This Past Weekend with Theo Von - All Aboard

00:00:00.000 Did you know that, well, I don't know, I don't know exactly, but they said starfish could be gay, I heard somewhere, so, I don't know what we're gonna do.

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00:01:58.460 I'm just sitting on your front porch, wondering how could I be so far from my home.

00:02:13.700 Amen, moi. Hello there.

00:02:16.820 And my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been blown.

00:02:24.280 Now I'm just falling on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves, I must be cornerstone.

00:02:38.840 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones.

00:02:47.760 But it's gonna take a little time, a little time, for me to set that talking break, and let myself unwind, shine that light on me.

00:03:04.440 Come on now.

00:03:06.480 I'll sit and tell you my stories, shine on me.

00:03:14.640 And I will, I will, I will, I will see it just for you.

00:03:25.040 And that is You Know Shine by Bishop Gunn.

00:03:29.500 Grateful to them for being alive in the same time period as we are.

00:03:37.020 Or as I am, anyway.

00:03:38.620 I can't speak for you.

00:03:39.580 But, oh, and you think about that.

00:03:45.660 What if you were, and some people you might not get to know somebody because they born at a different time period.

00:03:55.260 Think about that.

00:03:58.220 Think about that.

00:03:59.800 Oh, do you know, uh, you know, Carol?

00:04:04.920 You know, little Carol?

00:04:06.880 And people are like, oh, I don't know her.

00:04:09.340 Yeah, because she was born in 1804.

00:04:13.340 Oh, well, then.

00:04:16.840 Yeah.

00:04:17.880 Don't know her.

00:04:19.160 Think about that.

00:04:21.000 What about Big Samuel?

00:04:22.800 You know Big Samuel?

00:04:24.760 With the braids.

00:04:25.780 He got the French braids.

00:04:27.180 And he, you know, he always selling bags of yeast down there by the river.

00:04:33.620 You know, yeasty Sam.

00:04:36.380 Uh, no, I don't.

00:04:38.400 Where's he from?

00:04:40.080 Oh, you know, he's from, uh, you know, by the river banks.

00:04:45.680 Uh, no.

00:04:46.720 When, how old is he?

00:04:48.120 Oh, he's about 25.

00:04:49.380 You know, he was born in, uh, in 1834.

00:04:54.140 Oh, well, don't know him.

00:04:56.580 Can't know him.

00:04:59.220 And then it's just, wow, what if, what if your best friend, you know, isn't even born yet?

00:05:05.840 They're going to be born in two years.

00:05:09.040 And you, and you, so you missing out because y'all's time isn't synced up.

00:05:15.780 Think about that.

00:05:16.640 You, so next thing you know, you're milling around a preschool and people like, Hey, you

00:05:21.480 was, you know, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey, Judy.

00:05:26.740 Hey, Judy.

00:05:29.400 What you doing out here by the preschool?

00:05:32.620 And Judy says, Oh, well, you know, little, uh, little Cecilia right there.

00:05:40.040 The four year old.

00:05:41.140 I think we got vibes, you know, friendship vibes, you know, buddies, you know, you know,

00:05:49.100 vajuttis, you know, teamwork, team tits, hashtaggers, you know, friendship.

00:05:56.520 And they're like, Oh, nah, you know, you 25 years older than her.

00:06:01.660 So you can't hang out here.

00:06:03.340 I'm going to call the police.

00:06:06.820 You know, timing is so important.

00:06:10.820 You know, timing is important.

00:06:15.160 And you never know.

00:06:17.140 Sometimes you might miss your best friend because the timing wasn't right.

00:06:21.780 You know, you might be your best friend might be four and you might be 61, but y'all, you

00:06:30.320 know, and now, and now you can't even be friends with somebody because the law says it's fucked

00:06:35.800 up or the law says it's wrong.

00:06:40.000 It's wrong.

00:06:40.800 If a senior citizen wants to be buddies with a seven year old with somebody that's in second

00:06:47.200 grade and wants to, you know, hang out with them on the weekends or whatever and do cigarettes

00:06:54.560 or whatever, it's interesting timing, how important it is.

00:07:02.060 I'll tell you about this timing.

00:07:04.480 So I just crossed the international date line and I thought it was going to be a really good

00:07:12.040 episode hosted by Lester Holt, but it isn't.

00:07:16.400 It is, um, it is a line.

00:07:20.840 Let me research it for you real quick.

00:07:24.800 International date line.

00:07:27.340 Here's what it is.

00:07:28.600 It was established in 1884.

00:07:30.840 It passes through the mid Pacific ocean and follows 180 degrees longitude, north, south

00:07:39.400 line on the earth.

00:07:41.520 So that means it's up and down.

00:07:43.380 It's long.

00:07:44.380 It's top to bottom.

00:07:45.340 You know, it's, uh, it's, it's a, um, horizontal.

00:07:51.820 No, it's vertical line.

00:07:53.400 It's located halfway around the world from the prime meridian.

00:07:56.320 And when you cross it, the day changes.

00:07:59.640 Well, it's an imaginary line.

00:08:02.580 Also, it's not really real.

00:08:03.960 So you can't get out there and, you know, you're not going to see a big twizzler running

00:08:08.800 from the North pole to the South pole or something.

00:08:11.080 You're not going to see, you know, any buoys or anything like that.

00:08:14.520 Or, you know, a guy out there with a whistle pointing, you know, Thursday this way, Wednesday that way.

00:08:21.380 You know, it's just, it's where the day changes.

00:08:24.820 Anyway, I crossed it when I flew to Australia and back.

00:08:29.900 And I'm now back here in, uh, the U S on U S soil.

00:08:36.080 And I'm back here, uh, in, I'm in a new studio.

00:08:41.400 We're in a new studio.

00:08:42.840 So if you're on the YouTubes is, you know, this is different.

00:08:47.140 It's different in here.

00:08:48.660 We have more space.

00:08:50.400 Hello.

00:08:51.680 Might sound different in the back when I yell hello and nobody's listening.

00:08:55.100 Um, so just, you know, some changes going on.

00:09:02.920 I walked in, I'm nervous, you know, I'm nervous.

00:09:08.140 I walk in and I'm in my mind.

00:09:09.880 It's like, Oh, well, it's just going to be, it's going to feel suddenly like home.

00:09:14.040 And it's going to be, you know, nothing, everything will be kind of set up and everything will be.

00:09:19.260 Um, but it's, you know, we have a couch that, you know, uh, premature Nick, he got it on a, you know, so we have some furniture, we got a chair, uh, we have a couple bags, had some croissants.

00:09:36.440 Somebody had that are empty now from the coffee bean, couple, uh, couple C bags, couple croissant bags.

00:09:44.060 And we have a lot of empty space and a lot of possibility.

00:09:50.200 Those are the things that we have in here.

00:09:53.100 Um, so yeah, just a lot going on at the second, you know, being in a new place, getting home, having to come into the, into the studio and decide, okay, do I want to be confident when I get in here?

00:10:06.100 Um, you know, because Nick's here, Gianni is here with their new movie.

00:10:12.120 His new movie is out now, the movie Ma, M-A, and go see it.

00:10:19.460 Um, it's basically like, it's like fraternities meet kind of interracial dating, I think is what it is.

00:10:25.100 It's kind of like, uh, um, you know, uh, what is that called?

00:10:31.840 Um, it's like Kappa, Apartheid, Alpha, Omega, or something like that.

00:10:40.100 It's like, yeah, it's just, you know, it's got kind of a, I heard it's really good, it's scary, we'll see, I'm gonna go check it out.

00:10:45.700 But we're definitely excited that, you know, to support him and be supportive of him.

00:10:52.660 The, uh, but yeah, man, I got in here and I just did it.

00:10:54.880 I was like, man, okay, do I be nervous?

00:10:56.960 Do I just be confident?

00:10:59.420 Do I walk in here and act like, okay, I know everything we're gonna do?

00:11:03.920 And, um, and you know, Nick and Gianni had already been here, they moved stuff in, so they've had a little more acquaintance.

00:11:10.280 And they were just excited.

00:11:11.860 They were excited about the opportunity.

00:11:13.860 And so, you know, I just, I just tried to ride their excitement.

00:11:20.100 Because honestly, just a little bit scared, I guess.

00:11:23.500 You know, like taking on new responsibility.

00:11:25.720 Uh, the rent in here is twice as much.

00:11:30.060 Um, you know, the walls don't look the same.

00:11:33.720 Not to mention the other place is gone.

00:11:35.680 You know, the other studio is not, you know, everything's out of there.

00:11:38.980 So it's, I mean, it still exists like in a location inside of us, but, and in our memory.

00:11:45.460 And in, in time, but it doesn't exist the same anymore right now.

00:11:53.060 And so we're here, we're in something new.

00:11:55.900 It's like we're traveling.

00:11:57.360 Like when a baby comes out the body.

00:11:59.840 You know, when a baby comes out the body, they got, think about all of that.

00:12:04.360 First, the baby's been in there getting jacked up on, you know, on that mom's sauce.

00:12:10.700 Whatever mom's been having.

00:12:12.680 Sweet potatoes, chocolate, pickles.

00:12:15.920 A little bit of freaking gin, you know.

00:12:18.060 Maybe a little bit of Von Meyers rum or something at night.

00:12:22.260 Especially if it's winter time.

00:12:23.860 A little bit of that, uh, you know, what is that?

00:12:27.980 Egg batter and cognac or whatever.

00:12:30.420 The, uh, eggnog.

00:12:32.280 So, the baby, you know, when they decide to leave the womb, they really, that's a brave move.

00:12:41.160 Because it's basically, they're just, they're in there laying up in there.

00:12:44.660 It's like being at the Hampton Inn.

00:12:47.180 But the room kind of, you know, but nobody's, the maid hadn't come and cleaned your room in a while.

00:12:52.000 And they got a lot of, you know, they got, when you're the baby, you're in that little Hampton Inn inside of your mother.

00:12:57.600 And they got the Fessies over there.

00:13:01.160 And they got the, you know, just a bunch of Pizza Hut little, you know, boxes from all the snacks you've been having.

00:13:10.040 You gotta go.

00:13:12.120 And then you, you know, you slide out of your mother.

00:13:16.020 Out into the world.

00:13:17.240 And it's a new experience.

00:13:18.420 And that's where we are right now.

00:13:22.180 In this new experience.

00:13:24.960 So, yeah, just nervous, excited for the opportunity, hopeful.

00:13:31.620 I think I had a moment where I was like, oh, wow, I'm part of like a, you know, I really have to be more part of a team right now.

00:13:37.840 Then I'm just, you know, because I need, I need help.

00:13:41.300 I need help from my coworkers.

00:13:44.760 And I'm just, you know, I'm grateful to have them.

00:13:49.180 Man, I just got back from Australia.

00:13:51.280 And I just, I gotta say, it was amazing.

00:13:53.060 The last show, they had 3,000 people in Brisbane.

00:13:58.180 Brisbane, Australia.

00:13:59.600 And man, I can't, I'm trying to think of like what it feels.

00:14:05.640 I just, I don't know.

00:14:09.620 It feels like you can't thank everybody enough.

00:14:11.920 It feels like, you know, you walk out there.

00:14:15.560 I felt like damn Joel Osteen out there.

00:14:18.520 You know, I felt like I wish I had a big water gun full of holy water and just, you know, just filling people's mouths up from 50 yards away.

00:14:27.820 You know, just, just, just pressure washing the devil off of people.

00:14:32.780 It was just, you know, it was like a, it was just, it was interesting.

00:14:35.320 And then it's hard to tell if people are laughing as much when it's in a big space.

00:14:40.120 But I got such a great response just from people over social media.

00:14:44.140 And then we went to the koala park and saw the koalas and saw the kangaroos.

00:14:49.320 Kangaroos.

00:14:50.920 And if you've never seen a kangaroo, they, it's like, it's like when they, it's kind of like the first time somebody tells you, oh, that's your cousin or your second cousin.

00:15:01.860 Or they introduce you to your uncle that you never met.

00:15:04.380 And you're like, damn.

00:15:05.540 You know, uncle Ronnie got some short arms and a big ass, you know?

00:15:13.940 Oh, dang.

00:15:16.140 You know, uncle Ronnie's out there eating leaves off of the, off of the shrubbery.

00:15:21.000 Like, damn.

00:15:23.320 It may, it may be, I was shocked that, that huge, that, that their species, I was shocked that we're all have, you know, atoms in us that are similar.

00:15:32.400 Because a kangaroo is like something, you know, it's basically, a kangaroo is like the El Camino of the animal kingdom.

00:15:44.220 It is the, it is the, it's got a fucking, it's got a, I don't know what it is.

00:15:52.620 It's got like a dragon tail.

00:15:54.220 It's got that, it's got the body of a, kind of like a thick girl.

00:16:00.120 Like a real thick bitch that likes to fight, you know, kind of like a thick girl that doesn't, you know, that likes to thumb wrestle real heavily with others.

00:16:08.740 And it, and then it's got the head of like a, kind of a dog, like a, um, Doberman, like a lean Doberman that's on keto diet, sugar-free Doberman, that SFD.

00:16:20.320 And it's, it just, it blows your mind.

00:16:25.020 You're like, holy shit, this is an animal now?

00:16:28.840 And that's Australia, it's got unique animals.

00:16:31.720 It's got unique animals.

00:16:33.340 And you know what, one thing I loved about Australia, I'll say this, Australia is, if there's a country that I've visited that I could go easily see myself to live in, it would be Australia.

00:16:44.580 And then one of the things that I loved is that they still have a strong sense of being Australian, it feels like.

00:16:52.740 It felt like to me, this is my perception.

00:16:56.680 And at the airport, you could still go say bye to your loved ones, or you could meet somebody at the gate.

00:17:02.340 So it was just really beautiful, because you still see like a lot of like, what it means to travel and be somewhere new.

00:17:12.000 Like in America, you can't see that anymore.

00:17:14.100 When I was young, your mom could walk you to the gate and watch you cry in the little tunnel as you flew off to meet grandma.

00:17:22.540 And that's natural.

00:17:23.560 You know, if you're a child and you're about to fly four hours to see some senior citizens, I mean, that'll bring a tear to anybody's eye.

00:17:34.600 And especially if your step-grandfather is addicted to Marlboro Reds, and he does them indoors and shit, and you can't eat, you know.

00:17:44.380 So, right after dessert, right after a couple cups of pudding at grandma's, you got to sit there and get that secondhand smoke off of poppy.

00:17:54.800 But, yeah, man, one of the things about that is when you see people hug at the gate and you see people like say goodbye to each other at the gate, like you could in Australia.

00:18:07.120 You see like human affection.

00:18:09.100 You see human interaction.

00:18:10.320 And it makes you kind of, it gives like more of a meaning to what travel is.

00:18:16.020 And so I would see that at the different places.

00:18:18.120 And we flew, I think, to, I think we had maybe seven flights or six flights within the country once we got there.

00:18:27.780 And you're like, oh, wow, this is, oh, yeah, this person is coming to see someone.

00:18:32.780 This person is leaving someone they care about.

00:18:35.060 And it just, it reminded me of that time in the U.S. when you could do that.

00:18:39.440 You could go to the gate and greet somebody and greet a loved one.

00:18:44.140 You didn't have to have a ticket.

00:18:45.360 You could still be there to see them come or to see them go.

00:18:49.260 And I miss that.

00:18:51.160 It just added so much more meaning to travel.

00:18:55.180 It added so much more meaning to coming and going.

00:18:58.240 Because you saw others, you know, just to see somebody say goodbye to someone.

00:19:05.340 It's like, oh, wow, that's human interaction.

00:19:07.620 That's connection.

00:19:10.060 To see somebody give a kiss to somebody that they, you know, maybe they're not going to see them for, you know, a couple weeks or a couple months or who knows how long.

00:19:20.700 And in your mind, you process, oh, I wonder, I wonder if they, you know, if this is their first time, this ever, their first weekend that they ever hung out and it was great and now one of them's leaving.

00:19:31.900 Or if they've been together for years and one of them's leaving.

00:19:35.620 You get to see a kid get to the gate and run up and his uncle is there to give him a big hug.

00:19:41.400 And, you know, or the grandpa or the grandpa and grandma are there.

00:19:45.920 See him hug the baby and lift up the baby for the first time.

00:19:48.700 You get to see that and it just, you know, I think that's, to me, that's when something happened in America years ago when something changed a lot was right around that time.

00:19:59.800 And I feel like it was after 9-11 when things just got a lot stricter and a lot more serious.

00:20:08.980 And we started to take out some of the things that reminded us how human we are.

00:20:15.480 But that's one thing I loved about Australia was seeing that.

00:20:19.740 That's one of the, honestly, my favorite things about the country was just seeing that.

00:20:23.740 Getting to see that at the air, at the airports when we get in and when we leave.

00:20:28.000 It was just, I don't know.

00:20:31.960 I liked it.

00:20:32.860 I liked, you know, I liked just seeing, I liked seeing humans be able to, I don't know, just express some of their feelings and have a space to do that.

00:20:46.000 Or just, I don't know, I just, it reminded me that I was human a little bit more.

00:20:49.880 It reminded me that I was amongst others.

00:20:51.660 Just seeing connection and seeing, it just, I don't know.

00:20:56.960 It did, it was something different.

00:20:58.160 It was something that I wasn't used to.

00:21:00.380 You know, I saw some exotic animals.

00:21:02.640 But one of the most exotic things I saw was people displaying human interaction in public at the airport flight gates.

00:21:11.640 What else was my experience like?

00:21:16.960 Man, I just have so much going through my head right now.

00:21:20.080 Like, I can't even tell you just being in this place and just a lot, a lot of cool stuff.

00:21:25.620 But thank you so much to everybody, you know, went to Perth.

00:21:29.740 I don't know if you've been to Perth or not in Australia, but it's basically, it's like somebody, you know, it's, it almost looked like it went out of business and then they just restarted it back up.

00:21:39.580 But, um, and we went to Brisbane, uh, where else?

00:21:47.800 Oh, we went to Adelaide.

00:21:49.100 That was wild.

00:21:50.020 It was like kind of a sleepy town.

00:21:51.680 I couldn't tell what place was kind of like what.

00:21:54.040 Like if, okay, if this city's more like Chicago or if this city's more like New York or if this city's more like Tampa, um, I think I needed more time.

00:22:03.180 People think a lot of times that the trip when you're touring, doing a shows that it's like, uh, vacation.

00:22:12.140 It's not, it's work.

00:22:15.320 You know, it's a lot of come and go.

00:22:17.980 And I just want to thank so many nice people reached out and brought gifts.

00:22:21.940 There's still a couple of gifts that people brought me to the last show that I haven't even opened up yet.

00:22:25.780 Um, some nice t-shirts and MMA guys came and one of them had a move called the hard scarf that, uh, you know, this guy in my neighborhood used to put people in.

00:22:37.840 Somebody wore a RIP Billy Conforto shirt.

00:22:40.640 It was, it was next level, man.

00:22:44.940 It was next level.

00:22:46.320 I just can't believe it.

00:22:47.380 I'm like, how did all these people know that I was coming?

00:22:53.180 I mean, I mean, I know they know because like the podcast and because of social media, but it just doesn't, it didn't, didn't add up really into my head like that this many people would, would be here.

00:23:03.780 And so I just want to say thank you.

00:23:05.360 And we did it.

00:23:06.500 You know, we did it.

00:23:07.720 You know, that's one thing I'm realizing when I walk on that stage and that there's people out there is that we did this.

00:23:14.640 And that if you are somebody who is wondering if you can do something that you want to do, I'm not like preaching at you or anything, but, but honestly, man, I've doubted myself every, every step along the way I've doubted myself.

00:23:33.020 And, and, and I still doubt myself, but I've, but I have not, but I, but I'm, but I'm doing it, but I'm not, but I haven't really stopped my feet from moving forward.

00:23:53.560 You know, and I'm not telling you that to preach at you or anything.

00:23:58.180 I just, I'm just trying to find a way to share some of my experience in case there's somebody like me, you know, who wonders, well, what do I do?

00:24:08.100 You know, if I want to do, you know, chase a dream or do this or do that.

00:24:13.040 And there's a little voice inside of you, whatever it is that will tell you the right thing to do next, or it'll, it'll convince you from time to time.

00:24:26.420 And sometimes that little voice might even be the voice of somebody outside of you that catches your frequency and, and, uh, yeah, just, I don't know.

00:24:39.080 I'm saying, I think I'm saying I'm kind of preachy.

00:24:42.140 I'll tell you this though.

00:24:43.580 So a couple of weeks ago, this company free fly apparel sent me some snazzy shirts and I mean snazzy like if you want to look nice, but not like, you know, you're going to the prom or you're going to like, you know, they're opening up a new power plant in your town and that, and it's cut and they're doing a ribbon cutting.

00:25:10.320 Like, dude, look, look, you got a power plant.

00:25:14.480 I don't, you know, I'll stay home.

00:25:16.560 Sound like somebody might get electrocuted, but free fly can have you looking however you want to look.

00:25:23.900 The clothes are made from butter, soft bamboo.

00:25:27.180 And look, I got to say, you think bamboo, you like, you know, we've all, we've all heard the story about the boy in my neighborhood growing up whose dad made him a, um, a wooden shirt.

00:25:38.500 But when you're wearing that butter, soft bamboo, you ain't really shocked if a, uh, if a koala or a panda rolls up and tries to chew on your shirt sleeve.

00:25:51.900 It's surprisingly comfortable.

00:25:54.640 In fact, it makes you feel like you're wrapping yourself in a little bit of Costa Rica or something exotic, but so soft.

00:26:00.960 You're like, is this a bamboo?

00:26:03.340 Is this shampoo?

00:26:04.660 This is comfortable.

00:26:05.520 The team behind free fly are a wife and husband duo of Nike marketers and her Montana fishing guide brother.

00:26:14.740 They identified a big problem.

00:26:16.700 Outdoor clothing was too complicated and too uncomfortable.

00:26:20.680 Together, they quit their jobs and made it their mission to create the most comfortable shirt imaginable.

00:26:25.840 Free flies.

00:26:26.520 Bamboo clothing has natural UPF sun protection, wicks away moisture and won't hold odor.

00:26:33.240 That's huge.

00:26:34.280 If you're running them under, you know, you got, if your underarms is like little tall, it's little septic tanks, then you got to tighten them up and you don't want to be carrying that dirty, dirty on you.

00:26:45.160 The clothes fit well and come in natural color palette with subtle branding.

00:26:51.300 And that is, uh, that's very accurate.

00:26:53.540 I got this beautiful kind of blue one, this long sleeve.

00:26:56.540 Perfect.

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00:27:32.560 Oh, let's take a call.

00:27:36.380 Actually, you know what?

00:27:36.940 I want to talk about this.

00:27:37.940 I was, man, on this past tour, you know, I was out of town for three weeks.

00:27:41.980 And I want to thank you guys for putting up with everything while we were out of the studio.

00:27:46.520 And, um, you know, it's, uh, one thing I noticed was I was, I was, you know, they had a tour manager.

00:27:55.680 A tour manager.

00:27:56.980 So somebody like kind of meets you along the tour and takes you, you know, like takes you from one city to the next and just make sure you kind of know what's going on in each place, especially since it's international.

00:28:09.140 And I realized like, I found myself getting real antsy with the, with the tour management group and they were great.

00:28:17.280 I just noticed about myself, like, man, I would get real short with them.

00:28:22.480 When I'd see them in the morning, I would be like, I would be like, just like a, just kind of like a cranky kid.

00:28:29.200 And I was thinking like, what the fuck is going on, man?

00:28:32.220 Like, I don't behave this way.

00:28:33.560 What is going on?

00:28:36.120 Uh, and I started to realize it took me, man.

00:28:39.400 It took me probably the first four cities.

00:28:42.540 I think they didn't really know what, like by the end of the day, I would be nicer.

00:28:46.780 But in the beginning, I was just so, like, I was just short with people.

00:28:50.960 I wouldn't look them in the eyes.

00:28:52.960 Um, and I wasn't like, I was being mean.

00:28:57.580 I was being mean.

00:28:58.740 Right.

00:28:59.320 But I wasn't doing it on purpose.

00:29:00.600 I was just uncomfortable.

00:29:02.960 I just didn't feel good.

00:29:04.320 And I knew that I was not feeling good.

00:29:06.100 I just didn't know what to do.

00:29:09.800 And I started to realize that I don't like, I don't like it when people have to help me.

00:29:21.140 Like, I don't like getting help from other people.

00:29:24.140 You know, I want to do stuff on my own.

00:29:27.400 Like, I can do it.

00:29:28.580 That's what I think to myself.

00:29:29.660 I can, I don't need help.

00:29:30.880 I can do this.

00:29:32.500 You know, I don't want anybody to help me.

00:29:35.740 You know, I don't need anybody.

00:29:39.040 I can do it better.

00:29:40.380 Or I can do, I can do it.

00:29:42.100 And, and I'm just kind of talking about that because, you know, I needed help.

00:29:49.260 I just didn't want to admit it.

00:29:50.820 I didn't want to, I don't know.

00:29:55.080 I was just, I just always been so used to doing things for myself that, that I didn't want to say that I couldn't do them for myself or that I wanted to even let somebody else have the opportunity to help me.

00:30:11.680 I didn't want anybody to have the opportunity to help me.

00:30:14.920 Because if you help me, then somehow that's like a weakness of mine.

00:30:20.400 If you help me, then it shows me that, that I'm able, that I'm capable of like connecting, then I'm at a weakness.

00:30:33.000 Because, I'm trying to get these words right.

00:30:36.980 If I let you help me, why don't I like people helping me?

00:30:42.580 Because I can do it myself.

00:30:48.180 And if you realize that I, and if I let you see that I can't do it myself, or if I let you help me, then it, I'm just trying to get these, I'm trying to get my feelings hooked.

00:31:03.000 To my words.

00:31:06.120 Sorry if this is kind of all over the place, but this is just something that's really been, really, really hit me this on this trip because I never had this type of experience.

00:31:14.220 You know, I just didn't want to look people in the eyes.

00:31:16.040 I didn't want to, like if I needed, like if you were helping me, I didn't want you to see, see the look in my eyes that, that showed that I knew you were helping me.

00:31:30.400 I was keeping that to myself.

00:31:33.680 Like I just didn't want, I didn't want to be someone who needs help because to me it was like a weakness.

00:31:41.580 You know, it was like, it gave you like an ability to connect with me that I just wasn't ready for.

00:31:50.720 You know, I'm fine with being friends.

00:31:54.600 I'm fine with, you know, joking around.

00:31:57.520 I'm fine with having fun.

00:31:58.420 But when it came to a moment where I needed you because you knew something that I didn't or that you, when it came to a moment where I was going to show you that I couldn't help myself or that that was a moment I just couldn't do.

00:32:20.660 I couldn't do those moments where it looked like I couldn't fend for myself.

00:32:27.720 I don't know.

00:32:28.340 I know some of that's all over the place and I'm sorry, but I was really just trying to figure it out.

00:32:31.760 I just don't like that.

00:32:33.920 You know, I like to be able to do things.

00:32:35.920 I'm just so used to it.

00:32:37.720 Like I think at a level even inside of me in the fabric of me, like in the stitching of my core.

00:32:44.000 You know, I think I just realized at a certain point in my life, you know, at a youthful point that or something or even when I was a zygote that I'm going to have to do this myself.

00:32:58.140 And that's what I'm going to do.

00:33:01.540 And so I'm never not going to do that.

00:33:03.880 It's almost like I made a deal with myself.

00:33:05.520 Like I'm never not going to do this myself.

00:33:07.300 And so now that the touring gets a little different and people are on board and people are helping, it's like it's really tough for me to let somebody help me.

00:33:19.800 That's one thing I've kind of realized.

00:33:21.000 It's really, really tough for me to let somebody help me.

00:33:24.240 And I almost have an adverse reaction to it.

00:33:27.680 Because if I show you that I need help from you, then that means that it gives you an ability to connect with me.

00:33:42.660 And that's scary to me, I think.

00:33:45.340 So that's why I think, I don't know, some of this stuff I need to do a little bit of work on and think about.

00:33:49.860 But it was just something that was heavily on my mind, so I wanted to share it with you guys.

00:33:53.380 But thank you so much to everybody in Australia that came out.

00:33:57.600 I'm happy to be back home.

00:34:00.680 I have some jet lag.

00:34:02.460 I just literally about seven minutes ago just got hit by jet lag pretty heavy.

00:34:06.340 Which is a tough thing to try and explain how you're feeling at the same time.

00:34:13.960 And I'm sorry for taking you guys down that wormhole, but I just don't.

00:34:17.440 I wish I knew exactly what I was thinking more.

00:34:19.440 But man, I just, it really, it really hurts me somewhere to admit that I need help.

00:34:28.920 Or to admit that I, that I'm not doing something by myself.

00:34:34.020 You know, it just makes me feel scared.

00:34:40.120 It's a scary thing.

00:34:41.600 And I didn't know that until I was on this experience.

00:34:44.380 And I'm in another country and, you know, there's a group of people that are helping out and they're helping.

00:34:48.320 And I'm just, oh, I was so upset and I couldn't figure out why.

00:34:53.120 And I wasn't upset with the audience or like the shows or I didn't, there wasn't anything like that.

00:34:57.700 It was all just, you know, behind the scenes.

00:35:01.340 And so I'm grateful that the tour manager and their company like put up with me for a couple days while I figured it out.

00:35:08.380 And then I started going to some different 12-step meetings and it helped me kind of calm down and get into a better space.

00:35:13.240 But anyway, enough about that, man.

00:35:18.840 I want to tell you a couple of calls that came in.

00:35:21.100 Here we go.

00:35:22.620 Yo, Theo, man.

00:35:23.880 This is Christian calling from Ohio.

00:35:26.920 What's up, Christian?

00:35:28.660 Over there in Ohio.

00:35:31.040 Thank you for calling, man.

00:35:32.560 Onward.

00:35:32.820 I am 40 years old and you said something not that long ago.

00:35:38.960 You said something like, I'm afraid to let myself grow up with the things, without the things I always wanted because they're not there.

00:35:47.260 And it made me think a lot.

00:35:50.060 And I was like, wow.

00:35:50.880 There's a lot of things that I thought I would have by the time I'm 40 or things that I thought I would do.

00:35:58.100 And trying to end up with something that was a bucket list item, but I never really thought, I don't know, I thought it was something I would have to work a long time to be able to do one time.

00:36:09.220 And, yeah, man, I just wanted to give it a shot.

00:36:12.960 So, tonight, we've got about five minutes.

00:36:17.600 And, yeah, man, I'm going to give it a go.

00:36:19.740 So, I want to thank you for the inspiration and the laughs and all that.

00:36:24.980 So, yeah.

00:36:26.340 Word, man.

00:36:26.980 Well, thank you for calling in with that, dude.

00:36:28.400 Good luck with that first time.

00:36:31.060 Wow.

00:36:33.160 Yeah, look, I think sometimes it's like, you know, we create these stories.

00:36:37.900 We have these stories that get built into us that we can't do certain things.

00:36:42.960 You know, I was just talking with a friend of mine yesterday.

00:36:47.120 You know, she's going on a vacation and she just spent, you know, like $5,000 to go on a vacation, which is a big sum of money.

00:36:55.280 And it's a vacation, you know.

00:36:57.840 And she said, you know, I just, I never knew if I could.

00:37:00.860 She's like, as I'm spending the money, she's like, something felt wrong about it.

00:37:05.940 And she's like, it felt wrong because I was spending the money on something that I wanted to do for myself.

00:37:10.780 And not spending the money on just some, like, oh, you have to save for this or you have to save for that or you have to have this savings plan.

00:37:21.500 Or it was like, it was like against the norm.

00:37:24.740 It was just me spending money on something that I wanted for myself.

00:37:27.580 Even a good experience like travel.

00:37:31.840 Like, you can't just up and travel for a month.

00:37:35.880 And she's like, yes, I can.

00:37:38.780 She's like, and as I did it, it just felt so wrong.

00:37:41.200 But at the same time, it just felt so kind of perfect.

00:37:43.420 Like, oh, this is what I'm supposed to do.

00:37:45.880 This is, I'm supposed to do things that I want to do in the world.

00:37:49.400 I'm supposed to do new experiences.

00:37:51.120 I'm not just supposed to save every dime and put it away in this shoebox or put it away for this and have safekeeping and never try the things I always wanted to try.

00:38:03.520 And it really hit me.

00:38:04.920 I was like, wow, that's so interesting.

00:38:07.100 Yeah, when you spend money on something that you kind of want sometimes,

00:38:10.200 especially like a thing like travel or a musical instrument or doing something that you've always wanted to do,

00:38:19.800 but that's out of the societal norm, it feels foreign almost to us.

00:38:26.880 Because sometimes we get built into this world where it's like, oh, this is the next thing.

00:38:31.560 Oh, you go to college, you go to college, then you go to college, then you get this, and then you get a job, and then you get another job.

00:38:37.640 And then it's like, well, what if we didn't do it that way?

00:38:43.960 What if one day I just said to my boss, hey, I'm going to go for a month and travel, which is what my friend is doing.

00:38:50.560 She said, I'm going to go for a month and travel, and then I bought the ticket, and next thing you know,

00:38:54.760 I feel like I'm wandering out into a whole different world of interaction with life than I have been previously

00:39:04.960 because I'm doing something that I want to do.

00:39:10.940 But yeah, like you said, it's like you think it can take, you know, you thought stand up was something you had to try,

00:39:14.960 you know, work at for a long time just to get up and even try.

00:39:18.460 Dude, I remember I drove across the causeway about 30 miles.

00:39:21.360 I've been upset my whole life that my dad was so old when I was born, and I've been making fun of him in my head

00:39:31.800 to make me feel okay about him being so old, and then I just stood up on stage and started telling jokes about it.

00:39:39.400 And so it was just, you know, and everybody has their own experience, but getting up and talking about something

00:39:47.860 that's just been running around in your head, you know, a lot of the work for trying stand up has already been done.

00:39:57.440 You've been alive.

00:40:00.060 That's the research.

00:40:01.260 The research for doing stand up and the practice is being alive.

00:40:06.720 Now, the repetition is something that takes, you know, time, but the ability for you to do it,

00:40:13.220 to have the gunpowder, that's already packed inside of you.

00:40:18.700 And the microphone, that's just the, that's the flint, and that's what's going to light it.

00:40:26.600 But let's hear the rest of your call.

00:40:27.940 Thank you for calling in, Christian.

00:40:29.120 Yeah, man, right.

00:40:30.940 I wanted to thank you and share the fact that I'm going to get up on stage later today

00:40:36.800 and either shit myself or make some people laugh, so.

00:40:39.780 Gang, brother, and I hope it went good.

00:40:41.980 Let's take another call here.

00:40:43.360 Here we go.

00:40:44.020 The hotline, as always, is 985-664-9503.

00:40:51.220 What's up, Theo?

00:40:52.700 You know, my name's Kate.

00:40:54.400 I've been seeing a girl for about a year and a half now.

00:40:57.240 What's up, Kate?

00:40:58.040 Kate, thank you for calling.

00:40:59.860 You've been seeing a girl for a year and a half.

00:41:02.380 That's a long time these days.

00:41:03.760 That's almost like a first marriage.

00:41:06.280 Homeward?

00:41:07.120 And we've been on and off, so we were never truly official,

00:41:11.260 and I guess maybe that's partially my fault, and I could admit that.

00:41:14.380 But basically what's happened here is about three weeks ago,

00:41:18.780 I finally asked this girl to be my girlfriend.

00:41:20.620 There you go, boy.

00:41:23.600 You sliding into that deal, deal, deal.

00:41:29.060 Oh, you want that?

00:41:30.140 Oh, would you be my boyfriend, my girlfriend?

00:41:35.440 Let's hear more.

00:41:36.620 And she said yes, which is awesome.

00:41:39.320 But my best friend let me know that he hooked up with this girl about a month and a half ago

00:41:47.720 when we weren't officially together.

00:41:49.200 So I'm dealing with this whirlwind of emotions, feeling mad, feeling sad, feeling betrayed,

00:41:58.340 and not really sure what to do.

00:42:00.760 And it does seem like it was a mistake that they both regret,

00:42:04.040 but I just feel hurt, man, and I'm trying to figure out how to move forward with this.

00:42:08.340 So if you have any advice, is the path to forgiveness the right way to go?

00:42:15.460 Gang, gang, you're the man.

00:42:17.600 Gang, gang, bro.

00:42:19.040 I'm barely a man.

00:42:20.980 By genetic coding only, man, the rest of me.

00:42:24.760 It's hit or miss some days, dude, because I can be a real badger.

00:42:29.760 You know, this makes me think, okay, when I was in school, when I was in high school,

00:42:36.460 I was in love with this girl, and she had been seeing some guy before me

00:42:41.060 that she lost her virginity to, right?

00:42:44.920 And you know what I'm saying?

00:42:47.700 Some girls, you know, they lose their virginity,

00:42:50.140 and then you come along and you take their West virginity.

00:42:54.320 And that's usually, you know, B-hole sex.

00:42:58.080 That's the B-hole deal is their West virginity.

00:43:01.780 But anyway, that was just kind of a joke.

00:43:05.200 But what I'm saying is this, man.

00:43:08.160 I never got over the fact that she had already hooked up with some other guy

00:43:13.380 before we got together.

00:43:14.720 I never got over it.

00:43:16.480 I always let it just fester on me.

00:43:19.320 And just this weird jealousy, it gave me a thing to be angry about.

00:43:24.520 And in the end, that shit was all about me, man.

00:43:26.840 You know, it had nothing to do with her.

00:43:28.520 This girl had just been living her life, you know.

00:43:30.760 And the guy that she'd hooked up with, I actually really liked that guy.

00:43:34.180 And he was a friend of mine.

00:43:35.420 And, you know, when you're young, it's hard to not be jealous.

00:43:39.420 But I would just say, fucking man, at least two people,

00:43:44.960 at least you know you're in the right ballpark.

00:43:49.060 Because if they've already hooked up, then you're really the missing link.

00:43:55.260 You know, it's like, oh, if you're friends with one of them

00:43:57.860 and you like the other one,

00:44:00.300 you know, I think you could probably get past it pretty quick.

00:44:04.080 Like, I would just, you know, it's really going to be super,

00:44:10.660 it's going to be, the move is to get past it.

00:44:14.300 It's going to be super macho of you.

00:44:16.880 And you don't even need to tell them you forgive them.

00:44:19.020 You've got to do it inside of yourself, I think.

00:44:22.480 You know, that's what I wish I would have done.

00:44:25.360 Now, what I did, here's something else you could do.

00:44:28.180 What I did was hold it against the girl,

00:44:31.860 bring it up all the time when we were drunk,

00:44:34.340 fight about it, cry about it in the front yard,

00:44:38.660 cry about it in the backyard.

00:44:40.660 You could go my route.

00:44:43.280 And you might not be rewarded.

00:44:45.140 I mean, it's a painful route to go.

00:44:48.860 You end up laying on your back out in the street

00:44:50.880 in the middle of the night,

00:44:52.460 smoking menthols, bro.

00:44:54.140 Smoking them fucking, uh,

00:44:56.300 a pack of Winston menthols, limited editions.

00:45:00.720 110s, dude.

00:45:01.320 You ever smoked a pack of 110 menthols, doc?

00:45:06.840 Come on, boy.

00:45:09.700 Dude, the thing so, the, uh,

00:45:11.500 the cherry so big on the end of those cigarettes,

00:45:13.760 damn mosquitoes show up for it.

00:45:15.780 That thing's wild.

00:45:18.780 So I would say, yeah, man,

00:45:20.360 I'd go that forgiveness route

00:45:21.680 and be that big dog.

00:45:23.980 Be the big dog.

00:45:25.160 You still got the best friend.

00:45:26.300 You still got the girl.

00:45:27.340 So they hooked up one time.

00:45:28.660 Oh, well.

00:45:30.840 You know,

00:45:32.080 do whatever you gotta do.

00:45:34.180 You know, and if you got to years later,

00:45:35.860 maybe if the guy, you know,

00:45:37.860 you know,

00:45:40.320 maybe years from now,

00:45:41.380 the guy, uh,

00:45:43.980 you know,

00:45:44.300 you have an opportunity.

00:45:45.400 Maybe he, you know,

00:45:46.320 maybe he breaks up with a girl

00:45:48.020 and you hook up with her

00:45:49.020 and then y'all are even

00:45:50.180 if you wanna, you know,

00:45:51.360 do it Games of Thrones style.

00:45:53.060 But otherwise,

00:45:53.740 I'd just let it ride, man.

00:45:55.780 Uh, you know,

00:45:56.240 you just don't wanna miss out

00:45:57.060 on the opportunity

00:45:57.680 for a good relationship with a girl

00:45:59.160 because of some jealousy.

00:46:00.280 Uh, especially if you're,

00:46:04.060 if your dude isn't like,

00:46:05.880 you know,

00:46:06.340 still trying to holler at her.

00:46:07.820 I think that's the move.

00:46:08.820 But also, bro,

00:46:09.900 fuck do I know, son.

00:46:11.600 But gang, man,

00:46:12.560 be good to yourself.

00:46:14.060 You know what I was thinking

00:46:15.320 was this, man.

00:46:16.020 I'd love to know a lot of guys,

00:46:18.060 you know,

00:46:18.400 we, we did this a couple years ago.

00:46:20.960 A lot of girls

00:46:22.380 or guys,

00:46:24.240 if you wanna hit the hotline with this,

00:46:26.380 we can put some of these calls in.

00:46:27.960 Um, the first time

00:46:31.000 you touch somebody's crotch,

00:46:32.680 you know,

00:46:33.060 of the opposite sex.

00:46:35.940 Or it could also even be

00:46:37.280 your own crotch,

00:46:38.580 that OC.

00:46:40.220 The first time,

00:46:41.520 you know,

00:46:41.760 we had a woman

00:46:42.380 a couple years ago,

00:46:43.380 she called in

00:46:44.360 and the first time

00:46:45.660 a guy touched her little,

00:46:47.240 you know,

00:46:48.780 that little, uh,

00:46:51.460 you know what I'm talking about,

00:46:52.760 that little, uh,

00:46:53.660 Vietnamese hot pocket,

00:46:55.320 you feel me?

00:46:56.280 That Vagino.

00:46:57.960 Was in a refrigerator box

00:46:59.700 in an empty refrigerator box

00:47:01.300 out back in the garage.

00:47:02.800 And everybody has a secret,

00:47:04.520 a sexy little story like that.

00:47:06.860 You know,

00:47:07.460 you snuggled up

00:47:08.220 in a refrigerator box

00:47:09.320 with a young lover

00:47:10.360 and they touch your crotch

00:47:12.340 for the first time.

00:47:14.300 Cause dude,

00:47:15.140 I remember when I was young,

00:47:16.860 bruh.

00:47:18.000 My crotch was like

00:47:19.320 the center of the universe,

00:47:21.320 boy.

00:47:21.700 I mean,

00:47:25.100 they would have,

00:47:25.580 uh,

00:47:25.880 uh,

00:47:26.480 a falcon would come

00:47:28.020 and land on my crotch

00:47:29.060 at night

00:47:29.640 and look out

00:47:31.400 over the lands,

00:47:32.440 you know.

00:47:33.920 Your crotch

00:47:34.820 was the only thing.

00:47:35.760 Remember during, uh,

00:47:36.780 perpity, bruh,

00:47:37.460 your crotch was the,

00:47:38.620 your crotch was,

00:47:40.240 uh,

00:47:41.000 the nucleus

00:47:41.920 of the universe.

00:47:45.680 You'd have people,

00:47:46.680 you know,

00:47:47.080 you'd have people lining up

00:47:48.240 outside of your crotch

00:47:49.260 looking for,

00:47:49.960 you know,

00:47:50.400 bread or milk and bread.

00:47:52.880 Your crotch was everything.

00:47:54.980 All your,

00:47:55.760 you know,

00:47:56.640 if a fly went by your crotch,

00:47:58.920 you freaking shuddered

00:47:59.880 a little bit.

00:48:00.420 It just,

00:48:00.980 you had so much energy.

00:48:02.280 All your hormones

00:48:03.220 was crowded up

00:48:04.660 in your crotch.

00:48:05.360 Like there was,

00:48:06.120 you know,

00:48:06.420 like 30 people

00:48:07.320 stuck in a fucking church van

00:48:08.900 or something.

00:48:10.580 The energy,

00:48:11.420 remember that?

00:48:12.560 So hit the hotline,

00:48:13.600 985-664-9503.

00:48:16.320 We'll put some of the,

00:48:17.100 those, uh,

00:48:17.700 those FTCS's on,

00:48:19.280 those first time crotch stories

00:48:20.800 on the next episode.

00:48:22.240 And I don't do that

00:48:23.000 to be gross.

00:48:24.200 And I don't want you

00:48:24.740 to leave a gross message,

00:48:26.380 please.

00:48:27.320 But I do want you

00:48:28.420 to just tell me

00:48:29.120 about the feelings,

00:48:30.500 the experience you had.

00:48:32.760 The first time,

00:48:33.760 where was it?

00:48:35.120 You know,

00:48:35.440 I know a buddy of mine,

00:48:36.780 the pizza delivery guy

00:48:38.140 had been drinking

00:48:38.780 and he went off the road,

00:48:40.020 crashed his car.

00:48:41.420 And then he,

00:48:42.380 he was in a,

00:48:43.380 um,

00:48:43.740 he had a little dementia

00:48:44.700 and he walked away

00:48:45.420 from the pizza vehicle.

00:48:46.900 And my buddy and his girl,

00:48:48.360 they snuck up in there

00:48:49.200 on a second date

00:48:50.220 and touched each,

00:48:51.420 and touched each other's junk

00:48:53.300 out there off of,

00:48:54.740 uh,

00:48:54.980 Lee Road.

00:48:56.380 So everybody has a neat story.

00:48:58.520 Imagine that.

00:48:59.260 The first time

00:49:00.000 you're getting a handful

00:49:00.960 of that,

00:49:01.580 of that Judy Judy

00:49:03.380 and somebody,

00:49:05.060 and they got a,

00:49:05.600 you know,

00:49:06.440 a faint smell

00:49:07.300 of fucking pepperoni

00:49:08.520 in the air.

00:49:10.780 I mean,

00:49:11.540 Jesus Christ,

00:49:12.640 bro.

00:49:13.480 Is it Christmas?

00:49:14.440 It should be.

00:49:15.400 Come on.

00:49:17.860 Come on.

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00:53:24.260 and you

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00:53:29.080 FTCS,

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00:53:30.160 that first

00:53:30.500 time crotch

00:53:31.460 story.

00:53:32.840 Onward.

00:53:33.820 Hey,

00:53:34.200 man.

00:53:36.100 Love your

00:53:36.720 podcast,

00:53:37.520 CEO.

00:53:37.900 Love what

00:53:38.320 you do.

00:53:39.160 Thank you,

00:53:39.840 brother,

00:53:40.260 and I

00:53:40.540 appreciate you

00:53:41.080 calling in

00:53:41.680 today,

00:53:42.100 man,

00:53:42.440 and I'm

00:53:42.840 almost happy

00:53:43.380 early fathers

00:53:44.040 down there

00:53:44.340 that's coming

00:53:44.760 up.

00:53:45.000 I'm not

00:53:45.200 sure if

00:53:45.500 you're a

00:53:45.720 father,

00:53:46.140 but you

00:53:47.260 could be.

00:53:48.000 I think

00:53:48.460 you're just

00:53:49.460 the greatest

00:53:49.980 storyteller

00:53:51.460 storyteller

00:53:51.820 of this

00:53:52.660 style.

00:53:54.300 Well,

00:53:54.960 that's nice

00:53:55.620 of you to

00:53:55.880 say that,

00:53:56.320 man.

00:53:58.180 You know,

00:53:58.700 we don't do

00:53:59.060 much to keep

00:53:59.520 stories alive

00:54:00.260 anymore.

00:54:00.780 You know,

00:54:00.980 I feel like

00:54:01.320 they're dying.

00:54:03.000 You know,

00:54:03.320 I feel like

00:54:03.880 a lot of

00:54:04.300 people don't

00:54:04.660 care what

00:54:04.940 the story

00:54:05.440 is in

00:54:06.560 media these

00:54:07.980 days.

00:54:08.220 They just

00:54:08.640 want to

00:54:09.100 put out

00:54:10.740 something quick

00:54:11.420 and easy

00:54:11.860 and even

00:54:12.660 stories have

00:54:13.380 become click

00:54:14.020 bait.

00:54:15.280 And so I'm

00:54:15.860 just,

00:54:16.320 I feel very

00:54:17.080 blessed to

00:54:17.620 have the gift

00:54:18.080 to even tell

00:54:18.720 a story.

00:54:19.240 But thank

00:54:21.660 you for the

00:54:22.040 nice words.

00:54:22.660 Onward.

00:54:23.280 But anyway,

00:54:24.020 my name's

00:54:25.260 Dylan.

00:54:25.760 I'm from

00:54:26.460 Florence,

00:54:27.220 Alabama.

00:54:28.780 I work for

00:54:29.520 the railroad

00:54:29.960 and a lot

00:54:31.020 of times,

00:54:31.520 I'm a conductor,

00:54:32.560 so a lot

00:54:32.940 of times we

00:54:33.440 get on the

00:54:33.780 train,

00:54:34.280 you know,

00:54:34.560 we go to

00:54:35.140 different places

00:54:35.840 and stuff

00:54:36.240 like that.

00:54:37.460 One of the

00:54:38.060 places we

00:54:38.580 go is

00:54:39.060 Memphis,

00:54:39.880 Tennessee,

00:54:40.500 or Memphis,

00:54:41.780 as some

00:54:42.160 people would

00:54:42.960 call it,

00:54:43.400 you know.

00:54:44.320 Oh yeah,

00:54:44.720 and that's

00:54:45.040 Memphis,

00:54:45.540 and they

00:54:45.740 used to

00:54:46.000 have,

00:54:46.380 if you

00:54:46.620 drove outside

00:54:47.140 of Memphis

00:54:47.600 about an

00:54:48.120 hour,

00:54:49.040 you could

00:54:49.360 go to

00:54:49.640 Graceland

00:54:50.160 too.

00:54:51.340 And they

00:54:51.800 had a man

00:54:52.380 out there

00:54:52.720 doing Graceland,

00:54:53.740 I guess,

00:54:55.320 you know,

00:54:55.700 he got upset

00:54:56.180 that Elvis

00:54:56.580 had done it

00:54:57.120 and he said,

00:54:57.840 well,

00:54:57.960 damn,

00:54:58.220 I'm going to

00:54:58.420 do my own.

00:54:59.380 And you go

00:54:59.760 there at

00:55:00.100 night and

00:55:00.460 me and two

00:55:01.000 of my

00:55:01.180 friends went

00:55:01.720 there one

00:55:02.200 night and

00:55:02.900 the man

00:55:05.600 wasn't there.

00:55:05.980 You could

00:55:06.160 knock on his

00:55:06.740 door and he

00:55:07.380 would take you

00:55:07.780 on a tour

00:55:08.280 museum of his

00:55:09.060 own house.

00:55:10.000 And it was

00:55:10.300 all Elvis

00:55:10.940 memorabilia.

00:55:11.920 It's called

00:55:12.200 Graceland

00:55:13.000 2.

00:55:14.800 And what

00:55:15.300 happened was

00:55:16.000 we went there

00:55:17.140 and my friend

00:55:17.520 got bit by a

00:55:18.280 damn huge

00:55:19.120 fucking dog

00:55:19.840 showed up

00:55:20.260 and bit my

00:55:20.780 friend.

00:55:21.540 And it was

00:55:21.980 a black dog

00:55:22.860 or black and

00:55:23.460 brown.

00:55:24.680 So I don't

00:55:25.120 know.

00:55:25.680 That is not,

00:55:26.220 I mean,

00:55:26.500 it's not,

00:55:27.700 it has nothing

00:55:28.240 to do with it,

00:55:28.840 but it,

00:55:30.380 but yeah,

00:55:31.920 we had to take

00:55:32.380 my buddy to the

00:55:32.900 hospital and all

00:55:33.660 kinds of shit.

00:55:34.520 So we never

00:55:35.560 got to go inside,

00:55:36.600 but anyway,

00:55:37.640 let's hear more.

00:55:38.960 It's a pretty

00:55:39.420 rough area there,

00:55:40.440 man.

00:55:40.940 you know,

00:55:42.600 it's one of

00:55:43.600 those places

00:55:44.040 where if you

00:55:45.200 don't know

00:55:45.580 where you are

00:55:46.180 in Memphis,

00:55:47.380 you might not

00:55:48.220 need to stop

00:55:48.760 at the gas

00:55:49.280 station.

00:55:50.460 Oh yeah,

00:55:51.040 if you don't

00:55:51.300 know where

00:55:51.540 you are in

00:55:51.900 Memphis,

00:55:52.140 you might be

00:55:52.500 dead.

00:55:53.160 I don't know

00:55:53.380 if you've

00:55:53.540 seen 48

00:55:54.200 Hours,

00:55:54.660 but a lot

00:55:55.180 of that,

00:55:55.540 the first

00:55:55.880 48,

00:55:56.740 sorry,

00:55:57.700 and it's

00:55:58.080 about people

00:55:58.860 in Memphis

00:55:59.280 shooting each

00:56:00.000 other.

00:56:00.780 And then the

00:56:01.420 cops kind of

00:56:02.000 don't know

00:56:02.380 who it is,

00:56:02.900 but they know

00:56:03.440 who it is.

00:56:04.820 Let's hear

00:56:05.320 more.

00:56:05.860 Some places

00:56:06.420 there,

00:56:06.800 they call

00:56:07.060 the gas

00:56:07.440 stations

00:56:07.760 murder

00:56:08.200 marts.

00:56:08.700 damn.

00:56:12.000 Well,

00:56:15.700 the barbecue

00:56:18.640 chips,

00:56:19.380 boy,

00:56:19.540 you better

00:56:19.680 get your

00:56:20.060 chips quick,

00:56:21.080 son.

00:56:21.360 But anyway,

00:56:25.160 I just want

00:56:25.580 to know

00:56:25.800 what you

00:56:26.100 think,

00:56:26.480 if you've

00:56:26.820 ever been

00:56:27.100 to Memphis,

00:56:28.060 what you

00:56:28.400 think about

00:56:29.040 the area

00:56:30.140 and stuff

00:56:32.580 like that.

00:56:33.100 But anyway,

00:56:35.140 gang gang,

00:56:36.080 brother.

00:56:36.940 Gang gang,

00:56:37.760 man.

00:56:38.480 I mean,

00:56:38.780 I think you

00:56:39.200 have a lot

00:56:39.780 of cities

00:56:40.240 in America

00:56:40.860 where some

00:56:42.080 of the crime

00:56:42.580 problem has

00:56:43.040 gotten a

00:56:43.440 little bit

00:56:43.740 out of hand

00:56:44.220 in specific

00:56:44.840 areas.

00:56:45.960 You know,

00:56:46.200 Memphis is

00:56:46.740 one of those

00:56:47.220 places where

00:56:47.780 you're getting

00:56:48.120 a lot of

00:56:48.560 crime.

00:56:49.500 You know,

00:56:49.760 places you

00:56:50.180 see a lot

00:56:50.600 of poverty,

00:56:51.940 you know,

00:56:52.240 you have a

00:56:52.660 lot of it.

00:56:53.860 Places where

00:56:54.440 you see also

00:56:54.940 a lot of

00:56:55.440 poverty in

00:56:55.920 black community,

00:56:56.880 you have a

00:56:57.140 lot of crime,

00:56:59.840 you know,

00:57:00.180 because over

00:57:01.080 time it's

00:57:01.700 been one of

00:57:02.040 the more

00:57:02.340 impoverished,

00:57:03.980 you know,

00:57:04.180 and also they

00:57:04.660 have a lot

00:57:05.140 of gangsters

00:57:06.800 and that

00:57:08.580 sort of thing.

00:57:11.380 You know,

00:57:11.940 you see a lot

00:57:12.560 of those guys

00:57:13.160 making guns

00:57:16.360 and murder

00:57:16.940 and that type

00:57:17.460 of stuff

00:57:17.760 look cool.

00:57:18.400 so I

00:57:20.420 think that's

00:57:21.180 something you

00:57:21.480 probably have

00:57:21.980 in Memphis

00:57:22.420 is a lot

00:57:23.000 of that.

00:57:24.380 You know,

00:57:25.280 in New

00:57:25.860 Orleans they

00:57:26.420 have it,

00:57:27.180 Chicago has

00:57:28.200 it,

00:57:29.620 New Orleans

00:57:31.500 it seems to

00:57:31.960 be getting

00:57:32.240 real bad

00:57:32.960 or just the

00:57:35.340 newspapers say

00:57:36.140 that it is.

00:57:36.740 If you go to

00:57:37.180 NOLA.com,

00:57:38.200 it's,

00:57:39.440 you know,

00:57:39.760 it just seems

00:57:40.220 to be something

00:57:40.860 that happens

00:57:41.380 in some of

00:57:41.780 these communities

00:57:42.420 where it's

00:57:42.860 hard to,

00:57:43.700 it's like,

00:57:44.280 how do you

00:57:44.640 eradicate this

00:57:45.420 problem?

00:57:45.800 I think

00:57:46.120 some of

00:57:46.460 it is

00:57:46.700 time.

00:57:48.320 You know,

00:57:48.500 as you

00:57:48.720 get,

00:57:50.000 you know,

00:57:50.420 as more

00:57:51.120 opportunity,

00:57:53.540 you have

00:57:53.820 more opportunity

00:57:54.600 in a lot

00:57:55.140 of different,

00:57:55.620 for different,

00:57:56.840 you know,

00:57:58.100 for different

00:57:58.560 ethnicities

00:57:59.320 in America,

00:58:01.160 more opportunity

00:58:01.820 to make

00:58:03.140 money than

00:58:03.680 you'll see,

00:58:04.880 you know,

00:58:05.900 more comfortable

00:58:07.660 lifestyles where

00:58:08.640 it won't be

00:58:09.120 as much,

00:58:09.980 you know,

00:58:10.360 as much crime

00:58:11.120 and as much

00:58:11.620 poverty.

00:58:12.140 But yeah,

00:58:16.220 I think

00:58:16.520 sometimes the

00:58:17.280 onus could

00:58:17.820 also be

00:58:18.300 taken on by

00:58:19.020 some of

00:58:19.340 these individual

00:58:19.900 communities.

00:58:21.260 It's like,

00:58:22.620 you know,

00:58:23.040 it would be,

00:58:24.580 you know,

00:58:24.900 it's like,

00:58:25.320 how do you

00:58:26.520 stop this

00:58:27.040 kind of stuff

00:58:27.520 within these

00:58:28.060 communities?

00:58:29.240 It's like,

00:58:29.720 I would love,

00:58:31.020 you know,

00:58:31.420 and maybe this

00:58:32.240 does happen,

00:58:32.880 I just don't

00:58:33.300 see it.

00:58:33.780 It's like,

00:58:34.400 how do you

00:58:34.840 stop,

00:58:35.220 like,

00:58:35.480 black-on-black

00:58:36.180 violence?

00:58:37.020 Like,

00:58:37.680 you know,

00:58:37.980 it's scary

00:58:38.680 sometimes to,

00:58:39.500 I remember

00:58:39.880 growing up in

00:58:40.840 Louisiana,

00:58:41.340 it would be

00:58:41.580 scary sometimes

00:58:42.160 to have a

00:58:42.680 black friend

00:58:43.420 because a

00:58:46.480 lot of

00:58:46.940 black guys

00:58:47.600 got murdered

00:58:48.140 and you

00:58:49.480 just would

00:58:49.820 read about

00:58:50.280 it every

00:58:50.520 day on

00:58:50.740 the newspaper,

00:58:51.420 see it on

00:58:51.760 the news.

00:58:53.080 Like,

00:58:53.480 damn,

00:58:53.900 man,

00:58:54.580 that's

00:58:54.820 scary.

00:58:56.660 You know,

00:58:57.100 it,

00:58:57.800 and then I

00:58:59.540 think it's

00:58:59.940 not,

00:59:00.420 it gives

00:59:01.020 a scary

00:59:01.540 vibe to,

00:59:03.500 you know,

00:59:03.820 I can't

00:59:04.320 even imagine

00:59:04.860 being a

00:59:05.440 young black

00:59:05.960 guy in

00:59:06.720 some of

00:59:07.060 those places

00:59:07.900 would be

00:59:10.860 scary.

00:59:12.260 And look,

00:59:12.920 I'm sure

00:59:13.260 it's all

00:59:13.580 types of

00:59:14.020 ethnicities

00:59:14.620 and it's

00:59:14.960 all types

00:59:15.400 of people

00:59:16.880 and stuff,

00:59:17.440 so I don't

00:59:17.840 even know

00:59:18.060 what I'm

00:59:18.240 talking about.

00:59:20.400 But I

00:59:20.860 think over

00:59:21.220 time,

00:59:21.680 some of

00:59:21.900 that will

00:59:22.140 go away.

00:59:23.500 But some

00:59:23.900 of it is,

00:59:24.400 it's just

00:59:24.680 like,

00:59:24.920 we gotta,

00:59:25.420 you know,

00:59:25.680 like,

00:59:25.920 if we continue

00:59:27.020 to champion

00:59:27.580 this sort

00:59:28.120 of like,

00:59:28.440 that it's

00:59:28.660 cool to be

00:59:29.140 like a

00:59:29.500 gangster

00:59:29.960 and that

00:59:30.340 kind of

00:59:30.640 shit,

00:59:31.400 then I

00:59:31.860 don't know

00:59:32.200 if that

00:59:32.500 kind of

00:59:32.740 stuff gets

00:59:33.160 helped.

00:59:33.540 you know,

00:59:36.000 some of

00:59:36.280 it's a

00:59:36.520 culture

00:59:36.840 thing,

00:59:37.380 some of

00:59:37.640 it's a

00:59:38.160 like,

00:59:38.480 what's

00:59:38.700 cool.

00:59:41.800 But then

00:59:42.320 also,

00:59:42.720 it might

00:59:42.880 be fun

00:59:43.260 as fuck

00:59:43.620 to be a

00:59:44.040 straight-up

00:59:44.400 gangster,

00:59:45.000 bruh.

00:59:45.740 Be running

00:59:46.260 around at

00:59:46.800 night playing,

00:59:47.880 you know,

00:59:49.020 you know,

00:59:49.340 all the

00:59:49.820 kids that,

00:59:51.060 you know,

00:59:51.420 who have two

00:59:52.060 parents and a

00:59:52.720 little bit of

00:59:53.080 cash,

00:59:53.440 they're inside

00:59:53.920 playing Modern

00:59:54.620 Warfare,

00:59:55.480 and the kids

00:59:56.240 who's out there

00:59:56.740 struggling,

00:59:57.360 those dudes

00:59:57.740 are out there

00:59:58.220 fucking running,

00:59:59.980 ducking over by

01:00:00.680 a murder

01:00:01.100 mark,

01:00:01.760 trying to

01:00:02.180 drink a

01:00:02.540 fucking

01:00:02.780 get through

01:00:03.280 all 32

01:00:04.100 ounces before

01:00:05.620 they go to

01:00:06.120 that big

01:00:06.600 gulp in the

01:00:07.140 sky.

01:00:08.700 The Lord,

01:00:09.420 before they

01:00:09.680 go see the

01:00:10.160 Lord,

01:00:10.540 it's the

01:00:10.820 freaking

01:00:11.020 murder

01:00:11.360 mark.

01:00:13.340 But all

01:00:14.040 aboard,

01:00:14.580 bruh,

01:00:15.120 you know,

01:00:15.560 I get that

01:00:16.060 bulletproof train,

01:00:17.320 son,

01:00:17.960 get that

01:00:18.420 bulletproof glass

01:00:19.360 on the front

01:00:19.780 of the train

01:00:20.300 all aboard.

01:00:21.940 But yeah,

01:00:22.360 Memphis,

01:00:22.820 fuck,

01:00:23.120 dude,

01:00:23.400 first 48 gives

01:00:24.320 a bad vibe to

01:00:25.180 that city in

01:00:25.780 the sense that

01:00:26.320 you just,

01:00:27.360 everybody's

01:00:27.980 shooting at

01:00:28.400 each other over

01:00:29.080 there,

01:00:29.320 it always seems

01:00:29.980 like.

01:00:30.680 But yeah,

01:00:33.400 I think sometimes

01:00:34.000 that's a

01:00:34.320 community problem

01:00:35.080 where it's

01:00:35.340 like,

01:00:35.540 how do you,

01:00:36.160 you know,

01:00:36.400 like,

01:00:37.160 you know,

01:00:37.940 it's everybody's

01:00:39.660 problem,

01:00:39.980 but it's also,

01:00:40.640 it's like within

01:00:41.200 certain communities

01:00:42.100 you have some

01:00:43.360 things that just

01:00:44.120 after a while

01:00:45.120 seems like,

01:00:45.500 are these things

01:00:45.880 going to go

01:00:46.300 away?

01:00:46.900 Or maybe they

01:00:47.560 are going

01:00:48.020 away and the

01:00:48.520 media just keeps

01:00:49.340 playing them up

01:00:50.080 and acting like

01:00:50.680 they aren't,

01:00:51.440 you know?

01:00:51.740 I don't know.

01:00:52.880 I wish I kind

01:00:53.480 of knew more

01:00:53.960 sometimes,

01:00:54.760 but,

01:00:56.620 you know,

01:00:57.660 the fuck do I

01:00:58.380 know,

01:00:58.660 man?

01:00:59.280 Let's hear

01:00:59.700 another call.

01:01:00.180 Here we go.

01:01:01.500 Hey,

01:01:01.800 Theo.

01:01:02.360 My name is

01:01:02.900 Kyle Locke.

01:01:03.740 I'm from

01:01:04.100 Seattle,

01:01:04.660 Washington.

01:01:05.500 What's up,

01:01:06.120 Kyle?

01:01:06.580 And I'll be

01:01:07.000 up there in

01:01:07.400 two weeks

01:01:07.800 up there in

01:01:08.280 Seattle.

01:01:09.860 Onward.

01:01:10.940 I just wanted

01:01:11.660 to talk to you

01:01:12.800 about Bali.

01:01:13.900 And me and

01:01:15.640 my fiance are

01:01:16.560 going there for

01:01:17.220 our honeymoon

01:01:17.760 and the end

01:01:18.940 of July.

01:01:20.220 Oh,

01:01:20.620 man,

01:01:20.860 that's awesome.

01:01:21.940 Well,

01:01:22.260 it's exciting

01:01:22.720 to hear that

01:01:23.100 you guys have

01:01:23.500 a honeymoon

01:01:23.940 coming up

01:01:24.740 and that you

01:01:25.100 guys have

01:01:25.540 each other.

01:01:26.720 You guys are

01:01:27.300 going to get

01:01:27.580 to be over

01:01:28.120 there and it's

01:01:28.720 really,

01:01:29.100 I think,

01:01:29.460 romantic.

01:01:30.080 That's one

01:01:30.420 thing I wish

01:01:30.920 I'd have had

01:01:31.380 when I'd have

01:01:31.780 been there

01:01:32.200 was just a

01:01:32.800 romance.

01:01:34.160 You know,

01:01:34.440 I didn't have

01:01:34.820 a romance.

01:01:35.440 They had a

01:01:35.740 guy that brought

01:01:36.320 breakfast over

01:01:37.060 to my place

01:01:37.700 in the morning,

01:01:38.380 a little guy,

01:01:38.960 you know,

01:01:39.160 a beautiful guy

01:01:40.000 named Dewa.

01:01:41.380 And he seemed

01:01:42.700 hella chill

01:01:43.420 and,

01:01:44.040 you know,

01:01:44.580 good with the

01:01:45.120 eggs,

01:01:45.640 good with the

01:01:46.100 omeletry.

01:01:47.120 And he'd bring

01:01:47.760 that through

01:01:48.200 and roll through

01:01:48.820 with that

01:01:49.180 aguacates,

01:01:50.160 you know,

01:01:50.620 them avos.

01:01:51.780 So,

01:01:52.340 gang.

01:01:53.600 Getting married

01:01:54.420 on July 4th.

01:01:56.520 So,

01:01:56.840 I just wanted

01:01:57.400 to see what

01:01:58.480 you thought

01:01:58.880 about Bali,

01:01:59.580 man.

01:01:59.880 I know I heard

01:02:00.480 a little bit

01:02:00.860 on your last

01:02:01.340 podcast that

01:02:02.940 you said that

01:02:03.400 it was like

01:02:03.900 really good

01:02:04.380 people and

01:02:05.180 those dogs

01:02:06.340 with the big

01:02:06.800 ass balls.

01:02:08.240 But,

01:02:08.440 yeah,

01:02:08.660 man,

01:02:09.380 if you could

01:02:09.860 let me know

01:02:10.900 what the

01:02:12.160 heck you

01:02:12.520 really liked

01:02:13.060 about it,

01:02:13.420 was it the

01:02:13.760 food or

01:02:14.260 the culture

01:02:15.120 or the

01:02:15.360 people,

01:02:16.800 I'm ready

01:02:17.540 to get

01:02:18.480 my travel

01:02:20.360 on.

01:02:21.060 So,

01:02:21.660 gang,

01:02:21.980 gang,

01:02:22.560 I love

01:02:22.960 what you're

01:02:23.260 doing over

01:02:23.700 there.

01:02:24.700 You're all

01:02:25.160 open about

01:02:25.700 your feelings

01:02:26.180 and things like

01:02:26.620 that and I

01:02:26.940 appreciate that.

01:02:28.620 Well,

01:02:29.180 thank you,

01:02:29.620 man.

01:02:29.740 I'm excited

01:02:30.140 for you guys.

01:02:30.800 You guys got

01:02:31.240 engaged,

01:02:32.440 you're getting

01:02:32.700 married in

01:02:34.340 July,

01:02:35.000 man,

01:02:35.200 you're heading

01:02:35.520 over there.

01:02:36.340 What a lot,

01:02:36.800 what a great,

01:02:37.580 I mean,

01:02:37.800 this is just

01:02:38.120 going to be

01:02:38.400 probably one of

01:02:38.940 the best summers

01:02:39.440 of your life,

01:02:40.060 you know,

01:02:40.340 or not bad,

01:02:41.160 I mean,

01:02:41.400 it will be a

01:02:41.840 great summer,

01:02:43.220 you know,

01:02:43.480 it will be like

01:02:43.940 an amazing

01:02:44.500 summer,

01:02:44.900 it will be a

01:02:45.260 special summer,

01:02:46.140 that's what I

01:02:46.600 mean.

01:02:47.900 You know,

01:02:48.360 it will be a

01:02:48.780 special summer,

01:02:49.640 it's summertime,

01:02:50.680 man,

01:02:50.960 anything could

01:02:51.500 happen in the

01:02:52.080 summer,

01:02:52.600 the sun gets

01:02:53.280 hot,

01:02:55.020 the sun puts

01:02:55.640 on sunglasses,

01:02:56.820 that's when you

01:02:57.400 know the

01:02:58.640 parties start.

01:03:00.760 Girls,

01:03:01.220 you'll see a

01:03:01.660 girl,

01:03:02.120 you know,

01:03:02.320 maybe she didn't

01:03:02.820 even have any

01:03:03.440 breasts before,

01:03:04.300 now she got a

01:03:05.000 little bit of

01:03:05.480 breasts,

01:03:05.800 maybe your

01:03:06.200 buddy even

01:03:06.680 shows up with

01:03:07.380 a couple of

01:03:07.920 freaking,

01:03:09.060 couple of

01:03:09.720 B. Coops,

01:03:10.540 boy on them,

01:03:11.180 you know what

01:03:11.440 I'm saying?

01:03:13.080 Old breasty

01:03:13.900 Jeff rolls up,

01:03:15.060 you're like,

01:03:15.480 damn,

01:03:17.200 Jeff got them

01:03:18.220 milky front

01:03:19.060 pieces,

01:03:20.120 and anything

01:03:21.080 can happen,

01:03:21.800 it's summertime,

01:03:22.800 sandcastles,

01:03:25.000 you know,

01:03:25.580 somebody hides a

01:03:26.600 bottle of

01:03:27.100 fucking,

01:03:27.480 you know,

01:03:29.600 raspberry schnapps

01:03:31.180 out there in a

01:03:31.900 fucking sand

01:03:32.620 dune,

01:03:33.480 and you guys

01:03:34.040 getting liquored

01:03:34.760 up,

01:03:35.040 and you

01:03:35.280 out there

01:03:35.580 talking about

01:03:36.000 witchcraft

01:03:36.700 and touching

01:03:37.220 each other's

01:03:37.780 junk over

01:03:38.360 there,

01:03:39.060 over there

01:03:39.480 in the

01:03:39.740 salt water

01:03:40.260 off of

01:03:40.780 Perdido Bay,

01:03:43.080 anything can

01:03:44.040 happen,

01:03:45.600 you know,

01:03:45.900 you might be

01:03:46.400 out there,

01:03:46.920 you might,

01:03:48.000 they might have

01:03:48.660 a girl who

01:03:49.180 puts her mouth

01:03:49.780 on the ground

01:03:50.380 and suck a

01:03:51.000 crustacean right

01:03:51.880 out,

01:03:52.120 one of them

01:03:52.480 ditch crawfish

01:03:53.360 right out the

01:03:53.960 damn ditch

01:03:55.660 bank,

01:03:56.700 and who knew

01:03:57.700 that would get

01:03:58.260 you erect,

01:03:59.380 just watching

01:04:00.460 that,

01:04:00.820 watching a

01:04:01.320 girl,

01:04:02.260 you know,

01:04:03.960 just face

01:04:04.720 take a

01:04:05.160 crustacean,

01:04:06.560 you know,

01:04:06.800 watching a

01:04:07.200 girl just

01:04:07.700 face take a

01:04:08.940 damn shrimp

01:04:09.620 right out of

01:04:10.060 the earth

01:04:10.980 with her

01:04:12.280 lung power,

01:04:13.020 it's beautiful,

01:04:13.680 I mean,

01:04:13.820 anything could

01:04:14.280 happen,

01:04:14.960 it's summer,

01:04:16.100 summer solstice,

01:04:17.320 summer,

01:04:18.180 summer slam,

01:04:22.400 dude,

01:04:22.780 wrestlers are

01:04:23.320 excited,

01:04:23.780 they're fucking

01:04:24.120 slamming each

01:04:25.060 other,

01:04:26.400 I mean,

01:04:26.920 it's summertime

01:04:27.540 and anything

01:04:28.200 can happen,

01:04:28.940 man,

01:04:29.120 but I'm glad

01:04:29.620 you guys are

01:04:30.140 getting that

01:04:30.560 marriage,

01:04:30.980 you're gonna

01:04:31.140 be over

01:04:31.440 in Bali,

01:04:32.500 I recommend

01:04:33.580 it,

01:04:34.600 I recommend

01:04:35.520 you stay

01:04:36.160 in Canggu

01:04:36.920 or you get

01:04:37.560 even more

01:04:38.120 rural than

01:04:38.700 Canggu,

01:04:39.820 that's where

01:04:40.180 I was,

01:04:40.780 Seminyak seems

01:04:41.520 a little too

01:04:42.460 much going

01:04:43.980 on,

01:04:44.940 you can get

01:04:45.480 out into,

01:04:46.380 if you really

01:04:46.780 wanna be by

01:04:47.240 the beach,

01:04:47.740 just find a

01:04:48.200 more rural

01:04:48.780 place,

01:04:50.380 I think as

01:04:50.880 long as you

01:04:51.280 get like a

01:04:51.780 little villa

01:04:52.300 or something,

01:04:53.640 the more

01:04:54.240 rural the

01:04:54.760 better,

01:04:55.880 but the

01:04:56.240 people are

01:04:56.660 so kind,

01:04:57.540 you're gonna

01:04:57.720 really be able

01:04:58.420 to relax,

01:04:59.980 you know,

01:05:00.240 I would try

01:05:00.640 to keep my

01:05:01.180 phone off

01:05:01.620 as much

01:05:01.940 as possible

01:05:02.620 and just

01:05:03.600 do your

01:05:04.000 best to

01:05:04.600 spend time

01:05:05.740 together,

01:05:06.200 I think it

01:05:06.620 sounds like

01:05:07.080 you guys are

01:05:08.400 really gonna

01:05:08.800 knock it out

01:05:09.300 of the park,

01:05:10.560 you know,

01:05:10.800 you could rent

01:05:11.280 scooters,

01:05:11.780 but I also

01:05:12.220 enjoy just

01:05:12.880 getting,

01:05:13.380 you know,

01:05:13.700 a little

01:05:14.020 scooter and

01:05:14.580 getting on

01:05:14.940 somebody's back

01:05:15.720 and holding

01:05:16.160 on to somebody

01:05:16.740 you don't know,

01:05:17.580 taking a chance,

01:05:19.420 you know,

01:05:19.660 it's the closest

01:05:20.120 I've been to a

01:05:20.820 successful relationship

01:05:21.780 really was

01:05:22.440 jumping on the

01:05:23.560 back of a

01:05:24.040 scooter and

01:05:24.580 I didn't even know

01:05:25.260 if it was a man

01:05:25.820 or woman

01:05:26.160 in the

01:05:26.420 helmet and

01:05:27.380 just,

01:05:28.200 you know,

01:05:28.960 and just

01:05:29.340 riding with

01:05:29.960 them,

01:05:30.460 taking a

01:05:30.860 chance,

01:05:31.360 man,

01:05:32.700 so,

01:05:34.080 but yeah,

01:05:34.700 fresh fruit,

01:05:37.060 you know,

01:05:37.600 just drink

01:05:38.040 bottled water,

01:05:38.860 you know,

01:05:39.160 that drill,

01:05:39.820 yeah,

01:05:43.540 I'm trying to

01:05:43.980 think of

01:05:44.240 anything else,

01:05:45.340 like,

01:05:46.060 I didn't do,

01:05:46.740 I don't do a

01:05:47.180 lot of nightlife

01:05:47.920 or anything,

01:05:48.440 so I was low

01:05:49.120 key up early,

01:05:52.380 it was beautiful,

01:05:53.500 man,

01:05:54.340 it was beautiful,

01:05:55.200 I don't think

01:05:55.500 you could,

01:05:55.900 I don't think

01:05:56.900 that you could

01:05:57.400 go wrong,

01:05:59.080 let's take

01:05:59.660 another call

01:06:00.100 right here,

01:06:01.400 what's up,

01:06:01.780 Theo,

01:06:02.180 this is Bruce

01:06:02.860 from Rochester

01:06:03.660 or Nectad

01:06:05.860 Country,

01:06:07.020 Rochester,

01:06:07.840 that ROC,

01:06:08.800 boy,

01:06:09.080 shout out

01:06:10.240 to my boy

01:06:10.820 Baggins,

01:06:11.480 dude who

01:06:11.740 passed away

01:06:12.280 a couple

01:06:12.600 years ago,

01:06:13.260 he OD'd

01:06:13.840 over there

01:06:14.220 by the

01:06:14.560 Pizza Hut

01:06:15.180 by the

01:06:15.540 days in,

01:06:17.220 and,

01:06:17.640 you know,

01:06:18.920 he was hopped

01:06:19.560 up,

01:06:19.800 I think he,

01:06:20.560 you know,

01:06:20.840 was on them

01:06:21.300 lewds and on

01:06:21.940 that garbage

01:06:22.500 plate,

01:06:23.000 bro,

01:06:23.180 he got a,

01:06:24.240 caught a

01:06:24.660 thick garbage

01:06:25.300 plate and

01:06:25.740 couldn't,

01:06:26.880 couldn't get

01:06:27.620 it down,

01:06:28.240 bro,

01:06:28.540 gang,

01:06:29.060 bro,

01:06:29.400 onward.

01:06:30.880 I just

01:06:31.500 want to leave

01:06:31.920 a comment

01:06:32.580 on the

01:06:33.400 podcast you

01:06:34.140 had with

01:06:34.500 Chris Lilly,

01:06:35.520 when you were

01:06:36.040 talking about

01:06:36.640 you had a

01:06:37.440 dream about

01:06:38.220 him,

01:06:38.540 I just

01:06:39.120 wanted to

01:06:39.400 mention that

01:06:39.820 I actually

01:06:40.280 also had a

01:06:42.000 dream about

01:06:42.540 you the

01:06:42.900 night before.

01:06:44.700 Oh,

01:06:44.940 okay.

01:06:46.440 This is wild,

01:06:47.520 man,

01:06:47.680 because I've

01:06:47.900 never been

01:06:48.260 down this

01:06:48.680 territory where

01:06:49.380 I'm talking

01:06:49.880 to a man

01:06:50.400 that had a

01:06:50.880 dream about

01:06:51.480 me,

01:06:51.920 and so I'm

01:06:52.900 curious to

01:06:53.460 see how

01:06:54.100 this will go.

01:06:56.320 Let's hear

01:06:56.820 more,

01:06:57.140 brother.

01:06:57.520 Thank you

01:06:57.840 for calling.

01:06:58.260 I was in

01:07:00.060 a comedy

01:07:00.500 club and

01:07:01.060 it was

01:07:01.220 very crowded.

01:07:02.140 I was

01:07:02.340 trying to

01:07:02.600 make my

01:07:02.960 way out

01:07:03.460 of the

01:07:03.720 club,

01:07:04.420 and you

01:07:04.740 were trying

01:07:05.040 to make

01:07:05.300 your way

01:07:05.620 through the

01:07:06.060 club,

01:07:06.940 trying to

01:07:07.320 go through

01:07:07.740 the crowd

01:07:08.140 there.

01:07:08.780 There was

01:07:09.040 a little

01:07:09.220 break in

01:07:09.680 the people,

01:07:11.060 and so we

01:07:12.040 met up.

01:07:13.280 Damn,

01:07:14.040 this shit

01:07:14.400 is getting

01:07:15.000 erotic,

01:07:16.600 huh?

01:07:17.480 Or maybe

01:07:17.940 not,

01:07:18.260 maybe it's

01:07:18.540 just two

01:07:18.800 guys passing

01:07:19.460 in a club

01:07:20.040 about to

01:07:20.580 find out.

01:07:21.220 in my

01:07:22.020 dream.

01:07:23.520 And when

01:07:24.220 I tried to

01:07:24.640 pass by

01:07:25.180 you,

01:07:25.420 you gave

01:07:25.720 me a

01:07:25.980 look,

01:07:26.980 kind of a

01:07:27.520 little bit

01:07:27.800 of an

01:07:28.060 attitude,

01:07:28.840 a little

01:07:29.120 huff and

01:07:30.100 puff.

01:07:31.280 Okay,

01:07:32.160 then this

01:07:32.560 sounds like

01:07:32.980 me at the

01:07:33.420 beginning of

01:07:33.720 my comedy

01:07:34.220 tour behind

01:07:34.800 the scenes,

01:07:35.540 man.

01:07:36.180 I was

01:07:36.720 hufflepuffing,

01:07:37.600 man.

01:07:37.880 I was

01:07:38.340 getting

01:07:38.580 slithering,

01:07:40.020 and then I

01:07:41.340 started to

01:07:41.840 kind of really

01:07:42.240 Gryffindor out

01:07:43.060 towards the

01:07:43.540 end.

01:07:43.860 Onward?

01:07:44.560 Now,

01:07:44.960 when I went

01:07:45.400 by you,

01:07:46.160 as if I was

01:07:47.380 in your

01:07:47.740 way,

01:07:48.500 and I know

01:07:49.420 it was just

01:07:49.840 a dream,

01:07:50.520 but I

01:07:50.940 do still

01:07:51.720 feel like

01:07:52.260 maybe you

01:07:52.720 owe me

01:07:53.140 an apology.

01:07:54.340 And so I

01:07:54.700 just wanted

01:07:55.040 to put that

01:07:55.500 out there.

01:07:56.440 Listen,

01:07:57.200 I understand

01:07:58.320 where you're

01:07:58.780 coming from

01:07:59.200 if you don't

01:07:59.840 apologize,

01:08:00.980 but I

01:08:01.560 just,

01:08:02.040 I felt like,

01:08:03.120 you know,

01:08:04.240 maybe that was

01:08:04.740 the right thing

01:08:05.160 to do at

01:08:05.540 this point.

01:08:06.540 Gang,

01:08:06.760 gang.

01:08:09.440 Huh.

01:08:10.760 You know,

01:08:11.640 apology for

01:08:12.820 the subconscious

01:08:13.460 behavior?

01:08:14.980 You know what,

01:08:15.780 man?

01:08:15.920 I will apologize.

01:08:19.140 It's,

01:08:19.560 I don't

01:08:22.140 need to be

01:08:22.520 right,

01:08:22.920 man.

01:08:24.380 I'm sorry.

01:08:26.480 You know,

01:08:26.940 I'm sorry,

01:08:27.520 man.

01:08:27.760 I think I,

01:08:28.300 that,

01:08:28.900 you know,

01:08:29.300 I have had

01:08:29.920 some of that

01:08:30.340 behavior recently.

01:08:31.180 I think I've

01:08:31.660 been in a lot

01:08:32.160 of fear

01:08:32.660 about just

01:08:33.760 things changing

01:08:34.540 in my life

01:08:35.180 and just not

01:08:35.840 knowing how

01:08:36.260 to act

01:08:36.800 and,

01:08:37.120 you know,

01:08:38.580 just worried

01:08:39.140 about how

01:08:40.580 people are

01:08:41.100 going to

01:08:41.300 think of

01:08:41.700 me and

01:08:42.340 worried if

01:08:44.360 I'm deserving

01:08:45.000 of different

01:08:46.260 opportunities

01:08:47.020 and

01:08:47.560 just worried

01:08:51.120 like if the

01:08:51.540 world is like

01:08:52.100 tricking me,

01:08:53.760 you know,

01:08:53.960 worried if the

01:08:54.500 world is like

01:08:55.380 just tricking me

01:08:56.320 and saying,

01:08:56.920 oh,

01:08:57.100 well,

01:08:58.120 here's something

01:08:58.820 you're going to

01:08:59.160 be able to get

01:08:59.660 to do,

01:09:00.100 but then we're

01:09:01.080 just tricking

01:09:01.700 you.

01:09:02.080 You're going

01:09:02.400 to wake up

01:09:03.000 or you're

01:09:03.300 going to,

01:09:04.280 some harsh

01:09:05.300 reality is going

01:09:06.000 to show up

01:09:06.520 and change

01:09:07.140 things.

01:09:08.080 And I know

01:09:08.420 some stuff

01:09:08.860 we don't have

01:09:09.180 control over,

01:09:09.960 but I could

01:09:11.100 see myself

01:09:11.640 probably if I was

01:09:12.740 in my subconscious

01:09:13.440 walking past

01:09:14.200 somebody and

01:09:14.620 giving them

01:09:14.920 kind of a

01:09:15.400 little bit

01:09:15.780 of a,

01:09:16.080 you know,

01:09:17.980 a harumph.

01:09:19.100 So,

01:09:19.400 I'm sorry

01:09:19.840 about that.

01:09:21.480 You know,

01:09:21.940 I'm sorry

01:09:22.260 about that,

01:09:22.740 dude.

01:09:22.900 I could have,

01:09:23.880 you know,

01:09:24.380 I could have

01:09:24.640 made the choice

01:09:25.200 to be seeing

01:09:26.440 you and just

01:09:26.840 giving you a

01:09:27.280 smile or giving

01:09:27.900 you a thumbs

01:09:28.380 up or,

01:09:29.380 you know,

01:09:29.700 no thumbs

01:09:30.280 up,

01:09:30.540 which is also

01:09:31.020 a new thing

01:09:31.540 a lot of

01:09:31.900 people are

01:09:32.200 doing.

01:09:32.760 Two hands

01:09:33.300 out,

01:09:34.180 closed fist,

01:09:35.100 thumb tucked

01:09:35.700 away inside the

01:09:36.380 hand,

01:09:36.940 no thumbs

01:09:37.600 up.

01:09:38.840 People are

01:09:39.200 like,

01:09:39.400 well,

01:09:39.480 what in the

01:09:39.780 hell is going

01:09:41.300 on?

01:09:42.300 But it's

01:09:43.440 all right,

01:09:44.960 guy,

01:09:45.320 no thumbs

01:09:45.800 up.

01:09:47.700 And that's

01:09:48.180 like a

01:09:48.420 Japanese thing.

01:09:49.200 It's like a

01:09:49.460 new,

01:09:49.720 it's like the

01:09:50.120 peace sign,

01:09:50.700 but it's

01:09:50.860 like newer

01:09:51.200 than that.

01:09:53.500 So,

01:09:53.900 I'm sorry

01:09:54.160 I did that,

01:09:54.680 man.

01:09:55.080 And next

01:09:55.440 time we

01:09:55.740 see each

01:09:56.100 other,

01:09:56.400 yeah,

01:09:57.000 keep your

01:09:57.480 chakras

01:09:57.860 open because

01:09:58.520 I'll make

01:09:59.040 sure to,

01:09:59.420 you know,

01:09:59.720 give you a

01:10:00.120 little bit

01:10:00.380 of an

01:10:00.600 elbow,

01:10:01.600 you know,

01:10:02.120 a fist

01:10:02.500 bump or

01:10:02.960 something

01:10:03.220 hearty,

01:10:03.860 something

01:10:04.060 lovable,

01:10:04.740 you know.

01:10:05.500 Maybe just,

01:10:06.280 you know,

01:10:06.560 I'll have a

01:10:07.060 little baton,

01:10:07.760 I'll do a

01:10:08.160 quick little

01:10:08.740 beat twirl,

01:10:13.940 put a

01:10:14.460 little,

01:10:14.700 put a

01:10:15.420 little pendant

01:10:15.940 on your

01:10:16.340 lapel,

01:10:17.280 maybe something,

01:10:18.480 you know,

01:10:18.820 something that

01:10:19.220 says vote for

01:10:19.920 Jerry or

01:10:20.480 something,

01:10:21.820 you know,

01:10:22.200 and then

01:10:22.500 another pendant

01:10:23.220 that says who

01:10:24.160 the fuck is

01:10:24.820 Jerry.

01:10:26.540 So that way

01:10:27.320 you kind of

01:10:27.680 get the full

01:10:28.220 deal.

01:10:29.680 We had some

01:10:30.320 Patreon questions,

01:10:31.080 we're going to

01:10:31.300 get to them next

01:10:31.720 time and this

01:10:32.120 jet lag is

01:10:32.800 literally shutting

01:10:33.880 my face down.

01:10:36.540 I don't know,

01:10:37.180 I don't think

01:10:37.500 there's anything

01:10:37.800 else to share

01:10:39.200 at the moment.

01:10:40.180 I just want to

01:10:40.740 apologize to

01:10:41.340 anybody.

01:10:41.700 I know there's

01:10:42.040 sometimes where

01:10:42.520 people reach

01:10:43.080 out,

01:10:43.440 and like I

01:10:43.880 try to get

01:10:44.260 people tickets

01:10:44.900 and a lot

01:10:45.300 of times I

01:10:45.660 try to help

01:10:46.200 and a lot

01:10:47.100 of times

01:10:47.380 tickets are

01:10:47.760 sold out

01:10:48.380 to shows.

01:10:50.840 Be careful,

01:10:51.740 there's a lot

01:10:52.100 of second

01:10:52.480 and third

01:10:52.880 party websites

01:10:53.540 that will

01:10:54.260 sell tickets

01:10:55.200 at extraordinary

01:10:56.020 prices.

01:10:57.320 Those are

01:10:57.720 not the

01:10:58.560 regular ticket

01:10:59.520 sites.

01:11:00.660 Those are

01:11:01.020 second and

01:11:01.580 third party.

01:11:02.120 You got to

01:11:02.380 look at the

01:11:02.840 name.

01:11:03.700 Sometimes they'll

01:11:04.340 make the name

01:11:04.860 just like

01:11:05.380 Ticketmaster.

01:11:06.320 It'll be like

01:11:06.860 Licketmaster and

01:11:08.980 the ticket's $200

01:11:09.720 for the show.

01:11:11.120 I don't sell

01:11:11.720 tickets at those

01:11:12.360 high prices.

01:11:13.000 If you see

01:11:14.180 something going

01:11:14.680 on like that,

01:11:15.240 that's not a

01:11:15.720 natural ticket.

01:11:17.620 You want that

01:11:18.300 natural choice.

01:11:20.000 You don't want

01:11:20.580 that breech

01:11:21.120 birth ticket.

01:11:23.020 You think you're

01:11:24.140 coming to see me

01:11:24.700 and you go to

01:11:25.120 see Lyle Lovett

01:11:26.080 and his mother

01:11:26.960 and they're doing

01:11:27.440 knitting or something

01:11:28.320 or doing yoga

01:11:29.380 schooling?

01:11:32.680 Yeah, man.

01:11:33.300 My brain is a

01:11:33.840 little bit

01:11:34.120 fried from the

01:11:34.680 trip, but I'm

01:11:35.220 happy to be

01:11:35.680 home.

01:11:36.400 I'm in a new

01:11:36.940 studio.

01:11:37.600 I have no clue

01:11:38.300 what's going to

01:11:38.780 happen.

01:11:42.260 But that's the

01:11:43.940 risk that I'm

01:11:44.460 willing to take

01:11:44.980 right now.

01:11:46.680 Because I've

01:11:47.300 learned from a

01:11:48.040 previous experience

01:11:48.820 when we took the

01:11:49.440 first risk.

01:11:50.260 It was good.

01:11:51.880 And maybe we're

01:11:52.320 overstepping our

01:11:52.980 bounds and getting

01:11:53.540 more space.

01:11:54.140 I don't know.

01:11:57.700 So I'm curious

01:11:58.540 to see how we'll

01:12:01.380 fill this space

01:12:02.240 and if we'll

01:12:04.180 fill it and

01:12:05.260 with what.

01:12:07.640 But I feel like

01:12:08.440 it's some new

01:12:08.860 opportunity.

01:12:11.060 And I feel like

01:12:11.720 I've been feeling

01:12:12.960 a lot of inspiration

01:12:13.840 recently to do

01:12:14.920 some cool

01:12:17.440 giving back and

01:12:18.560 outreach type of

01:12:19.340 stuff.

01:12:19.680 And I don't know

01:12:20.520 what that's going

01:12:20.920 to be, but I can

01:12:21.400 really feel it

01:12:22.100 starting to gestate

01:12:22.900 inside of me.

01:12:25.060 But thank you

01:12:25.800 guys for your

01:12:26.340 patience.

01:12:26.880 Thank you guys

01:12:27.460 for being here

01:12:28.100 today.

01:12:29.440 Thanks for the

01:12:30.120 calls.

01:12:30.580 As always, the

01:12:31.200 hotline, 985-664-9503.

01:12:34.800 We have some

01:12:35.280 great Patreon

01:12:35.920 questions from

01:12:36.920 Matthew Puccinelli,

01:12:38.500 Marissa Bruno,

01:12:39.980 Olivia Hebert,

01:12:40.900 Ciara Smith,

01:12:41.660 Mike Nucci,

01:12:42.720 and Quinn Hassan.

01:12:44.900 And I'll get to

01:12:45.700 some of those next

01:12:46.420 week.

01:12:47.500 But you guys be

01:12:48.380 good to yourselves,

01:12:49.280 man.

01:12:50.660 On the way out,

01:12:51.560 let's go out with

01:12:52.180 some Jameson

01:12:53.800 flood every night.

01:12:56.680 Every night I lie

01:13:13.860 Every night I lie away

01:13:22.140 Every night I feel like a fake

01:13:25.100 I put on a show

01:13:26.640 Knowing nobody will call me

01:13:30.580 Every night you sleep

01:13:37.000 Every night I lie at these

01:13:42.320 Do you think that you know

01:13:44.540 But you still believe

01:13:46.740 That it was me

01:13:51.780 It was me

01:13:54.280 Ladies and gentlemen

01:14:01.620 I'm Jonathan Kite

01:14:02.820 And welcome to Kite Club

01:14:04.140 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts

01:14:06.380 On things like current events

01:14:07.780 Stand-up stories

01:14:09.000 And seven ways to pleasure your partner

01:14:11.320 The answer may shock you

01:14:13.240 Sometimes I'll interview my friends

01:14:15.240 Sometimes I won't

01:14:16.580 And as always

01:14:18.100 I'll be joined by the voices in my head

01:14:20.060 You have three new voice messages

01:14:22.940 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club

01:14:25.940 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long

01:14:28.740 Longer than anybody else

01:14:30.380 So great

01:14:31.180 Hi

01:14:32.180 Sweetie

01:14:32.920 Here's a deal

01:14:34.220 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club

01:14:36.680 Is a dodgy bloody wanker

01:14:38.720 Charmaine

01:14:39.420 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese

01:14:42.700 And a McFlurry

01:14:43.760 Sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken

01:14:45.600 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me

01:14:50.560 Anyway

01:14:51.020 First rule of Kite Club is

01:14:52.960 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:14:54.660 Second rule of Kite Club is

01:14:56.600 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:14:58.860 Third rule

01:14:59.620 Like and subscribe

01:15:00.820 Wherever you listen to podcasts

01:15:02.520 Or watch us on YouTube

01:15:04.020 Yeah

01:15:04.440 And yes

01:15:05.340 Don't worry

01:15:05.920 My Brad Pitt impression will get better

01:15:07.960 Thank you

01:15:09.960 And yes

01:15:10.980 And I'm saying

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - June 04, 2019

All Aboard ｜ This Past Weekend #203

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