In this episode of the podcast, I sit down with an actor who played Jesus in his church s Good Friday service for years and finally got the role of Jesus in the movie The Crucifixion. He talks about how he went from being one of the mockers, revilers, to a sudden conversion on the cross.
00:00:30.000The person who made that call was a friend and a colleague by that point, a guy by the name of Dallas Jenkins, who created The Chosen.
00:00:59.400And I had played Jesus for him for his church's Good Friday service in these little vignettes three times over the course of four years between 2014 and 2017.
00:01:19.740So we'd go and shoot out on a farm, these vignettes, whatever built sets into this in his church has like a little studio.
00:01:27.440And so we would, but mostly on location, we would film these little films that would be in the spirit of Good Friday or illustrate a particular gospel passage or scripture scene.
00:01:39.840And that was in line with the theme of the service for that year.
00:01:47.860And yeah, so the first time I played Jesus in one of those short films was The Crucifixion.
00:02:14.960How do you go in like one of the gospels in, in one paragraph from, you know, he was being mocked and reviled even by the thieves next to him to all of a sudden the penitent thief, as he's referred to, gives his life basically to Jesus in that moment.
00:02:32.100He said, Lord, remember me when you come into your kingdom.
00:02:34.180And Jesus says, truly today you will be with me in paradise.
00:02:37.560And he basically, it's like the first confession on the cross and, and he grants him access to the kingdom.
00:02:45.420And so how does that, how do you go from being one of the mockers, revilers to this sudden conversion on the cross?
00:02:56.120And so he tries to, Dallas tries to answer that question in the course of this 25 minute film.
00:03:02.120I actually read for the penitent thief because he's got this, this fantastic narrative arc.
00:03:10.580And then, and I thought I'd had a great audition.
00:03:16.500And I knew it was an opportunity to like, you know, get paid a nominal stipend for some work in another city, in this, in this case, suburban Chicago.
00:03:26.560And I thought, man, I would audition for the short film.
00:03:39.920A couple of days later, I get a call back to come back in, but this time to read for Jesus.
00:03:47.660And I thought to myself, ah, man, I didn't get the first role.
00:03:51.460And then I looked again at the script.
00:03:53.020I'm like, hey, so Jesus got like five lines in the whole thing.
00:03:55.380But I had happened to have played Jesus six months prior for another completely independent project up in Washington State at a studio for this Catholic company called St. Luke Productions.
00:04:07.480About this saint in the early 20th century named St. Faustina, who was considered a mystic.
00:04:15.640She wrote an entire diary that was sort of dictated to her by, by Christ himself in these visions.
00:04:21.500And so I played Jesus in the vision aspect of that story for this traveling one woman show, where it was an actress playing the saint, a screen behind her, a couple of rudimentary set pieces.
00:04:36.880And then all of the other characters in the show, in the play, including these visions of Jesus, was projected on a screen that she would choreographically time out her scenes with for 90 minutes.
00:04:49.300So fast forward six months later, I get to audition for the two thieves.
00:05:37.480It was so beautiful and it was essentially the foundational bones of the concept of the chosen, which is this sort of Ignatian spirituality, this Ignatian insight into the Gospels, which is basically you put yourself in the Gospels.
00:05:56.800You ask yourself a series of questions and that's how you meditate on the Gospels through this form of spirituality.
00:06:04.140And so this process of filmmaking was kind of like a living example of that on celluloid or digital celluloid.
00:06:12.760And so we did it again the following year for a different kind of scene.
00:06:18.640And then we skipped a year and then 2017, spring of 2017, I did one more film with him for his church.
00:06:25.260And then it was in probably the summer of 2018 where he called me and said, hey, want to put the sails back on?
00:06:34.220I think we're going to do this four episodes of a crowdfunded TV show, probably not going to go anywhere, but it'd be some consistent work.
00:06:46.340I thought, okay, I had now played Jesus for him a few times.
00:06:50.880I was getting really comfortable with the role.
00:06:52.320I was also pulled in during that time between like 2016 and 2019.
00:06:58.180I started doing these passion plays, being involved in these passion plays that a friend of mine was directing.
00:07:06.180And then I helped co-direct and then I co-wrote a version of the passion that we would put on for our church.
00:07:12.680And so for whatever reason, like God was putting me in these situations, in these stories about Jesus so often in such a short, I mean, a relatively short period of time.
00:07:29.260In a few years, I'd played Jesus like five, six, seven times.
00:07:33.060And I started to think like, well, there must be something to this.
00:08:02.260The four episodes that probably wouldn't go anywhere became eight episodes of a first season of the show that was crowdfunded by selling shares to fund the show.
00:08:14.340And then released in the fall of 2019, re-released for free because we were charging, I think, 15 bucks for the season, the entire eight episodes on DVD and streaming.
00:08:30.440And then when the pandemic hit, the folks at the Chosen said, we want to do something to kind of ease people's burdens and give the show away for free.
00:08:42.500And it exploded after that, like beyond anyone's imagination.
00:08:48.600And since then, it's always been free on the app, the Chosen app.
00:08:55.340So, and then now we just did a deal with Amazon.
00:08:58.560Amazon is going to be our exclusive window for the streaming of the show after its initial theatrical run, which for season five will be March 28th.
00:09:09.580It'll be in theaters for about a month.
00:09:11.020Then it'll go to Amazon for 90 days exclusively.
00:09:14.480And then it'll go to the app where it will remain free.
00:09:18.940I mean, it's turned into the biggest, you know, thing in that genre maybe ever.
00:09:53.860So the reason I asked the question, and you didn't flinch, was that I think some people would feel like that's a pretty heavy role in Jesus.
00:10:11.560In the first season I did, there was this moment, especially, which I've kind of talked about at times where, and it's still, I think it's still sort of affects me.
00:10:25.520I actually like telling the story because it's a reminder for me to remember what it's all about and who I'm serving as I endeavor to portray this role.
00:10:39.280And so we were about midway through the first season, and the time came for me as Jesus to start preaching, you know, full-on sermons.
00:10:50.720And we started filming, and then as I was going through these words, I suddenly, it's like I kind of felt I was outside of myself, listening to myself preach to a crowd outside the doors of, in our story, Zebedee, James and John's father, Zebedee's house.
00:11:10.440And there was a crowd of people that was growing, a crowd of onlookers, you know, and our wonderful background actors that participate in the show, and many of whom have participated for years.
00:11:23.640There, this crowd starts growing outside the house as Jesus begins preaching, and the scene's not specifically about Jesus, it's about other stuff that's happening in the background that becomes the foreground of the story.
00:11:37.580And in the background, Jesus is preaching, but I still have to preach.
00:11:40.620I still have to say these lines from scripture convincingly and try to mesmerize and galvanize the people that are listening to me and get their attention.
00:11:48.640And they seemed really attentive, so much so that it made me really self-aware.
00:12:10.440And so, I would have those feelings, and then, you know, we would stop and then move on to the next setup and put the camera in a different place.
00:12:17.960And then, as it went on, I just had to stop the production for a moment to talk to the director, to Dallas Jenkins.
00:12:27.080And I said, can we just slow down a second?
00:15:53.920And so I'm in my first communion and my confirmation as a Catholic.
00:15:57.220And probably when I got into my early 20s, I was revisiting the idea of my Orthodox roots as cousins and family members were getting married in the Orthodox church.
00:16:09.200And I so admired the beauty and the sanctity with which they approach the liturgy, which is quite different than Catholicism for the most part.
00:16:21.000I mean, there's Eastern Catholic rites, which are more similar to Greek Orthodox.
00:16:24.040But it was different, but it didn't draw me to go back completely.
00:16:34.040Because I think I just felt like, no, this feels like the truth as I understand it in God's eyes.
00:17:20.080And so doing this show, playing the character of Jesus, working with the Hallow app, doing all these prayer and meditation challenges with them,
00:17:32.040learning more about other stories of faith, other people of faith, through the challenges that we have coming up for Lent here.
00:18:23.180And through the experiences of playing Christ and getting to force myself to go into prayer and meditation prior to every season through these periodical prayer challenges,
00:18:44.860like we just did one in Advent for Halloween, and now we're doing the Pray 40, which starts today, Ash Wednesday.
00:18:52.020It's forced me to just spend more time in the presence of God, and it wants me to get closer to Him.
00:24:27.040And it recalls Christ's 40 days in the desert prior to the start of his ministry when he denied himself everything.
00:24:36.560Food, water, the temptations that he was faced with in the desert.
00:24:42.800He held steadfast and came out ready to basically start his ministry.
00:24:51.160And there's the practice of fasting is, spiritually speaking, is super powerful.
00:24:58.480I mean, if there's obstacles or challenges that you're experiencing in your life that just don't seem to be resolved through traditional prayer.
00:25:09.860You know, Jesus himself was confronted by the disciples at one point.
00:25:15.640I think they were trying to cast out these demons in their community, and it wasn't working.
00:25:24.260And they had been given the power to do that.
00:25:26.320And he comes up on them, and they basically said, we tried everything.
00:25:33.360We tried, you know, cast them out in your name.
00:25:37.160And he said, paraphrasing, some demons can only be cast out through prayer and fasting.
00:25:44.360And so that's, that there's an extra, it's like an extra superpower level that you get given when you commit to denying yourself the things that the body needs with the intention that you are offering something up to God.
00:26:47.640In fact, in fact, so to tie it to, to, to part of the reason why I'm here today, it's on Fridays in this prayer challenge on Hallow, Mark Wahlberg and Chris Pratt handled the fasting portion of the challenge.
00:27:04.820So you, you go through this challenge seven days a week and on Fridays, which is the day we typically fast from meat, they get into the spirituality and the psychology of fasting, but the, the, the, the, the potent spirituality of denial and what that means.
00:27:38.860I mean, it's something that I would pray about.
00:27:44.500Like if, if for some people having just bread and water is extremely difficult or even just like a bowl of soup or water or like, you know, there's the, the church, Catholic church has, uh,
00:28:06.380So it's essentially one meal and like partial meals, not, not a full second meal, I believe is one meal a day.
00:28:14.800But if that's, if that's too easy for you and you're like, well, that's not, I, I, I, I don't feel like I'm sacrificing anything by just one meal.
00:28:36.060So I think it, it depends, but it's always something that I, I take to in prayer first, Lord, what do you, how, how do you want me to approach this fast?
01:04:40.120What's that like, trying to get inside the head of Jesus?
01:04:43.280Well, I don't think I can ever do it successfully, like, completely.
01:04:50.880I can, the only thing that I, I mean, I can't do it successfully at all.
01:04:55.320The only thing that I can do, believing Jesus was fully God and fully man, but sinless in his humanity.
01:05:04.440The only thing that I can relate to is the humanity part and my own flawed humanity at that, deeply flawed, deeply, deeply flawed humanity.
01:05:19.780But luckily, I, I don't have to rely on me.
01:05:28.240And so my job is to simply show up, come with a, an open heart.
01:05:38.360I do a lot of praying and fasting before the, every season.
01:05:43.120I pray before every scene and then do the best that I can to, to simply be, for lack of a better term, a mirror of the divine.
01:05:58.580And so I'm like, I just show up and I'm like, I'm just trying to mirror the divine, reading the words that I have, being a vessel for which the Holy Spirit can use me to reach the truth of the gospel to, to the people that watch this show.
01:06:18.720And, and if it goes beyond entertainment for some people, awesome.
01:06:25.020I mean, um, between, um, between the show and between the Hallow app, the amount of feedback and changed lives that have, uh, occurred, um, the stories that, that we get about people that, you know, that are, they were, they were atheists all their life and somebody gave them the show.
01:06:51.040And all of a sudden they, something tweaked in their heart and they're like, why don't I feel this way about this guy?
01:07:00.360Like, I want to, I want to know this guy.
01:07:04.700Or people who have been, haven't been to church in 30 years.
01:07:10.920Elapsed Catholics, like I haven't been to church in 30 years.
01:08:01.840Of course we, when it became psychotherapy and you put like an atheist with bad judgment on the couch across from you, it, I don't think we lost something.
01:08:36.020And then, and then for, for the sacramental part of it, that's, that's where the healing comes in.
01:08:41.720That's where the spiritual healing comes in.
01:08:43.480So it's like, it's like if you're a cheesecloth full of holes, right?
01:08:49.540And you go into confession and you receive the sacrament of reconciliation from the priest.
01:08:54.600Now the priest, you know, we believe he's been given divine authority that has a pot, maybe a not visible, but a tangible, physical, metaphysical effect on, on the casing of your soul.
01:09:10.220And it's like mending the little holes.
01:09:13.760Every confession is like, you're, you're closing up those holes and restoring that connection with God in a way that, that is essentially repairing your soul.
01:09:26.680That's, that's what the, the sacramental part of confession is for us, which, which is hugely comforting and also physically tangible.
01:09:38.800I, I, for me, I, I feel just chemically slightly different after every confession that I go through in a way that's like, okay, I can breathe a little easier.
01:13:31.660And, and, and I think God's given me the, the, the, the gift and the grace of kind of being somewhat blinded to the magnitude of it and the weight of it.
01:13:54.320Most of the time I think I'm shielded from it because I think if I, if I was aware of exactly what, what that implication was, even for a single person, it would crush me.
01:14:19.720I mean, other things I, I like, I have a lot of that in other areas, but when it comes to playing this character, I'm glad I don't have much.
01:14:48.400There are thousands and thousands of ways, prayers and challenges and meditations that people can use in their daily life to the point of automation.
01:15:01.920They just set it up and you get reminders where you can just connect with God in the most creative ways.
01:15:18.400A way to keep me completely focused on God when I'm in the middle of life, it can be, it's an opportunity for me to, to access, um, my faith in a consistent way and, uh, and to, to, to get through life's biggest challenges.
01:15:39.400I mean, there's, there's, there's so many prayers on this app that I use daily, like daily.
01:15:47.600Um, and you know, for instance, there's a prayer called the, the surrender novena.
01:15:53.160Novena just is, it's a Latin word, just means nine days.
01:15:56.600So it's a, it's a prayer you say for nine days.
01:15:58.700And this, uh, this particular prayer has been so valuable to so many people.
01:16:06.460Basically, it's, it's very simple, but you repeat it like 10 times and there's all in, in, in the app, like it, it walks you through it.
01:16:15.720But the, the essence of it is this prayer where you simply say, Oh Jesus, I surrender myself to you.
01:16:33.900And the number of people that have experienced profound grace and, um, just ease of their burden, the lightness of the weight in their life.
01:16:51.060It's been, I mean, I, I've, I've never, I've never heard of a prayer that's had such a profound effect.
01:18:14.520It's the first words that come to our mind.
01:18:15.840And they told us, they said that if they hadn't gotten into this consistent routine of communicating with God through prayer, if their faith hadn't been strengthened, that second miscarriage would have destroyed their marriage.
01:18:35.860And the first words that came out of her mouth at that time was the prayer from Numbers.
01:19:00.040The Lord look kindly upon you and give you peace.
01:19:02.760I think their son's name was Jack, I think.
01:19:09.340And so, the power of having that relationship, the power of prayer, the power of being in a constant dialogue with God, it's what we were made for.
01:19:26.340And the more we try to ignore it or squash it or bury it or ignore it or pretend it doesn't exist or that it's not there or replace it with something else, the more we just run in circles.
01:19:39.920The more we try to fill that hole with something else, with some other vice, some other endeavor, some other, you know, righteous indignation of something, some other effort that will never substitute, never replace our need for God.
01:20:30.440I feel like that's what I was sent here to do, like, at this time and place to kind of be a part of this, what I see is this growing movement in film and television, in the culture that is truly counterculture to the current culture.
01:20:51.240You know, and to be a part of the ushering in of this opportunity of expression that supersedes the previous iterations of what this looked like.
01:21:10.440Because it's so attentive to quality, like The Chosen aims to be a great TV show first.
01:21:22.400And because of that, the fact that the people making it are really invested in the subject matter make it that much more powerful.
01:21:34.280And then, from a very myopically human level, and then God sees that, and He takes it, and He multiplies it.
01:21:47.900The efficacy of it is then energized and multiplied globally.
01:21:53.520But even just reaching one person and changing one person's life, Dallas will tell you this as well, it's worth it just for one person.
01:22:04.140All the discomfort or whatever I may or may not feel in the world as people approach me wanting to take a selfie in the gym or in the supermarket when I'm clearly trying to, like, get in and out.
01:22:19.100I mean, all of that discomfort for me personally, and it's, I've been through worse.
01:22:24.620You know, like, I've been through real discomfort that it's nothing.
01:22:27.600Something, but it's relative, you know what I'm saying?
01:22:29.820So, all of it's worth it, because one person decided to go get baptized, and now they have, like, they have a whole new life.
01:22:38.520They have a whole new, they have a spiritual awakening.
01:22:42.460It's amazing to me how successful it's been, and it's amazing to me the reaction to it.
01:22:59.040It's also effectively banned in Europe, in effect, because Mark Zuckerberg's company, Meta, has shut down all advertising for religious-oriented, faith-based advertising.
01:23:14.080They had just launched in Polish and Italian and, I think, German and, like, all these languages, and now they can't, people can't know about the app because they've banned it.
01:24:01.480I mean, when you read of the stories for decades of people smuggling Bibles into countries, you know, underground churches.
01:24:09.360Because even in the story that we cover in the Pray 40 Challenge for Halo, it's the story of this guy, Takashi Nagai.
01:24:17.960I mean, he was living in Nagasaki, Japan, right around the time of the Second World War when the bomb was dropped on his town, on Nagasaki.
01:24:31.200And Japan had just come out of 300 years, basically, of Christian, you know, persecution.
01:24:39.100Like, they had gotten rid of any, you know, they, I mean, I think in the late 16th century, they were crucifying people.