This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Bald is Beautiful ｜ This Past Weekend #103

00:00:00.940 What are they gonna do about us, man?

00:00:03.960 That's what I ask sometimes, you know.

00:00:05.920 I say, what are they gonna do about us?

00:00:30.000 And that is Brad Levine with Better Off Barefoot right now, right there.

00:00:55.500 And what are they gonna do about us?

00:00:57.980 That's what I ask myself sometimes.

00:01:00.440 You know, there used to be a driving force in me a lot when I was young.

00:01:04.900 You know, I'd ask myself, what are they gonna do about me?

00:01:08.360 You know, I'd think about that in the world, you know, and I would try to inspire myself

00:01:11.760 when I'd have those M&M moments, you know, or them Eazy-E moments.

00:01:16.280 When I was, you know, bustling through the neighborhood by my lonesome, just out there all lonely-legged,

00:01:23.440 just moving one foot in front of the other, you know, just with that swaggy neck.

00:01:29.160 Like when you, you know, you kind of, you put your chin up, you walk chin first, you know,

00:01:34.900 when you get your swag, you get your neck all swaggy, and you walk chin first.

00:01:41.300 And you think to yourself, what are they gonna do about me?

00:01:45.760 You know, what's the world gonna do about me?

00:01:49.160 Because I'm not gonna give up.

00:01:51.820 They're gonna have to do something.

00:01:54.220 They're gonna have to put me down.

00:01:56.780 They're gonna have to old yell at your boy.

00:01:59.280 They're gonna have to hit me with that euthanasia if they're gonna stop me.

00:02:04.920 Because I'm not, I'm not gonna stop by myself.

00:02:10.800 I used to think about that when I was, when I was, when I was young, you know.

00:02:16.500 When I had that, you know, that wild swagger. 1.00

00:02:20.940 You know, you got that fuck the world, fuck the world swagger. 1.00

00:02:25.780 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:02:27.300 And I, that, that, that used to be the thing that would drive me.

00:02:31.160 You know, it used to be, man, every other, every other vertebrae in my spine was just,

00:02:36.640 you know, it was like Marshall, it looked like a, like, just like a little picture of Marshall Mathers,

00:02:42.120 then a vertebrae.

00:02:43.180 It would be like L1, Marshall Mathers.

00:02:45.780 L3, Marshall Mathers.

00:02:47.600 L5, Marshall Mathers.

00:02:49.280 S1, on up my vertebrae through that whole, that whole spenal column.

00:02:55.120 And that's who I, you know, I just had that, grr.

00:02:58.700 I had that angst in me.

00:03:00.720 And that's what drove me, you know, a lot of times when I was young, was that angst, that fire.

00:03:07.360 You know, me asking the world, you know, at the root of me, I would, I was asking the world,

00:03:12.940 what are y'all going to do about me?

00:03:15.340 How y'all going to stop me?

00:03:17.680 And that used to be some anger and some swagger that I used to run with.

00:03:23.540 Thank you guys for being here today.

00:03:25.540 You know, I, uh, I'm happy.

00:03:28.300 I'm happy to be here with you guys.

00:03:29.460 I just got back from Oklahoma City or, no, sorry.

00:03:31.700 I just got back from Ark-lahoma up there in the corner of Arkansas and Oklahoma.

00:03:37.740 You know, it's, um, they got a lot of wheat up there.

00:03:41.440 They got a lot of hay.

00:03:43.600 I mean, you see a hay bale.

00:03:45.560 You're driving, you're driving.

00:03:46.980 Suddenly you see, you know, six or seven hay bales.

00:03:50.260 You know, you see a couple people ducked off behind a hay bale.

00:03:52.760 Maybe, you know, you know, tugging on a pack of Winstons.

00:03:58.540 You see somebody ducked off behind a hay bale.

00:04:00.540 Maybe, um, you know, hugging their sister a little too hard.

00:04:05.060 Or you see, you know, a couple siblings back there.

00:04:07.220 You see, you know, maybe, um, you see somebody, you know, supposed to be working.

00:04:11.460 And they ducked off behind a hay bale.

00:04:13.780 And they, you know, they're, uh, they're test driving a couple of daydreams.

00:04:20.420 But that's what you would see with these hay bales.

00:04:22.400 Man, when you get these hay bales going, that, that, a hay bale is just a place to hide.

00:04:27.220 A hay bale, especially in flat, flat terrain, a hay bale is just a soft little bitty mountain

00:04:32.660 that is flammable and that horses will eat.

00:04:36.960 And you, you, you said a hay bale anyway, you know, if you got an open field, you put a

00:04:40.480 hay bale in there out in the middle of it, suddenly you got something to hide behind.

00:04:43.820 Anything can happen behind there.

00:04:45.740 Sorcery, wizardry, or light wizardry.

00:04:48.220 What else?

00:04:50.480 I mean, you could, you know, you could, uh, protect yourself, uh, from the winds behind

00:04:56.280 a hay bale.

00:04:57.480 You know, you could, um, you could grow, uh, plants that need shade.

00:05:03.480 You could do it behind a hay bale.

00:05:06.240 You know, there's a lot of things you can do when you got that hay bale.

00:05:10.140 So, so sometimes you, if you're driving past on the road and you look at a hay bale, you're 0.99

00:05:13.580 like, what the fuck, dude? 1.00

00:05:14.760 Dude, that's just a bunch of grass got together in a damn gang bang. 1.00

00:05:20.180 But when you really get out there and look or, you know, and you see what a hay bale is, 0.99

00:05:24.780 you see, oh, this is, you know, this thing provides possibility.

00:05:30.120 Because you don't know what's going on on the other side of that hay bale.

00:05:34.820 You don't know what's going on on the other side of that HBZ.

00:05:40.480 But man, I had a good weekend out there.

00:05:42.540 I had a really good weekend out there.

00:05:44.280 And, uh, and I'm happy to be home and I'm tired.

00:05:47.140 Dude, I'm freaking tired, dude.

00:05:51.360 I'm tired.

00:05:55.060 But we had a good, we had a good, uh, show out there.

00:05:57.660 We had a good show out there.

00:05:59.020 We sold it out.

00:05:59.820 I want to thank everybody that came out, out there.

00:06:02.100 And you can, uh, somebody hit, hit the hotline with this right here.

00:06:05.460 What's up, Theo?

00:06:06.420 This is Brian from Arkansas, man.

00:06:08.140 I'm just calling.

00:06:08.860 I just got done watching your show. 1.00

00:06:10.480 You fucking annihilated, man. 1.00

00:06:12.600 And, uh, I stuck around for a little bit. 1.00

00:06:14.540 I didn't know where you were going to be coming out.

00:06:16.200 I wish I would have got to meet you, man.

00:06:17.580 But I just wanted to call and say, thanks for the show. 0.93

00:06:20.200 It's fucking awesome, man.

00:06:21.220 And let, let, uh, let Mr. Shao know that I'm going to be, I'm going to be catching him next month when he comes to, man. 0.93

00:06:28.720 You got it, brother.

00:06:29.640 Thank you.

00:06:30.120 Thank you for that message.

00:06:30.980 And I enjoyed it, dude.

00:06:32.220 I enjoyed it out there.

00:06:33.360 A lot of good people came out, you know, a lot of good people out there holding hands and, you know, a lot of just, they had one dude had real, look like he had a bunch of ant bites on his arms.

00:06:44.940 But you know what?

00:06:45.740 I'll still, I'll let that dude hug me one time. 0.98

00:06:47.860 I said, damn, boy, you know, I'll have to write, you know, wrap me up in them big bite burritos. 0.98

00:06:53.000 He had these big arms, these big, long, just like a damn, you know, I mean, it was just like being wrapped in each one, each one of his arms was probably three feet long. 0.99

00:07:00.960 So he just put me in this big, it was just like six feet of just ant, ant bitten burrito, just real white and just hell ant bites. 0.93

00:07:10.240 Like this dude had just been, you know, playing, playing Sims on his arms, but with ants.

00:07:15.920 And it was, you know, they had a lot of people came out.

00:07:20.500 And I will tell Brendan Schaub that you guys will come see him as well.

00:07:23.580 I know he's going to be heading there soon for I think his second or third visit, the bee sting daddy from the fighter and the kid.

00:07:30.500 But man, I'll tell you this, I went to see, I went to see Joey Diaz, surprised him up there on Monday, last Monday.

00:07:36.340 And yeah, man, it was great.

00:07:41.240 You know, because Joey, Joey has this special thing.

00:07:43.540 If you're not familiar with Joey Diaz and you need to go check him out, he's one of a kind.

00:07:47.760 You know, he's like, he's from like another, it's almost like he's, he's like the emerging of a couple of different generations.

00:07:56.380 Because he's got this old school generation where it's, you know, he's about honor and he's about his word.

00:08:02.700 But then he's got this new school generation where he's, you know, all in the psychedelics and, and, and thinking and like, and experimenting and, and, and then he's got the kind of the 70s kind of trapped in him.

00:08:14.080 He's all about like free love and, and just bringing everybody into the fold.

00:08:18.120 He just, you know, he's, he's multi-generational and he's got that special gift.

00:08:23.440 And he was shooting a special for Netflix and Netflix is a television channel, but it's on your computer.

00:08:29.620 And now it's actually back on your television now, which is pretty bizarre, isn't it?

00:08:33.880 It's like TV came off a TV on your computer.

00:08:36.800 And then now it's like, oh, go, go and get, now you can get the computer over the, on the TV.

00:08:44.880 Remember where you used to get it?

00:08:46.820 But now it's like they took it and reshaped it and just, and now it's, it's back over there.

00:08:51.280 And, uh, and he, he was taping a Netflix special for them and it was great, man.

00:08:56.260 He didn't know I was coming up and I rolled up there and, you know, it's, you know, they got, you know, they have productions.

00:09:03.240 So you get there and they have an audience waiting outside, some white dude, some Muppet had gotten, you know, the heater had got him was in Vegas.

00:09:11.380 So either the heat had got him or maybe a hooker had bit him, you know, something had happened to him and, you know, and he hit the ground. 0.98

00:09:18.620 The EMTs are out there, but you know, a couple of EMTs, they're probably, you know, cooking dope on the side and shit. 0.98

00:09:24.780 Cause it's Vegas. 0.97

00:09:26.300 You know what I'm saying?

00:09:27.200 Everybody, somebody is a school teacher, but they sell them a little bit of fricking warm lip out the back door.

00:09:31.700 You know, they escort.

00:09:34.000 So it's anything is possible.

00:09:35.920 You know, they sell them a little couple of slices of that. 0.57

00:09:38.460 Mama's got that sweat wallet and she's vending that thing after school, you know, and she's putting people in a detention in her crotch because that's how to make that extra money. 1.00

00:09:47.820 That's Vegas.

00:09:48.900 And that's, you know, I mean, the Vegas is, it's basically just a buffet for the dark arts.

00:09:53.860 You get anything you want over there.

00:09:55.520 You get you, you go, you can go repelling off of a crack rock if you want.

00:10:01.240 And that reminds me of a story of my sister.

00:10:03.240 One time she, and I don't think I'm talking outside of school with me, my sister and I, you know, she knows I love her and we share stories, but she got caught up on some of that dust or something back in the day.

00:10:14.100 You know, she was just, uh, you know what I'm saying?

00:10:18.700 She was just, she was all about that.

00:10:21.980 She was all about that.

00:10:23.120 Give me a D, give me a U, give me a S, give me a T on that dust.

00:10:30.320 And, uh, and she had a boyfriend and that's what happened, you know, cause sometimes the man will be all, he'll be dusted up, you know, he'll be running around and, uh, and, and, and he'll have, you know, dusty ideas.

00:10:44.060 And then the lady will fall in love with the man and then she'll get caught, you know, she'll get some of that dust in her eyes. 1.00

00:10:49.020 And that's just a, a byproduct of the love that she expresses for the man.

00:10:53.640 And that's what happened with my sister. 0.97

00:10:55.640 And so she fell in with some man and it was getting dusted up or something.

00:10:59.300 And he took her rock climbing and look, dude, I think it's crazy to be, first of all, you introducing somebody to rock, you know, to some type of dust or methamphetamines.

00:11:10.920 And then secondarily to then physically take them rock climbing.

00:11:14.900 I mean, that's, I mean, what is that?

00:11:17.880 What would, what would Freud say about that?

00:11:20.860 You know, when you introducing somebody to a couple of grams and then you introducing somebody to a, a couple of, uh, uh, you know, stalactites of granite from grams to granite, baby.

00:11:32.660 You know what I'm saying?

00:11:33.420 We getting dusted and we, uh, and we going spelunking.

00:11:37.920 Belunking. 0.96

00:11:38.920 And so that's what happened.

00:11:40.180 But anyway, my sister went, uh, rock climbing and they ended up climbing up to a, um, what's it called? 0.89

00:11:49.020 When people are, they're eating, but every, you can see their, their vagina, um, nudist colony. 1.00

00:11:58.040 She got taken up to a nudist colony and they were having a, they were grilling out. 0.96

00:12:02.920 They were doing barbecue because even the naked, the naked liked to eat. 0.59

00:12:08.460 I mean, and you got to think about that, boy.

00:12:10.260 If you take your clothes off, the first thing I want, boy, I feel embarrassed for about 30 seconds after that. 1.00

00:12:15.660 Give me a fucking McRib, baby. 1.00

00:12:18.420 Give me a, a, a, a, a round. 1.00

00:12:22.640 Because, boy, I swear, dude, if I don't have to worry about getting some on my shirt, that's the beauty about eating naked.

00:12:27.720 Boy, a sloppy Joe.

00:12:30.780 And now if I, if I got on a nice, uh, you know, if I got on a nice 700, you know, count, uh, you know, or if I got on a nice, like 80, 80 count threadbare shirt or something, you know, or a multifaceted, you know, collared shirt, shirt that has a couple of levels, you know, got that business top piece, that collar.

00:12:51.640 Or, yeah, then I might not enjoy a chili dog the right way.

00:12:55.460 Or I might stick my neck out and eat it away from my body. 0.86

00:12:59.300 But, boy, you get me naked? 1.00

00:13:02.180 Motherfucker, I want a sloppy Joe. 1.00

00:13:04.040 You know what I'm saying, dude? 1.00

00:13:05.600 I'll let you throw, dude, I'll let you throw handfuls of fucking warm meat into my mouth from about two feet away. 1.00

00:13:12.300 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:13:13.020 I'll take that prime rib from close range.

00:13:16.960 Because, uh, because I don't care about getting it on my clothes at that point.

00:13:21.600 You know, and that's the crazy thing.

00:13:22.960 We buy these clothes.

00:13:24.580 And then, you know, because we want to look nice.

00:13:27.340 And then we have to eat all uncomfortably to keep the spillage off of our clothes.

00:13:34.840 Because, look, I don't trust somebody that don't put a little bit of condiments on their meat. 0.95

00:13:41.980 If you ain't putting fucking, if you don't put condiments on your meat or condiments on your, you know, vegetables or salads. 0.98

00:13:50.300 If you eat and dry, you eat and dry a salad. 0.99

00:13:54.360 Oh, was your stepdaddy a rabbit?

00:13:57.520 Huh?

00:13:58.300 Do your mother live at, I don't know, Mr. McGregor's Garden?

00:14:02.920 Unit 700.

00:14:04.280 And four?

00:14:05.640 No.

00:14:07.020 You need to put condiments on anything you're having.

00:14:09.600 You got to juice things up.

00:14:11.880 But so when you don't have that, when you're naked, you'll eat something full throttle. 1.00

00:14:15.140 Boy, I'll take that shit straight to my face. 1.00

00:14:16.860 Because I don't care if I get a little bit of meat on my neck. 1.00

00:14:19.200 You know, I don't care if I get a little bit of sloppy joe, you know, coagulated up in my navel. 0.99

00:14:23.580 Because I'll just, dude, I'll scoop a fucking hitter. 1.00

00:14:27.360 Dude, I'll scoop a small baby hitter warm yams out of my navel and take that shit into my jaw. 1.00

00:14:32.520 Because that's who I am, baby. 1.00

00:14:36.840 What they going to do about it?

00:14:38.240 How they going to stop me?

00:14:41.140 How they going to stop me?

00:14:43.220 But my sister, you know, they got up there and this was a nudist colony. 0.91

00:14:47.500 And they cooking, they're out there grilling.

00:14:49.540 And she said they were grilling fresh franks. 0.98

00:14:51.900 You know, hot dogs, whiners.

00:14:54.040 And they out there, you know, they got a fresh batch of, you know, polished sausages and whiners.

00:15:00.080 And everybody's out there eating.

00:15:02.320 And I'd be, dang, dude, her boyfriend, this dude, you know, and he was busted up on them boulders, on them baby boulders.

00:15:08.780 You know, heating them up with a lighter and taking them into his brain.

00:15:11.840 You know, that baby boulder smoke just. 0.99

00:15:15.860 And letting the squirrels run through his fucking cerebralities. 0.98

00:15:19.520 And this dude's out there and he's taking my sister to a nudist colony weenie grill out. 0.99

00:15:28.260 And honestly, it sounds like a fun-ass date.

00:15:32.780 It sounds like something you'd pay extra to go to at one of these raves.

00:15:37.100 You know, for an extra $150, you can get that special nudist colony wristband.

00:15:41.900 Well, we'll take you guys behind the gymnasium.

00:15:43.900 They got about 50 naked people hopped up on Mali, you know, grilling up a package of them Johnston brats. 1.00

00:15:54.480 And my stepdad used to grill up Johnston brats for us all the time.

00:15:58.920 And he drove an old cop car, dude.

00:16:01.700 And everybody in the neighborhood thought he was a cop, but he wasn't. 1.00

00:16:06.200 He just got that shit at auction. 0.99

00:16:08.600 And so, you know, he got a discount on that car, but I'll be damned if we didn't get all frisked. 1.00

00:16:12.800 Everywhere we went, people frisking me thought I had a wire on.

00:16:16.140 Saying, that's my daddy.

00:16:18.480 I barely know him, dude.

00:16:20.040 He owns a car wash.

00:16:21.620 And he's been making love to my mother.

00:16:23.500 That's our only connection.

00:16:24.840 So why are you frisking me?

00:16:26.400 And also, why is this 40-year-old man frisking me?

00:16:30.540 Saying he thinks I'm a narc. 1.00

00:16:32.180 A narc for what, bitch? 1.00

00:16:33.360 I'm nine years old. 1.00

00:16:35.600 I'm 11, player.

00:16:37.060 I ain't narking.

00:16:37.860 And so, anyway, man, but my sister, yeah, you know, what was I talking about?

00:16:46.680 I don't know.

00:16:48.200 But, yeah, dude, they took, you know, like my sister, she got caught up out there on a little bit of that, you know, on a little bit of that, you know, that face fire.

00:16:55.740 On a little bit of that dust.

00:16:57.900 And she ended up going, she went up, she went rock climbing up to a nudist colony and ended up having lunch out there with them.

00:17:06.680 And in hindsight, look, at least the guy took her to do things, you know?

00:17:14.080 And you can say that's messed up, but also, I bet there's a lot of people sitting around out there jealous right now that your man or your woman's never took you out there for anything special like that.

00:17:23.140 Never took you out there for anything brave and did a little bit of bravery.

00:17:29.260 But, yeah, my sister's brave like that, man.

00:17:31.240 One of my sisters is brave like that.

00:17:32.700 She likes to get out there and be out there like that. 0.98

00:17:34.580 But, yeah, thanks for calling and thanks for coming out there to Oklahoma.

00:17:38.020 You know, they had a lot of good people came out.

00:17:40.160 Dude had ant bites on his arms.

00:17:43.780 You know, we had a couple of beautiful multiracial couples. 0.92

00:17:48.600 You know, and I like seeing that beige power. 0.79

00:17:50.920 That's where I'm at. 0.99

00:17:52.260 Because the future, bro, that shit is the future is mauve. 1.00

00:17:55.520 You know, the future is a little bit, is mildly copper. 1.00

00:17:57.960 You know, the future's got that, you know, it's multifaceted.

00:18:03.400 You know, the future is multifaceted.

00:18:06.240 Because they got a lot of people out there trying to get theirs.

00:18:09.580 And those people are all different colors.

00:18:12.560 You know, all different shades.

00:18:14.880 And those people are the ones that, that's the team I'm on right there.

00:18:18.600 People are out there trying to get theirs.

00:18:20.280 You know, and you ain't got to cripple nobody in your wake. 0.53

00:18:25.320 You know, you don't have to run around with a, with a, with a wheelbarrow of plaster of Paris.

00:18:32.200 And, you know, and just be crippling people in your wake and then putting them in the casts. 0.95

00:18:37.540 You know, and patching people up after you fucking them up to get yours. 0.95

00:18:41.140 You don't have to do that. 0.87

00:18:44.300 You know, you can make it, you can make your way.

00:18:47.540 You can make your way with others.

00:18:50.420 And that's what I realized, dude.

00:18:52.080 Because, you know, I get in some of these places and it's, you know, I just, you know, I notice the things that get me are, there's a lot of people out there that don't want to try.

00:19:06.500 You know, and it's unfortunate if they can't try, if they, you know, if there's something preventing them from making an effort, if they have fear.

00:19:12.840 But some people, they just, they don't want to.

00:19:15.420 They want to stay where they are.

00:19:19.040 And you can stay where you are physically, that's fine.

00:19:22.320 But you can't stay where you are everywhere.

00:19:24.540 I don't think that that's, I don't think that that's using the gift that we have here, this time here.

00:19:29.400 I don't think it is.

00:19:31.560 You know, if you're not trying to make a move, even emotionally.

00:19:35.920 You're not trying to stay in motion intellectually.

00:19:38.040 You know, you're not trying to challenge yourself in some type of way.

00:19:43.320 That's my thing, man.

00:19:45.900 You know, I can't, I can't, you know, I'm just realizing I don't have the, I don't have the time.

00:19:52.720 I don't have the effort to, to, to just mill around.

00:19:59.260 We got to be moving.

00:20:01.260 We have to be trying to grow.

00:20:04.300 You know, we have to, we got to.

00:20:06.560 Because if not, well, what are we doing?

00:20:09.620 You know, it's interesting.

00:20:10.540 They say that the universe expands constantly.

00:20:14.440 So I'm going to sit here and do nothing.

00:20:17.980 Huh? 0.91

00:20:18.900 Or I'm going to get out there and I'm going to go spelunk until I find a dang nudist calling it. 1.00

00:20:25.040 That's grilling up a bag of Johnson rats. 0.99

00:20:27.880 And you can see everybody's crotch at the same time. 0.99

00:20:31.280 Gang, gang. 0.56

00:20:33.300 I mean, if that ain't beauty, I don't know what is.

00:20:36.080 But it's about, I think that, I think that universe thing is just a clue for us.

00:20:39.640 You have to expand.

00:20:41.000 You got to grow.

00:20:43.000 You know, you got to grow.

00:20:45.560 There's too much opportunity these days to just completely stay stagnant.

00:20:50.880 And sometimes it's tough.

00:20:52.140 Look, it's easier said than done.

00:20:53.700 But the thing is, is just take one little step.

00:20:56.280 One little move in front of the other.

00:20:59.160 You know?

00:20:59.500 Because even old ant arms, even old ant arms came out to the show and got his laughter.

00:21:05.200 And got that Calamon lotion of love in his ears.

00:21:08.240 And that's what laughter is.

00:21:10.520 You know?

00:21:11.500 And that's what we got to do.

00:21:13.120 We got to stay.

00:21:14.880 We got to stay healing.

00:21:16.060 We got to stay moving forward.

00:21:18.080 You know?

00:21:18.520 We can do it.

00:21:19.300 We can do it, man.

00:21:20.200 But I had a great time and I appreciate that call.

00:21:23.380 But I went up there and I surprised Joey Diaz.

00:21:25.460 I know I'm in and out of things here, but that's how I am.

00:21:28.860 And especially, look, I'm trying to get settled.

00:21:30.660 Dude, I've been all over the place.

00:21:32.500 Last week I went to, I don't even know where.

00:21:37.060 And then Monday I came and went to, went over to Vegas.

00:21:41.760 And then we got Oklahoma.

00:21:43.300 And then this coming weekend I'll be in Calgary.

00:21:45.740 And that's Canada.

00:21:47.360 So, dude, I'm straight up jumping continents, baby.

00:21:50.980 Um, yeah, I'll be in Calgary.

00:21:53.340 And then I'll be at Timbler Brewing in Bakersfield next weekend.

00:21:56.640 And that is sold out, but they added a second show.

00:21:59.860 And, uh, so that's what's up.

00:22:01.740 What else?

00:22:02.240 But I went and saw Joey Diaz and man, he just, you know, he's that special level of human.

00:22:07.020 He's so multifaceted.

00:22:08.280 And we got to watch him, uh, tape his Netflix special.

00:22:12.080 And that was cool.

00:22:14.440 You know, because especially after all that hard work, there's that thing where you want that.

00:22:20.280 You know, you never know what's going to make a comedian or a person or a father or a businessman or a banker or a delivery boy.

00:22:31.220 You never know what they're, you know, what's the thing that's going to make them feel complete.

00:22:37.860 You never know.

00:22:38.820 You never know what's going to make them feel, you know, complete.

00:22:42.400 What's going to make them feel, you know, what that little thing is out there that's going to make them feel like, oh, I do my job well.

00:22:50.180 You know, it might be that you're, uh, you know, you might be somebody that, you know, um, you might be somebody that, that paints.

00:23:03.060 And everybody's trying to get you to paint this and paint that, you know, oh, won't you paint this picture of these apples, paint this bowl of fruit. 0.99

00:23:12.200 I'm shocked at the level of people that fucking paint fruit. 0.99

00:23:15.060 I mean, that's crazy when you think about it. 0.99

00:23:18.940 Think how many pictures of fruit are out there.

00:23:21.600 And every now and then somebody pick up some paints and some poster board and thinks they're going to do it different or better.

00:23:30.220 Uh, hello.

00:23:31.560 There's about 11 million pictures of fruit. 1.00

00:23:35.260 You fuck in Muppet. 1.00

00:23:39.120 Do you, are you a Muppet? 1.00

00:23:41.700 Do you have, uh, Jim Henson's hand up your ass? 1.00

00:23:44.680 Because they already have 11 million pictures of fruit and you're going to get out there and you're going to do that banana different. 0.99

00:23:50.780 I doubt that.

00:23:52.720 And so it's, you know, sometimes it's like, but you don't know when that painter, people tell him to paint this, paint that.

00:23:58.500 And you don't know for him and he might want to paint a house.

00:24:02.140 He might want to spray paint his stepmother. 1.00

00:24:04.220 You know, he might, he might want to wake old Janet up with a couple of, with that can of, uh, remember that spray paint? 0.99

00:24:11.620 It used to have a marble in it.

00:24:13.440 So you knew when somebody about to light you up, boy. 1.00

00:24:19.040 And then that shit, boy, dude, you could spray paint somebody's eyes shut. 1.00

00:24:26.220 They had this boy in our neighborhood growing up. 1.00

00:24:28.360 They called him dark Benjamin.

00:24:30.180 And, uh, it wasn't a black kid.

00:24:31.720 It was a, a boy and somebody spray painted. 1.00

00:24:34.700 They'd lacquered his fucking eyes shut so bad, dude. 0.98

00:24:36.980 He had, they were closed for about six weeks because his dad got pissed. 0.99

00:24:41.060 He didn't want anybody touching his son after that.

00:24:42.740 And he said, don't anybody touch him.

00:24:44.840 And the mom was like, well, you know, they shut it. 0.86

00:24:47.520 They, you know, they spray painted his eyes shut.

00:24:50.240 And the dad's like, I don't give a damn what they did.

00:24:53.280 Don't touch him. 0.94

00:24:54.220 And so then fricking, uh, dark Benjamin had to just chill out, bro. 0.89

00:25:01.060 You know, and he, and I remember his mom even, uh, he was probably eight years old. 0.98

00:25:07.440 His mom put him in a damn baby stroller and took him around for safety. 0.96

00:25:10.420 And then he hit a growth spurt, even while his dad was out of town just for about six 0.99

00:25:14.600 weeks, he hit a growth spurt and they put him on a little, uh, dolly, like one of those

00:25:19.460 little, um, a hand truck, one of those little dollies you use to move a bunch of boxes at

00:25:23.760 once where you set them and you lean that metal thing back and it kind of props them.

00:25:26.900 It's got two wheels and do dark Benjamin, his aunt, his mom and his aunt who was, you 0.98

00:25:32.600 know, honestly fully lesbian, they were pushing on, you know, they'd be pushing just wheeling 1.00

00:25:37.720 dark Benjamin around cause he had his eyes all caulked shut.

00:25:41.160 Um, you know, from, cause they spray painted over his eyes with one of those hard cans

00:25:45.400 of lacquer.

00:25:46.020 Hold on.

00:25:46.300 I got to turn the lights on in here.

00:25:49.760 All right, I'm back.

00:25:51.500 Uh, anyhow, what was I saying?

00:25:53.860 So, so yeah, you just never, uh, but you never know what somebody's, you know, what their,

00:25:59.460 what's their magnum opus?

00:26:01.820 What's the thing that makes them feel, oh, okay, I did it.

00:26:04.380 You know, it might be if you a pizza delivery boy for you, it might be, okay, if I get to

00:26:09.040 deliver pizza and then I get invited into a threesome or something, you know, or maybe

00:26:14.480 somebody lets me, you know, maybe somebody, the lady's going to lay there naked and let 1.00

00:26:18.720 me look at her junk while she have a couple slices, you know, it might be something like 0.99

00:26:22.740 that. 0.73

00:26:24.160 Um, you never know if for the painter person, it might be, okay, yeah, they paint somebody's

00:26:29.380 eyes shut or maybe they paint, you know, they paint, um, a whole street in their neighborhood.

00:26:35.300 They paint it yellow with a can of house paint.

00:26:37.920 So next thing you know, you got that eggshell, you got that eggshell yellow street out there.

00:26:42.900 You just never know for them.

00:26:45.060 That might be like, oh, the thing that's, that makes them feel complete.

00:26:47.600 And so for, yeah, for, for comedians, you don't know what it is.

00:26:52.280 For some comedians, it's going on tour.

00:26:54.200 Once they get to be out on tour, it's, you know, that's their, you know, they, they, they

00:26:59.860 had that Kerouac in them and they just wanted to be on tour and be free and, you know, had

00:27:04.540 that feeling of walking through the airport with their bag in their hand and showing up

00:27:08.680 into a new place to do comedy.

00:27:10.380 And, you know, that's their thing that makes them feel full and to other people, it may

00:27:16.280 be that they have to be on Madison square gardens, you know, when they got to be out there on

00:27:21.420 Madison square gardens doing it for some people, it may be that, you know, they just need to

00:27:28.240 perform at the, for the local garden club and they'll feel complete.

00:27:32.860 It's just, you don't know what somebody's, you know, what somebody's top gear is, what

00:27:37.480 somebody is, what their, what makes them feel complete, what answers that question, you

00:27:43.680 know, or, or, or acknowledges that fire in them, you know, what feeds that, how they

00:27:49.620 going to stop me, what they going to do about me, you know, until we get to certain parts

00:27:56.720 in our life and that gets fed a little bit.

00:27:59.980 But I could imagine, I don't know, but I could imagine that Joey Diaz doing a Netflix special

00:28:05.740 that that was, that that was something for him, you know, and I, and I, and for me, and

00:28:12.880 I could be wrong and I'm happy to be wrong, dude, been wrong most of my life, but I think

00:28:18.260 I felt that a little, that he was, you know, he just felt like it, like it, it didn't complete

00:28:24.160 him, but just like that, that it was a stamp of approval, you know, and not from his, look,

00:28:32.340 everybody, everybody, so many people know he's one of the greats, just this industry,

00:28:36.920 because this industry isn't, it's not about who's, who's good anymore, who's the best,

00:28:41.360 this industry's on a something else, they're doing something else, and, and I don't think

00:28:46.780 it's working as effectively, because now they're coming across the tracks, because they want

00:28:50.120 to talk to these real boys over here, and these real girls over here, and they want to talk

00:28:55.020 to people who, who, who actually have a real story to tell, they want to talk to people

00:29:00.840 who have a chip on their shoulder, because that's where it comes from, man, for me, that

00:29:05.780 humor, it comes out of, it comes, it's a necessity, you know, it's just, it's a dandruff, it's

00:29:16.600 a dandruff of my spirit, it's something that has to, that has to come off of me, and has

00:29:23.360 to come out of me, just for me to feel okay, so there it is, man, but that's a little bit,

00:29:29.740 I guess, of what's been happening this week, and I, I just had a great time, man, I, I just

00:29:35.560 had such a great time over there in, in Oklahoma, we went over to University of Arkansas, I got 0.75

00:29:42.600 to see Bill and Hillary's old fuck pad, you know, they had, the house were built, and 0.99

00:29:46.860 Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton, I guess, I mean, had sex at least once for Chelsea, you 0.99

00:29:54.860 know, and, but dude, you could tell, boy, when you're riding around that town, you could

00:29:59.500 feel that old Billy was definitely, because they have a lot of hills in that area, and

00:30:03.520 they got a lot of hay bales, and I bet they called them hay bills, because you could see

00:30:08.880 old Billy, old Billy Cleesey, William Clinton, slipping off behind a hay bale, you know what

00:30:17.220 I'm saying, and establishing some real jurisdiction back there.

00:30:20.820 Yeah, but it was beautiful, man, look, I'll tell you this, beautiful school, University

00:30:25.680 of Arkansas, I thought it was going to be like this, look, I had my druthers about it, I

00:30:29.000 had my, you know, I was like, oh, this place is going to be like this, or like this, I mean,

00:30:34.100 you're talking to a, you know, I went to Louisiana State University for a while, and so certainly

00:30:38.400 even were a rival, but man, I was, I was thoroughly impressed, beautiful school, a lot of, a lot

00:30:46.440 of, um, a lot of, uh, a lot of construction going on, a lot of different, um, gradients

00:30:54.880 of land, so you got, you know, a hill will just pop up out of nowhere, so it just adds

00:30:59.560 some different levels, you know, and hills, I mean, you know, you got a hill, the good

00:31:06.660 thing about a hill is something can happen behind it, when you're out there on the flat,

00:31:10.460 flat land, dude, you don't, you know what I'm saying, you ain't going to have that much

00:31:14.600 fun, but you got a hill, boy, even if you just got a, like I said, if you even just got 0.98

00:31:20.620 a hay bale, boy, if you got that little makeshift freaking land pimple, then damn, anything could 0.89

00:31:28.860 happen right behind that thing, boy, but it was nice to see, man, look, I'll say this, 0.99

00:31:33.400 Bill and Hillary had a nice little home over there, you know, they had a nice little home,

00:31:38.520 and I bet if you get up in there, they probably got some, uh, dirt, I bet they got some dirty

00:31:41.860 drawings, you know, hidden under the floorboards, a little bit of, uh, you know, some different

00:31:47.860 pictures of cooter and all of that, because I'll say this, I remember when I was young,

00:31:52.480 they had a man who, um, and I've told this on Joe Rogan's before, they had this dude named

00:31:58.180 Nick, and Nick for $4 would draw you a picture of some, you know, some sweet crotch for the 0.98

00:32:04.380 weekend, so on Thursday night, you give Nick your money, on Friday, he shows up, you know,

00:32:10.840 with that little hitter, with that baby sketch, you know, that sketch, uh, that'll, I mean,

00:32:16.460 this sketch will just, dude, even when you saw him pull the papers out of his pocket,

00:32:20.640 you'd get a little bit erect, you know, and so that was kind of scary, because you wanted

00:32:25.120 to get you a little picture and go look at it, and this dude could draw some serious,

00:32:30.600 you know, it was general, it was general, you know, I'm not trying to be crass, but it

00:32:35.200 was general labia, general whatever, you know, wasi, and he would draw it up, but man, if

00:32:41.320 you got that little, you got one of Nick's little $4 hitters, man, you'd use that thing 0.99

00:32:45.060 all weekend, at 13, 14 years old, dude, I'd rent out the bathroom at my house and just

00:32:51.160 stay in that thing all weekend, just learning about my body, uh, and so I bet, I bet, uh,

00:32:59.400 sweet Billy Clinton had a few of those hidden in the walls over there, because there's no 0.98

00:33:03.540 denying that that man, you know, prefers female genitalia to his own, and I think that that's 0.98

00:33:10.860 okay, too, I think that that's okay, I think it's obviously that he's in an arranged marriage

00:33:15.580 where he's allowed to do that sort of thing, or was allowed, anyway, I think it, you know,

00:33:23.120 these days, it's, uh, these guys are getting a little bit older, um, what else, man, I will

00:33:29.120 let you know that this episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza at 1811 Pico Boulevard,

00:33:34.080 uh, Gray Block has that salad pizza, and that's in Los Angeles, and they got all types of different

00:33:38.900 pizza, you know, they got the Bella Goat, you know, they got a couple of different items,

00:33:43.680 man, I'll read you one or two right here, they got them Calzones, they got them Beverages,

00:33:49.380 they got the Venice, the Deep Cheese, the Frenchie, they got the Hunter, the Buster,

00:33:55.140 spinach, button mushrooms, onions, tequila lime marinated chicken with mozzarella cheese

00:33:59.900 on a garlic pesto sauce, Gray Block Pizza, get that hitter, oh, let's take this call,

00:34:08.020 hey, Theo, uh, just want to get your thoughts on something, I've listened to a lot of your

00:34:12.600 podcasts, and I've noticed that, uh, that you always talk about how out in Hollywood and L.A.,

00:34:18.800 and it's hard for, uh, somebody from the South to kind of get accepted and get jobs, and, uh,

00:34:25.740 expect, and also the media kind of knocks on people from the South, but, um, I want to know

00:34:30.780 your thoughts that here in Georgia that they, uh, Hollywood films a ton of movies in Georgia,

00:34:37.240 and they have studios in Atlanta, uh, Marvel's done some stuff here, I know Tyler Perry's got a

00:34:43.020 huge studio here, and I just wanted to hear your thoughts on that, they knocked this out so much,

00:34:48.300 but they got no problems coming here and, uh, filming all their movies.

00:34:52.280 No, look, this is a great question, this is a great comment, I appreciate you calling about this.

00:34:57.760 You know, when I was growing up, an escape for me, I didn't like my life when I was growing up,

00:35:03.160 you know, and I didn't feel comfortable, you know, I grew up in an area that was a lot of, uh, poverty,

00:35:09.000 and I'm not, you know, I'm not looking for any, um, sympathy here, or empathy, I don't know which

00:35:14.760 one, actually, I don't know the difference between them, but, uh, but, you know, I grew up scared,

00:35:20.740 you know, they had a lot of dangerous white kids around me, a lot, you know, and they had a lot of 1.00

00:35:24.820 dangerous black kids around me, you know, because when you're, when you're in a poor, 0.99

00:35:27.880 poor area, and there's, and there's, you know, extreme poverty, I don't care if those kids are 1.00

00:35:32.600 black or white, a lot of them can be some real assholes, and, uh, and it was scary, it was scary, 0.99

00:35:39.840 dude, I'm not afraid to say that shit now as an adult, man, it wasn't, it wasn't cool, 0.99

00:35:44.000 you know, it was like staying at a Ramada, so it, uh, so yeah, it was, it was alarming, man, 0.98

00:35:51.180 and I used television and, you know, things I would see that Hollywood created as like,

00:35:55.160 oh, that's, you know, that's my life, that's what I could have, I, you know, I love storytelling,

00:36:00.400 I loved all of that, and so, you know, eventually, I, you know, I ended up in Hollywood, and I ended

00:36:07.220 up out here, and I ended up thinking, oh, well, this is a place I can come to all this time, I

00:36:10.600 could go there, and, you know, you know, it always seems like this place where you can go there and

00:36:15.200 make your dreams come, become a reality, and, you know, everybody's welcome, and this and that,

00:36:19.880 and then I get there, and, you know, it's been tough, I mean, there's no southern accent, you

00:36:27.640 cannot find a southern accent on television, I don't feel like, I mean, especially on network TV,

00:36:34.680 name one, name one actor with a southern accent on network television, in the past 20 years,

00:36:43.020 I can't even name one, and I'm, and I'm totally happy to be wrong, there may be one or two,

00:36:47.420 I mean, Blake Shelton, you know, he's not an actor, but it's like Reba, you had Reba,

00:36:54.640 which is one of the best shows ever, but it's just, you know, it doesn't feel super welcome,

00:37:00.560 and then you have a lot of, you know, a lot of celebrities make fun of people from other areas

00:37:05.140 of the country that don't live in LA, or don't live in New York, or don't have a lot of money,

00:37:10.320 you know, they make fun of people like, where I'm from, you know, and that's, and it just,

00:37:14.940 I don't know, it has left a sore taste in my mouth, you know, but it doesn't mean I'm gonna

00:37:20.060 stop, you know, trying to achieve some of my dreams, or achieve some of my goals, but at the

00:37:25.520 same time, you're right, brother, that Hollywood at the same time, because, you know, California lets

00:37:30.560 so many, you know, they're so open to everyone, and so open to this or that, or whatever, that

00:37:36.020 they're, that they don't get the tax breaks, it's too expensive to shoot here anymore, because

00:37:41.820 the state's, you know, the budget's so bad, I mean, they're probably, who knows what they 0.95

00:37:46.420 spent all the money doing, I don't know, probably cleaning up all the shit in San Francisco off 0.97

00:37:51.460 of the street, dude, have you been to San Francisco? 0.99

00:37:53.980 Well, I don't even recommend it, it's just people, just judgment and shit on the street, 0.86

00:37:59.620 but I'll say this, man, but then, so then, they'll go to our southern cities and get the 0.97

00:38:05.520 tax breaks, happily, oh, they'll happily come over to Atlanta and get those tax breaks, 0.98

00:38:10.680 they'll happily go shoot in Wilmington, New Orleans, you know, it's like they just use

00:38:16.620 you, that's the thing, it just, so I don't know, I guess I just feel a little bit, I don't

00:38:22.240 know, I don't feel taken advantage of, but I feel like once you get to Hollywood and you

00:38:26.080 see what's really going on, you see sometimes the hypocrisy of it, and it's a little bit

00:38:32.040 sad, you know, and I don't like sometimes how, it's the same way how the news always makes

00:38:37.720 fun of, you know, the South, they always say these people are so racist, these people

00:38:41.920 are this or that, but, you know, but, and I've said this before, but a lot of black people

00:38:50.180 had to beg to be on the Academy Awards two years ago, there's tons of Latino people in 1.00

00:38:56.940 America who aren't included in shit, but they don't even raise that big of a deal about it, 0.99

00:39:02.280 because they're usually just having a great time, but man, it's just like, I don't know, 0.98

00:39:08.760 I just wish, you know, we would just look at it the way it really is, that none of us 0.92

00:39:14.900 are perfect, and we've, a lot of shit's messed up, and that this is a dirty business out here, 0.75

00:39:20.940 you know, so it's just a matter of how I conduct my own business, that's all I try and worry 0.95

00:39:24.960 about, but it is, I think it is messed up, you know, a lot of these, a lot of, a lot of

00:39:31.120 Hollywood, you know, elites will make fun of the places that were, where we are from, but

00:39:37.220 then they'll come there and get those tax breaks, won't they, and that's one thing I've realized,

00:39:41.880 man, that money isn't loyal, and so I'm just gonna keep doing me, and I'm gonna keep doing

00:39:47.120 my thing, you know, and, you know, and sometimes I realize I gotta take back a little bit of

00:39:56.000 that childhood angst that I had, you know, I gotta keep a little bit of that edge, what

00:40:00.520 are they gonna do about me, because be honest, I don't think they expected a kid like me to

00:40:05.960 get out here, I really don't, I don't think they expected a kid off of McGee Street to get

00:40:15.280 out here, and be on the top stages coming in after, you know, some of these big cats,

00:40:21.740 and these big dogs, and perform, you know, before and after some of the greats, I don't

00:40:27.200 think they expected it, you know, and I'm not saying that I'm anything special, but I'm

00:40:33.520 saying that I'm here, you know, and I know a lot of great people in this town, and I know

00:40:41.260 a lot of great people that work hard and wanna do good stuff, but I don't like that thing

00:40:46.400 where they look at me, or they hear the, you know, my southern accent, I mean, you wanna

00:40:51.260 talk about people not being welcome, if there's one group on television or two, you know, I'd

00:40:58.320 say it seems to me Vietnamese people and southern, anyone with a southern accent, I mean, you don't 0.65

00:41:07.900 see a lot of them on television, so, just seems, seem pretty much, you know, like, if it, is this

00:41:18.480 for everybody? Nah, is it? Nah, I mean, but it's just crazy to get all the way this far, and then

00:41:26.900 look around and be like, damn, I'm not, am I even allowed here? Shit ain't for everybody, so, but you gotta 0.99

00:41:33.900 make your own way, you gotta make your whole, you gotta make your fold, you know, and I think 0.99

00:41:38.480 some of the ways you do it, you know, and that's one thing I gotta keep, I can't, you know, you can

00:41:43.580 have a chip on your shoulder, but you can't really, because it, you know, you have to want, you have

00:41:50.420 to want the best for everybody, and you can't work always the best from a place of anger, and that's

00:41:55.860 one thing I've learned over the time, is that I think I used to be a little too angry, so now, most of the

00:42:01.400 time, I try and look more at the positive, you know, and I try to think more about the

00:42:04.760 possibility, you know, and I, and I don't try to think as much, they don't want me, I try to think

00:42:10.480 that this is going to be a little bit harder for me, but thankfully, you know, the life that my

00:42:17.740 higher power has put me through is, it's, it's been a little tricky here and there, you know, and I

00:42:23.760 think that's one thing that I'm grateful for, because then I can relate to other people who their life

00:42:27.400 has been tricky, you know, and even if it's been different, tricky, you know, I'm talking to a

00:42:32.900 buddy of mine the other day, through AA, a black friend of mine, and that's all I'll say, you know,

00:42:38.060 because you're not supposed to share a lot about him, but while he's talking, man, I'm looking in

00:42:42.740 his eyes, dude, and I can feel like, just this connect, like, just like a crazy connection, man,

00:42:49.080 and I'm not saying nobody was trying to get their nuts out or anything like that, or put softener on

00:42:53.460 each other's bodies or anything like that, you know, or sometimes they used to have these two

00:42:57.780 gay men by us, and we'd catch them, sometimes they'd be doing a little bit of dust or burning, 1.00

00:43:02.380 you know, a couple packets of glass in a little pipe outside, and they would get some of that

00:43:07.740 downy freshener, and you'd see them out there in the backyard at night, they'd put a couple towels

00:43:12.600 on the ground and put downy freshener on each other's bodies, boy, and look, the only reason I 0.99

00:43:17.760 watched is because that shit smelled good, remember when you were a kid? 1.00

00:43:20.280 Dude, if you grew up in my neighborhood, you didn't have parents, dude, you had the smell 0.99

00:43:24.760 of downy freshener, I mean, if I smelled that downy freshener, man, it made me feel like

00:43:30.100 everything was okay, you know, I'd get that hit of downy freshener, and I felt like everything

00:43:35.440 was okay, man, I remember, you know, my father wasn't, you know, and I get sometimes a little

00:43:43.700 bit into this kind of stuff, and I don't want anything to be, you know, talk about family

00:43:48.100 stuff sometimes, I don't know if I could talk about some of this emo stuff too much,

00:43:51.900 but, you know, my father, one of the best memories that I have, or one, you know, thinking

00:43:57.540 about smells and how they take care of us at times, you know, and we'd see those man,

00:44:04.880 bruh, double Ricky, bruh, because both these dudes were named Ricky, these gay men, and they

00:44:10.300 were lovers, I think, or something, you know, and they were both real, real lean, because

00:44:15.060 they were out there, you know, these were rest area, these were a couple of rest area

00:44:19.300 bad boys, you'd see them out there by the interstate being bad boys, you know, and they

00:44:23.260 was smoking glass, and one of them worked up actually at a, you know, one of them just

00:44:29.500 rode a bicycle all the time, I don't know if that was a job, but he did it, and the other

00:44:34.540 one worked at auto body, you know, beating rust off of catalytic converters and shit like

00:44:40.600 that, making recyclables, you know, trying to get things, enough rust off of them for

00:44:46.000 them to be considered recyclable, so I don't know if that's also a job either, but anyhow,

00:44:50.880 you know, we would, oh, but another smell, I remember, you know, I mean, I've said this

00:45:00.000 before, the hardest working man I've ever known was my mom, and, and she had, she had

00:45:07.240 this cow skin, this cow skin rug in her room, and this is before animal rights, this is when 0.87

00:45:13.860 animals didn't care, that a lot of animals believed that they were here to sacrifice

00:45:17.700 their lives so the rest of us could eat and stay warm and stuff like that, and a lot of

00:45:22.740 animals still do, there are some animals that don't think that, and they, you know, were

00:45:26.400 raised in hell, but there are some that, that are still okay with that, because, you

00:45:30.820 know, animals believe in reincarnation, do you know that, yeah, that's the one thing

00:45:34.100 that's pretty cool about animals, they believe that when they die, they come right back as

00:45:37.540 another animal, and even a cuter animal, so, I mean, if I were, you know, if I were a armadillo, 0.98

00:45:45.740 I'd straight up, I'd take my own life, boy, you know, and come back as a damn juice, 0.96

00:45:50.420 beautiful little koala, but, but my mom had this cow skin rug in her room, or, and I 1.00

00:45:59.140 remember sometimes I'd lay in there, and my mom would, you know, my mom worked so much,

00:46:04.100 the only time I get to spend a lot of time with her was, at night, I would watch her

00:46:07.620 get ready, brush her teeth, and floss her teeth, and, you know, she, you know, have her 1.00

00:46:12.860 nightgown on, and she'd put on, you know, lotion, and just be like a lady, you know, do lady

00:46:17.120 type of stuff, nothing wild or anything perverted, you know, and, but I would lay

00:46:22.800 there on that rug, and I'd put my body, my face up next to that cow skin, next to that 1.00

00:46:27.760 hide, and I'd inhale that smell, and there was just that, that leather smell, you know,

00:46:34.580 that's, that manly, that leather, you know, just that, you know, the embodiment of

00:46:41.680 Clint, you know, like a Clint Eastwood, or the Ponderosa, or, you know, Montana, anything

00:46:47.020 that seemed manly or virile, it came into my senses through that hide, and it almost,

00:46:54.520 it filled my brain almost with like a father figure type of smell, and I remember at those

00:47:01.220 moments were some of the moments that I felt most, like familial, if that makes any sense,

00:47:08.600 most okay, you know, most part of, you know, like I had two moons, you know, like I had,

00:47:17.620 you know, like paint, like it was just the most time where I felt like both my parents were very

00:47:21.340 present, and that was when, you know, in the evenings when I would see my mother, you know,

00:47:26.060 in a very womanly way, you know, you know, she'd have put her hair up, or, you know, and, you know, 0.99

00:47:34.180 my women would put, you know, nothing perverted, but just, you know, she'd be in her night robe, 1.00

00:47:39.140 and, you know, you'd smell like, you know, lotion, arm lotion, and all of that, and, and,

00:47:46.860 and then I'd have that same smell of the, of the hide from the cow, and it would make me feel

00:47:53.420 parented, if that means anything, and I know that's bizarre, but, you know, you just don't know where a

00:47:59.060 smell is going to come into you, and how it's going to resonate inside of you, and make you feel,

00:48:04.000 but, but yeah, so, you know, but I, I got to live these days out here, and not, not come from a place

00:48:10.920 of anger, because I don't want to come from that place anyway, but every now and then, dude, I, I would

00:48:16.300 be lying if I say that I didn't feel unwelcome here sometimes, but I'm not going to give up, and

00:48:24.420 because, you know why, because I don't want there to be, here's what I don't think, I don't think

00:48:30.180 that you teach anybody anything by making them feel unwelcome, you know, I don't think you, man,

00:48:37.240 I remember, especially whenever the election was going on and stuff, dude, I mean, people looked

00:48:44.300 at me like I was, you know, like I, like I was, like, you know, just people that had never even

00:48:50.720 been to the towns I'm from, or the places I've lived, or the places you might have lived, people

00:48:56.840 that have never even been there, look, just say, acting like people that are from these places are 0.99

00:49:02.040 shit, or aren't as good as them, or aren't worth, you know, being around them, because they might have 0.99

00:49:08.660 some different thoughts, or different beliefs, or they might just live in a different world, 0.99

00:49:13.160 you know, it's, it, you know, it, and I don't want that, that's what I don't want, I want there

00:49:23.080 to be, because that doesn't help anybody, because now, if there's a kid sitting at home, where I was

00:49:28.180 sitting, and he's watching, and he's listening to, you know, one of his favorite celebrities, and

00:49:32.700 they're telling him that the people from his town, or his parents, just because they voted a certain

00:49:37.080 way, or they behave a certain way, or not behave, but, because I don't mean behavior, but, because

00:49:43.200 they're from an area where, you know, that is more conservative, or has more, I don't know, 0.76

00:49:52.220 fucking owns an animal that lives outdoors, what about that, has a dog that sleeps on the porch, 0.97

00:49:57.700 that suddenly, that they're bad people, because that doesn't help that kid, you know, that doesn't 0.99

00:50:03.880 help the next me, that's somewhere, that doesn't help him, it doesn't help him, in fact, it just

00:50:09.980 makes him angry, it just makes him angry, and if he's already has a lot of, like, questions in his

00:50:15.360 mind, then it, not only does it make him angry at the celebrity that he cared about, but then it also

00:50:19.160 makes him angry, it could even make him angry at his parents, and so then where does he have,

00:50:25.300 you know, because the, or what if he used Hollywood as an escape, you know, some of these shows,

00:50:29.460 and now his favorite, his favorite celebrities are judging him, it just, it doesn't do anything,

00:50:33.880 there's no solution there, there's no solution, I don't think, anyway, and I'm okay to be wrong

00:50:40.340 with that, so, you know, I want a kid, if they see me, or they hear me talking about it, they're

00:50:47.040 like, oh, this kid can do it, you know, this kid sounds a little bit like me, you know, because,

00:50:55.080 look, I get it, people live in different Americas, dude, they are different, you know, and I,

00:51:03.120 and I even go, it's like, you know, people talk about, remember when they had the statues

00:51:06.580 in Louisiana, and they were taking the statues down in New Orleans, and I can totally see

00:51:11.460 it, I see it, you know, like, if there's a statue, and it represents a, you know, if

00:51:18.480 the general was a slave owner, or something like that, and, you know, and half the city's

00:51:22.040 population is black, and that makes, I get that, I understand it, it doesn't make a ton of

00:51:28.040 sense, but that's also, I remember growing up in that area, and we would go meet at the, 0.88

00:51:35.440 at the Robert E. Lee statue, and everybody would meet up, and have fun together, black 0.97

00:51:40.980 or white, and it was at the statue, nobody there gave a fuck, so, then it's just this 0.96

00:51:50.820 outside judgment comes in, and look, sometimes, you know, and then maybe sometimes it's an evolution 0.98

00:51:56.180 of time, and, you know, different, another generation starts to have a different perspective,

00:52:01.180 and that's fine, I get it, you know, and since the statues have been taken down, I don't think

00:52:07.440 most people give a dang, but I just don't like some of that judgment when people who don't

00:52:13.160 live somewhere start saying, oh, this is how it needs to be over there, you know, just

00:52:19.680 because those people live by the water, as Bill Burr says, just because you think, just

00:52:23.740 because you live by the water, you think you're, you know it all, it's just not fair, it's

00:52:28.340 not, because you don't, you don't know what it's like there, you don't live there, you

00:52:33.060 live where you live, and if just you're bored because your life's so comfortable, oh, lucky

00:52:38.100 you, you know, and I live here now, so it's, I mean, it's been interesting, man, I didn't

00:52:44.700 mean to go so deep on this, but, you know, things happen, man, let's take a call right here

00:52:49.940 on the hotline, dude, I got some, this, we have the best calls ever, I believe, have

00:52:54.780 come in on this episode, I'm so grateful for anybody that has hit the hotline, you

00:52:59.060 can always hit the hotline if you have any thoughts or suggestions or commentary on anything

00:53:07.140 that's being discussed on this podcast, don't feel like you don't have a voice, the number

00:53:12.660 is 985-664-9503, this episode is brought to you by Spectre, Spectre is a binary options

00:53:21.620 trading platform that takes the middleman out of trading, no more middleman, no more

00:53:26.900 sheisty guy showing up in a camel hair suit, you know, with a stack of money on a stick

00:53:32.040 on his back, no more of that, okay, it's all crypto based, so all transactions happen on

00:53:38.660 the blockchain, straight off the blockchain, meaning there is no broker that could potentially

00:53:43.660 rip you off or charge excessive fees, no more brokers, try the demo today at the link below

00:53:49.000 and in the episode notes, it comes with $60,000 in cryptocurrency for you to play with, you

00:53:54.700 want to trade US dollars for Japanese yen, get out there, you just got to click the Spectre

00:54:00.680 link, you want to trade British pounds for euros, click the Spectre link, you want to trade

00:54:07.180 dollars for cryptos or just learn more about cryptocurrencies and trading in general, click

00:54:11.980 the Spectre link, try the demo with the Spectre link below and in the episode notes, and within

00:54:18.280 minutes you will feel like a Wall Street trader with all the tools that the big dogs use, once

00:54:23.880 you get the hang of it, sign up for a verified account and start making real trades with real

00:54:28.420 money, sorry America, real trades are for outside of the United States only, but you can practice

00:54:34.300 as much as you want still, try the demo, play with the simulated $60,000 and see if you have

00:54:38.880 what it takes at the Spectre link below and in the episode notes, all right let's get into a call

00:54:47.300 right now, here we go, what's up Theo, this is Kelby out here in Kentucky man, in southern Kentucky,

00:54:54.040 wow, Kelby in southern Kentucky, I didn't know there was a southern Kentucky really, that's

00:55:01.240 a double entendre, thank you for calling Kelby onward, and I just had a question on what you

00:55:08.760 might be thinking, I am 23 years old and I have, you know, developed a little bit of baldness 0.98

00:55:17.320 on the top, okay boy, you got that baby's ass on the top, huh, that's beautiful dude, 0.98

00:55:23.040 dude in some countries that's a sign of, you know, hope, I think in Japan that's a sign 0.99

00:55:30.360 of hope, if you don't have any hair on your head people, you know, people think, oh man

00:55:35.380 I hope, I hope he's okay with that, maybe, onward, and I decided to shave my head about

00:55:42.780 a year ago and I've been doing it ever since, now since then, people who once knew me have 0.94

00:55:48.240 asked me questions such as, am I racist now, damn dude, that's, I don't mean to laugh bro, 0.80

00:55:56.860 that is hilarious, yeah, look, this is, bro, this goes perfectly in what we're talking about, 0.98

00:56:02.080 just because you have a southern accent now, and because you want to have a haircut, suddenly

00:56:06.920 you're racist, you know, that's like people, just because they see my haircut, they ask, 0.62

00:56:12.460 am I a lesbian, totally messed up, let's hear more, or made jokes that I'm a skinhead, and 0.98

00:56:20.600 I think, you know, maybe they're involved a little bit in the dark arts, because who's

00:56:25.960 to be judging me after I just changed my appearance a little, it's so true, man, it's so

00:56:31.960 true, you know, just because you gotta, how many options you got, you about hit it, you 0.94

00:56:37.820 about hit it, how many options you got, Kirby, sorry, it's not Kirby, what is it, damn, I don't

00:56:45.620 want to go back and check, let me think, Kirby, nope, it's, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to butcher

00:56:53.700 your name here, but I sometimes like to guess things instead of, you know, just check what

00:56:57.960 they are, hey, Theo, this is, uh, Kerb, um, Kerb, um, Berkey, it's not Berkey, Berkey, 0.67

00:57:08.500 nah, uh, but yeah, dude, sorry, I can't guess it, but yeah, it's fucked up, right, just because 0.96

00:57:14.080 you have a certain style of cut, now suddenly, uh, you know, you're a white supremacist, or, 0.99

00:57:20.340 you know, you're gonna start a gang in prison, just because you can't fucking grow any hair, 0.98

00:57:24.500 just because God don't want you to have hair, doesn't mean he then wants you to be part of 0.97

00:57:30.380 some vile group, let's hear more, and, you know, my accent doesn't help, and I know that,

00:57:35.940 but I just wanted your opinion on young guys who maybe have to make a big change in their

00:57:43.380 appearance that wasn't their choice, but just something that our old mother nature had planned

00:57:49.180 for him. And look, man, I'll say this, I think, I think it's probably, A, I bet at a certain point

00:57:56.480 it's relaxing to have that hair, to have no hair, you know, because it's, in a way, it's kind of,

00:58:02.440 it's almost just like letting your hair grow and just go anywhere, it's like the opposite of that,

00:58:06.540 but it's the same thing, you know, you don't have to worry about it. Dude, I used to worry so much,

00:58:11.420 um, brother Kirby, I'm gonna call you brother Kirby now, because I don't, you know, I don't want to go

00:58:16.440 back and listen, because I don't want to, I'll go listen, all right, what is it? What's up, Theo,

00:58:24.240 this is Kelby out here in Kentucky, man, and, sir, Kelby, thank you, Kelby, I'm sorry, um, yeah,

00:58:32.140 Kelby, it's, uh, you know, it's not, it's, it's messed up, you know, that's just how you're gonna be,

00:58:39.700 but I bet it is relaxing, because I noticed when I start, I used to have a regular haircut,

00:58:43.640 man, clean cut, and I was always trying, I always felt like I had to look a certain way,

00:58:48.040 and my, you know, and I was thinking, oh, I wish, you know, I mean, I wish my neck was longer,

00:58:52.780 and I still wish that my neck was just a, you know, just a little bit longer, not much,

00:58:57.120 and I've actually even kind of figured it out, I think I almost, pretty much just wish about

00:59:00.500 three-eighths of an inch, but, but, you know, I had all these little things, and it was just so

00:59:06.020 stressful, you know, and I always, I'm always, you know, I got a big nose, and I got big ears,

00:59:11.500 and I got, you know, my eyes look like I don't know a lot, if you look, if you look in my eyes,

00:59:18.160 you know, it just, I got all these things that made me feel inferior, you know, and I just,

00:59:24.740 and I was always just standing in a way to, oh, let me, uh, stand up straight, and, uh, just put your

00:59:32.880 chin out a little, so you have a little more chin, and, um, and, uh, don't, don't, uh, look at anything,

00:59:40.200 like, like, in the center of your face, because you'll look cross-eyed, just all these things,

00:59:45.040 just so I could try and appear normal, and then, one day, man, that all got lifted off of me, 0.98

00:59:52.260 and I just said, I don't give a dime, and I just let this shit roll out of my head, 0.90

01:00:03.600 I just let my hair grow out, man, and I just made sure that I was brushing my teeth, 0.94

01:00:09.300 and that's when I started feeling okay, but, yeah, sometimes we have to change our appearance,

01:00:14.320 you know, and sometimes, you know, God changes our appearance, or, or the world around us changes

01:00:18.720 our appearance, or, you know, our, our life just changes our appearance, and we got to adapt,

01:00:24.820 and, you know, you might lose a leg, and suddenly, you got to tie off a lot of your pants, you know,

01:00:29.280 or you got to, you know, go to that pants, you know, that website that's just one side of,

01:00:34.120 of pants, but then you can get pants, you know, you can cut, or you could cut your original pants

01:00:40.040 into, um, you know, you can, uh, you can cut them in half, and just kind of have, you know,

01:00:47.720 and have two pairs of pants out of one pair of pants, almost, you can't really, though,

01:00:52.560 because you don't have the top part, but, but, you know, it's like, when we got to make those

01:00:57.160 adjustments, man, you got to do it, and in the end, it's about you feeling okay with it,

01:01:02.920 you know, when you're, when you, when you go bald, when you go that full natural,

01:01:06.780 there's a lot of fun things you can do, you could do a scented lotion,

01:01:10.560 you could do a mural, you could do some art, you could do a tattoo, and then, you know,

01:01:16.500 over the parts where the hair is going to grow back, so then you got that tattoo, but you also,

01:01:20.600 you know, your, you know, your hair is going to grow back over some of it,

01:01:23.740 so you could do something fancy like that, you could do Christmas earrings,

01:01:27.160 you can do some, you know, if you have your ears pierced, you can do beautiful Christmas earrings,

01:01:32.340 and do that, and be that party boy with them bells off his lobes,

01:01:35.680 so there's different options, there's different specialty, there's different specialty options

01:01:39.960 that you can do, and I hope you find some, some peace around there, let's hear a little bit more

01:01:45.260 of your call here, but, yeah, if, if you can give me any insight on that, I'd appreciate it, man,

01:01:52.340 and I, I really appreciate your podcast, I recently found it, and it's, it's did a lot of good for me

01:01:57.340 in trying to, uh, understand some of these things I've been thinking about.

01:02:02.040 And you know what you're saying right there, man, that I love to hear is thinking about.

01:02:07.160 Because that's what we got to be doing, Kelby, we have to be thinking about stuff.

01:02:10.780 You know, one thing I will notice, as much as there's so much, like, judgment about places

01:02:14.760 that aren't, you know, I notice there's a lot of judgment, man, I noticed it in San Francisco last

01:02:19.500 week. Dude, San Francisco, that place is, dude, for, I never felt as much judgment in my life

01:02:27.640 walking around there. L.A. has this kind of, like, you're not, you're too rich, uh, people

01:02:33.100 are too rich, they make you feel less than. But this other thing was happening in San Francisco

01:02:37.320 where it felt, and not everywhere in the Bay, I'm not saying that. I was out in Alameda

01:02:43.880 and people seemed down, you know, and people seemed a little bit more normal. I'm saying

01:02:47.740 in San Francisco, you know, and you had, first of all, it's so expensive there that even 0.99

01:02:55.900 if you, fuck, if you get locked out of your house for an hour, you might not be able to 0.99

01:03:00.180 afford to get back in. If you lock, if you lose your keys. So there's an element of that 1.00

01:03:05.180 going on where it's definitely, you know, it's way too expensive. So they, you know, for

01:03:11.900 as welcoming as it is, you, you're only welcome if you got money. Look, if you don't have money,

01:03:17.760 you ain't welcome. You know what I'm saying? That's like I was in, I was in, uh, um, Hawaii

01:03:25.880 two weeks ago, four, seven weeks ago, and they had a, uh, a TARDIS there and they had

01:03:32.040 an endangered TARDIS. And I, I went right up to it. You know, some lady's like, back 0.98

01:03:37.140 up, back up. She said, if you touch it, it's a $5,000 fine. If you touch that TARDIS

01:03:43.660 and I'm like, damn, so only rich people can touch it. That's all that is, you know? And 0.99

01:03:52.560 I don't mean that in a, I'm just said, that's the facts. You know, people price themselves

01:03:58.060 out so much. So then you have a bunch of people having to spend all this money to live somewhere

01:04:01.880 and they just seemed angry. They just seemed angry. I never felt as much kind of anger in

01:04:07.540 the air. But, but just as much as they look at places that don't want to seem progressive,

01:04:13.920 like places where I'm from, there's a thing that I don't like about places. Some of the

01:04:18.560 places where I'm from is people that don't want to be progressive in their thoughts.

01:04:22.700 We have to continue to think. We have to continue to think about different ways and not just

01:04:30.340 get set where we are. And do I have an answer on how to do that? Nah, man, I don't. I don't

01:04:37.660 really. But a lot of times if we can't think for ourselves or we can't find a different way,

01:04:42.060 sometimes just listening to somebody else that's different from us, you know, that can help

01:04:45.440 us a little bit. We might not agree with it, but we might get, if we get a little piece

01:04:49.460 of something from them, you know, but that's what I liked about this call, Kelby, is that 0.98

01:04:54.020 you're thinking, you know, you're not just sitting there thinking, fuck, you know, I'm 1.00

01:04:57.380 a bald-headed wildcat. I'm going to go join, you know, some type of damn, you know, you 1.00

01:05:02.840 know, I'm going to go to prison. Now, some people, they lose all their hair. They're like, 0.99

01:05:05.520 fuck, I need to go to prison now and join a cult or something or be a man's lover just 1.00

01:05:10.520 because, so it fits with my bald head, you know, where I need to be, you know, what other 1.00

01:05:18.800 job is somebody that's often kind of bald? Oh, there's always that bald guy that works

01:05:25.440 on the airlines. He's a male flight attendant. Some bald men will be like, oh, you know, I

01:05:30.060 lost all my hair. Now I need to, you know, suddenly start dating men and work for an airline.

01:05:34.940 But you're not doing that. You're just saying, hey, I lost all my hair. Now let me think.

01:05:38.480 Let me think about when I, you know, I don't like that people judge me just because I have

01:05:43.320 a Southern accent, man. It's the same type of shit where they, it's so many people saying 0.99

01:05:49.000 don't judge, don't judge. But then the second you see the, they take the low hanging fruit 1.00

01:05:54.240 like it's easy to be poor and white, man. It makes me upset sometimes, but, but that's

01:06:01.420 okay. You know, that's part of our journey, man. That's part of our journey is, uh, and we

01:06:07.060 all have it. And that's where I try to relate with people on is on their journey, man. You

01:06:11.940 know, but let's, uh, let's get another call right here. Here we go.

01:06:16.920 Hey, Theo, I had a, uh, self-esteem question for you, man. So.

01:06:22.040 Okay. Thanks for calling.

01:06:23.340 Oh, and in middle school, I gained a whole bunch of weight. I was a heavy boy. Uh, I'm

01:06:28.360 from the South as well. When, when I gained.

01:06:31.020 Wow. A lot of Southerners today. Um, thank you for calling. You get, you gained some weight

01:06:35.180 in middle school. Let's go. A lot of weight. I developed, uh, breast. Oh, boy. Dude, I'll

01:06:42.600 tell you this story. You're making me think about this right now. And I'm not, I'm, um,

01:06:46.820 I'm not trying to interrupt you, but I'm going to, I'm going to interrupt you for a second,

01:06:50.360 man. They had this big boy when I was growing up and dude, he got them first. He got them

01:06:56.760 tots first, you know, and had one girl in our school that had them, but she was, uh, you 0.76

01:07:02.860 know, her family was, you know, heavily with the Lord and their dad locked, you know, they

01:07:07.200 kept, they got all the kids locked up in the yard. And about a year and a half later, I

01:07:11.640 felt, ended up feeling her breath through the book, through a barbed wire fence, you

01:07:15.380 know, catching that tat, you know, catching that tatay with my palm, just palming down

01:07:20.540 that fricking young, I don't even know if it was a tit yet, but it was going to be a 0.95

01:07:24.200 tit, you know, it was on a girl. So, and that still counts. And she let me touch that warm 0.98

01:07:29.300 lump and we were both children. So that's totally legal.

01:07:33.760 But I remember I used to go sleep at my buddy's house because he got tits kind of 1.00

01:07:37.960 first, you know, and he was a bigger boy, but man, I'd sleep over there, dude. And my, 0.85

01:07:43.400 dude, I swear, man, my penis would get so hard, bro. Not at him, but at the tits. And I would 1.00

01:07:48.160 even put my hands like this because I, so I wouldn't see the rest of his body. I would

01:07:52.740 just see the breasts, you know, because I wasn't thinking about men. I was just thinking

01:07:58.440 about tits, you know? And so I would just see it, you know, I would just make a little 1.00

01:08:05.500 kind of squint area where I could see them big, beautiful, you know, them just flash bulbs

01:08:12.220 of straight up, you know, them straight up leche duffels, you know, them beautiful bags.

01:08:18.400 And that's, and I would love that, man. And that's, man, I would just get so keyed up and

01:08:22.240 fired up. And I remember I'd get so erect sometimes as a child, I'd pass out. I'd be unconscious

01:08:27.340 because I would get, you know, cause I'm thinking that, you know, I, I got the, I'm

01:08:32.360 that, I got that strong, you know, I got, um, I got, it's not really a baby arm. I got,

01:08:39.000 it's like two baby's arms and his legs and he's standing straight up with his arms and

01:08:43.540 legs like that, you know, just in a straight line. I got that, I got that capacity. I got

01:08:48.600 that cock-pacity. And so when that thing takes on the blood, when it doesn't all call for 0.95

01:08:52.780 that blood and that hemoglobin do, when everything rushes into daddy's, you know, into

01:08:58.000 that big, into that ballast tank, the rest of me kind of sometimes will just faint. I

01:09:03.040 used to get erect and faint a lot as a child, but I remember first breaths I ever saw on

01:09:08.040 a beautiful, thick boy in my neighborhood and a friend of mine, he was. And, um, and I'll

01:09:14.080 say this, man, that there's nothing wrong with that. Let's hear more.

01:09:16.980 Man titty. They've been there ever since. You know, man titty.

01:09:21.340 Okay, you got the man titty. 0.60

01:09:22.220 I've been there ever since. I'm 27 now. Uh, I've lost a lot of weight. Uh, even in

01:09:28.180 the past, in the past year, I've lost 40 pounds.

01:09:31.740 Wow. Congratulations, man. I can't even imagine that. I can't even imagine the, um, the stick-to-it-iveness

01:09:37.680 it's taken to do that. So I hope you feel a lot of pride in yourself, man. I hope that,

01:09:42.600 you know, people say to me a lot, Theo, you should take a moment and think of, uh, you know,

01:09:46.980 where you were before in certain aspects of your life. It can even be a couple of weeks

01:09:50.820 ago with an attitude and where you are now. Um, but I hope you recognize that, man. That's

01:09:55.680 a huge thing to lose 40 pounds and you must feel a lot of pride. Let's hear more.

01:10:00.460 So, uh, the thing that, what, what, what's tough, man, is, uh, the self-esteem is low,

01:10:07.240 man. You take, you know, I'm going to the beach next weekend with my family. The idea of taking

01:10:12.020 my shirt off, uh, and being around the beach is terrible. You know, I've been to the beach

01:10:16.760 before, man, and I've tried to like make light of the situation. You know, I've kind of like

01:10:21.020 told jokes about like how, uh, how it's okay for me to take my shirt off. Cause I'm a male,

01:10:26.240 even though I have titties bigger than, you know, half the females on the beach. 0.98

01:10:32.320 Ah, yeah, man. Well, I'm kind of feeling a little bit sorry that I was met, you know, 0.95

01:10:36.060 I wasn't making fun earlier, but I was telling you a story that kind of, I guess, correlated to

01:10:40.280 maybe some of these, those things might've, you know, kind of, I don't know if I hope, I hope that

01:10:44.280 didn't bum you out at all because I really enjoyed seeing that on my friends, but you know,

01:10:48.960 I can imagine what it was like for him. And now I'm kind of learning that perspective.

01:10:52.560 Uh, let's hear some more. Just trying to figure out, man, like how can I like embrace it,

01:10:56.320 you know? And, uh, surgery is an option, but it's about, you know? Yeah. That surgery,

01:11:01.660 I know it's about five to 7,500. And then you also have to wear special shirts and stuff.

01:11:07.700 Five grand. And then you have to take about two weeks off of work.

01:11:14.940 All right, man. I, you know, I appreciate that call, man. It's brave to call about that.

01:11:18.960 But, uh, you know, I mean, if you're nervous, you know, I'll say a couple of things. One,

01:11:30.220 uh, if you're nervous about the surgery, you know, obviously I'm sure you've probably researched

01:11:36.020 and talked to people and you can find other people that have had it. I have a friend actually,

01:11:39.600 a comedian friend who was just telling me the other day that he had this same issue and then he ended

01:11:44.600 up having the surgery. And then finally, after years, a lot of that, um, inferiority and I don't

01:11:50.420 know if that's shame, but you know, just that nervousness has gone away from him because obviously

01:11:55.560 he's, you know, his body looks different now, but that, that ran real heavily with him for a while.

01:12:01.300 Um, yeah, man, that's, that's tough. Cause you want to just have your shirt off and just be at the

01:12:06.360 beach and feel free. You know, you want to maybe even get fully naked and have a damn, 0.99

01:12:11.040 uh, you know, uh, you know, uh, uh, a turkey burger or, um, little baby Julius burger. What 0.99

01:12:18.620 is that thing called? A sloppy Joe, not baby Julius. What am I thinking of? Who, what? And so you want

01:12:25.160 to have, you almost want to get fully naked and have a sloppy Joe. I'm trying to think of, I wish there

01:12:29.800 was a special shirt that was for a dope ass man that had some kind of little bit of a light, 0.99

01:12:34.180 you know, kind of thicker in that, you know, them breasticles, you know, I wish they had a man 1.00

01:12:40.020 like, you know, that could kind of, you know, like a man's ear, you know, just kind of something,

01:12:45.160 you know, even if under armor made one or something, you know, so I don't know. I mean, I guess,

01:12:51.860 oh, it's tough, dude. Cause I know that probably is tough for you. Yeah. I mean, I, if I, for me

01:12:58.880 personally, what I, what would I do? I would probably wear some type of under armor type of thing where I

01:13:03.400 could still be athletic a little bit and get some sun, but I would still be able to take care of

01:13:07.540 that part of me where I didn't, you know, if it's going to make you so self-conscious that you're not

01:13:13.280 going to be able to enjoy yourself at all, then maybe for now I would still, you know, maybe wear

01:13:19.740 a shirt because, because here's the thing, you're going to the beach, you want to have fun. You don't

01:13:23.820 want to not be able to enjoy yourself. So, you know, for now I would do what's, you know, what's going

01:13:29.880 to make you feel okay and bring you the most joy. Now say you go full throttle, you know,

01:13:34.480 when you got them a coops out there, you know, you got them, you know, them lowercase a's out there.

01:13:40.920 Then I think have some fun, you know, have some fun. I mean, accept the fact that you're probably

01:13:46.200 going to get some looks, know that in advance, and then maybe have some fun with it. Now here's a fun

01:13:52.120 thing you could do. You could get one of those Tahitian type of things with the coconut

01:13:56.600 broad things, you know, like Fred Flintstone wears, because that's something that's fun.

01:14:03.100 And it's, uh, would still kind of, you know, cover up some of your nervousness.

01:14:08.660 So maybe that's something fun that you could do, you know, but, um, you know, if it continues to

01:14:14.500 bother you, I don't think there's any shame in getting a surgical procedure if you can afford it.

01:14:18.400 I don't know how that works with, uh, with, um, with insurance or anything like that.

01:14:24.620 But you know what, man, let me, I want to know how that beach goes. And even if it doesn't go well,

01:14:29.380 I want to know that if you wouldn't mind, you know, I'd love to circle back with you and find

01:14:33.100 out just kind of the truth. If you can take me through some more of that, you know, because I

01:14:37.280 know that that kind of stuff is tough, man. When we feel our bodies are a certain way, man, I've always

01:14:42.100 hated like the slope of my shoulders. Um, dude, I've got, dude, ever since I was young, it's a little

01:14:48.020 better, a little different now, but I had a real DS booty. I had the same butt, buttocks and hips 0.97

01:14:53.160 that a lot of down syndrome, uh, men and women had. And a lot of black girls, we had the same 0.97

01:14:58.120 butt. And so I'd always get all these wild jokes and, you know, I'd feel nervous. Everybody wanted 0.97

01:15:04.020 me to twerk all the time and shit. And I'm like, fuck, you know? So I feel you, man. It's tough. 1.00

01:15:11.260 It's tough when we live in this world that puts so much on how we look and, uh, and we're so self-aware

01:15:16.800 too. And then we have this, you know, something that really stands out. I mean, dude, I wish I

01:15:21.940 could wear a brassiere over my nose sometimes, you know, I got a, you know, I got a, my nose is kind

01:15:27.780 of a C cup. So I got that C cup whiffer, but thanks for calling, man. And for, uh, just for not thinking

01:15:34.920 and not feeling that stuff alone. If you go out to the beach, I hope you have a, I hope you have a

01:15:38.240 blast. No matter how you, no matter how you play it, I hope you have a blast, man. Um, all right,

01:15:44.920 let's get into another call here. Hey, uh, this is Stevie from up in West Virginia. I

01:15:51.580 had a question for you. What is the biggest misconception that you've come across being

01:15:57.200 from the South? Personally, uh, I was at a six flags and somebody was actually surprised

01:16:04.580 to see that I owned a pair of shoes. So I just wondering like what kind of, uh, weird stereotypes

01:16:11.780 or misconceptions you've come across during the years. Um, well, that's a good one. Yeah.

01:16:16.600 That somebody thought you didn't have shoes and that's wild. Um, the biggest misconception

01:16:21.620 maybe that I've had from the South, I think is just that people think that you are just

01:16:25.120 going to be racist, you know, cause there's definitely a lot more races, a lot more racial

01:16:30.920 environment growing up in the South. And, and I find it's that there was a lot of just, I don't,

01:16:37.800 I found it was more hatred when I was young, just going both ways. You know, there was a

01:16:42.900 lot of, and it was, it was, you know, there was a lot of black kids that were extremely mean 1.00

01:16:47.740 to white kids and there was a lot of, uh, or people and vice versa, you know, and it, and

01:16:54.500 I don't know when it started, you know, I mean, I mean, I know historically when things started

01:17:00.300 between those two races, but I think it was probably, you know, it's probably just the assumption

01:17:05.040 that everybody's going to be racist. Um, you know, or that, uh, like people will come

01:17:11.620 up to me and refer to me as redneck kind of stuff sometimes. And that makes me mad. It

01:17:15.480 makes me a little bit upset. I don't mind being rural. Um, the other day, a girl referred

01:17:20.700 to me as white trash and, uh, and that kind of made me mad, you know, kind of to me, like 0.92

01:17:27.640 I, you know, I've never dealt with the, you know, the N word situation, but it felt like 0.90

01:17:33.080 that's kind of, you know, so I don't know what that feels like, but it felt like kind

01:17:36.700 of a dagger like that to me, you know, like them saying something that put me in a place

01:17:41.880 that I couldn't escape from as far as they were concerned so that it made them feel like

01:17:47.340 they were better than me. Uh, and that, that shit made me mad. Um, because I'll, and I also 1.00

01:17:55.740 say this though, that yeah, growing up in the South, the youth, there's a lot more racial 0.99

01:17:59.000 shit you grew up around. Dude, there's a lot more people saying all kinds of stuff. 0.99

01:18:04.620 Everybody. Dude. And even out in LA, you hear low, low key people saying racist stuff all

01:18:10.820 the time on both sides of the tracks, both sides of the net, both sides of the Roy G

01:18:17.440 bill of that, uh, of the color palette. But that's one probably that I'm ignorant. Um, you

01:18:27.500 know, I felt for years as sad as it is that I had to hide the fact that I wasn't ignorant.

01:18:33.820 You know, I tried to pretend like I was, you can even, um, you know, I had to use satire

01:18:39.240 because I was afraid to even sharing in my real feelings sometimes. So a lot of times

01:18:43.500 I have to disguise or hide my thoughts and my ideas sometimes through satire because I'm

01:18:50.140 afraid that they're not going to be accepted. You know, or that I'm not going to be heard.

01:18:54.340 But, you know, I don't know, man, I'm still learning a lot about this, but that's a, that's

01:18:59.180 a wild question. I appreciate you calling in young lady. Um, let's take another call

01:19:02.920 here. Here we go.

01:19:04.380 What's up there, man? This is Adam from North Carolina. Man, I just want to tell you that

01:19:07.900 I really enjoyed that, uh, episode with Stevie Starlight.

01:19:11.660 Thanks, Adam. Appreciate that. Yeah. Stevie Starlight was wild. He came in, he was 45 minutes

01:19:15.800 late. I'll say that. I didn't say that, but he came in and he wanted to go have a cigarette

01:19:20.120 break. Like break from what, bro? You just got here 45 minutes late, daddy. Oh, let's

01:19:26.120 go. You know, I'm paying, I'm paying a crew. What'd you think, daddy? You know, I know

01:19:33.260 you've been out in orbit, Stevie Starlight, but look, we need you here in the galaxy. Uh,

01:19:38.740 but we had a great time, man. And you know, he had this, I mean, that it's never too late

01:19:42.240 to come over. That's a beautiful song. And so I was so grateful that he came in and, and

01:19:47.120 we had fun, man. His girlfriend came and sat in here on the couch and it was neat to just

01:19:50.780 talk to somebody who'd come out here to, uh, uh, you know, who'd come to Los Angeles with

01:19:54.380 a dream and to hear what, uh, what they thought and what, uh, what he thought. Um, all right,

01:19:59.760 let's take another, let's take another call right here. Oh, let's finish that call up.

01:20:04.600 He has a phenomenal job and, uh, he's a great guest, man. I'd really love to have him back

01:20:11.000 if you can. And, uh, also I look forward to seeing you in Raleigh, North Carolina, man. I

01:20:16.120 got my tickets and everything. Can't wait. Yeah, bro. Be good. Gang, gang, man. Yeah.

01:20:21.700 I'll see you. Um, I'll definitely see you in Raleigh and I'll see everyone this

01:20:25.840 weekend, uh, June 15th and 16th in Calgary, Alberta, Canada at Yuck Yucks. Then I'll be

01:20:31.140 in Bakersfield, California the following weekend. Then, uh, the following weekend I'll

01:20:36.780 be in Stark County, Illinois, a fundraiser in my mother's hometown at the Paramount

01:20:41.500 Theater. Uh, then July 6th through 8th, the following weekend I'll be at Levity Live

01:20:46.100 in Oxnard, California. And then July 20th through 22nd, Charlie Goodnights in Raleigh,

01:20:52.000 North Carolina. Some new dates added on Toronto Just for Laughs Festival. And that is September

01:21:00.100 20th through the 24th. Uh, go get the pass. You got to go onto the Just, Just for Laughs

01:21:06.600 website. Go get the pass and, uh, pick the shows that I am on so you can come and see me

01:21:11.100 perform. I promise I'm going to do my best while I'm there. I promise you I'm going to do

01:21:15.080 my best. Uh, also we have Washington DC has been added. That's November 30th through December 1st

01:21:21.640 at the Comedy Loft. November 9th and 10th, Salt Lake City. We're going to get over there. I'm

01:21:27.540 really excited. Um, and we're going to do some, some, some magic there at Wise Guys in Salt Lake

01:21:33.960 City. Uh, other dates, there's some other cities. Go to theovon.com slash tour, T-O-U-R. 0.57

01:21:42.140 What else, man? We'll go to a couple more calls here, man. And then we'll probably, uh, you know,

01:21:45.620 we might try to get through this, but we have so many great calls. Let's go.

01:21:49.120 Hey, what's up, Theo? This is Jay from Texas, man. I'm calling.

01:21:53.200 What's up, Jay? Thank you for calling, brother.

01:21:54.920 Oh, man. I'm sorry to hear that, man. You know, I, uh, I don't know you or your father,

01:22:12.360 but I know that that is a, that's a very real moment in somebody's life. This is a moment.

01:22:17.460 Um, this is a moment that is very thick and that will be a real hinge or can be a real

01:22:25.820 hinge in your life for a long time on a lot of levels. I'm sorry to hear that, brother.

01:22:30.880 Onward?

01:22:31.420 And, uh, it was pretty much unexpected. He was 58 years old. He didn't take the best care of

01:22:38.100 himself, but, uh, you know, I didn't expect him to die of a massive heart attack at that age.

01:22:46.060 You know, so I just don't know really where to go from here. Uh, you know, I'm the oldest

01:22:53.080 in my family, so I'm the leader of the family. So I can't feel, I feel like I can't really

01:22:58.800 fuck off and, and, and do whatever I want to do. It's therapeutic for me. I feel like I 0.98

01:23:05.240 gotta, you know, uh, move to where my family is and, and kind of take care of them. Uh, my

01:23:13.520 dad was the only person that supported me saying that I didn't want to have a normal

01:23:19.520 job and, and those type of things. And he, now that he's gone, it seems like the whole

01:23:24.920 world depends on me to, uh, to take care of them.

01:23:28.700 Okay. Uh, thank you for sharing this stuff, uh, this information here. Um, you know, I'm

01:23:35.240 gathering, you're saying that your father, you know, he was one of the few people who,

01:23:39.800 you know, kind of sided with you on, you know, you kind of live in this free, more freedom

01:23:44.560 type of lifestyle, doing what you wanted to do. And that now that just because that you're

01:23:49.780 the oldest and that you have to be the leader you're feeling. Now, is that a pressure that

01:23:54.380 you're feeling to be the leader? Or is that a pressure that people are putting on you to

01:23:58.260 be the leader? Because look, just because you're the oldest, you would think, you know,

01:24:04.480 that the oldest is going to be the leader. But if people aren't asking you to, then that's

01:24:11.740 a, then that's a role that you can assume if you want to, but that's going to come with,

01:24:16.100 you know, you know, the leader that's short for leadership. So that's going to take a lot

01:24:22.020 of effort. And you know, if it sounds like you and your life right now, just look, man,

01:24:28.820 and I don't know, and I'm not telling you anything, but I'm just trying to gather things

01:24:33.540 here that I'm hearing you say that you like to have a little bit more of a freedom lifestyle

01:24:38.460 that your dad kind of supported that. Then yeah, you would probably, I don't know what

01:24:42.700 that means to you, but you'd probably have to make some adjustments and some changes. But

01:24:46.880 if people aren't beating down your door to be the leader or to say, you know, to take

01:24:50.760 the reins or just because you're the oldest, then don't put that pressure on yourself. If

01:24:56.520 it's not a pressure that, you know, if it's just a pressure that, that you're putting on

01:25:03.240 yourself only to have a reaction to his passing, you know, sometimes people, you know, something

01:25:13.100 tragic happens or something goes on and we, we, we will take anything almost as a blanket or

01:25:19.440 as a shield or, you know, we'll create a, you know, a new shell. Um, and sometimes, you

01:25:26.620 know, I just, I'd hate to see you create, uh, you know, a shell like, oh, I need to be the

01:25:31.400 leader now, but it's too much, but I'm not going to do it. You know, and then you end up

01:25:37.420 in this spiral of not taking care of yourself, you know, fighting against this, this, this

01:25:45.820 definition, this new definition of you that no one even asked you to, to define yourself

01:25:52.780 as, you know, I just hate to see you get in a, in a wild circle there. Um, but it sounds

01:26:00.760 like you are starting to think about some stuff and I commend you there because that's probably

01:26:06.740 going to be uncomfortable. You know, it's going to be uncomfortable. You know, there's

01:26:10.840 something about when our parents are alive, where we feel like they, that we still have

01:26:16.000 this mulligan out in the world, you know, and then we still have this ability to error

01:26:21.660 because they're still alive, you know, and then when that cloud is gone, then suddenly

01:26:26.980 you're the one that's getting hit by the sun. The light is shining on you, you know, when

01:26:31.080 our, when that cover of our parents is gone. And so this is a big moment where, yeah, you're

01:26:35.920 probably going to have more light shine on you and you're going to be the one looking

01:26:38.860 at yourself. You know, it sounds like these are things that you might be asking yourself

01:26:43.800 onward.

01:26:44.620 If you had any advice, man, I'd appreciate it. It sounds like I'm smoking. I am smoking a

01:26:52.620 big fat point. So, uh, you know, sometimes you just got to do it. Anyway, hey, boy, you

01:27:00.140 hitting that heater boy, you hitting that six feet thunder, huh? Gang, gang, man. Well, look,

01:27:08.860 you know, if your father just passed, you don't have to answer every question right

01:27:12.200 away. So maybe hit that blunt and take a week off and take it easy. Um, but there's gonna

01:27:18.680 be a lot of emotions going on. And if you check out all the time and you just get high every

01:27:23.740 time or you just do that, you might be escaping a great opportunity to really, uh, feel some

01:27:30.360 feelings. You know, it's rare in life that, that things really create huge feelings inside

01:27:35.720 of us. And bro, that can be a fucking, you want to get high, dude, or you want to get, 0.93

01:27:40.020 you want to take a ride, bro? Let your feelings get you, son. Let your feelings, dog. You ride, 0.99

01:27:48.540 you know, blaze up a couple of grams of your own feelings and feel that hitter, son. Get

01:27:53.820 that hitter. Um, all right, let's take another call here. Here we go.

01:27:59.360 What's up, Theo? What's up? I woke up this morning and my parents told me that, um, they

01:28:08.500 were going out with another couple to, to see an oldies band. And, um, I'm in Atlanta

01:28:17.620 and, uh, they said the name of the band is the Swinging Medallions. So I just wanted to

01:28:25.780 know if you had anything to say about that. All right. Bye.

01:28:30.660 Okay. Wow. So bro, obviously, I mean, obviously your parents are the Swinging Medallions. You

01:28:39.960 woke up, your parents said they're going out of town. They're going to see a band. Dude,

01:28:44.080 your parents are swingers, bro. How many clues do you need, Cat Daddy? Cat Daddy, Cat Daddy.

01:28:51.340 How many clues do you need? Your parents are swingers, dude. They're going to meet up with

01:28:55.380 another couple, the Swinging Medallions. They probably can't fuck at the house with their 0.99

01:29:00.600 buddies. They can't do that buddy fucking because you're at the house. Dude, you moved in, you're 1.00

01:29:06.080 ruining the party, boy. Get a job, Daddy. Are you working at the library, son? Well, check

01:29:13.360 yourself out of there and go get that job. Work for a bigger company. Go work for, you know,

01:29:20.280 Chevrolet, Enron, Nabisco. Get out there. So your parents can do that straight up, play

01:29:27.660 Twister. They can bring a couple of spare dicks over to the house and play Twister, dude. 1.00

01:29:34.240 Come on. Your parents trying to live a little and you over there in the morning sharing off

01:29:40.440 the same jug of milk as them. Come on, man. Get out there and get that hitter of your own life. 0.56

01:29:47.820 Here we go. Hello there, Theo. My name's Javelin. I was wondering just... Whoa. Javelin? Okay, dude,

01:29:57.080 that's a weapon. That's your name? That's a weapon, brother. But thank you for calling. You're from

01:30:01.080 another country, man, and I appreciate that. And onward. Hello there, Theo. My name's Javelin.

01:30:09.020 I was wanting to just call you. I'm a big fan of the show. And I was just wanting to throw

01:30:13.840 out a topic out there. Throw out. That's hilarious. And your name's Javelin, dude? That's like...

01:30:19.120 Because you have to... Look, man, no offense. It's not... But that's like somebody saying,

01:30:22.560 Hey, um, my name is Baseball Bat. You know? My name is, uh, um, Nunchuk. You're like,

01:30:30.780 Chuck? You're like, no, Nunchuk. Bro, that is a weapon, dude. You got that crazy name. I bet

01:30:35.720 you can, you know, a lot of ladies like that. They like that fierce man. Onward, Javelin? 0.84

01:30:41.320 I was just wanting to throw out a topic out there for you to discuss. Um, I was just curious

01:30:46.800 if you have ever put any thought towards reincarnation. Do you think there's a possibility

01:30:53.560 for it? Um, would you like that? Found out that that were true? Yeah, just various things

01:31:00.020 in that area. Just sort of what your thoughts on, on the concept of there being reincarnation.

01:31:05.880 Yep. I appreciate you asking about reincarnation or re-in-car, as a lot of people call it for

01:31:10.540 short. And I'll say this. Reincarnation makes a lot of sense to me. And here's why.

01:31:16.800 Because the only thing I know for a fact is that I exist here. I know that. I know I

01:31:25.940 exist here. If you don't get into all the theories about, um, uh, you know, uh, uh, simulation

01:31:32.880 and all of that, um, you know, whatever it is called, freak, whatever it's singularity,

01:31:40.340 if you don't get in all of that stuff, the only thing I know for sure is that I exist here,

01:31:44.260 that I showed up on a ball of dirt and water in the middle of a vast expanse of darkness and that

01:31:49.320 I exist here. So that's, that's proof. I, I am, I am living proof of that. So reincarnation to me

01:31:57.620 makes a lot of sense because all you're saying is that that would happen again. That when I die

01:32:03.480 and, you know, and zone out from here and disappear, that I would come back here or a place

01:32:10.320 similar, I guess, that seems very possible because it's already happened to me one time

01:32:16.360 this time right now. So reincarnation. Yeah. So you're telling me what just happened to me

01:32:22.920 could happen to me again. That is very believable because it just happened to me.

01:32:30.660 That's like saying, Hey, if I burn my hand on the stove, somebody saying, Hey,

01:32:35.160 you know what? When you die, you could burn your hand on the stove again. I'd be like,

01:32:41.480 you know what? That sounds feasible. So reincarnation, man, gang, gang. I feel that all day. Um,

01:32:50.900 all right, let's get into this. We still have to assign a best or worst weekend for last month.

01:32:55.120 And we do have our winner. Uh, every month you can hit the hotline 985-664-9503 and tell us about

01:33:01.420 your best weekend or your worst weekend. Try to keep it to 90 seconds or less. If you go over 90

01:33:06.620 seconds, you're going to disqualify yourself. Um, and this is our winner for May. Let's hear it one

01:33:12.360 more time. Here we go. Hey, what's up, Theo? Uh, I'm a college student. I'm studying biology and, uh,

01:33:19.440 I've been supporting myself by working a third shift at a gas station, kind of in the ghetto of the 0.85

01:33:24.260 city. My college is in G unit. And, uh, it's usually all right, but, uh, last night about six

01:33:31.220 guys came in and, uh, they just bought a gas can and put like two gallons of gasoline in it. And

01:33:37.000 they seem really calm. They'll chill nice guys when they left. But, uh, Oh yeah, dude, six guys,

01:33:43.340 one, uh, one gallon of gas, bro. That sounds like a gay camp out about to go down. You know what I'm 1.00

01:33:50.500 saying? That sounds like a real barn burner. And barn is this dude that we met a couple towns over

01:33:55.880 and he's down now. Uh, onward. They came back like two hours later, just high as fuck. Probably on

01:34:04.000 meth or free. Uh, probably on gas, bro. Six dudes, one gallon. That ain't much. If you play in huffs, 0.88

01:34:10.000 okay, man, you can out, and they're tired, trying to return the gas can cause it was like 12 bucks.

01:34:16.340 But, uh, the sole policy is I can't return gas cans once there's been gas in them.

01:34:21.520 Hey, that's a blanket policy, baby. That's my policy too. If you borrow a cup from me, you put gas in it.

01:34:27.500 Nassio cup.

01:34:29.040 So they were like yelling at me and talking all at once and they were going to stab me if I didn't 1.00

01:34:33.360 cut my head off and shit. 0.99

01:34:34.900 And that's scary when six dudes all with gas on their breath are telling you that they's about 1.00

01:34:39.260 to ISIS you up over a little bit of petrol. Okay, man.

01:34:45.100 You know, I was a Marine out of high school, so I'm not afraid of any man, but you know,

01:34:49.920 six make me really concerned. They ended up yelling at me for the gas can for a little bit more and,

01:34:55.120 uh, they bought like $400 of random gas station food shit. Like a lot of lottery tickets, 0.99

01:35:01.740 it's a fuck ton of them. They ended up leaving on their own. Spent like $400 or $500 on them. 0.78

01:35:06.720 And, uh, they left, told me I was a fuck and, uh, you know, that was my weekend. 0.99

01:35:12.840 Man, you know what? Thanks for your service, bro. Thanks for your service station as well. 0.99

01:35:19.160 Because that, you know, it's crazy. You've been through the Marines and you still got to go

01:35:24.380 through the boot camp of bullshit when six ignorant people show up. Man, I'll be nice. 1.00

01:35:29.540 People that bask in their own ignorance, sometimes it's too much. Um, but thanks for calling, man.

01:35:36.460 And guess what? You got that May hitter. So, um, we will have our producer, Chris,

01:35:42.020 will reach out to you and take care of you and send you a, this past weekend prize pack.

01:35:46.040 We got that correctional center blue t-shirt that, uh, that TPW. The only way you can get it

01:35:51.120 is by winning, um, this monthly contest. So thank you so much. And thank you again for your service,

01:35:56.620 man. And be safe out there. And when I come to your city, man, I'm going to make sure that, uh,

01:36:01.260 that I get you some tickets to the show, do you and one friend who don't drink gas, bro. Unless y'all

01:36:07.760 ride on 91 octane, you know, I won't hang out with anybody. If y'all sipping on 89 stays away from

01:36:13.760 daddy. But if y'all on that 91, zip, zip, let's go. But thank you for calling, man. Thank you so much.

01:36:20.920 Uh, and we have, um, we have a, a, a submission for this month. Somebody hit the hotline 985-664-9503

01:36:29.360 for June. And here is that, uh, that submission for this past weekend for this month. Here we go.

01:36:35.720 Hey, Theo. What's up? This is Josh from Wisconsin. Uh, I was calling about this past weekend. Um,

01:36:41.320 I had a really good weekend. Started out on Friday. I took the day off, smoked ribs for the first time,

01:36:47.760 which was a interesting experiment. Kind of dried them out a little bit, but you know,

01:36:51.900 I was kind of happy with that. Then Saturday I got to, let's go to the shooting range, uh,

01:36:56.880 with my brother and my wife and his girlfriend. And then after that, got to go fishing with both

01:37:01.860 my brothers and two of my nephews and my wife. And then, uh, also sang karaoke for the first time.

01:37:08.880 The main song I wanted to sing, my buddy already sang, so didn't want to do that and bite his shit. 0.98

01:37:14.740 And then, uh, defaulted to another one that I know really well and they didn't have it. 0.99

01:37:19.300 So, uh, I was really drunk and I ended up picking a song by Mariah Carey called Touch My Body.

01:37:24.840 And I was just, it did not go well at all, but it was a fun experience, man.

01:37:29.960 Thank you for calling. That's a great submission for this past weekend. You went fishing,

01:37:33.560 you went to a shooting range with your brother and your wife and didn't, and didn't kill either

01:37:39.980 one of them. And these days that's a rarity and that is to be applauded. You know, a lot of times

01:37:44.760 if you get tickets for a cruise or a shooting range or something, and you're married or have a spouse

01:37:49.040 or you have a brother that you guys are in business together and the LLC wasn't formed correctly and

01:37:53.720 shit like that, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes you're riding home with an empty passenger seat, 0.84

01:37:58.800 but it's nice to know that that's not occurring. And then you went out and got that karaoke,

01:38:02.640 you know, you got that Japanese, uh, music stylings and you got out there and you guys

01:38:08.540 did it all. And you did the Mariah Carey, Touch My Body. And a man that, uh, that goes shooting

01:38:15.420 with his wife and can then finish off the evening singing, Touch My Body. I mean, that sounds like

01:38:21.020 a beautiful weekend to me. And you threw in the nieces and nephews that you had fun as well. So,

01:38:25.880 uh, that's a great submission for this month for June for this past weekend. Uh, so thank you very

01:38:30.860 much. We'll keep that in at the end of the month. We'll pick a winner. Um, we have, we also have on

01:38:38.400 the website, theovan.com slash, uh, tour. You can get tickets, theovan.com slash store. You can get

01:38:44.540 merch, a lot of great new, get that hitter shirts. We got, um, we got all the new hitters, man. We got

01:38:51.180 that, uh, thought while our shirt, a lot of stuff's out there. So get out there and get involved. Thank

01:38:56.100 you guys so much. Um, I'll be seeing you in Calgary this weekend as well on the website,

01:39:02.000 on the podcast link, you can submit video questions. Uh, so you can go there as well.

01:39:07.460 And next week we'll start incorporating those. We've gotten a few and we'll incorporate those

01:39:11.240 starting, uh, next week. I want to thank everybody again that came out there in Oklahoma, man. I had,

01:39:18.400 you know, just good people, good people came out and made me really feel a part of the environment

01:39:23.460 there. And we had our single, our first single mom. We had our first single mom's night out and

01:39:28.420 man, we treated her well. And her name is Julie. And I'm going to do a followup with her this week

01:39:33.220 and we'll put that out. But man, her and her friend came out and they picked out their own

01:39:38.160 table and we did a couple of nice things for them. And, uh, and so I want to thank you guys so much

01:39:44.120 and thank Patreon so much for just that support and making that happen. And we want to make that a

01:39:50.000 reality. Um, we'll do it again in a, in a, uh, probably another two weeks and see if we can't

01:39:56.300 just do another trial run of getting that to become something that's going to be a regular part

01:40:00.180 of, um, of being out on the road. And so I want to thank the people over at Patreon for helping make

01:40:06.020 that, um, that special night a reality, man. It was cool. And we'll put a video up this weekend

01:40:11.100 and some photos and some actual video footage that we got, uh, meet and, um, Julie as well.

01:40:17.300 Oh, thank you guys. You know, you know, we just got to stay at it. You know, we might have a chip on

01:40:27.380 our shoulder, but you know, sometimes we've got to keep at a certain point, man, that chip doesn't

01:40:32.320 always serve us well. So we got to, you know, you got to put a little bit of sauce on that chip.

01:40:39.380 You know, you got to fancy that thing up with the new things you learn and the new places we find

01:40:44.400 ourselves. Cause man, that old anger chip, that thing doesn't serve me anymore.

01:40:50.020 You know, and sometimes I use it. Sometimes I use it when I'm by myself and I need to straighten

01:40:54.640 my spine, you know, or I need to get out of bed or I need to stand up for myself. Sometimes I got to

01:40:59.880 go back to that, to that, you know, that Rottweiler boy that was inside of me. You know, sometimes I got

01:41:06.240 to go back to that kid, you know, that felt alone or felt, um, unwanted or felt, uh, scared or felt

01:41:14.080 on, you know, disrespected or felt left behind or felt less than or felt poor or felt, uh, unappreciated

01:41:23.620 or felt like he wasn't part of something or felt unloved or felt whatever it was that you felt or

01:41:31.920 that I felt. Sometimes you go back and you can draw from that, but that is, but if that's not our

01:41:38.920 truth right now, then we got to, we get, you know, you got to put that on your back. That ain't a front

01:41:44.320 pack. That's a backpack now. And you can use it to power you where you can, but you know, we got to

01:41:50.640 get out there and, um, and keep our mind open, you know, and keep our mind open and keep thinking

01:42:01.580 and keep moving forward. And we'll find good things, man. That'll, that'll keep, you know,

01:42:06.700 you'll find good things that'll pull you further along. You won't always have to use that, you know,

01:42:12.460 that raw energy, that raw, that gritty, you know, that gritty gunpowder that that's in, that's in

01:42:20.080 your system from, you know, from whatever wronged you. You won't always have to use that to power

01:42:25.200 yourself because there's a lot of good people out there and you're going to see that look in their

01:42:29.300 eyes and you're going to know, okay, this is safe. This is another safe few feet or another safe

01:42:33.860 relationship for me to go into, or another safe friendship or another, and you're going to keep

01:42:38.020 going, you're going to keep learning and that's going to become your fuel. You know, each other,

01:42:43.240 the good ones out there. And I'm not saying I'm a good one, but, but I'm not saying I'm not.

01:42:52.080 So.

01:42:54.600 Yeah, man. Love you guys, bro. Be good to yourself. You probably deserve it.

01:43:08.020 Oh, and happy gay pride, man. I know it's gay pride week. It has been. Um, if, uh, I don't know 0.60

01:43:32.160 how many, uh, what percent, we don't know. Fuck who's gay, who might be gay one day. You might be a 1.00

01:43:37.600 gay grandparent. You don't know. Don't shun it now. You know what I'm saying? You might have a 0.99

01:43:42.400 family and then you might meet a man or a lady down the road. You know, you might have late onset

01:43:46.600 homosexuality. You never know what I'm saying. I might fall in love with a man when I'm 60 or 70. 1.00

01:43:51.460 You never know, baby. I mean, I'm just saying, you don't know what God has planned for you, boy.

01:43:56.960 You just don't know. Oh, okay. You know what? We almost went into Spencer Jacob Grau on the way out

01:44:01.280 and I'm going to let us do that because I didn't plan for that. That just happened gang.

01:44:07.600 Let's have some fun while we all die.

01:44:37.580 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be

01:44:52.040 sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your

01:44:57.180 partner. The answer may shock you. Sometimes I'll interview my friends. Sometimes I won't.

01:45:02.800 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:45:06.620 You have three new voice messages.

01:45:09.540 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club. I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:45:15.160 Longer than anybody else. So great.

01:45:18.120 Hi. Swee-ah.

01:45:19.820 Here's a deal. 1.00

01:45:21.140 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00

01:45:25.080 Jermaine. 0.99

01:45:25.640 Hi. I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:45:30.120 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:45:32.220 Oh, no.

01:45:34.520 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:45:36.920 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:45:41.100 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:45:45.320 Third rule.

01:45:46.300 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:45:48.960 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:45:50.680 And yes, don't worry. My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - June 11, 2018

Bald is Beautiful ｜ This Past Weekend #103

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript