This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #638

00:00:00.000 Today's guest is a comedian and an actor.

00:00:03.240 You'll know him from everywhere, from Grown Ups, King of Queens, Chuck and Larry, Paul Blart.

00:00:11.180 His new movie is out that's right now in theaters.

00:00:15.320 It's called Solo Mio, and it's great if you want to go check it out.

00:00:21.360 But right now, let's get to know Mr. Kevin James.

00:00:30.000 And I will find a song I've been singing.

00:00:34.340 I'm going to sing.

00:00:42.100 That's my coffee cup right there.

00:00:43.680 Con Dios, todos, es posible.

00:00:46.060 Posible.

00:00:46.680 It is, yeah.

00:00:47.740 What is the middle word?

00:00:49.800 Todo es.

00:00:51.640 Todo es.

00:00:52.640 Todo es.

00:00:53.260 Everything is.

00:00:54.100 Everything is?

00:00:55.160 That's cool.

00:00:56.420 With God, everything is possible.

00:00:59.100 What does yours say?

00:01:00.000 Mine's pretty, I just have no answers.

00:01:04.940 That's what it comes down to.

00:01:06.000 Oh, yours is one of those Mad Lib mugs, huh?

00:01:09.360 Each day is something different.

00:01:11.320 That's not Italian, but that almost sounds a little bit Italian, like your movie.

00:01:15.100 It does.

00:01:15.980 It is very close.

00:01:18.740 Deal.

00:01:19.660 Deal?

00:01:20.440 Like Rodney James' Deal?

00:01:21.900 Like Lock Up the Wolves, you mean?

00:01:22.920 Yes, yes.

00:01:23.460 But much different.

00:01:25.660 Lock Up the Wolves.

00:01:27.220 Have you ever listened to that?

00:01:27.900 No.

00:01:28.420 I remember him.

00:01:29.220 I mean, he was crazy, right?

00:01:30.300 Yeah, I'm sure he was yelling, Lock Up the Wolves.

00:01:32.560 Yeah.

00:01:33.080 Yeah, that's true.

00:01:33.900 That's true.

00:01:34.220 You can't not be crazy and yell, Lock Up the Wolves.

00:01:36.440 God, that album.

00:01:37.780 My brother used to beat me to his music.

00:01:40.640 It makes sense.

00:01:42.320 You remember your first concert ever?

00:01:43.400 No.

00:01:43.540 Yeah, it was Kiss.

00:01:45.060 Oh.

00:01:45.780 I saw Kiss in, it was like, right after, I think, maybe after Kiss Alive.

00:01:54.820 It was like, it was after that, or Destroy, one of them early, early albums.

00:01:59.600 And I went with my buddy, and I remember my buddy broke his arm, and he wasn't going to

00:02:04.900 be able to go, but we convinced him to go.

00:02:06.360 He was in a cast, so I was there with my mother and his mother, and he was just rocking

00:02:10.700 his cast the whole night to Kiss.

00:02:14.080 It was fun.

00:02:15.080 God, that's good.

00:02:15.980 It was a good one.

00:02:16.840 There was nothing like that time when you were going to a freaking concert.

00:02:20.300 Oh, yeah.

00:02:20.860 When you were just a kid, and so you got, if the air hit you and it was dope in it, it

00:02:26.100 just hit you.

00:02:27.040 Everything was weird.

00:02:28.240 Everything was crazy.

00:02:30.020 What was your first concert?

00:02:31.660 I went to, oh, Marilyn Manson.

00:02:35.120 And it was, yeah, they had a guy in our town, and he took us over there, me and the other

00:02:41.240 young kid, dropped us off.

00:02:44.100 You were there just with his?

00:02:46.200 With me, my buddy.

00:02:47.520 This guy dropped us off, this religious guy or whatever.

00:02:52.760 He dropped you off?

00:02:53.960 Religious?

00:02:54.300 Yeah.

00:02:54.680 He had a car.

00:02:55.080 What religion?

00:02:55.900 He had a car.

00:02:56.580 I don't know.

00:02:57.860 Last Baptist, I think.

00:02:59.400 I have no idea what he was, you know?

00:03:02.600 I had nothing.

00:03:03.140 I don't want to know, man.

00:03:03.980 He was dropping you off at Marilyn Manson?

00:03:05.420 Nothing decent.

00:03:06.160 Oh, dude.

00:03:06.560 Did he take off fast?

00:03:07.680 Like, was he like, go?

00:03:09.100 Yeah, he drove in a convertible.

00:03:10.520 Oh, wow.

00:03:11.480 Yeah, he dropped us off.

00:03:12.460 He said he could get us tickets there, and we'd heard a couple of their songs, and we

00:03:15.880 were into them, and we were underage when we got in, but it was like, being in a concert

00:03:20.680 when you were a kid, and everything was going on, if you were young, it was kind of wild,

00:03:23.980 because you were kind of free in this place that was caged, there was music, you know, sometimes

00:03:29.080 it was like pot in the air, you know, it was just like a lot, you know, people were

00:03:31.540 like strolling around.

00:03:32.740 A lot of new stimulus, right?

00:03:34.520 A lot of weird stuff that you, you know, you're a little bit scared, right?

00:03:37.760 Yeah, you're a little bit scared, but you're excited.

00:03:39.920 Yes.

00:03:40.300 And then if you get, you know, somebody passes you something, or your buddy brought something,

00:03:44.000 or whatever, then you're getting lifted, and now, dude, one time we ate something,

00:03:48.060 I don't know what we had, or some, you know, we caught a whiff of something, and we might

00:03:52.640 have brought it with us, and lit it up, but whatever it was, it got into us.

00:03:57.000 Not me.

00:03:57.660 And dude, I couldn't, like, I couldn't see anymore, right?

00:04:01.680 Yeah.

00:04:01.760 And I was like, oh shit, but I still had to pee.

00:04:04.820 Okay.

00:04:05.340 That's one thing I noticed, if you can't see, you still have to, if you...

00:04:08.200 Yeah, one doesn't stop the other.

00:04:09.780 Yeah.

00:04:10.860 Right.

00:04:11.100 I don't know, I never got lifted, but if I couldn't see, and I had to pee, how did

00:04:16.100 you do it?

00:04:16.400 Did you have a, did you just kind of walk out with a friend?

00:04:19.120 I remember the direction.

00:04:20.020 Or did you go where you were?

00:04:21.020 I remember the direction of the back of the venue, and I put my hands like this, right?

00:04:23.880 Oh, wow.

00:04:24.820 And I was going back, and I remember feeling like a badge, and I was feeling like a cop.

00:04:30.960 I'm sure he liked that.

00:04:32.820 Oh, dude, I'm so glad he didn't, like, you know, he recognized it.

00:04:36.700 That was cool, yeah.

00:04:37.680 I wasn't doing well.

00:04:38.540 And then, yeah, he saw you were in a bad way, and he helped you.

00:04:41.440 Yeah, and I went into the bathroom, I thought I was a raccoon, whatever, dude.

00:04:44.380 Yeah.

00:04:44.800 That was a long night.

00:04:45.840 Anyway, Kevin James, good to see you, man.

00:04:48.600 Good to see you.

00:04:49.220 Yeah.

00:04:49.680 See you all night.

00:04:50.360 Nice to be here.

00:04:50.960 Thank you very much.

00:04:51.740 Thanks for coming, man.

00:04:52.480 I appreciate it.

00:04:53.380 Did you guys go, we saw each other last night at your, you showed me and Nate Bargatze

00:04:58.260 and some other friends here in Nashville your movie.

00:05:00.160 Yeah, we just went, we went out to dinner.

00:05:01.880 Y'all did?

00:05:02.220 Yeah, we just hung out, had a good night.

00:05:03.460 Where'd y'all go?

00:05:04.420 Oh, gosh, what was the name of that place?

00:05:05.880 It was Gannon, Gannon?

00:05:08.540 Gannon's in Nashville.

00:05:09.960 Is it on a lake?

00:05:11.780 I don't think it was on a lake.

00:05:13.260 I mean, we didn't take a boat to get there, right?

00:05:14.700 We didn't, it was, it was, you know, it was.

00:05:17.760 Sounds nice.

00:05:18.680 Yeah, it was cool.

00:05:19.480 It was?

00:05:19.780 It was a cool place.

00:05:20.220 Yeah, it was nice.

00:05:20.940 They gave us a little room, and we just had fun.

00:05:24.200 It was prime rib.

00:05:25.340 Oh, yeah.

00:05:25.760 It was everything, man.

00:05:26.700 It was good.

00:05:27.320 Did it have that white sauce with it?

00:05:28.660 It did.

00:05:29.420 It did.

00:05:30.400 What is that?

00:05:31.200 It's, that's, it's like a tartar.

00:05:34.040 Yeah.

00:05:34.540 But it's not, it's, it's got a W.

00:05:37.120 What is it?

00:05:37.480 Or a horseradish, horseradish, not a W.

00:05:40.060 Where's the W coming from?

00:05:41.720 But it's white.

00:05:42.560 That's where it comes from.

00:05:43.360 His W is white.

00:05:44.220 Yeah.

00:05:44.400 And it's horseradish.

00:05:45.180 And they give you the chunks of horseradish, which is like, that's like the nucleus of

00:05:49.880 it.

00:05:50.140 That's the burning.

00:05:50.640 I've never seen that.

00:05:51.180 You never, what are you talking about?

00:05:52.260 Now bring up, bring up a natural, horseradish in its natural habitat or whatever.

00:05:55.640 Yes.

00:05:55.960 Yeah.

00:05:56.920 And then, and then they have a white, like horseradish sauce that kind of blends it.

00:06:01.240 See, that's the, that's the, that's the stuff.

00:06:03.280 Yeah.

00:06:03.780 God, that's good.

00:06:04.780 Yeah.

00:06:05.440 And it, and you spread that over your, your prime rib.

00:06:07.900 Oh, I love that.

00:06:10.120 That thing.

00:06:10.620 I just, I never know what it is, but they have it and I love it.

00:06:15.960 What's that?

00:06:17.000 That right there.

00:06:17.360 Oh, the horseradish.

00:06:18.260 Yeah.

00:06:18.700 I know.

00:06:19.140 So you've had it.

00:06:19.940 Oh yeah.

00:06:20.340 But I just forgot.

00:06:21.300 I just.

00:06:21.640 Oh, what it is.

00:06:22.340 But I know you only see it with prime rib.

00:06:23.440 Shrimp cocktail.

00:06:23.900 No, you see it with shrimp cocktail too.

00:06:25.540 Oh, that's the same?

00:06:27.120 Yes.

00:06:27.620 It comes out the same way.

00:06:29.100 They give you the chunks of the little thing.

00:06:30.960 Do you do shrimp cocktail?

00:06:31.900 Yeah.

00:06:32.220 I do shrimp cocktails all the time when the shrimps are hanging out, showing their legs or whatever

00:06:35.140 off the edge of the thing.

00:06:36.100 Yeah, you split them, you pop them and you dip them in the thing.

00:06:40.400 Dude, I had no idea that was the same thing.

00:06:42.960 That's the, that's the, that's the wasabi version of whatever it is for this stuff.

00:06:48.220 It's like wasabi.

00:06:49.320 It's like a spicy hit that you do that it's, it's really to get you to forget the fact that

00:06:54.540 you're eating fish.

00:06:55.400 Yeah.

00:06:56.220 Yeah.

00:06:56.580 I guess.

00:06:56.880 Cause some of it doesn't taste great or whatever.

00:06:58.480 Yes.

00:06:59.380 Horseradish is a perennial plant of the family.

00:07:02.480 Brassis.

00:07:03.600 Brassica.

00:07:04.600 I'm sorry.

00:07:05.180 It's not a vegetable.

00:07:08.120 It is.

00:07:08.460 Oh, it is a root vegetable cultivated and used worldwide as a spice and as a condiment.

00:07:13.360 Yeah, dude.

00:07:13.840 I like that, man.

00:07:15.140 I like it when I just really, but I only see when prime rib and I guess it always, to me

00:07:19.060 that always looked more like a milkier sauce.

00:07:21.040 Yeah.

00:07:21.260 Something different.

00:07:21.740 Well, there's both.

00:07:22.420 There's, there's that, that's the, the, the, the, there's like little chunks when you

00:07:25.380 see that and then they give you like, it's like a main, like a cool whip, like a mayonnaise

00:07:30.340 style that blends with that.

00:07:32.600 You put them both together.

00:07:33.640 Oh, I haven't done that.

00:07:34.200 And it gives you a, yeah, it's a good, it's a good cover.

00:07:36.480 I'm missing.

00:07:37.040 Maybe I'm not, I'm not looking around when I see that.

00:07:39.260 Yeah.

00:07:39.860 But I love that.

00:07:40.560 You get to talk to the person and they cut it.

00:07:42.600 Yes.

00:07:43.360 It's a lot of fun.

00:07:44.380 Yeah.

00:07:44.680 You know, it's, yeah, it's, it's a lot of fun.

00:07:47.340 It was, uh, it was a good night, man.

00:07:49.100 We have fun.

00:07:49.720 We missed you.

00:07:50.320 And thanks for coming.

00:07:51.600 Yeah, dude.

00:07:52.080 It was great to come over there and see the film and just see the, had you seen it a bunch

00:07:57.240 already?

00:07:57.500 Yeah.

00:07:57.860 I seen a few times.

00:07:58.900 Yeah.

00:07:59.140 I mean, I, did you help edit it?

00:08:01.080 Oh gosh.

00:08:01.660 Yeah.

00:08:01.840 I did everything, you know, helping them all on every step of the way we've been, you know,

00:08:06.860 baby in this thing for, for a while now.

00:08:09.100 So it's, it's, it's, I'll keep seeing it.

00:08:11.760 I'm going to see it again.

00:08:12.580 And you know, you know, it's, it's basically just your baby, you know, you, you work it

00:08:17.340 and you just kind of try to bring it to everybody and you want it to be right.

00:08:20.540 And I don't want to, you know, I want everybody like you, I want people to see it, to, to, you

00:08:25.760 know, to see what they think, what they can change.

00:08:28.420 Oh yeah.

00:08:29.180 But now we're here.

00:08:30.420 Oh, we felt the magic of it yesterday, man.

00:08:32.480 It felt good.

00:08:33.160 It was a love.

00:08:34.180 It's a, I don't want to give anything away.

00:08:35.960 I mean, it's a love story.

00:08:37.880 Yeah.

00:08:38.160 Um, it's got some sweet moments, uh, that were surprises.

00:08:42.180 I thought good, you know, it definitely made me think like, dang, I got to get, uh, you

00:08:48.520 got to get into love, man.

00:08:50.060 That's what it makes you feel hopeful that, that, that people are getting into love out

00:08:54.060 there in Italy and in Italy.

00:08:56.200 Yes.

00:08:56.760 That it's, I honestly, that it's never too late that it's like, it really, I mean, I

00:09:00.180 really, I found my wife late, later in life too.

00:09:03.480 Uh, and it was, it, it, it's one of those things where it's like, it's, it's possible

00:09:08.440 for all, you know, like people, they, when they get older, they, they start gripping the

00:09:13.000 bat too tight, getting worried that I'm not with anybody.

00:09:15.140 And so they don't know whether to make that decision jump or what it, I'm just going to

00:09:17.880 be alone.

00:09:18.600 And I think when you loosen up and kind of relax and just give yourself up to, you know,

00:09:21.620 give it a shot, you, you, you, you do better.

00:09:23.980 And you know, you, you, you feel that ever.

00:09:26.060 Oh yeah.

00:09:26.560 I was definitely, you know, I got married at, uh, like.

00:09:30.560 39, uh, 39, I think.

00:09:33.080 Yeah.

00:09:33.300 And I had my first kid at 40, but, uh.

00:09:35.540 Do you still have your wife?

00:09:36.560 Yeah.

00:09:37.420 I met her last night.

00:09:38.260 Yeah.

00:09:38.480 She was there.

00:09:38.980 Oh yeah.

00:09:39.540 Yeah.

00:09:40.160 Yeah.

00:09:40.520 Good.

00:09:41.220 I kept her.

00:09:41.740 I hope that was her.

00:09:42.560 Otherwise she wouldn't be happy hearing about this.

00:09:43.920 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

00:09:44.940 That's her.

00:09:45.740 And she's 21 and change now.

00:09:48.680 21 years.

00:09:49.520 Oh.

00:09:50.160 Yeah.

00:09:50.900 Yeah.

00:09:51.120 It's great.

00:09:51.700 Four kids.

00:09:52.440 It's fun.

00:09:53.660 And is your wife from another country or parents might be?

00:09:56.280 Well, uh, she's Filipino and a little bit Alaskan Indian.

00:09:59.960 Dude, I love Filipinos.

00:10:01.160 Yeah.

00:10:01.680 You do?

00:10:02.440 Dude, are you kidding me?

00:10:03.160 How could you not?

00:10:04.180 Right?

00:10:04.980 Dude, they're the smiling people.

00:10:06.620 Yes.

00:10:07.100 Very happy people.

00:10:08.360 Oh.

00:10:08.840 Very fun people.

00:10:09.980 And they make lumpia.

00:10:11.440 And they make what?

00:10:12.500 Lumpia.

00:10:13.100 Oh, I've never even heard of it.

00:10:13.800 Can you look up lumpia?

00:10:16.560 Lumpia is just.

00:10:17.660 What is it, like a dip or something?

00:10:18.680 It's like an egg roll from heaven.

00:10:20.960 Mm.

00:10:21.580 And you put it in the dip.

00:10:23.100 Oh.

00:10:23.400 And it's nothing like the, the, the horseradish one.

00:10:25.940 It's a beautiful, sweetie.

00:10:27.800 It can be a little spicy if you want, but it's, it's a fun one.

00:10:30.460 It's a good, it's a good, it, it wowed me.

00:10:33.660 Like, you know, I'm.

00:10:34.580 Yeah.

00:10:34.880 I would mule one of those in my ass.

00:10:36.540 Yeah.

00:10:36.720 I think about those things look good, brother.

00:10:38.800 I'll tell you that.

00:10:39.760 You know what I'm saying?

00:10:40.520 But you brought one of those into prison.

00:10:41.900 You could sell it for a lot.

00:10:43.000 I don't know what was going in.

00:10:44.200 It, a lot went out in my ass.

00:10:45.980 But, uh, yeah.

00:10:47.800 Oh, dude.

00:10:48.480 Sorry.

00:10:49.180 God, no.

00:10:49.740 Those look that good.

00:10:51.020 Yeah, they're good.

00:10:51.600 They're very good.

00:10:52.200 There's not a lot of food you'd put in yet.

00:10:53.800 You know what I'm saying?

00:10:54.340 Because that's a total reverse route.

00:10:56.500 That's like when you see somebody's driving up the interstate the wrong way.

00:10:59.280 And you're like, what are they doing here?

00:11:01.020 How'd you get on this road?

00:11:02.560 Yeah.

00:11:02.920 Yeah.

00:11:03.560 It's real good.

00:11:04.420 God, that's nice.

00:11:05.640 Yeah.

00:11:05.860 See, I think if somebody tricked me enough with a, you know, with some sort of fancy little

00:11:12.300 oriental baklava like that, they would.

00:11:15.160 Oh, you really?

00:11:16.060 Oh, really?

00:11:16.580 Yeah.

00:11:16.800 They could get me to love them more.

00:11:18.340 Right.

00:11:19.080 You know what I'm saying?

00:11:19.860 Yes.

00:11:20.320 If somebody had a recipe of something that you just loved, I would give in more.

00:11:25.940 But yeah, Filipinos, dude.

00:11:27.540 Ah, I wish we were all Filipino.

00:11:30.220 Yeah.

00:11:31.460 Sure.

00:11:32.380 Because I think it would be great.

00:11:33.860 It would be great.

00:11:34.700 Name 60 bad Filipinos.

00:11:37.040 I can't name one.

00:11:38.420 I don't know any.

00:11:39.300 Yeah.

00:11:39.820 I really don't.

00:11:40.620 I don't know one.

00:11:41.300 I can't name one.

00:11:42.340 So are your kids a little bit Filipino too?

00:11:44.280 They have to be.

00:11:45.000 I hope.

00:11:46.640 That's so good.

00:11:47.580 Yeah.

00:11:48.020 They're fun.

00:11:49.040 Oh, I can't even imagine.

00:11:50.500 You should see them.

00:11:51.180 You like them.

00:11:51.800 Oh, yeah.

00:11:52.420 I'd love to see them sometime.

00:11:53.620 But yeah, I would love to have like a semi-Asian or off-Asian.

00:11:57.960 I don't know exactly what the term is with Filipino, but I would love to have a child like that.

00:12:00.900 But it's a cute mix.

00:12:02.840 Yeah.

00:12:02.980 It's a fun, you know?

00:12:04.380 And they're so good.

00:12:05.580 They seem like such good.

00:12:06.800 Good people.

00:12:07.420 Yeah.

00:12:07.920 That's beautiful, dude.

00:12:09.360 I know that you grew up over in New York.

00:12:11.500 Oh, dude.

00:12:13.720 I forgot to even tell you this.

00:12:14.800 I saw the movie.

00:12:15.620 When I first saw your movie, Solo Mio, it's called.

00:12:18.720 Yes.

00:12:19.280 I thought it was Salamio.

00:12:20.980 I thought it was a-

00:12:21.860 Oh, that would be an old-

00:12:22.820 Yes.

00:12:23.080 Like a Marvel character you were doing.

00:12:24.380 By the way, I could do that one next.

00:12:25.640 Yeah.

00:12:25.820 That is not-

00:12:26.540 Salamio was a-

00:12:27.340 That's what I thought.

00:12:28.220 I was like, dude, what is he doing?

00:12:30.700 What am I not doing?

00:12:31.860 Salamio.

00:12:32.260 How did you guys not think of Salamio?

00:12:34.000 I just thought it was like, oh, this is his like superhero type of guy, you know?

00:12:38.520 But did you think it was like just one word and it was an Italian word?

00:12:41.100 Or did you think it was the meat?

00:12:42.980 Oh, I thought it was like the master-

00:12:48.720 Like Salamio.

00:12:51.420 Yeah, like Salamio shows up and rescues like the Italian parade or something happened at

00:12:58.240 the Italian parade.

00:12:59.120 But is the Italian meat involved or is you-

00:13:01.480 No, that's just his name.

00:13:02.500 Okay.

00:13:02.940 Does he have a cape?

00:13:05.040 Yeah, he may have a cape.

00:13:06.600 Yes.

00:13:07.100 He has a cape.

00:13:07.620 Like maybe a fine prosciutto or whatever.

00:13:09.980 Yes.

00:13:10.400 Yeah.

00:13:11.700 Salamio is insane.

00:13:12.780 Yeah.

00:13:13.000 So anyway, I thought they had my glasses on when I saw it.

00:13:15.320 So I was like, Salamio, that's crazy.

00:13:17.460 I was like, but it's awesome.

00:13:18.360 And it was like, I could see it being super exciting.

00:13:20.140 Do you know I'm regretting every choice we made now that we did not go with Salamio?

00:13:24.380 It really is hitting me.

00:13:25.520 Salamio is, I don't know.

00:13:27.500 From the land of mortadella.

00:13:29.820 Yes.

00:13:30.960 Yes.

00:13:31.440 Your backstory could have been sick.

00:13:32.860 But when I got there and I saw the image and it was like, oh, Salamio.

00:13:38.560 Yes.

00:13:39.060 And it was good.

00:13:40.000 Yeah.

00:13:40.420 It was cool, man.

00:13:41.280 Yeah.

00:13:41.400 And it just made me, it did make me think about love.

00:13:43.260 It made me think about that kind of stuff.

00:13:44.780 And like, yeah, just the choices that we make.

00:13:48.200 I think I've watched a couple of movies recently that kind of like got me in like certain feet.

00:13:51.940 So you're single now?

00:13:53.120 Yeah.

00:13:53.500 Okay.

00:13:54.160 And you're looking or you're just like, I'm-

00:13:56.020 Yeah, I'm looking.

00:13:56.700 You know, I got to get married at some point.

00:13:58.360 Right.

00:13:59.160 You want kids?

00:14:00.320 Yeah.

00:14:00.620 I think I want to have some children.

00:14:01.660 I love it.

00:14:02.680 Yeah.

00:14:02.920 Did you always want to have them, you think?

00:14:04.100 I did.

00:14:04.620 You did?

00:14:05.080 Yeah.

00:14:06.300 I did.

00:14:06.720 I always wanted kids.

00:14:08.940 And again, I was getting worried.

00:14:11.420 I was, you know, 39.

00:14:12.800 It was later for me and then four.

00:14:14.360 But it's, you have so much time.

00:14:15.940 You can have, you know, it's, you're great.

00:14:18.320 You can go as long as you can and then you adopt or do whatever.

00:14:20.800 It's amazing.

00:14:21.780 Yeah.

00:14:22.020 Some of the adopt, there's a lot of returns over there.

00:14:24.160 You know what I'm saying?

00:14:24.880 I'm not, no judgment.

00:14:27.480 And some of those are Russian.

00:14:29.460 But people know it.

00:14:30.860 It's on a chart.

00:14:32.140 But, yeah, dude, I do think, I know I would like to, you know.

00:14:37.120 I think it's just making sure I can get into that place.

00:14:39.520 Where, go ahead.

00:14:40.980 Of myself and knowing, okay, I can do this, you know.

00:14:46.600 And I have to, I have to really, like, fine tune my behaviors and what I, what I need to be doing.

00:14:54.860 And how I kind of put myself and take care of myself and everything.

00:14:59.680 It's like, because this is going to be a thing, you know.

00:15:02.480 Right.

00:15:02.720 You want to stay in it, right?

00:15:03.720 So you want to, are you putting yourself out there, though, to, to, to, in the right places to see these people, to meet these people?

00:15:08.800 Because now you're, I mean, it's, because you're so famous now.

00:15:11.700 It's like, it's a different takeout.

00:15:13.620 You got to be careful, right?

00:15:14.520 So.

00:15:14.900 I guess.

00:15:15.560 I mean, I still probably date the same types of gals as when I wasn't popular, you know.

00:15:19.000 I think so that, I don't know if that changes.

00:15:20.460 But I wouldn't date somebody.

00:15:21.520 I think I would know if somebody was like, you know.

00:15:24.140 Right.

00:15:25.480 I hope so.

00:15:25.980 You definitely would.

00:15:26.940 After me for my podcast outtakes or whatever, you know.

00:15:29.560 Right, right, right.

00:15:29.700 So.

00:15:30.900 Right.

00:15:31.640 But yeah, I thought it was a great movie.

00:15:33.020 It was really sweet.

00:15:33.500 It had some good surprises.

00:15:34.580 So, yeah, I'm glad that, I left feeling glad that when I saw it.

00:15:38.120 That's good.

00:15:38.640 And it made me think about some things.

00:15:40.460 Yeah.

00:15:40.560 That's when I noticed something's nice for me, is if I leave and it makes me like, you know,

00:15:45.580 kind of think about myself in certain situations or something.

00:15:48.800 Yeah.

00:15:49.420 And hopefully uplifting.

00:15:52.260 You know what I'm saying?

00:15:52.700 If it feels, you know, that you can, that there's possibility out there, you know.

00:15:59.180 Oh, dude.

00:16:00.120 And the singing, the part where you guys were singing, dude.

00:16:02.660 Oh, gosh.

00:16:03.100 I thought it was going to turn into one of those, like, at the Crescendo.

00:16:06.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:07.700 I thought at the Crescendo it was going to be like, there was going to be one of those

00:16:11.040 four 4K theaters or whatever, like the 4D or whatever.

00:16:14.500 Yeah.

00:16:14.860 And it was just going to, like, a huge thing of, like, pasta sauce was going to fucking

00:16:17.620 hit us all in the back of the head.

00:16:19.360 That's what I thought, dude.

00:16:20.640 If that would have happened, bro.

00:16:22.100 Dude, that and Salamia.

00:16:25.040 What's his name?

00:16:26.440 Salamio.

00:16:27.360 Salamio.

00:16:28.180 Salamio.

00:16:28.500 Okay, so it's Salamio.

00:16:30.220 That's what I thought.

00:16:30.920 Oh, dude.

00:16:31.860 That's a guy?

00:16:33.380 How do we not do Salamio?

00:16:35.480 Bro, I'll tell you this.

00:16:37.240 I want the leg muscles.

00:16:39.200 Oh, you got those.

00:16:40.360 No, I don't, man.

00:16:41.340 I'm losing them.

00:16:42.040 When you get older, you start losing the leg muscles.

00:16:44.180 Abs, I got, obviously, you know I have the abs.

00:16:46.460 Yeah.

00:16:46.780 And the biceps and all that stuff, but the leg muscles.

00:16:49.960 That's a lot of leg.

00:16:51.120 It is.

00:16:52.240 Spotty fat.

00:16:53.000 He's got a lot of clogged arteries.

00:16:54.800 I like it, though, man.

00:16:56.400 I'm in with this guy.

00:16:59.000 I think he's just, his only thing he does is just go to the doctor to get his levels checked.

00:17:05.160 Just paddles of blood.

00:17:07.840 Dude, those aren't even muscles.

00:17:09.520 That's just a chunk of gout.

00:17:11.740 Yes, that's all gout and cholesterol.

00:17:14.760 I like it.

00:17:15.440 But no, dude, it was cool.

00:17:16.620 So thank you so much for inviting me, man.

00:17:18.060 It's enjoyable.

00:17:18.920 Thank you.

00:17:19.060 It's a nice movie.

00:17:19.720 You could take your lady.

00:17:20.560 You know, you could take your lady.

00:17:21.680 You go with your family.

00:17:22.380 You go with almost anybody, really.

00:17:23.560 Right.

00:17:23.860 It was sweet.

00:17:24.700 Good.

00:17:25.220 It was sweet and good, man.

00:17:27.320 Did, you grew up in Mineola?

00:17:29.720 Oh, no.

00:17:30.180 I was born in Mineola.

00:17:31.160 Mineola?

00:17:31.400 I grew up out.

00:17:32.100 Yeah.

00:17:32.360 I bounced around Long Island for a little bit in New Hyde Park.

00:17:36.080 Dude.

00:17:36.220 But you don't know this stuff.

00:17:37.680 How do you?

00:17:37.720 We just had a fireman on.

00:17:38.880 This is how I know this.

00:17:39.680 We just had a fireman on.

00:17:40.640 And he mentioned that you were from that area.

00:17:43.880 Yeah.

00:17:43.980 Because I said, well, Kevin James might be coming on.

00:17:45.660 He's like, oh, he's from New Hyde Park.

00:17:47.580 Yeah.

00:17:47.880 And we had this guy, Tony Bonfiglio.

00:17:50.140 He was, there he is right there.

00:17:51.840 He was a firefighter during 9-11.

00:17:54.380 He did 22 years on Ladder 34.

00:17:56.420 Wow.

00:17:56.680 Which was Washington Heights.

00:17:57.740 And he just had the best stories about growing up in New Hyde Park and where he went to interview

00:18:02.400 to be the fireman.

00:18:03.700 And him and his buddies just screwing around in the area and just going to different music clubs

00:18:08.320 and listening to cover bands and stuff like that.

00:18:09.920 Oh, I love it.

00:18:10.800 What a, sounds like a great dude.

00:18:12.380 It was great.

00:18:12.920 Yeah.

00:18:13.500 That's a lot of good people from there.

00:18:15.200 Really.

00:18:16.200 Yeah.

00:18:16.620 It's a really cool experience.

00:18:17.900 It feels like that.

00:18:19.060 It is.

00:18:19.880 It was fun growing up, man.

00:18:22.040 Which, for me, like helped in stand up and helped in everything.

00:18:26.160 I just had a good, fun childhood.

00:18:27.920 It was really, really cool.

00:18:29.280 Funny people.

00:18:30.200 Was your brother funny or something?

00:18:31.680 You got a sister or something that's funny?

00:18:32.680 My brother was funny first.

00:18:35.160 Yeah.

00:18:35.620 We're all funny.

00:18:36.580 It's all the dinner table stuff and putting on little shows when the relatives come over.

00:18:40.820 That type of stuff.

00:18:41.780 And then eventually I was playing football in college and I realized the dream.

00:18:48.780 When you're not starting in Division III.

00:18:51.200 Were you at Oneonta?

00:18:52.280 No.

00:18:52.640 I was at Cortland and I never finished.

00:18:54.500 I was drinking a lot.

00:18:56.140 Like we were partying up there.

00:18:57.420 It was crazy.

00:18:58.120 It was a crazy school.

00:18:58.260 Yeah.

00:18:58.380 I've been up there.

00:18:59.620 That's up there.

00:19:00.280 By Syracuse and all that stuff and Ithaca.

00:19:02.220 But Cortland is what?

00:19:03.280 Ithaca.

00:19:03.860 Yeah.

00:19:04.020 It's in Ithaca, isn't it?

00:19:04.860 No.

00:19:05.260 It's near Ithaca.

00:19:06.200 Oh, bet.

00:19:06.660 Oh, yeah.

00:19:06.960 There I am.

00:19:08.020 That was me playing football in, yeah.

00:19:11.760 I think that's high school.

00:19:13.220 But yes, that was what I played.

00:19:16.080 And then once I realized there was a guy so much better than me.

00:19:18.580 I go, this is, I'm not going to do this anymore.

00:19:20.520 What do I do?

00:19:21.220 Did you have a nickname on the team or not?

00:19:22.680 I think it was The Hydrant.

00:19:26.360 I don't think it was because of what you think.

00:19:29.080 I think it was just a different reason.

00:19:30.340 I don't know.

00:19:30.560 I'm not sure of the reason.

00:19:31.700 The Hydrant, huh?

00:19:32.440 Yeah, because I was low.

00:19:34.240 I was low to the ground and I wet myself a lot.

00:19:37.400 Yeah.

00:19:38.360 So, I mean, it was just a weird thing.

00:19:42.140 But no, I mean, once I realized that wasn't going on anyway.

00:19:45.640 I never finished Cortland, too.

00:19:46.740 I got out of college.

00:19:48.280 Did they give you an honorary thing like that in the mail or something?

00:19:50.440 They would give it to me now, but I don't want to go back now.

00:19:53.000 I don't want to.

00:19:53.960 Oh, get your degree, man.

00:19:55.420 Really?

00:19:55.900 Should I go back?

00:19:56.640 I mean, I wouldn't say, I'm not going to tell you not to get your education.

00:19:59.960 Yeah, maybe I should, right?

00:20:01.640 No, I shouldn't.

00:20:02.680 For what?

00:20:03.160 What am I going to use it for?

00:20:04.820 I don't know.

00:20:05.340 I got urban planning.

00:20:06.220 That's mine.

00:20:06.840 Did you go to school?

00:20:07.600 Did you finish college?

00:20:08.400 Yeah, I finished college.

00:20:09.080 It gave me almost 11 years.

00:20:10.180 Where'd you go?

00:20:11.200 I went online.

00:20:11.720 11 years for college?

00:20:12.820 I went offline also.

00:20:14.160 Oh, you did?

00:20:14.700 Yeah.

00:20:14.900 I went to a lot of schools.

00:20:15.540 I went to Arizona.

00:20:18.160 Where else did I go?

00:20:19.720 I went to Santa Monica College.

00:20:21.300 I went to the University of New Orleans.

00:20:22.180 Why did you not finish at one?

00:20:23.860 LSU College of Charleston.

00:20:25.240 I don't know why.

00:20:27.100 Oh, I started doing comedy.

00:20:28.220 And I would hit the road, and I'd be like, and then I'd have to pick back up and do

00:20:31.360 a semester, and it was just piecemeal.

00:20:33.640 Did you get into it through improv or just right into stand-up?

00:20:36.680 Just got into stand-up.

00:20:37.780 I was just like, you know, I think I, Mark Gross, I think, was the first comedian maybe

00:20:43.240 I ever saw.

00:20:43.900 Bring him up.

00:20:45.120 Bring up a picture.

00:20:45.820 What year did you start?

00:20:46.800 I started in 2005.

00:20:49.680 Oh, my goodness.

00:20:51.140 That is so crazy.

00:20:54.680 I saw this guy perform, and I was, and I'd seen, like, Chris Rock's my favorite comedian

00:21:00.220 growing up.

00:21:00.740 I'd seen, like, you know, I'd seen comedy, but I'd never seen it live.

00:21:04.900 Right.

00:21:05.220 And we went to college where it was like, at LSU, they'd call you and be like, you got

00:21:09.360 30 free tickets tonight.

00:21:11.440 Right, right.

00:21:12.240 You're like, what?

00:21:12.780 Because there's paper in the room, but you'd be so excited.

00:21:15.060 Yeah, you'd just get a gift.

00:21:16.400 Yes.

00:21:17.020 So you go.

00:21:17.720 And I went, and I saw him, and I was like-

00:21:19.800 And it changed you.

00:21:20.640 Yes.

00:21:20.920 I was like, oh, this can really be, like, a thing?

00:21:24.140 That you wanted to do right away, or you thought-

00:21:27.120 I don't think I knew I wanted to do it, but I just, I liked being funny, and then I was

00:21:30.860 like, oh, this can, like, there's a, this is a real path.

00:21:34.540 I just never connected the dots.

00:21:36.100 I need, like, dot to dot to dot.

00:21:38.300 I need dots between the dots to connect them, you know?

00:21:41.380 And, yeah, so that made me, like, start to, I think, have the bug, and then I got to

00:21:45.920 L.A., and then, and then I started just going up, you know?

00:21:49.320 Dude, I was in Vegas when I saw you and heard about you.

00:21:53.980 You know how I heard about you, or saw you?

00:21:56.220 Your face was the whole side of the hotel.

00:22:01.420 Oh, yeah.

00:22:01.940 That's it, Theo.

00:22:02.360 Do you remember?

00:22:02.780 Did you see that?

00:22:03.820 Yeah, I did.

00:22:04.340 That was badass.

00:22:04.980 I was like, who's this?

00:22:06.060 I was like, my goodness.

00:22:07.160 I know.

00:22:07.640 I checked you out, dude, and that was awesome.

00:22:09.440 Thanks, dude.

00:22:09.500 That's really cool, man.

00:22:10.520 That was cool.

00:22:11.040 That's crazy.

00:22:11.920 That's it.

00:22:12.360 Just to think that you saw that?

00:22:13.880 Stone.

00:22:14.380 That's cool.

00:22:14.840 I was like, whoa, I don't get that.

00:22:16.760 I never got that.

00:22:17.640 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:18.140 That was big, man.

00:22:19.000 No, no, no, no.

00:22:19.980 I'm serious.

00:22:20.920 That was cool.

00:22:21.660 Oh, that is, yeah.

00:22:22.420 I think, yeah, some of that stuff is pretty cool.

00:22:23.880 It's, like, impossible to live up to that kind of hype.

00:22:26.080 That is, but it's still, man, that's cool, you know?

00:22:29.160 Yeah, stuff like that's kind of interesting sometimes, I guess.

00:22:31.760 Yeah, there it is.

00:22:32.580 See, it is.

00:22:33.300 Yeah.

00:22:33.520 Look at that, man.

00:22:34.300 That's exactly what I saw, and I was like, whoa, this guy looks like Salomeo.

00:22:39.420 Yeah.

00:22:40.600 Look at that look, right?

00:22:41.860 That's a heroic look.

00:22:42.800 I'm looking for the shooter from that shooting they had there a few years ago.

00:22:45.920 Yeah, that's right.

00:22:46.400 That was rough.

00:22:47.420 Yeah, that was a surprise.

00:22:48.740 Anyway, I fucking really ruined that compliment you were giving me, but thank you, dude.

00:22:51.540 No, it's true.

00:22:52.160 It's true.

00:22:52.560 I remember seeing that, being there in Vegas, and I was like, whoa, you know.

00:22:56.940 It's an instant bit of, like, who's this guy?

00:23:00.000 Like, a little bit of fear.

00:23:00.960 Oh, yeah.

00:23:01.260 You know, I'm always like, oh, my gosh, this new guy.

00:23:03.720 You know, I'm trying to fill this room.

00:23:05.780 I hope I do well tonight, and this guy's got the side of a building.

00:23:09.780 I'm like, good for him.

00:23:10.820 Because we needed that much advertisement, too.

00:23:12.840 Yeah.

00:23:13.340 That's what it was, dude.

00:23:14.560 True.

00:23:15.380 We started small.

00:23:16.420 We started on thimbles.

00:23:18.040 We're just handing them out on guitar picks.

00:23:21.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:23:21.860 That's a great idea.

00:23:24.320 This episode is brought to you by Pepsi, and we've actually got their Super Bowl commercial

00:23:29.660 that premiered last night.

00:23:32.720 Let's take a look at it right here.

00:23:36.800 Oh, blind taste test.

00:23:38.840 My whole life's a blind taste test.

00:23:40.360 This bears in therapy, or bear-apy, I think they call it.

00:23:46.180 I don't even know.

00:23:46.900 Whatever this is about, I'm in.

00:23:49.600 Cheap furniture.

00:23:50.800 Tell me about your mother.

00:23:52.360 Oh, yeah.

00:23:53.500 Mother longing.

00:23:54.600 Is this me?

00:23:59.440 Staring at women through windows.

00:24:01.180 Yeah.

00:24:01.360 Oh, that's sweet.

00:24:08.100 That's nice.

00:24:08.700 Let's go, bear.

00:24:11.120 With your lady at a concert.

00:24:14.540 Oh, that's a pretty cold play right there.

00:24:18.820 Me and this bear are really similar.

00:24:20.880 Drinking games, therapy, cheap furniture, and longing for a woman through a pane of glass.

00:24:27.880 Peeping Tommy, we call it.

00:24:29.500 But I guess in the animal kingdom, it's more of like an acceptable pastime.

00:24:33.440 All right.

00:24:33.980 Moving on.

00:24:35.220 But actually kind of staying right here.

00:24:37.040 Some of my friends bug me that I choose Pepsi over Coke.

00:24:41.940 But there's actually been blind taste tests that prove that Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.

00:24:48.680 There's even a name for it.

00:24:49.800 It's called the Pepsi Paradox.

00:24:51.540 It's the idea that once bias and labels disappear, cola drinkers prefer the taste of Pepsi Zero Sugar.

00:24:59.500 Yep.

00:25:00.200 Pepsi first showed this 50 years ago with their iconic Pepsi challenge when they had people try Coke and Pepsi without the labels.

00:25:08.800 And the results were clear.

00:25:10.160 When you take labels out of the equation and you just focus on taste, people choose Pepsi.

00:25:16.940 I mean, that's what the Super Bowl commercial was showing.

00:25:19.140 There's a blindfolded, cola-loving polar bear, and he chooses Pepsi Zero Sugar.

00:25:27.500 Dude, my freaking blind cousin chooses Pepsi.

00:25:30.300 He just emailed me.

00:25:32.200 How can he email?

00:25:34.240 Maybe he could Pepsi for a second.

00:25:36.180 Hey, quiet down.

00:25:38.260 Bad joke.

00:25:38.980 It's the question that Pepsi's putting out there.

00:25:41.900 Is your cola choice actually about taste?

00:25:46.080 Because they redid the Pepsi challenge in 2025.

00:25:50.220 And guess what?

00:25:50.920 66% of people chose Pepsi Zero Sugar over Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.

00:25:58.900 And it just makes you think, if nobody told you what you were supposed to like, what would you actually choose?

00:26:06.060 The public has spoken.

00:26:07.840 And Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.

00:26:12.020 If you're curious, go try Pepsi Zero Sugar.

00:26:15.420 Let your taste decide.

00:26:17.660 When your comedy first started, was it just something you wanted to do?

00:26:20.140 Do you know it, kind of?

00:26:21.300 I know it's such an old question, but you and I don't really know each other.

00:26:24.240 I didn't know what I wanted to do.

00:26:26.220 I knew when I got out of college, I left college.

00:26:28.200 I didn't finish.

00:26:30.020 I went home for the summer, and my brother started doing improv.

00:26:33.660 And I was like, I was bouncing at the time, and I didn't know what I wanted to do.

00:26:38.240 But I didn't want to do this.

00:26:39.560 I just wanted to try something.

00:26:40.900 And I always follow him into other things.

00:26:43.420 So he'd be like, you're coming into, you know, whatever it is, you know.

00:26:46.260 So I ended up doing a small community theater play.

00:26:50.140 And I said this, you know.

00:26:51.980 Then I started doing an improv group with him and their buddies.

00:26:56.200 And I fell in love with it.

00:26:58.220 And then it just progressed into stand-up.

00:27:00.160 Now, I did my first stand-up.

00:27:01.760 First night was in 1989.

00:27:03.800 July 26, 1989.

00:27:05.620 That's how long I've been doing it.

00:27:06.600 Fuck yeah, boy.

00:27:07.200 And, no, I loved it.

00:27:09.560 I mean, and I crushed the first night I ever did it, which I'm thankful for.

00:27:15.340 Yeah.

00:27:15.520 Because the second night, I ate it so bad with the same material.

00:27:19.020 And I didn't know, you know.

00:27:19.720 And if I would have ate it first, I think I never would have done it again.

00:27:22.980 But so I'm thankful that I did okay.

00:27:25.800 And then, no, I love it, man.

00:27:27.760 I love it.

00:27:28.260 And then, you know, just.

00:27:29.400 Was your brother weird about it, that you came in and liked his thing?

00:27:32.340 No, you know what?

00:27:33.440 I got to say, he was really cool about it.

00:27:35.680 He actually, he would tell me, you want to do this?

00:27:37.940 Okay, if you want to do this, come and do it.

00:27:39.940 And I would start to do it.

00:27:40.780 And, you know, back then, we would buy these calendars, completely empty.

00:27:44.840 And I was working at Granger.

00:27:46.940 And it was, like, my last day job.

00:27:48.680 I was, like, I wanted to get.

00:27:49.360 Granger, the equipment?

00:27:50.440 Yes.

00:27:50.880 That's what I did.

00:27:51.380 I was in the back.

00:27:52.180 It was hot as can be.

00:27:53.300 And I had to fill orders.

00:27:54.700 And I hated everything about it because it was miserable.

00:27:56.920 I was just trying to work my way up to the air conditioning.

00:27:58.860 Yeah, there's hella mice in there, too.

00:28:00.360 There's everything in there.

00:28:01.460 You know, so I'm just driving.

00:28:02.340 Hella mice.

00:28:03.160 A forklift.

00:28:04.400 And I'm working hard.

00:28:06.180 And I'm trying to get, fill my calendar with these stand-up dates.

00:28:10.600 And it would just be, like, once a week or whatever it is.

00:28:13.640 And then my brother called me one night.

00:28:15.500 And he goes, what are you doing tonight?

00:28:17.140 And I go, I'm staying home.

00:28:17.940 And he's like, what?

00:28:18.620 Because you have to sign up for, you know, open mic night.

00:28:20.900 Yeah, you got to sign up sometimes in advance or that sort of thing.

00:28:22.620 Yeah, exactly.

00:28:22.820 You got to get there early.

00:28:23.500 I go, he's like, why aren't you out at the club tonight?

00:28:25.280 And I go, I didn't get a spot.

00:28:27.020 He's like, that doesn't matter.

00:28:28.280 So what?

00:28:29.020 Why aren't you going out there making something happen?

00:28:30.620 Go look.

00:28:31.460 And, you know, somebody falls out or you meet somebody or talk to somebody.

00:28:34.920 And I'm like, all right.

00:28:35.720 And I went that night and I met somebody and I became, like, my first agent.

00:28:39.800 And so he was right, man.

00:28:40.700 He helped me, you know, a lot in that.

00:28:43.040 And he was cool with helping me out.

00:28:45.800 And he was the funny one, you said?

00:28:48.120 Yes, he was.

00:28:48.960 I mean, we're all funny.

00:28:50.020 The whole family was funny.

00:28:51.100 He was the first one to start it, like, to get going that direction.

00:28:54.100 Because it's interesting how, like, that happens.

00:28:57.220 And I was like, yeah, like, my brother was a funny guy.

00:28:59.400 And so I think that's why, like, you know, I think I'm why I wanted to be funny.

00:29:03.200 You wanted to be like that, yeah.

00:29:03.480 Yeah, I think you're just trying to, like.

00:29:04.900 Did your brother do stand-up?

00:29:06.100 No, he was just, like, probably just desperate for attention like me.

00:29:09.060 But he was also, you know, he was a funny guy.

00:29:11.300 Right.

00:29:12.340 There are a lot of funny guys I knew in school that were, like.

00:29:14.020 He didn't get a stand-up.

00:29:14.680 Oh, dude.

00:29:15.140 Right?

00:29:15.380 That would be, I'm like.

00:29:16.680 The best.

00:29:17.580 That would be the best.

00:29:18.280 And I'm so glad you didn't do it.

00:29:19.400 Like, oh, dude, my friend Scott was, like, the funniest kid to me.

00:29:22.320 And I'm like, I am.

00:29:23.560 Some of the people are like, Dio, you're funny.

00:29:24.820 I'm like, dude, I, there's so many people who just never really just went and did it.

00:29:30.140 Yeah.

00:29:30.620 Because, I mean, honestly, being funny with your company and making that leap to doing it in front of people and developing.

00:29:36.800 It is a different thing, though.

00:29:38.020 Yeah.

00:29:38.100 It's like you've got to create it and kind of get used to.

00:29:40.660 It's a different animal, right?

00:29:42.140 When you're.

00:29:42.580 Oh, yeah.

00:29:42.960 Because I know my buddies are so funny.

00:29:46.400 I got a buddy who's so funny.

00:29:47.680 But when he doesn't, I go, do that impression in front of someone else.

00:29:50.760 He can't do it.

00:29:51.740 He folds like a house, man.

00:29:53.700 Oh, yeah.

00:29:54.520 He's just, it's rough.

00:29:55.840 It's rough.

00:29:56.320 And I look bad.

00:29:57.380 Oh, dude.

00:29:58.020 The worst is when, oh, sometimes you do look bad because of other people.

00:30:01.260 Yes.

00:30:01.400 I remember this.

00:30:02.060 I dated this girl.

00:30:03.500 She didn't know how to stand out of the way of where people were walking.

00:30:07.380 See, that would drive me, that would, that would drive me nuts.

00:30:10.440 Bro, I would have to go hide in the.

00:30:12.600 Fucking bathroom.

00:30:13.940 No, that's, that's brutal.

00:30:15.160 That's.

00:30:15.640 We'd be talking.

00:30:16.660 She would like take a step back.

00:30:17.960 I'm like, this is where all the people are walking.

00:30:20.360 And it was like, and people bump into her.

00:30:22.600 And then guys would like, you know, and then it just like, oh.

00:30:26.380 I dated a girl who would take five seconds before she would realize that a waiter is there

00:30:30.820 asking her for like something.

00:30:32.140 And every time.

00:30:32.720 And I'd have to go.

00:30:35.280 He's looking.

00:30:36.300 And she'd just be like this in a daze every time, five seconds.

00:30:39.300 And then she'd come out of it.

00:30:40.460 And I'm like, I can't go on.

00:30:41.680 I can't go on.

00:30:42.760 I couldn't be married to that.

00:30:44.180 So I was like, there's no use of me being here.

00:30:45.640 It's the little things.

00:30:46.740 Dude, I dated a girl that I was in love with.

00:30:48.220 And then we were like canoodling or snuggling or whatever they used to call it.

00:30:52.720 I think they don't call it.

00:30:53.760 I don't know why they don't call it that.

00:30:55.120 But we were canoodling, I guess now it's called.

00:30:58.240 And then.

00:30:58.820 But her head was really small.

00:31:00.440 She had big hair.

00:31:01.100 And her head was so small.

00:31:03.620 Yeah.

00:31:04.080 And I was like, I felt.

00:31:05.480 Did you like that though?

00:31:06.420 Or did you just was like, it was like a, it was a point where you go, I want to help

00:31:11.560 her and be with her.

00:31:12.460 Or, you know, or is it like that small?

00:31:14.620 Or like.

00:31:15.140 No.

00:31:15.460 Like, like a, like, like how small though?

00:31:18.420 Like it was just.

00:31:19.480 Like a ballpoint pen?

00:31:19.940 Or are we talking like.

00:31:20.880 You know what that day when you, you, you only knew about baseball and then one day you're

00:31:24.120 at PE and they show you softball.

00:31:25.580 Yes.

00:31:26.040 Okay.

00:31:26.900 And you get that ball and you're like, what the, what is this?

00:31:30.000 You know?

00:31:30.680 And you're like, oh, this is like a baseball with like intestinal issues or whatever.

00:31:34.200 Right.

00:31:34.320 You know what I'm saying?

00:31:34.840 Like.

00:31:35.060 It's, it's, it's, yeah, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a baseball with inflammation and.

00:31:39.640 Yes.

00:31:39.980 Yes.

00:31:40.220 It's a baseball that has, yeah, that has not had proper dieting.

00:31:44.940 I, I, my heart melts for the physical things more, but I dated a girl once who would just

00:31:50.240 say the phrase, rattle your cage every time she's like, Hey, and I'm like, what are you

00:31:56.280 doing?

00:31:56.860 And she's like, I'm just calling a rattle your cage.

00:31:59.460 And I'm like, I can't go on.

00:32:03.680 That's a buddy of mine.

00:32:04.780 It's Joe.

00:32:05.100 He's up.

00:32:05.660 Oh, it is.

00:32:06.180 Oh, it happened to a buddy of mine, but that's, that is a thing that I would, I

00:32:09.840 would literally get out of.

00:32:10.880 Yeah.

00:32:11.100 I'd be out.

00:32:11.500 Wouldn't that be something like that?

00:32:12.560 She goes, Hey, just calling to rattle your cage.

00:32:14.220 I would.

00:32:14.860 No, no.

00:32:16.100 Rattle my phone against the wall.

00:32:18.580 I would rattle my fricking head out of off a balcony.

00:32:21.820 I love it.

00:32:22.340 Dude.

00:32:22.640 Yes.

00:32:22.960 I would also, I dated a girl.

00:32:26.240 We would be sleeping.

00:32:27.620 She'd get up in the middle of the night, put a bunch of M&Ms and chocolate in her mouth

00:32:30.920 and come right back in her fucking bed.

00:32:34.600 She said like, sometimes I can't fall back asleep unless there's chocolate in my mouth.

00:32:37.520 And I was like, that's crazy.

00:32:39.500 Yeah.

00:32:40.240 There's a lot of problems with that.

00:32:41.760 But it was, that was crazy, dude.

00:32:43.440 I had had a girl who made me roll her up in a blanket so she could go to bed at night.

00:32:47.160 Like kind of.

00:32:47.460 Dorito style?

00:32:47.660 Yeah.

00:32:48.300 Or like the lumpia.

00:32:49.680 Yeah.

00:32:49.960 No way.

00:32:50.440 Like the lumpia.

00:32:51.160 Yeah.

00:32:51.420 I had a girl just, I didn't even realize that till just now.

00:32:54.120 Did you have to unroll her in the morning or you just left in?

00:32:56.280 No?

00:32:57.020 You just leave her?

00:32:58.460 Look, dude, I didn't even know her that well.

00:33:00.040 You can't get out.

00:33:01.280 Yeah.

00:33:01.580 Yeah.

00:33:02.100 Well, she's.

00:33:02.560 You get out on your own wrist.

00:33:03.360 She doesn't have claustrophobic issues though.

00:33:05.000 You know that.

00:33:05.460 So if you're ever stuck in an elevator with her, she's, you're the one, she's the one

00:33:09.000 you want to be with.

00:33:09.660 She's dynamite.

00:33:10.460 Yeah.

00:33:10.600 You're right.

00:33:10.920 I need to look at the other side of the coin.

00:33:12.180 Yes.

00:33:12.580 But definitely.

00:33:13.280 There's always a bright side.

00:33:14.100 Yeah.

00:33:14.740 I sometimes get stuck on the other side and I'm like, I know it's brighter over there,

00:33:18.840 but.

00:33:19.060 Yes.

00:33:19.520 Let me mill around over here.

00:33:20.680 Yeah.

00:33:21.180 In the shadows.

00:33:21.960 You know?

00:33:22.120 Well, look at both.

00:33:22.740 I mean, little head, you know, burrito girl, all these things can be, there is a positive

00:33:28.200 side to it.

00:33:28.920 Right?

00:33:29.180 Yeah.

00:33:30.320 Oh yeah.

00:33:30.880 Yeah.

00:33:31.360 Yeah.

00:33:31.680 Dude.

00:33:31.940 I mean, her, I just, yeah, that was a lot for me, but then also I'm like, uh, I don't

00:33:36.360 know, but there's a lot of things that I think it probably kept me kind of single over the

00:33:39.360 years, you know?

00:33:40.380 Yeah.

00:33:40.640 Did you ever, did you ever try one of those matchmaking services or no?

00:33:42.940 Cause I get approached by those all the time now.

00:33:44.680 I was before them.

00:33:45.620 I think.

00:33:46.180 Yeah.

00:33:46.500 I don't know.

00:33:47.040 Maybe they existed, but, uh, I mean, I was before the, I think the internet and all that

00:33:52.140 crap, you know, I got married in 2000.

00:33:54.960 What is it?

00:33:55.760 Three or four.

00:33:56.460 Is it what was going on?

00:33:57.380 Uh, 2004, I got married was that, what was a, what was around then?

00:34:01.280 I don't even know if anything was around, but I never used it, used them anyway.

00:34:04.060 Yeah.

00:34:04.260 How would you even meet people?

00:34:04.980 Just loitering or whatever?

00:34:05.920 Yeah.

00:34:06.320 It was, uh, you know, we, we tried, uh, I mean, I met my wife on a blind date.

00:34:11.220 I went, someone set me up because, uh, Leah Remini who was on my show with me, the King

00:34:17.420 of Queens.

00:34:17.880 Yeah.

00:34:18.240 She saw that I had nobody and she set me up with, uh.

00:34:22.080 No.

00:34:22.380 So it was one of her good friends.

00:34:23.580 No, it wasn't her.

00:34:24.680 She, she set me up, she, she didn't set me up with a girl, but she did over the years

00:34:28.760 she tried to, uh, but she set me up with a, uh, house decorator because she came to my,

00:34:34.460 uh, when we had the King of Queens, I got my first place in and she saw how it was decorated

00:34:40.100 and it was terrible.

00:34:41.340 I had like prong lamps and posters.

00:34:43.300 Like I was living with my brother and it was like, she's like, no, you can't do this.

00:34:46.640 You can't decorate a half forward.

00:34:48.460 So she got a decorator for me, which I never knew about or anything like that.

00:34:51.960 It wasn't me.

00:34:52.780 And this decorator came into my life and she was a horrible decorator, but she set me up.

00:34:57.000 She really was, she wasn't great either.

00:34:58.220 I didn't like it, but she, she saw that I was lonely and like I had nobody and she,

00:35:02.320 she set me up with somebody she knew.

00:35:04.160 And then it was like, uh, it was amazing.

00:35:06.560 Did it change like that for you when you kind of realize like this is something?

00:35:09.440 Cause it's funny how you people go from a moment.

00:35:11.860 I have a friend, she's a comedian.

00:35:13.680 She was like, I don't know what's going to happen.

00:35:15.800 You know, I'm going to sell my eggs or my bury them over here or whatever, you know?

00:35:19.600 And, uh, and then out of the blue, one day I called her, she's like, yep, I'm moving to

00:35:23.700 Florida.

00:35:24.160 We're getting married.

00:35:24.860 And it's just like, it can turn on a dime.

00:35:26.820 That's the thing.

00:35:27.640 It can.

00:35:28.160 That's the thing you got to remember.

00:35:29.240 And by the way, I think it, most of the time it does when, when you're not trying, right?

00:35:32.720 I mean the thing where you're not looking, right?

00:35:35.080 I don't know.

00:35:35.520 I think for me it did.

00:35:36.680 I was just kind of long.

00:35:37.740 And she was like, try.

00:35:38.440 And I was like, ah, I'll give it a shot.

00:35:40.460 Never thinking anything would come of it.

00:35:42.340 And then I never left her.

00:35:43.920 That was it.

00:35:44.460 Did you, were you kind of a romantic guy?

00:35:46.280 Are you kind of like that guy or?

00:35:47.900 No, I don't think so.

00:35:49.580 I, I had to fake, uh, like she, she wanted to go out and, uh, we went to a sushi restaurant

00:35:54.020 the first night and I didn't, I never ate sushi.

00:35:56.920 So I, she's like, do you eat sushi?

00:35:58.600 I go, yeah.

00:35:59.400 I lied right out of the gate just for, because you know, I wanted to make things smooth and

00:36:05.240 we got there and it was, it was just a rough, it was.

00:36:08.440 Oh yeah.

00:36:08.960 Everything you don't want to eat at a sushi restaurant made an appearance, you know, it

00:36:12.900 was, it was rough and I had to fake it and get through it, but I was drinking a lot of

00:36:16.520 beer to get through it and kind of taking, I was taking it like a pill, you know, like

00:36:20.800 I would take the sushi like a pill.

00:36:22.380 Yes.

00:36:23.020 And, uh, and I got through that night, but I was lying about everything.

00:36:29.140 She's like, do you jog in the morning?

00:36:30.240 I go, I jog every morning.

00:36:31.240 I never jogged.

00:36:32.060 We started jogging.

00:36:33.020 I was like, what the, I got to keep it up.

00:36:34.880 And finally we were close enough where I go, I got to, I got to tell you some things here.

00:36:39.460 I don't do a lot of the stuff we've been doing, you know, I sit a lot more than we have been

00:36:44.740 sitting.

00:36:45.900 And, uh, I was like, and she, you know, I was in enough of the relationship though there

00:36:53.380 where she was like good with it.

00:36:54.420 You know what I'm saying?

00:36:54.740 Like we knew each other.

00:36:55.620 So she's like, okay.

00:36:56.640 And then the active things kind of fell off and it was fun.

00:37:00.620 That's cool, man.

00:37:01.500 Yeah.

00:37:02.420 You got to, yeah.

00:37:03.360 I mean, how hard are you looking right now?

00:37:05.460 Right now I'm actually trying to need to get back into it again.

00:37:07.680 I know you don't want to.

00:37:08.240 Yeah.

00:37:08.360 No, I'm actually just trying to take a step back right now and I'm just going to like

00:37:11.100 spend a little bit of time with myself and see what's kind of going on.

00:37:13.940 You working out?

00:37:14.620 You taking care of yourself?

00:37:15.600 Yeah.

00:37:15.760 I'm doing pretty good, man.

00:37:16.880 I'm fasting today.

00:37:17.880 Actually.

00:37:18.640 You fast.

00:37:19.040 I fasted yesterday.

00:37:20.000 Did you?

00:37:20.520 Yes.

00:37:20.900 Let's go.

00:37:21.520 Let's go, baby.

00:37:22.400 Dude.

00:37:22.620 Yeah.

00:37:22.840 I fasted today.

00:37:23.500 I fasted, let me see.

00:37:25.240 I did like three days last week.

00:37:26.940 I just got into it this year.

00:37:28.480 And so it's been interesting.

00:37:29.800 I feel super dehydrated today.

00:37:31.560 Yeah.

00:37:31.900 But it's like some days that happens.

00:37:33.360 That's the biggest thing.

00:37:34.200 You got to replace the water.

00:37:35.840 And by the way, if you do fast, the next day you don't go to Nashville.

00:37:40.040 It's just Nashville.

00:37:40.780 I just went to the deli here and crushed it.

00:37:42.600 It was great.

00:37:42.980 Oh, yeah?

00:37:43.480 Well, that's the thing.

00:37:44.500 Like I bounce back and forth.

00:37:45.840 I can do a day fasting.

00:37:46.960 And then the next day you should just kind of be good on your body because it's like it digested.

00:37:52.500 You digest it like it's feeling good.

00:37:54.000 And then you can't put crap back in.

00:37:55.360 So I got to stop doing that.

00:37:57.420 That's obviously the battle for me, the food.

00:37:59.220 But that's awesome that you're fasting.

00:38:00.900 Yeah.

00:38:01.220 I like it.

00:38:02.040 What do you fast for?

00:38:03.000 Because you don't need to lose weight.

00:38:03.800 So you're fasting for?

00:38:04.860 Just for health reasons.

00:38:05.680 Just because they say like autophagy your body gets into.

00:38:08.160 And then it helps fight like cancer cells and things like that.

00:38:10.740 Like your body starts taking care of itself.

00:38:11.960 And because my brain gets clear, I have noticed.

00:38:16.600 It's funny.

00:38:17.260 I just noticed this the other day.

00:38:18.600 I think I'm having dreams that seem more relevant to like direction in my life and like some sort of like information.

00:38:29.100 Not all the time, but a little bit more than just like dreaming that I'm like attacking somebody with a net, you know, like, you know, fighting a neighbor.

00:38:36.580 Exactly.

00:38:37.160 Regular shit or waiting in line or whatever.

00:38:39.200 Yes.

00:38:39.900 Yes.

00:38:40.460 But.

00:38:40.880 You have dreams of waiting in line?

00:38:42.480 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:38:43.800 Lou Ferrigno's in a lot of them.

00:38:45.420 No.

00:38:45.860 Yeah.

00:38:46.220 You and Lou Ferrigno are waiting in a line?

00:38:48.280 Yeah.

00:38:48.660 At the post office and his wife's mad at him.

00:38:50.600 No, at him or you?

00:38:52.060 Yeah, at him.

00:38:52.740 Are you in front of him or behind him?

00:38:54.540 Huh?

00:38:54.800 I'm behind him.

00:38:55.500 Yes.

00:38:55.960 Yeah, and I know it was him.

00:38:56.460 So you see it going on.

00:38:57.580 Yeah.

00:38:57.800 You see the whole relationship.

00:39:00.340 And then is the lady behind the counter going like next?

00:39:02.780 Or you never get there?

00:39:03.800 We're not that far up.

00:39:03.980 No.

00:39:04.120 You never get there.

00:39:05.200 We never get there.

00:39:05.880 Dude, that is the greatest dream of all time.

00:39:08.240 Dude, I've had, I probably had it 300 times where I finally was able.

00:39:11.260 You ever had a dream so many times?

00:39:12.440 You're just on the edge when you wake up and you're like, what?

00:39:14.380 Yeah.

00:39:14.660 I've had it so many times.

00:39:16.020 What is it?

00:39:16.720 You know?

00:39:17.400 And you're like, it's horseradish.

00:39:20.600 Yes.

00:39:21.320 Dude, yeah.

00:39:22.280 That's one of a big one for me.

00:39:23.720 I love it.

00:39:25.700 But recently I've been getting, I've just been getting a little more information.

00:39:28.100 Anyway, I just think it's, I feel clear in a lot of ways.

00:39:31.300 It's helping me feel a little bit more inspired, I think, to take care of myself

00:39:35.000 because I think it starts to show me that I'm willing to make some sacrifices,

00:39:40.600 even in little ways.

00:39:42.100 That's what it is.

00:39:42.780 Yeah.

00:39:43.180 Man, that's.

00:39:44.160 Have you done it?

00:39:44.840 You're a.

00:39:45.380 Yeah.

00:39:45.940 I did fasting.

00:39:47.040 Like, I do it every once in a while I'll do it, but I did a really long one.

00:39:51.700 And it was great.

00:39:53.340 And then I got fat again.

00:39:54.640 I told Rogan this.

00:39:55.880 I did 41 and a half days.

00:39:57.560 Damn.

00:39:57.800 Just water.

00:39:58.940 And, and, and, uh, but honestly, I didn't rid myself of, like, I was doing it for,

00:40:05.200 like, different, like, spiritual reasons.

00:40:07.140 Like, I wanted to clear out everything.

00:40:09.180 And because the whole journey I was watching, like, food, pictures of food and going,

00:40:15.960 this is what I'm going to eat when I'm done.

00:40:17.160 I can't wait to get back there.

00:40:18.060 I never really broke the habit of going, I don't need food.

00:40:20.700 It doesn't matter.

00:40:21.480 I would feed, you know, I would cook food for my kids and the smell of food.

00:40:25.340 I'd be like, Hey, can I make you a sandwich?

00:40:26.720 Because I was living through that and I wouldn't eat it.

00:40:29.080 And I was fine with that, but I needed to see the food and hold it.

00:40:31.960 I'd smell it, you know, and then I, and I hand it off and, um, it didn't break the,

00:40:38.880 the real bind.

00:40:40.060 You know what I'm saying?

00:40:40.480 The, the, the, the cord of, of being detached from, from stuff, you know?

00:40:45.340 And that's what I got to do in my life with everything, you know?

00:40:47.260 Cause I'm, I'm addicted, a guy, like, I'll just be like, Oh, I got to cut it off.

00:40:51.860 That's it.

00:40:52.840 Yeah.

00:40:53.140 I think that's what I'm doing.

00:40:53.920 I'm kind of do trying to do with dating right now is just like, let me take a break from

00:40:56.840 like, cause if I put myself into a moment over here and I'm engaged, I mean this over here

00:41:01.600 and then I'm going on maybe a date that I'm not interested in, but maybe over here, somebody

00:41:04.640 I am interested in, but now I don't have time cause I'm kind of dividing it up.

00:41:07.340 And then I'm like, I'm like, let me just see what's going on, you know, here at the

00:41:13.620 factory, you know?

00:41:14.580 Yeah.

00:41:15.160 By the way, I had a dream that I was on the ledge of a building and I'm falling.

00:41:19.180 I've had this one a few times.

00:41:20.340 I'm falling, but I never leave the ledge.

00:41:22.520 I'm just yelling the whole time.

00:41:23.640 Like I'm falling down.

00:41:24.960 You know what I'm saying?

00:41:26.220 So I'm like, ah, but I didn't, I never jumped.

00:41:29.600 I'm just looking.

00:41:30.640 Yeah.

00:41:31.060 And then I wake up.

00:41:32.120 That one comes back.

00:41:33.040 Anyway, I just want to throw that in there.

00:41:34.480 Fuck.

00:41:34.820 And I'd be so pissed if I'm down there.

00:41:36.200 I'm like, what is this?

00:41:37.200 Yeah.

00:41:38.060 Look at this poser.

00:41:39.340 Yes, exactly.

00:41:40.340 You're looking like, is he doing it?

00:41:41.560 He's just yelling.

00:41:42.460 He's giving, you know, he's got all the accoutrement, but no, no fall.

00:41:46.220 Dude, the weird guy at a suicide dump is the guy who's just waiting down there for the

00:41:50.340 guy to jump.

00:41:51.020 Yes.

00:41:51.280 They're just like this, not doing anything.

00:41:52.580 Arrest him.

00:41:53.040 Yeah.

00:41:53.360 That's what you should do because this guy's not either helping or, or, or pushing, you

00:41:57.720 know, either one, he's not doing anything.

00:41:59.700 Either run upstairs, do something, make a move, but he's just waiting.

00:42:03.860 Yeah.

00:42:04.180 These are the people in life we don't need.

00:42:05.420 Eating and the guy that's eating and waiting.

00:42:07.140 Eating.

00:42:07.660 If you get nachos and, and you're pulling up and you're waiting for a guy to jump.

00:42:12.540 Yeah.

00:42:12.760 You're like, hey, hey, hey, hey.

00:42:13.420 No, I can't.

00:42:14.060 Give me, give me 30 seconds.

00:42:15.260 Let me grab those nachos.

00:42:16.200 Oh.

00:42:17.540 Ledge.

00:42:18.000 To dream of standing on a ledge represents being on the verge of something.

00:42:21.540 Is it?

00:42:21.880 You or someone else may be very close to finally making a big decision.

00:42:27.480 You may be feeling tense or experiencing anxiety about a difficult change.

00:42:31.000 Alternatively, a ledge may reflect how close you or someone else isn't close to going in

00:42:34.620 a far switch.

00:42:35.380 Wow.

00:42:35.800 Shit.

00:42:36.220 I fucked.

00:42:36.900 I messed up the sentence.

00:42:37.640 That's okay.

00:42:38.340 It doesn't make, because you know what?

00:42:40.080 It still kind of hits the area.

00:42:41.980 You know what I'm saying?

00:42:42.660 I kind of got the gist of it.

00:42:43.820 Yeah.

00:42:43.960 Thanks.

00:42:45.620 Yeah.

00:42:45.940 Rogan's crazy.

00:42:46.640 Had you been on his show before?

00:42:47.840 I did Joe's show.

00:42:48.820 And I've known Joe for, got to be 35, maybe more than 35 years.

00:42:53.680 I think we met him.

00:42:54.300 Oh, wow.

00:42:54.880 Well, what's 1990?

00:42:56.120 No, maybe 34 years.

00:42:57.220 What is it?

00:42:58.700 1990 is 36 years.

00:43:02.020 Right, 26.

00:43:03.000 That's so wild.

00:43:04.080 Yeah.

00:43:04.800 Yeah.

00:43:05.040 I, uh, he's the one who got me, I mean, really with my manager and he's just, uh, he's always

00:43:11.900 been the guy that's just like, go follow your own path.

00:43:15.520 And, you know, he was the one who got me out of, yeah, he got me out of.

00:43:19.060 Did he always seem so confident?

00:43:21.120 Yeah, he did.

00:43:22.420 He just did.

00:43:23.940 Um, he was the one who got me out of, I was the standup comedian behind the mic with the,

00:43:30.140 you know, the, the sleeves pushed up and the bolo tie.

00:43:33.040 I don't know if you remember these comics, these comics where the jackets, the funny

00:43:36.100 jackets, the color.

00:43:37.520 And he just wasn't that guy.

00:43:38.600 He was just a hat backwards guy and just go out there.

00:43:41.420 And he always telling me like, don't, I was always like so desperate to get laughs and

00:43:44.960 trying so hard.

00:43:46.160 And he was like, you know, don't, don't give them your jokes on the platter.

00:43:50.040 Like he was one who told me like, basically make them comfortable and knowing that whatever

00:43:55.060 you say, you know, is funny.

00:43:56.840 And if they don't know it, like they got to catch up and be part of it, you know?

00:43:59.900 Right.

00:44:00.040 Don't make it about the jokes.

00:44:00.860 Make it be you.

00:44:01.500 Yes.

00:44:01.820 Yes.

00:44:02.500 Yeah.

00:44:02.680 And he, he was such an, uh, influence on.

00:44:06.400 So was he, did other people see him?

00:44:07.880 Cause now people see him.

00:44:08.920 I mean, and I certainly do like as a, you know, I don't know if it's a pioneer as much,

00:44:13.900 but like, I mean, he's the best in his space, like in podcasting, his standup is just, I

00:44:18.560 mean, he's just a killer.

00:44:19.840 Like he's always been, you know, he's always, he just was like, he's super, super intense

00:44:25.120 in anything he did.

00:44:26.240 Like once he locks on doing it, I think just seems so confident.

00:44:28.980 I told him, I think like when he, I think God's going to make him one of the greatest

00:44:33.740 saints of the 21st century.

00:44:35.500 I really do.

00:44:36.060 I think this guy, and I keep saying, because God's going to use him.

00:44:39.200 He's like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

00:44:40.800 He just goes and he seeks truth.

00:44:42.980 And he's a guy that is just like, when he seeks it, he knows it's true.

00:44:46.560 He, he's unrelenting.

00:44:47.860 Like he just doesn't stop.

00:44:49.340 And it's like, that's who, like he, he'll go social.

00:44:51.240 He's, he's crazy.

00:44:52.900 Like I knew it was martial arts, his jiu-jitsu.

00:44:56.220 We started, he started jiu-jitsu together, by the way.

00:44:58.600 I'm a blue belt.

00:44:59.860 I'm a blue belt 30 something years.

00:45:02.480 He's crazy black belt.

00:45:04.140 He's beyond, you know.

00:45:04.760 He's dark black belt.

00:45:05.900 Dude, he's so, he's, he's a.

00:45:08.200 He's cafe de negron.

00:45:09.260 He is badass.

00:45:10.660 He is the real deal.

00:45:11.700 He really is.

00:45:12.520 And, uh, and he was getting into the internet before anybody and just searching these things

00:45:18.140 in truth.

00:45:18.780 And that, that, I mean, he was crazy about it.

00:45:21.120 And I was just like, I never, I'm always behind the curve, way behind it.

00:45:25.620 Well, we need sleep.

00:45:26.680 I think he's like the kind of guy.

00:45:28.700 He's like, I don't know.

00:45:29.460 He always just seems to me like he's so, and he and I know, he and I know each other pretty

00:45:33.960 well now.

00:45:34.860 Um, but he's just, he's always go, he's always go.

00:45:37.620 And he's so curious and he remembers everything.

00:45:40.140 That's the craziest thing.

00:45:41.000 You can't lie to him because he remembers everything.

00:45:43.680 So you're about to lie and you're like, oh shit.

00:45:45.680 No, he's, and he'll call you out.

00:45:47.080 That's what I love about it.

00:45:48.300 Like, you know, even me, like I'm there, I know him for 30, 36 years now.

00:45:53.540 Uh, even doing his podcast, it's like, you gotta be careful.

00:45:57.200 Cause he'll be like, what?

00:45:58.080 What do you mean?

00:45:58.600 And it's like a dog, you know, it's a, it's a dog that caught you and you're like, not,

00:46:02.480 you know, and you gotta come, you know, but I love that.

00:46:05.180 Cause he's in, there's such an innocence behind that.

00:46:07.800 He just wants to know the truth.

00:46:08.740 He's like, that's not true.

00:46:09.600 You didn't say that or you didn't do it.

00:46:11.440 So you gotta be careful.

00:46:12.440 He's kind of an oracle.

00:46:13.420 Like, I don't know if it's an oracle, but he's kind of like a mirror of something.

00:46:16.820 You know what I'm saying?

00:46:17.560 There is something about that.

00:46:18.960 I think it's super, I totally believe that.

00:46:20.960 Some people give him a hard time, whatever.

00:46:22.400 But to me, he's always seemed very altruistic as just to who he is, you know, or trying to

00:46:26.640 be the best of who he is.

00:46:27.560 That's it.

00:46:27.880 And it's not, everybody falls, everybody makes mistakes, you know, and does things wrong.

00:46:31.880 But I know this guy is searching for truth and he's always just calling it out.

00:46:39.740 He's an astronaut, man.

00:46:40.940 He's everything.

00:46:41.660 Dude, yeah.

00:46:42.020 I was at the UFC the other day and he brings these big bags of beef snacks and it's just

00:46:46.820 beef and salt that's dried out beef.

00:46:49.840 And he brings-

00:46:50.260 Cause he wants to get down from 2% to 1% body fat?

00:46:53.160 Is that it?

00:46:53.860 Yeah.

00:46:54.480 He's doing something.

00:46:55.680 Wow.

00:46:55.940 He's always over there fucking, you know, drinking fucking bat saliva or something, doing

00:47:00.280 something, trying to get an upper.

00:47:01.720 Yeah.

00:47:02.060 But anyway, yeah, there it is.

00:47:03.280 Carnivore snacks.

00:47:04.120 So he has three bags and he gave one to Daniel Cormier and then Daniel traded one of his

00:47:11.240 and-

00:47:12.460 Traded for what?

00:47:13.940 I had a tub of popcorn.

00:47:17.220 And he couldn't keep away from it.

00:47:18.940 Oh, I love it.

00:47:20.300 He's like, my hand just keeps ending up in there.

00:47:22.760 DC.

00:47:23.800 Yeah.

00:47:24.240 But anyway, that was pretty great too.

00:47:25.400 But I got to eat a whole bag of those beef snacks by myself.

00:47:28.100 You know what?

00:47:28.520 They're really good.

00:47:29.360 They're not too salty so you don't get like, like chip fatigue, you know?

00:47:33.180 Right.

00:47:33.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:34.120 You don't get chip fatigue?

00:47:35.040 Well, some of it's like you're chewing on the top of a shoe and it's just tiring.

00:47:39.380 It's exhausting for the teeth.

00:47:40.780 Oh, and it's not like jerky.

00:47:42.300 Jerky to me sometimes at a certain point seems like, what are we doing here?

00:47:45.380 Yes.

00:47:45.840 It's a give up.

00:47:46.600 You give up.

00:47:47.360 Yeah.

00:47:48.140 But this is nothing like that.

00:47:50.360 That's cool.

00:47:51.120 Yeah.

00:47:51.460 And it feels kind of carnivorous, I guess, in a sense.

00:47:53.660 Yeah.

00:47:54.080 I enjoyed it.

00:47:55.060 Right.

00:47:55.880 But it's fun just seeing them over there with their snacks.

00:47:58.200 But sometimes you'll see Daniel Cormier over there.

00:48:00.000 He'll have a thing of summer sausage.

00:48:01.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:02.380 And it's freaking February.

00:48:03.780 He dips.

00:48:04.660 Yeah.

00:48:04.840 And he's over there just slicing it off, you know?

00:48:06.860 I love it.

00:48:07.400 I love it.

00:48:08.520 He's a good man.

00:48:09.560 He's like me in that he loves his food.

00:48:12.100 He likes snacks.

00:48:12.500 I golf with, yeah.

00:48:14.260 Are you golf with him?

00:48:15.180 I did golf with him and Chris Wybin.

00:48:16.820 Chris Wybin loves you too, by the way.

00:48:18.100 Chris Wybin's a cool guy.

00:48:19.180 Yeah, he loves you.

00:48:19.840 I know Chris for a Long Island guy.

00:48:21.860 So he's the greatest.

00:48:23.060 Oh, yeah?

00:48:23.660 Yeah.

00:48:24.660 And-

00:48:24.760 Did you ever-

00:48:25.720 So whenever you were training, was he training too then?

00:48:27.540 Always training with him in their group.

00:48:29.360 Ray Long going over there.

00:48:30.520 Dude, that's cool.

00:48:31.960 Yeah.

00:48:32.160 Yeah, they're fun.

00:48:33.160 They're a fun group.

00:48:34.100 Long Island's tough guys, man.

00:48:35.620 A lot of good guys came out of Long Island.

00:48:37.440 Yeah.

00:48:37.760 So, no, but it was, it's, you know, fun.

00:48:40.220 Him and DC, we all went out and golfed and had a blast and, oh, does that me next to Wybin?

00:48:46.540 Yeah, Wybin's-

00:48:47.320 That's you?

00:48:48.500 Wybin is hilarious, dude.

00:48:49.720 He's got the best energy, bro.

00:48:51.300 Yeah.

00:48:51.680 He's a great guy.

00:48:52.640 He's incredible.

00:48:54.020 And, yeah, he-

00:48:56.360 They have a great show now that they do too.

00:48:58.360 Yes.

00:48:58.920 He was just telling me that.

00:48:59.920 They're doing more and more with him.

00:49:01.420 And I said, man, I'm so happy that he stopped fighting.

00:49:03.980 I want a mole to stop fighting because I don't want anybody to get hurt.

00:49:06.500 Like, you get to know all these guys.

00:49:08.220 You're like, please don't fight anymore.

00:49:09.740 I can't.

00:49:10.320 That's why I stopped watching.

00:49:11.200 I don't go anymore.

00:49:12.140 I used to go all the time.

00:49:12.920 Oh, you did?

00:49:13.240 With Rogan.

00:49:13.660 Oh, I wouldn't.

00:49:14.800 Dude, there was no, yeah.

00:49:16.360 I would go to these fights before anybody was even there.

00:49:19.180 Oh, wow.

00:49:19.840 I would hear, you know, the stomping on the canvas.

00:49:22.420 There'd be nobody there.

00:49:23.340 Dude, that's when I go.

00:49:24.360 Yes.

00:49:24.760 I love that.

00:49:25.800 I go in the beginning.

00:49:26.900 It's quiet and you hear a crack of a, you know, a fist into a jaw or something.

00:49:30.880 And I loved every moment of it.

00:49:32.880 But I just couldn't do it anymore because I would get to know these fighters.

00:49:36.840 And I was like, I couldn't.

00:49:38.420 Randy Couture and, you know, Chuck Liddell, those fights.

00:49:42.720 I just saw Chuck Liddell.

00:49:43.500 I thought he passed away.

00:49:44.640 And I was like, holy shit.

00:49:45.500 Yeah.

00:49:45.960 No, I couldn't.

00:49:46.480 You're alive.

00:49:46.660 Oh, look at you.

00:49:47.220 You are there early.

00:49:48.440 Oh, dude, I go early a lot.

00:49:49.580 Dude, I love that.

00:49:50.460 Last time I got there too early.

00:49:52.560 I love that, man.

00:49:54.680 So you're not showing up at the main event, going in there and sitting there.

00:49:57.320 No, dude.

00:49:57.480 I just, I think this is amazing.

00:49:59.820 These are like these people that are doing the thing that they love the most.

00:50:03.120 Right.

00:50:03.340 And some of them in the earliest, they're coming out for the first time into this UFC.

00:50:07.400 Like, and they come out and nobody's there.

00:50:09.860 It's like, what do you do?

00:50:11.420 And, but dude, yeah, sometimes you see some of the best fights early.

00:50:14.280 Yep.

00:50:14.700 Yeah, I love it, dude.

00:50:15.800 Good for you.

00:50:16.460 Yeah, that was it.

00:50:17.560 And then I would start to know these fighters and I couldn't watch them anymore.

00:50:20.720 I was there with Rich Franklin when he got knocked out by Anderson Silva.

00:50:25.240 And it just, I was, there was his wife, you know, watching this and just like, you just stunned.

00:50:30.100 And I'm like, I can't do this anymore.

00:50:31.840 So I stopped going.

00:50:33.180 I couldn't do it.

00:50:34.020 I didn't want to see these guys.

00:50:34.960 And I was telling him that we, I wanted to say that I wanted to get Chris out of fighting.

00:50:38.460 Cause I was like, he's had so many surgeries, broken leg, you know, all these things.

00:50:42.460 And it's like, just, he's a good looking guy, man.

00:50:44.720 Do, do, you know, get on TV and he's funny and he's, you know, personable.

00:50:48.540 So I'm glad to see he's doing TV stuff.

00:50:50.980 Yeah.

00:50:51.300 There's a lot of great guys over there.

00:50:53.040 Angry girls.

00:50:53.780 It's been fun.

00:50:54.300 Yeah.

00:50:54.500 Being associated with that whole thing has been just so exciting just to get to go watch

00:50:58.420 it, you know, um, do you train?

00:51:01.380 No, I trained for a little while and then I just kept getting hurt.

00:51:04.260 Yeah.

00:51:04.540 It's like my ribs.

00:51:05.680 And I'd be having like in some fucking huge guy, we'd be rolling over on me or something.

00:51:10.180 And it was just like, it was a lot.

00:51:11.380 So I think I'll do it again whenever I don't have so much responsibility.

00:51:15.080 I got to do it when, when the, when they work out the smell, you know what I'm saying?

00:51:18.580 The smell of the room.

00:51:20.020 Oh yeah.

00:51:20.540 I just, I can't do it.

00:51:21.740 Not at 60.

00:51:22.480 Like when I was younger, I was like, Hey, you got to be able to, it doesn't matter what

00:51:25.440 it is.

00:51:25.740 You know, it's 60.

00:51:27.020 You go, I don't, I don't need to smell this anymore.

00:51:29.720 You hit 60.

00:51:30.900 Yeah.

00:51:31.140 I hit 60.

00:51:32.100 Can you believe that?

00:51:32.900 No, not at all.

00:51:33.880 Yes.

00:51:34.900 You're a baby.

00:51:36.020 I'm telling you, I've been around a long time.

00:51:38.300 So what I'm saying is I don't need the smell of a jujitsu room anymore.

00:51:42.380 Yeah.

00:51:42.660 I got it.

00:51:43.020 I'll do it privately.

00:51:43.780 I'll do it like that way for a while.

00:51:45.300 And once, you know, cause a wet gi, I don't think there's much worse than that going up

00:51:50.120 against a guy with a wet, right.

00:51:51.820 And you're like, and you're like, and you're in there and he's got your face and he's cranking

00:51:55.560 it and, and all you got is like, like wet gi and, and, and chest hair.

00:52:00.820 And it's like, it's past gay.

00:52:01.940 It's past like a gay feeling.

00:52:03.420 I think a gay feeling, it's not even, it's beyond romance.

00:52:06.880 Yeah.

00:52:07.240 It's not.

00:52:07.760 Yeah.

00:52:08.040 It's, it's a control thing and it's just, yeah, it's just not good.

00:52:12.760 And he got wet and then got cold and wet.

00:52:15.180 Yes.

00:52:15.800 That's the thing.

00:52:17.220 If somebody's warm and wet, at least you're like.

00:52:19.120 It's actually a bath.

00:52:20.080 Yeah.

00:52:20.200 That feels like a little bit more like a bath would feel cold and wet is just, it's bad

00:52:25.040 and the smell.

00:52:26.360 Yeah.

00:52:26.500 That's tough stuff, dude.

00:52:27.680 Not my favorite.

00:52:28.720 Nope.

00:52:28.860 Um, we've got another segment now brought to you by Pepsi.

00:52:33.860 You saw the bear, the myth, the legend in the Superbowl commercial where he chose Pepsi

00:52:40.220 zero sugar.

00:52:41.820 And now we've got him in studio here.

00:52:46.820 What's up bear.

00:52:48.760 First off, thanks for, uh, coming.

00:52:50.920 I don't even know how you got here.

00:52:52.080 Well, actually we just had a huge freeze here.

00:52:53.580 So, uh, Oh, you can't talk.

00:52:56.720 Uh, okay.

00:52:59.340 I think what will be easiest to get to know you, I think, is if I ask you questions and

00:53:03.980 you just use these paddles, this or that.

00:53:06.520 Does that make sense to you?

00:53:08.000 Hmm.

00:53:10.100 Okay.

00:53:11.220 Uh, let's get started.

00:53:12.400 Hmm.

00:53:13.160 Okay.

00:53:13.540 I got to ask you out the gate, big dog.

00:53:16.240 This female polar bears or that thick raccoons?

00:53:22.000 Uh.

00:53:24.080 Hmm.

00:53:24.520 Female polar bears, huh?

00:53:28.520 Okay.

00:53:29.980 But if you get one of those snow racks going and shorty thick.

00:53:36.400 Okay.

00:53:37.100 Let's keep it moving.

00:53:38.400 This polar express or that Tokyo drift?

00:53:45.520 Tokyo drift, really?

00:53:47.160 Oh, yeah.

00:53:52.380 But Tom Hanks narrated polar express.

00:53:55.760 Yeah, you're right.

00:53:56.680 Kind of.

00:53:58.560 Dude, I just, this is just for me.

00:53:59.780 Have you ever had penguin?

00:54:01.840 How is it?

00:54:04.880 I knew it.

00:54:05.740 They won't let us have it.

00:54:07.280 Dude, what's your stripper name?

00:54:08.380 You think?

00:54:10.400 What do you mean?

00:54:11.220 You live at the North pole.

00:54:13.760 It's the biggest pole in the world.

00:54:14.940 You never even thought about your stripper name?

00:54:17.520 It's the last thing you ate in the street you grew up on.

00:54:21.700 Yeah, I think so.

00:54:22.580 Yours would probably be like Snow Way.

00:54:25.540 Zero Sugar.

00:54:27.880 Coming to the main glacier.

00:54:31.260 I like it.

00:54:32.280 I like it.

00:54:33.580 Zero Sugar.

00:54:34.920 That's what I'm talking about.

00:54:36.140 Get that sugar out of here, boy.

00:54:38.100 Don't be crazy around me with that sugar.

00:54:40.880 I don't want no sugar bear.

00:54:42.160 I want my bear to be sugar-free.

00:54:45.820 Sugar-free!

00:54:48.240 Sorry.

00:54:49.180 Something took over me.

00:54:50.640 Okay, that's not edible.

00:54:53.280 Or you can, I don't care.

00:54:54.500 I think we have another one.

00:54:56.340 So this, the first sip,

00:54:59.520 or that, the last sip?

00:55:10.280 All sips.

00:55:11.080 All sips.

00:55:12.160 All right, this is the last one.

00:55:13.380 This is a big one.

00:55:15.440 This, Coca-Cola Zero Sugar,

00:55:18.500 or that, Pepsi Zero Sugar.

00:55:30.940 It's the truth.

00:55:33.140 Pepsi Zero Sugar tastes better than Coca-Cola Zero Sugar.

00:55:36.900 That's his take.

00:55:38.360 That's my take.

00:55:39.640 But let your tastes decide.

00:55:44.020 Hey.

00:55:45.420 Yeah.

00:55:48.680 Jeeps, where are you going?

00:55:50.820 Oh, wherever you want, I guess.

00:55:52.420 Where does a polar bear sit?

00:55:54.520 Wherever he wants.

00:55:55.800 Yeah.

00:55:55.900 Was it hard for you to adapt to married life once you got married?

00:56:00.680 No.

00:56:01.800 No.

00:56:02.120 Once I found her, it was like, I remember I went away.

00:56:07.020 I was with her for a while.

00:56:08.760 You know, it's like, this is it.

00:56:10.280 I knew this was it.

00:56:11.160 And it wasn't because, oh, I got to get married or anything like that.

00:56:13.460 I could tell because I just didn't want to be away from her.

00:56:16.100 And I had to do, I think, a couple gigs or whatever.

00:56:19.720 I was on the road for a while, and she couldn't go.

00:56:21.580 And I just hated being away from her.

00:56:23.400 I was calling her every night, and I was like, wow, I got to get back there.

00:56:25.800 You know?

00:56:26.920 Had you had that feeling in a long time?

00:56:29.360 I hadn't.

00:56:30.260 You know, not with who I was dating and going out with.

00:56:34.180 So, no, it wasn't there.

00:56:35.560 It was totally different.

00:56:36.700 You just click on so many different levels, and it's like, it just becomes apparent.

00:56:41.280 Like, man, I need this person in my life.

00:56:43.400 This is, you know, they make me better, too.

00:56:45.500 You know what I'm saying?

00:56:46.440 They were like, that's it.

00:56:48.080 So, she's amazing that way.

00:56:50.560 So, that was it.

00:56:51.640 I was like, I'm done.

00:56:53.080 I'm happy.

00:56:54.120 Gosh.

00:56:54.680 Oh, that's a great thing to say.

00:56:55.940 Yeah.

00:56:56.320 No, I am.

00:56:57.080 It's amazing.

00:56:58.460 Yeah, when you get excited, when you see your wife, you get excited, you give her a hug?

00:57:02.300 It's, yeah, I'll give her a hug.

00:57:06.460 But sometimes, you know, it's also, it's not, you know, all the time, it's not crazy romantic all the time.

00:57:10.820 You know?

00:57:10.960 Oh, yeah.

00:57:11.380 It's life.

00:57:12.020 You know, you're tired.

00:57:12.900 It's like, eh.

00:57:13.860 You know, you just pass each other sometimes.

00:57:15.620 It's, you know, it's a fist bump.

00:57:17.520 It's like, all right, get out of here.

00:57:18.840 Whatever it is.

00:57:19.580 But I miss her this morning.

00:57:21.220 She left this morning.

00:57:22.320 You know, we were out last night.

00:57:23.240 And then I was like, wow.

00:57:25.240 You know, it's, you know you're going to have all those feelings.

00:57:31.400 It's, you know, all the emotions and everything.

00:57:36.900 And all the cooking or this, that, the things that you love them so much about, it's a balance of them all.

00:57:43.840 It's everything.

00:57:44.580 It's the good.

00:57:45.140 It's the bad.

00:57:46.340 And you just realize, overall, it's like, I never want to be without them.

00:57:50.160 You know, even in the worst moments.

00:57:52.360 It's like, so you know that.

00:57:53.680 And it's real.

00:57:54.940 You think you can fall on, like, a different type of love when you're, like, in your late 30s or as you get older than you can when you're younger, you think?

00:58:02.720 First, for me, I think I matured.

00:58:05.100 I'm still not that mature.

00:58:06.140 You know, I'm 60.

00:58:06.940 And it's like, so I still think like a kid, like an idiot.

00:58:09.360 So for me, I'm glad it happened later.

00:58:12.360 You know, some people are able to know what they want when they're younger and much more mature.

00:58:18.720 I was not there, you know?

00:58:21.280 Yeah, I think, and your career might not have happened the same.

00:58:24.120 Yeah, that's for sure.

00:58:26.000 I needed to be kind of by myself and get it going.

00:58:29.120 Because you would have left your family all the time to go, it would have just been really different.

00:58:32.640 It would have been rough for sure.

00:58:34.380 Yeah.

00:58:35.280 So I'm glad I got the grind out.

00:58:37.460 Now I take them with me if I'm, you know, doing a movie.

00:58:39.500 You know, I'm never away from them for that long, which is good.

00:58:42.320 Do you miss some of those days, like the road days back in the day?

00:58:44.940 Like, are there any of them that you kind of romanticize a little bit?

00:58:47.640 I still do them.

00:58:48.380 You know, it's like the days.

00:58:49.980 But I mean, like clubs that weren't just like, you know, I'm talking about like, you know.

00:58:54.080 Staying in the condo and all that stuff.

00:58:55.340 Yeah, yeah.

00:58:56.080 Like, did you ever stay in Mishawaka?

00:58:56.920 Did you stay in condos?

00:58:57.840 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:58:58.620 You did?

00:58:59.120 You ever stay in Mishawaka over there?

00:59:00.480 Where's that?

00:59:01.020 No.

00:59:01.240 Indiana, like right outside of Notre Dame.

00:59:04.540 It's right there.

00:59:05.140 No.

00:59:05.740 Oh, yes.

00:59:06.200 But I mean, crazy, crappy condos and stuff like that.

00:59:09.000 But it was exciting.

00:59:09.680 It was me, my brother, a couple other guys, comedians that were, you know, Rogan, you know,

00:59:15.620 but never went on the road with Rogan.

00:59:18.560 But yeah, it was great.

00:59:20.660 It was fun.

00:59:22.180 You know, you stay at casinos.

00:59:23.940 Like, I used to play the Tropicana in Vegas.

00:59:28.260 Vegas, yeah.

00:59:28.520 And I never gambled.

00:59:30.700 I'd never been to Vegas.

00:59:31.680 And I remember losing my week.

00:59:34.000 You go there for a week.

00:59:35.180 You do two shows a night for seven days, man.

00:59:38.100 You have to eat downstairs with the staff.

00:59:39.940 Yes, exactly.

00:59:40.800 And sometimes there's no food, and they're asking you for food.

00:59:42.740 Yes.

00:59:43.100 Yeah, exactly.

00:59:43.900 It's rough.

00:59:45.180 But you're excited to be there.

00:59:47.960 It was like 103 degrees.

00:59:50.320 This is, I remember when O.J., when they were chasing O.J., I was in Vegas at the Tropicana.

00:59:55.720 And we were drinking.

00:59:57.240 We got to, you're staying in your hotel.

00:59:59.320 You got no, I think you're getting maybe, I don't know how much money you're getting.

01:00:03.480 But I lost, in the first night, I've lost my entire week's worth of money.

01:00:07.500 I'm not kidding.

01:00:08.300 So we got a case of Bud Light Ice, which was the beer then.

01:00:12.000 It was so good and frosty at a gas station.

01:00:14.180 Oh, I remember that beer.

01:00:14.780 Do you remember that?

01:00:15.440 Yeah, they discontinued it.

01:00:16.400 It was great, though.

01:00:17.180 Yes.

01:00:17.400 I liked it.

01:00:18.200 I did, too.

01:00:19.060 God.

01:00:19.280 Bud Light Ice.

01:00:20.480 And bring up a picture of it.

01:00:21.740 At least let's see it.

01:00:21.820 Can you please?

01:00:22.540 Something would have looked like?

01:00:23.820 And they had, there was something, Dog, at the same time.

01:00:27.280 Oh, yeah.

01:00:27.800 Red Dog.

01:00:28.320 Red Dog or something.

01:00:29.040 Yes.

01:00:30.220 I love that.

01:00:30.880 You know that.

01:00:31.300 Red Dog was disgusting.

01:00:32.600 It was supposed to be for, like, disabled families.

01:00:33.660 Bud Light Ice.

01:00:34.200 There you go.

01:00:34.980 We got a case of that.

01:00:36.080 Yes.

01:00:36.280 We had a chat in my hotel room, and we just pounded it, and it was, like, still 103 degrees

01:00:41.360 at night.

01:00:41.920 I remember that, and OJ was being chased or whatever.

01:00:44.820 It was just crazy.

01:00:45.660 Dude, I remember.

01:00:46.280 I would be in my hotel.

01:00:47.680 I remember this one hotel I stayed at.

01:00:49.400 I think it was in, or outside of Syracuse, in, like, Liberty, New York or something.

01:00:53.800 Mm-hmm.

01:00:54.020 And they gave you a cup of water, and it was filled up.

01:00:59.820 When I got in the room, it was, like, a cup of water.

01:01:01.560 I was, like, it wasn't even, like, a bottle of water, and I was, like, this is-

01:01:04.340 Oh, that was for you?

01:01:05.160 Yeah.

01:01:05.320 If you're a hotel?

01:01:05.880 Yeah.

01:01:06.080 Like, if you're thirsty, we poured you a cup of water and put it in there.

01:01:09.160 Did you stay in some rough places?

01:01:10.680 Yeah, just places where you, like, would have to walk on the interstate to get there, whatever,

01:01:14.300 like, a highway to get there.

01:01:15.520 Just some places that were a little bit, like, what is going on here?

01:01:18.100 I drove eight hours to a gig that I had to do.

01:01:22.280 One gig, it was one night.

01:01:23.940 I was making, like, no money.

01:01:25.780 I get there early before the gig, and it's a crappy motel-type thing.

01:01:33.240 I pull the bed back, because I'm tired, just drove eight hours, gonna take a nap before

01:01:37.600 the show.

01:01:38.280 Yeah.

01:01:39.200 There's a roach in the blanket.

01:01:42.000 I mean, I don't even know what it was.

01:01:43.260 It was this big.

01:01:44.660 I literally just put the blanket back.

01:01:46.620 I went to the show.

01:01:48.060 I just sat in my car in the parking lot until the thing was ready.

01:01:51.060 Did the show.

01:01:52.240 Drove home eight hours, man.

01:01:53.980 I'm not staying with a roach.

01:01:56.060 Couldn't do it.

01:01:57.180 There's some miserable places.

01:01:59.180 Yeah, dude.

01:01:59.800 I remember we would, to save, like, $100, you'd fly into a city that was, like, four

01:02:03.980 hours.

01:02:04.520 Like, if you could figure out the math.

01:02:06.120 Yes, yes.

01:02:06.360 And then drive here and get a ride.

01:02:08.580 Then you're like, oh, I'll just finish a show.

01:02:10.140 I'll drive and catch a flight out of Indianapolis at 5, 8.

01:02:12.860 It's just, like, everything was, like, just.

01:02:15.080 Did you have a buddy, like, a comic buddy that you'd go with, or you were by yourself?

01:02:18.780 I didn't.

01:02:19.260 I was out there, and I'd always pee in the bed.

01:02:20.820 I'd always pee on my cell phone once it came out.

01:02:23.180 So I'd miss certain calls or wake-up alarms.

01:02:26.000 Back that up.

01:02:26.940 Ugh.

01:02:27.260 Wait a second.

01:02:28.100 What did you say?

01:02:28.860 I would wet the bed.

01:02:30.620 You would wet the bed?

01:02:31.980 Yeah, I'd wet the bed, man.

01:02:33.040 First of all, let's start with this one first, and then we'll back it in there.

01:02:35.760 Why is your cell phone in the bed?

01:02:37.100 Can you put it on the counter?

01:02:38.240 No.

01:02:38.520 No.

01:02:39.000 I'd fall asleep.

01:02:39.340 Put it on the counter.

01:02:40.640 That's not that close.

01:02:41.620 You shouldn't have that close to you anyway.

01:02:43.020 Put that on there.

01:02:43.760 And by the way, you won't pee on it then.

01:02:45.500 But why are you wetting the bed?

01:02:47.260 I was wetting the bed, man.

01:02:48.040 Were you drunk or just letting it go?

01:02:49.160 I was drunk, and I wet the bed for a long time.

01:02:51.760 Okay.

01:02:52.360 I was in it.

01:02:52.900 Just because you got used to it when you were younger, and you're like, let's just keep

01:02:55.700 going with this?

01:02:56.120 I can't remember, dude.

01:02:57.540 I just think I just was always so nervous.

01:03:00.860 Yeah.

01:03:01.200 And whenever I was asleep, at some point, finally, I wasn't nervous, and my body's like, well,

01:03:05.020 this is when we got to urinate, you know?

01:03:06.800 You seem like a guy that operates from a place of fear, right?

01:03:09.720 Everything in fear.

01:03:10.280 Like, I'm that way.

01:03:11.280 I don't know about you, but I get worried about everything, or you're not worried about

01:03:14.320 everything.

01:03:14.560 Oh, I would get worried.

01:03:15.900 Like, if I'm with a girl, and there's like a moment of silence, it makes me so fucking-

01:03:19.280 You gotta fill that.

01:03:19.980 I get so scared.

01:03:20.900 Yeah.

01:03:21.540 I'm like, I just don't want to give her room not to-

01:03:23.280 Like, it was almost like-

01:03:24.420 I'm that way.

01:03:24.980 If there's any space here, she'll not like me.

01:03:27.480 That's exactly it.

01:03:27.920 I don't want to give her room not to-

01:03:28.880 So you gotta fill that space up.

01:03:30.360 Yeah.

01:03:30.760 And I would do it with one word for the next-

01:03:33.820 So it's like, if we were talking, I'm like, yeah, I went to the game with my brother,

01:03:38.480 and it was a lot of fun.

01:03:39.340 And then it gets quiet, and I would go because-

01:03:42.200 And I would say because-

01:03:43.400 To give you moments to start.

01:03:44.760 Yes.

01:03:45.300 But I don't know what I'm saying.

01:03:46.400 And she's like, what do you mean?

01:03:47.260 And I'm like, because-

01:03:48.120 And I'm like, in my head, I'm like, hey, because-

01:03:50.380 You gotta follow with something if you say because-

01:03:53.440 Yeah.

01:03:53.920 So I was like, because-

01:03:54.760 You know, we just like the team that was playing.

01:03:58.260 Something.

01:03:58.740 And then it's like dead again, and I'm like, I do another one.

01:04:01.260 So-

01:04:01.440 And it's just those little words, like, just shut up, man.

01:04:04.100 Sit in the pocket.

01:04:05.220 I can't sit in the pocket.

01:04:06.540 I can't sit in the pocket.

01:04:08.260 Dude, it's the same with baseball.

01:04:09.440 I would get up there, I would swing three times, four even fucking through it,

01:04:12.540 and I would go sit down.

01:04:13.960 Yes.

01:04:14.240 And if they had a problem with it-

01:04:15.780 I love it.

01:04:16.760 I'm going home.

01:04:17.360 I like it.

01:04:17.660 My mom would sit in the distance, she would be in the van, and she would honk.

01:04:20.780 She's like, if you don't hit it, we're fucking leaving.

01:04:22.920 I love it.

01:04:23.680 And she'd be gone, dude.

01:04:25.780 I never hit it.

01:04:27.280 Dude, I love that.

01:04:28.280 I never hit it, dude.

01:04:29.260 But yeah, there's something about that moment where it's like, I just can't.

01:04:33.800 And especially if it's like looking at a woman in the eyes, too, that's always been like super tough.

01:04:37.700 It's just like something that's like, yeah, I just always had a tough time with that, but I can't let there be a thing.

01:04:42.540 Well, I couldn't, if the woman didn't, like, in high school or even beyond, I had to know the girl.

01:04:49.480 Like, she had to come over to me.

01:04:50.720 Like, I could never be one of those guys that go up.

01:04:53.120 I'd be like, ask my friend.

01:04:54.340 She's like, she likes you.

01:04:55.360 Go talk to her.

01:04:55.920 You know, I couldn't talk to her.

01:04:57.620 I'd walk around her in a big circle.

01:04:59.140 Oh, gosh.

01:04:59.820 Yes, that's funny.

01:05:00.700 That's great, though.

01:05:01.420 That's, yes.

01:05:01.860 That's insane, though.

01:05:02.760 That's marking your territory, and you're trying to go in, and you don't even know how to do it.

01:05:07.120 Yeah, I would need her to come over, and I would need confirmation of, yes, I like you.

01:05:12.700 Yes.

01:05:13.440 Let's go out.

01:05:14.220 You know, I couldn't.

01:05:15.520 I'd be like, you sure?

01:05:16.300 I'd give her every out.

01:05:17.280 Like, we don't have to do this if you don't want to go out.

01:05:19.880 Are you okay?

01:05:20.500 That's what I always, if anybody hangs out with me, a lot of them are always like, are you okay?

01:05:23.580 Yeah.

01:05:24.380 I don't even do it on purpose.

01:05:26.160 There's a part of me that just asks them that.

01:05:28.060 Yeah.

01:05:28.600 But, yeah, dude.

01:05:29.300 It's a sweetness, man, but it's a worry that you're not good enough, right?

01:05:32.500 I mean, I-

01:05:32.900 Oh, I'm sure, and I think it's not even on the front of my thoughts anymore, but it's still just this old thing that's just built in me, you know?

01:05:39.560 I've had it my whole life.

01:05:40.120 But that looking in the eyes, like, yeah, I couldn't look a woman in the eye.

01:05:42.980 Just like, I don't know what it is if they- I don't know what I'm afraid they're going to see, you know?

01:05:49.340 They're just going to see that something's wrong with me, probably, or something, you know, or I'm going to see them.

01:05:54.580 Here's what I think it is, too.

01:05:56.040 I'm going to see them see that something's wrong with me, right?

01:06:01.300 You would look for signs.

01:06:02.640 She saw me just like, she knows I'm weak.

01:06:06.260 Right, I'll know the look in her eyes.

01:06:07.640 I'll know the look in her eyes when she sees that, when she realizes that there's something wrong with me.

01:06:12.600 So I got, I like, I don't know.

01:06:15.060 So I don't want to lock out, something like that.

01:06:16.920 I don't know what it is.

01:06:17.720 Anyway, sorry for talking to you.

01:06:18.500 You don't want-

01:06:18.920 No, no, it's the truth.

01:06:19.940 I'm the same way.

01:06:20.800 You don't want to give yourself the possibility of failing.

01:06:24.080 So it's like you kill it before it happens.

01:06:25.660 Yeah.

01:06:26.120 You go, I'll self-kill it before.

01:06:28.000 Then I didn't fail.

01:06:29.180 It just went down.

01:06:30.060 Yeah.

01:06:30.940 I don't know.

01:06:31.360 But then life gets along.

01:06:33.420 You're like, what kind of, what theme park am I living in here with myself and whatever's going on?

01:06:39.160 I'm out of it now.

01:06:39.760 I'm coming out of it.

01:06:40.460 I really am.

01:06:41.200 I don't let those things scare me anymore.

01:06:43.300 I don't care anymore.

01:06:44.520 I do it.

01:06:45.020 And it's been helping a lot.

01:06:46.900 Yeah?

01:06:47.080 I mean it.

01:06:47.420 Yes.

01:06:47.920 Just by just-

01:06:48.720 Just doing.

01:06:49.460 Yeah.

01:06:49.860 You figure it out.

01:06:50.600 You go, I don't care.

01:06:51.480 She said, no.

01:06:52.120 She said, no.

01:06:52.660 This one, this, whatever.

01:06:53.740 I don't get this.

01:06:54.560 This doesn't do well.

01:06:55.460 I don't care.

01:06:56.000 Moving on.

01:06:56.480 What's next?

01:06:57.080 Let's go.

01:06:57.740 We know what we got.

01:06:58.940 God is good.

01:06:59.740 Go, go, go, go.

01:07:01.240 You get stuck so much on the thinking side, you know?

01:07:03.520 Yeah.

01:07:03.880 You got to get out of your own way.

01:07:05.080 I'm the same way.

01:07:06.680 Yeah.

01:07:07.820 That's interesting, dude.

01:07:09.200 But yeah, that would be a lot of it.

01:07:11.800 God.

01:07:12.220 Yeah.

01:07:12.960 That would be a lot of it.

01:07:14.100 Mm-hmm.

01:07:14.940 But yeah, that thing, I'll be like, what else is going on?

01:07:17.840 I'll say that all the time.

01:07:18.940 Yeah.

01:07:19.280 If things get real quiet, that's a weird thing, huh?

01:07:23.120 But I think that's what makes you, your brain is like, we got to come up with something.

01:07:26.440 What are we doing here, boys?

01:07:27.840 Yes.

01:07:27.980 You know?

01:07:28.520 Yes.

01:07:29.220 Yeah.

01:07:29.660 And I'm telling you, you look calm outside, but inside, it's like, there's a fire.

01:07:36.080 What do we do next?

01:07:37.340 Like, she's not like it.

01:07:38.640 I remember it all.

01:07:39.860 Oh, yeah.

01:07:40.040 I remember it.

01:07:41.020 God.

01:07:41.220 It's over.

01:07:42.400 It's cortisol shooting out of your face.

01:07:45.620 You know?

01:07:45.860 It's like, ah!

01:07:46.560 I don't know what to do.

01:07:47.680 I can't control myself.

01:07:48.900 You know, it's just...

01:07:49.680 When you think back on it, it's so insane.

01:07:52.280 It is.

01:07:52.940 That's a lot of it.

01:07:53.560 It means nothing.

01:07:54.040 It meant nothing.

01:07:55.660 Don't worry.

01:07:56.340 Just calm down.

01:07:57.160 Sit in the pocket.

01:07:57.980 Yeah.

01:07:59.420 Spade does a good job of that, man.

01:08:02.940 He's always been that guy, right?

01:08:04.800 He's so cool.

01:08:05.280 Just very cool.

01:08:06.400 Yeah.

01:08:06.700 I've never been the cool guy.

01:08:09.120 He's so cool.

01:08:09.680 Yeah.

01:08:10.380 My friend was the cool guy.

01:08:12.780 Yeah.

01:08:13.960 Yeah.

01:08:14.120 All my friends were the cool guy.

01:08:15.200 Like, it was never me.

01:08:16.900 I was never that guy.

01:08:18.520 Nuh-uh.

01:08:19.480 Even at times when I thought I was that guy, I was like, ah, that's insane that you thought

01:08:23.820 that, dude.

01:08:24.520 Yeah.

01:08:24.540 You know?

01:08:25.180 Because it just doesn't fit.

01:08:26.800 Right.

01:08:27.700 Nah.

01:08:28.440 Yeah.

01:08:28.820 I don't...

01:08:29.500 I don't...

01:08:30.100 And that worked for me to not be that guy.

01:08:32.580 Yeah.

01:08:32.700 And it's like when you admit it...

01:08:33.840 Yeah.

01:08:33.960 Once you realize, oh, I'm not...

01:08:35.100 Yeah.

01:08:35.380 Yeah.

01:08:35.600 Once you're not trying to be something...

01:08:37.060 Yeah.

01:08:37.420 It feels better, right?

01:08:38.320 Yeah.

01:08:38.420 And it's like, it's all right.

01:08:39.800 That's why it happened.

01:08:40.600 It makes things a little bit better.

01:08:42.540 Did you feel like a little bit of like your character, Matt Taylor?

01:08:46.880 That's the guy's name?

01:08:47.560 Mm-hmm.

01:08:47.860 Which is so funny because I know three Matt Taylors, but everybody does.

01:08:50.120 Maybe that's why they picked the name.

01:08:51.080 There's a lot of them.

01:08:52.360 There's a lot of them out there.

01:08:53.120 How many are there?

01:08:53.660 Bring that up.

01:08:54.440 Please.

01:08:55.200 How many Matt Taylors are there?

01:08:58.560 I know three.

01:09:00.560 There's got to be 14 or more in the world.

01:09:03.580 There's a guy...

01:09:03.940 I bet there's 140,000.

01:09:05.820 I know.

01:09:06.600 I'm joking.

01:09:07.380 Oh, sorry.

01:09:07.800 There's got to be Matt Taylors, right?

01:09:09.880 There's no precise global count for the name Matt Taylor.

01:09:12.180 A comprehensive worldwide name database do not exist.

01:09:15.500 Estimates can be derived from available national data and name frequency tools.

01:09:18.840 So they appear in the public records about 3,700 times?

01:09:21.900 That's it?

01:09:23.740 Huh.

01:09:24.860 Yeah, there's no way to figure it out.

01:09:26.700 Yeah.

01:09:26.960 There's a lot of them, though.

01:09:28.400 Matt, as a first name alone, has an estimated living population of 207,000.

01:09:34.980 I bet it's more than that.

01:09:38.040 207,000 Matts?

01:09:39.480 There was that Kyle meetup in Texas.

01:09:40.960 Do you see that?

01:09:42.660 I did not.

01:09:43.740 Bring that up.

01:09:44.540 All the Kyles?

01:09:45.400 All the Kyles met up.

01:09:46.680 Really?

01:09:48.120 Yeah, bro.

01:09:48.980 If we were to branch out now and go to try to figure out how many Matt Taylors there are

01:09:54.680 currently living in the world, what is the first step?

01:09:58.920 The first step is do I go, okay, if we just decided right now we're doing it?

01:10:02.820 Yeah.

01:10:03.580 But would I say to my guy, all right, call his agent.

01:10:07.720 We're going to do this thing.

01:10:08.740 What is the first step?

01:10:09.520 Do we book a hotel and we say we're going to talk about it?

01:10:11.840 Or we need a first meeting of how we're going to go about the thing?

01:10:15.840 Is that it?

01:10:16.540 The first step, probably agreeing that we're going to do it together.

01:10:19.060 Right.

01:10:19.440 That would take some time, though, right?

01:10:20.740 Because we'd be like, are we really doing this?

01:10:22.540 And then it's like, well, we've got to talk it out, let's think it.

01:10:25.040 And the logistics of it, how would we do it?

01:10:27.380 Okay.

01:10:27.560 And getting uniforms, too.

01:10:30.800 Searching for Matt Taylor uniforms.

01:10:33.000 Every Matt, that would be sick.

01:10:34.760 Would it be a jumpsuit or is it like two pieces?

01:10:36.800 Every Matt Taylor.

01:10:37.860 I think it's a onesie.

01:10:39.680 A onesie?

01:10:40.140 It's a one piece, like a Carhartt.

01:10:41.840 It's hard work.

01:10:43.100 Yes.

01:10:44.000 Dude, you know how many Matt Taylors are?

01:10:45.360 At least 207,000.

01:10:47.180 Dude, I love it.

01:10:48.240 Okay.

01:10:48.600 Searching for the, yeah, like the best Matt Taylor.

01:10:50.420 Like, yeah, what are we looking for?

01:10:50.780 So the uniform would be probably the first thing we're working on.

01:10:53.440 What are we looking for him for?

01:10:55.120 Maybe we've got a piece of mail for him.

01:10:56.140 Yeah, just something like we can, yeah.

01:10:58.360 Or just to give them a, you know, a pat on the back for being Matt Taylor, like being part of the team.

01:11:03.580 Yeah, being in the Army.

01:11:04.780 That's a militia.

01:11:05.600 That many people.

01:11:06.000 It is.

01:11:06.380 Bring up that meeting of the Kyles again.

01:11:07.980 What did they do, too?

01:11:09.580 Somebody said that, um.

01:11:12.620 Oh, that is cool.

01:11:13.700 They're all Kyles?

01:11:15.060 Yeah, those were all Kyles.

01:11:16.300 And Sugar Ray performed, I heard.

01:11:17.900 Oh, I love it.

01:11:20.500 706 people named Kyle got together in Texas, but it wasn't.

01:11:23.920 That's enough for a world record.

01:11:26.600 Oh, damn.

01:11:27.040 Oh, how sad is that?

01:11:28.900 First of all, let me say something.

01:11:30.320 These guys put together, 706 of these people had the dream of becoming a world record breaker

01:11:35.860 with the most Kyles in a certain area.

01:11:38.180 I love that.

01:11:38.500 And they missed it.

01:11:39.880 Look at that.

01:11:40.900 By the way, as bad as we feel about everything that happened in our lives, if I had that one,

01:11:46.240 that would tip it.

01:11:47.860 It'd be tough to leave.

01:11:49.040 Come on.

01:11:49.700 No, you're second place for most Kyles?

01:11:52.500 Second place for most Kyles.

01:11:53.380 The crown is currently held by a town in Bosnia that got 235 people named Ivan in 2017.

01:12:02.060 So it's any name.

01:12:02.880 It's not just Kyles.

01:12:04.480 So it's like just a certain name.

01:12:06.660 But this is, I think, one of the largest groupings.

01:12:08.920 What did it say about Kyle?

01:12:10.080 Did it say anything else?

01:12:10.900 Go back to that original article.

01:12:12.340 How does that start?

01:12:13.740 Where is that first meeting?

01:12:15.020 Oh, Kyle.

01:12:16.300 Well, it's right here.

01:12:17.020 It's not the first time the Kyles have come gunning for the Ivins.

01:12:19.600 Last year, the official count at what has become known as the Gathering of the Kyles

01:12:23.120 clocked in at 1490 in the fast-growing Texas city that is about 37 miles of Austin.

01:12:28.380 Oh, the city's called Kyle.

01:12:30.340 So they did it in Kyle, Texas.

01:12:32.660 But are they named Kyle?

01:12:34.260 They're all named Kyle.

01:12:35.560 That's got to be crazy, dude, when you see who all the other freaking Kyles really are.

01:12:40.060 And you, dude, you see-

01:12:41.060 But do you go door to door?

01:12:41.680 Are you knocking and going-

01:12:43.020 I'm sure they met.

01:12:43.800 I'm sure there was something online that announced it.

01:12:45.600 Okay.

01:12:46.340 And then they all showed up.

01:12:47.760 I guess you have to register.

01:12:48.920 Yeah, that would seem a lot more efficient.

01:12:50.460 Oh, dude, that'd be so crazy.

01:12:51.940 You look around and everybody's a Kyle.

01:12:53.300 And you see some, you're like, whoa.

01:12:55.940 Whoa.

01:12:56.560 Or they put one person out there that's not a Kyle.

01:12:59.480 And the whole day-

01:13:00.220 Do you think there's anybody in that group of 706 that's not a Kyle?

01:13:03.000 Really?

01:13:03.580 That's like Kyle was his nickname.

01:13:05.460 It wasn't even his real name.

01:13:06.840 And he knows it.

01:13:07.740 He's there.

01:13:08.700 It's not on his birth certificate.

01:13:10.420 Oh, no.

01:13:10.500 And he's kind of like getting around, like not wanting to get caught.

01:13:13.320 Yeah.

01:13:13.480 And people are looking around.

01:13:14.640 And other Kyles know if you're not a Kyle.

01:13:17.280 So they're just kind of like, and you're like, what's your name?

01:13:19.480 And you're like, I'm Kyle, too.

01:13:20.920 And they're like, I don't know if he, you know, and they're like, hey, they go to get

01:13:24.440 his buddy.

01:13:24.860 Like, I want to check you out.

01:13:25.660 And then he leaves.

01:13:26.440 He's like, I'm going to the bathroom.

01:13:27.960 I'll be back.

01:13:28.300 And he's just goes to a different area of the field.

01:13:32.180 It's so stupid.

01:13:33.640 It's so crazy.

01:13:34.520 I love it, man.

01:13:35.340 To be a fake Kyle there.

01:13:36.800 Just to fit in, though.

01:13:37.880 But people have nothing to do.

01:13:39.960 Look at what they're doing.

01:13:41.260 They're just trying, man.

01:13:42.120 I love it, man.

01:13:43.240 I love it.

01:13:43.980 People are desperate for connection.

01:13:44.740 Yes.

01:13:45.160 This is how it's getting.

01:13:46.140 By the way, this is beautiful to me.

01:13:48.040 This is.

01:13:48.360 But the worst part is, though, imagine it's all dude.

01:13:52.560 You go there hoping you can meet a chick.

01:13:54.700 There's some chicks named Kyle.

01:13:56.760 Oh, do you think so?

01:13:57.500 Is that.

01:13:57.800 I've met a couple.

01:13:59.240 Okay.

01:14:00.840 I've met a couple for sure.

01:14:02.620 Who performed?

01:14:04.180 Who performed?

01:14:04.920 I think Sugar Ray.

01:14:06.100 But that's a missed opportunity.

01:14:07.300 Shouldn't they get a Kyle?

01:14:08.320 Isn't there a Kyle performer?

01:14:09.540 Kyle Kinane could have.

01:14:10.580 Yeah.

01:14:11.860 I don't know.

01:14:13.160 That's a missed opportunity, man.

01:14:15.440 It won't try to break the same name gathering record this year.

01:14:18.140 Okay.

01:14:18.440 So Kyle's out.

01:14:19.960 Oh.

01:14:20.240 That's all we got.

01:14:20.560 So they're switching names.

01:14:22.540 By the way, why don't you go with a Bob or something like, you know what I'm saying?

01:14:25.120 That's.

01:14:25.620 Maybe because.

01:14:26.180 Oh, because the city of Kyle.

01:14:27.500 Well, Texas put it on, it looks like.

01:14:28.800 All right.

01:14:29.000 We'll find the better name.

01:14:30.240 The city has been hosting the gathering since 2017.

01:14:34.420 All right.

01:14:36.920 When you look back at this movie, what was different about making this movie than some

01:14:40.220 of the others?

01:14:40.780 Did you find it that it's easier?

01:14:42.140 Do you have a different, like, ownership of this film?

01:14:48.100 It was something that, it came together really quick, but it's the first movie that, like,

01:14:54.440 I'm really proud of that everybody who worked on it was just amazing.

01:14:59.960 And it was just different than any other movie I've done.

01:15:02.600 And the story's not that, it's not even that crazy different or anything like that.

01:15:07.240 It's not, but it's a classic.

01:15:09.260 We hit every mark that we wanted to hit in doing this in a different way.

01:15:13.900 I hired, like, we got the best cast, the best crew.

01:15:17.580 And, again, it's not me.

01:15:19.780 It was them.

01:15:20.320 And it was everything coming together in Italy that just made it, I just couldn't believe

01:15:25.780 how great it came out.

01:15:27.240 And it was like, I know, I think, honestly, for the rest of my life, like, this would

01:15:31.980 probably be the best movie I've done, for me.

01:15:34.100 Like, it's the best I've done so far.

01:15:35.720 Yes.

01:15:36.300 Without a doubt.

01:15:36.780 The best you've done, like, even in your acting, you think?

01:15:38.680 Yeah, yeah.

01:15:39.820 Well, it's the most where I'm real to, you know, you do different movies for different

01:15:43.780 reasons, right?

01:15:44.340 Like, you know, when I did Mall Cop, you know, I'm doing it for families and kids and you're

01:15:49.060 being goofy and broad and this and that.

01:15:50.900 And a lot of stuff you're getting that, you know, that's your kind of what they expect

01:15:55.400 from you.

01:15:56.120 But this was one where I was able, there's still comedy in it, but, like, I don't hold

01:15:59.820 the comedy as much as, like, Kim Coates and Jonathan Rumi, these guys, and Allison Hannigan.

01:16:04.040 Yeah, Jonathan was great.

01:16:05.280 Yeah.

01:16:06.520 Which allowed me to kind of play more of a real guy, which was fun for me to do.

01:16:10.720 And who played Jules?

01:16:11.360 What was that guy's name?

01:16:12.100 Kim Coates from Sons of Anarchy.

01:16:14.540 He's just, I've known him for 35 years.

01:16:16.980 Like, he's, I did a movie with him and Ray Romano called Grilled.

01:16:22.120 Yeah.

01:16:22.700 And it never went anywhere.

01:16:24.200 We were meat salesmen.

01:16:25.800 And I met him.

01:16:27.320 And he, he is, he is the greatest.

01:16:31.100 He's an insane, insanely intense actor.

01:16:33.960 I don't even know what he's going to do.

01:16:36.140 But that's why I want him for comedy.

01:16:37.820 Wow.

01:16:38.060 Like, he looks at you and he's, he's just, he's just going to go a certain way and you're

01:16:42.040 going to go with him.

01:16:43.200 And he was the perfect guy to play that role.

01:16:45.520 Yeah, that was great, dude.

01:16:46.900 He was really, really, he was a good, yeah, his comedy was right on.

01:16:51.420 He's an incredible man.

01:16:53.260 He's, he's, he crushes it.

01:16:55.160 Whenever you made, what's another favorite, like, just take me through one more favorite

01:16:58.320 film that you, like, an experience that you had.

01:17:00.480 I mean, Hitch.

01:17:01.100 I mean, all the, you know, the stuff with Sandler, you know.

01:17:03.780 Oh, yeah, that's true.

01:17:04.980 Like, that stuff.

01:17:05.860 That's kind of a dumb question.

01:17:06.460 No, no, I mean, it's like doing stuff with Sandler's the best, always.

01:17:10.440 What about, like, a Hitch reboot today?

01:17:12.000 Would that work, you think?

01:17:13.200 Um, I mean, I don't know how you do it with me, but, um, yeah.

01:17:18.100 I guess you could do it.

01:17:19.380 I think so.

01:17:20.100 I think it was great.

01:17:20.760 Will, that was my first movie.

01:17:22.460 So, um, I mean, I was thankful for that one.

01:17:25.280 That was, that started out like, like, I had like one line or something.

01:17:28.860 That was like a very small part.

01:17:29.960 And then Will and I just connected and he, he was so nice and, and giving me, you know,

01:17:36.520 some freedom to be funny and kind of try different things.

01:17:39.500 Oh, yeah.

01:17:40.080 And, uh, dude, and it, it just, it, it made everything for me.

01:17:43.020 So, I was, I was really excited about that one.

01:17:45.340 Do you feel a lot of pressure when you just have that, that much of a part to try to make

01:17:48.760 it perfect in some way?

01:17:50.360 In Hitch?

01:17:51.180 Mm-hmm.

01:17:51.320 You know, I, coming in, you know, Will was a massive, you know, movie star.

01:17:55.920 Oh, yeah.

01:17:56.600 He's been one of the biggest.

01:17:57.640 And movie stars were different then.

01:17:58.780 It was like, it was just in the theaters.

01:18:00.420 It was like, they were special.

01:18:01.740 You didn't see them much, you know?

01:18:02.940 And I remember we were doing a big table read in New York and he walked in with his crew

01:18:06.760 and I'm like, whoa, you know, my eyes are like, whoa, that's him.

01:18:09.760 You know, it was like one of those things.

01:18:11.220 And, uh, just happy to be there, you know, trying to pitch things, but, you know, don't

01:18:15.760 want to get thrown out of the room, you know, trying, you know, timing and stuff like

01:18:19.320 that.

01:18:20.200 Uh, but he was great.

01:18:22.340 Like we would write after in his trailer, he'd go come back and we, you know, we'd work on some,

01:18:26.460 uh, material and, and rewrite it as we were doing it.

01:18:29.420 And I was just in it.

01:18:30.140 It was like a dream for me.

01:18:31.180 It was really great.

01:18:32.200 And, and it had that special feeling that I have in this movie, honestly, where you feel

01:18:35.780 things are coming together.

01:18:37.140 Cause I've done a ton of movies where you go, man, this is just not working.

01:18:40.320 You know, it's like, you know, you just feel like you're muscling through, you're pushing

01:18:44.140 the comedy too hard.

01:18:45.040 But this one felt so real to me and, uh, it was just so much fun to be a part of.

01:18:51.020 Do you have other projects that are already, that you already have on the docket, Kevin?

01:18:54.100 Yes.

01:18:55.160 Uh, yeah, we're, we're, we're working on one with the jelly roll, uh, that I'm going to

01:18:59.040 be, it's a, it's actually a drama, uh, country music drama that, uh, we're working together.

01:19:04.000 And you see that video of him the other night at the Grammys?

01:19:05.600 Were you there?

01:19:06.000 Yeah.

01:19:06.280 No, I wasn't there.

01:19:07.220 Uh, he is amazing, man.

01:19:09.140 Yeah.

01:19:09.340 He's great.

01:19:09.640 Cause I got a shirt, I bought a shirt at Walmart before coming here and I already stained

01:19:14.940 it up a little bit, but, uh, yeah, let's go jelly.

01:19:17.800 He sent me a pair of those shoes as like, they're like, they're like, I don't know what

01:19:21.180 they're called.

01:19:21.680 Oh yes.

01:19:22.060 Yeah.

01:19:22.260 His, the boots that he wears.

01:19:23.660 Yeah.

01:19:24.000 They're something like that.

01:19:24.900 Yeah.

01:19:25.020 Yeah.

01:19:25.460 They're, they're great.

01:19:26.360 Uh, he he's, he's an amazing human being, man.

01:19:29.400 I'm so proud of him and so excited to do this.

01:19:32.460 And in this drama, here's the thing we both, he goes, Hey, if we're going to do this,

01:19:37.400 we got to get into like prison shape.

01:19:39.480 Cause we go to prison.

01:19:40.400 We were, we're both in prison in the movie and it's real.

01:19:43.700 Where at what city?

01:19:44.960 In Nashville.

01:19:45.840 Oh, nice.

01:19:46.460 So, um, I haven't been to the prison here.

01:19:48.280 Yeah.

01:19:48.580 It's a, it's a whole thing about getting to the, the Opry and it's a really, it's

01:19:52.620 cool story and there's a lot of drama in it and it's exciting.

01:19:56.100 But, uh, we said, okay, we're going to commit now to doing this.

01:20:00.040 And he went out and lost like 300 pounds and I am up seven.

01:20:05.680 I'm, I gotta get down.

01:20:06.960 You're up seven pounds right now?

01:20:07.960 Yes.

01:20:08.400 He's down like 300.

01:20:09.620 I'm up seven.

01:20:10.720 Like I've, so now, so yeah, it's a big spread.

01:20:13.940 We went the wrong way.

01:20:14.860 And you already shot.

01:20:16.000 No, no, we didn't shoot anything yet.

01:20:17.520 We shoot in like, we're, we're hoping to do seven, eight months.

01:20:21.180 We're going to be, we're going to be ready to shoot.

01:20:23.560 So do you think you can get to that?

01:20:25.020 I know I can.

01:20:25.600 I'm going to do it right now.

01:20:26.580 I'm literally, after I promote this movie, which I'm doing, I'm shutting down from

01:20:30.740 everything else and I'm, I'm going into training mode like never before.

01:20:34.620 I'm going to work out.

01:20:35.340 I'm going to change everything.

01:20:36.220 I'm going to be unrecognizable.

01:20:37.560 I have to say it.

01:20:38.260 If I don't say it, I'll never be accountable.

01:20:40.460 What will you do?

01:20:41.180 Like, what do you have?

01:20:41.700 Do you have like a plan?

01:20:42.260 I know what I'm going to do.

01:20:42.940 Yeah.

01:20:43.180 I'm going to do everything.

01:20:44.000 Like, well, I'm going to go easy though.

01:20:45.640 You know, it's like, that's the one thing I'm very eclectic when I work out.

01:20:48.820 Like I do, you know, I'll do a little bit of jujitsu and stuff like that.

01:20:52.640 Light stuff though.

01:20:53.400 And boxing and then stretching and a little bit of stuff, bike riding, things like that.

01:20:59.280 Pool is insane.

01:21:01.520 You know, I-

01:21:02.460 Swimming?

01:21:03.100 Not swimming.

01:21:04.180 I'm not a swimmer.

01:21:05.580 But just getting in a pool and stretching and moving a little bit.

01:21:08.620 Yeah.

01:21:08.920 If you can do that, if you have access to that.

01:21:11.480 Dude, but it's also like-

01:21:12.420 You burn a lot of calories.

01:21:13.380 And it's therapeutic because the water holds you.

01:21:16.300 Yeah.

01:21:16.420 So it's like your body feels good stretching and moving.

01:21:19.320 Oh, yeah.

01:21:19.960 So doing a lot of that.

01:21:21.060 And no, I got to get on it though.

01:21:24.140 He's like, he's lived up to his part of the bargain.

01:21:26.300 Or are you going to have a trainer?

01:21:27.260 Like what else do you do?

01:21:28.600 I do, but trainers get annoying to me.

01:21:30.960 I got to be honest.

01:21:31.660 Like after a while-

01:21:32.500 Yeah.

01:21:32.920 And you know what?

01:21:33.440 If I'm being completely honest, I've done it before.

01:21:36.620 I know what to do.

01:21:38.380 I know what to eat.

01:21:39.820 I know what, you know, but I am using Dolce.

01:21:43.060 Do you know Mike Dolce?

01:21:44.500 He's got the Dolce diet.

01:21:45.660 He's trained all these UFC athletes.

01:21:47.960 Oh, wait.

01:21:48.240 I have met him before.

01:21:49.400 Yeah.

01:21:49.660 He's awesome.

01:21:50.460 He's going to help me.

01:21:51.920 Yes.

01:21:52.580 He's a badass.

01:21:53.700 He's a really good-

01:21:54.260 So he's going to help.

01:21:54.940 He is going to help.

01:21:56.200 He's frustrated with me because I don't, I haven't been doing, he knows I haven't been

01:21:59.860 doing it.

01:22:00.220 Hey, you're up seven.

01:22:00.920 Yeah.

01:22:01.380 So he, I don't think he knew that.

01:22:03.420 I guess he's going to know that now.

01:22:04.900 All right.

01:22:05.400 Sorry, Dolce.

01:22:06.060 I'm up seven, but I didn't lock in yet.

01:22:08.340 When I lock in, I promise you it's going to be six months.

01:22:12.840 I'm going to be a different person.

01:22:14.920 What would be the hardest thing for you to give up, you think?

01:22:17.620 Food-wise or just, I mean-

01:22:18.980 Probably food-wise, yeah.

01:22:20.260 Or is it a beer-wise or what is it?

01:22:22.140 No, no.

01:22:22.540 It's not drinking.

01:22:23.380 I'm not a big, big drinker.

01:22:24.620 Uh, uh, it's just food and it's just amounts of food.

01:22:28.760 Like I could eat constantly if you change the food, like a shark.

01:22:33.160 Like I would just keep swimming.

01:22:34.860 Like I would just keep-

01:22:35.860 Yeah.

01:22:36.100 I don't get, I don't get full, really, you know?

01:22:40.320 It's scary.

01:22:41.700 It's something in me that, you know, I need to stop.

01:22:44.860 But, uh, but are you a big eater?

01:22:46.340 You don't, you look great, man.

01:22:47.520 I like to eat some, but I don't care that much.

01:22:49.560 You don't?

01:22:49.960 I like beef quesadillas and I like smoothie.

01:22:52.200 Okay.

01:22:52.600 But so you're not, that's a great combo.

01:22:55.640 Yeah.

01:22:55.940 Those are the two things I eat every single day.

01:22:57.280 Do you really?

01:22:58.060 Yeah.

01:22:58.080 If I'm eating, that's what I eat.

01:22:59.440 I love that.

01:23:00.540 We have seven ingredients here.

01:23:01.640 But you don't think about it.

01:23:02.600 See, look at your face.

01:23:03.620 You, you're kind of like, that's your face when, you know, that's not my face with food.

01:23:08.360 But I think it's lame to not care about food sometimes.

01:23:10.760 I think like, dude, get some zest in your world.

01:23:13.160 No, I think, I think what you're doing is-

01:23:14.600 Think about a fucking sauce or something.

01:23:17.080 No, I think that's, I would rather be like that because, uh, you know, why am I so concerned

01:23:22.220 about what I'm eating for lunch?

01:23:23.600 Like I'm thinking about it constantly.

01:23:25.860 I'm looking at you right now, but I'm thinking tonight where, like, you don't want to make

01:23:30.120 a mistake.

01:23:30.740 You don't want to go-

01:23:31.520 That's a good point.

01:23:32.300 Right?

01:23:32.920 Nothing's worse than making a mistake at a-

01:23:35.240 Especially when you're like, we're in Nashville now.

01:23:37.080 Oh, dude, yeah.

01:23:37.420 So we got to pop.

01:23:38.200 You got to find something good.

01:23:39.160 Dude, I went to, I ordered a steak from this place, STK last night or something.

01:23:42.600 Oh, STK's great.

01:23:43.920 This was not, dude.

01:23:44.980 This-

01:23:45.180 Oh, really?

01:23:46.140 STK missed?

01:23:47.480 Didn't they have a place in the-

01:23:48.620 They have a few of them, right?

01:23:49.640 They're a chain?

01:23:50.620 Yeah.

01:23:51.280 It's-

01:23:51.540 I mean, it just-

01:23:52.040 But not a-

01:23:53.160 Oh, it still makes me sick.

01:23:54.680 It tastes like, I don't even know.

01:23:56.280 Oh, STK.

01:23:57.300 Sorry.

01:23:57.760 I'm out then.

01:23:58.920 I'm out.

01:23:59.420 If you had a bad one-

01:24:00.460 Oh, it tasted like-

01:24:02.340 No, I'm done.

01:24:03.860 It tasted like just-

01:24:05.040 Wow.

01:24:05.060 Okay.

01:24:06.700 Vagina from like this.

01:24:07.360 If they had one in LA, I think I went to it and it was good.

01:24:10.340 1400s or whatever.

01:24:11.720 Like, game of-

01:24:12.760 Really?

01:24:13.960 Groans, dude.

01:24:14.540 It was horrible.

01:24:15.440 Game of-

01:24:16.240 Ugh.

01:24:17.540 Dude, I can still-

01:24:18.940 I had one bite and I was like, oh, maybe I got a bad piece of the meat or whatever.

01:24:23.080 It tasted bad or it was tough?

01:24:24.420 It tasted bad and it just had this like aroma or-

01:24:27.620 Oh, no.

01:24:28.660 Ordeur or whatever with it.

01:24:30.500 And dude, that ordeur hit me and I was like-

01:24:33.380 Wait, what is the ordeur?

01:24:34.640 Oh, you've seen the ordeur ordeur?

01:24:36.180 Ordeur?

01:24:36.840 Yes.

01:24:37.700 It hit me, dude.

01:24:38.840 I fucking-

01:24:39.640 My knees shook a little.

01:24:41.080 Did they?

01:24:41.440 I was like, God, yeah.

01:24:42.460 But do you think it was like just bad tasting or it was bad, like you're going to get sick?

01:24:46.860 I couldn't tell.

01:24:47.340 I couldn't tell, dude, but I had one more bite because I was like-

01:24:49.980 You went back?

01:24:50.700 I was like, dude, I was treating myself to something, you know?

01:24:54.140 Yeah.

01:24:54.520 I hadn't really eaten all day and I was coming home and I was like, I'm going to treat myself

01:24:57.180 to something tonight.

01:24:57.760 I'm going to order steak because I still have to work.

01:24:59.560 I was going to try to go somewhere to eat, but it was getting-

01:25:01.300 It was so late.

01:25:02.220 Yeah.

01:25:02.540 And I was like-

01:25:03.200 And they sent it and I was like, oh.

01:25:04.800 No, no, you can't.

01:25:05.820 It made me fucking when you do that kind of shit.

01:25:08.120 Like you turn into your own chiropractor and shit.

01:25:10.200 See, I wouldn't get upset.

01:25:11.300 Like once it was bad, I have no problem switching foods.

01:25:14.420 Like I would go to right to peanut butter and jelly and I would make a massive sandwich.

01:25:19.580 God, now those are good.

01:25:21.020 I guess they're as good when you're a kid, but I just quit eating them years ago.

01:25:24.520 What?

01:25:25.240 Peanut butter and jelly.

01:25:25.700 Why?

01:25:26.120 You still eat them?

01:25:26.880 Yes, I do.

01:25:28.240 Yes, I do.

01:25:29.040 What is your ratio of peanut butter to jelly?

01:25:31.420 Oh, I used to think-

01:25:33.260 Oh, I think I go thick on both and I'll put, if I'm really going to have one, I haven't

01:25:38.080 had one in years, but I would put butter on the jelly side as well.

01:25:41.500 Butter, jelly, and then the other bread has peanut butter on it.

01:25:43.780 My grandmother used to do that.

01:25:45.240 Toast or no?

01:25:46.500 No.

01:25:46.960 Sometimes my mom used to grill them with bananas in them though.

01:25:51.080 That's insane.

01:25:52.800 I'm stuck on butter right now.

01:25:54.300 Like my mind is going, like a beautiful mind right now.

01:25:57.160 It's seeing all the equations of like why I didn't do it.

01:26:00.220 But I got to tell you, first of all, I go much thicker peanut butter.

01:26:03.280 Like I thick it up.

01:26:04.340 Oh, really?

01:26:04.800 It's a lot.

01:26:05.580 Yeah.

01:26:05.940 You just choke a little.

01:26:06.920 Yeah, that's fine.

01:26:08.260 I get it down.

01:26:09.040 And then it's worth it though.

01:26:10.880 And I get a little jelly in there just to get that sweet going, but it's a big one.

01:26:15.460 And I'll do toast sometimes, but if you do too hot of a toast, I know this is a little

01:26:19.560 bit too much information, but then you get the wet peanut.

01:26:22.000 Like it melts.

01:26:22.560 Melts down.

01:26:22.940 And it comes right out.

01:26:23.820 Squeezes out the side.

01:26:24.720 How'd you feel when peanut butter started doing that thing a few years ago where it was

01:26:27.240 like they put just two parts of peanut butter into a jar.

01:26:29.820 It's like the oil in the part they separate.

01:26:31.200 No, I can't stand that.

01:26:32.080 That's insane.

01:26:32.680 I can't stand that.

01:26:33.460 What is that?

01:26:33.940 I don't want to do the skippy.

01:26:36.920 Yeah, there you go.

01:26:37.540 That's the drip.

01:26:38.420 There you go.

01:26:38.940 That drip is good, but if it goes out of the sandwich, it's useless.

01:26:41.920 And you lose it.

01:26:42.360 You lose it.

01:26:43.000 It's like that could have been in me.

01:26:44.400 Yeah.

01:26:44.920 God.

01:26:45.640 Yeah, I do risk stuff like that.

01:26:47.300 I don't like that at all.

01:26:48.500 I do miss those kid foods, those lunchables.

01:26:50.380 I can't believe you.

01:26:50.820 Why did you stop?

01:26:51.620 I mean, when you say kid foods-

01:26:53.500 I forgot about it.

01:26:54.120 They're foods.

01:26:54.880 They don't-

01:26:55.360 I mean, macaroni and cheese with the Kraft, with the powder, it never stops.

01:27:00.440 When do you go- what age is it appropriate to go, I'm not eating the powder or cheese?

01:27:06.780 Something happened to me, I guess.

01:27:08.140 I just- I don't know.

01:27:08.880 I just- I just started- you know what?

01:27:11.160 I just like working so much, I just don't think about food that much.

01:27:14.640 But maybe this will start, you know?

01:27:16.580 Maybe I'll start falling in love with some new things, you know?

01:27:19.180 I would like to go the other way.

01:27:20.200 I would love to be like that.

01:27:21.420 I wish I had that where I wasn't thinking about it so much.

01:27:23.600 What's going to be the toughest part for you with the- with this coming up change?

01:27:27.500 I know you got to get out of here and feel it.

01:27:28.460 What's going to be the toughest part?

01:27:29.580 Or it's just going to be the food.

01:27:31.080 It is.

01:27:31.420 It's going to be cutting that out, being- but once I get into a groove, it's routine.

01:27:35.500 Routine and discipline, man.

01:27:36.600 That's all it'll- ever it is, right?

01:27:38.060 So if you do it a little bit and you do it enough and the- and the- and, you know, you

01:27:41.820 don't eat a perfect every day, but that's the other thing too.

01:27:44.920 I let the perfect be the enemy of the good, which means if I'm not perfect that day,

01:27:49.120 I go, screw it.

01:27:49.860 And I eat like crazy that night and I blow it.

01:27:51.660 And I- you know, if I get a flat tire, Weidman always says, you always- you know, if you get

01:27:55.360 one flat, you- you just pop the other three tires.

01:27:58.200 Like, you know, it's like, you don't- you don't just fix that one.

01:28:00.960 I do.

01:28:01.620 Like, so if I go off my diet a little bit, I go out that night, I'm eating, drinking,

01:28:05.460 having a blast, and I'm like, I'll start tomorrow.

01:28:07.460 Because it's a fresh start that I'm looking for.

01:28:09.360 Oh.

01:28:09.700 Always.

01:28:10.040 I love that start fresh.

01:28:11.020 Because I've always been that guy.

01:28:12.560 I've always been the guy to never do the homework, you know, when I should.

01:28:16.020 It's Monday morning, I get it done.

01:28:17.540 And then I get it, it's like, and it's like, because I can do it.

01:28:19.740 That's the same.

01:28:20.880 Dude, yeah, I was always the guy who wrote every answer on my finger.

01:28:23.200 I go in there.

01:28:24.020 Yes.

01:28:25.180 Yes.

01:28:25.620 Like that?

01:28:26.260 Yep.

01:28:26.420 Little bitty words on there?

01:28:27.340 Yeah.

01:28:27.760 Cheating.

01:28:29.560 Well, dude, thanks so much for Solo Mia, man.

01:28:31.220 Thanks for all the entertainment over the years.

01:28:32.380 I was a little bit tired today.

01:28:33.600 No, I'm sorry.

01:28:34.440 I was- I'm a little weak, too.

01:28:36.000 And I said a lot of things that I rambled for a while that if you want to cut out, you

01:28:39.940 can cut out, because I was a little bouncy.

01:28:42.800 Dude, I- yeah, I don't know.

01:28:44.240 I just did feel like I didn't have a lot of gasoline in me today.

01:28:46.640 But sometimes that's the day, man.

01:28:48.400 Yeah.

01:28:48.860 You know?

01:28:49.220 It was great.

01:28:49.640 You were great.

01:28:50.100 But I'm grateful that we got to spend some time together, man.

01:28:52.180 I really am.

01:28:52.700 And thanks for all the entertainment over the years.

01:28:54.320 And yeah, just-

01:28:55.540 Thank you for Solo-me-o.

01:28:58.860 Solo-me-o, right?

01:29:00.140 Solo-me-o.

01:29:00.960 Solo-me-o.

01:29:02.600 But thank you-

01:29:03.460 But what- it's Solo-me-o.

01:29:05.400 I gotta remember that.

01:29:06.140 Okay.

01:29:06.440 Thank you for Solo-me-o.

01:29:08.600 Yes.

01:29:09.360 Okay.

01:29:10.000 That's even-

01:29:11.560 And there's a musical ensemble.

01:29:14.220 You wouldn't even imagine that this happens in this movie.

01:29:16.440 That's great.

01:29:17.100 Yeah.

01:29:17.860 And that guy's blind.

01:29:18.720 Do you know it?

01:29:19.520 Yeah.

01:29:20.380 I didn't know.

01:29:21.820 And finally, I'm looking at him.

01:29:23.180 I'm like, this guy's fucking nonchalant.

01:29:26.080 You know, about everything.

01:29:27.380 And then I'm like, oh, this guy's fucking blind or whatever.

01:29:29.560 My friend's blind.

01:29:31.060 You have a friend that's blind?

01:29:32.020 Yeah.

01:29:33.560 How blind?

01:29:34.260 Like, completely?

01:29:35.140 Nothing.

01:29:36.400 It's off.

01:29:36.900 But has he always been that way?

01:29:38.740 Yeah.

01:29:39.420 He's always been blind since he was-

01:29:41.080 Because-

01:29:41.100 Uh, yeah.

01:29:42.600 I mean, he could maybe have vision when he was very young, but he's always been blind.

01:29:47.320 Wow.

01:29:47.640 As long as I've known him, he's been blind.

01:29:50.400 I thought it was amazing.

01:29:51.740 Anytime I met somebody with, like, a deficiency, I always, like, admired it so much in some way.

01:29:55.660 My sister lost her sight.

01:29:56.700 Like, she's like-

01:29:57.700 But she just, you know, she was born with sight.

01:30:00.220 She was fine.

01:30:00.740 And now, you know, she's got retinitis pigmentosa where it's like, it goes away.

01:30:04.380 And I'm wondering if it's, like, more difficult to have seen or to never have, you know, and just, no, it's just, yeah, my heart goes out to all of them.

01:30:14.640 We had a blind girl on here one time, and she was talking about how she, like, learns things.

01:30:17.980 Like, it's almost like a video game.

01:30:19.420 It's like, that's how she kind of remembers things and where to go and different, like, and so, like, she can slowly build, like, spaces to, like, walk in and things like that, she said.

01:30:28.340 And then she said the worst animal that she's, she's, like, petted all kinds of animals except a snake doesn't give any energy back to the blind.

01:30:35.040 That's what she said.

01:30:36.580 Yeah, it doesn't give any back to the seeing either.

01:30:39.460 Yeah.

01:30:40.440 That's what I said.

01:30:41.320 Right?

01:30:42.120 Yeah, 100%.

01:30:42.840 Tanja.

01:30:43.940 Yeah.

01:30:44.520 Right there.

01:30:45.700 Law person.

01:30:46.560 Wow.

01:30:47.080 That's really, that's cool, man.

01:30:49.160 You can feel that.

01:30:49.700 She's awesome.

01:30:50.320 I got to check back in with her.

01:30:51.740 Awesome, man.

01:30:52.720 But, yeah, guys, go see Solomio.

01:30:54.940 You'll enjoy it.

01:30:55.720 Take your lady.

01:30:56.880 Yeah.

01:30:57.160 Take your man, take whoever you got, take your son, take your stepson.

01:31:01.180 That's who needs to.

01:31:01.940 Yes.

01:31:02.780 Bring your stepson.

01:31:03.720 Take your frickin' stepson, dude.

01:31:05.420 Take your stepson.

01:31:06.220 You've never taken that kid anyway.

01:31:07.380 That's all I want.

01:31:08.400 Stepson's in free.

01:31:09.280 We should do a whole thing, right?

01:31:10.740 Oh, dude, yeah.

01:31:11.460 Right?

01:31:12.060 Stepson's get in free.

01:31:13.200 I wonder if Angel can work that out.

01:31:14.480 And blinds get in free.

01:31:16.320 Sure.

01:31:17.280 Absolutely.

01:31:18.680 Let's do it.

01:31:20.220 Congratulations, man.

01:31:20.400 I appreciate you, man.

01:31:21.420 Yeah, you too, man.

01:31:22.200 Thank you so much.

01:31:22.880 Appreciate it.

01:31:23.340 Now, I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel like you're going to do it.

01:31:27.140 And I'm falling like these leaves.

01:31:29.280 I must be cornerstone.

01:31:34.560 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:31:39.900 I can feel it in my bones, but it's going to tell you.

01:31:46.060 Thank you.

01:31:46.400 Thank you.

01:31:46.740 Amen.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 09, 2026

#638 - Kevin James

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