This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 10-23-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #47

00:00:00.000 Okay, and...

00:00:07.000 Something different.

00:00:30.000 Welcome, guys.

00:00:39.900 Does that music get you pumped up?

00:00:41.500 I don't know.

00:00:42.220 Sound like somebody drowning and playing a guitar at the same time to me.

00:00:46.680 But that's just me being judgmental.

00:00:48.980 And that is music sent in from a man named Tiny Sandhu.

00:00:54.080 And this gentleman hit me in the email.

00:00:56.040 He hit me where it hurts.

00:00:57.040 You know what I'm saying?

00:00:57.620 The email.

00:00:58.080 And he hit me in the email, Tiny Sandhu.

00:01:01.220 I get an email yesterday.

00:01:03.040 And first, I see the name in the namespace.

00:01:04.880 It says Tiny Sandhu.

00:01:06.700 And I'm thinking, Tiny Sandhu?

00:01:09.340 You know?

00:01:10.880 Well, what is it?

00:01:12.700 Turns out it's a man.

00:01:14.900 Tiny Sandhu sent in music.

00:01:17.180 And that was it right there.

00:01:18.300 And that's Voodoo Child that he played himself.

00:01:21.260 And that's Voodoo Child. 0.97

00:01:22.500 And that's a cover of Jimi Hendrix.

00:01:25.860 And he sent an email.

00:01:26.840 It's a cover of Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix.

00:01:28.720 Yet another magic man from the south.

00:01:31.720 Home of the blues.

00:01:33.380 Thank you, Tiny.

00:01:34.860 Thank you, Tiny.

00:01:35.760 I appreciate that.

00:01:36.580 And I know they had a boy named Small Island growing up in my neighborhood. 0.98

00:01:39.320 And who could do, who could hang off of his daddy's scrotum and wiener. 0.98

00:01:47.700 And some people know that. 0.99

00:01:48.660 And not in a sexual way.

00:01:50.320 That's not a sexual thing.

00:01:51.500 You know, sometimes people, you know, his daddy was in the Eastern European vaudeville in the circus.

00:01:58.840 You know, and whatever that was.

00:02:00.700 I'm sure a real rot gut establishment. 1.00

00:02:04.420 You know, and his, but Small could hang off of his daddy's, when his daddy would drink, his daddy would drop drawer. 0.99

00:02:12.040 And Small could grip onto his daddy's wiener and balls, you know. 0.99

00:02:18.500 Both of them. 1.00

00:02:19.200 Not at the bottom like a fucking, you know, like a fucking, you know, midget on a punching bag. 1.00

00:02:25.260 I'm talking up at the top, you know, where the rubber meets the road. 0.99

00:02:29.720 He could grip them at the top and just hang there, hang off of his daddy's, you know, fertile accomplishment pieces.

00:02:38.540 And that was pretty wild that Small could do that.

00:02:40.880 And the Small Island, fellow that grew up in my neighborhood.

00:02:43.720 But anyhow, Tiny Sandhu.

00:02:45.660 I'm sure that's probably the Small Island of India, maybe.

00:02:50.000 Of West India. 0.74

00:02:50.740 I'm not sure.

00:02:51.400 But thank you for that music, man.

00:02:52.580 We appreciate it.

00:02:53.140 I've gotten a lot of music sent in.

00:02:55.740 And one of these days, I'm just going to play you some of the, you know what, next week, right now, next week, I'm going to play you that.

00:03:01.580 But some of the ones that have been sent in, man.

00:03:03.860 And some of them are great.

00:03:05.680 Some of them are really not even great.

00:03:07.680 Or just not fit for this show.

00:03:09.140 But I'm going to send you the type of stuff that people have sent in that they felt was a complimentary to the show.

00:03:14.400 And to me, it's, some of it's just, it's striking and it's interesting and it's great, man.

00:03:19.680 It's something else, dude. 0.99

00:03:20.720 Some of it's sheer shit as well. 1.00

00:03:22.060 Some of it is sheer shit. 1.00

00:03:23.980 Like somebody just, you know, I mean, it's something else, man. 0.99

00:03:29.820 But anyhow, welcome to this past weekend, October 23rd.

00:03:35.040 Okay?

00:03:35.400 And I know Halloween's right around the corner.

00:03:37.640 And also, I want to welcome you to this past weekend because we have our new first charter sponsor.

00:03:43.620 And that is Gray Block Pizza.

00:03:46.140 1811 Pico Boulevard, Santa Monica, California.

00:03:50.380 On your way to the beach, if you like pie in your face, go get that hitter at Gray Block.

00:03:55.960 Gray Block, they got it. 0.96

00:03:57.500 G-R-E-Y-B-L-O-C-K. 1.00

00:04:00.060 They got the Frenchie, the Quad, the Bella Goat. 0.95

00:04:03.780 Meet yourself up.

00:04:05.480 You know what I'm saying?

00:04:06.200 Get that beef in your teeth.

00:04:08.140 Or go for the famous salad pizza.

00:04:11.060 If you lean in out for the beach or for prom or for a second marriage, if you're trying to cut some gut.

00:04:17.300 Hit that salad pizza if you're trying to cut some gut.

00:04:19.400 If you're Italian or if you're not, it's the place, Gray Block Pizza.

00:04:23.980 Order online.

00:04:25.180 It's in Los Angeles on Pico Boulevard.

00:04:28.220 Gray Block Pizza.

00:04:29.900 G-R-E-Y. 1.00

00:04:31.440 Grayblockpizza.com.

00:04:33.360 We're happy to have them on board as our first charter sponsor.

00:04:36.140 I'm very excited.

00:04:37.040 And I'm excited for you guys to be here with me on this past weekend.

00:04:40.380 What's going on?

00:04:41.780 What did I do?

00:04:42.980 You know what I did this weekend, man?

00:04:44.460 I did what I wanted to.

00:04:46.080 I did what I wanted to.

00:04:48.200 And you know what it really was?

00:04:50.160 A lot of it was nothing.

00:04:51.840 A lot of it was nothing, dude.

00:04:53.160 I got trapped watching that show Mind Hunter.

00:04:56.560 Have you seen this?

00:04:58.020 Have you seen Mind Hunter?

00:05:00.080 You know, it's on Netflix and it's about serial killers.

00:05:05.400 You know, people that kill somebody and then also want to kill somebody again.

00:05:08.560 Because apparently if you kill someone, it's enjoyable.

00:05:12.860 Who knew that?

00:05:13.980 Honestly, sometimes, I think it's sometimes in the dark recesses of my mind.

00:05:17.720 I probably knew that.

00:05:19.640 You know, that if I just wrap my, you know, meek little palms.

00:05:23.320 I mean, I got the fingers of a talented cat.

00:05:31.680 You know, I got real meek.

00:05:33.280 I got the fingers of like somebody who makes pasta or, you know, makes pasta in a cave.

00:05:40.640 You know, I got real just, I mean, if you set my, if you painted my fingers brown and just hung them out the window, a bird would land on them.

00:05:47.420 You know, I got them lean little branch, just little branch giblets, you know, almost could easily be made out of wood.

00:05:54.320 And not a nice wood either, you know.

00:05:57.180 Maybe teak, something not very sturdy.

00:05:59.660 But those are the kind of hands that I have.

00:06:02.060 You know, I mean, I'm just probably, I'm a half hour away from carpal tunnel, I bet.

00:06:06.300 You know, I do a Rubik's Cube and I get hit with that carpal tunnel.

00:06:10.460 You know what I'm saying?

00:06:10.900 I got meek fingers, dude.

00:06:13.260 If I started to fall off a cliff and I grabbed for a rock, dude, I would definitely still fall off a cliff.

00:06:19.340 I don't have that kind of, you know, that hand strength, you know.

00:06:22.980 I could maybe throw a pool ball, like a billiard ball.

00:06:26.860 I could throw a billiard ball about 45 feet.

00:06:29.140 I got these meek fingers.

00:06:30.840 But I'm heavy in the, I'm girthy in the shoulders.

00:06:33.600 I'm girthy in that up, in that, I got that uproar.

00:06:36.320 I got that uproar, you know.

00:06:37.820 Like, I took a deep breath and it just got stuck inside of me forever.

00:06:42.260 That's what happened.

00:06:42.940 I'm thick up top.

00:06:44.560 You know, I'm thick up in that chesty.

00:06:46.300 I probably have 50 or 60 ribs, I bet. 0.94

00:06:48.960 If they crack me open, you'd have a bunch of damn, I bet you'd have a bunch of brothers and sisters showing up at the park because it's time to barbecue if they crack me open and you know that. 0.95

00:06:58.960 But yeah, I got caught in. 0.97

00:07:00.500 Well, first I want to thank Tiny again for the music.

00:07:02.740 And look, Tiny, I'll tell you this, Tiny, I don't know about music.

00:07:05.480 But, you know, I've never been a big music man.

00:07:08.820 You know, you're talking to a guy who's seen Goo Goo Dolls four times.

00:07:12.280 You know, you're talking to a guy who would probably go to a Miley Cyrus concert.

00:07:16.000 You know, if I had a box seat, I'm not staying down in the bottom with the, you know, with the children and PDOs that are down there. 0.85

00:07:23.060 Because that's PDO country.

00:07:24.760 And Miley Cyrus is a place where I bet a lot of people that are, you know, PDO and they're even out there just to have a good time and not even to meet children.

00:07:31.720 Because it's kind of that kind of fun music where everybody enjoys it.

00:07:35.980 But, you know, you're talking to a guy who, you know, I've been, have also been to see that widespread panic.

00:07:41.480 You know, I've caught maybe six or seven of their shows.

00:07:44.220 You know, I've slept out in a van in a parking lot with a bunch of people that's, you know, men and women smell the same and have the same haircut. 0.84

00:07:50.960 And, you know, they got different, you know, they're eating grilled cheeses out of each other's, you know, crotch. 0.64

00:07:57.960 It's just, just wild stuff.

00:07:59.720 You know, people that are, you know, selling homemade biscuits out of a van and laying next to dogs or wolves at night.

00:08:06.880 You know, and eating spider webs and, you know, who knows what else.

00:08:11.360 Ginger snaps. 1.00

00:08:12.120 I've been around those types of people that, you know, go to string cheese incidents and do the other stuff and listen to fish, you know, and ride around and learn to juggle and shit, even though they're in their early 40s. 1.00

00:08:23.240 I've been around some of those damn fucking, you know, architects, whatever they are, shit architects. 0.98

00:08:31.920 But, you know, so I don't have much of a music, but Tiny Sand who sent the music in and I'm grateful for it. 1.00

00:08:36.200 But, yeah, I watched that Mindhunter.

00:08:39.060 If you haven't seen this, now, first of all, the thing is about Mindhunter, it's about people learning that serial killers think differently.

00:08:45.780 And I've always been obsessed with, you know, with serial killing a little bit.

00:08:50.020 I've always liked those shows.

00:08:51.340 For some reason, my mother had us watching America's Most Wanted as a child.

00:08:55.040 That was the show that our family got together and watched.

00:08:58.420 And, man, that was, I just remember being so scared.

00:09:01.640 And I don't know if, my mother probably should not have let us watch it.

00:09:05.140 But my mother, we were adults early because we, there weren't a lot of, you know, she kind of let us make our own choices, really, in a lot of ways.

00:09:14.400 And, you know, of course, as a kid, you're like, oh, I can handle whatever.

00:09:17.420 But I remember hiding behind the sofa sometimes at some of the stories.

00:09:21.380 And, but I got into that stuff, dude.

00:09:23.680 And some of these shows, it's addictive.

00:09:26.300 You know, you won't see a friend for three or four days.

00:09:28.560 You're like, man, are you okay?

00:09:30.140 Would you have the flu?

00:09:31.220 And they're like, nah, man, I, you know, I didn't have the flu, dude.

00:09:36.240 I had Ozark.

00:09:37.960 You know, I had a, I had a heavy case of the Ozark.

00:09:40.120 I came down with it and then my lady came down with it. 0.99

00:09:43.000 You know, and then spouses start fighting because you're on different episodes.

00:09:46.340 You seen these episode fights? 0.98

00:09:48.740 Oh, well, he fucking Frank, you know. 0.98

00:09:51.360 He thought he'd be cute, come in drunk and watch two episodes of Ozark without me. 1.00

00:09:57.500 Fuck you, Teresa. 1.00

00:09:59.940 You know, you always doing, you watch six Datelines without me. 1.00

00:10:05.440 So what are you even talking about?

00:10:08.100 But you got couples getting into episode fights, you know, and it's ruining bedroom stuff, you

00:10:13.660 know, because they don't want to be in that, you know, people on different episodes and

00:10:16.080 they feel like that that's how they relate anymore. 0.99

00:10:19.900 Play some Scrabble with your wife or play some damn cards. 1.00

00:10:23.100 Take a night off, sit in front of each other, look into each other's eyes. 1.00

00:10:26.760 But with that said, man, I love some damn serial killing and I've never had a strong 0.97

00:10:30.860 taste or knowledge base for music because you know what happened to me? 0.98

00:10:34.380 For years I drove around, I wouldn't even listen to music in my car.

00:10:38.480 Maybe I could be a SK, serial killer, because that's the kind of serial killer things, things 0.93

00:10:45.240 serial killers do.

00:10:47.560 You know, and I think I just got addicted to listening to my own thoughts.

00:10:50.440 I was so trapped in my own head. 0.99

00:10:53.200 I would just drive around and listen to my own fucking thoughts that were on repeat, 1.00

00:10:58.260 dude. 0.99

00:10:58.720 It was like five tracks. 1.00

00:11:00.600 All of them were shit. 1.00

00:11:03.040 So, you know, at least whatever you sent me, Tiny Sand, who was better than me listening 1.00

00:11:08.220 to my own thoughts for a little bit.

00:11:10.960 But we got a lot going on.

00:11:13.080 We got a lot going on this week.

00:11:14.820 People are getting fired up because Halloween is coming up.

00:11:21.380 Halloween.

00:11:24.420 And I got the hands for Halloween, dude.

00:11:26.940 Oh, I couldn't.

00:11:28.120 The only person I could probably strangle about a, I bet, I bet I could strangle about a 13 1.00

00:11:33.340 month old.

00:11:34.000 Anything over than that, I would need assistance.

00:11:36.960 That's how much I got weak fingers, man.

00:11:39.220 I got weak fingers, dude.

00:11:40.960 I got fingers that are just, you know, like I have trouble sometime with a Ziploc.

00:11:46.600 You know, for me, red and, you know, yellow and blue, most of the time still just make

00:11:51.000 yellow and blue.

00:11:51.580 I got to call somebody in because I'm just, I don't have that, I don't have heavy pressure

00:11:55.080 in my fingers.

00:11:56.700 And I think I get that from my mother.

00:11:58.920 You know, she has, but she's strong, but she got them lean fingers, I think.

00:12:02.060 Or maybe my father, I don't know.

00:12:03.500 Maybe my father.

00:12:04.300 I mean, my father, by the time I got a look at his fingers, my father was, you know, 80

00:12:09.060 years old when I was 10.

00:12:10.800 So I think anything I get that's not working good, I think it's maybe it's safe to assume

00:12:14.760 that I got it from my father.

00:12:16.280 You know, the genetics on there probably, you know, I might have these senior citizen fingers.

00:12:21.900 But, uh, but yeah, that Mindhunter, I got trapped.

00:12:24.500 And you can get trapped in these episodes, man.

00:12:26.460 You're watching, you wake up in the middle of the night, you go to piss.

00:12:29.540 Next thing you know, you're four episodes deep in, uh, you know, breaking bag because

00:12:35.260 you never started it.

00:12:37.000 You know, it's just, it's, it's intense out there.

00:12:40.040 And, uh, Stranger Things is coming back in a week and a half.

00:12:43.640 Just a lot going on.

00:12:46.200 But I, I, um, I, I got, I got caught watching that show, that Mindhunter, and it's about serial

00:12:52.800 killers, man.

00:12:53.600 And I have always had a fascination.

00:12:57.960 I remember when I was young, I used to collect those.

00:13:01.860 Remember, they used to have these blue and white cards.

00:13:03.920 They were white, but with blue, it was missing person.

00:13:07.040 And I think the number was 1-800-THE-MISSING.

00:13:09.660 And they would send them to you in the mail every week or every other week.

00:13:12.860 And they'd have pictures, two pictures of children.

00:13:15.740 And, uh, one was when they, when they went missing and one was what they assumed they looked

00:13:19.600 like now.

00:13:20.140 And I collected those.

00:13:23.420 And I remember I would look at them all the time.

00:13:25.160 And some people are thinking, well, that's a serial killer type of thing to do.

00:13:28.020 But I did it because I remember, I just, I, I don't know.

00:13:34.680 I felt sometimes like, I don't know.

00:13:37.780 I don't know.

00:13:38.100 Maybe I wonder, maybe if I had been a missing person or something.

00:13:41.240 I think I felt so out of place in my own life sometimes that, that maybe I thought one

00:13:46.740 of those cards would come and be like, oh, this is, you know.

00:13:50.360 This is where I've been or what's been going on.

00:13:54.800 You know, I think I just felt missing, you know.

00:13:57.400 I don't know why, man.

00:13:59.140 I just, but I sympathize with those kids.

00:14:01.540 I really, I sympathize with those kids.

00:14:03.700 For some reason, I would collect them and I would look at them all the time.

00:14:05.940 And I remember one time I thought I saw one of the children.

00:14:08.360 So that's a little bit of a dark thing that they think about this morning.

00:14:10.760 But also at the same time, it's not.

00:14:12.520 You know, I was looking for these children.

00:14:14.140 You know, I was keeping tabs on some of the different kids that were coming across that were

00:14:17.220 missing or allegedly missing, you know.

00:14:21.160 But I always had a fascination with that.

00:14:22.780 And America does right now.

00:14:24.760 America has a fascination with that.

00:14:26.560 There's a new podcast as well out that's called Dirty John that you might want to listen to.

00:14:31.620 I just listened to the first episode today.

00:14:33.340 It's pretty good.

00:14:34.560 But I think that that's something you might enjoy.

00:14:36.660 But that's what I did this weekend, man.

00:14:39.000 I went to some music.

00:14:41.120 This guy, Moses Sumney.

00:14:42.800 I don't know if you've heard of this gentleman or not.

00:14:45.060 But he's good, man.

00:14:46.260 I hadn't listened to, I haven't been to a music show in a while.

00:14:50.900 But Moses Sumney, S-U-M-N-E-Y.

00:14:53.920 It's a tall gentleman, originally from Ghana, grew up in California.

00:14:58.600 And, man, I've never seen music like this.

00:15:01.320 This dude has, he's playing the guitar some, and he's playing the piano, and he's got these

00:15:06.940 pedals that are looping everything, and there's these lights going on, and there's, he's doing

00:15:11.020 this kind of interpretive dance.

00:15:12.920 But it was, it was next level, man.

00:15:14.800 Like, I went to a warp zone.

00:15:17.100 It was like somebody, you know, took a big bat and knocked my head right off of my body,

00:15:23.020 and my head was just flying through space, and I wasn't in any pain, and my eyes were

00:15:27.800 open, and my ears were open, and I was just traveling through the galaxy.

00:15:31.560 That's what this man created with this music.

00:15:33.640 So if you get a chance to check him out, Moses Sumney is this guy's name, M-O-S-E-S-S-U-M-N-E-Y.

00:15:40.640 I haven't met the gentleman in person, but it was pretty cool. 0.98

00:15:43.100 But yeah, I've been to some shit music, man. 0.97

00:15:45.700 I remember, you know, when I was a child, we would eat drugs and go in there. 0.99

00:15:51.020 You know, the first concert I ever went to was Marilyn Manson.

00:15:54.100 You know, speaking of spooky stuff, and me and my buddy Scotty, who was really fancy,

00:16:00.080 I mean a real Fauntleroy of a boy, you know, kind of nice looking, you know, looked like

00:16:04.700 his whole body, like it just was made out of conditioner, because I didn't know they

00:16:09.200 had conditioner.

00:16:10.480 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:11.020 So I was probably, you know, maybe 19 or 21 or something, you know? 0.99

00:16:16.360 But I, but he, he looked like he just, you know, like, like just damn baby goats came 0.99

00:16:22.100 at night and just licked his body while he was sleeping, you know, and did his hair with 0.99

00:16:26.240 their tongues, because he looked soft like that.

00:16:28.780 He looked not soft in a bad way, but he just looked, you know, fully manicured by God,

00:16:34.720 like just natural.

00:16:36.720 You know, he looked like them baby goats was taking care of him at night.

00:16:39.900 You know, he looked clean.

00:16:41.520 He looked real clean, you know?

00:16:43.000 He looked like he could, he could go a couple of days without brushing his teeth if he wanted

00:16:47.000 to.

00:16:47.400 It looked like he could brush his teeth with his hands and it would have still come out

00:16:51.600 really clean.

00:16:52.220 He just looked that clean, you know?

00:16:54.320 And I remember me and him went to Marilyn Manson and we met this dude, Big Richard.

00:16:59.500 And I've told some of this story before, he ended up getting busted.

00:17:01.640 He got busted actually for P filing out there, you know, it allegedly, but he went to jail

00:17:06.740 for it.

00:17:07.180 And he was a senior citizen and, and he took us, dropped us off at Marilyn Manson, bro.

00:17:15.900 Before they were huge, when they were just popping off, just popping off, they were playing

00:17:20.440 at this probably 250 person venue called the Rendon Inn in New Orleans.

00:17:27.280 And me and Scott are there under age, 14 years old, listening to Marilyn Manson.

00:17:32.820 And I remember being in the bathroom urinating and some man walked in and he's like, what 0.99

00:17:38.220 are these fucking kids doing in here, right? 0.99

00:17:40.480 And these people are all dressed up. 1.00

00:17:41.880 This was a Marilyn Manson was like when they were, you know, he would cut his drummer open

00:17:46.060 on stage with a bottle and the drummer would go to the hospital and like really go to the

00:17:50.640 hospital, you know?

00:17:51.760 Like, not like we're just going to get some pictures of him at a ready med or at a 24 hour,

00:17:56.340 you know, you know, uh, saloon or something, medical saloon.

00:18:02.600 This one, they would really go to the hospital.

00:18:05.300 And, uh, and I remember being in the bathroom urinating and some guys like, what are these 0.99

00:18:10.020 fucking kids doing in here? 0.98

00:18:11.860 And me and my buddy was in there urinating separately, you know, cause I don't do joint 0.99

00:18:16.000 urination.

00:18:16.880 And I never have, even when I was a child, you know, shoulder to shoulder, dude, give me

00:18:21.520 at least a half inch, bro. 0.96

00:18:22.760 We don't even fucking know each other. 0.98

00:18:24.200 You know what I'm saying? 0.97

00:18:25.240 Unless we're in the military, dude, we're not touching each other's bodies and holding

00:18:30.020 on to our wieners at the same time, dude.

00:18:32.180 You know what I'm saying? 0.68

00:18:32.980 Now, if you want to go off at a game of gay chicken, we can play that all day. 1.00

00:18:36.440 But as, you know, as young adults standing here shoulder to shoulder, come on now.

00:18:42.140 So I'm in there, my buddy's in there and we're like, uh, the guy's like, what are these 0.99

00:18:47.440 fucking kids doing in here? 0.99

00:18:48.680 And some other dude goes, I don't know, but I'm sure somebody will fuck them up. 1.00

00:18:54.200 And when you're a kid, dude, and you hear that kind of shit, you're just like, Jesus, 0.99

00:18:59.880 man, the world is not a safe zone, you know? 0.99

00:19:04.180 And I think it was right around Halloween time when that happened too, man.

00:19:07.520 And so I remember that got us in the mood to be spooked out for sure, dude, for sure.

00:19:14.020 Fun Halloween, man.

00:19:15.400 Coming up, the kids just talking to my buddy on the phone.

00:19:18.160 He said he got his son, they got a Batman outfit, but the muscles already built in. 0.99

00:19:24.320 And I'm asking, well, uh, what is that shit? 1.00

00:19:27.820 When I was young, dude, if you got that Batman, that thing was a piece of shit, dude. 1.00

00:19:32.400 Remember, it was just like, it had the cape. 1.00

00:19:35.840 It had that mask, dude.

00:19:37.520 They had this girl in, um, they had this girl in our neighborhood, Big Melissa, even though 0.94

00:19:42.540 she was young, they called her Big Melissa.

00:19:45.080 And I mean, I could, you could guess why they called her Big Melissa.

00:19:50.160 But I mean, she had the biggest head I've ever seen, dude. 0.99

00:19:53.280 Wider than it was tall.

00:19:54.980 I mean, that head was probably, I would guess it was, I don't know, it was probably eight

00:20:00.040 and a half by 11, like a sheet of paper, maybe, but sideways, you know, long ways.

00:20:05.340 And I remember she would put that, uh, that the mask on for that Halloween costume. 0.73

00:20:12.320 And, but when I was young and it had the side of the mask, it would cut into your face, dude.

00:20:16.420 And that band on her head was so tight, dude.

00:20:19.060 She had this huge cut. 0.74

00:20:21.900 It would push her whole head up into the mask, almost like a cookie, right? 0.72

00:20:27.120 It would just be cut out around the sides, man.

00:20:30.680 Just, I mean, just chirped out around the sides.

00:20:32.820 That thing would just cut into her skin. 0.99

00:20:35.180 So after she took it off her whole face for a couple of days, it had been molded into whatever

00:20:39.620 she was, you know, like a little gummy bear or, uh, what else did they have?

00:20:44.480 Gummy bears or Winnie the Pooh or a, you know, a cat.

00:20:47.740 It would just mold her face like a cookie. 1.00

00:20:50.020 That thing would stick to her face and she had to have help getting it off that mask. 1.00

00:20:53.780 But those things were dangerous. 0.99

00:20:54.920 And the Batman costume, when I was young, when I was a piece of shit, you know, my 0.99

00:20:58.460 buddy's telling me that his son has the muscles built in. 1.00

00:21:02.180 Dude, when I was young, you had to damn hit the gym. 0.90

00:21:04.280 Even if you, I don't care if he was nine years old, dude, you better hit the gym, dude. 0.98

00:21:08.960 You know what I'm saying?

00:21:09.560 You better get on some high quality breast milk, dude. 1.00

00:21:11.780 You better skip a baby in the tit line and catch a little bit of breast milk and put on 0.97

00:21:16.260 some weight.

00:21:16.780 If you want to fill out a Batman costume, you had to make your own, you had to, you had

00:21:21.060 to grow, you had to get ready for it.

00:21:23.200 You know, if you wanted to be something, you had to be it.

00:21:27.120 You know, if you wanted to be a, you know, a army war veteran, you know, you might find,

00:21:32.140 you know, you might, uh, break your arm a couple of weeks before and be in a cast, you

00:21:36.540 know, or, you know, hobble yourself, you know, and tie your legs together, you know, for a

00:21:41.740 couple of days before.

00:21:42.620 So you're practicing that hobble. 0.98

00:21:43.900 So you look really hobbled.

00:21:45.360 You know, we went into Halloween with purpose. 1.00

00:21:47.620 Now these kids getting costumes with the muscles built in, hit the fucking gym, young buck or 1.00

00:21:54.460 young lady. 1.00

00:21:55.760 Why don't you hit the gym for six weeks before October 31st and fill out that costume naturally.

00:22:01.280 Quit cutting corners, you know?

00:22:03.580 That's a problem sometimes with America, you know, these kids want to cut corners, but

00:22:09.540 I just remember it being different, man.

00:22:11.500 You know, I remember it being different.

00:22:14.060 I remember one kid wanted to be a Oscar the Grouch, right?

00:22:16.760 But he didn't have like a can or anything. 0.96

00:22:19.200 He just duct taped this huge, a bag of trash to his back, dude. 0.91

00:22:23.600 He looked like a, I mean, he looked like a homeless Ninja Turtle, really. 0.96

00:22:29.160 He just, I mean, he had just a huge bag of just garbage and the garbage just leaked. 0.57

00:22:34.600 Just a garbage he found on the street, you know, about a street.

00:22:37.200 And he just duct taped it like 40 different ways around his back.

00:22:41.380 And the bag was so heavy, it kept weighing him down.

00:22:43.660 So sometimes he'd fall back on his back and we have to, you know, push him up by the shoulders

00:22:48.380 and get him back upright. 0.97

00:22:49.400 But he was supposed to be a damn Oscar the Grouch, but no can, you know, I guess kind 0.98

00:22:54.860 of like a naked Oscar the Grouch, you know, a little bit mildly naked because he didn't 0.99

00:22:58.620 have that can on him.

00:23:00.200 But yeah, I remember Halloween, man.

00:23:01.680 And I remember it being fun, but I've been getting into these TV shows and I'm just saying

00:23:05.460 that some of them are addictive, you know, they're addictive, man.

00:23:08.200 You get into these shows and they're just addictive, they're just addictive, you know?

00:23:12.740 And it's, it's almost, I don't want to say it's, it's too addictive, but it's almost,

00:23:18.900 I feel like dangerous sometimes when this binge watching comes out because it just, it makes

00:23:25.420 it harder.

00:23:25.900 If you're not in control, like I'm not in control sometimes, you know, and I have an

00:23:29.720 addictive personality and I will quickly get into it and then I can't get out, you know?

00:23:35.760 So that's tough TV watching for people that aren't able to get in and out of things very

00:23:40.200 easily.

00:23:40.760 And that happens to me, man.

00:23:42.220 That's exactly what happens to me.

00:23:44.140 What else is going on this weekend?

00:23:46.820 And I did some comedy sets, um, had a good time.

00:23:50.520 I saw Brendan Schaub, uh, saw Rogan, I saw, uh, Bobby Lee, guys that I love.

00:23:58.060 Uh, we got the new, I'm doing this pilot for Comedy Central.

00:24:00.620 If you live in the California area and are a man who has been going through something,

00:24:04.640 or you are a woman who has a husband or boyfriend who's been going through something wild, you

00:24:09.500 know, that's kind of manhood type stuff.

00:24:11.280 You know, maybe he's afraid to pop the marriage question, or maybe you're afraid to pop the,

00:24:15.720 whatever it is, I need men who are dealing with men stuff, you know, men who are dealing

00:24:21.460 with men stuff.

00:24:22.260 Hit me up on the hotline, 985-664-9503.

00:24:26.520 Uh, we're putting together this pilot and it's going to be pretty neat.

00:24:29.240 Just want to hear some stories and see if we can possibly incorporate one of them into

00:24:33.400 the pilot project.

00:24:34.500 Um, and that project actually is based on this podcast.

00:24:39.160 So pretty cool, man.

00:24:40.340 If we didn't start this and get this going, then that opportunity doesn't prevent it, present

00:24:44.420 itself.

00:24:45.060 So that's pretty awesome, man.

00:24:46.320 We're doing some really, really neat stuff.

00:24:47.700 It seems like what else is happening, man.

00:24:51.060 I, um, I, uh, I remember other costumes that I had as a kid, you know, I remember being

00:24:58.640 a firefighter and I didn't really have a costume dude.

00:25:02.340 And my brother had this little wagon, right?

00:25:07.100 So we filled that wagon with a little bit of kerosene and he, um, he would pull the wagon

00:25:13.660 and had, uh, and we lit the kerosene.

00:25:16.640 He pulled the wagon, that's the fire, right?

00:25:18.840 And then I had like a bat and like a fake gun and I was running behind the wagon of fire

00:25:24.360 shooting it like a fighter, you know?

00:25:26.620 So it's kind of a, I mean, I guess even at that time it was kind of a play on words and 0.88

00:25:30.540 it was a little bit, I mean, it was a little damn ridiculous in hindsight, you know, but,

00:25:35.780 um, but I remember, remember being a firefighter when I was a kid.

00:25:39.820 Uh, I remember being where's Waldo.

00:25:43.240 I remember being a, um, I remember being, I was on a, on a boat one time and people were

00:25:52.500 using each other's pubic hair to make, um, you know, mustaches and beards because we didn't

00:25:57.240 have any spare hair as a child.

00:25:59.660 I was raggedy and a couple of times on accident and I was raggedy Andy.

00:26:03.720 What else?

00:26:04.920 What else was I as a kid?

00:26:06.360 I don't remember. 0.99

00:26:06.840 Maybe when I was a baby, I might've been a damn pumpkin. 0.99

00:26:08.680 Everybody dresses a baby up like a pumpkin. 0.99

00:26:11.100 Um, I saw, I saw my little nephew got a costume and he's going to be a, a, uh, a native American,

00:26:19.140 you know, and he's going to do it honorably, I think, you know?

00:26:22.260 So I'm sure I hope he honors them as he gets out and does some trick or treating, but that's

00:26:26.800 it, man.

00:26:27.260 Halloween's coming up.

00:26:28.200 I saw some people out in costume this weekend and guess what? 1.00

00:26:31.140 Uh, fuck those people because that's too early to be out in costume. 1.00

00:26:36.080 You're out 12, 13 days before Halloween. 1.00

00:26:38.540 You're out there running around.

00:26:40.080 Come on, man.

00:26:41.800 Come on, man.

00:26:43.100 Bit much, isn't it?

00:26:44.040 For adults, for adults.

00:26:47.240 And also ladies, be careful if you invest something in your child. 1.00

00:26:50.620 If you got a child out there and you're just going to buy your child a $13 costume, but

00:26:54.720 you're going to go spend three, four hundred on yourself, you know, looking like a, you 0.72

00:26:59.420 know, if you're going to dress up like a slutty snail or something, you know, maybe even it 0.99

00:27:03.660 out, maybe, you know, get you something else like, you know, a, a conservative, uh, maybe 0.98

00:27:09.500 be a conservative, you know, a conservative calamari and, and get your son, maybe your daughter,

00:27:15.800 maybe a hundred dollar outfit, but get something good, you know, but happy Halloween

00:27:19.720 to everybody.

00:27:20.360 I mean, I think we'll have one more episode before Halloween, so I'll maybe get into a

00:27:23.180 little bit more then, but, uh, but I just wanted to wish everybody a happy Halloween.

00:27:27.900 What else is going on?

00:27:29.420 Not much.

00:27:30.080 The news, I haven't really watched much of it, you know, um, Trump's, you know, always,

00:27:35.940 you know, tweeting at everybody, um, and they're fighting.

00:27:40.760 I just, the whole thing is so much ego.

00:27:42.440 I know that Hillary's going to run again. 1.00

00:27:43.940 Hillary's going to fucking run again, and she's going to, and I bet she would lose. 1.00

00:27:49.640 I bet she would lose, man. 1.00

00:27:51.300 This whole thing is this twisted ego universe, man.

00:27:56.000 You know, it's so crazy how egos and bruised egos, all these politicians, man.

00:28:01.560 I would vote a waffle iron into the White House if I could, because I hope this whole thing, 0.99

00:28:07.080 that's why I think Trump's hilarious a lot of times, because he doesn't give a fuck, you 0.99

00:28:12.120 know, and that's bad, and at some point it's a bad example, you know, because you want 0.99

00:28:15.980 somebody to give, you know, but he's just like this crazy kind of business guy who has,

00:28:20.920 who's complete empath, you know, it's like, but then sometimes that's what a lot of America

00:28:26.980 is.

00:28:27.360 I think sometimes we don't want to, we don't want to be realistic about Trump because

00:28:30.820 it's like, I think he embodies some of exactly what we are, you know, exactly what a lot of

00:28:38.040 America as a, you know, as a cloth sometimes it feels like has become just this, you know,

00:28:44.400 it's about making money, it's about business, you know, it's about cutting corners, you know.

00:28:51.400 I don't know, man.

00:28:52.880 But it's just funny because Obama made fun of Trump years ago at that speech, at that

00:28:56.540 dinner, and then Trump wants to show him back.

00:28:58.800 He's like, oh, you know what, I could have your job, and he does, and he gets his job,

00:29:02.820 and then Hillary loses, and she's so butthurt, and then she's gonna, and I know, I can just

00:29:07.920 tell she wants to run again, man.

00:29:10.040 Dude, it's just like the WWE, it really is.

00:29:12.680 It's just like professional wrestling, bro.

00:29:15.260 And that's why, for me, it's exciting because it makes, people are fired up, people are angry,

00:29:19.980 good, or people are, good, whatever, you know.

00:29:24.280 I've never, I've never depended on politics to have ever had, I didn't feel like an effect

00:29:30.620 on my life, like they were gonna bring, I don't need that, you know, for my comfort.

00:29:36.760 Now, it would get super scary if, you know, there's a war, something crazy like that breaks

00:29:41.180 out, you know.

00:29:43.180 But at the same time, you know, is that what we, I mean, we're at a point where it's like

00:29:48.940 something's gonna happen. 0.99

00:29:51.200 Mother Nature's about to whoop everybody's ass, she's already doing it, you know. 1.00

00:29:55.500 I don't think we're, I don't think as humans, sometimes we're being, we're behaving, we 0.98

00:30:00.680 are, I don't know if it's behaving, but is, are we, are we best serving ourselves, you

00:30:06.040 know, as humans?

00:30:08.440 I don't know.

00:30:10.420 You know, I don't know.

00:30:12.500 But I ask myself that question, and I look around and base that on my own eyes, you know. 0.99

00:30:17.540 I mean, the me, you know, the news has gone to a level, that shit's, the news will get 0.99

00:30:21.720 people killed, dude, if you follow the news, getting people killed, dude, oh, everything's 1.00

00:30:29.820 a problem.

00:30:31.340 Dude, Yahoo has changed so much.

00:30:32.920 I used to go to Yahoo to get stuff.

00:30:34.460 Dude, go read the lines on Yahoo, their headlines.

00:30:37.220 It's so bizarre.

00:30:39.080 You're like, what is this?

00:30:41.580 Smut. 0.80

00:30:42.600 You gotta keep your face out of the smut, dude. 0.90

00:30:44.580 That's what you gotta keep of.

00:30:45.660 Anyhow, that's enough of my politics.

00:30:48.100 I just think it's just, everything has become the WWE.

00:30:50.300 The Rock, I've heard real rumors in Hollywood, this is real, real stuff, that The Rock is

00:30:55.200 gonna run next time.

00:30:56.580 The Rock.

00:30:58.440 You know?

00:30:59.040 And the crazy thing is that Hollywood created, they helped create Trump.

00:31:02.820 There's no, that's the funniest thing to me sometimes.

00:31:07.080 You had all these people in Hollywood, like, are so angry about Trump.

00:31:12.200 But Hollywood helped create him.

00:31:14.620 You know, that platform, somebody in Hollywood made millions and millions and millions and

00:31:20.600 millions of dollars off The Apprentice.

00:31:22.880 You know?

00:31:23.280 I'm sure, I don't even know what network it is or what producer, whoever's attached.

00:31:28.180 But, no accountability there.

00:31:31.660 There's no way that he wins if he doesn't have that format, that platform, that show.

00:31:36.280 You know, I just, there's just so many, and I just think it's funny because I love seeing

00:31:45.020 politicians just yell at each other and fight.

00:31:48.060 It's just like professional wrestling.

00:31:50.640 But when it comes to the reality of things, what do I do?

00:31:55.440 I get up in the morning.

00:31:56.800 I get out of bed.

00:31:59.180 You know?

00:31:59.740 I try to be of service to my friends and family.

00:32:02.660 I try to be of service to others.

00:32:04.420 I don't do it all the time.

00:32:05.580 I don't do it every day perfectly.

00:32:07.860 But I try.

00:32:08.700 I keep making an effort.

00:32:09.920 I take care of my side of the street.

00:32:12.520 Mother Teresa said, you want to change the world?

00:32:14.720 Go home.

00:32:15.620 Love your family.

00:32:16.380 I'm not out of here fiercely bitching all day about this.

00:32:21.640 You know, these people are ruining this.

00:32:23.560 These people are ruining that.

00:32:25.460 Politics never, these people, these politicians never did anything for me.

00:32:29.940 And that's why I think you have it.

00:32:31.360 It's like a lot of people are shocked that, oh, Hollywood or that, you know, it's now the

00:32:36.880 biggest thing is that, like, oh, it's opioided America.

00:32:39.900 That's who voted Trump in office.

00:32:41.920 Dude, most of America is just poor people.

00:32:44.420 You realize that?

00:32:48.020 You realize that?

00:32:50.120 And guess what poor people like, dude? 0.99

00:32:53.280 We like professional fucking wrestling, bro. 1.00

00:32:57.780 That's it. 1.00

00:32:59.220 We want to be entertained.

00:33:00.900 Oh, I get to be poor while the rich keep getting richer and the disparity of wealth in America

00:33:06.280 gets greater and greater.

00:33:08.000 And while politicians seem, the second they get elected, you can tell this, the whole

00:33:13.720 thing, you can see in their eyes that most of them are already thinking about their, the

00:33:22.000 wealth they're going to make on these speaking tours afterwards. 0.96

00:33:24.520 Well, the least that can happen is it can be an entertaining fucking four years. 0.97

00:33:31.980 And you might think, Theo, that's crazy. 0.98

00:33:34.700 That's not how poor people think.

00:33:36.640 I grew up these people.

00:33:39.160 I know how they think.

00:33:42.160 I get it.

00:33:43.620 I'm not trying to, like, shove it down anybody, but I'm telling you that that's how poor people

00:33:48.080 think, man.

00:33:48.940 That's how a lot of people think. 0.99

00:33:50.460 People are just tired of fucking watching the same show. 0.99

00:33:54.520 It's the same show. 0.99

00:33:56.780 All right, enough about me, man.

00:33:59.820 I'm sorry to go off on those deep ends sometimes, but, you know, I just, what?

00:34:04.820 I'm just, uh, I'm just such a mortal, you know?

00:34:08.580 I'm so mortal, God.

00:34:10.940 And, uh, and I'm just trying to stay alive, I think, you know?

00:34:15.280 But I just, I'm fascinated that, that, uh, I'm just fascinated of what, what everything's

00:34:23.480 kind of turning into.

00:34:24.820 And I think change is good, man.

00:34:26.440 I think change is always good.

00:34:28.440 It's the hardest thing sometimes to go through and to recognize while it's happening.

00:34:32.980 But, but change is always, it has to occur.

00:34:38.420 And I think the end, the outcome is always greater than what was the energies or whatever

00:34:45.660 that was happening before, you know?

00:34:47.880 Except for dying.

00:34:49.420 Dying, probably not a cool change, you know?

00:34:51.840 Like, hey, won't be seeing you guys for a while.

00:34:55.940 Well, you know, that's, that's probably not a good one.

00:34:58.260 But enough about me, man.

00:34:59.760 We had some great calls this weekend.

00:35:01.560 Uh, first, I want to tell you guys, though, that November 14th through, no, November 16th

00:35:07.560 through 19th, I will be in Huntsville, Alabama at Stand Up Live Huntsville.

00:35:12.680 And also, I want to tell you that Dollar Shave Club is the smarter choice.

00:35:17.040 Get a great shave at a great price, conveniently delivered right to your door.

00:35:21.240 And when I use my Dollar Shave Club Executive Razor with their Dr. Carver's Shave Butter,

00:35:27.880 have you heard of Dr. Carver?

00:35:29.300 Oh, he makes some naughty face butter.

00:35:33.320 The blade just gently, just gently glides, giving me such a smooth shave.

00:35:39.160 You, too, can make the smarter choice by joining Dollar Shave Club.

00:35:43.060 For a limited time, new members get their first month of the Executive Razor free

00:35:47.580 with a tube of their Dr. Carver's Shave Butter for only $5 and free shipping.

00:35:53.240 After that, razors are just a few bucks a month.

00:35:55.300 You can get this offer exclusively at dollarshaveclub.com slash weekend.

00:36:01.060 That's dollarshaveclub.com slash weekend for a limited time.

00:36:05.240 You get your first month with the Executive Razor for only $5 with free shipping.

00:36:10.520 Check that out.

00:36:12.080 Support the podcast.

00:36:13.160 You can also go to patreon.com, p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash theovon, t-h-e-o-v-o-n.

00:36:19.500 There will be exclusive footage, extended footage, from today's episode there.

00:36:24.880 And I want to thank all my Patreoners, that Gunt Squad, you know, for supporting, 1.00

00:36:30.340 and all of my Patreon, those bumpers, everybody, for being a part of things.

00:36:34.940 All right, guys, let's get into some of your calls.

00:36:36.580 You had some this weekend, and I appreciate it, man, what was going on in your lives.

00:36:42.360 Here we go.

00:36:44.840 Theo.

00:36:46.280 Hey, this is Tommy Judson, your buddy from Ohio.

00:36:49.500 My wife and I saw you in Baltimore and met you last year.

00:36:53.960 Maybe this year.

00:36:55.380 Dirty Tommy, man, or clean Tommy.

00:36:57.300 I'm not sure I didn't get a good look at you.

00:36:58.740 But Tommy Judson, good to see you.

00:37:00.480 Good to hear your voice, man.

00:37:01.620 I'm glad your wife.

00:37:02.360 It sounded like y'all still together.

00:37:03.640 Let's hear a little bit more.

00:37:04.900 And I did get offered a threesome.

00:37:06.820 I got offered into a mixed bag over there, a threesome in, and that was in Baltimore.

00:37:13.320 Onward.

00:37:13.680 Anyway, I was an EMT for a lot of years, and you reminded me of the time when I went into a, some dude literally in Ohio, some dude literally fell off his bar stool and died.

00:37:29.620 We went in there to try to revive him.

00:37:31.940 He had a cardiac arrest, and we were doing CPR and, you know, jamming him with needles.

00:37:38.560 And as I was giving him CPR, literally looking into his dead eyes, really wild.

00:37:47.140 Yeah, dead eyes are wild, dude.

00:37:50.760 Dead eyes, I mean, it's crazy.

00:37:52.280 We go from, you know, being that human to being, having a little bit of fish in us really quick.

00:37:57.040 You know, having a little bit of fish in us really, really quick.

00:37:59.600 Let's hear more.

00:38:01.200 The people in the bar were still sitting there eating their french fries and dipping their chicken wings in the blue cheese.

00:38:08.600 So, yeah, people are weird around this, this death genre or like.

00:38:17.980 Yeah, people are weird around death.

00:38:19.320 And I know you're referencing Tommy as well.

00:38:21.120 I spoke last week about how I was around that choking incident.

00:38:25.500 You know, I saw a woman was choking to death and her husband just kind of massaging her shoulders and kind of rubbing her neck a little bit. 0.90

00:38:31.100 Like she had a fucking, you know, like she had a knot, you know, like she'd had a tough, you know, a tough job, you know, a tough afternoon doing, you know, tries and traps or whatever. 0.93

00:38:42.660 But, you know, this, this man was just, you know, his wife was choking and other people sitting around and just almost don't know what to do. 0.99

00:38:51.960 Don't, it's a, it's this, this pause that comes over everyone.

00:38:56.600 So, yeah, I mean, that's pretty fascinating that people are still eating snacks.

00:38:59.580 It's very Roman, I feel like. 0.78

00:39:01.380 That's one of the things you see back in Rome, you know, when they got a, you know, they got a vulture or, you know, seven or eight vultures fighting a, you know, a pickpocket. 0.99

00:39:09.660 You know, and they put him out there in the ring and they're, you know, you know, and they're chasing him and, you know, you know, biting his kneecaps off and all of that shit. 0.97

00:39:18.480 You know, ripping moles off his back. 0.99

00:39:20.660 All these vultures are, you know, just, you know, pecking moles off his back and stuff.

00:39:24.740 And, and, and the, the whole time the crowd is just sitting there cheering and eating snacks and everything.

00:39:30.740 That's very Roman. 0.98

00:39:31.780 And it's amazing how sometimes we get so Roman when somebody's dying. 0.62

00:39:35.440 You know, I remember being at a buffet as a child.

00:39:38.140 My mother had a boyfriend.

00:39:39.160 He sometimes would take us to the Holiday Inn buffet up there on Saturday.

00:39:42.260 And they had a waffle, a waffle man.

00:39:44.740 They had a man up there in a fancy hat that made waffles, dude.

00:39:47.520 And he looked kind of, I guess, Italian.

00:39:50.740 But he made, he made these waffles.

00:39:52.380 You know, we'd go get that waffle.

00:39:53.540 And my, man, we did not get along with my stepdad.

00:39:55.560 But we would be nice with my, with my mom's boyfriend.

00:39:59.100 But he, we would be nice though sometime to get that waffle, you know, get that hitter in our mouth. 0.98

00:40:04.540 You know, get that baked, that fucking big hot, you know, that big hot fucking French cookie, man, or whatever it is. 0.97

00:40:11.500 I don't know if waffles are French. 0.99

00:40:12.680 They sound kind of French to me.

00:40:13.920 You know, A-F-F-L-E, waffles, waffles, waffles, I'm not sure.

00:40:19.740 It could be French.

00:40:20.800 But anyhow, but yeah, I feel you, man.

00:40:23.280 When people, when somebody dying, some people still want to eat.

00:40:25.640 And I think some of that's guttural too.

00:40:27.620 Because you see somebody else is dying.

00:40:30.140 So you think, okay, I better sustain. 1.00

00:40:33.000 And the first thing you do, boy, I mean, hell, if somebody's breastfeeding next to me, I'll fuck. 1.00

00:40:37.700 I'll take a hit off that, off that fucking, that nippled bag. 1.00

00:40:41.320 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:40:42.000 Because the first thing you want to do is sustain, you know.

00:40:45.620 And sustaining is the number one thing.

00:40:47.220 I mean, it's like at the end of Grapes of Wrath, that lady, they got a lady with breasts. 0.98

00:40:51.440 And she's breastfeeding her own family. 1.00

00:40:54.420 You know, people take, or strangers or something, taking a hit off a woman's breast for survival. 0.99

00:40:59.560 So I think if you see somebody dying, you know, fucking you might just crack open a bag of Frito-Lays or some snow peas or something. 1.00

00:41:07.800 And put them in your mouth to keep sustaining. 1.00

00:41:10.800 But I appreciate you calling.

00:41:12.140 And thanks for your service out there as an EMT, dude. 0.99

00:41:15.160 You know, you guys are out there on the front lines of fucking overdoses and all of that shit. 0.99

00:41:19.280 And that's got to be pretty heady, dude. 0.99

00:41:20.960 So thank you for calling.

00:41:21.860 If you have a good story, actually, if you are, buzz me in sometime and let me know on the hotline what some of the stories you have are.

00:41:28.940 I'd love to hear them.

00:41:29.860 And that hotline number is 985-664-9503 as well.

00:41:34.380 So if you want to get involved in it and you're not involved in it, hit the hotline.

00:41:37.880 Let us know what's going on.

00:41:39.160 Okay, let's keep cruising.

00:41:40.240 Here we go.

00:41:41.660 Hey, Theo.

00:41:42.380 This is your boy, Cece, from Ohio.

00:41:45.760 Cece.

00:41:48.160 Thank you for calling.

00:41:49.020 Here we go.

00:41:50.120 Buckeye Nation.

00:41:52.220 Here's the situation.

00:41:54.360 I have a manager at work.

00:41:56.900 She is married to another woman. 0.98

00:42:00.000 Female lesbian. 0.98

00:42:01.800 Oh, yeah. 0.91

00:42:02.160 That's female lesbianism. 1.00

00:42:03.800 Onward.

00:42:05.360 And I have the same haircut as a lot of those women. 1.00

00:42:08.020 And I see a lot of them checking my shit out, too, online. 1.00

00:42:10.120 I see y'all on Instagrams trying to hock my shit. 1.00

00:42:13.100 Gender neutral style. 1.00

00:42:14.160 Boy, word up.

00:42:15.600 Let's hear more, brother.

00:42:17.220 They've been hitting on me.

00:42:18.740 And they're both like solid eights.

00:42:21.280 Ohio eights.

00:42:22.520 Hey, dude in Ohio eight.

00:42:24.200 It's an Indiana nine.

00:42:25.220 Baby, that's what they say.

00:42:26.080 Let's hear more.

00:42:27.480 And hitting on me and my wife, actually.

00:42:31.180 I wanted to know if that would make things weird at work, if I dabbled a little bit in

00:42:37.940 those dark arts.

00:42:38.820 And also, do you think that if I partook in any of this, it would make me feel, you know,

00:42:47.140 emasculated in any way to have, you know, maybe my wife enjoying this a little bit. 0.97

00:42:52.880 I also wanted to know maybe.

00:42:56.440 Wow.

00:42:57.960 Okay, that's a lot right there.

00:42:59.560 So, you have this option.

00:43:01.840 That's called a bass trap, too. 0.94

00:43:03.660 They call it a bass trap, dude, when they got two, when two lesbians are hitting on you. 1.00

00:43:07.900 You know, they're trying to get you in that bass trap.

00:43:09.620 And, yeah, look, man.

00:43:13.120 I mean, that's, I feel like that's intimidating.

00:43:15.840 If both of them are eights, I have a feeling one of them's an eight and one of them's a

00:43:21.320 six.

00:43:21.640 I'm just going to be honest.

00:43:22.500 That's what I have a feeling.

00:43:24.120 You know, because sometimes it's hard to get, you know, two real hitters at an eight

00:43:27.880 that are lesbians in the Midwest. 1.00

00:43:31.080 I'm guessing one's an eight and one's a six.

00:43:34.200 I'm just guessing, bro.

00:43:35.380 And that's okay.

00:43:36.620 You know, that's me being a little bit judgmental there.

00:43:38.720 But that's safe, you know.

00:43:40.420 Because what I'm saying is, you know, one of my buddies one night came up to me at a

00:43:46.020 bar and he's like, man, I got these five girls I want to hook up with me. 0.92

00:43:49.080 And I looked at them and he's like, they were all twos, you know.

00:43:52.440 And he's like, dude, five twos make a 10, right?

00:43:55.140 We've all heard a reference like that before.

00:43:57.420 But I'm like, dude, that's, you know, at a certain point, you're not even, what type

00:44:04.000 of sex is it?

00:44:04.860 If there's five, you know, and these women were all the same height, all little women, 1.00

00:44:09.260 five little women, one penis. 1.00

00:44:11.060 It sounds like a, it sounds like a Japanese game show more than he was getting involved 0.99

00:44:15.960 in, you know.

00:44:17.320 But it can be intimidating, you know, if you get in that environment with the two ladies 0.98

00:44:20.660 and that, now a bass trap is when two lesbians get you into, you know, they get you into 1.00

00:44:24.880 the bed. 0.99

00:44:25.500 But then one of them, that killer, you know what I'm saying?

00:44:29.020 Because one of them is always that Sugar Ray Leonard, the sweet one.

00:44:31.860 And then one of them comes in and she's that George Foreman, you know, that gorilla. 0.96

00:44:35.940 One of them comes in that gorilla boy and the gorilla be laying down the law. 0.98

00:44:39.740 And that gorilla sometimes will show you who's boss.

00:44:44.120 And that's where it can be a little bit weird, dude.

00:44:46.180 And that's where it can be a little bit weird where the gorilla shows up and, you know,

00:44:52.580 that George Foreman shows up and she just starts putting it on your, on her lady in front 0.95

00:44:56.400 of you after you already got in there, you know, or when you're about to be next, you

00:45:00.740 know what I'm saying?

00:45:01.520 She's swinging away, dude. 0.90

00:45:02.940 She's, you know, batting practice and you still over there in a batter's box, you know,

00:45:06.940 and you start getting nervous and, you know, and she's bringing in fake instruments to

00:45:10.600 the game.

00:45:11.100 She got some fake pecker tied to her, you know, to her rib cage or something. 1.00

00:45:15.080 And that's how, you know, they're getting into it and that's okay. 0.97

00:45:17.920 I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of this, you know, I mean, hell, I got 0.55

00:45:21.820 a lesbian's haircut, you know, I've taken this haircut. 1.00

00:45:24.800 I've styled it after different lesbian cuts that I've seen, you know, always my father 0.99

00:45:28.560 told me I had the heart of a lesbian when I was a child and I've always tried to live

00:45:32.460 up to his, you know, things that I guess we all try to live up to things that our father

00:45:36.760 wants out of us and the things that our father tells us about us, you know, that always

00:45:40.540 reflects in us most of our lives.

00:45:42.600 But yeah, that can be intimidating, man.

00:45:46.740 You know, and that's, dude, I'd love to know more if you navigate those waters, dude.

00:45:50.480 If you out there Huck Fennin' and Black Gemmin' out there, baby, I'd love to know with that 1.00

00:45:57.040 mighty Trista Sippy, if you get into that Trist, baby, if you get into that Trist, man, with 0.99

00:46:02.520 those ladies. 1.00

00:46:03.000 Now, if you bring your wife in, gee, dude, this is a damn movie you're living in. 1.00

00:46:10.660 So you got two Ohio 8s, you're out there gunning with one man penis, you got a man penis running 1.00

00:46:18.080 on natural battery power, natural blood flow. 1.00

00:46:21.180 So I'd pop a five milli of Cialis for you, get out there.

00:46:25.700 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:46:26.200 Don't put your dancing shoes on your dick because you don't want to, you know what I'm 1.00

00:46:30.120 saying? 1.00

00:46:30.320 You don't want to, you don't want to show up to the ballpark wearing sandals.

00:46:33.980 You know what I'm saying?

00:46:34.800 So I'd pop a five milli just to stay in, just to stay in the, you know, stay, just to keep

00:46:38.880 balls in the field of play.

00:46:40.720 That way, if you fade out once, you could chill in the back, you know, have you, you know,

00:46:45.260 a snack, some, you know, a small snack or something, couple orange slices, and then get 0.99

00:46:49.580 back out there and be hitting that, you know, gunning down on them late on that crotch. 1.00

00:46:54.500 Because at that point, those ladies are going to be tag teaming your wife, you know, you're 1.00

00:46:57.860 going to be sitting in the distance, they're going to be out there tag teaming, you know,

00:47:01.740 one of them is going to be having her in a headlock and one of them is going to be flying

00:47:04.060 off the top ropes, you know, and putting everything, you know, putting her grill into the mat and 1.00

00:47:08.800 all of that, you know, and doing different things, you know, doing, you know, leg locks,

00:47:14.080 doggy style leg locks and all of that, you know, it's going to be, I don't know.

00:47:18.340 And then also, will it be weird if your wife sees you not perform super well?

00:47:23.780 Like, you don't want to be, you know, you don't want them to be going out there at it,

00:47:26.980 you know, one of them's got a bunch of, you know, some yarn tied around her waist and with that, 0.74

00:47:30.660 you know, one of them plastic Johnsons, you know, hanging off her rib cage and she's, 1.00

00:47:36.080 you know, she's straight up R buckling that clam on the, you know, with her lady, 1.00

00:47:40.920 with her lesbian lover and you're sitting on the sidelines, you know, and your wife's 1.00

00:47:45.260 howling off your forehead and shit and you only was at it three or four minutes, that could be 1.00

00:47:48.980 scary, bro. Wow, man, this is interesting because I can't even imagine being in that situation, 1.00

00:47:55.860 all the things, if it could happen or would happen. Man, dude, that's brave, man, that's really,

00:48:02.600 really brave. You know, if you get in there, I'd love to know a little bit more about it if it does

00:48:06.620 occur. And if you get in there, man, and things do get weird and you do start to feel a certain way,

00:48:12.800 just, you know, be honest, I would say. Just say, look, ladies, I'm gonna let you guys enjoy each

00:48:18.140 other's company. I'm gonna sit over here and relax, you know, because part of my problem is I would

00:48:22.160 get in there and think I had to be this type of man, you know, that can be started. Then suddenly

00:48:27.500 I'm fighting my own self, you know, now I'm thinking, my dick's thinking. You don't want your dick 1.00

00:48:34.840 thinking, dude. That's what you don't want. And that's what happens a lot of times these days. All of 1.00

00:48:38.980 our men's dick are thinking. And that's why we're not able to achieve sexually as much as we used 1.00

00:48:45.860 to, you know, because there's not as much natural, you know, everybody's thinking, everything's

00:48:54.060 thinking nowadays. It's not as much nature. You know, we're not riding our limbic system as much

00:48:58.840 as we used to. And so we're riding our thoughts and our thoughts, thoughts, your dick don't run on 0.99

00:49:04.140 thoughts. You know what I'm saying? Your dick runs on that, on that fortitude, you know, on that one 1.00

00:49:09.760 drop of freaking, uh, on that one drop of, of, um, of booty LSD that the Lord just dripped into your 1.00

00:49:17.400 spine when he made you. That's what you, and that, that just, that formulates your whole universe 0.84

00:49:22.140 and keeps you out there in them streets, you know, and keeps you out there being able to have 0.99

00:49:26.240 sex and do sex naturally. Cause that's that, that's that, that's that, those natural causes you 0.89

00:49:31.000 have inside of you. But man, if you get out there, dude, wow. Well, if you need help, man,

00:49:37.800 hit up our first caller, that EMT, man, he might be able to get out there and help you out as well.

00:49:41.260 Or maybe that was you that called us EMT. I can't even remember now, man. My brain gets a little bit

00:49:45.240 bad. Um, cause hell it's Sunday evening, you know, but my saints won. So that's truly beautiful.

00:49:51.840 But yeah, man, I appreciate it. And have I ever been in an instance like that? I'll tell you this,

00:49:56.000 dude, I got in this three-way activity one time and I forgot about this. I got in this three-way

00:50:00.980 activity out there in Missouri and that's swinger country. And these are probably young swingers 0.99

00:50:07.160 that hadn't grown up yet and gotten married. And so they were just, and one of these girls

00:50:11.500 real sexy, you know, real, real sexy, you know, like if you saw her at a bus stop and it wasn't 0.80

00:50:17.460 your stop, you might get off the bus, just have a shot to talk with her and then walk to your stop.

00:50:23.520 You know, as long as it wasn't raining, you might do that if you saw this girl.

00:50:26.380 But, um, and her friend looked kind of, she was a little bit Baltic Avenue, if you know

00:50:33.660 what I'm saying, man. She wasn't, I mean, this first baby was damn Marvin Gardens. You know 0.97

00:50:38.200 what I'm saying? She was already around that third corner, you know, she was that kind of

00:50:41.440 looker. But this first baby, you know, this little baby cat was, uh, she was a little more

00:50:45.760 Baltic and, and that's fine, man. She was a sweet girl, both sweet girls. And I went into it just

00:50:53.280 saying, look, I'm gonna do what I can. But that Baltic baby, she had, she kind of, you ever seen

00:51:00.520 like those old, like, uh, weightlifting videos or from like the 1700s or whatever, where the guy has

00:51:07.600 the dumbbells and it's the big round dumbbells and it says like 1000 on each side and he's like

00:51:12.400 holding it up and he's wearing like a unitard, you know, she looked like that, you know, she 0.94

00:51:17.380 had that Bulgarian swagger in her, you know, she had that, you know, that Russian, she was 0.97

00:51:23.120 like, she looked like she's about 90% Russian, you know? And then, um, and so she was like,

00:51:31.540 you know, so I was trying to really make love to the more, you know, the one that I felt,

00:51:37.740 you know, the one that was more of a looker, you know, the one that I wouldn't mind, you know,

00:51:43.560 seeing again. And then her friend was more, she was that rassler, you know, she kept wrapping her 0.87

00:51:49.860 legs. She would do crazy shit too. I remember, like, I remember I was doing a little bit of 1.00

00:51:54.360 doggy style activity, that rear entry position, um, with the woman on her knees and me, the man back

00:52:00.540 behind her. And then the, the, the lady, that little, you know, that little, uh, she was kind 1.00

00:52:06.980 of like a damn, like a, you know, like a, like a, um, like a fast sloth. She kind of was on my back 1.00

00:52:12.940 kind of almost jockeying me, you know? She was like, she's on my back jockeying me and I'm trying

00:52:18.280 to be, you know, I was almost that middle man, you know, a little bit. It's almost like she was

00:52:22.380 like this, this fucking fast Russian backpack I was wearing, you know? And she had her crotch 1.00

00:52:30.120 out and she was doing all kinds of, she was almost doing stunts and shit around us while, 1.00

00:52:34.060 while me and this other girl were making love. And then, you know, one of them was, both of them 0.91

00:52:38.940 was sitting on top of me and, um, it was, it was wild, dude. It was wild, man, but it was pretty

00:52:45.820 enjoyable. Um, but there's also just a lot going on. So you don't know, it's hard to know

00:52:52.360 when to, you know, where you're supposed to be. That's it. You almost need like somebody

00:52:56.380 to do the blocking and do some, okay, you be here. Okay. You know, when the music stops,

00:53:01.220 everybody get in a chair, you know, you almost need, you know, you need a lot going on. You

00:53:06.040 know, you almost need a referee or somebody like a wedding planner if you want a real successful

00:53:10.120 threesome, I think. But, um, outside of that, you know, a different time in Indiana, um, I was

00:53:17.240 with two Indiana sixes and those are Mississippi nines. And, um, and they, and that, that's

00:53:25.300 actually, I think Mississippi does have some beautiful women actually. That's not even 1.00

00:53:28.120 true. And the, uh, and they were cousins, man. And we did some really short, quick, um,

00:53:36.620 sexuality, full-time sex, but at part-time, you know, at part-time, uh, full-time, it was

00:53:44.980 full-time sex, but more at part-time, um, you know, part-time interest. Cause I wasn't

00:53:51.980 super fired up, but those were, you know, those were different days. All right, man. But

00:53:55.820 thank you for calling, dude. Good luck out there. I'd love to know a little bit more about

00:53:58.140 it. If you, if you get into it, man, I want to hear a little bit more about this next call

00:54:02.140 right here. Here we go. Hey, Theo, it's, uh, Brock University of Central Missouri. Oh,

00:54:11.460 Missouri, that's swinger country. And that's where that threesome I was just talking about 1.00

00:54:14.240 in with that Bulgarian, you know, with that backpack Bulgarian. I don't remember what her, 1.00

00:54:18.440 she had like a Japanese name too. What was it? Oh man. Um, maybe sensei or something. Sensei.

00:54:27.020 Her name could have been sensei. Uh, here we go onward. Uh, so.

00:54:32.140 I got a question for you how to handle something. Um, so I'm a, I'm kind of short. I don't really,

00:54:40.900 uh, got a lot of confidence in myself when I, uh, at the bars with other people. Cause you

00:54:48.740 know, I, I don't really know how to talk to a girl or do anything like that. So, uh, yeah,

00:54:56.240 man, I don't know. Uh, I don't know how to handle it, man. I just get in my head. I don't

00:55:01.040 know how to overcome that. Seems like you could have some good advice on this one. Let

00:55:06.380 me know. Thanks, man. Well, Brock, I appreciate you calling, man. I appreciate this. Uh, I

00:55:11.560 appreciate you sharing, willing, being willing to share, you know, what your, um, what your

00:55:15.820 thoughts are on what you see as a problem for yourself and what you feel as a problem for

00:55:19.680 yourself or a difficulty, you know, let's don't label it a problem. You know, it's a difficulty

00:55:24.660 that you're having, um, you know, you're lacking some confidence there. You, you feel

00:55:29.840 like it's associated with your height and you have trouble then, you know, you know,

00:55:35.640 at the bars, you know, or probably more, I'm thinking in the, I'm assuming more, I'm going

00:55:40.360 to assume more in the vein of meeting women, you know, and, you know, and I know you're talking

00:55:44.880 about that. So, you know, I'm kind of like an average heighted dude. I'm kind of stumpy,

00:55:50.440 you know, but I'm kind of an average heighted dude, I think. So I'm going to ask some of

00:55:54.760 our listeners, if you guys will hit the hotline for Brock, 985-664-9503, um, do it now. Do

00:56:02.360 it after you listen. If you are, you know, a man of a shorter height or a woman of a, or

00:56:07.280 not shorter, but of a height that, you know, would have been popular in like the late 1800s

00:56:12.300 or whatever. Or if you are a woman who is, you know, um, your perception of a man who

00:56:19.180 was, you know, of a smaller stature, you know, what, uh, what, give us some thoughts

00:56:25.340 on that, you know, give some insight to Brock, you know, um, he sounds like kind of a younger

00:56:29.940 dude. So give him, you know, some thoughts. Let's, let's, let's, uh, let's open up our,

00:56:34.460 our brains to him because this is something I can't associate on. I cannot, you know, and

00:56:38.900 I'll share some thoughts, but I'm going to let you know, Brock, that I'm going to do a

00:56:42.120 follow-up. I'm going to take a couple of the listeners calls and I'm going to put them

00:56:45.300 together on a follow-up for you this week and we'll post that up. Um, and that'll

00:56:49.040 be just for you so you can listen. I mean, everybody can check it out, but that'll be

00:56:51.640 just for you to, uh, to get other people's insights. What my insights are when it comes

00:56:56.220 to lack of confidence is, you know, sometimes you can gain confidence from other people,

00:57:02.700 you know, and I don't know if you have a group of, of other men, you know, that make you feel

00:57:08.080 kind of confident with who you are no matter what. Uh, I made some, I did some weird shit 0.97

00:57:13.560 in my life over the years, dude, man, I'm going to tell you this. I never told anybody this,

00:57:17.340 bro. When I was in high school, um, you know, cause my eyes kind of go down. I got that Polish 1.00

00:57:23.900 mindset, you know, and Polish people look a little bit dead from like the middle of their, 1.00

00:57:28.680 from the bottom of their forehead to like the top of their nose. Our eyes died. Something

00:57:33.040 happened to us. It's almost like somebody just, you know, like, um, like they cut off the power,

00:57:39.780 you know, when they were making our, our eyes and stuff, we just look a little dead in the

00:57:43.620 eyes. You have to lighten, you have to, you know, spark up sometimes to look interested.

00:57:48.300 And when I was young, I felt just super inferior about my eyes for some reason. And so dude, I wore,

00:57:55.180 I didn't wear it, but I put eye drops in my eyes 40 times a day, man. There wasn't a day Brock that

00:58:02.240 I didn't have a eye dropper on me all day, dude. And I don't even know why, like, what did I just,

00:58:07.880 in my weird mind, I had, you know, no one had ever said anything about my eyes. You know,

00:58:14.360 one kid had called me Chinese one time, you know, and that's fine, whatever, you know,

00:58:18.200 the Chinese, they're plentiful and they're, you know, they have great spices and everything I've

00:58:22.140 learned now, but, you know, but one kid had just made fun of me for that or said that, you know,

00:58:29.420 but I just had this in my head that I was, my eyes were weird and everything. And then

00:58:34.000 next thing you know, I'm doing eye drops. And then I was living with a family when I was in high

00:58:39.560 school and one of the girls had a eyelash curler, dude. And we had picture day at school and I just

00:58:48.320 felt, uh, you know, I'd never seen an eyelash curler. And then I saw her using it. And then I was

00:58:54.620 like, man, I want to have better eyes. You know, I want to have better eyes. So I used a woman's eyelash 1.00

00:59:01.320 curler, you know? Um, and it's not a hot iron where you're like fucking, you know, getting a 0.99

00:59:06.820 damn heated one close to your face. It's just a, you know, one, you just a little one you use. It's 0.98

00:59:12.380 little metal one, but I curled my damn eyelashes, dude, you know, and went to school and, man, oh, 0.98

00:59:20.780 I remember. And I had this jacket on, right? And then at recess or whatever, I took the jacket off. 0.98

00:59:27.480 It's Louisiana. You know, you wear a jacket for nine minutes in the morning. I had it off

00:59:31.760 and somebody put their hand in, in my jacket pocket was like sitting and I moved chair.

00:59:37.020 So it was on the back of my chair. Somebody took my chair at lunch or whatever, put their

00:59:40.840 hands in, pulled this eyelash curler out, dude. And somebody's like, dude, what the fuck 0.99

00:59:45.860 is this? Right. And, um, and literally, bro, I'm sitting there with these curled eyelashes 0.99

00:59:53.980 on picture day, dude. All because I felt inferior about the way that I looked, man.

01:00:01.340 Um, but I'll tell you this, bro, that I noticed, here's my perspective. Uh, guys that are of

01:00:06.920 smaller stature or not horizontally gifted or whatever, you know, little, you know, sweet

01:00:12.500 little gentlemen, they look better. They can get muscle on them, you know? So you, you do

01:00:18.540 curls for two weeks. You're going to, you're going to be jet, you know, but, but, uh, longer

01:00:23.360 people, they got to do longer work to get the muscle. I think that's a gift. Um, I think

01:00:29.520 smaller guys do better at stuff like wrestling, you know, looking for things that are on the 0.96

01:00:33.560 ground, dude, if you're tall, that's a fucking, come on, dude, you can put your back out, but 0.99

01:00:38.700 a small friend to help you find anything that could be on the ground, you know, that's easy 0.99

01:00:42.100 for them. That's natural, you know? So I think there's a lot of advantages to being, uh, of

01:00:46.500 a smaller stature, but I think helping to find a group of people that support you, how you

01:00:50.600 feel no matter what will probably increase some of that confidence. But I'll say this

01:00:54.840 about bars as well. I never felt confident in a bar, you know, especially not at a night

01:01:01.160 club, you know, but I never felt super confident at a bar. It's a weird environment where there's

01:01:07.900 a lot of alcohol, you know, um, you know, rowdy people are being rowdy, you know, sometimes

01:01:13.820 it's not always my vibe, you know, um, especially a nightclub and actually bars. I wasn't as bad,

01:01:20.320 but a nightclub, you know, I felt inferior. A lot of times, man, I felt in fear. There's

01:01:25.500 always something wrong with me. So yeah, we got to increase your confidence, Brock. And

01:01:29.880 I don't know exactly how to do it, but I know you're not the only person who thinks about

01:01:34.480 those things about themselves. We all have something wrong with ourselves, you know? So

01:01:39.020 I mean, if you're a smaller stature, you get to be that fucking mighty mouse. You could 1.00

01:01:42.400 be shit for Halloween. I could never be, dude. You know what I'm saying? You could 1.00

01:01:45.500 be a gerbil, you know, you could be a, um, you know, you could be Danny DeVito, you know,

01:01:52.800 you could be, um, uh, what else could you be? Oh, Sonic the Hedgehog. You know, you got

01:01:59.820 access to kind of smaller scale costumes, you know, and that's, that's pretty, you know,

01:02:05.360 that's a rarity, you know? And I know some of these ideas maybe aren't helpful, but I'm

01:02:09.660 thinking some of our other people can give you helpful ideas. So if you guys hit the

01:02:12.380 hotline for Brock, if you're a smaller, shorter stature, um, how he can increase some of his

01:02:16.760 confidence, uh, I'll share those in a separate video. We'll put that up on Wednesday or Thursday.

01:02:21.660 I'm going to say Thursday. So that'll give me a little more time to get it done. All

01:02:24.740 right, let's hear a little bit more. Next caller.

01:02:27.960 Hey, Theo, it's Dave from Texas. Uh, just got, you know, listened to the podcast and stuff

01:02:34.680 talking about relationships and all that. I just got out of a, uh, thing with this girl.

01:02:40.320 She was kind of a, it was like a long distance thing. And, uh, you know, she kind of said

01:02:46.500 she wanted to break, not break things off, but take a break for a while while she figures

01:02:51.160 stuff out. Cause we're both busy people. We have children. We have, you know, one child

01:02:57.020 each, you know what I mean?

01:02:58.700 Okay. So you're in a long distance relationship. You got one child each and you're already in

01:03:02.040 a long distance relationship. And now you want to take a break. Okay. Onward.

01:03:06.940 I have a child. I have a daughter. Uh, she has a son. Yeah. Y'all both got one child

01:03:13.440 each. Okay. Stuff like that. You know, just stuff like that. I mean, we're talking about

01:03:18.560 children here, but yeah, that's just, that's children, man. That's not stuff like that.

01:03:22.960 Stuff like that is some books or something, you know, or some, you know, a box of hats,

01:03:27.200 but I feel you though onward distance and all that stuff kind of like not making sense

01:03:32.820 right now. So I guess taking a little break, but I was just wondering if you had any advice

01:03:37.700 for people who are like, you know, kind of depressed about that situation. You know, it

01:03:42.200 can't be with somebody that you want, even though you want to, or, you know, sometimes

01:03:48.320 you just don't want to get out of bed and go to work just cause you're thinking about all

01:03:51.720 that. And yeah, man, I appreciate this call. Um, yeah, I can relate to this, man. I had

01:03:58.540 a girlfriend that was long distance and I, you know, I loved her as much as I knew about

01:04:03.760 love at the time. You know, I loved her. Um, she was worth love. You know, she was worth

01:04:09.260 me loving. She was worth me caring about. Uh, she was a good person. Um, and I wasn't a good

01:04:16.020 dude, you know, I was running around, I was, you know, cheating and, you know, you know, 0.93

01:04:20.920 I made some poor choices, you know, snacking on some, you know, distant crotch out in the 0.99

01:04:25.160 distance and doing that kind of deal. But she was, uh, and she'd made some poor choices.

01:04:30.120 We both, you know, we both tried our best cause it was long distance. That was the, uh, that's

01:04:35.380 the correlation with yours or the parallel is that it was long distance, you know, but

01:04:41.300 when she finally shut me off and it was really the best thing to do because I was just volatile,

01:04:48.880 man, I wouldn't show her as much affection and stuff. But then once she shut me off, I

01:04:54.220 was all, I was like all over, you know, I was, you know, then everything was so severe 0.99

01:04:59.320 and we were so in love, you know, I was just like deep in that shit like that, you know, 0.98

01:05:03.520 I was in there like that. And part of that ended up just being a problem in hindsight that 0.98

01:05:09.520 I had, you know, I had this issue of my own, there's some, that was my own issue. You

01:05:15.520 know, it wasn't, I mean, there was some stuff about her, you know, I missed her and stuff

01:05:18.840 like that, but, but I, I didn't have any, I think I looked to her for more than a relationship. 0.97

01:05:32.220 I was looking to her to fulfill some role that was impossible for her to fulfill. Like

01:05:40.580 I was looking for her to be my happiness. That's what I was looking for, man. I know

01:05:44.520 that may sound crazy, but I was looking for her to be my happiness and that's, and that's 0.65

01:05:50.680 not realistic. You know, you can't put that pressure on somebody because they'll never

01:05:55.760 live up to it. You know, they're never going to be able to be that, you know, they can

01:06:00.000 help, you know, it'll be part-time happiness for you, but they're never going to be able

01:06:02.980 to fully fulfill that. And so I didn't realize I'd put that pressure on her, but once we

01:06:09.360 split up, dude, I was just like, my whole life is over, you know, even though my life

01:06:15.120 had been kind of, you know, we were long distance when we were, you know, my life had been kind

01:06:19.380 of okay, you know, so I found for me, I put like this invisible pressure. And in the end,

01:06:24.860 it was more about, you know, me figuring out, well, why do I feel, you know, why do I feel

01:06:34.020 alone? You know, why do I feel this alone? Because it wasn't really her filling me up

01:06:42.060 that much, making me feel unalone, you know? And whenever she left, it sparked this thing

01:06:48.140 in me because that's how I got, bro. I got depressed. I'm chilling at the house. You know,

01:06:52.020 I'm eating cereals. I'm eating a box of cereal a day, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like a

01:06:57.560 damn, like a mentally challenged person or like a, you know, like a second wife that's 1.00

01:07:04.440 not, you know, pulling their weight. You know, I'm just at home eating a box of cereal a day. 1.00

01:07:12.980 You know, and I always started doing menthol cigarettes in the backyard and I was just

01:07:16.800 so depressed and I was putting it all on her. But the truth was for me that I was alone,

01:07:21.100 that I was feeling empty no matter. And whatever happened with her just sparked. It was a spark

01:07:25.940 that set off that empty dynamite inside of me that made me, you know, just made me realize how

01:07:31.660 empty I was. You know, so I think maybe just, I know it's a lot. It sounds like you have a child

01:07:37.640 there. So I'd focus on that if you can, you know, um, honor some of those feelings when you're missing

01:07:44.680 her, but don't let that feeling, if you can help it, try and what is that feeling? Oh man, I miss her

01:07:50.720 so much, you know, I'm going to go, you know, I'm going to be depressed. I'm going to, you know,

01:07:55.960 not want to get out of bed. I'm going to do those types of things because then there's more to it.

01:08:00.860 You know, there's more to it. What else? Is there something else? Are you missing,

01:08:05.240 you know, are you lacking a relationship with your mother? You know, are you missing,

01:08:09.260 you know, uh, other outlets that make you feel like you, you know, find some shit to do. 0.88

01:08:15.400 I think, you know, pick up a new hobby, you know, just create more of you so that there's not so much

01:08:22.840 space in there for someone else to, um, that if they leave, that there's so much haunting,

01:08:32.480 there's so much space for that haunting feeling. Cause she's, it maybe seemed like maybe she's,

01:08:37.200 she's gone. And now those haunting feelings are just bouncing off the walls inside of you. And

01:08:42.280 there's so much emptiness inside of you because you're not filled up with some of yourself or more

01:08:46.880 of yourself. And those are just some thoughts, man, because that's what, that's what my problem was.

01:08:51.960 In the end, there wasn't enough of me inside of me, you know, to hold me up, you know, no matter who

01:08:58.820 came along, you know, and filled in that other space. Um, I needed to give them less space inside of

01:09:05.720 me, you know, so that if they came or went, I was still had enough fortitude to hold myself up

01:09:11.520 no matter who that was that came along. So, and I don't know what some of those things are. It

01:09:16.520 could be, you know, finding a local group, you know, there's a group online called mankind. I know

01:09:21.940 that helps men get there, you know, just be men, you know, and fill ourselves up, you know, with, um,

01:09:29.380 with whatever we need to, uh, to be better men in a relationship or out of a relationship.

01:09:34.600 And those are just thoughts, man, you know, but I do feel some of your pain, man. And just know

01:09:38.540 you're not alone in that game, bro. I'm saying I've been on those fucking pain streets, dude, 0.99

01:09:43.200 laying at my step parents' house, fucking eating snacks, dude. Dude, I remember one time laying 0.99

01:09:48.920 on the ground and just pouring a full fucking can of planters nuts into my mouth, dude. And 0.99

01:09:55.340 just wishing the devil would take me or that the Lord would send me on. That's what I remember,

01:09:59.860 dude. And that shit ain't, some woman didn't really do that to me in hindsight. Something was 1.00

01:10:05.940 empty inside of me. And I was trying to fill it with these can nuts, you know, and asking for the

01:10:10.600 devil. So, but I appreciate your call, man. That's a, that's a good bit of calls. We have some other

01:10:15.640 cool ones, man. Um, we got a call about a sperm center, uh, that I wanted to get to, but I'm not

01:10:22.120 going to get to it today because, you know, I just feel like I don't like taking up too much of y'all's

01:10:26.680 time, but actually, you know what, man, I'll put some, uh, I got to do some extra stuff for the

01:10:30.920 Patreon. I want to thank my Patreon supporters and, um, and I want to thank all of my listeners,

01:10:35.800 man. And I want to thank the callers, 985-664-9503. Hit the hotline, you know, um, and that's it,

01:10:44.500 you know, it's, you know, we're all battling something, you know, and that's something to

01:10:49.060 remember, whether you feeling, you feeling short in stature, you know, whether you feeling,

01:10:53.720 you know, you know, if you get into a threesome, how will I hold up, you know, will I still be able

01:11:01.400 to, you know, take my man, you know, be a man, talk to your wife before you go in, you guys are

01:11:05.640 on the same team in that thing. You know, it's like the old school. It's like, uh, you know, it's

01:11:10.700 like, um, Shawn Michaels and Marty Gennetti, the rockers, uh, versus, um, versus Hawk and Animal,

01:11:17.960 you know, it's like an old wrestling, you know, that's like wrestling, you know, a foursome,

01:11:21.540 that's like wrestling, going there with a teammate, you know, have a referee, hire a

01:11:25.000 referee even, you know, to, to make sure that everything runs smoothly if you need to in

01:11:29.200 that instance. Uh, but we all have questions, you know, we all have questions every day that

01:11:34.100 we're asking ourselves, um, and that we're asking each other, you know, and sometimes get

01:11:38.880 somebody else's perception and, and, um, and try not to make things too heavy if you can,

01:11:46.480 you know, you might be a little shorter this time and maybe you five, you know, five this

01:11:50.820 time, you know, but maybe next time you six, four, you know, and you're a brother and you

01:11:56.220 dunking on people, you know, in the mean streets of Chicago, you know, so you don't know what

01:12:02.540 you're going to get next time, you know, and this is all part time, you know, but just don't

01:12:06.540 be alone out there. Ask somebody for help. If you need help, if you need assistance, if

01:12:10.680 you need just somebody else to shoulder your burden, man, because once you tell somebody

01:12:14.480 else your problem, instead of sitting on two shoulders, now it's riding on four, baby,

01:12:18.560 a little bit lighter, isn't it? But I appreciate you guys hitting me up, man. I'm gonna fucking

01:12:22.460 try to keep my shit together, dude. Jeepers. You know, I just, I sometimes just get selfish, 0.99

01:12:33.720 man. That's what I find. I just want to, you know, I don't want to do things sometimes for

01:12:38.180 other people and I want to just think about myself. That's something that I've been, you

01:12:42.180 know, I just got to, we got to get free of ourselves, man. We got to, we got to. I appreciate

01:12:48.300 you guys. Be well, man. Take care of yourselves. Let's hit this original on the way out. This

01:12:53.760 is Spencer Jacob Grau band. Celebrate.

01:12:57.220 Celebrate it, man. Celebrate it. Don't take things too seriously, you know. If somebody's

01:13:26.580 dying, finish your fries, you know what I'm saying. Life's serious enough, dude. Go home.

01:13:46.780 Love your family. Love yourself.

01:13:57.600 That'll help, man. Thank you guys for being here for me today, this week, this past weekend. You

01:14:04.800 guys take care. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll

01:14:14.940 be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your

01:14:20.220 partner. The answer may shock you. Sometimes I'll interview my friends. Sometimes I won't. And as

01:14:27.040 always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head. You have three new voice messages. A lot of people

01:14:33.700 are talking about Kite Club. I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody

01:14:39.200 else. So great. Hi, sweetheart. Here's a deal. Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy

01:14:46.840 bloody wanker. Charmaine. Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry. Sorry, sir, but our 1.00

01:14:53.880 ice cream machine is broken. I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me. Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is

01:15:02.260 tell everyone about Kite Club. Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club. Third rule,

01:15:09.320 like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube. Yeah. And yes,

01:15:14.640 don't worry. My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 23, 2017

10-23-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #47

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