This Past Weekend with Theo Von - A Plumber ｜ This Past Weekend #249

00:00:00.000 I want to let you know about some new shows that are coming out right now.

00:00:03.620 Toronto, we've just added a late show on February 21st.

00:00:09.380 February 15th, the Gold Country Casino in Oroville, California.

00:00:16.940 Those tickets are on sale now.

00:00:18.940 Still available January 14th in Oslo, Norway.

00:00:22.780 Las Vegas, January 31st and February 1st.

00:00:27.440 I will be at the Mirage Hotel and Casino.

00:00:30.440 Those tickets are a little higher priced than usual.

00:00:33.280 It's because it's a specialty weekend.

00:00:36.600 And that was the agreement that the theater would do with me.

00:00:41.820 So if it's too high priced for you, that's understandable.

00:00:45.460 I'll be back in the future at a more decent rate.

00:00:48.940 And also, I want to let you know, February 28th in Oxen Hill, Maryland.

00:00:53.760 At the MGM National Harbor.

00:00:56.600 Today's guest is a working man.

00:01:01.720 He is, this is one of my favorite episodes, and we're so glad that he was here.

00:01:07.080 He is a plumber and a regular man.

00:01:11.660 Ladies and gentlemen, the toilet champion is here.

00:01:15.560 Plumber Brad Laskoski.

00:01:17.480 We're here with Brad Laskoski.

00:01:40.360 And that's Polish, huh? 0.95

00:01:41.500 Oh yeah.

00:01:42.160 Polish power, dude.

00:01:44.060 Thanks for joining us today, man.

00:01:45.400 Oh, thanks for having me.

00:01:47.240 Yeah, just happy to talk to a plumber man, because I don't know anything really about plumbing.

00:01:50.940 Oh yeah, ask away.

00:01:51.740 You know?

00:01:52.060 All right, I'll think about this.

00:01:55.000 So what is the difference between plumbing and septic tank?

00:01:58.560 I was thinking about that.

00:01:59.720 All right.

00:02:00.120 Like sometimes you hear like, you know, you hear people have septic tanks.

00:02:03.740 I would hear a lot of times growing up, people had septic tanks, you know?

00:02:07.160 Or somebody got like, you know, something happened to them by a septic tank.

00:02:12.800 That's how I actually got my start, was dealing with septic tanks.

00:02:15.820 I started 20-something years ago with Roto-Rooter.

00:02:18.500 I'm sure you heard of them.

00:02:19.300 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:20.720 And that's a commercial outfit, isn't it?

00:02:22.960 Largest plumbing company in the world.

00:02:24.280 Is it really?

00:02:24.820 Yep.

00:02:25.320 Wow.

00:02:26.260 So yeah, the very first day I get hired, I got out of the Army, I was 20 years old,

00:02:31.320 I get hired with this-

00:02:32.160 By Roto, huh?

00:02:33.300 By Roto-Rooter, man, in Alabama.

00:02:35.480 And were they enlisting people?

00:02:39.540 I mean, was there like a program from the Army to Roto-Rooter?

00:02:42.220 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:02:43.340 I don't know.

00:02:44.080 I got out of the Army and I went to work at Lowe's, the home improvement store.

00:02:47.140 Oh yeah, I love that place.

00:02:47.940 I was actually, when I got out of the Army, I was 20 and I had applied to Atlanta SWAT

00:02:53.780 and I was going through all the SWAT qualifications and everything else because I was kind of heavy

00:02:58.660 duty in the military, you know?

00:02:59.900 So I didn't really have a whole lot of skills when I got out.

00:03:01.840 How'd you get out at 20?

00:03:02.760 I joined when I was 17. 1.00

00:03:04.800 Damn. 0.99

00:03:05.260 So I graduated early, you know, a little smart, you know, figured some stuff out. 0.99

00:03:10.400 And hard working you must have been, huh?

00:03:11.880 Very.

00:03:12.440 Still am.

00:03:13.100 Yeah.

00:03:13.320 Most people would call me the hardest worker they ever met.

00:03:15.460 Dang.

00:03:15.760 So I kind of take that as a point of pride, you know?

00:03:18.700 I could see that, dude.

00:03:19.540 You're like the Joe Rogan of plumbing, dude.

00:03:21.440 Because Joe Rogan, I think, is the hardest worker that I know.

00:03:24.180 That guy is busy.

00:03:25.400 Dude, I think there's nine Joe Rogans.

00:03:28.260 There has to be more than one because he's in too many places at once.

00:03:31.460 Sometimes I have a, I have like kind of a daydream where he's going to bring me in a room

00:03:35.060 and be like, hey, hey, I want you to meet these other Joe Rogans.

00:03:38.240 You're like, oh, I knew it.

00:03:39.760 I knew it.

00:03:40.500 I knew it, man.

00:03:42.460 Okay.

00:03:42.880 So you get out of the military.

00:03:44.100 So, yeah.

00:03:44.660 Dude, that's a note for young fellas if you're like, I don't know if I should go into the

00:03:47.920 military.

00:03:49.280 17 out by 20.

00:03:51.340 Yeah.

00:03:51.840 Yeah.

00:03:52.160 Wow.

00:03:52.340 I use my VA benefits.

00:03:54.400 You know, everything's cool.

00:03:56.080 Everything's like normal.

00:03:57.260 Yeah.

00:03:57.540 I just, I joined early.

00:03:58.720 I got out there.

00:03:59.200 I signed up for three.

00:03:59.960 I got out.

00:04:00.500 Okay.

00:04:00.900 So they offered to reenlist me, but I had just met this girl.

00:04:05.420 She was just pregnant. 0.99

00:04:06.880 You know, it was young.

00:04:07.840 Did you get her pregnant or she was pregnant when you met her? 0.98

00:04:10.880 Yeah.

00:04:11.280 Wow.

00:04:11.680 That's a brave deal. 0.99

00:04:13.360 I stuck on with that crap for seven years too. 1.00

00:04:15.980 With her and her kid? 1.00

00:04:17.440 Well, we eventually had one too.

00:04:19.520 Her and I.

00:04:19.960 Like a few years later, her and I.

00:04:21.760 Okay.

00:04:21.940 So you got married.

00:04:22.760 Yeah.

00:04:23.160 All right.

00:04:23.820 And then divorce, 27 left.

00:04:25.420 Anyway, the point of the septic thing was, dude that hires me is a big old fat dude from

00:04:31.100 Alabama, you know, Southern as all can be.

00:04:33.860 Yeah.

00:04:34.160 It's going to take you out on your first day.

00:04:35.720 You'll see it's not that bad.

00:04:36.880 Okay.

00:04:37.160 And we go out and dig up a septic tank, which is plumbing.

00:04:39.920 And people hide them or what?

00:04:41.240 They're always buried.

00:04:42.180 Oh, wow.

00:04:42.640 So the pipe that leaves your house goes underground and it goes out to a box in the yard.

00:04:47.560 And that, it basically naturally decomposes everything that's in there.

00:04:52.900 Okay.

00:04:53.200 So it's compost almost kind of in a way.

00:04:55.220 Yeah.

00:04:55.460 Yeah.

00:04:55.620 Yeah.

00:04:55.700 But it's, it's, it's a big, it's, it's five feet deep.

00:04:58.460 It's, it's a big box.

00:04:59.560 You could bury a lot of bodies in there.

00:05:00.900 You could, you could.

00:05:02.180 And it's, so it's five feet deep and it's buried in the ground.

00:05:04.580 Yeah.

00:05:04.740 Usually a foot deep, maybe more.

00:05:06.220 Okay.

00:05:06.780 And, and, and it's five.

00:05:08.160 How is it square?

00:05:09.220 It's a, uh, it's about like this table, you know, it's a big, long rectangle, maybe a

00:05:12.800 little wider or so.

00:05:13.900 It's about five feet deep or so.

00:05:15.260 I saw a dude weld one and a half one time.

00:05:17.140 And I remember some of us.

00:05:18.020 They're usually concrete.

00:05:19.260 Uh, well then this guy kind of, I guess, welded it with like a, um, maybe a concrete.

00:05:25.080 Sure.

00:05:25.540 Well, he might've used a, he might've had a steel box.

00:05:28.080 Cause I mean, you, I've seen some rustic septic tanks made out of 55 gallon drums with holes

00:05:33.020 punched in the sides.

00:05:34.240 Okay.

00:05:34.480 So you've seen some rural ones.

00:05:35.960 I've seen.

00:05:37.160 You've seen them.

00:05:37.880 I've seen. 1.00

00:05:38.860 You've seen fucking the Noah's Ark of fucking in ground shit. 1.00

00:05:42.620 You better believe it. 1.00

00:05:43.600 In Alabama, they'll do whatever it takes.

00:05:45.540 Oh yeah.

00:05:46.040 I went to one house in Alabama.

00:05:47.400 They didn't even have a septic tank.

00:05:49.040 The pipe went down.

00:05:50.200 It went out about a hundred yards and that was it.

00:05:53.200 Oh wow.

00:05:53.700 It just left out on the ground.

00:05:55.420 Wow.

00:05:56.180 Yeah.

00:05:56.740 Roots were all growing up into the end of the pipe and everything.

00:05:59.280 So I had to go there and cut them all off and open it out and snake the pipe out and

00:06:02.820 get everything good to go and everything.

00:06:04.880 So, but that's no septic tank.

00:06:06.780 Yeah.

00:06:06.920 Just a long pipe.

00:06:07.840 You're freelance old school.

00:06:09.120 Uh, it's illegal.

00:06:10.160 It is.

00:06:10.660 Yeah.

00:06:10.900 You can't do that.

00:06:12.020 Blackwater needs to be contained.

00:06:13.600 Okay.

00:06:13.940 So that's really the rule.

00:06:15.060 Yeah.

00:06:15.320 Blackwater has to be contained.

00:06:16.640 Brown water or gray water, like kitchen sink water and, uh, washing machines, dishwasher,

00:06:21.680 stuff like that.

00:06:22.300 You can actually, uh, and I do, uh, install a 55 gallon drum with a pump in it and separate

00:06:29.180 those lines from a septic tank.

00:06:31.400 Okay.

00:06:31.660 So all that washing machine water, that's bad for a septic tank now goes into a 55 gallon

00:06:36.440 drum with a pump in it.

00:06:38.040 And then you can water your yard with that.

00:06:40.020 Okay.

00:06:40.540 So that's the washing machine water, that gray water.

00:06:42.800 Yeah.

00:06:42.960 You can take that into a drum.

00:06:45.040 Yeah.

00:06:45.280 If you wanted to, and then reuse that.

00:06:47.560 It's actually good.

00:06:48.300 Cause it's got soap in it and soap and the phosphates are good for your grass.

00:06:51.180 Oh, wow.

00:06:51.920 Yeah.

00:06:52.260 Go figure.

00:06:52.860 So that's, so, but the dark water, the black, black water has to be by law has to be contained,

00:06:59.440 contained.

00:07:00.020 Yeah.

00:07:00.400 And then what do you do after you contain it?

00:07:02.200 Well, in a septic tank system, after a couple of years, all that stuff breaks down and separates

00:07:06.460 the solids will sink to the bottom and turn to a sludge.

00:07:09.380 The things that are not biodegradable, like a wedding ring or something, like if a dog

00:07:16.040 eats a wedding ring.

00:07:16.800 Anything that would sink will go to the bottom, obviously, but anything that's grease won't

00:07:21.200 biodegrade.

00:07:21.920 It'll collect and it'll turn into a ball, basically a hard kind of crust on the top of the septic

00:07:26.500 tank water or condoms won't biodegrade.

00:07:29.500 They'll float.

00:07:30.380 Oh, wow.

00:07:31.680 Man.

00:07:32.100 One time I popped a septic tank open and I saw about 10,000 condoms in there.

00:07:36.520 I swear.

00:07:36.820 I mean, I didn't count them or anything, but they were all over the top.

00:07:39.520 And who was the guy?

00:07:40.380 A little Asian guy.

00:07:41.300 No, no, no.

00:07:41.920 It was the homeowner.

00:07:43.040 Him.

00:07:43.440 He was standing there watching me dig this tank up, right?

00:07:46.820 So I have kids or something.

00:07:48.360 Like, was he shot?

00:07:49.480 No.

00:07:49.720 Oh, yeah.

00:07:50.800 Because they weren't his condoms.

00:07:52.280 No way.

00:07:53.040 I could have guessed it was a homeowner.

00:07:55.340 Yeah.

00:07:55.860 He was standing there watching me.

00:07:57.240 I popped it.

00:07:57.860 Well, he called me because his toilet wouldn't flush no more, right?

00:08:00.820 And I get there and I snake the drain out and it won't go down.

00:08:03.800 I'm like, well, I got to dig up your tank.

00:08:05.340 So I dig up the tank.

00:08:06.480 And when I open up the tank and you look down, they're just everywhere.

00:08:09.000 They're coating the wall, the pink ones and green ones and blue.

00:08:11.800 I mean, every color of the rainbow.

00:08:13.440 Jesus, Easter colors, huh?

00:08:14.940 Dude worked at a tire manufacturing plant, the graveyard shift, for like 20 years.

00:08:20.040 And I'm betting every night.

00:08:21.720 No way.

00:08:22.120 She had somebody coming.

00:08:23.400 They got a divorce after that.

00:08:24.260 So you really?

00:08:25.180 So that's, man, that's crazy.

00:08:27.640 Right. 0.99

00:08:27.760 So sometimes opening up that septic tank, it's almost like a time capsule for your butt or 0.97

00:08:31.760 almost or for your, you know, for below the waist. 0.91

00:08:34.800 It's almost like a time capsule for what you or anything you've been doing in your home.

00:08:38.420 Yep.

00:08:38.580 Really?

00:08:38.940 Yep.

00:08:39.400 Yep.

00:08:39.900 I mean, that actually happened twice.

00:08:42.300 That instance caused a divorce. 0.78

00:08:45.020 The next time that happened where I found condoms in the tank, it was a young girl. 1.00

00:08:49.320 She was like 14 or 15.

00:08:50.560 Oh.

00:08:50.700 And it was her grandma's house.

00:08:51.960 Oh.

00:08:52.400 And the grandma was standing there watching me.

00:08:54.320 And whose were they, you think?

00:08:55.360 They were the granddaughters, for sure.

00:08:56.920 Oh.

00:08:57.300 I mean, it was just a, those are the only two ladies living in the house, is the 14-year-old 1.00

00:09:01.340 girl and the grandma.

00:09:02.160 Oh, that's so awkward.

00:09:03.120 And the grandma's like, they ain't mine.

00:09:05.840 Hey, dude.

00:09:07.320 That's going to be an awkward game of go fish that they play later in the day, you know?

00:09:11.200 Where'd you get all these?

00:09:12.920 Why are they in here?

00:09:15.300 So that's why, so you started in Alabama.

00:09:17.940 Yeah.

00:09:18.280 You worked with a man.

00:09:19.120 Do you remember the gentleman?

00:09:20.580 The guy who hired me?

00:09:21.560 Yeah.

00:09:21.840 Oh, absolutely.

00:09:22.660 We still talk.

00:09:23.400 Oh, that's cool, man.

00:09:23.940 Yeah, he's a good man.

00:09:24.800 He is?

00:09:25.220 And so now when you, what was like your vibe when you started working there?

00:09:28.920 Were you like, oh, this is a career that I want to make?

00:09:32.100 Or were you like, this is just a job that I want to do?

00:09:34.580 What was kind of your goal, if you had any going into it?

00:09:38.480 You know, the money.

00:09:40.300 I didn't really have a goal going into it.

00:09:42.120 The money just sticks you.

00:09:43.400 Plumbing pays well.

00:09:44.520 Yeah.

00:09:44.920 And it always has, so.

00:09:46.240 And they say, I've heard, this is a saying in the universe, that plumbers make more than

00:09:52.480 lawyers.

00:09:53.360 I believe that.

00:09:54.180 You do.

00:09:54.700 Yeah.

00:09:55.060 And how does that break down?

00:09:56.460 Because why?

00:09:59.060 Lawyers ain't working 40 hours a week.

00:10:00.900 Right.

00:10:01.340 You know what I mean?

00:10:02.080 They get paid a lot for what they do, but they don't do it all the time.

00:10:05.520 Right.

00:10:05.760 So that's great that they get $400 an hour, three hours a week.

00:10:10.680 Right.

00:10:11.020 You know, I work 50, 60 hours a week, every week.

00:10:14.180 Right.

00:10:14.820 You know, I'm only charging 100, maybe more or whatever, but.

00:10:19.620 But you add it up over time.

00:10:20.900 Add it up.

00:10:21.360 That's the way you do it.

00:10:21.920 Yeah.

00:10:22.080 Because you always hear that.

00:10:22.880 You always hear that lawyer, that plumbers make more than lawyers.

00:10:26.860 That's just like a thing I've always heard.

00:10:28.240 Or doctors.

00:10:28.980 I heard it as doctors, but I mean, same thing.

00:10:31.240 I went to a university professor's house years ago, and I handed him the bill at the

00:10:36.540 end, and he just flipped out.

00:10:38.040 Like, he was just, couldn't believe it cost that much.

00:10:40.960 You charge more than doctors do.

00:10:43.960 Do you realize it took me 10 years to learn how to do this?

00:10:46.940 Right.

00:10:47.180 You know, it literally is a 10-year program.

00:10:49.700 You know, it's as hard, I think, of course, because I went down that road, as any eight

00:10:56.300 year doctorate or master's degree that you're going to get.

00:10:59.220 To become, I get, yeah.

00:11:01.060 I mean, anything, you're gaining knowledge.

00:11:02.720 Yeah.

00:11:03.560 To become a well-rounded plumber, anyway.

00:11:05.580 Yeah.

00:11:06.440 And so you start this job, you got the guy with Roto-Rooter.

00:11:10.080 Yeah.

00:11:10.360 And so you worked there for how long?

00:11:12.600 With that guy for five years, a little over five years.

00:11:15.880 Dude gave me a $1,000 bonus for every year I worked for him.

00:11:19.020 Did he really? 1.00

00:11:19.800 Damn. 0.99

00:11:19.900 So second year was two grand, third year's three, fifth year was five. 0.99

00:11:23.320 That was nice.

00:11:23.660 Next time you use this later in his Christmas bonus discussion, too, I can already tell. 1.00

00:11:28.420 Fuck, man. 1.00

00:11:29.140 Yeah. 1.00

00:11:29.260 I was hoping to fucking... 0.99

00:11:30.240 Bro, that's God working right there because it's been on my mind and then you bring it 0.98

00:11:34.860 up and he's in here in the room.

00:11:36.100 Dude needs a little bit of help every once in a while, right?

00:11:38.620 This is an expensive area.

00:11:39.520 He's the hardest worker.

00:11:40.080 He's the hardest worker I know.

00:11:41.520 He works very hard and he really is, man.

00:11:43.800 Well, hook him up.

00:11:44.500 And he's very good.

00:11:45.460 Yeah, I agree with you.

00:11:47.140 I think we try.

00:11:47.920 We do our best.

00:11:48.600 I saw on one of your other shows, you were talking about if it came down to killing him 0.91

00:11:53.060 or killing you, you might not even kill him. 0.95

00:11:56.020 Yeah. 0.99

00:11:56.260 That's a pretty big step.

00:11:59.240 I forgot I said that, but I still agree with myself.

00:12:03.620 Okay.

00:12:03.780 So, and also with plumbing, if it's a holiday, then those prices are higher, right?

00:12:11.160 You have to do it, don't you?

00:12:12.800 When I was working for the commercial companies, yeah.

00:12:15.420 I see.

00:12:15.840 They did.

00:12:16.340 Now that I actually quit working for commercial companies, mostly because I was tired of hearing

00:12:23.980 the complaints from the customers about how much it costs.

00:12:26.320 Oh, really?

00:12:26.860 You know, I'm going and doing the work and I'm getting paid from the company.

00:12:31.100 Right.

00:12:31.260 But not very much.

00:12:32.380 Okay.

00:12:32.700 Not as, obviously not as much as now.

00:12:34.860 Yeah.

00:12:35.800 But, I mean, you got to understand, any large company, they got overhead, they got, you

00:12:39.200 know, insurances that are humongous.

00:12:42.360 Yeah, you just have to get insurance just for having a place.

00:12:45.080 Dude, my L&I just for myself is almost 20 grand a month or a year.

00:12:48.860 A year.

00:12:49.300 And if I were to add on like an apprentice or something, it doubles.

00:12:52.840 It's wild, isn't it?

00:12:53.880 That's why I do everything by myself.

00:12:55.420 Right.

00:12:56.320 Yeah, no, it's interesting.

00:12:57.320 Yeah, it's like you got to get, yeah, I just realized we have to get a policy in case anything

00:13:01.700 like an errors and omissions policy we have to get for podcasting now.

00:13:05.700 You have to get Workman's Comp.

00:13:07.380 Yep, Workman's Comp.

00:13:08.740 And EPL and I, or some similar type of policy that I just, that they just sent me something

00:13:13.800 for the other day.

00:13:14.420 It's like, I don't even know if I can afford it.

00:13:16.480 So it's like, but it's interesting.

00:13:18.400 Yeah, once you start to, if you want to build something bigger or add more, more.

00:13:23.860 There's more costs and liabilities that are incurred.

00:13:27.320 And they say, you know, California is the hardest place to run either a small business

00:13:33.120 or to get a startup going.

00:13:35.140 Yeah.

00:13:35.260 There's so many restrictions and so many fees and regulations that govern.

00:13:41.140 It's crazy.

00:13:42.020 It's amazing.

00:13:42.640 It's like, what's even going on here?

00:13:44.780 When I was in Hawaii, I was rolling in money.

00:13:47.940 Yeah.

00:13:48.360 Just didn't have to worry about nothing.

00:13:51.260 Now, how do you, how do you plumb in Hawaii?

00:13:54.820 Because?

00:13:56.380 Slower.

00:13:58.120 Everything's slower.

00:13:59.040 Well, it seems like you have like all the water pushing on the island.

00:14:02.900 It's going to push everything back up the toilet. 0.97

00:14:05.000 Nah, nah, nah.

00:14:06.360 I mean, their infrastructure is, you know, significantly improved from way back those days.

00:14:11.500 You know, everything's built up.

00:14:12.700 Everything's feet off the ground and all that.

00:14:14.220 But they have sanitary sewer systems, which is, which is the name for, you call it sanitary

00:14:21.520 sewer. 0.98

00:14:22.080 I don't know why, because it's not fucking sanitary at all. 0.98

00:14:24.700 It isn't? 0.98

00:14:25.660 There's turds floating down.

00:14:27.840 This pipe that leaves this building is called the sanitary sewer line.

00:14:33.260 Okay.

00:14:33.760 It's full of turds.

00:14:35.040 It's not sanitary in any way.

00:14:37.100 I have no idea.

00:14:37.720 And who's are they?

00:14:37.920 They don't know?

00:14:38.820 I mean.

00:14:39.080 They're everybody.

00:14:39.840 Everybody in the building.

00:14:40.920 You know what I'm saying?

00:14:41.300 Oh, everybody in the building.

00:14:41.980 Okay. 1.00

00:14:42.440 I'm like, fuck. 1.00

00:14:43.020 I just thought we were like, on a damn fucking- 1.00

00:14:45.260 No, no, no. 1.00

00:14:45.740 On the San Andreas part line.

00:14:46.160 The exit of this building has one great big pipe that leaves it from all the smaller pipes

00:14:50.840 that come from each toilet.

00:14:51.880 Okay.

00:14:52.240 They all join together and make one big pipe.

00:14:54.440 That pipe goes out to the street, which is a bigger pipe, probably 12, 14, 24 inches.

00:14:59.200 Who knows?

00:14:59.640 A city like this is probably big.

00:15:01.180 Okay.

00:15:01.740 And all the turds are floating down that.

00:15:03.340 Okay.

00:15:03.740 It's a constant stream.

00:15:05.000 It looks like a river.

00:15:05.700 If you were to open up a manhole in the street and look down there, it's a constant stream.

00:15:09.600 And that's a black water?

00:15:10.860 Yeah.

00:15:11.160 That's black water.

00:15:11.840 Okay.

00:15:12.380 Contained.

00:15:12.900 That's contained.

00:15:13.600 But they call it sanitary.

00:15:15.340 And in my whole life of plumbing, 25 years or whatever, it's always been called sanitary

00:15:20.020 sewer.

00:15:20.920 Yeah.

00:15:21.760 Why?

00:15:22.280 I think probably to give people a safe idea, just like, oh-

00:15:24.880 I suppose.

00:15:25.300 In case they see the pipe, they're like, oh, yeah.

00:15:27.240 It's-

00:15:27.460 Yeah.

00:15:27.740 We're doing our best.

00:15:28.840 It's sanitary.

00:15:29.720 It's down there.

00:15:30.520 Yeah.

00:15:30.780 Yeah.

00:15:30.920 It's out of the way.

00:15:31.520 It's sanitary.

00:15:32.000 It's hidden.

00:15:32.380 So all that goes to a sewer treatment facility where they process and treat it and then release

00:15:40.300 the clean water into a stream and out to the ocean.

00:15:43.180 Okay.

00:15:43.460 And is it really clean when it gets out there?

00:15:46.860 You can be honest.

00:15:48.060 It passes EPA standards.

00:15:49.940 Right.

00:15:50.340 We'll leave it at that.

00:15:51.320 You know, I wouldn't drink it.

00:15:52.800 I wouldn't drink any of the water near it.

00:15:54.480 What if you made an ice tray cube of trays, like ice of it?

00:15:57.820 Would you put one cube, like, in a soda or something? 1.00

00:15:59.720 Fuck, no. 1.00

00:16:00.620 Come on, bro. 1.00

00:16:02.100 No.

00:16:02.620 Come on, dude.

00:16:03.460 No.

00:16:04.580 No.

00:16:05.060 Bro, you got to get a little more polis in that, man.

00:16:07.980 I have been around enough turds in my life, man.

00:16:10.340 Have you?

00:16:12.100 After, like, 11 years of that, I had to give up on the Roto-Rooter thing.

00:16:16.160 And the-

00:16:16.360 And the Roto-Rooter deals mostly with feces.

00:16:19.320 Now, what is the-

00:16:19.980 Let me ask you.

00:16:20.560 What's the term that's comfortable to use? 0.99

00:16:22.400 It's like, because every time if a plumber comes over, I don't know if I say shit, do 0.99

00:16:25.400 I say poop, do I say turds, do I- 0.99

00:16:28.760 Whatever you like, man. 0.91

00:16:29.640 Okay.

00:16:30.040 Whatever you like.

00:16:31.540 You know?

00:16:32.460 They all work.

00:16:34.000 Okay.

00:16:36.080 I had this guy in Alabama one time.

00:16:39.140 I knock on the door and everything, you know, Roto-Rooter, man, I'm here.

00:16:43.080 And he opens the door and he goes, thank God you're here, man.

00:16:45.940 I've been fighting these turds all morning. 0.99

00:16:48.100 Oh, damn. 0.99

00:16:48.680 And I go in there and he's got just water sprayed up all over the walls. 1.00

00:16:53.780 He's been plunging the shit out of this toilet for like an hour and making no headway. 0.98

00:16:58.300 Oh. 0.99

00:16:58.820 I said, give me that.

00:16:59.960 And I take the dude's plunger and he goes, that ain't gonna work.

00:17:02.320 You're gonna need something way more than that.

00:17:04.240 And I put it in there and hit it like two, three times.

00:17:06.740 Pop.

00:17:07.580 It goes away. 0.99

00:17:09.220 How the fuck do you do that? 1.00

00:17:10.620 Damn. 1.00

00:17:11.640 Man, I do this for a living. 1.00

00:17:14.320 This is what I do.

00:17:16.200 Do some people, like, is it uncomfortable?

00:17:19.980 I feel like it's uncomfortable if you go into a place.

00:17:24.000 Does the guy, do you, like, does somebody be like, okay, I pooped in here?

00:17:28.720 Do people just kind of vague about it? 0.99

00:17:30.220 Hey, somebody shit in here. 0.99

00:17:31.660 What do people say? 0.99

00:17:32.480 Sometimes people are super embarrassed and they're like, I'm really sorry about it.

00:17:36.340 That's how I would be.

00:17:37.360 Yeah, I would too.

00:17:38.440 Hey, if it were me, I'd get to tear it out.

00:17:41.240 Yeah.

00:17:41.500 I mean, if I didn't know what to do.

00:17:43.440 Right, put it on a paper or something, run it outside or something.

00:17:45.120 Get it out there.

00:17:45.840 Yeah.

00:17:46.780 Fish scoop it up or whatever you gotta do.

00:17:49.180 Do what you can, man.

00:17:50.260 I mean, I've seen some rose petals in there or something, you know.

00:17:53.460 So I can't call this lady out.

00:17:55.160 She's probably dead by now anyway. 0.51

00:17:56.480 But I used to have this one customer.

00:17:57.920 It was the sweetest, nicest lady.

00:17:59.360 I went to her house probably three years, you know, constantly.

00:18:03.260 I was going to her house like every month, once a month, I'd go to her house and unstop 0.99

00:18:08.700 both of her toilets because I know this little graphic, but she would shit baseballs. 1.00

00:18:15.940 Oh, wow. 0.99

00:18:16.480 Really? 1.00

00:18:16.800 Just round balls of shit. 1.00

00:18:18.900 I'm not sure what was going on with her intestines. 1.00

00:18:21.440 We used to talk about it, the Roto-Rooter guys.

00:18:23.680 You would be like, what's up with this lady? 1.00

00:18:25.680 How does this happen?

00:18:26.720 She's got the Walker Bueller colon right there.

00:18:28.760 She's got something going on.

00:18:30.320 Out they go, you know.

00:18:32.320 That Joe Musgrove, man. 0.97

00:18:34.040 I'm wondering, if she's shitting baseballs, how fast do they come out? 0.99

00:18:38.900 You know, could we clock these things? 0.91

00:18:41.220 Oh, it must be so intense.

00:18:42.920 Is it like a curve ball, a slider?

00:18:45.200 It's probably a slider.

00:18:46.620 Yeah.

00:18:47.620 It's probably a slider, man.

00:18:50.680 So anyway, they would clog the toilet. 0.99

00:18:52.440 And you get in there and what?

00:18:54.320 So if you can't hit it with a plunger, which these turds were solid, man. 0.79

00:18:58.480 They were packed.

00:19:00.180 They were well-built turds.

00:19:01.700 And do you think she's eating something unique?

00:19:03.400 She is.

00:19:04.240 Whatever her diet is, is creating this like paste turds. 1.00

00:19:08.640 So we had a snake for the toilet, right? 0.87

00:19:12.360 That you stick in the toilet to unstop it.

00:19:14.160 It'll grab things too.

00:19:15.680 This snake would like go through the turd and just put a little hole in it. 1.00

00:19:18.780 And then once you pull the snake out, it's like the turd would close back up like Jell-O.

00:19:23.100 The turd would just close back up.

00:19:24.620 Like Terminator.

00:19:26.280 Yeah, like the liquid Terminator, you know?

00:19:29.380 So you'd basically just have to run that snake back and forth and back and forth until you could break up enough of that turd to get the water helping it out to flush this thing all the way through.

00:19:39.500 And how far does that Roto-Rooter thing go?

00:19:41.200 That one would only go through the toilet, like four or five feet.

00:19:43.680 Oh, wow.

00:19:44.080 Just right to the – yeah, because the toilet will go down and then up and then down again. 0.99

00:19:48.180 And that's about three feet by the time it finishes.

00:19:50.540 Okay.

00:19:50.800 That's really all you need.

00:19:51.820 Right.

00:19:52.020 Because if it's any farther than that, you need to pull the toilet off the floor and go after the pipe.

00:19:56.840 Okay.

00:19:57.280 You know what I'm saying?

00:19:58.000 So at that point, yeah, once you do – after that three feet, you're going into –

00:20:02.180 Into the pipe.

00:20:02.840 Into the sewer system.

00:20:03.800 It's a different ballgame.

00:20:04.920 Yeah, it gets a little more expensive after that usually.

00:20:07.300 Okay.

00:20:08.020 And why does the pipe on the toilet go up and down like that after?

00:20:11.980 It would seem like a straight pipe would help out better.

00:20:14.840 It's a trap.

00:20:15.800 It has to go down and up like that so water always stays in that portion right there. 0.98

00:20:21.260 Otherwise, you're going to smell shit coming out of the pipe all the time. 0.67

00:20:26.680 That water there prevents the smell from coming back. 0.99

00:20:30.220 Ah, so that's why it has that kind of snake, that S-curve.

00:20:33.640 P-trap.

00:20:34.140 The P-trap.

00:20:34.680 Yeah, same thing underneath your sink.

00:20:36.540 You see that little U-bend underneath there?

00:20:38.420 Right, the U-bend.

00:20:39.160 That's the same thing.

00:20:39.780 It stinks, but it's up in – it's stuck in the top part of that pipe?

00:20:42.660 Well, anything downstream of that – where that water is smells really bad.

00:20:47.780 I see.

00:20:48.180 That water is what blocks the gas, sewer gas, from coming back at you.

00:20:51.580 Oh, wow. 1.00

00:20:52.160 You ever go into a building and it just kind of smells like shit? 1.00

00:20:55.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:20:55.700 Like the whole place smells like sewer and you can't figure it out?

00:20:58.740 Usually what that is is a dry floor drain somewhere because floor drains, even in the

00:21:02.680 bathrooms, they have that same P-trap in the bottom of them. 0.84

00:21:05.940 But if nobody pours water in them, that'll evaporate.

00:21:09.100 Here's a free tip for like everybody out there.

00:21:11.840 That'll evaporate and then you'll get that sewer gas smell coming in.

00:21:15.180 Oh, because it's coming in because there's no water there to block it from coming up.

00:21:17.860 So a lot of times you just – I mean so many times I'd walk into a building and I know

00:21:22.080 that smell well.

00:21:23.160 We got this smell.

00:21:24.160 We don't know – oh, yeah, I know it.

00:21:25.880 And then I'd just search around and find the dry floor drain, pour some water in there

00:21:28.860 and give me my money.

00:21:30.080 Yeah, dang, I'm out.

00:21:31.320 Right?

00:21:31.800 So a lot of this probably over the years you learn these different ways of like, oh, okay,

00:21:36.360 instead of going through every pipe in the building the first time to the thousandth

00:21:40.880 time you come in, it's the smell, you find the dry drain, boom, and I'm done.

00:21:44.680 Oh, man.

00:21:45.080 You know, after 20 years of experience, it pays tons.

00:21:49.820 It really does pay dividends.

00:21:51.100 And it should.

00:21:51.620 Well, yeah.

00:21:52.260 And it should because you put in the time.

00:21:54.260 So is there certain points where like do you feel – oh, I'll interrupt you about the

00:22:00.440 story with that lady.

00:22:02.360 Or was that it?

00:22:03.040 She just had some wild –

00:22:03.920 She just had wild turrets, man, and we used to talk about it.

00:22:06.240 We would never, you know, shame her or embarrass her.

00:22:09.280 Just go there and take care of it.

00:22:10.720 We're sorry to, you know, give us a call when you need us.

00:22:13.820 We gave her a super discounted rate because she called us all the time.

00:22:17.040 Right.

00:22:17.800 Eventually.

00:22:18.560 And she used to give – the first lady that I married, the kid, the daughter that she 1.00

00:22:24.260 had that wasn't mine.

00:22:25.200 Right.

00:22:25.580 Was – she used to give that girl presents. 0.99

00:22:28.460 Oh.

00:22:28.580 Little dolls and stuff.

00:22:29.600 So she's almost like, you know –

00:22:31.760 Family a little.

00:22:32.240 Yeah, a little community, you know.

00:22:33.520 Yeah.

00:22:34.020 Here's for your daughter, you know.

00:22:35.240 Yeah.

00:22:35.780 So after like three years of feeling guilty on stopping this lady's toilet every month, 1.00

00:22:41.560 look, on my day off, I'm going to come over and I'm going to install you two pressure

00:22:46.720 assisted power toilets for free.

00:22:49.180 Dang.

00:22:50.080 You pay for the toilets.

00:22:51.360 I'll give you the labor for free.

00:22:53.320 And I went over there on a Saturday.

00:22:54.520 I jerked her old toilets out that were, you know, obviously not up to the challenge she 1.00

00:22:58.800 was putting on them and put in these – you've seen those –

00:23:03.380 That body works.

00:23:04.260 You lay in it.

00:23:04.580 Those jet toilets where you flush them and they just sound like a jet engine going off.

00:23:08.380 Yeah.

00:23:08.720 Yeah.

00:23:08.880 I put two of those in.

00:23:10.300 She never called us again.

00:23:11.380 Wow.

00:23:12.380 Fixed.

00:23:12.980 Good to go.

00:23:13.820 I mean, she did call us like a year later because her kitchen sink was stopped up or

00:23:16.820 something like that.

00:23:17.360 But how many thousands of dollars did that just save over the lifetime of all that?

00:23:24.180 You got to do that every once in a while.

00:23:25.760 Yeah.

00:23:25.960 Yeah.

00:23:26.360 You help out, man.

00:23:27.200 You help out where you can, especially if you notice those patterns.

00:23:29.600 Yeah.

00:23:29.840 You know, you're like at some point it does get to be like, oh, I'm – yeah, I'm

00:23:33.540 keep giving this person – this person keeps giving me business.

00:23:36.820 But at a certain point I can just be helpful or something.

00:23:39.440 You almost feel like you're robbing them after a while.

00:23:41.060 Yeah, at a certain point.

00:23:41.940 Yeah.

00:23:42.300 I like having that thing inside of you that feels like that because then it tells you when

00:23:45.920 to like be one way and when to be another way.

00:23:48.380 And that's why I do it by myself now.

00:23:50.100 Yeah.

00:23:50.220 I can't do it for a company.

00:23:51.420 They charge too much.

00:23:52.660 And so you did Roto-Rooter for how long?

00:23:54.680 11 years.

00:23:55.320 And that was in Alabama?

00:23:56.440 No, no, no.

00:23:56.900 I had five years in Alabama and six years in Tacoma and Seattle.

00:23:59.660 Oh, wow.

00:24:00.380 Yeah.

00:24:00.620 So when I got divorced in Alabama, I moved to Washington, which is where I was born.

00:24:05.120 And that's higher altitude and people are –

00:24:06.980 No, it's sea level.

00:24:08.080 Oh, it is?

00:24:08.580 Yeah, yeah.

00:24:08.880 I was right on the water, right in Seattle.

00:24:10.720 It's sea level.

00:24:11.740 Huh.

00:24:12.160 Yeah.

00:24:12.460 I just feel like overall – Nick, will you just look that up?

00:24:14.780 And I'm not challenging.

00:24:15.980 I'm just curious myself.

00:24:17.420 Is Seattle what the difference in land elevation is?

00:24:23.640 For some reason, I always think of the south as being like a lower –

00:24:27.780 I'm not sure what it was in Alabama.

00:24:30.760 But when I was in Alabama, I want to say they were a couple hundred feet up where Seattle is –

00:24:36.320 I mean, there's water right there, right in front of you.

00:24:38.260 Right.

00:24:38.580 That water is sea level because it's the Puget Sound.

00:24:40.940 Oh, yeah.

00:24:41.160 That's the dang sea.

00:24:42.100 Yeah.

00:24:42.640 You're right.

00:24:43.120 So, base elevation in Alabama, probably a couple hundred feet maybe.

00:24:47.160 Oh, 500 feet above sea level.

00:24:48.560 There you go.

00:24:48.900 I mean, elevation is like 500 feet above sea level.

00:24:51.080 Highest point in Seattle is 520 feet.

00:24:53.200 Yeah, you got some hills for sure, but the lowest point, which is sea level.

00:24:56.960 Wow.

00:24:57.740 Gang, bro.

00:24:59.180 Average elevation is 170.

00:25:00.980 All right.

00:25:01.840 So, anyway.

00:25:02.640 So, yeah, that's a lot closer.

00:25:03.620 Everywhere you're driving around, the Pacific Northwest, Seattle, and all the surrounding areas,

00:25:07.500 a lot of the area, you're looking at water.

00:25:09.460 Right.

00:25:09.620 You know, at the sound out there.

00:25:11.360 So, not elevation so much, but cold, rainy, wet, gray.

00:25:19.000 And how does that affect plumbing?

00:25:20.260 Like, is there a different type of plumbing going on?

00:25:22.320 That's what I want to know.

00:25:23.160 Is there a different plumbing going on in the Pacific Northwest that we don't know about or something,

00:25:27.980 as opposed to what's going on like in Alabama?

00:25:29.880 In Alabama, the rules – so, when I was in Alabama, they ran off the National Plumbing Code,

00:25:35.240 which is a book about three-quarters of an inch thick or so.

00:25:39.400 Got a lot of pages in it, maybe 100 pages or so.

00:25:42.040 National Plumbing Code, pretty simple.

00:25:43.620 Do what you want as long as it works, basically, and don't leak.

00:25:46.520 Right.

00:25:46.740 I moved to Washington, and they – as California does now, too, but back then, they didn't – Uniform Plumbing Code,

00:25:54.940 which is the gold standard, and that book is like this thick.

00:25:58.940 And it's got addendums and additions and revisements. 0.98

00:26:02.640 It's like the shit Constitution or something. 0.99

00:26:04.680 My God, it's unreal. 1.00

00:26:06.100 It's crazy.

00:26:06.820 It's everything out West.

00:26:08.000 Once you get out here, there's so much paperwork and this and that, and you got to – and nobody – 0.98

00:26:12.580 if somebody doesn't want to work at all, you got a fee, you got to fucking buy them a hat. 0.79

00:26:16.480 You got to pay – taxes are more – all that. 0.98

00:26:18.520 The farther west you go, the harder it is on the working man.

00:26:22.180 Yeah.

00:26:22.700 It really is.

00:26:23.800 So, they say Washington's the hardest state to get a license in for plumbers.

00:26:27.700 Michigan's the second hardest.

00:26:29.100 Really?

00:26:29.680 Yeah. 0.99

00:26:30.180 You'd think people would be doing a lot of shit in Michigan, and they would need more help. 0.99

00:26:33.920 That's what it's about. 1.00

00:26:34.340 Because all their shit freezes. 1.00

00:26:35.500 Oh, really? 0.99

00:26:36.240 You know, I mean, they have –

00:26:38.140 Oh, I didn't even think about that.

00:26:39.400 Dude, imagine now it's frozen. 1.00

00:26:41.080 Frozen shit. 1.00

00:26:41.760 You got a whole different battle, bro. 1.00

00:26:43.320 That's insane. 1.00

00:26:44.200 You can't run a sewer cable through frozen shit. 1.00

00:26:46.360 Fuck, what do you do, dude? 1.00

00:26:49.020 Restrictions are different in cold weather climates. 1.00

00:26:53.000 I've never been to Michigan, but I'm going to guess that they're going to be somewhere similar as to, like, Colorado.

00:26:57.700 And I did do Colorado plumbing.

00:26:59.500 Wow. 1.00

00:26:59.880 And all their shit's buried eight feet deep in Colorado. 1.00

00:27:03.040 Oh, all of their septic tanks and everything? 1.00

00:27:04.860 Everything's buried eight feet deep.

00:27:05.720 Water lines, everything goes –

00:27:07.420 That's the rule.

00:27:07.820 Yeah.

00:27:08.220 Eight feet deep is the minimum.

00:27:09.080 To keep it warm enough?

00:27:10.400 Yeah, to keep it from freezing.

00:27:11.520 Wow.

00:27:11.940 Yep.

00:27:13.100 Interesting.

00:27:13.460 Yep.

00:27:14.420 Washington is 24 inches, so two feet deep.

00:27:18.160 I think California is 18 inches.

00:27:21.000 And Louisiana, I think, is just right out the window, basically.

00:27:24.040 Alabama was ground level.

00:27:25.360 Was it?

00:27:25.800 Yep.

00:27:26.500 One inch deep. 1.00

00:27:27.600 Damn, dude. 1.00

00:27:28.720 Just don't let your lawnmower hit it. 1.00

00:27:30.680 Yeah, that's crazy, bro.

00:27:32.280 Dude, that's wild. 0.99

00:27:35.580 And, yeah, because I remember they had, like, a neighbor when I was growing up that they would just – they had, like, a shit line and just went off into the woods. 0.99

00:27:42.540 Yeah. 0.82

00:27:42.680 And then at a certain point, I remember we ran back there.

00:27:45.460 And when you're a kid, you don't know you think it's, like, a little river, like a little lake or something.

00:27:49.560 So gross. 0.99

00:27:49.920 And so, yeah, people are jumping around, skipping rocks off of shit, just, you know, making little boats. 0.99

00:27:56.060 We used to make little school boats and, like, push them out into, like, this, like, kind of duty canal kind of just – I mean, you're a kid. 0.99

00:28:01.940 You sick now?

00:28:04.200 I'm not doing great, but I'm doing – this year, I'm feeling okay.

00:28:08.340 But generally speaking, throughout your whole life, are you a healthy dude?

00:28:13.000 Yeah.

00:28:13.680 Me too.

00:28:14.700 You know why?

00:28:15.600 Why? 1.00

00:28:16.060 Because you played with shit. 1.00

00:28:17.360 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:17.580 And you got dirty every once in a while, and you didn't give a crap about washing your hands every single time you went to the bathroom. 0.94

00:28:23.360 Oh, yeah. 0.92

00:28:23.960 Out here, like, everybody – I saw some woman get a bunch of hand sanitizer and wash her son's neck with it the other day when I was at the bank.

00:28:30.960 That can't be good for him. 1.00

00:28:32.060 What the fuck? 1.00

00:28:33.560 That kid's going to fucking get hit by lightning. 1.00

00:28:36.340 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:37.220 That kid's definitely –

00:28:38.540 That can't be good for you.

00:28:39.740 Yeah.

00:28:40.360 Just letting that alcohol soak into your skin like that?

00:28:43.760 Yeah, and just, like, at a certain point, everything has diminished – what is it called?

00:28:48.700 Diminishing returns.

00:28:49.580 Diminishing returns.

00:28:50.520 Yeah.

00:28:50.840 Everything does.

00:28:51.620 It's like, okay, you want to get so clean and everything, then fine. 0.85

00:28:55.100 You know, something small comes along, a breeze with a little bit of cigarette smoke in it, and now your kid can't fucking see for two years, you know?

00:29:02.660 Like, Carlin said some stuff years ago about, you know, you spend so much time washing this and scrubbing that and making sure you're so clean that when something real does come along, your immune system is not going to be prepared for it.

00:29:15.980 Yeah.

00:29:16.300 And you're going to die. 0.61

00:29:17.400 Yeah, your immune system's at, like, a four-star restaurant or something.

00:29:20.560 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:21.000 And then some little hitchhiker comes in, you can't fucking handle him. 0.99

00:29:23.880 Right. 0.99

00:29:24.280 You got to build it up.

00:29:25.420 You got to do something to kind of strengthen your immune system somehow.

00:29:29.140 Yeah.

00:29:29.480 And go play with some turds every once in a while.

00:29:31.460 Amen, bro.

00:29:32.200 Look, I'd watch people do it.

00:29:34.700 You ain't going to do it yourself, though.

00:29:36.020 Mario made you do it.

00:29:37.460 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:29:38.520 When I was young, they had a kid in my neighborhood who used to make me bury his duty in his yard for him.

00:29:44.420 Or I couldn't play with him.

00:29:45.960 And he was a tough kid, man. 0.98

00:29:47.860 Like, beat the crap out of you? 1.00

00:29:49.760 No, he would shit in his yard, and I had to bury it. 1.00

00:29:53.480 You know? 0.99

00:29:54.200 And I didn't, you know, I didn't.

00:29:56.800 I did it, man.

00:29:57.800 I just did it, man. 0.99

00:29:59.520 I fucking did it, dude. 0.99

00:30:00.740 His mother was a librarian. 1.00

00:30:01.680 I thought she was a nice lady. 1.00

00:30:03.220 And he died, actually.

00:30:04.080 He drove a bass boat into an embankment in the middle of the night. 1.00

00:30:06.600 Damn. 0.99

00:30:07.060 If we can look that up, Mario Rufino. 0.99

00:30:09.680 And R.I.P. as well, man.

00:30:11.340 R.I.P.

00:30:14.040 What's some, I want to know some good tales, man.

00:30:15.840 We got, we have some great video questions that came in for you that we'll get to in a minute.

00:30:18.920 And it, yeah, I want to know a tale from the, I found in Chifuncta right there.

00:30:25.440 There he is, right there.

00:30:27.140 Six-day search, man. 1.00

00:30:28.740 Damn. 1.00

00:30:30.280 Chifuncta. 1.00

00:30:30.800 What city is it?

00:30:31.500 What town is this in?

00:30:32.560 That's Covington, Louisiana.

00:30:34.160 And Chifuncta, how it got its name, it's a famous Indian river.

00:30:38.300 A big Indian threw a big rock in there. 1.00

00:30:41.400 And that's the sound it made when it went in.

00:30:43.520 That sounds about right.

00:30:44.740 It is.

00:30:45.120 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:30:45.600 That's crazy, isn't it? 0.99

00:30:47.060 By the overpass, man, I knew a fucking kid who jumped off that overpass one time and fucking hit a boat when he fucking went in, dude. 0.99

00:30:53.380 Is that where you're originally from? 0.99

00:30:54.740 Yeah.

00:30:55.080 All right.

00:30:57.220 Yeah, man.

00:30:58.040 Well, then you know the south.

00:30:58.900 We all prayed and we just knew God was going to let his body surface so we could take him out and give him a proper burial.

00:31:03.880 And get proper closure.

00:31:11.240 Man.

00:31:12.480 Mario Rufino traveling upstream at high speed just after midnight.

00:31:16.140 That'll do it.

00:31:17.120 Man, what's he doing driving a boat in the dark?

00:31:19.160 Smashed into the overpass.

00:31:21.260 Had he been drinking?

00:31:23.620 I bet he had.

00:31:24.680 It says Rufino was last seen at a bar right there.

00:31:29.700 May have had a beer or two.

00:31:31.320 That's what they put in there. 0.99

00:31:32.440 But, man, I'll tell you, that boy lived at top speed from the moment I ever fucking met him, bro. 0.97

00:31:37.460 It was like the whole world was at, I mean, he was just at high speed, that kid. 0.92

00:31:42.080 You know, if you were to ask him right now, he probably ain't got no complaints then.

00:31:45.600 Oh, man, he, that guy, yeah, yeah, he didn't, I mean, I guess I was, he didn't believe in plumbing. 0.86

00:31:55.640 I fucking remember that. 0.98

00:31:57.460 Just piss outside. 1.00

00:31:59.580 You know, dude, I got this fucking, yeah. 0.99

00:32:02.780 We're going to save a lot of money. 1.00

00:32:04.700 Mom and dad, I'm going to have some kid bury our poop. 1.00

00:32:08.040 Oh, that's right. 0.75

00:32:10.020 I didn't believe in plumbing.

00:32:11.300 What's some wild stories that happened out there, man?

00:32:13.560 Oh, man, wild?

00:32:15.020 Like.

00:32:15.460 Or tell me something. 0.98

00:32:16.540 Gross, crazy. 0.89

00:32:17.740 You know, I got them all. 1.00

00:32:19.320 Chicks trying to have sex to pay off their bill. 1.00

00:32:21.700 Is that true? 0.99

00:32:22.500 Oh, yeah, that happens.

00:32:23.660 I never did.

00:32:24.520 Because you're a handsome guy. 0.92

00:32:25.480 I'm sure you go in there and there's the opportunity for sex every now and then. 0.88

00:32:29.220 It's happened.

00:32:30.540 You know, I had a lady in Seattle. 1.00

00:32:32.120 She's good looking.

00:32:33.300 She, you know, she, it took forever for her to come to the door. 0.58

00:32:36.460 I still remember it because she was trying so hard.

00:32:39.040 I mean.

00:32:39.660 Right.

00:32:40.000 You can tell when somebody's coming on to you, right?

00:32:41.540 Yeah.

00:32:41.720 You know, I'm blind and all, but.

00:32:43.460 Yeah.

00:32:44.240 I mean, I'm a dude.

00:32:45.720 We miss most of those signs all the time.

00:32:47.760 A lot of times you miss them.

00:32:48.700 But so if you don't miss them, if a regular dude doesn't miss them, it must really be

00:32:52.300 coming strong.

00:32:53.020 That's what I realized.

00:32:53.700 Dude, this chick answered the door in a very thin white t-shirt. 1.00

00:32:58.040 Okay.

00:32:58.720 And that's it.

00:32:59.760 Wow.

00:33:00.320 And that t-shirt was just long enough.

00:33:02.960 Oh, yeah.

00:33:03.620 Right?

00:33:04.180 And then her stuff was upstairs.

00:33:05.860 So I'll show you, you know, follow me. 1.00

00:33:08.800 So I followed her up the stairs, staring at her ass the whole way up so I could plunge 1.00

00:33:13.360 her toilet in 30 seconds and fix it. 1.00

00:33:16.080 And then she has me sit there for like 20 minutes, I bet, while she sings karaoke to me 0.99

00:33:22.640 on her little private karaoke machine.

00:33:24.540 No way.

00:33:25.660 Still in this little t-shirt.

00:33:27.380 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:33:27.840 With great big titties. 1.00

00:33:29.800 Damn. 1.00

00:33:30.280 That you can see every bit of. 0.99

00:33:32.220 She didn't even need to be wearing the t-shirt. 0.98

00:33:34.120 Both of the tits, you could see them? 1.00

00:33:35.420 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:33:36.160 I mean, the shirt is so thin, you can see right through.

00:33:39.640 Oh, yeah.

00:33:39.960 So, but the point was, I knocked on the door and I got there and I got no answer.

00:33:44.960 And I knocked again, I knocked again.

00:33:46.400 It took her like five minutes to come to the door.

00:33:48.660 And were you getting scared?

00:33:49.700 What do you think she was doing? 0.97

00:33:50.880 I was thinking she wasn't there.

00:33:52.160 I heard her at first, when she first came up, I heard her come to the door.

00:33:55.120 She looked through the peephole.

00:33:56.700 She saw I was an old fat dude, probably, you know, because you don't know what plumber 0.63

00:34:00.800 is showing up to your house.

00:34:01.920 That's true, huh?

00:34:03.200 So, and then it was, I kept knocking.

00:34:05.080 I'm like, so I called dispatch because at the time.

00:34:08.220 Was this Roto?

00:34:08.860 You were going to Roto?

00:34:09.360 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:10.360 At the time, this was before cell phones.

00:34:11.980 So all we had was Nextel.

00:34:13.240 Oh, yeah.

00:34:13.660 So, beep, beep. 0.78

00:34:15.080 Yeah.

00:34:15.480 You know, hey, can you call this customer that I'm here at her house and I've knocked.

00:34:19.360 I hear that she's in there.

00:34:20.640 She ain't answering.

00:34:21.540 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:34:22.220 So they call him.

00:34:23.120 Oh, okay.

00:34:23.460 She's coming to the door.

00:34:24.460 I'm like, cool.

00:34:24.960 Thank you.

00:34:25.660 And she answers the door like that. 0.99

00:34:27.060 I'm like, now I know what the fuck she was doing. 1.00

00:34:29.120 She went and got all ready and put her makeup on and whatever else. 0.99

00:34:32.260 Was she wearing sunglasses or anything?

00:34:33.840 Nope, nope, nope, nope.

00:34:34.960 She was slightly a little bit on the heavyset side, but, you know, good looking.

00:34:39.560 Yeah, and it's afternoon.

00:34:40.360 Is it morning?

00:34:41.040 It was morning, probably 10, 11 o'clock in the morning, you know?

00:34:43.460 Who cares what anybody's body's like in the morning, you know?

00:34:45.700 Right. 0.98

00:34:46.600 South African white chick. 0.87

00:34:48.240 So that'll kind of.

00:34:49.380 She had an accent.

00:34:50.100 Oh, yeah.

00:34:52.060 You know, but still, you know, I'm on the job.

00:34:55.860 Right.

00:34:56.040 You're professional.

00:34:56.700 Are you wearing a uniform?

00:34:57.660 Oh, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:34:58.680 And at the time I was single and still, you don't shit where you eat, no matter what. 1.00

00:35:03.240 You don't fuck where you clean shit. 1.00

00:35:06.820 There you go. 1.00

00:35:07.740 Or you don't fuck where you clean shit, because that's true, too. 1.00

00:35:11.400 But I don't know. 1.00

00:35:13.020 Something got instilled in me years ago.

00:35:15.080 Don't ever have anything to do with anything with work like that.

00:35:18.840 Right.

00:35:19.120 You know what I mean?

00:35:19.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:21.040 Don't fuck your clients. 1.00

00:35:22.640 It's going to. 1.00

00:35:22.960 Yeah.

00:35:23.280 Yeah.

00:35:24.000 And it's still a bad thing, man.

00:35:25.300 Once you put sex into any work equation, it all becomes uncomfortable.

00:35:28.660 That's why me and Nick.

00:35:29.580 Is that why you guys don't get along?

00:35:32.460 That's why we go to separate rooms and touch ourselves.

00:35:35.420 No, we've never done anything like that, man.

00:35:37.180 And we never will, Nick.

00:35:38.260 And that's why it's working so well.

00:35:39.480 Yeah.

00:35:39.740 That's why it's working so well, dude.

00:35:41.740 Look, I promise you, the second me and him have any sexual interaction.

00:35:46.280 It's over.

00:35:47.220 It is over, bro.

00:35:50.180 It is over, and I think you would agree to that.

00:35:52.020 Yeah.

00:35:52.680 So I moved to Washington.

00:35:54.520 No, so the lady, you're there.

00:35:55.760 You're in the place.

00:35:56.700 Oh, that was it.

00:35:57.920 But I hate, you know, it's such a, it could have been so.

00:36:02.140 Karaoke music, though.

00:36:03.140 That's what I mean.

00:36:03.720 What karaoke music was she singing? 0.97

00:36:04.680 Oh, she's singing like love songs and stuff and trying to like sell me her voice, basically.

00:36:09.660 And, you know.

00:36:10.380 Why?

00:36:10.640 Was she saying that she used to do music?

00:36:12.340 She considered music?

00:36:12.860 And she was totally into music.

00:36:14.600 And she wanted me to hear her sing.

00:36:16.380 She was trying to get me to nail her on the couch right there. 1.00

00:36:19.300 Wow.

00:36:20.100 And where was the karaoke machine?

00:36:22.920 This was after Unstopping the Toilet.

00:36:24.440 I had gone back downstairs to write the invoice.

00:36:26.280 I'm sitting on the couch.

00:36:27.980 She's next to me on the couch.

00:36:29.500 Oh, yeah.

00:36:29.900 I got, I've given her the invoice.

00:36:31.320 She's got the checkbook.

00:36:32.400 And instead of writing me the check so I can go to my next job, she spends all this time

00:36:36.580 singing, trying to seduce me, basically.

00:36:39.940 Yeah.

00:36:40.160 And I'm trying to be nice.

00:36:41.360 I'm trying to be cordial.

00:36:42.780 I'm not trying.

00:36:43.500 And look, lady. 0.98

00:36:44.200 What song, though?

00:36:44.600 What song?

00:36:45.080 I can't.

00:36:45.680 Yeah.

00:36:45.860 20 years, man.

00:36:46.780 This is literally 20 years ago, I bet.

00:36:49.460 15 years ago.

00:36:50.640 I just can't remember.

00:36:51.980 Was it rap music?

00:36:52.960 No, no, no.

00:36:53.520 I want to say it was like slow, like.

00:36:56.640 Put your head on.

00:36:57.960 Yeah.

00:36:58.520 Something, you know, something softer than that, probably.

00:37:02.060 Oh, wow.

00:37:02.740 Yeah.

00:37:03.340 Sexual healing.

00:37:05.100 Marvin Gaye.

00:37:05.680 I think you got it.

00:37:07.380 Wow.

00:37:07.940 She was pulling out all the stops to try. 0.99

00:37:11.160 I had another lady in the same town grab my junk and come in and grab me and kiss me. 1.00

00:37:17.840 And I had to literally, I was married at that time, so I, you know, you said, hey, well, 0.99

00:37:22.220 even if I wasn't.

00:37:23.100 Right.

00:37:23.220 Get off me, pay me my money, let me go. 0.94

00:37:24.960 Right.

00:37:25.100 Let me go.

00:37:26.140 Mostly, I'd be so scared, you know, we're in an age of lawsuits.

00:37:33.460 Yeah.

00:37:33.700 Now we definitely are, though.

00:37:34.900 But 15 years ago, people might.

00:37:36.420 I think we still were.

00:37:37.340 And what if it don't work out?

00:37:38.580 Say this girl kisses me and I throw her on the floor and just ravage her and we have a 1.00

00:37:43.200 great time. 0.99

00:37:43.820 Yeah. 0.99

00:37:44.040 And then I don't call her back and now she calls my company and says, he raped me on the 0.99

00:37:49.340 floor or whatever. 0.99

00:37:51.220 Right.

00:37:51.300 You know, don't even go down that road.

00:37:53.280 Don't even cross that bridge.

00:37:54.780 So, yeah.

00:37:55.280 I mean, in hindsight, do you ever fantasize about having, having had a romantic instance

00:37:59.580 though about, you know.

00:38:00.960 Obviously, the South African one kind of stands out.

00:38:03.540 If I could have gone back now being single, I, you know, I probably could have taken a run

00:38:07.600 at that and had a good time.

00:38:08.820 Yeah.

00:38:09.080 And all would have been fine.

00:38:10.180 But hey, mate.

00:38:11.180 Yeah.

00:38:11.760 I don't think they say that.

00:38:12.920 So, yeah, that's true. 0.99

00:38:14.540 Actually, man, I think I need a fucking plumber in my head. 0.94

00:38:21.380 What, uh, what's one of the wildest? 0.99

00:38:23.180 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:23.280 We got to ask like how much shit is out there really? 1.00

00:38:26.160 And how much shit is, is, is the middle of the earth just filling up with shit all the 1.00

00:38:30.460 time? 1.00

00:38:30.840 Like I say, it all gets processed, cleaned and then jumped back into the ocean.

00:38:34.060 And, but the septic box, that thing.

00:38:36.580 That, the septic box is even more environmentally friendly.

00:38:43.660 Wow.

00:38:44.280 Uh, better for everything.

00:38:46.120 It, it contains, it decomposes, it leaches clean water out into your yard.

00:38:52.100 And that's why you see those green lines in a lot of people's grass.

00:38:55.480 Cause that's where the septic tank leach field is. 0.98

00:38:57.820 Okay.

00:38:58.140 And it makes the grass a little bit greener in those areas.

00:39:00.340 Oh, interesting.

00:39:01.160 Yeah.

00:39:01.700 But.

00:39:02.800 And does it sift the sludge or just a sludge builds up?

00:39:05.260 Cause really in the end it's very little solids, right?

00:39:08.360 Right.

00:39:09.120 Uh, a, a, a perfectly working septic tank.

00:39:11.940 If it is working, it has active live bacteria in it that are constantly breaking down the

00:39:16.380 solid material.

00:39:17.160 Okay.

00:39:17.420 Separating the solids from liquids.

00:39:19.400 Um, they sell this product called Ridex, but you can use buttermilk.

00:39:23.280 You can use cultured, uh, cultured buttermilk or cultured yeast.

00:39:26.920 I mean, uh, all these things work to promote the bacterial growth of your septic tank.

00:39:32.140 Oh, interesting.

00:39:33.320 Bleach and other chemicals tend to kill the active bacteria that are doing the job.

00:39:40.100 So you don't want that.

00:39:40.960 So you want those cultures.

00:39:42.040 You want to create, yeah.

00:39:42.880 You want to have like a little ecosystem going on.

00:39:44.960 Live bacteria.

00:39:45.840 They're doing the job.

00:39:46.700 Wow.

00:39:46.860 My grandma and grandpa were, I mean, they had people coming over to their house, but

00:39:50.780 they lived in the same house for like 25 years.

00:39:53.180 And when the guy came, cause, uh, the law says when you sell a house, it has to, you

00:39:57.040 have to have the septic tank pumped no matter what.

00:39:59.240 Oh, wow.

00:39:59.680 So that's when you start over.

00:40:01.100 Yeah.

00:40:01.600 So when the guy came to pump their septic tank after it had been buried for 25 years,

00:40:05.960 he said, it looks like brand new.

00:40:07.240 Wow.

00:40:07.620 This didn't need to be done.

00:40:08.800 This tank is working properly.

00:40:10.780 Dang.

00:40:11.100 And if they are working properly, it's a beautiful, a true working septic tank will never have

00:40:15.500 to be pumped.

00:40:15.940 Dang.

00:40:16.900 Yep.

00:40:18.120 Huh.

00:40:18.540 That's amazing.

00:40:19.400 Yeah.

00:40:19.800 Yeah.

00:40:20.000 It's a, it's a completely self-contained system.

00:40:22.160 If you do the right things to, you know, you can't just ignore it and let it build up.

00:40:27.660 You've got to treat it.

00:40:28.480 You've got to take care of it.

00:40:29.260 You can't put the wrong things in it.

00:40:30.540 Now, have you ever had to go looking for something that someone flushed that they needed

00:40:34.300 back?

00:40:35.100 Like a tooth or like a wedding ring?

00:40:36.920 $20,000 diamond ring.

00:40:38.540 Really?

00:40:38.960 At midnight.

00:40:40.380 Yep.

00:40:40.700 And were they on drugs or something?

00:40:42.200 No, no, no.

00:40:42.600 It was a lady at an apartment. 1.00

00:40:43.620 She was the manager of an apartment complex. 0.99

00:40:45.380 It was years ago.

00:40:46.420 This was in Alabama.

00:40:47.400 The boss calls me and says, Hey man, this, this lady. 1.00

00:40:49.860 And we know this, but it's one of our clients, you know, they got 1500 apartments in there.

00:40:53.900 We're going there all the time.

00:40:54.740 Hey, she dropped her wedding ring down the toilet at the office. 0.92

00:40:57.800 Can you go get it?

00:40:58.960 So I get there and she's just bawling, crying. 0.90

00:41:02.200 Do you hug her?

00:41:03.100 What do you do?

00:41:03.560 Just go in?

00:41:03.960 You don't hug.

00:41:04.400 No.

00:41:05.180 Yeah.

00:41:05.740 I'm a plumber, man.

00:41:06.640 Nobody wants to touch me anyway.

00:41:08.040 And I got a Roto-Rooter.

00:41:09.240 Probably got turds somewhere on me. 1.00

00:41:11.080 Yeah.

00:41:11.500 That's awesome, bro.

00:41:13.140 So I go in the bathroom and I take the toilet off the floor and I give it a shake and I can

00:41:18.820 hear it's in there.

00:41:19.700 Oh, that's good news, man.

00:41:21.060 Cause if it makes it down the pipe, I got to send the camera down there and I got to basically

00:41:24.660 really slowly with the camera until I find it.

00:41:27.360 And then I got to chase something down like a snake with a hook on it to try and get it

00:41:31.780 out.

00:41:32.140 And how, that's like an endoscopy almost.

00:41:33.960 How much does that cost?

00:41:35.180 How much is that upcharge with you when you get that cam out?

00:41:39.360 It varies by area.

00:41:41.200 Obviously in this area, I think a camera is around $500.

00:41:44.880 Yeah.

00:41:45.200 I can see that.

00:41:45.740 So back in the day, this was like I say, 15 years ago, I want to say we would probably

00:41:50.620 charge her around $200 to do that. 0.88

00:41:52.700 Fortunately, I found it in the toilet.

00:41:54.300 So, so I didn't have to go that route.

00:41:55.940 I had the camera in the truck, but no need busting it out.

00:41:58.520 Nice.

00:41:58.920 So I go to shake it and I'm like, it's in there.

00:42:01.080 So you, you shake the toilet.

00:42:02.200 You can hear the pipe.

00:42:02.900 You can hear it rattling.

00:42:03.600 I can hear the, the, the ring rattling around inside.

00:42:06.640 So I shake it.

00:42:07.140 What a neat way to think about it instead of just looking.

00:42:08.960 Yeah.

00:42:09.280 Listen first.

00:42:10.180 It fell out.

00:42:11.120 I got it.

00:42:11.940 I put it on my finger, on my pinky finger.

00:42:13.860 I put the toilet back together and I go back into the office cause it's midnight.

00:42:17.180 She's still waiting for me.

00:42:18.060 I'm like, I couldn't find it.

00:42:19.740 Oh no.

00:42:22.420 No, no, no.

00:42:23.080 I'm kidding.

00:42:23.700 Here it is.

00:42:24.360 Here it is.

00:42:24.960 Yeah.

00:42:25.660 Did you get down on one knee?

00:42:26.980 No.

00:42:27.460 Oh man.

00:42:28.300 Here you go.

00:42:29.360 Uh, she gave me a hundred dollar tip. 0.56

00:42:30.760 Oh, that's nice.

00:42:31.500 Yeah.

00:42:32.160 For a, cause it was an overtime, like midnight thing.

00:42:35.880 Mm-hmm.

00:42:36.440 I think the bill was probably like 85 bucks.

00:42:38.560 Right.

00:42:38.920 15 years ago in Alabama.

00:42:40.320 Yeah.

00:42:40.580 Here, that same midnight charge would probably be four or five hundred.

00:42:45.180 Wow.

00:42:45.660 Yeah.

00:42:46.200 From, from a commercial company for me to come and do it.

00:42:48.720 I don't care about overtime or late night or whatever.

00:42:51.060 It's all the same.

00:42:52.040 Is there anything you notice about people like just in different areas going into different

00:42:56.180 areas over time?

00:42:57.260 Like, do you notice any difference in like people in different environments or anything

00:43:02.980 like that?

00:43:03.640 Yeah, man.

00:43:04.340 Yeah.

00:43:04.840 California is tough.

00:43:06.280 Yeah.

00:43:06.420 It, it's, I hate using the word liberal cause I don't really like that word, but.

00:43:13.120 Well, it's very liberal out here.

00:43:14.500 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:15.020 It's, it's very, people out here are pussies. 1.00

00:43:18.680 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:43:19.520 I mean, I don't know how else to say it. 0.91

00:43:21.180 There's a lot of labia out here, as I like to say it, dude. 0.94

00:43:25.800 Yeah, yeah.

00:43:26.060 A lot of freelance.

00:43:28.460 The vaginization of California has taken place.

00:43:32.100 It's got soft.

00:43:32.440 Yeah.

00:43:33.120 So soft, man.

00:43:33.940 And that's what makes it tough being here too.

00:43:36.100 But then there's also beautiful side to it too, because, you know, the weather is so

00:43:42.120 nice.

00:43:42.400 There's so many great people that come here to chase their dreams, to do things like 0.99

00:43:46.680 there's, there's so many types of people, like it's tough, but yeah, it gets, this shit 0.99

00:43:52.100 gets you soft out. 0.99

00:43:53.500 It's tough, but it's also the best, you know, it's, it's the best, it's the best and the

00:43:58.500 worst.

00:43:58.780 You got to take the bad with the good.

00:44:00.140 But yeah, there's, there's that soft side of a lot of people, but also there's, there's,

00:44:06.260 there's tons of good people.

00:44:08.000 Yeah.

00:44:08.080 And if you hook up and you meet with the right ones, then, then you can kind of get set here.

00:44:11.800 So, yeah.

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00:46:08.540 Oh, sorry, just shaving my junk. 0.97

00:46:12.980 Trying to get that little Christmas tree above my ween, because it's holiday time. 0.97

00:46:18.020 That's right, I'm trying to shave a little bit of a plant right up above my janson, you know, a little bit of a gristle toe.

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00:48:13.480 Clean up your nuts and make Santa proud this year.

00:48:17.460 When I was young, the plumbers came because my mom had been flushing coffee grounds on the garbage disposal and the little paper thing that was in the coffee pot.

00:48:28.700 Oh, no.

00:48:29.140 She'd been, like, putting that in there just in the morning because it was easy.

00:48:31.640 She was on the go.

00:48:32.480 Yeah.

00:48:32.640 And she was, like, do not tell the plumbers that I've been doing that or we're going to have to pay and the building won't have to pay.

00:48:42.160 Right. 0.94

00:48:42.320 And right when the plumbers came in, bro, I was such a rat, dude.

00:48:47.280 I was, like, my mom has been flushing coffee grounds and the paper things down the garbage disposal.

00:48:55.860 They would have found it anyway. 1.00

00:48:56.820 Fuck, man, I never even told anybody that until just now, man, but I feel so bad if I could throw my mom right under the bus, bro. 1.00

00:49:04.680 Did she have to pay? 1.00

00:49:06.160 I don't think she did, man.

00:49:07.600 I think the plumbers knew that, like, she was a single mom and stuff and were like, ah, well, you know.

00:49:12.520 I've done that before, actually, where, you know, so you go to an apartment complex or you go to a rental, you know, a lot of rentals I'd go to, where the owner would say, hey, if the customer put something in there that they weren't supposed to, I ain't paying.

00:49:25.020 Right.

00:49:25.200 Like tampons or, you know, paper towels is a big one.

00:49:29.220 We get a lot of paper towels out of drains, baby wipes.

00:49:31.880 Oh, yeah, baby wipes seem impossible to flush.

00:49:34.220 They don't break down.

00:49:35.120 Yeah.

00:49:35.420 So if they get down there and they get caught on something, they're just going to pack up and other stuff's going to pack up on them.

00:49:40.360 Here's a couple of good tips.

00:49:42.240 You know, for years they would say coffee grounds is okay in the garbage disposal.

00:49:45.900 Eggshells is supposed to be good for it. 0.99

00:49:47.500 No.

00:49:48.400 Don't ever put pasta.

00:49:50.180 Don't ever put rice.

00:49:51.720 Don't do eggshells.

00:49:52.940 Don't do coffee grounds.

00:49:53.960 Those are not good for your garbage disposal. 0.70

00:49:56.700 They go in the trash or in the compost.

00:49:58.620 Your garbage disposal is for the tiniest little bits or whatever's left on your plate is what your garbage disposal was originally designed to do.

00:50:07.800 Chunk that stuff up, mix it with some water, and send it down.

00:50:10.760 What about fat?

00:50:11.720 Like if you're cutting the fat off of a chicken, like you're getting some chicken pieces?

00:50:15.320 I mean, if you've got one or two, get it in there.

00:50:17.480 But don't carve a whole chicken and throw all the extra stuff in your garbage disposal.

00:50:22.500 That's not going to be good for it.

00:50:23.480 You're going to call a plumber.

00:50:24.560 What about bones?

00:50:25.860 No.

00:50:26.380 Okay.

00:50:27.740 No bones.

00:50:29.020 One lady called me because she stopped up her garbage disposal with a whole steak. 1.00

00:50:36.440 She called.

00:50:37.200 That was cute.

00:50:37.800 Her son was going to come over for dinner.

00:50:39.260 He called.

00:50:39.720 He said he couldn't make it.

00:50:40.560 She got pissed off, and she threw the steak down the garbage disposal, and it didn't make it.

00:50:44.160 Oh, and she hadn't cooked it.

00:50:45.620 No, it was raw.

00:50:47.020 So, yeah, that uncooked meat won't go down, really, huh?

00:50:49.980 No.

00:50:50.640 Well, I mean, it'll chunk up, but once it gets through there, it's just going to pack up.

00:50:53.940 Right, because it's that weird consistency at that point.

00:50:56.420 So, garbage disposals come in different power.

00:51:00.620 You know, some of them were really strong.

00:51:02.100 I went to this frat house in Auburn, Alabama.

00:51:04.840 Tons of frat dudes, and they needed a new garbage disposal. 1.00

00:51:07.420 Their old one had taken a crap or whatever. 0.99

00:51:09.820 War Eagle. 0.98

00:51:10.440 Yeah, War Eagle. 0.99

00:51:12.040 War Damn Eagle. 0.98

00:51:13.780 Yeah, my bad. 0.98

00:51:14.860 Yeah, you're right.

00:51:16.280 So, I get them this one-horsepower garbage disposal, and I put it in, and the head of the frat house is there, and he's like, is this a good garbage disposal?

00:51:25.020 Is it strong?

00:51:25.800 And I'm like, they actually advertise this garbage disposal will chew up a beer bottle. 1.00

00:51:30.980 Damn. 0.99

00:51:32.300 And he's like, word. 1.00

00:51:33.920 I'm like, yup.

00:51:37.460 And he's like, that's awesome.

00:51:39.160 I'm like, okay, cool.

00:51:40.560 Bye.

00:51:41.220 Give me my money.

00:51:42.180 And I left.

00:51:42.880 Like a week later, I had to go back to that same fraternity house, because all the pipes

00:51:49.420 underneath the garbage disposal and the whole main pipe underneath the house was packed full

00:51:55.520 of broken glass.

00:51:56.540 That's amazing, bro.

00:51:57.900 Because they had a party that weekend, and dudes were going, watch this, and just dropping

00:52:02.800 beer bottle after beer bottle down the sink.

00:52:05.220 Have you ever seen a gas-powered garbage disposal?

00:52:12.960 No.

00:52:14.060 That'd be pretty cool, though.

00:52:15.340 It'd be pretty cool, huh?

00:52:16.200 I think that thing would work.

00:52:17.540 I wouldn't want to connect it to my sewer system, though, because that's just going to send too

00:52:22.340 much nastiness down there, you know?

00:52:24.200 Now, if you run out of drain oil and stuff, can you pour gasoline down your drain?

00:52:27.180 Don't pour drain oil down your drain.

00:52:28.900 Really?

00:52:29.580 No, man.

00:52:30.300 That stuff's bad.

00:52:31.540 Is it?

00:52:32.460 Yeah.

00:52:32.780 I guess, honestly, dude, sometimes I'm not even feeling good about myself as a person.

00:52:36.240 I'll go get a couple things of drain oil and pour it in all the drains in my place.

00:52:39.640 Why?

00:52:40.420 I think it just makes me feel like something's being done, even though I'm not feeling good.

00:52:44.340 Do you own the house?

00:52:45.520 No, it's an apartment. 1.00

00:52:46.040 Then fuck it. 1.00

00:52:46.680 They're your pipes. 1.00

00:52:50.940 Yeah, but I just like, I don't know, something about it's like, oh, man, I can't unclog my

00:52:55.300 own life, but I'm going to do my best on these drains right now, you know?

00:52:58.020 I think it's kind of a, anyway.

00:53:01.060 It's anything with hydrochloric or sulfuric acid, pipes are not designed to handle that.

00:53:06.320 Wow.

00:53:06.740 It might eat through the clog, but whether it does or not, there's going to be some residual

00:53:11.780 acid left in your pipes.

00:53:14.020 I have grabbed pipes, solid cast iron pipes that people had used Drano on, and I can crush

00:53:20.240 them with my hand because they're so brittle.

00:53:22.960 Or plastic pipes that just have the whole bottom channel where the water runs, gone, just

00:53:28.880 melted away.

00:53:30.320 Yeah, that's what we had growing up.

00:53:31.340 It would be plastic piping right through some plywood, right through a hole in a piece of

00:53:35.440 plywood or something.

00:53:36.340 You think getting a drain is unstopped, or you think getting a drain unstopped is expensive?

00:53:41.220 Try replacing a pipe.

00:53:42.340 Yeah, that's when it gets pricey.

00:53:44.560 Right.

00:53:44.840 So you want to spend $20 on some Drano to try and save yourself $100 or $200 on a plumber

00:53:50.040 on stopping your drain?

00:53:51.840 That Drano might cost you thousands in the pipe repair that comes down the road, or the

00:53:56.380 damage that the water leak will cause, because you're not going to notice it right away.

00:54:00.420 It's going to do some wood damage first, and some mold and rot. 1.00

00:54:04.500 Fuck, that's crazy, bro. 0.99

00:54:05.560 I can't even... 1.00

00:54:06.580 Yeah, because I guess I'll stop getting it.

00:54:08.640 And some of them might get the expensive one, the little gold bottle or whatever.

00:54:11.740 There's better tricks.

00:54:13.000 Boiling water works really well.

00:54:14.380 Really?

00:54:14.880 Yeah.

00:54:15.660 Boiling water with a little bit of vinegar in it keeps your drain smelling good, and it

00:54:19.940 keeps them running clean.

00:54:21.160 Dude, what's crazy is in the morning when I get up, I get some warm water and put some

00:54:25.960 vinegar in it.

00:54:27.420 There you go.

00:54:28.620 See, I mean, you're already right there.

00:54:30.340 I drink it for myself.

00:54:31.160 Oh, and drink it, really?

00:54:32.900 Yeah, it's like a popular thing.

00:54:34.780 Will you look that up, do you mind, Nick?

00:54:36.020 How's that work?

00:54:36.900 It works good.

00:54:37.800 I feel like it makes me feel...

00:54:39.340 It makes me feel like kind of... 0.93

00:54:43.400 I don't want to say fresh, bro, because that's kind of a bitch word to use, but it makes me 0.91

00:54:47.300 feel kind of like... 0.98

00:54:48.840 So you're a massive gill-in from this side.

00:54:50.880 Yeah, I'm massive gill-in from the top, bro.

00:54:52.460 All right. 1.00

00:54:52.800 That's that fucking Manson gill. 0.99

00:54:54.340 What's coming up a lot is apple cider vinegar. 0.99

00:54:56.740 Yeah, yeah, that's the one I use.

00:54:57.900 All right, all right.

00:54:58.100 Yeah, sorry, not straight up dye your hair vinegar.

00:55:00.940 Oh, my girl was doing that for a little while. 1.00

00:55:02.800 Yeah.

00:55:03.120 You know, that and something else.

00:55:05.300 She said it didn't taste very good, but it was supposed to be pretty good for your health.

00:55:08.940 It does not taste good.

00:55:10.100 Yeah, yeah.

00:55:10.620 It does not taste good.

00:55:11.680 I just read on there, though, that it relieves nighttime leg cramps, which is...

00:55:16.460 Because it has...

00:55:17.680 That's a warm water.

00:55:19.440 Potassium.

00:55:19.920 Oh, and honey. 0.99

00:55:21.320 Damn, I fucking want some right now, dude, because I got on these compression socks because 0.99

00:55:26.220 my legs hurt. 0.99

00:55:28.100 What is the most complicated septic system that exists out there, or the most complicated

00:55:35.220 one that you've ever come upon?

00:55:40.620 Hmm.

00:55:43.260 They don't...

00:55:44.160 They are not complicated.

00:55:45.460 They're not.

00:55:45.880 No.

00:55:46.360 It's hard to find one like that.

00:55:48.300 There are...

00:55:49.300 Usually, the most complicated thing I run into is when people try and they don't know what

00:55:55.240 they're doing, day before yesterday, for example, I went to a house where the guy called me and

00:56:01.700 said, this is going to be a big thing, but do what you can.

00:56:05.580 And I go in there and the plumber couldn't...

00:56:08.360 He wasn't a plumber.

00:56:09.040 The guy couldn't put the toilet pipe in the center of the space where the toilet goes.

00:56:17.280 So, he didn't.

00:56:19.340 And he installed it over in the corner and he put the toilet on like a diagonal coming

00:56:24.520 out funny and it didn't sit right.

00:56:26.260 It didn't look right.

00:56:27.740 It was not proper.

00:56:29.060 Not only that, but he didn't use the right material.

00:56:31.120 So, the toilet wasn't even stuck to the floor.

00:56:34.340 It was just kind of...

00:56:35.960 Oh, yeah.

00:56:36.460 Non-functional.

00:56:38.180 Yeah.

00:56:38.560 It feels risky.

00:56:39.920 Yeah.

00:56:40.540 And as soon as I start moving things and I get in there, I'm like, had this not have

00:56:46.220 taken place in the first place, it would have been so much easier for me to fix.

00:56:50.620 But that I have to undo the problems of somebody else and then recreate from, you know, basically,

00:56:59.920 I got to undo all this before I can go back to the beginning.

00:57:02.860 So, when it gets complicated is when somebody tackles a project they probably shouldn't have.

00:57:08.700 Yeah.

00:57:08.920 They should have just called a plumber in the first place.

00:57:10.400 Right.

00:57:10.600 So, yeah. 1.00

00:57:10.960 Instead, if you get brave ideas to just kind of Lewis and Clark your fucking shit future, 0.99

00:57:15.620 change it up and hire somebody that knows what they're doing. 1.00

00:57:17.800 Yeah.

00:57:18.320 It's worth the money.

00:57:19.080 I mean, some of these companies, you know, I can't be everywhere, so you're not going

00:57:22.740 to get me.

00:57:23.620 And some of these companies are not very cheap, but it is worth the money.

00:57:27.620 These guys have learned a lot over their however many years it took to be a professional

00:57:33.580 plumber.

00:57:35.160 What's your company, Brad?

00:57:36.660 It's called Toilet Champion.

00:57:38.280 Oh, really?

00:57:39.280 Yeah.

00:57:39.960 Hell yeah.

00:57:41.500 You like it?

00:57:42.540 Bro, it's crazy because in my mind, I'm like, this guy is a toilet champion.

00:57:46.340 Yeah.

00:57:47.120 I won a contest.

00:57:48.280 You did?

00:57:49.080 Yeah.

00:57:49.460 It was putting a toilet together.

00:57:51.560 It was a plumbing supply store in Washington was having this contest.

00:57:56.300 They had a shitload.

00:57:58.240 Ha ha. 0.60

00:57:59.960 Shitloads of toilets in the box.

00:58:01.860 Like everything is in the box that you need to put this toilet together. 0.99

00:58:04.820 Oh, wow.

00:58:05.480 And the contest, they had a barbecue and everything.

00:58:08.360 And they had like vendors there that were selling tools and stuff like that.

00:58:11.340 And this was the contest.

00:58:12.880 Whoever puts the toilet together in the fastest amount of time, you get like a trophy, you

00:58:18.060 get a hundred bucks.

00:58:18.920 And there was something else involved in it.

00:58:21.440 And I did it in a minute and fifty four. 0.99

00:58:23.140 Damn. 0.99

00:58:23.980 Out of the box, fully assembled, no leaks. 1.00

00:58:25.980 So I get this little trophy with a dude holding a toilet up over his head, you know?

00:58:30.300 That's great.

00:58:30.840 I'm like, I'm the toilet champion.

00:58:32.640 Dude, that's awesome.

00:58:33.480 It's been the name of my business ever since.

00:58:35.080 Dude, that's beautiful.

00:58:35.840 And toilet champion is based where?

00:58:37.180 It's here in Los Angeles?

00:58:38.640 Yeah.

00:58:38.880 Or a specific area of Los Angeles?

00:58:40.920 I tend not to come into L.A. too much.

00:58:43.220 I kind of stick more toward the valley and Thousand Oaks see me.

00:58:47.060 But I mean, I'll move around where, you know, dude, I went to Cambria a couple of weeks ago

00:58:51.720 and re-piped a whole house. 0.99

00:58:53.040 Damn. 0.99

00:58:53.260 That's four hours away. 1.00

00:58:54.520 Wow.

00:58:55.480 So you'll do some adventures.

00:58:56.620 You'll do some stuff.

00:58:57.540 Sure.

00:58:58.840 The toilet champion, bro.

00:59:00.900 Toiletchampion.com, man.

00:59:02.080 It's its own website and stuff.

00:59:03.260 I love it.

00:59:03.760 We got a question right here from a guy who has a beard.

00:59:05.840 Now, can you cut your hair and flush it down the pipe?

00:59:08.460 Yeah.

00:59:09.100 You can?

00:59:09.660 Yeah.

00:59:10.120 Oh, wow.

00:59:10.700 Yeah, that's all right.

00:59:11.440 Don't do it in like large quantities at once.

00:59:13.460 But I mean, little bits.

00:59:14.440 It'll go through.

00:59:14.880 It'll go through.

00:59:15.360 Fine.

00:59:16.080 Have you ever found something in a pipe that you thought this person could be a murderer

00:59:19.140 doing something dangerous?

00:59:22.460 Like some bonage or anything like that?

00:59:24.720 I found a baby in a pipe once.

00:59:26.240 Oh, you didn't?

00:59:26.780 Yeah.

00:59:27.800 Baby what? 0.98

00:59:28.660 A baby human. 1.00

00:59:29.520 Oh, damn. 1.00

00:59:30.340 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:31.980 That was a pretty sad day.

00:59:33.040 I had to call the police, though.

00:59:34.240 You did?

00:59:34.700 Yeah.

00:59:36.600 So she miscarried.

00:59:38.040 She miscarried. 0.98

00:59:38.660 He beat the crap out of her. 0.96

00:59:40.080 She miscarried, flushed it. 0.97

00:59:42.440 So it wasn't very large.

00:59:44.300 It was just barely bigger than the size of your hand or so.

00:59:46.320 But fortunately for her, their sewer line was already stopped up.

00:59:54.640 So when she flushed it down, it didn't go all the way.

00:59:58.520 And a couple of days later, they had called Roto-Rooter.

01:00:02.260 And when I got there and undid the cap out in the front yard, the baby came out.

01:00:07.580 And I had to look at it for a couple of minutes because I've seen so many rats in pipes.

01:00:14.640 So a rat that has been drowned or it will lose all its fur, and it'll also be white and very small and have bones.

01:00:21.240 So you got to kind of look it over.

01:00:22.420 It was not dissimilar from that, minus the tail and all that.

01:00:26.340 But it was definitely a human baby.

01:00:28.040 Wow.

01:00:28.680 And I'm like, ugh.

01:00:30.180 So.

01:00:30.680 And what do you do?

01:00:31.440 Did you feel something like spiritually at that point at all?

01:00:33.760 Yeah, it felt horrible.

01:00:35.020 I didn't know what was really going on at the time.

01:00:36.780 I think I was like 21 or 22.

01:00:38.360 You know, I was very young.

01:00:39.660 So I picked up the next tail and I called my boss.

01:00:42.860 Hey, Lamar, man, a baby came floating out of this drain.

01:00:45.880 What do I do?

01:00:46.980 I'm way out in the country, out in the middle of nowhere, you know? 0.99

01:00:49.240 And he goes, you pack up your shit, get in the truck and leave right now. 1.00

01:00:52.200 Don't unstop that drain. 1.00

01:00:53.400 Don't do nothing.

01:00:54.660 So I did.

01:00:55.440 I packed up my, I didn't even talk to the lady.

01:00:57.200 I just loaded up my stuff and drove away.

01:00:59.460 They called the police.

01:01:00.460 The police showed up.

01:01:01.160 They did their thing. 0.87

01:01:02.040 The guy went to jail for beating the crap out of the lady. 1.00

01:01:04.120 Oh. 0.56

01:01:04.740 So at least that happened.

01:01:07.400 So.

01:01:07.820 Right.

01:01:08.160 Sad story and all that.

01:01:09.300 But at least if you don't get called, you don't go there.

01:01:11.360 You don't go there.

01:01:11.660 Yeah.

01:01:12.300 Maybe, yeah.

01:01:13.020 Maybe they don't find out.

01:01:14.360 Right. 0.98

01:01:14.720 And maybe he continues beating the crap out of her. 0.98

01:01:16.940 So. 0.88

01:01:17.500 You know, it's funny.

01:01:18.220 It's almost like a little bit of a euphemism for life.

01:01:20.280 It's like you think you can put everything into the, hide everything inside of yourself or in

01:01:24.660 the, you know, in the drains, you know.

01:01:27.360 In our emotional drains or in the ground or wherever, but it all comes to the surface.

01:01:31.640 Eventually.

01:01:32.420 Eventually it's all going to pop out.

01:01:33.720 You can't hide it forever.

01:01:34.940 Yeah.

01:01:36.180 Oh yeah.

01:01:36.600 RIP, man.

01:01:37.380 It's so sad, dude.

01:01:38.360 What kind of baby?

01:01:38.900 Was it a boy or girl?

01:01:39.720 Do you know?

01:01:40.060 I couldn't tell.

01:01:41.040 It was, like I said, it was so small and it had been in there for a while.

01:01:44.000 So it was already starting to kind of, and it wasn't fully developed and all that.

01:01:47.200 Right.

01:01:49.360 Yeah.

01:01:50.080 Yeah.

01:01:50.480 Sad, man.

01:01:51.020 That drain baby.

01:01:51.700 And it was Alabama.

01:01:52.520 That was in Alabama.

01:01:53.340 Yeah.

01:01:53.480 I found an alarm clock in the toilet.

01:01:56.360 I found an Elmo in the toilet.

01:01:58.000 I could understand that, dude.

01:01:59.360 You're late for work.

01:02:00.420 You're not late for work.

01:02:01.540 That was exactly it.

01:02:02.520 The alarm clock went off.

01:02:03.520 Dude threw it that way and it went right down the toilet. 1.00

01:02:07.760 He's like, shit. 1.00

01:02:09.560 And he was right. 1.00

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01:03:40.040 Man, I keep forgetting to send one of these to my friend who just had a new baby boy.

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01:05:27.920 Let's go to this video question that came in right here.

01:05:31.320 What up, pimps?

01:05:33.520 I was wondering if it's true they call the day after Thanksgiving,

01:05:36.680 Brown Friday in the plumbing world.

01:05:38.240 They really do.

01:05:38.840 Good boy, no.

01:05:39.820 Gang, gang.

01:05:40.780 Gang, bro.

01:05:41.760 They do?

01:05:42.780 Busiest plumbing day of the year for service plumbers.

01:05:46.720 And that's just based on sheer volume of feces? 0.87

01:05:49.920 I mean, it's just called Brown Friday.

01:05:52.480 To be honest, it's mostly kitchen sinks.

01:05:55.220 Ah.

01:05:56.640 Yeah, all the stuff.

01:05:58.340 Potato peels.

01:05:59.460 80% of it's going to be potato peels in the garbage disposal.

01:06:03.220 You got a big Thanksgiving dinner.

01:06:05.400 You just peeled 20 potatoes.

01:06:06.560 They all went down the drain.

01:06:07.660 They didn't go very far.

01:06:08.680 Right.

01:06:09.400 Yeah.

01:06:09.780 So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:06:11.660 Yeah, potato peels, they just have that same consistency.

01:06:14.460 It's like a little layer of skin they can just gather up.

01:06:17.120 Yep.

01:06:17.260 So, they call it, he's right though.

01:06:20.760 They do call it Brown Friday, man.

01:06:22.440 One year, I did 14 service calls in one day, the day after Thanksgiving. 0.98

01:06:27.240 And is it mostly shit related or is it like a mix of things? 0.98

01:06:30.840 Well, you said a lot of it's food. 0.99

01:06:32.760 Like I say, out of those 14 service calls, I think 12 of them were kitchen sinks.

01:06:36.700 So, it's just food particles and everything.

01:06:38.520 And the other two are main lines.

01:06:40.240 And do you go to places where sometimes people are embarrassed?

01:06:42.960 Like they'll come in, but they'll never even look you in the eyes.

01:06:46.080 It's over there.

01:06:47.020 Oh, yeah.

01:06:47.560 Wow.

01:06:48.140 Well, not only that. 1.00

01:06:48.980 People have a lot of shame around feces and around shit. 0.99

01:06:52.180 So, it went beyond that because several years after quitting with Roto-Rooter, I started working for one of the largest luxury hotels in the world. 1.00

01:07:04.600 Wow.

01:07:05.260 I don't know if I'm allowed to say who it is.

01:07:06.820 Oh, you're certainly allowed.

01:07:08.240 Oh, Four Seasons in Seattle.

01:07:11.160 I'm working for Four Seasons in Seattle.

01:07:13.180 And those toilets stop up just like any other toilet. 0.98

01:07:15.440 But these people are fancy and they don't want to interact with the common folk who is coming to unstop their toilet.

01:07:22.460 Yeah.

01:07:22.580 The plumber is a strange guy to them.

01:07:24.620 Well, I actually work for the Four Seasons.

01:07:27.380 Oh, wow.

01:07:27.900 So, yeah, I was a maintenance man.

01:07:29.660 For a specific one or for like kind of an area?

01:07:31.600 Eventually, I worked for three.

01:07:33.140 Okay.

01:07:33.620 But one at a time.

01:07:34.520 I worked Four Seasons in Seattle for three years as their overnight maintenance.

01:07:38.080 So, it wasn't just plumbing I was doing.

01:07:39.840 Drywall repair and painting and all this other, you know, whatever needed to be done.

01:07:43.800 Including, you know, all the building maintenance and handling guest room calls.

01:07:47.820 So, yeah, most of the time, if a guest were to call with a stopped up toilet, that guest would not be in the room.

01:07:54.240 Wow.

01:07:54.740 They'd just dip out.

01:07:56.340 Let you fix it.

01:07:57.240 They don't want to.

01:07:57.960 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:58.500 You know, you already got to smell their shit. 1.00

01:08:01.020 They don't want to talk to you. 1.00

01:08:02.020 Yeah.

01:08:02.380 For the most part.

01:08:03.160 There was some small occasions where they would be in there and they would just be in.

01:08:07.360 It's in there.

01:08:08.300 Right.

01:08:08.900 Yeah, lady. 1.00

01:08:09.400 I know where the bathroom is.

01:08:10.760 I work here.

01:08:11.740 Have you ever had anybody, like, put on a mask or something so they don't see you?

01:08:14.960 Like, because people have so much shame surrounding, like, body, you know, activity and stuff.

01:08:19.380 They do, but no.

01:08:20.460 I had one lady. 0.99

01:08:21.480 Anybody hiding behind their hand or anything?

01:08:23.120 Like, anything that's.

01:08:24.000 No.

01:08:24.600 No.

01:08:25.020 I had one lady open the door with the robe and the robe was open. 1.00

01:08:28.160 Oh, yeah.

01:08:28.480 So, I mean, just everything was showing. 0.99

01:08:30.260 Damn. 0.99

01:08:30.660 Nice looking or not? 0.99

01:08:31.540 Yeah.

01:08:31.940 Real nice looking.

01:08:32.800 Yeah.

01:08:32.960 I ain't trying to lose my job.

01:08:34.320 Right.

01:08:35.700 I can't come in.

01:08:36.860 I'm sorry.

01:08:37.560 Wow.

01:08:37.820 She's like, no, no, no.

01:08:38.640 It's okay.

01:08:39.120 Come on in.

01:08:39.640 And I'm like, no, I can't.

01:08:40.640 Her husband pops around from the corner and he's like, yeah, it's okay.

01:08:43.840 Come on in.

01:08:44.820 I'm like, no, it's not okay.

01:08:46.840 Yeah.

01:08:47.180 Like, surprise me with a man.

01:08:48.760 That ain't going to help.

01:08:49.960 No, no, no.

01:08:50.560 Y'all trying to invite me in here for some freaky stuff?

01:08:53.460 I ain't down.

01:08:54.580 Let me fix your toilet. 1.00

01:08:55.780 Have you ever had anybody offer you?

01:08:57.100 Yeah.

01:08:57.260 Just straight up point blank.

01:08:58.340 Here's a couple hundred dollars.

01:08:59.300 Watch me bone Rhonda or whatever, you know?

01:09:01.380 Like, watch us do something.

01:09:02.720 Man, I might get down on that.

01:09:04.440 But no, I never had that.

01:09:05.540 Don't have that.

01:09:06.020 I mean, if I just got to stand there and watch.

01:09:08.720 Not yet.

01:09:09.680 No.

01:09:09.820 It'll come, man.

01:09:10.980 I'll tell you this, man.

01:09:11.900 When you guys hire the toilet champion, you throw in $300, he'll watch you guys bone for

01:09:16.700 a half hour.

01:09:17.560 That's for damn sure.

01:09:18.440 Look, man, I guarantee you somebody will hire you now to come do it.

01:09:21.900 Hey, man, money is money.

01:09:23.540 You're going to pay me $300.

01:09:24.860 Well, look.

01:09:25.420 Take a break.

01:09:25.540 I ain't got to do no hard work.

01:09:26.860 I just got to stand there and watch.

01:09:28.720 Frank, it's still plumbing.

01:09:30.000 You're watching, bro.

01:09:30.620 That's right.

01:09:31.000 Somebody's laying pipe.

01:09:31.960 Get that half a sandwich, dog. 0.70

01:09:33.700 Here comes a white guy with a question.

01:09:35.400 Ooh, from Seattle, from your old stomping grounds.

01:09:37.480 I'll be down.

01:09:38.000 You got a nice hat on.

01:09:38.840 And I will say before I play this one, we got more questions for you than we have in

01:09:44.160 a long time for a guest. 0.79

01:09:45.580 But two-thirds of them were, have you ever had sex on the job? 0.96

01:09:50.340 Did anybody ask you to clean your pipes? 0.89

01:09:51.860 A lot of that type stuff.

01:09:53.420 Yeah.

01:09:53.720 A lot of euphemisms.

01:09:54.600 Oh, yeah.

01:09:55.120 We covered that pretty in-depth.

01:09:58.160 What's happening, Theo?

01:09:59.520 Ryan from Ohio.

01:10:01.060 Just wanted to ask Super Mario there if he, when he's cleaning out toilets, cleaning a real 0.99

01:10:06.820 nasty drain, does he glove up the hands or is he going raw?

01:10:10.920 I used to work with this cat in Pittsburgh.

01:10:12.720 He's from Pittsburgh.

01:10:13.760 Just thought I'd throw that in there.

01:10:15.200 From Pittsburgh.

01:10:16.100 He, you know, we worked on the river together on the boats and anytime he was cleaning the

01:10:22.560 shower, cleaning the toilet, he never gloved up the hands.

01:10:25.840 I always called him nasty.

01:10:27.140 He said it was because he used to be a plumber and, you know, all plumbers did that.

01:10:31.000 I just wanted to know if Super Mario there did that and he'll probably try to lie to you

01:10:35.700 and say he didn't because you got him on the spot right now.

01:10:38.020 So just don't shake his hand when he goes to leave.

01:10:41.160 Gang, gang.

01:10:42.080 Gang, gang, brother.

01:10:43.160 Thank you.

01:10:43.600 Ryan, was that Ryan from Ohio?

01:10:45.260 Yep.

01:10:45.580 Ryan Boyer.

01:10:46.320 Oh, thank you, Mr. Boyer.

01:10:47.400 I appreciate it.

01:10:47.780 That's a good question.

01:10:48.900 It is.

01:10:50.920 Yeah.

01:10:52.020 First four or five years, no gloves.

01:10:56.080 Raw dog.

01:10:57.560 Yeah.

01:10:58.640 Yeah.

01:10:59.240 That's my toilet champion. 1.00

01:11:00.900 And still, if I don't have gloves, I don't give a shit. 0.99

01:11:03.880 Yeah. 0.97

01:11:04.080 I mean, if I have them, I'll use them.

01:11:05.800 But if not, I know how to wash my hands.

01:11:07.780 Yeah.

01:11:08.080 I'm not trying to stick my hands in my face or on my eyes or shake hands with people or

01:11:12.040 anything.

01:11:12.540 Yeah, it's work.

01:11:13.380 But here's the other thing.

01:11:15.420 I went to cooking school for a year.

01:11:17.780 So that was an everyday, four hours a day thing.

01:11:21.800 And the biggest thing that they teach you in cooking school is to wash your hands.

01:11:26.340 And such good cleanliness habits with your hands.

01:11:30.740 So I can understand the difference.

01:11:34.500 You know what I'm saying? 0.91

01:11:35.820 Again, it's okay to stick your hands in poop. 0.95

01:11:38.940 Yeah.

01:11:39.040 If you know you're going to wash your hands before you shake somebody else's hand or stick

01:11:42.380 it in your mouth or whatever.

01:11:43.340 But yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:44.640 No worries.

01:11:45.280 I don't care.

01:11:45.800 I'll put my hands on church before.

01:11:47.000 Yeah.

01:11:47.100 You got good hand etiquette.

01:11:49.060 Yeah.

01:11:49.360 You got hand plans.

01:11:50.500 You plan plans for your hands.

01:11:51.560 I'm not trying to touch food right after cleaning out somebody's toilet.

01:11:54.600 Yeah.

01:11:54.800 I'll probably wash my hands three or four times before I do that.

01:11:57.420 Yeah. 0.99

01:11:57.700 You ain't going to clean out a shitter and then fucking polish off a thing of deviled 1.00

01:12:01.180 eggs immediately. 0.99

01:12:02.300 Most likely not.

01:12:03.160 Yeah.

01:12:03.780 But back in the day, I did.

01:12:06.380 Amen.

01:12:06.740 In the first five years, yeah, I'd go unstop somebody's thing and then go eat lunch without

01:12:11.200 washing my hands.

01:12:12.140 Hell yeah.

01:12:12.640 I didn't know any better.

01:12:13.780 I was a kid.

01:12:14.740 Yeah.

01:12:15.220 And at that time, it's wild.

01:12:17.840 When you're young, you can spare a couple years.

01:12:20.100 You're like, oh, I get lymphoma.

01:12:21.660 I get carcinogen or whatever.

01:12:24.460 I'll be fine.

01:12:25.220 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:12:25.620 I'll fucking lose a limb. 0.99

01:12:26.620 I'll sprout another. 1.00

01:12:27.360 When you're young, you have that in your head.

01:12:29.860 Invincibility attitude.

01:12:31.180 You're like, oh, whatever, dude. 0.99

01:12:32.340 I'll fucking have a couple spare ribs and fucking half a turd for lunch, bro. 0.99

01:12:38.100 Now I got to be careful when I get out of bed because it's a ways down. 0.99

01:12:41.020 You know?

01:12:44.300 Um, what do we have, Nick?

01:12:47.120 Let's get to a video question.

01:12:48.220 I'm not.

01:12:48.920 We actually had a.

01:12:51.020 That was a great question by that guy.

01:12:53.260 Yeah.

01:12:53.620 Yeah.

01:12:53.960 I would have just assumed, yes, they do wear gloves.

01:12:56.840 So that's very interesting.

01:12:58.140 We actually had a message from someone you might know.

01:13:01.340 Uh-oh.

01:13:01.900 It's a voice memo, actually, not a video.

01:13:04.340 So let's hear this.

01:13:05.880 What's the biggest turd you've ever seen while plumbing? 0.66

01:13:11.920 That's my father.

01:13:13.140 Is it really?

01:13:13.620 Yeah, I know that guy's voice.

01:13:14.960 Wow.

01:13:15.160 That's like, Luke, I am your father.

01:13:16.720 That was like very Star Wars-y.

01:13:19.100 I know his voice.

01:13:21.160 Yeah.

01:13:21.360 One more time.

01:13:21.920 Let's hear it.

01:13:25.880 What's the biggest turd you've ever seen while plumbing?

01:13:29.760 Oh, that's awesome, man.

01:13:31.720 You know, it has to be the one I was talking about earlier, the lady with the baseball poops. 1.00

01:13:36.860 Yeah.

01:13:37.100 There's Cole and Ryan.

01:13:38.100 That's what they call it.

01:13:40.620 It's great.

01:13:41.340 Thank you, bro.

01:13:42.060 That's great.

01:13:42.900 It just came into my brain, man.

01:13:44.200 Oh, man.

01:13:44.660 I'm going to have to get a hold of my friend at Alabama and tell him that.

01:13:47.640 He'll laugh.

01:13:48.580 He'll remember how to.

01:13:49.280 Buy him a Houston jersey.

01:13:50.600 That's what you've got to do.

01:13:51.840 Cole and Ryan.

01:13:53.020 Dude, those thigh young award winners. 0.96

01:13:54.960 That's what I'm talking about.

01:13:56.000 Now, I mean, yeah, that was the biggest one while plumbing, but I was walking down the streets

01:14:01.360 of Seattle like, I don't know, 10 years ago.

01:14:03.780 I was plumbing a building, actually, and we were just taking it because we were commercial

01:14:06.920 plumbers doing high-rise buildings and kind of got out of that turd chasing business.

01:14:12.500 That's what they call Roto-Rooter, man, turd chasers. 0.99

01:14:14.700 Turd chasers.

01:14:15.400 Yeah.

01:14:16.340 So I got into the new construction, high-rise, clean pipe, no more dirty hands.

01:14:21.320 Right.

01:14:21.700 And we were walking downtown Seattle, headed to Whole Foods like we did every day to have

01:14:26.560 our 10 o'clock morning, 15-minute break.

01:14:29.320 And we passed, I kid you not, a one-foot turd.

01:14:34.540 Oh, wow.

01:14:35.300 I mean, in diameter.

01:14:36.440 It was a pile of poop. 1.00

01:14:38.880 Shit squats, huh? 1.00

01:14:39.960 That's insane. 1.00

01:14:40.600 A foot in diameter.

01:14:41.720 Jesus.

01:14:42.800 And where'd they get it from?

01:14:43.860 You think it came directly out of a body?

01:14:45.440 You think it was a group of people? 0.97

01:14:46.640 It was a human turd. 0.98

01:14:47.600 One human turd. 0.91

01:14:48.740 Oh, wow. 0.72

01:14:49.120 And it was just kind of like one of these, kind of soft-serve deal.

01:14:53.200 Yeah.

01:14:53.660 That's a thing, though.

01:14:54.680 That's a homeless thing. 0.99

01:14:56.340 I don't know if you knew that or not. 1.00

01:14:58.100 Homeless in major cities, shit on the sidewalks on purpose. 1.00

01:15:02.080 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:15:03.080 I knew that. 1.00

01:15:03.560 It's like they're, fuck you to society or whatever. 1.00

01:15:06.960 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:07.200 So it's not uncommon to see a big turd.

01:15:10.160 And I almost think like they're kicking back like, hey, I got a three-day turd built up.

01:15:14.660 I got to go find a sidewalk, you know?

01:15:16.360 Yeah.

01:15:16.700 And then we'll kick back and watch all these people walk past it.

01:15:19.280 Oh, I bet.

01:15:20.040 It's got to be. 0.98

01:15:21.120 And honestly, you can't fucking find entertainment like that. 0.98

01:15:24.920 Nah, come on, man. 0.99

01:15:26.120 That's free entertainment.

01:15:27.240 That's amazing.

01:15:28.200 Imagine laying just a real snake in the basket heater across the way. 0.83

01:15:33.040 Yeah.

01:15:33.440 And then you and your buddy crack open a couple natty lights.

01:15:36.520 And sit over in the corner and watch. 1.00

01:15:38.600 And fucking watch the fucking fireworks. 1.00

01:15:40.700 I saw that in Hollywood like two months ago. 1.00

01:15:43.000 Oh, dude.

01:15:43.440 And people had stepped in it.

01:15:44.640 So there was like foot tracks going away from it.

01:15:46.820 It was crazy.

01:15:47.560 That's insane.

01:15:48.740 You know, it's interesting, too, because at a certain point with bodily functions, we become almost like animals in a way.

01:15:57.360 You know, it's like we mark our territory.

01:15:59.340 Oh, yeah.

01:16:00.060 When I was young, I used to be real scared.

01:16:01.800 And I would urinate in places in my bedroom.

01:16:04.200 All right.

01:16:04.520 You know, and I think in hindsight, I never really knew why I did it.

01:16:07.560 But I think I was like scared that something was going to come get me.

01:16:11.020 So I would mark my territory.

01:16:13.600 You know, I don't think it was a choice that I was making.

01:16:15.680 I felt like it was a not involuntary reaction, but just something that was more in the animalistic DNA of me.

01:16:23.160 You know, did you ever outgrow that?

01:16:25.420 Yes, I did.

01:16:26.080 Well, I have not yet.

01:16:27.280 Really?

01:16:28.320 Wow.

01:16:30.100 You'll just do it sometimes.

01:16:31.400 I get in trouble with my girl and my fiancee a lot for peeing in inappropriate areas.

01:16:39.600 Wow.

01:16:40.760 That's interesting.

01:16:41.620 Do you think that's any reason why you got into plumbing?

01:16:44.940 No.

01:16:45.960 No.

01:16:46.660 Uh-uh.

01:16:47.780 But drinking sometimes comes into play with the peeing on the floor or whatever.

01:16:56.100 Oh, yeah.

01:16:56.580 On an ironing board in a hotel room or something.

01:16:59.820 Yeah, that's fun.

01:17:00.800 You never know.

01:17:01.400 Yeah, I mean.

01:17:02.520 So you'll do some wild pissing.

01:17:04.700 But also, more to your point, like you're saying, kind of, every time I move into a new place, I got to pee on it.

01:17:12.360 Yeah.

01:17:12.680 In some, somewhere.

01:17:14.140 Yeah.

01:17:14.300 I'm going to pee on that house somewhere.

01:17:17.180 I don't know why.

01:17:18.600 I just have to.

01:17:20.260 Dude, my buddy's dad, when I was growing up, used to get on the roof sometime when he'd been drinking and he'd let us watch him piss down the chimney.

01:17:27.060 Down the chimney.

01:17:28.160 Yeah.

01:17:28.340 To come inside.

01:17:29.060 And then mom, they wouldn't know, we'd sneak up. 0.99

01:17:31.600 And then the mom would fucking get so mad. 1.00

01:17:34.440 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:17:35.480 Yeah.

01:17:35.920 They just can't understand why you can't go use the toilet.

01:17:39.540 Yeah.

01:17:39.780 Well, because I don't have to.

01:17:41.880 Yeah, because I don't have to.

01:17:43.460 Because I don't have to.

01:17:44.840 Dude, you can pee.

01:17:45.820 You're supposed to pee in the toilet, but you can also pee wherever you want.

01:17:49.240 Exactly.

01:17:49.880 Wherever you want.

01:17:50.680 In a suitcase, on an ironing board.

01:17:53.140 Do you feel like it's territorial for you?

01:17:55.400 I think so.

01:17:56.020 Yeah.

01:17:56.320 Yeah.

01:17:56.960 Yeah.

01:17:57.160 I hope.

01:17:58.120 I don't know if I'll grow out of it.

01:17:59.680 I don't care if I do or not, really.

01:18:02.020 Yeah.

01:18:02.560 It's not really a...

01:18:04.040 The only bad vibe I get from it is from my fiance.

01:18:08.460 Yeah.

01:18:08.820 Yeah.

01:18:08.880 Yeah.

01:18:08.980 She's not comfortable with it.

01:18:10.960 Well, look, dude.

01:18:11.720 That's when you break out that trophy and say, hey, lady. 1.00

01:18:14.020 I am the toilet champion.

01:18:15.440 Yeah.

01:18:15.740 I mean, look.

01:18:17.140 And the toilet champion's gonna do what the toilet champion is gonna do. 1.00

01:18:22.000 I need to get a belt, too.

01:18:23.140 Dude, you really do, man.

01:18:25.140 I'm not joking, bro.

01:18:26.620 I probably could.

01:18:27.360 Get one of the kids when you go into the house and they're in there.

01:18:32.080 That's awesome that your dad called in.

01:18:33.860 Because we didn't know that he was gonna call in.

01:18:35.960 Right, Nick?

01:18:36.360 Right.

01:18:36.740 I just recognized the last name.

01:18:39.340 Laskoski was on the lineup of just people that had called.

01:18:41.760 Yeah.

01:18:42.160 That's pretty awesome.

01:18:43.040 That's cool.

01:18:44.060 Did you and your father ever work together?

01:18:48.800 No.

01:18:49.420 Well, yes and no.

01:18:51.060 Not really.

01:18:52.240 So I'd have to say no.

01:18:53.500 I got a job working at the same company as him, but for a very brief period of time.

01:18:58.200 We weren't doing the same thing.

01:18:59.180 We weren't even working in the same area.

01:19:00.400 But it was only an in-between until I could.

01:19:04.740 Construction plumbers get laid off from time to time.

01:19:07.400 You hit a big job or whatever, a high-rise building.

01:19:09.700 When that building is over, a lot of those plumbers are gonna go on unemployment.

01:19:14.420 I see.

01:19:14.760 That seems to be the way of it.

01:19:17.360 And I don't like to sit still.

01:19:18.740 Yeah.

01:19:18.880 So my old man had a company he was working for, and they'll hire anybody.

01:19:22.720 They don't care.

01:19:23.340 It's barely better than minimum wage, but it's money.

01:19:26.740 Wow.

01:19:27.060 So I went and worked for him for a couple of months.

01:19:29.020 But like I say, him and I never really...

01:19:30.800 Him and I do different things.

01:19:32.800 He's a painter.

01:19:34.040 And you guys must be pretty close if he called in.

01:19:36.160 That's pretty cool.

01:19:37.060 Oh, yeah.

01:19:37.380 I mean, since we've become adults, yeah, we're best friends.

01:19:41.400 He's my best guy friend, I think.

01:19:43.200 Wow.

01:19:43.340 You know, my fiance is probably my best real friend.

01:19:46.360 And your dad is a pretty hard worker himself?

01:19:48.460 Oh, yeah.

01:19:49.100 He's 62, 63.

01:19:51.100 Been working his whole life.

01:19:52.360 So, you know.

01:19:53.020 That's cool.

01:19:53.620 Instilled some good values, I would say.

01:19:55.420 Yeah, it sounds like it, man.

01:19:56.500 How do you get from...

01:19:57.620 So for the young plumbers out there and plumbers apprentices and young men that are like,

01:20:02.220 well, what do I do?

01:20:03.100 Is there a way up out through that business?

01:20:05.480 How did you, you know, tell me how to get...

01:20:09.380 Those young men can get from starting working from a company with a Roto-Rooter or a commercial

01:20:14.420 group, some outfit like that, how they can get to that next level of being now a toilet

01:20:20.120 champion, you know?

01:20:21.260 Or self-sufficient.

01:20:22.320 Or self-sufficient.

01:20:23.140 Yeah, yeah.

01:20:23.440 Because there's a lot of...

01:20:24.980 There's pride in that.

01:20:26.400 There's...

01:20:26.900 Even though there's other expenses that come in, you know, it's nice to be able to have

01:20:33.020 something that feels like yours, you know? 1.00

01:20:34.520 You're going to piss in your own fucking yard, you know? 1.00

01:20:36.500 Hey, make no mistake. 1.00

01:20:37.460 I got to work hard for it and I'm always out there hustling still.

01:20:40.080 Yeah.

01:20:40.240 I mean, I've not hit easy street by any means.

01:20:42.880 Oh, and there never really is.

01:20:44.140 The more work you bring on or create or that you're a part of, the more work there is.

01:20:49.340 Yeah.

01:20:49.700 It's like...

01:20:50.420 It's like...

01:20:51.180 Growth.

01:20:51.580 Growth begets growth.

01:20:53.020 And it's a blessing and a curse.

01:20:54.900 There's a law of diminishing returns.

01:20:56.260 It's like...

01:20:57.520 It's never...

01:20:59.520 It's great, but it's different.

01:21:01.220 Yeah, yeah.

01:21:01.860 So, to answer that, I would say to start, and if you're in your own...

01:21:06.560 I mean, pride.

01:21:08.220 I want to say pride in your own abilities or your own work ethic.

01:21:14.120 You know, how hard I work and how I want it to look is what drives people paying me.

01:21:21.080 They pay me because what I put in looks good and it works.

01:21:24.740 I don't charge a fortune, but I'm not the cheapest out there either.

01:21:28.080 I pick what works price-wise for me and I try to be as completely open and fair with

01:21:34.920 my customers as I possibly can be.

01:21:36.640 And that seems to work well, whether you're doing plumbing or carpentry or, you know, treat

01:21:43.960 people right.

01:21:44.960 Treat them honestly.

01:21:46.000 Don't rob them and you'll get customers for life.

01:21:48.960 Yeah.

01:21:49.480 I've got people that call me from five, six, some 10 years ago.

01:21:53.900 Hey, you still in Seattle?

01:21:54.980 I got some plumbing.

01:21:55.780 Nah, I'm sorry, man.

01:21:56.760 You know, but they'll hold onto your number forever if you did them right.

01:21:59.580 That's so true.

01:22:00.420 Yeah.

01:22:00.700 You save it in there.

01:22:01.820 Yeah.

01:22:02.240 Brad, plumbing.

01:22:03.320 If you're to ask how to succeed by yourself, treat people right and don't rob them.

01:22:09.080 Yeah.

01:22:09.280 And you'll be fine.

01:22:11.000 What commercial plumbing companies are charging, I understand the overhead and the expenses

01:22:16.980 and the insurance and everything else and advertising and all that, but it's still,

01:22:21.260 you know, the owner is making money for doing very little.

01:22:24.640 Right.

01:22:25.440 You know, it feels egregious.

01:22:27.460 It's a little, it's a little too far.

01:22:29.960 So at some point you got out though, you started to do your own thing.

01:22:33.540 What'd you do?

01:22:34.260 Just, you started an LLC.

01:22:36.020 You started to do.

01:22:36.940 I have an LLC.

01:22:37.760 Right.

01:22:38.600 And then you started advertising.

01:22:40.140 How did you go about that?

01:22:41.080 I'm just trying to get some of these young guys who may be curious about that sort of

01:22:44.100 stuff, how to get out of somebody else's toilet.

01:22:46.500 Yeah.

01:22:46.840 Yeah.

01:22:47.100 And get into their own, hoist up their own. 1.00

01:22:49.600 And fucking, yeah. 1.00

01:22:50.100 At least pretend yours is a bird bath for a little while. 1.00

01:22:52.440 Yeah.

01:22:53.100 Craigslist was a good way to start.

01:22:54.400 That's how I got my start.

01:22:55.520 But there's a couple other avenues like Angie's List and there's a couple other apps that

01:22:59.440 you can use that will send you work, but you have to pay for it.

01:23:03.780 So Thumbtack, Angie's List, there's a couple of others that will give you job leads.

01:23:10.240 But if you were to accept those job leads, they can be quite expensive.

01:23:13.780 And all they are is leads.

01:23:15.360 Right.

01:23:16.040 So if the customer decides not to go with your price, then you're out that money.

01:23:20.840 You're still paying for that lead.

01:23:21.960 Yeah.

01:23:22.240 And that bill started getting so expensive that it wasn't worth it for the return I was

01:23:28.200 getting out of the jobs that would hire me.

01:23:31.060 I see.

01:23:31.560 So it ended up being, you know, a guy needs a new water heater, for example.

01:23:37.360 Oh, okay.

01:23:37.880 Well, yeah, I can put in a water heater way cheaper than they can put in a water heater.

01:23:42.420 But it cost me $100 just to tell that guy that.

01:23:46.200 And what if I tell him and he decides to go with somebody else?

01:23:50.080 I'm still out that $100.

01:23:51.880 Yeah.

01:23:52.360 So I gave up on all those.

01:23:53.680 They are an option.

01:23:55.160 If you're small time, really small time, and you're only doing the minimum bids, then it's

01:23:59.280 probably not going to be too expensive.

01:24:00.700 But if you're out there and you're trying to make it a business, Craigslist works pretty

01:24:05.020 well because it's $5 per post, and that's not very expensive.

01:24:09.960 And you get one job and you got your return on that.

01:24:13.100 Yep.

01:24:13.220 And word of mouth, I think, is probably my best.

01:24:18.680 Amen.

01:24:19.080 That seems to work better than anything.

01:24:21.760 And I've been here a few years, so I have enough built up now that I rarely do, but I

01:24:26.860 do post every once in a while on Craigslist.

01:24:28.880 Matter of fact, that's how Gianni found me.

01:24:31.620 Oh, really?

01:24:33.600 Yeah.

01:24:34.040 And Gianni, everybody knows, is the beautiful little twink.

01:24:38.300 And I'm not sure he's a twink, but he is a nice young man who's on a new – he's an

01:24:44.940 actor, and he's going to be on a new television show called – what is it?

01:24:49.220 Power.

01:24:49.560 He was just in the sixth season of Power.

01:24:52.320 Power.

01:24:52.880 Yeah.

01:24:53.200 He was just in the sixth season of Power, but he has a new show that he's taping right

01:24:55.560 now that we can't talk about, but we just did.

01:24:59.100 Well, we don't know what it is yet.

01:25:00.260 Yeah, but also we have insurance.

01:25:02.560 So it's nice, man.

01:25:03.920 Come at us, G. 1.00

01:25:04.640 Bro, yeah.

01:25:05.260 Come at us.

01:25:05.640 I'm using this insurance.

01:25:07.780 Hey, if I'm paying for it.

01:25:09.580 Have you ever seen kids – like, I knew we'd go over to these kids' houses, and sometimes

01:25:12.660 they would flush the toilet, obviously, and then use it as a little bit of a pool or something

01:25:16.260 on one of their kids.

01:25:17.200 Oh, yeah.

01:25:17.540 You see that a lot?

01:25:18.240 Oh, yeah.

01:25:18.960 Oh, yeah.

01:25:19.780 Yeah.

01:25:20.340 Kids – kids – oh, man.

01:25:22.420 Kids will swim in whatever.

01:25:23.840 Yeah.

01:25:24.460 Yeah.

01:25:24.900 In the toilet. 0.97

01:25:26.640 We had this one kid, Small Alan, and he could fucking literally, bro, go all the way under 0.99

01:25:31.720 the water and hold his breath, man. 0.99

01:25:34.000 In the toilet.

01:25:34.740 Yeah.

01:25:35.100 That's gross.

01:25:36.040 It was beautiful, I thought, at the time. 1.00

01:25:37.580 But, yeah, now in hindsight, as an adult, if I saw him in there, I'd be like, get the fuck 0.99

01:25:41.260 out of there, Alan. 0.99

01:25:45.140 Let's see.

01:25:45.960 Yeah.

01:25:46.900 Overflowed Upstairs Tub on Purpose.

01:25:49.540 Yeah.

01:25:50.020 The tub was that big toilet.

01:25:51.660 That's a big one to see happen a lot.

01:25:54.360 Or Bobbin for Apples.

01:25:55.500 People ever do anything like that. 1.00

01:25:56.380 Have you ever seen any crazy somebody – a lot of tits? 1.00

01:26:00.300 You have to pee? 1.00

01:26:00.860 Yeah.

01:26:01.180 Oh, go pee. 1.00

01:26:01.860 Is that okay?

01:26:02.380 Yeah.

01:26:02.820 Yeah?

01:26:03.160 Yeah, dude.

01:26:03.940 Don't pee in here.

01:26:04.760 No, no, no.

01:26:05.920 I got to mark my territory somewhere.

01:26:09.140 Just mark it in the bathroom across the hall.

01:26:11.620 There's a key right on there, and Nick will get it for you.

01:26:14.440 Today's episode is brought to you by Toilet Champion. 0.98

01:26:17.940 Get that shitter, baby. 1.00

01:26:20.440 You feel me? 0.99

01:26:23.480 Oh, man.

01:26:24.240 All right.

01:26:27.320 We got a couple more questions for you that have come in here from listeners, man, and

01:26:30.440 then we're going to get you on your way, man.

01:26:33.160 This guy is just trying not to get a bid.

01:26:34.860 It's a very specific question for him, but –

01:26:38.420 Hey, Theo, man.

01:26:39.820 This is JD.

01:26:41.220 I'm out of Pittsburgh, Kansas, and I see you're getting on with the plumber, so I got a plumbing

01:26:48.060 question for you.

01:26:49.700 I turn my bathroom sink on.

01:26:52.700 It just can't keep up.

01:26:54.300 The drain, it gets full, and I can't leave it running, you know?

01:26:58.660 Ah.

01:26:59.020 So I'd like to ask the plumber, what should I do about that?

01:27:03.820 Gang, gang.

01:27:04.720 Gang, bruh.

01:27:05.680 Thank you.

01:27:06.180 Bradley, was that his name?

01:27:07.940 It was –

01:27:09.980 JD.

01:27:11.360 Sorry.

01:27:12.620 JD.

01:27:13.980 Bradley.

01:27:14.800 I'm Bradley.

01:27:15.680 Right.

01:27:16.340 But still not somewhere.

01:27:17.620 I was trying to convince myself about that.

01:27:20.680 Thanks, JD.

01:27:21.320 That's a good question, man.

01:27:22.400 That's a really good question.

01:27:23.260 So, yeah, he's in there in the morning. 0.99

01:27:24.980 He gets it going, and then he's like, oh, shit, I'm trying to shave and stuff. 0.99

01:27:27.660 Now I got to wait and let it go down. 0.99

01:27:29.400 What's going on there, Brad?

01:27:30.740 That's happened to every college house I've ever been in, and almost immediately, and then

01:27:35.160 you just live with it.

01:27:36.120 Yeah.

01:27:36.480 Oh, man.

01:27:36.960 Such a simple fix, too.

01:27:38.320 Really?

01:27:38.740 Yeah.

01:27:39.420 I love this.

01:27:40.220 I love this question, JD.

01:27:42.040 Five-minute fix.

01:27:42.920 He's back in business.

01:27:44.480 He can either grab that stopper and pull it straight out, but sometimes they're connected

01:27:48.980 to a rod that's behind the pipe.

01:27:52.380 He has to reach behind there and undo that nut, pull the rod out, and then he can pull the

01:27:57.620 stopper out, and there'll be so much gunk and hair and nastiness on the bottom side of 1.00

01:28:03.000 that stopper.

01:28:03.680 You throw that in the trash, put the stopper back in, slide the rod back in, and tighten

01:28:08.640 that little nut that holds it in place.

01:28:10.560 You're good to go.

01:28:11.740 So what's going on there is the problem is if he pulls the stopper up, it won't come

01:28:15.000 all the way up, right?

01:28:15.800 That's the issue.

01:28:16.520 Well, the pipe is like this, right?

01:28:18.080 And there's a rod into the pipe, and the stopper is connected to that rod.

01:28:23.340 That way you can't pull it out.

01:28:24.900 Right.

01:28:25.060 So that little nut, it's finger tight usually.

01:28:28.700 90% of the time, it's finger tight.

01:28:30.340 Wow.

01:28:30.620 And you just undo it, pull that rod out to release that stopper and pull it out.

01:28:35.000 Clean it all off.

01:28:35.900 A lot of times what I'll do is I'll clean it all off and put the rod back in without

01:28:40.340 the stopper, and then just drop the stopper in.

01:28:43.140 So it's free floating.

01:28:44.460 You can use it as a stopper.

01:28:45.940 It still works, but if you want to take it out, you can't.

01:28:47.980 More manageable.

01:28:48.780 Wow.

01:28:49.060 Wow.

01:28:50.540 Dude, that's awesome.

01:28:52.520 Thank you, J.D.

01:28:53.200 That's a great question, and I hope that that's a fix for you, my friend, and I

01:28:57.180 appreciate you calling in and leaving.

01:29:00.020 That's a great one.

01:29:01.820 And also, I was thinking about the reason why you're here today.

01:29:05.660 We thought about we just wanted to have just more people in the world.

01:29:10.080 You know, like, it's just more fun sometimes to talk to somebody that, you know, not having

01:29:15.100 to talk to like celebrity or try to get celebrity or just, it's fun to just, I don't know.

01:29:20.080 Celebrity life is a little different for sure.

01:29:21.980 Yeah.

01:29:22.280 And we're just glad you're here today.

01:29:25.240 That's what I'm trying to say.

01:29:26.160 Oh, thanks, man.

01:29:26.640 Thanks for having me.

01:29:27.380 And what I want to say is, so you talked about putting an ad even on Craigslist every

01:29:31.640 now and then.

01:29:32.260 Yeah.

01:29:32.360 And that's how we found you.

01:29:33.520 Yeah.

01:29:33.800 Like our idea was just, we want to have somebody on.

01:29:36.560 We want a plumber.

01:29:37.820 Yeah, let's do it.

01:29:39.440 We're trying to get an illegal alien to come on. 0.99

01:29:41.340 Nice.

01:29:41.740 So, but we're like, we want a plumber.

01:29:43.360 So, we go on Craigslist to look.

01:29:45.260 And because you put your ad out there, you are searching for business.

01:29:49.520 You are doing your job.

01:29:51.460 Sure.

01:29:51.860 Then that's how we found you.

01:29:53.040 Right, Nick?

01:29:53.560 Yeah.

01:29:53.840 And we were just talking about like a toilet champion, at least website traffic.

01:29:57.800 Maybe it's not local people who can actually hire you, but it's going to blow up.

01:30:01.820 And I bet you'll get some TPW fans in the Valley hitting you up.

01:30:04.600 I'm hoping. 0.99

01:30:05.360 Dude, I'll drive out there and shit and call you. 0.99

01:30:07.640 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:30:08.340 I'm fired up.

01:30:10.440 That's so cool, man.

01:30:12.320 But just the way that you put yourself out there and work hard, man.

01:30:15.620 And that's how we're here today.

01:30:17.420 Because you don't put that ad out, we don't even know about you.

01:30:19.500 Right, right.

01:30:19.920 And this has been an amazing, it's been an amazing time, dude.

01:30:23.620 It was fun.

01:30:24.180 Just learning about it.

01:30:25.340 So, real quick, I told Nick this story.

01:30:29.200 You got to hear it, man.

01:30:29.920 Okay.

01:30:30.100 It is the funniest thing that has happened to me in plumbing.

01:30:34.240 Right?

01:30:35.420 It's worth it.

01:30:36.140 I wanted to introduce it, but I didn't want to step on it.

01:30:38.660 So, I'm glad you said something.

01:30:39.560 All right.

01:30:39.860 Awesome.

01:30:40.820 So, I moved, I transferred from Roto-Rooter, Alabama to Roto-Rooter, Tacoma.

01:30:44.780 Okay.

01:30:45.100 And this is the toilet champion story?

01:30:47.180 No.

01:30:47.700 Okay.

01:30:47.900 The toilet, I told you that one.

01:30:49.020 That was just putting the toilet together and winning a trophy and a hundred bucks. 0.99

01:30:52.080 Right.

01:30:52.240 Okay.

01:30:52.440 So, I shouldn't have interrupted you.

01:30:54.700 That, I moved, like I said, transferred.

01:30:57.580 I'm working for Roto-Rooter in Tacoma.

01:30:59.320 Mm-hmm.

01:30:59.760 And we get a new dispatcher.

01:31:01.700 Mm-hmm.

01:31:01.980 And the new dispatcher that gets hired is going to come on, on ride along with somebody.

01:31:07.320 Excellent.

01:31:07.660 So, she can kind of learn, or he can kind of learn what we do in the field, you know?

01:31:13.080 Experience.

01:31:13.660 Yeah.

01:31:14.140 So, this girl, Nikki, she comes with me, and we go, you know, service.

01:31:19.020 She sounds cute.

01:31:19.440 Is she cute? 1.00

01:31:20.540 Yeah.

01:31:20.760 She was cute enough. 0.99

01:31:21.440 Yeah.

01:31:21.720 Yeah.

01:31:22.020 She was cute enough. 0.99

01:31:22.680 Great. 1.00

01:31:23.000 Big old boobs on it. 1.00

01:31:24.380 Oh, both of them, bro. 0.99

01:31:26.000 Yeah.

01:31:26.300 They were both big.

01:31:27.260 Yeah.

01:31:27.400 Oh, yeah.

01:31:28.200 I love that.

01:31:29.100 You don't always get that, dude.

01:31:30.860 Yeah.

01:31:31.040 One.

01:31:31.500 Yeah.

01:31:31.860 Sometimes you get that buggy, you know, that lazy suit.

01:31:35.200 You know?

01:31:35.800 So, anyway, she's, we go on, you know, two, three, four service calls or whatever it was,

01:31:40.860 go eat lunch.

01:31:41.900 So, I have kind of a rare form of colitis, and my stomach can just blow up at any time.

01:31:47.740 What?

01:31:48.140 Are you serious?

01:31:48.660 Yeah. 0.99

01:31:49.060 It sucks. 0.99

01:31:49.720 It's weird, too. 0.99

01:31:50.600 The irony.

01:31:51.020 I'm a plumber, you know?

01:31:51.920 Yeah.

01:31:52.140 You would think.

01:31:54.140 But in all the years, even with bad guts and all that stuff, I've never used a customer's

01:31:58.840 toilet, because that, to me, is just bad etiquette. 0.89

01:32:01.440 Yeah.

01:32:01.540 I'm here to fix it.

01:32:02.480 I'm not here to use it.

01:32:03.480 Yeah.

01:32:03.720 But this instance, I had to use it, but I couldn't, because everything in the house

01:32:09.260 was completely stopped up.

01:32:10.460 Their toilets were full of water.

01:32:11.880 Their tubs were full of water.

01:32:13.580 Everything, they needed their main sewer line unstopped, and I cannot hold this anymore.

01:32:20.500 You got that boy on, huh? 1.00

01:32:21.860 I got a shit, something fierce. 1.00

01:32:25.340 I know when I really have to, when my eyebrows will start shaking, that's when I can't take 1.00

01:32:28.500 it anymore.

01:32:28.900 I start sweating.

01:32:29.920 Oh, yeah.

01:32:30.380 Because it's about to happen.

01:32:31.840 It's going to find its way out of your body.

01:32:32.680 Yes.

01:32:33.180 Yeah.

01:32:33.800 So what can I do?

01:32:35.500 I jumped into the back of my Roto-Rooter van.

01:32:37.540 I grabbed a bucket, and I shat very explosively and very loud with her sitting in the passenger 1.00

01:32:46.900 seat. 0.93

01:32:47.380 No way. 1.00

01:32:48.260 Nikki with them tits? 1.00

01:32:50.120 Smelling and hearing every bit of what was going on. 1.00

01:32:53.400 Did you tell her first?

01:32:54.680 I said, I'm really sorry.

01:32:56.200 I don't know what.

01:32:58.260 She's like, just do it.

01:32:59.600 And she's got the windows rolled down.

01:33:01.320 You could tell she's not happy about it, but she suffered through it.

01:33:04.300 The worst part was that people still had the plumbing problem.

01:33:09.600 So after I finished blowing up that bucket, I had to leave it there and go fix these people's 0.99

01:33:15.580 plumbing for another 30 minutes, leaving her with the bucket of shit. 0.99

01:33:19.160 In the car? 1.00

01:33:20.140 She got out for most of it and just kind of hung out outside.

01:33:22.340 You got to get out and get on your phone or something. 0.99

01:33:24.320 There's a bucket of shit in the car. 0.99

01:33:25.880 So I finish. 1.00

01:33:29.640 I get the drain unstopped and everything else.

01:33:31.420 I get back there.

01:33:32.060 I rinse out the bucket and clean it all out and everything.

01:33:34.860 And we drive all the way back to the Roto-Rooter office in silence.

01:33:39.880 Yeah.

01:33:40.300 Just not speaking to each other.

01:33:44.120 But so much chatter going on in y'all's heads, man.

01:33:47.700 We ended up living together for three years.

01:33:50.060 No.

01:33:50.960 Really?

01:33:51.760 Yeah.

01:33:51.980 Oh, man.

01:33:54.400 Yeah.

01:33:54.660 She was my girlfriend for a long time after that.

01:33:56.740 Praise God, brother. 0.99

01:33:58.240 That is fucking like Miracle on 34th Street, man. 1.00

01:34:01.220 Obviously, she didn't mind the smell of my shit that bad. 1.00

01:34:06.120 Wow, guys. 0.99

01:34:07.680 So you want to talk about how to meet a lady.

01:34:12.200 Man, that's crazy how the vulnerability of something brings people together.

01:34:16.860 Right.

01:34:17.480 It really does, man.

01:34:18.380 I mean, could I have been more vulnerable in that situation?

01:34:21.480 Yeah.

01:34:22.620 You know, I'm almost in tears.

01:34:24.620 Like, I'm so sorry I have to do this.

01:34:27.240 Oh.

01:34:27.600 You know.

01:34:28.780 And what did you tell her to look the other way?

01:34:30.760 Was there any rules you gave her?

01:34:31.980 Well, you know, in a service van, you got that bulkhead wall right behind the seats.

01:34:37.700 So, I mean, it's a steel wall, but there's holes through it.

01:34:39.880 Yeah.

01:34:40.160 So, I mean, she's facing forward.

01:34:41.520 She can't see.

01:34:42.100 She can hear everything that's going on.

01:34:44.120 Yeah, like gunshots.

01:34:46.120 She could probably taste.

01:34:47.660 Not that.

01:34:48.660 She could probably damn near taste everything that's going on.

01:34:51.480 Oh.

01:34:53.640 Man, bro. 1.00

01:34:54.280 You're crazy, man. 1.00

01:34:56.460 Hey, you got to do what you got to do. 1.00

01:34:57.820 Dude, you got to do what you got to do. 0.87

01:34:59.260 You're crazy, man, but you're the best, dude.

01:35:01.940 That's awesome. 0.95

01:35:02.560 You've been a plumber for how long, Brad?

01:35:04.500 I started when I was 20.

01:35:05.700 I'm 43.

01:35:06.880 Are you really?

01:35:07.560 Yeah.

01:35:08.000 You look like Daniel, too, from our cartoons, doesn't he, a little bit?

01:35:10.240 Yeah.

01:35:11.080 That's beautiful, dude.

01:35:11.720 You look like this kid I grew up with named Daniel, dude, who ironically used to drink

01:35:15.900 off the hose.

01:35:16.580 He would put the hose in his mouth, bro.

01:35:20.460 He'd put the hose in his mouth and then have you turn it on, even if it had been sitting

01:35:23.720 there all winter and take that first hose hit, bro. 1.00

01:35:25.900 That fucking hot hit, bro. 0.99

01:35:27.800 I don't mind the taste of hose water. 0.99

01:35:29.640 It's all right, but not the hot hose water. 0.99

01:35:31.780 He would get that fucking hot hit. 0.98

01:35:33.460 He would go sometime and lay the whole hose in the yard, bro, on the hottest day and let 1.00

01:35:39.320 that bitch heat up for a couple days sometimes, dude. 1.00

01:35:41.900 Let the spiders get in there. 1.00

01:35:43.780 That'll boil you. 0.99

01:35:44.700 Dude, he'll put it fucking right to the dome, bro. 0.99

01:35:47.960 Why? 0.99

01:35:48.180 Just taste the Lord, bro.

01:35:49.820 That dude was, he was about the spirit, man.

01:35:52.640 You know, he just, I don't know, but unbelievable, dude, that you have bad plumbing in your body

01:36:00.420 and you deal with bad plumbing in the world.

01:36:02.720 Right.

01:36:03.420 And then I became a cook so I could like deal with it coming in and coming out.

01:36:08.120 Full service, man.

01:36:10.160 Brad Likoski, the toilet champion of the Valley and maybe of the whole world, dude.

01:36:16.360 I think of the world.

01:36:17.020 Is the trophy worldwide?

01:36:17.700 I think so.

01:36:18.960 Why not?

01:36:19.580 I've never had anybody try to take it away.

01:36:23.040 Come take it off him.

01:36:24.240 Come take it off him.

01:36:25.740 Come get this.

01:36:26.440 I dare you.

01:36:27.000 We will see you.

01:36:28.500 I got insurance. 1.00

01:36:29.700 We will see you in these shit streets, man. 1.00

01:36:34.220 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:34.620 Thank you for being here today, man.

01:36:36.040 I'm so happy your dad got to be a part of it and just an inspiration, man.

01:36:40.040 Working hard and just doing what you do, dude.

01:36:43.040 And we're going to pay you.

01:36:44.160 I don't know what the time is, but we're going to pay you $500 for being here today with us. 1.00

01:36:47.140 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:36:47.960 That's awesome. 1.00

01:36:48.840 Yeah.

01:36:49.120 No, we appreciate it, man.

01:36:50.400 Thanks, man.

01:36:50.500 A lot of our listeners are hardworking people, and we're just happy to be associated with

01:36:55.340 you.

01:36:55.500 So thank you so much.

01:36:56.400 Hey, you ever get any further questions?

01:36:58.480 Shoot them my way.

01:36:59.260 I'll answer whatever I got. 0.97

01:37:00.700 Look, I'm going to save your number, bro.

01:37:02.080 There you go.

01:37:02.660 I certainly will.

01:37:03.580 Toilet champion, thank you. 0.77

01:37:04.740 Hey, thank you.

01:37:05.360 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:37:11.660 I must be cornerstone.

01:37:14.840 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:37:22.280 I can feel it in my bones, but it's going to take a little time for me to set that parking

01:37:34.560 break and let myself unwind Shine that light on me

01:37:42.040 I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me

01:37:52.740 And I will find a song I will sing it just for you

01:38:00.600 And now I've been moving way too fast

01:38:07.900 On a runaway train with a heavy load of power

01:38:11.020 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll

01:38:19.700 be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to

01:38:24.380 pleasure your partner.

01:38:25.960 The answer may shock you.

01:38:27.680 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:38:29.740 Sometimes I won't.

01:38:31.420 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:38:34.340 You have three new voice messages.

01:38:37.340 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:38:40.280 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:38:42.960 Longer than anybody else.

01:38:44.560 So great.

01:38:45.920 Hi.

01:38:46.580 Swia.

01:38:47.600 Easy too. 1.00

01:38:48.240 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00

01:38:52.860 Do you know what I mean? 0.99

01:38:53.820 Oh, hi.

01:38:55.020 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:38:57.940 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:39:00.020 Oh, no.

01:39:02.300 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:39:04.700 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:39:08.880 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:39:13.100 Third rule.

01:39:13.640 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:39:16.820 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:39:18.940 And yes, don't worry.

01:39:20.160 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - December 12, 2019

A Plumber ｜ This Past Weekend #249

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