This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 4-10-17 This Past Weekend #17

00:00:00.000 what's up you little crispy dick armadillos huh how you guys feeling today man it's monday 0.99

00:00:10.120 are you ready what you've been doing you've been smelling your own breath huh you've been 1.00

00:00:14.680 smelling your cousin's breath you ever done that dude get close by your cousin mouth and 0.95

00:00:19.380 that's air incest bro you ever thought about that you ever thought about that

00:00:24.680 that's that smells so naughty should we tell uncle should we tell uncle you guys ready you

00:00:32.880 guys ready for this past weekend man i'm ready dude i got electrocuted bro let's get into it

00:00:38.040 welcome to this past weekend this past weekend what's up how are you guys doing how are you

00:00:46.900 ladies doing uh thank you guys for joining me it is monday april 10th and um and i'm feeling

00:00:55.000 gratitude right now man um i got electrocuted i'm just gonna start there i got electrocuted

00:01:04.440 and i don't know if you've ever been down this road with electricity uh but it's it's a violent force 0.81

00:01:12.800 man i mean it's like i mean it's like like poseidon just kind of just finger banged your butt 0.56

00:01:20.040 you know that's how i felt uh i'm gonna tell you guys what happened i um i hadn't been electrocuted 0.69

00:01:27.640 in a long time i hadn't been electrocuted in a long time and you forget what it's like you forget

00:01:35.280 the power of it i was um well first i'll tell you about the first time i got electrocuted

00:01:42.100 i was young i was young i was a boy and i was a young boy and i was i grew up near a fairground

00:01:52.720 and a fairground is a place where the fair comes and they have animals there when the fair isn't

00:01:58.380 there and people show animals and stuff like that 4h people um and it was a big field and once a year

00:02:05.860 uh the fair would come and it was not far from our um our home where we lived at so me and uh some of

00:02:13.420 the other boys from the neighborhood uh my friend clark uh would go over there and before the fair

00:02:22.200 would open up for the public they had a day where they would let us ride the rides and they charged

00:02:30.380 just maybe a quarter i think or 50 cents and to get in and you could ride as much as you want as the

00:02:39.740 rides were being put up and functioning and in hindsight i think they were kind of just experimenting

00:02:45.800 with us but we didn't see that uh we just saw it as a deal because to get a regular wristband for the

00:02:53.480 big fair day it was about eight dollars and um and we didn't usually have that money so we would go the

00:03:01.220 day prior and we get out there and they had a lot of you know miscreants and um ne'er-do-wells out there 0.98

00:03:09.220 and you know men that were running from the law and women that kind of looked like lesbians that but 0.96

00:03:15.600 that probably weren't lesbians um non-practicing lesbians maybe and uh and we'd get on the rides 1.00

00:03:22.840 and i got on a ride and my buddy clark was this kind of odd boy he'd had some issues um his

00:03:32.480 he hated sound he hated sounds um he hated all just sounds man so he would often you know wear

00:03:42.140 something extra on his head to kind of keep the sound out of him he just you know i don't and i

00:03:48.000 don't know why he like he was like that um you know everybody's got their thing and he just

00:03:53.600 wasn't keen with sounds and you know he'd like to he was more you whispered around him he was just a

00:04:00.260 gentle he was gentle when it came to the airwaves and uh and so he'd often have an extra hat on or

00:04:07.300 you know some couple of muffs on his ears or um he'd have his head kind of wrapped up in something

00:04:12.980 you know wrap an extra cloth or something around his head uh to keep things quiet around him

00:04:18.220 but we get on to the rides and and it was pretty good you know i mean some of them it was the first run

00:04:24.740 um you know some of the cages would have you know birds would have nested in in some of the

00:04:31.540 different pivots and joints of the rides like the zipper and the tilt to whirl um the gravitron

00:04:39.140 i remember the gravitron as well i'll tell you a story about that in a second but

00:04:43.140 so i was getting off of something i think it might have been the tilt to whirl

00:04:47.880 and it was one of those rides where when you get off the back you know there's you can hear a

00:04:54.480 generator kind of really just rumbling you can hear a generator really rumbling and and i'm getting

00:05:01.380 off and i i was holding on to the rail and then i held another rail and at that point i completed some

00:05:07.880 type of a circuit you know some some some sort of loose energy that wasn't being used by the ride

00:05:14.260 and it started using me and i remember just like my neck got real straight and everything i knew just

00:05:25.000 felt alert and i remember this man was like a tall black man um and everybody was tall to me because i

00:05:35.120 was a child but he could have been a basic heighted basic heighted black man he was like you got to get 0.91

00:05:40.640 off the ride boy and i was like i can't let go you know and he thought that i was um you know uh 0.99

00:05:51.280 uh take an issue with him or that i was um you know just being kind of a a just a little cunt you know 0.99

00:05:59.260 and so he put his foot on my back and basically just kicked me off the ride not kicked me pushed me 0.96

00:06:07.280 with his foot and there is a difference you know some people are always saying they get kicked but

00:06:12.340 sometimes you just get pushed with somebody's foot and thank god he did dude because it was

00:06:19.340 kind of rude of him but thank god he did because i don't think that i would have survived um

00:06:23.180 but that was i hadn't been electrocuted since then since we'd been out there you know experiment

00:06:28.240 on these rides the gravitron i remember they had a man in there who looked like slash from guns

00:06:34.060 and roses and when the when the uh that was the one where you went in and you laid against the wall

00:06:40.100 and then it spun you know like you were in the dryer and and it spun and the whole your the board you

00:06:50.380 were leaning against would go just start to just levitate against the wall um you know like you were

00:06:58.040 really just on the last cycle of uh of you know of a load of laundry and um and at that point

00:07:06.480 you couldn't move hardly you couldn't move your neck or anything you just had to really look just

00:07:11.600 straight forward and they had a dj in the middle a rock and roll man and he'd be in there playing

00:07:16.960 rock and roll and i remember this guy was had you know had a bit of the pervert in him

00:07:21.580 and he would uh he would kind of show his wiener while we were spinning and it was and it was weird

00:07:29.600 because you didn't i remember we never discussed it because you were always or i personally felt like

00:07:37.360 i was always unsure if i was just spinning so fast that i was that i was like seeing wieners or

00:07:46.820 something that i was seeing you know uh adult body pieces and and um but now as i've gotten older i

00:07:55.060 know what happened that man was showing was showing out and that wasn't right of him to do that i think

00:08:01.180 he was just being like a party guy you know but that was the gravitron because you couldn't move you

00:08:07.280 couldn't look and see if everybody else was seeing the same thing so you didn't know if if everybody saw

00:08:14.620 it and people i guess were maybe scared to talk about it um and then clark you didn't discuss

00:08:20.760 things with him that much because he liked to be silent you know he liked to just be kind of by

00:08:26.580 himself uh but anyhow that was the first time i got electrocuted when i was young and and then um

00:08:34.440 until now uh i'm okay i want to say that i had a lot of well wishes people reaching out

00:08:41.160 you know checking in on me somebody asked how many volts it was um and i'm gonna answer that

00:08:48.340 i don't know bro you know like i don't know if that's what you at like i'm not i'm not like a 0.95

00:08:56.180 tachometer or whatever i don't know i'm not trying to set a fucking record dude i got electrocuted 0.99

00:09:01.640 by electricity and i'll tell you what happened i had a comedy set on melrose avenue in uh in west 0.91

00:09:08.660 hollywood and afterwards i was walking a few blocks and they had a food truck

00:09:15.640 and i don't like food trucks man you know it's all you know for people out everybody in la and

00:09:23.320 all these cities are like oh food trucks food trucks but then they'll like you know but then

00:09:30.560 they'll make fun of people who were picking up animals on the side of the road you know like the 0.97

00:09:35.340 area where i'm from and they're like those people are fucked up you know like some hillbilly 1.00

00:09:40.200 grilling something in the back of his truck you know but you're eating out of a fucking truck dude 1.00

00:09:46.240 you know like i've never eaten sushi out of a truck you know like some kind of damn creep 1.00

00:09:52.960 you know like some kind of just damn fucking calorie lurker you know so i don't like food trucks 0.98

00:10:01.280 because i don't i don't like to eat when somebody's cooking something right next to the 0.99

00:10:06.160 gasoline i mean the gasoline in a truck is eight feet from the fucking griddle you know like i don't 0.97

00:10:13.640 eat around that shit so anyway i've i've had a personal issue i guess and um and i'm sorry if i'm a 0.99

00:10:20.380 little fired up dude i mean i didn't i didn't expect this and it's just been a long uh it's been a long 0.98

00:10:26.880 few days so anyhow i saw this food truck they were uh selling lobster lobster rolls which i don't give

00:10:36.340 a fuck about those either dude to be honest and so i you know though i was being myself and i they're 0.90

00:10:43.180 they're selling lobster rolls and i thought they were out of jurisdiction you know i didn't know that 0.99

00:10:48.060 food trucks were allowed to operate on this certain avenue out here in west hollywood

00:10:52.820 so you know being a nosy sob i wander over uh because i'm thinking that these people need to

00:11:00.880 know my point of view you know like oh you guys are selling crab or you know seafood out of you know

00:11:08.640 out of a proper jurisdiction really and in hindsight that was my fault i should have minded my own

00:11:14.720 business uh and kind of around the back of the food truck they had this you ever seen like one of

00:11:20.940 those electric things on the wall like just something an outlet they had a huge one of those

00:11:25.520 on the ground and i just kind of wasn't paying attention and um like a huge one like like i don't

00:11:32.460 know if you've ever seen a um like i think there's a movie maybe it could be home alone where the boy is

00:11:38.560 dancing on a one of those pianos that's on the floor like with the big keys they have it at fao

00:11:45.500 schwartz they have it at a fancy toy store in new york city where you can step on the keys and make

00:11:52.100 the sounds you know and they're like three thousand dollars rich kids have them i guess

00:11:56.840 and it was like that man it was that big it was that big of a of an outlet you know just a big outlet

00:12:04.860 and i and had a bunch of cables coming out of it and i stepped on it and i i thought it felt

00:12:12.240 a me like i was i kind of got straight and then i just got literally crumpled to the ground almost

00:12:19.460 like if you've ever seen like one of those videos where they pour some type of liquid over a coke can

00:12:25.920 or something and it just crumbles uh that was me man i was like kind of crumbling but one of my legs

00:12:33.640 was staying kind of straight and um and i was scared dude it felt like the devil was just

00:12:40.740 grabbing me down you know and i didn't know what was going on um and i realized that i was in

00:12:48.520 unsafe territory and thank god it just didn't last for too long you know it's probably two or three

00:12:56.020 seconds uh which you don't think is long you know i mean if you're a bull rider you know they're

00:13:02.340 supposed to stay on for eight seconds that's so you know me riding an outlet for three seconds

00:13:07.400 isn't a big deal but when you are unexpected unexpectedly start surfing electricity basically

00:13:15.520 riding the lightning it's uh it's real man it gets real pretty fast and so so i was scared dude i

00:13:26.060 didn't know if i was gonna i didn't know if i was gonna die for a second you know for one of those

00:13:30.280 seconds i probably thought that i was gonna die um uh anyhow i went home um the next day i went to

00:13:40.140 the doctor and i went into the doctor's office and this things got even worse in there i went into the

00:13:47.400 doctor's office and he kind of like pushed on my ribs from the front and back and made me like turn

00:13:54.420 to the left and right because there was this sharp pain in my ribs and uh and they ended up figuring

00:14:01.380 out that there's a muscle in there that got damaged or it's called an intercoastal muscle

00:14:06.320 and i don't know if maybe the electricity kind of you know all met up right there in my body

00:14:13.300 but uh but it hurt man and this guy was like squeezing on it made it hurt even more

00:14:19.220 i lost my breath i thought i was gonna die in the office i thought i was gonna die he pushed on

00:14:25.300 it and i couldn't breathe and he's like what's wrong and i'm like i can't breathe and he's like

00:14:32.060 well what what what what happened and i'm like he had just done this to me i had been able to breathe

00:14:40.260 when i was in there before and i'm like i i feel like you know like i'm gonna be killed you know 0.62

00:14:47.680 um and so he's like just take the smallest breaths you can anyhow fast forward i uh i slowly breathe 0.98

00:14:56.100 myself back to neutral um they laid me down for a while uh they gave me a tordol shot in my butt 0.61

00:15:04.620 to get uh some of the muscles to relax and for a little bit of relief and then the dude says uh don't

00:15:11.920 i suggest you don't sleep alone you know and i'm not sleeping with anybody right now you know i'm

00:15:18.200 bedding up by myself i don't even have a cat or anything so i'm thinking well now i gotta find some 0.90

00:15:24.600 fucking muppet uh to bed up with me you know like i i don't want and then i'm torn because it's like 0.99

00:15:32.800 well what if i get some type of fucking you know some straight up fucking you know just animal 1.00

00:15:41.060 some female you know just just some girl that's out in the grind squad i don't want some last minute 1.00

00:15:47.120 chick laying up in my bed because then what if i what if i die what if i die in my sleep 1.00

00:15:52.680 then everybody's like well he's fucking sleeping with this chick um and maybe that's a silly thought 0.99

00:15:58.700 i just my brain started racing and i got very scared um so anyhow i've been i've been recovering 0.99

00:16:04.340 from electricity man the dude's like find somebody to sleep with and uh i just braved it out and slept

00:16:09.940 alone and here i am man i got electrocuted but i'm still alive and i'm living to tell about it

00:16:18.160 and uh and i'm happy you guys are here for this past weekend the news let's get into the news um

00:16:26.360 oh also i know i was going to i was going to do a video where i answered more questions uh this past

00:16:34.160 week um and once i got electrocuted that went out the window so you because you there's just things

00:16:41.120 you can't do man i mean i've been it's been hard to move this part of my body there's a lot of pain

00:16:45.140 right here in my ribs i've been jacked up you know i've been what i would definitely refer to as jacked up

00:16:51.240 so i'm just happy to be alive i'm feeling a lot of gratitude um and here we are thank you guys for

00:16:57.780 joining me uh thank you guys for all the support this is on itunes if it's uh monday morning um

00:17:03.920 later in the day it should come up on youtube if you want to get onto the youtube um you can check

00:17:10.060 it out there we also do a this past follow-up uh where we'll check in with somebody who called in for

00:17:15.680 uh suggestions and we'll put those calls uh smaller segments onto the youtube as well i didn't have any

00:17:23.340 music to kick off the episode this week because uh some people can't apparently can't get the

00:17:30.840 the youtube in certain countries if there's copywritten music in it so i'm trying to figure

00:17:36.980 that out uh we'll get past that hurdle i'm doing the best that i can and thank you guys for bearing

00:17:42.240 with me uh the news um syria bombing i saw that dude sent a couple of missiles over to syria uh

00:17:51.980 and what one thing that i felt was some nostalgia because it's been a long time since america had

00:17:59.020 like uh since america like bombed something you know that we heard about in the news really

00:18:07.160 at a like at a large scale like that and it reminded me of growing up it reminded me of like in the um

00:18:16.080 you know in the 80s 90s 2000s even early 2000s when that was just an everyday practice you would

00:18:23.580 hear about it all the time during the gulf war um you know you were constantly hearing about bombing

00:18:28.900 so it wasn't a big deal uh but it had been a long time and so that really kind of made me feel a little

00:18:33.920 bit of nostalgia i don't know if some of you guys felt that or not uh i thought there was an

00:18:39.120 interesting video online um on cnn where they'd found a guy in syria who was uh grateful uh for

00:18:46.120 the bombing uh or for just the show of force um just because there had been a lot of atrocities

00:18:51.880 happening over there and he felt like uh nobody had been helping those people and so he was very

00:18:56.960 grateful to uh the administration and to um the u.s military uh and i thought that was interesting

00:19:02.940 because you don't see a lot of that from the news these days um what else uh sergio garcia

00:19:09.960 sergio garcia won the masters uh i thought that was pretty awesome i watched the last round

00:19:16.380 beautiful course man i went to the masters once a long time ago and one thing i remember they had

00:19:23.240 ice cream sandwiches there for only one dollar and fifty cents and that's a beautiful price if you're

00:19:29.780 at a sporting event to get something um for that price and i felt like that was great and i just

00:19:36.540 remember i wasn't a huge golf fan uh i think this guy mike weir won it the year i went or billy weir

00:19:43.600 billy he might have been a british man um but but i remember those dollar fifty ice cream sandwiches

00:19:50.560 had about nine of those and i saw the hottest chick i've ever saw some lady named debbie fall in the mud 1.00

00:19:56.840 and because it was a rainy time and it's a lot of the women are wearing high heels and just kind 0.99

00:20:03.180 of giraffing about you know like just like long animals and and this bitch hit the mud and that 1.00

00:20:10.240 made me feel it made it made me feel pretty good to be honest with you dude to see you know debbie 0.99

00:20:18.960 when debbie goes down that shit made me feel pretty damn good reminded me in uh in high school i remember 0.96

00:20:25.980 one time i hit uh i'll be honest dude i hit a hot chick with my car um and i don't know sometimes 0.99

00:20:33.460 in hindsight if i did it on purpose or if i could have not hit her but but it there was something in

00:20:41.500 it felt pretty pretty damn good dude to uh to just equal the playing field um that i felt at the time

00:20:50.040 maybe i felt low of myself and it just you know to see a pretty hot chick you know take a ford 1.00

00:20:57.780 escort to the to the femur whatever that is to the hip that shit i've really kind of warmed me a little 0.92

00:21:04.620 at that time so but i do also want to apologize to that young lady i think we're out of the jurisdiction 1.00

00:21:10.720 of time where there can be a lawsuit uh but at the very least i should come to terms i might have to make

00:21:16.000 a um an amends there what else dude uh but i thought it was cool i thought it was beautiful

00:21:22.180 i always wanted to take my stepdad um i got emancipated when i was about 14 because my mother

00:21:29.720 and i were not on uh level terms and uh and they had a family that took me in and the dad always loved

00:21:39.780 golf and most of my life i've always wanted to take him to the masters uh and i'd still love to

00:21:47.360 be able to do that to afford to be able to afford to do that one day um i hope i can get to do that

00:21:54.040 it's one of those things that kind of plagues me where i you know it's something you want to do but

00:21:58.020 you don't you never get around to it sometimes i worry that i'm not going to get around to it but

00:22:03.060 hopefully i will what else man let's see what else is happening um i haven't been watching the

00:22:09.540 actual news very much dude i keyed in uh for the serious stuff because i'll say this dude i hate 0.91

00:22:16.000 the fucking news bro i hate it man and i'm sorry if i'm antsy or fired up you know i got electricity 0.99

00:22:22.080 inside of me and i feel like the news it's just all but it's all negative everything on it i feel like 1.00

00:22:30.060 america is a much better country than the news makes us out to be all they focus on is the bullshit 0.98

00:22:36.660 i feel like they've they're responsible for more racial bullshit in this country and more racial 0.99

00:22:43.100 division than than any human or group of people could be uh sometimes i wish the new they'd take 0.98

00:22:51.040 these newscasters and the the networks that that sponsor them and bring them up on charges because 0.52

00:22:56.760 some of it is just bullshit we're better people than a lot of these news networks let on that we are 0.50

00:23:01.520 i strongly believe that what else happened this past weekend man not i just was feeling survival 0.89

00:23:08.600 you know i felt a lot about survival and times where you know i didn't know if i was going to make it

00:23:15.720 um i had another near-death experience i ate a bunch of quarters when i was a child

00:23:21.200 i ate about eight dollars and a little bit of change maybe in quarters um and it was all changed

00:23:30.040 but i don't know how much over eight dollars that i actually ingested but i took in a good deal of

00:23:36.840 money and they had to go in and get it out of me and i remember that being you know i was very scared

00:23:44.360 um i think from what i gather talking to my mother i had become envious of a piggy bank

00:23:51.980 and that's a natural thought for a child to have you know that that this pig can have money in it

00:23:58.120 and i want to save money you know i was very money conscious as a child we didn't have much money

00:24:03.840 so the money that i had i wanted to hold on to but i remember being scared about that 0.98

00:24:09.360 um another time i guess i had to go into the hospital uh my p the hole on the end of my penis 0.98

00:24:16.480 wasn't wide enough i had a just a very small opening at the end of my penis and they um and i could 0.99

00:24:25.600 piss like a damn i mean dude i could piss severe i mean i could piss bro i could piss into a bird's 0.99

00:24:34.240 mouth if the branch was only about seven feet up i mean i had i had something special i felt like 0.99

00:24:41.400 but it started to cause a lot of pain because as you get older i guess you can hold more liquid and

00:24:46.880 you're trying to you're trying to spray more liquid out of your body and i remember that causing a lot 0.96

00:24:52.340 of pain and i had to go in for surgery then uh to get a larger penis hole and uh and thankfully that 0.97

00:24:59.060 worked out okay but i remember a lot of fear being around that another time i was very scared for my

00:25:06.220 life was when i got i had appendicitis i had appendicitis i was playing baseball on a very

00:25:17.360 shitty team called the cubs and they didn't let me play they put me out in the field um they had one

00:25:25.420 boy who was out in the field one time and ate a couple of mushrooms psychedelic mushrooms that were

00:25:29.300 growing out there uh this kid named big charles and i don't know if he's ever really been the same

00:25:35.440 kid um so this was before a lot of the fields you know that maybe they properly took care of them

00:25:41.220 or you know maybe cows had been on them at certain times and you know uh and we were dealing

00:25:47.420 with the repercussions of that uh big charles ended up using a lot of drugs um and i'm not going to

00:25:52.840 say that's where it started as a right fielder but i don't think that that's far-fetched what else

00:25:59.680 man but i had been playing for the cubs and we were horrible and um and i was i i was feeling some

00:26:10.000 stomach pain i went up to bat got hit by a pitch that was my big move couldn't swing the bat well

00:26:16.500 but would often get hit by the pitches and i got to second base was in severe pain in my side

00:26:25.920 and between second and third base i fell down hit the dirt and we had a huge thick

00:26:32.880 just a gristly coach you know they didn't make a shirt that could fit him you know sometimes it

00:26:39.920 seemed like he would you know have a shirt but then like some towels kind of sewed around the bottom of it

00:26:45.420 you know or have an apron on as well to hide some of himself because he was just all body all gut

00:26:52.780 you know all just just fatty triceps and gut and he uh he was screaming at me he ended up actually

00:27:01.980 i think getting accused of being indecent with children and uh he never did anything to me but

00:27:11.620 he did get accused i know that and i'm still friends with two of the guys actually just did

00:27:17.720 an investment with one of the guys who uh who he tried to make some you know uh sweet gestures towards

00:27:24.580 but anyhow i'm coming through second base and i'm heading towards third and i hit the dirt man i'm in

00:27:30.640 pain uh my appendix is ruptured or whatever and i'm laying on the ground and this dude is screaming at me

00:27:37.140 to round the bases and i can't round the bases dude i can't round the bases because part of my body

00:27:44.660 is busted open on the inside and he came out and was dragging me to third base um this coach

00:27:53.920 uh and at third i couldn't do anything else i stayed on the ground i remember holding on to the bag

00:27:59.940 as he tried to pull me down the towards home um the referees or whatever they're called umpires

00:28:06.520 were angry other people got furious and uh i mean it didn't matter we lost the game anyway we lost

00:28:12.900 every game by 10 run rule but i remember that being a really trying time and then i ended up in the

00:28:18.900 hospital for a few days because i had a ruptured appendix and i was very scared of that uh so anyhow

00:28:26.160 that's what's going on man that's what uh this past weekend i didn't have much happen because of

00:28:31.220 that right there i do want to let you guys know coming dates i have the punchline in sacramento

00:28:36.620 and that is april 21st through 23rd may 25th through 28th i'll be at the side splitters comedy club

00:28:46.600 in tampa florida and tampa's an old pirate town if you haven't been over there a lot of spanish

00:28:54.180 moths hookers a lot of you know florida's known for just being it's really the appendix of america 0.66

00:29:01.340 in that it just all the gutter and the real trauma really uh just kind of gestates down there so it's 0.95

00:29:09.420 definitely a place for a good time and then june 1st through june 4th i will be in pittsburgh

00:29:16.560 at the pittsburgh improv um if you want to support the podcast you can go to theovon.com

00:29:23.160 slash store uh we got some good shirts on there we got some artwork we got some new stuff that'll

00:29:28.300 be coming up on there this week as well later this week i got a new album that'll be online

00:29:33.760 of my early work uh it's going to be it's a classier version um and it's just all the early

00:29:40.400 stuff you know uh so i'm excited about that all right man we got some great calls that came in

00:29:46.640 i want to thank everybody for uh for being a part of this journey with me uh when you guys call in

00:29:52.220 with questions or concerns or or thoughts i mean i learn a lot as well uh so i'm glad that uh that

00:29:58.280 you guys are helping me um i want to thank also uh my buddy adam who's out there there's a guy named

00:30:04.340 adam who i've never even met who gives me advice about this podcast uh there's a guy named cameron

00:30:10.880 who does the artwork who i've never even met in person who does the artwork uh there is a guy named

00:30:18.220 sherb sherb you know who who does who who masters the audio at he's been doing it at 6 a.m the past

00:30:29.160 month um and i've never met him and so the joy that i'm feeling just from you know the kindness of

00:30:36.820 people um it's really awesome man and i want to say that i feel it and and thank you guys and we're in

00:30:43.980 this together and whatever we're doing um let's continue to do it thank you guys so much for the

00:30:49.800 support all right let's uh let's get into some calls here i want to thank you guys for hitting the

00:30:55.400 hotline that number is 985-664-9503 and that uh you can call in and leave a question or a comment

00:31:07.320 anything about you know that you might need some uh you know some some guidance if it's something i

00:31:12.380 can relate to i'll relate to it uh any basic life suggestions that i can offer i will try to offer

00:31:18.360 all right guys let's get into some of that we had some great callers call in here we go

00:31:23.320 what's up the uh i'm calling in from northwest arkansas i just northwest arkansas baby that's uh

00:31:30.460 quartz country and um little abner i think little abner from that area uh onward

00:31:38.140 uh on one of your podcasts you did a couple weeks back you're talking about how uh you whenever you

00:31:45.420 grew up you didn't really have very many relationships with uh men whenever you're a kid and i

00:31:52.560 that's true my brother moved to live with my grandparents when i was young so you know i was

00:31:58.020 in a room you know just with an empty bed across the room um and my father was very old and some of

00:32:05.340 the other they had some adults around us some of them were um you know some of them were pedophiles i

00:32:10.660 talked about that uh one man kept combing his hair all the time you know like he just just he had some

00:32:17.980 issues onward i'm like the opposite uh pretty much all my relationships were with uh with dudes

00:32:24.980 and uh all my friends are dudes and have very many like uh girlfriends and uh because of that it's

00:32:34.300 uh kind of hard for me to talk to the females it's a little difficult to um to not force conversation 1.00

00:32:42.080 whenever i'm talking to girls and i'm i can i can i can uh i can relate to that man i remember

00:32:48.420 when i was young i could not talk to girls i just felt embarrassed there was oh i couldn't talk to

00:32:55.560 girls that i liked that was the toughest part um i was just afraid you know i just had this thing

00:33:02.520 built in my head that they hated me or that they just did not like me and i remember one time i this

00:33:08.840 girl i was just in love with as a child i remember that i spit in her hair um because i was so pent up

00:33:16.580 with wanting to just tell her that i liked or maybe or something that i couldn't so i just gathered

00:33:23.740 every bit of genetic ability liquid ability in my face and just deposited on onto her head one time 0.97

00:33:32.720 um and i ended up getting suspended for that onward a little better at it now than i used to be i started

00:33:40.260 doing a lot of festivals and honestly just taking a bunch of ecstasy the best time i can talk to

00:33:46.700 to women is whenever i'm rolling my tits off on some good good molly and uh because of that it's helped a 0.75

00:33:54.660 little bit i'm a little better at uh carrying on conversations but i was just wondering if you've 0.94

00:33:59.880 ever had that problem and uh if you have how you kind of got over that all right um so we got a

00:34:09.680 gentleman in northwest arkansas i love the fact that arkansas you just you assume people don't know any

00:34:15.040 any location in that state so you just sort of label it um as an area you know almost as it's like

00:34:21.940 you know like it's part of space or something um but i appreciate the call man

00:34:27.180 well first of all if you're using drugs to talk to women i've been there you know i you know i used

00:34:37.680 to think that using cocaine uh would make me like a party guy and it can help it can help for a while

00:34:45.780 you know but but at the but but the kind of girls i was meeting were just straight just drug muppets 1.00

00:34:55.380 you know and kind of chicks that would wear those you know ewok things on their head with the long 1.00

00:35:01.820 bands coming out of them and you know candy necklaces adults wearing candy necklaces and playing in the

00:35:08.460 desert you know and wearing fake furs and dressing up like foxes like dirty foxes and you know doing

00:35:15.620 you know just you know hiding ecstasy and acid inside of their bodies and

00:35:21.600 boofing i remember this one girl was boofing is a thing where you put cocaine in a straw 1.00

00:35:28.800 and then you blow it into somebody's buttocks or butt into their right into their butthole really 0.99

00:35:34.680 into the hole in their butt and uh and so yeah it was using drugs was cool for a little bit but 0.99

00:35:42.220 after a while you can devolve where you're just using drugs and that that can get a little scary so 0.97

00:35:49.580 i'm not saying it's a bad idea what you're doing but if your expectations are to continue to carry

00:35:56.580 that behavior on you might run into some issues where you're just doing drugs by yourself

00:36:01.920 and there aren't any girls uh and that that can easily happen you know that can easily happen man 0.98

00:36:08.880 um it sounds like you got to find some comfort in talking to women you know and and i used i mean

00:36:19.980 dude i went through a time where i was so nervous to talk to women the only thing i could use were 1.00

00:36:25.960 like shitty pickup lines you know garbage ones um you know they had the one are you a polar uh 0.94

00:36:32.500 are you a polar bear because you just you know i'm a polar bear i'm about to break the ice you know 1.00

00:36:38.840 that garbage you know verbal and then i used to have this one line in hindsight this shit is horrible 1.00

00:36:46.460 i was like uh let's play hiroshima i'll lay on my back and you blow the shit out of me 0.99

00:36:53.780 so that was but i mean that's where i was i was at a point where personally i couldn't find a comfort

00:37:04.400 level where i could speak to women and how to get through that i would find you gotta you have to you 0.98

00:37:13.320 have to get through it and you're gonna have to practice and what i would practice is listening

00:37:18.640 i practice listening man i think you're you you could be thinking because i personally used to

00:37:25.180 think that i had to start the conversation every time sometimes you can just listen just listen i mean

00:37:32.860 a lot of women all they want is a man to listen to them and to care and i think if you start with

00:37:39.160 that with the listening then you'll eventually find spots where you can interject and offer um offer

00:37:47.600 something to the conversation you know and also if you're it's it's and you can just try things also

00:37:56.760 if you want to try little things to talk to a woman i would try little things like i like what kind of 0.98

00:38:03.440 candy do you like you know shit that like a five-year-old would say because all it's about is starting the 0.99

00:38:10.880 conversation you don't need to think or worry three or four steps in advance just say hello 1.00

00:38:17.320 my name is so and so you know um just little things like that are really the starters uh and we got you

00:38:25.840 got you have to get yourself confidence up because if you are thinking that women don't like you then 0.93

00:38:31.340 they're just going to sense that you know um because the thing is they probably do like you you know

00:38:36.660 they probably do um and you just have to find some ways to be comfortable around them

00:38:41.360 so comfortability will lead to communication so if you can get to being comfortable you're going to

00:38:48.060 be in a good spot now you also man if you get hooked up on the drugs and that you're going to start weaning

00:38:54.280 yourself off of that you know if the only way you can speak to women is on at a rave on ecstasy

00:38:59.580 dude you might that might not end well you know so i don't know if you need to put on some house music

00:39:06.400 and suck on a clarinet or something at the house you know or start to wean yourself off of that 0.73

00:39:11.360 behavior so you can create some regular behaviors where you're actually you know communicating to 0.96

00:39:17.240 women in a regular way man you know when you can find a girl that you already know and it doesn't 1.00

00:39:23.540 have to be one that you're sexually interested in and just communicate just listen practice bro you

00:39:30.940 know practice and also you don't want to be in a spot where where you just take any girl that will

00:39:38.260 take you and you know for years i spent time in that place uh where i would just any girl that would 0.97

00:39:46.720 take me i would accept you know i would take even if she didn't have some of my values or qualities or

00:39:54.920 anything i just felt so less of myself and i'm not saying that you feel this way about you

00:40:02.700 but i felt so less of myself that i just felt like i wasn't worthy of someone

00:40:10.840 who was good for me or who i was good for i was just hopefully worthy of anyone and that was not a fun

00:40:22.360 place to be and uh and you end up with people that you end up with being in a match that's not a real

00:40:28.200 match you know because you want to end up if you want to end up with a woman and if you're looking

00:40:33.540 for something long term you're going to want to find a woman that's real and if you don't always have

00:40:39.180 to agree with girls you know if they don't have your vibe dude then screw them on to the next one you 1.00

00:40:44.240 know um but just don't make your if you can get in your head that you have value and you have worth

00:40:52.120 which you do you do bruh you know you sound like a pretty legit dude man i'd probably go party with

00:40:58.300 you bruh you know i'd probably do a couple bumps and put on a wig and let you practice conversation

00:41:04.080 on me you know um but you don't want to end up with someone who doesn't deserve you just because

00:41:11.060 you're afraid to to you're afraid to feel like someone does deserve you so i don't know if any

00:41:21.200 of that helps man but i hope i could relate a little bit and uh and yeah be easy on that drugs man you

00:41:27.020 know um maybe use a placebo you could try that you could try using a placebo you know maybe just fill 0.97

00:41:34.000 your mouth with damn you know uh uh uh uh fill your mouth with a little box of good and plenty's 0.98

00:41:40.940 and see if you meet a girl on that you know hide a couple lifesavers under your tongue and see who 1.00

00:41:47.220 you meet you know and you can practice talking to sisters too man sisters love to chat beautiful dark

00:41:53.500 skinned girl um and and it's good practice you know uh and you might meet a beautiful sister that 0.78

00:42:01.000 you fall in love with you know you might be the next gary owen uh or the next bill burr um who are

00:42:06.620 both you know uh great confident men uh good luck with that man let's check out another question here

00:42:14.620 hold on hey theo i got a question for you my name is jose i live in uh new mexico jose new mexico

00:42:26.300 um i'm gonna say this gentleman could be latino thank you for calling sir uh he might be our first

00:42:32.200 latino check-in and um i'm grateful to have you brother onward and uh yeah i just got a question for you

00:42:40.080 i just got out of a relationship and i'm noticing one of my biggest problems is um i'm a jealous 0.98

00:42:45.680 motherfucker and i don't know how to get past that shit it's kind of a hindrance to my past 0.99

00:42:51.200 relationship because it's not like i'll go out and beat a motherfucker up or anything like that it's 1.00

00:42:56.640 just he said he said it's not like he'll go out and beat a motherfucker up so he's not doing that 0.99

00:43:03.220 but he did just refer to himself as a jealous motherfucker so that sounds pretty jealous that 0.99

00:43:09.560 sounds pretty jealous you know onward i don't know i just just feel like i don't know like 0.99

00:43:16.900 i just i'm not in control of some of the things that happened in that sort of situation uh this

00:43:23.720 past relationship i had a extremely beautiful girlfriend she uh she didn't believe that any

00:43:30.200 guys she met that they were trying to get into her pants i tried to give that to her but 1.00

00:43:34.920 just wasn't getting through i'm a guy and i know how guys work so that always came to bite me in the 0.99

00:43:41.760 ass man yeah man i'll say this it's hard uh if you're just telling your girlfriend that 0.99

00:43:50.620 you know that's it's just not going to resonate well you can warn her but you know beating that 0.92

00:43:59.680 into her verbally it's not going to help because jealousy equals insecurity and when women 1.00

00:44:06.400 sense when they see that you're insecure it makes there's there's naturally women are not 1.00

00:44:14.560 are going to have trouble being attracted to insecure men um i've been jealous man i have been jealous

00:44:21.780 uh i'll tell you about my jealousy in just a second let's uh let's finish up the call here

00:44:26.140 but yeah man if you have any any uh any advice or anything i should do to 0.93

00:44:31.460 kick this jealousy shit man i don't like it i don't like it but uh cool keep up the good work 0.99

00:44:37.620 man podcast is the shit okay he wants to kick the jealousy man well i appreciate you calling in jose 0.99

00:44:41.620 because that's a that's a brave thing to admit and it's a brave thing to recognize 0.99

00:44:44.980 you know i was extremely jealous of past girlfriends dude i was so insecure i my i had one girlfriend

00:44:57.080 um i ended up breaking into her apartment and putting nair nair which is a hair removal care

00:45:04.140 into her shampoo bottle um when i found out that she had been uh doing sex with another man you know 0.50

00:45:13.280 and i think some of that could have in hindsight been deservant um that's also out of the uh out of

00:45:19.220 the jurisdiction of uh prosecutable offenses now that's been about 15 years uh so i'm safe to discuss

00:45:25.920 that but uh but i was extremely jealous of that girl you know um i was jealous i remember my one

00:45:35.520 of my first girlfriends um she'd lost her virginity to someone else right and i'd lost my virginity to

00:45:41.920 her you know and i know losing your virginity it's not a big deal anymore but at the time when i was

00:45:47.900 young it was a big deal you know when i was um at that you know first sex age you know early sex ages

00:45:54.780 and i remember i was so jealous for some reason that she hadn't lost her virginity to me and this

00:46:02.360 seems like a crazy thing for me to talk about um and i don't know if this can relate entirely to your

00:46:07.560 your issues here but i just kind of in a weird way i like held it against her you know i was just so

00:46:15.840 jealous of of you know like why didn't like why not me why didn't you wait for me but this girl 1.00

00:46:22.600 didn't even know we weren't even a part of each other's lives so i was so insecure about myself as

00:46:30.660 a man and about being a good boyfriend or sexually confident that i you know wanted to somehow erase

00:46:39.680 any other sexual instances that she'd ever had you know and i wanted to do it by

00:46:46.340 by making her feel bad i guess and that's just bizarre i mean that's because it's unrealistic you

00:46:54.060 know there's no way to go back in time and change things and you can't that's not you know that's not

00:46:59.760 something that can happen you know so it was just me just finding any way i could to make her feel

00:47:06.500 bad and i figured if i was making her feel bad then i would have some type of control over her i guess 1.00

00:47:14.100 um you know and it's sad to hear myself say that now because i don't behave that way anymore

00:47:19.260 but you know when i was younger i certainly did and i would just get extremely jealous where were you

00:47:25.300 where you been what's going on um you didn't call you didn't text you know and i was just so insecure

00:47:31.800 i was so unconfident i didn't have the bill i didn't have the ability to be you know i didn't

00:47:38.380 have any self-confidence i didn't have any self-confidence at all um but what i could have

00:47:44.660 done and what i recommend or what i suggest is that if you know what your jealous behavior is which

00:47:52.360 it sounds like you do then if you start to feel that do the opposite do the opposite action now that 0.97

00:48:00.700 action might be do nothing that action might be instead of writing where the fuck are you 0.97

00:48:06.140 right um you know i hope you're having a nice evening but you have if you know what the action 0.96

00:48:12.940 is that's causing that if you know what one of the actions is that's part of your issue then doing

00:48:19.440 the opposite would be the correct thing and a lot of times it's going to be do nothing a lot of times

00:48:25.800 that's going to be absolutely do nothing um and i remember it got to the point sometimes where

00:48:32.560 somebody would ask me how do you feel about this girl the only feeling i even had was jealousy

00:48:38.660 like i'd be in a relationship for a couple years and my main feeling was jealousy

00:48:43.680 like it wasn't oh i love this girl it's like oh i'm i'm just jealous i'm so caught up in myself

00:48:49.640 you know i'm so caught up in using anything i can to keep her because i felt insecure jealousy

00:48:56.940 comes from fear you know it comes from the fear of losing someone it comes from the fear of of

00:49:02.700 thinking that you know your friends are gonna uh think you're weak um if they if that person leaves

00:49:09.420 you uh jealousy comes from fear man so you got to find some ways uh to cure that fear you know there

00:49:15.880 might be some self-help groups out there for jealousy or for anger management where even if

00:49:19.840 you got into one of those or went to a couple meetings you might be able to hear someone who

00:49:24.280 can relate to your story or share your story with some men in there where they can um you know they'll

00:49:30.860 have a similar yeah where they can relate and share some information with you man but you also have to

00:49:36.200 have reasonable expectations so next time you feel like being jealous try being supportive i mean

00:49:43.620 it's going to be hard but just be supportive it you know imagine start to imagine that instead of

00:49:50.480 your girlfriend is doing something wrong that she's doing something right that she cares that she's out 0.99

00:49:56.420 you know doing whatever she's supposed to be you know is normally you know doing as part of her daily

00:50:01.960 life and that she's thinking about you in a positive way you know start to imagine that

00:50:07.320 that a healthy connection can actually happen and and that's going to start to create some confidence

00:50:15.600 i feel like inside of you but it's some of that really comes from self-confidence and self-worth

00:50:20.240 and just feeling um feeling insecure so i wish i knew more to suggest to you but but i can certainly

00:50:28.940 relate man i mean i was just i didn't know what else to do i didn't know how to express how much i

00:50:34.380 cared about these women the only thing i knew how to express was um that i felt like i had to control

00:50:42.180 them and i would use uh and that was often fueled i was often fueled by my jealousy um so i don't

00:50:49.040 know i hope some of that you know can resonate a little bit uh let's let's check in with another call

00:50:54.920 here hey ceo thanks for the podcast man dude it is awesome thank you so much bro you bet man you're

00:51:03.240 welcome dude thank you for uh thank you for listening i got a question here um thinking about

00:51:09.760 i live in boston right now and i'm thinking about going out to la and man it just seems like that's

00:51:15.800 the place to be how long have you been living in la and i don't know i'm just thinking about doing

00:51:21.960 that move so just give me some pointers or or not well dude all right man how long have i been

00:51:30.120 living in la i've been living in la for about 14 years man um and i'm gonna say first i'll give you

00:51:37.020 the positives and negatives from what i think this doesn't have to be anybody else's feelings

00:51:42.760 la is lonely to me la is a lonesome city there's very little sense of community a lot of la is a

00:51:52.880 lot of uh you know freaks and dreamers um then i'm not saying these are bad people i'm one of them

00:51:59.560 um it's a lot of freaks and dreamers creeps uh weirdos you know it's la it's like this it's like

00:52:08.060 that porch light that's on that bugs just flock to you know there's a lot of beautiful bugs out here

00:52:15.140 and a lot of real seedy centipedes out here and you spend a lot of time in your car people talk

00:52:22.280 about traffic traffic disconnects humans okay you sit in your car your best friend a coffee dude you

00:52:30.240 better have some good cafe my buddy because your best friend will be a coffee you spend a lot of

00:52:38.240 time in your car so that time you can't spend it with other people so there's not a strong sense

00:52:43.060 of community a lot of people move here to get what they want and then to go so you you never like oh

00:52:51.200 there's tons of pride in los angeles they don't have that um also there's a lot of freaking uh there's a

00:52:59.640 lot of posterity you know it's like all the bars shut at 130 um you know everything just looks good

00:53:07.860 here but the reality is that it's it that's what it's supposed to be for there's lights there's

00:53:12.520 cameras we want to capture everything looking awesome you know so you don't get a lot of sense

00:53:18.020 of how it feels really um there's a lot of uh there's a lot of people raising their raising their

00:53:24.940 kids in like small apartments where the kids don't have room to really get out and explore

00:53:29.240 people care more about animals here than they do about other people um you'll see a you know you

00:53:36.160 see a you know a disabled bichon that thing will have 95 caretakers in a minute you know you see a 0.99

00:53:43.340 dude you know beating another dude with an axe people will just be videotaping it you know and and

00:53:50.840 there's just not as much care for for other humans here uh as much as there is for like animals

00:53:56.080 a lot of people have service animals a lot of people don't even have friends here they just

00:53:59.960 have service animals you'll say i saw a lady the other day had maybe six service dogs dude uh what 0.99

00:54:06.320 the fuck you know is this some kind of service iditarod you're in lady you know are you are you 0.98

00:54:12.400 sledding you know how how sir how much service do you need you know and it's just a lot of people that 1.00

00:54:19.400 are just disconnected i feel like from reality uh you see a lot of uh latino women caring for white 1.00

00:54:27.320 children if you go to a lot of the parks here a lot of lovely latino motherly type of women 1.00

00:54:32.880 um while a lot of uh the parents are off working it's a lot of both parent work cities so uh but a lot

00:54:41.460 of both parents work here you know which is fine but i'd love to one day have a wife that doesn't have

00:54:47.320 to work that can work if she wants to she's an equal but i'd love i think having a mother at home 1.00

00:54:53.360 is important i think it's one of the things that we're missing a lot uh so there's a lot of disconnection

00:54:58.400 here with that um there's a lot of gay dudes out here fighting over instagram likes i'll put that out 0.51

00:55:04.700 there you know um there's a lot of there's just a lot of disconnection man there's not a long

00:55:12.240 a lot of sense of community there's a lot of lonely people lonely people dude um i mean it's

00:55:21.240 just it can be a very lonely city so i feel like those are a lot of things you get out here in los

00:55:26.920 angeles uh everybody has a you know people have dogs or it's a lot more important that's why animal

00:55:32.360 rights is so huge here because people don't know how to even relate really to other people now those

00:55:38.220 are some of the things that i find about la that are probably negatives positives anything can happen

00:55:45.600 here man you can have friends of all types like it's it's baffling um you know i have so many i know

00:55:54.140 i am you know i know so many amazing and wonderful talented people there's so many talented people

00:55:59.900 that i get to work with at the comedy store all the time or that i you know that i cross paths with

00:56:05.920 in different professions like i mean some of the most talented people in the world so that's that

00:56:11.960 i mean when i look through my phone i'm like wow i'm just so blessed to know so many just superior and

00:56:18.860 unique people so you have tons of unique people here that you wouldn't be able to know

00:56:23.520 in other cities the weather's priceless uh it's great you know i mean it's always great it's so great

00:56:31.500 that you don't even think about the weather i've never looked at a weather report ever been here

00:56:36.940 for 14 years never looked because at 99 of the time it's exactly the same with that said it's also

00:56:44.040 like groundhog's day where you don't have any seasons you don't know what's going on i mean it

00:56:48.180 could be may it could be december it's all the same you start to miss i start to miss a lot of the

00:56:54.280 seasons man you know you miss the colors you miss a night of rain where the you know where you hear it

00:56:59.520 outside and and everybody's more calm and things slow down you just don't have that here uh holidays

00:57:05.460 there's it's so diverse here that nobody gives a fuck what holiday it is you know you don't see any 0.90

00:57:11.920 decorations because one decoration is going to offend another ethnicity or another religion and

00:57:18.280 so that to me isn't fun you know i mean you know i like more of a smaller area vibe where everybody 0.50

00:57:25.540 if it's christmas you you decorate for christmas you know who gives a fuck if some people don't 0.84

00:57:30.120 celebrate christmas or or some people don't celebrate this or that let's decorate for everything 0.63

00:57:34.340 so you don't see a lot of that man the only time you know when it's a holiday is when you walk into a 0.88

00:57:38.640 cvs um what are some other positives the beach is right there the water's cold as fuck they don't 0.91

00:57:45.360 tell you that bro uh it's freezing it's dirty uh but i was raised in dirty water so i don't mind that 0.96

00:57:52.200 i would like it to be a little bit warmer uh would i come to la again if i could come out here

00:57:58.600 you know i've been really blessed man it would be hard for me to go back and say i'm uh you know

00:58:06.720 i know i've met so many great and wonderful people that i feel fortunate to have in my life

00:58:11.800 so yeah i would i would move here again i think it's worth trying i think it's worth trying anything

00:58:17.580 new i think new things can come out of making a move like that um i think it's brave to move

00:58:23.780 there's a lot of times where i wanted to move to new york city but i wasn't brave enough to do that

00:58:28.860 you know and sometimes i feel bad about that looking back on my past and i still can and i tried to last

00:58:36.100 year we've been out here pitching some shows um but but i feel like uh yeah i feel like i would do it

00:58:45.600 again if you want to do it man i say do it if you can afford it you're still young enough where it's

00:58:51.280 not gonna you know if one year isn't gonna kill you and it's gonna be a unique experience do it

00:58:55.840 a city that i would recommend definitely living in though is new york city i mean you're already in

00:59:01.160 boston so that might be too close for you but uh but anyhow those are my feelings on it man

00:59:06.600 i um i appreciate you guys joining me this week for this past weekend i'm not gonna have any music on 0.81

00:59:13.020 the way out today for you guys i don't know what's happening to me these days i'm just fucking 0.98

00:59:17.520 falling apart you know but i shouldn't open my loud mouth you know i shouldn't have went over to

00:59:22.560 that to the lobster truck and let them know what i was thinking they didn't need to know it was a 0.98

00:59:27.420 it was a mexican woman working in there she didn't even fucking i don't even think knew what i was 1.00

00:59:32.560 talking about um so for me to think that these people are selling food out of jurisdiction when i don't 0.99

00:59:39.180 even know the zoning uh that's just sheer ignorance so so what the fuck am i talking about but i'll say 0.89

00:59:46.760 this man i love you guys and i appreciate you guys listening uh let's hit the hotline again next week i 0.94

00:59:51.800 want to talk a little bit about family man if you have a family what's it like these days to have a

00:59:56.540 family is it hard um to be a man and to run a family um you know to stay in that every weekend and

01:00:04.640 week out uh i didn't have much of a vibe for that when i was growing up but i see now that my brother

01:00:10.380 runs a household he and his wife and they managed to do a pretty good job and that's been a good

01:00:15.500 example for me recently in my life but also it scares me man it scares me to think that you know

01:00:23.120 that that could be part of my future it makes me want to just kind of stay in my zone and my little

01:00:28.600 safe spaces and um and and be afraid of starting a serious relationship or of starting you know

01:00:37.860 heading in that direction you know sometimes i don't want to grow up and i don't want to uh i don't

01:00:43.000 want to take that harder road you know but i'm i'm hopeful that that i'll be able to but i don't know so

01:00:51.100 i'd love to hear from you guys about uh if anybody has you know is dealing with a family what that's

01:00:56.980 like uh you know some of the pitfalls if you want to hit the hotline you can also hit the hotline with

01:01:01.640 anything else you have and uh and we might uh get into it that number again is nine eight five six six

01:01:09.600 four nine five zero three uh hashtag basic life suggestions thank you guys very much for joining

01:01:16.060 me on this past weekend uh you guys be good to yourselves huh won't you try that i bet you deserve it

01:01:23.840 thank you ladies and gentlemen i'm jonathan kite and welcome to kite club a podcast where i'll be

01:01:30.660 sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your

01:01:35.780 partner the answer may shock you sometimes i'll interview my friends sometimes i won't and as

01:01:42.620 always i'll be joined by the voices in my head you have three new voice messages a lot of people are

01:01:49.500 talking about kite club i've been talking about kite club for so long longer than anybody else so 0.98

01:01:55.620 great hi swia he's a deal anyone who doesn't listen to kite club is a dodgy bloody wanker jermaine 0.94

01:02:04.320 i'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a victory sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken 0.94

01:02:10.480 i think tom hanks just butt dialed me anyway first rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club

01:02:19.560 second rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club third rule like and subscribe wherever you

01:02:26.340 listen to podcasts or watch us on youtube yeah and yes don't worry my brad pitt impression will get better

01:02:32.860 thanks don't worry

01:02:35.900 um

01:02:37.040 listen to see so much

01:02:38.180 listen i can hear me

01:02:39.080 listen i can hear you

01:02:40.400 listen i can hear you

01:02:41.840 listen i can hear you

01:02:42.740 listen i can hear you

01:02:43.780 listen i can hear me

01:02:44.840 listen i can hear you

01:02:46.280 listen i can hear you

01:02:46.860 listen i can hear you

01:02:49.000 listen i can hear you

01:02:49.940 listen i can hear you

01:02:51.880 listen i can hear you

01:02:53.980 listen i can hear you

01:02:54.920 listen i can hear you

01:02:56.960 listen montre

01:02:57.960 listen i can hear you

01:03:00.940 listen let me

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - April 10, 2017

4-10-17 This Past Weekend #17

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