10-23-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #47
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 15 minutes
Words per Minute
190.64296
Summary
Jimmie Hendrix's cover of Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix is one of the most underrated classics of all time, and it was written and produced by a man named Tiny Sandhau, who also happens to grow up in my neighborhood.
Transcript
00:00:42.220
Sound like somebody drowning and playing a guitar at the same time to me.
00:00:48.980
And that is music sent in from a man named Tiny Sandhu.
00:01:18.300
And that's Voodoo Child that he played himself.
00:01:36.580
And I know they had a boy named Small Island growing up in my neighborhood.
00:01:39.320
And who could do, who could hang off of his daddy's scrotum and wiener.
00:01:51.500
You know, sometimes people, you know, his daddy was in the Eastern European vaudeville in the circus.
00:02:04.420
You know, and his, but Small could hang off of his daddy's, when his daddy would drink, his daddy would drop drawer.
00:02:12.040
And Small could grip onto his daddy's wiener and balls, you know.
00:02:19.200
Not at the bottom like a fucking, you know, like a fucking, you know, midget on a punching bag.
00:02:25.260
I'm talking up at the top, you know, where the rubber meets the road.
00:02:29.720
He could grip them at the top and just hang there, hang off of his daddy's, you know, fertile accomplishment pieces.
00:02:38.540
And that was pretty wild that Small could do that.
00:02:40.880
And the Small Island, fellow that grew up in my neighborhood.
00:02:45.660
I'm sure that's probably the Small Island of India, maybe.
00:02:55.740
And one of these days, I'm just going to play you some of the, you know what, next week, right now, next week, I'm going to play you that.
00:03:01.580
But some of the ones that have been sent in, man.
00:03:09.140
But I'm going to send you the type of stuff that people have sent in that they felt was a complimentary to the show.
00:03:14.400
And to me, it's, some of it's just, it's striking and it's interesting and it's great, man.
00:03:23.980
Like somebody just, you know, I mean, it's something else, man.
00:03:29.820
But anyhow, welcome to this past weekend, October 23rd.
00:03:35.400
And I know Halloween's right around the corner.
00:03:37.640
And also, I want to welcome you to this past weekend because we have our new first charter sponsor.
00:03:50.380
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00:04:00.060
They got the Frenchie, the Quad, the Bella Goat.
00:04:11.060
If you lean in out for the beach or for prom or for a second marriage, if you're trying to cut some gut.
00:04:17.300
Hit that salad pizza if you're trying to cut some gut.
00:04:19.400
If you're Italian or if you're not, it's the place, Gray Block Pizza.
00:04:33.360
We're happy to have them on board as our first charter sponsor.
00:04:37.040
And I'm excited for you guys to be here with me on this past weekend.
00:05:00.080
You know, it's on Netflix and it's about serial killers.
00:05:05.400
You know, people that kill somebody and then also want to kill somebody again.
00:05:08.560
Because apparently if you kill someone, it's enjoyable.
00:05:13.980
Honestly, sometimes, I think it's sometimes in the dark recesses of my mind.
00:05:19.640
You know, that if I just wrap my, you know, meek little palms.
00:05:33.280
I got the fingers of like somebody who makes pasta or, you know, makes pasta in a cave.
00:05:40.640
You know, I got real just, I mean, if you set my, if you painted my fingers brown and just hung them out the window, a bird would land on them.
00:05:47.420
You know, I got them lean little branch, just little branch giblets, you know, almost could easily be made out of wood.
00:06:02.060
You know, I mean, I'm just probably, I'm a half hour away from carpal tunnel, I bet.
00:06:06.300
You know, I do a Rubik's Cube and I get hit with that carpal tunnel.
00:06:13.260
If I started to fall off a cliff and I grabbed for a rock, dude, I would definitely still fall off a cliff.
00:06:19.340
I don't have that kind of, you know, that hand strength, you know.
00:06:22.980
I could maybe throw a pool ball, like a billiard ball.
00:06:30.840
But I'm heavy in the, I'm girthy in the shoulders.
00:06:33.600
I'm girthy in that up, in that, I got that uproar.
00:06:37.820
Like, I took a deep breath and it just got stuck inside of me forever.
00:06:48.960
If they crack me open, you'd have a bunch of damn, I bet you'd have a bunch of brothers and sisters showing up at the park because it's time to barbecue if they crack me open and you know that.
00:07:00.500
Well, first I want to thank Tiny again for the music.
00:07:02.740
And look, Tiny, I'll tell you this, Tiny, I don't know about music.
00:07:05.480
But, you know, I've never been a big music man.
00:07:08.820
You know, you're talking to a guy who's seen Goo Goo Dolls four times.
00:07:12.280
You know, you're talking to a guy who would probably go to a Miley Cyrus concert.
00:07:16.000
You know, if I had a box seat, I'm not staying down in the bottom with the, you know, with the children and PDOs that are down there.
00:07:24.760
And Miley Cyrus is a place where I bet a lot of people that are, you know, PDO and they're even out there just to have a good time and not even to meet children.
00:07:31.720
Because it's kind of that kind of fun music where everybody enjoys it.
00:07:35.980
But, you know, you're talking to a guy who, you know, I've been, have also been to see that widespread panic.
00:07:41.480
You know, I've caught maybe six or seven of their shows.
00:07:44.220
You know, I've slept out in a van in a parking lot with a bunch of people that's, you know, men and women smell the same and have the same haircut.
00:07:50.960
And, you know, they got different, you know, they're eating grilled cheeses out of each other's, you know, crotch.
00:07:59.720
You know, people that are, you know, selling homemade biscuits out of a van and laying next to dogs or wolves at night.
00:08:06.880
You know, and eating spider webs and, you know, who knows what else.
00:08:12.120
I've been around those types of people that, you know, go to string cheese incidents and do the other stuff and listen to fish, you know, and ride around and learn to juggle and shit, even though they're in their early 40s.
00:08:23.240
I've been around some of those damn fucking, you know, architects, whatever they are, shit architects.
00:08:31.920
But, you know, so I don't have much of a music, but Tiny Sand who sent the music in and I'm grateful for it.
00:08:39.060
If you haven't seen this, now, first of all, the thing is about Mindhunter, it's about people learning that serial killers think differently.
00:08:45.780
And I've always been obsessed with, you know, with serial killing a little bit.
00:08:51.340
For some reason, my mother had us watching America's Most Wanted as a child.
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That was the show that our family got together and watched.
00:08:58.420
And, man, that was, I just remember being so scared.
00:09:01.640
And I don't know if, my mother probably should not have let us watch it.
00:09:05.140
But my mother, we were adults early because we, there weren't a lot of, you know, she kind of let us make our own choices, really, in a lot of ways.
00:09:14.400
And, you know, of course, as a kid, you're like, oh, I can handle whatever.
00:09:17.420
But I remember hiding behind the sofa sometimes at some of the stories.
00:09:26.300
You know, you won't see a friend for three or four days.
00:09:31.220
And they're like, nah, man, I, you know, I didn't have the flu, dude.
00:09:37.960
You know, I had a, I had a heavy case of the Ozark.
00:09:40.120
I came down with it and then my lady came down with it.
00:09:43.000
You know, and then spouses start fighting because you're on different episodes.
00:09:51.360
He thought he'd be cute, come in drunk and watch two episodes of Ozark without me.
00:09:59.940
You know, you always doing, you watch six Datelines without me.
00:10:08.100
But you got couples getting into episode fights, you know, and it's ruining bedroom stuff, you
00:10:13.660
know, because they don't want to be in that, you know, people on different episodes and
00:10:16.080
they feel like that that's how they relate anymore.
00:10:19.900
Play some Scrabble with your wife or play some damn cards.
00:10:23.100
Take a night off, sit in front of each other, look into each other's eyes.
00:10:26.760
But with that said, man, I love some damn serial killing and I've never had a strong
00:10:30.860
taste or knowledge base for music because you know what happened to me?
00:10:34.380
For years I drove around, I wouldn't even listen to music in my car.
00:10:38.480
Maybe I could be a SK, serial killer, because that's the kind of serial killer things, things
00:10:47.560
You know, and I think I just got addicted to listening to my own thoughts.
00:10:53.200
I would just drive around and listen to my own fucking thoughts that were on repeat,
00:11:03.040
So, you know, at least whatever you sent me, Tiny Sand, who was better than me listening
00:11:14.820
People are getting fired up because Halloween is coming up.
00:11:28.120
The only person I could probably strangle about a, I bet, I bet I could strangle about a 13
00:11:34.000
Anything over than that, I would need assistance.
00:11:40.960
I got fingers that are just, you know, like I have trouble sometime with a Ziploc.
00:11:46.600
You know, for me, red and, you know, yellow and blue, most of the time still just make
00:11:51.580
I got to call somebody in because I'm just, I don't have that, I don't have heavy pressure
00:11:58.920
You know, she has, but she's strong, but she got them lean fingers, I think.
00:12:04.300
I mean, my father, by the time I got a look at his fingers, my father was, you know, 80
00:12:10.800
So I think anything I get that's not working good, I think it's maybe it's safe to assume
00:12:16.280
You know, the genetics on there probably, you know, I might have these senior citizen fingers.
00:12:21.900
But, uh, but yeah, that Mindhunter, I got trapped.
00:12:24.500
And you can get trapped in these episodes, man.
00:12:26.460
You're watching, you wake up in the middle of the night, you go to piss.
00:12:29.540
Next thing you know, you're four episodes deep in, uh, you know, breaking bag because
00:12:37.000
You know, it's just, it's, it's intense out there.
00:12:40.040
And, uh, Stranger Things is coming back in a week and a half.
00:12:46.200
But I, I, um, I, I got, I got caught watching that show, that Mindhunter, and it's about serial
00:12:57.960
I remember when I was young, I used to collect those.
00:13:01.860
Remember, they used to have these blue and white cards.
00:13:03.920
They were white, but with blue, it was missing person.
00:13:09.660
And they would send them to you in the mail every week or every other week.
00:13:12.860
And they'd have pictures, two pictures of children.
00:13:15.740
And, uh, one was when they, when they went missing and one was what they assumed they looked
00:13:23.420
And I remember I would look at them all the time.
00:13:25.160
And some people are thinking, well, that's a serial killer type of thing to do.
00:13:28.020
But I did it because I remember, I just, I, I don't know.
00:13:38.100
Maybe I wonder, maybe if I had been a missing person or something.
00:13:41.240
I think I felt so out of place in my own life sometimes that, that maybe I thought one
00:13:46.740
of those cards would come and be like, oh, this is, you know.
00:13:50.360
This is where I've been or what's been going on.
00:13:54.800
You know, I think I just felt missing, you know.
00:14:03.700
For some reason, I would collect them and I would look at them all the time.
00:14:05.940
And I remember one time I thought I saw one of the children.
00:14:08.360
So that's a little bit of a dark thing that they think about this morning.
00:14:14.140
You know, I was keeping tabs on some of the different kids that were coming across that were
00:14:26.560
There's a new podcast as well out that's called Dirty John that you might want to listen to.
00:14:34.560
But I think that that's something you might enjoy.
00:14:42.800
I don't know if you've heard of this gentleman or not.
00:14:46.260
I hadn't listened to, I haven't been to a music show in a while.
00:14:53.920
It's a tall gentleman, originally from Ghana, grew up in California.
00:15:01.320
This dude has, he's playing the guitar some, and he's playing the piano, and he's got these
00:15:06.940
pedals that are looping everything, and there's these lights going on, and there's, he's doing
00:15:17.100
It was like somebody, you know, took a big bat and knocked my head right off of my body,
00:15:23.020
and my head was just flying through space, and I wasn't in any pain, and my eyes were
00:15:27.800
open, and my ears were open, and I was just traveling through the galaxy.
00:15:33.640
So if you get a chance to check him out, Moses Sumney is this guy's name, M-O-S-E-S-S-U-M-N-E-Y.
00:15:40.640
I haven't met the gentleman in person, but it was pretty cool.
00:15:45.700
I remember, you know, when I was a child, we would eat drugs and go in there.
00:15:51.020
You know, the first concert I ever went to was Marilyn Manson.
00:15:54.100
You know, speaking of spooky stuff, and me and my buddy Scotty, who was really fancy,
00:16:00.080
I mean a real Fauntleroy of a boy, you know, kind of nice looking, you know, looked like
00:16:04.700
his whole body, like it just was made out of conditioner, because I didn't know they
00:16:11.020
So I was probably, you know, maybe 19 or 21 or something, you know?
00:16:16.360
But I, but he, he looked like he just, you know, like, like just damn baby goats came
00:16:22.100
at night and just licked his body while he was sleeping, you know, and did his hair with
00:16:26.240
their tongues, because he looked soft like that.
00:16:28.780
He looked not soft in a bad way, but he just looked, you know, fully manicured by God,
00:16:36.720
You know, he looked like them baby goats was taking care of him at night.
00:16:43.000
He looked like he could, he could go a couple of days without brushing his teeth if he wanted
00:16:47.400
It looked like he could brush his teeth with his hands and it would have still come out
00:16:54.320
And I remember me and him went to Marilyn Manson and we met this dude, Big Richard.
00:16:59.500
And I've told some of this story before, he ended up getting busted.
00:17:01.640
He got busted actually for P filing out there, you know, it allegedly, but he went to jail
00:17:07.180
And he was a senior citizen and, and he took us, dropped us off at Marilyn Manson, bro.
00:17:15.900
Before they were huge, when they were just popping off, just popping off, they were playing
00:17:20.440
at this probably 250 person venue called the Rendon Inn in New Orleans.
00:17:27.280
And me and Scott are there under age, 14 years old, listening to Marilyn Manson.
00:17:32.820
And I remember being in the bathroom urinating and some man walked in and he's like, what
00:17:41.880
This was a Marilyn Manson was like when they were, you know, he would cut his drummer open
00:17:46.060
on stage with a bottle and the drummer would go to the hospital and like really go to the
00:17:51.760
Like, not like we're just going to get some pictures of him at a ready med or at a 24 hour,
00:17:56.340
you know, you know, uh, saloon or something, medical saloon.
00:18:02.600
This one, they would really go to the hospital.
00:18:05.300
And, uh, and I remember being in the bathroom urinating and some guys like, what are these
00:18:11.860
And me and my buddy was in there urinating separately, you know, cause I don't do joint
00:18:16.880
And I never have, even when I was a child, you know, shoulder to shoulder, dude, give me
00:18:25.240
Unless we're in the military, dude, we're not touching each other's bodies and holding
00:18:32.980
Now, if you want to go off at a game of gay chicken, we can play that all day.
00:18:36.440
But as, you know, as young adults standing here shoulder to shoulder, come on now.
00:18:42.140
So I'm in there, my buddy's in there and we're like, uh, the guy's like, what are these
00:18:48.680
And some other dude goes, I don't know, but I'm sure somebody will fuck them up.
00:18:54.200
And when you're a kid, dude, and you hear that kind of shit, you're just like, Jesus,
00:19:04.180
And I think it was right around Halloween time when that happened too, man.
00:19:07.520
And so I remember that got us in the mood to be spooked out for sure, dude, for sure.
00:19:15.400
Coming up, the kids just talking to my buddy on the phone.
00:19:18.160
He said he got his son, they got a Batman outfit, but the muscles already built in.
00:19:27.820
When I was young, dude, if you got that Batman, that thing was a piece of shit, dude.
00:19:37.520
They had this girl in, um, they had this girl in our neighborhood, Big Melissa, even though
00:19:45.080
And I mean, I could, you could guess why they called her Big Melissa.
00:19:50.160
But I mean, she had the biggest head I've ever seen, dude.
00:19:54.980
I mean, that head was probably, I would guess it was, I don't know, it was probably eight
00:20:00.040
and a half by 11, like a sheet of paper, maybe, but sideways, you know, long ways.
00:20:05.340
And I remember she would put that, uh, that the mask on for that Halloween costume.
00:20:12.320
And, but when I was young and it had the side of the mask, it would cut into your face, dude.
00:20:21.900
It would push her whole head up into the mask, almost like a cookie, right?
00:20:27.120
It would just be cut out around the sides, man.
00:20:30.680
Just, I mean, just chirped out around the sides.
00:20:35.180
So after she took it off her whole face for a couple of days, it had been molded into whatever
00:20:39.620
she was, you know, like a little gummy bear or, uh, what else did they have?
00:20:44.480
Gummy bears or Winnie the Pooh or a, you know, a cat.
00:20:50.020
That thing would stick to her face and she had to have help getting it off that mask.
00:20:54.920
And the Batman costume, when I was young, when I was a piece of shit, you know, my
00:20:58.460
buddy's telling me that his son has the muscles built in.
00:21:02.180
Dude, when I was young, you had to damn hit the gym.
00:21:04.280
Even if you, I don't care if he was nine years old, dude, you better hit the gym, dude.
00:21:09.560
You better get on some high quality breast milk, dude.
00:21:11.780
You better skip a baby in the tit line and catch a little bit of breast milk and put on
00:21:16.780
If you want to fill out a Batman costume, you had to make your own, you had to, you had
00:21:23.200
You know, if you wanted to be something, you had to be it.
00:21:27.120
You know, if you wanted to be a, you know, a army war veteran, you know, you might find,
00:21:32.140
you know, you might, uh, break your arm a couple of weeks before and be in a cast, you
00:21:36.540
know, or, you know, hobble yourself, you know, and tie your legs together, you know, for a
00:21:47.620
Now these kids getting costumes with the muscles built in, hit the fucking gym, young buck or
00:21:55.760
Why don't you hit the gym for six weeks before October 31st and fill out that costume naturally.
00:22:03.580
That's a problem sometimes with America, you know, these kids want to cut corners, but
00:22:14.060
I remember one kid wanted to be a Oscar the Grouch, right?
00:22:19.200
He just duct taped this huge, a bag of trash to his back, dude.
00:22:23.600
He looked like a, I mean, he looked like a homeless Ninja Turtle, really.
00:22:29.160
He just, I mean, he had just a huge bag of just garbage and the garbage just leaked.
00:22:34.600
Just a garbage he found on the street, you know, about a street.
00:22:37.200
And he just duct taped it like 40 different ways around his back.
00:22:41.380
And the bag was so heavy, it kept weighing him down.
00:22:43.660
So sometimes he'd fall back on his back and we have to, you know, push him up by the shoulders
00:22:49.400
But he was supposed to be a damn Oscar the Grouch, but no can, you know, I guess kind
00:22:54.860
of like a naked Oscar the Grouch, you know, a little bit mildly naked because he didn't
00:23:01.680
And I remember it being fun, but I've been getting into these TV shows and I'm just saying
00:23:05.460
that some of them are addictive, you know, they're addictive, man.
00:23:08.200
You get into these shows and they're just addictive, they're just addictive, you know?
00:23:12.740
And it's, it's almost, I don't want to say it's, it's too addictive, but it's almost,
00:23:18.900
I feel like dangerous sometimes when this binge watching comes out because it just, it makes
00:23:25.900
If you're not in control, like I'm not in control sometimes, you know, and I have an
00:23:29.720
addictive personality and I will quickly get into it and then I can't get out, you know?
00:23:35.760
So that's tough TV watching for people that aren't able to get in and out of things very
00:23:46.820
And I did some comedy sets, um, had a good time.
00:23:50.520
I saw Brendan Schaub, uh, saw Rogan, I saw, uh, Bobby Lee, guys that I love.
00:23:58.060
Uh, we got the new, I'm doing this pilot for Comedy Central.
00:24:00.620
If you live in the California area and are a man who has been going through something,
00:24:04.640
or you are a woman who has a husband or boyfriend who's been going through something wild, you
00:24:11.280
You know, maybe he's afraid to pop the marriage question, or maybe you're afraid to pop the,
00:24:15.720
whatever it is, I need men who are dealing with men stuff, you know, men who are dealing
00:24:26.520
Uh, we're putting together this pilot and it's going to be pretty neat.
00:24:29.240
Just want to hear some stories and see if we can possibly incorporate one of them into
00:24:34.500
Um, and that project actually is based on this podcast.
00:24:40.340
If we didn't start this and get this going, then that opportunity doesn't prevent it, present
00:24:51.060
I, um, I, uh, I remember other costumes that I had as a kid, you know, I remember being
00:24:58.640
a firefighter and I didn't really have a costume dude.
00:25:07.100
So we filled that wagon with a little bit of kerosene and he, um, he would pull the wagon
00:25:18.840
And then I had like a bat and like a fake gun and I was running behind the wagon of fire
00:25:26.620
So it's kind of a, I mean, I guess even at that time it was kind of a play on words and
00:25:30.540
it was a little bit, I mean, it was a little damn ridiculous in hindsight, you know, but,
00:25:35.780
um, but I remember, remember being a firefighter when I was a kid.
00:25:43.240
I remember being a, um, I remember being, I was on a, on a boat one time and people were
00:25:52.500
using each other's pubic hair to make, um, you know, mustaches and beards because we didn't
00:25:59.660
I was raggedy and a couple of times on accident and I was raggedy Andy.
00:26:06.840
Maybe when I was a baby, I might've been a damn pumpkin.
00:26:11.100
Um, I saw, I saw my little nephew got a costume and he's going to be a, a, uh, a native American,
00:26:19.140
you know, and he's going to do it honorably, I think, you know?
00:26:22.260
So I'm sure I hope he honors them as he gets out and does some trick or treating, but that's
00:26:28.200
I saw some people out in costume this weekend and guess what?
00:26:31.140
Uh, fuck those people because that's too early to be out in costume.
00:26:47.240
And also ladies, be careful if you invest something in your child.
00:26:50.620
If you got a child out there and you're just going to buy your child a $13 costume, but
00:26:54.720
you're going to go spend three, four hundred on yourself, you know, looking like a, you
00:26:59.420
know, if you're going to dress up like a slutty snail or something, you know, maybe even it
00:27:03.660
out, maybe, you know, get you something else like, you know, a, a conservative, uh, maybe
00:27:09.500
be a conservative, you know, a conservative calamari and, and get your son, maybe your daughter,
00:27:15.800
maybe a hundred dollar outfit, but get something good, you know, but happy Halloween
00:27:20.360
I mean, I think we'll have one more episode before Halloween, so I'll maybe get into a
00:27:23.180
little bit more then, but, uh, but I just wanted to wish everybody a happy Halloween.
00:27:30.080
The news, I haven't really watched much of it, you know, um, Trump's, you know, always,
00:27:35.940
you know, tweeting at everybody, um, and they're fighting.
00:27:43.940
Hillary's going to fucking run again, and she's going to, and I bet she would lose.
00:27:51.300
This whole thing is this twisted ego universe, man.
00:27:56.000
You know, it's so crazy how egos and bruised egos, all these politicians, man.
00:28:01.560
I would vote a waffle iron into the White House if I could, because I hope this whole thing,
00:28:07.080
that's why I think Trump's hilarious a lot of times, because he doesn't give a fuck, you
00:28:12.120
know, and that's bad, and at some point it's a bad example, you know, because you want
00:28:15.980
somebody to give, you know, but he's just like this crazy kind of business guy who has,
00:28:20.920
who's complete empath, you know, it's like, but then sometimes that's what a lot of America
00:28:27.360
I think sometimes we don't want to, we don't want to be realistic about Trump because
00:28:30.820
it's like, I think he embodies some of exactly what we are, you know, exactly what a lot of
00:28:38.040
America as a, you know, as a cloth sometimes it feels like has become just this, you know,
00:28:44.400
it's about making money, it's about business, you know, it's about cutting corners, you know.
00:28:52.880
But it's just funny because Obama made fun of Trump years ago at that speech, at that
00:28:58.800
He's like, oh, you know what, I could have your job, and he does, and he gets his job,
00:29:02.820
and then Hillary loses, and she's so butthurt, and then she's gonna, and I know, I can just
00:29:15.260
And that's why, for me, it's exciting because it makes, people are fired up, people are angry,
00:29:24.280
I've never, I've never depended on politics to have ever had, I didn't feel like an effect
00:29:30.620
on my life, like they were gonna bring, I don't need that, you know, for my comfort.
00:29:36.760
Now, it would get super scary if, you know, there's a war, something crazy like that breaks
00:29:43.180
But at the same time, you know, is that what we, I mean, we're at a point where it's like
00:29:51.200
Mother Nature's about to whoop everybody's ass, she's already doing it, you know.
00:29:55.500
I don't think we're, I don't think as humans, sometimes we're being, we're behaving, we
00:30:00.680
are, I don't know if it's behaving, but is, are we, are we best serving ourselves, you
00:30:12.500
But I ask myself that question, and I look around and base that on my own eyes, you know.
00:30:17.540
I mean, the me, you know, the news has gone to a level, that shit's, the news will get
00:30:21.720
people killed, dude, if you follow the news, getting people killed, dude, oh, everything's
00:30:34.460
Dude, go read the lines on Yahoo, their headlines.
00:30:42.600
You gotta keep your face out of the smut, dude.
00:30:48.100
I just think it's just, everything has become the WWE.
00:30:50.300
The Rock, I've heard real rumors in Hollywood, this is real, real stuff, that The Rock is
00:30:59.040
And the crazy thing is that Hollywood created, they helped create Trump.
00:31:02.820
There's no, that's the funniest thing to me sometimes.
00:31:07.080
You had all these people in Hollywood, like, are so angry about Trump.
00:31:14.620
You know, that platform, somebody in Hollywood made millions and millions and millions and
00:31:23.280
I'm sure, I don't even know what network it is or what producer, whoever's attached.
00:31:31.660
There's no way that he wins if he doesn't have that format, that platform, that show.
00:31:36.280
You know, I just, there's just so many, and I just think it's funny because I love seeing
00:31:50.640
But when it comes to the reality of things, what do I do?
00:31:59.740
I try to be of service to my friends and family.
00:32:12.520
Mother Teresa said, you want to change the world?
00:32:16.380
I'm not out of here fiercely bitching all day about this.
00:32:25.460
Politics never, these people, these politicians never did anything for me.
00:32:31.360
It's like a lot of people are shocked that, oh, Hollywood or that, you know, it's now the
00:32:36.880
biggest thing is that, like, oh, it's opioided America.
00:33:00.900
Oh, I get to be poor while the rich keep getting richer and the disparity of wealth in America
00:33:08.000
And while politicians seem, the second they get elected, you can tell this, the whole
00:33:13.720
thing, you can see in their eyes that most of them are already thinking about their, the
00:33:22.000
wealth they're going to make on these speaking tours afterwards.
00:33:24.520
Well, the least that can happen is it can be an entertaining fucking four years.
00:33:43.620
I'm not trying to, like, shove it down anybody, but I'm telling you that that's how poor people
00:33:50.460
People are just tired of fucking watching the same show.
00:33:59.820
I'm sorry to go off on those deep ends sometimes, but, you know, I just, what?
00:34:04.820
I'm just, uh, I'm just such a mortal, you know?
00:34:10.940
And, uh, and I'm just trying to stay alive, I think, you know?
00:34:15.280
But I just, I'm fascinated that, that, uh, I'm just fascinated of what, what everything's
00:34:28.440
It's the hardest thing sometimes to go through and to recognize while it's happening.
00:34:38.420
And I think the end, the outcome is always greater than what was the energies or whatever
00:34:51.840
Like, hey, won't be seeing you guys for a while.
00:34:55.940
Well, you know, that's, that's probably not a good one.
00:35:01.560
Uh, first, I want to tell you guys, though, that November 14th through, no, November 16th
00:35:07.560
through 19th, I will be in Huntsville, Alabama at Stand Up Live Huntsville.
00:35:12.680
And also, I want to tell you that Dollar Shave Club is the smarter choice.
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You get your first month with the Executive Razor for only $5 with free shipping.
00:36:13.160
You can also go to patreon.com, p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash theovon, t-h-e-o-v-o-n.
00:36:19.500
There will be exclusive footage, extended footage, from today's episode there.
00:36:24.880
And I want to thank all my Patreoners, that Gunt Squad, you know, for supporting,
00:36:30.340
and all of my Patreon, those bumpers, everybody, for being a part of things.
00:36:34.940
All right, guys, let's get into some of your calls.
00:36:36.580
You had some this weekend, and I appreciate it, man, what was going on in your lives.
00:36:46.280
Hey, this is Tommy Judson, your buddy from Ohio.
00:36:49.500
My wife and I saw you in Baltimore and met you last year.
00:37:06.820
I got offered into a mixed bag over there, a threesome in, and that was in Baltimore.
00:37:13.680
Anyway, I was an EMT for a lot of years, and you reminded me of the time when I went into a, some dude literally in Ohio, some dude literally fell off his bar stool and died.
00:37:31.940
He had a cardiac arrest, and we were doing CPR and, you know, jamming him with needles.
00:37:38.560
And as I was giving him CPR, literally looking into his dead eyes, really wild.
00:37:52.280
We go from, you know, being that human to being, having a little bit of fish in us really quick.
00:37:57.040
You know, having a little bit of fish in us really, really quick.
00:38:01.200
The people in the bar were still sitting there eating their french fries and dipping their chicken wings in the blue cheese.
00:38:08.600
So, yeah, people are weird around this, this death genre or like.
00:38:21.120
I spoke last week about how I was around that choking incident.
00:38:25.500
You know, I saw a woman was choking to death and her husband just kind of massaging her shoulders and kind of rubbing her neck a little bit.
00:38:31.100
Like she had a fucking, you know, like she had a knot, you know, like she'd had a tough, you know, a tough job, you know, a tough afternoon doing, you know, tries and traps or whatever.
00:38:42.660
But, you know, this, this man was just, you know, his wife was choking and other people sitting around and just almost don't know what to do.
00:38:51.960
Don't, it's a, it's this, this pause that comes over everyone.
00:38:56.600
So, yeah, I mean, that's pretty fascinating that people are still eating snacks.
00:39:01.380
That's one of the things you see back in Rome, you know, when they got a, you know, they got a vulture or, you know, seven or eight vultures fighting a, you know, a pickpocket.
00:39:09.660
You know, and they put him out there in the ring and they're, you know, you know, and they're chasing him and, you know, you know, biting his kneecaps off and all of that shit.
00:39:20.660
All these vultures are, you know, just, you know, pecking moles off his back and stuff.
00:39:24.740
And, and, and the, the whole time the crowd is just sitting there cheering and eating snacks and everything.
00:39:31.780
And it's amazing how sometimes we get so Roman when somebody's dying.
00:39:35.440
You know, I remember being at a buffet as a child.
00:39:39.160
He sometimes would take us to the Holiday Inn buffet up there on Saturday.
00:39:44.740
They had a man up there in a fancy hat that made waffles, dude.
00:39:53.540
And my, man, we did not get along with my stepdad.
00:39:55.560
But we would be nice with my, with my mom's boyfriend.
00:39:59.100
But he, we would be nice though sometime to get that waffle, you know, get that hitter in our mouth.
00:40:04.540
You know, get that baked, that fucking big hot, you know, that big hot fucking French cookie, man, or whatever it is.
00:40:13.920
You know, A-F-F-L-E, waffles, waffles, waffles, I'm not sure.
00:40:23.280
When people, when somebody dying, some people still want to eat.
00:40:33.000
And the first thing you do, boy, I mean, hell, if somebody's breastfeeding next to me, I'll fuck.
00:40:37.700
I'll take a hit off that, off that fucking, that nippled bag.
00:40:42.000
Because the first thing you want to do is sustain, you know.
00:40:47.220
I mean, it's like at the end of Grapes of Wrath, that lady, they got a lady with breasts.
00:40:54.420
You know, people take, or strangers or something, taking a hit off a woman's breast for survival.
00:40:59.560
So I think if you see somebody dying, you know, fucking you might just crack open a bag of Frito-Lays or some snow peas or something.
00:41:12.140
And thanks for your service out there as an EMT, dude.
00:41:15.160
You know, you guys are out there on the front lines of fucking overdoses and all of that shit.
00:41:21.860
If you have a good story, actually, if you are, buzz me in sometime and let me know on the hotline what some of the stories you have are.
00:41:29.860
And that hotline number is 985-664-9503 as well.
00:41:34.380
So if you want to get involved in it and you're not involved in it, hit the hotline.
00:42:05.360
And I have the same haircut as a lot of those women.
00:42:08.020
And I see a lot of them checking my shit out, too, online.
00:42:10.120
I see y'all on Instagrams trying to hock my shit.
00:42:31.180
I wanted to know if that would make things weird at work, if I dabbled a little bit in
00:42:38.820
And also, do you think that if I partook in any of this, it would make me feel, you know,
00:42:47.140
emasculated in any way to have, you know, maybe my wife enjoying this a little bit.
00:43:03.660
They call it a bass trap, dude, when they got two, when two lesbians are hitting on you.
00:43:07.900
You know, they're trying to get you in that bass trap.
00:43:13.120
I mean, that's, I feel like that's intimidating.
00:43:15.840
If both of them are eights, I have a feeling one of them's an eight and one of them's a
00:43:24.120
You know, because sometimes it's hard to get, you know, two real hitters at an eight
00:43:36.620
You know, that's me being a little bit judgmental there.
00:43:40.420
Because what I'm saying is, you know, one of my buddies one night came up to me at a
00:43:46.020
bar and he's like, man, I got these five girls I want to hook up with me.
00:43:49.080
And I looked at them and he's like, they were all twos, you know.
00:43:52.440
And he's like, dude, five twos make a 10, right?
00:43:57.420
But I'm like, dude, that's, you know, at a certain point, you're not even, what type
00:44:04.860
If there's five, you know, and these women were all the same height, all little women,
00:44:11.060
It sounds like a, it sounds like a Japanese game show more than he was getting involved
00:44:17.320
But it can be intimidating, you know, if you get in that environment with the two ladies
00:44:20.660
and that, now a bass trap is when two lesbians get you into, you know, they get you into
00:44:25.500
But then one of them, that killer, you know what I'm saying?
00:44:29.020
Because one of them is always that Sugar Ray Leonard, the sweet one.
00:44:31.860
And then one of them comes in and she's that George Foreman, you know, that gorilla.
00:44:35.940
One of them comes in that gorilla boy and the gorilla be laying down the law.
00:44:39.740
And that gorilla sometimes will show you who's boss.
00:44:44.120
And that's where it can be a little bit weird, dude.
00:44:46.180
And that's where it can be a little bit weird where the gorilla shows up and, you know,
00:44:52.580
that George Foreman shows up and she just starts putting it on your, on her lady in front
00:44:56.400
of you after you already got in there, you know, or when you're about to be next, you
00:45:02.940
She's, you know, batting practice and you still over there in a batter's box, you know,
00:45:06.940
and you start getting nervous and, you know, and she's bringing in fake instruments to
00:45:11.100
She got some fake pecker tied to her, you know, to her rib cage or something.
00:45:15.080
And that's how, you know, they're getting into it and that's okay.
00:45:17.920
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of this, you know, I mean, hell, I got
00:45:21.820
a lesbian's haircut, you know, I've taken this haircut.
00:45:24.800
I've styled it after different lesbian cuts that I've seen, you know, always my father
00:45:28.560
told me I had the heart of a lesbian when I was a child and I've always tried to live
00:45:32.460
up to his, you know, things that I guess we all try to live up to things that our father
00:45:36.760
wants out of us and the things that our father tells us about us, you know, that always
00:45:46.740
You know, and that's, dude, I'd love to know more if you navigate those waters, dude.
00:45:50.480
If you out there Huck Fennin' and Black Gemmin' out there, baby, I'd love to know with that
00:45:57.040
mighty Trista Sippy, if you get into that Trist, baby, if you get into that Trist, man, with
00:46:03.000
Now, if you bring your wife in, gee, dude, this is a damn movie you're living in.
00:46:10.660
So you got two Ohio 8s, you're out there gunning with one man penis, you got a man penis running
00:46:21.180
So I'd pop a five milli of Cialis for you, get out there.
00:46:26.200
Don't put your dancing shoes on your dick because you don't want to, you know what I'm
00:46:30.320
You don't want to, you don't want to show up to the ballpark wearing sandals.
00:46:34.800
So I'd pop a five milli just to stay in, just to stay in the, you know, stay, just to keep
00:46:40.720
That way, if you fade out once, you could chill in the back, you know, have you, you know,
00:46:45.260
a snack, some, you know, a small snack or something, couple orange slices, and then get
00:46:49.580
back out there and be hitting that, you know, gunning down on them late on that crotch.
00:46:54.500
Because at that point, those ladies are going to be tag teaming your wife, you know, you're
00:46:57.860
going to be sitting in the distance, they're going to be out there tag teaming, you know,
00:47:01.740
one of them is going to be having her in a headlock and one of them is going to be flying
00:47:04.060
off the top ropes, you know, and putting everything, you know, putting her grill into the mat and
00:47:08.800
all of that, you know, and doing different things, you know, doing, you know, leg locks,
00:47:14.080
doggy style leg locks and all of that, you know, it's going to be, I don't know.
00:47:18.340
And then also, will it be weird if your wife sees you not perform super well?
00:47:23.780
Like, you don't want to be, you know, you don't want them to be going out there at it,
00:47:26.980
you know, one of them's got a bunch of, you know, some yarn tied around her waist and with that,
00:47:30.660
you know, one of them plastic Johnsons, you know, hanging off her rib cage and she's,
00:47:36.080
you know, she's straight up R buckling that clam on the, you know, with her lady,
00:47:40.920
with her lesbian lover and you're sitting on the sidelines, you know, and your wife's
00:47:45.260
howling off your forehead and shit and you only was at it three or four minutes, that could be
00:47:48.980
scary, bro. Wow, man, this is interesting because I can't even imagine being in that situation,
00:47:55.860
all the things, if it could happen or would happen. Man, dude, that's brave, man, that's really,
00:48:02.600
really brave. You know, if you get in there, I'd love to know a little bit more about it if it does
00:48:06.620
occur. And if you get in there, man, and things do get weird and you do start to feel a certain way,
00:48:12.800
just, you know, be honest, I would say. Just say, look, ladies, I'm gonna let you guys enjoy each
00:48:18.140
other's company. I'm gonna sit over here and relax, you know, because part of my problem is I would
00:48:22.160
get in there and think I had to be this type of man, you know, that can be started. Then suddenly
00:48:27.500
I'm fighting my own self, you know, now I'm thinking, my dick's thinking. You don't want your dick
00:48:34.840
thinking, dude. That's what you don't want. And that's what happens a lot of times these days. All of
00:48:38.980
our men's dick are thinking. And that's why we're not able to achieve sexually as much as we used
00:48:45.860
to, you know, because there's not as much natural, you know, everybody's thinking, everything's
00:48:54.060
thinking nowadays. It's not as much nature. You know, we're not riding our limbic system as much
00:48:58.840
as we used to. And so we're riding our thoughts and our thoughts, thoughts, your dick don't run on
00:49:04.140
thoughts. You know what I'm saying? Your dick runs on that, on that fortitude, you know, on that one
00:49:09.760
drop of freaking, uh, on that one drop of, of, um, of booty LSD that the Lord just dripped into your
00:49:17.400
spine when he made you. That's what you, and that, that just, that formulates your whole universe
00:49:22.140
and keeps you out there in them streets, you know, and keeps you out there being able to have
00:49:26.240
sex and do sex naturally. Cause that's that, that's that, that's that, those natural causes you
00:49:31.000
have inside of you. But man, if you get out there, dude, wow. Well, if you need help, man,
00:49:37.800
hit up our first caller, that EMT, man, he might be able to get out there and help you out as well.
00:49:41.260
Or maybe that was you that called us EMT. I can't even remember now, man. My brain gets a little bit
00:49:45.240
bad. Um, cause hell it's Sunday evening, you know, but my saints won. So that's truly beautiful.
00:49:51.840
But yeah, man, I appreciate it. And have I ever been in an instance like that? I'll tell you this,
00:49:56.000
dude, I got in this three-way activity one time and I forgot about this. I got in this three-way
00:50:00.980
activity out there in Missouri and that's swinger country. And these are probably young swingers
00:50:07.160
that hadn't grown up yet and gotten married. And so they were just, and one of these girls
00:50:11.500
real sexy, you know, real, real sexy, you know, like if you saw her at a bus stop and it wasn't
00:50:17.460
your stop, you might get off the bus, just have a shot to talk with her and then walk to your stop.
00:50:23.520
You know, as long as it wasn't raining, you might do that if you saw this girl.
00:50:26.380
But, um, and her friend looked kind of, she was a little bit Baltic Avenue, if you know
00:50:33.660
what I'm saying, man. She wasn't, I mean, this first baby was damn Marvin Gardens. You know
00:50:38.200
what I'm saying? She was already around that third corner, you know, she was that kind of
00:50:41.440
looker. But this first baby, you know, this little baby cat was, uh, she was a little more
00:50:45.760
Baltic and, and that's fine, man. She was a sweet girl, both sweet girls. And I went into it just
00:50:53.280
saying, look, I'm gonna do what I can. But that Baltic baby, she had, she kind of, you ever seen
00:51:00.520
like those old, like, uh, weightlifting videos or from like the 1700s or whatever, where the guy has
00:51:07.600
the dumbbells and it's the big round dumbbells and it says like 1000 on each side and he's like
00:51:12.400
holding it up and he's wearing like a unitard, you know, she looked like that, you know, she
00:51:17.380
had that Bulgarian swagger in her, you know, she had that, you know, that Russian, she was
00:51:23.120
like, she looked like she's about 90% Russian, you know? And then, um, and so she was like,
00:51:31.540
you know, so I was trying to really make love to the more, you know, the one that I felt,
00:51:37.740
you know, the one that was more of a looker, you know, the one that I wouldn't mind, you know,
00:51:43.560
seeing again. And then her friend was more, she was that rassler, you know, she kept wrapping her
00:51:49.860
legs. She would do crazy shit too. I remember, like, I remember I was doing a little bit of
00:51:54.360
doggy style activity, that rear entry position, um, with the woman on her knees and me, the man back
00:52:00.540
behind her. And then the, the, the lady, that little, you know, that little, uh, she was kind
00:52:06.980
of like a damn, like a, you know, like a, like a, um, like a fast sloth. She kind of was on my back
00:52:12.940
kind of almost jockeying me, you know? She was like, she's on my back jockeying me and I'm trying
00:52:18.280
to be, you know, I was almost that middle man, you know, a little bit. It's almost like she was
00:52:22.380
like this, this fucking fast Russian backpack I was wearing, you know? And she had her crotch
00:52:30.120
out and she was doing all kinds of, she was almost doing stunts and shit around us while,
00:52:34.060
while me and this other girl were making love. And then, you know, one of them was, both of them
00:52:38.940
was sitting on top of me and, um, it was, it was wild, dude. It was wild, man, but it was pretty
00:52:45.820
enjoyable. Um, but there's also just a lot going on. So you don't know, it's hard to know
00:52:52.360
when to, you know, where you're supposed to be. That's it. You almost need like somebody
00:52:56.380
to do the blocking and do some, okay, you be here. Okay. You know, when the music stops,
00:53:01.220
everybody get in a chair, you know, you almost need, you know, you need a lot going on. You
00:53:06.040
know, you almost need a referee or somebody like a wedding planner if you want a real successful
00:53:10.120
threesome, I think. But, um, outside of that, you know, a different time in Indiana, um, I was
00:53:17.240
with two Indiana sixes and those are Mississippi nines. And, um, and they, and that, that's
00:53:25.300
actually, I think Mississippi does have some beautiful women actually. That's not even
00:53:28.120
true. And the, uh, and they were cousins, man. And we did some really short, quick, um,
00:53:36.620
sexuality, full-time sex, but at part-time, you know, at part-time, uh, full-time, it was
00:53:44.980
full-time sex, but more at part-time, um, you know, part-time interest. Cause I wasn't
00:53:51.980
super fired up, but those were, you know, those were different days. All right, man. But
00:53:55.820
thank you for calling, dude. Good luck out there. I'd love to know a little bit more about
00:53:58.140
it. If you, if you get into it, man, I want to hear a little bit more about this next call
00:54:02.140
right here. Here we go. Hey, Theo, it's, uh, Brock University of Central Missouri. Oh,
00:54:11.460
Missouri, that's swinger country. And that's where that threesome I was just talking about
00:54:14.240
in with that Bulgarian, you know, with that backpack Bulgarian. I don't remember what her,
00:54:18.440
she had like a Japanese name too. What was it? Oh man. Um, maybe sensei or something. Sensei.
00:54:27.020
Her name could have been sensei. Uh, here we go onward. Uh, so.
00:54:32.140
I got a question for you how to handle something. Um, so I'm a, I'm kind of short. I don't really,
00:54:40.900
uh, got a lot of confidence in myself when I, uh, at the bars with other people. Cause you
00:54:48.740
know, I, I don't really know how to talk to a girl or do anything like that. So, uh, yeah,
00:54:56.240
man, I don't know. Uh, I don't know how to handle it, man. I just get in my head. I don't
00:55:01.040
know how to overcome that. Seems like you could have some good advice on this one. Let
00:55:06.380
me know. Thanks, man. Well, Brock, I appreciate you calling, man. I appreciate this. Uh, I
00:55:11.560
appreciate you sharing, willing, being willing to share, you know, what your, um, what your
00:55:15.820
thoughts are on what you see as a problem for yourself and what you feel as a problem for
00:55:19.680
yourself or a difficulty, you know, let's don't label it a problem. You know, it's a difficulty
00:55:24.660
that you're having, um, you know, you're lacking some confidence there. You, you feel
00:55:29.840
like it's associated with your height and you have trouble then, you know, you know,
00:55:35.640
at the bars, you know, or probably more, I'm thinking in the, I'm assuming more, I'm going
00:55:40.360
to assume more in the vein of meeting women, you know, and, you know, and I know you're talking
00:55:44.880
about that. So, you know, I'm kind of like an average heighted dude. I'm kind of stumpy,
00:55:50.440
you know, but I'm kind of an average heighted dude, I think. So I'm going to ask some of
00:55:54.760
our listeners, if you guys will hit the hotline for Brock, 985-664-9503, um, do it now. Do
00:56:02.360
it after you listen. If you are, you know, a man of a shorter height or a woman of a, or
00:56:07.280
not shorter, but of a height that, you know, would have been popular in like the late 1800s
00:56:12.300
or whatever. Or if you are a woman who is, you know, um, your perception of a man who
00:56:19.180
was, you know, of a smaller stature, you know, what, uh, what, give us some thoughts
00:56:25.340
on that, you know, give some insight to Brock, you know, um, he sounds like kind of a younger
00:56:29.940
dude. So give him, you know, some thoughts. Let's, let's, let's, uh, let's open up our,
00:56:34.460
our brains to him because this is something I can't associate on. I cannot, you know, and
00:56:38.900
I'll share some thoughts, but I'm going to let you know, Brock, that I'm going to do a
00:56:42.120
follow-up. I'm going to take a couple of the listeners calls and I'm going to put them
00:56:45.300
together on a follow-up for you this week and we'll post that up. Um, and that'll
00:56:49.040
be just for you so you can listen. I mean, everybody can check it out, but that'll be
00:56:51.640
just for you to, uh, to get other people's insights. What my insights are when it comes
00:56:56.220
to lack of confidence is, you know, sometimes you can gain confidence from other people,
00:57:02.700
you know, and I don't know if you have a group of, of other men, you know, that make you feel
00:57:08.080
kind of confident with who you are no matter what. Uh, I made some, I did some weird shit
00:57:13.560
in my life over the years, dude, man, I'm going to tell you this. I never told anybody this,
00:57:17.340
bro. When I was in high school, um, you know, cause my eyes kind of go down. I got that Polish
00:57:23.900
mindset, you know, and Polish people look a little bit dead from like the middle of their,
00:57:28.680
from the bottom of their forehead to like the top of their nose. Our eyes died. Something
00:57:33.040
happened to us. It's almost like somebody just, you know, like, um, like they cut off the power,
00:57:39.780
you know, when they were making our, our eyes and stuff, we just look a little dead in the
00:57:43.620
eyes. You have to lighten, you have to, you know, spark up sometimes to look interested.
00:57:48.300
And when I was young, I felt just super inferior about my eyes for some reason. And so dude, I wore,
00:57:55.180
I didn't wear it, but I put eye drops in my eyes 40 times a day, man. There wasn't a day Brock that
00:58:02.240
I didn't have a eye dropper on me all day, dude. And I don't even know why, like, what did I just,
00:58:07.880
in my weird mind, I had, you know, no one had ever said anything about my eyes. You know,
00:58:14.360
one kid had called me Chinese one time, you know, and that's fine, whatever, you know,
00:58:18.200
the Chinese, they're plentiful and they're, you know, they have great spices and everything I've
00:58:22.140
learned now, but, you know, but one kid had just made fun of me for that or said that, you know,
00:58:29.420
but I just had this in my head that I was, my eyes were weird and everything. And then
00:58:34.000
next thing you know, I'm doing eye drops. And then I was living with a family when I was in high
00:58:39.560
school and one of the girls had a eyelash curler, dude. And we had picture day at school and I just
00:58:48.320
felt, uh, you know, I'd never seen an eyelash curler. And then I saw her using it. And then I was
00:58:54.620
like, man, I want to have better eyes. You know, I want to have better eyes. So I used a woman's eyelash
00:59:01.320
curler, you know? Um, and it's not a hot iron where you're like fucking, you know, getting a
00:59:06.820
damn heated one close to your face. It's just a, you know, one, you just a little one you use. It's
00:59:12.380
little metal one, but I curled my damn eyelashes, dude, you know, and went to school and, man, oh,
00:59:20.780
I remember. And I had this jacket on, right? And then at recess or whatever, I took the jacket off.
00:59:27.480
It's Louisiana. You know, you wear a jacket for nine minutes in the morning. I had it off
00:59:31.760
and somebody put their hand in, in my jacket pocket was like sitting and I moved chair.
00:59:37.020
So it was on the back of my chair. Somebody took my chair at lunch or whatever, put their
00:59:40.840
hands in, pulled this eyelash curler out, dude. And somebody's like, dude, what the fuck
00:59:45.860
is this? Right. And, um, and literally, bro, I'm sitting there with these curled eyelashes
00:59:53.980
on picture day, dude. All because I felt inferior about the way that I looked, man.
01:00:01.340
Um, but I'll tell you this, bro, that I noticed, here's my perspective. Uh, guys that are of
01:00:06.920
smaller stature or not horizontally gifted or whatever, you know, little, you know, sweet
01:00:12.500
little gentlemen, they look better. They can get muscle on them, you know? So you, you do
01:00:18.540
curls for two weeks. You're going to, you're going to be jet, you know, but, but, uh, longer
01:00:23.360
people, they got to do longer work to get the muscle. I think that's a gift. Um, I think
01:00:29.520
smaller guys do better at stuff like wrestling, you know, looking for things that are on the
01:00:33.560
ground, dude, if you're tall, that's a fucking, come on, dude, you can put your back out, but
01:00:38.700
a small friend to help you find anything that could be on the ground, you know, that's easy
01:00:42.100
for them. That's natural, you know? So I think there's a lot of advantages to being, uh, of
01:00:46.500
a smaller stature, but I think helping to find a group of people that support you, how you
01:00:50.600
feel no matter what will probably increase some of that confidence. But I'll say this
01:00:54.840
about bars as well. I never felt confident in a bar, you know, especially not at a night
01:01:01.160
club, you know, but I never felt super confident at a bar. It's a weird environment where there's
01:01:07.900
a lot of alcohol, you know, um, you know, rowdy people are being rowdy, you know, sometimes
01:01:13.820
it's not always my vibe, you know, um, especially a nightclub and actually bars. I wasn't as bad,
01:01:20.320
but a nightclub, you know, I felt inferior. A lot of times, man, I felt in fear. There's
01:01:25.500
always something wrong with me. So yeah, we got to increase your confidence, Brock. And
01:01:29.880
I don't know exactly how to do it, but I know you're not the only person who thinks about
01:01:34.480
those things about themselves. We all have something wrong with ourselves, you know? So
01:01:39.020
I mean, if you're a smaller stature, you get to be that fucking mighty mouse. You could
01:01:42.400
be shit for Halloween. I could never be, dude. You know what I'm saying? You could
01:01:45.500
be a gerbil, you know, you could be a, um, you know, you could be Danny DeVito, you know,
01:01:52.800
you could be, um, uh, what else could you be? Oh, Sonic the Hedgehog. You know, you got
01:01:59.820
access to kind of smaller scale costumes, you know, and that's, that's pretty, you know,
01:02:05.360
that's a rarity, you know? And I know some of these ideas maybe aren't helpful, but I'm
01:02:09.660
thinking some of our other people can give you helpful ideas. So if you guys hit the
01:02:12.380
hotline for Brock, if you're a smaller, shorter stature, um, how he can increase some of his
01:02:16.760
confidence, uh, I'll share those in a separate video. We'll put that up on Wednesday or Thursday.
01:02:21.660
I'm going to say Thursday. So that'll give me a little more time to get it done. All
01:02:24.740
right, let's hear a little bit more. Next caller.
01:02:27.960
Hey, Theo, it's Dave from Texas. Uh, just got, you know, listened to the podcast and stuff
01:02:34.680
talking about relationships and all that. I just got out of a, uh, thing with this girl.
01:02:40.320
She was kind of a, it was like a long distance thing. And, uh, you know, she kind of said
01:02:46.500
she wanted to break, not break things off, but take a break for a while while she figures
01:02:51.160
stuff out. Cause we're both busy people. We have children. We have, you know, one child
01:02:58.700
Okay. So you're in a long distance relationship. You got one child each and you're already in
01:03:02.040
a long distance relationship. And now you want to take a break. Okay. Onward.
01:03:06.940
I have a child. I have a daughter. Uh, she has a son. Yeah. Y'all both got one child
01:03:13.440
each. Okay. Stuff like that. You know, just stuff like that. I mean, we're talking about
01:03:18.560
children here, but yeah, that's just, that's children, man. That's not stuff like that.
01:03:22.960
Stuff like that is some books or something, you know, or some, you know, a box of hats,
01:03:27.200
but I feel you though onward distance and all that stuff kind of like not making sense
01:03:32.820
right now. So I guess taking a little break, but I was just wondering if you had any advice
01:03:37.700
for people who are like, you know, kind of depressed about that situation. You know, it
01:03:42.200
can't be with somebody that you want, even though you want to, or, you know, sometimes
01:03:48.320
you just don't want to get out of bed and go to work just cause you're thinking about all
01:03:51.720
that. And yeah, man, I appreciate this call. Um, yeah, I can relate to this, man. I had
01:03:58.540
a girlfriend that was long distance and I, you know, I loved her as much as I knew about
01:04:03.760
love at the time. You know, I loved her. Um, she was worth love. You know, she was worth
01:04:09.260
me loving. She was worth me caring about. Uh, she was a good person. Um, and I wasn't a good
01:04:16.020
dude, you know, I was running around, I was, you know, cheating and, you know, you know,
01:04:20.920
I made some poor choices, you know, snacking on some, you know, distant crotch out in the
01:04:25.160
distance and doing that kind of deal. But she was, uh, and she'd made some poor choices.
01:04:30.120
We both, you know, we both tried our best cause it was long distance. That was the, uh, that's
01:04:35.380
the correlation with yours or the parallel is that it was long distance, you know, but
01:04:41.300
when she finally shut me off and it was really the best thing to do because I was just volatile,
01:04:48.880
man, I wouldn't show her as much affection and stuff. But then once she shut me off, I
01:04:54.220
was all, I was like all over, you know, I was, you know, then everything was so severe
01:04:59.320
and we were so in love, you know, I was just like deep in that shit like that, you know,
01:05:03.520
I was in there like that. And part of that ended up just being a problem in hindsight that
01:05:09.520
I had, you know, I had this issue of my own, there's some, that was my own issue. You
01:05:15.520
know, it wasn't, I mean, there was some stuff about her, you know, I missed her and stuff
01:05:18.840
like that, but, but I, I didn't have any, I think I looked to her for more than a relationship.
01:05:32.220
I was looking to her to fulfill some role that was impossible for her to fulfill. Like
01:05:40.580
I was looking for her to be my happiness. That's what I was looking for, man. I know
01:05:44.520
that may sound crazy, but I was looking for her to be my happiness and that's, and that's
01:05:50.680
not realistic. You know, you can't put that pressure on somebody because they'll never
01:05:55.760
live up to it. You know, they're never going to be able to be that, you know, they can
01:06:00.000
help, you know, it'll be part-time happiness for you, but they're never going to be able
01:06:02.980
to fully fulfill that. And so I didn't realize I'd put that pressure on her, but once we
01:06:09.360
split up, dude, I was just like, my whole life is over, you know, even though my life
01:06:15.120
had been kind of, you know, we were long distance when we were, you know, my life had been kind
01:06:19.380
of okay, you know, so I found for me, I put like this invisible pressure. And in the end,
01:06:24.860
it was more about, you know, me figuring out, well, why do I feel, you know, why do I feel
01:06:34.020
alone? You know, why do I feel this alone? Because it wasn't really her filling me up
01:06:42.060
that much, making me feel unalone, you know? And whenever she left, it sparked this thing
01:06:48.140
in me because that's how I got, bro. I got depressed. I'm chilling at the house. You know,
01:06:52.020
I'm eating cereals. I'm eating a box of cereal a day, dude. You know what I'm saying? Like a
01:06:57.560
damn, like a mentally challenged person or like a, you know, like a second wife that's
01:07:04.440
not, you know, pulling their weight. You know, I'm just at home eating a box of cereal a day.
01:07:12.980
You know, and I always started doing menthol cigarettes in the backyard and I was just
01:07:16.800
so depressed and I was putting it all on her. But the truth was for me that I was alone,
01:07:21.100
that I was feeling empty no matter. And whatever happened with her just sparked. It was a spark
01:07:25.940
that set off that empty dynamite inside of me that made me, you know, just made me realize how
01:07:31.660
empty I was. You know, so I think maybe just, I know it's a lot. It sounds like you have a child
01:07:37.640
there. So I'd focus on that if you can, you know, um, honor some of those feelings when you're missing
01:07:44.680
her, but don't let that feeling, if you can help it, try and what is that feeling? Oh man, I miss her
01:07:50.720
so much, you know, I'm going to go, you know, I'm going to be depressed. I'm going to, you know,
01:07:55.960
not want to get out of bed. I'm going to do those types of things because then there's more to it.
01:08:00.860
You know, there's more to it. What else? Is there something else? Are you missing,
01:08:05.240
you know, are you lacking a relationship with your mother? You know, are you missing,
01:08:09.260
you know, uh, other outlets that make you feel like you, you know, find some shit to do.
01:08:15.400
I think, you know, pick up a new hobby, you know, just create more of you so that there's not so much
01:08:22.840
space in there for someone else to, um, that if they leave, that there's so much haunting,
01:08:32.480
there's so much space for that haunting feeling. Cause she's, it maybe seemed like maybe she's,
01:08:37.200
she's gone. And now those haunting feelings are just bouncing off the walls inside of you. And
01:08:42.280
there's so much emptiness inside of you because you're not filled up with some of yourself or more
01:08:46.880
of yourself. And those are just some thoughts, man, because that's what, that's what my problem was.
01:08:51.960
In the end, there wasn't enough of me inside of me, you know, to hold me up, you know, no matter who
01:08:58.820
came along, you know, and filled in that other space. Um, I needed to give them less space inside of
01:09:05.720
me, you know, so that if they came or went, I was still had enough fortitude to hold myself up
01:09:11.520
no matter who that was that came along. So, and I don't know what some of those things are. It
01:09:16.520
could be, you know, finding a local group, you know, there's a group online called mankind. I know
01:09:21.940
that helps men get there, you know, just be men, you know, and fill ourselves up, you know, with, um,
01:09:29.380
with whatever we need to, uh, to be better men in a relationship or out of a relationship.
01:09:34.600
And those are just thoughts, man, you know, but I do feel some of your pain, man. And just know
01:09:38.540
you're not alone in that game, bro. I'm saying I've been on those fucking pain streets, dude,
01:09:43.200
laying at my step parents' house, fucking eating snacks, dude. Dude, I remember one time laying
01:09:48.920
on the ground and just pouring a full fucking can of planters nuts into my mouth, dude. And
01:09:55.340
just wishing the devil would take me or that the Lord would send me on. That's what I remember,
01:09:59.860
dude. And that shit ain't, some woman didn't really do that to me in hindsight. Something was
01:10:05.940
empty inside of me. And I was trying to fill it with these can nuts, you know, and asking for the
01:10:10.600
devil. So, but I appreciate your call, man. That's a, that's a good bit of calls. We have some other
01:10:15.640
cool ones, man. Um, we got a call about a sperm center, uh, that I wanted to get to, but I'm not
01:10:22.120
going to get to it today because, you know, I just feel like I don't like taking up too much of y'all's
01:10:26.680
time, but actually, you know what, man, I'll put some, uh, I got to do some extra stuff for the
01:10:30.920
Patreon. I want to thank my Patreon supporters and, um, and I want to thank all of my listeners,
01:10:35.800
man. And I want to thank the callers, 985-664-9503. Hit the hotline, you know, um, and that's it,
01:10:44.500
you know, it's, you know, we're all battling something, you know, and that's something to
01:10:49.060
remember, whether you feeling, you feeling short in stature, you know, whether you feeling,
01:10:53.720
you know, you know, if you get into a threesome, how will I hold up, you know, will I still be able
01:11:01.400
to, you know, take my man, you know, be a man, talk to your wife before you go in, you guys are
01:11:05.640
on the same team in that thing. You know, it's like the old school. It's like, uh, you know, it's
01:11:10.700
like, um, Shawn Michaels and Marty Gennetti, the rockers, uh, versus, um, versus Hawk and Animal,
01:11:17.960
you know, it's like an old wrestling, you know, that's like wrestling, you know, a foursome,
01:11:21.540
that's like wrestling, going there with a teammate, you know, have a referee, hire a
01:11:25.000
referee even, you know, to, to make sure that everything runs smoothly if you need to in
01:11:29.200
that instance. Uh, but we all have questions, you know, we all have questions every day that
01:11:34.100
we're asking ourselves, um, and that we're asking each other, you know, and sometimes get
01:11:38.880
somebody else's perception and, and, um, and try not to make things too heavy if you can,
01:11:46.480
you know, you might be a little shorter this time and maybe you five, you know, five this
01:11:50.820
time, you know, but maybe next time you six, four, you know, and you're a brother and you
01:11:56.220
dunking on people, you know, in the mean streets of Chicago, you know, so you don't know what
01:12:02.540
you're going to get next time, you know, and this is all part time, you know, but just don't
01:12:06.540
be alone out there. Ask somebody for help. If you need help, if you need assistance, if
01:12:10.680
you need just somebody else to shoulder your burden, man, because once you tell somebody
01:12:14.480
else your problem, instead of sitting on two shoulders, now it's riding on four, baby,
01:12:18.560
a little bit lighter, isn't it? But I appreciate you guys hitting me up, man. I'm gonna fucking
01:12:22.460
try to keep my shit together, dude. Jeepers. You know, I just, I sometimes just get selfish,
01:12:33.720
man. That's what I find. I just want to, you know, I don't want to do things sometimes for
01:12:38.180
other people and I want to just think about myself. That's something that I've been, you
01:12:42.180
know, I just got to, we got to get free of ourselves, man. We got to, we got to. I appreciate
01:12:48.300
you guys. Be well, man. Take care of yourselves. Let's hit this original on the way out. This
01:12:57.220
Celebrate it, man. Celebrate it. Don't take things too seriously, you know. If somebody's
01:13:26.580
dying, finish your fries, you know what I'm saying. Life's serious enough, dude. Go home.
01:13:57.600
That'll help, man. Thank you guys for being here for me today, this week, this past weekend. You
01:14:04.800
guys take care. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll
01:14:14.940
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01:14:20.220
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01:14:27.040
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01:15:14.640
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