The Tucker Carlson Show - Bethany Hamilton： Men in Women’s Sports, Marriage Advice, and Why You Need to Homeschool Your Kids

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00:00:30.000 You having a pretty good Democratic convention so far?

00:00:33.980 It's awful.

00:00:36.280 We found a way we think we can make it a little bit better, or at least entertaining.

00:00:40.400 So Thursday night, 9.30 Eastern Time, we are going live in real time to react to Carmela Harris' primetime speech.

00:00:49.160 Joining us will be Jason Whitlock, our old friend, one of the best,

00:00:52.720 at this set at this table to assess her speech as she gives it in real time.

00:00:58.760 This is airing only at TuckerCarlson.com, and we highly recommend you join us.

00:01:05.420 We invite you, in fact.

00:01:06.640 In the meantime, here's our latest episode with Bethany Hamilton.

00:01:10.300 How do you deal with fear?

00:01:13.120 Okay, so I deal with fear maybe more naturally and better than your average human, but...

00:01:20.780 I would say.

00:01:21.280 It's not, like, a really thoughtful process for me.

00:01:24.240 It's truly just facing my fears and not letting my fears, like, overtake me so much that I get paralyzed.

00:01:32.820 And so I think maybe since I, you know, when I lost my arm when I was 13 years old,

00:01:38.100 I had such a deep passion for surfing that my decision to get back in the ocean was based off of, like,

00:01:47.020 getting back to my passion and my love for riding waves and not just facing my fears, you know?

00:01:52.840 I had, like, a deeper reason.

00:01:54.780 Like, I just loved doing what I did.

00:01:57.040 And so I wanted to see if it was possible with one arm.

00:01:59.640 So I truly just faced my fears.

00:02:02.300 And over time, I think facing them over and over and over again,

00:02:06.680 I eventually became less fearful of sharks, so to say.

00:02:11.940 And it's funny, I've heard that sharks and motivational speaking are, like, people's two greatest fears.

00:02:21.340 And that's, like, the two things that I do.

00:02:23.700 I surf with sharks in the ocean or, like, you know, overcome my, like, incident with the shark.

00:02:29.860 And then I do motivational speaking, which I would say I didn't like that at first.

00:02:34.900 But eventually I overcame that, like, that dislike or that fear or that uncomfortability.

00:02:41.360 And I think so often in life, we naturally want to, like, run from discomfort, you know?

00:02:47.340 We want to make things as easy and comfortable as possible.

00:02:51.320 And so if you can learn to recognize that sometimes you can't do that and sometimes you have to, like, walk into uncomfortable, you know?

00:03:00.700 I find in, like, relationships, for example, sometimes you have to have the uncomfortable conversations to make that relationship more beautiful.

00:03:10.940 Yes.

00:03:11.600 But a lot of us just want to, like, avoid that instead.

00:03:15.240 And in the long run, that just makes the relationship less beautiful and less meaningful and less filled with depth.

00:03:24.060 And then eventually that relationship may dissipate.

00:03:28.600 Absolutely right.

00:03:30.880 That's a more subtle process, of course.

00:03:34.140 Yeah.

00:03:34.440 It's sort of like, you know, getting diabetes doesn't happen all at once.

00:03:37.520 It's, like, over time.

00:03:38.860 Getting in the ocean to go surfing again is a very abrupt experience.

00:03:42.620 Yeah, and I think for me, it wasn't like I was going out to, like, the sharkiest location, you know?

00:03:49.060 Sharkiest.

00:03:49.540 When you're, as a surfer, there's certain spots that you're like, ooh, I got the heebie-jeebies here.

00:03:55.060 Or, you know, when you surf at sunset hour or if the water is a little more murky, you're like, ooh, this feels a little more, like, sketchy or more uncomfortable.

00:04:02.760 So, I started off in, like, the shallow, clear, blue waters.

00:04:07.180 And so, my initial surf with one arm wasn't filled with a deep fear.

00:04:13.240 Like, of course, I was thinking of them.

00:04:15.620 I mean, it was so recent.

00:04:16.900 I started surfing with one arm three and a half weeks after I lost my arm.

00:04:21.740 Three and a half weeks?

00:04:22.620 Yeah.

00:04:23.560 Well, that's wild.

00:04:25.040 I was on a mission.

00:04:25.860 I basically went as soon as the doctor said I could, and my healing was really fast because everything was really clean cut, and I had a great surgeon.

00:04:36.060 And, you know, I just had one of those cases that was, I would say, a little easier than most, you know, traumatic limb loss.

00:04:45.900 And so, here I am, less than four weeks later, getting back on my board.

00:04:51.020 What did your parents say?

00:04:52.080 I think my mom was scared that I wouldn't be able to do it.

00:04:56.680 So, she's trying to come up with new, you know, options.

00:05:00.180 Like, you could be a photographer.

00:05:02.000 Like, we can go to the mountain and snowboard.

00:05:07.300 But my dad, I think he saw it, and he was like, let's go.

00:05:12.340 And he was, like, there with me, trying to help me catch my first waves.

00:05:16.740 And I'm like, no, dad, I got this on my own.

00:05:19.040 And lo and behold, I popped up on my third wave and rode it all the way to the beach and felt like one of the best waves of my life.

00:05:27.360 Just tears of joy and just that sense of, like, wow, I can do this.

00:05:33.460 Yeah, I surfed as a child.

00:05:35.200 I don't see how, just the paddling part, I don't see how you could do that.

00:05:39.280 Yes, it's definitely, I've adopted in my own unique way.

00:05:44.740 And thankfully, I have one really strong arm.

00:05:47.900 So, we make the most of what we got here.

00:05:51.900 But, yeah, my approach toward catching waves is different.

00:05:55.700 Like, a lot of times, people will take, like, 10, 15 strokes.

00:05:59.140 Whereas me, I'm trying to position as close to the takeoff as possible so that I take one to three strokes to catch the wave.

00:06:07.500 And so, it's definitely different.

00:06:10.280 But I make it work.

00:06:12.280 Wow.

00:06:12.860 But your father didn't hesitate in bringing you back to the ocean?

00:06:15.760 No, I think my dad just, he, like, both my parents were surfers, so they get it.

00:06:20.740 They get that love for the ocean.

00:06:22.620 They get that need to, like, get back out there.

00:06:25.380 And, yeah, you know, you could be fearful of sharks.

00:06:30.780 I think that's, like, one of the number one questions I get.

00:06:33.860 It's like, why would you go back into the ocean?

00:06:37.780 But for me, you know, it was my way of life.

00:06:42.520 It was something I did every single day.

00:06:44.560 And even though I was young, I wanted to be the best in the world.

00:06:48.520 And I had the potential to be the best in the world at that age.

00:06:51.780 Like, very highly competitive.

00:06:53.740 I was winning just about every event that I entered the summer before at 13 or 12.

00:07:00.360 I finished second in the national titles in the 18 and under division.

00:07:04.640 So, I was, like, kind of heading on that trajectory, so to say, of, like, she could be world champ.

00:07:10.480 Um, and so, on top of being competitive, though, like, competition aside, I could care less about a jersey at the end of the day.

00:07:18.940 Like, I just love being in the ocean.

00:07:20.680 And now, fast forward, I'm a mom of four, and I'm passing on my love to my children.

00:07:25.260 Yeah, um, you don't, I'm just so struck when you said breakfast to end, your total lack of bitterness or self-pity, um, which leads to optimism and joyfulness, of course.

00:07:40.580 But how, how long did that take to reach?

00:07:43.960 I am so grateful, you know, I have, my mom was very encouraging to me in my childhood to know God and to have faith.

00:07:54.700 And so, I look at my 13-year-old self and really think, like, childlike faith.

00:07:59.680 Like, that's what Bethany had at that time.

00:08:02.260 Um, and that helped me to overcome that season and to be grateful for life.

00:08:07.940 Like, I woke up thinking, I could have died, but I'm still here, and I'm so grateful to be alive.

00:08:13.840 And even though my life felt upside down and my future felt uncertain and, like, it was obviously a really hard, chaotic time.

00:08:22.240 Um, but I had this peace that I believe only God can bring, um, that even though I didn't know what my future was going to hold, I trust that there's more for my life, and I'm grateful to be alive.

00:08:35.900 And that gratitude really pushed me forward, I think.

00:08:39.400 Like, I didn't mope a lot.

00:08:41.180 I didn't, like, sit and focus on, like, the negative of the situation and how awful it was.

00:08:46.100 And I would even say, too, like, I did media really early on, um, kind of willingly, like, as a little 13-year-old, because I had a heart for other people, and I wanted to encourage other people.

00:08:59.040 And so, I started surfing four weeks later, and then people were like, oh, my gosh, this little girl's, like, learning how to surf with one arm right after she loses her arm to a shark.

00:09:07.580 So, people were just awe-inspired.

00:09:09.880 This is, like, before social media, but my story truly went super viral.

00:09:14.080 I remember.

00:09:14.900 And I would get letters from all different walks of life, like, inmates to, like, people all over the world, like, little girls, like, if Bethany can surf with one arm, I can overcome my challenge.

00:09:26.440 And so, I had a heart for other people, and so I was willing to talk about my story and, like, share what I had went through and my desire to keep going and overcoming.

00:09:35.440 And, but I think talking about it really helped me to overcome the traumatic side of it, like, just facing that traumatic incident and talking about it.

00:09:46.880 Like, now, I think I can think about that exact moment, and I don't feel, like, overwhelmed with sadness or anger or, you know, it's just, it is what it is sort of a feeling.

00:09:58.280 Um, and I think talking about it really helped that in itself.

00:10:02.500 But you, if I understood you correctly, you woke up the next day after losing your arm feeling grateful?

00:10:07.840 Yes.

00:10:08.780 That's wild.

00:10:10.020 Yeah.

00:10:10.380 I was in the hospital, and I was just really grateful to be alive.

00:10:14.000 And I think the doctors painted the picture of, like, hey, you lost over 60% of your blood, you could have died, like, it's a blessing that you're still here.

00:10:23.520 But more importantly, I trusted that God had more for my life in that.

00:10:29.100 You certainly did.

00:10:30.080 You know.

00:10:30.960 What did you think you were going to do?

00:10:32.420 Did you have any sense of what your life would look like?

00:10:34.600 Oh, I had no clue.

00:10:36.380 And I think that uncertainty felt really hard.

00:10:39.380 And I think a lot of people who face traumatic situations, they want to just get back to normal life.

00:10:48.920 So maybe that was part of my desire to get back into surfing was, like, let's just get back to normal life.

00:10:54.000 Like, I want to be back in the ocean doing what I love, being with my friends, you know.

00:10:59.280 And so once I proved that I could do it, then there was no turning back.

00:11:03.640 I started surfing all day, or not all day, but surfing every day again and just getting back to normal life.

00:11:10.200 And it took time to adapt and adjust and figure out how to do things.

00:11:14.640 And there was definitely days where I'd be completely frustrated and crying.

00:11:18.720 And, like, the waves were just sending me back to the beach and just so frustrating.

00:11:23.240 Like, I think anyone who spends time in the ocean can know that, like, it's such a humbling place.

00:11:28.120 It's like, no matter how strong or capable you are, it will humble you regardless.

00:11:35.420 Oh, and it can hurt you at any time.

00:11:36.840 Yeah.

00:11:37.220 And so doing it with one arm, I think that also gave me confidence to face the other challenges in my life.

00:11:44.320 I'm like, if I can surf with one arm, what else is possible with one arm in, like, all the other areas of my life.

00:11:49.240 So it really set me on this trajectory to be willing to adapt and to just make the most of what I have and have got.

00:11:57.060 And so, lo and behold, little Bethany just adapting in every which way.

00:12:02.900 Did you ever think you would have four children?

00:12:05.420 I always really looked forward to being a mom.

00:12:08.320 And I think because my mom had so much fun with me and I was a parent that she loved being a mom and that she loved adventuring with me and my brothers, that showed.

00:12:20.380 And so I think that inspired me to want to be a mom.

00:12:23.500 And so, yeah, fast forward, being a mom is such a joy in my life.

00:12:29.220 And I always thought I would have three, but here we are, we have four.

00:12:32.380 How did that happen?

00:12:33.600 It just happened.

00:12:36.160 Yeah, it was crazy.

00:12:38.040 Like, we got married and, you know, typical, like, married couple.

00:12:41.560 Like, let's wait five years before we have children.

00:12:44.900 And then, like, about a year and a half later, I got pregnant.

00:12:47.680 I'm like, okay, let's go.

00:12:49.440 Even though I felt scared at that time, like, I think God's timing was perfect.

00:12:54.660 And I loved just basically bringing our little guy into our life and taking him along for the ride.

00:13:02.660 I was in a unique season in that I kind of quit competing and thankfully I did because that's when I met my husband.

00:13:11.380 And then we got married and he was like, hey, what else do you want to do in surf?

00:13:15.320 Because it's not like that's something you can do forever.

00:13:18.140 So let's just, like, do a little more surfing and you can, like, check off all your goals and your dreams in surf.

00:13:24.600 So we started traveling and filming my documentary, Unstoppable.

00:13:29.060 And then I get pregnant.

00:13:30.100 I'm like, oh, my gosh.

00:13:31.360 Like, I felt like my world was flipped upside down.

00:13:33.900 But I just ended up, we brought our little Tobias along for the ride with us.

00:13:38.740 And I had some of my greatest success in surfing in that season after having my first child.

00:13:46.660 And I finished my documentary and then...

00:13:50.420 And you brought him with you?

00:13:51.260 Yeah, so my one-year-old had, like, more passport stamps than, like, your average human.

00:13:57.660 And we did, I remember this one flight, it was 13 hours across the world to the Maldives.

00:14:03.880 And we did some shooting down there.

00:14:06.080 And then I'm, like, nursing him and about to paddle up for my heat in Fiji competing.

00:14:12.480 And we just made it work.

00:14:15.000 You know, most young parents, you know, I include myself in this,

00:14:18.860 find it really hard to travel with little kids.

00:14:21.260 Oh, my gosh.

00:14:21.960 Like, having babies on an airplane is not easy.

00:14:25.760 And so...

00:14:26.600 But we kind of just figured out how to make it work.

00:14:30.720 And I think because we immersed into that early on,

00:14:33.660 you get your little tricks on the road.

00:14:36.300 And you just become more adaptable, I think.

00:14:39.120 Like, I think routine is so good for children.

00:14:41.880 But we definitely had a lot of routine disrupt.

00:14:44.480 And we just had to, like, create our own routine on the road.

00:14:48.980 And, yeah, it was really a lot of fun.

00:14:51.640 I, like, look back on that season.

00:14:53.620 And, I mean, my season hasn't changed that much.

00:14:56.860 We still travel quite a bit with all of our four littles.

00:15:00.240 Well, I've noticed that.

00:15:01.120 They're all here.

00:15:01.780 You're on the other side of the world from where you live.

00:15:03.740 And you brought all of your children.

00:15:05.820 And they're young.

00:15:07.180 Your little one's one?

00:15:08.380 Yep.

00:15:08.980 My little one's one.

00:15:10.480 And then I got a three-year-old, six-year-old, and nine-year-old.

00:15:15.300 It's interesting that you do that.

00:15:17.160 Did you decide that you were just going to stay a unit wherever you went?

00:15:22.220 Yes.

00:15:22.620 I think we realized that we were just still traveling a lot.

00:15:28.980 And we actually were trying to create a business

00:15:32.300 that would be sustainable within Hawaii.

00:15:35.800 And we actually ran into some business trouble.

00:15:38.920 So we had to, like, reconfigure how we did everything.

00:15:42.680 And it just ended up being that traveling for work.

00:15:45.800 I do a lot of motivational speaking, which I absolutely love doing that.

00:15:49.440 I love being able to be an encouragement and inspire people.

00:15:52.640 But, obviously, traveling with a family of six is not ideal.

00:15:57.760 Yeah.

00:15:58.400 But I, like, the last thing I want to do is leave them home.

00:16:01.760 Like, I would have inner angst, and I just wouldn't—I know that it wouldn't work for me.

00:16:09.880 Like, I would lose my mind.

00:16:12.000 And I know that my greatest God-given role is to be a mother.

00:16:16.160 And if I'm neglecting that role, like, I won't be able to live at peace.

00:16:19.860 And so just bringing them along is the way we've done—we're doing it right now.

00:16:24.840 And it's working, and they're just blossoming as humans.

00:16:28.640 Like, it's really fun to see them growing in their own ways.

00:16:32.360 And, yeah, just being—being along for the ride.

00:16:36.540 I mean, they must get closer to each other.

00:16:39.120 Oh, yeah.

00:16:40.200 Last night—yesterday was rough.

00:16:42.200 We were all super jet-lagged.

00:16:43.480 We had done a red-eye.

00:16:44.940 And I'm, like, at one point, I'm, like, go outside.

00:16:47.600 Like, don't come back in until you're ready to be at peace.

00:16:51.260 So, you know, there's rough moments.

00:16:53.260 But for the most part, they get along really well.

00:16:56.240 I love that.

00:16:57.380 And you travel with your husband everywhere.

00:16:59.460 Yes.

00:16:59.820 So we're just family unit.

00:17:01.700 My husband and I teamwork everything.

00:17:03.520 So he's kind of, like, behind the scenes making things happen.

00:17:07.800 And then I'm showing up and doing a lot of, like, what we do.

00:17:12.900 And so, yeah, it's really a unique life.

00:17:17.960 And I love doing it, though, with my husband.

00:17:21.740 And it's just, like, we're the ultimate team.

00:17:24.780 And then the littles are, like, our little minions along for the ride.

00:17:30.180 It's just a completely different model of living from the one that most Americans, certainly, I grew up with.

00:17:38.100 Where, you know, the father or both parents sort of head out, you know, in the morning to their own totally separate spheres of work.

00:17:46.440 And then the kids go out to school, their separate spheres.

00:17:50.480 And then possibly they all meet together for a meal at night, and then they go to bed.

00:17:54.960 Yeah, it's definitely different.

00:17:56.940 And I think what made me more open to this life that we've chosen to live was I homeschooled from seventh grade on.

00:18:07.840 You grew up being homeschooled?

00:18:09.360 Yeah, I grew up being homeschooled myself.

00:18:11.440 So my mom kept me home from seventh grade on.

00:18:13.820 I did elementary school, and then I stayed home after that.

00:18:17.480 And it was primarily, like, there was a few different reasons.

00:18:20.580 Our local public school was super bad.

00:18:22.380 We couldn't afford private.

00:18:23.800 And I was also, like, really highly competitive.

00:18:27.360 I was already starting to travel for surf.

00:18:29.360 And so my parents decided to keep me home and save that drive time, too.

00:18:35.100 Our school is really far away.

00:18:36.720 It's like a 45-minute drive, hour one way.

00:18:41.420 So two hours just driving to school.

00:18:43.880 And so we just decided to stay home.

00:18:47.060 And my parents just kind of let me run with things.

00:18:50.620 And then I started surfing with one arm and even competing with one arm.

00:18:54.220 And that started less than a year later after losing my arm.

00:18:59.580 And so two summers later, I win a national title.

00:19:03.560 And then I started competing in the World Qualifying Series.

00:19:07.980 So just, like, the biggest league in surf to be a professional.

00:19:13.120 And so I started traveling international around 16, 17, 18.

00:19:18.100 I'm, like, traveling around the world already.

00:19:20.320 So just being able to finish school while I'm traveling and have that flexibility was really just made it possible.

00:19:30.060 You know, some of my peers did finish normal school, and then they started competing.

00:19:34.660 So there's different ways about it.

00:19:36.620 Either way, you can be highly competitive.

00:19:38.760 You just have to work with what you got, you know.

00:19:41.360 But I feel like traveling and surfing taught me more than, you know, school did.

00:19:48.480 And so it just made me a savvier human.

00:19:52.660 It made me, like, understand the world more.

00:19:55.060 You know, I saw a lot of different cultures.

00:19:57.740 And, you know, I had to build my own independence really young.

00:20:02.700 And it just, you know, I blossomed a little younger, I would say, than most people.

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00:21:55.480 What did you think, I mean, what did that do to your relationship with your mom?

00:22:13.300 Did you get along with her when she was homeschooling?

00:22:15.520 Yeah, you know, I think like most teenagers, we got along, but there was like a little sandpaper too.

00:22:21.900 Yeah.

00:22:22.060 Um, she did the best she could and in hindsight, I look back and I'm like, you know, I had some teenage vibes going on, but for the most part, like, yeah, I think for the most part, we had a really awesome relationship and my parents would take turns traveling with me.

00:22:38.040 So, you know, we lived in Hawaii, price of living is really high and they're just barely scraping by, but they still gave me so much to support me.

00:22:47.560 And you lived on an outer island.

00:22:48.660 Yeah, we lived on the outer island too.

00:22:50.840 So we're always in our island hopping.

00:22:52.560 And then once we started traveling more internationally, it was just a lot on them.

00:22:56.720 But thankfully, like I was surfing so well and I had, I started supporting myself around age 16 financially.

00:23:05.640 So I was traveling under my own dollar at that point, but my parents would come along for the ride with me sometimes.

00:23:12.880 And I think sometimes they're pitching in, but, uh, yeah, it just kind of started young for me.

00:23:20.000 What a different childhood.

00:23:21.540 Yes, very different.

00:23:22.640 And I think too, being a professional athlete, you learn diligence and ownership over your life.

00:23:31.060 You have to push yourself.

00:23:32.400 You have to be self-motivated.

00:23:33.720 You have to, you know, really work hard at your sport and nobody else is going to do it for you.

00:23:40.280 And so I learned that really young and that has served me in so many different ways throughout my life.

00:23:47.500 Are you going to homeschool your children?

00:23:49.680 Yeah.

00:23:50.140 So we're in the early stage of homeschooling and it's a beast.

00:23:54.900 Is it?

00:23:55.820 I think it is.

00:23:56.720 But I also think we make it more of a beast than we need to be.

00:24:01.400 And can you just, I mean, think a lot of people, um, well, certainly my age whose kids are grown, you know, sort of think, well, I probably should have done that.

00:24:10.120 Didn't even really think about it.

00:24:11.460 Should have done it.

00:24:12.440 But now with, you know, the sort of obvious evil going on in government schools and private schools, I think a lot of people would like to homeschool.

00:24:23.040 I mean, the.

00:24:24.140 But how hard is it?

00:24:24.760 What is it?

00:24:25.160 What is it exactly?

00:24:26.280 The rate of homeschool is grown by like millions and millions of more Americans homeschooling.

00:24:32.540 And so what's really cool is there is a lot of resources and tools and information to make it more possible.

00:24:40.640 And I think a lot of people get overwhelmed at the thought of homeschool because you think of traditional school, which is seven hours a day.

00:24:49.160 But a lot of that time is wasted time that isn't actually learning or educating.

00:24:54.960 And so taking the model and changing it to be less than two hours a day.

00:25:03.120 And chances are they're learning more than they would in a school day.

00:25:08.460 Plus they're.

00:25:09.460 Wait, less than two hours a day?

00:25:11.000 Yes.

00:25:11.480 Yes.

00:25:11.980 Yeah.

00:25:12.320 You don't need a whole lot of time to accomplish a lot of your educating in each day.

00:25:20.000 And so.

00:25:20.820 Then why are we sending kids to school all day?

00:25:24.740 I mean, that's a big question, right?

00:25:27.720 Yeah, it is.

00:25:28.640 You know, I think it's primarily the financial system.

00:25:36.300 You bring it back to the financial system and it is a lot harder to survive on one income.

00:25:43.100 Now, fast forward in this day and age, it's, you know, my parents made it work in that my mom was working.

00:25:50.660 And so there was a little pass back and forth, or I would go stay with my friend if my mom was working a night shift.

00:25:57.400 And so I just remember, like, she just worked the restaurant industry.

00:26:02.960 Both my parents were in the restaurant industry.

00:26:05.020 So they're very, like, simple life, like not a high income, just barely getting by.

00:26:10.200 But they did show that you can homeschool on a lower income.

00:26:14.900 And still do a whole lot.

00:26:17.720 And so I think seeing them worked hard was really inspiring for me because I just saw them dedicate a lot to me, but also work really hard.

00:26:27.740 And I think a lot of people are overwhelmed at the thought of homeschool because, you know, parenting in itself is pretty hard.

00:26:38.080 Yeah, it is.

00:26:38.620 Um, but I wonder why it's become so hard for us.

00:26:42.520 Like, for me, I've had to unpack a lot of, like, my habits or, you know, things that I'm not necessarily proud of.

00:26:50.740 Like, you know, I had a season where I was really, like, short-tempered and, like, I had to work through some health things to get on to the other side of that and, like, support myself to better mother my children.

00:27:02.660 And I look back on that season and I hate that version of myself.

00:27:06.640 Like, I mean, I'm forgiving of her, but I'm like, why was I like...

00:27:10.400 How bad was she?

00:27:12.340 I was just, like, really, like, you know, I think women tend to be more emotional and... 1.00

00:27:18.480 And they're hard on themselves, that's for sure.

00:27:20.200 Yeah. And I look back on that season and I realized that it was more than just being a woman.

00:27:27.140 Like, I wasn't being supported nutritionally.

00:27:30.260 Like, my sleep was really bad.

00:27:32.300 And, like, there was a few other things going on where it was, like, just high stress.

00:27:36.280 And I was very, like, easily angered and I had to really, like, work on my nutrition and my lifestyle habits.

00:27:44.220 Like, I stopped watching TV at night.

00:27:47.100 Like, sometimes, you know, I would want to just, like, wind down.

00:27:50.060 And I stopped doing that and I would just focus on getting to bed sooner, making sure I'm eating enough in the day, getting enough protein and carbs throughout the day.

00:27:59.500 And just making some health shifts that really, like, changed who I was.

00:28:04.540 Like, I'm way more patient now.

00:28:06.960 I'm way more, like, I can hold the needs of my children and their emotions because children are more, like, they're not as emotionally stable.

00:28:15.660 And I really think that we help them stabilize by how we are.

00:28:19.860 Yes.

00:28:20.300 You know, and a lot of people are just struggling to remain calm when their child's having a full-blown tantrum.

00:28:26.560 It's like the parent is having a tantrum with the child.

00:28:29.200 Yes.

00:28:29.920 But we need to do the opposite.

00:28:31.540 We need to, like, hold steady while they're having their tantrum and, like, help them work through that.

00:28:37.220 And so, yeah, mothering's taught me a lot and has challenged me in ways that no other role in life has challenged me.

00:28:47.640 And, but I'm so grateful for that because it's sharpened me.

00:28:51.080 It's made me, you know, really have to dig deeper and, like, work through my issues and work through my challenges that were some, some of them were probably learned, too.

00:29:01.740 Like, my mom's, my parents are amazing, but I still, like, had some learned habits that weren't great that I needed to, like, unlearn and, like, reform and currently still working through some of them.

00:29:14.040 But, you know, for the most part, I can look back on this season that wasn't so good.

00:29:19.260 And I'm so grateful that I was willing to adopt and challenge myself and look for help and educate myself and dive into health and, like, be an advocate for myself because at the end of the day, nobody else was going to do that for me.

00:29:33.620 And fast forward even to, like, the influence I have on my household and, like, helping my husband to be healthy and helping him to take ownership in that area as, like, the leader of our household.

00:29:48.080 And now I'm, like, just the alignment that we have as a family, as a married couple, like, continually working through the different little challenges along the way.

00:29:59.300 And I think that, you know, we look through some of the challenges we've had along the way, and our children are watching this, and we're literally their role models, and we're shaping this next generation.

00:30:22.460 And so there's a lot of weight that comes with that, and I feel like society has let go of that in a sense of, like, we're just, we're going to school, and we're going to sports, and we're just trying to get by.

00:30:36.800 And there's lack of intentionality in the household.

00:30:39.900 And so I think I have a heart to not only work with teenagers, specifically in America, and help them to think through their future better, but now, like, seeing the influence that, you know, the family has in society, it's so important.

00:30:56.600 And so going back to, like, the foundation of the family, husband and wife, and what does that relationship look like, and how can you, you know, work through your challenges together and overcome together so that you grow closer together as you go through life rather than growing apart.

00:31:13.600 And, yeah, just seeing the way society is now, and, like, the attack on the family, and the attack on young people, and their gender, so to say, and, like, the way social media has a role in society, there's a lot that's not good, and that we have to, like, think through and be intentional about, and so, yeah.

00:31:38.340 You said there's a lack of intentional behavior, intentionality in the household.

00:31:44.980 What do you mean?

00:31:46.120 I feel like kind of, like, what I would want to word it is maybe it's just a passiveness.

00:31:54.440 Like, we're just kind of being passive about things, and we're letting things happen versus, like, choosing how we see things happen in the household.

00:32:03.880 We're just being passive and letting our children grow up, letting them see and learn whatever they can learn out in society.

00:32:11.900 You know, children are given iPads and iPhones super young, and they're instantly being, like, told a lot of different compelling things that aren't necessarily filled with truth.

00:32:24.340 And so, I think as a role as a mom and, you know, my husband as a father, you know, we're thinking through that because our children are still young, but our nine-year-old is going to be a teenager in, you know, a few years, and, like, life's going to change.

00:32:42.640 And so, how can we be proactive and not just be passive in his life, but really, like, mentor him and speak into his life and, you know, help him find his career path, so to say, and help him to become a brave and leading young man, even if his nature isn't necessarily a leader.

00:33:04.240 Actually, our eldest is a natural leader, but I'm just saying, like, we'll look at our other boys, and maybe they won't be natural-born leaders, but they're going to have to lead at some point.

00:33:14.240 And so, equipping them to lead and, like, showing them the way more than just by example, but really, like, coming alongside of them and helping them find their way until they truly are ready to spread their wings.

00:33:27.680 And then letting them know that the phone is always there and, like, the arms are always open, so.

00:33:34.380 So, you said that you've got three boys and one daughter.

00:33:39.560 Your oldest son is a natural leader.

00:33:41.120 He's the oldest, not surprised.

00:33:43.280 But that all your boys are going to have to be leaders.

00:33:45.920 What did you mean, and how would you train them to be leaders?

00:33:48.620 Yeah, you know, I just think of the God-given beauty of marriage and matrimony and that relationship, and when done right, like, the man is meant to be the leader.

00:34:05.360 Yes.

00:34:05.580 And I feel, or I think that in society, you know, with the current culture, especially in America, a lot of that's been flipped upside down and disregarded, and it's not serving society, in my opinion.

00:34:22.880 Yeah, how is that working, flipping that upside down?

00:34:25.080 Like, just the woman is maybe, maybe she's not overtly leading the household, but maybe she's manipulating the household, or maybe she's living in the same household, but doing her own thing, and it's just kind of like two separate lives together, but, like, she's doing her own thing and not really necessarily following a lead.

00:34:47.000 Or maybe it's simply that the husband isn't leading, and he's being passive, and that is affecting the household in ways that maybe the husband and wife don't really realize, and it's harmful, and it doesn't serve the household.

00:35:05.940 And it's hard to recognize it at first, but at some point, it will backfire, and I think that's partially why there's so many broken marriages now, but there's so much we could impact there, right?

00:35:20.540 There's so much to society that is broken and lacking wholeness, and, you know, maybe the husband isn't being faithful, or maybe the wife is being, you know, reacting in a way that's pushing him away, and there's just so much to unpack, you know?

00:35:39.760 I'm not, like, a marriage expert, and, you know, I don't know.

00:35:42.860 I think you've identified the big ones, though.

00:35:44.480 Yeah.

00:35:45.360 Actually, it sounds like you are a marriage expert, because you've just described the many varieties of dysfunction.

00:35:50.540 In a household, the passive husband is a much more common thing than it used to be.

00:35:56.180 Yeah, and it's hard, because a lot of, like, what we know is what we've been taught, or what we've, you know, learned from our own parents, and so you could hardly blame the husband for being that way.

00:36:09.740 They maybe never had someone come alongside of them and truly show them the way in a healthy way, or simply having conversations that are intentional around this area.

00:36:20.540 Like, hey, like, these are things you're going to need to do as, like, the leader of your household.

00:36:24.920 Like, just simple conversations that are never held.

00:36:27.740 If you were to give that advice to one of your boys, what would you say?

00:36:30.440 Oh, I mean, from a mother's perspective, it's just knowing that, like, hey, like, you need to provide for your wife mentally, emotionally, and physically.

00:36:41.720 And what that looks like is this, this, this, and this.

00:36:44.600 And if she's reacting in certain ways, it's likely that you're not providing in one of those key points.

00:36:53.240 And so being willing to problem solve as, like, a husband, and, you know, to be honest, like, it's because I've felt this in my own marriage.

00:37:01.400 And having to work through that with my husband and rather than, like, letting, like, the darkness tear us apart and pull us apart, like, our faith has grown us closer.

00:37:19.260 We've had to work through some of our issues.

00:37:21.140 And just seeing him grow as the leader of our household has been really beautiful.

00:37:28.120 And I'm just so grateful.

00:37:30.260 But I've felt like the before and after.

00:37:33.340 So are you saying maybe make it more general?

00:37:36.120 Yeah, I definitely make it more general.

00:37:38.300 But you know what you're talking about.

00:37:40.140 Yeah.

00:37:40.500 Do you think that a woman should encourage, explicitly encourage her husband to be a leader, a better leader? 0.94

00:37:46.880 I think, I mean, yes, for sure we should be encouraging.

00:37:49.920 Like, that is, our role is to be encouraging and cheer on and support and, you know, be supportive.

00:37:59.840 But also to allow that to happen.

00:38:03.180 And sometimes you have to let go of things, too.

00:38:07.180 But I also, like, there's a lot of conversation that comes with that and, like, talking about it and working through it.

00:38:12.920 And it's hard because this is such, like, a deep, deep issue.

00:38:20.360 But it's the core issue.

00:38:21.960 Yeah.

00:38:22.700 And I honestly...

00:38:23.120 If a husband and wife can't get along, then how does society continue, actually? 0.97

00:38:27.000 No, for sure.

00:38:27.800 And that's why I talked, like, when I started, opened up this little can of worms.

00:38:31.820 I was, like, talking about it from the perspective of, like, society.

00:38:36.640 Why is there so much brokenness in society?

00:38:39.300 We've lost our problem-solving abilities.

00:38:42.260 And instead of, like, you know, having those deep, meaningful conversations that are essential over time, not having those conversations, then they just break apart.

00:38:54.680 Okay, so let's be specific.

00:38:56.260 You've got four kids.

00:38:57.500 I have four kids.

00:38:58.000 And so I know what it's like to have, you know, nine through one.

00:39:02.080 And what it really is is just kind of chaotic.

00:39:04.800 There's just a lot going on.

00:39:06.140 A lot of people with immediate needs that must be met.

00:39:08.840 A lot of filth that must be cleaned, et cetera, et cetera.

00:39:11.540 A lot of noise.

00:39:13.080 Hard to have conversations with your spouse under those circumstances you're living in.

00:39:17.800 So how do you have a conversation, like, that's that heavy and that important when you've got all these other demands?

00:39:26.200 Yeah, it's super hard.

00:39:28.700 And that's why, like, I always bring up my health journey.

00:39:32.380 It's not like I went super deep in on that.

00:39:34.920 But realizing that I needed the energy, you know, throughout the whole day, not half of the day, the whole day until I make it to my bed at bedtime.

00:39:44.220 I need the energy to serve my family well.

00:39:47.420 And so I'm very passionate about health because I recognize that, like, the common meme is, like, but first coffee.

00:39:55.020 But first, like, I need some me time to, like, survive this chaos.

00:39:59.640 But we're really not as resilient as we should be because our health isn't being supported in the way that it needs to be to be the best mother, to be the best wife, to be the best daughter in life.

00:40:13.200 And so first supporting yourself so that you can overcome the hardship that comes your way.

00:40:20.900 And so for me, like, you know, I'm not watching Netflix or TV or anything at bedtime.

00:40:29.420 I'm going to bed or I'm having a conversation with my husband.

00:40:33.220 So it's, like, the relationship and my health first before any entertainment.

00:40:40.080 Did you feel like, just to pause on this for a second, because I think it's a big thing, particularly for busy people, people with little kids, it's like, all right, the second they go to bed, I'm just going to zone out in my own world with Netflix or whatever.

00:40:53.800 Why is that bad?

00:40:55.780 Well, you know.

00:40:57.580 Why did you stop doing it?

00:40:58.640 I stopped because I felt like I needed to stop for my own, like, survival.

00:41:06.340 Survival.

00:41:07.440 Like, you know, I do try to find, you know, a 20, 30 minute, sometimes hour and a half window for myself in the day, which that looks like surfing or getting a little movement or going on a walk or laying in my bed praying or doing something just by myself for a quick minute.

00:41:25.500 But there's, like, so much time that is wasted, whether it's scrolling on social media or watching TV.

00:41:34.260 It's very consumeristic.

00:41:36.520 And I want to create and I want to build and make beautiful.

00:41:44.900 And to me, consuming doesn't allow for that as much.

00:41:49.960 You know, when I'm consuming, I'm essentially not creating.

00:41:54.920 And so...

00:41:56.000 I knew it would be worth asking you that question, because that's a wonderful answer.

00:41:59.420 When I'm consuming, I'm not creating.

00:42:01.220 Yes.

00:42:01.800 And so for me, you know, we always want to justify our actions.

00:42:06.120 And every now and then, I like to sit down and watch alone.

00:42:10.820 And it's usually with my husband and sometimes with my children.

00:42:13.960 Like, that's the one TV show we watch lately in the last year.

00:42:17.980 But otherwise, I'm not consuming.

00:42:20.560 And, you know, I am on social media, but I try to, like, keep tabs on that and not let it, like, overtake my life.

00:42:26.040 I have it...

00:42:26.920 Typically, I have it on a separate device.

00:42:29.600 Lately, I haven't because I broke my old device phone.

00:42:32.360 But I had to move it off my main phone device because I was, like, needed to control that time, so to say, spent.

00:42:41.080 Like, not randomly scrolling when I didn't necessarily want to.

00:42:45.960 You know, kind of putting some boundaries there.

00:42:48.900 Because, yeah, it became, like, an easy reflex to, like, kill time and space.

00:42:53.920 And so I moved it to a separate device, and that was a game changer for me.

00:42:58.800 Really?

00:42:58.940 I know not everyone can just have a separate extra device.

00:43:01.540 But if you can, and if it is stealing that much of your time, then maybe it's worth investing that extra little chunk if you aren't willing to give it up.

00:43:12.720 But, yeah.

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00:45:36.040 So it sounds like you're, when you said households are not intentional in the way that they make decisions live.

00:45:57.300 Yeah, it's almost like we're more reactive to life rather than proactive.

00:46:02.480 So reacting to what comes our way and just kind of reacting to the time and just doing what we have to do to kind of get by versus like planning and being proactive and saying no to certain things and saying, you know, like choosing what comes in the household and how we use our time and how we converse with one another.

00:46:22.680 And, you know, I think of like the marriage is the foundation of the household.

00:46:27.480 And so being proactive in that relationship and like really working for that rather than letting time kind of turn it into this passive relationship that eventually fizzles out because we weren't proactive in it.

00:46:43.640 And so, yeah, it'd be fun if Adam was here, he could speak to that in his own sense.

00:46:50.260 And I am grateful to God for him every single day.

00:46:53.640 And we've had our own journey of like growing and learning and becoming more proactive and like working through our challenges.

00:47:02.360 One thing I'm struck by is you keep coming back to time, how you spend time.

00:47:09.200 And when you said that homeschooling can be done, a child can be educated to at least the standard of a public school in two hours.

00:47:17.100 And then you said, but for most parents, just like send your kids to school, take them to sports.

00:47:20.740 Because there's like a whole kind of program that families sign up for that they have no control over at all that may or may not be good for their children and they just react to it.

00:47:30.840 But you're instead figuring out how to spend, you know, the other 22 hours of the day with your kids.

00:47:37.240 That's a big change from the way most people live.

00:47:39.540 Yeah, it is a big change.

00:47:41.580 And I think it's because, you know, I was like the last generation to not have social media for most of my childhood.

00:47:55.460 So I remember I got an Instagram about when I was 15 and I had this season where I was highly addicted to it.

00:48:02.940 I would be with all my friends and I would like randomly start scrolling and then I would try to show them stuff.

00:48:08.780 And they're like, we're having fun together.

00:48:10.480 Like, we don't need that.

00:48:12.360 And so I was this last generation to like, I grew up diving into the ocean and swimming with turtles and going surfing and playing kick the can in the yard and filming little movies on a camcorder that were like gory.

00:48:28.740 And we'd put ketchup on my left arm and like we were truly children, like filming horror movies in our backyard because it was hilarious and funny.

00:48:37.600 And like just being really creative.

00:48:39.560 And now I look at this generation and you'll be driving and you'll see kids on the side of the road hunched over looking at devices, waiting for their school bus.

00:48:48.420 Like not full of life, like not full of joy and beauty and passion and creativity, but rather being sent into this society realm that is just passive.

00:49:06.620 It's being creative.

00:49:07.620 It's being, uh, being entertained.

00:49:09.580 It's being consumeristic.

00:49:11.900 It's just lacking this beauty in life that I really like.

00:49:16.860 I look back on my childhood and I love my childhood.

00:49:20.980 You know, I did grow up with amazing parents that, you know, they, they devoted a lot of time.

00:49:26.600 It's just funny because you're famous for being attacked by a shark and losing your arm in your childhood.

00:49:31.880 Yeah.

00:49:32.100 How was your childhood?

00:49:34.060 The best!

00:49:35.300 It was.

00:49:36.560 Well, that's just, it's good.

00:49:38.140 Yeah, it was so amazing.

00:49:40.200 And, you know, the loss of the arm was just like a little speed bump in the road.

00:49:45.560 Like I continued to have like an amazing childhood after I lost my arm.

00:49:49.800 And so now I'm looking at this generation.

00:49:51.920 It feels like you really mean that.

00:49:53.420 Yeah, I do mean that.

00:49:54.560 I loved my childhood, even the, the hardship that I faced, like it created me to be an overcomer, to be an adapter, to be someone who has to work through a challenge in a healthy way.

00:50:07.300 And I did figure that out.

00:50:08.680 I would say for the most part, you know, there's always things we have to unpack at some point or another, but yeah.

00:50:14.840 And now being, fast forward being a mom and I'm like looking at this generation and it's just so vastly different.

00:50:21.300 I will say like I did watch my, I would leave my house at like eight in the morning to go surf.

00:50:27.960 My brothers were gamers.

00:50:29.280 So I would leave the house and like go do a bunch of different things.

00:50:33.600 And then I'd come back like eight hours later and like my brothers hadn't left their spot on the couch.

00:50:39.280 And that also had a huge impact on me.

00:50:41.780 I was like, what are you guys doing?

00:50:43.800 You literally haven't left the couch for like eight hours straight.

00:50:48.080 And I hated seeing that.

00:50:49.980 I think being like a nature lover and someone who like grew up in nature and like found my creativity in waves.

00:50:57.360 Granted, both my brothers were great ocean men as well.

00:51:00.800 They were like really talented on waves.

00:51:02.600 So it wasn't like they were so stuck to the gaming that they didn't go surf.

00:51:06.920 But I saw this like side that I just didn't like.

00:51:10.340 And I was like, there's no way I'm allowing that in my household as I grow up or as I'm raising my children because I want them to be creating.

00:51:18.360 And, you know, I want them to just be super healthy.

00:51:22.380 I think too, like I have like a unique perspective of like being a former professional athlete, really having to push it physically and mentally.

00:51:33.000 And like knowing that I had to support that nutritionally and just through various avenues of health.

00:51:40.040 I now bring that into my household and I'm like, if there's one area in your life as a parent to not be passive, it's like, well, actually, I don't think I can narrow it down to one thing.

00:51:49.860 But it's like your faith and health.

00:51:53.560 Like at least give your children those two things because otherwise society will eat them up. 0.99

00:51:59.460 And there's so much junk out there that will like take them over. 0.64

00:52:02.980 First of all, I feel like a consumerist slug listening to you. 0.53

00:52:07.840 I've never played a video game, but I have wasted a lot of my life now that I think of it.

00:52:13.140 And I'm sorry that I have.

00:52:14.580 But let's just stop with those two things.

00:52:16.840 The two things you said you can give a child or four children are faith and health.

00:52:23.060 So let's just start with faith.

00:52:24.300 How do you do that?

00:52:25.680 Well, I guess you have to go on the journey yourself first.

00:52:31.360 You have to be able to know what you believe.

00:52:35.120 You know, my parents encouraged me to know God at a young age in the Christian faith.

00:52:40.960 And I mentioned earlier, after I lost my arm, I had a peace that I believe only God could have brought like through that season, even though it felt chaotic and upside down and like the most unimaginable happened to me.

00:52:55.840 And I'm a very rare human to have that circumstance.

00:53:00.340 But even in the chaos, I had a sense of peace that God was with me and he was not going to leave my side.

00:53:06.320 And I don't think that he ever did.

00:53:08.180 Like the way I worked through that season was so beautiful and so full of a confidence that I believe only God could have brought.

00:53:16.420 And I'm thankful that, you know, my mom and dad weren't perfect, but they were there for me.

00:53:23.600 And my mom would read the Psalms and Proverbs in particular, because it's very inviting.

00:53:28.180 I like the Proverbs because it unpacks the wisdom of God.

00:53:32.860 Like there's 31 Proverbs.

00:53:34.800 Y'all could read one Proverbs a day and it would be less than five minutes of your day.

00:53:39.560 Could you take five minutes of your day to like read God's word?

00:53:43.120 I think so.

00:53:44.820 And they're amazing.

00:53:46.000 And they, even if you don't believe in God, an atheist could read the Proverbs and come away improved.

00:53:51.980 Yes, be blessed by the Proverbs.

00:53:54.060 But the Proverbs and Psalms was like one thing that my mom did read with me.

00:53:58.220 She would read that and pray with me at bedtime.

00:54:00.820 And that was such a blessing.

00:54:01.920 And I think that's helped sprout my own faith, my own childlike faith that eventually grew into its own as I grew into an adult.

00:54:10.700 And now I want to give my children that.

00:54:12.960 So that if they have something like a shark attack in their life, they're going to be able to work through that with or without mama.

00:54:21.300 Like they'll be able to survive the challenges of this world.

00:54:24.800 They'll be able to see through the lies that are being spoken on a daily basis in our society.

00:54:32.200 They'll be able to see through the lies that aren't going to serve them in their life.

00:54:37.420 And I believe that that's in God's word first and foremost.

00:54:41.860 And so for me, it looks like praying with my children at bedtime and throughout the day.

00:54:47.740 And it's reading the Bible and it's encouraging them in their faith and talking through philosophical ideas that at the end of the day, you can look to God's word and know what is truth.

00:55:00.920 And so I forget your original question, but how do you impart faith and health?

00:55:08.720 Yeah.

00:55:09.000 And then to just like praying for my children, because at the end of the day, it's not me who does their faith.

00:55:14.740 It's God.

00:55:15.860 God will gift you that faith.

00:55:18.060 He will speak into your life.

00:55:19.580 And so to me, the most important thing is to read God's word, because that is the thing that will sharpen them and speak into their life.

00:55:29.860 And it's ultimately the Lord says that that is His word.

00:55:33.820 And when we hear His word, that can work and move in our hearts and minds.

00:55:38.940 And so, and then when it comes to health, like just living out a healthy lifestyle, teaching them what is good and what is not good.

00:55:48.080 And my children know that like, we're not eating red dye five because it's not good for us.

00:55:53.080 So they're choosing not to do that at six and nine already.

00:55:58.240 And they know like, we still have treats.

00:56:00.860 So it's not like they're so deprived that like, they're like, oh my gosh, I need the red dye five because I have this opportunity to have it.

00:56:08.300 Red dye five.

00:56:10.000 Pardon my ignorance.

00:56:11.500 What's red dye five?

00:56:12.920 You know, the red dye that they put in food, but it's not really like food and it's like highly toxic.

00:56:18.080 You need to deep dive that, Tucker.

00:56:20.340 Come on, get your accurate.

00:56:21.600 I don't know if I want to know.

00:56:23.580 It sounds bad though.

00:56:25.220 But like, if you go into the grocery stores now, like majority of the grocery store is not even things we should be consuming.

00:56:33.740 And I know a lot of people are like, well, that's expensive.

00:56:37.900 You know, to a certain extent, it is going to take a little more investment to bring real food into your house.

00:56:45.360 But when you educate yourselves and start to understand why, it becomes an easier decision.

00:56:53.320 And there's a lot of things you can do that are more affordable to just eat real food, basically.

00:57:00.620 What do you serve your kids? 0.95

00:57:01.560 Um, and that's the cool thing is I'm the one with the wallet.

00:57:05.700 So I get to bring what is in the house, my husband and I, of course.

00:57:10.200 And he does half of the grocery shopping.

00:57:12.280 Whoever just is out there picking up the food.

00:57:14.200 Most money in every household is spent by the woman. 1.00

00:57:17.660 She makes those decisions.

00:57:18.980 Yes, yes, yes.

00:57:19.400 So, you know, I'm the one that's choosing what comes into the house.

00:57:23.900 So it's easy to make the household healthy because I'm not going to buy the junk that doesn't serve them and their health in the long run.

00:57:32.640 So, for example, for breakfast, we'll have crepes, pancakes, waffles, or like egg toast.

00:57:39.260 And I'm like blending it in the blender and I'm putting the ingredients in there.

00:57:42.920 And it's all wholesome ingredients and like lots of good eggs.

00:57:47.220 Eggs are such a great way to start your day.

00:57:50.180 My children are fairly like mentally stable.

00:57:53.000 And I think it's because we eat really good.

00:57:55.260 Like we eat clean, healthy foods and they're not like, you know, very rollercoastery in their mental stability.

00:58:04.600 And so I'm seeing it play out in real time.

00:58:07.560 Like, wow, there are really healthy children.

00:58:10.560 Because their sugar levels aren't spiking and crashing.

00:58:13.000 Yeah.

00:58:13.300 And then, you know, it's not even that we don't eat sugar.

00:58:16.960 We're just making sure we're getting enough protein to balance out that glucose.

00:58:21.700 So as long as you're balancing out your diet, you're going to be okay if you have a little treat here and there.

00:58:28.580 But there are a few things we avoid like red dye fives, artificial ingredients, seed oils, a few other things that just aren't really like real foods.

00:58:40.160 And so we just keep it wholesome and real.

00:58:43.120 We eat a lot of your like normal meals, but just the healthy version of it and none of the junk process.

00:58:50.740 And like, you know, we'll stop shop at like Costco, for example, because that's like the one of the only grocery stores we have on our island.

00:58:57.520 And 90% of what's in there, we're not bringing home.

00:59:02.400 So we're choosing to find the good stuff that is wholesome and real.

00:59:06.760 But no Lucky Charms or Mountain Dew?

00:59:08.440 No.

00:59:08.880 So we might have a little root beer here and there, but.

00:59:13.040 Interesting.

00:59:14.120 So all of us have a long mental list of all the things that you should be doing, but you keep putting off, folding your laundry, going to the gym, stop eating Oreos, doing the dishes, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

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00:59:29.740 But it is for a lot of people because it's hard and it takes a lot of time.

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00:59:53.500 Why not?

00:59:54.280 Well, why not?

00:59:54.860 Because it's hard and expensive.

00:59:55.820 But what if it weren't?

00:59:56.740 Then you do it because you want to make sure the people who depend on you are provided for.

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01:00:47.140 That, once again, is policygenius, one word, .com slash Tucker.

01:00:51.280 Um, and then what's your view on kids being outside?

01:01:10.040 Oh, I mean, we have a really unique life growing up in Hawaii.

01:01:14.240 They're in nature all the time.

01:01:16.420 And I will say, if you're struggling in your parenting, it's probably because you just need to get in nature more.

01:01:22.440 Like, any day I feel kind of stressed or overwhelmed in motherhood.

01:01:26.040 I'm like, we're going to the beach, we're going to nature, we're getting out of the house and into, like, just this place where they can be creative and just be grounded again, you know?

01:01:38.360 And so I've found that, like, I definitely thrive as a mother in nature.

01:01:42.440 So I'm trying to, like, find those thriving locations so that we can thrive in life.

01:01:50.820 How much contact do you have with your larger family?

01:01:55.060 Yes.

01:01:55.580 I mean, we have such a beautiful setup.

01:01:57.640 Um, my parents, they live on the same property as us and my, both my older brothers live within a 10 minute drive.

01:02:05.300 And so I got all my nieces and nephews, my brothers, um, we have about 12 or 13 grandkids now, my parents.

01:02:12.720 And so it's just like.

01:02:15.280 And they all live next to each other.

01:02:17.060 Yeah, we're all, like, within 10 minute drive of each other.

01:02:19.540 So it's really easy to get together and, like, help each other, raise each other's children.

01:02:24.760 And my mom is a super grandma.

01:02:27.260 She's so supportive and, like, is truly there for us.

01:02:30.100 And, like, um, you know, if I'm having a rough season in motherhood, which they come and go, you know?

01:02:35.440 Yeah.

01:02:36.040 It's just part of life.

01:02:37.100 I'm like, my mom's there and she's giving me advice.

01:02:40.780 And I'm asking her for advice.

01:02:42.920 And I'm like, how do I get through this, mom?

01:02:45.180 Or on the rare occasion, please take the children before I lose my mind.

01:02:49.860 Um, which isn't very often because I have a great relationship with my children and I am healthy.

01:02:56.460 So it's not like I need that all the time, but it is just a blessing to have that.

01:03:01.140 So just for perspective, because you're famous, I, people might think, well, you know, that you can live that way when you're really rich.

01:03:08.740 But, um, having just been in Hawaii recently, I was reminded it's, I think, the most expensive state.

01:03:13.680 It's one of the hardest places to live.

01:03:15.600 Um, and it doesn't sound like your family's rich.

01:03:20.900 No, I mean, we make decent money and we are a unique situation, but I grew up with five of my best friends from childhood, born and raised in Hawaii.

01:03:31.800 They're now married and have children and almost all of them are homeschooling and they're living a normal, very normal life and they're getting by and they're choosing to live a lifestyle that is different.

01:03:45.540 But they aren't anyone, you know, unique or out there.

01:03:50.860 So that's kind of what I'm saying.

01:03:51.840 It's achievable then.

01:03:52.880 It, you can choose to live a certain lifestyle, you know, and I think the common thing in America too is like, we want to live above our means.

01:04:03.000 So figuring out what is your means and are you living within your means and what adaptations can you make so that you could make your dreams come true if you have certain dreams, so to say.

01:04:16.380 And if you choose to not go down that route, at least being intentional with the time that you do have with your children.

01:04:24.100 So when they come home from school, having that energy and that mental capability to be intentional, to give them eye contact, to give them that quality time.

01:04:35.840 I feel like specifically from junior high to high school, it's like the most pivotal years besides obviously childhood's pretty pivotal and their worldviews are pretty formed, very young.

01:04:49.680 But there's these pivotal years where parents get very little time with their children because they're in school, they're in sports.

01:04:59.700 Then they come home and they have homework and random chores maybe, and the parents barely get that time with their children.

01:05:09.540 And so obviously my children aren't in those years, but I'm thinking about those years and how I'm going to approach it.

01:05:16.660 And I don't want it to be mundane or unintentional.

01:05:21.440 Like I want my husband to have quality time with his son so that his sons have a good grasp on the world and what they're getting themselves into as they become adults, you know?

01:05:33.860 And so.

01:05:34.720 What do you think they're getting themselves into as they become adults?

01:05:37.680 No, really.

01:05:38.600 I mean, you've got three boys and.

01:05:40.540 Yeah.

01:05:41.020 I mean, there's a lot out there, but I hope that they'll, you know, find a wife pretty young and be good leaders of their household.

01:05:49.520 And I want to encourage them and like help them find their way so that they can afford to be a husband and a provider.

01:05:59.200 So working with them to like figure out what their talents are and like what sort of work they could do to survive and not just survive, but thrive.

01:06:08.040 And to say no to the temptations of the world and to respect women and to, you know, choose a life that is honorable and just and not just go with the flow of like what society is currently at.

01:06:26.940 And I think as a male in particular, there's a lot of temptation around women and pornography and none of that really serves society.

01:06:35.400 It's become so normalized, you know, you look, you know, I grew up in Hawaii and like it's the most uncovered area of the world.

01:06:47.560 Like people are literally walking around and in close to nothing on a regular basis.

01:06:52.440 And but I feel like now young men in particular, it's like there's social media and it's just there's so many dark holes they can get caught up in.

01:07:02.540 And even gaming, like I am really against gaming.

01:07:06.020 I haven't even really talked about that publicly, but there's no way I'm bringing that into my household because I want my boys creating, becoming like building up their skills in life.

01:07:18.500 Like I want them to have, you know, mentor under a plumber, electrician, like mechanic, have these basic skills so that they're not completely helpless when they, you know, start living on their own.

01:07:31.560 Like just basic life skills that instead they could be gaming.

01:07:36.860 And where is that going to get them?

01:07:39.280 And then when they have to start living a real life and they run into challenge, what are they going to do?

01:07:46.080 Are they going to problem solve or are they going to just go zone out in gaming?

01:07:50.300 There's a lot of husbands that aren't showing up because they're busy gaming or pornographing.

01:07:56.380 And so equipping our boys to say no and to say yes to the good and beautiful things that they could be doing in life and to learn how to provide and serve and protect.

01:08:07.980 You've got such an interesting way of presenting what you think.

01:08:13.580 So you have a very gentle affect and calm and laid back.

01:08:16.720 But what you're saying is like really radical as compared to, I mean, I think every word you've said is true just for the record, but it's so different.

01:08:26.400 It's so different.

01:08:27.580 You live on an outer island in the farthest away state out of 50 in a pretty rural state, I think.

01:08:33.260 Like, so maybe you don't know how radical what you're saying.

01:08:37.200 Do you have a sense of how different how you live is from how many other people live?

01:08:42.380 I mean, I've started to realize that in raising children of like trying to find good friends for my children and just like some of the boundaries that we are setting on behalf of our children and trying to like, you know, what, who can they play with?

01:09:00.020 What households are good for them to be in?

01:09:02.880 And it's, I think it's going to get even harder in the teenage years.

01:09:06.580 So it sounds like you think you have the right to make those decisions as a parent.

01:09:09.900 Oh, a hundred percent.

01:09:11.180 Like, I think that if I didn't lead, guide and protect them, like nobody else will.

01:09:20.200 Yes.

01:09:21.740 No, I mean, I couldn't agree more.

01:09:23.680 And don't we have an understanding that the brain isn't fully developed till 25?

01:09:29.120 Yes.

01:09:29.460 For males, I think it is.

01:09:31.920 Mid-30s for males.

01:09:32.720 Somewhere around there.

01:09:33.660 So why would you like hold back protecting them and helping serve and guide and lead them in a healthy direction?

01:09:42.900 I think of myself as super healthy.

01:09:45.240 And so, of course, I'm going to like help lead and guide them along the way and not like just let them hopefully float out there and figure it out.

01:09:54.640 That is kind of the strategy for many.

01:09:56.720 But even to the extent of like, hey, you're invited to question me, son, like question what I'm saying, question what your auntie or uncle is saying, ask questions, and don't be so passive that everything mama and dada says is, you know, the end all, say all.

01:10:15.600 So, to the extent of like, yes, you respect your mother and father, but you're still allowed to ask questions and have your own opinion.

01:10:25.060 But, you know, I do see it in my nine-year-old how much he looks up to his dad and me and how he's willing to like, he knows that when mama says like, don't eat red dye five, it's because she loves him and she's protecting him from eating these neurotoxins that will give him ADHD.

01:10:48.140 And he doesn't have that currently, so we don't want him to get that, but he could have it if he keeps eating those over and over and over again.

01:10:56.860 And so, he trusts me in that.

01:10:59.020 I explain why.

01:11:00.040 I'm not just like, nope, you can't have that.

01:11:02.340 I explain why he can't have that and why I don't want him.

01:11:05.860 And you know what?

01:11:06.640 If he ate it once or twice a year, I'm not making a huge deal out of it.

01:11:10.640 I'm just like, hey, like we're not bringing that into our household at least.

01:11:14.920 How are you going to navigate marijuana?

01:11:18.140 Ooh, I mean, for me, it was actually a really easy one to navigate as a teenager because I think like the way my mom might have talked about it and then even in the public school was like, I was highly athletic driven.

01:11:35.680 And so, I could see that it was a common theme that people lost their drive in life with marijuana in particular.

01:11:46.040 And then even I've had a mother-daughter mentorship program and one of our calls is focused on drugs.

01:11:51.920 And the coolest thing is we'll show the girls the brain without marijuana and alcohol and the brain with and they look very different. 0.94

01:12:02.100 Like, it's very noticeable how healthier, like we had a brain specialist kind of explain the differences and you could see it with your own eye.

01:12:11.760 And so, that was really cool to me as an adult who's chosen not to like do marijuana or anything like that.

01:12:20.260 But just talking about it from my perspective of health.

01:12:23.940 So, that's why, you know, I said earlier, like encouraging your children in faith and understanding health is so important.

01:12:30.260 And talking about, like, I talk about, hey, you know, if you go through a challenging season in your life, do you want to go to alcohol or do you want to go to God?

01:12:41.080 Like, what's going to be your strength?

01:12:43.640 What's going to serve you and your family?

01:12:45.980 Is alcohol going to serve your family or is God?

01:12:49.160 Like, what's going to lead you forward and help you to overcome and adopt and persevere through the challenges that will inevitably come your way?

01:12:57.400 Certainly not alcohol and drugs, which a lot of society is going to that because we essentially aren't happy with our life or we're looking for an outlet that numbs some of the pain.

01:13:14.420 And so, you know, working with our children to face their hardship and to work through their pain and to have a plan for when that comes, if they don't have any of that prior to leaving the household, like having a good plan.

01:13:31.540 Like, what are you going to do when you face hardship?

01:13:33.580 Are you going to go to these outlets or are you going to come back to mom and dad or someone who's respectable in your life to help you work through it?

01:13:41.400 Because there's certainly been seasons in my life where I'm like, why didn't I go to someone to help me through that?

01:13:49.140 And I tried to navigate it by myself and it sucked and it was hard and it was awful.

01:13:55.060 And I'm like, why didn't I ask for help?

01:13:58.500 And I just like, that's not what I want for my children.

01:14:03.360 I want them to go and ask someone for help, whether it's me or not, like that's okay.

01:14:07.420 But I hope it's me and if it's not me, like they're going to have a few other people in their life that I'm going to be like, this would be a great person.

01:14:14.580 If you don't, for some reason, don't feel comfortable talking to me, go to this person and like have them spend time with that person in their late teen years so that they have a relationship that's, you know, encouraging.

01:14:27.780 Why do you think, this is a pretty common human experience, but people have problems that they could probably sort out quickly if they articulated them in front of somebody else, but they don't.

01:14:41.880 Why?

01:14:42.320 Oh my gosh.

01:14:44.380 I feel like there's a lot of reasons why.

01:14:47.680 And I think, you know, that's why earlier in our conversation, I talked about working through some of my issues in motherhood is because, you know, I think sometimes we get closed in life or we aren't open to teaching or wisdom or, you know, respecting our elders.

01:15:12.320 It's almost like there's this untalked about level of being where we have pride and we just think we can do it ourselves.

01:15:24.060 And I feel like that's almost growing even more now with social media because they're like, oh, I can just Google what to do.

01:15:29.820 Rather than ask someone respectable in your life, like, hey, like, do you think this is a good life decision?

01:15:36.460 Like, should I go down this route?

01:15:38.080 Um, so for me, I don't know, I'm kind of going about this answer in a long way, but I'm now asking three different people for advice.

01:15:49.820 If I have something that feels overwhelming or challenging, I mean, I'm going to the three different people and trying to see if it will align for them.

01:15:58.100 If their advice to me will align or, you know, like, just having someone respectable to speak into my life over challenging subjects that feel like I need help in this area.

01:16:09.760 So you're approaching your own life with humility.

01:16:11.960 You're acknowledging that you don't know every answer to every question.

01:16:16.420 Yeah.

01:16:17.000 And, you know, if it feels like something really hard, just not being afraid to ask for help.

01:16:22.560 And, you know, maybe there's this level of, like, that distancing in junior high and high school where, like, you're almost, like, separating from your parents too early.

01:16:35.860 Yes.

01:16:36.340 And then you go off to college and adult life and you're like, well, I don't really have that relationship with my mom and dad, so I'm not going to ask them for help.

01:16:44.080 Or we didn't work through some of our issues as in that relationship through the high school years.

01:16:50.140 And so there's not that level of, like, you can come to me, like, I'm here for you and I'll, like, accept you no matter what the challenge is.

01:16:57.900 And so trying to keep that relationship open and just communicative so that when the real challenges come, there is an openness and, like, they'll be willing to ask for help.

01:17:10.840 And obviously there's different characters and, you know, I can see already, like, trying to raise the different characters in my children.

01:17:18.920 I'm like, they're very different and it's going to require, like, some problem solving or adaptability to their different, you know, personality and character.

01:17:28.400 And so.

01:17:28.900 Yeah, genetics is real.

01:17:30.060 Yeah.

01:17:30.300 Yeah.

01:17:30.640 Kids are different.

01:17:31.880 So you said you have a mentorship program where you're dealing with young people who are not your children.

01:17:39.120 Yeah.

01:17:39.340 What do you notice about them?

01:17:42.240 What?

01:17:43.840 Yeah.

01:17:44.560 So I've always just had a heart for teenage girls and maybe it's because of what I faced at such a young age.

01:17:51.180 Like, when I lost my arm, I was 13 years old and it's such a pivotal season going into those teenage years.

01:17:57.780 But then there was this one woman who would pick up my girlfriends and I and speak into our lives. 1.00

01:18:03.640 She mentored us and encouraged us in relationships in particular.

01:18:07.540 She, like, like, equipped us to enter into the dating realm and to look for a husband in a healthy way. 0.68

01:18:15.520 And this woman wasn't, like, super appealing, so to say.

01:18:20.700 Like, I would say the fact that she, like, brought chocolates, brought chocolate and, like, brought us to the beach was, like, the lure, so to say.

01:18:28.560 But she was willing to just show up. 0.95

01:18:30.900 And, like, even if she wasn't, like, super cool, you know, like, as a teenager, you're looking for those cool people to hang out with.

01:18:38.440 She wasn't, like, super cool, but she, like, spoke into her lives and she made the most of what she had.

01:18:43.900 And she made such an impact in my life.

01:18:46.600 And so I just feel like I've been given a unique platform to speak into young people's lives.

01:18:52.000 And I'm very passionate about, like, social media as well.

01:18:57.700 Like, the big thing I've noticed is the girls who, you know, I'm working with girls between, like, 9 to 18.

01:19:05.440 And they're alongside of their mothers.

01:19:08.420 But the girls who are highly active on social media, like, you can just tell right away. 1.00

01:19:13.960 Like, they dress more promiscuous.

01:19:16.360 They're very aware of their being.

01:19:18.620 You know, they're very, like, aware of just how they look and how they carry themselves.

01:19:26.200 And it's almost like they've got something to prove.

01:19:29.460 They're trying to be cool or, like, you know, be accepted in a certain way.

01:19:34.260 And I just, I really just noticed a vast difference in the girls that are active on social media and the girls that are not.

01:19:42.320 And, you know, either way, they're very lovable.

01:19:46.020 Who's happier?

01:19:47.580 Definitely the girls that are not active on social media.

01:19:50.440 Oh, it's that obvious.

01:19:51.860 Have less issues.

01:19:52.440 Yes.

01:19:53.100 They have a lot less issues.

01:19:55.860 And, yeah, it's definitely really interesting.

01:19:59.840 And there have been extreme cases where we've had some girls who are really struggling in their life.

01:20:05.960 And their mom's like, we've already done everything.

01:20:07.780 We've done counseling.

01:20:08.740 We've done, like, drugs to try to, like, calm them down or, like, help them not be depressed.

01:20:13.300 And it's just not working.

01:20:14.620 And so they're coming into this program like, let's just, like, try it.

01:20:18.360 You never know.

01:20:19.040 And I think there's just something about the community element and, like, talking about the truth and the challenges of the world.

01:20:25.440 So we're talking about all these different topics, dating, drugs, conflict resolution, faith.

01:20:31.520 All the different topics that I'm, like, naturally passionate about and even, like, health and stuff.

01:20:38.880 And, like, just trying to equip the girls. 0.99

01:20:40.580 But at the end of the day, like, the young girls might be really excited to see Bethany, like, as their mentor.

01:20:46.620 But the goal is not me.

01:20:48.140 It's their mom.

01:20:49.380 So their mom's coming in and doing it with their daughter.

01:20:52.660 And it's about that mother-daughter relationship.

01:20:54.680 Because I remind the girls, I'm like, hey, girls, like, I'm not going to be there for you when the going gets rough.

01:20:59.920 But your mom is.

01:21:01.080 Like, she's the one that will die for you and, like, do whatever it takes to be there for you in your tough seasons.

01:21:07.700 And so maybe you don't see eye to eye with her on everything.

01:21:10.860 And maybe you have a little sandpaper of a relationship.

01:21:13.360 But your mom loves you so much.

01:21:15.860 And so it's just kind of about bringing back that family unit and making that be the focal point of the mentorship experience program.

01:21:26.200 And so it's just been, yeah, it's really interesting, though, to unpack, like, the difference in the children who are being exposed a lot more and then the ones who are not.

01:21:36.980 And to me, it feels a little devastating because I'm like, oh, I had such a good childhood.

01:21:41.740 Like, you girls should be, like, adventuring in nature and filming, like, cute little, like, funny movies on a little camcorder.

01:21:50.360 And instead, we got, like, TikTok dancing and, like, just, like, endless media scrolling and TV watching.

01:21:58.060 And, you know, I don't want to be so negative because I know there's beautiful moments in everyone's lives.

01:22:04.580 But I just feel like there's so much more to be had when we're creating and being artistic and letting our strengths and talents be used and pursuing, like, the good and beautiful things in life.

01:22:21.960 And having, like, really open, like, loving relationships and quality time.

01:22:26.640 And one thing I'm working with my children is, like, teaching them, like, I try to look in their eyes.

01:22:31.840 Like, I've met a lot of people and it's, like, we almost are losing eye contact.

01:22:36.040 Like, something as simple as that.

01:22:37.440 Like, trying to look people in the eye.

01:22:39.420 And starting in your own household, like, once you start to be aware of it, you're like, whoa, like, they haven't looked me in the eye today.

01:22:46.420 And so you have to, but, like, I have to lead my children to be able to look me in the eye.

01:22:52.380 And so, like, making sure I'm not so busy that I can't, like, slow down and, like, check them out and, like, give them that eye contact that they deserve and that, like, quality time.

01:23:02.140 So one thing I love to do with my six-year-old in particular, and he's super sweet, but he has, like, this interesting personality that, you know, it feels a little harder to get through to.

01:23:13.200 And so one thing I like to do with him is play Rummy cards.

01:23:16.060 So he's only six and he's doing so amazing.

01:23:19.160 Like, he beats me all the time at Rummy.

01:23:21.320 And, like, he'll be, like, calculating how much points he has versus how much points I have throughout the game.

01:23:27.120 And, like, this is, like, one way that I like to connect with him that is really sweet and there's nothing else going on.

01:23:33.100 I mean, obviously, there's little sissy trying to steal the cards, but for the most part, it's just him and me having this moment to connect.

01:23:41.520 You're not checking Instagram during the games.

01:23:42.940 No, phone's set aside and it's just, like, him and I, my six-year-old, who actually can play cards really well.

01:23:51.120 And, like, he's doing math at the same time, but he's, like, connecting with mom.

01:23:55.260 A lot of bad things going on in the world that, honestly, not many of us can have an effect on.

01:24:01.140 Rising crime, failing schools, a tanking economy.

01:24:05.020 What can you do about that?

01:24:06.280 Well, not a lot, but you can get your own house in order.

01:24:10.020 And, above all, you can spend money with merchants, with companies that support your values, that are making this a better country and not a worse country.

01:24:18.580 But how do you find those companies?

01:24:20.760 Well, that's where Public Square comes in.

01:24:23.120 Public Square actively curates the best products from America's small businesses to help families lead happier, healthier, more productive, and connected lives.

01:24:31.180 That means fewer errands to big box stores, less searching to find wholesome alternatives to the garbage being offered in our culture, and more quality time spent with people you love most.

01:24:41.700 If you want to fix your country, you've got to strengthen yourself and your home, and you need to spend your dollars where they do good and not bad.

01:24:49.440 Rebuilding America takes place one small change at a time, with wise spending.

01:24:55.220 Supporting people who support your family, not funding people who hate you.

01:24:59.540 If you want to do that, PublicSquare.com is the answer.

01:25:03.120 PublicSquare.com

01:25:04.720 How rare are your views where you live?

01:25:24.460 I mean, that's interesting.

01:25:26.300 Yeah, I think it's fairly rare.

01:25:28.100 You know, like, one thing, for example, like, my children are looking out the window when we drive.

01:25:35.060 So, that's becoming more and more rare.

01:25:37.840 Like, children don't stare out the window.

01:25:39.600 They don't have that moment to be bored.

01:25:41.400 I'm like, I grew up staring out the window and looking at the clouds, like, and, like, looking for dead animals on the side of the road, you know?

01:25:49.500 This is, like, the life I had.

01:25:51.040 I'm like, you boys can do the same.

01:25:52.440 I'm not giving them my phone to entertain them while we drive, even if they're being a little fussy or whiny.

01:25:58.520 Like, it's just not an option.

01:26:00.140 Like, I don't allow that.

01:26:01.260 And so, we'll turn on stories.

01:26:05.900 I'll let them pitch in.

01:26:08.200 Sometimes they get to pick the music.

01:26:10.540 So, like, my six-year-old, he either wants country music or he wants piano.

01:26:15.060 That's his top two choices.

01:26:16.640 And so, I'll give them ownership sometimes, like, or take turns with, sometimes we're listening to mama music.

01:26:22.460 Sometimes we're listening to baby music if the baby is fussing.

01:26:25.560 And then sometimes we're listening to, like, classical piano or a story on the podcast, audiobook.

01:26:32.200 And so, that's an example of, like, yeah, we're using technology, but we're not, like, giving our phones to, like, shush our children, so to say.

01:26:40.980 And it's interesting because it doesn't really ever cross my mind to need to, like, quiet my children with a device.

01:26:48.420 Like, because we just have things established and they're already, you know, doing their own thing.

01:26:54.660 How do you handle long flights?

01:26:57.120 Oh, we let them watch movies on long airplane rides and they're stoked and they're, like, getting their movie time.

01:27:03.640 But then, like, it makes them look forward to traveling.

01:27:07.000 And I feel okay with that because it's, like, we're not consuming all the time and it's not, like, the 20th movie they've watched this week.

01:27:15.320 Do your neighbor, so you said you had five friends from childhood who all kind of wound up living like you?

01:27:20.060 Yeah, I mean, yeah, very similar.

01:27:22.420 But we're all kind of scattered throughout the island.

01:27:24.440 Sometimes we'll meet up at the beach, but we don't see each other as much as we'd like.

01:27:28.500 But do you stick out in your community?

01:27:31.860 I think I do.

01:27:33.140 But also, I would say a lot of people in Hawaii are spending, like, we live to live.

01:27:38.900 We don't work to live.

01:27:40.560 Like, we're all going to the beach as soon as we're not working.

01:27:44.460 Everyone's, like, checking the surf forecasts and scheduling their life around the surf forecasts.

01:27:50.760 I mean, if they can.

01:27:52.140 Sometimes, like, you gotta work when you gotta work.

01:27:54.260 But I feel like people in Hawaii, my friend actually brought this up the other day.

01:27:58.740 Like, we very much so live to live.

01:28:00.980 And we're going to, like, enjoy the sunset a lot and, like, you know, get out in nature because it's so easy to access out there.

01:28:11.320 But there's also, like...

01:28:12.600 I've seen people live in beautiful places and never go outside.

01:28:15.380 Yeah, true.

01:28:16.020 That's probably true.

01:28:17.160 Yeah.

01:28:17.660 So, I don't know.

01:28:18.860 I try not to, like, pay attention too much to what everyone else is doing.

01:28:22.280 But you're not considered, like, a freak or people are nice to you at the grocery store.

01:28:25.500 Yeah, no.

01:28:26.260 Like, it's very, like, low-key.

01:28:28.700 I mean, I would say Hawaii has a lot of pocket of, like, you know, people living outside of the box.

01:28:35.660 Yeah, but you're...

01:28:37.160 I mean, how is Christianity viewed?

01:28:40.500 I feel like that's an interesting one.

01:28:42.840 And it feels like it's changing right now with, like, kind of this new world religion of, like, the Pride LGBTQ. 0.63

01:28:52.840 Plus, whatever movement.

01:28:56.560 You said the acronym wrong, and I'm glad.

01:29:00.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:01.240 So, anyway.

01:29:02.500 But I feel like there's, like, this new surgence of a new religion, and it's almost, like, anti-religion.

01:29:08.760 So, it doesn't matter what your religion is.

01:29:11.240 It's, like, against all the religion, so to say.

01:29:14.080 Unless the religion tends to be a little more, like, relaxed, so to say.

01:29:22.460 It's definitely anti-Christian. 0.92

01:29:24.240 And I think because it feels attacked by Christianity, because there's moral ground in Christianity.

01:29:32.360 Like, the Bible says, thou shall not lie.

01:29:35.360 But then it has all the other Ten Commandments.

01:29:37.400 And when you look at someone's life who maybe lives more in that fashion, they bring a lot less pain into the world.

01:29:47.080 You know, when you're lying, killing, stealing, like, that's not good for the world.

01:29:51.800 Yeah.

01:29:52.680 And so, like, there's so much beauty within it, but people are rejecting it because there's a few of the things, like, you should be faithful.

01:30:01.280 Before you're even married, you should be faithful.

01:30:04.300 And society does not want to be faithful.

01:30:07.680 And so, that is a, it's a, it feels unachievable and unapproachable because society is normalized being unfaithful.

01:30:17.520 And so, people feel defensive when they feel like they are being told what to do.

01:30:23.860 But yet, someone who lives out a faithful life is such a blessing, right?

01:30:29.260 They, like, you know, when you meet a married couple who've been married 50 years, you're like, that is incredible.

01:30:36.920 Like, that's so beautiful.

01:30:38.340 And they've been faithful and they've chosen to love and serve whoever they committed their life to, their spouse.

01:30:46.180 And that is such a blessing in society.

01:30:48.820 And it's likely that their children are more stable and healthy in society.

01:30:54.440 And so, I just get so stoked on that.

01:30:57.900 Like, I'm like, when I meet the couple that's been married 50 years, I'm like, give me advice.

01:31:02.520 Tell me, like, what should I do?

01:31:04.040 Like, how can I achieve what you've achieved, you know?

01:31:07.040 And what do they say?

01:31:08.820 I mean, the answers are very different, but I'm just always willing to, like, ask them for advice.

01:31:14.660 I can't think of any big ones, right?

01:31:18.940 I can't think of any standouts.

01:31:19.880 Well, if you could give advice.

01:31:21.540 You haven't been married 50 years, but you have a successful marriage.

01:31:24.000 We're at 11 years, and I would say the biggest thing in our relationship is truly the grace of God and looking to God to be the author and finisher of our faith, to understand that, like, His grace is sufficient for me.

01:31:44.460 And when I understand that, then I know His grace is sufficient for my husband.

01:31:52.200 And if God is sufficient for my husband, then that then leads me to be gracious on my husband and vice versa, him on me.

01:32:01.420 And that is the foundation of a healthy marriage.

01:32:04.280 And no matter what you're going to go through and, like, how hard the seasons may be, you're going to be able to work through it because your foundation is not in yourself and your ability to be the perfect husband or wife, but your foundation is in the ability to trust in God.

01:32:20.840 Or not even the ability, but to allow God to work through your life.

01:32:26.240 And so, that would be my number one advice.

01:32:29.980 Oh, that's great advice.

01:32:30.660 So, you said that you see the rise of a global religion.

01:32:35.900 Are you ever confronted by people who believe in that religion?

01:32:41.120 Yeah, I mean...

01:32:42.840 And how do you respond?

01:32:45.080 Yeah, it's interesting because I've just been trying to unpack it so I can better understand it.

01:32:52.340 And it's being promoted under the lens of being loving, right?

01:32:59.080 Right.

01:32:59.340 To be loving towards all those people, but to everyone around you, regardless of their views.

01:33:08.080 And so, it's almost disregarding having an opinion or a worldview or, you know, a belief system.

01:33:15.840 It's, like, disregarding having any kind of, like, moral foundation.

01:33:20.000 And that you have to love and be accepting of whatever they want to do, regardless of how destructive it may be.

01:33:27.900 And so, you know, to me, like, I think faithfulness is essential for a healthy society.

01:33:36.180 And yet, people don't want to embrace that.

01:33:41.960 They want to be free, so to say, and, like, do whatever they want with whoever they want at any point in time in their life.

01:33:51.400 And what they don't understand is that that is painful in the long run.

01:33:56.880 And to not have a relationship that is stable and faithful and committed and enduring, that is hard and that is painful.

01:34:07.980 And yet, society just wants to promote that as if it's a good, like, you know, do whatever makes you happy in the moment.

01:34:16.880 And so, the way I view it is, like, to be unfaithful is not good.

01:34:24.760 It's not healthy for a strong society.

01:34:29.040 It doesn't lead for, you know, confident children when their parents are, you know, breaking apart.

01:34:37.680 And, you know, maybe you have already, maybe you've already hit that point in life where you've split from your partner.

01:34:45.880 It became unbearable.

01:34:47.580 It was painful.

01:34:48.820 And I wouldn't go so far as to say, like, God's grace is not sufficient for you.

01:34:52.960 Like, His grace can be sufficient for you no matter how awful things may be.

01:34:57.320 And He can work in your children's lives.

01:34:59.520 So, I'm not, like, saying, you know, but I just think that if society can strive to be faithful, like, that alone could flip society on its head to be more beautiful

01:35:14.720 and more just full of life and passion and purpose and, you know, I think most of society, when they see a married couple who are in good relations with one another 50 years later, like, everyone's celebrating.

01:35:33.540 Like, everyone's cheering that on and, like, in awe of that because it is hard and it is hard to make it that long, I think.

01:35:41.420 And it's already seen to be, you know, you look at the divorce rates, so to say, and it's super hard out there.

01:35:49.440 People aren't making it very far.

01:35:51.900 Yeah.

01:35:52.120 I think that's probably harder than sticking together long run.

01:35:56.000 Yes, totally.

01:35:57.480 So, tell me about Brave Books.

01:36:00.960 So, I feel like the last few years has been crazy, starting with 2020.

01:36:06.720 Like, I would say I was pretty passive when it came to, like, the worldviews, so to say.

01:36:12.060 Like, I had my worldviews and I had things I wanted to live out in my own life, but I wasn't, like, hyper aware of, like, what's going on in society.

01:36:20.920 And then when, like...

01:36:21.960 Right.

01:36:22.820 I can't overstate.

01:36:24.040 I've been to where you live, so I know how far away you live.

01:36:26.400 Yeah, and so then 2020, 2021 hit and, like, all this craziness started happening and, like, you can kind of start to see through, like, what is actually going on here.

01:36:38.280 Because I don't think it's as simple as a virus being, you know...

01:36:42.260 Oh, you don't.

01:36:43.680 Just emerge from a wet market organically and...

01:36:46.480 No.

01:36:47.500 Yeah.

01:36:48.040 So, so then, you know, I just started to realize, like, who I partner with and where I put my money matters.

01:36:57.480 And as a professional athlete, like, you're given all kinds of deals that, you know, could make you money, you know?

01:37:05.680 Yeah.

01:37:05.880 And, but they're not necessarily, like, good things, you know?

01:37:11.060 Like, for example, I've had a professional career in surfing and I never took a deal with an energy drink because I just don't believe in those.

01:37:21.260 And that was an area where I drew the line because I didn't think it was healthy and it's not something I want to promote to anyone, let alone children who look up to me.

01:37:30.540 What if it was Mountain Dew Berry Blast?

01:37:35.400 No Mountain Dew Berry Blast either.

01:37:37.840 Okay.

01:37:38.440 Just what?

01:37:38.960 I'm trying to find your red lines.

01:37:40.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:37:41.140 You know, I do drink coffee, so I might have promoted a little coffee drink here and there.

01:37:44.760 Yeah, I love coffee.

01:37:47.080 You know, but I'm promoting smoothies and I'm promoting, like, finding your fuel and energy and food and taking care of yourself and, like, just living a healthy lifestyle.

01:37:56.880 But fast forward 2020 and all that chaos hits and I'm like, where, what are we promoting?

01:38:03.660 And so I get this opportunity to, I get Brave Books emailing me and being like, hey, do you want to write a children's book with us?

01:38:10.760 And I'm like, oh yeah, let's go.

01:38:12.400 But this company is standing against a lot of the societal norms and they're trying to build the family.

01:38:19.960 They're trying to build up children to have solid identities, to say no to the lies of the world, to be aware of, like, the challenges that they're going to face as they grow about life.

01:38:33.520 And now I'm reading them to my children.

01:38:35.780 I'm like, this is the raddest book ever to be able to read my children to sleep.

01:38:40.740 When you say something, for people not from Hawaii, when you say something that's the raddest book ever, that's good.

01:38:44.960 Good. Epic. Solid.

01:38:46.580 So, like, for example, one of my favorite Brave Books, besides my own, I mean, like, I like my book, but I'm just not like that.

01:38:54.800 But it's about this little boy who has to save his sister and he has to, like, go on this crazy journey to find this ice flower.

01:39:03.340 And if he drips the little ice flower on her lips, she'll survive the pokey that she stepped on that's going to poison her.

01:39:11.100 And so he's having to, like, basically become a man and, like, save his little sister.

01:39:17.480 And it's, like, the sweetest little story.

01:39:19.460 And now my three-year-old's like, I'm going to go find an ice flower for my baby sister.

01:39:24.200 And it's, like, it's computing in his head, like, the life that he should live is to save the young woman in his life and to protect her and to, you know, face his fears on her behalf.

01:39:39.620 And he goes on this, like, gnarly journey and he's crying at one point.

01:39:43.280 And it's just this rad little book.

01:39:45.400 I think it was called The Son of Truth.

01:39:47.920 No, no, it wasn't The Son of Truth, but that's another one that's really good, too.

01:39:51.500 But anyway, I'm like, my agent's like, hey, are you sure you want to partner with this company?

01:39:55.780 Because when's all the big corporational sort of companies see you partnering with Brave Books?

01:40:00.620 They're not likely going to want to partner with you as much anymore.

01:40:05.140 And I'm like, oh, my gosh.

01:40:06.780 It felt like I was, like, walking off a cliff.

01:40:09.140 And I think I kind of did walk off some sort of cliff.

01:40:11.760 But, like, it felt like a good one.

01:40:13.600 A good cliff.

01:40:15.040 Yeah.

01:40:15.760 And then, like, so I partnered with Brave Books.

01:40:19.320 I wrote my book, Surfing Past Fear.

01:40:21.380 It's a really sweet story inspiring children to overcome their fears.

01:40:24.620 And then, about nine months later, the World Surf League starts allowing males to compete in the female division.

01:40:35.860 And I'm the only one walking off that cliff saying, no, like, this is not okay.

01:40:43.220 And we're not about to allow males to compete against.

01:40:47.540 I'm not about to have males competing against me willingly.

01:40:50.420 And that was a whole nother just step of faith in that someone's got to say no.

01:40:59.900 And nobody else did?

01:41:02.820 Literally, I don't think one female.

01:41:05.600 Maybe, like, a couple lesser known, like, kind of, like, not very vocal girls.

01:41:12.020 Like, I think there was a lot of women not for it. 1.00

01:41:14.040 But the unfortunate thing was the World Surf League had all the athletes say, like, hey, you're not allowed to say anything deemed derogatory or negative towards the World Surf League.

01:41:25.640 Or we will fine you and disqualify you from competing.

01:41:31.120 So shut up and obey. 0.99

01:41:32.520 Yeah.

01:41:32.940 And so that was, like, the contract they had signed the December prior to that year.

01:41:39.280 And they literally get an email.

01:41:42.180 They didn't even get a vocal warning, like, hey, males are not allowed to compete in the female division as long as their hormones reach this certain level. 0.96

01:41:50.020 And they didn't even get a warning.

01:41:51.940 They just get an email in the inbox.

01:41:54.260 And I'm like, oh, no way.

01:41:56.540 This is not okay.

01:41:58.280 And I'm not for this.

01:42:00.360 And I think I lost some major deals that year.

01:42:03.760 I think I had had a deal on the table with Ford.

01:42:08.940 And that never happened.

01:42:10.900 And I think it was around that time when I was like, nope, I'm not for this.

01:42:14.860 And I, like, made a public statement.

01:42:17.280 And what kind of reaction did you get to that?

01:42:20.160 I would say it was mostly positive.

01:42:22.400 Like, but there was some gnarly negative intertwined.

01:42:25.960 But I feel like most of the...

01:42:28.620 I had people out of the woodworks, like, stopping me in our local grocery store.

01:42:32.620 Like, thank you so much for speaking up.

01:42:34.660 Like, we're so proud of you.

01:42:36.440 But there was also some really aggressive...

01:42:38.900 Like, I have, like, this shark gang on TikTok that, like, they're like, we're on Team Shark.

01:42:45.380 What?

01:42:47.340 Yeah, some, like, crazies out there.

01:42:49.520 But, you know, whatever side of the spectrum you are, I feel like there's crazies in the mix of, like, either end.

01:42:56.100 Like, there's just extremists that are hateful and harsh and will say gnarly things.

01:43:01.080 And, but it definitely was, like, an intense season.

01:43:05.460 And I probably let it, like, affect me more than I should.

01:43:08.100 Though I didn't look too much.

01:43:09.760 I was like, hon, you can look if you want.

01:43:11.260 But I'm not looking because I need to go to sleep tonight.

01:43:13.720 Good for you.

01:43:15.160 Not looking is a huge step.

01:43:17.320 I know.

01:43:17.780 Sometimes you just have to not look.

01:43:20.600 And...

01:43:20.880 I've never looked.

01:43:22.360 I'm not a looker.

01:43:23.860 Yeah, you're probably better off.

01:43:25.840 Much better off.

01:43:26.500 Yeah, and, yeah, so anyway, partnering with companies like Brave Books, and now I'm partnered with Public Square.

01:43:34.080 Like, you can literally put your dollar where your values matter.

01:43:37.520 And I think that really matters.

01:43:39.200 Like, there is a team of amazing people trying to build a parallel economy that isn't founded on these weird agendas and these...

01:43:50.020 Hate, division, death.

01:43:51.480 Yeah, just this gnarliness or this new world religion that they're trying to shove down children's throats to make them, like, more confused than ever.

01:44:01.500 And so Brave Books is inspiring families to speak into their children's lives early on so that they can go into society and not be confused, not be hateful on themselves and, you know, reject their God-given beauties, but to embrace their God-given talents and the person that they've been formed to be.

01:44:25.040 And I feel like this new world religion is like, oh, just be whatever you want, flow whatever direction you want.

01:44:31.760 And, like, it really doesn't lead to happiness.

01:44:35.220 It leads to despair and darkness.

01:44:37.220 And, you know, you can even look at the statistics and know that, you know, some of these people that are choosing to amputate their body parts are not healthy and they're regretting their decisions and they're taking hormones that essentially make them get disease earlier on in life than they should.

01:44:56.640 And I'm like, we're cheering this on because they just feel like they want to be different than they actually are.

01:45:04.560 Like, I have one arm.

01:45:06.760 I would never wish that on anyone.

01:45:08.560 Like, why would you amputate perfectly good body parts just to look a certain way?

01:45:12.900 Like, it doesn't make sense to look and be a certain way and, like, to do such extreme measures.

01:45:17.900 And, yeah, society is like, woohoo, let's go.

01:45:21.980 Granted, I think after I spoke out against males in female sports, I think the majority of society is like, nope, this ain't okay.

01:45:32.220 But they just might not be voicing their opinions.

01:45:35.660 Did the Surf League change their position?

01:45:38.080 No.

01:45:39.060 And I think ultimately they're trying to be accepted into the Olympic rules.

01:45:46.320 So, they're following the Olympic rules.

01:45:48.860 So, the Olympics is choosing to allow males into female sports. 0.99

01:45:54.420 And so, the World Surf League is just following their lead, so to say.

01:45:59.520 Olympics is a joke.

01:46:01.260 Yeah.

01:46:01.660 I mean, I would say the athletes are incredible and I would, like, highly, I highly celebrate the athleticism and the hard work of these athletes.

01:46:11.600 But the organization behind is definitely not serving the athletes to the best of its ability.

01:46:17.560 And it's not looking at the realities of, like, a male competing against a female is just simply not fair and, like, should never be okay.

01:46:24.940 I couldn't agree more.

01:46:26.160 So, I wanted to end on something that we were talking about off camera that I thought was so cool and revealing.

01:46:32.860 We're talking about social media and one of my daughters is a huge fan of yours, so she was showing me her social media last night.

01:46:39.260 I don't actually have the app, Instagram, but she's showing me this.

01:46:42.780 Yeah.

01:46:43.080 So cool.

01:46:43.560 And she was saying, this woman has the most beautiful children I've ever seen.

01:46:49.900 So, we were talking about social media this morning and you were saying what you just said on camera, which is that you really notice its effects on young women.

01:46:57.680 And, but you've chosen to put your own children in some of your pictures and videos for a very specific reason that I want you to explain because I thought it was just wonderful.

01:47:07.060 Yeah.

01:47:07.260 I mean, I've gone back and forth on, like, do I share my family life on social media or not?

01:47:13.300 And I just, from my perspective, like, I want to inspire the next generation to embrace and look forward to motherhood.

01:47:24.580 And there are people that I follow that make me, like, just look forward to waking up to my children every day.

01:47:31.740 They have a really positive outlook on motherhood.

01:47:34.040 They inspire me to be the best mother I can be.

01:47:37.880 And they're not hiding their family life, so to say.

01:47:41.340 And so, there is this, like, kind of balance that, like, a lot of people will just refuse to show family.

01:47:47.440 But I really want to inspire this next generation.

01:47:50.540 And I think, like, so many people have gotten so many messages of, like, your family is so beautiful.

01:47:56.880 Like, I want to be a mom someday.

01:47:58.620 And, like, that to me is, like, so encouraging.

01:48:01.900 And I just want people to know that motherhood is a blessing.

01:48:06.240 And to be a mom is one of the greatest roles in life.

01:48:10.400 And I feel like there's a big movement that is against that right now.

01:48:13.760 Yes.

01:48:13.980 And it's, you know, there's a lot of memeing around, oh, I just can't wait to go to bed.

01:48:20.620 Can't wait to, like, silence the children.

01:48:22.680 Like, just kind of, like, frustrations over, like, motherhood.

01:48:26.320 And I want to just encourage women to know that motherhood is such a blessing and that children are, you know, like, that is the high of my day.

01:48:38.780 I go to bed.

01:48:39.880 And even if I had an amazing day aside from them, like, they are my highlight.

01:48:45.460 They are the thing that I'm thinking about when I go to bed.

01:48:48.220 And I'm, like, oh, my gosh, even on the rough days, I'm, like, there's always that sweet moment that I am, like, thinking about how my three-year-old came and gave me a big hug and kiss when I came back from surfing or something like that.

01:49:03.500 And he was the highlight of my two-hour window.

01:49:07.420 Like, it wasn't the surfing by myself.

01:49:09.700 It was, like, the coming home and getting a big hug and kiss from my three-year-old.

01:49:13.740 And so I'm hoping to inspire this next generation to know that motherhood is such a gift and to look forward to that because it's such a blessing.

01:49:22.780 I won't even ask why anyone would want to deny people the greatest pleasure in life.

01:49:28.680 But I just commend you for reminding the rest of us that it is the greatest pleasure in life.

01:49:32.660 It is.

01:49:33.260 It's such a blessing.

01:49:34.940 Bethany Hamilton, thank you very much.

01:49:38.400 Thanks for listening to the Tucker Carlson Show.

01:49:40.340 If you enjoyed it, you can go to tuckercarlson.com to see everything that we have made, the complete library, tuckercarlson.com.

The Tucker Carlson Show - August 21, 2024

Bethany Hamilton： Men in Women’s Sports, Marriage Advice, and Why You Need to Homeschool Your Kids

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