This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #630 - Stephen Wilson Jr.

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00:01:13.300 Today's guest is a musician and a songwriter, originally by way of Southern Indiana.

00:01:19.700 He's got that voice in him.

00:01:21.160 He's got that power in him.

00:01:22.300 He's got it.

00:01:22.760 He's got it.

00:01:24.820 He has a new single, Gary, that's out now and a sold-out tour in the spring.

00:01:30.040 I'm thankful to finally get to sit down with Mr. Stephen Wilson Jr.

00:01:34.740 I'm going to sit down.

00:01:45.180 Man, I'm such a fan of yours on all levels.

00:01:54.980 Your podcast and your comedy and your humanity.

00:01:59.580 So, yeah.

00:02:00.820 It's an honor to be here.

00:02:03.280 I appreciate it.

00:02:04.140 Stephen Wilson Jr., thank you so much, dude.

00:02:05.920 Thank you, Theo.

00:02:06.260 Yeah, it's really cool.

00:02:06.680 I think this is one of those moments where I feel, yeah, like just so lucky that I get to, that some of this job has ended up like this.

00:02:14.540 Like getting to talk to people that, yeah, some people would love to sit down with, you know.

00:02:19.940 So, thanks so much, man.

00:02:22.340 I appreciate it.

00:02:22.760 You're welcome.

00:02:23.000 You just had a pretty decent run at the CMAs this year.

00:02:27.380 Yeah, it was a, you know.

00:02:29.180 Were you new artist of the year?

00:02:30.620 Yes, I was nominated for new artist of the year, which blew my mind.

00:02:34.660 And did you win a Red Clay Strays one who?

00:02:38.040 Zach Top won.

00:02:39.140 Zach Top won.

00:02:39.880 Very well deserved.

00:02:40.800 And that man has had a big year, and I'm a big fan of his.

00:02:45.920 Yes.

00:02:46.260 And I was very happy for him.

00:02:47.640 And I was really rooting for everybody but myself.

00:02:51.500 I didn't really think I even had a prayer's chance in hell of winning.

00:02:56.760 But I was just, like, honestly, being nominated was a huge win for me because, you know, I wasn't supposed to be there on paper.

00:03:04.180 You know, like there's a lot of things that, like, I contradict.

00:03:08.400 And so just being there, you know, it meant a lot just to be out there.

00:03:14.080 And it was really wild when I remember when they said my name and, like, it didn't feel like I was like, that's somebody else.

00:03:20.940 Oh, yeah.

00:03:21.280 That's not me.

00:03:22.140 That's like a.

00:03:23.220 Oh, for sure.

00:03:24.640 Well, do you think of yourself as country music?

00:03:28.620 I do.

00:03:29.640 Yeah.

00:03:30.200 I am a country boy.

00:03:32.240 I grew up in the country.

00:03:34.140 So I am very country just by culture.

00:03:38.400 And I cannot help but write country songs.

00:03:42.600 I grew up listening to country music and classic rock.

00:03:46.300 I grew up in body shops and it was all classic rock and country music, old school and 90s.

00:03:52.460 And so that was kind of my pedigree, my listening pedigree.

00:03:57.000 And then I grew up very country, very agrarian, kind of hunting for our own food.

00:04:04.320 And I ate a lot of squirrels growing up and rabbits.

00:04:08.040 And, yeah, we just grew up very country.

00:04:10.120 It wasn't trendy at all either.

00:04:11.940 It was, like, just a means of survival.

00:04:14.100 My dad was raising three kids on his own.

00:04:17.060 And so he just went out and killed food.

00:04:19.540 It was a lot cheaper than buying it at the grocery store.

00:04:22.040 Like, you know, one slug, one deer slug could feed you for, like, three months.

00:04:27.800 So, like, that's the way he looked at it.

00:04:29.640 Oh, there's a beautiful group right there, you guys' kids, huh?

00:04:32.240 That's my dad and his three little ones.

00:04:35.200 And that's me.

00:04:37.100 That you on the bottom left there, kind of the middle?

00:04:38.840 Yeah, in the middle.

00:04:40.020 Yeah.

00:04:40.720 And who's that dime on his lap, huh?

00:04:42.480 And I mean that respectfully, because it's a child.

00:04:46.760 Who's that beautiful young lady? 1.00

00:04:47.960 Yeah, that's my little sister, Lacey J.

00:04:50.120 Lacey J?

00:04:50.960 Lacey J.

00:04:51.920 Yeah, named after Lacey J Dalton, another country singer. 0.90

00:04:55.320 But, yeah, she's his little girl, and she is beautiful.

00:05:01.740 And she's a beautiful person in general.

00:05:04.300 She's really kept our whole family.

00:05:07.100 Like, me and my brother right there, we're, like, Irish twins.

00:05:09.600 We're only, like, a year and a few months apart.

00:05:12.340 So, like, we grew up beating the hell out of each other.

00:05:15.640 We were both boxers.

00:05:16.540 My dad right there, in this picture, he had just won, you know,

00:05:21.540 the Golden Gloves for, like, the third or fourth time in a row.

00:05:24.380 So, and, you know, he was probably just running over to, like,

00:05:29.040 Olin Mills or somewhere at Walmart and grabbing this picture real quick.

00:05:32.920 So, just so, like, just that there's proof that we existed

00:05:36.220 and proof that he did this.

00:05:37.880 And I always find it wild that he had time to even snap that picture

00:05:42.740 amidst his life.

00:05:44.720 It was so crazy at the time.

00:05:46.340 Well, and for a dad to put that together, that didn't, you know,

00:05:49.580 that wasn't really the dad world.

00:05:51.580 So, he was a single dad raising you guys?

00:05:53.340 Yeah, he was driving a bus in the morning and then working at a body shop

00:05:57.300 and training to be a boxer.

00:05:59.100 He was wanting to be a pro boxer, but a lot of things, you know,

00:06:02.820 he had to really kind of focus on being a dad

00:06:05.100 and kind of had to put his boxing career,

00:06:08.080 because he really had a very promising career ahead of him.

00:06:10.860 And so, a lot of my dreams, I live kind of, you know, for him and myself,

00:06:16.820 because he put a lot of his dreams on the back burner to raise me.

00:06:21.900 Like, but he also created me.

00:06:23.560 So, like, he kind of had to do that.

00:06:25.820 Right.

00:06:26.120 You know, like, so, but, you know, a lot of people don't take that responsibility.

00:06:29.660 And when I see that picture, I have, like you said, a memory.

00:06:35.520 Well, he either got the, he's got great dimples,

00:06:37.420 or somebody caught him with two good hooks.

00:06:38.980 No, yeah, he's got great dimples.

00:06:40.460 He does.

00:06:40.900 Okay, I thought I was going to give.

00:06:41.680 He has the same ones.

00:06:43.120 And, but, yeah, I see that guy right there,

00:06:46.100 and about a year from that picture,

00:06:47.520 he would have been curling my little sister's hair

00:06:50.000 and getting her ready for kindergarten.

00:06:52.580 And even though his eyes were swollen shut from sparring the night before,

00:06:57.080 I have, like, distinct memories of him, like, getting her ready for school

00:07:00.520 and being, like, a dad to a very young little girl,

00:07:04.600 like, and, like, you know, crimping her hair and curling it.

00:07:07.960 And, you know, being a dad also doing feminine things, 1.00

00:07:13.440 like, because there was no one to do the feminine things. 1.00

00:07:16.900 So, he was like, oh, I got to be dad.

00:07:18.740 And he was really good, and he knew how to do the dude,

00:07:21.760 the dad dude part.

00:07:23.060 Like, he had me and my brother boxing every night,

00:07:25.100 and we were hunting and fishing and doing all the dude things.

00:07:29.060 But he had also had to be a dad to a little girl

00:07:31.880 that was, like, the light of his life.

00:07:34.340 Wow.

00:07:34.780 That was, like, quite the responsibility.

00:07:36.860 And I look back on that, and I have, like I said,

00:07:39.780 just such a distinct memory of him curling her hair,

00:07:42.640 like, while morning cartoons are playing right before we got on the school bus.

00:07:46.400 And, yeah, he was quite the dude.

00:07:49.520 What was his name?

00:07:51.280 Steven Wilson.

00:07:52.120 Oh, he was senior.

00:07:53.300 Yes.

00:07:53.600 You just never know.

00:07:54.420 Sometimes they'll throw a junior on somebody

00:07:55.960 just because they don't know what's going on.

00:07:57.440 Yeah, I know.

00:07:57.960 You know, or they're just a NASCAR fan,

00:07:59.500 they'll tack it onto the back of their kid's name.

00:08:01.260 I can pick that, like a donkey tail, ladies, put it on there like a junior. 1.00

00:08:05.420 Like, yeah, we'll pin the tail on this child, you know?

00:08:07.980 No, I'm very much a junior.

00:08:10.320 It's very much a thing in boxing especially.

00:08:12.860 Like, you know, I joke around that, you know, my dad, you know,

00:08:21.760 he was named after a martyr in the Bible.

00:08:25.020 Like, my grandmother named him after a guy that had rocks thrown at him

00:08:31.020 until he died in the Bible.

00:08:33.500 Steven with a pH, by the way, which makes a lot of sense

00:08:36.520 because I'm pretty sure my dad was stoned when I was born.

00:08:39.200 Was he?

00:08:39.460 That's the joke.

00:08:40.180 Oh, the pH level of his brain was probably weed probably then.

00:08:43.700 It might have been plus 40 then.

00:08:45.300 Depends on if he was on some serious gas or not.

00:08:47.780 He did like perhaps the country cabbage.

00:08:52.000 The story of Stephen from the Bible.

00:08:55.000 Stephen, the first Christian martyr,

00:08:56.720 oh, the first Christian martyr was stoned to death outside Jerusalem

00:08:59.200 for his faith as described in Acts 7 of the Bible.

00:09:02.000 His executioners, including a young Saul, threw rocks at him

00:09:05.100 after he testified about Jesus.

00:09:07.820 Why did Saul not want him to testify on him?

00:09:11.560 Did he not believe him or did he just not want him sharing the truth?

00:09:14.320 Well, Saul at the time, this is pre-Paul,

00:09:17.640 because Saul turned into Paul once he saw Christ,

00:09:20.720 like the spirit of Christ appeared before him,

00:09:23.340 and that's when he became Paul.

00:09:25.160 But at that point, Saul was very much a figure of the Jewish religion.

00:09:32.640 Like he was a very high-ranking Jewish official.

00:09:36.960 So like he was kind of, you know, like a high-ranking individual.

00:09:41.860 And so he was really, in his mind at that time,

00:09:44.700 probably just doing his job, you know,

00:09:47.040 not really knowing why he was doing it.

00:09:49.080 But then he, you know, he had a very much a come-to-Jesus moment,

00:09:53.980 no pun intended.

00:09:55.520 And that's when he became Paul.

00:09:56.620 And he wrote literally probably two-thirds of the New Testament,

00:10:01.420 or at least a lot of it, or half of it at least.

00:10:05.380 This says here, and we use perplexity AI,

00:10:08.440 and it says,

00:10:09.220 before his conversion, Saul was a zealous Pharisee who believed followers of Jesus

00:10:19.380 were dangerous heretics. 0.55

00:10:20.860 So from his perspective,

00:10:21.900 Stephen's preaching against their rejection of Jesus

00:10:24.400 and his criticism of their misuse of the temple 0.96

00:10:26.660 was blasphemous and deserved death under the understanding of the law.

00:10:30.320 That zeal led him to participate 0.68

00:10:32.220 by giving approval and overseeing the execution,

00:10:34.400 which he later remembered with deep sorrow

00:10:35.780 when he became the apostle Paul.

00:10:37.480 Wow.

00:10:37.860 Gosh, dude, that's, I mean, that's got to be a lot to carry

00:10:42.380 because if Stephen was the first Christian martyr

00:10:45.420 and you had him stoned because your faith wasn't there yet

00:10:51.180 and then to look back through a different perspective.

00:10:53.560 Not much longer after that.

00:10:55.160 For him to be like,

00:10:56.400 oh, now I'm preaching the same gospel

00:10:58.300 without rocks being thrown at me.

00:11:01.060 And now that's a,

00:11:02.560 that has to be quite the thing to come to terms with.

00:11:06.740 And I think that's what motivated him to write,

00:11:10.960 you know, so many epistles of the New Testament

00:11:14.580 and became such a huge figure of the New Testament.

00:11:18.800 There's a lot of books that they believe were written by Paul,

00:11:21.580 like the book of Hebrews.

00:11:22.700 There's like no author,

00:11:24.120 but they believe even he wrote like books

00:11:27.360 that nobody has any author to.

00:11:30.200 Like they just,

00:11:30.840 they can identify his style of writing

00:11:33.640 and be like,

00:11:34.500 it had to be Paul.

00:11:36.060 So, yeah.

00:11:37.700 People love your style of writing, man.

00:11:39.420 Speaking of that.

00:11:39.960 I grew up very religious.

00:11:41.380 That's why I talk about,

00:11:42.300 I grew up in a Pentecostal,

00:11:43.800 Nazarene kind of church,

00:11:45.300 a lot of Holy Roland.

00:11:46.380 And I read a lot of the Bible.

00:11:49.060 Well, yeah,

00:11:49.260 I just started going to a Bible study.

00:11:50.600 This is the first time I've ever been to a Bible study in my life.

00:11:52.540 And so it's been interesting to start to just learn

00:11:55.200 about different characters from the Bible

00:11:56.380 and just different stories and stuff.

00:11:57.660 So, yeah,

00:11:58.940 I'm just glad that we even got to talk about that.

00:12:00.580 And yeah,

00:12:01.060 and that that's how your father was named from Stephen.

00:12:02.720 I didn't know that story and now I'll remember it.

00:12:04.580 Yeah.

00:12:05.020 And so that's pretty cool.

00:12:06.560 What was that?

00:12:07.360 Yeah.

00:12:07.540 The church you went to,

00:12:09.400 cause you're from the Midwest.

00:12:10.880 You're from Indiana.

00:12:12.260 Yeah.

00:12:12.440 I'm from where I'm from Southern Indiana,

00:12:14.460 Kentucky,

00:12:15.320 and they call that area,

00:12:16.620 like just North of Louisville,

00:12:17.720 Kentucky,

00:12:18.400 just close to where Trevin's from.

00:12:20.460 And okay.

00:12:21.300 That's our producer.

00:12:21.800 I would say that's where the Midwest and the South

00:12:24.540 kind of chest bump or shake hands.

00:12:26.520 It is literally a collision of two cultures. 0.97

00:12:29.120 So people have Southern accents and watch NASCAR,

00:12:32.600 but they also put noodles in their chili,

00:12:34.740 which is a very Midwestern thing.

00:12:36.740 So yeah,

00:12:37.540 there it is.

00:12:38.260 Jackson County,

00:12:39.220 Indiana,

00:12:39.580 right there in this Southern part.

00:12:41.840 Oh yeah.

00:12:42.180 The Midwest,

00:12:43.040 they'll starch up a protein in a second.

00:12:44.740 They don't give a dang brother.

00:12:46.180 They'll put a starch right in the middle of a protein. 1.00

00:12:48.260 Yeah.

00:12:48.600 That's how they are there.

00:12:49.600 They love that.

00:12:50.380 It's long winters.

00:12:52.140 It gets cold.

00:12:53.080 You need them starches. 1.00

00:12:54.300 Oh yeah.

00:12:54.660 I would grow.

00:12:55.100 I mean,

00:12:55.260 I would go,

00:12:56.240 we used to go to the AC.

00:12:57.500 It was an apostolic Christian church with my grandparents and some of their neighbors.

00:13:01.380 And it was in Illinois,

00:13:03.440 like in pretty much Southern Illinois.

00:13:05.720 And that was just part of the culture.

00:13:07.220 Like people would eat their dessert at the beginning of dinner sometimes.

00:13:09.820 So they made sure they got their dessert in.

00:13:12.640 Like it was just kind of some of that culture.

00:13:13.840 Yeah.

00:13:14.000 You don't want to miss that.

00:13:15.240 Get too full and getting too excited on mashed potatoes.

00:13:18.220 And they're like, 1.00

00:13:18.640 damn, 0.99

00:13:19.320 I ain't got nothing. 1.00

00:13:20.660 It was almost a shame.

00:13:22.180 If you couldn't make,

00:13:23.340 if you didn't have space available in your body for a beautiful dessert,

00:13:26.820 somebody had made,

00:13:27.420 you almost felt a bit of shamed in a way.

00:13:30.860 Yeah.

00:13:31.180 And you should be like,

00:13:32.160 think how much work was put into that cobbler compared to those mashed potatoes. 0.72

00:13:35.940 Like you ate the easy stuff.

00:13:39.940 Oh,

00:13:40.100 and sometimes you'd have somebody,

00:13:41.500 you know,

00:13:41.640 you'd have such skilled labor in there.

00:13:42.960 You'd have a real cobbler making the cobbler. 0.99

00:13:44.620 You'd have a damn shoelace going through a peach, 1.00

00:13:48.760 you know? 1.00

00:13:49.220 Yeah.

00:13:49.600 You'd be in there.

00:13:50.400 Some boot lace cobbler.

00:13:51.600 Yeah.

00:13:51.920 You'd find,

00:13:52.560 yeah,

00:13:53.400 you'd find half a soul and,

00:13:55.720 you know,

00:13:56.780 you'd be like,

00:13:57.400 oh,

00:13:57.560 is this,

00:13:58.060 is this crossed or is this a,

00:13:59.780 you know,

00:14:00.560 part of an 11 and a half?

00:14:01.840 Yeah.

00:14:01.960 What is this cobbler?

00:14:03.080 Soulless?

00:14:03.680 Yeah.

00:14:04.120 Yeah.

00:14:04.320 Like,

00:14:04.660 no,

00:14:04.980 not so much.

00:14:05.620 He's got real,

00:14:06.120 real heels in the corner, 0.98

00:14:07.920 you know,

00:14:08.300 it was just,

00:14:09.060 but there was so much value.

00:14:11.140 I remember in my grandmother's town on cooking and on having people over for meals,

00:14:15.360 just that Midwestern culture,

00:14:17.220 you know,

00:14:17.440 on hard work and religion was a big part of it.

00:14:20.860 You know,

00:14:21.380 even their neighbors,

00:14:22.340 if my grandparents couldn't take us to church,

00:14:24.040 their neighbors would offer,

00:14:25.520 we'll take them to church,

00:14:26.560 you know,

00:14:26.840 and we go in and just get to see what some of the different churches were like.

00:14:31.300 And that was one of the bigger religions in the area was apostolic Christian over there.

00:14:34.480 Did you see any exorcisms or any speaking in tongues or movements of the spirit?

00:14:39.980 Let me think.

00:14:40.660 No,

00:14:40.960 they had good donuts.

00:14:42.780 They braided their hair.

00:14:44.080 The women did like one big braid. 1.00

00:14:46.560 They didn't show a lot,

00:14:47.480 you know,

00:14:47.640 it was very kind of covered up with some of the female culture. 1.00

00:14:49.920 They braided their donuts?

00:14:50.660 They did have those one.

00:14:53.760 What is that one that's braided?

00:14:54.940 I don't know.

00:14:55.720 I don't know what it's called.

00:14:57.160 I don't love it.

00:14:58.380 I don't either.

00:14:59.160 Yeah.

00:14:59.480 It's too much braided.

00:15:00.320 I don't think there's filling in it.

00:15:01.260 You think there is when you're a kid.

00:15:02.880 It's very deceiving.

00:15:04.820 Twisted donut.

00:15:05.620 No,

00:15:05.780 there's a word for it.

00:15:07.980 And,

00:15:08.080 um,

00:15:08.760 it's,

00:15:09.160 what is that?

00:15:11.120 Kreller was one that I loved,

00:15:13.040 but I don't think this was a Kreller. 0.98

00:15:15.280 Well,

00:15:15.660 Kreller often made from show pastry,

00:15:18.220 French Kreller or yeast dough with a distinctive twisted shape.

00:15:21.320 Oh,

00:15:21.400 maybe it was a Kreller.

00:15:22.840 Yeah.

00:15:23.400 Maybe it was,

00:15:24.140 but I,

00:15:24.680 yeah.

00:15:24.780 I'm thinking of something else though.

00:15:25.900 It looked good as a kid,

00:15:27.460 but it was,

00:15:27.860 it was deceiving.

00:15:28.400 Yeah.

00:15:28.440 It was always like,

00:15:29.180 oh,

00:15:29.360 I want that.

00:15:29.980 And then you would eat it and you'd be like,

00:15:31.220 man, 0.99

00:15:31.540 this is trash. 1.00

00:15:32.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:32.780 I should have went with that Bavarian cream.

00:15:34.720 Yeah.

00:15:35.000 Or I should have went with the one with the frosting on it,

00:15:37.020 you know?

00:15:37.800 Um,

00:15:38.440 but we had a beautiful time.

00:15:39.300 Yeah.

00:15:39.400 I didn't meet any,

00:15:40.160 uh,

00:15:40.720 there was no seancery really.

00:15:42.220 I do remember there was a mentally handicapped fellow who said he could drive

00:15:46.160 and he was a driver's ed instructor and he wasn't,

00:15:48.220 he was just,

00:15:49.520 uh,

00:15:50.920 you know,

00:15:51.400 and some people believe it was mentally handicapped.

00:15:52.840 Some were like,

00:15:53.240 he's possessed by the devil.

00:15:54.280 And I'm like,

00:15:54.700 well,

00:15:54.860 he's not possessed by like a devil who just,

00:15:56.700 you know,

00:15:57.820 um,

00:15:58.600 is sitting around his pick in his nose and just,

00:16:00.900 you know,

00:16:01.360 he was just a little bit off this dude named Brandon.

00:16:03.760 And he was awesome.

00:16:04.660 Actually.

00:16:05.580 Um,

00:16:06.020 he was kind of this special guy between an adult and a kid and he never left that

00:16:09.920 zone,

00:16:10.400 you know?

00:16:11.220 So there was something kind of very approachable to him about kids,

00:16:15.500 uh,

00:16:16.360 because he was bigger than us,

00:16:17.840 but he was just like us.

00:16:19.480 And he,

00:16:20.240 uh,

00:16:20.460 he,

00:16:20.760 he taught me how to,

00:16:21.600 he said he could drive and he,

00:16:23.500 we drove right into a snow bank and the police came and everything,

00:16:25.840 but it was just exciting though.

00:16:28.160 He was, 1.00

00:16:28.580 he was a liar. 0.99

00:16:29.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:29.880 He was a good place for him to be at church.

00:16:32.520 He was a Bears fan.

00:16:33.880 I think it was a tough time for everybody.

00:16:36.100 Um,

00:16:36.840 that's,

00:16:37.340 that's,

00:16:37.760 I mean,

00:16:37.980 I gotta say,

00:16:38.600 I saw quite a few demon possessed Brandon's.

00:16:41.220 Where I grew up.

00:16:41.980 I saw a lot of Brandon's get demons cast out of them.

00:16:45.880 Really?

00:16:46.280 So you would see that at your church?

00:16:47.800 Yeah.

00:16:48.280 And what was that kind of like?

00:16:49.360 Like,

00:16:49.820 cause something,

00:16:50.760 someplace that's a part of a culture.

00:16:52.000 And I believe that I believe in that type of stuff.

00:16:54.800 Do you believe in it?

00:16:56.180 I do,

00:16:56.880 uh,

00:16:57.480 you know,

00:16:57.800 I have a,

00:16:58.500 you know,

00:16:58.840 that I've tried to deconstruct a lot of that through,

00:17:03.340 cause I have a science background.

00:17:04.920 I've had to really try to understand a lot of that and understand what is real and what is not.

00:17:10.400 But there was a lot of it that was 100% real.

00:17:13.280 And there was a lot of it that was 100% not.

00:17:16.640 And,

00:17:16.900 uh,

00:17:17.100 you know,

00:17:17.600 I believe there's theatrics,

00:17:18.940 but I also believe,

00:17:19.940 you know,

00:17:20.500 God is everywhere.

00:17:21.240 And I believe God did show up in those places just like God will show up in any place.

00:17:26.300 Um,

00:17:27.500 but yeah,

00:17:27.840 I did see a lot of,

00:17:30.180 you know, 0.98

00:17:31.380 grown ass drywall dudes get like demons cast out of them before lunch. 0.94

00:17:36.440 And I'd be like sitting there with half a pop tart in my stomach watching this dude literally like throwing dudes around and like exhibiting some superhuman strength. 0.97

00:17:46.560 Oh,

00:17:46.680 they're popping the tart right out of that dude. 0.89

00:17:48.360 Yeah.

00:17:49.620 Yeah.

00:17:50.380 That's the original pop tart. 1.00

00:17:51.820 Dude is a damn exorcist. 1.00

00:17:53.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:53.380 He just created the original pop tart.

00:17:55.780 That cherry flavored pop tart was from a demon exorcism.

00:17:59.020 That's why it's red.

00:17:59.920 Yeah.

00:18:00.080 You just know they could have gone with a lot of darker flavors,

00:18:02.380 but they're like,

00:18:02.920 let's make this available to children.

00:18:04.900 And but dude,

00:18:05.640 a pop tart's an exorcism. 1.00

00:18:07.140 Shit. 1.00

00:18:07.400 I'm, 1.00

00:18:07.740 I am there,

00:18:08.760 dude.

00:18:08.900 I sit on your lap.

00:18:09.860 Speaking in tongues.

00:18:11.160 Um,

00:18:11.460 I actually went,

00:18:12.800 uh,

00:18:13.160 we,

00:18:13.440 you know,

00:18:13.780 some,

00:18:14.460 you know,

00:18:14.680 in our town,

00:18:15.640 like an evangelist could like show up to your church and like a traveling evangelist and be like,

00:18:20.700 we're having revival here this week.

00:18:22.460 Yeah.

00:18:22.920 Literally the church would shut down and be like,

00:18:24.800 we're having revival y'all.

00:18:26.500 Uh,

00:18:26.780 this is what we're doing.

00:18:27.700 And the whole week would be a revival just because this dude showed up and said,

00:18:31.100 God told me to have a revival here.

00:18:32.960 And they would have a huge,

00:18:35.120 like big tent revival.

00:18:36.500 No way.

00:18:37.120 Absolutely.

00:18:37.700 And it's always been my dream to be a part of something like that.

00:18:39.840 No,

00:18:40.040 I just,

00:18:40.320 Leap of Faith was my favorite movie growing up.

00:18:42.200 Dude,

00:18:42.360 that movie changed my life.

00:18:43.000 Nobody knows about it.

00:18:43.960 It's one of the greatest movies ever made.

00:18:46.300 Literally changed my life.

00:18:47.700 Oh my gosh.

00:18:48.740 I'm so glad you know about that movie.

00:18:50.480 Like very few people I've,

00:18:51.660 I've been able to talk to about that movie because it has one of the most profound impacts on me.

00:18:57.340 Really?

00:18:57.740 As a kid,

00:18:58.420 just because of how I grew up and the music business and seeing performance and theatrics and,

00:19:03.700 you know,

00:19:03.860 where is God and where isn't God.

00:19:05.640 And,

00:19:06.160 uh,

00:19:06.320 that movie is just brilliantly done.

00:19:09.120 But I remember I went up,

00:19:10.660 this dude showed up and,

00:19:12.720 uh,

00:19:12.880 he said,

00:19:13.180 tonight everybody's getting slain in the spirit.

00:19:15.180 You come up,

00:19:15.720 you're getting slain.

00:19:16.960 And I don't know if you know what slain means. 0.91

00:19:18.520 Like you,

00:19:18.920 you stand up there and the dude hits you and you fall down and you just out for however long.

00:19:24.340 And,

00:19:24.780 um,

00:19:25.220 everybody,

00:19:25.540 everybody lined up and I was like,

00:19:27.700 I'm getting slain tonight.

00:19:29.180 I've never been slain. 0.99

00:19:30.420 That's that freaking religious Percocet right there. 0.99

00:19:32.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:19:32.760 I would,

00:19:33.200 I would wanted it bad.

00:19:35.340 And,

00:19:35.800 uh,

00:19:36.180 he just knocking people over left and right.

00:19:38.180 Boom,

00:19:38.640 boom,

00:19:39.080 boom.

00:19:39.320 I'd seen him go down.

00:19:40.340 It's like,

00:19:40.520 he's coming to me.

00:19:41.420 No way.

00:19:41.860 He got to me.

00:19:42.720 And then he started speaking in tongues.

00:19:44.940 And I remember he tapped me right in the forehead.

00:19:46.720 Boom.

00:19:47.220 Like that.

00:19:47.820 And I was like,

00:19:49.140 oh,

00:19:49.900 that was,

00:19:50.700 that was kind of hard.

00:19:51.600 And I was like training for the golden gloves at that time.

00:19:53.700 So I was like a little bit like,

00:19:55.300 what's up?

00:19:55.700 Like he just like hit me right in the forehead with his fingers.

00:19:58.500 Yeah.

00:19:58.800 And then he started,

00:19:59.900 you know,

00:20:00.120 it didn't work.

00:20:00.900 Like it didn't take.

00:20:02.320 And so he did it again,

00:20:03.620 even harder.

00:20:04.160 And I was like,

00:20:04.980 kind of like mad about it at that point because it actually kind of hurt.

00:20:08.660 I was like,

00:20:08.880 is this dude trying to knock me out?

00:20:10.400 Yeah.

00:20:10.660 Or like,

00:20:11.200 is he trying to slay me in the spirit?

00:20:13.200 And anyway,

00:20:14.460 he just,

00:20:15.040 yeah,

00:20:15.100 let's look at the judge's cards. 0.95

00:20:16.220 And I'm just like getting hit in the forehead by him.

00:20:18.200 And then he just moved on.

00:20:19.800 It was one of the most heartbreaking things.

00:20:21.280 He went to the next guy and knocked him out.

00:20:23.060 Next guy down,

00:20:23.920 down.

00:20:24.220 Were you being defiant?

00:20:25.240 Do you think?

00:20:25.680 I don't know.

00:20:26.360 I thought like,

00:20:26.940 man,

00:20:27.180 I guess I don't believe.

00:20:29.180 Am I,

00:20:29.720 did I like snap out of it?

00:20:31.540 Was I,

00:20:32.060 you know,

00:20:32.560 was I not in the moment?

00:20:34.400 I didn't,

00:20:34.760 I didn't really know what to think.

00:20:36.080 Cause I was like a 19 year old kid just trying to feel God and try to get closer to God.

00:20:41.980 And everybody seemed to be doing that.

00:20:43.840 And what was wild is like,

00:20:45.200 he knocked everybody up and there was all these bodies all over the floor.

00:20:48.440 People like putting modesty cloths all over him and stuff.

00:20:51.860 And,

00:20:52.000 and they're just out there asleep.

00:20:54.180 So I had to like walk all over all these bodies to get back to my. 0.96

00:20:59.120 You're like,

00:20:59.520 Oh yeah.

00:21:00.340 And it's kind of embarrassing.

00:21:01.360 It's almost the walk of shame.

00:21:02.520 It was,

00:21:02.740 it was the most shameful walk I've ever taken at church.

00:21:06.560 I guess I'm not.

00:21:07.720 I guess I'm not.

00:21:08.700 And what really made me laugh or at least kind of helped break me out of it.

00:21:12.120 Missing the spirit.

00:21:12.680 I remember thinking like,

00:21:14.460 what if I step on?

00:21:15.620 Cause everybody had their hands out,

00:21:16.860 just kind of laid out.

00:21:17.880 What if I step on someone's hand?

00:21:19.980 Will I snap them out of it?

00:21:21.780 And then be like,

00:21:22.240 and then they'll go back in or would they be out?

00:21:25.080 Like,

00:21:25.240 Oh,

00:21:25.340 you stepped on my hand and now I'm no longer slain.

00:21:27.540 I was like,

00:21:28.000 how did.

00:21:28.600 Or like Steven with the center,

00:21:30.460 you know,

00:21:30.840 old Steven Wilson Jr.

00:21:31.860 Who can't even get the dark arts exercised out of him.

00:21:34.300 Is there ever you're waking up people who are doing well,

00:21:36.840 breaking fingers with his,

00:21:38.380 with his steel toe boots,

00:21:40.460 shamefully walking back to his pew.

00:21:42.680 I never thought about the walk of shame at church.

00:21:45.620 What is a,

00:21:46.300 um,

00:21:46.920 what is a modesty cloth?

00:21:49.300 Um,

00:21:49.860 well,

00:21:50.280 like sometimes a lady would get slain and she's wearing a skirt, 1.00

00:21:54.140 you know,

00:21:54.620 it's a Pentecostal church and they,

00:21:56.740 they cover and make sure like,

00:21:58.400 Oh,

00:21:58.580 that's a lot of skirt. 1.00

00:21:59.580 Do we call them skirtings because they were so long,

00:22:02.780 you know,

00:22:03.020 and some of them would be actual curtains that they had taken off of a window

00:22:05.580 somewhere.

00:22:06.120 Some of them you'd even see like that stick,

00:22:07.800 you know,

00:22:07.920 the stick that's on the edge of a curtain that you can like,

00:22:10.060 if you turn it,

00:22:10.780 it'll go up.

00:22:11.520 Some of them even have those.

00:22:12.800 Yeah.

00:22:13.580 You're just sitting over there.

00:22:14.760 But if you're trying to get a,

00:22:16.960 you got to spend that thing for a long time.

00:22:18.900 Blinds underneath. 0.87

00:22:19.320 Yeah.

00:22:20.740 Yeah.

00:22:21.140 They got blinds.

00:22:22.080 Those vertical blinds.

00:22:23.720 Yeah.

00:22:24.840 They cure you from blindness.

00:22:26.640 Dude,

00:22:26.880 that's pretty funny,

00:22:27.760 dude.

00:22:28.260 Thinking about something like that.

00:22:29.960 We're thinking about something that's funny together with somebody is

00:22:32.160 something that's awesome,

00:22:33.180 dude.

00:22:33.600 Yeah.

00:22:33.800 It was like,

00:22:34.380 it helped me get through it.

00:22:35.540 Like the,

00:22:36.440 cause like you said,

00:22:37.240 there was a shamefulness to it,

00:22:38.400 but it actually was kind of funny.

00:22:40.340 So they put that modesty blanket on them.

00:22:42.260 There's a modesty cloth.

00:22:43.460 That's good for that.

00:22:44.820 Yeah.

00:22:45.500 Good for that,

00:22:46.040 that at least,

00:22:46.660 yeah,

00:22:46.800 because there's some guys and lurkers that would just be up there.

00:22:50.320 Yeah.

00:22:50.820 You never know.

00:22:51.640 And,

00:22:51.800 and like,

00:22:52.240 like I said,

00:22:53.020 in the,

00:22:53.560 those churches,

00:22:54.260 like nothing,

00:22:55.080 you didn't even show below the knee.

00:22:56.940 So like if,

00:22:57.600 if your skirt went started to show some knee, 0.97

00:22:59.860 they better get a cloth over that. 0.93

00:23:01.020 Oh yeah.

00:23:01.340 Can't be seeing that kneecap.

00:23:02.600 Oh yeah,

00:23:03.200 boy.

00:23:04.400 Those.

00:23:04.800 Oh,

00:23:05.620 Oh,

00:23:06.020 I remember being young and just God,

00:23:08.680 I was kind of like a,

00:23:10.380 I guess like a little bit of a peep in time or whatever.

00:23:13.460 I was like visually stimulated.

00:23:15.560 I called it and had a step stool,

00:23:17.080 but,

00:23:18.060 um,

00:23:19.540 I remember for Christmas when you're,

00:23:21.020 I wanted a ladder.

00:23:21.940 My mom's like,

00:23:22.320 what do you want a ladder for?

00:23:23.440 Like,

00:23:23.540 why do you want this little ladder?

00:23:25.260 And I wanted to go,

00:23:26.380 I'd go watch people and just watch in their houses.

00:23:28.320 And I wasn't always looking for perverse stuff.

00:23:29.980 I was just looking,

00:23:31.160 I liked watching people live.

00:23:32.760 Right.

00:23:33.020 Like,

00:23:33.440 I think I hated being at our house.

00:23:35.140 It was like,

00:23:35.700 it was like,

00:23:37.440 uh,

00:23:38.300 it wasn't fun.

00:23:40.540 It was just painful kind of a lot.

00:23:42.400 And it was like,

00:23:43.040 always like aggressive and,

00:23:45.920 um,

00:23:47.400 defensive.

00:23:48.900 Like the second you were around,

00:23:50.220 you had to be defensive.

00:23:51.420 Uh,

00:23:51.820 and so I would go watch as other people live,

00:23:54.440 like watch somebody just be,

00:23:55.980 you know,

00:23:56.180 or just watch some dad sit there in a chair.

00:23:58.980 Some mom make something or some kid just, 0.71

00:24:01.520 you know,

00:24:02.000 like users like the living room or something.

00:24:04.160 I wasn't getting real weird,

00:24:05.120 but,

00:24:05.480 but I love that kind of stuff,

00:24:07.060 man.

00:24:07.300 I love just kind of absorbing how other people operated.

00:24:10.500 Yeah.

00:24:10.820 Uh,

00:24:11.300 that kind of stuff was interesting.

00:24:12.640 You're a OG people watcher.

00:24:14.460 Yeah.

00:24:14.620 I was a bit of a,

00:24:15.400 yeah.

00:24:16.000 I mean,

00:24:16.660 that's,

00:24:17.240 I mean,

00:24:17.580 if get your ladder together,

00:24:19.000 you know,

00:24:19.660 yeah,

00:24:19.840 but get half a pop tart in you and get over there and just see what the,

00:24:22.940 I find comedians are,

00:24:24.380 and songwriters in general are just like,

00:24:26.760 they're people watchers.

00:24:27.720 And then they watch so much people that they end up,

00:24:31.400 these narratives start to show up.

00:24:33.880 And,

00:24:34.400 uh,

00:24:35.020 so you were probably just harnessing,

00:24:37.560 your skills for what was to come.

00:24:41.280 Yeah.

00:24:41.700 I think sometimes,

00:24:42.500 yeah,

00:24:42.640 you look back on your life and you're like,

00:24:43.840 Oh,

00:24:44.040 so much of that was to,

00:24:45.200 uh,

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00:27:03.320 One thing you said that was interesting a little bit ago was you said,

00:27:06.140 that your dad was a boxer and he did these things.

00:27:12.720 And then sometimes you're living out some of your dad's dreams.

00:27:17.600 And I find that to be interesting that we feel like that as sons or that some sons feel that way.

00:27:27.140 And then also that some dads will make sacrifices like you're saying.

00:27:31.660 And it wasn't like it was his choice that he made.

00:27:34.260 It wasn't like a sacrifice.

00:27:35.660 But sometimes even with choices then come sacrifices that you don't see.

00:27:39.580 And then you have to make another choice then as to what do I do here.

00:27:43.480 But that like even by giving birth to a son, by having an offspring,

00:27:47.000 you are creating something that can go the next leg,

00:27:49.600 almost like it's one of those races where they pass the baton.

00:27:53.340 What is that called?

00:27:54.060 I think a baton race. 1.00

00:27:55.340 Yeah, a baton race. 0.99

00:27:56.820 And yeah, so yeah.

00:27:58.560 It's not as hard as it seems.

00:28:00.760 I'm not sure.

00:28:01.540 It may not be called that.

00:28:02.660 It may be something way more complex.

00:28:06.280 It is a baton, a relay race.

00:28:08.100 Baton race, a relay race.

00:28:10.720 But it's like, this is as far as I can get.

00:28:14.680 And let me put this into you.

00:28:16.380 But then it's interesting as the next runner, as the next generation is, 0.52

00:28:19.860 what do I, like how much do I owe to this previous generation to carry on their dream?

00:28:24.400 Do I owe anything?

00:28:25.800 You know, what does it mean to be a son?

00:28:27.300 Like all those things kind of were popping into my head as you were saying that.

00:28:31.000 A generational relay race is not something I've put, you know,

00:28:35.920 to thought regarding all that.

00:28:37.860 But that is a very accurate observation there.

00:28:42.500 Because when you see a relay race, like the first runner or whatever,

00:28:47.200 the runner before you, the runners before you, like dictate how fast you're going to run

00:28:52.820 and they dictate your position in the race.

00:28:56.040 So like if they're running with everything they got,

00:28:59.060 well then you're only like doing a disservice to their effort

00:29:03.120 by not running with everything you got.

00:29:05.480 Right.

00:29:05.680 And so, yeah, that baton becomes something bigger than just this thing you're holding in your hand.

00:29:10.720 It's like the sum of all their efforts.

00:29:13.320 Yeah.

00:29:13.600 And, you know.

00:29:15.320 Yeah, and I think we used to hear a lot more.

00:29:17.340 I think when families, and this is a hypothetical,

00:29:21.100 but when families seemed closer and we needed more entertainment from our fathers and forefathers

00:29:27.840 and we got lore passed down and family history, when there was more storytelling,

00:29:32.300 when you couldn't get as much storytelling from like phones and television and stuff

00:29:35.620 as we can in the past few generations,

00:29:37.160 but when it came from like those, the predecessors of ours and our forefathers and mothers,

00:29:43.420 that that kind of stuff, it like beat inside of us like a drum, you know.

00:29:47.700 So, yeah, what kind of, did you feel a pressure like, and did something happen, your father passed away?

00:29:54.900 Yeah, he passed away seven years ago at the age of 59 and it happened, yeah, he was very young

00:30:02.540 and it was a sudden thing and it was very...

00:30:06.160 Was he sick?

00:30:07.140 Yeah, well, he had like this pulmonary fibrosis thing that was starting,

00:30:11.360 but he ended up dying of a pulmonary embolism, like a blood clot in his lungs.

00:30:16.560 And so, yeah, it was a very sudden thing that I don't think anybody really expected.

00:30:24.320 He was living in Indiana?

00:30:25.660 He was living in southern Indiana and he was, you know, he was, you know, doing quite well

00:30:31.880 and like, you know, everything kind of changed in about six months and then he, you know,

00:30:38.760 suddenly this embolism showed up and I tried to get there because he, it was, his body was like shutting down.

00:30:47.060 What do you mean?

00:30:47.560 So an embolism, can you bring it up just so I know, Trevin, sorry to interrupt you, Stephen.

00:30:51.100 No, don't.

00:30:51.980 I'm just like, sometimes I've let information fly and I don't know what it is.

00:30:56.660 An embolism, a pulmonary embolism is a blood clot that travels to and blocks

00:31:01.600 an artery in the lungs, cutting off normal blood flow and oxygen exchange

00:31:05.620 and creating a potentially life-threatening emergency.

00:31:07.760 So had this been happening for a while and then it got bad?

00:31:10.840 Yeah.

00:31:11.440 And so he'd had some, obviously some things going on that he never knew was happening.

00:31:17.720 And, and then, yeah, it got to that life-threatening emergency point.

00:31:22.740 And then there is a point where they can only do so much.

00:31:25.720 And, you know, he was a bit of a cowboy and, you know, those kind of classic dudes

00:31:31.480 that don't want to go to the doctor and I'll tough it out kind of thing.

00:31:34.900 I'm sure there was a lot of that mentality going into it.

00:31:38.140 Also, there was poor health care, you know, that's, he was a victim of the American health care system too

00:31:44.620 in that regard.

00:31:45.840 I won't get into all that.

00:31:47.660 But, but yeah, like that was, that was a big part of it.

00:31:51.280 Um, we've talked, we've talked about that a lot over the years, it's a nightmare and

00:31:54.440 the stress they put people through trying to deal with their own taking care of themselves.

00:31:57.760 It's like, yeah, it's a nightmare, especially at his age at 59, he was starting to feel

00:32:03.160 like, uh, you're just like a forgotten human.

00:32:06.120 They don't, you know, like, you know, they don't really want to take care of you.

00:32:10.500 They want to do everything but that, like you got to fight tooth and nail to take care

00:32:15.380 of yourself in that, at least where he was at that time.

00:32:19.180 And, uh, yeah, I, I got a, a really, um, panicked call from my sister that morning and said,

00:32:26.580 you need to get here like now, like dad is very sick and we don't know what's happening.

00:32:31.020 And they rushed him to the emergency room and, um, I jumped in my car and sped up there and

00:32:37.260 I said goodbye to him in the middle of Kentucky on the side of I-65 on an iPhone 8 on the side

00:32:45.100 of a highway.

00:32:45.660 And, um, that was the- Pulled over to make it quieter?

00:32:49.020 Yeah.

00:32:49.580 And just so I didn't lose signal, I was so worried that, cause you know, the middle of

00:32:52.820 Kentucky is the middle of nowhere and like, what if I dropped the call?

00:32:56.520 Like, yeah.

00:32:57.480 And, um, you know, there was, so I just pulled over just, I mean, it was insane.

00:33:02.800 I just, the, the, the sound of like semis flying by me at like 90 miles an hour, but literally

00:33:09.600 being in a, I felt like I was in a bubble, like not like the world was like the world

00:33:15.380 stopped around me in that little car.

00:33:17.720 Like a semi could have taken the side of that car off.

00:33:21.760 I wouldn't even had known it or, you know, I would have just, I was in a state of absolute

00:33:26.820 shock and, and horror is a very traumatizing experience.

00:33:30.580 But, and you were on a FaceTime call?

00:33:32.800 No, I was just on a video or a normal phone call.

00:33:36.080 Um, was he able to speak to you?

00:33:37.260 He was.

00:33:37.980 And he, uh, did he know that it could be like his last moment?

00:33:41.760 He knew, he knew he was done.

00:33:42.980 Is this bothering you by asking you this?

00:33:44.040 No, I, I talk about it a lot on stage.

00:33:46.560 I kind of relive it every night.

00:33:48.080 And, um, that's been a challenge for me, like mentally kind of, but it's been, but it's

00:33:55.700 also been like the beautiful part of unpacking trauma and grief.

00:34:00.100 Cause you know, I'm not like our, our music like really, um, it finds the grieving and

00:34:07.480 I think it's, it's important for me to grieve as well.

00:34:10.580 Um, like I, I, I, I go through grief every night and, uh, but you know, um, he was such

00:34:17.680 a gangster in that moment.

00:34:19.460 He knew he had maybe 90 seconds left on this earth.

00:34:22.940 He knew he was going, not just going, but going fast.

00:34:26.780 He even told me, he's like, I'm, I'm going Steven.

00:34:30.060 And, um, um, sorry, um, but yeah, he was, uh, he was so calm about it.

00:34:39.500 Um, he said, everything's going to be okay.

00:34:42.580 Oh, that was his first thing he said, like such a dad thing to say.

00:34:47.360 And, um, and he said, write a good song for me, Steven.

00:34:51.980 And he said, I love you.

00:34:53.960 I love you.

00:34:54.580 I love you.

00:34:55.300 I love you four times.

00:34:57.360 And he wanted you to know for sure.

00:34:59.140 Yeah, like he wanted there to be no doubt.

00:35:02.160 And, uh, so I say it more than once all the time now, because I, I, from that experience,

00:35:08.020 I kind of realized that people are counting and, uh, I, I was counting and, and, um, and

00:35:14.740 it was weird.

00:35:15.660 Like on that last, I love you.

00:35:17.260 It's almost like his voice got quieter.

00:35:19.560 Like he was literally being pulled, like God was snatching him from the universe in that

00:35:24.900 last, I love you.

00:35:26.080 Wow.

00:35:26.600 And he was gone 30 seconds later.

00:35:29.140 And, uh, and that was it.

00:35:31.420 I was the last person he spoke to.

00:35:33.300 And, um, I'm really grateful that I got to speak to him.

00:35:36.980 And in that moment, in that car, uh, I, I, I was so angry at God.

00:35:46.420 I was so angry at him.

00:35:47.980 Even my dad, I was like, how dare you die on me like this?

00:35:52.560 Like, like, like that's, we wasn't supposed to happen.

00:35:56.100 Like none of it was supposed to happen like that.

00:35:58.500 Like I was under the impression he was invincible, first of all, and he was just so young and

00:36:03.260 he was just such a, you know, just such a lively, such a bright light.

00:36:08.740 So it just, it didn't seem possible.

00:36:11.020 And then even to people in my hometown, they were in disbelief when he died.

00:36:15.600 Like it was like, cause his, his life force was so big that like people were in denial.

00:36:22.120 It's like, that's impossible.

00:36:23.160 There's no way he could be dead.

00:36:24.320 Like, and I was like, no, he, he, he really is.

00:36:27.780 And it was a, a tough thing to really come to terms with.

00:36:31.620 But, um, with any great reaction or any like chemical reaction, there is a catalyst.

00:36:38.540 Um, and I have to say everything, the reason I'm here and the reason I'm anywhere right now

00:36:44.620 is because of that conversation.

00:36:46.440 It was, uh, you know, you have a product and a reactant and then there's a catalyst.

00:36:52.260 And, um, and that, that conversation is what catalyzed my whole career.

00:36:58.460 Really?

00:36:58.840 And, uh, yeah.

00:37:00.240 Um, that write, write a good song for me, Stephen.

00:37:03.380 Oh.

00:37:03.860 It was, um, it was like a lifetime's worth of jet fuel for me to charge across the galaxy

00:37:13.060 and, and do everything I could to try and keep him alive.

00:37:17.680 Oh.

00:37:18.080 To try and, um, just tell the world about him that, you know, carry out his wish.

00:37:24.940 Yeah.

00:37:25.220 I mean, what, and what I found out is like, like carrying out his wish and, um, and keeping

00:37:33.140 him alive was keeping so many other people that, that other folks have lost, other humans

00:37:39.920 have lost alive.

00:37:40.960 He was resurrecting other people at the same time.

00:37:44.860 And these people were coming to shows with this, um, with his bounty of love that had

00:37:52.220 no place to go.

00:37:53.300 And that's what grief is essentially.

00:37:54.740 And, uh, and I gave them, you know, you know, these songs have given them a home for at least

00:38:02.800 maybe three and a half or four minutes.

00:38:04.520 And, uh, and, uh, and that's been, um, that's really been the charge of all of this.

00:38:10.760 That's been, um, the mission statement is, um, you know, at the very beginning was just

00:38:17.840 keep dad alive, keep him alive at all costs.

00:38:21.080 And, you know, like kind of a psychotic denial for the first couple of years that he was even

00:38:29.000 gone.

00:38:29.340 And I was like, no, he's, he's still around.

00:38:31.740 And I, and a lot of times I felt them on my shoulders, like a little kid.

00:38:35.160 It was really weird.

00:38:36.140 It was like this weird reversal of roles.

00:38:39.300 And, uh, well, now that he's free, he kind of could do as he wants, you know, he can be

00:38:42.520 on your shoulders.

00:38:43.300 Yeah.

00:38:43.480 He would show up like that.

00:38:44.820 And the reason why I play this song, Stand By Me, it's just literally, I, two weeks after

00:38:50.320 he died, uh, I was scheduled to play this songwriter festival in Deadwood, South Dakota.

00:38:55.840 And it's a, you know, it's in the Black Hills and it's a very spiritually charged area just

00:39:01.520 in general.

00:39:02.620 Yeah, for sure it is.

00:39:03.560 And the guy that runs it says, you don't have to play any music.

00:39:06.220 I know you're in a bad, bad spot.

00:39:08.380 I hadn't slept in a week.

00:39:09.520 And, and, uh, he's like, just come here and, you know, see what happens, you know, just

00:39:17.060 be around people.

00:39:17.860 Like, there's nothing but love for you here.

00:39:19.780 And, um, we, we know you've gone through it.

00:39:22.080 And, and at the end of the festival, they asked, you know, all the writers and stuff

00:39:27.280 there, um, if you wanted to play a cover, what's your favorite cover that you love?

00:39:32.160 And, and they did this big finale.

00:39:34.860 Um, I had been, for some reason, for about a year prior to my dad's death, I'd been singing

00:39:40.140 this song, Stand By Me in my living room, the exact way I play it now.

00:39:44.320 It just popped in your head to come, it just kind of came into you?

00:39:46.720 Yeah.

00:39:47.120 And like, for some reason I was, like, that song has haunted me my whole life because

00:39:50.900 of the movie Stand By Me.

00:39:52.120 Oh, for sure.

00:39:52.720 Yeah, that's a big part of a lot of people's, that movie was huge in people's lives for

00:39:57.240 so many little moments.

00:39:58.500 Yeah, like, I very much saw myself in the, the kid on the left, the Gordie, the Gordie

00:40:03.040 Lachance, no, um, was his name, Will Wheaton, like, the writer, the writer that was trying

00:40:08.820 to find a voice, the nerdy little writer kid on the left.

00:40:12.160 Yeah.

00:40:12.520 And, um, that song, like, was threaded so brilliantly throughout that film, and it's obviously

00:40:18.700 the title, but, um, because of that movie, which is also a Stephen King,

00:40:22.720 the story, that movie is based off a Stephen King novella called The Body.

00:40:27.440 So, you know, it was obviously a very haunting and dark theme, but, you know, that song really

00:40:32.680 haunted me because of that movie, and, um, I just started playing it.

00:40:36.420 I was, like, trying to, I don't know, kind of deconstruct it, try to process it in a

00:40:41.240 different way, and, um, when my dad died, fast forward to Deadwood, all I could play

00:40:47.900 was Stand By Me.

00:40:49.040 Wow.

00:40:49.240 And, um, I started playing it, and I'd really never played it for anybody like that, and

00:40:55.240 the whole place, like, just went crazy.

00:40:58.880 Like, and at that point, I was not an artist.

00:41:00.780 I, I'd just quit my job as a scientist.

00:41:03.500 I'd just, I'd been a published writer for maybe two years at that point, just trying to

00:41:09.040 get other artists to sing my songs.

00:41:11.060 And I never really saw myself as an artist, even though my dad did, like, he would always

00:41:16.960 be like, why don't you just sing these songs?

00:41:18.780 You sound great singing them.

00:41:20.020 But I would always argue with him, like, no, I don't do that.

00:41:22.340 I write them.

00:41:22.860 Someone else sings them.

00:41:24.520 But when I went up there to sing Stand By Me, um, I swear to God, he was, like, on my

00:41:29.140 shoulders like a little kid.

00:41:30.500 And I got so addicted to that feeling again.

00:41:35.420 Yeah.

00:41:35.780 Like, cause he, he, I mean, he was there.

00:41:38.600 He showed up.

00:41:39.460 And I, I truly believe he showed up at Bridgestone at the CMAs.

00:41:43.160 Like, he, he did.

00:41:44.100 He showed up that night.

00:41:45.820 And, uh.

00:41:46.280 Oh, I bet he was so proud of you.

00:41:47.320 Do you feel like he's proud of you?

00:41:49.560 Uh, yeah, I think so.

00:41:50.780 Yeah.

00:41:51.280 He, he was so proud of me before he died, before any of this happened.

00:41:55.180 And, um, I think, yeah, he, yeah, he would be very proud.

00:42:00.280 Um, I've been trying to make him proud my whole life, but.

00:42:05.440 What did he say?

00:42:06.220 Write a song for me or make us, what did he say? 0.91

00:42:08.140 Sorry, I'm fucking leaking over here. 0.95

00:42:09.820 No, man, I leak all the time. 0.91

00:42:11.820 I, I, yeah, dude, I listen to stuff that makes me cry all the time because I think I'm just 0.98

00:42:14.860 full of tears and I got to get these bitches out, even though I'm dehydrated half the time. 1.00

00:42:19.520 So I'm like, I don't even know what's going on here, dude. 0.98

00:42:21.860 No, I, it's good for you.

00:42:23.380 Like I'll, when my dad died, I swear all I did was cry for two years.

00:42:27.360 Uh, I, like, it's all I did.

00:42:29.480 Um, and lately, if you have, if you can find the tears, find them like right now.

00:42:34.800 I, I can't find them.

00:42:36.400 Yeah.

00:42:36.620 I mean, even though I, I, I get emotional, don't get me wrong, but.

00:42:40.480 Yeah.

00:42:40.620 Sometimes you have tears and sometimes you don't, it's like almost like seasons, you know,

00:42:43.660 it's almost like an ocean.

00:42:44.560 Sometimes it comes up on the shore and sometimes it's out to sea, you know, even though it's,

00:42:48.300 you know, it lives right.

00:42:49.900 Yeah.

00:42:50.180 So it's like, um, and especially, I think people that have had like a lot of things in

00:42:55.300 their life that have happened that haven't been processed.

00:42:58.740 Um, you know, it takes a long time.

00:43:01.860 And I think I've gotten grateful in my life over, over, over time where there, if I find

00:43:07.440 something that helps me process, I'll sit there and process it.

00:43:10.400 Like my brother says a lot of times he's like, yeah, getting rid of grief and like, like

00:43:15.000 trauma, like that old stuff.

00:43:16.360 And people use trauma as a buzzword, but getting rid of grief and stuff from the past, he's

00:43:20.200 like, it's like taking panties out of a bathtub one at a time.

00:43:22.700 He's like, you know, it just, it takes a long time and it's slow and it's just kind of arduous

00:43:27.880 work.

00:43:28.740 But, uh, but you just be grateful that, that it can kind of happen over time.

00:43:32.500 Um, what he said, make a good song for me, write a good song, write a good song.

00:43:37.980 Yeah.

00:43:38.120 Cause he knew that's what I was, that's all I could think about.

00:43:41.160 And that's the baton, man.

00:43:42.300 That's the baton.

00:43:43.260 Yeah.

00:43:43.500 He used to come to my, like all my shows and when I say shows, like playing for seven people

00:43:49.540 at writer's round or like, and he came to the Bluebird cafe.

00:43:54.240 I remember like how to, you remember when they had those giant phones that were like the size

00:43:58.740 of laptops, you know?

00:44:00.360 Oh, those T-Mobile sidekicks. 0.99

00:44:01.520 Yeah, baby, them bitches was beautiful. 1.00

00:44:03.280 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:03.420 He had one of those bad boys and he would just hold it up and record the whole show.

00:44:07.680 But he used to drive me crazy.

00:44:09.020 Oh dude, there's nothing crazier than watching like a boomer kind of like record something

00:44:13.680 or even just somebody from a generation above.

00:44:15.920 They're just, we went to the UFC fights the other day and some guy was recorded every single

00:44:20.520 fight.

00:44:20.820 I'm like, he had a front row seat and he was recording and there was a TV right next to him

00:44:25.760 playing the fights.

00:44:26.440 I'm like, you can just go home and watch.

00:44:28.280 Like, I just didn't understand what was going on.

00:44:30.420 Yeah.

00:44:30.820 But the fact that he was there and that he cared so much about it and that he loved watching

00:44:34.440 you do it.

00:44:35.200 Yeah.

00:44:36.380 There was this one song that's on the record called I'm a Song.

00:44:40.240 Oh yeah.

00:44:41.260 And he watched me play that for the first time at Bluebird Cafe.

00:44:44.980 I had just written it like that week.

00:44:46.620 Right over here?

00:44:47.460 Yeah.

00:44:47.760 Oh, cool.

00:44:48.200 Bluebird Cafe and he had his gigantic phone.

00:44:51.520 I'll never forget.

00:44:52.440 And I was like, dad, please put your phone down.

00:44:54.800 But he recorded that whole song and then he called me like a week later, kept talking

00:45:02.620 about that song.

00:45:03.440 And about a month before he died, his Father's Day weekend, I came up to see him and we went

00:45:10.720 to a tractor pool and then we went home and watched some fights.

00:45:13.520 And he goes, hey, Steven, you know that song you played at the Bluebird like a month ago?

00:45:21.060 It's called I'm a Song.

00:45:22.800 And I was like, well, how do you even know that?

00:45:24.680 Like I, you know, because I was in that point of like writing, you know, 200 songs a year.

00:45:30.300 I was writing, you know, 10 songs a week.

00:45:32.920 So like a month ago, like that I'm a Song was like 50 songs ago.

00:45:37.220 So I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I know that.

00:45:40.180 And he's like, yeah, you played at the Bluebird Cafe.

00:45:43.100 And he's like, that's, that's my favorite song.

00:45:46.400 And I was like, oh, thank you, dad.

00:45:48.460 And you're like, I thought he meant like it's my favorite song, his favorite song of mine.

00:45:53.340 And he was like, no, you listen to me.

00:45:56.460 That's my favorite song.

00:45:58.800 Wow.

00:45:59.440 And I was like, how are you even listening to it?

00:46:02.020 He'd been listening to me play it on the Bluebird, at the Bluebird on his gigantic T-Mobile, whatever that thing is.

00:46:09.720 And that's how he was.

00:46:11.940 He was actually my first fan.

00:46:14.920 And he was the, you know, he would breathe so much life into me.

00:46:22.720 He believed in me so much more than I ever believed in myself.

00:46:26.060 And I remember him saying, you should sing that song.

00:46:29.480 And when he died, I sang it at his funeral.

00:46:34.260 Oh.

00:46:34.760 And it was one of the hardest songs I've ever sang.

00:46:37.680 But in that moment, like that was, that was when, you know, I knew things were about to change.

00:46:44.700 And, but yeah, and that song has helped so many people.

00:46:48.840 And it's, I don't know, it's been a bit of a thesis statement for me.

00:46:54.180 And so when he said write a good song for me, he knew, he knew I had already written one, at least in his eyes, because it was his favorite song ever.

00:47:02.740 So, he knew, at least he had proof on his phone that I was capable of writing something great.

00:47:10.600 And he, I guess his last charge was to please keep going and don't stop.

00:47:16.560 And as a, you know.

00:47:18.200 It's got to feel good for him to be, like even in a moment, like, I mean, that's crazy to say this.

00:47:22.920 What am I talking about?

00:47:24.320 But in a moment of leaving the earth to know that you have a son or someone who can, who, you know, you've created that's capable.

00:47:35.660 You know, you have a child that you believe is capable.

00:47:37.900 I wonder what, you know what I'm saying?

00:47:38.860 Or something like that.

00:47:39.760 No, I, yeah.

00:47:40.720 And my other siblings are also very capable.

00:47:43.600 He's very proud of all of us equally.

00:47:45.580 But I think he, he knew something about me.

00:47:49.200 He was different, very young.

00:47:50.920 I was a very quiet kid, a very nerdy kid.

00:47:54.180 I was, I had his name and his eyes.

00:47:56.440 But, you know, outside of that, we were so different.

00:47:59.500 So, he, he, I think he just knew I was going to do something different.

00:48:04.280 He just, he's probably intrigued, I bet.

00:48:06.000 Yeah.

00:48:06.380 And I, like, picked up guitar and taught myself.

00:48:08.820 And he was, like, just always mesmerized by, like, my musical ability because it seemed like magic to him.

00:48:14.820 Because it was, it was God given.

00:48:17.900 Like, I, nobody taught me how to do this.

00:48:20.540 Really?

00:48:21.560 Yeah, I know.

00:48:21.960 Oh, you just picked it up and started playing?

00:48:23.660 Yeah, for the most part. 0.96

00:48:24.680 Yeah, I learned some tablature and, and, but, you know, I sucked real bad then. 0.64

00:48:29.460 But that was probably.

00:48:29.820 This is you right here?

00:48:30.620 Yeah, that was probably, like, a week after I got my first guitar.

00:48:34.240 If that even.

00:48:35.120 Let me see some of this.

00:48:36.080 That economics.

00:48:44.600 I think we're watching Mama's Family.

00:48:46.060 Yep.

00:48:47.060 Yeah.

00:48:47.700 That's a lithium.

00:48:49.520 Yeah.

00:48:51.100 Yeah.

00:48:52.140 Who is that?

00:48:53.400 Is that your dad now?

00:48:54.420 No, that's just some random old dude.

00:48:57.180 And this is after my dad had passed away.

00:48:59.340 None of this stuff.

00:49:00.440 All my whole music, I didn't have any music out when he was alive.

00:49:05.040 Oh, okay.

00:49:05.520 So they're just packaging this all up.

00:49:07.180 Yeah, this is all old VHS footage from when I was a kid.

00:49:10.580 That's me getting my first guitar for my 16th birthday,

00:49:13.620 even though I look like I'm 12.

00:49:14.980 Look how hot.

00:49:15.680 Go back.

00:49:18.080 Hold on.

00:49:18.520 Yeah, hold on.

00:49:19.020 Right, a little more.

00:49:20.380 Right there.

00:49:21.580 Look how happy.

00:49:22.260 You can see, though, how happy and cool.

00:49:24.140 Hands through the hair.

00:49:24.520 Yeah, you can see for a second.

00:49:26.080 See if you can catch his face a second earlier, maybe a second later.

00:49:28.720 It was pure joy.

00:49:29.520 You can see how bright there.

00:49:30.720 You can just see how happy he is, you know?

00:49:32.440 That's cool, dude.

00:49:33.880 Thank you.

00:49:34.280 I'm going to be cool now.

00:49:35.560 Oh, it's so fun, dude.

00:49:37.380 Yeah, I might actually have, you know,

00:49:39.620 I might actually be able to talk to a girl now.

00:49:41.760 Oh, dude.

00:49:42.540 Yeah, at least if you walk up with a guitar,

00:49:44.580 at least you're rocking his life.

00:49:45.900 At least they'll be like, hey, what do you do?

00:49:48.520 You know what I'm saying?

00:49:48.940 At least you have some sort of semblance

00:49:50.220 instead of hiding, putting hair in your eyes and hiding behind it.

00:49:53.120 That's what I did.

00:49:53.660 I said nothing to nobody.

00:49:55.220 Oh, dude.

00:49:55.720 That was most of my childhood when I was growing up.

00:49:58.580 I was thinking about what are the responsibilities of a son?

00:50:03.220 You know, people don't think about that a lot.

00:50:05.120 I think about what do my parents owe me a lot as a kid,

00:50:08.160 or I have probably.

00:50:09.260 You know, like, my parents didn't do this,

00:50:12.160 or my parents didn't do that.

00:50:13.700 You know, that's been, you know,

00:50:16.040 or some things didn't happen and should have happened.

00:50:18.280 That's fair.

00:50:19.000 But when I start to harp on the other stuff

00:50:21.060 and it gets into this, like, oh, woe is me,

00:50:23.640 or pity me type of thing, you know,

00:50:25.320 that can be kind of an unsafe area to go into.

00:50:29.500 But the two can be easily connected,

00:50:31.220 like things that, yes, a parent should do these things

00:50:33.320 or those things should be.

00:50:35.360 A child's life should include these things,

00:50:37.240 and they don't happen.

00:50:38.480 And then, well, a parent, they don't owe you these things,

00:50:40.860 but attaching those together.

00:50:43.160 But I never think about, like, what is it,

00:50:45.060 what are my responsibilities as a son, you know,

00:50:47.340 or as a child?

00:50:48.060 You know what I'm saying?

00:50:48.400 You don't think that.

00:50:49.560 Because at a certain point,

00:50:50.340 you do have some responsibility in it yourself, you know.

00:50:54.260 Yeah.

00:50:54.620 I mean, I've had a lot of thought about that,

00:51:00.020 and, you know, I grew up thinking the same thing as you,

00:51:04.760 like maybe, you know, things should have been different.

00:51:08.640 But at the same time,

00:51:09.780 I tend to think about my parents as children

00:51:12.300 because they had me as children.

00:51:14.840 They were like, it was a shotgun wedding.

00:51:16.420 My mama was six months pregnant. 1.00

00:51:18.500 They were teenagers having babies.

00:51:21.140 And so I also think about them like, oh, my gosh,

00:51:24.460 like I have a lot of sympathy for them as I was older.

00:51:27.900 But, you know, growing up, I had, you know,

00:51:29.640 anger and resentment towards certain things

00:51:32.000 that I did not understand.

00:51:34.420 But I've kind of tried to, you know,

00:51:39.760 understand that, you know,

00:51:42.680 it's very, like, biological

00:51:45.200 about, like, kind of how fathers and sons

00:51:49.720 or just children and their parents.

00:51:51.800 In the beginning of your father is, like, superhuman

00:51:58.680 or he's a superhero.

00:52:01.880 Like, humanize, demonize, and idolize

00:52:04.380 is kind of how I put it down.

00:52:06.520 So in the beginning, you idolize your father.

00:52:11.040 And you idolize everything they do.

00:52:13.020 I remember idolizing my father,

00:52:14.920 like, wanting to be a boxer just like him,

00:52:17.640 wanting to do so many things like him.

00:52:19.960 And I would hide in his shadow.

00:52:21.360 And I idolized him my whole childhood.

00:52:23.340 And then once I got into my teen years,

00:52:26.020 that's when that separation starts to begin.

00:52:28.720 And you start to demonize your parents.

00:52:32.020 And you go through this whole demonization

00:52:34.580 of your father or your parents.

00:52:37.780 And it's actually very biological.

00:52:39.740 This is how, like, you know,

00:52:41.260 genetic diversity was spread

00:52:43.720 because we're a tribal species.

00:52:46.240 So, like, the young boy,

00:52:49.020 the young man,

00:52:50.980 in his reproductive years

00:52:53.580 would start to demonize the parents

00:52:55.380 and get away from the tribe

00:52:57.160 and go join another tribe.

00:52:58.720 So he can procreate.

00:53:00.200 So he can procreate

00:53:01.140 and create genetic diversity.

00:53:03.100 Right, because if he procreates

00:53:03.960 too close to his own tribe,

00:53:05.100 he also risks, like, uh...

00:53:06.720 Yeah, inbreeding.

00:53:07.500 Yeah, like the guy

00:53:08.220 that taught me how to drive.

00:53:09.120 Yeah, exactly.

00:53:09.920 And I'm not saying no shade, Brandon.

00:53:11.280 I think he was bred properly.

00:53:12.640 It was just, you know,

00:53:13.680 God put some odd paints

00:53:14.780 in his palate.

00:53:16.860 We love you, Brandon.

00:53:17.720 Yeah, we do love you.

00:53:18.860 And actually, he passed away

00:53:19.640 a few years ago,

00:53:20.080 and we do love you.

00:53:20.760 He's a special guy.

00:53:21.560 Oh, man.

00:53:22.020 I'm so sorry, Brandon.

00:53:23.580 But, yeah, and then, as, you know,

00:53:25.260 I think eventually you come back home.

00:53:27.580 There's always, like,

00:53:28.140 this prodigal son kind of moment.

00:53:29.660 And that's where you humanize

00:53:30.840 your father.

00:53:31.840 Because that's what happened with me.

00:53:33.360 Like, you know,

00:53:33.740 you start off as a kid idolizing it.

00:53:35.740 You get to teenage years,

00:53:37.080 those years that I, you know,

00:53:38.240 he got me that guitar.

00:53:39.140 I was probably going to start

00:53:40.820 demonizing him soon.

00:53:42.840 And...

00:53:43.160 He wanted you to at least

00:53:43.740 have a backbeat for it.

00:53:44.860 Yeah, exactly.

00:53:45.860 Something to put all those

00:53:47.380 angsty lyrics into it.

00:53:48.920 At least put that anger to lyrics.

00:53:51.400 Yeah.

00:53:51.940 At least make it a bop.

00:53:53.540 And then...

00:53:53.900 That's hilarious.

00:53:54.340 And then I remember

00:53:55.100 when I was 25,

00:53:56.520 like, I was sitting on the porch

00:53:57.900 with my dad,

00:53:58.720 and I just remembered,

00:54:00.540 I was like,

00:54:01.220 you're just a dude.

00:54:02.500 Oh, yeah.

00:54:03.260 And that's when I,

00:54:04.040 the humanization hit.

00:54:05.520 And I was like,

00:54:05.980 you're just another dude

00:54:07.280 doing the best you can.

00:54:09.500 And I could see it

00:54:10.340 in his eyes,

00:54:10.860 and we were just kind of like,

00:54:12.360 we were,

00:54:13.500 you know,

00:54:13.760 the father and son dynamic

00:54:14.940 was still there,

00:54:15.700 but he was now a friend

00:54:17.060 and something bigger

00:54:18.640 than a father.

00:54:19.520 Well, he's another human,

00:54:20.300 like you're saying.

00:54:20.820 He's just another human.

00:54:21.720 And that's a tough moment.

00:54:22.680 It's an interesting moment,

00:54:24.060 too,

00:54:24.180 to look at,

00:54:24.640 because it's almost,

00:54:27.600 it almost breaks down

00:54:28.900 the wars you were fighting

00:54:30.080 or the whatever.

00:54:30.860 You know,

00:54:31.080 it breaks down,

00:54:31.900 like,

00:54:32.500 a lot.

00:54:32.940 It breaks down everything.

00:54:33.400 Right.

00:54:33.540 It breaks down the pedestal

00:54:34.580 you held this person on

00:54:35.460 in a way,

00:54:35.960 in a way,

00:54:36.360 some of it,

00:54:37.200 but it also breaks down

00:54:38.180 if you've been demonizing

00:54:39.240 it,

00:54:39.500 like,

00:54:40.040 well,

00:54:40.220 who am I fighting?

00:54:40.920 I'm not fighting against,

00:54:41.860 you know,

00:54:42.400 the 20,

00:54:43.080 the 32-year-old dad,

00:54:44.600 the guy that I knew

00:54:45.520 who,

00:54:45.820 like,

00:54:46.300 walked by me

00:54:46.960 and didn't glance,

00:54:47.660 or whatever your thoughts are,

00:54:48.960 whatever your,

00:54:49.660 whatever,

00:54:51.600 like,

00:54:52.380 you're envisioning,

00:54:53.700 that's not there anymore.

00:54:54.980 Yeah.

00:54:55.240 You know,

00:54:55.540 and it's like,

00:54:55.980 then this whole,

00:54:57.160 like,

00:54:57.420 baton that I'm still carrying

00:54:58.620 of anger,

00:54:59.300 that's not even real.

00:55:00.640 Yeah.

00:55:01.120 So what's really happening

00:55:02.340 here with me?

00:55:03.180 And that's like a moment

00:55:04.020 you kind of have to look

00:55:04.880 at yourself as well,

00:55:06.260 and that's kind of painful.

00:55:07.540 Yeah,

00:55:07.860 it's very much

00:55:08.840 a self-reflective moment,

00:55:10.180 and you kind of start

00:55:11.140 to see kind of,

00:55:13.060 like,

00:55:13.420 man, 1.00

00:55:13.660 I was a selfish little shit, 1.00

00:55:15.780 or I was, 1.00

00:55:16.860 you know,

00:55:17.180 maybe you were justified

00:55:18.260 in certain areas,

00:55:19.240 but,

00:55:19.720 or,

00:55:20.480 yeah,

00:55:20.680 at the end of the day,

00:55:21.420 they're just another human

00:55:22.820 doing the best they can,

00:55:24.160 just like you.

00:55:25.060 And who am I going to be now?

00:55:26.440 That's the thing, too.

00:55:27.480 Yeah.

00:55:27.900 And sometimes I go back

00:55:28.840 and I put on my old,

00:55:29.800 my,

00:55:29.960 sometimes I go back

00:55:32.200 and I'm the same person,

00:55:33.100 but more often than not

00:55:34.640 these days,

00:55:35.040 I do a decent job

00:55:36.500 of like,

00:55:38.380 well,

00:55:38.620 let me be the leader

00:55:39.360 instead of saying,

00:55:40.340 you should have led me

00:55:41.240 or you should,

00:55:42.140 let me,

00:55:43.620 let me grow up.

00:55:44.480 It's like,

00:55:44.940 how many times do, 0.99

00:55:46.220 am I going to fucking miss 0.99

00:55:47.460 the grow up bus, 0.98

00:55:48.480 you know?

00:55:48.980 Like,

00:55:49.320 I'm on it,

00:55:50.300 but still,

00:55:51.180 sometimes I'll be there

00:55:52.200 at the stop in the morning

00:55:53.120 and I'll be like,

00:55:53.620 nah, 1.00

00:55:53.760 I'm going to let that bitch 1.00

00:55:54.400 go today. 1.00

00:55:55.300 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:55:55.980 I ain't getting on that bitch today. 1.00

00:55:58.000 So some of that's interesting 0.99

00:55:59.540 and it's interesting

00:56:00.120 to look at

00:56:00.740 and you're still just a human

00:56:02.520 looking at it

00:56:03.200 and trying to figure it out.

00:56:04.540 Yeah.

00:56:05.180 Yeah,

00:56:05.480 well,

00:56:05.780 it's,

00:56:06.000 I think all part of the journey

00:56:07.520 and like,

00:56:08.080 it all,

00:56:08.880 it's rooted in something

00:56:10.300 very old.

00:56:11.280 like,

00:56:11.700 I always thought

00:56:12.240 like that teen angst thing

00:56:13.760 was like something created

00:56:15.620 in the 90s or something.

00:56:17.080 It's like,

00:56:17.500 no,

00:56:17.740 this is pre-biblical.

00:56:19.300 This is,

00:56:20.000 this is something

00:56:21.040 that's been going on

00:56:22.080 for a long time.

00:56:23.040 Yeah.

00:56:23.340 If you study primates enough

00:56:24.840 and you,

00:56:25.960 you,

00:56:26.340 you can really kind of see

00:56:28.340 a lot of,

00:56:29.140 you can learn a lot

00:56:29.980 about humans

00:56:30.700 by studying primates

00:56:31.920 because they're also,

00:56:32.820 you know,

00:56:33.500 we're technically primates too.

00:56:35.660 Yeah,

00:56:36.080 there's rumors.

00:56:37.000 There's rumors.

00:56:37.740 Yeah,

00:56:37.900 I mean,

00:56:38.140 we're all part of the animal kingdom,

00:56:39.940 kingdom,

00:56:40.440 animaliae

00:56:41.120 and we are,

00:56:41.960 of the,

00:56:44.540 we're technically

00:56:45.340 of the greater apes.

00:56:46.640 That's what they call us.

00:56:47.100 What do you think happened?

00:56:48.040 Do you think,

00:56:49.300 do you think we,

00:56:51.820 what do you think there

00:56:52.660 about evolution?

00:56:53.260 Because it's so tricky,

00:56:54.380 you know,

00:56:54.620 it's so like,

00:56:55.980 because we're the only people

00:56:57.220 that are out here,

00:56:57.960 it feels like suffering

00:56:59.020 like this sometimes.

00:57:00.240 Can I take a piss

00:57:01.060 and get back to this question?

00:57:02.260 Because this is going to,

00:57:03.100 this has got an answer.

00:57:04.320 Yeah,

00:57:04.500 let's take a break

00:57:05.080 and piss, 0.99

00:57:05.600 man.

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00:58:48.880 Is pornography

00:58:49.480 causing a problem

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00:58:52.080 Do you find yourself 0.78

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00:58:54.160 for longer periods

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00:58:57.640 Is porn

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00:59:09.020 and oftentimes 0.93

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01:00:21.700 Thank you.

01:00:24.020 There you go, brother.

01:00:28.980 Popping into that

01:00:29.820 Celsius, brother.

01:00:31.100 I'll have a little with you.

01:00:32.460 Let's do it.

01:00:33.220 There you go.

01:00:34.000 Steven Wilson Jr.

01:00:35.200 right there.

01:00:38.560 Yeah, I remember

01:00:39.280 I came to

01:00:39.860 and we just took

01:00:40.620 a bathroom break

01:00:41.180 and Steven put on

01:00:41.740 a nice sweater.

01:00:42.460 Yeah, I did.

01:00:42.980 It's nice.

01:00:44.420 It looks like

01:00:45.160 my grandma's curtain

01:00:46.920 so it feels...

01:00:48.760 Oh, yeah, dude.

01:00:49.880 My grandmother,

01:00:52.540 she... 1.00

01:00:53.140 My grandfather

01:00:53.640 worked at a factory

01:00:54.480 in their town.

01:00:55.180 It was a small town

01:00:55.760 called Wyoming, Illinois.

01:00:56.780 It was real small

01:00:57.560 but it was nice

01:00:59.080 when we went there

01:00:59.620 because it just

01:01:00.180 the world kind of

01:01:01.040 made sense there

01:01:01.920 a little more.

01:01:02.760 It was like a safe place

01:01:03.760 to be.

01:01:04.240 They had a park

01:01:04.700 right across the street

01:01:05.600 and they had a garden

01:01:07.400 where like most people

01:01:08.120 had gardens

01:01:08.760 where they grew

01:01:09.720 like strawberries

01:01:10.600 and tomatoes.

01:01:12.160 Everybody had tomato plants,

01:01:13.420 cherry tomato plants

01:01:14.420 and the summers,

01:01:15.600 the roads would bubble

01:01:16.600 in the summer

01:01:17.120 from the tar

01:01:17.780 and so it was like

01:01:19.360 kind of crazy

01:01:20.160 because every now

01:01:22.100 and then

01:01:22.460 you'd somehow 1.00

01:01:23.160 you'd be an idiot 1.00

01:01:24.060 at least once a year 1.00

01:01:25.720 and you would run

01:01:26.680 across to the park

01:01:27.540 but you would not

01:01:28.120 have your shoes on

01:01:28.720 and you would hit that road

01:01:29.620 and you would literally...

01:01:31.560 You would have

01:01:32.640 what we called

01:01:33.540 NAACP feet,

01:01:35.480 you know?

01:01:35.980 And I don't know

01:01:36.540 if that's a racially

01:01:37.160 charged terminal.

01:01:37.840 I don't think it is.

01:01:38.700 I think it's safe

01:01:39.460 but yeah,

01:01:40.520 you would get...

01:01:41.140 You would just...

01:01:41.920 But the crazy part is

01:01:43.060 once you got the NAACP

01:01:44.280 you'd be faster at the park

01:01:45.620 and that was the craziest part too.

01:01:46.940 Yeah,

01:01:47.860 I mean you got that

01:01:48.400 extra soul now.

01:01:49.300 Oh yeah,

01:01:49.720 that's what it was.

01:01:50.580 Yeah,

01:01:50.840 you got something to grip now.

01:01:52.300 Oh dude,

01:01:52.720 you were dude.

01:01:53.560 Oh,

01:01:53.820 you went home

01:01:54.480 my grandmother knew.

01:01:55.440 Bio souls.

01:01:56.300 Yeah,

01:01:56.720 you were locked in.

01:01:57.320 Like you got a free pair

01:01:58.340 of Nikes.

01:01:59.420 Yeah,

01:01:59.780 you did bro.

01:02:02.000 But there was

01:02:02.720 so many fun things

01:02:03.900 just about being

01:02:04.520 in like a small

01:02:05.300 Midwestern community.

01:02:07.820 The safety of it,

01:02:08.820 the bike riding,

01:02:10.420 the like baseball cards.

01:02:12.500 Dude,

01:02:12.600 we would go to this place

01:02:13.520 and they had a dime store.

01:02:15.360 The smell of them. 1.00

01:02:15.720 The shitty chewing gum 1.00

01:02:17.620 in the pack. 0.99

01:02:18.500 That was so stale.

01:02:19.360 It was so gross.

01:02:20.120 You'd eat it anyway.

01:02:20.740 I chewed it every time.

01:02:21.440 Yes.

01:02:21.780 I'd be like every time.

01:02:22.860 I don't care how bad it is.

01:02:23.960 Sometimes it would just disintegrate.

01:02:25.500 Yeah.

01:02:25.920 Somebody would like break off

01:02:27.140 and like you could

01:02:28.340 open a box with it.

01:02:30.900 Yeah,

01:02:31.460 you could dude.

01:02:32.780 And every card

01:02:33.700 was Mark Grace.

01:02:34.560 I felt like

01:02:35.020 every card

01:02:35.820 was Mark Grace.

01:02:36.780 Grace too.

01:02:37.460 Or Sean Dunstan

01:02:38.660 or Chris Sabo.

01:02:40.960 They were all

01:02:41.440 Wade Boggs.

01:02:42.220 Yes.

01:02:42.820 Yeah.

01:02:43.560 Sabo.

01:02:44.280 Gosh, man.

01:02:44.940 You're dropping heat.

01:02:46.320 Well, dude,

01:02:46.800 I mean,

01:02:47.100 your song 1994

01:02:48.680 was like

01:02:49.320 it's just one of the best

01:02:50.420 pieces of nostalgia.

01:02:52.680 No.

01:02:52.960 Like I remember,

01:02:54.100 yeah.

01:02:55.060 I remember like

01:02:56.140 when I was a kid

01:02:57.980 my mom had this rug

01:02:59.220 in her room

01:02:59.740 and it was like a

01:03:00.500 I think it was a cow. 0.94

01:03:02.320 I don't know where

01:03:02.780 she got it from

01:03:03.660 or something.

01:03:03.920 But it was kind of like

01:03:04.380 a prized possession.

01:03:05.480 It was just like

01:03:05.980 a cow skin rug. 0.81

01:03:07.420 It could have been 0.99

01:03:08.040 a damn Dalmatian 1.00

01:03:09.060 or something. 1.00

01:03:09.440 I don't know.

01:03:09.760 It looked like

01:03:10.440 it could have been

01:03:12.280 a big Dalmatian.

01:03:13.900 It could have been

01:03:14.560 Dalmatian rug.

01:03:15.580 It could have been

01:03:16.240 a great Dane

01:03:16.940 and we got swindled.

01:03:18.000 But anyway,

01:03:19.580 she said it was a cow

01:03:23.640 and I would lay there

01:03:26.100 and I would like

01:03:27.600 put my face right

01:03:28.500 and I would inhale it

01:03:29.880 and like

01:03:30.460 because I didn't get

01:03:31.420 to spend a lot of time

01:03:32.060 with my mom

01:03:32.420 but sometimes at night

01:03:33.540 like

01:03:33.860 she would put on

01:03:34.940 hand cream or something

01:03:35.980 and that was like

01:03:36.800 a big thing.

01:03:38.220 When I was a kid

01:03:39.040 hand cream came out

01:03:40.220 for women

01:03:40.640 and so women 1.00

01:03:41.280 were always just put

01:03:42.640 I mean God.

01:03:44.380 I'd be like mom

01:03:44.820 do you love me

01:03:45.440 and she'd be like

01:03:45.780 well hold on

01:03:46.220 let me put this

01:03:46.680 hand cream on.

01:03:47.680 You know?

01:03:48.360 It was yeah

01:03:48.800 it was just

01:03:49.840 she had

01:03:50.700 every woman at the time

01:03:51.800 had to have hand cream 0.89

01:03:52.940 it's like

01:03:53.200 they couldn't even

01:03:54.400 cook anymore

01:03:55.020 because they couldn't

01:03:55.780 open the cupboards

01:03:57.500 because they just

01:03:58.140 were too

01:03:58.560 they would slip

01:03:59.820 out of their hands.

01:04:00.480 I think women 1.00

01:04:00.900 were just looking

01:04:01.320 for an excuse

01:04:02.020 to get out of the kitchen

01:04:02.540 so I can't pick up

01:04:03.540 a pot.

01:04:04.940 Absolutely

01:04:05.180 I'll drop it.

01:04:06.100 I have too much

01:04:06.760 hand cream on it.

01:04:07.120 Everything's cast iron

01:04:07.960 back then

01:04:08.440 and heavy.

01:04:08.740 It was like

01:04:09.340 we can't

01:04:10.040 we can't afford

01:04:10.900 to lose any of this

01:04:11.900 but I would lay in there

01:04:14.200 and I would like

01:04:15.680 put my face

01:04:16.380 on the carpet

01:04:16.920 like on the rug

01:04:18.420 and I would inhale

01:04:20.660 that smell

01:04:21.180 of like leather

01:04:21.980 and I would just

01:04:24.140 kind of pretend

01:04:24.940 that like

01:04:25.440 I lived in like

01:04:26.400 a different world

01:04:27.280 or that like

01:04:27.940 like we didn't have

01:04:28.860 a dad around

01:04:29.440 so I don't know

01:04:30.100 if I'd pretend

01:04:30.620 like there was

01:04:31.000 like this manly

01:04:31.900 energy

01:04:32.320 or just something

01:04:33.200 you know

01:04:33.800 it would kind of

01:04:34.260 like the smell

01:04:35.080 would fuel

01:04:35.820 my imagination

01:04:37.360 you know

01:04:38.640 and I would just

01:04:39.260 fantasize

01:04:39.980 that like we lived

01:04:40.620 on like a

01:04:41.160 Ponderosa

01:04:42.320 or that we lived

01:04:43.200 out in like

01:04:44.000 New Mexico

01:04:45.400 or Texas

01:04:46.460 or something

01:04:47.160 you know

01:04:47.580 or like

01:04:48.060 I don't know

01:04:49.140 just that things

01:04:50.020 were different

01:04:50.580 but there was

01:04:51.300 something about

01:04:51.940 when you were a kid

01:04:52.840 or when you were young

01:04:54.660 and just putting

01:04:55.200 your face

01:04:55.640 on the carpet

01:04:56.140 it was like

01:04:56.640 we used to do

01:04:57.200 there wasn't

01:04:57.920 you weren't on your

01:04:58.520 phone all the time

01:04:59.340 and TV

01:05:00.460 you couldn't just

01:05:01.000 have whatever

01:05:01.280 you wanted

01:05:01.760 so you

01:05:02.200 you would just

01:05:03.440 do kind of

01:05:04.040 crazy things

01:05:05.120 you'd look

01:05:05.540 under the couch

01:05:06.240 just to see

01:05:06.860 what was under there

01:05:07.620 like nobody

01:05:08.180 does that anymore

01:05:08.980 yeah

01:05:09.680 yeah that was

01:05:11.280 exciting

01:05:11.780 that was almost

01:05:12.300 like taking a vacation

01:05:13.280 or whatever

01:05:13.600 just looking under there

01:05:14.380 get a flashlight

01:05:15.060 man

01:05:15.440 blow your mind

01:05:16.380 there's a whole

01:05:17.580 other world

01:05:18.120 under here

01:05:18.740 like spiders

01:05:19.680 there's like

01:05:20.360 yes

01:05:20.760 you'd be curious

01:05:21.820 about your own world

01:05:22.900 you were curious

01:05:23.960 about the things

01:05:24.620 you had in your own world

01:05:25.680 and you'd ask

01:05:26.280 mama what is this for

01:05:27.580 why do we have this

01:05:28.320 there was just a lot more

01:05:29.700 like the storytelling

01:05:31.260 you needed

01:05:32.040 it was like

01:05:32.600 more prevalent

01:05:33.800 you know

01:05:34.320 and you had to tell a story

01:05:35.760 you had to find some value

01:05:36.980 like we created the stories

01:05:38.740 there wasn't like the internet

01:05:39.840 where you could just go

01:05:40.660 and like

01:05:41.080 oh share this link

01:05:42.780 you know

01:05:43.140 we like

01:05:44.080 that's why the storytellers

01:05:46.080 were so valuable then

01:05:47.080 because it was like

01:05:47.440 oh you gotta ask him

01:05:48.620 the only way you're gonna hear this

01:05:49.860 is if you ask him

01:05:51.220 you know

01:05:51.600 or her

01:05:52.420 and they're gonna tell you about it

01:05:53.760 and man that was the best

01:05:54.940 what do you think

01:05:55.600 this may be

01:05:57.320 I may be out of place here

01:05:59.040 but

01:05:59.300 you know

01:06:00.780 because

01:06:01.000 I feel like stand-up comedy

01:06:03.060 and songwriting

01:06:03.960 is kind of our last

01:06:05.160 that's our

01:06:06.480 that's our

01:06:07.820 that is our storytelling

01:06:09.240 now

01:06:09.780 because yeah

01:06:10.320 like you're right

01:06:10.820 people don't pass down

01:06:12.020 those stories generally anymore

01:06:13.600 like they used to

01:06:14.600 and

01:06:14.780 I wonder if people are craving

01:06:16.660 comedy

01:06:17.960 and

01:06:18.600 creating songwriting

01:06:19.980 craving songwriting

01:06:21.140 in the

01:06:22.100 in the same way

01:06:22.920 that you know

01:06:23.580 we

01:06:23.800 we used to

01:06:24.880 because

01:06:25.320 there maybe is a lack of that

01:06:27.220 those stories being passed down

01:06:28.920 and that

01:06:29.260 because I feel like

01:06:31.160 you know

01:06:31.500 great comedians

01:06:33.220 are great storytellers

01:06:34.440 and great songwriters

01:06:35.400 are great storytellers

01:06:36.740 and

01:06:36.940 and that is something that

01:06:38.900 our culture is

01:06:40.620 really not

01:06:41.840 latching on to

01:06:43.040 is telling stories

01:06:44.180 even like a good joke

01:06:45.420 you know

01:06:45.740 it's hard to find somebody

01:06:46.760 you know

01:06:47.920 when I was growing up

01:06:49.000 there would always be like

01:06:49.940 somebody that would just have

01:06:51.980 like a thousand jokes

01:06:53.200 and they weren't comedians

01:06:54.560 they weren't professional comedians

01:06:56.060 and they

01:06:56.380 they weren't

01:06:57.320 wanting to be

01:06:58.680 and

01:06:58.940 but they just had a myriad of jokes

01:07:01.300 which are basically stories

01:07:02.620 like they would go

01:07:03.700 you know

01:07:04.080 they would infuse the jokes

01:07:05.440 into the stories

01:07:06.320 like you wouldn't know

01:07:07.000 if they were telling the truth or not

01:07:08.320 oh yeah

01:07:08.860 and I was like

01:07:09.700 it's kind of a lost art

01:07:10.920 that you don't really see

01:07:12.640 like happening a lot anymore

01:07:14.680 and

01:07:15.000 yeah they had good storytellers

01:07:16.440 well storytelling was a big thing

01:07:17.780 well I think this is

01:07:18.880 this is a more general way

01:07:20.280 to look at it

01:07:20.780 I think we've lost some creativity

01:07:22.480 yeah

01:07:23.340 and I think we've lost creativity

01:07:24.760 in a lot of ways

01:07:25.460 I think it's one of the reasons

01:07:26.700 why Los Angeles has struggled

01:07:28.020 in some ways

01:07:28.620 because

01:07:29.360 in the beginning

01:07:30.220 Hollywood

01:07:30.820 Hollywood has kind of struggled

01:07:32.360 in some ways

01:07:33.640 and I say this like

01:07:35.700 in the sense that

01:07:36.980 it started to feel super uncreative

01:07:39.600 out there

01:07:40.100 yeah

01:07:40.660 right

01:07:40.880 and I don't mean to speak bad on that

01:07:42.440 but I just think it's a note for

01:07:43.900 that we've just

01:07:47.260 we've

01:07:47.600 we're missing some creativity

01:07:49.320 in the world

01:07:50.180 and I think

01:07:50.580 the gatekeepers of creativity

01:07:52.540 are starting to fall

01:07:53.800 so I think you are like

01:07:54.820 I think we're in a desperate place

01:07:56.760 for creativity

01:07:57.620 and for authenticity

01:07:59.180 where creativity

01:08:00.000 you feel like it's

01:08:00.700 there's something

01:08:01.860 genuine about it

01:08:03.540 yeah

01:08:03.900 maybe

01:08:04.280 I don't know

01:08:05.040 it's a great question man

01:08:06.640 I think authentic is

01:08:09.360 like you said

01:08:10.620 because it's really hard

01:08:11.860 to authenticate anything anymore

01:08:14.040 it's kind of hard to find out

01:08:16.240 what is real

01:08:16.920 and what is not

01:08:18.400 and

01:08:18.720 you know

01:08:20.440 I tend to authenticate things

01:08:23.140 with

01:08:23.480 emotions and experience

01:08:25.780 like

01:08:26.160 if I write a song

01:08:27.380 I kind of have to write it from

01:08:29.660 I can't write

01:08:31.480 or perform anything

01:08:33.000 that I cannot authenticate

01:08:35.280 from my own experiences

01:08:36.800 and my own emotions

01:08:38.000 so

01:08:38.580 did that make it tough

01:08:39.960 for you to write songs

01:08:40.640 for other people

01:08:41.380 I think that was a big challenge

01:08:43.140 for me

01:08:43.700 trying to get other people

01:08:45.260 to see the

01:08:46.560 authentication

01:08:47.980 of my emotions

01:08:49.700 and

01:08:50.960 and finding that

01:08:52.060 authenticity

01:08:53.320 within themselves

01:08:54.240 perhaps

01:08:54.640 and that alignment

01:08:55.980 happening

01:08:56.660 for sure

01:08:57.280 was a difficult challenge

01:08:58.860 and

01:08:59.180 and for you

01:08:59.840 say you write a song

01:09:00.560 you somebody takes it

01:09:01.460 or somebody accepts it

01:09:02.280 you know

01:09:02.500 as a

01:09:02.780 and they're gonna cut it

01:09:04.100 and then you're like

01:09:05.860 it doesn't really fit that person

01:09:07.320 that's a nightmare too

01:09:08.680 that you don't think about

01:09:09.680 and then it's really tough

01:09:11.120 yeah

01:09:11.640 did it ever happen to you

01:09:12.700 yeah it did

01:09:14.140 and I mean

01:09:14.920 and

01:09:15.600 but you know

01:09:16.180 I think a lot of it

01:09:16.920 is that they weren't able

01:09:17.740 to authenticate

01:09:19.280 the emotion

01:09:20.100 that I

01:09:20.480 that

01:09:21.380 that the music

01:09:22.320 had come from

01:09:23.000 that it

01:09:23.420 had originated from

01:09:25.300 and

01:09:26.260 that's not their fault

01:09:27.580 and it's really not mine

01:09:28.880 it was just kind of

01:09:29.520 the nature

01:09:29.940 of the business

01:09:30.780 but yeah

01:09:32.280 I think

01:09:32.700 you know

01:09:33.380 it's tough

01:09:34.760 if I've had any advantages

01:09:36.360 I can

01:09:36.680 the only way

01:09:37.280 I can create a song

01:09:38.840 is

01:09:39.080 is

01:09:39.460 is I have to authenticate it

01:09:41.700 in something truly real

01:09:42.860 I can't like

01:09:43.600 I can't do fantasy music

01:09:45.200 I can't like

01:09:46.100 I can't be like

01:09:47.580 something

01:09:48.200 I can't be Superman

01:09:50.220 I can't be a Marvel character

01:09:51.860 and right

01:09:52.340 I can't

01:09:53.180 play something I'm not

01:09:54.960 I think it's because

01:09:55.800 there's too much of you

01:09:56.800 already who you are

01:09:57.860 that I don't even think

01:09:59.380 you know

01:09:59.740 it would fit

01:10:00.420 you're just a rare foot

01:10:01.640 you know what I'm saying

01:10:03.020 so it's like

01:10:03.800 a rare foot

01:10:04.940 it's like

01:10:05.360 yeah

01:10:05.540 some feet

01:10:06.060 it can be like

01:10:06.500 oh we'll put it in something

01:10:07.540 it'll look good here

01:10:08.780 it'll look good here

01:10:09.560 but I think

01:10:10.640 when you're like

01:10:11.120 no that's

01:10:11.900 that's

01:10:12.700 yeah I was called

01:10:13.880 different a lot

01:10:14.840 as a kid

01:10:15.380 it was not a compliment

01:10:16.360 most of the time

01:10:17.560 it was really

01:10:18.640 but

01:10:19.020 I have to say

01:10:20.180 it has been an advantage

01:10:21.460 of as of late

01:10:22.520 and uh

01:10:23.140 like

01:10:23.660 being the weirdo

01:10:24.740 finally helped out

01:10:25.820 and uh

01:10:26.680 oh for sure

01:10:27.740 you know

01:10:28.420 for so long

01:10:29.000 you're Clark Kent

01:10:29.700 and you're in there

01:10:30.200 just you know

01:10:31.080 changing clothes

01:10:31.880 in a phone booth

01:10:32.600 or whatever

01:10:32.900 and people like

01:10:33.360 this guy 1.00

01:10:33.820 is a pervert 1.00

01:10:34.540 or whatever 0.94

01:10:34.920 and then eventually

01:10:36.020 you come out

01:10:36.620 and think

01:10:36.880 some things

01:10:37.360 start to fit

01:10:38.020 um

01:10:38.780 I've heard you say

01:10:39.760 I've heard you say

01:10:40.500 that songwriting

01:10:41.360 kind of was like

01:10:42.100 a survival tool

01:10:44.280 for you

01:10:44.880 mm-hmm

01:10:45.720 that's the right words

01:10:47.040 no yeah

01:10:47.840 it was like

01:10:48.540 it was my therapy

01:10:49.940 especially in those

01:10:50.900 first couple years

01:10:51.900 after my dad died

01:10:53.140 like I

01:10:53.820 I kind of uh

01:10:56.160 I used science

01:10:58.060 and songwriting

01:10:58.960 at the same time

01:11:00.080 because

01:11:00.680 I have a lot of

01:11:01.540 training in science

01:11:02.460 I went and got

01:11:03.120 a science degree

01:11:03.940 I worked

01:11:04.420 would you go to Purdue

01:11:05.360 no I went to MTSU

01:11:07.220 oh you did

01:11:07.700 yeah

01:11:08.140 and I worked at Mars

01:11:09.280 the food company

01:11:10.600 and R&D for them

01:11:11.720 as a food scientist

01:11:13.280 no way

01:11:13.800 yeah

01:11:14.040 Mars candies

01:11:14.960 yeah

01:11:15.360 research and development

01:11:16.180 for them

01:11:16.600 yeah

01:11:17.000 they're based

01:11:17.900 they're based

01:11:18.460 and y'all make Snickers

01:11:19.000 huh

01:11:19.280 they do

01:11:20.040 but I actually

01:11:20.480 I worked in pet food

01:11:21.880 for them

01:11:22.320 which is based out

01:11:23.280 here in Nashville

01:11:24.100 um

01:11:25.100 the Nashville area

01:11:25.980 at least

01:11:26.340 oh god

01:11:26.680 if you were snacking

01:11:27.500 on that huh

01:11:28.200 yep

01:11:28.580 that's me right there 1.00

01:11:29.420 shit 0.99

01:11:29.720 I wouldn't even go to work 1.00

01:11:30.680 if that's all they had 1.00

01:11:31.360 in the damn snack bowl 1.00

01:11:32.360 yep 1.00

01:11:32.820 and they did

01:11:33.760 they had like

01:11:34.300 buckets of Snickers

01:11:35.520 I put on like

01:11:36.440 30 pounds

01:11:37.020 oh I was talking

01:11:37.560 about pet food

01:11:38.460 no

01:11:38.920 oh yeah

01:11:39.320 I'm like

01:11:40.760 I'd wear

01:11:41.100 if I ate that much

01:11:42.580 pet food 0.99

01:11:43.000 I'd wear a damn 0.99

01:11:43.620 I'd wear a damn 1.00

01:11:44.440 helmet too 1.00

01:11:44.980 that's insane

01:11:45.720 people did eat

01:11:46.900 pet food there

01:11:47.540 I saw it

01:11:48.100 would they

01:11:48.500 would some people

01:11:48.900 try a little

01:11:49.360 got used to it

01:11:49.960 yeah

01:11:50.100 I'd see some people

01:11:51.040 do it

01:11:51.500 like sometimes

01:11:52.280 like you know

01:11:53.100 you'd see some

01:11:53.640 high level people

01:11:54.360 do it too

01:11:54.920 like

01:11:55.200 it's like

01:11:55.580 you don't need

01:11:56.100 to do this dude 1.00

01:11:56.880 oh shit 1.00

01:11:57.380 that's just 1.00

01:11:57.740 Cracker Jack Russell

01:11:58.720 you know

01:11:59.120 they're just trying

01:11:59.740 to like

01:12:00.120 you know

01:12:00.640 get down

01:12:01.220 you know

01:12:02.160 get down

01:12:02.580 with us

01:12:02.960 a little bit

01:12:03.560 oh yeah

01:12:04.200 some people

01:12:04.560 love animals

01:12:05.100 so much

01:12:05.580 they'll have

01:12:05.880 you know

01:12:06.380 there's people

01:12:06.820 even videos

01:12:07.640 of people

01:12:07.880 that will

01:12:08.180 snack with

01:12:08.880 them

01:12:09.020 and have

01:12:09.320 those little

01:12:09.660 treats

01:12:10.220 yeah

01:12:10.580 I don't advise

01:12:11.360 it from a

01:12:11.820 microbiological

01:12:12.700 perspective

01:12:13.340 really

01:12:13.820 because I have

01:12:14.500 a micro degree

01:12:15.480 as well

01:12:15.920 I wouldn't eat

01:12:17.020 raw cat food

01:12:17.920 like wet cat food

01:12:18.960 I mean

01:12:19.240 it does go through

01:12:20.740 like a cooking process 1.00

01:12:22.000 that shit makes my winger soft 1.00

01:12:22.500 brother 1.00

01:12:22.820 I'll tell you that

01:12:23.440 out the gate

01:12:24.080 but I did see dudes

01:12:25.240 eat it

01:12:25.780 would you

01:12:26.260 yeah

01:12:26.520 like with a spoon

01:12:27.500 like wet cat food

01:12:28.980 eat it

01:12:29.460 why

01:12:29.680 I think it was a flex

01:12:31.800 no

01:12:32.740 it was a flex

01:12:33.480 yeah

01:12:33.780 is there one type

01:12:35.240 that's the good type

01:12:36.240 take me through

01:12:36.780 some of that

01:12:37.300 no

01:12:38.580 it's all

01:12:39.580 as far as like

01:12:40.520 cat food to eat

01:12:41.760 yeah

01:12:42.060 it gets a little snack

01:12:43.000 no I don't want to try

01:12:44.160 none of it

01:12:44.720 because I knew

01:12:45.600 what was in that

01:12:46.460 and I knew

01:12:47.900 like what was in

01:12:48.720 like proteins

01:12:49.780 and like all that

01:12:50.860 that goes into

01:12:51.560 those foods

01:12:52.840 and I understood

01:12:54.780 all the kill steps

01:12:55.700 and stuff were there

01:12:56.580 but I also know

01:12:57.340 that my digestive tract

01:12:58.660 is far different

01:12:59.420 from felines

01:13:00.580 or canines

01:13:01.620 and we ain't made to eat

01:13:03.740 what they're made to eat

01:13:04.760 so

01:13:05.500 so yeah

01:13:07.400 I didn't really

01:13:08.200 I did not partake

01:13:09.440 but

01:13:09.960 yeah you'd see a dude

01:13:11.400 like take a big spoonful

01:13:12.800 of cat food

01:13:13.700 and then like drive off

01:13:14.920 in his Lamborghini

01:13:15.780 because you know

01:13:16.680 it was usually like

01:13:17.380 a high level person

01:13:18.660 yes

01:13:19.340 like

01:13:19.660 it's a power move

01:13:20.280 it was a power move

01:13:21.360 yeah

01:13:21.660 it was impressive though 0.98

01:13:23.280 I was like damn 0.98

01:13:24.200 dude I was just talking 0.99

01:13:25.000 to my friend

01:13:25.340 this morning at breakfast

01:13:26.020 about things

01:13:26.580 that the powerful do

01:13:27.660 and why they operate

01:13:29.300 certain ways

01:13:30.020 because it's like

01:13:30.720 yeah what can I do

01:13:31.600 how weird or could this get

01:13:32.880 if you have everything

01:13:33.900 if the basic

01:13:35.320 like

01:13:36.300 I need to make money

01:13:38.180 to survive

01:13:38.660 I need to feed my family

01:13:39.820 or once you have like

01:13:40.980 I have seven wives

01:13:42.140 living in different cities

01:13:42.940 I'm gonna live in a jet

01:13:44.160 or I live in a

01:13:44.780 some people might be living

01:13:46.200 on other planets

01:13:46.960 now they don't even know

01:13:47.860 they've got their own islands

01:13:48.760 yes

01:13:49.260 yeah at this point

01:13:50.860 yes I'm having cat food

01:13:52.100 but I want the greatest

01:13:52.900 cat food ever

01:13:53.480 I want cat food

01:13:54.320 that cats can't even

01:13:55.560 afford to eat

01:13:56.240 yeah

01:13:56.600 and sometimes they pretend

01:13:58.320 like they could discern

01:13:59.660 between

01:14:00.280 be like

01:14:00.600 hmm

01:14:00.960 they're not gonna like this

01:14:02.220 it's like

01:14:02.600 you're not a cat

01:14:04.480 yeah

01:14:04.860 like how do you

01:14:06.260 or he eats it

01:14:07.260 he's eating

01:14:07.660 that's for cats

01:14:08.500 he's like saying like

01:14:09.420 he's basically stating

01:14:10.560 he's eating so much

01:14:11.600 of this food

01:14:12.180 he can now discern

01:14:13.420 between what

01:14:14.680 will work

01:14:15.640 and what will not

01:14:16.400 he has it all

01:14:16.960 that's good

01:14:17.900 yeah this is

01:14:18.640 oh that's good huh

01:14:19.440 oh that's good

01:14:20.060 they're gonna love this

01:14:21.280 yeah

01:14:21.680 the Himalayan cats

01:14:23.060 are gonna love this

01:14:23.820 a tilapia aftertaste

01:14:25.260 what uh

01:14:26.100 what was a product

01:14:26.860 that you guys made

01:14:27.500 while you were there

01:14:27.940 do you remember one product

01:14:28.540 that kind of came through

01:14:29.260 yeah it's called

01:14:29.700 Dentistix Fresh

01:14:31.040 it's still on the market

01:14:32.120 I see it out there

01:14:33.100 and it's for animals

01:14:33.700 yeah it's for dogs

01:14:34.900 it's a

01:14:35.400 it's a

01:14:36.160 basically a

01:14:37.620 teeth cleaning

01:14:38.860 dental chew

01:14:40.000 oh it's pretty cool

01:14:40.520 very digestible

01:14:41.360 there it is

01:14:42.420 that's my baby

01:14:43.020 right there

01:14:43.580 oh yeah

01:14:44.220 I've seen that before

01:14:45.140 yeah

01:14:45.600 um

01:14:46.580 that was

01:14:47.260 one of my products

01:14:48.920 that I launched

01:14:49.900 from start to finish

01:14:51.040 and um

01:14:52.260 yeah

01:14:53.200 it's cool

01:14:53.900 it's cool

01:14:54.340 it's cool to see it

01:14:55.180 kind of out there

01:14:55.820 still

01:14:56.180 still doing its thing

01:14:57.480 yeah

01:14:57.820 at the end of the show

01:14:58.720 you hum hum some of those

01:14:59.880 out in the audience

01:15:00.480 yeah

01:15:01.000 I probably need to start

01:15:02.160 chucking them out there 0.93

01:15:03.040 like take a bite out 0.97

01:15:04.360 I'll catch one

01:15:05.620 I'll catch one 0.99

01:15:07.120 in my mouth

01:15:07.560 no I would eat one of those

01:15:08.480 if I had to

01:15:09.220 but I wouldn't eat

01:15:09.840 none of that cat food

01:15:10.800 that's fair

01:15:11.860 and look I love to hear that

01:15:12.940 that's mostly like

01:15:13.540 flour

01:15:14.120 that's mostly wheat flour

01:15:15.540 and it got

01:15:16.660 you know

01:15:17.260 it ain't got the same

01:15:18.160 ingredients as cats

01:15:19.120 did you ever pitch a product

01:15:20.500 that they didn't like

01:15:21.240 are you allowed to pitch products

01:15:22.440 you did

01:15:22.800 yeah I did

01:15:23.240 I pitched a lot of products

01:15:24.580 um

01:15:25.080 but

01:15:25.680 at the end of the day

01:15:27.340 I was the geeky scientist

01:15:28.620 and they're like

01:15:29.180 you need to make what

01:15:30.060 you need to make

01:15:31.880 and

01:15:32.100 they have a

01:15:33.420 a much

01:15:34.040 I think a greater understanding

01:15:35.840 of what the market requires

01:15:37.300 than some of us geeky scientists do

01:15:39.080 I had my own lab

01:15:39.960 and I would

01:15:40.360 I would come up with these new things

01:15:42.480 and new designs

01:15:43.220 and pitch them

01:15:43.840 in my free time

01:15:45.580 and

01:15:45.780 there was a lot of creativity to it

01:15:48.520 and um

01:15:49.100 and you know

01:15:50.580 that was

01:15:50.980 you know

01:15:51.320 there's actually a lot more creativity

01:15:52.820 to analysis than you think

01:15:55.000 and there's a lot more analysis

01:15:56.220 to creativity

01:15:57.360 than you think

01:15:58.100 I think the two can

01:15:59.180 work very well together

01:16:01.140 and

01:16:01.480 like

01:16:02.060 back to what I was saying

01:16:03.660 but like

01:16:04.080 when my dad died

01:16:04.900 I was able to

01:16:05.880 kind of apply

01:16:06.840 science

01:16:07.900 and songwriting

01:16:09.280 um

01:16:10.240 because

01:16:10.960 I was like

01:16:12.260 so devastated

01:16:13.320 but

01:16:14.200 like

01:16:15.220 I was kind of able

01:16:16.260 to

01:16:16.600 metaphorically

01:16:17.720 put a lab coat on

01:16:18.820 and go into

01:16:20.360 researcher mode

01:16:21.500 and um

01:16:22.400 and that's

01:16:23.140 kind of where

01:16:23.600 the songs came from

01:16:24.640 I just started

01:16:25.320 like looking at

01:16:27.260 my pain

01:16:28.040 from

01:16:28.840 another perspective

01:16:31.320 like trying to

01:16:32.080 look at it

01:16:32.720 from the outside in

01:16:33.700 like as a

01:16:34.680 an observer

01:16:35.720 and then

01:16:37.260 just kind of

01:16:38.440 documenting

01:16:39.200 my findings

01:16:40.440 as I went

01:16:41.120 like I spent

01:16:41.740 four years

01:16:42.380 making this record

01:16:43.380 Son of Dad

01:16:44.120 and

01:16:44.360 like two or three

01:16:45.740 of those years

01:16:46.360 were research years

01:16:47.400 just me documenting

01:16:48.540 everything I was going through

01:16:49.980 wow

01:16:50.320 and um

01:16:50.840 and keeping

01:16:51.980 you know

01:16:52.720 meticulous records

01:16:53.760 like scientists do

01:16:54.980 but

01:16:55.320 I was channeling that

01:16:57.160 into songs

01:16:57.900 instead of like

01:16:58.760 you know

01:16:59.140 a pet food product

01:17:00.020 but I was still using

01:17:01.060 the same methodology

01:17:02.260 like

01:17:02.820 because I

01:17:03.200 I had to be true to it

01:17:04.920 because that's the thing

01:17:06.620 about science

01:17:07.240 it's just a truth

01:17:08.000 detection tool

01:17:08.800 it's not an ideology

01:17:09.740 or a paradigm

01:17:10.580 it's just

01:17:11.840 it's just an

01:17:13.060 effective tool

01:17:13.980 if it's used correctly

01:17:15.160 it's like a metal detector

01:17:16.140 yes exactly

01:17:17.020 or a chainsaw

01:17:18.180 even if you use it

01:17:19.180 great it can be great

01:17:20.240 but if you use it right

01:17:21.400 it can be great

01:17:21.960 if you use it wrong

01:17:22.800 it might cut your 1.00

01:17:23.680 damn hand off 1.00

01:17:24.380 like science created 1.00

01:17:25.340 the atomic bomb

01:17:26.300 it's also created

01:17:27.960 cures for

01:17:29.560 incurable diseases

01:17:31.580 that we thought

01:17:32.440 um

01:17:32.900 it's a beautiful thing

01:17:34.140 but at the end of the day

01:17:35.080 it's just a tool

01:17:35.940 for detecting truth

01:17:37.580 and I used it

01:17:38.620 like that

01:17:39.240 so

01:17:39.660 I would have this

01:17:41.260 question

01:17:42.000 and

01:17:43.080 I'd have my observations

01:17:44.340 and then I'd create

01:17:45.320 a hypothesis

01:17:46.200 as you would say

01:17:47.380 which would basically

01:17:48.720 be a song

01:17:49.500 a song title

01:17:50.420 an idea

01:17:51.000 and I would go out

01:17:51.840 and test it in the world

01:17:52.840 I'd play in front of

01:17:53.720 seven people here

01:17:54.720 ten people there

01:17:56.240 seven people here

01:17:57.320 seven people there

01:17:58.320 and I would get

01:17:58.860 instant data

01:18:00.380 feedback

01:18:01.160 feedback

01:18:01.660 which is data

01:18:02.480 in the scientific field

01:18:04.040 we can spend

01:18:05.080 six months

01:18:05.800 before we

01:18:06.580 it can be six months

01:18:07.800 before you get

01:18:08.340 your first result

01:18:09.360 from an experiment

01:18:11.020 so I was getting

01:18:11.700 instant results

01:18:12.520 so I love that part

01:18:13.740 of it

01:18:14.100 you know

01:18:15.260 yeah

01:18:15.800 I think that instant feedback

01:18:16.920 is

01:18:17.260 I mean

01:18:18.000 yeah

01:18:18.380 it helps you know

01:18:18.780 what's going on

01:18:19.240 it's even like

01:18:19.640 working with jokes

01:18:20.360 you know

01:18:20.800 yeah

01:18:21.140 absolutely

01:18:21.700 it's pretty fascinating

01:18:22.500 how like

01:18:23.020 the parts of your life

01:18:24.700 like to be a scientist

01:18:25.660 to have like a methodology

01:18:27.000 to then use it

01:18:28.440 to channel your emotions

01:18:30.000 and look at

01:18:31.020 you look at your emotions

01:18:32.020 look at your life

01:18:32.840 look at the path of things

01:18:34.260 you know

01:18:34.920 to put like

01:18:35.580 to almost like

01:18:37.740 take a template

01:18:38.420 of

01:18:39.540 science

01:18:40.780 and apply it to

01:18:42.020 something as emotional

01:18:43.700 as music

01:18:44.360 yeah

01:18:44.900 I kind of joke around

01:18:46.000 calling myself

01:18:46.980 a song scientist

01:18:48.060 but that's essentially

01:18:49.100 what it is

01:18:50.000 I mean

01:18:50.320 because

01:18:51.240 you know

01:18:51.980 user bias

01:18:52.780 is like

01:18:53.680 it can

01:18:54.340 so easily

01:18:55.700 contaminate

01:18:56.620 your results

01:18:57.580 and contaminate

01:18:58.860 your entire

01:18:59.440 experiment

01:19:00.120 and experience

01:19:01.600 and

01:19:02.840 so I really

01:19:03.980 was trying

01:19:04.580 to use

01:19:05.800 user bias

01:19:06.700 because I was

01:19:07.300 trying to

01:19:07.700 authenticate

01:19:08.200 something in

01:19:08.800 one of my own

01:19:09.400 emotions

01:19:09.800 and experiences

01:19:10.640 but also

01:19:11.340 take user bias

01:19:12.820 out of it

01:19:13.560 because

01:19:14.340 at the end of the day

01:19:15.660 you gotta find

01:19:16.380 the truth

01:19:16.860 and just because

01:19:18.040 you don't like

01:19:19.080 the results

01:19:19.600 doesn't mean

01:19:20.160 they're not true

01:19:20.880 and that's where

01:19:21.580 user bias

01:19:22.420 like gets in the way

01:19:24.060 because you want

01:19:24.960 the results

01:19:25.400 to be different

01:19:26.100 maybe you really

01:19:27.420 like this song

01:19:28.300 but you're not

01:19:29.040 getting the results

01:19:29.840 that you thought

01:19:30.700 it was gonna get

01:19:31.420 so you start

01:19:32.100 you start adjusting

01:19:33.400 your formula

01:19:34.480 and then before

01:19:35.480 you know it

01:19:36.040 you got conclusive

01:19:36.940 results

01:19:37.460 either

01:19:37.780 conclusively

01:19:39.360 this is not

01:19:40.180 the truth

01:19:40.700 or conclusively

01:19:41.780 this is the truth

01:19:42.820 and then you run

01:19:44.600 with the truth

01:19:45.220 whether it's

01:19:46.540 good for you

01:19:47.320 or bad for you

01:19:48.280 and that's

01:19:49.000 yeah I was just

01:19:50.040 looking at this

01:19:50.440 right here

01:19:50.660 it says

01:19:50.940 user bias

01:19:51.840 refers to

01:19:52.880 cognitive tendencies

01:19:53.840 that distort

01:19:54.620 how individuals

01:19:55.780 perceive

01:19:56.360 interpret

01:19:57.080 or respond

01:19:58.040 during research

01:19:58.860 what are examples

01:19:59.820 of user bias

01:20:00.520 for example

01:20:01.980 you

01:20:03.680 you think

01:20:04.820 that this is going

01:20:05.960 to work

01:20:06.860 for whatever reason

01:20:07.900 you have a hunch

01:20:08.780 like that this

01:20:10.120 whatever thing

01:20:11.140 is going to work

01:20:12.140 and you've now

01:20:13.320 like

01:20:13.620 attached an emotion

01:20:15.840 to it

01:20:16.940 because

01:20:17.340 you almost need

01:20:18.900 it to work

01:20:19.480 now

01:20:19.760 now it's more

01:20:21.260 about you

01:20:21.920 than it is

01:20:22.440 about the truth

01:20:23.200 like

01:20:24.180 so when you

01:20:24.600 go into

01:20:25.100 like

01:20:25.540 an experiment

01:20:26.160 it doesn't

01:20:27.240 need to work

01:20:27.920 out for you

01:20:28.640 like

01:20:29.100 your feelings

01:20:29.840 have to be

01:20:30.400 completely

01:20:31.060 separate

01:20:32.200 from this

01:20:33.020 if you're doing

01:20:33.480 true research

01:20:34.540 if you're going

01:20:35.100 to be a true

01:20:35.580 researcher

01:20:36.120 using the

01:20:37.320 scientific method

01:20:38.360 the proper way

01:20:39.700 so

01:20:40.580 you know

01:20:41.480 that's

01:20:41.960 I guess

01:20:42.340 when you get

01:20:42.760 into a song

01:20:43.420 especially a song

01:20:44.220 about your dad

01:20:45.140 or a song

01:20:45.720 about loss

01:20:46.580 it's easy

01:20:47.020 to be like

01:20:47.480 well

01:20:47.740 it needs

01:20:48.340 to be like

01:20:48.900 this

01:20:49.280 it needs

01:20:49.680 to say

01:20:50.060 this

01:20:50.500 or it needs

01:20:51.200 to say

01:20:51.560 that

01:20:51.820 because

01:20:52.120 that's

01:20:52.800 what's

01:20:52.920 going to

01:20:53.120 make me

01:20:53.580 feel good

01:20:54.100 but that's

01:20:54.660 may not

01:20:55.660 be the truth

01:20:56.480 yeah I think

01:20:57.460 your songs

01:20:57.840 don't really

01:20:58.300 take me

01:20:58.700 on like

01:20:59.000 a

01:20:59.160 they don't

01:21:00.060 take me

01:21:00.360 on a

01:21:00.580 typical

01:21:01.020 journey

01:21:01.620 of like

01:21:01.980 a beginning

01:21:02.440 middle

01:21:02.760 and end

01:21:03.260 I guess

01:21:03.660 and some

01:21:04.220 of them

01:21:04.340 are different

01:21:04.680 than others

01:21:05.060 of course

01:21:05.420 but yeah

01:21:06.660 I guess

01:21:06.920 sometimes

01:21:07.200 you think

01:21:07.460 of a song

01:21:08.000 especially

01:21:08.600 if it's

01:21:08.840 a country

01:21:09.120 song

01:21:09.400 I think

01:21:09.720 of having

01:21:10.180 like a

01:21:10.460 beginning

01:21:10.780 middle

01:21:11.060 and end

01:21:11.380 almost

01:21:11.560 like a

01:21:11.880 journey

01:21:12.280 whereas

01:21:13.120 yours

01:21:13.600 sometimes

01:21:13.880 sort of

01:21:14.400 like

01:21:14.580 take me

01:21:15.140 on

01:21:15.500 a ride

01:21:18.080 down

01:21:18.560 a ride

01:21:19.760 past

01:21:20.180 something

01:21:20.660 or through

01:21:21.520 something

01:21:21.980 yeah

01:21:22.560 and it's

01:21:23.040 not as

01:21:23.500 much

01:21:23.820 of like

01:21:24.280 you're

01:21:25.700 giving me

01:21:26.120 this story

01:21:27.080 as much

01:21:28.180 as you

01:21:28.660 are

01:21:28.880 providing

01:21:30.000 some

01:21:30.300 things

01:21:30.740 and I'm

01:21:32.100 the story

01:21:32.640 I'm remembering

01:21:33.340 the story

01:21:33.960 of mine

01:21:35.280 that pertains

01:21:35.960 that associates

01:21:36.740 with it

01:21:37.300 sometimes

01:21:37.560 yeah

01:21:37.800 well that's

01:21:38.480 I feel like

01:21:39.380 my favorite

01:21:39.860 and I'm not

01:21:39.940 trying to

01:21:40.180 like 0.99

01:21:40.540 what the fuck 0.99

01:21:41.580 do I know 0.99

01:21:41.900 but some

01:21:42.680 of that

01:21:42.900 happens

01:21:43.180 with your

01:21:43.420 music

01:21:43.680 that's

01:21:43.920 what I'm

01:21:44.080 saying

01:21:44.300 well that's

01:21:45.060 if

01:21:45.920 if there's

01:21:46.600 any goal

01:21:47.020 I've ever

01:21:47.380 had as a

01:21:47.840 songwriter

01:21:48.300 is to

01:21:48.800 basically

01:21:49.200 do that

01:21:49.880 because

01:21:50.240 I

01:21:50.560 I remember

01:21:51.520 I heard

01:21:51.920 this song

01:21:52.380 called

01:21:52.620 don't take

01:21:53.140 the girl

01:21:53.660 on a

01:21:54.300 school bus

01:21:54.840 when I was

01:21:55.300 a kid

01:21:55.600 it made

01:21:56.340 a mess

01:21:56.780 out of

01:21:57.100 me

01:21:57.920 and

01:21:58.200 yeah

01:21:58.720 because

01:21:58.880 everything

01:21:59.380 it's like

01:21:59.800 and this

01:22:00.380 is now

01:22:00.680 he's 20

01:22:01.120 years older

01:22:01.600 and then

01:22:01.920 now it's

01:22:02.400 the end

01:22:02.680 of the

01:22:02.860 time

01:22:03.260 but I

01:22:03.540 was able

01:22:03.920 in the

01:22:04.300 weirdest

01:22:04.540 way

01:22:04.880 because

01:22:05.040 my

01:22:05.220 mom

01:22:05.480 and dad

01:22:07.620 divorced

01:22:08.020 when I was

01:22:08.480 really young

01:22:09.060 and she

01:22:09.580 was with

01:22:09.960 some

01:22:10.340 abusive

01:22:11.500 men

01:22:12.040 and

01:22:12.980 and she

01:22:14.040 lived in

01:22:14.480 Tennessee

01:22:14.800 when I

01:22:15.500 was a

01:22:15.820 kid

01:22:16.060 and

01:22:16.420 I was

01:22:17.380 always

01:22:18.300 most of

01:22:18.740 my childhood

01:22:19.180 very worried

01:22:19.880 about her

01:22:20.460 like

01:22:20.840 really

01:22:21.320 very worried

01:22:22.300 about her

01:22:22.660 getting killed 0.57

01:22:23.340 or hurt 0.88

01:22:24.240 really badly

01:22:24.880 why did she

01:22:25.440 like abusive

01:22:25.960 men do you

01:22:26.440 think

01:22:26.780 I think

01:22:29.000 probably

01:22:29.840 a lot

01:22:31.760 her childhood

01:22:32.440 was very

01:22:32.920 very hard

01:22:33.500 oh so maybe

01:22:34.080 something happened

01:22:34.600 and then she

01:22:34.980 was related

01:22:35.420 to it

01:22:35.820 oh she's a 0.99

01:22:36.780 beautiful lady 0.78

01:22:37.260 what's her name

01:22:37.740 Kathy

01:22:38.400 Kathy Lynn

01:22:39.340 Kathy Lynn

01:22:40.480 there she is

01:22:41.320 yeah

01:22:41.680 and

01:22:42.240 you know

01:22:43.100 she's just a 0.79

01:22:43.760 baby

01:22:44.060 having a baby

01:22:44.880 and

01:22:45.520 you know

01:22:46.220 trying to

01:22:46.780 and my dad

01:22:47.540 was an

01:22:48.000 you know

01:22:48.520 a great

01:22:49.260 a great man

01:22:51.160 but they were

01:22:51.680 also teenagers

01:22:52.500 and they were

01:22:53.140 kind of like

01:22:53.560 forced to

01:22:54.200 wed

01:22:54.700 because of

01:22:55.340 religion

01:22:55.760 you know

01:22:56.480 like she was

01:22:57.700 six months pregnant

01:22:58.440 when they got

01:22:59.020 married with me

01:22:59.680 there's no way

01:23:00.420 they were

01:23:00.780 gonna have a

01:23:01.520 child out of

01:23:02.180 wedlock

01:23:02.700 right that was

01:23:03.580 not gonna

01:23:04.780 not cool

01:23:05.440 and then they

01:23:05.960 ended up having

01:23:06.380 two more kids

01:23:07.120 and before they

01:23:07.640 know it

01:23:07.920 they're 22

01:23:08.700 years old

01:23:09.300 and they got

01:23:09.740 three kids

01:23:10.420 and it's that

01:23:10.840 crazy

01:23:11.280 and so 0.99

01:23:12.800 you know

01:23:13.120 I have to

01:23:13.740 you know

01:23:14.620 give her a lot

01:23:15.420 of you know

01:23:16.460 a lot of grace

01:23:17.820 because of

01:23:18.440 you know

01:23:19.260 her life was

01:23:19.980 very hard

01:23:20.540 and she was

01:23:20.980 very young

01:23:21.760 and I don't

01:23:22.880 understand a lot

01:23:23.700 of the

01:23:24.040 you know

01:23:24.800 some of those

01:23:25.360 choices

01:23:25.760 she made

01:23:26.700 but I remember

01:23:27.320 you know

01:23:28.400 spending most

01:23:29.040 of my childhood

01:23:29.680 and

01:23:30.260 in fear

01:23:31.460 of her

01:23:32.600 of getting that

01:23:33.280 call that

01:23:33.720 she was

01:23:34.160 she was

01:23:34.820 gone

01:23:35.220 yeah

01:23:35.640 your mother

01:23:36.840 still alive

01:23:37.300 yes she is

01:23:38.340 oh beautiful

01:23:39.020 yeah and

01:23:39.700 she's had a

01:23:41.100 wild year

01:23:41.760 and she's

01:23:43.500 she's very much

01:23:44.720 with us

01:23:45.200 and she's had

01:23:46.440 a wild year

01:23:46.940 yeah she almost

01:23:47.840 got killed this

01:23:48.620 year on an

01:23:49.100 ATV accident

01:23:49.940 it's wild that

01:23:50.540 you brought

01:23:50.840 that picture up

01:23:51.720 but she

01:23:52.640 literally

01:23:53.000 yeah she

01:23:54.260 she had a

01:23:55.160 very much

01:23:56.320 a near death

01:23:56.920 experience

01:23:57.360 she spent

01:23:57.940 two months

01:23:58.500 in the ICU

01:23:59.180 and yeah

01:24:01.360 it was

01:24:01.700 it was

01:24:02.060 it's been a

01:24:02.820 wild year

01:24:03.340 for all of us

01:24:04.060 especially her

01:24:05.000 ATV deaths

01:24:06.200 happen to so

01:24:06.840 many people

01:24:07.360 yeah I don't

01:24:08.100 people don't

01:24:08.440 realize how

01:24:08.900 popular it is

01:24:09.800 I don't want

01:24:10.380 one of them 0.99

01:24:10.820 damn things 0.99

01:24:11.380 anywhere around 0.99

01:24:11.920 I'm not saying

01:24:12.260 we're getting

01:24:12.560 you one this

01:24:12.960 year

01:24:13.120 no please

01:24:13.580 don't

01:24:13.920 I'm just saying

01:24:14.140 I'll sell it

01:24:15.460 on eBay

01:24:15.860 yeah we can

01:24:18.620 yeah yeah

01:24:19.280 skip go

01:24:20.000 with that one

01:24:20.600 you know

01:24:21.020 that one can

01:24:21.840 go on to the

01:24:22.240 next

01:24:22.360 in the United

01:24:22.960 States

01:24:23.280 ATV related

01:24:24.060 deaths typically

01:24:24.480 range from

01:24:24.860 300 to 900

01:24:25.580 annually

01:24:26.180 but yeah

01:24:28.940 it's

01:24:29.360 I don't know

01:24:30.000 why we're even

01:24:30.500 talking about this

01:24:31.000 and I'm sorry

01:24:31.500 but I'm glad

01:24:32.340 to know that

01:24:32.840 she's doing well

01:24:33.600 when you guys

01:24:34.640 were young

01:24:35.040 what kind of

01:24:35.400 stuff was she

01:24:35.720 struggling with

01:24:36.360 stuff or

01:24:36.880 yeah yeah

01:24:38.520 she had a lot

01:24:39.340 of struggles

01:24:40.360 and

01:24:40.820 that young age

01:24:41.580 is so tough

01:24:42.100 can you imagine

01:24:42.840 that when your

01:24:43.660 mother can you

01:24:44.320 imagine like

01:24:45.460 when I was 22

01:24:46.140 I was just

01:24:46.720 concerned if I

01:24:47.520 had enough

01:24:48.060 you know time

01:24:49.480 it might a day 0.99

01:24:50.140 to jerk off 0.99

01:24:50.880 without somebody 1.00

01:24:51.380 bothering me

01:24:52.240 and here there

01:24:53.740 were people

01:24:54.200 feeding children

01:24:55.800 I mean she

01:24:57.500 had no business

01:24:58.340 having children

01:24:59.320 but yeah

01:25:00.520 they had these

01:25:01.240 you know

01:25:01.700 they very much

01:25:02.500 had these

01:25:02.940 children

01:25:03.280 and she was

01:25:04.780 going through

01:25:05.840 some really

01:25:06.540 tough stuff

01:25:07.260 and you know

01:25:09.040 like my dad

01:25:09.600 got custody

01:25:10.300 of us

01:25:10.800 which was kind

01:25:11.440 of rare

01:25:12.280 at the time

01:25:13.640 but I remember

01:25:14.660 hearing that song

01:25:15.720 and I was able

01:25:17.600 to put her

01:25:18.380 in that song

01:25:19.240 Yanni's daddy

01:25:20.400 it was like

01:25:20.960 and it didn't

01:25:21.380 make no sense

01:25:22.340 that you know

01:25:23.280 like why is my

01:25:23.980 mom in this song

01:25:25.340 she shouldn't be

01:25:26.060 like it doesn't

01:25:26.660 follow the storyline

01:25:27.680 oh but your

01:25:28.120 head put her

01:25:28.640 in there 0.97

01:25:28.780 but my head

01:25:29.360 put her in there 0.97

01:25:30.360 and I was able

01:25:30.860 to copy and paste

01:25:31.960 all of my emotions

01:25:33.220 into that song

01:25:34.360 and three and a half

01:25:35.680 minutes later

01:25:36.320 I was a wreck

01:25:37.960 like not because

01:25:39.960 of the song

01:25:40.900 but because of

01:25:41.640 my mom

01:25:42.380 being in the song

01:25:43.780 right

01:25:44.040 and I was like

01:25:45.240 okay that's

01:25:46.520 like to me

01:25:47.060 that's what

01:25:47.740 the wizardry

01:25:49.380 of songwriting

01:25:50.060 is

01:25:50.740 like Craig

01:25:51.260 Martin

01:25:51.600 and Larry

01:25:52.360 Johnson

01:25:52.800 wrote that

01:25:53.380 song

01:25:53.760 not knowing

01:25:55.200 that some

01:25:55.600 southern Indiana

01:25:56.280 boy was gonna

01:25:57.060 be like

01:25:58.000 you know

01:25:58.800 be balling

01:25:59.420 on a school

01:25:59.860 bus

01:26:00.260 with around

01:26:00.820 a bunch

01:26:01.100 of FFA

01:26:01.700 kids

01:26:02.200 wasn't a good

01:26:02.860 look

01:26:03.180 and um

01:26:04.100 yeah

01:26:04.420 and so

01:26:05.420 yeah I mean

01:26:06.540 that's really

01:26:07.260 what I

01:26:08.340 I mean

01:26:08.760 I would say

01:26:09.500 that was the

01:26:10.160 moment that I

01:26:10.900 really got

01:26:11.560 bitten by

01:26:12.940 or like

01:26:13.340 song bit

01:26:14.120 so to speak

01:26:14.920 because

01:26:15.840 I realized

01:26:17.600 that music

01:26:18.160 was more

01:26:19.040 than just

01:26:19.560 beats

01:26:20.040 and sounds

01:26:20.720 and making

01:26:21.220 words rhyme

01:26:22.100 it was literally

01:26:23.160 taking a

01:26:23.940 like

01:26:24.400 like taking

01:26:25.780 someone's life

01:26:26.660 and

01:26:27.340 making it

01:26:28.680 part of a

01:26:29.240 piece of art

01:26:29.860 and uh

01:26:30.720 wow

01:26:32.060 and that's

01:26:33.060 that's really

01:26:34.120 what a great

01:26:34.960 song does

01:26:35.820 and I think

01:26:36.880 the real great

01:26:38.440 songs out there

01:26:39.520 um

01:26:40.100 and

01:26:40.320 me as a

01:26:41.720 songwriter

01:26:42.180 the only thing

01:26:42.780 I've tried

01:26:43.420 to pay forward

01:26:44.320 was that

01:26:45.220 so when

01:26:45.780 so when you

01:26:45.940 said that

01:26:46.480 like I

01:26:46.840 was

01:26:46.980 you're able

01:26:48.080 to put

01:26:48.740 yourself

01:26:49.280 in those

01:26:49.860 songs

01:26:50.280 that's

01:26:50.640 really all

01:26:51.160 I've ever

01:26:51.560 hoped to

01:26:52.020 achieve

01:26:52.540 not so

01:26:53.240 much to

01:26:53.700 put

01:26:54.960 just put

01:26:55.640 myself

01:26:56.040 in those

01:26:56.560 songs

01:26:56.860 I want

01:26:57.260 to put

01:26:57.560 other people

01:26:58.160 in those

01:26:58.580 songs

01:26:58.860 and let

01:26:59.200 them be

01:26:59.800 the star

01:27:00.840 of it

01:27:01.240 not me

01:27:02.160 got it

01:27:02.900 and I

01:27:03.580 feel like

01:27:03.900 that's

01:27:04.280 if it's

01:27:05.540 if it's

01:27:06.000 anything

01:27:06.240 that's

01:27:07.260 what

01:27:07.940 how people

01:27:08.700 respond to

01:27:09.780 the music

01:27:10.240 it's about

01:27:10.940 them

01:27:11.400 it's

01:27:12.120 it has

01:27:12.860 nothing to

01:27:13.380 do with

01:27:13.740 me up

01:27:14.160 there

01:27:14.300 I'm just

01:27:14.640 a vessel

01:27:16.120 yeah

01:27:16.500 no I

01:27:17.960 think

01:27:18.160 and I

01:27:18.640 think

01:27:18.800 there's a

01:27:19.120 lot of

01:27:19.460 guys

01:27:19.780 that are

01:27:20.020 trying to

01:27:20.400 feel

01:27:20.840 I think

01:27:21.680 especially

01:27:22.020 for a lot

01:27:22.380 of young

01:27:22.740 men

01:27:23.040 it's been

01:27:23.340 like

01:27:23.560 there's a

01:27:24.760 lot of

01:27:24.980 feeling

01:27:25.500 and processing

01:27:26.340 that we've

01:27:27.320 missed

01:27:27.680 somehow

01:27:28.100 or we

01:27:28.960 haven't

01:27:29.320 found a

01:27:29.800 way to

01:27:30.180 do it

01:27:30.760 I think

01:27:31.680 it's the

01:27:32.600 same thing

01:27:33.020 that I

01:27:33.300 noticed

01:27:33.640 with some

01:27:34.180 of Red

01:27:34.840 Clay

01:27:35.040 Stray's

01:27:35.460 music

01:27:35.760 and it's

01:27:36.340 different

01:27:36.580 you guys

01:27:36.880 this stuff

01:27:37.180 is totally

01:27:37.580 different

01:27:37.960 but if you

01:27:38.740 go to their

01:27:39.220 show

01:27:39.640 they're

01:27:40.280 great

01:27:40.920 their show

01:27:41.820 it's a lot

01:27:42.400 of men

01:27:43.080 probably

01:27:44.040 kind of

01:27:44.680 adult men

01:27:45.480 who are

01:27:46.260 trying to

01:27:47.920 find ways

01:27:48.440 to process

01:27:48.960 stuff

01:27:49.560 that's what

01:27:50.520 I believe

01:27:50.980 anyway

01:27:51.400 and it's

01:27:53.720 interesting to

01:27:54.720 see that

01:27:55.140 it's interesting

01:27:55.620 to see

01:27:55.960 where do we

01:27:56.880 go to

01:27:57.120 process

01:27:57.480 stuff

01:27:57.860 and how

01:27:58.180 do we

01:27:58.440 do it

01:27:58.900 and yeah

01:28:00.160 I think

01:28:00.380 your music

01:28:00.720 does a lot

01:28:01.200 of that

01:28:01.380 for people

01:28:01.900 yeah

01:28:02.820 and that's

01:28:03.680 why I was

01:28:04.000 saying that

01:28:04.660 yeah

01:28:05.380 it would be

01:28:06.080 hard for you

01:28:06.460 to write

01:28:06.780 for somebody

01:28:07.260 which makes

01:28:07.800 it a little

01:28:08.260 bit tougher

01:28:08.720 to have a

01:28:09.100 career in

01:28:09.600 some ways

01:28:10.200 because you

01:28:11.020 don't have

01:28:11.360 like

01:28:11.660 you're you

01:28:14.360 and you

01:28:16.020 can write

01:28:16.380 some songs

01:28:16.980 but man

01:28:18.400 your stuff

01:28:19.440 is so

01:28:19.840 personal

01:28:20.600 it feels

01:28:21.180 like

01:28:21.560 to your

01:28:22.400 brain

01:28:22.960 and perspective

01:28:24.220 and attitude

01:28:24.720 that

01:28:25.220 it'd be hard

01:28:26.120 for a regular

01:28:26.540 foot to fit

01:28:27.160 into it

01:28:27.660 you know

01:28:27.980 yeah

01:28:28.660 that was

01:28:29.100 the challenge

01:28:30.280 you know

01:28:31.060 like there's

01:28:31.520 you know

01:28:32.700 this sounds

01:28:33.360 so much

01:28:33.860 like you

01:28:34.540 that was

01:28:35.340 right

01:28:35.800 and you know

01:28:36.760 but at the same

01:28:37.480 hurts at the

01:28:38.020 time

01:28:38.240 because you're

01:28:38.420 like well 1.00

01:28:38.700 fuck 1.00

01:28:39.020 I'm just 1.00

01:28:39.300 trying to do

01:28:39.880 this

01:28:40.060 but then

01:28:40.820 in the end

01:28:41.400 it's like

01:28:41.900 oh well

01:28:42.780 I'm the

01:28:43.240 I'm the

01:28:44.460 instrument

01:28:44.880 yeah

01:28:45.540 and that just

01:28:46.840 takes you

01:28:47.280 out

01:28:47.460 and then

01:28:48.080 that's a

01:28:48.460 that's a gift

01:28:49.920 that you are

01:28:50.660 because if you

01:28:51.860 had found this

01:28:52.480 other avenue

01:28:53.060 that was

01:28:53.440 for songwriting

01:28:54.160 and I know

01:28:54.580 you've had

01:28:54.820 some success

01:28:55.280 in it

01:28:55.600 but if you

01:28:56.080 found this

01:28:56.700 other avenue

01:28:57.080 that was

01:28:57.400 hugely

01:28:58.000 successful

01:28:58.580 then you

01:28:59.260 may not

01:28:59.620 have continued

01:29:00.080 to nurture

01:29:01.340 or the energy

01:29:02.320 may not have

01:29:02.820 been on the

01:29:03.160 seed

01:29:03.440 that was

01:29:03.820 you

01:29:04.080 you know

01:29:04.420 the sunlight

01:29:04.820 might have

01:29:05.200 not focused

01:29:05.720 on you

01:29:06.080 to keep

01:29:06.880 that ground

01:29:07.240 honestly

01:29:07.540 if my dad

01:29:08.240 was still alive

01:29:09.080 I mean

01:29:09.360 none of this

01:29:09.960 would have

01:29:10.280 happened

01:29:10.600 I mean

01:29:11.760 really

01:29:12.040 you know

01:29:13.400 I'd probably

01:29:13.920 be just

01:29:14.560 writing songs

01:29:15.240 trying to get

01:29:15.920 cuts

01:29:16.300 and probably

01:29:16.840 still failing

01:29:18.400 at it

01:29:18.980 and

01:29:19.300 yeah

01:29:20.000 your dad

01:29:20.280 would be

01:29:20.480 selling merch

01:29:21.040 for you

01:29:21.320 it'd be nice

01:29:21.760 huh

01:29:21.980 yeah

01:29:22.460 he might

01:29:22.860 he would

01:29:23.560 and he would

01:29:23.960 still be there

01:29:24.640 with his

01:29:24.980 giant phone

01:29:25.720 probably

01:29:26.280 recording every

01:29:27.780 bit of it

01:29:28.340 proud as hell

01:29:29.160 man

01:29:30.020 my

01:29:30.280 my

01:29:31.000 I was just

01:29:32.020 thinking about

01:29:32.300 my dad

01:29:32.560 so my dad

01:29:32.880 was very old

01:29:33.420 when I was

01:29:33.780 born

01:29:34.060 and so I

01:29:34.540 remember

01:29:34.960 like

01:29:35.260 I was ashamed

01:29:36.960 of my dad

01:29:37.600 so I had a lot

01:29:38.140 of shame

01:29:38.680 about him

01:29:39.480 you know

01:29:39.940 but I grew up

01:29:40.680 in a lot of

01:29:41.100 fear too

01:29:41.600 in our household

01:29:42.200 like my sister

01:29:42.820 was real sick

01:29:43.500 and so I was

01:29:43.880 always scared

01:29:44.500 that she was

01:29:44.920 going to pass

01:29:45.400 away

01:29:45.700 and then my

01:29:46.500 dad was old

01:29:47.540 so he was

01:29:48.280 in his 70s

01:29:48.900 when I got to

01:29:49.380 know him

01:29:49.700 so I was

01:29:49.980 always afraid

01:29:50.500 he was going

01:29:50.880 to pass away

01:29:51.420 so it was

01:29:52.080 like this

01:29:52.440 constant thing

01:29:53.440 of like

01:29:53.980 you know

01:29:56.120 it just felt

01:29:56.840 like somebody

01:29:57.360 was just

01:29:57.680 going dang

01:29:58.100 dah

01:29:58.540 you know

01:29:59.140 so it made

01:30:00.040 everything

01:30:00.520 kind of dour

01:30:01.360 I think

01:30:02.980 or

01:30:03.300 I don't know

01:30:04.640 it made it

01:30:05.300 like the

01:30:05.680 perspective

01:30:06.320 was dim

01:30:07.320 that's what

01:30:08.100 it was

01:30:08.460 and my brother

01:30:09.260 would mess

01:30:09.620 with me

01:30:09.760 he'd come

01:30:10.060 in the room

01:30:10.320 and he'd be

01:30:10.840 like dude

01:30:11.180 dad's dead

01:30:12.040 and I'm like

01:30:12.860 what

01:30:13.220 he'd be like

01:30:14.240 go in there

01:30:14.700 dude

01:30:14.960 go in there

01:30:15.580 right now

01:30:15.960 and my dad

01:30:16.440 would fall

01:30:16.760 asleep all the

01:30:17.200 time

01:30:17.360 because he

01:30:17.620 was like

01:30:17.900 76 or 77

01:30:19.260 and those

01:30:20.460 people like

01:30:20.780 to sleep

01:30:21.160 a decent

01:30:21.480 amount

01:30:21.720 during the

01:30:22.040 day

01:30:22.340 and

01:30:23.500 I don't

01:30:24.280 know if

01:30:24.400 he'd be

01:30:24.700 asleep

01:30:24.980 or he'd be

01:30:25.460 laying there

01:30:25.880 with his eyes

01:30:26.360 closed

01:30:26.620 a lot of

01:30:27.780 old people 0.85

01:30:28.240 are like

01:30:28.480 I'm awake

01:30:29.020 I'm at work

01:30:29.700 I'm married

01:30:31.900 they're not

01:30:33.200 forgetting

01:30:33.660 the things

01:30:34.060 that are

01:30:34.220 important

01:30:34.620 but I would

01:30:36.700 go up

01:30:37.300 and I would

01:30:38.140 have to go

01:30:38.580 and he would

01:30:39.220 be alive

01:30:40.060 and I would

01:30:41.080 be like 1.00

01:30:41.380 fuck you 1.00

01:30:42.060 you're full 1.00

01:30:42.400 of shit 1.00

01:30:42.740 so then 1.00

01:30:43.600 it got to

01:30:44.060 this weird

01:30:44.600 part where

01:30:45.320 my brother

01:30:45.840 would come

01:30:46.100 in the room

01:30:46.320 and he'd be

01:30:46.480 like dude

01:30:46.740 dad's dead

01:30:47.340 and I'm like

01:30:48.740 dude

01:30:48.980 he better be 1.00

01:30:50.660 dead when I 1.00

01:30:51.200 go in there

01:30:51.740 or I'm 0.54

01:30:53.540 gonna beat 1.00

01:30:54.120 your ass 1.00

01:30:54.800 so it 1.00

01:30:56.260 became

01:30:56.640 and it

01:30:57.160 flipped

01:30:57.640 this whole

01:30:58.120 perspective

01:30:58.680 of like

01:30:59.040 what was

01:30:59.440 normal

01:30:59.820 in the

01:31:00.080 world

01:31:00.300 so my

01:31:00.920 friends

01:31:01.200 would be

01:31:01.360 like dude

01:31:01.760 what do

01:31:02.020 you mean

01:31:02.260 he better 1.00

01:31:02.660 be dead 1.00

01:31:03.120 fight your 1.00

01:31:04.380 brother

01:31:04.800 you know

01:31:05.460 but no

01:31:05.720 he does

01:31:06.040 this all

01:31:06.300 the time

01:31:06.640 dude

01:31:06.920 he's not

01:31:07.380 freaking

01:31:07.640 dead 0.98

01:31:08.000 you were

01:31:08.560 like

01:31:08.860 I don't

01:31:10.000 know

01:31:10.160 you were

01:31:10.540 combating

01:31:11.160 the dark

01:31:11.620 arts

01:31:11.960 with other

01:31:12.560 dark

01:31:12.880 arts

01:31:13.320 yeah

01:31:13.640 or my

01:31:13.920 mom

01:31:14.100 would be

01:31:14.240 like go

01:31:14.440 spend

01:31:14.580 time

01:31:14.740 with your

01:31:14.940 dad

01:31:15.120 because

01:31:15.260 he's

01:31:15.360 probably

01:31:15.520 gonna 0.99

01:31:15.660 die 0.99

01:31:15.920 soon 0.87

01:31:16.180 and he'd

01:31:16.360 like all

01:31:16.780 right

01:31:17.140 you know 1.00

01:31:17.680 and shit 0.96

01:31:18.580 like that 0.99

01:31:19.020 but she was 0.91

01:31:19.420 just doing

01:31:19.740 this to get

01:31:20.140 us out

01:31:20.420 of the room

01:31:20.720 so she could

01:31:21.100 tidy up

01:31:21.500 or something

01:31:21.700 you know

01:31:21.840 some trick

01:31:22.360 but it was

01:31:23.400 just weird 0.99

01:31:23.940 shit 0.97

01:31:24.380 you know 1.00

01:31:24.840 and so

01:31:25.340 and it was

01:31:26.180 true too

01:31:26.780 he probably

01:31:27.100 was gonna

01:31:27.440 die soon

01:31:27.780 so I was

01:31:28.000 like well

01:31:28.460 get in there

01:31:28.980 and spend

01:31:29.260 some time

01:31:29.700 with him

01:31:29.900 or draw

01:31:30.180 a picture

01:31:30.540 of him

01:31:30.980 we probably

01:31:31.540 have like

01:31:31.840 70 pictures

01:31:32.560 of him

01:31:32.740 we drew

01:31:32.940 of crayons

01:31:33.620 but if she'd

01:31:34.700 like go in

01:31:35.080 there and draw

01:31:35.420 a picture

01:31:35.760 of him

01:31:36.060 you know

01:31:36.220 you're gonna

01:31:36.520 want it

01:31:37.140 you know

01:31:37.480 and it's

01:31:37.740 horrible

01:31:38.140 pictures

01:31:38.600 you know

01:31:39.080 and sometimes

01:31:39.920 we'd draw him

01:31:40.480 like as a 0.93

01:31:40.840 black guy

01:31:41.380 just like 0.93

01:31:41.760 you know

01:31:42.600 just like

01:31:42.920 cause it would

01:31:43.240 seem more

01:31:43.600 exciting

01:31:43.960 or whatever

01:31:44.360 but

01:31:44.700 were you

01:31:45.880 quiet

01:31:46.780 as a kid

01:31:47.500 no

01:31:48.420 I don't

01:31:48.800 think that I

01:31:49.320 was

01:31:49.760 I think I

01:31:50.260 was like

01:31:50.580 kind of

01:31:50.880 curious

01:31:51.520 and I

01:31:53.460 like to

01:31:53.860 make

01:31:54.200 excitement

01:31:54.800 somehow

01:31:55.420 like I

01:31:56.700 like to

01:31:57.020 create

01:31:57.320 ambiance

01:31:57.860 for things

01:31:58.660 but I

01:32:02.180 think I

01:32:02.460 was probably

01:32:02.900 I don't

01:32:03.240 know

01:32:03.320 my mom

01:32:03.680 says she

01:32:04.060 didn't

01:32:04.260 tend to

01:32:04.560 me

01:32:04.640 that much

01:32:05.000 because

01:32:05.400 it seemed

01:32:06.200 like I

01:32:06.480 was doing

01:32:06.780 fine

01:32:07.220 so she

01:32:08.400 didn't

01:32:08.560 think I

01:32:08.800 needed

01:32:08.960 like

01:32:09.120 a lot

01:32:09.340 of

01:32:09.420 attention

01:32:09.760 because

01:32:10.020 she

01:32:10.140 felt

01:32:10.360 like

01:32:10.480 I

01:32:10.560 was

01:32:10.680 doing

01:32:10.900 okay

01:32:11.320 you know

01:32:11.980 cause

01:32:12.860 we've

01:32:13.040 had

01:32:13.160 like

01:32:13.280 some

01:32:13.420 conversations

01:32:13.900 about

01:32:14.220 that

01:32:14.440 stuff

01:32:14.820 but yeah

01:32:16.620 I

01:32:16.740 think

01:32:16.940 that was

01:32:17.360 a big

01:32:17.620 regret

01:32:17.920 I

01:32:18.120 had

01:32:18.320 was

01:32:18.480 that

01:32:18.620 I

01:32:38.400 I

01:32:39.260 was

01:32:39.520 yeah

01:32:40.140 they

01:32:42.220 yeah

01:32:42.440 they

01:32:42.580 were

01:32:42.700 just

01:32:42.880 kind

01:32:43.080 of

01:32:43.240 totally

01:32:43.760 different

01:32:44.280 perspectives

01:32:45.280 to think

01:32:45.840 about

01:32:46.080 like my

01:32:46.380 dad was

01:32:46.720 like a

01:32:47.000 child

01:32:47.360 like honestly

01:32:47.960 like a

01:32:48.340 big brother

01:32:48.900 really

01:32:49.440 a lot

01:32:49.680 of ways

01:32:50.040 because he

01:32:50.620 was only

01:32:50.940 18 years

01:32:51.720 older than

01:32:52.260 me

01:32:52.420 oh yeah

01:32:52.680 that's

01:32:52.840 pretty

01:32:52.960 normal

01:32:53.280 I mean

01:32:53.620 I was

01:32:53.940 like

01:32:54.200 there's

01:32:55.360 actually

01:32:55.600 siblings

01:32:56.840 out there

01:32:57.480 that are

01:32:57.760 like 15

01:32:58.440 years older

01:32:59.680 than their

01:33:00.240 siblings

01:33:00.720 you know

01:33:01.240 yeah

01:33:01.680 so

01:33:03.100 yeah I

01:33:04.680 mean

01:33:04.820 that

01:33:05.060 that had

01:33:05.780 to be

01:33:06.140 that had

01:33:06.640 to be

01:33:06.860 tough

01:33:07.180 I find

01:33:07.800 that

01:33:08.060 people

01:33:08.500 that are

01:33:08.920 that's

01:33:09.740 why I

01:33:10.040 asked

01:33:10.320 you know

01:33:10.560 people

01:33:10.800 that are

01:33:11.320 spending

01:33:11.760 I know

01:33:12.460 I've

01:33:12.780 I spent

01:33:13.240 my whole

01:33:13.740 childhood

01:33:14.100 in a

01:33:14.460 state

01:33:14.760 of

01:33:15.000 fear

01:33:15.680 of

01:33:15.860 loss

01:33:16.260 fear

01:33:16.700 of

01:33:16.840 losing

01:33:17.220 someone

01:33:17.920 really

01:33:18.780 unlosable

01:33:19.520 at that

01:33:20.040 time

01:33:20.400 like

01:33:20.840 what would

01:33:21.140 make

01:33:21.320 that

01:33:21.520 happen

01:33:21.800 it is

01:33:22.040 such a

01:33:22.380 oh

01:33:22.560 because

01:33:22.660 your mom

01:33:22.960 being

01:33:23.080 my mom

01:33:23.680 yeah

01:33:23.940 I was

01:33:24.220 like

01:33:24.420 losing

01:33:25.420 her

01:33:25.680 was not

01:33:26.380 like

01:33:27.720 something

01:33:28.300 I was

01:33:28.740 willing

01:33:29.120 to bear

01:33:30.020 but it

01:33:30.680 seemed

01:33:31.040 like

01:33:31.240 it

01:33:31.360 was

01:33:31.620 inevitable

01:33:32.560 like

01:33:33.300 something

01:33:33.680 that

01:33:33.880 was

01:33:34.080 like

01:33:34.320 just

01:33:34.620 around

01:33:35.120 the

01:33:35.320 corner

01:33:35.580 too

01:33:35.900 so

01:33:36.180 like

01:33:36.420 it

01:33:36.560 made

01:33:36.780 me

01:33:36.940 like

01:33:37.140 retreat

01:33:37.620 as a

01:33:38.100 kid

01:33:38.340 it

01:33:38.460 made

01:33:38.620 me

01:33:38.760 like

01:33:38.980 really

01:33:39.380 quiet

01:33:39.880 and

01:33:40.440 observe

01:33:41.040 it

01:33:41.240 like

01:33:41.520 observe

01:33:41.940 everything

01:33:42.500 you gotta

01:33:42.700 make sure

01:33:42.960 everything's

01:33:43.200 okay

01:33:43.500 yeah

01:33:44.000 and keep

01:33:45.000 my mouth

01:33:45.460 shut

01:33:45.860 because

01:33:46.220 I didn't

01:33:47.240 want to

01:33:47.540 say

01:33:47.860 something

01:33:48.320 or

01:33:48.760 you know

01:33:49.360 that could 0.68

01:33:50.900 cost me

01:33:51.320 her

01:33:51.540 yeah

01:33:52.120 it could

01:33:52.300 cost

01:33:52.600 me

01:33:52.760 her

01:33:53.100 or

01:33:53.580 you know

01:33:55.980 I didn't

01:33:56.720 want to

01:33:57.140 draw

01:33:57.440 attention

01:33:57.860 to it

01:33:59.340 or speak

01:33:59.820 anything

01:34:00.380 into existence

01:34:01.300 about it

01:34:02.160 and

01:34:03.520 and I

01:34:04.060 didn't want

01:34:04.400 anybody to

01:34:05.080 know about

01:34:05.500 it either

01:34:05.880 so it

01:34:06.420 was like

01:34:06.680 my own

01:34:07.000 little

01:34:07.260 you know

01:34:08.460 my own

01:34:08.780 little

01:34:08.940 thing

01:34:09.340 and my

01:34:10.160 dad

01:34:10.440 didn't

01:34:10.740 know

01:34:11.140 about

01:34:11.780 a lot

01:34:12.300 of her

01:34:12.740 what she

01:34:14.360 was going

01:34:15.180 through

01:34:15.520 with her

01:34:16.140 other

01:34:16.920 husbands

01:34:17.400 like

01:34:17.800 that was

01:34:18.380 something

01:34:18.640 that I

01:34:19.020 knew

01:34:19.240 about

01:34:19.580 yeah

01:34:20.200 and

01:34:20.720 that was

01:34:21.680 a tough

01:34:22.740 secret

01:34:23.120 to carry

01:34:23.980 because

01:34:25.300 you know

01:34:27.220 it was

01:34:27.760 you know

01:34:28.440 he would

01:34:28.700 have never

01:34:29.140 he wouldn't

01:34:30.280 have wanted

01:34:30.660 me around

01:34:31.180 that

01:34:31.540 and

01:34:31.940 God knows

01:34:33.100 what he

01:34:33.360 would have

01:34:33.580 done

01:34:33.800 to those

01:34:34.120 dudes

01:34:35.160 and he

01:34:35.760 probably

01:34:35.980 would have

01:34:36.220 killed 1.00

01:34:36.460 them 1.00

01:34:36.620 or

01:34:36.800 something

01:34:37.080 so I

01:34:38.180 was always

01:34:38.780 worried

01:34:39.160 I was always

01:34:39.580 trying to

01:34:39.960 protect my

01:34:40.460 dad

01:34:40.800 from himself

01:34:41.520 and I was

01:34:41.900 trying to

01:34:42.180 protect my

01:34:42.640 mom

01:34:42.940 from herself

01:34:43.680 it made

01:34:44.300 me grow up

01:34:44.920 real quick

01:34:45.500 and I bet

01:34:46.320 your dad's

01:34:47.120 situation

01:34:47.600 probably made

01:34:48.320 you grow up

01:34:48.880 quicker

01:34:49.180 it makes you

01:34:49.520 aware

01:34:49.980 that's the

01:34:50.520 thing

01:34:50.700 the worst

01:34:51.300 thing to be

01:34:51.680 as a young

01:34:52.340 kid in some

01:34:52.860 ways

01:34:53.180 it's just so

01:34:54.120 aware

01:34:54.600 because you're

01:34:55.400 living on this

01:34:55.840 different timeline

01:34:56.660 you're living on

01:34:57.400 this other

01:34:57.840 thing

01:34:58.360 it's good to

01:34:58.860 be oblivious

01:34:59.660 in those

01:35:00.060 years

01:35:00.420 and really 0.99

01:35:02.100 ignorant 0.79

01:35:02.580 to the pain 1.00

01:35:03.780 and the

01:35:05.000 magnitude

01:35:05.520 that is the

01:35:06.940 weight of

01:35:07.360 loss

01:35:07.800 as a kid

01:35:08.420 we insulate

01:35:09.880 and protect

01:35:10.460 children from

01:35:11.680 that

01:35:12.000 we don't even

01:35:12.880 bring them to

01:35:13.440 funerals

01:35:13.960 because we

01:35:14.400 don't want

01:35:14.840 them to

01:35:15.180 see

01:35:15.500 that's

01:35:16.700 something

01:35:16.900 my dad

01:35:17.420 I gotta

01:35:17.660 say

01:35:17.960 I gotta

01:35:18.120 give him

01:35:18.420 a lot

01:35:18.620 of credit

01:35:19.040 because I've

01:35:19.660 seen people

01:35:21.460 die

01:35:21.940 from a young

01:35:23.280 age

01:35:23.500 from grandparents

01:35:24.160 to family

01:35:24.700 members

01:35:25.060 he would

01:35:25.520 bring me

01:35:26.120 to funerals

01:35:26.800 probably

01:35:27.100 because he

01:35:27.400 couldn't

01:35:27.600 find a

01:35:27.920 babysitter

01:35:28.420 what's he

01:35:28.940 gonna do

01:35:29.240 get a

01:35:29.660 babysitter

01:35:30.140 or have

01:35:31.000 us wait

01:35:31.300 in the

01:35:31.460 car

01:35:31.580 he's

01:35:31.720 like

01:35:31.820 no

01:35:32.000 you're

01:35:32.240 gonna

01:35:32.380 come

01:35:32.720 and

01:35:33.540 look

01:35:33.740 at

01:35:33.900 this

01:35:34.120 dead

01:35:34.400 body 0.65

01:35:34.680 you're

01:35:34.960 gonna

01:35:35.040 see

01:35:35.380 this

01:35:35.700 dead

01:35:36.100 person

01:35:36.520 because

01:35:37.000 one day

01:35:37.700 it

01:35:37.960 could

01:35:38.240 be

01:35:38.400 me

01:35:38.780 my dad

01:35:39.700 would drop

01:35:40.300 us off

01:35:40.660 at funerals

01:35:41.260 in our

01:35:41.700 town

01:35:41.960 in order

01:35:43.960 to get

01:35:44.660 time away

01:35:45.260 from

01:35:45.520 he dropped

01:35:46.260 me off

01:35:46.660 at two

01:35:46.980 funerals

01:35:47.380 in our

01:35:47.620 town

01:35:47.840 that I

01:35:48.060 didn't

01:35:48.180 know

01:35:48.340 anybody

01:35:48.980 at

01:35:49.440 and he

01:35:49.980 would

01:35:50.060 take

01:35:50.180 us

01:35:50.300 to leave

01:35:57.100 we ate

01:35:57.660 like 11

01:35:58.140 french toast

01:35:58.740 sticks

01:35:58.920 that people

01:35:59.360 gave us

01:36:00.180 and they

01:36:00.980 don't even

01:36:01.160 have a

01:36:01.380 play place

01:36:01.820 he enjoyed

01:36:02.560 the play

01:36:02.980 place

01:36:03.240 and he

01:36:03.640 was like

01:36:03.780 it's the

01:36:04.120 wrong one

01:36:05.260 Burger King 1.00

01:36:06.340 doesn't have

01:36:07.040 it dude

01:36:07.260 they don't

01:36:07.440 have it

01:36:07.740 everywhere

01:36:08.100 so this

01:36:08.840 lady named

01:36:09.220 Miss Wanda

01:36:09.540 she was

01:36:09.860 always like

01:36:10.380 the lady 0.95

01:36:10.640 that would

01:36:10.880 take care

01:36:11.300 of us

01:36:11.520 in there

01:36:11.860 and we

01:36:12.680 would just

01:36:12.960 drink those

01:36:13.560 syrups

01:36:13.980 when people

01:36:14.320 left

01:36:14.640 but we'd

01:36:15.200 be at 0.99

01:36:15.380 the fucking 1.00

01:36:15.740 Burger King 1.00

01:36:16.260 for like

01:36:16.660 eight hours

01:36:17.440 talking to

01:36:18.000 people

01:36:18.300 me and

01:36:18.920 my sisters

01:36:19.460 and it

01:36:19.740 would just

01:36:19.900 be bizarre

01:36:20.780 but you'd

01:36:21.660 end up in 1.00

01:36:22.080 bizarre shit 0.99

01:36:23.040 like that 0.98

01:36:23.640 you know

01:36:24.060 my dad

01:36:24.940 would take

01:36:25.280 he'd be like

01:36:25.620 driving me

01:36:25.960 over to the

01:36:26.200 post office

01:36:26.620 because I

01:36:26.880 was kind

01:36:27.140 of tall

01:36:27.580 when I was

01:36:28.960 10 or 11

01:36:29.640 maybe 12

01:36:30.220 so I'd drive

01:36:31.080 him over 0.71

01:36:31.320 there but I

01:36:31.560 didn't have a

01:36:31.780 driver's license

01:36:32.260 or anything

01:36:32.720 and there'd be

01:36:33.240 no parking

01:36:33.660 spots

01:36:33.960 he'd be like

01:36:34.160 well just do

01:36:34.780 a couple laps

01:36:35.220 around the

01:36:35.460 block while

01:36:35.760 I'm in

01:36:36.060 here

01:36:36.320 and I'd be

01:36:37.380 like

01:36:37.540 and there was

01:36:38.680 this huge

01:36:39.040 cutlass

01:36:39.480 as Delta 88

01:36:40.100 and so I was

01:36:40.420 like I can't 1.00

01:36:40.840 drive this bitch 1.00

01:36:41.340 and he didn't 1.00

01:36:41.620 have power

01:36:41.840 steering

01:36:42.120 dude I would 0.90

01:36:43.320 hit and the

01:36:43.840 car was so

01:36:44.300 banged up 0.99

01:36:44.700 I'd fucking 0.99

01:36:52.080 there was no 0.98

01:36:53.560 like mirrors

01:36:54.580 there was no

01:36:55.340 there was no

01:36:56.660 mirrors for sure

01:36:57.360 after I hit

01:36:57.840 the street

01:36:58.140 but there was

01:36:58.600 no cameras

01:37:00.320 nobody knew

01:37:00.880 what had

01:37:01.200 happened you

01:37:01.700 know and I

01:37:02.200 would just be

01:37:02.640 in there and

01:37:02.940 if dad had to

01:37:03.520 wait to buy

01:37:03.920 stamps I'd be

01:37:04.680 out there 0.99

01:37:05.060 I'd fucking 1.00

01:37:05.720 hit 50 cars 0.99

01:37:06.720 dude but

01:37:08.160 dude it was

01:37:08.680 just you would

01:37:09.280 be in crazy

01:37:10.280 scenarios odd

01:37:12.360 environments put

01:37:13.040 you in crazy

01:37:13.660 scenarios that

01:37:14.960 other people

01:37:15.360 couldn't fathom

01:37:16.060 and then it

01:37:16.500 would just kind

01:37:16.960 of get your

01:37:17.580 brain to like

01:37:18.160 a different

01:37:18.500 place so your

01:37:19.680 brain was kind

01:37:20.140 of operating in

01:37:21.040 some wild

01:37:21.580 territory one

01:37:23.640 of the things

01:37:24.000 you said yeah

01:37:26.120 yeah I wonder

01:37:26.660 how many kids

01:37:27.220 are quiet

01:37:27.720 because there

01:37:28.280 are they

01:37:29.200 they're worried

01:37:29.920 if they just

01:37:30.900 talk if they

01:37:31.620 affect the world

01:37:33.200 in some way

01:37:34.020 that it could

01:37:35.220 alter it that

01:37:35.900 they could you

01:37:37.160 know because when

01:37:38.000 you're a child

01:37:38.560 things are very

01:37:39.140 balanced in your

01:37:39.860 head like I

01:37:40.260 remember I would

01:37:41.120 swallow on both

01:37:41.900 sides of my

01:37:42.340 mouth I would

01:37:43.160 be careful how I

01:37:43.840 stepped if I

01:37:44.920 counted one I

01:37:45.780 had to count one

01:37:46.500 on the other

01:37:46.900 side of my

01:37:47.360 brain I always

01:37:47.940 had like these

01:37:48.400 two sides inside

01:37:49.340 of me and I

01:37:50.220 have like one

01:37:50.520 over here one

01:37:51.020 over here like

01:37:51.540 these little

01:37:51.880 things I had

01:37:52.340 to do right

01:37:52.960 and um I

01:37:54.420 did the same

01:37:54.920 thing yeah

01:37:55.660 ticks little

01:37:56.720 ticks and it

01:37:57.500 was because I

01:37:57.980 had to keep

01:37:58.420 things even

01:37:59.080 everything had

01:38:00.100 to be even

01:38:00.840 and so I

01:38:01.400 wonder how

01:38:01.940 many times

01:38:02.500 kids operate

01:38:03.080 in this space

01:38:03.580 where it's like

01:38:04.040 I just can't

01:38:05.480 affect anything

01:38:06.140 too much

01:38:06.680 because things

01:38:08.220 as far as I

01:38:09.020 recognize them

01:38:09.760 are already

01:38:10.380 like kind of

01:38:11.080 on a on a

01:38:12.500 uncertain

01:38:13.560 fulcrum on a

01:38:14.440 one-footed

01:38:15.020 fulcrum and

01:38:15.540 it's gonna get

01:38:16.000 weird you know

01:38:16.760 um no I

01:38:18.320 think you

01:38:18.760 you just

01:38:20.440 hit you hit

01:38:21.060 the nail on

01:38:21.620 the head right

01:38:22.160 there it's

01:38:22.700 interesting

01:38:23.000 yeah I

01:38:24.340 think that

01:38:24.700 was I

01:38:25.780 think you

01:38:26.220 articulated it

01:38:27.180 far better than

01:38:28.160 I did or

01:38:29.100 could have

01:38:30.100 yeah you're

01:38:31.320 afraid to

01:38:32.580 affect the

01:38:33.180 world because

01:38:33.820 yes you

01:38:34.720 might change

01:38:35.780 it for the

01:38:36.260 worse so like

01:38:37.280 I'm gonna stay

01:38:37.960 Switzerland and

01:38:39.200 keep my mouth

01:38:39.820 shut yeah and

01:38:41.000 I did that for

01:38:41.740 most of my

01:38:42.660 childhood and

01:38:44.000 then but then

01:38:45.920 a lot of the

01:38:46.480 world happens

01:38:47.000 inside of you

01:38:47.720 then yeah if

01:38:48.640 it's not

01:38:48.940 happening inside

01:38:49.480 of you a lot

01:38:49.820 of the

01:38:49.980 conversations

01:38:50.520 and stuff they

01:38:50.980 happen inside

01:38:51.600 of you yeah

01:38:52.320 which is

01:38:52.700 interesting yeah

01:38:53.860 and it's I

01:38:54.640 think it can be

01:38:55.180 painful and scary

01:38:56.360 but also kind of

01:38:57.680 fascinating it

01:38:59.700 allows you to

01:39:00.320 be by yourself

01:39:01.420 a lot and

01:39:02.860 and it it

01:39:04.520 teaches you and

01:39:05.420 trains you to

01:39:06.060 be alone and

01:39:07.280 thrive and

01:39:07.960 loneliness and

01:39:08.940 if there's

01:39:09.340 anything or

01:39:10.100 like with

01:39:10.420 boxing song

01:39:11.540 writing I'm

01:39:12.240 assuming comedy

01:39:13.040 there's a lot

01:39:14.940 of loneliness to

01:39:15.960 it you got to

01:39:16.720 be inside your

01:39:17.580 own head a lot

01:39:18.820 in order to do

01:39:20.280 it properly

01:39:21.480 like it's not

01:39:22.500 like you know

01:39:23.180 you just go up

01:39:23.720 and play a

01:39:24.900 baseball game

01:39:25.720 and hit a

01:39:26.380 homer and

01:39:27.520 then you know

01:39:28.060 it's it's this

01:39:28.740 it's this thing

01:39:29.560 you got to

01:39:30.000 stay in all

01:39:30.960 the time yeah

01:39:31.800 it's not event

01:39:33.620 based it's it's

01:39:35.300 just kind of

01:39:35.860 this state of

01:39:37.120 mentality and

01:39:38.520 that's a good

01:39:38.760 point especially

01:39:39.260 with boxing

01:39:39.760 because boxing

01:39:40.520 most of it is

01:39:41.260 the training

01:39:41.860 yeah the fights

01:39:43.020 are very rare

01:39:43.740 yeah the fights

01:39:45.280 are rare and

01:39:46.020 short compared to

01:39:47.000 the training so

01:39:47.760 your father was

01:39:48.680 a boxer how

01:39:49.840 did he get into

01:39:51.360 it do you know

01:39:52.360 how yeah

01:39:53.520 well he started

01:39:55.440 probably a year

01:39:57.720 before I was

01:39:58.380 born he saw

01:40:00.360 Muhammad Ali

01:40:01.180 fight

01:40:02.360 Muhammad Ali

01:40:03.560 was like his

01:40:04.140 hero hero

01:40:05.000 he's from

01:40:06.540 Louisville Kentucky

01:40:07.240 so very

01:40:07.880 almost like a

01:40:08.840 local dude

01:40:10.280 too

01:40:10.620 and my dad

01:40:12.900 just idolized

01:40:13.960 him he just

01:40:15.140 watched all his

01:40:16.300 fights loved

01:40:17.280 everything about

01:40:18.120 him in and out

01:40:19.280 of the ring

01:40:19.700 and I think

01:40:24.000 yeah he was

01:40:24.560 just really

01:40:24.960 inspired by

01:40:25.700 Ali's story

01:40:26.540 and he

01:40:28.020 literally just

01:40:28.820 wanted to start

01:40:29.860 boxing and I

01:40:31.580 think the movie

01:40:32.200 Rocky probably

01:40:32.940 just came out

01:40:33.640 around that time

01:40:34.380 too I bet that

01:40:35.320 probably had

01:40:35.760 something to do

01:40:36.320 with it

01:40:36.580 a lot of

01:40:37.080 whites got 0.51

01:40:37.500 caught up in 0.97

01:40:38.000 that

01:40:38.280 yep and

01:40:39.120 but I think

01:40:41.100 with the

01:40:41.440 combination of

01:40:42.120 Muhammad Ali

01:40:42.800 and Rocky

01:40:43.520 Balboa

01:40:44.160 yeah my dad

01:40:46.520 said hey I

01:40:47.620 want to put on

01:40:48.200 some gloves

01:40:48.800 and before

01:40:49.840 he knew it

01:40:50.460 he was

01:40:51.120 he was

01:40:51.820 fighting

01:40:52.140 and he

01:40:53.940 started on

01:40:54.560 his own

01:40:54.940 just like

01:40:55.580 literally

01:40:56.120 fighting anybody

01:40:57.140 like signing

01:40:57.880 up for

01:40:58.440 tough man

01:40:59.620 competitions

01:41:00.280 and then he

01:41:01.020 ended up

01:41:01.360 finding this

01:41:01.900 great gym

01:41:02.780 up in

01:41:03.760 Indianapolis

01:41:04.500 and fighting

01:41:05.160 under this

01:41:05.740 coach named

01:41:06.800 Champ Chaney

01:41:07.440 that was his

01:41:08.640 name

01:41:08.960 Champ Chaney

01:41:09.540 bring him up 0.56

01:41:10.000 let's get a

01:41:10.320 gander at him

01:41:10.940 I'd like to

01:41:11.580 see this man

01:41:12.140 today

01:41:12.480 I can still

01:41:13.320 smell the

01:41:14.280 cigar smoke

01:41:15.140 that's him

01:41:15.800 dude

01:41:16.000 there you go

01:41:16.440 Champ

01:41:16.840 oh dude

01:41:17.720 I haven't

01:41:18.040 seen him

01:41:18.500 forever

01:41:19.220 let him

01:41:19.700 have it

01:41:20.040 that second

01:41:20.780 picture right

01:41:21.300 there that's

01:41:21.840 exactly how

01:41:22.640 he'd have that

01:41:23.940 same sweater

01:41:24.640 on every time

01:41:25.340 I'd see him

01:41:25.960 oh yeah

01:41:27.200 yeah police

01:41:27.920 athletic league

01:41:28.700 that was the

01:41:29.220 power clubs

01:41:29.980 we'd fight at

01:41:30.720 like we would

01:41:31.240 open up for

01:41:31.860 our dad's

01:41:32.400 fights

01:41:32.800 like when he

01:41:34.020 got into

01:41:34.440 like Champ's

01:41:35.260 tutelage

01:41:35.920 that's when he

01:41:36.700 started like

01:41:37.420 really doing

01:41:38.300 well

01:41:38.680 okay

01:41:39.400 because he

01:41:39.740 didn't have

01:41:40.080 any really

01:41:40.460 good training

01:41:41.300 and very

01:41:42.920 much like how

01:41:43.620 Apollo trained

01:41:44.520 Rocky

01:41:44.960 Champ trained

01:41:46.080 my dad

01:41:46.580 got it

01:41:47.220 he like

01:41:48.060 reformatted

01:41:49.220 his whole

01:41:49.740 style

01:41:50.280 he taught

01:41:50.680 him footwork

01:41:51.340 he taught

01:41:51.700 him head

01:41:52.040 movement

01:41:52.380 he taught

01:41:52.800 him all

01:41:54.000 the things

01:41:54.440 that he

01:41:54.700 lacked

01:41:55.040 fundamentally

01:41:55.880 because my

01:41:56.480 dad was

01:41:56.880 just a tough

01:41:57.560 guy with a

01:41:58.460 mean punch 0.99

01:41:59.220 and a heart

01:42:00.280 of a lion

01:42:00.880 and he could

01:42:02.400 just train

01:42:03.200 train

01:42:03.640 train

01:42:04.040 he loved

01:42:04.880 to train

01:42:05.300 he loved

01:42:05.620 to work

01:42:06.100 and Champ

01:42:07.220 loved that

01:42:07.760 about him

01:42:08.280 his work

01:42:08.760 ethic

01:42:09.080 he'd show

01:42:09.620 up to

01:42:11.380 Indianapolis

01:42:12.000 he'd spar

01:42:12.700 anybody

01:42:13.320 I remember

01:42:14.040 him getting

01:42:14.480 up in the

01:42:14.960 morning

01:42:15.220 and literally

01:42:15.800 having to

01:42:16.400 peel his

01:42:16.880 eyes open

01:42:17.480 to see us

01:42:18.220 because of

01:42:18.820 just sparring

01:42:19.600 not from a

01:42:20.200 fight

01:42:20.480 just sparring

01:42:21.220 those dudes 0.91

01:42:21.780 in Champ's

01:42:22.360 gym

01:42:22.640 dude

01:42:23.440 go ahead

01:42:24.380 I was just

01:42:25.100 going to say

01:42:25.420 he had a lot

01:42:26.440 of guys that

01:42:26.940 didn't care

01:42:27.500 for him

01:42:27.940 and I remember

01:42:28.560 him talking

01:42:31.140 about that

01:42:31.720 he really had

01:42:32.440 to fight

01:42:32.820 for his spot

01:42:33.520 at that gym

01:42:34.240 your dad did

01:42:34.820 what reasons

01:42:35.980 would they have

01:42:36.320 not to care

01:42:36.720 about him

01:42:37.100 or care for

01:42:38.520 him

01:42:38.740 I think

01:42:39.800 Champ maybe

01:42:42.280 favored him

01:42:42.880 because he

01:42:43.280 really put

01:42:43.960 in a lot

01:42:44.360 of work

01:42:44.760 I think Champ

01:42:46.700 saw what he

01:42:47.260 was going

01:42:47.600 through

01:42:47.900 he was bringing

01:42:48.420 his kids

01:42:48.980 to the gym

01:42:49.780 and he was

01:42:51.560 very much

01:42:52.340 out of sorts

01:42:53.020 there culturally

01:42:53.780 and he was

01:42:54.820 fighting an

01:42:55.340 uphill battle

01:42:55.980 and the wind

01:42:57.220 was in his

01:42:57.680 face

01:42:58.020 and he

01:42:58.300 still kept

01:42:59.040 going forward

01:42:59.720 and I feel

01:43:01.520 like that's

01:43:02.840 what Champ

01:43:03.280 saw in him

01:43:04.440 and so

01:43:05.440 when we

01:43:05.820 started boxing

01:43:06.440 as a kid

01:43:07.120 I mean

01:43:07.480 my first

01:43:08.100 memories

01:43:08.500 are the

01:43:09.420 sounds of

01:43:09.960 these fights

01:43:10.580 like that

01:43:11.300 right there

01:43:11.900 like I can

01:43:12.500 smell that

01:43:13.200 picture

01:43:13.640 like I can

01:43:15.740 smell the

01:43:16.160 room

01:43:16.680 I can

01:43:17.320 it's cigar

01:43:18.320 smoke

01:43:18.960 and isopropyl

01:43:20.580 alcohol

01:43:21.040 with menthol

01:43:21.860 in it

01:43:22.340 and it's

01:43:24.360 it's all

01:43:25.280 those

01:43:25.400 and a lot

01:43:25.760 of sweat

01:43:26.240 and leather

01:43:26.860 and the

01:43:28.700 sound of

01:43:29.200 like

01:43:29.500 cops

01:43:30.740 under the

01:43:32.020 table

01:43:32.280 gambling

01:43:32.780 screaming 0.51

01:43:33.560 red

01:43:34.060 and blue

01:43:34.540 because that's

01:43:35.360 where you

01:43:35.620 would be

01:43:36.040 like red

01:43:36.460 and blue

01:43:36.900 they have

01:43:37.600 like red

01:43:38.060 headgear

01:43:38.700 like this

01:43:39.640 was an

01:43:39.900 exhibition

01:43:40.300 fight

01:43:40.580 me and my

01:43:40.940 brother

01:43:41.120 were fighting

01:43:41.520 each other

01:43:42.020 in this

01:43:42.360 one

01:43:42.600 so we

01:43:43.220 didn't have

01:43:43.760 an opponent

01:43:44.200 so they

01:43:44.560 just have

01:43:44.940 us fight

01:43:45.300 each other

01:43:45.760 so that

01:43:46.460 was one

01:43:46.680 of the fights

01:43:47.060 we opened

01:43:48.780 up for my

01:43:49.360 dad

01:43:49.480 they gave

01:43:49.840 both y'all

01:43:50.260 a trophy

01:43:50.840 too

01:43:51.120 which is 0.99

01:43:51.460 fucking 0.98

01:43:51.680 sure 0.99

01:43:52.040 it's like

01:43:52.300 a participation

01:43:52.940 trophy

01:43:53.380 because it's

01:43:53.780 an exhibition

01:43:54.340 fight

01:43:54.700 but if you

01:43:55.020 both get

01:43:55.520 one

01:43:55.720 yeah

01:43:55.880 I could

01:43:56.200 see that

01:43:56.700 just tell

01:43:57.220 them both

01:43:57.600 are the winner

01:43:58.040 there's exhibition

01:43:58.820 fights and then

01:43:59.500 there's competition

01:44:00.280 these are exhibitions

01:44:01.240 so in an exhibition

01:44:02.220 fight you both get

01:44:03.260 a trophy

01:44:03.640 you're just exhibiting

01:44:05.020 the sport of boxing

01:44:05.960 not really

01:44:07.620 nothing's going on

01:44:09.500 your amateur record

01:44:10.800 or anything like that

01:44:11.920 but then we ended up

01:44:13.000 fighting other kids

01:44:13.880 and when they could

01:44:14.700 find a boy

01:44:15.420 our size to fight

01:44:16.460 we'd fight him

01:44:17.360 and so we would

01:44:19.280 open up

01:44:19.820 like the first

01:44:20.400 two or three

01:44:20.920 fights on the card

01:44:21.820 would be kid fights

01:44:22.840 oh that's fun

01:44:23.580 so I joke around

01:44:25.340 I've been an opener

01:44:26.040 for a long time

01:44:27.080 but yeah

01:44:28.260 I really haven't

01:44:28.800 there's nothing fun

01:44:29.420 to them watching

01:44:29.820 a kid smoke cigarettes

01:44:30.920 or fight another kid

01:44:32.480 a little kid

01:44:33.320 I did both of those things

01:44:34.560 hell yeah

01:44:35.140 there's something about that

01:44:36.540 I think they should have

01:44:37.340 a zoo where you get

01:44:38.240 to watch people 0.99

01:44:38.900 do unique shit 0.99

01:44:39.880 if they had a section 1.00

01:44:41.520 where a couple kids

01:44:42.240 are sitting there smoking

01:44:43.060 don't have them smoke

01:44:44.520 all day

01:44:45.000 because I know

01:44:45.380 it's bad for them

01:44:45.960 but they get two cigarettes

01:44:47.560 a day each

01:44:48.240 and it's like

01:44:49.080 at a certain time

01:44:50.320 they smoke

01:44:50.880 and you all get to watch it

01:44:52.000 and for like 15 minutes

01:44:52.880 a day

01:44:53.120 you come in

01:44:53.800 and watch it

01:44:54.180 and you can stream it too

01:44:55.160 if you didn't want

01:44:55.680 to go in person

01:44:56.100 you could stream it

01:44:56.760 but you're telling me

01:44:57.340 some kid's smoking

01:44:58.180 on my lunch break

01:44:59.480 at 12.15pm today

01:45:00.620 you know

01:45:02.180 Gary or Robert

01:45:03.320 or whatever

01:45:03.680 is going to smoke

01:45:04.440 and

01:45:05.260 if you find a little Gary

01:45:06.140 let me know

01:45:06.900 yeah

01:45:07.220 bubble wrap him

01:45:08.680 protect him

01:45:09.480 that's a precious

01:45:11.480 that's a Gary breed

01:45:12.500 right there

01:45:13.000 oh that's a

01:45:13.560 yeah

01:45:13.740 Gary Indiana

01:45:14.540 isn't it

01:45:15.060 Gary Indiana

01:45:16.380 is a wild place

01:45:17.140 I've heard

01:45:17.480 oh yeah

01:45:17.940 but yeah

01:45:19.100 I would watch a kid

01:45:19.940 I would love to watch

01:45:20.820 a kid smoke

01:45:21.620 you know

01:45:22.220 yeah

01:45:23.240 so and that's

01:45:24.100 maybe that sounds

01:45:24.820 very Russian

01:45:25.480 I mean I don't know

01:45:26.460 I've been online a lot

01:45:27.860 no I think smoking

01:45:30.260 is a very American thing too

01:45:31.800 but yeah

01:45:32.620 I just love

01:45:33.420 like I don't know

01:45:34.040 I love nostalgia too

01:45:35.260 that's something

01:45:35.660 that I love dude

01:45:36.260 I remember the first

01:45:37.300 yeah going to funeral

01:45:40.360 like I just

01:45:40.960 I love the first

01:45:41.980 of everything

01:45:42.580 because after the first

01:45:44.540 time of everything

01:45:45.400 everything lost a lot

01:45:46.780 of luster for me

01:45:47.620 in life

01:45:48.000 I think a lot

01:45:48.600 of times

01:45:49.020 and I don't know

01:45:50.140 why that is

01:45:51.120 and I don't mean it

01:45:52.400 like super negatively

01:45:53.220 like I'm not down

01:45:54.020 in the dumps

01:45:54.520 or anything

01:45:54.880 yeah

01:45:55.480 but I just

01:45:56.240 it's the first

01:45:57.380 it's like

01:45:58.260 there's something

01:45:59.800 fascinating about

01:46:00.720 the first time

01:46:01.400 of everything

01:46:01.880 yeah

01:46:02.400 yeah nostalgia

01:46:04.040 is a

01:46:04.560 it's a really

01:46:05.620 effective tool

01:46:06.960 as far as

01:46:08.020 you know

01:46:09.260 making people

01:46:09.980 go back

01:46:10.660 to memories

01:46:11.480 like whether

01:46:12.960 it's smell

01:46:13.700 when you get

01:46:14.680 in your own

01:46:15.120 memory

01:46:15.380 you're attached

01:46:16.220 yeah

01:46:16.680 you know

01:46:17.340 it's like

01:46:17.840 yeah there's

01:46:19.900 just something

01:46:20.240 that attaches

01:46:20.860 you there

01:46:21.440 yeah

01:46:22.540 and you can

01:46:23.200 use senses

01:46:24.120 to

01:46:25.080 like a

01:46:26.060 like as a

01:46:26.900 an appendage

01:46:27.760 to nostalgia

01:46:29.060 like a sense

01:46:30.100 of smell

01:46:30.600 a sense of sight

01:46:32.140 or sound

01:46:32.760 and touch

01:46:33.760 all that

01:46:34.240 and I think

01:46:35.480 if you kind

01:46:36.040 of use those

01:46:36.740 senses

01:46:37.140 and appendage

01:46:39.240 them

01:46:39.580 to

01:46:40.760 a certain

01:46:41.940 type of

01:46:42.400 nostalgia

01:46:42.900 you can

01:46:43.660 unlock a

01:46:44.300 memory

01:46:44.640 within

01:46:45.060 any human

01:46:45.980 yeah

01:46:46.560 like all

01:46:47.160 humans

01:46:47.540 it doesn't

01:46:47.900 have to be

01:46:48.240 your memory

01:46:48.880 you can

01:46:49.360 you suddenly

01:46:50.380 have a key

01:46:51.100 to so many

01:46:51.780 memories

01:46:52.460 so many

01:46:53.240 minds

01:46:53.800 and

01:46:54.340 and you

01:46:55.800 yeah you open

01:46:56.380 up these

01:46:56.740 memories

01:46:57.100 that people

01:46:57.780 have had

01:46:58.080 vaulted

01:46:58.580 for years

01:46:59.180 and when

01:46:59.500 they come

01:46:59.860 out

01:47:00.180 it's like

01:47:00.620 it's almost

01:47:00.960 like seeing

01:47:01.460 that toy

01:47:02.080 that you

01:47:03.000 got for

01:47:03.400 Christmas

01:47:03.800 when you

01:47:04.840 were seven

01:47:05.280 years old

01:47:05.780 that you

01:47:06.080 were so

01:47:06.480 excited

01:47:06.940 about

01:47:07.340 but seeing

01:47:08.280 it again

01:47:08.780 for the first

01:47:09.340 time when

01:47:09.920 you're in

01:47:10.300 your 30s

01:47:10.960 or 40

01:47:11.360 and you

01:47:11.640 kind of

01:47:12.020 relive that

01:47:13.200 excitement

01:47:13.600 for at least

01:47:14.040 a second

01:47:14.560 like oh

01:47:15.220 man I

01:47:15.640 remember that

01:47:16.720 feeling

01:47:17.260 I haven't

01:47:17.880 seen that

01:47:18.380 in 30

01:47:18.800 years

01:47:19.240 and when

01:47:20.220 you can

01:47:20.540 unleash

01:47:21.640 that memory

01:47:22.720 it's

01:47:23.400 such a

01:47:25.420 beautiful

01:47:25.780 thing

01:47:26.260 you see

01:47:27.120 it on

01:47:27.400 people's

01:47:27.800 eyes

01:47:28.200 you see

01:47:28.820 them

01:47:29.220 traveling

01:47:29.980 through

01:47:30.360 time

01:47:30.800 and

01:47:31.700 yeah

01:47:32.860 it's

01:47:33.440 it's like

01:47:34.140 the first

01:47:34.380 time you

01:47:34.560 hear a song

01:47:35.100 kind of

01:47:35.340 that really

01:47:35.760 touches you 0.73

01:47:36.340 you know

01:47:36.700 like

01:47:37.500 it's a

01:47:38.260 human

01:47:38.520 thing

01:47:38.980 why

01:47:39.600 I

01:47:40.220 got

01:47:40.560 a

01:47:40.820 new

01:47:41.040 complaint

01:47:41.640 who

01:47:42.360 sang

01:47:43.240 that

01:47:44.580 song

01:47:44.780 you know

01:47:44.940 Nirvana

01:47:45.340 it's

01:47:45.560 Heart

01:47:45.740 Shaped 0.89

01:47:46.000 Box

01:47:46.400 god

01:47:46.760 that song

01:47:47.240 was 1.00

01:47:47.420 fucking 0.99

01:47:47.800 good 0.98

01:47:48.100 it's

01:47:48.540 incredible

01:47:49.040 yeah

01:47:49.360 I

01:47:49.540 would

01:47:49.660 stay

01:47:50.020 home

01:47:50.400 from

01:47:50.580 school

01:47:51.180 to

01:47:51.800 listen

01:47:52.200 to

01:47:52.360 that

01:47:52.560 song

01:47:52.860 dude

01:47:53.100 and watch

01:47:53.540 the video

01:47:54.200 I remember

01:47:54.840 watching the

01:47:55.400 video

01:47:55.760 and just

01:47:56.100 being like

01:47:56.560 I remember

01:47:58.320 like Kurt

01:47:58.980 rocking back

01:47:59.720 and forth

01:48:00.080 in that

01:48:00.420 chair

01:48:00.840 just

01:48:01.960 everything

01:48:02.340 about

01:48:02.920 it

01:48:03.100 like

01:48:03.480 that

01:48:03.840 whole

01:48:04.100 record

01:48:04.480 in

01:48:04.680 utero

01:48:05.060 was

01:48:05.360 just

01:48:05.660 like

01:48:05.980 life

01:48:06.620 changing

01:48:07.040 for me

01:48:07.500 that was

01:48:07.980 huge

01:48:08.200 Scentless

01:48:08.560 Apprentice

01:48:09.180 oh my

01:48:09.700 god

01:48:09.980 yeah

01:48:10.180 this is

01:48:10.540 the

01:48:10.680 video

01:48:10.980 oh

01:48:11.500 I

01:48:12.720 do

01:48:13.020 remember

01:48:13.400 some

01:48:13.680 of

01:48:13.800 this

01:48:14.000 now

01:48:14.280 dude

01:48:14.520 uh

01:48:15.500 I've

01:48:17.020 been locked

01:48:17.600 inside

01:48:18.680 your

01:48:19.240 heart

01:48:20.020 shaped

01:48:20.640 oh

01:48:21.120 dude

01:48:21.520 yeah

01:48:21.820 when

01:48:22.160 Soundgarden

01:48:22.980 came

01:48:23.320 up

01:48:23.440 bro

01:48:23.700 Soundgarden

01:48:24.420 changed

01:48:24.760 my life

01:48:25.080 Stone Temple

01:48:25.760 Pilot

01:48:26.260 bro

01:48:26.440 I actually

01:48:26.700 learned how to

01:48:27.120 play guitar

01:48:27.660 from Soundgarden

01:48:28.500 people

01:48:29.000 if they're

01:48:29.580 like

01:48:29.760 if I

01:48:30.000 could

01:48:30.140 like

01:48:30.320 give

01:48:30.480 anybody

01:48:31.060 like

01:48:31.320 who taught

01:48:31.880 you

01:48:32.020 how to

01:48:32.320 play

01:48:32.520 guitar

01:48:32.980 literally

01:48:34.140 like

01:48:34.580 if I

01:48:34.900 could credit

01:48:35.320 anybody

01:48:35.860 it would

01:48:37.500 and I

01:48:38.900 feel

01:48:39.380 is that

01:48:39.600 Soundgarden

01:48:40.020 when the

01:48:40.580 Stone Temple

01:48:41.680 Pilots

01:48:42.260 they were

01:48:42.980 also good

01:48:43.620 what was

01:48:44.140 Soundgarden

01:48:44.980 what's a

01:48:45.620 Soundgarden

01:48:45.940 song

01:48:46.360 there's so

01:48:47.240 many

01:48:47.540 like

01:48:47.820 as far as

01:48:48.480 hits

01:48:48.700 you got

01:48:48.940 like

01:48:49.060 Black Hole

01:48:49.480 Sun

01:48:49.820 Fell On

01:48:50.240 Black 0.64

01:48:50.480 Days

01:48:51.100 Blow Up

01:48:52.700 The Outside

01:48:53.200 World

01:48:53.500 one of my

01:48:53.940 favorites

01:48:54.540 Rusty Cage

01:48:56.960 Pretty News

01:48:57.660 The Day I

01:48:58.160 Tried to

01:48:58.540 Live

01:48:58.840 Fourth of

01:49:00.040 July

01:49:00.320 is heavy

01:49:00.780 as hell

01:49:01.280 I love

01:49:01.940 Fourth of

01:49:02.360 July

01:49:02.600 Fourth of

01:49:02.960 July

01:49:03.680 Lemmo

01:49:05.080 Wreck

01:49:05.400 oh that

01:49:05.960 slaps

01:49:06.440 super

01:49:07.140 heavy

01:49:07.480 well that's

01:49:10.120 Fourth of

01:49:10.780 July

01:49:11.100 blow up

01:49:14.080 the outside 0.99

01:49:14.900 dude

01:49:16.080 one of the

01:49:16.620 greatest rock

01:49:17.260 and roll

01:49:17.540 vocal performances

01:49:18.480 ever is blow up

01:49:19.560 the outside world

01:49:20.460 like listen to

01:49:21.420 that Chris

01:49:22.200 Cornell vocal

01:49:23.180 and just

01:49:24.100 talk to me

01:49:25.100 after

01:49:25.620 it is like a

01:49:27.120 a clinic

01:49:28.560 is it pretty good

01:49:29.360 put these on

01:49:30.060 let's play it

01:49:30.440 real quick

01:49:30.920 we gotta get

01:49:32.020 you're gonna play

01:49:32.400 a couple songs

01:49:32.780 for us today

01:49:33.140 what do you think

01:49:33.720 Stevie

01:49:33.980 yeah

01:49:34.460 let's do it

01:49:35.080 come on

01:49:35.460 I'm scared

01:49:36.060 let's listen

01:49:37.340 to this

01:49:37.640 together

01:49:37.960 if we can

01:49:38.580 there's so much

01:49:42.080 like John

01:49:42.580 Lennon

01:49:42.900 influence

01:49:43.360 in this

01:49:43.820 song

01:49:44.100 you can

01:49:44.500 really

01:49:44.900 oh

01:49:45.700 oh

01:49:46.200 nothing

01:49:46.700 seems to

01:49:49.220 kill me

01:49:50.360 ugh 1.00

01:49:51.020 remember how

01:50:15.280 videos were so

01:50:16.360 much too

01:50:16.880 then

01:50:17.220 nothing

01:50:22.280 nothing

01:50:24.480 seems to

01:50:27.080 break me

01:50:28.180 ugh

01:50:29.440 riding

01:50:30.420 dude

01:50:30.860 riding

01:50:31.280 somewhere

01:50:31.700 just listening

01:50:32.380 to a song

01:50:32.800 by yourself

01:50:33.640 there was

01:50:34.840 nothing

01:50:35.300 like it

01:50:36.400 used to

01:50:41.400 my buddy

01:50:41.780 would smoke

01:50:42.260 cigarettes

01:50:42.560 in his car

01:50:43.020 and he'd

01:50:43.260 just throw

01:50:43.720 them in the

01:50:44.040 backseat

01:50:44.460 when he was

01:50:44.760 done

01:50:44.960 smoking

01:50:45.320 them

01:50:45.500 whole

01:50:47.880 backseat

01:50:48.320 it burnt

01:50:48.820 up like

01:50:49.120 70 times

01:50:49.800 the back

01:50:50.020 of his car

01:50:50.340 he would

01:50:51.500 just

01:50:51.720 he'd have

01:50:52.120 a little

01:50:52.360 water bottle

01:50:52.940 from his

01:50:53.260 mom's

01:50:53.520 hair salon

01:50:54.120 and he'd

01:50:54.780 zap it

01:50:55.820 out

01:50:55.980 yeah

01:50:56.160 zap it

01:50:56.780 bro his voice

01:51:11.160 was like

01:51:11.440 nobody's

01:51:12.200 oh that's

01:51:12.660 insane

01:51:13.140 and then

01:51:15.180 I mean

01:51:16.160 it didn't even

01:51:16.600 seem human

01:51:17.320 that he was

01:51:18.180 doing this

01:51:18.800 no

01:51:19.360 very few

01:51:23.180 people had

01:51:23.680 like that

01:51:24.160 range

01:51:24.780 of being

01:51:25.080 able to

01:51:25.340 go that

01:51:25.680 high

01:51:26.020 but also

01:51:26.560 like go

01:51:27.260 low

01:51:27.800 and make

01:51:28.580 it

01:51:28.740 meaningful

01:51:29.300 and then

01:51:30.680 go back

01:51:31.040 down to

01:51:31.440 this

01:51:31.640 world

01:51:32.060 yeah

01:51:34.060 and take

01:51:35.700 you there

01:51:36.160 a lot

01:51:36.760 of those

01:51:37.320 high singers

01:51:37.880 would lose

01:51:38.340 you when

01:51:38.620 they go

01:51:38.900 down

01:51:39.240 like that

01:51:39.760 yeah

01:51:41.140 it's all

01:51:41.740 I mean

01:51:42.420 just so

01:51:43.040 enveloped

01:51:43.800 like you

01:51:44.160 just

01:51:44.420 like you

01:51:45.320 wanted to

01:51:45.800 be in

01:51:46.060 their world

01:51:46.760 smashing pumpkins

01:51:48.660 together

01:51:48.980 there was a lot

01:51:49.620 of good

01:51:49.840 and I

01:51:50.540 always

01:51:50.980 one thing

01:51:51.460 I've never

01:51:52.060 liked

01:51:52.480 I don't

01:51:52.840 like music

01:51:53.400 where you

01:51:53.780 can't hear

01:51:54.560 the words

01:51:55.240 right

01:51:55.560 yeah

01:51:55.900 sometimes

01:51:56.640 the way

01:51:57.100 they do

01:51:57.420 mix

01:51:57.740 or something

01:51:58.100 it

01:51:58.800 loses me

01:51:59.720 if I can't

01:52:00.680 hear the words

01:52:01.380 that's the part

01:52:02.080 that I need

01:52:02.480 the most

01:52:02.940 because I need

01:52:03.900 to feel

01:52:04.260 something

01:52:04.460 the beat

01:52:05.120 and stuff

01:52:05.480 helps

01:52:06.140 it's cool

01:52:06.600 for me

01:52:07.040 but for me

01:52:07.840 I've always

01:52:08.260 been like

01:52:08.780 what are the

01:52:09.540 words telling

01:52:10.060 us

01:52:10.320 you know

01:52:10.820 you want to

01:52:11.440 know the

01:52:11.720 story

01:52:12.040 yes

01:52:12.360 I want to

01:52:12.840 feel something

01:52:13.340 from it

01:52:13.760 you know

01:52:14.640 I'm with you

01:52:18.220 I'm a word

01:52:20.820 nerd

01:52:21.140 so 0.97

01:52:21.500 I'm assuming

01:52:22.700 you are too

01:52:23.360 oh I love

01:52:24.320 to write

01:52:24.680 that was

01:52:24.960 my favorite

01:52:25.840 thing

01:52:26.080 I think

01:52:26.460 one of my

01:52:27.180 goals

01:52:27.440 maybe the

01:52:27.740 next couple

01:52:28.080 years

01:52:28.260 would be

01:52:28.440 to finally

01:52:29.080 get a book

01:52:29.640 done

01:52:29.840 I've written

01:52:30.440 a lot

01:52:30.760 of stuff

01:52:31.260 and I've

01:52:31.980 written

01:52:32.080 probably half

01:52:32.860 of maybe

01:52:33.420 two books

01:52:34.080 but I would

01:52:35.020 like to

01:52:35.440 finally get

01:52:35.880 it done

01:52:36.100 but once

01:52:36.520 video became

01:52:37.180 so popular

01:52:37.820 it was just

01:52:38.300 like

01:52:38.580 and once

01:52:39.320 podcasting

01:52:39.920 became busier

01:52:40.460 it was hard

01:52:40.940 to focus

01:52:41.340 on that

01:52:41.820 is there

01:52:43.660 anything good

01:52:44.020 in the news

01:52:44.500 right now

01:52:44.900 that we want

01:52:45.260 to check

01:52:45.560 out

01:52:45.940 dude

01:52:47.380 I did

01:52:47.820 will you

01:52:48.080 look up

01:52:48.360 an article

01:52:48.740 Trevin

01:52:49.080 I saw

01:52:49.360 something

01:52:49.560 about

01:52:49.820 Facebook

01:52:50.340 and did

01:52:50.760 research

01:52:51.160 and then

01:52:51.460 they

01:52:51.620 canceled

01:52:52.060 it

01:52:52.280 after it

01:52:52.680 started

01:52:52.880 to find

01:52:53.540 beliefs

01:52:55.020 that they

01:52:55.340 didn't

01:52:55.600 want

01:52:55.940 we were

01:52:57.160 talking

01:52:57.420 about

01:52:57.680 that

01:52:57.880 we were

01:52:59.500 talking

01:52:59.620 about

01:52:59.720 research

01:53:00.500 yeah

01:53:01.260 what kind

01:53:02.180 of

01:53:02.260 user

01:53:02.760 bias

01:53:03.140 oh

01:53:03.300 about

01:53:03.480 user

01:53:03.760 bias

01:53:04.220 on

01:53:05.320 boxing

01:53:05.720 have you

01:53:06.580 done

01:53:06.740 any

01:53:06.860 boxing

01:53:07.200 no

01:53:08.000 I've

01:53:09.500 go to

01:53:09.940 a lot

01:53:10.140 of

01:53:10.200 MMA

01:53:10.500 I go to

01:53:10.880 a lot

01:53:11.060 of

01:53:11.120 MMA

01:53:11.320 stuff

01:53:11.560 I love

01:53:11.900 it

01:53:12.000 as soon

01:53:12.480 you know

01:53:13.120 what

01:53:13.240 I wouldn't

01:53:13.440 mind getting

01:53:13.860 into something

01:53:14.320 more

01:53:14.680 the past

01:53:15.440 year has

01:53:15.720 been tough

01:53:16.140 for me

01:53:16.360 I didn't

01:53:16.720 invest

01:53:17.180 in a lot

01:53:17.620 the past

01:53:18.020 couple

01:53:18.200 years

01:53:18.360 were touring

01:53:18.880 I kind

01:53:19.660 of

01:53:19.740 invested

01:53:20.340 more

01:53:20.600 of

01:53:20.700 having

01:53:21.100 a

01:53:21.300 trainer

01:53:21.540 with

01:53:21.760 me

01:53:21.880 on

01:53:21.980 the

01:53:22.100 road

01:53:22.300 or

01:53:22.460 things

01:53:22.700 like

01:53:22.900 that

01:53:23.200 I

01:53:23.600 kind

01:53:23.780 of

01:53:23.860 took

01:53:24.000 some

01:53:24.140 of

01:53:24.200 that

01:53:24.280 for

01:53:24.440 granted

01:53:24.780 and I

01:53:26.140 think

01:53:26.320 in the

01:53:26.580 future

01:53:26.900 that I'll

01:53:27.220 do it

01:53:27.500 differently

01:53:27.940 but this

01:53:29.520 year I'd

01:53:29.840 like to get

01:53:30.300 more in a

01:53:30.680 focus and

01:53:31.120 more on

01:53:31.400 my health

01:53:31.780 and stuff

01:53:32.020 like that

01:53:32.300 I've

01:53:32.480 really

01:53:32.620 burned

01:53:33.000 myself

01:53:33.340 out

01:53:33.580 pretty

01:53:33.800 good

01:53:34.100 but I

01:53:35.520 used

01:53:35.720 to

01:53:35.860 take

01:53:36.700 MMA

01:53:37.860 classes

01:53:38.420 and I

01:53:40.420 have a

01:53:40.660 feeling

01:53:40.840 that I'll

01:53:41.080 get back

01:53:41.440 into it

01:53:41.960 I've

01:53:42.820 also had

01:53:43.260 traveled

01:53:43.680 I was

01:53:43.940 moving

01:53:44.260 a lot

01:53:44.580 too

01:53:44.840 but now

01:53:45.580 I'm

01:53:45.700 going to

01:53:45.820 be here

01:53:46.220 more

01:53:46.520 and so

01:53:47.560 I need

01:53:48.160 to put

01:53:48.420 some roots

01:53:48.840 more in

01:53:49.140 some places

01:53:49.540 like that

01:53:50.100 so it's

01:53:52.000 like I'll

01:53:52.240 be able to

01:53:52.500 have more

01:53:52.780 of a

01:53:53.020 system

01:53:53.360 like a

01:53:53.800 pattern

01:53:54.140 and so

01:53:54.900 it's been

01:53:55.200 tough for me

01:53:55.620 to have

01:53:55.940 that

01:53:56.160 it's so

01:53:56.620 hard to

01:53:56.980 find that

01:53:57.440 I mean

01:53:57.760 I box

01:53:59.140 a lot

01:53:59.520 here in

01:54:00.000 town

01:54:00.240 well a lot

01:54:00.820 when I'm

01:54:01.900 in town

01:54:02.480 I try to

01:54:03.100 as much

01:54:03.460 as I can

01:54:04.000 but it's

01:54:04.480 it's helped

01:54:05.160 me so much

01:54:06.060 just try to

01:54:06.900 even if it's

01:54:07.440 two days a

01:54:08.080 week

01:54:08.340 I only brought

01:54:10.320 it up

01:54:10.640 I went to

01:54:11.300 the UFC

01:54:11.940 Performance

01:54:12.540 Institute

01:54:13.160 in Las

01:54:14.100 Vegas

01:54:14.360 last week

01:54:15.560 because we

01:54:16.540 played in

01:54:16.920 Vegas last

01:54:17.460 week

01:54:17.740 and they

01:54:18.060 invited me

01:54:18.640 in

01:54:18.800 it was

01:54:19.000 so cool

01:54:19.660 were you at

01:54:19.680 the fights

01:54:20.100 no

01:54:20.560 it was

01:54:21.440 after the

01:54:22.480 fights

01:54:22.840 but I saw

01:54:23.360 Sean Strickland

01:54:24.320 there

01:54:24.680 oh you did

01:54:25.460 oh dude

01:54:26.480 he's a really

01:54:27.020 amazing guy

01:54:27.720 he's an

01:54:27.920 interesting guy

01:54:28.740 incredible

01:54:29.180 he's a deep

01:54:29.700 soul

01:54:30.040 he is a deep

01:54:30.780 soul

01:54:31.080 and just

01:54:32.880 such a nice

01:54:33.460 guy

01:54:33.800 everybody there

01:54:34.860 was so nice

01:54:35.540 they're so

01:54:35.940 great

01:54:36.260 did you get

01:54:36.920 to work out

01:54:37.580 there or

01:54:37.820 train there

01:54:38.180 at all

01:54:38.400 no

01:54:38.860 yeah I did

01:54:39.740 I trained

01:54:40.380 with Brandon

01:54:40.820 Jenkins

01:54:41.220 there

01:54:41.760 you did

01:54:42.760 yeah

01:54:43.240 dude bring

01:54:43.760 up Brandon

01:54:44.080 Jenkins

01:54:44.340 I went to

01:54:44.860 I tried

01:54:46.120 yeah Forrest

01:54:47.680 Griffin

01:54:48.040 basically gave

01:54:48.760 me the tour

01:54:49.380 and like he

01:54:50.320 met me there

01:54:51.020 and I was

01:54:51.440 like holy

01:54:52.920 hell

01:54:53.700 there he is

01:54:54.920 nice dude

01:54:56.120 yeah

01:54:56.500 yeah he

01:54:58.280 he put some

01:54:58.920 work on me

01:54:59.620 and uh

01:55:00.400 that's awesome

01:55:01.160 I was really

01:55:01.640 out of shape

01:55:02.280 but it was

01:55:03.100 cool I got

01:55:03.480 to learn

01:55:03.840 some new

01:55:04.300 things

01:55:04.700 like he

01:55:05.140 you know

01:55:05.580 because I

01:55:06.600 only train

01:55:07.260 with boxing

01:55:07.720 guys

01:55:08.160 and he's

01:55:08.600 an MMA

01:55:09.020 guy

01:55:09.380 so like

01:55:09.920 it was just

01:55:10.280 there was a lot

01:55:10.920 of different angles

01:55:11.660 a lot of new

01:55:12.260 things I had to

01:55:12.900 learn and take

01:55:13.560 it you know

01:55:14.060 kind of slow

01:55:14.720 and kind of

01:55:15.480 start from scratch

01:55:16.400 it was

01:55:16.820 it was humbling

01:55:17.980 and uh

01:55:19.220 and I was like

01:55:19.840 four weeks on the

01:55:20.780 road and very

01:55:21.460 like four weeks

01:55:22.220 uh having not

01:55:23.360 trained is too

01:55:24.400 much time off

01:55:25.240 to like

01:55:25.700 go back

01:55:27.060 I felt like

01:55:27.980 a total piece 1.00

01:55:29.040 of crap 1.00

01:55:29.540 yeah 0.99

01:55:30.020 like I looked

01:55:30.780 real bad

01:55:31.460 and I felt

01:55:32.200 like I looked

01:55:32.800 real bad

01:55:33.560 that's the tough

01:55:34.300 thing as you get

01:55:34.660 older too

01:55:35.020 it's like

01:55:35.380 you gotta catch me

01:55:36.460 give me a couple

01:55:36.940 days to prepare

01:55:37.440 for anything

01:55:37.960 I can do it

01:55:38.940 but do not

01:55:40.220 catch me

01:55:40.740 if I've had

01:55:41.140 four or five

01:55:41.780 diet cokes

01:55:42.460 and you want me

01:55:42.960 to box

01:55:43.480 or whatever 1.00

01:55:43.920 bitch I'm staying 1.00

01:55:45.140 in the car 1.00

01:55:45.760 you know what I'm

01:55:46.340 saying

01:55:46.500 like

01:55:46.820 way too much

01:55:47.780 aspartame

01:55:48.200 yeah

01:55:48.360 that's what it

01:55:49.340 is dude

01:55:49.840 it's like

01:55:50.420 I look like a 1.00

01:55:50.960 damn teddy bear 1.00

01:55:51.820 or something 1.00

01:55:52.160 you know

01:55:52.500 because also

01:55:53.260 my body style

01:55:54.000 my god given

01:55:54.700 body style

01:55:55.420 is uh

01:55:56.020 I'm built

01:55:56.320 kind of like

01:55:56.640 a gingerbread

01:55:57.400 cookie a little

01:55:58.060 bit you know

01:55:58.640 like I'm sturdy

01:55:59.700 bring up a good

01:56:00.440 g bread on me

01:56:01.400 daddy

01:56:01.760 it's seasonal

01:56:02.800 anyway

01:56:03.120 I bet you can

01:56:03.820 throw

01:56:04.140 you know what

01:56:05.220 I can survive

01:56:06.140 dude

01:56:06.420 I'll do okay

01:56:07.300 put me

01:56:08.040 give me a couple

01:56:08.580 weeks of uh

01:56:09.420 of uh

01:56:10.600 that's how I'm

01:56:11.920 built right there

01:56:12.520 yeah

01:56:13.120 now sturdy

01:56:13.760 I got a sturdy

01:56:14.380 base on me

01:56:15.220 yeah

01:56:15.620 do your legs

01:56:16.200 look like that

01:56:16.900 well I think

01:56:17.720 bow legged

01:56:18.600 like that

01:56:19.060 no

01:56:19.320 this one

01:56:20.400 this one had

01:56:21.100 a bad uh

01:56:22.200 this one might have

01:56:23.040 been in a bad

01:56:23.740 oven but

01:56:24.280 yeah

01:56:24.640 I got a little

01:56:27.000 bit more frosting

01:56:27.700 on me than that

01:56:28.280 one but

01:56:28.620 uh

01:56:29.420 yes anyway

01:56:30.320 maybe the one

01:56:31.580 they don't really

01:56:32.880 make a perfect

01:56:33.520 cookie dude

01:56:34.080 but

01:56:34.300 we should

01:56:35.860 do you know

01:56:36.400 what would be

01:56:36.680 interesting

01:56:37.140 what if we made

01:56:38.400 cookies

01:56:39.520 of like people

01:56:40.860 that have been

01:56:41.180 on this show

01:56:41.820 and we sold

01:56:42.340 it was like a

01:56:42.800 fun like

01:56:43.280 we could do

01:56:43.860 part of it

01:56:44.160 as like a

01:56:44.460 fundraiser or

01:56:45.060 something

01:56:45.240 for moms

01:56:45.820 or something

01:56:46.340 um

01:56:47.120 that's good

01:56:47.320 we eat each

01:56:47.940 other's cookies

01:56:48.560 and you just

01:56:49.040 get a batch

01:56:49.600 of them or

01:56:49.960 something

01:56:50.160 yeah

01:56:50.460 you can get

01:56:50.800 a batch

01:56:51.220 of the

01:56:51.420 Stephen Wilson

01:56:51.960 like they can 0.96

01:56:52.740 bite my head 1.00

01:56:53.280 off 0.99

01:56:53.560 I love that

01:56:55.140 if you're

01:56:56.380 angry at your

01:56:57.000 husband

01:56:57.340 you just get

01:56:58.140 you a batch

01:56:58.540 of Stephen

01:56:59.100 Wilsons

01:56:59.640 and chew

01:57:00.500 his head 1.00

01:57:00.940 off

01:57:01.240 um

01:57:02.140 so that's

01:57:03.020 pretty crazy

01:57:03.460 so Brandon

01:57:03.960 Jenkins met

01:57:04.480 you out

01:57:04.720 there

01:57:05.040 and Forrest

01:57:06.200 Griffin met

01:57:06.620 you out

01:57:06.840 there

01:57:07.040 yeah

01:57:07.260 and they

01:57:08.060 gave me a

01:57:08.460 tour of the

01:57:08.860 whole facility

01:57:09.620 oh man

01:57:11.080 it was like

01:57:11.580 um

01:57:11.900 I was a kid

01:57:12.760 at a candy

01:57:13.280 shop

01:57:13.540 did they

01:57:13.840 take you

01:57:14.260 through like

01:57:14.680 not just

01:57:15.080 the gym

01:57:15.440 part but

01:57:15.820 also the

01:57:16.380 UFC

01:57:16.760 building

01:57:17.100 and stuff

01:57:17.480 yeah

01:57:17.820 yeah I

01:57:18.360 got to go

01:57:18.720 into like

01:57:19.080 the lunch

01:57:19.540 room

01:57:19.980 and everything

01:57:20.440 yeah dude

01:57:20.860 it's nice

01:57:21.540 yeah I was

01:57:21.980 like this

01:57:22.280 is so nice

01:57:23.400 and yeah

01:57:24.080 like you

01:57:25.040 don't

01:57:25.380 this is like

01:57:25.860 the most

01:57:26.180 dangerous

01:57:26.860 lunch room

01:57:27.540 you'll ever

01:57:29.640 like everybody

01:57:31.500 was so nice

01:57:32.300 and so friendly

01:57:33.220 but it was

01:57:33.620 like you'll

01:57:34.460 never walk

01:57:34.880 into a

01:57:35.260 cafeteria

01:57:35.640 that could 0.68

01:57:36.580 hurt you 0.59

01:57:36.960 so bad

01:57:37.440 yeah

01:57:37.700 oh even

01:57:38.280 the line

01:57:38.740 cooks will

01:57:39.100 have like

01:57:39.360 cauliflower

01:57:39.800 he's like

01:57:40.160 you want

01:57:40.340 cauliflower

01:57:40.760 and you're

01:57:41.020 like oh

01:57:41.440 I'm good

01:57:42.240 I'm mad

01:57:42.660 how about

01:57:43.220 the broccoli

01:57:43.680 yeah

01:57:44.360 yeah dude

01:57:45.240 even like

01:57:46.200 yeah I think

01:57:46.740 like the head

01:57:47.220 chef in there

01:57:47.780 last week

01:57:48.140 was like

01:57:48.380 Brandon Roy

01:57:48.920 Vallis

01:57:49.300 I'm like

01:57:49.560 they got

01:57:50.020 some gangsters

01:57:50.960 in here

01:57:51.280 I'm being

01:57:52.060 careful what I

01:57:52.740 asked for

01:57:53.140 in here

01:57:53.540 yeah

01:57:54.020 oh that's

01:57:54.640 hilarious

01:57:55.000 dude

01:57:55.200 meta buried 0.55

01:57:55.920 casual evidence

01:57:56.840 of social media

01:57:57.860 harm

01:57:58.560 US court

01:57:59.860 filings

01:58:00.280 allege

01:58:00.800 oh yeah

01:58:01.240 this was it

01:58:01.820 this was about

01:58:02.400 information

01:58:02.820 meta shut down

01:58:04.580 internal research

01:58:05.480 into the mental

01:58:06.300 health effects

01:58:06.900 of Facebook

01:58:07.380 after finding

01:58:08.100 causal evidence

01:58:09.360 that its products

01:58:10.100 harmed users

01:58:10.760 mental health

01:58:11.380 according to

01:58:12.180 unredacted filings

01:58:13.080 in a lawsuit

01:58:13.540 by US school

01:58:14.240 districts

01:58:14.580 against meta

01:58:15.160 and other

01:58:15.580 social media

01:58:16.040 platforms

01:58:16.540 so would that

01:58:19.120 be information

01:58:19.960 bias

01:58:20.480 internal research

01:58:21.940 in the middle

01:58:22.360 of

01:58:22.640 in a 2020

01:58:23.720 research project

01:58:24.660 codenamed

01:58:25.100 Project Mercury

01:58:26.060 scientists

01:58:27.320 worked with

01:58:27.900 survey film

01:58:28.700 survey firm

01:58:30.100 Nielsen

01:58:30.580 to gauge

01:58:31.200 the effects

01:58:31.640 of deactivating

01:58:32.680 Facebook

01:58:33.120 according to

01:58:34.060 meta documents

01:58:34.640 obtained via

01:58:35.280 discovery

01:58:35.700 to the company's

01:58:36.620 disappointment

01:58:37.080 people who

01:58:37.880 stopped using

01:58:38.480 Facebook for a

01:58:39.220 week reported

01:58:39.780 lower feelings

01:58:40.520 of depression

01:58:41.240 anxiety

01:58:42.300 loneliness

01:58:42.920 and social

01:58:43.800 comparison

01:58:44.500 yeah

01:58:45.180 rather than

01:58:45.920 publishing

01:58:46.320 those findings

01:58:46.880 or pursuing

01:58:47.380 additional research

01:58:48.340 the filing states

01:58:49.080 meta called off

01:58:50.140 further work

01:58:50.780 and internally

01:58:51.440 declared

01:58:52.020 that the negative

01:58:52.880 study findings

01:58:53.440 were tainted

01:58:54.020 by the existing

01:58:55.220 media narrative

01:58:56.200 around the

01:58:57.380 company

01:58:57.780 privately

01:58:58.720 however

01:58:59.140 a staffer

01:58:59.800 insisted

01:59:00.200 the conclusions

01:59:00.800 of the research

01:59:01.300 were valid

01:59:01.800 according to

01:59:02.460 the filing

01:59:03.040 is that

01:59:03.900 user bias

01:59:04.720 I would

01:59:05.860 I'd say

01:59:06.800 it definitely

01:59:07.320 could be

01:59:07.860 user bias

01:59:08.500 but I would

01:59:09.440 actually have

01:59:10.140 to see

01:59:10.480 the research

01:59:11.340 there's so

01:59:12.200 many other

01:59:12.860 variables

01:59:13.800 like you

01:59:14.420 want to know

01:59:14.980 how many

01:59:15.660 participants

01:59:16.300 were involved

01:59:17.540 like what's

01:59:17.980 your statistical

01:59:18.820 N

01:59:19.380 meaning like

01:59:21.180 how many

01:59:21.620 participants

01:59:22.280 were there

01:59:22.840 therefore

01:59:23.320 you know

01:59:24.240 your bell

01:59:24.680 curve

01:59:24.960 is going

01:59:25.260 to be

01:59:25.580 a lot

01:59:26.020 more

01:59:26.380 I guess

01:59:27.420 a lot

01:59:28.300 more

01:59:28.500 valid

01:59:28.860 you're going

01:59:29.220 to have

01:59:29.480 more

01:59:29.860 statistical

01:59:30.480 significance

01:59:31.420 the higher

01:59:32.760 number of

01:59:33.620 participants

01:59:34.120 are involved

01:59:35.100 in the research

01:59:35.940 for all we know

01:59:36.860 there's 20

01:59:37.480 people that

01:59:38.080 they did

01:59:38.440 research on

01:59:39.300 on Facebook

01:59:40.020 right

01:59:40.420 but if they

01:59:40.820 said like

01:59:41.300 no we

01:59:41.900 did research

01:59:42.640 on 200,000

01:59:43.820 people

01:59:44.340 okay now

01:59:45.180 you got

01:59:45.580 statistical

01:59:46.440 validity

01:59:46.940 but I need

01:59:47.340 to see

01:59:47.600 this research

01:59:48.240 paper

01:59:48.600 because one

01:59:49.540 person's

01:59:50.040 saying that

01:59:50.580 there's user

01:59:51.200 bias

01:59:51.580 and then there's

01:59:52.160 another person

01:59:52.820 saying no

01:59:53.300 the results

01:59:53.820 are actually

01:59:54.400 scientifically

01:59:55.040 valid

01:59:55.660 so that

01:59:56.960 person may

01:59:57.620 actually have

01:59:58.220 bias because

01:59:58.880 they're like

01:59:59.320 emotionally attached

02:00:00.240 to all the

02:00:00.580 research they

02:00:01.200 did

02:00:01.460 who knows

02:00:01.840 this could be

02:00:03.400 like a user

02:00:04.280 bias on top

02:00:05.140 of user

02:00:05.540 bias

02:00:05.960 a user

02:00:06.360 bias

02:00:06.680 sandwich

02:00:07.140 yeah

02:00:07.560 oh

02:00:08.640 bias

02:00:09.460 the sandwich

02:00:09.980 user bias

02:00:10.680 it's the

02:00:11.060 new bond

02:00:11.520 me dude

02:00:12.080 bring it back

02:00:13.340 up I want to

02:00:13.700 see a little

02:00:14.060 bit more

02:00:14.420 information

02:00:14.880 let me see

02:00:15.420 if it tells

02:00:15.880 us

02:00:16.200 because it

02:00:17.560 is interesting

02:00:18.040 to think

02:00:18.400 though that

02:00:18.840 I noticed

02:00:19.260 after only a

02:00:20.020 week people

02:00:20.600 were getting

02:00:20.940 better

02:00:21.240 this is

02:00:21.900 allegedly

02:00:22.220 the full

02:00:22.780 record will

02:00:23.200 show that

02:00:23.500 for over a

02:00:23.820 decade we

02:00:24.200 have listened

02:00:24.680 to parents

02:00:25.160 research issues

02:00:25.840 that matter

02:00:26.180 most and

02:00:27.000 made real

02:00:27.400 changes to

02:00:27.900 protect teens

02:00:28.760 go further

02:00:29.760 see

02:00:30.140 okay the

02:00:32.500 allegation of

02:00:33.080 meta burying

02:00:33.640 evidence on

02:00:34.100 social media

02:00:34.520 harms is just

02:00:35.340 one of the

02:00:36.260 many in late

02:00:37.000 Friday filing by

02:00:39.020 Motley Rice

02:00:39.720 a law firm

02:00:40.960 suing meta

02:00:41.500 Google

02:00:41.840 TikTok

02:00:42.240 and Snapchat

02:00:42.960 on behalf

02:00:43.440 of school

02:00:43.800 districts

02:00:44.180 around the

02:00:44.760 country

02:00:45.140 wonder if we

02:00:45.860 get in touch

02:00:46.360 with them

02:00:46.640 that sounds

02:00:46.960 like kind

02:00:47.180 of an

02:00:47.380 interesting

02:00:47.720 lawsuit

02:00:48.140 doesn't it

02:00:48.700 just to

02:00:49.440 see like

02:00:49.780 what are

02:00:50.060 they

02:00:50.180 learning

02:00:50.520 and what

02:00:50.880 information

02:00:51.420 have they

02:00:51.980 learned

02:00:52.340 broadly

02:00:53.140 the

02:00:53.380 plaintiffs

02:00:53.720 argue

02:00:54.040 the companies

02:00:54.500 have

02:00:54.660 intentionally

02:00:55.160 hidden

02:00:55.480 the

02:00:55.620 internally

02:00:56.020 recognized

02:00:56.940 risks

02:00:57.380 of their

02:00:57.760 products

02:00:58.100 from users

02:00:58.800 parents

02:00:59.180 and teachers

02:00:59.900 I want to

02:01:00.740 see the

02:01:01.000 research

02:01:01.520 and I want

02:01:01.980 to see

02:01:02.380 if they

02:01:03.360 conducted

02:01:03.840 it or if

02:01:04.400 it was

02:01:04.760 conducted

02:01:05.200 by a

02:01:05.660 second

02:01:05.900 party

02:01:06.280 or third

02:01:06.640 party

02:01:06.960 that's

02:01:08.420 going to

02:01:08.640 be a

02:01:09.280 huge

02:01:09.640 part

02:01:10.020 of it

02:01:10.360 and

02:01:11.140 I mean

02:01:12.040 Australia

02:01:12.500 just recently

02:01:13.280 did a

02:01:13.800 social media

02:01:14.360 ban

02:01:14.760 I saw

02:01:15.160 that

02:01:15.340 kids

02:01:15.680 under

02:01:16.040 ages

02:01:16.580 16

02:01:17.340 I believe

02:01:18.040 why is

02:01:18.900 the Australian

02:01:19.220 government

02:01:19.540 banning

02:01:19.900 social media

02:01:20.320 for under

02:01:20.680 16s

02:01:21.380 the government

02:01:22.100 says it

02:01:22.460 will reduce

02:01:22.900 the negative

02:01:23.320 impact of

02:01:23.760 social media

02:01:24.200 design features

02:01:25.260 that encourage

02:01:25.980 young people

02:01:26.980 to spend

02:01:27.360 more time

02:01:28.020 on screens

02:01:29.060 10 platforms

02:01:31.000 are currently

02:01:31.500 included in

02:01:32.420 the ban

02:01:32.720 Facebook

02:01:33.300 Instagram

02:01:33.880 Snapchat

02:01:34.420 threads

02:01:35.120 TikTok

02:01:35.540 X

02:01:36.020 YouTube

02:01:36.380 Reddit

02:01:36.640 and streaming

02:01:37.100 platforms

02:01:37.500 like

02:01:37.680 Kik

02:01:37.900 and

02:01:38.400 Twitch

02:01:38.720 a study

02:01:39.600 it commissioned

02:01:40.140 earlier in

02:01:40.620 2025

02:01:41.040 found that

02:01:41.640 96%

02:01:42.560 of children

02:01:42.980 aged 10

02:01:43.620 to 15

02:01:44.480 use social

02:01:45.520 media

02:01:45.800 and that

02:01:46.400 7 out of

02:01:46.880 10 of them

02:01:47.220 have been

02:01:47.700 exposed to

02:01:48.240 harmful content

02:01:49.120 this includes

02:01:49.960 misogynistic

02:01:50.640 and violent

02:01:51.180 material as

02:01:51.660 well as

02:01:51.900 content

02:01:52.220 promoting

02:01:52.600 eating

02:01:52.920 disorders

02:01:53.540 and suicide

02:01:54.520 1 in 7

02:01:57.460 also reported

02:01:58.140 experiencing

02:01:58.580 grooming type

02:01:59.500 behavior from

02:02:00.040 adults or other

02:02:00.660 children and

02:02:01.500 more than half

02:02:02.000 said they've

02:02:02.300 been the victim

02:02:02.720 of cyber

02:02:03.140 bullying 0.99

02:02:03.500 shit I'm 1.00

02:02:06.260 not even a 1.00

02:02:06.660 child and

02:02:07.120 all that's

02:02:07.540 happened to

02:02:07.840 me on

02:02:08.120 there

02:02:08.340 I'm a 0.99

02:02:09.460 damn 0.99

02:02:09.660 adult 1.00

02:02:10.000 and some

02:02:10.240 of that 1.00

02:02:10.420 shit hurts 1.00

02:02:11.040 how will it 0.99

02:02:13.660 work or when

02:02:14.140 they're imposing

02:02:14.640 it I just want

02:02:15.160 to get that

02:02:15.480 information out

02:02:16.160 in this

02:02:16.580 dude go back

02:02:18.880 up it takes

02:02:19.380 meta about an

02:02:20.160 hour and 52

02:02:21.100 minutes to

02:02:21.840 make a to

02:02:22.540 make 50

02:02:23.400 million dollars

02:02:24.780 in revenue

02:02:25.340 that's Australian

02:02:26.060 revenue

02:02:26.460 that's crazy

02:02:28.660 wow

02:02:29.460 Australia's

02:02:31.320 social media

02:02:31.680 ban for

02:02:32.040 children under

02:02:32.580 16 officially

02:02:33.220 started on

02:02:33.580 December 10th

02:02:34.880 so they're

02:02:35.880 in it

02:02:36.360 if you're an

02:02:37.680 Australian kid 1.00

02:02:38.580 shit I don't 1.00

02:02:39.820 think this is 0.99

02:02:40.140 illegal to have

02:02:40.560 kids call

02:02:41.060 but call and

02:02:42.820 tell me honestly

02:02:43.420 what do you

02:02:43.740 think do you

02:02:44.200 think it's

02:02:44.500 good are you

02:02:44.900 pissed about it

02:02:45.460 what are the

02:02:45.800 feelings right

02:02:46.320 now hit me

02:02:47.520 with a couple 0.99

02:02:47.980 hit the hotline

02:02:48.860 985-664-9503

02:02:50.920 and just let

02:02:51.360 drop and don't

02:02:53.200 be some fake 0.98

02:02:54.060 weirdo pretending 0.99

02:02:55.240 with an Australian 0.98

02:02:56.000 accent who's 1.00

02:02:57.440 obviously a pervert 0.99

02:02:58.380 or whatever we

02:02:59.420 want we want

02:03:00.480 real kids to

02:03:01.420 call in okay

02:03:02.180 no I mean

02:03:03.180 Australia when

02:03:04.200 it comes to

02:03:04.660 science and

02:03:05.220 research they

02:03:05.880 they are very

02:03:06.960 thorough I went

02:03:07.560 to school there

02:03:08.200 for a year I

02:03:09.060 did I did my

02:03:10.000 junior year and

02:03:10.920 like they have

02:03:11.760 like I went

02:03:12.340 there for their

02:03:13.320 science programs

02:03:14.340 their research

02:03:14.940 programs are some

02:03:15.780 of the best in

02:03:16.340 the world so

02:03:16.920 they've actually

02:03:17.520 done proper

02:03:18.160 research to

02:03:18.820 back this up

02:03:19.460 I believe that

02:03:21.020 it's probably

02:03:21.660 valid science

02:03:22.920 and was that

02:03:23.820 in Sydney

02:03:24.240 it was in

02:03:25.080 Brisbane

02:03:25.380 oh yeah

02:03:26.460 got out

02:03:26.800 Brizzy

02:03:27.280 and uh

02:03:28.500 yeah

02:03:28.900 dude the

02:03:29.560 Brisbane Lions

02:03:30.220 dude

02:03:30.600 yeah

02:03:31.080 my AFL squad

02:03:32.580 no way

02:03:33.320 yeah

02:03:33.980 I love the

02:03:34.560 Lions

02:03:34.960 dude the

02:03:35.360 Brisbane Lions

02:03:35.800 bring them up

02:03:36.300 and the

02:03:36.540 Wallabies 0.74

02:03:37.080 oh yeah

02:03:38.380 the Brizzy Lions

02:03:39.280 dude 0.99

02:03:39.460 fucking legends 1.00

02:03:40.440 dude 1.00

02:03:40.900 bring up

02:03:41.680 Mitch

02:03:42.120 there he is

02:03:44.160 boys

02:03:44.560 class

02:03:46.320 yeah

02:03:47.020 dude yeah

02:03:49.140 I love the

02:03:49.500 Brisbane Lions

02:03:50.000 dude I went

02:03:50.400 over there

02:03:50.620 one night with

02:03:51.060 Mitch had a

02:03:51.480 good time

02:03:51.980 I love

02:03:52.720 Australia

02:03:53.120 brother

02:03:53.360 it's great

02:03:54.200 yeah I miss

02:03:55.200 it

02:03:55.420 I'm gonna go

02:03:56.000 back some

02:03:56.540 hopefully next

02:03:57.360 year

02:03:57.680 um

02:03:58.720 did you find

02:03:59.820 are you married

02:04:00.340 yes

02:04:01.020 okay

02:04:01.620 yeah

02:04:02.120 is there a

02:04:03.100 Stephen Wilson

02:04:03.520 the third

02:04:04.000 no there isn't

02:04:05.420 no

02:04:05.760 there isn't

02:04:06.260 no I don't

02:04:06.900 have any

02:04:07.340 uh biological

02:04:08.420 children I have a

02:04:09.200 stepson named

02:04:09.820 Henry

02:04:10.160 okay

02:04:10.540 I've uh

02:04:12.060 been helping

02:04:12.920 raise since

02:04:14.380 he was about

02:04:15.080 four years

02:04:15.740 old

02:04:16.060 and uh

02:04:16.680 oh nice

02:04:17.400 he's my

02:04:17.960 boy and

02:04:18.500 um

02:04:19.480 yeah

02:04:20.460 pretty cool

02:04:21.080 kid

02:04:21.320 incredibly cool

02:04:22.580 kid he's such

02:04:23.260 a great kid

02:04:23.840 I'm very

02:04:24.340 very blessed

02:04:25.740 um

02:04:26.260 what do you

02:04:26.520 admire about

02:04:27.100 him

02:04:27.300 um

02:04:28.680 he's well

02:04:29.520 he's so

02:04:30.420 different from

02:04:31.060 me in the

02:04:31.760 best ways

02:04:32.440 he's he's

02:04:33.100 very um

02:04:33.900 very intelligent

02:04:35.580 and very

02:04:36.540 collected

02:04:37.380 and calm

02:04:38.320 um

02:04:39.140 and very um

02:04:40.500 I I would

02:04:42.980 say he's

02:04:43.700 more ordered

02:04:44.360 than I am

02:04:45.540 um

02:04:46.320 in a lot

02:04:47.800 of ways

02:04:48.260 he's he's

02:04:48.900 got I

02:04:49.760 I think

02:04:50.340 this incredible

02:04:52.280 constitution

02:04:53.060 about him

02:04:54.040 and uh

02:04:54.780 he's he's got

02:04:55.400 a very calm

02:04:56.140 constitution

02:04:57.080 um

02:04:57.840 which is

02:04:58.220 not what I

02:04:59.180 grew up around

02:04:59.880 like I grew up

02:05:00.700 around a lot

02:05:01.780 of noise

02:05:02.520 and a lot

02:05:03.100 of chaos

02:05:03.700 and a lot

02:05:04.320 of energy

02:05:04.820 and uh

02:05:06.060 he is

02:05:06.580 he's like

02:05:07.380 um

02:05:07.740 he's like

02:05:09.000 a rock

02:05:09.700 in a raging

02:05:10.760 river

02:05:11.140 that will

02:05:11.760 not move

02:05:12.480 you know

02:05:13.160 and I just

02:05:13.680 I love that

02:05:14.400 about him

02:05:14.860 and he's

02:05:15.500 he's a

02:05:16.100 a very

02:05:17.040 strong

02:05:17.800 and smart 0.77

02:05:18.640 young man

02:05:19.360 very much

02:05:20.280 into

02:05:20.560 muay thai

02:05:21.280 kickboxing

02:05:21.860 and uh

02:05:22.520 we started

02:05:23.000 in boxing

02:05:23.680 and yeah

02:05:25.340 he's

02:05:25.900 he's my

02:05:26.340 dude

02:05:26.640 and my

02:05:27.100 dad was

02:05:27.600 a stepfather

02:05:29.000 not just a

02:05:29.600 father

02:05:29.900 he had

02:05:30.340 he remarried

02:05:31.440 after my

02:05:31.860 mother

02:05:32.140 and a

02:05:33.180 couple times

02:05:33.700 he didn't

02:05:34.020 have the best

02:05:34.480 luck

02:05:34.700 with the

02:05:35.000 ladies 0.99

02:05:35.340 but uh

02:05:36.200 a couple

02:05:37.220 of his

02:05:37.540 wives

02:05:37.900 had

02:05:38.420 stepchildren

02:05:39.040 and um

02:05:40.000 and I

02:05:40.940 he really

02:05:41.480 taught me

02:05:41.900 how to be

02:05:42.340 a good

02:05:42.680 stepfather

02:05:43.340 I gotta say

02:05:44.080 well not by

02:05:44.500 teaching me

02:05:45.420 but just by

02:05:46.220 example

02:05:46.720 like his

02:05:47.620 faith was

02:05:48.260 led by his

02:05:48.920 works

02:05:49.300 not his

02:05:49.700 words

02:05:50.080 you know

02:05:50.360 what's one of

02:05:50.780 the toughest

02:05:51.000 things about

02:05:51.300 being a

02:05:51.580 stepfather

02:05:52.000 kind of

02:05:52.340 that people

02:05:52.660 don't really

02:05:53.080 see or

02:05:54.020 that they

02:05:54.580 may see

02:05:55.020 and you

02:05:55.240 may have

02:05:55.480 your own

02:05:56.000 that you

02:05:56.500 may have

02:05:56.720 some

02:05:56.900 specific

02:05:57.700 thoughts

02:05:58.060 about

02:05:58.380 um

02:05:59.360 well

02:06:00.420 I mean

02:06:00.980 I was

02:06:01.340 not just

02:06:01.760 a step

02:06:02.520 I'm not

02:06:03.640 just a

02:06:03.940 stepfather

02:06:04.380 I was

02:06:04.660 a step

02:06:04.960 child

02:06:05.440 so I

02:06:06.220 remember

02:06:06.560 the

02:06:07.100 perspective

02:06:07.620 as a

02:06:08.300 step

02:06:08.500 child

02:06:08.820 so I

02:06:09.180 go into

02:06:09.740 my

02:06:10.040 step

02:06:10.400 parenthood

02:06:10.960 as a

02:06:11.580 step

02:06:11.940 child

02:06:12.320 oh

02:06:12.780 okay

02:06:13.120 so I

02:06:13.940 have

02:06:14.140 something

02:06:14.520 that a

02:06:15.560 lot of

02:06:15.900 step

02:06:16.100 parents

02:06:16.440 don't

02:06:16.800 have

02:06:17.100 I

02:06:17.300 have

02:06:17.520 like

02:06:17.720 a

02:06:17.880 really

02:06:18.160 unique

02:06:18.560 perspective

02:06:19.120 of what

02:06:19.600 it

02:06:19.720 was

02:06:19.880 like

02:06:20.240 to

02:06:20.780 grow

02:06:21.020 up

02:06:21.240 with

02:06:21.820 step

02:06:22.120 parents

02:06:22.480 R&D

02:06:22.620 you've done

02:06:22.880 the R&D

02:06:23.260 yeah

02:06:23.440 I've done

02:06:23.720 the R&D

02:06:24.240 I've had

02:06:24.580 the

02:06:24.720 experience

02:06:25.120 I've had

02:06:25.480 multiple

02:06:25.960 step

02:06:26.320 parents

02:06:26.700 I didn't

02:06:27.020 just have

02:06:27.400 I didn't

02:06:28.100 just have

02:06:28.420 one set

02:06:29.060 I had

02:06:29.380 a trial

02:06:29.620 sample

02:06:29.980 I like

02:06:30.520 yeah

02:06:30.860 I had

02:06:31.180 a lot

02:06:31.920 of

02:06:32.100 variability

02:06:32.840 variables

02:06:33.420 yeah

02:06:33.720 okay

02:06:34.080 there we

02:06:34.360 got some

02:06:35.500 good data

02:06:36.040 there

02:06:36.400 and

02:06:37.200 one thing

02:06:38.860 I just

02:06:39.140 remember

02:06:39.600 and this

02:06:40.760 was never

02:06:41.160 a conversation

02:06:42.040 my dad

02:06:43.540 just loved

02:06:44.320 his step

02:06:46.060 children

02:06:46.380 like us

02:06:47.040 there was

02:06:47.380 never

02:06:47.620 like

02:06:47.960 I feel

02:06:49.060 like a

02:06:49.360 lot of

02:06:49.700 step

02:06:50.120 parents

02:06:50.700 if they

02:06:51.420 have

02:06:51.640 biological

02:06:52.120 children

02:06:52.680 and step

02:06:53.480 children

02:06:53.820 they will

02:06:54.300 be like

02:06:55.740 well I love

02:06:56.280 you just

02:06:56.760 like I

02:06:57.220 love him

02:06:57.760 and they'll

02:06:58.420 say that

02:06:59.040 he never

02:07:00.300 said that

02:07:00.840 that I

02:07:01.140 can remember

02:07:01.820 he just

02:07:02.780 did

02:07:03.260 that

02:07:04.180 that was

02:07:04.700 what his

02:07:05.420 that's the

02:07:06.760 lesson that I

02:07:07.620 learned is that

02:07:08.680 it has nothing

02:07:09.860 to do with

02:07:10.360 words

02:07:10.780 it has everything

02:07:11.320 to do with

02:07:11.920 your actions

02:07:12.580 and so I

02:07:14.200 really just

02:07:14.680 tried to

02:07:15.520 be the

02:07:17.580 best step

02:07:18.080 father

02:07:18.340 I can

02:07:18.760 not talk

02:07:19.380 about being

02:07:20.080 a step

02:07:20.500 father

02:07:20.740 I talk

02:07:21.320 about

02:07:21.660 anything

02:07:22.380 just be

02:07:23.540 just be

02:07:24.220 and

02:07:24.740 yeah I

02:07:25.700 think it's

02:07:26.000 I think

02:07:26.360 it's tough

02:07:26.760 it's like

02:07:27.340 sometimes it's

02:07:29.180 easier for me

02:07:29.560 to love a

02:07:29.960 stranger than

02:07:30.620 it is like

02:07:31.240 somebody close

02:07:32.460 to me I

02:07:32.860 feel like in a

02:07:33.400 weird way

02:07:33.820 yeah

02:07:34.060 yeah I mean

02:07:35.240 there's you

02:07:36.720 know familiarity

02:07:37.540 breeds contempt

02:07:38.940 that's an old

02:07:39.980 saying and you

02:07:41.180 know the more

02:07:41.580 familiar you

02:07:42.700 become with

02:07:43.260 somebody the

02:07:43.920 more contemptuous

02:07:44.880 you can

02:07:45.340 become

02:07:46.020 oh yes

02:07:46.920 naturally

02:07:47.460 yeah so

02:07:48.920 like a

02:07:49.300 stranger is

02:07:50.120 without

02:07:50.820 contempt

02:07:51.320 because there's

02:07:52.260 no familiarity

02:07:52.980 there and

02:07:54.040 you know that's

02:07:56.000 I guess the

02:07:56.660 kind of the

02:07:57.900 battle of love

02:07:58.980 because the more

02:07:59.700 you love somebody

02:08:00.660 the more familiar

02:08:01.420 you become with

02:08:02.680 them and

02:08:03.840 like I guess

02:08:05.220 that is

02:08:05.580 I know

02:08:06.080 like how do you

02:08:06.980 balance contempt

02:08:08.020 and love

02:08:08.840 because contempt

02:08:10.180 is gonna

02:08:10.740 kind of creep

02:08:11.600 its way in

02:08:12.220 or some

02:08:12.660 somehow

02:08:13.420 resentment

02:08:14.100 something

02:08:14.520 negative

02:08:15.780 will come in

02:08:16.540 there

02:08:16.820 the more

02:08:17.600 and more

02:08:17.920 you love

02:08:18.380 somebody

02:08:18.880 and you know

02:08:20.520 maybe that's

02:08:21.060 just you know

02:08:21.800 the darkness

02:08:22.300 balancing out

02:08:23.360 the light

02:08:23.820 but you know

02:08:25.180 I think just

02:08:26.120 acknowledging it

02:08:27.100 and knowing

02:08:27.560 that it's there

02:08:28.240 is really

02:08:29.140 the big part

02:08:29.820 of it

02:08:30.100 because like

02:08:30.540 the fear

02:08:31.920 or the

02:08:32.480 panic behind

02:08:33.740 it is the

02:08:34.140 lack of

02:08:34.540 understanding

02:08:35.140 behind it

02:08:35.960 really fear

02:08:37.020 is most of

02:08:37.680 the time

02:08:37.960 just the

02:08:38.280 lack of

02:08:38.680 understanding

02:08:39.280 and fear

02:08:41.580 sometimes they're

02:08:42.140 standing there

02:08:42.680 and you don't

02:08:43.020 it's like

02:08:43.440 if you really

02:08:43.920 looked at it

02:08:44.580 for a bit

02:08:45.080 but sometimes

02:08:47.200 I'll just

02:08:47.540 feel a fear

02:08:48.280 and react

02:08:49.080 I'll do that

02:08:49.820 for decades

02:08:50.700 without really

02:08:51.760 looking

02:08:51.920 what's going

02:08:52.420 on here

02:08:52.920 what's really

02:08:53.900 got me here

02:08:54.480 what am I

02:08:54.800 you know

02:08:55.260 and sometimes

02:08:56.220 just you can

02:08:56.900 figure it out

02:08:57.500 and you're

02:08:57.820 free of it

02:08:58.940 you know

02:08:59.660 you can at least

02:09:00.400 have a

02:09:00.680 see when it's

02:09:01.600 standing there

02:09:02.240 you know

02:09:02.900 but I'll let a 1.00

02:09:03.460 damn thing 0.99

02:09:03.780 Michael Myers 1.00

02:09:04.520 me out there

02:09:05.000 forever

02:09:05.380 and I won't

02:09:06.520 even go out

02:09:07.040 there and

02:09:07.280 realize

02:09:07.520 this is just 0.98

02:09:08.020 a damn 0.99

02:09:08.340 cardboard 1.00

02:09:08.800 cutout

02:09:09.380 of some 1.00

02:09:10.120 old bullshit 1.00

02:09:10.760 it's 1.00

02:09:11.540 not even 0.94

02:09:11.800 fucking 0.98

02:09:12.120 nothing's 0.99

02:09:12.740 even in

02:09:13.040 this costume

02:09:13.620 anymore

02:09:14.060 and I've

02:09:14.860 still been

02:09:15.380 acting

02:09:16.080 this way

02:09:16.940 because part

02:09:17.920 of me

02:09:18.320 I get

02:09:20.000 something out

02:09:20.460 of pretending

02:09:20.820 that that's

02:09:21.220 still real

02:09:21.720 too

02:09:22.020 I get an

02:09:23.220 excuse

02:09:23.660 you know

02:09:24.340 I get to

02:09:25.220 keep living

02:09:25.660 my life

02:09:26.080 a certain

02:09:26.460 way

02:09:26.860 when I

02:09:27.640 pretend

02:09:28.120 that that

02:09:29.180 old boogeyman

02:09:30.420 is still

02:09:31.360 new

02:09:31.740 you know

02:09:32.260 not saying

02:09:33.000 that that

02:09:33.280 happens a lot

02:09:33.840 but I'm just

02:09:34.240 saying that

02:09:34.640 that

02:09:34.960 that hasn't

02:09:36.880 not been

02:09:37.220 a part of

02:09:37.540 my story

02:09:37.920 at times

02:09:38.300 probably

02:09:38.640 and sometimes

02:09:38.980 I didn't

02:09:39.200 realize it

02:09:39.860 it's wild

02:09:41.260 what the

02:09:41.580 mind can

02:09:42.160 do

02:09:42.400 like my

02:09:43.740 dad took

02:09:44.600 me deer

02:09:44.980 hunting

02:09:45.240 and I

02:09:45.640 think that

02:09:46.000 was the

02:09:46.500 best thing

02:09:47.960 he could

02:09:48.300 have done

02:09:48.640 for me

02:09:49.020 it's just

02:09:49.760 the boxing

02:09:50.280 you know

02:09:51.080 you deal

02:09:52.600 with a lot

02:09:52.920 of fear

02:09:53.220 in boxing

02:09:53.760 because you

02:09:54.340 don't understand

02:09:54.960 certain things

02:09:55.640 but I remember

02:09:56.840 like you know

02:09:58.240 when you go

02:09:58.580 deer hunting

02:09:59.100 you go out

02:10:00.200 especially if you

02:10:01.320 morning hunt

02:10:02.480 you go out

02:10:03.740 about an hour

02:10:04.240 before sunrise

02:10:05.440 into a

02:10:06.260 pitch black

02:10:07.320 woods

02:10:07.760 and you'll

02:10:09.120 walk a quarter

02:10:09.840 mile into a

02:10:10.780 pitch black

02:10:11.320 woods

02:10:11.760 and my dad

02:10:12.980 would post me

02:10:13.540 up against a

02:10:14.120 tree

02:10:14.440 with a shotgun

02:10:16.240 in my hand

02:10:16.940 not even a tree

02:10:17.840 stand or anything

02:10:18.740 post me up

02:10:20.060 against a tree

02:10:20.600 and then he

02:10:21.040 would go off

02:10:21.680 about 500

02:10:22.500 yards of the

02:10:23.160 way

02:10:23.320 because he'd

02:10:23.700 have to be

02:10:24.020 far away

02:10:24.640 because I 0.85

02:10:25.000 could shoot 1.00

02:10:25.420 him or he 1.00

02:10:25.860 could shoot 1.00

02:10:26.220 me 1.00

02:10:26.460 like you

02:10:26.820 gotta be

02:10:27.500 you can't

02:10:28.520 be in range

02:10:29.260 of each

02:10:29.580 other's shot

02:10:30.340 because we're 0.96

02:10:31.060 shooting slugs 0.76

02:10:31.920 and um 0.96

02:10:33.240 but I just

02:10:34.160 remember like

02:10:34.780 okay getting

02:10:35.420 out there

02:10:35.960 an hour

02:10:36.620 before sunrise

02:10:37.740 it would be

02:10:38.240 pitch black

02:10:39.000 and he would

02:10:39.420 walk me out

02:10:40.080 to this tree

02:10:40.820 and you

02:10:41.680 couldn't see

02:10:42.120 nothing

02:10:42.580 like I remember

02:10:43.540 thinking like

02:10:44.140 he would walk

02:10:44.680 out here by

02:10:45.220 himself all the

02:10:45.960 time and I

02:10:46.460 was like man

02:10:47.020 that's crazy

02:10:47.620 and uh and he

02:10:49.060 would sit me up

02:10:49.640 against a tree

02:10:50.320 in the pitch

02:10:50.900 black and it 0.97

02:10:51.880 would just be

02:10:52.420 pitch black

02:10:53.220 and then he

02:10:53.740 would go off

02:10:54.520 into his tree

02:10:56.060 and I would be

02:10:57.380 there for at

02:10:58.060 least 45 minutes

02:10:59.420 in the darkest

02:11:00.800 woods you can

02:11:01.780 imagine

02:11:02.260 hearing everything

02:11:04.500 crackle and

02:11:06.500 move around

02:11:07.680 shuffle through

02:11:08.520 leaves

02:11:09.060 is that a

02:11:10.120 wild boar

02:11:11.180 is that

02:11:11.740 is that

02:11:12.200 you know

02:11:12.500 is that a 1.00

02:11:13.940 hooker 0.90

02:11:14.340 is that a 0.99

02:11:15.160 cougar

02:11:15.540 you'd hope it 1.00

02:11:16.960 was a hooker 1.00

02:11:17.440 but it never 0.98

02:11:17.960 was dude

02:11:18.440 it was like a

02:11:19.020 boar

02:11:19.540 or just a

02:11:20.680 squirrel

02:11:21.040 yeah or a

02:11:22.160 raccoon

02:11:22.760 like it had

02:11:23.220 gotten shoes

02:11:23.920 somewhere

02:11:24.380 like a

02:11:24.880 rabid raccoon

02:11:26.160 but no I just

02:11:28.080 remember then

02:11:28.660 then the the

02:11:30.120 sun would

02:11:30.600 slowly start to

02:11:31.520 come up and

02:11:32.080 the light

02:11:32.600 you would start

02:11:33.940 to understand

02:11:34.780 the woods that

02:11:35.700 you didn't have

02:11:36.440 understanding of

02:11:37.340 like 45 minutes

02:11:38.380 ago and you'd

02:11:39.860 start to see it

02:11:40.900 and then it was

02:11:41.740 like okay it

02:11:42.360 become literally

02:11:43.320 as the more and

02:11:44.060 more light crept

02:11:44.800 into the woods

02:11:45.380 the more

02:11:46.080 understanding you

02:11:47.080 you got of

02:11:47.860 the woods and

02:11:48.440 what it looked

02:11:48.940 like what it

02:11:49.900 was made of

02:11:50.520 what kind of

02:11:50.980 trees what kind

02:11:51.680 of animals that

02:11:52.780 were making all

02:11:53.440 these sounds and

02:11:54.140 by you know by

02:11:55.320 the time the sun

02:11:56.020 was up there was

02:11:57.220 nothing in that

02:11:58.120 woods that was

02:11:58.700 scaring you

02:11:59.360 anymore so it

02:12:00.220 was really you

02:12:01.040 know your fear

02:12:01.660 was what you

02:12:02.940 didn't understand

02:12:03.780 and what you

02:12:04.440 couldn't see the

02:12:05.100 woods did not

02:12:05.800 change in the

02:12:06.960 presence of

02:12:07.620 light the lack

02:12:09.240 thereof it was

02:12:10.220 the exact same

02:12:11.160 woods that it

02:12:11.980 was 45 minutes

02:12:13.060 ago because the

02:12:14.440 squirrels don't

02:12:15.240 care about dark

02:12:16.680 and light you

02:12:17.360 know they just

02:12:17.820 they live you

02:12:19.600 know oh yeah

02:12:20.200 they're always up 1.00

02:12:20.820 to some bullshit 1.00

02:12:21.540 or whatever 1.00

02:12:21.940 yeah they ain't

02:12:22.840 afraid of the

02:12:25.100 dark yeah

02:12:26.260 they ain't afraid

02:12:27.420 of other men

02:12:28.240 either apparently

02:12:29.020 some of these

02:12:29.660 young bucks I've

02:12:30.700 seen a lot of

02:12:31.400 squirrels gerbils

02:12:32.280 gosh oh you

02:12:33.640 catch me a little 0.99

02:12:34.200 craziest richard 0.77

02:12:35.780 gear baby oh

02:12:37.060 those are the

02:12:38.640 old days dude

02:12:39.380 remember how there

02:12:39.920 was crazy rumors

02:12:40.740 yeah I know we

02:12:41.520 were just talking

02:12:42.080 about that like

02:12:42.520 richard gear's 0.99

02:12:43.280 gay used to put 1.00

02:12:43.920 squirrels up his 1.00

02:12:44.420 butt or whatever 0.99

02:12:44.780 and people like

02:12:45.220 what but somehow

02:12:46.740 that made it around

02:12:48.120 society now I

02:12:50.040 know yeah I don't

02:12:50.920 know yeah that was

02:12:52.220 that made it to my

02:12:53.240 tiny little small

02:12:54.380 town in southern

02:12:55.520 Indiana we were

02:12:56.420 just like what

02:12:57.060 are we talking

02:12:57.840 about I guess

02:12:58.540 maybe that is the

02:12:59.680 downside of social

02:13:01.360 media is that 1.00

02:13:02.000 those old bullshit 1.00

02:13:03.460 rumors don't come 1.00

02:13:04.460 up anymore because

02:13:05.140 someone would

02:13:05.580 eventually they 0.98

02:13:06.220 would shoot him

02:13:06.680 down immediately 0.85

02:13:07.460 it would it'd be

02:13:08.720 all over tiktok in

02:13:09.760 a day and then

02:13:10.480 someone would be

02:13:11.000 like yeah

02:13:11.880 someone would be

02:13:12.520 like this is a 1.00

02:13:13.040 bunch of bullshit 1.00

02:13:13.800 yeah and then be 1.00

02:13:14.840 like you used to

02:13:15.400 be able to lie to

02:13:16.020 people yeah my

02:13:16.980 dad's a skydiver

02:13:18.020 yeah like oh he'll

02:13:20.320 be home any minute

02:13:21.120 lie to people all the

02:13:23.640 time you'd be like

02:13:24.560 I'm a lawyer they'd be

02:13:25.320 like you're in

02:13:25.680 seventh grade what

02:13:26.400 are you talking

02:13:26.800 about you're like

02:13:27.440 yeah whatever

02:13:28.080 the defense rests

02:13:29.580 Doogie Howser you

02:13:30.560 heard of it

02:13:31.200 Doogie Howser was

02:13:31.800 good huh that

02:13:32.480 show you could

02:13:32.980 become a doctor at

02:13:33.960 like age 12 yeah

02:13:35.600 like man the world

02:13:36.620 was wild they just

02:13:37.780 did whatever they

02:13:39.960 want to in the 90s

02:13:41.380 Richard Gere

02:13:42.500 gerbils children 0.99

02:13:44.400 doctors Doogie

02:13:45.340 Howser to be young 0.96

02:13:47.200 huh yeah saved by

02:13:48.440 the bell oh I saw

02:13:50.340 I was at the UFC

02:13:50.840 fights the other day

02:13:51.400 and I saw Mario

02:13:53.980 Lopez oh wow

02:13:55.020 crazy every time I

02:13:55.820 see him he looks

02:13:56.560 younger than when he

02:13:57.260 was working on

02:13:58.780 he's got like his

02:13:59.520 mullet back he's just 0.99

02:14:00.880 walking through

02:14:01.480 like what grade he

02:14:02.800 is he's like in

02:14:03.520 seventh eighth grade

02:14:04.720 now still wearing like

02:14:05.480 those leotards and

02:14:06.580 stuff the unitards

02:14:07.540 yeah the unitards

02:14:08.340 yeah bro he looks

02:14:09.240 even better than that

02:14:10.000 now I don't even know

02:14:10.440 what happened

02:14:10.860 incredible yeah he was

02:14:12.440 like yeah he's every

02:14:13.900 ethnicity too looks like

02:14:15.040 he's still captain of the

02:14:16.080 wrestling team oh dude

02:14:17.820 dude oh god yeah oh

02:14:19.620 geez sorry but yeah

02:14:21.100 guy looks healthy

02:14:21.820 what I'm saying is

02:14:22.740 this whatever dude I

02:14:23.800 like women but what 1.00

02:14:24.860 I'm what I'm telling

02:14:25.900 you is um will you

02:14:29.780 have will you have a

02:14:30.560 kids you're on your

02:14:31.280 thing um I don't know

02:14:33.460 I'm I'm pretty good I

02:14:34.880 think you know we've

02:14:35.880 talked about it um

02:14:37.340 we've also talked about

02:14:38.160 adopting kids but but

02:14:39.980 you know I don't know

02:14:41.240 I've um I got a lot

02:14:43.140 going on right now I

02:14:44.360 got Henry I've I've

02:14:45.660 raised I mean I know

02:14:46.580 what it's like to raise

02:14:47.760 a child I know what

02:14:49.480 it's like to love a

02:14:50.720 child I know what it's

02:14:52.240 like for a child to

02:14:53.220 love me I'm not

02:14:53.920 missing anything got

02:14:55.020 it um so um but you

02:14:58.540 never know you know

02:14:59.340 you never know think you

02:15:00.160 know that we we could

02:15:01.380 have a child um but

02:15:03.760 right now my life is

02:15:04.980 very very busy and um

02:15:08.140 I think I have other

02:15:10.660 things that I'm supposed

02:15:11.760 to be doing right now

02:15:13.140 rather than raising a

02:15:15.380 baby at the at this

02:15:16.720 particular moment in my

02:15:17.920 life and um and I

02:15:20.240 have some I have a lot

02:15:21.220 of work to do right now

02:15:22.340 and uh maybe maybe a

02:15:24.260 child will be in the

02:15:24.960 future that's fair but

02:15:26.520 um but you asked about

02:15:29.300 nieces and nephews yes I

02:15:30.860 do um I have quite a

02:15:32.480 like all my siblings have

02:15:34.400 children and um yep I'm

02:15:37.020 wild uncle Stephen that

02:15:38.880 goes around the world

02:15:40.220 singing his songs they're

02:15:41.360 a little bit I'm sure

02:15:42.940 they're like what the

02:15:44.060 hell is this dude 0.84

02:15:44.900 because all my family 0.76

02:15:46.260 like are still in my

02:15:47.540 hometown they work on

02:15:48.640 cars and they're very

02:15:50.460 it's very much a small

02:15:51.680 town life and then my 0.99

02:15:54.040 weird ass does what he 0.99

02:15:55.880 does but they they love 1.00

02:15:57.140 it though oh I bet

02:15:57.800 they're so proud of you

02:15:58.500 it's cool oh yeah they

02:15:59.820 they I don't think they

02:16:01.260 know what to think about

02:16:02.340 any of it because they've

02:16:03.280 seen me kind of live

02:16:04.220 multiple lives in front of

02:16:05.660 them that's been one

02:16:06.500 wild thing to see because

02:16:08.560 my siblings had their

02:16:09.980 children very young just

02:16:11.220 like my my parents did

02:16:13.320 and so my niece a lot of

02:16:15.260 my nieces and nephews are

02:16:16.360 older now so that they

02:16:17.820 remember me when I was a

02:16:19.260 scientist and that's all

02:16:20.460 I was doing and then

02:16:21.680 they remember when I quit

02:16:23.100 my science job and I was

02:16:24.400 waiting tables and

02:16:25.380 bartending and just

02:16:27.320 trying to get a publishing

02:16:28.180 deal and then they

02:16:28.920 remember the guy that got

02:16:30.020 a publishing deal and was

02:16:30.980 writing songs for other

02:16:32.120 people and my dad

02:16:33.920 recording them on the big

02:16:35.040 phone and all that and

02:16:36.560 now there's this chapter so

02:16:38.560 they've kind of got to see

02:16:39.680 their uncle go through

02:16:40.880 multiple identities so if

02:16:43.260 anything I hope that it's

02:16:44.380 been you know helpful for

02:16:45.780 them to see that you're

02:16:47.580 not stuck in any

02:16:48.600 particular life like you

02:16:50.960 can live multiple lives you

02:16:52.460 can do all kinds of

02:16:53.660 things you know amen man

02:16:56.520 and I think it's important

02:16:57.940 for them to see that you

02:16:59.580 know you know life has

02:17:02.540 chapters it's not one

02:17:04.080 chapter you know and you

02:17:06.060 you're writing your own

02:17:07.300 book and you can make the

02:17:09.180 chapters as long as you

02:17:10.180 want but there are only so

02:17:11.900 many pages and uh amen

02:17:14.380 amen indeed well thank you

02:17:17.000 for helping us think about

02:17:17.900 stuff man and for giving us

02:17:19.300 some uh of your music over

02:17:20.580 the years dude I'd love to

02:17:21.380 get together and we could

02:17:22.040 talk again sometime I feel

02:17:23.020 like there's other avenues of

02:17:24.520 things we could talk about

02:17:25.500 yeah and sometimes I realize

02:17:27.000 it's better you know to just

02:17:28.420 get together and talk again

02:17:29.780 sometime yeah so that way we

02:17:31.360 could go down different roads

02:17:32.460 and think about other stuff I

02:17:34.140 think today it's been nice to

02:17:35.180 just talk about like yeah

02:17:37.060 relate like familiar

02:17:38.420 relationships and how some

02:17:40.420 things can influence you and

02:17:42.460 yeah what it's like living like

02:17:43.900 your father's dream out um we

02:17:47.440 never talked about the theory

02:17:48.220 of evolution but we can get to

02:17:49.100 that next time maybe yeah we

02:17:50.340 can I'll put a whole presentation

02:17:52.340 for you together well I'll do a

02:17:54.420 more R&D while you're gone I

02:17:55.580 think I might hit a petting zoo

02:17:57.240 or something while you're gone

02:17:58.140 and see if I can get a little

02:17:59.840 bit more come on research done

02:18:02.200 dude um well I gotta say I

02:18:03.840 probably owe you money because I

02:18:05.400 feel like I could have paid a

02:18:06.840 therapist a lot of money I've

02:18:08.460 never had therapy in my life but

02:18:10.040 really I probably do need it uh

02:18:12.240 haven't but you said something

02:18:13.560 that was so like insane earlier um

02:18:16.540 about the quiet part you know about

02:18:19.800 do you think um you know you were

02:18:23.540 quiet because you didn't want to

02:18:26.580 affect the world around you yeah I

02:18:29.340 think like I like I said that

02:18:30.880 that really rocked my world so to

02:18:34.160 speak I'll be thinking about that

02:18:35.420 for a long time um there's certain

02:18:37.860 things that we as songwriters say to

02:18:40.080 some sometimes that somebody and it

02:18:42.160 it kind of flips a switch or it makes

02:18:45.220 them think about something they've

02:18:46.560 thought about for a long time totally

02:18:48.680 differently and that that was a

02:18:51.380 paradigm shift and I thank you for it

02:18:53.260 so if anything I walked away with a

02:18:55.920 an incredible piece of knowledge

02:18:59.060 that I like I said I could have

02:19:00.480 could have never even found in

02:19:02.680 therapy and if I had it would have

02:19:04.580 cost a lot of money so thank you I

02:19:07.580 owe you one you're welcome man no

02:19:09.180 you've all you've already you've

02:19:10.560 paid me you paid in advance dude so

02:19:12.860 many times I've listened to your

02:19:13.940 songs in moments where I needed

02:19:15.020 something or to process something or

02:19:16.760 just to remember my father you know

02:19:18.640 like I like you know one thing about

02:19:20.780 my dad I remember he liked to whistle

02:19:22.220 and he had change in his pockets all

02:19:25.380 the time so if I hear change you don't

02:19:27.200 hear change in people's pockets

02:19:28.360 anymore they used to be a thing you

02:19:29.620 know like a older man enough change in

02:19:31.500 his keys in his pockets and now like a

02:19:33.700 lot of car doors are just auto entry and

02:19:35.780 it's hooked to your phone and people

02:19:37.720 don't have change anymore but that like

02:19:39.720 when I want to think about my dad I'll

02:19:41.140 like that's one of the first things I'll

02:19:42.340 lay there and think about is the sound

02:19:44.380 of change in somebody's pocket kind of

02:19:46.140 you know but um that was his song yeah

02:19:49.080 yeah that was his song that was like

02:19:51.280 my dad always whistled he always had a

02:19:52.760 song in his head he was always

02:19:54.320 whistling a song or humming a song or

02:19:56.600 singing a song he like he was a song

02:19:59.200 like you know he's either riding a song

02:20:01.180 wave or or just you know being a song

02:20:05.020 without being one yeah but you know like

02:20:07.780 you know but yeah there there was always

02:20:09.400 like a sound to him it sounds like your

02:20:11.700 dad had the same sound oh yeah he was a

02:20:14.420 joyous instrument but yeah if we think

02:20:16.620 of ourselves as a song it's like what

02:20:17.800 song am I when I go into the room with

02:20:19.460 people and you know and you can be

02:20:20.720 different songs sometimes you're a

02:20:21.800 separate song maybe when it's just you

02:20:22.920 by yourself or or your music's kind of

02:20:24.900 off and you're just sort of listening

02:20:26.120 but yeah it's like what kind of song do

02:20:27.760 I bring into the world you know and

02:20:29.940 then do I just play the same song over

02:20:31.300 and over again and maybe I do that

02:20:32.560 because I just it's therapeutic to

02:20:34.640 myself you know um yeah I don't know

02:20:37.940 it's but it's been fascinating man it's

02:20:40.140 been fascinating to be a fan of yours

02:20:41.540 it's been fascinating to um get to share

02:20:44.340 your music with other people I've done

02:20:45.560 that a bunch to connect with them thank

02:20:47.220 you you know tell my brother like hey

02:20:48.940 man I love this song you know and and

02:20:51.020 then he can call me back and like I'll

02:20:52.860 see why you like it you know and just

02:20:54.480 things like that that uh that can bring

02:20:57.000 people closer together so thank you so

02:20:58.400 much man thank you you shared this music

02:21:00.300 our music my music a lot on your show

02:21:03.140 and you've talked about it a lot I remember

02:21:04.900 and Lambert was in and we both loved you

02:21:06.660 and we've yeah well everybody loves to

02:21:08.180 talk about you behind your back Stephen

02:21:09.600 so I figured we would do it in front of

02:21:11.200 you well I'm grateful either way that

02:21:13.480 anybody is talking about this music and

02:21:15.560 you've you've been an early champion

02:21:18.060 oh well I don't know if that's true

02:21:20.800 but thank you dude and Evan Bartels is

02:21:22.980 another great guy if you're listening to

02:21:24.080 any of his music yeah god I mean there's

02:21:26.540 just some people that can just make me

02:21:28.020 feel something you know and uh so thank

02:21:31.460 you dude thank you for helping us feel

02:21:32.620 if would you honor us and play a song or

02:21:34.320 two before you leave let's do it let's

02:21:36.080 go all right let's do it let's play some

02:21:38.840 Gary let's do it man ladies and gentlemen

02:21:43.160 Stephen Wilson jr thank you sir

02:21:47.400 Gary these days been lying in his bed man

02:22:01.280 working on the same car going on a decade

02:22:06.920 scribbles on drum mount don't draw attention

02:22:12.680 I never really noticed but now that I mention it

02:22:19.680 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days born with a cigarette glued to their face

02:22:27.760 fixing about anything a hammer can't handle saving all the money cause a Gary don't gamble

02:22:33.800 ain't a lot of girls going by Debbie anymore but they got the same nicotine pouring out their pours 1.00

02:22:40.800 time leaves town but the minute hand stays

02:22:44.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days

02:22:50.800 Gary these days been worried about the bad news

02:23:00.800 there ain't a lot of boys

02:23:02.800 there ain't a lot of teenagers filling up the church pews

02:23:07.800 burning bush lights don't talk to his brother

02:23:13.800 the people even still say grace before supper

02:23:17.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days born with a cigarette glued to their face

02:23:22.800 fixing about anything a hammer can't handle saving all the money cause a Gary don't gamble

02:23:28.800 gamble ain't a lot of girls going by Debbie anymore but they got the same nicotine pouring out their pours 1.00

02:23:35.800 time leaves town but the minute hand stays

02:23:39.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days

02:23:45.800 there ain't a lot of boys named Gary these days 0.96

02:23:56.800 every now and then gets a damn thing running 0.96

02:23:59.800 takes it out for a spin for a sneak in there 0.98

02:24:00.800 takes it out for a spin for a sneak in there

02:24:04.800 I had a weird suspicion with the light out on the front porch

02:24:11.800 hard medication poured down where the drain pours

02:24:18.800 he holds his left arm while his parakeet prays

02:24:25.800 I had a weird suspicion with the light out on the front porch

02:24:33.800 hard medication poured down where the drain pours

02:24:37.800 he holds his left arm while his parakeet prays

02:24:44.800 has anybody seen much of Gary these days

02:24:52.800 has anybody seen much of Gary these days

02:24:59.800 has anybody seen much of Gary these days

02:25:03.800 No, no, no!

02:25:07.800 Gary

02:25:09.800 No, there ain't a lot of boys

02:25:12.800 ain't a lot of boys

02:25:13.800 ain't a lot of boys

02:25:14.800 ain't a lot of boys

02:25:15.800 there ain't

02:25:16.800 Gary

02:25:19.800 Gary

02:25:20.800 Yeah

02:25:23.380 Yeah

02:25:26.300 Yeah

02:25:26.800 Yeah

02:25:27.800 Yeah

02:25:28.800 Yeah

02:25:50.800 Why are you doing like that?

02:26:11.120 It's just fun, huh?

02:26:12.320 This is fun

02:26:12.820 It's almost like the door closes on it or something

02:26:15.320 It's like the, you know

02:26:17.260 Gary dies

02:26:18.480 And it's almost like the door closes on Gary

02:26:21.440 It's Gary said

02:26:23.160 It is, and there's not enough Garys out there

02:26:25.820 There's not

02:26:26.320 I mean, they're a Gary breed 1.00

02:26:27.420 Dude, well, they should have a

02:26:29.200 They should have a

02:26:31.420 A museum that has Gary's in it

02:26:34.440 I agree

02:26:35.220 You know, I always thought there would be a

02:26:37.120 A great idea

02:26:38.380 For a Gary Busey museum

02:26:40.780 Called the Gary Buseum

02:26:42.100 Ooh, I like that

02:26:43.480 Yeah

02:26:43.900 The museum, yeah

02:26:44.760 Yeah

02:26:45.060 He should have that

02:26:46.140 I think so

02:26:46.820 And you go in and it's just like

02:26:48.600 A bunch of point break memorabilia

02:26:50.860 Yeah

02:26:51.780 And like just

02:26:53.560 Buseys 0.98

02:26:54.160 Yeah, a lot of good Busey stuff

02:26:56.480 Yeah

02:26:56.820 He was in

02:26:57.560 Make it two

02:26:58.360 Yeah, a lot of movies

02:27:00.680 And some of his cameos even does now

02:27:02.400 Could be in there

02:27:03.040 Oh yeah

02:27:03.560 Yeah, he like breaks the fourth wall

02:27:05.120 I love that about him

02:27:06.240 He looks at the camera

02:27:07.600 You ever notice that?

02:27:09.520 Like in movies

02:27:10.100 Like he like looks at the camera

02:27:11.660 I don't know if I've noticed it as much

02:27:12.700 But now that you say it

02:27:13.800 He breaks the fourth wall

02:27:14.580 Of existence of being human

02:27:15.900 Yeah, he does

02:27:16.520 He shatters right through it

02:27:17.680 He speaks in acronyms

02:27:19.040 And uh

02:27:19.860 It reminds me of a rare name

02:27:21.520 Dude that I

02:27:21.900 Or Debbie 0.97

02:27:22.780 We had

02:27:23.180 Was that Debbie in the song?

02:27:24.420 Debbie, yeah

02:27:25.000 We had um

02:27:26.080 What was her?

02:27:27.560 Miss Robin

02:27:28.400 Oh yeah

02:27:29.340 That was our lady 0.96

02:27:29.980 At our kindergarten

02:27:31.180 And I would not sleep

02:27:32.980 I couldn't nap time

02:27:33.880 Or whatever

02:27:34.280 So she started to notice it

02:27:36.020 And she let me go outside

02:27:36.940 And watch her smoke 1.00

02:27:37.740 When we were kids

02:27:38.500 And her hair 0.99

02:27:39.880 She goes

02:27:40.760 If you can't sleep

02:27:41.340 You can come watch me smoke

02:27:42.340 And sometimes

02:27:44.200 That was your Debbie

02:27:45.640 And sometimes I would need some sleep

02:27:47.200 So I'd be like

02:27:47.560 I'm gonna sleep today

02:27:48.240 Or whatever

02:27:48.540 But then probably two days

02:27:50.180 Out of the week

02:27:50.740 I'd go out there

02:27:51.660 And watch Robin smoke

02:27:52.880 Tell me about her husband

02:27:53.880 And stuff like that

02:27:54.520 And her hair was kind of like

02:27:55.320 This feathered sort of

02:27:56.420 Kind of cut

02:27:57.440 Hell yeah, that's a total Robin

02:27:58.420 She looked like

02:27:59.400 I think she looked exactly like a man 0.98

02:28:00.840 But she was beautiful

02:28:02.240 Out of me

02:28:02.860 She was probably one of the hottest 1.00

02:28:03.900 She was a woman

02:28:04.720 That would talk to me

02:28:05.460 So she was stunning 1.00

02:28:06.320 It was incredible

02:28:07.400 God, there was something like that

02:28:08.400 Just to watch her Robin smoke

02:28:10.200 Not the bird

02:28:11.180 Yeah

02:28:11.620 But the human

02:28:12.580 Yeah

02:28:12.840 A human Robin

02:28:13.660 We talk a lot about your quote

02:28:16.660 I know it's not your quote

02:28:17.560 But grief is only love

02:28:18.760 That's got no place to go

02:28:19.940 We talk a lot about that, man

02:28:21.800 On here

02:28:22.180 We've mentioned it a few times

02:28:23.320 You think you could play that for us?

02:28:25.680 I could, yeah

02:28:26.320 I'd be happy to

02:28:27.000 Would you mind?

02:28:27.660 It'd take just a second

02:28:28.520 For me to tune up for it

02:28:29.600 Okay

02:28:29.840 Life is a battlefield

02:28:48.140 And it'll drag you right through hell

02:28:52.780 Lights like a rattlesnake

02:28:55.280 The kind that you just don't see on the trail

02:28:59.400 And I miss my father every day

02:29:05.080 The kind of pain I pray don't fade away

02:29:11.700 For the ones that guide me down the road

02:29:19.500 Yeah, grief is only love

02:29:22.860 That's got no place to go

02:29:26.400 But my great granddad in the ground

02:29:30.280 With all the ghosts in my hometown

02:29:33.340 Yeah, they're the ones

02:29:36.460 That find me down the road

02:29:39.580 Yeah, grief is only love

02:29:42.680 That's got no place to go

02:29:46.420 Yeah, grief is only love

02:29:49.180 The world is a cannonball

02:29:56.420 So deal with the feelings you can't hide

02:30:00.740 God gave us alcohol

02:30:02.860 When we need to leave them all inside

02:30:08.100 And I don't feel like crying

02:30:13.140 But I just keep crying

02:30:19.940 For the ones above

02:30:24.080 To guide me down the road

02:30:27.740 Yeah, grief is only love

02:30:28.740 Yeah, grief is only love

02:30:30.740 That's got no place to go

02:30:34.360 For my great granddad in the ground

02:30:38.200 With all the ghosts in my hometown

02:30:40.740 Yeah, they're the ones

02:30:43.740 That find me down the road

02:30:47.460 Yeah, grief is only love

02:30:50.480 That's got no place to go

02:30:54.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:30:57.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:31:01.000 Grief is only love

02:31:04.000 Grief is only love

02:31:11.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:31:12.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:31:13.000 I don't feel like crying

02:31:27.000 But I just keep crying

02:31:33.000 Crying for the ones above

02:31:39.000 To guide me down the road

02:31:42.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:31:43.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:31:44.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:31:45.000 That's got no place to go

02:31:48.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:31:49.000 So hang on to the hurt

02:31:51.000 So hang on to the hurt

02:31:52.000 And let it grab a hold

02:31:55.000 And the only thing for certain

02:31:58.000 Is it's out of my control

02:32:01.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:32:02.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:32:03.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:32:04.000 Grief is only love

02:32:05.000 That's got no place to go

02:32:06.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:32:09.000 Yeah, grief is only love that's got no place to go

02:32:15.000 Yeah, grief is only love

02:32:22.000 Grief is only love

02:32:29.000 Grief is only love

02:32:39.000 Grief is only love

02:32:48.000 Yeah

02:32:51.000 Yeah

02:32:59.000 That's awesome, man. Thank you so much.

02:33:01.000 How do we feel? Sound okay?

02:33:03.000 It sounds great, dude. Yeah, just thank you. Yeah, it's just nice.

02:33:07.000 Thank you, Theo, for everything, man. Thank you.

02:33:09.000 Trevin, was that okay? 0.97

02:33:11.000 That was fucking awesome. 0.98

02:33:12.000 Wow, dude. He's never used profanity in here. 0.99

02:33:16.000 So he's gonna get into merit, but...

02:33:17.000 He's never cursed in his life.

02:33:19.000 Hey, that's what's going on, dude.

02:33:21.000 Theo, thank you so much.

02:33:22.000 Thank you so much, dude.

02:33:23.000 Thank you.

02:33:24.000 You're awesome.

02:33:25.000 And I love it and thank you for sharing and helping us feel and making it okay for people to feel stuff and yeah.

02:33:31.000 Yeah, I think, yeah, it's time to feel things because what else do we have if we ain't got feelings? I think it's the only thing that separates us from the robots at this point.

02:33:43.000 Yeah.

02:33:44.000 So let's lean into what we got.

02:33:45.000 Amen. Lean into what makes us real.

02:33:47.000 Yes, sir.

02:33:48.000 Stephen Wilson, Jr.

02:33:49.000 Thank you so much, brother.

02:33:50.000 Thank you. God bless you all.

02:33:51.000 You too.

02:33:52.000 Thank you, Theo.

02:33:53.000 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found. I can feel it in my bones. But it's gonna take...

02:34:16.000 Even in my bones h院.

02:34:19.000 It's been my bones. It's gonna walk you so much.

02:34:36.000 Yes.

02:34:37.000 Go soon, and thank you.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - December 23, 2025

#630 - Stephen Wilson Jr.

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