This Past Weekend with Theo Von - August 12, 2019


Different Kinds of Corn | This Past Weekend #222


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 13 minutes

Words per Minute

170.47723

Word Count

12,462

Sentence Count

193

Misogynist Sentences

18

Hate Speech Sentences

28


Summary

In this episode, we talk about the magic that is inside of the kernels of corn, and how to keep your junk in tip-top condition. We also talk about what to do when your junk starts to get a little whiskery.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Dude, I love popcorn, bro.
00:00:02.240 I don't, how is it?
00:00:03.340 It's not a vegetable, but no other, I mean, corn is, but no other, think about it.
00:00:12.680 No other vegetable can do that trick that corn does and just say, bam, you don't, if
00:00:23.980 you look at a thing of corn, you don't know that that magic is in there.
00:00:28.240 You don't, nobody, if, you know, if, you know, 500 years ago or even 200 years ago, they
00:00:37.020 gave, you know, maybe 70 people, if they asked 70 people, write down, what do you think is
00:00:44.100 inside of this corn?
00:00:47.840 I bet none of them write sheer damn joy, magic, snack, popcorn.
00:00:55.760 That's the thing.
00:00:58.020 They don't know what's in there.
00:00:59.920 They don't know.
00:01:02.260 They don't know what's in the kernel.
00:01:03.700 They don't know, you know, people, you can't always see the magic.
00:01:08.440 You can't always see that magic.
00:01:11.300 And good eyeing, boy, good eyeing-a-rang, you can't, you can't tell me.
00:01:18.160 Dude, if you put five or six little popcorns in your hand, you can't even feel it.
00:01:24.400 That's how beautiful a little, just a little creature, that's a little snack-a-saurus, and
00:01:31.440 you just let that popcorn climb into your mouth.
00:01:34.560 And it's crunchy and it's naughty, too.
00:01:37.020 Some of it's strong and some of it's, it pops a little when you eat it.
00:01:40.720 Good gal.
00:01:42.420 Come on, boy.
00:01:43.760 Okay, but nobody knows the magic that's in there.
00:01:50.500 People can't, you know, they just, they don't know the magic that can be inside of, of us.
00:01:56.260 People don't know it.
00:01:59.220 You know, sometimes you just, you can't judge a vegetable by its, by its cover, really.
00:02:06.300 You really, really can't.
00:02:08.400 Let's go.
00:02:09.120 Let's go.
00:02:09.180 And we don't even have any intro music today.
00:02:15.520 Because why?
00:02:16.600 I forgot my computer, and that's how we do it.
00:02:19.720 We hook it up, and, and I forgot it.
00:02:24.200 I just got back in from Sacramento and, and Las Vegas.
00:02:27.740 And today's episode, though, I gotta tell you, if your junk is getting kind of whiskery.
00:02:32.560 Sometimes, you pull down your pants, and you, you know, and you got you, you got that little, you know, the fellas, they got that, that, they got that, that, it looked like a little, um, anteater.
00:02:48.160 They got that anteater, and it starts to get a little, like it's been, um, hiding in the woods.
00:02:52.840 It gets a little mangy.
00:02:54.360 You got, you got a lot of hair, a lot of whiskers.
00:02:56.520 Looks like you, like your wiener's been kind of going to see fish concerts, or maybe eating grill and cheese, and, and I love a grill and cheese.
00:03:05.780 And if you haven't had one of these, just, my God, it's like somebody just took two squares of bread, and just, just, it's like the Lord just licked each square of bread, and just, and just put them bad little bastards together.
00:03:25.100 And if you put two beautiful pieces of bread together long enough, bruh, they do that, they make that grill and cheese in between them.
00:03:34.220 But yeah, sometimes your wiener, if you haven't taken care of it, it looks like a, it looks like it's, you know, been out in the yard, it looks like it hasn't been doing stuff.
00:03:42.020 You know, you gotta manicure it.
00:03:44.320 And that's why, uh, support for this past weekend comes from Manscaped.
00:03:49.500 Manscaped is number one in men's below-the-belt grooming.
00:03:53.860 Look, you don't want to take off your, uh, pants, and it's, you know, and your area looks like a, like a bunch, you know, like the, like somebody hadn't hired somebody to do any maintenance.
00:04:06.860 You know, sometimes you'll see a guy, he trimmed one of it, you know, one half of his junk, and the other half, you know, looks like a damn riverbank.
00:04:15.460 And you're like, what?
00:04:17.220 They even got a couple trout lines coming off of it.
00:04:19.720 That's not the way to do it, fellas.
00:04:21.240 So, Manscaped offers precision-engineered tools for your family jewels.
00:04:28.140 Uh, and I, and look, they got a beautiful, they got this one tool, it's called the, um, the plow.
00:04:33.620 And the plow, you can really, oh, man.
00:04:37.100 Oh, my lord, lord, lord, lord.
00:04:41.140 I mean, you feel like an indentured servant out there just whacking these hairs away.
00:04:44.860 It's real, real medieval.
00:04:48.540 Manscaped is forever changing the grooming game with their Perfect Package 2.0.
00:04:54.620 Inside the Perfect Package, you'll find their electric trimmer called the Lawn Mower 2.0.
00:05:00.920 Now, 99% of the time I say, as I always do, do not put a lawn mower near your nuts and near your body.
00:05:11.820 You know, don't mow in the yard with your pants down.
00:05:14.600 That's brave as hell.
00:05:16.020 If you see somebody mowing naked with a push mower, don't call the cops, man.
00:05:22.200 Pop some champagne because as a man having your nuts out that close to a spinning blade, I mean, there's, you're chance Armstrong right there because you're taking a real, you're really putting the opportunity, a risky opportunity on the line.
00:05:42.340 But the Lawn Mower 2.0, it's waterproof, it's skin-safe technology, it'll protect you from nicking your sack.
00:05:53.820 You can also create less mess by trimming in the shower.
00:05:56.980 Now, that's beautiful.
00:05:58.260 A lot of things you can't use that.
00:06:00.060 You can't use, you know, that electrical deal in the shower.
00:06:05.020 So, let's not forget about the Crop Preserver.
00:06:07.740 It's an anti-chafing ball deodorant and moisturizer.
00:06:12.340 Because you want that soft batch.
00:06:14.660 You don't want to show up with them, you know, them chips ahoy's really, them hard, them, you know, a couple moles on your balls.
00:06:23.300 You want them, you want that soft batch.
00:06:25.880 So, you got to moisturize that bag.
00:06:28.480 And, of course, let's not forget about that Crop Preserver.
00:06:31.120 You already put deodorant on your armpits.
00:06:33.060 Why are you not putting deodorant around your newts, bruh?
00:06:36.040 It's time to get clean with the Perfect Package 2.0.
00:06:39.280 Get 20% off from Manscaped.
00:06:41.440 And free shipping with the code THEO, T-H-E-O, at Manscaped.com.
00:06:48.180 Always use the right tools for the job.
00:06:50.820 Your balls will thank you.
00:06:53.100 Get 20% off and free shipping with the code THEO at Manscaped.com.
00:06:58.160 That's 20% off with free shipping at Manscaped.com.
00:07:01.280 And I'll do a thing.
00:07:03.000 I'll bend over because a lot of hair will gather kind of between my legs, almost along that back strap.
00:07:12.000 And if you ever died in a plane crash, something that a lot of people would eat or cook off of you is that area, sadly, between, you know, that B-hole, that back jaw, and your nuts.
00:07:26.220 And the baseline of your nutsack.
00:07:28.000 Where your nuts really just kind of start where, because really your nuts just, at the top of your nutsack is just your body.
00:07:36.540 So they, you know, your body just kind of turns into your nuts.
00:07:41.940 But anyway, what I'm saying, I think, Jesus, I don't even know, is that I get down there and they'll have a whole bunch of hair.
00:07:51.380 We'll get right there and I'll get right there with that, with the different tools that they offer at Manscaped and really clean up my package.
00:07:58.460 Especially if you're going through a divorce, you're single, you know, you're somebody, you know, you were seeing somebody that are in a coma now, you got to get back out there.
00:08:08.220 So freshen up your batch, you know.
00:08:15.080 But yeah, isn't that interesting about corn?
00:08:17.520 You would never think it if you look at it.
00:08:20.920 You would never think the magic that could be in there.
00:08:24.220 You would never.
00:08:25.040 And man, I go to, you know, we've been going to the children's, Ronald McDonald Children's Center and doing movie night on Tuesday nights.
00:08:35.000 And man, seeing all the kids, they handicapped some of them and they got, you know, IVs going on their arms and, you know, and some of them are, you know, their body, they have a deformity.
00:08:49.080 But man, you break that popcorn out, man.
00:08:52.500 And they, some of them don't even have a full finger, five fingers and they, but they, they suddenly every hand looks the same when they're reaching for that magic.
00:09:04.240 But you don't know a man, you don't know the magic that's in a kernel, man.
00:09:07.720 And people don't know the magic that's inside of us or inside of you.
00:09:11.540 They don't know it.
00:09:12.480 But I believe that we all have something special in us.
00:09:17.340 You know, I'm feeling, I'm feeling pretty good, man.
00:09:19.360 I had some good shows this weekend.
00:09:21.860 Just got back from Las Vegas.
00:09:23.960 Literally just got back about an hour and a half ago.
00:09:26.700 And man, it was fun.
00:09:30.140 If you were at that show, whoo, people came out.
00:09:34.480 People came out.
00:09:35.780 People came out.
00:09:38.040 And we had a mother-daughter that came out.
00:09:40.400 This woman, Dorothy, and her and her daughter came out.
00:09:43.280 And man, it just really makes me feel good.
00:09:46.380 I see the, see some family connections.
00:09:50.060 You know, to just see a mother and daughter enjoying something together.
00:09:52.940 And even though it happens to be my comedy or that they're, or my, you know, I'm part of their evening.
00:09:58.560 Just to see them doing something special together and caring about each other.
00:10:03.240 It makes me feel good, man.
00:10:05.540 It makes me feel like I'm on the right track.
00:10:08.840 That we're on the right track.
00:10:11.280 By doing this, this little, this group that we're doing.
00:10:16.520 And we had a father, son, and mother come out and in Sacramento, the young guy is a, he's a, he does backflips and gravity defying activity.
00:10:30.120 You know, dark arts, I call it really.
00:10:33.480 You know, he worked, he does, he works on a scooter and does that kind of stuff.
00:10:37.780 And they came out.
00:10:39.100 We had a father, son that came out in Sacramento.
00:10:40.940 You know, you know, we had a guy who came up to me in Vegas and he said, hey man, you shouldn't, you got to stop being so hard on yourself.
00:10:50.420 And I really resonated with that guy just telling me that.
00:10:53.100 And people tell me that a lot and sometimes I can't hear it.
00:11:00.860 And that's kind of funny.
00:11:01.960 Isn't that funny?
00:11:02.520 Sometimes we can't hear, like 70 people will tell you the same thing.
00:11:06.120 But for some reason on the 53rd time, there's, somebody kind of breaks through whatever's going on with you and, and you're in a moment where you're, you're able to accept it.
00:11:20.660 And I had a little bit of that, man.
00:11:22.820 And, and I just, yeah, I woke up this morning thinking, you know, what if everything's okay?
00:11:28.520 What if I quit this little dirty circle in my head?
00:11:32.240 And everything's just okay.
00:11:33.700 Man, that made me really feel good.
00:11:36.480 And, but yeah, a lot of great people want to thank everybody that came out, uh, in Sacramento over there and, and in, um, Las Vegas.
00:11:48.520 And, and Las Vegas, man, they had some real drunks out there, boy.
00:11:54.400 They had one dude at the end of the night.
00:11:56.900 He was, uh, they had like a little in the hotel.
00:12:00.960 It's probably about 2 a.m.
00:12:02.120 They had a, I don't know what it was.
00:12:07.020 It was like a, well, he thought it was a wishing well.
00:12:11.700 And it wasn't.
00:12:12.600 It was like a, um, just a, like a, like a wall where they had some water going down it.
00:12:20.040 And it was like a, like just, you know, part of the scenery in the casino.
00:12:24.100 They, you know, sometimes you'll go over a little bridge and, and this dude's sitting there just making wishes off this bitch.
00:12:29.340 I was like, dang, bruh.
00:12:31.700 That ain't even, that's just a, you know, that's just a, that's just like some design and shit.
00:12:39.080 You wishing on, what are you wishing for, bucko?
00:12:42.020 So, anyway, I forgot my computer.
00:12:46.680 That's what happens.
00:12:47.880 Here we are.
00:12:49.880 Um, here we are.
00:12:53.420 What else?
00:12:54.300 What else happened this weekend?
00:12:56.740 Oh, oh, my back went out.
00:12:59.680 I had to go to urgent care.
00:13:00.760 Literally, right when I got home, I drove straight to urgent care, man.
00:13:05.320 My back, this morning, I'm putting my shoe on.
00:13:07.340 Next thing you know.
00:13:09.880 Looked like somebody yelled freeze.
00:13:11.500 Remember freeze tag?
00:13:13.820 Somebody yelled freeze and you just had to stop?
00:13:16.480 From the waist up, that's what I was doing.
00:13:19.400 Just buckled down, boy.
00:13:22.720 Just buckled down.
00:13:26.220 Um, yeah.
00:13:28.800 And that was it, man.
00:13:29.660 Everything's pretty cool.
00:13:30.800 Everything's pretty chill.
00:13:32.720 Uh, I think, but I'm going to need some help.
00:13:37.380 I don't have my computer this episode, so we're going to get Nick in here.
00:13:40.600 Um, our lovely producer, uh, premature Nick's going to come in so he can, uh, help talk about the questions and things like that.
00:13:48.640 And, uh, and we'll just have a little change of pace for today.
00:13:51.320 Uh, we got Sebastian Maniscalco coming in, uh, as a guest this week.
00:13:56.400 Man, that guy, he's so Italian, isn't he?
00:13:59.020 Uh-ка, uh-ka.
00:14:01.820 That's what he says all the time.
00:14:03.540 Uh-ka, uh-ka.
00:14:05.860 No, that's not it.
00:14:06.880 Uh-ka, uh-ka.
00:14:10.680 Um, dude, I was thinking they should have more animals, right?
00:14:14.520 how many animals do they have 70 animals like that's sometimes my that's one of my issues with
00:14:22.640 god is bruh bake another batch daddy you know you got all the capabilities you got
00:14:30.420 you know i'd love to see like kind of a unicorn that has uh wi-fi in its horn that's got that
00:14:39.680 fucking hard hitter on the top that router wouldn't that be great you can't get wi-fi but
00:14:45.940 suddenly one of these u-corns shows up and dude think about a unicorn that's another thing you
00:14:53.620 don't notice how much magic is in it that's another type of corn if dude imagine the first
00:15:01.980 unicorn walks up you know somebody shot that bitch down bro you know what i'm saying
00:15:08.640 i mean and no offense man but somebody really pop that cat down boy if you saw a unicorn show up
00:15:17.580 you'd be like damn boy i mean there's no way you couldn't think this horse is trying to fuck boy
00:15:26.320 this horse is trying to in my butt you know this horse is into the dark arts there's no way you
00:15:34.580 couldn't think that but it's interesting how much magic is in a unicorn they're probably top six magic
00:15:42.160 animals i think anyway if you had to think about it um i don't even know what we're talking about
00:15:48.480 uh but yeah imagine that first unicorn rolls up do you sitting there with your buddy maybe you guys
00:15:55.180 are having a couple garbanzo beans or you know trying to get rid of yellow fever or whatever i don't
00:16:01.660 know i don't even know what year it was when they showed up and next thing you know this bad
00:16:07.120 bitch rolls up with that by the hell with that freaking that top piece baby a unicorn is basically
00:16:17.020 like a shark it's like the shark of horses and but they got magic in them you never know how much
00:16:26.580 magic is in a unicorn by looking at it you just think damn this horse is really honestly probably
00:16:32.260 trying to meet some local men
00:16:35.260 you know we're trying to do or trying to pick a lock or something
00:16:40.460 or what else are trying to just you know push a button on an elevator or
00:16:45.800 what else i don't even know what a horse would do with that horn on its head
00:16:50.520 you know hang out just maybe hang laundry but like just one shirt
00:16:55.340 but you don't realize when you see that unicorn how much how much power is in them and how much magic
00:17:02.400 full of magic you just don't know man people don't know they don't know the magic that we might have
00:17:07.820 inside of ourselves they really really don't know uh let's get nick in here because i need some help
00:17:12.940 getting through this episode sometimes we need some help and i don't like asking for help uh
00:17:17.900 you know i don't like it i don't like asking for help man i don't like i like to do stuff myself
00:17:26.180 but i can't do that every day bro and i'm not gonna do it right now i'm gonna keep the vibe going
00:17:33.620 we got a good vibe we're cruising it's monday you're here i'm here they had an earthquake in bali i saw on twitter
00:17:43.400 so imagine that let's shake shit up bro mother nature's out there making that mixed cocktail
00:17:51.680 bro she's shaking it up let's see what we can do uh we'll be right back um actually uh nick you want
00:17:58.980 to come on in premature nick what's going on i'm on time yeah you're on time brother how are you
00:18:05.740 good good i'm chilling yeah i was uh how was your trip it was it was good man it was fast and it was
00:18:12.160 good it was one show a night so it's a little bit of a different vibe like less pressure to like
00:18:17.520 hurry up and get for this get to the second show regroup yeah yeah yeah it was time to regroup
00:18:23.540 um but yeah it was good man it was a good experience man yeah man thanks for stepping in
00:18:29.420 dude i'm sorry i forgot my computer it's all good it's all good we got multiple here so
00:18:33.680 yeah good man uh yeah let's get into some of the calls and um and then if you have some news
00:18:37.700 stuff let's let's uh change the vibe a little bit today cool cool uh yeah this first one uh we
00:18:43.320 had a couple people calling about this the sacramento sound like the sacramento people got a little
00:18:47.000 rowdy oh yeah yeah they had a couple um well here they got a call yep all right hey pio this is
00:18:56.120 tony from sacramento big tony show big tony thank you for calling in this and tony short for
00:19:03.200 anthony i guess what else you think big tony maybe those are pretty much antonio antonio yep
00:19:12.760 there you go spanish tony um onward i was at your show last night at your later show last night
00:19:19.420 and man i just don't feel very good about my city we were kind of rude to you i think
00:19:25.000 and um i know you had to tell like like five people to shut up and it was distracting and
00:19:32.880 i had one of the balcony seats and throughout the whole show there wasn't a single time when anyone
00:19:39.520 was just sitting down and trying to and just watching the show trying to enjoy it at any
00:19:44.420 different point for the whole damn thing dude there was like at least two or three people milling about
00:19:50.660 if not more it was distracting and it was hard to enjoy your show and if it was distracting for me
00:19:56.980 i can only imagine how distracting it was for you so we were not very nice to you that that night and
00:20:04.160 uh i want to apologize man and i hope you still want to come back and see us yeah man well look i
00:20:11.260 appreciate the call yeah that's the friday night show that was there was yeah some guy was yelling
00:20:16.620 he kept yelling out at one point he's yelling i think at like one of his wives or something i don't
00:20:21.880 know what was going on he might have been saudi arabian and they carry a couple wives like you'll
00:20:27.360 ask a saudi like a saudi arabian guy reaching his pocket and fucking accidentally drop a couple wives
00:20:31.820 out you know um but you know what i did notice that there were constantly people just walking around
00:20:37.980 i mean sacramento also let's be honest dude it's got that sort of a lot of missing people kind of
00:20:44.940 you know like a lot of a lot of missing people are in sacramento so i'm amazed sometimes and more
00:20:53.080 people don't know that so if you're missing somebody go there and that's where they are
00:20:58.800 i mean it's a lot of people you've seen on posters and stuff they're in sacramento missing animal
00:21:05.000 sacramento can't find my has anybody seen my wallet sacramento it's all there man um and i just feel
00:21:13.100 bad for the people that's at the show that's trying to enjoy themselves you know that's the
00:21:17.620 part that gets me a little bit but but uh but thank you for the call man you know it gets
00:21:21.900 what i don't what makes it tough for me is that i want people to enjoy the show and so if somebody's
00:21:32.720 all wasted and they're just acting like a donkey then that really it doesn't help so i'm trying to
00:21:40.360 keep the show kind of undonkeyed and keep it tight but i appreciate the call tony even though that guy
00:21:46.140 said that and there were a couple other people that called in about some of the rowdy members in the
00:21:51.200 crowd everybody said they still like really enjoyed the show and you killed and it didn't affect their
00:21:57.040 time this guy he was in the balcony a little further away but most people said they just had
00:22:01.420 an amazing time it's still a great show they're just like some people can't act right gang yeah you
00:22:06.860 know it's funny and i think we learn that as we go along it's like you know somebody always can't
00:22:12.880 act right and that is why it's like and that but that's just what it is you know and i got to learn
00:22:19.140 also to just vibe better with it you know i can't control everything that's going to happen and some
00:22:24.680 people just aren't going to act right sometimes fortunately we were able to you know some of the
00:22:28.960 people to toss them out and then get back uh and then get the wheels back going but what's tough
00:22:34.980 for me is that there's a good flow to the show and if it's really flowing and somebody gets really
00:22:38.940 donkied out then it you know it kind of kicks the whole show in the ass a little so but thank you for
00:22:45.020 your call tony i appreciate it man um here's a patreon question actually this along the same lines
00:22:52.520 and this is kara she said how do you keep yourself amped up for your tour performances when you're doing
00:22:58.980 the same thing so often so many times for different people gang uh thank you kara uh for your support
00:23:06.120 on patreon and and for this question um you know it's been tough and i've actually been talking to
00:23:14.540 other comedians about it you know i was talking to sebastian maniscalco about it the other day
00:23:19.060 and uh and just asking him you know how do you keep the material fresh and because i was having
00:23:29.080 some trouble with it a little bit this year especially the shows in new york city i was
00:23:33.220 really just burnt out like i don't want to just get up there and be like a record player or something
00:23:38.560 that just kind of starts and just goes through the stuff you know i want to be in the moment i want
00:23:44.620 it to be kind of feel like a new experience for the people and uh and and and i just got reminded
00:23:51.200 of that actually the past two weeks i just started thinking man i you know i have to have fun in what
00:23:55.800 i'm doing you know and i've noticed that for myself over this year even just sometimes i'm just not
00:24:03.760 enjoying it but it's just because i'm not making that choice like i it's up to me if i have fun or not
00:24:08.540 that's up to me you know life's gonna throw curveballs and sliders and sometimes it's gonna
00:24:15.840 run up it's just gonna run all the way from the pitcher's mound and just put a ball right in your
00:24:20.000 ass dude not even a pitch like what is that but it's like it's it's how i i choose how i meet the
00:24:30.120 world and it's almost the same thing for these shows it's like i choose if i if i just get caught up
00:24:36.940 and letting things just run in a circle and i don't try to show up and just recognize hey
00:24:42.300 tonight is a new experience we could have a new joke come out of this evening we could have a new
00:24:47.700 moment we can embrace what's going on we could talk about what's happening in the city um like i
00:24:55.420 actually started off the show i didn't realize this in vegas with you know ari had went up before me
00:25:00.900 and there was another real funny young fella named bruce that went up and i was like man it's nice to
00:25:06.280 have two white guys in a theater without guns huh and uh and it was funny it was crazy but i didn't
00:25:12.360 even realize it but it got a big laugh out of the beginning and it got everybody kind of in the vibe
00:25:17.000 and i didn't know that was going to happen that i was going to say that um but some of the stories i
00:25:22.920 just try and keep my attitude open like hey like like i'm telling it to a friend for the first time
00:25:28.240 hey let me have fun telling this because even though it's maybe the hundredth time i've told some of
00:25:33.080 them this is the first time you're going to hear it and so if i make it not about myself and i make
00:25:38.220 it about the people that are there you know hey this is their first time to hear this um that helps
00:25:44.820 now with that said it does get hard to do it over and over again it gets hard some jokes it's like
00:25:50.540 the punchline and almost it's like screeching out of you don't even want it to you don't even want
00:25:55.540 to say it what was some of the advice from sebastian oh sebastian's suggesting that you kind of
00:26:02.200 change it off okay he's like you know move it on change it doing it i don't even that's what
00:26:11.020 that was his whole advice what did you say bro it's like
00:26:15.080 so sebastian the other day told me he was taking adult swim lessons
00:26:22.100 and if i can blew my mind um but he'll be on here this week and i'm going to bring this
00:26:29.260 question back up with him kara nick if you'll remind me to help do that will do um let's take
00:26:35.080 another call what came in uh so last week we had the gentleman who called in uh he actually had two
00:26:40.740 voicemails the first one he was feeling pretty down feeling overwhelmed by all his student loans
00:26:44.680 he called in and uh said he had a better attitude about it but we got some some responses to your
00:26:50.620 advice to him to just like ride it out pay as low as he can keep lowering the payments um and we got
00:26:55.340 some responses to that okay cool yeah that's this is pretty uh i'm curious to see what some people
00:26:59.860 thought thanks here's the first one what up theo this is tyler from birmingham alabama
00:27:06.240 gang gang brother i'll see you next week man august 15th that's the start on so looking forward to
00:27:13.940 that but uh anyway i just wanted to call about the guy who had a who was kind of down on himself
00:27:20.460 about the student loan debt you had some good points um a couple things that i've heard one
00:27:30.000 student loan debt is the best line of credit to have so you know it's not a bad thing to have on your
00:27:36.320 on your credit line and you can make the minimum payments you don't there's no timeline in order to
00:27:41.820 pay it back and i have a old friend that told me one time that uh you know if you if you die before
00:27:49.020 you pay it all back then you win so i mean no rush to pay all that shit back
00:27:54.660 that's hilarious dude yeah that's a goal man look bro if that's the case go get your masters buddy
00:28:04.000 bear um that's a good suggestion what do you think about that nick yeah i mean i'm kind of
00:28:11.380 of two minds like it it doesn't hurt your credit score it's not going to hurt you like getting a
00:28:16.820 house or whatever but part of me is like oh you took out an agreement you should work to pay it back
00:28:23.700 even we look at as like the government oh they're not going to miss it but still like just part of me
00:28:28.800 is like you should honor your debts yeah wow man it's very um i haven't been doing it
00:28:37.440 ned stark of you very ned stark move when it comes to uh well you haven't been doing it though
00:28:42.960 yeah yeah i've been doing the whole push it off push it off i mean it was always i would do the
00:28:48.100 things they they look at your income so they'll lower your payments and i've been doing doing that
00:28:52.060 whole thing but now that now i'd like to start shipping away at at least or at least make the
00:28:57.320 regular minimum payments to get on some type of foreseeable plan where it's getting paid off but i
00:29:03.060 would feel like an idiot if they get wept away yeah i mean companies do you know it is interesting
00:29:07.900 how we all think or sometimes we think like yeah just because it's a big company or it's the
00:29:12.740 government it's like we don't really owe them it's almost like this invisible thing it just keeps
00:29:17.140 war that will just keep working um and that yeah we don't think sometimes like that we made this
00:29:23.520 agreement like we clicked on the square or whatever and filled it in and then said submit
00:29:28.140 and you're using whatever they gave us or you know and then and then we when it comes to a later
00:29:37.300 where it's like oh fuck it's like almost so it will we forget that with that yeah we we put our name
00:29:42.020 on the line you know that we have some integrity in it um it's interesting man i definitely could say
00:29:48.460 that over my life i remember the first cell phone bill ever got it was for like seven thousand dollars
00:29:53.780 right i didn't realize you couldn't just use your phone as much as you wanted i thought i got this
00:29:57.500 bitch man i had 100 minutes dude okay like 100 minutes when cell phones came out it was just
00:30:05.540 enough minutes to really realize you don't you you cannot afford a cell phone man every call you had
00:30:12.600 to be like hey it was almost like you were in that movie where you have like uh there's like a timer
00:30:16.580 and it's gonna blow up or something so it was like uh every call that came in you'd have to try and get
00:30:21.980 it remember do you remember that you still like right at about 50 seconds you'd be looking like all right
00:30:25.420 man we gotta my first cell phone plan i was late to the game because i had to pay for my own cell
00:30:29.580 phone high school was um was unlimited they had already moved into those type type plans it was
00:30:35.880 it was the benefit of waiting but yeah i mean my grandma was always worried about her minutes uh man
00:30:40.280 she would nights and weekends that that's what you yeah nights and weekends boy they'd be like look
00:30:47.200 man i can't call you till after 9 p.m so if you had a friend that was in any other time zone as a kid
00:30:53.300 you was fucked you was not friends anymore did you before cell phones uh play the collect call
00:30:59.320 game um i would i would have to collect call to go get picked up and uh yes i'd be at the y and be
00:31:06.080 like it's nick i'm done and my grandma would come and pick me up 15 minutes later yeah man that was
00:31:12.480 awesome that was always a good move and the movie theater game like they had to click over
00:31:17.460 so how if i was gonna have if i was gonna have a girl call me back late at night i would say okay
00:31:23.140 you know at about 9 20 i'm gonna call a movie theater line because they had like a 40 minute
00:31:29.220 message on there and it was like now showing this weekend at seven uh the bodyguard starring
00:31:35.860 whitney houston and kevin costner showtimes are monday through friday 5 p.m and 7 p.m saturday matinee
00:31:43.320 2 p.m and 4 30 p.m saturday and sunday evening 5 7 and 9 p.m then it would be like now showing in
00:31:51.880 uh theater two and then it would go on to the next movie you know land before time wow this young
00:31:59.300 dinosaur doesn't know what's going to occur starring the voices of you know lou diamond phillips and it
00:32:05.400 would just keep going so it'd be like a 40 minute message so if you had that call waiting then you could
00:32:10.520 hear someone calling you the beep and it wouldn't ring in your house gotcha so it'd be like all right
00:32:15.500 i'm just gonna call the movie theater in hopes you called now sometimes your girl would fall asleep
00:32:20.880 you know because bitches be resting everybody knows that dude if you go looking at nine bitches
00:32:26.540 probably about two of them's resting so then you just heard the entire movie schedule three or four
00:32:31.540 times and then in my in my dreams that night it was just the background loop it was just just
00:32:38.000 me eating popcorn you know um what was this question what was this about uh he was just kind
00:32:44.240 of reiterating your sentiment about the student loans uh just yeah keep dragging it out yeah keep
00:32:50.320 dragging it out that's a good but also yeah the the thing we forget so though sometimes that yeah we
00:32:55.300 made a deal you know we did make a deal um man big companies do get kind of fuck everybody just
00:33:01.440 thinks they can fuck them but they also fuck people every chance they get and probably probably goes
00:33:07.140 unnoticed but that doesn't mean we have to act like that right right yeah man it's it's a real
00:33:12.860 battle god i remember oh i remember i'd send letters to verizon i was like man fuck y'all bro
00:33:17.640 dude i remember sending pictures of me photographs of me with like this with my hands in the air
00:33:22.820 holding my pockets out like i have no money bro i owed seven thousand dollars dude
00:33:28.320 so and somebody oh i remember this was the worst somebody kept calling me from africa bro and i
00:33:37.680 don't know how they got my number i don't know how africa even got a phone at this point like i didn't
00:33:42.580 know they had even had a phone in africa but they kept calling me and i would get charged when i
00:33:48.780 answered it you know did you guys talk huh did you guys talk yeah sometimes but it was so hard to
00:33:53.640 know what was going on bro it's africa dude i mean africa is pretty wild and imagine africa on the
00:33:58.520 phone maybe it was that you know what i'm saying if africa calls bro i'm not saying don't answer bro
00:34:06.120 but you know maybe you know just maybe don't answer every time exactly uh let's take another call man
00:34:14.400 all right this one is uh who is listening oh good you're always asking who's listening
00:34:19.920 see yo my man it's your boy bo from indiana big bo indiana dude and that is uh that is
00:34:27.940 spanish for indian first of all and also beautiful place dude you know sort of hit or miss out there
00:34:36.480 in the middle of america do a lot of good people out there you know a lot of vaudeville used was in
00:34:41.900 indiana a lot of young they'd have children learning to juggle and do a lot of stunts a lot of stunt
00:34:47.880 people come out of that area it's a real stunt country so you know you'll see a fucking newborn
00:34:54.420 you know go back into its mama and try and get shot out of her you know i'm saying a lot of people
00:34:59.320 doing real kind of artsy stuff onward working that graveyard shift as a county deputy trying to
00:35:05.360 fight that crime that gr baby shoot them want to thank you for your entertainment during my
00:35:11.560 downtime man it gets kind of slow out here i've also been tuning in to king and sting
00:35:16.580 your boy brendan isn't too bad of a fellow man you guys make a good combo thank you kind of reminds
00:35:21.480 me of a nick jonas that that stopped taking atipex you feel me who's that nick jonas
00:35:26.540 yeah nick jonas that stopped taking atipex yeah i'm not sure oh he looks like him i see what you're
00:35:34.060 saying yeah yeah brendan has a very rare rare look man one of the best things i ever heard about
00:35:39.360 brendan i read this on uh on comments somewhere brendan looks like the kind of guy that rides with
00:35:45.020 both of his legs off the same side of a horse
00:35:47.340 that was good i like the one at one of the first roast my host on king of the sting one of the
00:35:57.020 segments uh you guys do on that show it was he looks like a puerto rican baseball coach that's
00:36:01.660 always flexing his ass at their face or whatever
00:36:03.800 bro brendan has some tight pants dude bro i've seen that dude whisper into his pants before so you know
00:36:13.740 there's something hectic going on um thank you thank you for your service out there deputy and i think
00:36:19.240 look man nighttime middle of the night after 2 a.m to 4 a.m you guys should get a couple of free bullets
00:36:25.840 out there you know what i'm saying pop off a couple times right you know because here's the
00:36:31.120 thing if you shoot a bullet up in the air in the distance and it just hits some of that's on the
00:36:37.340 lord bro you know if it hits somebody man indian and roulette yeah that indiana roulette baby pop
00:36:45.700 off daddy stay safe out there brother uh and thank you uh for the call dude i was thinking before you
00:36:52.400 came in here man i was talking i was thinking about potential do you whenever you're growing up did
00:36:56.780 you feel like you had a lot of potential nick or what what does potential mean if i think about that
00:37:00.820 what does it mean yeah just the ability to do more than what you're currently doing
00:37:08.960 kind of and uh i i always thought i did um yeah i was always really unsure of what i was gonna try
00:37:17.180 but like i just felt like when i compared myself to other people i was just like i'm better
00:37:22.260 or i like i'm not better but i would see people in positions where they are i was like well i could
00:37:27.320 do that kind of at least right uh because that's a good point i could do that at least right so i
00:37:34.380 have potential to do that maybe more than that or something yeah or an advanced state of that
00:37:39.420 yeah i've been thinking i was thinking about potential earlier
00:37:42.460 and just like where does like potential come from or what is it you know
00:37:47.860 um we'll look it up will you mind looking it up potential i'm gonna think about it real quick
00:37:54.840 uh yeah i guess the a bit you could because people that's one thing that people i mean i guess people
00:38:03.840 can recognize your potential people say that a lot you know or you know you'll hear that term
00:38:09.560 uh recognize your potential oh what does it say brother having or showing the capacity to become
00:38:17.540 or develop into something in the future yeah because i was thinking about popcorn at the beginning of
00:38:23.720 this and how you don't know think about that dude popcorn you would never guess it's in there
00:38:27.540 you would never guess it dude if you looked at it if you looked at a corn
00:38:33.780 bro and you wrote down 200 things that could be in there none of them would be popcorn
00:38:41.580 all the things i wrote down would be smaller than what's in that right so that's kind of potential
00:38:47.240 you know yeah man i guess that you know what's funny i guess i see potential in people i guess if
00:38:53.460 you see if you if it's really kind of cool if you can see if you do see if you see potential in
00:38:59.140 somebody that's kind of like a neat way to look at people i think i'm i don't do it all the time
00:39:04.540 for sure i forget about it a lot but looking for somebody's potential um yeah i wonder if you have
00:39:14.660 i wonder if potential is something that other people have to say oh i feel like you have potential
00:39:19.040 or if somebody tells you that it definitely makes you feel good yeah that's a big compliment or that's
00:39:24.100 a big thing because it makes you feel motivated that you can do more i think a lot of potential
00:39:31.160 is mindset and you can get that mindset from like other people reinforcing it telling you and then
00:39:38.180 you're like oh i can do this and so then you give an attempt at it but like if you don't i think
00:39:43.360 that's why like there's kind of like a malaise in like poor neighborhoods or whatever people don't
00:39:48.280 think they have the potential to escape but when someone from their area ends up succeeding
00:39:53.700 they're they see oh that's possible for me too and it opens up a world of possibilities yeah
00:39:58.140 yeah that potential when you see somebody doing something and it makes you feel like oh i can do
00:40:05.800 that i could be that guy yeah it almost ignites a part of you that's um i wonder if in the future
00:40:12.620 there'll be a medicine that or something that that makes your potential kind of flare up you know
00:40:18.420 or just remind you that you have it i guess i need to just remember that just try and notice
00:40:24.060 people's potential more um yeah i don't think i do a good job of that sometimes i think i could
00:40:30.720 probably do better because i think if you let people know man you have a lot of potential you
00:40:34.300 know i really see this potential and even call out things they do that that really makes people feel
00:40:38.840 good huh yeah you know when people do that i i've noticed just in my own life when people say that
00:40:43.880 especially like if an older person says that to you when you're younger and stuff man you have
00:40:48.060 so much you have so much potential you know i really see so much potential in you uh anyway
00:40:54.140 yeah i was just thinking about popcorn earlier um let me say this man internet privacy is basically
00:41:02.240 dead uh yeah i mean look at porn for instance did you know that the that the uk government passed a
00:41:08.860 law requiring you to hand over your id before you can access porn sites oh jesus you're fucked
00:41:16.000 nick if you go abroad bro but here you're just watching fucking and you're still okay that's
00:41:22.080 right like your driver's license or passport dude that would be crazy if you had to put something on
00:41:26.080 the line every time you went to watch porn about a lot less people would do it um it's only a matter
00:41:31.440 of time before your government gets the same idea and what happens when your favorite porn site gets
00:41:36.300 hacked like ashley madison did all those names and ids will be floating around waiting to get
00:41:41.260 published on the web uh and i'm going to let everyone know right now that i've been on a decent
00:41:45.880 amount of porn sites not very much in the last year you know the dark arts have really quit drawing
00:41:51.460 themselves um in front of me in that in that area but i've definitely looked at some naughty stuff on
00:41:58.100 there you know certainly a lot of female on female a lot of butt stuff probably and even some double
00:42:04.760 butt and so i just want to let people know what i've done in case anything ever comes out
00:42:09.100 but what i'm saying right now is that you have to protect your internet usage with express vpn
00:42:15.780 accessing the internet with express vpn means the websites you visit won't know where you're coming
00:42:21.860 from they shield your identity express vpn is the best way to make your online activity anonymous
00:42:27.960 and it's the vpn provider that i trust to protect my data and i'll say this when i was in when i was
00:42:33.940 in china i had to use a vpn to access uh the internet to access sites that i wanted to um to sneak
00:42:41.020 around so the government didn't see you trying to do it so you couldn't get in trouble um you can use
00:42:46.600 express vpn every time you go online and you should download the express vpn app on your computer
00:42:52.840 or phone push one button and voila you're protected for less than seven dollars a month you can get the
00:42:59.240 same express vpn protection that i have express vpn is rated the number one vpn service by tech radar
00:43:06.940 and comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee it's definitely time um i mean i worry a lot of times
00:43:13.260 nick it's like i'll think man here they go i do i know that years from now all of our truth is going
00:43:20.580 to come out like the things we look at you know the things we've seen the things we've googled
00:43:25.140 jeepers man you know jeepers man i mean i i should do one day just all the things that i've googled
00:43:34.020 and how i feel about them now um it's time to stop big brother and surveillance of your online
00:43:39.540 activity protect yourself today and find out how you can get three months free at expressvpn.com
00:43:45.620 slash theo that's e-x-p-r-e-s-s v-p-n dot com slash t-h-e-o for three free months with a one-year
00:43:56.640 package visit expressvpn.com slash theo to learn more
00:44:02.680 also if you're hiring people it used to be hard multiple job sites all these resumes what is this
00:44:12.600 this resume has coffee on it it's a confusing review process but today hiring can be easy
00:44:19.460 and you only have to go to one place to get it zip recruiter.com slash tpw so nick if you ever
00:44:27.680 don't work here anymore that's where i'm gonna go find someone nice pretty cool huh yeah i bet you
00:44:31.720 can find someone really quick well yeah probably not as good as you though man thanks you see potential
00:44:36.840 yeah dude yeah sometimes i do i should probably express that to you more uh zip recruiter sends
00:44:42.500 your job to over 100 of the web's leading job boards but they don't stop there with their powerful
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00:45:06.560 four out of five employers who post on zip recruiter get a quality candidate through the site within the
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00:45:19.580 zip recruiter.com slash tpw that's zip recruiter.com slash tpw zip recruiter the smartest way to hire
00:45:30.320 man i almost wanted to get some cocaine in las vegas bro that's the place god i felt like you ever
00:45:38.420 walk past one of those places and they're cooking fudge in there and they put it on the counter and
00:45:42.640 they like cut it up and there's like somebody's back there by a big kettle i'm like they should
00:45:48.360 have one of those but for cocaine like what you can walk by in vegas yeah i don't even know the
00:45:52.680 process of cocaine it'd be educational too would be cool huh yeah and they're back there just listening
00:45:57.140 to some music beans don't burn on the grill it took a whole lot of trying just to get up that hill
00:46:05.900 uh yeah man i'm i'm i feel pretty fortunate i fought the desire though yeah glad you didn't
00:46:12.220 damn bro i still just want that white monkey to climb up into my fucking face bro but um anyhow
00:46:18.860 what else yeah this week i'll be in uh in memphis and a lot of shows man memphis birmingham atlanta
00:46:27.620 louisville and somewhere else i don't even know that's a crazy thing memphis thursday friday saturday
00:46:36.240 i don't even know it's like 10 shows this week all across the south land um i'm definitely fired up
00:46:43.720 i think almost everything's sold out except for the second show in biloxi in uh in birmingham
00:46:48.040 uh do you think i recognize your potential nick or not yeah be honest man i think so i mean
00:46:55.940 i think just in the position you gave me i mean there's you need the potential to be able to do
00:47:02.500 do it so yeah i think so and we talk about future plans and some of the stuff we can accomplish so yeah
00:47:08.860 that gives me uh encouragement that you see it into me yeah cool man yeah but yeah tell me more
00:47:17.100 how much potential i have come on uh let me think man i think um i think you i think you definitely
00:47:26.640 exceeded my expectations oh thank you thank you and i don't mean that in a bad way or anything
00:47:31.980 you know uh but yeah i mean i think there's times yeah you definitely exceed my expectations when i
00:47:41.320 know when i'm in a place of like feeling grateful i usually i'll often think man i'm grateful for nick
00:47:46.880 you know oh thanks man so the hard part for me sometimes is just getting in that place of gratitude
00:47:51.800 generally um but i think when you tell someone uh that they do have potential to there's part of them
00:48:00.640 like you on the receiving end of it you want to live up to that so it like makes you work harder
00:48:06.860 right like you're like oh he's i better i better live up to those expectations or or thoughts he has
00:48:12.820 so you work harder so yeah um just in general telling that to people can help yeah yeah yeah i could
00:48:21.860 see that yeah i can see that's probably how like why some teachers are good and stuff like that
00:48:26.800 because when they make a student feel that way i think sometimes you just don't know like what's
00:48:32.580 you know sometimes you but sometimes a teacher could say that a million times you could say it
00:48:38.060 for years and none of them ever kind of cracked the surface it just doesn't land and then every now
00:48:42.600 and then you'll it's just it's almost like it has to be a certain matchup too between two people
00:48:46.940 and time you know when it when it really when you're willing to hear it as well and it really lands
00:48:52.680 on you and you get inspired um i think also uh one thing we've done and i think it's like each other
00:49:00.560 pushing each other this podcast keeps evolving in a number of ways because we're always it doesn't
00:49:05.800 have to be the same week to week and i think that's that's part of it yeah no well that's i mean that's
00:49:11.680 good to hear because i know yeah it's like um yeah i think sometimes i i want to like try things
00:49:19.300 different i get like a little bit afraid i guess um but yeah i think yeah there is some evolution you
00:49:24.280 know we've moved to some different studios um you know we've taken you know it's a lot of times
00:49:31.640 where i'll just take your suggestion i feel like uh do you ever feel like you can't make suggestions
00:49:35.940 and stuff never that's that's an awesome thing about working in this environment yeah we can
00:49:40.900 say whatever they sometimes they're used sometimes they're not but i mean with this
00:49:44.920 whole studio like our layout and stuff we we went back and forth and it became
00:49:49.280 it's a mishmash of both our our kind of visions for it yeah yeah that's true huh it's taken a little
00:49:55.380 bit longer than i thought uh it's been a learning process for me just kind of a project management
00:49:59.920 like because like basically what's holding us up now we've got construction people ready to go
00:50:04.700 put put in cords but i'm trying to talk to engineers who are taking longer than i thought
00:50:08.640 and and in the future that stuff before we even got the contractor in here i would have had
00:50:13.560 everything finished and that's like what's holding us up at the moment but i mean we're
00:50:18.020 still functional but i want to be like plug and play yeah and it would make my job easier because
00:50:22.820 we're moving stuff back and forth for the guest episodes to the solo episodes and stuff and
00:50:27.480 eventually it'll get a lot easier no that's good to hear man yeah i think uh
00:50:32.280 yeah it's um yeah it's been crazy in here man it's been definitely been unique i mean it's just
00:50:39.200 coming along it's just uh and you've done a lot of it man thank you very much no problem um
00:50:45.040 all right let's get into a couple more a couple more calls i'm sorry that i forgot the computer
00:50:49.420 today guys but i'm glad we have a little bit of a change of pace man it takes a little stress off of
00:50:53.760 me i've just been feeling stressed and uh you know and i know i say that all the time and
00:50:59.520 but some of it's just like you know once we started king in the sting and then you know
00:51:04.540 doing this past weekend twice a week sometimes with guests it's just a lot of output and then
00:51:09.580 in my head i started thinking man i'm boring people and there's nothing to talk about or um
00:51:14.700 so it's good to have a change of pace you know and it's good to have somebody in here and it's
00:51:19.560 interesting to talk about potential man it's interesting to talk about you know how you and
00:51:23.600 i interact too we've never really just i mean we discuss it some but yeah sometimes i feel like i
00:51:28.600 could do a better job i mean i know like sometimes i'll get pissed i'll wake up in the morning pissed
00:51:31.640 and the first person the only person that works for me is you so the only person i could fucking
00:51:36.100 take it out on is you um so i'm sure that gets stressful man how what's that like to deal with
00:51:42.780 i kind of have like a mantra i'm like don't let other people's mood affect mine like go in
00:51:50.980 just go in with the same attitude every day try to try to be positive and like work harder but like
00:51:55.840 like i said don't don't let other people's like energy mess up my energy come in positive and like
00:52:01.480 focused yeah and and just do that every day um kind of like you said you don't uh last week it was
00:52:07.740 all about expectations and stuff and like i can't have expectations for the people who work around me
00:52:11.660 i can just know if i'm doing my job sincerely i'm attempting the best i i can then i just gotta let
00:52:18.960 other stuff slide off my back yeah well thanks for letting it slide off your back sometimes man
00:52:23.260 i usually if i feel like i'm out of line i try to come back and i feel like i usually get around
00:52:27.720 pretty quick on like bringing it bringing that up yeah yeah and letting you know if i felt like i was
00:52:32.200 you know you know rude or you know um but yeah man you're just like the only person in my you know
00:52:39.820 you're the closest person in my life in some instances so you fucking gotta hear all the shit i feel you
00:52:44.640 but i don't know i i none of it is like i put myself in your shoes like your life over the past
00:52:52.480 18 months like it it's it's fucking it's wild like it's it's completely different you're like you're
00:52:58.380 gonna sell like 150 000 tickets or whatever this month like yeah this year or this year uh and
00:53:03.220 yeah that's crazy that that's a wild thought and like looking at your tour schedule for fall
00:53:09.000 it's wild and i'm sure just looking at what's ahead uh that is where the stress comes from not
00:53:16.440 as much as like what you're doing in the moment it's just knowing it's like a sisyphean battle
00:53:21.580 it's always uphill yeah yeah it's always yeah it's it's definitely been interesting and so then it's
00:53:27.120 just learning who i am in those spaces you know and learning like uh you know and learning that
00:53:32.800 there's some things i like about me in those in those as this things has gotten busier and
00:53:37.860 there's some things that i don't um you know one of the things though is sometimes with my mood the
00:53:43.720 mood that i wait you know when i get agitated if things are in a certain way and stuff but i
00:53:48.100 appreciate you putting up with me man no problem no problem i definitely i see a lot of your potential
00:53:51.940 man and um you know i know i'm fortunate to be able to work with you thanks brother i i feel
00:53:57.500 fortunate as well i think you have the potential to be the biggest comedy star in the world so thanks
00:54:02.480 man only going up you're gonna be selling out msg like uh sebastian what mottosonium glutamate
00:54:09.140 that's shit that's fucking killing asians bro you're gonna quit comedy and start selling chemicals
00:54:13.780 i could see that bro god that would be good dude just roll around with a big tank of it on the truck
00:54:20.800 come over here boy let me get a couple squirts of this under your tongue it sells itself yeah it
00:54:25.240 really does bro it's so good dude if you order just msg bro from israel or one of these other
00:54:30.400 places bro fuck the food man fuck the bok choy dog just put this shit under your tongue dog and
00:54:36.200 look for the lord um all right let's take another question or two man all right hey theo um my name
00:54:44.280 is sophia i was born with a condition that um affects every system of my body and i have been
00:54:53.460 chronically ill my entire life oh god i think i had that i think it was my mother actually when i was young
00:54:58.440 um and now it's just myself bothering every system on my body um i'm sorry to hear about that i
00:55:04.300 appreciate your call uh and thank you for sharing that with us what's going on and some of the main
00:55:10.140 symptoms are uh overwhelming sadness and anxiety and things that really keep me from being able to
00:55:17.000 socialize very well and uh i'm about to go to a concert and i i don't get out of the house much so
00:55:25.240 i uh i'm stressing being around people and i'm fearing judgment i i just watched
00:55:36.200 your podcast um where you talked about
00:55:39.900 thinking about what other people are thinking about you and
00:55:43.860 when i go out in public i had to i have to do a lot of things to be able to take care of myself
00:55:49.560 and sometimes i worry what other people think of me and it's really stressful so um knowing you know
00:55:57.740 that there's other people out there that are going through that same thing
00:56:00.720 god damn to anybody else out there with chronic illness whether or not you know you have it what's
00:56:07.440 going on in your body know that you're not alone and that
00:56:11.320 it's always okay to express your emotions and it's always okay to tell someone that
00:56:16.500 you have to set back yeah that's your boundaries um
00:56:21.000 thank you so much theo yeah i adore you dang dang
00:56:24.960 well thanks for uh the sweet uh call yeah i could definitely feel
00:56:29.640 yeah it makes me it makes me
00:56:33.140 you know it makes me think that you're pretty brave to call
00:56:40.860 and share that you know that takes a lot of bravery
00:56:46.840 i mean it makes you feel like you're on the front lines of your own emotions and feelings and
00:56:52.180 you're battling that and that anxiety yeah it's so tough
00:56:54.920 you know you go somewhere and you think that everybody already doesn't like you before they
00:56:59.340 get there and they've already made this decision in their in their heads or
00:57:02.580 you know you just get so scared of like just being out and about and
00:57:06.320 you know i get scared to look in people's eyes sometimes because i feel like they knew that i was
00:57:10.480 they could see something inside of me that was wrong and i didn't even know what it was and
00:57:14.800 or they could see that i was weak or i don't know i just
00:57:19.220 yeah i just i know that that's really painful
00:57:24.520 um and i know that that's really brave though of you
00:57:29.020 you know and to to say look you know i'm still i'm gonna pack up who i am
00:57:35.120 and i'm gonna go and i'm gonna go see this band or i'm gonna go in
00:57:39.080 and and apply for this job or i'm gonna go in
00:57:42.780 and uh
00:57:44.660 and i'm just gonna take action
00:57:47.160 and you know it's so funny when you
00:57:52.780 we we play the beginning of the call again nick
00:57:55.020 hey theo um my name's sophia
00:57:59.140 i was born with a condition that um
00:58:04.020 affects every system of my body and i have been chronically ill my entire life
00:58:09.200 and some of the main symptoms are uh overwhelming sadness and anxiety and
00:58:15.440 things that really keep me from being able to socialize very well
00:58:18.880 and uh i'm about to go to a concert
00:58:21.880 and i i don't get out of the house much so
00:58:26.000 i uh i'm stressing being around people
00:58:32.500 and i'm fearing judgment i i just watched
00:58:37.000 yeah this really you really hit you really hit me in the heart right there
00:58:41.220 yeah because you're just fearing judgment
00:58:46.920 and you know why it kind of makes me sad i think when i really think about it i can relate to that
00:58:52.340 but it also makes me sad because i know that i'm judgmental sometimes
00:58:57.300 you know i know that i'm
00:58:59.340 as much as i don't want to be
00:59:01.460 i am
00:59:02.500 you know that i judge others because it makes me feel a little bit separate
00:59:07.080 and that distance that space gives me the space i need to then
00:59:11.160 put up my guard and to be okay you know
00:59:13.880 and uh
00:59:15.340 you know and you calling and saying that i think it reminds me that
00:59:21.380 that i can always be of service
00:59:26.700 somehow
00:59:27.660 if i'm at a concert if i'm walking down the hall
00:59:30.800 if i am
00:59:32.740 no matter what i'm doing i can always be of service to someone
00:59:36.680 or i always there's always an opportunity
00:59:39.200 because there's probably going to be you know a lot of other people at the concert
00:59:42.740 and none of them may know what you're going through
00:59:45.880 may not
00:59:46.400 but some of somebody may get a feeling when they're around you oh
00:59:49.140 maybe i should just check in with this person see how they're doing or just
00:59:52.000 you know it's like uh
00:59:53.780 you know you are an opportunity for other people
00:59:58.500 to
00:59:59.700 express the best part of themselves
01:00:03.240 you know a part that's very caring
01:00:05.720 um
01:00:07.280 and man what if god made you as a gift like a
01:00:10.720 god made you as this basically this opportunity that's wandering around
01:00:14.220 you know
01:00:16.480 that you have this opportunity like you are this opportunity
01:00:19.540 that when people
01:00:21.480 you know when people care and show that you know reach out to you or somebody like you or
01:00:27.340 just let
01:00:28.240 help you to feel okay
01:00:30.520 that
01:00:31.540 that they are then going to feel so good about themselves
01:00:35.960 and so that's really wild because you
01:00:38.240 that's like a
01:00:39.200 you have the potential oddly
01:00:41.560 to make people feel really good
01:00:43.240 because if people know that you're struggling
01:00:45.900 and then they are they're able to
01:00:47.940 you know just help be a part of a little bit more your joy or comfort
01:00:51.780 then that's really going to make them
01:00:54.940 realize a potential that they didn't have inside of themselves
01:00:58.380 um
01:00:59.020 what do you think nick
01:01:01.840 yeah she has the potential to make other people feel good about themselves
01:01:05.720 and other people who are in her same position
01:01:08.000 her facing these fears and going out into public
01:01:11.000 it shows other people who are suffering from whatever she is that
01:01:14.500 they can do it too and you can live
01:01:16.380 uh fulfilling life and not let whatever ailment you have
01:01:20.280 hold you back
01:01:21.740 yeah
01:01:22.200 yeah it's so crazy how we've gotten so trapped inside of ourselves a little bit
01:01:27.240 um
01:01:27.920 you know i do believe that the cure-all for everything
01:01:30.700 can be helping others
01:01:32.880 and if you can find a way in your life
01:01:35.680 and even in those moments when you are struggling the most
01:01:38.780 and most anxious and everything
01:01:40.140 to just try and be of helpful to someone else
01:01:42.700 that i think for
01:01:43.380 it can offer you some peace where
01:01:45.400 where we don't think about ourselves
01:01:47.420 you know when we're thinking about somebody else
01:01:49.340 it's really hard to think about ourselves
01:01:50.800 um
01:01:51.260 it's really almost impossible
01:01:52.820 um
01:01:54.460 but yeah i just appreciate
01:01:56.940 i just appreciate you calling because
01:02:00.560 you know you just reminded me
01:02:02.660 of uh
01:02:04.040 of feelings
01:02:05.760 you reminded me of feelings
01:02:07.100 and that people have them
01:02:08.640 and that we're all struggling somehow
01:02:10.560 you know we're all struggling
01:02:12.120 we're all struggling somehow
01:02:13.720 and for you to be brave enough to say that and share it
01:02:16.680 man for some reason
01:02:18.460 and some weird space inside of me
01:02:20.220 or
01:02:20.420 not even a weird space
01:02:21.840 but an okay space
01:02:22.800 it makes me feel
01:02:23.920 like there's hope
01:02:26.980 you know it makes me feel hopeful
01:02:30.020 because if you can share that
01:02:32.340 you feel that way
01:02:33.280 then i know that it's okay for me to feel that way a little bit
01:02:36.360 and when i acknowledge that i feel
01:02:38.460 sometimes like
01:02:39.780 so worried about what other people are thinking
01:02:42.300 or i feel so afraid
01:02:43.380 or i feel
01:02:44.160 you know like
01:02:46.520 people are judging me so much
01:02:48.240 and there's nothing that i can do
01:02:49.820 that's ever going to make
01:02:50.760 me feel okay
01:02:52.600 when i feel those
01:02:54.860 you know
01:02:55.440 when i feel some of those things
01:02:58.860 that
01:02:59.060 man i lost my train of thought
01:03:01.060 but i really was enjoying
01:03:02.100 being on the tracks
01:03:04.180 um
01:03:04.640 when you share
01:03:08.540 that you're not feeling well
01:03:10.920 it activates a part of me
01:03:16.240 inside of me
01:03:17.040 that also
01:03:19.060 has the same fears
01:03:20.400 and same uncertainty
01:03:21.560 and maybe not the same level of illness
01:03:24.320 that you suffer from
01:03:25.400 but part of it
01:03:26.200 a little of it
01:03:28.020 i can really relate
01:03:29.000 and when i can relate
01:03:30.760 it makes me feel
01:03:31.580 not alone
01:03:32.260 and so thank you
01:03:34.820 because you did that for me a little bit
01:03:36.240 you know you
01:03:36.980 you made me feel a little bit more okay
01:03:40.700 to uh
01:03:41.460 to be brave
01:03:47.420 even if i'm not
01:03:48.580 okay
01:03:49.680 um
01:03:52.200 you're a sweetheart
01:03:54.840 and i hope you had fun at the concert
01:03:56.700 and when i come close
01:03:58.320 i hope you'll come out
01:03:58.840 and be my guest at my show
01:04:00.080 and uh
01:04:01.520 and just thank you
01:04:05.500 because you just
01:04:05.920 i just needed something today
01:04:07.200 to make my life feel
01:04:08.240 you know
01:04:09.180 i know it's selfish
01:04:09.740 but i just needed something to
01:04:11.340 remind me about what's important
01:04:15.060 and that's each other
01:04:16.440 and um
01:04:17.540 and you just did that for me
01:04:18.940 so
01:04:19.400 man
01:04:20.760 or lady
01:04:21.740 sorry
01:04:22.240 uh
01:04:23.480 you
01:04:25.060 you're doing more than you know
01:04:27.220 uh
01:04:28.740 be good to yourself
01:04:29.480 you know you deserve it
01:04:30.500 i know that
01:04:31.220 and i'm gonna try doing the same thing for myself
01:04:33.900 and we can do it
01:04:36.200 you know
01:04:37.480 we can do it
01:04:38.240 um
01:04:39.180 that's kind of the episode i guess today nick
01:04:41.820 how do you feel man
01:04:42.980 thanks for coming in here
01:04:43.920 i thought it was great
01:04:44.960 yeah
01:04:45.500 lots of feeling
01:04:46.240 yeah
01:04:47.380 lots of important stuff
01:04:48.460 and i need this
01:04:49.240 you know
01:04:49.600 and i'm so grateful
01:04:50.400 that uh
01:04:51.540 you know
01:04:54.040 i'm just
01:04:54.420 i don't know why
01:04:56.140 i'm trying to figure out a little bit more of my feelings from that girl's call
01:04:58.560 well i guess it's just amazing
01:05:09.020 it's like you know a whole
01:05:10.160 you know an hour of chatting
01:05:11.760 and this and that
01:05:12.620 and the thing that really just vibes
01:05:17.240 the the the vibration really
01:05:19.220 you know
01:05:19.980 i really got something
01:05:20.860 whenever we're
01:05:21.780 whenever i was listening to her call
01:05:23.420 you know
01:05:23.800 just kind of
01:05:24.940 made me feel something
01:05:26.120 um
01:05:27.020 that's powerful
01:05:28.540 it's so powerful that we can
01:05:29.900 that that can happen
01:05:31.020 even through electronics and everything
01:05:32.440 you know
01:05:32.960 through a voicemail
01:05:34.180 not even through an actual
01:05:35.320 you know
01:05:36.240 in-person touch interaction
01:05:38.200 that you can feel people's feelings
01:05:40.160 you know
01:05:40.420 that transmission
01:05:41.120 that's powerful
01:05:43.220 you know
01:05:45.420 the power of just each other
01:05:46.940 it's very very powerful man
01:05:50.060 we got a lot of potential here in this podcast
01:05:52.120 don't we nick
01:05:52.780 yes we do
01:05:53.560 um
01:05:54.760 and we're lucky to have it
01:05:56.140 and that's us
01:05:56.800 and that's you
01:05:57.360 and that's everybody
01:05:58.100 so uh
01:05:59.180 be good to yourselves gang
01:06:00.440 and um
01:06:01.740 i'm gonna go eat some dinner dude
01:06:03.260 and get some rest bro
01:06:04.440 you feel me
01:06:05.460 what are you gonna do nick
01:06:06.260 i'm gonna edit this episode
01:06:07.700 there we go man
01:06:09.340 unlimited potential here in this guy man
01:06:12.080 and he was premature man
01:06:13.600 and he freaking exceeded expectations dude
01:06:15.740 that guy was in the incubator for how long dude
01:06:17.760 good
01:06:18.980 good three weeks
01:06:20.060 unbelievable bro
01:06:21.800 i would say
01:06:22.060 unbelievable
01:06:23.500 everybody knew him from now
01:06:25.100 from around there man
01:06:26.660 against all odds
01:06:27.660 against all odds bro
01:06:29.400 do you remember that movie
01:06:30.460 about the black football player
01:06:31.520 when we were young
01:06:32.100 it was on all the time
01:06:32.920 it was on all the time
01:06:34.320 it was like larry gray
01:06:35.920 or something
01:06:36.340 it was like
01:06:36.880 mario van peebles played in it
01:06:40.160 no
01:06:40.680 god it was good
01:06:42.480 what was that movie
01:06:44.220 it was on
01:06:46.240 all the time man
01:06:47.460 and he was like
01:06:49.260 against all odds
01:06:50.380 radio
01:06:51.420 no
01:06:52.880 radio
01:06:54.140 is pretty good
01:06:54.960 are you comparing me to radio
01:06:56.340 no not at all man
01:06:57.800 well maybe so
01:06:59.000 that got a lot of potential bro
01:07:00.380 yeah
01:07:00.660 dude we all got some popcorn
01:07:02.560 in this man
01:07:03.400 you know
01:07:04.200 we all got some popcorn
01:07:05.400 they don't see it
01:07:06.100 they don't see it
01:07:06.880 look they think we're just a little yellow chunk bro
01:07:09.320 let them see that
01:07:10.460 but bam bro
01:07:12.160 what's up
01:07:12.840 you know what i'm saying
01:07:15.480 horrible red knocker dog
01:07:18.680 you know what i'm saying
01:07:19.300 i'm at your door baby
01:07:20.600 with capabilities
01:07:22.220 and uh
01:07:23.880 we'll go out with some um
01:07:25.560 with uh
01:07:26.780 let's go out with uh
01:07:27.720 making it by bishop gun
01:07:29.060 gang gang man
01:07:34.660 be good to yourselves
01:07:35.440 and i ain't made a dollar
01:07:38.500 i ain't spent
01:07:39.620 but where it's going
01:07:40.820 ain't killed me yet
01:07:42.660 i still get where i'm down to go
01:07:45.660 i'm making it
01:07:54.300 i'm making wrong
01:07:54.860 feel right
01:07:57.420 i'm making it
01:08:00.700 and if hell's where i'm headed then
01:08:03.740 i'm making good time
01:08:06.540 and most all of my plans
01:08:24.540 slip right through my hands
01:08:27.280 and wind up next to me
01:08:29.480 broken on the ground
01:08:31.580 if this bottle was an hourglass
01:08:36.640 i'd say that i'm about an hour past the minute
01:08:40.220 i should have put it down
01:08:43.340 but i'm making it
01:08:49.220 i'm making wrong
01:08:52.280 feel right
01:08:54.500 i'm making it
01:08:57.820 and if hell's where i'm headed then
01:09:00.880 i'm making good time
01:09:03.600 i'm making good time
01:09:15.200 i'm making good time
01:09:26.480 between the lines that i've crossed
01:09:44.980 and the friends that i've lost
01:09:47.980 i'm left here alone in my sleep
01:09:52.400 but i'm in pretty good shape
01:09:59.000 for the shape that i mean
01:10:01.880 i'm making it
01:10:05.360 i'm making it
01:10:08.180 i'm making it wrong
01:10:11.180 feel right
01:10:13.680 i'm making it
01:10:16.920 i'm making it
01:10:19.920 i'm making good time
01:10:23.480 i'm making it
01:10:28.600 i'm making it
01:10:31.460 i'm making it wrong
01:10:34.460 feel right
01:10:37.240 i'm making it
01:10:40.360 and if hell's where i'm headed then
01:10:43.240 i'm making good time
01:10:46.880 i'm making it
01:10:56.520 i'm making good time
01:10:58.420 i ain't seen home in about a hundred days
01:11:07.120 i can almost hear mama praying
01:11:10.200 for my restless soul
01:11:13.260 ladies and gentlemen
01:11:29.900 i'm jonathan kite
01:11:31.080 and welcome to kite club
01:11:32.440 a podcast where i'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:11:36.080 stand-up stories
01:11:37.280 and seven ways to pleasure your partner
01:11:39.600 the answer may shock you
01:11:41.520 sometimes i'll interview my friends
01:11:43.540 sometimes i won't
01:11:44.860 and as always
01:11:46.380 i'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:11:48.360 you have three new voice messages
01:11:51.240 a lot of people are talking about kite club
01:11:54.240 i've been talking about kite club for so long
01:11:57.020 longer than anybody else
01:11:58.660 so great
01:11:59.460 hi
01:12:00.460 swia
01:12:01.240 easy deal
01:12:02.520 anyone who doesn't listen to kite club
01:12:04.980 is a dodgy bloody wanker
01:12:07.000 germane
01:12:07.720 i'll take a quarter pounder with cheese
01:12:11.000 and a mcflurry
01:12:12.040 sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken
01:12:13.880 i think tom hanks just butt dialed me
01:12:18.840 anyway
01:12:19.300 first rule of kite club is
01:12:21.240 tell everyone about kite club
01:12:22.960 second rule of kite club is
01:12:24.880 tell everyone about kite club
01:12:27.140 third rule
01:12:27.920 like and subscribe
01:12:29.000 wherever you listen to podcasts
01:12:30.540 or watch us on youtube yeah
01:12:32.720 and yes don't worry
01:12:34.200 my brad pitt impression will get better
01:12:36.240 take a great job
01:12:36.860 3
01:12:38.500 5
01:12:39.360 10
01:12:39.740 most in wait
01:12:40.820 2
01:12:41.300 ofẽ
01:12:41.680 solve
01:12:42.400 tiny
01:12:43.120 zinc
01:12:43.820 th
01:12:45.440 опять
01:12:46.060 0
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