This Past Weekend with Theo Von - November 12, 2018


Cinnamon Wilson | This Past Weekend #147


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 39 minutes

Words per Minute

170.96483

Word Count

17,064

Sentence Count

1,327

Misogynist Sentences

71

Hate Speech Sentences

59


Summary

On today's episode of the podcast, the one and only Bishop Gunn talks about his favorite color, the blues, and how to deal with being a kid growing up in the 60's and 70's. Bishop Gunn is a comedian, songwriter, actor, and podcaster from Los Angeles, California. He is also a husband, father, husband, and friend of mine.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.
00:00:02.740 Gray Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles.
00:00:06.480 And they got all type of stuff.
00:00:11.240 Calzans, salads, salads, gourmet pizzas.
00:00:18.220 Gray Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach.
00:00:21.160 Gray Block, get that eater.
00:00:23.200 Happy November.
00:00:24.480 Happy November to you and wherever you are.
00:00:27.960 And I'm so grateful you're here.
00:00:30.000 I'm here, we out here.
00:00:32.340 You know, we're in this little, this little dirty daddy royal rumble.
00:00:37.360 We're out here tickling each other's tummies.
00:00:40.360 You feel me?
00:00:42.180 We're out here just being, you know, we a couple of, you know, we a couple of the, of the, of the, of the most wildest little clams in the chowder.
00:00:55.100 You feel me?
00:00:56.440 Take care, brush your hair.
00:00:58.060 Let's get into it.
00:01:00.300 Ooh, I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home.
00:01:23.980 Mmm, mmm, mmm.
00:01:26.740 And my mind is somewhere else.
00:01:29.460 But when I find it, I'll patch up where it's been blown.
00:01:34.900 There you go.
00:01:35.640 Get your mind.
00:01:36.680 Get your mind.
00:01:38.280 Now I'm just floating on the breeze.
00:01:41.040 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
00:01:43.980 I must be cornerstone.
00:01:46.920 Come on.
00:01:48.140 We're here.
00:01:49.120 We can do it.
00:01:49.900 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.
00:01:54.060 I found I can feel it in my bones.
00:01:58.580 Come on.
00:01:59.340 But it's gonna take a little time.
00:02:03.840 For me to set that parking brake and let myself on my arm shine that light on me.
00:02:14.400 That is Bishop Gunn with Shine.
00:02:42.260 And that's that lead in, the music right there.
00:02:46.580 Welcome to this past weekend.
00:02:49.620 Where are you at right now?
00:02:51.920 What are you doing?
00:02:52.700 What are you wearing?
00:02:54.500 Dude, are you wearing a shirt that you like, I hope?
00:02:58.020 That's one thing sometimes for me.
00:03:00.080 Dude, if I leave the house in a shirt that I don't like, I'm not gonna be, you know, real tickled about that.
00:03:08.440 But if you see me somewhere and I look grumpy, then I probably have on a shirt that I don't like.
00:03:15.700 You know, my mom's, you know, one time when I was growing up, my mom got a batch of real small shirts.
00:03:21.960 And I don't know where she got them from.
00:03:24.740 I don't know if, you know, somebody was selling, you know, boxes of really small shirts or whatever and she got a deal on that.
00:03:32.660 Because she used to spend time, some time with some, you know, miscellaneous gentlemen here and there who was getting deals on stuff.
00:03:40.960 You know, she dated a black Jewish guy when I was young.
00:03:43.780 So, you know, she'd show up at the house with a box of, you know, you know, a box of, you know, one size fits all neck braces and shit like that every now and then.
00:03:54.180 And we would play in the house, you know, play, you know, we'd play handicap at the house and, you know, put on different neck braces and, you know, wheel each other around and do courthouse and all of that.
00:04:06.460 And, you know, just being children, you know, being young children and, and one time my mom got these shirts and, and I think probably for a year and a half, they had four different colors in the box.
00:04:19.520 They had orange, they had blue, like, like a blue you never even seen anymore.
00:04:26.160 Like, you know, they used to have a lot more different blues, you know, a long time ago they had a lot more.
00:04:32.580 Now they have maybe seven different blues, you know, royal blue, I think midnight blue, you know, you know, British blue.
00:04:47.480 They got that, you know, the British always want to do their thing.
00:04:50.880 French blue, that blue that kind of, you know, it says it's going to be there for you and then it's not there for you.
00:04:56.980 It never helps you out or shows up.
00:04:59.060 And they got like three other blues.
00:05:00.560 But this was a blue that they don't have anymore.
00:05:02.860 This was kind of, it was like powder blue kind of, but, but a little, like if somebody saw you in it, they couldn't tell if maybe you worked at the hospital or if you were like a newborn baby.
00:05:16.280 It was kind of one of those things.
00:05:17.940 So I guess it was like a medical blue.
00:05:20.480 You know, it kind of seemed like a blue, maybe you'd only put like a newborn baby in, like a baby, you know, a baby blue for a boy if somebody gave birth to a boy.
00:05:29.040 Or it would be, you know, like the scrub, something like that.
00:05:33.760 So we had that, they had orange, blue, they had pink, like not pink, but like purple and green, like a dark green.
00:05:43.460 I think they were black, but it said dark green on them.
00:05:46.000 So that's one of the problems sometimes with dark green.
00:05:49.200 Somebody's like, oh, these are, you know, you'll buy six or seven hundred dark green shirts, but really they're just black shirts.
00:05:55.800 And now you're wearing black shirts and you're thinking, you know, that your eyes don't work good.
00:06:00.320 And that shit always, that's, I don't like it when, you know, companies do that to you.
00:06:05.520 When they say, oh, you know, you got this box of dark green hitters right here and really they're just black hitters.
00:06:12.680 And you're walking around in a black shirt and telling people it's dark green.
00:06:17.600 And all your friends think you're crazy and you don't know any better because you can't, you think your eyes are bad because somebody lied to you.
00:06:25.300 One of these fancy companies lied to you, but yeah, my mom got some bad shirts, some small shirts.
00:06:31.100 And so for, I remember for a while growing up wearing those real, real small, small shirts.
00:06:37.420 And I think, you know, I know, you know, anxiety is something different for everybody, but sometimes I think when I was young, that's one of the things that gave me anxiety was wearing.
00:06:48.040 I mean, these were t-shirts that were for really almost just real athletic babies.
00:06:53.980 If they had a baby that could, you know, that was, you know, that was going to wear a lot of different shirts, then those would have been for him.
00:07:03.260 Because my mom got about a box of bad shirts.
00:07:06.020 But anyhow, man, I hope that this November is fitting you comfortably.
00:07:14.680 Because we're getting into a nice time of year.
00:07:17.120 You know, I remember when I was young being, you know, November, you get outside and you could feel, you know, just feeling the cool air on your cheeks.
00:07:28.720 And it felt like a, just like a man, like a, not a man, I guess like, yeah, like a man with like a cold tongue was just kind of licking your cheeks a little bit.
00:07:37.940 And that's Mr. Winter.
00:07:39.960 You know, that's Father Winter or whatever they call him.
00:07:42.840 You know, Chris, not Chris Kringle, but, you know, that's wintertime.
00:07:47.580 And wintertime would come along and it would just, you know, it was fun around those times.
00:07:53.320 And we had a turtleneck at our house, too.
00:07:55.660 My mom had a turtleneck she wore for business meetings or something.
00:07:59.740 And sometimes we would get a hold of that bitch, boy.
00:08:03.520 And when I was young, there was nothing more fun than wearing mom's turtleneck.
00:08:07.440 Because you didn't have a shirt like that.
00:08:09.720 You know, when you're a kid, that turtleneck, that's like a third sleeve.
00:08:13.180 You could do whatever you want.
00:08:14.340 You could put your arm out the top, put your neck out the side, and then your other arm out the other one.
00:08:20.600 You could do whatever you want.
00:08:22.580 You know, you got that bitch, you know, you got the arm coming out the right hole.
00:08:27.620 You got the, you know, other arm coming out the left hole.
00:08:30.820 And then you got your other arm going out the turtle hole.
00:08:34.560 So you wearing that bitch, you look like a crossing guard, that fucking, you know, that's in really some developmental type of clothing.
00:08:43.180 And I loved that, man.
00:08:45.200 When my mom, you know, because I would do the laundry.
00:08:48.280 We had different chores when I was growing up to do the laundry.
00:08:52.260 And that was one of mine.
00:08:54.340 You know, my mom made us do that when we were real, real young.
00:08:57.040 And we had to do it.
00:08:58.060 You know, we had to help out.
00:08:59.520 You know, do the bathroom, clean the bathroom.
00:09:02.460 You know, everybody had different chores.
00:09:05.120 And I remember sometimes with the laundry, I would do mom's laundry.
00:09:12.900 And I would get the, and I'd get that turtleneck, boy, and I'd put that bitch on.
00:09:18.880 Man, you could do all kinds of, it was just more of an adventurous shirt than other regular shirts.
00:09:23.860 I remember a turtleneck was really, you know, it was like kind of, it was like the choose your own adventure of shirts.
00:09:34.320 Because a turtleneck, you could pop out of different, you know, you could pop out the top.
00:09:39.580 You could pop out of a sleeve.
00:09:42.000 You know, you could do whatever you wanted.
00:09:43.160 And I grew up in a neighborhood where a lot of people look like shit.
00:09:47.280 So it's like if we wore stuff that was not really, like if you showed up, dude, on our, if you got off of our school bus at the school and you look like shit.
00:09:58.520 Dude, you fit right in, bro.
00:10:00.220 Because our bus, it brought in everybody.
00:10:02.980 You know, out from my street, man, off of McGee Street, bro, it brought in all the wild cats.
00:10:09.360 You know, head lice, boy.
00:10:10.720 We had that head lice, we showed up with the head lice.
00:10:16.120 People want to start bitching, then everybody going to start itching.
00:10:21.660 Because we had that, I mean, they had head lice in our neighborhood.
00:10:25.160 There was, it was, you could turf wars, bro.
00:10:29.080 You'd feel, sometimes you'd get two strands of head lice in your hair at night and you couldn't sleep.
00:10:33.400 Them bitches was battling it out.
00:10:35.980 You know, it was like S.E. Hinton.
00:10:37.460 It was like, you know, one of these, step it up, like that movie, Step It Up, where everybody's trying to outdance each other.
00:10:47.180 And that was the kind of thing you could feel on your scalp.
00:10:51.020 If you got, you know, a couple different strands of head lice at the same time.
00:10:55.680 And we called them Italians, head lice, because they showed up in groups and they bothered you.
00:11:02.380 But I love this time of year, man.
00:11:04.360 And I hope you love it.
00:11:05.800 And I'm happy to be here with you guys.
00:11:07.520 I'm a little tired, but, you know, I'm always a little tired these days.
00:11:11.180 And that's just been life.
00:11:12.580 And that's okay.
00:11:13.180 I think I'm, I don't know if I'm tired, but I'm also kind of gratefully, you know, restful in some ways.
00:11:23.000 I'm just, you know, I guess I'm a little bit gratefully exhausted maybe in certain ways.
00:11:31.300 Man, I got back from Utah.
00:11:33.620 I got back from Utah.
00:11:34.820 Utah, and I want to apologize.
00:11:37.560 I didn't do the meet and greet last night after the Saturday shows.
00:11:42.040 Nobody cared, really, I don't think.
00:11:43.740 I mean, some people might have cared.
00:11:46.220 I was just trying to, I was, you know, I've just been, I've been, you know, I've been having a lot of, like, just anxiety and anxious energy.
00:11:55.060 And it's been hard for me to, you know, when I get back to do the podcast, sometimes it's tough.
00:12:01.040 You know, because I just feel, you know, just a lot of stress, I think.
00:12:06.640 And I don't know what some of the stress comes from, I guess.
00:12:09.160 Honestly, you know, sometimes I feel, you know, I feel like just more responsibility.
00:12:17.320 I don't know.
00:12:18.500 I mean, look, it's different when people start coming to see the show and people are excited and, you know, it's just a new thing.
00:12:26.160 You know, it's a new thing in my life.
00:12:27.980 And I've talked about this a little bit before, and I was thinking about it today.
00:12:33.540 You know, but I'm used to, I'm used to being that, having that underdog kind of thing.
00:12:39.420 You know, I'm used to feeling like an underdog where, you know, feeling like nobody cares.
00:12:44.580 And so, you know, that's a comfortable place for me to be at.
00:12:49.400 Because it always gives me, like, a place to come from.
00:12:52.780 You know, my whole life, I've always felt like I came from a place where I felt like nobody cared.
00:12:59.520 And some of that might have been true.
00:13:02.160 And some of that was that something was off with me where I couldn't feel.
00:13:07.080 I couldn't feel when somebody did care.
00:13:10.760 But now it's like people are coming out and they're supportive of the work.
00:13:15.940 Look, and I'm doing good work, man.
00:13:17.560 Look, I'll show up, I'll put on a good show.
00:13:20.460 I promise you.
00:13:22.200 You know, there's a lot of things in my life I've done poorly.
00:13:25.240 But show up and, you know, and share, you know, share these stories and make people laugh and feel good and have fun.
00:13:36.840 I'm doing that.
00:13:37.680 I am doing that.
00:13:38.760 And I'm not going to let you down in that department.
00:13:44.200 But it's just been different when people come out and it's just kind of scary.
00:13:49.700 Like, when I've always felt like the underdog, when I've always felt like nobody cared.
00:13:53.580 And to now be in a place where it feels like people do care.
00:13:57.160 You know, it takes some, I don't know.
00:14:00.360 It's like, let me think if I can explain this better.
00:14:04.340 It makes me just wonder, well, who, if I'm not the underdog, you know, or how does this fit on me?
00:14:10.740 You know, I don't know how to be kind of in that way in a little bit.
00:14:15.740 You know, I don't know how to be like, I don't, I don't know.
00:14:25.460 My mind wants to say like, or my heart wants to say like grateful.
00:14:28.440 Like, I don't know how to be, I mean, I know, I know, I am grateful.
00:14:35.640 I just don't know how like, I guess I feel like no matter how much I say thank you to people,
00:14:44.660 that they're not going to believe me.
00:14:51.540 You know, like, I don't know, something, maybe people, no matter how much I say thank you,
00:14:56.040 people aren't going to believe me, like, like people would never like believe that I'm grateful
00:15:00.900 or something.
00:15:02.900 I don't know.
00:15:03.500 I'm trying to figure some of that out.
00:15:04.940 You know, I'm trying to talk and feel at the same time.
00:15:09.280 But, but I had a great time and, you know, you know, people came out and it was, it was nice.
00:15:14.040 You know, some husbands and wives, a whole family came out.
00:15:16.920 And this family, I tell you this, this family, they must have been probably about nine feet tall
00:15:23.720 or seven to nine feet.
00:15:26.500 And they came out and, man, they were all laughing and the dad was out there, you know,
00:15:32.000 when he had something on his cheek, like a little bit of mustard or something,
00:15:34.840 because they'd been eating.
00:15:36.460 You know, families like to eat together.
00:15:38.800 And they had fun, man.
00:15:40.240 I almost, I almost wiped that mustard off his cheek and put it in my own freaking face hole.
00:15:44.300 I almost put it right in my own condiment hole right there and ate that little dab right
00:15:49.380 off of that daddy's, you know, right off that daddy's cheeky, cheeky.
00:15:55.280 You know, I was just feeling the love.
00:15:56.880 I was feeling caught up in it.
00:15:58.840 And we had, man, it was just all the shows were sold out and people came out and, and
00:16:03.220 it was, it was great.
00:16:04.180 It was a great time.
00:16:04.820 Somebody gave me a nice gift.
00:16:06.000 It's behind me.
00:16:07.000 It says onward on it.
00:16:09.600 And it's got a V at the front.
00:16:11.620 And he made this himself.
00:16:13.140 Um, and this is Rawlings, is this man's Rawlings Sporting Woods.
00:16:19.420 And this man named Lance Rawlings.
00:16:23.920 And it's, um, you can look him up, RawlingsSportingWoods.com.
00:16:29.360 And he makes these really cool wooden pieces.
00:16:33.040 And, uh, somebody else brought me out there, WWF title belt.
00:16:35.840 I don't know, you know, this guy was holding it up the whole show.
00:16:39.260 He was keyed up and he was fired up and he, I mean, it was, it was awesome.
00:16:44.120 And so he gave me that strap.
00:16:45.460 So now this man gave me a strap.
00:16:47.560 So I got, I got two straps here.
00:16:49.820 I got my own fighter and the kid belt.
00:16:51.320 And I have this one that this man gave me.
00:16:54.480 Uh, what else?
00:16:55.380 Oh, I went to the Mormon, went and checked out the Mormon Tabernacle and looked around
00:16:59.700 there.
00:17:00.100 Beautiful campus.
00:17:00.900 If you, if you get to go to Salt Lake City, you know, one of the special things they have
00:17:04.820 there was, um, is Mormons.
00:17:07.640 And Mormons, they are, you know, they're gentle people.
00:17:13.120 I mean, Mormons are gentle.
00:17:14.380 Have you ever seen a sheep?
00:17:15.460 You ever seen a sheep when it's being real, real nice?
00:17:18.680 You ever seen a sheep and it's being just super nice?
00:17:21.260 Like you see a sheep and you're like, damn, that sheep is being fucking nice.
00:17:27.440 That's Mormons.
00:17:29.080 They're friendly, man.
00:17:30.440 You can marry anybody.
00:17:31.840 You know, we're walking through the scenery there through the campus down there and, uh,
00:17:36.480 on Temple Avenue and in Salt, downtown Salt Lake City.
00:17:40.340 And they, they got weddings going on everywhere.
00:17:43.440 They had 11 weddings going on.
00:17:45.640 Dude, you could pick somebody up and pick a rose off a thing and tickle a preacher for
00:17:50.300 two seconds.
00:17:51.040 The next thing you know, you're hitched whoever you're holding on to.
00:17:54.300 Yeah.
00:17:54.560 I mean, everywhere you turned around, it was, there was just, you were like,
00:17:58.460 you were in a wedding, you were walking in a procession or into a, you know, you were
00:18:02.680 catching a bouquet.
00:18:03.620 Dude, I probably, you know, I probably caught six bouquets for about 48 yards.
00:18:09.780 It was, it was stunning.
00:18:11.580 Just a lot of love.
00:18:12.600 There's a lot of love in that group.
00:18:14.240 You know, definitely people start looking a little bit similar because you don't do a
00:18:18.180 lot of genetic, you know, if you're not incorporating too much extra genetics every
00:18:23.680 now and then, and then people start looking a little bit similar.
00:18:27.900 But damn, it was a beautiful community, beautiful community.
00:18:31.800 And, and so it was nice and it was nice to just see, you know, see that community, walk
00:18:35.380 around.
00:18:35.880 Um, just friendly people.
00:18:39.500 They had a man out there.
00:18:40.980 He was, you know, selling different spices and stuff.
00:18:44.740 He had his own little, a little spice cart.
00:18:47.260 This little older guy.
00:18:50.160 Reminded me when I was growing up, actually, they had this dude, my dad knew named Cinnamon
00:18:55.020 Wilson.
00:18:55.580 And this guy, I hadn't thought about this guy forever.
00:18:58.840 When I was a child, um, Cinnamon Wilson was this dude.
00:19:03.640 He, he would let us like, kind of like, I guess, lick a little bit of cinnamon out of
00:19:09.180 his hand because we didn't always have cinnamon.
00:19:13.400 Now, you know, I'm living in a, you know, a different world these days.
00:19:17.380 I got cinnamon at the house.
00:19:19.300 But when I was young, we had, you know, we didn't have as much cinnamon as we wanted.
00:19:23.000 And cinnamon, now kids are screwing around, they're doing cinnamon challenges and they're
00:19:28.720 hiding, you know, hiding cinnamon between their, you know, their buttocks and stuff like
00:19:32.860 that and, and staring into the sun and just doing wild, you know, unnecessary tricks.
00:19:39.420 But when I was young, you didn't get cinnamon all the time.
00:19:42.680 You had, you didn't have as many flavors.
00:19:44.040 You had orange, grape, you know, peppermint.
00:19:47.080 You could get that anywhere.
00:19:48.920 But cinnamon, that was a special flavor.
00:19:51.120 And my dad's buddy, Cinnamon Wilson, bruh, or Mr. Wilson, but we called him Cinnamon
00:19:55.660 Wilson.
00:19:56.080 He put a little bit of cinnamon in his hand.
00:19:58.160 I guess he would maybe wet his hand or something, either, you know, lick it or cry into it a
00:20:02.160 little bit.
00:20:03.060 And then he would put some cinnamon in there and he'd hold the cinnamon down by us while
00:20:08.360 he was talking to my dad.
00:20:09.440 He let us lick it out of his hand.
00:20:12.800 And he was gentle, you know, he had those big, soft senior citizen hands, you know, because
00:20:17.820 my dad, at that time, my dad was probably 75 years old.
00:20:21.000 So all of my dad's friends were 75.
00:20:24.360 And man, if you were licking cinnamon off of his hand, it felt, I mean, it almost was
00:20:30.160 like a cake.
00:20:30.880 Sometimes you almost wanted to just bite right into his damn hand meat, like it was a coffee
00:20:35.740 cake or something.
00:20:37.320 And he'd be real chill about it.
00:20:38.880 And he wasn't a pervert or anything like that.
00:20:40.700 He wasn't, you know, he wasn't, you know, you didn't see his pants, you know, expounding
00:20:45.660 in the front or any, you know, he wasn't touching your hair, trying to steal a little,
00:20:49.980 you know, cut part of your hair off and keep it at his house or anything wicked.
00:20:54.180 He was just, he liked giving things to people, I guess.
00:20:59.240 And he was a bird trainer, too.
00:21:00.860 And he also had birds all the time.
00:21:02.700 So he was used to feeding you somebody out of his hand.
00:21:05.740 So he, you know, sometimes you fuck up, he'd reach in his pocket and next thing you know,
00:21:11.380 you got, you know, you got a mouthful of, you got a mouthful of birdseed.
00:21:17.920 You're like, fuck, I thought I was getting, you know, some of that tasty, sweet powder,
00:21:23.480 that cinnamon on, baby.
00:21:25.620 Because cinnamon was, when I was young, cinnamon was brand new.
00:21:31.020 Now cinnamon's old hat.
00:21:32.540 Now they got all kind of new stuff.
00:21:33.820 Kratom and these kids are on, you know, what else?
00:21:38.720 Jinko, biloba, all of that.
00:21:41.180 You know, what else are kids doing nowadays?
00:21:44.840 Tangerine.
00:21:45.340 They didn't have that shit when I was young.
00:21:48.100 When I was young, we had more, you know, cinnamon was a new, something brand new.
00:21:53.900 So if you saw Mr. Wilson and he fucking hit you with that low palm, you know,
00:21:58.320 hand down with a little, you'd go over there and you'd just get you
00:22:03.680 a couple of fucking tongue whips of that cinnamon.
00:22:08.140 And then the other kids would see you get it.
00:22:09.940 My brothers or sisters would see me get it and they'd want to get a little hit of it.
00:22:14.400 So it was pretty fun.
00:22:15.520 It was like a fun game.
00:22:16.280 But he was a bird trainer and he would train birds, you know.
00:22:19.860 And he, well, I guess he didn't train them really,
00:22:22.620 but he would like feed them and just look at them for a long time, you know.
00:22:25.560 But some people call him train and he ate a lot of bird eggs, too.
00:22:31.980 That's one thing about the man when I look back on him because he passed now.
00:22:35.500 He's with Christ or whomever he, you know, whomever he favors.
00:22:40.280 But he, dude, he'd have all kind of, he, he, I'll say this.
00:22:45.120 He was doing stuff he shouldn't have been doing with the bird eggs
00:22:47.380 because he'll have a, he'll have a damn nightingale omelet.
00:22:50.100 I'm like, what the hell is that?
00:22:52.620 I don't think, I think, you know, you're not supposed to have that.
00:22:55.660 And you go over there and he'd have a damn duck omelet.
00:22:58.520 I'm like, what the fuck?
00:23:00.720 Because I grew up, where I'm from, you just have chicken omelets.
00:23:03.300 In Vietnam and some places like that, they got the, you know,
00:23:07.240 they have the balut duck eggs.
00:23:09.700 They got all those Fear Factor snacks and stuff like that,
00:23:12.820 that Fear Factor breakfast buffet.
00:23:15.320 People out there drinking fucking, you know,
00:23:17.720 quarts and quarts of rhinoceros semen.
00:23:22.080 But I don't, dude, we wasn't drinking big animal semen in our area.
00:23:26.820 When I was growing up, we had regular shit.
00:23:30.220 But he would have, that's one thing in hindsight
00:23:32.540 he shouldn't have been doing probably with some of those birds
00:23:34.400 just harvesting their eggs and making, you know,
00:23:37.760 unique or extracurricular style omelets.
00:23:41.220 Because you'd see that dude, he'd be having a fucking, you know,
00:23:44.520 tomato with sparrow omelet.
00:23:46.200 And you're like, what the fuck is that?
00:23:48.820 He's over there really harvesting.
00:23:51.700 But man, we had a good time in Utah.
00:23:53.900 Thank you to the people that came out.
00:23:56.100 I do, you know, I don't know if I apologize
00:23:58.200 for not doing the meet and greet on Saturday.
00:24:00.840 I was just, honestly, I was just exhausted
00:24:03.240 and I just needed to kind of do some things
00:24:05.300 to take care of myself.
00:24:06.280 So, um, I wasn't trying to be selfish, but, you know,
00:24:13.780 I don't know, man.
00:24:14.600 I'm just still kind of learning what it's like
00:24:16.380 to have people come out and to, you know,
00:24:20.080 a lot of this kind of stuff is, I don't know.
00:24:24.020 It's like being in like a new relationship or something.
00:24:26.660 I don't know.
00:24:27.180 I can't explain it.
00:24:28.020 And maybe I'm overthinking it in some ways,
00:24:30.060 but, you know, but a lot of good people
00:24:32.640 come out to these shows.
00:24:33.680 I can't, I can't explain that to you enough.
00:24:36.560 You know, I've been doing this comedy for 15 years.
00:24:40.780 And over the time, I've had some fucking jackrabbits
00:24:43.520 and damn, dude, one time I remember being in Toledo
00:24:46.900 and they had like an arsonist recovery group.
00:24:51.000 And I'm all about recovery.
00:24:52.660 You know that.
00:24:54.220 12 steps, I'm on 144 steps, man.
00:24:56.960 I need all, I need to just constantly be on the staircase.
00:25:00.620 But these boys, these were some arsonists.
00:25:03.680 You know, them fucking, you know,
00:25:07.260 just a bunch of damn Candlezoros.
00:25:10.240 I mean, they'll fucking light a candle
00:25:11.480 and just, you know, burn down a damn doghouse or something.
00:25:16.560 And I respect them and stuff, but that, you know,
00:25:18.980 that's the kind of people that were out there
00:25:20.440 getting free tickets.
00:25:22.060 People that's used to burning down hospital, you know,
00:25:25.320 arsonists, people that does arson.
00:25:27.600 You know, the kind of guy who lights a cigarette
00:25:29.620 and that ain't enough.
00:25:31.780 The next thing you know, he's like,
00:25:33.100 oh, fuck, he'll hold that lighter
00:25:34.660 against the side of a damn federal building
00:25:37.420 for an hour and a half.
00:25:39.500 So, but to have people that are really coming out
00:25:42.580 in that, you know, in that care
00:25:44.620 and it's just exciting.
00:25:46.220 And it's an excitement that in some ways
00:25:48.060 I'm just getting used to.
00:25:49.480 And then it's a lot, you know, you get,
00:25:53.920 it's a lot and it's new.
00:25:55.420 And, you know, I hadn't been taking
00:25:56.460 that good care of myself.
00:25:57.340 I've been trying to do more working out
00:25:58.700 and staying athletic and, you know,
00:26:00.800 getting my blood going just to keep my brain
00:26:04.220 in a more comfortable place.
00:26:06.680 Because I guess I just feel like
00:26:08.020 some more responsibility and stuff these days.
00:26:10.720 But I'm grateful to the people that came out.
00:26:12.540 If I didn't get to meet you,
00:26:13.820 then we'll do it next time.
00:26:15.840 And thank you guys very much in Utah.
00:26:21.780 What else?
00:26:22.500 I have D.C. and Lexington coming up.
00:26:25.620 And then we got to,
00:26:26.740 we do, there's a bunch of new dates for the spring.
00:26:28.940 And I'm so excited.
00:26:31.540 I think late spring,
00:26:33.060 it's looking like I'm going to, you know,
00:26:34.700 jump across the pond.
00:26:36.640 Maybe in both directions for Australia and the U.K.
00:26:41.320 So that should be good stuff.
00:26:43.360 As always, you can hit the hotline
00:26:45.740 to be a part of the show.
00:26:46.760 And that number is 985-664-9503.
00:26:55.080 Yeah, and I'm happy to be home, man.
00:26:57.620 You know, I had a nice time though in Salt Lake City.
00:26:59.900 It's a beautiful city.
00:27:01.460 And you need skin moisturizer though in Salt Lake City.
00:27:05.360 If you're going to Salt Lake City
00:27:06.880 and you don't have any moisturizer,
00:27:08.960 you might not make it.
00:27:10.580 Dude, I woke up in the morning,
00:27:12.700 I'm scratching and itching,
00:27:14.240 I'm bleeding on it, you know,
00:27:15.960 my elbows and stuff, everything's dry.
00:27:19.440 My mind feels, you know,
00:27:20.880 my mouth tastes like I maybe,
00:27:22.400 you know, like old Cinnamon Wilson
00:27:23.760 hit me with about nine handfuls
00:27:25.560 while I was sleeping.
00:27:27.400 I'm dried out.
00:27:28.460 I thought a damn scorpion
00:27:30.300 was going to just crawl out of one side of my mouth.
00:27:32.460 Because I was just,
00:27:35.700 you know, it's dry.
00:27:37.620 So I say if you go up there,
00:27:39.280 take extra water,
00:27:41.200 you know,
00:27:41.660 the airport should let you bring water to Utah.
00:27:44.680 Because you need it.
00:27:46.440 Take extra water,
00:27:47.640 moisturizer.
00:27:49.060 Fuck, I don't care if you buy
00:27:50.100 a couple damn bags of plasma
00:27:51.560 off the, you know,
00:27:52.580 off the black web or whatever.
00:27:54.540 But show up
00:27:55.380 because that shit,
00:27:56.080 you'll be dried out.
00:27:58.460 Dude, you show up,
00:27:59.620 you have a ninth birthday party
00:28:01.980 in Salt Lake City.
00:28:05.460 And by the time it's over,
00:28:06.740 you'll look about 35.
00:28:08.880 Dude, that shit,
00:28:09.380 you get,
00:28:09.940 dude, moisture.
00:28:12.320 Dude, moisture is God's buttercream.
00:28:16.180 And he put it into us
00:28:17.200 because he wants us to stay frothy.
00:28:19.660 And they're not doing that
00:28:21.700 very well in Utah.
00:28:23.800 But a beautiful place.
00:28:24.920 I went to go visit my buddy Josh Kelly.
00:28:27.080 And he is a,
00:28:28.380 he's a musician.
00:28:29.940 And he,
00:28:30.700 I used to work as a tour manager for him.
00:28:32.320 One of my first jobs
00:28:33.640 was tour managing
00:28:35.680 for Mr. Joshua Kelly.
00:28:38.340 And he's had some good hits
00:28:39.440 over the years.
00:28:39.980 And he comes from a very talented family.
00:28:43.820 And he has a farm up there.
00:28:45.380 And they got pigs
00:28:46.200 and little,
00:28:47.360 you know,
00:28:48.300 goats.
00:28:49.600 And they got foster children.
00:28:51.700 I'm not counting those as animals.
00:28:53.080 They're beautiful.
00:28:53.680 He's got two beautiful
00:28:54.480 little foster girls.
00:28:56.400 And it just really lifted my heart up
00:28:58.360 in a lot of ways.
00:28:59.620 You know,
00:29:00.360 it's really special
00:29:01.060 when you see somebody
00:29:02.360 doing foster care
00:29:04.540 and doing it well.
00:29:06.200 And just,
00:29:07.340 you know,
00:29:09.380 just opening their arms
00:29:10.780 and their,
00:29:11.520 their lives
00:29:13.300 and their hearts
00:29:13.920 and their wallets,
00:29:15.200 you know,
00:29:15.700 to help,
00:29:18.140 you know,
00:29:19.200 to help some young children.
00:29:20.340 And one of his foster children
00:29:21.400 is from Louisiana.
00:29:23.120 And I hope I'm not talking
00:29:24.720 outside of shop
00:29:25.520 or outside of school here.
00:29:26.560 But,
00:29:27.220 you know,
00:29:27.500 it's kind of,
00:29:28.360 you know,
00:29:28.760 for me,
00:29:29.220 just being from Louisiana,
00:29:30.360 it was just,
00:29:30.940 it's just kind of a special thing.
00:29:32.240 So,
00:29:32.760 we went over there
00:29:33.660 and petted the animals
00:29:34.540 by his house.
00:29:35.360 They got donkeys
00:29:36.200 and they got some fainting,
00:29:38.780 you know,
00:29:40.220 whatever those are,
00:29:40.960 little fainting javelinas
00:29:42.240 or something
00:29:42.700 they had Christmas bells on.
00:29:45.280 And dude,
00:29:45.920 it's beautiful.
00:29:47.420 I know that,
00:29:48.320 you know,
00:29:48.600 I don't,
00:29:49.640 you know,
00:29:50.160 I've seen some animals,
00:29:51.300 I've seen an animal
00:29:51.980 get hit by lightning.
00:29:53.040 I've seen a Doberman
00:29:53.940 jump out the back
00:29:54.780 of a damn,
00:29:55.840 you know,
00:29:56.500 a Nissan truck
00:29:57.780 doing about 80
00:29:59.100 on the interstate
00:29:59.900 and he did it by himself.
00:30:01.420 That Doberman,
00:30:02.400 he didn't want to be alive,
00:30:03.900 I guess,
00:30:04.480 but,
00:30:05.400 but I've never seen,
00:30:08.360 you know,
00:30:09.180 they have one of these,
00:30:10.560 you know,
00:30:11.720 these javelinas,
00:30:12.580 they got these jingle bells
00:30:13.680 on them for the holidays
00:30:14.780 and then
00:30:15.380 they're like fainter.
00:30:16.920 So,
00:30:17.120 if they get spooked
00:30:17.780 or something,
00:30:18.220 they faint,
00:30:18.780 they hit the ground.
00:30:21.000 And it's almost like
00:30:21.880 musical chairs,
00:30:22.820 you know,
00:30:23.060 you're excited to hear
00:30:24.040 the music from the jingle bells
00:30:25.520 and then they faint out
00:30:26.660 and hit the ground.
00:30:28.780 So,
00:30:29.320 pretty cool to see them
00:30:30.080 have these dropping like that.
00:30:32.140 But we had some great calls
00:30:33.300 that came in.
00:30:34.000 I'm going to get to
00:30:34.640 a couple of them
00:30:35.360 and thank you guys so much
00:30:37.280 for coming out in Utah
00:30:39.140 and happy early holidays.
00:30:41.300 This is a good time.
00:30:42.680 You know,
00:30:42.980 this is a good time to,
00:30:44.420 you know,
00:30:44.900 stretch your arms out wide
00:30:48.080 and then wrap them around
00:30:50.520 somebody else.
00:30:52.060 This is that hugging season
00:30:53.200 because people are cold
00:30:55.280 and a hug,
00:30:56.720 that's like a,
00:30:57.340 that's a fucking,
00:30:58.140 that's a little scarf.
00:31:00.060 You know,
00:31:00.460 when you show up with somebody,
00:31:01.460 when you hug them,
00:31:02.100 you put them in that soft scarf.
00:31:05.500 You know,
00:31:06.160 you do that in the summertime,
00:31:07.580 you're kind of a pervert,
00:31:08.720 you're a creep,
00:31:09.720 you know,
00:31:10.500 you're a toucher.
00:31:13.060 You know,
00:31:13.560 but you do that
00:31:14.100 in the wintertime,
00:31:14.980 boy,
00:31:15.180 you're just fucking giving them
00:31:16.200 that full front body
00:31:17.380 cinnamon Wilson,
00:31:18.340 you feel me?
00:31:19.280 Just,
00:31:19.660 just,
00:31:20.640 people don't need to get that mad
00:31:21.940 if they're cold
00:31:22.480 and you hug them.
00:31:23.480 Go hug somebody that's cold.
00:31:26.740 Watch them smile.
00:31:28.420 Let's get to a couple calls
00:31:29.620 that came in,
00:31:30.460 man.
00:31:30.740 Thank you guys so much.
00:31:31.500 As always,
00:31:31.960 the hotline is
00:31:32.480 985-664-9503.
00:31:35.700 We had a great time
00:31:36.420 with our single mom
00:31:37.320 came out.
00:31:37.920 I want to thank
00:31:39.560 Justin and Roman
00:31:42.880 and,
00:31:43.980 oh man,
00:31:47.000 and I'm forgetting
00:31:47.660 his name right now.
00:31:48.940 Justin and Roman
00:31:50.140 and one other
00:31:51.840 lovely gentleman
00:31:53.040 who came out
00:31:54.260 and filmed and recorded
00:31:55.380 our single mom
00:31:56.360 voluntarily.
00:31:58.500 You know,
00:31:58.880 voluntarily, man.
00:32:00.260 And just really,
00:32:02.640 man,
00:32:02.960 just so kind.
00:32:04.640 And it was a hurry,
00:32:05.340 you know,
00:32:05.500 and I was like,
00:32:06.140 you know,
00:32:06.340 I got there like 10 minutes late,
00:32:07.620 a typical date,
00:32:08.660 you know.
00:32:09.620 Typical man date,
00:32:10.780 you know,
00:32:10.920 I'm showing up
00:32:11.400 a few minutes late.
00:32:12.720 Or me,
00:32:13.300 typical me.
00:32:14.660 So I get there
00:32:15.620 and we took the lady out
00:32:16.860 to the California's
00:32:18.400 pizza kitchen.
00:32:19.780 And they got other stuff.
00:32:20.940 They say pizza,
00:32:21.640 but they got salads,
00:32:22.620 you know.
00:32:24.260 And what else?
00:32:25.100 We went to an escape room
00:32:26.580 and played a game.
00:32:28.140 She came out
00:32:28.800 and brought her sister out,
00:32:29.840 a mother of three.
00:32:31.580 And Breezy,
00:32:32.880 that's her name.
00:32:34.240 This girl,
00:32:34.860 straight Breezy,
00:32:35.700 you know.
00:32:36.600 And that shit was
00:32:37.320 category four.
00:32:39.880 Wins,
00:32:40.360 baby.
00:32:40.700 She,
00:32:40.920 you know,
00:32:41.860 she was definitely
00:32:43.240 breezing past everybody.
00:32:45.160 You know,
00:32:45.360 she was,
00:32:45.800 you know,
00:32:46.140 she'd tick,
00:32:47.060 you know,
00:32:47.500 she'd tickle your nickel
00:32:48.580 if you,
00:32:49.560 you know,
00:32:49.980 you'd feel her go by.
00:32:50.920 She's really quite a current
00:32:52.100 of a woman
00:32:52.720 and a beautiful young mother
00:32:55.060 of three.
00:32:56.180 And we went out
00:32:57.040 and had a nice time.
00:32:57.980 And those guys
00:32:58.840 volunteered their time.
00:33:00.600 and they went
00:33:02.800 and planned ahead
00:33:03.640 and,
00:33:04.060 you know,
00:33:05.880 it's a great time
00:33:08.220 of year to do that,
00:33:08.960 to fill other people's hearts
00:33:10.140 with your time
00:33:11.700 and your ability.
00:33:14.160 And they just
00:33:15.000 reminded me of that.
00:33:15.920 They reminded me of,
00:33:17.100 it's funny,
00:33:19.660 even if I'm somewhere
00:33:20.420 helping out,
00:33:21.080 I'm somewhere
00:33:21.620 taking the mom out,
00:33:23.380 I don't always feel like
00:33:24.460 I'm doing something
00:33:25.240 for some reason.
00:33:26.860 But those guys,
00:33:27.800 man,
00:33:27.940 they showed up
00:33:28.620 and,
00:33:29.320 you know,
00:33:29.640 capturing the audio
00:33:30.580 and video.
00:33:31.460 And it was,
00:33:32.380 man,
00:33:32.560 it was fun.
00:33:33.620 It was really,
00:33:34.380 really fun.
00:33:34.700 I'll put a picture of them
00:33:35.620 of us up on the Instagrams
00:33:37.480 so you can see it.
00:33:39.080 But let's get to a couple
00:33:39.920 calls that came in.
00:33:40.920 As always,
00:33:41.360 the hotline,
00:33:41.820 985-664-9503.
00:33:45.980 We got some really,
00:33:46.960 really great ones.
00:33:48.060 People calling in about,
00:33:49.440 you know,
00:33:49.740 helping out with Nutvember.
00:33:51.000 People staying on their grind
00:33:52.300 and staying off their little
00:33:53.780 meat,
00:33:54.240 you know,
00:33:54.640 meat shooter
00:33:55.280 and trying not to do
00:33:56.920 touch-touch at the house,
00:33:58.300 you know.
00:33:58.960 Trying not to fucking
00:34:00.040 feed cinnamon to their Wilson,
00:34:02.100 you feel me?
00:34:03.640 As always,
00:34:04.360 I want to let you know
00:34:05.100 that today's episode
00:34:06.480 is brought to you
00:34:07.000 by HelloFresh.
00:34:08.560 And look,
00:34:09.160 there's a lot of things
00:34:09.900 I wouldn't eat.
00:34:11.420 Well,
00:34:11.940 is that true?
00:34:12.560 Actually,
00:34:12.840 I just fucking admitted
00:34:13.780 that I've eaten cinnamon
00:34:14.580 out of a man's hand
00:34:15.620 that my dad barely knew.
00:34:18.360 But there's a company
00:34:19.480 called HelloFresh.
00:34:21.240 And this past weekend
00:34:22.360 is supported in part
00:34:23.660 by HelloFresh.
00:34:25.180 And it's a great service
00:34:26.740 if you want to spend time
00:34:28.180 with your children
00:34:29.140 or your spouse
00:34:30.340 in the kitchen,
00:34:32.360 leave your phones
00:34:34.000 out in the living room
00:34:35.040 or lock them out
00:34:35.940 in the car or something
00:34:36.840 or in the van
00:34:37.540 if y'all got a van
00:34:38.500 or something
00:34:39.000 or hide them
00:34:39.860 in the garage
00:34:40.760 and you can be
00:34:44.300 and you spend time
00:34:46.020 you and your spouse,
00:34:47.460 you're cutting the radishes,
00:34:48.880 you know,
00:34:49.240 you're,
00:34:49.720 you know,
00:34:51.360 maybe you hug,
00:34:52.320 you know,
00:34:52.620 you're reaching around
00:34:53.920 your spouse
00:34:54.520 because you want to,
00:34:55.840 you know,
00:34:57.180 you know,
00:34:58.680 feel the noodle soup
00:35:00.000 or whatever.
00:35:00.660 You're spending time together.
00:35:02.460 That's what HelloFresh does.
00:35:04.720 And it has great food.
00:35:06.260 They deliver the ingredients
00:35:07.380 right to your house
00:35:08.040 and it's quick.
00:35:08.900 You can make it fast
00:35:09.800 but you're still spending time together.
00:35:11.680 I think it's a great fit
00:35:12.880 for today's lifestyles.
00:35:16.100 And it delivers
00:35:16.900 your favorite recipes
00:35:17.780 and pre-measured ingredients.
00:35:20.140 So if you got the kid there
00:35:21.500 and he ain't doing well
00:35:22.420 in school,
00:35:24.040 at least he could,
00:35:24.840 you know,
00:35:25.700 this is like,
00:35:26.380 you know,
00:35:26.720 anybody that's got a C average
00:35:28.220 can make this stuff.
00:35:30.160 They have three plans
00:35:31.300 to choose from,
00:35:31.980 classic veggie and family.
00:35:33.420 Each box.
00:35:34.660 They send you the box,
00:35:35.700 man,
00:35:35.780 and it's nice,
00:35:36.420 nice box.
00:35:37.300 They got,
00:35:38.020 fuck,
00:35:38.300 you could,
00:35:38.720 you know,
00:35:39.520 you could use the box
00:35:40.480 for other stuff
00:35:41.140 if you want.
00:35:42.140 You know,
00:35:42.500 get a little animal
00:35:43.320 and put it under there.
00:35:44.240 They got holes in the box.
00:35:45.240 The animal can breathe.
00:35:46.160 You could do that later
00:35:47.020 for dessert
00:35:47.620 and just pet the animal.
00:35:49.840 Non-edible dessert
00:35:50.860 just befriending a creature.
00:35:53.580 But each box
00:35:54.500 is made up of fresh,
00:35:55.480 responsibly obtained ingredients
00:35:57.540 from carefully selected
00:35:59.360 farms and high-rated
00:36:00.560 trusted sources.
00:36:02.340 Recipes take around
00:36:03.180 30 minutes.
00:36:04.360 They get delicious
00:36:05.020 filling meals delivered
00:36:05.920 right to your door.
00:36:06.560 It's healthy.
00:36:07.060 It's good.
00:36:07.780 And I promise you,
00:36:08.360 it is fun,
00:36:08.860 man.
00:36:08.940 I'm not joking.
00:36:09.820 This is a real joy,
00:36:11.400 especially this time of year.
00:36:13.940 Slow it down.
00:36:15.580 Do something
00:36:16.100 with your loved ones.
00:36:18.280 Go into the year
00:36:19.380 with a built-up bank
00:36:20.940 of just worth
00:36:24.640 and value
00:36:25.440 and esteem.
00:36:27.380 And I know I'm putting
00:36:28.080 a lot on Hella Fresh,
00:36:28.800 but, you know,
00:36:29.780 I like it.
00:36:31.540 For $20 off
00:36:32.880 your first three boxes,
00:36:34.600 which is a total
00:36:35.480 of $60 off,
00:36:37.040 visit HelloFresh.com
00:36:38.820 slash
00:36:39.700 T-H-E-O
00:36:41.340 six
00:36:41.960 zero
00:36:42.520 and enter promo code
00:36:44.400 T-H-E-O
00:36:45.540 six
00:36:46.220 zero.
00:36:47.400 That's
00:36:47.640 HelloFresh.com
00:36:48.740 slash
00:36:49.520 Theo
00:36:50.060 number six
00:36:51.560 number zero.
00:36:52.580 Code
00:36:52.840 Theo
00:36:53.340 number six
00:36:54.560 number zero
00:36:55.460 for a total
00:36:56.280 of $60
00:36:57.040 off.
00:36:59.080 Okay,
00:36:59.520 let's get into
00:37:00.000 a couple calls here.
00:37:00.980 We got this one
00:37:01.560 right here.
00:37:02.860 Oh, man.
00:37:03.580 What's up, Theo?
00:37:04.420 This is Chris
00:37:05.200 calling from Long Island,
00:37:06.420 New York.
00:37:07.720 This is my
00:37:08.060 Chris Long Island,
00:37:09.440 Strong Island,
00:37:10.320 baby.
00:37:11.600 And I don't know
00:37:12.280 why they call it
00:37:12.900 Long Island.
00:37:13.660 I mean,
00:37:13.920 it's probably,
00:37:14.580 you know,
00:37:15.100 well,
00:37:15.360 I'm an idiot.
00:37:16.080 Probably long
00:37:17.280 and feels
00:37:19.300 kind of lonesome
00:37:20.020 like I do
00:37:20.560 sometimes.
00:37:22.600 Onward.
00:37:23.380 I call for the podcast.
00:37:25.400 I don't think
00:37:26.100 it would be interesting.
00:37:27.200 I just wanted
00:37:27.640 to let you know,
00:37:28.260 I just listened
00:37:28.740 to the Nutvember
00:37:29.880 podcast
00:37:31.300 from last weekend
00:37:31.920 at the end.
00:37:33.240 Yep,
00:37:33.740 and I'm going on
00:37:34.560 right now.
00:37:35.060 Let me see.
00:37:38.460 I got about
00:37:39.280 six days
00:37:40.000 of that juicy,
00:37:40.920 juicy in me
00:37:41.640 right now.
00:37:43.160 You know,
00:37:43.740 if you hear
00:37:44.140 something kind of,
00:37:45.180 if when I'm talking
00:37:46.000 you hear a little bit
00:37:46.660 of gurgling
00:37:47.240 in the back
00:37:47.700 of my throat,
00:37:48.340 that's my chi
00:37:49.020 building up
00:37:49.840 because I'm
00:37:51.320 nutted up.
00:37:52.900 You know,
00:37:54.100 I got that,
00:37:55.060 I got that
00:37:55.860 cinnamon stack
00:37:56.640 starting to build
00:37:57.380 in the back of me.
00:37:59.800 You know,
00:38:00.360 that's what I'm saying
00:38:01.040 and we can do that.
00:38:02.340 You know,
00:38:02.540 you can hold
00:38:03.000 on to your newt,
00:38:03.980 hold the line.
00:38:05.700 V at Nut.
00:38:06.620 This is our
00:38:07.240 V at Nut.
00:38:08.860 Onward.
00:38:09.680 You said
00:38:10.400 this is your
00:38:10.840 most selfish podcast
00:38:12.000 and the whole time
00:38:13.280 I listened to this podcast
00:38:14.220 I was thinking
00:38:14.680 this is his best ever,
00:38:15.940 most helpful podcast.
00:38:16.660 Just useful,
00:38:18.800 funny,
00:38:20.120 just your heart
00:38:21.320 came across
00:38:22.040 in that one.
00:38:23.060 And I just
00:38:24.200 couldn't let it go
00:38:25.120 that at the end
00:38:25.980 you thought it was
00:38:26.500 so selfish
00:38:26.980 but I know
00:38:27.580 it wasn't.
00:38:28.580 I just know
00:38:29.160 it wasn't.
00:38:29.960 So I'm just calling
00:38:30.720 to let you know
00:38:31.240 I appreciate you.
00:38:32.080 I'm getting emotional
00:38:32.720 now.
00:38:32.940 I appreciate you a lot.
00:38:34.160 Just keep doing
00:38:34.760 everything you do
00:38:35.500 in the same way.
00:38:37.120 Thanks, man.
00:38:39.580 Onward, sorry.
00:38:40.740 All right.
00:38:43.320 You're not going
00:38:43.920 to call back
00:38:44.320 but my phone number
00:38:45.040 is
00:38:45.180 and just
00:38:47.300 you're doing great
00:38:47.980 and you're the best,
00:38:49.140 man.
00:38:49.360 Thanks.
00:38:50.120 Yeah, thanks for calling,
00:38:51.360 man.
00:38:51.860 I appreciate the message.
00:38:54.320 I, uh,
00:38:55.060 yeah, I don't know
00:38:57.560 why, man.
00:38:58.100 I think I've just
00:38:58.980 been feeling
00:38:59.420 really strange
00:39:00.240 recently.
00:39:00.700 I've just been
00:39:01.240 feeling like
00:39:02.060 I don't know.
00:39:06.520 I've just been
00:39:07.220 feeling like
00:39:07.980 not that good
00:39:08.700 to be honest
00:39:09.220 with you.
00:39:10.700 You know,
00:39:11.180 I've just been
00:39:11.500 feeling like
00:39:12.580 I don't know,
00:39:14.820 like no matter
00:39:15.140 what I do
00:39:15.900 like it's not
00:39:16.800 enough,
00:39:17.320 you know.
00:39:17.640 and I don't know
00:39:20.160 why I feel
00:39:20.660 that way
00:39:21.020 sometimes.
00:39:22.840 Um,
00:39:23.760 and I'm kind
00:39:25.680 of tired,
00:39:26.220 honestly, man,
00:39:26.860 I'm kind of tired
00:39:27.480 of it.
00:39:28.720 You know,
00:39:29.160 I'm tired
00:39:29.500 of feeling
00:39:29.820 that way
00:39:30.360 and I don't
00:39:31.660 know if it's
00:39:31.960 because like
00:39:32.220 we live in
00:39:32.580 like a time
00:39:33.120 now where it
00:39:33.580 like makes you
00:39:34.180 feel like you
00:39:34.460 have to always
00:39:34.940 be doing stuff
00:39:35.940 or, you know,
00:39:37.640 maybe I'm
00:39:38.020 getting older
00:39:38.640 and I'm starting
00:39:39.200 to just think
00:39:39.800 about like,
00:39:41.720 you know,
00:39:42.380 just what the
00:39:42.960 vow, like,
00:39:43.680 you know,
00:39:44.100 what's important.
00:39:44.820 I don't know
00:39:45.360 but I
00:39:47.620 appreciate you
00:39:48.060 saying that.
00:39:48.640 That's nice
00:39:49.080 of you, man.
00:39:49.580 You know
00:39:49.820 what?
00:39:51.160 Let me get
00:39:51.860 this hitter
00:39:52.380 right here.
00:39:54.000 This is the
00:39:54.540 free, we live
00:39:55.380 in 2018.
00:39:56.420 I can call
00:39:56.940 people back.
00:39:59.080 Let me see
00:39:59.620 what I can do
00:40:00.280 here.
00:40:12.600 I can't do
00:40:12.920 this one.
00:40:14.900 Chris.
00:40:15.360 Oh, hey,
00:40:20.820 Chris.
00:40:22.040 Yes.
00:40:22.620 Hey, what
00:40:22.960 up, man?
00:40:23.320 This is Theo.
00:40:27.980 Oh, man,
00:40:28.600 I'm doing good,
00:40:29.340 man.
00:40:29.480 I was just
00:40:29.760 listening to your
00:40:30.200 message, man.
00:40:30.780 I thought it
00:40:31.080 was real,
00:40:31.500 real nice of you,
00:40:32.060 dude.
00:40:32.160 I just wanted
00:40:32.460 to call and
00:40:32.860 say thanks.
00:40:33.240 Oh, man,
00:40:33.780 I meant that.
00:40:35.120 That was such
00:40:36.180 a great podcast.
00:40:37.000 When you said
00:40:37.440 it was selfish
00:40:37.920 at the end,
00:40:38.360 I said,
00:40:38.640 oh, no,
00:40:39.300 I never felt
00:40:39.880 like calling,
00:40:40.400 but I said,
00:40:40.740 I had to just
00:40:41.180 say it.
00:40:41.560 I had to tell
00:40:41.980 you.
00:40:42.540 Well, I
00:40:42.900 appreciate it,
00:40:43.400 man.
00:40:43.540 For one,
00:40:43.900 it's nice to
00:40:44.320 hear a New York
00:40:44.820 accent, dude.
00:40:45.440 It makes me feel
00:40:45.880 like I'm doing
00:40:46.400 something with
00:40:46.920 my life.
00:40:47.720 It makes me feel
00:40:48.440 like I'm caught
00:40:48.940 up into the
00:40:50.780 underworld of
00:40:51.640 some type of
00:40:53.120 mafia style in
00:40:54.080 my brain.
00:40:56.500 Well, I don't
00:40:57.200 know if it's
00:40:57.580 exactly like that,
00:40:58.420 but I got a
00:41:00.100 bunch of friends
00:41:00.640 I turned on to
00:41:01.380 you, and we
00:41:01.820 all really
00:41:02.720 appreciate it.
00:41:03.400 I go through
00:41:06.800 some similar
00:41:07.580 struggles, and I'm
00:41:08.580 trying to get
00:41:09.080 sober myself.
00:41:10.560 It almost
00:41:12.380 sounds embarrassing
00:41:12.960 to say, but I
00:41:14.100 relate to it.
00:41:14.860 I relate to all
00:41:15.660 of it, and I
00:41:16.460 get straight from
00:41:17.140 it, and I just
00:41:18.140 appreciate it so
00:41:18.920 much.
00:41:19.200 I really appreciate
00:41:20.060 you so much,
00:41:20.920 brother.
00:41:21.740 Well, thanks,
00:41:22.560 dude.
00:41:22.800 Yeah, I guess I
00:41:24.660 don't know why I
00:41:25.200 just feel like that
00:41:25.920 sometimes, man.
00:41:26.500 I guess I just
00:41:27.080 feel...
00:41:28.780 Yeah, I don't
00:41:29.180 know.
00:41:29.340 It's like I'll
00:41:29.880 do an episode
00:41:31.800 or something, and
00:41:32.540 then I just feel
00:41:33.380 like, I don't
00:41:33.920 know, like I
00:41:34.420 just didn't...
00:41:35.880 I don't know.
00:41:36.900 I don't know.
00:41:37.700 I've just been
00:41:38.060 feeling, I think,
00:41:38.700 really strange, like
00:41:39.460 not being able to
00:41:40.060 feel of use or
00:41:42.140 of value, you
00:41:43.160 know?
00:41:44.060 Really?
00:41:45.000 Really?
00:41:45.680 Yeah.
00:41:47.480 Man, just...
00:41:48.720 But I don't...
00:41:49.740 I guess I could
00:41:51.020 understand it, but
00:41:51.840 it's hard for me to
00:41:52.560 believe it, because
00:41:53.320 I feel like you
00:41:54.540 must be getting so
00:41:55.380 much love back
00:41:56.220 right now.
00:41:56.800 You must be,
00:41:57.460 no, Theo?
00:41:57.920 Yeah, no, I
00:41:59.280 get a lot of...
00:41:59.780 Yeah, I get a lot
00:42:00.500 of people that,
00:42:02.420 you know, send
00:42:03.480 nice messages, send
00:42:04.760 nice DMs, people
00:42:05.860 come out to the
00:42:06.420 show and say nice
00:42:07.200 stuff.
00:42:07.740 I don't know what
00:42:08.400 it is, man.
00:42:08.860 Well, I was
00:42:10.300 listening to your
00:42:11.120 voicemail, and it
00:42:11.840 just kind of hit me.
00:42:12.680 I was like, man,
00:42:13.320 then I don't know
00:42:13.920 why I don't have
00:42:15.280 like a healthy
00:42:17.600 view of like just
00:42:19.020 whatever's going
00:42:19.640 on in my own
00:42:20.220 world, you know?
00:42:21.560 Yeah, yeah, but
00:42:22.260 man, that makes a
00:42:23.480 lot of sense to me,
00:42:24.100 because I've been
00:42:25.680 a teacher, I've been
00:42:26.300 a public school
00:42:26.840 teacher for 11
00:42:27.520 years.
00:42:28.300 And I get the
00:42:29.100 most beautiful
00:42:29.740 letters written to
00:42:30.500 me by my students
00:42:31.320 about how much I've
00:42:32.300 affected them and
00:42:33.160 helped them and
00:42:34.060 touched them and
00:42:34.660 they learned from
00:42:35.180 me.
00:42:35.720 But yet in my own
00:42:36.380 personal life, I'm
00:42:37.260 still all fucked up
00:42:38.120 in my head and I
00:42:38.860 still can't do the
00:42:40.040 things I want to
00:42:40.760 do.
00:42:41.120 And like, I got
00:42:42.000 two daughters and
00:42:42.720 I know I'm a good
00:42:43.680 dad, but yet still I
00:42:45.220 can't get out of my
00:42:45.900 own way when it
00:42:46.840 comes to my own
00:42:47.460 health and just
00:42:48.520 being okay with me
00:42:49.480 fully.
00:42:50.600 Yeah.
00:42:50.800 I guess it's just,
00:42:51.620 I guess it's not
00:42:52.280 just everything you get
00:42:53.140 back.
00:42:53.500 I guess it's hard to
00:42:54.580 explain that.
00:42:55.280 We gotta, like it's a
00:42:56.300 practice.
00:42:56.660 We gotta keep
00:42:57.200 working on it maybe,
00:42:58.120 you know?
00:42:58.380 Yeah, I don't know.
00:42:59.920 I mean, even while
00:43:00.380 you're saying that,
00:43:00.900 it's got me kind of
00:43:01.560 thinking about it.
00:43:02.220 Yeah, I don't, that's
00:43:03.200 so wild that we can't,
00:43:05.920 yeah, it's like we
00:43:06.580 won't give ourselves,
00:43:09.080 I guess it's like I'm
00:43:10.160 scared to feel like good
00:43:11.460 about myself because
00:43:12.400 it's like, I don't
00:43:14.680 know if I just don't
00:43:15.820 know, like I'm, what
00:43:18.540 if I start feeling good
00:43:19.340 about myself, am I
00:43:20.060 going to feel like too
00:43:20.920 good about myself?
00:43:22.000 Am I going to be,
00:43:23.600 become like a bad
00:43:24.620 person?
00:43:25.020 I don't know.
00:43:26.160 I don't know.
00:43:27.400 It's like you're full
00:43:28.180 of doubt, like just
00:43:29.140 full of doubt, like
00:43:30.020 that's not sure.
00:43:31.140 I mean, I don't want
00:43:32.100 to put words into
00:43:32.680 your mouth, but it
00:43:33.720 sounds like you're
00:43:34.380 just like doubtful,
00:43:36.200 just not, I don't
00:43:36.800 know.
00:43:37.020 Yeah, like I don't
00:43:37.560 deserve to feel, like
00:43:38.500 I don't know if it's
00:43:39.020 I don't deserve to
00:43:39.900 feel good, but like
00:43:41.740 if somebody, I don't
00:43:43.120 know, I don't know,
00:43:44.040 man, this is
00:43:44.400 interesting.
00:43:44.760 That's why when I
00:43:45.300 heard this, I was
00:43:45.760 like, oh God, and
00:43:46.760 you left your number,
00:43:47.500 I was like, I'm
00:43:47.880 going to freaking
00:43:48.220 call this dude
00:43:48.920 back.
00:43:49.300 Yeah, I almost
00:43:51.280 didn't want to leave
00:43:52.000 it because I thought
00:43:52.660 maybe then you
00:43:54.480 just called because
00:43:55.680 he wanted them to
00:43:56.260 call back, but no,
00:43:57.640 I thought I was
00:43:58.640 hoping to maybe, I
00:43:59.600 don't know, I just
00:44:00.340 left the number and
00:44:00.940 you called it, so it
00:44:01.760 worked out.
00:44:02.560 I'm keeping you on
00:44:03.380 the line too long.
00:44:04.080 You just wanted to
00:44:04.700 call to say you
00:44:05.660 appreciated it, so I
00:44:06.660 appreciate you calling
00:44:07.520 me, Theo.
00:44:08.040 Thank you so much.
00:44:09.120 Yeah, you bet, man.
00:44:10.160 Thanks so much, dude,
00:44:10.840 and this is my number.
00:44:11.640 You have it.
00:44:12.020 If you need
00:44:12.380 something, hit me up
00:44:13.020 if I can give you
00:44:13.620 some suggestions or
00:44:14.500 something about the
00:44:15.140 cast, you know, but
00:44:17.440 yeah, I don't know,
00:44:18.080 man, I don't know
00:44:18.940 what that is.
00:44:19.480 I think, you know,
00:44:20.200 maybe it's something
00:44:20.620 I need to just think
00:44:21.400 about more, talking
00:44:22.300 to like a therapist
00:44:23.120 or friends about
00:44:23.900 just, yeah, why I
00:44:25.460 just like.
00:44:27.520 Is it, you really
00:44:29.360 feel like you're not
00:44:30.580 doing the right thing
00:44:31.400 or what is it?
00:44:32.540 I just feel like
00:44:33.620 just, yeah, just
00:44:34.320 disconnected or I
00:44:35.360 just feel, I don't
00:44:36.720 know, I feel like
00:44:37.960 I.
00:44:38.780 From what everyone
00:44:39.520 says, LA is a hard
00:44:40.780 place to really
00:44:41.400 connect with people
00:44:42.140 on that level, I
00:44:43.020 guess.
00:44:43.300 I don't know, is
00:44:43.760 that part of it or.
00:44:45.300 Yeah, no, it
00:44:46.180 definitely is.
00:44:46.760 It's not like, yeah,
00:44:48.080 you don't have a
00:44:48.540 lot of like connective
00:44:49.340 conversations and
00:44:50.200 stuff out here.
00:44:51.560 Right.
00:44:52.480 I don't know, you
00:44:53.400 know, I don't know
00:44:53.780 what it is that maybe
00:44:54.380 I just need to go to
00:44:54.940 more meetings and just
00:44:55.880 kind of like listen to
00:44:56.800 others, you know, or
00:44:57.560 something.
00:44:57.940 I don't know what it
00:44:58.520 is.
00:44:59.480 But yeah, man, I
00:44:59.940 appreciate the call,
00:45:00.560 man.
00:45:00.640 It was really nice of
00:45:01.320 you, dude.
00:45:01.580 It was like the
00:45:01.940 nicest thing I got.
00:45:02.880 So thank you.
00:45:04.320 Theo, thank you.
00:45:05.340 Keep doing you.
00:45:06.360 I wish you the best of
00:45:07.600 luck and all my love
00:45:08.880 and just thank you so
00:45:09.740 much.
00:45:10.320 Thank you.
00:45:10.920 Yeah, you bet,
00:45:11.540 brother.
00:45:11.740 Have a good day, man.
00:45:12.540 Happy early holidays.
00:45:14.200 You too, Theo.
00:45:15.040 Good night, man.
00:45:15.720 Cheers, brother.
00:45:17.840 Wow, that was nice of
00:45:18.700 him, man.
00:45:20.040 You know, just nice of
00:45:20.840 him to say that.
00:45:22.360 You know, I'm going to
00:45:22.760 listen back to his call
00:45:23.720 one more time here so I
00:45:24.840 can get another vibe for
00:45:26.020 it.
00:45:26.340 Chris calling from
00:45:27.240 Long Island, New York.
00:45:28.940 This is not a call for
00:45:29.940 the podcast.
00:45:30.360 I don't think it would
00:45:32.360 be interesting.
00:45:33.340 I just wanted to let
00:45:34.020 you know, I just
00:45:34.640 listened to the
00:45:35.380 Nutvember podcast from
00:45:37.600 last week and at the
00:45:38.400 end, you said this is
00:45:40.240 your most selfish
00:45:40.940 podcast.
00:45:41.740 And the whole time I
00:45:42.920 listened to this
00:45:43.440 podcast, I was thinking
00:45:44.200 this is his best ever,
00:45:45.440 most helpful podcast.
00:45:47.100 Just useful, funny.
00:45:49.980 Just your heart came
00:45:51.120 across in that one.
00:45:53.140 Yeah, I don't know why
00:45:54.060 I've just been feeling
00:45:54.660 so selfish.
00:45:55.200 I don't know why I've
00:45:55.840 been feeling selfish.
00:45:56.700 I don't know what that
00:45:57.320 is inside of me.
00:45:58.140 I just feel selfish, man.
00:46:01.360 You know, and honestly
00:46:02.460 that I just feel kind
00:46:03.440 of like this is going
00:46:04.140 to seem crazy, man.
00:46:04.860 I just feel like ashamed
00:46:05.660 of myself for some
00:46:06.580 reason.
00:46:16.160 You know, I don't know
00:46:17.000 why I think maybe just
00:46:18.240 I don't know.
00:46:23.840 I think part of me feels
00:46:24.660 like, you know, I don't
00:46:25.200 have all the tools like,
00:46:27.220 you know, to know if I'm
00:46:28.640 like not going to fail
00:46:29.560 myself, you know.
00:46:38.660 Yeah, I don't know why,
00:46:39.660 man.
00:46:39.840 I don't know why I
00:46:40.480 just feel, I just feel
00:46:45.220 like I'm not, and I'm
00:46:46.740 not, look, I'm not
00:46:47.420 looking for like people
00:46:48.340 to say, look, you're
00:46:49.020 doing a good job and
00:46:49.820 stuff like that.
00:46:50.160 I'm trying to just feel
00:46:50.960 my feelings, you know.
00:46:52.260 You know, I'm not afraid
00:46:53.020 of my feelings.
00:46:53.660 In fact, dude, I wish I
00:46:59.040 had more feelings because
00:47:00.000 then I know what's going
00:47:00.960 on with me.
00:47:02.660 You know, when I don't
00:47:03.340 have any feelings, that's
00:47:04.260 I think that's some of
00:47:05.100 what's been going on.
00:47:05.860 I just haven't been
00:47:06.260 having a lot of feelings
00:47:07.020 and so then I get
00:47:07.760 scared, you know, because
00:47:10.080 like, you know, ever
00:47:12.120 since I got into like AA
00:47:13.240 and started doing
00:47:14.000 sobriety and that, I
00:47:16.740 started having a lot more
00:47:17.600 feelings, you know, and
00:47:18.500 some of them for the
00:47:19.080 first time in my whole
00:47:19.740 life.
00:47:20.640 So I started like, you
00:47:22.360 know, for like the first
00:47:23.060 time in my life, I felt
00:47:23.980 like a, like a living
00:47:24.780 person, you know, because
00:47:26.620 before that, all my
00:47:27.460 feelings were just like
00:47:28.200 in my head, like all my
00:47:29.240 feelings were just like
00:47:30.040 strong thoughts and
00:47:32.100 understanding of moments
00:47:33.360 and like, you know, I'd
00:47:34.340 seen moments on
00:47:35.100 television and so I knew
00:47:36.640 how to act and all of
00:47:37.500 these moments and stuff
00:47:38.480 but I, and I was present
00:47:39.760 and I cared but I just
00:47:41.000 didn't, I couldn't feel
00:47:41.900 that good and then I got
00:47:44.480 into AA and I could just
00:47:45.420 feel better or I could
00:47:48.080 feel at all and I think
00:47:50.020 maybe I've just been
00:47:50.620 having going to enough
00:47:51.440 meetings or like, I
00:47:54.380 don't know, I think just
00:47:55.780 a lot going on, you
00:47:56.700 know, you know, and a
00:47:58.100 lot's been going on in
00:47:58.880 my life.
00:47:59.340 It's been just a
00:47:59.920 different experience.
00:48:01.260 It's been a different
00:48:02.040 experience, you know,
00:48:03.700 going from like being the
00:48:04.640 chip on your shoulder,
00:48:06.140 feeling like the
00:48:06.780 underdog and then I
00:48:09.600 guess, you know, I just
00:48:10.680 worry that like if I
00:48:11.580 start to be like, you
00:48:14.040 know, not the underdog or
00:48:15.260 start to be successful,
00:48:16.320 feel that I'm just
00:48:18.880 going to like alienate
00:48:20.160 like the person, like
00:48:27.140 I'm going to alienate
00:48:27.940 like the kid who I
00:48:32.920 always felt that like
00:48:35.240 nobody cared about, you
00:48:36.360 know, if that makes any
00:48:37.280 sense.
00:48:40.000 Like suddenly, like if I
00:48:41.340 start to like live in
00:48:43.480 this place in my life
00:48:46.040 where more people
00:48:47.280 care, then I'm like
00:48:52.280 letting go of like the
00:48:53.380 kid that I've always
00:48:54.640 or the person I've
00:48:55.480 always been who I
00:48:57.400 felt, you know, growing
00:48:58.420 up and stuff was just
00:48:59.600 somebody that nobody
00:49:00.360 cared about.
00:49:03.320 I think something like
00:49:04.660 that.
00:49:05.920 There's something to do
00:49:06.940 with that.
00:49:07.820 I don't know.
00:49:09.340 But I don't even
00:49:12.540 know, I don't
00:49:13.560 know.
00:49:13.940 I'm not trying to
00:49:14.480 make everybody, you
00:49:15.560 know, I'm not trying to
00:49:16.280 like have a Debbie
00:49:17.000 Downer type of day or
00:49:18.100 anything like that, man.
00:49:18.880 I'm not.
00:49:20.820 I'm not sad.
00:49:22.820 You know, I'm just.
00:49:25.440 You know, I'm just
00:49:26.140 trying to monitor, you
00:49:27.880 know, what's going on
00:49:28.540 with me and how I feel
00:49:29.440 and it's just been a
00:49:30.120 little bit different.
00:49:32.180 And I've always only
00:49:33.140 known kind of one way
00:49:34.100 to be, you know, and
00:49:35.000 it's hard to.
00:49:40.100 Yeah, it's weird.
00:49:40.740 It's like I don't want
00:49:41.420 to hear people tell me
00:49:42.400 that I'm good at
00:49:43.060 something.
00:49:46.500 You know, I don't
00:49:47.360 want to hear that.
00:49:48.180 Like I don't want to
00:49:48.680 hear it like at a deep
00:49:49.620 level.
00:49:49.920 Like I can hear it up
00:49:50.660 here in my ears.
00:49:51.440 Yeah, I can hear it.
00:49:52.720 I can say thank you.
00:49:53.540 I'm glad you had fun,
00:49:54.380 you know, but I think
00:49:55.580 at a deep level, I
00:49:56.540 don't want to hear
00:49:57.080 people.
00:49:58.920 You know, I'm not
00:49:59.620 mad at people that say
00:50:00.600 nice things.
00:50:01.280 That's not what I'm
00:50:01.800 saying.
00:50:02.180 That's just like at a
00:50:03.560 deeper level.
00:50:04.060 If I hear that.
00:50:07.940 I don't know.
00:50:08.680 I don't know.
00:50:09.440 A deeper level.
00:50:11.460 Somebody, if I hear
00:50:12.260 somebody tell me that.
00:50:19.660 You know, I just think
00:50:20.480 that somewhere inside of
00:50:21.980 me, I always wanted to
00:50:23.160 hear that, you know,
00:50:24.680 even though I didn't
00:50:25.400 even know that I needed
00:50:26.360 to hear it.
00:50:27.560 You know, when I was
00:50:28.300 young, I just wanted to
00:50:29.120 tell somebody just, you
00:50:30.740 know, somebody who loved
00:50:31.480 me to tell me that they,
00:50:34.120 you know, that I was
00:50:35.320 doing a good job, you
00:50:36.500 know, and that I was
00:50:37.720 okay and that I was just
00:50:38.720 a good, you know, I
00:50:40.520 was just a good kid,
00:50:41.540 you know, that I was
00:50:42.460 okay.
00:50:43.840 Even if I sometimes
00:50:44.700 wasn't doing good, you
00:50:45.760 know, that I was okay.
00:50:46.880 And I think now as an
00:50:48.100 adult, you know, having
00:50:50.360 people be excited and
00:50:53.120 having people say, you're
00:50:54.280 good at this or, you
00:50:55.640 know, it's just, you
00:50:57.980 know, it's like a new
00:50:58.640 skin, you know, and I'm
00:51:01.140 grateful.
00:51:01.620 But it's just a lot, you
00:51:04.660 know, it's so, it's like
00:51:05.560 an emotional kind of
00:51:06.420 learning curve and stuff.
00:51:08.380 And I'm not trying to
00:51:09.340 sound like egomaniacal or
00:51:10.920 anything, man.
00:51:11.560 I look, you know, we may
00:51:14.620 never say, I may never
00:51:15.600 say, we may never sell
00:51:16.700 another ticket to a comedy
00:51:17.860 show.
00:51:19.800 And I'll be back just
00:51:20.880 fucking, you know, telling
00:51:22.080 riddles to fucking
00:51:22.940 arsonists.
00:51:24.360 You know, one dude was
00:51:25.460 throwing lit matches on the
00:51:26.760 stage.
00:51:27.540 What, bro?
00:51:28.260 What are you doing,
00:51:31.380 dude?
00:51:34.080 But, but yeah, anyway, so
00:51:36.600 that's just, I don't know
00:51:38.400 that, but anyway, Chris,
00:51:39.620 that's why I feel sometimes
00:51:40.720 I guess that, I don't
00:51:41.780 know.
00:51:42.380 I got to go to more
00:51:43.100 meetings, I think, and
00:51:43.960 just get more dialed in.
00:51:45.700 But anyway, I didn't mean
00:51:46.620 to get in a weird space.
00:51:47.860 I'm so grateful for the,
00:51:49.700 you know, for this
00:51:50.280 opportunity to come home
00:51:51.460 and have this here to
00:51:54.200 talk and to listen, you
00:51:55.220 know, and I thought it
00:51:55.720 was nice of Chris to
00:51:56.540 call and leave that
00:51:57.160 message, you know.
00:51:58.260 I think we live in a
00:51:59.220 different age these days
00:52:00.180 where it's okay, you
00:52:01.260 know, young men need a
00:52:03.860 lot of help.
00:52:05.580 You know, young men need
00:52:06.440 a lot of help.
00:52:09.100 You know, there's this
00:52:10.800 attack, there's this, I
00:52:14.000 do feel sometimes like
00:52:14.980 it's a, like, it's not
00:52:15.920 an attack on young men,
00:52:17.220 but there's, they're very
00:52:18.980 much, I feel like, being
00:52:20.080 neglected, you know, in
00:52:22.860 society.
00:52:23.840 And I feel like a lot of
00:52:25.680 the choices that,
00:52:26.960 we've been led to by
00:52:31.020 stronger powers in the
00:52:32.360 world and stuff like
00:52:33.260 that have led us away
00:52:34.320 from, you know, having
00:52:37.280 some, you know, helping
00:52:40.160 our men to learn and to
00:52:41.540 grow emotionally.
00:52:43.300 And, and I'm, and I'm
00:52:46.640 part of the problem.
00:52:47.600 I'm a victim of all of
00:52:48.660 that, I think.
00:52:49.340 I'm not like a victim,
00:52:50.280 like, woe is me, like,
00:52:51.300 I need to put a damn
00:52:52.040 tourniquet or something
00:52:52.960 or, you know, bum one
00:52:54.900 of those fucking neck
00:52:56.060 braces, those one size
00:52:57.260 fits all, even though I
00:52:58.280 have more, dude, I used
00:52:59.200 to wear a children's
00:52:59.920 medium, even up to last
00:53:01.160 year, because my neck has
00:53:02.680 always been real short.
00:53:04.260 And I've always had,
00:53:05.220 like, kind of that
00:53:05.620 shorter neck and I've
00:53:06.560 wanted more of a
00:53:07.180 medium's neck.
00:53:08.380 And I would wear a
00:53:09.240 children's medium neck
00:53:10.160 brace to kind of get
00:53:11.540 that extra fucking
00:53:12.400 quarter inch, you know.
00:53:13.500 At night, I would lay
00:53:14.300 there and keep it on for
00:53:15.020 about eight minutes.
00:53:16.180 Because you're not
00:53:16.800 supposed to keep one for
00:53:17.560 longer than eight minutes
00:53:18.560 if you're not, you know,
00:53:19.940 that's not doctor
00:53:20.700 recommended.
00:53:21.300 Anyway, let's take
00:53:25.060 another call, man.
00:53:26.040 Onward.
00:53:26.600 Hey, dude.
00:53:27.580 I just want to call
00:53:28.320 and apologize, bro.
00:53:29.820 I went to your show
00:53:30.440 last night.
00:53:32.140 I went by myself,
00:53:33.260 got a little nervous
00:53:34.220 to have some drinks,
00:53:35.920 too, and I started
00:53:36.660 hooting and hollering
00:53:38.160 a little too much
00:53:38.920 up front, dude,
00:53:39.760 and I feel bad.
00:53:40.860 I feel real bad,
00:53:41.740 honestly.
00:53:42.980 So I just want to call
00:53:43.960 and apologize, man.
00:53:45.240 I hope you don't hold
00:53:45.940 it against me, and I
00:53:47.840 fucking love the shit
00:53:48.640 out of you, man.
00:53:49.300 Great show.
00:53:49.940 So, and yeah, man,
00:53:51.580 keep doing what you're
00:53:52.300 doing.
00:53:53.560 I appreciate the apology,
00:53:55.020 man.
00:53:55.520 Yeah, I forgive you, bro.
00:53:57.000 You know, I appreciate it.
00:54:00.020 You know, I don't handle
00:54:01.040 those things sometimes
00:54:01.860 super great.
00:54:02.500 Sometimes I do okay.
00:54:04.300 But my thing is,
00:54:07.200 you know, and I
00:54:07.980 understand, yeah, you
00:54:09.000 know, you're excited
00:54:09.800 and, you know, people
00:54:10.680 have too many drinks
00:54:11.540 and then you don't even
00:54:12.360 know.
00:54:12.880 Then you just work
00:54:13.700 and freelance for vodka.
00:54:15.620 You know, suddenly you're
00:54:16.440 employed by vodka and,
00:54:17.800 you know, you clocked in
00:54:19.320 for work.
00:54:21.400 But it's just tough
00:54:22.280 sometimes if the show,
00:54:23.700 like, you know, because
00:54:24.540 I want everybody to
00:54:25.340 enjoy it.
00:54:26.780 And, you know, you
00:54:27.680 know, some comedians,
00:54:28.860 they work real hard on
00:54:29.780 the art and putting it
00:54:30.740 out there, and we just
00:54:32.160 want it to be a fun
00:54:32.880 experience.
00:54:33.700 So, I don't mind people
00:54:35.820 being a part of the
00:54:36.700 show.
00:54:37.100 I just don't want them
00:54:38.200 to try and make the
00:54:38.980 show about them.
00:54:42.060 Because, yeah, I mean,
00:54:42.880 because of the show,
00:54:43.840 because I don't feel
00:54:44.360 like the show is about
00:54:45.060 me.
00:54:45.520 Like, I feel like it's
00:54:46.300 the show.
00:54:48.060 You know, I'm not up
00:54:49.020 there the whole time
00:54:49.680 like, look at me.
00:54:51.060 I'm up there thinking,
00:54:52.560 let's make it fun.
00:54:54.640 Let's, you know, this
00:54:56.720 is how we're going to
00:54:57.440 do it.
00:54:57.880 This is what, you
00:54:58.780 know, let's make it a
00:55:00.660 joyous time.
00:55:02.460 And so, that's what
00:55:03.220 happens sometimes when
00:55:04.080 somebody gets, you
00:55:04.840 know, when you clock in
00:55:06.600 and you're working for,
00:55:07.560 you know, whatever you're
00:55:09.920 drinking over there.
00:55:10.760 If you're drinking.
00:55:11.440 Sometimes a lady, I
00:55:12.400 seen this lady the other
00:55:13.280 night.
00:55:13.520 She had a little, one
00:55:14.400 of those long straws
00:55:16.340 that, you know, or one
00:55:17.280 of, could have been a
00:55:18.300 damn hospital bag.
00:55:19.840 She might have been a
00:55:20.520 registered assistant or
00:55:21.900 something.
00:55:23.060 Or, you know, one of
00:55:23.720 them plasma jockeys or
00:55:25.020 one of those ladies that
00:55:25.820 comes in at night and
00:55:26.620 they're stealing plasma
00:55:27.560 out of senior citizens.
00:55:29.040 And that shit's happening
00:55:30.160 all over over there in
00:55:31.420 some of these different
00:55:32.040 communities, the
00:55:32.800 Hasidic community.
00:55:33.720 I think they caught
00:55:35.220 somebody doing it in,
00:55:36.820 where else?
00:55:38.560 I think over in Haiti.
00:55:41.140 And they got people
00:55:42.840 popping in and, you
00:55:44.100 know, they siphon and
00:55:45.520 plasma out of somebody's
00:55:46.860 step uncle or whatever.
00:55:49.400 But, yeah, but this lady
00:55:52.400 had one of those things
00:55:53.300 going into her purse.
00:55:54.340 She's fucking sipping on
00:55:55.400 some secret sauce right
00:55:56.660 there.
00:55:57.440 Out of a damn, you
00:55:59.080 know, Pierre Cardigan or
00:56:01.660 whatever the damn, you
00:56:03.440 know, purse brand is.
00:56:04.740 These ladies are, you
00:56:06.840 know, what are the, you
00:56:10.420 know, I don't know what
00:56:11.040 it's called, bed, bath
00:56:12.120 and briefcase, whatever
00:56:13.040 ladies are carrying things
00:56:14.520 around in.
00:56:15.720 She's sipping out of that
00:56:16.820 hitter right there.
00:56:17.940 So, yeah, just, you know,
00:56:19.920 I want you to, I want
00:56:20.720 everybody to have fun.
00:56:21.580 And I don't, fucking,
00:56:22.600 it's your life.
00:56:23.920 Here's what I say.
00:56:25.180 I appreciate your
00:56:25.880 apology, man.
00:56:26.520 It's nice of you to
00:56:27.220 call.
00:56:28.660 Let's take another call.
00:56:30.480 Here we go.
00:56:32.060 Yo, Theo, this is Gabe
00:56:33.760 from Las Vegas.
00:56:35.480 What's up from Las Vegas,
00:56:36.920 boy?
00:56:37.140 I mean, that's the
00:56:37.680 devil's butthole.
00:56:41.220 Beautiful people out
00:56:42.200 there, though, dude.
00:56:43.260 Beautiful people out
00:56:44.180 there in the desert.
00:56:45.320 Las Vegas, everybody
00:56:46.340 thinks it's just a strip,
00:56:47.460 but they got a lot of
00:56:48.140 real serious, good people
00:56:49.980 out there.
00:56:51.100 You know, a lot of
00:56:51.680 Latinos, a lot of white
00:56:53.000 people with sunburn.
00:56:54.880 You know, they got a lot
00:56:55.720 of people out there
00:56:56.580 raising dogs, a lot of
00:56:57.760 animal rescue.
00:56:59.180 The one dude died, that
00:57:00.520 fucking titty maverick,
00:57:01.740 whatever his name is, was.
00:57:03.240 You know, Captain Lou
00:57:04.640 Al, you know, Lou Al
00:57:06.540 Pacino or whatever that
00:57:07.760 guy was, the desert, you
00:57:09.360 know, posse captain.
00:57:11.620 Anyway, onward.
00:57:13.120 I'm calling in about
00:57:14.340 Sydney from Monday's
00:57:17.340 podcast.
00:57:18.760 She said she was having
00:57:19.720 issues with her
00:57:20.860 boyfriend watching porn
00:57:22.900 behind her back.
00:57:24.400 Oh, yeah.
00:57:24.860 And let's, we'll say,
00:57:25.740 real quick, we're going
00:57:26.740 to go back to the
00:57:27.240 Nutvember podcast episode
00:57:28.640 last week for a couple
00:57:29.700 seconds.
00:57:30.040 She can listen to her
00:57:31.780 call and she was having
00:57:33.320 issues, sexual issues
00:57:35.140 and sensual activity
00:57:36.240 issues with her and her
00:57:38.040 man because of
00:57:38.940 pornography.
00:57:40.940 This is Sydney in
00:57:42.380 Oklahoma.
00:57:43.380 I did find out not too
00:57:45.040 long ago that my
00:57:46.320 boyfriend had been
00:57:47.500 watching porn behind my
00:57:48.600 back.
00:57:49.440 He does know that I am
00:57:50.560 against it for my own
00:57:51.680 personal reasons.
00:57:53.980 Okay, so your boyfriend
00:57:55.000 was watching the
00:57:55.540 pornography behind your
00:57:56.720 back.
00:57:57.540 And that's really a fun
00:57:58.520 place to watch it.
00:57:59.220 I'll be honest.
00:57:59.720 It's just, you know,
00:58:00.760 that makes you, but
00:58:01.800 they make it feel more
00:58:02.560 secretive.
00:58:03.400 So you heard that and
00:58:04.320 let's pop back into your
00:58:05.320 call now.
00:58:05.900 Thank you for calling
00:58:06.520 onward.
00:58:07.940 And just want to give a
00:58:09.560 little tip.
00:58:10.780 Can probably, you know,
00:58:13.440 dabble in the filmmaking
00:58:14.440 a little bit.
00:58:15.300 Send him some naughty
00:58:16.260 photos, videos,
00:58:18.220 something to get his mind
00:58:20.920 off the pornography, to
00:58:22.220 replace the pornography.
00:58:24.180 And honestly, it doesn't
00:58:25.300 even have to be any new
00:58:26.460 videos.
00:58:27.080 Most guys do just fine
00:58:29.520 with like, you know,
00:58:30.900 you send a video of
00:58:31.800 cutting some watermelon
00:58:33.720 in a bra, maybe some
00:58:35.400 strawberries, you know,
00:58:36.320 that's more than enough
00:58:38.100 for most guys.
00:58:40.000 So, yeah.
00:58:41.340 Oh, yeah.
00:58:44.040 And that's a nice idea
00:58:45.300 right there.
00:58:47.480 You know, and I think if a
00:58:48.920 woman is to do this or a
00:58:50.300 man is to do this, if you
00:58:51.660 date in a man and you are a
00:58:53.020 man and you prefer to
00:58:55.020 accompany a man, you know,
00:58:56.320 you like that longer.
00:58:57.500 You feel me?
00:58:59.340 Then what I'm saying is if
00:59:01.300 you want to send some
00:59:02.060 nudity of yourself, that's
00:59:03.440 kind of yes.
00:59:05.540 Especially if your spouse
00:59:06.740 or your partner or
00:59:07.660 whatever has a problem, if
00:59:09.860 they're suffering.
00:59:11.520 And that's what she was
00:59:12.240 saying.
00:59:13.120 Her call, she's saying
00:59:14.020 that she believes that the
00:59:15.160 pornography has affected
00:59:16.360 their, you know, sensual
00:59:19.000 activities.
00:59:20.000 You know, playing, you
00:59:21.580 know, really close game of
00:59:22.620 freeze tag.
00:59:23.400 You know what I'm saying?
00:59:24.640 You're it.
00:59:25.200 You're it.
00:59:25.820 You feel me?
00:59:26.480 Sexual.
00:59:27.640 Doing full sexual.
00:59:28.740 And so, yeah, maybe
00:59:33.520 that's one thing you
00:59:34.360 could do.
00:59:35.480 Do some real naughty
00:59:36.720 things.
00:59:37.900 And here's another tip.
00:59:39.840 If you're going to send
00:59:40.680 some nudities of yourself,
00:59:42.680 don't send your face in
00:59:44.220 them.
00:59:45.560 If you're a man or one,
00:59:46.760 I don't care what you're
00:59:47.640 sending.
00:59:48.320 Ladies, don't send your
00:59:50.440 face.
00:59:52.100 It's not that.
00:59:54.040 Just to protect
00:59:55.240 yourself.
00:59:57.240 Don't, don't, you
00:59:57.840 know.
00:59:59.720 You don't have to do
01:00:00.860 that.
01:00:02.080 You know, some ladies,
01:00:03.220 you know, they'll be
01:00:04.020 naked.
01:00:04.500 They'll send you that
01:00:05.080 nudie.
01:00:06.480 And they'll have like a
01:00:07.580 makeup on or have a hat
01:00:09.140 on.
01:00:09.500 You don't need that.
01:00:10.920 Just the body.
01:00:12.660 Because the, you know,
01:00:13.580 man, especially, they're
01:00:14.780 thinking at that point
01:00:15.760 sexual.
01:00:17.940 Or maybe I'm just
01:00:18.940 thinking that.
01:00:19.440 And maybe that's my
01:00:20.080 problem.
01:00:21.280 You know, and that's one
01:00:21.860 of the side effects of
01:00:22.900 pornography that's really
01:00:23.980 negative is, and I'll say
01:00:27.020 this for myself, and I
01:00:28.120 know this for a fact, you
01:00:29.420 start to think of sex in
01:00:30.580 like frames.
01:00:32.080 You know, you start to
01:00:32.780 think of sex in the same
01:00:33.860 way that it's shot in the
01:00:35.060 videos.
01:00:35.460 Like, okay, I see
01:00:36.840 someone, I meet them.
01:00:38.320 Okay, now we're in bed.
01:00:39.680 Now we're in this lewd
01:00:40.500 position, and I'm
01:00:41.380 envisioning this, you know,
01:00:43.240 this little crotch area or
01:00:44.780 something.
01:00:45.180 And I'm in, you know, I'm
01:00:46.220 seeing the titties out
01:00:47.300 there or something, or
01:00:48.200 seeing the balls.
01:00:49.080 If you're doing the wild,
01:00:50.960 you know, if you're out
01:00:51.580 there, you know, boar
01:00:53.340 hunting or whatever, chasing
01:00:54.620 men, but, but they, you
01:00:58.880 know, and then next thing
01:01:00.220 you know, I see this and
01:01:01.660 then this.
01:01:02.160 It's just, you think of
01:01:02.960 sex in frames, in
01:01:05.460 specific moments, more
01:01:07.580 than you think of it as
01:01:08.340 one big buffet.
01:01:11.320 You think of it as, okay,
01:01:12.580 here's a side item, there's
01:01:13.780 a side item, there's a
01:01:14.940 side item, there's a side
01:01:16.220 item.
01:01:17.120 First, the side item, we
01:01:18.340 walk in, you know, into
01:01:19.760 your place.
01:01:20.380 The second side item, we
01:01:22.760 lay down, we, you know,
01:01:23.980 look at each other's
01:01:24.900 booties or whatever.
01:01:26.180 The third side item, we
01:01:27.700 doing, you know, oral
01:01:30.000 copulation or something,
01:01:31.520 you know, playing that,
01:01:33.640 you know, doing a lippy
01:01:34.820 sticky or whatever, and
01:01:36.080 then the third, the last
01:01:37.460 one, doing full sexual.
01:01:40.120 And that, and then you
01:01:40.820 got, and then that's it.
01:01:42.120 And then everybody busts
01:01:43.480 out at the end.
01:01:44.940 And then next thing you
01:01:46.060 know, it's, you know, you
01:01:48.760 know, you chilling, man.
01:01:50.360 That's it.
01:01:51.320 You know, that's it.
01:01:53.280 Aftermath, rendezvous,
01:01:54.500 that's it.
01:01:55.040 M&M.
01:01:56.600 But what you don't
01:01:57.440 realize is, the buffet of
01:02:00.600 sex is a bigger thing.
01:02:03.220 It's more you over here,
01:02:05.340 you looking at this, you
01:02:06.760 touching, you holding
01:02:07.800 hands.
01:02:09.360 You know, you looking, they
01:02:10.840 got dirty silverware, you
01:02:12.200 asking for clean silverware.
01:02:15.000 You seeing the different
01:02:16.040 types of lettuce, you
01:02:17.180 seeing they got black
01:02:18.100 olives, they got red
01:02:19.300 olives.
01:02:19.840 You know, they got some
01:02:21.480 bruised strawberries over
01:02:22.980 here.
01:02:24.020 They got this, they got the
01:02:25.820 legs, feet, butt, cheeks,
01:02:27.820 hair.
01:02:28.700 You seeing everything, it's
01:02:29.660 a fuller picture.
01:02:31.400 And pornography kills that
01:02:32.680 full picture and it just
01:02:33.600 cuts it up into scenes.
01:02:35.400 And so that's my problem
01:02:36.380 that I have sometimes.
01:02:38.340 I've noticed for myself
01:02:39.600 anyway, it's to view,
01:02:41.120 because then you start to
01:02:42.020 view that experience with a
01:02:43.900 woman just in, in, in
01:02:46.960 still images and moments
01:02:48.460 and sex and still images
01:02:50.600 and moments and, okay, I
01:02:51.860 need to see this, I need
01:02:52.780 to see this, I need to see
01:02:53.840 this, and then everybody
01:02:55.060 needs to do full bustle.
01:02:56.980 And that's life.
01:02:58.620 But that's not it.
01:03:00.220 That is a program that
01:03:03.300 runs through us because
01:03:04.560 pornography is dirty.
01:03:06.940 Because that's dark arts.
01:03:09.040 That's dark arts, central
01:03:10.860 pornography.
01:03:13.960 I mean, the devil must,
01:03:15.460 might as well just be
01:03:16.280 damn, you know, might as
01:03:20.060 well just have put his
01:03:21.000 brain right into a damn
01:03:22.200 flat, you know, into a
01:03:23.340 computer and uploaded it
01:03:25.500 right into your life.
01:03:27.300 But here's what I'll say
01:03:28.300 this, is this, that, oh
01:03:31.800 shit, what was I talking
01:03:32.720 about?
01:03:33.420 Oh, ladies, if you're
01:03:34.300 going to send nudes, yeah,
01:03:35.200 you can do it.
01:03:35.800 Now, you could send some
01:03:36.620 pornography to your man.
01:03:38.620 And I think, now I love
01:03:39.940 this idea, the end of
01:03:40.840 the end idea, let's
01:03:41.480 play it again.
01:03:42.300 To get his mind off the
01:03:43.660 pornography, to replace
01:03:44.920 the pornography.
01:03:46.560 And honestly, it doesn't
01:03:47.680 even have to be any new
01:03:48.840 videos.
01:03:50.340 Most guys do just fine
01:03:51.880 with like, you know,
01:03:53.280 you send a video of
01:03:54.180 cutting some watermelon
01:03:56.080 in a bra, maybe some
01:03:57.780 strawberries, you know,
01:03:58.700 that's more than enough
01:04:00.480 for most guys.
01:04:02.300 Now, yeah, I agree, you
01:04:03.960 can do something romantic.
01:04:05.180 You could be, you know,
01:04:06.520 shooting an arrow or
01:04:07.680 something off the roof or
01:04:08.740 something and maybe you're
01:04:09.540 in a skirt or you could
01:04:10.740 do, you know, I do like
01:04:12.760 this idea of reframing what
01:04:14.340 pornography is.
01:04:15.920 Maybe you're wearing a
01:04:17.020 little, you know, a
01:04:18.600 security guard outfit or
01:04:21.140 something with, you know,
01:04:22.720 it's assless or something.
01:04:24.220 They got like an assless
01:04:25.240 security guard outfit and
01:04:26.560 you're running down, you
01:04:27.440 know, chasing a fake
01:04:28.360 criminal or doing, I don't
01:04:30.980 like the knife and the
01:04:31.880 vegetables.
01:04:32.320 I can't get hard to run a
01:04:33.520 knife.
01:04:33.840 So if I see a knife, I'm
01:04:35.740 not getting erect, but
01:04:37.260 that's me.
01:04:37.800 But some guys, you know,
01:04:39.900 maybe if your husband is,
01:04:41.820 you know, he's from New
01:04:42.820 Jersey or he's part of
01:04:43.860 Native American or
01:04:44.860 whatever, he can handle
01:04:45.820 it.
01:04:46.420 I can't handle that.
01:04:48.240 You know, broken glass and
01:04:49.420 knives, no dicky dicky for
01:04:52.280 daddy.
01:04:53.540 But a lot of men can handle
01:04:54.940 that.
01:04:55.480 But I love this idea of
01:04:56.640 reframing.
01:04:57.380 So, because then here's
01:04:59.440 what's going to happen if a
01:05:00.340 lady tells you that, okay,
01:05:01.480 let's, I'm going to send you
01:05:02.560 some pornography.
01:05:03.900 Now, you know that a, she's
01:05:05.240 trying to work with you on
01:05:06.080 this problem that you have.
01:05:07.120 If you have a problem, this
01:05:08.600 only for men that have
01:05:09.340 problem.
01:05:09.880 I'm not saying every men
01:05:11.000 have problem.
01:05:13.900 But, but a good way to
01:05:15.880 reframe it.
01:05:16.460 Yeah.
01:05:17.120 It was if your lady wants
01:05:18.360 to send you something,
01:05:19.920 maybe she's just doing
01:05:20.880 math.
01:05:22.860 You know, maybe she's doing
01:05:23.980 math and she have, you
01:05:27.340 know, a wife beater on
01:05:29.000 with, you know, and they
01:05:30.240 got the breasts open areas.
01:05:31.600 They got rips over their
01:05:32.640 breasts or they got, you
01:05:34.640 know, maybe she's eating
01:05:35.440 soup and she got some, you
01:05:38.940 know, and they should get
01:05:39.640 she got a little buddy over
01:05:40.880 there painting her tail
01:05:41.880 or toenails or something.
01:05:43.580 She got a gay friend at the
01:05:44.700 house painting her toenails
01:05:45.880 and she's having some soup.
01:05:48.700 You know, or if you like a
01:05:49.840 man, if you prefer, you
01:05:51.080 know, a sex man, then what
01:05:53.060 you can have then is maybe
01:05:54.540 your man, you know, he's
01:05:56.580 butt naked and he's chasing
01:05:57.900 a, um, you know, he's
01:06:00.360 taking, you know, he's got a
01:06:01.540 little dachshund or a
01:06:02.540 bichon or something and
01:06:03.980 he's taking that bitch for a
01:06:05.180 walk or something.
01:06:06.700 You know, he's taking that
01:06:07.600 beautiful little lovely
01:06:08.760 creature for a snack or
01:06:10.660 something and he's fully
01:06:11.520 nude or he's wearing like a,
01:06:13.000 um, a cooking apron and one
01:06:15.420 of those neck braces or
01:06:16.540 something.
01:06:17.280 There's definitely new ways to
01:06:18.900 say, hey, this is what
01:06:19.900 pornography is now.
01:06:21.660 Let's make it new and
01:06:22.640 exciting.
01:06:23.260 I like that idea.
01:06:24.040 Thank you for that call.
01:06:25.480 Um, let's take another call
01:06:26.520 that was in response to, um,
01:06:28.180 to Cindy from last week.
01:06:29.340 Onward.
01:06:29.600 Hi, this is Jalen from
01:06:31.860 Virginia.
01:06:33.160 I'm actually calling in to
01:06:34.700 respond to Sydney from
01:06:36.800 Oklahoma who was talking
01:06:38.060 about her boyfriend and how
01:06:40.080 she doesn't like him
01:06:41.140 watching porn.
01:06:42.360 Yep.
01:06:42.920 We got that call.
01:06:43.940 Uh, and thank you for your,
01:06:45.280 uh, call, um, onward.
01:06:47.480 I think a good compromise if
01:06:50.260 the reason for you not liking
01:06:52.700 him watching porn, um, is
01:06:54.580 because you don't like the
01:06:55.740 idea of him lusting after
01:06:58.020 other women, maybe, um,
01:07:01.000 instead of making him stop
01:07:02.780 watching porn, maybe you guys
01:07:04.880 can make porn together.
01:07:06.840 Maybe send him a couple of
01:07:09.280 nude pics or, or, or, or
01:07:11.380 shoot a video or record a
01:07:13.900 video of you two making love.
01:07:16.300 So, when he does
01:07:18.160 masturbate, it's, um, he's doing
01:07:22.140 it to you and, and he's, he's
01:07:24.000 celebrating your body and, and
01:07:26.120 celebrating the love that you two
01:07:28.640 make.
01:07:30.060 That's a nice thought, man.
01:07:31.340 That's beautiful.
01:07:32.320 That's like the Hallmark
01:07:33.660 pornography channel.
01:07:35.820 This guy just sent us in and that
01:07:37.720 makes me feel good.
01:07:39.800 Yeah, do something, make a
01:07:41.640 pornography together.
01:07:43.880 Um, make it a thing you do
01:07:45.380 together somehow.
01:07:48.720 You know, one thing that would be
01:07:49.980 neat about that, if you did that,
01:07:52.200 you know, in a, in a unique way,
01:07:55.760 you're going to take a lot of the
01:07:56.980 power out of that pornography for
01:07:58.820 him.
01:07:59.520 Because one of the things about
01:08:00.800 pornography where it really hurts
01:08:02.440 men is it becomes something we do
01:08:04.140 by ourself.
01:08:05.440 It becomes this kind of like hidden
01:08:07.380 act.
01:08:07.880 People ain't watching pornography
01:08:09.900 out there, you know, during a
01:08:12.500 soccer game.
01:08:14.320 You know, you're not watching
01:08:16.200 pornography at a, uh, at a
01:08:18.700 fiesta, you know, at a Carl's
01:08:20.580 Jr.
01:08:21.560 Actually, you might at a Carl's
01:08:22.900 Jr.
01:08:23.140 I don't know if you've ever been
01:08:23.640 to a Carl's Jr. at night, but
01:08:25.640 some of the lights don't work
01:08:26.760 inside and people are lonely
01:08:28.300 eating big sandwiches.
01:08:29.800 And I've always said that, that
01:08:32.300 Carl's Jr. is really a mecca for
01:08:34.020 lonely men and big sandwiches.
01:08:35.480 But, um, oh, so if you want to do
01:08:42.060 pornography together, that yet
01:08:43.400 you're going to take a lot of that
01:08:44.560 power.
01:08:45.020 If you do something with your man
01:08:46.160 together and make it together,
01:08:47.380 ladies, instead of ostracizing your
01:08:49.600 man, you're going to make it really,
01:08:51.960 really healthy for him.
01:08:52.960 I think you're going to have a
01:08:53.820 chance to make it a new experience
01:08:55.460 for him.
01:08:57.260 And the truth is, man, what we all
01:08:59.140 need in a lot of ways is a new
01:09:00.480 experience with something.
01:09:01.660 Because, man, there's, when you're
01:09:04.420 a man and you've been masturbating
01:09:05.780 for, you know, 13 years, nine
01:09:07.980 years, that's a long, that's a lot
01:09:11.660 of sexual energy that you've just
01:09:14.060 been using by yourself.
01:09:15.820 And you're, you know, you're at
01:09:16.740 home, the wind, you know, you got
01:09:18.400 the windows closed usually, unless
01:09:20.180 you Jamaican or something.
01:09:22.040 I mean, a Jamaican person, they bust
01:09:23.680 out with the damn windows open.
01:09:25.840 They'll fire that right out in the
01:09:27.400 air, a damn seagull will come by and
01:09:29.120 just, you know, that's lunch.
01:09:30.920 And that's the lunch bunch.
01:09:34.420 But most people, they close the
01:09:36.300 blinds.
01:09:37.140 It's a lonely thing you do.
01:09:40.620 It's a lonely thing you do.
01:09:43.440 It's something you do by yourself.
01:09:44.600 It's lonesome.
01:09:45.300 It's lonesome activity.
01:09:47.160 It's not an exciting, I mean, it's
01:09:48.360 fun when you're busting and looking.
01:09:50.600 But outside of that, the side
01:09:52.480 effects of it are, and the practice
01:09:55.440 of it is you do it by yourself.
01:09:58.140 You close, it's secret if you do it
01:09:59.680 by yourself.
01:10:00.040 So then it feels like this, you
01:10:01.380 know.
01:10:02.680 But for a woman to then say, hey,
01:10:04.420 well, let's see, what if we do this
01:10:05.820 together?
01:10:07.420 Ask your man, why do you like this?
01:10:09.440 Make him really think about it.
01:10:11.280 Let him know you're not going to
01:10:12.160 judge him if he answers in an
01:10:14.120 uncomfortable or strange way.
01:10:18.620 And then I think, you know, there
01:10:20.180 could be some progress in that area.
01:10:22.180 And I feel bad that women have to
01:10:23.780 deal with this, you know, and that
01:10:25.420 men probably are starting to have to
01:10:26.680 deal with it too.
01:10:27.160 We don't even realize.
01:10:29.040 And some people might think, Theo,
01:10:30.620 you're crazy talking about pornography
01:10:31.940 this much, man.
01:10:33.140 I'm telling you.
01:10:35.900 I'm telling you.
01:10:37.580 We don't know the long-term side
01:10:39.200 effects that this is having on
01:10:40.300 humanity.
01:10:41.700 But I guarantee you they are not
01:10:44.280 decent.
01:10:45.780 Decent.
01:10:46.220 Let's hear another call.
01:10:49.020 Onward.
01:10:49.920 What's up, Theo?
01:10:51.040 My name is Grady.
01:10:52.960 I'm calling in regards to this
01:10:56.180 woman, Cindy, that called in on the
01:10:57.960 last podcast and was asking questions
01:11:00.880 about her boyfriend and how she can
01:11:02.560 help him.
01:11:04.200 Yep.
01:11:04.680 That's Cindy.
01:11:05.320 All right.
01:11:05.680 Onward.
01:11:06.420 He's struggling with always looking at
01:11:07.940 pornography.
01:11:09.000 He that peaky, peaky guy.
01:11:10.780 And I'm that peaky guy.
01:11:12.360 You know, I'm five days full right
01:11:14.500 now.
01:11:15.520 Bah, bah, beet sheep, have you any
01:11:18.320 wool?
01:11:19.500 Yes, sir.
01:11:20.440 Yes, sir.
01:11:21.480 Five days full.
01:11:23.340 Onward.
01:11:24.260 I just had a book recommendation I
01:11:26.100 really wanted to be able to offer.
01:11:28.200 It's this book I'm reading that's
01:11:29.860 called Unwanted by Jay Stringer.
01:11:33.160 And it's a book about sexual
01:11:34.640 brokenness.
01:11:35.380 He's a Christian, but I bet even
01:11:37.140 people that aren't Christians would
01:11:38.420 get a lot out of this book.
01:11:40.620 Okay.
01:11:41.160 That's Unwanted by Jay Stringer.
01:11:43.500 And we'll put the link to that
01:11:44.820 below.
01:11:45.280 We don't work for that book.
01:11:46.660 I don't, I've never, I have not
01:11:47.840 heard of that book, but I support
01:11:49.760 the fact that this man called in and
01:11:51.280 recommended it to it about sexual
01:11:53.700 brokenness.
01:11:56.980 Yeah.
01:11:57.500 And look, this is a tough thing.
01:11:59.160 And look, that's the thing that's
01:12:00.200 going on now.
01:12:01.760 You know, it's not Vember.
01:12:02.840 And so people are, are trying to stay
01:12:06.060 off that bust.
01:12:08.600 And I'm one of those people.
01:12:11.160 You know, I'm one of those people.
01:12:12.860 Because I want to have those feelings.
01:12:14.260 I want to have that sexual comfort.
01:12:16.160 You know, that, you know.
01:12:18.240 And be that crazy guy.
01:12:20.440 You know, I want to be that Horace
01:12:21.620 Grant.
01:12:23.360 For a lady.
01:12:25.820 You know, I want to be in the paint
01:12:27.020 doing work.
01:12:27.620 I don't want to be always on the
01:12:28.640 outside just BJ Armstrong and in the
01:12:30.820 distance.
01:12:31.300 You feel me?
01:12:32.460 I want to be that HGZ.
01:12:34.460 I want to have the goggles on and be
01:12:36.260 doing work against the boards, baby.
01:12:40.880 And those are some old Chicago Bulls
01:12:42.760 references.
01:12:45.660 What else is going on?
01:12:47.020 What have I been thinking about?
01:12:48.240 Oh, they have this trail of, not a
01:12:51.160 trail, they have a tribe, I guess you
01:12:53.160 would say, maybe of Hondurans
01:12:54.780 allegedly coming towards the U.S.
01:12:57.100 border.
01:12:57.480 I was thinking about this a lot.
01:12:58.620 Because this is, you know, this is
01:12:59.820 like a new thing that, you know, the
01:13:02.420 media really blasts out and uses as
01:13:05.540 like a scare tactic and a thing, you
01:13:08.580 know.
01:13:08.840 But it's also a real thing that there
01:13:10.320 are real people who are experiencing
01:13:13.320 some sort of trauma or something in
01:13:15.120 their country and they have left their
01:13:17.400 country and are, you know, caravanning
01:13:19.840 towards the U.S.
01:13:20.900 And it makes me think a lot about, you
01:13:25.920 know, a lot about, I don't know if it's
01:13:30.320 illegal aliens or, you know, you know,
01:13:33.620 immigrants, people coming to the U.S.
01:13:36.200 You know, when I checked out, my father
01:13:37.740 came here legally from Nicaragua in
01:13:40.660 1922, I believe.
01:13:42.540 Um, people have come legally and
01:13:46.520 illegally over the years.
01:13:48.000 We know that.
01:13:49.500 I, I love the idea of having a very
01:13:52.340 legal system for people to get into
01:13:54.760 the country.
01:13:56.560 Um, I love this.
01:13:58.300 I thought about this could be a neat
01:13:59.700 idea that, look, I'm all about
01:14:02.900 strengthening up the borders, making,
01:14:04.620 so you know who's coming in.
01:14:06.680 It's just not safe to not know who is
01:14:09.320 around.
01:14:11.340 You know, it's like a roll call.
01:14:12.860 I wish every year we did a roll call
01:14:14.940 where we just, where everybody had to
01:14:17.480 go next door, their, their exact next
01:14:19.780 neighbor and find out who in the fuck
01:14:22.060 they were and do a book report on
01:14:24.860 their neighbor.
01:14:27.440 Because we don't know who it, you
01:14:29.380 can't keep, you can't run a good
01:14:32.180 company if you don't know the
01:14:35.520 inventory.
01:14:36.320 You can't do it.
01:14:37.120 And here's what I thought though.
01:14:39.840 I thought this is a lot of the issues
01:14:41.500 are, are we mistreating people?
01:14:43.500 Are people being mistreated?
01:14:45.340 You know, there's so many great people
01:14:47.220 in America, in the world.
01:14:50.700 I was thinking we should, the part of
01:14:52.680 the program for having elite people who
01:14:56.460 are not already legal citizens of the
01:14:59.300 U.S.
01:15:00.340 Part of the program could be that there
01:15:04.400 is a, you can sign up to help someone.
01:15:08.520 You can sign up to foster a family, to,
01:15:12.140 okay, I can help two Honduran people can
01:15:14.840 stay at my place for this much time.
01:15:18.220 You know, they can stay here for this
01:15:21.400 much time.
01:15:22.980 I can help for this, you know, they can
01:15:25.780 stay and work with me doing, I feel like
01:15:28.560 there would be a really great program of
01:15:31.800 people that want to help and then people
01:15:34.260 that need help because that's really what
01:15:37.040 you're dealing with.
01:15:38.780 But I think that then you would have an
01:15:40.920 exact account of what's going on.
01:15:42.520 You'd have somebody to help somebody get
01:15:43.660 acclimated into what it's like to be in
01:15:45.560 America or what it's like to live in a
01:15:48.060 new place.
01:15:49.880 And then you solve a lot of that problem.
01:15:53.100 Then you, because otherwise we don't know
01:15:55.540 what it's like for people living right on
01:15:56.940 the border, you know, and suddenly people
01:15:59.760 are in their yards and running and they're
01:16:02.020 starving and scared or thirsty.
01:16:03.980 We, we don't know what that's like if
01:16:05.820 we're not right there, you know, I just
01:16:08.820 feel like we could have a smarter program
01:16:10.760 overall to help people come in.
01:16:16.220 What do I know though?
01:16:17.400 You know, what am I know?
01:16:18.420 I'm just thinking out loud.
01:16:20.560 All right, let's get to another call.
01:16:22.000 Call 985-664-9503.
01:16:25.080 Hey, Theo, this is your boy Chad in Iowa.
01:16:28.360 Hey, Chad in Iowa.
01:16:30.140 And you know, I love Iowa.
01:16:32.720 You know, my heart has been, I've been
01:16:34.340 getting these ideas in my brain and in my
01:16:36.120 heart over the past couple months to do
01:16:38.260 a comedy tour.
01:16:43.100 Like a rural, just middle of nowhere
01:16:45.140 comedy tour.
01:16:45.840 Not middle of nowhere because nowhere is
01:16:48.700 someone's everywhere.
01:16:50.140 You know, nowhere is, is, you know, my
01:16:55.600 nowhere might be, you know, might be
01:16:59.080 your somewhere, you know, your
01:17:02.500 everything.
01:17:03.900 But, but I'm trying to think about how,
01:17:08.420 you know, doing a rural comedy tour.
01:17:11.360 And I mean, just getting out there, boy,
01:17:13.520 someplace you could fucking smell the
01:17:15.180 bacon, you know, some people, some, a
01:17:18.760 place where if you see it, you see
01:17:20.000 somebody eating a couple of, um, you
01:17:23.200 know, you can see somebody having that
01:17:24.400 nightingale egg omelet, you don't look at
01:17:26.780 them sideways.
01:17:29.040 Let's take more.
01:17:29.920 Onward.
01:17:30.540 Not too many of us.
01:17:31.400 Uh, I was just listening to the responses to
01:17:34.500 your pee problem.
01:17:36.420 Yeah.
01:17:36.740 You're, uh, uh, uh, you know, shrinking
01:17:39.840 violet there.
01:17:41.340 Oh yeah.
01:17:41.540 And he's talking about when I was having
01:17:42.840 urinary troubles in Phoenix, when I was at
01:17:45.360 the urinate, um, the urinary, urinal and
01:17:49.500 couldn't get that, couldn't get that faucet to
01:17:54.520 pop.
01:17:54.920 Let's go.
01:17:56.280 Uh, the first, I was glad to hear somebody
01:17:59.460 call with the mathematical thing.
01:18:01.260 That is absolutely true.
01:18:02.480 The part of your brain that controls math
01:18:05.640 also, for some reason, controls your pee,
01:18:09.340 your, your retra or whatever.
01:18:10.880 I don't get it.
01:18:11.620 It's biology, but that is absolutely true.
01:18:14.440 Dude, you don't even have to go through the
01:18:15.720 tables.
01:18:16.140 Just go, what's 67 times three.
01:18:18.400 And even the idea of thinking of that,
01:18:20.880 you're going to be pissing before you know
01:18:23.020 it.
01:18:23.760 Just make up some number.
01:18:25.720 What's 273 plus nine?
01:18:28.720 Yeah, you're pissing.
01:18:30.480 And there you go.
01:18:31.380 And he's saying a caller had called in and
01:18:32.960 suggested to me that I do math when I'm at
01:18:34.820 the urinal.
01:18:35.420 And apparently that's a real thing then,
01:18:37.220 that if you just start doing math, this
01:18:39.660 gentleman from Iowa is saying that, uh, that
01:18:43.820 if you do math, that part of your brain that
01:18:45.520 does math also, you know, is the year, is
01:18:49.340 the, is the, runs the urinary, the
01:18:51.980 ureth, the urethra.
01:18:54.140 So there you go.
01:18:56.860 You know what I'm saying?
01:18:57.620 If you divide it, they will piss is what
01:19:01.000 I'm saying.
01:19:01.540 And that's full Iowa.
01:19:02.480 I'm talking Dyersville, baby.
01:19:04.340 I'm talking, um, Dyersville.
01:19:07.220 All right.
01:19:07.900 Uh, but so there you go.
01:19:09.100 Try the math.
01:19:09.740 If you are having trouble at the year, at
01:19:11.480 the, at the urinal, you know, other guys
01:19:13.820 around you are grunting and pissing and
01:19:15.740 doing all kinds of stuff, juggling, they're
01:19:18.880 doing it right.
01:19:19.580 They're making fire and you're really
01:19:21.000 standing there just struggling to get
01:19:23.180 your match to flair.
01:19:25.780 Do math.
01:19:27.400 All right.
01:19:27.840 Let's take another call that came in.
01:19:29.240 Onward.
01:19:30.160 Hey, Theo.
01:19:30.880 This is Josh from Sacramento, California.
01:19:33.720 Josh from Sacramento, baby.
01:19:35.560 Sac town.
01:19:36.640 That's the Diaz brothers country, son.
01:19:38.480 I think, oh, that's Stockton.
01:19:40.360 Sacramento, though.
01:19:42.160 We're a home of missing.
01:19:43.180 Dude, everybody in Sacramento looks like a
01:19:44.720 missing person, bruh.
01:19:46.100 Beautiful place, man.
01:19:47.240 Also, who that?
01:19:48.300 Shout out to my Saints.
01:19:49.180 I forgot about that.
01:19:50.820 Yeah, man.
01:19:51.120 I love the New Orleans Saints.
01:19:54.540 Onward.
01:19:55.080 I just want to say thanks.
01:19:56.440 I love the podcast.
01:19:58.220 I think every week you always bring
01:20:00.560 something new, something fresh, something
01:20:02.820 funny for all us gang gang members out
01:20:05.560 here.
01:20:05.920 Gang gang, papa.
01:20:08.200 I just finished listening to the episode
01:20:10.580 in November.
01:20:11.620 Wanted to say I think it's awesome that
01:20:13.360 you create a space for all us
01:20:15.580 dudes who have struggled with, you
01:20:17.940 know, blowing loads into our hands
01:20:21.680 and stuff.
01:20:22.960 Ooh, he said it right out like that, man.
01:20:26.320 He said it making that little, you know,
01:20:28.640 that sweet cream like Big Richard used
01:20:30.980 to say he was making back there.
01:20:32.820 And he was a guy who was a convicted
01:20:34.660 pedophile in my area when I was growing
01:20:36.520 up, Big Richard.
01:20:38.140 Homer?
01:20:38.680 On the frequent, I think it's great that
01:20:40.900 you create a space for us so we can
01:20:42.580 help kind of overcome those things
01:20:44.240 together.
01:20:45.220 I'm a recovering nut blower, I guess
01:20:50.360 you could say.
01:20:51.300 Oh, yeah.
01:20:52.360 You out there fucking blasting pecans,
01:20:55.500 huh, daddy?
01:20:58.040 Not in the oral sexual way, but in the
01:21:00.840 masturbation.
01:21:02.260 It's okay, man.
01:21:03.220 Look, hey, bud, if you want to suck a
01:21:04.500 guy off, you can do it.
01:21:06.540 You know, it's 2018, man.
01:21:08.120 You can almost, I mean, dude, legally,
01:21:12.040 they just made it legal.
01:21:13.240 You can date a second cousin, first
01:21:16.240 cousin, there's genetic crossover.
01:21:20.500 You know, you're going to be double
01:21:21.520 dribbling, you know what I'm saying?
01:21:22.920 You're going to, you know what I'm
01:21:24.740 saying, you're going to have a, you're
01:21:26.640 going to have a baby that can do the
01:21:27.800 three-legged race by himself.
01:21:29.780 But if you want to date a second cousin,
01:21:32.100 man, or polish him off with the insides
01:21:33.760 of your face, you can do it.
01:21:35.260 Let's hear more.
01:21:35.880 Sense of the term, and just want to
01:21:39.000 say there's hope out there, guys.
01:21:40.420 You just got to stick to it.
01:21:41.800 The best thing that helped me get
01:21:43.320 over that was competition.
01:21:45.920 I saw a documentary where a fighter
01:21:47.920 wouldn't masturbate before his
01:21:49.260 fights, and he would always win.
01:21:52.560 There you go.
01:21:53.880 So if you're out there, if you're not
01:21:55.320 winning right now, and you're just out
01:21:56.980 there blowing yourself out every night,
01:21:59.620 come on.
01:22:01.540 Man, there's just, there's more to be
01:22:05.500 done.
01:22:06.120 There's more to be done.
01:22:08.080 But thank you for that call.
01:22:11.180 All right, let's take one more call
01:22:13.540 here, man.
01:22:17.160 Onward.
01:22:17.920 Hey, Theo.
01:22:18.600 So to start this off, I'm not sure if
01:22:20.200 this is a great question for you
01:22:21.920 personally, and I don't mean that in a
01:22:23.300 bad way.
01:22:24.640 Look, I don't take that in a bad way
01:22:26.260 at all, man.
01:22:26.640 I'm just happy that you called.
01:22:27.800 Thank you.
01:22:28.500 I'm just not sure if you have a lot
01:22:30.060 of experience with this.
01:22:31.260 So it might be more of a topic or
01:22:33.780 question for your listeners.
01:22:35.860 So I'm 18.
01:22:37.340 I've been dating this girl for the
01:22:38.700 past six years.
01:22:40.260 Okay.
01:22:40.580 So you started dating when you were
01:22:41.740 12, onward.
01:22:43.500 We've been together since seventh
01:22:44.740 grade.
01:22:45.840 You know, recently she went off to
01:22:48.220 college, and things have been kind of
01:22:50.400 weird since then.
01:22:51.200 And I think she's getting to the
01:22:53.080 point now where she wants to break
01:22:55.060 up.
01:22:55.640 And, you know, I just kind of wanted
01:22:56.480 your advice on that.
01:22:58.280 I mean, she's helped me through
01:23:00.480 addiction.
01:23:01.260 She's helped me through my parents'
01:23:03.740 divorce, depression.
01:23:06.600 You name it, she's been there.
01:23:08.520 And, you know, like I said, I think
01:23:10.840 she wants to break up now.
01:23:12.760 And I was really hoping that, you
01:23:15.380 know, Thanksgiving break is coming
01:23:16.400 up, and I was hoping that she would
01:23:18.300 want to spend that time together and
01:23:20.160 try to work things out more.
01:23:21.920 I'm not sure if that's going to
01:23:22.780 happen.
01:23:23.960 So, you know, man, I just love her,
01:23:26.660 and I'm really scared of what's going
01:23:28.520 to happen, I guess.
01:23:30.080 So my questions are, how do people
01:23:32.380 deal with a long-distance
01:23:34.300 relationship?
01:23:35.420 And then, also, if it does come down
01:23:37.760 to breaking up, how do people deal
01:23:40.900 with such a big breakup?
01:23:43.460 Because, you know, for me, it's almost
01:23:45.160 a third of my life that we've been
01:23:46.200 together.
01:23:46.500 She's just always been there.
01:23:48.760 She means absolutely everything to
01:23:50.520 me.
01:23:53.660 See, I don't know, man.
01:23:55.040 I'm sorry if this is a little
01:23:56.380 confusing.
01:23:58.060 It's kind of hard to keep a thought.
01:24:01.620 But, yeah, any advice that you can
01:24:03.400 give that'd be awesome?
01:24:04.640 Same with your listeners.
01:24:05.300 Excuse me there.
01:24:10.920 Thank you for the call, man.
01:24:12.120 No, I think this was, you know, this
01:24:14.920 is exactly what I wanted to, you know,
01:24:17.120 I'm glad you called.
01:24:18.620 Yeah, because I don't want you having
01:24:19.600 to just think about this stuff by
01:24:20.960 yourself and get too swarmed up.
01:24:23.380 Man, I can relate to this.
01:24:25.760 You know, I had an experience when I
01:24:27.160 was in, right when I got out of,
01:24:31.040 when I got into, you know, right around
01:24:34.040 that high school, college time.
01:24:37.100 I was dating a girl, and it was long
01:24:39.840 distance, and she, you know, she was
01:24:43.280 ready to really kind of explore the
01:24:46.720 world in a lot of ways and meet new
01:24:49.740 people.
01:24:50.660 And, you know, sometimes as young men,
01:24:52.920 we put a lot of that on, like, you
01:24:55.140 know, for me anyway, I just, all I could
01:24:57.520 think about was her having, hooking up
01:24:58.760 with other guys, her hooking up with
01:25:00.140 other guys.
01:25:02.540 But really, the truth was, she just
01:25:03.920 needed to kind of be free, you know,
01:25:07.220 and, and I was heartbroken, man.
01:25:10.480 I was just heartbroken.
01:25:12.160 I mean, I remember I laid in a street
01:25:13.620 in my neighborhood.
01:25:14.500 Man, it wasn't even my neighborhood.
01:25:16.140 I just laid in the street somewhere,
01:25:18.800 and I was smoking menthol cigarettes,
01:25:23.040 you know, because they had a lot of
01:25:24.640 brothers around me blowing out all the
01:25:26.780 time.
01:25:27.100 And I was, you know, doing menthols,
01:25:29.200 and I wanted to just, you know, and
01:25:31.340 they were a lot of, at the time, a lot
01:25:32.760 of black men were struggling in
01:25:34.080 America.
01:25:34.700 So I just wanted to just emulate any
01:25:37.200 struggle, you know.
01:25:38.660 I just wanted to just, you know, every
01:25:40.880 hit I took off of that menthol cigarette,
01:25:43.220 I just, that was my amistad, you know.
01:25:45.140 I just wanted to just, I don't know, I
01:25:48.260 wanted to burn my insides up because
01:25:50.400 she wanted to move on, and I wanted to
01:25:52.920 kind of stay.
01:25:54.240 I wanted to stay where everything was.
01:25:55.800 And the truth was, I mean, yeah, I was
01:25:57.880 in, I was really in love with her at
01:25:59.400 the time, but also I was just afraid of
01:26:00.900 change.
01:26:02.080 You know, I was so scared of change.
01:26:07.820 But it sounds like, man, you know, this
01:26:09.180 is somebody you've really cared about, and
01:26:11.060 you said that she was there for some
01:26:12.280 really important times in your life.
01:26:16.580 And sometimes, you know, someone's in
01:26:18.720 our life for a certain amount of time
01:26:20.080 for, just for really important things.
01:26:22.260 You know, and it's kind of great that
01:26:24.760 you've had her for these moments.
01:26:26.680 You know, she sounds like a neat person.
01:26:28.360 I don't even know her, but I can just
01:26:29.540 feel it.
01:26:30.720 You know, in the bass, in the baritones,
01:26:33.180 in the back, you know, in the back strap
01:26:35.280 of your vocals, I can hear it.
01:26:37.340 In the rear instruments, you know.
01:26:40.080 I can hear that she's probably a decent
01:26:41.720 person.
01:26:42.940 And here's the thing, man.
01:26:44.580 You're going to have other chances with
01:26:46.120 her.
01:26:46.340 It's going to be hard, though.
01:26:48.780 It's going to be hard.
01:26:50.320 You have to stay busy.
01:26:53.420 Your mind is going to be your worst
01:26:55.040 enemy if you really start to miss her.
01:26:58.260 You know, when you're not less than,
01:26:59.780 because she wants, she's just at a
01:27:01.260 moment in her life where that's going
01:27:02.440 to happen.
01:27:04.380 You know, there's a setting free of
01:27:06.700 the, you know, there's this freedom
01:27:08.140 that comes when someone goes off to
01:27:09.560 college, and that mindset, and
01:27:11.260 you have to find yourself now.
01:27:16.140 You have to find out who you are.
01:27:19.500 You know, somewhat separate from her.
01:27:22.480 And it's going to take effort, man.
01:27:24.340 I hate to tell you that, because I know
01:27:25.580 it's probably going to be hard sometimes
01:27:26.940 to, you know, stay motivated or stay
01:27:29.020 moving if you get those thoughts in
01:27:30.680 your head that she doesn't care, she's
01:27:33.120 not thinking about you, or she's dating
01:27:35.640 or doing other things.
01:27:37.680 But you can do it.
01:27:39.640 You know, you can make better choices
01:27:40.980 than just laying in the street and
01:27:42.180 smoking cigarettes.
01:27:43.940 You know, if I could go back in time,
01:27:45.200 I'd have spent more time with my
01:27:46.140 friends.
01:27:47.220 I would have used that time to try and
01:27:48.580 be brave and even just go on dates.
01:27:53.700 But there's a great chance, it's hard
01:27:55.600 to see this when you're young, and I'm
01:27:56.800 not preaching at you, but it's hard to
01:27:58.640 see how many more opportunities you may
01:28:00.480 have to date or to be in love or to
01:28:03.960 have an experience with someone that
01:28:05.720 you met when you were younger.
01:28:07.520 Yeah, but it sounds like, man, you
01:28:11.740 guys have something really special.
01:28:13.060 Six years, you've only been alive for
01:28:14.460 18, and for six years you guys have
01:28:16.600 had each other in your lives.
01:28:17.900 That's a long time.
01:28:20.360 You know, and maybe something that can
01:28:21.620 help is to, like, kind of pray for her.
01:28:23.660 And I'm not saying that, you know, like
01:28:25.540 in a Christian way, but just, you know,
01:28:28.500 to think about her and wish the best for
01:28:30.360 her.
01:28:30.660 You know, my father used to pray for his
01:28:35.440 enemies all the time.
01:28:37.680 And eventually, even though they never
01:28:40.000 knew it, he cared about them because
01:28:42.240 there's something inside of us where if
01:28:44.540 we kind of wish for something or hope
01:28:46.560 for something enough or pray for
01:28:48.100 something enough to do well, then we
01:28:51.120 start to want to, we kind of support it
01:28:52.960 instead of dislike it, you know.
01:28:55.080 So, just praying for her to be happy.
01:29:00.140 And, you know, and eventually her being
01:29:02.080 happy could bring her back your way.
01:29:04.100 Well, you have another opportunity.
01:29:06.420 And look, man, I'll tell you this.
01:29:07.720 I was in love with a girl, and she came
01:29:10.440 back around years later.
01:29:13.020 And, dude, I'm glad we didn't end up
01:29:17.480 together.
01:29:17.900 She's a great girl, but years later she
01:29:20.400 wasn't the same.
01:29:21.900 You know, the girl you love right now,
01:29:23.460 10 years from now, she could be doing
01:29:25.000 gambling, you know, she could be
01:29:27.620 stealing, she could be real, real
01:29:30.760 chatty.
01:29:33.360 You don't want to be a lifelong
01:29:34.680 listener, brother.
01:29:36.680 You end up with a real chatty Cathy,
01:29:39.060 and they have a couple, you know, some
01:29:41.080 cinnamon certs, or they have some
01:29:42.680 Skittles or something.
01:29:43.900 It's hard to listen to all of it.
01:29:47.100 So, you don't want, you know, you don't
01:29:49.480 know who she is really yet.
01:29:51.800 And this is a chance for you.
01:29:53.180 It's going to be, this is going to be a
01:29:54.300 really good chance for you.
01:29:58.140 So, I would just, I would think and try
01:29:59.940 and wish the best for her, even when
01:30:01.260 there's moments you don't want to.
01:30:03.280 You know, man, I want her to do well.
01:30:04.920 I want her to be happy.
01:30:06.260 I want her to have new experiences and
01:30:08.000 learn and, and find, have some joy in
01:30:11.560 her life.
01:30:13.640 You know, and I think that can help you.
01:30:15.620 You do that for a couple weeks, man, it
01:30:16.840 could help you get through some of that
01:30:18.080 because then you're going to be more
01:30:19.160 supporting.
01:30:19.720 Part of you is going to want to support
01:30:21.840 her
01:30:22.200 instead of
01:30:24.860 not want to.
01:30:26.940 Because we have this thing inside of us.
01:30:28.280 If we cheer for something,
01:30:29.780 even if we hate it, eventually
01:30:31.200 we'll start to kind of actually want it
01:30:33.880 to do well.
01:30:36.460 And then that's such a much better place
01:30:38.460 to be for us because now instead of
01:30:40.320 the feelings of hating something or
01:30:42.080 disliking an experience,
01:30:44.020 now we're like,
01:30:45.060 we're cheering it on.
01:30:46.500 Um, but also those are just my
01:30:50.580 thoughts, man, and what do I know?
01:30:52.740 You know, I'm just a struggling man in
01:30:54.740 his 30s that's, you know, only got five
01:30:57.480 days off of his own ball bag.
01:30:59.540 So, who knows?
01:31:01.800 But I do know that I'm grateful to be
01:31:03.480 back here from Utah today and I'm happy
01:31:06.000 to be here with you guys and to be part
01:31:08.040 of this past weekend and have this
01:31:09.600 experience.
01:31:11.340 And, uh, and that's it, man.
01:31:14.540 You know, we can get out of here.
01:31:16.140 We can go off in our week.
01:31:18.160 The holidays are coming up.
01:31:20.000 It's going to come so fast.
01:31:21.540 Guys, it's two weeks until
01:31:22.940 Thanksgiving's or something like that
01:31:25.280 or two and two days or something.
01:31:27.440 Start it now.
01:31:29.340 Don't wait.
01:31:30.420 Wish happy holidays right fucking
01:31:32.580 now, boy.
01:31:34.380 I'll start wishing people that shit
01:31:35.820 right after Mardi Gras.
01:31:37.860 Dude, I'll be at a funeral right after
01:31:39.500 Mardi Gras.
01:31:39.820 I'll be at a funeral in June and be
01:31:41.460 like, happy holidays, you know?
01:31:43.360 I'll be hanging mistletoe up outside
01:31:47.140 of at a damn wake.
01:31:49.480 You know, that's where I'm at.
01:31:52.560 So, it's a great time.
01:31:53.860 Don't let anybody make you feel bad
01:31:55.200 for being in the season, for having
01:31:56.660 that feeling.
01:31:58.820 Don't let anybody, you know, look at
01:32:00.380 you being joyous
01:32:02.040 and make you feel ashamed of any of
01:32:05.700 your joy.
01:32:06.240 Keep your chestnuts off the open fire.
01:32:12.020 Some of you guys, I don't know how
01:32:13.140 many people have been busting out
01:32:14.560 down there, but hold the line, you
01:32:16.280 know, you can do it.
01:32:18.080 And be good to yourselves, man.
01:32:20.660 Because you probably deserve it.
01:32:21.840 And I'm going to try to be good to
01:32:22.660 myself, you know?
01:32:25.740 We can do it.
01:32:26.620 We can do it.
01:32:31.140 Let's head out with this song,
01:32:33.760 actually.
01:32:34.160 I just thought of this one.
01:32:35.340 I love this song.
01:32:37.940 And this is...
01:32:41.740 Let's head out with this song.
01:32:51.940 Here we go.
01:32:57.680 We got this.
01:33:00.420 Come on.
01:33:01.560 Come on.
01:33:04.160 I ain't seen home in about a hundred
01:33:08.100 days.
01:33:08.780 I can almost hear mama pray for my
01:33:12.280 restless soul.
01:33:13.860 Take care of yourselves.
01:33:15.780 And I ain't made a dollar I ain't
01:33:18.260 spent, but where it's going ain't
01:33:20.340 killed me yet.
01:33:21.880 I still get where I'm bound to go.
01:33:24.980 Hug somebody, baby.
01:33:26.020 Hit somebody with that hand full of
01:33:47.100 cinnamon.
01:33:47.760 You feel me?
01:33:48.260 You want to be in love with somebody?
01:33:54.920 Let somebody eat cinnamon out of the
01:33:56.120 palm of your hand.
01:33:57.880 You want to talk about pornography?
01:33:59.460 That's what I'm talking about.
01:34:00.420 Hit them with that old cinnamon
01:34:01.380 Wilson.
01:34:01.980 You feel me?
01:34:02.600 Come on.
01:34:03.000 I don't know why.
01:34:05.140 You want to do the new pornography?
01:34:07.800 Reshape it.
01:34:09.000 Put it into your relationship,
01:34:10.520 into your marriage,
01:34:11.400 however you want.
01:34:12.380 Change the game.
01:34:15.500 These are old templates we're running
01:34:17.120 on.
01:34:18.100 This is somebody else invented this
01:34:19.680 bullshit and we're letting it live in
01:34:21.220 ours, in our heads, in our hearts,
01:34:23.360 in our lives.
01:34:24.740 Come on, man.
01:34:26.400 Get that cinnamon Wilson, man.
01:34:28.240 Old school.
01:34:29.600 You want to show a lady a good time,
01:34:31.200 put a little bit of cinnamon, you know,
01:34:32.740 in this hand, you know.
01:34:34.160 Be that front open palm.
01:34:35.460 She knows what's coming at her right
01:34:37.000 there.
01:34:37.840 Little handful of cinnamon.
01:34:39.940 You let a baby gal lick some cinnamon
01:34:42.720 off your fucking palms, boy.
01:34:44.540 Come on.
01:34:45.900 Then you hit her with that hidden fistful
01:34:47.640 of coriander on the other side.
01:34:50.440 And now, suddenly things is getting sweet.
01:34:54.920 And it helps where I'm headed then.
01:35:00.320 I'm making good tonight.
01:35:09.000 This is Makin' It by Bishop Gunn.
01:35:19.540 You know what?
01:35:25.620 We'll stay with it.
01:35:27.220 He's going to switch out.
01:35:28.140 If this bottle was an hourglass,
01:35:32.120 I'd say that I'm about an hour past the minute.
01:35:36.560 I should have put it down.
01:35:42.680 But I'm makin' it.
01:35:44.880 Actually, you know what?
01:35:46.220 I'm makin' wrongs feel right.
01:35:51.600 I'm makin' it.
01:35:53.080 We'll stay.
01:35:53.700 And if hell the way I'm headed then,
01:35:56.280 I'm makin' good time.
01:36:03.540 We stuck with it, and look, it's pickin' up.
01:36:05.900 You see?
01:36:06.680 We stuck with it.
01:36:08.260 And things are pickin' up.
01:36:10.880 The luz that I've crossed.
01:36:19.820 It sits out.
01:36:23.700 Yeah.
01:36:24.060 Yeah.
01:36:24.440 Yeah.
01:36:25.440 Yeah.
01:36:26.420 Yeah.
01:36:27.360 Yeah.
01:36:27.540 Between the lines that I've crossed.
01:36:40.360 And the friends that I've lost
01:36:43.400 I'm left here alone in my skin
01:36:47.840 Alone in my skin
01:36:49.520 But I'm in pretty good shape
01:36:54.420 For the shape that I mean
01:36:57.320 That's it
01:36:58.580 I'm making it
01:37:00.740 I'm making it
01:37:03.860 I'm making it wrong
01:37:06.600 Feel right
01:37:09.120 And I'm making it
01:37:12.360 I'm making it
01:37:16.000 I'm making it
01:37:17.760 I'm making it
01:37:18.180 I'm making it
01:37:20.300 I'm making it
01:37:24.400 I'm making it
01:37:27.180 I'm making it long
01:37:29.900 Feel right
01:37:32.680 I'm making it
01:37:35.940 And it feels well
01:37:37.700 I'm making good times
01:37:42.280 Making good times, man.
01:37:57.840 I ain't seen home in about a hundred days
01:38:02.540 I can almost hear mama pray
01:38:05.460 For my restless soul
01:38:08.580 That is Making It by Bishop Gunn.
01:38:20.840 Man, I've been riding their music for a long time now.
01:38:23.980 But it helped me get through a lot of this year in certain moments,
01:38:26.220 and this is one of them.
01:38:28.060 You know, making wrongs feel right.
01:38:31.320 You know, we're figuring it out.
01:38:33.100 You guys be good to yourselves.
01:38:34.300 You probably deserve it.
01:38:35.900 I'll see you next, next time.
01:38:39.920 Thank you.
01:38:40.380 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club,
01:38:45.160 a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events,
01:38:48.840 stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
01:38:52.560 The answer may shock you.
01:38:54.300 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
01:38:56.360 Sometimes I won't.
01:38:57.940 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
01:39:00.720 You have three new voice messages.
01:39:03.600 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
01:39:06.620 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long, longer than anybody else.
01:39:11.040 So great.
01:39:11.840 Hey, sweetheart.
01:39:14.220 Here's the deal.
01:39:15.500 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
01:39:19.460 Do you know what I mean?
01:39:20.780 Hi.
01:39:21.620 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
01:39:24.520 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
01:39:26.640 Oh, no.
01:39:28.160 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
01:39:31.180 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:39:35.520 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:39:39.740 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts,
01:39:43.380 or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:39:45.500 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.