On this episode of the podcast, we have a special guest, Jameson Flood. Jameson is a singer, songwriter, comedian, and songwriter from New York City. We talk about his new album "Every Night" which is out now!
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00:05:34.900You know, my mother had them A-cups, them baby A's.
00:05:38.080And so I didn't see a lot of tit around the house.
00:05:40.180Even if, you know, even if sometimes, you know, sometimes when you're growing up, if you're a child and your mother have nice breasts, you get that free visual.
00:11:12.780You know, you could wear some really large pants or something.
00:11:17.740You know, you could, you know, I remember sometimes I would take, you know, my grandmother, whenever she died, they gave us some of her stuff.
00:16:43.960See, I'm kind of, I'm still a little bit nervous in this scenario.
00:16:47.320But I don't want to tell you because I don't want to get people's hopes up.
00:16:50.800But also, sometimes I want to put it out into the air because, you know, I want my guests to want to come on, I guess.
00:16:57.380You know, I get nervous about having guests because I get nervous sometimes to ask people to do stuff for me or to do stuff with me.
00:17:05.880You know, I have, I don't know, all my life I've felt like that.
00:17:09.780You know, if I ask somebody to do something or ask somebody to do something even that's awesome.
00:17:14.900You know, even ask somebody to come spend some time that they're going to, you know, I guess maybe that they're going to say no because they think that something's wrong.
00:17:25.820That I guess the fear is that I'm not good enough.
00:17:29.260You know, that they're going to be like, oh, no, you know, you know, your, you know, your little podcast or spending time with you isn't.
00:19:55.520And we walked off into Kyoto, out into the hills and stuff like that.
00:20:00.800You know, and that's fucking, I mean, that's, you could buy some exotic swords out there.
00:20:05.520When you get far enough out into those Japanese hillsides, it's like damn Zelda.
00:20:09.320You know, you could reach into a bush and pull out a fucking, you know, an electric vase and change it and trade it in, you know, nine minutes later under a bridge for a couple exotic swords.
00:20:20.360And we were out there in the countryside, what little countryside there is in Japan, and they had a hot spring.
00:20:28.900And so me and my buddy, rest in peace, one of my good friends, we went in there, dude.
00:22:54.760So we go in this place and every, all the, you know, they got a lot of Japanese gentlemen in there and everybody's naked.
00:23:01.300And my buddy, he was kind of a, he was kind of a showman.
00:23:05.220You know, he was kind of a showman and he did yoga and he did, he could do it well.
00:23:10.520So next thing you know, my buddy's in this hot spring and everybody's getting in these pools and taking these dips.
00:23:16.680And one of them's like this clay water and stuff.
00:23:19.140And my buddy in front of like about nine dudes, like gets into, onto his hands, gets like straight upright.
00:23:26.360Like so his legs straight up in the air and then just completely does his legs out to the side and just show that fricking, you know, show that, you know, that little gopher can and show that B hole to about nine Japanese guys.
00:23:43.160And it was, I'd never seen anything like it.
00:23:46.380I mean, first of all, I'd never, you know, I'd never seen really another man's, but I'd seen one other man's butthole, you know, and I'll tell you about that in a second.
00:23:58.000But I'd never seen, I'd never seen a group of guys see another person's butthole all at the same time.
00:24:05.540And so that was kind of the, that was like kind of the riveting part because it's one thing to see somebody see a butthole, you know, you can see that on the internet now.
00:24:14.940But this was seeing a whole flock of men in a language that I didn't speak, you know, and, and, and a lot of time when you see someone who speaks a different language or from a different culture, there's, everything is a little different.
00:24:29.500You know, some of their mannerisms and the way that they, you know, behave in the way, in the face of fear, in the face of excitement, their, their instinctual reactions to things, they're, they're, they're running off of a different DOS system, off of a different template, you know, than, than you, than we are sometimes in other cultures.
00:24:49.300But when I saw these nine Japanese gentlemen, you know, catch a, you know, catch a hit off my buddies, uh, off that, you know, off that dirty baby wink, man, it was, it was pretty exotic, man, I'll say that, you know, about six of them bowed, kind of did a quick bow forward.
00:25:10.660One dude looked like he, you know, almost like it was a sign, like he'd been waiting for a sign from the heavens or something, and this was it, and it wasn't good.
00:25:21.460And then they had, I think one dude was blind, so he didn't even see it, you know, blind, if you're blind, you don't know if somebody's showing a butthole or if it's just, you know, people are just, you know, doing small talk, you don't know what's going on, really.
00:25:34.580And, uh, and I don't remember the other, the other, the other guy, I don't, he might have, I don't remember, but those are the reactions that I remember.
00:25:43.020You know, the last, I don't think he liked it, I think he might have scored it a two.
00:25:47.260But that was, that was, uh, that was a time that I went to a hot spring, you know, that was my experience with a hot spring there in Japan.
00:25:53.620You know, I did get tickled by a, by a thick boy one time on a cruise ship in a hot tub, and he was, I don't want to say he was on uppers or drugs, but it was, because it was early in the morning.
00:26:04.580And he was only about 12, but if I ever had to go to court over that, I would, I could not imagine that this boy wasn't on some ecstasy or something, on some, you know, children's ecstasy.
00:26:16.760But, but look, man, if you're taking $24 baths, daddy, we don't know each other.
00:26:21.960Okay, because that's, where are you bathing?
00:26:25.080You know, that's $3 just to even get in the, that's, that's not like a $3 entry fee to a tub.
00:26:32.360You know, you see, you, you're running on them, you're running on them high class, uh, you know, you're dipping in those high class of waters.
00:26:58.140I don't even remember where this was, man.
00:26:59.600I think this was in actually in South Africa and I got booked on this wild show at this casino and Mark Curry was the headliner hanging with Mr. Cooper.
00:27:28.080If I even doze off for an hour, that's 70 bucks, you know?
00:27:34.780So I can imagine if you're spending $24 in a bath, you better get your money's worth.
00:27:40.400You, I mean, I don't, and I don't know how you do that in a group bath.
00:27:42.740How do you get your money's worth out of a group bath?
00:27:44.420That's what, you know, but the other time, oh yeah, I forgot the other time.
00:27:48.360I'd seen some gentleman's, uh, you know, some gentleman's, you know, dirty little secret power pothole was, uh, was they had this man in our neighborhood and when he was young, you know, he would, uh, you know, I guess we were younger than him, but he, you know, from far away, man, this dude was kind of wild, I guess, Mr. Garrett.
00:28:11.660But, but what he would do was, and he might've been, you know, honestly, he might, and I shouldn't say this cause I didn't know it at the time.
00:28:19.980He might've been, he might've had some mental disabilities.
00:28:22.820I don't know that for sure, but he's still over this family and he was getting older and he wore a book bag all the time, you know, and he had kind of a, you know, he, you know, he, somebody in his family cut his hair, you know, there was some more, there were some warning signs, but he would, uh,
00:28:41.340he would give you a couple of dollars, two or three dollars, and then he'd walk off about 40 feet and show you his asshole.
00:28:48.160And the only thing was, you know, to make sure you got to keep that money, you had to stay there and look.
00:28:54.040And it wasn't, you know, everybody these days, like everything's pervy and everything's, you know, in New York and LA, all these people writing all these articles and all, they're like, this is perverted and this is this and this is that.
00:29:05.960And man, shit wasn't perverted back in the day.
00:29:09.680You know, I was, I was at the comedy store last night and Joey Coco Diaz was saying that Christmas didn't start until somebody had their dick out.
00:29:17.840And I'm not saying that I a hundred percent agree with that.
00:29:20.600And I know he's joking, obviously, but people got to quit, quit tripping.
00:29:25.400You know, it's just a bunch of people that are making money off of making all everything a big deal.
00:29:32.140That's what I hate about some of these environments because 90% of people don't give a fuck.
00:29:41.640You know, you know, if you got, if, you know, there's a big difference between somebody getting molested and somebody, you see somebody pull their dick out.
00:30:18.740That's why I don't be shocked when you get, you know, when people come, when you get a politician that comes in and just says whatever he wants, everybody's like, fuck yeah.
00:30:27.740I'll listen to anybody who can say whatever they want.
00:30:49.140You know, I'm watching these kids this weekend.
00:30:50.840They had the parkland and, you know, talking about that tragedy.
00:30:54.120And, man, there's a great documentary that's out there.
00:30:57.040And I say great, but it's, you know, it's about the Newtown, you know, the Newtown tragedy that happened in, I think, Newtown, Connecticut, I believe.
00:31:08.640Um, and, and I'm, forgive me if I'm saying it wrong.
00:31:12.640I haven't seen it in a while, but it's really, it's, uh, you know, it makes you feel, man.
00:31:18.480If you want those feels, you can go watch that.
00:31:20.740But I'm watching these children this weekend and hearing some of them talk, and it's exciting.
00:31:24.460It's, you know, it's exciting to see kids be empowered.
00:31:26.740It also, some of it's like, like, why, where was, why aren't, like, how, why are, you know, I, I agree.
00:31:40.660There's some weapons they shouldn't have out there.
00:31:55.580Also, though, like, why, you know, where were these kids speaking up when one of their, when they, when there's a, when there's a kid at school who's weird or who's uncomfortable?
00:32:06.420You know, when do, and I know that this, you know, the people that reported this, you know, the kid, the Parkland kid who, who, who, you know, committed this strategy, they reported him.
00:32:17.840You know, people reported this kid to the FBI.
00:32:20.140I mean, the FBI was chasing, you know, hunting down, you know, mythical servers around the universe that I don't know whatever happened with that scenario.
00:32:31.300But obviously they had their, you know, they, or whatever they were doing, who knows?
00:32:36.420But they didn't, you know, it seemed like every protocol was taken.
00:32:40.780The only protocol that, that we can't really fix, you know, they can change the age of guns, sure.
00:32:47.800That you can't buy them at 18, I think that that's okay.
00:33:18.420You walk back in, you're like, um, you only gave me like a, uh, a mile and a half worth of gas?
00:33:25.320And the attendant's like, yep, that's because the community college is, and there you go.
00:33:30.440I don't think, if you're severely ignorant, you shouldn't be able to just ride around the universe, you know, spreading ignorance everywhere.
00:33:38.100But I wonder where, you know, where are all these kids speaking up when it's, you know, when people are, when you see that you got that strange bird in your class?
00:33:51.020I mean, I think a lot of it, I mean, I've said it before, you know, I'm not trying to get too serious, but sometimes we got to talk about things that are topical.
00:33:58.440You know, we got to talk about that stuff, you know, and I'm okay to be wrong.
00:34:15.000I would probably joke around with everybody about the same, you know, and I think everybody kind of got joked around with here and there.
00:34:22.020But if I saw somebody that I thought was really getting, you know, being rude to, I would always step in and try to say something, try to help, you know, but some of that stuff's just going to occur.
00:34:32.720But, you know, some, I'm just like, well, what, I don't know.
00:34:37.960I just don't, sometimes it just seems like it's all this weird show that's going on.
00:34:42.560Like, I'm happy these kids are motivated and, and I'm happy that, yeah, they shouldn't have to be in such fear.
00:34:50.920Because, dude, when you think about that, think about that.
00:35:14.020And then the kids who seem like they are, you know, uncomfortable at school or the kid who was, you know, kind of the odd duck back in the day.
00:35:21.380Now every kid at school was probably like, this dude's going to shoot up the fucking school.
00:38:09.560You could just open the door and get in there.
00:38:11.320And they just in there just, you know, kind of trying to be real calm and look like a, you know, just look like a whatchamacallit or something.
00:38:20.840Like the candy, you know, just trying to stay out of the way.
00:39:26.480I mean, I don't like them under the influence of, you know, quaaludes or anything like that.
00:39:30.640You know, I don't want a girl that you have to, you know, when you get home, you got to take her out of the trunk and bring her in the house.
00:39:34.980So, I like a girl, you know, I don't mind a pigtail.
00:39:58.560So, they running around each looking like, you know, half a Wendy's logo because each one of them had that just one, you know, that one stray, that one braid riding out.
00:40:11.420You know, like a, just like a, like a diving board that was, you know, taking the afternoon off, just kind of hanging off that side, you know, ganging out.
00:40:20.240So, I don't mind a little bit of braids.
00:41:23.900You know, I dated a girl with a real small head one time.
00:41:26.600I wouldn't mind more of like a regular headed woman.
00:41:28.560I dated a girl who had this little pin top.
00:41:32.420You know, and sometime when I was making out with her, I could kiss her and my hands would touch under her chin and on the top of her head at the same time.
00:41:44.620And, but I remember just like, dang, she got that little, she got that cabbage ball.
00:41:50.300You know, and I started thinking how many ideas could she even have in this, in this thing, in this hitter, you know, on top of her neck.
00:41:58.560You know, I was always scared somebody with a t-ball bat was just going to roll up and just, you know, try to knock a double.
00:42:06.300Because she had that little, that little baby, you know, you know, that little, that little, you know, that little, you know, mediocre sphere.
00:42:17.040I mean, I think she was probably the, she might have been the prettiest girl in New Orleans, but she, and, and, you know, but who knows, man.
00:42:24.420Do I like, you know, I like a woman that's a hard worker.
00:42:29.660And I want a woman that can be a mother.
00:42:33.340You know, I don't want one of these whiny ass ladies talking about, you know, preaching all the time about, you know, motherhood and this and that when they don't even have any children.
00:42:42.380I want a woman who doesn't mind having some children, you know, and who doesn't mind having some children with me.
00:43:01.720What kind of ladies I like if I'm just thinking about being Randy, you know, I like, you know, I like.
00:43:09.140I mean, I remember when I was young, I dated, you know, I like that kind of Native American looking type kind of girl.
00:43:18.320Like if you saw her, you know, if you walk by and she was wearing a little bit of, you know, you know, if you peeped in time, if you were peeking in her windows and she didn't know you were there.
00:43:27.720She might have had on those, you know, that buffalo skin brassiere, you know, or she might have had a couple of duck uteruses kind of woven in with some vine and holding up her breasts.
00:43:39.660You know, just some lady that's really of the earth.
00:43:42.520You know, that Native American kind of kind of girl, if you're peeking in her window at night, you wouldn't be surprised if her dad freaking dropped that arrow right by ear, you know, parted your hair just.
00:43:54.940And, you know, not to look at his daughter, get, you know, changed clothes and stuff at night, even though you guys are in love with each other.
00:44:00.720So I think I had that kind of Pocahontas sort of thing that I kind of always maybe envisioned.
00:44:06.780You know, and my mother, you know, they say that you're attracted to some characteristics that your mother has.
00:44:12.520And my mother was kind of was sort of kind of tall, dark and handsome, I guess, in a way, but in a female way.
00:44:37.540And I get better at managing my sensitivity, but I still I need somebody who's got that.
00:44:41.100So, you know, who's able to, you know, who's able to deal with that.
00:44:45.040So but also, you know, I think it changes over time.
00:44:48.440You know, you know, when you some things I start to see one good thing about being, you know, single as you get older and being able to kind of see how relationships shake out and stuff is that you notice like, oh, I'm glad I didn't go with that one.
00:45:03.040Or I'm glad I didn't go with that one or I'm, you know, or I'm not that I didn't go.
00:45:07.940But I'm glad that when that situation didn't work out or that situation didn't work out because of this or because of that, you know, you start to see like, oh, I see how that how that person goes that way or how that type of person goes that way.
00:45:21.640You just get more view. So that's one thing that is kind of rewarding about being single as I get older is being able to get a larger, a larger view of what's going on.
00:45:33.600But, you know, you know, I've been fortunate enough to date to date some neat gals.
00:45:41.800You know, I hope I haven't in my life.
00:45:45.760I don't know if I've ever mistreated any women or done anything like that.
00:45:50.460You know, I think I've been afraid of commitment and those sorts of things.
00:45:53.920And so that probably hadn't been very helpful to some women.
00:45:57.600But but those are some things that I like, you know, and for me, if a woman's funny,
00:46:03.440that's beautiful to me, if a woman is if a woman likes to play board games sometimes in the evening or in the afternoon, then I like that.
00:46:15.120You know, I like a girl that doesn't mind, you know, maybe doing like a silly dance or something or doesn't mind like, you know, looking silly sometimes because those things inspire me.
00:46:30.000You know, I'm always so afraid to like, you know, it's kind of weird.
00:46:37.080Like, I'm not afraid to tell jokes and say things that are silly, but I'm afraid physically sometimes to look silly.
00:46:43.820And so if there's a girl that kind of is comfortable with those sorts of things, then that makes me feel I, you know, I admire that because I wish I could be that way.
00:46:55.220Um, and then somebody that's understanding, I mean, fuck, I think I'm just describing things we all want.
00:47:02.240But that's some of my ideas, Andrea, and you sound like a beautiful young lady.
00:47:05.600And if I don't have somebody or if you don't have somebody, then at the very least, you know, we can still treat ourselves with romance.
00:47:11.560So once you get out there and put some damn, you know, put some of that Zat Ziki on your thighs, you know, and treat yourself right, you know, light a candle and pour some wax on your neck or something, you know, or dip your shoulders in chocolate and lick it off.
00:47:27.200Do that side to side, you know, that freaking nervous that be that with that nervous tongue, just hunting your freaking clavicle, hunting along your clavicle with that nervous tongue.
00:47:37.660Just back and forth, back and forth, just getting your own chocolate hits.
00:49:37.400And they've got a brother named Tom who's taller than them and may or may not have the same parents.
00:49:42.300But anyhow, yes, I do know the Impractical Jokers, some of them, very special guys.
00:49:47.760And you had an animal that worked with them?
00:49:49.240Any animals that you've seen on that show, we have provided all of them.
00:49:53.080Some of my favorite moments and some of the ones that I can be seen in are the episode where Sal is delivering the cow and also where we put the tarantulas on cue.
00:50:50.860But I'm grateful to know them, and that makes me cool that you work with some beautiful show animals that are obviously humorous, if your animals are providing humor.
00:50:59.480Because I'm sure some people are only doing, you know, working with crows or working with ravens or vultures, you know, or coyotes or animals that are doing more violence.
00:52:45.200And he would put it in those ice trays and stuff or just do a big block.
00:52:48.800He'd put it in those ice trays and put the toothpicks in it.
00:52:51.960And after we'd freeze it, we'd go over there and eat it and talk about the area.
00:52:56.300You know, and just fantasize and just be imaginative about, oh, I wonder what it was like, you know.
00:53:01.920You know, this water tastes like maybe they had skiers going through it.
00:53:05.600Or, you know, maybe they had like people having a picnic by the banks or whatever.
00:53:10.520You know, we would just use our imaginations and think about the ice.
00:53:13.860And to try and taste different realities that could have been nearby the water before it had come to us when it was in its natural habitat.
00:53:24.920And so anyhow, you know, sometimes he would get a big – you know, he'd just freeze it in a big chunk.
00:53:31.700You know, we'd just chip off pieces of ice and just, you know, have a little bit of lake meat or, you know, some – I don't know if he ever got anything foreign, you know.
00:53:40.980But he got some – you know, I don't think he ever got any like Lake Titicaca or anything like that.
00:53:46.180But, you know, he'd have the normal Lake Pontchartrain or something from, you know, Lake Bourne, different stuff.
00:53:54.280But maybe from like Ontario, something like that one time.
00:54:00.000Well, Icy Mike, he took some acid one time because a lot of bad LSD would come through the south.
00:54:05.980And the kind of shit where, you know, the next week suddenly everybody's, you know – you know, everybody just kind of like their – you know, people were wearing vests, I remember.
00:54:17.440Or one time everybody bought a bunch of cowboy boots after some acid came through.
00:54:22.560So you were like, ooh, you know, that kind of left people a little bit – feeling a little bit country or different things.
00:54:28.600You know, you'd have people – you know, some acid would come through and next thing you know, everybody would be doing artwork in their yard or something.
00:54:36.220Just, you know, shit where, you know, the acid was kind of affecting everybody as a group.
00:54:41.200Well, Icy Mike got a couple bad hits, a couple of bad squares of that fucking paper magic.
00:54:45.800And he had this – he quit doing the ice.
00:54:50.960And he put all his money into livestock because his daddy had left him about $800 when he died.
00:54:55.880So he put all his money into livestock and he bought a bunch of cattle or large animals.
00:55:00.640One of them I think was a fat horse that had a bad – you know, it had been – somebody had kind of scalped it.
00:55:48.120But right now you're still listening to the story and you're also thinking, man, I wonder how this went.
00:55:55.360So therefore you would watch that because your brain's still hanging around, isn't it?
00:56:01.600So, you know, it's coming time where everybody's expecting, you know, 845 or whatever.
00:56:06.000All these animals are going to bust out their asses and everything at the same time.
00:56:09.580You know, kind of not really a fireworks, but, you know, something exciting, almost a little bit biblical.
00:56:16.720But then next thing you know, one of the animals got scared, you know, because I think a car alarm went off or something.
00:56:21.660Somebody had a Sunfire, one of those Sunfire cars.
00:56:25.960And basically if you ever owned a Sunfire, I think it was like a Pontiac Sunbird or Sunfire, the only thing the car did was the battery would die and the alarm would go off.
00:56:35.240I don't even think you could drive them.
00:56:38.280The battery died and then the alarm would go off, which was ironic because you needed the battery to run the alarm.
00:56:44.600But those Sunfires, man, that's all, one of those went off.
00:56:47.540Anyhow, one of these animals, and I don't know what it was, it could have been a, you know, something with a deformity.
00:56:52.900It could have been a fucking, it could have been a giraffe with, you know, with Down syndrome.
00:56:58.120I don't know what, you know, what was going on at the time with, but one of these animals took off and people were like, oh, shit, this isn't good, you know.
00:57:07.080And they had a man who had been in a war or who just owned artillery, okay.
00:57:13.780And he took a, he had a grenade, a real grenade.
00:57:17.380And, you know, sometimes you hear about grenades and, well, sometimes you don't.
00:57:21.560Well, this is a time when you hear about it.
00:57:23.620This man threw, I don't know if he had a flashback, like somebody was escaping.
01:00:33.140So, like, if you're feeling bad and you want to feel good, you either have the option to go out and make your life better by doing the hard stuff.
01:00:40.960Or you can just rub your dick and feel good right away.
01:06:41.060So after, you know, about watching the same five-minute scene probably 15 times, we all are tripping and being like, dude, we just watched a two-hour movie probably, you know, like 15, 20 times.
01:06:55.160Like, you must have been down here for like two or three days.
01:06:58.280So we all thought we were down there for days, son, watching Finding Nemo.
01:07:02.740We thought we stayed up for like literally three days straight watching Finding Nemo.
01:07:09.600And that sounds like, honestly, a place where a couple dudes would end up fucking, to be honest with you.
01:07:13.880And guys who don't usually fuck, but would.
01:07:16.000And I'm not accusing you guys or saying anything, but, you know, when you got three dudes and suddenly, you know, people forget the movie's still going and the next thing you know is two days later and everybody comes up out of the basement, you know, somebody gonna be smelling like ass usually.
01:09:19.400I'm glad you and your brother got to spend some time together, man.
01:09:24.680You know, it's, but it sounds like you made the most of it.
01:09:28.440You know, and that's something I want to do more in my life is just, you know, I want to try and make the most of this time.
01:09:33.840Because I get caught in the same habits, you know, okay, well, let's just stay in and watch the tube or let's, you know, you know, I'll just eat the same thing.
01:10:09.120You know, that's all I, that's what it is.
01:10:11.060You got to add that romance to your life.
01:10:13.380And it doesn't even have to be in a sensual way or in anything.
01:10:17.000But you and your brother, you decided to make your, put some, some type of a feeling in your day.
01:10:22.240You know, some type of an action, some type of a, you went, you know, you guys went rock climbing, you went snowboarding.
01:10:27.680Man, Jesus, man, if my brother and I went and did that, one of our fucking legs would fall off.
01:10:33.700But you made it, you know, you got, you got active.
01:10:37.660And that is, that's the kind of thing that'll keep us out of the dark arts is staying active.
01:10:43.800Because otherwise you out there like me and Avery out there in Detroit, jerking off and wondering, you know, how Eminem just seems so different than he did 20 years ago.
01:11:59.460I'm glad you and your boys got to get out there in that frozen tundra.
01:12:02.180Because a lot of people, when the story is you hear when people go out onto the ice with senior citizens, you know, it's like a lot of Italian shit.
01:12:13.160So to know that you guys are in a family atmosphere out there enjoying one another's company, you know, no big debts to pay off and nobody, you know, getting revenge or anything for a previous issue or, you know, something, you know, some super Italian activity.
01:12:34.860Last week, on the last episode, I talked about, you know, going to therapy and struggling with whether or not I want to go to my therapist.
01:16:23.160What don't I want to talk about with my therapist?
01:16:25.160I don't want to talk about that I don't like her sometimes.
01:16:28.800Sometimes she makes me feel uncomfortable, you know.
01:16:32.320But it's such few moments that compared to the weight of the times that I've felt helped, that it doesn't even compare.
01:16:44.920But that's one thing that could pop into my head and that will sometimes.
01:16:47.900Sometimes what else I don't want to talk about, you know, that I'm afraid of commitment.
01:16:54.860You know, I don't want to talk about the fact that, you know, I'm afraid to get married and have a family because, you know, I might ruin it.
01:17:01.060You know, I don't want to talk about, you know, the fact that I feel sometimes that by living in Los Angeles, you know, that I'm like letting my family down because they don't get to see me very much.
01:17:14.980And it's crazy because the same things that, you know, what brought me out here sometimes in the beginning or made me want to chase some of these dreams I have was feeling like nobody, there was nothing holding me back because I didn't have any real family.
01:17:30.240And then now my family's changed so much over the years that now I feel that, you know, I'm, that now I'm, you know, letting them down by being here.
01:17:46.200You know, and I know some of that's not true, but it's still, you know, or, or just that I'm, you know, not taking advantage of what's most important.
01:17:54.940And, uh, so those are some things, yeah, maybe I'll, you know, that I don't want to talk about.
01:18:00.740Why? So why wouldn't I want to go? Cause I wouldn't want to say those things.
01:18:03.580I wouldn't want to tell somebody that, you know, I wouldn't want to tell somebody that, you know, that part of me is worried that I'll be alone forever.
01:18:12.220And not because somebody won't love me or won't care about me, but because I won't let them, you know, that I won't really do the work to let them.
01:18:21.040Um, but thank you for your call. Let's hear another caller too. That came in real quick. Here we go.
01:18:25.980Hey, yo. It's your boy Roel from Houston, Texas.
01:22:41.040You know, a lot of times we don't realize, and I'm not saying you don't realize, but a lot of times we have to remember that nature's doing other things.
01:24:26.700And I'm wondering if you ever had any experience with that, your thing where, you know, the girls are outnumbered and they put out a different vibe.
01:24:36.680But then once, you know, you kind of even up that pain to the gene race.
01:24:42.320No, I've never, I don't know much about that.
01:24:45.560I do, I did hear, though, that if a lot of girls ride together on a bus or something for a long distance, that all their periods will line up.
01:24:53.560And they will do that, you know, kind of, kind of sort of the same thing that Icy Mike was trying to put on.
01:25:00.320You know, they were trying to put that big, that big viewlation.
01:25:04.740You know, they're trying to, you know, put that big ovulation at one point.
01:25:08.520You know, there's that big outgoing tide all of a sudden at one point.
01:25:12.320So I heard that if girls ride like a couple hours on a, I don't want to say a school bus or a greyhound.
01:25:16.920Yeah, not a school bus because we're talking about adults.
01:25:20.060But on a greyhound or on a bus, then they will all have the same period clock, period schedule.
01:31:18.360So here I was back in Louisiana, you know, and I'm renting a house with my sister and they got strippers coming over and stealing the vacuums and shit.
01:31:27.820And we, and I'm out here and there's a man sitting there one night and he starts telling me about this piece of property.
01:31:34.620And next thing you know, man, fast forward four months, I owned one of the hottest pieces of property in Louisiana.
01:31:40.580Now I got into a weird scenario with some friends and, you know, I didn't really make the best choices and, you know, it was, you know, you shouldn't do business with friends sometimes.
01:31:54.820And, and I lost the, the, the, the property, right?
01:31:59.320And, but I, dude, by being there and sitting there and washing those glasses and showing up to work and just being, taking on some humility.
01:32:09.380Dude, I'm sitting there, I was on television, which I know it doesn't mean anything to a lot of people and that's fine.
01:32:15.780But to be sitting there, you're on TV and you the fucking, you know, you're washing people's glasses and shit, that's life.
01:32:24.400You know, and to be able to do that and, and then that's when something beautiful can come along.
01:32:30.300You know, and I still have to remind myself of that all the time is that, you know, if every day I got to find some way to humble myself and to just to do my job.
01:32:38.100But yeah, man, you know, you know, if you show up and you, you know, it's only your perspective and you're in a tough spot, you got a lot going on.
01:32:44.520So I would just take care of yourself right now.
01:32:46.400I would make sure you get some rest when you can.
01:32:51.240I would make sure you're doing something athletic a little bit, even if it's trying to do a little jog or something to keep your blood flowing and keep your, your, your spirit happy and keep your heart healthy.
01:33:00.060And, and, and if you can try to just adjust your perspective, then maybe what you have going on right now might be everything you want.
01:33:09.540Because to me, dude, honestly, in some ways you sound like a rich dude.
01:33:12.420Dude, you know, you know what I used to love to sweep the porch, man.
01:33:19.860When I was growing up, man, I hated where we lived.
01:33:25.160You know, I hated, I hated feeling poor.
01:33:29.880I hated all the shame that I came, that I felt every day when I woke up.
01:33:33.880But one thing I love to do is sweep the porch.
01:33:35.900Because when that thing was done, boy, that thing was done.
01:33:40.320And I worked on a farmhouse over there in Natchez, Mississippi, outside of there, near Vidalia, over near, off of the levee.
01:33:47.120And I used to, and then they let me paint the farmhouse one summer.
01:38:33.980Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.