as a model for happiness, I think, is really quite an interesting approach.
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Thank you.
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Yeah. So what about for people who do believe that happiness is important, not the school of thought
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today who are pushing back against the happiness narrative, but for those that say, no, happiness
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is important and maybe we should even be striving for it. But there's still a debate of where exactly
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in our lives we should be pursuing it, what arenas we can expect to get happiness. And it seems to me
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that this often comes up, or one of the most contentious areas this comes up in, is the issue of work
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and whether we should be looking for happiness in work and saying, okay, I'm only going to view work
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as a means to an end, and I'm going to look for happiness elsewhere. Or should we be actually
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expecting that our work, our careers, our jobs could make us happy?
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Right. So in an ideal world, yes, I think that we can obtain happiness through our chosen job
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or profession. Now, and I will in a second explain what happens if we can't get that at work. But for
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now, if I'm going to describe what are the key metrics that I should aspire to attain in an ideal
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job, I talk about two key metrics, metric one, or pursuit one, any job that allows you to instantiate
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your creative impulse, all other things equal is a direct pathway to purpose and meaning because the
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act of creation, immersing yourself in creativity is by definition, something that's going to give me
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purpose and meaning. Now that can cover a very large panoply of professions. I could be a standup
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comic, I could be a chef, I could be an architect, I could be an author and professor, I could be a
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podcaster, each of these people are immersed in completely different domains. But they share one
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thing in common, they are creating something a new that heretofore didn't exist until I came along
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and created the standup routine to make the people laugh tonight, created the dish that's going to make
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a great culinary experience, created the bridge, created the book, created the podcast that we're doing
00:17:09.440
right now. So the act of creation is akin to a mystical process. There's something that is so
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beautiful. When I open my laptop, the first time I open it to start that, I open the word document and
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I'm about to strike that first letter of the new book. And then through this incredible process where
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these neuronal firings happen in my brain translating into my fingers. And then 12 months later, 14 months
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later, I send that book to the publisher. And then a year after that, people send me selfies of my book
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with them sitting on a beach somewhere. What could be more purpose and meaning than that, right?
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I have shared something from the deep recesses of my mind that now someone else is choosing to spend
00:18:02.580
their time consuming. That person at the beach can choose 1 million things to do. And somehow for that
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small moment, I won their attention. That's very humbling. That's very beautiful. And the same thing
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applies if I were a standup comic or whatever other one of those creative professions. So number one,
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if possible, if you do something with creativity, that's going to give you purpose and meaning.
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Second one, maybe a bit more earthly and less philosophical, anything that grants you temporal
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freedom in your day-to-day is going to make you happy. So contrast, so I work very, very hard. I work
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very long days, but I'm a vagabond, right? Right now I'm talking to you and we're having a fun
00:18:50.680
conversation. Then I'll go off to the cafe for two hours, start thinking about my next book prospectus.
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Then I'll go and, you know, in French, you say flanay, like vagabond. I'm just kind of floating
00:19:01.220
around. I'm always working, but I don't have what I call scheduling asphyxia. Whereas contrast that
00:19:08.940
to the factory worker who doesn't even have the dignity to decide when they can relieve themselves
00:19:16.340
by going to the bathroom at 10, 15, there is a union mandated break where you can get a bathroom
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break. And at 12, you get to eat for 25 minutes. And so that temporal freedom. So the fact that I can
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kind of go off and create, and I can do so at my pace. Now that doesn't mean that I don't have
00:19:33.860
specific meetings to go to, but generally speaking, I can float around. That gives me great happiness.
00:19:40.660
Now, what about the person who doesn't have the luxury to be able to do that? They have two
00:19:47.460
children that they didn't expect to have this early in their lives. They have to put food on the table
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and they become a bus driver. Well, any honest job is dignified, but then in this case, you may not be
00:19:58.620
able to instantiate what I'm saying within your job. How about after you finish your job, you've always
00:20:04.680
wanted to do glassblowing as an art form. Why don't you, instead of watching TV for four hours,
00:20:09.600
sign up at the local high school where they have an adult learning center, glassblowing and ceramics
00:20:16.740
and do it then. So there's still a way for me to instantiate my creative impulse, ideally at my job,
00:20:23.080
but even if not at my job, I could do it elsewhere. And if I could just add one more thing to my long
00:20:27.380
winded answer, even if you're a bus driver, there are ways that you can approach your job that comes
00:20:35.580
closer to the ideal that I'm proposing or not. So example, I have been on a bus ride where,
00:20:42.720
because I'm someone who has a very open spirit and I'm always looking to chat with random people
00:20:48.440
about all sorts of interesting things, the serendipity of meeting strangers, the magic of
00:20:53.780
that. I remember, I think I was returning either from New York or from Albany back to Ithaca.
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I did my PhD at Cornell University, which is in Ithaca, New York. And on that bus ride back, it was
00:21:05.680
like a couple of hours long. I struck up this incredible conversation with the bus driver and it was a
00:21:11.480
very intimate conversation. As I was leaving the bus, a lady came up and she said, I just want to thank
00:21:15.520
you. I said, thank me for what? Like I hadn't even spoken. She goes, well, I was, I couldn't help but
00:21:19.220
overhearing you and the bus driver chatting. It was a beautiful conversation. Well, that bus driver
00:21:24.460
created the opportunity, talking about create creation, created an opportunity. He was open
00:21:31.060
to the world, that he was open to having an exchange with a random stranger. Now contrast that
00:21:35.540
to another bus driver who views his job as I take people from A to B, otherwise I'm completely closed
00:21:41.420
off. Both of these people are bus drivers. One of them creates much more opportunities for communal
00:21:47.600
bonding and so on. So I would say that those are the two fundamental markers that lead to occupational
00:21:52.880
happiness. Yeah, wonderful answer. There are so many different aspects of that I would want to go
00:22:00.860
into. One of them that jumped out to me, one aspect that you brought up was finding the elements of
00:22:09.460
happiness in your scheduling of how you work and the kind of freedom that you have maybe within those
00:22:18.340
spaces. And I really resonated with that part because, you know, as also someone in a similar space and
00:22:28.200
in academia, and also as a writer, I don't have that kind of nine to five schedule or a factory worker
00:22:36.080
schedule. And so there's that blessing you could say, but also a curse. Some also might describe the
00:22:46.260
aspect of where you're always working because, you know, you're never free from that. You're always
00:22:54.620
thinking about ideas and you're writing and, you know, you may not even have a set office, but your
00:23:01.660
office is everywhere because your ideas are... Your office is here. Yes, exactly. So as soon as you get up,
00:23:09.520
you know, from the moment you get up and then from the moment before you hit the pillow at night,
00:23:15.300
it can always be work. But then it's finding the freedom within that perpetual work to
00:23:22.300
be experiencing the happiness. Exactly.
00:23:28.160
The Seinfeld once described that. I heard him on an interview. He said, you know, someone once asked him
00:23:35.920
about that because he said, you know, he's always working too because the ideas for his jokes are
00:23:40.540
always coming to him and he's always trying to refine them. And they asked him, isn't that a
00:23:46.360
kind of torture? Like you can never be free from work? And he said, well, the optimal kind of work
00:23:52.320
that you want to find is the right torture for you. Exactly. But that's, but maybe from your
00:24:00.140
perspective, you're trying to shift the paradigm of that instead of looking at it as torture,
00:24:04.760
looking at it as this kind of happiness because you found that right form of, if you want to call
00:24:11.540
torture or burden or whatever it is. I actually call it, I mean, not to kind of use an ephemeral
00:24:18.820
term, but I find that it's a form of intellectual hedonism. I mean, I operate in the greatest pleasure
00:24:25.200
seeking ecosystems, which is the world of ideas. Nothing could be more pleasurable than that. So even if
00:24:32.660
we use kind of the regular colloquialism of, you know, Epicurean pursuits, well, yes, I mean, juicy
00:24:38.600
burgers are great, but juicy ideas. Now that's really what titillates me. And so no, to me, it's, I mean,
00:24:45.320
I understand that there's the burden of always having the hyperactivation of your thinking, but if I'm
00:24:50.600
thinking about important things, if I'm not thinking about the mundane administrative things of being a
00:24:55.460
professor, that is asphyxiating, but the, the creative stuff, you know, what, what should I think
00:25:01.940
about my next book? What would be the narrative of my next book? I could spend 10 days without sleeping
00:25:06.380
thinking about that. I love that stuff. I, I, I get high on it.
00:25:12.020
Yeah, me too. That's, um, and maybe that's where you can bring in Epicureanism as a way to enjoy what
00:25:20.240
you're doing. Exactly. Yeah, no, I agree. Yeah. So I only have five more minutes, um, on my end.
00:25:30.920
So I can maybe conclude with one more question. I'm really interested in the connection between
00:25:39.660
religion and happiness as someone who works in the area of religious studies, uh, Jewish thought. And,
00:25:46.940
and, and you mentioned, uh, in your book, uh, you talk about the, the links between religion and
00:25:52.320
happiness. And, um, um, I'm curious if you think that, uh, people who are, are tone deaf to religion as
00:26:02.540
the philosopher Isaiah Berlin once described himself, if they have a lesser chance of being happy than
00:26:09.020
those who have faith, because, uh, as you discussed there, there is this link between religion and
00:26:14.780
happiness. So is, is religion just, uh, one more means of obtaining happiness and how do people who
00:26:21.680
don't have this religious sensibility, how might they be able to, to access the kind of happiness
00:26:28.440
that religious people can experience? Yeah, that, that, that's a great question. And I actually
00:26:32.800
exactly addressed that because I didn't want the people who were irreligious to walk away thinking,
00:26:37.940
well, they're, they're now doomed as they have fewer, you know, pathways to happiness. So you're
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exactly right. There is a moderate positive correlation between religiosity and happiness.
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The more religious I am, the happier I am. But I actually argue that there are very earthly reasons
00:26:55.300
for why that link might exist to the extent that religion provides me greater communality,
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greater cohesion within group members. It offers me some form of purpose and meaning. Uh, it allows me
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to have greater bonds of reciprocity within group members. Those are all very earthly human needs.
00:27:18.580
And then religion is simply instantiating those human needs. It's, it's offering a vehicle for those
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human needs. Then it makes perfect sense for, for the research to have found that there is a positive
00:27:28.380
correlation between religiosity and happiness. But then right after that, exactly to your question,
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I say, but wait a second, what if you're not religious? Well, then there, I argue that there are still
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ways by which I can go out and grab the awe-inspiring spiritual experiences that cause life to be
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magisterial. So to, to my earlier point about striking up a conversation with a random stranger,
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that moment where two people who until that moment did not know each other could immerse themselves in a
00:27:59.380
intellectual tango for the next 30 minutes and both walk away feeling enriched. That was a spiritual
00:28:04.500
experience. Uh, uh, you know, looking at how my children are growing and developing into young
00:28:11.360
teenagers, uh, you know, who have moral code, who have interesting ideas to discuss with me,
00:28:18.340
that is a spiritual experience. So, so there are many, so there are many ways by which I can tickle my
00:28:24.580
spiritual itch. One way is through immersing myself in, in my faith, but there are many,
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many other ways by which I can also achieve that goal. Uh, I argue that there are, in addition to
00:28:38.540
the religious pathway, there are two other ways by which we can all be immortal. So even if I don't
00:28:44.380
believe in religion, I can still aspire to be immortal. It's either through genetic propagation.
00:28:49.900
I mean, literally having children causes me to be immortal. I, I, I, you know, my children are a
00:28:56.120
vehicle of my immortality. I know it doesn't sound romantic, but that's literally true. The other way by
00:29:01.140
which I can be immortal is through mimetic immortality. If, if I write a book that is going
00:29:06.780
to be read for many years to come, therefore that legacy causes my ideas to be immortalized in a
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library, in other people's minds and so on. So there are many ways by which I can itch that religious
00:29:20.360
itch or scratch that religious itch, either by reading some Jewish or Christian or Islamic texts or
00:29:29.400
whichever your religion, or simply by appreciating the majesty of life.
00:29:35.040
Well, that's a really beautiful answer and a wonderful way to conclude this discussion.
00:29:42.040
Thank you so much, Dr. Saad, for your time and your graciousness. The book is The Sad Truth
00:29:49.900
About Happiness available now from Recknery and I, I highly recommend it to all readers out there.
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Thanks so much.
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Thank you, Dr. Goodman. Cheers.
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