Spencer Jacob Grau talks about growing up in a small town and how he became the town s first big league player. Also, he talks about how he ended up in foster care at the age of 7.
00:08:27.880They have this podcast network called All Things Comedy.
00:08:31.540And they've been very gracious over time to allow us, me to have my other podcast called Allegedly on there with my friend Matthew Cole Weiss.
00:08:43.040And on that same network, there's a new show where comedians sit and play poker together.
00:08:47.900So, you know, I get an email, come play.
00:11:08.340So that was a great moment for me just to be able to be, you know, in those guys' presence with an activity that we all are doing together.
00:13:36.640You know, some people may have a little more than others here and there, but, you know, in the end, that everybody, it seems like everybody kind of has each other's back.
00:13:45.600And now, look, I've spent, I've been to maybe five cities in Canada.
00:13:49.180Bro, Canada, you could lay down in the street, middle of the street, in a city, in a city, in a downtown, fall asleep.
00:13:59.480And when you woke up in the morning, someone would have put a blanket on you.
00:14:03.900And cars that were driving down the street would have probably shut, would have probably shut their engines off when they got close to you, gotten out of the car, and pushed their car past you as to not wake you up.
00:14:18.840Like, that's the kind of, people are just way considerate of others.
00:14:23.000And it's not like they're trying to be, it's just, it's in their nature.
00:14:26.640It kind of reminds me, if I had to guess what America was like, maybe, you know, 50 years ago.
00:14:34.520And maybe not for everybody, you know, I mean, but, you know, it'd probably be, I mean, Canada's very white.
00:14:40.220So it'd probably be what, you know, what America was like for most people.
00:14:43.380I mean, I know there was a lot of racial tension and struggle.
00:14:45.800But for regular white people, I bet it was similar to probably something that Canada is.
00:19:36.360Things would be great or, or bad or, you know, I was never able to find a comfort.
00:19:43.160You know, and that's just what I started sharing with these guys.
00:19:45.580And then I come into these rooms now, you know, and I go to these meetings and suddenly I'm in a group of people and we're all have something in common.
00:19:56.800And that commonality is, it's a problem.
00:20:01.580We all have some type of a problem, an addiction or a discomfort or an uneasiness or a loneliness.
00:20:08.600That's why we all come to these meetings.
00:20:11.200And when I sit in there, there's just something special that makes me feel when I'm part of a group.
00:21:19.860I didn't mean to get all wild or weird on you there.
00:21:22.300Just trying to share some of what it's like when, you know, being in this AA program.
00:21:25.980I've been in here for about 16 months now.
00:21:27.720I don't know if I'll always be in this program.
00:21:30.240You know, I don't know if I'll always be a part of it.
00:21:32.360But for now I am and, and I'm grateful because I get to have moments where I go into rooms and I don't feel alone.
00:21:42.100And the people that I'm there to share my story with, they don't feel alone.
00:21:45.520And it's crazy that by sharing our problems, you know, or coming together because we have an issue, that is how we don't feel alone anymore.
00:21:57.800You know, because forever you're out here trying to solve your problem all these different ways when all you really needed was to fill up that void that makes you feel like you have a problem in the first place.
00:22:09.520So I don't even know if that makes any sense, but something just propelled it right out of my body.
00:22:15.520I'll tell you what does make a little bit of sense to me is that television shows have gotten horrible.
00:22:22.820A lot of times your own dog will leave the room if you have a dog or if you have mice in the walls, you can sometimes hear them scurry off when you put on a certain program.
00:22:32.740It's because TV and film aren't about entertainment anymore.
00:22:59.320It's changing the entertainment industry by creating a new platform called Adept.
00:23:03.960The public will be able to fund what they want to watch, own what they help produce, decide who's in it, what goes on through the process of content creation, funding, and distribution.
00:23:16.100It's basically like suddenly entertainment is going to become almost like, I don't want to say fantasy football because this is a reality.
00:23:23.780But you're going to be able to invest and then have a say-so in who is in something and if the project does well, have a return on your investment.
00:36:26.520The only problem was that there was 30 mile per hour winds going that day and the embers hit nearby buildings, burning down three and damaging 20 others.
00:36:33.820Still waiting on the update of how the sword turned out.
00:36:37.740Well, that's what you get from making swords.
00:40:12.840I say that's a good way to go to heaven if you're going to die.
00:40:16.980I've always been ashamed that the only ways that we have to get to heaven are, are after if you go, if you, you know, or to deal with the body are embalming or burning, I think is the second one.
00:40:53.020Embalm this little bobcat with that R-A-N-C-H, boo-boo.
00:40:58.740You're telling me that formaldehyde and that being, what's it called, when you're burnt to a crisp, you know, whatever it is, decapitated or something, are the only things that can happen to you after you die?
00:41:23.040Take my eyeballs out, leave my mouth open, put me in the funeral casket, all my orifices open, bunch of little things, chips, ooh, broccoli, get them, pop, pop, get them into my faces, you know, hit them orifices, hit that mouth, eye, eye, get that triple dip.
00:41:52.260How about you put a huge slab of that freaking thick, thin ham around daddy's neck?
00:42:00.120Damn, boy, have all the dogs barking outside of that funeral house.
00:42:03.020Boy, you'll have birds at the windows ready to get in there and just take a little bit of a nip-nip off daddy's freaking head vase, off that neck, off that ham.
00:42:16.100But there's way other things you could do.
00:42:36.040And I tell that, you know, I'm not saying that to make fun of anybody, but if you wouldn't need a human rib that had been perfected, cooked,
00:42:43.320maybe over there at Arthur's Barbecue or whatever in Kansas City or in Wichita, wherever that place is,
00:47:50.780That was a call that came in last week.
00:47:51.940That was what the follow-up was about.
00:47:53.100They had a gentleman named Adam who was talking about doing that cuck holding where you have other people come in and play your video game system.
00:49:59.360So this is an experiment where a man were, where they did sperm collection and they sent the men home with pornography, different types of pornography when they were, when they were running this experiment.
00:51:22.460So, and they used to have, I remember being in elementary school and this man, Mr. Larry, it wasn't elementary, it was middle school.
00:51:30.380And they, but back when I went to middle school, if you were in there for long enough, and I've spoken about this gentleman before, but if you were in middle school for long enough, then they eventually you just, they couldn't have you take the classes anymore because you couldn't get it.
00:51:54.680But he was still friends with a lot of the kids because we all knew each other, you know, we'd been in class with him for a couple years.
00:52:01.640So, but Mr. Larry would come in and urinate in the bathroom and piss over our shoulders, you know, because he had that hit on him, you know.
00:52:11.680He had that club, you know, he had that neighborhood sword that's burning down buildings, you feel me?
00:52:17.320He had that sword, you know, he had, you know, he was, he had that backyard sword.
00:52:24.140And so he would come in and we'd be standing there urinating and you'd see that stream just come over you, you know, come over your shoulder.
00:53:06.820And that's kind of the same thing, I think, with what this caller is saying that, you know, if there's some competition, that there's competition in the works.
00:53:14.700And that you get that better sperm count, your body just knows intrinsically, oh, okay, you know, there's other, you know, there's other oysters here trying to pearl out.
00:53:28.120You know, so I'm going to have to put a little more sand up under my lip, you know.
00:53:32.660You know, they just, you're nuts know that it's trying to, it's time to, it's time to full moon.
00:53:39.340You know, you can't be showing up with no crescent.
00:53:42.620You know, on Halloween, you can't be showing up with no crescent.
00:53:46.040You know, and on Halloween, you got to show up with that full moon.
00:53:50.480And you got to fire off decent sperm count.
01:00:58.980This isn't always a choice that I'm making.
01:01:01.380It's like something, it's like something that I can't control.
01:01:05.760And when you can't control it, when you're trying to, when you don't want to be doing something and you are still doing it, for me, that's when I noticed that it's, it's something that's out of my control.
01:01:30.700S-L-A-A, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous.
01:01:33.140You can just go to AA meetings because in the end, it's not even about, you know, your alcohol, your drug could be the need to, to get attention, intimate and just even verbal from other women.
01:02:14.320You know, you lay in soil, you lay in cotton, you lay in Milo, you got that corn, you got them beets, you're putting it all in the ground.
01:02:22.740But if you have a family, like you're saying, then you're, something's heavier.
01:02:25.400And for me, it's just that, it goes back to, for me, that type of behavior goes back to, I believe anyway, some emptiness that I felt just that women rejected me or didn't want me.
01:02:43.520And it could go back to when I was very young, something that happened that I don't even remember.
01:02:47.160You know, it could go back to just something that could have been happening, you know, in junior high when I was really young, elementary school and junior high, you know, I was not attractive, attractive to women.
01:03:00.080And, you know, my friends always got the girls or had interest from the girls.
01:03:05.600I was always the dude, like carrying the love letter from the girl, like to my buddy, you know.
01:03:11.600And, you know, sometimes that stuff just does something to our insides where we can't fix it by ourself.
01:03:22.120And if you can't beat it yourself, then that's when maybe it's not a bad idea to see if there's other ways to try and fix it.
01:03:31.000You know, because in the end, though, you're going to have to make some decisions and just say, I can't do this type of behavior, you know.
01:03:36.680That doesn't mean you can't still flirt.
01:03:38.760You know, it doesn't mean you can't still be a man in ways.
01:03:41.480But when it comes to that line where you're feeling demoralized after because you're hooking up or you're doing this or that, that's the line where you have to try and shut it down.
01:03:51.000You know, and look, I've done some wild behaviors, man.
01:03:53.840You know, I've definitely done some things that I'm not proud of.
01:03:57.960I'll actually put a call on next week.
01:03:59.540We had a caller that called in, taking me to task on a behavior of mine, and I'll put that up next week.
01:04:06.440I'm looking forward to just sharing that, a little bit of that with you guys and trying to walk through that a little bit.
01:04:11.920I meant to do it this week, but we're getting late in the episode.
01:04:32.740So, you know, I don't want to tell you what to do, but, you know, if I have a problem and it doesn't go away, then I have to do something to help it remedy.
01:04:45.640For me, what I do is I go to a therapist on Monday, and I go to meetings, and those things help me.
01:04:58.040I was just listening to your most recent podcast.
01:05:00.940You were talking about that dude who, you know, is pornography cheating, and he wanted to get, you know, some other guy to come drill his wife and all that.
01:05:08.280You know, as far as pornography being cheating and all, I don't really think so.
01:05:12.580But as far as pornography as like a dark art, I really think there's something there, especially with how easy it is to watch.
01:05:20.780Now, I'm really talking about like with young kids, like with young men.
01:06:25.100And he had these artists, he'd draw these Rubenesque women laying in the bushes.
01:06:30.960This is in like the 18th, 16th, 1700s or something.
01:06:33.980And dude, I would crack those books open, and I would catch that bone.
01:06:37.780You know, I'd catch that bone down between me, and I would put that bone between the books on the pictures of these ladies, you know, these voluptuous ladies.
01:06:49.060And I would just kind of close the book against my boner until I, you know, until my boner just gave up the ghost, you know, just threw that liquid Casper up into the air.
01:07:01.040And that's when I was out, you know, and I must have, I mean, I was tormenting, I was tormenting the 16 and 1700 art encyclopedias in the library there.
01:07:15.760But I was just young, and that's the first look I got at that crotch, you know, and then we had later, you had to pay this boy in junior high school to dress.
01:07:23.300He is the only one that could draw you some cooter.
01:07:58.200Maybe it's just like in Europe where it's like, you know, just because you can drink doesn't mean you do, you know, doesn't mean there's a million car accidents.
01:11:04.400And four is, I think some of us, you know, we just want to live.
01:11:08.160We have this thing like we want to live forever.
01:11:09.640And if we do things that make us grow up or that seem like that grownups do or that, you know, getting married, starting to have a family, those types of things.