This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #614 - New York Circus

00:00:00.000 It was even bad in America.

00:00:03.120 You know, I'm not home a lot.

00:00:05.440 You know, I can't keep a plant alive at the moment.

00:00:08.460 But when I am home, my bedroom is like my sanctuary.

00:00:12.440 You know, it's a sacred spot for sleep.

00:00:15.220 Thankfully, I have a Helix Sleep Mattress.

00:00:19.320 God, I like it.

00:00:20.660 I mean, I get on that thing and, ooh, baby girl,

00:00:23.940 before I know it, it's morning and I'm feeling good.

00:00:27.800 In fact, I like mine so much I got two of them.

00:00:30.520 I put one of them in the guest room over there

00:00:32.500 in case mom wants to come

00:00:34.020 and just launch some of her dirty dreams into that thing. 1.00

00:00:37.820 Because honestly, sleep matters more to me than ever.

00:00:41.300 Especially when I'm on the go.

00:00:42.460 If I'm home, you know it.

00:00:43.980 Days are long.

00:00:44.800 When you shut it down, it's time to shut it down.

00:00:47.400 Getting real sleep on my Helix Sleep Mattress

00:00:49.900 makes all the difference.

00:00:50.780 If your old mattress has you just launched in,

00:00:53.420 locked in a trench over there,

00:00:55.180 you need a ladder to get out that thing. 0.81

00:00:57.120 It may be time for you to give Helix Sleep a try.

00:01:01.060 You can sleep great, too.

00:01:02.740 Just go to helixsleep.com slash theo

00:01:05.280 to get 25% off site-wide for our audience only.

00:01:10.000 That's helixsleep.com slash theo.

00:01:14.700 Make sure you enter our show name after checkout

00:01:17.400 so they know that we sent you.

00:01:19.440 If you're running a business, okay.

00:01:24.240 Happy October.

00:01:26.900 That's where we are today.

00:01:28.280 Good to be here with you here in the fall.

00:01:32.300 We are pretty much into the fall now.

00:01:34.980 As the calendar, you start to fall off the end of the year.

00:01:38.720 And then just bam, you just land right there

00:01:40.920 in Santa's arms over there.

00:01:44.080 Around December 25th, baby, that's where we at.

00:01:46.700 But I got some new glasses.

00:01:50.380 I did get some new glasses, I guess.

00:01:55.160 They're new to me.

00:01:57.140 I don't know.

00:01:57.640 I'm sure they weren't used or whatever.

00:01:59.120 They're B+, I guess, my thing.

00:02:01.280 My vision is B12.

00:02:05.360 What is it?

00:02:06.740 I don't know.

00:02:07.480 They're pretty good, I guess.

00:02:09.360 It helps me read.

00:02:10.920 I didn't know I needed glasses, you know.

00:02:12.760 And then, I guess, I don't know if I was in like a dark restaurant or whatever.

00:02:16.960 Next thing you know, I'm at the iShop. 0.99

00:02:18.780 And I got these bitches, baby. 1.00

00:02:22.440 And so I'm enjoying them, I think. 0.99

00:02:25.980 I will say this.

00:02:27.020 I don't know.

00:02:28.020 Some people I can't see anymore.

00:02:29.920 So it's kind of...

00:02:31.960 I'm not saying these things are making racial choices for me.

00:02:34.580 But they're definitely...

00:02:36.580 These things don't want to get a good look at everybody, you know.

00:02:41.440 So I may have to mail them back.

00:02:43.740 I'm not sure.

00:02:44.460 But I'm running on about an 8-foot radius or whatever, 12-foot radius maybe in these.

00:02:49.800 So if you want, you know, get close if you need me, you know. 0.98

00:02:55.700 But yeah, because I fucking... 0.97

00:02:57.260 Dude, I was... 0.98

00:02:58.120 My short sight was getting kind of rocky. 1.00

00:03:00.720 You know, I'd go in for a hug and I'd miss that bitch. 1.00

00:03:02.960 I'd be like, damn, you'd go in to hug somebody and hug the wrong person. 1.00

00:03:06.880 You're like, who's that, you know? 1.00

00:03:08.300 That's somebody's damn husband or something. 0.99

00:03:10.060 You know, you don't even, you know... 0.99

00:03:11.460 You go in to hug a decent woman and you end up over there, you know,

00:03:15.680 and you're just up near some man's neck or something.

00:03:17.860 It just...

00:03:18.420 So I think getting your visual is important.

00:03:21.280 And so that's kind of what I'm, I guess, doing.

00:03:24.280 I got to get... 0.99

00:03:25.900 Yeah, I think these bitches are B... 1.00

00:03:27.840 Or B plus... 1.00

00:03:29.500 I don't know what...

00:03:29.960 I got to look at the package.

00:03:32.500 Package or whatever. 0.99

00:03:34.540 I got these bitches online. 1.00

00:03:36.100 They came to just wrote the size of them on the back or something. 0.99

00:03:38.840 I think it was like 38, 42 or...

00:03:40.720 I don't know.

00:03:41.340 I got to look and see. 0.99

00:03:42.100 I got to fucking kind of a big head. 1.00

00:03:45.100 What else? 0.97

00:03:47.080 Thank you guys for being here.

00:03:51.880 The circus is coming to town.

00:03:53.560 I just saw that.

00:03:54.420 I don't know if there's any circus lovers, but the circus is back.

00:03:57.700 You know, and when I was a child, the circus was a big thing.

00:04:03.140 You know, you had a couple times throughout the year, you'd get this little ticket at school.

00:04:08.120 And it'd say on its circus at the top.

00:04:12.820 And it'd say like, Willie's Circus, you know?

00:04:15.640 A Risky Ricks Circus, you know?

00:04:20.120 And it would say like, Admit One.

00:04:21.920 Just on this ticket, you could get it anywhere.

00:04:24.420 So they were just giving out free tickets, you know? 0.99

00:04:26.460 And it would be like, this petting zoo fucking rocks, it would say. 0.99

00:04:31.200 Or something like that on the back. 1.00

00:04:32.580 Or where petting zoos go to fuck. 1.00

00:04:34.480 It would say shit like, that's a lot. 1.00

00:04:38.700 But it was a big deal back then. 0.99

00:04:41.580 When the circus came.

00:04:44.160 Because you'd see them setting up in that big top, that tent.

00:04:47.980 And they'd wheel all animals in there.

00:04:51.740 And some of the animals they'd been through a lot.

00:04:53.620 They'd look like they'd maybe just gotten back from war or something, war or two or something.

00:04:57.780 You know, they'd, some of them missing an ear, missing ear, you know, have a fake ear.

00:05:03.500 You know, they'd have an elephant. 0.98

00:05:04.800 But then one of his ears, they'd have just two, you know, they'd put a damn potted plant into the hole over there. 0.99

00:05:09.820 And he'd have a damn elephant ear plant growing out of the side. 0.99

00:05:12.460 You know, and they'd paint that bitch gray over there. 1.00

00:05:15.240 You'd see a guy on a ladder just painting that elephant, you know, just painting a big plant ear gray. 0.99

00:05:22.320 Just trying to line it all up.

00:05:24.320 And they'd put a big bow tie on him.

00:05:26.300 Call him Big Ginger or whatever.

00:05:29.200 Spray paint red hair on his back. 1.00

00:05:31.020 You know, it was just, you know, you'd see a giraffe, but that bitch had a short neck on him. 1.00

00:05:35.700 You're like, God. 1.00

00:05:37.100 You'd see a damn giraffe. 1.00

00:05:38.200 He was four foot four. 1.00

00:05:39.100 And that bitch was just, you know, pissed, too. 1.00

00:05:42.600 Pissed. 1.00

00:05:43.000 It almost looked like if you tickled him the right way, his neck would just, just, you know, get to the right size. 0.85

00:05:51.760 You know, he was just like that wide neck.

00:05:53.620 Remember that fellow wide neck that was running around?

00:05:55.900 He was kind of an African-American, like, running back that only played drugs or whatever.

00:06:02.920 Like, you know what I'm saying?

00:06:03.340 He didn't have a sport.

00:06:04.280 And that was the circus.

00:06:05.480 And it meant something.

00:06:06.300 You were excited about it.

00:06:07.400 And you'd talk about it at school and you'd go over there.

00:06:12.600 And I just saw the flyer that I knew when it was, it was, it's called the circus. 0.99

00:06:16.280 It's like a, it kind of had looked like a, like a Cirque du Sole Cirque, like a Cirque du Sole Circus kind of, you know, it just looked like a, like a rave for children kind of, you know, they had a couple of damn drones out there. 0.96

00:06:31.320 You know, Palantir just shooting popcorn in the kids' mouths and stuff. 0.68

00:06:34.640 Just, you know, it had a different sort of etiquette to it.

00:06:37.400 And I don't even know if they had any animals.

00:06:40.000 They had a couple of kind of gender neutral dudes just kind of whistling in each other's mouths type of deal.

00:06:45.520 You know, they had a blind fellow just kind of just singing Fred again lyrics and stuff. 0.93

00:06:50.780 It's just gotten very progressive.

00:06:53.000 It feels like the circus.

00:06:55.560 You know, they used to have real animals.

00:06:57.180 You'd go out there, you'd see a couple of monkeys out there.

00:07:00.680 And you're over there and one of them be smocking for you.

00:07:03.860 And, you know, you pay, get you 50 cents over there.

00:07:07.360 Go visit that smocking monkey. 0.91

00:07:10.280 See if he'll ash on your mama's back, you know, or something. 0.62

00:07:12.780 And they had long arms.

00:07:14.760 They'd ash on a, ash in a baby carriage or something like that.

00:07:17.820 It was, you know, it was more involved.

00:07:20.800 They let the animals live a little.

00:07:24.160 You know, and they used to have real lions too.

00:07:26.760 They'd have, you know, they had, back then they had real lions.

00:07:29.260 Now you got a couple, you got a couple of hardy women over there wearing Aiden Hutchinson jerseys. 1.00

00:07:34.180 You know, and just complaining that their breasts are too big. 1.00

00:07:39.340 Now they got a gluten-free concession stand.

00:07:42.880 Just a, you know, peanut allergies.

00:07:45.860 They got that.

00:07:47.800 So it's, you know, back in the day they had a dude.

00:07:51.240 You would find a dude at the circus with a peanut allergy.

00:07:54.520 They would find that dude.

00:07:56.400 They would give him a couple handfuls of peanuts. 1.00

00:07:59.220 And then send that bitch running through a ring of fire, baby. 1.00

00:08:02.300 While people in the crowd sang, for those about to rock. 1.00

00:08:11.000 Now it's just, they find a dude with a peanut allergy, right?

00:08:14.780 They put him in a hazmat suit.

00:08:16.480 They have him run and jump through a ring of peanuts into his two mother's arms.

00:08:22.940 So it's, I'm just saying, yeah, it's just a different time, man.

00:08:26.560 It's just a different time.

00:08:28.660 And that's what time does.

00:08:29.900 It keeps making things different, doesn't it?

00:08:32.180 Man, time does not like to wear the same outfit, baby.

00:08:35.840 That's the truth.

00:08:37.540 Time likes to, uh...

00:08:40.140 Time likes every minute just freshly ironed, baby, right out the package.

00:08:47.440 Time is just, you know, it's just, it likes to feel brand new, baby.

00:08:51.520 But God, that circus was fun.

00:08:53.320 You go over there. 0.98

00:08:53.900 And sometimes some of the circus workers, they just set themselves on fire and just collect damn workman's comp right there, right in front of you. 1.00

00:09:01.300 Fuck. 1.00

00:09:01.800 People would cheer and just damn just, you know, God and just pray. 1.00

00:09:07.100 So yeah, it was just a different time, man. 0.98

00:09:08.920 And, um, that's the circus.

00:09:12.380 That's the circus.

00:09:13.200 It's back.

00:09:14.380 Um, and we had a circus, we had a circus last week in New York, in New York City.

00:09:21.100 And I want to talk about that.

00:09:22.920 I want to, uh...

00:09:24.580 I want to just go through it because there's, like, a lot of stuff out there, speculation and all of that.

00:09:28.840 And I want to just get super clear on it, right?

00:09:30.980 Because I think a lot of people, um, don't know, like, what went on.

00:09:35.980 And it wasn't that crazy what went on.

00:09:38.140 And I wish it was going to be a more exciting story.

00:09:40.180 But I just want to, uh, yeah, I just want to share with you kind of what happened, I guess.

00:09:46.900 Um, and I don't want to make it a big deal, but I think, uh, but I do want to, like, just kind of go into it, right?

00:09:54.380 Um, you know, so mental health is important to me, right?

00:10:01.800 It's important to me.

00:10:02.560 We talk about that kind of stuff on here a lot.

00:10:04.600 And, hold on.

00:10:10.780 And, yeah, it's like, it's a, I think it's been something that we talk about a great deal.

00:10:14.780 And just think about and kind of explore, right?

00:10:18.520 So, so I had a comedy special that we were taping.

00:10:22.000 We were taping it last week.

00:10:24.580 And about a, and about a month before I started, I quit taking, uh, some antidepressants I was taking.

00:10:31.960 You know, I just kind of self-weaned myself off.

00:10:34.600 And the reason why was because I wanted, like, during the comedy show, I wanted to have a little bit more emotion during it.

00:10:44.020 I wanted to have this kind of, like, I just wanted to have some more feelings.

00:10:51.320 You know, if, um, if you've ever taken antidepressants or if you haven't, uh, they, it kind of takes away your feelings kind of, you know?

00:11:01.060 Uh, so you just kind of stay in this space where you're okay.

00:11:06.400 And it's nice.

00:11:07.160 It's a safe space, but you don't, uh, you're like the astronaut that kind of stays on the ship sometimes.

00:11:12.560 And you get to do the thumbs up and shit, but other dudes are like, you know, they're people, other people are out there.

00:11:20.860 Um, anyway, so I quit taking my medication because I wanted to have a little bit more feelings during the show. 0.95

00:11:27.020 I wanted to be able to talk about stuff a little bit more that meant something to me and put it into the comedy show.

00:11:34.320 So, that, that was all going fine, right?

00:11:38.320 I was doing fine with that.

00:11:39.920 But we're headed into the comedy show and then the, the Charlie Kirk thing happened, right?

00:11:46.580 The Charlie Kirk murder happened, which is really crazy.

00:11:50.140 You know, it was just a crazy thing.

00:11:52.320 Uh, I've talked about it before.

00:11:53.960 I'm not going to talk about it anymore right now.

00:11:56.980 Um, but a few days after that or maybe a week after that,

00:12:02.300 they're, the Department of Homeland Security put a video up online talking about, uh,

00:12:12.240 they started making like trap beat edits and like banger edits to evicting people from the country, right?

00:12:19.140 Or eliminating, um, illegal illegals, maybe some criminals, some people just undocumented all, you know,

00:12:27.040 just across the spectrum, right?

00:12:28.640 So, they put a video of mine that I'd made for somebody in a parking lot,

00:12:34.440 probably like maybe a year and a half ago, just jokingly.

00:12:36.920 They put, I think it was a year and a half ago.

00:12:39.300 They put it in at the front of this Department of Homeland Security, like trap beat.

00:12:46.520 I think they had like, I'm not sure if they had like young boilers to it, whatever they had. 0.81

00:12:50.400 But it was, uh, it was kind of, it was ridiculous.

00:12:53.480 And the video was a girl had walked up to me in a parking lot and she had said,

00:12:59.560 Hey, my friend just got deported.

00:13:03.180 What do you have to say?

00:13:04.700 Do you, or do you have a message?

00:13:05.800 I can't remember what it was.

00:13:07.200 And I was just like, bye, you know?

00:13:10.020 And I didn't know if it was real or not.

00:13:11.380 I had no idea.

00:13:12.100 I was just joking around.

00:13:13.060 It's a stranger came up to me in a parking lot.

00:13:15.020 I think it was after a show and there were some people gathered around and we were just kind of like,

00:13:18.260 um, BSing and taking, uh, pictures and just kind of, uh, associating, right?

00:13:24.460 So anyway, long story short, that happens.

00:13:29.160 So this video goes mega viral, 25 million, 30 million views.

00:13:32.840 It's everywhere.

00:13:33.680 And the front of the D of that Homeland Security video, it's on the White House thing.

00:13:38.000 It's on everything.

00:13:39.360 It's, it's everywhere.

00:13:40.880 And the first 10 seconds of it are me, right? 1.00

00:13:44.760 Like, I don't have anything to do with this shit. 0.99

00:13:47.340 Nobody asked me about it. 0.99

00:13:49.280 Um, you know, like nobody said, Hey, this is going to happen.

00:13:55.140 Like, and, and I have a lot of different thoughts about immigration, right?

00:13:58.840 They're like showing people getting arrested.

00:14:00.260 Like, it's just an intense thing.

00:14:01.580 Like, and why is the government even making these?

00:14:03.920 I don't know.

00:14:04.800 But that's where we're at in the world.

00:14:08.160 And, and I have a lot of thoughts about immigration, right?

00:14:11.220 I have a ton of them and we don't need to go into them all right now.

00:14:13.740 I've talked about them on other episodes.

00:14:15.360 Um, I feel like they're doing a lot of bookkeeping in the country right now because we're going

00:14:20.860 to get into a surveillance state and everyone is going to have to be on the books.

00:14:24.600 Right?

00:14:24.900 So that's where I believe that we're headed.

00:14:29.580 Um, but this was just wild, you know, and people are like sending messages and like hateful 0.99

00:14:34.920 stuff and, you know, you think all these illegal shits and all this type of shit. 0.99

00:14:39.380 And like, I could talk to you ad nauseum about that, but, but this wasn't the time for it. 0.99

00:14:45.500 It just was something that they used and put out there and everybody saw.

00:14:48.140 Right?

00:14:48.560 So I'm getting a ton of hateful stuff and, and, and, and I'm trying to remember everything.

00:14:52.640 I'm trying to kind of remember everything right now.

00:14:54.540 And, um, but this video goes everywhere and I'm getting like a lot of like, dude, what 0.99

00:14:59.300 the fuck? 1.00

00:14:59.760 Just all kinds of shit. 1.00

00:15:00.680 Right? 1.00

00:15:00.880 Like my phone just blown.

00:15:02.000 I'm like, what the hell?

00:15:02.860 It's just like the last thing I needed. 0.63

00:15:04.080 Right?

00:15:04.820 There's a week left to this special.

00:15:07.200 Um, and this happens, you know, this thing comes out and my father immigrated here from

00:15:13.520 Nicaragua, right?

00:15:15.140 Like one of my prized possessions is I have his immigration papers when he came here.

00:15:19.640 Um, and I have them in a frame and, um, him and his, uh, siblings when they came here. 0.97

00:15:24.720 And so I have tons of thoughts about it, but this, this was just fucked up. 0.95

00:15:29.280 Right? 0.99

00:15:29.600 It was fucked up and it was everywhere. 0.99

00:15:31.980 It was like on all platforms and stuff. 0.98

00:15:35.620 So, so that had me really kind of paranoid, you know, that had me start to get kind of

00:15:42.180 paranoid and, um, you know, like closing, like, you know, I had the curtains in my house

00:15:48.000 kind of closed.

00:15:48.660 I was just like, you know, you're paranoid.

00:15:51.780 I woke up the next morning.

00:15:55.680 Sorry, I need some water.

00:15:56.600 I woke up the next morning to a text from a high government official saying, Hey, if

00:16:06.120 you need, uh, some extra security in your neighborhood, um, or some extra police cars

00:16:11.080 on patrol, let me know.

00:16:12.060 And I'm like, what, what are you talking about?

00:16:17.220 Extra security.

00:16:17.860 I don't have any, like, you know, I don't even know the code to my ring camera.

00:16:20.640 Like, I don't even know how to log in.

00:16:21.760 So it's like, and then, and like, what are you just going to put police cars in my neighborhood?

00:16:25.920 What are my neighbors going to think?

00:16:27.040 Now they're fearful.

00:16:28.820 Like, it just like, I don't know, man, that, that like really kind of shook me.

00:16:33.760 It really kind of shook me.

00:16:35.560 Um, but you just, you keep marching on, you know, and you start getting security and then

00:16:41.720 now, but now you have security, right?

00:16:44.920 And the thing is, you just don't know.

00:16:47.880 You just don't know.

00:16:50.080 Right.

00:16:50.500 There was a moment on the, like, it was white house because the white house also put this

00:16:56.680 out.

00:16:56.980 Thank you.

00:16:57.280 White house.

00:16:57.840 Um, that, and look, I'm all for like the board.

00:17:02.740 I'm all for tighter boards.

00:17:03.800 I'm all for like accurate knowing who's on.

00:17:05.960 I'm all for knowing who is in a country.

00:17:07.880 I'm all for knowing what's in the cupboard of a society.

00:17:10.880 I think you should know every, I think you should know every item on the log.

00:17:13.560 I think it should be known.

00:17:14.480 Right.

00:17:14.820 I do.

00:17:15.300 Now, how do you get there?

00:17:16.140 That's the bigger question.

00:17:17.260 And we don't have to discuss that today.

00:17:18.980 Right.

00:17:19.300 It's not about that.

00:17:21.140 Um, and sorry, I'm going slow here.

00:17:24.460 I'm trying to piece this together.

00:17:27.960 So now I have this thing with security, but then you get a situation.

00:17:32.740 The security person and they, now you're, if you're walking on a security guide, then

00:17:36.200 that's kind of uncomfortable because now you're like, it kind of makes you spooked.

00:17:40.920 You're like, well, what's going on?

00:17:41.900 So there's just like all of that's happening.

00:17:43.740 And then we get to just the job, the job, right?

00:17:47.980 Like, which is performing, speaking in front of strangers.

00:17:50.400 Like you had just seen this thing with Charlie Kirk, right?

00:17:52.700 It's like, like we all watch somebody get lit up.

00:17:58.300 We all watch somebody get murdered casually on our phones.

00:18:03.800 Right.

00:18:03.960 Like, and I don't mean to say it like that, but that's how it all, it came across to us.

00:18:09.160 There's no warning on a lot of video you see.

00:18:11.380 And like, so just a lot of, uh, I think unnecessary pressure, a lot of stress going on that I did.

00:18:22.040 Some of it I was aware of.

00:18:23.200 And some of you just don't know you're aware of it.

00:18:25.020 I think, you know, because I think like, um, like you just, sometimes you don't know what stress you're holding.

00:18:36.520 You know, one day there was a, I got a call from a friend of mine and they said they were going into rehab and I just started bawling.

00:18:44.220 Right.

00:18:44.580 And I didn't realize that there was a part of me that was waiting to hear that from them and that it, uh, it really made me feel some type of way, you know?

00:18:55.580 So sometimes it's like, you just don't know what stresses you're holding anyway.

00:18:58.860 Uh, so, so anyway, we, so we get to the, the shows, right?

00:19:02.180 We're there and it's a lot, you know, it's a lot.

00:19:06.700 There's a lot of like last minute choices to be made.

00:19:09.020 Um, it seemed to go messier than the past specials that I'd taped, right?

00:19:15.840 It seemed to be a lot more confusion and it all could have been just kind of my perception, right?

00:19:20.700 Because what started to happen was on this day, I was starting to feel, uh, a little bit like, I don't know if manic is the word.

00:19:30.880 I don't know what manic means.

00:19:31.840 I've said manic, but I don't manic meaning.

00:19:35.380 Let me see.

00:19:35.980 What does it mean when someone is manic?

00:19:39.700 Oh, it says trying to meet man's.

00:19:41.640 That's the first one. 1.00

00:19:42.320 Like this is fucking, see, this is how bad shit's gotten. 1.00

00:19:46.800 You're, you know, you're trying to figure out if you have some sort of an anxiety disorder. 1.00

00:19:51.040 And next thing you know, you're getting damn emails from a, uh, a local men's bar or whatever. 0.82

00:19:55.440 It is defined as an extremely unstable, euphoric or irritable mood along with an excessive activity or energy level. 0.98

00:20:01.320 Okay.

00:20:02.920 Excessively rapid thought and speech.

00:20:04.320 I probably could have used a little more of that.

00:20:05.740 Um, so I, I think I started to feel kind of mildly manic.

00:20:09.360 I think it was just being off the medication.

00:20:10.700 I think, uh, and it wasn't insane.

00:20:13.420 It was just little things.

00:20:14.460 Like the second I got on stage, the first show, my, I couldn't feel any moisture in my mouth.

00:20:18.780 And I started to feel like, um, you ever remember that feeling if you were in high school when you got high and then you were standing there talking to your friends and you were just too high and you were just literally standing there just trying to pretending to be yourself a little bit.

00:20:32.900 So I had a little bit of that going on, uh, and it started off choppy.

00:20:39.820 The first show, it started off kind of choppy.

00:20:41.740 We, we were doing like a new intro with Joey Diaz at the last minute and he was pretty goomed up,

00:20:47.660 you know, he's Coco and, uh, and it was a blessing that he was there, but we hadn't ran through it.

00:20:52.100 And so it just like a lot of, um, like things at the last minute, but yeah, I'm on stage and the second half of the first show went good.

00:21:03.360 And there were some beats that I got that had like an emotional piece to them that I wanted.

00:21:08.240 And that felt exciting.

00:21:10.740 But, but the whole show, it was, it was, uh, there were parts where I just couldn't remember the next thing.

00:21:16.700 I couldn't remember like my next sequence.

00:21:19.080 Like I was having trouble just keeping track of stuff.

00:21:22.300 And that's when I really was like, oh man, I'm, uh, I'm just off tonight.

00:21:27.620 You know, I just, you know, it had just like, I'm just off tonight.

00:21:35.000 Um, and I, even, I think I remember saying to the audience, like, thank you guys just for being here for me.

00:21:42.100 You know, like, uh, and, and the audience was cool, man.

00:21:46.280 People were, were happy to be there.

00:21:48.060 They were super stoked when I came out.

00:21:49.960 I started to feel bad that I wasn't giving them the best show, but the show ended up going a little bit long, blah, blah, blah.

00:21:55.180 We get to halftime or in between the two shows and Chris Rock is backstage.

00:22:00.260 He's there.

00:22:01.080 My favorite, right?

00:22:02.960 Like, I mean, I see Chris Rock smile and you just feel like it's going to be good.

00:22:10.280 You know, this is, it's almost like when, you know, somebody that was good in class at making a good joke and then you see him and you're like, oh, the Michael Jordan has arrived.

00:22:23.680 You know, like that thing, like, um, so anyway, seeing him and it kind of like, I kind of, I was like almost way so excited about seeing him.

00:22:31.860 Like I was very excited, but then I realized I was kind of overexcited.

00:22:35.020 Um, he enjoyed the show, you know, and, and so I went into the second show feeling like, okay, I got to figure some of this out.

00:22:46.660 And I couldn't tell if people were like being like legit, like, okay, was it good?

00:22:51.840 Was it bad?

00:22:52.400 What was going on?

00:22:54.380 And then I took an ice bath between the shows.

00:22:58.000 I was doing my yoga, the same usual stuff I do anyway.

00:23:02.240 Sorry.

00:23:02.420 I know this is getting long, but, uh, and then we did the second show and the second show was started out fire first 22 minutes.

00:23:10.200 We're cooking.

00:23:11.220 And then I just, I couldn't remember stuff.

00:23:16.660 And we didn't put a teleprompter.

00:23:18.560 We like, we've done it for other specials.

00:23:20.180 We didn't do it.

00:23:21.620 And that was a bad choice.

00:23:24.400 I don't know if I probably made the choice for sure.

00:23:26.360 I don't remember.

00:23:27.660 But so I had to ask for how, you know, I was like having to ask off stage because I wanted to get everything in sequence.

00:23:35.060 You know, and I think I got stuck on this like sequence thing and, um, and it was just hard, man.

00:23:41.260 It just, you know, I just did, I didn't feel like myself.

00:23:44.120 I felt like I was trying to kind of pretend to be myself and it wasn't insane or extreme.

00:23:50.120 It just, that was it.

00:23:54.420 And we got to the end of the show and we were standing around afterwards with the, uh, producers and the director, my friend, Kevin.

00:24:03.780 And just like, man, did we get it?

00:24:09.220 You know, did we get it?

00:24:12.940 Excuse me.

00:24:13.640 Did we get it good enough?

00:24:14.940 You know, because I, I, I want this special to be, you know, I, you know, you, you do the material for so long.

00:24:20.740 Um, and my buddy, Neil Brennan said this the other day before it, he said, uh, I got hair in my eyes today.

00:24:27.280 He said, dude, this is the last time you'll ever spend with this material.

00:24:33.000 You know, it's really the last time you'll probably ever do it.

00:24:36.240 And, and this material has been, it's been a friend to me over the years.

00:24:39.640 It's been, you know, it's taken me around the world.

00:24:42.320 You know, it's gotten me to see a lot of people that, uh, love me and that I love.

00:24:47.220 Um, so that was just a neat sentiment of a way to like embrace the material stuff.

00:24:52.320 But I was just at the end of the night, I was like, I don't know if we got it.

00:24:54.780 And they're like, yeah, well, let's edit together something and see.

00:24:58.760 And I was like, okay, but I just, I don't, I couldn't feel the magic, you know, I just was off.

00:25:04.660 And, and that was it.

00:25:06.220 We left the show.

00:25:07.360 We left the theater.

00:25:08.980 Um, we took pictures.

00:25:11.660 I, you know, I went up by the stage at the end of the, at the end of each show.

00:25:14.480 And we're like taking pictures of people that are sitting there.

00:25:17.120 And, um, and that's when some girl, there was a clip of me, um, that, which I think this

00:25:24.020 is what really like, this is what made things ridiculous.

00:25:28.360 Uh, where in passing, I just was like, or I don't, I don't know if it was in passing.

00:25:33.160 I haven't seen the clip, honestly.

00:25:34.500 And I haven't been online.

00:25:36.480 Um, I woke up the next day to like a bunch of things like, bro, what's up?

00:25:40.080 Or things like that.

00:25:40.860 And I was like, oh my God, you know, what's going on?

00:25:44.300 Like, did, you know, did I, you know, did I steal somebody's horse?

00:25:49.180 Did I hit somebody with a vehicle?

00:25:50.360 You know, what, I have no, I, you know, it was just kind of alarming.

00:25:52.620 Um, and then a buddy of mine sent me a clip and I could just see the outside and it was

00:25:56.680 like, uh, you could see me on stage and then people were asking me about suicide and I was

00:26:01.880 like, oh God, you know, um, and I don't even remember exactly what I said, but I can certainly

00:26:11.380 see me saying something like, oh, just try not to take my own life, you know?

00:26:15.040 Um, which I, I understand it's not a joke to some people, right?

00:26:21.000 It's not a joke to me.

00:26:23.460 Uh, but it is something that I'll, you know, I'll say stuff.

00:26:26.300 Sometimes I say stuff, right?

00:26:27.940 I, you, you know, you know, that if you've listened to this show before or seen anything,

00:26:35.320 you know, I say stuff.

00:26:38.020 Um, I would never take my own life.

00:26:41.060 I would never take my own life.

00:26:43.520 Okay.

00:26:44.460 You hear that Israel?

00:26:46.600 I would never take my own life.

00:26:50.400 I'm grateful to God, uh, for his grace in my life.

00:26:55.140 Um, I love my siblings.

00:26:59.620 Um, I have so many friends and people that love me and people that I want to see their

00:27:04.240 children grow up.

00:27:05.200 I'm hopeful.

00:27:05.960 I'm hopeful that I get to have a wife and meet my, and meet my own children one day.

00:27:09.940 Like, there's a ton of things in my life that keep me alive and hopeful, right?

00:27:14.120 I want to be able to have an impact in the world.

00:27:16.900 Um, those are just a few of them probably, you know?

00:27:21.780 I mean, so many just moments we've shared on this show that I'm like, oh, I live for

00:27:26.640 those things, you know?

00:27:28.940 I mean, I want to see Vandy win a, uh, a championship.

00:27:33.040 So I'm going to have to be alive for a long time.

00:27:36.020 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:27:36.640 Type shit. 0.99

00:27:37.320 Uh, so, but anyway, so anyway, that was, uh, you know, so I woke up to that and I was 0.98

00:27:45.260 like, oh man, um, and I guess I had like a lot of different, uh, well, in addition to

00:28:00.420 that, people wrote articles, oh, this is bad.

00:28:03.620 And look, it wasn't great.

00:28:06.020 I didn't love it.

00:28:08.460 And I had a lot of people that said it was great though.

00:28:11.740 Like I have people say, dude, we loved it.

00:28:14.100 It was great.

00:28:14.800 So, but I didn't think it was, I didn't think it was perfect, you know, for sure.

00:28:22.800 But I thought, let's just look at the edit and see.

00:28:25.580 Um, and so we still haven't decided we might shoot again at some point.

00:28:28.400 I don't know what's going to go on, but there was just this energy now where it was like,

00:28:33.700 everybody started checking on me and, uh, I was like, oh man, this is tough.

00:28:37.820 And, and, and there's people that would think like, oh, well he failed or who want

00:28:41.500 to write up, write up something that says he failed or make a meme.

00:28:45.020 I saw one thing it said, uh, uh, bombs, Netflix or whatever, taping or whatever.

00:28:51.500 Awesome.

00:28:52.040 Thank you, dude. 0.99

00:28:53.180 Um, but homie, I was fucking in that bitch cause you should have seen me dog. 1.00

00:28:59.980 You should have seen me. 0.99

00:29:01.800 You know, you ever see that show dog?

00:29:05.020 And a lot of times you'll see that dog show and it's that, uh, Weesterminster, I think

00:29:09.840 it's Weesterminster, the Weesterminster dog show. 0.98

00:29:12.820 You see that bitch boy. 1.00

00:29:14.300 And they got some dogs in that bitch. 1.00

00:29:17.500 And then they got that other, bro. 1.00

00:29:19.420 They got that other little, uh, that little, I mean, this bitch is just a little thought 1.00

00:29:25.040 wilder, this bitch, you know, they got that little male thought wilder rolling up. 1.00

00:29:29.640 You're like, damn, that little bitch, you know, he got a little, maybe an anklet on 1.00

00:29:33.760 or something. 1.00

00:29:34.640 Maybe he got a house arrest bracelet on his tail, but that bitch is in there. 1.00

00:29:38.360 And they're like, damn, he ain't supposed to be here. 1.00

00:29:41.620 But he's over there. 0.99

00:29:42.660 He's listening to DMX.

00:29:44.280 We riot. 1.00

00:29:47.080 And all the other dogs got all them crazy tricks and he just fucking, he'll gamble on his 0.99

00:29:51.480 phone real quick or do something like that. 0.99

00:29:54.200 Or he'll fucking run a parlay or something on his phone. 0.98

00:29:57.540 And that's his trick. 1.00

00:29:58.760 And he'll smoke a Virginia Slim right there and hit that bitch. 1.00

00:30:03.140 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:30:04.040 So anyway, what I'm saying is, bitch, I'm out there. 0.99

00:30:06.880 I'm in the ring, bro. 0.99

00:30:09.560 And I failed so many times.

00:30:11.160 You could write, bro, write what you want, big dog.

00:30:16.120 Write what you want.

00:30:17.960 It wasn't perfect, man.

00:30:19.420 I'll agree to that.

00:30:20.300 And if, you know, and if I've gotten so used to times I have failed, it's okay. 0.95

00:30:26.340 I eat failure for breakfast, but I'm fucking, you fill me up with failure flakes over the 0.98

00:30:30.520 years, kids. 0.99

00:30:35.520 And it's okay, man.

00:30:37.240 That's part of the job.

00:30:38.120 The first 10 years of doing comedy is failure.

00:30:40.480 So much of my life, the best things that have ever happened on my life have been on the

00:30:45.900 other side of failure.

00:30:47.940 And, yeah, it would be great if one day we could all live in a space where we all, you

00:30:56.620 know, we lived in a neighborhood where everybody, when they went out in the world, they was

00:30:59.700 potentially going to fail, boy.

00:31:03.200 We riding right on the edge, baby.

00:31:07.420 You know?

00:31:08.220 And that we admired that about each other.

00:31:10.200 So, anyway, I'm not looking to, like, downplay it or make it, you know, we might reshoot it

00:31:17.120 again.

00:31:17.380 We'll see what happens.

00:31:18.420 And that's it, you know?

00:31:21.680 Because you don't, if you, like, if you're not on that risk of failing, I don't know what

00:31:25.240 I'm going to be.

00:31:25.760 If I'm not on that risk of failing, I don't know what I'm going to be.

00:31:29.460 It's like a bulb, you know, a plant bulb.

00:31:31.480 If you saw, like, a plant bulb is kind of brave, right?

00:31:35.880 Like a, uh, a floral bulb, right?

00:31:40.280 Because if he just stays a bulb, he's just that little green little monster, right?

00:31:45.260 That little nugget.

00:31:48.380 But when he blasts open, you don't, he don't know what he's going to get out that bit, bro.

00:31:52.800 He might be a rose.

00:31:54.060 He might be a daffodil, brother. 0.98

00:31:57.200 He might be a, um, he might be a damn, uh, succubus or whatever. 0.98

00:32:03.040 He might be a gladioli. 0.98

00:32:06.100 He, you don't know when you pop that top, but you're going to get out of yourself.

00:32:10.780 Imagine you walk through the woods and all the flowers are just, just loked out.

00:32:16.360 They all just in hiding, bro.

00:32:19.040 They're all in witness protection program bulbs.

00:32:22.940 But nah, they took that shot. 1.00

00:32:24.720 Pow, bitch. 1.00

00:32:26.900 So anyway, I don't know if I'm, if I'm rambling or just fluffing my own ego. 1.00

00:32:30.600 But, um, so that was it, man.

00:32:33.400 And there was a video about, you know, and that, that, and so, so that stuff happened.

00:32:38.160 And, but then the thing that like made everything hectic was, uh, someone recorded a video of

00:32:43.180 me making a passive comment, joking around about, um, about suicide.

00:32:49.440 And I didn't even mean to, I didn't know people were recording me at that time.

00:32:53.460 I don't think, or I don't think that they are anymore.

00:32:56.340 And I think I got to evolve in my own head that that's how things are now.

00:32:59.660 Yeah.

00:33:00.600 So, and another thing that happened, I didn't even tell anybody this, but I went to the

00:33:11.720 doctors like a couple weeks ago.

00:33:14.520 This was like, I think two days after the Charlie Kirk shooting, I went to the doctors

00:33:18.060 and, uh, and I'm in the doctor room and it's just me and a nurse.

00:33:24.780 And she comes in and I'm talking about, you know, I got to get a checkup and everything

00:33:30.460 where they do you nuts or whatever, you know?

00:33:33.120 And so I'm taught, you know, we're talking about body and everything and, uh, you know, 0.94

00:33:39.360 um, you know, talking about genitals or whatever.

00:33:43.280 Right.

00:33:43.940 And body.

00:33:44.540 And so we have this conversation and then the nurse, she says after, she says, uh,

00:33:54.060 and she's like, Hey, I brought, I brought something for you.

00:33:59.700 And I'm like, huh?

00:34:00.600 And she's like, I brought something for you.

00:34:05.780 And it really spooked me, bro, because I'm in a doctor's office, right?

00:34:10.280 This is a place where you think you can be safe.

00:34:12.540 And, um, and man, that was a, that was a tough moment.

00:34:18.340 My mom was in town.

00:34:19.900 And after that, I remember sitting in my car, sitting in my car with her.

00:34:23.020 And I kind of got a little teared up because I was like, Oh man, no place is kind of safe

00:34:27.600 anymore, you know?

00:34:28.800 And the, the, the girl just wanted to do something nice, right?

00:34:32.020 I think she wanted to give me something.

00:34:33.320 I don't know, but it was just that invasiveness of like, man, this is like supposed to be a

00:34:36.960 very private place.

00:34:38.720 And I mentioned it to the doctor.

00:34:40.200 And then I even, you know, I made sure that the nurse didn't feel like bad.

00:34:45.080 You know, she's just trying to be a nice person. 0.99

00:34:47.560 You know, I believe that her motives were in a good place.

00:34:50.980 Um, I don't hold any ill will against her, but it was just like, uh, I don't know.

00:34:57.600 There was just a lot of little things that were adding up to stress.

00:34:59.880 And so, um, yeah, that's what happened.

00:35:02.980 Um, and it's just been like, I've had so many people reach out.

00:35:07.120 So thank you so much.

00:35:08.120 I've had so many people say nice things.

00:35:09.840 I can't believe, like, to me, it felt very kind of like in passing.

00:35:14.400 Um, and then I was just kind of burnt out.

00:35:17.940 Uh, but just know that I'm, I'm never at a place like that.

00:35:23.120 You know, I'm far from a place like that.

00:35:26.720 You know, there may have been times when I was a kid or something where I had some negative,

00:35:29.900 you know, some stuff was scary, but yeah, I'm going to be here.

00:35:32.960 I'm going to be here.

00:35:34.620 You're going to be here.

00:35:36.340 And we're going to be here together.

00:35:37.500 Like we always been.

00:35:38.400 Um, and, um, and that was it.

00:35:42.740 There was nothing else to the evening.

00:35:45.820 We tried like to really keep things together.

00:35:48.260 Um, there was no drug issue.

00:35:51.260 There was no, like, I mean, when Coco showed up, there was smoke and he, you know, it's like,

00:35:55.280 but there was no, uh, there wasn't like, it was just, there was just like, just the fuse was short going into it.

00:36:05.900 The fuse was short going into it.

00:36:07.600 I remember right when we got to the theater, some guy was supposed to show me to my dressing room. 0.99

00:36:11.980 He took me on like a seven minute journey out into the fucking caverns of some building. 0.95

00:36:17.760 I don't even know where we were. 0.97

00:36:18.680 We were like, there was like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles there. 0.97

00:36:21.300 And I was like, oh fuck, I'm already, this is, I could feel my fuse being pretty. 0.98

00:36:25.700 Low. 0.99

00:36:26.320 Uh, so, but I still tried.

00:36:30.820 I think they're looking back.

00:36:31.820 Maybe I should have like pulled the cord.

00:36:33.360 You know, I don't know though.

00:36:34.460 You know, you don't, you don't kind of know until you know where you, until where you are, you know?

00:36:38.960 And so I don't think I would have done anything different.

00:36:42.020 I made all the choices.

00:36:43.100 I didn't realize how much stress I had and that's it.

00:36:45.940 Um, but I do want to, I do want to say this about suicide, right?

00:36:50.020 Like, you know, a friend of mine,

00:36:55.280 a close friend of mine, uh, years ago, his sister, um, was dealing with a lot of stuff.

00:37:03.740 She was dealing with a lot of stuff and she couldn't say she, she was having trouble talking

00:37:09.840 about it.

00:37:10.280 Like, you know, she was having trouble talking about it.

00:37:13.080 She didn't want to bother people.

00:37:15.940 Um, and she finally told a member of their family and they didn't want to worry everybody

00:37:24.580 in the family with it.

00:37:26.160 Um, and so they kind of told the rest of the family that she had mono.

00:37:29.140 And so she was suffering, uh, and then

00:37:34.240 like within a year, she had taken her own life, right?

00:37:40.040 She just couldn't handle where she was at.

00:37:42.760 And I think it's, and I just want to say her name, Christiane, and just let, uh, her know

00:37:51.340 that people think of her and that her brothers love her and that, um, and that she's an angel

00:37:59.660 out in the universe, keeping tabs on people.

00:38:02.400 And that's a beautiful thing.

00:38:03.840 Um, but I think about that story from my, from my buddy sometimes.

00:38:08.980 And it's like, I think people get stuck in a space where they're like, yeah, I'm going

00:38:11.940 to bother somebody if I, or I've already told my friends so many times and I'm not doing

00:38:16.240 good.

00:38:16.980 I don't, none of that stuff matters.

00:38:18.440 It's like, however you have to speak up about something, if you have to, um, I think it's

00:38:26.880 worth trying to try more, you know?

00:38:31.960 And I don't know if that means anything.

00:38:35.760 I'm just saying, yeah, I don't know what I'm saying.

00:38:39.900 I think I just wanted to, uh, just have a moment and just let it be known that, um, that

00:38:48.640 that young lady is missed.

00:38:50.160 I think maybe that's something that I just wanted to think about out loud and that however

00:38:55.580 you have to say something, say it.

00:38:57.620 But I was just joking, man.

00:38:59.000 And I know it's not something to joke about.

00:39:00.480 And I get that and I appreciate all like the beautiful concern and the thank yous and

00:39:04.440 like just the outpouring.

00:39:06.860 I just started to feel like, God, I don't even know how to tell everybody that I was

00:39:10.240 just joking.

00:39:12.200 Um, and I joke about some dark stuff sometimes and I joke about everything.

00:39:15.580 And, uh, I think that's what makes you able to do comedy.

00:39:18.840 Sometimes I don't know.

00:39:19.800 I don't want to like look at myself too much like that.

00:39:21.980 Cause that gets kind of ego-y, but, um, but yeah, I'll be here forever and we got to see 0.98

00:39:29.240 how this fucking circus goes. 0.99

00:39:30.800 You know, we got to see how this, how this short giraffe balls out. 1.00

00:39:38.060 Um, so I love you and, uh, and thank you for loving me.

00:39:42.940 I could, it would take me forever to thank everybody for the nice messages.

00:39:45.740 It really would.

00:39:47.100 Um, but gosh, I'm fine.

00:39:49.280 Don't treat me weird.

00:39:50.360 Don't be weird.

00:39:51.180 I'm not weird.

00:39:52.120 I'm chill.

00:39:52.860 You're good.

00:39:54.020 We riding, bro.

00:39:55.860 We riding, bro. 1.00

00:39:57.660 Type shit, boy. 0.99

00:39:58.820 Um, let's get to a few calls that came in here. 0.99

00:40:03.560 Um, and maybe we'll keep it in this space.

00:40:06.060 Let me see what we got right here.

00:40:07.480 Here's one right here.

00:40:08.400 Let's get to it.

00:40:10.720 You know, I've always had a money goal, had me a goal, get me some money, achieve that goal.

00:40:17.400 That's been it.

00:40:18.440 I wanted to go to Antarctica or Antarctica.

00:40:21.040 That's what I used to think it was called.

00:40:22.620 And it sounded more tropical when you say it like that.

00:40:25.520 But later I found out it was freezing and you're not allowed.

00:40:27.980 So I had to change it up.

00:40:29.760 But what I'm talking about is having a money goal.

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00:41:29.140 You know, sometimes I feel like my brain just kind of leaves the building.

00:41:32.240 Just on it.

00:41:32.700 Just like a school child at 3 p.m.

00:41:35.480 They hear that bell.

00:41:36.680 Whoo, boy.

00:41:37.860 And when my brain starts to check out, you got to ask yourself,

00:41:40.360 do I get me another coffee?

00:41:41.780 What do I do?

00:41:42.700 Do I have somebody tickle me?

00:41:43.980 What do I do?

00:41:44.580 There's a new option.

00:41:46.320 That's Neuro gum and mints.

00:41:49.420 Neuro gives you clean, focused energy without the crash, sugar, or sketchy ingredients.

00:41:55.560 For me, it's the easiest upgrade I've made to my routine.

00:41:58.740 Swapping in the Neuro.

00:42:01.480 Because I like gum.

00:42:02.540 I like having me something in my mouth.

00:42:04.420 I like my mouth staying busy and just occupado.

00:42:07.540 A Spanish for busy. 0.77

00:42:09.580 Neuro energy and focus is powered by natural green tea caffeine.

00:42:13.480 L-theanine for calm focus.

00:42:15.940 And vitamin B12 and B6 for better mood and metabolism.

00:42:19.520 They've also got caffeine-free options.

00:42:21.960 Memory and focus gum with American ginseng.

00:42:24.820 Yeah!

00:42:25.580 That's a mental bump without the jitters right there.

00:42:28.140 They've also got sleep and recharge mints with melatonin and chamomile.

00:42:32.900 Helps you wind down at night without gummies that taste like melted Jolly Ranchers.

00:42:37.620 For a limited time, you can get 20% off your first order at NeuroGum.com by using code THEO.

00:42:43.740 That's NeuroGum.com and use code THEO for 20% off your first order.

00:42:50.100 You can also find Neuro at CVS and Amazon.

00:42:53.620 You know, I've noticed over the years of how much it takes to make something go.

00:42:57.780 You know, you can't just put a steering wheel and tie it to a couple wheels and then you got an automobile.

00:43:05.540 You can't just put a business idea and open a website and then you got a business.

00:43:09.920 You got to put in the time.

00:43:12.400 You know, I remember when we started podcasting, we wanted to have a merch shop so somebody could get them a little item.

00:43:17.840 A little tank top, a little tank keeney or something to support the brand.

00:43:21.840 But things started to get busy and the growth was outpacing the attention we were giving it and we needed help.

00:43:30.320 Thankfully, ShipStation was there.

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00:43:37.140 And their rate browser automatically finds you the best rates across more than 200 carriers at discounts up to 90%.

00:43:45.540 That's right.

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00:44:02.740 Start your 60-day free trial at ShipStation.com slash T-H-E-O.

00:44:08.580 That's ShipStation.com slash Theo.

00:44:11.920 As always, you know this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

00:44:16.220 Hey, I've needed help.

00:44:17.880 We've all needed it.

00:44:19.120 I've gotten it on and off over the years.

00:44:21.020 I've gotten it at times.

00:44:22.220 I've gotten it from BetterHelp themselves.

00:44:24.760 I remember I was out there driving.

00:44:27.080 I was on an S-curve and it was just too much.

00:44:29.580 I was in a four-speed or maybe a three-speed Ford Escort.

00:44:33.860 I couldn't handle it.

00:44:34.800 Had to pull over and just call, God, I need some help.

00:44:37.900 And bam, there they were, BetterHelp.

00:44:41.540 BetterHelp therapists have helped over 5 million people worldwide on their mental health journeys.

00:44:47.660 That's millions of stories, millions of journeys.

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00:44:55.620 This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who've helped millions of people take a step forward.

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00:45:08.060 Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com slash T-H-E-O.

00:45:14.040 That's BetterHelp.com slash Theo.

00:45:18.460 Here's one right here.

00:45:19.500 Let's get to it.

00:45:21.020 Theo, my name is Tom.

00:45:23.500 I've called a number of times.

00:45:26.060 What's up, Tom?

00:45:27.080 Brother, thank you for calling, man.

00:45:30.120 Well, thank you for calling back.

00:45:32.900 Onward.

00:45:34.680 I just want to thank you again for everything that you do, just for being real, for not being too good for anybody.

00:45:44.940 And that's hotline, bro.

00:45:46.760 I'm sure it means a lot to a lot of people.

00:45:48.560 I lost my son a year and a half ago to suicide.

00:45:53.500 And it was tough, man.

00:45:57.560 I still have nightmares and visions of just seeing that, finding that.

00:46:06.800 And I don't know, man.

00:46:12.600 It's hard to talk about.

00:46:13.960 But I found your show about, I'd say, four months after that happened.

00:46:20.480 And when I tell you that you gave me a reason to laugh for the first time ever since it had happened, you did, bro.

00:46:30.420 And I got to say that being an addict and being clean for the last five and a half years, it would have been real easy to use as an excuse to go back.

00:46:40.540 But, um, I didn't.

00:46:44.520 And I truly believe that God, number one, and just being able to laugh again, kept me free.

00:46:56.120 And I feel like honestly saved my life, brother.

00:46:59.900 And I appreciate it.

00:47:00.920 I love you.

00:47:01.420 I love what you do.

00:47:02.740 Thank you for everything.

00:47:05.140 Praise God, man.

00:47:06.280 Thank you, Tom.

00:47:07.540 Thank you, brother.

00:47:08.440 I'm so sorry to hear about your son.

00:47:09.900 And I bet he misses you.

00:47:12.040 And I bet he loves you.

00:47:14.120 And they may not even have feelings over there where you miss people.

00:47:17.260 I bet it's just pure love.

00:47:19.460 But, um, but I'm sorry.

00:47:22.060 I'm sorry.

00:47:22.720 I can't even.

00:47:26.240 There's not a word I could give you, you know, except that I'm happy to hear your voice today.

00:47:32.540 You know, and thanks.

00:47:33.660 Uh, thanks for letting me make, thank you for letting me be a part of your laughter.

00:47:40.960 You know, sometimes when I'm like in pain and stuff, I won't even let people make me laugh kind of.

00:47:45.100 It's like, you know, that stuff when you're like young or something or something's rough and you want to laugh.

00:47:50.000 And it's like, um, you won't let somebody make you laugh.

00:47:53.760 It's like almost out of posterity and stuff.

00:47:55.900 Um, but man, thank you, bro.

00:48:01.480 Thank you just for sharing that story today and for letting us have a moment to remember him.

00:48:07.040 I don't even know what he looks like, you know, but I'm just going to remember a sweet soul, uh, that loved his father and that was trying his best in the world.

00:48:17.900 Um.

00:48:23.760 Yeah, that's cool.

00:48:26.840 That's cool.

00:48:29.900 He seems like a, he feels like a neat kid.

00:48:32.580 So thank you so much, Tom, for sharing that with us today.

00:48:38.100 Um.

00:48:40.080 Let's hear another, let's hear another call.

00:48:42.660 We'll take one more here.

00:48:43.720 What do we got here?

00:48:46.100 Hey, what's up, Bill?

00:48:47.320 My name is Lane.

00:48:48.940 What's up, Lane, baby?

00:48:51.320 And you hear a lot about that Lane, baby.

00:48:54.340 The HOV lane, brother, that threesome, huh?

00:48:57.060 Let's hear more about it.

00:48:59.300 And, uh, I just want to call in and give my son a shout out.

00:49:03.780 His name is Mateo.

00:49:04.680 He's three years old.

00:49:06.180 And he's finishing chemo for the second time.

00:49:09.820 And, uh, I just want to ask.

00:49:11.600 Let's go.

00:49:13.580 Let me catch his name again.

00:49:15.680 I just want to call in and give my son a shout out.

00:49:18.580 His name is Mateo.

00:49:19.480 He's three years old.

00:49:20.940 And he's finishing chemo for the second time.

00:49:24.600 And, uh, I just want to ask for a prayer, brother. 1.00

00:49:27.920 You know, a prayer that that shit don't come back. 1.00

00:49:30.320 Prayer from the community. 1.00

00:49:32.200 And, uh, yeah.

00:49:34.260 Shout out to my wife for holding us down for this hard time. 1.00

00:49:37.920 Um, and I want to speak into existence that, you know, fuck it. 0.99

00:49:41.640 I'm going to do some stand up comedy. 0.99

00:49:43.420 You know, you did.

00:49:44.200 You've been a big inspiration.

00:49:45.560 So shout out to you too, Theo.

00:49:47.380 Peace.

00:49:47.700 Oh, well, thank you.

00:49:51.020 Thank you.

00:49:51.380 Thank you for the call, man.

00:49:52.580 Yeah.

00:49:53.360 I'm sorry.

00:49:54.260 I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm glad your son is being a warrior.

00:49:59.180 You know, I'm glad you're here speaking, uh, prayer towards your son.

00:50:05.020 Um, I'm glad you're requesting prayer.

00:50:08.480 Um, I'm glad that, uh, that you're reminding us.

00:50:14.460 It's okay.

00:50:14.660 It's okay to call others and ask for prayer and ask for, uh, energy.

00:50:19.340 You know, God, we forget that.

00:50:21.460 I forget that all the time.

00:50:23.860 I forget that all the time.

00:50:25.820 Um, yeah, let's, I'll say a prayer right now.

00:50:29.520 Well, God, we lift up my, my tail to you and, uh, and just keep his smile hopeful and keep

00:50:40.640 him cancer free, God.

00:50:42.800 Um, and let him have the joy that he wants in the world.

00:50:46.660 Uh, and we lift up his mother to you, God, and just all the, all the energy you continue

00:50:53.400 to give her and all the mothers out there who, who, um, who have to deal with children 1.00

00:51:00.460 who are suffering with illnesses.

00:51:02.780 Um, man, that can be a heavy, a heavy burden.

00:51:07.860 Uh, and we give thanks God that in, uh,

00:51:16.660 in witnessing other people triumph and witnessing this man, witnessing his young son, uh, battle

00:51:23.180 through chemotherapy, that it inspires him to go out and do things that inspires him to

00:51:28.420 take on things that, uh, like if he wants to do comedy or he wants to sing or he wants

00:51:33.040 to do a, um, back flip online or whatever he wants to do, you know, that it inspires him,

00:51:38.820 that it pushes him through any potential failure, you know, cause failure is just a little bit

00:51:47.440 of bootleg fear. 1.00

00:51:48.500 That's all that shit is. 1.00

00:51:51.180 That's all that shit. 1.00

00:51:53.240 That's aftermarket fear cut. 1.00

00:51:55.340 But God, we lift him up, man.

00:52:00.120 Man, that's inspiring.

00:52:02.840 Isn't it inspiring to see a little three-year-old fella out there waddling around ringing that

00:52:08.300 chemo, that cancer-free bell out there. 0.99

00:52:13.340 Him and Randy Moss out there ringing that bitch. 1.00

00:52:15.760 That's beautiful, man. 0.99

00:52:16.680 And I lift up my buddy, MK, man.

00:52:20.160 There's a friend of mine named MK and his wife and, uh, their family is dealing with,

00:52:23.880 uh, a lot of tragedy right now.

00:52:25.860 Their brother, um, her brother got shot and I don't know even the situation right now,

00:52:32.180 but, um, but yeah, I just want to lift him up, God, and just, just let his heart know

00:52:39.140 that he's not alone and let her heart know and her brother's heart know that they're not

00:52:43.200 alone, that people are thinking of them.

00:52:45.160 Um, and, uh, yeah.

00:52:52.080 So in your name we pray, man, man, um, I think we did pretty good today.

00:52:59.120 This is as good as I can do today, guys.

00:53:02.380 You know, I appreciate you.

00:53:04.500 I appreciate you getting all the warm messages.

00:53:06.240 I'm sorry.

00:53:06.780 I rambled a lot about, um, what happened in New York city, but I wanted to take a few days

00:53:13.040 to kind of digest it because it was all out of my, it was like, it wasn't all out of

00:53:16.560 my control, but there was a lot of stuff going on.

00:53:18.520 I'm like, some of this is real.

00:53:19.540 Some of this is not.

00:53:20.900 Um, and I don't like to take any action when I'm a little bit tired, you know?

00:53:26.320 Um, so I want to thank the people that did come out to the show and, uh, it was what it

00:53:36.380 was, uh, it was what it was boy at that.

00:53:41.580 We Smith stuff, bro.

00:53:42.640 Um, no, but thank you.

00:53:44.840 Thank you to anybody that's come out to my show.

00:53:46.320 Thank you to anybody that's just been supportive.

00:53:48.140 That's been a part of this group.

00:53:49.580 We're good.

00:53:50.920 We're good here.

00:53:53.440 We're good here.

00:53:55.880 So I just want you to know that wholeheartedly.

00:53:58.680 I'm not here.

00:54:01.180 Uh, uh, we're good here.

00:54:06.080 And, um, and I'm looking forward to actually taking some time off.

00:54:11.220 I just want to do things that are fun for me.

00:54:13.040 I want to spend time around my friends and stuff like that.

00:54:16.260 And then at the same time, I got to get a little bit of space.

00:54:18.460 Sometimes I spend so much time like on my phone, these things like just texting so many

00:54:22.380 things that are just kind of like, I just want to be able to, uh, have a little bit of

00:54:26.000 peace for myself and I deserve it.

00:54:28.600 Right.

00:54:29.680 And I deserve it.

00:54:30.560 We all deserve it.

00:54:32.120 And, um, so yeah, I want to thank everybody for their calls.

00:54:36.660 I want to thank everybody for their care.

00:54:38.100 I want to thank everybody for their calls, sharing, uh, their own words and, um, and

00:54:44.360 stories and, uh, um, on the hotline.

00:54:48.780 And, um, I did get back on my medication.

00:54:51.340 I want people to know that, you know, I'm not worried about that kind of stuff.

00:54:54.760 Uh, you know, and maybe one day I'll be able to be off of it.

00:55:03.440 You know, I'm going to make sure that I work with a doctor.

00:55:06.240 If I, if I think about that again, um, but one day it would be nice to, you know, be able

00:55:13.700 to kind of have all your feelings, you know, in a manageable way and, um, to have all of

00:55:20.140 your feelings, you know, so, um, all right.

00:55:24.540 Thank you guys so much.

00:55:25.700 And, uh, man, we've got a lot of life to look forward to.

00:55:29.500 I believe that.

00:55:30.440 And I know you do too.

00:55:31.960 And, uh, yeah, you guys be good to yourselves.

00:55:35.340 I'm gonna do the same thing.

00:55:36.900 Okay.

00:55:37.320 I promise.

00:55:38.280 All right.

00:55:38.880 I'm upstairs gang, baby.

00:55:41.860 Now, I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

00:55:48.380 I must be cornerstone.

00:55:53.600 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

00:55:59.120 I can feel it in my bones.

00:56:03.380 But it's gonna take.

00:56:05.060 I'm gonna do the same thing.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 02, 2025

#614 - New York Circus

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