This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Dane Cook ｜ This Past Weekend #178

00:00:00.340 Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza. Gray Block Pizza at 1811 Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles on the way to the beach. Gray Block. Get that hitter.

00:00:13.940 I want to let you guys know that I will be in Boston next week, or actually Medford, on Thursday night at the Chevalier Theater.

00:00:22.500 And that's a place where you can see live comedy, like myself. You can get those tickets at theovon.com slash tour, T-O-U-R.

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00:02:03.960 Look, it's no lie.

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00:03:45.280 Today's episode is with a gentleman, male comedian, who has certainly been through it all.

00:03:56.880 He has a new tour that's actually going to be in St. Louis this Friday night tomorrow.

00:04:03.080 You can get tickets to see him.

00:04:05.620 And I'm happy he's here in studio today.

00:04:08.820 It is Mr. Dane Cook.

00:04:15.280 I'm on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

00:04:19.180 I must be cornerstone.

00:04:24.420 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

00:04:29.920 I can feel it in my bones.

00:04:34.140 But it's going to take a little time for me to set that parking brake

00:04:42.820 And let myself on my eyes

00:04:45.720 Shine that light on me

00:04:49.560 I'll sit and tell you my story

00:04:54.840 What was, was Daneac, what was like a name that fans,

00:04:58.240 because fans pick up like kind of names sometimes.

00:05:00.540 Yeah.

00:05:01.460 And I feel like...

00:05:02.820 Oh, like what they call themselves?

00:05:04.640 I feel like it never kind of turns out well.

00:05:07.100 Yeah, I had Daneacs actually.

00:05:10.880 They tried to do that and I killed that.

00:05:13.020 I was like, yeah, no, no, no, no.

00:05:14.480 And then the Dane train.

00:05:16.660 Yeah.

00:05:17.180 Is what I coined one day.

00:05:19.140 And I was like, okay, that sounds kind of cool.

00:05:20.940 Yeah, get on the Dane train, get off the Dane train. 0.96

00:05:23.180 It's not like a fucking Doobie Brothers song or something like that. 0.79

00:05:25.500 I was, that was, and I'm glad that caught for a little bit. 0.93

00:05:28.140 And a train, it gives the fans something to get off of.

00:05:30.500 Like, are your supporters something to get, you know.

00:05:33.020 Right, right.

00:05:33.760 We're going to bring it into the station.

00:05:35.000 Yeah.

00:05:35.420 You go home, you have yourself a nice meal.

00:05:36.820 Yeah.

00:05:37.300 And then get back on the Dane train and we'll head to the next destination.

00:05:39.880 Yeah, and at least it's open to like, if people are like, hey, you know, I've been on here

00:05:42.960 for a couple of years, I'm ready to step off.

00:05:44.920 And then, you know, I'm ready to get on, you know, it like gives the opportunity.

00:05:49.600 Because otherwise, yeah, what if somebody gets a tattoo that they're a Daneiac and then

00:05:53.060 six years later, they're like, eh.

00:05:55.740 People have gotten tattoos.

00:05:57.220 I mean, I've seen people with my face on their inner thigh.

00:06:01.020 Wow.

00:06:01.200 Which is like such a weird, if I was going to get your face anywhere in my body, I don't know

00:06:04.520 if I'd go thigh.

00:06:05.560 Yeah.

00:06:05.840 You know, maybe you just go back and you kind of make it like a, you know, just a presentation

00:06:10.040 if you're, you know, down by the local pool.

00:06:12.460 But yeah.

00:06:12.800 It's like a little bit of the past then.

00:06:14.000 Or then it's like, yeah, something in the front, the thigh.

00:06:17.380 Right in here.

00:06:18.260 A man or woman? 0.94

00:06:19.320 It was a man.

00:06:20.240 It was a dude.

00:06:20.920 Yeah.

00:06:21.280 Yeah.

00:06:21.760 It was a guy.

00:06:22.480 He actually had a lot of comedians on his body.

00:06:25.020 It was like a tribute to all things comedy.

00:06:28.180 Oh, that's pretty cool.

00:06:28.820 Yeah, man.

00:06:29.200 It was awesome.

00:06:29.860 Wow.

00:06:30.380 What do your fans call you or call themselves?

00:06:33.140 Do they, are they trying to come up with like a...

00:06:35.580 Do we have anything, Nick?

00:06:36.640 I got one.

00:06:37.300 Okay.

00:06:37.740 What about this?

00:06:38.360 Ready?

00:06:39.200 The crispy Von Tons.

00:06:41.240 Okay.

00:06:41.640 Hey, what's up?

00:06:44.660 All the crispy Von Tons out there. 0.82

00:06:48.200 Especially your Chinese fans would really, really play into that.

00:06:51.660 That's actually pretty good.

00:06:52.820 We only have, I think, one Chinese fan.

00:06:55.200 All right.

00:06:56.100 Well, you know what?

00:06:56.680 You're the crispy Von Tons.

00:06:58.440 Yeah, you're the start.

00:07:01.000 Yeah, because that seems kind of, yeah, like it gets kind of crazy when you start having

00:07:04.380 like fans and supporters, you know?

00:07:06.380 Yeah.

00:07:06.780 I really, when I turned a corner of being absolutely, you know, out of any kind of conversation

00:07:15.520 to having people, you know, want to like know more about me beyond comedy, that's when

00:07:22.500 it got a little funky because I was like, oh, I'm really different from, you know, the

00:07:27.380 persona.

00:07:28.160 So that's the only part that was tricky.

00:07:30.020 I love the correspondence with fans when we were talking shop, talking comedy, talking

00:07:34.100 bits, talking, you know, whatever is coming up next when they were like, um, what makes

00:07:39.140 you sad?

00:07:39.980 It was like, uh, I don't know if I could share that information.

00:07:43.200 Oh, that's what our whole podcast is based on.

00:07:45.440 My whole podcast is based on like, you know, just things that I've thought or felt or.

00:07:50.320 Yeah.

00:07:50.620 Yeah.

00:07:51.000 Well, now I, now I'm like the opposite.

00:07:53.120 Now I can dig super deep and I've kind of been through every incarnation of a career.

00:07:57.800 So it's like, now this is perfect because, uh, I've, I've 29 years later grown into the

00:08:04.120 idea of like being introspective is actually way more exciting than just being observant

00:08:09.940 of behavior.

00:08:11.000 Yeah.

00:08:11.380 Yeah.

00:08:11.960 Yeah.

00:08:12.400 Because I was reading like some people, cause you're definitely like a performer, you know,

00:08:16.980 and I've always been big on, I've never been a, like I respect joke writers, but I like

00:08:22.880 why I personally enjoy watching a performer.

00:08:25.740 Right.

00:08:26.300 You know, it's why I love like Sebastian Maniscalco.

00:08:28.660 Yes.

00:08:29.120 You know, it's like, it's one of the reasons why I like watching Chris D'Elia.

00:08:31.980 Like I, I like watching something occur.

00:08:35.580 Yeah.

00:08:35.900 You know, and it seemed like, um, but performers, it seems like don't get as much credit from

00:08:41.560 the media at all.

00:08:43.340 Yeah.

00:08:43.740 It's similar to like how most of the time, like bombastic movies that are like action oriented

00:08:51.140 doesn't get the same kind of, um, uh, critical acclaim as something that's just, you know,

00:08:57.180 a little dour and modeling and dramatic it's bonkers.

00:09:00.140 It's like the same amount of effort, energy, uh, creativity, um, impact, all of that stuff

00:09:05.660 needs to come together in order to make an act like that.

00:09:08.280 And I, I'm the same way I grew up Jerry, you know, Jerry Lewis, uh, Steve Martin, um,

00:09:13.860 dice, you know, people, uh, Martin short.

00:09:16.180 I just like people that went for it, you know, and, but as I got a little bit older, started

00:09:20.880 to realize, oh, if you can, um, if you can work this craft and try to, um, build yourself

00:09:27.080 up, there's a way to actually have that and then bring something that's, uh, written or

00:09:33.800 more introspective to it, which is kind of cool now.

00:09:36.260 And do you feel like, so do you feel like you're doing that more with your new tour,

00:09:39.500 with this new tour that you're going on now?

00:09:41.240 Yeah.

00:09:41.600 What's different between it?

00:09:42.620 Like if you're a fan coming out that came out, you know, that was on the Dane train in

00:09:46.940 the beginning, you know, that was on, cause it was really like a rock.

00:09:49.740 I mean, was that like a rocket ship when you, cause I mean.

00:09:53.220 It, it really wasn't because it was a slow burn.

00:09:56.680 It probably felt that way for a lot of people that, you know, suddenly were like smacked

00:10:01.640 in the face of like, who's this name?

00:10:03.220 Dane Cook.

00:10:03.660 I keep hearing, but the college market I had for all of the nineties been just like.

00:10:09.700 Chipping away.

00:10:10.300 Chipping out and, you know, just like partying after with everybody and just trying to ingratiate

00:10:15.000 myself.

00:10:15.940 And, um, and, and, and also it was just fun, you know, cause I was a kid hanging out with,

00:10:20.700 you know, making a little money, having some fun.

00:10:22.560 But, um, I always understood the, the campaign element of it, which is if I want to, you know,

00:10:27.700 be elected a comedian of the year until my service is over, like I'm going to have to get

00:10:33.560 as many people on board without a TV show, without, I didn't have a lot of, I didn't have

00:10:38.160 like the, just for, I was talking to Bruce Hills at just for a laugh.

00:10:41.460 I said, you never had me on one new faces.

00:10:43.800 I just didn't have any of the industry support access support early.

00:10:48.440 And, uh, it's probably good because it just made me have to cultivate my own means.

00:10:53.320 They don't get, it seems like, yeah, it's like, I wonder why they don't, I think a lot

00:10:57.120 of them yet like scares them or something to believe that it makes it feel like it's not

00:11:01.820 about the entertainment anymore.

00:11:02.880 It's just about what the industry kind of wants to push sometimes.

00:11:05.900 Right, right.

00:11:06.440 It's, uh, it's what's relevant right now today.

00:11:09.180 And it, and I, I'm probably, I'm not going to be a hypocrite.

00:11:12.020 I've, I've been guilty of it myself where it's like, you just glom onto something because

00:11:16.300 everybody's so enthusiastic about it, but with time and, and, and you're going to learn this

00:11:21.800 as well.

00:11:22.220 And I've talked to people before me that turned this corner.

00:11:25.600 There's a, there's a moment, there's a process during your career where you start to,

00:11:30.960 um, earn a pedigree where you start to, um, uh, you're seasoned and that's actually when

00:11:39.060 a performer I think is more interesting.

00:11:41.160 You know, the trajectory, it's great, shiny, new, exciting what they do with that and how

00:11:46.260 we evolve and how we communicate with each other.

00:11:49.120 And then to the crowd, I feel like a 30 years in almost that I'm just getting good.

00:11:54.400 I'm just using all the tools in the arsenal to tell the kind of stories that I've always

00:11:58.400 hoped to tell and when to answer your question directly, what's different about the tour

00:12:02.380 now is, yeah, there's more introspection cause I have more hindsight to, to play off

00:12:08.340 observationally, but it's my hindsight.

00:12:10.560 It's, it's my, um, story, my ups, my downs.

00:12:14.480 And the thing that was the, probably the trickiest about this tour in this time was I just didn't

00:12:20.400 want it to be a one man show.

00:12:22.500 I love one man shows, but I didn't want my show to be something less than what people

00:12:27.680 had seen before.

00:12:28.540 I wanted the same LPMs laughs per minute with all the new tools that I had in my arsenal,

00:12:34.500 which took a little, it took a little time to get around that, that, uh, that turn.

00:12:38.700 So what do you, but it seems like, Oh, I mean, like, I mean, comedy is a one man.

00:12:41.580 So when you see, when you say you don't want it to be a one man show, like, what do you

00:12:44.480 mean by that?

00:12:45.020 Yeah.

00:12:45.120 Like I didn't want it to be, um, introspective to the point where it wasn't great for

00:12:51.160 entertaining.

00:12:51.940 Yeah.

00:12:52.340 You know, I wanted, if you saw me 20 years ago, the greatest compliment I've gotten this

00:12:56.200 last weekend, my tour just recently started is people saying seeing you eight times was

00:13:01.620 at Madison square garden.

00:13:02.800 Was that this was that that this is my favorite show I've seen you do.

00:13:06.280 And people saying, honestly, I didn't know you could do that.

00:13:08.720 I wasn't sure if you could exceed my expectations again, but the show is as good, if not better

00:13:16.000 than other shows I've seen you do in the past. 0.99

00:13:18.000 And that, that's the greatest as a comedian, except for people quoting your shit and saying 0.99

00:13:22.780 it back to you, which is always fun. 0.99

00:13:24.720 You feel like Mark Twain for a little bit, right?

00:13:28.340 Um, it's, it's really, uh, it's, it's kind of one of the coolest aspects of, um, still

00:13:35.100 being able to do it at the level that I've, I've been doing it.

00:13:37.780 Yeah.

00:13:38.120 It's cool.

00:13:39.160 Do you feel you've always seemed to me like kind of to be like a lone wolf kind of, do

00:13:44.080 you feel that I think that in, I don't feel that in life.

00:13:48.240 I feel like if anything, I, I, it's an embarrassment of riches with how many great, um, mentors and

00:13:54.040 friends that I have in, in, in, out of comedy.

00:13:56.860 Um, but when you're 28 years old and you hit the stratosphere, nobody can talk to you

00:14:06.840 about that.

00:14:07.380 Nobody understands it and perception takes over because then people start to believe

00:14:13.640 that maybe you're, um, not accessible and, uh, and who is accessible to you. 0.99

00:14:21.080 You don't find out two years later, bullshitters. 0.97

00:14:23.240 People want to make a little scratch, right? 1.00

00:14:25.140 People that see something to gain, sociopaths, scoundrels, fucking, it's like most Isley's 1.00

00:14:30.500 cantina from star Wars, like all the scum and villainy wants to seek you out. 1.00

00:14:36.360 Cause they want to, they want a piece of the sparkle, man. 0.98

00:14:39.060 Everybody wants some of the sparkle.

00:14:40.460 You see somebody with sparkle. 1.00

00:14:41.380 It's like, Oh fuck. 1.00

00:14:42.400 I want to, I want to glimmer with that person. 0.99

00:14:44.880 But now what happens like, but it's always seemed like you, do you have this thing where

00:14:49.020 you, it's like, I, you, you have to, I have to do this myself.

00:14:52.820 Cause it always seems like you are this different kind of like, you're like Pluto kind of a little

00:14:59.300 bit, not that you're out pushed to the outside, but that you choose to kind of be in

00:15:04.200 this, you know, like, yeah.

00:15:06.380 You don't know if I'm a planet or a ball of ice or just like a rumor that science made

00:15:10.540 up, you know, like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, you don't really know.

00:15:14.660 It's like, is this guy a planet?

00:15:16.100 Is this guy a ball of ice?

00:15:17.500 Like you see, you seem like that.

00:15:19.020 You seem to just a regular comedian coming up.

00:15:22.240 You know, it's like, who is this?

00:15:23.980 Like everybody else seems a little bit more accessible, a little bit more.

00:15:28.280 You feel that?

00:15:29.000 I don't feel that with a lot of comedians.

00:15:31.040 Yeah.

00:15:31.440 And maybe, and that could just be my perception.

00:15:34.460 Your graduating class in my, in my graduating class, I wouldn't feel that way about the comics

00:15:38.820 I came up with in and around, but I think it, maybe it's generational.

00:15:43.200 Right.

00:15:43.980 When I met people ahead of me, I was intimidated to go up and talk to them.

00:15:48.700 And you know what I did?

00:15:49.440 I did the same thing people kind of put on me, which is they don't want to talk to me.

00:15:53.120 Why would that person care about me?

00:15:54.640 Why would I'd see a David Spade or Chris Rock when I was young in New York?

00:15:58.540 And why would they care about talking to me?

00:16:00.660 So what did I do?

00:16:01.660 I projected, they're probably too cool for school.

00:16:04.520 Yeah.

00:16:04.900 Until finally you're at the comic table with somebody or we're John like this and you're 0.99

00:16:08.180 like, oh shit, no, that's. 0.99

00:16:10.040 It's not that crazy. 0.99

00:16:10.980 Yeah, no, it's definitely, I don't feel like the warden of the North, like some Game of

00:16:14.520 Thrones thing where I'm, uh, I'm, I'm Pluto or something on the far outside.

00:16:19.120 I do like that.

00:16:21.580 That's part of the interpretation of what I am because it's a whole hell of a lot more

00:16:26.320 interesting to be somebody where people want to put their hand on their chin and go, what's

00:16:31.220 going on?

00:16:31.900 Then somebody was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we get it.

00:16:34.860 We got it.

00:16:35.360 I never wanted to be that.

00:16:36.320 I thought I was that.

00:16:37.400 I actually thought I was like, yeah, yeah, we get it.

00:16:39.460 You move around a lot on stage and trying to write some stuff.

00:16:42.460 We get it and dismissed.

00:16:43.540 But if anything, the polarizing was like, oh good.

00:16:47.080 Yeah.

00:16:47.240 I'm not milk toast. 0.96

00:16:48.040 I'm not fucking boring. 0.97

00:16:49.200 Right. 0.91

00:16:49.540 I'm, I'm interesting.

00:16:50.500 I'm almost like a little bit of a, a good guy, bad guy.

00:16:54.020 You don't know how I'm rolling.

00:16:55.020 Yeah.

00:16:55.160 That's what I feel like with you.

00:16:56.160 It seemed like the anti-hero.

00:16:57.680 Yeah.

00:16:58.320 And you know what?

00:16:59.160 It was fun.

00:16:59.940 It's been fun.

00:17:00.900 You know, has that been a goal?

00:17:01.840 It seems like, cause you, I feel like you, you're definitely seem like obviously super aware,

00:17:07.160 especially comedians are hyper aware of who we are and what's going on.

00:17:11.320 I think anyway, a lot of.

00:17:12.360 And super sensitive as well.

00:17:14.040 And super sensitive.

00:17:14.420 Yeah.

00:17:14.840 Which is one of the reasons you have to be hyper aware because you have to know, or those

00:17:18.080 things kind of go together.

00:17:19.040 Cause it's like, you're so aware that it makes you overly sensitive because you're, you're

00:17:23.660 taking in so much that there's so many ways that you could feel that we could feel offended.

00:17:27.700 Yeah.

00:17:28.180 Easily.

00:17:28.760 Right.

00:17:29.000 And so we're so, you know, aware and then so sensitive at the same time.

00:17:32.700 Yeah.

00:17:32.880 I think that we're a lot of comics.

00:17:34.720 I think what we do is we, you know, we, we ruminate and we are, we're seeing 10 different

00:17:39.600 incarnations of what could be.

00:17:41.520 And what does that do?

00:17:42.660 That, that, that then makes you start preparing for what if a happens, what if B happens?

00:17:47.560 We exert a lot of energy, even in our stillness.

00:17:51.040 Dude, it is exhausting.

00:17:52.520 Yeah.

00:17:52.820 Being hyper aware.

00:17:53.720 Yeah.

00:17:54.020 It's exhausting having to constantly like protect yourself from like seven different

00:17:58.100 ways of feeling uncomfortable.

00:17:59.860 Right.

00:18:00.260 You know, you ever hear those stories about Jim Carrey early on in his career when he

00:18:03.680 would, he, he had this and.

00:18:05.920 Did you ever work with him?

00:18:07.300 Uh, no, I never had the opportunity to work with him, but I've, I've, I've worked with

00:18:11.160 people that have collaborated with him and I, I, I usually don't just, uh, on hearsay,

00:18:16.100 I need like a few different people to validate.

00:18:18.300 And I started hearing from a few different folks that like back in the day when he would go 0.95

00:18:22.780 to a party, if he thought people were going to fuck with him, doing what we're doing, 0.97

00:18:27.240 thinking, oh, so-and-so is going to be there. 0.99

00:18:28.660 What if she says this?

00:18:29.520 What if he says that, that he would sit and pre-plan some stuff to, you know, roast you

00:18:36.420 or haze you.

00:18:37.780 Right.

00:18:38.080 So you couldn't hurt him. 1.00

00:18:39.200 Some eight mile shit, man. 1.00

00:18:40.520 He had like it already on tap. 1.00

00:18:42.280 He'd, he'd practice, you know, imagine the energy that that took.

00:18:46.940 Cause what if you see one of those people, you know what I mean?

00:18:49.640 Like what if they just come up and people, yeah. 1.00

00:18:51.840 And he's like, yeah, your fucking neck. 1.00

00:18:54.780 You're right. 1.00

00:18:55.400 He, yeah, he, that's the neck you wore.

00:18:57.640 Yeah.

00:18:58.000 I could see him.

00:18:59.020 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:59.300 He would go, he would go, uh, deep cuts on that shit. 1.00

00:19:02.540 And, um, and I understand a little bit of that. 0.99

00:19:04.660 I think that, um, I think that the, the, you know, if you're thinking about a career in

00:19:10.040 comedy, what you got to realize is, um, it's, it's an amazing community.

00:19:14.260 It's a brotherhood.

00:19:15.260 I mean that guys and girls, but it's also really cutthroat.

00:19:18.560 And it's also, um, sometimes it's very participatory and sometimes it's very isolating, you know,

00:19:25.160 and you got to know what you need to be at what point.

00:19:27.420 Right.

00:19:27.920 Um, and that's hard to know.

00:19:29.100 And I, I had to learn the hard way, which was pretty much on my own, but then meeting

00:19:33.920 mentors along the years that, uh, were, um, the knowledge that they passed on to me, helped

00:19:40.140 me to figure out what a career really is.

00:19:42.860 And there's going to be a crest and you're going to dip and it's going to come up and

00:19:46.220 then it, there's so many more elements than just what we do on stage.

00:19:50.740 Right.

00:19:50.900 You know, when you, so when your career like blew up, you know, cause I mean, you had what

00:19:57.000 I, I mean, I, and I've, I've talked about this even in discussions about you when you

00:20:00.820 weren't around, um, that you were like kind of the Steve Martin of our time in the way

00:20:05.740 that some are of, you know, that somebody, no one has that.

00:20:10.020 I mean, that's such a rare thing that somebody has, you know, has that trajectory.

00:20:14.940 Yeah.

00:20:15.260 It's just a rare thing.

00:20:16.300 It happens to someone, you know, and it happened to you and not saying that you're, you know,

00:20:20.840 obviously you did the work, but what happens like with your ego in that part, that's something

00:20:25.760 we always talk about it.

00:20:26.700 Cause one of my scariest things to me is my own ego.

00:20:29.140 Right.

00:20:29.540 Cause it's such a, it's me and I know that I'm crafty and that I'm cunning.

00:20:33.700 And so I know that my ego is that as well.

00:20:36.220 Right.

00:20:36.540 Like what happened?

00:20:37.440 Like, what do you, like, did you find for yourself?

00:20:39.520 What I found was, um, maybe a little different because I had grown up so, um, uh, as an introvert,

00:20:49.380 I had grown up with a lot of fear.

00:20:51.540 I grew up as a, as a self loathing.

00:20:54.800 Um, uh, you know, I was in an environment of, um, there was alcoholism in my family.

00:20:59.920 There's a lot of heaviness and I felt like I grew up fast.

00:21:02.780 Um, so the years that I spent doing standup leading up to what would seemingly be an overnight

00:21:09.720 sensation, 15 years later, the ego stuff really wasn't, um, uh, like a, uh, a bravado or some

00:21:20.560 kind of cockiness.

00:21:21.560 It was really more of, Oh, I'm, I'm finally starting to feel like I can love myself because

00:21:28.140 I obtained something in life or where I didn't really know what I would, um, get to, you

00:21:34.140 know, I pipe dreamed a lot of big stuff, Steve Martin and dice and seeing these guys.

00:21:38.260 Um, so definitely you always have those in your head, especially if you're in the business

00:21:41.700 and you're seeing other people have those things.

00:21:43.640 Yeah.

00:21:43.920 And so I think that if I'm, if I'm understanding correctly, it's like, to me, like ego was like,

00:21:50.300 I'd be at the cellar when I was still new and Chris Rock would come in.

00:21:53.560 He bumped me, he bumped anybody. 0.59

00:21:54.800 And that was, that was like, that was part of it.

00:21:56.880 That was kind of like a rite of passage as a comedian, like, okay, some big star, bigger

00:22:00.640 star is going to come in.

00:22:01.920 And so when I made it, I was like, Oh, I can do that too.

00:22:04.900 You know, I can walk into the laugh factory, which is primarily where I would just go and

00:22:09.640 feel like I can do what I want.

00:22:10.980 This is I've arrived.

00:22:12.480 So that was something I needed to get through the rotating door about to realize like, no,

00:22:17.840 there's still actually like, it's still procedural and you can still have respect for your peers.

00:22:22.480 And there's a way to do that.

00:22:24.600 That's, um, more appropriate than just a barnstorming a club and then like, you know, so I, I got

00:22:31.340 my knocks.

00:22:31.920 I learned some lessons earlier.

00:22:33.560 Yeah.

00:22:34.000 Yeah.

00:22:34.160 Yeah.

00:22:34.340 And only because certain names and some of my names, you know, would reach out and be

00:22:39.420 like, can't do that, man.

00:22:40.340 You know, you don't want to, you don't want to do that.

00:22:41.820 You want to try to play it like this or, um, and so I, you know, I learned as I went

00:22:47.220 and now I try to kind of what we're doing here, pass on to whoever the next girl or guy is coming

00:22:52.580 up to say like, you know, when people say stay humble, that's no bullshit, you know, really try

00:22:57.800 to, you know, keep yourself as modest and, um, you know, it's nice to be self-affirming,

00:23:03.260 but you gotta, you gotta, you gotta be able to like, if, if you're going to get a huge

00:23:09.440 level of, um, of power in, in any industry, really like how you manage that and how it,

00:23:16.820 it reverberates off you to others that impacts you years later when that person says, Hey,

00:23:22.340 thanks for being cool to me.

00:23:23.460 Yeah.

00:23:23.880 You know, thanks for being, I remember one time, like Tosh, he got really mad at me.

00:23:29.220 Uh, we were, I never was really close to him and we were in the laugh factory lobby once

00:23:33.700 and I usually talk out of school, but like, this is one of those stories that, and I think

00:23:39.180 I had put my hand out to him and he was like, no man, no, I don't need you in my life.

00:23:43.700 He, he said something that was really kind of harsh and I was like, Daniel, what, I'm

00:23:48.040 just, you know, congrats on the success and all that.

00:23:50.420 And he, he, he, he was not interested in having that conversation because I had not been, um,

00:23:58.720 I had not been cordial to him coming up.

00:24:01.720 I probably didn't take the time on many nights at the factory to, to hobnob or just, yeah,

00:24:08.280 just to, I, I had not realized that the level of, um, influence that I had that, um, that

00:24:16.260 younger comedians at that moment, um, not now, but at that moment, like that would hurt

00:24:21.760 them if I were to walk by and not acknowledge them, but I wasn't doing it to hurt anybody.

00:24:25.760 I was just still an introvert in many ways.

00:24:27.980 Right. 0.98

00:24:28.300 You know, it's, it's man, it's a fucking, it's perplexing and a paradox sometimes even, 0.95

00:24:33.380 you know, for me, we had a very deep conversation, um, off pod and, and, you know, we're, we're, 0.98

00:24:40.280 we're complex.

00:24:41.880 Yeah.

00:24:42.200 We're complex beings and you and I had never been like close, but we just seen each other

00:24:45.440 in clubs, talked a few times and, um, and yeah.

00:24:48.740 And then I came up to your house and, and we hung out that time.

00:24:51.840 Yeah.

00:24:51.980 It was definitely interesting because I didn't know.

00:24:54.380 Yeah.

00:24:54.680 It's like, I feel like other comedians, uh, you kind of get a vibe from and you kind of get

00:24:58.200 an understanding of, and you kind of seem like that, like that rare element.

00:25:02.180 That's kind of like, well, what's going on with this guy?

00:25:04.860 Like, is this guy, this guy's out, this guy's kind of seems like a lone wolf to me.

00:25:09.460 Yeah.

00:25:09.760 I, I, I guess that in terms of how I came up in comedy, that's a, a fair assessment because

00:25:14.840 I wasn't in a pack that was all doing arenas and, um, and billboard charts and top selling

00:25:22.580 platinum albums.

00:25:23.440 I, I was alone.

00:25:24.900 Yeah.

00:25:25.120 I was really alone.

00:25:26.180 There wasn't, uh, another person dice was 35 years ahead of me having done it.

00:25:32.180 Madison square garden, 1990.

00:25:33.940 And I bumped into him at Mulberry street pizza when I was like, it was like, Oh, five, Oh

00:25:39.200 six. 0.91

00:25:39.540 And everything I was by myself, just having a slice, just fucking sitting there, you know, 0.98

00:25:42.880 napkins on my face. 0.94

00:25:44.280 He sat right in front of me and I, I got to, you know, have this conversation with an icon,

00:25:50.240 somebody I looked up to.

00:25:51.220 And, and I felt like finally I was talking with somebody who really understood when I was

00:25:55.980 talking about, uh, the hardships that went with it and the loneliness, you know, there,

00:26:00.060 there was some loneliness.

00:26:01.120 I was like, Oh, I got here cause I wanted to be in the community and share, but I didn't

00:26:04.940 know I was going to seemingly skyrocket to where people felt, um, uh, like a disappointment.

00:26:10.880 I wanted to, I thought that was good for the business of all comedy, right?

00:26:14.660 You know, because in the nineties comedy albums were dead.

00:26:18.080 Everybody was telling me comedy was kind of like, you know, after the boom of the eighties,

00:26:22.240 everybody told me they're like, comedy isn't like, you know, it was oversaturated.

00:26:26.520 Comedy central wasn't putting on people that were really, um, uh, seasoned and ready.

00:26:31.160 And so there was a period of time where comedy was a little bit bottom of the totem pole.

00:26:35.520 And I, I felt like, Hey, I'm, I think I'm helping to shed light on a new generation of

00:26:40.500 comedy fans.

00:26:41.140 Yeah.

00:26:41.620 So outside perspective, very different about what people felt to me to what I was hoping

00:26:47.220 that I was emulating out there for others, you know?

00:26:50.220 Yeah.

00:26:50.740 And jealousy probably was huge.

00:26:52.380 I mean, I can only imagine that like, cause everybody was a little bit jealous of Dane

00:26:56.640 Cook, I think, you know, I think that what happened was a lot of comics would say to me,

00:27:03.780 man, I'm so sick of DJs and people that are interviewing me for my show.

00:27:07.840 I'm trying to build saying, literally saying, why don't you do what Dane does?

00:27:11.600 Yeah.

00:27:11.880 Why aren't you?

00:27:12.900 And, um, it was frustrating.

00:27:14.820 Well, I heard you say on stage one time, this is one of the most interesting things I'd ever

00:27:17.460 heard someone say on stage.

00:27:18.640 You said, yeah, I've been going to therapy a lot recently and it's interesting that I'll

00:27:23.720 sit down.

00:27:24.300 I sat down in the therapist's office for the first time and they're like, Oh, Dane Cook.

00:27:28.700 I've heard a lot.

00:27:29.640 I've heard your name a lot and hear from other comedians.

00:27:32.180 Yeah.

00:27:32.520 And that was like such an interesting, I just remember hearing that, man.

00:27:36.440 And that was such an interesting thing.

00:27:38.400 Yeah.

00:27:38.860 It was, it was weird.

00:27:40.420 You know, I remember that moment and being like, cause he had worked with a lot of comedians.

00:27:43.840 He was recommended by.

00:27:45.220 Right.

00:27:45.540 Yeah.

00:27:45.680 Via the comedy community.

00:27:47.020 Like you should talk to him because he, you know, he gets it.

00:27:49.620 He knows the world of comedy.

00:27:51.420 His opening line literally was your name comes up a lot in here, man.

00:27:56.360 And it's like the vulnerability in that moment of being like, and then wanting to know what

00:28:01.940 are they saying?

00:28:03.700 Of course.

00:28:04.480 That would be so bizarre because then it's like, there's so much of you going on outside

00:28:08.800 of you.

00:28:09.480 Right.

00:28:09.980 Such a view and such a conversation of you outside of you.

00:28:13.480 Right.

00:28:13.740 And it wasn't until some time that, um, uh, certain comics had, you know, come to me

00:28:20.060 and said, uh, one comedian, she was, she was so, uh, I don't want to name drop her if 0.93

00:28:25.340 she wants to come forward and say, it was probably Whitney Cummings, but it was not Whitney.

00:28:28.340 Okay.

00:28:28.520 Um, but I love Whitney.

00:28:29.560 Uh, but this, uh, comedian came to me and just said, uh, you know, I, it took me a while.

00:28:35.020 I was one of the people that bashed you.

00:28:36.580 I, I misjudged you.

00:28:37.880 I, and she's like, a lot of that was my own, um, feeling of not getting to, you know, what

00:28:44.100 I was hoping the fear, you know, it's really like everything comes back to love and fear,

00:28:48.380 man.

00:28:48.640 What drives us.

00:28:49.500 Oh yeah.

00:28:49.960 And what we, you know, what we want to hold on to and, and what we want to pass up on.

00:28:54.480 Um, why do you think you were like easy to hate if that's an okay question? 0.67

00:28:58.300 Well, look, I was like young and wearing fucking cool jeans and I had some like, did 0.72

00:29:04.640 you ever wear fur? 0.92

00:29:05.400 Be honest, dude.

00:29:06.300 I never wore fur.

00:29:07.440 I never wore fur.

00:29:08.500 Not faux fur.

00:29:10.000 Is that what you call big for faux?

00:29:11.760 Is it hawks?

00:29:12.460 First, hopefully I would assume being from Massachusetts, you would go with real fur, dude.

00:29:15.980 That's Paul Revere country.

00:29:17.120 You guys have earned the real fur.

00:29:19.000 Um, but did you ever wear fur?

00:29:20.780 No, I did not.

00:29:21.600 No, no, we didn't.

00:29:22.520 But my mom had some fur coats. 1.00

00:29:23.900 So I probably did throw one of my mom's fur, but not once you got it popular.

00:29:29.360 No, once I, once I made it, I was, it was like, uh, you know, tight shirts and, um, I,

00:29:35.940 you know, the image that I was trying to create, um, Steve Martin, the white suit, the, the,

00:29:41.860 the dichotomy of being like, Hey, I'm dressed up really nice, but I'm being like wacky and

00:29:46.280 and then dice, of course, the element of, uh, of like bad-ass and, and cool Eddie Murphy

00:29:51.900 and the, you know, leather outfit.

00:29:53.740 I was figuring out, Hey, you know what my thing is like, I'm, I'm coming up with this

00:29:58.640 next generation and dudes are more fashionista in many ways than, you know, in the past.

00:30:04.820 So I just found my niche and I played up on that.

00:30:08.480 And then I, I could understand years later, looking back, like, Oh my God, I wouldn't

00:30:13.520 have liked that guy either.

00:30:14.940 You know, it's, it's, uh, you know, hindsight is, uh, an incredible, incredibly prolific thing.

00:30:21.100 Um, and you don't know what the time you just think you're, you know, I don't know, just,

00:30:26.120 you're doing the best you can to try to create an image that, um, that resonates.

00:30:30.380 Yeah.

00:30:31.040 You know, and you did a great job.

00:30:32.200 So at certain points, cause when you say like, you know, the jealousy and did it a feel, I

00:30:38.020 wasn't, I wasn't looking at that.

00:30:39.460 I was looking at 20,000 people.

00:30:41.420 I wasn't looking at the one guy in the comment section who was like, of course, yeah.

00:30:45.440 You know, so looking at the master square garden, you're looking at the, the proof that

00:30:48.620 was in front of you.

00:30:49.280 Yeah.

00:30:49.680 Was that everything I'm doing is right.

00:30:50.960 Yeah.

00:30:51.220 It was like, I was just looking at, um, the love from the fans that I had, uh, found or

00:30:57.020 who found me.

00:30:57.980 So it really didn't hit me until many, many years later of like, oh wow, there's really

00:31:03.080 some genuine animosity.

00:31:04.780 And it's just up to me to have conversations like this with my peers, with the brotherhood

00:31:10.320 of comedy to say, uh, I'm accessible.

00:31:13.200 And, uh, you know, you know, if you're a fan, I'm accessible.

00:31:15.920 You could DM me.

00:31:16.700 I write everybody back.

00:31:17.680 Sometimes people write me and say, Hey man, I'm having a shitty day.

00:31:19.860 And I go, here's what you need to do.

00:31:21.420 Cause I'm super sensitive and I'm empathetic to that.

00:31:24.640 So the perception of me very different than who I am, um, when I'm just, you know, at

00:31:31.560 home kicking it.

00:31:32.580 Yeah. 0.97

00:31:33.600 Yeah.

00:31:33.960 It's interesting.

00:31:34.500 Yeah.

00:31:34.640 Cause that's, I mean, yeah.

00:31:36.000 If I'm real candid, it was just like, yeah, what is Dane?

00:31:38.600 Like Dane seems like this, I don't know.

00:31:42.200 Yeah.

00:31:42.340 Like this kind of like this Pluto kind of like this thing where people don't know, but for

00:31:48.920 some reason people have felt rubbed the wrong way, you know?

00:31:51.860 But then also has probably had the ability to gain, garner a huge amount of jealousy 0.96

00:31:56.240 over time as well.

00:31:57.980 So yeah, there's a lot of factors in there.

00:32:00.120 I bet it was probably hard to sift through some of that if you even wanted to look at

00:32:02.880 it.

00:32:03.160 It was, it was like, uh, because it, it didn't, it wasn't, even though it wasn't affecting

00:32:07.800 me directly in terms of like business, it affected like my fans didn't like feeling

00:32:12.320 like they were.

00:32:13.880 Yeah.

00:32:14.240 Then if you were a Dane fan, then it was like weird.

00:32:16.360 Right.

00:32:16.620 There was a period where it's like, people were like, Hey, am I, I say I like you.

00:32:20.060 And then I get attacked by other people.

00:32:21.820 Yeah.

00:32:22.580 But when you start in a wheelchair because I was at your Madison square garden, 20,000

00:32:27.920 seat show, what you start to realize what's going on, bro.

00:32:31.560 Here's the, here's the breakthrough breaking news in what everybody learns when you become

00:32:36.860 successful and what you're learning, you know, you, you, right now you're in the pink cloud

00:32:41.800 phase.

00:32:42.460 Everything's, you know, everybody's finding you and discovering you and passing you around.

00:32:46.060 Um, everything is mediocre, everything, every single thing is mediocre.

00:32:52.880 Aerosmith.

00:32:53.440 I love them.

00:32:54.200 There's somebody going, eh, I don't, that's not my thing.

00:32:57.480 You can't name a book, uh, uh, a magician.

00:33:01.820 Nobody definitely can't name a magician.

00:33:03.460 You can't name magicians.

00:33:04.300 And can we just admit magicians are comedians arch nemesis?

00:33:07.700 Are they really?

00:33:08.900 I mean, that should be a movie.

00:33:10.780 Who else is it?

00:33:11.620 Yeah.

00:33:11.940 It should be a movie, dude.

00:33:12.840 And it definitely should be a movie.

00:33:15.420 Who else could our arch nemesis be?

00:33:17.440 Um, uh, no, that's it.

00:33:20.280 It has you win.

00:33:21.620 That's it.

00:33:22.280 That's the end of that, that run right there.

00:33:23.980 Um, but I interrupted, but everything, no, everything is, you find out, uh, success introduces

00:33:28.240 you to, uh, mediocrity because then everybody outside of your realm, um, is going to tell you

00:33:35.420 why you're not that great and, and what sucks about you, you know, you can, we're watching 0.72

00:33:40.320 careers right now of people, let's just say in the last five years, and what do they do? 0.97

00:33:44.660 They get white hot.

00:33:45.840 And then, um, you know, and then it's like the spanking machine. 0.96

00:33:49.260 Everybody's going to get tagged and we're going to find things out that we don't like

00:33:52.700 about them.

00:33:53.060 And then what happens is your, your fan base, the bottom of the V right here, they're still,

00:33:58.260 you know, pretty much rock solid in place.

00:34:00.000 Most of them, and then everybody out here is, um, in the business of telling you, yeah,

00:34:06.040 we don't care.

00:34:06.900 Right.

00:34:07.260 And they want to tell you, and they're going to reach out to tell you all we can do.

00:34:10.200 Just come up with the next set, next joke, get up on stage, try to have a few more laughs

00:34:16.080 with our friends, family, and then, um, do one more show.

00:34:19.320 That's, that's what I'm doing.

00:34:20.580 Yeah.

00:34:21.480 We definitely seem to be really fearless.

00:34:23.120 You know, that's for sure.

00:34:24.180 Like just to, cause I grew up in fear to continue to keep your head down and keep going.

00:34:28.380 Grew up in fear.

00:34:29.000 When you grew up in fear based, which I was, then man, just, you know, once I, once I found

00:34:38.640 this, um, conduit comedy, once I had that, it was like the dilithium crystal. 0.99

00:34:45.400 I had fucking superpowers. 0.85

00:34:47.160 I had this ability to actually be, um, present and important to people when I didn't even feel 0.99

00:34:54.040 important to myself.

00:34:55.360 Right.

00:34:55.820 It took a long time for all those things to equate, um, uh, a well-rounded, healthy lifestyle,

00:35:04.740 both on and off stage, you know, to be able to have great conversations like this.

00:35:09.260 Yeah.

00:35:09.780 You know, do you, um, did you have an idea what you thought like being a star was or something

00:35:14.720 like that before you like hit like a level of stardom popularity?

00:35:19.260 Oh, what a great question, man.

00:35:20.680 That, that, um, I remember, um, Rob, you know, seeing guys like Robin Williams playing, uh,

00:35:29.740 like Garp and...

00:35:31.940 Like a world according to Garp?

00:35:32.980 Yeah.

00:35:33.400 Oh, dude, that's one of my favorite books of all time.

00:35:35.020 Love it.

00:35:35.360 It book, amazing.

00:35:36.660 The film, you know, awesome.

00:35:38.320 He was awesome and I was looking at a lot of comedic actors, um, and admiring that they

00:35:46.600 could tell different kinds of story.

00:35:48.240 They could make you laugh.

00:35:49.180 Maybe they could make you cry.

00:35:50.640 To me, that was like, uh, an, an interesting, um, route for a career.

00:35:56.340 So what I did and where it plays into the question is like, I, I took my foot off the gas of what

00:36:03.640 I knew people had, um, discovered me as, and was like, I'm going to downshift and try

00:36:10.520 to go in that direction so I can have some more credibility and outside of comedy.

00:36:15.920 Um, deconstructed myself really in the mid, you know, 2000 era.

00:36:20.280 You mean like with films and stuff like that, with that kind of work?

00:36:22.680 Yeah.

00:36:22.780 Cause then I started getting some opportunity to do things that were very different from

00:36:27.860 standup based on my standup.

00:36:29.520 Kevin Costner was a fan of my standup and then said, do you want to play a serial killer

00:36:33.560 in this movie with me?

00:36:34.560 And it was like, suddenly that was when I felt a certain level of stardom when I was,

00:36:39.820 um, not so much from the comedy ever, but from the, um, being received in a, this all

00:36:48.480 comes back to inclusion and feeling isolated as a kid, you know, Kevin Costner's and

00:36:52.420 Demi Moore's and Juliette Binoche and Steve Carell, people that I, I love to watch them

00:36:57.800 do things that were so drastically different.

00:36:59.520 We're now saying, Hey, you, you know, right.

00:37:01.720 Yeah.

00:37:01.860 You're then you're one of us.

00:37:02.860 You're one of us.

00:37:03.540 Yeah.

00:37:03.640 So that's when I started to feel a bit of, um, Oh wow.

00:37:07.200 I, I, I'm, I'm in a, I'm in a different circle.

00:37:10.180 Right.

00:37:10.360 I'm in an inner circle.

00:37:11.060 And do you, do you, do you feel like then you start treating people differently?

00:37:14.020 Like, like, was there, was there ever a point you felt like, like looking back, like, Oh, 1.00

00:37:17.280 I was an asshole. 0.99

00:37:18.600 You know, I never felt like I was an asshole. 1.00

00:37:20.780 I never felt like, uh, I had never gotten to a place where I, like I had seen some other 0.88

00:37:25.580 comedians in some other behaviors.

00:37:29.120 Um, you know, there was Eddie Griffin is who there was, um, there were some magicians out 0.99

00:37:35.000 there actually who were fucking assholes, um, Siegfried and tiger face, whatever that guy's 0.99

00:37:40.180 name was. 1.00

00:37:40.680 I saw that, uh, I, I saw some behavior in other, um, not even just comedians, but just

00:37:45.880 in other celebrities, you know, having been in LA for a bit.

00:37:48.480 And I thought it was really deplorable.

00:37:50.280 And I wanted to be a person that, uh, if, if you could approach me, if you felt like

00:37:55.140 I was approachable, that, uh, you know, there was something to be gleaned from both

00:37:59.340 my success and failure. 0.94

00:38:00.600 So I, I, I never felt like an asshole. 0.81

00:38:02.980 Well, I, I would listen to people talk about me, you know, Joan Rivers, I'd never met 0.99

00:38:07.100 and she called me an asshole on Stern. 0.89

00:38:08.720 I never met her. 0.99

00:38:09.460 I never made a Joan Rivers joke.

00:38:10.880 I respected that woman.

00:38:12.300 She, she, you know, she was cool, built it in, in cool and funny and always funny.

00:38:17.580 She used all the racial slurs once on TMZ and it's still one of my favorite clips. 1.00

00:38:20.700 I'll watch it at night.

00:38:21.400 Sometimes for bed, it's like, you put on some creams and then you'll watch Joan.

00:38:26.920 She's like, somebody's at this and somebody's at this and somebody's at this and somebody's

00:38:29.980 at this and people just need to get used to it. 0.89

00:38:31.740 Um, well, Joan, you know, called me an asshole and I remember I was, you never met her, never 0.97

00:38:36.420 met her, never met her. 0.98

00:38:37.480 And I was, uh, man, I was like mortified.

00:38:40.540 Why did you think that? 0.98

00:38:41.340 Oh, I either, a, I'm such an asshole that it's reached Joan Rivers, like the rumor of 0.98

00:38:45.600 it or that what is going on that people think this or just that I become a name that people 0.99

00:38:52.000 for some reason associate with this.

00:38:53.640 You know what, if I was going to get really, um, if I was going to go deep into like the,

00:38:58.540 the, the human element, the id, super id, what's going on with this, I would say I, the

00:39:06.060 one thing I didn't realize how to do was, um, reach out early in my career when I broke

00:39:12.120 through to, to celebrate some of the comedians that came before me.

00:39:16.040 If I met you, I would, I would, I met Dice at the pizza place.

00:39:18.920 Um, and, and I can only, I'm guess, I'm guessing, but maybe it, maybe it hurt her that I had arrived

00:39:24.740 and maybe didn't shout her out.

00:39:26.760 Right. 0.97

00:39:27.180 You know, cause we're all so fucking sensitive. 0.98

00:39:29.440 Yeah. 0.74

00:39:29.680 And what I've learned about her from other people was, Hey man, she was, she was very

00:39:33.660 sensitive to see where we're all that. 0.99

00:39:35.980 Um, and so the, having people call you an asshole from time to time is, uh, it was actually 0.96

00:39:42.840 kind of, um, it was confusing. 0.96

00:39:45.480 Was it uplifting in a weird way though?

00:39:47.060 Was there part of your ego or part of you?

00:39:48.740 I mean, part of any of our ego where they're like, at least they're talking about me.

00:39:52.420 Well, the, the part that you, cause you've had, and I ask you this cause you've had some,

00:39:58.000 I mean, you know, there's not anybody else that I could think of that's had this same

00:40:02.340 story that you've had.

00:40:05.220 The best part about being, being considered, um, you know, being ostracized in a way where 0.98

00:40:10.860 people think you're like the bad guy or an asshole or whatever is for me, I can only talk 0.83

00:40:15.520 about my experience, but for me it was like, good, this is an armor to keep the people that 0.99

00:40:22.220 have hurt me my whole life away.

00:40:24.020 Cause they're a little scared of me because they think I'm something beyond just a regular

00:40:28.420 guy, which I'm just a regular dude.

00:40:30.960 I'm just funny for an hour and a half on stage.

00:40:34.280 And otherwise I'm pretty basic, you know, I'm jeans and t-shirt kind of guy.

00:40:39.340 And, uh, you know, so that to that extent, I didn't mind, uh, uh, I didn't mind everybody,

00:40:46.520 uh, having an opinion on me and I didn't really mind if it was harsh.

00:40:50.620 It just started to hurt when my fans were really included in my family, you know, even my family,

00:40:56.360 like why'd this tabloid say this about you or, um, that's when it started to get a little

00:41:00.220 confusing because I was like, Oh, I'm just here to make people laugh.

00:41:03.460 And you know, I get it.

00:41:04.480 Nobody loves everything.

00:41:05.680 Right.

00:41:06.100 People don't love you.

00:41:07.420 But, um, it was a little weird, you know, even looking back and talking about it now,

00:41:12.080 it's still like, what did I ever do to anybody except just try to get laughs.

00:41:16.280 The greatest thing that we can do is try to get laughs.

00:41:20.100 I'm trying to, yeah, I'm trying to, it wasn't like I'd get laughs and people would be withering

00:41:24.380 and dying.

00:41:24.900 And it's like, give me all the power of laughs to where it's like you would leave an empty 1.00

00:41:29.500 fucking theater of just corpses. 1.00

00:41:31.160 And you're like, I'm an asshole. 1.00

00:41:33.360 I steal souls. 1.00

00:41:34.800 It was just like, no, I just want to make you forget about your fucking hardship for a 1.00

00:41:38.680 little bit. 0.98

00:41:39.100 And if people take issue with that, then that's what other people think of you is none of your

00:41:43.620 business.

00:41:44.040 Yeah.

00:41:44.480 You know, I try to, I try to implement that.

00:41:47.020 Yeah.

00:41:47.380 I don't know why I wonder why that thing, why that thing surrounded you so much then

00:41:51.220 that it was like, I remember the first time, um, yeah, I just wonder why that surrounded

00:41:56.760 you so much, but it doesn't now, which is kind of funny because if you talk to people

00:42:01.500 now, uh, or even somebody talks to you, it's like, no, once you talk to me and once you

00:42:06.580 hang with me, you'd be like, oh man, he's, he's pretty level headed.

00:42:10.420 You know, I'm not a person that has a lot of, uh, foibles otherwise, man.

00:42:15.420 I'm pretty, uh, you know, I'm a, I'm a Boston kid and we say it like it is and wear our heart

00:42:22.220 on our sleeves and I'm not into playing a character.

00:42:26.000 I'm into my journey for the next many years of my life is like, how can I be more present?

00:42:31.080 How can I be more real?

00:42:32.200 How can I be more, um, uh, authentic?

00:42:35.940 Yeah.

00:42:36.420 You know, organic.

00:42:37.220 That's, that's my journey now.

00:42:38.800 Wow.

00:42:39.440 Yeah.

00:42:39.800 It's interesting, man.

00:42:40.580 It's such a, yeah.

00:42:41.340 Cause after we hung out, I was like, ah, I was like, I don't know what, I don't know if,

00:42:45.080 you know, I didn't know what thing.

00:42:46.900 I was like, Dane seems so like normal and, and, and it had, I had never.

00:42:54.720 And I told you my preconceived notion of you.

00:42:56.940 Yeah.

00:42:57.300 I was very honest with you about saying, Hey man, I prejudged you as well.

00:43:00.740 I thought like, oh, this is a guy that's like trying to make it out of some other career.

00:43:04.420 And is he really, uh, a purist?

00:43:06.780 And, and I was, uh, you know, I, I wrongly did the same thing.

00:43:10.220 Yeah.

00:43:10.540 I took that car.

00:43:11.260 You left my house that day.

00:43:12.220 And I was like, I could grab a lunch with that guy.

00:43:14.900 I like him. 0.94

00:43:15.740 You know, you're really, uh, you're deep, you're a deep guy and you're fucking funny.

00:43:20.020 You know, you're, you're, you're funny.

00:43:21.360 You deliver on stage.

00:43:22.520 Everybody knows that everybody's chatting about it.

00:43:24.360 Um, so I admire that, but I like that you can do this.

00:43:27.560 Right.

00:43:27.960 You know, I wish in some ways I had more of this maybe around that time.

00:43:31.940 Right. 0.99

00:43:32.200 Where the fuck were you, Theo? 0.99

00:43:33.360 You could have helped. 0.99

00:43:35.100 I don't know, dude.

00:43:35.940 I was probably doing cocaine.

00:43:36.980 Come on, crispy Vaughn Tons.

00:43:39.080 Let's go.

00:43:40.180 Hashtag crispy Vaughn Tons.

00:43:42.220 Um, let's go to, uh, we have fans have submitted questions this week.

00:43:45.660 Oh, I love this.

00:43:46.180 Okay.

00:43:46.380 So, um, and I actually had one too.

00:43:48.280 Okay.

00:43:48.780 Uh, you talked about, or you've never drank or smoked or done a drug at all.

00:43:53.200 Fact.

00:43:53.760 Yes.

00:43:54.120 Like when you were at your darkest, did that even cross your mind as like a, something to turn

00:43:58.480 to?

00:43:58.920 No. 1.00

00:43:59.700 Pussy dude. 1.00

00:44:00.320 Why not? 1.00

00:44:00.840 No.

00:44:01.160 Okay.

00:44:02.000 I just never, uh, it was not, it truly was not something that was on my radar and growing

00:44:08.500 up as a, you know, I'm an adult child.

00:44:10.340 I'm an alcoholic.

00:44:11.160 Alcoholic.

00:44:11.240 Yeah.

00:44:11.560 So I watched. 0.73

00:44:13.120 You would be an alcoholic.

00:44:14.160 I would definitely be an alcoholic. 0.98

00:44:15.400 And you might be just a dry one.

00:44:16.820 I'm not, but I'm not addicted.

00:44:18.200 I don't have an addictive personality outside.

00:44:20.760 So I don't know if I would, but I'm intense.

00:44:24.340 Yeah.

00:44:24.580 I'm intense.

00:44:25.140 You know, competitive with myself.

00:44:27.420 Um, I think I said years ago, if I did drink, I'd probably need to be the drunkest person

00:44:31.840 in the room because it's like, I know, I just have to, you want to win.

00:44:35.440 I want to win.

00:44:36.540 I want to, I want to show myself that I can do more.

00:44:39.180 Um, but it never, it never, uh, was very interesting to me.

00:44:43.760 You know, it wasn't, wasn't my thing.

00:44:45.440 Yeah.

00:44:45.620 Like even sometimes people with alcoholic parents, they, they end up repeating the same

00:44:49.760 patterns.

00:44:50.220 I think it's like impressive.

00:44:51.500 Well, my, my mom said to me one day, your dad was really brilliant.

00:44:55.420 He was a brilliant guy.

00:44:56.500 He was a BC graduate and a businessman.

00:44:58.560 She said just, and she goes, and he fucks up because he gets in his own way and he, he

00:45:03.920 breaks everything down that he was building up.

00:45:06.020 And so I was like, if I don't imbibe, maybe I can build up and not have the breakdown portion.

00:45:11.940 So, you know, but I might start doing heroin, man.

00:45:15.620 I've been thinking about it.

00:45:16.620 Oh dude, I haven't, you know what?

00:45:17.680 I'm at that age where I'm sure it'll probably help.

00:45:19.760 Oh yeah.

00:45:20.440 I could see you taking a little hit.

00:45:22.240 I mean, you take a little weight off though.

00:45:24.000 I don't know if you're prepared for that.

00:45:25.100 I wouldn't mind that.

00:45:26.080 That would be.

00:45:26.460 But do you find, do you have a, do you have like an obsessive, do you have an addiction

00:45:28.980 you think with working out or like an obsessive, like, uh, cause you always are like,

00:45:33.060 you definitely seem jacked.

00:45:34.540 No, I don't.

00:45:35.480 Uh, I mean, I don't have, uh, some, I don't have like a regiment.

00:45:39.600 I do love working out because it's good for my brain.

00:45:42.160 I think a lot of when I'm like doing cardio and coming up with,

00:45:45.620 ideas, you know, I do have a lot of energy.

00:45:47.420 I'm, you know, the energy people see on stage, it's not a put on right.

00:45:51.880 That's love of the game energy.

00:45:53.740 When I get up there, um, I have to temper it sometimes because I'm so excited.

00:45:58.100 Yeah.

00:45:58.440 I think maybe that's one thing that makes you like confused or has made you confusing

00:46:01.500 to people.

00:46:01.800 I think your energy is just different.

00:46:03.220 It's very frenetic.

00:46:04.140 You have this, like, you know, it's very different than a guy.

00:46:09.300 You would think maybe see a guy doing comedy.

00:46:11.900 It's like an anomaly in a way.

00:46:14.340 Yeah.

00:46:14.580 I, I, I don't know.

00:46:15.480 I guess I, I watch other comics that, you know, have energy.

00:46:19.260 And I guess maybe because how I came up, I can look at somebody else and go, oh, this

00:46:23.960 is, this is, um, this is organic.

00:46:26.540 This is like, uh, the, they love the movement and stuff.

00:46:29.300 Not as a, not as a, uh, a character or a layer.

00:46:32.900 Right.

00:46:33.340 Um, but they're just so enthused to be, um, you know, and then the whole, you know, ego

00:46:40.000 of having people around you love you and care about what you're saying on top of the artistry

00:46:46.900 of performing, man, it's, it's, uh, it can be very, um, it could be elusive and it could

00:46:51.800 also be very addictive.

00:46:52.960 Yeah.

00:46:53.200 You know?

00:46:54.140 Yeah.

00:46:55.220 Let's hear this.

00:46:56.220 Cool.

00:46:56.380 Cool.

00:46:59.300 DL, Dane, what's going on guys?

00:47:01.800 Had a quick question for you.

00:47:03.960 What is your most proud moment as a comedian?

00:47:07.000 Wow.

00:47:07.820 Uh, just a moment that might stand out to you or, uh, give you the most joy.

00:47:13.040 Uh, that's it.

00:47:15.020 Thank you.

00:47:15.660 Gang gang.

00:47:16.340 Gang gang, man.

00:47:17.000 You've had a lot to pick from.

00:47:17.960 I'll let you choose first.

00:47:18.980 You want me to go first?

00:47:19.480 Okay.

00:47:19.700 Um, I think it would probably have to, no, I know it would be.

00:47:29.400 Uh, the, I've hosted twice, but the first time I hosted Saturday Night Live.

00:47:33.560 Yeah.

00:47:34.460 Um, because.

00:47:35.740 I can imagine that.

00:47:36.560 What happened was that I'm going to give you the, the, the abridged version.

00:47:39.860 Cause it's actually more convoluted, but I wanted to be on the show for years.

00:47:44.240 Saw it when I was a kid and was like, that's where I belong.

00:47:46.560 This circus of freaks and whatever, these weird characters and wigs, people wearing wigs

00:47:51.180 at work. 0.98

00:47:51.680 Who doesn't want to wear a fucking weird wig and go to work and like do a voice like 0.99

00:47:55.580 this for like five minutes. 0.99

00:47:58.520 Right.

00:47:59.000 I was like, I love that.

00:48:00.200 Now, whatever that outlet is, I need to plug into that.

00:48:03.060 So usually that's a lunch lady usually, but I love how, yeah, that's a skit. 1.00

00:48:07.480 We should definitely a Saturday Night Live too.

00:48:10.420 I would, uh, I would watch the show and, uh, I would dream about doing the show.

00:48:15.740 And then years later, Lauren Michaels came and saw me at, uh, the comic strip in New York

00:48:21.780 city.

00:48:22.200 My career was already starting to really roll.

00:48:24.780 We were talking about maybe potentially doing like a Billy Crystal one season thing where

00:48:29.340 I'd come in and just be like a comic for one year on there and do skits and stuff.

00:48:33.600 But that kind of fell through.

00:48:35.360 And so then I said to Lauren that night after we talked at the comic strip, I said, uh,

00:48:39.620 Lauren, I, I'd love to host.

00:48:42.200 And he said to me, he's like, yeah, that's not going to happen.

00:48:44.560 And I was like, why?

00:48:45.760 And he goes, cause that's not, that's not how we do it anymore.

00:48:48.840 I go, yeah, but Carlin and prior and all these guys, like they would do the monologue

00:48:53.600 and it was different.

00:48:54.280 Cause it was standup, not a skit.

00:48:55.520 And he's like, yeah, that's, it's, it's passe.

00:48:57.720 We're not doing it.

00:48:58.480 And then four months later, retaliation came out number four on the billboard charts.

00:49:03.340 I'm in a hotel in Vegas for the comedy festival.

00:49:06.360 Lauren Michaels.

00:49:07.140 He called me up.

00:49:07.860 Hello.

00:49:08.400 Hey man, you're hosting.

00:49:09.940 And he gave me a date right there.

00:49:12.040 So.

00:49:12.880 Wow.

00:49:13.300 What did you do after you hung up the phone?

00:49:14.560 Be honest. 1.00

00:49:15.060 Did you jerk off or no? 1.00

00:49:16.100 Fucking four times in a row. 1.00

00:49:19.300 I didn't even have anything in it at the end. 0.99

00:49:21.140 The last one just air came out.

00:49:22.580 Oh dude.

00:49:23.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:23.420 Confetti came out of my cock hole. 1.00

00:49:24.940 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:49:25.340 That's called Apollo 17. 0.97

00:49:26.500 And there, when just fucking, there's nothing at the end. 0.97

00:49:28.880 That's one that blew up. 0.98

00:49:29.700 I like that.

00:49:29.940 Where you got the Apollo 17, Pluto, there's kind of a, a whole astrological and astronomical. 0.67

00:49:35.260 But did you honestly, do you think you jerked off or not honest?

00:49:37.800 No, I, I, I flipped out, man. 0.99

00:49:40.540 Have you ever jerked off? 0.99

00:49:41.580 You seem like maybe it was never jerked off also. 0.99

00:49:43.040 I'm not a big jerk off guy. 0.98

00:49:44.220 You know, I, I, you know, I pick my moment and then it's like, when I do, it's, it's a 0.98

00:49:48.540 party, you know?

00:49:49.580 Yeah.

00:49:49.820 But some guys are like, I got a buddy. 0.98

00:49:51.540 He's like, dude, I got to jerk off every day. 0.98

00:49:53.320 Sometimes two, three times. 0.99

00:49:54.360 Oh yeah.

00:49:54.680 That's too much, man.

00:49:55.840 That's half of our listeners.

00:49:57.040 That's half of our listeners.

00:49:58.080 And I'm like 80 days off of pornography right now.

00:50:00.560 So I'm, dude, I, this past weekend I had the first weekend on the road where I didn't 0.91

00:50:04.500 jerk off or didn't think about it.

00:50:07.640 Wow. 0.97

00:50:08.380 The first weekend.

00:50:09.720 Yeah.

00:50:10.100 In 15 years of doing standup.

00:50:12.060 So that's how I know that there's positive stuff and not watching pornography.

00:50:15.620 Oh my.

00:50:16.040 Yeah.

00:50:16.660 I think that's smart, man.

00:50:17.820 That's an interesting, uh, are you talking about that in your standup too?

00:50:20.700 No, I just, well, no, not yet. 0.97

00:50:22.880 And when we talk about it on the podcast a lot, we have a lot of guys who jerk off and 0.97

00:50:25.500 are trying not to. 0.94

00:50:27.000 So no, it's never been my prime directive. 0.82

00:50:29.300 I don't know if that would be like, Oh, most of my life goal is trying not to jerk off.

00:50:32.660 So it's pretty, I was more like, no, I actually want to meet a beautiful woman and like try 0.95

00:50:37.000 to, you know, actually have sex with a woman that was for many years. 0.57

00:50:39.960 That was my goal. 0.88

00:50:40.780 I don't touch myself.

00:50:42.060 Oh, I had that goal. 0.99

00:50:42.960 And then I would jerk off in this, ruin that goal. 0.96

00:50:45.180 You know, I was just sitting there ruining my own goals. 0.99

00:50:47.540 You ever just get with the girl and then jerk off and just have it like, you know, a twofer. 0.99

00:50:50.820 My thing now is I don't, if I have sex with a girl, I'm not coming. 1.00

00:50:53.540 That's for, I do that by myself sometime, you know? 0.78

00:50:56.360 Okay.

00:50:56.840 Because women want to play hardball, I'm playing hardball. 1.00

00:51:00.620 You know, that's how I feel, dude.

00:51:02.220 I'm not doing that.

00:51:03.440 You're not getting that baby girl. 0.54

00:51:05.100 Oh my God.

00:51:05.640 This is where you would go to a commercial break.

00:51:07.640 Excuse me for just a second here.

00:51:09.880 I got to ask you something.

00:51:11.740 You, do you remember 1999?

00:51:14.980 Huh?

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00:52:45.780 And now back to the show.

00:52:47.940 So Lorne Michaels calls.

00:52:49.540 Yeah, man.

00:52:50.120 You have that conversation in Vegas.

00:52:51.700 You must have got off the phone and felt pretty.

00:52:54.940 I was emotional, you know, emotional because it was really, you know, the kid in seventh grade.

00:53:02.520 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:03.160 The kid from seventh grade that dreamt the whole thing.

00:53:05.720 It was like validation.

00:53:07.600 Boom.

00:53:07.880 That day.

00:53:08.280 I've had a few moments in my career where I felt like really embraced.

00:53:11.440 But that standing backstage at SNL, hearing the band play, being in that dark back area, looking through the beveled glass and seeing the crowd a little bit warped and then opening that door up and knowing I'm here because I did it.

00:53:28.600 I did it all myself.

00:53:30.120 I'm not on a hit show.

00:53:31.200 I'm not on a hit anything.

00:53:32.680 Yeah.

00:53:32.920 I'm just a dude who gets up there and slings some ha-ha for a little bit and I made it all the way to SNL, you know?

00:53:38.680 It shows you anything is possible.

00:53:40.680 Really, anything is possible, man.

00:53:42.080 It's like just, you know, whatever you want to come to fruition, it's all hard work.

00:53:45.980 Any time you fail, any time people don't make it to where they feel like they want to get to, I feel like a lot of that is self-imposed.

00:53:53.260 Really?

00:53:54.140 I think we put the obstacles in front of ourselves.

00:53:56.300 Yeah.

00:53:56.520 Yeah.

00:53:57.240 Yeah.

00:53:57.640 I think that sometimes we, it's just the human condition is like we want to, you know, human beings, we're not exactly programmed to be just love, support.

00:54:08.240 And caring or else we wouldn't have money.

00:54:09.980 We'd just be like making things for each other all the time.

00:54:12.120 I built a hut.

00:54:13.060 Theo, live in it.

00:54:13.940 It'd be dream catchers, things like this.

00:54:15.560 Somebody sent me this neck brace for somebody who's, you know, because I always want to have a little bit of a longer neck.

00:54:21.780 I got a limited neck.

00:54:22.520 That looks like my grandma's tampon.

00:54:24.840 Well, she's obviously been through some tough times.

00:54:26.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:54:27.260 She had a huge vagina. 1.00

00:54:28.400 Dang, she must have. 1.00

00:54:29.600 That is a real hitter.

00:54:31.840 Yeah.

00:54:32.380 And that is a unique flow she had.

00:54:34.020 Somebody had going.

00:54:36.940 Wow.

00:54:37.260 Did you still feel then, even when you're getting on stage, that these people aren't going to like me because I came, I did it my way or I took my own path?

00:54:46.320 Really?

00:54:46.860 I mean, around that time, then like, then it was, you know, a hundred arenas in a row over many years.

00:54:52.600 So that was just, I call that like portion of my career was just like the parade, you know, it was, um, it was just every day waking up and literally going who called today and what do they want me to do?

00:55:07.700 And how can I, you know, how can I play in the sandbox for one more day of, of, you know, entertainment?

00:55:13.840 Um, it wasn't until, you know, everything finally hit that upper, upper crest right around like 2010.

00:55:21.100 And then as it started to come down the other side, I remember feeling like, uh, okay.

00:55:26.060 So I had my moment and now I, it's literally going like, like our act after a certain amount of time.

00:55:32.260 It's passe and we're a new comic again.

00:55:36.540 And I was a new comic again.

00:55:38.040 I was ready for the next chapter and I didn't mind that it wasn't going to be as white hot for a little bit.

00:55:43.180 Did you have a moment at the top at the, when you started to come down the other side where you're like, did you feel like you had friends?

00:55:49.060 Did you feel like you had people around you?

00:55:50.980 Like you still feel like you still had like comedians that were on your side or at that point was it?

00:55:55.440 I mean, I had the guys that I, you know, Eddie Murphy came to see good luck, Chuck.

00:55:59.440 He came to support my movie and I felt like maybe not again, my graduating class.

00:56:05.340 Yeah.

00:56:05.620 Very tight.

00:56:06.380 Very, um, you made, I made it with a lot of guys, you know, fortunately, like a lot of guys in our group, um, has had and continue to have a really wonderful success.

00:56:16.780 And yet the guys that were in front of me, you know, Richard Lewis and Jerry Lewis and, you know, dice and all these people that I had, um, wanted to emulate, um, made me feel like, Hey man, it's okay.

00:56:28.060 This is part of it too, right?

00:56:29.560 This is actually the part of the career that gets interesting.

00:56:32.100 Cause then all that stuff, I was just talking to dice last night or, um, texting back and forth.

00:56:37.220 I said, you know, this is the stuff that makes roles like when he was in blue Jasmine or stars born, the vulnerability comes from these years comes from the stuff that happens on the in-between.

00:56:46.980 You know, if I want to go back and play Madison square garden, I know I can do it.

00:56:51.240 I know exactly how to put myself right back in that, but where I'm at now in these beautiful theaters and connecting with people in a really, uh, unique way.

00:56:59.580 29 years in is, uh, is more, I'm more enthusiastic about that than thinking about what I, what I did, you know, 10 years ago or 12 years ago.

00:57:08.740 You know, now when you say that you can, um, when you say that, like, uh, so you just said like doing those roles and being vulnerable, was there, was there a moment like on the come down part?

00:57:20.400 Like on that, you know, when it, cause you can only get so high, you know, there's only so many.

00:57:24.240 And stay there for so long.

00:57:25.600 Yes.

00:57:25.920 Right.

00:57:26.720 Um, was there a moment on the come down part where it was like, uh, because it became like, people would say like, like you, it became like.

00:57:37.480 Like, yeah, it wasn't just like, oh, what, where's Dane Cook been or that sort of thing or what's going on with Dane Cook?

00:57:44.960 It was like, people kind of turned against you.

00:57:47.640 Well, it was the, um, exact opposite of how much of a spectacle it was when I arrived.

00:57:55.600 The pendulum always swings.

00:57:57.640 Exactly, huh?

00:57:58.300 Yeah.

00:57:58.680 So it was like, I'm not going to be just called like, oh, he's done.

00:58:02.800 It's going to be like, he never was.

00:58:05.500 Yeah.

00:58:05.820 He doesn't exist in the, in, in the annals of a standup comedy.

00:58:10.560 It's like, you know, or the annals, the annals or the annals either, either way. 0.99

00:58:14.240 Trust me, you get fucked a lot. 0.98

00:58:15.820 Well, there is, yeah, there is the annals of this industry. 0.99

00:58:18.540 There's some fucked up stuff in this industry where it's like, if you're not just like a joke writer and you don't fit into this certain formula that, you know, that a lot of people who run the industry think is like, this is what's funny.

00:58:30.000 Then you're not funny. 0.67

00:58:31.300 Right. 1.00

00:58:31.720 And I hate that shit. 1.00

00:58:32.880 Yeah, me too. 1.00

00:58:33.300 Because the funniest guys are the people that make people laugh the most.

00:58:36.880 That's what I think.

00:58:37.520 And that's what the ruling always should be.

00:58:39.020 And now it's gotten even worse.

00:58:40.540 Now it's like, you have to be not funny and politically correct, which has just led to basically people just reading Thoreau on stage.

00:58:49.320 Well, it's because comedy has become so corporate, you know, it's because it's a Philly.

00:58:53.240 It used to be a dark thing in a basement where everybody would go and sneak into.

00:58:56.820 And it was like, here's where you're going to hear the things that we're all thinking.

00:58:59.740 And somebody needs to say it.

00:59:00.820 And now it's sponsored and it's Viacom and it's a business.

00:59:05.380 It's a whole different thing.

00:59:07.760 I'm a purist.

00:59:08.820 I like the idea of coming into the club and, you know, no phones.

00:59:12.560 You know, I like Chappelle does that thing.

00:59:14.200 No phones.

00:59:14.760 Yeah, the bags.

00:59:15.480 They do it in Denver.

00:59:16.320 Sebastian.

00:59:17.000 I love that, man.

00:59:18.240 It's like, this should be a place where we can all come in and hang out and air some stuff out. 0.98

00:59:22.900 It doesn't mean that it's a place to go in and be racist or be fucking obtuse. 0.97

00:59:27.520 I mean, a little racist, I'm chill with, you know? 0.99

00:59:30.820 Well, maybe you.

00:59:31.680 I mean, look, bro, I'm not racist, dude, unless you are.

00:59:34.580 You know what I'm saying, brother?

00:59:36.160 What do you got?

00:59:38.380 We'll save that for later.

00:59:40.520 But wasn't it fun when you used to be able to be a little bit racist?

00:59:43.140 And even if you knew as a comedian, as entertainer, you were going to be able to get people of that race on board.

00:59:48.520 People still, listen, there still is room for that.

00:59:52.120 The whole thing is not everybody can do a joke that's so beyond the line of decency.

00:59:59.340 Not everybody's going to get away with that.

01:00:01.460 But there are people out there because they don't have malice in their heart.

01:00:06.100 And you know they're not coming at it from a place of being derogatory.

01:00:10.620 They're coming at a place of being expressing something we're all kind of feeling, something that's running through all of us.

01:00:18.580 Right.

01:00:18.780 Letting heat out.

01:00:19.300 That's a great comedian, you know?

01:00:20.480 Yeah. 0.99

01:00:20.680 But I don't, I don't, it's fucking hogwash. 0.97

01:00:22.800 All this stuff about, and I had it so much growing up. 0.98

01:00:25.060 All the alt comics, you know, for a period of time, they, I was mainstream and then I'm moving around.

01:00:30.120 I'm not David Cross.

01:00:31.240 I'm blah, blah, blah.

01:00:32.140 Everybody had something to say about it.

01:00:34.240 And then when I would try to do something different, of course, it was like an outrage.

01:00:39.180 Who is he to think he could do a dramatic role and people smashing you?

01:00:42.400 He has a joke with a sweater in it.

01:00:43.960 What is he doing now?

01:00:44.780 He's an alt comic.

01:00:45.640 Like it's every alt took as a sweater and a beard.

01:00:48.440 Yeah. 1.00

01:00:48.960 Get the fuck out of here. 0.97

01:00:51.080 Um, so I don't know, man, all that stuff comes at you and you just go, Hey, the, the only thing 0.99

01:00:56.020 that really matters is how you're being received by that crowd.

01:00:59.960 I've said a couple of times recently, people ask about my career and the good or bad.

01:01:05.440 There's only one thing that keeps you relevant in comedy.

01:01:07.980 One word keeps you around.

01:01:09.800 And if you're not that word, we're not going to see in a little bit.

01:01:13.220 Funny, funny fills rooms.

01:01:16.200 Nobody's coming and going, I'm going to go see Dane show again.

01:01:18.860 Cause it's not funny and it wasn't funny, but this time I want to see if it's still not

01:01:22.940 funny.

01:01:23.320 Nobody is doing that.

01:01:25.320 People are going to support you.

01:01:26.800 People are going to smash you.

01:01:28.820 I think that a gifted performer can, can move around.

01:01:32.880 Carlin, man, every comic should be going.

01:01:35.500 We're all Carlin, political, irreverent, physical voices, sound effects, farting.

01:01:46.160 Smart.

01:01:47.360 That's a comedian.

01:01:48.480 He's the architect.

01:01:49.480 He's one of the architects prior.

01:01:51.440 Same thing.

01:01:52.300 Who are we to like put each other in boxes when it's really all about just getting a message

01:01:57.700 across using every facet of what we are as people.

01:02:01.200 Yeah.

01:02:01.740 You know?

01:02:02.800 Wow.

01:02:03.200 I got really like, I felt myself get really, uh, interesting, man.

01:02:07.700 Nah, look.

01:02:08.320 Emotional.

01:02:08.640 It's true.

01:02:09.260 It's true.

01:02:09.800 Let's take another question that came in here.

01:02:11.140 Nicholas.

01:02:11.560 Cool.

01:02:11.700 Yo, what's up, Theo?

01:02:14.840 What's up, Dane?

01:02:15.640 This is Cy from Minneapolis, Minnesota.

01:02:20.360 What is, uh, your guys' thoughts on, you know, that whole Robert Kraft, you know, dark

01:02:26.800 arts, witchcraft, whatever you want to call it, him doing that.

01:02:30.160 What do you guys think of that?

01:02:31.800 Anyway, I love the podcast.

01:02:33.020 Gang, gang.

01:02:33.500 Gang, man. 0.99

01:02:33.860 He's talking about that suck off over there before the Chiefs game. 0.99

01:02:36.520 Oh, his name was Cy? 0.99

01:02:38.220 Yeah.

01:02:38.660 Was it Cy like S-A-I or Cy like, huh?

01:02:42.580 I don't know.

01:02:43.380 Like, sad?

01:02:44.140 Did his parents name him after a, she gave birth and she went, oh, that's not what I thought

01:02:49.040 he was going to be.

01:02:49.900 And they just named him Cy?

01:02:51.540 Anyway, thanks for the question, Cy.

01:02:53.620 Listen, if you're 77 and you want to get a little rub and tug, I think that should be 1.00

01:02:57.960 your prerogative.

01:02:58.940 The mistake he made is he shouldn't have gone to Florida, he should have gone to Europe 0.99

01:03:01.620 where they don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:03:03.320 Yeah. 0.99

01:03:04.320 Yeah.

01:03:04.680 In Europe, man, you, as part, that's an appetizer, dude.

01:03:07.920 You know, that come with the water. 0.97

01:03:10.860 But yeah, look, everybody's been jerked off somewhere by somebody they didn't know if 0.98

01:03:14.320 they wanted them to or not. 0.98

01:03:16.260 Well, I have.

01:03:17.700 I mean, that's most of my childhood, probably. 0.88

01:03:20.080 Did I remember the first time I ever, some girl jerked me off, first time it ever happened 0.99

01:03:23.140 to me into a stream, like a little kind of still water by her house and the fish came 0.80

01:03:27.860 up and ate it right in front of me, dude.

01:03:30.240 And I had these crazy dreams after that for probably maybe four years. 1.00

01:03:36.240 So your semen became chum. 0.99

01:03:37.880 Oh, dude. 1.00

01:03:38.840 You know what I'm saying?

01:03:39.640 I thought there was going to be like, what happens now?

01:03:42.580 I was so scared.

01:03:43.180 I was afraid to tell anybody.

01:03:44.320 Like, what if like, uh, like fish vons came out of the water, right? 1.00

01:03:47.840 Just a little fish with your fucking head on them. 1.00

01:03:52.180 Yeah. 1.00

01:03:52.760 I mean, just saying little jokes.

01:03:54.580 Yeah.

01:03:56.120 Because he couldn't stop chumming.

01:03:57.760 Yeah.

01:03:59.820 But yeah, so everybody goes through a tough time.

01:04:02.160 I think, yeah, look, Robert Kraft is a champion.

01:04:04.440 If those ladies, as long as they weren't, you know, being held against their will or something 1.00

01:04:08.800 and they want to, you know, perform, do that type of business.

01:04:12.720 Because I don't see anything wrong with those women doing that type of business if they need, 1.00

01:04:16.420 if they're doing it to survive and they want to do it.

01:04:18.540 Yeah.

01:04:18.760 Yeah.

01:04:18.980 Yeah.

01:04:19.120 The whole human trafficking element.

01:04:20.820 That's not what we're talking about. 1.00

01:04:21.640 That's, that's pretty fucked up shit. 1.00

01:04:23.320 Yeah. 1.00

01:04:23.720 Somebody's locked in a, yeah.

01:04:25.180 Somebody's under the influence of drugs to be kept in an alley or something like that.

01:04:28.560 Like if somebody chooses, like if Theo and I said, Hey, you know what? 1.00

01:04:31.760 For a buck, you can suck our cock. 1.00

01:04:33.380 You know, that, that should be like, we're grown men. 1.00

01:04:35.420 We can, we should be able to make that offer.

01:04:37.900 Yeah.

01:04:38.520 I mean, that's a buck.

01:04:40.000 I would say 99 cents because that always, it's more enticing.

01:04:43.500 Look at him, dude.

01:04:44.460 It's a businessman.

01:04:45.440 Meech marketing right here.

01:04:46.680 Yeah.

01:04:46.880 And I would probably raise it to about 20 bucks, you know?

01:04:50.620 Yeah.

01:04:50.980 Maybe it comes with a hoodie.

01:04:52.300 Yeah.

01:04:53.200 Get some merch at the end. 1.00

01:04:54.460 Yeah.

01:04:54.840 Now we're going to Chris D'Elia.

01:04:56.200 It comes with a doesn't make a dent hoodie.

01:04:58.720 Is he selling a lot of, he does?

01:05:00.500 Oh, dude.

01:05:00.900 I love it.

01:05:01.380 Yeah.

01:05:01.680 I just heard.

01:05:01.980 I love it.

01:05:02.260 I saw a guy with a doesn't make a dent hoodie on the other day at the airport.

01:05:05.580 I love that, man.

01:05:06.420 And I was like, wow.

01:05:07.620 It's very, very cool.

01:05:08.860 I saw a homeless guy wearing one of my shirts that I, I always donate like extra merch at

01:05:13.420 the end of tours.

01:05:14.200 And I have a picture with this, the grimiest homeless dude.

01:05:17.680 And he's wearing a Dane Cook shirt.

01:05:18.980 And I was like, that's me.

01:05:19.800 That's my shirt. 0.99

01:05:20.460 And he was like, I don't give a fuck, man. 0.99

01:05:22.460 But we took a picture in my office. 0.99

01:05:25.540 That's awesome.

01:05:26.240 What was the question?

01:05:27.060 Oh, the Robert Kraft thing?

01:05:28.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:05:28.700 Look, I mean, the guy's a champion, you know?

01:05:30.840 And sometimes you have to relax before the big game.

01:05:34.140 Right.

01:05:35.040 Sometimes during the big game.

01:05:36.260 Yeah, that's true.

01:05:37.000 And his wife, I think, is 78.

01:05:38.960 What do you bother that woman? 1.00

01:05:41.340 You're going to bother a 78-year-old woman? 0.61

01:05:43.260 She passed away like six years ago.

01:05:45.220 Oh, she did?

01:05:45.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:05:46.260 Yeah, then way fucked up. 1.00

01:05:48.240 Imagine you have him masturbating in a graveyard instead, because that's the alternative. 1.00

01:05:52.860 Man, masturbating in a graveyard should be the name of your book someday. 0.99

01:05:56.180 I don't know why. 0.99

01:05:56.980 I could just see you on the cover and maybe have some fish in a little creek that are also

01:06:01.720 like watching.

01:06:03.140 Yeah, that wouldn't be bad that it's on the edge of the graveyard.

01:06:06.800 But still, you got to think about that. 1.00

01:06:08.160 If that's the alternative, then look, man, I say we start a go fuck me campaign for fucking 0.99

01:06:12.880 Robert Kraft and get him what he needs. 1.00

01:06:14.860 Go fuck me. 1.00

01:06:15.560 Let's do that. 1.00

01:06:16.420 That's a great idea.

01:06:18.160 Man, you are entrepreneurial, man.

01:06:19.940 Well, look, I'm doing what I can.

01:06:22.980 I'm doing what I can, man.

01:06:24.420 What else do we have, Nick?

01:06:26.340 What do we got?

01:06:28.540 Hi, Theo.

01:06:29.360 Hi, Dane.

01:06:30.000 My name is Alex Jinlai.

01:06:31.720 I'm from Port Perry, Ontario.

01:06:33.800 And my question today is pertaining to age and getting older.

01:06:39.040 I recently just had a birthday at the beginning of February, and this was the first year where

01:06:44.620 I was dreading it.

01:06:47.300 And I Googled it, and I saw that you guys actually have birthdays coming up, and they're

01:06:50.220 back-to-back, if Google is correct.

01:06:52.520 Um, so I'm just curious as your thoughts, or as to your thoughts on getting older and

01:06:59.500 aging, and if it's something you enjoy, if it excites you, if it gives you anxiety, like

01:07:04.720 it gave me anxiety this year.

01:07:06.940 Um, I'm just curious as to what you think.

01:07:11.560 My favorite part of that question was when she said, if Google was correct.

01:07:14.920 That spoke to me more than anything, because a lot of times Google is, is not correct.

01:07:20.500 Wikipedia, yeah.

01:07:22.140 Don't believe everything you read on the intranet.

01:07:24.220 Yeah.

01:07:24.720 Now, I believe everything I read on the internet, but you're right.

01:07:28.740 I agree with you.

01:07:29.660 We're both right, son.

01:07:30.960 You got a birthday coming up?

01:07:32.420 Yeah, March 19th.

01:07:33.900 18th.

01:07:34.340 Really?

01:07:34.720 Yeah.

01:07:35.720 Fellow Pisces, man.

01:07:36.740 That's crazy, dude.

01:07:37.600 Cool.

01:07:38.100 Very-

01:07:38.640 How old are you going to be?

01:07:39.500 I'm going to be 39.

01:07:41.320 Dude, you look great, man.

01:07:42.360 Really?

01:07:42.780 Yeah.

01:07:43.280 I don't feel great, man.

01:07:44.320 You look 30, not-

01:07:44.980 Really?

01:07:45.480 Yeah.

01:07:45.920 Oh, no, you're good, man.

01:07:47.260 You're in good shape.

01:07:47.280 I'm thinking about holding blood off the internet.

01:07:49.000 You're in good shape.

01:07:49.280 I've had some work-

01:07:49.880 You got a good coif, man.

01:07:51.440 I've had some work done.

01:07:52.160 I had hair taken out of the back of here and put into here.

01:07:54.400 Oh, okay.

01:07:55.180 Well, it looks great.

01:07:55.980 A lot of people do that, man.

01:07:56.960 That's really, that's not uncommon.

01:07:58.820 It looks awesome.

01:07:59.440 Yeah, I've seen other people that have, and then I've also now seen other comics ask me about

01:08:02.960 it.

01:08:03.200 Right.

01:08:03.920 Yeah, why not?

01:08:04.880 Right?

01:08:05.380 It's like, if that's available, then hell yeah.

01:08:08.480 Would you ever do that?

01:08:09.380 Would you ever do anything, you think?

01:08:10.440 I would do that.

01:08:11.160 Yeah.

01:08:11.360 I mean, for me, it's like getting older.

01:08:14.480 I think we're lucky as men, because we can be distinguished, and it also adds to like,

01:08:19.880 okay, this is, I'm 46.

01:08:21.300 This is, the roles that I want to play now, and the kind of parts that I, you know, hope

01:08:26.080 to, you know, inhibit, it's like, or inhabit, is, it's good.

01:08:32.840 Age actually helps.

01:08:34.240 Right.

01:08:34.300 So I've never been concerned about aging, but at the same time, it's like, yeah, I feel

01:08:37.880 like if, I used to have a huge acne scar right here, and I would go, and I would get filler,

01:08:43.340 or I'd have them do some collagen in it, because it was like, I hated it.

01:08:47.100 I didn't like my face, because I had the-

01:08:48.400 Yeah, that drew a breeze.

01:08:49.020 You know what I mean?

01:08:49.720 Yeah. 1.00

01:08:50.100 So I was like, and it took years to finally be like, fuck it. 1.00

01:08:53.540 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:08:53.980 It's part of me.

01:08:54.680 It's part of character.

01:08:56.040 So I'm in the, I'm in, I'm fully behind doing whatever it is that you feel like you

01:09:01.740 need to do to better health and wellness, you know, whatever that is.

01:09:06.420 Somebody said you got calf implants was a rumor that went around.

01:09:08.820 Did you ever hear that?

01:09:09.560 Dude, I don't, but look at these. 1.00

01:09:11.020 Let me see them bitches. 1.00

01:09:11.140 Look at my calves, bro. 1.00

01:09:12.280 Oh my God, bro.

01:09:13.680 It looks like my friend Ben.

01:09:14.960 Look at that.

01:09:15.620 I'm like a Clydesdale.

01:09:17.660 Let me see that.

01:09:18.360 Yeah.

01:09:18.760 I never had calf implants, but I've always had huge calves.

01:09:22.400 Jesus Christ, bro.

01:09:24.120 In fact, I'm holding up all that stress, I bet.

01:09:26.460 My mom, I remember years, you know, years and years ago, I said, what was it like when

01:09:30.420 you gave birth to me? 1.00

01:09:31.120 She goes, your calf ripped the shit out of my pussy. 1.00

01:09:35.600 Dude, you probably had to have one come out first and then one come out after, huh? 1.00

01:09:39.180 There's no way you were breached, dude. 0.97

01:09:40.800 Nobody could have fucking handled that. 0.99

01:09:43.800 Jesus. 0.99

01:09:44.080 I actually, I think it was one of those things where she wanted to do like a C-section. 0.95

01:09:50.060 Yeah. 0.97

01:09:50.580 But they were like, either way, these things are going to fucking hurt. 0.86

01:09:54.740 Something's going to get stretched. 0.98

01:09:55.520 You're going to take four of your ribs out, lady. 1.00

01:09:57.040 You're going to be the next Marilyn Manson up here.

01:09:58.860 People, people, yeah.

01:09:59.920 People ask me.

01:10:01.060 Did you ever hear that?

01:10:02.020 Yeah.

01:10:02.340 That you got calf implants?

01:10:03.200 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:03.500 I mean, I've heard a lot of crazy shit. 1.00

01:10:04.980 You know, people think fucking, everybody has like that thing where they'll write you 0.99

01:10:08.220 and be like, hey, the rumor going around that you tweeze your eyebrows and you get them 0.98

01:10:12.120 like whatever they call that, you know.

01:10:14.200 Oh, I would maybe.

01:10:15.180 I mean, yeah.

01:10:16.000 I mean, I guess at some point I would look into some of that.

01:10:18.020 Blated?

01:10:18.620 I got some long ones.

01:10:19.700 It's threading or?

01:10:20.880 Yeah.

01:10:21.120 Yeah.

01:10:21.360 Blated or threaded.

01:10:21.960 Yeah.

01:10:22.260 What people don't realize is like when you're 46, and this is the stuff you learn as you get

01:10:27.440 older, the hair on the, they call this the crown part, like starts to diminish.

01:10:33.560 Yeah.

01:10:33.840 So it's not that like I'm sculpting my eyebrows. 0.98

01:10:37.280 It's like I'm fucking aging. 0.98

01:10:38.860 Yeah, dude. 0.99

01:10:40.060 I'm 46.

01:10:41.420 Hey, guess what? 0.99

01:10:42.140 Someday fucking I might not have any eyebrows. 0.99

01:10:44.060 I'd be like Whoopi Goldberg. 0.99

01:10:45.200 Yeah.

01:10:45.820 Right?

01:10:47.320 Do you, yeah, I guess aging, I get a little bit scared.

01:10:50.600 I realize that I need to do, like I want to get in shape before I do a special now because

01:10:54.100 I just want to be able to move a little bit better on stage and be at my most fluid.

01:10:57.240 Sure.

01:10:57.440 So I can, you know, like physically do things better.

01:11:01.040 I notice my body will do more for me and will take me to new places.

01:11:04.080 Like sometimes I'll do something, if I'm in really feeling good, then I'll do something

01:11:06.880 and then it'll create something in my brain where my brain's like, oh, you can do this

01:11:09.860 idea now.

01:11:10.320 Right.

01:11:10.900 And so I'm learning that a little bit.

01:11:12.440 You do yoga?

01:11:13.100 That they help each other out.

01:11:14.020 I've tried to do a lot of yoga.

01:11:15.300 Yoga's great, man.

01:11:15.960 Yeah.

01:11:16.480 Keeps you so limber and, you know, because I've always been very physical.

01:11:20.440 I don't throw my body around. 0.94

01:11:22.060 I'm not doing like fucking drop kicks and uma pilates anymore on stage and some of that insanity 0.96

01:11:26.920 because it, it, it would hurt. 0.95

01:11:28.500 But, um, but just, you know, going to the gym and keeping yourself healthy, man, that's

01:11:32.400 a, yeah, that's another tool to your performance.

01:11:35.660 Yeah. 0.94

01:11:36.060 You know, if you can do that, some people go the other way, gain fucking 150 pounds. 0.98

01:11:39.720 And that's funny too. 0.98

01:11:40.700 Yeah.

01:11:40.960 You know, greatest part about aging is that as a comedian, it's all funny.

01:11:45.560 Right.

01:11:45.960 It's all funny.

01:11:46.740 If you're, if you embrace it.

01:11:48.260 Yeah.

01:11:48.520 If you don't mind being like, got the little punch go and it's like, it's all, it's all

01:11:51.780 funny.

01:11:52.380 Well, I got that limited build.

01:11:53.580 I'm built like a kind of Stoke wagon and people, and we've talked about this before, you know,

01:11:57.240 I don't have that really, I wish I had kind of wider shoulders.

01:12:00.200 I have limited neck range.

01:12:01.780 So I've always, you know, had different things I want to do.

01:12:04.680 I used to wear a neck brace at night all the time.

01:12:06.620 Try and get my neck longer.

01:12:08.540 You know.

01:12:08.660 Try to get it longer?

01:12:09.460 Yeah.

01:12:09.780 You try to elongate yourself?

01:12:11.100 Yeah.

01:12:12.660 A little, not much. 0.90

01:12:14.320 I mean, I'm not trying to fucking, you know. 0.96

01:12:15.980 Wait, was it like. 0.99

01:12:16.880 I'm not trying to have to hold my fucking head up. 0.99

01:12:18.480 Well, I was going to say you put it on and was there like a winch that you would turn 0.99

01:12:21.480 and it was like.

01:12:24.260 Almost ready for the dance.

01:12:26.780 No, it would just kind of, you know, it'd make you really be taught.

01:12:30.560 Right.

01:12:30.820 Really more rigid.

01:12:31.860 I like to get it a little bit taught to let it know that I need business.

01:12:34.440 That was kind of my goal.

01:12:35.260 Well, I noticed that about you.

01:12:36.340 You get kind of a Terminator thing that's, that's happening.

01:12:39.100 Yeah.

01:12:39.280 Well, I'll just have limited, well, family comes from, you know, people weren't really 0.64

01:12:43.320 looking around, staying fucking focused, staying local. 0.83

01:12:46.100 They were just looking straight ahead all the time. 0.97

01:12:47.880 Yeah. 0.98

01:12:48.260 There's no fucking hindsight. 0.98

01:12:49.740 There's no. 0.99

01:12:50.240 No foresight.

01:12:50.620 That's good, man.

01:12:51.340 No side sight.

01:12:52.240 See, I like that.

01:12:53.220 Zero peripheral vision.

01:12:54.440 I like that. 0.99

01:12:55.360 My family, my whole legacy was they were looking into a fucking glass of ale for most of it. 0.99

01:13:00.500 And, you know, just can't wait to get that in their belly instead of fucking looking out. 0.98

01:13:04.380 I hate to interrupt the episode because it's a good one, I think. 0.95

01:13:07.860 But, is your home like mine, cluttered with stuff you don't even use anymore?

01:13:13.820 What's that?

01:13:14.680 A toy train?

01:13:15.880 I'm in my 30s.

01:13:17.860 Clothes and shoes you don't wear taking up valuable closet space?

01:13:22.180 A tennis net, for some reason, indoors?

01:13:25.600 Old phones hiding in drawers?

01:13:27.560 Toys and games that the kids aren't even interested in anymore?

01:13:31.300 You know what I'm talking about.

01:13:33.260 Well, let me tell you about an app that you can use to sell this stuff.

01:13:37.740 It's called Mercari.

01:13:40.160 Mercari is the selling app that makes it fast and easy to sell almost anything.

01:13:45.360 You simply take a few pics, add a description, and boom, your item is listed.

01:13:50.140 Mercari will even email you a shipping label when it sells.

01:13:53.840 It's simple.

01:13:55.200 The app has over 300,000 reviews on the App Store with an average 4.8 star rating.

01:14:01.960 So why not give it a try?

01:14:03.720 Over 100,000 items get listed every day on Mercari.

01:14:07.860 Something you don't need, put it on there.

01:14:09.560 Something you're looking for, Mercari.

01:14:12.120 So don't let that stuff that you don't use go to waste.

01:14:15.460 Sell it, ship it, and get paid with Mercari.

01:14:21.300 You can find Mercari on the App Store or on Mercari.com.

01:14:26.100 That's M-E-R-C-A-R-I. 1.00

01:14:28.860 Mercari, the selling app.

01:14:32.560 Let's take one more.

01:14:36.280 What's up, Theo?

01:14:37.420 This is a question for Dane.

01:14:39.000 Dane, I wanted to ask you why you got kicked out of the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles.

01:14:45.920 And Theo, if you had any close calls to getting booted out of the Laugh Factory, I know that's a big comedian area for comedians in Los Angeles.

01:14:56.260 Gang, gang.

01:14:57.380 Gang, man.

01:14:58.400 And I don't know, is that true?

01:14:59.640 That's where Google is.

01:15:01.580 You know, Google gets it wrong a lot.

01:15:03.380 Because, I don't know if people realize this, breaking news, anybody that posts anything on Google that says they're a reporter.

01:15:11.580 Oh, these days, yeah.

01:15:12.360 It finds a place and it stays up there.

01:15:14.300 And if a lot of people click on it, the algorithm goes, that must be reality.

01:15:18.020 Yeah.

01:15:18.400 You know? 0.99

01:15:18.820 It says on my fucking Wikipedia that my father was a potato farmer. 0.99

01:15:22.080 Was he? 0.99

01:15:22.700 No.

01:15:23.880 Never.

01:15:24.500 But people kept voting it up or, you know, I think there was like a mob of people that was like, let's put some misinformation in there.

01:15:31.380 Yeah.

01:15:31.560 And they validated.

01:15:32.580 Let's liven Dane's life up with some veggies.

01:15:35.680 Laugh Factory thing, I wish it was an exciting story.

01:15:38.660 It was not all the hullabaloo of getting banned for life and all that.

01:15:42.460 I'd known the owner for 17 years.

01:15:46.120 We had a falling out.

01:15:47.360 It literally was like, it was what men do kind of moment.

01:15:51.280 It was just like guys, the way guys sometimes fight. 0.93

01:15:54.380 And then our relationship is actually enhanced by the fact that we both allowed each other to vent and fucking, you know, have the swagger. 0.68

01:16:02.540 Two years went by, talked to Jamie, the owner, Jamie Masada. 0.92

01:16:06.820 He's like, I love you, buddy.

01:16:07.740 I'm like, I love you too.

01:16:08.600 I was there that Saturday night.

01:16:09.940 And, you know, it was just two guys that after many years of business together, successful business together, had a difference of opinion.

01:16:17.600 Yeah.

01:16:17.800 You know, our philosophies, man.

01:16:19.020 That's the thing that people don't realize.

01:16:20.600 Philosophies change.

01:16:21.660 Your constitution is different from mine.

01:16:23.520 What we're trying to do is find a place that we're, you know, where we are both being received and understood, you know, for what we're trying to put into, say, our careers.

01:16:33.320 That's something, a common ground.

01:16:34.720 But away from that, you know, it's our differences that are actually, I think, even more interesting.

01:16:40.800 Something that, you know, you're very vastly different from me and good.

01:16:44.540 That should be the way it is, right?

01:16:46.160 Yeah.

01:16:47.320 What are you most excited about with the upcoming tour?

01:16:50.080 I mean, you said that, obviously, you know, like people are coming out and they're saying, oh, wow, I didn't think that I would have a new experience with you.

01:16:56.400 Right.

01:16:56.700 But I had that.

01:16:57.940 Yeah.

01:16:58.180 I think that, well, first of all, what feels entirely, you know, I haven't, I haven't, people say like, oh, I was going to come back.

01:17:05.300 I never, I was still touring, but I just wasn't doing like a live nation, you know, put a name on it, shoot a special during it.

01:17:13.740 I hadn't had one of those years since Troublemaker, which was four years ago.

01:17:17.920 Um, and so being out there now, the thing that's the most, um, that I'm most enthused about the show is an amazing show.

01:17:27.180 The show is one of the best shows that I feel like I've put together in terms of, you know, what the, the, the bullet points I want to hit as comedy.

01:17:34.100 But I'm so present, Theo, you know, it took a long time to not be a person who was encumbered by the past and the things about my youth that made me feel so, um, maligned and outside and different, you know, and bad about myself.

01:17:51.100 Yeah.

01:17:51.300 We talk a lot about that stuff.

01:17:52.520 I did that a lot of years, man.

01:17:54.160 You know, even in, with success, looking back, why do people hate me?

01:17:57.080 Why did, why did this situation happen to me?

01:17:59.800 And then there were years where it was like, all I'm doing is looking ahead.

01:18:03.000 I'm not even enjoying the now, the here and now, what do I got to do next?

01:18:07.140 Why?

01:18:07.540 Because the expectations, when you make it in this business is like, now you're paying my mortgage kid. 0.98

01:18:11.980 So get out there and fucking do more of whatever it is that you're doing. 0.95

01:18:14.700 You feel that responsibility. 0.99

01:18:16.340 You know, I had a company with 25 people working for me.

01:18:19.140 I want to make sure everybody is winning.

01:18:22.000 That's a lot.

01:18:22.820 That's a lot more than just being a joke slinger.

01:18:24.900 Yeah.

01:18:25.320 Um, so yeah, it's different when it starts to become a business.

01:18:27.920 It's way different.

01:18:28.620 Yeah.

01:18:28.880 And then finally it, it, you know, it's settled into about 10 years ago at being, you know, something where I felt very present, but this tour in particular, because of the content, you know, it's really about the content.

01:18:40.680 Um, cause now I can celebrate all of it.

01:18:42.980 I talk about some pretty dark moments in my life.

01:18:45.980 I think in the funniest way possible.

01:18:47.780 I talk about some of the high water marks in a way that's, um, self-effacing, uh, take the piss out of myself.

01:18:53.820 Yeah. 0.98

01:18:54.100 I can fuck with my success and I can tell you why that wasn't a failure. 1.00

01:18:58.200 Yeah. 0.99

01:18:58.600 And I can do that in a funny way.

01:19:00.900 Yeah.

01:19:01.320 Tell it like it is tour, you know, and that's the name of the tour.

01:19:03.340 Tell it like it is.

01:19:03.940 Cause that's, that's what I'm doing.

01:19:05.720 Yeah.

01:19:06.360 Do you feel, um, uh, what do you think is helping you get more introspective over the time?

01:19:14.080 Therapy, you know, did some great therapy.

01:19:16.260 Um, EMDR or anything like that?

01:19:18.460 No, I just did like, you know, one-on-one.

01:19:21.340 Yeah.

01:19:21.740 Yeah.

01:19:21.960 After my parents died, I didn't know how to grieve.

01:19:23.980 I didn't know what that was.

01:19:25.040 I ignored it.

01:19:26.320 I just did more shows and just like kept trucking. 0.99

01:19:29.300 I was just like Forrest Gump when he just ran for two fucking years. 0.99

01:19:32.780 Yeah. 0.99

01:19:33.080 I just didn't stop.

01:19:34.340 And then one day I was really sad and I was like, I was, uh, I was, um, I remember I was

01:19:40.720 like real broken and it just hit me.

01:19:43.080 It was almost just like the flu, the way it just, it like entered my body.

01:19:47.180 And I was like, I miss my parents.

01:19:49.300 I'm, I lost them too soon.

01:19:50.980 They're not here.

01:19:51.720 I couldn't call them anymore to be like, what do I do with, you know, all this backlash

01:19:57.020 or all this adulation?

01:19:58.500 I couldn't call them anymore.

01:19:59.860 Right.

01:20:00.280 Um, and that really hurt me deeply.

01:20:02.740 Yeah, that's heartbreaking.

01:20:03.880 Yeah, it really was.

01:20:04.920 And I lost my brother, you know, essentially my brother died cause of all that, you know,

01:20:08.660 you know, all that craziness.

01:20:10.300 So it was like, I went through this period of my life where I needed help.

01:20:14.280 I need somebody to help me connect the dots.

01:20:16.280 So I actually found a, uh, uh, a therapist who was an agent many years ago.

01:20:21.700 So we got it.

01:20:22.900 He understood the business.

01:20:24.000 Not the, not the comedy guy.

01:20:25.700 I didn't go back to him.

01:20:26.940 Yeah.

01:20:27.340 Um, what about did, what did you feel like you had like at a time when your career got

01:20:31.820 so busy that did you feel like, like disappointing yourself that you hadn't spent more time with

01:20:38.440 your family during that?

01:20:40.200 Well, I still had a, an, an amazing connection with my mom.

01:20:43.620 And even if I couldn't, you know, physically be with her out, we talked all the time, right.

01:20:48.100 You know, and she came to a lot of shows. 0.87

01:20:49.920 If I had seven shows in new England, she was at all seven, you know, drinking Kahlua sombreros, 0.99

01:20:55.020 man, and fucking heckling me. 0.99

01:20:56.440 That's what I'm talking about. 0.99

01:20:56.940 My mom used to heckle me from the back of the room. 1.00

01:20:58.980 Wow.

01:20:59.220 She would literally yell things out like, um, talk about the night you walked in when I 0.99

01:21:03.640 was having sex with your father. 0.99

01:21:05.320 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:06.140 And then another person in the crowd would go, Hey, shut up. 1.00

01:21:10.680 And then I'd go, no, you shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:21:12.460 That's my mom. 1.00

01:21:13.620 She can say whatever she wants.

01:21:14.740 It was like an act.

01:21:15.640 Me and my mom got into this, this whole thing.

01:21:17.940 So that was, that was brutal.

01:21:19.640 But the, the, the gift of therapy, you know, some people think like, ah, no, it's, it's

01:21:24.760 hooey.

01:21:25.200 It's hokey.

01:21:25.780 It's, it is not.

01:21:26.980 As a person who sat in that seat week after week after week or on the phone, if I was on

01:21:33.360 the road to be able to purge yourself of some of those, um, negative thoughts.

01:21:40.100 Yeah.

01:21:40.380 Man, it was life changer.

01:21:42.120 Oh yeah.

01:21:42.580 I got therapy today at five.

01:21:44.340 Um, I'll go with you.

01:21:45.360 And I'm excited.

01:21:47.040 Let me just tag her off. 0.99

01:21:48.060 Like, oh, we've heard a lot about you in here.

01:21:50.400 I'm like, oh, this really runs place to place for you.

01:21:52.660 I wouldn't say a word, but every once in a while you just hear me go like this.

01:21:55.040 Mm-hmm.

01:21:56.500 Yep.

01:21:57.480 I know that.

01:21:58.420 Me too.

01:22:00.180 Did, um, man, I had a question for you.

01:22:03.040 We were just talking about, uh, your mom, you were talking about therapy.

01:22:07.200 Yeah.

01:22:07.460 Um, just getting, getting present, you know, being in the moment, being, being, you know,

01:22:13.880 in that on stage and off.

01:22:15.460 Yeah.

01:22:15.960 You know, where it didn't, who I was off stage didn't matter.

01:22:20.160 Um, it, who I was on stage didn't dictate my importance in life off stage and my insignificance

01:22:28.300 in life didn't, I didn't take that on stage to impede on my act.

01:22:32.900 A healthy balance of both, you know, it takes a while.

01:22:37.080 Yeah.

01:22:37.460 It takes, it takes, it takes a good long.

01:22:39.180 It's, we're on this road for a long time, man. 0.95

01:22:40.940 And look at Gary Shandling, you know, that, that, that documentary was so fucking powerful. 0.62

01:22:45.380 I need to watch it. 0.79

01:22:46.560 You should watch it, man.

01:22:47.480 Yeah.

01:22:47.740 Wait, I need to watch the other one.

01:22:48.780 You talked about the documentary.

01:22:50.140 Not to interrupt you.

01:22:50.760 I don't want to forget.

01:22:51.280 You talked about the documentary about the dude that saw the UFOs.

01:22:56.920 Mm.

01:22:58.000 Mm-hmm.

01:22:59.760 Yeah.

01:23:00.120 It's on, um, Netflix right now.

01:23:01.880 No, iTunes.

01:23:03.360 It's on iTunes.

01:23:04.180 Um, UFOs, uh, I gotta get the exact name of it, but blew my mind.

01:23:08.680 What greatest documentary about UFOs that I've ever seen?

01:23:10.860 I believe in all that stuff.

01:23:12.280 And this, like, I already believed it, and now I super believe it, if that's even a term.

01:23:16.780 This dude took you there.

01:23:17.640 Yeah.

01:23:18.180 He really did.

01:23:18.380 And he seemed like a reliable source, this man.

01:23:20.260 Yeah, because the documentary isn't, uh, that's it.

01:23:22.960 Uh, wait, no, is that it?

01:23:24.620 Nope.

01:23:25.240 Nope.

01:23:26.220 Now, this guy's name, is it, I think it had his name in it, maybe?

01:23:28.660 Yeah, it did.

01:23:29.560 It was, um.

01:23:30.380 Mur, uh.

01:23:31.080 Uh, it's, uh, on iTunes.

01:23:34.040 It's, like, the number one documentary right now.

01:23:36.840 The Aliens Arrive, UFO TV.

01:23:39.120 I'll check the rankings.

01:23:39.880 See, all these other things are kind of like- 0.99

01:23:42.260 Bullshit. 0.99

01:23:42.580 The narrator's like this. 1.00

01:23:43.640 They were tall, and they had eyes that were like onyx stones.

01:23:50.600 And you're like, oh, this is-

01:23:51.640 This is about Egypt. 0.99

01:23:52.600 It's fucking hokey. 0.99

01:23:54.040 Just hokey. 0.99

01:23:54.820 No, this is like a real guy who did all the research, talked to the right people.

01:23:59.060 Dan Mullins or something, what was his name?

01:24:00.980 I can't remember.

01:24:02.360 Oh, man. 0.98

01:24:02.700 You were so fucking amped about it when I saw you at the comedy store. 0.98

01:24:05.180 I was like, I need to watch this stuff. 0.96

01:24:05.980 I just can't believe that his name-

01:24:07.320 Ray Am-

01:24:08.400 Oh, I can't remember it.

01:24:09.920 Um.

01:24:10.400 Sorry.

01:24:11.280 No, it's all right.

01:24:11.780 They'll find it.

01:24:12.620 Let's play one more question, and then we'll wrap it up.

01:24:19.240 Hey, Theo.

01:24:20.600 Hey, Dane.

01:24:22.740 I have a question for both of you.

01:24:25.740 When was the moment that you two found out about each other, and then also maybe the moment

01:24:32.420 that you two met?

01:24:33.780 I want to hear your first stories and first impressions.

01:24:36.700 Thanks, gang gang.

01:24:37.800 Hey, real quick.

01:24:38.300 Before we answer that, you never got to respond to, I told SNL, what about you and your comedy

01:24:44.840 career at this point?

01:24:45.900 What's been a moment that will impact you for the rest of your life, where you felt you turned

01:24:50.700 a corner?

01:24:51.200 Um.

01:24:55.180 Okay.

01:24:55.800 Let's just take this.

01:24:58.860 You know, I don't know, actually.

01:25:00.380 That's a good question.

01:25:02.280 I think for me, it had a lot to do with starting to get accepted by other comedians, and it

01:25:07.220 wasn't something that happened on stage.

01:25:08.700 It was probably more stuff that happened, like, off stage.

01:25:10.880 And what do you think ingratiated you with people?

01:25:12.760 What was it about you that you felt like you were connecting in terms of, like, was it just

01:25:18.040 conversations you were having with comics, or were you spending time, like, bowling with

01:25:21.280 them?

01:25:21.400 Like, what was...

01:25:22.900 I think it was just doing comedy, you know?

01:25:25.580 And, uh...

01:25:26.060 And earning their respect as a consistent performer.

01:25:29.260 Yeah.

01:25:29.480 Yeah.

01:25:29.960 Because I never...

01:25:30.780 I always didn't like it when guys...

01:25:32.400 Like, there was a lot of guys who seemed like they were glad hand and, like, leeching

01:25:35.580 on people and stuff.

01:25:36.780 And that was never my way.

01:25:38.140 I never...

01:25:38.460 In fact, I wanted to...

01:25:39.400 I would not communicate with comedians that were doing well because I didn't want to be

01:25:43.080 that person.

01:25:44.340 Um.

01:25:44.760 And because I felt like I couldn't hide the fact that that's what I was trying to do if

01:25:48.360 I was trying to do it.

01:25:49.360 And so I just kind of naturally, uh, would meet people.

01:25:53.420 Um.

01:25:54.980 You know, actually start getting into some podcasting really helped, like, getting on

01:25:58.380 The Fighter and The Kid and being able to be a guest on their podcast.

01:26:00.460 Yeah.

01:26:00.880 For me, made me feel like, oh, wow, I get to, you know, joke around with these...

01:26:05.600 In these fun groups.

01:26:06.700 Right.

01:26:07.100 And then one night, Rogan texted me or sent me a DM.

01:26:10.520 And his podcast is, you know, probably the biggest one.

01:26:13.040 Yeah.

01:26:13.380 And he just said, hey, man, I'd love to have you on the podcast. 0.99

01:26:15.360 And I remember that night just feeling like, fuck, man, this is crazy. 0.99

01:26:19.940 Yeah. 0.99

01:26:20.040 Like, when do I write him back?

01:26:21.160 Do I write him back now?

01:26:22.460 I'm, like, texting, like, my friends.

01:26:24.520 Like, what do I say?

01:26:25.280 Like, do I say thanks and then say something?

01:26:27.240 Or do I not say something and then just say thanks?

01:26:29.340 What do I do, dude? 0.77

01:26:30.840 I jerked off, bro. 0.95

01:26:32.540 And I feel like I waited till the morning. 0.97

01:26:34.280 Of course.

01:26:34.740 Into a creek.

01:26:35.860 Yeah.

01:26:36.340 Yeah.

01:26:36.460 I know you, man.

01:26:37.220 Yeah.

01:26:37.640 I know your style now.

01:26:38.480 Time to feed the fish, baby.

01:26:39.700 Well, that's a huge moment, you know, because you know what that is?

01:26:42.600 That's, that's...

01:26:43.360 But I felt accepted.

01:26:44.940 ...the community saying, you know, you're...

01:26:47.260 And I had moments like that very early in Boston where I finally felt like, oh, they

01:26:51.260 know that I'm really here to work.

01:26:53.520 You know, I love this, the art of stand-up comedy.

01:26:56.600 I'm a student of it, you know?

01:26:58.280 It takes a long time for your peers to...

01:26:59.860 Because we're all a little suspicious.

01:27:01.860 Oh, yeah.

01:27:02.600 You know, who's the, who's the new guy or girl coming in?

01:27:04.720 Especially if they come from any other background.

01:27:07.080 Oh, wow.

01:27:07.540 That's interesting.

01:27:07.560 You get a little weird about it.

01:27:08.720 Yeah.

01:27:08.940 Yeah, and that's nature.

01:27:09.840 Some of that's just nature.

01:27:10.940 If this person from a different background, you think that, oh, how could they be funny? 1.00

01:27:13.780 They're not from the same ilk.

01:27:14.860 Like one time David Arquette came in and was like, I'm a stand-up now.

01:27:18.260 And he was doing all these spots at the factory.

01:27:19.960 And we're all like watching going like, you know, we love Scream, man. 1.00

01:27:24.040 But what the fuck are you doing? 0.99

01:27:25.840 That's a spot that somebody who really wants to do this, you know? 0.99

01:27:30.060 So what if, did you ever have, did you, was there ever...

01:27:32.580 And my impression, just, I can answer very quickly.

01:27:35.040 I heard about Theo for, you know, quite some time.

01:27:37.660 And I think I saw you one night performing at one of the clubs.

01:27:41.420 And I remember feeling like, oh, this guy really, I've heard a lot about him.

01:27:45.540 And I remember thinking to myself, oh, this guy, he gets it.

01:27:49.060 He really gets it.

01:27:49.980 Like, I, cause I'm, I always see the gears turning with, I can watch and, you know, I kind

01:27:54.360 of like, we're a little bit soothsayer.

01:27:56.180 Cause we know, all right, I see what he's trying to get to or what he's trying to.

01:27:59.040 Um, and, and still I had that preconceived notion until we finally actually chatted for

01:28:04.880 a little bit at a couple of clubs and then really got to know each other at, at my house

01:28:08.860 to where I could go, okay, this is a well-rounded guy who's trying to, you know, figure it all

01:28:13.820 out and then put it all back into his comedy.

01:28:16.140 So that's, I think we started off a friendship.

01:28:19.660 I'm no Rogan.

01:28:20.560 Yeah.

01:28:20.840 You don't text me in the middle of the night, you know, he's never texting and saying, what

01:28:23.640 do I say to Dane?

01:28:24.800 That's true.

01:28:25.400 But that's okay.

01:28:26.520 That's okay.

01:28:28.300 I think, yeah, for me, I would see you at the clubs and like, I always got to, I always

01:28:32.680 feel like, uh, too nervous to talk to some guys or I'd feel nervous around them, just

01:28:36.560 insecurities about myself to even just be myself.

01:28:38.700 So, you know, I probably felt like that sometimes you were friends with other guys that I knew

01:28:42.380 pretty well and, um, and so, you know, we bumped into each other.

01:28:47.300 We would talk a little bit at the improv here and there, had a couple of conversations and

01:28:51.260 then, uh, and, but that was it.

01:28:53.580 But the first time I ever saw you was at Dublin's actually.

01:28:55.440 I mean, years ago with the first night I ever came out and watched comedy in LA.

01:28:58.700 Oh my, oh wow.

01:28:59.600 That's a great show.

01:29:00.440 And you were crushing it there.

01:29:00.720 Yeah.

01:29:00.860 And it was cool.

01:29:01.660 That was, that was the whole, that was where everything was starting to change, man.

01:29:04.800 Yeah.

01:29:04.960 That's where I was really like, oh man.

01:29:06.660 Okay.

01:29:07.120 That was a world.

01:29:07.900 That was a place in its own.

01:29:08.980 Yeah.

01:29:09.300 I bet, bro.

01:29:10.060 Yeah.

01:29:10.620 Yeah.

01:29:10.900 I mean, people, great memories.

01:29:11.840 People still talk about that.

01:29:13.360 Yeah.

01:29:13.860 Bubbling at Dublin's man.

01:29:14.860 Yeah, dude.

01:29:15.560 That was crazy.

01:29:16.220 Great, great memories.

01:29:17.120 Um, was there ever a chance since you're from Boston and Wahlberg is from Boston that there

01:29:20.700 was a chance for you and Mark Wahlberg to do a movie?

01:29:23.400 Um, I, no, I've never, I mean, I've met him several times.

01:29:26.980 The closest I ever came to ever performing was he was in the new kids on the block back

01:29:32.120 when I was starting standup in a comedy group and we did shows together.

01:29:36.480 Wow.

01:29:36.780 So we would open for new kids on the block at like sober clubs.

01:29:41.200 Yeah.

01:29:41.520 We play sober clubs.

01:29:42.540 We were too young.

01:29:43.320 So we play, you know, these non-alcohol venues. 0.97

01:29:45.960 And so Joey McIntyre was like fucking 11 or whatever he was. 1.00

01:29:49.420 And probably fucking. 1.00

01:29:50.240 I got to, and chicks were, no bullshit, man. 1.00

01:29:53.280 Chicks were lining up for those guys. 1.00

01:29:55.520 I was lining up in a wig.

01:29:56.780 We just wanted to, uh, you know, whatever, whatever fell off the side of the stage for

01:30:02.640 them.

01:30:02.860 We were like, you know, hoping that maybe one girl would, would like us and want to touch

01:30:06.520 our peen.

01:30:08.380 What did you ever, were you ever offended that they didn't reach out to you?

01:30:10.980 Cause you're both from the same place.

01:30:12.480 No.

01:30:12.760 I mean, I, I, the first film I ever did was, uh, in a movie with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon.

01:30:16.920 It was called school ties.

01:30:17.960 I didn't have a significant role in it, but those guys were like, I knew, I knew in and

01:30:22.020 around Boston, they were emerging, you know, but you were in that me neither.

01:30:27.240 I'm in, I'm in it literally for like that much time.

01:30:30.080 Kirk Fox is in the Patriot.

01:30:31.340 Did you know that?

01:30:31.940 Yeah.

01:30:32.520 Yeah.

01:30:32.760 I see.

01:30:33.120 He's in, um, one of my favorite movies, Wyatt Earp.

01:30:35.940 Wow.

01:30:36.280 He's in Wyatt Earp a lot.

01:30:38.060 He's really great.

01:30:39.180 He's really great, man.

01:30:40.600 Um, but no, I never felt, uh, I've worked with many Boston guys that, you know, I, I've admired

01:30:46.200 and, and come up like him.

01:30:47.460 So if, if they called, you go great.

01:30:49.540 And if not, then, you know, it's okay.

01:30:51.360 I'm still a fan.

01:30:52.340 Yeah.

01:30:53.060 Yeah.

01:30:53.520 Cool stuff, man.

01:30:54.800 Um, anything else guys?

01:30:57.200 Are you shooting a special?

01:30:59.440 I'm going to film a couple of things this year.

01:31:02.580 I think that, uh, I got two, two specials that I want to do.

01:31:06.500 And if I can do it back to back, um, then I'm going to do that, but I don't want to give

01:31:11.380 up where I'm going to do it yet.

01:31:12.900 I'm talking to directors now and it's getting exciting.

01:31:16.480 And I'm, I'm planning on doing one and doing it myself with a, with a director and, uh,

01:31:21.420 and maybe even doing it at the main room at the comedy store.

01:31:23.220 Cause I feel so comfortable there.

01:31:24.500 Of course.

01:31:25.200 Um, do you think it matters like venue size and that sort of thing?

01:31:28.300 I mean, for me, some of it seems to be about comfort.

01:31:31.360 Like the last one I did was in a place, it was in a theater and it was okay, but it wasn't

01:31:35.060 really that comfortable.

01:31:35.840 I'd never even been on the stage.

01:31:37.060 Right.

01:31:37.380 So it didn't feel, I was very nervous.

01:31:39.800 Yeah.

01:31:40.200 But, uh, I don't, I don't think it matters whatsoever.

01:31:43.300 I mean, honestly, I feel like comedy is as long as it's, you know, got great sound,

01:31:49.300 you know, even more than lights or anything, as long as it sounds great, you know, if you're

01:31:53.200 in a place that you're comfortable hometown, uh, of course that's a legendary room and an

01:31:57.340 amazing room, just a, a, a room that embraces comedy.

01:32:01.040 So I think that's a smart moving your part, playing it there.

01:32:03.900 Um, but I don't, I don't think that, you know, it's not like saying, Hey, because you played,

01:32:09.100 uh, a 5,000 seater that, that, that, uh, you should have a more of a validation or less.

01:32:15.100 It's like, no, if you're funny, that should be wherever that you want to do.

01:32:18.700 That is going to work out.

01:32:20.180 Funny wins.

01:32:21.200 Funny wins.

01:32:22.080 Tell it how like it is.

01:32:23.600 Tell it like it is.

01:32:24.320 Tell it like it is.

01:32:25.040 Yeah.

01:32:25.740 Yeah.

01:32:25.980 We're out there, man.

01:32:26.980 Dude, I'm going to Medford actually in two weeks.

01:32:28.700 Are you serious?

01:32:29.240 Yeah. 1.00

01:32:29.580 Oh shit. 1.00

01:32:30.040 I'm so excited. 1.00

01:32:30.840 I'm nervous.

01:32:31.440 Or, you know, Boston.

01:32:32.400 I'm just, yeah, I'm excited and nervous right next to my, my, uh, town that I grew up in.

01:32:37.180 Really?

01:32:37.500 Yeah.

01:32:38.220 Yeah.

01:32:38.440 Born and raised in Arlington, Massachusetts and used to hang out at the Medford mall.

01:32:42.660 Really?

01:32:43.380 Yep.

01:32:43.620 Look for chicks. 1.00

01:32:44.340 They were coming out of fucking parade of shoes and I would just sit there on a bench 1.00

01:32:47.980 eating Brigham's ice cream going like girls, they wouldn't look at me for another 10 1.00

01:32:52.760 years.

01:32:54.060 But you were ready though.

01:32:55.380 I was, I was ready, man.

01:32:56.600 Then we used to camp out at the mall.

01:32:57.780 We used to drive to Slidell, Louisiana and we'd go stay at the mall, get a tent, camp

01:33:01.640 out outside and go to the mall again the next day.

01:33:03.860 Oh man.

01:33:05.060 What was your, do you have a store that was like your spot that you always had to go like, 0.98

01:33:08.080 I got to go to the Sharper image or some shit. 0.94

01:33:09.920 Oh yeah. 0.98

01:33:10.060 Yeah.

01:33:10.280 We went to, um, the place that have like, uh, panties, but also have like lava lamps.

01:33:15.100 What is that?

01:33:15.740 Uh, oh, Spencer's gifts.

01:33:17.740 Yeah.

01:33:18.040 Yeah.

01:33:18.360 We'd steal a bunch of stuff and then get arrested.

01:33:20.480 Even sometimes they'd arrest you and then let you go.

01:33:22.620 And then you go down to like electronics boutique.

01:33:25.260 Yeah. 0.98

01:33:25.640 And look at what the new fucking Nintendo 64 games were. 0.99

01:33:28.680 Just imagine. 0.99

01:33:29.680 Oh man.

01:33:30.220 If anybody cared about you, you'd have one. 1.00

01:33:32.780 Those fucking good times. 0.99

01:33:34.400 Uh, Dan Cook, best of luck on your new tour, man. 0.99

01:33:36.480 Thanks Theo.

01:33:36.700 Thanks for having me, man.

01:33:37.620 This is really, uh, I was excited for this.

01:33:40.300 So would you ever do a podcast of your own?

01:33:41.940 You think if you considered it or does that seem like something that everybody else is

01:33:44.960 doing?

01:33:45.280 So you're going the other direction.

01:33:46.280 I love this.

01:33:46.800 I love, uh, being a guest and coming in and, um, having come up and created my own early

01:33:53.820 version of a, it wasn't even called a podcast.

01:33:55.420 I had something called the voice of doom and the voice of doom was a little jukebox that

01:33:59.520 I would upload MP3 and I would do like a rant every couple of days.

01:34:03.120 I just put on like some stuff that I knew wouldn't be funny as much on stage, but like I

01:34:07.220 could kind of riff on.

01:34:08.300 Um, and I felt like for me, I, I, I, I'm enjoying watching so many people embrace the

01:34:16.140 entrepreneurial side of getting their voice out there way more than even if I was doing

01:34:23.100 it at this point.

01:34:24.000 Cause I'm like, I did that when it was not cool, when it was not in vogue and you're 1.00

01:34:27.960 a lot of shit. 0.99

01:34:28.720 And now it's the template, right now it's a must, it's a calling card. 0.99

01:34:33.680 So I'm just, uh, I'm grateful that, you know, I could come in here and hang out.

01:34:37.760 Hopefully you'll have me back.

01:34:39.100 Yeah.

01:34:39.540 We'd love to, man.

01:34:40.180 Thanks for coming in.

01:34:40.840 Cool, man.

01:34:41.160 Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:34:47.620 I must be cornerstone.

01:34:52.820 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:34:58.240 I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking

01:35:10.540 brake and let myself unwind.

01:35:15.020 Shine that light on me.

01:35:20.280 I'll sit and tell you my stories.

01:35:23.740 Shine on me.

01:35:29.780 And I will find a song.

01:35:33.220 I will sing it just for you.

01:35:40.740 And now I've been moving way too fast on a runaway train with a heavy level of heart.

01:35:48.640 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where all

01:35:53.720 I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways

01:35:58.260 to pleasure your partner.

01:36:00.060 The answer may shock you.

01:36:01.780 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:36:03.860 Sometimes I won't.

01:36:05.540 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:36:08.460 You have three new voice messages.

01:36:11.500 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:36:14.380 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:36:17.060 Longer than anybody else.

01:36:18.680 So great.

01:36:20.040 Hi.

01:36:20.680 Swia.

01:36:21.700 Easy to you. 1.00

01:36:22.420 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00

01:36:26.960 Do you know what I mean? 0.99

01:36:27.980 Hi.

01:36:29.100 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:36:32.040 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:36:34.120 Oh, no.

01:36:36.440 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.

01:36:38.800 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:36:43.000 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:36:47.240 Third rule.

01:36:47.740 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:36:50.940 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:36:53.020 And yes, don't worry.

01:36:54.320 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 28, 2019

Dane Cook ｜ This Past Weekend #178

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