This Past Weekend with Theo Von - December 23, 2025


#630 - Stephen Wilson Jr.


Episode Stats


Length

2 hours and 34 minutes

Words per minute

185.52274

Word count

28,688

Sentence count

1,059

Harmful content

Misogyny

65

sentences flagged

Toxicity

258

sentences flagged

Hate speech

43

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of TCHEESE, I sit down with country music singer-songwriter, Gary Gray. We talk about his upbringing in the country, his new single, "Gary," and how he got his start in country music.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
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00:01:13.300 Today's guest is a musician and a songwriter, originally by way of Southern Indiana.
00:01:19.700 He's got that voice in him.
00:01:21.160 He's got that power in him.
00:01:22.300 He's got it.
00:01:22.760 He's got it.
00:01:24.820 He has a new single, Gary, that's out now and a sold-out tour in the spring.
00:01:30.040 I'm thankful to finally get to sit down with Mr. Stephen Wilson Jr.
00:01:34.740 I'm going to sit down.
00:01:45.180 Man, I'm such a fan of yours on all levels.
00:01:54.980 Your podcast and your comedy and your humanity.
00:01:59.580 So, yeah.
00:02:00.820 It's an honor to be here.
00:02:03.280 I appreciate it.
00:02:04.140 Stephen Wilson Jr., thank you so much, dude.
00:02:05.920 Thank you, Theo.
00:02:06.260 Yeah, it's really cool.
00:02:06.680 I think this is one of those moments where I feel, yeah, like just so lucky that I get to, that some of this job has ended up like this.
00:02:14.540 Like getting to talk to people that, yeah, some people would love to sit down with, you know.
00:02:19.940 So, thanks so much, man.
00:02:22.340 I appreciate it.
00:02:22.760 You're welcome.
00:02:23.000 You just had a pretty decent run at the CMAs this year.
00:02:27.380 Yeah, it was a, you know.
00:02:29.180 Were you new artist of the year?
00:02:30.620 Yes, I was nominated for new artist of the year, which blew my mind.
00:02:34.660 And did you win a Red Clay Strays one who?
00:02:38.040 Zach Top won.
00:02:39.140 Zach Top won.
00:02:39.880 Very well deserved.
00:02:40.800 And that man has had a big year, and I'm a big fan of his.
00:02:45.920 Yes.
00:02:46.260 And I was very happy for him.
00:02:47.640 And I was really rooting for everybody but myself.
00:02:51.500 I didn't really think I even had a prayer's chance in hell of winning.
00:02:56.760 But I was just, like, honestly, being nominated was a huge win for me because, you know, I wasn't supposed to be there on paper.
00:03:04.180 You know, like there's a lot of things that, like, I contradict.
00:03:08.400 And so just being there, you know, it meant a lot just to be out there.
00:03:14.080 And it was really wild when I remember when they said my name and, like, it didn't feel like I was like, that's somebody else.
00:03:20.940 Oh, yeah.
00:03:21.280 That's not me.
00:03:22.140 That's like a.
00:03:23.220 Oh, for sure.
00:03:24.640 Well, do you think of yourself as country music?
00:03:28.620 I do.
00:03:29.640 Yeah.
00:03:30.200 I am a country boy.
00:03:32.240 I grew up in the country.
00:03:34.140 So I am very country just by culture.
00:03:38.400 And I cannot help but write country songs.
00:03:42.600 I grew up listening to country music and classic rock.
00:03:46.300 I grew up in body shops and it was all classic rock and country music, old school and 90s.
00:03:52.460 And so that was kind of my pedigree, my listening pedigree.
00:03:57.000 And then I grew up very country, very agrarian, kind of hunting for our own food.
00:04:04.320 And I ate a lot of squirrels growing up and rabbits.
00:04:08.040 And, yeah, we just grew up very country.
00:04:10.120 It wasn't trendy at all either.
00:04:11.940 It was, like, just a means of survival.
00:04:14.100 My dad was raising three kids on his own.
00:04:17.060 And so he just went out and killed food.
00:04:19.540 It was a lot cheaper than buying it at the grocery store.
00:04:22.040 Like, you know, one slug, one deer slug could feed you for, like, three months.
00:04:27.800 So, like, that's the way he looked at it.
00:04:29.640 Oh, there's a beautiful group right there, you guys' kids, huh?
00:04:32.240 That's my dad and his three little ones.
00:04:35.200 And that's me.
00:04:37.100 That you on the bottom left there, kind of the middle?
00:04:38.840 Yeah, in the middle.
00:04:40.020 Yeah.
00:04:40.720 And who's that dime on his lap, huh?
00:04:42.480 And I mean that respectfully, because it's a child.
00:04:46.760 Who's that beautiful young lady? 1.00
00:04:47.960 Yeah, that's my little sister, Lacey J.
00:04:50.120 Lacey J?
00:04:50.960 Lacey J.
00:04:51.920 Yeah, named after Lacey J Dalton, another country singer. 0.90
00:04:55.320 But, yeah, she's his little girl, and she is beautiful.
00:05:01.740 And she's a beautiful person in general.
00:05:04.300 She's really kept our whole family.
00:05:07.100 Like, me and my brother right there, we're, like, Irish twins.
00:05:09.600 We're only, like, a year and a few months apart.
00:05:12.340 So, like, we grew up beating the hell out of each other.
00:05:15.640 We were both boxers.
00:05:16.540 My dad right there, in this picture, he had just won, you know,
00:05:21.540 the Golden Gloves for, like, the third or fourth time in a row.
00:05:24.380 So, and, you know, he was probably just running over to, like,
00:05:29.040 Olin Mills or somewhere at Walmart and grabbing this picture real quick.
00:05:32.920 So, just so, like, just that there's proof that we existed
00:05:36.220 and proof that he did this.
00:05:37.880 And I always find it wild that he had time to even snap that picture
00:05:42.740 amidst his life.
00:05:44.720 It was so crazy at the time.
00:05:46.340 Well, and for a dad to put that together, that didn't, you know,
00:05:49.580 that wasn't really the dad world.
00:05:51.580 So, he was a single dad raising you guys?
00:05:53.340 Yeah, he was driving a bus in the morning and then working at a body shop
00:05:57.300 and training to be a boxer.
00:05:59.100 He was wanting to be a pro boxer, but a lot of things, you know,
00:06:02.820 he had to really kind of focus on being a dad
00:06:05.100 and kind of had to put his boxing career,
00:06:08.080 because he really had a very promising career ahead of him.
00:06:10.860 And so, a lot of my dreams, I live kind of, you know, for him and myself,
00:06:16.820 because he put a lot of his dreams on the back burner to raise me.
00:06:21.900 Like, but he also created me.
00:06:23.560 So, like, he kind of had to do that.
00:06:25.820 Right.
00:06:26.120 You know, like, so, but, you know, a lot of people don't take that responsibility.
00:06:29.660 And when I see that picture, I have, like you said, a memory.
00:06:35.520 Well, he either got the, he's got great dimples,
00:06:37.420 or somebody caught him with two good hooks.
00:06:38.980 No, yeah, he's got great dimples.
00:06:40.460 He does.
00:06:40.900 Okay, I thought I was going to give.
00:06:41.680 He has the same ones.
00:06:43.120 And, but, yeah, I see that guy right there,
00:06:46.100 and about a year from that picture,
00:06:47.520 he would have been curling my little sister's hair
00:06:50.000 and getting her ready for kindergarten.
00:06:52.580 And even though his eyes were swollen shut from sparring the night before,
00:06:57.080 I have, like, distinct memories of him, like, getting her ready for school
00:07:00.520 and being, like, a dad to a very young little girl,
00:07:04.600 like, and, like, you know, crimping her hair and curling it.
00:07:07.960 And, you know, being a dad also doing feminine things, 1.00
00:07:13.440 like, because there was no one to do the feminine things. 1.00
00:07:16.900 So, he was like, oh, I got to be dad.
00:07:18.740 And he was really good, and he knew how to do the dude,
00:07:21.760 the dad dude part.
00:07:23.060 Like, he had me and my brother boxing every night,
00:07:25.100 and we were hunting and fishing and doing all the dude things.
00:07:29.060 But he had also had to be a dad to a little girl
00:07:31.880 that was, like, the light of his life.
00:07:34.340 Wow.
00:07:34.780 That was, like, quite the responsibility.
00:07:36.860 And I look back on that, and I have, like I said,
00:07:39.780 just such a distinct memory of him curling her hair,
00:07:42.640 like, while morning cartoons are playing right before we got on the school bus.
00:07:46.400 And, yeah, he was quite the dude.
00:07:49.520 What was his name?
00:07:51.280 Steven Wilson.
00:07:52.120 Oh, he was senior.
00:07:53.300 Yes.
00:07:53.600 You just never know.
00:07:54.420 Sometimes they'll throw a junior on somebody
00:07:55.960 just because they don't know what's going on.
00:07:57.440 Yeah, I know.
00:07:57.960 You know, or they're just a NASCAR fan,
00:07:59.500 they'll tack it onto the back of their kid's name.
00:08:01.260 I can pick that, like a donkey tail, ladies, put it on there like a junior. 1.00
00:08:05.420 Like, yeah, we'll pin the tail on this child, you know?
00:08:07.980 No, I'm very much a junior.
00:08:10.320 It's very much a thing in boxing especially.
00:08:12.860 Like, you know, I joke around that, you know, my dad, you know,
00:08:21.760 he was named after a martyr in the Bible.
00:08:25.020 Like, my grandmother named him after a guy that had rocks thrown at him
00:08:31.020 until he died in the Bible.
00:08:33.500 Steven with a pH, by the way, which makes a lot of sense
00:08:36.520 because I'm pretty sure my dad was stoned when I was born.
00:08:39.200 Was he?
00:08:39.460 That's the joke.
00:08:40.180 Oh, the pH level of his brain was probably weed probably then.
00:08:43.700 It might have been plus 40 then.
00:08:45.300 Depends on if he was on some serious gas or not.
00:08:47.780 He did like perhaps the country cabbage.
00:08:52.000 The story of Stephen from the Bible.
00:08:55.000 Stephen, the first Christian martyr,
00:08:56.720 oh, the first Christian martyr was stoned to death outside Jerusalem
00:08:59.200 for his faith as described in Acts 7 of the Bible.
00:09:02.000 His executioners, including a young Saul, threw rocks at him
00:09:05.100 after he testified about Jesus.
00:09:07.820 Why did Saul not want him to testify on him?
00:09:11.560 Did he not believe him or did he just not want him sharing the truth?
00:09:14.320 Well, Saul at the time, this is pre-Paul,
00:09:17.640 because Saul turned into Paul once he saw Christ,
00:09:20.720 like the spirit of Christ appeared before him,
00:09:23.340 and that's when he became Paul.
00:09:25.160 But at that point, Saul was very much a figure of the Jewish religion.
00:09:32.640 Like he was a very high-ranking Jewish official.
00:09:36.960 So like he was kind of, you know, like a high-ranking individual.
00:09:41.860 And so he was really, in his mind at that time,
00:09:44.700 probably just doing his job, you know,
00:09:47.040 not really knowing why he was doing it.
00:09:49.080 But then he, you know, he had a very much a come-to-Jesus moment,
00:09:53.980 no pun intended.
00:09:55.520 And that's when he became Paul.
00:09:56.620 And he wrote literally probably two-thirds of the New Testament,
00:10:01.420 or at least a lot of it, or half of it at least.
00:10:05.380 This says here, and we use perplexity AI,
00:10:08.440 and it says,
00:10:09.220 before his conversion, Saul was a zealous Pharisee who believed followers of Jesus
00:10:19.380 were dangerous heretics. 0.55
00:10:20.860 So from his perspective,
00:10:21.900 Stephen's preaching against their rejection of Jesus
00:10:24.400 and his criticism of their misuse of the temple 0.96
00:10:26.660 was blasphemous and deserved death under the understanding of the law.
00:10:30.320 That zeal led him to participate 0.68
00:10:32.220 by giving approval and overseeing the execution,
00:10:34.400 which he later remembered with deep sorrow
00:10:35.780 when he became the apostle Paul.
00:10:37.480 Wow.
00:10:37.860 Gosh, dude, that's, I mean, that's got to be a lot to carry
00:10:42.380 because if Stephen was the first Christian martyr
00:10:45.420 and you had him stoned because your faith wasn't there yet
00:10:51.180 and then to look back through a different perspective.
00:10:53.560 Not much longer after that.
00:10:55.160 For him to be like,
00:10:56.400 oh, now I'm preaching the same gospel
00:10:58.300 without rocks being thrown at me.
00:11:01.060 And now that's a,
00:11:02.560 that has to be quite the thing to come to terms with.
00:11:06.740 And I think that's what motivated him to write,
00:11:10.960 you know, so many epistles of the New Testament
00:11:14.580 and became such a huge figure of the New Testament.
00:11:18.800 There's a lot of books that they believe were written by Paul,
00:11:21.580 like the book of Hebrews.
00:11:22.700 There's like no author,
00:11:24.120 but they believe even he wrote like books
00:11:27.360 that nobody has any author to.
00:11:30.200 Like they just,
00:11:30.840 they can identify his style of writing
00:11:33.640 and be like,
00:11:34.500 it had to be Paul.
00:11:36.060 So, yeah.
00:11:37.700 People love your style of writing, man.
00:11:39.420 Speaking of that.
00:11:39.960 I grew up very religious.
00:11:41.380 That's why I talk about,
00:11:42.300 I grew up in a Pentecostal,
00:11:43.800 Nazarene kind of church,
00:11:45.300 a lot of Holy Roland.
00:11:46.380 And I read a lot of the Bible.
00:11:49.060 Well, yeah,
00:11:49.260 I just started going to a Bible study.
00:11:50.600 This is the first time I've ever been to a Bible study in my life.
00:11:52.540 And so it's been interesting to start to just learn
00:11:55.200 about different characters from the Bible
00:11:56.380 and just different stories and stuff.
00:11:57.660 So, yeah,
00:11:58.940 I'm just glad that we even got to talk about that.
00:12:00.580 And yeah,
00:12:01.060 and that that's how your father was named from Stephen.
00:12:02.720 I didn't know that story and now I'll remember it.
00:12:04.580 Yeah.
00:12:05.020 And so that's pretty cool.
00:12:06.560 What was that?
00:12:07.360 Yeah.
00:12:07.540 The church you went to,
00:12:09.400 cause you're from the Midwest.
00:12:10.880 You're from Indiana.
00:12:12.260 Yeah.
00:12:12.440 I'm from where I'm from Southern Indiana,
00:12:14.460 Kentucky,
00:12:15.320 and they call that area,
00:12:16.620 like just North of Louisville,
00:12:17.720 Kentucky,
00:12:18.400 just close to where Trevin's from.
00:12:20.460 And okay.
00:12:21.300 That's our producer.
00:12:21.800 I would say that's where the Midwest and the South
00:12:24.540 kind of chest bump or shake hands.
00:12:26.520 It is literally a collision of two cultures. 0.97
00:12:29.120 So people have Southern accents and watch NASCAR,
00:12:32.600 but they also put noodles in their chili,
00:12:34.740 which is a very Midwestern thing.
00:12:36.740 So yeah,
00:12:37.540 there it is.
00:12:38.260 Jackson County,
00:12:39.220 Indiana,
00:12:39.580 right there in this Southern part.
00:12:41.840 Oh yeah.
00:12:42.180 The Midwest,
00:12:43.040 they'll starch up a protein in a second.
00:12:44.740 They don't give a dang brother.
00:12:46.180 They'll put a starch right in the middle of a protein. 1.00
00:12:48.260 Yeah.
00:12:48.600 That's how they are there.
00:12:49.600 They love that.
00:12:50.380 It's long winters.
00:12:52.140 It gets cold.
00:12:53.080 You need them starches. 1.00
00:12:54.300 Oh yeah.
00:12:54.660 I would grow.
00:12:55.100 I mean,
00:12:55.260 I would go,
00:12:56.240 we used to go to the AC.
00:12:57.500 It was an apostolic Christian church with my grandparents and some of their neighbors.
00:13:01.380 And it was in Illinois,
00:13:03.440 like in pretty much Southern Illinois.
00:13:05.720 And that was just part of the culture.
00:13:07.220 Like people would eat their dessert at the beginning of dinner sometimes.
00:13:09.820 So they made sure they got their dessert in.
00:13:12.640 Like it was just kind of some of that culture.
00:13:13.840 Yeah.
00:13:14.000 You don't want to miss that.
00:13:15.240 Get too full and getting too excited on mashed potatoes.
00:13:18.220 And they're like, 1.00
00:13:18.640 damn, 0.99
00:13:19.320 I ain't got nothing. 1.00
00:13:20.660 It was almost a shame.
00:13:22.180 If you couldn't make,
00:13:23.340 if you didn't have space available in your body for a beautiful dessert,
00:13:26.820 somebody had made,
00:13:27.420 you almost felt a bit of shamed in a way.
00:13:30.860 Yeah.
00:13:31.180 And you should be like,
00:13:32.160 think how much work was put into that cobbler compared to those mashed potatoes. 0.72
00:13:35.940 Like you ate the easy stuff.
00:13:39.940 Oh,
00:13:40.100 and sometimes you'd have somebody,
00:13:41.500 you know,
00:13:41.640 you'd have such skilled labor in there.
00:13:42.960 You'd have a real cobbler making the cobbler. 0.99
00:13:44.620 You'd have a damn shoelace going through a peach, 1.00
00:13:48.760 you know? 1.00
00:13:49.220 Yeah.
00:13:49.600 You'd be in there.
00:13:50.400 Some boot lace cobbler.
00:13:51.600 Yeah.
00:13:51.920 You'd find,
00:13:52.560 yeah,
00:13:53.400 you'd find half a soul and,
00:13:55.720 you know,
00:13:56.780 you'd be like,
00:13:57.400 oh,
00:13:57.560 is this,
00:13:58.060 is this crossed or is this a,
00:13:59.780 you know,
00:14:00.560 part of an 11 and a half?
00:14:01.840 Yeah.
00:14:01.960 What is this cobbler?
00:14:03.080 Soulless?
00:14:03.680 Yeah.
00:14:04.120 Yeah.
00:14:04.320 Like,
00:14:04.660 no,
00:14:04.980 not so much.
00:14:05.620 He's got real,
00:14:06.120 real heels in the corner, 0.98
00:14:07.920 you know,
00:14:08.300 it was just,
00:14:09.060 but there was so much value.
00:14:11.140 I remember in my grandmother's town on cooking and on having people over for meals,
00:14:15.360 just that Midwestern culture,
00:14:17.220 you know,
00:14:17.440 on hard work and religion was a big part of it.
00:14:20.860 You know,
00:14:21.380 even their neighbors,
00:14:22.340 if my grandparents couldn't take us to church,
00:14:24.040 their neighbors would offer,
00:14:25.520 we'll take them to church,
00:14:26.560 you know,
00:14:26.840 and we go in and just get to see what some of the different churches were like.
00:14:31.300 And that was one of the bigger religions in the area was apostolic Christian over there.
00:14:34.480 Did you see any exorcisms or any speaking in tongues or movements of the spirit?
00:14:39.980 Let me think.
00:14:40.660 No,
00:14:40.960 they had good donuts.
00:14:42.780 They braided their hair.
00:14:44.080 The women did like one big braid. 1.00
00:14:46.560 They didn't show a lot,
00:14:47.480 you know,
00:14:47.640 it was very kind of covered up with some of the female culture. 1.00
00:14:49.920 They braided their donuts?
00:14:50.660 They did have those one.
00:14:53.760 What is that one that's braided?
00:14:54.940 I don't know.
00:14:55.720 I don't know what it's called.
00:14:57.160 I don't love it.
00:14:58.380 I don't either.
00:14:59.160 Yeah.
00:14:59.480 It's too much braided.
00:15:00.320 I don't think there's filling in it.
00:15:01.260 You think there is when you're a kid.
00:15:02.880 It's very deceiving.
00:15:04.820 Twisted donut.
00:15:05.620 No,
00:15:05.780 there's a word for it.
00:15:07.980 And,
00:15:08.080 um,
00:15:08.760 it's,
00:15:09.160 what is that?
00:15:11.120 Kreller was one that I loved,
00:15:13.040 but I don't think this was a Kreller. 0.98
00:15:15.280 Well,
00:15:15.660 Kreller often made from show pastry,
00:15:18.220 French Kreller or yeast dough with a distinctive twisted shape.
00:15:21.320 Oh,
00:15:21.400 maybe it was a Kreller.
00:15:22.840 Yeah.
00:15:23.400 Maybe it was,
00:15:24.140 but I,
00:15:24.680 yeah.
00:15:24.780 I'm thinking of something else though.
00:15:25.900 It looked good as a kid,
00:15:27.460 but it was,
00:15:27.860 it was deceiving.
00:15:28.400 Yeah.
00:15:28.440 It was always like,
00:15:29.180 oh,
00:15:29.360 I want that.
00:15:29.980 And then you would eat it and you'd be like,
00:15:31.220 man, 0.99
00:15:31.540 this is trash. 1.00
00:15:32.560 Yeah. 0.99
00:15:32.780 I should have went with that Bavarian cream.
00:15:34.720 Yeah.
00:15:35.000 Or I should have went with the one with the frosting on it,
00:15:37.020 you know?
00:15:37.800 Um,
00:15:38.440 but we had a beautiful time.
00:15:39.300 Yeah.
00:15:39.400 I didn't meet any,
00:15:40.160 uh,
00:15:40.720 there was no seancery really.
00:15:42.220 I do remember there was a mentally handicapped fellow who said he could drive
00:15:46.160 and he was a driver's ed instructor and he wasn't,
00:15:48.220 he was just,
00:15:49.520 uh,
00:15:50.920 you know,
00:15:51.400 and some people believe it was mentally handicapped.
00:15:52.840 Some were like,
00:15:53.240 he's possessed by the devil.
00:15:54.280 And I'm like,
00:15:54.700 well,
00:15:54.860 he's not possessed by like a devil who just,
00:15:56.700 you know,
00:15:57.820 um,
00:15:58.600 is sitting around his pick in his nose and just,
00:16:00.900 you know,
00:16:01.360 he was just a little bit off this dude named Brandon.
00:16:03.760 And he was awesome.
00:16:04.660 Actually.
00:16:05.580 Um,
00:16:06.020 he was kind of this special guy between an adult and a kid and he never left that
00:16:09.920 zone,
00:16:10.400 you know?
00:16:11.220 So there was something kind of very approachable to him about kids,
00:16:15.500 uh,
00:16:16.360 because he was bigger than us,
00:16:17.840 but he was just like us.
00:16:19.480 And he,
00:16:20.240 uh,
00:16:20.460 he,
00:16:20.760 he taught me how to,
00:16:21.600 he said he could drive and he,
00:16:23.500 we drove right into a snow bank and the police came and everything,
00:16:25.840 but it was just exciting though.
00:16:28.160 He was, 1.00
00:16:28.580 he was a liar. 0.99
00:16:29.560 Yeah. 0.99
00:16:29.880 He was a good place for him to be at church.
00:16:32.520 He was a Bears fan.
00:16:33.880 I think it was a tough time for everybody.
00:16:36.100 Um,
00:16:36.840 that's,
00:16:37.340 that's,
00:16:37.760 I mean,
00:16:37.980 I gotta say,
00:16:38.600 I saw quite a few demon possessed Brandon's.
00:16:41.220 Where I grew up.
00:16:41.980 I saw a lot of Brandon's get demons cast out of them.
00:16:45.880 Really?
00:16:46.280 So you would see that at your church?
00:16:47.800 Yeah.
00:16:48.280 And what was that kind of like?
00:16:49.360 Like,
00:16:49.820 cause something,
00:16:50.760 someplace that's a part of a culture.
00:16:52.000 And I believe that I believe in that type of stuff.
00:16:54.800 Do you believe in it?
00:16:56.180 I do,
00:16:56.880 uh,
00:16:57.480 you know,
00:16:57.800 I have a,
00:16:58.500 you know,
00:16:58.840 that I've tried to deconstruct a lot of that through,
00:17:03.340 cause I have a science background.
00:17:04.920 I've had to really try to understand a lot of that and understand what is real and what is not.
00:17:10.400 But there was a lot of it that was 100% real.
00:17:13.280 And there was a lot of it that was 100% not.
00:17:16.640 And,
00:17:16.900 uh,
00:17:17.100 you know,
00:17:17.600 I believe there's theatrics,
00:17:18.940 but I also believe,
00:17:19.940 you know,
00:17:20.500 God is everywhere.
00:17:21.240 And I believe God did show up in those places just like God will show up in any place.
00:17:26.300 Um,
00:17:27.500 but yeah,
00:17:27.840 I did see a lot of,
00:17:30.180 you know, 0.98
00:17:31.380 grown ass drywall dudes get like demons cast out of them before lunch. 0.94
00:17:36.440 And I'd be like sitting there with half a pop tart in my stomach watching this dude literally like throwing dudes around and like exhibiting some superhuman strength. 0.97
00:17:46.560 Oh,
00:17:46.680 they're popping the tart right out of that dude. 0.89
00:17:48.360 Yeah.
00:17:49.620 Yeah.
00:17:50.380 That's the original pop tart. 1.00
00:17:51.820 Dude is a damn exorcist. 1.00
00:17:53.040 Yeah. 1.00
00:17:53.380 He just created the original pop tart.
00:17:55.780 That cherry flavored pop tart was from a demon exorcism.
00:17:59.020 That's why it's red.
00:17:59.920 Yeah.
00:18:00.080 You just know they could have gone with a lot of darker flavors,
00:18:02.380 but they're like,
00:18:02.920 let's make this available to children.
00:18:04.900 And but dude,
00:18:05.640 a pop tart's an exorcism. 1.00
00:18:07.140 Shit. 1.00
00:18:07.400 I'm, 1.00
00:18:07.740 I am there,
00:18:08.760 dude.
00:18:08.900 I sit on your lap.
00:18:09.860 Speaking in tongues.
00:18:11.160 Um,
00:18:11.460 I actually went,
00:18:12.800 uh,
00:18:13.160 we,
00:18:13.440 you know,
00:18:13.780 some,
00:18:14.460 you know,
00:18:14.680 in our town,
00:18:15.640 like an evangelist could like show up to your church and like a traveling evangelist and be like,
00:18:20.700 we're having revival here this week.
00:18:22.460 Yeah.
00:18:22.920 Literally the church would shut down and be like,
00:18:24.800 we're having revival y'all.
00:18:26.500 Uh,
00:18:26.780 this is what we're doing.
00:18:27.700 And the whole week would be a revival just because this dude showed up and said,
00:18:31.100 God told me to have a revival here.
00:18:32.960 And they would have a huge,
00:18:35.120 like big tent revival.
00:18:36.500 No way.
00:18:37.120 Absolutely.
00:18:37.700 And it's always been my dream to be a part of something like that.
00:18:39.840 No,
00:18:40.040 I just,
00:18:40.320 Leap of Faith was my favorite movie growing up.
00:18:42.200 Dude,
00:18:42.360 that movie changed my life.
00:18:43.000 Nobody knows about it.
00:18:43.960 It's one of the greatest movies ever made.
00:18:46.300 Literally changed my life.
00:18:47.700 Oh my gosh.
00:18:48.740 I'm so glad you know about that movie.
00:18:50.480 Like very few people I've,
00:18:51.660 I've been able to talk to about that movie because it has one of the most profound impacts on me.
00:18:57.340 Really?
00:18:57.740 As a kid,
00:18:58.420 just because of how I grew up and the music business and seeing performance and theatrics and,
00:19:03.700 you know,
00:19:03.860 where is God and where isn't God.
00:19:05.640 And,
00:19:06.160 uh,
00:19:06.320 that movie is just brilliantly done.
00:19:09.120 But I remember I went up,
00:19:10.660 this dude showed up and,
00:19:12.720 uh,
00:19:12.880 he said,
00:19:13.180 tonight everybody's getting slain in the spirit.
00:19:15.180 You come up,
00:19:15.720 you're getting slain.
00:19:16.960 And I don't know if you know what slain means. 0.91
00:19:18.520 Like you,
00:19:18.920 you stand up there and the dude hits you and you fall down and you just out for however long.
00:19:24.340 And,
00:19:24.780 um,
00:19:25.220 everybody,
00:19:25.540 everybody lined up and I was like,
00:19:27.700 I'm getting slain tonight.
00:19:29.180 I've never been slain. 0.99
00:19:30.420 That's that freaking religious Percocet right there. 0.99
00:19:32.560 Yeah. 0.99
00:19:32.760 I would,
00:19:33.200 I would wanted it bad.
00:19:35.340 And,
00:19:35.800 uh,
00:19:36.180 he just knocking people over left and right.
00:19:38.180 Boom,
00:19:38.640 boom,
00:19:39.080 boom.
00:19:39.320 I'd seen him go down.
00:19:40.340 It's like,
00:19:40.520 he's coming to me.
00:19:41.420 No way.
00:19:41.860 He got to me.
00:19:42.720 And then he started speaking in tongues.
00:19:44.940 And I remember he tapped me right in the forehead.
00:19:46.720 Boom.
00:19:47.220 Like that.
00:19:47.820 And I was like,
00:19:49.140 oh,
00:19:49.900 that was,
00:19:50.700 that was kind of hard.
00:19:51.600 And I was like training for the golden gloves at that time.
00:19:53.700 So I was like a little bit like,
00:19:55.300 what's up?
00:19:55.700 Like he just like hit me right in the forehead with his fingers.
00:19:58.500 Yeah.
00:19:58.800 And then he started,
00:19:59.900 you know,
00:20:00.120 it didn't work.
00:20:00.900 Like it didn't take.
00:20:02.320 And so he did it again,
00:20:03.620 even harder.
00:20:04.160 And I was like,
00:20:04.980 kind of like mad about it at that point because it actually kind of hurt.
00:20:08.660 I was like,
00:20:08.880 is this dude trying to knock me out?
00:20:10.400 Yeah.
00:20:10.660 Or like,
00:20:11.200 is he trying to slay me in the spirit?
00:20:13.200 And anyway,
00:20:14.460 he just,
00:20:15.040 yeah,
00:20:15.100 let's look at the judge's cards. 0.95
00:20:16.220 And I'm just like getting hit in the forehead by him.
00:20:18.200 And then he just moved on.
00:20:19.800 It was one of the most heartbreaking things.
00:20:21.280 He went to the next guy and knocked him out.
00:20:23.060 Next guy down,
00:20:23.920 down.
00:20:24.220 Were you being defiant?
00:20:25.240 Do you think?
00:20:25.680 I don't know.
00:20:26.360 I thought like,
00:20:26.940 man,
00:20:27.180 I guess I don't believe.
00:20:29.180 Am I,
00:20:29.720 did I like snap out of it?
00:20:31.540 Was I,
00:20:32.060 you know,
00:20:32.560 was I not in the moment?
00:20:34.400 I didn't,
00:20:34.760 I didn't really know what to think.
00:20:36.080 Cause I was like a 19 year old kid just trying to feel God and try to get closer to God.
00:20:41.980 And everybody seemed to be doing that.
00:20:43.840 And what was wild is like,
00:20:45.200 he knocked everybody up and there was all these bodies all over the floor.
00:20:48.440 People like putting modesty cloths all over him and stuff.
00:20:51.860 And,
00:20:52.000 and they're just out there asleep.
00:20:54.180 So I had to like walk all over all these bodies to get back to my. 0.96
00:20:59.120 You're like,
00:20:59.520 Oh yeah.
00:21:00.340 And it's kind of embarrassing.
00:21:01.360 It's almost the walk of shame.
00:21:02.520 It was,
00:21:02.740 it was the most shameful walk I've ever taken at church.
00:21:06.560 I guess I'm not.
00:21:07.720 I guess I'm not.
00:21:08.700 And what really made me laugh or at least kind of helped break me out of it.
00:21:12.120 Missing the spirit.
00:21:12.680 I remember thinking like,
00:21:14.460 what if I step on?
00:21:15.620 Cause everybody had their hands out,
00:21:16.860 just kind of laid out.
00:21:17.880 What if I step on someone's hand?
00:21:19.980 Will I snap them out of it?
00:21:21.780 And then be like,
00:21:22.240 and then they'll go back in or would they be out?
00:21:25.080 Like,
00:21:25.240 Oh,
00:21:25.340 you stepped on my hand and now I'm no longer slain.
00:21:27.540 I was like,
00:21:28.000 how did.
00:21:28.600 Or like Steven with the center,
00:21:30.460 you know,
00:21:30.840 old Steven Wilson Jr.
00:21:31.860 Who can't even get the dark arts exercised out of him.
00:21:34.300 Is there ever you're waking up people who are doing well,
00:21:36.840 breaking fingers with his,
00:21:38.380 with his steel toe boots,
00:21:40.460 shamefully walking back to his pew.
00:21:42.680 I never thought about the walk of shame at church.
00:21:45.620 What is a,
00:21:46.300 um,
00:21:46.920 what is a modesty cloth?
00:21:49.300 Um,
00:21:49.860 well,
00:21:50.280 like sometimes a lady would get slain and she's wearing a skirt, 1.00
00:21:54.140 you know,
00:21:54.620 it's a Pentecostal church and they,
00:21:56.740 they cover and make sure like,
00:21:58.400 Oh,
00:21:58.580 that's a lot of skirt. 1.00
00:21:59.580 Do we call them skirtings because they were so long,
00:22:02.780 you know,
00:22:03.020 and some of them would be actual curtains that they had taken off of a window
00:22:05.580 somewhere.
00:22:06.120 Some of them you'd even see like that stick,
00:22:07.800 you know,
00:22:07.920 the stick that's on the edge of a curtain that you can like,
00:22:10.060 if you turn it,
00:22:10.780 it'll go up.
00:22:11.520 Some of them even have those.
00:22:12.800 Yeah.
00:22:13.580 You're just sitting over there.
00:22:14.760 But if you're trying to get a,
00:22:16.960 you got to spend that thing for a long time.
00:22:18.900 Blinds underneath. 0.87
00:22:19.320 Yeah.
00:22:20.740 Yeah.
00:22:21.140 They got blinds.
00:22:22.080 Those vertical blinds.
00:22:23.720 Yeah.
00:22:24.840 They cure you from blindness.
00:22:26.640 Dude,
00:22:26.880 that's pretty funny,
00:22:27.760 dude.
00:22:28.260 Thinking about something like that.
00:22:29.960 We're thinking about something that's funny together with somebody is
00:22:32.160 something that's awesome,
00:22:33.180 dude.
00:22:33.600 Yeah.
00:22:33.800 It was like,
00:22:34.380 it helped me get through it.
00:22:35.540 Like the,
00:22:36.440 cause like you said,
00:22:37.240 there was a shamefulness to it,
00:22:38.400 but it actually was kind of funny.
00:22:40.340 So they put that modesty blanket on them.
00:22:42.260 There's a modesty cloth.
00:22:43.460 That's good for that.
00:22:44.820 Yeah.
00:22:45.500 Good for that,
00:22:46.040 that at least,
00:22:46.660 yeah,
00:22:46.800 because there's some guys and lurkers that would just be up there.
00:22:50.320 Yeah.
00:22:50.820 You never know.
00:22:51.640 And,
00:22:51.800 and like,
00:22:52.240 like I said,
00:22:53.020 in the,
00:22:53.560 those churches,
00:22:54.260 like nothing,
00:22:55.080 you didn't even show below the knee.
00:22:56.940 So like if,
00:22:57.600 if your skirt went started to show some knee, 0.97
00:22:59.860 they better get a cloth over that. 0.93
00:23:01.020 Oh yeah.
00:23:01.340 Can't be seeing that kneecap.
00:23:02.600 Oh yeah,
00:23:03.200 boy.
00:23:04.400 Those.
00:23:04.800 Oh,
00:23:05.620 Oh,
00:23:06.020 I remember being young and just God,
00:23:08.680 I was kind of like a,
00:23:10.380 I guess like a little bit of a peep in time or whatever.
00:23:13.460 I was like visually stimulated.
00:23:15.560 I called it and had a step stool,
00:23:17.080 but,
00:23:18.060 um,
00:23:19.540 I remember for Christmas when you're,
00:23:21.020 I wanted a ladder.
00:23:21.940 My mom's like,
00:23:22.320 what do you want a ladder for?
00:23:23.440 Like,
00:23:23.540 why do you want this little ladder?
00:23:25.260 And I wanted to go,
00:23:26.380 I'd go watch people and just watch in their houses.
00:23:28.320 And I wasn't always looking for perverse stuff.
00:23:29.980 I was just looking,
00:23:31.160 I liked watching people live.
00:23:32.760 Right.
00:23:33.020 Like,
00:23:33.440 I think I hated being at our house.
00:23:35.140 It was like,
00:23:35.700 it was like,
00:23:37.440 uh,
00:23:38.300 it wasn't fun.
00:23:40.540 It was just painful kind of a lot.
00:23:42.400 And it was like,
00:23:43.040 always like aggressive and,
00:23:45.920 um,
00:23:47.400 defensive.
00:23:48.900 Like the second you were around,
00:23:50.220 you had to be defensive.
00:23:51.420 Uh,
00:23:51.820 and so I would go watch as other people live,
00:23:54.440 like watch somebody just be,
00:23:55.980 you know,
00:23:56.180 or just watch some dad sit there in a chair.
00:23:58.980 Some mom make something or some kid just, 0.71
00:24:01.520 you know,
00:24:02.000 like users like the living room or something.
00:24:04.160 I wasn't getting real weird,
00:24:05.120 but,
00:24:05.480 but I love that kind of stuff,
00:24:07.060 man.
00:24:07.300 I love just kind of absorbing how other people operated.
00:24:10.500 Yeah.
00:24:10.820 Uh,
00:24:11.300 that kind of stuff was interesting.
00:24:12.640 You're a OG people watcher.
00:24:14.460 Yeah.
00:24:14.620 I was a bit of a,
00:24:15.400 yeah.
00:24:16.000 I mean,
00:24:16.660 that's,
00:24:17.240 I mean,
00:24:17.580 if get your ladder together,
00:24:19.000 you know,
00:24:19.660 yeah,
00:24:19.840 but get half a pop tart in you and get over there and just see what the,
00:24:22.940 I find comedians are,
00:24:24.380 and songwriters in general are just like,
00:24:26.760 they're people watchers.
00:24:27.720 And then they watch so much people that they end up,
00:24:31.400 these narratives start to show up.
00:24:33.880 And,
00:24:34.400 uh,
00:24:35.020 so you were probably just harnessing,
00:24:37.560 your skills for what was to come.
00:24:41.280 Yeah.
00:24:41.700 I think sometimes,
00:24:42.500 yeah,
00:24:42.640 you look back on your life and you're like,
00:24:43.840 Oh,
00:24:44.040 so much of that was to,
00:24:45.200 uh,
00:24:46.660 was ammo to provide something.
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00:27:03.320 One thing you said that was interesting a little bit ago was you said,
00:27:06.140 that your dad was a boxer and he did these things.
00:27:12.720 And then sometimes you're living out some of your dad's dreams.
00:27:17.600 And I find that to be interesting that we feel like that as sons or that some sons feel that way.
00:27:27.140 And then also that some dads will make sacrifices like you're saying.
00:27:31.660 And it wasn't like it was his choice that he made.
00:27:34.260 It wasn't like a sacrifice.
00:27:35.660 But sometimes even with choices then come sacrifices that you don't see.
00:27:39.580 And then you have to make another choice then as to what do I do here.
00:27:43.480 But that like even by giving birth to a son, by having an offspring,
00:27:47.000 you are creating something that can go the next leg,
00:27:49.600 almost like it's one of those races where they pass the baton.
00:27:53.340 What is that called?
00:27:54.060 I think a baton race. 1.00
00:27:55.340 Yeah, a baton race. 0.99
00:27:56.820 And yeah, so yeah.
00:27:58.560 It's not as hard as it seems.
00:28:00.760 I'm not sure.
00:28:01.540 It may not be called that.
00:28:02.660 It may be something way more complex.
00:28:06.280 It is a baton, a relay race.
00:28:08.100 Baton race, a relay race.
00:28:10.720 But it's like, this is as far as I can get.
00:28:14.680 And let me put this into you.
00:28:16.380 But then it's interesting as the next runner, as the next generation is, 0.52
00:28:19.860 what do I, like how much do I owe to this previous generation to carry on their dream?
00:28:24.400 Do I owe anything?
00:28:25.800 You know, what does it mean to be a son?
00:28:27.300 Like all those things kind of were popping into my head as you were saying that.
00:28:31.000 A generational relay race is not something I've put, you know,
00:28:35.920 to thought regarding all that.
00:28:37.860 But that is a very accurate observation there.
00:28:42.500 Because when you see a relay race, like the first runner or whatever,
00:28:47.200 the runner before you, the runners before you, like dictate how fast you're going to run
00:28:52.820 and they dictate your position in the race.
00:28:56.040 So like if they're running with everything they got,
00:28:59.060 well then you're only like doing a disservice to their effort
00:29:03.120 by not running with everything you got.
00:29:05.480 Right.
00:29:05.680 And so, yeah, that baton becomes something bigger than just this thing you're holding in your hand.
00:29:10.720 It's like the sum of all their efforts.
00:29:13.320 Yeah.
00:29:13.600 And, you know.
00:29:15.320 Yeah, and I think we used to hear a lot more.
00:29:17.340 I think when families, and this is a hypothetical,
00:29:21.100 but when families seemed closer and we needed more entertainment from our fathers and forefathers
00:29:27.840 and we got lore passed down and family history, when there was more storytelling,
00:29:32.300 when you couldn't get as much storytelling from like phones and television and stuff
00:29:35.620 as we can in the past few generations,
00:29:37.160 but when it came from like those, the predecessors of ours and our forefathers and mothers,
00:29:43.420 that that kind of stuff, it like beat inside of us like a drum, you know.
00:29:47.700 So, yeah, what kind of, did you feel a pressure like, and did something happen, your father passed away?
00:29:54.900 Yeah, he passed away seven years ago at the age of 59 and it happened, yeah, he was very young
00:30:02.540 and it was a sudden thing and it was very...
00:30:06.160 Was he sick?
00:30:07.140 Yeah, well, he had like this pulmonary fibrosis thing that was starting,
00:30:11.360 but he ended up dying of a pulmonary embolism, like a blood clot in his lungs.
00:30:16.560 And so, yeah, it was a very sudden thing that I don't think anybody really expected.
00:30:24.320 He was living in Indiana?
00:30:25.660 He was living in southern Indiana and he was, you know, he was, you know, doing quite well
00:30:31.880 and like, you know, everything kind of changed in about six months and then he, you know,
00:30:38.760 suddenly this embolism showed up and I tried to get there because he, it was, his body was like shutting down.
00:30:47.060 What do you mean?
00:30:47.560 So an embolism, can you bring it up just so I know, Trevin, sorry to interrupt you, Stephen.
00:30:51.100 No, don't.
00:30:51.980 I'm just like, sometimes I've let information fly and I don't know what it is.
00:30:56.660 An embolism, a pulmonary embolism is a blood clot that travels to and blocks
00:31:01.600 an artery in the lungs, cutting off normal blood flow and oxygen exchange
00:31:05.620 and creating a potentially life-threatening emergency.
00:31:07.760 So had this been happening for a while and then it got bad?
00:31:10.840 Yeah.
00:31:11.440 And so he'd had some, obviously some things going on that he never knew was happening.
00:31:17.720 And, and then, yeah, it got to that life-threatening emergency point.
00:31:22.740 And then there is a point where they can only do so much.
00:31:25.720 And, you know, he was a bit of a cowboy and, you know, those kind of classic dudes
00:31:31.480 that don't want to go to the doctor and I'll tough it out kind of thing.
00:31:34.900 I'm sure there was a lot of that mentality going into it.
00:31:38.140 Also, there was poor health care, you know, that's, he was a victim of the American health care system too
00:31:44.620 in that regard.
00:31:45.840 I won't get into all that.
00:31:47.660 But, but yeah, like that was, that was a big part of it.
00:31:51.280 Um, we've talked, we've talked about that a lot over the years, it's a nightmare and
00:31:54.440 the stress they put people through trying to deal with their own taking care of themselves.
00:31:57.760 It's like, yeah, it's a nightmare, especially at his age at 59, he was starting to feel
00:32:03.160 like, uh, you're just like a forgotten human.
00:32:06.120 They don't, you know, like, you know, they don't really want to take care of you.
00:32:10.500 They want to do everything but that, like you got to fight tooth and nail to take care
00:32:15.380 of yourself in that, at least where he was at that time.
00:32:19.180 And, uh, yeah, I, I got a, a really, um, panicked call from my sister that morning and said,
00:32:26.580 you need to get here like now, like dad is very sick and we don't know what's happening.
00:32:31.020 And they rushed him to the emergency room and, um, I jumped in my car and sped up there and
00:32:37.260 I said goodbye to him in the middle of Kentucky on the side of I-65 on an iPhone 8 on the side
00:32:45.100 of a highway.
00:32:45.660 And, um, that was the- Pulled over to make it quieter?
00:32:49.020 Yeah.
00:32:49.580 And just so I didn't lose signal, I was so worried that, cause you know, the middle of
00:32:52.820 Kentucky is the middle of nowhere and like, what if I dropped the call?
00:32:56.520 Like, yeah.
00:32:57.480 And, um, you know, there was, so I just pulled over just, I mean, it was insane.
00:33:02.800 I just, the, the, the sound of like semis flying by me at like 90 miles an hour, but literally
00:33:09.600 being in a, I felt like I was in a bubble, like not like the world was like the world
00:33:15.380 stopped around me in that little car.
00:33:17.720 Like a semi could have taken the side of that car off.
00:33:21.760 I wouldn't even had known it or, you know, I would have just, I was in a state of absolute
00:33:26.820 shock and, and horror is a very traumatizing experience.
00:33:30.580 But, and you were on a FaceTime call?
00:33:32.800 No, I was just on a video or a normal phone call.
00:33:36.080 Um, was he able to speak to you?
00:33:37.260 He was.
00:33:37.980 And he, uh, did he know that it could be like his last moment?
00:33:41.760 He knew, he knew he was done.
00:33:42.980 Is this bothering you by asking you this?
00:33:44.040 No, I, I talk about it a lot on stage.
00:33:46.560 I kind of relive it every night.
00:33:48.080 And, um, that's been a challenge for me, like mentally kind of, but it's been, but it's
00:33:55.700 also been like the beautiful part of unpacking trauma and grief.
00:34:00.100 Cause you know, I'm not like our, our music like really, um, it finds the grieving and
00:34:07.480 I think it's, it's important for me to grieve as well.
00:34:10.580 Um, like I, I, I, I go through grief every night and, uh, but you know, um, he was such
00:34:17.680 a gangster in that moment.
00:34:19.460 He knew he had maybe 90 seconds left on this earth.
00:34:22.940 He knew he was going, not just going, but going fast.
00:34:26.780 He even told me, he's like, I'm, I'm going Steven.
00:34:30.060 And, um, um, sorry, um, but yeah, he was, uh, he was so calm about it.
00:34:39.500 Um, he said, everything's going to be okay.
00:34:42.580 Oh, that was his first thing he said, like such a dad thing to say.
00:34:47.360 And, um, and he said, write a good song for me, Steven.
00:34:51.980 And he said, I love you.
00:34:53.960 I love you.
00:34:54.580 I love you.
00:34:55.300 I love you four times.
00:34:57.360 And he wanted you to know for sure.
00:34:59.140 Yeah, like he wanted there to be no doubt.
00:35:02.160 And, uh, so I say it more than once all the time now, because I, I, from that experience,
00:35:08.020 I kind of realized that people are counting and, uh, I, I was counting and, and, um, and
00:35:14.740 it was weird.
00:35:15.660 Like on that last, I love you.
00:35:17.260 It's almost like his voice got quieter.
00:35:19.560 Like he was literally being pulled, like God was snatching him from the universe in that
00:35:24.900 last, I love you.
00:35:26.080 Wow.
00:35:26.600 And he was gone 30 seconds later.
00:35:29.140 And, uh, and that was it.
00:35:31.420 I was the last person he spoke to.
00:35:33.300 And, um, I'm really grateful that I got to speak to him.
00:35:36.980 And in that moment, in that car, uh, I, I, I was so angry at God.
00:35:46.420 I was so angry at him.
00:35:47.980 Even my dad, I was like, how dare you die on me like this?
00:35:52.560 Like, like, like that's, we wasn't supposed to happen.
00:35:56.100 Like none of it was supposed to happen like that.
00:35:58.500 Like I was under the impression he was invincible, first of all, and he was just so young and
00:36:03.260 he was just such a, you know, just such a lively, such a bright light.
00:36:08.740 So it just, it didn't seem possible.
00:36:11.020 And then even to people in my hometown, they were in disbelief when he died.
00:36:15.600 Like it was like, cause his, his life force was so big that like people were in denial.
00:36:22.120 It's like, that's impossible.
00:36:23.160 There's no way he could be dead.
00:36:24.320 Like, and I was like, no, he, he, he really is.
00:36:27.780 And it was a, a tough thing to really come to terms with.
00:36:31.620 But, um, with any great reaction or any like chemical reaction, there is a catalyst.
00:36:38.540 Um, and I have to say everything, the reason I'm here and the reason I'm anywhere right now
00:36:44.620 is because of that conversation.
00:36:46.440 It was, uh, you know, you have a product and a reactant and then there's a catalyst.
00:36:52.260 And, um, and that, that conversation is what catalyzed my whole career.
00:36:58.460 Really?
00:36:58.840 And, uh, yeah.
00:37:00.240 Um, that write, write a good song for me, Stephen.
00:37:03.380 Oh.
00:37:03.860 It was, um, it was like a lifetime's worth of jet fuel for me to charge across the galaxy
00:37:13.060 and, and do everything I could to try and keep him alive.
00:37:17.680 Oh.
00:37:18.080 To try and, um, just tell the world about him that, you know, carry out his wish.
00:37:24.940 Yeah.
00:37:25.220 I mean, what, and what I found out is like, like carrying out his wish and, um, and keeping
00:37:33.140 him alive was keeping so many other people that, that other folks have lost, other humans
00:37:39.920 have lost alive.
00:37:40.960 He was resurrecting other people at the same time.
00:37:44.860 And these people were coming to shows with this, um, with his bounty of love that had
00:37:52.220 no place to go.
00:37:53.300 And that's what grief is essentially.
00:37:54.740 And, uh, and I gave them, you know, you know, these songs have given them a home for at least
00:38:02.800 maybe three and a half or four minutes.
00:38:04.520 And, uh, and, uh, and that's been, um, that's really been the charge of all of this.
00:38:10.760 That's been, um, the mission statement is, um, you know, at the very beginning was just
00:38:17.840 keep dad alive, keep him alive at all costs.
00:38:21.080 And, you know, like kind of a psychotic denial for the first couple of years that he was even
00:38:29.000 gone.
00:38:29.340 And I was like, no, he's, he's still around.
00:38:31.740 And I, and a lot of times I felt them on my shoulders, like a little kid.
00:38:35.160 It was really weird.
00:38:36.140 It was like this weird reversal of roles.
00:38:39.300 And, uh, well, now that he's free, he kind of could do as he wants, you know, he can be
00:38:42.520 on your shoulders.
00:38:43.300 Yeah.
00:38:43.480 He would show up like that.
00:38:44.820 And the reason why I play this song, Stand By Me, it's just literally, I, two weeks after
00:38:50.320 he died, uh, I was scheduled to play this songwriter festival in Deadwood, South Dakota.
00:38:55.840 And it's a, you know, it's in the Black Hills and it's a very spiritually charged area just
00:39:01.520 in general.
00:39:02.620 Yeah, for sure it is.
00:39:03.560 And the guy that runs it says, you don't have to play any music.
00:39:06.220 I know you're in a bad, bad spot.
00:39:08.380 I hadn't slept in a week.
00:39:09.520 And, and, uh, he's like, just come here and, you know, see what happens, you know, just
00:39:17.060 be around people.
00:39:17.860 Like, there's nothing but love for you here.
00:39:19.780 And, um, we, we know you've gone through it.
00:39:22.080 And, and at the end of the festival, they asked, you know, all the writers and stuff
00:39:27.280 there, um, if you wanted to play a cover, what's your favorite cover that you love?
00:39:32.160 And, and they did this big finale.
00:39:34.860 Um, I had been, for some reason, for about a year prior to my dad's death, I'd been singing
00:39:40.140 this song, Stand By Me in my living room, the exact way I play it now.
00:39:44.320 It just popped in your head to come, it just kind of came into you?
00:39:46.720 Yeah.
00:39:47.120 And like, for some reason I was, like, that song has haunted me my whole life because
00:39:50.900 of the movie Stand By Me.
00:39:52.120 Oh, for sure.
00:39:52.720 Yeah, that's a big part of a lot of people's, that movie was huge in people's lives for
00:39:57.240 so many little moments.
00:39:58.500 Yeah, like, I very much saw myself in the, the kid on the left, the Gordie, the Gordie
00:40:03.040 Lachance, no, um, was his name, Will Wheaton, like, the writer, the writer that was trying
00:40:08.820 to find a voice, the nerdy little writer kid on the left.
00:40:12.160 Yeah.
00:40:12.520 And, um, that song, like, was threaded so brilliantly throughout that film, and it's obviously
00:40:18.700 the title, but, um, because of that movie, which is also a Stephen King,
00:40:22.720 the story, that movie is based off a Stephen King novella called The Body.
00:40:27.440 So, you know, it was obviously a very haunting and dark theme, but, you know, that song really
00:40:32.680 haunted me because of that movie, and, um, I just started playing it.
00:40:36.420 I was, like, trying to, I don't know, kind of deconstruct it, try to process it in a
00:40:41.240 different way, and, um, when my dad died, fast forward to Deadwood, all I could play
00:40:47.900 was Stand By Me.
00:40:49.040 Wow.
00:40:49.240 And, um, I started playing it, and I'd really never played it for anybody like that, and
00:40:55.240 the whole place, like, just went crazy.
00:40:58.880 Like, and at that point, I was not an artist.
00:41:00.780 I, I'd just quit my job as a scientist.
00:41:03.500 I'd just, I'd been a published writer for maybe two years at that point, just trying to
00:41:09.040 get other artists to sing my songs.
00:41:11.060 And I never really saw myself as an artist, even though my dad did, like, he would always
00:41:16.960 be like, why don't you just sing these songs?
00:41:18.780 You sound great singing them.
00:41:20.020 But I would always argue with him, like, no, I don't do that.
00:41:22.340 I write them.
00:41:22.860 Someone else sings them.
00:41:24.520 But when I went up there to sing Stand By Me, um, I swear to God, he was, like, on my
00:41:29.140 shoulders like a little kid.
00:41:30.500 And I got so addicted to that feeling again.
00:41:35.420 Yeah.
00:41:35.780 Like, cause he, he, I mean, he was there.
00:41:38.600 He showed up.
00:41:39.460 And I, I truly believe he showed up at Bridgestone at the CMAs.
00:41:43.160 Like, he, he did.
00:41:44.100 He showed up that night.
00:41:45.820 And, uh.
00:41:46.280 Oh, I bet he was so proud of you.
00:41:47.320 Do you feel like he's proud of you?
00:41:49.560 Uh, yeah, I think so.
00:41:50.780 Yeah.
00:41:51.280 He, he was so proud of me before he died, before any of this happened.
00:41:55.180 And, um, I think, yeah, he, yeah, he would be very proud.
00:42:00.280 Um, I've been trying to make him proud my whole life, but.
00:42:05.440 What did he say?
00:42:06.220 Write a song for me or make us, what did he say? 0.91
00:42:08.140 Sorry, I'm fucking leaking over here. 0.95
00:42:09.820 No, man, I leak all the time. 0.91
00:42:11.820 I, I, yeah, dude, I listen to stuff that makes me cry all the time because I think I'm just 0.98
00:42:14.860 full of tears and I got to get these bitches out, even though I'm dehydrated half the time. 1.00
00:42:19.520 So I'm like, I don't even know what's going on here, dude. 0.98
00:42:21.860 No, I, it's good for you.
00:42:23.380 Like I'll, when my dad died, I swear all I did was cry for two years.
00:42:27.360 Uh, I, like, it's all I did.
00:42:29.480 Um, and lately, if you have, if you can find the tears, find them like right now.
00:42:34.800 I, I can't find them.
00:42:36.400 Yeah.
00:42:36.620 I mean, even though I, I, I get emotional, don't get me wrong, but.
00:42:40.480 Yeah.
00:42:40.620 Sometimes you have tears and sometimes you don't, it's like almost like seasons, you know,
00:42:43.660 it's almost like an ocean.
00:42:44.560 Sometimes it comes up on the shore and sometimes it's out to sea, you know, even though it's,
00:42:48.300 you know, it lives right.
00:42:49.900 Yeah.
00:42:50.180 So it's like, um, and especially, I think people that have had like a lot of things in
00:42:55.300 their life that have happened that haven't been processed.
00:42:58.740 Um, you know, it takes a long time.
00:43:01.860 And I think I've gotten grateful in my life over, over, over time where there, if I find
00:43:07.440 something that helps me process, I'll sit there and process it.
00:43:10.400 Like my brother says a lot of times he's like, yeah, getting rid of grief and like, like
00:43:15.000 trauma, like that old stuff.
00:43:16.360 And people use trauma as a buzzword, but getting rid of grief and stuff from the past, he's
00:43:20.200 like, it's like taking panties out of a bathtub one at a time.
00:43:22.700 He's like, you know, it just, it takes a long time and it's slow and it's just kind of arduous
00:43:27.880 work.
00:43:28.740 But, uh, but you just be grateful that, that it can kind of happen over time.
00:43:32.500 Um, what he said, make a good song for me, write a good song, write a good song.
00:43:37.980 Yeah.
00:43:38.120 Cause he knew that's what I was, that's all I could think about.
00:43:41.160 And that's the baton, man.
00:43:42.300 That's the baton.
00:43:43.260 Yeah.
00:43:43.500 He used to come to my, like all my shows and when I say shows, like playing for seven people
00:43:49.540 at writer's round or like, and he came to the Bluebird cafe.
00:43:54.240 I remember like how to, you remember when they had those giant phones that were like the size
00:43:58.740 of laptops, you know?
00:44:00.360 Oh, those T-Mobile sidekicks. 0.99
00:44:01.520 Yeah, baby, them bitches was beautiful. 1.00
00:44:03.280 Yeah. 0.99
00:44:03.420 He had one of those bad boys and he would just hold it up and record the whole show.
00:44:07.680 But he used to drive me crazy.
00:44:09.020 Oh dude, there's nothing crazier than watching like a boomer kind of like record something
00:44:13.680 or even just somebody from a generation above.
00:44:15.920 They're just, we went to the UFC fights the other day and some guy was recorded every single
00:44:20.520 fight.
00:44:20.820 I'm like, he had a front row seat and he was recording and there was a TV right next to him
00:44:25.760 playing the fights.
00:44:26.440 I'm like, you can just go home and watch.
00:44:28.280 Like, I just didn't understand what was going on.
00:44:30.420 Yeah.
00:44:30.820 But the fact that he was there and that he cared so much about it and that he loved watching
00:44:34.440 you do it.
00:44:35.200 Yeah.
00:44:36.380 There was this one song that's on the record called I'm a Song.
00:44:40.240 Oh yeah.
00:44:41.260 And he watched me play that for the first time at Bluebird Cafe.
00:44:44.980 I had just written it like that week.
00:44:46.620 Right over here?
00:44:47.460 Yeah.
00:44:47.760 Oh, cool.
00:44:48.200 Bluebird Cafe and he had his gigantic phone.
00:44:51.520 I'll never forget.
00:44:52.440 And I was like, dad, please put your phone down.
00:44:54.800 But he recorded that whole song and then he called me like a week later, kept talking
00:45:02.620 about that song.
00:45:03.440 And about a month before he died, his Father's Day weekend, I came up to see him and we went
00:45:10.720 to a tractor pool and then we went home and watched some fights.
00:45:13.520 And he goes, hey, Steven, you know that song you played at the Bluebird like a month ago?
00:45:21.060 It's called I'm a Song.
00:45:22.800 And I was like, well, how do you even know that?
00:45:24.680 Like I, you know, because I was in that point of like writing, you know, 200 songs a year.
00:45:30.300 I was writing, you know, 10 songs a week.
00:45:32.920 So like a month ago, like that I'm a Song was like 50 songs ago.
00:45:37.220 So I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I know that.
00:45:40.180 And he's like, yeah, you played at the Bluebird Cafe.
00:45:43.100 And he's like, that's, that's my favorite song.
00:45:46.400 And I was like, oh, thank you, dad.
00:45:48.460 And you're like, I thought he meant like it's my favorite song, his favorite song of mine.
00:45:53.340 And he was like, no, you listen to me.
00:45:56.460 That's my favorite song.
00:45:58.800 Wow.
00:45:59.440 And I was like, how are you even listening to it?
00:46:02.020 He'd been listening to me play it on the Bluebird, at the Bluebird on his gigantic T-Mobile, whatever that thing is.
00:46:09.720 And that's how he was.
00:46:11.940 He was actually my first fan.
00:46:14.920 And he was the, you know, he would breathe so much life into me.
00:46:22.720 He believed in me so much more than I ever believed in myself.
00:46:26.060 And I remember him saying, you should sing that song.
00:46:29.480 And when he died, I sang it at his funeral.
00:46:34.260 Oh.
00:46:34.760 And it was one of the hardest songs I've ever sang.
00:46:37.680 But in that moment, like that was, that was when, you know, I knew things were about to change.
00:46:44.700 And, but yeah, and that song has helped so many people.
00:46:48.840 And it's, I don't know, it's been a bit of a thesis statement for me.
00:46:54.180 And so when he said write a good song for me, he knew, he knew I had already written one, at least in his eyes, because it was his favorite song ever.
00:47:02.740 So, he knew, at least he had proof on his phone that I was capable of writing something great.
00:47:10.600 And he, I guess his last charge was to please keep going and don't stop.
00:47:16.560 And as a, you know.
00:47:18.200 It's got to feel good for him to be, like even in a moment, like, I mean, that's crazy to say this.
00:47:22.920 What am I talking about?
00:47:24.320 But in a moment of leaving the earth to know that you have a son or someone who can, who, you know, you've created that's capable.
00:47:35.660 You know, you have a child that you believe is capable.
00:47:37.900 I wonder what, you know what I'm saying?
00:47:38.860 Or something like that.
00:47:39.760 No, I, yeah.
00:47:40.720 And my other siblings are also very capable.
00:47:43.600 He's very proud of all of us equally.
00:47:45.580 But I think he, he knew something about me.
00:47:49.200 He was different, very young.
00:47:50.920 I was a very quiet kid, a very nerdy kid.
00:47:54.180 I was, I had his name and his eyes.
00:47:56.440 But, you know, outside of that, we were so different.
00:47:59.500 So, he, he, I think he just knew I was going to do something different.
00:48:04.280 He just, he's probably intrigued, I bet.
00:48:06.000 Yeah.
00:48:06.380 And I, like, picked up guitar and taught myself.
00:48:08.820 And he was, like, just always mesmerized by, like, my musical ability because it seemed like magic to him.
00:48:14.820 Because it was, it was God given.
00:48:17.900 Like, I, nobody taught me how to do this.
00:48:20.540 Really?
00:48:21.560 Yeah, I know.
00:48:21.960 Oh, you just picked it up and started playing?
00:48:23.660 Yeah, for the most part. 0.96
00:48:24.680 Yeah, I learned some tablature and, and, but, you know, I sucked real bad then. 0.64
00:48:29.460 But that was probably.
00:48:29.820 This is you right here?
00:48:30.620 Yeah, that was probably, like, a week after I got my first guitar.
00:48:34.240 If that even.
00:48:35.120 Let me see some of this.
00:48:36.080 That economics.
00:48:44.600 I think we're watching Mama's Family.
00:48:46.060 Yep.
00:48:47.060 Yeah.
00:48:47.700 That's a lithium.
00:48:49.520 Yeah.
00:48:51.100 Yeah.
00:48:52.140 Who is that?
00:48:53.400 Is that your dad now?
00:48:54.420 No, that's just some random old dude.
00:48:57.180 And this is after my dad had passed away.
00:48:59.340 None of this stuff.
00:49:00.440 All my whole music, I didn't have any music out when he was alive.
00:49:05.040 Oh, okay.
00:49:05.520 So they're just packaging this all up.
00:49:07.180 Yeah, this is all old VHS footage from when I was a kid.
00:49:10.580 That's me getting my first guitar for my 16th birthday,
00:49:13.620 even though I look like I'm 12.
00:49:14.980 Look how hot.
00:49:15.680 Go back.
00:49:18.080 Hold on.
00:49:18.520 Yeah, hold on.
00:49:19.020 Right, a little more.
00:49:20.380 Right there.
00:49:21.580 Look how happy.
00:49:22.260 You can see, though, how happy and cool.
00:49:24.140 Hands through the hair.
00:49:24.520 Yeah, you can see for a second.
00:49:26.080 See if you can catch his face a second earlier, maybe a second later.
00:49:28.720 It was pure joy.
00:49:29.520 You can see how bright there.
00:49:30.720 You can just see how happy he is, you know?
00:49:32.440 That's cool, dude.
00:49:33.880 Thank you.
00:49:34.280 I'm going to be cool now.
00:49:35.560 Oh, it's so fun, dude.
00:49:37.380 Yeah, I might actually have, you know,
00:49:39.620 I might actually be able to talk to a girl now.
00:49:41.760 Oh, dude.
00:49:42.540 Yeah, at least if you walk up with a guitar,
00:49:44.580 at least you're rocking his life.
00:49:45.900 At least they'll be like, hey, what do you do?
00:49:48.520 You know what I'm saying?
00:49:48.940 At least you have some sort of semblance
00:49:50.220 instead of hiding, putting hair in your eyes and hiding behind it.
00:49:53.120 That's what I did.
00:49:53.660 I said nothing to nobody.
00:49:55.220 Oh, dude.
00:49:55.720 That was most of my childhood when I was growing up.
00:49:58.580 I was thinking about what are the responsibilities of a son?
00:50:03.220 You know, people don't think about that a lot.
00:50:05.120 I think about what do my parents owe me a lot as a kid,
00:50:08.160 or I have probably.
00:50:09.260 You know, like, my parents didn't do this,
00:50:12.160 or my parents didn't do that.
00:50:13.700 You know, that's been, you know,
00:50:16.040 or some things didn't happen and should have happened.
00:50:18.280 That's fair.
00:50:19.000 But when I start to harp on the other stuff
00:50:21.060 and it gets into this, like, oh, woe is me,
00:50:23.640 or pity me type of thing, you know,
00:50:25.320 that can be kind of an unsafe area to go into.
00:50:29.500 But the two can be easily connected,
00:50:31.220 like things that, yes, a parent should do these things
00:50:33.320 or those things should be.
00:50:35.360 A child's life should include these things,
00:50:37.240 and they don't happen.
00:50:38.480 And then, well, a parent, they don't owe you these things,
00:50:40.860 but attaching those together.
00:50:43.160 But I never think about, like, what is it,
00:50:45.060 what are my responsibilities as a son, you know,
00:50:47.340 or as a child?
00:50:48.060 You know what I'm saying?
00:50:48.400 You don't think that.
00:50:49.560 Because at a certain point,
00:50:50.340 you do have some responsibility in it yourself, you know.
00:50:54.260 Yeah.
00:50:54.620 I mean, I've had a lot of thought about that,
00:51:00.020 and, you know, I grew up thinking the same thing as you,
00:51:04.760 like maybe, you know, things should have been different.
00:51:08.640 But at the same time,
00:51:09.780 I tend to think about my parents as children
00:51:12.300 because they had me as children.
00:51:14.840 They were like, it was a shotgun wedding.
00:51:16.420 My mama was six months pregnant. 1.00
00:51:18.500 They were teenagers having babies.
00:51:21.140 And so I also think about them like, oh, my gosh,
00:51:24.460 like I have a lot of sympathy for them as I was older.
00:51:27.900 But, you know, growing up, I had, you know,
00:51:29.640 anger and resentment towards certain things
00:51:32.000 that I did not understand.
00:51:34.420 But I've kind of tried to, you know,
00:51:39.760 understand that, you know,
00:51:42.680 it's very, like, biological
00:51:45.200 about, like, kind of how fathers and sons
00:51:49.720 or just children and their parents.
00:51:51.800 In the beginning of your father is, like, superhuman
00:51:58.680 or he's a superhero.
00:52:01.880 Like, humanize, demonize, and idolize
00:52:04.380 is kind of how I put it down.
00:52:06.520 So in the beginning, you idolize your father.
00:52:11.040 And you idolize everything they do.
00:52:13.020 I remember idolizing my father,
00:52:14.920 like, wanting to be a boxer just like him,
00:52:17.640 wanting to do so many things like him.
00:52:19.960 And I would hide in his shadow.
00:52:21.360 And I idolized him my whole childhood.
00:52:23.340 And then once I got into my teen years,
00:52:26.020 that's when that separation starts to begin.
00:52:28.720 And you start to demonize your parents.
00:52:32.020 And you go through this whole demonization
00:52:34.580 of your father or your parents.
00:52:37.780 And it's actually very biological.
00:52:39.740 This is how, like, you know,
00:52:41.260 genetic diversity was spread
00:52:43.720 because we're a tribal species.
00:52:46.240 So, like, the young boy,
00:52:49.020 the young man,
00:52:50.980 in his reproductive years
00:52:53.580 would start to demonize the parents
00:52:55.380 and get away from the tribe
00:52:57.160 and go join another tribe.
00:52:58.720 So he can procreate.
00:53:00.200 So he can procreate
00:53:01.140 and create genetic diversity.
00:53:03.100 Right, because if he procreates
00:53:03.960 too close to his own tribe,
00:53:05.100 he also risks, like, uh...
00:53:06.720 Yeah, inbreeding.
00:53:07.500 Yeah, like the guy
00:53:08.220 that taught me how to drive.
00:53:09.120 Yeah, exactly.
00:53:09.920 And I'm not saying no shade, Brandon.
00:53:11.280 I think he was bred properly.
00:53:12.640 It was just, you know,
00:53:13.680 God put some odd paints
00:53:14.780 in his palate.
00:53:16.860 We love you, Brandon.
00:53:17.720 Yeah, we do love you.
00:53:18.860 And actually, he passed away
00:53:19.640 a few years ago,
00:53:20.080 and we do love you.
00:53:20.760 He's a special guy.
00:53:21.560 Oh, man.
00:53:22.020 I'm so sorry, Brandon.
00:53:23.580 But, yeah, and then, as, you know,
00:53:25.260 I think eventually you come back home.
00:53:27.580 There's always, like,
00:53:28.140 this prodigal son kind of moment.
00:53:29.660 And that's where you humanize
00:53:30.840 your father.
00:53:31.840 Because that's what happened with me.
00:53:33.360 Like, you know,
00:53:33.740 you start off as a kid idolizing it.
00:53:35.740 You get to teenage years,
00:53:37.080 those years that I, you know,
00:53:38.240 he got me that guitar.
00:53:39.140 I was probably going to start
00:53:40.820 demonizing him soon.
00:53:42.840 And...
00:53:43.160 He wanted you to at least
00:53:43.740 have a backbeat for it.
00:53:44.860 Yeah, exactly.
00:53:45.860 Something to put all those
00:53:47.380 angsty lyrics into it.
00:53:48.920 At least put that anger to lyrics.
00:53:51.400 Yeah.
00:53:51.940 At least make it a bop.
00:53:53.540 And then...
00:53:53.900 That's hilarious.
00:53:54.340 And then I remember
00:53:55.100 when I was 25,
00:53:56.520 like, I was sitting on the porch
00:53:57.900 with my dad,
00:53:58.720 and I just remembered,
00:54:00.540 I was like,
00:54:01.220 you're just a dude.
00:54:02.500 Oh, yeah.
00:54:03.260 And that's when I,
00:54:04.040 the humanization hit.
00:54:05.520 And I was like,
00:54:05.980 you're just another dude
00:54:07.280 doing the best you can.
00:54:09.500 And I could see it
00:54:10.340 in his eyes,
00:54:10.860 and we were just kind of like,
00:54:12.360 we were,
00:54:13.500 you know,
00:54:13.760 the father and son dynamic
00:54:14.940 was still there,
00:54:15.700 but he was now a friend
00:54:17.060 and something bigger
00:54:18.640 than a father.
00:54:19.520 Well, he's another human,
00:54:20.300 like you're saying.
00:54:20.820 He's just another human.
00:54:21.720 And that's a tough moment.
00:54:22.680 It's an interesting moment,
00:54:24.060 too,
00:54:24.180 to look at,
00:54:24.640 because it's almost,
00:54:27.600 it almost breaks down
00:54:28.900 the wars you were fighting
00:54:30.080 or the whatever.
00:54:30.860 You know,
00:54:31.080 it breaks down,
00:54:31.900 like,
00:54:32.500 a lot.
00:54:32.940 It breaks down everything.
00:54:33.400 Right.
00:54:33.540 It breaks down the pedestal
00:54:34.580 you held this person on
00:54:35.460 in a way,
00:54:35.960 in a way,
00:54:36.360 some of it,
00:54:37.200 but it also breaks down
00:54:38.180 if you've been demonizing
00:54:39.240 it,
00:54:39.500 like,
00:54:40.040 well,
00:54:40.220 who am I fighting?
00:54:40.920 I'm not fighting against,
00:54:41.860 you know,
00:54:42.400 the 20,
00:54:43.080 the 32-year-old dad,
00:54:44.600 the guy that I knew
00:54:45.520 who,
00:54:45.820 like,
00:54:46.300 walked by me
00:54:46.960 and didn't glance,
00:54:47.660 or whatever your thoughts are,
00:54:48.960 whatever your,
00:54:49.660 whatever,
00:54:51.600 like,
00:54:52.380 you're envisioning,
00:54:53.700 that's not there anymore.
00:54:54.980 Yeah.
00:54:55.240 You know,
00:54:55.540 and it's like,
00:54:55.980 then this whole,
00:54:57.160 like,
00:54:57.420 baton that I'm still carrying
00:54:58.620 of anger,
00:54:59.300 that's not even real.
00:55:00.640 Yeah.
00:55:01.120 So what's really happening
00:55:02.340 here with me?
00:55:03.180 And that's like a moment
00:55:04.020 you kind of have to look
00:55:04.880 at yourself as well,
00:55:06.260 and that's kind of painful.
00:55:07.540 Yeah,
00:55:07.860 it's very much
00:55:08.840 a self-reflective moment,
00:55:10.180 and you kind of start
00:55:11.140 to see kind of,
00:55:13.060 like,
00:55:13.420 man, 1.00
00:55:13.660 I was a selfish little shit, 1.00
00:55:15.780 or I was, 1.00
00:55:16.860 you know,
00:55:17.180 maybe you were justified
00:55:18.260 in certain areas,
00:55:19.240 but,
00:55:19.720 or,
00:55:20.480 yeah,
00:55:20.680 at the end of the day,
00:55:21.420 they're just another human
00:55:22.820 doing the best they can,
00:55:24.160 just like you.
00:55:25.060 And who am I going to be now?
00:55:26.440 That's the thing, too.
00:55:27.480 Yeah.
00:55:27.900 And sometimes I go back
00:55:28.840 and I put on my old,
00:55:29.800 my,
00:55:29.960 sometimes I go back
00:55:32.200 and I'm the same person,
00:55:33.100 but more often than not
00:55:34.640 these days,
00:55:35.040 I do a decent job
00:55:36.500 of like,
00:55:38.380 well,
00:55:38.620 let me be the leader
00:55:39.360 instead of saying,
00:55:40.340 you should have led me
00:55:41.240 or you should,
00:55:42.140 let me,
00:55:43.620 let me grow up.
00:55:44.480 It's like,
00:55:44.940 how many times do, 0.99
00:55:46.220 am I going to fucking miss 0.99
00:55:47.460 the grow up bus, 0.98
00:55:48.480 you know?
00:55:48.980 Like,
00:55:49.320 I'm on it,
00:55:50.300 but still,
00:55:51.180 sometimes I'll be there
00:55:52.200 at the stop in the morning
00:55:53.120 and I'll be like,
00:55:53.620 nah, 1.00
00:55:53.760 I'm going to let that bitch 1.00
00:55:54.400 go today. 1.00
00:55:55.300 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:55:55.980 I ain't getting on that bitch today. 1.00
00:55:58.000 So some of that's interesting 0.99
00:55:59.540 and it's interesting
00:56:00.120 to look at
00:56:00.740 and you're still just a human
00:56:02.520 looking at it
00:56:03.200 and trying to figure it out.
00:56:04.540 Yeah.
00:56:05.180 Yeah,
00:56:05.480 well,
00:56:05.780 it's,
00:56:06.000 I think all part of the journey
00:56:07.520 and like,
00:56:08.080 it all,
00:56:08.880 it's rooted in something
00:56:10.300 very old.
00:56:11.280 like,
00:56:11.700 I always thought
00:56:12.240 like that teen angst thing
00:56:13.760 was like something created
00:56:15.620 in the 90s or something.
00:56:17.080 It's like,
00:56:17.500 no,
00:56:17.740 this is pre-biblical.
00:56:19.300 This is,
00:56:20.000 this is something
00:56:21.040 that's been going on
00:56:22.080 for a long time.
00:56:23.040 Yeah.
00:56:23.340 If you study primates enough
00:56:24.840 and you,
00:56:25.960 you,
00:56:26.340 you can really kind of see
00:56:28.340 a lot of,
00:56:29.140 you can learn a lot
00:56:29.980 about humans
00:56:30.700 by studying primates
00:56:31.920 because they're also,
00:56:32.820 you know,
00:56:33.500 we're technically primates too.
00:56:35.660 Yeah,
00:56:36.080 there's rumors.
00:56:37.000 There's rumors.
00:56:37.740 Yeah,
00:56:37.900 I mean,
00:56:38.140 we're all part of the animal kingdom,
00:56:39.940 kingdom,
00:56:40.440 animaliae
00:56:41.120 and we are,
00:56:41.960 of the,
00:56:44.540 we're technically
00:56:45.340 of the greater apes.
00:56:46.640 That's what they call us.
00:56:47.100 What do you think happened?
00:56:48.040 Do you think,
00:56:49.300 do you think we,
00:56:51.820 what do you think there
00:56:52.660 about evolution?
00:56:53.260 Because it's so tricky,
00:56:54.380 you know,
00:56:54.620 it's so like,
00:56:55.980 because we're the only people
00:56:57.220 that are out here,
00:56:57.960 it feels like suffering
00:56:59.020 like this sometimes.
00:57:00.240 Can I take a piss
00:57:01.060 and get back to this question?
00:57:02.260 Because this is going to,
00:57:03.100 this has got an answer.
00:57:04.320 Yeah,
00:57:04.500 let's take a break
00:57:05.080 and piss, 0.99
00:57:05.600 man.
00:57:05.760 Boarding for flight 246
00:57:07.960 to Toronto
00:57:08.440 is delayed 50 minutes.
00:57:09.900 Ugh,
00:57:10.380 what?
00:57:11.280 Sounds like Ojo time.
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00:57:20.780 Hey,
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00:57:23.400 Feel the fun.
00:57:24.600 Play Ojo.
00:57:25.960 Boarding will begin
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00:57:31.880 or that of someone close to you?
00:57:32.920 Call 1-866-531-2600
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00:57:36.480 With the new year upon us,
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00:58:48.880 Is pornography
00:58:49.480 causing a problem
00:58:50.540 in your life?
00:58:52.080 Do you find yourself 0.78
00:58:53.160 watching porno
00:58:54.160 for longer periods
00:58:55.540 of time
00:58:56.080 and having trouble
00:58:57.200 stopping?
00:58:57.640 Is porn
00:58:59.740 affecting your
00:59:00.560 relationship
00:59:01.240 or dating life?
00:59:03.320 Well,
00:59:03.680 you're certainly
00:59:04.200 not alone.
00:59:05.760 Watching pornography
00:59:06.840 has become so
00:59:08.120 commonplace today
00:59:09.020 and oftentimes 0.93
00:59:09.960 men use porn 0.88
00:59:11.280 to numb the pain 0.99
00:59:12.500 of loneliness,
00:59:13.680 boredom,
00:59:14.280 anxiety,
00:59:15.160 and depression.
00:59:17.000 Shame and stigma
00:59:17.840 prevent men
00:59:18.540 from talking
00:59:19.120 about these issues
00:59:20.020 and getting help
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00:59:23.940 Steve.
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00:59:25.740 of Valor Recovery,
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00:59:28.280 men overcome
00:59:29.000 porn abuse
00:59:29.840 and sexual compulsivity. 1.00
00:59:32.520 Steve is a long-term
00:59:33.660 sexual recovery member
00:59:34.940 and has personally
00:59:36.060 overcame the emotional
00:59:37.140 and spiritual despair
00:59:38.260 of abusing pornography
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00:59:44.740 Steve is an amazing
00:59:45.980 person
00:59:46.460 and he is a close
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00:59:49.380 I mean that.
00:59:50.980 Valor Recovery
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00:59:53.060 necessary to have
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00:59:56.280 Their coaches
00:59:56.760 are in long-term recovery
00:59:58.020 and will be your partner,
00:59:59.860 mentor,
01:00:00.460 and spiritual guide
01:00:01.620 to transcend
01:00:02.460 these problematic behaviors.
01:00:04.740 To learn more
01:00:05.540 about Valor Recovery,
01:00:07.260 please visit them
01:00:08.340 at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com
01:00:14.320 or email them
01:00:15.880 at admin
01:00:17.180 at valorrecoverycoaching.com.
01:00:21.700 Thank you.
01:00:24.020 There you go, brother.
01:00:28.980 Popping into that
01:00:29.820 Celsius, brother.
01:00:31.100 I'll have a little with you.
01:00:32.460 Let's do it.
01:00:33.220 There you go.
01:00:34.000 Steven Wilson Jr.
01:00:35.200 right there.
01:00:38.560 Yeah, I remember
01:00:39.280 I came to
01:00:39.860 and we just took
01:00:40.620 a bathroom break
01:00:41.180 and Steven put on
01:00:41.740 a nice sweater.
01:00:42.460 Yeah, I did.
01:00:42.980 It's nice.
01:00:44.420 It looks like
01:00:45.160 my grandma's curtain
01:00:46.920 so it feels...
01:00:48.760 Oh, yeah, dude.
01:00:49.880 My grandmother,
01:00:52.540 she... 1.00
01:00:53.140 My grandfather
01:00:53.640 worked at a factory
01:00:54.480 in their town.
01:00:55.180 It was a small town
01:00:55.760 called Wyoming, Illinois.
01:00:56.780 It was real small
01:00:57.560 but it was nice
01:00:59.080 when we went there
01:00:59.620 because it just
01:01:00.180 the world kind of
01:01:01.040 made sense there
01:01:01.920 a little more.
01:01:02.760 It was like a safe place
01:01:03.760 to be.
01:01:04.240 They had a park
01:01:04.700 right across the street
01:01:05.600 and they had a garden
01:01:07.400 where like most people
01:01:08.120 had gardens
01:01:08.760 where they grew
01:01:09.720 like strawberries
01:01:10.600 and tomatoes.
01:01:12.160 Everybody had tomato plants,
01:01:13.420 cherry tomato plants
01:01:14.420 and the summers,
01:01:15.600 the roads would bubble
01:01:16.600 in the summer
01:01:17.120 from the tar
01:01:17.780 and so it was like
01:01:19.360 kind of crazy
01:01:20.160 because every now
01:01:22.100 and then
01:01:22.460 you'd somehow 1.00
01:01:23.160 you'd be an idiot 1.00
01:01:24.060 at least once a year 1.00
01:01:25.720 and you would run
01:01:26.680 across to the park
01:01:27.540 but you would not
01:01:28.120 have your shoes on
01:01:28.720 and you would hit that road
01:01:29.620 and you would literally...
01:01:31.560 You would have
01:01:32.640 what we called
01:01:33.540 NAACP feet,
01:01:35.480 you know?
01:01:35.980 And I don't know
01:01:36.540 if that's a racially
01:01:37.160 charged terminal.
01:01:37.840 I don't think it is.
01:01:38.700 I think it's safe
01:01:39.460 but yeah,
01:01:40.520 you would get...
01:01:41.140 You would just...
01:01:41.920 But the crazy part is
01:01:43.060 once you got the NAACP
01:01:44.280 you'd be faster at the park
01:01:45.620 and that was the craziest part too.
01:01:46.940 Yeah,
01:01:47.860 I mean you got that
01:01:48.400 extra soul now.
01:01:49.300 Oh yeah,
01:01:49.720 that's what it was.
01:01:50.580 Yeah,
01:01:50.840 you got something to grip now.
01:01:52.300 Oh dude,
01:01:52.720 you were dude.
01:01:53.560 Oh,
01:01:53.820 you went home
01:01:54.480 my grandmother knew.
01:01:55.440 Bio souls.
01:01:56.300 Yeah,
01:01:56.720 you were locked in.
01:01:57.320 Like you got a free pair
01:01:58.340 of Nikes.
01:01:59.420 Yeah,
01:01:59.780 you did bro.
01:02:02.000 But there was
01:02:02.720 so many fun things
01:02:03.900 just about being
01:02:04.520 in like a small
01:02:05.300 Midwestern community.
01:02:07.820 The safety of it,
01:02:08.820 the bike riding,
01:02:10.420 the like baseball cards.
01:02:12.500 Dude,
01:02:12.600 we would go to this place
01:02:13.520 and they had a dime store.
01:02:15.360 The smell of them. 1.00
01:02:15.720 The shitty chewing gum 1.00
01:02:17.620 in the pack. 0.99
01:02:18.500 That was so stale.
01:02:19.360 It was so gross.
01:02:20.120 You'd eat it anyway.
01:02:20.740 I chewed it every time.
01:02:21.440 Yes.
01:02:21.780 I'd be like every time.
01:02:22.860 I don't care how bad it is.
01:02:23.960 Sometimes it would just disintegrate.
01:02:25.500 Yeah.
01:02:25.920 Somebody would like break off
01:02:27.140 and like you could
01:02:28.340 open a box with it.
01:02:30.900 Yeah,
01:02:31.460 you could dude.
01:02:32.780 And every card
01:02:33.700 was Mark Grace.
01:02:34.560 I felt like
01:02:35.020 every card
01:02:35.820 was Mark Grace.
01:02:36.780 Grace too.
01:02:37.460 Or Sean Dunstan
01:02:38.660 or Chris Sabo.
01:02:40.960 They were all
01:02:41.440 Wade Boggs.
01:02:42.220 Yes.
01:02:42.820 Yeah.
01:02:43.560 Sabo.
01:02:44.280 Gosh, man.
01:02:44.940 You're dropping heat.
01:02:46.320 Well, dude,
01:02:46.800 I mean,
01:02:47.100 your song 1994
01:02:48.680 was like
01:02:49.320 it's just one of the best
01:02:50.420 pieces of nostalgia.
01:02:52.680 No.
01:02:52.960 Like I remember,
01:02:54.100 yeah.
01:02:55.060 I remember like
01:02:56.140 when I was a kid
01:02:57.980 my mom had this rug
01:02:59.220 in her room
01:02:59.740 and it was like a
01:03:00.500 I think it was a cow. 0.94
01:03:02.320 I don't know where
01:03:02.780 she got it from
01:03:03.660 or something.
01:03:03.920 But it was kind of like
01:03:04.380 a prized possession.
01:03:05.480 It was just like
01:03:05.980 a cow skin rug. 0.81
01:03:07.420 It could have been 0.99
01:03:08.040 a damn Dalmatian 1.00
01:03:09.060 or something. 1.00
01:03:09.440 I don't know.
01:03:09.760 It looked like
01:03:10.440 it could have been
01:03:12.280 a big Dalmatian.
01:03:13.900 It could have been
01:03:14.560 Dalmatian rug.
01:03:15.580 It could have been
01:03:16.240 a great Dane
01:03:16.940 and we got swindled.
01:03:18.000 But anyway,
01:03:19.580 she said it was a cow
01:03:23.640 and I would lay there
01:03:26.100 and I would like
01:03:27.600 put my face right
01:03:28.500 and I would inhale it
01:03:29.880 and like
01:03:30.460 because I didn't get
01:03:31.420 to spend a lot of time
01:03:32.060 with my mom
01:03:32.420 but sometimes at night
01:03:33.540 like
01:03:33.860 she would put on
01:03:34.940 hand cream or something
01:03:35.980 and that was like
01:03:36.800 a big thing.
01:03:38.220 When I was a kid
01:03:39.040 hand cream came out
01:03:40.220 for women
01:03:40.640 and so women 1.00
01:03:41.280 were always just put
01:03:42.640 I mean God.
01:03:44.380 I'd be like mom
01:03:44.820 do you love me
01:03:45.440 and she'd be like
01:03:45.780 well hold on
01:03:46.220 let me put this
01:03:46.680 hand cream on.
01:03:47.680 You know?
01:03:48.360 It was yeah
01:03:48.800 it was just
01:03:49.840 she had
01:03:50.700 every woman at the time
01:03:51.800 had to have hand cream 0.89
01:03:52.940 it's like
01:03:53.200 they couldn't even
01:03:54.400 cook anymore
01:03:55.020 because they couldn't
01:03:55.780 open the cupboards
01:03:57.500 because they just
01:03:58.140 were too
01:03:58.560 they would slip
01:03:59.820 out of their hands.
01:04:00.480 I think women 1.00
01:04:00.900 were just looking
01:04:01.320 for an excuse
01:04:02.020 to get out of the kitchen
01:04:02.540 so I can't pick up
01:04:03.540 a pot.
01:04:04.940 Absolutely
01:04:05.180 I'll drop it.
01:04:06.100 I have too much
01:04:06.760 hand cream on it.
01:04:07.120 Everything's cast iron
01:04:07.960 back then
01:04:08.440 and heavy.
01:04:08.740 It was like
01:04:09.340 we can't
01:04:10.040 we can't afford
01:04:10.900 to lose any of this
01:04:11.900 but I would lay in there
01:04:14.200 and I would like
01:04:15.680 put my face
01:04:16.380 on the carpet
01:04:16.920 like on the rug
01:04:18.420 and I would inhale
01:04:20.660 that smell
01:04:21.180 of like leather
01:04:21.980 and I would just
01:04:24.140 kind of pretend
01:04:24.940 that like
01:04:25.440 I lived in like
01:04:26.400 a different world
01:04:27.280 or that like
01:04:27.940 like we didn't have
01:04:28.860 a dad around
01:04:29.440 so I don't know
01:04:30.100 if I'd pretend
01:04:30.620 like there was
01:04:31.000 like this manly
01:04:31.900 energy
01:04:32.320 or just something
01:04:33.200 you know
01:04:33.800 it would kind of
01:04:34.260 like the smell
01:04:35.080 would fuel
01:04:35.820 my imagination
01:04:37.360 you know
01:04:38.640 and I would just
01:04:39.260 fantasize
01:04:39.980 that like we lived
01:04:40.620 on like a
01:04:41.160 Ponderosa
01:04:42.320 or that we lived
01:04:43.200 out in like
01:04:44.000 New Mexico
01:04:45.400 or Texas
01:04:46.460 or something
01:04:47.160 you know
01:04:47.580 or like
01:04:48.060 I don't know
01:04:49.140 just that things
01:04:50.020 were different
01:04:50.580 but there was
01:04:51.300 something about
01:04:51.940 when you were a kid
01:04:52.840 or when you were young
01:04:54.660 and just putting
01:04:55.200 your face
01:04:55.640 on the carpet
01:04:56.140 it was like
01:04:56.640 we used to do
01:04:57.200 there wasn't
01:04:57.920 you weren't on your
01:04:58.520 phone all the time
01:04:59.340 and TV
01:05:00.460 you couldn't just
01:05:01.000 have whatever
01:05:01.280 you wanted
01:05:01.760 so you
01:05:02.200 you would just
01:05:03.440 do kind of
01:05:04.040 crazy things
01:05:05.120 you'd look
01:05:05.540 under the couch
01:05:06.240 just to see
01:05:06.860 what was under there
01:05:07.620 like nobody
01:05:08.180 does that anymore
01:05:08.980 yeah
01:05:09.680 yeah that was
01:05:11.280 exciting
01:05:11.780 that was almost
01:05:12.300 like taking a vacation
01:05:13.280 or whatever
01:05:13.600 just looking under there
01:05:14.380 get a flashlight
01:05:15.060 man
01:05:15.440 blow your mind
01:05:16.380 there's a whole
01:05:17.580 other world
01:05:18.120 under here
01:05:18.740 like spiders
01:05:19.680 there's like
01:05:20.360 yes
01:05:20.760 you'd be curious
01:05:21.820 about your own world
01:05:22.900 you were curious
01:05:23.960 about the things
01:05:24.620 you had in your own world
01:05:25.680 and you'd ask
01:05:26.280 mama what is this for
01:05:27.580 why do we have this
01:05:28.320 there was just a lot more
01:05:29.700 like the storytelling
01:05:31.260 you needed
01:05:32.040 it was like
01:05:32.600 more prevalent
01:05:33.800 you know
01:05:34.320 and you had to tell a story
01:05:35.760 you had to find some value
01:05:36.980 like we created the stories
01:05:38.740 there wasn't like the internet
01:05:39.840 where you could just go
01:05:40.660 and like
01:05:41.080 oh share this link
01:05:42.780 you know
01:05:43.140 we like
01:05:44.080 that's why the storytellers
01:05:46.080 were so valuable then
01:05:47.080 because it was like
01:05:47.440 oh you gotta ask him
01:05:48.620 the only way you're gonna hear this
01:05:49.860 is if you ask him
01:05:51.220 you know
01:05:51.600 or her
01:05:52.420 and they're gonna tell you about it
01:05:53.760 and man that was the best
01:05:54.940 what do you think
01:05:55.600 this may be
01:05:57.320 I may be out of place here
01:05:59.040 but
01:05:59.300 you know
01:06:00.780 because
01:06:01.000 I feel like stand-up comedy
01:06:03.060 and songwriting
01:06:03.960 is kind of our last
01:06:05.160 that's our
01:06:06.480 that's our
01:06:07.820 that is our storytelling
01:06:09.240 now
01:06:09.780 because yeah
01:06:10.320 like you're right
01:06:10.820 people don't pass down
01:06:12.020 those stories generally anymore
01:06:13.600 like they used to
01:06:14.600 and
01:06:14.780 I wonder if people are craving
01:06:16.660 comedy
01:06:17.960 and
01:06:18.600 creating songwriting
01:06:19.980 craving songwriting
01:06:21.140 in the
01:06:22.100 in the same way
01:06:22.920 that you know
01:06:23.580 we
01:06:23.800 we used to
01:06:24.880 because
01:06:25.320 there maybe is a lack of that
01:06:27.220 those stories being passed down
01:06:28.920 and that
01:06:29.260 because I feel like
01:06:31.160 you know
01:06:31.500 great comedians
01:06:33.220 are great storytellers
01:06:34.440 and great songwriters
01:06:35.400 are great storytellers
01:06:36.740 and
01:06:36.940 and that is something that
01:06:38.900 our culture is
01:06:40.620 really not
01:06:41.840 latching on to
01:06:43.040 is telling stories
01:06:44.180 even like a good joke
01:06:45.420 you know
01:06:45.740 it's hard to find somebody
01:06:46.760 you know
01:06:47.920 when I was growing up
01:06:49.000 there would always be like
01:06:49.940 somebody that would just have
01:06:51.980 like a thousand jokes
01:06:53.200 and they weren't comedians
01:06:54.560 they weren't professional comedians
01:06:56.060 and they
01:06:56.380 they weren't
01:06:57.320 wanting to be
01:06:58.680 and
01:06:58.940 but they just had a myriad of jokes
01:07:01.300 which are basically stories
01:07:02.620 like they would go
01:07:03.700 you know
01:07:04.080 they would infuse the jokes
01:07:05.440 into the stories
01:07:06.320 like you wouldn't know
01:07:07.000 if they were telling the truth or not
01:07:08.320 oh yeah
01:07:08.860 and I was like
01:07:09.700 it's kind of a lost art
01:07:10.920 that you don't really see
01:07:12.640 like happening a lot anymore
01:07:14.680 and
01:07:15.000 yeah they had good storytellers
01:07:16.440 well storytelling was a big thing
01:07:17.780 well I think this is
01:07:18.880 this is a more general way
01:07:20.280 to look at it
01:07:20.780 I think we've lost some creativity
01:07:22.480 yeah
01:07:23.340 and I think we've lost creativity
01:07:24.760 in a lot of ways
01:07:25.460 I think it's one of the reasons
01:07:26.700 why Los Angeles has struggled
01:07:28.020 in some ways
01:07:28.620 because
01:07:29.360 in the beginning
01:07:30.220 Hollywood
01:07:30.820 Hollywood has kind of struggled
01:07:32.360 in some ways
01:07:33.640 and I say this like
01:07:35.700 in the sense that
01:07:36.980 it started to feel super uncreative
01:07:39.600 out there
01:07:40.100 yeah
01:07:40.660 right
01:07:40.880 and I don't mean to speak bad on that
01:07:42.440 but I just think it's a note for
01:07:43.900 that we've just
01:07:47.260 we've
01:07:47.600 we're missing some creativity
01:07:49.320 in the world
01:07:50.180 and I think
01:07:50.580 the gatekeepers of creativity
01:07:52.540 are starting to fall
01:07:53.800 so I think you are like
01:07:54.820 I think we're in a desperate place
01:07:56.760 for creativity
01:07:57.620 and for authenticity
01:07:59.180 where creativity
01:08:00.000 you feel like it's
01:08:00.700 there's something
01:08:01.860 genuine about it
01:08:03.540 yeah
01:08:03.900 maybe
01:08:04.280 I don't know
01:08:05.040 it's a great question man
01:08:06.640 I think authentic is
01:08:09.360 like you said
01:08:10.620 because it's really hard
01:08:11.860 to authenticate anything anymore
01:08:14.040 it's kind of hard to find out
01:08:16.240 what is real
01:08:16.920 and what is not
01:08:18.400 and
01:08:18.720 you know
01:08:20.440 I tend to authenticate things
01:08:23.140 with
01:08:23.480 emotions and experience
01:08:25.780 like
01:08:26.160 if I write a song
01:08:27.380 I kind of have to write it from
01:08:29.660 I can't write
01:08:31.480 or perform anything
01:08:33.000 that I cannot authenticate
01:08:35.280 from my own experiences
01:08:36.800 and my own emotions
01:08:38.000 so
01:08:38.580 did that make it tough
01:08:39.960 for you to write songs
01:08:40.640 for other people
01:08:41.380 I think that was a big challenge
01:08:43.140 for me
01:08:43.700 trying to get other people
01:08:45.260 to see the
01:08:46.560 authentication
01:08:47.980 of my emotions
01:08:49.700 and
01:08:50.960 and finding that
01:08:52.060 authenticity
01:08:53.320 within themselves
01:08:54.240 perhaps
01:08:54.640 and that alignment
01:08:55.980 happening
01:08:56.660 for sure
01:08:57.280 was a difficult challenge
01:08:58.860 and
01:08:59.180 and for you
01:08:59.840 say you write a song
01:09:00.560 you somebody takes it
01:09:01.460 or somebody accepts it
01:09:02.280 you know
01:09:02.500 as a
01:09:02.780 and they're gonna cut it
01:09:04.100 and then you're like
01:09:05.860 it doesn't really fit that person
01:09:07.320 that's a nightmare too
01:09:08.680 that you don't think about
01:09:09.680 and then it's really tough
01:09:11.120 yeah
01:09:11.640 did it ever happen to you
01:09:12.700 yeah it did
01:09:14.140 and I mean
01:09:14.920 and
01:09:15.600 but you know
01:09:16.180 I think a lot of it
01:09:16.920 is that they weren't able
01:09:17.740 to authenticate
01:09:19.280 the emotion
01:09:20.100 that I
01:09:20.480 that
01:09:21.380 that the music
01:09:22.320 had come from
01:09:23.000 that it
01:09:23.420 had originated from
01:09:25.300 and
01:09:26.260 that's not their fault
01:09:27.580 and it's really not mine
01:09:28.880 it was just kind of
01:09:29.520 the nature
01:09:29.940 of the business
01:09:30.780 but yeah
01:09:32.280 I think
01:09:32.700 you know
01:09:33.380 it's tough
01:09:34.760 if I've had any advantages
01:09:36.360 I can
01:09:36.680 the only way
01:09:37.280 I can create a song
01:09:38.840 is
01:09:39.080 is
01:09:39.460 is I have to authenticate it
01:09:41.700 in something truly real
01:09:42.860 I can't like
01:09:43.600 I can't do fantasy music
01:09:45.200 I can't like
01:09:46.100 I can't be like
01:09:47.580 something
01:09:48.200 I can't be Superman
01:09:50.220 I can't be a Marvel character
01:09:51.860 and right
01:09:52.340 I can't
01:09:53.180 play something I'm not
01:09:54.960 I think it's because
01:09:55.800 there's too much of you
01:09:56.800 already who you are
01:09:57.860 that I don't even think
01:09:59.380 you know
01:09:59.740 it would fit
01:10:00.420 you're just a rare foot
01:10:01.640 you know what I'm saying
01:10:03.020 so it's like
01:10:03.800 a rare foot
01:10:04.940 it's like
01:10:05.360 yeah
01:10:05.540 some feet
01:10:06.060 it can be like
01:10:06.500 oh we'll put it in something
01:10:07.540 it'll look good here
01:10:08.780 it'll look good here
01:10:09.560 but I think
01:10:10.640 when you're like
01:10:11.120 no that's
01:10:11.900 that's
01:10:12.700 yeah I was called
01:10:13.880 different a lot
01:10:14.840 as a kid
01:10:15.380 it was not a compliment
01:10:16.360 most of the time
01:10:17.560 it was really
01:10:18.640 but
01:10:19.020 I have to say
01:10:20.180 it has been an advantage
01:10:21.460 of as of late
01:10:22.520 and uh
01:10:23.140 like
01:10:23.660 being the weirdo
01:10:24.740 finally helped out
01:10:25.820 and uh
01:10:26.680 oh for sure
01:10:27.740 you know
01:10:28.420 for so long
01:10:29.000 you're Clark Kent
01:10:29.700 and you're in there
01:10:30.200 just you know
01:10:31.080 changing clothes
01:10:31.880 in a phone booth
01:10:32.600 or whatever
01:10:32.900 and people like
01:10:33.360 this guy 1.00
01:10:33.820 is a pervert 1.00
01:10:34.540 or whatever 0.94
01:10:34.920 and then eventually
01:10:36.020 you come out
01:10:36.620 and think
01:10:36.880 some things
01:10:37.360 start to fit
01:10:38.020 um
01:10:38.780 I've heard you say
01:10:39.760 I've heard you say
01:10:40.500 that songwriting
01:10:41.360 kind of was like
01:10:42.100 a survival tool
01:10:44.280 for you
01:10:44.880 mm-hmm
01:10:45.720 that's the right words
01:10:47.040 no yeah
01:10:47.840 it was like
01:10:48.540 it was my therapy
01:10:49.940 especially in those
01:10:50.900 first couple years
01:10:51.900 after my dad died
01:10:53.140 like I
01:10:53.820 I kind of uh
01:10:56.160 I used science
01:10:58.060 and songwriting
01:10:58.960 at the same time
01:11:00.080 because
01:11:00.680 I have a lot of
01:11:01.540 training in science
01:11:02.460 I went and got
01:11:03.120 a science degree
01:11:03.940 I worked
01:11:04.420 would you go to Purdue
01:11:05.360 no I went to MTSU
01:11:07.220 oh you did
01:11:07.700 yeah
01:11:08.140 and I worked at Mars
01:11:09.280 the food company
01:11:10.600 and R&D for them
01:11:11.720 as a food scientist
01:11:13.280 no way
01:11:13.800 yeah
01:11:14.040 Mars candies
01:11:14.960 yeah
01:11:15.360 research and development
01:11:16.180 for them
01:11:16.600 yeah
01:11:17.000 they're based
01:11:17.900 they're based
01:11:18.460 and y'all make Snickers
01:11:19.000 huh
01:11:19.280 they do
01:11:20.040 but I actually
01:11:20.480 I worked in pet food
01:11:21.880 for them
01:11:22.320 which is based out
01:11:23.280 here in Nashville
01:11:24.100 um
01:11:25.100 the Nashville area
01:11:25.980 at least
01:11:26.340 oh god
01:11:26.680 if you were snacking
01:11:27.500 on that huh
01:11:28.200 yep
01:11:28.580 that's me right there 1.00
01:11:29.420 shit 0.99
01:11:29.720 I wouldn't even go to work 1.00
01:11:30.680 if that's all they had 1.00
01:11:31.360 in the damn snack bowl 1.00
01:11:32.360 yep 1.00
01:11:32.820 and they did
01:11:33.760 they had like
01:11:34.300 buckets of Snickers
01:11:35.520 I put on like
01:11:36.440 30 pounds
01:11:37.020 oh I was talking
01:11:37.560 about pet food
01:11:38.460 no
01:11:38.920 oh yeah
01:11:39.320 I'm like
01:11:40.760 I'd wear
01:11:41.100 if I ate that much
01:11:42.580 pet food 0.99
01:11:43.000 I'd wear a damn 0.99
01:11:43.620 I'd wear a damn 1.00
01:11:44.440 helmet too 1.00
01:11:44.980 that's insane
01:11:45.720 people did eat
01:11:46.900 pet food there
01:11:47.540 I saw it
01:11:48.100 would they
01:11:48.500 would some people
01:11:48.900 try a little
01:11:49.360 got used to it
01:11:49.960 yeah
01:11:50.100 I'd see some people
01:11:51.040 do it
01:11:51.500 like sometimes
01:11:52.280 like you know
01:11:53.100 you'd see some
01:11:53.640 high level people
01:11:54.360 do it too
01:11:54.920 like
01:11:55.200 it's like
01:11:55.580 you don't need
01:11:56.100 to do this dude 1.00
01:11:56.880 oh shit 1.00
01:11:57.380 that's just 1.00
01:11:57.740 Cracker Jack Russell
01:11:58.720 you know
01:11:59.120 they're just trying
01:11:59.740 to like
01:12:00.120 you know
01:12:00.640 get down
01:12:01.220 you know
01:12:02.160 get down
01:12:02.580 with us
01:12:02.960 a little bit
01:12:03.560 oh yeah
01:12:04.200 some people
01:12:04.560 love animals
01:12:05.100 so much
01:12:05.580 they'll have
01:12:05.880 you know
01:12:06.380 there's people
01:12:06.820 even videos
01:12:07.640 of people
01:12:07.880 that will
01:12:08.180 snack with
01:12:08.880 them
01:12:09.020 and have
01:12:09.320 those little
01:12:09.660 treats
01:12:10.220 yeah
01:12:10.580 I don't advise
01:12:11.360 it from a
01:12:11.820 microbiological
01:12:12.700 perspective
01:12:13.340 really
01:12:13.820 because I have
01:12:14.500 a micro degree
01:12:15.480 as well
01:12:15.920 I wouldn't eat
01:12:17.020 raw cat food
01:12:17.920 like wet cat food
01:12:18.960 I mean
01:12:19.240 it does go through
01:12:20.740 like a cooking process 1.00
01:12:22.000 that shit makes my winger soft 1.00
01:12:22.500 brother 1.00
01:12:22.820 I'll tell you that
01:12:23.440 out the gate
01:12:24.080 but I did see dudes
01:12:25.240 eat it
01:12:25.780 would you
01:12:26.260 yeah
01:12:26.520 like with a spoon
01:12:27.500 like wet cat food
01:12:28.980 eat it
01:12:29.460 why
01:12:29.680 I think it was a flex
01:12:31.800 no
01:12:32.740 it was a flex
01:12:33.480 yeah
01:12:33.780 is there one type
01:12:35.240 that's the good type
01:12:36.240 take me through
01:12:36.780 some of that
01:12:37.300 no
01:12:38.580 it's all
01:12:39.580 as far as like
01:12:40.520 cat food to eat
01:12:41.760 yeah
01:12:42.060 it gets a little snack
01:12:43.000 no I don't want to try
01:12:44.160 none of it
01:12:44.720 because I knew
01:12:45.600 what was in that
01:12:46.460 and I knew
01:12:47.900 like what was in
01:12:48.720 like proteins
01:12:49.780 and like all that
01:12:50.860 that goes into
01:12:51.560 those foods
01:12:52.840 and I understood
01:12:54.780 all the kill steps
01:12:55.700 and stuff were there
01:12:56.580 but I also know
01:12:57.340 that my digestive tract
01:12:58.660 is far different
01:12:59.420 from felines
01:13:00.580 or canines
01:13:01.620 and we ain't made to eat
01:13:03.740 what they're made to eat
01:13:04.760 so
01:13:05.500 so yeah
01:13:07.400 I didn't really
01:13:08.200 I did not partake
01:13:09.440 but
01:13:09.960 yeah you'd see a dude
01:13:11.400 like take a big spoonful
01:13:12.800 of cat food
01:13:13.700 and then like drive off
01:13:14.920 in his Lamborghini
01:13:15.780 because you know
01:13:16.680 it was usually like
01:13:17.380 a high level person
01:13:18.660 yes
01:13:19.340 like
01:13:19.660 it's a power move
01:13:20.280 it was a power move
01:13:21.360 yeah
01:13:21.660 it was impressive though 0.98
01:13:23.280 I was like damn 0.98
01:13:24.200 dude I was just talking 0.99
01:13:25.000 to my friend
01:13:25.340 this morning at breakfast
01:13:26.020 about things
01:13:26.580 that the powerful do
01:13:27.660 and why they operate
01:13:29.300 certain ways
01:13:30.020 because it's like
01:13:30.720 yeah what can I do
01:13:31.600 how weird or could this get
01:13:32.880 if you have everything
01:13:33.900 if the basic
01:13:35.320 like
01:13:36.300 I need to make money
01:13:38.180 to survive
01:13:38.660 I need to feed my family
01:13:39.820 or once you have like
01:13:40.980 I have seven wives
01:13:42.140 living in different cities
01:13:42.940 I'm gonna live in a jet
01:13:44.160 or I live in a
01:13:44.780 some people might be living
01:13:46.200 on other planets
01:13:46.960 now they don't even know
01:13:47.860 they've got their own islands
01:13:48.760 yes
01:13:49.260 yeah at this point
01:13:50.860 yes I'm having cat food
01:13:52.100 but I want the greatest
01:13:52.900 cat food ever
01:13:53.480 I want cat food
01:13:54.320 that cats can't even
01:13:55.560 afford to eat
01:13:56.240 yeah
01:13:56.600 and sometimes they pretend
01:13:58.320 like they could discern
01:13:59.660 between
01:14:00.280 be like
01:14:00.600 hmm
01:14:00.960 they're not gonna like this
01:14:02.220 it's like
01:14:02.600 you're not a cat
01:14:04.480 yeah
01:14:04.860 like how do you
01:14:06.260 or he eats it
01:14:07.260 he's eating
01:14:07.660 that's for cats
01:14:08.500 he's like saying like
01:14:09.420 he's basically stating
01:14:10.560 he's eating so much
01:14:11.600 of this food
01:14:12.180 he can now discern
01:14:13.420 between what
01:14:14.680 will work
01:14:15.640 and what will not
01:14:16.400 he has it all
01:14:16.960 that's good
01:14:17.900 yeah this is
01:14:18.640 oh that's good huh
01:14:19.440 oh that's good
01:14:20.060 they're gonna love this
01:14:21.280 yeah
01:14:21.680 the Himalayan cats
01:14:23.060 are gonna love this
01:14:23.820 a tilapia aftertaste
01:14:25.260 what uh
01:14:26.100 what was a product
01:14:26.860 that you guys made
01:14:27.500 while you were there
01:14:27.940 do you remember one product
01:14:28.540 that kind of came through
01:14:29.260 yeah it's called
01:14:29.700 Dentistix Fresh
01:14:31.040 it's still on the market
01:14:32.120 I see it out there
01:14:33.100 and it's for animals
01:14:33.700 yeah it's for dogs
01:14:34.900 it's a
01:14:35.400 it's a
01:14:36.160 basically a
01:14:37.620 teeth cleaning
01:14:38.860 dental chew
01:14:40.000 oh it's pretty cool
01:14:40.520 very digestible
01:14:41.360 there it is
01:14:42.420 that's my baby
01:14:43.020 right there
01:14:43.580 oh yeah
01:14:44.220 I've seen that before
01:14:45.140 yeah
01:14:45.600 um
01:14:46.580 that was
01:14:47.260 one of my products
01:14:48.920 that I launched
01:14:49.900 from start to finish
01:14:51.040 and um
01:14:52.260 yeah
01:14:53.200 it's cool
01:14:53.900 it's cool
01:14:54.340 it's cool to see it
01:14:55.180 kind of out there
01:14:55.820 still
01:14:56.180 still doing its thing
01:14:57.480 yeah
01:14:57.820 at the end of the show
01:14:58.720 you hum hum some of those
01:14:59.880 out in the audience
01:15:00.480 yeah
01:15:01.000 I probably need to start
01:15:02.160 chucking them out there 0.93
01:15:03.040 like take a bite out 0.97
01:15:04.360 I'll catch one
01:15:05.620 I'll catch one 0.99
01:15:07.120 in my mouth
01:15:07.560 no I would eat one of those
01:15:08.480 if I had to
01:15:09.220 but I wouldn't eat
01:15:09.840 none of that cat food
01:15:10.800 that's fair
01:15:11.860 and look I love to hear that
01:15:12.940 that's mostly like
01:15:13.540 flour
01:15:14.120 that's mostly wheat flour
01:15:15.540 and it got
01:15:16.660 you know
01:15:17.260 it ain't got the same
01:15:18.160 ingredients as cats
01:15:19.120 did you ever pitch a product
01:15:20.500 that they didn't like
01:15:21.240 are you allowed to pitch products
01:15:22.440 you did
01:15:22.800 yeah I did
01:15:23.240 I pitched a lot of products
01:15:24.580 um
01:15:25.080 but
01:15:25.680 at the end of the day
01:15:27.340 I was the geeky scientist
01:15:28.620 and they're like
01:15:29.180 you need to make what
01:15:30.060 you need to make
01:15:31.880 and
01:15:32.100 they have a
01:15:33.420 a much
01:15:34.040 I think a greater understanding
01:15:35.840 of what the market requires
01:15:37.300 than some of us geeky scientists do
01:15:39.080 I had my own lab
01:15:39.960 and I would
01:15:40.360 I would come up with these new things
01:15:42.480 and new designs
01:15:43.220 and pitch them
01:15:43.840 in my free time
01:15:45.580 and
01:15:45.780 there was a lot of creativity to it
01:15:48.520 and um
01:15:49.100 and you know
01:15:50.580 that was
01:15:50.980 you know
01:15:51.320 there's actually a lot more creativity
01:15:52.820 to analysis than you think
01:15:55.000 and there's a lot more analysis
01:15:56.220 to creativity
01:15:57.360 than you think
01:15:58.100 I think the two can
01:15:59.180 work very well together
01:16:01.140 and
01:16:01.480 like
01:16:02.060 back to what I was saying
01:16:03.660 but like
01:16:04.080 when my dad died
01:16:04.900 I was able to
01:16:05.880 kind of apply
01:16:06.840 science
01:16:07.900 and songwriting
01:16:09.280 um
01:16:10.240 because
01:16:10.960 I was like
01:16:12.260 so devastated
01:16:13.320 but
01:16:14.200 like
01:16:15.220 I was kind of able
01:16:16.260 to
01:16:16.600 metaphorically
01:16:17.720 put a lab coat on
01:16:18.820 and go into
01:16:20.360 researcher mode
01:16:21.500 and um
01:16:22.400 and that's
01:16:23.140 kind of where
01:16:23.600 the songs came from
01:16:24.640 I just started
01:16:25.320 like looking at
01:16:27.260 my pain
01:16:28.040 from
01:16:28.840 another perspective
01:16:31.320 like trying to
01:16:32.080 look at it
01:16:32.720 from the outside in
01:16:33.700 like as a
01:16:34.680 an observer
01:16:35.720 and then
01:16:37.260 just kind of
01:16:38.440 documenting
01:16:39.200 my findings
01:16:40.440 as I went
01:16:41.120 like I spent
01:16:41.740 four years
01:16:42.380 making this record
01:16:43.380 Son of Dad
01:16:44.120 and
01:16:44.360 like two or three
01:16:45.740 of those years
01:16:46.360 were research years
01:16:47.400 just me documenting
01:16:48.540 everything I was going through
01:16:49.980 wow
01:16:50.320 and um
01:16:50.840 and keeping
01:16:51.980 you know
01:16:52.720 meticulous records
01:16:53.760 like scientists do
01:16:54.980 but
01:16:55.320 I was channeling that
01:16:57.160 into songs
01:16:57.900 instead of like
01:16:58.760 you know
01:16:59.140 a pet food product
01:17:00.020 but I was still using
01:17:01.060 the same methodology
01:17:02.260 like
01:17:02.820 because I
01:17:03.200 I had to be true to it
01:17:04.920 because that's the thing
01:17:06.620 about science
01:17:07.240 it's just a truth
01:17:08.000 detection tool
01:17:08.800 it's not an ideology
01:17:09.740 or a paradigm
01:17:10.580 it's just
01:17:11.840 it's just an
01:17:13.060 effective tool
01:17:13.980 if it's used correctly
01:17:15.160 it's like a metal detector
01:17:16.140 yes exactly
01:17:17.020 or a chainsaw
01:17:18.180 even if you use it
01:17:19.180 great it can be great
01:17:20.240 but if you use it right
01:17:21.400 it can be great
01:17:21.960 if you use it wrong
01:17:22.800 it might cut your 1.00
01:17:23.680 damn hand off 1.00
01:17:24.380 like science created 1.00
01:17:25.340 the atomic bomb
01:17:26.300 it's also created
01:17:27.960 cures for
01:17:29.560 incurable diseases
01:17:31.580 that we thought
01:17:32.440 um
01:17:32.900 it's a beautiful thing
01:17:34.140 but at the end of the day
01:17:35.080 it's just a tool
01:17:35.940 for detecting truth
01:17:37.580 and I used it
01:17:38.620 like that
01:17:39.240 so
01:17:39.660 I would have this
01:17:41.260 question
01:17:42.000 and
01:17:43.080 I'd have my observations
01:17:44.340 and then I'd create
01:17:45.320 a hypothesis
01:17:46.200 as you would say
01:17:47.380 which would basically
01:17:48.720 be a song
01:17:49.500 a song title
01:17:50.420 an idea
01:17:51.000 and I would go out
01:17:51.840 and test it in the world
01:17:52.840 I'd play in front of
01:17:53.720 seven people here
01:17:54.720 ten people there
01:17:56.240 seven people here
01:17:57.320 seven people there
01:17:58.320 and I would get
01:17:58.860 instant data
01:18:00.380 feedback
01:18:01.160 feedback
01:18:01.660 which is data
01:18:02.480 in the scientific field
01:18:04.040 we can spend
01:18:05.080 six months
01:18:05.800 before we
01:18:06.580 it can be six months
01:18:07.800 before you get
01:18:08.340 your first result
01:18:09.360 from an experiment
01:18:11.020 so I was getting
01:18:11.700 instant results
01:18:12.520 so I love that part
01:18:13.740 of it
01:18:14.100 you know
01:18:15.260 yeah
01:18:15.800 I think that instant feedback
01:18:16.920 is
01:18:17.260 I mean
01:18:18.000 yeah
01:18:18.380 it helps you know
01:18:18.780 what's going on
01:18:19.240 it's even like
01:18:19.640 working with jokes
01:18:20.360 you know
01:18:20.800 yeah
01:18:21.140 absolutely
01:18:21.700 it's pretty fascinating
01:18:22.500 how like
01:18:23.020 the parts of your life
01:18:24.700 like to be a scientist
01:18:25.660 to have like a methodology
01:18:27.000 to then use it
01:18:28.440 to channel your emotions
01:18:30.000 and look at
01:18:31.020 you look at your emotions
01:18:32.020 look at your life
01:18:32.840 look at the path of things
01:18:34.260 you know
01:18:34.920 to put like
01:18:35.580 to almost like
01:18:37.740 take a template
01:18:38.420 of
01:18:39.540 science
01:18:40.780 and apply it to
01:18:42.020 something as emotional
01:18:43.700 as music
01:18:44.360 yeah
01:18:44.900 I kind of joke around
01:18:46.000 calling myself
01:18:46.980 a song scientist
01:18:48.060 but that's essentially
01:18:49.100 what it is
01:18:50.000 I mean
01:18:50.320 because
01:18:51.240 you know
01:18:51.980 user bias
01:18:52.780 is like
01:18:53.680 it can
01:18:54.340 so easily
01:18:55.700 contaminate
01:18:56.620 your results
01:18:57.580 and contaminate
01:18:58.860 your entire
01:18:59.440 experiment
01:19:00.120 and experience
01:19:01.600 and
01:19:02.840 so I really
01:19:03.980 was trying
01:19:04.580 to use
01:19:05.800 user bias
01:19:06.700 because I was
01:19:07.300 trying to
01:19:07.700 authenticate
01:19:08.200 something in
01:19:08.800 one of my own
01:19:09.400 emotions
01:19:09.800 and experiences
01:19:10.640 but also
01:19:11.340 take user bias
01:19:12.820 out of it
01:19:13.560 because
01:19:14.340 at the end of the day
01:19:15.660 you gotta find
01:19:16.380 the truth
01:19:16.860 and just because
01:19:18.040 you don't like
01:19:19.080 the results
01:19:19.600 doesn't mean
01:19:20.160 they're not true
01:19:20.880 and that's where
01:19:21.580 user bias
01:19:22.420 like gets in the way
01:19:24.060 because you want
01:19:24.960 the results
01:19:25.400 to be different
01:19:26.100 maybe you really
01:19:27.420 like this song
01:19:28.300 but you're not
01:19:29.040 getting the results
01:19:29.840 that you thought
01:19:30.700 it was gonna get
01:19:31.420 so you start
01:19:32.100 you start adjusting
01:19:33.400 your formula
01:19:34.480 and then before
01:19:35.480 you know it
01:19:36.040 you got conclusive
01:19:36.940 results
01:19:37.460 either
01:19:37.780 conclusively
01:19:39.360 this is not
01:19:40.180 the truth
01:19:40.700 or conclusively
01:19:41.780 this is the truth
01:19:42.820 and then you run
01:19:44.600 with the truth
01:19:45.220 whether it's
01:19:46.540 good for you
01:19:47.320 or bad for you
01:19:48.280 and that's
01:19:49.000 yeah I was just
01:19:50.040 looking at this
01:19:50.440 right here
01:19:50.660 it says
01:19:50.940 user bias
01:19:51.840 refers to
01:19:52.880 cognitive tendencies
01:19:53.840 that distort
01:19:54.620 how individuals
01:19:55.780 perceive
01:19:56.360 interpret
01:19:57.080 or respond
01:19:58.040 during research
01:19:58.860 what are examples
01:19:59.820 of user bias
01:20:00.520 for example
01:20:01.980 you
01:20:03.680 you think
01:20:04.820 that this is going
01:20:05.960 to work
01:20:06.860 for whatever reason
01:20:07.900 you have a hunch
01:20:08.780 like that this
01:20:10.120 whatever thing
01:20:11.140 is going to work
01:20:12.140 and you've now
01:20:13.320 like
01:20:13.620 attached an emotion
01:20:15.840 to it
01:20:16.940 because
01:20:17.340 you almost need
01:20:18.900 it to work
01:20:19.480 now
01:20:19.760 now it's more
01:20:21.260 about you
01:20:21.920 than it is
01:20:22.440 about the truth
01:20:23.200 like
01:20:24.180 so when you
01:20:24.600 go into
01:20:25.100 like
01:20:25.540 an experiment
01:20:26.160 it doesn't
01:20:27.240 need to work
01:20:27.920 out for you
01:20:28.640 like
01:20:29.100 your feelings
01:20:29.840 have to be
01:20:30.400 completely
01:20:31.060 separate
01:20:32.200 from this
01:20:33.020 if you're doing
01:20:33.480 true research
01:20:34.540 if you're going
01:20:35.100 to be a true
01:20:35.580 researcher
01:20:36.120 using the
01:20:37.320 scientific method
01:20:38.360 the proper way
01:20:39.700 so
01:20:40.580 you know
01:20:41.480 that's
01:20:41.960 I guess
01:20:42.340 when you get
01:20:42.760 into a song
01:20:43.420 especially a song
01:20:44.220 about your dad
01:20:45.140 or a song
01:20:45.720 about loss
01:20:46.580 it's easy
01:20:47.020 to be like
01:20:47.480 well
01:20:47.740 it needs
01:20:48.340 to be like
01:20:48.900 this
01:20:49.280 it needs
01:20:49.680 to say
01:20:50.060 this
01:20:50.500 or it needs
01:20:51.200 to say
01:20:51.560 that
01:20:51.820 because
01:20:52.120 that's
01:20:52.800 what's
01:20:52.920 going to
01:20:53.120 make me
01:20:53.580 feel good
01:20:54.100 but that's
01:20:54.660 may not
01:20:55.660 be the truth
01:20:56.480 yeah I think
01:20:57.460 your songs
01:20:57.840 don't really
01:20:58.300 take me
01:20:58.700 on like
01:20:59.000 a
01:20:59.160 they don't
01:21:00.060 take me
01:21:00.360 on a
01:21:00.580 typical
01:21:01.020 journey
01:21:01.620 of like
01:21:01.980 a beginning
01:21:02.440 middle
01:21:02.760 and end
01:21:03.260 I guess
01:21:03.660 and some
01:21:04.220 of them
01:21:04.340 are different
01:21:04.680 than others
01:21:05.060 of course
01:21:05.420 but yeah
01:21:06.660 I guess
01:21:06.920 sometimes
01:21:07.200 you think
01:21:07.460 of a song
01:21:08.000 especially
01:21:08.600 if it's
01:21:08.840 a country
01:21:09.120 song
01:21:09.400 I think
01:21:09.720 of having
01:21:10.180 like a
01:21:10.460 beginning
01:21:10.780 middle
01:21:11.060 and end
01:21:11.380 almost
01:21:11.560 like a
01:21:11.880 journey
01:21:12.280 whereas
01:21:13.120 yours
01:21:13.600 sometimes
01:21:13.880 sort of
01:21:14.400 like
01:21:14.580 take me
01:21:15.140 on
01:21:15.500 a ride
01:21:18.080 down
01:21:18.560 a ride
01:21:19.760 past
01:21:20.180 something
01:21:20.660 or through
01:21:21.520 something
01:21:21.980 yeah
01:21:22.560 and it's
01:21:23.040 not as
01:21:23.500 much
01:21:23.820 of like
01:21:24.280 you're
01:21:25.700 giving me
01:21:26.120 this story
01:21:27.080 as much
01:21:28.180 as you
01:21:28.660 are
01:21:28.880 providing
01:21:30.000 some
01:21:30.300 things
01:21:30.740 and I'm
01:21:32.100 the story
01:21:32.640 I'm remembering
01:21:33.340 the story
01:21:33.960 of mine
01:21:35.280 that pertains
01:21:35.960 that associates
01:21:36.740 with it
01:21:37.300 sometimes
01:21:37.560 yeah
01:21:37.800 well that's
01:21:38.480 I feel like
01:21:39.380 my favorite
01:21:39.860 and I'm not
01:21:39.940 trying to
01:21:40.180 like 0.99
01:21:40.540 what the fuck 0.99
01:21:41.580 do I know 0.99
01:21:41.900 but some
01:21:42.680 of that
01:21:42.900 happens
01:21:43.180 with your
01:21:43.420 music
01:21:43.680 that's
01:21:43.920 what I'm
01:21:44.080 saying
01:21:44.300 well that's
01:21:45.060 if
01:21:45.920 if there's
01:21:46.600 any goal
01:21:47.020 I've ever
01:21:47.380 had as a
01:21:47.840 songwriter
01:21:48.300 is to
01:21:48.800 basically
01:21:49.200 do that
01:21:49.880 because
01:21:50.240 I
01:21:50.560 I remember
01:21:51.520 I heard
01:21:51.920 this song
01:21:52.380 called
01:21:52.620 don't take
01:21:53.140 the girl
01:21:53.660 on a
01:21:54.300 school bus
01:21:54.840 when I was
01:21:55.300 a kid
01:21:55.600 it made
01:21:56.340 a mess
01:21:56.780 out of
01:21:57.100 me
01:21:57.920 and
01:21:58.200 yeah
01:21:58.720 because
01:21:58.880 everything
01:21:59.380 it's like
01:21:59.800 and this
01:22:00.380 is now
01:22:00.680 he's 20
01:22:01.120 years older
01:22:01.600 and then
01:22:01.920 now it's
01:22:02.400 the end
01:22:02.680 of the
01:22:02.860 time
01:22:03.260 but I
01:22:03.540 was able
01:22:03.920 in the
01:22:04.300 weirdest
01:22:04.540 way
01:22:04.880 because
01:22:05.040 my
01:22:05.220 mom
01:22:05.480 and dad
01:22:07.620 divorced
01:22:08.020 when I was
01:22:08.480 really young
01:22:09.060 and she
01:22:09.580 was with
01:22:09.960 some
01:22:10.340 abusive
01:22:11.500 men
01:22:12.040 and
01:22:12.980 and she
01:22:14.040 lived in
01:22:14.480 Tennessee
01:22:14.800 when I
01:22:15.500 was a
01:22:15.820 kid
01:22:16.060 and
01:22:16.420 I was
01:22:17.380 always
01:22:18.300 most of
01:22:18.740 my childhood
01:22:19.180 very worried
01:22:19.880 about her
01:22:20.460 like
01:22:20.840 really
01:22:21.320 very worried
01:22:22.300 about her
01:22:22.660 getting killed 0.57
01:22:23.340 or hurt 0.88
01:22:24.240 really badly
01:22:24.880 why did she
01:22:25.440 like abusive
01:22:25.960 men do you
01:22:26.440 think
01:22:26.780 I think
01:22:29.000 probably
01:22:29.840 a lot
01:22:31.760 her childhood
01:22:32.440 was very
01:22:32.920 very hard
01:22:33.500 oh so maybe
01:22:34.080 something happened
01:22:34.600 and then she
01:22:34.980 was related
01:22:35.420 to it
01:22:35.820 oh she's a 0.99
01:22:36.780 beautiful lady 0.78
01:22:37.260 what's her name
01:22:37.740 Kathy
01:22:38.400 Kathy Lynn
01:22:39.340 Kathy Lynn
01:22:40.480 there she is
01:22:41.320 yeah
01:22:41.680 and
01:22:42.240 you know
01:22:43.100 she's just a 0.79
01:22:43.760 baby
01:22:44.060 having a baby
01:22:44.880 and
01:22:45.520 you know
01:22:46.220 trying to
01:22:46.780 and my dad
01:22:47.540 was an
01:22:48.000 you know
01:22:48.520 a great
01:22:49.260 a great man
01:22:51.160 but they were
01:22:51.680 also teenagers
01:22:52.500 and they were
01:22:53.140 kind of like
01:22:53.560 forced to
01:22:54.200 wed
01:22:54.700 because of
01:22:55.340 religion
01:22:55.760 you know
01:22:56.480 like she was
01:22:57.700 six months pregnant
01:22:58.440 when they got
01:22:59.020 married with me
01:22:59.680 there's no way
01:23:00.420 they were
01:23:00.780 gonna have a
01:23:01.520 child out of
01:23:02.180 wedlock
01:23:02.700 right that was
01:23:03.580 not gonna
01:23:04.780 not cool
01:23:05.440 and then they
01:23:05.960 ended up having
01:23:06.380 two more kids
01:23:07.120 and before they
01:23:07.640 know it
01:23:07.920 they're 22
01:23:08.700 years old
01:23:09.300 and they got
01:23:09.740 three kids
01:23:10.420 and it's that
01:23:10.840 crazy
01:23:11.280 and so 0.99
01:23:12.800 you know
01:23:13.120 I have to
01:23:13.740 you know
01:23:14.620 give her a lot
01:23:15.420 of you know
01:23:16.460 a lot of grace
01:23:17.820 because of
01:23:18.440 you know
01:23:19.260 her life was
01:23:19.980 very hard
01:23:20.540 and she was
01:23:20.980 very young
01:23:21.760 and I don't
01:23:22.880 understand a lot
01:23:23.700 of the
01:23:24.040 you know
01:23:24.800 some of those
01:23:25.360 choices
01:23:25.760 she made
01:23:26.700 but I remember
01:23:27.320 you know
01:23:28.400 spending most
01:23:29.040 of my childhood
01:23:29.680 and
01:23:30.260 in fear
01:23:31.460 of her
01:23:32.600 of getting that
01:23:33.280 call that
01:23:33.720 she was
01:23:34.160 she was
01:23:34.820 gone
01:23:35.220 yeah
01:23:35.640 your mother
01:23:36.840 still alive
01:23:37.300 yes she is
01:23:38.340 oh beautiful
01:23:39.020 yeah and
01:23:39.700 she's had a
01:23:41.100 wild year
01:23:41.760 and she's
01:23:43.500 she's very much
01:23:44.720 with us
01:23:45.200 and she's had
01:23:46.440 a wild year
01:23:46.940 yeah she almost
01:23:47.840 got killed this
01:23:48.620 year on an
01:23:49.100 ATV accident
01:23:49.940 it's wild that
01:23:50.540 you brought
01:23:50.840 that picture up
01:23:51.720 but she
01:23:52.640 literally
01:23:53.000 yeah she
01:23:54.260 she had a
01:23:55.160 very much
01:23:56.320 a near death
01:23:56.920 experience
01:23:57.360 she spent
01:23:57.940 two months
01:23:58.500 in the ICU
01:23:59.180 and yeah
01:24:01.360 it was
01:24:01.700 it was
01:24:02.060 it's been a
01:24:02.820 wild year
01:24:03.340 for all of us
01:24:04.060 especially her
01:24:05.000 ATV deaths
01:24:06.200 happen to so
01:24:06.840 many people
01:24:07.360 yeah I don't
01:24:08.100 people don't
01:24:08.440 realize how
01:24:08.900 popular it is
01:24:09.800 I don't want
01:24:10.380 one of them 0.99
01:24:10.820 damn things 0.99
01:24:11.380 anywhere around 0.99
01:24:11.920 I'm not saying
01:24:12.260 we're getting
01:24:12.560 you one this
01:24:12.960 year
01:24:13.120 no please
01:24:13.580 don't
01:24:13.920 I'm just saying
01:24:14.140 I'll sell it
01:24:15.460 on eBay
01:24:15.860 yeah we can
01:24:18.620 yeah yeah
01:24:19.280 skip go
01:24:20.000 with that one
01:24:20.600 you know
01:24:21.020 that one can
01:24:21.840 go on to the
01:24:22.240 next
01:24:22.360 in the United
01:24:22.960 States
01:24:23.280 ATV related
01:24:24.060 deaths typically
01:24:24.480 range from
01:24:24.860 300 to 900
01:24:25.580 annually
01:24:26.180 but yeah
01:24:28.940 it's
01:24:29.360 I don't know
01:24:30.000 why we're even
01:24:30.500 talking about this
01:24:31.000 and I'm sorry
01:24:31.500 but I'm glad
01:24:32.340 to know that
01:24:32.840 she's doing well
01:24:33.600 when you guys
01:24:34.640 were young
01:24:35.040 what kind of
01:24:35.400 stuff was she
01:24:35.720 struggling with
01:24:36.360 stuff or
01:24:36.880 yeah yeah
01:24:38.520 she had a lot
01:24:39.340 of struggles
01:24:40.360 and
01:24:40.820 that young age
01:24:41.580 is so tough
01:24:42.100 can you imagine
01:24:42.840 that when your
01:24:43.660 mother can you
01:24:44.320 imagine like
01:24:45.460 when I was 22
01:24:46.140 I was just
01:24:46.720 concerned if I
01:24:47.520 had enough
01:24:48.060 you know time
01:24:49.480 it might a day 0.99
01:24:50.140 to jerk off 0.99
01:24:50.880 without somebody 1.00
01:24:51.380 bothering me
01:24:52.240 and here there
01:24:53.740 were people
01:24:54.200 feeding children
01:24:55.800 I mean she
01:24:57.500 had no business
01:24:58.340 having children
01:24:59.320 but yeah
01:25:00.520 they had these
01:25:01.240 you know
01:25:01.700 they very much
01:25:02.500 had these
01:25:02.940 children
01:25:03.280 and she was
01:25:04.780 going through
01:25:05.840 some really
01:25:06.540 tough stuff
01:25:07.260 and you know
01:25:09.040 like my dad
01:25:09.600 got custody
01:25:10.300 of us
01:25:10.800 which was kind
01:25:11.440 of rare
01:25:12.280 at the time
01:25:13.640 but I remember
01:25:14.660 hearing that song
01:25:15.720 and I was able
01:25:17.600 to put her
01:25:18.380 in that song
01:25:19.240 Yanni's daddy
01:25:20.400 it was like
01:25:20.960 and it didn't
01:25:21.380 make no sense
01:25:22.340 that you know
01:25:23.280 like why is my
01:25:23.980 mom in this song
01:25:25.340 she shouldn't be
01:25:26.060 like it doesn't
01:25:26.660 follow the storyline
01:25:27.680 oh but your
01:25:28.120 head put her
01:25:28.640 in there 0.97
01:25:28.780 but my head
01:25:29.360 put her in there 0.97
01:25:30.360 and I was able
01:25:30.860 to copy and paste
01:25:31.960 all of my emotions
01:25:33.220 into that song
01:25:34.360 and three and a half
01:25:35.680 minutes later
01:25:36.320 I was a wreck
01:25:37.960 like not because
01:25:39.960 of the song
01:25:40.900 but because of
01:25:41.640 my mom
01:25:42.380 being in the song
01:25:43.780 right
01:25:44.040 and I was like
01:25:45.240 okay that's
01:25:46.520 like to me
01:25:47.060 that's what
01:25:47.740 the wizardry
01:25:49.380 of songwriting
01:25:50.060 is
01:25:50.740 like Craig
01:25:51.260 Martin
01:25:51.600 and Larry
01:25:52.360 Johnson
01:25:52.800 wrote that
01:25:53.380 song
01:25:53.760 not knowing
01:25:55.200 that some
01:25:55.600 southern Indiana
01:25:56.280 boy was gonna
01:25:57.060 be like
01:25:58.000 you know
01:25:58.800 be balling
01:25:59.420 on a school
01:25:59.860 bus
01:26:00.260 with around
01:26:00.820 a bunch
01:26:01.100 of FFA
01:26:01.700 kids
01:26:02.200 wasn't a good
01:26:02.860 look
01:26:03.180 and um
01:26:04.100 yeah
01:26:04.420 and so
01:26:05.420 yeah I mean
01:26:06.540 that's really
01:26:07.260 what I
01:26:08.340 I mean
01:26:08.760 I would say
01:26:09.500 that was the
01:26:10.160 moment that I
01:26:10.900 really got
01:26:11.560 bitten by
01:26:12.940 or like
01:26:13.340 song bit
01:26:14.120 so to speak
01:26:14.920 because
01:26:15.840 I realized
01:26:17.600 that music
01:26:18.160 was more
01:26:19.040 than just
01:26:19.560 beats
01:26:20.040 and sounds
01:26:20.720 and making
01:26:21.220 words rhyme
01:26:22.100 it was literally
01:26:23.160 taking a
01:26:23.940 like
01:26:24.400 like taking
01:26:25.780 someone's life
01:26:26.660 and
01:26:27.340 making it
01:26:28.680 part of a
01:26:29.240 piece of art
01:26:29.860 and uh
01:26:30.720 wow
01:26:32.060 and that's
01:26:33.060 that's really
01:26:34.120 what a great
01:26:34.960 song does
01:26:35.820 and I think
01:26:36.880 the real great
01:26:38.440 songs out there
01:26:39.520 um
01:26:40.100 and
01:26:40.320 me as a
01:26:41.720 songwriter
01:26:42.180 the only thing
01:26:42.780 I've tried
01:26:43.420 to pay forward
01:26:44.320 was that
01:26:45.220 so when
01:26:45.780 so when you
01:26:45.940 said that
01:26:46.480 like I
01:26:46.840 was
01:26:46.980 you're able
01:26:48.080 to put
01:26:48.740 yourself
01:26:49.280 in those
01:26:49.860 songs
01:26:50.280 that's
01:26:50.640 really all
01:26:51.160 I've ever
01:26:51.560 hoped to
01:26:52.020 achieve
01:26:52.540 not so
01:26:53.240 much to
01:26:53.700 put
01:26:54.960 just put
01:26:55.640 myself
01:26:56.040 in those
01:26:56.560 songs
01:26:56.860 I want
01:26:57.260 to put
01:26:57.560 other people
01:26:58.160 in those
01:26:58.580 songs
01:26:58.860 and let
01:26:59.200 them be
01:26:59.800 the star
01:27:00.840 of it
01:27:01.240 not me
01:27:02.160 got it
01:27:02.900 and I
01:27:03.580 feel like
01:27:03.900 that's
01:27:04.280 if it's
01:27:05.540 if it's
01:27:06.000 anything
01:27:06.240 that's
01:27:07.260 what
01:27:07.940 how people
01:27:08.700 respond to
01:27:09.780 the music
01:27:10.240 it's about
01:27:10.940 them
01:27:11.400 it's
01:27:12.120 it has
01:27:12.860 nothing to
01:27:13.380 do with
01:27:13.740 me up
01:27:14.160 there
01:27:14.300 I'm just
01:27:14.640 a vessel
01:27:16.120 yeah
01:27:16.500 no I
01:27:17.960 think
01:27:18.160 and I
01:27:18.640 think
01:27:18.800 there's a
01:27:19.120 lot of
01:27:19.460 guys
01:27:19.780 that are
01:27:20.020 trying to
01:27:20.400 feel
01:27:20.840 I think
01:27:21.680 especially
01:27:22.020 for a lot
01:27:22.380 of young
01:27:22.740 men
01:27:23.040 it's been
01:27:23.340 like
01:27:23.560 there's a
01:27:24.760 lot of
01:27:24.980 feeling
01:27:25.500 and processing
01:27:26.340 that we've
01:27:27.320 missed
01:27:27.680 somehow
01:27:28.100 or we
01:27:28.960 haven't
01:27:29.320 found a
01:27:29.800 way to
01:27:30.180 do it
01:27:30.760 I think
01:27:31.680 it's the
01:27:32.600 same thing
01:27:33.020 that I
01:27:33.300 noticed
01:27:33.640 with some
01:27:34.180 of Red
01:27:34.840 Clay
01:27:35.040 Stray's
01:27:35.460 music
01:27:35.760 and it's
01:27:36.340 different
01:27:36.580 you guys
01:27:36.880 this stuff
01:27:37.180 is totally
01:27:37.580 different
01:27:37.960 but if you
01:27:38.740 go to their
01:27:39.220 show
01:27:39.640 they're
01:27:40.280 great
01:27:40.920 their show
01:27:41.820 it's a lot
01:27:42.400 of men
01:27:43.080 probably
01:27:44.040 kind of
01:27:44.680 adult men
01:27:45.480 who are
01:27:46.260 trying to
01:27:47.920 find ways
01:27:48.440 to process
01:27:48.960 stuff
01:27:49.560 that's what
01:27:50.520 I believe
01:27:50.980 anyway
01:27:51.400 and it's
01:27:53.720 interesting to
01:27:54.720 see that
01:27:55.140 it's interesting
01:27:55.620 to see
01:27:55.960 where do we
01:27:56.880 go to
01:27:57.120 process
01:27:57.480 stuff
01:27:57.860 and how
01:27:58.180 do we
01:27:58.440 do it
01:27:58.900 and yeah
01:28:00.160 I think
01:28:00.380 your music
01:28:00.720 does a lot
01:28:01.200 of that
01:28:01.380 for people
01:28:01.900 yeah
01:28:02.820 and that's
01:28:03.680 why I was
01:28:04.000 saying that
01:28:04.660 yeah
01:28:05.380 it would be
01:28:06.080 hard for you
01:28:06.460 to write
01:28:06.780 for somebody
01:28:07.260 which makes
01:28:07.800 it a little
01:28:08.260 bit tougher
01:28:08.720 to have a
01:28:09.100 career in
01:28:09.600 some ways
01:28:10.200 because you
01:28:11.020 don't have
01:28:11.360 like
01:28:11.660 you're you
01:28:14.360 and you
01:28:16.020 can write
01:28:16.380 some songs
01:28:16.980 but man
01:28:18.400 your stuff
01:28:19.440 is so
01:28:19.840 personal
01:28:20.600 it feels
01:28:21.180 like
01:28:21.560 to your
01:28:22.400 brain
01:28:22.960 and perspective
01:28:24.220 and attitude
01:28:24.720 that
01:28:25.220 it'd be hard
01:28:26.120 for a regular
01:28:26.540 foot to fit
01:28:27.160 into it
01:28:27.660 you know
01:28:27.980 yeah
01:28:28.660 that was
01:28:29.100 the challenge
01:28:30.280 you know
01:28:31.060 like there's
01:28:31.520 you know
01:28:32.700 this sounds
01:28:33.360 so much
01:28:33.860 like you
01:28:34.540 that was
01:28:35.340 right
01:28:35.800 and you know
01:28:36.760 but at the same
01:28:37.480 hurts at the
01:28:38.020 time
01:28:38.240 because you're
01:28:38.420 like well 1.00
01:28:38.700 fuck 1.00
01:28:39.020 I'm just 1.00
01:28:39.300 trying to do
01:28:39.880 this
01:28:40.060 but then
01:28:40.820 in the end
01:28:41.400 it's like
01:28:41.900 oh well
01:28:42.780 I'm the
01:28:43.240 I'm the
01:28:44.460 instrument
01:28:44.880 yeah
01:28:45.540 and that just
01:28:46.840 takes you
01:28:47.280 out
01:28:47.460 and then
01:28:48.080 that's a
01:28:48.460 that's a gift
01:28:49.920 that you are
01:28:50.660 because if you
01:28:51.860 had found this
01:28:52.480 other avenue
01:28:53.060 that was
01:28:53.440 for songwriting
01:28:54.160 and I know
01:28:54.580 you've had
01:28:54.820 some success
01:28:55.280 in it
01:28:55.600 but if you
01:28:56.080 found this
01:28:56.700 other avenue
01:28:57.080 that was
01:28:57.400 hugely
01:28:58.000 successful
01:28:58.580 then you
01:28:59.260 may not
01:28:59.620 have continued
01:29:00.080 to nurture
01:29:01.340 or the energy
01:29:02.320 may not have
01:29:02.820 been on the
01:29:03.160 seed
01:29:03.440 that was
01:29:03.820 you
01:29:04.080 you know
01:29:04.420 the sunlight
01:29:04.820 might have
01:29:05.200 not focused
01:29:05.720 on you
01:29:06.080 to keep
01:29:06.880 that ground
01:29:07.240 honestly
01:29:07.540 if my dad
01:29:08.240 was still alive
01:29:09.080 I mean
01:29:09.360 none of this
01:29:09.960 would have
01:29:10.280 happened
01:29:10.600 I mean
01:29:11.760 really
01:29:12.040 you know
01:29:13.400 I'd probably
01:29:13.920 be just
01:29:14.560 writing songs
01:29:15.240 trying to get
01:29:15.920 cuts
01:29:16.300 and probably
01:29:16.840 still failing
01:29:18.400 at it
01:29:18.980 and
01:29:19.300 yeah
01:29:20.000 your dad
01:29:20.280 would be
01:29:20.480 selling merch
01:29:21.040 for you
01:29:21.320 it'd be nice
01:29:21.760 huh
01:29:21.980 yeah
01:29:22.460 he might
01:29:22.860 he would
01:29:23.560 and he would
01:29:23.960 still be there
01:29:24.640 with his
01:29:24.980 giant phone
01:29:25.720 probably
01:29:26.280 recording every
01:29:27.780 bit of it
01:29:28.340 proud as hell
01:29:29.160 man
01:29:30.020 my
01:29:30.280 my
01:29:31.000 I was just
01:29:32.020 thinking about
01:29:32.300 my dad
01:29:32.560 so my dad
01:29:32.880 was very old
01:29:33.420 when I was
01:29:33.780 born
01:29:34.060 and so I
01:29:34.540 remember
01:29:34.960 like
01:29:35.260 I was ashamed
01:29:36.960 of my dad
01:29:37.600 so I had a lot
01:29:38.140 of shame
01:29:38.680 about him
01:29:39.480 you know
01:29:39.940 but I grew up
01:29:40.680 in a lot of
01:29:41.100 fear too
01:29:41.600 in our household
01:29:42.200 like my sister
01:29:42.820 was real sick
01:29:43.500 and so I was
01:29:43.880 always scared
01:29:44.500 that she was
01:29:44.920 going to pass
01:29:45.400 away
01:29:45.700 and then my
01:29:46.500 dad was old
01:29:47.540 so he was
01:29:48.280 in his 70s
01:29:48.900 when I got to
01:29:49.380 know him
01:29:49.700 so I was
01:29:49.980 always afraid
01:29:50.500 he was going
01:29:50.880 to pass away
01:29:51.420 so it was
01:29:52.080 like this
01:29:52.440 constant thing
01:29:53.440 of like
01:29:53.980 you know
01:29:56.120 it just felt
01:29:56.840 like somebody
01:29:57.360 was just
01:29:57.680 going dang
01:29:58.100 dah
01:29:58.540 you know
01:29:59.140 so it made
01:30:00.040 everything
01:30:00.520 kind of dour
01:30:01.360 I think
01:30:02.980 or
01:30:03.300 I don't know
01:30:04.640 it made it
01:30:05.300 like the
01:30:05.680 perspective
01:30:06.320 was dim
01:30:07.320 that's what
01:30:08.100 it was
01:30:08.460 and my brother
01:30:09.260 would mess
01:30:09.620 with me
01:30:09.760 he'd come
01:30:10.060 in the room
01:30:10.320 and he'd be
01:30:10.840 like dude
01:30:11.180 dad's dead
01:30:12.040 and I'm like
01:30:12.860 what
01:30:13.220 he'd be like
01:30:14.240 go in there
01:30:14.700 dude
01:30:14.960 go in there
01:30:15.580 right now
01:30:15.960 and my dad
01:30:16.440 would fall
01:30:16.760 asleep all the
01:30:17.200 time
01:30:17.360 because he
01:30:17.620 was like
01:30:17.900 76 or 77
01:30:19.260 and those
01:30:20.460 people like
01:30:20.780 to sleep
01:30:21.160 a decent
01:30:21.480 amount
01:30:21.720 during the
01:30:22.040 day
01:30:22.340 and
01:30:23.500 I don't
01:30:24.280 know if
01:30:24.400 he'd be
01:30:24.700 asleep
01:30:24.980 or he'd be
01:30:25.460 laying there
01:30:25.880 with his eyes
01:30:26.360 closed
01:30:26.620 a lot of
01:30:27.780 old people 0.85
01:30:28.240 are like
01:30:28.480 I'm awake
01:30:29.020 I'm at work
01:30:29.700 I'm married
01:30:31.900 they're not
01:30:33.200 forgetting
01:30:33.660 the things
01:30:34.060 that are
01:30:34.220 important
01:30:34.620 but I would
01:30:36.700 go up
01:30:37.300 and I would
01:30:38.140 have to go
01:30:38.580 and he would
01:30:39.220 be alive
01:30:40.060 and I would
01:30:41.080 be like 1.00
01:30:41.380 fuck you 1.00
01:30:42.060 you're full 1.00
01:30:42.400 of shit 1.00
01:30:42.740 so then 1.00
01:30:43.600 it got to
01:30:44.060 this weird
01:30:44.600 part where
01:30:45.320 my brother
01:30:45.840 would come
01:30:46.100 in the room
01:30:46.320 and he'd be
01:30:46.480 like dude
01:30:46.740 dad's dead
01:30:47.340 and I'm like
01:30:48.740 dude
01:30:48.980 he better be 1.00
01:30:50.660 dead when I 1.00
01:30:51.200 go in there
01:30:51.740 or I'm 0.54
01:30:53.540 gonna beat 1.00
01:30:54.120 your ass 1.00
01:30:54.800 so it 1.00
01:30:56.260 became
01:30:56.640 and it
01:30:57.160 flipped
01:30:57.640 this whole
01:30:58.120 perspective
01:30:58.680 of like
01:30:59.040 what was
01:30:59.440 normal
01:30:59.820 in the
01:31:00.080 world
01:31:00.300 so my
01:31:00.920 friends
01:31:01.200 would be
01:31:01.360 like dude
01:31:01.760 what do
01:31:02.020 you mean
01:31:02.260 he better 1.00
01:31:02.660 be dead 1.00
01:31:03.120 fight your 1.00
01:31:04.380 brother
01:31:04.800 you know
01:31:05.460 but no
01:31:05.720 he does
01:31:06.040 this all
01:31:06.300 the time
01:31:06.640 dude
01:31:06.920 he's not
01:31:07.380 freaking
01:31:07.640 dead 0.98
01:31:08.000 you were
01:31:08.560 like
01:31:08.860 I don't
01:31:10.000 know
01:31:10.160 you were
01:31:10.540 combating
01:31:11.160 the dark
01:31:11.620 arts
01:31:11.960 with other
01:31:12.560 dark
01:31:12.880 arts
01:31:13.320 yeah
01:31:13.640 or my
01:31:13.920 mom
01:31:14.100 would be
01:31:14.240 like go
01:31:14.440 spend
01:31:14.580 time
01:31:14.740 with your
01:31:14.940 dad
01:31:15.120 because
01:31:15.260 he's
01:31:15.360 probably
01:31:15.520 gonna 0.99
01:31:15.660 die 0.99
01:31:15.920 soon 0.87
01:31:16.180 and he'd
01:31:16.360 like all
01:31:16.780 right
01:31:17.140 you know 1.00
01:31:17.680 and shit 0.96
01:31:18.580 like that 0.99
01:31:19.020 but she was 0.91
01:31:19.420 just doing
01:31:19.740 this to get
01:31:20.140 us out
01:31:20.420 of the room
01:31:20.720 so she could
01:31:21.100 tidy up
01:31:21.500 or something
01:31:21.700 you know
01:31:21.840 some trick
01:31:22.360 but it was
01:31:23.400 just weird 0.99
01:31:23.940 shit 0.97
01:31:24.380 you know 1.00
01:31:24.840 and so
01:31:25.340 and it was
01:31:26.180 true too
01:31:26.780 he probably
01:31:27.100 was gonna
01:31:27.440 die soon
01:31:27.780 so I was
01:31:28.000 like well
01:31:28.460 get in there
01:31:28.980 and spend
01:31:29.260 some time
01:31:29.700 with him
01:31:29.900 or draw
01:31:30.180 a picture
01:31:30.540 of him
01:31:30.980 we probably
01:31:31.540 have like
01:31:31.840 70 pictures
01:31:32.560 of him
01:31:32.740 we drew
01:31:32.940 of crayons
01:31:33.620 but if she'd
01:31:34.700 like go in
01:31:35.080 there and draw
01:31:35.420 a picture
01:31:35.760 of him
01:31:36.060 you know
01:31:36.220 you're gonna
01:31:36.520 want it
01:31:37.140 you know
01:31:37.480 and it's
01:31:37.740 horrible
01:31:38.140 pictures
01:31:38.600 you know
01:31:39.080 and sometimes
01:31:39.920 we'd draw him
01:31:40.480 like as a 0.93
01:31:40.840 black guy
01:31:41.380 just like 0.93
01:31:41.760 you know
01:31:42.600 just like
01:31:42.920 cause it would
01:31:43.240 seem more
01:31:43.600 exciting
01:31:43.960 or whatever
01:31:44.360 but
01:31:44.700 were you
01:31:45.880 quiet
01:31:46.780 as a kid
01:31:47.500 no
01:31:48.420 I don't
01:31:48.800 think that I
01:31:49.320 was
01:31:49.760 I think I
01:31:50.260 was like
01:31:50.580 kind of
01:31:50.880 curious
01:31:51.520 and I
01:31:53.460 like to
01:31:53.860 make
01:31:54.200 excitement
01:31:54.800 somehow
01:31:55.420 like I
01:31:56.700 like to
01:31:57.020 create
01:31:57.320 ambiance
01:31:57.860 for things
01:31:58.660 but I
01:32:02.180 think I
01:32:02.460 was probably
01:32:02.900 I don't
01:32:03.240 know
01:32:03.320 my mom
01:32:03.680 says she
01:32:04.060 didn't
01:32:04.260 tend to
01:32:04.560 me
01:32:04.640 that much
01:32:05.000 because
01:32:05.400 it seemed
01:32:06.200 like I
01:32:06.480 was doing
01:32:06.780 fine
01:32:07.220 so she
01:32:08.400 didn't
01:32:08.560 think I
01:32:08.800 needed
01:32:08.960 like
01:32:09.120 a lot
01:32:09.340 of
01:32:09.420 attention
01:32:09.760 because
01:32:10.020 she
01:32:10.140 felt
01:32:10.360 like
01:32:10.480 I
01:32:10.560 was
01:32:10.680 doing
01:32:10.900 okay
01:32:11.320 you know
01:32:11.980 cause
01:32:12.860 we've
01:32:13.040 had
01:32:13.160 like
01:32:13.280 some
01:32:13.420 conversations
01:32:13.900 about
01:32:14.220 that
01:32:14.440 stuff
01:32:14.820 but yeah
01:32:16.620 I
01:32:16.740 think
01:32:16.940 that was
01:32:17.360 a big
01:32:17.620 regret
01:32:17.920 I
01:32:18.120 had
01:32:18.320 was
01:32:18.480 that
01:32:18.620 I
01:32:38.400 I
01:32:39.260 was
01:32:39.520 yeah
01:32:40.140 they
01:32:42.220 yeah
01:32:42.440 they
01:32:42.580 were
01:32:42.700 just
01:32:42.880 kind
01:32:43.080 of
01:32:43.240 totally
01:32:43.760 different
01:32:44.280 perspectives
01:32:45.280 to think
01:32:45.840 about
01:32:46.080 like my
01:32:46.380 dad was
01:32:46.720 like a
01:32:47.000 child
01:32:47.360 like honestly
01:32:47.960 like a
01:32:48.340 big brother
01:32:48.900 really
01:32:49.440 a lot
01:32:49.680 of ways
01:32:50.040 because he
01:32:50.620 was only
01:32:50.940 18 years
01:32:51.720 older than
01:32:52.260 me
01:32:52.420 oh yeah
01:32:52.680 that's
01:32:52.840 pretty
01:32:52.960 normal
01:32:53.280 I mean
01:32:53.620 I was
01:32:53.940 like
01:32:54.200 there's
01:32:55.360 actually
01:32:55.600 siblings
01:32:56.840 out there
01:32:57.480 that are
01:32:57.760 like 15
01:32:58.440 years older
01:32:59.680 than their
01:33:00.240 siblings
01:33:00.720 you know
01:33:01.240 yeah
01:33:01.680 so
01:33:03.100 yeah I
01:33:04.680 mean
01:33:04.820 that
01:33:05.060 that had
01:33:05.780 to be
01:33:06.140 that had
01:33:06.640 to be
01:33:06.860 tough
01:33:07.180 I find
01:33:07.800 that
01:33:08.060 people
01:33:08.500 that are
01:33:08.920 that's
01:33:09.740 why I
01:33:10.040 asked
01:33:10.320 you know
01:33:10.560 people
01:33:10.800 that are
01:33:11.320 spending
01:33:11.760 I know
01:33:12.460 I've
01:33:12.780 I spent
01:33:13.240 my whole
01:33:13.740 childhood
01:33:14.100 in a
01:33:14.460 state
01:33:14.760 of
01:33:15.000 fear
01:33:15.680 of
01:33:15.860 loss
01:33:16.260 fear
01:33:16.700 of
01:33:16.840 losing
01:33:17.220 someone
01:33:17.920 really
01:33:18.780 unlosable
01:33:19.520 at that
01:33:20.040 time
01:33:20.400 like
01:33:20.840 what would
01:33:21.140 make
01:33:21.320 that
01:33:21.520 happen
01:33:21.800 it is
01:33:22.040 such a
01:33:22.380 oh
01:33:22.560 because
01:33:22.660 your mom
01:33:22.960 being
01:33:23.080 my mom
01:33:23.680 yeah
01:33:23.940 I was
01:33:24.220 like
01:33:24.420 losing
01:33:25.420 her
01:33:25.680 was not
01:33:26.380 like
01:33:27.720 something
01:33:28.300 I was
01:33:28.740 willing
01:33:29.120 to bear
01:33:30.020 but it
01:33:30.680 seemed
01:33:31.040 like
01:33:31.240 it
01:33:31.360 was
01:33:31.620 inevitable
01:33:32.560 like
01:33:33.300 something
01:33:33.680 that
01:33:33.880 was
01:33:34.080 like
01:33:34.320 just
01:33:34.620 around
01:33:35.120 the
01:33:35.320 corner
01:33:35.580 too
01:33:35.900 so
01:33:36.180 like
01:33:36.420 it
01:33:36.560 made
01:33:36.780 me
01:33:36.940 like
01:33:37.140 retreat
01:33:37.620 as a
01:33:38.100 kid
01:33:38.340 it
01:33:38.460 made
01:33:38.620 me
01:33:38.760 like
01:33:38.980 really
01:33:39.380 quiet
01:33:39.880 and
01:33:40.440 observe
01:33:41.040 it
01:33:41.240 like
01:33:41.520 observe
01:33:41.940 everything
01:33:42.500 you gotta
01:33:42.700 make sure
01:33:42.960 everything's
01:33:43.200 okay
01:33:43.500 yeah
01:33:44.000 and keep
01:33:45.000 my mouth
01:33:45.460 shut
01:33:45.860 because
01:33:46.220 I didn't
01:33:47.240 want to
01:33:47.540 say
01:33:47.860 something
01:33:48.320 or
01:33:48.760 you know
01:33:49.360 that could 0.68
01:33:50.900 cost me
01:33:51.320 her
01:33:51.540 yeah
01:33:52.120 it could
01:33:52.300 cost
01:33:52.600 me
01:33:52.760 her
01:33:53.100 or
01:33:53.580 you know
01:33:55.980 I didn't
01:33:56.720 want to
01:33:57.140 draw
01:33:57.440 attention
01:33:57.860 to it
01:33:59.340 or speak
01:33:59.820 anything
01:34:00.380 into existence
01:34:01.300 about it
01:34:02.160 and
01:34:03.520 and I
01:34:04.060 didn't want
01:34:04.400 anybody to
01:34:05.080 know about
01:34:05.500 it either
01:34:05.880 so it
01:34:06.420 was like
01:34:06.680 my own
01:34:07.000 little
01:34:07.260 you know
01:34:08.460 my own
01:34:08.780 little
01:34:08.940 thing
01:34:09.340 and my
01:34:10.160 dad
01:34:10.440 didn't
01:34:10.740 know
01:34:11.140 about
01:34:11.780 a lot
01:34:12.300 of her
01:34:12.740 what she
01:34:14.360 was going
01:34:15.180 through
01:34:15.520 with her
01:34:16.140 other
01:34:16.920 husbands
01:34:17.400 like
01:34:17.800 that was
01:34:18.380 something
01:34:18.640 that I
01:34:19.020 knew
01:34:19.240 about
01:34:19.580 yeah
01:34:20.200 and
01:34:20.720 that was
01:34:21.680 a tough
01:34:22.740 secret
01:34:23.120 to carry
01:34:23.980 because
01:34:25.300 you know
01:34:27.220 it was
01:34:27.760 you know
01:34:28.440 he would
01:34:28.700 have never
01:34:29.140 he wouldn't
01:34:30.280 have wanted
01:34:30.660 me around
01:34:31.180 that
01:34:31.540 and
01:34:31.940 God knows
01:34:33.100 what he
01:34:33.360 would have
01:34:33.580 done
01:34:33.800 to those
01:34:34.120 dudes
01:34:35.160 and he
01:34:35.760 probably
01:34:35.980 would have
01:34:36.220 killed 1.00
01:34:36.460 them 1.00
01:34:36.620 or
01:34:36.800 something
01:34:37.080 so I
01:34:38.180 was always
01:34:38.780 worried
01:34:39.160 I was always
01:34:39.580 trying to
01:34:39.960 protect my
01:34:40.460 dad
01:34:40.800 from himself
01:34:41.520 and I was
01:34:41.900 trying to
01:34:42.180 protect my
01:34:42.640 mom
01:34:42.940 from herself
01:34:43.680 it made
01:34:44.300 me grow up
01:34:44.920 real quick
01:34:45.500 and I bet
01:34:46.320 your dad's
01:34:47.120 situation
01:34:47.600 probably made
01:34:48.320 you grow up
01:34:48.880 quicker
01:34:49.180 it makes you
01:34:49.520 aware
01:34:49.980 that's the
01:34:50.520 thing
01:34:50.700 the worst
01:34:51.300 thing to be
01:34:51.680 as a young
01:34:52.340 kid in some
01:34:52.860 ways
01:34:53.180 it's just so
01:34:54.120 aware
01:34:54.600 because you're
01:34:55.400 living on this
01:34:55.840 different timeline
01:34:56.660 you're living on
01:34:57.400 this other
01:34:57.840 thing
01:34:58.360 it's good to
01:34:58.860 be oblivious
01:34:59.660 in those
01:35:00.060 years
01:35:00.420 and really 0.99
01:35:02.100 ignorant 0.79
01:35:02.580 to the pain 1.00
01:35:03.780 and the
01:35:05.000 magnitude
01:35:05.520 that is the
01:35:06.940 weight of
01:35:07.360 loss
01:35:07.800 as a kid
01:35:08.420 we insulate
01:35:09.880 and protect
01:35:10.460 children from
01:35:11.680 that
01:35:12.000 we don't even
01:35:12.880 bring them to
01:35:13.440 funerals
01:35:13.960 because we
01:35:14.400 don't want
01:35:14.840 them to
01:35:15.180 see
01:35:15.500 that's
01:35:16.700 something
01:35:16.900 my dad
01:35:17.420 I gotta
01:35:17.660 say
01:35:17.960 I gotta
01:35:18.120 give him
01:35:18.420 a lot
01:35:18.620 of credit
01:35:19.040 because I've
01:35:19.660 seen people
01:35:21.460 die
01:35:21.940 from a young
01:35:23.280 age
01:35:23.500 from grandparents
01:35:24.160 to family
01:35:24.700 members
01:35:25.060 he would
01:35:25.520 bring me
01:35:26.120 to funerals
01:35:26.800 probably
01:35:27.100 because he
01:35:27.400 couldn't
01:35:27.600 find a
01:35:27.920 babysitter
01:35:28.420 what's he
01:35:28.940 gonna do
01:35:29.240 get a
01:35:29.660 babysitter
01:35:30.140 or have
01:35:31.000 us wait
01:35:31.300 in the
01:35:31.460 car
01:35:31.580 he's
01:35:31.720 like
01:35:31.820 no
01:35:32.000 you're
01:35:32.240 gonna
01:35:32.380 come
01:35:32.720 and
01:35:33.540 look
01:35:33.740 at
01:35:33.900 this
01:35:34.120 dead
01:35:34.400 body 0.65
01:35:34.680 you're
01:35:34.960 gonna
01:35:35.040 see
01:35:35.380 this
01:35:35.700 dead
01:35:36.100 person
01:35:36.520 because
01:35:37.000 one day
01:35:37.700 it
01:35:37.960 could
01:35:38.240 be
01:35:38.400 me
01:35:38.780 my dad
01:35:39.700 would drop
01:35:40.300 us off
01:35:40.660 at funerals
01:35:41.260 in our
01:35:41.700 town
01:35:41.960 in order
01:35:43.960 to get
01:35:44.660 time away
01:35:45.260 from
01:35:45.520 he dropped
01:35:46.260 me off
01:35:46.660 at two
01:35:46.980 funerals
01:35:47.380 in our
01:35:47.620 town
01:35:47.840 that I
01:35:48.060 didn't
01:35:48.180 know
01:35:48.340 anybody
01:35:48.980 at
01:35:49.440 and he
01:35:49.980 would
01:35:50.060 take
01:35:50.180 us
01:35:50.300 to leave
01:35:57.100 we ate
01:35:57.660 like 11
01:35:58.140 french toast
01:35:58.740 sticks
01:35:58.920 that people
01:35:59.360 gave us
01:36:00.180 and they
01:36:00.980 don't even
01:36:01.160 have a
01:36:01.380 play place
01:36:01.820 he enjoyed
01:36:02.560 the play
01:36:02.980 place
01:36:03.240 and he
01:36:03.640 was like
01:36:03.780 it's the
01:36:04.120 wrong one
01:36:05.260 Burger King 1.00
01:36:06.340 doesn't have
01:36:07.040 it dude
01:36:07.260 they don't
01:36:07.440 have it
01:36:07.740 everywhere
01:36:08.100 so this
01:36:08.840 lady named
01:36:09.220 Miss Wanda
01:36:09.540 she was
01:36:09.860 always like
01:36:10.380 the lady 0.95
01:36:10.640 that would
01:36:10.880 take care
01:36:11.300 of us
01:36:11.520 in there
01:36:11.860 and we
01:36:12.680 would just
01:36:12.960 drink those
01:36:13.560 syrups
01:36:13.980 when people
01:36:14.320 left
01:36:14.640 but we'd
01:36:15.200 be at 0.99
01:36:15.380 the fucking 1.00
01:36:15.740 Burger King 1.00
01:36:16.260 for like
01:36:16.660 eight hours
01:36:17.440 talking to
01:36:18.000 people
01:36:18.300 me and
01:36:18.920 my sisters
01:36:19.460 and it
01:36:19.740 would just
01:36:19.900 be bizarre
01:36:20.780 but you'd
01:36:21.660 end up in 1.00
01:36:22.080 bizarre shit 0.99
01:36:23.040 like that 0.98
01:36:23.640 you know
01:36:24.060 my dad
01:36:24.940 would take
01:36:25.280 he'd be like
01:36:25.620 driving me
01:36:25.960 over to the
01:36:26.200 post office
01:36:26.620 because I
01:36:26.880 was kind
01:36:27.140 of tall
01:36:27.580 when I was
01:36:28.960 10 or 11
01:36:29.640 maybe 12
01:36:30.220 so I'd drive
01:36:31.080 him over 0.71
01:36:31.320 there but I
01:36:31.560 didn't have a
01:36:31.780 driver's license
01:36:32.260 or anything
01:36:32.720 and there'd be
01:36:33.240 no parking
01:36:33.660 spots
01:36:33.960 he'd be like
01:36:34.160 well just do
01:36:34.780 a couple laps
01:36:35.220 around the
01:36:35.460 block while
01:36:35.760 I'm in
01:36:36.060 here
01:36:36.320 and I'd be
01:36:37.380 like
01:36:37.540 and there was
01:36:38.680 this huge
01:36:39.040 cutlass
01:36:39.480 as Delta 88
01:36:40.100 and so I was
01:36:40.420 like I can't 1.00
01:36:40.840 drive this bitch 1.00
01:36:41.340 and he didn't 1.00
01:36:41.620 have power
01:36:41.840 steering
01:36:42.120 dude I would 0.90
01:36:43.320 hit and the
01:36:43.840 car was so
01:36:44.300 banged up 0.99
01:36:44.700 I'd fucking 0.99
01:36:52.080 there was no 0.98
01:36:53.560 like mirrors
01:36:54.580 there was no
01:36:55.340 there was no
01:36:56.660 mirrors for sure
01:36:57.360 after I hit
01:36:57.840 the street
01:36:58.140 but there was
01:36:58.600 no cameras
01:37:00.320 nobody knew
01:37:00.880 what had
01:37:01.200 happened you
01:37:01.700 know and I
01:37:02.200 would just be
01:37:02.640 in there and
01:37:02.940 if dad had to
01:37:03.520 wait to buy
01:37:03.920 stamps I'd be
01:37:04.680 out there 0.99
01:37:05.060 I'd fucking 1.00
01:37:05.720 hit 50 cars 0.99
01:37:06.720 dude but
01:37:08.160 dude it was
01:37:08.680 just you would
01:37:09.280 be in crazy
01:37:10.280 scenarios odd
01:37:12.360 environments put
01:37:13.040 you in crazy
01:37:13.660 scenarios that
01:37:14.960 other people
01:37:15.360 couldn't fathom
01:37:16.060 and then it
01:37:16.500 would just kind
01:37:16.960 of get your
01:37:17.580 brain to like
01:37:18.160 a different
01:37:18.500 place so your
01:37:19.680 brain was kind
01:37:20.140 of operating in
01:37:21.040 some wild
01:37:21.580 territory one
01:37:23.640 of the things
01:37:24.000 you said yeah
01:37:26.120 yeah I wonder
01:37:26.660 how many kids
01:37:27.220 are quiet
01:37:27.720 because there
01:37:28.280 are they
01:37:29.200 they're worried
01:37:29.920 if they just
01:37:30.900 talk if they
01:37:31.620 affect the world
01:37:33.200 in some way
01:37:34.020 that it could
01:37:35.220 alter it that
01:37:35.900 they could you
01:37:37.160 know because when
01:37:38.000 you're a child
01:37:38.560 things are very
01:37:39.140 balanced in your
01:37:39.860 head like I
01:37:40.260 remember I would
01:37:41.120 swallow on both
01:37:41.900 sides of my
01:37:42.340 mouth I would
01:37:43.160 be careful how I
01:37:43.840 stepped if I
01:37:44.920 counted one I
01:37:45.780 had to count one
01:37:46.500 on the other
01:37:46.900 side of my
01:37:47.360 brain I always
01:37:47.940 had like these
01:37:48.400 two sides inside
01:37:49.340 of me and I
01:37:50.220 have like one
01:37:50.520 over here one
01:37:51.020 over here like
01:37:51.540 these little
01:37:51.880 things I had
01:37:52.340 to do right
01:37:52.960 and um I
01:37:54.420 did the same
01:37:54.920 thing yeah
01:37:55.660 ticks little
01:37:56.720 ticks and it
01:37:57.500 was because I
01:37:57.980 had to keep
01:37:58.420 things even
01:37:59.080 everything had
01:38:00.100 to be even
01:38:00.840 and so I
01:38:01.400 wonder how
01:38:01.940 many times
01:38:02.500 kids operate
01:38:03.080 in this space
01:38:03.580 where it's like
01:38:04.040 I just can't
01:38:05.480 affect anything
01:38:06.140 too much
01:38:06.680 because things
01:38:08.220 as far as I
01:38:09.020 recognize them
01:38:09.760 are already
01:38:10.380 like kind of
01:38:11.080 on a on a
01:38:12.500 uncertain
01:38:13.560 fulcrum on a
01:38:14.440 one-footed
01:38:15.020 fulcrum and
01:38:15.540 it's gonna get
01:38:16.000 weird you know
01:38:16.760 um no I
01:38:18.320 think you
01:38:18.760 you just
01:38:20.440 hit you hit
01:38:21.060 the nail on
01:38:21.620 the head right
01:38:22.160 there it's
01:38:22.700 interesting
01:38:23.000 yeah I
01:38:24.340 think that
01:38:24.700 was I
01:38:25.780 think you
01:38:26.220 articulated it
01:38:27.180 far better than
01:38:28.160 I did or
01:38:29.100 could have
01:38:30.100 yeah you're
01:38:31.320 afraid to
01:38:32.580 affect the
01:38:33.180 world because
01:38:33.820 yes you
01:38:34.720 might change
01:38:35.780 it for the
01:38:36.260 worse so like
01:38:37.280 I'm gonna stay
01:38:37.960 Switzerland and
01:38:39.200 keep my mouth
01:38:39.820 shut yeah and
01:38:41.000 I did that for
01:38:41.740 most of my
01:38:42.660 childhood and
01:38:44.000 then but then
01:38:45.920 a lot of the
01:38:46.480 world happens
01:38:47.000 inside of you
01:38:47.720 then yeah if
01:38:48.640 it's not
01:38:48.940 happening inside
01:38:49.480 of you a lot
01:38:49.820 of the
01:38:49.980 conversations
01:38:50.520 and stuff they
01:38:50.980 happen inside
01:38:51.600 of you yeah
01:38:52.320 which is
01:38:52.700 interesting yeah
01:38:53.860 and it's I
01:38:54.640 think it can be
01:38:55.180 painful and scary
01:38:56.360 but also kind of
01:38:57.680 fascinating it
01:38:59.700 allows you to
01:39:00.320 be by yourself
01:39:01.420 a lot and
01:39:02.860 and it it
01:39:04.520 teaches you and
01:39:05.420 trains you to
01:39:06.060 be alone and
01:39:07.280 thrive and
01:39:07.960 loneliness and
01:39:08.940 if there's
01:39:09.340 anything or
01:39:10.100 like with
01:39:10.420 boxing song
01:39:11.540 writing I'm
01:39:12.240 assuming comedy
01:39:13.040 there's a lot
01:39:14.940 of loneliness to
01:39:15.960 it you got to
01:39:16.720 be inside your
01:39:17.580 own head a lot
01:39:18.820 in order to do
01:39:20.280 it properly
01:39:21.480 like it's not
01:39:22.500 like you know
01:39:23.180 you just go up
01:39:23.720 and play a
01:39:24.900 baseball game
01:39:25.720 and hit a
01:39:26.380 homer and
01:39:27.520 then you know
01:39:28.060 it's it's this
01:39:28.740 it's this thing
01:39:29.560 you got to
01:39:30.000 stay in all
01:39:30.960 the time yeah
01:39:31.800 it's not event
01:39:33.620 based it's it's
01:39:35.300 just kind of
01:39:35.860 this state of
01:39:37.120 mentality and
01:39:38.520 that's a good
01:39:38.760 point especially
01:39:39.260 with boxing
01:39:39.760 because boxing
01:39:40.520 most of it is
01:39:41.260 the training
01:39:41.860 yeah the fights
01:39:43.020 are very rare
01:39:43.740 yeah the fights
01:39:45.280 are rare and
01:39:46.020 short compared to
01:39:47.000 the training so
01:39:47.760 your father was
01:39:48.680 a boxer how
01:39:49.840 did he get into
01:39:51.360 it do you know
01:39:52.360 how yeah
01:39:53.520 well he started
01:39:55.440 probably a year
01:39:57.720 before I was
01:39:58.380 born he saw
01:40:00.360 Muhammad Ali
01:40:01.180 fight
01:40:02.360 Muhammad Ali
01:40:03.560 was like his
01:40:04.140 hero hero
01:40:05.000 he's from
01:40:06.540 Louisville Kentucky
01:40:07.240 so very
01:40:07.880 almost like a
01:40:08.840 local dude
01:40:10.280 too
01:40:10.620 and my dad
01:40:12.900 just idolized
01:40:13.960 him he just
01:40:15.140 watched all his
01:40:16.300 fights loved
01:40:17.280 everything about
01:40:18.120 him in and out
01:40:19.280 of the ring
01:40:19.700 and I think
01:40:24.000 yeah he was
01:40:24.560 just really
01:40:24.960 inspired by
01:40:25.700 Ali's story
01:40:26.540 and he
01:40:28.020 literally just
01:40:28.820 wanted to start
01:40:29.860 boxing and I
01:40:31.580 think the movie
01:40:32.200 Rocky probably
01:40:32.940 just came out
01:40:33.640 around that time
01:40:34.380 too I bet that
01:40:35.320 probably had
01:40:35.760 something to do
01:40:36.320 with it
01:40:36.580 a lot of
01:40:37.080 whites got 0.51
01:40:37.500 caught up in 0.97
01:40:38.000 that
01:40:38.280 yep and
01:40:39.120 but I think
01:40:41.100 with the
01:40:41.440 combination of
01:40:42.120 Muhammad Ali
01:40:42.800 and Rocky
01:40:43.520 Balboa
01:40:44.160 yeah my dad
01:40:46.520 said hey I
01:40:47.620 want to put on
01:40:48.200 some gloves
01:40:48.800 and before
01:40:49.840 he knew it
01:40:50.460 he was
01:40:51.120 he was
01:40:51.820 fighting
01:40:52.140 and he
01:40:53.940 started on
01:40:54.560 his own
01:40:54.940 just like
01:40:55.580 literally
01:40:56.120 fighting anybody
01:40:57.140 like signing
01:40:57.880 up for
01:40:58.440 tough man
01:40:59.620 competitions
01:41:00.280 and then he
01:41:01.020 ended up
01:41:01.360 finding this
01:41:01.900 great gym
01:41:02.780 up in
01:41:03.760 Indianapolis
01:41:04.500 and fighting
01:41:05.160 under this
01:41:05.740 coach named
01:41:06.800 Champ Chaney
01:41:07.440 that was his
01:41:08.640 name
01:41:08.960 Champ Chaney
01:41:09.540 bring him up 0.56
01:41:10.000 let's get a
01:41:10.320 gander at him
01:41:10.940 I'd like to
01:41:11.580 see this man
01:41:12.140 today
01:41:12.480 I can still
01:41:13.320 smell the
01:41:14.280 cigar smoke
01:41:15.140 that's him
01:41:15.800 dude
01:41:16.000 there you go
01:41:16.440 Champ
01:41:16.840 oh dude
01:41:17.720 I haven't
01:41:18.040 seen him
01:41:18.500 forever
01:41:19.220 let him
01:41:19.700 have it
01:41:20.040 that second
01:41:20.780 picture right
01:41:21.300 there that's
01:41:21.840 exactly how
01:41:22.640 he'd have that
01:41:23.940 same sweater
01:41:24.640 on every time
01:41:25.340 I'd see him
01:41:25.960 oh yeah
01:41:27.200 yeah police
01:41:27.920 athletic league
01:41:28.700 that was the
01:41:29.220 power clubs
01:41:29.980 we'd fight at
01:41:30.720 like we would
01:41:31.240 open up for
01:41:31.860 our dad's
01:41:32.400 fights
01:41:32.800 like when he
01:41:34.020 got into
01:41:34.440 like Champ's
01:41:35.260 tutelage
01:41:35.920 that's when he
01:41:36.700 started like
01:41:37.420 really doing
01:41:38.300 well
01:41:38.680 okay
01:41:39.400 because he
01:41:39.740 didn't have
01:41:40.080 any really
01:41:40.460 good training
01:41:41.300 and very
01:41:42.920 much like how
01:41:43.620 Apollo trained
01:41:44.520 Rocky
01:41:44.960 Champ trained
01:41:46.080 my dad
01:41:46.580 got it
01:41:47.220 he like
01:41:48.060 reformatted
01:41:49.220 his whole
01:41:49.740 style
01:41:50.280 he taught
01:41:50.680 him footwork
01:41:51.340 he taught
01:41:51.700 him head
01:41:52.040 movement
01:41:52.380 he taught
01:41:52.800 him all
01:41:54.000 the things
01:41:54.440 that he
01:41:54.700 lacked
01:41:55.040 fundamentally
01:41:55.880 because my
01:41:56.480 dad was
01:41:56.880 just a tough
01:41:57.560 guy with a
01:41:58.460 mean punch 0.99
01:41:59.220 and a heart
01:42:00.280 of a lion
01:42:00.880 and he could
01:42:02.400 just train
01:42:03.200 train
01:42:03.640 train
01:42:04.040 he loved
01:42:04.880 to train
01:42:05.300 he loved
01:42:05.620 to work
01:42:06.100 and Champ
01:42:07.220 loved that
01:42:07.760 about him
01:42:08.280 his work
01:42:08.760 ethic
01:42:09.080 he'd show
01:42:09.620 up to
01:42:11.380 Indianapolis
01:42:12.000 he'd spar
01:42:12.700 anybody
01:42:13.320 I remember
01:42:14.040 him getting
01:42:14.480 up in the
01:42:14.960 morning
01:42:15.220 and literally
01:42:15.800 having to
01:42:16.400 peel his
01:42:16.880 eyes open
01:42:17.480 to see us
01:42:18.220 because of
01:42:18.820 just sparring
01:42:19.600 not from a
01:42:20.200 fight
01:42:20.480 just sparring
01:42:21.220 those dudes 0.91
01:42:21.780 in Champ's
01:42:22.360 gym
01:42:22.640 dude
01:42:23.440 go ahead
01:42:24.380 I was just
01:42:25.100 going to say
01:42:25.420 he had a lot
01:42:26.440 of guys that
01:42:26.940 didn't care
01:42:27.500 for him
01:42:27.940 and I remember
01:42:28.560 him talking
01:42:31.140 about that
01:42:31.720 he really had
01:42:32.440 to fight
01:42:32.820 for his spot
01:42:33.520 at that gym
01:42:34.240 your dad did
01:42:34.820 what reasons
01:42:35.980 would they have
01:42:36.320 not to care
01:42:36.720 about him
01:42:37.100 or care for
01:42:38.520 him
01:42:38.740 I think
01:42:39.800 Champ maybe
01:42:42.280 favored him
01:42:42.880 because he
01:42:43.280 really put
01:42:43.960 in a lot
01:42:44.360 of work
01:42:44.760 I think Champ
01:42:46.700 saw what he
01:42:47.260 was going
01:42:47.600 through
01:42:47.900 he was bringing
01:42:48.420 his kids
01:42:48.980 to the gym
01:42:49.780 and he was
01:42:51.560 very much
01:42:52.340 out of sorts
01:42:53.020 there culturally
01:42:53.780 and he was
01:42:54.820 fighting an
01:42:55.340 uphill battle
01:42:55.980 and the wind
01:42:57.220 was in his
01:42:57.680 face
01:42:58.020 and he
01:42:58.300 still kept
01:42:59.040 going forward
01:42:59.720 and I feel
01:43:01.520 like that's
01:43:02.840 what Champ
01:43:03.280 saw in him
01:43:04.440 and so
01:43:05.440 when we
01:43:05.820 started boxing
01:43:06.440 as a kid
01:43:07.120 I mean
01:43:07.480 my first
01:43:08.100 memories
01:43:08.500 are the
01:43:09.420 sounds of
01:43:09.960 these fights
01:43:10.580 like that
01:43:11.300 right there
01:43:11.900 like I can
01:43:12.500 smell that
01:43:13.200 picture
01:43:13.640 like I can
01:43:15.740 smell the
01:43:16.160 room
01:43:16.680 I can
01:43:17.320 it's cigar
01:43:18.320 smoke
01:43:18.960 and isopropyl
01:43:20.580 alcohol
01:43:21.040 with menthol
01:43:21.860 in it
01:43:22.340 and it's
01:43:24.360 it's all
01:43:25.280 those
01:43:25.400 and a lot
01:43:25.760 of sweat
01:43:26.240 and leather
01:43:26.860 and the
01:43:28.700 sound of
01:43:29.200 like
01:43:29.500 cops
01:43:30.740 under the
01:43:32.020 table
01:43:32.280 gambling
01:43:32.780 screaming 0.51
01:43:33.560 red
01:43:34.060 and blue
01:43:34.540 because that's
01:43:35.360 where you
01:43:35.620 would be
01:43:36.040 like red
01:43:36.460 and blue
01:43:36.900 they have
01:43:37.600 like red
01:43:38.060 headgear
01:43:38.700 like this
01:43:39.640 was an
01:43:39.900 exhibition
01:43:40.300 fight
01:43:40.580 me and my
01:43:40.940 brother
01:43:41.120 were fighting
01:43:41.520 each other
01:43:42.020 in this
01:43:42.360 one
01:43:42.600 so we
01:43:43.220 didn't have
01:43:43.760 an opponent
01:43:44.200 so they
01:43:44.560 just have
01:43:44.940 us fight
01:43:45.300 each other
01:43:45.760 so that
01:43:46.460 was one
01:43:46.680 of the fights
01:43:47.060 we opened
01:43:48.780 up for my
01:43:49.360 dad
01:43:49.480 they gave
01:43:49.840 both y'all
01:43:50.260 a trophy
01:43:50.840 too
01:43:51.120 which is 0.99
01:43:51.460 fucking 0.98
01:43:51.680 sure 0.99
01:43:52.040 it's like
01:43:52.300 a participation
01:43:52.940 trophy
01:43:53.380 because it's
01:43:53.780 an exhibition
01:43:54.340 fight
01:43:54.700 but if you
01:43:55.020 both get
01:43:55.520 one
01:43:55.720 yeah
01:43:55.880 I could
01:43:56.200 see that
01:43:56.700 just tell
01:43:57.220 them both
01:43:57.600 are the winner
01:43:58.040 there's exhibition
01:43:58.820 fights and then
01:43:59.500 there's competition
01:44:00.280 these are exhibitions
01:44:01.240 so in an exhibition
01:44:02.220 fight you both get
01:44:03.260 a trophy
01:44:03.640 you're just exhibiting
01:44:05.020 the sport of boxing
01:44:05.960 not really
01:44:07.620 nothing's going on
01:44:09.500 your amateur record
01:44:10.800 or anything like that
01:44:11.920 but then we ended up
01:44:13.000 fighting other kids
01:44:13.880 and when they could
01:44:14.700 find a boy
01:44:15.420 our size to fight
01:44:16.460 we'd fight him
01:44:17.360 and so we would
01:44:19.280 open up
01:44:19.820 like the first
01:44:20.400 two or three
01:44:20.920 fights on the card
01:44:21.820 would be kid fights
01:44:22.840 oh that's fun
01:44:23.580 so I joke around
01:44:25.340 I've been an opener
01:44:26.040 for a long time
01:44:27.080 but yeah
01:44:28.260 I really haven't
01:44:28.800 there's nothing fun
01:44:29.420 to them watching
01:44:29.820 a kid smoke cigarettes
01:44:30.920 or fight another kid
01:44:32.480 a little kid
01:44:33.320 I did both of those things
01:44:34.560 hell yeah
01:44:35.140 there's something about that
01:44:36.540 I think they should have
01:44:37.340 a zoo where you get
01:44:38.240 to watch people 0.99
01:44:38.900 do unique shit 0.99
01:44:39.880 if they had a section 1.00
01:44:41.520 where a couple kids
01:44:42.240 are sitting there smoking
01:44:43.060 don't have them smoke
01:44:44.520 all day
01:44:45.000 because I know
01:44:45.380 it's bad for them
01:44:45.960 but they get two cigarettes
01:44:47.560 a day each
01:44:48.240 and it's like
01:44:49.080 at a certain time
01:44:50.320 they smoke
01:44:50.880 and you all get to watch it
01:44:52.000 and for like 15 minutes
01:44:52.880 a day
01:44:53.120 you come in
01:44:53.800 and watch it
01:44:54.180 and you can stream it too
01:44:55.160 if you didn't want
01:44:55.680 to go in person
01:44:56.100 you could stream it
01:44:56.760 but you're telling me
01:44:57.340 some kid's smoking
01:44:58.180 on my lunch break
01:44:59.480 at 12.15pm today
01:45:00.620 you know
01:45:02.180 Gary or Robert
01:45:03.320 or whatever
01:45:03.680 is going to smoke
01:45:04.440 and
01:45:05.260 if you find a little Gary
01:45:06.140 let me know
01:45:06.900 yeah
01:45:07.220 bubble wrap him
01:45:08.680 protect him
01:45:09.480 that's a precious
01:45:11.480 that's a Gary breed
01:45:12.500 right there
01:45:13.000 oh that's a
01:45:13.560 yeah
01:45:13.740 Gary Indiana
01:45:14.540 isn't it
01:45:15.060 Gary Indiana
01:45:16.380 is a wild place
01:45:17.140 I've heard
01:45:17.480 oh yeah
01:45:17.940 but yeah
01:45:19.100 I would watch a kid
01:45:19.940 I would love to watch
01:45:20.820 a kid smoke
01:45:21.620 you know
01:45:22.220 yeah
01:45:23.240 so and that's
01:45:24.100 maybe that sounds
01:45:24.820 very Russian
01:45:25.480 I mean I don't know
01:45:26.460 I've been online a lot
01:45:27.860 no I think smoking
01:45:30.260 is a very American thing too
01:45:31.800 but yeah
01:45:32.620 I just love
01:45:33.420 like I don't know
01:45:34.040 I love nostalgia too
01:45:35.260 that's something
01:45:35.660 that I love dude
01:45:36.260 I remember the first
01:45:37.300 yeah going to funeral
01:45:40.360 like I just
01:45:40.960 I love the first
01:45:41.980 of everything
01:45:42.580 because after the first
01:45:44.540 time of everything
01:45:45.400 everything lost a lot
01:45:46.780 of luster for me
01:45:47.620 in life
01:45:48.000 I think a lot
01:45:48.600 of times
01:45:49.020 and I don't know
01:45:50.140 why that is
01:45:51.120 and I don't mean it
01:45:52.400 like super negatively
01:45:53.220 like I'm not down
01:45:54.020 in the dumps
01:45:54.520 or anything
01:45:54.880 yeah
01:45:55.480 but I just
01:45:56.240 it's the first
01:45:57.380 it's like
01:45:58.260 there's something
01:45:59.800 fascinating about
01:46:00.720 the first time
01:46:01.400 of everything
01:46:01.880 yeah
01:46:02.400 yeah nostalgia
01:46:04.040 is a
01:46:04.560 it's a really
01:46:05.620 effective tool
01:46:06.960 as far as
01:46:08.020 you know
01:46:09.260 making people
01:46:09.980 go back
01:46:10.660 to memories
01:46:11.480 like whether
01:46:12.960 it's smell
01:46:13.700 when you get
01:46:14.680 in your own
01:46:15.120 memory
01:46:15.380 you're attached
01:46:16.220 yeah
01:46:16.680 you know
01:46:17.340 it's like
01:46:17.840 yeah there's
01:46:19.900 just something
01:46:20.240 that attaches
01:46:20.860 you there
01:46:21.440 yeah
01:46:22.540 and you can
01:46:23.200 use senses
01:46:24.120 to
01:46:25.080 like a
01:46:26.060 like as a
01:46:26.900 an appendage
01:46:27.760 to nostalgia
01:46:29.060 like a sense
01:46:30.100 of smell
01:46:30.600 a sense of sight
01:46:32.140 or sound
01:46:32.760 and touch
01:46:33.760 all that
01:46:34.240 and I think
01:46:35.480 if you kind
01:46:36.040 of use those
01:46:36.740 senses
01:46:37.140 and appendage
01:46:39.240 them
01:46:39.580 to
01:46:40.760 a certain
01:46:41.940 type of
01:46:42.400 nostalgia
01:46:42.900 you can
01:46:43.660 unlock a
01:46:44.300 memory
01:46:44.640 within
01:46:45.060 any human
01:46:45.980 yeah
01:46:46.560 like all
01:46:47.160 humans
01:46:47.540 it doesn't
01:46:47.900 have to be
01:46:48.240 your memory
01:46:48.880 you can
01:46:49.360 you suddenly
01:46:50.380 have a key
01:46:51.100 to so many
01:46:51.780 memories
01:46:52.460 so many
01:46:53.240 minds
01:46:53.800 and
01:46:54.340 and you
01:46:55.800 yeah you open
01:46:56.380 up these
01:46:56.740 memories
01:46:57.100 that people
01:46:57.780 have had
01:46:58.080 vaulted
01:46:58.580 for years
01:46:59.180 and when
01:46:59.500 they come
01:46:59.860 out
01:47:00.180 it's like
01:47:00.620 it's almost
01:47:00.960 like seeing
01:47:01.460 that toy
01:47:02.080 that you
01:47:03.000 got for
01:47:03.400 Christmas
01:47:03.800 when you
01:47:04.840 were seven
01:47:05.280 years old
01:47:05.780 that you
01:47:06.080 were so
01:47:06.480 excited
01:47:06.940 about
01:47:07.340 but seeing
01:47:08.280 it again
01:47:08.780 for the first
01:47:09.340 time when
01:47:09.920 you're in
01:47:10.300 your 30s
01:47:10.960 or 40
01:47:11.360 and you
01:47:11.640 kind of
01:47:12.020 relive that
01:47:13.200 excitement
01:47:13.600 for at least
01:47:14.040 a second
01:47:14.560 like oh
01:47:15.220 man I
01:47:15.640 remember that
01:47:16.720 feeling
01:47:17.260 I haven't
01:47:17.880 seen that
01:47:18.380 in 30
01:47:18.800 years
01:47:19.240 and when
01:47:20.220 you can
01:47:20.540 unleash
01:47:21.640 that memory
01:47:22.720 it's
01:47:23.400 such a
01:47:25.420 beautiful
01:47:25.780 thing
01:47:26.260 you see
01:47:27.120 it on
01:47:27.400 people's
01:47:27.800 eyes
01:47:28.200 you see
01:47:28.820 them
01:47:29.220 traveling
01:47:29.980 through
01:47:30.360 time
01:47:30.800 and
01:47:31.700 yeah
01:47:32.860 it's
01:47:33.440 it's like
01:47:34.140 the first
01:47:34.380 time you
01:47:34.560 hear a song
01:47:35.100 kind of
01:47:35.340 that really
01:47:35.760 touches you 0.73
01:47:36.340 you know
01:47:36.700 like
01:47:37.500 it's a
01:47:38.260 human
01:47:38.520 thing
01:47:38.980 why
01:47:39.600 I
01:47:40.220 got
01:47:40.560 a
01:47:40.820 new
01:47:41.040 complaint
01:47:41.640 who
01:47:42.360 sang
01:47:43.240 that
01:47:44.580 song
01:47:44.780 you know
01:47:44.940 Nirvana
01:47:45.340 it's
01:47:45.560 Heart
01:47:45.740 Shaped 0.89
01:47:46.000 Box
01:47:46.400 god
01:47:46.760 that song
01:47:47.240 was 1.00
01:47:47.420 fucking 0.99
01:47:47.800 good 0.98
01:47:48.100 it's
01:47:48.540 incredible
01:47:49.040 yeah
01:47:49.360 I
01:47:49.540 would
01:47:49.660 stay
01:47:50.020 home
01:47:50.400 from
01:47:50.580 school
01:47:51.180 to
01:47:51.800 listen
01:47:52.200 to
01:47:52.360 that
01:47:52.560 song
01:47:52.860 dude
01:47:53.100 and watch
01:47:53.540 the video
01:47:54.200 I remember
01:47:54.840 watching the
01:47:55.400 video
01:47:55.760 and just
01:47:56.100 being like
01:47:56.560 I remember
01:47:58.320 like Kurt
01:47:58.980 rocking back
01:47:59.720 and forth
01:48:00.080 in that
01:48:00.420 chair
01:48:00.840 just
01:48:01.960 everything
01:48:02.340 about
01:48:02.920 it
01:48:03.100 like
01:48:03.480 that
01:48:03.840 whole
01:48:04.100 record
01:48:04.480 in
01:48:04.680 utero
01:48:05.060 was
01:48:05.360 just
01:48:05.660 like
01:48:05.980 life
01:48:06.620 changing
01:48:07.040 for me
01:48:07.500 that was
01:48:07.980 huge
01:48:08.200 Scentless
01:48:08.560 Apprentice
01:48:09.180 oh my
01:48:09.700 god
01:48:09.980 yeah
01:48:10.180 this is
01:48:10.540 the
01:48:10.680 video
01:48:10.980 oh
01:48:11.500 I
01:48:12.720 do
01:48:13.020 remember
01:48:13.400 some
01:48:13.680 of
01:48:13.800 this
01:48:14.000 now
01:48:14.280 dude
01:48:14.520 uh
01:48:15.500 I've
01:48:17.020 been locked
01:48:17.600 inside
01:48:18.680 your
01:48:19.240 heart
01:48:20.020 shaped
01:48:20.640 oh
01:48:21.120 dude
01:48:21.520 yeah
01:48:21.820 when
01:48:22.160 Soundgarden
01:48:22.980 came
01:48:23.320 up
01:48:23.440 bro
01:48:23.700 Soundgarden
01:48:24.420 changed
01:48:24.760 my life
01:48:25.080 Stone Temple
01:48:25.760 Pilot
01:48:26.260 bro
01:48:26.440 I actually
01:48:26.700 learned how to
01:48:27.120 play guitar
01:48:27.660 from Soundgarden
01:48:28.500 people
01:48:29.000 if they're
01:48:29.580 like
01:48:29.760 if I
01:48:30.000 could
01:48:30.140 like
01:48:30.320 give
01:48:30.480 anybody
01:48:31.060 like
01:48:31.320 who taught
01:48:31.880 you
01:48:32.020 how to
01:48:32.320 play
01:48:32.520 guitar
01:48:32.980 literally
01:48:34.140 like
01:48:34.580 if I
01:48:34.900 could credit
01:48:35.320 anybody
01:48:35.860 it would
01:48:37.500 and I
01:48:38.900 feel
01:48:39.380 is that
01:48:39.600 Soundgarden
01:48:40.020 when the
01:48:40.580 Stone Temple
01:48:41.680 Pilots
01:48:42.260 they were
01:48:42.980 also good
01:48:43.620 what was
01:48:44.140 Soundgarden
01:48:44.980 what's a
01:48:45.620 Soundgarden
01:48:45.940 song
01:48:46.360 there's so
01:48:47.240 many
01:48:47.540 like
01:48:47.820 as far as
01:48:48.480 hits
01:48:48.700 you got
01:48:48.940 like
01:48:49.060 Black Hole
01:48:49.480 Sun
01:48:49.820 Fell On
01:48:50.240 Black 0.64
01:48:50.480 Days
01:48:51.100 Blow Up
01:48:52.700 The Outside
01:48:53.200 World
01:48:53.500 one of my
01:48:53.940 favorites
01:48:54.540 Rusty Cage
01:48:56.960 Pretty News
01:48:57.660 The Day I
01:48:58.160 Tried to
01:48:58.540 Live
01:48:58.840 Fourth of
01:49:00.040 July
01:49:00.320 is heavy
01:49:00.780 as hell
01:49:01.280 I love
01:49:01.940 Fourth of
01:49:02.360 July
01:49:02.600 Fourth of
01:49:02.960 July
01:49:03.680 Lemmo
01:49:05.080 Wreck
01:49:05.400 oh that
01:49:05.960 slaps
01:49:06.440 super
01:49:07.140 heavy
01:49:07.480 well that's
01:49:10.120 Fourth of
01:49:10.780 July
01:49:11.100 blow up
01:49:14.080 the outside 0.99
01:49:14.900 dude
01:49:16.080 one of the
01:49:16.620 greatest rock
01:49:17.260 and roll
01:49:17.540 vocal performances
01:49:18.480 ever is blow up
01:49:19.560 the outside world
01:49:20.460 like listen to
01:49:21.420 that Chris
01:49:22.200 Cornell vocal
01:49:23.180 and just
01:49:24.100 talk to me
01:49:25.100 after
01:49:25.620 it is like a
01:49:27.120 a clinic
01:49:28.560 is it pretty good
01:49:29.360 put these on
01:49:30.060 let's play it
01:49:30.440 real quick
01:49:30.920 we gotta get
01:49:32.020 you're gonna play
01:49:32.400 a couple songs
01:49:32.780 for us today
01:49:33.140 what do you think
01:49:33.720 Stevie
01:49:33.980 yeah
01:49:34.460 let's do it
01:49:35.080 come on
01:49:35.460 I'm scared
01:49:36.060 let's listen
01:49:37.340 to this
01:49:37.640 together
01:49:37.960 if we can
01:49:38.580 there's so much
01:49:42.080 like John
01:49:42.580 Lennon
01:49:42.900 influence
01:49:43.360 in this
01:49:43.820 song
01:49:44.100 you can
01:49:44.500 really
01:49:44.900 oh
01:49:45.700 oh
01:49:46.200 nothing
01:49:46.700 seems to
01:49:49.220 kill me
01:49:50.360 ugh 1.00
01:49:51.020 remember how
01:50:15.280 videos were so
01:50:16.360 much too
01:50:16.880 then
01:50:17.220 nothing
01:50:22.280 nothing
01:50:24.480 seems to
01:50:27.080 break me
01:50:28.180 ugh
01:50:29.440 riding
01:50:30.420 dude
01:50:30.860 riding
01:50:31.280 somewhere
01:50:31.700 just listening
01:50:32.380 to a song
01:50:32.800 by yourself
01:50:33.640 there was
01:50:34.840 nothing
01:50:35.300 like it
01:50:36.400 used to
01:50:41.400 my buddy
01:50:41.780 would smoke
01:50:42.260 cigarettes
01:50:42.560 in his car
01:50:43.020 and he'd
01:50:43.260 just throw
01:50:43.720 them in the
01:50:44.040 backseat
01:50:44.460 when he was
01:50:44.760 done
01:50:44.960 smoking
01:50:45.320 them
01:50:45.500 whole
01:50:47.880 backseat
01:50:48.320 it burnt
01:50:48.820 up like
01:50:49.120 70 times
01:50:49.800 the back
01:50:50.020 of his car
01:50:50.340 he would
01:50:51.500 just
01:50:51.720 he'd have
01:50:52.120 a little
01:50:52.360 water bottle
01:50:52.940 from his
01:50:53.260 mom's
01:50:53.520 hair salon
01:50:54.120 and he'd
01:50:54.780 zap it
01:50:55.820 out
01:50:55.980 yeah
01:50:56.160 zap it
01:50:56.780 bro his voice
01:51:11.160 was like
01:51:11.440 nobody's
01:51:12.200 oh that's
01:51:12.660 insane
01:51:13.140 and then
01:51:15.180 I mean
01:51:16.160 it didn't even
01:51:16.600 seem human
01:51:17.320 that he was
01:51:18.180 doing this
01:51:18.800 no
01:51:19.360 very few
01:51:23.180 people had
01:51:23.680 like that
01:51:24.160 range
01:51:24.780 of being
01:51:25.080 able to
01:51:25.340 go that
01:51:25.680 high
01:51:26.020 but also
01:51:26.560 like go
01:51:27.260 low
01:51:27.800 and make
01:51:28.580 it
01:51:28.740 meaningful
01:51:29.300 and then
01:51:30.680 go back
01:51:31.040 down to
01:51:31.440 this
01:51:31.640 world
01:51:32.060 yeah
01:51:34.060 and take
01:51:35.700 you there
01:51:36.160 a lot
01:51:36.760 of those
01:51:37.320 high singers
01:51:37.880 would lose
01:51:38.340 you when
01:51:38.620 they go
01:51:38.900 down
01:51:39.240 like that
01:51:39.760 yeah
01:51:41.140 it's all
01:51:41.740 I mean
01:51:42.420 just so
01:51:43.040 enveloped
01:51:43.800 like you
01:51:44.160 just
01:51:44.420 like you
01:51:45.320 wanted to
01:51:45.800 be in
01:51:46.060 their world
01:51:46.760 smashing pumpkins
01:51:48.660 together
01:51:48.980 there was a lot
01:51:49.620 of good
01:51:49.840 and I
01:51:50.540 always
01:51:50.980 one thing
01:51:51.460 I've never
01:51:52.060 liked
01:51:52.480 I don't
01:51:52.840 like music
01:51:53.400 where you
01:51:53.780 can't hear
01:51:54.560 the words
01:51:55.240 right
01:51:55.560 yeah
01:51:55.900 sometimes
01:51:56.640 the way
01:51:57.100 they do
01:51:57.420 mix
01:51:57.740 or something
01:51:58.100 it
01:51:58.800 loses me
01:51:59.720 if I can't
01:52:00.680 hear the words
01:52:01.380 that's the part
01:52:02.080 that I need
01:52:02.480 the most
01:52:02.940 because I need
01:52:03.900 to feel
01:52:04.260 something
01:52:04.460 the beat
01:52:05.120 and stuff
01:52:05.480 helps
01:52:06.140 it's cool
01:52:06.600 for me
01:52:07.040 but for me
01:52:07.840 I've always
01:52:08.260 been like
01:52:08.780 what are the
01:52:09.540 words telling
01:52:10.060 us
01:52:10.320 you know
01:52:10.820 you want to
01:52:11.440 know the
01:52:11.720 story
01:52:12.040 yes
01:52:12.360 I want to
01:52:12.840 feel something
01:52:13.340 from it
01:52:13.760 you know
01:52:14.640 I'm with you
01:52:18.220 I'm a word
01:52:20.820 nerd
01:52:21.140 so 0.97
01:52:21.500 I'm assuming
01:52:22.700 you are too
01:52:23.360 oh I love
01:52:24.320 to write
01:52:24.680 that was
01:52:24.960 my favorite
01:52:25.840 thing
01:52:26.080 I think
01:52:26.460 one of my
01:52:27.180 goals
01:52:27.440 maybe the
01:52:27.740 next couple
01:52:28.080 years
01:52:28.260 would be
01:52:28.440 to finally
01:52:29.080 get a book
01:52:29.640 done
01:52:29.840 I've written
01:52:30.440 a lot
01:52:30.760 of stuff
01:52:31.260 and I've
01:52:31.980 written
01:52:32.080 probably half
01:52:32.860 of maybe
01:52:33.420 two books
01:52:34.080 but I would
01:52:35.020 like to
01:52:35.440 finally get
01:52:35.880 it done
01:52:36.100 but once
01:52:36.520 video became
01:52:37.180 so popular
01:52:37.820 it was just
01:52:38.300 like
01:52:38.580 and once
01:52:39.320 podcasting
01:52:39.920 became busier
01:52:40.460 it was hard
01:52:40.940 to focus
01:52:41.340 on that
01:52:41.820 is there
01:52:43.660 anything good
01:52:44.020 in the news
01:52:44.500 right now
01:52:44.900 that we want
01:52:45.260 to check
01:52:45.560 out
01:52:45.940 dude
01:52:47.380 I did
01:52:47.820 will you
01:52:48.080 look up
01:52:48.360 an article
01:52:48.740 Trevin
01:52:49.080 I saw
01:52:49.360 something
01:52:49.560 about
01:52:49.820 Facebook
01:52:50.340 and did
01:52:50.760 research
01:52:51.160 and then
01:52:51.460 they
01:52:51.620 canceled
01:52:52.060 it
01:52:52.280 after it
01:52:52.680 started
01:52:52.880 to find
01:52:53.540 beliefs
01:52:55.020 that they
01:52:55.340 didn't
01:52:55.600 want
01:52:55.940 we were
01:52:57.160 talking
01:52:57.420 about
01:52:57.680 that
01:52:57.880 we were
01:52:59.500 talking
01:52:59.620 about
01:52:59.720 research
01:53:00.500 yeah
01:53:01.260 what kind
01:53:02.180 of
01:53:02.260 user
01:53:02.760 bias
01:53:03.140 oh
01:53:03.300 about
01:53:03.480 user
01:53:03.760 bias
01:53:04.220 on
01:53:05.320 boxing
01:53:05.720 have you
01:53:06.580 done
01:53:06.740 any
01:53:06.860 boxing
01:53:07.200 no
01:53:08.000 I've
01:53:09.500 go to
01:53:09.940 a lot
01:53:10.140 of
01:53:10.200 MMA
01:53:10.500 I go to
01:53:10.880 a lot
01:53:11.060 of
01:53:11.120 MMA
01:53:11.320 stuff
01:53:11.560 I love
01:53:11.900 it
01:53:12.000 as soon
01:53:12.480 you know
01:53:13.120 what
01:53:13.240 I wouldn't
01:53:13.440 mind getting
01:53:13.860 into something
01:53:14.320 more
01:53:14.680 the past
01:53:15.440 year has
01:53:15.720 been tough
01:53:16.140 for me
01:53:16.360 I didn't
01:53:16.720 invest
01:53:17.180 in a lot
01:53:17.620 the past
01:53:18.020 couple
01:53:18.200 years
01:53:18.360 were touring
01:53:18.880 I kind
01:53:19.660 of
01:53:19.740 invested
01:53:20.340 more
01:53:20.600 of
01:53:20.700 having
01:53:21.100 a
01:53:21.300 trainer
01:53:21.540 with
01:53:21.760 me
01:53:21.880 on
01:53:21.980 the
01:53:22.100 road
01:53:22.300 or
01:53:22.460 things
01:53:22.700 like
01:53:22.900 that
01:53:23.200 I
01:53:23.600 kind
01:53:23.780 of
01:53:23.860 took
01:53:24.000 some
01:53:24.140 of
01:53:24.200 that
01:53:24.280 for
01:53:24.440 granted
01:53:24.780 and I
01:53:26.140 think
01:53:26.320 in the
01:53:26.580 future
01:53:26.900 that I'll
01:53:27.220 do it
01:53:27.500 differently
01:53:27.940 but this
01:53:29.520 year I'd
01:53:29.840 like to get
01:53:30.300 more in a
01:53:30.680 focus and
01:53:31.120 more on
01:53:31.400 my health
01:53:31.780 and stuff
01:53:32.020 like that
01:53:32.300 I've
01:53:32.480 really
01:53:32.620 burned
01:53:33.000 myself
01:53:33.340 out
01:53:33.580 pretty
01:53:33.800 good
01:53:34.100 but I
01:53:35.520 used
01:53:35.720 to
01:53:35.860 take
01:53:36.700 MMA
01:53:37.860 classes
01:53:38.420 and I
01:53:40.420 have a
01:53:40.660 feeling
01:53:40.840 that I'll
01:53:41.080 get back
01:53:41.440 into it
01:53:41.960 I've
01:53:42.820 also had
01:53:43.260 traveled
01:53:43.680 I was
01:53:43.940 moving
01:53:44.260 a lot
01:53:44.580 too
01:53:44.840 but now
01:53:45.580 I'm
01:53:45.700 going to
01:53:45.820 be here
01:53:46.220 more
01:53:46.520 and so
01:53:47.560 I need
01:53:48.160 to put
01:53:48.420 some roots
01:53:48.840 more in
01:53:49.140 some places
01:53:49.540 like that
01:53:50.100 so it's
01:53:52.000 like I'll
01:53:52.240 be able to
01:53:52.500 have more
01:53:52.780 of a
01:53:53.020 system
01:53:53.360 like a
01:53:53.800 pattern
01:53:54.140 and so
01:53:54.900 it's been
01:53:55.200 tough for me
01:53:55.620 to have
01:53:55.940 that
01:53:56.160 it's so
01:53:56.620 hard to
01:53:56.980 find that
01:53:57.440 I mean
01:53:57.760 I box
01:53:59.140 a lot
01:53:59.520 here in
01:54:00.000 town
01:54:00.240 well a lot
01:54:00.820 when I'm
01:54:01.900 in town
01:54:02.480 I try to
01:54:03.100 as much
01:54:03.460 as I can
01:54:04.000 but it's
01:54:04.480 it's helped
01:54:05.160 me so much
01:54:06.060 just try to
01:54:06.900 even if it's
01:54:07.440 two days a
01:54:08.080 week
01:54:08.340 I only brought
01:54:10.320 it up
01:54:10.640 I went to
01:54:11.300 the UFC
01:54:11.940 Performance
01:54:12.540 Institute
01:54:13.160 in Las
01:54:14.100 Vegas
01:54:14.360 last week
01:54:15.560 because we
01:54:16.540 played in
01:54:16.920 Vegas last
01:54:17.460 week
01:54:17.740 and they
01:54:18.060 invited me
01:54:18.640 in
01:54:18.800 it was
01:54:19.000 so cool
01:54:19.660 were you at
01:54:19.680 the fights
01:54:20.100 no
01:54:20.560 it was
01:54:21.440 after the
01:54:22.480 fights
01:54:22.840 but I saw
01:54:23.360 Sean Strickland
01:54:24.320 there
01:54:24.680 oh you did
01:54:25.460 oh dude
01:54:26.480 he's a really
01:54:27.020 amazing guy
01:54:27.720 he's an
01:54:27.920 interesting guy
01:54:28.740 incredible
01:54:29.180 he's a deep
01:54:29.700 soul
01:54:30.040 he is a deep
01:54:30.780 soul
01:54:31.080 and just
01:54:32.880 such a nice
01:54:33.460 guy
01:54:33.800 everybody there
01:54:34.860 was so nice
01:54:35.540 they're so
01:54:35.940 great
01:54:36.260 did you get
01:54:36.920 to work out
01:54:37.580 there or
01:54:37.820 train there
01:54:38.180 at all
01:54:38.400 no
01:54:38.860 yeah I did
01:54:39.740 I trained
01:54:40.380 with Brandon
01:54:40.820 Jenkins
01:54:41.220 there
01:54:41.760 you did
01:54:42.760 yeah
01:54:43.240 dude bring
01:54:43.760 up Brandon
01:54:44.080 Jenkins
01:54:44.340 I went to
01:54:44.860 I tried
01:54:46.120 yeah Forrest
01:54:47.680 Griffin
01:54:48.040 basically gave
01:54:48.760 me the tour
01:54:49.380 and like he
01:54:50.320 met me there
01:54:51.020 and I was
01:54:51.440 like holy
01:54:52.920 hell
01:54:53.700 there he is
01:54:54.920 nice dude
01:54:56.120 yeah
01:54:56.500 yeah he
01:54:58.280 he put some
01:54:58.920 work on me
01:54:59.620 and uh
01:55:00.400 that's awesome
01:55:01.160 I was really
01:55:01.640 out of shape
01:55:02.280 but it was
01:55:03.100 cool I got
01:55:03.480 to learn
01:55:03.840 some new
01:55:04.300 things
01:55:04.700 like he
01:55:05.140 you know
01:55:05.580 because I
01:55:06.600 only train
01:55:07.260 with boxing
01:55:07.720 guys
01:55:08.160 and he's
01:55:08.600 an MMA
01:55:09.020 guy
01:55:09.380 so like
01:55:09.920 it was just
01:55:10.280 there was a lot
01:55:10.920 of different angles
01:55:11.660 a lot of new
01:55:12.260 things I had to
01:55:12.900 learn and take
01:55:13.560 it you know
01:55:14.060 kind of slow
01:55:14.720 and kind of
01:55:15.480 start from scratch
01:55:16.400 it was
01:55:16.820 it was humbling
01:55:17.980 and uh
01:55:19.220 and I was like
01:55:19.840 four weeks on the
01:55:20.780 road and very
01:55:21.460 like four weeks
01:55:22.220 uh having not
01:55:23.360 trained is too
01:55:24.400 much time off
01:55:25.240 to like
01:55:25.700 go back
01:55:27.060 I felt like
01:55:27.980 a total piece 1.00
01:55:29.040 of crap 1.00
01:55:29.540 yeah 0.99
01:55:30.020 like I looked
01:55:30.780 real bad
01:55:31.460 and I felt
01:55:32.200 like I looked
01:55:32.800 real bad
01:55:33.560 that's the tough
01:55:34.300 thing as you get
01:55:34.660 older too
01:55:35.020 it's like
01:55:35.380 you gotta catch me
01:55:36.460 give me a couple
01:55:36.940 days to prepare
01:55:37.440 for anything
01:55:37.960 I can do it
01:55:38.940 but do not
01:55:40.220 catch me
01:55:40.740 if I've had
01:55:41.140 four or five
01:55:41.780 diet cokes
01:55:42.460 and you want me
01:55:42.960 to box
01:55:43.480 or whatever 1.00
01:55:43.920 bitch I'm staying 1.00
01:55:45.140 in the car 1.00
01:55:45.760 you know what I'm
01:55:46.340 saying
01:55:46.500 like
01:55:46.820 way too much
01:55:47.780 aspartame
01:55:48.200 yeah
01:55:48.360 that's what it
01:55:49.340 is dude
01:55:49.840 it's like
01:55:50.420 I look like a 1.00
01:55:50.960 damn teddy bear 1.00
01:55:51.820 or something 1.00
01:55:52.160 you know
01:55:52.500 because also
01:55:53.260 my body style
01:55:54.000 my god given
01:55:54.700 body style
01:55:55.420 is uh
01:55:56.020 I'm built
01:55:56.320 kind of like
01:55:56.640 a gingerbread
01:55:57.400 cookie a little
01:55:58.060 bit you know
01:55:58.640 like I'm sturdy
01:55:59.700 bring up a good
01:56:00.440 g bread on me
01:56:01.400 daddy
01:56:01.760 it's seasonal
01:56:02.800 anyway
01:56:03.120 I bet you can
01:56:03.820 throw
01:56:04.140 you know what
01:56:05.220 I can survive
01:56:06.140 dude
01:56:06.420 I'll do okay
01:56:07.300 put me
01:56:08.040 give me a couple
01:56:08.580 weeks of uh
01:56:09.420 of uh
01:56:10.600 that's how I'm
01:56:11.920 built right there
01:56:12.520 yeah
01:56:13.120 now sturdy
01:56:13.760 I got a sturdy
01:56:14.380 base on me
01:56:15.220 yeah
01:56:15.620 do your legs
01:56:16.200 look like that
01:56:16.900 well I think
01:56:17.720 bow legged
01:56:18.600 like that
01:56:19.060 no
01:56:19.320 this one
01:56:20.400 this one had
01:56:21.100 a bad uh
01:56:22.200 this one might have
01:56:23.040 been in a bad
01:56:23.740 oven but
01:56:24.280 yeah
01:56:24.640 I got a little
01:56:27.000 bit more frosting
01:56:27.700 on me than that
01:56:28.280 one but
01:56:28.620 uh
01:56:29.420 yes anyway
01:56:30.320 maybe the one
01:56:31.580 they don't really
01:56:32.880 make a perfect
01:56:33.520 cookie dude
01:56:34.080 but
01:56:34.300 we should
01:56:35.860 do you know
01:56:36.400 what would be
01:56:36.680 interesting
01:56:37.140 what if we made
01:56:38.400 cookies
01:56:39.520 of like people
01:56:40.860 that have been
01:56:41.180 on this show
01:56:41.820 and we sold
01:56:42.340 it was like a
01:56:42.800 fun like
01:56:43.280 we could do
01:56:43.860 part of it
01:56:44.160 as like a
01:56:44.460 fundraiser or
01:56:45.060 something
01:56:45.240 for moms
01:56:45.820 or something
01:56:46.340 um
01:56:47.120 that's good
01:56:47.320 we eat each
01:56:47.940 other's cookies
01:56:48.560 and you just
01:56:49.040 get a batch
01:56:49.600 of them or
01:56:49.960 something
01:56:50.160 yeah
01:56:50.460 you can get
01:56:50.800 a batch
01:56:51.220 of the
01:56:51.420 Stephen Wilson
01:56:51.960 like they can 0.96
01:56:52.740 bite my head 1.00
01:56:53.280 off 0.99
01:56:53.560 I love that
01:56:55.140 if you're
01:56:56.380 angry at your
01:56:57.000 husband
01:56:57.340 you just get
01:56:58.140 you a batch
01:56:58.540 of Stephen
01:56:59.100 Wilsons
01:56:59.640 and chew
01:57:00.500 his head 1.00
01:57:00.940 off
01:57:01.240 um
01:57:02.140 so that's
01:57:03.020 pretty crazy
01:57:03.460 so Brandon
01:57:03.960 Jenkins met
01:57:04.480 you out
01:57:04.720 there
01:57:05.040 and Forrest
01:57:06.200 Griffin met
01:57:06.620 you out
01:57:06.840 there
01:57:07.040 yeah
01:57:07.260 and they
01:57:08.060 gave me a
01:57:08.460 tour of the
01:57:08.860 whole facility
01:57:09.620 oh man
01:57:11.080 it was like
01:57:11.580 um
01:57:11.900 I was a kid
01:57:12.760 at a candy
01:57:13.280 shop
01:57:13.540 did they
01:57:13.840 take you
01:57:14.260 through like
01:57:14.680 not just
01:57:15.080 the gym
01:57:15.440 part but
01:57:15.820 also the
01:57:16.380 UFC
01:57:16.760 building
01:57:17.100 and stuff
01:57:17.480 yeah
01:57:17.820 yeah I
01:57:18.360 got to go
01:57:18.720 into like
01:57:19.080 the lunch
01:57:19.540 room
01:57:19.980 and everything
01:57:20.440 yeah dude
01:57:20.860 it's nice
01:57:21.540 yeah I was
01:57:21.980 like this
01:57:22.280 is so nice
01:57:23.400 and yeah
01:57:24.080 like you
01:57:25.040 don't
01:57:25.380 this is like
01:57:25.860 the most
01:57:26.180 dangerous
01:57:26.860 lunch room
01:57:27.540 you'll ever
01:57:29.640 like everybody
01:57:31.500 was so nice
01:57:32.300 and so friendly
01:57:33.220 but it was
01:57:33.620 like you'll
01:57:34.460 never walk
01:57:34.880 into a
01:57:35.260 cafeteria
01:57:35.640 that could 0.68
01:57:36.580 hurt you 0.59
01:57:36.960 so bad
01:57:37.440 yeah
01:57:37.700 oh even
01:57:38.280 the line
01:57:38.740 cooks will
01:57:39.100 have like
01:57:39.360 cauliflower
01:57:39.800 he's like
01:57:40.160 you want
01:57:40.340 cauliflower
01:57:40.760 and you're
01:57:41.020 like oh
01:57:41.440 I'm good
01:57:42.240 I'm mad
01:57:42.660 how about
01:57:43.220 the broccoli
01:57:43.680 yeah
01:57:44.360 yeah dude
01:57:45.240 even like
01:57:46.200 yeah I think
01:57:46.740 like the head
01:57:47.220 chef in there
01:57:47.780 last week
01:57:48.140 was like
01:57:48.380 Brandon Roy
01:57:48.920 Vallis
01:57:49.300 I'm like
01:57:49.560 they got
01:57:50.020 some gangsters
01:57:50.960 in here
01:57:51.280 I'm being
01:57:52.060 careful what I
01:57:52.740 asked for
01:57:53.140 in here
01:57:53.540 yeah
01:57:54.020 oh that's
01:57:54.640 hilarious
01:57:55.000 dude
01:57:55.200 meta buried 0.55
01:57:55.920 casual evidence
01:57:56.840 of social media
01:57:57.860 harm
01:57:58.560 US court
01:57:59.860 filings
01:58:00.280 allege
01:58:00.800 oh yeah
01:58:01.240 this was it
01:58:01.820 this was about
01:58:02.400 information
01:58:02.820 meta shut down
01:58:04.580 internal research
01:58:05.480 into the mental
01:58:06.300 health effects
01:58:06.900 of Facebook
01:58:07.380 after finding
01:58:08.100 causal evidence
01:58:09.360 that its products
01:58:10.100 harmed users
01:58:10.760 mental health
01:58:11.380 according to
01:58:12.180 unredacted filings
01:58:13.080 in a lawsuit
01:58:13.540 by US school
01:58:14.240 districts
01:58:14.580 against meta
01:58:15.160 and other
01:58:15.580 social media
01:58:16.040 platforms
01:58:16.540 so would that
01:58:19.120 be information
01:58:19.960 bias
01:58:20.480 internal research
01:58:21.940 in the middle
01:58:22.360 of
01:58:22.640 in a 2020
01:58:23.720 research project
01:58:24.660 codenamed
01:58:25.100 Project Mercury
01:58:26.060 scientists
01:58:27.320 worked with
01:58:27.900 survey film
01:58:28.700 survey firm
01:58:30.100 Nielsen
01:58:30.580 to gauge
01:58:31.200 the effects
01:58:31.640 of deactivating
01:58:32.680 Facebook
01:58:33.120 according to
01:58:34.060 meta documents
01:58:34.640 obtained via
01:58:35.280 discovery
01:58:35.700 to the company's
01:58:36.620 disappointment
01:58:37.080 people who
01:58:37.880 stopped using
01:58:38.480 Facebook for a
01:58:39.220 week reported
01:58:39.780 lower feelings
01:58:40.520 of depression
01:58:41.240 anxiety
01:58:42.300 loneliness
01:58:42.920 and social
01:58:43.800 comparison
01:58:44.500 yeah
01:58:45.180 rather than
01:58:45.920 publishing
01:58:46.320 those findings
01:58:46.880 or pursuing
01:58:47.380 additional research
01:58:48.340 the filing states
01:58:49.080 meta called off
01:58:50.140 further work
01:58:50.780 and internally
01:58:51.440 declared
01:58:52.020 that the negative
01:58:52.880 study findings
01:58:53.440 were tainted
01:58:54.020 by the existing
01:58:55.220 media narrative
01:58:56.200 around the
01:58:57.380 company
01:58:57.780 privately
01:58:58.720 however
01:58:59.140 a staffer
01:58:59.800 insisted
01:59:00.200 the conclusions
01:59:00.800 of the research
01:59:01.300 were valid
01:59:01.800 according to
01:59:02.460 the filing
01:59:03.040 is that
01:59:03.900 user bias
01:59:04.720 I would
01:59:05.860 I'd say
01:59:06.800 it definitely
01:59:07.320 could be
01:59:07.860 user bias
01:59:08.500 but I would
01:59:09.440 actually have
01:59:10.140 to see
01:59:10.480 the research
01:59:11.340 there's so
01:59:12.200 many other
01:59:12.860 variables
01:59:13.800 like you
01:59:14.420 want to know
01:59:14.980 how many
01:59:15.660 participants
01:59:16.300 were involved
01:59:17.540 like what's
01:59:17.980 your statistical
01:59:18.820 N
01:59:19.380 meaning like
01:59:21.180 how many
01:59:21.620 participants
01:59:22.280 were there
01:59:22.840 therefore
01:59:23.320 you know
01:59:24.240 your bell
01:59:24.680 curve
01:59:24.960 is going
01:59:25.260 to be
01:59:25.580 a lot
01:59:26.020 more
01:59:26.380 I guess
01:59:27.420 a lot
01:59:28.300 more
01:59:28.500 valid
01:59:28.860 you're going
01:59:29.220 to have
01:59:29.480 more
01:59:29.860 statistical
01:59:30.480 significance
01:59:31.420 the higher
01:59:32.760 number of
01:59:33.620 participants
01:59:34.120 are involved
01:59:35.100 in the research
01:59:35.940 for all we know
01:59:36.860 there's 20
01:59:37.480 people that
01:59:38.080 they did
01:59:38.440 research on
01:59:39.300 on Facebook
01:59:40.020 right
01:59:40.420 but if they
01:59:40.820 said like
01:59:41.300 no we
01:59:41.900 did research
01:59:42.640 on 200,000
01:59:43.820 people
01:59:44.340 okay now
01:59:45.180 you got
01:59:45.580 statistical
01:59:46.440 validity
01:59:46.940 but I need
01:59:47.340 to see
01:59:47.600 this research
01:59:48.240 paper
01:59:48.600 because one
01:59:49.540 person's
01:59:50.040 saying that
01:59:50.580 there's user
01:59:51.200 bias
01:59:51.580 and then there's
01:59:52.160 another person
01:59:52.820 saying no
01:59:53.300 the results
01:59:53.820 are actually
01:59:54.400 scientifically
01:59:55.040 valid
01:59:55.660 so that
01:59:56.960 person may
01:59:57.620 actually have
01:59:58.220 bias because
01:59:58.880 they're like
01:59:59.320 emotionally attached
02:00:00.240 to all the
02:00:00.580 research they
02:00:01.200 did
02:00:01.460 who knows
02:00:01.840 this could be
02:00:03.400 like a user
02:00:04.280 bias on top
02:00:05.140 of user
02:00:05.540 bias
02:00:05.960 a user
02:00:06.360 bias
02:00:06.680 sandwich
02:00:07.140 yeah
02:00:07.560 oh
02:00:08.640 bias
02:00:09.460 the sandwich
02:00:09.980 user bias
02:00:10.680 it's the
02:00:11.060 new bond
02:00:11.520 me dude
02:00:12.080 bring it back
02:00:13.340 up I want to
02:00:13.700 see a little
02:00:14.060 bit more
02:00:14.420 information
02:00:14.880 let me see
02:00:15.420 if it tells
02:00:15.880 us
02:00:16.200 because it
02:00:17.560 is interesting
02:00:18.040 to think
02:00:18.400 though that
02:00:18.840 I noticed
02:00:19.260 after only a
02:00:20.020 week people
02:00:20.600 were getting
02:00:20.940 better
02:00:21.240 this is
02:00:21.900 allegedly
02:00:22.220 the full
02:00:22.780 record will
02:00:23.200 show that
02:00:23.500 for over a
02:00:23.820 decade we
02:00:24.200 have listened
02:00:24.680 to parents
02:00:25.160 research issues
02:00:25.840 that matter
02:00:26.180 most and
02:00:27.000 made real
02:00:27.400 changes to
02:00:27.900 protect teens
02:00:28.760 go further
02:00:29.760 see
02:00:30.140 okay the
02:00:32.500 allegation of
02:00:33.080 meta burying
02:00:33.640 evidence on
02:00:34.100 social media
02:00:34.520 harms is just
02:00:35.340 one of the
02:00:36.260 many in late
02:00:37.000 Friday filing by
02:00:39.020 Motley Rice
02:00:39.720 a law firm
02:00:40.960 suing meta
02:00:41.500 Google
02:00:41.840 TikTok
02:00:42.240 and Snapchat
02:00:42.960 on behalf
02:00:43.440 of school
02:00:43.800 districts
02:00:44.180 around the
02:00:44.760 country
02:00:45.140 wonder if we
02:00:45.860 get in touch
02:00:46.360 with them
02:00:46.640 that sounds
02:00:46.960 like kind
02:00:47.180 of an
02:00:47.380 interesting
02:00:47.720 lawsuit
02:00:48.140 doesn't it
02:00:48.700 just to
02:00:49.440 see like
02:00:49.780 what are
02:00:50.060 they
02:00:50.180 learning
02:00:50.520 and what
02:00:50.880 information
02:00:51.420 have they
02:00:51.980 learned
02:00:52.340 broadly
02:00:53.140 the
02:00:53.380 plaintiffs
02:00:53.720 argue
02:00:54.040 the companies
02:00:54.500 have
02:00:54.660 intentionally
02:00:55.160 hidden
02:00:55.480 the
02:00:55.620 internally
02:00:56.020 recognized
02:00:56.940 risks
02:00:57.380 of their
02:00:57.760 products
02:00:58.100 from users
02:00:58.800 parents
02:00:59.180 and teachers
02:00:59.900 I want to
02:01:00.740 see the
02:01:01.000 research
02:01:01.520 and I want
02:01:01.980 to see
02:01:02.380 if they
02:01:03.360 conducted
02:01:03.840 it or if
02:01:04.400 it was
02:01:04.760 conducted
02:01:05.200 by a
02:01:05.660 second
02:01:05.900 party
02:01:06.280 or third
02:01:06.640 party
02:01:06.960 that's
02:01:08.420 going to
02:01:08.640 be a
02:01:09.280 huge
02:01:09.640 part
02:01:10.020 of it
02:01:10.360 and
02:01:11.140 I mean
02:01:12.040 Australia
02:01:12.500 just recently
02:01:13.280 did a
02:01:13.800 social media
02:01:14.360 ban
02:01:14.760 I saw
02:01:15.160 that
02:01:15.340 kids
02:01:15.680 under
02:01:16.040 ages
02:01:16.580 16
02:01:17.340 I believe
02:01:18.040 why is
02:01:18.900 the Australian
02:01:19.220 government
02:01:19.540 banning
02:01:19.900 social media
02:01:20.320 for under
02:01:20.680 16s
02:01:21.380 the government
02:01:22.100 says it
02:01:22.460 will reduce
02:01:22.900 the negative
02:01:23.320 impact of
02:01:23.760 social media
02:01:24.200 design features
02:01:25.260 that encourage
02:01:25.980 young people
02:01:26.980 to spend
02:01:27.360 more time
02:01:28.020 on screens
02:01:29.060 10 platforms
02:01:31.000 are currently
02:01:31.500 included in
02:01:32.420 the ban
02:01:32.720 Facebook
02:01:33.300 Instagram
02:01:33.880 Snapchat
02:01:34.420 threads
02:01:35.120 TikTok
02:01:35.540 X
02:01:36.020 YouTube
02:01:36.380 Reddit
02:01:36.640 and streaming
02:01:37.100 platforms
02:01:37.500 like
02:01:37.680 Kik
02:01:37.900 and
02:01:38.400 Twitch
02:01:38.720 a study
02:01:39.600 it commissioned
02:01:40.140 earlier in
02:01:40.620 2025
02:01:41.040 found that
02:01:41.640 96%
02:01:42.560 of children
02:01:42.980 aged 10
02:01:43.620 to 15
02:01:44.480 use social
02:01:45.520 media
02:01:45.800 and that
02:01:46.400 7 out of
02:01:46.880 10 of them
02:01:47.220 have been
02:01:47.700 exposed to
02:01:48.240 harmful content
02:01:49.120 this includes
02:01:49.960 misogynistic
02:01:50.640 and violent
02:01:51.180 material as
02:01:51.660 well as
02:01:51.900 content
02:01:52.220 promoting
02:01:52.600 eating
02:01:52.920 disorders
02:01:53.540 and suicide
02:01:54.520 1 in 7
02:01:57.460 also reported
02:01:58.140 experiencing
02:01:58.580 grooming type
02:01:59.500 behavior from
02:02:00.040 adults or other
02:02:00.660 children and
02:02:01.500 more than half
02:02:02.000 said they've
02:02:02.300 been the victim
02:02:02.720 of cyber
02:02:03.140 bullying 0.99
02:02:03.500 shit I'm 1.00
02:02:06.260 not even a 1.00
02:02:06.660 child and
02:02:07.120 all that's
02:02:07.540 happened to
02:02:07.840 me on
02:02:08.120 there
02:02:08.340 I'm a 0.99
02:02:09.460 damn 0.99
02:02:09.660 adult 1.00
02:02:10.000 and some
02:02:10.240 of that 1.00
02:02:10.420 shit hurts 1.00
02:02:11.040 how will it 0.99
02:02:13.660 work or when
02:02:14.140 they're imposing
02:02:14.640 it I just want
02:02:15.160 to get that
02:02:15.480 information out
02:02:16.160 in this
02:02:16.580 dude go back
02:02:18.880 up it takes
02:02:19.380 meta about an
02:02:20.160 hour and 52
02:02:21.100 minutes to
02:02:21.840 make a to
02:02:22.540 make 50
02:02:23.400 million dollars
02:02:24.780 in revenue
02:02:25.340 that's Australian
02:02:26.060 revenue
02:02:26.460 that's crazy
02:02:28.660 wow
02:02:29.460 Australia's
02:02:31.320 social media
02:02:31.680 ban for
02:02:32.040 children under
02:02:32.580 16 officially
02:02:33.220 started on
02:02:33.580 December 10th
02:02:34.880 so they're
02:02:35.880 in it
02:02:36.360 if you're an
02:02:37.680 Australian kid 1.00
02:02:38.580 shit I don't 1.00
02:02:39.820 think this is 0.99
02:02:40.140 illegal to have
02:02:40.560 kids call
02:02:41.060 but call and
02:02:42.820 tell me honestly
02:02:43.420 what do you
02:02:43.740 think do you
02:02:44.200 think it's
02:02:44.500 good are you
02:02:44.900 pissed about it
02:02:45.460 what are the
02:02:45.800 feelings right
02:02:46.320 now hit me
02:02:47.520 with a couple 0.99
02:02:47.980 hit the hotline
02:02:48.860 985-664-9503
02:02:50.920 and just let
02:02:51.360 drop and don't
02:02:53.200 be some fake 0.98
02:02:54.060 weirdo pretending 0.99
02:02:55.240 with an Australian 0.98
02:02:56.000 accent who's 1.00
02:02:57.440 obviously a pervert 0.99
02:02:58.380 or whatever we
02:02:59.420 want we want
02:03:00.480 real kids to
02:03:01.420 call in okay
02:03:02.180 no I mean
02:03:03.180 Australia when
02:03:04.200 it comes to
02:03:04.660 science and
02:03:05.220 research they
02:03:05.880 they are very
02:03:06.960 thorough I went
02:03:07.560 to school there
02:03:08.200 for a year I
02:03:09.060 did I did my
02:03:10.000 junior year and
02:03:10.920 like they have
02:03:11.760 like I went
02:03:12.340 there for their
02:03:13.320 science programs
02:03:14.340 their research
02:03:14.940 programs are some
02:03:15.780 of the best in
02:03:16.340 the world so
02:03:16.920 they've actually
02:03:17.520 done proper
02:03:18.160 research to
02:03:18.820 back this up
02:03:19.460 I believe that
02:03:21.020 it's probably
02:03:21.660 valid science
02:03:22.920 and was that
02:03:23.820 in Sydney
02:03:24.240 it was in
02:03:25.080 Brisbane
02:03:25.380 oh yeah
02:03:26.460 got out
02:03:26.800 Brizzy
02:03:27.280 and uh
02:03:28.500 yeah
02:03:28.900 dude the
02:03:29.560 Brisbane Lions
02:03:30.220 dude
02:03:30.600 yeah
02:03:31.080 my AFL squad
02:03:32.580 no way
02:03:33.320 yeah
02:03:33.980 I love the
02:03:34.560 Lions
02:03:34.960 dude the
02:03:35.360 Brisbane Lions
02:03:35.800 bring them up
02:03:36.300 and the
02:03:36.540 Wallabies 0.74
02:03:37.080 oh yeah
02:03:38.380 the Brizzy Lions
02:03:39.280 dude 0.99
02:03:39.460 fucking legends 1.00
02:03:40.440 dude 1.00
02:03:40.900 bring up
02:03:41.680 Mitch
02:03:42.120 there he is
02:03:44.160 boys
02:03:44.560 class
02:03:46.320 yeah
02:03:47.020 dude yeah
02:03:49.140 I love the
02:03:49.500 Brisbane Lions
02:03:50.000 dude I went
02:03:50.400 over there
02:03:50.620 one night with
02:03:51.060 Mitch had a
02:03:51.480 good time
02:03:51.980 I love
02:03:52.720 Australia
02:03:53.120 brother
02:03:53.360 it's great
02:03:54.200 yeah I miss
02:03:55.200 it
02:03:55.420 I'm gonna go
02:03:56.000 back some
02:03:56.540 hopefully next
02:03:57.360 year
02:03:57.680 um
02:03:58.720 did you find
02:03:59.820 are you married
02:04:00.340 yes
02:04:01.020 okay
02:04:01.620 yeah
02:04:02.120 is there a
02:04:03.100 Stephen Wilson
02:04:03.520 the third
02:04:04.000 no there isn't
02:04:05.420 no
02:04:05.760 there isn't
02:04:06.260 no I don't
02:04:06.900 have any
02:04:07.340 uh biological
02:04:08.420 children I have a
02:04:09.200 stepson named
02:04:09.820 Henry
02:04:10.160 okay
02:04:10.540 I've uh
02:04:12.060 been helping
02:04:12.920 raise since
02:04:14.380 he was about
02:04:15.080 four years
02:04:15.740 old
02:04:16.060 and uh
02:04:16.680 oh nice
02:04:17.400 he's my
02:04:17.960 boy and
02:04:18.500 um
02:04:19.480 yeah
02:04:20.460 pretty cool
02:04:21.080 kid
02:04:21.320 incredibly cool
02:04:22.580 kid he's such
02:04:23.260 a great kid
02:04:23.840 I'm very
02:04:24.340 very blessed
02:04:25.740 um
02:04:26.260 what do you
02:04:26.520 admire about
02:04:27.100 him
02:04:27.300 um
02:04:28.680 he's well
02:04:29.520 he's so
02:04:30.420 different from
02:04:31.060 me in the
02:04:31.760 best ways
02:04:32.440 he's he's
02:04:33.100 very um
02:04:33.900 very intelligent
02:04:35.580 and very
02:04:36.540 collected
02:04:37.380 and calm
02:04:38.320 um
02:04:39.140 and very um
02:04:40.500 I I would
02:04:42.980 say he's
02:04:43.700 more ordered
02:04:44.360 than I am
02:04:45.540 um
02:04:46.320 in a lot
02:04:47.800 of ways
02:04:48.260 he's he's
02:04:48.900 got I
02:04:49.760 I think
02:04:50.340 this incredible
02:04:52.280 constitution
02:04:53.060 about him
02:04:54.040 and uh
02:04:54.780 he's he's got
02:04:55.400 a very calm
02:04:56.140 constitution
02:04:57.080 um
02:04:57.840 which is
02:04:58.220 not what I
02:04:59.180 grew up around
02:04:59.880 like I grew up
02:05:00.700 around a lot
02:05:01.780 of noise
02:05:02.520 and a lot
02:05:03.100 of chaos
02:05:03.700 and a lot
02:05:04.320 of energy
02:05:04.820 and uh
02:05:06.060 he is
02:05:06.580 he's like
02:05:07.380 um
02:05:07.740 he's like
02:05:09.000 a rock
02:05:09.700 in a raging
02:05:10.760 river
02:05:11.140 that will
02:05:11.760 not move
02:05:12.480 you know
02:05:13.160 and I just
02:05:13.680 I love that
02:05:14.400 about him
02:05:14.860 and he's
02:05:15.500 he's a
02:05:16.100 a very
02:05:17.040 strong
02:05:17.800 and smart 0.77
02:05:18.640 young man
02:05:19.360 very much
02:05:20.280 into
02:05:20.560 muay thai
02:05:21.280 kickboxing
02:05:21.860 and uh
02:05:22.520 we started
02:05:23.000 in boxing
02:05:23.680 and yeah
02:05:25.340 he's
02:05:25.900 he's my
02:05:26.340 dude
02:05:26.640 and my
02:05:27.100 dad was
02:05:27.600 a stepfather
02:05:29.000 not just a
02:05:29.600 father
02:05:29.900 he had
02:05:30.340 he remarried
02:05:31.440 after my
02:05:31.860 mother
02:05:32.140 and a
02:05:33.180 couple times
02:05:33.700 he didn't
02:05:34.020 have the best
02:05:34.480 luck
02:05:34.700 with the
02:05:35.000 ladies 0.99
02:05:35.340 but uh
02:05:36.200 a couple
02:05:37.220 of his
02:05:37.540 wives
02:05:37.900 had
02:05:38.420 stepchildren
02:05:39.040 and um
02:05:40.000 and I
02:05:40.940 he really
02:05:41.480 taught me
02:05:41.900 how to be
02:05:42.340 a good
02:05:42.680 stepfather
02:05:43.340 I gotta say
02:05:44.080 well not by
02:05:44.500 teaching me
02:05:45.420 but just by
02:05:46.220 example
02:05:46.720 like his
02:05:47.620 faith was
02:05:48.260 led by his
02:05:48.920 works
02:05:49.300 not his
02:05:49.700 words
02:05:50.080 you know
02:05:50.360 what's one of
02:05:50.780 the toughest
02:05:51.000 things about
02:05:51.300 being a
02:05:51.580 stepfather
02:05:52.000 kind of
02:05:52.340 that people
02:05:52.660 don't really
02:05:53.080 see or
02:05:54.020 that they
02:05:54.580 may see
02:05:55.020 and you
02:05:55.240 may have
02:05:55.480 your own
02:05:56.000 that you
02:05:56.500 may have
02:05:56.720 some
02:05:56.900 specific
02:05:57.700 thoughts
02:05:58.060 about
02:05:58.380 um
02:05:59.360 well
02:06:00.420 I mean
02:06:00.980 I was
02:06:01.340 not just
02:06:01.760 a step
02:06:02.520 I'm not
02:06:03.640 just a
02:06:03.940 stepfather
02:06:04.380 I was
02:06:04.660 a step
02:06:04.960 child
02:06:05.440 so I
02:06:06.220 remember
02:06:06.560 the
02:06:07.100 perspective
02:06:07.620 as a
02:06:08.300 step
02:06:08.500 child
02:06:08.820 so I
02:06:09.180 go into
02:06:09.740 my
02:06:10.040 step
02:06:10.400 parenthood
02:06:10.960 as a
02:06:11.580 step
02:06:11.940 child
02:06:12.320 oh
02:06:12.780 okay
02:06:13.120 so I
02:06:13.940 have
02:06:14.140 something
02:06:14.520 that a
02:06:15.560 lot of
02:06:15.900 step
02:06:16.100 parents
02:06:16.440 don't
02:06:16.800 have
02:06:17.100 I
02:06:17.300 have
02:06:17.520 like
02:06:17.720 a
02:06:17.880 really
02:06:18.160 unique
02:06:18.560 perspective
02:06:19.120 of what
02:06:19.600 it
02:06:19.720 was
02:06:19.880 like
02:06:20.240 to
02:06:20.780 grow
02:06:21.020 up
02:06:21.240 with
02:06:21.820 step
02:06:22.120 parents
02:06:22.480 R&D
02:06:22.620 you've done
02:06:22.880 the R&D
02:06:23.260 yeah
02:06:23.440 I've done
02:06:23.720 the R&D
02:06:24.240 I've had
02:06:24.580 the
02:06:24.720 experience
02:06:25.120 I've had
02:06:25.480 multiple
02:06:25.960 step
02:06:26.320 parents
02:06:26.700 I didn't
02:06:27.020 just have
02:06:27.400 I didn't
02:06:28.100 just have
02:06:28.420 one set
02:06:29.060 I had
02:06:29.380 a trial
02:06:29.620 sample
02:06:29.980 I like
02:06:30.520 yeah
02:06:30.860 I had
02:06:31.180 a lot
02:06:31.920 of
02:06:32.100 variability
02:06:32.840 variables
02:06:33.420 yeah
02:06:33.720 okay
02:06:34.080 there we
02:06:34.360 got some
02:06:35.500 good data
02:06:36.040 there
02:06:36.400 and
02:06:37.200 one thing
02:06:38.860 I just
02:06:39.140 remember
02:06:39.600 and this
02:06:40.760 was never
02:06:41.160 a conversation
02:06:42.040 my dad
02:06:43.540 just loved
02:06:44.320 his step
02:06:46.060 children
02:06:46.380 like us
02:06:47.040 there was
02:06:47.380 never
02:06:47.620 like
02:06:47.960 I feel
02:06:49.060 like a
02:06:49.360 lot of
02:06:49.700 step
02:06:50.120 parents
02:06:50.700 if they
02:06:51.420 have
02:06:51.640 biological
02:06:52.120 children
02:06:52.680 and step
02:06:53.480 children
02:06:53.820 they will
02:06:54.300 be like
02:06:55.740 well I love
02:06:56.280 you just
02:06:56.760 like I
02:06:57.220 love him
02:06:57.760 and they'll
02:06:58.420 say that
02:06:59.040 he never
02:07:00.300 said that
02:07:00.840 that I
02:07:01.140 can remember
02:07:01.820 he just
02:07:02.780 did
02:07:03.260 that
02:07:04.180 that was
02:07:04.700 what his
02:07:05.420 that's the
02:07:06.760 lesson that I
02:07:07.620 learned is that
02:07:08.680 it has nothing
02:07:09.860 to do with
02:07:10.360 words
02:07:10.780 it has everything
02:07:11.320 to do with
02:07:11.920 your actions
02:07:12.580 and so I
02:07:14.200 really just
02:07:14.680 tried to
02:07:15.520 be the
02:07:17.580 best step
02:07:18.080 father
02:07:18.340 I can
02:07:18.760 not talk
02:07:19.380 about being
02:07:20.080 a step
02:07:20.500 father
02:07:20.740 I talk
02:07:21.320 about
02:07:21.660 anything
02:07:22.380 just be
02:07:23.540 just be
02:07:24.220 and
02:07:24.740 yeah I
02:07:25.700 think it's
02:07:26.000 I think
02:07:26.360 it's tough
02:07:26.760 it's like
02:07:27.340 sometimes it's
02:07:29.180 easier for me
02:07:29.560 to love a
02:07:29.960 stranger than
02:07:30.620 it is like
02:07:31.240 somebody close
02:07:32.460 to me I
02:07:32.860 feel like in a
02:07:33.400 weird way
02:07:33.820 yeah
02:07:34.060 yeah I mean
02:07:35.240 there's you
02:07:36.720 know familiarity
02:07:37.540 breeds contempt
02:07:38.940 that's an old
02:07:39.980 saying and you
02:07:41.180 know the more
02:07:41.580 familiar you
02:07:42.700 become with
02:07:43.260 somebody the
02:07:43.920 more contemptuous
02:07:44.880 you can
02:07:45.340 become
02:07:46.020 oh yes
02:07:46.920 naturally
02:07:47.460 yeah so
02:07:48.920 like a
02:07:49.300 stranger is
02:07:50.120 without
02:07:50.820 contempt
02:07:51.320 because there's
02:07:52.260 no familiarity
02:07:52.980 there and
02:07:54.040 you know that's
02:07:56.000 I guess the
02:07:56.660 kind of the
02:07:57.900 battle of love
02:07:58.980 because the more
02:07:59.700 you love somebody
02:08:00.660 the more familiar
02:08:01.420 you become with
02:08:02.680 them and
02:08:03.840 like I guess
02:08:05.220 that is
02:08:05.580 I know
02:08:06.080 like how do you
02:08:06.980 balance contempt
02:08:08.020 and love
02:08:08.840 because contempt
02:08:10.180 is gonna
02:08:10.740 kind of creep
02:08:11.600 its way in
02:08:12.220 or some
02:08:12.660 somehow
02:08:13.420 resentment
02:08:14.100 something
02:08:14.520 negative
02:08:15.780 will come in
02:08:16.540 there
02:08:16.820 the more
02:08:17.600 and more
02:08:17.920 you love
02:08:18.380 somebody
02:08:18.880 and you know
02:08:20.520 maybe that's
02:08:21.060 just you know
02:08:21.800 the darkness
02:08:22.300 balancing out
02:08:23.360 the light
02:08:23.820 but you know
02:08:25.180 I think just
02:08:26.120 acknowledging it
02:08:27.100 and knowing
02:08:27.560 that it's there
02:08:28.240 is really
02:08:29.140 the big part
02:08:29.820 of it
02:08:30.100 because like
02:08:30.540 the fear
02:08:31.920 or the
02:08:32.480 panic behind
02:08:33.740 it is the
02:08:34.140 lack of
02:08:34.540 understanding
02:08:35.140 behind it
02:08:35.960 really fear
02:08:37.020 is most of
02:08:37.680 the time
02:08:37.960 just the
02:08:38.280 lack of
02:08:38.680 understanding
02:08:39.280 and fear
02:08:41.580 sometimes they're
02:08:42.140 standing there
02:08:42.680 and you don't
02:08:43.020 it's like
02:08:43.440 if you really
02:08:43.920 looked at it
02:08:44.580 for a bit
02:08:45.080 but sometimes
02:08:47.200 I'll just
02:08:47.540 feel a fear
02:08:48.280 and react
02:08:49.080 I'll do that
02:08:49.820 for decades
02:08:50.700 without really
02:08:51.760 looking
02:08:51.920 what's going
02:08:52.420 on here
02:08:52.920 what's really
02:08:53.900 got me here
02:08:54.480 what am I
02:08:54.800 you know
02:08:55.260 and sometimes
02:08:56.220 just you can
02:08:56.900 figure it out
02:08:57.500 and you're
02:08:57.820 free of it
02:08:58.940 you know
02:08:59.660 you can at least
02:09:00.400 have a
02:09:00.680 see when it's
02:09:01.600 standing there
02:09:02.240 you know
02:09:02.900 but I'll let a 1.00
02:09:03.460 damn thing 0.99
02:09:03.780 Michael Myers 1.00
02:09:04.520 me out there
02:09:05.000 forever
02:09:05.380 and I won't
02:09:06.520 even go out
02:09:07.040 there and
02:09:07.280 realize
02:09:07.520 this is just 0.98
02:09:08.020 a damn 0.99
02:09:08.340 cardboard 1.00
02:09:08.800 cutout
02:09:09.380 of some 1.00
02:09:10.120 old bullshit 1.00
02:09:10.760 it's 1.00
02:09:11.540 not even 0.94
02:09:11.800 fucking 0.98
02:09:12.120 nothing's 0.99
02:09:12.740 even in
02:09:13.040 this costume
02:09:13.620 anymore
02:09:14.060 and I've
02:09:14.860 still been
02:09:15.380 acting
02:09:16.080 this way
02:09:16.940 because part
02:09:17.920 of me
02:09:18.320 I get
02:09:20.000 something out
02:09:20.460 of pretending
02:09:20.820 that that's
02:09:21.220 still real
02:09:21.720 too
02:09:22.020 I get an
02:09:23.220 excuse
02:09:23.660 you know
02:09:24.340 I get to
02:09:25.220 keep living
02:09:25.660 my life
02:09:26.080 a certain
02:09:26.460 way
02:09:26.860 when I
02:09:27.640 pretend
02:09:28.120 that that
02:09:29.180 old boogeyman
02:09:30.420 is still
02:09:31.360 new
02:09:31.740 you know
02:09:32.260 not saying
02:09:33.000 that that
02:09:33.280 happens a lot
02:09:33.840 but I'm just
02:09:34.240 saying that
02:09:34.640 that
02:09:34.960 that hasn't
02:09:36.880 not been
02:09:37.220 a part of
02:09:37.540 my story
02:09:37.920 at times
02:09:38.300 probably
02:09:38.640 and sometimes
02:09:38.980 I didn't
02:09:39.200 realize it
02:09:39.860 it's wild
02:09:41.260 what the
02:09:41.580 mind can
02:09:42.160 do
02:09:42.400 like my
02:09:43.740 dad took
02:09:44.600 me deer
02:09:44.980 hunting
02:09:45.240 and I
02:09:45.640 think that
02:09:46.000 was the
02:09:46.500 best thing
02:09:47.960 he could
02:09:48.300 have done
02:09:48.640 for me
02:09:49.020 it's just
02:09:49.760 the boxing
02:09:50.280 you know
02:09:51.080 you deal
02:09:52.600 with a lot
02:09:52.920 of fear
02:09:53.220 in boxing
02:09:53.760 because you
02:09:54.340 don't understand
02:09:54.960 certain things
02:09:55.640 but I remember
02:09:56.840 like you know
02:09:58.240 when you go
02:09:58.580 deer hunting
02:09:59.100 you go out
02:10:00.200 especially if you
02:10:01.320 morning hunt
02:10:02.480 you go out
02:10:03.740 about an hour
02:10:04.240 before sunrise
02:10:05.440 into a
02:10:06.260 pitch black
02:10:07.320 woods
02:10:07.760 and you'll
02:10:09.120 walk a quarter
02:10:09.840 mile into a
02:10:10.780 pitch black
02:10:11.320 woods
02:10:11.760 and my dad
02:10:12.980 would post me
02:10:13.540 up against a
02:10:14.120 tree
02:10:14.440 with a shotgun
02:10:16.240 in my hand
02:10:16.940 not even a tree
02:10:17.840 stand or anything
02:10:18.740 post me up
02:10:20.060 against a tree
02:10:20.600 and then he
02:10:21.040 would go off
02:10:21.680 about 500
02:10:22.500 yards of the
02:10:23.160 way
02:10:23.320 because he'd
02:10:23.700 have to be
02:10:24.020 far away
02:10:24.640 because I 0.85
02:10:25.000 could shoot 1.00
02:10:25.420 him or he 1.00
02:10:25.860 could shoot 1.00
02:10:26.220 me 1.00
02:10:26.460 like you
02:10:26.820 gotta be
02:10:27.500 you can't
02:10:28.520 be in range
02:10:29.260 of each
02:10:29.580 other's shot
02:10:30.340 because we're 0.96
02:10:31.060 shooting slugs 0.76
02:10:31.920 and um 0.96
02:10:33.240 but I just
02:10:34.160 remember like
02:10:34.780 okay getting
02:10:35.420 out there
02:10:35.960 an hour
02:10:36.620 before sunrise
02:10:37.740 it would be
02:10:38.240 pitch black
02:10:39.000 and he would
02:10:39.420 walk me out
02:10:40.080 to this tree
02:10:40.820 and you
02:10:41.680 couldn't see
02:10:42.120 nothing
02:10:42.580 like I remember
02:10:43.540 thinking like
02:10:44.140 he would walk
02:10:44.680 out here by
02:10:45.220 himself all the
02:10:45.960 time and I
02:10:46.460 was like man
02:10:47.020 that's crazy
02:10:47.620 and uh and he
02:10:49.060 would sit me up
02:10:49.640 against a tree
02:10:50.320 in the pitch
02:10:50.900 black and it 0.97
02:10:51.880 would just be
02:10:52.420 pitch black
02:10:53.220 and then he
02:10:53.740 would go off
02:10:54.520 into his tree
02:10:56.060 and I would be
02:10:57.380 there for at
02:10:58.060 least 45 minutes
02:10:59.420 in the darkest
02:11:00.800 woods you can
02:11:01.780 imagine
02:11:02.260 hearing everything
02:11:04.500 crackle and
02:11:06.500 move around
02:11:07.680 shuffle through
02:11:08.520 leaves
02:11:09.060 is that a
02:11:10.120 wild boar
02:11:11.180 is that
02:11:11.740 is that
02:11:12.200 you know
02:11:12.500 is that a 1.00
02:11:13.940 hooker 0.90
02:11:14.340 is that a 0.99
02:11:15.160 cougar
02:11:15.540 you'd hope it 1.00
02:11:16.960 was a hooker 1.00
02:11:17.440 but it never 0.98
02:11:17.960 was dude
02:11:18.440 it was like a
02:11:19.020 boar
02:11:19.540 or just a
02:11:20.680 squirrel
02:11:21.040 yeah or a
02:11:22.160 raccoon
02:11:22.760 like it had
02:11:23.220 gotten shoes
02:11:23.920 somewhere
02:11:24.380 like a
02:11:24.880 rabid raccoon
02:11:26.160 but no I just
02:11:28.080 remember then
02:11:28.660 then the the
02:11:30.120 sun would
02:11:30.600 slowly start to
02:11:31.520 come up and
02:11:32.080 the light
02:11:32.600 you would start
02:11:33.940 to understand
02:11:34.780 the woods that
02:11:35.700 you didn't have
02:11:36.440 understanding of
02:11:37.340 like 45 minutes
02:11:38.380 ago and you'd
02:11:39.860 start to see it
02:11:40.900 and then it was
02:11:41.740 like okay it
02:11:42.360 become literally
02:11:43.320 as the more and
02:11:44.060 more light crept
02:11:44.800 into the woods
02:11:45.380 the more
02:11:46.080 understanding you
02:11:47.080 you got of
02:11:47.860 the woods and
02:11:48.440 what it looked
02:11:48.940 like what it
02:11:49.900 was made of
02:11:50.520 what kind of
02:11:50.980 trees what kind
02:11:51.680 of animals that
02:11:52.780 were making all
02:11:53.440 these sounds and
02:11:54.140 by you know by
02:11:55.320 the time the sun
02:11:56.020 was up there was
02:11:57.220 nothing in that
02:11:58.120 woods that was
02:11:58.700 scaring you
02:11:59.360 anymore so it
02:12:00.220 was really you
02:12:01.040 know your fear
02:12:01.660 was what you
02:12:02.940 didn't understand
02:12:03.780 and what you
02:12:04.440 couldn't see the
02:12:05.100 woods did not
02:12:05.800 change in the
02:12:06.960 presence of
02:12:07.620 light the lack
02:12:09.240 thereof it was
02:12:10.220 the exact same
02:12:11.160 woods that it
02:12:11.980 was 45 minutes
02:12:13.060 ago because the
02:12:14.440 squirrels don't
02:12:15.240 care about dark
02:12:16.680 and light you
02:12:17.360 know they just
02:12:17.820 they live you
02:12:19.600 know oh yeah
02:12:20.200 they're always up 1.00
02:12:20.820 to some bullshit 1.00
02:12:21.540 or whatever 1.00
02:12:21.940 yeah they ain't
02:12:22.840 afraid of the
02:12:25.100 dark yeah
02:12:26.260 they ain't afraid
02:12:27.420 of other men
02:12:28.240 either apparently
02:12:29.020 some of these
02:12:29.660 young bucks I've
02:12:30.700 seen a lot of
02:12:31.400 squirrels gerbils
02:12:32.280 gosh oh you
02:12:33.640 catch me a little 0.99
02:12:34.200 craziest richard 0.77
02:12:35.780 gear baby oh
02:12:37.060 those are the
02:12:38.640 old days dude
02:12:39.380 remember how there
02:12:39.920 was crazy rumors
02:12:40.740 yeah I know we
02:12:41.520 were just talking
02:12:42.080 about that like
02:12:42.520 richard gear's 0.99
02:12:43.280 gay used to put 1.00
02:12:43.920 squirrels up his 1.00
02:12:44.420 butt or whatever 0.99
02:12:44.780 and people like
02:12:45.220 what but somehow
02:12:46.740 that made it around
02:12:48.120 society now I
02:12:50.040 know yeah I don't
02:12:50.920 know yeah that was
02:12:52.220 that made it to my
02:12:53.240 tiny little small
02:12:54.380 town in southern
02:12:55.520 Indiana we were
02:12:56.420 just like what
02:12:57.060 are we talking
02:12:57.840 about I guess
02:12:58.540 maybe that is the
02:12:59.680 downside of social
02:13:01.360 media is that 1.00
02:13:02.000 those old bullshit 1.00
02:13:03.460 rumors don't come 1.00
02:13:04.460 up anymore because
02:13:05.140 someone would
02:13:05.580 eventually they 0.98
02:13:06.220 would shoot him
02:13:06.680 down immediately 0.85
02:13:07.460 it would it'd be
02:13:08.720 all over tiktok in
02:13:09.760 a day and then
02:13:10.480 someone would be
02:13:11.000 like yeah
02:13:11.880 someone would be
02:13:12.520 like this is a 1.00
02:13:13.040 bunch of bullshit 1.00
02:13:13.800 yeah and then be 1.00
02:13:14.840 like you used to
02:13:15.400 be able to lie to
02:13:16.020 people yeah my
02:13:16.980 dad's a skydiver
02:13:18.020 yeah like oh he'll
02:13:20.320 be home any minute
02:13:21.120 lie to people all the
02:13:23.640 time you'd be like
02:13:24.560 I'm a lawyer they'd be
02:13:25.320 like you're in
02:13:25.680 seventh grade what
02:13:26.400 are you talking
02:13:26.800 about you're like
02:13:27.440 yeah whatever
02:13:28.080 the defense rests
02:13:29.580 Doogie Howser you
02:13:30.560 heard of it
02:13:31.200 Doogie Howser was
02:13:31.800 good huh that
02:13:32.480 show you could
02:13:32.980 become a doctor at
02:13:33.960 like age 12 yeah
02:13:35.600 like man the world
02:13:36.620 was wild they just
02:13:37.780 did whatever they
02:13:39.960 want to in the 90s
02:13:41.380 Richard Gere
02:13:42.500 gerbils children 0.99
02:13:44.400 doctors Doogie
02:13:45.340 Howser to be young 0.96
02:13:47.200 huh yeah saved by
02:13:48.440 the bell oh I saw
02:13:50.340 I was at the UFC
02:13:50.840 fights the other day
02:13:51.400 and I saw Mario
02:13:53.980 Lopez oh wow
02:13:55.020 crazy every time I
02:13:55.820 see him he looks
02:13:56.560 younger than when he
02:13:57.260 was working on
02:13:58.780 he's got like his
02:13:59.520 mullet back he's just 0.99
02:14:00.880 walking through
02:14:01.480 like what grade he
02:14:02.800 is he's like in
02:14:03.520 seventh eighth grade
02:14:04.720 now still wearing like
02:14:05.480 those leotards and
02:14:06.580 stuff the unitards
02:14:07.540 yeah the unitards
02:14:08.340 yeah bro he looks
02:14:09.240 even better than that
02:14:10.000 now I don't even know
02:14:10.440 what happened
02:14:10.860 incredible yeah he was
02:14:12.440 like yeah he's every
02:14:13.900 ethnicity too looks like
02:14:15.040 he's still captain of the
02:14:16.080 wrestling team oh dude
02:14:17.820 dude oh god yeah oh
02:14:19.620 geez sorry but yeah
02:14:21.100 guy looks healthy
02:14:21.820 what I'm saying is
02:14:22.740 this whatever dude I
02:14:23.800 like women but what 1.00
02:14:24.860 I'm what I'm telling
02:14:25.900 you is um will you
02:14:29.780 have will you have a
02:14:30.560 kids you're on your
02:14:31.280 thing um I don't know
02:14:33.460 I'm I'm pretty good I
02:14:34.880 think you know we've
02:14:35.880 talked about it um
02:14:37.340 we've also talked about
02:14:38.160 adopting kids but but
02:14:39.980 you know I don't know
02:14:41.240 I've um I got a lot
02:14:43.140 going on right now I
02:14:44.360 got Henry I've I've
02:14:45.660 raised I mean I know
02:14:46.580 what it's like to raise
02:14:47.760 a child I know what
02:14:49.480 it's like to love a
02:14:50.720 child I know what it's
02:14:52.240 like for a child to
02:14:53.220 love me I'm not
02:14:53.920 missing anything got
02:14:55.020 it um so um but you
02:14:58.540 never know you know
02:14:59.340 you never know think you
02:15:00.160 know that we we could
02:15:01.380 have a child um but
02:15:03.760 right now my life is
02:15:04.980 very very busy and um
02:15:08.140 I think I have other
02:15:10.660 things that I'm supposed
02:15:11.760 to be doing right now
02:15:13.140 rather than raising a
02:15:15.380 baby at the at this
02:15:16.720 particular moment in my
02:15:17.920 life and um and I
02:15:20.240 have some I have a lot
02:15:21.220 of work to do right now
02:15:22.340 and uh maybe maybe a
02:15:24.260 child will be in the
02:15:24.960 future that's fair but
02:15:26.520 um but you asked about
02:15:29.300 nieces and nephews yes I
02:15:30.860 do um I have quite a
02:15:32.480 like all my siblings have
02:15:34.400 children and um yep I'm
02:15:37.020 wild uncle Stephen that
02:15:38.880 goes around the world
02:15:40.220 singing his songs they're
02:15:41.360 a little bit I'm sure
02:15:42.940 they're like what the
02:15:44.060 hell is this dude 0.84
02:15:44.900 because all my family 0.76
02:15:46.260 like are still in my
02:15:47.540 hometown they work on
02:15:48.640 cars and they're very
02:15:50.460 it's very much a small
02:15:51.680 town life and then my 0.99
02:15:54.040 weird ass does what he 0.99
02:15:55.880 does but they they love 1.00
02:15:57.140 it though oh I bet
02:15:57.800 they're so proud of you
02:15:58.500 it's cool oh yeah they
02:15:59.820 they I don't think they
02:16:01.260 know what to think about
02:16:02.340 any of it because they've
02:16:03.280 seen me kind of live
02:16:04.220 multiple lives in front of
02:16:05.660 them that's been one
02:16:06.500 wild thing to see because
02:16:08.560 my siblings had their
02:16:09.980 children very young just
02:16:11.220 like my my parents did
02:16:13.320 and so my niece a lot of
02:16:15.260 my nieces and nephews are
02:16:16.360 older now so that they
02:16:17.820 remember me when I was a
02:16:19.260 scientist and that's all
02:16:20.460 I was doing and then
02:16:21.680 they remember when I quit
02:16:23.100 my science job and I was
02:16:24.400 waiting tables and
02:16:25.380 bartending and just
02:16:27.320 trying to get a publishing
02:16:28.180 deal and then they
02:16:28.920 remember the guy that got
02:16:30.020 a publishing deal and was
02:16:30.980 writing songs for other
02:16:32.120 people and my dad
02:16:33.920 recording them on the big
02:16:35.040 phone and all that and
02:16:36.560 now there's this chapter so
02:16:38.560 they've kind of got to see
02:16:39.680 their uncle go through
02:16:40.880 multiple identities so if
02:16:43.260 anything I hope that it's
02:16:44.380 been you know helpful for
02:16:45.780 them to see that you're
02:16:47.580 not stuck in any
02:16:48.600 particular life like you
02:16:50.960 can live multiple lives you
02:16:52.460 can do all kinds of
02:16:53.660 things you know amen man
02:16:56.520 and I think it's important
02:16:57.940 for them to see that you
02:16:59.580 know you know life has
02:17:02.540 chapters it's not one
02:17:04.080 chapter you know and you
02:17:06.060 you're writing your own
02:17:07.300 book and you can make the
02:17:09.180 chapters as long as you
02:17:10.180 want but there are only so
02:17:11.900 many pages and uh amen
02:17:14.380 amen indeed well thank you
02:17:17.000 for helping us think about
02:17:17.900 stuff man and for giving us
02:17:19.300 some uh of your music over
02:17:20.580 the years dude I'd love to
02:17:21.380 get together and we could
02:17:22.040 talk again sometime I feel
02:17:23.020 like there's other avenues of
02:17:24.520 things we could talk about
02:17:25.500 yeah and sometimes I realize
02:17:27.000 it's better you know to just
02:17:28.420 get together and talk again
02:17:29.780 sometime yeah so that way we
02:17:31.360 could go down different roads
02:17:32.460 and think about other stuff I
02:17:34.140 think today it's been nice to
02:17:35.180 just talk about like yeah
02:17:37.060 relate like familiar
02:17:38.420 relationships and how some
02:17:40.420 things can influence you and
02:17:42.460 yeah what it's like living like
02:17:43.900 your father's dream out um we
02:17:47.440 never talked about the theory
02:17:48.220 of evolution but we can get to
02:17:49.100 that next time maybe yeah we
02:17:50.340 can I'll put a whole presentation
02:17:52.340 for you together well I'll do a
02:17:54.420 more R&D while you're gone I
02:17:55.580 think I might hit a petting zoo
02:17:57.240 or something while you're gone
02:17:58.140 and see if I can get a little
02:17:59.840 bit more come on research done
02:18:02.200 dude um well I gotta say I
02:18:03.840 probably owe you money because I
02:18:05.400 feel like I could have paid a
02:18:06.840 therapist a lot of money I've
02:18:08.460 never had therapy in my life but
02:18:10.040 really I probably do need it uh
02:18:12.240 haven't but you said something
02:18:13.560 that was so like insane earlier um
02:18:16.540 about the quiet part you know about
02:18:19.800 do you think um you know you were
02:18:23.540 quiet because you didn't want to
02:18:26.580 affect the world around you yeah I
02:18:29.340 think like I like I said that
02:18:30.880 that really rocked my world so to
02:18:34.160 speak I'll be thinking about that
02:18:35.420 for a long time um there's certain
02:18:37.860 things that we as songwriters say to
02:18:40.080 some sometimes that somebody and it
02:18:42.160 it kind of flips a switch or it makes
02:18:45.220 them think about something they've
02:18:46.560 thought about for a long time totally
02:18:48.680 differently and that that was a
02:18:51.380 paradigm shift and I thank you for it
02:18:53.260 so if anything I walked away with a
02:18:55.920 an incredible piece of knowledge
02:18:59.060 that I like I said I could have
02:19:00.480 could have never even found in
02:19:02.680 therapy and if I had it would have
02:19:04.580 cost a lot of money so thank you I
02:19:07.580 owe you one you're welcome man no
02:19:09.180 you've all you've already you've
02:19:10.560 paid me you paid in advance dude so
02:19:12.860 many times I've listened to your
02:19:13.940 songs in moments where I needed
02:19:15.020 something or to process something or
02:19:16.760 just to remember my father you know
02:19:18.640 like I like you know one thing about
02:19:20.780 my dad I remember he liked to whistle
02:19:22.220 and he had change in his pockets all
02:19:25.380 the time so if I hear change you don't
02:19:27.200 hear change in people's pockets
02:19:28.360 anymore they used to be a thing you
02:19:29.620 know like a older man enough change in
02:19:31.500 his keys in his pockets and now like a
02:19:33.700 lot of car doors are just auto entry and
02:19:35.780 it's hooked to your phone and people
02:19:37.720 don't have change anymore but that like
02:19:39.720 when I want to think about my dad I'll
02:19:41.140 like that's one of the first things I'll
02:19:42.340 lay there and think about is the sound
02:19:44.380 of change in somebody's pocket kind of
02:19:46.140 you know but um that was his song yeah
02:19:49.080 yeah that was his song that was like
02:19:51.280 my dad always whistled he always had a
02:19:52.760 song in his head he was always
02:19:54.320 whistling a song or humming a song or
02:19:56.600 singing a song he like he was a song
02:19:59.200 like you know he's either riding a song
02:20:01.180 wave or or just you know being a song
02:20:05.020 without being one yeah but you know like
02:20:07.780 you know but yeah there there was always
02:20:09.400 like a sound to him it sounds like your
02:20:11.700 dad had the same sound oh yeah he was a
02:20:14.420 joyous instrument but yeah if we think
02:20:16.620 of ourselves as a song it's like what
02:20:17.800 song am I when I go into the room with
02:20:19.460 people and you know and you can be
02:20:20.720 different songs sometimes you're a
02:20:21.800 separate song maybe when it's just you
02:20:22.920 by yourself or or your music's kind of
02:20:24.900 off and you're just sort of listening
02:20:26.120 but yeah it's like what kind of song do
02:20:27.760 I bring into the world you know and
02:20:29.940 then do I just play the same song over
02:20:31.300 and over again and maybe I do that
02:20:32.560 because I just it's therapeutic to
02:20:34.640 myself you know um yeah I don't know
02:20:37.940 it's but it's been fascinating man it's
02:20:40.140 been fascinating to be a fan of yours
02:20:41.540 it's been fascinating to um get to share
02:20:44.340 your music with other people I've done
02:20:45.560 that a bunch to connect with them thank
02:20:47.220 you you know tell my brother like hey
02:20:48.940 man I love this song you know and and
02:20:51.020 then he can call me back and like I'll
02:20:52.860 see why you like it you know and just
02:20:54.480 things like that that uh that can bring
02:20:57.000 people closer together so thank you so
02:20:58.400 much man thank you you shared this music
02:21:00.300 our music my music a lot on your show
02:21:03.140 and you've talked about it a lot I remember
02:21:04.900 and Lambert was in and we both loved you
02:21:06.660 and we've yeah well everybody loves to
02:21:08.180 talk about you behind your back Stephen
02:21:09.600 so I figured we would do it in front of
02:21:11.200 you well I'm grateful either way that
02:21:13.480 anybody is talking about this music and
02:21:15.560 you've you've been an early champion
02:21:18.060 oh well I don't know if that's true
02:21:20.800 but thank you dude and Evan Bartels is
02:21:22.980 another great guy if you're listening to
02:21:24.080 any of his music yeah god I mean there's
02:21:26.540 just some people that can just make me
02:21:28.020 feel something you know and uh so thank
02:21:31.460 you dude thank you for helping us feel
02:21:32.620 if would you honor us and play a song or
02:21:34.320 two before you leave let's do it let's
02:21:36.080 go all right let's do it let's play some
02:21:38.840 Gary let's do it man ladies and gentlemen
02:21:43.160 Stephen Wilson jr thank you sir
02:21:47.400 Gary these days been lying in his bed man
02:22:01.280 working on the same car going on a decade
02:22:06.920 scribbles on drum mount don't draw attention
02:22:12.680 I never really noticed but now that I mention it
02:22:19.680 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days born with a cigarette glued to their face
02:22:27.760 fixing about anything a hammer can't handle saving all the money cause a Gary don't gamble
02:22:33.800 ain't a lot of girls going by Debbie anymore but they got the same nicotine pouring out their pours 1.00
02:22:40.800 time leaves town but the minute hand stays
02:22:44.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days
02:22:50.800 Gary these days been worried about the bad news
02:23:00.800 there ain't a lot of boys
02:23:02.800 there ain't a lot of teenagers filling up the church pews
02:23:07.800 burning bush lights don't talk to his brother
02:23:13.800 the people even still say grace before supper
02:23:17.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days born with a cigarette glued to their face
02:23:22.800 fixing about anything a hammer can't handle saving all the money cause a Gary don't gamble
02:23:28.800 gamble ain't a lot of girls going by Debbie anymore but they got the same nicotine pouring out their pours 1.00
02:23:35.800 time leaves town but the minute hand stays
02:23:39.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days
02:23:45.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days 0.96
02:23:56.800 every now and then gets a damn thing running 0.96
02:23:59.800 takes it out for a spin for a sneak in there 0.98
02:24:00.800 takes it out for a spin for a sneak in there
02:24:04.800 I had a weird suspicion with the light out on the front porch
02:24:11.800 hard medication poured down where the drain pours
02:24:18.800 he holds his left arm while his parakeet prays
02:24:25.800 I had a weird suspicion with the light out on the front porch
02:24:33.800 hard medication poured down where the drain pours
02:24:37.800 he holds his left arm while his parakeet prays
02:24:44.800 has anybody seen much of Gary these days
02:24:52.800 has anybody seen much of Gary these days
02:24:59.800 has anybody seen much of Gary these days
02:25:03.800 No, no, no!
02:25:07.800 Gary
02:25:09.800 No, there ain't a lot of boys
02:25:12.800 ain't a lot of boys
02:25:13.800 ain't a lot of boys
02:25:14.800 ain't a lot of boys
02:25:15.800 there ain't
02:25:16.800 Gary
02:25:19.800 Gary
02:25:20.800 Yeah
02:25:23.380 Yeah
02:25:26.300 Yeah
02:25:26.800 Yeah
02:25:27.800 Yeah
02:25:28.800 Yeah
02:25:50.800 Why are you doing like that?
02:26:11.120 It's just fun, huh?
02:26:12.320 This is fun
02:26:12.820 It's almost like the door closes on it or something
02:26:15.320 It's like the, you know
02:26:17.260 Gary dies
02:26:18.480 And it's almost like the door closes on Gary
02:26:21.440 It's Gary said
02:26:23.160 It is, and there's not enough Garys out there
02:26:25.820 There's not
02:26:26.320 I mean, they're a Gary breed 1.00
02:26:27.420 Dude, well, they should have a
02:26:29.200 They should have a
02:26:31.420 A museum that has Gary's in it
02:26:34.440 I agree
02:26:35.220 You know, I always thought there would be a
02:26:37.120 A great idea
02:26:38.380 For a Gary Busey museum
02:26:40.780 Called the Gary Buseum
02:26:42.100 Ooh, I like that
02:26:43.480 Yeah
02:26:43.900 The museum, yeah
02:26:44.760 Yeah
02:26:45.060 He should have that
02:26:46.140 I think so
02:26:46.820 And you go in and it's just like
02:26:48.600 A bunch of point break memorabilia
02:26:50.860 Yeah
02:26:51.780 And like just
02:26:53.560 Buseys 0.98
02:26:54.160 Yeah, a lot of good Busey stuff
02:26:56.480 Yeah
02:26:56.820 He was in
02:26:57.560 Make it two
02:26:58.360 Yeah, a lot of movies
02:27:00.680 And some of his cameos even does now
02:27:02.400 Could be in there
02:27:03.040 Oh yeah
02:27:03.560 Yeah, he like breaks the fourth wall
02:27:05.120 I love that about him
02:27:06.240 He looks at the camera
02:27:07.600 You ever notice that?
02:27:09.520 Like in movies
02:27:10.100 Like he like looks at the camera
02:27:11.660 I don't know if I've noticed it as much
02:27:12.700 But now that you say it
02:27:13.800 He breaks the fourth wall
02:27:14.580 Of existence of being human
02:27:15.900 Yeah, he does
02:27:16.520 He shatters right through it
02:27:17.680 He speaks in acronyms
02:27:19.040 And uh
02:27:19.860 It reminds me of a rare name
02:27:21.520 Dude that I
02:27:21.900 Or Debbie 0.97
02:27:22.780 We had
02:27:23.180 Was that Debbie in the song?
02:27:24.420 Debbie, yeah
02:27:25.000 We had um
02:27:26.080 What was her?
02:27:27.560 Miss Robin
02:27:28.400 Oh yeah
02:27:29.340 That was our lady 0.96
02:27:29.980 At our kindergarten
02:27:31.180 And I would not sleep
02:27:32.980 I couldn't nap time
02:27:33.880 Or whatever
02:27:34.280 So she started to notice it
02:27:36.020 And she let me go outside
02:27:36.940 And watch her smoke 1.00
02:27:37.740 When we were kids
02:27:38.500 And her hair 0.99
02:27:39.880 She goes
02:27:40.760 If you can't sleep
02:27:41.340 You can come watch me smoke
02:27:42.340 And sometimes
02:27:44.200 That was your Debbie
02:27:45.640 And sometimes I would need some sleep
02:27:47.200 So I'd be like
02:27:47.560 I'm gonna sleep today
02:27:48.240 Or whatever
02:27:48.540 But then probably two days
02:27:50.180 Out of the week
02:27:50.740 I'd go out there
02:27:51.660 And watch Robin smoke
02:27:52.880 Tell me about her husband
02:27:53.880 And stuff like that
02:27:54.520 And her hair was kind of like
02:27:55.320 This feathered sort of
02:27:56.420 Kind of cut
02:27:57.440 Hell yeah, that's a total Robin
02:27:58.420 She looked like
02:27:59.400 I think she looked exactly like a man 0.98
02:28:00.840 But she was beautiful
02:28:02.240 Out of me
02:28:02.860 She was probably one of the hottest 1.00
02:28:03.900 She was a woman
02:28:04.720 That would talk to me
02:28:05.460 So she was stunning 1.00
02:28:06.320 It was incredible
02:28:07.400 God, there was something like that
02:28:08.400 Just to watch her Robin smoke
02:28:10.200 Not the bird
02:28:11.180 Yeah
02:28:11.620 But the human
02:28:12.580 Yeah
02:28:12.840 A human Robin
02:28:13.660 We talk a lot about your quote
02:28:16.660 I know it's not your quote
02:28:17.560 But grief is only love
02:28:18.760 That's got no place to go
02:28:19.940 We talk a lot about that, man
02:28:21.800 On here
02:28:22.180 We've mentioned it a few times
02:28:23.320 You think you could play that for us?
02:28:25.680 I could, yeah
02:28:26.320 I'd be happy to
02:28:27.000 Would you mind?
02:28:27.660 It'd take just a second
02:28:28.520 For me to tune up for it
02:28:29.600 Okay
02:28:29.840 Life is a battlefield
02:28:48.140 And it'll drag you right through hell
02:28:52.780 Lights like a rattlesnake
02:28:55.280 The kind that you just don't see on the trail
02:28:59.400 And I miss my father every day
02:29:05.080 The kind of pain I pray don't fade away
02:29:11.700 For the ones that guide me down the road
02:29:19.500 Yeah, grief is only love
02:29:22.860 That's got no place to go
02:29:26.400 But my great granddad in the ground
02:29:30.280 With all the ghosts in my hometown
02:29:33.340 Yeah, they're the ones
02:29:36.460 That find me down the road
02:29:39.580 Yeah, grief is only love
02:29:42.680 That's got no place to go
02:29:46.420 Yeah, grief is only love
02:29:49.180 The world is a cannonball
02:29:56.420 So deal with the feelings you can't hide
02:30:00.740 God gave us alcohol
02:30:02.860 When we need to leave them all inside
02:30:08.100 And I don't feel like crying
02:30:13.140 But I just keep crying
02:30:19.940 For the ones above
02:30:24.080 To guide me down the road
02:30:27.740 Yeah, grief is only love
02:30:28.740 Yeah, grief is only love
02:30:30.740 That's got no place to go
02:30:34.360 For my great granddad in the ground
02:30:38.200 With all the ghosts in my hometown
02:30:40.740 Yeah, they're the ones
02:30:43.740 That find me down the road
02:30:47.460 Yeah, grief is only love
02:30:50.480 That's got no place to go
02:30:54.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:30:57.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:31:01.000 Grief is only love
02:31:04.000 Grief is only love
02:31:11.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:31:12.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:31:13.000 I don't feel like crying
02:31:27.000 But I just keep crying
02:31:33.000 Crying for the ones above
02:31:39.000 To guide me down the road
02:31:42.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:31:43.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:31:44.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:31:45.000 That's got no place to go
02:31:48.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:31:49.000 So hang on to the hurt
02:31:51.000 So hang on to the hurt
02:31:52.000 And let it grab a hold
02:31:55.000 And the only thing for certain
02:31:58.000 Is it's out of my control
02:32:01.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:32:02.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:32:03.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:32:04.000 Grief is only love
02:32:05.000 That's got no place to go
02:32:06.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:32:09.000 Yeah, grief is only love that's got no place to go
02:32:15.000 Yeah, grief is only love
02:32:22.000 Grief is only love
02:32:29.000 Grief is only love
02:32:39.000 Grief is only love
02:32:48.000 Yeah
02:32:51.000 Yeah
02:32:59.000 That's awesome, man. Thank you so much.
02:33:01.000 How do we feel? Sound okay?
02:33:03.000 It sounds great, dude. Yeah, just thank you. Yeah, it's just nice.
02:33:07.000 Thank you, Theo, for everything, man. Thank you.
02:33:09.000 Trevin, was that okay? 0.97
02:33:11.000 That was fucking awesome. 0.98
02:33:12.000 Wow, dude. He's never used profanity in here. 0.99
02:33:16.000 So he's gonna get into merit, but...
02:33:17.000 He's never cursed in his life.
02:33:19.000 Hey, that's what's going on, dude.
02:33:21.000 Theo, thank you so much.
02:33:22.000 Thank you so much, dude.
02:33:23.000 Thank you.
02:33:24.000 You're awesome.
02:33:25.000 And I love it and thank you for sharing and helping us feel and making it okay for people to feel stuff and yeah.
02:33:31.000 Yeah, I think, yeah, it's time to feel things because what else do we have if we ain't got feelings? I think it's the only thing that separates us from the robots at this point.
02:33:43.000 Yeah.
02:33:44.000 So let's lean into what we got.
02:33:45.000 Amen. Lean into what makes us real.
02:33:47.000 Yes, sir.
02:33:48.000 Stephen Wilson, Jr.
02:33:49.000 Thank you so much, brother.
02:33:50.000 Thank you. God bless you all.
02:33:51.000 You too.
02:33:52.000 Thank you, Theo.
02:33:53.000 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones. But it's gonna take...
02:34:16.000 Even in my bones h院.
02:34:19.000 It's been my bones. It's gonna walk you so much.
02:34:36.000 Yes.
02:34:37.000 Go soon, and thank you.