This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #604 - Jim Jefferies

00:00:00.000 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian. He's an actor. He's a podcaster.

00:00:04.640 He just released his 10th stand-up comedy special on Netflix. It's called Two Limb Policy.

00:00:11.900 We actually want to dedicate this episode to his nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent.

00:00:17.100 Thank you for your service, sir. Today's guest is the one and only Jim Jeffrey.

00:00:30.000 How have you been? How are you doing with things?

00:00:42.160 I'm alive, man. What am I? I feel like I'm stressed out a lot, but it's okay.

00:00:46.860 I just have to slow things down a little bit for myself.

00:00:49.780 I think sometimes you get busy and it's hard to see what you're doing.

00:00:55.800 You're just going. I think some of that's just life. As you get older, you're just going.

00:01:00.000 Am I still walking in the direction I want to be in or what's even going on?

00:01:04.160 Well, look, the first time we worked together, per se, was on a pilot for Comedy Central.

00:01:10.040 We were watching some slam poetry.

00:01:11.960 Oh, yeah. That was good.

00:01:13.300 And now fucking look at you. You're interviewing the top people in the world, man. 0.99

00:01:17.080 So, yes, you're going in the right direction, Theo.

00:01:19.280 I wouldn't be too nervous about how your life's going. 0.98

00:01:23.120 Take the good with the bad and keep fucking riding the wave, brother. 0.98

00:01:26.080 Yeah, thanks, man. 0.98

00:01:26.980 And, yeah, I think it's just more like, yeah, you just get going. 1.00

00:01:30.580 You're like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:01:32.020 How old am I? 1.00

00:01:32.920 What am I doing?

00:01:33.560 You know, you're just like, it's just life.

00:01:34.740 Life gets going like that, man.

00:01:36.060 Yours has changed a lot since I saw you, dude.

00:01:37.860 You had a child.

00:01:38.700 You have autism.

00:01:40.900 Well, autism is such a hard thing to put your finger on, isn't it?

00:01:44.320 You know what I mean? 0.98

00:01:45.180 Like, I might just be an arsehole, you know? 0.98

00:01:49.460 People always say, you know, I had one doctor say, oh, we think that you're on the spectrum and things. 0.91

00:01:54.440 But there's such a rainbow of where you can be and what, you know, you could be functioning to completely unfunctioning, needing help all your life.

00:02:03.560 So, look, you know, when I was a kid, they tried to go, oh, you have attention deficit disorder.

00:02:10.360 And then dyslexia, I'm positive.

00:02:12.520 Autism, I'm pretty sure on.

00:02:14.300 I don't think I had attention deficit disorder.

00:02:16.200 I was just filled full of Ritalin as a child.

00:02:18.720 But, yes, I have had another kid since I've seen you.

00:02:21.820 I've got a 12-year-old and a 4-year-old.

00:02:24.100 And I've sobered up, more importantly, since we last saw each other.

00:02:27.600 I haven't had a drink in close to five years.

00:02:31.300 Oh, congratulations, dude.

00:02:33.080 How's that changed?

00:02:33.860 I mean, that must have changed everything.

00:02:35.220 I still partake in weed.

00:02:38.860 So I'm not sober, sober.

00:02:40.700 So I don't want to preach that I am completely sober.

00:02:43.660 But you don't drink.

00:02:44.200 But I haven't had a drink or a cigarette in years.

00:02:47.080 It happened during COVID.

00:02:50.000 I started drinking at home.

00:02:52.700 And I used to have a policy that I'd only drink at work, you know?

00:02:56.260 Which is the opposite of the most things.

00:02:59.020 It's obviously an Irish policy.

00:03:00.460 Yeah, yeah, I was like, I can drink at work, you know,

00:03:03.540 because I can have a couple of beers before a show

00:03:05.320 and I can have a couple of, you know, spirits after the show.

00:03:08.740 And, you know, you can go in a dressing room in the comedy store

00:03:12.120 and say, give me a vodka Red Bull or whatever if you're a bit tired.

00:03:15.360 And then when COVID happened, I started drinking at home excessively.

00:03:21.620 Like how early?

00:03:22.300 Like were you getting up and cracking one?

00:03:23.600 Oh, yeah, I was getting right into it.

00:03:25.420 And then my wife gets pregnant and she's not drinking.

00:03:29.840 And I was probably quite unpleasant to live with.

00:03:32.020 And I thought, out of solidarity, I won't drink with her, you know?

00:03:36.040 And then, you know, look, I very clearly had a drinking problem.

00:03:40.960 And it played out in front of people so many times, you know?

00:03:44.040 I had my third special, we're here to promote my 10th special,

00:03:47.840 Two Limb Policy out on Netflix right now.

00:03:50.040 But my third special was called Fully Functional.

00:03:55.040 And it was all about how I had given up alcohol and I was, you know,

00:03:59.460 fully functional and I was doing comedy sober.

00:04:01.980 And then I was drunk in the next one.

00:04:03.800 Wow.

00:04:04.060 You know what I mean?

00:04:04.600 And so it's very hard.

00:04:05.720 And I've watched people do this that are in the limelight where you go,

00:04:08.680 I'm giving up drink.

00:04:09.680 And you put a big flag in the ground and you say, I'm a non-drinker.

00:04:12.700 And then you let everyone down, you know?

00:04:15.940 You let everyone down when you slip up and all that type of stuff.

00:04:18.380 So I kept the first bit of my sobriety sort of to myself until I came out of

00:04:23.100 coke.

00:04:23.220 I was a couple of years in before I started telling people.

00:04:25.620 And now I don't really miss it.

00:04:28.880 I tell you what, I missed a cigarette.

00:04:30.280 I went and saw Oasis in concert and they were playing cigarettes and alcohol

00:04:33.540 and people were lighting up in Wembley Stadium.

00:04:36.220 And just like there's so many people smoking, security wasn't doing fuck all. 0.67

00:04:40.300 Yeah.

00:04:40.420 And I was like, I was like, yeah, I wanted to light up more then than I ever had.

00:04:45.300 But I pushed through that, you know?

00:04:47.260 And I had a tragedy in my life.

00:04:48.420 I didn't smoke.

00:04:48.880 Because they always say with smokers, they go, you're always a smoker when the,

00:04:53.740 you know, the chips are down.

00:04:54.900 Yeah.

00:04:55.160 Right?

00:04:55.700 And I had a big tragedy in my life and I didn't light up.

00:04:58.620 So I think I've kicked that.

00:05:00.660 Well, I hope I have.

00:05:01.480 So it kind of taught you a lesson or showed you that you had some progress or

00:05:04.420 something right there.

00:05:05.240 Dude, yeah.

00:05:05.540 I remember like, because in one of your specials, I distinctly remember you like

00:05:09.020 having a beer and getting through your beer pretty quick.

00:05:11.460 And then like, I even remember, I think there was one where there was a couple of

00:05:14.360 glasses sitting on a table, like empty glasses.

00:05:17.500 I think people thought this was a thing.

00:05:19.240 And one of my specials, I had a big wooden box on the thing and I would pull a beer

00:05:22.980 from out of the wooden box and the crowd would cheer each time because, oh, he's

00:05:25.860 bringing out another one.

00:05:26.500 He's bringing another one.

00:05:27.040 But we all know you record two shows for a special, right?

00:05:30.940 You do two performances.

00:05:32.540 You primarily use one and then maybe edit a joke in that you haven't done or

00:05:36.200 whatever like that.

00:05:36.940 And so for continuity, we had to hide the pints behind the box.

00:05:42.060 So, but we edited in every pint that I did drink.

00:05:45.180 So it does, it did look like I had a few. 0.99

00:05:48.920 Yeah, I remember it's looking at a, I was like, God, he's fucking doing it. 0.93

00:05:51.540 I think it was, because it was like six pints in an hour. 0.88

00:05:54.160 Like no one's doing six pints an hour, he's doing three pints in each hour and six

00:05:58.740 pints in an hour seems a little excessive.

00:06:01.160 It's a lot.

00:06:01.800 Yeah, it seems like a lot.

00:06:03.320 You don't drink, right?

00:06:04.440 How long have you been?

00:06:05.440 I had probably, I think in my, the most time I had, I probably had six years and then

00:06:11.120 I had two, one, then I've had like groups of months, you know?

00:06:16.140 That's exact.

00:06:16.600 So when I did fully function, I had two years, got drunk again, then had a year and now

00:06:21.860 we're on a five year.

00:06:22.780 Yeah.

00:06:23.340 And so I don't know if I'll, you know, maybe I'll drink again, but the problem is every

00:06:28.560 time I've taken drinking back up, every time I've taken it back up, I've been good for six

00:06:33.320 months.

00:06:33.800 Right.

00:06:34.280 It's like, it's not like I become like Barney Gumbel and take a sip and go, oh, like that.

00:06:38.700 I'm like, all right, I had two, I'm good.

00:06:40.540 And then I think I can handle, I think I can handle, I think I can handle, and then I'm

00:06:44.000 back to being weight.

00:06:46.060 I'm a sloppy drunk.

00:06:47.440 Are you?

00:06:47.820 Does that mean, is it, what comes out of you?

00:06:49.360 Is it like aggression?

00:06:50.260 Is it yelling at a neighbor?

00:06:52.140 Is it racism?

00:06:53.100 Like, how do you notice it flare up?

00:06:55.000 It's blackout, man.

00:06:56.480 I don't remember a single thing.

00:06:58.400 And so then also when you add fame into the mix and someone will say, hey, I met you and

00:07:04.040 then you did ABC or you said this, that, and the other, you can't even prove them wrong.

00:07:09.320 And even when it's something where you go, I've never done that.

00:07:11.800 That doesn't sound like me at all.

00:07:13.880 I can't remember the night at all.

00:07:15.500 I was blacking out. 0.99

00:07:17.100 And that's why it sort of got comfortable at home with, who gives a fuck if you black out 0.99

00:07:20.940 at home? 0.99

00:07:21.440 Yeah.

00:07:22.040 Everybody says a virus, people are dying or whatever.

00:07:24.960 Fat people are coughing to death. 1.00

00:07:26.560 Like, yeah, it's a different time.

00:07:27.880 But also, like, when you stop cocaine, you stop cocaine, I started to look more drunk.

00:07:33.180 That's when people were getting into me going, you need to take control of your drinking.

00:07:36.420 And you're like, oh, no, no, no.

00:07:37.420 I've just given up another thing.

00:07:38.900 Yeah.

00:07:39.460 I'm actually in recovery this way.

00:07:41.620 But I just look worse because I'm sweating.

00:07:44.240 And I'm, you know, because cocaine keeps you up, right?

00:07:46.560 Yeah.

00:07:47.080 Health with the posture.

00:07:48.180 Good for the posture.

00:07:48.760 Oh, definitely. 1.00

00:07:51.740 You see a guy like, fuck. 1.00

00:07:53.020 Straight up. 1.00

00:07:54.020 Here we go.

00:07:55.520 I'm back. 0.99

00:07:56.660 I'm a fucking buoy. 1.00

00:07:59.180 Did your kid notice or anything like that or no? 0.99

00:08:01.480 My, yeah, my little boy at that stage would have been about seven.

00:08:05.780 And he knew when I was drunk.

00:08:07.220 Yeah.

00:08:07.520 And there was definitely times that he would be like a child out of a movie.

00:08:13.780 Daddy, are you having a drink again?

00:08:15.800 You know what I mean?

00:08:16.820 You're like, yeah, where'd you hear that sentence?

00:08:20.060 Was that from the lady I gave a house to?

00:08:22.160 You know what I mean?

00:08:24.700 But, yeah, your daddy having a drink again.

00:08:27.360 He laughs about it now.

00:08:29.080 Sounds like a song.

00:08:29.960 I think he was just teasing me, really.

00:08:32.000 I don't think he was ever bothered or upset about it.

00:08:34.380 Yeah, maybe he just had a really good sense of humor, you know?

00:08:37.180 Daddy.

00:08:37.380 He's got a great sense of humor, my boy.

00:08:39.120 He's got a great sense of humor.

00:08:40.520 Does he?

00:08:41.240 Yeah, he does.

00:08:42.220 I've got nieces and nephews and obviously my kids.

00:08:46.220 And me, I've got two brothers.

00:08:48.280 And one brother is a very nice man, has a good sense of humor, can't tell a joke to save his life.

00:08:54.700 And then I've got another brother who's as funny as me.

00:08:58.280 And you might not think I'm funny, but me and him are both the funny ones, right?

00:09:02.980 Me and him sort of get together like we're in a Jedi council and we decide who's got the gift or not.

00:09:10.040 When the children are about three or four, you start going, oh, I think it's strong with this one.

00:09:14.020 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:09:15.100 So I've got both my boys, I think, have it. 0.75

00:09:17.500 Like guessing if your kids are gay, too, they do that. 0.99

00:09:19.960 Kind of the same thing.

00:09:21.180 Yeah, you start to look early.

00:09:23.220 You go, I don't know about it.

00:09:24.460 Maybe.

00:09:25.060 It's all right, though.

00:09:26.300 As long as he's happy.

00:09:29.660 Yeah, so I've got a couple of out of – I won't say who because they might all listen to this.

00:09:35.940 So out of my five nephews and nieces, two of them have it.

00:09:42.520 Two of them have it.

00:09:43.980 I won't say which ones, but they know.

00:09:45.680 They know who it is.

00:09:46.720 They know who they are.

00:09:48.080 Yeah, it is kind of funny to see kids develop and then you start to see their personality.

00:09:51.860 And then like, yeah, when they do something that makes you laugh or they have like a unique way of looking at things or if they start to seem cool, that's pretty neat. 0.95

00:09:59.080 You're like, oh, this kid's fucking cool. 0.88

00:10:00.800 That's dope. 0.99

00:10:01.700 I had – I was talking about the tragedy.

00:10:04.140 I don't know why I'm bringing – I had a –

00:10:05.620 Yeah, no, you said that something that had occurred.

00:10:07.540 Well, my nephew died in a helicopter accident.

00:10:10.260 Oh.

00:10:10.960 Yeah, and we made the news in Australia.

00:10:12.580 And I want to sort of talk about it a little bit because there's been a cover-up by what I believe the Australian government. 0.95

00:10:18.880 So I'm getting into conspiracy theory shit now. 0.98

00:10:21.280 Welcome. 0.96

00:10:21.920 But, okay, so you can check this online.

00:10:25.600 My nephew, Lieutenant Max Nugent, was in a helicopter.

00:10:29.100 Now, how Australian a death is this? 1.00

00:10:31.400 He crashed a helicopter up near the – a bit above the Great Barrier Reef for the military and was eaten by sharks.

00:10:39.000 Like his remains, there was no remains left.

00:10:41.040 So that's pretty Australian.

00:10:42.360 You know, that's pretty –

00:10:43.280 I mean, it's a high velocity.

00:10:44.480 It almost sounds like something that would be sponsored by Red Bull, to be honest, you know.

00:10:47.600 So he was on –

00:10:49.320 It's pretty high velocity.

00:10:49.780 He was on military war games flying a Taipan helicopter.

00:10:53.520 And they were in a group of four flying along.

00:10:57.900 America was there as well.

00:10:58.940 There was 30,000 soldiers from all of our allies around the world.

00:11:03.620 And the helicopter crashes.

00:11:06.340 So it's a game.

00:11:07.020 It's a competition?

00:11:07.940 They play basic war games.

00:11:09.460 So they're in formation for Taipan helicopters.

00:11:13.080 The helicopter crashes.

00:11:14.440 They wear these helmets that were completely – it's just like all the readings are in there.

00:11:19.800 You know, I don't know why they can't just do it in an office like a drone.

00:11:22.560 You know what I mean?

00:11:23.280 But they're in the helicopter and they're looking at all their things.

00:11:26.560 The helicopter hits the water.

00:11:28.080 The four men on the helicopter die instantly.

00:11:30.300 And within a matter of a couple of weeks, Australia had decommissioned the helicopters,

00:11:39.180 taken them apart, and buried them in the desert.

00:11:42.180 The Ukraine said, we'll take the helicopters.

00:11:44.960 And the Australians went, no, no, no, no, no.

00:11:46.840 Don't you worry about that.

00:11:48.380 Then my brother and my niece and my sister-in-law had to sit through an inquiry that went on

00:11:54.960 for almost two years, whether the government was responsible or not,

00:12:01.000 where the test pilot stood up and said that those helmets were defective

00:12:04.560 and would end in industrial manslaughter, right?

00:12:08.600 So this was documented that the –

00:12:10.060 This was documented in the inquiry, right?

00:12:12.820 It's like watching a few good men, like talking about the military 0.99

00:12:15.400 and the government trying to cover its ass. 0.98

00:12:17.060 I said that it would – they also – the weather environment – it was raining really badly. 0.99

00:12:21.860 Other countries didn't go out on patrol that day.

00:12:23.900 They said the weather was too bad.

00:12:25.760 The soldiers were too tired.

00:12:27.840 One of the soldiers said that they were so tired they couldn't fly the aircraft.

00:12:31.940 And then my nephew stepped in to actually do it. 0.99

00:12:35.900 There's just so – and it was just so much bullshit. 0.97

00:12:38.960 And then they made it until they had, I believe, five days to actually put in a civil suit 0.98

00:12:45.760 to sue the government or the statute of limitations ran out.

00:12:49.440 And the inquiry ended with five days. 0.89

00:12:51.740 Who has five fucking days to get a law – they dragged it out on purpose so that we – 0.97

00:12:57.820 Now, I get that the world's going to war – well, the world's – we're in a war. 0.98

00:13:03.980 Everyone – whether it kicks off more, who knows, right?

00:13:07.680 But the Australian military might be going into a war scene pretty soon, right?

00:13:12.560 Anything you guys do, we'll do as well, right?

00:13:14.960 And so they can't be paying out every soldier who dies or whatever like that.

00:13:20.920 But this was not – this was war games.

00:13:23.520 There was things that weren't followed.

00:13:26.160 There was things that have been – there's literally helicopters that have been buried. 0.98

00:13:29.860 If you want to find an Australian Taipan fucking helicopter, you need a treasure map, mate. 0.98

00:13:33.840 Wow. 0.98

00:13:34.680 So I just – the only reason I'm bringing it up here on the show –

00:13:37.520 No, let's bring it up if it's wrong.

00:13:38.860 Is you've got such a big platform, mate, and I just wanted to sort of get that bit of information out.

00:13:44.820 You can go onto my Instagram.

00:13:46.780 I've put up all the clips there.

00:13:48.200 Or just Google the accident.

00:13:50.660 I'm not a big conspiracy theory guy, but it seems pretty shady to me.

00:13:55.260 And were you able to – were you able to – like how do you even go about combating that or like getting investigations into this?

00:14:06.980 I don't know.

00:14:08.140 I think I'm doing it right now.

00:14:10.580 Yeah.

00:14:10.840 I think this is all I can physically do.

00:14:13.060 At the very least, I'd like my nephew's death not to be forgotten.

00:14:18.480 I'd like him to be remembered.

00:14:20.200 And what I've seen my brother go through, you wouldn't put on to any parent losing their child, right?

00:14:26.460 You wouldn't put it on to anybody.

00:14:27.980 Let's bring him a picture of Mr. Nugent.

00:14:29.840 Max Nugent.

00:14:30.940 Max Nugent.

00:14:31.820 Lieutenant Max.

00:14:32.380 The thing is he grew a stache just before he –

00:14:35.520 Oh, hell yeah.

00:14:35.980 Yeah, because there he is.

00:14:38.200 He looked like he was from the 1940s.

00:14:41.620 He looked like he'd just come back from beating some Germans, didn't he? 1.00

00:14:45.660 He definitely looks like a time traveler.

00:14:47.540 He was ready to go, old Max.

00:14:50.680 Hello, Max.

00:14:51.520 That boy, mate.

00:14:52.860 I remember when he was born, and he was one of those guys you just never disappointed.

00:14:58.060 Every step along the way, he wanted to be a fighter pilot, but he was six foot six, so he had to go in the helicopters.

00:15:07.180 Oh, because there's more room in there?

00:15:08.280 Yeah, a bit more leg space.

00:15:09.540 Yeah, I could see that.

00:15:10.180 A bit more leg space.

00:15:10.740 You don't want to be in a fighter jet and be a real tall guy.

00:15:13.780 Yeah, with your legs or something like that.

00:15:14.940 Sitting there like that.

00:15:15.540 Oi, Maverick.

00:15:18.540 He's moving the throttle with his foot.

00:15:21.140 Was he your first nephew?

00:15:22.460 He was my first nephew.

00:15:23.340 Oh, man.

00:15:24.520 I keep on getting his age wrong in every interview.

00:15:26.380 I believe he was 23.

00:15:27.740 I believe he was 23.

00:15:28.560 He was very young.

00:15:29.520 And was he married or no?

00:15:30.580 He had a girlfriend.

00:15:31.480 Oh, wow.

00:15:32.720 That he'd been living with for a very short amount of time.

00:15:34.940 Hell yeah, put the bills on her. 1.00

00:15:36.380 But he was just starting out in life.

00:15:40.100 He'd just gone through all the training and stuff and graduated to actually become the

00:15:43.740 helicopter pilot and actually be a real, you know, for everybody in the military that

00:15:49.560 sees battle, I think there's 12 people behind them who are catering and supplies and this,

00:15:54.180 that, and the other.

00:15:55.180 You know, they're the rock stars, man.

00:15:57.660 The fighter pilots and the helicopter pilots and stuff.

00:16:00.140 We were proud of him.

00:16:01.100 Oh, they're the heroes.

00:16:01.960 I'm sure you were.

00:16:02.680 He looks like somebody very much to be proud of.

00:16:04.420 That's why I wanted to get a good look at him, so we can honor him today.

00:16:06.340 When Australia goes to war, we don't, you know, that's the first bloke we send in.

00:16:12.580 We send in the planes and the helicopters.

00:16:14.240 That's the first bit of assistance we send in.

00:16:16.700 You know, like, I don't know if you know this, but Australia's, I believe, and New Zealand,

00:16:20.600 I've got to give New Zealand credit, but Australia and New Zealand are the only country

00:16:23.600 that have fought alongside you for over 200 years.

00:16:29.000 Wow.

00:16:29.420 Other countries have dipped in and out.

00:16:30.840 Just, for example, Britain never went to Vietnam.

00:16:33.580 Australia went to Vietnam, right? 0.89

00:16:35.460 I don't know if we get enough.

00:16:36.260 You've been there.

00:16:36.960 You don't get enough credit.

00:16:37.580 I don't know if Australia gets enough credit.

00:16:39.100 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:39.460 It's like Trump slapping fucking tariffs on Australia. 1.00

00:16:42.260 I'm a bit like, what the fuck are you doing there, man? 1.00

00:16:44.580 We're one of you guys. 1.00

00:16:45.860 Yeah, these are our fucking kangaroo mates. 0.99

00:16:50.440 It's true, though. 1.00

00:16:51.200 I know you're very popular in Australia.

00:16:52.920 We had a good time over there.

00:16:54.640 Dude, it was so much fun.

00:16:55.600 But yeah, I don't understand some of what Trump's energy is about a lot of these types of things.

00:16:59.100 You know, it's very bizarre, you know, and I think it's just getting more.

00:17:03.020 The government feels further and further away from the people more than ever.

00:17:06.520 But I think it's nice that countries like yours, a lot of countries have spoken up like about what's happening in the Middle East.

00:17:11.320 And I feel like I've had a voice into it's been.

00:17:14.100 We have people now recognizing Palestine as a state.

00:17:17.720 Yeah.

00:17:18.020 To see these prime ministers do that, it's important.

00:17:20.740 You know, like to tariff Australia is pretty weird.

00:17:24.520 We buy three times more stuff from you than you buy from us.

00:17:27.380 Why would you?

00:17:28.260 You know, the big example they gave was Australian beef.

00:17:32.760 You guys buy $26 billion worth of Australian beef and we buy no beef from you.

00:17:36.940 And it's like, well, why would we?

00:17:38.940 You want it?

00:17:39.500 We've got the beef you want.

00:17:40.960 Yeah.

00:17:41.100 We've already got it.

00:17:42.380 We've already got it. 0.91

00:17:44.320 It's like, that's like me like buying, paying for a prostitute and ringing her up the next week and going, I'd like to do it again, but this time you'll pay. 0.94

00:17:52.940 You know what I mean?

00:17:53.560 Like, you've never seen on the bottom of like, you see on the bottom of a menu, it always says Australian Wagyu.

00:17:59.740 You've never seen in an American restaurant, an Australian restaurant, the bottom American beef.

00:18:04.500 Yeah.

00:18:04.940 Like Milwaukee Wagyu or whatever, you know?

00:18:07.240 Yeah, no, it's like, what do you really buy from us?

00:18:10.580 You buy sheepskin, red wine, beef, and gold and diamonds and stuff.

00:18:17.180 It's luxury items.

00:18:18.460 Yeah.

00:18:18.960 You buy luxury items. 0.99

00:18:20.180 It's not like we're fucking manufacturing fucking Happy Meal toys in Australia in factories. 0.99

00:18:25.600 And like, those are jobs that can go to the Americans. 0.99

00:18:28.760 These aren't jobs that can go to the Americans.

00:18:30.960 It's our gold.

00:18:31.680 It's our diamond.

00:18:32.400 It's our, you know what I mean?

00:18:33.260 Like, mate, let's see what's here.

00:18:34.580 Meat and edibles.

00:18:36.200 Curls, ooh. 0.95

00:18:37.760 Pharmaceutical.

00:18:38.300 I didn't know that we did that.

00:18:39.920 That's beautiful.

00:18:41.400 Who's buying electric equipment from Australia?

00:18:44.280 Now, I would advise against that.

00:18:46.020 After what's happened with the helmet.

00:18:49.780 After what's happened with my nephew's helmet. 0.98

00:18:51.840 Don't be buying any Australian Samsung or whatever the fuck we call it.

00:18:55.860 So let's steer clear from their VR stuff. 0.98

00:18:58.100 We don't need any virtual reality from over there.

00:19:00.660 Did they have, so they said that his plane went down and then they don't really know what happened?

00:19:05.980 They said it was pilot error in the end, but they didn't know because the masks invert.

00:19:12.120 But at the end of the day, the weather wasn't right and they shouldn't have been flying.

00:19:16.120 Like, other countries didn't go out and there's meant to be a certain amount of sleep that the soldiers are meant to have before.

00:19:22.280 It was actually turned out to be that my nephew, there was two blokes in the back of the helicopter and the two pilots at the front.

00:19:29.540 And, you know, the first fear you have is, was he experienced enough?

00:19:34.180 Was he the one holding the controls?

00:19:36.660 And he wasn't.

00:19:39.420 It was the more senior pilot that was holding it.

00:19:41.580 My nephew wasn't holding it at the time.

00:19:42.960 But I have no ill will to him, of course.

00:19:45.300 You know, like, it's an accident.

00:19:47.340 But, you know, my family had to listen to The Black Box. 0.99

00:19:50.820 And that took a year before they played that of going in and listening to legal fucking shit going over and over again. 0.99

00:19:57.940 And we'll adjourn in a month and we'll do some more and we'll adjourn in a week. 0.99

00:20:01.640 And they spent all their holiday pay and all their days off having to watch, try to get justice for their son.

00:20:07.580 And then at the end they went, oh, pilot error.

00:20:10.800 You can't sue or anything like that.

00:20:12.580 There'll be no money paid out.

00:20:13.680 And if you want to sue, you've got five days to get it done.

00:20:15.860 Right?

00:20:17.220 That, what was your question again?

00:20:18.700 Sorry.

00:20:19.440 Okay.

00:20:19.920 So, yeah.

00:20:20.280 So, there was another bloke, another bloke actually driving it.

00:20:23.640 But, you know, the Black Box is just really my nephew going, well, it's looking a bit dodgy.

00:20:29.940 Pull up, pull up, pull up. 0.98

00:20:31.280 That's all you really get.

00:20:32.300 You know, you get his final words.

00:20:33.900 Yeah.

00:20:33.960 And that's pretty harrowing to have to listen to the final words of someone.

00:20:37.540 You know, it's not like they're words of wisdom.

00:20:39.860 They're words of fear right at the end there.

00:20:41.820 Has it been, man, God, it's so heartbreaking.

00:20:46.360 Has it been hard to, like, be a supportive brother after that?

00:20:49.680 Like, has that been, like, a challenge or interesting or what does that kind of turn into?

00:20:54.800 It's been.

00:20:55.660 Not hard, but what is that like?

00:20:57.860 Look, there's a field piece I once did on the gym job.

00:21:00.900 That shows me and my brother's relationship because he was a police officer and I did a ride-along in his car.

00:21:07.000 And it was just a lot of me taking the piss out of my brother and he took it in pretty good jest.

00:21:10.940 There's nothing to say when someone's child dies.

00:21:18.160 You can just be there and you can just hug them and stuff.

00:21:20.500 The only thing I could do was get on a plane right away as soon as I knew, you know what I mean?

00:21:24.640 But in some strange way, so I've got two brothers and those two haven't always gotten along.

00:21:31.240 They don't dislike each other.

00:21:33.740 They're just very different blokes.

00:21:34.680 Yeah, they're different for sure.

00:21:35.400 Just different dudes, man. 0.99

00:21:37.160 And it's sort of, it's brought them closer together because when the shit hit the fan, the whole family was there right away. 0.98

00:21:44.740 Everyone was there right away, you know? 0.96

00:21:47.640 I remember going, I got there, I got on the first plane, I got there and then my brother was waiting out the front.

00:21:53.460 My other brother was waiting out the front.

00:21:54.600 He goes, I don't want to go in before you go in.

00:21:57.020 I want to go in with you.

00:21:58.040 I just don't, he didn't know what to do.

00:21:59.940 Yeah.

00:22:00.100 You know, so I was terrible and watching my granddad, you know, I'm glad my mother's dead for it, to be honest, that she didn't have to be around for it.

00:22:08.580 You know, what's the matter of living a few more years to see your grandchild die?

00:22:11.700 You know what I mean?

00:22:12.480 So I know this is meant to be a fun podcast, but I was just like, let's talk, let's talk about Chris Lilley, man.

00:22:18.080 Let's talk about fucking Chris Lilley or my comedy special, Two Lens special coming out.

00:22:22.500 Yeah, we'll get right into it. 0.56

00:22:23.560 But Max Nugent, thank you so much for your service, sir.

00:22:27.620 Yeah.

00:22:27.780 And happy to be thinking of you today.

00:22:29.980 You know what?

00:22:30.440 We'll get a nice photo of him if it's okay with you and your brother.

00:22:32.300 Maybe we can put it in here on the desk or something.

00:22:33.580 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:34.020 Would that be okay?

00:22:34.320 No, that would be wonderful.

00:22:35.540 Thank you.

00:22:35.920 That would mean a lot to me.

00:22:36.760 That'd be cool.

00:22:37.320 It'd be nice to have him in here with that stash too, dude, you know?

00:22:40.760 He was, yeah, he was great.

00:22:42.620 He was, strangely, I remember thinking when he became, when he went to Duntroon, which is like Sandhurst or I don't know what you call it.

00:22:52.340 What's the big military academy in America?

00:22:55.280 West Point.

00:22:55.940 West Point.

00:22:56.960 So Duntroon is the equivalent of West Point.

00:22:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:22:59.860 And he didn't get in the first time and he studied and he worked as a bartender or whatever and then he got in the next time.

00:23:05.900 And I remember thinking like he was just such a committed lad and then he finished really high, top of his grade.

00:23:11.180 And even though he was my nephew, even though I'm over, you know, 20, I was 25 years older than the bloke.

00:23:20.780 Yeah.

00:23:21.500 I looked up to him.

00:23:22.560 Oh.

00:23:23.600 You know what I mean?

00:23:24.240 I looked up to him.

00:23:25.160 I thought he was kind of like a cool guy.

00:23:28.400 And in the same way, like I went and did a gig the other day with the Dodgers and I'm like, why am I gushing over some 25-year-old lads?

00:23:34.840 You know what I mean?

00:23:35.340 Yeah.

00:23:35.400 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:35.780 But a fighter pilot who was my nephew, my blood was fucking doing that. 0.99

00:23:40.340 Yeah. 0.99

00:23:41.180 And I looked up to him.

00:23:43.040 That's cool.

00:23:43.680 Sorry.

00:23:44.560 No, it's admirable.

00:23:45.420 Well, I'll look up to him too.

00:23:51.060 Thank you.

00:23:51.600 You know?

00:23:52.020 Thank you.

00:23:52.520 No, I like getting to think.

00:23:53.480 It's important.

00:23:54.380 Yeah, thank you.

00:23:55.100 It's important to think about people that mean something to you.

00:23:58.080 And I believe that people can feel you thinking about them in the, like I think that it's a real thing.

00:24:03.120 Like, you know, I think it's important that we think about people like that, man. 1.00

00:24:06.860 He fucking was a, he was a fucking boss. 1.00

00:24:09.780 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:24:11.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:24:12.240 And you know what, I take some solace in that he was doing the job that he always wanted to do since he was a little kid.

00:24:19.060 Yeah, he lived his dream.

00:24:19.880 They reckon the last time they saw him, he put his machine gun over his shoulder, his automatic shoulder over it,

00:24:25.500 and he jumped in the helicopter and he gave a thumbs up and a smile.

00:24:28.240 Yeah.

00:24:28.600 And he was over the moon because the other person dropped out and Max was the first person with his hand up.

00:24:34.380 And so, you know, it wasn't a senseless death.

00:24:37.880 There wasn't a, you know, like a car accident, which I'm not going, you know, people have tragedies all their life.

00:24:43.120 At least there was, you know, it wasn't fentanyl.

00:24:46.020 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:46.120 At least it was something, you know, off being a fucking hero, bro. 0.99

00:24:50.140 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:50.740 Yeah.

00:24:51.240 Yeah, dude.

00:24:52.120 It is cool.

00:24:53.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:53.740 You know, that is exciting.

00:24:55.520 Yeah.

00:24:55.860 Yeah.

00:24:56.220 Shout out Max, dude. 1.00

00:24:57.520 Fucking, he's still out there in the air, probably fucking. 1.00

00:24:59.980 Dude, well, look, that's another reason we shouldn't be tariffing these people. 1.00

00:25:03.060 These guys are freaking putting their lives on the line.

00:25:05.040 They've done that for America before.

00:25:06.280 Yeah, well, we always show up for the wars.

00:25:09.460 You're part by.

00:25:10.280 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:11.020 You know what?

00:25:12.080 You kind of need us.

00:25:13.860 America, I know you're saying, oh, who cares?

00:25:16.560 A country of 23 million and another country of 3.5 million in New Zealand.

00:25:21.360 So let's, you know, 26, 27 million people.

00:25:25.660 We're in a country of 330 million, right?

00:25:28.840 What do you care about that?

00:25:30.080 Well, strategically, you kind of need us.

00:25:32.520 We have nuclear submarines that, you know.

00:25:35.920 Really?

00:25:36.520 Yeah, involved with the Americans sitting up at the top of our country because if China 0.99

00:25:42.060 fucking goes, bro. 0.99

00:25:43.340 You're going to have to be there first. 1.00

00:25:45.060 You need us. 1.00

00:25:45.960 Fuck all, yeah. 1.00

00:25:47.240 You need us. 1.00

00:25:47.780 Dude, that's going to be crazy.

00:25:49.080 I would watch that. 0.99

00:25:50.220 If the Chinese got to fight Australia, I would fucking tune in for that. 1.00

00:25:53.560 Do you know? 0.99

00:25:53.960 Okay, so there we go. 0.91

00:25:55.680 Yeah, boy, you're big dogs, huh? 0.99

00:25:58.200 Oh, there's the black one at the top. 0.99

00:26:00.000 You can tell that.

00:26:00.520 We're currently under construction.

00:26:03.840 I don't know how to make it.

00:26:05.380 I assume it's like Ikea or Lego or something like that.

00:26:08.420 You'd be off to go. 0.99

00:26:09.500 Hopefully, it's not the same bloke who made the fucking helmets, you know. 0.99

00:26:13.340 That's a good point, huh? 0.99

00:26:15.340 But, yeah, we're good to go.

00:26:17.440 Oh, that's awesome.

00:26:18.820 Yeah, I think it's – I don't know what they're doing.

00:26:21.340 I don't know what some of the strategies are.

00:26:22.800 And you start to realize that, man, like probably throughout time people have just been like so distant from the people who are running the show, you know.

00:26:31.440 You all end up just being in the mud while they're the ones up there pouring the water into the dirt, you know.

00:26:35.900 Well, you know, we had our own Pearl Harbor. 0.95

00:26:38.100 Up in Darwin, they bombed it.

00:26:39.580 The movie Australia –

00:26:40.560 Gallipoli?

00:26:40.900 No, Gallipoli was when we went and fought the Turks.

00:26:43.260 The Turks. 0.84

00:26:43.860 I shouldn't say the Turks. 1.00

00:26:45.000 What am I fucking – 0.99

00:26:45.780 It's fine. 0.99

00:26:46.920 Yeah, I guess the Turks.

00:26:47.720 The young Turks, Anna Kasparian?

00:26:49.940 But we fought the Turkish and you would have seen the Mel Gibson movie. 1.00

00:26:53.300 That was – but we had an invasion on Australian land.

00:26:56.860 In Darwin, they bombed it.

00:26:58.540 Similar time to what happened with Pearl Harbor, they went after us as well.

00:27:01.980 The Jays there, Japanese? 0.99

00:27:02.820 Yeah, and it hasn't really – it's in the movie Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman.

00:27:07.940 That's what it's about.

00:27:08.960 But I don't know if, you know, you've seen that film.

00:27:11.140 But we had our own thing going on as well. 0.99

00:27:14.840 Fuck yeah. 0.99

00:27:15.420 More than 230 people were killed, civilians and military people with hundreds more wounded. 1.00

00:27:22.800 68 air raids, you know, pretty amazing.

00:27:26.000 And what happened after this – after the attack happened?

00:27:29.620 Well, we just carried on with World War II, didn't we? 0.95

00:27:33.980 Yes, we did. 1.00

00:27:35.740 We beat the fucking Germans, man. 1.00

00:27:37.720 That's what happened. 1.00

00:27:39.340 They had a few wins.

00:27:40.760 We won the war, man.

00:27:41.800 That was it.

00:27:42.140 We won the war.

00:27:43.160 That was it.

00:27:43.580 It's funny.

00:27:44.820 I'm looking at me special at the moment.

00:27:46.320 I wanted to call my special Hitler, right? 0.99

00:27:48.920 I've got three Hitler jokes in it. 0.92

00:27:50.880 That's the only reason I wanted to call Hitler. 0.67

00:27:52.480 I'm not a fan of Hitler.

00:27:53.720 I'm not pro-Hitler.

00:27:55.000 I've just got three.

00:27:56.040 And I was thinking to myself, because everything's about algorithm, right?

00:27:59.220 How's the algorithm?

00:28:00.140 Who gets searched more than Hitler?

00:28:03.400 Yeah.

00:28:03.760 Who gets – I type his name into Netflix all the time if I'm bored and I want to watch a documentary.

00:28:08.880 Oh, yeah.

00:28:09.280 I don't put like a heart emoji next to it.

00:28:12.220 I just – and I thought that could get a few clicks if I call the thing Hitler.

00:28:16.660 Anyway, suffice to say, I had some pushback from Netflix.

00:28:19.900 Netflix was like, oh, it won't be an aggressive font.

00:28:23.200 Yeah.

00:28:23.780 It'll be a soft font.

00:28:26.500 Like Ariel or something.

00:28:28.060 Yeah.

00:28:28.340 And I – so I wanted to call it Hitler. 0.88

00:28:32.360 In the end, I landed on two-limb policy, which I'm very happy with in the name.

00:28:35.960 But I just got back all the rankings of, you know, where it is in the top ten.

00:28:41.400 I don't know if it's because I do the Hitler jokes, but out of all of Europe, I'm about to tour Europe right now.

00:28:46.860 I'm about to a full year tour.

00:28:48.000 And I sell really well in Germany.

00:28:49.980 But for some reason, Germany and Austria, I haven't gotten in the top ten. 0.97

00:28:53.260 I don't know if there's some shit where they're moving. 0.98

00:28:56.240 Everywhere around – Poland, I'm crushing. 1.00

00:28:58.600 But Hitler's their guy. 0.94

00:28:59.840 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:00.520 But they're not proud of it.

00:29:02.460 No.

00:29:02.940 Some of them are.

00:29:03.840 They're not proud.

00:29:04.640 Two-limb policy right there.

00:29:06.280 There we are.

00:29:07.220 Two-limb policy.

00:29:08.300 Now, the two-limb policy stands for after I did my – 0.58

00:29:11.760 I know you meet with the veterans after your show, right?

00:29:14.020 I've heard about this.

00:29:15.120 I do.

00:29:15.500 I meet with disabled people.

00:29:16.800 You meet with disabled folks after your show?

00:29:18.780 Yeah, yeah.

00:29:19.140 So after my shows, I take photographs with disabled people.

00:29:22.260 But people start – I did a sitcom many years ago that had disabled actors

00:29:25.680 and then I sort of became a thing.

00:29:27.700 And I used to actually just sort of go get the security to go

00:29:30.740 and sort of whisper to the wheelchair seats and go,

00:29:34.080 here's a thing, come back afterwards.

00:29:35.900 Come on around, yeah.

00:29:36.980 But people started finding out about that.

00:29:38.600 And people would write to me and go, hey, I'm coming to see you perform this week

00:29:42.420 and I'm bringing my uncle.

00:29:43.380 He's disabled. 0.58

00:29:44.280 Can we come backstage?

00:29:45.740 And you can't write back how disabled.

00:29:48.740 You know what I mean?

00:29:49.560 And you can't ask for a photo. 0.99

00:29:51.780 You just got to go – because I can't have fucking dyslexics showing up, right? 0.97

00:29:56.520 There needs to be – there needs to be – 0.97

00:29:58.500 So as I say in the special, I always handle the classics,

00:30:01.540 deaf, blind wheelchair.

00:30:03.980 And also you can't just be like slightly deaf.

00:30:06.320 You've got to have a dog or a cane. 0.58

00:30:07.780 You've got to be a beast master.

00:30:08.560 And if you're deaf, you've got to have the voice, right? 0.99

00:30:10.520 There's no better way to say it.

00:30:12.320 Yeah, I don't like those pseudo-blind people like I'm colorblind or whatever. 1.00

00:30:15.960 80% blind or whatever.

00:30:17.800 Yeah, like I'm colorblind but I still say the N-word.

00:30:19.980 I'm like, what are you doing?

00:30:22.140 You've got to choose a path.

00:30:23.840 So if you aren't one of the classics, I have a two-limb policy. 1.00

00:30:29.500 So you can't just be like a fat fuck who lost your foot to diabetes. 1.00

00:30:32.420 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:32.720 You know what I mean?

00:30:33.140 That doesn't get you backstage because you had too much candy. 1.00

00:30:35.920 That's crazy that people are faking that kind of shit. 0.99

00:30:37.700 No, no one's faking it but I just decided what was my parameters. 1.00

00:30:40.980 Got it.

00:30:41.480 No one was faking.

00:30:42.340 I never had anyone coming back.

00:30:43.740 I think I was letting the autistic back and some of them were over-autism-ing. 1.00

00:30:48.620 Oh, yeah.

00:30:49.220 You know what I mean?

00:30:51.020 And I was like, I thought, I don't think this is your real self.

00:30:54.800 I think you're playing this up for the cameras a little bit.

00:30:58.580 But I do count autism as one limb.

00:31:01.300 Okay.

00:31:01.620 So if you have a flamidamide arm and autism, you're beautiful.

00:31:06.740 You're in.

00:31:07.220 Lazy eye, autism.

00:31:09.240 Here we go.

00:31:09.840 What about missing an ear?

00:31:11.460 Yeah.

00:31:11.740 Oh, yeah.

00:31:12.160 I do missing an ear all day.

00:31:13.980 Yeah.

00:31:14.280 Like Mark Chopper Reed.

00:31:15.540 Oh, he has one.

00:31:16.560 He had one.

00:31:17.780 You know that moment when you've left your favorite sunglasses at the beach or you gave

00:31:22.940 them to a child or something and he's gone.

00:31:27.260 You left them on the top of the car.

00:31:28.820 You left them on a gas station, gas pump three states away.

00:31:32.520 You know it.

00:31:34.280 God, that's how I feel.

00:31:35.740 But you don't have to fear anymore because Shady Ray's is here and they're ready to help.

00:31:42.120 Shady Ray's sunglasses changed the game for me.

00:31:45.000 They're made for real life.

00:31:46.480 They're durable.

00:31:47.240 They're polarized.

00:31:48.140 They're not stupidly expensive. 0.69

00:31:51.960 But here's the wild part.

00:31:53.200 If you lose them or if you break them, even on day one, Shady Ray's will send you a brand

00:31:59.860 new pair.

00:32:00.540 No guilt trip, just replacements.

00:32:04.200 So now I actually wear my sunglasses without fear on hikes, at concerts, on the boat, wherever,

00:32:11.440 skydiving, hiding from people.

00:32:13.740 I don't care.

00:32:14.800 I'll have them on.

00:32:16.100 Shady Ray's.

00:32:16.860 It's the eyewear that has your back.

00:32:19.520 So we've teamed up with Shady Ray's to bring you an exclusive offer.

00:32:23.200 Head to ShadyRay's.com and use code Theo for 35% off polarized sunglasses.

00:32:30.920 Try for yourself the Shades rated five stars by over 300,000 people.

00:32:36.220 ShadyRay's.com, code Theo.

00:32:38.800 What happens when your health becomes the punchline?

00:32:42.660 From seed oils to stress, toxins to pollutants, the modern world is screwing with our health

00:32:49.100 at the cellular level, leading to exhaustion, brain fog, digestive issues, and more.

00:32:55.880 But here's the thing. 0.91

00:32:57.040 You don't have to settle for feeling like garbage 24-7.

00:33:00.940 Armra Colostrum is nature's original health hack, packed with over 400 bioactive nutrients

00:33:07.800 that fortify gut integrity, strengthen immunity, revitalize hair growth, fuel stamina, elevate

00:33:15.100 focus, and help you function like a human again.

00:33:19.340 And I'm on it.

00:33:20.040 I take it probably five, six times a week.

00:33:23.660 I'm on it.

00:33:24.940 It's simple.

00:33:25.900 I make my smoothie.

00:33:26.800 I crack open my Armra packet.

00:33:28.560 Bam.

00:33:29.620 And I'm colostrum, Tommy.

00:33:31.500 One of the positive effects of Armra for me has been I feel just more satiated.

00:33:37.740 My system feels more satiated.

00:33:39.800 I don't feel like as rattly.

00:33:41.480 I don't feel as frenetic.

00:33:42.800 And for me, that's good.

00:33:46.400 And for you, we've worked out a special offer for our audience.

00:33:51.080 You can receive 15% off your first order.

00:33:54.040 Go to tryarmra.com slash Theo or enter Theo to get 15% off your first order, baby.

00:34:01.480 That's T-R-Y-A-R-M-R-A dot com slash T-H-E-O.

00:34:08.700 You ever seen the movie Chopper?

00:34:12.300 I haven't.

00:34:13.280 This is my gift to you.

00:34:15.020 Go see the movie.

00:34:15.920 That's Eric Banner's first dramatic role, right?

00:34:18.320 Before that, Eric Banner, you know the actor Eric Banner?

00:34:20.960 Eric Banner, yeah.

00:34:21.520 Eric Banner was a stand-up comedian.

00:34:23.960 Wow.

00:34:25.020 You'd seen him perform before?

00:34:26.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:26.580 He was famous in Australia. 1.00

00:34:28.080 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:34:28.700 He was doing – he did characters. 1.00

00:34:31.340 He used to do impersonations and all that type of stuff.

00:34:33.680 He even had a show called the Eric Banner Show where he played – now, that's the real

00:34:37.160 Chopper Reed, right?

00:34:38.360 So the one up in the top corner there, the one next to him is the real guy.

00:34:42.480 Chopper.

00:34:42.640 Now, if you look at him, he doesn't have ears.

00:34:44.660 Oh, yeah.

00:34:45.720 Right?

00:34:45.860 He's got some kind of drawn on.

00:34:47.160 Right.

00:34:47.480 So what happened was he killed a whole lot of people.

00:34:50.060 Then he went in prison.

00:34:50.920 Then there was a mark on him where there were like – I'm just saying an arbitrary number –

00:34:54.940 $50,000 to kill Mark Reed, right?

00:34:57.940 And so he said, I need to be moved out of the cell block.

00:35:00.380 I can't be in this cell block.

00:35:01.520 Everyone's trying to kill me. 0.89

00:35:02.260 They're trying to kill me. 1.00

00:35:03.020 They're killing me.

00:35:03.480 And the governor's like, I can't help you, Mark.

00:35:05.400 Yeah, man.

00:35:06.420 Seat's taken.

00:35:07.320 Yeah.

00:35:08.340 Oh.

00:35:09.760 Why did he take his ears off so he didn't want to hear about it?

00:35:11.400 Because he has to go into the hospital in the infirmary or they'll move him or something

00:35:15.100 like that for his own safety.

00:35:16.640 He got his ears cut off. 1.00

00:35:17.960 He got another bloke to do it with a razor and fucking peel it off. 0.99

00:35:21.940 It's a banger of a movie. 0.99

00:35:23.960 Now, when you see the movie, right?

00:35:26.840 So the movie is – Eric Banner is unbelievable.

00:35:30.460 It's what made Eric Banner a star.

00:35:31.920 He was just a stand-up comic in Australia who'd been in a little movie called The Castle,

00:35:35.500 which is a great comedy.

00:35:36.740 That's another podcast.

00:35:38.340 And then Eric Banner becomes Chopper and does this thing and he gains tons of weight.

00:35:44.080 It's really fat for it and all that type of stuff.

00:35:45.760 And then his next movie, I believe, is The Hulk or Black Hawk Down. 0.96

00:35:48.900 And then he's in fucking Troy with – you know what I mean?

00:35:52.540 Like it's kind of – yeah, so Chopper, Black Hawk Down, another Australian movie. 0.99

00:35:56.580 Then he's the fucking Hulk. 0.99

00:35:58.040 And then he's with bloody Brad Pitt. 0.99

00:36:01.000 Oh, with the good-looking people.

00:36:02.840 Yeah.

00:36:02.940 When they put you with the good-looking people, you're doing good.

00:36:05.080 Yeah, Munich.

00:36:06.100 That's Steven Spielberg, Munich.

00:36:08.460 Like it went from zero to 100 very quick.

00:36:11.880 Wow.

00:36:12.500 You know, like – and he was, as I said, just a stand-up comedian.

00:36:15.580 And he still lives in Australia.

00:36:16.980 He still lives in Australia. 1.00

00:36:18.200 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:36:18.580 Still lives in Australia. 1.00

00:36:19.840 And I don't think he does stand-up anymore.

00:36:22.240 I've spoken to him online a couple of times as one Australian to another type of thing.

00:36:27.860 I think he one time saw one of my specials and was like, I enjoyed it.

00:36:32.080 Anyway, that's the only chat I've had.

00:36:34.300 So cool, though.

00:36:35.220 But this is the weird thing.

00:36:36.340 There's like people you like. 1.00

00:36:37.480 You get to speak to fucking Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders. 0.99

00:36:41.900 You get to meet both sides of the whole world. 1.00

00:36:44.960 Plus you get to interview whoever the fuck –

00:36:46.880 when you get to a certain level of fame, there's people you can just sort of reach out to and go, hey, 0.96

00:36:52.160 and then just see if something comes back.

00:36:54.860 Like so at the moment I'm wearing my favorite entertainer in the world.

00:36:58.200 And I wore this T-shirt because you're the only interview I've ever found of Chris Lilley.

00:37:03.120 Dude, well, he – first of all, yeah, I remember asking you last time that we talked if you had met him and you hadn't yet.

00:37:11.400 No, still haven't.

00:37:12.360 I've only spoken to him online.

00:37:13.660 I've never heard his voice.

00:37:15.700 He once came to one of my shows and he wrote, oh, I was just at your show, really funny, good stuff or whatever.

00:37:20.900 But he didn't come backstage.

00:37:21.840 Oh, he's kind of – he's kind of like a – he's a little bit of like a missing person kind of.

00:37:27.720 He's an introvert but he's a genius.

00:37:29.900 Oh, he's magical.

00:37:30.840 He's a genius.

00:37:31.820 His TV shows – it was like I wanted – I started showing his shows to my son when he was 11.

00:37:36.740 He's a magic baby.

00:37:37.680 And then just to see what he – if he went, this is brilliant, I knew that my son actually knew comedy.

00:37:43.900 And was going to be a good person.

00:37:45.260 He knew what comedy was.

00:37:46.520 And then – or if he went, oh, I don't really get it.

00:37:49.240 This is boring or whatever.

00:37:50.100 What's a guy – because it's one guy playing all the different characters and all that sort of stuff.

00:37:54.680 And he got canceled for the wrong reasons.

00:37:56.940 Summer Heights High, yeah, it was one of the best shows ever, first of all.

00:37:59.040 Summer Heights High is unbelievable.

00:38:00.640 Jermaine Private School.

00:38:01.520 Now he's got a podcast of Mr. G, who's my favorite character.

00:38:05.340 Oh, yeah.

00:38:06.800 But he's –

00:38:07.700 Bad habit for drugs.

00:38:08.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

00:38:09.660 She's a naughty girl with a bad habit. 0.98

00:38:13.220 Bad habit for drugs. 0.98

00:38:16.300 Ecstasy.

00:38:17.920 Ecstasy. 1.00

00:38:19.100 Yeah, he's the fucking – he is – I'm going to – for Australia, right? 1.00

00:38:25.660 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:26.140 I'm going to say he's the greatest Australian entertainer we've ever had.

00:38:29.000 I'm including Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe. 0.99

00:38:32.720 I'm including fucking ACDC, man. 0.99

00:38:35.060 Right? 0.99

00:38:35.760 Right?

00:38:35.980 And these are – all those people I love.

00:38:38.560 Oh, yeah.

00:38:39.020 I'm very proud to say from Australia.

00:38:41.320 Volkanovski also.

00:38:42.020 If he's Volkanovski.

00:38:43.900 Alexander Volkanovski.

00:38:45.500 Is he New Zealand?

00:38:46.120 He's Australian.

00:38:47.140 Australian.

00:38:47.960 I haven't lived there for 20 years.

00:38:49.720 Am I about to be in trouble?

00:38:50.880 He's a UFC guy.

00:38:51.460 No.

00:38:51.780 Oh, no.

00:38:52.120 I don't follow the UFC.

00:38:52.920 Oh, you don't.

00:38:53.280 That's good then.

00:38:53.700 No, no, no.

00:38:54.120 He's a class actor.

00:38:55.100 I don't – no, no.

00:38:56.720 Athletes – athletes is a different thing.

00:38:58.360 Okay, athletes excluded.

00:38:59.440 I'm talking about –

00:39:00.560 No, we've had some great athletes, man.

00:39:02.640 Do you know that –

00:39:05.440 Ben Simmons was kind of mid.

00:39:07.140 Yeah, but three-time All-Star.

00:39:09.520 Facts.

00:39:10.080 Three-time All-Star.

00:39:10.820 Never mind.

00:39:11.540 Sorry, Ben.

00:39:12.160 All right, all right.

00:39:12.840 Luke Longley played in the greatest team of all time, was the first Australian in the

00:39:17.480 NBA.

00:39:18.300 When the Dream Team went to play fucking the rest of the world in Barcelona, there was

00:39:23.880 only six players, international players that were in the NBA.

00:39:27.260 Six.

00:39:27.680 And now there was like 60 or 70 in this last time.

00:39:29.920 The Australians actually had like a proper team. 1.00

00:39:33.240 But Luke Longley was just a big tall cunt from fucking Fremantle, Perth, brother. 1.00

00:39:37.300 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:37.900 Right? 0.99

00:39:38.300 And then he's playing with Michael Jordan, and he was the only cunt out there with an 1.00

00:39:41.640 accent that wasn't American or Eastern European. 0.98

00:39:44.600 Yeah.

00:39:45.000 Right?

00:39:45.620 Like, that was pretty – now you've got like Josh Giddey, and you've got Andrew Bogart

00:39:49.620 played before.

00:39:50.700 You've got Daniel Dyson just got the block record, the steel record.

00:39:55.140 Yeah, Zorvidas Zobonis.

00:39:57.160 What's that guy's name?

00:39:58.580 That big guy, Bulgan, Durgan, Bogonder.

00:40:02.520 I don't know, Boyanovich, but I think he's saying Australians.

00:40:04.760 Oh, Australians. 1.00

00:40:05.600 They were all Australians.

00:40:06.980 Oh, I see what you're saying.

00:40:07.740 Our Olympic team is all NBA players.

00:40:10.900 Yeah.

00:40:11.580 Class.

00:40:12.040 I don't understand why Britain hasn't gotten into basketball.

00:40:15.620 Yeah.

00:40:16.100 Okay.

00:40:16.920 How do I say this?

00:40:18.040 They've got tall – they've got black people.

00:40:20.180 They've got loads of them, right? 1.00

00:40:21.460 They've got – I think it's a place that it rains every fucking day. 0.99

00:40:26.320 Yeah. 0.98

00:40:27.120 It rains every day, and you – and in a confined space, and you haven't picked up

00:40:32.220 basketball. 0.98

00:40:34.780 They're just trying to be fucking difficult. 0.98

00:40:36.920 Yeah, that's what they're trying to be. 0.98

00:40:38.140 They're too fucking – you're like, oh, we don't know. 1.00

00:40:41.120 Maybe they don't want a bunch of black guys just hanging out in the park or 1.00

00:40:44.060 something. 0.98

00:40:44.380 I don't know what they're –

00:40:45.380 We don't need the park.

00:40:46.320 Indoor basketball courts.

00:40:47.240 Just get it made.

00:40:48.320 But with Travis Bazzana, the number one major league pick last year in the draft

00:40:53.140 is from Hornsby, born in the same hospital as me, bro. 0.99

00:40:57.340 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:40:57.900 And this guy, this guy, fucking – this is just a coincidence. 1.00

00:41:01.200 Me and Chris Lilley, I think the same age, give or take a year, we're the same age. 0.99

00:41:06.720 He went to the private school, I believe, up the road from me, and I went to the

00:41:10.140 public school up the road from me, but we grew up in the same bit of the northern

00:41:13.320 suburbs of Sydney.

00:41:14.660 Do you remember seeing him as a kid?

00:41:15.840 No, I've never met him, but it's just – there's every chance that me and him

00:41:21.240 were at the same party or something like that.

00:41:23.720 Every fucking chance is kids that we're at the same party, but I was – it's weird 0.94

00:41:28.580 when you get that, where you go, oh, wow, he grew up near me. 0.98

00:41:32.300 Yeah. 0.96

00:41:34.680 I fucking – I can't champion Chris Lilley enough, man. 0.98

00:41:38.860 Oh, dude, I saw him in Byron Bay, right? 0.99

00:41:43.520 Yeah.

00:41:43.740 Right outside of Sydney.

00:41:46.360 Right up Byron Bay.

00:41:47.660 Oh, no, no.

00:41:48.360 I saw him in –

00:41:49.140 Up in Queensland.

00:41:49.940 In Bondi Beach.

00:41:51.120 Bondi Beach is in Sydney, but it's the – yes, the most famous beach in Australia, yes.

00:41:56.120 Oh, beautiful over there. 0.99

00:41:57.980 Even the fucking men's is good looking. 0.99

00:42:01.180 Were you doing the voice then? 0.99

00:42:02.680 Was that –

00:42:03.140 I don't know what I was doing.

00:42:04.260 I just didn't want to seem like a gay guy. 1.00

00:42:05.620 Beautiful over there.

00:42:05.960 Even the men's is good looking.

00:42:07.620 Even – yeah, it's all right.

00:42:08.800 But I remember he came – we met up for lunch, and I had some other people that I was – like, other comedians and stuff, and I was like, well, I – you know, he kind of keeps to himself, so I don't know if I want to have a bunch of people here when he shows up.

00:42:20.100 So, you know, why don't you guys take a walk or whatever?

00:42:22.620 So I walked outside with them, and then when I came back in, he was sitting just, like, facing the water, like, out on this balcony.

00:42:27.320 And then I just went and sat by him, and we just sat and talked.

00:42:31.760 He had on, like, this hat.

00:42:33.300 I'll include some photos from him and stuff, but it was just awesome.

00:42:36.160 Just, like – yeah, it's almost like meeting with, like, a mythical creature kind of in a way.

00:42:40.280 He's so special.

00:42:41.400 Yeah, he's as gifted a human being that he's ever been.

00:42:44.980 To be able to do all that – the bravest part is just to be able to take on all those characters at once, I think, and then just put yourself out there that much.

00:42:53.080 Because you're not saying that, hey, my character's going to be good.

00:42:55.180 You're going to say – you're saying five of my characters are going to be good.

00:42:57.900 Your brain leaves you, and you believe that he's a 16-year-old girl.

00:43:02.600 Yeah. 0.86

00:43:03.160 Just after a little while, you go – now, it's one thing for him to be a gay high school drama teacher, right? 0.99

00:43:09.800 That's just a wig. 0.77

00:43:10.780 He's still a guy.

00:43:11.400 But then when you watch Jermay, and you're like – and then, like – and also this whole thing that's like, oh, he did blackface, or he did this, he did that, right? 0.61

00:43:21.080 Look at him.

00:43:21.640 And he – look, he's like a little waller.

00:43:25.800 But then to do Jonah from Tonga, and there's real genuine moments of heart. 1.00

00:43:33.440 There's times you can cry watching Jonah that you feel for him so much, and that you understand why he's a little shit. 0.99

00:43:40.340 It's not just a one-dimensional, this kid's a shit-stirring troublemaker. 1.00

00:43:44.260 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:44.480 And I think that's what people ask. 0.99

00:43:45.700 They say, oh, he's taking the piss out of Tongans. 0.98

00:43:47.760 And it's like, yeah, I guess he is, but it's so much more than that. 1.00

00:43:51.560 Even Tongans fucking loved it. 0.97

00:43:52.880 Real Tongans loved it. 1.00

00:43:53.660 The only people that don't like shit are people that don't own it who want to write articles about it. 0.99

00:43:58.760 My son went out for Halloween this year as Jonah from Tonga. 1.00

00:44:01.420 Didn't do anything with the skin, just the shirt and the tie.

00:44:05.420 Dude, I say go a nice polish. 1.00

00:44:06.980 Don't do anything heavy, you know what I'm saying?

00:44:08.860 Don't do anything super close to the equator.

00:44:10.940 But I would go with like, you know, yeah, a good bronzer, I think.

00:44:14.200 Well, I don't think he was going to put that much effort in.

00:44:16.600 I think laziness stopped him from being cancelled. 1.00

00:44:20.380 He's like, stop looking at my dick, mom. 1.00

00:44:22.660 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:44:22.960 Oh, no.

00:44:23.760 Oh, no, don't do that.

00:44:24.880 What are you doing that for? 1.00

00:44:25.880 Stop looking at my dick, miss. 1.00

00:44:27.640 Oh, miss. 1.00

00:44:28.420 Yeah, I'll miss.

00:44:29.620 Oh, the best.

00:44:30.380 And then when they start break dancing and then that other kid comes in and is a better break dancer.

00:44:34.580 I would argue that Chris Lilley is a better break dancer than Ray Gunn, the Australian lady who entered the Olympics. 0.99

00:44:41.920 Fuck yeah. 0.99

00:44:42.800 And she put out a bet. 1.00

00:44:44.700 Did you know about the bet she put out?

00:44:46.220 She goes, oh, you think you're a better dancer than me? 1.00

00:44:48.160 And she cracks her knuckles and goes, how about, I think it was like five grand or something.

00:44:51.840 You can find the clip where Ray Gunn puts it.

00:44:54.480 There she is, old Ray Gunn. 1.00

00:44:55.900 She's dressed like she's from the local Bolo, which is Lawn Bowls.

00:44:59.680 And she just, everyone else is wearing street crates. 0.67

00:45:02.000 Then she does the kangaroo.

00:45:03.740 But if you can find the clip of where she challenges people, Ray Gunn challenges people.

00:45:11.760 And wasn't there like a ledge, like a big like-

00:45:14.340 That's it there.

00:45:15.000 That's it there.

00:45:15.660 $10,000 prize.

00:45:17.200 She put out $10,000 prize, if you can dance better than Ray Gunn.

00:45:22.120 Surely someone's, I can't dance better than Ray Gunn. 1.00

00:45:24.940 Yeah, who won that shit? 0.99

00:45:27.920 But she was a middle class woman, from a middle class white woman who had studied hip hop at university. 1.00

00:45:35.300 And had a degree in it.

00:45:36.700 And then like Australia was just like, oh, the girl's got a degree. 0.99

00:45:40.000 It must be the one.

00:45:41.280 I don't think our Olympic panel, right, are savvy with the hip hop world and the dancing, right?

00:45:51.220 It's not to say there aren't kids who are doing dancing in the street and stuff in Australia that can't do it.

00:45:55.960 We're a very multicultural country. 0.95

00:45:57.680 Without a doubt, there are people who can fucking break dance in Australia. 0.96

00:46:00.500 I've seen them do it. 0.98

00:46:01.820 Class, yeah.

00:46:02.540 But the people who actually decided, there's a lovely young girl, Rachel Gunn.

00:46:09.160 We're going to call her Ray Gunn.

00:46:10.440 Bit of fun.

00:46:12.420 Because I was in Bondi when the Olympics were on and my phone lit up.

00:46:19.500 Just lit up with all these people going, oh, you've got to watch it.

00:46:24.160 Are you watching the TV?

00:46:25.540 And it was every American comic who knew me was just like.

00:46:29.240 Kind of relate to you.

00:46:30.000 No, no, they were trying to take the piss like, oh, your people are on the TV right now. 0.95

00:46:35.080 Because that's the thing about, you know, being a white Australian, we're not inherently cool. 0.95

00:46:39.700 You know what I mean? 0.97

00:46:40.340 And so then when Ray Gunn comes, that doesn't fucking help our cause. 0.97

00:46:43.400 Yeah, that was bad. 0.97

00:46:44.060 It's like watching 9-11 it was.

00:46:45.480 Yeah.

00:46:46.600 For a Muslim.

00:46:47.880 You know when a Muslim watches 9-11 and they think, oh, this will make my life harder?

00:46:51.020 Yeah.

00:46:51.240 That's what that was.

00:46:52.240 Yeah, that was it, dude.

00:46:54.280 Ray Gunn was the Australian 9-11 kind of.

00:46:56.500 Australian 9-11.

00:46:56.680 Oh, Christ, God. 0.98

00:46:57.980 But the balls on her just to walk out of the Olympics and have a go. 1.00

00:47:02.360 It was the only athlete that Snoop Dogg who, you remember how Snoop Dogg was just at the 0.94

00:47:06.640 Olympics just like wearing the equestrian outfit?

00:47:10.540 Well, so was Leslie Jones.

00:47:11.560 Didn't they just have her?

00:47:12.260 Like sometimes they started hiring more celebrities to just be there.

00:47:15.220 Yeah, just to be there and just show up at events.

00:47:17.320 Yeah.

00:47:17.500 I pitched a show to Australian TV that said, because the Olympics are coming out and I

00:47:22.440 don't know if this show will ever go ahead, but I've pitched it to Australian telly.

00:47:25.680 I said, how about you get me interviewing people, the athletes, the Australian athletes.

00:47:30.720 I'm already here.

00:47:31.640 Yeah.

00:47:31.860 You don't have to bring anyone out.

00:47:33.120 I'll do like a little comedy show that's like after the proper show.

00:47:36.120 So after you watch all the highlights, we can do like a little comedy tonight show where

00:47:40.120 we just do the Olympics and make it a two run thing. 0.98

00:47:43.000 So make it 10 episodes out the door, fucking done. 0.98

00:47:47.500 Hopefully I can do it, brother. 0.99

00:47:48.700 I reckon that would be a bit of fun.

00:47:49.800 That'd be sick. 0.91

00:47:50.460 And the Olympics are going to be in Australia?

00:47:52.220 No, here.

00:47:53.100 Oh, in the US?

00:47:53.900 LA. 1.00

00:47:54.460 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:47:54.980 Here, here. 1.00

00:47:56.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:47:56.820 You don't know that the next Olympics are here? 1.00

00:47:58.620 Nuh-uh.

00:47:59.300 Oh, the traffic's going to get worse.

00:48:00.740 Oh, it's going to be bad.

00:48:01.800 Oh, it's going to be bad.

00:48:02.620 You'll probably, I wonder if to have one of those, I mean.

00:48:04.860 And you've got the World Cup.

00:48:06.260 Oh, yeah.

00:48:06.960 That's great.

00:48:07.520 Everything's going on.

00:48:08.680 Do you know the Olympics are the reason you have palm trees?

00:48:12.220 Uh-uh.

00:48:13.020 I used to do a podcast called, I don't know about that, right, where I used to learn about

00:48:17.320 a new thing.

00:48:18.000 And one of the things was the Olympics.

00:48:20.680 And I was learning, I do a podcast at this moment with Amos Gill.

00:48:23.760 You're friends with Amos?

00:48:24.500 You know Amos?

00:48:24.980 He's an Australian comic.

00:48:25.880 Very, very good comic.

00:48:26.900 Me and him do a podcast at this moment.

00:48:28.880 So follow my podcast.

00:48:30.540 But palm trees.

00:48:33.840 There he is, Amos, yeah.

00:48:34.700 There was no palm trees in LA.

00:48:37.820 They're not indigenous to LA.

00:48:39.840 And then when you had your first Olympics, and I don't know what year, they planted all

00:48:44.240 those ones along Beverly Hills just to spruce the place up a bit because visitors were coming.

00:48:49.360 How about we plant some palm trees?

00:48:51.400 They grow by themselves. 0.98

00:48:52.580 They take very little fucking work, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, right? 0.99

00:48:56.160 Yeah. 0.99

00:48:56.680 See, I'm not lying.

00:48:57.660 The internet's back. 0.99

00:48:58.980 I like how you've got a guy who's always checking if I'm full of shit. 0.99

00:49:02.660 Every time he's, oh, no, no, he said it, right? 0.99

00:49:05.320 And so they planted 25,000 to 40,000.

00:49:09.000 And that was 1932, right?

00:49:12.900 And at each game since then, when you've had the Olympics since then, you've planted more

00:49:18.720 palm trees.

00:49:19.440 So the reason that LA looks like LA, like what it's synonymous with, if you were to do a

00:49:24.400 silhouette of LA.

00:49:26.020 Palms right there.

00:49:26.540 Palm trees.

00:49:27.400 It's kind of the only thing in the silhouette, really.

00:49:29.140 Yeah.

00:49:29.300 A couple of buildings that you, undescriptive buildings.

00:49:31.580 Yeah.

00:49:32.180 Palm trees.

00:49:33.380 Dodger Stadium.

00:49:34.200 Yeah.

00:49:34.580 Out the door.

00:49:35.200 Beverly Hilton.

00:49:36.220 Yeah.

00:49:36.440 Yeah.

00:49:36.580 The Beverly Hills Hotel.

00:49:37.580 I think there's palm trees in their emblem, probably.

00:49:39.480 There's palm trees everywhere.

00:49:40.700 With that one, they're the wallpapers or palm trees, but.

00:49:43.340 Yeah.

00:49:43.520 Even if you're like, you see people's videos or movies, every time you see the palm trees,

00:49:47.380 you see it.

00:49:48.100 It might be Beverly.

00:49:48.880 That's a lovely hotel.

00:49:50.140 Beverly Hilton.

00:49:50.440 That is a nice place, man.

00:49:51.800 It is nice over there.

00:49:53.460 Yeah.

00:49:54.040 I didn't know that at all, man.

00:49:56.160 I love the fact that Australia has so many amazing people, though, man.

00:50:01.440 That's just one thing that I loved about it. 1.00

00:50:03.140 Just fucking. 1.00

00:50:03.820 Well. 1.00

00:50:04.380 And it's peaceful, man.

00:50:05.780 It's safe, dude.

00:50:06.600 That was one thing.

00:50:07.260 I realized you're an Australian.

00:50:08.340 It is safe.

00:50:08.920 It's safe.

00:50:09.820 It is safe.

00:50:10.560 You're like, oh, this is nice.

00:50:12.400 But, you know, look, I don't want your audience turning on me.

00:50:14.860 I'm the gun control guy.

00:50:16.420 You know what I mean?

00:50:17.080 And I understand.

00:50:18.040 I've lived in America long enough.

00:50:20.160 It's, yeah, Australia is a very safe place, but not without, you know what they're having

00:50:24.260 at the moment?

00:50:25.320 They're having a, you know how, like, they're turning your guns?

00:50:28.660 Mm-hmm.

00:50:29.200 They're having machete bins.

00:50:30.900 Nuh-uh.

00:50:31.620 In Australia, machete bins.

00:50:33.760 This is a brand new thing.

00:50:35.760 People having issues with machetes?

00:50:38.740 Disposable bins.

00:50:40.100 Right?

00:50:41.000 Let me see it right here.

00:50:42.240 An Australian state has asked citizens to surrender machetes at disposal bins ahead of a statewide

00:50:47.040 ban on the weapons aimed at combating knife crime.

00:50:49.740 Yeah.

00:50:50.140 Australia's state of Victoria on Thursday announced that more than 40 machete disposal bins will

00:50:53.880 be available at police stations across the state to allow citizens to safely get rid of

00:50:59.000 the weapons without a penalty before September 1st ban.

00:51:01.880 Wow.

00:51:02.100 They reckon people are just throwing food and stuff in there, though.

00:51:05.160 Oh, yeah.

00:51:06.640 Just recyclables?

00:51:07.900 I just, yeah, just throw in an arm just from your last murder.

00:51:12.100 And you go, oh, I just, I'll throw the machete in as well.

00:51:14.740 Look at this fine right here.

00:51:15.740 Those who did not surrender their machetes during the amnesty period may face imprisonment

00:51:19.480 of up to two years or a fine of more than 47,000 Australian.

00:51:23.700 Wow.

00:51:24.320 37,000 American.

00:51:25.960 Yeah.

00:51:26.220 Look, I, look, there is a little bit more nanny state in Australia. 1.00

00:51:30.080 We do have, there's more speed cameras.

00:51:33.000 You notice it when you go back.

00:51:34.900 Um, uh, yeah, it's a little strict though.

00:51:38.480 They do a thing in Australia that I find weird around long weekends.

00:51:43.640 So Easter, for example, yeah, long weekend, um, they will have the death toll on the TV.

00:51:50.620 Oh, really?

00:51:51.260 Yeah.

00:51:51.620 Where they talk about how many car accidents and how many people have died during this long

00:51:56.460 weekend from drink driving or from speeding or whatever.

00:51:59.200 And they'll go by all the states, you know, five states.

00:52:02.760 See who has the most?

00:52:03.680 Five states.

00:52:03.980 Yeah.

00:52:04.180 See who's, uh, bloody Western Australia is doing terrible this year with, with five deaths

00:52:11.120 on the death toll.

00:52:12.660 We also have four deaths in Queensland.

00:52:15.060 They're not doing well.

00:52:15.700 Oh, Victoria, one death.

00:52:17.820 Well done.

00:52:18.980 Boo.

00:52:19.600 Somebody yells boo behind a camera.

00:52:22.000 But imagine doing that in America.

00:52:24.040 Imagine like a Labor Day weekend.

00:52:26.080 We're going to count up all the deaths that are happening on the highways and then we're

00:52:30.520 going to report it and we're going to shame everyone.

00:52:33.000 Also long weekend, they do double demerits.

00:52:35.540 Oh, no.

00:52:35.860 For what?

00:52:36.140 If you get in trouble.

00:52:36.960 Yeah.

00:52:37.200 So let's say you get, you start with 12 points.

00:52:39.800 You lose one point for a seatbelt, three points for speeding, you know, things like that.

00:52:44.000 Really speeding, you lose six points.

00:52:46.260 I think America goes the other way upwards or whatever, right?

00:52:48.580 You gain points.

00:52:49.180 On long weekends, holiday weekends, it's double.

00:52:52.640 Oh.

00:52:53.080 So seatbelt two, speeding six, man.

00:52:55.360 And if you get 12, what's out?

00:52:56.380 You're out.

00:52:56.740 You're out.

00:52:57.140 Oh, Australia has a bit of a double or nothing policy, which is like a thing we do because

00:53:01.300 people go, oh, but I need me car for work.

00:53:04.560 Yeah.

00:53:05.040 What if I can't do it for work?

00:53:06.880 The Australian government goes like this, we'll give you one point, right?

00:53:12.520 And you have to have that point for a year.

00:53:15.460 And so you can either lose your license for three months or you can have one point for

00:53:20.760 a year.

00:53:21.420 And if you lose it, then you lose your license for a year.

00:53:24.320 Yeah. 0.98

00:53:24.720 So you can't fucking roll through a stop sign. 0.98

00:53:28.480 You know what I mean? 0.98

00:53:29.220 Keep it clean.

00:53:29.540 I like that.

00:53:30.200 But you put things on the Australian citizen, I think they take things seriously.

00:53:34.260 A lot of Americans, there's a lot of Americans that take things seriously, but there's a 1.00

00:53:37.280 lot of other fucking just fucktards who don't give a shit, you know? 1.00

00:53:41.020 Oh, we have fucktards who don't give a shit. 1.00

00:53:43.020 We're not short on them. 1.00

00:53:44.220 Yeah.

00:53:44.360 You know, the world's got them.

00:53:45.560 Oh, yeah.

00:53:46.480 Yeah, maybe you're right.

00:53:47.480 Maybe I'm being a little bit hard on Americans today.

00:53:49.300 No, America, man, I always have to stipulate this, man. 0.99

00:53:52.560 Fucking what a wonderful place, man. 0.99

00:53:54.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:53:54.740 What opportunities and things you can do.

00:53:57.900 Just the basic fact that you have 330 million in such a small place, right? 0.98

00:54:04.160 You know when you're flying around doing gigs in Australia, you didn't get any fucking 0.97

00:54:07.220 connecting flights, did you? 0.98

00:54:08.680 Mm-mm.

00:54:09.140 You just went to those cities.

00:54:10.800 Yeah.

00:54:11.020 They all went to each other. 0.99

00:54:11.840 Because we've got five major fucking cities. 0.99

00:54:13.980 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:14.360 Right?

00:54:14.860 Yeah.

00:54:15.060 And then you drove out to the more rural places or whatever.

00:54:17.900 But like in America, okay, I've got to stop in Charlotte because it's a hub.

00:54:20.980 And I'm always complaining about it, but then I think to myself, how wonderful that we

00:54:25.300 can, I've been here for 15 or 16 years and there's still towns I haven't played.

00:54:32.800 There's still cities I still have to go to.

00:54:34.720 I've been to most of them over and over again.

00:54:37.040 Yeah.

00:54:37.320 But there's so much space.

00:54:38.900 And there's also, you can be a popular comedian in the Midwest and that can be your territory

00:54:44.540 where you have your fan base and you don't have to travel too far.

00:54:48.180 Or you can be someone who's just really popular in San Francisco or whatever.

00:54:52.380 You know what I mean?

00:54:53.040 Like, it's that diverse. 0.99

00:54:55.680 And people shit on America a lot because of your low rate of people who have passports. 0.99

00:55:01.300 Right? 0.99

00:55:01.540 That's a stat they always say in Australia and Britain is like, you know, like 40% of

00:55:07.300 Americans don't even have a passport. 0.99

00:55:09.820 Right?

00:55:10.260 And I used to think, oh, that is a, I don't know the exact state stat.

00:55:13.960 Let's take a look at it right here.

00:55:15.100 As of late 2024, approximately 51% of Americans have a valid passport.

00:55:19.060 This reflects an increase from 46% in 2023 and 30% in 2008.

00:55:25.940 Right.

00:55:26.320 Compare that to other states.

00:55:27.320 Yeah.

00:55:27.640 Compare that to Australia or England.

00:55:30.160 Right?

00:55:30.800 So we're saying 49% of you don't have passports.

00:55:34.220 Right.

00:55:34.740 Right?

00:55:35.060 That is high.

00:55:35.900 That's a lot.

00:55:36.400 That is high.

00:55:37.100 Like, you're an international traveler.

00:55:39.440 You think nothing of having a passport.

00:55:41.960 Of course you should have a passport, right?

00:55:44.980 Oh, you guys is 55%.

00:55:47.080 55%.

00:55:47.840 77% of the UK because you're going to holiday in France. 0.99

00:55:52.120 It's a fucking two-hour train ride. 0.98

00:55:53.880 Of course you're going to do that. 1.00

00:55:55.060 You need to have that.

00:55:57.040 You go for lunch.

00:55:57.560 That surprises me.

00:55:59.160 Australia is only at 55%.

00:56:00.720 We're only a little bit higher.

00:56:01.760 Well, we've been catching up for some reason.

00:56:03.500 I mean, we're 30% in 2008.

00:56:05.180 I wonder what's caused us.

00:56:06.620 Right.

00:56:06.840 So 30% is bad.

00:56:08.160 Yeah.

00:56:08.680 30%.

00:56:09.080 But I never understood it until I moved to America.

00:56:12.080 And I'm like, well, you can do everything here.

00:56:15.000 You literally have every weather condition that you want to enjoy.

00:56:20.060 You want to go whitewater rafting. 0.97

00:56:21.460 You want to go to a winter wonderland and fucking go into a resort up there. 0.99

00:56:25.920 You want to go tropical. 0.99

00:56:27.300 I can take you down here.

00:56:28.880 Yeah.

00:56:29.100 Volcano.

00:56:29.860 You want to see big city things.

00:56:31.620 You want to go to Hawaii.

00:56:33.700 Storm, quicksand.

00:56:34.860 Yeah, yeah.

00:56:35.600 You've got every environment on earth is in the ecosystem of America.

00:56:41.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:56:42.200 Plus, you've got fucking Disneyland. 1.00

00:56:44.640 Right? 1.00

00:56:45.240 So...

00:56:45.680 You've got Epcot Center that has fake environments.

00:56:47.820 Exactly.

00:56:48.340 You can see the whole world there.

00:56:50.240 You don't have to go anywhere.

00:56:51.780 Just wander around there.

00:56:52.980 Watch.

00:56:53.280 It's a small world after all.

00:56:54.840 That's how you can tell what all the different children look like.

00:56:57.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:58.400 You know?

00:56:58.860 So I get it because you don't really have to go anywhere.

00:57:04.900 You kind of have everything that you need.

00:57:06.420 But there is something beautiful about going.

00:57:08.160 One thing that I remember when I first started traveling was the first people you see everywhere.

00:57:12.520 And this is one thing I always admired are Australians, dude. 1.00

00:57:15.040 They're fucking... 1.00

00:57:15.860 Everywhere. 1.00

00:57:16.560 Balls to the wall.

00:57:17.620 They wake up.

00:57:18.420 They go.

00:57:18.960 They don't sleep.

00:57:19.820 They're nocturnal.

00:57:20.700 They're day-turnal. 1.00

00:57:21.620 They're fucking lunch-turnal. 1.00

00:57:22.840 And it's even weird. 1.00

00:57:23.620 You'll find us in places like Whistler.

00:57:26.220 Yeah.

00:57:26.420 Right?

00:57:26.820 You'll be up in Whistler and,

00:57:27.980 G'day, mate.

00:57:28.500 I'm your ski instructor for the day. 1.00

00:57:30.920 Like, can't we get a fucking Canadian on this? 0.99

00:57:33.480 You brought me a bloke from the desert. 1.00

00:57:35.580 You know what I mean? 0.80

00:57:36.440 Even black Australians, you'll hear them, you know? 0.83

00:57:38.980 Like, G'day, mate. 0.95

00:57:40.240 And it's like a black guy. 0.97

00:57:41.320 And you're like, wow, that's crazy.

00:57:42.540 When I was young, you didn't...

00:57:44.000 Okay, so when I was young, I grew up in a school that had a lot of Asian kids in it.

00:57:47.660 I think it was 50%, 60% Asian and stuff like that.

00:57:50.420 Oh, wow.

00:57:50.780 And there wasn't many black people in Australia then.

00:57:53.000 We had the white Australia policy.

00:57:54.920 I'm going to...

00:57:56.980 Right up until, I want to say the 1950s, it might have been later, right?

00:58:00.720 And where there was whites only in Australia?

00:58:02.520 It was...

00:58:03.200 We were...

00:58:04.020 You can immigrate to Australia, but it was for white people. 1.00

00:58:08.440 And so the most dark as you got were Italians and Greeks. 1.00

00:58:12.060 And their derogatory term for them was wog, and that was the most foreign people. 0.99

00:58:18.200 But that's what shows how bigotry can go out the window, because now they're the most assimilated 0.80

00:58:23.220 people in Australia, Italians and Greeks.

00:58:25.260 Melbourne has the second highest Greek population of any city in the world next to Athens.

00:58:30.260 Wow.

00:58:30.540 And that's including other Greek cities.

00:58:32.840 Wow.

00:58:33.200 Right?

00:58:34.040 And so...

00:58:34.660 Melbourne's awesome.

00:58:36.340 1958.

00:58:37.220 There you go.

00:58:37.820 So they abolished, yeah, the non-white... 1.00

00:58:41.040 It was called the White Australia Policy, right? 0.59

00:58:43.960 It wasn't...

00:58:44.600 I'm not just making it like...

00:58:45.760 They didn't beat around the bush.

00:58:46.580 They didn't have...

00:58:47.280 Yeah.

00:58:47.720 So in 1958, they got rid of that.

00:58:50.880 And now we have, obviously, we have a lot of black people and stuff like that.

00:58:53.760 But when I left Australia, and I left Australia in 2001, and then when I came back just to,

00:59:00.780 you know, by about 2010, just, you know, on a holiday or seeing the family or whatever,

00:59:05.680 to see all...

00:59:06.880 So the Italians and Greeks were all Westernized Australian by then with the accent.

00:59:11.920 Then the Asians came in and then they... 1.00

00:59:14.180 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:59:15.000 Now you see Asian-Australian cricket players and they've all got the fucking voice. 1.00

00:59:20.460 You know, you ever seen like a Chinese fella who fucking talks like this? 1.00

00:59:24.980 Right? 1.00

00:59:25.680 And it's like...

00:59:26.740 It just takes time.

00:59:28.940 So they were the problem and then now they're like... 1.00

00:59:32.540 And these fucking blokes coming in and then... 1.00

00:59:34.700 And then so it just takes time and an accent to assimilate. 1.00

00:59:39.200 That's what you need.

00:59:39.940 Yeah.

00:59:40.200 Even now you see like a lot of like...

00:59:41.620 There's a lot more black country music fans and you see like a lot more like black kind

00:59:45.420 of redneck or like hunting type of guys.

00:59:48.280 You're like, oh, it just takes some time.

00:59:49.900 Exactly.

00:59:50.360 And it took...

00:59:50.940 And it's kind of good because they can't use those things to separate people anymore

00:59:53.980 anyway.

00:59:54.460 So that's good.

00:59:55.100 It took Hootie to make the first push.

00:59:56.820 Right?

00:59:57.260 Hootie.

00:59:57.580 I don't know what Hootie's real name is, but Hootie...

00:59:59.540 Darius.

01:00:00.320 Darius.

01:00:00.780 That's right.

01:00:01.540 But his last name was Rucker, which kind of has like kind of a country tone to it.

01:00:05.140 So yeah, dude, shout out Darius Rucker.

01:00:07.380 He does not get enough credit.

01:00:09.200 Rosa Parks are country music, man.

01:00:11.000 Oh.

01:00:11.620 Like you think about like...

01:00:14.080 And he left a popular band to go, I want to do country music in Nashville.

01:00:18.700 Right?

01:00:19.560 Because he can still be touring right now with the Blowfish going, oh, I want to be with

01:00:25.060 you.

01:00:26.060 Yeah.

01:00:26.520 Right?

01:00:27.040 We love a little island.

01:00:28.840 Yeah.

01:00:29.160 And still be doing just fine.

01:00:32.040 God, man.

01:00:32.800 He's...

01:00:33.220 Yeah.

01:00:33.500 That guy's done a great job.

01:00:34.780 With prices going up on just about everything, everything, dealing with money can be stressful.

01:00:42.640 Trying to manage subscriptions, track spending, and cut costs can feel overwhelming.

01:00:48.080 Luckily, Rocket Money can relieve some of that stress and help you feel confident in the financial

01:00:53.100 decisions you make.

01:00:54.340 Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions,

01:01:01.880 monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

01:01:06.880 That's it.

01:01:08.220 Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you.

01:01:11.980 The app automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and then goes to work

01:01:16.960 to get you better deals.

01:01:18.760 They'll even talk to customer service so you don't have to.

01:01:21.900 Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions,

01:01:28.740 with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all of the app's premium features.

01:01:36.660 Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

01:01:42.800 Go to rocketmoney.com slash T-H-E-O today.

01:01:47.320 That's rocketmoney.com slash Theo.

01:01:50.480 Rocket Money.com slash Theo.

01:01:53.780 This is an ad by BetterHelp.

01:01:55.960 These days, it feels like there's advice about everything.

01:01:58.960 You know, there's so many ways for wellness, right?

01:02:01.660 There's ice baths, cold baths, hot baths, hot flashes, menopause, flash fry in your feet 0.94

01:02:08.880 or whatever.

01:02:09.300 There's all types of things, right?

01:02:11.220 Gratitude lists, journals, screen detoxes, blah.

01:02:14.260 But how do you know what actually works for you?

01:02:17.440 One thing that's worked for me over the years?

01:02:20.120 Going to therapy.

01:02:21.900 BetterHelp.

01:02:22.760 They can help.

01:02:24.180 If you've ever struggled or been afraid to go to therapy, if you don't want to go down

01:02:28.820 to the therapist in your town because it's too small of a place, it's uncomfortable.

01:02:33.500 BetterHelp is an option.

01:02:35.200 With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform.

01:02:40.620 Having served over 5 million people globally, whether it's couples therapy or individual

01:02:45.460 or maybe your child could use someone to talk to.

01:02:48.260 Maybe you and your child could use someone to talk to together.

01:02:51.440 They've got all sorts of options.

01:02:53.120 I've had experiences with BetterHelp and they've been good.

01:02:55.800 As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to

01:03:00.400 mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise.

01:03:05.100 Talk it out with BetterHelp.

01:03:07.620 Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash T-H-E-O.

01:03:13.300 That's BetterH-E-L-P dot com slash Theo.

01:03:18.900 But I always think that like when you say black Australians and stuff like that, so the sports

01:03:22.200 that we're into, Australian rules football.

01:03:25.380 Oh yeah, AFL, man.

01:03:26.320 Brisbane Lions, dude.

01:03:27.040 AFL.

01:03:27.900 Yeah, Fremantle, bro.

01:03:28.920 When black people start playing that sport. 1.00

01:03:31.740 It's a wrap. 0.99

01:03:32.360 It's a wrap.

01:03:33.380 And they're hiding it from them right now.

01:03:34.920 It's a wrap.

01:03:35.640 Because we've got like some Sudanese refugees that have started playing who are excelling.

01:03:39.460 Really? 0.99

01:03:40.340 It's a game about jumping really fucking like. 0.98

01:03:44.660 Jumping and running. 0.98

01:03:45.300 Yeah, yeah.

01:03:46.020 Yeah, it's a wrap, right?

01:03:48.740 But I believe all sports.

01:03:51.500 Eventually are a wrap.

01:03:52.780 I think now.

01:03:53.640 So when I was growing up in Australia, I wore a Michael Jordan jersey like every other boy

01:03:58.980 in the 90s.

01:03:59.720 That's all.

01:04:00.000 Right?

01:04:00.340 Because.

01:04:00.660 The best.

01:04:01.300 The best.

01:04:02.320 I never got to see him play one live game.

01:04:04.780 There would be Wide World of Sports.

01:04:06.380 We'd show little clips of what happened in American sports.

01:04:09.600 We would get the Super Bowl would be shown on our TV.

01:04:12.540 No baseball.

01:04:13.800 No basketball.

01:04:15.640 Or like a stingray kills a boy or something as well would be like one of the highlights.

01:04:19.400 But we had our rugby and we had our cricket and we had our AFL and all, you know, great

01:04:26.420 sports.

01:04:27.260 But now they've got an app called KO where you can watch all the NBA, all the baseball, 0.98

01:04:33.140 all the Premier League for fucking 10 bucks or 15 bucks. 0.96

01:04:37.160 You know what I mean? 0.98

01:04:37.860 And it's like it's cheaper to watch those sports in Australia now than it is now.

01:04:41.380 I believe that, as I said, you had one NBA player back in the day, Luke Longley.

01:04:46.340 Now we've got like maybe 15 Australian NBA players.

01:04:49.960 We've got, now we've got, there's a guy in the Super Bowl, I think about four or five

01:04:56.380 punters in the NFL.

01:04:57.860 Oh yeah, that class.

01:04:59.360 Because they learned from AFL to kick so long.

01:05:02.180 And now they've just got, at Australian universities, we're just training punters.

01:05:06.880 We're just like, all right, this is our thing.

01:05:08.760 Look at this punter right here.

01:05:10.300 Let's get a gandal out of him.

01:05:11.220 There's Michael Dixon right there for the Seahawks, current Australian punters.

01:05:14.640 Lou Headley down there in New Orleans, Mitch Wischnowski, shout out Mitch Wischnowski.

01:05:21.060 So we've got six current, six current.

01:05:23.500 And I believe there's a bloke who actually played.

01:05:26.920 That's an awesome guy.

01:05:27.800 He looks awesome.

01:05:28.900 Yeah, yeah.

01:05:29.660 And the thing is, because punters never have to learn to tackle. 0.99

01:05:32.240 So look at this fucking lad right there. 0.99

01:05:34.580 Every now and again. 1.00

01:05:35.560 Lou Headley, dude. 0.99

01:05:36.580 Order me a fucking Lou Headley jersey. 0.99

01:05:38.420 That's him? 1.00

01:05:39.100 Every now and again, there'll be a punt. 1.00

01:05:40.740 He'll kick your fucking balls off your back. 1.00

01:05:42.460 There'll be a punt and there'll be someone return, get past all the defense. 1.00

01:05:46.000 You know, they do that full run back, the whole thing.

01:05:48.260 Oh, yeah.

01:05:48.700 And the Australian blokes always tackle them because they grow up playing rugby and all that.

01:05:52.240 Yes.

01:05:52.500 And so every time they're just like, oh, all there is left is the punter.

01:05:55.860 Oh, my God.

01:05:57.240 Oh, my God.

01:05:59.080 Have you seen that?

01:06:01.060 Right?

01:06:01.420 Like that. 1.00

01:06:01.820 It's always some Australian bloke going, yeah, I can fucking tackle. 1.00

01:06:04.400 Well, this is what we do. 0.99

01:06:06.420 Yeah, I'm an adult male.

01:06:07.480 I do this without a helmet, mate.

01:06:09.100 Yeah.

01:06:09.580 Lou Headley, dude. 1.00

01:06:10.760 He'll kick your freaking arms off your body. 1.00

01:06:12.840 That guy. 1.00

01:06:13.440 Wow.

01:06:14.580 Dude, that's class, bro.

01:06:16.040 That's such a great call.

01:06:17.080 It's like everybody should have that Australian punter.

01:06:19.040 I think I love having more.

01:06:21.180 I want more Mexican guys in the NBA, dude.

01:06:23.740 And I mean real Mexican guys.

01:06:25.660 Like 5'4", one guy.

01:06:27.960 What's his name for the Heat?

01:06:29.980 He's the only one that I can.

01:06:31.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:06:32.380 I've forgotten his bloody name. 0.99

01:06:33.560 They're not renowned for being tall, the Mexicans. 0.99

01:06:36.540 No.

01:06:36.840 That's why they got the one at UCLA, Jaime Hacquez.

01:06:39.800 Yeah, Hacquez.

01:06:40.420 Yeah, yeah.

01:06:40.780 He plays for the Heat.

01:06:42.520 Yeah, he plays for the Heat now.

01:06:44.500 And he's class, but he's not an all-star.

01:06:48.560 You know what I mean?

01:06:49.020 I always think with like – also with sports,

01:06:52.140 it just takes one person to open the door up for other kids to go,

01:06:56.040 oh, yeah, maybe I can –

01:06:58.020 You know, we have Australians in the Premier League and stuff like that.

01:07:01.780 You know, for a very small country – I'll tell you what country kicks 1.00

01:07:04.660 fucking ass for its size. 1.00

01:07:08.000 Iceland. 1.00

01:07:09.240 Really?

01:07:09.920 Iceland's got 270,000 people.

01:07:12.480 I might be out by 10,000 or something.

01:07:14.780 And they made it to the Soccer World Cup.

01:07:17.160 Oh, my God.

01:07:18.020 I didn't realise that.

01:07:19.040 Well, statistically, they would only have maybe 20,000 eligible men of age

01:07:24.120 to the right age and the right whatever, and they made it to the World Cup, 0.97

01:07:26.960 and they fucking got through the first round. 0.98

01:07:29.080 Class. 1.00

01:07:29.460 They got to the round of 16.

01:07:31.620 Unbelievable.

01:07:32.020 Let's bring up that Iceland team.

01:07:33.200 I didn't want to get a gander in.

01:07:34.080 I feel like it's like – I think Christian McCaffrey's from Iceland.

01:07:38.740 Dude, I just went to Qatar not long ago.

01:07:40.540 I know you're going to the Middle East coming up.

01:07:41.780 I went to Qatar, and this is – one thing that was interesting there was

01:07:44.780 the soccer stadiums from when they held the World Cup are all still there

01:07:49.660 because they don't really have that much regular use of them.

01:07:53.300 So you have these huge stadiums sitting everywhere.

01:07:56.380 Let's get a look at that team.

01:07:57.820 That's amazing, brother.

01:07:59.420 Yeah, yeah.

01:08:00.080 They're all just – like, they don't even have a McDonald's in Iceland. 0.93

01:08:03.260 Oh, well, that's probably why they're all in fucking doing good. 0.98

01:08:07.160 Everybody is just all fucking – 0.99

01:08:08.780 They're right. 1.00

01:08:10.880 Geeked out.

01:08:11.360 Their arteries aren't clogged up.

01:08:13.580 Is that Jason Ellis on the bottom right there?

01:08:15.660 Let me get a gander at that pic there.

01:08:18.580 Oh, these lads are – dude, look how Icelandic that dude is, 1.00

01:08:21.420 the third dude, that freaking Ice Indian. 1.00

01:08:23.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

01:08:24.400 Oh, yeah, I'm the Ice Indian. 0.98

01:08:26.020 That guy's fucking ready, brother. 0.99

01:08:29.460 Wow. 0.99

01:08:29.920 I bet it would be cool to be Icelandic.

01:08:31.880 Have you been there?

01:08:33.040 No, I almost went to Reykjavik, but it was –

01:08:34.940 they had a – it was gay pride weekend.

01:08:36.660 We were going to go, and I was like –

01:08:38.040 There's nothing.

01:08:38.780 Reykjavik is it.

01:08:40.120 Yeah, I just didn't want to be at there when it was just – 0.57

01:08:42.960 everything was very kind of overly gay.

01:08:45.340 I was there when there was no sun. 1.00

01:08:47.980 Gay shit happening? 1.00

01:08:49.180 There was no moon. 1.00

01:08:50.440 There was no darkness.

01:08:52.480 Oh.

01:08:52.680 It was sunny 24 hours a day.

01:08:54.240 Is it fun? 0.56

01:08:55.240 That spanned the fuck out of me.

01:08:56.720 They only get that for three months, and the rest of it was not – 0.98

01:08:59.120 but you're worried about the gayness?

01:09:00.420 You're worried about –

01:09:01.180 I just didn't want it to be every – you know, at the hotel – 0.87

01:09:03.160 every moment, it's so much gayness. 0.94

01:09:05.640 I guess it's probably what gay people think of, like – 0.96

01:09:07.960 Yeah, they have to walk into our hotels. 0.93

01:09:10.020 That's true.

01:09:10.420 I know. 1.00

01:09:10.880 And then they go, I can't be going here with all the fucking heteros. 1.00

01:09:14.300 Oh, I bet they feel that way. 0.99

01:09:15.640 Like, they don't want to go to Sturgis, probably, some of them, you know.

01:09:18.100 Yeah, I think that's that whole parade.

01:09:19.240 That's all I meant.

01:09:20.720 It was just a few – look, and also – okay, so you know, like in Iceland –

01:09:24.580 I just didn't want guys – like, I'm at breakfast, 0.95

01:09:26.340 and some guys keep trying to buy me, like, fucking – like those – 0.99

01:09:31.220 what are those eggs with the little ham on it? 1.00

01:09:33.720 That's a cock you're talking about. 0.99

01:09:35.080 No. 0.97

01:09:36.080 Yeah, the eggs are at the base, and then there's, like, a ham –

01:09:38.840 I just didn't want –

01:09:39.660 There's, like, a thing you didn't want one of them bought for you. 0.99

01:09:42.000 Yeah, I just didn't want somebody sending over a cock, you know. 0.99

01:09:44.800 Well, you know, okay, so – 0.99

01:09:45.780 Not that they would, but if you –

01:09:47.000 Sometimes I dress nice and people would.

01:09:48.260 To be gay, I reckon Iceland's the place to do it because, you know, 1.00

01:09:51.160 they have an app on the phone, so the population's so small 0.93

01:09:55.340 that they have to have an app on the phone.

01:09:58.060 So if you meet a girl in a bar, you both put your names in the app

01:10:02.000 or your license into the app or whatever,

01:10:03.680 and it'll tell you how closely related you are 0.97

01:10:05.980 because everyone's fucking related and thing, right? 0.97

01:10:09.720 Then we got to get over there, dude. 0.93

01:10:11.460 So you go over there.

01:10:13.360 Of course, we have a shot.

01:10:14.500 So, like, third cousin's all right, I guess.

01:10:16.820 Second cousin, no good.

01:10:18.720 Warning.

01:10:19.540 First cousin, how good are you at keeping a secret, right?

01:10:23.440 40%, 70%.

01:10:25.320 But that's for the heteros. 1.00

01:10:27.060 If you're gay, who gives a fuck if you fuck your cousin? 1.00

01:10:30.280 It's not going to – a baby's not going to be made is what I'm saying. 1.00

01:10:33.700 Right.

01:10:33.760 That's what I'm saying.

01:10:34.400 But you would still – it would make –

01:10:35.740 Oh, no, you'd prefer not.

01:10:37.180 Yeah. 0.98

01:10:37.660 I don't want the gay people kicking off on me like I'm saying 1.00

01:10:40.620 they're all fucking their siblings. 1.00

01:10:41.700 If you can avoid it, if you can avoid it, I say do. 1.00

01:10:48.140 Yeah, dude.

01:10:48.920 But if it's unavoidable and it's cold 0.98

01:10:51.200 and the sun hasn't been out for six fucking months, 0.99

01:10:54.000 who am I to judge? 0.98

01:10:55.100 And if you write not my cousin on the guy's back or whatever.

01:10:58.020 Yes, exactly.

01:10:59.740 Exactly. 0.99

01:11:00.360 You can – like, there would be nothing worse than ejaculating 0.99

01:11:04.120 and rolling over going, so how's your mum? 0.99

01:11:05.920 She still all right?

01:11:06.680 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:07.880 How's Aunt Nan?

01:11:10.800 How's Aunt Bjork?

01:11:13.620 Dude, I got to go over there.

01:11:15.300 You went?

01:11:16.320 I went.

01:11:17.240 And I'm going to Saudi Arabia coming up.

01:11:19.480 I'll just talk about that.

01:11:20.360 Because you just talked about guitar.

01:11:21.880 I'm going to this thing in Saudi Arabia.

01:11:22.760 I've been given a little bit of grief online, nothing too much.

01:11:25.480 About going to Saudi Arabia?

01:11:26.260 Yeah, a few people have gotten into the comics who –

01:11:29.600 and the list is big.

01:11:32.500 It's Louis C.K. Me, Bill Burr, Fluffy's going, Whitney Cummings is going.

01:11:38.260 Oh, there's a big festival going out?

01:11:39.640 It's called the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

01:11:42.420 And here we go.

01:11:43.460 Andrew St. Andrew Schultz, Aziz Ansari, Bill Burr, Jim Jeffries,

01:11:47.140 Jimmy Carr, Joe Coy, Kevin Hart, you know, Sam – we've got people.

01:11:51.700 Great lineup too.

01:11:52.620 Jessica Kersen, Nimesh Patel.

01:11:55.180 Wow.

01:11:56.140 It's as good a lineup I've seen at any comedy festival ever.

01:11:59.660 Unbelievable.

01:12:00.120 Now, people have been going, oh, how dare you go over there after –

01:12:04.720 oh, they killed a reporter.

01:12:06.780 That was the big one.

01:12:07.380 There's been a reporter who they killed. 0.99

01:12:09.740 You don't think our government's fucking bumped people? 0.99

01:12:12.180 I think Jeffrey Epstein was fucking bumped off. 0.99

01:12:15.000 Oh, I'm sure. 0.99

01:12:16.060 Right, right.

01:12:16.920 Every place.

01:12:18.000 We've damaged a lot of places.

01:12:19.240 Yeah, yeah.

01:12:21.860 One reporter was killed by the government. 1.00

01:12:25.000 Unfortunate, but not a fucking hill that I'm going to die on. 0.99

01:12:28.220 It's not my – you know, and I don't know the ins and outs of their government. 0.95

01:12:32.040 So then they get into the live golf, right?

01:12:35.340 All the golfers go off to Saudi Arabia for, you know, a king's ransom amount of money,

01:12:39.600 and everyone's like, how dare they after how they treat their people and all this type of stuff,

01:12:44.080 and the people are like, I don't – then you've got Cristiano Ronaldo goes over and plays there.

01:12:49.100 He's being paid an – he gets an extra 100, 200 grand every time he kicks a goal as a bonus,

01:12:53.880 50 grand for an assist.

01:12:55.460 He has like an SPF fee, I heard.

01:12:56.900 Even just putting it on before the games, they pay him extra to do that.

01:13:00.220 That's crazy.

01:13:01.000 So he's living there.

01:13:02.680 He's engaged to his missus, but they've never gotten married, right?

01:13:06.540 He's the first person in Saudi Arabia who's allowed to live with a woman who he's not married to.

01:13:11.900 They've made – they've gone –

01:13:13.500 An exception.

01:13:13.980 They've gone, all right, all right.

01:13:15.740 For Ronaldo, okay.

01:13:17.340 He can do it.

01:13:17.880 That's right.

01:13:18.480 There's a lot of strong rules over there.

01:13:19.980 So you can be angry at how they treat their people, how they treat the reporter.

01:13:25.320 You can be angry at the golfers.

01:13:26.840 You can be angry at things.

01:13:27.840 You can – but what better than basically we are freedom of speech machines being sent over there.

01:13:36.460 What better – they haven't asked – they have not at one stage asked to see our material.

01:13:40.560 They haven't asked – and I've been asked in some countries in Asia,

01:13:43.200 I've been asked for transcripts of what I'm going to say.

01:13:45.040 Oh, yeah.

01:13:45.660 Right?

01:13:45.880 They haven't asked what we're going to do, and let's be fair. 0.99

01:13:49.700 They have picked some fucking edgy-ass comedians. 0.99

01:13:52.680 Some seriously edgy ones. 0.99

01:13:54.180 Yeah, yeah.

01:13:54.720 Some of the greats.

01:13:55.580 They've picked some edgy comedians.

01:13:57.540 They're very smart, too.

01:13:58.560 So if you don't agree with how –

01:14:00.500 Bill Burr's been to be there, Schultz.

01:14:02.300 If you don't agree with how they run their place, isn't this a step in the right direction?

01:14:07.380 A hundred percent.

01:14:08.120 Bringing free speech over.

01:14:09.220 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:09.760 Isn't this a sign that they're trying to do something different with themselves?

01:14:14.560 Yeah.

01:14:15.240 Like this would have been – the highest ranks of government would have gone, 0.99

01:14:17.900 all right, we're bringing out 30 fucking comedians who are allowed to say whatever the fuck they want. 0.99

01:14:22.220 Who's up for this? 0.99

01:14:23.200 Yeah.

01:14:23.380 This is a positive thing.

01:14:25.500 I agree.

01:14:26.180 Well, here's the thing that I don't understand, too.

01:14:28.140 It's like to live in a country where we're fortunate enough to have the freedom of speech, right?

01:14:33.280 Yeah.

01:14:33.580 And to say things we want.

01:14:34.900 Yeah.

01:14:35.580 And then to judge other places.

01:14:37.000 It's just like I get judging them, but their rules are – that's what makes their culture, right?

01:14:41.980 And it's like, yes, we may not agree with some of them, and some of them we may deem as wrong,

01:14:46.900 and some of them may be morally wrong or religiously wrong.

01:14:50.060 But for that country, that's what's going on, right?

01:14:53.080 Now, some of them I get.

01:14:55.000 It's like that's wrong. 0.99

01:14:56.940 That's fucked up. 0.98

01:14:58.240 But some things – sometimes you're just attacking kind of the culture of a place, right? 0.99

01:15:03.200 So it's like –

01:15:04.940 And us isolating them teaches us nothing and teaches them nothing.

01:15:10.400 Nothing, yeah.

01:15:11.180 It also makes us look like this loud know-it-all all the time.

01:15:14.420 That's the thing I don't like, you know?

01:15:16.120 Go live there for a few years.

01:15:17.400 See how it is, you know?

01:15:18.780 I mean, of course –

01:15:19.520 Well, I'm not going to live there.

01:15:20.520 Yeah, no, no.

01:15:20.880 I don't want to put that out there.

01:15:22.800 I'm happy here.

01:15:23.740 Jim Jeffries is coming over.

01:15:25.160 He's going to be staying.

01:15:26.160 Yeah.

01:15:26.520 I didn't sober up for that reason.

01:15:30.980 Dude, I will say this, man.

01:15:32.300 When I was in Qatar, they had – everything was organized.

01:15:34.940 There's nothing out of place.

01:15:36.680 It's almost like there's – it's like there's a ton of respect everywhere.

01:15:41.580 Like, I mean, that's just what you see in public, right?

01:15:43.340 Yeah.

01:15:43.440 Like, I mean, things are clean.

01:15:44.960 Like, you wouldn't –

01:15:46.620 People say the World Cup was wonderful.

01:15:48.580 I was – I was anti.

01:15:49.780 I was there because I've seen – I saw the World Cup in Germany in 2006.

01:15:53.460 And I saw the Women's World Cup in Australia when that happened.

01:15:56.700 I saw the Matildas, the Australian women's team, play.

01:16:00.280 And I thought, you know, why should we go to this little country that doesn't really have a soccer history or whatever like that? 0.97

01:16:07.900 But everyone reckons the fucking – the crowds were super chill. 0.98

01:16:11.060 They reckon it was piss easy to get beer. 0.99

01:16:13.080 They actually had beer taps out the front of the stadium where you – 0.73

01:16:15.580 Nuh-uh.

01:16:16.060 Yeah, because they didn't want – they're people actually touching it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:16:20.820 And so look at him there.

01:16:23.840 Look at the mullet.

01:16:24.860 I thought you were just – had a dirty headdress on you. 1.00

01:16:28.120 You know what I mean?

01:16:29.140 I thought that one bloke on the left hasn't washed his cloth there.

01:16:33.960 That's a thing.

01:16:34.680 They called it a thobe over there. 0.97

01:16:36.300 Dude, they treated us so great.

01:16:37.520 I mean, obviously, we were there to, like, do a show and stuff.

01:16:39.640 But it was just great to get to see the culture and be a part of the culture, a ton of, like, respect.

01:16:45.900 And, you know, they don't – like, a lot of them don't drink or they don't do it.

01:16:49.380 Like, it's not as public here. 0.98

01:16:50.460 There's not pubs and bars and shit. 0.60

01:16:52.120 I didn't notice anyway where people are just drunk.

01:16:54.720 You know, it's like – I don't know.

01:16:57.100 It's definitely different.

01:16:58.100 I thought it was really unique, you know?

01:17:00.320 I thought it was unique.

01:17:01.020 About pubs, I was talking to my friend the other day about this.

01:17:03.640 Okay, so I – you've gigged in the UK, right?

01:17:09.120 How good is a pub in the UK?

01:17:11.180 Good.

01:17:11.840 It's good.

01:17:12.420 It's like a living room.

01:17:13.640 Even in Ireland, yeah.

01:17:14.720 Yeah, Ireland, even better.

01:17:16.060 Is that part of the UK, yeah?

01:17:17.020 Well, it's not.

01:17:17.680 No, Northern Ireland is part of the UK.

01:17:19.100 Ireland is – the Republic of Ireland is its own place.

01:17:21.660 But they have reciprocal passports.

01:17:23.740 You can live in either country.

01:17:25.120 So, you know, it's that part of the world, right?

01:17:26.680 Yeah.

01:17:27.300 And the pub is just so good.

01:17:29.800 And I feel like America is missing that.

01:17:33.240 Sometimes they try to recreate an English pub.

01:17:35.520 But I feel like what they're missing is you've got two levels of bar in America. 0.97

01:17:40.640 You've got fancy-ass fucking bar, like really like everything's shiny and clean lines and unique 0.97

01:17:46.180 and that glass back with all the bottles and all that type of stuff. 0.99

01:17:49.080 Almost a nightclub chic.

01:17:50.640 Yeah. 0.96

01:17:50.800 And you have the dive bar that is on Bar Rescue where there seems to be fucking gaffer tape holding everything together. 0.61

01:17:57.500 And it just sort of smells and the carpet's sticky. 0.95

01:18:00.100 Yeah, some woman's living in the ice machine. 1.00

01:18:02.180 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:03.520 And you're like, can I have a Bloody Mary?

01:18:06.800 And they're like, yeah.

01:18:07.560 And then they read a book.

01:18:09.920 Oh, then they just punch a woman and they just bring her over.

01:18:13.140 Like, here she is. 0.99

01:18:14.800 That was kind of a dumb joke. 0.99

01:18:15.960 I'm fucking – my brain's tired today. 0.99

01:18:17.440 Thank you for laughing. 0.99

01:18:17.960 Bit of fun, brother.

01:18:18.700 Bit of fun.

01:18:19.120 But anyway, so I think America's missing that middle bar, which is nice and everything's clean,

01:18:27.780 but I can still walk in in a T-shirt and not feel like I'm – and I don't have to line up

01:18:33.140 and I don't have to know a guy.

01:18:34.400 And it's just – they need to have more homely bars.

01:18:37.800 Yeah, we're missing that neighborhood bar that's more popular in every place.

01:18:41.260 Like one thing in the UK, they have all those like the White Star. 1.00

01:18:45.560 What's that bar they have in almost every town there?

01:18:47.940 I think it's called the Red – no, White Lion maybe.

01:18:51.000 Which town is this?

01:18:52.200 The White Star Tavern is an award-winning pub, restaurant, hotel in Southampton.

01:18:55.660 Southampton.

01:18:56.220 No, it's – this place is everywhere.

01:18:58.780 Oh, they have chain ones, but you don't even know that they're a chain in Britain.

01:19:02.200 No, they don't look chain at all.

01:19:04.200 And they're just kind of like in every town they have them.

01:19:06.760 Like on high –

01:19:07.380 There's a chain called Wetherspoons, which is a company that owns a ton of bars across Britain.

01:19:14.260 There we go, J.D. Wetherspoons.

01:19:15.740 One of the most well-known examples of J.D. Wetherspoons is simply spoons, they call it.

01:19:18.840 Well –

01:19:19.660 I performed in the corner of a few spoons in my day.

01:19:22.020 Have you?

01:19:22.620 Oh, yeah, man.

01:19:23.860 Yeah, man.

01:19:24.520 Dude, I performed in this one place in South Dakota.

01:19:26.180 They had a parrot in the bar.

01:19:28.500 It was like part of a thing, right?

01:19:29.760 And every now and then sometimes it could say some words and sometimes it would repeat a bit of your –

01:19:33.560 Have a punchline or something.

01:19:34.940 Oh, it'd actually like go –

01:19:36.680 Yeah.

01:19:37.080 Yeah.

01:19:37.900 That's –

01:19:38.640 Yeah.

01:19:39.420 That's something, you know.

01:19:40.160 Bit of fun.

01:19:40.520 I'll bleep that out, yeah, bud.

01:19:41.540 That's a bit of fun.

01:19:42.300 Yeah, we'll leave it in.

01:19:43.460 It's your podcast, mate.

01:19:44.700 It's true, dude.

01:19:45.320 I didn't say it.

01:19:46.120 You said it.

01:19:46.740 You're right.

01:19:47.120 If I'm in trouble for sitting next to you saying it, then the world's gone too far, I think. 0.98

01:19:51.040 Yeah, and that's gay. 0.92

01:19:52.560 That's like sort of my new special, man. 0.89

01:19:54.860 I want to talk about it just quickly.

01:19:56.920 Yeah, I want to talk about the two-limb policy, man. 0.66

01:19:58.840 And I'm glad that you had to set that in stone because it's just amazing.

01:20:02.820 The levels of people will go around, you know, to try and cheat the system.

01:20:06.600 Well, I do a meet and greet.

01:20:07.640 They normally just join the meet and greet.

01:20:09.100 You do it for free, I know, too, which I think is pretty amazing.

01:20:11.440 Well, okay, so for the disabled people, it's for free. 0.99

01:20:14.260 I do a meet and greet with a ticket with the people in the front row.

01:20:18.420 Oh, that's fair.

01:20:19.060 Yeah, but like 50 people.

01:20:20.660 Yeah.

01:20:20.880 And then the disabled people are included in that.

01:20:23.240 And the disabled people, God bless them, they always wait till the end of the meet and greet.

01:20:26.660 I'm like, you come first.

01:20:27.800 Don't worry about it.

01:20:28.400 Don't worry.

01:20:28.940 I know you're seated the whole time and the rest of them are standing.

01:20:31.040 But I always get off stage.

01:20:34.880 I used to drink before I went to stage and the first thing I do is pop an edible because

01:20:38.840 it helps me sleep and it's also my way of chilling out.

01:20:41.040 I don't go out to bars.

01:20:42.120 I don't do anything.

01:20:42.960 I'm not bloody, you know, I'm an happily married man.

01:20:45.420 I'm not out chasing tail. 0.96

01:20:46.780 I'm just fucking, I just chill into my, and then I do the meet and greet. 0.94

01:20:51.020 And then I talk to everyone a few minutes as I meet them and chat to them about whatever 0.94

01:20:54.840 they want to chat to me about, but you know, you're too high when someone's paid $80 to

01:21:03.340 meet you and they stop the conversation and they go, all right, Jim, it was great meeting

01:21:08.780 you. 0.96

01:21:09.040 And you're like this, oh God, I just bored the shit out of these people and they just paid 0.99

01:21:15.280 to meet me and they found me boring. 0.92

01:21:18.700 Yeah.

01:21:19.120 They're like, hey, Jim, what's getting laid in?

01:21:21.240 I got something in the oven, Jim.

01:21:22.440 We got a sitter.

01:21:26.800 Jim's like, wait, wait.

01:21:28.060 Yeah.

01:21:28.520 I was just enjoying the show.

01:21:30.400 Come back next time.

01:21:32.460 Yeah, dude.

01:21:33.060 I think it's, congratulations.

01:21:34.300 How many specials do you have now?

01:21:35.260 That's special number 10, but it's special number six on Netflix.

01:21:38.680 I think I actually have the record for Netflix.

01:21:40.580 I know.

01:21:40.720 I think you have the record total for anybody, but it has 10 specials.

01:21:45.220 Were there people, I think Carlin had 11 or something like that, but I have, the six

01:21:51.620 is the Hellbound's just a thing.

01:21:54.860 So yeah, one, two, three, four, five, six, 10.

01:21:57.740 Yeah, 10.

01:21:58.280 Yeah.

01:21:58.700 Wow.

01:21:58.980 Oh no, hang on, hang on.

01:21:59.740 We haven't got the new one.

01:22:00.740 No, you haven't.

01:22:01.040 Two Limb Policy. 0.90

01:22:02.080 Two Limb Policy's got to go down there. 0.99

01:22:04.180 Well, Contraband was just a DVD.

01:22:06.280 Swear to God was HBO.

01:22:07.840 Alcoholic Cost was Showtime.

01:22:09.240 Then there was Epix.

01:22:10.000 And then Bear Down is To Two Limb Policy, which is on there, are all Netflix.

01:22:16.460 And I think Chappelle has like five Netflixes or something like that.

01:22:19.540 But I was just lucky.

01:22:20.980 I was, there was, okay, so there was five specials came out on the first ever Netflix.

01:22:26.520 Netflix didn't do specials.

01:22:28.720 Netflix and just like, Netflix was still more of a, this is about 12, 13 years ago.

01:22:33.800 And they brought it, they had billboards up.

01:22:35.660 Netflix is a joke.

01:22:36.580 They started, this is before the festival.

01:22:37.840 And they were getting into the comedy special market.

01:22:41.860 And they selected five comedians.

01:22:43.680 And I remember people like actually going, oh, you were on HBO and now you're on Netflix.

01:22:47.940 Someone's career is going well.

01:22:50.420 Like really.

01:22:51.500 Yeah.

01:22:51.660 Somebody from, little guy from Family Guy or whatever.

01:22:53.700 Yeah.

01:22:53.720 A little, yeah.

01:22:54.240 A little patronizing facts, right?

01:22:55.780 Anyway, so the five comics they had were me, Bill Burr, Chelsea Handler, and Chelsea Peretti.

01:23:03.060 Wow.

01:23:03.340 Right?

01:23:03.660 So it's a good lineup, right?

01:23:04.800 Really good lineup of comics.

01:23:06.180 And they were just, if these specials go well, we will continue.

01:23:09.800 If they don't go well, we gave it a go.

01:23:12.060 That was Netflix.

01:23:12.840 The feeling I got from them.

01:23:14.260 Yeah.

01:23:14.420 And the fifth comic, we were going to, they were going to do a press conference and everything.

01:23:18.060 And I was all excited.

01:23:18.860 It was Bill Cosby.

01:23:20.120 Now, no one's ever seen that special.

01:23:21.840 That special's never.

01:23:23.200 Really?

01:23:23.580 But he did record it.

01:23:24.420 He recorded one for Netflix.

01:23:25.560 It's never been seen.

01:23:26.700 Have you seen it?

01:23:27.600 No.

01:23:28.140 You, what, you think Netflix give me a special password that no one else gets? 0.99

01:23:32.080 I still pay for my fucking Netflix like everyone else, man. 0.99

01:23:35.180 Dude, that's a good point. 0.99

01:23:36.020 I freaking have a Netflix post and I freaking pay for Netflix too.

01:23:38.440 Yeah.

01:23:38.680 I got six Netflix specials and I have to log in like everyone else to watch me. 0.93

01:23:42.500 I have fucking two accounts, one here and one in Nashville. 0.84

01:23:45.360 They tell me off when I'm on an Airbnb. 0.99

01:23:47.580 They go, you've logged into too many devices.

01:23:50.400 Me.

01:23:51.500 That's one of the things I do do when I'm in an Airbnb and someone else has already logged

01:23:55.500 into Netflix and someone else's account that I've never met.

01:23:58.100 As I leave the house, I put my special on.

01:23:59.980 I think, one more rating.

01:24:02.220 Get one more.

01:24:03.080 That's it right there.

01:24:03.520 Here we go.

01:24:04.180 So it's 2014.

01:24:06.220 Bill Cosby's 77.

01:24:08.000 Is it unreleased?

01:24:08.780 2014 stand-up comedy film.

01:24:10.000 Film before a live audience at San Francisco Jazz Center in California around 60 minutes

01:24:15.140 in duration.

01:24:16.260 Cosby pontificating on matters of children, romance, and matrimony.

01:24:20.500 Yeah.

01:24:21.320 You know, when he came out of prison, the first thing he did, because I was at Flappers like

01:24:26.100 that night just trying stuff out.

01:24:28.040 And then I went to the improv like a couple of days later and he rang every comedy club

01:24:33.800 was the first thing.

01:24:34.940 Because he would have rung one of his managers and they're like, hey, we don't rep you anymore,

01:24:38.620 dude.

01:24:39.320 And then he rang up the comedy clubs as he was out of prison.

01:24:42.380 His first impulse was, I want to do stand-up.

01:24:44.620 Get back on stage.

01:24:45.820 And there's a bit of me that wants to see that.

01:24:48.640 Don't you?

01:24:49.080 Like, as terrible a man as he is, you know, but I want to hear how he fashioned a shiv 1.00

01:24:57.540 out of, in prison. 0.98

01:24:58.700 You know what I mean?

01:24:59.080 Yeah, I want to hear how, like, if he was still doing, I guess, if he was still doing

01:25:03.180 rapes in prison or whatever, too.

01:25:05.060 Or what, like, is there a group in prison if you're a raper?

01:25:08.400 Like a, you know what I'm saying?

01:25:09.240 Or like a group of, you know what I'm saying?

01:25:10.580 Like, who do you, because once you get into, things get very tribal in there.

01:25:14.400 So like, do you associate with people that kind of have similar crimes?

01:25:17.500 I think everyone just, he was, he was one of these people who was almost blind.

01:25:21.980 He's only got like 10%.

01:25:22.840 He's got cataracts on his eyes.

01:25:23.960 I think they just left him alone and he's probably, probably people were starstruck. 0.99

01:25:28.820 You know, you're all, you're all criminals in there. 0.97

01:25:31.020 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:25:31.740 Like.

01:25:32.100 Dude, a friend of mine did cocaine with OJ Simpson once.

01:25:35.280 Right.

01:25:35.620 And we're in New York City.

01:25:36.800 As you do.

01:25:37.740 Yeah.

01:25:38.180 And they said that nobody had a car key on him.

01:25:41.060 They were just doing bumps of cocaine.

01:25:42.400 And OJ had a knife on him that he pulled out and used it to give everybody cocaine.

01:25:46.960 And I know my friend's not lying about this.

01:25:49.180 And this is obviously after the murders.

01:25:50.700 This isn't like the night before.

01:25:53.600 Yeah.

01:25:53.780 Yeah.

01:25:55.540 But just imagine that.

01:25:57.240 Like imagine being, because I mean, he had that book, If I Did It.

01:25:59.800 Like imagine it's being that psychotic that you're going to live right there on that line

01:26:04.160 of just, just like grotesqueness really for people.

01:26:09.720 It's funny because drugs are the, drugs are the thing, aren't they?

01:26:12.300 Drugs are the thing that, that if you do them in front of people, that's a real sign of trust.

01:26:21.400 Yeah.

01:26:21.560 That I'm letting you into my circle, that you're going to watch me do this thing that I could

01:26:26.080 get in trouble.

01:26:26.820 You know, there was, there was, there was a comic I know and I won't get, you know, because

01:26:30.820 he doesn't want to be known about this at all.

01:26:32.880 And his career is going fine and all that stuff.

01:26:34.380 But he was doing it, you know, and then one of his mates sent out a photo of him doing

01:26:40.840 it to the paper. 1.00

01:26:42.240 And then it was just like, you know, like, fuck you, dude. 1.00

01:26:45.480 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:45.720 Like, fuck you. 1.00

01:26:46.560 You know, I've, I've, I've, back in the day, 20 years ago, I've done drugs with famous 1.00

01:26:52.020 people in the room and, and I'm a blabbermouth. 0.62

01:26:54.380 I'll fucking tell any story I can to get laughs, but I've never, I've never slipped up on that. 0.86

01:26:58.440 I've never, I feel that's an intensely private thing. 0.98

01:27:01.520 Yeah.

01:27:01.920 I think it would be awkward.

01:27:03.240 Except for O.J. 0.99

01:27:03.940 Simpson, where of course I would fucking do it. 0.98

01:27:05.520 You have to tell that. 0.99

01:27:06.180 If it's a murderer, you can talk about the murderer.

01:27:10.000 Who's y'all's best murderer over there from Australia, you think?

01:27:12.420 Well, Chopper's not bad.

01:27:13.700 You know, what was good about Chopper is they made a movie about him.

01:27:16.480 The movie was massive, right?

01:27:18.040 He's dead now.

01:27:18.960 And then as he was dying, he went on 60 Minutes and talked about more murders that he did after

01:27:24.460 the movie.

01:27:25.200 No.

01:27:26.300 Wow.

01:27:26.740 He basically became a standup comic afterwards.

01:27:29.220 After the movie came out and he went and did a raconteur night with Chopper where he'd

01:27:34.320 tell his stories. 0.99

01:27:35.160 And anyway, so then I stabbed a little cunt and fucking, you know, he did all that type 1.00

01:27:39.000 of stuff. 0.99

01:27:39.340 And a bloke came up to him afterwards who was like some guy from a gang that he had a fight

01:27:44.180 and he came up with a book to the book signing and went, g'day, Chopper.

01:27:47.560 He goes, oh, it's been a while, mate.

01:27:49.360 We used to be adversaries.

01:27:50.720 Didn't he think he was all water under the bridge? 1.00

01:27:53.560 Then he killed that cunt. 1.00

01:27:55.580 Really? 1.00

01:27:56.040 He was already, yeah, he was already fucking. 1.00

01:27:57.760 And then so he's dying. 1.00

01:28:00.280 He was off the clock at that point.

01:28:01.660 He's dying of cancer, like a few weeks left.

01:28:05.160 And so he just goes on 60 Minutes and talks about his other murders.

01:28:08.340 You have to. 1.00

01:28:09.120 Fucking. 0.99

01:28:10.380 You have to. 1.00

01:28:11.420 And everyone could do an impersonation of him.

01:28:13.880 Everyone does the impersonation of Eric Banner's impersonation rather, you know, it's two impersonations

01:28:18.740 removed.

01:28:19.260 Chopper.

01:28:19.680 But do yourself a favor, man.

01:28:21.620 Watch the movie Chopper. 1.00

01:28:23.120 It's a fucking banger of a movie. 0.99

01:28:25.620 There's this one scene where he shoots a guy because he's like, where's the drug money? 1.00

01:28:29.960 Where's the drug money?

01:28:30.640 Where's the drug money?

01:28:31.280 Where is it?

01:28:31.740 Where is it?

01:28:31.940 There's no money.

01:28:32.440 There's no money.

01:28:32.900 There's no money.

01:28:33.340 There's no money. 1.00

01:28:33.800 Oh, show me the fucking money. 1.00

01:28:34.820 I want to see the fucking money. 1.00

01:28:35.600 I want to see the fucking money. 1.00

01:28:37.000 Like that, right? 0.99

01:28:37.960 And then the guy's just like this.

01:28:39.620 And then he like feels bad for him. 0.98

01:28:40.760 And he drives him to the fucking emergency room himself. 0.99

01:28:43.460 Oh, wow. 1.00

01:28:44.460 Right?

01:28:45.020 Yeah, that's tough to do.

01:28:46.440 It's hard to drive when there's that energy that somebody's bleeding in the car.

01:28:50.360 Is it?

01:28:50.880 I find, yeah.

01:28:51.600 I've had friends bleeding and you're trying to get there and they're kind of pissed.

01:28:54.220 You're like, look, I'm taking you, you know?

01:28:57.940 It wasn't a gun wound.

01:28:59.200 It was someone cut themselves or something.

01:29:00.300 Yeah, it was a knife wound.

01:29:01.580 But yeah, still like I think there's that nerve, there's that scary energy.

01:29:04.660 Or I had a friend who went into labor and had to get them to the hospital. 1.00

01:29:07.520 It's like, fuck. 1.00

01:29:08.040 But the birth, going in for the birth, that is. 1.00

01:29:14.440 Would you do it again?

01:29:15.780 Oh, I can't.

01:29:16.620 I've had a vasectomy.

01:29:18.200 You could do it.

01:29:19.640 I could reverse the.

01:29:21.700 Well, they don't reverse the vasectomies anymore.

01:29:23.940 You know what they do? 0.99

01:29:24.920 They just put a needle in your testicle and they extract the semen. 1.00

01:29:28.420 No, and just give it to your wife? 1.00

01:29:29.460 And then just give it to your wife. 1.00

01:29:30.900 So if I ever wanted to have another one, I don't know. 1.00

01:29:34.660 Would that be like some old ass cum that's just sitting around your belly? 1.00

01:29:38.360 Oh, here we go. 1.00

01:29:39.220 Ivan Malat.

01:29:40.040 Here we go.

01:29:40.580 So he's the backpacker murderer.

01:29:42.200 Ivan, the movie Wolf Creek.

01:29:44.520 You've seen Wolf Creek?

01:29:45.080 Oh, yeah.

01:29:45.800 Scary, dude.

01:29:46.580 That's based on Ivan Malat.

01:29:48.100 Now, Ivan Malat was this guy.

01:29:49.940 The British backpackers, if they broke down, he went and helped them out with their trucks 0.96

01:29:53.520 and then they were never fucking seen again. 0.92

01:29:55.200 And they don't know. 0.99

01:29:57.060 Every now and again, they would find a body.

01:29:58.880 I think he's dead.

01:30:00.080 Yeah, he's dead.

01:30:01.980 Every now and again, they'd find a body and they'd go.

01:30:04.680 So they'd go and Ivan would go, yeah, that one's me as well. 0.99

01:30:08.600 Oh, yeah, fucking got me. 0.91

01:30:10.200 Did you ever meet any of these guys? 0.99

01:30:11.780 Okay.

01:30:12.680 I never met any of them, but there was, I have a story about, there's one called the Claremont

01:30:18.560 Killer.

01:30:20.420 Claremont Killer was when I was in university in Perth and I was getting into, I'd done stand-up

01:30:25.880 when I was 17 and then stopped doing it and then when I was 20, I took it back up again.

01:30:30.800 I'd done like four open mics and then I thought, I'll give it another go at it because out of

01:30:34.600 the three or four open mics I had, I had a couple of bad experiences and then I was scared.

01:30:39.040 Yeah.

01:30:40.040 So the Claremont Killer, this bloke here.

01:30:43.900 Bradley Robert Edwards.

01:30:45.440 Yeah.

01:30:46.000 So a man convicted of murder.

01:30:47.740 The crimes happened.

01:30:48.560 That's when I was at university, right?

01:30:50.700 These are the years when I was at university.

01:30:52.180 So the place was, now Claremont was a very posh area in Perth and it was a big nightlife

01:30:59.620 place and all the girls allegedly went to get a taxi or whatever. 1.00

01:31:02.720 And so all the taxi drivers were being checked for DNA and all that type of stuff.

01:31:06.060 You know, when you're starting in comedy, what do you do to get more stage time?

01:31:09.960 You run your own gig.

01:31:11.000 Yeah.

01:31:11.600 We've all done it.

01:31:12.500 You set up a gig in a pub, I'll emcee.

01:31:14.980 Invite all your friends.

01:31:15.680 Invite some other open micers that you've become mates with, invite all your friends.

01:31:19.740 And this is how you start to work up to get good at it, right?

01:31:23.080 And luckily for me, all the bars in Claremont were dead empty.

01:31:27.960 They needed punters.

01:31:32.220 So the bar, the Claremont Hotel, which is like, which is one of the nicest pubs in all

01:31:38.020 of Western Australia, could have no one there on a Friday or Saturday.

01:31:41.600 And so it's like-

01:31:42.080 Because of the killer.

01:31:42.680 It's like, I'll make sure we all drive in and there's always designated drivers and

01:31:46.680 that type of stuff because all the rest of the girls got in cabs. 1.00

01:31:48.840 Everyone stayed together.

01:31:49.900 All my mates from university, we used to go out into the murder zone to watch me do stand-up. 0.99

01:31:54.840 That's fucking class, dude. 0.98

01:31:56.980 We had a guy, who did we have? 0.99

01:31:59.740 We had the Baton Rouge serial killer when I was in college over there.

01:32:05.520 Bring him up.

01:32:06.300 And that was Lee-

01:32:07.840 Harvey.

01:32:09.740 No.

01:32:10.420 Todd Lee.

01:32:11.020 Derek Todd Lee.

01:32:12.480 DTL, they called him.

01:32:14.220 Oh, here we go.

01:32:15.060 DTL.

01:32:15.560 And he was DTF too, I think. 1.00

01:32:17.060 He was a killer and rapist. 1.00

01:32:18.500 Not a lot of black serial killers. 1.00

01:32:20.480 I watched a lot of true crime. 0.97

01:32:21.720 Yeah, because they kept saying he was white and they kept like swabbing all the honkies 1.00

01:32:26.660 in our town and everything.

01:32:28.280 And then they called him.

01:32:30.340 They called him right there.

01:32:31.340 Peanut, they called him too.

01:32:32.600 Some people called him Peanut.

01:32:33.700 Did he get killed in prison?

01:32:34.820 Where is he today?

01:32:36.280 He looks like he could work for UPS.

01:32:38.260 You don't have the death penalty down there?

01:32:41.000 I don't know.

01:32:41.920 I mean, if you hang out in New Orleans long enough, you'll get shot once.

01:32:45.420 But I don't know if that's the death penalty.

01:32:46.700 That's just like tourism.

01:32:48.240 So you grew up in, like, not in New Orleans, right?

01:32:52.880 Yeah, regular town.

01:32:53.680 Covington is our town.

01:32:54.420 Covington.

01:32:54.880 Yeah.

01:32:55.220 I don't know if we have any, no Aussies near us.

01:32:57.620 I very much, it's a funny thing about like-

01:33:00.560 It's 47.

01:33:00.980 All the Australians who come out, they go, I'm coming out to LA. 1.00

01:33:05.340 I'm going to come out to LA.

01:33:06.840 And then they come and visit me.

01:33:08.020 And they go, where are you going?

01:33:08.740 He goes, oh, we're going to go to New York.

01:33:10.680 And we're going to go to Orlando.

01:33:12.500 Right?

01:33:12.660 That's all the three places they go.

01:33:14.280 Is that the main spots?

01:33:14.940 I was wondering, what are the main spots that Australians go in the US? 0.98

01:33:17.060 I just, I've been telling people, go to fucking Nashville, man. 0.93

01:33:21.060 It's like, it's like as much fun. 0.99

01:33:22.660 They'll go to Vegas as well, of course.

01:33:24.500 Right?

01:33:25.040 And I'm like, go to Miami.

01:33:27.100 Go to New Orleans. 0.97

01:33:28.480 There's like these places that are fucking awesome. 1.00

01:33:32.520 There's so many cities in America where you're like, this place is fucking a bug. 0.96

01:33:36.940 And there's also hidden gems in Australia that you might not know about. 0.95

01:33:40.160 Like a lot of people might go to Brisbane instead of going to the Gold Coast.

01:33:42.700 And the Gold Coast has got a lot of fun things to do.

01:33:44.460 Oh, the Gold Coast was amazing, dude.

01:33:45.600 We would take, we got bikes and went and you could ride them on the sand on the beach.

01:33:49.180 Those motorized bikes, dude.

01:33:50.520 Just zipping.

01:33:51.400 I mean, the beach, it was like 70 miles long.

01:33:53.540 You're just cruising.

01:33:54.900 Absolutely beautiful, you know?

01:33:56.940 Dude, that was-

01:33:57.860 That was amazing.

01:33:58.920 That's our Miami, isn't it?

01:34:00.420 Yes, it was.

01:34:01.280 And it was just like-

01:34:02.020 But a little bit more redneck-y Miami. 0.82

01:34:04.000 Yeah, a little safer though too, cleaner.

01:34:06.180 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:06.580 Oh, no, it's a banger.

01:34:07.840 It's a banger of a place.

01:34:09.420 But how'd you find the sun?

01:34:11.300 You had to put sunscreen.

01:34:11.760 Well, we went to New Zealand and the sun there will kill you.

01:34:14.420 You can't stay out very long.

01:34:15.680 Some of the beaches there.

01:34:16.440 Well, the hole in the ozone layer-

01:34:18.840 It's real.

01:34:19.500 Is over Australia and New Zealand.

01:34:21.160 Is over Australia and New Zealand.

01:34:21.980 There's one, I believe, on the North Pole and the other one's down there.

01:34:25.520 But I'm an environmentalist in the sense that I believe in global warming and I think that

01:34:29.560 we need to make adjustments, otherwise the world's fucked and the water levels are going

01:34:33.000 to rise. 0.94

01:34:33.400 And I know a lot of people don't believe that, blah, blah, blah.

01:34:35.600 But I will say this.

01:34:36.780 We got rid of the CFCs from the hairspray, from the refrigeration, and from the styrofoam,

01:34:43.100 which was the three main places where CFC-

01:34:45.720 And the hole's getting smaller.

01:34:47.380 It does, if we make change, that is a good example of how things can actually fix itself.

01:34:55.540 You know what I mean?

01:34:56.020 Because we only found out about it.

01:34:58.500 Like, we've got, there's a layer.

01:35:00.440 In the 80s, they were like, there's a layer.

01:35:02.600 Oh, yeah.

01:35:03.200 And sadly, there's a hole in it. 1.00

01:35:05.320 And we're fucked. 1.00

01:35:06.520 Fuck. 1.00

01:35:07.120 That's the most- 1.00

01:35:07.980 I mean-

01:35:08.460 And like, can you imagine now if they brought that out at news, the internet, the conspiracy

01:35:12.080 theories that would come out now, if you went, there's a mystical layer around us,

01:35:17.300 and there's a hole in it, and the UB rights go through there, and then they-

01:35:22.020 Nobody would believe that.

01:35:23.940 It's too far-fetched.

01:35:25.080 But it's the same as like, the first can't just tell you about germs.

01:35:29.420 Oh, there's these things you can't see that'll get on you and make you sick.

01:35:34.080 And if you're, you know, doing surgery or stuff, you should wash your hands, because

01:35:37.960 if those germs get into the cut, infections will happen.

01:35:40.780 What do you mean?

01:35:41.740 Oh, you can't see them.

01:35:42.900 Like they're ghosts?

01:35:43.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:35:44.180 That's what you would ask. 0.99

01:35:44.920 They're going to be ridiculous. 0.99

01:35:45.600 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:35:46.220 And they're microscopic.

01:35:47.300 They're little tiny things, and they'll jump. 0.99

01:35:50.160 That's fucking- 1.00

01:35:51.200 They would have hung him. 1.00

01:35:52.000 They probably killed that guy. 1.00

01:35:52.880 That's science fiction shit. 1.00

01:35:54.380 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:55.180 That's completely science fiction shit. 0.99

01:35:56.720 Everything's kind of like, everything's science fiction, really, until, you know, until 0.99

01:36:01.640 it becomes true, I guess.

01:36:03.080 Everything's, I don't know.

01:36:03.980 My brain is shocked.

01:36:05.180 Well, my mate, Rhys Darby, who you know, Rhys Darby from Our Flag Means Death, Flyer

01:36:08.380 the Conchords, he's a big Bigfoot guy.

01:36:10.820 Is he?

01:36:11.340 He loves Bigfoot.

01:36:12.240 Does Australians have their own Bigfoot?

01:36:13.900 Is it?

01:36:15.220 We, there's probably some, oh, we have a bunyip. 0.62

01:36:19.480 Bunyip?

01:36:20.080 Bunyips. 0.81

01:36:20.840 Let me see them bunyips. 1.00

01:36:21.580 Yeah, a bunyip. 0.97

01:36:22.320 A bunyip is like, so B-U-N, bun, Y-U, there we go, bunyip. 1.00

01:36:28.760 There it is.

01:36:29.940 A mythical creature from Australia, Aboriginal folklore, primarily found in the Southeastern

01:36:33.540 regions.

01:36:33.940 It's described as a large aquatic beast and having swamps, billabongs, creeks, and water

01:36:38.680 holes.

01:36:39.160 Yeah, the bunyip.

01:36:40.660 Oh, yeah.

01:36:41.640 What Rhys always says to me, I go, where's the bones?

01:36:46.200 Where's the fossils?

01:36:47.260 Where's the thing?

01:36:48.040 And he always goes, the platypus?

01:36:51.300 Because the platypus was a mythical thing until someone actually caught one.

01:36:54.880 There was people who said, I've seen it.

01:36:56.840 It's the beaver with a duck's head.

01:36:58.960 Yeah.

01:36:59.640 Right?

01:37:00.260 Yeah, yeah.

01:37:00.760 It's a beaver with a duck's head.

01:37:02.120 Whatever, whatever.

01:37:02.700 And they're so elusive and they're so at the bottom of these creeks and stuff like that

01:37:06.840 that no one ever saw them.

01:37:07.800 They were a Bigfoot of its time. 0.84

01:37:11.840 And no shit, they look like they are totally fictional. 0.99

01:37:15.620 If you look at that animal, I mean, that's insane looking. 1.00

01:37:17.760 They're their own breed of animal.

01:37:19.980 They're a monotram, which means that they are a marsupial that lays eggs.

01:37:28.980 Wow.

01:37:29.500 So every other marsupial uses a pouch and obviously the animal crawls into the pouch.

01:37:33.280 It digests and it gets bigger and bigger and bigger until it can stick its head out of

01:37:36.200 the pouch, et cetera, right?

01:37:37.460 But this is, yeah, it's a marsupial that lays eggs. 1.00

01:37:40.120 It's its own fucking creature, man. 1.00

01:37:41.860 They're beautiful. 1.00

01:37:42.400 We got to get somebody to bring one in.

01:37:43.640 I would love to see one.

01:37:45.140 Well, I've only ever seen them in the zoo.

01:37:46.440 You think they're keen to people?

01:37:47.380 I've never seen one in the wild.

01:37:49.920 They're on one of our coins.

01:37:52.460 You know, we always put a different – that's the great thing about Australia is we have

01:37:55.220 some good-looking weird – there he is.

01:37:58.440 There's the platypus and he's all swimming around, 20 cents.

01:38:00.460 That pea puss right there. 1.00

01:38:01.760 Yeah, he gets on the money. 0.60

01:38:04.760 He's popular, the platypus.

01:38:06.300 I love them.

01:38:07.200 And are they only in Australia?

01:38:08.680 Yes, they're only in Australia.

01:38:09.700 Oh, wow.

01:38:10.420 See, that's a great thing.

01:38:11.360 You guys have like – it's just something unique over there, man.

01:38:14.780 I really think that – I wonder if people are excited about the direction America's headed.

01:38:22.220 I wonder if people are – I don't know.

01:38:23.960 I just get paranoid that everybody's kind of freaking out right now.

01:38:27.080 Okay.

01:38:27.740 Are people freaking out in Australia right now?

01:38:29.820 Yes, everyone's freaking out all around the world.

01:38:31.520 Really?

01:38:31.720 Yeah, the world is in a transitional phase.

01:38:36.320 Which direction we're about to go in, who knows?

01:38:38.640 Because things might – look, I'm an anti-Trump guy.

01:38:43.200 I know you've met – you know him, right?

01:38:46.400 Yeah, I mean, as much as you can kind of know.

01:38:47.860 I mean, actually, I've met him a couple of times.

01:38:50.420 Right, and I know that a lot of people, fans of this podcast are going to hate me, right?

01:38:56.680 But that's life.

01:38:58.180 That's putting yourself out there, right?

01:39:02.460 I'm at the stage now with Donald Trump where I can't argue anymore.

01:39:07.420 I've done the stand-up routines.

01:39:08.860 I had a stand-up – I had a TV show where I talked about it. 0.96

01:39:11.080 There's no more arguments for me to make about the guy because he's not getting fucking voted in again. 0.95

01:39:16.780 This is it. 0.98

01:39:17.660 Right.

01:39:18.180 These next three years, this is it.

01:39:21.640 It's here now. 0.97

01:39:23.180 So I'm of the opinion, let's just fucking see how it goes. 0.92

01:39:26.980 You know, this whole idea that Americans are always with impeach, impeach. 0.98

01:39:31.060 He's been impeached.

01:39:32.420 Bill Clinton was impeached. 1.00

01:39:33.980 It's all bullshit. 1.00

01:39:34.860 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:35.160 Means fucking nothing. 0.99

01:39:36.300 Yeah. 0.99

01:39:36.860 Means nothing. 0.62

01:39:37.360 Oh, but he's a convicted criminal.

01:39:38.820 Only makes him stronger.

01:39:40.280 What the liberals have to stop doing is kicking up and down going, he's wrong and this is wrong

01:39:44.740 and just figure out ways to beat him. 1.00

01:39:47.460 Stop fucking telling me how bad he is and figure out a way to fucking beat him because Kamala 1.00

01:39:51.720 Harris wasn't the fucking answer. 1.00

01:39:53.180 Yeah. 0.99

01:39:53.420 Right?

01:39:53.980 Oh, I agree.

01:39:54.460 You know, so –

01:39:55.540 I agree that you got to figure – you have to – yeah, it's like you have to find a solution

01:39:58.620 if you're just sitting there yelling about everything.

01:40:01.240 It's all the – most of these parties do.

01:40:02.940 But now there is no beating him.

01:40:04.520 Now it's just riding it out.

01:40:06.220 Yeah.

01:40:06.480 Right?

01:40:06.820 Just riding it.

01:40:08.100 You know, it's – he said – was it on your podcast where he said he would get rid of

01:40:13.840 income tax?

01:40:14.840 Was it here?

01:40:16.660 Whose podcast – it was on some podcast.

01:40:18.920 It might have been –

01:40:19.600 Might have been with Schultz.

01:40:20.540 Might have been Schultz.

01:40:21.760 He said, if the tariffs work, I'll get rid of income tax.

01:40:24.920 I tell you what, I have been one of those people who referred to Donald Trump as Hitler.

01:40:28.480 Right?

01:40:28.900 And Mark, I will also add this.

01:40:31.100 Not at the end.

01:40:32.180 Not – because everyone goes, but Hitler killed six million Jews.

01:40:34.880 I'm not talking about that era.

01:40:36.700 I'm talking about Hitler just out of art school. 0.85

01:40:39.020 Yeah, yeah.

01:40:39.680 Yeah, you know, I'm not –

01:40:40.920 Like, yeah, like sophomore Hitler. 0.79

01:40:42.980 Yeah, yeah.

01:40:43.380 So I tell you what, if he gets rid of income tax, you'll never hear me call him Hitler ever

01:40:47.660 again.

01:40:48.500 I'll be too busy calling him my Fuhrer.

01:40:50.620 If he gets rid of income tax, you'll have no more complaints from me.

01:40:54.880 I'll be all right.

01:40:55.760 But, like, you know, look, how – I'll ask you a question.

01:40:58.880 How do you think things are going?

01:41:00.480 I think that I do – I don't like this stuff in – with Gaza in the Middle East. 1.00

01:41:04.680 I don't understand why we have such – why we give so much money to Israel. 0.54

01:41:10.140 Like, you know, every – a lot of the big countries are against them right now.

01:41:13.500 I think Netanyahu is, like, the new Hitler. 0.64

01:41:17.360 It's like – or that Netanyahu is the worst.

01:41:19.340 So it's like I don't understand that relationship.

01:41:21.560 It's a tricky one, that one, because no one wants to watch a genocide.

01:41:26.280 And what happened, they shouldn't have taken hostages. 0.93

01:41:28.760 And no one – you know, Hamas isn't fucking angels and all that stuff. 0.96

01:41:31.740 But if you can see those pictures of those starving kids and not be moved and not think 0.99

01:41:38.640 that we should do something about that, that's fucking – you're wrong. 0.99

01:41:42.260 Yeah. 0.98

01:41:42.720 You know what I mean?

01:41:43.340 So whatever side – and I don't want to get into what side I'm on.

01:41:47.200 I think it's pretty obvious where I'm at. 0.91

01:41:48.640 But whatever side you're on, right, we're all on the side of children not fucking starving, right? 0.95

01:41:55.740 Yeah. 0.94

01:41:56.040 We're all on that side.

01:41:57.060 So let's figure that out.

01:41:58.680 And then diplomacy. 0.99

01:42:00.700 Let's fucking talk. 0.97

01:42:02.100 Yeah, now we've got Palestine being recognized as its own state and stuff like that. 0.98

01:42:05.960 Maybe that's somewhere where we can start moving forward. 0.90

01:42:08.940 I don't have the answer, but what's going on now is not the fucking right thing. 0.76

01:42:15.080 I'll tell you that much. 0.83

01:42:16.140 And a lot of politicians have to – you know, we elect these people to actually make change.

01:42:23.520 All right, make change, man.

01:42:25.100 You know, I could be turned in to a Donald Trump fan very quickly.

01:42:31.120 It wouldn't take much if he just – if he stopped that war there really, like, in a succinct way that was fair and just.

01:42:39.500 You've got all my support in the world, man. 1.00

01:42:41.300 I'm not just here going, fuck that guy and his dumb fucking orange skin and his bad comb over. 1.00

01:42:45.300 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:42:45.860 Like, it's not a – it's – so you were saying you –

01:42:49.120 Yeah, I want to see action.

01:42:50.260 I just – you know, it's like – and then I wonder – you know, it feels very much like we're headed into a surveillance state.

01:42:55.940 You know, these are things that I just, like, am concerned about.

01:42:58.000 But overall, I'm thinking –

01:43:00.300 But you were just saying how much you enjoyed Australia and how Britain – all that sort of stuff.

01:43:03.500 Britain's got more cameras than –

01:43:05.580 I agree.

01:43:06.020 More film 24 hours a day in the UK.

01:43:07.560 I think we're headed there very quickly.

01:43:09.100 That's why there's all this ICE stuff.

01:43:10.660 That's why they're pulling everybody off streets because they have to get inventory.

01:43:14.060 In two years, there's going to be – I believe we're going to be in a surveillance state.

01:43:17.300 You won't be able to – say if you walked out in public and you were not here – you didn't have documentation to be here.

01:43:23.500 And people have different thoughts on all that.

01:43:25.020 That's fine.

01:43:25.400 And I'm just saying that if you didn't have documentation to be here, the cameras, it would notice immediately.

01:43:30.540 So everything has to be on the books.

01:43:32.680 That's where I think we're headed.

01:43:33.640 And so that's why I think they're doing all of that stuff, which I'm not saying makes it wrong or right.

01:43:37.940 But I think that that's where we're headed.

01:43:38.700 But we've already got that – okay, so Louisiana has that prison escape, right?

01:43:42.140 You know, all those prisons.

01:43:42.900 They caught them all through facial recognition.

01:43:45.420 Who does?

01:43:45.920 Louisiana?

01:43:46.360 Yeah.

01:43:46.520 You remember when there was that prison?

01:43:47.820 Yeah, they all ran off that loading dock, right?

01:43:50.000 One's still out, I think.

01:43:51.100 Who's that?

01:43:51.600 Hot boy, they call him.

01:43:52.420 Is there one still going?

01:43:53.160 They call him a hot boy.

01:43:54.800 This is the weird thing about prison breaks.

01:43:56.960 Never in cinematic history have we championed the police trying to catch them.

01:44:03.580 That's true.

01:44:04.140 Every time we want – so we got one out.

01:44:08.240 As of June 2025, the Louisiana inmates are no longer at large. 0.99

01:44:11.680 Damn. 0.98

01:44:12.000 Yeah, they're all done. 0.99

01:44:13.020 Antoine Massey and Derek Groves, the last two to be apprehended. 0.97

01:44:16.160 Shut up, Massey and Groves.

01:44:17.200 But this was the thing is there was facial recognition that picked up the people. 0.99

01:44:19.980 And now they're like, oh, yeah, we have that technology here.

01:44:23.000 Right.

01:44:23.300 They had to admit it.

01:44:24.020 They had to admit it because that's how they caught them.

01:44:25.840 And while we were using it for a thing, we weren't using it again.

01:44:28.040 They just sort of fluffed over it like, yeah, of course.

01:44:30.480 They've already got it, mate.

01:44:31.800 Yeah.

01:44:32.060 They've already got it.

01:44:33.140 Have you seen – I'm a – support the Clippers.

01:44:36.400 If you go to that Inuit Dome, have you been to see anything there?

01:44:39.440 Mm-mm.

01:44:40.120 You don't – there's just facial recognition as you walk in.

01:44:42.620 That's it.

01:44:43.140 You've already done it on the app.

01:44:44.900 As you walk in, they're like, hello, Jim.

01:44:46.460 And you're like –

01:44:47.260 Wow.

01:44:48.720 Yeah.

01:44:49.220 You just walk in straight.

01:44:50.580 It's happening fast.

01:44:51.580 It's like it's here.

01:44:52.600 We're not realizing that it's here, you know.

01:44:55.620 But I'll say this.

01:44:56.440 I just want people to be able to be – I don't – you know, it's kind of like ethereal,

01:44:59.900 but it's like you want people to be able to live in a safe place.

01:45:02.220 You want people to have jobs and have purpose.

01:45:04.760 So those types of things.

01:45:05.920 I don't understand some of the bigger picture things like what happens with tariffs 0.99

01:45:09.180 and what their goals are and all of that kind of shit. 0.59

01:45:11.540 I just – it starts to really feel like that neither party represents the people, 0.95

01:45:15.920 and that's the part that kind of concerns me the most.

01:45:18.120 Well, the tariffs, I just wish they – if you need to do them – okay.

01:45:23.480 So – okay.

01:45:24.880 I haven't felt any joy from it.

01:45:27.320 I haven't seen my bank balance go up.

01:45:29.540 I haven't seen my neighbor get a job.

01:45:31.680 I haven't seen factories, you know, and I might be wrong,

01:45:34.960 but just the eye check, I haven't seen any benefit from it.

01:45:38.500 All I've found is there's things that I'm paying for that are costing more, right?

01:45:43.080 But maybe it's too soon to – look, I don't –

01:45:45.460 I think it could be too soon to tell.

01:45:46.480 I think you have – I think, you know, he's a brash guy. 1.00

01:45:49.580 Shit is going to be brash. 0.99

01:45:50.860 Is he leaning in and making it more brash for no reason? 1.00

01:45:53.260 He needs a cleaner fucking thing that we see. 0.99

01:45:57.340 We go, this is how – every day you turn on the news, it's like this. 0.99

01:46:00.000 Oh, we're going to tariff them 35%. 1.00

01:46:03.180 And this country is getting 30% and fuck you, 45% for you cunts. 1.00

01:46:08.540 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:46:09.520 Like it really is just a bloke just throwing numbers out there.

01:46:14.180 If he had a thing with a chart, a very clear thing that said,

01:46:17.460 this country is getting this and this is the reason why

01:46:19.340 and this is how we're going forward, I might not agree with it.

01:46:22.380 I may not respect it, but at least I'd understand it.

01:46:25.440 I agree. 1.00

01:46:25.980 Get a fucking chart, man. 1.00

01:46:27.360 Get us a chart. 1.00

01:46:28.220 Things just seem very bizarre.

01:46:30.200 But I think – I feel like they all know something that's going on

01:46:33.260 are going to happen and we don't know it.

01:46:34.740 That's a feeling that I have. 0.99

01:46:35.800 Any war could happen at any fucking stage. 0.98

01:46:38.560 I don't know if it's war. 0.99

01:46:39.420 It could be aliens.

01:46:40.160 It could be anything.

01:46:40.900 You reckon it's aliens?

01:46:41.760 You know?

01:46:42.260 I don't know.

01:46:43.040 You reckon the aliens will wait until now?

01:46:45.080 After all – yeah.

01:46:46.380 Okay.

01:46:46.840 So you think – I've seen a UFO.

01:46:49.140 You know where I saw a UFO?

01:46:50.200 I saw a UFO with a plane of people.

01:46:54.480 I was on an aeroplane and I saw a UFO and we all looked out the window and went,

01:46:59.300 blah, blah, blah, blah.

01:47:00.320 Uh-uh.

01:47:00.720 In USA?

01:47:01.640 In USA?

01:47:01.840 In America.

01:47:02.600 Wow.

01:47:03.040 But we were flying over Area 51.

01:47:04.980 We were flying near Vegas, coming back across the thing.

01:47:08.160 It was – I don't think I saw an alien.

01:47:10.420 I think I saw a test vehicle being flown.

01:47:12.940 But it was circular, like a ball, and it moved in those type of motions.

01:47:17.820 You're no doubt you saw it.

01:47:19.300 I saw it with a lot of people.

01:47:22.740 I saw it with a lot of people.

01:47:23.520 And have you all kept in touch or anything like that?

01:47:25.060 No.

01:47:25.460 I didn't get my phone out, which I wish I did, because we all went, whoa.

01:47:30.080 I was over Area 51.

01:47:31.860 Area 51, by its own admission, is where they test new aircrafts. 1.00

01:47:35.560 That's when they do all that shit. 0.99

01:47:36.700 Right? 1.00

01:47:36.880 Where they test new aircrafts.

01:47:38.340 So I saw an unidentified flying object.

01:47:40.860 I don't believe there were aliens in it.

01:47:42.100 Now, could it be alien technology?

01:47:46.020 I don't think – it's a really long way.

01:47:48.480 I believe there's lots of aliens out there.

01:47:50.240 I believe there's tons of them.

01:47:51.720 I just don't think if you came here and visited, you'd hover around a little bit

01:47:56.240 and then duck off.

01:47:57.240 I think there'd be more to it.

01:47:58.860 I think they used to come here a lot, and now this is like going to like an old theme park.

01:48:02.920 I don't think they come here as much.

01:48:04.560 I think like if you have to bring your kids here for like their spring break, 0.99

01:48:07.620 if you're an alien, their kids are like, fuck that place, you know? 0.99

01:48:10.400 So I think they're probably off doing cooler shit maybe, but what do I know, you know? 1.00

01:48:16.460 I don't want to go there. 0.97

01:48:17.300 It's like our planet in the 70s.

01:48:18.960 We're like they're like Panama City Beach or something, Florida, you know?

01:48:21.460 It's like used to be great, but now they're all going to like Vegas somewhere, some other place.

01:48:25.820 Do you think in your lifetime we will have proof of aliens?

01:48:29.100 Yes, I do.

01:48:29.860 In your lifetime?

01:48:30.500 Yeah, I think something is looming in the distance, it feels like.

01:48:34.460 Because we have proof of UFOs.

01:48:36.020 They've shown the footage.

01:48:37.020 The FBI has released footage. 0.99

01:48:38.460 Fucking you saw one. 0.99

01:48:39.700 Yeah, but it's unidentified flying objects. 0.99

01:48:42.380 It doesn't mean – and it so happens that you seem to see them more in America. 0.95

01:48:47.760 That makes no fucking sense. 0.90

01:48:49.280 The Scottish see them the most. 0.99

01:48:50.600 Do they?

01:48:51.200 The Scots, yeah.

01:48:51.760 They love them.

01:48:52.320 But they're heavy drinkers.

01:48:53.660 Heavy, heavy drinkers.

01:48:55.160 Exactly, dude.

01:48:55.680 And it's always so cloudy.

01:48:57.100 You get a little bit of light coming through the clouds.

01:48:59.440 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:00.220 Hey, hey.

01:49:01.380 Whoa.

01:49:02.740 UFO.

01:49:05.240 Seen it?

01:49:05.860 Yeah, yeah.

01:49:07.260 You know what I mean?

01:49:07.820 That's just the sun, mate.

01:49:09.100 Hang on.

01:49:09.740 That's just a bit of ray gun, lad.

01:49:12.800 Jim Jeffries, dude, thanks so much for hanging out, dude.

01:49:15.040 I got a freaking – I got a show tonight, so I got a –

01:49:17.000 Can I just plug what I've got going on at the moment?

01:49:19.140 Oh, yeah, for sure, yeah.

01:49:19.780 Just very quickly.

01:49:20.480 I'll just get my plugs out of the way.

01:49:21.680 I've got Two Limb Policy on Netflix right now.

01:49:24.600 Watch it.

01:49:25.940 Very proud of it.

01:49:26.780 I'm happy with this special.

01:49:28.440 I also have a podcast called ATM with me and Amos Gill that is coming out.

01:49:34.920 I am in a movie coming out, a Jordan Peele film called Him,

01:49:41.040 which is directed by Justin Tipping, produced by Jordan Peele,

01:49:44.020 Marlon Wayans, Tyreek Withers, Julia Fox, 0.99

01:49:46.520 and it's like a proper cinematic release, and I'm like doing drama shit, man. 0.94

01:49:51.420 I'm like acting in that. 0.93

01:49:53.140 And I have a TV show on Fox, which is a reality show called The Snake,

01:49:58.360 which is a lot of fun, which is my 12-year-old's favorite program,

01:50:02.600 favorite thing I've done.

01:50:03.620 So The Snake is like a mix between Fear Factor, Survivor, and Big Brother.

01:50:08.540 Just sort of – you know, but check out The Snake.

01:50:10.920 Yeah.

01:50:11.320 The Snake's all right, man.

01:50:12.380 And you can watch it with your kids, right?

01:50:14.320 It's the first thing I've done that I can watch with my kids.

01:50:16.500 That's pretty cool.

01:50:17.260 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:50:18.580 We're growing up.

01:50:19.460 That's me four things.

01:50:22.140 Last time I did a podcast was probably six years ago or something like that,

01:50:25.320 and I'll wait until all these things are done and see if I have some new stuff

01:50:30.260 and come back in again.

01:50:31.480 I'd love to any time.

01:50:32.340 I feel bad, man, today.

01:50:33.280 I was just really kind of tired.

01:50:34.560 I think I'm kind of exhausted, so it was hard for me to think of some different stuff,

01:50:37.560 you know?

01:50:38.300 I didn't shut up, man.

01:50:39.500 So I'm sorry if you had some more questions, bro.

01:50:41.060 That was a blessing, dude.

01:50:42.420 And we want to get that photo of Lieutenant Max Nugent.

01:50:44.660 We'd love to keep him here if it's okay with your brother.

01:50:46.480 That would be –

01:50:47.160 Unless that's weird.

01:50:48.260 Is it weird?

01:50:49.000 You don't have to have him here all the time.

01:50:50.480 You can have him sometimes or whatever or whatever, but no,

01:50:54.020 any time we can remember.

01:50:55.880 That's the favorite – my favorite thing I just did today was talk about my nephew.

01:50:59.980 Yeah.

01:51:00.580 Well, it was awesome to see a photo of him, and thank you for sharing,

01:51:04.060 and thank you for your service, Mr. Max Nugent.

01:51:06.200 We appreciate that.

01:51:07.380 But Jim Jeffries' Two Limb Policy is out now.

01:51:14.660 Check it out.

01:51:15.000 I'll share it on socials in just a few minutes as soon as you get out of here.

01:51:18.120 Thanks so much, dude, and congratulations on everything, dude.

01:51:20.620 Thanks, bro.

01:51:21.240 You too.

01:51:21.800 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:51:27.700 I must be cornerstone.

01:51:33.000 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:51:38.420 I can feel it in my bones.

01:51:41.820 But it's gonna tell you.

01:51:44.600 I know –

01:51:48.500 And I'll be right back.

01:51:50.480 I love you.

01:51:55.280 I love you.

01:51:57.320 I love you.

01:51:58.760 I love you.

01:52:01.980 I love you.

01:52:02.940 I love you.

01:52:03.360 I love you.

01:52:04.280 I love you, sir.

01:52:05.800 I love you.

01:52:07.600 I love you.

01:52:10.580 I don't know.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - August 20, 2025

#604 - Jim Jefferies

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript