This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 6-5-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #24

00:00:00.000 Happy Monday, you little nickel-plated nutsacks. It's about that time again. 1.00

00:00:04.840 You've been eating cat cocks all weekend, huh? 0.58

00:00:07.720 You've been cracking open a crusty can of cat cocks?

00:00:11.700 Well, meow, it's your boy about to sherpa you up this mad mountain of Monday-ness.

00:00:19.200 You guys ready? Do you think I have Michael Landon on my shirt?

00:00:22.360 Well, welcome to This Past Weekend.

00:00:28.020 This Past Weekend

00:00:30.880 You hear that?

00:00:53.780 That's the Cambridge twang. That's what that song is.

00:00:58.660 That sound is called. Listen to it.

00:01:00.520 It kind of sounds like the kind of sound that, like, when everything's going, like in the movie, like, when the couple is, you know, they're out and finally everything's going great.

00:01:16.920 It's like the third date and it's just a montage and they're dancing and, like, spinning each other around in the rain and, like, listen, listen.

00:01:24.920 Yeah, you see, yeah, we got the third date in the books and now we're just, we're bowling and kissing and, you know, trying on our bowling shoes and laughing and, like, punching each other softly, soft punches.

00:01:52.440 And doing stuff like that, you know, or if you take maybe two squirrels.

00:01:59.840 I don't know if you've ever spent any time around squirrels.

00:02:01.940 They're basically, they're basically a very short ferret but with a tail on it, kind of.

00:02:11.060 And they are, they're exciting animals.

00:02:13.580 They're animals that are, I don't want to say they're beautiful animals, but I think they're, I'll sit and talk with you about them all day.

00:02:20.440 They are a very enticing, enticing species, the squirrel.

00:02:26.060 But, yeah, this seemed like a couple of them were just kind of in the trees going nuts.

00:02:29.660 Listen.

00:02:37.420 Just kind of running around and, like, grabbing, like, acorns and peeking out from behind the other tree and, like, scurrying up the branches.

00:02:45.840 There you go.

00:02:51.660 That's a little bit of a Cambridge twang.

00:02:56.260 That's the song right there.

00:02:57.640 And we are here with you.

00:02:59.520 And this is Monday, June 5th.

00:03:01.640 And welcome to this past weekend.

00:03:05.300 I appreciate you guys joining us today.

00:03:07.280 But you already knew that.

00:03:08.580 I have a feeling that you already knew that because I let you know all the time.

00:03:12.180 I'm coming to you live for me for now.

00:03:15.900 On this Mondays of June.

00:03:20.120 And that means summertime is coming right around the corner.

00:03:22.580 The solstice is coming up.

00:03:23.900 I believe that's June 21st or 22nd.

00:03:26.660 And that should be the, is that the longest day of the year?

00:03:30.940 Yeah.

00:03:31.900 So if you got, you know, if you got a friend that talks a lot, I wouldn't hang out with him on that day.

00:03:37.980 Because you're liable to be out there, out and about, having to listen to him a little bit longer than usual.

00:03:44.000 So I, you know, spend that day with people who don't talk too much and who are, you know, just who you like to have fun with.

00:03:50.360 You don't have to really listen very much as much or more than you should.

00:03:53.900 But I'm in Pittsburgh coming to you live from a courtyard Marriott.

00:03:58.620 Very basic.

00:04:00.540 You could call it a hotel.

00:04:02.060 It's kind of a motel to me. 0.99

00:04:03.760 There's a, kind of a very girthy sort of Indian or Middle Eastern man downstairs who, I'm going to go out on a limb and say, this fellow wants to do sex with me. 1.00

00:04:17.360 He keeps baiting me downstairs, saying that the printer is fixed, the printer is fixed, and it's broken. 0.97

00:04:23.740 And then he's like, oh, whatever.

00:04:26.520 He's British as well.

00:04:27.700 And he's like, oh, whatever am I to do?

00:04:30.580 I'm just, jeepers, creepers. 1.00

00:04:32.900 And the night shift, the people that work the night shift at hotels, man, I mean, they're either cool as fuck or they are fucked up. 0.99

00:04:43.900 Because I have seen both types, man. 0.99

00:04:46.500 I have seen both types, dude.

00:04:48.600 A lot of, one guy took me back in this baggage room where they kept a bunch of baggage one time and he had a German shepherd back there giving babies.

00:04:57.540 Birth.

00:04:58.620 Welping, they call it when they're giving birth like that. 1.00

00:05:00.780 This German shepherd back there giving birth to baby animals.

00:05:05.600 Little baby German shepherds.

00:05:07.220 You know that. 0.99

00:05:08.960 So, I just don't know what the fuck is going on, honestly, at some of these places. 0.97

00:05:12.940 And I'm sorry to get fired up out of the gate and use this language, but, you know, I've been out here in Pittsburgh for four nights. 0.98

00:05:20.380 Good city.

00:05:21.200 But I'm on the outskirts.

00:05:22.600 You know, I'm out here at one of these malls.

00:05:24.480 And this is the kind of times when, in a comedian's life, dude, it's not great.

00:05:29.420 It's not great.

00:05:31.080 I want to go home.

00:05:32.400 I'm tired.

00:05:33.040 But with that said, I had some joy this weekend.

00:05:38.200 You can look on the YouTubes.

00:05:39.740 If you're on the YouTubes, I got a gentleman that makes some of my shirts.

00:05:44.540 This gentleman, Kevin Best.

00:05:47.320 And he showed up and made me some beautiful shirts, man.

00:05:51.060 And so, that's really, really cool.

00:05:53.660 And this one is of Michael Landon, who, you know, I've always thought of as like a television profit actor, you know, who really kind of led or tried to help lead everybody in a positive direction.

00:06:05.740 Before he died of cancer.

00:06:07.660 And cancer got him.

00:06:08.860 Dude, I'm starting to wonder, like, what diseases are we going to have from this technology we have right now, you know?

00:06:16.620 Like, we don't know anybody who has hit 65 years old and who's been on a phone, on a cell phone for 40 years.

00:06:24.800 We don't know the effects.

00:06:26.240 We don't know the effects of a lot of the medicines that we're on right now. 0.98

00:06:31.060 I mean, I'm just, what if at, you know, 70 years old, somebody who's been using a cell phone for 30 years, what if their fucking eyeballs fall out of their head, huh? 0.88

00:06:43.200 What if that's one of the afflictions, you know? 0.94

00:06:46.280 And you've got a bunch of people running around with no eyes or walking slowly and still, and being angry at Verizon, but still addicted to their phones.

00:06:57.080 How crazy is that going to look when you have a guy with no eyes, no eyes in his head, and you're like, what happened to you?

00:07:07.860 And he says, sorry, I can't talk right now.

00:07:10.980 I'm on the phone, even though it's the phone that did it to him.

00:07:15.240 That's where we're headed, guys.

00:07:17.080 We got some great callers that called in about, one, I'm going to leave us with today.

00:07:21.660 A caller called a few weeks ago about the future, and I'm going to leave us with that one at the end of the lineup today so you can see what you think.

00:07:29.100 He had a really great, a good point, a good topic that I want to lead us into, and we can talk about that.

00:07:35.280 But first, I want to tell you about here in Pittsburgh, man.

00:07:38.380 I'm here.

00:07:39.300 It's been a good time.

00:07:40.560 Pittsburgh Improv.

00:07:41.940 I had some nice people come out.

00:07:43.320 The Neon Nightingale.

00:07:45.020 He came out.

00:07:46.640 He came out.

00:07:47.400 You guys remember him from some of the previous episodes?

00:07:50.300 And that was pretty sweet, having him out and about.

00:07:52.280 I got to meet him and his lovely lady, and they got a child that they left somewhere at home under the care of someone else.

00:08:00.260 So that's the proper way to do it.

00:08:02.640 But I've been in Pittsburgh all weekend.

00:08:05.520 It rained today.

00:08:07.120 That's about the most exciting thing that kind of happened to me.

00:08:09.560 Spent time with my buddy's family.

00:08:12.200 What else?

00:08:13.480 I had a lot of lovely fans that came out, man, lovely fans and friends.

00:08:16.920 I'm going to tell you where I'm going up soon, and then we'll get into the news, and then we're going to hit into some calls and emails from people, from listeners, that we're going to offer some basic life suggestions, people that hit the hotline.

00:08:30.940 I'm going to give you that hotline number right now, 985-664-9503.

00:08:36.960 And the cities I'm hitting soon, Nashville, Las Vegas, Orlando, Calusa Casino in north of Sacramento, New York City, Stark County, Illinois.

00:08:52.420 So those places are going to be coming up, as well as Addison, Texas.

00:08:55.500 That's in Dallas or outside of Dallas on that second week of August.

00:08:59.360 But all those other cities are before the end of July.

00:09:02.460 You can find them at TheoVaughn.com slash tour, T-O-U-R.

00:09:08.920 As well, I've got the new album that's out now, Musket Fire, The Early Years of Satire, and 30 Pound Bag of Hamster Bones.

00:09:17.520 Both those are available right now.

00:09:19.940 Check the tracks and make sure that you don't already own the album, though.

00:09:25.160 I'm happy to be here with you guys, man.

00:09:27.320 I'm happy to be here with you guys.

00:09:29.900 Bill Cosby case is starting today.

00:09:32.460 You may know that.

00:09:33.140 You may not.

00:09:34.440 To me, I think that Bill Cosby is guilty.

00:09:38.760 Do I think he's guilty of copulating with however many of those women are?

00:09:45.420 I don't.

00:09:46.160 I don't think he's guilty of all of them.

00:09:48.600 Just based on my experience in L.A., I easily see how when one woman sees that something's going on, others will jump on. 0.92

00:09:59.600 And it's not just a woman people. 1.00

00:10:01.860 You know, oh, they're doling out money over here?

00:10:04.300 Let me jump in. 0.99

00:10:05.780 There's a lot of hot ass out there in Los Angeles. 1.00

00:10:10.220 A lot of gold-digging, trifling women out there just trying to make a buck. 1.00

00:10:16.020 You know, I'm not even talking feminists. 1.00

00:10:19.560 These aren't feminists. 1.00

00:10:20.460 These are Rottweilers. 0.96

00:10:23.200 Okay?

00:10:23.920 These are them, you know, them cooter Rottweilers. 0.53

00:10:26.740 And they're just barking around with that crotch and trying to get that money, stack that paper, you know. 0.92

00:10:35.380 But I don't think that Bill Cosby will be convicted.

00:10:39.380 I think he might be convicted of some civil charges.

00:10:42.140 But I think he'll be the O.J. Simpson of vagina. 1.00

00:10:45.140 And that's my theory. 0.99

00:10:46.820 There you go.

00:10:47.520 There you have it.

00:10:48.840 I believe that.

00:10:49.920 I think he'll get off.

00:10:51.720 And I think he'll be the O.J. Simpson of poise.

00:10:56.900 Onward.

00:10:57.860 More news.

00:10:58.780 Kathy Griffin.

00:10:59.720 Everybody knows this.

00:11:00.760 The bloody head she held up.

00:11:02.520 I'm going to say this.

00:11:05.140 And some people think, like, by even talking about it, you're creating publicity for her.

00:11:09.960 I'm not creating publicity for Kathy Griffin.

00:11:12.300 She's the only person, comedian, that I've ever gone to their show a full hour and I didn't laugh.

00:11:19.080 That's a true story.

00:11:20.460 This is about seven years ago I went or eight.

00:11:22.700 Could have been eight years ago I didn't laugh at all.

00:11:26.040 She's not for me.

00:11:27.180 Her type of comedy.

00:11:27.980 I get it.

00:11:28.780 But I thought that this was just hack.

00:11:30.900 You know, I thought it was just, you know, you're holding up a bloody head of the president. 0.90

00:11:35.420 Get a life. 0.55

00:11:36.680 You know, you've made your money in this country.

00:11:39.120 And show some gratitude.

00:11:40.200 You don't have to show it to Donald Trump.

00:11:43.140 But show it to the fact that that's the president for right now.

00:11:47.120 You know, that's who the president is.

00:11:49.220 You know, and I don't care who it is.

00:11:50.560 I think that as an American you have some responsibility to at least just go along with it.

00:11:56.780 And I just think she could have come up with something much better or funnier.

00:12:00.580 To me, she's not funny.

00:12:02.660 And to me, I just thought that that was un-American.

00:12:04.840 That's kind of the feeling that it left me with.

00:12:07.240 You know, and I'm kind of just sick of all the Trump.

00:12:08.780 I'm just, I think the Trump jokes are just hack.

00:12:11.380 It's like, we get it.

00:12:12.740 Like, you don't like him.

00:12:13.880 Okay, great.

00:12:15.340 You know, I mean, I voted for Obama twice.

00:12:17.180 I wasn't a huge Obama fan.

00:12:19.260 You know, but I was inspired by what he was talking about.

00:12:22.340 I think Obama did some good.

00:12:23.960 I think he was a great example. 0.99

00:12:26.060 I also think Obama was kind of a pussy when it came to a lot of stuff, to be honest. 0.99

00:12:29.620 Sorry to use that language. 1.00

00:12:31.220 I felt like he didn't really have any balls, you know. 0.98

00:12:34.780 I don't think he did a lot to inspire black America. 0.98

00:12:38.000 For me, that's just my perspective.

00:12:39.840 You're like, well, Theo, you're not black. 1.00

00:12:41.820 You're right.

00:12:42.360 I'm not.

00:12:42.780 But I can still have a point of view.

00:12:45.480 A lot of my black friends have felt the same way.

00:12:48.360 I think he's a great speaker.

00:12:50.060 I think he's a great orator.

00:12:51.100 I think he sounded amazing, no doubt.

00:12:53.440 He looked good in pictures.

00:12:54.460 Beautiful family.

00:12:55.740 Beautiful daughters.

00:12:58.260 Probably a great hoopster.

00:12:59.760 But to me, he was all talk.

00:13:02.100 He was more of a celebrity than he was a man.

00:13:05.040 I would look at him as more of a celebrity than I would as a man.

00:13:08.640 So, I don't know.

00:13:09.100 The Kathy Griffin thing, I just didn't laugh, you know.

00:13:11.760 It wasn't funny to me.

00:13:12.820 I think she's more of a loud mouth. 1.00

00:13:15.740 And maybe she was a comedian at a time, but I've never seen her in a comedy club.

00:13:19.020 Never seen her in any comedy club anywhere.

00:13:22.260 Except for the one time I went and saw her at a theater. 0.91

00:13:24.700 And part of that's I'm just sick of the un-American attitude.

00:13:27.980 Like, people saying that, oh, this country doesn't represent me and stuff like that.

00:13:33.500 Like, maybe I'm old-fashioned or something, you know.

00:13:36.360 But, like, I feel, hold on, the air conditioner just came on.

00:13:39.260 I've got to shut it off.

00:13:41.760 All right, I'm back.

00:13:50.180 But I feel like if you live in the country, you cash your checks here, then have some gratitude, you know. 0.55

00:13:55.880 Have some freaking gratitude, you know.

00:13:58.520 If you don't like what's going on, then find some ways to change it.

00:14:02.080 Be part of the solution, you know. 0.99

00:14:04.400 Shut the fuck up and contribute. 1.00

00:14:06.660 All right? 1.00

00:14:06.840 You don't have to make it better.

00:14:08.180 You're not going to make it better by acting like you're not part of this country.

00:14:12.540 If you don't want to be part of the country, then go.

00:14:14.460 Go out for a few years and come back.

00:14:16.920 Nobody's doing that.

00:14:17.920 You see what I'm saying?

00:14:18.640 Man, everybody's anti-America, but they're not leaving here.

00:14:23.400 So it just kind of makes me upset, you know.

00:14:25.900 And you can say, well, Theo, you're naive.

00:14:27.860 You know, you still believe in some type of an American ideal or American dream.

00:14:31.780 You know, I don't know how clearly I feel on some of that.

00:14:35.140 But I do feel like we're fortunate enough to live here.

00:14:39.260 We're blessed to live in this country.

00:14:43.380 We should act like it.

00:14:45.000 We should act like it, you know.

00:14:46.620 And if something we don't like, find a more constructive way than just by sheer hatred, you know.

00:14:52.480 I just don't get it.

00:14:53.920 Bill Maher dropped the N-word.

00:14:55.600 That's a little more news there.

00:14:58.460 I thought with Bill Maher, in comparison to Kathy Griffin, at least Bill Maher, that's him.

00:15:04.400 You know who he is.

00:15:05.560 You know, I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I don't live in a world where I know, personally, hundreds of people who you would think never use the N-word, who I hear use it.

00:15:17.380 I'm not going to sit in a world and pretend that that's the case.

00:15:21.260 People use it a lot, you know.

00:15:23.380 They don't use ER, but I hear N-I-G-G-A all the time.

00:15:29.260 And I don't condone it.

00:15:30.880 I don't think it's, I don't think it helps.

00:15:33.300 I do think it's a derogatory word, right?

00:15:37.620 But I believe that it's going to take time for us to get it out of the vocabulary of humanity.

00:15:45.040 And I think that today, more kids learn it today from music than they do from racist channels or influences.

00:15:52.340 How do we defeat it?

00:15:53.640 For me, I think that you take it out of music and you let time pass.

00:15:57.860 You just need time.

00:15:58.660 But also, that's just my thoughts on it.

00:16:02.240 Some people are like, you're white.

00:16:03.380 You don't get to comment on it.

00:16:04.900 And that's understandable.

00:16:05.860 If somebody takes that stance, I might maybe almost agree with them, you know.

00:16:09.880 You know, that's a weird ground.

00:16:11.720 But I think with Bill Maher, you just know who he is.

00:16:15.180 That's who he is.

00:16:15.880 He's the kind of guy who drops a wild joke like that, who is not afraid to use a word like that.

00:16:21.780 I'm not surprised.

00:16:22.980 I mean, Bill Maher is really, he's spicy, he's derogatory, he's, you know, he's always misogynistic.

00:16:31.640 He's, I think in a way, he's kind of like a Trump in a way, you know.

00:16:37.000 And I'm not saying that he's a horrible person.

00:16:39.720 I don't know the man.

00:16:41.180 But I'm saying that I feel like at least you get who he is.

00:16:45.060 You're not shocked.

00:16:46.680 I don't know who was super shocked by that.

00:16:48.820 Like, I know people on Twitter get angry, but Twitter angriness, to me, not even real.

00:16:56.360 Twangry.

00:16:56.860 If you're twangry, that's not real.

00:16:59.100 That's fake.

00:17:00.120 You just sit there and tweet something and then do nothing about it or have no, it's just, to me, it seems really, really fake.

00:17:07.900 But as compared to Kathy Griffin, Kathy Griffin, you have no idea who she is.

00:17:11.480 You just think, oh, she's just this muppet trying to make some weird splash. 0.96

00:17:14.300 And it didn't go well and then she's blaming white people and just, just give it up. 0.96

00:17:20.560 You seem to have led a pretty privileged life.

00:17:24.000 And she just seems to have no gratitude for that.

00:17:26.680 And that just pissed me off.

00:17:28.840 And you don't have any idea who Kathy Griffin is.

00:17:31.520 She's this snarky, kind of early Perez Hilton sort of, she was kind of like a human TMZ that just told these weird behind-the-scenes stories about celebrities. 0.54

00:17:40.480 That I never thought were super funny.

00:17:43.580 And then she just, like, caltoed to the gay community for her fanship.

00:17:48.200 But Bill Maher, I mean, that's who he is.

00:17:50.860 You know?

00:17:51.240 At least you're like, oh, that's exactly who he is. 1.00

00:17:53.480 Kathy Griffin, you're like, what the fuck is this? 1.00

00:17:55.580 This lady's out of her mind. 1.00

00:17:59.100 Anyway, so those are some of my thoughts on the news.

00:18:02.540 What else is going on?

00:18:03.600 I mean, they had the tragedy over there in England.

00:18:06.300 I don't know what to think about that kind of stuff.

00:18:08.060 You know?

00:18:09.380 I mean, it's crazy to think you want our military to get involved in things because it's just kind of scary.

00:18:13.860 You know?

00:18:14.960 But, yeah, I mean, I just, you know, my thoughts and prayers are really with those people who, you know, are dealing with their children and having to deal with that.

00:18:24.800 And I like thoughts and prayers.

00:18:26.200 Some people don't like them.

00:18:28.180 I mean, to me, all a thought or a prayer is, it's hope.

00:18:32.300 It's a moment of meditation.

00:18:34.200 It's a moment of you trying to express good energy towards people that need it.

00:18:44.040 And to me, there's a ton of value in that.

00:18:46.200 People are always like, thoughts and prayers don't solve anything.

00:18:49.260 I disagree.

00:18:50.920 You know?

00:18:51.380 Surely, they're not going to make you a sandwich.

00:18:53.640 You know?

00:18:53.840 If you're thinking and praying for bologna and cheese to meet in your kitchen, you're dead wrong.

00:18:58.200 But, if you're thinking and praying that the hearts of someone who's hurting could find more comfort, I think that things like that can really occur.

00:19:10.960 So, I believe in some of those things.

00:19:13.120 We got the hotline, man.

00:19:14.660 I'm going to get right into it because it's late, bro.

00:19:17.440 It's late for me.

00:19:19.040 And I don't want to live like this, dude.

00:19:21.260 I don't want to live up this late.

00:19:23.380 But, I just want to get some rest.

00:19:27.520 To be honest, I got a flight in.

00:19:30.040 Four hours and 50 minutes, I'm flying out of Pittsburgh.

00:19:32.760 So, let's get it in.

00:19:36.080 I'll say this on the hotline.

00:19:38.360 That number again, 985-664-9503.

00:19:44.380 The first one, we got a message that came in.

00:19:46.360 This was a text.

00:19:47.460 And then we'll get to some calls.

00:19:48.640 Theo, Austin here, texting in from the University of Central Missouri.

00:19:54.520 Your last podcast, you said you attended six different universities.

00:19:58.460 Next year, I graduate and start the process of paying off my student loans.

00:20:02.980 And was wondering how you handled all your debt, if you had any.

00:20:06.400 And any advice as I jump into the real world with loads of debt.

00:20:10.620 Thank you.

00:20:11.560 You're the mother effing man.

00:20:16.240 Here's what I say about student loans.

00:20:18.640 Young Buck, Austin, named after a city.

00:20:22.020 I've always wanted to have a daughter named Chicago.

00:20:24.220 I thought that would be a neat name.

00:20:25.820 Or maybe a son named St. Petersburg.

00:20:31.080 But here's what I want to say about student loans, dude.

00:20:34.720 Don't worry about that.

00:20:36.120 That's my thought on it.

00:20:37.560 I mean, because you can get your student loans down to where you're paying

00:20:40.020 like a little bit of money, basically over the rest of your life.

00:20:43.920 You know?

00:20:44.400 I've been out of school for 15 years.

00:20:46.340 I've refinanced them here and there.

00:20:48.680 I basically have paid.

00:20:50.020 There were times where I didn't have to pay anything.

00:20:52.520 Where they gave me some, you know, a period of grace period.

00:20:57.800 But otherwise, I probably paid $100 a month for about 15 years.

00:21:01.480 But you know what? 1.00

00:21:02.800 Don't worry about that shit, dude. 1.00

00:21:04.680 Because if you worry about small stuff, then you live small. 1.00

00:21:09.940 That's one thing I've noticed.

00:21:11.120 If I could go back in time.

00:21:12.700 If you worry small, you live small. 1.00

00:21:15.140 You worry about all that small shit, dude? 1.00

00:21:16.920 You're going to, you never, if you're worried about that small shit, 1.00

00:21:23.040 you will never make a stink, man. 0.99

00:21:26.380 That's what I'm going to tell you.

00:21:27.580 You got to worry big, dude.

00:21:29.660 You know?

00:21:30.600 I mean, because you think about this.

00:21:31.560 You might get in with a company in five years and not have to even pay your student loans.

00:21:37.800 Some companies, when you come to work for them, part of the contract is they pay off your student loans.

00:21:43.280 I mean, there are real possibilities like that in your future.

00:21:46.940 So for you sitting there worrying about that $100 a month, I promise you, you will be okay.

00:21:53.980 That doesn't mean go out and drink every night and not take care of yourself and not have a job.

00:21:58.160 But find employment and worry big, you know?

00:22:01.560 I'd worry about how am I going to own a rental property in five years.

00:22:07.760 That's a bigger goal, man.

00:22:09.520 I'd take on a bigger goal like that.

00:22:11.640 Set a goal like that instead of these, if you're worrying down here, you're living down here.

00:22:16.120 If you're worrying up here, you're living up here.

00:22:19.080 So I'd get up there, man.

00:22:20.220 That's what I'd say.

00:22:21.460 You know, don't look at it as, oh, I owe $150,000.

00:22:24.660 That's huge.

00:22:25.800 That's crazy.

00:22:26.900 Look at it as, oh, I owe $100 a month.

00:22:30.000 Because I borrowed an education and I got to pay it back.

00:22:35.200 Don't waste the education, man.

00:22:36.840 Just get out there.

00:22:37.560 Stay busy.

00:22:38.640 Stay busy.

00:22:40.140 A man should always be working. 1.00

00:22:42.060 I used to live with a friend of mine and his dad told me that.

00:22:46.380 It's one thing he told me.

00:22:47.320 He said a man should always be working. 1.00

00:22:49.480 I don't mean every day, but it means you should have a job.

00:22:52.380 Good luck out there, Austin.

00:22:53.560 All right, let's get to a call here.

00:22:58.260 Let's see what we got.

00:23:02.480 Hey, CEO.

00:23:03.660 This is Alex in Atlanta.

00:23:05.680 I was giving you a call.

00:23:06.860 I love the podcast.

00:23:07.940 I wanted to give you advice on a roommate situation I have.

00:23:11.920 This is Alex in Atlanta calling about a roommate situation he has.

00:23:16.940 I live with a good friend.

00:23:18.520 Recently moved in with him.

00:23:20.760 But I'm having trouble sort of adapting back to having a roommate.

00:23:24.720 He's sort of a kid who comes from money and seems to never really have had any responsibility in his life.

00:23:32.060 I'm quite the opposite.

00:23:33.620 I've, you know.

00:23:34.040 Okay, so he moved back in with a roommate.

00:23:37.000 It sounds like he didn't have a roommate.

00:23:38.940 And now he's moved back in with a roommate.

00:23:40.600 He's having trouble adjusting to that.

00:23:43.360 And the roommate is maybe more of a silver spoon type of boy.

00:23:47.760 Like he's had types of things given to him onward.

00:23:50.520 You know, I've got a full-time job.

00:23:52.340 Since I've been in high school and worked for all my bills. 0.99

00:23:56.520 And it's kind of been a struggle for me sort of not kind of being an asshole to him. 0.99

00:24:02.780 And coming off as a prick of a roommate. 0.99

00:24:06.060 But it's just one of those things where, you know, he sleeps all day.

00:24:09.260 You know, the few responsibilities I give him to benefit the two of us.

00:24:13.560 Oh, wow. 0.90

00:24:14.580 So he's saying that, you know, it's hard for him not to be a prick to his roommate.

00:24:20.420 But then you say, Alex, I think it was Alex, you said the few responsibilities you give him.

00:24:27.240 So it seems like your take on this, you know.

00:24:31.060 So, yeah, it seems like you're having trouble adapting to being in a roommate situation.

00:24:35.520 Because if you're giving this dude, you know, if you're like giving demands out of him, it sounds like you're not going to, some of those things you're not going to get.

00:24:46.400 You know, I mean, if you're expecting him to do all these things and expecting him to live a certain way, he's an adult too.

00:24:52.920 You know, he might be set in his ways.

00:24:57.780 It sounds like you're more angry that you have to now live with someone.

00:25:01.800 To me.

00:25:03.360 Here, let's hear the end of this real quick.

00:25:04.800 Two of us as roommates, he just, you know, takes forever to do anything and just never really gets anything done.

00:25:11.120 But just, you know, wanted to get your advice on that.

00:25:13.760 I appreciate it.

00:25:14.580 Love your podcast.

00:25:16.100 All right, man.

00:25:16.660 Thank you so much for calling in about it.

00:25:18.040 So you got the new roommate.

00:25:18.920 Here's what I think, man.

00:25:20.780 I think that you, I don't know if you're ever going to be happy with him.

00:25:24.600 If you started out in this vibe where he doesn't contribute enough or the few responsibilities you give him, he doesn't get done.

00:25:32.000 You're going to have to find a way to get out of that whole mindset.

00:25:36.960 Otherwise, you're going to drive yourself miserable.

00:25:39.120 Because it sounds like he's living it up, you know.

00:25:42.740 You know, he's comfortable in enough situations.

00:25:44.880 He's got a roommate.

00:25:45.520 He's resting.

00:25:46.520 His parents are taking care of things.

00:25:47.760 Because that's going to be his life for now, you know.

00:25:51.880 And if you guys are arguing, then it's only going to make things even worse.

00:25:55.440 So you don't want to get into an argumentative state, man.

00:25:59.400 You know, maybe if he doesn't want to contribute and there are things he has to do,

00:26:03.700 maybe see if he'd be willing to put in to a cleaner, like a house cleaner that comes once a week.

00:26:10.300 You know, that way he can get whatever his responsibilities are done, make his responsibilities some of the cleaning, and then he can pay to have them done.

00:26:19.020 So that way it takes it off of his chest.

00:26:20.920 But you can't feel bad if he's not physically doing those things.

00:26:24.340 You can expect him out of them.

00:26:26.160 But at a certain point, if he's not doing them, he's not doing them.

00:26:28.600 And that's just somehow at times how roommates are.

00:26:32.940 You know, when I think of roommates, I think of two people arguing over dishes.

00:26:36.660 That's what I think of. 1.00

00:26:38.000 And somebody else ends up writing their name on the damn spaghetti sauce. 0.99

00:26:41.700 And then, I mean, we had a guy who jumped out of his own window, tried to kill himself when he was on drugs or something, but he was only on the first floor. 0.99

00:26:52.600 So he ended up just breaking his window and damaging a set of Venetian blinds. 0.99

00:26:59.560 But he was an idiot, you know, but he tried to kill it. 1.00

00:27:02.200 He tried to, you know, we had roommate wars and all that shit and people losing their mind. 1.00

00:27:07.780 You know, I mean, things can happen with your roommates where you can be fun. 0.96

00:27:11.040 You want to be in a fun environment.

00:27:13.260 And I remember one time, you know, eating some drugs or something and being on LSD and cooking a pizza in the dryer.

00:27:23.360 You know, and I'll tell you this, it takes four hours for a medium, for a medium to be edible.

00:27:31.200 And that's one thing I learned by having fun with my roommates.

00:27:34.680 You know, we used to get drunk and my roommate would let me lay on the hood of his car and he would drive me all around town.

00:27:41.860 You know, back when you could be young and fun.

00:27:44.700 Not now.

00:27:45.680 Not now.

00:27:46.860 But I think you need to quit expecting him.

00:27:48.500 You sound like a parent.

00:27:49.700 It almost sounded like a parent calling in.

00:27:52.060 So you're going to have to just find a way to get in a better mind space.

00:27:54.300 Here's what I would do.

00:27:55.840 I would maybe sit and let him know how you feel, but not from a, you can't come from a point of anger.

00:28:00.720 Just say, this is what's going on. 0.99

00:28:03.220 You need to take that stuff where his, his silver spoon kid and all that shit out of it. 0.99

00:28:07.100 That doesn't matter. 0.98

00:28:08.380 That's his life and that's your, your lives are different.

00:28:10.640 Oh, well, that's that.

00:28:11.880 But I would sit there and just let him know how you feel that you, you know, you just need some more help with things.

00:28:18.180 Offer up the idea of maybe getting a maid.

00:28:19.820 That way you guys aren't milling around fighting about it.

00:28:22.040 And then, dude, it's going to sound crazy, bro.

00:28:26.140 I'd pray for the dude.

00:28:27.440 Pray for him for two weeks, man.

00:28:29.080 You're thinking this is some Christian ideas.

00:28:31.020 No, I'm not saying that.

00:28:32.500 Just two weeks in a row every day.

00:28:36.540 Just hope the best for him.

00:28:39.400 That's what you want to do.

00:28:40.580 Hope the best, man.

00:28:42.320 I hope he just sleeps all day in pure comfort while I handle the chores.

00:28:47.980 Because then here's what happens is then you, then you suddenly you are a proponent of his.

00:28:56.040 So even if you have these issues, you start to, you start, he starts to become something you're cheering for instead of something you are angry against.

00:29:09.220 It sounds crazy, but it'll adjust that perspective inside of you, man.

00:29:12.800 And those are just my thoughts, man.

00:29:14.120 Those are the things that I would do if I were in that scenario. 1.00

00:29:16.540 That shit might not work out. 0.99

00:29:17.500 You guys might end up, you know, taking scissors to each other's necks, you know. 1.00

00:29:22.160 And they might be playing this call in a court case soon.

00:29:25.600 Who knows, bro.

00:29:27.080 But that's what I'm sharing with you.

00:29:30.080 That's my basic life suggestion for this.

00:29:32.520 All right, let's crack into another one.

00:29:34.340 Thank you very much for calling, too.

00:29:35.640 I do want to say that.

00:29:36.700 I do appreciate the calls.

00:29:38.360 I know this week we'd wanted people to call in who were missing an appendage.

00:29:41.440 If somebody had lost an arm or, you know, I know a man who cut his wiener off one time when he was on drugs up there in Mississippi.

00:29:48.840 And his family used to run the Ramada.

00:29:52.500 And he cut off his wiener up there.

00:29:54.300 And he's better now.

00:29:55.300 And he dealt with all that.

00:29:56.640 But I'm always real curious as to what it's like if somebody's missing an appendage.

00:30:02.780 And just how that feels.

00:30:04.340 And, you know, is it a constant thing where you think about it every day or do you just get used to it?

00:30:11.240 I didn't get any calls about that, I don't think.

00:30:13.640 So if somebody has that and they're just afraid to share, I want you to know that I'm not trying to make fun of you.

00:30:19.540 Or if you have a friend that you might think could call in and tell us about that.

00:30:24.120 That's what I want to know is just some behind the scenes of not having a leg.

00:30:28.420 Or, you know, just some kind of tips and hints if you don't have a leg or an arm.

00:30:36.720 Or if you know someone who doesn't.

00:30:38.180 Have them give us a buzz.

00:30:39.660 All right, let's move on to another call.

00:30:41.840 Here we go.

00:30:42.760 This is from abroad.

00:30:45.520 Hey, Theo.

00:30:47.200 So, second time calling.

00:30:50.980 I'm just watching your podcast right now.

00:30:53.000 I'm just waking up.

00:30:54.400 I'm actually working abroad.

00:30:55.640 I work in Ukraine.

00:30:59.080 Ukraine.

00:31:00.260 Now, if you're not familiar with Ukraine, that's over there near Russia, Poland.

00:31:05.100 That's a wild west.

00:31:07.960 A lot of snowball fights.

00:31:09.880 A lot of children with stone shoes and, you know, girls carrying stone dolls around. 0.72

00:31:17.320 It's a tough life over there.

00:31:19.160 So thank you for calling internationally, brother.

00:31:21.680 Onward.

00:31:22.240 I'm an English teacher.

00:31:23.600 You're an English teacher.

00:31:24.420 Anyway, just having a few issues.

00:31:27.000 You know, I'm over here by myself.

00:31:29.540 Ooh, alone in the Ukraine.

00:31:32.220 Also, the Ukraine is a lot of where those movies hostile and those movies where kids get

00:31:36.660 murdered or not children, adults get murdered on their spring break and stuff.

00:31:40.980 So that's, I guess, a popular pastime in Ukraine.

00:31:45.700 Onward.

00:31:46.900 Walking abroad over here.

00:31:48.240 I got a girl that I'm dealing with.

00:31:50.480 I've been seeing her for a few months.

00:31:52.000 And it's just, these girls these days, man, they just, they don't even officially stay here. 1.00

00:31:58.380 You guys don't have no talks.

00:32:00.480 She's already expecting me to go to, like, family birthdays and just stuff I'm not into.

00:32:07.380 And the crazy part is this is my second time already dealing with these Ukrainian girls. 1.00

00:32:11.920 Like, okay, so he's having some issues here with these Ukrainian girls.

00:32:17.060 You know, they're expecting a lot out of him.

00:32:20.300 And he's not having the talks.

00:32:21.960 They're not, you know, things aren't becoming clear.

00:32:26.860 You know, if it's a serious relationship or just a dating or something like that, I'm guessing.

00:32:32.260 Let's listen more.

00:32:33.100 You meet them.

00:32:34.320 You start hanging with them.

00:32:35.220 Everything is cool.

00:32:35.900 You tell them you want to take it slow.

00:32:37.120 You don't want nothing serious.

00:32:38.860 And then all of a sudden, you're just, like, buying birthday presents.

00:32:41.820 And I don't know, man.

00:32:43.300 What do you think about that?

00:32:45.140 On these girls, as soon as they get with you, they just act like your girlfriend. 1.00

00:32:48.260 They don't have no discussions.

00:32:49.880 Have a good one, man.

00:32:50.860 Once again, long business phone calls cost me money.

00:32:55.160 All right.

00:32:55.800 Well, I appreciate you making that investment in this past weekend.

00:32:58.920 The Ukrainian girls, man, if you call them.

00:33:01.260 I mean, let's be honest, man. 0.94

00:33:02.800 If you're over there with the Ukrainians, a lot of them, you know, they got a lot of, I'll tell you, out the shoot here, a lot of that pornography comes out of the Ukraine and, you know, the Soviet Union. 1.00

00:33:15.020 And, you know, those girls like to be, they like to get wild, you know, real butt universe over there. 1.00

00:33:23.360 But here's the thing.

00:33:24.260 You said you're taking it slow.

00:33:25.540 You tell these girls we're taking it slow.

00:33:27.780 But even if taking it slow for a few months, that builds up speed.

00:33:32.800 Man, you know, in the mind of a woman, you know, they, they, things start to mean something to them.

00:33:40.940 You know, if you spend time, you know, I got a gal that I'm just starting to spend some time with. 0.93

00:33:46.100 And that makes me, I get nervous, you know, I get nervous.

00:33:50.480 Because for me, it's just, am I, am I ready to be a man?

00:33:57.120 Do I think I can be that, you know, that stable?

00:34:00.160 Can I be a stable man in a, in a relationship?

00:34:02.300 Am I there enough yet in my head and in my heart?

00:34:05.660 Do I have enough of my things taken care of in my life to do, to do that, to really be that man?

00:34:14.180 But for you, it sounds like you just want to be casual, but these women start expecting something. 1.00

00:34:18.380 And then you're going to birthdays and parties and fiestas.

00:34:21.600 And, you know, y'all are, you know, you guys might be doing, you know, you think you're just taking a walk,

00:34:27.260 but then she, have y'all jump into a carriage ride. 1.00

00:34:30.100 And now y'all are carriage riders or listening to somebody play the violin

00:34:33.780 or whatever they do over there in Russia, listening to somebody, you know, softly beat their children,

00:34:39.620 you know, under a, by candlelight or whatever romance happens over there, you know,

00:34:44.720 just watching somebody wash their forehead with soapy water or whatever.

00:34:49.900 You know, I'm Polish, so I know, you know, I'm Polish Nicaraguan.

00:34:53.800 So I know some of, you know, I got in my blood some of what's going on over there.

00:34:58.460 I can hear it in my heartbeat sometimes, some of the, the, the trite magic.

00:35:03.780 That comes out of there over from that, from the far Eastern Europe.

00:35:10.740 But I'll say this, man, I think you, you don't want anything serious,

00:35:15.100 but these girls are going to start to expect it. 1.00

00:35:16.600 And one of the craziest types of women to date are Russian women or Eastern European women. 1.00

00:35:26.660 You know that, bro. You know that. You have to know that. 0.98

00:35:30.840 I mean, they will, they will, I have, I've dated one girl in LA that was a Russian girl.

00:35:38.140 And then she actually went to jail for beating up her landlord. 0.95

00:35:41.940 Lord, I think. I'm pretty sure. I'm like 88% sure, seven or 75 or something percent sure.

00:35:49.540 I know she was on trial for it because she tried to get me to come down to the courthouse a few times. 0.88

00:35:54.040 Beautiful girl, you know, and she just, they all want to be Laura Croft, Tomb Raider, you know,

00:36:00.000 and I don't know what happened, but they get wild.

00:36:02.940 And that's why I say, you know, it's tough to date some of those ladies because they, they, they will knuckle into you. 1.00

00:36:08.880 You know, they just have that cold war in them.

00:36:11.420 They got the, the dark arts.

00:36:13.320 They grew up playing with stone dolls and eating wooden candy.

00:36:17.560 And when you grew up with that rough of a childhood, when you finally get a little something,

00:36:22.440 you get them, you get anything, even if it's somebody's feelings.

00:36:24.940 Feelings, you know, feelings are a big, um, are a commodity there.

00:36:32.040 When you're, when you live in a land that has nothing, when you live in a land that's second and third world.

00:36:37.440 I remember the Olympics, some of the, they said that some of the hurdles were made out of, uh, goat bones and stuff. 0.98

00:36:45.200 I mean, they didn't, these people were putting shit together. 0.87

00:36:48.980 You know, I remember, um, you know, some of the, uh, places where people, 0.98

00:36:54.940 people, Olympians were sleeping, were just other people's houses.

00:36:58.100 They just sent them to like a rich person's house and hope that the rich person would let them stay.

00:37:02.560 Like, that's crazy.

00:37:04.900 Or it's not crazy.

00:37:05.680 I mean, it's just, it's, it's not crazy.

00:37:07.240 It's one of the things that comes with a third world nation, man. 0.99

00:37:10.660 So if you're over there and people don't have anything to eat, you know,

00:37:13.960 if you take a woman out on a date and the best y'all can even get is maybe a, you know, 0.98

00:37:17.960 a bowl of fish soup or something to share.

00:37:21.680 And y'all are sharing just some salmon soup and, you know, then the feelings that you give her,

00:37:28.460 the emotions that you give her, those are going to be a bigger, a big commodity.

00:37:33.380 You know, where you get over in a first world, you get over in LA or Birmingham, Alabama,

00:37:38.020 or some of these fancy spots. 0.98

00:37:41.260 And these women don't give a shit about the feelings, you know, and not all of them. 1.00

00:37:45.100 But when you get into these higher money areas, that's when they care about the Lamborghinis, 0.99

00:37:51.880 you know, and the Vivici dresses and the, you know, the Vivaldi designer bags and all of this shit.

00:38:02.300 So you're over there where a hot commodity is feelings and time. 0.76

00:38:07.920 And I'm actually, I'm envious of you, man, because it sounds like you have an LA mindset,

00:38:12.400 but you have it over there in a place where, where people want to be attached.

00:38:16.200 And, you know, we're living here in America where we want,

00:38:20.300 I think a lot of people want a little bit more attachment.

00:38:23.580 So if you don't care about her, maybe you seem to, then let her go.

00:38:26.740 If she's getting too attached, you know, think about it like this.

00:38:29.840 Say you are allowed to fish somewhere.

00:38:34.080 And they say, yeah, you can catch the fish and you can enjoy them, you know.

00:38:38.240 You could hug them by the bank and touch them if you want.

00:38:41.980 You know, you can be wild with them.

00:38:44.540 And you have fun and you tell the fish right when you catch it,

00:38:47.100 you know, I'm just going to keep you here by the bank with me and it's just going to be fun.

00:38:50.780 Then you throw the fish back in the water.

00:38:53.580 What do you think that fish is honestly going to do?

00:38:55.580 You've been over there snuggling with that fish and licking its sides and touching its gills.

00:39:02.060 And y'all been getting to know each other for weeks.

00:39:06.240 This is a fish that's been living underwater.

00:39:08.780 And here it is breathing air, breathing air next to another, another being, a human, but still another being.

00:39:15.980 You think that fish is going to swim off, not care?

00:39:19.020 No, it's not gonna.

00:39:20.180 Especially a third world fish, man, where affection and time are commodities. 0.78

00:39:27.320 So you add those things into the fact that Eastern European women are 70 or 58 or 65% psychopath or pretty edgy, mentally edgy. 0.99

00:39:39.440 Dude, that's fire right there. 0.97

00:39:42.020 You are flirting with fire. 1.00

00:39:43.580 So if you're over there getting your dick burnt, I'm not surprised, bud. 1.00

00:39:47.220 What advice do I have for you? 1.00

00:39:48.480 You know, at a certain point, you got to commit.

00:39:54.020 Otherwise, just quit.

00:39:55.300 Just at a certain point, you probably have to commit or you need to be more stern in the beginning and let them know what the scenario is.

00:40:03.860 But don't get angry at them. 0.98

00:40:05.780 And if they invite you to a birthday party, get a damn present, dude. 0.99

00:40:09.360 You know, go out there. 0.99

00:40:10.780 You might meet somebody at a birthday party.

00:40:12.260 That's a special event.

00:40:13.340 They got cake and they might have camel, you know, or not pony rides or whatever you guys have over there.

00:40:19.100 Moscow mules.

00:40:21.100 You know, you could probably do anything.

00:40:22.660 Who knows what they're even eating over there.

00:40:24.940 A birthday?

00:40:25.620 Somebody probably only lives to about 11 or 12 in Ukraine.

00:40:29.280 Go over there and celebrate.

00:40:30.420 15% of their life, they're inviting you.

00:40:33.900 Go enjoy that.

00:40:35.360 Be a part of something.

00:40:37.160 So I appreciate you calling, man.

00:40:39.380 And I feel you, you know, if you don't want to be involved.

00:40:41.660 But be, feel, feel, feel, feel, sorry, feel thankful because they got men over here looking for some action, looking for love.

00:40:51.500 And these women are offering it to you. 1.00

00:40:54.800 So at least treat the women with some gratitude, you know, enough that they care.

00:40:59.520 But good luck, man.

00:41:00.660 Good luck to you.

00:41:01.240 And I appreciate you calling international.

00:41:03.920 All right.

00:41:04.520 Let's get another one right here. 0.69

00:41:06.500 Let's see where we're at time was.

00:41:08.080 About 40 minutes.

00:41:09.100 And thank you guys for paying attention and being involved.

00:41:13.160 I'm also considering this Patreon where we do some, maybe we do special episodes each week or something like that.

00:41:21.420 But I'm considering Patreon or Patreon.

00:41:23.820 I'm in this motel and I just heard my neighbor.

00:41:26.260 I think they're pissed off at me.

00:41:30.040 I don't blame them.

00:41:30.920 I mean, I'm the dude who's chatting about, you know, Ukrainian, you know, dating habits through the walls at 319 in the morning. 0.95

00:41:41.620 All right.

00:41:42.080 Here's another.

00:41:43.240 This was a text that came in.

00:41:45.600 Dio, what's up, man?

00:41:46.420 This is Andrew from Iowa.

00:41:48.300 Huge fan of all your stuff.

00:41:50.260 I look forward to your podcast every week.

00:41:52.560 So I have this situation I want to talk to you about.

00:41:54.820 I've been seeing this girl.

00:41:56.240 We have hooked up four times.

00:41:57.740 Every time we end up going for it for about an hour.

00:42:01.380 Wow. 0.96

00:42:02.400 You're having sex for an hour, dude. 0.99

00:42:04.560 Well, that's your problem right there. 1.00

00:42:06.400 If you give a woman an hour of sex, they're going to want more sex, dude. 1.00

00:42:11.500 My move, give a woman seven or eight minutes of troublesome, awkward sex. 1.00

00:42:18.480 And then they might not want it again. 0.88

00:42:23.520 So I want to consider that just to kind of slow down the pace you're on.

00:42:28.120 This is only the second girl I've had relations with.

00:42:31.180 And the same thing happened the two times I hooked up with the first girl.

00:42:34.560 So I know the answer to this is to stop jerking it. 0.99

00:42:38.220 But I wanted to ask you how you get to sleep when you are abstaining from masturbation. 0.99

00:42:42.640 I've gotten into the routine of jerking it and falling asleep real fast. 0.95

00:42:49.060 I'm sober now, so booze is not an option. 0.99

00:42:51.080 I really want to quit the masturbation so I can have better sex. 0.99

00:42:53.940 Thanks, dude. 0.99

00:42:55.460 Andrew, I appreciate you reaching out from Iowa.

00:42:58.100 I've had some good times in Iowa.

00:42:59.720 I visited the Field of Dreams there.

00:43:01.800 The actual one from the movie site, from the movie filming.

00:43:05.660 It's there.

00:43:06.140 And it's a nice thing to see if you drive through Iowa.

00:43:09.900 I also had a good chicken fried steak there.

00:43:14.820 But let me answer your question.

00:43:17.120 You can't finish sexually.

00:43:19.100 So if you sexually, you aren't finishing, so what, bro? 0.95

00:43:23.320 Huh?

00:43:23.820 So what, dude? 0.98

00:43:25.240 I have sex sometimes and don't finish. 0.98

00:43:28.040 You know? 0.96

00:43:29.260 You're not wrong for that.

00:43:30.700 You don't have to finish every time.

00:43:32.260 Have you ever started playing basketball and then it rains?

00:43:38.180 Guess what, dude?

00:43:40.260 You didn't finish, bro. 0.91

00:43:42.640 Now, if you're jerking off right before bed and that's your issue, 0.89

00:43:47.180 then the problem is you have all that energy.

00:43:51.800 You need to get rid of that energy throughout the day, you know?

00:43:54.300 And you have to get out and play hoops or, you know, get some kettlebells

00:44:00.060 or kick a ball around the yard, do soccer with the neighbor, you know,

00:44:04.120 or find some way to get that energy out of you.

00:44:05.880 Go to the gym.

00:44:07.560 You know, if it's mental energy and that's what's causing you to jerk out

00:44:12.200 and to skeet up, then you need to, you know what I do?

00:44:17.160 Sometimes I'll watch car accidents on the Internet, you know?

00:44:21.260 That'll sometimes help me tone down.

00:44:23.160 I'll burn something in the bathroom sink, you know, burn an old shoe

00:44:26.940 or some piece of paper, you know, something to get that edge off of me, you know? 0.89

00:44:32.380 Something to let the devil out.

00:44:34.280 Because what's happening to you is if you're not, 0.99

00:44:38.460 you're feeling like you have to ejaculate to get that devil out of you. 0.99

00:44:43.360 That's not true. 1.00

00:44:44.540 You can get that devil out of you by some other way.

00:44:47.200 You could chop a tree down.

00:44:48.840 You could dig a hole in the yard, put something in there.

00:44:53.980 You know, do a time capsule.

00:44:55.140 You could just go for a run.

00:44:57.980 You could lift weights.

00:44:59.760 But you could watch karate, watch old adult karate on the Internet.

00:45:03.400 They got senior citizen karate.

00:45:05.460 You know, it kind of, it's exciting, but it's not too violent

00:45:07.920 where it makes me scared to go to bed.

00:45:10.360 But it helps take some of that nervous energy out of me,

00:45:12.840 watching that attack, you know, those attack moves.

00:45:16.120 So, anyhow, I hope that answers your question. 0.88

00:45:19.140 But don't feel bad if you're not spraying out during sex, man.

00:45:21.480 You don't have to. 0.96

00:45:22.920 Okay, that's something you see in pornography. 0.99

00:45:24.320 You don't have to spray out.

00:45:27.440 But I commend you on being sober.

00:45:29.900 And if you think, it sounds like you're answering your question for you.

00:45:36.420 You know, you're answering your own question.

00:45:39.100 You know, you said, so I know the answer to this is to stop jerking it.

00:45:42.880 And that probably is the overall answer is to take away, take that time away.

00:45:48.720 You know, you'll be more involved and you'll actually get the release from where it's supposed to come from.

00:45:53.580 You know, another human. 0.94

00:45:54.860 But if it's anxiety, if it's that devil in you, and if it's that mental nut, that, you know, that, you know, that, that, when you feel that devil just gearing up in your heart and in your rectum and in your crotch, 0.91

00:46:11.000 then you need to find a way to let that out.

00:46:14.460 And that, I think, is doing the gym or doing, watching car accidents online or doing, watching adult karate or, you know, doing ping pong. 0.99

00:46:27.860 I don't do yo-yos or any of that kind of shit. 1.00

00:46:30.020 That shit's boring. 1.00

00:46:30.800 I think a yo-yo. 1.00

00:46:31.800 But anyhow, good luck to you, man.

00:46:34.080 And best of, best of love and luck to you out there. 0.99

00:46:36.820 As you backing off that, that skeet and focusing on having naturally ejacks at the end of sex. 0.98

00:46:45.160 But don't feel bad if you don't. 0.98

00:46:46.520 And I appreciate you calling, man.

00:46:47.580 I appreciate you sharing this, or not calling, but sharing this text with us.

00:46:52.540 All right, man.

00:46:54.480 Let's check in one more.

00:46:58.240 Here we go.

00:46:59.860 And this one, this is one that I want to, that I want to leave us on here, man.

00:47:03.360 This guy, he had some thoughts, dude, and I really liked them.

00:47:08.000 And, and I want to end us on this here.

00:47:11.860 Let me see if I can find this.

00:47:13.440 Here we go.

00:47:14.140 Right here.

00:47:15.280 Let's go.

00:47:16.760 Yo, Theo, what up?

00:47:17.660 My name's Ben, a white dude from the suburbs of New York City.

00:47:22.940 White dude from the suburbs of New York.

00:47:25.340 You hear that?

00:47:26.600 We got a newsie on the line, ladies and gentlemen.

00:47:29.280 Thank you for calling, Ben.

00:47:31.240 This is response to your future predictions.

00:47:35.820 And Ben's calling about the future.

00:47:37.180 He called it about two weeks ago, I think.

00:47:38.760 And we were talking about the future and things like that.

00:47:40.520 And I want to get back into some of that.

00:47:41.960 And I'm going to use this call to lead us there.

00:47:43.960 I'm going to want to, I want to know what you guys think about what Ben says here.

00:47:48.960 Here we go.

00:47:50.260 I think what's coming 10 years from now, there's going to be a big cultural meltdown, I feel,

00:47:56.300 between what it means to be a man and a woman from my generation.

00:48:03.520 Okay.

00:48:04.100 So Ben's saying what it means to be a man and a woman from his generation, cultural meltdown.

00:48:08.660 Here we go.

00:48:09.620 Because right now, there's a whole bunch of blurred lines and all that.

00:48:11.920 And it's just getting crazy right now.

00:48:13.380 A lot of blurred lines right now.

00:48:15.580 I agree.

00:48:16.700 Or at least, yeah, I agree.

00:48:19.480 But the fact is, I saw a stat yesterday on Snapchat saying, you know,

00:48:24.080 3 million more women are graduating from college every year than men.

00:48:27.940 The result of that is going to be, you know, major income inequality coming up.

00:48:33.720 And when it comes time to raise a family and stuff, you know,

00:48:36.920 my generation's pretty lost in terms of what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman.

00:48:42.320 So he's saying that he's saying that there will be 3 million more women a year graduating college than men into a generation where already there's a very blurred line of what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman.

00:49:01.460 This is interesting.

00:49:02.700 And I looked that up.

00:49:03.680 And he's right.

00:49:05.660 According to different studies, there appears to be more women graduating college and enrolling in college than men.

00:49:16.440 Onward.

00:49:16.920 The roles that we have to play.

00:49:19.680 And I just don't think that we're ready for that.

00:49:22.640 Going from being completely lost of what it means to be, you know, a man, a woman, to being thrown into the hard position of being the reliant spouse.

00:49:33.620 Let's back it up for one second so we get all of what he said.

00:49:35.900 I shouldn't have interrupted that.

00:49:36.900 Here we go.

00:49:37.320 The family and stuff.

00:49:39.240 You know, my generation's pretty lost in terms of what it means to be a man, what it means to be a woman, the roles that we have to play.

00:49:47.300 And I just don't think that we're ready for that.

00:49:50.420 Going from being completely lost of what it means to be, you know, a man, a woman, to being thrown into the hard position of being the reliant spouse in a marriage.

00:50:03.300 And I think that's going to cause major cultural turmoil.

00:50:07.660 And, you know, who knows what the result of that is going to be.

00:50:11.200 So, yeah, 10 years from now, I think that's going to happen.

00:50:14.500 Wow.

00:50:15.640 Do you hear that?

00:50:16.400 He's saying in 10 years, within 10 years, the effects of that are going to be really wild.

00:50:21.320 When women, when more women are the reliant bread earners in families and in relationships and in marriages than men. 0.83

00:50:32.700 And just overall, you know, I mean, that's scary to me.

00:50:37.900 I mean, it is scary.

00:50:39.440 I don't think it's scary because women will be the ones making more money. 1.00

00:50:45.100 It's scary because I worry about what effect that might have on a man, on the psyche of a man.

00:50:53.180 Are we moving too fast for our psyches to be able to handle it?

00:50:59.020 You know, I mean, there's something intrinsic in a man where you want to be the provider, where you want to be, you know, the one who's bringing home the ducats, you know, stacks on stacks.

00:51:11.100 You know, and now it's going to be women. 1.00

00:51:14.280 It's going to be women who are doing this in 10 years. 1.00

00:51:17.880 That's what he theorizes.

00:51:19.180 So I'd love to know what some of you guys' thoughts are.

00:51:21.140 Do you agree on this?

00:51:22.320 I'm going to put it out on an episode on Thursday evening that's just about this.

00:51:26.220 Like, what do you think?

00:51:27.120 What do you think about what he has to say here?

00:51:29.340 You know, do you think this is true?

00:51:30.480 Do you think that's wild?

00:51:31.700 Do you worry about that?

00:51:33.600 I mean, in 10 years, I mean, I grew up with a single, just a single mother.

00:51:36.920 So it's like, you know, I was used to my mother being the breadwinner, but would it have been different if I had same age parents or similar, and then that mom is making all the money and the dad is dealing with the feelings of that?

00:51:52.560 Or is that just going to be commonplace where, you know, the fact that men feel like they need to be that is going to start to disappear, that that's just an old feeling that, you know, that we don't need to have anymore.

00:52:06.920 Almost like the appendix, you know, for, you know, there's theories that at some point the appendix was necessary for man, but that now it's just this piece in your body that gets infected sometimes when you're playing little league baseball and you have to go to the hospital immediately.

00:52:22.060 So what's it going to be, man, you know, cause that could be startling.

00:52:27.500 And are these women going to want to be, you know, are they just going to be the breadwinners and then still want to be mothers? 1.00

00:52:36.120 Are they going to be, you know, insane, aggressive feminists? 1.00

00:52:40.340 You know, one thing I noticed about a lot of aggressive feminists, they're not mothers. 1.00

00:52:45.220 They don't have any children.

00:52:47.440 You know, you look at a lot of these, you know, like these extreme pro-Hillary feminists during the election stuff. 1.00

00:52:55.400 A lot of them, the celebrity ones that I see, not mothers, don't have any biological children of their own.

00:53:02.440 Um, does that play a role, you know, uh, does that, is that where we're headed, where women don't want to be carrying babies anymore? 1.00

00:53:11.060 They just want to, you know, be breadwinners.

00:53:14.940 I don't know.

00:53:15.960 And what, what, what will men feel like?

00:53:18.000 What are we going to feel like?

00:53:19.640 You know, when you come home, your wife's, you know, got all the cash and she's, you got to ask her for money. 0.94

00:53:26.620 Men might just be like, this is fucking awesome. 0.98

00:53:30.200 Um, you know, maybe it's time for us to take, you know, that, that side seat and let women do it. 1.00

00:53:37.280 Are we still going to feel sexually attracted to those women? 0.97

00:53:40.360 You know, um, will the, will, are we headed towards a gender war 200 years from now? 0.51

00:53:47.560 Can Wonder Woman defeat Al Bundy from Married with Children?

00:53:51.940 A lot of questions out there, but I love that.

00:53:54.420 I love that final question there.

00:53:56.160 Um, and that was by.

00:53:58.040 Yo, see ya, what up?

00:53:59.200 Uh, my name's Ben.

00:54:00.360 That was Ben.

00:54:01.460 And that's from Mount Kisco, uh, area.

00:54:04.100 And that's New York outside of the city.

00:54:06.160 And I love that.

00:54:07.160 I love that he called, uh, and I appreciate that.

00:54:09.500 It's a great question, man.

00:54:10.840 It's a great question.

00:54:11.820 And we're going to leave it there.

00:54:12.700 And that's something that you guys can call in and comment on this week.

00:54:15.120 And I'm gonna try to put up a special about that on Thursday.

00:54:17.400 That's going to be the goal.

00:54:18.520 And also we're considering Patreon or Patreon, um, where we do something special for listeners each month.

00:54:24.420 Uh, it's kind of a subscription based service.

00:54:27.140 I just want to know what you think about this.

00:54:28.780 It's something I'm considering, um, just so that I can get into like a regular type of studio space, maybe get us a little bit better camera, um, and just have a, uh, you know, a producer that's helping constantly.

00:54:41.860 Um, I'm fortunate enough right now.

00:54:44.240 I got this guy, Sherb, uh, who brings us into his studios over on, uh, in Conscious Studios.

00:54:50.200 Um, I got a guy, Adam, who helps give me advice.

00:54:53.340 Um, I got a guy, Chris and, and my buddy Ken Highland and Chris Mako.

00:54:57.820 You know, I got guys helping out, but, um, I'd love to be able to, you know, things cost money.

00:55:02.720 I'd love to be able to create a system that's a little bit stronger, but also I don't want to damage what we have going on.

00:55:07.660 Um, I'm grateful to you, you guys for calling in.

00:55:10.840 You can also feel, feel free to call in and hit the hotline with any other issues or problems, whatever's going on, man.

00:55:15.880 You got something in your brain, something in your heart, drop it in there, you know, and I appreciate it, man.

00:55:21.260 And if I can relate at all, I will share my experience.

00:55:24.420 Or if you hit me with a stomper and you hit, you got my brain going, then I'm going to share it like we did here just now with Nick, you know, because that's, that's wild to think that in 10 years, women could have all that money, you know? 0.98

00:55:39.200 And has that just changed the dynamic of what it means to be in a relationship and what it means, how that fits?

00:55:45.960 Is it, can we still be a man if we're not the breadwinner?

00:55:50.220 Can you still feel like a man?

00:55:51.900 And I mean, it's hard to feel like one now, you know, I don't know if it's hard to feel like one, but it's hard to feel like you can express that you're one.

00:55:59.440 Um, but also I think some of that's just America, you know, I hope it is. 0.70

00:56:03.580 Um, and hopefully it's just a phase that we're going through and some of this evens out because I think we should all be able to have the true joy of, of whatever our gender is, you know, or even if you're gender neutral, you should be able to have that joy, whatever that is.

00:56:18.780 You know, I don't think somebody has to win.

00:56:21.960 And that's what I don't like about some of the feminism. 1.00

00:56:23.600 It's like they have to win.

00:56:25.400 Why do you have to win?

00:56:26.480 You don't have to, you're not beating men.

00:56:30.200 Okay.

00:56:30.800 Equality means that we're all trying to figure it out and working together.

00:56:35.260 And some things I don't want to be equal, you know, because some things aren't for debate.

00:56:40.880 Some things aren't, uh, uh, they're not something you can equate.

00:56:46.220 You know, I still want women to be women and men to be men.

00:56:50.240 Um, because I think that's a beautiful little puzzle that, that we've been trying to put together for, for centuries.

00:56:55.800 And I don't want us to stop that, you know?

00:56:57.880 And I think that's nature.

00:56:59.240 That's how nature works.

00:57:01.040 That's how nature works, man.

00:57:02.460 So, and I love that, man.

00:57:05.260 I'm a Romeo and Juliet, you know, that, but, uh, thank you guys for calling in this week, man.

00:57:09.840 I'm gonna leave us out here.

00:57:11.400 Um, I'll see you guys next weekend at Calusa casino.

00:57:14.780 Uh, and then I will see you coming up soon.

00:57:16.980 Nashville.

00:57:17.300 If you have any friends in Nashville, July 7th and 8th, uh, send them out, man.

00:57:22.260 I'm excited for that weekend.

00:57:23.360 It's going to be a lot of fun.

00:57:24.900 Uh, all right, here we go, man.

00:57:26.240 On the way out.

00:57:26.840 Thank you guys for hanging out on this past weekend.

00:57:32.460 It's called Drift Apart.

00:57:40.640 By Epidemic Sound.

00:57:53.140 Are we drifting apart, man, as men and women?

00:57:56.560 I don't know.

00:57:57.360 Um, I didn't see it that much in, you know, you get out of Los Angeles, you get into like

00:58:02.880 Pittsburgh and it's still, you see a lot of women wanting to be women and men wanting

00:58:08.000 to be men.

00:58:09.180 So that's nice to see.

00:58:10.460 It's also nice to know there's a lot of empowered women out there who feel, you know, that it's 0.96

00:58:20.260 a more of a team effort sometimes.

00:58:23.280 Um, and men who recognize that, that's important.

00:58:29.340 It's called Drift Apart, man. 0.98

00:58:32.400 Damn, we drifting apart in this world, bruh. 0.97

00:58:34.380 Um, but I still believe that there's ways not to, and I still believe at the core that 0.98

00:58:44.400 people are good people.

00:58:45.760 We just got to spend time with them in real time and we got to figure it out, right?

00:58:51.900 But we keep showing up, we move onward, we'll get it done, man.

00:58:56.060 We'll get there.

00:58:57.200 I hope we'll get to a good place.

00:58:58.500 I'd love to know what you guys think, man.

00:58:59.780 Hit me up on the hotline.

00:59:01.120 Have a great week.

00:59:02.300 Take care of yourself.

00:59:03.220 Uh, cause you probably deserve it, man.

00:59:07.180 You know?

00:59:08.080 Be good to yourself.

00:59:09.580 Cause I bet that you deserve it.

00:59:13.100 Y'all have a good one.

00:59:22.060 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be

00:59:27.260 sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure

00:59:32.100 your partner.

00:59:33.220 The answer may shock you.

00:59:35.120 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

00:59:37.180 Sometimes I won't.

00:59:38.860 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

00:59:41.840 You have three new voice messages.

00:59:44.840 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

00:59:47.700 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

00:59:50.360 Longer than anybody else.

00:59:52.000 So great.

00:59:52.640 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:00:12.020 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:00:16.340 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:00:20.540 Third rule.

01:00:21.500 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:00:24.240 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:00:25.900 And yes, don't worry.

01:00:27.380 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - June 05, 2017

6-5-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #24

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