#614 - New York Circus
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
174.02446
Summary
In this episode, the boys talk about their favorite Christmas movies, new glasses they got, and how to get a good night's rest. Thanks to our sponsor, Helix Sleep, for sponsoring this episode!
Transcript
00:00:05.440
You know, I can't keep a plant alive at the moment.
00:00:08.460
But when I am home, my bedroom is like my sanctuary.
00:00:20.660
I mean, I get on that thing and, ooh, baby girl,
00:00:23.940
before I know it, it's morning and I'm feeling good.
00:00:27.800
In fact, I like mine so much I got two of them.
00:00:34.020
and just launch some of her dirty dreams into that thing.
00:00:37.820
Because honestly, sleep matters more to me than ever.
00:00:44.800
When you shut it down, it's time to shut it down.
00:00:57.120
It may be time for you to give Helix Sleep a try.
00:01:05.280
to get 25% off site-wide for our audience only.
00:01:14.700
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00:01:34.980
As the calendar, you start to fall off the end of the year.
00:01:44.080
Around December 25th, baby, that's where we at.
00:02:12.760
And then, I guess, I don't know if I was in like a dark restaurant or whatever.
00:02:31.960
I'm not saying these things are making racial choices for me.
00:02:36.580
These things don't want to get a good look at everybody, you know.
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But I'm running on about an 8-foot radius or whatever, 12-foot radius maybe in these.
00:02:49.800
So if you want, you know, get close if you need me, you know.
00:03:00.720
You know, I'd go in for a hug and I'd miss that bitch.
00:03:02.960
I'd be like, damn, you'd go in to hug somebody and hug the wrong person.
00:03:11.460
You go in to hug a decent woman and you end up over there, you know,
00:03:15.680
and you're just up near some man's neck or something.
00:03:21.280
And so that's kind of what I'm, I guess, doing.
00:03:36.100
They came to just wrote the size of them on the back or something.
00:03:54.420
I don't know if there's any circus lovers, but the circus is back.
00:03:57.700
You know, and when I was a child, the circus was a big thing.
00:04:03.140
You know, you had a couple times throughout the year, you'd get this little ticket at school.
00:04:21.920
Just on this ticket, you could get it anywhere.
00:04:24.420
So they were just giving out free tickets, you know?
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And it would be like, this petting zoo fucking rocks, it would say.
00:04:44.160
Because you'd see them setting up in that big top, that tent.
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And some of the animals they'd been through a lot.
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They'd look like they'd maybe just gotten back from war or something, war or two or something.
00:04:57.780
You know, they'd, some of them missing an ear, missing ear, you know, have a fake ear.
00:05:04.800
But then one of his ears, they'd have just two, you know, they'd put a damn potted plant into the hole over there.
00:05:09.820
And he'd have a damn elephant ear plant growing out of the side.
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You know, and they'd paint that bitch gray over there.
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You'd see a guy on a ladder just painting that elephant, you know, just painting a big plant ear gray.
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You know, it was just, you know, you'd see a giraffe, but that bitch had a short neck on him.
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And that bitch was just, you know, pissed, too.
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It almost looked like if you tickled him the right way, his neck would just, just, you know, get to the right size.
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Remember that fellow wide neck that was running around?
00:05:55.900
He was kind of an African-American, like, running back that only played drugs or whatever.
00:06:07.400
And you'd talk about it at school and you'd go over there.
00:06:12.600
And I just saw the flyer that I knew when it was, it was, it's called the circus.
00:06:16.280
It's like a, it kind of had looked like a, like a Cirque du Sole Cirque, like a Cirque du Sole Circus kind of, you know, it just looked like a, like a rave for children kind of, you know, they had a couple of damn drones out there.
00:06:31.320
You know, Palantir just shooting popcorn in the kids' mouths and stuff.
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Just, you know, it had a different sort of etiquette to it.
00:06:40.000
They had a couple of kind of gender neutral dudes just kind of whistling in each other's mouths type of deal.
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You know, they had a blind fellow just kind of just singing Fred again lyrics and stuff.
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You'd go out there, you'd see a couple of monkeys out there.
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And you're over there and one of them be smocking for you.
00:07:03.860
And, you know, you pay, get you 50 cents over there.
00:07:10.280
See if he'll ash on your mama's back, you know, or something.
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They'd ash on a, ash in a baby carriage or something like that.
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You know, and they used to have real lions too.
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They'd have, you know, they had, back then they had real lions.
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Now you got a couple, you got a couple of hardy women over there wearing Aiden Hutchinson jerseys.
00:07:34.180
You know, and just complaining that their breasts are too big.
00:07:47.800
So it's, you know, back in the day they had a dude.
00:07:51.240
You would find a dude at the circus with a peanut allergy.
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They would give him a couple handfuls of peanuts.
00:07:59.220
And then send that bitch running through a ring of fire, baby.
00:08:02.300
While people in the crowd sang, for those about to rock.
00:08:11.000
Now it's just, they find a dude with a peanut allergy, right?
00:08:16.480
They have him run and jump through a ring of peanuts into his two mother's arms.
00:08:22.940
So it's, I'm just saying, yeah, it's just a different time, man.
00:08:32.180
Man, time does not like to wear the same outfit, baby.
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Time likes every minute just freshly ironed, baby, right out the package.
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Time is just, you know, it's just, it likes to feel brand new, baby.
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And sometimes some of the circus workers, they just set themselves on fire and just collect damn workman's comp right there, right in front of you.
00:09:01.800
People would cheer and just damn just, you know, God and just pray.
00:09:14.380
Um, and we had a circus, we had a circus last week in New York, in New York City.
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I want to just go through it because there's, like, a lot of stuff out there, speculation and all of that.
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And I want to just get super clear on it, right?
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Because I think a lot of people, um, don't know, like, what went on.
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And I wish it was going to be a more exciting story.
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But I just want to, uh, yeah, I just want to share with you kind of what happened, I guess.
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Um, and I don't want to make it a big deal, but I think, uh, but I do want to, like, just kind of go into it, right?
00:09:54.380
Um, you know, so mental health is important to me, right?
00:10:02.560
We talk about that kind of stuff on here a lot.
00:10:10.780
And, yeah, it's like, it's a, I think it's been something that we talk about a great deal.
00:10:14.780
And just think about and kind of explore, right?
00:10:18.520
So, so I had a comedy special that we were taping.
00:10:24.580
And about a, and about a month before I started, I quit taking, uh, some antidepressants I was taking.
00:10:31.960
You know, I just kind of self-weaned myself off.
00:10:34.600
And the reason why was because I wanted, like, during the comedy show, I wanted to have a little bit more emotion during it.
00:10:44.020
I wanted to have this kind of, like, I just wanted to have some more feelings.
00:10:51.320
You know, if, um, if you've ever taken antidepressants or if you haven't, uh, they, it kind of takes away your feelings kind of, you know?
00:11:01.060
Uh, so you just kind of stay in this space where you're okay.
00:11:07.160
It's a safe space, but you don't, uh, you're like the astronaut that kind of stays on the ship sometimes.
00:11:12.560
And you get to do the thumbs up and shit, but other dudes are like, you know, they're people, other people are out there.
00:11:20.860
Um, anyway, so I quit taking my medication because I wanted to have a little bit more feelings during the show.
00:11:27.020
I wanted to be able to talk about stuff a little bit more that meant something to me and put it into the comedy show.
00:11:39.920
But we're headed into the comedy show and then the, the Charlie Kirk thing happened, right?
00:11:46.580
The Charlie Kirk murder happened, which is really crazy.
00:11:53.960
I'm not going to talk about it anymore right now.
00:11:56.980
Um, but a few days after that or maybe a week after that,
00:12:02.300
they're, the Department of Homeland Security put a video up online talking about, uh,
00:12:12.240
they started making like trap beat edits and like banger edits to evicting people from the country, right?
00:12:19.140
Or eliminating, um, illegal illegals, maybe some criminals, some people just undocumented all, you know,
00:12:28.640
So, they put a video of mine that I'd made for somebody in a parking lot,
00:12:34.440
probably like maybe a year and a half ago, just jokingly.
00:12:36.920
They put, I think it was a year and a half ago.
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They put it in at the front of this Department of Homeland Security, like trap beat.
00:12:46.520
I think they had like, I'm not sure if they had like young boilers to it, whatever they had.
00:12:50.400
But it was, uh, it was kind of, it was ridiculous.
00:12:53.480
And the video was a girl had walked up to me in a parking lot and she had said,
00:13:13.060
It's a stranger came up to me in a parking lot.
00:13:15.020
I think it was after a show and there were some people gathered around and we were just kind of like,
00:13:18.260
um, BSing and taking, uh, pictures and just kind of, uh, associating, right?
00:13:29.160
So this video goes mega viral, 25 million, 30 million views.
00:13:33.680
And the front of the D of that Homeland Security video, it's on the White House thing.
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Like, I don't have anything to do with this shit.
00:13:49.280
Um, you know, like nobody said, Hey, this is going to happen.
00:13:55.140
Like, and, and I have a lot of different thoughts about immigration, right?
00:14:01.580
Like, and why is the government even making these?
00:14:08.160
And, and I have a lot of thoughts about immigration, right?
00:14:11.220
I have a ton of them and we don't need to go into them all right now.
00:14:15.360
Um, I feel like they're doing a lot of bookkeeping in the country right now because we're going
00:14:20.860
to get into a surveillance state and everyone is going to have to be on the books.
00:14:29.580
Um, but this was just wild, you know, and people are like sending messages and like hateful
00:14:34.920
stuff and, you know, you think all these illegal shits and all this type of shit.
00:14:39.380
And like, I could talk to you ad nauseum about that, but, but this wasn't the time for it.
00:14:45.500
It just was something that they used and put out there and everybody saw.
00:14:48.560
So I'm getting a ton of hateful stuff and, and, and, and I'm trying to remember everything.
00:14:52.640
I'm trying to kind of remember everything right now.
00:14:54.540
And, um, but this video goes everywhere and I'm getting like a lot of like, dude, what
00:15:07.200
Um, and this happens, you know, this thing comes out and my father immigrated here from
00:15:15.140
Like one of my prized possessions is I have his immigration papers when he came here.
00:15:19.640
Um, and I have them in a frame and, um, him and his, uh, siblings when they came here.
00:15:24.720
And so I have tons of thoughts about it, but this, this was just fucked up.
00:15:35.620
So, so that had me really kind of paranoid, you know, that had me start to get kind of
00:15:42.180
paranoid and, um, you know, like closing, like, you know, I had the curtains in my house
00:15:56.600
I woke up the next morning to a text from a high government official saying, Hey, if
00:16:06.120
you need, uh, some extra security in your neighborhood, um, or some extra police cars
00:16:12.060
And I'm like, what, what are you talking about?
00:16:17.860
I don't have any, like, you know, I don't even know the code to my ring camera.
00:16:21.760
So it's like, and then, and like, what are you just going to put police cars in my neighborhood?
00:16:28.820
Like, it just like, I don't know, man, that, that like really kind of shook me.
00:16:35.560
Um, but you just, you keep marching on, you know, and you start getting security and then
00:16:50.500
There was a moment on the, like, it was white house because the white house also put this
00:16:57.840
Um, that, and look, I'm all for like the board.
00:17:07.880
I'm all for knowing what's in the cupboard of a society.
00:17:10.880
I think you should know every, I think you should know every item on the log.
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So now I have this thing with security, but then you get a situation.
00:17:32.740
The security person and they, now you're, if you're walking on a security guide, then
00:17:36.200
that's kind of uncomfortable because now you're like, it kind of makes you spooked.
00:17:43.740
And then we get to just the job, the job, right?
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Like, which is performing, speaking in front of strangers.
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Like you had just seen this thing with Charlie Kirk, right?
00:17:52.700
It's like, like we all watch somebody get lit up.
00:17:58.300
We all watch somebody get murdered casually on our phones.
00:18:03.960
Like, and I don't mean to say it like that, but that's how it all, it came across to us.
00:18:11.380
And like, so just a lot of, uh, I think unnecessary pressure, a lot of stress going on that I did.
00:18:23.200
And some of you just don't know you're aware of it.
00:18:25.020
I think, you know, because I think like, um, like you just, sometimes you don't know what stress you're holding.
00:18:36.520
You know, one day there was a, I got a call from a friend of mine and they said they were going into rehab and I just started bawling.
00:18:44.580
And I didn't realize that there was a part of me that was waiting to hear that from them and that it, uh, it really made me feel some type of way, you know?
00:18:55.580
So sometimes it's like, you just don't know what stresses you're holding anyway.
00:18:58.860
Uh, so, so anyway, we, so we get to the, the shows, right?
00:19:02.180
We're there and it's a lot, you know, it's a lot.
00:19:06.700
There's a lot of like last minute choices to be made.
00:19:09.020
Um, it seemed to go messier than the past specials that I'd taped, right?
00:19:15.840
It seemed to be a lot more confusion and it all could have been just kind of my perception, right?
00:19:20.700
Because what started to happen was on this day, I was starting to feel, uh, a little bit like, I don't know if manic is the word.
00:19:42.320
Like this is fucking, see, this is how bad shit's gotten.
00:19:46.800
You're, you know, you're trying to figure out if you have some sort of an anxiety disorder.
00:19:51.040
And next thing you know, you're getting damn emails from a, uh, a local men's bar or whatever.
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It is defined as an extremely unstable, euphoric or irritable mood along with an excessive activity or energy level.
00:20:04.320
I probably could have used a little more of that.
00:20:05.740
Um, so I, I think I started to feel kind of mildly manic.
00:20:14.460
Like the second I got on stage, the first show, my, I couldn't feel any moisture in my mouth.
00:20:18.780
And I started to feel like, um, you ever remember that feeling if you were in high school when you got high and then you were standing there talking to your friends and you were just too high and you were just literally standing there just trying to pretending to be yourself a little bit.
00:20:32.900
So I had a little bit of that going on, uh, and it started off choppy.
00:20:41.740
We, we were doing like a new intro with Joey Diaz at the last minute and he was pretty goomed up,
00:20:47.660
you know, he's Coco and, uh, and it was a blessing that he was there, but we hadn't ran through it.
00:20:52.100
And so it just like a lot of, um, like things at the last minute, but yeah, I'm on stage and the second half of the first show went good.
00:21:03.360
And there were some beats that I got that had like an emotional piece to them that I wanted.
00:21:10.740
But, but the whole show, it was, it was, uh, there were parts where I just couldn't remember the next thing.
00:21:19.080
Like I was having trouble just keeping track of stuff.
00:21:22.300
And that's when I really was like, oh man, I'm, uh, I'm just off tonight.
00:21:27.620
You know, I just, you know, it had just like, I'm just off tonight.
00:21:35.000
Um, and I, even, I think I remember saying to the audience, like, thank you guys just for being here for me.
00:21:42.100
You know, like, uh, and, and the audience was cool, man.
00:21:49.960
I started to feel bad that I wasn't giving them the best show, but the show ended up going a little bit long, blah, blah, blah.
00:21:55.180
We get to halftime or in between the two shows and Chris Rock is backstage.
00:22:02.960
Like, I mean, I see Chris Rock smile and you just feel like it's going to be good.
00:22:10.280
You know, this is, it's almost like when, you know, somebody that was good in class at making a good joke and then you see him and you're like, oh, the Michael Jordan has arrived.
00:22:23.680
You know, like that thing, like, um, so anyway, seeing him and it kind of like, I kind of, I was like almost way so excited about seeing him.
00:22:31.860
Like I was very excited, but then I realized I was kind of overexcited.
00:22:35.020
Um, he enjoyed the show, you know, and, and so I went into the second show feeling like, okay, I got to figure some of this out.
00:22:46.660
And I couldn't tell if people were like being like legit, like, okay, was it good?
00:22:58.000
I was doing my yoga, the same usual stuff I do anyway.
00:23:02.420
I know this is getting long, but, uh, and then we did the second show and the second show was started out fire first 22 minutes.
00:23:24.400
I don't know if I probably made the choice for sure.
00:23:27.660
But so I had to ask for how, you know, I was like having to ask off stage because I wanted to get everything in sequence.
00:23:35.060
You know, and I think I got stuck on this like sequence thing and, um, and it was just hard, man.
00:23:41.260
It just, you know, I just did, I didn't feel like myself.
00:23:44.120
I felt like I was trying to kind of pretend to be myself and it wasn't insane or extreme.
00:23:54.420
And we got to the end of the show and we were standing around afterwards with the, uh, producers and the director, my friend, Kevin.
00:24:14.940
You know, because I, I, I want this special to be, you know, I, you know, you, you do the material for so long.
00:24:20.740
Um, and my buddy, Neil Brennan said this the other day before it, he said, uh, I got hair in my eyes today.
00:24:27.280
He said, dude, this is the last time you'll ever spend with this material.
00:24:33.000
You know, it's really the last time you'll probably ever do it.
00:24:36.240
And, and this material has been, it's been a friend to me over the years.
00:24:39.640
It's been, you know, it's taken me around the world.
00:24:42.320
You know, it's gotten me to see a lot of people that, uh, love me and that I love.
00:24:47.220
Um, so that was just a neat sentiment of a way to like embrace the material stuff.
00:24:52.320
But I was just at the end of the night, I was like, I don't know if we got it.
00:24:54.780
And they're like, yeah, well, let's edit together something and see.
00:24:58.760
And I was like, okay, but I just, I don't, I couldn't feel the magic, you know, I just was off.
00:25:11.660
I, you know, I went up by the stage at the end of the, at the end of each show.
00:25:14.480
And we're like taking pictures of people that are sitting there.
00:25:17.120
And, um, and that's when some girl, there was a clip of me, um, that, which I think this
00:25:24.020
is what really like, this is what made things ridiculous.
00:25:28.360
Uh, where in passing, I just was like, or I don't, I don't know if it was in passing.
00:25:36.480
Um, I woke up the next day to like a bunch of things like, bro, what's up?
00:25:40.860
And I was like, oh my God, you know, what's going on?
00:25:44.300
Like, did, you know, did I, you know, did I steal somebody's horse?
00:25:50.360
You know, what, I have no, I, you know, it was just kind of alarming.
00:25:52.620
Um, and then a buddy of mine sent me a clip and I could just see the outside and it was
00:25:56.680
like, uh, you could see me on stage and then people were asking me about suicide and I was
00:26:01.880
like, oh God, you know, um, and I don't even remember exactly what I said, but I can certainly
00:26:11.380
see me saying something like, oh, just try not to take my own life, you know?
00:26:15.040
Um, which I, I understand it's not a joke to some people, right?
00:26:23.460
Uh, but it is something that I'll, you know, I'll say stuff.
00:26:27.940
I, you, you know, you know, that if you've listened to this show before or seen anything,
00:26:50.400
I'm grateful to God, uh, for his grace in my life.
00:26:59.620
Um, I have so many friends and people that love me and people that I want to see their
00:27:05.960
I'm hopeful that I get to have a wife and meet my, and meet my own children one day.
00:27:09.940
Like, there's a ton of things in my life that keep me alive and hopeful, right?
00:27:14.120
I want to be able to have an impact in the world.
00:27:16.900
Um, those are just a few of them probably, you know?
00:27:21.780
I mean, so many just moments we've shared on this show that I'm like, oh, I live for
00:27:28.940
I mean, I want to see Vandy win a, uh, a championship.
00:27:33.040
So I'm going to have to be alive for a long time.
00:27:37.320
Uh, so, but anyway, so anyway, that was, uh, you know, so I woke up to that and I was
00:27:45.260
like, oh man, um, and I guess I had like a lot of different, uh, well, in addition to
00:28:08.460
And I had a lot of people that said it was great though.
00:28:14.800
So, but I didn't think it was, I didn't think it was perfect, you know, for sure.
00:28:22.800
But I thought, let's just look at the edit and see.
00:28:25.580
Um, and so we still haven't decided we might shoot again at some point.
00:28:28.400
I don't know what's going to go on, but there was just this energy now where it was like,
00:28:33.700
everybody started checking on me and, uh, I was like, oh man, this is tough.
00:28:37.820
And, and, and there's people that would think like, oh, well he failed or who want
00:28:41.500
to write up, write up something that says he failed or make a meme.
00:28:45.020
I saw one thing it said, uh, uh, bombs, Netflix or whatever, taping or whatever.
00:28:53.180
Um, but homie, I was fucking in that bitch cause you should have seen me dog.
00:29:05.020
And a lot of times you'll see that dog show and it's that, uh, Weesterminster, I think
00:29:09.840
it's Weesterminster, the Weesterminster dog show.
00:29:19.420
They got that other little, uh, that little, I mean, this bitch is just a little thought
00:29:25.040
wilder, this bitch, you know, they got that little male thought wilder rolling up.
00:29:29.640
You're like, damn, that little bitch, you know, he got a little, maybe an anklet on
00:29:34.640
Maybe he got a house arrest bracelet on his tail, but that bitch is in there.
00:29:38.360
And they're like, damn, he ain't supposed to be here.
00:29:47.080
And all the other dogs got all them crazy tricks and he just fucking, he'll gamble on his
00:29:54.200
Or he'll fucking run a parlay or something on his phone.
00:29:58.760
And he'll smoke a Virginia Slim right there and hit that bitch.
00:30:04.040
So anyway, what I'm saying is, bitch, I'm out there.
00:30:11.160
You could write, bro, write what you want, big dog.
00:30:20.300
And if, you know, and if I've gotten so used to times I have failed, it's okay.
00:30:26.340
I eat failure for breakfast, but I'm fucking, you fill me up with failure flakes over the
00:30:40.480
So much of my life, the best things that have ever happened on my life have been on the
00:30:47.940
And, yeah, it would be great if one day we could all live in a space where we all, you
00:30:56.620
know, we lived in a neighborhood where everybody, when they went out in the world, they was
00:31:10.200
So, anyway, I'm not looking to, like, downplay it or make it, you know, we might reshoot it
00:31:21.680
Because you don't, if you, like, if you're not on that risk of failing, I don't know what
00:31:25.760
If I'm not on that risk of failing, I don't know what I'm going to be.
00:31:31.480
If you saw, like, a plant bulb is kind of brave, right?
00:31:40.280
Because if he just stays a bulb, he's just that little green little monster, right?
00:31:48.380
But when he blasts open, you don't, he don't know what he's going to get out that bit, bro.
00:31:57.200
He might be a, um, he might be a damn, uh, succubus or whatever.
00:32:06.100
He, you don't know when you pop that top, but you're going to get out of yourself.
00:32:10.780
Imagine you walk through the woods and all the flowers are just, just loked out.
00:32:19.040
They're all in witness protection program bulbs.
00:32:26.900
So anyway, I don't know if I'm, if I'm rambling or just fluffing my own ego.
00:32:33.400
And there was a video about, you know, and that, that, and so, so that stuff happened.
00:32:38.160
And, but then the thing that like made everything hectic was, uh, someone recorded a video of
00:32:43.180
me making a passive comment, joking around about, um, about suicide.
00:32:49.440
And I didn't even mean to, I didn't know people were recording me at that time.
00:32:53.460
I don't think, or I don't think that they are anymore.
00:32:56.340
And I think I got to evolve in my own head that that's how things are now.
00:33:00.600
So, and another thing that happened, I didn't even tell anybody this, but I went to the
00:33:14.520
This was like, I think two days after the Charlie Kirk shooting, I went to the doctors
00:33:18.060
and, uh, and I'm in the doctor room and it's just me and a nurse.
00:33:24.780
And she comes in and I'm talking about, you know, I got to get a checkup and everything
00:33:33.120
And so I'm taught, you know, we're talking about body and everything and, uh, you know,
00:33:39.360
um, you know, talking about genitals or whatever.
00:33:44.540
And so we have this conversation and then the nurse, she says after, she says, uh,
00:33:54.060
and she's like, Hey, I brought, I brought something for you.
00:34:05.780
And it really spooked me, bro, because I'm in a doctor's office, right?
00:34:10.280
This is a place where you think you can be safe.
00:34:12.540
And, um, and man, that was a, that was a tough moment.
00:34:19.900
And after that, I remember sitting in my car, sitting in my car with her.
00:34:23.020
And I kind of got a little teared up because I was like, Oh man, no place is kind of safe
00:34:28.800
And the, the, the girl just wanted to do something nice, right?
00:34:33.320
I don't know, but it was just that invasiveness of like, man, this is like supposed to be a
00:34:40.200
And then I even, you know, I made sure that the nurse didn't feel like bad.
00:34:45.080
You know, she's just trying to be a nice person.
00:34:47.560
You know, I believe that her motives were in a good place.
00:34:50.980
Um, I don't hold any ill will against her, but it was just like, uh, I don't know.
00:34:57.600
There was just a lot of little things that were adding up to stress.
00:35:02.980
Um, and it's just been like, I've had so many people reach out.
00:35:09.840
I can't believe, like, to me, it felt very kind of like in passing.
00:35:17.940
Uh, but just know that I'm, I'm never at a place like that.
00:35:26.720
You know, there may have been times when I was a kid or something where I had some negative,
00:35:29.900
you know, some stuff was scary, but yeah, I'm going to be here.
00:35:51.260
There was no, like, I mean, when Coco showed up, there was smoke and he, you know, it's like,
00:35:55.280
but there was no, uh, there wasn't like, it was just, there was just like, just the fuse was short going into it.
00:36:07.600
I remember right when we got to the theater, some guy was supposed to show me to my dressing room.
00:36:11.980
He took me on like a seven minute journey out into the fucking caverns of some building.
00:36:18.680
We were like, there was like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles there.
00:36:21.300
And I was like, oh fuck, I'm already, this is, I could feel my fuse being pretty.
00:36:34.460
You know, you don't, you don't kind of know until you know where you, until where you are, you know?
00:36:38.960
And so I don't think I would have done anything different.
00:36:43.100
I didn't realize how much stress I had and that's it.
00:36:45.940
Um, but I do want to, I do want to say this about suicide, right?
00:36:55.280
a close friend of mine, uh, years ago, his sister, um, was dealing with a lot of stuff.
00:37:03.740
She was dealing with a lot of stuff and she couldn't say she, she was having trouble talking
00:37:10.280
Like, you know, she was having trouble talking about it.
00:37:15.940
Um, and she finally told a member of their family and they didn't want to worry everybody
00:37:26.160
Um, and so they kind of told the rest of the family that she had mono.
00:37:34.240
like within a year, she had taken her own life, right?
00:37:42.760
And I think it's, and I just want to say her name, Christiane, and just let, uh, her know
00:37:51.340
that people think of her and that her brothers love her and that, um, and that she's an angel
00:38:03.840
Um, but I think about that story from my, from my buddy sometimes.
00:38:08.980
And it's like, I think people get stuck in a space where they're like, yeah, I'm going
00:38:11.940
to bother somebody if I, or I've already told my friends so many times and I'm not doing
00:38:18.440
It's like, however you have to speak up about something, if you have to, um, I think it's
00:38:35.760
I'm just saying, yeah, I don't know what I'm saying.
00:38:39.900
I think I just wanted to, uh, just have a moment and just let it be known that, um, that
00:38:50.160
I think maybe that's something that I just wanted to think about out loud and that however
00:39:00.480
And I get that and I appreciate all like the beautiful concern and the thank yous and
00:39:06.860
I just started to feel like, God, I don't even know how to tell everybody that I was
00:39:12.200
Um, and I joke about some dark stuff sometimes and I joke about everything.
00:39:15.580
And, uh, I think that's what makes you able to do comedy.
00:39:19.800
I don't want to like look at myself too much like that.
00:39:21.980
Cause that gets kind of ego-y, but, um, but yeah, I'll be here forever and we got to see
00:39:30.800
You know, we got to see how this, how this short giraffe balls out.
00:39:38.060
Um, so I love you and, uh, and thank you for loving me.
00:39:42.940
I could, it would take me forever to thank everybody for the nice messages.
00:39:58.820
Um, let's get to a few calls that came in here.
00:40:10.720
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00:44:11.920
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00:45:34.680
I just want to thank you again for everything that you do, just for being real, for not being too good for anybody.
00:45:48.560
I lost my son a year and a half ago to suicide.
00:45:57.560
I still have nightmares and visions of just seeing that, finding that.
00:46:13.960
But I found your show about, I'd say, four months after that happened.
00:46:20.480
And when I tell you that you gave me a reason to laugh for the first time ever since it had happened, you did, bro.
00:46:30.420
And I got to say that being an addict and being clean for the last five and a half years, it would have been real easy to use as an excuse to go back.
00:46:44.520
And I truly believe that God, number one, and just being able to laugh again, kept me free.
00:46:56.120
And I feel like honestly saved my life, brother.
00:47:14.120
And they may not even have feelings over there where you miss people.
00:47:26.240
There's not a word I could give you, you know, except that I'm happy to hear your voice today.
00:47:33.660
Uh, thanks for letting me make, thank you for letting me be a part of your laughter.
00:47:40.960
You know, sometimes when I'm like in pain and stuff, I won't even let people make me laugh kind of.
00:47:45.100
It's like, you know, that stuff when you're like young or something or something's rough and you want to laugh.
00:47:50.000
And it's like, um, you won't let somebody make you laugh.
00:48:01.480
Thank you just for sharing that story today and for letting us have a moment to remember him.
00:48:07.040
I don't even know what he looks like, you know, but I'm just going to remember a sweet soul, uh, that loved his father and that was trying his best in the world.
00:48:32.580
So thank you so much, Tom, for sharing that with us today.
00:48:59.300
And, uh, I just want to call in and give my son a shout out.
00:49:15.680
I just want to call in and give my son a shout out.
00:49:24.600
And, uh, I just want to ask for a prayer, brother.
00:49:27.920
You know, a prayer that that shit don't come back.
00:49:34.260
Shout out to my wife for holding us down for this hard time.
00:49:37.920
Um, and I want to speak into existence that, you know, fuck it.
00:49:54.260
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm glad your son is being a warrior.
00:49:59.180
You know, I'm glad you're here speaking, uh, prayer towards your son.
00:50:08.480
Um, I'm glad that, uh, that you're reminding us.
00:50:14.660
It's okay to call others and ask for prayer and ask for, uh, energy.
00:50:29.520
Well, God, we lift up my, my tail to you and, uh, and just keep his smile hopeful and keep
00:50:42.800
Um, and let him have the joy that he wants in the world.
00:50:46.660
Uh, and we lift up his mother to you, God, and just all the, all the energy you continue
00:50:53.400
to give her and all the mothers out there who, who, um, who have to deal with children
00:51:16.660
in witnessing other people triumph and witnessing this man, witnessing his young son, uh, battle
00:51:23.180
through chemotherapy, that it inspires him to go out and do things that inspires him to
00:51:28.420
take on things that, uh, like if he wants to do comedy or he wants to sing or he wants
00:51:33.040
to do a, um, back flip online or whatever he wants to do, you know, that it inspires him,
00:51:38.820
that it pushes him through any potential failure, you know, cause failure is just a little bit
00:52:02.840
Isn't it inspiring to see a little three-year-old fella out there waddling around ringing that
00:52:13.340
Him and Randy Moss out there ringing that bitch.
00:52:20.160
There's a friend of mine named MK and his wife and, uh, their family is dealing with,
00:52:25.860
Their brother, um, her brother got shot and I don't know even the situation right now,
00:52:32.180
but, um, but yeah, I just want to lift him up, God, and just, just let his heart know
00:52:39.140
that he's not alone and let her heart know and her brother's heart know that they're not
00:52:52.080
So in your name we pray, man, man, um, I think we did pretty good today.
00:53:04.500
I appreciate you getting all the warm messages.
00:53:06.780
I rambled a lot about, um, what happened in New York city, but I wanted to take a few days
00:53:13.040
to kind of digest it because it was all out of my, it was like, it wasn't all out of
00:53:16.560
my control, but there was a lot of stuff going on.
00:53:20.900
Um, and I don't like to take any action when I'm a little bit tired, you know?
00:53:26.320
Um, so I want to thank the people that did come out to the show and, uh, it was what it
00:53:44.840
Thank you to anybody that's come out to my show.
00:53:46.320
Thank you to anybody that's just been supportive.
00:53:55.880
So I just want you to know that wholeheartedly.
00:54:06.080
And, um, and I'm looking forward to actually taking some time off.
00:54:13.040
I want to spend time around my friends and stuff like that.
00:54:16.260
And then at the same time, I got to get a little bit of space.
00:54:18.460
Sometimes I spend so much time like on my phone, these things like just texting so many
00:54:22.380
things that are just kind of like, I just want to be able to, uh, have a little bit of
00:54:32.120
And, um, so yeah, I want to thank everybody for their calls.
00:54:38.100
I want to thank everybody for their calls, sharing, uh, their own words and, um, and
00:54:51.340
I want people to know that, you know, I'm not worried about that kind of stuff.
00:54:54.760
Uh, you know, and maybe one day I'll be able to be off of it.
00:55:03.440
You know, I'm going to make sure that I work with a doctor.
00:55:06.240
If I, if I think about that again, um, but one day it would be nice to, you know, be able
00:55:13.700
to kind of have all your feelings, you know, in a manageable way and, um, to have all of
00:55:25.700
And, uh, man, we've got a lot of life to look forward to.
00:55:41.860
Now, I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
00:55:53.600
Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.