This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #593

00:00:00.000 We're getting into the final shows for the return of the rat tour. Gosh, this rat is

00:00:05.340 almost fully returned. July 9th, we'll be in Philadelphia, Rochester, New York on July 10th.

00:00:14.780 Then we're in Detroit after that. Moving on, we're in Los Angeles, Anaheim at the Honda Center in

00:00:21.480 Oceanside, California. You can get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. And just

00:00:30.560 thank you so much for your support. Today's guest is a musician out of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Baby,

00:00:37.100 out the boot. He crosses many genres like rap, R&B, soul. He does it all. This doll, he a 101.

00:00:46.160 He a 101. He's got a new album on the way, Luca Brasi 4. And he's heading out on a huge tour

00:00:54.300 this October. I'm grateful to sit down with my Louisiana amigo, Mr. Kevin Gates.

00:01:03.200 It has tough, man. Yeah, I got this from, uh, I collect these kind of hits. I bought two of them

00:01:27.140 this time because I put dents in them. Really? Every time I travel. What, just traveling, setting

00:01:34.680 it somewhere? Yeah, and they get smushed every time. Yeah. Yeah, a hat is kind of hard to take

00:01:39.320 care of. That's the only thing I don't love about a hat. Like, if I'm on a plane, I'll put it, and

00:01:42.940 then I'll take a nap. It'll fall off the seat or something. Every time. Yeah, you look sharp, man.

00:01:48.660 Thank you. Recently, I started feeling in my own life, man, I wish that I dressed up a little bit

00:01:54.060 more. I just wish that. It's like, how you do anything is how you do everything. So, I'm like,

00:02:01.220 I prepare to, for something great to happen. Every time I leave the house, I prepare for something

00:02:06.860 great to happen. Like, even when I go to the gym, I prepare for something great to happen.

00:02:12.340 Yeah, that's an energy. I think, I just started thinking that. Like, yeah, I want to, I want to just,

00:02:16.780 because then I want to be excited about how I even look, you know? Like, I never. I mean,

00:02:22.000 I only got, well, I got multiple suits, but I only got like four colors that I wear. I got a gray

00:02:30.180 suit. Got like three or four of them. Got like three or four black suits. Got like three or four

00:02:36.340 navy suits. And I got like three or four, they like different shades. So, I say like a tan and a darker tan.

00:02:45.280 You like them?

00:02:45.960 Yeah, I just love suits. I love them. They look fly.

00:02:50.420 You've always been pretty stylish. Actually, I remember you and I went to a Super Bowl together. I don't know

00:02:54.140 if you remember it or not.

00:02:55.000 Yeah, that's when I had the turtleneck on with the slacks.

00:02:57.480 Yeah, that's when I realized I was like, oh, Kevin's doing something different. Because you hear rumors

00:03:01.780 about Kevin. You hear people like, Kevin, you know, Kevin out there.

00:03:04.960 I'm like Bigfoot.

00:03:05.760 Yeah, he's staring at the moon. Kevin out there. He, you know, he hiding in the tree branches and stuff.

00:03:11.400 You hear a lot of rumors like that, you know, like shoot my bow and arrow. Yeah, he's out there.

00:03:16.100 He babysitting bats or something. Oh, excuse me. Shout out to Mike at Cabela's.

00:03:21.440 He's your guy? Yeah, he the one who, he dialed my bow and arrow in for me.

00:03:26.800 Like dialed it in, like set the sights on it for me.

00:03:29.140 I haven't used one. But yeah, you hear everything about that. Kevin Gates, he's out there.

00:03:33.160 He breastfeeding pelicans and stuff like that. You hear a lot of the mystery, right?

00:03:37.140 The lore. And I love the lore because it makes things really, it's like advertising without you

00:03:43.840 really doing anything in a way except being yourself. But I remember we were on a, like a limo bus.

00:03:49.920 They were taking us to the Super Bowl. Everybody's on their phones or something like that.

00:03:53.580 Kevin just sitting there just, look, you look like the happiest guy in the thing.

00:03:58.500 It's this thing I do called breath work. And I think I said it one time in another interview,

00:04:05.380 but like I'm super into like Navy SEALs and shit. I like watch.

00:04:11.480 Don't, don't, don't think I'm weird, but I am. Oh yeah. I just sit there and watch like videos

00:04:17.620 or like the training that they do. And I watch people take the Navy SEAL test and fail and then

00:04:22.560 try to come back and do it. And I just watch that shit. And I'll be watching like David Goggins and,

00:04:27.340 and shit like that. And it's like, you know, the first thing they teach them how to do is breathe.

00:04:32.800 Hmm. So that's why I'd be doing the box breathing and it really helped with anxiety.

00:04:38.080 Explain it to me. You, you inhale for four seconds. It's like you pretend like you're

00:04:44.080 looking at a box. You inhale for four seconds, you hold it, you exhale for four seconds,

00:04:49.780 and then you hold it and it keep you super calm. Hmm. And does it get a little scary at certain

00:04:56.060 points or hard to remember? I guess you just get used to the pattern. If it, if it, if you ever get

00:05:00.760 off, you just reconnect to your breath because you're going to talk, you're going to interrupt

00:05:05.300 yourself, but then you reconnect to your breath and it keep you calm. Like no anxiety. Yeah.

00:05:11.180 Oh yeah. I get, I get rattled pretty easy. And I'm an overthinker. Like, especially if I'm

00:05:16.640 about to go somewhere, like I put unrealistic expectations on myself about the outcome.

00:05:24.140 Yeah. And we say that we, and I might say that I'm going in there with a positive attitude,

00:05:29.060 but. Oh, I want to know everything. I want to know how it's going to go. I want to be

00:05:33.960 able to like, make sure I'm okay. No matter what's going on. I knew this shit was going

00:05:37.760 to be cool. Cause I was already around you at the Superbowl. I was like, man, that dude

00:05:41.200 crazy. Oh, I don't think anybody could out crazy at this point. You lost everybody, man.

00:05:49.020 It's going to be a little hot. Do we have any ice? We don't have any. I don't need no

00:05:56.000 ice. I'm good. Okay. I'd like, I was kind of nervous to talk to you cause I've known of

00:06:00.860 you, you know, I'm from Louisiana. So I known about you, like even growing up, I remember

00:06:05.780 the first time I ever heard about you. Some of this girl I was talking to from Boga

00:06:08.560 loose. It was like, have you heard of Kevin Gates? And I thought it was a subdivision and

00:06:13.560 it is. It is really? No. Oh damn. I didn't know. It is now. Kevin Gates. Damn. I said,

00:06:20.760 I don't know. I don't know. You know, I got a friend that lives in Meadowbrook or whatever,

00:06:24.960 but I've never been over there. And she's like, no, you have to hear some of what this

00:06:28.620 guy's doing. And it was intense. It reminded, the first time I listened to your music, it

00:06:33.640 reminded me the first time I saw UFC, I was like, some of this stuff is a little too hard

00:06:38.840 for me, you know, cause it's, you, your stuff is very, it's not all of it, but some of it's

00:06:43.780 a great, it's graphic. It is real. It's very, really, it's really raw. That's my perception

00:06:48.060 of it. Um, but so that's how I got introduced to you. Obviously it was just from being in

00:06:52.340 Louisiana. Um, do you miss those days in Louisiana coming up? What was that like for you just kind

00:06:57.080 of coming up when you look back on it now? I'm grateful for Louisiana cause it made me

00:07:02.000 everything that I am right now. And the things that we cherish, other people don't really

00:07:08.660 cherish when you go other places. And then with us having that Southern hospitality, they're

00:07:13.360 like, yes, sir. No, sir. Don't call me that. You make me feel old when you go other places.

00:07:17.400 But we used to catch whoopings for not saying yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, ma'am. No, ma'am.

00:07:22.720 Yeah. You know, I'd have been beat with extension cords and whatever they could find.

00:07:27.780 Yeah. Oh yeah. Go get a branch off the tree.

00:07:30.360 Go get something. Oh, dude. My mother would beat me with my younger siblings. She would,

00:07:34.520 I'm like, God damn, both of us getting it. Grabbed by the ankle. Yeah. I'm like, damn,

00:07:38.540 what? Um, what would, what was someone like, did you ever, did you get to work with other

00:07:43.920 artists? I know people ask you that kind of stuff all the time, but growing up, like

00:07:46.220 when I was coming up, they had like, uh, Mr. P, uh, Master P, Mystical.

00:07:52.380 Me and Master P did a song together and I done done, I done work with Wayne. We talking

00:07:58.320 about only Louisiana. Yeah. I'm just talking about kind of

00:08:00.340 that, that time. I done work with Lil Wayne. I done work with Master P. Um, if you want

00:08:06.520 to go currently, I done work with Fredo Bang, NBA, Young Boy, Tech. Um. Oh yeah. I heard

00:08:12.820 that song you got with Young Boy. I just heard it the other day.

00:08:16.180 I don't know who you say I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They had, I'm trying

00:08:23.360 to think. Oh, Partners in Crime. Remember them? Yeah. It's that new Mr. Mina with that

00:08:27.300 pop. I can't go. Dude, they had Partners in Crime. UNLV. Oh, was that UNLV? Pump the

00:08:31.420 Pump the Party. UNLV. They had, um, I'm trying to think of who else we love. Oh, Mystical was

00:08:37.120 the best. Mystical was great, bro. I like that bitch. I'm on that bootcamp flick. Yeah.

00:08:41.500 Ninja. Yeah. I like that. Keep bumping me again. He kind of had his own thing and he

00:08:45.220 had those horns in it. Yeah. And we going that way. I like Fiend, Mr. Magic. I liked

00:08:50.040 all, I liked everything that was coming out. Oh. You gotta say Soldier Slim. Oh yeah.

00:08:56.160 You gotta say Soldier Slim. I didn't, I don't, somebody didn't put me onto a lot of Soldier

00:09:00.200 Slim. You gotta say Stone and Leck. You gotta say the D-Boys. You gotta say all of them.

00:09:04.340 I think some of that I didn't get put on then. Yeah. But I loved, dude, that was a special

00:09:09.280 time I felt like in Louisiana because every, there was so many eyes were focused on it.

00:09:14.320 They had like just so much sound coming out of there. Still do. Yeah. Like the sound

00:09:18.980 different. Oh yeah. Well, things have changed so much, but at that time I just felt like,

00:09:25.040 I don't know, there was something really spectacular about it at that time. We still got our own

00:09:29.380 signature song. Louisiana, like that's where the flavor is. Oh yeah. You get a, you get a container

00:09:35.920 of juice and you sit in on the table. The flavor falls to the bottom. You have to shake it up for

00:09:41.280 the flavor to go to the top. Yeah. The flavor always stay on the bottom. Yeah. The bottom of the map.

00:09:47.540 That's it. The bottom of the map, man. The bottom of the boot. Yeah, dude. I love that time. That was a

00:09:54.000 special time growing up, man. What was the styles that y'all had? And Arte and Arte, because in

00:09:58.520 Covington, we had like Jabot jeans, polo with the big horse. Remember people wear that sometimes?

00:10:03.960 He'll figure. I went polo crazy. I went polo crazy. Yeah, I could see that. I went polo crazy. I could

00:10:08.420 see that. Dead caps, collars, Jabot, Jabot's. I did Air Force Ones, but my thing was the Adidas Stan

00:10:16.040 Smiths. Oh yeah. I did the Adidas Stan Smiths. I almost wore those today. All day I dream about

00:10:21.860 stacks. Yeah. Dude, it was some, that was a great time, bro. I mean, it's all times are great,

00:10:27.300 but that was a special time. It's just something you and I can, you know, we both have a little

00:10:30.420 bit of similarity of that. Yeah. I was born in 86, so. Yeah. You're younger than me. What

00:10:35.220 would, did you ever get to see Mystical around the way or no? I seen him a few times when

00:10:39.600 he was out of prison, but I haven't seen him since then. Yeah. Yeah. I'm trying to think.

00:10:44.220 I remember we go to the rec center over at BR, uh, Baton Rouge. By LSU? Yep. And, uh,

00:10:49.460 Master P and his, they would be in there playing ball, uh, with like silk. Not, I don't know if

00:10:54.940 he murdered, might've been in and out of there, but they definitely had silk was in there. Yeah.

00:10:58.360 Silk stay out here long. Does he? Yeah. I be seeing him at 24, 24 hour fitness. Let's go.

00:11:04.220 Every now and then when I used to go there. Yeah. To see him in that hoop and still hooping. Yeah.

00:11:10.000 That was a special time though, man. That was a big like explosion for, I felt like, uh, for

00:11:14.600 Louisiana rap. Um, when you think of like, I know you, there was a lot of hustling and stuff when you

00:11:20.620 grew up, what do you, what was it like? Like the hustle? Like when people say I had to hustle a lot

00:11:25.000 when I was young, like, what does that mean exactly? Hustle? Yeah. I know what it means.

00:11:29.800 Like you have to grind. You got to stay busy. You got to figure things out. You got to be locked in

00:11:33.660 and you got to be focused. Whatever your hustle is, you got to give it 110%. Cause being from

00:11:38.920 Louisiana ain't really nothing to do, but go to jail. Yeah. So whatever it is that you focus on,

00:11:44.400 you got to be locked in. Like juvenile say, we snatched out the holes and bowls and retenters.

00:11:50.120 We didn't give a fuck. We bowed for three minutes. I might've said it backwards.

00:11:56.580 That's a, we'll, we can edit it into the correct format. Um, what was your, what was some of your

00:12:03.020 hustles as a youngster? What kind of hustle did you have to do personally?

00:12:06.260 I started off watching calls. Yeah. What just like in the yard, you to put up a sign or you get

00:12:11.160 like a, uh, I started off working at, um, they got a, they got a car wash on courses and that was

00:12:17.820 my first job washing calls with it. Like they had an inside and outside. Yeah. Inside and outside.

00:12:24.540 I started on a vacuum. Yeah. And then I started being like, once it come through the washer,

00:12:29.420 you dry it off. And that's how I learned how to get the fender well, get the fender wells and the

00:12:34.140 door jams last. Oh yeah. Why? Because that's where all the dirt is. So if you drying the car,

00:12:39.440 you got to try to buy that other car first, then you go back and get the, you go back and

00:12:43.880 get the door jams and the fender wells last. That's where all the dirt is. Cause otherwise

00:12:47.560 you're going to get the rag dirty and put it everywhere. You're going to put dirt on it.

00:12:50.260 Yeah. Yeah. And then even when you, and then even when you wipe the rims, you hold the

00:12:55.600 towel and wipe the rims. You spray the, you spray the tie off, but you hold the towel and wipe

00:13:01.280 the rims on the inside, clean them real good. Yeah. And the best thing to clean windows,

00:13:05.880 I mean, the white windows with his newspaper. Oh yeah. No streaks. Yeah. Why was that?

00:13:10.920 I wonder. I don't know. I know it don't leave no streaks, make it look good. Yeah. That

00:13:14.920 was nice. Dude. Yeah. When I was growing up, washing your car was one of the, it was one

00:13:18.960 of the best things you could do. Of course. Cause you lead that thing felt beautiful, boy.

00:13:24.300 That was your, that was your, that was your office. Yeah. That was your office. That was

00:13:28.940 your escape. Ain't nothing like a little late night ride. Yeah. Waffle house. Yeah.

00:13:33.960 Dude. I remember exactly. If I lit, if I lit a cigarette at this one point, right when

00:13:40.040 I take off out of work, it would get me all the way home. I pull up right into the driveway

00:13:44.660 when that cigarette was done. It was like this perfect kind of like kind of seance that

00:13:49.020 I had in my life. I love that. That was your first call. My first call was an 84 Ford Escort.

00:13:54.720 That bitch was chill, but somebody first calls a Nissan central. Yeah. Really? What year

00:13:59.180 was it? I don't know. The old, the old, old one. Pull one up. Just pull up a, pull

00:14:06.180 up a. The tan one. Pull up a, pull up a 1990. Let's see what they got. Let's see if we close

00:14:13.380 on it. That Nissan. Nah, that was a little newer than that. Nuh-uh. Yeah. That's a little

00:14:18.120 too old. Pull up a, uh. Pull up a 2001. That's it right there. Oh yeah. That bitch

00:14:25.780 tasted, boy. Yeah. And so, so your first hustle was car washing. Did you get into stuff in the

00:14:32.740 streets? Did you get into stuff that was kind of illegal type of stuff or no? Yeah, a little

00:14:36.540 bit. Yeah. Not nothing major, but a little bit. I did a little something. Yeah. Was it,

00:14:41.900 does it feel like if you grow up in certain areas that you have to do that? You gonna want

00:14:47.400 to. Them the only people getting money. Right. That's who the girls like. Yeah. Oh yeah.

00:14:55.700 The girls like somebody got a little bit of cash. Like, I remember telling, uh, Gilly and

00:15:00.740 Walo, I was like, man, when I was young, I remember all I wanted was a car, some money,

00:15:06.460 a girlfriend, and a gun. Yeah. Cause that's all you see. Oh yeah. Yeah. I gotta pull out a

00:15:12.940 bankroll. That was just, you know. Just to show it all. Then they start, they

00:15:17.380 start calling it Rex. Yeah. Yeah. Rex. We will stay one from stacks to Rex. Yeah.

00:15:25.700 I think the name, do you think like, like over the years you hear like things have

00:15:29.740 changed, like the hood, the block, uh, the trenches, the mud, like it all, there's

00:15:35.640 always kind of this evolution of the name. I feel like. Man, we always, I call it

00:15:40.480 the section. Yeah. They from the section. They from our section. Yeah. Are they from

00:15:45.800 out the section? Yeah. Like if somebody, if, if you from my section or you from my

00:15:51.440 area where I'm at, at the time that I'm like, Oh yeah, he from out the section.

00:15:55.880 Right. Or I'm gonna ask him like, or say I'm just coming home from jail and I see

00:15:59.700 new faces. I'm like, who are they from out the section? Yeah. That's such and such

00:16:03.480 people. That's such and such people. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Do you feel

00:16:07.800 like, do you have to live in fear? Like in, like in the section, do you feel like in a

00:16:11.440 black area? Do you have to live in fear? Did it feel like? No. Cause it's anything

00:16:16.660 that you do every day is going to feel regular to you. You know, anything that

00:16:21.320 is new to you, say if it's new, if it's new, you're going to be a little apprehensive.

00:16:27.840 You know what I'm saying? So you're going to have to sit back, scope it out and then

00:16:30.620 you fall in, you know, you in the mix and all. But if you grew up in them type of

00:16:35.540 environments, it ain't going to feel like somewhat dangerous. It's going to feel like

00:16:38.760 home. Oh yeah. So whatever go on, it just went on. Right. You don't know any

00:16:44.780 different. But from the outside looking in, it's like, Oh God, it's so horrible

00:16:48.720 there. But when you in it, it's like, man, that's my people. This is my auntie.

00:16:53.540 This is my cousin. This, you know, this is the culture. Yeah. It's like. Right. A

00:16:59.400 fist don't know it's in water really. It's family. Yeah. Do you think, cause you

00:17:03.880 always hear over the years, you hear like, we got to change these areas, right? You

00:17:06.940 hear like you'll have people, we got to make things safer. We got to change

00:17:10.320 these areas. Um, do you think that the people actually in those communities, do

00:17:16.260 you think they really want those communities to change or that is.

00:17:19.600 If given the opportunity. Does the question make any sense to you or no? It

00:17:22.520 make a lot. Okay. If given the opportunity, anybody would do better. Right.

00:17:27.260 People do a man. Uh, yeah, this is a wise quote. A man is what he know, not what

00:17:34.280 he's told. And I'll say it in like a vernacular. Okay. A man is what he knows

00:17:39.940 and not what he's told. You are what you know, not what you told. You are what you

00:17:45.320 do, not what you say you will do. So I could sit around and somebody could tell

00:17:49.320 me, man, you know what? You should change and you should do this. And there's so

00:17:52.600 many other opportunities. But if I never been exposed to these opportunities, all I

00:17:57.080 know is what I know. Right. And that's like, that's what recidivism. That's

00:18:01.440 people that can repeat offenders, habitual offenders, because it's recidivism

00:18:06.440 because they don't know anything but what they know. And I was like that. I was

00:18:10.000 locked in, focused on one thing till I started experiencing other things. I

00:18:15.200 broadened my horizon. I opened my mind. Yeah. Oh, I've watched a lot of, uh,

00:18:20.040 interviews with you, man. And a lot of it's been really fascinating, man. I feel

00:18:23.260 really thankful that you're here today to spend time. I just took a, uh. What,

00:18:27.220 Ambien? I just, I just read about a, um, I just read about Laguna Beach. Like,

00:18:34.380 this was in 2000 and maybe 10 or 11 because I read a lot of like vampire novels

00:18:42.780 and all of that. Oh, damn, bro. Yeah. Like, I'm a, I read a lot. I'm a

00:18:46.440 record of readers. So it's, this was like way in 2000, maybe 10 or 11 that I read a

00:18:52.160 book. When I was reading the book, they was talking about going to Laguna Beach.

00:18:56.120 Last weekend, I just took my son to Laguna Beach for his birthday. So it was

00:18:59.980 like a, kind of like a bucket list, not a bucket list, but I was like, it'll be

00:19:05.260 cool to go there. Like, even like with Palm Springs, I read about Palm Springs

00:19:09.020 before and I just passed through Palm Springs.

00:19:11.160 And they had vampires that were there?

00:19:12.980 And, uh, Rochelle Meade got this vampire academy and one of the schools that they

00:19:17.820 went to was in Palm Springs.

00:19:19.420 Damn, boy. They some part of older gay vampires probably.

00:19:22.900 I don't know, but it was so crazy that you say that. It's because when you're

00:19:28.400 given the opportunity to do better, you will. If you're never given that

00:19:32.980 opportunity, you're not going to do better. We could say, yeah, you just got to

00:19:36.000 overcome and stay focused and lock in. I think me, well, the beautiful thing about

00:19:41.300 Kevin Gates is, I have a very adventurous spirit and I'm going to try

00:19:45.540 something. Like, I, I love to try new things because it's how you create new

00:19:50.060 neural paths. Like, even if you, even if you did it and you didn't like it, you

00:19:54.860 still had the experience.

00:19:56.220 Yeah.

00:19:56.340 So you created like new neural paths because if you do the same thing every

00:20:00.300 day, you become stagnant in the mind. You just, you become a robot.

00:20:04.660 You become a cul-de-sac to your own cul-de-sac.

00:20:06.640 Yeah. Like that's, like, that's my biggest fear is being complacent. I don't ever want to

00:20:11.160 get stuck. So I did that. I went to the beach and it was like, it unlocked a few

00:20:15.420 things for me. It was like, we just took a road trip. It wasn't nothing but like

00:20:19.420 two hours, but we did it.

00:20:21.460 We did it.

00:20:22.080 Yeah. We did something different.

00:20:23.160 We did something different.

00:20:24.560 Yeah. Cause I wonder sometimes like, cause you always like, you know, like a lot of

00:20:28.520 neighborhoods, especially if it's like impoverished neighborhoods, you know, they

00:20:31.420 say that type of thing.

00:20:32.820 Predominantly black.

00:20:33.660 And predominantly black neighborhoods. It's like, it's also those neighborhoods that give a

00:20:38.660 lot of the culture is flavor and give it its story. Right. Or some of its story. Right.

00:20:44.200 People say like, I came out of this, I came through this. Right. So sometimes I just wonder

00:20:48.400 like,

00:20:48.840 it's a, it's a bliss. It's the people that are blessed. I say that because you're looking at

00:20:55.440 people that grew up in hardship and the roughest conditions ever, but we made the best of what

00:21:01.780 we had and we didn't even know we was poor until we saw rich people. Yeah. It's like when

00:21:06.700 you go to other countries, third world countries, they don't even know they poor until they see

00:21:10.580 people with more than what they have. Yeah. Like I was telling somebody one time, we just

00:21:14.400 wanted a car. And then once we saw the Bentley, we wanted the Bentley and then we wanted this

00:21:19.600 and we wanted that because we saw it. But to answer your question about the people that

00:21:24.300 come through that, I believe it's a rite of passage. It's like, it's like a, it's like

00:21:31.060 the movie Leonidas when the boy went off into the wilderness and he came back a man. Like

00:21:37.900 we don't have no father figures or none of that in the house. We come from mostly single

00:21:42.820 mother. Your mom had work, your grandmother raised you, things of that nature. And we had

00:21:49.180 to go out there and just find our way. So it was like a rite of passage. And the beautiful

00:21:54.300 thing about me is I had beautiful people in my life that kind of helped guide me and lead

00:21:59.280 me and steer me in the right direction. Yeah. I made mistakes. I bumped my head and I appreciate

00:22:04.860 every one of them because they made me this. But to answer that question, I look at it more

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00:24:54.520 admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com. Thank you.

00:25:01.960 But a lot of times when we'd be having like, our body just really needs salt.

00:25:07.240 Yeah.

00:25:07.740 We'd be dehydrated.

00:25:09.320 You know, I noticed that happens more often. I feel like when I was a kid, you didn't hear anybody talk about dehydration.

00:25:13.560 And now I feel like people talk about it every day.

00:25:15.460 Because we ate salt. We cooked with seasoning. Louisiana seasoning.

00:25:20.620 That's a good point. People ask.

00:25:22.060 You don't hear people down there talking about you dehydrated.

00:25:25.560 You eat a pickle.

00:25:27.000 Fuck. Country boy can survive.

00:25:29.620 Yeah, bro. That was it.

00:25:31.120 Country boy can survive.

00:25:32.740 That's a good point. Everybody had gout, too. Everybody had sugar pressure, gout, salt pressure, everything.

00:25:38.680 Country boy can survive.

00:25:40.300 Everything. That was it.

00:25:42.080 You were practicing Muslim?

00:25:45.800 Yeah, I'm a Muslim.

00:25:47.080 Nice. Nice to see you today.

00:25:49.560 Oh, like, you talking about what I got on?

00:25:51.540 No, I think you...

00:25:52.160 Oh, no, this ain't got shit.

00:25:53.500 No, it doesn't look like that.

00:25:54.500 I'm not that kind of punk.

00:25:55.780 No, I don't know.

00:25:59.580 Oh, man.

00:26:00.500 No, because I got the bullseye.

00:26:06.420 Oh, you thought that was part of the...

00:26:09.820 Oh, man.

00:26:14.880 My man.

00:26:15.800 I'm so not sorry.

00:26:16.960 Please forgive me.

00:26:17.880 No, I didn't know what you mean because you thought...

00:26:20.740 Because I thought the bow tie?

00:26:21.660 No, I...

00:26:22.760 Because the irony...

00:26:25.420 It's ironic that I got the bow tie on.

00:26:28.120 I'm not that kind, but I'm...

00:26:32.120 Like Dave Chappelle said, I'm not good at it, but, you know, I do the best I can, you know?

00:26:39.680 No, I didn't know.

00:26:40.820 I thought, no, I feel like, nuh-uh.

00:26:43.200 Yeah, I didn't know what I thought.

00:26:44.580 I just felt like, dang, Kevin.

00:26:46.580 Yeah, I thought you just seemed like a...

00:26:48.620 It's okay.

00:26:49.640 Okay.

00:26:50.340 It's okay.

00:26:51.980 Dang, that's hilarious.

00:26:52.880 It was just funny because I had to...

00:26:55.060 That's one thing I...

00:26:56.100 Like, I possessed the ability to laugh at myself.

00:27:00.600 And once I developed the ability to laugh at myself, life became so much more easier.

00:27:06.180 Let's talk about that.

00:27:07.260 If I slip and fall...

00:27:08.540 Yeah.

00:27:09.100 Like, every time we step outside, we're being judged.

00:27:13.720 You know, if you went to school and you had to...

00:27:17.520 Oh, God, I got to say it.

00:27:19.520 I got to...

00:27:19.940 Not to get off surgery.

00:27:21.320 I used to hate free dress day at school.

00:27:24.800 Uniform saved my life.

00:27:26.140 Really?

00:27:26.660 Yeah.

00:27:28.080 But...

00:27:28.360 Why, you couldn't handle it?

00:27:30.360 I didn't have no clothes.

00:27:31.820 Oh, damn.

00:27:33.640 Yeah.

00:27:34.220 You just wore the uniform again and like Kevin.

00:27:36.360 Man, for free dress day, I wore my mama...

00:27:38.660 I wore a pair of my mama jeans to build a school in an old time of year-figure shirt

00:27:44.660 and the same shoes I had been wearing to school the whole time.

00:27:47.940 Man, they teased me forever.

00:27:49.080 But then, you know how you got the faded part on the knees?

00:27:52.420 Yeah.

00:27:52.780 It was like, why are your knees white?

00:27:54.120 What, you been on your knees?

00:27:55.160 Nah, that's the style.

00:27:56.180 Oh, yeah.

00:27:56.460 Everybody got distressed denim now.

00:27:58.420 Yeah.

00:27:59.420 So, that was hard.

00:28:00.640 That was the worst.

00:28:01.740 But I said that to say this.

00:28:03.960 If you possess the ability to laugh at yourself, you never have to worry about being shamed of anything.

00:28:11.300 I've heard you talk about that before.

00:28:12.900 In fact, man, it's funny because one of the things that...

00:28:15.180 It's okay to be human.

00:28:16.480 You know what I'm saying?

00:28:17.080 Well, you know, most of my life, it was hard for me to laugh at myself.

00:28:20.760 A couple years ago, it's so funny.

00:28:22.660 A couple years ago, there was a moment that happened.

00:28:24.560 I don't remember what it was.

00:28:26.680 But I went, Theo.

00:28:30.420 I just kind of laughed at myself and said my name.

00:28:32.320 And my whole life, it had been this internal thing that had been just judging me always.

00:28:39.800 And for the first time ever.

00:28:41.520 We are our worst critics.

00:28:43.260 But I just didn't realize how infected I'd been by my own, by judgment of myself.

00:28:49.040 But we're taught that because when we come outside, we judge by our peers.

00:28:53.180 We judge by everything.

00:28:54.180 If you do this, if you do that.

00:28:55.320 Yeah.

00:28:55.720 And then it's like, you know what?

00:28:58.160 I'm going to be the best human I could be.

00:29:00.260 Yeah.

00:29:00.560 I don't care if I make mistakes.

00:29:03.840 I'm going to follow my heart.

00:29:05.220 I don't care what nobody thinks.

00:29:06.720 I swear to God, I'm going to be the best human I could be.

00:29:10.160 And something else I used to do, before I developed a greater sense of self-worth,

00:29:16.920 I would overcompensate.

00:29:19.260 And that's still a form of seeking validation.

00:29:22.080 Like, I would overextend and I would overextend myself as far as just the person I am.

00:29:29.500 Not to be liked.

00:29:31.280 I was doing this because this is what I really wanted somebody to do for me.

00:29:36.220 Yeah.

00:29:36.440 So I would overextend and just overshare and overlove and over everything.

00:29:41.520 I would do it to the most.

00:29:42.860 But this is the love that I should have been giving myself.

00:29:46.280 Bro, there'll be times I'll text this.

00:29:49.820 Over the past few years, I noticed this will happen for me.

00:29:51.860 I'll text somebody.

00:29:53.100 Hey, man, just wanted to remind you, you're a great guy.

00:29:55.720 And I'm so proud of you, right?

00:29:57.260 I wish somebody would tell me that.

00:29:59.180 And as I'm typing it to them, tears will come out of my face.

00:30:03.020 And I didn't realize, and it's a nice thing to say to them,

00:30:05.880 and a lot of times it's a person I'll have enough of a connection with

00:30:08.380 where, like, we share a lot of similar experiences so we can, you know,

00:30:11.880 we'll say that type of thing to each other.

00:30:13.860 But, man, sometimes as I'm sending that, because, really, I just, like,

00:30:17.480 that's what I always needed, right?

00:30:19.000 The dude who did my guns on my hands, my gun tattoos, his name,

00:30:25.460 Trevon Spielman, but some people call him Trevon or Trevon.

00:30:29.140 I call him just T or my brother.

00:30:32.280 What is he doing?

00:30:32.940 He's out of Louisiana or where?

00:30:33.880 I'm about to tell you.

00:30:34.700 Okay, sorry.

00:30:35.360 He used to always make jokes.

00:30:36.800 He used to always laugh.

00:30:38.540 He used to always check on everybody else.

00:30:41.640 And he sent me a text message.

00:30:45.720 I got on the flight and went to California.

00:30:47.600 When my flight landed, the last text message, he was like,

00:30:50.720 I don't think I could do this anymore.

00:30:52.660 Then I found out he killed himself.

00:30:55.380 So it's like oftentimes the people that's always helping everybody else,

00:31:00.600 like, it make you want to start checking on them.

00:31:03.920 That's why when I did it, and not to bring up nothing with Drewski,

00:31:07.320 but shout out to Drewski.

00:31:09.460 I did a little show where I was on there like a blind date,

00:31:12.520 and he was like, man, you too uptight.

00:31:15.640 And I'm like, I'm not.

00:31:16.580 I just, most of the time, the people that make all the jokes,

00:31:20.420 I check on their well-being because that's how my brother was.

00:31:23.300 He used to always make jokes and make me laugh,

00:31:25.680 and he'd be doing my tattoos,

00:31:27.540 and I'd be telling him about everything I've been through.

00:31:29.640 Like, he was like my therapist.

00:31:31.720 And he even flew out to California one time just to tattoo me, okay,

00:31:35.040 and stayed at my apartment and everything.

00:31:37.220 And you never know what people are going through internally.

00:31:39.480 And that's the reason I don't just take people for granted,

00:31:45.400 like, especially people that's always making everybody else laugh.

00:31:48.280 So I'll laugh with you, but I'm also going to be here with you to see what's going on.

00:31:51.600 Yeah, so I'm going to laugh with you, but when we finish,

00:31:55.540 I'm going to ask you, Mike, you sure everything okay?

00:31:58.120 Like, because if you need to talk, I'm here.

00:32:01.480 Yeah.

00:32:01.640 Like, and that's just the type of person I am because he was one of them people.

00:32:05.320 He was super funny, everything.

00:32:06.600 I never would have thought, right, he would have took his own life.

00:32:09.580 And that's what he just was dealing with, too much pain?

00:32:13.660 Yeah, he was dealing with a lot.

00:32:14.940 Yeah.

00:32:15.440 He was dealing with a lot.

00:32:17.480 That's my brother.

00:32:18.220 I love him.

00:32:18.760 Amen.

00:32:19.380 Trevon?

00:32:21.240 His name is Trevon Spielman.

00:32:22.960 Trevon Spielman.

00:32:23.520 But some people call him Trevon.

00:32:24.980 Yeah.

00:32:25.600 And, like, he's from Louisiana too.

00:32:27.580 Trevon Spielman.

00:32:28.720 Well, good.

00:32:29.080 I'm glad we say his name today, man.

00:32:30.700 Yeah.

00:32:31.020 It just made me think about that, like, the people that give the most, we never ask them,

00:32:37.560 do they need anything?

00:32:38.620 Yeah.

00:32:39.980 Yeah, man.

00:32:40.680 It's, you know, it's, man, a lot of my life, especially, like, as an adult in the past 10

00:32:44.860 years, eight years, really has been having a journey with myself, right?

00:32:50.660 I didn't even know who I was.

00:32:52.000 I don't even know if, honestly, bro, I feel sometimes like I've only been alive for about

00:32:55.540 five or six years in some way.

00:32:57.300 Before that.

00:32:57.680 You too?

00:32:58.220 Yeah.

00:32:58.620 You too?

00:32:59.020 Before that, I was alive, but I was just, and I don't even know what was controlling

00:33:04.100 me.

00:33:04.260 I'm grateful that God was giving me guidance.

00:33:06.620 You was alive, but you wasn't living.

00:33:08.160 Man.

00:33:08.880 I was, well, I just didn't even know who, only, the only way I was experiencing the world

00:33:13.100 was how you needed me to experience it, you know, kind of type of thing.

00:33:16.340 But I wanted to say one more time, just that, like, yeah, there was a moment where I laughed

00:33:20.780 at myself.

00:33:21.500 Oh, hey, I didn't mean to cut you off.

00:33:24.580 Please forgive me.

00:33:25.420 No, you didn't at all.

00:33:25.860 We just got lost.

00:33:26.920 No, it's important.

00:33:27.640 This is good.

00:33:28.140 And you're totally forgiven.

00:33:30.820 And yeah, I'm sorry for cutting you off too.

00:33:32.480 Um, but, uh, yeah, just to be able to laugh at myself, bro.

00:33:38.280 And then part of me, I felt, man, my whole life here I am and I won't even give my own

00:33:44.560 self a laugh.

00:33:46.320 It's like, cause I'm not only am I talking or, but I'm listening to myself at the same

00:33:50.160 time.

00:33:50.860 And I wouldn't even laugh every time.

00:33:52.960 I just been like, man, that's, there's an old thing inside of me.

00:33:55.440 You're not enough.

00:33:56.080 You got to be perfect or you're not.

00:33:57.860 Nobody's going to pay attention.

00:33:59.000 It's like just a constant system of judgment, you know?

00:34:02.080 And so man, to laugh at myself is just crazy.

00:34:06.140 My publicist, her name Alvina, she like, God give you what you need a lot of times when

00:34:15.860 you don't even know that you need it.

00:34:18.020 And me and her arguing, arguing, arguing, arguing, but she always tell me like, you're going to

00:34:23.760 be great.

00:34:24.600 That's my life's mission that you be great.

00:34:27.540 So one of the lessons, we have like a lesson every week.

00:34:31.480 And one of the lessons for one week, she was telling me, give yourself grace because I'm

00:34:35.860 super, I'm like you, I'm super critical on myself.

00:34:39.760 If I don't honor the commitments I made to myself, I'm a bitch.

00:34:42.800 Yeah.

00:34:43.560 You know?

00:34:44.240 Yeah, definitely.

00:34:45.580 And here's the crazy thing I would do, Kevin.

00:34:47.440 I would go, I would go for a run one day or do something.

00:34:49.920 And then I'd be like, we grinding every day.

00:34:52.340 I'm going to go, I'm going to go run a million miles.

00:34:54.880 Next week I'm running seven miles.

00:34:56.460 And then the next day I wouldn't even go for a run, but I'd have built up all of this

00:35:00.480 steam in my head.

00:35:01.380 Like I was in the Olympics.

00:35:02.940 And so then I'd let myself, my aspirations were so diabolical and ridiculous that, but

00:35:10.680 when I did let myself down, I would let myself fall from the heights of my aspirations.

00:35:15.100 Not even from where you was at.

00:35:18.020 Yes.

00:35:18.360 You just took one run and you just won neighborhood over and you got yourself at the Olympic trials

00:35:22.480 in Atlanta.

00:35:23.180 Like, but the, the shame I would feel would be the fall from the Olympic trials.

00:35:27.440 And I only fucking went damn, probably 1100 feet.

00:35:30.680 That's why everybody that tell me they want to get into fitness, they be like, what you

00:35:35.560 think I should do first?

00:35:36.760 I say baby steps, baby steps, take baby steps.

00:35:41.600 If you walk in the gym and walk out, you still showed up.

00:35:44.940 You did something that you wouldn't have done yesterday.

00:35:47.100 Maybe this time you might get on a trail man walk for maybe two or three minutes.

00:35:51.120 I don't know.

00:35:51.980 Who knows?

00:35:52.560 Start drinking more water.

00:35:54.200 Baby steps.

00:35:55.100 Like every, like everything is baby steps.

00:35:57.280 Yeah.

00:35:58.260 Yeah.

00:35:58.660 I would never even give myself the grace of like, let me have those babies.

00:36:01.700 You know, you know something else I used to do.

00:36:03.660 I used to compare myself to people that was taking steroids and all of that.

00:36:08.620 And I'm like, I want my body to look like this.

00:36:10.860 And I'm like, and I used to, I used to watch them dudes say stuff like, if you ain't got

00:36:16.540 no six pack, you fat, homie.

00:36:18.700 And I was like, damn, I'm fat.

00:36:21.340 So I had unrealistic expectations.

00:36:24.020 I'm just like you.

00:36:25.200 And then I started giving myself grace and I'm like, yeah, I didn't even come in it to

00:36:30.040 look like that.

00:36:30.720 I just wanted my clothes to be able to fit good.

00:36:33.140 Yeah.

00:36:33.480 I just, I just didn't want to be titty man anymore.

00:36:36.580 Yeah.

00:36:37.040 Yeah.

00:36:37.280 He didn't want to have them nice titties on it.

00:36:39.360 Man, I just didn't want to be titty man anymore.

00:36:43.340 And then you started comparing yourself to other people and you lose, we lose ourselves

00:36:48.280 in what we really wanted.

00:36:49.960 What was our goal?

00:36:50.820 I just wanted, I wanted a bedroom body.

00:36:52.720 That's it.

00:36:53.200 That's it.

00:36:53.760 That's it.

00:36:54.280 That's all.

00:36:54.640 I don't want to look good in my pajamas.

00:36:57.420 That's it.

00:36:57.780 Yeah.

00:36:57.800 I just wanted a nice little bedroom body.

00:36:59.800 Now all of a sudden I'm just like, man, I want to be Hercules.

00:37:02.700 Yeah.

00:37:02.820 I'm like, no.

00:37:03.700 Oh yeah.

00:37:03.980 I want to have muscles on the side of my cock or whatever.

00:37:06.320 You have them dudes, they be showing, they be flexing their cock.

00:37:08.940 They got one dude, he can flex his cock.

00:37:10.720 I'm like, I don't got to see that.

00:37:12.820 You been doing the dick lips, huh?

00:37:14.200 Yeah.

00:37:14.620 You been fucking doing something, bro.

00:37:16.400 Get that fishing string and put it at the end of it with the little weight, the sinker.

00:37:24.240 Yeah.

00:37:25.500 And make it flex.

00:37:27.760 With that fishing sinker, that little thing.

00:37:31.640 Dang, man.

00:37:33.440 No, thank you for saying some of that, dude.

00:37:35.240 Yeah, but the first time I ever laughed at myself, I realized how have I been treating myself this whole time.

00:37:42.240 Horrible.

00:37:42.740 I've heard you talk a lot about things like that, man.

00:37:44.980 And some of the stuff you say, man, just thank you for sharing.

00:37:47.380 I know you're not a prophet or anything like that, but just thank you for sharing honestly, because I think that's the greatest thing we can try to do.

00:37:53.200 Yeah, I'm far from a prophet.

00:37:55.040 Yeah, but I feel like we can try to share honestly.

00:37:57.660 I'm profitable.

00:37:58.260 Yeah.

00:37:58.560 I'm just not a prophet.

00:38:01.620 What up?

00:38:02.220 The only reason I say that, because when you hear about prophets, they like these such perfect people.

00:38:08.440 Yeah.

00:38:10.060 I ain't perfect.

00:38:12.260 I'm going to make some mistakes today.

00:38:13.780 Titty man on the loose today, baby.

00:38:18.280 They got a dude at the gym, his name Kevin.

00:38:20.700 When I walk in, he was like, hey, not Titty Man anymore.

00:38:25.160 Yeah.

00:38:26.060 Oh, he showed up, huh?

00:38:27.680 Yeah.

00:38:28.180 Like, because I did an interview and I was like.

00:38:30.280 Yeah, sorry for calling you Titty Man.

00:38:31.920 No, it's okay.

00:38:32.740 It's no big deal.

00:38:33.740 Just joking.

00:38:34.260 It's beautiful because that's where I came from.

00:38:36.600 I was Titty Man.

00:38:38.340 Yeah.

00:38:38.600 Like, I was holding a baby.

00:38:40.080 Oh, yeah.

00:38:40.300 And the baby tried to suck my titty.

00:38:41.880 I had breasts.

00:38:42.960 Got it.

00:38:43.280 And that was the most embarrassing moment for me ever.

00:38:45.580 I still talk about that to this day.

00:38:47.440 And somebody was like, no, you're running like.

00:38:49.120 I said, yeah, I had breasts.

00:38:50.300 I was Titty Man.

00:38:50.960 Yeah.

00:38:51.140 So, then they heard the interview and when I went to the gym, they were like, hey, you're

00:38:55.580 not Titty Man anymore.

00:38:57.220 I was like.

00:38:58.260 Oh, I used to stay up and look at my buddy had some tits on in my buddy.

00:39:01.940 I was going to do that thing.

00:39:03.660 I used to think that I had, what is it called?

00:39:06.480 Gynoglomastia.

00:39:09.680 Gynoglomastia.

00:39:10.260 Whatever it's called.

00:39:11.160 Pull it up.

00:39:12.000 Gynoglomastia.

00:39:12.500 See what it is.

00:39:13.780 Gynoglomastia.

00:39:14.060 Where is it?

00:39:14.400 In the Middle East?

00:39:16.360 Oh, gynoglomastia.

00:39:17.900 Whatever it's called.

00:39:18.580 I don't know how to pronounce the word.

00:39:19.900 I be hearing a lot of people say it.

00:39:21.300 They like gyno or whatever.

00:39:23.120 Gynoglomastia.

00:39:23.620 A condition where male breast tissue enlarges due to an imbalance of estrogen and testosterone.

00:39:28.460 And they had this surgery where you go get your titty cut out.

00:39:32.160 And I was like, man, I do that.

00:39:33.920 I'm tired of this shit.

00:39:34.960 And I didn't know you got abs under here.

00:39:38.660 And when you work the abs, that's what lift.

00:39:41.040 Like your ab muscle don't just, it go all the way up to the pectoral.

00:39:44.780 And that's what lift it.

00:39:45.840 And then doing dips and doing abs, that's what made all of that disappear, just lift.

00:39:52.220 Got that titty off.

00:39:53.420 Yeah.

00:39:53.960 God.

00:39:55.460 Yeah, my buddy had them.

00:39:56.880 And we used to, I used to stay up at night and he would have his shirt off and I'd look at them bitches, bro.

00:40:02.500 I hate that.

00:40:03.760 I liked it.

00:40:04.500 Like when I used to go to the YMCA.

00:40:06.860 Oh, yeah.

00:40:07.480 Which one?

00:40:08.300 I used to go to the one on college.

00:40:12.480 The old one, though.

00:40:13.720 Not the new, the old one.

00:40:15.400 Well, look at that YMCA in Baton Rouge.

00:40:17.240 The one, there's one over there by the Walgreens.

00:40:19.960 Not on college, on Foster.

00:40:21.640 Yeah.

00:40:22.340 On Foster.

00:40:23.400 The old one.

00:40:24.380 On all Foster.

00:40:25.200 I used to go to that one.

00:40:26.700 I'm talking about when I used to come out of my shirt, they used to free Willie.

00:40:30.400 Talking about the wheel.

00:40:31.300 Oh, damn.

00:40:31.800 Yeah.

00:40:31.980 Oh, my God.

00:40:33.120 Never in life.

00:40:34.660 I didn't know people were going through that.

00:40:36.720 Yeah, that's A.C. Lewis right there.

00:40:37.840 That's a good YMCA.

00:40:39.660 Free Willie out there.

00:40:41.260 Yeah.

00:40:42.260 Did you go to school over there ever?

00:40:43.640 Yeah.

00:40:44.420 Did you go to college over there, too?

00:40:45.960 Something like that.

00:40:46.780 I went to community college.

00:40:48.000 Did you?

00:40:48.300 Where did you go?

00:40:48.600 BRCC?

00:40:49.360 Of course.

00:40:50.020 Let's go.

00:40:50.680 Turn up.

00:40:51.580 My sister used to work over there at Cox Communications over there, man.

00:40:54.360 I know where that's at.

00:40:55.300 Yeah, my brother went to Southern for a little while.

00:40:58.000 Dang, bro.

00:40:58.720 That's wild.

00:40:59.080 What were you studying over there?

00:41:00.600 Business.

00:41:01.300 Yeah.

00:41:02.360 Introduction to business.

00:41:03.280 And you graduated, bro.

00:41:04.660 I didn't graduate.

00:41:05.600 But overall, you did.

00:41:07.160 Yeah, I graduated.

00:41:08.220 Yeah.

00:41:08.880 Big facts, man.

00:41:10.820 I'm a billion miles past.

00:41:12.860 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:14.500 Did you get a degree?

00:41:16.100 At some point, I saw that or I read that you got a degree in jail, in prison.

00:41:21.920 Yeah.

00:41:22.340 Is that true?

00:41:22.940 Yeah, that's true.

00:41:23.640 Wow.

00:41:23.980 What were the classes like in there and stuff?

00:41:25.940 What is it?

00:41:26.660 It wasn't no classes.

00:41:27.880 You just test.

00:41:29.260 I got credits by testing.

00:41:31.660 Oh, so they don't have like a, do y'all do like, I'm trying to think of what it's called.

00:41:36.380 Do y'all have like group projects or whatever?

00:41:39.220 No, you have an administrator that administered a test.

00:41:42.660 Oh, damn.

00:41:43.220 And you test.

00:41:44.020 Whenever you're ready to test, you test.

00:41:46.060 Well, you can't say whenever you're ready to test.

00:41:48.340 Like you might test once a month or something like that.

00:41:51.340 But I had a little way that I was able to keep testing.

00:41:55.900 Shout out to them.

00:41:56.920 Yeah, shout out to them.

00:41:59.180 But so you don't have group projects.

00:42:01.060 I was wondering if you got a group project or something.

00:42:03.100 What if your group leader gets put in like in a solitary confinement or whatever?

00:42:06.360 It wasn't like that.

00:42:07.640 Yeah.

00:42:08.060 It was not like that in Louisiana prisons.

00:42:10.500 It was like really every man for they self.

00:42:13.220 So you take your test and then like was it?

00:42:15.120 You study the curriculum and then you go take a test.

00:42:17.860 All right.

00:42:18.860 You have an administrator that makes sure you don't cheat.

00:42:21.860 And did other people look down on you if you were trying to study in there or no?

00:42:25.200 No.

00:42:25.940 You're trying to get out.

00:42:26.860 Just trying to get out the dorm.

00:42:28.180 Yeah.

00:42:29.640 Trying to get out the dorm.

00:42:31.320 Yeah.

00:42:31.720 I was just wondering if you had like a.

00:42:33.320 Now when I went to a prison in Chicago, when I, what that's, Illinois?

00:42:38.880 It was, I forgot.

00:42:42.240 It's EMCC, East Moline, but I forgot the place in Illinois that it was.

00:42:48.320 Now they had individual classrooms like on the campus.

00:42:52.520 Y'all would go to class.

00:42:53.600 Yeah, it was beautiful.

00:42:54.820 Dang.

00:42:55.880 That last bid I did, it changed my life completely.

00:43:01.080 That's how I got into yoga.

00:43:02.140 Like they offer programs and everything.

00:43:04.540 At the prison?

00:43:05.080 At the prison.

00:43:06.100 And they had weights.

00:43:08.700 I say that like I would lift in weights.

00:43:11.520 But they had weights.

00:43:12.880 Like if you wanted to be better, you could become better.

00:43:16.780 But dude, that reminds me, you ever been at like a hotel or motel and you'll be in the gym working out?

00:43:21.040 They have a family just come look at the gym equipment and then just walk out?

00:43:24.780 Like they just come take a tour?

00:43:25.740 Yeah, that just happened to me in, you say at the gym?

00:43:28.760 Yeah, like you'll be in the gym.

00:43:29.740 It just happened to me in, I was in South Carolina.

00:43:33.500 Yeah, I was in South Carolina working out at a hotel in a gym.

00:43:37.200 And they had people passing by the gym and they would look in the gym and open the door and leave out.

00:43:43.060 But they was having like a fraternity reunion there.

00:43:46.520 A conference or something?

00:43:47.360 I forgot what fraternity it was, but it was like from all over the country, they were having some kind of reunion.

00:43:54.880 Like Panhellenic or something like that maybe?

00:43:57.280 No, they was frets.

00:43:59.040 They was fraternity.

00:44:00.060 And they told me they was in a fraternity.

00:44:01.840 A few of them came in there and talked to me.

00:44:03.160 Masons or something?

00:44:04.400 No, they weren't Masons.

00:44:05.640 They was like a college.

00:44:09.200 Oh, Frow Deltas or something?

00:44:10.820 Something like that.

00:44:11.700 Chopper Darts?

00:44:12.280 And they was like, yeah, bro, we down here for some kind of get together.

00:44:17.060 They having parties.

00:44:18.100 Oh, they drinking.

00:44:18.980 Yeah, we big fans.

00:44:20.140 I was like, yeah.

00:44:21.300 Thank you.

00:44:21.880 Yeah, sometimes it's wild.

00:44:23.020 I'll be in the gym and people will come in and just look at the gym like, well, look at this.

00:44:26.620 If it ain't a gym, you know, and then they just leave out.

00:44:29.680 At least they showed up.

00:44:30.560 Yeah, that's a good point, huh?

00:44:31.700 That's baby steps.

00:44:32.720 They showed up.

00:44:33.600 That's baby steps.

00:44:34.440 Yeah, because I was just wondering if you're in jail, do you have group projects or is

00:44:38.500 there like most likely to, you know, like that kind of thing?

00:44:42.160 Like, is it like a real, like most likely to succeed or most likely to get out of jail

00:44:46.540 or whatever?

00:44:47.040 It's still individual-based learning, but you do earn good time by going to school.

00:44:54.240 I like the way they had it set up in Illinois.

00:44:57.780 They had programs and you earn good time by going to school.

00:45:01.340 It was like that in Louisiana and some facilities you earn good time by going to school, but

00:45:06.100 the way they had it set up in Illinois was different.

00:45:10.700 Like, they had real programs, like real classrooms that you go to.

00:45:14.500 They got some facilities that offer that, but it's not the same.

00:45:18.200 So it was more organized over there.

00:45:20.060 Yeah, it was more, I'm going to say this.

00:45:24.980 It was based to help people.

00:45:28.420 It was geared toward anti-recidivism.

00:45:31.360 Recidivism is repeat offenders.

00:45:32.980 Anti-recidivism is people that go to jail and become better and don't come back.

00:45:37.820 It was geared toward anti-recidivism.

00:45:40.500 Like in Louisiana, it's not geared toward that.

00:45:42.620 It's geared toward, it's a revolving door.

00:45:45.760 You're going to come back.

00:45:46.720 Right.

00:45:46.880 We'll see you soon.

00:45:47.800 Yeah.

00:45:48.180 Yeah, welcome back.

00:45:49.360 That type of thing.

00:45:50.180 See you next time.

00:45:50.940 You know, like you going in there, they, we missed you.

00:45:54.920 This is one of the worst things, but it was the most beautiful thing that ever happened

00:45:58.220 too, because I needed this.

00:46:00.360 They called me in and they had switched my P.O.

00:46:04.260 They switched my P.O.

00:46:05.560 So they called me in.

00:46:07.120 I go in.

00:46:08.080 I'm thinking I'm just going to piss.

00:46:09.760 Yeah.

00:46:10.160 Like, you know, give an update on what's going on.

00:46:12.780 Yeah.

00:46:12.960 Put your hands behind your back.

00:46:15.500 Took me to jail.

00:46:17.100 They say you traveled without notifying anybody.

00:46:20.420 I'm like, y'all switch my P.O.

00:46:22.160 I had been attempting to contact and nobody had ever picked the phone up.

00:46:26.040 Bang.

00:46:26.800 And where'd you go?

00:46:27.480 You took a vacation?

00:46:28.480 No, I didn't take a vacation.

00:46:29.640 I was working.

00:46:30.520 I won't say anything.

00:46:31.480 Yeah.

00:46:31.840 In the same spot that, the same spot that the P.O.

00:46:34.560 had already approved travel for.

00:46:36.520 And that's what made me start getting copies of everything.

00:46:40.040 Right.

00:46:40.320 So you got proof of what somebody said.

00:46:41.840 I want, can you sign it?

00:46:43.260 Can I get a travel for a bit?

00:46:44.580 Can you sign it?

00:46:45.240 And I started getting copies.

00:46:46.120 Can you make me a copy?

00:46:46.920 And I started keeping a folder and keeping copies.

00:46:49.100 It was beautiful though.

00:46:50.260 It made me be more organized.

00:46:51.720 Yeah.

00:46:51.860 Get some organization in your life and recognize, yeah, you got to have proof of what's going

00:46:55.020 on, even for yourself, because you can't even rely on other people's proof because they'll

00:46:58.160 forget the proof.

00:46:58.940 They'll alter the proof.

00:46:59.780 You don't even know sometimes.

00:47:00.980 I don't believe it.

00:47:01.800 Sometimes people get so busy and caught up with what they got going on.

00:47:04.940 That's true.

00:47:05.460 That it's easy to forget.

00:47:06.740 If you're dealing with a hundred different people, you're not going to possibly remember

00:47:09.960 a little old me until my name started buzzing.

00:47:12.480 Right.

00:47:12.740 Well, that's a good point too, because that's an interesting way.

00:47:15.200 Sometimes I'll think, this is the way that I'll think.

00:47:17.760 I'll think, oh, they're doing that on purpose to me, as opposed to what you just said.

00:47:21.800 It sounds like people-

00:47:22.840 Adversity builds character.

00:47:24.260 But people got a million things going on.

00:47:25.740 They're not thinking.

00:47:26.320 They're just doing their shit.

00:47:27.320 They say, never suspect malice of what could be mistaken for incompetence.

00:47:33.340 Never take as malice for what could be misinterpreted as incompetence.

00:47:37.300 And it usually is this.

00:47:38.400 Usually it's just kind of incompetence.

00:47:39.480 It's not.

00:47:39.840 People don't just go out of their way to do fucked up shit to you.

00:47:43.880 They just be so preoccupied with what they got going on.

00:47:46.920 They don't even know that this is what they're doing.

00:47:48.720 Yeah.

00:47:49.340 Until made aware.

00:47:51.080 But see, there were times in my head, I'd be like, these motherfuckers, that's how they

00:47:54.440 treat you.

00:47:54.840 But it's not anything like that.

00:47:56.260 But I would take that on.

00:47:57.560 We're going to automatically plex.

00:48:01.120 I still plex sometimes, develop a complex about feeling like I'm being mishandled and

00:48:09.180 things of that nature.

00:48:10.060 But I don't even look at it like that that shit be so petty, because I look at it not

00:48:13.680 like it's an invitation for me to lower my frequency.

00:48:17.160 I stay-

00:48:18.160 What is something you miss about prison?

00:48:20.380 I don't miss nothing about prison.

00:48:22.880 Even something little?

00:48:24.620 No.

00:48:24.980 I don't miss nothing about prison.

00:48:29.260 So there's nothing in it.

00:48:30.460 What about even just getting some rest every now and then?

00:48:32.740 Was it like that or no?

00:48:33.680 I can get rest out here.

00:48:35.200 I need to go to prison for the good rest.

00:48:36.960 Yeah, you're right.

00:48:38.060 You're right, man.

00:48:39.200 I'm trying to, yeah.

00:48:39.880 What did I miss?

00:48:40.780 Now I'm going to read ads for some of the prisons.

00:48:42.440 Somebody coming up, somebody coming up, making sure you in compliance, bed made up, all that.

00:48:47.900 I ain't got time for that shit.

00:48:49.180 I do that on my own anyway.

00:48:50.800 And what about a cellmate at night?

00:48:52.340 Like, do people say goodnight to each other or people just quietly go to sleep?

00:48:55.200 It depends on if you and your cellmate are cool.

00:48:59.100 If you got a cellmate and y'all cool like that.

00:49:02.160 You know, but with me, anytime I leave, any cellmate I have, they're going to always, man, I'm going to miss you, bro.

00:49:10.320 Because I just, I keep it going.

00:49:13.180 Yeah.

00:49:13.240 I run eps and everything.

00:49:14.800 And when I say run eps, that means, like, I'm running an episode, like, we talking about shit.

00:49:20.780 But it might go, when I first get in the cell, it might go about 90 days.

00:49:24.400 My cell is going to always ask me the same thing.

00:49:27.080 Hey, you sleep all day and you be up all night.

00:49:31.060 You don't watch TV and you don't get on the phone.

00:49:33.820 So I be reading.

00:49:36.060 I just read.

00:49:38.500 I read books.

00:49:39.420 I got stacks of books.

00:49:40.900 Yeah.

00:49:41.260 Then I don't even go to child.

00:49:44.560 So, like, say if you indigent.

00:49:46.500 Indigent means don't nobody send you no money.

00:49:48.440 I'm going to ask you.

00:49:49.680 You got family out there.

00:49:51.040 They love you.

00:49:52.220 They send you money.

00:49:53.040 You going to tell me, no, that what I'm going to do, I'm going to put $100 on your books.

00:49:57.220 You going to give me 80 worth of shit and you going to just keep the 20 for you.

00:50:01.760 Yeah.

00:50:02.720 That's business.

00:50:03.600 Yeah.

00:50:04.320 So, you know, you eating and I'm eating because I don't even go to child.

00:50:07.780 So I do hookups every night.

00:50:09.360 I cook.

00:50:09.880 So you're in your own space then.

00:50:11.800 Yeah.

00:50:12.140 I'm going to cook every night.

00:50:13.440 So you kind of try to create your own system within that system, do you feel like, in a way?

00:50:17.760 No.

00:50:18.220 That's just how I live.

00:50:19.320 That's how I do my time.

00:50:20.440 I do my business.

00:50:21.240 I don't really go to child.

00:50:22.360 This is on chicken day.

00:50:23.480 Right.

00:50:24.560 And then.

00:50:25.160 And no judgment on that.

00:50:26.020 I probably don't go on chicken day because all the chicken going to get brought to me anyway.

00:50:30.920 And I'm going to just cut all that.

00:50:31.920 I'm going to cut all that up and put that in a soup.

00:50:34.300 Yeah.

00:50:34.420 Put that in a hookup.

00:50:35.640 A hookup like where you get a big bowl and you, you know, we cook.

00:50:38.920 You got your own thing going.

00:50:39.900 Yeah.

00:50:40.080 Now, how do you heat the food up in the cell?

00:50:42.360 It depends on what spot we at.

00:50:45.100 It depends on where we at.

00:50:47.300 They got some people, they cook on the bunk, like on the middle.

00:50:51.600 They got some people, they got some jails where they give you a hot pot, but you got to rig it for to make it boil.

00:50:58.340 It depends.

00:50:59.580 Some people make a stinger.

00:51:01.400 What is that?

00:51:01.960 A stinger, that's the thing they hook in the electric socket and a little stinger.

00:51:06.580 It depends.

00:51:08.480 Oh, there you got somebody grilling something right there on a bed sheet.

00:51:11.220 Yeah.

00:51:12.380 Oh, that's good.

00:51:13.800 It depends.

00:51:14.300 It depends on what spot we at.

00:51:16.020 They have some good chefs in prison?

00:51:18.020 The best.

00:51:19.060 Amen.

00:51:19.880 Amen, dude.

00:51:20.900 Yeah.

00:51:21.100 Where's that cooking show, huh?

00:51:22.860 They got people make pizzas, everything.

00:51:26.060 Anything you could think of.

00:51:27.500 Stir, fry, everything.

00:51:29.340 Yeah.

00:51:30.620 I love that.

00:51:31.340 They got, I was locked up in Florida.

00:51:32.920 They got some shit they do.

00:51:33.940 They call it making a brick where they take it, man, they put everything in there.

00:51:38.200 Turkey, sausage, everything.

00:51:39.500 And they just, I'm talking about everything you could think of.

00:51:42.120 They can get out of the kitchen.

00:51:42.960 They put in a, and they make it, they cook it in a Dorito bag and make it like a whole

00:51:48.960 lit brick.

00:51:49.740 Oh, yeah.

00:51:50.580 Man, I'm talking about the truth.

00:51:52.400 Good, huh?

00:51:53.240 You ever do a prison night or something at the house, remake some food like that, or

00:51:56.220 try to, you ever remake any stuff like that for your friends so they can taste it?

00:51:59.340 Yeah, I done did that for my partners and my little son.

00:52:01.700 He like all that.

00:52:02.780 Oh, hell yeah.

00:52:04.040 But we come from that anywhere on the street, nothing but ramen noodles and all that.

00:52:07.440 We come from that.

00:52:08.400 Putting anything you could find in it.

00:52:10.540 Yeah, well, the big thing in our house was-

00:52:11.800 Oh, yeah.

00:52:12.160 My partner used to make my, he wasn't my silly, but he was like two doors down.

00:52:17.440 About three doors down.

00:52:18.820 He used to make burritos.

00:52:20.560 Oh, yeah.

00:52:22.300 Did he really?

00:52:22.900 He's a Mexican guy?

00:52:24.140 Nah, he wasn't Mexican, but he used to make burritos.

00:52:26.340 He pretended he was Mexican for dinner, huh?

00:52:28.320 You would have thought he was a Mexican.

00:52:29.980 Yeah.

00:52:30.940 I love a burrito, bro.

00:52:32.260 Man, he used to make the best ones.

00:52:33.900 I didn't like him at first because I didn't want to do, I like sandwiches.

00:52:37.020 I didn't want to betray a sandwich.

00:52:38.060 Man, he used to do it with all beef, all turkey, all chicken.

00:52:41.880 I'm talking about the truth.

00:52:43.000 My God.

00:52:43.720 Onions, everything.

00:52:45.220 Bell peppers, everything.

00:52:46.660 Oh.

00:52:47.500 He was putting everything in it.

00:52:48.860 Now, all the ingredients, do you get them through the jail or some people smuggle in a

00:52:52.240 bell peppers?

00:52:52.560 You get that from commissary, but like vegetables and shit, I don't know.

00:52:56.340 That's going to get broke.

00:52:57.420 That's coming from the kitchen.

00:52:58.740 Yeah.

00:52:59.700 That's going to get broke.

00:53:01.620 That's broke.

00:53:02.600 And what about, you got any good desserts in prison?

00:53:04.620 Was there ever like a-

00:53:05.300 Yeah, they got dudes in there that make candy.

00:53:06.800 They got dudes in there that make ice cream.

00:53:08.380 Yeah.

00:53:09.180 Dang.

00:53:09.760 Really?

00:53:10.780 Wow.

00:53:11.200 I would love that.

00:53:12.380 They got dudes that make everything, you know?

00:53:14.340 Them's some of the most creative people you're going to ever meet in your life.

00:53:16.760 Yeah, really?

00:53:17.200 Them's some of the most intelligent people you're going to ever meet in your life.

00:53:20.860 Yeah.

00:53:21.960 The most intelligent.

00:53:23.760 You talking about weights?

00:53:24.680 You talking about yoga?

00:53:25.440 You got any yoga when you were in there?

00:53:26.600 Yeah.

00:53:27.600 I accidentally got into yoga.

00:53:29.360 How'd that happen?

00:53:29.900 My partner kept telling me, man, bro.

00:53:31.840 But I think a lot of black men, you can't just say, I got into yoga.

00:53:34.660 I think you have to be like, I accidentally got into yoga.

00:53:37.320 No, look.

00:53:37.340 I was against it.

00:53:38.440 I was all the way against it.

00:53:39.660 Oh, yeah.

00:53:40.160 He was telling me, man, bro, I'm telling you, bro, they got yoga classes.

00:53:43.640 I said, well, you going there and bent over.

00:53:45.320 I'm not going in there and doing shit.

00:53:46.680 You going there and bent your ass over.

00:53:48.120 Yeah.

00:53:48.620 So that was, I was just, I was like too hard for myself, just whatever, whatever, whatever.

00:53:53.520 So one of my partners from across the hall, he was like, yeah, bro, I'm a holler.

00:53:57.360 I'm about to go do yoga.

00:53:58.480 I said, for what?

00:54:00.060 He was like, man, I couldn't even like, he was telling me he had knee pains and all kinds

00:54:04.480 of different pains in his joints.

00:54:05.940 He said, I don't even have that shit no more since I've been doing yoga.

00:54:09.120 He said, man, everything on me, like he said, it's been healing my body.

00:54:13.180 So I'm like, whatever.

00:54:14.840 So like two days past, I give it a try.

00:54:17.660 I go in the first, maybe two poses of the shit I did.

00:54:22.440 I'm thinking it's some bullshit.

00:54:24.160 Like, you know, when you see on TV, you see people, oh, namaste.

00:54:28.760 Yeah.

00:54:29.160 You know, you thinking it's bullshit.

00:54:30.780 So I did it.

00:54:32.060 Yeah.

00:54:32.520 Like maybe after the third pose, I ran to the bathroom and shitted everything.

00:54:38.740 Like it cut my appetite.

00:54:40.580 It's really what started my, kind of started my fitness journey.

00:54:44.260 Like a lot of the people that was lifting weights and doing all that would still come

00:54:47.980 and do yoga because I had read in the, what's that, the Arnold Schwarzenegger Encyclopedia?

00:54:54.360 That big yellow book?

00:54:55.740 What's he got on there?

00:54:56.860 He had a big, it's called?

00:54:59.220 There, go right there.

00:55:00.440 Arnold Schwarzenegger Encyclopedia.

00:55:02.360 That's the one.

00:55:04.160 But he did yoga.

00:55:05.880 He was like, whenever a lion wake up, a lion stretch first before they do anything.

00:55:10.320 So I started looking at it.

00:55:13.220 And you know, when you, when you start feeding yourself that, that not, you know, your brain

00:55:19.360 opened up to something different when you reading it because you become like an information freak.

00:55:24.040 You become like a seeker of knowledge because this is the only thing that's stimulating you

00:55:28.380 mentally.

00:55:29.440 You know what I'm saying?

00:55:30.040 You being stimulated by new information.

00:55:32.880 So then I was like, man, yeah, I'm going to go fuck with it.

00:55:35.600 So I started fucking with it.

00:55:37.440 I came home, I got off it, but then I got back on it and now I'm like fully committed.

00:55:45.140 Oh yeah, dude.

00:55:45.640 I've definitely done some yoga where you'll, I mean, you will shit, you have shit, you're

00:55:49.780 like, damn, this shit been missing.

00:55:50.720 It cuts your appetite and everything.

00:55:52.100 Yeah.

00:55:52.820 If I don't do yoga, I feel weird.

00:55:55.500 Yeah.

00:55:56.500 Oh dude, there's nothing better when you get done with yoga and you cut off the computer

00:56:00.740 or however you do, you know.

00:56:01.860 I love when my yoga coach used to tell me, thank you for allowing me to share this space

00:56:06.880 with you.

00:56:08.060 Namaste.

00:56:09.100 Yeah.

00:56:10.140 I'm like, I bet you not like this at the house, but in my brain, you know.

00:56:16.860 Oh yeah.

00:56:17.960 Oh dude, yoga sometimes about there'd be a pose.

00:56:20.280 One time I would do something with my shoulder.

00:56:22.820 I had shoulder pain, all that shit.

00:56:24.500 It unlocked something inside of me.

00:56:25.940 My tears just coming out of my face, just stuck in my muscles.

00:56:29.180 You know, that's crazy.

00:56:30.320 That happened to me doing a pigeon pose and I was just in the pose.

00:56:36.400 I was laying there and I ain't want to lift back up because I was just crying uncontrollably

00:56:40.880 and she came and put her hands on my back and she was like, the energy that you're feeling

00:56:45.320 right now is not your own.

00:56:46.820 It's just psychic debris.

00:56:48.580 You're having an emotional detox.

00:56:50.780 Damn.

00:56:51.420 Release it.

00:56:52.460 And I was just breathing through it and then I did the left side.

00:56:55.580 And then whoever tell us about emotional detoxes, I ain't grow up knowing about that shit.

00:57:01.820 I ain't know that everything that we go through traumatically, it harness itself somewhere in some type of muscle fascia

00:57:09.300 or somewhere in the fascia.

00:57:10.840 I ain't know that shit.

00:57:12.340 Well, there's not a lot of guys talk.

00:57:13.920 There's not a lot of guys I don't feel like where you're from talking about this stuff, man.

00:57:17.140 What do you think really took you?

00:57:18.380 I felt like it was, I'm going to be honest with you, I did prejudge it.

00:57:21.960 I thought that was for pussies.

00:57:24.060 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:57:25.060 When they first told me about yoga, I'm not about to do that bitch ass shit.

00:57:29.080 Especially in prison.

00:57:30.000 I didn't even know they had different sports.

00:57:31.240 I thought homosexuality was the only sport in prison.

00:57:33.760 The first thing I told them, I said, man, you going in and bend your ass over.

00:57:37.200 I'm not about to do it.

00:57:38.220 Yeah, fucking little zesty boy.

00:57:39.700 Next thing I know, I was doing them warrior poses and all that shit.

00:57:43.960 Hey, you in there, bro.

00:57:45.220 That shit ain't no joke.

00:57:46.220 Yeah, you get in there with your little sugar cane in there.

00:57:49.520 I ain't going in there.

00:57:50.480 That's how I would think at first, you know.

00:57:52.080 You get in there with your little spicy baby body.

00:57:55.720 Nah, you're only victim of what you're in a tank.

00:57:57.660 Yeah.

00:57:58.240 Oh, but that's how I was.

00:58:00.500 I was against everything.

00:58:01.620 Yeah, I used to plex like that.

00:58:03.340 I think in juvenile detention, because you hear so many fucked up stories about jail.

00:58:07.760 When you go in there, they're going to try to fuck you.

00:58:09.360 Yeah, they're fucking people.

00:58:10.560 And you think that's how it's going.

00:58:12.260 Yeah, don't wear no cologne in there.

00:58:13.800 When you go in there, the first thing you do,

00:58:16.220 is plex.

00:58:16.960 And what I mean by plex, you have a complex.

00:58:19.260 You're in defense mode.

00:58:21.340 But when you get there, you really see that prison is structured.

00:58:24.240 Yeah.

00:58:24.780 It's really off respect.

00:58:26.400 It's ran off respect.

00:58:27.580 Respect run the compound.

00:58:29.460 Ain't nobody going to pass by you and not say, excuse me.

00:58:32.760 It's different.

00:58:34.560 Do you admire the level of respect that was in there in some ways?

00:58:37.320 I give my respect first, but at the end of the day, I still demand it.

00:58:45.700 Did you get treated special because you had celebrities in your life, you think?

00:58:49.360 I wasn't a celebrity at first.

00:58:51.320 Got it.

00:58:52.140 Like, juvenile detention through that circuit, I wasn't a celebrity.

00:58:55.100 Was it scary to go back to prison?

00:58:56.740 Like, damn, now they know me.

00:58:57.840 Juvenile facilities are more chaotic than adult facilities.

00:59:01.640 Oh, yeah.

00:59:02.260 I could see that.

00:59:02.700 It's more energy.

00:59:03.360 So they're way more chaotic.

00:59:04.700 So that's where the fighting and all that go on every day.

00:59:08.220 An adult prison is structured.

00:59:09.820 It ain't like that.

00:59:10.440 It's laid back.

00:59:11.300 Yeah.

00:59:12.040 That shit they be showing on TV, them Mickey Mouse camps.

00:59:15.520 Yeah.

00:59:16.160 That's not no.

00:59:17.040 Right.

00:59:17.340 It's not real shit.

00:59:17.720 That's not no maximum security.

00:59:19.380 That's not no none of that.

00:59:20.260 Them Mickey Mouse camps.

00:59:21.400 I used to want to go.

00:59:21.840 That's not like Louisiana.

00:59:23.260 Like, Louisiana prisons are the roughest prisons from my perspective because I done been around

00:59:31.420 a little bit.

00:59:32.300 I haven't been to prison in Canada.

00:59:34.260 So.

00:59:34.640 That sounds nice.

00:59:35.920 So, man, they had the best food.

00:59:38.020 Oh, man.

00:59:38.620 Canada's great.

00:59:39.140 I would go to prison in Canada.

00:59:40.240 It was different.

00:59:41.420 Like, the way they respect you there is total.

00:59:44.580 Like, the way the guards respect you there is different.

00:59:46.960 When you get to Louisiana, it's a whole nother story.

00:59:49.720 Yeah.

00:59:50.420 Always definitely.

00:59:51.100 This is a different way that people communicate overall.

00:59:53.500 Dude, I'll tell you this even.

00:59:54.440 What I noticed about racial stuff in Canada when I was up there, I feel like sometimes

00:59:59.600 in America, especially growing up in the South, there's not.

01:00:03.260 There's some tension between black and white, I feel like.

01:00:06.140 But there's a lot of history, right?

01:00:07.360 Louisiana, Mississippi, all white boys different.

01:00:09.620 Yeah.

01:00:10.300 Oh, for sure.

01:00:11.420 But in Canada, if you.

01:00:12.480 They different.

01:00:13.100 In Canada, there's no racial tension.

01:00:14.720 They not regular white boys in Mississippi, Louisiana.

01:00:18.720 They built different.

01:00:20.020 Well, some of them got, they, some of them seem like.

01:00:23.460 I got a partner right now.

01:00:26.680 We is locked up.

01:00:27.960 If you call him G White, you might as well just go on and get rid of it.

01:00:33.520 Just don't even call him if you call him.

01:00:35.160 Because you know that be like, what up, G White?

01:00:37.340 You know you say that to life.

01:00:39.020 You know he think he a nigga.

01:00:40.440 You know, what up, G White?

01:00:41.960 Man, they got some white boys.

01:00:43.160 They not going for that.

01:00:44.420 Yeah.

01:00:44.980 I'm not going.

01:00:45.560 You not about to call me G White.

01:00:46.980 Like, we could fight all, hey, all we could play with that knife.

01:00:49.880 And that's how they come.

01:00:50.940 And they built like that.

01:00:52.320 Yeah.

01:00:52.640 Yeah, it's changed a little bit, huh?

01:00:54.040 No, it ain't changed.

01:00:55.040 It's been like that.

01:00:55.800 You think?

01:00:56.460 Yeah.

01:00:56.720 You got real niggas and bitch niggas everywhere you go.

01:00:59.340 God dang.

01:01:00.040 So it's like, it's like.

01:01:02.000 I'm glad to know that, I guess.

01:01:03.080 Yeah, it's, it's, it's on, you aren't a victim of what you want to attain.

01:01:06.380 Yeah.

01:01:06.780 See, like when you went to the sugar cane, baby, that conversation, I ain't even grinning.

01:01:11.340 Yeah.

01:01:11.500 Because I'm not in.

01:01:12.420 Right.

01:01:12.860 If you grin, you in.

01:01:14.360 Oh, dang.

01:01:15.280 That was your conversation.

01:01:16.500 I'm not, I'm just, I'm not talking to me.

01:01:18.240 Like when you was like, yeah, I want to be in there with my sugar baby and a yoga thing.

01:01:22.000 I was like.

01:01:22.740 I said there were men in there.

01:01:24.020 I think there's creative men in there.

01:01:26.580 Yeah, I just, that, that wasn't my conversation.

01:01:28.720 Yeah, yeah.

01:01:29.040 I'm a real Vic, so that just went over my head.

01:01:31.860 I ain't no new J.

01:01:32.600 Me too, bro.

01:01:33.300 I ain't about that shit.

01:01:34.080 Yeah.

01:01:34.500 So when you went, like when somebody had them kind of conversations.

01:01:37.400 I ain't having them.

01:01:38.300 Yeah.

01:01:38.860 That just go over my head.

01:01:40.260 Me too.

01:01:41.160 Because if you grin, you in.

01:01:42.740 You're only victim of what you're going to attain.

01:01:44.380 I'm chilling.

01:01:45.360 I ain't smiling about nothing.

01:01:48.180 I feel that.

01:01:48.700 Not like if you grin, you in.

01:01:50.240 But if you entertain it.

01:01:51.520 Right.

01:01:51.900 Oh, I see what you're saying.

01:01:52.500 You know, you open the door for that.

01:01:53.900 Yeah.

01:01:54.320 Not me.

01:01:55.340 I'm locking that up.

01:01:56.440 And that's one thing I teach my son.

01:01:58.300 And like, sometimes he'll see something on the internet, like a comment.

01:02:01.860 I say, hey, you don't entertain that.

01:02:03.780 You're a man.

01:02:04.480 Right.

01:02:04.920 Never let nobody defeat you with words.

01:02:06.960 You don't entertain it.

01:02:08.620 How did you start to get to know yourself, right?

01:02:10.500 Because you talked about that.

01:02:13.160 Solitude.

01:02:13.480 Solitude.

01:02:14.100 Really?

01:02:16.380 Solitude.

01:02:17.180 Because you're one of the few people, you're one of the few kind of rappers I feel like

01:02:19.560 that I've met or experienced or paid attention to that I know of that talks about that kind

01:02:23.940 of stuff, their relationship with themselves, right?

01:02:25.780 Most of the things that we did, excuse me, I can't say we.

01:02:28.840 I'm going to say me.

01:02:29.420 I'm going to speak for me.

01:02:30.380 All right.

01:02:30.700 Most of the things that I did in my life that people would consider heroic or violent

01:02:36.160 or that I got stripes for, that was out of fear or seeking validation from somebody older

01:02:43.480 than me.

01:02:44.660 But how did you start to realize that that's what was going on?

01:02:48.600 Like that you, like when you say like solitary, being by yourself.

01:02:55.000 Being in solitude.

01:02:56.720 Spending time alone.

01:02:57.740 So what was that practice?

01:02:58.960 Did you have a practice that started?

01:03:00.240 I mean, you said like a little bit of yoga, so that kind of opened up your idea to like

01:03:03.260 doing something different.

01:03:05.000 But what, like, what was, was there somebody who started to teach you these practices?

01:03:09.440 Because it's hard to get from just.

01:03:11.720 When the student ready to learn to teach you a pill, once you start walking this path,

01:03:16.940 like this path led me to doing this right now, today.

01:03:20.680 And when I leave here, I don't know who I'm going to meet that may give me a tidbit of

01:03:26.060 knowledge that's going to propel me forward.

01:03:28.360 I don't know.

01:03:29.760 And it just, you pick it up.

01:03:31.840 The reward really is in the journey.

01:03:33.700 So I just pick up little tidbits along the way.

01:03:36.280 Yeah.

01:03:36.800 Or how you say it?

01:03:38.000 Tidbits, my bad.

01:03:39.100 Yeah, tidbits.

01:03:39.620 That's the Louisiana, my tongue heavy.

01:03:42.540 That tidbits.

01:03:43.280 Oh, yeah.

01:03:43.860 So I got to, I talk lazy.

01:03:45.820 When you look on your life, what's like, what are some of the worst pain that you feel

01:03:50.960 like you have ever been in?

01:03:53.100 Physical, emotional.

01:03:54.380 Emotional, probably, I would say, or mental, like, because I've heard you talk about trauma

01:03:59.120 and overcoming past traumas.

01:04:00.600 You don't hear a lot of people talk like that, you know?

01:04:03.140 So like, I'm just like.

01:04:05.600 Recently, 2020, I was going to kill myself.

01:04:10.060 Damn.

01:04:10.420 I had deleted my Instagram for like a year and a half.

01:04:14.680 I was going to kill myself.

01:04:17.220 Because I only felt appreciated for my ability to do.

01:04:21.560 And then I was always looking at Instagram, and it was like I was comparison.

01:04:26.900 I was comparing.

01:04:27.580 And I spoke about this before.

01:04:28.920 I was comparing my life to other people's life.

01:04:32.620 And comparison really is the killer of our joy.

01:04:35.220 And I didn't understand that until I started looking at my life like, damn, like, I'm seeing

01:04:41.740 everybody highlight real.

01:04:43.460 But at the end of the day, I'm just me.

01:04:46.940 But everybody else living so great.

01:04:49.220 But that's just the highlights.

01:04:50.900 That's not what they going through every day.

01:04:53.340 And it took me getting off Instagram and getting off social media, period, to see that people

01:04:59.840 really do love me and enjoy the world and start having gratitude.

01:05:03.560 To, like, think about the things you're grateful for.

01:05:07.900 Not what you don't have and not how shit not going, but think about all the good shit and

01:05:12.060 just be thankful.

01:05:12.960 Like, I'm grateful for this.

01:05:14.020 I'm grateful for that.

01:05:15.260 And that's when things started to kind of change for me.

01:05:18.000 A lot of people say that kind of stuff, but it's not a practice in their life, right?

01:05:21.640 It's not like a real truth that they're living.

01:05:23.360 I think that's one thing to me that's interesting by you.

01:05:26.280 It feels like that's really how you have chosen to live your life.

01:05:30.040 What were, like, practices?

01:05:31.200 I don't have.

01:05:31.540 I'm going to be honest.

01:05:32.240 Every day not going to be a good day for me, but I'm still going to go to the gym because

01:05:37.620 that is my therapy.

01:05:39.500 And I kind of train myself to know that whenever I have, like, a fucked up feeling like the

01:05:44.140 days that I don't even want to go, them the days that I had the best workouts, I didn't

01:05:49.140 kind of start playing a game with myself.

01:05:50.900 I know when certain people start texting me and it's low vibrational people, something

01:05:55.520 good must be about to happen.

01:05:57.120 There's got to be a test.

01:05:58.180 Something good about to happen.

01:05:59.140 And I just started training myself to look at it like that.

01:06:01.980 And that's really how it be going.

01:06:03.760 Yeah.

01:06:04.520 Yeah.

01:06:04.800 Alternate that.

01:06:05.680 Like, yeah.

01:06:06.080 Taking the opposite choice.

01:06:07.500 Making the opposite choice.

01:06:08.440 Because everything inside of you is like, take off today.

01:06:11.240 Take it easy.

01:06:11.960 Don't do nothing.

01:06:12.420 I swear to God.

01:06:13.080 Yeah.

01:06:13.220 Like, I wasn't jogged and everything before I came here.

01:06:16.100 Amen.

01:06:17.120 I heard you talk about before about, like, a lot of men you don't feel like are living

01:06:20.880 their truth, right?

01:06:22.220 They're not.

01:06:23.640 I feel like we're in a tough spot, like, with, like, love and the value, the moral value

01:06:30.360 of relationships and stuff like that.

01:06:32.500 You're not.

01:06:32.860 Like, ain't nobody, ain't nobody really loving people no more.

01:06:38.320 I think I'm the only person right now that's, like, really living in my authenticity.

01:06:46.120 I'm talking about as far as, like, on the main stage, like, people say what's politically

01:06:49.880 correct, and I don't give a fuck what nobody think about me.

01:06:53.460 Because if everybody like me, then I'm pussy.

01:06:56.320 You know what I'm saying?

01:06:56.920 I'm just, I want to be liked by everybody.

01:06:58.700 He who is a friend to everyone is a friend to no one.

01:07:02.660 I'm not a good, I'm not friendly, but I'm a great friend.

01:07:07.480 And that's just my perspective on it.

01:07:09.600 Like, it's a lot of people that won't allow themselves to love somebody based on their past

01:07:15.820 situations or the bumps and mistakes that they made, and for fear of how the rest of

01:07:22.380 the world will look at them.

01:07:23.420 Yeah.

01:07:23.740 I don't care how the world look at me.

01:07:26.560 Don't care.

01:07:27.200 I'm living life all out.

01:07:31.400 Damn, dude.

01:07:32.140 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

01:07:33.600 Really, really.

01:07:35.100 Dude, I'll tell you this, Kevin.

01:07:36.900 I, yeah, I've had, I remember times in my life I was like, man, I wouldn't date a certain

01:07:40.700 girl because of what my friends would think of her, bro.

01:07:42.760 And then I spent, like, a couple years like that one time.

01:07:45.520 I had that problem, but.

01:07:47.260 But then I missed out on a good opportunity, too.

01:07:49.480 Man, once I started fucking, man, listen.

01:07:51.740 Once I started fucking with this little chick, everybody told me, don't fuck with her.

01:07:56.440 So she ended up being, and still to the day, we still good friends.

01:08:00.140 She was one of the most solid people I ever met.

01:08:02.260 And this back from when I was still on the block.

01:08:06.020 Shit.

01:08:06.600 And we still cool.

01:08:07.620 She doing good for herself.

01:08:08.860 Nah, she in the real estate and shit.

01:08:10.260 Nah, but this from back when I was on the block with it.

01:08:13.620 Oh, yeah.

01:08:14.000 She was dancing.

01:08:15.240 She used to dance.

01:08:16.300 Everybody, man, don't mess with her.

01:08:17.560 She a stripper.

01:08:18.300 She, and she ended up being one of the most solid people.

01:08:21.140 And that's when I realized it's the people that the world say the most fucked up shit

01:08:25.580 about be the best people.

01:08:27.260 And the people everybody praise and be like, yeah, this person, he's such a great guy.

01:08:31.560 They really be barbaric behind closed doors.

01:08:34.340 They don't have no morals.

01:08:35.400 They don't have no principles.

01:08:36.400 They don't stand for nothing.

01:08:38.320 So I just noticed, like, some of your better people be the people that everybody don't like.

01:08:43.220 Well, I think it's tough for people.

01:08:44.480 You kind of one of them people, like, when I say authentic, like, you pretty much do

01:08:50.920 your own shit.

01:08:52.900 You one of them people.

01:08:54.940 Thanks.

01:08:55.300 To me, like, you live in your authenticity.

01:08:58.480 A lot of people be like, the stuff that you say, a lot of people wouldn't say it for fear

01:09:02.780 of how it would be perceived.

01:09:04.080 You just say it.

01:09:04.840 And I'm like, I can't help but to fuck with it.

01:09:10.760 That's a good point, right?

01:09:12.000 You just real people.

01:09:13.060 Thanks for the compliment, man.

01:09:14.800 Yeah, I try my best.

01:09:16.280 I think the tough part is.

01:09:17.540 It was the truth.

01:09:19.520 Like, it was the truth.

01:09:20.800 Right.

01:09:21.860 I think the tough part is just, I'm just always still trying to figure out who I am, and I'm

01:09:29.820 amazed at new things that come along.

01:09:31.640 Most people want to admit that, like, one of my albums that's about to come out is called

01:09:36.520 Don't Know What I'm Doing, because I don't know what I'm doing.

01:09:40.320 Most people want to admit that they don't know what they're doing.

01:09:42.520 I don't know what I'm doing.

01:09:43.980 I'm still discovering new parts of myself every day.

01:09:47.480 I don't know.

01:09:48.780 People be asking me, so what you going to do today?

01:09:50.620 I don't know.

01:09:52.760 I haven't figured it out yet.

01:09:54.060 How do you keep your ego?

01:09:57.220 Because this is something I've noticed in my life, right?

01:09:59.080 Like, my ego.

01:10:00.520 What do I do?

01:10:01.180 How do I figure out what is my ego and what is self-confidence and self-worth?

01:10:06.640 Like, do you know what I'm talking about?

01:10:07.640 Your ego can slip in.

01:10:08.920 To be honest, 2025, some people can say that I'm operating out of ego, but I'm not giving

01:10:18.500 to nobody but me.

01:10:20.880 Like, I'm not.

01:10:22.060 I've given everything I had to give, and now everybody else can just figure it out.

01:10:26.560 And we can say that's ego.

01:10:31.380 That's cool.

01:10:31.920 But when I go to the gym, I don't ego lift.

01:10:34.200 Right.

01:10:34.700 I don't lift the heaviest weights in there.

01:10:37.420 I do what's comfortable for me.

01:10:39.960 I work at my own pace.

01:10:41.400 Hey, you know, what I eat doesn't make you shit, and what you eat doesn't make me shit.

01:10:46.100 So, if you want to go in there and be the world's strongest person, you know, good luck, buddy.

01:10:51.480 Yeah.

01:10:53.240 Great for you.

01:10:55.400 I do what works for me.

01:10:57.560 And, like, I always make sure, am I getting what I came for?

01:11:02.080 I just want to get what I came for.

01:11:03.540 Like, what do you mean by that?

01:11:04.960 Like, when I go to the gym, I don't get sidetracked and socializing.

01:11:09.880 Yeah.

01:11:10.120 What I mean by socializing is I knew I had this interview today, and I already made the commitment.

01:11:17.060 So, I'm going to honor that commitment.

01:11:18.880 So, when I went, I'm just giving you an illustration.

01:11:21.220 For sure.

01:11:21.620 An example.

01:11:22.380 So, when I went to the gym today, I went in there to get what I came for.

01:11:25.360 I ain't coming here to be friendly.

01:11:26.860 I ain't coming here to socialize.

01:11:28.600 And what I mean by socializing, you know, your uncle paid by y'all over there socializing, huh?

01:11:32.420 Yeah.

01:11:33.320 Socializing?

01:11:33.860 Yeah, y'all over there socializing.

01:11:35.660 You lying to him and he lying to you.

01:11:37.200 Y'all lying to each other.

01:11:40.120 I ain't coming here to socialize.

01:11:43.140 Yeah, man.

01:11:43.960 I think having parameters for yourself and boundaries for what your goals are, that's, I think, what.

01:11:50.140 And had I not did what I needed to do to raise my frequency, me going to the gym today, was committing to act of self-love, I wouldn't have been able to do this.

01:11:59.400 Right.

01:11:59.700 I feel great now.

01:12:01.500 Yeah.

01:12:02.360 Yeah.

01:12:02.580 I feel amazing.

01:12:04.340 Yeah, your energy comes in.

01:12:05.780 And, yeah, it's funny because you come in, I feel like, damn, I got to, I want to be on a level.

01:12:10.940 Well, you came in when I saw Jesse, and every time I see Jesse, I'm, Jesse is a friend, and he's always been a good friend of mine.

01:12:20.020 Lately, something's changed.

01:12:21.280 If you're watching this, Jesse, shout out to you, Jesse.

01:12:23.260 Yes.

01:12:25.380 He was like, every time I see him, he was like, every time he sees me, he makes a song about stealing my fucking girl.

01:12:33.300 And that's just a joke that we got every time I see him.

01:12:37.640 Good to see you, Jesse, bro.

01:12:39.620 Yeah, Jesse, if you're watching this.

01:12:42.980 He's watching, man.

01:12:44.000 If you're watching, Jesse, this one's for you, brother.

01:12:45.700 It's for you, buddy.

01:12:47.140 It's for you, buddy.

01:12:49.560 Did you have self-hatred and stuff?

01:12:51.200 Did you deal with that?

01:12:52.060 Of course.

01:12:52.680 How'd you know you had it?

01:12:55.200 My actions.

01:12:55.980 You know who told me, who kind of started the conversation?

01:13:01.880 I was talking to Plas one day.

01:13:04.000 Really?

01:13:04.620 Yeah, and it may not seem like it, but that's a real intelligent dude.

01:13:10.680 So he was like, man, Gaze, there's something I be noticing, bro.

01:13:14.520 He said, Gaze, man, you be acting like an ugly nigga, man.

01:13:17.920 I said, what you mean?

01:13:19.200 You just be, you be moving around like an ugly nigga, man, and you not no ugly nigga.

01:13:22.920 You handsome, but I'm just saying, you be like an ugly nigga.

01:13:25.620 And I be like, what you mean?

01:13:28.280 Man, you got to ask him, say, kid it with you.

01:13:31.100 Can't nobody be just touching you.

01:13:34.080 And then we were sitting out at the table, and a lady was trying to tell me,

01:13:37.120 he said, hold on, now I'm delicate.

01:13:39.180 I ain't know what he meant, but he was talking about setting those energetic

01:13:42.680 boundaries for yourself, like everybody not supposed to have access to you

01:13:46.720 because it's texting on your spirit.

01:13:48.440 It's draining.

01:13:50.000 It's draining.

01:13:50.660 Man, certain phone calls is draining.

01:13:53.940 Oh.

01:13:54.260 Hello?

01:13:55.500 Yeah.

01:13:56.460 What's going on?

01:13:57.780 They about to tell you some bullshit, some bad news.

01:14:00.000 I don't want to hear that shit.

01:14:01.260 Yeah.

01:14:02.040 Maybe that's my ego.

01:14:03.780 You act like you don't care.

01:14:05.400 I don't.

01:14:06.660 It's not that I don't give a fuck.

01:14:08.880 I could just give a fuck less.

01:14:10.500 Yeah.

01:14:11.540 I care about me.

01:14:13.400 Right.

01:14:14.160 Fuck that.

01:14:15.300 I don't want to hear that shit.

01:14:16.940 Damn.

01:14:17.780 Yeah, it's so true, man.

01:14:18.980 Because a person that don't.

01:14:20.080 You'll take it on.

01:14:21.000 A person that don't.

01:14:22.760 You're not doing the work every day.

01:14:24.560 Yeah.

01:14:24.840 So it's like, I'm doing the work every day.

01:14:29.120 So a person that's not doing the work every day, it's really nothing you could tell me

01:14:32.980 because I'm doing the work every day.

01:14:35.380 Like, I go weeks sometimes without eating when I'm fasting, when I need clarity.

01:14:40.020 I just stop eating.

01:14:41.520 Three days in, no food.

01:14:43.140 You wouldn't even go three hours.

01:14:44.680 Yeah.

01:14:44.900 I'm hungry.

01:14:46.100 I have a headache.

01:14:47.340 That's your body detoxing.

01:14:49.420 So I don't even listen to people like that.

01:14:51.420 Yeah.

01:14:52.120 Oh, yeah.

01:14:52.860 People don't care.

01:14:54.200 People get all fattened out or whatever they cook.

01:14:56.820 Yeah.

01:14:57.020 People just.

01:14:58.120 I mean, food could be used as a drug sometimes.

01:15:02.740 Sometimes food could be used as a coping mechanism because I used to use food as a coping mechanism.

01:15:07.300 Sometimes I overeat or sometimes I wouldn't.

01:15:09.920 What would your snack be if you had a destined, like an evening snack, nighttime snack, good night, Kevin, or whatever snack?

01:15:17.040 Now or then?

01:15:18.160 Back then.

01:15:19.280 I used to drink a lot of syrup.

01:15:21.080 Straight syrup?

01:15:22.320 No, I used to mix it with like the pineapple or the pineapple sun kiss.

01:15:29.660 That's when Activist was out.

01:15:31.220 I used it like the cough syrup.

01:15:32.500 I used to mix it with pineapple sun kiss, Sprite, and Mountain Dew.

01:15:36.220 Them was my favorites.

01:15:37.600 Damn, and some syrup?

01:15:38.740 Yeah.

01:15:39.080 What kind of Lowell Cabin Light or whatever?

01:15:41.640 Uh-uh.

01:15:42.380 And then I used to have to eat.

01:15:46.120 What was my thing, my favorite thing to eat?

01:15:48.480 I liked the dim little crust, the uncrustables, the little peanut butter and jelly.

01:15:53.040 I liked the dim.

01:15:54.880 And what else I used to eat?

01:15:58.200 Something else I used to eat all the time.

01:16:02.480 I don't know.

01:16:03.100 Doritos maybe or something?

01:16:04.160 I don't know if it was chicken wings.

01:16:06.140 It was something.

01:16:06.840 I forgot.

01:16:10.120 It was something I used to eat all the time.

01:16:11.920 I forgot.

01:16:12.760 I know it was unhealthy.

01:16:14.040 Whatever it was.

01:16:14.720 But you're talking about drugs.

01:16:15.980 Yeah, I used to do drugs.

01:16:16.620 Codeine syrup.

01:16:17.560 Yeah, codeine.

01:16:18.520 I didn't know what you were talking about at first.

01:16:19.740 Yeah.

01:16:20.260 Wow.

01:16:20.640 And you were addicted to it.

01:16:22.360 I ain't going to say addicted, but I didn't like it.

01:16:25.820 I loved it.

01:16:26.680 Yeah.

01:16:27.440 Yeah.

01:16:27.720 I never went to rehab either.

01:16:32.000 You didn't?

01:16:34.920 Rehab's for quitters.

01:16:36.880 I'm not trying to quit.

01:16:38.120 But you don't do that anymore, though.

01:16:40.720 Because I found a new drug.

01:16:43.180 Fitness.

01:16:44.000 Yeah.

01:16:44.260 My new drug of choice.

01:16:46.000 Do you notice, though, or are you able to notice a different feeling of how much different you feel making those choices?

01:16:51.260 Yeah, I miss choices.

01:16:53.320 Yes.

01:16:53.820 I'm going to be honest.

01:16:54.640 And I hate to say what I'm about to say.

01:16:57.320 When people be like, I miss the old Kevin.

01:17:00.220 I get it.

01:17:01.540 Because I miss the old Eminem when he was on drugs.

01:17:04.900 Yeah.

01:17:05.140 That's the Eminem I like.

01:17:07.800 That's the Eminem I like.

01:17:09.280 I like the Eminem that was on drugs.

01:17:11.460 Oh, yeah.

01:17:11.800 So I know what people mean when they, man, I miss the old Kevin.

01:17:14.980 I'm like, I get it.

01:17:16.580 I get it.

01:17:18.900 Because I miss him too.

01:17:20.940 Yeah.

01:17:21.260 I do.

01:17:21.900 But I'm not about to sacrifice the way I feel for that.

01:17:26.380 Like, I love where I'm at now.

01:17:29.100 Well, I think that's a trap, too, is to stay where you are.

01:17:32.140 You know, it's a trap.

01:17:33.320 Man, you can grow with me or you can grow without me.

01:17:35.900 But either way, it's on with and up with me.

01:17:38.220 But I do get it, though, when people say, man, I miss the old Kevin.

01:17:40.820 I know.

01:17:41.000 Because I miss the old Eminem.

01:17:43.120 I do.

01:17:44.380 I miss the old Eminem.

01:17:46.420 I swear to God, I do.

01:17:47.660 Oh, yeah.

01:17:48.160 I believe that.

01:17:48.980 I miss, there's times in my own life that I miss.

01:17:51.120 There's times in my own life where I felt like I was funnier or, like, had better ideas and stuff.

01:17:55.320 But things just change.

01:17:56.380 And sometimes it's different.

01:17:57.100 No, I like where I'm at now.

01:17:58.980 Yeah?

01:17:59.320 This, I like where I'm at now.

01:18:01.960 Man, I'm a motherfucking supermodel, man.

01:18:04.140 I love where I'm at now.

01:18:06.060 This shit different now.

01:18:07.120 I used to couldn't even do the wheel.

01:18:08.540 But I have where I do that shit effortless.

01:18:10.880 Really?

01:18:11.420 I go jogging in the morning effortless.

01:18:13.560 It's just automatic.

01:18:14.760 When I stretch, it's effortless.

01:18:17.540 When I fuck my bitch, it's just effortless.

01:18:20.560 Wow.

01:18:20.700 And I just, I do everything better.

01:18:23.200 And I hate to say what I just said, but it's the God honest truth.

01:18:26.460 I just, I wouldn't change this for the world.

01:18:28.920 It was time to drink and serve.

01:18:30.060 My dick wouldn't even get hard.

01:18:31.300 Oh, yeah.

01:18:31.980 And not to get off on those sexually related types, but I had erectile dysfunction at 20,

01:18:36.180 what, 23, 24 years old.

01:18:38.840 Yeah.

01:18:39.280 Because of all the drugs I was doing.

01:18:40.800 So, I'm okay.

01:18:43.680 Oh.

01:18:44.100 I would never trade that for this.

01:18:46.180 I love where I'm at now.

01:18:47.740 I can sing better.

01:18:50.100 Like, my singing voice has matured now because I'm not on drugs.

01:18:54.760 So, I love where I'm at now.

01:18:56.500 The music that I make is, I make music that I can work out in the gym to now.

01:19:00.840 So, I, you know, not other, I get it though.

01:19:03.780 I get it.

01:19:04.500 I understand.

01:19:05.560 Yeah.

01:19:06.020 But I don't care.

01:19:08.220 But I understand.

01:19:08.900 Yeah.

01:19:09.100 Yeah.

01:19:09.240 I miss the old Gates, yeah.

01:19:12.860 Oh, dude.

01:19:13.800 Yeah, I think it's.

01:19:14.220 Great.

01:19:15.320 But I think the new Gates is really prophetic.

01:19:21.160 I think the new Gates says some things that are really.

01:19:23.120 Man.

01:19:23.480 I think the new Gates says.

01:19:24.260 Yo, bro.

01:19:24.840 Say, bro, I love you, bro.

01:19:26.360 You scaring me right now.

01:19:27.680 I am?

01:19:28.820 Yeah.

01:19:29.580 Sorry.

01:19:30.440 I don't want to be a prophet.

01:19:33.520 Okay.

01:19:33.940 I want to.

01:19:34.440 That's scary.

01:19:35.920 Yeah, that's true, man.

01:19:37.340 That's scary.

01:19:37.720 When you say shit like that, like, you know, you, that's crazy.

01:19:42.700 Like, you the first person that I ever sat in front of that said that to me.

01:19:47.460 Like, thank you.

01:19:49.860 I love you for being able to see me.

01:19:52.800 But that's scary.

01:19:54.340 Yeah, maybe that's an unnecessary kind of life.

01:19:55.980 And I don't mean it like that.

01:19:57.940 It's somebody else that when they see this, they're going to be like, see, I told you.

01:20:01.420 Because there's some people that argue with me like, I told you you was a prophet.

01:20:04.280 But I'm like, but prophets are perfect.

01:20:07.780 I'm not perfect.

01:20:09.500 Yeah.

01:20:10.700 No, I don't think that.

01:20:11.980 I wouldn't have made it in the book.

01:20:13.800 I tell you, it's a good thing I wasn't around Jesus.

01:20:16.600 I'd have made us look bad.

01:20:18.700 Yeah.

01:20:19.280 Instead of a disciple, you didn't need us.

01:20:20.900 I'd have made us look bad.

01:20:22.280 You know what I said?

01:20:23.160 In general, most, let's get prophets ready.

01:20:25.740 In general, most religious traditions do not consider prophets to be perfect in the sense of being entirely free from error or sin.

01:20:31.880 While they're often revered for the divine connection and ability to convey God's message.

01:20:36.060 There's still a lot of pressure.

01:20:37.940 I just like, man, I like the new bars you have just as much as the old bars, man.

01:20:41.720 That's what I like.

01:20:42.620 At least somebody cares.

01:20:44.060 That's what I like, dude.

01:20:45.260 At least somebody cares.

01:20:46.640 But it's just, and it's not to say that you're wrong for saying that.

01:20:53.240 It's just a few people in my camp, in my circle, they'd be like, you know, you're a prophet, right?

01:20:57.900 And I'm like, no, I don't want to be that.

01:20:59.800 And I guess it's me shying away from the responsibility of that.

01:21:03.220 I don't want that responsibility.

01:21:06.060 If I said something and it helped, take it for what it's worth.

01:21:09.440 I made a bunch of mistakes to get to it.

01:21:11.480 Whatever knowledge and wisdom I gave you, I made a bunch of mistakes to get to that point.

01:21:16.640 But how do you be a parent that was different than how you was parented?

01:21:25.900 Because that's one of the most important things.

01:21:27.580 We could go anywhere.

01:21:29.000 We could go anywhere.

01:21:30.900 Like, because the truth hurts, but it heals.

01:21:34.560 So we could go, we could have any kind of conversation.

01:21:37.640 What makes me a better parent is I was sexually victimized.

01:21:42.180 And I didn't have a safe place to communicate.

01:21:45.100 I created a space for my children to communicate with me.

01:21:49.060 So they say when you work on yourself, you heal seven generations backwards and seven generations forward.

01:21:55.460 And damn, I hate to say this, but somebody before me, they was sexually victimized also.

01:22:04.660 So it was like something that kind of ran in the family.

01:22:08.000 Oh, yeah, like a learned behavior or okay, yeah.

01:22:10.140 It was like they had went through the same thing.

01:22:14.580 And by me creating that space for my children to be able to communicate with me, don't nobody never touch you.

01:22:21.420 You know, you always talk to me.

01:22:24.180 I don't judge my children.

01:22:25.560 As long as you tell me the truth, I'm never going to be upset with you no matter what it is.

01:22:28.880 I'm here to help you figure it out.

01:22:30.500 You know, that's me.

01:22:32.740 So anyway, I broke those generational curses or, excuse me, generational traumas.

01:22:38.280 Let's say that.

01:22:38.960 They're not generational curses, generational traumas.

01:22:41.760 So I broke that.

01:22:43.100 And the reason I don't really speak on it, like, because it was, my family's still kind of healing from that situation.

01:22:52.100 Yeah, that's understood.

01:22:52.520 Like, me and my mother, we got a beautiful relationship now.

01:22:56.160 Like, it's super beautiful.

01:22:57.320 But it was estranged for a while.

01:22:59.060 Yeah.

01:22:59.640 Because I wasn't able to communicate.

01:23:03.060 So now it's beautiful because we communicate.

01:23:06.100 And me going back and forgiving my mother and forgiving myself and things of that nature, you got to realize they didn't know what they was doing.

01:23:16.240 Nobody handed them a pamphlet and said, this is how you rear children.

01:23:19.720 Yeah.

01:23:19.920 So when they hear shocking news like that, the first thing they do, panic.

01:23:24.120 They don't think to act.

01:23:26.400 But me, I think to act.

01:23:28.240 I don't think to just say, oh, God, oh, what?

01:23:31.520 That's not how you stop bullying.

01:23:34.080 Fighting solves everything.

01:23:36.220 I teach my children that.

01:23:37.420 Fighting solves everything.

01:23:39.480 Like, I tell my son, like, if you go to school and if somebody say something to you, don't worry about that.

01:23:44.540 But if somebody put their hands on you, you punch them right in their nose and you don't stop.

01:23:48.840 You keep going.

01:23:50.420 When I come to the school, I'm going to be like, I can't believe you did all this bitch ass shit.

01:23:54.480 I swear to God, I'm going to kill your motherfucking ass.

01:23:56.500 I'm going to do all that.

01:23:57.340 I'm going to make it look good when I get there.

01:23:59.000 Then after that, I'm going to take you and buy you every toy in the store.

01:24:02.440 Because fighting solves everything.

01:24:05.200 You got it.

01:24:05.920 Yeah, you got it.

01:24:06.660 We don't.

01:24:07.000 We don't.

01:24:07.620 What's that coach?

01:24:08.940 That text is saying.

01:24:10.240 What did he say?

01:24:11.180 We don't raise no pussies.

01:24:13.580 Who was that?

01:24:14.920 I forgot his name.

01:24:15.780 The football guy?

01:24:16.340 Yeah.

01:24:17.040 He said, we don't raise no pussies.

01:24:18.820 He died, didn't he?

01:24:20.240 I forgot the coach's name.

01:24:21.520 I just seen that shit.

01:24:22.620 Woody Allen.

01:24:22.880 Yeah, Michael Leach.

01:24:23.700 He was like, we don't raise no pussies.

01:24:25.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:26.240 But that's just one of my biggest things when I can say the way I parent is different.

01:24:32.340 I don't parent like that.

01:24:34.040 I parent different.

01:24:35.880 Like, will you, like, yeah.

01:24:37.380 I parent like Coach Knight.

01:24:39.200 Yeah?

01:24:40.380 But, yeah, I parent like Coach Knight.

01:24:45.260 I parent like a coach.

01:24:46.960 Okay.

01:24:48.160 My grandfather was like a coach.

01:24:49.980 Like, that tough love, that's how I parent.

01:24:53.740 Yeah, I think people don't realize, like, how they look at their children, too, is important.

01:24:56.980 If you always look at your child with, like, will you go do that or this is wrong or something,

01:25:01.560 then they feel like something is always wrong, right?

01:25:04.660 Like, the look you put into your child's eyes.

01:25:07.240 Like, your child is kind of like a cup and you're like a pitcher.

01:25:09.660 Well, it is accountability going on.

01:25:11.580 Like, they have to make their beds.

01:25:13.100 They have to go to school.

01:25:14.040 They have to do these things.

01:25:15.100 And if not, then you can't play the game.

01:25:16.900 Right.

01:25:17.220 You're going to have to take accountability.

01:25:18.820 Like, my son and my daughter know.

01:25:20.680 And my daughter, she not even 13 yet.

01:25:23.180 She came to me and told me, Daddy, is there anything I could help do around the house

01:25:28.140 to make your life more easier?

01:25:29.660 Like, one of her choices is you keep the kitchen clean.

01:25:32.240 Still got to make your bed.

01:25:33.300 Still got to go to school.

01:25:34.080 But you keep the kitchen clean.

01:25:35.160 My son, you got to make your bed.

01:25:37.240 Still got to go to school.

01:25:38.180 But you make sure the trash put out.

01:25:39.940 And I just give them little jobs.

01:25:41.420 Yeah.

01:25:42.100 And then you earn your wages.

01:25:45.580 Yeah.

01:25:46.320 I pay them.

01:25:47.160 I pay them $250 a week.

01:25:48.700 Do you really?

01:25:49.460 $250?

01:25:50.480 Yeah.

01:25:50.840 God damn, bruh.

01:25:53.080 I pay them $250 a week.

01:25:55.020 You want Robux?

01:25:56.240 You want that?

01:25:56.900 You know, I pay them.

01:25:59.400 Wow.

01:26:00.760 Damn, they could have a-

01:26:01.580 But they work.

01:26:02.380 Oh, yeah.

01:26:03.160 They could have a Chevy sedan by September.

01:26:05.140 That's a good amount of money.

01:26:06.520 Yeah.

01:26:06.820 My daughter, she like into the furry costumes.

01:26:10.080 Mm-hmm.

01:26:10.720 They be dressing up like, don't kill me because I don't want to say it because she real defensive

01:26:15.420 about this.

01:26:16.020 No, Dad.

01:26:16.900 It's not.

01:26:17.380 That's what it's called.

01:26:18.100 It's called this.

01:26:18.680 I don't know the name of it, but they dress up like animals.

01:26:23.400 I did it one time with her.

01:26:24.860 Okay.

01:26:25.080 And that was my way of like going into her world, and she was like, I want to post a video

01:26:29.560 that me and you did on TikTok, but I'm scared people are going to hate on it.

01:26:33.100 I said, promise me you're going to do one thing.

01:26:34.880 She said, what?

01:26:36.160 I heard Floyd Mayweather say this.

01:26:38.260 He said, no matter what you do, if you do something good, if you do something bad, if

01:26:43.200 you do something for yourself or you do something for other people, people are going to always

01:26:47.120 have something to say about you.

01:26:48.500 So just promise me that you're going to make yourself happy.

01:26:51.400 Oh, yeah.

01:26:51.760 That's me right there.

01:26:52.840 Which one?

01:26:53.320 I'm about to come in on the furry.

01:26:54.500 Yeah.

01:26:54.700 That's me right there.

01:26:55.400 Look.

01:26:56.580 Kevin.

01:26:57.040 Yeah.

01:26:57.200 That's beautiful, man.

01:26:58.660 Ooh.

01:27:00.020 Ooh.

01:27:00.340 Wow.

01:27:01.060 And what animal is that?

01:27:03.720 I don't know what I was.

01:27:05.020 I think I was like a little wolf or something.

01:27:07.400 Yeah.

01:27:07.680 That's a damn little Cajun wolf.

01:27:09.580 And then, so she was afraid to post it, but then once she posted it, the shit went viral.

01:27:16.200 Like, because she was already lit in the furry community.

01:27:19.360 Oh, I see what you're saying.

01:27:20.160 I hope I'm saying it right.

01:27:21.040 Easily, if you're watching me, don't.

01:27:22.340 Yeah, young lady, we're just trying to-

01:27:24.860 I love you.

01:27:25.380 Your father's just honoring what you guys got going on there.

01:27:27.920 But that was my way of going into her world.

01:27:29.980 Right.

01:27:30.600 And saying, look, I'm proud of what I do.

01:27:32.100 I spend time with my daughter.

01:27:33.600 Yeah.

01:27:33.960 Yeah, like-

01:27:35.260 It's important.

01:27:35.900 I'm proud of them.

01:27:37.040 Like, just telling them you love them every day.

01:27:39.440 Hugging on them and letting them know that I'm proud of you.

01:27:41.520 Oh, yeah.

01:27:42.520 Like, that reassurance.

01:27:44.180 Oh, dude.

01:27:44.720 They're not afraid to make me mad.

01:27:46.360 You know what they're afraid to do?

01:27:48.140 Disappoint me.

01:27:49.480 The same way I'm afraid to disappoint God, they're afraid to disappoint me.

01:27:54.720 Yeah, that relationship is just so important, man.

01:27:57.320 It's so important, you know?

01:27:58.440 So, like, yeah, I remember, oh, I was so angry as a kid, man.

01:28:05.960 I wish I'd have had that relationship.

01:28:07.820 I used to get angry.

01:28:08.760 Like, if I see somebody spending time with their father playing basketball, I'd be like,

01:28:13.080 bitch ass.

01:28:13.740 Yeah.

01:28:14.120 Because I wanted it.

01:28:15.420 But now I am that.

01:28:17.920 And then I can't be upset with my real father because we had some beautiful times together.

01:28:23.040 Oh, yeah.

01:28:24.020 We had some beautiful times together.

01:28:26.100 The times we had.

01:28:27.260 Yeah.

01:28:28.600 What was a special time?

01:28:29.740 My mom, I remember one time, so my mom delivered, like, newspapers and stuff, you know?

01:28:33.280 So, one time, I think I got sick.

01:28:37.460 I couldn't go to school, but she had to work, and so I got to go on her route with her.

01:28:42.180 And she would go, and then we took a ride.

01:28:45.400 We went out over by Picayune, and we went.

01:28:48.640 They had a Wendy's over there, and we got a Wendy's sandwich over there.

01:28:51.880 And it was, like, the only time I ever remember doing something just me and my mom.

01:28:55.120 But I remembered us everything about it, how I was sitting, what we were doing, just, we had, like, a nice day together, you know?

01:29:02.880 And, but I had to get sick at school to even just, because my mom always had to work.

01:29:07.060 So, I'm not, like, whining about it.

01:29:08.920 It's just, like, but I remember that it was important to me, you know?

01:29:11.820 As we get older, sometimes it let us know that the act of love that they had coming from where we come from was them sacrificing time with us to make sure that we had food on the table.

01:29:26.780 It's looking at it in hindsight.

01:29:29.680 That's a good point.

01:29:30.340 Make me, like, damn, like, I appreciate you more.

01:29:32.720 Like, even my children understand.

01:29:34.540 Like, in October, I'm going on tour.

01:29:36.540 I love y'all, but I got to go do this.

01:29:39.760 But I love y'all.

01:29:40.680 Right.

01:29:41.280 So, I spend as much time as I can with y'all, but also, I got to go do this in October.

01:29:46.820 But I love y'all.

01:29:48.240 Yeah, for me to have a new perspective instead of, man, I bet my mom didn't want to leave me to go to work.

01:29:53.800 Instead, I'm thinking.

01:29:54.600 What parent does.

01:29:55.460 Right.

01:29:55.800 Nobody leaves earth saying, hey, I should have, wish I could have spent more time throwing the papers out, delivering the papers.

01:30:03.120 Everybody leave, even the most, the richest business men on earth, they leave and say, I wish I could have spent more time with my family.

01:30:10.180 Yeah.

01:30:10.680 But it's beautiful because it's about balance.

01:30:12.920 And I don't beat myself up for the time that I'm not there.

01:30:15.860 I understand that they understand.

01:30:18.780 Because I talk to them.

01:30:20.180 Yeah.

01:30:20.340 I don't baby talk.

01:30:21.540 I talk to them regular.

01:30:23.120 Yeah.

01:30:23.320 I think that's the biggest thing is communicating what's going on, probably, you know.

01:30:27.840 What, yeah, what's different about your tour this time?

01:30:30.680 How do you feel about it?

01:30:31.820 Like, do you notice that that changes for you as you grow up?

01:30:34.620 What's different about my tour this time?

01:30:37.160 Because in October it starts, yeah.

01:30:38.600 Me.

01:30:40.860 Me.

01:30:41.760 It's just another.

01:30:42.440 I'm different.

01:30:44.180 I'm not the same person I was last year.

01:30:46.380 I'm better.

01:30:47.020 Okay.

01:30:48.180 Way better.

01:30:49.500 And, man, I could go down the list.

01:30:54.380 But I could say one of the biggest things, I start giving myself grace.

01:31:00.700 I don't beat myself up no more.

01:31:02.360 I used to beat myself up.

01:31:05.400 Yeah.

01:31:06.660 What would you say, like, in your head, what would that be like, you think?

01:31:10.220 You, I beat myself up.

01:31:13.000 I, the way I would beat myself up is I would replay something I did and it'll bring shame

01:31:18.920 till I almost cringe when I think about it.

01:31:21.680 Like, yeah.

01:31:22.800 Like, no, man.

01:31:24.040 Players, like, I tell myself, like, I, excuse me, you probably don't know this.

01:31:28.960 I talk to myself.

01:31:30.280 Okay.

01:31:30.920 All geniuses talk to theyself.

01:31:33.540 And ever since I read that, it kind of gave me the green light to start talking to myself

01:31:38.280 more.

01:31:38.980 But if I do something, I'd be like, players fuck up, too.

01:31:42.860 Oh, yeah.

01:31:43.580 Players fuck up, too.

01:31:44.620 Players do fuck up.

01:31:45.780 Players fuck up, too.

01:31:46.960 And I always tell myself, I'm like, players fuck up, too.

01:31:49.980 Learn from your mistakes.

01:31:50.920 Don't make them no more.

01:31:51.680 Oh, yeah.

01:31:51.980 And I talk to myself.

01:31:53.180 I used to be hard on myself.

01:31:54.900 Like, like a coach.

01:31:56.040 Like, hey, bitch.

01:31:57.360 Yeah.

01:31:57.920 But I still, I'm still like a coach in the gym.

01:32:00.040 Get in there, bitch.

01:32:01.100 I'd be like, hey, hey, hey, the weights ain't gonna push theyself.

01:32:04.880 Yeah.

01:32:05.480 All right.

01:32:05.840 You know what I'm saying?

01:32:06.720 You got enough strength to do that, but you ain't got enough strength to lift the cover

01:32:09.360 and get up and go to the gym.

01:32:10.420 You know what I'm saying?

01:32:11.000 So it's just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm more like motivational toward myself with that.

01:32:20.840 But if I, if it's a, because, you know, you have moments that might come up from the past

01:32:25.800 and it might just come up in your, in your mental inventory.

01:32:28.860 And then when it come up, instead of running from it.

01:32:30.800 All the time I go like that.

01:32:31.800 Instead of, yeah, I do that all the time.

01:32:33.840 And then you know what I start doing?

01:32:35.240 I sit with it, man.

01:32:37.600 Play us fuck up too.

01:32:39.100 That shit ain't nothing.

01:32:40.620 You the only one remember that, Kevin.

01:32:42.180 Don't nobody else even remember that shit.

01:32:43.840 That's crazy.

01:32:44.700 Don't nobody remember that shit.

01:32:45.900 The only thing keeping that feet, that, that messed up moment alive is you.

01:32:49.420 Yeah.

01:32:49.760 I'm giving energy to that bullshit, man.

01:32:51.780 Play us fuck up too, man.

01:32:52.860 I'm fly.

01:32:53.740 Play us fuck up too, bro.

01:32:54.920 Play us fuck up too, man.

01:32:56.240 I might walk out of here and trip, but I'm going to make, hey, it's going to be a fly.

01:32:59.900 When I trip, I might trip and do a little dance move or something.

01:33:02.740 It's going to be a fly trip when I trip.

01:33:05.380 Ain't nobody trip better than me.

01:33:07.800 Yeah, man.

01:33:08.580 That's a really beautiful little trip.

01:33:10.260 Play us fuck up too, man.

01:33:11.540 Dude, if I see you trip, I'm going to be like, man, play us fuck up.

01:33:14.100 Hey, that's graceful, bro.

01:33:15.680 Play us fuck up too.

01:33:15.960 I'm going to laugh at myself.

01:33:17.240 Yeah.

01:33:17.880 I don't care who see me make a mistake.

01:33:20.340 I've been on stage sometimes.

01:33:22.000 Make a mistake.

01:33:22.560 Hey, excuse me.

01:33:23.220 I just made a mistake.

01:33:24.560 Hey, the beautiful thing about mistakes is it's okay for people to see you make a mistake.

01:33:28.140 Just don't never let a motherfucker see you quit.

01:33:31.080 You're going to watch me make mistakes, but you ain't going to never watch me quit.

01:33:35.700 Hell yeah.

01:33:36.520 Like I tell people, I still don't get tired.

01:33:40.400 I've been up since 3.30.

01:33:41.860 Oh, yeah.

01:33:42.040 I've heard that in your song too.

01:33:43.080 Yeah, I still don't get tired.

01:33:44.440 I've been up since like 3.30 this morning.

01:33:47.340 Dang, bro.

01:33:48.720 I'm fucking fired up all of a sudden.

01:33:51.220 Energy only translate to more energy.

01:33:54.140 Is that true?

01:33:55.160 Yeah.

01:33:55.480 Like energy translate to more energy.

01:33:58.560 Now, once I go eat my meal, I'm supposed to be having a 20 million.

01:34:03.400 I'm supposed to be having dinner tonight.

01:34:05.100 Oh.

01:34:05.540 That's what I had on this suit.

01:34:06.540 Okay.

01:34:06.900 It's nice.

01:34:07.460 Yeah.

01:34:07.720 Yeah.

01:34:07.900 I'm supposed to be having dinner.

01:34:09.860 But, uh, 20 million.

01:34:13.960 Yeah.

01:34:14.120 But, uh, you got a date for dinner now?

01:34:18.080 I'm supposed to be having dinner.

01:34:19.020 But after I get, after I eat that meal, kind of get some good rest.

01:34:23.280 Oh, I love that.

01:34:24.780 I love getting a good rest.

01:34:25.900 Do you have, um, I'm going to ask you a couple more things before you go.

01:34:29.880 You, you have a, you are religious man.

01:34:35.620 Religious smidges.

01:34:37.380 Yeah.

01:34:38.540 Religious smidges.

01:34:40.220 But yeah, I guess.

01:34:42.520 Or do you feel like a, because people say that you're a Muslim man.

01:34:45.040 I'm going to be honest, I'm spiritual.

01:34:47.200 Okay.

01:34:48.420 I'm spiritual.

01:34:49.320 But like, the word Muslim in Arabic, it only means believer.

01:34:53.180 Right.

01:34:53.720 So I'm a believer, but I'm very spiritual.

01:34:56.820 Got it.

01:34:57.180 Like, I believe spirituality is, if I walk in a room and something don't feel right, and

01:35:04.200 I leave, something bad happened, I believe I was guided by God to leave.

01:35:10.180 I done been in a club in New York.

01:35:12.260 I'm like, come on, let's go.

01:35:14.280 We go outside.

01:35:15.100 As soon as we go outside, a fight breakout, somebody gets shot.

01:35:17.820 But I just felt like it was time to go.

01:35:22.100 And I've just always been like that.

01:35:24.180 Why do you think it's so hard for us to step into what we really believe we want?

01:35:28.400 Because when I hear you say that, that's what it hits me as.

01:35:30.920 I've been saying that, though.

01:35:32.040 I say it in my song.

01:35:33.180 I say it when Allah said, my new wife will pray together, and I'm going to keep her sacred.

01:35:37.180 I say that in the song, so I manifested this.

01:35:40.300 I didn't know it was going to be her.

01:35:41.720 But as men, why do you think it's so hard for a lot of men to just, yeah, it's like,

01:35:47.060 man, I'm just so tired of everything that's not, means something.

01:35:51.200 Because you don't get fulfillment.

01:35:53.620 I done had more holes than clothes.

01:35:55.860 I never got no fulfillment from having a bunch of different women.

01:35:58.700 That shit is stressful.

01:36:00.120 It's vexating to my spirit.

01:36:01.760 It don't give me no fulfillment.

01:36:03.320 A lot of men ain't going to say that.

01:36:05.260 And then I've been on a semen retention journey for the last, what, maybe five years I talked

01:36:10.180 about, like, retaining the life force, retaining the semen, not watching porn, not jacking

01:36:15.120 out, taking that sexual energy and transmuting it into something else.

01:36:19.780 So if I have a craving to go jack off or I'm horny or whatever you want to call it, I go

01:36:25.640 to the gym or I go to the studio.

01:36:27.700 I transmute that energy into something else.

01:36:30.800 And most people that's out here jacking off.

01:36:33.860 Man, you realize, though, when you see dudes with a lot of women, but them dudes be stressed

01:36:37.660 out.

01:36:38.580 Like, you know what I'm saying?

01:36:39.600 Man, as a man, you're going to see shit that you're going to look, but at the same

01:36:43.060 time, you ain't going to help me on my mission.

01:36:46.640 You're going to take away.

01:36:48.500 You ain't going to add value to me.

01:36:49.860 You're going to take from me.

01:36:52.060 You know, behind closed doors, do you speak life into me?

01:36:54.560 Do you help me become greater?

01:36:56.260 Are you helping me become greater?

01:36:58.320 Like, it don't really be that.

01:37:00.640 And if you are helping me become greater, are you helping me become greater for me?

01:37:04.700 Or are you helping me become greater for you?

01:37:06.600 Or are you manipulating me?

01:37:09.540 Or are you verbally abusive to me behind closed doors?

01:37:12.140 You know what I'm saying?

01:37:12.860 Like, are you using my flaws against me?

01:37:16.060 You know, there's a lot of women that'll do that, too.

01:37:17.980 And no, excuse me.

01:37:19.100 I can't say women.

01:37:20.520 It's a lot of people that'll do that.

01:37:22.020 Oh, for sure.

01:37:22.360 Because I done had men do that, too, like bring up stuff from the past and try to hold

01:37:26.980 it against me to keep you within whatever kind of energetic construct that they have

01:37:32.320 for you because they need your energy.

01:37:34.760 See, everybody's life is great, but we suffer.

01:37:38.740 So that's why I'm at with it right now.

01:37:42.180 Yeah, that seems to be something that's kind of vexing our community.

01:37:45.120 I wasn't even going to talk about this, but shit, you the one.

01:37:48.980 You got it all, bitch.

01:37:50.420 Oh, I wasn't even trying to get anything.

01:37:51.580 I'm just trying to survive.

01:37:52.240 I already know, but it's like, this is going to be healing for somebody.

01:37:55.420 Oh, it's healing for me.

01:37:56.180 That's why I'm curious about it.

01:37:57.720 It's like, because I'm sick of like, you know, in my own life.

01:38:00.380 But also, I'm the one keeping me there.

01:38:02.060 That's the crazy thing.

01:38:03.220 It's like, I have the ability to change things, and I do a good job.

01:38:06.300 I say in my song, I'm only excited about spiritual things, and I swear I can't wait to move on.

01:38:13.240 I'm only excited about spiritual things.

01:38:15.800 Yeah, I think I'm just amazed sometimes that, I don't know, but I'm also, you know, I got a late start sometimes.

01:38:22.580 Man.

01:38:23.100 I got a late start.

01:38:23.860 I'm 39.

01:38:25.800 I just look, you know what I'm saying?

01:38:27.500 Oh, yeah.

01:38:28.000 I just don't age.

01:38:28.760 I'm 39, though.

01:38:30.120 So, I feel like it's never too late.

01:38:32.080 Yeah.

01:38:33.760 It's never too late.

01:38:35.540 But when you said that about all the women, that shit was draining.

01:38:40.820 Yeah, well, just, I have so many of my friends, like, I'm going on this date.

01:38:43.920 I don't care.

01:38:44.480 Just like, well, what are we doing?

01:38:46.020 And then you have people, it's like you're giving yourself away to people.

01:38:48.860 And I'm not accusing anybody.

01:38:49.760 That's what I'm talking about myself and my own life.

01:38:52.240 And then it's just.

01:38:52.840 Tell me about it.

01:38:53.780 Yeah.

01:38:54.300 Tell me about it.

01:38:55.240 And it's like, what kind of journey am I making?

01:38:56.940 What am I really building here?

01:38:58.420 And then another word, once I start operating and looking for reciprocation, it shouldn't

01:39:04.000 cost anything.

01:39:06.220 If I fuck with you, it shouldn't cost anything.

01:39:09.660 If you fuck with me, it shouldn't cost us anything.

01:39:12.800 It should be reciprocated.

01:39:14.480 The energy that I'm giving you should be reciprocated.

01:39:17.340 If it's not reciprocated, then you're not nobody that I even need to know.

01:39:20.340 And a lot of times, when you look at relationships, I could be somebody's best friend, but they're

01:39:27.720 not my best friend.

01:39:29.720 It's not the energy not being reciprocated.

01:39:32.560 And a lot of people are victims of that, being in relationships that are one-sided.

01:39:37.720 The door don't really swing both ways.

01:39:40.100 It may look like it's swing both ways, but it don't.

01:39:42.940 Yeah, it's just a trap, too.

01:39:46.100 I mean, a lot of the sex, the dating, just the pornography, because that's been something

01:39:50.500 I've dealt with, you know?

01:39:51.440 When you stop watching porn, it's going to change everything.

01:39:54.200 Yeah.

01:39:54.980 It's going to change the way you have sex.

01:39:57.180 Once you realize these people are acting, this is fake.

01:40:00.440 Yeah.

01:40:00.720 This is not real.

01:40:01.400 This is not a connection.

01:40:02.420 This is bullshit.

01:40:04.420 No disrespect to people that do porn.

01:40:06.540 It's just...

01:40:06.820 But they know it.

01:40:07.480 They know it's fake.

01:40:08.520 You know, they know it's...

01:40:09.380 That's just not my cup of tea.

01:40:10.600 That just ain't no...

01:40:12.000 Like, how a man told me, he was like, you jacking off to another man's success.

01:40:18.260 Like, I ain't fucking that bitch.

01:40:19.680 Dang, that's crazy.

01:40:20.900 God.

01:40:21.560 Oh, my God.

01:40:22.100 I'm jacking off to watching another man's success.

01:40:24.780 I'm not doing this.

01:40:25.960 It is kind of crazy, huh?

01:40:28.220 When you think about that.

01:40:28.940 If you really think about it, it's psychotic in nature.

01:40:32.340 And then you got to hide and sneak to do it.

01:40:34.360 Oh.

01:40:35.500 They got some people probably just go do it publicly, but...

01:40:38.160 I ain't doing that.

01:40:38.720 You got to sneak and do it.

01:40:39.940 Yeah, I sneak and do it.

01:40:40.580 And then under the guise of, I'm having me time.

01:40:42.960 Yeah.

01:40:43.280 But then after you do it, you feel guilty.

01:40:46.240 You feel horrible.

01:40:47.200 Like, damn, why I did that?

01:40:48.960 Because that was precious life for us.

01:40:50.540 I just wasted on somebody else's success.

01:40:53.760 God dang it.

01:40:55.860 Listen, I've been there.

01:40:57.500 I've been there.

01:40:58.220 I know about it, so I've been there.

01:40:59.720 And what was the thing that got you out of that?

01:41:01.640 Like, how'd you able to stop that specifically, even?

01:41:03.820 I took baby steps.

01:41:04.920 I was like, I'm only going to release on Fridays.

01:41:08.140 Okay.

01:41:09.400 Shabbat, shaboom, huh?

01:41:10.720 And I started saying, well, maybe this is my creative energy.

01:41:15.680 When you release your life for it, that's your creative energy.

01:41:19.480 So I'm not going to release my creative energy.

01:41:21.600 Like, when you're boxing, are you preparing for a fight?

01:41:24.980 While I'm working on this album, I ain't going to release no semen.

01:41:27.840 Or while I'm doing this, I ain't going to release.

01:41:29.400 And it just, I became better and better and better.

01:41:31.860 But it was baby steps.

01:41:33.180 I ain't just start off just saying cold turkey.

01:41:35.480 Yeah.

01:41:36.280 But by the time, it was like, man.

01:41:38.920 It's semen has babies in it, which is crazy.

01:41:40.520 Yeah, if I ain't getting no.

01:41:41.160 And you're taking baby steps.

01:41:42.100 Yeah, if I ain't getting no pussy, that's wrong.

01:41:45.580 If I ain't getting no pussy shit, I ain't no shit.

01:41:48.420 Yeah, what am I doing?

01:41:49.460 I can wait.

01:41:50.460 Yeah, I can wait.

01:41:51.520 That's the thing.

01:41:52.040 It's just that relationship with yourself, you know?

01:41:54.060 And having conversations with yourself.

01:41:56.060 Like, what am I doing?

01:41:57.240 What would I really like to do?

01:41:58.960 And then how do I get through this?

01:42:00.180 You respect yourself different.

01:42:01.560 Yeah, your integrity changes a lot.

01:42:02.600 Like, I respect myself different now that I don't even play around like that.

01:42:06.120 Yeah.

01:42:06.440 I respect myself different now.

01:42:08.220 And when you show up, people can, here's the funny thing, people can see the integrity

01:42:13.220 you have for yourself.

01:42:13.700 You know what people tell me?

01:42:15.340 They say, your aura is big.

01:42:18.320 I'm like, I don't know why.

01:42:21.240 And they were like, what kind of practices do you do?

01:42:23.180 And I say, I practice semen retention.

01:42:24.840 Yeah.

01:42:25.180 It's my precious life force.

01:42:27.200 And they was like, that's what it is.

01:42:30.240 You have a glow.

01:42:31.740 That's bad.

01:42:32.180 Yeah.

01:42:32.980 That's that semen.

01:42:33.760 Damn.

01:42:35.000 It's your life force.

01:42:36.680 Oh, yeah.

01:42:37.080 It's everything you are.

01:42:37.940 It's your truth.

01:42:38.500 It's your script.

01:42:39.500 Yes.

01:42:40.520 It's your, I mean, that is, and it's not even your script.

01:42:42.840 It's a script of all your ancestors.

01:42:44.480 Just wasting it in a sock.

01:42:46.200 And you, yeah, you blasting it out here in a dang church sock too at times.

01:42:50.360 God.

01:42:51.120 Oh, my God.

01:42:52.000 I forgive myself.

01:42:54.180 Yeah, you're right, man.

01:42:55.340 Because sometimes I'll have that shame feeling.

01:42:57.320 All the misfires, I forgive myself.

01:42:59.640 Yeah.

01:43:00.400 We learn from our mistakes.

01:43:01.680 We move on.

01:43:03.980 But somebody needed to hear this.

01:43:05.920 No, I think somebody did today.

01:43:07.280 And I think, you know what, I think it's like we need more leaders in the community to say things like that.

01:43:12.880 We have to get, I don't know, we got to do, something has to start to be different, I feel like.

01:43:17.680 The greatest teachers teach without teaching.

01:43:20.500 Yeah, you're right.

01:43:21.560 The greatest teachers teach without teaching.

01:43:23.300 So when the student is ready to learn, the teacher will appear.

01:43:26.720 You'll be amazed where wisdom could come from.

01:43:29.660 Yeah.

01:43:29.960 Even the homeless person standing on the street corner, the smell bad, the person that you would be afraid of, the person that you would look down upon, one of those people, the wisdom and the knowledge that they can impute, you would be amazed.

01:43:42.820 Oh, yeah, they got bars over there.

01:43:46.840 I don't care what you do with the money, just, you know, I committed to act of giving.

01:43:51.600 He's just going to buy drugs with it.

01:43:53.060 I committed to act of giving.

01:43:54.380 Whatever he do, that's his choice.

01:43:55.920 Now, one lady made me mad, though, because she was holding a sign, talking about she'll work for food.

01:44:01.020 And I gave her a sandwich.

01:44:02.160 Yeah.

01:44:02.400 And she put it in her book set.

01:44:04.700 And then I said, you know what?

01:44:06.440 Maybe she had children to go feed, but I don't know, like.

01:44:12.100 Yeah.

01:44:13.000 What, she thinks you're going to sell it or something?

01:44:14.440 Maybe you had children to go feed or something.

01:44:16.780 So I was like, I did overreact because I got pissed off.

01:44:19.880 Kevin, not everybody eats immediately when you serve them.

01:44:22.200 I mean, you know, maybe she was saving it for later.

01:44:24.560 I don't know.

01:44:25.020 Yeah.

01:44:25.400 Maybe she got baby birds in a nest or something.

01:44:27.500 I don't know.

01:44:28.100 Maybe she got saving it for her kids or something.

01:44:30.140 And I just said, you know what?

01:44:31.400 I ain't tripping.

01:44:32.400 Whatever you do with it is on you, I committed to active giving.

01:44:35.360 Probably so, Kevin.

01:44:36.260 I bet.

01:44:37.340 Yeah.

01:44:37.560 I think she probably was doing something nice, hopefully.

01:44:40.260 I hope so.

01:44:41.300 Yeah.

01:44:41.780 I bet she was, man.

01:44:42.400 I hope you ain't take advantage of me.

01:44:44.100 Yeah.

01:44:44.260 But if you did, that's your car medic bag.

01:44:46.940 Right.

01:44:47.140 I did what I did.

01:44:47.560 I did the right thing.

01:44:48.320 Right.

01:44:48.560 I did what I did.

01:44:49.700 Yeah.

01:44:49.980 Kind of like, man, I think one interesting thing is like, yeah, we just, we need, we got

01:44:55.340 to have leaders making things cool, you know?

01:44:59.280 I think it's why it's one, to me, and this might be.

01:45:03.400 I guess I'm afraid to say this probably, because it's probably.

01:45:06.060 Ready, set, go.

01:45:07.360 I think it's cool that, to have a black man say something about that, because black people

01:45:12.520 notoriously, I feel like, make things cool, right?

01:45:15.060 Like, people go to the black community to make something cool.

01:45:17.220 Like, you give a, you give a metal plate in it to somebody in a black community, then

01:45:21.560 they got a rim out of it.

01:45:22.900 You know what I'm saying?

01:45:23.260 They make things cool.

01:45:24.740 So, I think to hear a black guy.

01:45:26.420 Creativity thrives in the darkness.

01:45:28.560 Okay.

01:45:29.300 Well said.

01:45:30.220 You didn't say anything wrong.

01:45:31.600 Okay.

01:45:31.860 So, I think to hear a black guy say that, to act certain ways, I think that makes it

01:45:37.440 cool, because we all take, I feel like a lot of culture comes from, what's cool comes

01:45:43.020 from the black community.

01:45:45.480 Creativity thrives in the darkness.

01:45:47.380 So, I just.

01:45:48.040 So, you're not saying nothing wrong.

01:45:49.200 Okay.

01:45:49.880 Yeah, I think it's, yeah.

01:45:51.880 It makes it cool, you know?

01:45:53.580 And we need, we need things that, like, I think have moral value and integrity to be

01:45:57.300 cool.

01:45:58.100 Like, like, I watch anime, because they have more moralistic value than regular movies.

01:46:05.240 Yeah.

01:46:06.400 So, I watch a lot of anime.

01:46:08.080 I don't watch a lot of it.

01:46:09.380 Israel Adesanya watches a lot of it.

01:46:11.240 You know who he is, the UFC fighter?

01:46:13.100 The last style bender.

01:46:14.220 Yeah, he's incredible, dude.

01:46:15.940 The last style bender, yeah.

01:46:18.000 You and him, you and him would be such a neat, I mean, you guys are, I mean, both humans,

01:46:22.360 so, whatever, I don't know what I'm talking about.

01:46:25.980 I'm trying to think of anything else we want to talk about.

01:46:27.340 You have a new tour coming up.

01:46:28.820 Yeah, a new tour coming up.

01:46:30.300 I got coffee.

01:46:31.520 You had a new album that came out on my birthday, I think, March 19th or something,

01:46:35.500 you had one come out?

01:46:36.400 I'm here, nah.

01:46:37.280 I'm him too.

01:46:37.860 I'm him too.

01:46:39.400 Yeah, I'm trying to think, is there anything else that you wanted to talk about today?

01:46:42.360 If anybody watched this and they gained any insight, I'm grateful for that.

01:46:51.460 If you didn't gain any insight, I could give a fuck less.

01:46:55.120 That's fair.

01:46:59.680 That's it, that's all.

01:47:00.700 That's it, that's all.

01:47:01.580 Whenever I drop an album, I'm like, get it.

01:47:03.980 If you want it, get it.

01:47:05.040 If you don't, don't get it.

01:47:07.000 Like, I'm not here to force you.

01:47:08.560 If you want it, get it.

01:47:09.640 If you don't want to get it, don't get it.

01:47:11.460 It's already going to do what it's going to do.

01:47:13.120 Yeah.

01:47:13.360 I didn't do, I can say this, this album that I put out, this last one, I was proud of it.

01:47:21.780 Usually I'm upset when a project come out, I'm like, I wasn't happy, this and this and

01:47:28.320 that, whenever a release, but this time I was like, I celebrated myself the whole way

01:47:33.180 through, and I was like, man, I love this project.

01:47:36.660 Like, one of my other projects, I go back and appreciate them after the next one come

01:47:40.740 out, but now this one, I'm like, nah, I fuck with this one all the way through.

01:47:44.280 Why do you think that was?

01:47:45.660 Because I'm in a different space.

01:47:48.360 Like, I don't make depression music anymore.

01:47:51.240 And then if I do make depression music, I'm just venting.

01:47:55.600 It's my therapeutic release.

01:47:57.280 I got it all out.

01:47:58.560 I know there's somebody out there that could relate to what I'm going through, but this

01:48:01.800 is how we combat that.

01:48:03.240 Let's go on with an upward.

01:48:04.260 That's it, that's all.

01:48:06.180 I don't stay stuck in a sunken place.

01:48:08.880 Nah.

01:48:09.240 Yeah, I don't stay stuck in a, I don't stay stuck, I don't stay stuck in a sunken place.

01:48:14.600 I don't stay stuck in a sunken place.

01:48:16.760 Amen.

01:48:17.260 I'm going to snap out of it quick.

01:48:19.140 That's it.

01:48:19.700 Nothing changes if nothing changes, they say, man.

01:48:21.860 Nothing changes if nothing changes.

01:48:23.380 Yes, sir.

01:48:24.740 Kevin Gates, man, the proud of Louisiana.

01:48:27.300 Thank you so much, man, for spending time with me today, man.

01:48:29.660 It's a blessing.

01:48:30.260 I really appreciate it.

01:48:31.420 Thank you for having me.

01:48:32.340 And I just want to tell you this sincerely, I mean it sincerely, and thank you for being

01:48:36.320 you.

01:48:37.340 This was like the most different type of interview, podcast, whatever you want to call it.

01:48:42.860 It was just like, we was just talking shit.

01:48:46.340 Like, but it was beautiful because not too many people could see me, like really see me.

01:48:53.180 Yeah.

01:48:53.780 And I just appreciate you for that.

01:48:55.640 Usually when I go places, I have to meet the person at the level of the person.

01:49:00.500 I had to see where they at and just, but with this, it was like the transparency was beautiful.

01:49:06.220 It was refreshing talking to you.

01:49:07.720 Like I lost track of time.

01:49:09.320 If you have a watch when I go other places, I have to meet the person at the level they

01:49:13.380 at.

01:49:14.020 And I hate what I'm about to say, but it's the truth.

01:49:17.020 I look at my watch to keep time.

01:49:19.240 I didn't do that one time here because it was refreshing.

01:49:23.180 It's refreshing.

01:49:23.940 Well, I appreciate you sharing yourself with the world, sharing what's going on in your

01:49:27.380 head and your spirit with the world, man.

01:49:29.040 It's been, some of the things you say make me think, and I appreciate that because I

01:49:33.580 think me having taken time to think is more important than I knew it needed to be for

01:49:40.440 myself.

01:49:41.980 Yeah.

01:49:43.380 So thank you very much, Mr. Gates.

01:49:45.040 Thank you for having me.

01:49:45.940 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be.

01:49:53.940 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:50:03.220 I can feel it in my bones, but it's going to tell you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 01, 2025

#593 - Kevin Gates

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