Where's your paradise city? Where do you go to find it? What is it like to live in a city called Paradise City? Is it a place of peace and tranquility? Or is it a city of chaos and turmoil?
00:01:40.000But when you look inside of my head, if you could see the picture shows that's going on, cause I'll be thinking about it all.
00:01:51.000But there he is, whatever that beautiful animal is, Tiny Sandhu playing a little bit of Guns N' Roses Paradise City underwater.
00:01:58.000And it had me thinking, where's my paradise city?
00:02:01.000You know, am I always going to live in, you know, in turmoil?
00:02:05.000Am I always going to live, you know, in uncertainty?
00:02:08.000Or am I going to choose the next time that I, you know, step out of my truck or step off of my bed in the morning?
00:02:15.000You know, am I going to choose that, okay, today, wherever my feet are, this is my paradise city, you know?
00:02:24.000Because it can be your promised land if you make it your promised land, you know?
00:02:29.000And sometimes it just starts with a promise to yourself that your perception and the way you look at things is going to be a little bit brighter.
00:02:38.000Because trust me, I drug around a dirty, dirty sack of bad attitudes for at least 15 years.
00:08:03.000And con men, which are really people, it's not con men, it's people that sell reptiles.
00:08:10.000You know, but they're definitely trying to two for one, three for one, you know, throwing in a salamander, you know, throw in a swirly frog, you know, throwing a, you know, one of these little Buster Douglas geckos, you know.
00:08:31.000And I'm like, well, I guess Buster Douglas might've had some difference, you know, his unique skin tints, but that seemed like a wild name.
00:08:37.000But, uh, I got to watch some tarantulas have sex and that, that's alarming, dude.
00:08:46.000That's alarming when you see tarantulas.
00:08:48.000Uh, first, first thing I noticed about a tarantula was they, if you hold onto a tarantula, you can barely feel it in your hand.
00:08:57.000You can barely feel a tarantula and it can be sneaking around on your skin and you don't even know.
00:09:11.000I mean, and dude, they, there's something about them where you, I mean, it felt like this motherfucker knew me and knew that I had cheated on some of my taxes before.
00:09:22.000That's exactly what this thing, the second they kept putting it on me, this, it would go straight up, try to go straight up my arm.
00:09:27.000Like it was going from a heart, you know, like it was trying to, like it was going to go inside of me or something and see what was going on inside of me.
00:09:34.000Very scary, very, very scary, uh, for me, you know, the tarantulas or ranches, you know, or chulas.
00:09:42.000Some people call them chulas, but I think that that might even be racially offensive, uh, to Latinos.
00:09:46.000I don't know if it is, but it felt like it was, uh, when I was saying it, you know, let me get them chulas, you know, and look at these chulas fucking.
00:09:55.000Because we got to watch them have sex.
00:09:58.000I was down there working for the chive.
00:10:00.000I was doing stuff for the chive and the chive is a, is a vegetable.
00:10:03.000Um, you know, that's ditch onions, but it's also a website where you can look at breasts and pictures of cats and animals and fun stuff like that.
00:10:11.000And I was down there doing some work for them and we went to Repticon.
00:10:15.000And dude, the people that work at these conventions, I don't know if anybody ever been involved in a convention.
00:10:21.000But the people that work at conventions, dude, it's wild.
00:10:26.000You know, there, a lot of them are on, they're drinking their own uppers, you know, you know, they're in the back hitting, you know, balming up their insides with that dust, you know, getting funny on that puff puff, you know, they're doing it all.
00:10:40.000You know, a lot of them are back there just re-spackling their innards with that freaking Kool-Aid powder, you know what I'm saying?
00:10:47.000And that's that shit that'll make you, that'll make a jug of, that'll make a jug of sugar water, you know, come crashing through your wall, you know?
00:10:54.000Kool-Aid man, remember that commercial?
00:11:08.000So you'd be in the bathroom and these people out there, you know, they're popping little quail uppers and, you know, quailudes and, you know, buzz saws and freaking whisper bears or whatever they need to get it in their system to stay awake, you know?
00:11:23.000That cocaine, you know, that orange juice powder, whatever they're doing, you know what I'm saying?
00:11:27.740That freaking, they're back there snorting, you know, snorting fucking dried up starburst crust and all kinds of shit like that just to make themselves feel, get that high.
00:11:39.260But then they're out there slinging snakes and reptiles.
00:11:43.140Dude, one guy had this little bin, this little Rubbermaid bin, had about 200 baby tarantulas in it.
00:17:04.460I don't know if it's just – I don't know if there's more full moons in the winter.
00:17:09.020Or if there's more, you know, stray animals.
00:17:12.220A lot of animals that run away from home run away from home in the wintertime.
00:17:15.160And I know that's, you know, everybody pretty much knows that.
00:17:20.980But I think there's something innate in a man, you know, when these animals are out and about and you're still, you know, that makes us growl.
00:17:30.360That makes us want to just puff out our chest and just touch ourselves.
00:17:43.740When I get home and I got zero plans to masturbate, you know, to touch myself or to pleasure myself.
00:17:50.520And then, you know, three minutes and 40 seconds later, I find myself just waddling towards the restroom with my pants at my ankles.
00:18:00.120And I got the Lord's, you know, I got the Lord's, you know, cinnamon drippings on the, you know, on the outside of my hands, you know, from doing dirty works to myself.
00:18:15.480It just makes me, you know, it's just not something that I want to be doing regularly.
00:18:21.080I mean, I'm trying to do, to be honest, I'm trying to not do it for a while.
00:19:00.120I'd be lying to you if I didn't say I was thinking about paying someone to watch me at night for two hours, paying 50 bucks an hour just for, you know, 20 days or something.
00:19:10.200And I know you're like, well, that's a thousand bucks.
00:19:12.600But it also will be 20 days of assurance where daddy, you know, ain't being all naughty with himself, you know, and ain't just, you know, and ain't just making that fire water fly out of himself.
00:24:12.040Unless it's like, you know, somebody who's like thugging or fronting, which no matter what color or ethnicity you are, then those dudes are always kind of like just being hard.
00:24:21.800But otherwise, I guess maybe that's an example of when black guys get nervous.
00:25:08.160So Pat knows some guys down there in South Alabama who were trying to bleach their way out of, off of children's birth certificates, you know, by disenfranchising the test that women take.
00:25:23.420That vaginal, you know, swab factor that lets us know, you know, if the baby, if there's even a baby, I guess, you know.
00:25:38.400And if you guys have an example out there, if you think, that's a good question.
00:25:41.760You know, there's, and there's just some, there's some innate differences between people, you know, in ethnicities and, and in genders, of course.
00:25:48.820But I remember the first time I noticed a real, like, intrinsic, or I don't know if intrinsic's the word, but, you know, a difference one time between me and a black gentleman.
00:25:59.460They had this boy in our town named Boo Boo Tyson, and his brother had set his leg on fire, and they used to call him Ashy because his leg was ashed up.
00:26:09.260And Boo Boo had the nicest smile in town, man.
00:26:12.380We played basketball together for a few years.
00:26:15.280We went to school together for a few years.
00:26:37.360And, and so Boo Boo was constantly carrying, you know, different type of lotion, you know, or things you would put on horses, stuff like that.
00:26:44.620Heavy lotion, intense lotion, you know, stuff you would pack that they packed ball bearings in on a car tire.
00:26:50.780Like really, real ass lubricants, you know.
00:26:55.500I mean, this dude would crack open a Ziploc bag full of, you know, shit that they used on the damn NASA space jet.
00:27:03.540You know, you know, things that could really, I mean, you could slick your hair back for, you know, for probably about half a decade with some of this pomade.
00:27:12.960Some of this heavy, heavy, heavy grip and heavy softener this boy carried.
00:27:17.280And he would polish that up into his leg, you know.
00:27:21.140And this reminds me actually of, you know, my step-grandfather D'Artagnan.
00:27:25.660And I talked about it last week when he would let us, you know, put lotion into his legs.
00:27:30.380But anyhow, Boo Boo Tyson had that magic leg by us.
00:27:36.740And he used to put special, you know, special salves and softeners on his leg to, you know, keep the fire, you know, the afflictions of that fire out of his leg and away from everybody.
00:27:48.340I can't even remember what I was talking about there.
00:28:10.280Oh, well, here's the time that I noticed when Boo Boo Tyson, and Boo Boo Tyson introduced me to one of the most unique moments that I ever had with a young black man.
00:28:22.860The first, one of the first most unique moments I ever had with a young black man was we were riding in the back of the truck.
00:28:29.360You know, our basketball coach, Coach Steve, who, you know, he was a unique man, and he was driving us out somewhere to do some work down.
00:28:42.140You know, we were both in the back of the truck, and he drove us about 60 miles an hour, probably about 15 minutes, and he comes to a stop sign out in the country.
00:28:48.180And we stop, and Boo Boo and I just couldn't even be able to talk because the wind had been going by so fast.
00:28:53.040We're just sitting in the back of an open truck.
00:28:55.420And Boo Boo looks over at me, and he said, man, what's it like to have your hair blow in the wind?
00:29:01.600And that, for me, was one of the first times that I was ever like, wow, you know, Boo Boo, he's never going to probably know what that's like, you know, like not the same way I will.
00:29:16.060And so I just said, you know, I said, well, what's it like to not have your hair blow in the wind?
00:29:19.780And, you know, that was my, you know, my answer, really, and also just a question to kind of, you know, to keep the conversation, or just to make it, I don't know, just a retort that I had.
00:29:32.840But it was interesting because I'd never thought about that before.
00:29:37.600And that was one of the first times that I was like, oh, wow, you know, there's just some people, some people will have different experiences.
00:29:44.180As simple as something to have your hair blow in the wind that Boo Boo Tyson would never know about it.
00:29:49.780And at the time, I couldn't think of any of my black friends that would, you know, or any black kids even in my town that had long hair.
00:29:55.860Because at this time, the only person that I knew that had a Jerry Carroll-type haircut was Raleigh Coleman, who was the vice principal at my school, at my junior high school, and who also used to sleep in the trunk of his car around lunchtime.
00:30:53.660And we don't need anything, you know, nothing racial or jarring like that.
00:30:57.200I'm not looking for anything like that.
00:30:58.540But I am looking for just some unique experiences.
00:31:01.160Or if you had a unique experience that showed you a difference between you and another ethnicity.
00:31:05.660Something that was, like, unique, you know, that really gave you a perspective, you know, that adjusted your perspective or gave you a perspective a little bit.
00:32:12.420You know, it's like, it's almost like for some people getting to meet, you know, it's almost for some people seem like they're getting to see a, I don't know, it's obviously like a celebrity to some people.
00:32:24.400But there's something else more than that.
00:32:25.980It's like they get to see a little bit of a guru or a family member that they haven't met or something.
00:32:47.100It's like they get to meet a little bit of a teacher that they, you know.
00:32:53.100You know, it's like as if somebody dug up Aristotle and was bringing his, you know, and they, you know, attached some muscles and tendons and blood and everything to his bones and got him clicking again.
00:33:03.560And then people showed up and, like, you know, we're meeting him.
00:35:17.500There's a lot of stuff happening with, well, let's take one more listener and then I'm going to get into it.
00:35:23.040People are talking about some of these just men and female issues that's going on and some of the conversations that are going on here in the aftermath of the Louis C.K. issue.
00:35:30.980Let me take one more call here that came in.
00:47:33.980You know, some busted comedians, you know, but I'm not saying what made him right, but it's like people are looking through things to witch hunt, you know?
00:48:50.000So, up here in the Pacific Northwest, man, we've got a lot of, you know, pretty heavy liberal politics, which, you know, a lot of that I can get down with.
00:48:59.180But, man, I've been around a lot of these women, and I used to work in an office of nine women.
00:49:52.360Attractive people are still getting most of the work in Los Angeles, you know.
00:49:56.700Like, you know, they'll be like, oh, well, you know, Hollywood and the, you know, magazine industry, stuff like that.
00:50:01.360You know, like, media, they can be like, well, you know, everybody should look however they want and be, everyone's beautiful and this and that.
00:50:09.020But then they're only taking mostly the prettiest, you know.
00:50:14.300They ain't picking up the ugliest people and giving them work.
00:50:18.62098% of the time, that's not what they're doing.
00:50:25.660It's like, you know, the people that are making that message are the same people that are then coming back and saying, who's making this message?
00:51:37.460And I sometimes wonder if some of these standards are really actually not created by men at all, but created by the expectations that women put on themselves and the way that they communicate with each other.
00:51:52.620I mean, I wish sometimes that I was able to as clearly articulate some of my thoughts and feelings as you just did there.
00:51:57.760Yeah, a lot of times it's, you know, it's not men that are making these demands or demanding anything.
00:52:09.160I mean, if anything, we just want to be able to fucking be alive these days.
00:52:13.140You know, there's certainly this witch hunt, you know, in the mainstream media where men are bad, you know, and especially white men, you know, even though most of us didn't do shit.
00:54:24.880Or do you feel scared to be a man right now?
00:54:26.900Do you feel like a lot of these issues that are created out there and a lot of these, you know, views of women are created more by women than they are actually by men?
00:54:39.700You know, it's like women are just fighting these, you know, are playing both sides of the net.
00:56:12.980I want to bust open my damn fucking brain stem, you know, and lick that rib meat off them thought sickles that are hanging out from the inside of my cranium.
00:56:21.640But I don't, you know, when I have a, you know, so when I'm stressed or whatever, I just have to deal with it.
00:56:50.900And if I have a problem, instead of dealing with it or thinking through it or feeling through it, my brain will be like, oh, yeah, whatever, have a beer, you know, have a, go do this, go do that, go to bed, take a nap, jerk off, look at porn, watch sport, do something, you know.
00:57:07.400Don't solve whatever this little thing is.
00:57:33.000And I think it'll be legal everywhere in a couple of years, you know.
00:57:36.220So if you want it, you're going to have it.
00:57:37.600But I think that this is a time when a lot of men, when it's, this is a critical time, I believe, that when it comes to, you know, instead of grabbing a beer or grabbing a joint or a whip or coat, you know, hitting one of them sheep tails, you know.
00:57:58.400But putting that fluff or nutter up your fucking face hole, I think it's time to sit and think, sit and feel, sit there.
00:58:45.260You know, but for me, I'll find too many excuses if I use, if I use other stuff right now, I'll find too many excuses.
00:58:51.400And right now, I need to make less excuses for myself, and I need to at least work towards having a little bit more knowledge about what's going on inside of my thoughts and feelings and why I behave the way that I do.
00:59:03.020So that I can be on top of my behaviors and be a step ahead of them at times.
00:59:07.860Because a lot of times, my behaviors are reactionary.
01:01:18.480So I just knew that whatever I was wasn't okay because women didn't like me.
01:01:23.900And the main reason that I felt that way was because probably in hindsight I felt like somewhere inside of me I felt like my mother didn't really like me probably.
01:01:34.440And I know that's a big jump for some people listening to this, but that's, you know, as I learned more about myself, I realized that I never, you know, that if I thought my mother didn't like me, you know, and I didn't feel that relationship with her, then I didn't really know how to relate to women.
01:01:47.880Because that's your first relationship for a young man.
01:01:50.720And if my relationship with her was kind of damaged, then, you know, my relationship with all women was probably going to be at least, you know, off to a rocky start because I didn't know even how to begin one.
01:02:02.260So once women weren't recognizing me well or it wasn't working, then, yeah, of course you adjusted yourself.
01:05:04.880So, I got like some dysfunction going on with me.
01:05:09.440And the crazy thing is, is that like in order to heal myself and to get better, the dude is to get out there and meet somebody and get into a relationship and start getting out there.
01:05:21.240But it's hard because, like I said, I don't have that drive.
01:05:42.100A lot of guys have a lot of similar feelings and a lot of similar issues, man.
01:05:45.660Let's hear the end of your call because I just feel bad about cutting you off.
01:05:48.760And plus, I'm like really, you know, I have low self-confidence just from, you know, I still kind of see myself as like that homeless dude jerking off in the shed.
01:06:01.500Yes, you have a low, your view of yourself probably isn't always good, it sounds like.
01:06:11.580So, you know, and I hope that by hearing this back and listening to some of this, you're able to kind of get a little bit, you know, maybe it might be just a little more perspective on yourself.
01:06:23.620Here, I got to plug this thing in really quick.
01:06:53.600The only thing I know is that I can, when you tell me your story right there, Chris, that I have heard your story or parts of it inside of myself, you know, and I've lived through some of your story before.
01:07:07.100Maybe not exactly, but I have not heard, had anyone call where I could relate as much to someone call.
01:07:16.140And the thing that helped me, I'll be honest with you, was getting into a program, dude.
01:08:10.440And, you know, and I can't tell you what, you know, I can't, you know, you can't tell somebody to go get in a program.
01:08:17.860But you can just, I can tell you that for me, it's changed my life, you know.
01:08:22.620And sometimes that's hard for me to even admit because sometimes I'm so, like, self-centered or so, you know, afraid to admit that anything other than me has changed my life because I'm so used to doing everything for myself.
01:08:38.680You know, but when I'm really honest, yeah, man, that program has changed my life.
01:08:44.520I have a constant base of men and other people that I can go to every day to learn how to live in any moment.
01:08:56.340If I don't know something to do, there's somebody I can call.
01:08:58.940There's 40 people I can call and say, hey, what do I do right now?
01:09:01.940And they're like, this is what you do.
01:09:03.760And these are people that I trust and know and love.