This Past Weekend with Theo Von - April 24, 2017


4-24-17 This Past Weekend #19


Episode Stats


Length

48 minutes

Words per minute

172.17494

Word count

8,410

Sentence count

667

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Toxicity

89

sentences flagged

Hate speech

12

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

This past weekend I was in the middle of nowhere in Sacramento, CA and I had allergies. I talk about how to deal with allergies and how to handle them. I also talk about the dangers of being in the city and the people that live there.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.520 What's going on you little gentrified brain wiggas? 1.00
00:00:04.100 I got allergies, bruh, and one of my eyes is a little bit shorter than the other one. 1.00
00:00:08.420 Fuck it, dude. Welcome to This Past Weekend. 1.00
00:00:12.800 This Past Weekend.
00:00:30.000 You hear that?
00:00:39.860 You hear that?
00:00:42.520 That is Army of Angels.
00:00:46.080 That is Army of Angels from Epidemic Sounds.
00:00:50.060 And that is, that's that type of music where you, you know, something crazy is happening in a film, you know, like they got the art and they're running out of the museum or, or somebody's running through a tunnel wearing like a, you know, like a helmet and they're looking for, they're looking for a bad guy or something like that.
00:01:16.100 You know, that's where the action is and that is called Army of Angels and that is, uh, that is action music.
00:01:24.860 That's a sound that plays in your head when you, you know, are late for work and you're still trying to make a smoothie really fast in the blender, you know, when you're throwing a bunch of shit in there and, you know, getting all fucking jazzed up and, you know, you got the banana in there and you're trying to put some peanut butter in there and some milk. 0.93
00:01:45.240 And you don't have any milk so you're fucking putting water in there and you're eating a jacked up fucking rural New York smoothie, you know, probably has four grams of protein, 70 grams of sugar and, uh, and that's what you're having. 0.89
00:02:03.640 And that's the kind of music that's playing in your head, uh, when those types of things are occurring or at least that's how I feel, man. 0.97
00:02:10.900 That's exactly, exactly how I, uh, welcome to this past weekend guys.
00:02:15.300 It is Monday and if it sounds like it's April 24th, 2017, that's because it is, it is that date that is where we are in the, in time.
00:02:28.860 Um, and I have allergies bro, I'll admit it dude, you know, I'm not the kind of guy who, you know, just stands around red-eyed, you know, with snot kind of hanging out of his nose like, uh, you know, like, uh, you know, like a couple of, couple of Asian fellas or kids hanging off, uh, you know, the side of a bicycle or something.
00:02:52.020 Um, I, um, I got allergies dude, I'll admit it, I got them, I fall victim, you know, I can be a tough guy but also I can fall victim to, uh, to, uh, to pollen, you know, really puts you in your place.
00:03:07.920 It really puts you in your place when you think you're a badass and then you have to sit down, um, and really gather yourself before you sneeze because you got issues with pollen.
00:03:18.860 So that's where I am, I'm in Sacramento, California, I'm actually in the kitchen of a residence in, uh, motel hotelery and if you've never been to a residence in, it's a very, uh, basic, um, but comfortable type of place, you know, it's, it's your, you know, middle of the road type of, uh, motel hotel and I've been here this weekend in Sacramento.
00:03:44.860 Um, Sacramento, um, Sacramento, good place I feel like to get, uh, to get socks, to get new socks and maybe to get murdered or not murdered but attacked.
00:03:56.240 I could see somebody just hitting you for no reason in Sacramento.
00:03:59.640 It kind of seems like the kind of place where karma is, um, prevalent.
00:04:07.260 It seems karma heavy.
00:04:09.440 Like at any point you could get jacked or hit by somebody or a bird. 1.00
00:04:14.100 A bird wouldn't shit on you in Sacramento but it might come down and bite your fucking neck. 1.00
00:04:18.980 You know, maybe a couple of black birds or mixed birds might fucking come down and, you know, just, just fucking just, just slap you with their wing, you know, or fucking rip a mole off your back with their talons. 1.00
00:04:35.380 You know, it's got that kind of, it's got that kind of edge to it. 0.99
00:04:39.860 It's got like a hillbilly edgely and, you know, it's got that hillbilly edge but also kind of a thug.
00:04:46.760 Everybody looks like kind of like a mixed baby that grew up. 1.00
00:04:50.800 Um, but it's good, man.
00:04:52.600 It's real people and I love real people, man.
00:04:55.040 And I think it may have, it may be the city where I ran into the most, um, like, like fans and friends where I felt like a real connection.
00:05:06.480 I mean, I just really, really relate, uh, to the people around this type of environment, man.
00:05:12.220 So I had a great weekend except for these allergies, got daddy down.
00:05:17.360 Um, you know, I'd rather be snotting out of my nose than out of my pecker, though.
00:05:22.840 That's the old saying, you know.
00:05:25.040 I'd rather have allergies than, uh, sexually transmitted, um, diseases and that, you know.
00:05:30.800 And no offense if somebody has those, you know.
00:05:35.040 Some of that's part of nature.
00:05:38.760 Excuse me.
00:05:39.440 But yeah, if you can see on the YouTubes, I'm in the kitchen right now of a Marriott residence inn.
00:05:43.860 And I've got some, uh, some new dates for you.
00:05:46.180 I'm coming to Phoenix, Arizona in two weeks.
00:05:50.260 You can come and get a look at my straight up D, uh, not really, but you can come and be a part of the show, man.
00:05:57.140 I'd love to have you come out.
00:05:58.500 That's May 5th and 6th at Stand Up Live in Phoenix, Arizona.
00:06:04.460 Um, I'm really excited about that.
00:06:07.400 May 25th through 28th, I'll be in Tampa, Florida at SideSplitters.
00:06:12.560 June 1st through 4th, I'll be in Pittsburgh at the Pittsburgh Improv.
00:06:16.760 June 23rd and 24th, New York City.
00:06:19.960 I hope to catch up and jump on the Opie, uh, Opie show there as well.
00:06:23.460 And then June 30th, we are doing a fundraiser show in Wyoming, Illinois.
00:06:30.180 It's a small town.
00:06:31.780 Uh, the tickets will go online this week for that.
00:06:34.220 It's about an hour from Peoria.
00:06:36.800 Um, not too far from the Quad Cities.
00:06:39.020 So, if you're in, uh, Illinois and you want to come check that out or you're in Iowa, come on over.
00:06:44.120 It's going to be a, it's going to be a really good time.
00:06:46.000 Small town show.
00:06:47.340 I'm excited about that.
00:06:49.500 All right, man.
00:06:50.480 Let's get into the weekend, man.
00:06:51.820 It was, uh, it's been a, it's been a chill one.
00:06:55.700 You know, I'm at this residence inn.
00:06:57.040 I got into a little bit of a fracas at the pool here.
00:07:01.000 Um, they got some guys, I guess, been staying here for about a month.
00:07:05.120 You know, some dude who's real, like, tall, like, beer belly.
00:07:10.860 Like, almost amazing amount of beer belly for his height.
00:07:14.600 And he just talks.
00:07:17.280 He knows everything.
00:07:20.140 And, uh, and he was grilling, bro.
00:07:24.020 He's been grilling all weekend at the pool. 0.99
00:07:26.160 At the, you know, who uses the grill at a fucking Marriott residence inn? 0.99
00:07:31.760 I didn't even know they had a grill. 0.98
00:07:33.700 And this dude's out there.
00:07:35.020 He's inviting friends over. 0.99
00:07:36.600 He's got fucking, they got some lady, like an older lady out there twerking about, maybe about 48 years old. 1.00
00:07:42.860 Um, you know, uh, blonde hair, party, you know, uh, just kind of shaking her, just like, not really, shaking her, just kind of bending over and holding onto a table and then just shaking everything. 0.99
00:07:59.600 You know, it's one thing to kind of shake your ass and do that fancy ass work, you know, and to really get yourself, you know, gyrating. 0.97
00:08:08.620 But it's another thing just to kind of bend over and just fucking move your whole body at once. 0.98
00:08:14.620 Like, it's not the same. 0.60
00:08:15.820 Um, it almost looks like somebody's hurt or something, you know, like they got, uh, like their whole body is itching, but they're not allowed to scratch it or something.
00:08:25.620 Like they've been, you know, they've been told they can't scratch themselves.
00:08:29.000 So they're just trying to scratch their body against the air by moving their body around.
00:08:34.460 So that's kind of what this lady was doing out by the pool. 1.00
00:08:37.280 And of course you got all these fellas drinking and this dude's fucking grilling potatoes, you know, like, uh, I don't know, man. 0.99
00:08:47.920 I mean, I've been in some pretty gutter shit, but this dude's out there like this fucking know it all grilling potatoes, you know? 0.98
00:08:57.880 So I'm trying to go in there and talk to him just, I mean, they were just kind of ruling the pool. 0.98
00:09:02.080 I guess I got a little mouthy, um, but things calmed down and, uh, it was just awkward.
00:09:08.580 It's awkward to see somebody, you know, grilling out at a, at a residence in, but here I am, man, here I am.
00:09:16.360 I'm in, uh, in Sacramento.
00:09:18.200 A lot of missing people, a lot of people here look like missing persons. 0.95
00:09:21.720 You know, I put this on Twitter yesterday and I just, everybody here, I kind of, you know, I love those shows where, uh, where people are missing.
00:09:31.120 I've always been a fan of, um, of missing people, of buried treasure.
00:09:35.720 You know, I can't even sleep at night really unless I've seen a new episode of a show where somebody is missing or where there's a treasure that, uh, hasn't been found.
00:09:44.960 I just have an obsession with that.
00:09:47.420 You know, I found some fingers by the, uh, in the woods when I was young.
00:09:52.420 Um, and so maybe that spurned some of that, some of that behavior, but that's always been a part of my life.
00:09:58.540 I love the missing.
00:09:59.880 So if you are missing, you know, or you know somebody that's missing, dude, um, I'd love to hear about that.
00:10:05.960 Or if you know somebody that went missing, we can talk about that, uh, next week.
00:10:10.080 I'd love to know if you've ever been missing as well.
00:10:13.420 If you are someone who went into hiding, you know, or who decided to skip out on, you know, a prison sentence or hide from their family or something like that.
00:10:24.860 I'd love to, to get to, you know, I'd love to have you call in, hit the hotline so that I could, uh, get into that and learn more about, uh, what your life has been like.
00:10:34.880 Uh, we're getting close to having some guests, guys.
00:10:36.900 I hope next week to have a guest.
00:10:39.560 So I know I bring things up on the show that I want to do.
00:10:42.880 I appreciate you guys bearing with me. 0.98
00:10:45.080 Um, it's a struggle because some of these weeks on the road keep popping up and I'm in a fucking kitchenette.
00:10:51.360 But, okay, if you're on YouTube, you can see me. 0.99
00:10:53.800 I'm taping this shit. 0.99
00:10:54.640 I don't even have my mic stand. 1.00
00:10:55.900 I have my, I have the top of it but not the bottom.
00:10:58.660 I have this thing propped up in a coffee pot that I took the top off of.
00:11:03.360 So we're doing what we can.
00:11:05.460 I got allergies. 1.00
00:11:07.860 I just want to shoot myself in the fucking head with an EpiPen. 1.00
00:11:11.660 Anyhow, 985-664-9503. 0.99
00:11:15.520 If you are missing or if you know someone who has been missing, I'd love for you to call in.
00:11:23.060 Um, I remember when I was young, we were playing hide and go seek and a boy went and hid and, uh, and they never found him.
00:11:30.960 We never, no one ever found him or heard from him.
00:11:33.320 So I sometimes wonder what happened to that, uh, that boy.
00:11:36.680 What else, man?
00:11:39.240 Um, I read this, dude, that they had some conjoined twins.
00:11:46.280 I believe they're from Mexico and now living in Connecticut.
00:11:49.760 That's a real, uh, juxtaposition, I think.
00:11:54.580 Um, I don't know what that is.
00:11:55.720 But that is, uh, and they don't want to be separated.
00:11:58.340 Conjoined twins refusing to be separated.
00:12:00.900 And you know what?
00:12:02.800 That makes me feel, it made me feel good when I heard that.
00:12:07.780 Because I'm tired sometimes of us doing whatever science kind of says we should do.
00:12:14.100 You know, the doctors tell them, well, you know, you have a better chance of living if you separate.
00:12:22.200 But, you know, but do, but what's their life going to be like, you know?
00:12:26.000 I mean, I look at, you know, I, I, I'm not in this scenario, but I just, you know,
00:12:29.540 I think it's kind of beautiful to stay in it, to stick it out. 0.98
00:12:34.260 You're conjoined, you got your fucking, you can high five yourself, but somebody else at the same time. 0.99
00:12:39.800 There's something beautiful about that. 0.99
00:12:42.360 And to know that, um, that you're in this together through thick or thin.
00:12:47.520 There's something beautiful about that.
00:12:49.500 That, you know what?
00:12:50.140 Don't separate us.
00:12:51.660 We're going to see what we can do.
00:12:53.220 We're going to make it through this together.
00:12:55.000 I think that's pretty beautiful, man.
00:12:56.620 So that story really resonated with me.
00:12:58.300 Um, I hope they stay conjoined.
00:13:01.160 I hope they stick it out.
00:13:02.960 And you know what?
00:13:03.820 If they go to heaven, they go to heaven together.
00:13:06.140 You know, and I think there's something beautiful about that, man.
00:13:09.120 It's like when somebody gets, uh, you know, it's like if you had a little person that was hooked on to you.
00:13:15.780 And you didn't, and you got them cut off.
00:13:18.920 You know, I wouldn't do that.
00:13:20.160 I'd, I'd say we'll ride or die, you know? 0.99
00:13:22.480 You know, this is my friend's shotgun, and we fucking, we're going in, and we're going into life together. 0.99
00:13:28.780 Thought that was interesting. 0.98
00:13:30.740 Um, another thing in the news, I saw the Confederate monuments in New Orleans, and I know this has been happening in other cities,
00:13:38.340 are being taken down.
00:13:39.800 There's been a lot of issue back and forth there about these Confederate monuments.
00:13:44.200 Uh, Robert E. Lee, other, uh, Confederate, uh, statues and, uh, soldiers.
00:13:50.500 That, that it's a racist, you know?
00:13:52.120 That people feel, and predominantly black people, but also black and white people feel that it's not, you know,
00:13:59.280 that you see this leader of a Southern army and that it's, uh, that it's racist.
00:14:03.980 And I can understand the rebel flag.
00:14:07.000 Like, I get that, you know, because there are people that really associate that, um, heavily with, with racism.
00:14:14.780 Um, but I, I, you know, I'm, I'm just not a proponent of the, of bringing down the Confederate statues,
00:14:20.640 because if you're going to do that, then there's statues in New Orleans where there are, like, slaves.
00:14:25.920 There's slaves, and it talks about, like, you know, when indentured servants and slaves came to New Orleans.
00:14:31.820 Um, there's some, I believe, in the Mahalia Jackson Park right there in Armstrong Park.
00:14:37.760 Then I'd like to see those statues gone, because I don't want to remember that.
00:14:42.760 I didn't have anything to do with slavery, you know?
00:14:45.500 Like, I'm sorry.
00:14:47.420 I think it's horrible, you know?
00:14:48.680 I wouldn't probably want to be a slave, I don't think.
00:14:51.420 I mean, maybe in some instances, but not overall.
00:14:54.880 Um, but it's like, when do we just, like, is, do we just take everything away that bugs somebody?
00:15:04.660 You know, and I know that, you know, remembering slavery isn't bugging somebody, it's bigger than that.
00:15:09.260 But, you know, I don't want to see, I don't want to see things that remind me of negative stuff, you know?
00:15:15.700 Like, I just feel like we're headed down this road where we're never going to get to a place where everybody's happy, you know?
00:15:24.100 Like, I never walk down the street and am totally fired up, you know?
00:15:28.020 If that, if we're doing that, then get rid of all my ex-girlfriends, you know?
00:15:32.320 Get rid of, uh, get rid of the dude that used to make me bury his poops in the yard when I was growing up.
00:15:38.780 He, actually, he passed away, so that's already, that's a mute point.
00:15:43.200 But, like, at what point do we stop, you know, getting rid of just anything that bugs us?
00:15:48.480 So, I don't know, you know, I just, I don't agree with that.
00:15:51.660 I agree with taking down things that really are surefire of racism.
00:15:56.200 But, you know, the South had its own army.
00:15:59.840 I just, I feel like having some tradition is okay.
00:16:04.060 I just feel like, because at a certain point, we're headed down a road that you can't, you're never going to be able to do it all.
00:16:09.220 Let's completely erase history then.
00:16:11.760 Because history has always pissed somebody off.
00:16:14.600 You know, something pisses somebody off everywhere.
00:16:18.680 What else, dude?
00:16:19.400 I've been thinking about the future, man.
00:16:21.580 And I want people to call in, too, if they have some thoughts about this.
00:16:23.980 The future, dude.
00:16:25.100 And you know what I'm talking about.
00:16:27.380 You know, what's next?
00:16:29.340 And it kind of spooks me out, bro.
00:16:31.120 You know, I feel like we are so, I almost dropped my phone in the pool here at the residence inn.
00:16:40.000 And I, like, flipped.
00:16:43.380 I, like, felt my whole body, like, kind of seizure up.
00:16:47.020 And I was like, wow, like, I don't really get that feeling unless it's my phone, you know?
00:16:53.760 Like, if I saw, like, a friend fall in the pool, I'd be like, ah, they'll probably be okay, not knowing if they could swim or whatever.
00:17:01.860 They'll probably be all right.
00:17:03.580 But when you see a phone about to go in, you're like, oh, my God.
00:17:09.220 It's going to die.
00:17:10.620 Like, that's what I felt like. 0.53
00:17:11.740 It's going to die.
00:17:13.000 It.
00:17:14.180 I mean, it.
00:17:14.920 As if it were more than a machine.
00:17:17.180 That's what concerned me.
00:17:18.860 I was like, this, that I thought of it as more than a machine.
00:17:24.940 Anyhow, so I'm just a little bit worried about the future, man.
00:17:27.860 When do we stop technology?
00:17:30.560 At what point do we shut it down when it's not, like, when it's not helping us anymore?
00:17:40.200 You know, like, when is that?
00:17:42.160 Like, I can understand in some fields, you know, in some of the medical fields and stuff like that.
00:17:46.600 But when do we, like, self-driving cars, you know, the trucking industry, they say, will be gone.
00:17:56.880 Like, cross-country truckers, you know, a lot of stepdads, probably a lot of stepdads doing that work. 0.97
00:18:04.280 When does that end?
00:18:06.140 Because if we allow self-driving cars, then you just have thousands and tens and hundreds of thousands of men and women that are going to be out of work. 0.68
00:18:15.400 Like, I don't see the benefit there.
00:18:17.840 Like, at what point is it not helping us to be human?
00:18:22.020 I feel like we're there right now.
00:18:23.800 I'd love to know some of you guys' thoughts on that.
00:18:25.760 I feel like we're at a spot in time where technology isn't helping us as humans anymore.
00:18:36.380 It's just helping us to create, basically, machines and a future that has us not as really a big part of the picture.
00:18:50.940 So that's where I'm at with it, man.
00:18:53.240 I have a lot of concern there.
00:18:55.540 You know, I also think that TVs are too clear.
00:18:58.500 I'm watching this the other day.
00:19:00.260 I'm trying to watch something.
00:19:01.860 Dances with Wolves.
00:19:03.200 You know, the movie about, it's about a warrior whenever he goes to, he meets a woman. 0.99
00:19:10.460 And there, somebody has fucking wolves, I think. 0.99
00:19:16.220 I can't even remember. 0.97
00:19:17.040 Guys, it's, sorry, it's 3 a.m.
00:19:18.760 I'm a little bit out of it.
00:19:19.740 But, bro, the movie was so clear.
00:19:23.080 I felt like I was watching, like, home videos from Oklahoma.
00:19:27.460 You know, of, like, a Civil War reenactment.
00:19:30.100 I'm like, this is, it just, it didn't hold, it wasn't the same.
00:19:34.440 So I'm just wondering if anybody else feels that way.
00:19:36.440 Like, am I the only person who, I just think televisions are too clear.
00:19:40.640 Like, I want to know that it's a story.
00:19:43.040 I don't want to feel like I'm looking into, like, a weird window where it doesn't seem like a story.
00:19:49.280 So those are just some of my thoughts on the future, man.
00:19:52.800 That's where I'm at.
00:19:54.080 I know I'm rambling a little bit today, guys.
00:19:55.720 I'm going to get through this.
00:19:56.820 And I want to apologize, too, man.
00:20:00.460 I know that, you know, I've said, again, that there's some things I want to do with this podcast.
00:20:05.320 I want to get to some other levels.
00:20:06.680 I want to get some guests.
00:20:08.760 And I haven't gotten to those things yet for you guys.
00:20:11.940 And I want to.
00:20:14.120 I had a guy this weekend at one of the shows.
00:20:17.480 And he was really nice.
00:20:18.540 After the shows, we were talking.
00:20:20.060 I met a lot of great people here in Sacramento.
00:20:23.680 Went downtown, beautiful downtown.
00:20:26.820 But I met a guy, and I was like, he's saying he likes the podcast.
00:20:31.900 And I said, well, thank you for listening.
00:20:33.160 You know, I'm trying to figure it out and, you know, trying to figure out what I'm doing sometimes.
00:20:37.960 And he goes, just do what you say you're going to do.
00:20:40.980 That's what he said.
00:20:42.880 And at first, it kind of struck me a little bit, like, in a strong thing to say.
00:20:47.860 But then I was like, he's right, man.
00:20:50.160 You know, if I'm going to connect with people and I'm going to want to share
00:20:53.800 and have, you know, listeners share with me, you know, I've got to do the things that I say I'm going to do.
00:20:59.980 So I do want you to know that I'm making an effort, that I'm trying to get it done,
00:21:04.760 that I'm trying to create, you know, good, legit content for you guys 0.92
00:21:09.520 where we can, you know, move forward and learn some shit together. 0.86
00:21:13.160 It's been a rocky year for me. 0.98
00:21:16.260 You know, with the Native American child that could have been, 0.87
00:21:20.940 that kind of sent my feelings into a whirlwind.
00:21:23.960 With the electrocution, you know, with just the belittlement out there in Los Angeles
00:21:30.580 being a Southern guy, you know, they don't want us.
00:21:36.340 They don't want us, man.
00:21:37.380 They want to take down the statues.
00:21:39.220 They want to take down the humans, I feel like, a lot of times.
00:21:42.740 But I'm going to try to do the things that I say I'm going to do.
00:21:45.140 So I've had a lot of amazing calls from you guys that I'm going to try to get to.
00:21:49.000 Most of them that are relevant.
00:21:50.980 You know, there's one where it's a guy and his kid just talking in the car
00:21:55.020 for two and a half minutes.
00:21:56.660 There's nothing there, you know.
00:21:58.660 There's some where guys are making up stories. 0.97
00:22:01.240 There's a couple where men are jerking off in the distance 0.99
00:22:03.520 or women that sound like men that make male jerk-off sounds. 1.00
00:22:08.800 There's a lot of stuff going on. 0.97
00:22:10.880 But I got allergies right now.
00:22:13.140 I got a lot going on today.
00:22:14.660 I want to get this out to you guys.
00:22:16.800 I want to get to a few questions.
00:22:19.520 You can support the podcast if you want.
00:22:23.440 You can go and grab the album, 30-pound bag of hamster bones.
00:22:28.140 It's still out there.
00:22:30.360 And what else?
00:22:31.640 There's some other cool stuff on the website.
00:22:33.940 TheoVaughn.com slash store.
00:22:36.760 All right, man.
00:22:37.360 Let's jump into a couple of calls right here.
00:22:40.560 Let's go.
00:22:41.440 Hey, what's up, Theo?
00:22:43.580 This is Chase.
00:22:44.840 I'm calling from actually right outside New Orleans.
00:22:47.860 That 985.
00:22:48.920 You heard me?
00:22:49.900 That 985.
00:22:50.980 Boy, I do hear you, Chase, man.
00:22:53.060 That's my neck of the woods, brother.
00:22:55.820 Come across 10-4.
00:22:57.800 I was calling in reference.
00:22:59.760 You asked about if anybody's having trouble about masturbation or stories about bad jobs or something like that.
00:23:07.220 Well, I had this job.
00:23:08.880 I actually really liked it.
00:23:10.040 It was one of my favorite jobs.
00:23:11.800 I was driving school bus for the parish and all.
00:23:15.120 Oh, nice, dude.
00:23:15.980 Now, the parish, most states have counties.
00:23:19.540 Louisiana, we have parishes.
00:23:21.120 That's what they call it there.
00:23:22.300 So it's the same thing. 0.99
00:23:24.600 Damn, this dude's pretty gangster, bro. 0.99
00:23:26.300 If you're driving bus, bro, go on. 0.99
00:23:27.840 It was basically awesome.
00:23:31.740 I saw the sunrise every morning, off every weekend.
00:23:35.140 But there was this one aspect where the high school kids, you know, like public school in, you know, South Louisiana, you can kind of paint the picture in your head.
00:23:45.760 Oh, yeah.
00:23:46.680 Really, all the kids were great except for this one.
00:23:49.320 And I really kind of liked him and hated him because, like, he was, like, a really smart, sharp dude.
00:23:56.620 Like, but he was zinging.
00:23:58.580 Ah, you got zinged by the children, huh?
00:24:01.540 I can relate to that, man.
00:24:03.460 I can relate to school bus activities.
00:24:06.220 That's for sure, Chase.
00:24:08.100 When I was young, bruh, they, we had, I'll tell you this story.
00:24:14.020 We had a boy on our school bus who, his daddy made him a wooden shirt.
00:24:20.180 And I talk about this sometime in my stand-up, but his daddy had made him a wooden shirt, a shirt out of wood.
00:24:26.200 And not even, and not even teak or balsam, you know, those are malleable woods.
00:24:31.840 This boy's shirt was made out of ply, plywood.
00:24:36.500 And the daddy was an Elvis impersonator.
00:24:38.620 And he, the daddy was an Elvis impersonator because, well, first of all, he was an alcoholic, you know,
00:24:48.280 because we only had, you know, maybe a few hundred people in our area. 0.99
00:24:54.380 We didn't need a fucking Elvis, dude, you know. 0.98
00:24:56.800 We need, you know, we need gas money and we need ideas, you know. 0.99
00:25:02.360 Those are the top two things we need.
00:25:04.500 Nobody's hiring an Elvis, you know. 0.99
00:25:06.220 And fucking half of everybody's uncle looks a little bit like Elvis anyway. 0.98
00:25:10.740 So nobody's going to go just get another uncle for, you know, whatever price he was charging. 0.98
00:25:16.280 But anyway, this man had broke his leg and they set his leg in cement to fix it cheaper, on the cheap, you know.
00:25:24.760 But when it, when it, and it healed up well, everybody assumed.
00:25:29.360 But when they, but when they broke the cement cast off, they broke it with a hammer, ball peen hammer.
00:25:34.700 And it rebroke his leg and a hip in about two or three different spots, maybe at least.
00:25:41.880 So then he was really effed up.
00:25:44.020 They had to set most of his lower body in the cement, except for where he could urinate out of.
00:25:49.920 So, but after that, he healed up.
00:25:53.160 He kind of had like this wobble in his hips, almost ironically like Elvis Presley.
00:25:58.180 But anyhow, he had three or four children and one of them was a boy.
00:26:05.060 And the boy used to vomit on the bus all the time because the family didn't have a refrigerator.
00:26:11.340 They only had a freezer.
00:26:13.140 And he would eat ice cream and he would, the bus ride would shake and make him sick.
00:26:18.920 And he would vomit up on the bus, doing bus vomit.
00:26:21.360 But, and, and anyhow, one, one, one, one week I was coming home from church practice.
00:26:31.660 And the dad was in the garage and he was making his son a, a wooden shirt, a shirt out of wood.
00:26:39.660 And I went over and I didn't know what he was doing. 0.96
00:26:43.360 You know, I thought he was building the fucking biggest birdhouse I've ever seen. 0.99
00:26:47.480 You know, I'm thinking like, damn, this dude, this dude's trying to meet a pelican, you know? 0.98
00:26:53.940 So I go over and I see this activity going on and I'm, I'm looking at him and the dad, he's, he's like, you want to help me out? 0.98
00:27:04.300 And I'm like, I don't know what's going on.
00:27:08.080 And he's like, I'm making my boy a shirt, you know?
00:27:11.180 And so I want to be helpful.
00:27:14.060 You know, I'm a young man, but I'm, you know, I'm, you know, fired up to try and be helpful.
00:27:20.600 So I try and help, but I don't know how to make a shirt.
00:27:24.160 But anyhow, I came back two days later and that was Christmas time.
00:27:27.840 I came back on Christmas and we, and I held the side of this when he nailed his son into the shirt and he made his son a, excuse me, a beautiful, I mean, pretty, pretty, pretty beautiful wooden shirt out of plywood.
00:27:42.560 So it's not, it almost looked kind of camouflaged, you know, because of the ply, because of the different, you know, wood particles that are in there.
00:27:50.800 But, but he wore it for a while.
00:27:52.720 Some people spray painted swastikas on it on the school bus as well.
00:27:57.840 And nobody had anything against Jews.
00:28:00.000 People had just seen that on pamphlets, you know, had seen, had seen the swastikas on pamphlets and stuff.
00:28:08.120 And so somebody drew that, you know, we didn't even have any Jewish people in our area.
00:28:12.320 Even though my mother dated a Jewish man for a while, was the first Jewish man I ever met.
00:28:16.840 Actually, this man, Zali was his name.
00:28:20.500 Still one of the neatest names I've ever heard.
00:28:22.400 But anyhow, that boy had that shirt for a while and then some people stole it from him with crowbars and made, allegedly made a baby crib out of the wood.
00:28:36.600 So that has kind of a sweet ending.
00:28:38.280 But, but what I was answering there, sorry to go into that, but what I was answering was, was this gentleman's question here on the school bus.
00:28:48.240 Let's go back to that story.
00:28:49.340 I don't know how I got away from the school bus so, so far.
00:28:52.000 But that was a strange kid that rode my bus, was that boy in the wooden shirt who used to do a lot of bus vomiting.
00:28:58.900 But anyway, go on, Chase.
00:28:59.940 Let's get back to you. 1.00
00:29:01.240 Every fucking day. 0.99
00:29:03.560 And it started the very first day I ever picked him up. 1.00
00:29:07.300 He didn't skip a beat, you know.
00:29:09.140 Of course, smelling of weed.
00:29:11.160 Steps right onto the bus.
00:29:12.720 I'm a big fat dude.
00:29:13.940 You gotta understand this.
00:29:15.580 And he looks right at me.
00:29:16.820 That's cool, man.
00:29:17.840 I have some friends that are pretty fat or different types of sizes in their body.
00:29:22.460 Go on.
00:29:23.480 So you got the kid getting on the bus making fun of you a lot. 1.00
00:29:26.820 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:29:28.180 It's Peter Griffin driving the bus. 1.00
00:29:31.000 So that pretty much set the tone for the rest of that whole entire school year.
00:29:36.520 Wow, man.
00:29:37.340 So that's, so you got the kid getting on the bus.
00:29:40.280 He's raising hell.
00:29:43.060 So I was calling to see how would you deal with a situation like that.
00:29:47.260 Or you just roll with the punches and enjoy getting zinged by a professional.
00:29:51.400 So, all right, man.
00:29:52.860 Well, you know what?
00:29:53.880 I mean, I'll say this.
00:29:54.820 If he's quick like that, you might not want to go at him, you know.
00:30:01.040 Sometimes you just can't compete if somebody's zinging you.
00:30:04.680 And sometimes you just need to not try and compete and just enjoy the fact that they're zinging you, bro.
00:30:11.120 You know, I mean, if he gets really mean with it, you could ask him, take him aside and be like, look, man.
00:30:18.500 I think it's, I think you're a funny, funny dude.
00:30:21.440 You know, respect that in him because he probably takes a lot of pride in being funny.
00:30:24.840 You know, it might be the only thing he has, you know.
00:30:27.200 He might not be real smart.
00:30:28.520 He might just be funny.
00:30:29.580 Like, you know, when you're a funny kid, I think you take a lot of pride in that.
00:30:33.720 But just ask him not to be mean.
00:30:37.900 Say, look, you can make fun of whatever you want.
00:30:39.580 Just, you know, if he's really gripping at you something that's really hurting your feelings or getting into your feelings, you know.
00:30:44.480 Because you've got to drive a bus, dude. 0.98
00:30:46.500 You can't be getting bent out of shape because fucking, you know, little Terry is zinging you. 1.00
00:30:51.900 And next thing you know, you're, you know, you're fish tailing, you know, 50 kids around. 0.99
00:30:58.240 You know, you've got to keep it together.
00:31:01.740 So, yeah, that's what I would do, man.
00:31:03.060 You know, just let him have his fun, dude.
00:31:04.580 Laugh with him.
00:31:06.420 If you think you've got a good one, maybe go back at him, you know.
00:31:09.840 Maybe you could ask some of the other bus drivers what are some popular terms that they use to make fun of children.
00:31:16.680 We had a man that drove us to school shirtless one time, this man named Milford.
00:31:21.780 And he had a mixed boy.
00:31:23.840 He had a boy that was mixed, but they tried to pretend like the boy was not mixed.
00:31:28.080 So, he had a boy that was half black, half white, a son.
00:31:33.700 But they tried to pretend like the boy had two white parents.
00:31:37.980 And I always thought that that was interesting.
00:31:40.320 And I also thought my vision was bad for a while because I would see him and be like, 0.88
00:31:43.800 damn, my eyes aren't seeing colors correctly.
00:31:48.000 I used to think that. 0.99
00:31:49.360 But, Chase, thanks for calling in there, dude.
00:31:51.140 Sorry I went off on my own tangent.
00:31:53.460 I'm at my wits end right now, and I'm high on Claritin.
00:31:56.020 And I've been putting down some Claritin recently, this weekend here in Sacramento.
00:32:03.320 It's Claritin country.
00:32:04.840 Let's get into another question right here, man.
00:32:09.180 Hey, Theo.
00:32:10.020 I got a unique one for you, man.
00:32:12.380 We got a lot in common in the fatherhood department.
00:32:14.900 My dad was 66 when I was born.
00:32:17.740 Okay, wow.
00:32:18.380 His father was 66 when he was born.
00:32:21.620 My father was 70 when I was born.
00:32:22.980 So, very similar.
00:32:23.860 And he died when I was 16.
00:32:26.740 Same here.
00:32:27.720 And right after that, a year after that, I joined the Marine Corps, got deployed, came home.
00:32:33.140 Thank you for your service, brother.
00:32:34.500 Came home and? 0.54
00:32:36.260 And had a hard time readjusting, so I kind of went down a shitty road.
00:32:44.060 I got a couple questions for you because I think you might be the only person I've ever heard of 0.96
00:32:48.160 that's got an old-ass dad like mine. 0.73
00:32:49.920 But how do you handle with not having that father figure to go to, and do you feel any resentment? 0.66
00:32:58.560 Because I find myself having resentment towards him.
00:33:03.340 Okay.
00:33:04.200 I'm going to stop it there because that's a lot right there.
00:33:08.060 How did I handle not having a dad, and did I feel any resentment?
00:33:12.720 You know, the resentment, it's hard to have for me because, for me, my father just wasn't really there enough to resent him.
00:33:29.480 So, I can resent kind of him not being there.
00:33:32.560 But he just, at a certain age, there's not a lot that they can even do.
00:33:41.200 So, like, he couldn't even be there in a physical capacity.
00:33:46.200 I mean, my parents also got divorced when I was seven, and then I only saw my father on the weekends.
00:33:50.760 But, you know, he could only be there so much in a physical capacity.
00:33:54.140 So, to have a resentment towards him is really tough.
00:33:59.400 Like, I do resent the situation.
00:34:02.500 I resent his choice to have children when he was that old.
00:34:06.320 But also, if he didn't have kids, I don't exist.
00:34:10.260 So, I have to be grateful for that.
00:34:13.020 I have to be grateful for my own life.
00:34:14.680 Because if I'm not grateful for my own life, then I'm not, you know, I'm not even taking any stock in myself.
00:34:21.980 So, I am, I do have resentment towards him just for not being there.
00:34:28.600 But I don't have resentment, like, small resentments towards him.
00:34:32.100 Because once he wasn't there, there's nothing really that he could do.
00:34:35.700 And because of his age, he really couldn't be there.
00:34:39.560 So, I guess there's some resentment there, but not, like, in every moment.
00:34:43.760 Like, I wish my dad was here for this.
00:34:45.380 I wish, I don't hold those resentments.
00:34:48.080 Now, unfortunately, what I do is I put a lot of pressure on my mother.
00:34:52.560 You know, I took a lot of things out of my mother that should have been probably a father's responsibilities.
00:34:58.840 But suddenly, all those male responsibilities switched to my mother.
00:35:02.760 And I think the same thing happens with a lot of kids that just have a mother or just have one parent.
00:35:07.980 But you put the pressures or the, you put your desires or your expectations of, that you'd have of both parents onto one.
00:35:18.400 So, I did that a lot.
00:35:20.600 And I feel bad about some of that, you know.
00:35:22.600 But I was a child and I was trying to survive.
00:35:25.660 And I didn't know.
00:35:27.840 I also was blessed a lot, man.
00:35:29.380 And I had, you know, I found fatherhood in the littlest of things, man.
00:35:36.580 Any adult that would even talk to me that was a male, like, I would remember things that they said.
00:35:41.540 Because I was just such a sponge for any older man to spend time with me or to talk to me.
00:35:50.040 You know, I had a friend, one of my best friends when I was younger was this boy, this man, Billy.
00:35:55.980 And he was a homosexual gentleman. 1.00
00:35:59.180 And he was a fighter.
00:36:00.300 He used to do some prize fighting down there in southern Louisiana.
00:36:03.580 Very fancy fellow, too.
00:36:05.700 And I used to run him around to buy weed and drugs and this and that.
00:36:09.960 Really neat man.
00:36:11.640 He used to cut his own hair as well.
00:36:13.500 And so did I.
00:36:14.300 And we had that in common.
00:36:16.340 And he kind of became a role model for me.
00:36:20.500 He was tough, but he was gentle at the same time.
00:36:23.600 Because he had that romantic interest in men's and in pleasure with men's.
00:36:27.720 So I had, I would see him.
00:36:30.000 And he kind of, he was older than me by about 10 years.
00:36:33.500 So there was, he had a lot, or 15 years maybe.
00:36:36.200 I mean, hell, he might have been nearly, mildly pedophilic in some of his behaviors.
00:36:40.800 But I just embraced being able to be around him.
00:36:46.300 Because he almost had, you know, some father-like abilities.
00:36:50.260 He was tough, he cared about me because he probably might have had a light romantic interest.
00:36:56.240 But he also was in touch with his feelings.
00:36:58.480 So he was sentimental.
00:37:00.360 So I'll say that.
00:37:01.280 He was tough, but he was sentimental.
00:37:03.980 That's kind of what I think a lot of, you know, men desire, or young men desire in their father.
00:37:08.740 So I got a little bit of that from my buddy Billy before he actually got peeled up and drove into an embankment.
00:37:15.040 And he died, I think, in a cutlass.
00:37:16.760 But I had another man who's still kind of like a stepfather to me today.
00:37:23.640 I became friends with a kid.
00:37:25.600 He invited me into his home.
00:37:27.020 And then me and his stepfather became friends.
00:37:30.420 And he's still a really good friend of mine today.
00:37:33.700 And I value him.
00:37:35.320 You know, I mean, I love him.
00:37:37.200 You know, he took care of me for years, man.
00:37:40.120 And showed me, you know, even though I wasn't ready to take a lot of his advice and guidance, he was an example.
00:37:47.760 And that's one thing that was really special to me and still is.
00:37:51.920 Another man, an older man one time, told me, my basketball coach told me to get my college diploma.
00:37:58.580 He was the only man that ever said that to me outright.
00:38:01.580 And that stuck with me.
00:38:03.100 And he said, the reason you got to get it is because they can never take it away from you.
00:38:08.020 That's what he said.
00:38:09.460 And it was just a man who said that to me.
00:38:11.760 But it stuck with me.
00:38:12.740 So I would get inspiration from some of the strangest of places, man.
00:38:18.420 And, you know, and that's the thing.
00:38:20.280 I think when you are young, if you don't have a father figure, you'll pull it out of anywhere.
00:38:24.520 It can be a movie.
00:38:25.680 It can be a song lyric.
00:38:27.860 It can be a dream, you know, but you are really just thirsty for that guidance or whatever you think a father would give you.
00:38:40.120 And so you covet it and you'll chase it down anywhere in any male authority figures.
00:38:46.240 Or I did, anyway.
00:38:47.400 If a man showed interest in me, even though I was still like a corny kid and I was, you know, full of ego and thought I was cool and stuff or pretended like I thought I was cool, I still probably really valued the fact that somebody cared about me, you know.
00:39:09.880 So I would just get it here and there, man.
00:39:11.400 I'd get it door to door almost if I had to.
00:39:13.400 Let's get one more question here, man, then we're going to pop off because I'm tired and I'll get into some other good stuff and try to honor my commitments to you guys.
00:39:24.780 Thank you guys so much for your support.
00:39:27.260 Here we go.
00:39:28.360 What's up, Theo?
00:39:29.300 Hey, man, this is Luke.
00:39:30.820 I just wanted to encourage you to continue to work on trying to start a family, man.
00:39:38.340 I think you're a great person.
00:39:39.700 You're a good human being.
00:39:40.980 You have a great heart.
00:39:41.940 And I don't think there's any reason on the planet that you should feel like any type of apprehension or afraid to do it, man, because I'll tell you what, I was 25.
00:39:53.800 Well, thanks for the nice words, man.
00:39:55.260 I appreciate you saying some of those things, Luke.
00:39:59.760 I appreciate that, man.
00:40:01.000 It's nice of you to say.
00:40:01.940 Onward.
00:40:02.300 About three years ago, and I met a girl who had a daughter, and that little girl's dad had left her and didn't want to be a part of her life.
00:40:12.580 And now, you know, I'm her dad, and she's seven years old now and thriving and living a beautiful life, man.
00:40:19.840 But, you know, I wanted to give you this advice, Theo.
00:40:23.480 The commitment you make, it's not a hundred-year commitment, Theo.
00:40:28.320 You just make a commitment, a new commitment, one day at a time.
00:40:31.440 And so every morning I wake up, I commit to be the best dad I can be.
00:40:35.800 I commit to be the best boyfriend I can be.
00:40:38.320 And that's all you can do, man.
00:40:39.660 Don't look at it as a 50-year race because that'll overwhelm you, man.
00:40:43.640 Just take it a day at a time, Theo.
00:40:45.300 And I thank you for this podcast, man.
00:40:47.320 I love it.
00:40:47.960 It encourages me to be a better person.
00:40:50.700 And God bless you, Theo.
00:40:52.340 Thank you, man.
00:40:52.920 Thanks, man.
00:40:53.560 I didn't mean to cut you off there, but I really do appreciate the nice words, dude.
00:40:59.260 You know, that's a great way to think about it, you know.
00:41:05.040 Because, yeah, if I think of something in a big chunk, I can't handle it.
00:41:09.040 You know, it's the same way that I deal with staying in sobriety.
00:41:12.080 So it's interesting that you say that.
00:41:15.520 That if I try to think, oh, I'm going to stay sober forever, or I'm not going to have another beer,
00:41:20.820 or I can't handle it, that's really tough to stomach.
00:41:24.680 But if I just think, okay, today, I'm not drinking today, or I'm not going to party today,
00:41:31.120 then that's easier to handle, you know.
00:41:36.780 So that's really great.
00:41:38.000 That's great advice that you're offering to me, man.
00:41:42.000 And I appreciate that.
00:41:43.440 And I appreciate it.
00:41:44.420 I do get some good calls where you guys are offering me guidance and thoughts and advice.
00:41:48.300 And I really appreciate it.
00:41:49.440 And, you know, it makes me feel good that you care.
00:41:52.820 Because I care, man. 0.99
00:41:54.420 You know, we're out here fucking fighting, dude. 0.96
00:41:56.400 Like, it is, for me, it is hard to be a man, dude. 0.98
00:42:01.100 It's hard. 0.96
00:42:02.460 Because I want to fucking still be a boy. 0.99
00:42:05.120 I want to still screw around. 0.99
00:42:06.920 And there's an environment and a society that caters to that. 0.99
00:42:10.800 It's like, oh, yeah, be a, you know, sex is everywhere. 0.83
00:42:14.560 And this is party and this and that.
00:42:16.980 And you can do it all.
00:42:18.320 But you can't, you know.
00:42:20.720 You can't do it all.
00:42:21.780 Certain ages you can and certain times in your life.
00:42:24.800 But if you're ready to, if you're trying to grow up and move on or evolve, then you can't.
00:42:31.580 You know, and it's tough, dude.
00:42:34.120 It is tough.
00:42:35.100 It's tough to, you know, to not want to just be a kid forever.
00:42:40.200 And it's tough to realize you might have the confidence to be a parent to somebody when you still don't know if you've been parented enough as a human.
00:42:49.160 You know, if I still don't know if I've found enough father figures, you know, to get back to that previous call.
00:42:54.700 I don't know if I've still, you know, it's tough to decide when you feel like you're, you're the child that you were and whatever damages were there have been healed or taken care of so that you can evolve and move past that.
00:43:12.840 So I think that's some of my issues sometimes.
00:43:14.940 Luke, to get back to your call.
00:43:18.740 I believe it was Luke.
00:43:19.900 Let me check and see here.
00:43:22.080 Hey, man, this is Luke.
00:43:24.060 Yeah.
00:43:24.780 Yeah.
00:43:25.320 If, you know, it's tough.
00:43:28.640 It's just tough sometimes, dude.
00:43:30.160 But I appreciate that, man.
00:43:31.060 I appreciate that vote of confidence.
00:43:32.560 And that's a good way to look at it.
00:43:34.020 And that's a good way to look at any addiction or any concern.
00:43:37.220 Like, I don't have to do this for 50 years.
00:43:40.480 I just have to do it for today.
00:43:42.600 So I'm going to leave us with that, man.
00:43:44.360 That's a great thought, you know, that if you're worried about something, you know, if you think, oh, I'm never going to talk to my girlfriend again or I'm never, or my ex-girlfriend, or I'm never going to be able to stop drinking or stop smoking, it's too big of a task.
00:43:59.960 You know, our brains will do that sometimes.
00:44:01.660 They'll make the task so big, so unimaginably big, you know.
00:44:07.260 But it's not true.
00:44:09.720 You know, we just don't, we just, it's just today.
00:44:12.000 Just today, you don't have to do it for.
00:44:14.360 So I'm sharing Luke's words there.
00:44:16.080 And you know what's funny is, man, I wish there were times in my life when if I'd have had a father figure that had come along and told me some of those things, things like that, simple things.
00:44:26.980 I think I wouldn't have spent years, years, maybe even decade, spinning my wheels, not being able to figure out, not being able to figure out things or get past things because I didn't have good advice.
00:44:40.340 But I would gravitate to it wherever I could get it.
00:44:44.360 And I think that's what we're all doing these days. 0.97
00:44:48.340 If you're a young man trying to evolve us, what I'm trying to fucking do, dude. 0.99
00:44:51.960 You know, I'm having to deal with these rap scallions out here trying to use the grill at a damn residence inn. 1.00
00:44:56.160 And I can barely keep my shit together. 0.99
00:44:59.280 But I'm hopeful. 0.97
00:45:00.700 I'm hopeful, man.
00:45:01.860 I want to thank everybody in Sacramento for coming out.
00:45:04.120 I'm going to sign off for tonight, man.
00:45:06.040 And I'm going to try to honor my commitments to you guys, dude.
00:45:10.860 And I appreciate you guys being supportive and hitting the hotline.
00:45:14.420 I'll see you guys next Sunday night.
00:45:17.980 And I'll see you guys in Phoenix in person in two weeks.
00:45:22.260 You guys be good to yourselves, man.
00:45:24.020 Try that.
00:45:25.160 I'm going to try it, you know.
00:45:27.400 I'm going to try and take some of you guys' wisdom this week.
00:45:32.060 So thank you very much.
00:45:33.720 I'll talk to you later on, man.
00:45:35.040 And let's get out of here with a little bit of, this is called, Green Sleeves Epidemic Sound.
00:45:47.780 That's a little romancer right there.
00:45:52.320 That is a little romancer, boy.
00:46:00.280 Yeah, it's tough to decide, you know, when you've got to be.
00:46:05.040 You know, it's tough to decide when you've got to be a leader and when you've just got to listen and be a learner.
00:46:13.600 My first thought all the time is to try and be a leader.
00:46:18.320 But really, if I had to go back in time, I'd have been better off just being a learner a lot of times.
00:46:24.300 I'd have been a better, I'd have been much better off doing it like that.
00:46:30.400 But I didn't know.
00:46:31.320 Sometimes you don't, you lead because you don't know what else to do.
00:46:33.980 You lead out of survival, you know.
00:46:35.840 But hopefully we get to a place in our lives where we can take that breath and let go of the, and just be patient with ourselves and let go of the controls.
00:46:47.760 And, um, and learn a little bit, you know.
00:46:52.800 And we learn from each other.
00:46:55.040 So, that's what I'm trying to do, man.
00:46:57.180 You guys be good to yourselves, man.
00:46:58.580 Take care of yourself.
00:47:02.940 You know, be good to yourself.
00:47:05.160 You probably deserve it.
00:47:06.180 I'll talk to y'all later.
00:47:06.940 Have a good one.
00:47:13.360 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
00:47:24.720 The answer may shock you.
00:47:26.440 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
00:47:28.580 Sometimes I won't.
00:47:30.180 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
00:47:33.120 You have three new voice messages.
00:47:35.700 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
00:47:39.040 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.
00:47:41.720 Longer than anybody else.
00:47:43.380 So great.
00:47:44.720 Aye, swee-ah. 0.89
00:47:46.360 Easy deal. 1.00
00:47:47.640 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00
00:47:51.640 Jermaine. 1.00
00:47:52.900 Ho-ho! 1.00
00:47:53.700 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
00:47:56.700 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
00:47:58.780 Ho-ho-ho! 1.00
00:48:00.040 No!
00:48:01.020 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
00:48:03.320 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
00:48:07.660 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
00:48:11.880 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
00:48:17.680 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.
00:48:20.760 And yes, don't worry.