This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 20, 2020


E301 A Mortician


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 16 minutes

Words per Minute

180.37737

Word Count

24,636

Sentence Count

11

Misogynist Sentences

28

Hate Speech Sentences

45


Summary

Today's guest is a certified death man. He's that sherpa that helps you through that last step into the final frontier. Today s guest is here to talk everything about everything we don't know about death and being dead. Ladies and gentlemen, it's mortician Frank Giles.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 today's guest is a certified death man he is uh he's that he's that sherpa that helps you
00:00:08.180 through that last step into the final frontier today's guest is here to talk everything about
00:00:16.520 everything we don't know about death and being dead ladies and gentlemen it's mortician frank giles
00:00:30.000 uh we are here today with frank giles thank you for being here
00:01:00.000 you're quite welcome it's an honor well it's um it's nice to have you in here man it's nice to
00:01:05.900 have somebody that's really that concierge kind of for the for the dark arts you're really right
00:01:09.860 there i mean you're that last you're kind of the bellhop for the devil or for god really that's
00:01:16.780 right that's one way to look at it you know you were checking your reservation we're gonna get
00:01:22.700 you there one one way or the other yeah yeah uh i gotta ask you this take me through the process of
00:01:28.480 when you guys get a body okay the first thing that happens is normally a phone call and that phone
00:01:37.700 call most of the time is going to come from either a hospice nurse a nurse at a hospital nursing home
00:01:46.840 or either maybe even the county corner and they're going to call and they're going to say you know
00:01:53.140 we've had a patient expire or we've had a we've got a client in need of your services and they're going
00:01:59.820 to have they're going to say something like that and then we're going to go through and get some
00:02:04.220 information such as you know their name where they're located who the next of kin is and just some short
00:02:11.520 information and then the next thing that happens is we've got to receive that body into our care
00:02:18.640 so it doesn't matter if it's at a house or a hospital or you know nursing home wherever that
00:02:26.880 person dies we've got to go you have to go to that locale we've got to go to that location and most of
00:02:33.420 the time see i'm in a small community in hopkinsville kentucky we don't have play people that you know take
00:02:42.000 bodies to the morgue and we don't pick them up in the morning when they call us we're rolling that
00:02:46.640 immediately oh it's a one-stop shop over there that's right so when you call if you call us at
00:02:52.480 two o'clock in the morning we've got an answering service that answers our phone at night and so
00:02:57.840 they're going to take down all the information and then they're going to call us we're going to wake
00:03:02.080 up you know from dead sleep we're going to put our suits on we're going to go to the funeral home
00:03:07.680 get the hearse and then we're rolling to the location now when you go to that locale do you show
00:03:12.740 up do you go by yourself you take a sidekick no we've we always take two people because in the
00:03:18.600 words of forrest gump you know when you go to a house call especially you don't ever know what
00:03:24.560 you're going to get i mean somebody could be dead in a bed or they could be they could have died on
00:03:29.720 the toilet like elvis i mean you you really don't know and you got to go in there that's right we've
00:03:34.960 got to we've got to bring that person out of that house no matter where they've died in the house
00:03:40.240 whether it be the attic the basement the bathroom the bedroom whether they be a hundred pounds
00:03:45.920 whether they be 500 pounds you know we've got to get that person and we've got to bring them out
00:03:51.340 of the house into the funeral home have you ever had to call for backup you know you show up and
00:03:55.600 they got somebody they're real girthed out you know somebody's real just fully just you know
00:04:00.160 just a real big dog or a big lady most of the time they will tell us that ahead of time you know
00:04:06.200 somebody will try to give give us a heads up and say uh you might need to bring some extra help or
00:04:11.920 whatever you might want to bring somebody from the gym yeah yeah you know but i've taken as many as
00:04:16.740 four or five people out to one house you know to get a body or you know to a hospital you know to
00:04:22.740 make sure that we can get the body back and how do y'all do you guys just like everybody like on the
00:04:27.620 count of three let's lift like that kind of deal or are the bodies hard when you get there are they
00:04:32.340 still soft it depends on how long they've been dead sometimes they're still warm they're still
00:04:37.540 soft and warm sometimes they've already gone into rigor mortis and that's where they kind of
00:04:42.060 stiffen up but you know in the funeral industry one of the things that you will use more than most
00:04:49.460 is a clean white sheet you know when we go we'll take a we'll take a white sheet and it doesn't have
00:04:56.100 to be white but any type of sheet we'll roll it under them and everything get a sheet under them
00:05:00.980 so we can lift up on the sheet you know we've got other devices that are designed to do that that
00:05:06.260 have handles so if you've got a large person that you know that are rated for you know 500 a thousand
00:05:12.400 pounds and everything so that you can because that's the thing about a deceased person is they
00:05:20.180 are what they what's considered dead weight and so but if you've got something with handles that you
00:05:25.880 can use it makes lifting it a whole lot easier okay so sometimes if it's a real big dog or a real
00:05:31.420 big gal you got to really get that tarp under them or something real that's right you gotta you've got
00:05:36.080 to get some type of body mover under them so that you can lift them up and get them to your mortuary cod
00:05:42.080 um and it what's the uh biggest person you think you've ever retrieved out there uh probably just
00:05:48.800 under 600 pounds man that's big huh that is big and so you get the body now in a larger city there is
00:05:58.820 a they'll go to the coroner first or what is that what is the coroner well the coroner depending upon
00:06:04.280 the county and the situation like for instance in in our county the coroner responds if someone isn't
00:06:13.580 under hospice care or isn't under doctor's care and then he responds and so for instance like if
00:06:22.300 if we walked in and just found you dead here today then they would call the they would call and the
00:06:29.380 police would come and the coroner would come and they would do a death investigation and if they
00:06:35.020 decided that it was no foul play there's no need for an autopsy then they're going to call us and we're
00:06:41.820 going to come get you so everybody doesn't get autopsied no no and it all depends upon your area
00:06:49.320 one thing that most people don't realize with funeral homes and some of the laws and things
00:06:55.020 is they are very state by state and even in the state sometimes regional as far as funeral customs
00:07:03.080 and like in a bigger city they're going to be a lot more autopsies whereas you know where i am
00:07:11.240 there's very few autopsies wow so it's just direct to you it's direct to right farm to table really
00:07:17.300 exactly because in christian county we don't have a medical examiner a medical examiner is the actual
00:07:23.720 person it's a pathologist that does the autopsies okay there's one in madisonville kentucky that covers
00:07:32.340 the whole western part of the state of kentucky so there's one for like a third of the state so you
00:07:40.140 know they can't send everybody to him otherwise he'd be overworked yeah and so a lot of times it's
00:07:46.480 just you know uh heart attack or you know you know they'll go through they'll ask the family
00:07:52.060 did he have any heart conditions what was his medical history and then you know they'll make
00:07:56.960 their judgment based on that so if you had to get if you had to kill somebody right if i'm a killer
00:08:02.320 all right you're a killer and what is there do i want to kill in a particular type of county that
00:08:08.460 may not have that may be more rural that would probably be a better better way to get away with
00:08:15.820 it in a smaller community because that way you know they don't have all the necessarily resources
00:08:21.960 have you ever rolled up on a body and they're like yeah they just died naturally and you kind
00:08:26.460 of felt like they didn't but it's not really your responsibility no not really we've got good
00:08:31.620 professionals that they do their job and everything else now one time i did roll up on a suicide
00:08:37.620 and they had you know they had worked worked it and everything else and how they do it you know they
00:08:44.480 said rope or gun i mean no it was you know self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head you know it was
00:08:50.040 from the bottom or from the side i can't remember but the thing about it was they had when they'd gone
00:08:58.420 through and cleared the scene when i went over there to start my part i called one of the deputies
00:09:05.980 back in and i said um do y'all want this gun for evidence or you know because it was still right there
00:09:12.880 oh wow they just left the gun there and it's like okay before i touch anything and ruin the contaminate
00:09:18.580 this scene what is what's happening here and they're like oh we forgot to move that yeah i
00:09:24.560 believe you did thank you captain obvious things get a little shoddy out there occasionally you know
00:09:30.620 i guess it was the night shift you know oh yeah man the night shift that's like when you go to like
00:09:34.720 a hampton inn or something and they got that night manager it's barely somebody that's even alive
00:09:41.340 sometimes you know dude they had a blind i was in knoxville tennessee this is probably nine
00:09:46.140 12 years ago and they had a blind man working as a night manager man and he just looked trapped
00:09:51.520 back there i felt like somebody just i don't even know if he knew where he was but you hit that bell
00:09:56.220 and he'd come out there you know so night manager can be anybody um what about this so now you get the
00:10:04.320 body okay all right so take us from there once you get that body um then what happens what do you do
00:10:12.460 with it okay so when we get the body back to the funeral home oh yeah if the body is going to be
00:10:19.160 embalmed then we go ahead and we start the embalming process immediately immediately if it's two o'clock in
00:10:25.840 the morning we're going to start embalming damn because the thing about our business is you don't
00:10:32.220 know when the next person's going to die you might you might go a entire day and not get anybody
00:10:39.700 but then the next day you might get four back to back how often do people die um well for instance
00:10:47.180 we at our current location we'll do about 125 funerals a year okay out of one facility and then
00:10:54.180 i've got another facility that's going to do about 120 calls a year what's the most dyingest time a year
00:10:59.980 when do people tend to really just say all right i'm gonna die i'm dying normally normally your first
00:11:05.780 quarter january february march why you know cold you know stress the holidays are over because you
00:11:16.140 know i believe that you know somebody can have the will to live you know and in the end you know
00:11:22.600 they've got thanksgiving they've got christmas they're waiting you know the family's coming in
00:11:28.160 at christmas the family's coming in at thanksgiving but then in january they're like
00:11:32.560 we won't see them again for another year or maybe maybe they'll come in at the summer
00:11:37.860 and get depressed and you know say hell with that i'm out and you know that once you get depressed
00:11:43.700 you know you kind of just you know how it was back when everybody was under quarantine and you
00:11:48.500 couldn't see your friends and everything else oh yeah everybody got depressed oh you couldn't
00:11:52.340 even tickle anybody i remember that that's right they gotta take a guy to jail for tickling somebody
00:11:57.020 uh in pennsylvania so yes stuff just haywire man uh so people will hold out for the holidays hold
00:12:05.640 out for that time with the family once the super bowl's over though people are like oh f it i'm dead
00:12:10.100 that's right normally normally in the funeral business if it's your first quarter and your
00:12:16.360 last quarter or your two busiest times okay and um so what you get that body you know you pick that
00:12:23.880 sucker up how do you know if they're going bomb or if they're going uh dust because we're going to
00:12:29.020 talk to the family what most of the time we'll talk to the family either by the family's there
00:12:35.240 where the body is if it's at the nursing home or if it's at their home the family's there and we'll
00:12:40.960 have a interaction with the family and go ahead and talk to them about some preliminary things
00:12:45.760 get permission to do the embalming and then we'll go back and sometimes they might say
00:12:50.660 well no he wants to be cremated or you know we're going to do this you know and so we want it done
00:12:57.300 different but but once we get permission we're going back to the funeral home and we're going to
00:13:00.940 start that embalming process now if they go cream right do you do you how do y'all do it y'all do stove
00:13:08.980 y'all do like bar like not barbecue but like luau style how do y'all do no it's more of a it's there's a
00:13:15.460 cream the crematory has this chamber that you put the body in and that's how the body's cremated and
00:13:21.120 is it briquettes or wood like what is in there do you know no it's gas oh damn because it has to be
00:13:26.960 pre it's preheated to about 1400 degrees before the body goes in and do you put the body in there
00:13:32.680 no i've got somebody else that does that okay and is that a trustworthy person usually that person to me
00:13:38.060 seems shady yeah no that's that's a very trustworthy person wow because i just can't i mean if i
00:13:45.860 and how long does it take to to really grill somebody down most of the time it depends upon
00:13:52.320 the the size of the person and how new the crematory is like a grandparent though how much you think
00:13:59.280 oh you know you're probably you're probably a little over an hour damn and what about like a
00:14:05.920 what about that 600 pounder now see that's different because you think of somebody that's 600
00:14:13.300 pounds and the fat that's on oh yeah that becomes a controlled grease fire so it's there are the
00:14:24.920 crematories have weight limits on them so some crematories can only do 500 pounds some of them can
00:14:32.020 only do like 700 pounds some of them are rated for a thousand and so you have to um you have to make
00:14:39.160 sure that you don't get somebody too large yeah for that for that crematory because otherwise you can get
00:14:44.920 a problem you can have a major problem one of my friends he was um who had a crematory he was cremating
00:14:52.740 somebody and he didn't realize that they were as obese as they were and so he had a grease fire going
00:15:01.820 you couldn't tell it from inside but the crematory was smoking and they're not supposed to smoke because
00:15:08.180 the afterburner is supposed to be burning off all that smoke well he was in downtown in a city
00:15:13.540 and rolling black smoke he gets a call from the funeral home and when he just set it to cook and
00:15:20.440 left he was like no he was sitting he was sitting inside the building with the crematory oh and so
00:15:25.280 he was sitting inside in there you know he didn't notice and he didn't he couldn't see all the smoke
00:15:29.740 outside and he gets a call from probably a native american i guess well hey man look y'all got some
00:15:35.880 rough signals rolling huh but it was but the funeral home was actually across the street from the
00:15:40.900 crematory and somebody from the funeral home called and said what's going on over there you're rolling a
00:15:47.280 lot of smoke well about the same time that they called the fire department showed up and the
00:15:52.680 fire department had to come that well the fire department came because there was all this smoke
00:15:56.340 and it it wasn't anything that needed the fire department but they but they just showed up wow
00:16:03.600 so needless to say he learned a lot that day dang so so because the body what it's just it's just
00:16:09.360 like having uh yeah my sister sometimes her and her husband will make um cracklins you know
00:16:14.640 they'll make cracklins in the yard and they'll cut up all the fat and put it in this big open thing
00:16:19.200 and somebody's got to be right there with like a boat or just kind of hitting it every now and then
00:16:23.700 once they put the body in the crematory in the end of the crematorium into the furnace do they kind
00:16:30.200 of hit it with a thing every now and then or they just it's one time it's kind of just you know
00:16:34.300 start and close the door no it's kind of start and close the door and then and then of course
00:16:39.780 they'll run it through you know to grind up the bones and everything that don't burn down
00:16:44.780 so there's a grinder in there too well no the grinders after they pull the cremains out
00:16:49.300 okay so you put that body in you grill them down you know and can you do well done can you do rare
00:16:55.400 it's just one no it's just one setting okay damn one setting you can't you can't get a medium rare
00:17:01.840 person yeah that's what i would go something a little bit more you know uh ceviche or something
00:17:07.240 not quite so fine you know yeah yeah i want to be a little grainy you know um so once they get that
00:17:14.140 bone and everything else burns down you know they they take and what doesn't burn down they run through
00:17:19.800 that kind of grinder and you know to where they can make it real fine okay and depending upon
00:17:25.860 depending on what crematory you use and what kind of grinder they've got some cremains are finer than
00:17:31.880 others really so who's more of a finer cremaine like what are you talking about like a japanese
00:17:36.880 guy no no it's it's just you know because a lot of times there's companies that own these
00:17:42.680 crematories so that you don't have so every funeral home doesn't have to own one there's like a third
00:17:48.760 party guy that has this crematory and you take your body there and you know they'll do it for it for you
00:17:55.020 and so some of those guys you know if they have newer stuff it might be finer than the older you know
00:18:02.520 if they're running that push mode yeah yeah yeah totally man yeah yeah every now and then you got
00:18:07.700 somebody who just you know they haven't sharpened the silverware in a while exactly exactly like damn
00:18:12.440 what are y'all cremating this thing with spoons one thing that one thing about the cremation process
00:18:17.340 that you'll find interesting yeah if somebody has a pacemaker that has to be removed before cremation
00:18:24.880 because that battery will explode no and that and if that battery explodes it can actually ruin
00:18:32.200 the chamber that they use for the cremation wow it's like when some asshole would throw a can of
00:18:37.800 wd-40 in a ditch fire when i was growing up oh yeah everybody's out there that can of hairspray yeah
00:18:43.300 that white rain somebody whip a can of white rain yeah that projectile's coming at you somebody's
00:18:52.680 going down man that's when you just let the lord work man that was kind of like a rural version of
00:18:57.860 russian roulette man everybody's out there somebody's cooking a wean or a couple kids are just running
00:19:02.300 just jumping through the fire you notice little evil knievels and then some a-hole just uh just
00:19:07.860 freaking just flips a can of uh aquanet into that bastard that's right and you know somebody's
00:19:13.280 it's it's just pure luck from there on out um okay so if those are the body you have any
00:19:19.080 questions sean that came up we got one from uh melissa about uh embalming hey theo this is melissa
00:19:25.220 calling from jacksonville florida i have a question for the mortician um the question is have you ever
00:19:32.440 had a customer request you to embalm them when they were alive gang gang gang baby beautiful young lady
00:19:41.520 asking these death questions right here and have you ever had anybody just want to you know get a
00:19:45.960 little hit of it no i have not because you know i could imagine that that would be quite painful if
00:19:51.800 you were still living yeah yeah because you know one of the things that we do is we wire their mouth
00:19:58.260 shut and you know once you start i would imagine that that would hurt and when we do when we make our
00:20:04.860 incision to start injecting the fluid i imagine once once we hit you with that fluid it's going to burn
00:20:11.320 so say a living person even just took a couple grand or a couple you know 20 milliliters in the
00:20:16.960 arm or something i mean would it kill somebody you think i would i would venture to say if you were
00:20:21.760 injecting it into your artery it would probably would wow what's in it well there's a lot of different
00:20:28.700 things in it there's formaldehyde glutaraldehyde perfuming agents you know water conditioning agents
00:20:35.580 and so but the bulk of them are formaldehyde and glutaraldehyde and so that's what and as a matter
00:20:43.020 of fact this is a bottle of arterial solution really so this has got your formaldehyde in it
00:20:50.160 and your glutaraldehyde in it that's that death gravy huh that's right this one's called chromatech pink
00:20:55.700 made by dodge chemical company and who goes pink do different people go a different color that might be
00:21:00.940 for a lady uh sometimes you mix mix the colors but most of the time you can use chromatech pink
00:21:08.080 on a man on a woman it doesn't matter oh i want something a little more gray or something well
00:21:13.060 you know we've got some we've got some suntan dyes and stuff that we can put in there can kind of make
00:21:18.320 it a little darker you know something like that you know so you've got some dyes that you can put some
00:21:22.760 stuff in there and then of course the cosmetics that you use can also make it to where if you want you
00:21:29.140 know if you want to look like that bronze or look you know like you've been laying out you know you
00:21:33.800 can't just came back from florida yeah that one last tan huh that's right that final tan i love that
00:21:40.800 so you got a couple items here you got that chromatech pink and so that's the that's just that
00:21:46.040 big sip you put it right into somebody right how many bottles that you throw into somebody well normally
00:21:50.280 about two that's it uh-huh because we'll mix this we'll mix this with some other fluids that we have
00:21:58.640 you know such as a water conditioner another fluid that's called pro flow that's kind of like a
00:22:06.040 vein conditioner and an artery conditioner and we'll mix all that in about two and a half gallons
00:22:12.160 of total solution and so it's about two and a half gallons of solution that we put in the average body
00:22:18.740 okay and so what that what we do is we put that and inject that with an embalming machine
00:22:25.080 through the artery and at the same time it's pushing the blood and stuff out the vein okay so
00:22:32.420 you don't drain the body first no it's a simultaneous process okay so where do you put the entry and where
00:22:38.420 do you put the out tree well different embalmers use different locations where do you go i normally
00:22:44.020 go to tell anybody i normally go to the femoral down here on the leg okay because that way daddy getting
00:22:49.940 wild because that way if it's a if it's a lady and she's got a low cut garment you know she's going
00:22:55.980 to show a little you know show a little cleavage at a visitation i don't blame you know you can do
00:23:01.380 that you know you still got them exactly if if you paid for them you know and they're still sticking
00:23:07.800 up and you want to show it that's fine but you know you've got so i normally go down here to the
00:23:14.280 femoral and i'll inject in the artery and drain through the vein so you'll do in and out the same
00:23:20.480 area same locale yep because it's because as you're injecting it's going to go all the way through you
00:23:27.640 know through all the arteries and stuff back to the heart and then come back out the veins so
00:23:33.580 and so you run in two and a half gallons you said about normally about two and a half gallons for the
00:23:39.440 average person and you'll flush out how much same yeah you'll flush out the same and that won't be
00:23:45.760 all blood you know you get about you know probably about 75 80 of all the blood out you know some of
00:23:52.140 the blood still in the body okay but yeah you'll get out that much so wow damn boy you rocking right
00:23:59.680 there on the cusp that's wild you ever yeah you ever like do you ever need a couple drinks to get
00:24:06.140 through it no no i very i one thing about it i very seldom drink you know as far as you know
00:24:12.880 drink alcohol but yeah but you know a lot of a lot of people in the business do and it's just all in
00:24:19.140 it's all in your mindset you know this business isn't cut out for everybody you know because you
00:24:25.980 think about it and in the one of the most popular scriptures that's used in the funeral business
00:24:33.540 or in the funerals is the 23rd song and it talks about walking through the valley of the shadow of
00:24:41.240 death well the shadow of death's where i live you know that's that's basically where i live because
00:24:46.440 somebody's dying and i'm that's where i'm pretty much staying you know so oh you out there voldemorting
00:24:51.680 man you milling around that's right that's right i'm just waiting on the next one do you uh do you
00:24:57.060 ever see people around town and you're like i'll probably get a call on this one in a week
00:25:00.580 oh not not normally because you know most of the time those people are in the nursing homes but you
00:25:05.140 never know you ever run a pool with the people at work no no we don't as far as when somebody's
00:25:11.240 gonna die no okay that's just bad juju right there you know then that might make you the next person
00:25:17.980 you never can tell yeah you're right i hate to interrupt this episode but you know what i'm talking
00:25:22.280 about right now people struggling with nose pubes uh people struggling with a stray hair reaching out
00:25:30.440 your nose trying to get something get a handful of gravy get something and that's why you got to take
00:25:36.260 care of yourself with the new performance package from manscaped trim up your manhood trim up your snout
00:25:45.220 i've i've never really enjoyed long nose hair and sometimes if i don't have any feelings going on in
00:25:52.180 my life i will reach into my nose and pull out all the hairs i can at once just to have something
00:25:57.640 and sometimes it almost makes me cry manscaped performance package is the ultimate men's hygiene
00:26:05.700 bundle it includes the weed whacker the ear and nose hair trimmer which is waterproof and uses a
00:26:13.700 9 000 rpm motor powered 360 degree rotary dual blade system look 79 of partners polled admitted that
00:26:24.840 long nose hair is a turn off so turn it off completely get the lawnmower 3.0 trimmer best trimmer on the
00:26:33.680 market for your balls butt and body triple b's the performance package is the best value that
00:26:41.640 manscaped has to offer get 20 off and free shipping at manscaped.com slash theo i'm talking to a death
00:26:51.060 man today and it can be death to the hair on your body support the podcast get 20 off and free shipping
00:26:58.300 at manscaped.com slash theo that's 20 off with free shipping at manscaped.com slash theo what are you
00:27:06.560 waiting for go whack your weeds the best way to listen to anything is to listen through a pair of
00:27:14.060 premium wireless earbuds you know people listen through certain earbuds and they just they can't
00:27:20.460 hear everything you'd be like oh what they say you got to replay it or you don't get it you don't get
00:27:26.180 some earbuds you don't get treble and bass you get one or the other what what what is that
00:27:30.980 so now they have a new everyday e25 earbud from raycon and they're the best ones yet
00:27:40.320 six hours of playtime six hours
00:27:45.540 seamless bluetooth pairing more bass you want that bass
00:27:53.760 more compact design and noise isolating fit you want premium wireless earbuds and you want them
00:28:04.100 at a discount and the only place to get them is raycon their earbuds are stylish and discreet
00:28:11.820 discreet no dangling wires or stems the company was co-founded by ray j and it's also used by people
00:28:21.660 like snoop dog melissa etheridge brandy jr smith mike tyson they're obsessed with their raycon e25
00:28:30.180 earbuds for a limited time you can get 15 off your order at buyraycon.com slash theo that's b-u-y-r-a-y-c-o-n
00:28:41.320 dot com slash t-h-e-o for a special 15 discount on raycon wireless earbuds make sure to check it out now
00:28:49.800 while the deal is running by raycon.com slash theo and now back to the podcast with the death
00:28:57.480 man frank so you got a couple items here now you got a uh pint of that embalm there and then you got
00:29:04.660 this other uh little holster here what is that that's a cremation iron hey that's it's a black
00:29:10.480 onyx culture marble marble iron and that's that is that a basic is that your basic run of the mill
00:29:16.180 well that's what that's kind of a standard you know that some people use some people like the marble
00:29:21.860 because you can engrave on it and it's pretty sturdy you know unless you just throw it out the
00:29:27.240 window you know and then but you know a lot of people use the marble urns for cremation you know
00:29:32.360 after they've had them cremated and you know it looks nice you can either set it on your mantel if
00:29:37.340 you're going to keep it or you can also bury it you know put it in a columbarium wall there's lots of
00:29:42.380 things you can do with cremations yeah somebody out you hell it looks like you'd almost look for
00:29:46.360 a dang kleenex out of that one it's almost perfect that size exactly uh how much cremations do you get
00:29:51.920 total hmm let's see i would say if you were it's going to probably well for one thing it's if the
00:30:02.100 if the person has never had
00:30:04.240 a normal situation you're going to get probably somewhere around you know 180 cubic centimeters
00:30:15.720 or something like that so how many handfuls is that you think oh it's several it's probably going
00:30:20.600 to be about that much oh like 40 handfuls maybe yeah yeah it's not going to fill this up but it's
00:30:27.060 going to come pretty close okay and is it how fine is it are we talking salt are we talking it's more
00:30:34.960 like uh dust sand that's down in destin are we talking more like black beach kind of sand you'd
00:30:40.800 find out in san francisco what kind of it's a it's what's the vibe of that dust that death dust
00:30:46.780 it's probably i guess a little bit bigger than salt okay and we is there any gristle in there it's all
00:30:53.680 the same no sometimes there's you know you'll catch a bigger chunk of bone that made it through
00:30:58.720 or something like that and it's half a molar a filling anything like no no you won't ever catch
00:31:03.760 anything that big normally and normally it's pretty gray you know it's not do you feel bad uh having
00:31:12.900 done probably you know how many embalms have you done oh i let's say probably throughout i've probably
00:31:22.700 been involved in i don't know about 4 000 or something damn bro you're going to hell bro
00:31:30.780 you're riding dark dog so 4 000 so because i've been doing it over half my life
00:31:39.640 dang bro does one come to mind that there was just the toughest one for some reason
00:31:45.740 something happened no i mean i i don't know it seemed like one was in your head there because
00:31:52.340 because you know i think you know i think back and you know one of the things that's so different is
00:31:58.260 a regular embalming you know you're pretty good you know it's pretty much the same you're going to
00:32:03.720 get by with a real small incision you know something like that and then you know that and then a little
00:32:10.240 puncture room about the size of my pinky that's about normal whereas when you get somebody who's
00:32:16.760 been autopsied you know that's when you see that big y incision that you see on the tv all the time
00:32:22.760 and you have to you know you have to treat there's a lot more work to that because you can't just inject
00:32:29.040 one site because they've already they removed they removed all the viscera so you put it in it'll
00:32:35.180 start flowing out so you have to you have to inject down each leg and the arms and you have to inject
00:32:41.300 the carotids up the head and how do you how do you if you if there's a leak what do you do put a chip
00:32:46.640 clip or something like what do you do just uh well well while if there's a leak while you're like in
00:32:53.040 the in the vessels while you're doing it you'll put a clip on it okay but then what you do is you
00:32:59.220 have to take like for instance in an autopsy in a full autopsy they remove your brain and who does
00:33:07.560 the pathologist oh my god and so when they do all that asshole when they remove your brain
00:33:14.900 and all your organs and everything else they come back to to us and they're in the cavity
00:33:22.420 but they're in just a biohazard bag oh kind of like when you get that turkey at the holidays huh
00:33:28.380 yeah kind of like that what i'm saying is that sometimes they take all the stuff out and put it
00:33:31.900 back in a little sack yeah i guess i guess you could relate it to that and so like we have to go
00:33:38.380 back and we have to make sure that the head doesn't leak and that we can and then we have to sew that
00:33:44.280 back up because they don't sew it back up because you know they'll take and they'll cut you from
00:33:49.240 behind the ear to behind the ear oh and then it's like one of these deals where you can flip
00:33:54.640 you can flip it forward to where the hair your hair is actually on your nose oh wow and so and then
00:34:01.000 that's how we have to get back in there to you know to make sure that all those vessels are going
00:34:07.600 to be to where it doesn't leak and it doesn't leak on the casket you know while we're having the
00:34:13.180 visitation or the funeral so you get the body right and wait what is what happens to the i'll forget
00:34:20.120 this what about like a man's penis right oh do a lot of people die holding their penis i feel like
00:34:25.160 no you know i'm talking about though like i'll notice if i'm falling asleep sometimes i'll wake
00:34:29.560 up and i'm just holding my penis for no reason i think it's just a natural thing you know it's just
00:34:34.760 this is my penis and i'm holding it you know kind of but does when you find a lot of bodies are they
00:34:42.840 doing it holding a certain part of their body or they just do some people just like do like this
00:34:47.440 like they already they're ready to die so they know they're dying is there any type of thing you
00:34:52.060 notice like a jet like something like a peace out is there anything people are doing no normally
00:34:57.920 they're just you know it's just wherever their hands fall and you know so a lot of times a lot
00:35:03.700 of times it's just you know if they're down beside them or if they're right there you know somebody
00:35:08.180 will die like yeah sometimes they you know they've got them like that because they start to you know
00:35:13.920 put them in that sometimes they start putting them in that position you know but at the nursing
00:35:19.160 home or whatever do you have you ever gone to a home where uh they adjusted the body after it had
00:35:27.360 died for some reason like they didn't want it to be a certain place so they didn't they just and you
00:35:31.700 were like you didn't really ask him questions but you're like uh yeah i know this guy wasn't just
00:35:35.440 sitting out here in this rocking chair you know oh no because nor most of the time the people
00:35:41.060 you know aren't going to do a whole lot to the body really yeah why is that you think because
00:35:46.720 there's a lot there's a lot about death that people don't understand and there's a lot of people
00:35:51.800 that are uncomfortable around it you know and they're just uncomfortable with you know the whole
00:35:58.560 death and dying process because they aren't as exposed to it as they used to be yeah you know because
00:36:05.020 back in the old days where the funeral director or the embalmer would come to the house and he would
00:36:13.680 embalm the body at the house no yes he had why he had what was called a cooling board because that was
00:36:20.540 back when they would have like an embalmer and a funeral director but he wouldn't that was back
00:36:25.740 before funeral homes so he didn't take them back there you did everything at the house or took the
00:36:30.260 body to the church but most of the time they did postmates or something they did they did the
00:36:35.300 embalming right there at the house and so for instance um i've got um an old glass bottle that
00:36:45.000 was found somebody found it when they were cleaning up around an old house and what it is is it's an old
00:36:50.760 glass fluid bottle and when they embalmed the body they threw the glass bottle out the
00:36:57.420 out the door and it you know got covered up and so when they were tearing down this house they found
00:37:03.300 it and somebody brought it to me dang because you see they didn't bomb the bodies at the house they'd
00:37:08.040 come out they'd bring what was called a cooling board and they'd set that up and then they'd put
00:37:13.220 the body on the cooling board and back then because they were doing it that way they'd they'd inject and
00:37:20.560 drain right here in the arm so that way they could just hang the arm off the side and then the blood would
00:37:26.280 just drip down into into the into the ground into well most of the time they were doing this like
00:37:32.580 in your house so it would drip down into whatever bucket or whatever reservoir that they had to
00:37:38.060 catch it and when was this up until do you know that was back until probably you know let's say
00:37:46.320 probably back in the 40s you know and the cooling board what was that is that was it a
00:37:52.280 was it ice it had ice in it or how did it no it was just what it was called that's just what it was
00:37:57.340 called it was just like it was more rustic than a fold-out massage table okay you know that would be
00:38:05.080 that would be kind of what do you think about it today is they would come up with that table and
00:38:09.800 they would fold it out and put the body on it and then they'd take that back with them man
00:38:15.620 when you go to pick up a body in the middle of the night do you knock or do you ring the bell or
00:38:22.360 people are usually standing outside um sometimes i'll knock sometimes if i can see them in there
00:38:28.180 i'll just walk right on in the house and you know because i'm in kind of a small area and a lot of times
00:38:34.260 i'll know the family or know some family member and so we'll just i'll just walk or sometimes i'll knock
00:38:39.920 because i'm entering because you know they're sitting there waiting on you oh so frank you get
00:38:46.080 the body right what happens when you get the body after you do the fluiding all right the fluids out
00:38:52.960 you got the fluid and what do y'all do with the blood that comes out you really want us to answer
00:38:57.920 that question yeah it goes right down the drain no yes it goes right down the drain and right into
00:39:05.480 the system and you better hope that your water treatment guy is doing his job because if not
00:39:11.820 the person down the river is getting it dang so you could get that a positive hit just on a damn
00:39:17.600 because no they treat it tap because during this process we're always running water and they've done
00:39:26.660 tests and they've said that with us running as much water as we do that it's no difference from if
00:39:35.100 you were to cut your finger and stick your finger under the tap water in the kitchen it's no
00:39:40.620 difference in that blood being diluted than when we embalm a body then you'll drop a couple gallons
00:39:45.800 with the amount of water because because we're constantly running water when we're embalming just
00:39:52.600 to get the blood off the table and get it on down the drain and then we're also bathing the person
00:39:58.500 while we're doing the embalming because that massage you know when you bathe them helps circulate the
00:40:04.760 fluid now you ever see any you ever see you ever uh keep a little bit of blood put it on the plants
00:40:09.840 or anything like that you ever know anybody did anything like that no how would you put blood on
00:40:14.720 the plants well whenever i used to live up in uh in natchez they used to have a man they said and he
00:40:19.240 was a um i guess he worked with blood or something he was like a blood man and they said he would take
00:40:25.880 some of the blood uh and put it on his house plants at home just to for the vitamins and minerals you
00:40:31.560 know no i've never i've never heard of that that's a new one on me have they ever caught anybody in
00:40:37.020 your industry doing something vile or caught them you know somebody's you know it's kind of skimming
00:40:40.840 off the bottom there you know stealing blood or you know how you know copping femurs or something out
00:40:46.520 of deceased or anything now there have been people in the industry especially mainly like hospital
00:40:55.340 attendants or something like that who have you know gotten caught you know trying to sell body parts
00:41:02.880 or something like that but no reputable funeral person is trying to sell blood or you know bones
00:41:10.660 or anything that's you know to any black market people there's no side hustle or anything no there's
00:41:16.120 no side hustle on that there's for sure it now tell me about this so say you get the body it's been
00:41:24.980 embalmed now what do you have to do to it okay well the next process we would be waiting for
00:41:32.500 would be the process of dressing cosmetizing casketing and getting the body ready okay for the
00:41:40.020 for the visitation is that your responsibility yes okay or that's part of my responsibilities
00:41:45.980 now who sells the casket to them i do that as well way yeah i'm one-stop shop hey man and you like
00:41:54.940 the papa lock of death that's right that's right now is that a little bit of a tough vibe because i
00:42:00.120 mean you're you know like you have to sell something you have to then do a real business you know
00:42:04.380 right and you're dealing with like a you know a human life exactly most states like for for instance
00:42:12.120 in kentucky we have you can be either a licensed funeral director a licensed embalmer or you can
00:42:20.380 be both so for instance i'm dual licensed i have both licenses okay so you got both of them so you're
00:42:25.940 permitted to do it that's right and you say you'll do it all the time then it's natural right now what's
00:42:30.920 that basic casket man that basic death box what's that number one deal so now you're talking about
00:42:36.760 i'm talking basic dog like you barely want to go to heaven you know you barely want to go to heaven
00:42:41.160 yeah you know yeah like showing up to heaven on the greyhound you know i'm talking about just a seat
00:42:47.580 it ain't even a whole ride baby you know you're gonna you're talking about a price on that yeah
00:42:52.580 you know you're gonna be talking about something like 995 you know so for under a thousand you can
00:42:58.400 get boxed up no that's just for the box okay that's the box only that's not the service right
00:43:03.300 wow because in 1985 the federal trade commission came in and they said you know you've got to have
00:43:12.740 a charge for everything that you do so you know they said so there's no freebies in the death
00:43:17.900 community right so they said you know because used to pre-1985 a lot of times you went into the
00:43:25.800 selection room and that's where all the caskets are out oh yeah and when you would go you'd look at
00:43:32.200 you'd look at this casket and have a price on it and it was everything included well then they said
00:43:37.940 well somebody might not want everything in there so you have to itemize all your charges and then
00:43:43.380 you you go from there and so then they pick out all the services that they want then they have to
00:43:50.000 add their casket to it vault if they're using a vault and then that's your funeral total
00:43:54.840 and that vault how is the vault really necessary man or is it better to just get
00:44:00.800 you know i want almost the gift wrapping i want that low key you know well you know some cemeteries
00:44:07.380 require vaults okay some states require vaults it all depends in kentucky a vault is the vault
00:44:15.180 requirement is based on the cemetery okay but a vault will do two things it supports the weight of the
00:44:21.020 earth off the casket and it also keeps water and other elements and bugs and things from getting
00:44:26.700 to the casket and how long does a casket last you well it depends upon the type of casket for instance
00:44:33.600 that 995 brother how long is that going to get me oh you know it depends if you know vault or no vault
00:44:40.160 if you're not getting it in the vault it's not going to last very long are we talking eight months or
00:44:44.980 something oh it's going to depend upon well a lot of it depends upon ground conditions because you
00:44:50.720 think that soil yeah because if you're in if you're in a real wet area it's that thing's going
00:44:57.220 to be sitting in water and you know water is not good for metal or wood and everything else whereas
00:45:03.160 it's going to last longer if you're in a drier area yeah you know it's kind of like if you go back
00:45:08.140 to the ancient egyptians some of those bodies that were just buried in the desert where it was real dry
00:45:13.420 they lasted almost as long as those that were mummified right whereas yeah you go to you go to like a
00:45:19.620 swampy area in africa you go to louisiana man that thing's just a little snack for the for the swamp
00:45:25.080 that's right wow yeah let's hit a casket question here what do we have here
00:45:31.220 what up theo what up nick this is daniel from tucson now i know little boosie turned down the idea of
00:45:40.120 getting into the casket making business but i wanted to ask your mortician what is the most
00:45:46.580 outlandish or extravagant casket you've seen a customer walk out of your store with you know
00:45:53.860 did that thing have some spinners on it you know was it a translucent waterbed hitter i'd like to
00:46:02.120 hear about it anyways gang gang gang bro what they put in there what's the most extravagant casket you
00:46:07.380 know what i'm saying something with some cat toys hanging from the ceiling or you got you know you got
00:46:11.940 something with a little hot tub at one end of it what's the wildest thing you put somebody in
00:46:15.860 well be honest well well most of the time the people that are buying your real upscale caskets
00:46:24.420 are gonna buy either a bronze casket or a very fine hardwood such as you know a mahogany that might be
00:46:33.840 you know where that wood was imported from africa and then depending upon the finished work that goes
00:46:41.100 into it because you know whether you know it'd be flat top and you know part the finished parkade and
00:46:48.380 everything else that's that's a very expensive casket and then also you know they've got some that are
00:46:55.660 48 ounce bronze you know and kind of look like they've kind of they almost look gold almost you
00:47:02.860 know and you can see like some of the celebrities have been buried in you know some of those like
00:47:07.660 um i'm thinking of michael jackson and you know i think um let's see whitney houston i think was in a
00:47:15.100 um was in like a millennium that that baits will makes and so you know they some places will use that
00:47:22.920 as a selling point you know because the casket companies used to furnish a list basically every
00:47:29.560 year every couple years of recent celebrities and what caskets that they used really uh-huh and what
00:47:36.060 happened to that list you think i think that you know as they've as things have come come on they've
00:47:42.480 just quit publishing it but you know for instance there used there's a company it's now owned by
00:47:49.340 batesville casket company but it used to be called marcellus casket company and they made the finest
00:47:55.840 hardwood caskets in the world and oh yeah amen and so what they would do is they would make
00:48:03.260 um they would make these caskets and one of them was called the president and the other is called
00:48:11.460 the president carved top and the difference between them is the one that's the carved top
00:48:16.560 it has a lot of carvings on it but you know jfk and you know a lot of those presidents were buried in
00:48:24.700 those two different caskets and so it was called the president carved top and the president now when
00:48:31.400 ronald reagan died he was put in a marcellus and it was called the masterpiece and the reason they
00:48:38.540 called that the masterpiece was that because it had barbecue sauce in it out that casket was so big
00:48:46.240 that it would not fit in a standard burial vault and so you know of course ronald reagan was put in a
00:48:54.800 mausoleum that was designed to where it would accommodate that casket but you know that's
00:49:01.380 that's a little bit larger casket than your standard casket and so you know that's that's
00:49:08.500 probably you know you see that you know we sell some mahogany caskets and if we've got somebody
00:49:15.000 that's going to spend a lot of money most of the time they buy a mahogany casket because the look
00:49:20.160 of mahogany you know it looks really good oh yeah and you know that's what oh god that's what
00:49:25.820 that's what they want they like that warmth and the beauty of the wood some people find metal
00:49:32.140 whether it be any type of metal to be more cold rather than you know warm like woods so
00:49:41.240 and how pricey does that get what's the priciest deal you guys have ever put in the ground man
00:49:46.000 probably you know somewhere over 50 you know 50k huh man and do people on average spend more money
00:50:02.240 put burying men or burying women probably women because a lot of times um you know the men will
00:50:12.600 care less but now because they will say you know because if you think about it most people are
00:50:19.440 thinking well you know of all the sacrifices mama made and you know what mama did for you
00:50:25.120 and everything else and you know daddy always said just put me in a in a pine box or throw me in the
00:50:31.140 ditch or whatever but mama i mean this is mama mama took care of you every need you know we got to do a
00:50:36.760 little bit better for mama yeah mama love you yeah we got to do something for mama mama and jesus always
00:50:41.740 loved you theo yeah amen man so once you get the body you got it you got it embalmed what do you
00:50:50.440 guys what other things you have to do to the body to make it look presentable if you're going uh
00:50:54.280 open casket well we do their cosmetics and of course we'll dress them in the clothes that the family
00:51:00.620 brings and sometimes that's suit and tie and sometimes that's overalls and you know flannel shirt
00:51:07.420 whatever the family wants can you go full naked or not can you go nude if you want uh that's
00:51:12.240 probably i'd be frowned upon you know because you know that we wouldn't want to make some people feel
00:51:18.340 bad you know if they weren't you know as well endowed you know if you were full nude and you know
00:51:23.960 they'd be like uh or might make them feel better about themselves you know i just really don't know
00:51:28.540 it'd be interesting to get a look at that body fully nude at the end i think it almost would make
00:51:33.220 it a little bit more like okay they're headed they're part of life than they are like it's
00:51:39.340 trying to make them still look alive but you know you think about maybe maybe more people have seen
00:51:46.340 you fully nude and more would expect that but most of the time you know they want that image as close
00:51:52.180 to how they can remember that person so unless you know america's used to seeing you fully nude
00:51:57.260 they probably would much rather see you with clothes on yeah yeah that's true i think and especially if
00:52:02.920 you're going to eat after yeah because you know a lot that's a big thing is you know the meal after
00:52:08.560 the funeral because you know a lot of times either churches will host it or a family member will host
00:52:13.500 it at their house and do you guys get invited to that or no sometimes and a lot of times we'll get
00:52:18.300 invited and if we're not really busy then we'll go but you know sometimes you know right after this
00:52:24.120 funeral we've got another one getting ready to start so we don't have time to hit up all those meals
00:52:29.060 and have you ever accidentally had the had the wrong body in a cat in a closed casket no no because
00:52:35.220 we take we have lots of procedures to make sure you know that we don't do that okay and then especially
00:52:41.020 since you know we're a smaller town you know a lot of times we'll know the person and so it'll be like
00:52:47.340 oh yeah that's so-and-so you know that's randy that's randy so he goes in this casket that's
00:52:52.700 he goes in this casket so is there any do you oh no so i don't forget about this what else do you
00:53:01.000 have to do to the body you put the cosmetics what about like the orifices and stuff how do you make
00:53:05.400 sure that there's no leaking coming out of the body or there's no you know something's not going to come
00:53:09.540 out of someone's nose or eye okay now that goes back to the embalming process because the majority of
00:53:16.560 the time as part of the embalming process we do a treatment of the organs and the cavities
00:53:26.080 and that's where we use what's called a trocar okay and we use that to puncture and suck out
00:53:34.320 all the contents of the organs oh wow yeah so so you have to suck out whatever's in the stomach and
00:53:42.960 everything right wow what do you how does that go okay so you've got a trocar trocar is probably you
00:53:49.960 know about that long and what is it it's it's a metal tube and it's you got a handle and it's got
00:53:58.460 it's got a pointed end and the way that it works is there's slots and holes in it and it's hooked up
00:54:07.120 to what's called a hydro aspirator so water's running through that creating a suction okay and
00:54:15.000 so what you'll do is you'll come two inches above and to the right of the navel and you'll stick that
00:54:23.100 in and you'll just move it around and that's the stomach uh-huh you'll just move it around and you're
00:54:28.560 puncturing all the organs and sucking out their contents have you ever seen like liposuction
00:54:34.480 on the discovery channel whatever how they're moving it around and everything else it's kind
00:54:39.200 of like liposuction and can you tell what what have people eaten the most usually most of the time
00:54:45.240 you can't tell what you know what foods it is because of the breakdown but what you can tell is
00:54:52.160 you can tell like for instance you know what organ you're hitting based on you know what's the color
00:54:58.820 of the fluid that's coming out of it you ever been able to tell a food no never not even like a lucky
00:55:03.940 charms or anything not not not that way now sometimes like if we've had somebody who's
00:55:09.420 choked to death you know you've seen the food you know still you know when you've cleaned out their
00:55:15.440 mouth or whatever you've seen the food still in there you know and how far down if people choke
00:55:20.180 to death is the food pretty far down or it's kind of close you think well it just depends you know
00:55:24.360 because a lot of times it's pretty i would say it would be pretty far down but then when they try to
00:55:30.520 save them some of that gets brought back up closer to the surface but you know they were if they were
00:55:36.680 unsuccessful and i've now got them in my possession then you know they were unsuccessful then
00:55:42.300 since you've seen so and now what about what about the mouth and the eyes and stuff like that do you
00:55:49.300 have to do anything to keep them from like just swinging open or the ears well part of the one of the
00:55:54.620 the first things that we do in the embalming process is we wire the mouth shut and so we take
00:56:01.400 and we put we put what's called it's a needle injector or an injector needle and we put one
00:56:09.820 up here and one down here dang and then we wire their mouth shut thank god man and i need it a lot
00:56:18.880 of these women need it and i need it too and then a lot of times to get that good mouth closure or
00:56:24.920 whatever you'll put a little piece of cotton in there to elevate you know like a lip or something
00:56:29.540 if it's drooping and everything else now your eyes we have what's called eye caps and those look like
00:56:36.160 contacts with ridges and then we'll put those you know under your eyelid and use that to help keep
00:56:42.360 your eyes closed oh so you'll go eyes closed has anybody ever tried to open the person's eyes when
00:56:47.140 they're deceased not to my knowledge of course a lot of times we'll come back and put a thin little
00:56:52.800 bead of glue on there and the lips so you know that they're also glued you know that's an extra
00:56:57.580 layer of protection dang i respect that yeah yeah because you don't want somebody you don't want
00:57:03.160 somebody peeping you know at the funeral yeah you want somebody looking out yeah now what he did now
00:57:08.100 what uh does anybody ever try to come in and see somebody after they've been dead for a little bit
00:57:12.900 after you know anybody come knocking on the door you guys are already running the hoses and
00:57:16.980 everything and they got somebody saying i want to see them one more time oh we you know sometimes
00:57:21.740 like if you're some sometimes i think what you're talking about is like if somebody shows up before
00:57:29.120 you know we're done embalming and they want to see them then yeah then we don't we don't allow them
00:57:35.820 to come into the prep room to see them they'll have to wait till the public visitation or you know
00:57:40.860 even if it's a buddy or something yeah even if it's a buddy wow you know when because we take that
00:57:46.780 very seriously you know the private the family's privacy so if they've like if when we have public
00:57:52.620 when we have private family visitation oh yeah it's private family visitation and you know you don't
00:57:58.680 get to see them if you're just a buddy you don't get to see them till that public time i don't care
00:58:03.940 you know what you why you need to see them earlier if the family's not going to give you permission
00:58:08.580 you'll see them you know during the public visitation a friend of mine works in the death trade and
00:58:13.980 he's up in uh oregon you know and he said probably about well he worked in it about 20 years ago he
00:58:19.380 said somebody got died one time in the town he was working in and then while he was out at lunch they
00:58:24.500 came in and stabbed the guy a couple more times just to make sure he was dead goodness pretty wild
00:58:30.120 huh yeah yeah he must have not been well liked yeah he must have not been well liked sounds like your
00:58:35.660 friend should have locked the door yeah yeah i think he was kind of he was smoking weed and stuff like
00:58:40.920 that um how do you guys keep jovial when you're working around the dead like that you know it's
00:58:46.480 just it has to be it has to be in you because you have to be able to separate the fact you know that
00:58:53.880 you're doing you're doing what you can for that family because there's no greater honor for somebody
00:59:00.900 to entrust their loved one to you you know because you think about you know this is their this is their
00:59:08.780 prized possession this is their mother their spouse their you know their child oh yeah and
00:59:14.260 they've entrusted that to you there's no greater honor than that and you do what you can to you know
00:59:21.240 treat them with integrity you treat everybody like it's you know your family member and the way that
00:59:26.660 you'd want to be treated and so you know we are very careful we make sure you know there's we've got
00:59:33.000 you know well for one thing you're not going to get in our facility unless we open the door for you
00:59:41.240 you know because the facility's locked you know and during public visitation we've got a greeter on
00:59:47.120 all the doors and everything else so we we know who's coming in and out of the building if it's
00:59:52.480 somebody you know before before the nobody's sneaking backstage yeah because the back areas are always
01:00:00.480 locked and everything else and so it's not easy to you know just sneak in there and do anything so
01:00:06.620 do you feel like you learn anything more about life or or do you feel like like have your thoughts and
01:00:15.120 feelings changed over the years working in the death trade i think it's you don't take it for granted
01:00:21.120 because you know that you can you can be here today and gone tomorrow you know i could get killed in a
01:00:28.480 car wreck going home and you know am i happy have i had a good life yes i've had a good life we do
01:00:35.680 good numbers on the episode if you did though too that's that's right not to say that out loud but
01:00:40.760 that's right hey hey if it can help you uh you know that that'd be all right that'd be all right
01:00:46.940 you know i went out helping somebody else amen man we got a question right here what do we have
01:00:51.680 here sean we've got a uh question from uh nick hey guys what's up this is nick from wisconsin
01:00:57.620 um got a heavy hitter for you so over the course of your career how has your attitudes and emotions
01:01:04.660 towards death changed and evolved anyways be good gang gang gang baby yeah how have you how have
01:01:12.480 do you find yourself getting more emotional as you get older with it is it hard because it just becomes
01:01:18.200 also work like it's tough when things just become work you know right right you know it's the hardest
01:01:26.320 part of our job is when we're dealing with children and because you know it's unnatural that a parent
01:01:34.260 should have to bury a child and you know it's hard on that parent whether the parent's 90 years old
01:01:41.580 and their child's like 60 and dies it's hard it's even harder when somebody's 20 years old
01:01:48.420 and you know their seven day baby dies you know all that's hard you know and you you still grieve with
01:01:55.940 them but you know the thing is at this time you know i have to be their rock i have to be the person
01:02:02.720 that you know you come to me i want to handle it you know whatever you need i want to handle it you put
01:02:09.120 the weight of the world on my shoulders that's what i'm here for is there a moment where is there
01:02:13.640 been times where you you've just broken down it's just been tough i mean there's got to be times i
01:02:17.440 mean there's times where it's been tough you know and it's you know and you know you'll just see it
01:02:22.700 you know and you just got to you just got to keep on going what are the toughest times though you know
01:02:28.680 i'll never forget um one time i had um two you know i had um i just completed my my apprenticeship
01:02:40.860 and you know i was fresh out of school and i had a um i had a um friend from high school
01:02:49.740 who had taken his life and i remember i got the call and you know that was tough you know because
01:02:56.840 my cousin had dated him and everything else and that was hard then
01:03:01.720 why'd he do it do you remember no no then fast forward later i have you know it's almost exactly
01:03:13.480 a year later another friend gets killed in a head-on collision and then another like right after that
01:03:23.160 another friend dies with an enlarged heart that nobody knew he had oh yeah and so so you can see
01:03:32.620 that all those things play and play an influence on you and but you know you just have to keep on for
01:03:39.000 the family and you know you know i'll take my time and i'll grieve later but you know right now i have
01:03:45.660 to be strong for that family yeah because that's what i'm you know that's what i'm here for has it
01:03:51.100 adjusted your relationship with a higher power with faith is that have had things changed for
01:03:55.720 you over the time or you know what what is what's that journey been like in dealing with the uh
01:04:01.360 deceased you know i've i've always had a strong faith but you know when you look at the human body
01:04:08.520 and you look at everything that goes into it and how the how every system of the body works and
01:04:15.860 everything else you know that that that was laid out you know that that just that that just didn't
01:04:20.920 happen and the fact that you know we don't understand everything but you know there's there's a god
01:04:30.120 that's there that does and he knows and we you know there's times that we think that we would have
01:04:36.480 had a better way that we would have had a better plan that it wouldn't have been good for this person
01:04:40.840 to die but we don't know we've just got to wait till we get there and maybe we'll understand it
01:04:46.040 one day at a time or you know at the end but you know you just got to keep on going you just got to
01:04:52.440 you know have trust and faith and go on does it still feel like a human you're working with does it feel
01:05:00.140 like just a carcass like what what is kind of that feeling you know because if i'm carrying a human body
01:05:06.080 that's alive you know it's a that's one feeling but if i'm carrying just a deceased human body i'm
01:05:11.980 wondering if that's a different feeling you know i think that any time that there is
01:05:19.720 a dis deceased versus alive person there is that difference yes but the same thing at the same time
01:05:29.280 you know that even though they're the deceased is not there you know as far as what made them there
01:05:38.040 like the spirit um that body still deserves that respect because that was the shell that either held
01:05:45.500 that body for one day or 99 years or 100 years you know so it's still it's still all there you know
01:05:53.340 and still have you seen any uh kind of going in a different direction here but is there anything
01:05:59.960 like with covid deaths have you seen more deaths or anything like that not really because you know
01:06:05.540 everything the same number of people are basically still dying it's just that you know if they've had
01:06:15.180 anything else but they've got covid right they're you know they're saying oh it's a covid you know yeah
01:06:20.600 the person might have had covid but they actually died from pneumonia well instead of counting that
01:06:26.420 death is attributing it to pneumonia they're going to say oh covid you know or they might have had
01:06:31.580 they might have actually died from cancer but they also had covid so covid yeah they call yeah they
01:06:37.140 covid them up yeah people get covid no matter everybody like yeah it's like oh they had this but
01:06:42.240 they also had covid you know it's like can somebody die can somebody still just die from natural
01:06:47.080 causes or does it all have to be covid right you know and there's a lot of families right now
01:06:52.140 that are very upset about that and they'll and sometimes we'll go to a house or whatever and
01:06:57.980 they'll be like he didn't die of covid she didn't have the covid make sure that they don't put covid on
01:07:03.680 the death certificate really and it's like well you know the doctor the doctor's the one that fills that
01:07:08.260 portion of the death certificate out but we'll make sure to tell them that they didn't have covid
01:07:12.940 because there's a lot of people who are so tired of hearing about it that they're you know that they
01:07:20.860 want to make sure that their loved one isn't a statistic for something that they don't you know
01:07:26.800 that they don't necessarily it's not that they don't believe in it but they don't want them to
01:07:31.200 just be a covid statistic yeah you know a talking point for somebody that they don't like now what
01:07:36.960 about this what's a wild thing somebody wants to have in there when they die somebody throw in a
01:07:40.800 can of ruffles or somebody put a little couple star bursts in there or something okay you know
01:07:45.460 it's it's not uncommon a big thing a lot of people will take cigarettes with them you know because you
01:07:51.920 take somebody who's oh yeah boy you know they'll put those they'll put that you know cigarettes in
01:07:57.160 that shirt pocket you're gonna want that smoke good if you did if i'm dead bro light me up a damn 100
01:08:04.040 baby you know what i'm saying i'm burning a fucking winston dog if i'm dead man i ain't milling around
01:08:10.620 you know i've had you know you know a lot of people put pictures of themselves you know and
01:08:16.200 what about a joint somebody sneak a joint in there sometimes um i'm not gonna say that that's never
01:08:20.460 happened because you know when we're when we're standing back up there and the family goes up for
01:08:25.600 their final viewing there's no telling what they can stick in there you know i've had i've had some
01:08:30.840 very interesting stuff you know i had somebody request to be buried with their shotgun amen you know so
01:08:37.200 they took their shotgun with them you know what about can they now somebody requests to be buried
01:08:41.820 with an eight ball you know and i'm not talking bowling i'm talking that cocaine baby can you make
01:08:47.160 can you make do you have to do that well the thing about it is since that would be an illegal drug
01:08:53.400 you know we wouldn't be required to do that but you know if somebody if somebody were to bring that in
01:08:59.220 and you know stick it up under the foot of the casket you know i'm not i don't keep a drug
01:09:04.060 sniffing dog at the funeral home so it might just go on through you know it might just go with them
01:09:08.700 it might go with them yeah so yeah that's one thing there's no tsa when you're flying up to heaven
01:09:13.480 that's right that's right you're not gonna be you're not gonna be searched you know so now uh
01:09:19.760 what's the wildest thing somebody's put in there somebody ever put something that's a little too big
01:09:23.480 in there you know somebody got to put a little chainsaw or a leaf blower or something if somebody
01:09:27.880 died doing a uh you know during a dangerous you know leaf blowing or something you know
01:09:33.580 no i don't think they've had any power tools or anything like that you know sometimes you have
01:09:41.060 like stuffed animals or whatever you know even for like an older person they'll bring like stuffed
01:09:46.240 animals they'll bring blankets sometimes and you know we've had um you know like fishing rods you know
01:09:54.440 stuff like that that have gone with them but you know as far as you know i've never put i don't
01:09:59.580 think any power tools in there but i'd go with a damn sander or something you know so what are you
01:10:06.040 going to use that sander for who knows but here's it but i'll tell you this if you show up and you're
01:10:10.900 the only dude with the sander you're going to be you're going to be steady working that's right but
01:10:15.700 we're not supposed to work in the afterlife but i'm sure there's a couple opportunities to make a
01:10:19.900 you always want a side hustle don't you i want that side hustle now do you take those items out
01:10:26.080 or those those items go on the family gets it's the family's choice if the family wants something
01:10:31.580 in there for visitation and then they want that back we'll take it out but if they want it to go
01:10:36.200 with them it goes with them now you close the casket during the if it's an open casket you guys
01:10:41.460 close it during the procession or funeral deal it depends on when the family wants that closed you
01:10:46.720 if they want it closed at the beginning of the service some families like for everybody to file
01:10:51.940 by at the end one final viewing and then after that after the family goes up for their final viewing
01:10:57.400 then we close the casket so a lot of times that's up to the family and so um and now is it hard for
01:11:04.820 you personally do you have trouble is it tough to meet women or something like that if you're working
01:11:08.300 in the death trade you know i could imagine it might be a little bit of a or is it kind of a
01:11:13.860 talking point you know well you know it's one of those things that you know that they that they
01:11:20.680 might be interested in that they might have a few questions but you know it's not i would not say that
01:11:26.160 it's a chick magnet you know i'd you know that they're flocking towards the undertaker because you
01:11:32.120 know the thing about it is when that call comes in i'm going on that call so you know if i'm on call
01:11:41.420 you know i'm going to be leaving at the middle of the night and everything else and a lot of people
01:11:46.540 you know they get you know they don't like that yeah they don't like that you that you're going to
01:11:51.320 be gone for that they don't like that you've got to work on the weekends at night holidays that you
01:11:57.640 miss birthdays and everything else you know because it's a big commitment you know when you're when
01:12:02.600 you're working in the death care business because it's 24 7 damn i mean because there's i probably
01:12:09.320 since since i've been involved in the funeral business i've probably spent as many few holidays
01:12:14.720 at the funeral home as i have at my house wow and so it's 50 50 split huh that's right you just don't
01:12:22.120 ever know and you know that's the last thing that you know a girl wants to be on the way to a nice
01:12:28.120 dinner then oh i've got to go to the funeral home and and they ever bring a date over there
01:12:32.720 which in to say this no no no because then no keep i keep them keep them pretty separate yeah
01:12:40.940 is it tough dating in a small town is it tough dating in a small town you know it it depends
01:12:46.260 especially especially when you're in our business because you get to know the families oh yeah and
01:12:54.780 you know because you're spending three or four days sometimes with the family in the um in that
01:13:01.320 and you really get to know them and sometimes you become like family to them and sometimes you're
01:13:07.620 like oh stay away from them you know sometimes you learn a little too much yeah you learn a little
01:13:12.320 too much and so that that makes you want to shy away from you know some of them anyway so do families
01:13:18.280 uh can somebody get buried with their money if they want to if they want to bring it in they could
01:13:24.380 get buried with it have you ever had somebody that that was their request and they put it in there
01:13:28.120 not all their money you know i've i've had people you know want to get buried you know with you know
01:13:33.460 granddaddy always wanted him kept a you know a two dollar bill or you know he always had change in
01:13:39.720 his pocket you know didn't want to go anywhere without a little money you know i've had that but
01:13:43.920 i've never had anybody say we're going to put a million dollars in this casket yeah because you know
01:13:49.440 then you then you get to the age-old question if you put a million dollars in there let's say you
01:13:57.840 put a million dollars in there in cash and then if somebody were to take the cash and write you a
01:14:04.540 check for it you've still got a million dollars
01:14:07.080 so so nobody normally puts cash in there they just maybe we'll put a check yeah so i guess if you
01:14:16.440 wanted i guess if you wanted to go with a million dollars we could write you a check for a million
01:14:20.440 dollars because you wouldn't be able to cash it yeah yeah i'd rather send the check yeah just in
01:14:25.300 case later you decide dang i wish i had that cash yeah yeah yeah but nobody ever puts a million dollars
01:14:30.860 or anything in there you know so um have you noticed over time that people bury used to bury nice
01:14:38.020 things with people and now they just kind of bury whatever with them you think has there been any
01:14:41.880 been able to notice anything like that you know most of the time people if it's something of real
01:14:46.880 value they keep it and they pass it down in the family or whatever you know you especially jewelry
01:14:52.620 and stuff like that and of course now with you know there's so much stuff that you know people are
01:14:59.720 using like costume jewelry and stuff like that that people are wearing rather than buying you know
01:15:06.180 real expensive jewelry that they're doing that they're doing that and especially for um especially
01:15:12.900 for your older people because as they as they get sometimes dementia and stuff like that the family's
01:15:20.720 already taking their good jewelry away from them so they don't lose it because you know they don't
01:15:26.480 want them to keep the good jewelry in the nursing home or stuff like that and you know because
01:15:32.600 they'll you know they'll lose it or somebody will steal it or whatever now i have had families bring
01:15:38.920 in really nice jewelry for the visitation and the funeral and then they want that back and so have
01:15:45.520 you ever stolen anything from anybody no sir no sir that that'd be bad for business yeah be bad for
01:15:52.400 business man i didn't think you had but i just had to ask you um we got any other questions that came
01:15:56.880 in that are unique yeah we uh ross has another question about caskets at the i'm out here in new
01:16:02.240 york just a quick question for the mortician open casket or closed casket me personally that open
01:16:08.460 casket if it was me i'd feel a little disrespected i'm not gonna lie you know but now that's it gang
01:16:16.120 gang bro how you go man how do you suggest you know you got the you know you've been around the way
01:16:21.540 you're really the rex ryan of death right here so how what do you say it depends upon how they look
01:16:27.460 i think that the family should have should be able to have an open casket if the person resembles
01:16:34.740 himself but you know if they've been in very bad trauma if they've been you know in a situation
01:16:41.560 where you know they don't cliff fall or something yeah car wrecks you know something like that but you
01:16:48.680 know if they look like themselves i think the family fire face fire yeah face fire you know
01:16:53.880 bush hog you know oh yeah oh i should drive a bush hog man accidentally killed a deer man that was
01:17:00.960 just sleeping one time yeah felt horrible about that still feel bad about it but uh so you're saying
01:17:08.720 if they look decent enough you'd go open casket you're gonna go oc you think i think so dang you
01:17:14.700 heard it that's right that's that's my plan i want everybody to see me one more
01:17:18.600 time yeah now some people the it start their faces get fat i noticed that the last funeral i went to
01:17:26.260 people's face get fat when they lay them down like that well some of it could be that they
01:17:31.740 that they swelled them during the embalming process or if they were in the hospital for a
01:17:37.220 for a long time that could be part of it or sometimes if you've got somebody who kind of has
01:17:43.200 jowls and you know well when they lay back those fall back and so it doesn't make them look like
01:17:49.220 themselves because that should be that should be up here whereas it's laying back how hard is that
01:17:54.500 body when it's laying in the casket is it pretty hard it depends upon how how hard you set it up and
01:18:01.740 what i mean by that is this embalming fluid the more you put in the more it's gonna harden somebody up
01:18:09.920 so you can set them up like really really hard but the problem with that is it's going to
01:18:16.740 dehydrate them a lot so basically you can do that but they're going to turn more to leather and they're
01:18:22.860 not going to feel like a human body and they're going to dehydrate and so it's going to require
01:18:28.780 a lot more cosmetics and stuff and make them look unnatural damn
01:18:32.360 is there any perfect way to do it man i can't believe there's only embalming and creaming
01:18:41.620 or cremational but i think i'd love to be damn wrapped in bacon or something you know i'd love
01:18:47.660 to be this you know i'd love to be uh what's the one where they cut you open and put cheese in you
01:18:53.300 you know um stuff cordon blue or i go stuff for a son stuff crust to be great and so now they do have
01:19:02.180 sometimes we do what's what's called like a green burial and that's where somebody is still buried
01:19:09.600 but they're not embalmed and so they don't want to be embalmed and they just want to be more natural
01:19:15.720 and sometimes they'll be you know just like in a wood casket and buried in a cemetery without a vault
01:19:23.760 and everything else because they want to go back to the earth as quickly as possible and is that
01:19:29.320 growing in popularity um in some areas it is but you know the jews don't embalm an orthodox jew does not
01:19:37.780 embalm wow um that's one of the things you learn when you're in mortuary school is different religions
01:19:44.540 and kind of how their preference is and um i'm not for sure if you know this but i went to mortuary
01:19:51.500 school here in nashville there's a mortuary college in nashville it's called john a gupton college and
01:19:59.120 it's over on church street and one of the things that they do is your last semester of mortuary school
01:20:07.180 they assign you to work one day a week at a funeral home as part of your schooling so they've got certain
01:20:13.740 funeral homes that they'll assign you at and i worked at one here in nashville and it was and it
01:20:20.220 was the jewish funeral home wow and so so there's no embalm in there there's not for the jews and they're
01:20:27.420 real they're real strict about it and so basically why it's just kind of in their doctrine yes and they
01:20:34.740 would have they have the guild that comes and washes the body and wraps the body and prepares the body
01:20:43.320 it's a sect from the church and then we would put the body in what's called an errand and what that is
01:20:49.640 is that's a jewish casket that's entirely made of wood wow and then we would take it to the cemetery
01:20:55.380 and bury it how quickly pretty quick pretty quick normally normally if they died normally if they died
01:21:02.800 today it would be by sunday on the next day how fast can you get me in the ground if i die you guys
01:21:08.840 do any like eight hour packages or anything like that we can get you in the ground pretty quick
01:21:12.460 depending upon the cemetery amen so i you know used to and how deep can you get me can i go 12 feet
01:21:19.740 or it's only six no you can go you can go deeper because cost more no it's as long as the ground's good
01:21:27.300 you know because sometimes you you've gotten cemeteries and you get down so far and it's solid
01:21:33.660 rock you know you hit that bedrock and everything else but like for instance there's cemeteries such as
01:21:40.420 a lot of veteran cemeteries they do what's called double depth and so like if you've got a husband and
01:21:47.700 wife they'll they'll put the first one that dies they'll put them down you know probably 10 to 12 feet
01:21:54.820 and then and then when the second one dies they'll dig down part of the way and then they'll put them
01:22:01.520 there and so they're they're double depth now different states have different requirements and most
01:22:08.500 people you know have that ingrained in their head that oh i'm six feet deep well in the state of
01:22:14.540 kentucky the law says that if you're if you're in a burial vault there only has to be 18 inches of dirt
01:22:22.020 on top of you now most of the time there is more than that but that's what the but that's what the
01:22:27.820 that's the minimum legal requirement so you could go shallow here over in kentucky you go 18 inches
01:22:32.740 damn anybody do it still sometimes i mean most of the times not but but you know and what it is
01:22:39.340 it's used to when when graves were dug by hand they used to be sometimes more shallow than they are now
01:22:45.820 when they're dug by by machine you know i'll tell you when i was growing up they had a man who in our
01:22:50.820 neighborhood who died and uh and they buried him in the backyard they buried him in their backyard
01:22:57.460 and they invited me and this one kid over there to the to the service and we didn't know what a
01:23:01.340 service was we never seen it or anything you know and they said you want to come to a service and we
01:23:05.760 thought maybe it was like tennis or something you know but um we got back there and next you know
01:23:10.980 we're all sitting in these folding chairs and they're burying this this dude this old dude mr
01:23:14.880 palito and they just put him in the ground man and they said anybody want to say anything and
01:23:20.360 my friend summer all do this young fella he said grace like you would say over dinner you know he
01:23:26.440 didn't know what to say you know so his little wild ass said uh god is great god is good god we thank
01:23:32.380 you for this food and i just remember standing there just being like what in the hell's going on
01:23:37.060 you know um do some families still just bury their own um they're they have to be buried you can't be
01:23:47.240 just buried on your property unless there's a cemetery there now how do you get it legally
01:23:52.080 cemeterized um well if it's just a family cemetery it's the biggest difference is whether or not you're
01:24:01.140 going to be selling plots if you sell plots to other individuals that's a whole lot more red tape
01:24:08.280 than if it's just going to be a family cemetery but you have to have it you have to have so much
01:24:13.480 area set aside for the cemetery it has to be reflected in the deed you have to have permanent
01:24:20.260 egress to it and so there's a little bit of work that has to be done and it has to be fenced and so
01:24:26.680 there's some stuff that has to be done legally to make those requirements but if you meet those
01:24:31.060 requirements you're good and do you guys do you get involved at all if it's a family cemetery
01:24:35.680 yes we will still be you know doing the embalming and take them out there and make sure everything's
01:24:41.860 done legally so you can't just go straight from the kitchen table somebody chokes to death and just
01:24:46.020 hold them up in the backyard there's no way to do that route yeah you can't do that because there's
01:24:51.780 got to be a couple steps in between there you guys ever run a coupon deal or anything like in the
01:24:56.220 summer or something like that you know no no we don't ever run that blue but light special or
01:25:00.700 buy one get one free or whatever nothing like that no it would just tank the industry huh that's
01:25:06.200 right i i hate my phone bill i hate it it's expensive i have to give them money but i get to keep using my
01:25:17.240 phone well now premium wireless just got cheaper with mint mobile they're introducing their unlimited
01:25:29.880 data plan for just 30 bucks a month let that sink in just 30 bucks a month how much is your soon to be
01:25:37.740 x wireless provider charging you for people that hate their phone bill and are ready to cut ties with
01:25:44.480 big wireless mint mobile offers their premium unlimited plan for just 30 bucks a month by going
01:25:51.480 online only and eliminating the traditional costs of retail mint mobile passes significant savings on
01:25:58.040 to you use your own phone with any mint mobile plan keep your same number along with your existing
01:26:05.100 contacts and if you're not 100 satisfied mint mobile has you covered with their seven-day money-back
01:26:11.260 guarantee that's right to get your new unlimited plan for just 30 bucks a month and get the plan
01:26:17.080 shipped to your dole for free go to mint mobile.com slash theo that's m-i-n-t-m-o-b-i-l-e dot com
01:26:28.120 slash t-h-e-o cut your unlimited wireless bill to 30 bucks a month at mint mobile.com slash theo
01:26:36.080 oh if you're listening to this past weekend then you probably have some mental health issues like
01:26:44.640 me sometimes it's hard to find help sometimes you might live in a barn you might live in a forest
01:26:51.780 but better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist
01:26:59.240 you can start communicating in under 24 hours it's not a crisis line it's not self-help it is
01:27:05.860 professional counseling done securely online you know you could pull over to the side of the road
01:27:12.920 get on face time with your counselor boom right there better help you can communicate by text you
01:27:20.120 can communicate by phones you can communicate by different ways you'll get timely and thoughtful
01:27:26.900 responses you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions better help is committed to facilitating
01:27:32.440 great therapeutic matches so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed
01:27:37.820 if you need help give it a try better help wants you to start living a happier life today
01:27:44.100 visit betterhelp.com slash theo that's b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p and join the over half a million people
01:27:54.280 taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional special offer for
01:28:00.480 this past weekend listeners get 10 off your first month at betterhelp.com slash theo if you need help
01:28:09.900 look into it and now back to the episode any more questions that came in brother
01:28:16.420 hey theo um mortician um just got back from a run got that zin pack in up top okay um
01:28:30.560 so mr or mrs mortician i was wondering if you've ever uncovered anything inside or like on someone's
01:28:42.340 body maybe that uh hadn't been picked up yet and uh like something kind of like silence of the lambs but
01:28:49.680 uh maybe not as morbid um well i guess um and how did you get into more morticianry thank you
01:28:58.920 i don't know what he means by that first part you ever uncovered something on somebody
01:29:03.980 yeah yeah you ever found yeah i guess you ever gotten somebody back to them to the uh morgue is it
01:29:09.500 called a morgue well where we take it would be back to the preparation room okay you ever get
01:29:15.120 somebody back there and you find something in their pocket you know you find a couple pills or
01:29:18.360 you find a little you know something like that a snack a butterscotch anything like that yeah no i've
01:29:24.100 never really taken you know get gotten anything mighty back there and then just over it oh well here's
01:29:29.800 a handful of pills that was missed or you know something like that and because normally normally
01:29:35.900 they've had they the coroner's office or whoever has checked the body has been pretty thorough to
01:29:42.240 make sure that everything is you know that they kind of do an inventory and that nothing's missed okay
01:29:49.340 because they you know they kind of have to do those steps before they let us take responsibility for
01:29:55.680 the body now what what about with is there one body type ethnicity that keeps a little bit better than
01:30:01.100 others um i would i wouldn't say so you know they you know it's all the it's all the same as far as
01:30:08.920 the body you know and everything else now sometimes um dehydration and stuff if on a pale person when
01:30:19.520 they start dehydrating and they start getting a little bit darker it shows up worse on a pale person
01:30:25.860 yeah than it does somebody who's you know darker skin and what's the final lacquer you can put on
01:30:30.840 somebody how much is it to get a dang just a nice you know i'm talking two coats of just a matte finish
01:30:35.940 you know something uh you know not sherwin-williams but something nice you know douloth or whatever it's
01:30:41.780 called well you know we've got different cosmetics and believe it or not you know most of the time
01:30:46.680 you can um you know you'll just put a light very light coat but then we have sometimes you have to mask
01:30:55.060 somebody and when i say mask somebody that's when you're putting a lot of cosmetics on them
01:31:00.640 because something went wrong what do you mean something went wrong like they felt like they
01:31:05.340 died by some ants or something you know if they died and they you know and they for instance let's
01:31:10.960 say somebody died and they were face down and um nobody found them for a while but what happens
01:31:21.100 is in the body the blood will settle to the lowest point you know the blood starts settling so if so
01:31:30.880 if you're if you die face first downhill then then it's gonna then a lot of the blood's gonna run to
01:31:37.220 the face well what happens as this as that blood runs to the face if it starts in these capillaries
01:31:45.680 on your face if those start getting so much blood in there that they have that they can't handle the
01:31:52.020 pressure they'll pop and once that happens that blood runs up runs out into this tissue and that's
01:32:00.580 that creates a condition that we call post-mortem stain and if it's post-mortem stain you can't really
01:32:08.020 get that out damn bro and all you can do is cover it that post-mortem stain baby i don't want that
01:32:14.500 no so if i die what's the best way for me to die then um the best way for you to die would probably
01:32:21.820 be in your sleep okay but with somebody checking on you so they're so they don't let you just lay
01:32:29.260 there for hours after you die so after i'm dead what should someone just roll me over like every
01:32:33.820 30 minutes or something like what's the best way no they should call me okay well after you die that's
01:32:39.160 what you should do you call you call frank giles that's it you call frank giles that's right
01:32:44.100 that canary baby he'll get over there and help you to the uh help you to the afterlife but what's
01:32:49.180 the best way for somebody to take care of the body do they should you rotate it every 30 minutes or
01:32:53.840 what should you do no just leave it there you know front down or back down oh back down you know head
01:32:59.860 head slightly elevated okay and then so put a book under the head maybe or a pillow okay a pillow is
01:33:05.860 always nice yeah another thing that i want to tell you about that is um are you familiar with jaundice
01:33:12.940 oh yeah my sister had jaundice growing up okay well jaundice will react with formaldehyde
01:33:22.560 so we've got a there's a special fluid that you use for a jaundice body and if if you don't use the
01:33:32.440 correct fluid and you like if if you had jaundice really bad and i just poured this chromatec pink
01:33:39.240 to you well the formaldehyde in it will react with the bilirubin in the jaundice and it will cause
01:33:49.240 the body to turn green just smurf out almost like shrek you be shreked out like green and have you
01:33:56.780 ever has that ever accidentally happened well i've had it happen where we're like somebody died in
01:34:03.760 another state and they sent them in to me and i got this lady one time and by the time she got to me
01:34:10.480 she was green and so then what we had to do was we had to all we could do is cosmetize over it oh yeah
01:34:18.940 because you can't go back in and reverse that and so man so they might be green underneath huh
01:34:26.140 wow could i take a sip of that you think it would would it hurt me oh yeah it hurt you
01:34:31.320 yeah it's you know they've got they've got all kinds of warning labels on their poison you know
01:34:37.540 do not drink and you know and it's also a known carcinogen so yeah so they you know they tell you
01:34:45.120 that you know it's gonna cause cancer if you get if you're exposed to it too much and i still work
01:34:51.260 with it every day wow you know that's the risk i take yeah dang you helping people with cancer you
01:34:57.020 might get it uh-huh damn but you know that's that's why i do what i do you know because i'm
01:35:03.100 helping the family yeah now can you eat near the bodies or not it's frowned upon you know people
01:35:11.280 you know people don't you know it's now you're you're talking about when the preparation's going
01:35:15.860 on yeah that's frowned upon now if you're saying if somebody's let's say you're having visitation
01:35:22.120 and the widow's standing up there you know in the receiving line and she's eating a cracker or
01:35:28.240 sandwich or whatever you know that's her call yeah you know but well what about you while you're
01:35:33.440 fixing the bodies up you know and you guys are there finishing off a ruben or something you ever
01:35:37.520 had yeah no that's frowned upon you know they they oh she doesn't like for you to eat or drink in
01:35:43.860 the prep room damn because sometimes i'd want to have a beer or something by a body you know so
01:35:49.600 that's yeah that'd be frowned upon have you uh had to bury any of your own family uh yes um when i was
01:35:57.440 working there um one of my grandmothers died and so we we handled that i've had some great aunts and
01:36:05.800 stuff like that that have gone through the funeral home since i've had it but both of my parents are
01:36:10.420 still living and all my other grandparents were already dead before i got into the funeral business
01:36:15.120 but i've had lots of cousins and people that i've known who've come through the funeral home
01:36:20.080 do people look at you weird because you work in the death trade uh most of them have gotten used to it
01:36:26.560 now when i was in high school um the principal he and i got along pretty good and he used to always
01:36:32.880 pick on me about it he'd be like hi giles i don't know what you're doing or sometimes he'd just look
01:36:37.880 i mean be like you're sick you're sick and twisted yeah is he dead or not no he's still living he'll
01:36:43.600 die hey i saw him at the funeral home probably about a month ago he said well i see you're still
01:36:50.600 here yeah got your name on the sign say it'll be you soon um now what about our body like now what
01:36:57.380 about like our our colon and feces and stuff like that what happens to that part of us that's that's
01:37:02.620 one of the things that we suck out with that trocar okay you know we'll suck we'll suck that crap out
01:37:07.580 of you dang and how long does it take just depends kind of yeah it depends upon you know what all is
01:37:12.780 in the body and everything else and you know because some conditions we put more fluid on the body and
01:37:20.200 everything like if there's somebody that's very edematous and they've got a lot of extra fluid
01:37:24.960 we put extra fluids in them to kind of get that fluid out and to try to draw that fluid off the
01:37:31.200 body man and uh and so all that just goes down the drain and then what do you put in the colon what
01:37:36.840 do y'all fill it up with we have a different chemical that is very similar to this it looks the
01:37:42.920 same just different color but it's designed to go back in there and to treat those cavities
01:37:47.580 wow what color is it it is kind of a greenish blue okay and do you sew up the butt the sphincter
01:37:55.640 do y'all sew that clothes no no really yeah y'all just leave it open well i mean normally it's you
01:38:02.860 leave it natural dang and that thing stays natural most of the time yes wow so now what if it gets a
01:38:10.020 little unnatural you got a little clip or something a barrette or something you put on there uh it's um
01:38:14.400 more of what would be more like a plug a spackle or something so or you can always y'all caulk it
01:38:21.400 what do you do be honest no it's it's more like a cork more like a plug wow now of course if you go
01:38:29.480 old school old school would be you would stuff it full of cotton because put cotton in somebody's
01:38:36.600 booty like a build-a-bear yeah i guess if you wanted to call it that but there used to sometimes
01:38:43.440 people used to refer to morticians as cotton stuffers because we used a lot of cotton you
01:38:49.540 know to build up different things and you know and so they used to have to put a lot of cotton in
01:38:54.960 there especially when the fluids and the procedures weren't you know and it's great that they used to
01:39:00.100 put cotton you know in basically every orifice that you could leak from they'd stuff it full of cotton
01:39:06.440 oh my thick ass i'd take uh yeah i'd take half a rabbit probably man i'd need a decent amount
01:39:11.980 i'd need a decent amount uh any other good questions we got here let's get to one more and
01:39:16.900 then we'll uh we'll just thank you for for coming right wow what's up you death daddies got a question
01:39:24.920 out there first of all gang gang gang baby i was wondering my granny she used to uh she used to be
01:39:30.080 beautician but she used to you know night night time as that uh mortician okay moonlighting with
01:39:36.460 the deceit and she would go in there and uh she would do the makeup for the deads you know them
01:39:42.120 deceased and i was just wondering because she had some wild stories have you working in there
01:39:49.340 at night time by herself deep in those depths of hell have you ever experienced anything a little
01:39:57.040 nutty a little odd you know anyway gang gang death death baby death dog now yeah because a lot of
01:40:08.580 people probably see you as like a hell boy almost in a way and so have you ever seen like any ever had
01:40:13.600 any spiritual experiences when you're in there like if you ever does it get a little haunty i would
01:40:17.860 imagine it gets kind of haunty huh no it you know it's one of those things that you know you're just
01:40:24.800 there and it's not necessarily like i don't ever feel like you know there's ghosts or anything there
01:40:31.020 you know and i've never had any you know quite crazy or wild experiences with any of the bodies or
01:40:37.660 anything like that i've never you know felt like there was somebody else there or anything like that
01:40:43.300 you know some sometimes people will ask me that question similar to that but yeah no i've never
01:40:49.040 experienced anything like he's talking about wow so in the end of the in the end of it all you're
01:40:57.160 saying you go open casket that's the way to go huh that's the way that i want to go but you know
01:41:02.120 that's my choice and you know at the end it's it's a personal choice and what's what's right for me
01:41:11.000 might not be right for you you know you might want to be burned that's fine that's your that's your
01:41:16.900 choice my choice is i want to be open casket because i want to have you know i want to have one
01:41:22.080 more one more good suit on you know so everybody can see it and everything else yeah and so but that's
01:41:28.500 that's the way that i want to go i want to be dang creme brulee i feel like or honey mustard i want
01:41:33.440 something i'm ready for that next level is there something new on the horizon of burial that's
01:41:38.840 starting to kind of peek its head about anything you're hearing well they're in some states they
01:41:43.800 have this it's similar it's kind of like what they call a flameless cremation but it's very similar
01:41:54.600 like an air dryer kind of no it's more like how you see those old movies where the mob would put
01:42:00.340 you in a 55 gallon drum full of chemicals and then you disintegrate it's more like that but that's not
01:42:07.140 that's not recognized as in some states that flameless cremation yeah it's not recognized in
01:42:14.040 kentucky yet okay but i know a guy who's got that business in missouri and he does it for other funeral
01:42:20.400 homes or whatever because most of them haven't made that investment because it hadn't caught on
01:42:25.600 yet you know some people are thinking that you know freezing people is going to be the next thing
01:42:32.100 right but you know you just you just don't ever know until that next thing gets here and how has
01:42:37.740 the business been is it still a good business to be in it's still a good business to be in
01:42:41.780 now the business has changed a lot from what it used to be what most people don't realize
01:42:47.560 is that there's funeral homes that are what what are considered to be locally owned and operated
01:42:53.680 like i've got a business partner and he and i own the funeral homes what and then there's also
01:42:59.540 corporate funeral homes and those are funeral homes that are owned by your major corporations
01:43:04.620 and i mean they're traded on nasdaq no way i mean you know the stock exchange yeah so you know
01:43:10.520 there's companies that own funeral homes all across the country and you know they just buy and sell
01:43:16.820 funeral homes and they and that's what they do and is that a little bit does that get a little
01:43:21.940 less personal care you feel like when you get involved with those big dogs i feel like some of
01:43:26.100 those big big ones there they're not necessarily in it for the family they're in it for the money
01:43:31.760 and they're just trying to cut corners so they can make more profit you know i i've born and raised
01:43:39.020 where i work and i see those people every day and i work with those are my friends and i'm not going to
01:43:45.180 take advantage of them and i want to treat them with the utmost respect that they deserve and i'm
01:43:51.000 going to do everything i can to make sure that they get a proper burial or cremation if that's what
01:43:55.860 they choose and i want it to be the best that it can for them whereas you've got somebody who doesn't
01:44:01.860 know these folks taking care of them they might not try as hard that's not as important to them
01:44:07.460 you know because the person that lives down the road for me all my life they're important to me
01:44:13.140 they're not important to whoever owns you know some stockholder in california or texas you know
01:44:19.400 deaths are us or someplace exactly exactly and so you know but that's that's the thing you know you
01:44:26.380 always know who you're dealing business with yeah and you know there is something nice about that
01:44:31.140 knowing when you die who's going to handle you exactly because you you know you sometimes i have
01:44:37.040 families that you know they'll call they'll call me on the on my cell phone they won't even call the
01:44:41.700 funeral home number they'll say you know mom dad we need you to come and so here i come yeah it is
01:44:48.720 something nice about knowing the person that's coming in exactly somebody doesn't have to come
01:44:52.200 in with a name tag on or you know uh you know they don't even yeah somebody don't know you right
01:44:58.280 you know somebody that comes up to the door i don't want somebody pulling up and honking
01:45:01.400 you know like it's a you know like i'm gonna carry him out there like the other day i went to
01:45:07.040 went to a you know a house and i did not know the i did not know the deceased but i was standing there
01:45:14.700 talking to the deceased wife and then the son came around the corner because he'd been back in one of
01:45:21.300 the bedrooms getting something for his mother and then he came out of the back bedroom and i knew him
01:45:26.640 you know i went to high school with him so you know so that made her feel better knowing that oh
01:45:32.380 he knows my son for sure gonna take better care of my husband and everything else wow and you know
01:45:38.320 that's what we try to do and is there something killing people that you've noticed more over time
01:45:43.360 like uh you know you always hear about drug deaths and this and that are there things that are growing
01:45:47.340 that you're noticing here at the at the end of the line well you know it was before you know before
01:45:54.660 you know they were talking about you know the the drugs and the narcotics yeah oxycontin all that
01:46:02.160 kind of stuff are you noticing it we were not having that big of an issue there in hopkinsville
01:46:10.840 where they were in some of the other cities where you know and i think it just you know sometimes it
01:46:17.140 takes a little bit longer to work its way through and so drug overdoses were a big thing
01:46:24.260 especially in some of the bigger cities it seems to have tapered off in the moment or you're just
01:46:30.620 not hearing about it but you know that does happen um and sometimes you know if there's one drug
01:46:38.980 overdose you're going to get some more you know especially if you're a batch if that batch comes
01:46:43.920 yeah if a bad batch comes through you know you can see several oh yeah and you know and that's just
01:46:49.440 that's the thing about drugs that people get so dependent upon them that you know you can have
01:46:55.120 a bad batch come through and lose five or six people oh fuck we had about some lsd come through
01:47:00.680 one time and people couldn't even tie their shoes for a damn month you know yeah sometimes you just
01:47:05.040 don't know what these drugs are going to do to you you don't and and some of these cancer drugs and
01:47:11.120 these drugs that these people that they're putting people on to save you know to try to prolong their life
01:47:17.320 are actually having reactions with like the formaldehyde and stuff like that and so you know
01:47:24.380 you're getting sometimes a graying a graying effect or you're getting different effects on the body
01:47:31.400 based on the chemicals that they're putting in them to try to save them and so you don't know that until
01:47:36.260 you really put it in huh exactly and so that's one of the things that you're trying to counteract as
01:47:42.720 to what you know what drugs that they've been on and everything else somebody comes out that damn
01:47:47.620 turkish gold tent or something that's why you've got some of these accessory chemicals that are
01:47:52.380 supposed to help balance out the ph and everything else that's in these fluids it's like treating a
01:47:57.060 pool almost huh exactly exactly because you know part of that part of that that goes in there is water
01:48:03.620 so you got to make sure that the water is good and everything else you ever feel somebody a little
01:48:07.980 too much you're like oh damn we put a little too much in them uh not so not really because it's
01:48:14.700 because as you're putting that in it's still pushing it out so you know it's you're getting
01:48:19.420 it right back out so i see and once so once it stops coming out that's when you know to stop filling
01:48:23.220 well no you you know by the what's coming out you know because you can tell when you when you're
01:48:29.440 draining the blood you know okay this is blood now this is right now i'm getting a lot of fluid back
01:48:35.500 and so you've oh okay you've run its course yeah so you can kind of tell that man i think that might
01:48:43.120 be about it sean you know anything else anything we missed literally huh who has the best funeral
01:48:51.440 music is it really like it but i would feel like at black funerals you'd have better music do you just
01:48:57.600 have it well it just depends i've been to black churches growing up i go to black churches man
01:49:01.620 and dude you feel like you're sitting on the lord's lap you know at a black church right right
01:49:06.520 and you know that's one of the things about it is here in the south you know just like church you know
01:49:15.140 and this is not this is not a racial thing but just like how church is pretty well segregated
01:49:22.060 here in the south so are funeral homes most of the time you know for instance um the can the city that
01:49:30.320 i'm in we have um primarily white funeral homes and primarily black funeral homes yeah that doesn't
01:49:37.740 mean that i won't bury a black person or they won't bury a white person but people really stick to their
01:49:42.660 uh they'll stick to their culture more their culture their upbringing and it's it's who they know right
01:49:49.220 you know they went they've known him all their life and you know they've the others have known me all
01:49:54.600 their life and it's just you know just like how they choose to go to church you know the the church
01:50:00.740 is product predominantly white or black yeah you know that's kind of how they stick to with the
01:50:06.440 funerals because that's oh yeah funerals and your funerals and your church services a lot of them go
01:50:11.380 hand in hand they cross over uh-huh you know one of the things that people don't think about
01:50:16.680 with our job is all the coordination that goes involved that's involved you know throughout
01:50:23.560 the lines when somebody dies or whatever one service that um that i'll talk to you about for a minute
01:50:31.800 um the gentleman was kia and that's military terminology for killed in action amen but he was killed in
01:50:44.700 action in world war ii so he dies in world war ii in the battle of batai
01:50:53.020 he is buried over there on the where in a cemetery that they basically buried all the troops that got
01:51:04.100 killed right there he's buried there oh yeah buffet style they put a bunch of them in one spot you know
01:51:09.280 they would just dig graves they and they had this protocol that they did and they had government
01:51:14.600 issued raincoats and they'd wrap the body up in the raincoat and they'd bury it and then they'd move
01:51:20.300 on to their next battle or whatever well there's organizations out there that are going through
01:51:27.740 and trying to find all these soldiers and bring them back to their homes wow so sure enough i get a call
01:51:36.780 from a family and they have been in touch with one of these organizations and they have found the
01:51:42.560 remains of a guy from our town at that at batai so what they did was they disinterred his body and flew
01:51:51.220 it to hawaii and in hawaii they matched the dna for him to one of his nieces they matched that dna to
01:52:01.440 confirm that it was him and then we started making the arrangements to get him back here so of course they
01:52:09.700 they booked the flight and they said okay he's gonna arrive in nashville at such and such day at
01:52:16.340 such and such time so you guys show up at the airport so we show up at the airport with the
01:52:21.700 family and everything else meet with the airport police at nashville and and where do they come
01:52:28.540 through baggage comes a large item like the golf bag well they they they travel underneath they travel
01:52:34.140 underneath on the plane but um when i was dealing with the airline um the um the airlines like now
01:52:43.900 what's going to happen is we're going to go out there and we're going to bring his body here and
01:52:49.580 you can you know the family can receive the body at the tar you know here baggage claim or actually
01:52:55.540 it's kind of like air cargo oh yeah and um and then the head of the airport police he showed up
01:53:04.120 and i and i started talking to him he said he said these are the cargo people he said i'm in charge
01:53:11.720 he said you want to go out to meet the plane i said yeah i want to go out to meet the plane he said
01:53:17.180 well put everybody in your vehicles and we'll go out and meet the plane and so they brought airport
01:53:22.660 vans and everything else and we went we drove the hearse and everything out to the tarmac wow they
01:53:28.520 brought they brought the you know because we had we had this was pre-covid so we had a full detail
01:53:35.660 of our of you know of army men there and they received the casket you know right off the plane
01:53:41.800 carried him to the hearse and it was you know it was a big deal you know real emotional they had
01:53:48.240 everybody in the um in the area like in the terminal come to the glass windows and they all
01:53:55.380 watched it and they were all holding flags and everything else as they took as they brought the
01:54:00.300 body to the hearse and then after that then we brought him all the way back from out of the tarmac
01:54:07.520 back to hopkinsville and how big was he well they had him in a full-size casket oh damn because what
01:54:14.400 they did was they chronicled they chronicled everything that they had and you believe it
01:54:20.140 was really him or not i do they had they had it down to they had every one of his bones except for
01:54:26.160 one they had it all laid out they had all the dn they had everything about him they had in this book
01:54:33.840 that they gave to the families and everything else we um so we're coming back you know we've got
01:54:39.900 police escorts all the way from nashville all the way you know to to to the kentucky state line
01:54:46.360 and that's when the tennessee people broke off and then when we got to christian county um the sheriff's
01:54:53.040 department was there waiting on us and i bet you they had about eight units there damn and then when
01:54:57.820 we got to the city of hopkinsville the city was there and the community came out big for it and the
01:55:03.800 fire truck you know they took the back big boom ladder and everything else and they had huge
01:55:09.980 american flag draped that we drove under and everything else and we took him out to shit we
01:55:16.660 took him out to the local cemetery that um his that his parents were buried at all his brothers were
01:55:24.460 buried there and we buried him there i mean we even had the pgr there and um you know the pgr is
01:55:32.000 another group that we work with occasionally and what they are is they're called they're the
01:55:36.680 patriot guard riders and they're motorcycle guys and most of them are veterans and everything else
01:55:42.180 but they really got a lot of notoriety back when there was that group from kansas that was going
01:55:49.220 around protesting military funerals you could call the pgr and they'd show up and they would show up
01:55:55.920 and so what they would do is they would ride their motorcycles you know with the funeral and when
01:56:01.580 like if you were coming up to the cemetery or whatever and there was the protesters they'd stop
01:56:08.960 right there and the protesters in front of the protesters and rev those motorcycles up you drive right
01:56:14.740 on by and you never could hear the protesters wow and so that's really magical people come out to
01:56:21.260 support veterans you know yeah it means a lot to people uh especially to those families especially
01:56:25.620 getting to be back with your family i think have your you know just have your rest in place back
01:56:29.760 with your family there's something beautiful about that how uh if you're cleaning out somebody's
01:56:34.680 colon how what if you don't get everything is there a time lady we're like oh i gotta run this
01:56:39.480 thing back again um sometimes you know if you were not to get everything you know you would see some
01:56:46.760 distending distension in the abdomen yep and then you would go back and you would do it
01:56:51.940 and you know you can wash twice yeah damn now now what most people wash me twice put a damn piece of
01:57:00.080 spearman in my ass man you know i'm one i just want to be fresh when i'm laying there what some people
01:57:04.960 don't think about is once like when somebody drowns they sink to the bottom but as they start to
01:57:16.780 decompose and those gases break up in that cavity that's what causes them to float and so sometimes
01:57:27.160 especially back home around the lake you know what will happen is somebody will drown
01:57:34.120 and you know so they're they don't might not find them for a day or two and then you know whenever
01:57:43.340 they start floating up you don't ever know what time that's going to be and sometimes what will
01:57:49.720 happen is they'll float up and they'll get caught up in a barge and you know that's either going
01:57:56.860 either up river or down river wet hitchhiking and they won't notice it until daybreak and then they'll
01:58:04.640 have to stop the barge and then they've got a lot of red tape and everything else and you know
01:58:10.000 they find this person who's from kentucky up in illinois state lines yeah because i'm hitchhiking
01:58:17.300 well exactly now what about this you got that last gas in you your body builds one that that last gas
01:58:23.840 you have to let that out normally normally you can because when we use that trocar and you ever get
01:58:31.460 that hit of gas you ever get that gas pocket you can't hit a gas pocket and it will you know shrink
01:58:37.600 up or whatever but sometimes after you've used that trocar and you've there's a button that we use
01:58:44.520 that's kind of like a screw-in button that we put on the person and if they get distention sometimes
01:58:51.920 you can just take that button off and it'll release that pressure and release that gas and it's like a
01:58:57.560 last fart almost that's in them i guess you could call it that and is it smell pretty bad a lot of times
01:59:03.920 it would yes wow i want that definitely i'm doing one you gotta go out with a with a you know a last
01:59:14.500 blast i think man i can't tell if i'm more excited about dying or not after talking to you honestly
01:59:22.400 frank well you know as long as you've had a good run on earth you know there's time there's always a
01:59:31.640 time to check out don't get in a hurry you only pass this way once that's it huh that's right
01:59:38.200 do you feel like people will talk to you about death a lot oh yeah always got questions do you
01:59:45.080 uh feel like um do you ever have somebody wants to get dressed up in something real wild like a
01:59:50.520 nightgown or somebody wants to be you know dress their little cousin up like superman or something
01:59:55.020 well you know therefore it kind of goes in phases like you'll have phases where you know
02:00:02.260 people will want to be buried in like pajamas and stuff like that and then sometimes you know you'll
02:00:09.180 have we have because we're in kentucky we have a lot of people that like to be buried in you know
02:00:15.160 like uk jersey not necessarily jerseys but it might be a uk fleece or polo okay so state sports yeah
02:00:22.840 pride yes rocking the sports pride all the way to the grave damn wow man you know what will you
02:00:31.020 wear you think oh i'll definitely wear a suit probably a blue one you know probably blue looks
02:00:37.140 good i like blue suits it'll probably either be a blue or black you know probably but it won't be
02:00:42.580 plain it'll have it'll have some type of stripe or weave in it you know okay bright tie you know
02:00:48.420 probably you know maybe a red or you know a yellow something like that something kind of flashy you
02:00:54.840 know as far as a tie so go flash is kind of the way to go you think a little bit so you know i i when i
02:01:00.900 dress i will dress a little less conservative than some funeral professionals but you know because it's
02:01:10.080 you know i'm in a suit every day of my life you know just about every day i wake up and i put a suit on
02:01:16.480 and so and so you know i like to i don't like to just stick with you know a solid brown a solid blue
02:01:25.840 a solid black and a solid gray you know i've got on a gray pinstripe today with a you know a pink tie
02:01:32.260 you know and everything else i'll die in your damn arms right now you look like i'm right you know
02:01:35.960 you're ready to help somebody thank you but you know that's you know that's me you know i've got a
02:01:41.920 couple of suits that are that some people say are a little bright but you know that's that's my
02:01:46.920 personality i like to be you know i'm here when you need me and i'm here for the seriousness of it
02:01:53.380 but you know at the same time you know it doesn't have to be all drab have you ever had somebody die
02:02:00.240 they want to be dressed up like superman or somebody dressed up like a damn you know like a
02:02:04.500 wear like a you know a dress up like he-man or you know a miss butterworth or anything like that
02:02:11.120 somebody wants a particular type of costume um not so much as a costume like we've had people
02:02:17.140 who have worn like a superman shirt or you know something like that and um but you know not a not
02:02:24.400 a real costume leotards and all that no capes you know yeah what what will my penis and stuff look
02:02:32.500 like when i die does it look the same or does it start to look a little different no it'll look pretty
02:02:36.640 much the same nice um and what about like um what happens to fake breasts do y'all puncture them and
02:02:46.260 suck them out or leave no you leave them oh they paid good money for those hell yeah boy you know
02:02:53.560 what i'm saying call me up son i'll come over there and i'll freaking put some makeup on those
02:03:00.880 on those mounds baby wow and do you have to color the nipples at all with like a powder or a dust
02:03:07.000 no because normally those are covered up and what about the balls do you have to suck the stuff out
02:03:12.960 of those no wow
02:03:14.400 interesting man well man i think i'm just dang
02:03:21.760 i guess i just know everything i know now do your eyes stay the same color they were yes that's cool
02:03:33.600 but of course they're closed so nobody really sees them yeah what bone was that guy missing the guy
02:03:41.500 that came back from i'm not for sure i i don't remember now but they had they had it they had a
02:03:48.100 picture in the book that they gave all the family members that had the entire skeleton laid out wow
02:03:54.780 and so what if uh if somebody lost their legs do you bury them in that full-size casket or will you
02:04:04.060 go a little shorter on that on that casket you'll go you'll still use that full size because it's like
02:04:09.820 everything else if you tried to go smaller you're going to be they don't really make smaller caskets on
02:04:17.140 normal so it's going to cost more right whereas you know like if somebody is really big they have
02:04:23.440 to get a bigger casket and there's a company out there or used to be a company out there called
02:04:28.940 goliath casket company wow and there that was their niche market was they made oversized caskets
02:04:36.340 and their two most popular models were 48 inches wide and 60 inches wide so that's four and five feet
02:04:45.060 wide on the interior that's a damn queen bed i mean it was they were big caskets but when you needed
02:04:50.960 them you needed them can two people legally be buried in one casket
02:04:54.880 technically i guess you could depending on most states but you know if but
02:05:03.280 most of the time most of the time they don't go together have you ever buried two in one i have
02:05:10.420 never buried two people in the same casket well let me rephrase that i've never buried two full
02:05:16.460 bodies in the same casket i have buried people like sometimes one of them wants to be cremated and
02:05:23.460 the other one wants to be buried and if the one that's cremated dies first i have put their cremains
02:05:28.380 in the casket with the other one when the other one dies i've done that but i've not put two
02:05:33.720 two full bodies in the same casket could you handle it could i handle it as far as
02:05:42.720 you'd have to have a wider casket but but i mean i guess i could do it if i had to
02:05:49.760 hell yeah but you know we've had um i've had double funerals but they've all been in separate caskets
02:05:56.540 you know and is it cheaper to go two in one casket um no because i'll cut corners man you know
02:06:04.720 because because what happens is it becomes more expensive because of because when you're getting
02:06:12.500 into that bigger size because a bigger size casket is more expensive you know when you're getting wider
02:06:20.960 and then also they're not they're not as many out there as there are standard size caskets and you
02:06:28.180 can't just lay somebody right on top of somebody else that'd be tacky yeah that'd be tacky what about
02:06:32.840 um um what's the smallest casket you've ever done uh it would be like an 18 inch damn yeah like a damn
02:06:44.740 baby snicker almost for like a stillborn baby oh that's heartbreaking man
02:06:51.540 oh life is wild huh yeah one time we had this situation where um the um a lady had had a baby
02:07:04.300 who had died and um the she had the baby had already been dead for 24 hours and was just sitting there
02:07:13.100 with the um with the mother in the hospital room because the mother was still in the hospital
02:07:18.100 and um i remember um i met with the baby's daddy about the funeral arrangements before they even
02:07:29.680 released the body because the mother wasn't letting the baby go wow and so um so i told the baby's daddy i
02:07:39.340 said i said you just go back to the hospital and you tell them i'll be there at six o'clock
02:07:45.100 tonight to pick up the body and when i get there she'll need to give me the baby
02:07:50.720 and i told i got to the hospital signed all the paperwork and everything else and i told the nurses
02:07:58.400 on the maternity ward i said i said um i said i'm gonna go in there and i'm gonna speak to the family
02:08:04.700 and then i'm gonna take the baby on back to the funeral home to go ahead and work on preparing
02:08:09.340 it for the funeral and the um the nurse laughed she said uh she said i want you to know she said
02:08:17.260 she's had that baby for over 24 hours she said and nobody's taking it away from her she said so um
02:08:23.800 good luck with it good luck with that but you'll be here all night wow so you went in there so i went
02:08:30.600 into the to the room there and i spoke to all the family that was there and she gave me the um
02:08:37.880 she gave me the baby and when i walked out of the room with the baby she started screaming and you
02:08:45.180 know because she was so overwhelmed with grief and i could still hear her screaming when i got on the
02:08:51.040 elevator oh and because it's so it's so hard to lose a you know to lose a child it's so unnatural
02:08:58.540 that you don't know how you would react nobody knows how they're going to react until they're in
02:09:03.540 that situation you know it's easy to look look look at it and say oh i would never react that way
02:09:11.780 but you don't know how you're going to react oh yeah i mean i mean that's that's somebody's child or
02:09:18.000 that's somebody's spouse and you know when they get overcome with grief you just got to be there
02:09:24.040 for them and you know if they need to if they need to cry and scream you just got to kind of
02:09:29.120 help them cry and scream but if you know whatever they need to be you know it's you've just got to
02:09:34.940 be there for them you know death brings out the worst in people but it also brings out the best in
02:09:39.840 people so you never know you never know how somebody's going to react you just got to be there
02:09:45.680 for them and what do you carry a baby like that in that that's that that's that size man it's just
02:09:51.140 that's heartbreaking um we wrap them in a baby blanket and we and we carry them just like they
02:09:58.380 were if that you would if they were a live child and do you sit them up in the front seat or do you
02:10:03.060 put them in the back or what do you do um most of the time what we would do is we would um in a
02:10:09.380 situation like that we would have we would take um a car and two people and so one person would hold
02:10:20.000 the baby in the car and the other one would drive wow
02:10:23.220 you know they make they make what is called it's it's like a box that you could put the baby in for
02:10:34.100 um you know to transport it but i'm not putting a baby in a black box that looks like a tackle box
02:10:41.300 to you know or something like that i don't i don't think that's fitting and appropriate so we don't
02:10:46.640 use those type of things wow we just use the baby blanket because babies should be in a baby blanket
02:10:53.100 whether they're alive or dead and they shouldn't be you know they shouldn't be thrown in a box
02:10:58.140 you wouldn't carry a you wouldn't carry you know a live one like that i'm not going to carry a dead
02:11:04.060 one like that amen oh working at the finish line man you're working at the finish line that's right
02:11:11.660 sometimes that finish line's real short to the starting line and sometimes it's real far away
02:11:18.320 but you know you got to be there for all of it wow
02:11:22.480 yeah it's fascinating man uh i don't i think i don't know if there's anything else that i can
02:11:31.020 take out of you today man except just to say thank you very much and
02:11:34.940 and what's the name of y'all's outfit over there it's hugger beard and giles funeral home in hopkinsville
02:11:40.300 kentucky wow well thank you so much man for coming in and just filling us in on everything that's in
02:11:47.080 that world you know frank giles thank you so much today man oh last question when the undertaker
02:11:52.180 remember the wrestler when he really popped off remember yeah did that put a lot of pressure on
02:11:57.000 you guys as uh as undertakers and stuff like that to really take it to another level no but you know
02:12:03.900 a lot of times when when he was really big in wrestling you know it would be you know i would
02:12:09.540 get a lot of comments you know if they'd be like hey undertaker let me be your manager let me be your
02:12:14.680 manager you know let me be your pallbearer you know yeah and so but yeah those were some those were
02:12:20.820 some interesting times but did it put pressure on you to like you know did it make you feel like
02:12:25.700 oh i gotta you know be more athletic or i gotta show up and yell or anything you know like anything
02:12:30.120 that really did it make you did it put any pressure on the industry no no we weren't out there practicing
02:12:35.380 the tombstone power drive or anything like that yeah but uh i didn't it didn't make me go hit the gym
02:12:42.180 or anything like that yeah yeah i just always wondered that man frank giles thank you so much
02:12:48.000 for being here today man really really appreciate it and thanks for just kind of welcoming us into your
02:12:52.780 world and what it's like it seems like uh you're just kind of walking along uh a really unique part of
02:13:03.520 of existence you know you're just kind of you're kind of you're not really guiding people but you
02:13:13.060 are kind of you're just right there with them that's right you know and the thing about it is
02:13:18.880 is it's kind of like if you fall in a hole and your neighbor jumps in that hole with you
02:13:23.660 and you'd say well why did you jump in the hole with me and you know it's well i've been here before
02:13:29.980 and i've gotten i've gotten out and so i'm i'm here you know i've been i've been through it with
02:13:35.960 before i'll guide you right on through yeah amen man well thanks for guiding us through this chat
02:13:41.100 today frank giles we appreciate it well you're quite welcome honored to be here
02:13:44.520 now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be
02:13:53.580 cornerstone oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it
02:14:04.700 in my bones but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself
02:14:17.820 shine that light on me i'll sit and tell you my stories shine on me and i will find a song i will sing it
02:14:39.400 ladies and gentlemen i'm jonathan kite and welcome to
02:15:09.380 kite club a podcast where i'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and
02:15:15.260 seven ways to pleasure your partner the answer may shock you sometimes i'll interview my friends
02:15:21.040 sometimes i won't and as always i'll be joined by the voices in my head you have three new voice
02:15:28.240 messages a lot of people are talking about kite club i've been talking about kite club for so long
02:15:34.540 longer than anybody else so great hi sweetheart he's a deal anyone who doesn't listen to kite club
02:15:42.460 is a dodgy bloody wanker jermaine oh hi i'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a mcflurry
02:15:49.520 sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken oh no i think tom hanks just butt dialed me
02:15:56.340 anyway first rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club second rule of kite club is tell
02:16:02.800 everyone about kite club third rule like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or
02:16:08.780 watch us on youtube yeah and yes don't worry my brad pitt impression will get better
02:16:13.760 thank you
02:16:19.080 you
02:16:19.900 you
02:16:20.360 you
02:16:20.860 you