This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #601 - Dusty Slay

00:00:00.000 into crypto or your next ones. You know, everyone is health hacking these days. Biohacking. People

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00:01:41.720 But yeah, we've added some merch from when Bobby didn't wasn't helping me figure out how

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00:01:58.600 restock some old classics. Again, it's Theo Von store dot com. And thanks so much for

00:02:04.820 your support. Today's guest is a comedian from Opelika, Alabama. He has a new special out

00:02:13.340 on Netflix called Wet Heat. Wet Heat. He has his own podcast called We Are Having a Good

00:02:20.820 Time. I'm very thankful to spend time today with Mr. Dusty Slay.

00:02:26.820 Yeah. Hello. What's the I see the hat is a cold, cold wet wetzel hat. That's like cold. Yeah.

00:02:50.420 Well, what's the what's the lightning bolt? I don't know. It's probably weather. I mean,

00:02:55.400 they're doing all that weather seating now. Yeah. That cloud seating. Yeah, that's true.

00:02:59.380 Maybe he's involved in that. He is. He could be. I wouldn't be surprised. Get the record deal

00:03:04.240 now. He looks like he definitely he looks a little humid sometimes. Yeah. I do know. Yeah. Yeah.

00:03:15.140 But you look great, man. I appreciate it. Yeah. Good to see you. Congrats on the new special.

00:03:19.660 Thank you. Yeah. I'm pumped. I mean, it feels good. I'm your third one. You're kind of your third

00:03:25.160 one. Kind of. Yeah. I got a half hour. But these are, yeah, both self-produced, Wet

00:03:29.980 Heat and Working Man. So it's fun to, you know, Netflix does is not like, hey, we're going

00:03:35.900 to give you a special. I have to film it and then sell it to them. Yeah. So it feels good

00:03:40.620 that they're buying it. And you do the work, man. Yeah. So you were trending yesterday or

00:03:45.260 the day before on Netflix. That had to feel good. Yeah, it felt good. I hit seven. I was,

00:03:49.860 you know, last time I think I hit two. No way. But seven is still good, though. I like

00:03:54.920 seven. Oh, well, a lot of people are still really stuck in that missing woman off the

00:03:58.800 cruise ship. Oh, okay. And it's hard to go up against that. Yeah, because they put a

00:04:03.760 special up against TV. So if you watch a full season of a show, then that's like, you know,

00:04:10.400 each episode is a watch. We have to watch a special over and over again to get that kind

00:04:16.600 of you're lying. I think that's how it works. Yeah. Like if you're watching Seinfeld, every

00:04:21.740 episode is a watch. Yeah. And most people watch a comedy special one time. Oh, if someone's

00:04:27.720 watching it more than one time, they're not. Yeah, there's I think they're probably kidnapped

00:04:32.720 or whatever. They're not doing that. They're locked in my basement. And they're also called

00:04:39.600 my wife. That's another person, dude. Dude, you know what I was thinking yesterday? Dude, they

00:04:44.640 don't have any more. There's not a lot of cross-eyed people anymore. Yeah, you don't 1.00

00:04:50.640 see it a lot. Maybe glasses are fixing it. But yeah, you don't see it. Were you part of

00:04:55.520 like that cross-eyed realm or whatever? No, no. I mean, I don't think I was ever cross-eyed.

00:05:00.520 I might have been in the realm. Yeah. Because I remember people with an eye, you know, there'd

00:05:05.600 be. Now, I got some land out in McMinnville and I went into a, I wonder, I thought it was a

00:05:11.020 thrift store. It turned out to be a museum. And the guy, the guy had a bad eye. You know,

00:05:18.020 I think he had a glass eye and he, I think he was excited I was in there. Oh, yeah. Because

00:05:23.040 he didn't have anybody to tell stories to. He talked to me for a long time. That's beautiful.

00:05:27.920 So they are still out there. They're just in, they're hidden away. And that's McMinnville,

00:05:32.460 Tennessee. Yeah. McMinnville, Tennessee. I haven't been there. Is that a nice community?

00:05:35.780 It is nice. I got a little land there. I got a little cabin where I'm trying to build

00:05:39.140 an orchard, but McMinnville feels real tucked away. It's a good bit off the interstate.

00:05:43.760 Wow. That's beautiful looking. Yeah. Mountain town. You got a lot of kayaking, a lot of, uh.

00:05:48.760 Really? Yeah. That's the nursery capital of the world, they say.

00:05:51.840 Because of what? Just birth rate or whatever? No, like, like, uh, trees, like plant nursery.

00:05:56.920 Oh, damn, brother. Hell yeah. No, I'm from Opelika, Alabama. 0.99

00:06:00.880 Oh, okay. Sorry. You're from Alabama. But I got, you know, I just, uh, during COVID,

00:06:04.580 I was, uh, I didn't know what was happening. I had a little money. So I bought, uh, 10 acres of

00:06:10.120 land. Oh yeah. God. And I was like, if we never get to go back out to stores again, I want to walk

00:06:16.540 around some pasture land. Yeah. You know, and McMinnville, I mean, I walked into a restaurant

00:06:22.300 there with a mask on and that place was packed and I don't think they'd ever seen a mask. And I was

00:06:26.960 like, well, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah. I ripped it off. I mean, I was like, this is,

00:06:30.940 this is freedom out here. Yeah. Oh, you got to yell, right. When you pull it off, you know,

00:06:35.540 just to let people know, Oh, he didn't mean the mask. Exactly. Like he may, he may have gotten

00:06:43.140 the shot, but they'll never get the, uh, homophobia out of him. Right. Right. I'll never shake that.

00:06:49.520 Yeah. I mean, he may end up cross-eyed again. 1.00

00:06:51.380 Oh dude. Yeah. Cause sometimes a cross-eyed guy looks like somebody that wants to yell a racial 0.95

00:06:58.100 slur, but just won't let it out. Like if he did, it would just fix his fucking sight. Yeah. I mean, 0.99

00:07:02.740 then you don't know who he's looking at when he says it. That's true, dude. So it could be aimed at

00:07:06.960 anybody. Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. Um, but yeah, you don't see it anymore. I just remember when I

00:07:11.900 was a kid, you would see more of that. Didn't you think you saw more of that? Yeah. I felt like there

00:07:16.020 was like always like a, a slower class when I was in high school where you would see them come

00:07:20.940 through the hallway and you sometimes, some of them, you were like, I don't know why they're in

00:07:25.260 there. And others, you could clearly see why they were in there. Oh yeah. I feel like there would be

00:07:29.820 a guy with real thick glasses and you would not know what he's looking at. Yeah. Oh yeah. Just like

00:07:36.700 he almost like he should have worked for a submarine, but they discontinued him when they like

00:07:40.420 made the technology or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Like, Oh, he should be the one on top of the sub

00:07:45.860 holding his breath. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh dude. Totally. I broke the first wigger they ever had 1.00

00:07:53.040 in our town. They put in learning disabled, man. And I've talked about, I actually talked 1.00

00:07:56.200 about that on stage, but, um, and shout out Brian Purvis that has put some money on his books.

00:08:00.140 Actually. He's, uh, he didn't do it. He might've done it, but he's, he's in, I think he's in jail

00:08:04.520 now, but they'd never seen a white kid that wanted to be black and they threw him in there.

00:08:07.940 Oh yeah. That's too bad. The guy just had some style and some flair about him. Yeah. Yeah.

00:08:14.720 But he would just be in the hall, like doing like invisible crossovers on all the other

00:08:19.700 hand. So he was just like playing like just full court offense against the rest of the

00:08:23.760 He probably liked that he was in there. He's like, this is easy. I, this is a dream for

00:08:27.480 man. He probably did man. So far to get to the back of the bus.

00:08:31.900 Yeah. Yeah. True dude. Yeah, man. I just, there was times I remember you see that. Like

00:08:39.700 I just remember there used to be more disabilities that were normal. I felt like normalized. Yeah.

00:08:45.500 You know, like maybe they just didn't know where to put people. Right. So they were just

00:08:48.760 wandering around and you know, I grew up in a trailer park. So I felt like there was a

00:08:52.420 little bit of that in the trailer park, you know, you never knew if somebody was just

00:08:56.380 like, you know, real redneck, real country, or if they're just, you know, they got a speech

00:09:01.520 impediment. Oh yeah. Oh, well dude, even the name dusty. I mean, I remember there were

00:09:06.040 names that were kind of, I don't want to say weather related, but off like sunny, like

00:09:12.340 a windy. Yes. Sunny, windy, uh, dusty, uh, drizzle got into like the black kind of

00:09:21.280 country. Yeah. Yeah. But there was other ones. It was like, uh, Misty. Did we say

00:09:26.020 Misty? No, we didn't. And that was, yeah, that was a big one. Misty was very popular. Misty

00:09:30.900 felt like, I know some Misty, so I don't want to talk traction, but it felt like, yeah,

00:09:34.260 it was like they were attractive, but a little loose with it sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:09:39.360 Definitely. Like they'd put their bra on, but wouldn't touch, but wouldn't snap it together

00:09:43.320 in the back. Yeah. They want, yeah. They wanted people to see it. Yeah. Oh dude. Misty's

00:09:49.380 were usually pretty cute. Weren't they? I think so. I can't think of an unattractive Misty 0.99

00:09:53.720 ever. I know a few Misty's. That was kind of country hot, man. Yeah. That was kind

00:10:00.300 of country hot. Yeah. And you get, maybe you get a little Misty eyed around them. Maybe

00:10:04.720 that's why they named them that. Yeah. I'm trying to think, uh, yeah. Sunny, dusty, misty.

00:10:10.780 Oh, there was one more. We had a girl, her Stormy. Oh, Stormy. Yeah. Yeah. We had a

00:10:18.080 guy named Stormy Bernard that used to play, uh, volleyball in our town and they didn't 0.54

00:10:21.820 even have volleyball, but she told her, but she played it or whatever. Okay. Yeah. She

00:10:24.940 had good legs. Yeah. Yeah. If you have good legs, it's believable that you play volleyball

00:10:29.900 or, or softball. Yeah. That's believable. Girls with good legs and you just saw stoutness 1.00

00:10:35.840 about them. Like an attractive stoutness. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's nice. Yeah, dude. I loved,

00:10:41.500 I loved that about growing up like in a kind of a rural area because we weren't in a trailer

00:10:45.220 park. We were just kind of like in a white, just like it wasn't super redneck bus. It 0.92

00:10:51.240 was just like kind of trashy and no judgment. Shout out to everybody from McGee street, but

00:10:56.440 it just was what it was. You know, they know it. Nobody was fucking, nobody was pretending

00:11:00.480 what was going on. Yeah. We had a trailer park. Our trailer park was like half Asian. We had 0.98

00:11:04.800 a lot of Laotian people in Opelika. So really? Yeah. So our bus stop was, you know, me and

00:11:10.280 the Asian kids. Oh, that's beautiful. It was fun. Dude, y'all should have made a music video

00:11:14.820 or something. That's beautiful. It did seem exotic in a way. As I got older, I felt like

00:11:19.000 when I was getting off the bus with the Asian kids, it made me, it's like, it felt like 1.00

00:11:23.120 because you feel insecure about getting off at a trailer park. But when it's with the other

00:11:26.660 Asian kids, you feel like, well, you know, we got something going on here. Right. It's 0.98

00:11:30.520 almost like, look, I'm here supporting them. It gives you that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I

00:11:34.580 got, you know, I got a vibe. Yeah. You know, God, we're doing something. You wouldn't even

00:11:38.520 understand it. Yeah. You don't get what we got going on. Yeah. Oh, dude. Yeah. If

00:11:42.380 you'd have got off the bus with a bunch of Asian people, literally people would have 1.00

00:11:44.800 thought on my street, people would have thought that bus came from outer space. Like they just

00:11:48.580 didn't even, I'm sure it had to be like that by you. Like, do you have Laotian friends

00:11:52.420 there? Yeah. I mean, they were at my age. Yeah. We were friends. We hung out. One guy

00:11:56.820 named Enoi. We used to hang out. Enoi? Enoi. Yeah. Yeah. And we used to hang

00:12:01.280 out. We were, we were, and there was others, you know, there was a guy named Chukiot. He

00:12:05.540 was a little older than me. And then there was Hook. And then they had a sister named

00:12:08.940 Sherry. Ooh. Sherry's pretty hot. Yeah. Sherry was hot. Sherry was hot. I had, I actually

00:12:14.580 found some pictures of Sherry that she gave me when she was, when I was a senior. It's

00:12:19.180 probably like her junior pictures. Yeah. I found them in a notebook. Did you? I was

00:12:22.980 like, wow, I still got these pictures of Sherry. That's nice, dude. Yeah. God, she sounds

00:12:27.060 hot, dude. I, um. Namburi. Namburi was the last name. Namburi? Yeah. Sherry

00:12:33.180 Namburi? Sherry Namburi. Yeah. God, sign me up. Yeah. We had a girl named Treasure in

00:12:38.200 our neighborhood too, and she was hot. Oh, yeah. That feels oddly weather related, like

00:12:43.260 pirate ship, like you're out on the waters finding some treasure. Yeah. Stormy, dusty,

00:12:49.640 Treasure. All those are kind of. Rain. I didn't have any rains, but that's a name. Oh,

00:12:53.820 yeah. That's a name. I know a country ass rain lady that lives here. Oh, yeah? I know 1.00

00:12:58.280 like a real country lady named Rain. What, um, what was that trailer park like, man? How 1.00

00:13:03.780 was the vibes over there? Was it pretty cool? It was awesome. I mean, I loved it. We had,

00:13:07.580 it was like on a dirt road, about 20 trailers probably. Some tucked away a little bit in

00:13:12.140 the woods. And then on the front, like on the main street was houses. So we had some brick

00:13:16.580 houses. Then behind those was some trailer. And then on the end, two double wides. Ooh. We

00:13:21.400 had a, uh, Enoi lived in one double wide. And then a guy, uh, he went to a different

00:13:25.880 school and nicknamed Squirrel. Uh, and, uh, that was my friend. He had an above ground

00:13:30.640 pool. Oh. Yeah. So Squirrel had it going on. I mean, his parents were fighting all the

00:13:36.340 time, but they were, you know, he had a stepdad named Sid and Sid was always yelling at him. 0.97

00:13:41.000 But you could fight all you want when you're able to cool off in a damn above ground pool. 0.97

00:13:44.740 Exactly. Fucking heat things up. Yeah. We would pull out the tarp and we had a slip and 1.00

00:13:49.780 slide going, some Dawn dish detergent, huge tarp in his backyard. I mean, that was where

00:13:54.800 it's at. Squirrel had it going on. Oh, well, it sounds like he was doing well. In our neighborhood,

00:13:58.880 they had some dudes were over there smoking and getting BJs or whatever in an abandoned

00:14:04.200 above ground. Oh yeah. So something had happened. There'd been, I don't know what had happened,

00:14:08.880 but something had happened. It could have been a gravity thing. It could have been domestic

00:14:11.980 dispute. Somebody knifed it out or whatever, but the above ground, the water came out of it.

00:14:16.220 Oh yeah. And then over time or whatever, uh, like men would hide from their wives over there and

00:14:22.300 smoke a little weed or something at night or whatever, you know?

00:14:25.640 I always heard about that kind of stuff, like these kinds of things going on. I never could

00:14:29.260 get involved in that as a kid. Really?

00:14:31.820 Yeah. I mean, I felt like I was like, you know, I was like a good kid. I never could get involved in

00:14:37.420 that, uh, BJs and the above ground pool situation. 1.00

00:14:41.180 Damn, brother. And maybe that's for the best, you know? 0.99

00:14:43.860 I think it is. It turned out, you know, because the, the cool kids in the trailer park life,

00:14:49.180 they go to jail. They end up in jail.

00:14:53.380 Yeah, you're right.

00:14:54.440 You know what I mean? Because they got, you know, they're, they're getting into trouble and it seems

00:14:58.200 cool, but the trouble shirt on their tattooing each other. Yeah. Yeah. But then they end up in jail

00:15:04.840 and you're like, oh, I'm glad I wasn't like as cool. Now I was cool, but I was, you know,

00:15:10.200 cool in the not getting in trouble way. Yeah. You were like a Laotian hero.

00:15:14.240 Yeah. Cause the Laotian parents weren't letting that go down. They weren't involved in that either.

00:15:18.440 I don't even know that they liked them hanging out with me to be honest.

00:15:21.360 Wow. Just because you were like, you were close enough adjacent to the other group.

00:15:26.080 They didn't want you to be a gateway drug to. Yeah. And I was wearing bandanas and stuff,

00:15:32.420 you know, I was like, you know, camouflage bandanas, not red or, or, or blue. Yeah.

00:15:38.140 Like Willie Robinson or whatever. Yeah. Is it Robertson? Oh yeah. Yeah. More like that.

00:15:43.120 You know what? I'll be honest with you. I always put a T in there unnecessarily.

00:15:47.080 And it may have, it may have, they may have gotten rid of it. Who knows? A lot of people are

00:15:50.640 trying to hide from taxes. Yeah.

00:15:53.120 You know what I'm saying? They're like, Oh no, no, no. This is Willie Robertson. I'm Roberson.

00:16:03.300 Yeah. Now I will admit we look, we look similar. Yeah. I'll tell you straight up, man. I'm Roberson.

00:16:13.040 Um, are you two hot or cold? No, I feel great. Okay. Great. Um, perfect temperature. Really

00:16:19.820 feels good. Thanks. Yeah. I feel pretty good. I'm wearing, I'm trying a different shirt. I'm trying

00:16:24.900 to look a little different some days. I don't, there's a lot of times I don't feel like doing,

00:16:29.580 I want to stay in a similar pattern. I don't want to try something super new, but then every now and

00:16:34.180 then maybe three times a year, I'll get up and like, I'm going to try something different today.

00:16:37.960 Okay. You know? And so did I try, I thought I would try this. Yeah.

00:16:41.760 Shirt kind of, those kinds of shirts are hard for me. I feel like the nips always come through for me. 1.00

00:16:46.100 Oh really? Yeah. This, this is working here. I guess so. I guess I do. Yeah. I don't feel like

00:16:53.220 that. I don't feel like it all the time, but if I wear a real thin, like I used to wear thin shirts

00:16:57.940 for work and, uh, yeah, I could feel like I need the undershirt. Yeah. Ooh, the undershirt. I never

00:17:05.560 got into the undershirt. I was a big undershirt guy. You were? Yeah. What took you there? Well,

00:17:11.180 I guess you just told me. Well, I feel like undershirts were the thing for a while. Even t-shirts,

00:17:16.100 when I was in school, we would wear two t-shirts. Oh, that's crazy. You never, well, you grew

00:17:21.680 up in Louisiana. It's a bit hotter there. That's true. But you already had a shirt on to flex

00:17:26.200 and be like, Oh, cause you, in our neighborhood, we have people with no shirts on. Oh yeah. So

00:17:30.520 to be like, I'm going to wear two shirts. Yeah. And some guys like, you know, it looked like

00:17:36.380 you took his shirt. He didn't know a lot of math, but I'll tell you this, that didn't add

00:17:43.340 up. Or either he was like, you hold my shirt. If I need it, I'll come to you, but don't wrinkle

00:17:49.460 it. Keep it on. Yeah. Keep it fresh. Yeah. Yeah. I did. I do remember in a neighborhood and

00:17:55.080 like in our neighborhood, like if you got good grades, like that kind of shit wasn't cool. 0.99

00:17:58.400 Really. You didn't want to be like too smart. You didn't want, you know, you kind of just 0.99

00:18:02.880 had to play the game of like fitting in, but not fitting too in. Yeah. You know, my dad

00:18:09.240 would make fun of me for reading, but also wanted me to make good grades. And I was like,

00:18:14.820 I got, it's one or the other here. You can't make fun of me for doing the homework and go,

00:18:20.560 why are you not passing? Oh, you can't have your C-A-K-E and eat it too. You know what 1.00

00:18:25.900 I'm saying? Yeah. If you spell in front of him, he wouldn't get it. Oh God. Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:30.480 He would make, my dad has said, I've heard my dad say, I ain't never read a book. He likes,

00:18:35.480 that's a brag for him. Yeah. And I'm not a big reader, but I've read a book, you know?

00:18:42.480 Yeah, dude. Oh, in our neighborhood, it was like, if somebody could whistle really good,

00:18:46.960 they had fucking clout, you know? Oh yeah. Like, oh, fucking get Donnie over here. You can 0.99

00:18:51.680 fucking hear, get him over here. And you, somebody would go get Donnie and he'd come 0.99

00:18:55.920 down on his bike and he'd, you know, he's an adult with a bike, you know, but he'd get 0.92

00:18:59.700 there and he'd pull up and he'd fucking have half a can of beer and then he'd whistle, 0.94

00:19:04.440 you know? It's the weird talents. Yeah. It's like, you got it. You got a little something. 0.92

00:19:09.140 Yeah. There was just something like, but I think it was just like what it was like. That

00:19:12.740 was just the energy around, you know, it was just kind of calm people doing stuff. It

00:19:17.120 was just pretty basic back then. Yeah. Like even just have, like Squirrel had laser disc

00:19:22.600 and I remember that my mom worked at a plant that made VHS tapes. Oh God. So I told my mom

00:19:28.500 that Squirrel had laser disc and she got real mad at me because I guess I came home bragging

00:19:34.700 about the stuff that Squirrel had at his house and laser disc was a potential threat to her

00:19:40.560 income. To your family. Yeah. You're, you're down there in the other double wide. Yeah. Look,

00:19:46.540 swimming in an above ground pool, watching laser disc. Living high on the hog. Yeah. God. Yeah.

00:19:52.860 Meanwhile, my mom wasn't yelling at me like Squirrel's mom was, but I'm like, these things

00:19:57.360 seem cool. Yeah. I could take a little yelling for a few perks. Oh yeah, for sure. Oh, my

00:20:05.320 big thing was peeing on the floor in my room. I remember when I was a kid, that was like one

00:20:08.880 of my big tricks or whatever. Like I never could whistle. Uh, and then I'm trying to think of

00:20:14.400 what else had, Oh, what would peeing on the floor give you? Just fucking being like, I can 0.99

00:20:20.100 do whatever I want. Yeah. Like my mom can't do nothing. I'll pee in the floor if I want. 0.99

00:20:25.120 Okay. We'll show them. You can't be in the floor at your trailer or your house, but I can. Yeah.

00:20:31.020 Yeah. Oh dude. I think there was a part of me that thought like one day I'm going to have

00:20:35.240 my whole room fucking collapse right into the fucking living room. I'll show all these 0.99

00:20:39.160 motherfuckers like an alien spaceship just landing, you know? Oh yeah. Um, what else? Yeah. 1.00

00:20:45.780 Oh, I remember my buddy's dad got his wife. So my buddy's mom got her a window, like their

00:20:53.360 window had been out for a while and he got him a window and he put it in upside down.

00:20:59.120 Right. So it was like, fuck, but it wasn't coming out. 0.99

00:21:02.540 So you just come, let it down like that. You let it down. Like it's a car. 1.00

00:21:06.800 Yeah. So it was just, yeah, it wasn't bad, but it was just, he might be sitting out there

00:21:12.840 with his arm propped up on it like he's riding in the truck.

00:21:18.980 Yeah. He just leans into the house like, how you doing?

00:21:25.360 Misty's out in the yard. He's letting it down.

00:21:29.880 Yeah, dude. Shit like that. Just regular shit. 1.00

00:21:32.760 I've just been in here peeing in the floor. 1.00

00:21:36.080 Hold on. Let me put a cork in my wiener and I'll come out there and take a look at that new,

00:21:41.420 that's fucking damn. That thing works with gravity at window, huh? That's different. 1.00

00:21:46.960 Yeah. That's the way.

00:21:49.380 It really is.

00:21:50.420 Yeah.

00:21:50.820 Because the old way where you push the window up, that you're defying gravity.

00:21:54.800 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:55.180 That's damn wizardry. 1.00

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00:24:02.840 Slash Theo. Yeah, man. There was just stuff like that about growing up. Was it real poor by you,

00:24:08.700 or did it feel organized? Did anybody have that trailer with the lattice work around the bottom

00:24:13.180 of it? Well, I think we all had 10. I mean, I got to think somebody had lattice, but you know,

00:24:18.860 our trailer, we had 10 around. Okay, but you did have that skirt on. Yeah, we had it covered. Oh, 0.96

00:24:23.440 yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's actually not bad right there. That looks good. Yeah. But you

00:24:28.640 know, then cats can get in there and lay, have babies under the trailer. Oh, with that lattice

00:24:33.200 work? Yeah. They could squeeze their little head under there, and then they get in there, 1.00

00:24:36.440 and they start tearing out your insulation, and they have babies up in there. God damn. 0.99

00:24:41.060 You just hear a lot of meowing all the time. Oh, dude. Well, also, a lot of those baby cats 1.00

00:24:46.640 are the asbestos cats or whatever, which they're, you know, because a lot of them get up in that

00:24:51.540 insulation like you're saying. Oh, yeah. They get that asbestos on them. And then you let

00:24:54.660 them in the trailer, and now you're all itchy. Oh, dude. Well, I would notice, I'd pet a cat

00:24:59.640 about 40 times, and my hand would have little cuts on it. Oh, yeah. God damn.

00:25:03.360 You could give a cat allergy. Oh, dude. The asbestos cats needs to be a group of cats that 1.00

00:25:10.120 save a fucking trailer park. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you could line the cats up as insulation if 0.99

00:25:15.600 they got enough in there. Just put a little bit of tuna paste on the walls in there and

00:25:22.120 have them in there. Oh, yeah. Yeah. God, yeah. There was something, they had lattice work.

00:25:26.660 I remember that was one good thing you would see. Dude, somebody, we had a balcony or whatever.

00:25:30.700 We lived in like, it was like four apartments next to each other, and they, somebody stole

00:25:36.360 our, would steal the wood from our balcony, right? Oh, yeah. And so. Like, just wood they

00:25:41.680 had laying up there or like, oh, you're railing. Oh, they'd steal it all. If you can find that

00:25:46.820 photo, it's out there somewhere. So we come back sometimes, and my sister, each one of the

00:25:52.120 bedrooms had like a door upstairs that would go out to the balcony, right? And it didn't get

00:25:56.860 you anywhere. It was still in our neighborhood. We thought like, you know, I remember the first

00:25:59.600 time going up there. You go right there. Now zoom in on that bitch. Oh, they took your 1.00

00:26:03.780 whole porch. Oh, fuck yeah, they did. But then you'd see it, you know, three weeks later, 1.00

00:26:09.860 you'd see they'd have built a fucking fence or something in their shit. And we're like, 1.00

00:26:13.360 bitch. You're like, that's the color of my porch. Yeah. That's our fucking balcony, bitch. 1.00

00:26:18.260 And I'm like, no, it ain't. Like, motherfucker. Who do you think carved God help us into one 1.00

00:26:24.620 of those boards? Yeah. With my initials under it. That's why you got to pee in your room.

00:26:33.180 You can't go out on the balcony anymore. Dude, I mean, shit. Zoom back in on that bitch. I 1.00

00:26:37.300 hadn't looked at this in years. But yeah, dude, people would fucking steal the wood and they 0.97

00:26:42.520 would steal. We had a fence right in front of that bottom door downstairs. And so people 0.98

00:26:47.040 would steal that shit. So you have to go fucking find it. My mom slapped a kid one time because 1.00

00:26:51.620 they took it and she had to go to jail. We had a barn. My dad had a barn and we used

00:26:56.680 to, we would take wood off the barn to build a clubhouse. Oh yeah. And we thought the barn

00:27:01.760 was abandoned. And my dad went out there one day. He's like, where's all the wood? And

00:27:06.620 then he sees our clubhouse. Dude, imagine having such a shitty childhood that you think part 0.98

00:27:13.720 of your fucking home is abandoned. You're like, well, fucking that's abandoned. He's like, 1.00

00:27:19.180 that's where I work. That's crazy, dude. Yeah. But the trailer park that I lived in,

00:27:27.400 it did feel good. It felt organized. It felt, you know, but there was, you know, there was

00:27:31.600 for a while, my sister lived next door to us in a trailer. So we had a trailer. My sister

00:27:36.120 and her husband had the next one and she married into a guy who had two kids already. So there

00:27:40.860 was, you know, a bunch of kids. We had our own little courtyard there in the middle.

00:27:44.180 Oh, that's nice. And it kind of sounds like, and then people, my mom had a phone and people

00:27:49.160 would come over and borrow the phone, you know, landline. Oh yeah. So it'd have that long cord.

00:27:53.720 And so people would be out on the back porch on the phone with the door closed. Like they

00:27:58.400 still want privacy, even though they're using my phone.

00:28:04.140 Hey, look, we're going to listen. If you came over here, we're going to listen. Yeah. Oh dude,

00:28:13.360 that was things like that were so much fun. Well, one thing that money gets you is privacy

00:28:17.420 or even just like, that's one thing I even saw. I think when I was young, like when you

00:28:21.940 were poor, everything was right there. You could hear the neighbors, you know, in the apartment,

00:28:25.640 somebody else would cook something. It would come through your vents. Oh yeah. So you're hungry

00:28:29.460 and you're like, fuck, they got all that shit. And now you're yelling through the vents, you 1.00

00:28:33.600 know, fuck y'all, you know, but order, you know, but also ordering like a number seven 1.00

00:28:37.300 or whatever, you know? So, you know, it's just like, but you would hear if somebody was 0.99

00:28:42.780 doing something bad or whatever, if somebody was domestic dispute, you would hear all of

00:28:46.520 that. Yeah. My buddy, his, his mom, he lived next door. His mom had him when she was real

00:28:53.180 young. So she was like, you know, we were like, you know, early teens and she was still

00:28:58.200 pretty attractive and her and her husband or her boyfriend, I heard them like having 0.84

00:29:02.720 sex and the, and the trailer wall is real thin. So I can hear it out in the yard. And

00:29:07.660 I was like, me and my buddy, not the buddy that was his mom, but another guy, we're like

00:29:11.080 creeping up to the, and my mom's out there raking the yard. She's like, get away from 1.00

00:29:15.340 there. But we're like, you know, we're like, this is pretty fun. We're here. What's

00:29:18.560 happening. Yeah. We're hearing this attractive lady have sex. God. Middle of the day. Oh yeah. 0.99

00:29:24.640 That was like, you know, that could have been Cinemax for us. Oh dude, you don't just get

00:29:30.740 something like that unless God has favor. Yeah. I don't think anyway, that's not an accident.

00:29:37.060 First of all, two people comfortable enough to make love. And it was it drug induced you

00:29:42.180 think? Or at least alcohol induced. Okay. So, so, but yeah, but at least two people making

00:29:46.720 love during the day and not, neither one of them is a victim of something. And they're being

00:29:52.580 loud. Yeah. They're brave then. It's like, you know, we can hear it. My mom's doing yard

00:29:59.800 work out here. We're into it though. We're like, this is what I'm talking about. Well,

00:30:08.420 what if you don't really figure out and you see your mom just rubbing the, like the rake

00:30:11.900 across the ground and it's like, oh, and you're like, what is she? What kind of new grass is

00:30:17.360 that? She's like, she just keeps raking. I'm like, you're working too hard. She's 0.96

00:30:22.640 like, I enjoy it. She's trying to cover for him. Yeah. She's over there. Sorry, man.

00:30:31.460 I was just laughing like this. That's hilarious, dude. Yeah. I just look like there was always

00:30:36.740 something great about being in like in a shitty neighborhood kind of, you know, because everybody

00:30:44.360 was right. If you wanted a friend, they were right there. They were everybody, everything 0.51

00:30:47.580 was right there. But then also all the drama and the bullshit was right there. Like if 0.99

00:30:53.640 people were fighting, if people were like, you know, the dad was leaving, everything was

00:30:58.440 right there. So everybody knew everything you couldn't. It kind of was sad sometimes because

00:31:03.340 you didn't feel like anything was personal to you. It, there was nothing you could keep

00:31:07.260 for yourself. Yeah. Does that make any sense? Yeah. I think, uh, living in trailers, you're at

00:31:12.160 least spread out a little bit. Whereas apartments, yeah, you would be right up. I mean, cause I've

00:31:16.180 lived in apartments since then, but yeah, we called the police on a church one time for

00:31:21.740 playing their music too late, uh, on a weekday. Like the church was real close. I still think

00:31:28.320 about that, that we all agreed at the trailer to call the police on the church. It couldn't

00:31:34.400 have been that loud. We could just hear it. Yeah. It wasn't keeping us up. Right. But we

00:31:40.640 were like, no, I don't think so guys. God, this is, I mean, they need to turn that shit 1.00

00:31:44.480 down. Cause that's how it starts. I mean, should they turn that down and somebody else 1.00

00:31:47.420 is like, somebody else has had a beer and they're like, I can't hear my music. It just

00:31:55.560 gets weird. Um, there's always talk like tornadoes is such a big thing with trailer parks. Was

00:32:01.280 that a part of y'all's thing or not really? Well, I think any storm is scary. Uh, when

00:32:06.660 you live in a trailer, right? It's like, uh, you know, we were just talking like, uh, about, uh,

00:32:11.720 weather and like what, what storm is the scariest. And somebody said earthquakes was the scariest

00:32:16.600 for them. But I'm like, I grew up in a trailer. Earthquake was the least of our worries. There's

00:32:21.060 nothing even really to fall on you, but it's tornadoes are tornadoes. Even when we grew up

00:32:26.760 under pine trees, we had a ice storm once that froze a tree limb and the tree limb fell

00:32:32.340 and it stabbed through the roof of the trailer and hit a shelf. My mom had a bunch of ceramic

00:32:38.580 owls on it and they went everywhere. Yeah. It's a, it's heartbreaking. Yeah. That shit is

00:32:44.500 heartbreaking. But so all weather. And so yeah, tornado, we had a tornadoes blow trees down 1.00

00:32:49.620 on our trailer one time. Oh, well down in Alabama, I think they have the worst trees. If a strong

00:32:56.400 storm tornado does show up, they literally have these tall ponds there. You can't really do

00:33:02.320 anything with them. They drop pine cones or someone's fun around the holidays or whatever,

00:33:05.800 but they're a million feet tall and literally just waiting to fricking kill somebody.

00:33:10.760 Yeah. Yeah. I felt one fell across the trailer. Another one fell on top of it. 0.97

00:33:14.580 It's almost like they're doing a game like that. Um, like hands on the baseball bat,

00:33:18.400 like whoever gets to the top, you know, it's like the, the, the pot, they're just going to

00:33:21.560 keep falling until somebody. Yeah. And trailers are just right under. I mean, the, the tree

00:33:26.360 weighs more than the trailer does. Oh, there's more wood in the tree than there is in the

00:33:32.080 trail. Oh yeah. It's like the tree is almost like here, use us. We're right here. You're

00:33:38.580 living in this aluminum. The tree's trying to help. Oh God, dude. Yeah. That kind of shit

00:33:46.880 just fucking, I'm trying to think of whatever else really got me. Uh, Oh dude. Well, one 1.00

00:33:52.540 time when it froze, when there was a freezing in the South, it was a big thing. Huge deal.

00:33:58.000 And one kid, I remember we had a basketball game and it was a freezing and we were playing

00:34:02.720 like the rival town and it froze. Right. And it snowed at halftime and it hadn't snowed

00:34:07.740 in our town and probably 30 years or something. And so people were fucking going crazy and 0.95

00:34:12.600 fucking drinking Dr. Pepper really fast and just fucking amped up, you know, and stealing 1.00

00:34:18.280 gas from each other, that kind of shit. People were excited. Yeah. And one kid, this kid 1.00

00:34:23.240 Lucas had went outside and an icicle, I guess, had formed on a tree at some point and had 0.98

00:34:28.160 fallen and hit him right under his fucking eye and messed his eye up really bad. And 0.98

00:34:32.440 his mom tried to like sue the city or whatever and all kinds of shit. And she's like, I remember 0.50

00:34:37.020 she's like, he was never the same. And I knew that fucking kid for that. He was never the 1.00

00:34:42.900 same before it happened. You know what I'm saying? He was. Yeah. The icicle didn't really

00:34:46.980 mess up his path. Yeah. I think you didn't get it. You didn't get a strong take on your

00:34:51.600 son before that icicle hit him. Right. Oh, it's easy to show up once there's a weather

00:34:58.300 lawsuit, you know? Yeah. The city's like, well, show us some of his accomplishments prior

00:35:02.740 to this. Yeah. And he was just a downward stalk out of the gate, I think, you know? I

00:35:09.220 mean, he couldn't even fucking whistle. I remember people were like, boo. But yeah, there was something 0.99

00:35:14.860 growing up like in like a place that like, I don't know. Shit like that was just fun, 0.99

00:35:19.700 man. Well, yeah, you just get, you got some character. There's not a lot going on. Yeah. 1.00

00:35:23.820 You know, I mean, you know, we. You made the most of it. Yeah. I mean, we were just hanging.

00:35:28.160 I mean, talk about pine cones. It's like, we love pine cones. We used to throw them at

00:35:32.040 each other. You build fires out of the pine straw, burn pine cones, get a fresh pine cone

00:35:37.640 that's not spread out. It's real hard. Oh, yeah. A lot of spikes on it. A virgin when 0.98

00:35:42.520 are underage when some guys call them. Yeah. Not like these old, old wore out, stretched 0.99

00:35:47.720 out pine cones. Oh, yeah. Like a fresh green one. We'd throw rocks at each other. We'd ride

00:35:54.180 the bike. I remember there were these girls riding bikes up and down the, and we were throwing 0.95

00:35:58.460 rocks at them. Fuck yeah. And my buddy missed and hit me in the head. Oh, yeah. And I was 1.00

00:36:03.760 bleeding. I started crying. You know, there's no one to sue. Well, also, dude, that's another

00:36:11.240 thing about being poor. There's no, who are you going to sue the other person? Nobody

00:36:14.660 has shit. No attorney is going to support either one of you guys. Dude, one time we're 1.00

00:36:19.340 riding on the school bus and this kid, Jason, and he was, came from a pretty shirtless

00:36:24.140 family. Like somebody got this shirt, but they had to like, not everybody got it or

00:36:28.780 whatever. But he, on the bus that day, he's like, he found a rock that was pretty

00:36:33.040 good. And he's like, I'm throwing this bitch today. You know, he was just fired up or 1.00

00:36:37.120 whatever because I think his birthday was coming up. And he's like, I'm throwing this

00:36:40.640 motherfucker today. Somebody's going to get hit by this bitch. And he kept showing 1.00

00:36:44.420 it to me. We kind of hung out in different little realms of school. They had like, at

00:36:48.200 our school, they had the Hick Tree, Prep Tree, Blacks kind of went out wherever they 1.00

00:36:54.480 wanted kind of. And then Hick Tree, Prep Tree, and one other thing, I think it was just

00:37:00.600 like people that listen to Soundgarden or whatever, you know?

00:37:03.160 Oh yeah, like a, yeah, like a grunge.

00:37:05.540 Yes.

00:37:05.780 Yeah.

00:37:06.300 Like a grunge thing. And so anyway, he was over by the Hick Tree and he's like, and I

00:37:12.080 would hang out over by the Prep Tree. I just had more friends over there. And at one point,

00:37:16.840 uh, he had his rock. He's all ready. I'd forgot about it. So at recess that day, I'm fucking

00:37:22.060 hanging out over there. Fucking rock comes, hits me right in the fucking head. Of all the 1.00

00:37:27.360 people, he didn't even aim at him. He just hummed that bitch. Fucking took me right out. 1.00

00:37:32.080 You were hanging out under the wrong tree that day. 0.99

00:37:34.220 Yeah, but still. I'm like, dude, just fucking, I'm the only guy you know over there. 0.98

00:37:40.020 And he probably was just throwing at the Prep Tree. 0.99

00:37:42.920 A hundred percent.

00:37:43.840 He's just like, I want to hit somebody under the Prep Tree. They think they're better than 0.87

00:37:47.400 me.

00:37:47.800 Yeah, totally. 0.99

00:37:48.320 I want to hit people under the Prep Tree. That's my attitude. That would have been my, 0.98

00:37:52.480 I didn't throw the rock, but you know, my mindset was I'd like to throw a rock over there.

00:37:57.460 Yeah, somebody's going to feel a little bit of my pain today, dude.

00:37:59.600 And I had friends over there too. Yeah. I had friends in the Hick Tree, the Prep Tree,

00:38:04.240 the Black Tree. I had to have friends under all of them. Yeah. You know?

00:38:07.580 God, dude. And I might've even been over there just bumming money off of some kids.

00:38:10.740 Even the Laotian Tree. Yeah.

00:38:11.880 They were all my friends.

00:38:12.640 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:38:14.720 Oh, dude, I met some good Laotians. You know who's Laotian? There's a comedian named

00:38:18.140 Lucas Sealy.

00:38:20.760 Oh, I don't know Lucas.

00:38:22.380 Lucas Sealy. He lives in Montana now, I believe. He took me up there to, they had a Montana comedy

00:38:27.000 festival. We had a good time up there.

00:38:29.020 Um, but he's Laotian. I met some decent Laotians over the years and I'd love to meet more of

00:38:34.460 them to be honest with you. Well, Opelika is the spot. I think that's the Laotian of Alabama. 0.56

00:38:39.460 Yeah.

00:38:39.820 Laos of Alabama. I guess Laotian's not the country. 1.00

00:38:43.300 Yeah. Oh, there you go right there. Lucas Sealy. I believe he is Laotian. Uh, he runs a,

00:38:49.420 yeah, a lot of good food there. He, uh, his family has a egg roll truck.

00:38:56.160 Okay. Um, wet heat, man. That's what you're calling the special.

00:39:00.640 Yeah. Wet heat. And, uh, uh, it's, uh, I like the, I like the name because you don't know what

00:39:05.620 the name might mean, right? You don't know. It could be, um, Hey, we're, um, we're taught,

00:39:10.300 we're doing a 90s sitcom. There's a little murder, a little sex. You don't know. It could be a buddy 0.85

00:39:15.360 cop film that takes place in Miami, but it's a weather joke, wet heat, uh, humidity. I go out

00:39:22.180 to Phoenix, you know, and they're always like, Oh, I'll go, it's real hot out here. And they go,

00:39:26.220 yeah, but it's a dry heat, you know? And like, they're like, their heat is better than my heat.

00:39:31.440 Right. And I get defensive and I go, yeah, but I like a wet heat. So that's what I tell them. I like

00:39:36.140 a wet heat. So that's why it's called that. I like it's a great special. Like I had another one

00:39:42.480 called working man. That's on Netflix. Now it's very good. I think wet heat's better. I like that.

00:39:47.600 I I'm very pumped about it. I'm all about a full spec. I got a lot of callbacks, you know,

00:39:52.820 I got a lot of things that a couple of themes that come around a couple of times. And I like that.

00:39:58.060 It's like a, you know, it's like a pink Floyd album. The whole thing matters.

00:40:01.480 Yeah. I watched about 15 minutes of it and, uh, I enjoyed it, man. I like how I kind of get in

00:40:06.680 and then there's some spots are really just surprised. Like I knew you always know you're

00:40:11.600 going to laugh most of the time, but there's some spots where I really just found myself

00:40:15.620 just like, uh, surprise. I can't tell if it was the delivery. I don't know what it is,

00:40:21.840 but just really enjoying it, man.

00:40:24.160 Well, I appreciate that. And you know, it's about 70 minutes. So if you watch it 15 minutes

00:40:29.280 at a time, you got, you got about, I don't know, I'm not good at math, but maybe about

00:40:33.360 four more settings, you know?

00:40:36.360 Oh yeah. I can invite friends over and have it in installments.

00:40:38.900 Yeah. Come over, watch another 15 minutes of the special with me.

00:40:44.120 Yeah. I was trying to think, cause I don't know if I'm at the part, oh, I am at a part

00:40:47.560 where there's a lot of urine in it and talking about peeing and growing up and how many times

00:40:51.480 men pee or don't pee.

00:40:53.580 Yeah. I mean, I got, you know, I got a lot of bodily functions in there, probably more

00:40:57.080 so than any special I put out, but I like, you know, I just, I pee a lot. I drink a lot

00:41:01.460 of water and I'm out here peeing.

00:41:03.660 Yeah. And it's a wet heat.

00:41:05.220 Yeah. It is a wet heat.

00:41:06.460 How do you...

00:41:07.040 Pee is a wet heat.

00:41:09.540 It's the ultimate wet heat.

00:41:10.880 Oh, that's a, that's something I missed. That's a theme I missed.

00:41:14.240 Well, I won't even wear, I notice at night, honestly, Dusty, I won't even wear those tight

00:41:19.700 underpants anymore because I don't, it pushes on my bladder.

00:41:23.660 Yeah. I don't like that.

00:41:24.560 I mean, think about this because I've been buying these kind of semi-tight undies or whatever

00:41:28.800 and it kind of, you know, it's tight. The band up here is tight.

00:41:33.180 Yeah.

00:41:33.540 And so then my bladder doesn't even get to fully expand and hold a normal amount.

00:41:38.220 Oh, yeah.

00:41:38.880 And so all, like twice, twice a night I have to get up extra just because I've chosen

00:41:42.560 tight undies. 0.50

00:41:43.860 Yeah. You got to just get loose with it. Just let it free. You know?

00:41:47.300 I want to almost make a good cotton undie because they say a lot of those polyamorous 0.97

00:41:51.580 or polymethylene underpants or whatever, the plastic's getting in people's nuts.

00:41:56.780 I'm all about 100% cotton. I wear 100% cotton underwear. These socks are not. Jeans are.

00:42:03.140 Sure it is. 100% cotton. I'm all about it. I like linen, wool, cotton. That's where I'm

00:42:08.100 at these days.

00:42:08.720 Really?

00:42:09.140 Not together. All on their own.

00:42:11.220 Oh, yeah. I don't mix meats. You know what I'm saying?

00:42:13.020 You don't want to blend it.

00:42:14.220 That's crazy.

00:42:15.540 Yeah. That's where it's at, though. And I think I got like a pee paranoia almost. Like

00:42:23.120 if I'm getting on the plane, I'm like, I got to go pee because if I get on the plane and

00:42:27.640 then we sit there for a while, I won't have, you know, because if you board early, you sit

00:42:32.780 down.

00:42:33.220 That's a good point.

00:42:33.720 And then by the time everybody else is boarded and then you take off, it's like, it's a long

00:42:38.420 time to get to pee.

00:42:39.720 There's no way to win that exactly.

00:42:41.540 Yeah. And then some.

00:42:43.020 Flight attendant goes in the bathroom and they're in there all day. I'm like, what

00:42:46.780 are you doing in there?

00:42:48.220 Sudoku.

00:42:48.860 Yeah.

00:42:49.540 We know it.

00:42:50.400 Yeah.

00:42:50.820 So we know it.

00:42:53.380 Yeah.

00:42:54.060 But yeah, it's like there is no way to leverage that perfectly where you, because if you get

00:43:00.880 on early, then you have to wait all that time before you even leave. Whereas if you wait

00:43:05.040 and pee and get on last, that's kind of nice. But then you have to wait all that whole time

00:43:09.100 in that line.

00:43:10.320 Yeah. I feel like sometimes I feel like I go, no, I want to board at the end. I'm

00:43:13.820 just going to chill, but I can't, I can't chill. I'm like, no, I got to get on right

00:43:18.060 now. I got to get on. Let's go ahead and get on.

00:43:20.460 Yeah.

00:43:21.160 There's a lot of, I don't want to call it anxiety because I'm not, I'm not anxious about

00:43:25.320 it, but I'm like, no, I could get on right now. I'm going to go ahead and do it.

00:43:28.600 And then I'm on.

00:43:29.340 Yeah.

00:43:29.800 Cause anything out there, you see the gate agent, you see them, the gate agent, they're

00:43:35.520 basically the St. Peter with a, with a lot of times mental conditions, right? They don't

00:43:41.280 fucking, they'll be like the gates closed, gates not closed. They'll be like, we're 0.99

00:43:45.580 full, not, you know what I'm saying? You don't know how they're going to be feeling.

00:43:49.100 And that, you know, they don't get treated well by people. I realized that, but it must

00:43:53.500 be a hard life. They don't seem happy. No. And then you, every, every time you go talk

00:43:58.920 to them, they just do like this. They just do like this. They're just typing away.

00:44:02.160 Like that cat, like that cat me. Yeah. They're just typing away. And it's like, what are you

00:44:06.640 typing? What are you typing back there? Oh, they're probably just typing down the F word

00:44:11.940 over and over again. That's what I'd be doing. You know, I think anyway.

00:44:18.360 I'm going to ask to see the screen.

00:44:25.260 What else? Oh, you sold pesticides. Is that true?

00:44:27.960 Yeah. So pesticides, I was a pesticide sale. I sold to Lowe's and Home Depot. That's what

00:44:32.540 I did for years. I lived in Charleston, South Carolina.

00:44:34.860 Did you really do that? I used to live on King street.

00:44:36.880 Oh, you live on King street?

00:44:37.940 I used to live above the Bay Bay store for probably about eight months.

00:44:40.360 Oh, amazing. I lived on Burns Alley, which is right off King.

00:44:45.520 Was it over there by Kickin' Chicken or something?

00:44:48.200 Yeah. Really close to Kickin' Chicken.

00:44:49.660 God, it was so good.

00:44:50.620 I used to tear the Kickin' Chicken up.

00:44:52.440 If it was good. God.

00:44:54.460 Yeah.

00:44:55.000 Oh, hell yeah, dude.

00:44:56.260 Yeah. I lived in Charleston for 10 years from 2003 to 2014.

00:45:01.980 Great place.

00:45:02.660 I loved it. So that's where I started comedy and I waited tables.

00:45:08.580 That's Kickin' Chicken right there.

00:45:10.480 Yeah.

00:45:10.720 But it used to be different. That must be another location. They had a downtown, like just a little.

00:45:14.880 I think downtown's gone now. The downtown Kickin' Chicken's gone.

00:45:17.340 Yeah, it's been a while.

00:45:18.260 Yeah.

00:45:18.740 They had a little alley and then they had that Harris Teeter over there. Was that there?

00:45:21.640 Harris Teeter, yeah.

00:45:22.900 Yeah.

00:45:23.100 They had that joint. And then I worked at a bar called O'Brien. I think it was called O'Brien's.

00:45:29.040 I think I remember an O'Brien's.

00:45:30.320 It was an Irish bar.

00:45:31.480 On King Street.

00:45:32.180 Yeah.

00:45:32.720 Yeah, I think I remember that.

00:45:33.180 And they had a band that played in there like once a week. It was a cover band. And I would

00:45:36.920 go listen to them.

00:45:37.620 What was the cover band? I feel like there was like a Molly Janes or a Janes. Ah, there

00:45:45.500 was something like that. They were there forever.

00:45:48.440 Yeah.

00:45:48.960 Dude, I've tried to remember the name of that cover band for the past five years and I

00:45:53.660 can't remember.

00:45:54.280 Ah, yeah, they were there forever. I remember hearing them when I first moved there, everybody

00:45:58.920 was advertising them and then they were still going.

00:46:01.340 And they would play Climb to Safety by Widespread Panic. And I would, they played a lot of like

00:46:05.260 songs everybody knew like sing-alongs. Yeah.

00:46:07.020 But they also played Climb to Safety by Widespread Panic and I fucking loved it. And one time 0.85

00:46:11.860 they let me get up there and ring like a, ring a little bell or something.

00:46:15.640 Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, like pre-internet Charleston was like, I don't know, it was just great. It was like this nice little hidden city. I lived on Folly Beach for a while.

00:46:26.260 Dude, Folly Beach, people would surf out there.

00:46:28.040 Yeah.

00:46:28.440 People would get surf angry out there and she'd be like, you dropped in on my wave and she'd be like, dude, what are you?

00:46:33.260 I know.

00:46:33.700 What is anybody talking about here?

00:46:36.600 I know. I know. I know. We were just supposed to be, yeah. I used to hang out on the beach. I used to drink all the time on the beach. It was great. They had a place called the Sand Dollar, which I had to get a membership.

00:46:45.800 They had a place called the Silver Dollar Bar, which was over off on, across, that was kind of downtown, but across.

00:46:51.020 Oh, yeah. I got beat up outside the Silver Dollar one time, I think.

00:46:54.140 I almost did.

00:46:55.200 Yeah.

00:46:56.140 So.

00:46:56.860 Yeah, I think it was the Silver Dollar, yeah.

00:46:58.520 And Portside, they had a place over there called Portside Silver Dollar. Yeah, there it is, Silver Dollar.

00:47:03.840 Yeah.

00:47:04.340 But there's always people doing blow over there.

00:47:06.320 Yeah.

00:47:07.820 Thankfully.

00:47:09.220 Yeah.

00:47:10.300 Well, that's, yeah, a lot of that going on in Charleston.

00:47:12.800 Dude, I was there during 9-11. I went up there, actually, I was.

00:47:15.280 I hitchhiked up there to meet, there was a girl that I was in love with that moved away,

00:47:18.920 and she didn't want me to be around her, and she was right.

00:47:21.200 You know, it was getting.

00:47:23.060 You hitchhiked to see her, that's.

00:47:25.000 That's bad.

00:47:25.740 Yeah.

00:47:26.280 That's bad.

00:47:28.120 When you're willing to, this is before Uber, this is when.

00:47:31.180 Yeah.

00:47:31.620 How'd you get here?

00:47:32.240 I just rode with some strangers, anything it took.

00:47:36.120 And it was like, it was 12 hours down from Louisiana, but I got up there and, yeah, it wasn't good.

00:47:41.900 I remember I was on her porch one night.

00:47:45.660 And I was like, this has got to stop, you know.

00:47:47.840 Yeah.

00:47:48.080 And that's when I shut it down and got my act together.

00:47:50.120 Took some of the wood from the porch on the way out.

00:47:52.320 I sure did.

00:47:52.900 Like, I'm trying to rebuild something at home here.

00:47:55.180 What am I going to make a shrine to her out of?

00:47:57.620 Yeah.

00:47:57.940 Obviously, her porch wood is the best thing to make it out of.

00:48:02.100 But, yeah, thankfully, nobody caught me over there.

00:48:04.720 And I just remember I was on that porch pet and a cat that wasn't mine.

00:48:07.480 I don't know if it was hers.

00:48:08.860 And I was like, God, I am emotionally, I've got some emotional issues, you know.

00:48:15.980 Yeah.

00:48:16.320 And then 9-11 happened when I was there.

00:48:18.600 That was kind of wild.

00:48:19.740 But, yeah, I love Charleston, man.

00:48:21.180 Great place.

00:48:22.120 Yeah, it's awesome.

00:48:23.080 My friend said you gave a speech at his school in Louisiana.

00:48:26.660 Oh, really?

00:48:26.920 Metairie, I think, is where he grew up.

00:48:29.260 I forget the school.

00:48:30.200 He told me.

00:48:30.800 I believe you.

00:48:31.680 It's a boys' school.

00:48:32.440 I can't even remember.

00:48:32.880 Oh, it was a boys' school?

00:48:33.800 Yeah.

00:48:35.160 He said, yeah.

00:48:35.840 It was Rummel or something?

00:48:37.060 I think so.

00:48:37.740 Maybe so.

00:48:39.080 Oh, my God, dude.

00:48:40.840 That just came back to me.

00:48:42.700 Oh.

00:48:43.600 It might have been when I was just in student council, but maybe not.

00:48:46.080 I don't know. 0.97

00:48:47.040 Dude, I fucking forgot about that. 0.99

00:48:50.000 That's crazy. 0.99

00:48:50.920 It's weird how life will go on and you just remember things.

00:48:52.740 It could have happened.

00:48:53.040 Oh, yeah.

00:48:53.980 Yeah.

00:48:54.460 I mean, like, yeah, the brain is super weird.

00:48:57.540 Like, you can just, it feels like channels just open up and you go, oh, whoa, here's

00:49:01.780 a bunch of memories locked in here.

00:49:04.300 Do you think our brain, that all of our memories are available in our brain?

00:49:08.340 I think so.

00:49:09.620 But maybe our brain remembers them differently.

00:49:13.080 Because people will tell stories about me and I go, that's definitely not how it happened.

00:49:19.120 Yeah.

00:49:19.460 But am I remembering it wrong or are they remembering it wrong?

00:49:24.560 I got punched in the face by a female firefighter one time. 0.94

00:49:27.600 Yeah.

00:49:27.980 And this guy, my buddy, he tells the story all the time and he always tells what I said.

00:49:34.000 And I just know that I didn't say that.

00:49:36.920 But I was drunk enough to get punched in the face.

00:49:41.520 So maybe I don't remember.

00:49:43.260 Right.

00:49:43.580 And then at that point, if you know you were drunk enough, it's like, well, do I want to

00:49:47.040 disrespect this story by just trying to put maybe my current ego in it?

00:49:51.060 Even though I, but if I was drunk, I was out of control.

00:49:54.440 Could that have happened?

00:49:56.000 You know?

00:49:56.340 Yeah.

00:49:56.600 And then it's what I realized from growing up, a lot of my friends, I'll tell stories

00:50:00.240 from growing up.

00:50:00.760 My friends are like, dude, I don't even remember that. 0.94

00:50:02.620 I'm like, you don't fucking remember that?

00:50:04.360 I'm like, dude, that's like the only thing that happened. 0.95

00:50:06.620 Like that year, that was the only thing that happened.

00:50:09.120 You don't remember?

00:50:09.940 Oh, yeah.

00:50:10.480 I'm just amazed that some people don't remember things.

00:50:13.180 I think sometimes with us as comedians, like we're spending time thinking about stuff

00:50:17.560 to write jokes about it.

00:50:19.440 That we can recall all these things, but like people that aren't trying to think about

00:50:24.480 it, they're like, oh, I can't believe you remember that.

00:50:26.640 And I go, this is all I do is sit around and think about this stuff.

00:50:30.040 That's a good point.

00:50:30.660 And even if it's not me actively doing it, there's a part of my brain that I think is

00:50:35.760 obsessed with being young and growing up and like wants to have all of that as much

00:50:40.100 as I can.

00:50:40.900 Here it says right here.

00:50:42.300 Is this perplexity, man?

00:50:44.240 We started using this perplexity.

00:50:45.600 Have you heard of this?

00:50:46.200 No.

00:50:47.100 It's an AI.

00:50:49.880 The brain holds and organizes all the memories we are able to form and retain, but it is

00:50:54.760 not a flawless or complete archive of everything we've ever experienced.

00:50:58.260 Memories can be changed, lost, or difficult to recall.

00:51:00.820 Not everything is stored perfectly or forever.

00:51:03.860 That's interesting.

00:51:05.120 I know.

00:51:05.420 I wonder if I should get someone to come on sometime who knows really the deepness of

00:51:09.140 this.

00:51:09.560 Yeah.

00:51:09.660 And how could you open it up?

00:51:11.360 They used to say acid would open different parts to your brain.

00:51:14.740 Yeah.

00:51:15.040 That's what they always said.

00:51:15.960 That's why we like to take it.

00:51:17.580 We would, because we didn't think we were partying.

00:51:20.540 No.

00:51:20.880 We were like, we're doing an experiment.

00:51:23.180 Yeah.

00:51:23.460 We're hiding in an above ground pool for four hours laughing at we don't know what, but

00:51:30.020 this is all under the guise of science.

00:51:33.440 Yeah.

00:51:33.740 This is, we're, we're, we're opening it.

00:51:35.280 We're expanding our minds here.

00:51:37.320 We want to, I want to listen to this Pink Floyd album and understand what he means.

00:51:44.040 Oh, dude.

00:51:44.980 I remember my friend, we did some LSD or something mushrooms.

00:51:49.640 I don't remember and he had a flashback of an Asian kid that had allegedly lived in our town

00:51:57.200 or something.

00:51:57.580 And he got so scared.

00:51:58.820 And then he went and he locked himself in a closet for like five or six hours and we're 1.00

00:52:03.880 like, fuck dude. 1.00

00:52:05.080 That's on acid. 1.00

00:52:06.060 Oh yeah.

00:52:06.540 Oh yeah.

00:52:07.640 And he, he had anxiety ever since then.

00:52:10.280 Every, that, that was a lot for him.

00:52:12.500 I don't understand how locking yourself in a closet would make yourself feel better.

00:52:17.380 Yeah.

00:52:17.740 He needed some better, a better, but I don't know.

00:52:20.280 What do you do?

00:52:21.000 You know?

00:52:21.620 Yeah.

00:52:22.120 I, I, and if I knocked on the door, he got very racial and very like, I don't want to 1.00

00:52:27.500 say anti-Asian or whatever. 0.97

00:52:28.600 He just was going through a lot and I was like, I'm not going to fucking bother him. 0.97

00:52:31.260 What am I going to do? 0.92

00:52:32.000 We're having a good time.

00:52:33.220 Yeah.

00:52:33.500 What am I going to do? 0.99

00:52:34.140 And get a fucking one of those like straw hats and like a fish basket and fucking just 1.00

00:52:38.440 go in there and rattle his cage. 1.00

00:52:41.360 Hell no. 0.97

00:52:42.600 I'm going to support my buddy.

00:52:44.140 And that night we're at my buddy, we're at another dude's house.

00:52:47.580 And I was like, I'm getting out of here.

00:52:48.940 And he's like, you shouldn't leave. 0.98

00:52:49.820 Do you fucking took all your clothes off in the backyard? 1.00

00:52:52.100 And I was like, yeah, well fuck you guys. 1.00

00:52:53.960 I'm not being caged up by this fucking white hate or whatever. 1.00

00:52:56.900 You know, I just, I'd get out there. 0.99

00:52:58.700 I go get in my car as a 1984 Ford Escort.

00:53:01.580 And thankfully I accidentally got in the back, right?

00:53:05.600 I kind of stumbled trying to get out of the door, push the seat, went forward, honked the

00:53:09.500 horn, the front horn.

00:53:10.880 Cause I was in the back seat and the seat moved forward and honked the front horn.

00:53:16.420 And his mom came out and thankfully shut it down. 0.99

00:53:20.000 Cause I could have fucking driven off. 0.99

00:53:22.260 Yeah. 0.98

00:53:22.480 You know, it's scary, man.

00:53:24.980 Drugs and driver's licenses.

00:53:26.320 I've driven on acid many times.

00:53:28.100 And it's, uh, yeah.

00:53:29.160 And it's, uh, it's a blast.

00:53:30.780 I mean, it is a, uh, it's a disaster.

00:53:33.040 It shouldn't happen, but it was, that's another thing.

00:53:36.080 Small towns, you know, you're out late enough.

00:53:38.080 Nobody else is out there.

00:53:39.320 No.

00:53:39.760 What's the danger really?

00:53:40.980 You know?

00:53:41.540 Oh yeah.

00:53:42.060 The birds are gone.

00:53:43.060 The dogs even shut down.

00:53:44.520 Everybody.

00:53:45.240 Yeah.

00:53:45.420 We would drive around.

00:53:46.180 Me and my buddy, we drove around.

00:53:47.280 We were like, so out of our minds.

00:53:48.680 I was like biting the steering wheel while I was driving.

00:53:51.380 Like, Oh dude, I remember one time we drove past, we just taken this LSD and we drove past,

00:54:00.760 uh, a cop and he stopped us, dude. 0.98

00:54:05.040 And he's like, what the fuck y'all doing? 0.98

00:54:07.180 Blah, blah, blah. 0.99

00:54:07.800 And we caused trouble in town or before.

00:54:09.360 And he's just like, uh, I don't know what his reason was, but he's like, I don't want,

00:54:14.340 I don't want to see you.

00:54:14.960 I don't want to see you guys out again tonight.

00:54:16.620 And we're like, yes, sir.

00:54:17.660 No problem.

00:54:18.440 Not a problem.

00:54:19.140 No, definitely not.

00:54:20.380 Yes, sir.

00:54:21.000 No, sir.

00:54:21.600 Right.

00:54:21.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:22.140 Fucking we covered every base. 0.99

00:54:25.740 Dude. 0.99

00:54:26.360 Fast forward five hours later, we are just gleaming on this LSD. 0.99

00:54:32.080 We are fucking, you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:54:34.440 Like I'm like kind of fucking being like, Oh, just saying shit like, Oh, I think there's 1.00

00:54:38.900 way too many teeth in my mouth. 0.99

00:54:40.600 Right.

00:54:40.920 Like we're not doing good.

00:54:42.980 And we realized we are coming up on the same street, exactly where that cop is parked and 0.98

00:54:47.380 he's fucking parked there again. 1.00

00:54:49.120 And we're like, motherfucker. 1.00

00:54:51.500 We promised this dude. 1.00

00:54:53.860 We would not. 1.00

00:54:54.820 And we're fucked up. 1.00

00:54:56.000 We are. 0.99

00:54:56.420 This is not going to do this.

00:54:58.120 Not going to end well.

00:55:00.320 And we thought if we go, this is our idea.

00:55:04.140 If we go as slow as possible, he won't see us.

00:55:11.000 He's sneaking by.

00:55:12.500 Yes.

00:55:12.560 Yes.

00:55:13.360 Yeah.

00:55:13.960 Dude.

00:55:14.380 Yes.

00:55:14.580 If we go fast, that's how they catch everybody.

00:55:16.340 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:17.200 We go as slow as fucking possible, dude. 0.99

00:55:20.620 All looking. 1.00

00:55:25.540 Probably caught us so fast, dude.

00:55:28.220 Put us all in for the night.

00:55:29.840 You're like, Hey, we're, we're trying to get home.

00:55:32.340 Yeah.

00:55:32.640 You told us to get home.

00:55:33.640 We're just looking for it, man.

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00:58:20.740 Did you ever run any issues with the pesticide?

00:58:23.460 You run any good tales from the...

00:58:26.140 Well, you know, I did that for like nine years, and I'm just like, I got one joke out of it.

00:58:31.020 And, you know, I used to, you know, there was four companies.

00:58:33.900 We sold to Lowe's and Home Depot, and there was four companies.

00:58:37.080 I dated a girl that was on the competition for a while.

00:58:41.880 I'm pretty sure she had a boyfriend, and she was dating me at work.

00:58:46.800 Yeah, I love that.

00:58:47.780 So we would just, you know, like you had to go to the store, and you'd have to call in to the office from the store phone.

00:58:55.720 And then so I would go in, and I would call us both in, and then we would go drink for a while.

00:59:02.140 And then we would go back to the store, and she would call us both out.

00:59:06.760 That way the store didn't see us coming and going.

00:59:09.180 So we had, I mean, we had a wild summer.

00:59:13.300 I had not all the same territory that she had, so some days I had to work.

00:59:17.900 But on those days, I was great.

00:59:20.620 I mean, we would just party, me and her, and she was like, she was real hot.

00:59:24.480 And it was like, even the other pesticide reps were like, she's dating you?

00:59:29.080 Yeah.

00:59:29.440 And I'm like, I guess so, guys.

00:59:31.500 I guess things are turning around.

00:59:34.220 You just take a hit off that side, baby.

00:59:37.220 Off that P side. 0.93

00:59:39.520 That's all right.

00:59:40.420 You know, and it felt good.

00:59:42.600 And, you know, I should have been fired.

00:59:44.420 I had, but, you know, I was, my sales numbers were good.

00:59:47.420 I looked good.

00:59:48.960 I mean, sometimes it's just, who do we want pulling up to the door to sell pesticide?

00:59:52.840 Who are people going to believe when they open the door and they see?

00:59:57.580 Well, I'm just selling to the stores, right?

00:59:59.820 So I don't have to go door to door.

01:00:02.060 But I looked all right.

01:00:03.420 You know, I probably was a little heavy.

01:00:05.080 I've been drinking a lot.

01:00:06.200 I was probably, I was drinking all the time.

01:00:08.780 So, you know, a lot of times I'd pull up to the store, clock in, go sit in the car, smoke

01:00:13.240 cigarettes, go to sleep, you know, that sort of stuff.

01:00:15.920 Yeah, work.

01:00:16.340 Right, right.

01:00:17.580 Yeah, because it's like.

01:00:18.760 Yeah, dude, look.

01:00:19.540 Don't act like I haven't had a job.

01:00:20.700 Yeah, and my boss was like, you got to be there at a certain time.

01:00:24.180 And I was like, it doesn't matter because the stores have no idea if this is my first

01:00:29.060 store of the day or my second store.

01:00:30.720 He's like, no, you got to be there.

01:00:31.820 And I'm like, well, if I got to be there, this is how I'll handle it.

01:00:34.580 Yeah.

01:00:34.740 I'll clock in and then I'll go, you know, eat a bagel in the car and smoke cigarettes or dip.

01:00:41.440 Oh, yeah.

01:00:42.280 I mean, you got to find ways to kill time.

01:00:46.280 Yeah.

01:00:46.620 I mean, I'm the king of killing time.

01:00:48.460 Oh, that's got to be your next special, dude.

01:00:50.520 Yeah, I mean, I can sit in a car all day.

01:00:54.360 It doesn't make any difference to me.

01:00:56.440 You give me the radio, some nicotine, I'm there all day.

01:00:59.280 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:00:59.700 God, I love that shit, dude. 1.00

01:01:01.420 I used to love fucking sitting in a car. 1.00

01:01:03.480 I remember I'd fucking sit in there. 0.99

01:01:05.500 Like a lot of times my dad would go do something. 0.97

01:01:07.660 I don't know what he was doing, but because he didn't have a job or anything, but he would

01:01:10.420 leave me in the car.

01:01:11.180 And I would put, try to put all the seatbelts on. 0.98

01:01:14.900 I'd like try to sit in the middle and put all fucking five seatbelts on, dude. 0.96

01:01:18.940 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:01:19.720 Just do cool shit like that. 0.98

01:01:21.640 Yeah. 0.88

01:01:21.860 Nothing like being left in the car as a kid back then.

01:01:24.560 Oh.

01:01:25.100 With no, yeah.

01:01:26.020 I mean, there was no.

01:01:26.960 The cigarette lighter thing?

01:01:28.320 Yeah.

01:01:29.260 I had a cigarette, I had a Bronco.

01:01:31.120 The cigarette lighter would, like, if you didn't have your hand up there, it's so spring

01:01:34.940 loaded, it would pop out onto the floor.

01:01:37.160 Oh, yeah.

01:01:38.020 Yeah.

01:01:38.340 I mean, there was some power to it. 1.00

01:01:40.080 Oh, you don't wear sandals around this motherfucker. 1.00

01:01:42.340 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:01:42.840 No, no.

01:01:43.560 Yeah.

01:01:44.120 I loved it.

01:01:44.720 Yeah.

01:01:44.920 You could, I love that.

01:01:45.840 The way the cigarettes were built, you know, you smoke the cigarette and they just hold

01:01:48.980 that thing right up there to it.

01:01:50.520 That thing felt real.

01:01:51.600 Yeah.

01:01:52.040 I had an ashtray in there with ashes in it.

01:01:54.440 I mean, it wasn't coins in there.

01:01:55.980 I was using that.

01:01:56.720 Oh, that was so nice, dude.

01:01:57.880 When that cigarette, because when you were a kid, if your grandparents or your parents

01:02:00.500 left you in the car, you could push the cigarette lighter in and you knew it was going

01:02:03.840 to get hot.

01:02:04.280 You were not allowed around hot stuff.

01:02:06.140 Yeah.

01:02:06.320 You weren't allowed to have hot stuff, but that thing, you figured out how to work it 0.90

01:02:09.940 and then you take it out and you're like, I wonder if it's hot.

01:02:12.920 And it would be, it was the hottest thing they had.

01:02:17.060 And then you're lighting paper on fire.

01:02:18.740 You're putting paper in, but your grandma's like, where's all the receipts?

01:02:21.780 Yeah.

01:02:22.500 And where's my bookkeeping?

01:02:26.720 Where's my missing posters for your stepfather?

01:02:31.460 I don't know.

01:02:33.360 God, that was fun, dude.

01:02:34.980 My buddy's dad, my friend, Bubby Jenkins, his dad would, I'd miss the bus or just say, 1.00

01:02:42.500 fuck it or whatever. 0.99

01:02:43.100 Cause I didn't really love the government or whatever. 1.00

01:02:44.640 But, um, his dad would give me a ride to school and his dad would do my spelling words and 0.99

01:02:49.280 blow cigarette smoke in my face to fucking make it harder for me to fucking memorize 0.99

01:02:52.740 them, to challenge me. 0.99

01:02:55.680 Dude, he'd rip two or three darts on the way there.

01:02:58.400 You got to love that kind of help.

01:02:59.880 You're like, I really, I really appreciate that, you know, because then you're good under

01:03:03.080 pressure.

01:03:03.660 Yeah.

01:03:04.020 Like I learned to drive a stick shift with my dad yelling at me.

01:03:07.580 Yeah.

01:03:07.980 Like yelling at me about not knowing how to work a clutch that I've just tried for the first

01:03:13.440 time today.

01:03:14.420 Yeah.

01:03:15.160 And so you're like, now I'm good.

01:03:17.300 I can drive a stick shift for the rest of my life.

01:03:20.420 Oh yeah.

01:03:21.220 Especially when the, your sexuality is under a threat when it came to anything back then. 1.00

01:03:25.200 It was like, you don't know how to do this shit. 1.00

01:03:28.220 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:28.580 It's like, this is my first time.

01:03:30.700 And he's like yelling at me and we're on a back road.

01:03:33.460 There's not traffic behind us.

01:03:36.380 Oh, everything was a Vietnam at back then at times, man. 1.00

01:03:40.560 It was, and also the pressure just growing up, everything felt intense, you know,

01:03:44.380 learning things and want to get them right and be cool and know the cool stuff.

01:03:49.640 Yeah.

01:03:50.000 I mean, my dad is, uh, knows how to do a lot of things, but it's not a teacher.

01:03:54.400 Right.

01:03:54.720 So like, you like think you're doing it right.

01:03:57.520 And you're like, there's a lot of pressure to be doing it right, but it's never right.

01:04:02.220 Yeah.

01:04:02.620 He's going to tell you how to do it.

01:04:04.400 Even if he told you how to do it and you did it that way, he's going to be like, nah, like

01:04:10.000 this.

01:04:10.540 Yeah.

01:04:10.920 I'm like, no, this is the way you told me though.

01:04:12.860 Yeah.

01:04:13.180 But do it like this.

01:04:14.200 Yeah.

01:04:14.620 We're not doing it like that. 1.00

01:04:15.900 I don't know where you learned that shit. 1.00

01:04:17.400 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:17.640 We don't do it like that anymore.

01:04:18.820 I'll tell you that.

01:04:20.740 Oh yeah, dude.

01:04:23.260 Yeah.

01:04:23.580 I mean, I would tell you a story about my dad teaching me something, but he didn't 0.99

01:04:26.180 teach me shit, dude. 0.97

01:04:27.600 And then, but he would, once I was tall enough, would expect me to be able to drive in places. 1.00

01:04:31.880 Right.

01:04:33.040 Because yeah, I mean, my dad was just so old.

01:04:34.720 And one day he's like, I think you can do it.

01:04:36.560 And I was like, what?

01:04:37.420 And he's like, I think you can drive me to Slidell.

01:04:39.620 And I was like, I don't know, you know?

01:04:43.100 And, um, how far would that be for you?

01:04:46.080 Probably 17 miles.

01:04:47.100 Right.

01:04:47.360 Okay.

01:04:48.060 I was like, I could, I don't know, but you want to do it.

01:04:52.040 Yeah.

01:04:52.280 You know, you want to support your dad or whatever.

01:04:54.220 And, uh, and I did it, man. 0.97

01:04:56.440 I, he, we fucking got out there on the interstate. 0.96

01:05:00.060 He gave me some guidance. 0.97

01:05:00.820 And why would he need you to drive?

01:05:02.320 He was so old.

01:05:03.280 He couldn't see that good.

01:05:04.400 Okay.

01:05:05.020 But we had to get there.

01:05:05.980 And so it was like, you know, what are you going to do?

01:05:10.060 Yeah.

01:05:10.440 Cause he used to do those credit card signups at colleges.

01:05:12.800 He'd get people to sign up for credit cards and he'd get me out there on the table to call

01:05:16.780 them over and whatever, you know, and, you know, make promises to him or something.

01:05:20.220 Um, and, uh, so we drive over to like Southeastern Louisiana university or Delgado or some school 0.89

01:05:28.120 somewhere and we pull all this shit out and he's given out free candies or whatever whistles 0.85

01:05:33.300 or something, you know, or it'd be like a whistle that yells a slur or something. 0.99

01:05:37.000 If you hit that right octave on it or Frisbees, you know, shit like that. 0.91

01:05:41.560 So he got, he got money for the, for signing people up for credit cards. 0.97

01:05:45.140 If people signed up, I think he got like, like a dollar 50, but I think it had to be approved

01:05:49.240 and shit, but I'd sit there and fill a couple extra out while I was there.

01:05:53.580 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:54.700 We're killing time.

01:05:55.900 He had no idea what's going on. 0.99

01:05:57.340 He'd be fucking asleep, awake. 1.00

01:05:58.960 Fucking he'd go to get a sandwich, fucking ball of sleep over there. 1.00

01:06:02.180 It was just like, it was fucking, it was like a huge game of hide and go seek. 1.00

01:06:06.240 And that's why you'd need to get to slide out. 0.99

01:06:09.740 So you're driving, you're working it.

01:06:12.140 This is learning things.

01:06:13.240 He may not be teaching it, but you're learning things.

01:06:15.740 Yeah.

01:06:15.880 That was it, man.

01:06:16.660 You're learning to hustle.

01:06:18.060 Yeah.

01:06:18.440 It was a hustle, dude.

01:06:19.340 It was fun though.

01:06:22.200 Yeah.

01:06:22.560 Any other blue collar kind of jobs that you had?

01:06:24.460 Well, I, you know, I, I, I did restaurants mostly.

01:06:27.300 I worked at a restaurant called Hyman's in Charleston.

01:06:29.520 I don't know if you ever went there.

01:06:30.600 It would have been around.

01:06:31.700 It was nice.

01:06:32.360 It was nice.

01:06:33.100 It's a tourist spot, but it's good food.

01:06:36.080 Bring it up.

01:06:37.320 I mean, it's.

01:06:38.080 I think I went there not long ago.

01:06:39.540 It's a hot spot.

01:06:40.460 They have, um, the, um, they have a lot of pictures on the wall of famous people that

01:06:47.020 have been there over the years.

01:06:48.060 And I finally have my picture on the wall.

01:06:51.060 I'm finally on the wall.

01:06:52.100 I was like, that's what I'm talking about.

01:06:53.580 Let's go.

01:06:54.680 Hyman's baby.

01:06:55.740 Yeah.

01:06:56.200 And, uh, Hyman's is great.

01:06:57.760 There were so many employees at Hyman's that I run into people still all over the country

01:07:02.980 that I used to work with.

01:07:04.820 Why was there so many?

01:07:05.820 It just is a, it took up, it took up three addresses, uh, on the street.

01:07:11.240 And then it was a second floor, uh, you know, first floor and second floor restaurant.

01:07:15.520 It's beautiful.

01:07:16.480 Uh, yeah, actually it took up, it was like from two 13 to two 21, that many addresses on

01:07:24.020 the block.

01:07:24.780 It was great.

01:07:25.680 We should go to do a show there sometime, man.

01:07:28.000 We should.

01:07:28.640 I mean, Charleston is, is the best.

01:07:31.020 That would be cool.

01:07:31.660 I started this, uh, the tour my now started in Charleston.

01:07:34.180 And so.

01:07:35.320 What did you do?

01:07:36.560 I don't even remember.

01:07:37.860 It's probably North Charleston performing arts center on campus.

01:07:40.640 Oh, uh, the gill yard.

01:07:43.100 Maybe.

01:07:44.140 Yeah.

01:07:45.160 Very nice.

01:07:46.100 Yes.

01:07:46.320 Very nice.

01:07:46.800 Yeah.

01:07:46.820 I just did the gill yard too.

01:07:48.100 Very nice.

01:07:48.960 I watched the gill yard be built.

01:07:50.860 So I was like very happy to do that.

01:07:54.180 I mean, because a lot of people that I, that's where I started comedy.

01:07:57.040 So a lot of people I started comedy with and people that knew me around that time all

01:08:01.240 got to come there and see me.

01:08:02.580 Dude, that's pretty exceptional.

01:08:03.540 It was a big deal.

01:08:04.580 Yeah.

01:08:04.900 Yeah.

01:08:05.180 Cause being a comedian, you're not, everybody thinks you're just hiding from your parents

01:08:09.000 or whatever until you get something people can see.

01:08:13.100 Yeah.

01:08:13.600 It's a weird thing to tell people you're doing.

01:08:15.240 I feel like, did you feel like that?

01:08:16.920 Yeah.

01:08:17.180 I mean, even doing TV, uh, it can still be like, you could still be, uh, not necessarily

01:08:24.240 seen like you're doing great until they see you in a big venue and they go, Oh, look at

01:08:29.320 all these people that bought tickets to see you.

01:08:31.780 Yeah.

01:08:32.380 It like means more than you're on a show.

01:08:35.000 They have to see something.

01:08:36.040 They'd be like, well, what do you, you know?

01:08:37.620 Yeah.

01:08:37.960 I just did Hollywood squares.

01:08:39.440 I think a lot of older people in my life feel like I made it when they saw me on Hollywood

01:08:43.680 squares.

01:08:44.380 Oh, definitely.

01:08:45.200 Yeah.

01:08:45.700 Yeah.

01:08:45.900 There's everybody has their own idea of kind of what making it is, you know?

01:08:49.700 And it could be anything and it could be from any, you know, it could be some people

01:08:52.980 thinking it's Charlemagne, the God show.

01:08:54.900 It could be some people.

01:08:56.140 Oh, there you are right there, dude.

01:08:58.200 Yeah.

01:08:58.900 Justin Long and Drew Barrymore were on there.

01:09:00.940 Yeah.

01:09:01.140 I did another episode with them and I was where Jeff Dunham's at.

01:09:04.740 So I was right next to Drew Barrymore.

01:09:06.660 Wow.

01:09:07.220 And she was up in my square.

01:09:08.700 So it was very fun.

01:09:09.840 She was, you know, I was like, yeah, it felt good.

01:09:12.680 She's cute. 0.95

01:09:13.280 What's some great folks in there.

01:09:15.000 Yeah.

01:09:15.620 Dude, that's exciting.

01:09:16.440 That's like a huge show from growing up.

01:09:18.860 Ron Funches is on there.

01:09:20.240 Oh, who's the host?

01:09:21.620 Drew Barrymore.

01:09:22.460 Oh, the host is Nate Burleson.

01:09:24.740 Nate Burleson.

01:09:25.400 He's awesome, dude.

01:09:26.480 Yeah, he was great.

01:09:27.380 Nate's a great dude.

01:09:28.100 Very nice.

01:09:28.980 Very funny.

01:09:29.860 Yeah.

01:09:30.280 Yeah.

01:09:30.940 Super talented, man.

01:09:31.960 I mean, what a neat guy.

01:09:33.160 That guy's going to be able to have two careers.

01:09:34.380 Great football player and does a great job hosting.

01:09:38.980 Yeah.

01:09:39.420 I mean, I don't know how long this goes, but he's really great.

01:09:42.700 Yeah.

01:09:43.020 Yeah.

01:09:43.400 He does a couple of different things.

01:09:44.560 He does some different stuff.

01:09:47.340 You know, I'm trying to think of any other blue collar jobs.

01:09:49.240 Well, you know, I was a pizza delivery guy for a long time.

01:09:54.280 I worked at Papa John's.

01:09:55.580 I mean, that feels blue collar.

01:09:56.920 I mean, it feels like, like stoner blue collar.

01:10:00.380 That's what I did out of high school.

01:10:01.820 I did deliver pizzas and it was great.

01:10:04.080 I used to, you know, I was getting high a lot.

01:10:05.520 So it was like, you know, you're riding around your own hometown.

01:10:09.240 You know where everything's at.

01:10:10.580 There was no GPS back then.

01:10:11.980 So you know where everything's at.

01:10:13.800 He's just getting high, listening to the radio.

01:10:16.360 It's a perfect job.

01:10:17.300 You ever whip a slice out of somebody's order or anything?

01:10:19.680 No, no.

01:10:20.260 I was, I was very anti that, but I would.

01:10:23.120 And I respect that.

01:10:24.080 I want to say that.

01:10:24.720 Yeah.

01:10:24.860 I never mess with people's food.

01:10:26.260 I can't do it.

01:10:27.120 Yeah.

01:10:27.240 Me either.

01:10:27.600 I've never done anything like that, you know, but I had, I used to pick up my friends at

01:10:31.540 the gas station.

01:10:32.260 They would, they would meet me at the gas station.

01:10:34.360 I'd pick them up and we'd all smoke weed together while I delivered pizzas. 0.99

01:10:37.520 That's fucking cool. 0.94

01:10:38.340 I don't think they had anything going on, but I also think it was cool for them to just ride 0.98

01:10:42.100 around while I was working.

01:10:43.320 Yeah.

01:10:43.640 So I'd pull up to people's houses with four or five dudes in the car, you know, had a

01:10:47.700 guy one time meet us outside and we were still smoking, you know, and it's like a little

01:10:52.780 awkward.

01:10:53.460 You get, you start to get extra polite.

01:10:55.520 You're like, how are you today, sir?

01:10:59.020 Thanks for choosing Papa John's. 1.00

01:11:04.160 There's nothing better than that shit, dude. 1.00

01:11:06.300 The awkwardness, dude, I used to get fucking high and fall asleep all the time. 1.00

01:11:10.660 My friends didn't want me to go out with them because they're like, dude, you 0.92

01:11:13.600 just hit all you hit like, and I would, I would hit a lot of the weed and then I would

01:11:17.760 literally fall asleep for the next four hours and they just picked me up and they'd still

01:11:21.660 have to drop me off at the end of the night.

01:11:22.880 I would just lay in the back of the car or whatever. 1.00

01:11:24.740 And I think I was just growing at the time, whatever, your body's just dealing with shit 0.99

01:11:27.940 or whatever. 0.98

01:11:28.880 And, uh, one night we got so high and they just started a taco bell in our town.

01:11:33.400 Right.

01:11:33.640 And this was like the grand opening.

01:11:34.920 So people had come, people came from 30 miles.

01:11:37.820 One guy drove, rode a horse there.

01:11:39.340 People were coming however they could.

01:11:40.760 Um, some people didn't even get out of their cars.

01:11:43.640 They just drove by.

01:11:44.480 They honked.

01:11:45.960 Um, you know, people would drop off their spouses, just do whatever.

01:11:49.600 They didn't even know what was going on.

01:11:50.660 That's a big day.

01:11:51.880 And I got out of my buddy's van and they'd all been inside.

01:11:58.260 I'd, I'd fall asleep. 0.98

01:11:59.100 I wake up, I open the door and my fucking, uh, folks are right there. 0.97

01:12:04.160 They had just pulled up and I'm so high and I'd never seen them when I was high before. 0.98

01:12:09.540 Oh yeah.

01:12:10.420 And I'm just trying to just pretend like I'm not high, you know, like great seeing you

01:12:14.700 guys tonight, huh? 1.00

01:12:16.000 And they're like, oh fuck. 1.00

01:12:17.520 That was not it. 1.00

01:12:18.860 That was not it, dude.

01:12:21.400 You're like, am I talking enough?

01:12:23.040 Am I talking too much?

01:12:24.760 Do I look at, do I normally look this happy?

01:12:27.040 Yeah.

01:12:29.700 Good seeing you guys here tonight, huh?

01:12:32.160 This is so bad.

01:12:33.060 Big deal, Taco Bell.

01:12:35.240 Big deal.

01:12:35.720 And then somebody did, um, I've told this before, somebody defecated in the meat and

01:12:39.780 they had to shut it down and that was a true thing that happened.

01:12:42.200 That was horrible.

01:12:43.300 I bet that's happening all the time.

01:12:45.160 Not just Taco Bell.

01:12:46.320 I don't know.

01:12:47.020 It happened in our town and I'm not saying in Taco Bell, I'm not, nothing against you

01:12:50.260 guys.

01:12:50.580 I don't go there, but, uh.

01:12:52.200 Yeah.

01:12:52.520 I'm not even trashing Taco Bell, but I'm like, you know, I don't trust people working.

01:12:56.900 It happens.

01:12:57.280 These days.

01:12:57.720 Yeah.

01:12:57.840 Yeah.

01:12:58.900 Um, you ever go to a restaurant and see the people working there and go, no, I don't think

01:13:02.940 so.

01:13:04.000 Oh yeah.

01:13:04.560 I've walked in and be like, let me get a good look at it.

01:13:06.560 Is there anybody in here who's not?

01:13:08.740 Nobody.

01:13:09.360 Does anybody look like they care in here?

01:13:11.000 Yeah.

01:13:11.300 I don't think so.

01:13:12.220 I'm going to head on out.

01:13:13.520 Yeah.

01:13:13.920 Just somebody is just making, and there's even like a guy who's like, he's just doing

01:13:17.240 TikToks of him peeing in people's food or whatever.

01:13:19.380 And you're like, well, that's not, that's insane.

01:13:24.040 Yeah.

01:13:24.240 Yeah.

01:13:24.820 Yeah.

01:13:25.200 There was like a, there was a, you know, it was a bit of a Taco Bell thing going on

01:13:28.840 for a while where people were.

01:13:30.060 Tell me.

01:13:30.520 It wasn't Taco Bell, but they were working there and these people would take the hard

01:13:35.580 shells and they would just lick, they would go down and lick all the hard shells in the

01:13:40.040 stack.

01:13:41.220 And there was, that was TikToks for them.

01:13:43.300 That's great.

01:13:43.860 And then there was a thing where people are going around opening ice cream and grocery

01:13:47.100 stores and licking it and then putting the lid back on.

01:13:49.920 And that was, I think I don't have a black community thing too.

01:13:52.500 It's just like, but if you're not putting the plastic over your ice cream, I'm not buying

01:13:57.080 it.

01:13:57.300 Yeah.

01:13:57.500 Here we go.

01:13:58.060 Look at this guy.

01:13:58.820 That's the white version of right there. 0.54

01:14:00.660 But hold on.

01:14:02.160 You knew he was doing that for you. 1.00

01:14:03.860 Even fucking. 1.00

01:14:05.040 And that dude should be cross-eyed. 0.99

01:14:06.840 That, the thing is these days, that guy, both of his eyes are functioning well.

01:14:11.060 We don't know if the other one looks good though.

01:14:12.620 That's a good point.

01:14:13.220 That's a good point.

01:14:13.760 The other, he may be looking straight ahead on the other one.

01:14:16.460 That's why this one's so far over.

01:14:18.240 Dude, we had a cross-eyed dude and he'd always try to like do his hair different.

01:14:21.660 And he's like, how did, he's like, dude, just fucking do you, like no judgment. 0.92

01:14:27.400 We love you. 1.00

01:14:28.460 We fucking love you, dog. 1.00

01:14:29.600 But you could have the fucking mohawk and people are still going to be like, damn, that 1.00

01:14:34.140 cross-eyed guy is doing what, you know? 1.00

01:14:36.160 Yeah.

01:14:36.500 Yeah.

01:14:37.140 Yeah.

01:14:37.320 You see the mohawk on the cross-eyed guy? 0.97

01:14:39.580 Yeah.

01:14:40.320 It's like, yeah.

01:14:41.480 It's like, God, he must not be doing well.

01:14:44.120 It's like, you need a very organized cut, you know?

01:14:47.680 Yeah.

01:14:48.200 Yeah.

01:14:48.560 You want to be everywhere else.

01:14:50.080 You want to be as presentable as possible.

01:14:51.780 Yeah.

01:14:51.980 You need a cut that tithes, right?

01:14:54.100 Your haircut needs to look like it gives 10% a month to the Lord, brother.

01:14:58.380 Yeah.

01:14:58.740 You want to look like, you want to look like something just happened to you.

01:15:01.800 Yes.

01:15:02.260 Like, oh.

01:15:03.480 Yeah.

01:15:03.860 It was just, I fell out of a business meeting.

01:15:08.440 I lost a wheel on the rolling chair.

01:15:10.900 Yeah.

01:15:11.120 It just fell out of a business meeting.

01:15:12.360 It hit my head really hard.

01:15:13.600 Fell out of my limousine on the way here.

01:15:17.120 This is horrible to say, but if I were cross-eyed, I would just always pretend like it had just 0.71

01:15:21.200 happened, like something just happened.

01:15:22.560 Oh, yeah.

01:15:23.020 Like, look at this eye, guys. 1.00

01:15:24.940 Fuck. 1.00

01:15:25.540 Just sneezed really hard. 1.00

01:15:27.340 Do I look okay?

01:15:28.220 That's what I would do.

01:15:29.460 Yeah.

01:15:29.700 Yeah, you know, it's like if you got a zit or something, you go, oh, yeah, look at this

01:15:33.280 thing.

01:15:33.640 You know, you would always, I would always point it out.

01:15:35.740 Like, God, my stepdad is patting me on the back real hard.

01:15:37.980 Do I look all right or something like that?

01:15:39.560 Or man, I just got bit by a dog.

01:15:40.740 How do I look? 1.00

01:15:41.720 And people are like, God, you fucking, you know? 0.99

01:15:44.340 Yeah, you'd have to do something like that. 0.99

01:15:46.080 Sudden cross-eyed.

01:15:47.020 This is, what can cause sudden crossed eyes?

01:15:50.140 That's a good question.

01:15:51.020 Sudden crossed eyes or strabismus in adults or older children can be caused by serious neurological

01:15:56.440 conditions and should be evaluated promptly by a healthcare provider.

01:15:59.700 The most common causes include stroke, brain tumor, head injury, thyroid eye disease.

01:16:05.820 Interesting.

01:16:06.620 I think I'd go with this.

01:16:07.920 Cranial nerve palsies.

01:16:09.780 That's what I'm rocking.

01:16:10.320 That's what I tell people.

01:16:11.240 Yeah.

01:16:11.700 Yeah, it's my cranial nerve. 0.99

01:16:13.520 Yeah, I hit a fucking speed bump and my fucking cranial nerves all acted up. 0.99

01:16:18.740 You know, that's what I would say. 1.00

01:16:19.820 Or you could always tell the old lie.

01:16:21.740 Two of your friends both threw Frisbees to each other at the same time.

01:16:24.620 Oh, yeah.

01:16:25.680 Yeah.

01:16:26.020 Or the uncorrected vision issues.

01:16:28.220 Just go with that one.

01:16:29.340 Yeah, just needed glasses and I just wouldn't get them.

01:16:33.400 Yeah.

01:16:33.560 Wouldn't get them.

01:16:34.640 Yeah. 0.99

01:16:34.860 My dad ain't no pussy as he says it. 0.99

01:16:37.300 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:16:38.840 Yeah, I didn't need to read those books.

01:16:40.580 Yeah.

01:16:41.780 Yeah.

01:16:42.240 It's kind of weird because I would have to get two of the same book and just hold them

01:16:45.600 each right here.

01:16:46.260 Which is very expensive.

01:16:49.340 It's like two monitors on a computer.

01:16:52.880 Oh, man. 0.97

01:16:53.560 That's ridiculous, dude. 0.98

01:16:56.340 How do you feel? 0.97

01:16:58.480 At this point, you have to start to really feel like you've made it in comedy, right?

01:17:02.820 Yeah, I feel good.

01:17:03.800 I mean, honestly, I feel like I never thought I would make it this far.

01:17:06.920 I mean, I was just messing around with comedy.

01:17:09.280 I hear you all the time now.

01:17:10.960 Oh, good.

01:17:12.140 Yeah, I mean, I was just, you know, I was drinking and I was like, yeah, we'll do comedy

01:17:15.560 and it was a good way to meet women and I was like, this is something to do on Friday

01:17:19.380 and then I won a contest in Charleston and I was like, oh, maybe I can do something with

01:17:24.000 this and then I just started, you know, figuring out how to work the road and I started, you

01:17:29.420 know, traveling around and doing road gigs and then, you know, I did some festivals and

01:17:34.240 got on late night and I was like, oh, this is working out and it just feels good.

01:17:39.300 Yeah, I mean, this is because I don't, this is what I want to do, you know, I don't, I'm

01:17:43.440 not trying to do other things.

01:17:45.260 This is what I like doing.

01:17:46.840 Stand up is so fun.

01:17:48.460 We just did that outdoor festival in Winnipeg and outdoor comedy is typically not that fun

01:17:53.680 to me, but this was great.

01:17:55.500 It was a really fun show.

01:17:57.040 Yeah.

01:17:57.640 Yeah.

01:17:58.000 That was awesome, dude.

01:17:59.140 You saw the trailer park boys there? 1.00

01:18:00.560 Yeah, I did.

01:18:01.120 I got to hang out with them a bit.

01:18:02.360 Yeah, they were funny.

01:18:03.820 They were funny.

01:18:04.780 Julian, the guy that seems like the real mean guy in the show was the nicest.

01:18:10.400 With the big hat, with the black hat on you mean?

01:18:11.820 Yeah, he's really, really interesting guy.

01:18:14.900 Yeah.

01:18:15.360 I mean.

01:18:16.140 What a lineup they had there.

01:18:19.040 They had Miss Pat.

01:18:20.240 There was still smoke in the air when I got there.

01:18:21.940 That was Miss Pat's friends, I'm sure.

01:18:25.420 What a lineup.

01:18:26.280 We had Martin Short, Mulaney.

01:18:27.680 That's so cool.

01:18:29.200 Yeah.

01:18:29.620 Yeah, that was fun, dude.

01:18:31.320 And just to be up there and see what it was like.

01:18:33.240 I wish I'd gotten to stay a little bit longer and I called out the mayor too much, I think.

01:18:37.860 You know, I didn't know who, I heard you calling out a guy, but I didn't know who the mayor was.

01:18:42.660 I was like, release the Epstein Files.

01:18:44.640 Oh, yeah.

01:18:46.300 Gillingham.

01:18:46.660 He just had the perfect name to call out.

01:18:48.140 I have no idea who he is.

01:18:49.420 But I got there a day early and I walked around a little bit.

01:18:52.180 It was fun.

01:18:53.260 I liked the area.

01:18:54.980 Yeah.

01:18:55.640 I thought I went to a nice steak restaurant.

01:18:57.780 Turned out I went to like a chain.

01:18:59.400 The keg is what it was called.

01:19:00.800 I thought, oh, this seems like a cool spot.

01:19:02.520 And then my wife, who's Canadian, who brought you a mug, by the way, a Tim Hortons mug.

01:19:06.860 We had a Tim Hortons in Hermitage now.

01:19:08.560 Are you serious?

01:19:09.380 They're coming over here?

01:19:10.520 Yeah.

01:19:11.100 What's the tariff on those Tim bits, I wonder?

01:19:13.460 I don't know.

01:19:14.200 I've not been, but I do see the credit card when she spends money.

01:19:16.940 She brought you a note there.

01:19:17.840 I don't know if that's a love letter or not.

01:19:19.140 I hope not.

01:19:19.820 Oh, that's sweet.

01:19:20.860 Thank you, dude.

01:19:22.000 But yeah, we had a Tim Hortons in Hermitage.

01:19:23.640 But she told me that the keg is kind of like the outback of, which I don't mind the outback.

01:19:30.900 No, but tell her I said thank you.

01:19:32.840 Yeah.

01:19:34.000 That is, well, dude, my freaking sister used to work at, what's the one with a birthday one? 0.99

01:19:40.900 Texas Roadhouse. 0.94

01:19:42.240 Oh, yeah.

01:19:43.220 Oh, I was just in a Texas Roadhouse in Alabama.

01:19:45.560 And they do quite a birthday thing in there.

01:19:48.420 Yeah, it's big.

01:19:49.440 And they would always get Benjamin.

01:19:50.920 He was like the gay dude that worked there. 0.70

01:19:52.380 And first of all, when you see a gay dude working at a Texas Roadhouse, I support it. 0.86

01:19:56.360 Yeah.

01:19:56.460 But at first, I feel like there's some conflict of interest if some guy's like, this is supposed

01:20:01.260 to be Texas or whatever. 0.87

01:20:02.640 And then some guy's just over there fucking just like, you know, he's just like, you know, 0.98

01:20:07.560 he's just, he's bouncing his dangly earrings off his own shoulders, you know. 0.96

01:20:11.980 And he's like, they say it's your birthday.

01:20:16.040 Because the problem is they're all supposed to sing the birthday song, but they start, 0.64

01:20:19.500 they start monopolizing the use of the gay employee to do all of them. 0.90

01:20:24.040 And that would happen a lot. 0.73

01:20:25.260 I would notice at my sister's restaurant, Benjamin, gay Benjamin or whatever they called

01:20:28.720 him.

01:20:28.860 I didn't call him that.

01:20:29.860 We'd get out there and he would have to do all the birthday songs.

01:20:32.560 So he started feeling kind of taken advantage of.

01:20:35.060 But anyway, I don't know what we're talking about.

01:20:36.680 Well, you know, I mean, it's, you know, you work what you got, you know what I mean?

01:20:41.320 You got to feel good.

01:20:42.240 Like they're like, it feels like nobody can take your job.

01:20:45.480 Ooh, that's a good point.

01:20:46.680 You know, you're like, oh, you, for long birthdays are like, they're coming in and they're

01:20:51.100 going, hey, it's my wife's birthday today. 0.98

01:20:52.780 Is Benjamin working?

01:20:54.140 Right.

01:20:54.540 And Benjamin's not working.

01:20:55.880 So they're like, we'll come back tomorrow.

01:20:57.960 Oh, we'll come back when Benjamin's here for the birthday.

01:21:01.120 We'll come back.

01:21:01.740 Not even on my wife's birthday.

01:21:03.520 Yeah.

01:21:03.760 Because we want the big dog to do it.

01:21:06.420 It's like going to McDonald's and only Grimace is there or whatever.

01:21:08.860 You're like, ah.

01:21:09.680 Right, right.

01:21:10.280 Where's Ronald?

01:21:11.460 We want Ronald.

01:21:12.740 Do you remember when Ronald used to be at the birthday parties?

01:21:14.920 Yeah.

01:21:15.460 I mean, I don't know if he was ever at my Burger King.

01:21:19.180 Was it Burger King?

01:21:19.800 It was McDonald's.

01:21:20.580 McDonald's.

01:21:20.860 I don't remember who the crew was.

01:21:22.700 The Burger King had the king.

01:21:24.280 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:21:24.600 That guy's a fucking creep, though. 1.00

01:21:26.320 They just had some issue with McDonald's. 1.00

01:21:27.700 What was there?

01:21:28.020 Something I saw on the news?

01:21:29.280 Oh, yeah.

01:21:29.500 That's what it was right there.

01:21:31.340 There's some Laotians, huh? 0.96

01:21:32.740 Yeah.

01:21:33.060 That's probably Opelika. 1.00

01:21:34.180 There was some McDonald's news.

01:21:35.740 So I'm trying to think if I had another blue-collar job.

01:21:37.520 Oh, yeah.

01:21:37.800 I used to clean out wishing wells.

01:21:38.800 I've talked about that before.

01:21:40.060 We had a lot of wishing wells in our town, and they'd give kids, like, summer job.

01:21:44.760 You could go clean them, and you have to get down there, right?

01:21:48.320 Yeah.

01:21:48.540 And, oh, dude, I remember they had this.

01:21:50.440 Like a fountain?

01:21:51.120 No, like a wishing well.

01:21:53.480 Like you had to get down in the well.

01:21:54.640 You had to get down there.

01:21:55.480 Yeah.

01:21:55.840 So you had to get a ladder and get you, you know, get down there and get all this stuff

01:21:59.380 out.

01:21:59.680 Wow.

01:21:59.740 But there'd be money down there.

01:22:01.340 Oh, and you got to keep the money.

01:22:02.600 You got to keep a share of it.

01:22:03.600 Okay.

01:22:03.800 You didn't get to keep all of it, but they didn't know, but you didn't want to be dishonest.

01:22:07.980 But anyway, the kid they partnered me with was this black kid, and he, I'd go down, and

01:22:14.640 he was just supposed to keep people from making wishes or whatever while I was down there.

01:22:18.640 But he, when I got down there, he was like, this is at a time in the world when I think 0.96

01:22:22.540 a lot of black people didn't, they were scared of like magic and shit like that. 1.00

01:22:25.740 Some of that was still, you know, because of whatever had happened in the past, I think, 0.96

01:22:32.000 you know, like get in this box and, you know, I'm going to make you a millionaire or

01:22:35.720 whatever, whatever, whatever trick had been played on, and a lot of black comedians or

01:22:40.880 whatever.

01:22:41.280 So anyway, I'd be down there, but when I started just talking up to him, it sounded real scary, 0.96

01:22:45.120 I guess, because of the echoes and shit. 0.98

01:22:46.560 So he'd get all fucking scared, right? 0.98

01:22:48.680 And I'd have to go back up. 0.80

01:22:50.740 He'd be like, dude, it's just me. 0.99

01:22:51.760 Like, fucking chill out, dude. 0.99

01:22:54.680 Yeah. 0.99

01:22:54.960 He's a nice kid, dude.

01:22:55.820 This kid named Alton. 1.00

01:22:57.200 And, but fucking. 1.00

01:22:58.120 He's like, I'm not trying to make a wish. 1.00

01:23:00.340 Yeah.

01:23:01.960 But he'd just be like, what are you, what's happening to you?

01:23:04.340 He'd get so, he'd get so freaked out.

01:23:06.440 And I'm like, it's just me.

01:23:08.000 And I'm like, it's just me, you know? 0.99

01:23:10.340 So he'd fucking run off and get help and shit. 0.98

01:23:12.600 I was like, we're fucking, it was horrible there, dude. 0.99

01:23:15.240 It was just fucking a nightmare, but he was so freaked out. 0.98

01:23:17.880 But anyway, that was one job I had. 0.98

01:23:21.500 You're down there collecting wishes.

01:23:23.760 Well, you're getting the money, but there's also a lot of people throw trash down there.

01:23:28.220 Oh, yeah.

01:23:28.840 Crime equipment.

01:23:29.680 I like to think there's somebody there coming to make a wish and sees you come up with all the money.

01:23:35.600 And it ruins it for them.

01:23:39.200 Yeah.

01:23:40.340 I hope not.

01:23:41.140 I hope that, you know, that wasn't witnessed.

01:23:43.900 It wasn't a lot of money. 1.00

01:23:45.340 It's a lot of bullshit down there. 1.00

01:23:46.820 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:23:47.380 It's not, I mean, you might get $4 out of there.

01:23:49.780 Oh, geez. 0.99

01:23:50.580 You know, nobody's coming up the ladder with fucking 75 bucks. 0.99

01:23:54.480 It's not the ye olde wishing well. 0.97

01:23:56.240 This is not the original. 0.99

01:23:57.320 Well, it's not, yeah, and they're using dimes and shit. 0.96

01:24:00.020 There was no, you know, there's no dollars down there. 0.95

01:24:02.140 You're not even trying to get a wish if you're using a dime. 0.99

01:24:04.460 Yeah, you're just fucking, yeah. 0.99

01:24:06.240 You're just trying to take a little weight out of your pockets. 1.00

01:24:10.500 The well's like, you're never trying to get this wish, are you?

01:24:13.420 Yeah, the well even is like, boo, the well.

01:24:17.080 You think it's a ghost?

01:24:18.240 You're just getting booed.

01:24:20.620 And then out and runs off.

01:24:22.020 He can't handle it.

01:24:22.840 But they should have had some sort of a sensor in there.

01:24:26.200 If a dime goes in the well, just yells something at you.

01:24:28.760 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:24:29.360 Like, fuck you. 1.00

01:24:29.900 Yeah, it's got to be enough weight to trigger it. 1.00

01:24:32.600 Right.

01:24:34.080 But, you know, when I was a kid, you don't have, you know, we found some crime equipment in there.

01:24:38.880 We found a sword, like a bloody sword, I remember. 0.90

01:24:41.840 A lot of to-go containers, people just driving out there, having a picnic, throwing all their shit in there. 0.97

01:24:47.340 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:24:47.920 You know, people didn't, you know, a lot of people I think thought it was like just recycling and shit, like, so just shit like that. 0.98

01:24:54.680 But anyway, those are the days, man. 0.95

01:24:56.600 What's happening in the news right now?

01:24:58.060 What do we got, dude?

01:25:01.740 Nationwide McDonald's boycott planned for August 1st.

01:25:05.120 So that's just happened.

01:25:07.500 Whoa.

01:25:08.240 So why are people boycotting?

01:25:10.140 I guess you're finding this out right now.

01:25:11.680 Yeah, the plan boycott of McDonald's in August was announced by John Schwartz, founder of the People's Union USA.

01:25:18.740 Why?

01:25:19.500 The action has been spearheaded by progressive groups who have expressed a number of concerns over issues including company tax avoidance and workers' rights.

01:25:28.660 In addition to backlash over companies scaling back diversity hiring commitments.

01:25:34.060 Well, I've been boycotting McDonald's for a long time, I think.

01:25:37.300 I don't eat there, but not a real boycott.

01:25:40.200 I just don't eat there.

01:25:41.860 I don't like it.

01:25:43.740 I don't think it's good.

01:25:45.560 That's fair.

01:25:46.860 You know what?

01:25:47.920 I think, yeah, is it good?

01:25:50.280 That's a great question.

01:25:51.300 I don't think it's good anymore.

01:25:53.680 I don't think so.

01:25:54.740 There's hardly any fast food that I think is good anymore.

01:25:57.700 I lived off Hardee's growing up.

01:25:59.480 I mean, that's all we ate.

01:26:00.480 There's a Hardee's right down the street from our trailer park.

01:26:02.920 We had to pass it going to school, from school.

01:26:05.020 I would eat breakfast, lunch, dinner.

01:26:06.860 We ate Hardee's nonstop.

01:26:08.400 Hardee's used to be really good.

01:26:09.440 I like a Hardee's breakfast still, but I'm not into Hardee's lunch and dinner.

01:26:14.580 Yeah.

01:26:15.420 Well, I don't think these places should be doing dinner.

01:26:18.500 Yeah.

01:26:18.900 I mean, yeah.

01:26:20.120 Lunch, I'll buy it.

01:26:21.020 I'll buy it.

01:26:21.420 You guys are doing lunch, but you're doing dinner.

01:26:24.320 Now, I will say this.

01:26:25.400 Hardee's is just a Carl's Jr. in disguise.

01:26:27.520 A lot of people don't know that.

01:26:28.940 Well, Hardee's breakfast, though, is banging, though.

01:26:31.000 These biscuits, yeah.

01:26:33.220 I mean, biscuits and gravy.

01:26:34.320 I used to get a loaded omelet biscuit.

01:26:36.240 This was back when I was drinking, and I was pretty fat.

01:26:39.020 I would get a loaded omelet biscuit, and then I would get biscuits and gravy, and then

01:26:43.540 I would put the gravy on the loaded omelet biscuit.

01:26:46.240 No.

01:26:47.060 It was unbelievable.

01:26:47.900 And they weren't offering that?

01:26:49.220 They weren't offering at the time.

01:26:50.460 I think later they did, but I think somebody found out about what I was doing in the parking

01:26:54.720 lot of the Lowe's. 0.99

01:26:55.520 One of these fucking ops watching me eat. 1.00

01:26:57.620 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:57.880 Yeah, that's how it is, dude.

01:26:59.420 Well, I sometimes will get a double hamburger from McDonald's, and then it's not on the

01:27:04.760 menu.

01:27:05.680 Wow.

01:27:06.780 It's not on the menu?

01:27:08.040 You just have to ask for it?

01:27:09.080 Yeah.

01:27:09.340 I want a double hamburger.

01:27:10.920 And they'll make a sound or something. 0.95

01:27:12.820 If it's a black lady, they'll get kind of pissed or whatever for a second. 1.00

01:27:16.160 You can hear them get them pissed even when the mic's off. 0.98

01:27:18.660 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:19.360 Sometimes.

01:27:19.960 Well, the drive-thru's like that.

01:27:21.140 You can hear that.

01:27:21.920 You can feel the tension.

01:27:23.760 Yeah.

01:27:24.240 You can hear, yeah.

01:27:25.380 But that's it right there, that double hamburger.

01:27:27.100 See, to me, that doesn't even look good.

01:27:28.780 And this is the picture to make it look the best it's ever going to, it ain't even come

01:27:33.080 out looking that good.

01:27:34.280 Oh, this is its Olin Mills photo.

01:27:36.340 This is, yeah, this is its headshot.

01:27:39.720 And it's, yeah, you're right.

01:27:41.360 I think, bring up a picture of a hamburger from McDonald's, I would say from the 1970s.

01:27:47.000 Let's see what it looked like then.

01:27:47.900 Okay.

01:27:48.160 Yeah.

01:27:48.340 I bet they had some sesame seeds on it back then.

01:27:50.680 Ooh, that's true.

01:27:51.200 They didn't even put those on.

01:27:52.060 Probably saves them a millim cent.

01:27:54.760 Oh yeah.

01:27:55.260 Look at that.

01:27:55.900 Oh, that's what I'm talking about.

01:27:57.700 Extra bun in there.

01:27:59.660 I guess that's probably a, a Whopper or something.

01:28:02.880 I don't know what, who has what, but yeah, look at that thing.

01:28:07.060 That thing was pretty good.

01:28:08.420 But now the Big Mac used to be, you don't even hear about the Big Mac anymore.

01:28:11.300 Yeah.

01:28:12.000 And dude, my mom, we would take us, I've said this before, but we would go sometimes and

01:28:16.700 get a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit in the morning from McDonald's.

01:28:18.820 That was something nice that we got to do.

01:28:20.180 Those were good.

01:28:20.720 During like Thanksgiving week.

01:28:21.760 And the hash brown was a full thing.

01:28:23.720 I like that.

01:28:24.580 I like a McDonald's, McDonald's hash brown.

01:28:26.440 I still like.

01:28:27.060 It was good.

01:28:27.580 Full thing.

01:28:28.400 Yeah.

01:28:28.960 Yeah.

01:28:29.440 It was good, dude.

01:28:30.240 And my mom, she would order the McFish or whatever, but she would act like after we'd

01:28:35.580 all ordered, I've said this before, but it still blows my mind.

01:28:38.120 She'd be like, um, and I'll have, and she would make sure we were all kind of quiet so

01:28:41.460 she could order it.

01:28:43.200 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:43.660 Like if she was ordering from like a special fucking menu, like we're going to eat in a 0.99

01:28:47.640 private room or something, she'd be like, and I'll have the McFish. 0.99

01:28:52.100 Yeah.

01:28:52.460 She wants to separate it.

01:28:53.660 This is what the kids have had.

01:28:55.540 A hundred percent.

01:28:55.920 Now I'm an adult and I'll be eating this.

01:28:59.100 She's like, guys, go get your, go get your sodas.

01:29:00.760 And she'd be like, and I'll have the McFish. 0.99

01:29:02.520 Well, you know, I do that if I order coffee at like a Starbucks at the drive-thru and I'm

01:29:06.380 ordering for my wife, I'll go, my wife will have this. 1.00

01:29:09.640 Right.

01:29:09.860 And then I'll have a black coffee.

01:29:12.300 Yeah. 1.00

01:29:12.460 My wife will have a fucking wedding cake in a cup. 1.00

01:29:16.020 Yeah. 1.00

01:29:16.200 I'm sorry to do this to you.

01:29:18.140 Yes.

01:29:19.380 This is what she'll have.

01:29:22.180 Well, yeah.

01:29:22.820 My wife needs to take a nap in an hour. 1.00

01:29:25.120 So she's going to have so much sugar so that she can do that. 1.00

01:29:29.300 Dude, my ex-girlfriend would put like eight sugars in her fucking coffee, dude. 1.00

01:29:33.340 At like, we'd go to meetings and she'd put like eight sugars in her coffee. 1.00

01:29:36.280 I'm like, God, that's bad.

01:29:39.860 In my wife's defense, she is just getting cream in her coffee, but still, I'm like, I

01:29:44.660 want you to know I'm not doing that.

01:29:46.660 Yeah.

01:29:47.460 Okay.

01:29:48.020 And this may be a note for help.

01:29:49.740 Okay.

01:29:50.200 So we don't know what's really going on there.

01:29:52.980 We don't know what's in there.

01:29:53.960 I didn't read it.

01:29:54.720 She did seal it, which I found interesting.

01:29:57.380 Well, that's sweet of her, dude. 0.96

01:29:58.500 If it wasn't sealed, I could have read it in the car.

01:30:00.720 Oh, there was the Jelly Roll Wrestling.

01:30:06.520 I saw that thing.

01:30:07.660 You see that?

01:30:08.320 I didn't see it.

01:30:09.920 This is Jelly Roll's Wrestling now. 1.00

01:30:12.180 Look at this fucking Jelly Roll, dude. 0.99

01:30:13.600 Look how fit he is. 1.00

01:30:14.680 Oh, yeah.

01:30:15.560 Look at that clothesline.

01:30:18.840 Oh, Jelly Roll and Logan Paul.

01:30:20.620 Oh, Jelly Roll's the new Undertaker.

01:30:24.760 Yeah.

01:30:25.080 Just when you thought wrestling couldn't be more realistic.

01:30:27.780 I know.

01:30:28.220 It's crazy.

01:30:29.200 But I think Logan didn't like some of Jelly Roll's songs, and that's how this happened.

01:30:32.820 Oh, okay.

01:30:36.320 So...

01:30:36.720 And I know Jelly Roll's doing a lot of stuff to lose weight, but this is...

01:30:40.280 This is like one of those things you go down to South America to get done.

01:30:46.360 Who's this other guy?

01:30:47.280 Is this other guy got any albums out, or...?

01:30:50.620 I don't know.

01:30:53.120 It's Jake Paul's brother.

01:30:56.320 Wow.

01:31:02.620 Okay.

01:31:03.300 I think that's enough.

01:31:04.040 And look, they hug at the air. 0.99

01:31:05.160 They're trying to fucking kiss real quick. 0.99

01:31:07.540 But hold on. 1.00

01:31:08.180 Go back.

01:31:08.640 There's a little bit on this video that is also...

01:31:11.600 First of all, great job.

01:31:14.740 What a move by him, Logan Paul.

01:31:17.380 Yeah.

01:31:17.560 Oh, it's...

01:31:18.580 Logan Paul is a good wrestler.

01:31:21.780 That's amazing.

01:31:23.220 He is what it takes for the sport.

01:31:26.300 You know, he does that thing.

01:31:27.440 Have you seen that Down syndrome guy that hits those two beers together and then gets in the glass?

01:31:33.560 I only know Stone Cold to smash the...

01:31:35.620 That's all I know.

01:31:36.480 Oh, yeah?

01:31:36.780 I kind of tapped out a while ago on wrestling, but...

01:31:39.520 But go back to the beginning of the video, please.

01:31:41.780 You'll see Jelly on the table when they put him on the table.

01:31:44.420 Watch.

01:31:45.040 He kind of...

01:31:45.620 This is like me.

01:31:46.940 Like, say if I'm at a girl's place and she's like, I'm going to go to the restroom or something. 0.99

01:31:50.180 I'll try to make myself look cool.

01:31:51.500 I get in the right position.

01:31:52.640 Watch him kind of scoot over.

01:31:54.080 Oh, yeah.

01:31:54.560 Yeah.

01:31:54.760 He kind of just moves into the right spot so that it works out.

01:32:02.160 Dude, that was pretty cool.

01:32:04.200 Yeah.

01:32:05.300 But that's wrestling, dude.

01:32:06.360 That was big in our town.

01:32:07.380 Dude, one of our neighbors dated a Hulk Hogan impersonator, actually.

01:32:11.460 Oh.

01:32:12.220 And that was pretty cool.

01:32:13.720 We'd always get excited. 0.99

01:32:14.980 He'd come in the yard and fucking... 0.99

01:32:16.720 Rip his shirt off. 1.00

01:32:18.120 Yeah.

01:32:18.460 Yeah.

01:32:19.340 You know, Jelly Roll's a real Nashville guy.

01:32:21.880 Yeah.

01:32:21.980 My friend used to work at Hooters, and she would say that Jelly Roll used to come in

01:32:26.960 back in the day.

01:32:28.000 He's always been a rapper in town.

01:32:30.120 So I think that's cool.

01:32:31.560 Yeah.

01:32:32.200 I met Jelly Roll a few times.

01:32:33.800 Nice guy.

01:32:34.580 Oh, the best.

01:32:35.080 Jelly Roll sang to my mom outside of Zaney's on the sidewalk one time.

01:32:39.140 Really?

01:32:39.700 Yeah.

01:32:40.300 Yeah.

01:32:40.720 I was like, that's what I'm talking about.

01:32:42.020 Oh, he's just so heartfelt, man.

01:32:43.740 Yeah.

01:32:43.840 He's just a human hug, you know?

01:32:46.760 And just his dieting.

01:32:47.880 How much has Jelly Roll lost?

01:32:49.960 It's got to be 150 pounds.

01:32:51.980 It's got to be a lot.

01:32:52.980 I've not seen him like that.

01:32:54.100 He looked very thin.

01:32:55.560 You would think you would want a heavier Jelly Roll to be in the WWE. 0.95

01:33:00.340 Yeah.

01:33:00.760 200 pounds, it says, in a year.

01:33:02.580 Almost 200 in a year.

01:33:05.620 And his energy, dude, I saw him a couple weeks ago.

01:33:07.640 Just after Shane Gillis had done his show with the ESPYs.

01:33:10.680 We stopped in and said, what's up?

01:33:12.480 He was like, just great energy, saying, you know, just like his energy level, everything.

01:33:17.660 Yeah.

01:33:17.760 I remember seeing him a couple years ago, and I was like, man, it just seemed like he

01:33:20.760 was in unsafe territory health-wise.

01:33:22.480 I mean, just visibly, you know.

01:33:24.040 Yeah.

01:33:24.240 You don't know.

01:33:26.260 But that's pretty amazing, dude.

01:33:27.760 Yeah.

01:33:27.980 We're going to go to Hulk Hogan's funeral this week.

01:33:32.120 Yeah.

01:33:32.380 I'm bummed about that.

01:33:33.180 I always wanted to meet Hulk Hogan.

01:33:34.540 I was always a fan as a kid.

01:33:36.020 I got a little Hulk Hogan alarm clock at home.

01:33:38.240 I mean, I don't use it still, but I got one.

01:33:40.620 But I had it as a kid.

01:33:42.260 Yeah.

01:33:42.680 Someone sent it to me.

01:33:43.680 But I had one as a kid.

01:33:44.740 Like, you know, wake up, eat your vitamins, you know, say your prayers.

01:33:49.040 He was exceptional, man.

01:33:50.720 Yeah.

01:33:51.640 He was exceptional, dude.

01:33:53.600 Yeah, dude.

01:33:54.180 I mean, this dude would come over to date this lady in our neighborhood, and he would do

01:33:57.460 like, he would get out of his car and do the whole Hulk Hogan thing, like he was going,

01:34:00.660 like when he was going up to the door to knock on her door.

01:34:03.060 Oh, yeah.

01:34:03.460 Doing the, doing the, yeah.

01:34:04.820 I'm a real American. 0.97

01:34:07.900 And he'd play the song in his car, and we'd all get out there and fucking chill. 0.98

01:34:11.040 Oh, yeah. 1.00

01:34:11.780 Fucking party, dude. 1.00

01:34:12.840 Yeah, that's the clock. 1.00

01:34:14.080 Yeah.

01:34:14.560 Oh, yeah.

01:34:15.320 Yeah.

01:34:16.220 I got one of those.

01:34:17.480 Yeah, man.

01:34:17.940 And it's kind of sad.

01:34:18.640 I mean, when I grew up here, it's like, just like my buddy, Eddie Joe, my buddy, Larry

01:34:22.220 Tisdale, William Teague.

01:34:24.840 We used to, on our street, we loved Hulk Hogan, bro.

01:34:27.480 We loved him, dude.

01:34:28.400 We loved all of WWE, WWF, NWA, all those guys.

01:34:33.040 Oh, yeah.

01:34:33.560 We used to go, I like, you know, in Opelika, Columbus, Georgia's close, and that's where

01:34:36.880 they had Georgia Championship Wrestling and WCW, so we used to go there, watch Ric Flair

01:34:42.240 and Sting back in the day.

01:34:43.760 Yeah.

01:34:44.220 Steiner Brothers.

01:34:45.480 Steiner Brothers, dude.

01:34:46.700 Look at those guys.

01:34:47.920 Bushwhackers. 0.93

01:34:48.420 I got a bunch of pictures that we just took on our, you know, our camera of, like, the,

01:34:52.240 yeah.

01:34:53.200 Steiner Brothers is the only Jewish mentally challenged people, I think, in the South.

01:34:56.340 Yeah.

01:34:58.820 Yeah.

01:34:59.360 You know, they just didn't have that back then.

01:35:00.960 That's true.

01:35:01.740 But that, I mean, that just shows you, like, Jewish people are just so, like, they'll always 1.00

01:35:05.020 figure out, you know, they take their two mentally hitting at people, they put them 0.59

01:35:08.300 into wrestling.

01:35:09.640 Yeah.

01:35:10.260 You know?

01:35:10.800 And look at them.

01:35:12.060 They're stacked.

01:35:13.200 Well, some cultures, we're putting our best people into wrestling.

01:35:16.640 Yeah.

01:35:17.960 Yeah.

01:35:18.560 We're giving up good guys for this.

01:35:22.600 Dude.

01:35:23.060 And the crazy part was, though, that guy and the lady that got in, like, a domestic dispute, 0.99

01:35:26.360 and the cops would think it was just them fucking practicing wrestling and shit. 0.97

01:35:31.100 Like, that was the craziest thing if you dated, like, a Hogan impersonator or, like, 0.99

01:35:36.380 a Jimmy Snook impersonator or whatever, because they'd fucking be clotheslining some lady in 1.00

01:35:41.580 the yard and the cops were like, that's awesome, you know? 0.95

01:35:44.560 Yeah.

01:35:44.780 Run it back.

01:35:45.660 Yeah.

01:35:46.120 Yeah.

01:35:46.420 She's helping.

01:35:47.120 She's a good wife. 1.00

01:35:48.060 She's helping in practice.

01:35:50.120 Getting ready.

01:35:52.020 It was just different times, dude.

01:35:53.420 We'll miss Elizabeth out here.

01:35:55.080 Are you worried about AI stealing your job at all?

01:35:58.540 Do you think about that as a comedian?

01:35:59.780 I don't think so, but I do think I'm in a good place to, because AI can't even get the

01:36:05.480 way that I look right.

01:36:07.080 Maybe the way I look to other people, but it never looks like me.

01:36:10.400 Yeah.

01:36:10.460 It can't get my jokes down.

01:36:12.140 People try to get it to write an AI joke.

01:36:14.080 It never makes any sense.

01:36:15.380 Yeah.

01:36:16.000 And then I feel like my delivery is my comedy.

01:36:20.140 So I think, and people tell me all the time, I try to help them write jokes, and they

01:36:23.800 go, well, that's funny if you say it.

01:36:25.940 Right.

01:36:27.040 So, but I also think I'm in a good spot to make enough money to where I can just chill

01:36:35.620 because I live a normal life.

01:36:37.100 So I can just chill out if AI does steal my job.

01:36:40.960 But there is, apparently there is something where they're trying to get some kind of,

01:36:45.180 pass some legislation with AI where it's like, if someone is using your likeness for AI,

01:36:52.520 then you can get royalties off of it.

01:36:54.560 So maybe AI could do corporate gigs for me. 0.95

01:36:57.100 Oh, that'd be nice.

01:36:58.040 Yeah.

01:36:58.520 I wouldn't get hired for a lot of corporate gigs because I like, just because I have more

01:37:02.200 profanity in my son and your set is pretty clean.

01:37:04.280 Yeah.

01:37:04.480 Um, is your set fully clean?

01:37:07.060 Uh, I wouldn't say it's, I like to say I'm relatively clean, right?

01:37:10.800 Where I go, I go, I don't want kids to come to my show, but you know, you can watch with

01:37:15.520 your aunt and not be embarrassed that you're watching it with her.

01:37:18.620 Yeah. 0.57

01:37:18.980 I get, you know, I got, I got a few sex jokes and stuff like that, but nothing too graph,

01:37:24.300 nothing graphic at all and nothing.

01:37:26.820 And I like to talk about drugs.

01:37:28.560 Yeah.

01:37:28.980 Yeah.

01:37:29.200 That's fair.

01:37:29.780 Yeah.

01:37:30.220 Yeah.

01:37:30.580 That doesn't even look like you very much.

01:37:31.980 Right.

01:37:32.280 I mean, it's like people could say, oh, there's a guy that looks like Dusty, but he really

01:37:37.340 doesn't look like me.

01:37:38.600 Yeah.

01:37:39.580 Oh, Microsoft just dropped a study showing the 40 jobs most affected by AI and 40 that

01:37:44.480 they can't touch.

01:37:46.720 Let's look at three of these.

01:37:50.540 Phlebotomists.

01:37:51.040 That's true.

01:37:52.500 Getting blood out of somebody.

01:37:53.920 Oh yeah.

01:37:55.200 Nursing assistants.

01:37:56.640 I like that nursing assistant is listed higher here than like a nurse.

01:38:01.440 Yeah.

01:38:01.660 So are they saying hazardous materials, waste, revertible.

01:38:06.480 What is that?

01:38:07.080 Removal workers.

01:38:10.920 Embalmers. 1.00

01:38:11.640 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:38:12.400 Yeah. 1.00

01:38:13.640 Tire repairs.

01:38:14.720 Hell yeah.

01:38:15.400 Yeah.

01:38:16.900 Prosthodontists, dude. 1.00

01:38:18.580 People that make prosthetics and shit. 0.99

01:38:21.000 We used to, we had a place that made some prosthetics near us and they would throw all 0.99

01:38:23.840 the bad ones over the fence, dude.

01:38:25.000 And they'd be in the woods back behind our house. 1.00

01:38:27.360 We'd be fucking humming thumbs at each other and shit. 1.00

01:38:29.880 Yeah. 1.00

01:38:30.240 We'd flip each other off with fucking kneecaps and shit. 1.00

01:38:33.640 It was awesome. 1.00

01:38:34.240 My wife read this book.

01:38:35.800 Uh, it was like by Klaus Schwab.

01:38:37.820 Like it was like called, uh, the great reset.

01:38:40.560 And it was like, it was like COVID-19 and the great reset.

01:38:44.320 I've heard about that.

01:38:44.840 And it wasn't like some conspiracy book.

01:38:46.780 It was a book he wrote and he had talked about in there that like entertainment jobs

01:38:51.800 are safe because we're always at, people are always going to need entertainment.

01:38:56.560 Yeah.

01:38:56.960 But what if we don't have any money to survive?

01:39:00.600 Do you think people are going to spend it to like rent a film or something?

01:39:04.420 Yeah.

01:39:04.760 I mean, if there's no money, that will be tough.

01:39:07.200 It'd be tough to make money off live performance, but I think we just make less money.

01:39:12.880 Like you do it for cabbages or something.

01:39:15.240 Right.

01:39:15.500 Totally.

01:39:15.800 I think you would still show up and have a tent or something and do it like that, you

01:39:18.480 know?

01:39:18.600 Yeah.

01:39:18.940 And sell like, you know, make it a nickel or dime, you know, whatever the thing is.

01:39:22.660 I agree.

01:39:24.160 Um, and maybe that's what it would become.

01:39:25.540 You're just traveling around with a cart and that's what you're doing.

01:39:27.520 Yeah.

01:39:27.680 Now working for drink tickets wouldn't be so bad.

01:39:30.080 We're like, yes, please.

01:39:31.180 Dude.

01:39:31.500 I always had a dream of working under a tent, you know?

01:39:34.180 Yeah.

01:39:34.720 I really like a, like a carnival.

01:39:36.660 Yeah.

01:39:36.940 And it's peer to peer that way too.

01:39:38.680 It's just, this is it.

01:39:40.040 Yeah.

01:39:40.260 That would be, I mean, like comedy would be so fun in a way that if you could, you just traveled

01:39:45.140 to different towns and just do comedy under a tent and nobody, like, like, like the old

01:39:50.380 days of comedy, nobody knows what you're going to be doing.

01:39:53.960 Yeah.

01:39:54.460 And you can just do the same act for 10 years.

01:39:56.820 It was all a surprise.

01:39:57.980 Yeah.

01:39:58.440 Yeah.

01:39:59.220 Okay.

01:39:59.620 Here's some at risk jobs, writers and authors, uh, historians.

01:40:04.260 That would be one.

01:40:04.940 I would be kind of scared.

01:40:05.960 Um, writers and authors that's at risk right now.

01:40:08.340 Cause no one's reading.

01:40:10.020 Right.

01:40:11.600 Including myself.

01:40:12.740 Yeah.

01:40:13.420 It's different times.

01:40:14.240 Uh,

01:40:14.560 statistical assistants, data scientists, web developers, kind of things you would think

01:40:22.620 of sort of, let me see if there's anything out there.

01:40:25.940 Concierges.

01:40:27.380 Models.

01:40:27.920 Well, concierge, cause you can just Google restaurants near me.

01:40:32.160 Yeah.

01:40:32.600 But then I, you almost do want to be like, Hey, what's really good.

01:40:35.260 You know, you want to, I feel like to me you want, but you're probably right.

01:40:40.800 Models.

01:40:41.260 I feel like they'll be fine.

01:40:42.340 Yeah.

01:40:44.080 Models, dude. 1.00

01:40:44.660 They need somebody to fricking do blow or whatever. 0.99

01:40:47.240 Yeah.

01:40:48.380 Who's going to do that?

01:40:49.460 Yeah.

01:40:49.840 Oh, now roofers.

01:40:50.860 No, roofers are already doing drugs of their own.

01:40:54.040 That's for models. 0.72

01:40:55.520 Um,

01:40:55.920 I did drugs with, uh, roofers in, uh, Gulf Shores, Alabama.

01:41:00.580 Oh, yeah.

01:41:00.880 I met, I needed, we were, I was like a late teenager and was looking for weed.

01:41:04.780 I met these guys real tan on the beach, jean shorts, and they gave me a little weed and then

01:41:09.540 they took me and my buddy back to their trailer and they had all this weed in the freezer.

01:41:13.520 And the guy had a home, he had a bong, but the, the slide, the bowl was made out of a piece of two

01:41:20.580 by four and it was carved out.

01:41:23.580 So he had, you know, still a slide where he'd take it off to clear the chamber and he packed

01:41:28.100 it in and he goes, he was like, let me hold it.

01:41:30.980 Let me hold.

01:41:31.560 And then he wanted to clear the chamber and then we both coughed our heads off.

01:41:35.680 And then we got so paranoid.

01:41:38.280 It's 4th of July.

01:41:39.280 Fireworks are going off.

01:41:40.340 We think it's gunshots.

01:41:42.040 We're freaking out.

01:41:43.020 This guy loves it.

01:41:43.900 He loves that.

01:41:44.740 We're freaking out.

01:41:45.600 And that makes it even scarier.

01:41:47.480 He's just laughing.

01:41:49.420 He starts playing an electric guitar to your fears.

01:41:53.060 That's scary, dude.

01:41:54.400 When you're scaring somebody, he's like, oh, you're really scared right now.

01:41:56.560 Let me play this electric guitar for you.

01:41:59.660 Yeah.

01:42:00.120 And then it was fun.

01:42:00.900 We got to leave, but it was like terrifying.

01:42:03.900 And then you're finally, you never think you're going to get out of there.

01:42:06.560 And then you're in the car and you're like, ah, and we got some weed. 0.95

01:42:09.660 Dude, is there anything better than you trapped in some place you're so fucking high when you

01:42:13.900 finally get out of there and you're like, oh, and it could have just been anywhere. 0.86

01:42:17.500 Could have been a conversation.

01:42:18.500 Could have been a car ride.

01:42:19.460 Could have been anything.

01:42:20.440 Yeah.

01:42:21.340 And then you're finally out of there and you're like, oh, it's over now.

01:42:24.400 Free at last.

01:42:25.280 I'm free.

01:42:25.980 Yeah. 1.00

01:42:26.380 God, that shit was fun. 1.00

01:42:27.700 Yeah. 1.00

01:42:28.140 I love that.

01:42:29.160 What else we got?

01:42:29.980 Oh, in two separate recent WNBA games, they've been plagued with a new problem. 0.95

01:42:35.320 Unruly spectators throwing sex toys onto the court.

01:42:38.260 Hmm. 0.99

01:42:39.340 Oh, God.

01:42:40.960 Indeed, officials had to pause two WNBA games this week because a person in the stands threw 1.00

01:42:44.820 a sex toy on the court.

01:42:46.160 The first incident happened on Wednesday in Atlanta, while the second happened on Friday

01:42:50.560 in Chicago.

01:42:51.400 Sounds like they're trying to pump it up.

01:42:55.080 Yeah.

01:42:55.360 They're trying to get you excited.

01:42:56.380 Indiana fever guard, Sophie Cunningham shared on her social media, her concerns about people

01:43:00.360 throwing these NSFW items on WNBA courts with an ominous warning. 0.99

01:43:04.960 You're going to hurt one of us.

01:43:07.360 Um, and what are they throwing?

01:43:09.200 Let me see.

01:43:09.800 I'm guessing it's.

01:43:11.140 I saw a picture.

01:43:12.380 You did?

01:43:12.940 Yeah.

01:43:14.260 And then what is it?

01:43:16.440 Okay.

01:43:23.200 Okay.

01:43:23.660 We don't get to see it hit the court, though.

01:43:25.860 Somebody, first of all, great accuracy.

01:43:28.600 And that lady kicked it just into the stands, which seems crazy. 0.72

01:43:32.620 That doesn't even make sense.

01:43:44.260 That second one, I thought would, I mean, that second one was, that was a great shot.

01:43:49.560 Oh, 35 to 70 bucks.

01:43:50.760 So somebody's, you know, that's it.

01:43:53.940 You're not just screwing around out there.

01:43:56.480 Yeah.

01:43:56.720 Somebody's putting some money into it.

01:43:58.300 I mean, it is kind of wild, I guess, to, but first of all, I'd embrace it if I'm the

01:44:03.860 WNBA, right?

01:44:04.880 I would shoot those things out of a t-shirt candidate during pride month or whatever.

01:44:08.860 Yeah. 0.79

01:44:09.420 That's what I'm saying.

01:44:10.380 I mean, if things get wild and people start tuning in, that's great.

01:44:14.220 It's good money.

01:44:15.160 You know, you don't want people to get hurt.

01:44:17.040 And I guess that's disrespectful, but it's like, yeah, make it turn the negative around.

01:44:22.320 Yeah.

01:44:22.540 Let's put a positive spin on it.

01:44:23.940 I mean, that lady was excited. 1.00

01:44:26.020 You know what I'm saying?

01:44:26.720 And I don't know if that's AI.

01:44:28.720 It could be AI.

01:44:29.760 It's allegedly a picture of a woman.

01:44:32.400 But that's an attractive lady who was very fired up. 1.00

01:44:35.080 And then maybe you make it like a, there's one minute during the game.

01:44:39.400 It's almost like where they throw the fish on the ice.

01:44:41.400 Yeah.

01:44:42.240 Yeah.

01:44:42.620 It's like this.

01:44:43.120 There's like, if somebody hits three, three pointers in a row, they hit a hat trick.

01:44:47.640 They throw a catfish on the ice. 0.91

01:44:49.520 Or they, you know, they trolling sex toys out there, bro. 0.91

01:44:52.280 Yeah. 0.99

01:44:53.000 Yeah.

01:44:53.320 Make it like a, you know, like a pom-pom, you know how, like a, like a Mississippi, they

01:44:57.200 have the bells.

01:44:58.400 Isn't it like one, like Mississippi state has the bells, the cowbells.

01:45:02.040 Yeah.

01:45:02.360 And then like, you know, you have pom-poms and you have different, you could have little

01:45:05.780 vibrators.

01:45:06.700 So yeah, just a bunch of vibration.

01:45:09.400 Welcome to the hive.

01:45:10.800 Yeah.

01:45:10.960 Call your place the hive or whatever.

01:45:12.300 Oh yeah.

01:45:13.300 We're buzzing tonight.

01:45:16.360 And then you also have, yeah. 0.90

01:45:18.360 Like if somebody has three, three pointers in a row, everybody, uh, throw a dildo out 0.94

01:45:23.300 there, you know? 0.86

01:45:24.360 Yeah.

01:45:24.880 You know, bounce a plastic keck off the floor or whatever.

01:45:27.460 And then you see people taking them home with them after the game.

01:45:29.960 Yeah, dude.

01:45:30.660 Oh yeah.

01:45:31.160 I mean, look.

01:45:32.480 It's like, I bought a $20 ticket. 0.93

01:45:34.660 I took home a $40 dildo.

01:45:36.460 This is a, I made money here.

01:45:37.940 Some kid has a collection in his room from like, you know, I don't know.

01:45:44.040 I mean, look, I think you have to embrace it.

01:45:46.220 You don't get free advertising like this a lot.

01:45:49.360 And Caitlin Clark's out. 0.73

01:45:51.780 She's been injured half of the season this year, almost, or not half, but a decent amount.

01:45:56.600 So you need people to tune in.

01:45:59.200 I don't know.

01:46:00.200 Hey, you got to get those viewers.

01:46:01.760 TBD, man.

01:46:02.420 We're all trying to get views out here.

01:46:03.720 We're doing what we got to do.

01:46:04.880 If somebody starts throwing dildos on the stage at my show and it gets people into it,

01:46:09.280 I say, let's do it.

01:46:10.420 Okay.

01:46:11.100 You heard him, guys.

01:46:12.620 You heard him.

01:46:13.140 Only if it gets people into it.

01:46:14.560 If it's not driving sales, then we got to shut it down.

01:46:17.300 But dude, you telling me a t-shirt cannon full of five or six dildos and they just popping 0.98

01:46:22.060 them bitches off. 1.00

01:46:23.140 People are catching them in the stands. 1.00

01:46:24.720 That's fine.

01:46:25.280 Yeah.

01:46:25.940 There's a way to do it and there's a way not to do it, guys.

01:46:28.300 We're just helping you think. 0.97

01:46:30.320 But yeah, yeah, I think the WNBA can embrace more like lesbian style stuff or d*** tactics, 1.00

01:46:35.980 people call them. 0.99

01:46:36.720 Okay.

01:46:37.300 Yeah.

01:46:37.680 You know?

01:46:38.220 Yeah.

01:46:38.820 And we don't have to call them that.

01:46:41.700 What else?

01:46:42.400 Oh, comedian Matt Reif buys home of couple who inspired The Conjuring becomes guardian of

01:46:48.300 the haunted Annabelle doll.

01:46:50.620 This is interesting.

01:46:51.500 Yeah, I've seen this.

01:46:52.340 This freaks me out.

01:46:53.160 I feel like I'm your friend at the top of the wishing well now.

01:46:57.180 This is freaking me out.

01:46:58.200 I didn't know about this.

01:46:59.160 Matt Reif is pivoting to the paranormal, at least when it comes to his new pad.

01:47:03.140 The stand-up comedian has bought the former house of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the ghost

01:47:06.600 hunters who inspired the couple played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Famigia in The Conjuring

01:47:13.740 franchise.

01:47:14.640 I've officially purchased Ed and Lorraine Warren's home and Occult Museum.

01:47:18.660 Where is that?

01:47:20.180 I don't know, but I saw him talking about that this morning and I like him, but I think

01:47:24.720 this is scary.

01:47:26.200 It's interesting.

01:47:26.920 It freaks me out for him.

01:47:29.480 Ed and Lorraine Warren's famous house, which includes the Occult Museum and the artifacts

01:47:33.100 featured in many other investigations, is located in Monroe, Connecticut.

01:47:38.000 The museum housed in the basement in a separate outbuilding at this location contains many allegedly

01:47:42.480 haunted and occult items collected by the Warrens.

01:47:45.500 The museum was closed to the public in 2019.

01:47:50.000 As of recent years, the property is not open to the public due to zoning restrictions.

01:47:53.940 Visitors are strongly discouraged.

01:47:55.640 Wow.

01:47:55.980 How much did he pay for it?

01:47:57.160 How much does something like that cost?

01:47:58.360 I wonder.

01:47:59.780 You like that?

01:48:00.640 Are you into like this kind of like paranormal stuff like this?

01:48:04.140 I mean, I don't know if I would want to sleep around that or encourage another portal to

01:48:10.640 hell to be open in my life.

01:48:12.240 Yeah.

01:48:13.240 That's what I'm saying.

01:48:14.520 I just think there's already a lot of dark arts going on out there. 0.93

01:48:18.680 And I do not know if this is the other type of behaviors we need.

01:48:21.660 It feels like he's going, this is going pretty well.

01:48:24.020 Let's try to mix it up a bit.

01:48:26.480 Yeah.

01:48:26.920 I mean, and he also has a shirt on that says God's country.

01:48:29.380 So maybe he's trying to get in there and refurbish some of what they're doing.

01:48:31.640 Yeah, maybe so.

01:48:33.760 Insane announcement.

01:48:34.500 I've officially purchased Ed and Lorraine's home.

01:48:37.620 I'm incredibly honored to have taken over one of the most prominent properties in paranormal

01:48:41.820 history.

01:48:43.240 Wow.

01:48:43.820 The other guy's shirt says rise above fear.

01:48:45.860 I mean, maybe they're, yeah, they're trying to turn it around.

01:48:49.680 They could be the new Bieber and Carl Lentz.

01:48:52.500 Yeah.

01:48:53.280 I don't know what they did, but.

01:48:55.900 Bieber and Carl Lentz, where they kind of had joined up and just had a relationship.

01:49:00.160 I think that part of it was based on their, both of their religious.

01:49:02.900 Oh, yes, yes.

01:49:03.980 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:04.740 Yeah.

01:49:04.960 Maybe so.

01:49:06.140 What would you buy if you could buy something like that?

01:49:08.220 Or if you just like spent money on something wild?

01:49:09.860 See, I like land.

01:49:11.340 If I could just buy a lot of land.

01:49:13.660 Oh, yeah.

01:49:14.100 That's what, because land is so expensive now, but it's so, so valuable.

01:49:18.320 I just love to buy a lot of land.

01:49:20.260 I'd like to have, you know, a lot of woods and mountains and creeks and water.

01:49:25.660 Yeah.

01:49:26.120 Or we could just, me and my kids could just get on the four-wheeler and just ride around

01:49:30.500 out there or just walk and explore, get some animals, get some.

01:49:34.120 I went to a museum and, or not a museum, like a eagle thing in, outside of Gatlinburg, where

01:49:41.520 they have like a lot of eagles and falcons and owls.

01:49:44.500 Yeah, birds.

01:49:45.360 Yeah.

01:49:45.820 Love that stuff.

01:49:46.720 God, yeah.

01:49:47.640 I'm all about it.

01:49:48.820 I want to build a food forest, you know, where everything in the forest is all fruit bearing,

01:49:54.660 food bearing, you know, vines and trees and bushes.

01:49:59.340 And would it become like a pass-through for starving people?

01:50:02.220 Like what, or what's the strategy kind of behind it?

01:50:03.860 Or just to have it for yourself?

01:50:04.980 Yeah.

01:50:05.300 Just so, you know, me and my kids and family could, and my wife could just go eat fresh

01:50:10.260 fruit and vegetables all the time.

01:50:12.900 I mean, maybe if you're starving, yeah, you can walk through there too.

01:50:15.500 Get yourself some food.

01:50:17.000 Dude, that's awesome.

01:50:17.980 I'd stop through there.

01:50:19.000 If I was really hungry, I would come by there.

01:50:20.740 Yeah.

01:50:20.960 Yeah.

01:50:21.080 That's nice.

01:50:21.580 I would like to have a place like that.

01:50:25.280 If I get a family and stuff, I'm going to get me a little bit of land, get me a dog or

01:50:29.420 two.

01:50:30.000 Yeah.

01:50:30.480 Maybe a cat.

01:50:31.180 I don't know. 0.99

01:50:31.660 Fucking who knows. 0.99

01:50:32.380 That's crazy. 1.00

01:50:32.960 I'm not getting a cat.

01:50:34.780 But I will try to get something nice.

01:50:37.320 But I love that, dude.

01:50:38.580 But would you, if you could buy something like, Matt must really be in the paranormal,

01:50:41.920 I'm guessing, because this seems, it's definitely unique.

01:50:45.700 Unless they partnered with Matt.

01:50:47.300 This is the thing you have to realize about advertising.

01:50:49.500 They may have just partnered with Matt.

01:50:50.760 Let's put this article out and let's make this museum really pop, you know?

01:50:55.540 Oh, yeah.

01:50:56.080 Who knows?

01:50:56.640 It could be.

01:50:57.040 You just never know.

01:50:58.880 But, I mean, that's how advertising is.

01:51:02.200 Yeah.

01:51:02.620 Do you, I'm trying to think of what I would buy.

01:51:04.600 Maybe like a small castle.

01:51:07.560 You ever see, like, I don't know.

01:51:08.620 I think that'd be fun.

01:51:09.620 A little, have a little, you know, like a, whatever they call it, a little, I don't

01:51:13.960 know what you call them.

01:51:14.740 What on the sides of the castle?

01:51:16.080 Oh, yeah.

01:51:16.320 It kind of has the round thing that goes up.

01:51:18.240 Have a little tower up there.

01:51:19.400 Have a little.

01:51:19.720 Yeah.

01:51:20.400 What is that called?

01:51:20.920 It looks like a rook in chess.

01:51:25.240 Yeah.

01:51:25.560 Yeah.

01:51:25.600 Put a little perplexity on it.

01:51:26.820 All round part of castle tower.

01:51:33.300 Yeah.

01:51:33.680 Like, that's what I'm talking about.

01:51:35.300 A drum tower.

01:51:36.480 A drum towers.

01:51:37.100 Yeah.

01:51:37.320 I'd love to have something like that.

01:51:39.660 God, that would be nice.

01:51:40.760 A little castle wall.

01:51:41.940 So you have to go through a door, but inside is a little courtyard and you can have, so you're

01:51:45.880 protected, but you can still have a little village inside.

01:51:48.940 Get a bunch of my friends to come live with their families.

01:51:52.000 God, it'd be fun.

01:51:53.340 Yeah.

01:51:53.600 I wouldn't mind being part of a commune or something one day.

01:51:56.080 Yeah.

01:51:56.360 Or group living where you just live off the land and you're kind of.

01:51:59.100 I'm into that too.

01:52:00.080 People get so negative about it, but I'm into that.

01:52:02.540 I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

01:52:04.080 I think that'd be great.

01:52:05.140 Yeah.

01:52:05.400 You don't want to be like a cult, but close to it.

01:52:09.760 Yeah.

01:52:09.960 Well, I think they only get negative about it.

01:52:11.680 It often gets pinned, I feel like on white people too.

01:52:13.980 It's like, I don't think if white people, if they're not being racist, they can support

01:52:17.960 other people like themselves.

01:52:19.640 I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

01:52:21.240 Yeah.

01:52:21.440 I mean, and I just think it'd be fun to just have a little community where you're like,

01:52:25.820 you know, you're all, you're like one person does this, one person does this, and then

01:52:29.600 you trade.

01:52:30.540 Like I'm the shoemaker or whatever.

01:52:32.140 Yeah.

01:52:32.540 Like I'll make you something.

01:52:34.240 Yeah.

01:52:34.520 You're repairing your shoes and your boots and one person's really good at cooking and one

01:52:38.920 person's good at farming, one person's good at, you know, I don't know, working on cars

01:52:43.300 or raising a horse.

01:52:45.640 Yeah.

01:52:46.060 Or I'll do like the little methadone area if we need it.

01:52:48.560 Yeah.

01:52:49.300 And you might need it because people likely will come to the commune and need to need a

01:52:54.740 little help, you know?

01:52:55.680 Oh yeah.

01:52:56.200 You got to have that area too.

01:52:57.980 Like, oh, I'll meet you over there in the methadone TP.

01:53:00.560 Yeah.

01:53:00.820 Yeah.

01:53:01.000 And eventually that's the most popular TP in the place.

01:53:04.900 Now the shoes aren't getting repaired.

01:53:06.720 That's the thing you start to worry about is how does this all break down?

01:53:11.600 I'm trying to think.

01:53:12.520 I just bought Dustin, I bought Dustin Poirier's gloves from his last fight, from his UFC fight.

01:53:16.400 Oh yeah?

01:53:17.000 Yeah.

01:53:17.800 I wanted the last one so bad, but somebody beat me on eBay or whatever.

01:53:24.620 But I would buy James J. Braddock, something like a memorabilia of his.

01:53:28.320 Remember him from Cinderella Man?

01:53:29.820 Oh yeah.

01:53:31.340 I would buy some memorabilia of his.

01:53:32.840 Oh yeah.

01:53:33.180 The Bulldog of Bergen, baby.

01:53:34.820 Maybe that's who I would buy some of his.

01:53:37.380 I mean, that's just something like a specific thing I would get, you know?

01:53:39.880 Oh yeah.

01:53:40.660 Oh yeah.

01:53:41.340 When I was just thinking in reference, like in the same world of a house, like he's bought.

01:53:45.620 So I was just like, that's why I said castle or, but yeah, I mean, I would love just a

01:53:50.780 lot of land.

01:53:51.460 I think it just, cause you can just do so much.

01:53:53.460 So I got 10 acres that I've been doing all these things.

01:53:56.240 I've been able to build a little swales and put fruit trees and all these different things

01:54:00.020 on it.

01:54:00.240 I've been trying to cultivate it.

01:54:01.640 I'm into ponds now.

01:54:02.900 I want to build a, I want to build a pond at the top that kind of pumps water from the

01:54:07.080 creek and comes down and runs all throughout.

01:54:09.940 Wow.

01:54:10.420 And do you have access to a creek?

01:54:11.720 Yeah.

01:54:12.340 Wow.

01:54:12.840 I want to build a lot of water channels.

01:54:14.880 Do they allow how much water you can access and stuff?

01:54:17.000 I've not looked into it because I don't live out there in McMinnville, so I don't know how

01:54:21.800 much I can do right now, but I would, I don't want to steal it.

01:54:25.720 I just want to borrow it and then channel it back to the creek.

01:54:28.880 I like that.

01:54:30.400 Yeah.

01:54:31.060 I love that.

01:54:32.160 Or borrow it, put a flavored syrup in it, channel it back.

01:54:37.260 Perfect.

01:54:38.080 Yeah.

01:54:38.500 Imagine somebody's upstream, like, oh, this is nice water downstream. 1.00

01:54:41.960 Like motherfucker, that's Sprite. 0.99

01:54:43.840 Yeah. 1.00

01:54:44.440 Yeah.

01:54:45.400 Yeah.

01:54:45.800 Right, you know, and you're like, you're just out, you think, oh, I'll get a nice drink

01:54:49.040 from the creek.

01:54:50.300 Yeah.

01:54:50.580 Yeah.

01:54:51.380 Mountain Dew.

01:54:52.080 That's it.

01:54:52.700 They think you're making a pun because it's coming from a mountain and you're like, no,

01:54:55.740 this is, this really is Mountain Dew.

01:54:57.840 Yeah, dude.

01:54:58.760 Now, if somebody's just peeing in the river and you're downstream of that, that's Mountain

01:55:01.940 Don't.

01:55:02.780 Yeah, that's right.

01:55:04.100 That is right. 0.99

01:55:04.840 That's damn Mountain Don't, dude. 0.99

01:55:07.560 Oh, this part. 0.99

01:55:08.040 Rife noted that he and Castee plan to open the house for overnight stays and museum tours so you

01:55:14.840 yourself can experience and learn all the haunted history surrounding this amazing place.

01:55:18.580 I think that's cool, man.

01:55:20.320 Matt's a creative guy.

01:55:22.560 And, oh, yeah, Elton Castee.

01:55:25.380 He's a paranormal guy.

01:55:27.680 Hell, yeah. 1.00

01:55:28.560 Fuck him. 1.00

01:55:29.200 Well. 1.00

01:55:29.800 Fuck all them ghosts, dude. 1.00

01:55:30.960 Or whatever, dude. 1.00

01:55:32.360 Don't touch them.

01:55:33.340 Yeah.

01:55:33.460 I'm in the don't touch them camp, but, you know, everybody's got to do their own thing.

01:55:38.360 Well, look, I don't really want to walk with Satan.

01:55:43.500 Yeah.

01:55:44.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:55:45.960 I'm not into it, but, you know, people, you know, somebody's got to be.

01:55:50.180 Yeah.

01:55:50.440 To each their own.

01:55:51.200 Yeah.

01:55:51.340 I'm glad it's not me, but I'm good luck to those guys.

01:55:54.320 Yeah.

01:55:54.640 That's what I say.

01:55:55.320 Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania.

01:56:00.760 Commuter's worst nightmare.

01:56:02.840 Little hot dog pun in there.

01:56:05.040 Yep.

01:56:05.300 W-U-R-S-T. 1.00

01:56:06.380 Oh, my God.

01:56:07.200 Look at all those Franks on that freeway. 1.00

01:56:10.040 It's like a WNBA game out here.

01:56:15.200 Dude, that's the kind of stuff we need.

01:56:18.440 Yeah, exactly.

01:56:19.820 Get the news pumped up.

01:56:21.080 Dude, here's what they do.

01:56:21.960 Now I have a great idea. 0.91

01:56:22.680 In the middle, in the middle of the court at halftime, you can hum a dildo, right? 0.89

01:56:29.140 Yeah.

01:56:29.720 Or H-A-D, whatever you want to call them. 0.98

01:56:31.620 You can chuck a dildo out there. 0.91

01:56:33.460 If it lands in that middle area, the middle circle where they do the tip ball in the middle 0.92

01:56:37.480 of the court, if it lands in there, you get a free Frank.

01:56:41.740 Free hot dog.

01:56:42.660 Yeah, I love that.

01:56:43.900 That's a good idea.

01:56:46.840 You know, what they could call, you know, ring a wiener for a wiener or something like

01:56:50.920 that.

01:56:51.080 Yeah.

01:56:51.660 Wiener, wiener.

01:56:53.240 Hot dog diener.

01:56:54.520 Yeah.

01:56:56.420 You get a hot dog sponsor.

01:56:58.180 You get some dildo sponsors in there.

01:57:00.680 You get it all working out.

01:57:01.980 Yeah.

01:57:02.300 Everybody's making a little extra money out here.

01:57:04.340 I like it.

01:57:05.440 And you're feeding the fans, man.

01:57:07.780 Yeah.

01:57:08.600 You telling me a lot of these ladies don't want that hot Frank? 1.00

01:57:12.040 Yeah.

01:57:12.860 They do.

01:57:14.100 Well, look at these guys with the shovels, though.

01:57:15.900 Imagine your day of shoveling hot dogs.

01:57:19.260 Yeah.

01:57:20.160 Lucky, dude.

01:57:21.340 Let me get a gander at these guys.

01:57:25.240 All right.

01:57:25.980 Shrewsbury, PA.

01:57:26.680 A truckload of hot dogs spilled across a Pennsylvania interstate Friday.

01:57:29.800 After a crash that briefly clogged the highway in both directions, crews were stuck with a job they did not relish.

01:57:36.880 More play on words.

01:57:38.020 Rolling up the scattered tube stakes for disposal.

01:57:41.100 Heavily traveled artery.

01:57:43.520 Hmm.

01:57:44.440 No, another one.

01:57:45.420 Yeah.

01:57:45.620 Yeah.

01:57:45.860 Once those leave the truck and hit the road, that's all garbage, and it's still pretty warm.

01:57:50.900 Okay.

01:57:51.720 So one guy was upset that they couldn't use them.

01:57:54.740 A front-end loader was used to scoop, which also I'm going to say is what my dad referred to my stepmom as once.

01:58:02.580 So I'm not saying she got around, but a front-end loader was used to scoop up the hot dogs and drop them into a dump truck.

01:58:10.460 I can tell you personally, hot dogs are very slippery, the fire chief said.

01:58:13.940 I did not know that.

01:58:15.640 Okay.

01:58:16.860 You told me the fire chief's never had a hot dog?

01:58:19.720 Come on, dude.

01:58:20.980 Dude, that's their main source of sustenance. 0.99

01:58:24.120 If you've ever been to any firehouse, there is always a crock pot going with a couple hot dogs in it.

01:58:34.040 I think he was just like, if you're quoting me, I want you to know I've never touched a wiener before.

01:58:38.900 Yeah.

01:58:39.120 Oh, yeah.

01:58:40.280 A lot of those guys will keep it straight no matter whatever they got to do to get it.

01:58:46.020 Four people required medical attention, Dowerman said, for injuries that police said were not life-threatening.

01:58:52.140 Okay.

01:58:53.360 What happened to them?

01:58:55.380 God.

01:58:56.300 Hopefully this ends up becoming a 30 for 30.

01:59:00.520 You've got to know.

01:59:02.180 Tie it into the WNBA. 1.00

01:59:05.280 Meanwhile.

01:59:07.460 Yeah.

01:59:07.900 Oh, Dusty Slay, man.

01:59:11.700 Thanks for hanging out, dude.

01:59:13.360 Yeah.

01:59:13.600 Thanks for having me.

01:59:14.400 This is great.

01:59:15.100 I appreciate it.

01:59:15.780 So much fun.

01:59:16.080 Yeah.

01:59:16.780 Congrats on Wet Heat.

01:59:20.080 It's out there now.

01:59:21.740 People can go watch it.

01:59:22.760 Yeah, it's on Netflix.

01:59:28.240 It's streaming.

01:59:29.140 It's hot.

01:59:30.240 It's a good special.

01:59:31.660 It's not a time waster.

01:59:33.240 No, it is not.

01:59:34.140 People love it.

01:59:34.820 And they get to know you, too.

01:59:36.000 I think you have your own kind of pentameter, your own sort of style.

01:59:40.720 I mean, most comedians do.

01:59:42.240 But I think you really feel it here, you know?

01:59:44.520 Thank you.

01:59:45.200 I modeled this hat after this one I'm wearing right here.

01:59:48.000 See, this is a Kodiak wintergreen.

01:59:49.320 So I can't really wear this hat.

01:59:51.880 But that one on my head there modeled after this one.

01:59:55.200 Oh, they wouldn't let you wear that one?

01:59:56.800 Well, I think that we were just worried about it.

01:59:58.960 Yeah.

01:59:59.520 Yeah.

01:59:59.700 Keep it safe.

02:00:00.360 And is this a hat?

02:00:01.340 Is this your merch?

02:00:02.260 Yeah.

02:00:02.900 Oh, that's beautiful.

02:00:03.560 What does it say on it?

02:00:04.220 It says, all right, all right.

02:00:05.880 You know, because I say, all right.

02:00:06.880 And then my name.

02:00:08.160 I love it.

02:00:08.880 Yeah.

02:00:09.080 You have to order me one of those.

02:00:13.080 Yeah, go ahead and order me one of those hats so I can have one to wear sometime.

02:00:17.940 Yeah, it's a limited edition, that hat.

02:00:19.780 Okay.

02:00:19.940 Because the stripes cost more to put on.

02:00:22.280 Oh, yeah.

02:00:23.260 So it's a limited edition.

02:00:25.240 Well, let's get it.

02:00:26.180 We'll take one.

02:00:26.880 I like it.

02:00:27.620 All right.

02:00:28.340 Thank you.

02:00:28.820 Thank you for my coffee mug to Miss Slay.

02:00:33.660 And, yeah, thanks for all the comedy, dude.

02:00:36.180 Yeah, well, I appreciate you.

02:00:37.380 This is great.

02:00:38.000 Your podcast is great.

02:00:39.080 I think you're the best podcaster.

02:00:41.280 You're the funniest guy on podcasts that exist.

02:00:44.320 And this is great.

02:00:45.820 I'm happy to be here.

02:00:46.680 Oh, that's nice of you, dude.

02:00:47.820 I appreciate it.

02:00:48.440 I thought you, like, you know, I thought you really carried the load today, but I thought

02:00:52.320 it was super easy for us to chat and hang out, you know, which I thought was really nice.

02:00:55.440 Didn't feel like we were lifting any heavy lifts, you know?

02:00:57.880 No, I felt great.

02:00:58.780 I had a good time here.

02:00:59.680 I mean, I've watched you on podcasts for a long time, and I still think that there's

02:01:05.300 a video of you that circulates through my TikTok sometimes of you doing comedy in a retirement

02:01:11.660 home, and you're doing jokes about your dad, and it is in front of these really old people.

02:01:16.480 It's the funniest stand-up.

02:01:19.580 It's so good.

02:01:21.180 Well, thanks, bro.

02:01:22.060 Thanks for the compliments. 0.98

02:01:23.960 When your land, whenever that land, when those fruit trees are ready, shit could get weird 0.98

02:01:28.780 in the world. 0.89

02:01:29.680 So you and I might be out there making TikToks together and selling fruit.

02:01:32.760 I love it.

02:01:33.300 And if that's what happens, then I'll be happy to work right there side-by-side with you.

02:01:38.180 And we got to get to Charleston and do a show, dude.

02:01:40.320 We should.

02:01:41.060 I mean, yeah.

02:01:42.060 I mean, it's great.

02:01:42.880 Charleston's great.

02:01:43.660 I mean, it's changing all the time.

02:01:45.020 It's growing, but it's still great.

02:01:46.840 We should put it together.

02:01:47.720 We should put it together.

02:01:48.920 Yeah.

02:01:49.000 We can do that for later this year or next year.

02:01:51.500 Dusty Slay, thanks so much, dude.

02:01:53.600 Are you touring somewhere this week, or right now you're just letting the special rock?

02:01:57.040 I am touring.

02:01:59.140 Dustyslay.com's got all my dates, but I'm starting in Huntsville.

02:02:03.380 Alabama.

02:02:03.940 And then I'm, well, I'm doing the Comedy Store on the 5th.

02:02:06.760 I don't know when this comes out, but I'm in Huntsville, Alabama on the weekend, Atlanta.

02:02:11.480 And then I just, it just starts from there.

02:02:13.380 Okay, great, dude.

02:02:14.360 Yeah.

02:02:14.680 A lot of places you can see them.

02:02:16.680 Dustyslay.com for his tour dates.

02:02:19.480 And yeah, man, thanks for the time, brother.

02:02:21.720 Thank you.

02:02:22.060 Yep.

02:02:22.700 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

02:02:28.380 I must be cornerstone.

02:02:33.300 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

02:02:39.080 I can feel it in my bones.

02:02:43.260 But it's gonna take...

02:02:45.560 I can feel it in you.

02:02:57.640 Yeah.

02:02:57.900 I can feel it in you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - August 07, 2025

#601 - Dusty Slay

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