This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 10-2-17

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00:00:25.300 Okay.

00:00:25.740 I know, some of you guys are tired of the intro music.

00:00:33.180 Well, if you are, just listen to it again.

00:00:39.540 Celebrate living.

00:00:43.060 Celebrate misery.

00:00:47.120 You know that soon we're gonna die.

00:00:51.020 Let's have some fun while we all die.

00:00:59.060 Sorry, that's a little bit muerto.

00:01:01.040 That's a little bit muerto.

00:01:02.880 And that's Spanish for death.

00:01:04.840 Because you die in other countries too.

00:01:06.640 In Spain, Portugal, Africa.

00:01:11.720 Everywhere you go, you die, brother.

00:01:13.660 And that's the crazy part.

00:01:14.740 And I'm sorry to start us off like that.

00:01:16.560 But that's not what's happening right now.

00:01:19.100 Right now we are in the live category.

00:01:22.100 We're checking that live box.

00:01:23.700 If somebody passed you a note right now and it said, do you live, yes or no, you would check yes.

00:01:32.880 Because you're alive.

00:01:34.220 Sorry.

00:01:34.720 I know some of you guys, it's a sentence almost that you have to deal with.

00:01:40.060 While some people seem to just be able to embrace it and just have joy just jumping out of their dang skin.

00:01:49.520 You know, just like joy is just repelling out of their armpits and just spelunking out of their nose, you know, constantly.

00:01:58.820 And some people have that natural joy.

00:02:01.240 That's what I call that.

00:02:03.080 That natural joy.

00:02:05.360 T-N-J.

00:02:06.840 Not to be confused with T-M-J, which is lockjaw.

00:02:10.620 And lockjaw is something you could get.

00:02:13.320 It was Rabie's little brother.

00:02:14.720 Because I grew up, you know, a lot of people know in the rabies belt.

00:02:19.020 A lot of rabies, a lot of lice, body bugs, you know.

00:02:23.320 We had one fellow was always scratching his neck.

00:02:27.000 And they would have to, you know, put these, almost make him like a mummy because he was scratching his neck so much.

00:02:34.080 Because he got the body bugs.

00:02:36.000 And people get different types of stuff, you know.

00:02:38.460 And that's one thing that he got.

00:02:39.620 But T-M-J was also, it was, I think, something like lockjaw where you couldn't eat for a while.

00:02:44.800 It was like a diet.

00:02:46.680 But one that your, basically your central nervous system enforced a diet on you.

00:02:53.160 And you couldn't open your mouth.

00:02:54.560 And that was something I remember my mother told me.

00:02:56.880 Be careful out there because you could get lockjaw.

00:03:00.680 And especially around this time of year.

00:03:03.480 You know, I find that October, do you realize it's October?

00:03:06.140 Do you realize you can eat candy all month long and nobody will judge you?

00:03:14.060 You could be at a funeral and break out a snicker.

00:03:18.220 You know, a baby snicker.

00:03:20.380 And nobody's going to judge you heavily.

00:03:23.600 Because that's natural.

00:03:25.360 Because it's that time, you know.

00:03:27.700 I mean, you could just, you know, you could crack open a pixie stick and bust a couple of rails right up your snout.

00:03:34.600 You know, like, like frickin', like, like coca-luffagus, you know.

00:03:40.800 Like snort-a-luffagus, bruh.

00:03:43.060 You could do a couple grams of grape pixie powder and nobody's heavily going to judge you.

00:03:49.580 And that's because it's Halloween time.

00:03:52.520 And Halloween I always feel is, I mean, it's the best.

00:03:55.660 I mean, you could dress up like a fuckin' ghost and go to Burger King tomorrow.

00:04:01.860 And people will just think that, you know, you're just trying to get a head start on the year.

00:04:08.460 I mean, we had a girl in our neighborhood that would go trick-or-treating year-round.

00:04:13.100 And some people thought she was mentally challenged, you know.

00:04:17.320 Maybe had a little speck of the tism on her.

00:04:19.560 Because I grew up in the tism belt as well.

00:04:22.720 And that's basically a lot of the south and midwest.

00:04:25.100 Tism is heavy out there.

00:04:27.720 You know, tism drips heavy.

00:04:32.740 It drips heavy in the genetic caverns out there.

00:04:37.460 You know, it just drips off the ceiling.

00:04:39.640 And every now and then a drop catches somebody.

00:04:42.240 And they are, you know, they get caught up.

00:04:45.080 But their feelings and emotions and the way that they live their life gets caught up.

00:04:49.320 And that's autism.

00:04:51.020 And everybody's got a little bit of it.

00:04:52.980 You know, and I'm sure I had a splash hit me on the back.

00:04:56.800 You know, when I was going through the genetic caverns into the universe.

00:05:00.540 And I got a touch.

00:05:02.120 You know, because I'll see a lot of times autistic kids.

00:05:04.380 And they flare up kind of when I come by a little.

00:05:07.720 You know, it's almost like if a dog hears something in the distance.

00:05:10.160 And I'm not referring to autistic children as animals or autistic humans.

00:05:13.820 I'm not doing that at all.

00:05:15.880 But I'm saying that they'll have that same.

00:05:18.320 You ever see like a dog.

00:05:19.840 Like if you.

00:05:21.320 If a dog is far away and you make a sound and the dog looks.

00:05:24.960 That's a lot of time what happened with me when I get around.

00:05:28.700 People that have mental disabilities.

00:05:30.960 Because they know that the thread in me.

00:05:37.620 Is recently removed from the quilt that they're made of.

00:05:41.540 That I'm partisan.

00:05:42.180 That I'm partisan to whatever they got.

00:05:45.280 And I've always thought that.

00:05:46.920 I've always felt a little bit on the.

00:05:49.160 People say on the spectrum.

00:05:50.520 But I say on the.

00:05:51.460 I don't want to say on the rainbow.

00:05:53.080 But I say on the water slide of autism.

00:05:55.640 Because it's a wild ride.

00:05:58.560 But happy October guys.

00:06:00.320 Happy October 1st.

00:06:02.240 I.

00:06:04.060 Oh wait.

00:06:04.540 It's October 2nd.

00:06:05.720 It's October 2nd.

00:06:06.740 I'm recording this on October 1st.

00:06:08.240 I hope you had a good weekend.

00:06:10.680 You know.

00:06:11.080 I hope.

00:06:12.000 You know.

00:06:12.520 People got into the football.

00:06:14.100 We got some people that called in about that.

00:06:15.980 About some of the different kneeling.

00:06:17.860 A lot of the unique perspectives on it.

00:06:20.080 And so we're going to rifle through some of those in a little bit.

00:06:22.820 We got.

00:06:24.260 We got Ari Maness coming back in.

00:06:26.340 I know people hate him.

00:06:28.260 Some people love him.

00:06:30.040 So we're just going to figure out.

00:06:31.560 We got.

00:06:31.780 We're going to try it again.

00:06:32.600 A little bit of a flow.

00:06:33.620 We can see how that goes.

00:06:35.420 And what else is going on in my world.

00:06:38.300 I mean recently I've been.

00:06:40.200 I'll give you a sensual update.

00:06:42.060 I am.

00:06:43.560 I'm in seven days of no masturbation.

00:06:47.020 And for me that's good.

00:06:48.620 And so I'm feeling pretty hopeful about that.

00:06:50.940 One of my problems is a lot of times.

00:06:52.360 Once I tell people I'm doing something.

00:06:54.460 I screw it up.

00:06:56.380 You know.

00:06:56.520 Like the second like you know.

00:06:57.720 I'll say that to you guys.

00:06:58.900 Then I'll get excited.

00:06:59.880 I'll get caught up in my own hope.

00:07:03.720 And then it just.

00:07:05.740 You know.

00:07:06.420 It's like a.

00:07:06.980 That creates a bad recipe inside of me.

00:07:09.760 That then somehow.

00:07:11.460 I end up.

00:07:12.360 You know.

00:07:13.280 You know.

00:07:13.840 Looking at masturbation.

00:07:14.980 Or touching myself.

00:07:16.380 And I don't want to be doing that anymore.

00:07:18.000 I don't want to be touching myself.

00:07:19.180 Why?

00:07:19.460 Because I'm an adult.

00:07:21.760 You know.

00:07:22.380 And I've been touched.

00:07:24.300 Trust me.

00:07:24.880 I've been touched enough.

00:07:26.240 By myself.

00:07:27.860 I've given myself enough.

00:07:29.940 Easy access.

00:07:31.200 To my wiener.

00:07:32.320 And to my body.

00:07:33.960 And so I think it's time sometimes.

00:07:35.440 To start to cage myself up.

00:07:37.000 From myself.

00:07:38.260 And have a little bit more respect.

00:07:39.780 For my seed.

00:07:42.960 What else?

00:07:43.660 Oh.

00:07:43.940 I'll watch this show.

00:07:44.640 Last Chance You.

00:07:45.860 I don't know if you've seen this.

00:07:47.460 But I used to work over in.

00:07:49.420 In Mississippi.

00:07:50.380 I worked on a farm over there.

00:07:51.740 For.

00:07:52.560 A couple of summers in a row.

00:07:54.040 Two.

00:07:54.300 Three summers.

00:07:54.840 There right on the.

00:07:56.580 Actually right on the Louisiana Mississippi border.

00:07:59.380 And this.

00:08:00.020 This show on Netflix.

00:08:01.000 Last Chance You.

00:08:02.640 Is about.

00:08:04.540 Mostly African American.

00:08:06.220 Black.

00:08:07.940 Boys.

00:08:08.460 That play football.

00:08:10.060 At a.

00:08:11.460 At a school called.

00:08:12.360 Eastern Mississippi Community College.

00:08:14.440 And it really kind of captures.

00:08:16.120 A little bit of that slow vibe.

00:08:17.940 That goes on in a lot of small towns.

00:08:19.800 If you get a chance man.

00:08:21.100 I heavily recommend that.

00:08:22.680 It's a pretty good show.

00:08:24.760 This past weekend.

00:08:28.120 Yeah.

00:08:28.740 That October.

00:08:29.440 I remember when I was young.

00:08:31.260 Doing Halloween.

00:08:32.280 Was always a special time.

00:08:34.200 You know.

00:08:35.240 I remember in high school.

00:08:36.600 Eating mushrooms.

00:08:38.440 You know.

00:08:38.760 Psychedelic mushrooms.

00:08:40.920 Little trip snacks.

00:08:42.440 Brain.

00:08:44.120 Mentos.

00:08:44.800 Basically.

00:08:45.260 Mentos for your soul.

00:08:46.940 I mean.

00:08:47.220 You pop a couple.

00:08:49.020 I mean.

00:08:49.520 The first time we went to get some mushrooms.

00:08:51.620 I went with some.

00:08:52.540 Kids who had already gotten them before.

00:08:54.080 And so they were fired up.

00:08:56.300 And.

00:08:57.120 We went there.

00:08:58.820 And.

00:08:59.820 I'd never seen as many mushrooms in my entire life.

00:09:02.300 Not even at a grocery.

00:09:04.100 And we got.

00:09:05.620 Literally.

00:09:06.320 We got.

00:09:07.380 Probably half of a.

00:09:09.580 Black.

00:09:10.220 Big black garbage bag.

00:09:11.740 Full of mushrooms.

00:09:13.100 And we took them to a party.

00:09:15.340 And at the party.

00:09:17.000 People.

00:09:17.960 Ate them.

00:09:18.460 We went inside the party.

00:09:19.460 People ate them.

00:09:20.840 And.

00:09:21.540 About an hour later.

00:09:23.860 There was probably maybe 40 people at the party.

00:09:26.200 An hour later.

00:09:28.520 Nobody was in the house.

00:09:30.300 But everybody was still at the party.

00:09:32.180 People were lost in the woods.

00:09:35.460 People were trapped.

00:09:36.800 Some people were trapped behind the swimming pool.

00:09:38.480 Even though there was no way to get trapped behind it.

00:09:40.160 Because it was just a round pool.

00:09:42.700 People were.

00:09:44.720 Playing hide and go seek with themselves.

00:09:47.240 Two kids were in the bathroom.

00:09:48.700 And didn't know each other was in the bathroom.

00:09:51.220 I mean.

00:09:51.480 People were.

00:09:53.140 I mean.

00:09:53.520 You could just hear people's souls.

00:09:55.040 Just jerking off in the distance.

00:09:57.320 You know.

00:09:57.720 It was like.

00:09:59.400 I mean.

00:09:59.920 It was just like.

00:10:00.680 Bison.

00:10:01.040 Were just roaming through people's souls.

00:10:03.140 For the first time.

00:10:04.520 And then Indians were showing up.

00:10:06.120 And hunting them.

00:10:07.300 And that's what was going on.

00:10:08.660 You could feel people shifting.

00:10:10.360 You could feel people shifting gears.

00:10:13.780 Mentally and emotionally.

00:10:14.860 At the same time.

00:10:15.980 When people were bent out.

00:10:17.680 On them mushrooms.

00:10:18.840 On that Halloween.

00:10:20.420 And then.

00:10:22.060 Now we had.

00:10:23.080 A lot of mushrooms.

00:10:24.360 So those went on for a few days.

00:10:25.760 And children were eating them.

00:10:26.760 And they.

00:10:28.360 I remember dressing up like.

00:10:29.540 Where's Waldo.

00:10:31.120 And.

00:10:31.960 I got in a powdered sugar fight.

00:10:33.620 With a couple of people.

00:10:35.380 Who I didn't know.

00:10:37.360 Which is fun at first.

00:10:38.800 But.

00:10:39.180 Anytime you're fighting with condiments.

00:10:40.620 Fun at first.

00:10:41.460 Violent at the end.

00:10:43.340 You know what I'm saying.

00:10:44.040 Crack open a packet of mustard.

00:10:45.300 On somebody.

00:10:46.340 It's cute for about 40 seconds.

00:10:48.420 And then shit escalates.

00:10:50.320 You know.

00:10:50.720 And next thing you know.

00:10:51.380 You're trying to.

00:10:52.520 Fucking hide.

00:10:53.280 Chunks of relish.

00:10:54.220 In people's tear ducts.

00:10:55.220 And shit.

00:10:56.140 And that's when shit escalates.

00:10:58.400 But.

00:10:59.440 But I remember.

00:11:00.480 A buddy of mine.

00:11:01.760 This kid Todd.

00:11:02.680 Drank some gasoline.

00:11:04.280 High on mushrooms.

00:11:05.320 He was jacked up.

00:11:06.280 On something.

00:11:07.640 You know.

00:11:08.240 And he.

00:11:09.100 He fucked up.

00:11:10.320 At the service station.

00:11:11.540 Time saver.

00:11:12.340 The service station.

00:11:13.020 By this used to be called.

00:11:13.840 Time saver.

00:11:15.120 Because I guess.

00:11:15.760 They assumed.

00:11:16.260 That if you stopped there.

00:11:17.280 You were going to save you.

00:11:18.220 A couple extra seconds.

00:11:19.240 But old Todd.

00:11:22.680 He really earned himself.

00:11:24.240 A couple of extra seconds.

00:11:25.300 In the hospital.

00:11:26.080 Days even.

00:11:26.720 From drinking the gasoline.

00:11:28.420 But yeah.

00:11:29.080 I had good times.

00:11:29.880 On Halloween.

00:11:31.040 I was Where's Waldo.

00:11:31.940 One time.

00:11:33.520 I was Peppermint Pat.

00:11:35.680 Another time.

00:11:36.460 I got jacked up.

00:11:37.580 On.

00:11:38.980 On some type of uppers.

00:11:40.740 And I was Peppermint Pat.

00:11:42.380 For Halloween.

00:11:44.240 And.

00:11:45.200 It's really.

00:11:45.920 Basically.

00:11:46.260 You take some long johns.

00:11:47.600 That are the pants.

00:11:48.380 And you take the long johns shirts.

00:11:49.840 Which is just kind of the same material.

00:11:51.200 As the pants.

00:11:51.840 But it's a shirt.

00:11:53.100 And you.

00:11:54.620 Sew peppermints to it.

00:11:55.920 Just tie the peppermints.

00:11:57.180 You know.

00:11:57.920 All over it.

00:11:59.260 Get you a little hat.

00:12:00.560 A little.

00:12:01.860 Excuse me.

00:12:02.360 Like a little beanie hat.

00:12:03.740 Hook a few peppermints onto that.

00:12:05.780 And suddenly.

00:12:06.700 You get a cane.

00:12:07.580 Like a cane.

00:12:08.680 For.

00:12:09.980 A grandparent.

00:12:11.400 And you paint it red and white stripes.

00:12:13.700 And suddenly.

00:12:14.420 You fucking Peppermint Pat.

00:12:15.540 You know.

00:12:17.400 And.

00:12:18.380 And it's not even a character.

00:12:20.520 But it is a character.

00:12:21.720 And people are like.

00:12:22.140 Who are you?

00:12:22.660 And it's like.

00:12:22.980 I'm Peppermint Pat.

00:12:24.360 You know what I'm saying.

00:12:25.620 Let me hide a little bit of this mint.

00:12:27.400 Up in that ass.

00:12:28.300 You feel me.

00:12:29.140 Let me breath freshen that crotch.

00:12:31.200 You feel me.

00:12:33.360 So that was another costume that I had.

00:12:37.360 I remember this story man.

00:12:38.860 This is the first time.

00:12:39.540 The first time.

00:12:40.880 That I knew.

00:12:42.740 When I was young.

00:12:44.760 My father.

00:12:46.180 Lived with us.

00:12:46.760 And my father was really old.

00:12:48.140 You know.

00:12:49.320 And so we would go trick or treating.

00:12:52.000 And my mother would take us.

00:12:53.900 My mother had worked all day.

00:12:55.280 You know.

00:12:55.580 And so she got home.

00:12:56.540 And she was a lot of time frustrated.

00:12:58.480 And my dad would stay home.

00:13:01.720 Excuse me.

00:13:02.280 I'm going to have to clear my throat.

00:13:03.400 A lot of times you hear me clear my throat.

00:13:05.240 You hear me.

00:13:05.800 I make that sound.

00:13:08.580 Because I got a big lip.

00:13:10.720 You know.

00:13:11.020 I got that.

00:13:11.540 I got that.

00:13:13.380 That.

00:13:15.140 What is it.

00:13:15.800 I got that.

00:13:17.900 That sashimi.

00:13:18.940 That tuna sashimi.

00:13:19.980 For the bottom lip.

00:13:21.340 And so a lot of water.

00:13:22.460 And a lot of coagulants.

00:13:24.360 Bunch up down there.

00:13:25.420 In the bottom of my lip.

00:13:26.580 You know.

00:13:26.780 I'm kind of bubble gumping down there.

00:13:29.260 And so.

00:13:31.300 You know.

00:13:31.820 A lot of time.

00:13:32.360 Water build up right there.

00:13:33.440 And I'd probably make a pearl.

00:13:34.560 If you gave me enough time.

00:13:36.200 I'd probably make a pearl.

00:13:38.000 In my mouth.

00:13:38.720 I bet when I die.

00:13:40.220 If the last person who comes by my body.

00:13:42.420 Just pulls my lip down.

00:13:44.780 They might find them a beautiful.

00:13:48.820 A beautiful.

00:13:50.520 You know.

00:13:52.720 Geological treat.

00:13:53.820 Right there.

00:13:54.220 And that's going to be a pearl.

00:13:55.260 Because I got them coagulants.

00:13:56.720 You know.

00:13:56.940 My mouth kind of flows into this.

00:13:59.020 This place.

00:13:59.780 Where there's no way.

00:14:00.420 For the water to escape.

00:14:01.880 So anyway.

00:14:02.480 That's what I'm going on.

00:14:03.200 If you hear me making sounds.

00:14:04.300 That's the sounds I'm making.

00:14:05.340 Because people sometimes will call in or email.

00:14:07.820 Some guy emailed one time.

00:14:08.940 I can't.

00:14:09.360 I can't listen to the podcast anymore.

00:14:12.360 You know.

00:14:12.700 He's always drinking your own spit.

00:14:15.460 That's what he accused me of doing.

00:14:17.020 Drinking my own spit.

00:14:18.220 What are you talking about dude.

00:14:21.900 Like I'm like an.

00:14:22.820 Like I'm an orphan in the Sahara.

00:14:25.400 What do you mean drinking my own spit.

00:14:27.040 Dude.

00:14:27.160 I got a.

00:14:27.700 I'm not going to drown bro.

00:14:29.820 I'm not going to drown.

00:14:30.980 So you can have an easily listening atmosphere.

00:14:35.240 You know.

00:14:36.320 So every time you hear me making that sound.

00:14:39.540 Know.

00:14:40.160 I'm surviving.

00:14:42.340 Okay.

00:14:42.680 That I want to be at other stages of my life.

00:14:45.060 You know.

00:14:46.600 I'm not going to have my brother be at my funeral.

00:14:48.900 And say.

00:14:49.720 Oh.

00:14:50.060 My brother drowned out.

00:14:51.700 Because he didn't want to.

00:14:53.620 Swallow his spit.

00:14:55.440 Because he had shame about it.

00:14:57.540 I'm sorry.

00:14:58.900 You know.

00:14:59.320 Different people make different sounds.

00:15:01.540 Go put your ear up to your stepmother.

00:15:03.260 I bet she sounds like a.

00:15:04.660 Piece of shit.

00:15:06.520 Maybe.

00:15:07.160 Some people's stepmoms are decent.

00:15:08.680 Anyhow.

00:15:09.140 Onward.

00:15:09.520 So I remember.

00:15:11.060 We had Halloween.

00:15:12.620 And my father would stay home.

00:15:14.240 And my father was old.

00:15:15.500 That time he was 76 years old.

00:15:17.600 Maybe 75.

00:15:19.120 And my mother would take us trick or treating.

00:15:21.360 And I didn't realize at that time yet.

00:15:24.000 That my father was old.

00:15:25.200 I didn't.

00:15:27.100 I mean.

00:15:27.680 I knew that he was like physically slower.

00:15:31.040 But I guess I didn't realize.

00:15:33.160 I didn't really realize how he.

00:15:37.980 Saw me.

00:15:39.720 You know.

00:15:40.180 I didn't realize how he.

00:15:42.080 Envisioned me.

00:15:43.040 Or looked at me.

00:15:43.960 Or if he did any differently.

00:15:45.620 Because of his age.

00:15:47.820 And I remember when we went trick or treating.

00:15:49.220 With my mom.

00:15:50.700 And.

00:15:51.620 My brother and I got in a fight.

00:15:53.740 So we were.

00:15:54.380 We were Raggedy Ann.

00:15:55.680 And.

00:15:57.720 And Andy.

00:15:59.420 And both of us.

00:16:00.700 We both started out as Andy.

00:16:02.220 And then my brother beat my ass enough.

00:16:04.220 Where I kind of looked more like a Raggedy Ann.

00:16:06.420 And not.

00:16:07.820 You know.

00:16:08.420 Just my eye painted gone out.

00:16:09.740 My hair was sprayed out.

00:16:11.380 And my.

00:16:11.860 My.

00:16:12.880 Raggedy Ann outfit was all busted up.

00:16:14.860 Looked more like a dress.

00:16:16.260 So at that time.

00:16:17.300 You know.

00:16:17.480 I was showing up back at my door.

00:16:18.820 Like a real.

00:16:19.980 Bitch.

00:16:20.480 You feel me.

00:16:21.700 And so.

00:16:22.480 We get back to our house.

00:16:23.460 We go on trick or treating.

00:16:24.520 And we had a pretty decent time.

00:16:26.380 And it was my mother with the four children.

00:16:28.000 My sister in a stroller.

00:16:30.260 And.

00:16:31.060 We get back there.

00:16:32.220 And my brother and I run up to the door.

00:16:35.180 And my father.

00:16:37.300 Came to the door.

00:16:38.560 And he looked at us.

00:16:41.700 And.

00:16:42.920 He went.

00:16:43.760 He got the candy bowl.

00:16:45.900 And.

00:16:47.020 Just said.

00:16:47.840 You know.

00:16:49.480 Take what you want.

00:16:50.800 You know.

00:16:51.960 And that's when.

00:16:52.860 He didn't realize it was us.

00:16:54.040 He didn't realize it was his own children.

00:16:56.640 And that was like the first moment.

00:16:58.500 That like.

00:16:59.840 I guess I realized that maybe my dad just couldn't.

00:17:03.080 Relate to me that well.

00:17:04.280 Even just because of his age.

00:17:05.360 Like he just didn't.

00:17:06.840 You know.

00:17:07.380 Maybe dads forget.

00:17:08.700 I mean.

00:17:08.920 My dad had just seen me.

00:17:10.060 You know.

00:17:10.720 An hour earlier.

00:17:11.900 When I left.

00:17:13.180 You know.

00:17:13.500 My brother and I wearing our costumes.

00:17:15.180 And stuff.

00:17:15.740 But I remember getting back to the door.

00:17:19.080 And he didn't know it was us.

00:17:21.520 And I just remember feeling this.

00:17:24.660 This.

00:17:25.560 This disconnect.

00:17:27.360 Immediately.

00:17:28.080 Just like this.

00:17:29.480 It wasn't like a feeling of.

00:17:32.100 Of.

00:17:32.940 Pain.

00:17:33.740 But it was this feeling immediately.

00:17:35.860 Where I understood where.

00:17:37.320 Where we were.

00:17:40.240 In relation.

00:17:41.480 To.

00:17:42.480 Each other.

00:17:43.180 Like I knew immediately.

00:17:44.240 There was this.

00:17:45.500 Divide.

00:17:46.320 Where he just didn't.

00:17:48.640 There may be.

00:17:49.380 Like he could confuse me with other kids.

00:17:51.540 That.

00:17:52.380 You know.

00:17:52.700 He didn't remember things that well.

00:17:54.920 That there was just this.

00:17:56.360 Immediately.

00:17:56.940 There was this element that.

00:17:59.100 And probably at that age too.

00:18:00.240 That you know.

00:18:00.580 He didn't recognize me.

00:18:02.480 You know.

00:18:02.700 There was probably a lot of fear that set in.

00:18:04.580 Like internally then.

00:18:06.060 You know.

00:18:06.380 This feeling that.

00:18:07.620 You know.

00:18:08.060 Maybe he couldn't.

00:18:09.720 Protect me or something.

00:18:11.040 If he didn't know I was his own.

00:18:12.620 There might have been some.

00:18:13.620 You know.

00:18:14.640 Nocturnal.

00:18:15.720 Animalistic vibes going on.

00:18:17.780 But.

00:18:18.320 But that was one moment.

00:18:19.620 That it really shook me.

00:18:20.580 And I was like.

00:18:21.020 Wow.

00:18:22.040 You know.

00:18:23.740 You know.

00:18:24.420 My dad is.

00:18:26.500 He's old.

00:18:28.020 You know.

00:18:28.340 He doesn't know.

00:18:29.180 That my brother and I standing here.

00:18:31.880 You know.

00:18:32.080 Who don't have masks on.

00:18:33.780 Who have.

00:18:34.740 You know.

00:18:35.260 Like headbands.

00:18:36.140 That have like yarn and stuff.

00:18:37.640 And are looking a certain way.

00:18:40.900 That he doesn't realize.

00:18:42.380 That were his.

00:18:43.040 His sons.

00:18:44.280 And that was kind of a wild moment for me.

00:18:45.840 Not to bring down the.

00:18:47.040 The town.

00:18:48.440 You know.

00:18:49.020 I'm not trying to drown the town here.

00:18:51.200 In.

00:18:52.080 In inner salt water.

00:18:53.480 You know.

00:18:53.660 I'm not trying to.

00:18:54.560 You know.

00:18:55.660 Put the saline in the.

00:18:57.280 In your eye holes.

00:18:58.480 But.

00:18:59.260 But yeah.

00:18:59.840 Just reminding me of that.

00:19:00.620 That was another thing that happened at Halloween.

00:19:03.040 Let me think of some other Halloweens that I went to.

00:19:08.920 I.

00:19:09.960 They had this.

00:19:11.600 My mother.

00:19:12.700 Had a station wagon.

00:19:14.800 And a station wagon was something that.

00:19:17.640 It was like a van.

00:19:20.080 But.

00:19:20.980 For straight up.

00:19:22.240 Real ass moms.

00:19:23.340 It was like an SUV.

00:19:24.480 It was like the original SUV.

00:19:26.660 Like now they got these SUVs with all this room.

00:19:29.140 And this and that.

00:19:30.100 The station wagon.

00:19:31.200 That thing was like 50 feet long.

00:19:34.660 Like your mom could be driving.

00:19:36.140 And you could be so far in the back.

00:19:39.300 That.

00:19:40.660 You were a couple minutes behind her.

00:19:43.820 In time.

00:19:44.600 Like if you had asked your mother what time it was.

00:19:46.300 She would have said 1144.

00:19:48.260 And if somebody would have asked you what time it was.

00:19:50.260 You would have said 1141.

00:19:52.400 Because you were living in the past.

00:19:54.020 That backseat was so far.

00:19:56.260 And man.

00:19:56.740 It was fun in that station wagon.

00:19:58.580 You know.

00:19:59.180 You could talk all the smack.

00:20:00.400 Because your mother could never reach you.

00:20:02.360 These SUVs.

00:20:03.400 They got reachable children in them.

00:20:05.320 You could catch an ass whooping.

00:20:06.720 If your mother got long arms.

00:20:08.060 If your mother's Nigerian.

00:20:10.140 You know.

00:20:10.760 If your mother's from Kenya.

00:20:11.800 You might get your ass beat.

00:20:13.720 Even if you're just sitting into the back.

00:20:16.160 But with that.

00:20:16.840 Dude.

00:20:17.140 With that.

00:20:18.240 With that station wagon.

00:20:21.680 Man.

00:20:22.180 Your mother could put you in there.

00:20:24.380 You could be back there so long.

00:20:25.820 You could start a family.

00:20:27.520 You know.

00:20:28.100 She opened the door.

00:20:29.060 Next time she opens the door.

00:20:29.960 You pop out with a husband.

00:20:31.440 And a.

00:20:31.900 And a.

00:20:32.540 And a.

00:20:32.860 And a.

00:20:33.460 You know.

00:20:34.120 And just freshly back a tan.

00:20:35.940 Because you just got back from your honeymoon.

00:20:37.900 It was that kind of thing.

00:20:38.940 Man.

00:20:39.040 You could.

00:20:39.500 Felt like you were back there forever.

00:20:40.600 In your own universe.

00:20:41.480 And I loved my mother's station wagon.

00:20:44.920 But on Halloween.

00:20:46.160 She would put the tailgate down.

00:20:48.040 And we'd get a couple of local kids.

00:20:50.820 And.

00:20:52.920 And.

00:20:54.160 And they would.

00:20:54.980 We would stand on the back of the tailgate.

00:20:57.540 And hold on to this bar.

00:20:59.220 The tailgate was down.

00:21:00.120 We'd stand on that.

00:21:00.980 And hold on to this bar.

00:21:01.900 That was at the top of the station wagon.

00:21:04.160 And my mother would drive.

00:21:05.540 She'd take us to the nice neighborhoods.

00:21:07.300 So you could get that candy.

00:21:09.040 You know.

00:21:10.380 Because rich people.

00:21:11.300 People had the candy.

00:21:12.780 I mean.

00:21:13.080 You showed up at some poor people's house.

00:21:14.620 People.

00:21:15.900 You know.

00:21:16.600 I remember this one dude.

00:21:20.300 What was that guy's name?

00:21:24.300 Cutman.

00:21:24.700 Mr. Cutman.

00:21:25.920 He would.

00:21:27.120 Blow weed smoke in your face.

00:21:28.660 And blow drug smoke at you.

00:21:30.240 And that was his big Halloween thing.

00:21:32.100 So when we were young.

00:21:33.420 We didn't get into that much.

00:21:34.780 But as we got a little bit older.

00:21:35.860 It was fun to hit his door.

00:21:37.200 Because he'd crack that door.

00:21:38.560 And just blow you a hit of that.

00:21:39.720 That dope smoke at you.

00:21:41.940 You know.

00:21:42.320 Trick or treat boy.

00:21:44.400 That shit was trick or trauma dude.

00:21:46.040 One year.

00:21:46.480 That shit hit me right in the nostrils dude.

00:21:48.320 And I was bent out.

00:21:49.940 And I was bent out.

00:21:52.720 Boy.

00:21:53.120 I was ghosting dude.

00:21:54.880 I had goonies in my head bro.

00:21:57.500 Hey you thoughts.

00:22:00.880 I had goonies in my head man.

00:22:02.960 But that was a good time I remember.

00:22:06.120 And so anyway.

00:22:07.000 We'd be on the station wagon.

00:22:09.980 And that tailgate would be down.

00:22:11.740 My mother would be cruising.

00:22:13.100 And the fun thing to do.

00:22:14.140 When you saw that open yard coming up.

00:22:15.940 Was to run and jump off.

00:22:17.640 Like we were in the Air Force.

00:22:19.300 You know.

00:22:19.720 101st Airborne Division.

00:22:21.440 And no offense if I'm getting that wrong.

00:22:23.220 I don't want to offend anybody.

00:22:24.600 Or.

00:22:25.880 In that sense.

00:22:26.600 But you get what I'm saying.

00:22:27.600 We'd run and jump right off that tailgate.

00:22:29.560 And all right.

00:22:30.920 All right.

00:22:31.740 All right.

00:22:32.520 All right.

00:22:33.260 You know.

00:22:34.100 Somebody throw my sister off.

00:22:35.860 You know.

00:22:37.220 And everybody just hitting the grass.

00:22:39.300 And then everybody would get up.

00:22:40.440 And make sure they had all their candy.

00:22:41.900 Half the candy roll out into the yard.

00:22:44.440 But it was dark.

00:22:45.340 You didn't know.

00:22:46.000 You'd get your bag and run to the door.

00:22:47.940 Then you'd hit a string of houses.

00:22:49.580 And then get back on the tailgate.

00:22:51.380 And off around to the next street.

00:22:53.080 You know.

00:22:53.300 Mother would go around.

00:22:54.540 And we'd jump off.

00:22:55.640 You know.

00:22:57.180 So.

00:22:58.480 This one boy.

00:22:59.560 Man.

00:22:59.760 One time we're going man.

00:23:01.240 And my buddy.

00:23:03.700 My buddy Danny.

00:23:04.780 And I've talked about him before.

00:23:05.900 And he.

00:23:06.300 You know.

00:23:07.860 Very.

00:23:09.020 Slender neck.

00:23:10.340 I mean.

00:23:10.680 His neck.

00:23:11.220 If it was made out of anything.

00:23:12.380 It was turkey bacon.

00:23:14.760 And.

00:23:15.680 So.

00:23:16.080 He was long.

00:23:17.440 You know.

00:23:17.760 And long people.

00:23:18.620 They're out.

00:23:18.940 There.

00:23:19.200 There's.

00:23:19.560 You're more likely to catch a cold.

00:23:22.240 My dad always told me.

00:23:23.200 You're more likely to catch a cold.

00:23:24.340 When you're long.

00:23:25.820 Because there's more of you.

00:23:27.700 You know.

00:23:28.240 If I'm only 20 inches tall.

00:23:30.480 There's only 20 inches of me where a cold can land.

00:23:33.800 But if I'm 27 inches tall.

00:23:36.480 I'm a little longer.

00:23:38.140 Then those molecules.

00:23:39.600 Or those.

00:23:40.300 You know.

00:23:40.660 Those viral.

00:23:42.560 Antibodies.

00:23:43.300 Or bodies that are floating around.

00:23:46.080 They can land.

00:23:46.940 There's more room for them to land.

00:23:48.500 You know.

00:23:49.160 Like I'm telling you.

00:23:49.900 It's easier to land on Saturn than it is on Pluto.

00:23:52.820 Because there's more space.

00:23:53.920 That's what I'm saying.

00:23:55.660 So my boy Danny was long.

00:23:57.620 And he went running off.

00:23:59.180 And we were.

00:23:59.660 One.

00:24:00.120 Two.

00:24:00.360 We're jumping off that tailgate.

00:24:01.620 Hitting the yard.

00:24:02.960 You know.

00:24:03.340 Rolling over.

00:24:04.100 Running up.

00:24:04.700 And Danny goes running dude.

00:24:06.780 Jumped.

00:24:07.980 And hit.

00:24:09.160 Literally.

00:24:10.220 Landed right onto a fire hydrant.

00:24:12.680 That was in somebody's yard.

00:24:13.800 Man.

00:24:15.000 And I heard a sound come out of that boy.

00:24:17.680 It didn't come out of his voice box.

00:24:21.640 It didn't come out of.

00:24:23.740 It was almost like his bone marrow.

00:24:26.420 Just let out a fucking shriek.

00:24:29.860 Like his bone marrow let out a shriek.

00:24:34.100 And that's when I knew.

00:24:36.680 That night time was dangerous man.

00:24:38.800 And that the devil lurked sometimes.

00:24:40.660 On Halloween.

00:24:41.540 He was never the same.

00:24:42.400 He was never the same before that.

00:24:44.440 But he was definitely.

00:24:46.380 He was double.

00:24:48.060 Never the same.

00:24:50.540 After he just jumped sheer darkness.

00:24:52.860 And just caught that fire hydrant.

00:24:54.800 Just to the whole neck and body.

00:24:57.820 You know.

00:24:58.700 And the crazy thing is.

00:24:59.600 You could pop that hydrant open.

00:25:00.780 And run water across him forever.

00:25:02.240 And he would never get back to normal.

00:25:05.440 But it is fall.

00:25:06.800 It is autumn.

00:25:08.000 And happy Halloween you guys.

00:25:10.300 We're going to be right back.

00:25:12.560 Just a second.

00:25:13.520 I got.

00:25:14.120 I got Ari Madison's studio.

00:25:16.220 I got a new way we're going to use him.

00:25:18.140 I got a plan.

00:25:19.020 Bear with me.

00:25:20.060 We got a few calls that came in about the NFL.

00:25:22.940 We got a guy who's got some pubic hair.

00:25:28.940 Reconfiguration.

00:25:29.340 And we got a couple more things.

00:25:33.600 We'll be right.

00:25:34.380 We'll be right back.

00:25:35.320 Just give me one second.

00:25:36.560 Because somebody just rang the doorbell.

00:25:37.760 I got to see who it is.

00:25:38.600 All right.

00:25:38.800 But yeah.

00:25:42.020 It's that time of year.

00:25:43.140 It's the time of year where things are fresh.

00:25:45.840 October I think is a great month to rattle off the things you want to get done that have been plaguing you all year.

00:25:52.800 Set a few goals.

00:25:54.340 Knock them out before turkey time and before Christmas.

00:25:58.160 Because if you put your ear.

00:26:00.700 Stick your neck out a little.

00:26:02.360 Now stick it out a little bit further.

00:26:04.220 What do you hear?

00:26:05.920 I'll tell you what you fucking hear boy and girl.

00:26:09.300 You hear a turkey with a jingle bell around his neck.

00:26:15.220 And that's holidays coming fast dude.

00:26:18.260 And if you don't think the holidays are coming fast.

00:26:20.240 Go outside.

00:26:21.700 Bend over.

00:26:22.320 And I'll tell you this.

00:26:24.440 Before you know what's going on.

00:26:27.400 You will have a damn pilgrim.

00:26:31.120 With a fucking sack full of new toys.

00:26:36.000 Hiding in your ass.

00:26:38.060 Because that's what I'm telling you.

00:26:39.080 The holidays are coming quick.

00:26:42.080 And we got a great episode for you guys man.

00:26:44.920 I'm excited.

00:26:45.760 I didn't have that crazy of a weekend.

00:26:47.200 So I'm just going to kind of leave that right there.

00:26:49.540 You know I spent some time.

00:26:51.840 I go to therapy on Mondays.

00:26:53.620 So I'm ready to spend some time with my therapist.

00:26:55.760 I'm trying to get through tonight's episode.

00:26:59.840 So that I can get some rest and be prepared.

00:27:03.040 Sometimes I go to this therapy session.

00:27:04.480 I'm not prepared.

00:27:06.000 But I go to adult therapy for males.

00:27:08.700 Because I ain't no wuss.

00:27:10.660 And if you're having problems.

00:27:12.740 If you're having problems.

00:27:13.920 You're feeling some emasculation issues.

00:27:15.680 I want you to hit the hotline.

00:27:16.840 985-664-9503.

00:27:21.220 I want you to hit the hotline with some of the ways that you're feeling as a man.

00:27:25.340 If you're having a tough time being a man.

00:27:27.200 It could be in any facet.

00:27:29.040 Hit the hotline.

00:27:29.780 You don't even need to leave your name if you don't want to.

00:27:32.520 But just make sure your story is real.

00:27:34.640 We got some great calls that came in.

00:27:37.460 We got a couple people calling about taking a knee.

00:27:41.080 The NFL.

00:27:41.540 We got a couple of amazing perspectives on that.

00:27:46.000 We're talking about why we don't have camels in America.

00:27:48.520 We're talking about a follow-up call from a gentleman who...

00:27:53.540 You know, we talked about it last week.

00:27:55.120 About what would the price be that you would let your loved one get out there and do sex with a stranger.

00:28:01.760 An expensive stranger.

00:28:03.100 A stranger that's got some money.

00:28:05.120 You know, the rich.

00:28:06.340 How much would you just let the rich just plow into your loved one?

00:28:11.560 And we got a call that came in about that.

00:28:13.440 We got some great calls.

00:28:16.100 A man got hair transplants from a place you probably wouldn't even expect.

00:28:21.780 And you heard the doorbell a little bit ago.

00:28:23.920 That's going to be Ari Maness is going to be back here.

00:28:26.380 And he's going to be in studio.

00:28:28.080 But the time when he's not in here.

00:28:29.980 He's not in here.

00:28:31.240 This is our time.

00:28:32.880 And this isn't the time that I share with him.

00:28:35.060 This is our time.

00:28:37.000 And the time when I tell you he's not in here.

00:28:38.520 He's not in here.

00:28:39.300 So I just want that to be known.

00:28:40.860 A couple of other things before we move on in the program.

00:28:43.120 I want to let you know that I am headlining the Hollywood Improv October 10th at 8 p.m.

00:28:49.500 I got about...

00:28:50.300 We can do about 45 minutes.

00:28:52.160 Hot new material.

00:28:53.700 Cool stuff.

00:28:54.540 You're going to love it.

00:28:55.900 You can find those tickets on my website.

00:28:59.060 Theovahn.com

00:29:00.180 As well.

00:29:01.900 I got the Hampton Ain't Easy.

00:29:04.400 The tour shirts are available now at theovahn.com

00:29:07.360 Slash store.

00:29:10.080 And those have all the tour dates on it from this past year.

00:29:12.560 It's kind of a neat shirt.

00:29:13.940 It's a few dollars price here.

00:29:15.420 Because I had to get a couple extra colors put on it.

00:29:18.180 But it's a cool shirt man.

00:29:20.160 And I think it's nice to have.

00:29:21.260 If you want to get that.

00:29:22.160 You can go get it.

00:29:23.000 It has every city that I performed in this past year.

00:29:27.240 And what else?

00:29:28.160 Oh, I got a new series that's going to be...

00:29:29.960 That we're working on a pilot for for Comedy Central.

00:29:32.000 So I'm excited about that.

00:29:34.440 There's no money in it yet.

00:29:36.140 But it's going to be a neat opportunity.

00:29:39.000 And it's all a little bit based on this podcast.

00:29:41.700 So that's kind of exciting.

00:29:43.000 But I just want to thank you guys for being here with me today.

00:29:45.760 Happy Monday.

00:29:46.560 Or whatever day it is this week you're listening.

00:29:49.140 And we're going to be right back.

00:29:51.220 We're going to have Ari Maness in the studio.

00:29:52.440 We're going to check on him briefly.

00:29:53.900 Hit a couple of news topics.

00:29:55.500 And then you and I are going to get back to some of your calls.

00:29:59.460 I'll be right back.

00:30:01.400 This past weekend.

00:30:05.400 All right.

00:30:06.040 And that is everything that you need to know.

00:30:08.560 Also, if you want to support the Patreon.

00:30:10.900 You can go to patreon.com slash TheoVon.

00:30:14.560 T-H-E-O-V-O-N.

00:30:16.980 Options on there to donate.

00:30:18.840 Thank you so much to our Patreon supporters.

00:30:21.440 I really appreciate it allowing me to get a new camera.

00:30:25.120 And eventually the goal is to come out with a Thursday episode that better reflects responses from Monday's episode.

00:30:33.540 But, with that said, here's a couple of thoughts.

00:30:38.280 What about Ari?

00:30:40.360 I'd say keep him on.

00:30:41.900 He seems like a good dude.

00:30:43.020 The one thing I would say, though, is just maybe have him be a little bit funnier.

00:30:47.100 Hey, Theo.

00:30:47.700 This is Ivan.

00:30:48.660 Love your show.

00:30:49.560 As far as Ari is concerned, for someone that you want to have with you all the time, just pick someone that you enjoy being around and someone who's professional.

00:31:01.980 Be a little bit funnier.

00:31:03.520 And someone who's professional.

00:31:05.480 Be a little bit funnier.

00:31:06.740 I don't know why that did that.

00:31:08.280 You did that.

00:31:08.940 You edited that.

00:31:09.880 I would never do that.

00:31:10.660 You did do that.

00:31:12.120 You're lying.

00:31:12.780 You're lying to me and you're lying to all your fans.

00:31:15.600 There's a glitch, I think.

00:31:17.260 That was not a glitch.

00:31:18.060 Okay, fine.

00:31:18.980 There wasn't a glitch, man.

00:31:20.640 Those are two comments that just kind of, those are a couple calls that I got in, you know, and I didn't.

00:31:25.980 You said we weren't going to bring up comments again.

00:31:28.200 You said we were just going to skip past that and just go into the podcast.

00:31:31.360 You said we're not going to talk about it anymore.

00:31:33.560 We weren't.

00:31:34.600 But then you just played it.

00:31:36.600 Yeah, it's on the play sheet.

00:31:38.620 Yeah, but you said to me before I said, hey, are we going to keep going over the negative comments or are we just going to move on?

00:31:44.000 You said, oh, yeah, no, we're past that.

00:31:45.540 We are past it.

00:31:46.460 And then you just brought it up again.

00:31:47.820 But I wanted to make sure you're past it.

00:31:50.440 I was until you just brought it up again.

00:31:52.460 Now I'm back in it.

00:31:53.700 Now I'm back in.

00:31:55.280 I mean, the funnier thing, fine.

00:31:57.680 You know, comedy is subjective.

00:31:59.180 Yes.

00:31:59.380 That guy didn't think I was funny.

00:32:00.320 Some guys didn't.

00:32:00.540 No, well, that guy, yeah.

00:32:01.340 Some people did.

00:32:02.400 Some people didn't.

00:32:03.120 The professional thing, first off, I feel like I'm a professional.

00:32:07.960 Yeah.

00:32:08.060 And then secondly, you making that little mixtape.

00:32:13.080 I was, I don't know.

00:32:13.800 That's a mixtape.

00:32:14.480 You made an Ari Hayton mixtape.

00:32:16.160 Okay, that's not.

00:32:16.860 You, my friend, Theo Vaughn, made an.

00:32:20.040 Ari Hayton mixtape.

00:32:21.360 It's a remix of a couple of albums.

00:32:23.940 Okay, a remix.

00:32:24.960 You made an Ari Hayton remix.

00:32:26.960 Okay.

00:32:27.920 Which makes me think that you think I'm unprofessional.

00:32:30.980 No.

00:32:31.140 You think I'm unprofessional?

00:32:32.080 Not at all.

00:32:33.440 That's why I was going to, actually, if you'd let me gather my thoughts a little bit, I was

00:32:37.400 going to contradict what some of these guys were saying.

00:32:39.620 I don't think you were.

00:32:40.620 Really?

00:32:41.140 No.

00:32:41.600 What do you think?

00:32:42.120 I was going to let you just drown out there in the dirty water?

00:32:44.780 Just letting me out here to drown.

00:32:46.060 That's okay.

00:32:46.560 I guess that's what people want these days for entertainment.

00:32:49.740 No, I mean, look, it's very Rome.

00:32:51.460 It's very Rome these days in the podcast world, you know?

00:32:53.840 They want to see you get killed by a lion or fight a thousand squirrels.

00:32:57.280 You know, there were some men, though, if they didn't have a lion, they would get thousands

00:32:59.760 of squirrels to fight men.

00:33:01.120 Did you know that?

00:33:01.780 I did not know that.

00:33:02.920 Yeah.

00:33:03.220 Is that true?

00:33:03.860 Yeah, it's crazy, too.

00:33:04.960 You're not pulling that out of something you think might be true?

00:33:08.580 No, no, no, not at all.

00:33:09.480 It's a real thing.

00:33:10.280 All right.

00:33:11.720 Cool.

00:33:12.580 Well, here he is, guys.

00:33:15.100 Ari Manis right here.

00:33:17.020 And what I want to say is, what's going on in Ari's world?

00:33:20.260 I just want to do a check-in with Ari, so.

00:33:22.600 You know, life's good.

00:33:24.100 Me and my girlfriend, we made up.

00:33:25.940 Yeah.

00:33:26.320 Last we checked, you guys had just made love after the Grand Canyon.

00:33:28.480 Yeah, we had gotten back together after the Grand Canyon.

00:33:30.740 Things were a little shaky.

00:33:31.580 I think we're on good terms.

00:33:33.320 We went to San Diego together.

00:33:35.140 Oh, that's cool.

00:33:35.820 What was the occasion?

00:33:36.600 This past weekend, it was my younger brother Jonah's birthday, and I lined up some shows

00:33:41.060 as well.

00:33:41.500 So, I was doing some comedy, and was going to visit my 17-year-old.

00:33:44.900 I'm 18 now.

00:33:45.820 Oh, wow.

00:33:46.140 He just turned 18.

00:33:47.620 And so, we celebrated by going to the whorehouse in Tijuana, Mexico.

00:33:54.660 Really?

00:33:55.180 Yeah.

00:33:55.580 The Hong Kong.

00:33:56.420 You ever been there?

00:33:57.300 I've never been there.

00:33:58.360 Well, you should go.

00:33:58.480 Did you take Jonah?

00:33:59.920 No.

00:34:00.180 Jonah stayed behind, even though he is allowed to go.

00:34:03.020 Yeah.

00:34:03.140 Now, he's 18.

00:34:03.660 In Mexico, 18, you're allowed to fuck whores.

00:34:06.520 Oh, you're allowed to get murdered at seven or eight.

00:34:08.560 You're allowed to do anything.

00:34:09.800 Yeah.

00:34:09.960 But, no, this was just me, my girlfriend, and one of my buddies, another comedian who

00:34:15.080 was on the show.

00:34:15.840 Okay.

00:34:16.540 And, yeah, so we went, and I've been there four or five times now.

00:34:20.460 I love the place.

00:34:21.300 You just go there, $80.

00:34:22.940 You could just, you know, have your way with a woman of your choice.

00:34:25.780 Wow.

00:34:26.420 And now, do you feel any, like, emotional repercussions from that?

00:34:29.640 Do you walk out of there feeling like, you know, this isn't good for me, or this isn't

00:34:33.840 good for my psyche, or something like that?

00:34:35.360 Or do you just feel...

00:34:36.360 You know, honestly, the first time I walked out of there, I felt it was cool.

00:34:41.680 It was like, I can't believe this place exists.

00:34:44.260 Yeah.

00:34:44.460 Because, I mean, prostitution here exists, but it's this really shady, internet, secret,

00:34:52.560 grimy, dangerous, maybe.

00:34:55.280 Yeah, it's like you gotta, like, hide in a recycling bin and just wait till some kind

00:34:58.880 of, you know...

00:34:59.340 Yeah, there's all...

00:35:00.240 You tiptoe around it.

00:35:01.760 They're not called prostitutes.

00:35:03.220 They're called escorts.

00:35:04.420 There's all these rules.

00:35:05.960 Yeah.

00:35:06.580 And they do a background check.

00:35:08.500 Here, it's this legal establishment, nice establishment, in fact.

00:35:13.300 Now, when you walk in, what is it like?

00:35:14.860 Is it like a CVS?

00:35:15.980 Is it like a ready med?

00:35:18.020 Is it like a 24-hour medical center?

00:35:20.300 Like, what vibe is it?

00:35:21.820 It's kind of just like the nicest strip club I've ever been to.

00:35:25.240 I've only been to a couple strip clubs in the U.S.

00:35:28.620 And is it well lit?

00:35:29.500 How's the lighting in there?

00:35:30.960 It's lit kind of like a bar, so it's not super bright, but it's not dark.

00:35:35.880 You could definitely see around.

00:35:37.060 There's $4 beers.

00:35:38.240 There's three stories.

00:35:39.740 There's jacuzzis.

00:35:40.880 There's stripper poles.

00:35:41.780 There's women.

00:35:43.520 There's people drinking.

00:35:44.940 There's parties, bachelor parties, friends hanging out at tables, drinking beers.

00:35:51.520 And so you walk in there, and there's just all these women lined up, up and down the place,

00:35:56.860 probably, I'd say, over 100.

00:35:59.560 Can you smell crotch in the air when you walk in there?

00:36:02.640 Honestly.

00:36:03.360 Be honest.

00:36:03.900 You don't have to.

00:36:04.240 You don't smell crotch.

00:36:05.160 What you smell is cleaner?

00:36:07.240 Cleaner.

00:36:07.760 Yeah.

00:36:08.020 Cleaning products.

00:36:09.780 Wow.

00:36:09.960 And it's, I forget the name of it, but there's.

00:36:12.340 Is it scented in any way, like orange cleaner products, or is it just basic cleaning government

00:36:17.380 type of cleaning products?

00:36:18.440 I think it's basic Mexican government cleaning products.

00:36:22.320 Okay.

00:36:22.480 Because it smells a little different than the cleaning products here.

00:36:26.740 Yeah.

00:36:27.000 It smells like 99 cent store cleaning product.

00:36:29.260 Right.

00:36:29.680 So it smells like you're just.

00:36:30.720 Lower end cleaning product.

00:36:31.940 Right.

00:36:32.180 Maybe the cleaning products aren't as good, but the people who are doing the cleaning work

00:36:34.860 harder.

00:36:35.960 Yeah.

00:36:36.380 They work good.

00:36:36.920 It felt clean.

00:36:38.160 Right.

00:36:38.440 And yeah, there was no part of me while I was there that was thinking, this place is

00:36:42.060 gross.

00:36:42.500 Because in America, yeah, you get a $3 Windex, or a Shine-X, or whatever.

00:36:46.280 It's three bucks.

00:36:47.400 But the person doing the work's putting in a dollar's worth of effort.

00:36:50.340 That's right.

00:36:50.700 But down in Mexico, you get a dollar's worth of product.

00:36:53.000 Yeah.

00:36:53.300 But you get $3 worth of effort.

00:36:54.620 I think that's.

00:36:55.500 I never thought about that, and you're spot on with that.

00:36:59.120 So you go in there, and you do it.

00:37:00.360 And I've been there three or four times.

00:37:01.820 Now, were you nervous when you walk in?

00:37:03.280 Because I would be extremely nervous in there.

00:37:06.480 I was only nervous this time because I'm with my girlfriend.

00:37:09.520 Okay.

00:37:10.480 And she says she's cool with it.

00:37:12.200 She's like, I don't care.

00:37:13.440 They're just prostitutes.

00:37:14.880 You're not cheating on me.

00:37:15.900 If we go here, she even, she was thinking she would get into it.

00:37:19.540 She goes, I'd be down to watch you have sex with a prostitute.

00:37:22.540 Wow.

00:37:22.900 And I think that could be, you know, kind of hot and fun.

00:37:26.300 Yeah.

00:37:26.720 So we go in there.

00:37:28.060 It's very Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri.

00:37:30.380 And that's swinger country if you never spent time on Lake of the Ozarks.

00:37:33.060 Yeah, I didn't know what you were referring to.

00:37:33.660 Oh, yeah.

00:37:34.320 There's a good, I wandered into a swingers weekend up there one time on accident.

00:37:40.440 Yeah.

00:37:40.680 Did you partake?

00:37:41.920 No, I couldn't do anything.

00:37:43.120 I could watch the bingo that they played.

00:37:45.260 And then I wasn't supposed to get in the elevator from like 11 to 1 a.m.

00:37:48.300 because it was basically just like a fuck trolley just going up and down the building.

00:37:51.780 But I did press the button one time and the doors opened.

00:37:54.920 And there was just a brother in there just putting down the hammer on some older white women.

00:38:01.060 But anyway, go on.

00:38:02.480 So we go in there.

00:38:04.360 She's drinking a little bit more than me.

00:38:06.380 Okay.

00:38:06.720 She gets sussed up, which made me think she's uncomfortable.

00:38:09.640 Yeah.

00:38:10.460 And that made me a little uncomfortable.

00:38:13.920 And I kind of just got this vibe that she was just pretending to be into this whole experience.

00:38:19.820 Your girlfriend?

00:38:20.300 To be cool.

00:38:21.280 Yeah, to be the cool girlfriend.

00:38:24.100 Of course.

00:38:24.380 That is letting me have sex with a prostitute.

00:38:26.840 So I didn't end up doing it.

00:38:28.400 Yeah.

00:38:28.600 I ended up not partaking.

00:38:30.200 Did it feel like a gang?

00:38:31.300 Because at that point, when you say that, the cool girlfriend that's letting me have sex with a prostitute,

00:38:34.920 that makes me think like gang.

00:38:36.760 Like somebody that's in a gang.

00:38:38.720 No.

00:38:39.240 Like she's in a gang?

00:38:40.480 No.

00:38:40.900 Like this is all some type of gang type of that seems like something that happens in gangs.

00:38:44.880 You know, like I'm going to bang your friend.

00:38:47.440 You know, you stay here.

00:38:48.900 You have this snack or something and I'm going to bang your friend.

00:38:51.640 You know, like.

00:38:52.300 Sounds like you know more about gangs than I do.

00:38:54.360 I don't know.

00:38:54.460 But there's like initiation type stuff and the girls probably play along with stuff to seem cool and comfortable.

00:38:59.240 You know?

00:39:00.060 Yeah.

00:39:00.460 It just felt like maybe because we were on weird turns from our last fight and she wanted to be like.

00:39:06.540 Yeah.

00:39:06.640 Who takes their girlfriend to the Grand, gets in a fight at the Grand Canyon and to make up for it, takes them down to a hooker house in Tijuana.

00:39:14.720 Yeah.

00:39:15.180 It was just one of those things we, I've, I've talked about hookers on stage.

00:39:18.500 Sometimes she doesn't know, she knows I had been there.

00:39:20.520 I'm open about my life.

00:39:22.000 Did anybody there know you when you got there?

00:39:23.880 No, but I did actually see one of the prostitutes I had prior experiences with, but she did not remember me at all.

00:39:31.720 Really?

00:39:32.040 Or seemed to notice me.

00:39:33.280 And did your girlfriend, did you tell your girlfriend you've been with that woman?

00:39:36.000 I did.

00:39:36.680 Wow.

00:39:37.000 I said, I got that one last time.

00:39:39.780 And she was like, oh, cool.

00:39:41.800 And so, and I don't think that bothered her.

00:39:44.380 We're fine from this whole experience.

00:39:46.540 Nothing affected our relationship from this.

00:39:49.160 I think mainly though, because I was keen enough and I picked up on the fact that she didn't really want me to do it and she didn't really want to see that.

00:39:57.400 And I felt that.

00:39:58.480 So, uh, because I'm a gentleman and because I care about her, I decided, hey, I don't want it.

00:40:06.080 I said, I don't really want to do this.

00:40:07.840 I said, you're prettier than all these girls.

00:40:10.180 You're much more beautiful, which is true.

00:40:11.380 She is prettier than all those girls.

00:40:12.500 Yeah.

00:40:12.680 She's a pretty lady.

00:40:13.160 And I said, we don't need to do this.

00:40:15.660 We got some delicious street tacos right outside, a Mexican taco truck there.

00:40:20.760 Right outside?

00:40:21.600 Yeah.

00:40:21.840 Right outside the whorehouse.

00:40:22.920 There's this taco truck.

00:40:24.320 We got a whole plate of tacos for four bucks.

00:40:26.600 Together?

00:40:27.220 Together.

00:40:27.660 We pigged out.

00:40:28.240 It was delicious.

00:40:29.200 Wow.

00:40:29.660 And then we got back to my parents' house, 4 a.m., crashed out on the air mattress, woke up, drove back here.

00:40:36.320 Unbelievable, dude.

00:40:37.380 Yeah.

00:40:37.900 It's almost like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.

00:40:40.340 Yeah, except better.

00:40:43.760 Interesting.

00:40:44.340 Ari Manis.

00:40:45.480 Well, I appreciate that check-in, man.

00:40:46.920 I appreciate you letting us know what's going on.

00:40:49.320 Yeah.

00:40:49.580 Why don't you lead us into a couple of news categories?

00:40:52.240 First category, speaking of, you know, sex, semen-contaminated flutes might have been given to children.

00:41:00.780 So, the California school officials warn that several school districts in Southern California, there were a flute donation, musical donation from this man, I guess, who started an organization called Flutes Across the World.

00:41:13.960 Mm-hmm.

00:41:14.760 And now they think that the flutes he donated in, he also jerked off onto and then gave them to kids.

00:41:21.760 Wow.

00:41:24.580 Hmm.

00:41:25.420 I mean, that's, uh, how are they going to know?

00:41:28.520 So, it's said in the story, they don't know how this came, how they found out, but someone found out.

00:41:34.840 But there's semen everywhere.

00:41:36.540 Like, it's like when you walk into a motel or a hotel or an abandoned building, you know, when you find a stray dog, you know, like, you could go look on the YouTube, man.

00:41:48.060 There's people out there spending way inaccurate time with animals, you know?

00:41:52.660 It's like, there's semen on everything.

00:41:55.220 We're made out of semen.

00:41:56.940 When you think about it.

00:41:57.840 We're from it.

00:41:58.520 Everybody wants to walk around and act like, you know, it's this taboo product.

00:42:04.120 You know, like it's something that people are, you know, secretly bussing in from China or something, or from Korea.

00:42:11.560 We're semen.

00:42:13.200 You are semen, dude.

00:42:14.600 I agree with what you're saying, 100%.

00:42:16.880 So, a little on a flute from some kid who's even more recently of seed than us.

00:42:24.580 I just, ugh.

00:42:26.820 Who are they going to say did it?

00:42:27.800 I'm sure they'll probably say Trump did it.

00:42:29.060 No, they're saying the guy who donated the flutes did it.

00:42:31.980 But what I'm saying.

00:42:33.060 Well, you know what?

00:42:33.740 That doesn't surprise me.

00:42:34.540 A guy that has a bunch of flutes?

00:42:36.420 Yeah.

00:42:37.000 Seems like a guy that probably is jerking off on the stuff.

00:42:39.660 First of all, if you know anybody that has more than one flute, I'd phone them in right now, bro.

00:42:45.500 And the number to call for that is 911.

00:42:48.600 I say you get what you pay for.

00:42:49.960 They took these free flutes.

00:42:51.300 Yeah.

00:42:51.600 They're free flutes.

00:42:52.700 Yeah.

00:42:52.840 You can't be complaining about, if you don't want semen on your flutes, then buy brand new flutes on Amazon.

00:42:58.440 But if you're going to take these donated flutes, yeah, you get what you pay for.

00:43:01.360 Yeah, that's the thing.

00:43:02.300 You want a handful of free marbles, dude?

00:43:04.060 They smell like the inside of my ass?

00:43:06.240 You know what?

00:43:07.480 That's life, dude.

00:43:08.280 And that's God's plan for us right now.

00:43:10.800 All right.

00:43:11.320 That's the news, man.

00:43:11.900 Speaking of that, that's the news.

00:43:13.020 Let's get into one call right here while we've got R.A. Madison's studio.

00:43:16.760 Here we go.

00:43:19.840 And the number is 985-664-9503.

00:43:24.220 You can always hit the hotline with any thoughts, comments, concerns, or questions.

00:43:31.280 Let's tap into this right here.

00:43:32.580 What up, dude?

00:43:37.480 The name's Chep Toy.

00:43:39.540 Chep Toy.

00:43:41.000 Asian?

00:43:41.760 Chep Toy?

00:43:42.360 You're thinking of Joe Coy.

00:43:45.620 From Kentucky.

00:43:47.440 Louisville, Kentucky.

00:43:48.400 I just wanted to let you know that I, too, had a hair removal procedure.

00:43:57.600 This is in response to the hair transplant that I got almost 14 days ago.

00:44:04.040 I kid you not, man, but it wasn't on my dome.

00:44:07.380 It was on my face.

00:44:09.160 So, you know, I have a hard time growing a beard.

00:44:12.500 I got that engine in me.

00:44:14.800 And that means Native American.

00:44:16.360 I don't think he's talking about hemi.

00:44:18.600 But he, and I know what he's talking about, actually.

00:44:21.000 There's part of my throat, it's almost like a choke mark,

00:44:23.820 where I swear my mother choked me when I was young that will not grow hair.

00:44:27.580 Yeah, I can't grow a full beard.

00:44:28.940 Yeah, that thing is way shoddy, dude.

00:44:32.600 Okay, well, no.

00:44:33.820 You keep bringing me down.

00:44:35.360 My bad, dude.

00:44:35.960 You know, it doesn't look that bad.

00:44:37.520 It looks like scruff.

00:44:39.340 Some chicks like that.

00:44:40.500 Yeah, it looks like you've been kind of living in New York, but outdoors.

00:44:44.000 Yeah.

00:44:44.220 And my family.

00:44:46.740 And so I can't grow a lot of facial hair.

00:44:51.440 Okay, guy.

00:44:52.220 Well, let's get to it.

00:44:54.700 So, you know, if you grow like a chin beard or a neck beard, you know, the hairs are a little greasy.

00:45:03.440 Chin beard and neck beard look a lot like pubes.

00:45:07.220 They do.

00:45:07.720 And so I'm actually going through the procedure right now of getting some pubes.

00:45:14.540 I got plenty of those transported to my face.

00:45:19.940 I'm a little worried, though.

00:45:21.400 I asked for your prayer requests.

00:45:25.120 Just want to let you know, let you know that you're not alone in this.

00:45:28.660 And God bless you.

00:45:32.180 Wow.

00:45:33.040 He took it to the Lord at the end.

00:45:35.540 And I've been at Halloween before where we, you know, we needed beards and stuff.

00:45:39.960 And we would cut off pubes and each other's pubes because some people had better stock.

00:45:45.460 And use that to make our beards and mustaches for Halloween, you know, outfits.

00:45:53.180 What do you think about this, guy?

00:45:54.660 What do you think about this, Ari, about getting that transplant?

00:45:57.680 If this is real, to me, that sounds like a prank phone call.

00:46:00.260 Really?

00:46:00.960 I thought about it.

00:46:02.000 I don't think it does.

00:46:02.920 So you think it's real.

00:46:03.700 So if he's really getting his pubes to his neck, he's transplanting his pubes and moving them to his neck,

00:46:11.740 I think there's a bigger issue.

00:46:13.920 Why is he so insecure about not being able to grow a beard?

00:46:17.560 Right.

00:46:17.880 Just shave your face.

00:46:19.100 Just don't be a beard guy.

00:46:20.680 Just be a shaven man.

00:46:23.120 You know?

00:46:23.780 I mean, it's just an old prison trick.

00:46:25.620 Like, in prison, a lot of times, if you read a lot of these old, like, prison diaries and stuff,

00:46:30.080 and you can get a lot of these on the deep web, which is just like they've digitized prison diaries.

00:46:37.180 And you can read about the things they did at Halloween.

00:46:39.080 And a lot of the things they did was use different types of body stuff that they had,

00:46:45.780 even dandruff that they would collect all year to make different types of costumes and stuff like that, you know?

00:46:53.140 So it's pretty interesting to hear, you know?

00:46:55.120 Like a guy would be like, you know, Tony Montana.

00:46:59.140 But it would be like, you know, four or five, six people's dandruff that he would use to make the cocaine stream coming out of his face.

00:47:06.260 You know, and it's almost, it's almost spookier that way.

00:47:10.220 You know, when you leave the house with four people's dandruff glued to your cheek.

00:47:14.760 Yeah, that's scary as shit.

00:47:16.120 And your cousin and a pubic mustache made out of your, that your cousin grew for you.

00:47:21.180 You know?

00:47:21.900 That's Rochester, New York right there.

00:47:23.640 It could be a little bit funnier.

00:47:25.020 Oh, this is broken again.

00:47:26.000 No, it's not broken.

00:47:27.000 It could be a little bit funnier.

00:47:29.000 Oh, God.

00:47:30.520 Yeah, I guess I forgive you.

00:47:32.380 Thanks for having me on, buddy.

00:47:33.660 You bet.

00:47:34.140 Ari Manis, ladies and gentlemen.

00:47:36.220 And I'll be right back in just a second with, we're going to get into the rest of these calls.

00:47:40.120 We've got some great ones.

00:47:42.580 This past weekend.

00:47:46.740 Okay, and we are back with Ari Manis is out of here.

00:47:51.540 You know, I think we're just going to continue to try this for another week at least.

00:47:55.440 See how it fits with Ari.

00:47:57.580 I liked him, you know, I like checking in with his life to see what's going on.

00:48:02.000 And I like having a couple of news segments that I don't have to think about and prepare so it can be kind of fresh to me.

00:48:09.180 But let's get into some of your calls.

00:48:12.980 We had a lot of great calls about the NFL and a lot of great calls about the sitting, taking a knee, the national anthem issues.

00:48:24.460 And I thought a little bit more about it over this past week.

00:48:28.600 And I think everybody did because it's something that's, you know, that's in the air, you know.

00:48:33.220 And certainly in the past few years I've found myself thinking a lot more like what are my thoughts innately and feelings innately towards people that are different than me.

00:48:49.980 You know, where do I stand?

00:48:51.860 What do I think?

00:48:53.380 What do I feel?

00:48:54.380 I find myself doing that more.

00:48:56.520 And I think that that's great.

00:48:57.660 Awareness is, awareness is eventually key in every aspect of your life.

00:49:04.540 But what I'm also noticing is and hearing about that the take a knee thing was very vague.

00:49:11.480 It was like, okay, well, we're upset at racial injustice.

00:49:17.100 Then we're upset at Trump.

00:49:18.760 And then we're like, it's a police brutality.

00:49:22.180 It was like, well, what's it for?

00:49:24.680 You know, I understand it's for different things.

00:49:26.300 But it was just, this is the first year that I really felt like it was, you know, it just seemed, because if you, if you, it almost started to make it so that the awareness stuff is starting to lose some of its effect.

00:49:42.840 That's what I felt like, because every week and every day, if you keep saying, oh, this is about awareness, this, this batch of cupcakes is about Black Lives Matter.

00:49:55.440 This, this, this casserole is for DACA repeal.

00:50:01.840 This, if every, if every, it just, it gets to be overwhelming so that nothing is for anything.

00:50:09.260 Because if you're saying that everything is something, then nothing is for anything.

00:50:12.840 You know, it's like, it just wears it out.

00:50:14.840 And I think people are starting to get worn out.

00:50:18.560 And I've noticed from different friends of mine that, that they're just, there seems to be this vibe that people are just tired of hearing constantly about blame.

00:50:31.340 You know, if you want to blame white people forever about the issues of the world, then you can start in Britain.

00:50:37.040 You know, the civilization, humanity, civilization apparently began in Africa and Egypt, I think.

00:50:46.340 So if you want to go all the way back to there, keep on going.

00:50:51.000 We can keep cruising through the history books.

00:50:53.980 And you want to blame it on two organisms in a desert that got hit by lightning?

00:50:58.820 Or you want to blame it on two monkeys that met in the woods?

00:51:01.940 Or you want to blame it on Adam and Eve?

00:51:03.780 I mean, at a certain point, you're just going to keep, like, at a certain point, we just have to look at where we are.

00:51:10.920 And we have to look at what role we are also currently playing in our own problems.

00:51:16.980 Because that's some of the issue that I start to have personally is, well, yeah, I know that there's, I know that there's issues in America where there are racial injustices.

00:51:27.400 I know that some people are, don't have as good of opportunities as other people.

00:51:31.940 I know those things.

00:51:32.840 I think that most people want to fix them and are happy to find ways to do that.

00:51:40.020 But if someone just constantly just yells, everything is wrong, everything is wrong, at a certain point, they're not helping, I don't feel like.

00:51:50.900 They're not helping to be part of the solution.

00:51:52.840 So I guess I'm just trying to be a little bit more solution oriented, you know.

00:51:59.020 And also, what role do you play in your own problems?

00:52:03.320 You know, like, yes, there's tons of problems in the black community.

00:52:06.440 But there's also, some of those problems are problems that the black community needs to help solve for, needs to at least work together with other people to solve for themselves.

00:52:17.860 You know, like, not everything is white people's fault.

00:52:21.800 You know, if you are, you know, and I hate to use black and white just as the only example, but that's just like the biggest example that's going on right now.

00:52:32.100 You know, but I just hate to see activism get diluted by being overused.

00:52:41.000 And maybe that's naive of me to think that that's not even possible.

00:52:44.900 And I'm open if that's the case, then I'm open to be corrected there.

00:52:49.020 But I just hate to see, it's not like the boy who cried wolf.

00:52:52.920 It's just like the wolf keeps crying boy.

00:52:55.840 It's like the wolf just says boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, you know.

00:53:01.120 And there's no, there's never any real communication between the boy and the wolf.

00:53:05.740 It's just the wolf keeps yelling boy.

00:53:09.280 And at a certain point, it's like you can't hear the wolf yelling boy anymore.

00:53:14.440 Because they just won't stop yelling it.

00:53:18.680 And you think that the wolf may have autism.

00:53:22.060 And that's how we came back full circle on autism.

00:53:24.780 And people say, well, Theo, you can't talk about autism.

00:53:27.060 Guess what?

00:53:28.000 If I show up on the spectrum, then I can.

00:53:30.960 And if you want to put me to a test, I'll take it any day of the week, dude.

00:53:33.820 You can blindfold me and put both my hands under a baby's ass and put a number two pencil in my mouth.

00:53:40.740 And I'll fucking take that test on my tongue.

00:53:42.380 And you'll be like, well, I don't know if you have autism.

00:53:45.400 Well, only an autistic person could do that.

00:53:48.600 So check yourself.

00:53:49.740 Let's get to some of your thoughts and feelings right here.

00:53:51.560 Here we go.

00:53:53.680 On the NFL, take a knee.

00:53:55.620 You were talking about taking a knee for the anthem during football games.

00:54:01.060 Now, I don't really see what taking a knee during a football game has anything to do with police brutality.

00:54:08.380 So I don't really see the connection of the protest.

00:54:14.200 However, as far as what my opinion is on them actually taking a knee, I think as a country, we shouldn't demand patriotism from people.

00:54:26.380 Oh, it's interesting.

00:54:28.280 Interesting thought.

00:54:29.480 Like, yeah, patriotism, you can't demand that out of somebody that they care about America.

00:54:37.180 That's true.

00:54:39.520 To me, that feels unfortunate that they don't.

00:54:42.740 But it feels true that we shouldn't be able to demand it.

00:54:45.600 Onward.

00:54:45.840 Demanding patriotism from people is the sort of thing that the Nazis and the Soviets used to do.

00:54:53.600 Now, if somebody feels a general dissatisfaction with their nation and doesn't think that their nation deserves patriotism from them,

00:55:01.840 then I kind of support their right to do that.

00:55:04.100 However, at the same time, I kind of think the whole kneeling for the anthem thing doesn't really send the message of a protest against police brutality.

00:55:13.720 And I love the podcast.

00:55:17.180 Yeah, it just seemed a little vague.

00:55:18.800 It seemed a little vague as to what was going on and what was happening.

00:55:22.940 But yeah, you can't demand patriotism.

00:55:25.220 I mean, he's right.

00:55:25.940 That's very – that's how a lot of, you know, evility gets started in the world.

00:55:31.100 You would hope that people have it.

00:55:32.880 But I guess we're just in such a diverse and different and a time now where people – some people have it and some people don't.

00:55:46.040 Maybe America is such a melting pot now where a lot of places, you don't see that much patriotism.

00:55:53.800 You know, I mean, I'll be honest.

00:55:54.800 Here in Los Angeles, I don't see it very much.

00:55:56.900 I can go seek it out.

00:55:58.140 You know, on Veterans Day, I can go to the cemetery or on the 4th of July, I can go to an event.

00:56:04.340 But otherwise, you don't see a lot of American flags here in Los Angeles.

00:56:11.140 You know, I think maybe some places are just so diverse where some people, it's not – they don't care about America first even.

00:56:19.680 I mean, I think some people do, but there's also a vibe in some places where they don't.

00:56:23.860 You know, and that's okay.

00:56:27.040 You know, some people look at America almost as like an airport, it seems like, for the rest of the world where you can come here and you can live here and you can shop here and you can get a hotel here and stay here.

00:56:42.060 And then you can go back on to wherever, you know, you care about more.

00:56:45.980 You know, that's – I think that's a vibe in some places.

00:56:50.340 But I think you just have to find a place then that reflects a little bit more of your – of what you desire.

00:56:56.240 Because then you can live in a reality that is a little more comfortable for you.

00:57:01.160 I think it's – you still should recognize that there are these other realities out there though.

00:57:05.960 But I don't think there's anything wrong with living in one where you think you're best suited for.

00:57:11.420 All right, let's go on to another call here.

00:57:14.420 Theo, hey, it's Logan.

00:57:16.680 Doing some weird stuff down here.

00:57:20.940 Okay, Logan.

00:57:22.220 Thank you for calling.

00:57:23.020 Doing some weird stuff down here.

00:57:25.960 I don't know what that is, but I appreciate you checking in with us onward.

00:57:29.980 So you are asking about comments about the kneeling.

00:57:34.380 And I thought I might try it at a different angle.

00:57:39.420 See what you had to say.

00:57:40.740 Okay, so a lot of times people want to – it seems America is mostly about convenience.

00:57:49.160 About convenience, he's saying.

00:57:51.440 Go ahead.

00:57:51.840 So, like, you don't see people standing up at the bar when the National Anthem comes on.

00:57:58.040 You don't see people standing up at home when the National Anthem comes on.

00:58:01.320 I'm not necessarily going to comment on the exact kneeling aside from I don't really disagree with it.

00:58:08.900 But I'm kind of in the neutral zone.

00:58:12.360 Can't really do much harm.

00:58:13.760 It's up to the owners.

00:58:14.940 I mean, it's up to the owners and the advertisers.

00:58:17.220 It's not my fight.

00:58:18.960 It's that they're using their field.

00:58:23.960 Okay, so he's saying that these players, you know, if their owners are allowing them, the team owners are allowing them to do that, then, you know,

00:58:33.020 and that's where they want to use their stance to show uniformity and take a knee, then that's where they can do it.

00:58:40.820 You know, that it's up to the owners.

00:58:42.800 And in the end, that's really true.

00:58:43.980 I think if a lot of those owners started saying, you're not going to get a paycheck, you know, I wonder how those people would adjust, you know,

00:58:53.020 because there's a lot of people in Los Angeles who, you know, were probably afraid to say that they were Trump supporters or were voting for Trump because afraid they would lose their jobs, you know,

00:59:03.700 or in most of America or in different places and vice versa.

00:59:06.840 I'm sure there were a lot of people, you know, in other places that were afraid to say that they were Hillary supporters or they would lose their jobs, you know,

00:59:15.680 and that's unfortunate.

00:59:16.500 I think that we're at a point where people, you know, don't want to or can't, that we can't even be open to other people's perspectives and ideas, you know.

00:59:30.440 I think if it's a dangerous perspective or idea, we can totally not accept it, but I think you still have to find ways to be able to hear it and to be open to it, you know,

00:59:41.840 because you might learn, you might change your mind, you know, and change, I think, is always good.

00:59:48.100 Even if you just change your mind a little bit and take a little piece of what they know or their perspective, you know.

00:59:54.440 I mean, I'm grateful right here because I'm thinking about some different perspectives because you guys are calling in with them.

00:59:58.140 But that's true.

01:00:00.140 He's also saying, like, how big of an, like, people at bars aren't standing up and doing the Pledge of Allegiance, you know.

01:00:07.040 Could you imagine that if everybody in a bar?

01:00:09.140 Now, in some countries, they may.

01:00:10.760 You know, I feel like if you get to some of these other countries, you're at an Irish bar or something and it's a soccer game,

01:00:17.140 that they might really get down and put that hand on the chest.

01:00:19.560 But I don't think that they're doing that here in America, you know.

01:00:23.400 So it's, but then it's, that's part of the being at the game.

01:00:26.480 It's like when you're at the event, that's where people do it.

01:00:31.960 But I'm also thinking, like, I'm feeling that even after a week or so of this going on, that people are starting to lose.

01:00:38.860 They almost just don't care what these players do, you know.

01:00:42.000 And not because they're black or not because they're white or because they're Latino.

01:00:45.720 And there's only a few Asian players, I believe.

01:00:48.280 But just because they're just, it's getting hack.

01:00:53.480 Hack, it's getting old.

01:00:55.560 It's getting old without us having more of a direction for solution.

01:01:01.380 And I think that it's getting old just pointing fingers.

01:01:05.380 And not pointing the finger also at oneself to figure out how can we better, better, you know,

01:01:16.600 how can we better achieve the successes that we want in America.

01:01:23.540 All right.

01:01:24.280 Let's grab another call on Take a Knee.

01:01:26.660 Here we go.

01:01:28.360 Hey, Dio.

01:01:28.980 This is Brant from Tacoma, Washington.

01:01:31.160 Hey, Brant.

01:01:32.640 I appreciate you calling, brother.

01:01:33.840 Tacoma.

01:01:34.720 Now, that is outside of Seattle, probably about maybe 15 miles.

01:01:41.320 And that is a little bit of cowboy country.

01:01:44.560 And if you like pine trees and evergreens and cowboys at the same time, you can get that in Tacoma.

01:01:52.300 Now, sometimes people think of Seattle.

01:01:53.980 That's fish country.

01:01:54.880 You know, and that's up there, people, you know, they got men even breastfeeding children and people shaving their chest hair and making wallets out of them and all that kind of stuff.

01:02:04.880 You know, a bunch of dream catcher addicts and people, you know, eating homemade cinnamon made out of their own, you know, skin flakes and flavors out of nature.

01:02:15.920 But if you get outside of Seattle, not even far, Tacoma is a little more cowboy country.

01:02:24.120 So they might have fish out there, but they call it water cattle.

01:02:27.220 That's what they call fish over there in Tacoma.

01:02:28.920 They call it water cattle because that's the livestock of that salty H2O.

01:02:36.160 All right.

01:02:36.500 Onward.

01:02:36.760 I have a comment about the NFL players kneeling before the game for the anthem.

01:02:43.520 I think it's definitely another issue where the media is having another tool to exploit the vision in America.

01:02:52.700 I think there's a lot of that going on right now.

01:02:55.760 You can see it in the local news.

01:02:58.300 You'll get some polls of people that are going to boycott teams, and half of them are saying they're going to boycott the season and the team,

01:03:05.880 and half of them say that they aren't.

01:03:07.900 And that's a good point.

01:03:09.740 Like the media doesn't even, if you notice with these polls now, it's half and half.

01:03:16.140 A lot of the polls, oh, it's always half and half.

01:03:19.620 Really?

01:03:21.080 That's striking.

01:03:22.380 Because if they can keep it half and half, then they can keep it, then they can make it seem divided.

01:03:30.200 And that's just interesting, man.

01:03:31.800 It used to be a poll was a real poll.

01:03:33.660 You know, and not since the election have I trusted any polls.

01:03:37.820 I don't care who the poll is from.

01:03:40.240 Because the problem is the people taking the polls and the people running the polling companies,

01:03:46.300 the friends or whoever they're even polling, they don't even, those people are just like people.

01:03:54.680 You know, a buddy of mine runs a network here in Los Angeles, and he's telling me that, you know,

01:03:59.960 well, the first thing we do when we want to see if a show is good, we take it downstairs and we ask everybody who works in our company.

01:04:06.100 Yeah, but 98% of the people working in your company have gone through the same schools or, you know,

01:04:13.200 friends of who are already in the company got them the job.

01:04:15.880 It's just, it's like just asking the same person.

01:04:20.080 You know, that's why I feel like taking polls where you don't have an accurate group to take them from just doesn't end well.

01:04:29.860 But yeah, it's kind of fascinating that the polls are always 50-50 now,

01:04:32.900 and that that behooves the media the most because it keeps people arguing.

01:04:37.140 And that's not every case. I understand that. Onward.

01:04:40.360 You know, it's a 50-50 divide, similar to what you're seeing with bipartisan affiliation and what people are doing there.

01:04:50.720 You have the Charlottesville issue and just a lot of division in America right now, in the U.S.

01:04:56.660 And the media is highlighting it. You know, the media is supposed to be a tool that helps inform us,

01:05:03.020 but it's certainly changing something different to where it's entertainment and it's ruining people

01:05:09.480 and it's giving us all false impressions of what's actually going on.

01:05:14.160 That's true. That's a good point.

01:05:17.060 You know, and I feel most bad. I appreciate you calling.

01:05:20.280 And these are some good points.

01:05:21.540 And I feel most, I feel most bad, and that's not the right term, but I can't think of it right now.

01:05:27.160 I feel most bad for seniors, you know, who are older, who are in hospice, who are, you know,

01:05:34.180 maybe their spouse has passed away, left for heaven or wherever.

01:05:39.100 And they've always thought that the world was a good, you know, a good enough place.

01:05:43.660 And they thought that maybe they're leaving the world better for their children

01:05:47.940 or that they, you know, they raised their kids right their whole life or did the best they could.

01:05:53.360 We'll say that.

01:05:54.720 And then now here you have, and they don't realize that the news has turned into this,

01:05:58.860 that the media has turned into this element that's not reliable, that's not just sharing information.

01:06:06.360 And that's sad.

01:06:08.000 You know, that's sad because they think that then, you know, I bet that causes a lot of depression in them.

01:06:13.120 You know, a lot of new senior depression because suddenly the world that they thought was a better place

01:06:18.280 that they were leaving behind, it probably isn't as bad, but it looks that bad,

01:06:24.740 and they don't know the difference.

01:06:26.300 Maybe because of senility, because they're not as in touch with the vibe these days.

01:06:31.840 They don't realize that, you know, some of what the media is doing is not healthy.

01:06:36.780 But I agree.

01:06:38.940 The polls are 50, let's keep them 50-50.

01:06:41.360 That way things are dividing.

01:06:43.660 You know, and I do, I think that we are better than the media makes us out to be,

01:06:48.640 than the news makes us out to be.

01:06:50.160 I really do.

01:06:51.820 And I think that these are good times.

01:06:55.040 You know, I mentioned this a couple weeks ago.

01:06:56.500 I had lunch with Howie Mandel a month or so ago.

01:07:00.120 And, you know, he's been a friend of me for a few years now.

01:07:03.460 And he said, this is right when the Charlottesville stuff happened.

01:07:07.300 And he said, you know, I'm happy that this kind of thing is happening.

01:07:10.460 And Howie's Jewish, I think at least half Jewish, if you can even just be half.

01:07:14.760 But he said, I'm glad this kind of stuff is happening,

01:07:18.000 because now at least you know who people are.

01:07:20.980 You know, before you don't, you don't, maybe you didn't know where the guy across the street stood.

01:07:25.180 You know, what his thoughts were, what his real feelings were.

01:07:28.180 You know, but at least now there's at least a vibe where you do know,

01:07:32.480 you know, some people are coming, feelings that have been hidden under people's brains

01:07:37.180 are coming to the surface and making people think and making people act.

01:07:44.360 You know, but I appreciate that call.

01:07:46.340 Let's keep it cruising here.

01:07:47.620 Here we go.

01:07:51.040 Hey, Theo.

01:07:52.280 It's all about the NFL players kneeling.

01:07:55.720 Now, I'm coming from a place of a white privilege.

01:07:58.020 I'm a white dude.

01:07:59.580 So obviously I had white privilege growing up.

01:08:03.320 My dad was, he was the 10th of 10 children.

01:08:08.580 Ooh, 10 out of 10.

01:08:11.560 Dang, boy.

01:08:12.460 Okay, that's that postmaker's dozen, boy.

01:08:16.560 10 children.

01:08:17.800 Onward.

01:08:19.780 Postmakers, post, postman's dozen.

01:08:22.860 Onward.

01:08:23.940 Lived in a two-bedroom house on a clay road in Alabama.

01:08:28.180 Oh, y'all got to get asphalt, man.

01:08:30.160 If you don't have any asphalt, hit up some gypsies.

01:08:32.600 If you got any gypsy friends that live out there in the Midwest or whatever,

01:08:36.120 they'll sell you some bad to probably decent asphalt.

01:08:39.980 Onward.

01:08:40.280 When I was born, he was making minimum wage.

01:08:44.240 He was supporting my mom and two other kids.

01:08:47.180 Suffered from depression and anxiety.

01:08:49.860 Died in his early 60s from drinking and drugging.

01:08:52.420 But you know what my white privilege was is when my dad told me,

01:08:56.040 son, I don't care if you grow up to be a ditch digger.

01:08:59.360 If you do grow up to be a ditch digger, you'd be the best damn ditch digger there is.

01:09:03.780 And that's my privilege.

01:09:05.480 My dad told me to work hard.

01:09:06.840 What I'm afraid is happening with these NFL players.

01:09:10.280 I got these young, impressionable kids looking up to these guys.

01:09:13.760 They're kneeling on the field and the message they're taking home,

01:09:16.820 the message these kids are taking home,

01:09:19.040 is someone's out to get me.

01:09:21.860 I can't do it.

01:09:23.220 Why even try?

01:09:24.100 There's a whole system against me.

01:09:26.780 Why should I even try?

01:09:30.060 I appreciate your call.

01:09:31.980 That's an interesting take.

01:09:33.940 You know, if you're a child at home,

01:09:36.180 if you're a black child,

01:09:37.880 maybe even if you're a mixed child,

01:09:41.160 you know, I don't know.

01:09:41.960 I mean, I'm not these children.

01:09:44.200 You know, I don't have these children.

01:09:46.760 But could that affect a way,

01:09:48.520 if you see, you know,

01:09:50.860 even your heroes saying that

01:09:54.100 they don't have,

01:09:55.920 that maybe your race doesn't have a chance?

01:09:59.000 Or if you catch that vibe from some of this,

01:10:01.620 could that be negative for them?

01:10:03.700 Could that make them not want to work as hard?

01:10:05.700 It could be.

01:10:08.660 You know, it could be.

01:10:09.580 I appreciate your call

01:10:10.380 and I appreciate that thought.

01:10:12.460 Let's move on to another one.

01:10:13.860 And look, I'm just,

01:10:14.680 I'm happy to have you guys' calls and thoughts here, man.

01:10:16.640 You know, this is a big topic

01:10:17.700 that a lot of people had thoughts on.

01:10:19.500 Here we go.

01:10:20.620 Hey, Theo.

01:10:21.540 My name's Shea from Indiana.

01:10:23.700 Thank you for calling Shea.

01:10:24.920 Indiana.

01:10:26.720 And actually, I just got a call recently

01:10:28.100 that said that Indiana was not the home

01:10:29.500 of the Ku Klux Klan,

01:10:30.340 that it was actually somewhere in Tennessee.

01:10:32.380 So I have to look that up.

01:10:34.260 Wherever it was,

01:10:35.700 bummer.

01:10:37.420 Onward.

01:10:38.740 I served 12 years in the Army Infantry.

01:10:42.200 And...

01:10:42.800 Thank you for your service.

01:10:44.040 Onward.

01:10:45.580 I understand protesting

01:10:46.840 and I'm not,

01:10:47.620 I'm not unaware of the strife

01:10:50.600 that African-Americans go through

01:10:51.860 with police officers in certain areas.

01:10:54.200 And I agree,

01:10:55.040 there needs to be something done.

01:10:56.320 Police officers need to be

01:10:57.640 vetted better,

01:10:59.320 trained better,

01:11:01.000 you know,

01:11:01.940 sometimes they're just putting crazy people

01:11:03.280 on the streets with a gun.

01:11:04.880 Yeah, that's true, man.

01:11:07.120 You know,

01:11:07.560 sometimes they are,

01:11:08.400 sometimes they aren't.

01:11:10.100 You know,

01:11:10.540 you wish that these guys got paid more.

01:11:12.680 You know,

01:11:12.940 you wish that teachers

01:11:13.800 and police officers

01:11:15.840 and public service,

01:11:17.260 those people got paid more.

01:11:19.000 You know,

01:11:19.300 you also have,

01:11:20.180 you know,

01:11:21.240 decades of police

01:11:22.020 going into neighborhoods

01:11:23.140 that are extremely scary,

01:11:25.440 going into extreme high crime areas.

01:11:27.520 so probably a lot of,

01:11:28.800 you know,

01:11:31.220 PTSD from past experiences.

01:11:33.460 I can't even imagine.

01:11:35.240 In addition to racist cops,

01:11:38.880 you know,

01:11:39.160 in addition to the fact

01:11:40.060 that racism exists.

01:11:42.200 And,

01:11:42.460 yeah,

01:11:43.440 I mean,

01:11:43.740 there's a lot of thoughts on it.

01:11:44.840 Onward.

01:11:45.060 But,

01:11:46.680 for me,

01:11:47.980 when I see

01:11:48.520 people kneeling

01:11:50.400 at the anthem like that,

01:11:52.240 you got to think about

01:11:52.960 why we do the national anthem

01:11:54.260 to begin with.

01:11:56.060 Is it just

01:11:56.940 an unknown ceremony?

01:11:58.420 No.

01:11:58.860 We're doing it

01:11:59.520 to raise,

01:12:00.800 you know,

01:12:01.300 to understand

01:12:02.040 where you come from

01:12:02.860 and the liberties

01:12:04.500 and the freedoms

01:12:05.660 that you have

01:12:06.160 because people did die.

01:12:08.220 They lost limbs.

01:12:09.460 They lost lives.

01:12:10.920 They sacrificed their minds

01:12:12.300 so you could live

01:12:14.240 in a place like this.

01:12:15.780 Hmm.

01:12:16.020 That's a powerful line.

01:12:16.820 They sacrificed their minds.

01:12:19.120 It's a good line.

01:12:20.140 Onward.

01:12:21.380 And I completely agree.

01:12:22.900 We need to fix things.

01:12:25.640 Things do need to be fixed.

01:12:26.900 But if you're going to use

01:12:27.540 your platform,

01:12:28.080 use it for good,

01:12:28.640 use it for positivity

01:12:29.500 and then figure something out

01:12:31.040 and let's make people aware.

01:12:33.260 Doing a senseless act

01:12:34.460 by just kneeling

01:12:35.100 just causes division and hate.

01:12:38.280 But,

01:12:38.500 that's my high horse

01:12:40.480 or my stand.

01:12:41.820 Thanks.

01:12:42.300 Thank you.

01:12:43.980 Appreciate it.

01:12:44.940 Yeah,

01:12:45.100 it makes me,

01:12:45.680 yeah,

01:12:45.980 I mean,

01:12:46.360 are we helping?

01:12:48.460 Is this helping?

01:12:51.040 Are we finding solution?

01:12:54.380 Because here's,

01:12:55.240 I don't think the media

01:12:56.260 doesn't care

01:12:56.700 if we find solution.

01:12:58.860 You know,

01:12:59.660 if we solve

01:13:00.700 the problems

01:13:01.300 in the world,

01:13:02.480 let me tell you

01:13:03.340 who doesn't benefit.

01:13:05.340 Probably the news networks.

01:13:08.140 Can you imagine

01:13:09.260 if the world

01:13:10.640 were good

01:13:11.160 and comfortable

01:13:11.820 would we even

01:13:13.960 turn the news on

01:13:15.160 if we knew

01:13:17.300 that everyone

01:13:17.800 was doing okay?

01:13:20.420 You know,

01:13:20.920 it makes you start

01:13:21.420 to ask yourself,

01:13:22.060 well,

01:13:22.140 why do I even watch news?

01:13:23.260 Am I addicted

01:13:23.860 to the hatred?

01:13:24.940 Am I addicted

01:13:25.840 to the,

01:13:26.620 you know,

01:13:28.600 to the negativity?

01:13:31.080 Am I supporting it

01:13:32.540 by the things I watch

01:13:35.000 and the things

01:13:37.160 that I,

01:13:37.640 you know,

01:13:38.520 click on?

01:13:39.740 I don't know.

01:13:41.080 I don't,

01:13:41.720 I do not know.

01:13:42.680 All right,

01:13:43.100 let's hear a little bit more.

01:13:45.100 Let's take another call

01:13:45.940 right here.

01:13:46.360 Hey man,

01:13:49.320 um,

01:13:50.320 why we don't have

01:13:51.680 camels here

01:13:52.860 in North America

01:13:53.940 seems like

01:13:55.220 they can live

01:13:55.780 in the rest

01:13:56.280 of the regular world

01:13:57.680 in sand

01:13:59.120 and,

01:13:59.560 you know,

01:14:00.600 hot sun

01:14:01.400 and just

01:14:03.120 the sun

01:14:04.220 burning the sand

01:14:05.160 on their feet

01:14:05.880 and they can get

01:14:07.480 all that water

01:14:08.340 in them.

01:14:09.480 I think they would

01:14:11.720 do a lot better

01:14:12.680 here

01:14:13.220 and,

01:14:13.840 um,

01:14:14.880 dang,

01:14:16.220 bro.

01:14:16.860 Uh,

01:14:17.300 I appreciate the call.

01:14:18.640 Yeah.

01:14:19.340 Why we don't have camels?

01:14:21.700 Why we don't have camels

01:14:23.660 here in America?

01:14:25.200 That's a great question.

01:14:26.840 You know,

01:14:27.560 it is because,

01:14:28.420 you know,

01:14:28.600 you go to some of these

01:14:29.220 other countries

01:14:29.620 and they have camels.

01:14:31.560 You go to,

01:14:32.700 uh,

01:14:32.960 India.

01:14:33.860 Oh,

01:14:34.340 you'll see a camel.

01:14:35.680 Look out in the woods.

01:14:36.760 You'll see a,

01:14:37.260 you'll see a distant,

01:14:38.340 you'll see a distant camel.

01:14:40.540 You go to,

01:14:42.180 um,

01:14:42.980 where else?

01:14:43.780 Uh,

01:14:44.000 you go to Africa.

01:14:46.100 Oh,

01:14:46.400 you,

01:14:46.740 oh,

01:14:47.100 they got camels out there.

01:14:49.020 If you got a,

01:14:49.900 a hat made out of,

01:14:51.060 um,

01:14:52.040 reeds,

01:14:53.040 made out of,

01:14:53.800 uh,

01:14:54.240 you know,

01:14:54.600 reed,

01:14:55.160 um,

01:14:56.180 pieces of,

01:14:57.040 of greenery,

01:14:59.000 a camel will eat your hat.

01:15:01.400 First thing you stand in there

01:15:02.560 and you got a little bit of shade

01:15:03.460 on your head,

01:15:03.920 next thing you know,

01:15:04.380 the sun is hitting you

01:15:05.340 and you hear something chewing

01:15:06.300 nearby.

01:15:08.340 And that's a camel

01:15:09.160 just ate your hat.

01:15:10.920 So they have camels out there.

01:15:12.900 But in America,

01:15:14.000 you know,

01:15:14.240 you get around here

01:15:15.000 and it's not like that.

01:15:16.920 You know,

01:15:17.440 and I think part of it is because

01:15:18.960 we're not as natural.

01:15:22.200 I mean,

01:15:22.740 dude,

01:15:22.960 you go to Africa,

01:15:24.440 you get a rental car,

01:15:26.080 they might have a fucking sloth

01:15:27.560 in the trunk.

01:15:29.040 You know,

01:15:30.260 you go to,

01:15:31.260 um,

01:15:31.880 Nairobi

01:15:32.580 and you get a pair of pants

01:15:35.560 and you put them on

01:15:36.480 and they might have a,

01:15:38.360 uh,

01:15:38.960 a couple of,

01:15:40.000 um,

01:15:40.960 they might have a,

01:15:42.360 you know,

01:15:42.840 a lizard or something

01:15:44.460 in the crotch of them,

01:15:45.820 an exotic lizard.

01:15:47.620 So you get a lot of these

01:15:48.920 different countries,

01:15:49.680 you're going to see some animals.

01:15:51.740 In America,

01:15:52.460 you might just get a couple

01:15:53.320 of pesky raccoons out there,

01:15:55.100 you know,

01:15:55.660 throwing dice

01:15:56.440 and fucking talking shit,

01:15:58.720 you know,

01:15:59.740 and just fucking it around

01:16:01.140 in the garbage,

01:16:01.820 making love by the garbage.

01:16:03.840 You know,

01:16:04.300 we don't get like,

01:16:05.020 we don't get as many wild animals.

01:16:07.180 Now you get up

01:16:08.000 in a different parts

01:16:08.820 out there to Montana,

01:16:10.440 you know,

01:16:11.020 you might get some tigers,

01:16:13.180 you know,

01:16:13.480 if you get a,

01:16:14.300 you might get some mountain cats,

01:16:15.680 even some aggressive lesbians

01:16:17.060 if you hanging out

01:16:17.640 by the gas station at night.

01:16:19.440 Cause I got accosted

01:16:20.540 by a lesbian out there

01:16:21.560 one time.

01:16:22.480 It could have,

01:16:22.980 I think it was pretty much

01:16:23.800 a lesbian.

01:16:25.360 Aggressive lesbians.

01:16:26.440 Now,

01:16:26.820 I'm not saying anything

01:16:28.320 about all lesbians.

01:16:29.300 This was an aggressive,

01:16:30.120 an aggressive lesbian

01:16:32.080 had a Dokken t-shirt on,

01:16:34.100 this old band,

01:16:34.880 Dokken.

01:16:36.040 But they have,

01:16:37.000 you know,

01:16:37.720 we don't have that natural,

01:16:38.760 we don't have those camels

01:16:39.480 running around

01:16:39.960 and I don't know why.

01:16:41.660 I do not know why at all,

01:16:42.960 but that's a great question,

01:16:43.840 man,

01:16:43.900 why we don't have camels

01:16:44.980 in the United States of America.

01:16:46.940 Let's get them.

01:16:47.660 Talk to Trump,

01:16:48.420 dude.

01:16:49.920 Trump will get you

01:16:50.640 some fucking camels,

01:16:51.540 bro.

01:16:52.460 Alright,

01:16:52.920 let's hit another question here.

01:16:55.140 Oh,

01:16:55.520 and this question

01:16:56.160 had to do with last week,

01:16:57.700 it was if your girlfriend,

01:17:00.560 wanted to sleep

01:17:01.400 with somebody else

01:17:02.340 if you got that offer

01:17:03.420 because someone on Snapchat

01:17:04.500 last week called in

01:17:05.620 with the offer they got.

01:17:07.900 Let's hear this.

01:17:09.440 Yo,

01:17:09.660 what's up,

01:17:10.040 baby?

01:17:10.820 Calling from,

01:17:11.580 I'm gonna keep my name out,

01:17:12.580 I'm gonna call,

01:17:13.040 I'm calling from

01:17:13.620 Toronto,

01:17:14.860 Canada.

01:17:16.000 Toronto.

01:17:16.860 Almost made love

01:17:17.400 to an Indian woman

01:17:18.500 up there one time

01:17:19.400 or pretty much a woman

01:17:20.540 of age

01:17:22.420 but just outside of that

01:17:24.000 and

01:17:25.140 I went

01:17:26.460 to

01:17:27.180 Halloween,

01:17:27.920 I celebrated Halloween

01:17:28.700 up there

01:17:29.260 one time

01:17:30.200 with

01:17:30.620 the ShamWow guy,

01:17:31.800 my buddy Vince Offer.

01:17:33.260 He went to a party

01:17:34.040 and he ended up

01:17:35.180 meeting a white girl

01:17:35.900 that I think he ended up

01:17:36.660 making love to.

01:17:37.720 Onward.

01:17:38.560 Canada.

01:17:39.660 Just wanted to talk about

01:17:40.640 last week,

01:17:41.720 if you've

01:17:42.620 let somebody else

01:17:43.960 sleep with your girl

01:17:45.080 or

01:17:45.440 vice versa,

01:17:46.760 maybe your girl's

01:17:47.580 letting you sleep

01:17:48.780 with other chicks,

01:17:49.580 whatever.

01:17:50.440 Yep,

01:17:50.680 you can find that

01:17:51.180 on our 925 episode.

01:17:52.860 Onward.

01:17:53.140 I don't know.

01:17:55.860 I've practiced

01:17:56.660 the dark arts

01:17:57.380 as you put it.

01:17:58.120 You put

01:17:58.420 the dark arts.

01:17:59.720 I'm a proponent

01:18:00.960 of the dark arts.

01:18:01.960 I might be an elder.

01:18:02.880 I don't know.

01:18:03.840 Okay,

01:18:04.280 see you out there,

01:18:05.100 man.

01:18:06.060 You,

01:18:06.340 Edgar Allen,

01:18:06.940 go,

01:18:07.300 boy.

01:18:07.740 Onward.

01:18:09.180 Yeah,

01:18:09.500 me and my girlfriend,

01:18:10.380 you know,

01:18:10.620 it started off

01:18:11.380 totally healthy

01:18:12.060 as most relationships

01:18:13.140 do.

01:18:13.660 Everything's fun.

01:18:14.560 Everything's new

01:18:15.140 and exciting,

01:18:15.800 whatever.

01:18:16.680 And as time went,

01:18:18.080 you know,

01:18:18.380 you learn something

01:18:19.100 about your girl.

01:18:20.700 She's a freak.

01:18:21.360 My girl is a freak.

01:18:22.200 She's crazy.

01:18:23.040 She was into crazy shit

01:18:24.780 and so was I.

01:18:26.180 And you kind of awaken

01:18:27.400 the dark arts

01:18:28.100 in each other.

01:18:28.960 So,

01:18:29.600 okay,

01:18:30.120 now you want to do

01:18:30.880 threesomes.

01:18:32.060 And then it turns to,

01:18:33.960 well,

01:18:34.600 why don't we just

01:18:35.160 have an open relationship?

01:18:36.940 Okay,

01:18:37.440 so now you open

01:18:38.140 a relationship.

01:18:39.680 And that's when

01:18:40.520 anybody can come through

01:18:41.580 and shoot your doe.

01:18:43.420 You know,

01:18:43.860 that's open season.

01:18:44.720 That's hunting season.

01:18:45.720 And that's when you're

01:18:46.680 sharing your crops

01:18:47.520 with the neighbors

01:18:48.120 and that's when

01:18:48.800 it can get a little ornery

01:18:50.760 when you look

01:18:51.180 across that fence

01:18:52.020 and see somebody else

01:18:53.000 eating your vegetables.

01:18:55.560 Onward.

01:18:56.680 Okay,

01:18:57.320 so now we're shaking

01:18:58.020 our heads like,

01:18:58.740 oh,

01:18:59.180 is this normal?

01:19:01.300 Like,

01:19:01.600 can we do this?

01:19:02.380 How do we do this?

01:19:04.800 And it practically

01:19:06.320 ruined our relationship

01:19:07.420 in the end of it.

01:19:08.140 I was letting her.

01:19:09.460 Oh,

01:19:09.740 man,

01:19:10.060 I was almost hopeful

01:19:10.740 for a second

01:19:11.280 that you figured this out.

01:19:13.140 That you had this.

01:19:14.480 Let's keep going.

01:19:15.420 Sleep with other dudes.

01:19:16.560 she got jealous

01:19:18.500 and didn't want me

01:19:19.700 to sleep with other girls.

01:19:21.580 And then eventually

01:19:22.160 because of something,

01:19:23.380 some deep-seated,

01:19:24.300 weird,

01:19:24.640 dark art

01:19:25.180 that I had in a part of me,

01:19:26.600 I started to like

01:19:28.340 that she was sleeping

01:19:29.100 with other guys.

01:19:30.540 And she would film it

01:19:31.820 and we would watch it

01:19:33.140 and it was like

01:19:33.860 a part of our relationship.

01:19:35.940 Wow.

01:19:38.040 Wow,

01:19:38.600 boy.

01:19:39.180 That's crazy,

01:19:40.080 man.

01:19:40.280 I mean,

01:19:40.440 you're in there then.

01:19:42.720 You know,

01:19:43.420 if you have,

01:19:44.200 you're watching videos

01:19:45.160 of other men

01:19:45.880 with your lady,

01:19:48.200 you know,

01:19:48.620 that's very,

01:19:49.700 I want to say Roman,

01:19:51.440 but that's even past that.

01:19:52.940 You passed Roman.

01:19:55.020 Wow.

01:19:55.720 Let's hear more.

01:19:56.860 Man,

01:19:57.100 that's not healthy

01:19:57.740 and I knew that,

01:19:58.580 but I just couldn't help it.

01:19:59.680 You know,

01:19:59.920 things progress.

01:20:00.800 You just get bored

01:20:01.600 with the regular shit.

01:20:03.520 So,

01:20:04.140 I don't know.

01:20:04.800 It kind of ruined

01:20:05.440 our relationship,

01:20:06.220 I think,

01:20:06.580 in the end.

01:20:07.080 She won't admit to it,

01:20:08.020 but I think that's what it was.

01:20:10.500 But yeah,

01:20:10.940 let me know what you think

01:20:11.660 about that.

01:20:12.960 Oh,

01:20:13.340 man,

01:20:13.580 I think,

01:20:14.400 I mean,

01:20:15.480 look,

01:20:15.840 I'd be lying if I didn't say

01:20:16.940 some of it sounded fun.

01:20:18.840 You know,

01:20:19.140 if it doesn't sound fun

01:20:19.960 to be just,

01:20:20.560 you know,

01:20:21.020 crawling down that dirty staircase

01:20:22.640 on your hands and knees,

01:20:25.060 you know,

01:20:25.420 and you know that each step

01:20:26.620 below you

01:20:27.380 and you're going face first

01:20:29.240 down that staircase

01:20:30.020 because when you get naughty

01:20:31.200 like that,

01:20:31.760 you face first.

01:20:32.720 You know,

01:20:34.460 as a man,

01:20:35.100 you're going face first.

01:20:36.180 You're taking all your feelings

01:20:37.280 and your,

01:20:38.140 you know,

01:20:38.480 all your senses.

01:20:39.820 Your senses are all in your head

01:20:41.300 and in your fingertips.

01:20:43.480 So,

01:20:43.740 you're taking all those

01:20:44.620 face first down the stairs

01:20:46.020 into the darkness

01:20:46.780 and you know that the devil

01:20:48.580 built that next step.

01:20:50.500 You know,

01:20:50.800 each step built by,

01:20:52.200 you know,

01:20:52.720 carpenter Satan

01:20:54.180 or carpenter Lucifer.

01:20:55.720 Lucifer,

01:20:57.600 you know,

01:20:58.140 you know that each one

01:20:58.980 of them steps

01:20:59.460 getting warmer

01:21:00.460 and naughtier,

01:21:02.100 slipperier.

01:21:03.740 But you keep going

01:21:04.620 hand first

01:21:05.560 on your knees

01:21:06.820 down that staircase

01:21:08.100 and your nostrils

01:21:09.820 and your brain

01:21:10.520 filling up with scents,

01:21:12.940 filling up with the scent

01:21:13.900 of musky women,

01:21:16.320 you know,

01:21:16.620 in best westerns

01:21:17.820 and,

01:21:18.180 you know,

01:21:19.380 in,

01:21:19.540 in private account

01:21:22.760 credit cards,

01:21:25.220 you know,

01:21:25.680 in cheap things

01:21:26.560 of cocaine

01:21:27.340 and,

01:21:27.940 you know,

01:21:29.380 in people wearing

01:21:30.180 fucking little outfits

01:21:31.740 on their dick

01:21:32.440 and all kinds of stuff

01:21:33.380 like that.

01:21:34.600 And you getting

01:21:35.400 into some wildness,

01:21:36.660 man.

01:21:37.780 But you keep going

01:21:39.120 because that's

01:21:39.780 the temptation.

01:21:41.500 That's temptation,

01:21:42.740 man.

01:21:42.980 That's what that is.

01:21:44.240 And look,

01:21:44.620 I feel you.

01:21:45.180 That can be fun,

01:21:45.960 but that doesn't end well.

01:21:47.540 That's the thing.

01:21:49.540 That doesn't end well

01:21:50.740 or we would all

01:21:52.100 probably be there.

01:21:54.500 So now here you are.

01:21:55.940 You know,

01:21:56.200 you're a little bit burnt out.

01:21:57.420 You sound like

01:21:57.860 you got some issues

01:21:58.540 from it.

01:21:59.520 But I just say

01:22:00.300 keep climbing, man.

01:22:01.300 Turn around.

01:22:02.300 Keep walking up.

01:22:03.700 I'm not saying

01:22:04.080 you don't have to

01:22:04.480 always be good.

01:22:05.360 I'm not saying

01:22:05.760 any of that.

01:22:06.760 I'm not saying

01:22:07.300 God's going to save you.

01:22:08.200 I'm not saying

01:22:08.620 any of that.

01:22:10.160 All I'm saying is

01:22:11.520 that it doesn't

01:22:13.340 sound like

01:22:13.740 the safest environment.

01:22:15.420 And that's why

01:22:16.320 the struggle

01:22:16.860 is where it is.

01:22:18.400 That's why

01:22:18.920 the struggle

01:22:19.340 is to stay

01:22:20.000 in the healthy

01:22:20.560 relationship

01:22:21.280 or even if it's

01:22:22.660 to try and make

01:22:24.200 a relationship healthy.

01:22:26.180 That's why

01:22:26.940 we're battling it out

01:22:28.300 with your spouse.

01:22:30.840 That's why

01:22:31.560 because you're fighting

01:22:32.380 that front lines.

01:22:34.660 You ain't out there

01:22:35.480 eating buttholes

01:22:36.600 off the internets.

01:22:38.900 You know,

01:22:39.680 random strangers

01:22:40.800 off the internets

01:22:41.600 with their buttholes.

01:22:43.080 You're not doing

01:22:43.820 all of that.

01:22:44.760 You know?

01:22:45.580 And that's hard.

01:22:46.500 It's hard not to do.

01:22:47.920 It's hard

01:22:48.560 not

01:22:49.340 to do.

01:22:52.460 All right.

01:22:53.160 Let's keep it cruising.

01:22:54.340 Yeah.

01:22:54.540 Hi, Theo.

01:22:55.080 Hey, I just got done

01:22:56.700 watching the 925

01:22:57.840 episode.

01:22:59.660 Thank you for

01:23:00.360 checking that out.

01:23:01.080 As far as the kneeling

01:23:03.160 at the National Anthem,

01:23:04.960 it just needs to stop.

01:23:07.160 Entertainers have opinions.

01:23:08.900 Football players

01:23:09.620 need to play football.

01:23:10.860 The NFL needs to play football

01:23:12.540 and stay out of the

01:23:13.640 political realm.

01:23:15.020 Trump needs to shut

01:23:15.840 his mouth

01:23:16.420 and become a real

01:23:17.820 president

01:23:18.240 and stop talking

01:23:19.580 a bunch of shit

01:23:20.300 to people

01:23:20.800 to get them stirred up.

01:23:22.220 It's not helping

01:23:22.920 anyone move forward.

01:23:25.140 I agree.

01:23:25.800 I mean,

01:23:26.060 just as much as

01:23:26.980 the media does it,

01:23:28.860 Trump does it as well.

01:23:30.340 I mean,

01:23:30.500 it's just,

01:23:31.320 it's almost baffling

01:23:33.420 where

01:23:33.960 that comes from

01:23:36.120 for him.

01:23:36.620 I mean,

01:23:36.880 it's just like

01:23:37.460 a baby.

01:23:39.280 You know,

01:23:39.640 it's like watching

01:23:40.800 a tall

01:23:42.720 baby

01:23:43.660 with

01:23:44.900 Twitter

01:23:45.780 onward.

01:23:46.800 So this needs

01:23:47.720 to quit.

01:23:48.720 It needs to end.

01:23:49.800 People need to come

01:23:50.540 together and fucking

01:23:52.160 stand up at the anthem

01:23:53.300 and move on.

01:23:55.660 You know,

01:23:56.340 we play football.

01:23:57.580 That's what that's about.

01:23:58.800 Entertainment.

01:23:59.900 So I just wanted

01:24:00.540 to pass that along.

01:24:01.840 I appreciate that.

01:24:05.500 Wanted to pass that along

01:24:06.900 and as far as

01:24:08.120 sleeping

01:24:09.160 for payment,

01:24:10.840 I'll tell you what,

01:24:11.480 I was married 21 years

01:24:12.740 and at the end

01:24:13.960 of my marriage

01:24:14.680 I would have paid

01:24:15.560 someone $100

01:24:16.760 to sleep with my wife

01:24:18.000 just to get her

01:24:18.600 out of the fucking house.

01:24:19.620 So keep up

01:24:21.080 the good work.

01:24:22.300 There you go.

01:24:23.380 That's love

01:24:24.100 right there.

01:24:25.220 And that's love

01:24:26.040 and that's divorce

01:24:26.820 and that's what

01:24:27.600 happens there.

01:24:29.040 You tip

01:24:29.920 somebody who'd

01:24:31.000 come in

01:24:31.540 and take your

01:24:33.380 wife out

01:24:33.780 for a night

01:24:34.200 on the town.

01:24:35.700 Alright.

01:24:37.260 What else, man?

01:24:38.140 I got some more

01:24:38.700 stuff about girls

01:24:39.600 and dating.

01:24:40.340 We're going to get

01:24:40.720 into that next week.

01:24:41.560 I feel like we've

01:24:42.000 already been into

01:24:42.520 a really long episode

01:24:43.500 so far.

01:24:45.180 We got a bunch

01:24:45.980 of great calls

01:24:46.580 and more of them

01:24:47.180 will be on next week.

01:24:48.060 I'm probably going to

01:24:48.520 get into some stuff

01:24:49.280 about dating.

01:24:50.400 I've been dealing

01:24:51.060 with some stuff

01:24:51.680 in this therapy

01:24:53.680 I've been going to.

01:24:55.260 I've been dealing

01:24:55.680 with some stuff

01:24:56.260 about my issues

01:24:58.480 lie when I'm

01:25:00.820 unable to connect

01:25:02.380 in a relationship.

01:25:05.320 I even get caught

01:25:06.160 up with,

01:25:06.420 I got intimate

01:25:07.060 issues.

01:25:08.740 When it comes

01:25:09.300 to being in love

01:25:10.380 and getting

01:25:11.600 a comfortable

01:25:12.680 consistent level

01:25:13.600 of intimacy,

01:25:15.300 that stuff,

01:25:16.080 whoo,

01:25:16.780 that's hard.

01:25:17.900 It's hard for me.

01:25:18.960 It's hard for a lot

01:25:19.660 of people.

01:25:20.540 Dude, I'm telling you

01:25:21.120 this.

01:25:21.300 I'm sitting in a

01:25:22.000 doctor's office

01:25:22.760 the other day

01:25:23.420 and I'm talking

01:25:24.380 to him about

01:25:24.700 something.

01:25:25.720 Something that's

01:25:26.340 okay.

01:25:28.060 And I mentioned

01:25:29.720 this, you know,

01:25:31.360 just in passing,

01:25:32.240 just about,

01:25:32.660 I was going to a

01:25:33.200 therapist.

01:25:33.920 And out of the blue,

01:25:35.020 this man closed the

01:25:37.220 door and then he

01:25:38.600 started telling me

01:25:39.260 the problems he was

01:25:40.220 having at home.

01:25:40.900 And this is a

01:25:42.700 doctor.

01:25:44.000 This is a doctor

01:25:45.100 talking to me

01:25:46.240 about the problems

01:25:48.760 he's been having,

01:25:49.740 you know,

01:25:49.980 issues he's having

01:25:50.660 in his bedroom.

01:25:52.920 And so,

01:25:53.860 man,

01:25:54.140 it's just,

01:25:54.500 they got people

01:25:55.260 out there dealing

01:25:56.080 with that.

01:25:57.540 People out there

01:25:58.300 dealing.

01:25:59.840 We're afflicted,

01:26:01.060 man.

01:26:01.480 We're all afflicted.

01:26:03.000 And that's okay.

01:26:03.880 We've all got a

01:26:04.580 problem, man.

01:26:06.260 You know?

01:26:06.900 But you're going to

01:26:07.980 be out there

01:26:08.660 hiding it?

01:26:10.040 You know?

01:26:11.880 Are you going to

01:26:12.140 be out there just

01:26:12.540 saying what the

01:26:13.120 problem is and

01:26:13.860 how do you think

01:26:14.780 we can solve it?

01:26:16.460 Because you could

01:26:16.960 wear the disguise

01:26:17.680 if you want.

01:26:18.860 You could put on

01:26:19.420 the disguise,

01:26:20.120 everything's fine.

01:26:22.040 You know?

01:26:23.640 Everything's fine.

01:26:24.800 Everything's fine.

01:26:26.740 That's the disguise,

01:26:27.900 man.

01:26:28.000 That's your

01:26:28.300 Halloween, bro.

01:26:29.800 That's your

01:26:30.340 Michael Myers outfit

01:26:31.560 you wear every day.

01:26:33.580 Or,

01:26:34.500 you could take off

01:26:35.480 the mask, man.

01:26:37.200 You know?

01:26:38.960 You know?

01:26:39.600 You could take

01:26:40.060 off your mask

01:26:40.740 and see if

01:26:41.600 daddy recognizes

01:26:42.700 you.

01:26:44.780 You know?

01:26:45.900 You could take

01:26:46.640 off that mask

01:26:47.480 and show up.

01:26:51.220 Show up

01:26:52.120 with no

01:26:54.180 mask on,

01:26:55.900 no outfit,

01:26:56.740 no costume.

01:26:59.080 Show up

01:26:59.900 to whomever,

01:27:02.200 to your boss,

01:27:03.300 to your spouse,

01:27:04.460 and let them

01:27:05.980 know what's

01:27:06.380 going on.

01:27:07.120 let them

01:27:08.640 know what's

01:27:09.040 popping off

01:27:09.680 inside of

01:27:10.260 you.

01:27:12.420 You know?

01:27:12.980 Be vulnerable.

01:27:14.100 Sometimes you

01:27:14.580 gotta show up

01:27:15.120 and be vulnerable,

01:27:16.020 man.

01:27:17.420 So, and that's

01:27:17.920 a tough thing

01:27:18.400 to do.

01:27:18.700 It's a tough

01:27:19.100 thing for men

01:27:19.680 to do.

01:27:20.560 You know?

01:27:21.000 And it's a tough

01:27:21.560 thing, I think,

01:27:22.040 for ladies, too.

01:27:22.900 Ladies getting

01:27:23.380 confused.

01:27:24.040 Ladies used

01:27:24.420 to be our

01:27:25.300 maps, you

01:27:26.820 know, I think

01:27:27.140 at times for

01:27:27.820 vulnerability.

01:27:28.680 We would watch

01:27:29.260 them and we

01:27:29.680 would marvel

01:27:30.380 at who they

01:27:31.860 were.

01:27:33.140 And now

01:27:33.540 sometimes we've

01:27:34.260 been led in

01:27:34.760 directions where

01:27:35.500 we don't know,

01:27:36.880 you know, we

01:27:38.780 don't know where

01:27:39.120 we stand.

01:27:39.660 We don't know

01:27:39.920 who's who anymore.

01:27:40.880 It's a little bit

01:27:41.320 confusing.

01:27:41.980 That's okay.

01:27:43.000 We just gotta keep

01:27:43.800 navigating, you

01:27:44.860 know?

01:27:45.680 So if you

01:27:46.240 Lewis find your

01:27:47.060 Clark, you

01:27:48.700 know, get you a

01:27:49.280 Clark.

01:27:49.760 It can be a

01:27:50.140 buddy, it can be

01:27:50.940 a loved one.

01:27:52.320 You know, get

01:27:52.740 vulnerable with a

01:27:53.480 friend, man.

01:27:54.040 Share.

01:27:55.060 We just fucking

01:27:55.800 out here, dude.

01:27:56.620 We out here.

01:27:57.760 We out here in

01:27:58.400 space.

01:27:59.460 I don't have any

01:28:00.160 shame, man.

01:28:01.300 You want shame,

01:28:02.200 you keep shame.

01:28:03.820 I'm not holding

01:28:04.320 on to that shit

01:28:04.880 anymore.

01:28:05.720 I appreciate you

01:28:06.520 guys calling, man.

01:28:08.400 I'm gonna take us

01:28:09.300 out right here.

01:28:10.260 This is Spencer

01:28:11.020 Jacob Growl Band

01:28:12.480 with a song that I

01:28:13.780 love from them,

01:28:14.620 man, Celebrate

01:28:15.260 Living.

01:28:15.500 Celebrate Living

01:28:31.000 Thank you guys very

01:28:42.460 much, man.

01:28:43.000 You guys be good

01:28:43.540 to yourselves.

01:28:44.460 I bet you deserve

01:28:45.240 it.

01:28:45.420 Ladies and gentlemen,

01:28:53.620 I'm Jonathan

01:28:54.240 Kite, and welcome

01:28:55.200 to Kite Club, a

01:28:56.480 podcast where I'll

01:28:57.440 be sharing thoughts

01:28:58.160 on things like

01:28:58.860 current events,

01:28:59.960 stand-up stories,

01:29:00.980 and seven ways to

01:29:02.120 pleasure your

01:29:02.720 partner.

01:29:03.700 The answer may

01:29:04.400 shock you.

01:29:05.420 Sometimes I'll

01:29:06.080 interview my

01:29:06.580 friends.

01:29:07.480 Sometimes I won't.

01:29:09.160 And as always,

01:29:10.000 I'll be joined by

01:29:10.720 the voices in my

01:29:11.540 head.

01:29:11.860 You have three

01:29:13.360 new voice messages.

01:29:15.100 A lot of people

01:29:16.200 are talking about

01:29:17.100 Kite Club.

01:29:18.020 I've been talking

01:29:18.820 about Kite Club

01:29:19.720 for so long,

01:29:20.660 longer than

01:29:21.260 anybody else.

01:29:22.320 So great.

01:29:23.660 Hi,

01:29:24.320 sweetheart.

01:29:25.340 Here's a deal.

01:29:26.680 Anyone who

01:29:27.240 doesn't listen to

01:29:27.940 Kite Club is a

01:29:29.080 dodgy bloody

01:29:29.640 wanker.

01:29:30.600 Jermaine.

01:29:31.860 Hi, I'll take a

01:29:33.340 quarter pounder with

01:29:34.180 cheese and a

01:29:34.940 McFlurry.

01:29:35.500 Sorry, sir, but

01:29:36.260 our ice cream

01:29:36.660 machine is broken.

01:29:37.760 Oh, no.

01:29:40.060 I think Tom

01:29:41.020 Hanks just butt

01:29:41.780 dialed me.

01:29:42.480 Anyway, first

01:29:43.500 rule of Kite Club

01:29:44.160 is tell everyone

01:29:45.620 about Kite Club.

01:29:46.660 Second rule of

01:29:47.380 Kite Club is tell

01:29:48.800 everyone about Kite

01:29:50.320 Club.

01:29:50.900 Third rule, like

01:29:52.000 and subscribe wherever

01:29:53.040 you listen to

01:29:53.640 podcasts or watch us

01:29:55.360 on YouTube, yeah?

01:29:56.660 And yes, don't

01:29:57.420 worry, my Brad Pitt

01:29:58.540 impression will get

01:29:59.440 better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 02, 2017

10-2-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #44

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