This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E315 Virtual Gnomes

00:00:00.040 What a year, huh?

00:00:03.180 What a year.

00:00:07.140 Dude, if you had a bag full of years

00:00:10.100 and you pick this one out of the bag,

00:00:13.820 just say they blindfolded everybody

00:00:15.680 and you reach in the bag and everybody gets a year.

00:00:21.800 Dude, this would be,

00:00:23.200 this would be a freaking wild one to draw.

00:00:28.580 What a year.

00:00:30.000 The shake-up, baby.

00:00:34.340 The shake-up.

00:00:37.920 Mother Nature just unleashed that,

00:00:39.920 you know, she unleashed that dirty sauce out into the air.

00:00:46.180 And people getting it, people getting lunged out.

00:00:50.320 On Mother Nature, she threw that dirty dust out into the air.

00:00:54.520 People getting lunged out.

00:00:56.160 People on, you know,

00:00:58.000 just shook.

00:00:59.880 People shocked.

00:01:00.760 People can't, you know,

00:01:02.340 people getting gripped out

00:01:04.460 by the disease.

00:01:06.980 Man, a damn guy in Tennessee

00:01:09.840 blew up a freaking,

00:01:11.260 an RV.

00:01:12.780 A good RV.

00:01:16.260 The guy parked it out in front of a Hooters

00:01:18.140 and damn blew it up.

00:01:22.400 And Twin Peaks is better anyway.

00:01:24.160 And I know, and you know it.

00:01:27.180 And I'm not trying to tell,

00:01:28.320 I'm not trying to preach at you,

00:01:29.360 but I'm just saying,

00:01:29.960 damn, Twin Peaks is better.

00:01:31.120 All the good,

00:01:34.140 you know,

00:01:35.760 tits.

00:01:37.260 All those good,

00:01:38.300 you know,

00:01:38.560 them front bags, baby.

00:01:39.920 You feel me?

00:01:43.240 All them freaking,

00:01:44.400 mmm,

00:01:45.000 them milky headlamps.

00:01:46.240 They've all

00:01:46.960 migrated long ago

00:01:48.920 over to,

00:01:50.780 um,

00:01:52.220 Twin Peaks.

00:01:53.160 I mean,

00:01:55.380 really,

00:01:55.700 the only people

00:01:56.180 still working at Hooters

00:01:57.160 is orange bitches.

00:01:59.220 Let's be honest,

00:02:00.280 and no offense,

00:02:01.620 um,

00:02:02.860 El Perros

00:02:03.960 de Naranjas.

00:02:07.820 But,

00:02:08.420 that's the facts.

00:02:10.060 That's the only people

00:02:11.260 still working

00:02:12.440 at Hooters

00:02:14.380 are

00:02:15.460 mostly,

00:02:17.580 really,

00:02:17.900 teachers assistants

00:02:18.800 who are afraid

00:02:20.000 to do OnlyFans

00:02:21.060 and

00:02:21.940 Orange Bitches.

00:02:24.180 That's facts, man.

00:02:26.580 Dude,

00:02:27.680 that is facts, baby.

00:02:31.340 It's the new year.

00:02:33.720 It's the new year.

00:02:34.960 We did it 2021.

00:02:38.200 We're in the future, baby.

00:02:40.540 This is the future, man.

00:02:42.140 This is,

00:02:42.520 this is what Elon Musk

00:02:44.060 puts on his salad, baby.

00:02:49.460 This is the future.

00:02:50.840 Can you even imagine

00:02:51.840 that we are,

00:02:52.460 this is the future?

00:02:56.320 We are,

00:02:57.140 every,

00:02:57.680 actually,

00:02:58.120 every moment

00:02:58.680 you're doing the future,

00:02:59.580 when you start a word,

00:03:01.860 where you end

00:03:03.000 is in the future, man.

00:03:04.000 That's crazy.

00:03:06.940 Um,

00:03:07.940 we're here.

00:03:08.740 This is it.

00:03:09.280 2021 has been a wild one.

00:03:11.500 Um,

00:03:13.020 I don't even know

00:03:13.500 if I have any music.

00:03:14.180 Do we have any,

00:03:14.940 you know what?

00:03:15.640 There's something on here.

00:03:16.680 Hold on.

00:03:17.080 Oh, yeah.

00:03:21.920 It's that gentle.

00:03:23.820 It's that euthanasia soundtrack.

00:03:31.840 Oh, yeah.

00:03:32.600 It's when your doctor

00:03:36.000 tells you

00:03:36.380 you shouldn't have

00:03:36.800 any more sugar

00:03:37.440 and you just

00:03:38.040 lay in bed

00:03:40.420 and have a damn brownie.

00:03:44.320 Or a snick-a-doodle, man.

00:03:47.980 This is Megan Wofford,

00:03:49.340 Auld Lang Syne.

00:03:50.220 This is that end

00:04:09.560 of somebody's life

00:04:10.340 there, you know,

00:04:10.760 down the street,

00:04:11.400 some man down the street.

00:04:12.660 He's in,

00:04:13.260 his life is ending.

00:04:15.900 And he finally has a,

00:04:18.380 you know,

00:04:18.800 can admit

00:04:19.320 that he molested somebody

00:04:20.860 or did something,

00:04:21.700 you know,

00:04:23.060 you know,

00:04:23.420 threw a frisbee

00:04:24.120 when somebody

00:04:24.560 been down to pick it up,

00:04:25.580 touched it or,

00:04:26.100 you know,

00:04:26.400 did something wild.

00:04:28.620 But he denies it

00:04:29.740 and just goes to heaven

00:04:31.220 or hell.

00:04:38.200 You can hear the frisbee.

00:04:49.320 Oh, yeah.

00:04:55.580 There you go right there.

00:04:57.100 That is

00:04:57.620 Auld Lang Syne.

00:05:01.900 Auld Lang Syne.

00:05:04.580 It sounds,

00:05:05.280 you know,

00:05:05.460 that's the New Year's anthem.

00:05:06.840 People,

00:05:08.160 some people don't know

00:05:09.240 what it's called

00:05:09.720 and it's called

00:05:10.200 Auld Lang Syne.

00:05:13.720 And I had a waiter

00:05:16.340 like that once

00:05:17.100 at a Mellow Mushroom.

00:05:19.740 He would,

00:05:20.060 he just,

00:05:20.400 he made like extra sounds

00:05:21.820 like when he was talking,

00:05:23.240 you know.

00:05:24.440 Like,

00:05:24.840 how do you get

00:05:26.400 you an order?

00:05:27.360 Like,

00:05:27.680 what?

00:05:29.680 You just get

00:05:30.420 a little drink,

00:05:30.980 Siri.

00:05:31.940 Hey,

00:05:32.340 you,

00:05:32.840 you,

00:05:33.180 you need your appetizer.

00:05:36.200 Hey,

00:05:36.540 how do you go in the night?

00:05:37.640 Hey.

00:05:38.520 He like,

00:05:39.060 made his own background noise,

00:05:40.980 you know.

00:05:41.940 He was like,

00:05:42.320 oh,

00:05:42.620 we're gonna see you tonight.

00:05:44.640 He was like,

00:05:45.100 what,

00:05:45.520 dude?

00:05:45.700 Why are you,

00:05:48.680 we all,

00:05:49.160 we have a new,

00:05:51.720 you know,

00:05:52.800 we,

00:05:52.980 oh,

00:05:53.500 oh,

00:05:53.800 we need chicken bisque.

00:05:54.920 Oh,

00:05:55.300 yeah.

00:05:56.760 Like,

00:05:57.220 what,

00:05:57.560 dude?

00:05:58.560 Just tell,

00:05:59.080 you know,

00:05:59.380 if you,

00:05:59.760 just tell me what you have.

00:06:02.240 Good to see you guys

00:06:03.280 and not even see you,

00:06:04.740 really.

00:06:05.600 Just see you with my heart

00:06:06.860 and,

00:06:07.900 and with my imagination,

00:06:09.420 but,

00:06:10.060 um,

00:06:11.580 I just can't,

00:06:12.220 I can't believe we've,

00:06:12.800 that we're making it this far

00:06:13.820 and the world,

00:06:14.780 it is getting unique out there.

00:06:18.480 You know,

00:06:19.840 I mean,

00:06:20.520 some fella damn blew up a RV,

00:06:22.860 a decent camper.

00:06:25.040 Okay,

00:06:25.540 that thing slept six,

00:06:27.100 honey.

00:06:28.980 But in the end,

00:06:29.880 it slept one,

00:06:30.860 you feel me?

00:06:31.940 But some man,

00:06:33.520 kielbasa'd that bitch over there,

00:06:36.680 downtown,

00:06:37.380 in the central east

00:06:40.340 out there in Tennessee

00:06:41.220 and he was lonesome,

00:06:42.960 it said.

00:06:44.440 You know,

00:06:44.900 there was a little,

00:06:45.660 here and there,

00:06:46.280 he said something,

00:06:47.020 they,

00:06:47.300 you know,

00:06:48.480 he thought about lizard people

00:06:49.920 or something,

00:06:50.480 but,

00:06:51.360 you know,

00:06:51.820 he was probably listening to

00:06:52.900 Tinfoil Hat,

00:06:54.220 I have no idea,

00:06:54.760 but he,

00:06:55.440 you know,

00:06:55.940 the guy,

00:06:57.480 I mean,

00:06:57.780 it was a lonely dude

00:06:58.860 that blew himself up

00:06:59.980 and I'm not shocked.

00:07:04.360 First of all,

00:07:04.920 it's hard to park down there.

00:07:06.800 Let's be honest,

00:07:07.740 downtown parking,

00:07:09.100 who has not wanted

00:07:11.480 to,

00:07:13.080 sometimes when I'm downtown

00:07:14.140 and I can't,

00:07:15.060 I'm looking for parking,

00:07:15.780 I literally wish that my glove box

00:07:17.740 was a little oven

00:07:19.500 and I just want to put my head on there,

00:07:21.720 in there,

00:07:23.120 and go full blast,

00:07:25.280 honey.

00:07:26.180 I want to set that bitch on nine

00:07:27.960 and grill my thoughts

00:07:31.080 because I'm damn angry,

00:07:33.520 that's why.

00:07:37.280 God,

00:07:37.760 people been angry this year,

00:07:39.140 man,

00:07:39.360 this year,

00:07:39.820 got everybody,

00:07:40.580 who knows,

00:07:41.380 who knows,

00:07:42.160 look,

00:07:42.540 virtual reality,

00:07:45.220 you'll see a lot of children,

00:07:46.640 nowadays,

00:07:47.140 you run,

00:07:47.520 you drive down the street

00:07:48.660 and there's a kid in the yard

00:07:50.060 and you'll just see him

00:07:52.160 hiding behind,

00:07:53.000 hiding behind nothing,

00:07:54.400 he'll just kind of be crouching

00:07:55.660 like he's,

00:07:56.060 and he's playing hide and go seek

00:07:57.480 in his head,

00:07:57.960 with virtual,

00:07:59.220 you know,

00:08:00.440 with somebody in damn Guantanamo Bay

00:08:02.980 or Russia or somewhere,

00:08:06.160 you know,

00:08:06.740 Michigan.

00:08:08.820 And it's,

00:08:09.620 you know,

00:08:10.000 the virtual reality,

00:08:11.040 who knows what it's going to be.

00:08:13.740 There's a new thing

00:08:15.400 where people

00:08:16.880 are,

00:08:18.180 just have jobs

00:08:19.080 in virtual reality.

00:08:22.400 So now,

00:08:24.160 it's unbelievable.

00:08:25.300 The highlight is

00:08:26.140 you have a lazy child

00:08:27.400 with the thing on,

00:08:30.580 with the VR on,

00:08:32.440 do it for like flipping burgers

00:08:33.540 or,

00:08:35.280 you know,

00:08:35.760 working at a,

00:08:36.320 uh,

00:08:36.700 Shake Shack

00:08:37.360 or do,

00:08:38.560 you know,

00:08:39.080 making Kleenex

00:08:40.060 working at a Kleenex factory.

00:08:43.800 It's just on,

00:08:45.040 so now you can't even get your kid to work,

00:08:46.940 but he'll put on goggles

00:08:49.280 and go fucking work

00:08:52.100 at a job that's not even real.

00:08:55.540 Oh my God.

00:09:02.720 And part of me,

00:09:03.600 look,

00:09:03.740 I'm no scientist,

00:09:04.580 man.

00:09:05.480 If you logged on here,

00:09:06.960 ended up here somehow

00:09:07.900 through some,

00:09:09.580 you know,

00:09:09.980 chat room or portal

00:09:11.260 and you think that I am a science man,

00:09:15.520 then you,

00:09:17.560 you are a real stray animal

00:09:21.040 because that's not,

00:09:22.380 that's not factual.

00:09:23.820 I'm not,

00:09:24.480 you know,

00:09:24.760 I don't know anything about science

00:09:25.760 and,

00:09:26.520 um,

00:09:28.100 and I don't honestly,

00:09:28.840 but I'm probably part-time believer in science.

00:09:30.960 So it depends on kind of when you catch me

00:09:33.280 and how I'm feeling that day,

00:09:34.200 but,

00:09:35.140 um,

00:09:36.860 oh man,

00:09:37.400 what was I talking about?

00:09:40.380 I don't even know.

00:09:42.800 I literally do not even know.

00:09:44.100 I know that today's episode

00:09:45.060 is brought to you by Magic Mind.

00:09:47.000 I do know that

00:09:48.240 and we're very grateful for them

00:09:49.860 for coming on this,

00:09:50.740 uh,

00:09:51.700 this year,

00:09:52.480 this past year.

00:09:54.420 Um,

00:09:55.400 they are the antithesis of,

00:09:58.060 uh,

00:09:59.240 of procrastination.

00:10:00.540 You're tired of procrastinating

00:10:01.620 and change the way you do things.

00:10:04.560 You know,

00:10:05.240 nothing changes if nothing changes.

00:10:07.120 I heard that.

00:10:08.300 And,

00:10:08.940 um,

00:10:09.600 Magic Mind will change things.

00:10:11.700 It is basically the organic version of coffee.

00:10:16.080 Uh,

00:10:16.640 and you can check it out at magicmind.co

00:10:19.540 and use promo code Theo

00:10:22.040 for 10% off to try it out.

00:10:24.980 I got a little vial of it right here.

00:10:27.180 That hitter.

00:10:29.880 And,

00:10:30.300 um,

00:10:31.220 yeah,

00:10:31.480 it really puts you into a flow state.

00:10:33.000 You know,

00:10:33.260 a lot of people try to achieve flow state

00:10:35.000 and to really assist yourself,

00:10:36.440 that helps.

00:10:39.080 Yeah,

00:10:39.420 we're in the future.

00:10:40.000 I mean,

00:10:40.200 it's just crazy.

00:10:40.860 Like,

00:10:41.940 it,

00:10:42.160 I want,

00:10:42.600 sometimes I start to think,

00:10:43.700 what if

00:10:44.200 the,

00:10:45.300 um,

00:10:46.220 disease,

00:10:48.160 you know,

00:10:50.060 bro,

00:10:50.400 first of all,

00:10:50.940 think of this.

00:10:52.180 When Corvid came out,

00:10:53.740 you know,

00:10:54.260 whatever they called it,

00:10:55.120 Corvid 19.

00:10:56.360 First of all,

00:10:56.860 a lot of people thought it was a wide receiver.

00:10:59.180 Okay.

00:10:59.900 For Texas Tech or somebody.

00:11:01.860 People are like,

00:11:02.380 damn,

00:11:02.760 Corvid 19,

00:11:03.560 man,

00:11:03.760 this shit is fucking people up.

00:11:06.020 People are like,

00:11:06.340 damn,

00:11:07.280 how many touchdowns did he have,

00:11:09.140 you know?

00:11:10.820 But then it hit,

00:11:11.840 remember in the beginning,

00:11:12.560 they put everybody on ventilators

00:11:13.740 and it killed thousands of people

00:11:15.460 for no reason.

00:11:17.760 They just plugged people up to these things

00:11:19.680 and we're just reverse vacuuming out people.

00:11:24.680 We are just animals,

00:11:26.000 man.

00:11:26.080 We don't know what's going on.

00:11:27.100 But I start to wonder what if,

00:11:32.800 cause I don't know how it's going to just suddenly,

00:11:34.960 it's going to just disappear.

00:11:38.320 You know,

00:11:38.880 a lot of people are susceptible

00:11:40.060 or are questionable about the vaccine

00:11:44.320 and I don't blame them.

00:11:47.600 Dude,

00:11:48.180 this vaccine seems like something somebody made

00:11:50.500 at the last minute

00:11:51.900 to get a C.

00:11:53.920 and I only say that because

00:11:57.460 I'm that guy.

00:12:00.520 I'm the dude who was writing,

00:12:02.720 who was writing a book report on the bus.

00:12:07.360 You know?

00:12:08.380 I'm the dude who would find the one Asian,

00:12:10.680 not even Asian,

00:12:11.400 semi-Asian kid

00:12:12.500 and like,

00:12:15.380 I beg him to give me the answers

00:12:16.680 and he didn't even go to our school.

00:12:18.240 He worked near the school.

00:12:19.560 He,

00:12:21.960 you know,

00:12:23.520 and he still knew the answers,

00:12:24.980 which was crazy.

00:12:27.900 You know,

00:12:28.440 I'm just curious.

00:12:29.140 I mean,

00:12:29.360 I'm just,

00:12:29.880 you know,

00:12:30.380 I'm hopeful that we get into,

00:12:32.840 that this year brings some answers.

00:12:34.620 I mean,

00:12:34.780 I just,

00:12:35.140 I start to wonder where virtual reality,

00:12:37.160 are kids going to,

00:12:40.320 like,

00:12:41.460 is everybody's going to move back in with their parents

00:12:43.220 and do fake jobs?

00:12:44.280 Like do,

00:12:44.780 you know,

00:12:45.680 some kids just laying in his room all day

00:12:47.560 with his mouth open.

00:12:49.560 Working 60 hours at a,

00:12:51.600 at a,

00:12:52.580 you know,

00:12:54.660 at a calendar factory.

00:12:58.040 You know,

00:12:58.540 just gluing Sundays onto a,

00:13:00.340 you know,

00:13:00.640 onto a sheet of paper.

00:13:01.660 You know,

00:13:01.900 I just don't know.

00:13:04.580 I just start to wonder like,

00:13:06.860 and then the kid gets off of the thing

00:13:09.420 and he just feels like he's been at work all day,

00:13:10.860 but he hasn't.

00:13:15.140 And then what if our world,

00:13:16.520 like we don't start to be outside

00:13:17.640 and do stuff anymore

00:13:18.500 and we actually just start to be

00:13:19.600 in this virtual reality world?

00:13:21.860 So then everybody starts to get virtual reality

00:13:24.120 to go,

00:13:24.540 you even have to have it to go to anything.

00:13:27.660 We're all just laying on our floors

00:13:29.540 with our mouths open

00:13:31.220 and just going to work in our heads

00:13:36.920 or doing this

00:13:37.640 or doing that.

00:13:40.680 You know,

00:13:41.240 we're at a party

00:13:41.860 but where nobody's even there,

00:13:43.080 we're all just,

00:13:45.680 and look,

00:13:47.480 virtual reality is powerful.

00:13:51.700 It's powerful.

00:13:52.960 Man,

00:13:53.340 I went to the Fox Labs

00:13:55.240 and it's not like animal sex

00:13:59.580 or anything like that.

00:14:00.180 It's like,

00:14:01.200 what is it?

00:14:03.060 It's not like endangered species sex.

00:14:04.480 I mean,

00:14:04.600 it's like

00:14:05.500 the network,

00:14:07.400 the Fox Network,

00:14:08.160 Fox Studios

00:14:08.720 in Los Angeles

00:14:09.480 and

00:14:09.780 they took me

00:14:11.940 in the virtual reality room

00:14:13.100 one time

00:14:13.620 and they showed me

00:14:14.720 some of the stuff they had.

00:14:16.180 Bro,

00:14:16.700 they had a game

00:14:18.440 where I could see

00:14:20.340 little gnomes.

00:14:21.940 I was in a,

00:14:22.600 like in a woods,

00:14:24.340 you know,

00:14:25.360 and

00:14:26.640 you could walk up to a tree

00:14:28.420 and open little doors

00:14:29.800 and they had like

00:14:30.740 little,

00:14:31.120 little gnomes in there

00:14:32.040 would look up at you.

00:14:33.920 They're in there,

00:14:34.640 you know,

00:14:34.920 brushing teeth,

00:14:36.080 putting on a coat,

00:14:37.360 doing dehonorant.

00:14:39.480 You know,

00:14:39.820 one of them's in there

00:14:40.400 sneaking a little head of pudding

00:14:41.620 before bed,

00:14:42.300 the little one,

00:14:42.880 you know,

00:14:43.680 and now that you open

00:14:45.840 the little doors

00:14:46.480 and peek in their tree home

00:14:47.600 and they all look up at you

00:14:48.780 like they're kind of spooked.

00:14:52.280 And then you,

00:14:53.020 you close it

00:14:53.660 and you're back out

00:14:54.180 in the woods

00:14:54.580 and there's little bridges

00:14:55.560 going from trees to trees

00:14:56.820 in the woods

00:14:57.120 and little gnomes

00:14:57.880 would run across them

00:14:58.720 and the little gnome

00:15:00.420 hand you a little,

00:15:01.680 he'll trade you

00:15:02.540 something a little peach,

00:15:03.760 you know,

00:15:03.960 for something a little shoe polish,

00:15:05.720 you know,

00:15:06.740 like prison.

00:15:08.900 You know,

00:15:09.340 he'll trade you a fucking,

00:15:10.280 you know,

00:15:12.060 he'll trade you

00:15:12.580 maybe a little bit of

00:15:13.340 light oral,

00:15:14.420 you know,

00:15:15.540 not oral sex,

00:15:16.560 just,

00:15:16.760 you know,

00:15:17.700 just not like a kiss

00:15:19.080 but just at least

00:15:19.820 whistle in my mouth

00:15:20.680 or something a lot

00:15:21.200 of touch myself

00:15:21.940 kind of shit.

00:15:24.700 But,

00:15:25.140 um,

00:15:26.660 anyway,

00:15:27.460 man,

00:15:27.700 I don't know

00:15:27.940 what I'm getting at.

00:15:28.460 I'm just,

00:15:28.760 I'm just starting to wonder

00:15:29.500 what are the next futures

00:15:30.780 going to look like?

00:15:33.280 Because for me,

00:15:33.900 I think I kind of evaluate

00:15:35.180 the future

00:15:35.860 come January 1.

00:15:39.280 And that's when I start

00:15:40.180 to look at the past.

00:15:45.540 And,

00:15:45.960 um,

00:15:46.840 and so that's when

00:15:47.560 I'm starting to wonder

00:15:48.140 as I see virtual reality.

00:15:52.060 You know,

00:15:52.520 when I was young,

00:15:53.120 if you want to do

00:15:53.560 virtual reality,

00:15:54.140 you had to do a little

00:15:54.520 bit of acid.

00:15:55.420 Hit your little LSD.

00:15:57.200 You know?

00:15:59.020 You know,

00:15:59.480 you take a little

00:15:59.940 couple grams of,

00:16:01.120 uh,

00:16:01.940 you know,

00:16:02.660 mushrooms,

00:16:03.400 bro.

00:16:05.200 I remember doing

00:16:05.980 mushrooms at school once

00:16:07.200 and I remember

00:16:07.640 I had on a green shirt

00:16:08.660 and I thought it was

00:16:09.180 a snake.

00:16:11.920 And so half the day,

00:16:12.960 I spent half the day

00:16:13.600 hiding from my left arm.

00:16:14.840 And,

00:16:17.460 uh,

00:16:18.760 and that's hard to do,

00:16:20.840 bro.

00:16:23.120 That is,

00:16:24.520 I mean,

00:16:26.340 that's the real rodeo

00:16:27.420 right there.

00:16:29.720 You know,

00:16:30.200 I know,

00:16:30.380 I know a lot of these guys

00:16:31.320 in the PBR circuit

00:16:32.340 and stuff,

00:16:32.700 they get out there

00:16:33.340 and they do,

00:16:34.220 you know,

00:16:35.020 eight seconds on fiasco,

00:16:36.760 that famous bull,

00:16:37.560 but I'd love to see

00:16:38.380 an MF get out there

00:16:39.580 on about 60 grams

00:16:41.640 of psilocybin

00:16:42.480 and fucking hide

00:16:44.620 from his left arm.

00:16:46.860 That's snake.

00:16:50.020 Um,

00:16:52.040 what else I want to think,

00:16:55.200 oh,

00:16:55.380 I want to let everybody

00:16:56.080 know January 15th,

00:16:57.460 um,

00:16:58.280 we are doing

00:16:59.440 a live show.

00:17:01.660 It is myself

00:17:02.820 and,

00:17:03.600 uh,

00:17:03.920 Chelsea Lynn,

00:17:04.760 Trailer Trash,

00:17:05.680 Tammy,

00:17:06.720 and it's going to be

00:17:07.920 fun,

00:17:08.240 man.

00:17:08.360 She's so creative

00:17:09.300 and just,

00:17:09.960 she,

00:17:10.220 she just has so much

00:17:11.120 joy in her.

00:17:12.480 You know what I mean?

00:17:14.460 Damn,

00:17:14.740 if you,

00:17:15.040 you know,

00:17:15.280 you shot a missile at her,

00:17:16.380 you just,

00:17:16.940 joy would blow up

00:17:17.860 all over everybody.

00:17:20.780 So,

00:17:21.220 you'd see somebody

00:17:21.860 just damn slip

00:17:22.700 in a puddle of J-O-Y.

00:17:25.620 But,

00:17:26.060 um,

00:17:26.300 I'm so excited about that.

00:17:27.460 I really am

00:17:27.940 and it's,

00:17:28.260 it's made me feel

00:17:28.860 creative again

00:17:29.680 thinking about that

00:17:30.620 and we've shot

00:17:31.640 some sketches

00:17:32.320 and we're going to

00:17:32.780 have some live

00:17:33.400 performers.

00:17:34.920 Um,

00:17:36.100 it's going to be

00:17:36.680 something and we're

00:17:37.420 trying to pull it

00:17:38.000 all off live.

00:17:38.980 So,

00:17:39.400 you can get tickets now.

00:17:40.840 Uh,

00:17:41.700 the link will be,

00:17:42.740 uh,

00:17:43.100 at the top here

00:17:44.140 in the information

00:17:45.400 and,

00:17:46.740 and you'll also be able

00:17:48.080 to watch it for about

00:17:48.980 10 days after that

00:17:50.220 on the link

00:17:51.200 and,

00:17:52.620 uh,

00:17:53.180 and it's going to be great.

00:17:54.500 We're really putting

00:17:55.120 a lot of effort into it.

00:17:56.300 So,

00:17:56.460 I'm excited about that.

00:17:58.000 I'm excited to give

00:17:58.960 everybody like a cool

00:17:59.840 product and,

00:18:01.440 um,

00:18:02.400 and just to do

00:18:03.000 something fun with her

00:18:03.900 and to go outside

00:18:05.260 of my comfort zone.

00:18:06.200 You know,

00:18:08.420 and last year I really

00:18:09.320 got in my comfort zone

00:18:10.320 and I just think I got

00:18:11.160 scared and,

00:18:12.160 um,

00:18:12.540 a lot of times.

00:18:14.760 You know,

00:18:15.340 because,

00:18:16.300 you know,

00:18:17.440 I'd had a couple of

00:18:18.180 years where my career

00:18:19.120 had gotten bigger

00:18:19.800 and,

00:18:20.520 and I don't know

00:18:21.980 what happened this

00:18:22.580 past year.

00:18:25.040 I think I just got

00:18:26.240 kind of spooked maybe.

00:18:28.840 I don't know.

00:18:30.220 Stress,

00:18:30.780 lost,

00:18:31.800 everything.

00:18:32.760 You know me.

00:18:33.380 Jesus Christ,

00:18:34.140 man.

00:18:34.300 I'm Hansel and Gretel,

00:18:35.420 bro.

00:18:36.200 You know what I'm saying?

00:18:36.840 I don't know what the

00:18:37.540 fuck's going on,

00:18:38.480 man.

00:18:39.340 But I'm always

00:18:40.340 missing in the woods,

00:18:42.380 brother.

00:18:44.060 Um,

00:18:44.660 but yeah,

00:18:45.360 you'll be able to grab

00:18:45.880 a ticket to that

00:18:46.440 and thank you so much

00:18:47.280 for the support

00:18:47.980 in advance

00:18:48.580 and I'm,

00:18:49.720 I'm excited to do

00:18:50.460 something with,

00:18:51.300 uh,

00:18:52.140 just really a special

00:18:53.120 female talent,

00:18:54.080 I feel like.

00:18:55.080 And a special talent

00:18:55.980 anyway,

00:18:56.520 no matter if she has,

00:18:57.940 you know,

00:18:59.840 that puh,

00:19:00.440 puh,

00:19:00.660 puh,

00:19:01.320 that vagina

00:19:02.160 not daddy gang.

00:19:04.060 Um,

00:19:04.700 and then,

00:19:05.440 uh,

00:19:05.680 some of this episode

00:19:06.340 is just going to be,

00:19:06.960 uh,

00:19:07.280 flashbacks from the year

00:19:08.500 and producer Nick

00:19:10.360 and,

00:19:10.780 um,

00:19:11.120 our,

00:19:11.520 uh,

00:19:11.760 producer Sean,

00:19:12.860 uh,

00:19:13.960 in the central East,

00:19:14.900 they're,

00:19:15.200 they're going to put together

00:19:15.940 some clips from the year

00:19:16.800 that they really enjoyed.

00:19:17.860 Um,

00:19:19.640 and what else?

00:19:25.580 You know,

00:19:26.080 I went home,

00:19:26.540 I saw my family,

00:19:27.460 man,

00:19:27.640 everybody got gold chains.

00:19:28.960 I got from the,

00:19:29.740 uh,

00:19:30.040 I rolled up at the K Jewelers

00:19:32.820 and this fella Big Anthony

00:19:34.220 in there,

00:19:35.260 little thick fella,

00:19:36.280 kind of mahogany looking guy,

00:19:38.360 kind of mixed,

00:19:39.180 you know,

00:19:39.440 maybe he could have been,

00:19:41.660 he was either

00:19:42.820 kind of black and white

00:19:44.740 or maybe Turkish,

00:19:45.620 you know,

00:19:46.600 kind of black and mild,

00:19:47.820 I think.

00:19:49.660 You know,

00:19:50.160 some,

00:19:50.740 uh,

00:19:52.280 yeah,

00:19:52.800 he was kind of black and mild,

00:19:54.000 you know,

00:19:54.300 he was beans,

00:19:55.780 but he was rice,

00:19:56.600 you feel me?

00:19:58.260 Um,

00:19:59.780 but anyway,

00:20:00.640 shout out Big Anthony

00:20:01.480 over there off the interstate

00:20:02.420 who hooked me up with,

00:20:03.380 um,

00:20:04.260 you know,

00:20:04.600 a good deal on a decent amount

00:20:05.980 of silver,

00:20:06.560 brother,

00:20:07.380 and gold.

00:20:08.780 Actually,

00:20:09.080 I stopped over there at Kohl's

00:20:10.140 in my hometown

00:20:10.740 and I bought a damn,

00:20:12.360 bought everybody,

00:20:13.100 got golded out in my family,

00:20:14.500 so praise God,

00:20:15.360 man,

00:20:15.540 I'm hopeful,

00:20:16.620 hopeful that they all liked it

00:20:17.940 and the kids got a nice

00:20:18.880 piece of neck work.

00:20:20.980 And I got one,

00:20:21.980 man.

00:20:23.680 You know,

00:20:24.220 nothing,

00:20:24.760 nothing crazy,

00:20:25.760 but,

00:20:26.540 you know,

00:20:26.920 some of them I like to

00:20:27.620 freaking flex a little

00:20:28.640 and that's okay,

00:20:30.500 man.

00:20:32.740 Uh,

00:20:33.580 yeah,

00:20:34.500 it was,

00:20:34.820 you know,

00:20:35.240 I got,

00:20:35.660 what else did I,

00:20:36.280 what else is going on,

00:20:37.360 man?

00:20:38.260 What else is going on?

00:20:41.100 Um,

00:20:42.060 oh,

00:20:42.280 we got a really cool guest

00:20:43.240 that's going to be on

00:20:43.920 later this week,

00:20:44.760 so that's going to be

00:20:46.000 exciting.

00:20:47.740 Uh,

00:20:48.360 the holidays were good,

00:20:49.420 man,

00:20:49.500 I drove home.

00:20:51.080 Dude,

00:20:51.500 I went to the

00:20:52.660 slowest

00:20:53.680 Starbucks.

00:20:56.060 I want to say it was in

00:20:57.340 Hattiesburg,

00:20:58.520 Mississippi.

00:21:00.780 And if you haven't been to

00:21:01.760 Mississippi,

00:21:02.560 it's very,

00:21:05.020 I mean,

00:21:07.160 it is like,

00:21:08.300 what is it like,

00:21:09.560 man?

00:21:10.680 It definitely,

00:21:11.640 it's a little slavey

00:21:12.720 if you're in some places.

00:21:14.620 It's a little like,

00:21:18.780 like you see some of those

00:21:20.020 houses where you're like,

00:21:21.320 that looks a little

00:21:23.460 slavey.

00:21:26.000 Um,

00:21:27.280 but dude,

00:21:27.780 this,

00:21:28.060 this freaking Starbucks,

00:21:29.340 they had nine

00:21:30.560 employees,

00:21:31.960 dude,

00:21:32.120 or they had,

00:21:32.760 they had six employees

00:21:34.000 and they had three people

00:21:34.920 who I think had just

00:21:35.620 bought shirts who were

00:21:36.560 like,

00:21:37.320 maybe in like a local

00:21:38.340 freaking S bucks,

00:21:39.260 you know,

00:21:42.560 like a damn cheer team

00:21:43.580 or something.

00:21:43.880 I don't,

00:21:44.240 I don't fucking know,

00:21:45.260 you know,

00:21:45.720 just give me a Venti,

00:21:47.220 you know,

00:21:47.480 just,

00:21:48.240 I'd never been in a place

00:21:50.540 where so many people

00:21:51.280 were working

00:21:51.780 and nothing was happening,

00:21:53.640 you know?

00:21:54.520 And then this one fellow,

00:21:56.040 this big,

00:21:57.180 I mean,

00:21:57.960 husk,

00:21:58.580 Varna,

00:21:59.940 this dude who

00:22:01.420 was built like,

00:22:04.820 I mean,

00:22:05.340 he had,

00:22:07.760 he,

00:22:08.660 this man was built,

00:22:09.960 you know,

00:22:10.420 and he had that body hair

00:22:11.800 and he was also,

00:22:12.600 I'll be honest with you,

00:22:13.300 this fellow was probably

00:22:13.940 homoerotic.

00:22:17.080 And,

00:22:17.520 and cause I would tell you

00:22:19.280 because he,

00:22:19.900 each time he picked

00:22:20.580 the ticket,

00:22:21.620 he would say,

00:22:23.320 I'm Simeon,

00:22:24.020 and I'm the bad boy

00:22:26.720 that's going to be

00:22:27.340 handling your beverage.

00:22:30.680 And at first it's cute,

00:22:32.000 it's kind of funny,

00:22:32.720 like,

00:22:32.960 okay,

00:22:33.320 okay,

00:22:33.760 Simeon out here,

00:22:35.420 you know,

00:22:36.280 this MF about to wrangle

00:22:37.600 a damn,

00:22:38.800 you know,

00:22:40.320 a chocolatey,

00:22:42.200 you know,

00:22:42.860 whatever it is,

00:22:44.280 Spanish,

00:22:45.380 you know,

00:22:48.100 custard,

00:22:48.980 medium.

00:22:51.180 And,

00:22:52.420 this shit would take forever,

00:22:53.640 bro.

00:22:54.900 The shit would take forever.

00:22:57.840 So,

00:22:58.440 anyway,

00:22:58.760 I don't even have a story

00:22:59.440 about that,

00:22:59.900 I don't know.

00:23:00.380 It's just like,

00:23:01.080 if you work somewhere,

00:23:02.880 then just work there.

00:23:05.960 All you gotta do,

00:23:07.120 if you,

00:23:07.580 it's like,

00:23:08.380 customer service

00:23:09.720 has gotten

00:23:10.400 shitty.

00:23:15.720 It's gotten shitty,

00:23:16.620 man.

00:23:17.820 And maybe it's just,

00:23:18.880 I don't know,

00:23:20.120 maybe,

00:23:20.460 you know,

00:23:21.360 maybe I'm just complaining.

00:23:22.680 But I had to wait 25 minutes

00:23:24.940 for an iced coffee.

00:23:28.240 And in today's society,

00:23:29.740 I could understand

00:23:30.840 if it's 1800

00:23:32.560 and you gotta go down the street,

00:23:36.380 you gotta hustle the beans,

00:23:37.940 you know,

00:23:38.600 you gotta trade your daughter's,

00:23:40.260 you know,

00:23:41.420 virginity for a sack of good coffee

00:23:43.560 and you gotta come back up,

00:23:44.960 you gotta grind it yourself.

00:23:47.660 You know,

00:23:48.240 you gotta send your lady

00:23:49.240 to the stream

00:23:50.080 to pick up a batch of H2O,

00:23:52.040 she's gotta come back.

00:23:53.700 You gotta get a fire stick

00:23:55.240 or a hot rock

00:23:56.180 and beat it in the water,

00:23:57.400 you know.

00:23:57.720 I understand

00:23:59.300 if that's the thing.

00:24:01.760 But these bastards have,

00:24:03.400 they're basically sitting

00:24:04.140 at the mission control

00:24:05.400 of coffee.

00:24:06.020 They got machines,

00:24:07.340 they got grinders,

00:24:08.980 they got gravity bongs,

00:24:10.800 they got anything

00:24:12.160 you could want

00:24:13.420 in there

00:24:14.540 to put together

00:24:16.920 coffee,

00:24:18.120 flavor,

00:24:18.960 or essence,

00:24:20.080 and water

00:24:20.840 and get you out the door.

00:24:23.640 And this big bastard,

00:24:25.780 Simeon,

00:24:26.260 is over there

00:24:27.520 drawing fucking

00:24:28.560 reefs,

00:24:31.040 you know,

00:24:31.780 damn coral reefs

00:24:33.060 or whatever

00:24:33.580 into the

00:24:35.120 coffee,

00:24:37.540 you know,

00:24:37.960 and drawing like a,

00:24:38.980 like a,

00:24:40.160 he put one thing,

00:24:41.400 he said,

00:24:41.760 he told the lady

00:24:42.400 it was like a kiss,

00:24:43.740 like a lips kiss.

00:24:45.380 Bitch,

00:24:45.780 get the coffees!

00:24:47.680 Get the coffees,

00:24:48.980 Simeon!

00:24:52.060 Jesus, man.

00:24:53.020 I mean,

00:24:53.260 literally,

00:24:53.880 I stopped

00:24:54.760 and I just,

00:24:58.840 I just wanted,

00:25:00.400 I just shouldn't have stopped.

00:25:01.640 I should have left

00:25:02.200 and that's my choice,

00:25:03.560 man.

00:25:04.200 That's my choice,

00:25:05.060 man.

00:25:05.140 I can't handle it

00:25:05.820 and I stay.

00:25:09.160 That's my choice.

00:25:12.240 So this year,

00:25:13.200 do I have any better choices?

00:25:14.440 I just want to find

00:25:15.200 more gratitude.

00:25:15.980 I want to be more grateful.

00:25:17.400 I should be grateful

00:25:18.320 to live on a planet

00:25:19.480 where I can pull over

00:25:21.080 and ask nine people

00:25:22.620 to help me get a coffee

00:25:23.880 and a half hour later,

00:25:25.680 I can have one.

00:25:26.960 I should be grateful.

00:25:29.180 You know?

00:25:31.720 But I had a nice time

00:25:32.680 with my family, man.

00:25:33.360 I got to see my sisters.

00:25:34.520 I got to see my beautiful nieces.

00:25:36.300 They're growing up.

00:25:37.180 My sister-in-law

00:25:40.300 is just a real,

00:25:41.800 man,

00:25:42.060 she just worked so hard

00:25:43.020 to put together

00:25:43.600 a nice Christmas for us

00:25:45.080 and I got to spend time

00:25:47.480 with my mother, man,

00:25:48.300 and it was nice.

00:25:50.800 You know,

00:25:51.340 it was really nice, man.

00:25:52.420 We had a couple moments

00:25:53.380 that I thought were just,

00:25:54.860 just nice moments.

00:25:57.340 You know?

00:25:57.820 And I'm just proud

00:26:01.120 of my mother, man.

00:26:03.140 You know,

00:26:03.560 I know she listens

00:26:04.140 to this podcast

00:26:04.820 and I just want to say

00:26:05.900 I'm proud of you, mom.

00:26:07.540 You know?

00:26:08.200 I think you are.

00:26:13.540 I'm proud of you.

00:26:15.440 So I hope you know that.

00:26:19.540 But,

00:26:20.120 what do we have, man?

00:26:22.980 For you guys, man,

00:26:24.020 I got my love for you.

00:26:25.040 I love you

00:26:25.600 and thank you so much

00:26:26.640 for being a part of this, man.

00:26:28.300 We've been doing podcasts

00:26:29.280 for over four years now

00:26:30.320 and that's a lot, man.

00:26:33.080 What else?

00:26:36.400 I went to jiu-jitsu

00:26:37.540 a bunch the past two weeks.

00:26:39.220 Man,

00:26:39.420 if you're struggling

00:26:40.020 with some stuff in your life,

00:26:40.820 man,

00:26:40.960 get into jiu-jitsu, man.

00:26:42.700 I'm sure that I'll lose an arm

00:26:44.100 here in the next week or two

00:26:45.280 and,

00:26:47.040 you know,

00:26:48.520 I'm sure my life

00:26:49.160 won't be the same.

00:26:50.860 I'm sure that

00:26:52.060 I'm gonna,

00:26:52.800 you know,

00:26:53.260 I'm gonna have arthritis

00:26:54.020 or something in a month

00:26:55.160 but

00:26:55.460 it's,

00:26:57.540 there's just something

00:26:58.880 about it.

00:27:02.100 There's just something

00:27:03.120 about it.

00:27:05.080 So,

00:27:06.520 so thank you guys,

00:27:09.900 man,

00:27:10.020 for being a part of my life

00:27:11.160 and

00:27:11.920 and I'm just trying

00:27:14.660 to stay hopeful

00:27:15.180 and excited about this new year

00:27:16.680 and to just challenge,

00:27:18.220 try and challenge myself.

00:27:19.320 you know,

00:27:22.560 there's things we can do

00:27:23.540 where we could just

00:27:24.700 look at the negative

00:27:25.640 and

00:27:26.040 and sometimes we do that

00:27:27.900 and that's okay

00:27:28.480 but

00:27:30.280 it's nice

00:27:32.300 when we can reframe it,

00:27:33.400 you know,

00:27:33.620 and we can also look

00:27:34.420 at the good side of stuff

00:27:35.440 and

00:27:35.640 I hope that you guys

00:27:37.800 all have the energy

00:27:38.460 to do that

00:27:39.220 in this coming year

00:27:40.720 and

00:27:42.360 and I hope

00:27:44.340 that I do too

00:27:45.040 so

00:27:46.240 gang baby

00:27:47.120 you know,

00:27:48.560 I'm saying

00:27:48.760 we can do this

00:27:49.780 sometimes we think

00:27:50.860 we can't

00:27:51.360 but I believe

00:27:51.820 that we can

00:27:52.380 I'm gonna turn

00:27:53.160 the episode over

00:27:53.740 to

00:27:54.040 to

00:27:55.260 Nick and Sean

00:27:56.380 who are just

00:27:56.800 I'm not sure

00:27:57.420 how they're gonna package in

00:27:58.480 clips from the year

00:27:59.660 that they really enjoyed

00:28:01.300 and these are their

00:28:01.980 their choices

00:28:03.020 and I'm gonna let you know

00:28:06.180 also on the way out

00:28:06.900 that

00:28:07.060 today's episode

00:28:08.040 is brought to you by

00:28:09.360 Athletic Greens

00:28:10.500 look man

00:28:13.140 get Athletic Greens

00:28:14.360 if you want to feel activated

00:28:15.740 I mean

00:28:16.560 Athletic Greens

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00:28:19.060 I'm telling you that

00:28:19.940 and they are

00:28:21.700 just a real

00:28:22.420 composite

00:28:23.180 of the things

00:28:24.840 that really tickle you

00:28:25.840 you know

00:28:27.360 it's like

00:28:27.740 damn

00:28:27.920 it's like

00:28:28.140 almost like

00:28:28.560 just damn

00:28:29.160 walking through a forest

00:28:30.080 with your mouth open

00:28:30.920 and you get to the end

00:28:32.780 of the walk

00:28:33.220 and you look back

00:28:33.940 and none of the trees

00:28:35.380 have any leaves on them

00:28:36.500 and that's because

00:28:38.000 you've been filled up

00:28:39.020 with that chlorophyll

00:28:40.640 impurities

00:28:41.140 one of the ways

00:28:43.900 I've taken ownership

00:28:44.540 of my health

00:28:45.280 in this past

00:28:45.980 last year

00:28:46.800 is with Athletic Greens

00:28:48.020 and it is a game changer

00:28:49.920 you take that packet

00:28:51.940 you empty it

00:28:53.400 into the water

00:28:53.860 that's what I do

00:28:54.320 I get one ice cube

00:28:55.180 and I'm at the age

00:28:57.400 now where I refill

00:28:58.160 my trays

00:28:58.760 that's

00:28:59.480 people are like

00:29:00.060 how old are you

00:29:00.660 I'm like

00:29:00.960 I'm at the age

00:29:02.480 where I refill

00:29:03.560 my trays

00:29:04.680 honestly I felt like

00:29:07.900 I was channeling

00:29:08.440 Chris D'Elia right there

00:29:09.160 I felt a little

00:29:09.820 D'Elia-esque

00:29:11.080 and happy new year

00:29:12.140 to Chris D'Elia too

00:29:12.880 I hope that he podcasts

00:29:14.160 again this year man

00:29:15.140 that's another thing

00:29:15.960 that I hope

00:29:16.440 but one of the ways

00:29:19.660 I've taken ownership

00:29:20.180 of my health

00:29:20.540 is by taking

00:29:20.980 Athletic Greens

00:29:21.600 and I like it

00:29:22.640 you get that water

00:29:23.400 you get that

00:29:24.020 Athletic Greens

00:29:24.560 you get the ice cube

00:29:25.400 you get it going

00:29:26.140 and you treat yourself

00:29:27.460 with so many stressors

00:29:29.360 in life

00:29:29.640 it's difficult to maintain

00:29:30.520 effective nutritional habits

00:29:31.820 that's true

00:29:32.440 I think we've started

00:29:34.200 to feel like

00:29:34.860 we are almost robots

00:29:36.120 and we can keep going

00:29:37.940 without taking care

00:29:39.380 of the equipment

00:29:40.020 because we see

00:29:41.980 so many other things

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00:30:22.560 today

00:30:22.980 so that's what

00:30:23.700 you want to get

00:30:24.240 that's the deal

00:30:25.100 man

00:30:29.280 you know

00:30:30.000 I just don't want

00:30:30.580 to let y'all go

00:30:31.240 I'm excited

00:30:32.020 I'm hopeful

00:30:33.680 I feel good today

00:30:35.060 you know

00:30:36.020 and I need to

00:30:36.460 I need to recognize

00:30:37.080 when I do feel good

00:30:37.980 and just say that

00:30:38.840 and just shout it

00:30:40.600 from the rooftops

00:30:41.200 and also to recognize

00:30:42.320 this year could be

00:30:43.060 the year

00:30:43.560 this year could be

00:30:45.720 the year we settle

00:30:46.220 a lot of the beefs

00:30:47.220 there's a lot of

00:30:47.680 beef out on the street

00:30:48.480 you know

00:30:50.460 RV owners

00:30:51.620 and people that

00:30:52.420 work at Hooters

00:30:53.180 they beefing

00:30:53.980 black people

00:30:56.540 and

00:30:57.160 aliens

00:30:58.460 blacks versus

00:30:59.080 aliens

00:30:59.520 and that's a new

00:31:01.040 thing

00:31:01.360 but that's

00:31:01.800 I've asked probably

00:31:02.640 about 19 black

00:31:03.560 people now

00:31:04.140 and they

00:31:04.720 probably about 13

00:31:07.040 of them have said

00:31:07.700 you know

00:31:08.100 have led

00:31:08.680 you know

00:31:09.580 have kind of

00:31:10.680 supported some of

00:31:11.960 that

00:31:12.140 that there's a lot

00:31:12.760 of black alien

00:31:13.340 beef out there

00:31:14.080 what else

00:31:18.760 what else

00:31:19.060 people's beefing

00:31:20.300 other people

00:31:21.200 Mississippi State

00:31:23.060 and whatever team

00:31:23.800 they played the other

00:31:24.440 day

00:31:24.760 you know

00:31:26.440 so hopefully

00:31:26.800 some of this shit

00:31:27.360 gets figured out

00:31:28.000 as we head into

00:31:28.540 the new year

00:31:29.240 but happy new year

00:31:31.060 to you

00:31:31.440 and let's see

00:31:33.640 what the boys have

00:31:34.360 I guess coming up

00:31:35.020 now we'll have

00:31:35.560 maybe a series of

00:31:36.500 clips from the

00:31:37.560 year

00:31:37.880 I'm not sure

00:31:39.640 if I'm supposed

00:31:40.080 to introduce that

00:31:40.840 or if Nick is

00:31:41.380 going to put

00:31:41.680 something together

00:31:42.160 but there's a

00:31:43.040 series of clips

00:31:43.580 from the year

00:31:43.980 that will probably

00:31:44.460 play now

00:31:45.160 and I wish you

00:31:47.040 guys all a

00:31:47.860 beautiful start

00:31:48.520 to your lives

00:31:50.100 and to your

00:31:53.120 world

00:31:53.420 and it's nice

00:31:53.880 to have a new

00:31:54.340 beginning

00:31:54.700 you know

00:31:58.040 especially

00:31:58.440 it's hard right

00:31:59.260 now for a new

00:32:00.340 year I think

00:32:00.740 to feel kind of

00:32:01.440 different because

00:32:02.000 we you know

00:32:02.700 we're kind of

00:32:03.240 locked into some

00:32:04.180 of our same

00:32:04.640 patterns but

00:32:05.460 but I think

00:32:08.180 it can

00:32:08.700 you know

00:32:11.320 it's like when

00:32:11.680 you get new

00:32:12.080 bed sheets

00:32:12.620 or you get

00:32:13.000 your sheets

00:32:13.400 clean that

00:32:13.840 makes me feel

00:32:14.380 good

00:32:14.780 so that's

00:32:17.660 what I'm

00:32:17.840 trying to

00:32:18.140 imagine me

00:32:18.780 just lay

00:32:19.660 just getting

00:32:21.400 in there

00:32:21.940 and it's

00:32:22.200 nice and

00:32:22.660 clean

00:32:23.160 and the bed

00:32:23.760 been made

00:32:24.900 and it's

00:32:27.160 cozied up

00:32:28.040 and maybe

00:32:30.000 I reach

00:32:30.420 under the edge

00:32:30.860 of my bed

00:32:31.320 and get a

00:32:31.720 little skittle

00:32:32.240 little something

00:32:32.820 you know

00:32:33.140 something I

00:32:33.560 hid under

00:32:33.980 there

00:32:34.280 a little

00:32:34.600 treat

00:32:35.020 one of

00:32:36.260 them little

00:32:36.520 Laffy Taffy

00:32:37.520 singles

00:32:38.000 not the long

00:32:38.820 ones

00:32:39.060 and

00:32:40.520 you know

00:32:43.240 I like to

00:32:43.860 fill my mouth

00:32:44.400 with a snack

00:32:44.920 before I go

00:32:45.300 to bed

00:32:45.720 but

00:32:47.200 anyway

00:32:49.020 gang

00:32:52.440 onward

00:32:53.380 to

00:32:54.520 Amsterdam

00:32:55.580 and that

00:33:22.460 is a

00:33:23.660 hit

00:33:25.260 from Amsterdam

00:33:26.320 High Six

00:33:27.500 is the name

00:33:28.320 of that band

00:33:28.940 H-Y-S-I-C-S

00:33:31.200 with that

00:33:32.580 regional hit

00:33:33.300 called

00:33:33.580 Made in

00:33:34.040 Amsterdam

00:33:34.420 and that's

00:33:37.740 a strong

00:33:38.360 you could feel

00:33:39.320 the beat

00:33:39.740 in there

00:33:39.980 you could feel

00:33:40.340 the undertones

00:33:41.120 and the

00:33:41.580 different

00:33:43.140 overtones

00:33:43.760 as well

00:33:44.300 Amsterdam

00:33:44.960 the Dutch

00:33:45.640 baby

00:33:46.000 the Dutch

00:33:48.040 by far

00:33:50.480 some of the

00:33:50.840 most aerodynamic

00:33:51.580 people you'll

00:33:52.540 ever see

00:33:53.040 I mean

00:33:54.880 the Dutch

00:33:55.560 are downhill

00:33:56.220 they're downhill

00:33:57.220 individuals

00:33:57.880 they will

00:33:59.780 they are

00:34:00.620 in motion

00:34:01.380 IMD

00:34:02.760 baby

00:34:03.000 the in motion

00:34:03.620 Dutch

00:34:04.080 you don't

00:34:05.980 see a lot

00:34:06.360 of still

00:34:06.760 Dutch

00:34:07.280 name

00:34:08.740 70

00:34:09.240 still

00:34:09.620 Dutch

00:34:10.060 nobody

00:34:12.580 can

00:34:12.980 brother

00:34:13.300 okay

00:34:13.880 they're

00:34:14.560 in motion

00:34:15.100 doesn't matter

00:34:16.280 they're on a

00:34:16.660 tram

00:34:17.040 they're on

00:34:17.420 roller skates

00:34:18.300 they're

00:34:19.800 sewing a

00:34:20.220 magic carpet

00:34:20.840 and riding

00:34:21.500 on it

00:34:21.760 at the

00:34:21.940 same time

00:34:22.680 the Dutch

00:34:23.420 are doing

00:34:24.460 things

00:34:25.200 if you don't

00:34:26.240 have any

00:34:26.560 missiles

00:34:27.000 fill your

00:34:27.840 freaking

00:34:28.140 Dutch

00:34:28.500 buddy's

00:34:28.940 mouth

00:34:29.180 up with

00:34:29.500 gunpowder

00:34:30.120 and send

00:34:32.080 him on

00:34:32.360 his way

00:34:32.740 bro

00:34:33.020 he'll get

00:34:33.920 the job

00:34:34.360 done

00:34:34.700 they

00:34:36.160 are

00:34:37.200 movers

00:34:38.500 tell someone

00:34:39.840 in Amsterdam

00:34:40.280 to keep

00:34:40.700 a secret

00:34:41.140 no problem

00:34:41.900 they will

00:34:43.560 never stop

00:34:44.160 long enough

00:34:44.560 to even

00:34:44.940 share

00:34:45.620 what you

00:34:46.260 told them

00:34:46.840 I mean

00:34:48.380 everywhere

00:34:48.760 you go

00:34:49.120 in Amsterdam

00:34:49.600 they're

00:34:50.080 just

00:34:50.340 on a

00:34:54.760 train

00:34:55.120 on a

00:34:55.500 bike

00:34:55.700 on a

00:34:55.960 boat

00:34:56.200 on a

00:34:56.540 bird

00:34:56.880 on a

00:34:57.540 rumor

00:34:57.860 on a

00:34:58.880 breeze

00:34:59.340 the

00:35:11.580 Dutch

00:35:12.100 are

00:35:12.620 coming

00:35:13.240 and going

00:35:14.280 I saw

00:35:15.160 I saw

00:35:15.180 a dude

00:35:15.460 pass by

00:35:16.020 on a

00:35:16.320 falcon

00:35:16.720 putting

00:35:17.160 on

00:35:17.460 skis

00:35:18.160 and worried

00:35:19.380 he was

00:35:19.640 going to

00:35:19.800 be late

00:35:20.380 for a

00:35:22.120 regional

00:35:22.940 avalanche

00:35:23.920 they are

00:35:25.740 on the

00:35:26.480 move

00:35:26.860 where are you

00:35:27.580 going brother

00:35:28.120 oh there's a

00:35:29.280 ship you know

00:35:29.840 there's a

00:35:30.340 unicycle

00:35:31.120 there's a

00:35:31.900 bicycle

00:35:32.700 doxycycline

00:35:34.320 rocky

00:35:35.520 Johnson

00:35:35.920 I'm catching

00:35:37.060 him he's

00:35:37.560 headed to

00:35:37.860 heaven

00:35:38.060 yeah

00:35:39.440 gotta catch

00:35:40.020 the five

00:35:40.440 train

00:35:40.760 man

00:35:41.080 to

00:35:41.460 a

00:35:42.180 canoe

00:35:42.460 to

00:35:43.200 a

00:35:43.660 uber

00:35:44.120 pool

00:35:44.540 that

00:35:45.420 actually

00:35:45.760 drains

00:35:46.380 into

00:35:46.840 a

00:35:47.120 real

00:35:47.320 pool

00:35:47.600 and

00:35:48.300 it's

00:35:48.460 a

00:35:48.560 whirlpool

00:35:48.960 and

00:35:49.660 then

00:35:49.780 I'm

00:35:49.920 meeting

00:35:50.180 Joran

00:35:51.020 van der

00:35:51.340 salute

00:35:51.620 and

00:35:52.500 hopefully

00:35:52.860 the

00:35:53.400 Bermuda

00:35:53.740 triangle

00:35:54.200 will

00:35:54.920 still

00:35:55.200 be

00:35:55.400 open

00:35:55.720 because

00:35:56.600 we

00:35:57.760 gotta

00:35:57.940 be

00:35:58.100 there

00:35:58.340 I

00:35:59.160 can't

00:35:59.660 believe

00:36:00.080 they

00:36:00.420 let

00:36:00.640 people

00:36:00.900 get

00:36:01.100 high

00:36:01.360 there

00:36:01.660 okay

00:36:02.280 there's

00:36:02.720 way

00:36:03.440 too

00:36:03.640 many

00:36:03.780 moving

00:36:04.020 parts

00:36:04.400 it's

00:36:05.860 almost

00:36:06.000 like

00:36:06.180 trying

00:36:06.340 to

00:36:06.440 smoke

00:36:06.640 a

00:36:06.800 blunt

00:36:07.120 in

00:36:07.320 the

00:36:07.480 middle

00:36:07.700 of

00:36:08.100 a

00:36:08.360 game

00:36:08.700 of

00:36:08.920 Tetris

00:36:09.580 on

00:36:10.440 difficult

00:36:11.480 I

00:36:12.560 mean

00:36:12.660 I

00:36:12.800 can't

00:36:13.040 be

00:36:14.020 in

00:36:14.160 high

00:36:14.380 there

00:36:14.540 just

00:36:14.740 everywhere

00:36:15.020 there's

00:36:15.440 just

00:36:15.680 it'd

00:36:16.140 be

00:36:16.220 like

00:36:16.360 being

00:36:16.520 high

00:36:16.880 in

00:36:17.060 a

00:36:17.280 like

00:36:18.120 in

00:36:18.420 a

00:36:18.540 conveyor

00:36:19.000 belt

00:36:19.220 factory

00:36:19.780 bruh

00:36:21.140 nah

00:36:22.520 fam

00:36:23.140 nah

00:36:24.980 maybe

00:36:26.640 you know

00:36:27.340 catch

00:36:27.620 me

00:36:27.880 I'll

00:36:28.440 be

00:36:28.560 in

00:36:28.680 the

00:36:28.820 hammock

00:36:29.140 area

00:36:29.540 but

00:36:31.540 Amsterdam

00:36:33.520 they

00:36:35.280 the

00:36:35.740 Dutch

00:36:36.120 man

00:36:36.320 I'm

00:36:36.460 telling

00:36:37.000 you

00:36:37.300 they're

00:36:38.260 aerodynamic

00:36:38.700 for a

00:36:39.240 reason

00:36:39.500 because

00:36:40.480 they're

00:36:40.900 on the

00:36:41.120 move

00:36:41.460 and look

00:36:42.620 if you

00:36:42.920 see

00:36:43.080 if you

00:36:43.420 see a

00:36:43.700 Dutch

00:36:43.880 person

00:36:44.200 this is

00:36:44.560 how

00:36:44.660 you

00:36:44.820 see

00:36:45.020 them

00:36:45.200 that's

00:36:49.580 a

00:36:49.720 Dutch

00:36:50.060 oh

00:36:51.940 what's

00:36:52.360 oh

00:36:53.220 what's

00:36:53.520 that

00:36:53.820 oh

00:36:54.180 that's

00:36:54.400 a

00:36:54.520 Dutch

00:36:54.940 oh

00:36:56.520 dang

00:36:57.060 oh

00:36:57.780 man

00:36:58.900 what was

00:36:59.400 oh

00:36:59.900 a

00:37:00.080 Dutch

00:37:00.500 what

00:37:06.780 was

00:37:06.980 that

00:37:07.320 oh

00:37:08.320 dang

00:37:08.820 oh

00:37:09.480 what's

00:37:14.780 that

00:37:14.900 oh

00:37:15.100 is

00:37:15.300 that

00:37:15.420 hail

00:37:15.720 nah

00:37:16.160 that's

00:37:16.580 a

00:37:16.720 batch

00:37:16.920 of

00:37:17.080 Dutch

00:37:17.380 son

00:37:17.720 the

00:37:19.380 Dutch

00:37:19.820 are

00:37:20.420 coming

00:37:21.100 and

00:37:22.020 going

00:37:22.500 they're

00:37:22.800 in

00:37:22.960 motion

00:37:23.360 whoa

00:37:23.720 somebody

00:37:24.640 just

00:37:24.820 pulled

00:37:25.040 the

00:37:25.200 floor

00:37:25.420 out

00:37:25.600 from

00:37:25.740 under

00:37:25.940 me

00:37:26.160 nah

00:37:26.900 that's

00:37:27.180 a

00:37:27.320 shift

00:37:27.620 son

00:37:27.840 that's

00:37:28.160 plate

00:37:28.480 tectonic

00:37:29.120 Dutch

00:37:30.220 beautiful

00:37:32.480 city

00:37:32.940 beautiful

00:37:33.600 people

00:37:34.100 but you

00:37:34.880 gotta be

00:37:35.200 ready

00:37:35.480 to

00:37:36.340 move

00:37:37.540 to

00:37:40.200 move

00:37:40.940 everything's

00:37:42.920 in

00:37:43.100 you know

00:37:43.440 even the

00:37:44.040 cows there

00:37:44.640 they running

00:37:45.180 bro

00:37:45.480 they're not

00:37:46.280 grazing

00:37:46.680 they'll

00:37:47.060 you'll

00:37:50.160 see a

00:37:50.440 cow

00:37:50.620 jump over

00:37:51.160 the moon

00:37:51.640 dude

00:37:52.540 and do

00:37:52.800 it a

00:37:53.020 couple

00:37:53.180 times

00:37:53.560 that

00:37:53.760 day

00:37:54.100 everything

00:37:54.980 there

00:37:55.420 on

00:37:56.880 the

00:37:57.340 go

00:37:57.660 you

00:37:58.820 get a

00:37:59.100 steak

00:37:59.360 at

00:37:59.500 night

00:37:59.640 there's

00:37:59.820 no

00:37:59.980 meat

00:38:00.220 on

00:38:00.420 it

00:38:01.100 this

00:38:01.440 cow

00:38:01.740 damn

00:38:02.140 who's

00:38:02.640 this

00:38:02.820 carol

00:38:03.400 lewis

00:38:03.900 this

00:38:04.820 thing

00:38:05.020 ran

00:38:05.360 right

00:38:05.600 out

00:38:05.780 of

00:38:05.860 his

00:38:06.000 own

00:38:06.220 meat

00:38:06.600 and

00:38:07.900 the

00:38:08.040 steak

00:38:08.240 be like

00:38:08.540 a

00:38:08.660 damn

00:38:08.880 nugget

00:38:09.380 bro

00:38:09.620 like

00:38:10.620 a

00:38:10.780 beef

00:38:10.980 nugget

00:38:11.400 you

00:38:11.500 could

00:38:11.620 throw

00:38:11.800 it

00:38:11.900 up

00:38:12.020 in

00:38:12.140 the

00:38:12.240 air

00:38:12.500 and

00:38:14.340 that's

00:38:14.580 nothing

00:38:14.880 bro

00:38:15.200 you

00:38:16.280 got a

00:38:16.680 mouth

00:38:16.940 full

00:38:17.200 of

00:38:17.400 hamster

00:38:18.760 steak

00:38:19.280 stay

00:38:21.020 Dutch

00:38:21.360 baby

00:38:21.680 I

00:38:22.020 got a

00:38:22.360 debate

00:38:22.660 for

00:38:22.840 y'all

00:38:23.220 Raising

00:38:24.100 Canes

00:38:24.680 or

00:38:25.100 Chick

00:38:25.320 Filet

00:38:25.780 Raising

00:38:26.740 Canes

00:38:27.240 Gang

00:38:27.960 Gang

00:38:28.360 Go

00:38:29.980 Raising

00:38:32.480 Cane

00:38:33.260 Duh

00:38:33.800 Raising

00:38:35.760 Cane

00:38:36.400 Duh

00:38:37.000 I

00:38:37.200 don't

00:38:37.300 think so

00:38:37.920 bro

00:38:38.240 damn

00:38:38.740 Chick

00:38:39.040 Filet

00:38:39.480 Raising

00:38:40.040 Cane

00:38:40.800 bro

00:38:40.900 you

00:38:41.060 tell me

00:38:41.380 you

00:38:41.460 oh my

00:38:44.160 god

00:38:44.940 no

00:38:45.540 comparison

00:38:46.260 you

00:38:46.840 tell me

00:38:47.260 you make

00:38:47.600 it through

00:38:47.840 the

00:38:48.000 Atlanta

00:38:48.400 airport

00:38:48.800 without

00:38:49.280 hitting

00:38:49.620 a

00:38:49.820 Chick

00:38:50.060 Filet

00:38:50.540 showing

00:38:51.140 up

00:38:51.360 at

00:38:51.460 the

00:38:51.600 counter

00:38:51.940 seeing

00:38:52.500 the

00:38:52.740 beautiful

00:38:53.160 fucking

00:38:53.560 girls

00:38:53.960 that

00:38:54.160 work

00:38:54.380 at

00:38:54.500 the

00:38:54.640 counter

00:38:54.860 admit

00:38:55.180 it

00:38:55.340 they

00:38:55.440 got

00:38:55.580 the

00:38:55.760 best

00:38:56.000 looking

00:38:56.260 women

00:38:56.600 that

00:38:57.080 work

00:38:57.360 at

00:38:57.520 the

00:38:57.660 counter

00:38:58.000 you

00:38:59.260 know

00:38:59.400 when

00:38:59.520 I

00:38:59.640 started

00:38:59.980 chicken

00:39:00.180 filet

00:39:00.480 when

00:39:01.520 I

00:39:01.680 came

00:39:01.960 home

00:39:02.160 from

00:39:02.300 prison

00:39:02.620 flying

00:39:03.020 in

00:39:03.160 airports

00:39:03.600 yeah

00:39:03.940 oh yeah

00:39:04.840 you fly

00:39:05.140 Delta

00:39:05.440 do you

00:39:05.820 yeah

00:39:06.340 so I

00:39:07.000 I

00:39:07.300 was raised

00:39:08.580 on Raising

00:39:09.000 it's no

00:39:09.440 other

00:39:09.700 chicken

00:39:10.000 finger

00:39:10.420 that was

00:39:11.140 the

00:39:11.300 first

00:39:11.820 other

00:39:12.060 chicken

00:39:12.340 I

00:39:12.620 never

00:39:12.880 ate

00:39:13.080 Zaxby's

00:39:13.720 yeah

00:39:14.040 I still

00:39:14.740 ain't

00:39:14.980 ate

00:39:15.200 that

00:39:15.380 I

00:39:16.260 still

00:39:16.560 ain't

00:39:16.780 ate

00:39:16.960 that

00:39:17.140 shit

00:39:17.340 in

00:39:17.440 Atlanta

00:39:17.620 I

00:39:17.880 looked

00:39:18.220 at

00:39:18.460 it

00:39:18.640 I

00:39:19.000 said

00:39:19.220 no

00:39:19.480 this

00:39:20.520 the

00:39:21.020 new

00:39:21.180 Raising

00:39:21.520 Cane

00:39:21.760 I

00:39:21.920 looked

00:39:22.300 at

00:39:22.540 it

00:39:22.760 I

00:39:23.140 said

00:39:23.340 hell

00:39:23.600 no

00:39:23.920 cause I

00:39:25.180 was

00:39:25.380 raised

00:39:25.740 on Raising

00:39:26.340 Cane

00:39:26.640 since the

00:39:27.460 first ones

00:39:28.220 in Louisiana

00:39:28.700 I was

00:39:29.380 raised

00:39:29.760 there

00:39:30.080 but dude

00:39:31.600 Chick-fil-A

00:39:32.360 man you

00:39:32.840 get that

00:39:33.220 little

00:39:33.460 chicken

00:39:33.820 sandwich

00:39:34.260 you

00:39:34.480 open that

00:39:34.960 bitch

00:39:35.220 up

00:39:35.400 it's

00:39:35.580 in that

00:39:35.860 foil

00:39:36.280 bro

00:39:36.700 that

00:39:37.220 thing

00:39:37.400 looking at

00:39:37.920 you

00:39:38.000 like a

00:39:38.260 little

00:39:38.400 newborn

00:39:38.840 baby

00:39:39.160 got that

00:39:39.560 pickle

00:39:39.840 on it

00:39:40.140 I

00:39:40.260 ate

00:39:40.580 it

00:39:40.700 before

00:39:40.980 but I

00:39:41.300 just

00:39:41.600 don't

00:39:41.740 like

00:39:41.920 them

00:39:42.060 soggy

00:39:42.480 ass

00:39:42.680 pickles

00:39:43.060 I

00:39:43.440 got

00:39:44.460 them

00:39:44.600 soggy

00:39:45.120 ass

00:39:45.400 pickles

00:39:45.780 the

00:39:46.140 ice

00:39:46.360 cream

00:39:46.660 pretty

00:39:46.940 good

00:39:47.380 the

00:39:48.280 fucking

00:39:48.460 nuggets

00:39:48.820 too

00:39:49.060 small

00:39:49.500 one

00:39:50.780 of

00:39:50.900 those

00:39:51.140 nuggets

00:39:51.420 is

00:39:51.600 three

00:39:51.820 mcdonald's

00:39:52.420 nuggets

00:39:52.680 now

00:39:52.940 come

00:39:53.200 on

00:39:53.360 five

00:39:53.760 chicken

00:39:54.020 fillet

00:39:54.320 ass

00:39:54.580 up

00:39:54.840 now

00:39:55.380 I

00:39:55.500 like

00:39:55.740 chicken

00:39:55.980 fillet

00:39:56.400 but

00:39:57.040 they

00:39:57.260 ain't

00:39:57.520 messing

00:39:57.820 with

00:39:58.040 no

00:39:58.240 raisin

00:39:58.640 cane

00:39:59.000 though

00:39:59.380 what's

00:39:59.820 your

00:39:59.980 idea

00:40:00.460 of

00:40:00.660 that

00:40:00.940 man

00:40:01.320 like

00:40:01.620 truck

00:40:02.200 driver

00:40:02.740 wild

00:40:04.080 bird

00:40:04.600 meat

00:40:04.980 you

00:40:05.620 know

00:40:05.800 you

00:40:06.320 think

00:40:06.620 it

00:40:06.800 might

00:40:07.020 be

00:40:07.200 going

00:40:07.440 to

00:40:07.640 his

00:40:07.840 brain

00:40:08.180 a

00:40:08.340 little

00:40:08.480 bit

00:40:08.840 anyways

00:40:10.200 man

00:40:10.580 thanks

00:40:11.020 I

00:40:11.240 hope

00:40:11.520 you're

00:40:11.660 doing

00:40:11.860 good

00:40:12.240 thanks

00:40:13.100 brother

00:40:13.320 back

00:40:13.660 at

00:40:13.900 you

00:40:14.020 man

00:40:14.300 oh

00:40:15.520 I

00:40:15.680 think

00:40:15.900 if

00:40:16.040 you

00:40:16.120 have

00:40:16.240 a

00:40:16.340 little

00:40:16.440 bit

00:40:16.600 of

00:40:16.720 stretch

00:40:17.160 brother

00:40:17.440 ain't

00:40:17.640 nothing

00:40:17.860 wrong

00:40:18.140 with

00:40:18.360 you

00:40:18.520 you

00:40:19.620 know

00:40:19.740 there

00:40:19.860 ain't

00:40:19.980 nothing

00:40:20.200 wrong

00:40:20.500 you

00:40:20.640 wake

00:40:20.860 up

00:40:21.020 in

00:40:21.120 the

00:40:21.220 morning

00:40:21.440 have

00:40:21.660 a

00:40:21.780 couple

00:40:21.980 eggs

00:40:22.400 and

00:40:22.540 a

00:40:22.680 hit

00:40:22.820 a

00:40:22.960 stretch

00:40:23.420 you

00:40:24.800 know

00:40:25.060 not

00:40:26.260 everybody

00:40:26.600 gets

00:40:26.820 to have

00:40:27.200 ostrich

00:40:27.680 so

00:40:27.860 maybe

00:40:28.120 you

00:40:28.380 know

00:40:28.520 you

00:40:28.700 should

00:40:29.120 you

00:40:30.320 know

00:40:30.440 your

00:40:30.660 brother's

00:40:31.060 lucky

00:40:31.280 to have

00:40:31.540 that

00:40:31.700 delicacy

00:40:32.400 baby

00:40:32.780 you

00:40:34.280 know

00:40:34.380 some

00:40:34.680 people

00:40:34.940 that

00:40:35.100 say

00:40:35.240 you

00:40:35.380 can't

00:40:35.640 eat

00:40:35.800 this

00:40:36.040 and

00:40:36.160 you

00:40:36.280 can't

00:40:36.560 eat

00:40:36.700 that

00:40:37.000 and

00:40:37.780 I

00:40:37.920 say

00:40:38.120 this

00:40:38.360 watch

00:40:38.720 me

00:40:39.000 okay

00:40:40.360 unless

00:40:41.500 you're

00:40:41.700 gonna

00:40:41.740 come

00:40:41.980 by

00:40:42.200 my

00:40:42.460 house

00:40:42.860 and

00:40:43.080 stand

00:40:43.460 by

00:40:43.660 my

00:40:43.880 plate

00:40:44.340 I

00:40:45.020 might

00:40:45.280 have

00:40:45.860 a

00:40:46.020 little

00:40:46.200 something

00:40:46.640 okay

00:40:47.480 sometime

00:40:49.440 I

00:40:49.680 might

00:40:49.860 have

00:40:50.140 me

00:40:50.300 a

00:40:50.480 little

00:40:50.700 cut

00:40:51.120 a

00:40:51.320 hulk

00:40:51.700 all

00:40:53.380 right

00:40:53.660 I

00:40:54.500 might

00:40:54.720 have

00:40:55.000 me

00:40:55.160 a

00:40:55.340 little

00:40:55.500 basket

00:40:56.080 of

00:40:56.340 or

00:40:56.840 half

00:40:57.120 I

00:40:57.520 might

00:40:58.040 have

00:40:58.280 me

00:40:58.460 half

00:40:58.940 a

00:40:59.120 basket

00:40:59.480 of

00:40:59.720 seal

00:41:00.300 nuggets

00:41:01.120 all

00:41:03.640 right

00:41:03.780 y'all

00:41:03.940 don't

00:41:04.100 tell me

00:41:04.480 what I

00:41:04.740 can

00:41:04.900 have

00:41:05.220 and what

00:41:06.160 y'all

00:41:06.800 never

00:41:07.100 know

00:41:07.320 I

00:41:07.500 might

00:41:07.700 have

00:41:07.960 a

00:41:08.120 little

00:41:08.360 bit

00:41:08.780 of

00:41:08.960 canary

00:41:09.700 brittle

00:41:10.180 for

00:41:10.800 I

00:41:11.020 shut

00:41:11.360 it

00:41:11.540 down

00:41:11.900 for

00:41:12.160 the

00:41:12.400 night

00:41:12.880 I

00:41:13.980 might

00:41:14.200 have

00:41:14.480 some

00:41:14.760 adolescent

00:41:15.640 back

00:41:17.000 ribs

00:41:17.760 I

00:41:19.140 might

00:41:19.380 bring

00:41:19.640 a

00:41:19.820 nine

00:41:20.180 in

00:41:20.360 the

00:41:20.520 joint

00:41:20.880 and

00:41:21.420 have

00:41:21.660 a

00:41:21.860 Popeye's

00:41:22.580 chicken

00:41:23.100 sandwich

00:41:23.800 okay

00:41:24.200 I

00:41:25.160 might

00:41:25.400 have

00:41:25.620 something

00:41:25.920 rare

00:41:26.380 I

00:41:27.380 might

00:41:27.620 have

00:41:27.820 a

00:41:27.960 little

00:41:28.140 bit

00:41:28.400 of

00:41:28.600 you

00:41:29.280 know

00:41:29.500 I

00:41:29.840 might

00:41:30.040 have

00:41:30.180 some

00:41:30.360 Doberman

00:41:31.120 on

00:41:31.660 brioche

00:41:32.540 or

00:41:33.160 some

00:41:33.460 carp

00:41:34.000 tarts

00:41:34.640 or

00:41:35.400 some

00:41:35.640 goldfish

00:41:36.300 filets

00:41:37.000 with

00:41:37.400 a

00:41:37.560 little

00:41:37.760 bit

00:41:38.020 of

00:41:38.220 reindeer

00:41:39.340 remoulade

00:41:40.200 drizzle

00:41:40.880 everybody

00:41:42.220 has

00:41:42.720 different

00:41:43.020 desires

00:41:43.580 so if

00:41:44.740 you got

00:41:45.260 a little

00:41:45.540 bit of

00:41:45.900 stretch

00:41:46.360 over there

00:41:46.960 if your

00:41:47.840 lady's

00:41:48.260 drop

00:41:48.480 you know

00:41:48.820 visiting

00:41:49.280 another

00:41:49.740 man

00:41:50.180 and dropping

00:41:51.360 off a little

00:41:51.880 bit of that

00:41:52.360 freaking long

00:41:53.120 neck

00:41:53.440 oh meat

00:41:54.040 to him

00:41:54.540 well

00:41:55.420 more power

00:41:57.820 to him

00:41:58.300 bro

00:41:58.480 that's

00:41:58.700 family

00:41:59.140 you know

00:42:00.360 what I

00:42:00.760 hate

00:42:01.320 the most

00:42:01.860 is when

00:42:02.140 my sister

00:42:02.640 drives past

00:42:03.760 my house

00:42:04.440 and don't

00:42:05.620 bring

00:42:06.240 mageta

00:42:08.140 so thank

00:42:10.280 you for

00:42:10.520 calling man

00:42:11.100 and I hope

00:42:11.480 everybody out

00:42:12.180 there drops

00:42:12.620 off some

00:42:13.020 rare meat

00:42:13.840 to somebody

00:42:14.620 that they

00:42:15.220 love

00:42:15.620 he does

00:42:16.200 have a

00:42:16.520 different

00:42:16.980 accent

00:42:17.320 so maybe

00:42:17.660 that's

00:42:17.980 you know

00:42:18.520 that's

00:42:18.720 how they

00:42:18.920 would

00:42:19.020 say

00:42:19.200 my name

00:42:19.380 you got

00:42:19.500 a lot

00:42:19.600 of

00:42:19.700 French

00:42:19.940 fans

00:42:20.260 there

00:42:20.380 that one

00:42:20.680 yeah

00:42:20.860 that guy

00:42:21.120 was from

00:42:21.400 France

00:42:21.840 was that guy

00:42:23.420 really from

00:42:23.780 France you

00:42:24.100 think

00:42:24.260 or was he

00:42:24.480 just saying

00:42:24.820 that

00:42:25.040 oh that

00:42:26.460 guy from

00:42:26.820 France

00:42:27.160 he had a

00:42:27.960 weird sound

00:42:28.300 who would

00:42:28.540 just say

00:42:28.880 I'm from

00:42:29.160 France

00:42:29.520 I don't

00:42:29.960 know

00:42:30.220 but you're

00:42:31.360 right though

00:42:31.640 maybe he

00:42:31.960 lied

00:42:32.180 he could

00:42:32.400 lie

00:42:32.680 I'm not

00:42:33.440 saying he's

00:42:33.880 a liar

00:42:34.160 sorry man

00:42:34.820 I'll say

00:42:35.580 it he could

00:42:35.960 be

00:42:36.500 and I think

00:42:39.880 the mullet

00:42:40.280 goes

00:42:40.440 I think we

00:42:40.840 got four

00:42:41.160 different types

00:42:41.580 of mullet

00:42:41.800 what do you

00:42:42.080 got back

00:42:42.740 there

00:42:42.920 yeah it's

00:42:43.820 growing out

00:42:44.400 a little

00:42:44.620 bit

00:42:44.900 oh you got

00:42:45.400 that New

00:42:46.000 York City

00:42:46.580 mullet

00:42:47.000 it's a

00:42:48.240 little too

00:42:48.560 long up

00:42:49.260 top

00:42:49.560 maybe

00:42:49.860 if I think

00:42:50.620 if I combed

00:42:51.200 it all the way

00:42:51.600 down

00:42:51.860 that's beautiful

00:42:53.000 bro

00:42:53.340 you look like

00:42:54.080 yeah you look

00:42:54.500 like a damn

00:42:54.840 raccoon that's

00:42:55.500 going to prom

00:42:56.160 yeah I kind of

00:42:56.940 feel like it

00:42:57.560 right now

00:42:57.880 I'm not gonna

00:42:58.280 lie

00:42:58.580 it's uh

00:42:59.460 wintertime

00:43:00.180 and like

00:43:00.480 wearing this

00:43:00.940 kind of shit

00:43:01.480 makes my hair

00:43:02.040 look like a

00:43:02.540 rat's nest

00:43:03.160 but it is

00:43:04.060 what it is

00:43:04.580 you know

00:43:04.820 it looks great

00:43:05.460 thank you man

00:43:06.120 you got some

00:43:06.600 beautiful hair

00:43:07.160 appreciate it

00:43:07.900 we're like

00:43:08.220 four women

00:43:08.760 dude I used

00:43:09.440 to have like

00:43:10.100 Jeff Leppard

00:43:11.120 hair

00:43:11.360 back in the day

00:43:12.000 magazines

00:43:12.320 oh you're

00:43:13.600 it's beautiful

00:43:14.340 Hardy

00:43:14.700 you're doing

00:43:15.100 great

00:43:15.620 my hat's

00:43:16.900 already back

00:43:17.400 on

00:43:17.700 I'm like

00:43:18.020 alright anyway

00:43:18.580 what about

00:43:19.040 your

00:43:19.280 what about

00:43:19.720 your

00:43:19.860 hair

00:43:20.040 you got

00:43:20.520 that

00:43:20.740 I got

00:43:21.600 that

00:43:21.800 I feel

00:43:22.340 mine is a

00:43:22.860 little bit

00:43:23.160 more like

00:43:23.580 women who

00:43:24.000 prefer the

00:43:24.460 company of

00:43:24.980 women I

00:43:25.380 feel like

00:43:26.180 mine is

00:43:27.180 definitely

00:43:27.700 Morgan's is

00:43:29.220 more mullet

00:43:29.740 yours is more

00:43:30.560 I feel like

00:43:31.220 kind of

00:43:31.640 what is yours

00:43:32.940 Earn

00:43:33.220 dude I don't

00:43:33.920 know well

00:43:34.340 when I get

00:43:34.940 it trimmed

00:43:35.260 up right

00:43:35.820 and let it

00:43:36.900 sit down

00:43:37.540 correct

00:43:37.780 this is

00:43:38.200 it's outgrown

00:43:38.760 I gotta get

00:43:39.200 Amy to cut it

00:43:39.820 it's actually

00:43:40.960 bro it's actually

00:43:41.880 a bullet

00:43:42.440 because I do

00:43:43.160 it straight

00:43:43.620 I don't know

00:43:44.160 which camera

00:43:44.580 I like that

00:43:45.200 the best

00:43:45.480 when I do it

00:43:46.080 straight across

00:43:46.700 the top

00:43:47.220 and let it

00:43:47.620 drop

00:43:48.440 oh the lord

00:43:48.960 will find you

00:43:49.340 if you keep

00:43:49.660 it like that

00:43:50.180 people aren't

00:43:50.700 really ready

00:43:51.180 for it

00:43:51.720 because I can

00:43:52.260 put it back

00:43:52.800 for a casual

00:43:53.480 setting

00:43:53.740 I wouldn't

00:43:54.540 I like that

00:43:55.560 that's like

00:43:57.060 that's real

00:43:58.360 I would do that

00:43:58.900 and drink out

00:43:59.320 of the bird

00:43:59.720 bath in the

00:44:00.140 front yard

00:44:00.620 dog

00:44:00.940 that's full

00:44:01.980 problem

00:44:02.260 that's like

00:44:02.680 almost like

00:44:03.220 a British

00:44:03.740 that's like

00:44:04.500 a British

00:44:04.960 sort of

00:44:05.500 I did this

00:44:06.320 before Miley

00:44:07.000 did it

00:44:07.400 I will say

00:44:07.960 he did

00:44:09.320 I know I did

00:44:10.640 and I know

00:44:11.160 Miley's seen it

00:44:12.060 because my name

00:44:13.040 gets dropped

00:44:13.660 alright

00:44:14.060 and I know

00:44:15.020 she said

00:44:15.420 who's Ernest

00:44:15.980 what a name

00:44:16.500 and looked it up

00:44:17.080 and saw my haircut

00:44:17.720 and said

00:44:18.140 they'll never know

00:44:19.320 I took it from him

00:44:19.960 oh damn man

00:44:20.860 the majority don't

00:44:23.740 he's trying to get

00:44:24.320 Miley Cyrus on a song

00:44:25.160 I'm trying to get

00:44:25.640 Miley Cyrus on the phone

00:44:26.740 and figure out

00:44:27.300 where she figured out

00:44:28.140 that haircut

00:44:29.220 dude's a bullet

00:44:30.240 patent

00:44:30.780 sorry

00:44:32.460 he got fire

00:44:33.440 golly

00:44:35.020 I'm passionate

00:44:35.740 Ernest

00:44:36.420 damn

00:44:36.800 fucking

00:44:37.380 heated huh

00:44:38.480 sorry

00:44:38.920 I drank a suicide

00:44:40.280 on the way here

00:44:40.960 and I'm geeked up

00:44:41.720 no you remind me

00:44:42.460 of my Aunt Sally

00:44:43.240 dude right now

00:44:44.060 honestly dude

00:44:44.760 100%

00:44:45.680 and she's badass

00:44:46.920 too when you borrowed

00:44:47.560 one of my dad's shirts

00:44:48.420 one time to go swimming

00:44:49.220 in the pool

00:44:49.700 and it was not

00:44:50.280 made of wood

00:44:50.760 it was not

00:44:51.440 does she smoke

00:44:53.980 Virginia Slims

00:44:55.600 bro she smoke

00:44:56.940 medium sized

00:44:57.860 Virginias bro

00:44:58.480 she's a bigger guy

00:44:59.160 I'll say that

00:45:00.140 damn dude

00:45:00.980 damn I look like

00:45:02.360 Aunt Sally

00:45:02.920 I mean but bro

00:45:03.980 she was beautiful too

00:45:05.720 she won 7th place

00:45:07.080 in a beauty contest

00:45:08.820 but there was

00:45:12.460 30 entrants

00:45:13.140 there was 30

00:45:13.900 alright 30

00:45:14.580 so bad

00:45:15.140 there was 30

00:45:15.900 entrants dude

00:45:16.540 it's top 3rd

00:45:17.440 almost you know

00:45:18.060 come on baby

00:45:19.840 we're in the top 3rd

00:45:20.920 dude lips

00:45:22.220 come baby

00:45:22.660 do it

00:45:23.160 yes sir

00:45:23.700 I don't think

00:45:25.000 we even answered

00:45:25.440 that guy's question

00:45:26.080 yeah we'll get to it

00:45:26.880 what is it

00:45:27.420 what's your favorite

00:45:28.740 what's your most excited

00:45:29.900 you got it

00:45:30.780 yeah what's your most

00:45:31.220 excited one

00:45:31.760 and we're gonna learn

00:45:33.040 I didn't do it right either

00:45:34.320 yeah what's the most

00:45:34.880 excited one man

00:45:35.920 damn Morgan

00:45:36.880 that's a hard question

00:45:38.220 to ask

00:45:39.000 it is really

00:45:39.620 and you shouldn't

00:45:40.200 have to answer

00:45:40.640 something like that

00:45:41.500 a bee don't know

00:45:43.260 nothing

00:45:43.700 a bee is like

00:45:45.400 a blind guy

00:45:46.220 with a damn hatchet

00:45:47.360 you know

00:45:50.660 he don't know

00:45:51.240 you from Adam

00:45:52.060 bro

00:45:52.380 you know

00:45:54.720 he'll sting

00:45:55.620 his fucking

00:45:56.040 stepmother

00:45:56.640 if you give him

00:45:57.200 half a dollar

00:45:57.860 like a bee

00:45:58.360 don't give a damn

00:45:59.060 if you crack open

00:46:02.740 a bee

00:46:03.040 there ain't a damn

00:46:03.860 in that thing

00:46:04.600 we had

00:46:05.360 they had a fella

00:46:05.920 out there

00:46:06.220 who was a groundskeeper

00:46:07.120 and a groundskeeper

00:46:08.480 basically

00:46:09.000 somebody that's homeless

00:46:10.100 but also

00:46:10.980 you know

00:46:13.800 kind of hangs out

00:46:15.640 in one specific area

00:46:16.960 and this fella

00:46:19.600 B.I.

00:46:20.240 they call him

00:46:20.700 he would

00:46:21.060 he had a glass eye

00:46:23.120 or some type of

00:46:24.500 textile eye

00:46:25.660 you know

00:46:28.120 this fella

00:46:28.540 had something happen

00:46:29.440 you know what I'm saying

00:46:31.100 he lost one of them

00:46:31.860 bad sight balls

00:46:32.860 and somebody

00:46:33.480 you know

00:46:34.700 hooked him up

00:46:35.300 with that replica

00:46:36.060 and

00:46:39.880 he would get bees

00:46:41.520 there were bees

00:46:41.960 everywhere

00:46:42.500 bees on

00:46:43.120 there was bees

00:46:43.760 on everything

00:46:44.460 bees on every

00:46:45.180 trash can

00:46:45.920 had a thousand

00:46:46.660 bees on it

00:46:47.760 and he would

00:46:49.760 take a bee

00:46:50.420 and he would

00:46:51.040 sting right into

00:46:51.920 his own eye

00:46:52.480 with it

00:46:52.940 and it would

00:46:53.620 freak the kids

00:46:54.500 out because

00:46:54.920 we'd never

00:46:55.280 seen it

00:46:55.840 and then

00:46:57.360 here you go

00:46:57.920 he's doing it

00:46:58.740 bees baby

00:47:00.600 mother nature's

00:47:03.160 freaking pitchforker's

00:47:05.180 dog

00:47:05.440 and this fella

00:47:07.020 would just sting

00:47:07.520 his own eye

00:47:08.060 with him

00:47:08.400 just take him

00:47:09.140 and just sting

00:47:09.620 right into his

00:47:10.080 own eye

00:47:10.480 because he had

00:47:10.980 not a homemade

00:47:12.080 eye but

00:47:12.540 semi-homemade

00:47:13.540 you know

00:47:14.460 to step up

00:47:15.060 from homemade

00:47:15.580 like maybe

00:47:16.000 they'd made it

00:47:16.500 in home ec

00:47:17.060 so he had

00:47:20.200 that you know

00:47:20.700 he had that

00:47:21.120 home ec

00:47:21.600 eye and he

00:47:22.080 would just

00:47:22.500 and if you

00:47:22.920 didn't know

00:47:23.360 the new

00:47:23.720 kids didn't

00:47:24.240 know

00:47:24.500 so every

00:47:25.660 time after

00:47:26.240 lunch

00:47:26.580 he'd get a

00:47:27.100 kid over

00:47:27.580 there and

00:47:28.000 get a live

00:47:29.280 bee and sting

00:47:29.940 his own eye

00:47:30.480 with it

00:47:30.780 the idea of

00:47:31.620 anything that's

00:47:32.280 like you know

00:47:33.300 you're turning

00:47:33.900 a straight guy

00:47:34.820 yeah people

00:47:35.640 that's like a

00:47:36.800 fantasy that people

00:47:37.520 have but here's

00:47:38.820 the thing

00:47:39.240 if you do that

00:47:40.660 are they straight

00:47:41.600 right

00:47:42.040 that's the other

00:47:42.700 thing

00:47:43.120 like there's a lot

00:47:44.140 of people out there

00:47:44.920 that are like yeah

00:47:45.440 I fucked a straight

00:47:46.160 guy it's like

00:47:46.560 yeah maybe not

00:47:47.960 maybe not

00:47:49.480 maybe they weren't

00:47:50.600 being honest with

00:47:51.580 you

00:47:51.820 yeah you fucked

00:47:52.440 a liar

00:47:52.880 yeah you fucked

00:47:54.360 someone who's

00:47:55.360 claiming to be

00:47:56.340 straight but it's

00:47:57.060 like yeah

00:47:58.420 I don't like I've

00:47:58.980 met guys they've

00:47:59.640 been like yeah I've

00:48:00.020 never been on a

00:48:00.520 date with a guy

00:48:00.940 before I'm like

00:48:01.320 that's a lie

00:48:02.360 yeah I'm not the

00:48:03.660 guy that brings you

00:48:04.560 into homosexuality

00:48:05.780 yeah you've been

00:48:06.700 here yeah I'm not

00:48:07.400 the gateway drug

00:48:08.180 the guy yeah I'm

00:48:09.020 not like Taylor

00:48:10.320 Lautner who's like

00:48:11.900 you're like let's

00:48:12.440 give it a shot I'm

00:48:13.140 like you've been

00:48:13.940 down the road a

00:48:15.480 little bit here

00:48:16.180 if you're going

00:48:17.140 out with me

00:48:17.680 you've been down

00:48:18.520 the road you've

00:48:19.480 had some

00:48:19.840 experiences you

00:48:21.140 don't go straight

00:48:22.200 to like math you

00:48:23.720 know you hung out

00:48:24.780 in some college

00:48:25.340 party smoked a

00:48:26.240 little weed then

00:48:27.260 lost your job and

00:48:28.140 decided you know

00:48:28.880 what I want to

00:48:29.420 taste glass in my

00:48:30.300 lungs yeah no

00:48:32.520 there's there's yeah

00:48:34.060 I'm not the gateway

00:48:34.840 drug I'm not like

00:48:35.700 the fun party drug

00:48:36.740 yeah no so I I

00:48:38.200 think that the

00:48:38.860 people a lot yeah

00:48:40.140 obviously it's a

00:48:41.100 legit straight guy

00:48:41.840 where you're like

00:48:42.200 whoa this guy's

00:48:42.940 legit straight I

00:48:43.860 think a lot of

00:48:44.420 people are fibbing

00:48:45.440 right especially

00:48:46.300 in Hollywood I

00:48:47.080 think they're lying

00:48:48.060 yeah yeah now do

00:48:49.200 you think there's

00:48:49.660 also now we talk

00:48:50.560 about drug-induced

00:48:51.440 homosexuality a lot

00:48:52.620 on this podcast

00:48:53.040 sure okay and do

00:48:54.920 you believe in that

00:48:56.100 um that I believe in

00:48:59.180 drug-induced drug

00:49:00.100 addiction right so I

00:49:01.740 believe that you will

00:49:02.520 do I believe that you

00:49:04.880 will do things to get

00:49:05.780 drugs right but do

00:49:07.040 you think though that

00:49:07.740 people will get

00:49:08.420 fucked up enough that

00:49:09.860 at a certain point

00:49:10.760 like at 10 o'clock

00:49:12.080 everybody's having

00:49:12.960 beers nobody's gay

00:49:14.320 at 1 a.m. when you

00:49:17.320 know somebody has an

00:49:18.340 eight ball of coke in

00:49:19.380 them suddenly two guys

00:49:20.700 are gay out of the

00:49:21.600 group you're like oh

00:49:22.320 this is it might be

00:49:23.460 that or it might be

00:49:24.040 two guys love coke

00:49:25.160 right like I like in

00:49:27.020 that Tiger King thing

00:49:27.840 those guys weren't gay

00:49:28.780 right they went with

00:49:30.480 women right after that

00:49:32.540 that was their right

00:49:33.460 yeah he was their

00:49:34.180 supplier of drugs I

00:49:35.460 see and then after

00:49:36.240 that they were like

00:49:36.880 yeah I want to fuck

00:49:37.320 women so they engaged

00:49:39.240 in gay activities to get

00:49:40.940 drugs um I don't

00:49:42.940 know I'm not a

00:49:43.520 doctor is it possible

00:49:44.440 that if you're doing

00:49:45.280 drugs you start to be

00:49:46.700 like it's easier to be

00:49:48.120 gay yeah but it's

00:49:49.460 easier to be anything

00:49:50.260 right when you're on

00:49:51.380 drugs it's easier to be

00:49:52.220 anything like when I

00:49:53.260 used to drink I thought

00:49:54.080 I had money I didn't

00:49:55.400 have any money but I

00:49:56.760 was drunk so I thought

00:49:57.700 I was like oh it's

00:49:58.460 easier to be rich I'm

00:50:00.100 rich here's money

00:50:01.640 dinner's on me I was

00:50:03.340 like it's so easy to be

00:50:04.240 rich I don't have any

00:50:05.600 money then you're so

00:50:06.160 broke I don't actually

00:50:07.080 have money but when I'm

00:50:09.500 drunk I feel like I

00:50:10.880 have money yeah so you

00:50:12.060 act like you have

00:50:13.000 money I see yeah so

00:50:14.680 yeah so yeah drug

00:50:15.780 induced anything could

00:50:16.760 happen anything could

00:50:17.660 happen yeah yeah

00:50:18.940 especially the drugs

00:50:20.220 that they have now you

00:50:21.840 know like it's like the

00:50:22.980 argument it's like bath

00:50:24.460 salts it's like is it

00:50:25.900 easier to fight a pit

00:50:27.460 bull when you're on

00:50:28.800 bath salts the answer is

00:50:30.460 yes you know it's like

00:50:32.060 would that but that

00:50:33.200 person probably wasn't a

00:50:35.800 complete stranger to that

00:50:37.220 type of behavior right

00:50:38.240 that person's probably

00:50:38.860 choked a fucking uh

00:50:40.080 jackassel before yeah

00:50:41.220 that person's probably

00:50:42.200 drop kicked a cat or

00:50:43.520 something yeah and they

00:50:44.720 just got really into like

00:50:46.080 fighting pits you know

00:50:48.240 when they had yeah so

00:50:50.380 maybe for some people it's

00:50:51.600 them taking on a fear that

00:50:52.760 they didn't know that they

00:50:53.620 had that might be it yeah

00:50:54.860 do you think some people

00:50:55.800 view homosexuality as a

00:50:57.300 fear yeah sure I think

00:51:00.080 anybody anytime you lose

00:51:02.020 control of your image you're

00:51:03.560 scared so it when you say

00:51:05.800 you're a gay person when you

00:51:07.260 say you're a political like

00:51:08.680 if somebody says I'm a

00:51:09.820 conservative or I'm a

00:51:10.860 liberal or I'm a socialist

00:51:12.380 or I'm gay or I'm a vegan

00:51:14.840 all of a sudden you lose

00:51:16.180 control of your image you

00:51:17.120 lose control of your

00:51:17.720 individuality because that

00:51:19.540 group is associated with all

00:51:21.500 kinds of things some of

00:51:22.460 them are great some of them

00:51:23.380 aren't so the minute that

00:51:24.980 people view you as a member

00:51:27.440 of a group ah scary and if

00:51:29.880 people lose their ability to

00:51:31.980 like manage their their own

00:51:34.220 image and then people like oh

00:51:35.340 well you're gay are you like

00:51:36.360 this are you gonna act like

00:51:37.880 this or whatever you you know

00:51:39.360 so I think the fear is the

00:51:41.840 stigma that's attached to that

00:51:44.300 group okay so for a while

00:51:45.720 there's a stigma attached to

00:51:46.680 homosexuality and and I'm

00:51:48.020 sure there still is in many

00:51:49.160 parts of the country and

00:51:49.900 everywhere so the stigma

00:51:51.680 people fear that do um are

00:51:55.960 more met do you feel like you

00:51:57.120 get hit on by more Mexican

00:51:58.280 men or probably on the apps I

00:52:01.460 don't really answer a lot of

00:52:02.260 the app things but yeah that

00:52:03.480 though yeah I got I there's I

00:52:05.320 I do well with like Mexicans I

00:52:07.740 don't go out with Mexicans

00:52:09.260 that white delight I bet they

00:52:10.700 hit on yeah and I'm not racist

00:52:12.920 but I just don't ever like I

00:52:15.140 never really yeah no I just you

00:52:17.220 know what it is Mexican would be

00:52:18.260 easy to date kind of you know

00:52:19.680 especially because there's a

00:52:20.540 language barrier I've got it

00:52:21.960 with Spanish guys I don't know

00:52:23.020 actually like me like when you

00:52:24.800 say Mexican I think of like a

00:52:26.300 like some guy like a 5-4 just a

00:52:28.600 guy in a truck okay dude in a

00:52:30.740 truck who doesn't speak English

00:52:31.920 now I know that that's a

00:52:33.800 racist thing but I've never

00:52:35.680 been out with I think with an

00:52:37.360 official 100% Mexican guy right

00:52:39.140 but I've gone out with guys

00:52:40.020 that were Hispanic but a lot of

00:52:41.420 guys hit on me that are like

00:52:42.960 from other parts of the world

00:52:44.880 wow yeah white people don't are

00:52:46.800 not into it interesting

00:52:48.040 interesting yeah I think I'm the

00:52:49.880 symbol of I think a bigger white

00:52:51.520 guy is a symbol of prosperity to

00:52:54.140 other races I could see that yeah

00:52:56.020 so I think I think you come yeah

00:52:58.500 they're used to seeing you come to

00:52:59.500 their country to like get to date

00:53:00.980 to date and yeah for sex yeah

00:53:03.260 they're like oh this is the guy

00:53:04.880 who comes down for sex tourism

00:53:07.280 let's just get him now yeah let's

00:53:10.080 just let's just steal his wallet

00:53:11.800 now this is the guy who shows up

00:53:14.480 on the train and looks around a

00:53:15.820 little bit and nods and taps his

00:53:17.680 cane on the ground I go to the

00:53:19.000 Philippines for the food so let's

00:53:21.080 just rob him now let's just take

00:53:23.440 his money now and he doesn't have

00:53:25.440 to buy the flight dude that's

00:53:27.340 crazy yeah you almost you look

00:53:30.080 like yeah like I look like a guy

00:53:31.880 who goes like FDR's grandson I look

00:53:34.720 like a guy that will go you know

00:53:36.220 that the Eli Roth the hostile that

00:53:38.220 movie I look like a guy who goes to

00:53:40.300 Bratislava and who wants to just

00:53:42.040 saw people in half and then just

00:53:44.120 goes back to his bank job and just

00:53:46.300 sit back on the golf course just

00:53:47.620 hitting balls just like yeah I went

00:53:49.720 away we there's a great little spot

00:53:51.380 you can go and just saw people's

00:53:52.860 limbs off great tacos yeah good

00:53:55.080 tacos a lot of fun so I think

00:53:57.060 those people see me and they're

00:53:58.120 like oh good you know fat white

00:54:00.300 guy maybe posse arresting yeah

00:54:02.500 yeah I could there that's totally

00:54:03.920 wild yeah you seem like the guy

00:54:05.120 who made like the monopoly that

00:54:06.460 old guy like his son like kind of

00:54:07.800 one of his sons yeah I look like a

00:54:09.220 guy that didn't earn the money but

00:54:10.920 somehow I have it yeah like I

00:54:12.700 didn't earn it I didn't come up

00:54:14.020 with the thing yeah but like I'm

00:54:15.760 Orville Redenbacher's great

00:54:17.500 grandson yeah and we just

00:54:18.980 Lonnie Redenbacher Lonnie Redenbacher

00:54:20.780 I just made my living popping

00:54:22.020 corn and I just sit at the local

00:54:24.100 bar and I'm real free with my

00:54:25.520 opinions and I've never earned a

00:54:27.860 dollar in my life I've never earned

00:54:29.880 an honest dollar in my life and I'm

00:54:32.040 just living off popcorn money from

00:54:34.380 like four generations ago oh man yeah

00:54:37.080 great it's like being on your Twitter

00:54:38.760 dude yeah that's good that's what I

00:54:41.020 that's what I look like yeah but

00:54:42.560 again you can't control your image

00:54:44.120 right I just look racist yeah I look

00:54:46.480 like you think so yeah I look like a

00:54:49.060 cop who shot a toddler oh yeah but you

00:54:52.380 look like the cop they're like whoa

00:54:53.600 how'd this guy get on like this guy

00:54:55.220 get on the force yeah how do you how

00:54:57.380 like if you've been on the force for

00:54:58.380 eight years it's like oh yeah he's

00:54:59.580 been on the force for eight years

00:55:00.380 right but if he just got on the force

00:55:01.960 how did it even happen yeah how did it

00:55:04.260 even happen who did he bribe to get

00:55:06.740 here and we'd steal some liquor during

00:55:08.500 the day and go bury it in the sand and

00:55:09.980 then go get it back at night like a you

00:55:12.260 know like turtles do and so then we

00:55:16.340 dig it up at night and go drink it and

00:55:18.200 then we'd meet up with strangers on the

00:55:20.100 beach strange women I met this girl

00:55:22.340 that was in the Wiccan one time

00:55:23.700 witchcraftery and me and she wasn't

00:55:26.200 into it she was in it she was doing it

00:55:28.060 she was literally walking on the beach

00:55:29.920 in the middle of the night no man at age

00:55:32.160 15 dude and we I don't know what we did

00:55:34.800 but we did something man that is always

00:55:37.280 the creepiest story and especially on

00:55:39.340 the receiving end as a kid it's a cool

00:55:41.640 story but when you're a father and your

00:55:44.040 kids come back from the beach saying that

00:55:46.480 shit because my son did it in in Maui

00:55:49.660 they came running back in they're like

00:55:51.860 oh we met some dudes on the beach I'm

00:55:53.500 like the fuck what do they look like

00:55:56.220 like well you don't hang out with dudes

00:55:57.940 at the beach no they were cool dad no

00:56:00.640 they're no they weren't yeah no man

00:56:03.340 homeless talking to 15 year old kids is

00:56:06.300 cool at the beach that's true man dude

00:56:10.720 when I think back because when I we had

00:56:12.420 this fellow named Richard Langenstein and

00:56:14.400 and the the listeners know this and

00:56:16.400 this fellow was eventually convicted or

00:56:19.640 semi-convicted pedophile and but when I

00:56:23.980 was young he was just this cool guy yeah

00:56:26.260 we went to smoke weed with and would buy

00:56:28.060 steaks yeah did you fall asleep a lot huh

00:56:30.640 did you fall asleep around this guy

00:56:32.360 there's a couple of half memories that I

00:56:34.220 have that I don't want to read all the

00:56:35.840 way yeah yeah don't go I don't want to

00:56:37.240 read the second half of the book but he

00:56:39.700 was but at the time we thought it was so

00:56:41.520 cool that he would he drove one of my

00:56:43.340 friends to Vegas for the weekend right

00:56:45.060 like pretty sketchy right there right

00:56:47.060 there accused religious brother accused

00:56:48.440 of molesting student but this was after

00:56:50.880 and you knew him oh yeah dude I used to

00:56:53.420 smoke weed with that fellow man he was a

00:56:56.340 teacher at our school man he was a

00:56:58.260 teacher I introduced him to like half of

00:57:01.220 my friends

00:57:01.960 so here's what I didn't realize man I was

00:57:07.600 a freaking like a like a penis mule for

00:57:09.520 this guy yeah you were bringing him in

00:57:12.060 yeah it is because I met him at school

00:57:13.500 he was a substitute teacher you were

00:57:14.960 like that girl on Smallville Allison

00:57:16.600 Mack yeah yeah I was a recruiter should

00:57:19.480 be serving 120 years right now Theo free

00:57:21.900 Galane dude but anyway but at the time

00:57:25.660 it's so crazy at the time I thought oh

00:57:27.360 it's so cool it's so normal I'm just I'm

00:57:29.780 lucky we met this cool guy yeah now when

00:57:32.060 I think about it okay if at 40 I'm at

00:57:35.380 smoking weed with a 15 year old yeah I'm

00:57:39.060 doing no man it would be insane to do

00:57:43.900 that that's it doesn't even make sense no

00:57:46.320 it's so wild how from the other side of

00:57:49.180 the that's what I'm saying it's so clear

00:57:51.220 when when Mike what you got to remember

00:57:53.180 I'm taking responsibility of all my

00:57:55.520 nephews oh like I've told the their

00:57:58.220 parents I got it don't worry they're

00:58:00.100 gonna be safe and they come running back

00:58:01.840 into the into the the house and they're

00:58:04.600 like yo we met these dudes man it's so

00:58:06.660 cool man what Duncan took a hit like my

00:58:09.400 oldest cut my oldest nephew took a hit

00:58:11.600 I'm like what the fuck are you doing

00:58:13.540 what are you guys doing what's going on

00:58:16.160 why would you do that yeah who are these

00:58:18.600 guys he just disappeared yeah Duncan got

00:58:21.820 his nails done by some guy I feel I feel

00:58:26.400 weird if I hang out with Gianni he's only

00:58:27.860 24 yeah that's a good point that's eight

00:58:29.940 years that I feel weird 15 yeah yeah man if

00:58:33.040 if I get a DM or anything like that

00:58:35.160 it's always like hey man thank you so

00:58:37.660 much kid yeah tell your mom and dad I

00:58:40.040 said hi I swear to God I don't I

00:58:43.200 blah blah blah I mean hey tell your

00:58:46.400 father Mr. Coy says thank you all right

00:58:51.940 man do your homework it's sketchy now

00:58:54.540 especially dude hell no I'll ask a girl

00:58:57.560 straight up if they're gonna try to meet

00:58:58.660 to me or not yeah you should yeah yeah

00:59:01.680 just so I have it in writing yeah you

00:59:05.220 know yeah that's good like wait this

00:59:06.840 girl's me to me and said she wasn't

00:59:08.560 gonna meet you said clearly you weren't

00:59:11.440 yeah what yeah what's going on here that

00:59:14.580 coronavirus been COVID-19 well I don't

00:59:19.620 know if you guys know or not but the

00:59:21.300 primate center that I grew up around in

00:59:24.060 Covington Louisiana and why you know

00:59:27.060 they had us out there wrangling chimps and

00:59:28.960 when I was probably I don't even know

00:59:31.620 just I don't even know how tall I was

00:59:35.020 maybe titty high on a middle-aged woman

00:59:36.860 you know top of the titty but you know

00:59:41.640 they gave that same center where monkeys

00:59:46.120 escaped in my hometown growing up they

00:59:47.700 gave them 40 million dollars to fight

00:59:50.280 this virus or to try and cure it dude I'm

00:59:56.680 telling you this man in my town bro they

01:00:03.160 ain't curing shit man you know what I'm

01:00:05.700 saying no doubt I'm not saying but look

01:00:09.320 they got a Popeye's four blocks from the

01:00:11.400 freaking primate center they ain't nobody's

01:00:14.280 curing shit around there I'm not saying

01:00:16.840 they're not doing a decent job or this or

01:00:18.820 that or they're not gonna test and do the

01:00:20.520 testing stuff but look if you come down

01:00:23.940 by the Chifuncta River and you expect us

01:00:28.380 to solve it all save the world we're not

01:00:33.660 doing that we don't do that we want the

01:00:38.000 monkeys to have a little fun we want

01:00:39.440 everybody to flare up a little we're doing

01:00:41.920 Mardi Gras we're doing recipes we saw we

01:00:45.700 ain't doing all of the bullshit saving

01:00:48.360 everybody that's not us somebody has to

01:00:51.680 go somebody has to go to heaven somebody

01:00:53.700 has to go to hell we do we I grew up in

01:00:57.880 this in the stray animal belt so you come

01:01:00.260 down and you can pump 200 billion you can

01:01:02.400 put a billion dollars in 200 billion baby or

01:01:07.580 one billion and look I'm telling you be

01:01:13.280 better off just buying you a a dozen of

01:01:16.460 fresh oyster

01:01:17.140 with a little bit of a bread pudding

01:01:23.600 dessert and calling it a wrap son and

01:01:27.760 save your monkey and save your money to

01:01:30.800 learn the dirty behaviors you know the M word

01:01:33.440 first time I ever heard the M word I was

01:01:35.520 at I was in I was in first grade and

01:01:39.200 these black kids came into our

01:01:40.560 neighborhood we live in like a poor

01:01:41.700 white neighborhood and there was a

01:01:42.740 poor black neighborhood and like across

01:01:44.480 across across Nebraska or not Nebraska

01:01:47.280 I forget well dude that's pretty far

01:01:50.140 then if you're no no no no no that was

01:01:52.220 the street name not the oh right on bro

01:01:54.240 yeah and so damn this dude did not live

01:01:57.460 by black people he said they fucking lived

01:01:59.500 to stay away so they're like wow they

01:02:04.720 were in Nebraska and we were in

01:02:06.280 Florida and it was scary man I gotta be

01:02:08.600 honest with you it was touch and go at

01:02:10.440 times I mean we heard stories oh yeah

01:02:14.620 the rumor mill I saw a note in a bottle

01:02:16.720 one time in the river it was crazy watch

01:02:19.700 out for the blacks

01:02:20.620 that's crazy man oh the N word somebody

01:02:31.780 said it so so these these black kids

01:02:36.780 lived across this this main street from

01:02:38.860 us and then they came into our

01:02:39.940 neighborhood I guess and stole my

01:02:41.380 football my football had a Duke junior

01:02:43.240 with a shoelace a tan shoelace as the

01:02:46.760 strings we used to play in the street and

01:02:48.560 so the the string for the shoelace ripped

01:02:50.660 my dad replaced it with a with a with a

01:02:53.080 tan shoelace it was very distinguishable

01:02:55.120 and a little part we couldn't tie it so

01:02:56.680 there's a little like part of the

01:02:57.980 shoelace sticking out yeah so they came

01:03:00.200 into our neighborhood and they asked if

01:03:01.840 they wanted to play us a football and

01:03:03.240 they had my football and these two

01:03:05.860 brothers Daryl and Darren like yo they're

01:03:08.640 they must I mean I when I remember this

01:03:10.280 story I'm there I feel like they're 18

01:03:11.840 17 they're probably just like 10 of 11

01:03:14.600 yeah and I was six yeah and they were

01:03:17.320 like yo this is football and they're

01:03:19.700 like no this is his football this

01:03:21.540 little other little black kid and

01:03:23.680 they're like fight him for it and I was

01:03:25.300 like I have first grade I was not

01:03:26.680 fighting anyone I was wearing a loin

01:03:27.880 cloth and knee-high moccasins oh yeah

01:03:29.880 and so um Danny's fighting your

01:03:32.260 sexuality bro my dad's like get him

01:03:34.780 some knee pads he's gonna be sucking

01:03:36.140 dick so uh so yeah so he's gonna need

01:03:40.600 knee pads to do it what a pussy

01:03:42.240 what about the good old days man

01:03:49.500 when you would suck dick with no pads

01:03:51.040 skin your knees and you suck a dick be a

01:03:52.800 man about it yeah bro support the union

01:03:55.240 you freak what kind of gay guy puts on

01:03:59.520 knee pads yeah suck a dick like a man

01:04:02.600 man a backup gay dude that's you mind if I

01:04:04.940 pull my socks up oh that's hilarious

01:04:12.840 you want oh my god boy socks up I want

01:04:16.880 to I don't want to skin my knees when I

01:04:18.340 suck your dick go ahead buddy whatever

01:04:20.440 you gotta do whatever you gotta do man

01:04:22.080 do you mind if I pull my pants down for

01:04:23.540 some cushioning on my knees oh fuck what

01:04:28.260 if I take my shirt off and just tie it

01:04:30.060 around both of my knees hey is it cool if

01:04:33.080 I take my shoes off and put my knees

01:04:34.640 in my insular like damn dude I don't

01:04:40.400 even think you shouldn't even be gay

01:04:42.320 little guy anyone who does that you're

01:04:44.400 like this is your first time sucking

01:04:45.720 dick you do this a lot just sitting on

01:04:50.140 your feet kneeling on your fingers

01:04:51.580 actually if you had to blow some dude

01:04:55.500 that's not a bad like I would go through

01:04:57.200 all of those things before you you gotta

01:04:59.780 like you gotta have some ways to get

01:05:01.340 out of it you know I've gone down on my

01:05:02.860 wife on the side of the bed with my

01:05:04.420 knees on the on the wood floors oh that's

01:05:07.000 crazy grab a pillow put them under your

01:05:08.660 knees yeah the but anyway so these

01:05:11.140 black kids come in the neighborhood and

01:05:12.560 they they're like fight this kid and I

01:05:14.540 was like I've never been in a fist fight

01:05:15.880 I want to be in a fist fight and then

01:05:17.440 Daryl and Darren looked at me like like

01:05:19.680 are we gonna have to do this for you and

01:05:21.620 I was in my head I was like give him the

01:05:23.020 fucking ball I don't care my dad already

01:05:24.800 bought me a new one like like and then

01:05:27.900 they got no fight they get into a fight

01:05:30.100 Daryl fights one of the dudes or Darren

01:05:32.840 one of the one of the younger one

01:05:34.180 fights a black dude and they're all it's

01:05:36.380 like it's like five black kids and then

01:05:37.920 seven white kids or eight white kids more

01:05:39.700 white kids because our neighborhood and

01:05:41.740 the dad comes out and the dad starts

01:05:43.940 chanting fight fight and we're in a white

01:05:47.200 white don't win we all jump in and I am

01:05:49.960 and I and then he's hitting me it's your

01:05:51.560 ball motherfucker Janet Janet and here I am

01:05:54.660 just some first grader in a loincloth and

01:05:57.160 knee-high moccasins just fight fight and

01:06:00.220 then I said then I said the word in front

01:06:02.220 of my dad and it was fucking over really

01:06:05.400 oh dad fought him no no no my dad took

01:06:08.080 me down to their fucking house walk me

01:06:10.080 down stood in the fucking thing I said

01:06:11.700 don't ever talk to my son don't ever I

01:06:13.400 told my dad everything happened they

01:06:14.540 stole my ball this way he asked me to

01:06:15.660 say don't ever talk to my son and we

01:06:17.360 moved out of that neighborhood month

01:06:18.720 later month later we were out of that

01:06:20.280 fucking when I was growing up you knew

01:06:21.400 not say the n-word if somebody beat

01:06:23.300 your ass that's how you knew you know

01:06:25.160 what I'm saying like that was the

01:06:26.220 litmus it was like you that's how you

01:06:28.320 learned about it it was like oh somebody

01:06:30.120 said it somebody got their ass beat and

01:06:32.140 then that was it it's so funny man I

01:06:34.000 never heard it like I heard it when I

01:06:35.920 was when we lived in that neighborhood

01:06:37.060 and then I never heard it in our new

01:06:39.140 neighborhood never heard it and then I

01:06:41.240 never I never heard it and I heard it a

01:06:43.280 little bit in high school but but it was

01:06:45.380 we had a black friend Corey Brown and

01:06:48.060 all the kids that grew up with him would

01:06:50.520 drop the word but as a like not not

01:06:52.600 derogatory just as like a joke if if if

01:06:55.660 it was the punt like in a Louis CK way

01:06:57.080 if it was the punchline of a joke

01:06:58.560 meaning towards Kari or or but it very

01:07:01.560 light-hearted they were like guys that

01:07:02.740 he grew up his whole life and then I

01:07:04.980 heard a lot in college I heard it

01:07:06.440 fucking well I went to Florida State

01:07:08.080 and we were segregated it was like

01:07:09.700 FAMU in Florida State so I heard it a

01:07:11.820 lot in college FAMU was more black

01:07:13.160 college a hundred percent yeah and I

01:07:15.100 used to drive the black chicks they'd

01:07:16.940 call they always lived in one dorm it's

01:07:18.820 so funny I ran into this woman the other

01:07:20.340 day who went a black chick my age mm-hmm

01:07:23.040 went to Florida State and I said hey

01:07:24.240 did you ever take safe escort that's

01:07:25.540 what I was I drive them around campus

01:07:28.580 and like a K car do you remember a K car

01:07:30.320 pull up a K car can you it was like the

01:07:32.820 fucking biggest beater you could ever

01:07:35.340 have yeah I think it's called a K car a

01:07:37.080 Q car it's like an old yeah yeah yeah

01:07:39.920 yeah that was it oh yeah Renault that's

01:07:42.380 a that's a Renault isn't it Chrysler K that

01:07:45.560 was a that was what we but it was white

01:07:47.100 and so and man they would what would

01:07:49.440 happen is you knew if the black chicks

01:07:51.620 called on a Saturday night because you

01:07:53.720 it was just taking people to the

01:07:54.760 libraries where you're supposed to go

01:07:55.860 okay but if the black chicks call on a

01:07:57.500 Saturday night you knew they wanted to

01:07:59.500 go to FAMU from Florida State okay and

01:08:01.400 we weren't allowed to drive to FAMU but

01:08:02.960 once they got in the car you had to

01:08:04.040 take them wherever they went so what

01:08:05.260 would happen is they go they go we have

01:08:06.820 a pickup at Debony Hall one based one

01:08:08.840 lemon I have a pickup at Debony Hall her

01:08:10.540 name's Laquisha and you go okay you'd be

01:08:14.060 like is it how many passengers like

01:08:15.800 just one that's what they say and so

01:08:17.500 you'd pull up and then she'd like wave

01:08:19.720 to you and you go hey and as she waved

01:08:22.420 they pile in the other side of the car

01:08:23.940 and she'd get in they go we're going to

01:08:25.660 FAMU bitch I loved it though because I

01:08:28.440 because I love hip-hop so I would just

01:08:30.060 talk hip-hop with them the entire time

01:08:31.380 every I learned about Wu-Tang Clan that

01:08:33.200 way I bought the Method Man album through

01:08:35.760 them I learned about Suave House MJG and

01:08:39.480 8 Ball it was like damn it was like the

01:08:41.560 funnest for me because I loved hip-hop oh

01:08:43.940 yeah and so we would just I'd be like

01:08:45.920 what are you guys listening to and I was

01:08:48.120 driving them for like fucking 20 minutes

01:08:49.780 so we yeah we're listening to what

01:08:51.820 hip-hop there was no player and there

01:08:53.100 was no player in there sometimes they'd

01:08:54.320 have and we are wearing seatbelts and

01:08:55.680 everything no there'll be so many people

01:08:57.040 I was back with seatbelts for life

01:08:59.280 people don't even die back then dude

01:09:01.040 I see my kids put on seatbelts I'm

01:09:03.960 like what do you guys put it I need

01:09:05.420 knee pads for blowjobs what do you got

01:09:08.440 put your shoes and your knees and your

01:09:10.340 a-6 where you blow a guy okay out your

01:09:12.920 inserts yeah you know I took some

01:09:15.280 biscuit out there to the lake to feed to

01:09:18.240 some ducks and you know me man if I'm in

01:09:21.300 a new area I like to get acclimated with

01:09:23.180 the animals bro I'll pet an animal you

01:09:25.520 know I'll pick a snail up and walk three

01:09:27.640 or four feet and set him down you know

01:09:30.360 save him fucking five days of travel

01:09:32.300 that's who I am you know I'll pet a dog

01:09:36.140 I'll whistle at a falcon I'll fucking you

01:09:39.360 know I go out and feed a duck I see a duck

01:09:42.380 I feed a duck and I give a duck bread

01:09:44.240 right so anyway I'm feeding them next

01:09:46.260 thing you know I started getting I put

01:09:47.980 on my Instagram story I start getting

01:09:49.700 DMs people angry you can't give them

01:09:51.820 bread you can't give them bread you know

01:09:55.320 they'll die you know they'll we oh this

01:09:59.040 is what they they said oh if you give

01:10:01.500 them bread they get too jacked up on

01:10:03.960 energy and they will rape each other

01:10:06.340 look man I'm not doing all that I took a

01:10:14.920 half a biscuit and went out there to

01:10:16.480 treat these animals to get acclimated to

01:10:19.080 the area if somebody else if they're

01:10:22.320 doing all it you know I'm not doing part

01:10:24.780 of sexual abuse for animals I'm not doing

01:10:27.460 any of this if they don't want bread they

01:10:30.720 shouldn't come eat it that's not on me

01:10:32.880 people attacking me you're going to

01:10:34.820 hell bread boy and then sending me to

01:10:38.540 uh caskets and a picture of a duck

01:10:41.720 emojis man that's mother nature man if

01:10:47.300 there's a glitch in her pattern they will

01:10:49.020 she will work it out and these ducks look

01:10:52.460 like they wanted the bread that's the

01:10:53.920 thing you know it's like oh they can't

01:10:56.480 digest it they will rape each other well

01:11:00.420 look man I'm not I didn't come to town to

01:11:02.360 be part of that it's a wild thing somebody

01:11:04.020 wants to have in there when they die

01:11:05.460 somebody throw in a little can of ruffles

01:11:07.140 or somebody put a little couple star

01:11:08.680 bursts in there or something okay you

01:11:10.620 know it's it's not uncommon a big thing

01:11:13.940 a lot of people will take cigarettes with

01:11:16.100 them you know because you take somebody

01:11:18.020 who's oh yeah boy you know they'll put

01:11:20.560 those they'll put that you know cigarettes

01:11:22.420 in that shirt pocket you're gonna want

01:11:24.120 that smoke good if you did if I'm dead

01:11:26.320 bruh light me up a damn 100 baby you know

01:11:30.080 what I'm saying I'm burning a fucking

01:11:31.400 Winston dog if I'm dead man I ain't

01:11:35.120 milling around you know I've had you know

01:11:37.760 you know a lot of people put pictures of

01:11:40.420 themselves you know and what about a

01:11:42.040 joint somebody sneak a joint in there

01:11:43.560 sometimes I'm not gonna say that that's

01:11:45.600 never happened because you know when

01:11:47.740 we're when we're standing back up there

01:11:49.840 and the family goes up for their final

01:11:51.460 viewing there's no telling what they

01:11:53.280 can stick in there you know I've had

01:11:55.140 I've had some very interesting stuff you

01:11:57.640 know I had somebody request to be buried

01:12:00.520 with their shotgun amen you know so they

01:12:02.780 took their shotgun with them you know

01:12:04.860 what about can they now somebody

01:12:06.460 requests to be buried with an eight

01:12:07.640 ball you know and I'm not talking

01:12:09.640 bowling I'm talking that cocaine baby

01:12:11.440 can you make can you make do you have

01:12:13.780 to do that well the thing about it is

01:12:16.800 since that would be an illegal drug you

01:12:19.360 know we wouldn't be required to do that

01:12:21.300 but you know if somebody if somebody were

01:12:23.620 to bring that in and you know stick it up

01:12:25.800 under the foot of the casket you know I'm

01:12:27.940 not I don't keep a drug sniffing dog at

01:12:30.380 the funeral home so it might just go on

01:12:32.540 through you know it might just go with

01:12:33.940 them it might go with them yeah so yeah

01:12:36.260 that's one thing there's no TSA when

01:12:37.940 you flying up to heaven that's right

01:12:39.740 that's right you're not gonna be you're

01:12:41.680 not gonna be searched you know so now

01:12:44.580 uh what's the wildest thing somebody's

01:12:46.700 put in there somebody ever put something

01:12:48.000 that's a little too big in there you

01:12:49.940 know somebody try to put a little

01:12:50.940 chainsaw or a leaf blower or something

01:12:52.920 if somebody died doing a uh you know

01:12:55.180 during a dangerous you know leaf

01:12:57.780 blowing or something you know you know

01:12:59.500 I've never put I don't think any power

01:13:01.300 tools in there but I'd go with a damn

01:13:04.320 sander or something you know so what are

01:13:06.800 you gonna use that sander for who knows

01:13:08.700 but I'll tell you this if you show up

01:13:11.220 and you the only dude with a sander you're

01:13:13.380 gonna be you're gonna be steady working

01:13:15.180 that's right but we're not supposed to

01:13:17.320 work in the afterlife but I'm sure there's a

01:13:19.300 couple opportunities to make a little you

01:13:20.920 always want to side hustle don't you

01:13:23.160 can somebody get buried with their money

01:13:25.180 if they want to if they want to bring

01:13:27.980 it in they could get buried with it have

01:13:29.680 you ever had somebody that that was their

01:13:30.980 request and they put it in there not all

01:13:33.220 their money you know I've I've had people

01:13:35.080 you know want to get buried you know with

01:13:37.280 you know granddaddy always wanted to

01:13:39.380 kept a you know a two dollar bill or you

01:13:41.960 know he always had change in his pocket

01:13:44.420 you know didn't want to go anywhere without

01:13:45.940 a little money you know I've had that but

01:13:48.100 I've never had anybody say we're gonna put

01:13:50.100 a million dollars in this casket yeah

01:13:52.160 because you know then you then you get

01:13:55.600 to the age-old question if you put a

01:13:59.380 million dollars in there let's say you put

01:14:02.200 a million dollars in there in cash mm-hmm

01:14:04.300 and then if somebody were to take the cash

01:14:07.760 and write you a check for it you've still

01:14:10.100 got a million dollars mm-hmm so so nobody

01:14:16.000 normally puts cash in there they just

01:14:17.900 maybe we'll put a check yeah so I guess

01:14:20.340 if you want to I guess if you wanted to go

01:14:22.340 with a million dollars we could write you a

01:14:23.960 check for a million dollars because you

01:14:25.760 wouldn't be able to cash it yeah yeah I'd

01:14:27.840 rather send the check just in case later

01:14:29.880 you decide dang I wish I had that cash yeah

01:14:32.020 yeah have you ever stolen anything from

01:14:34.460 anybody no sir no sir that that'd be bad

01:14:38.520 for business yeah be bad for business

01:14:40.220 you know what I don't understand why are

01:14:41.900 we going to space all the time now we

01:14:45.100 can't handle we can't handle shit here

01:14:47.180 you know two out of two out of seven

01:14:50.560 Americans can't swim and we out there

01:14:54.140 getting in the deep end of the of the

01:14:55.880 galaxy with no floaties on bro you see

01:14:59.880 what they send these dudes out there in

01:15:01.680 this thing like a damn 84 uh Chevy blazer

01:15:06.640 sometimes a bit the thing the thing they

01:15:08.500 send these dudes out there you know and

01:15:13.460 it I just don't understand what we're

01:15:15.480 doing it's so lit like I'm not saying

01:15:19.040 it's not fun to think about what's out

01:15:20.900 there but I just all of them I just

01:15:24.200 sending people to space we send two dudes

01:15:27.200 out of Florida a couple spring break

01:15:29.840 addicts every time down here in Florida

01:15:32.580 we blasting two bad boys out there you

01:15:36.640 it's like come on going to space the

01:15:41.760 moon that's the thing oh we want we had

01:15:43.880 a couple fellas on the moon do being on

01:15:48.440 the moon is kind of like that guy that

01:15:50.500 gets on your like at a pool party who

01:15:52.680 gets up on the roof of the house he's

01:15:54.780 like I'm gonna look at me bro you ain't

01:15:59.880 doing much up there buddy there ain't

01:16:02.820 nothing up there for you man and it

01:16:06.360 seems like a cool idea he's climbing up

01:16:08.420 yeah yeah yeah then he gets up there

01:16:10.220 it's like man there's no vending

01:16:12.480 machines there's only the opportunity

01:16:14.840 for real failure you know there's only

01:16:19.620 you're gonna end up in the white

01:16:21.160 section of world star hip-hop videos

01:16:23.160 daddy I'm just saying man it's time to

01:16:26.360 get back to the roots we got to focus

01:16:29.960 on our own little space that's going

01:16:31.460 on here bro this chief calling from

01:16:33.680 Texas what's up chief what up chief

01:16:38.720 boy and you know this fella probably

01:16:41.640 huffing on that bag you don't get the

01:16:44.980 name chief these days chief used to be a

01:16:47.160 Native American superior term if you're a

01:16:50.900 captain of the Native Americans if you

01:16:53.480 basically this you know the Chris Prada

01:16:57.160 Jawea if you's a real you know if you

01:17:00.060 that top dog in the in the feather in

01:17:05.880 that in that in that feather club then

01:17:09.620 you would get that name chief but more

01:17:13.260 recently chief is more of a okay you

01:17:15.940 know little Gary does a lot of chief in

01:17:17.980 that hey sucking on that gas bro puffing

01:17:21.020 that that goo goo that herb baby that

01:17:24.400 that weed huffing that nasty nasty you

01:17:30.740 know he huffing that fuck you know mr

01:17:32.580 mcgregor's gunpowder dog I'm talking

01:17:34.220 about marijuana I'm talking about that

01:17:37.640 puff puff

01:17:38.340 I'm talking about that

01:17:41.940 to your brain that dope weed onward I was

01:17:48.600 watching the podcast of the fucking ladies

01:17:51.760 night one whatever the fuck that was

01:17:54.240 yeah it was ladies night brother onward

01:17:56.740 watching that shit just now you said

01:17:59.100 what do you think is gonna go away in

01:18:01.340 the near future

01:18:02.060 talking about people getting their temps

01:18:05.460 taken shit like that

01:18:06.620 right we're talking about people last on

01:18:08.980 last episode we're talking about people

01:18:10.520 getting their temperatures taken when you

01:18:11.940 go to an event you know you go somewhere

01:18:14.940 and now in the future might they might you

01:18:16.820 know take your temperature check it for

01:18:19.520 snot they might you know touch your kids

01:18:22.040 little ass or something see if it's hot

01:18:23.760 see if you bring it in a little timothy or

01:18:26.560 whatever with that hot ass because you

01:18:29.160 can't do it you can't do that you're not

01:18:31.740 gonna be able to do that as well you

01:18:33.760 bring in that up temperature temp temp

01:18:35.500 empathy it's not gonna go over well with

01:18:40.180 others let's hear more brother thank you

01:18:42.240 for the call

01:18:42.780 uh what's gonna go away i think you know

01:18:45.760 you're not from texas like iron you know

01:18:47.560 but they probably had 10 or 15

01:18:49.340 mexican restaurants in louisiana what's

01:18:51.780 gonna go away though is chips and queso

01:18:54.800 and chips and salsa son that shit is done

01:18:57.400 homie that's not gonna be on the menu no

01:18:59.640 more son unless you get it individually it's

01:19:01.680 not an appetizer no more you know what i'm

01:19:03.800 saying because what's everybody doing

01:19:04.780 they're getting the chips bringing chips

01:19:06.460 to the dip putting it straight in their

01:19:07.920 mouth going back to the chips going back

01:19:09.520 to the dip putting back straight in their

01:19:10.680 mouth damn you know

01:19:12.420 lean with it rock with it huh no you

01:19:14.860 can't sanitize every time you touch a

01:19:16.560 chip you know what i mean them chips

01:19:18.800 are just gonna be too salty after a

01:19:20.180 while so

01:19:20.640 so yeah r.i.p to r.i.p to queso and

01:19:23.880 salsa gang gang

01:19:24.800 gang bro man wow i hadn't thought about

01:19:29.400 that yeah you're gonna have to each

01:19:30.940 person will have to bring a couple of

01:19:32.200 their own chips from home but yeah you

01:19:34.200 can't have that group you can't have

01:19:35.500 that that that swimming pool in the

01:19:37.700 middle of the table that little cheese

01:19:39.780 fucking strip mall in the little of

01:19:41.340 the table and everybody's just scooping

01:19:43.340 in getting this picking up a pair of

01:19:45.600 adidas or picking up a pair of uh you

01:19:47.700 know motorola or something or get some

01:19:50.060 speakers or some fucking chinese food

01:19:52.060 that chang chop you know hmm that's gonna

01:19:56.980 be interesting man yeah that could be one

01:19:58.740 thing that could go away now you got to

01:20:01.080 bring a couple chips from home or

01:20:02.540 something you got to write you know your

01:20:04.200 name on a chip

01:20:05.020 darren you know lil ricky and lil ricky

01:20:09.280 got four chips you know and darren got

01:20:12.520 nine chips darren's big ass got nine

01:20:16.000 chips

01:20:16.900 and ector ector over there and you know

01:20:21.640 he got you know chips running his family

01:20:24.160 so he got 40 chips come on hector no you

01:20:28.580 got 40 chips bro shoot the nine pointer

01:20:31.540 papa and i can't imagine y'all aren't

01:20:33.900 doing swinging and there's a lot of

01:20:35.200 swinging out there in the midwest too

01:20:36.600 especially in missouri oh do you

01:20:38.360 encounter any of that hey no you hear

01:20:41.360 any stories of it is there any no

01:20:43.260 actually if there's it mostly what i see

01:20:45.800 is men that are single out there picking

01:20:47.620 up the lot lizards okay you know and

01:20:50.120 they'll get what they want and then

01:20:51.400 send them on their way and then they

01:20:52.760 stop to the next truck you got to worry

01:20:54.560 about them girls sometimes because i've

01:20:57.580 been told that they can actually lay

01:20:59.680 underneath your trailer and as you're

01:21:02.320 coming out to say if you're a man you're

01:21:04.580 standing out there taking a piss they

01:21:05.900 cut your ankle they can cut you cut

01:21:07.540 you in the back of the ankle like on

01:21:08.600 the hostile rob your ass just like

01:21:10.480 hostile and that's you got to watch

01:21:14.080 them i've watched them at night when i'm

01:21:16.360 just pulling in and it's two o'clock in

01:21:17.960 the morning and it's been raining i'll

01:21:20.760 see you know this it's actually

01:21:21.920 raining there's a woman walking around

01:21:23.860 a pair of shorts and high heels and

01:21:26.280 she's tapping on each door well it's

01:21:28.600 dark can't really tell that helps but

01:21:31.200 you see her you know going from door to

01:21:33.580 door to door to truck to truck to truck

01:21:35.240 oh and then the next thing you know she

01:21:37.400 disappears for about 20 minutes and then

01:21:39.320 she's out again you'll see a light on in

01:21:41.260 the truck that's the dome then you know

01:21:43.700 that's the dome all right uh-huh i know

01:21:46.760 what you're doing uh-huh and then she'll

01:21:48.840 come out but i've seen them walk around

01:21:51.640 the trucks like they're looking for

01:21:53.820 shit right or maybe they're going to

01:21:56.780 disconnect something or pull something

01:21:58.860 you got to watch them because you don't

01:22:00.840 know what they're doing started running

01:22:02.220 into the same fella that in a car right

01:22:05.480 up alongside of me just grinning and

01:22:07.300 waving you know from his car and i'm

01:22:10.120 like yeah how you doing and i'm driving

01:22:12.400 on you know next thing i know he's blowing

01:22:14.660 his horn so i glance down and he's got

01:22:17.100 his junk hanging out oh wow okay his

01:22:19.400 penis huh yeah oh yeah then he backs

01:22:21.780 off okay then he comes back up

01:22:24.320 alongside of me again he's grinning even

01:22:25.980 bigger this time oh yeah his pants are

01:22:28.160 down to his knees this time okay well i'm

01:22:31.140 sitting here just driving you know like

01:22:32.680 literally wanting to put my hand next to

01:22:34.560 my face you know and just kiss here

01:22:36.040 because i'll slow down you know for them

01:22:38.600 to speed up a little bit then they'll go

01:22:39.960 back and then they'll keep alongside of

01:22:42.040 me the whole time no matter what i'm

01:22:43.680 doing oh yeah regardless of the traffic

01:22:45.520 that's going on around us it's just you

01:22:47.180 and them in the world right right slow

01:22:48.820 dancing i saw this guy five separate

01:22:51.780 occasions same stretch of 65 in india

01:22:55.320 indiana and i named him jerk off jim oh

01:22:58.820 yeah he's out there huh he painted the

01:23:02.580 steering wheel did he yes he did what

01:23:05.580 color the white

01:23:06.960 that body glaze i bet damn nasty so you

01:23:13.940 can now you can see his penis now can you

01:23:15.840 see from the truck from your oh yeah it's

01:23:18.360 the perfect view you can see over to the

01:23:19.980 driver's side i can see everything wow

01:23:22.500 inside of a vehicle a four-wheeler so if

01:23:26.200 i'm driving right and i have my penis out

01:23:29.300 yes can you and you're in a uh in a rig

01:23:32.840 yes how can you see my wiener can you see

01:23:35.660 it from through the front window no it's

01:23:38.320 from the side your side window the

01:23:39.920 passenger side you can see from the

01:23:41.480 passenger from where you are me wow so

01:23:43.860 you're passing me in the fast lane i'm in

01:23:45.500 the slow lanes two lane highway like i-65

01:23:48.020 is through indiana yeah i could see

01:23:50.280 everything inside of your vehicle your

01:23:52.000 back seat front seat driver's seat so if i put

01:23:54.480 my penis out you could see it i could see

01:23:56.040 everything that's all i could almost

01:23:57.140 count the hairs oh wow

01:23:58.600 almost hell yeah i didn't know y'all had

01:24:04.740 such good sights oh it's a hell of a view

01:24:06.500 it's the upstairs view from you know

01:24:08.600 seeing y'all from downstairs it was like

01:24:10.360 remember when you got one of those

01:24:11.360 shitty uh those sprint phones those

01:24:13.820 next tells or whatever but you could

01:24:16.860 only you could call people but then you

01:24:19.640 could just talk to also you could talk

01:24:21.480 to one person so you could call anybody

01:24:24.640 you wanted but then you'd be in the

01:24:26.140 middle of a call like yeah everything's

01:24:27.720 going good every and then uh your cut

01:24:30.520 your cousin or somebody fire department

01:24:33.120 whoever the only other person that had

01:24:35.180 to walk you your girlfriend

01:24:37.100 she's like we need some fucking milk

01:24:40.840 like and you're like honey hold on

01:24:44.240 hold on buddy remember that thing that

01:24:47.980 next tell

01:24:48.520 we need some fucking milk randall

01:24:54.600 you're like oh oh fuck oh hold on

01:24:57.620 damien

01:24:58.100 oh must be lines must be crossed up

01:25:01.240 and then you

01:25:03.520 slick sneak uh click over

01:25:07.220 some's hey i'm sorry i'll be right

01:25:10.280 there

01:25:10.780 there's a long line

01:25:13.900 there ain't no fucking line

01:25:17.820 you're lying

01:25:19.400 oh sorry man i gotta go bro

01:25:24.180 remember that fucking next tell that

01:25:26.120 bitch was bright orange dude

01:25:27.600 it looked like it looked like you

01:25:29.660 they had it colored because it looked

01:25:31.280 like you were gonna need to be

01:25:32.100 rescued

01:25:32.720 like anytime you get that bright

01:25:35.500 colored shit bro

01:25:36.620 that's fucking

01:25:37.600 a lot of real poor like sail racks

01:25:41.580 have like real colorful bright shit

01:25:43.620 like oh look at this uh

01:25:45.640 don't you want this hot orange

01:25:47.380 and this shit is hot orange

01:25:49.620 like the hottest orange you could get

01:25:51.840 is three dollars

01:25:52.740 three dollars and four

01:25:53.760 forty cents for this

01:25:55.300 seven xl

01:25:57.560 uh and it's like a fucking

01:26:00.820 v-neck

01:26:03.000 v-neck in the front

01:26:05.160 turtleneck in the back

01:26:06.520 you're like what

01:26:07.840 and it's hot hot orange bro

01:26:11.680 and it's always usually a

01:26:12.940 it's only a black dude could wear it

01:26:14.820 let's be honest bro

01:26:16.660 only a black dude

01:26:18.620 could wear it

01:26:19.740 and they'll look good in it man

01:26:23.220 it'll be triple lime

01:26:25.820 that's the color

01:26:26.520 you'll see on the thing

01:26:27.560 it'll be bright bright green

01:26:28.960 the kind of shit

01:26:30.380 like you can't

01:26:31.700 the guy

01:26:32.580 like if you drive past it on the interstate

01:26:34.480 it's obviously the definite manager

01:26:36.660 of the guy who is doing the construction

01:26:38.740 it's that

01:26:40.100 it's like triple lime

01:26:41.740 and it's size 14

01:26:45.060 double medium bro

01:26:46.380 and that bitch got

01:26:48.260 two arms in the front

01:26:49.280 it's got an arm out the back

01:26:50.660 for exhaust

01:26:51.640 like heat exhaust

01:26:52.620 this shit is

01:26:53.280 I don't know what we're talking about

01:26:55.620 bright colors

01:26:56.360 they got bright colored shit

01:26:58.060 and it's mostly

01:26:59.840 it's predominantly

01:27:00.480 a lot of times

01:27:01.280 for the urban community

01:27:02.240 let's be honest bro

01:27:03.100 because they look good in it

01:27:04.420 you know

01:27:06.200 if white people wear

01:27:08.080 really bright colored shit

01:27:09.220 it look like they need to be rescued

01:27:10.600 for real talking

01:27:13.320 look

01:27:13.540 black people wear something

01:27:15.180 oh that's triple lime

01:27:16.460 oh Ernie got that

01:27:18.860 triple lime header on

01:27:20.580 oh oh

01:27:21.260 he must be getting married

01:27:23.000 you know

01:27:23.580 oh he got that

01:27:26.060 triple lime

01:27:26.880 fucking overcoat

01:27:27.880 with that double

01:27:29.540 vanilla cummerbund

01:27:30.840 bro

01:27:31.100 oh he must be

01:27:32.060 he must be doing a wedding

01:27:33.400 I don't know what a crepe is

01:27:34.980 but I didn't care

01:27:35.840 once I saw this lady

01:27:36.840 working there

01:27:37.360 I said alright

01:27:37.920 you know

01:27:38.880 I'll eat them until

01:27:40.700 you know

01:27:41.460 she and I are married

01:27:42.300 if I have to

01:27:43.020 um

01:27:44.200 they had a girl in there

01:27:46.880 and I saw her

01:27:47.560 and

01:27:47.820 you know

01:27:48.780 I made some small talk

01:27:50.000 and it was

01:27:50.520 it was awkward

01:27:52.500 because we both had masks on

01:27:53.960 you know

01:27:54.380 uh

01:27:55.020 having a mask on

01:27:57.820 it's kind of like

01:28:00.360 the beginning of like

01:28:01.720 um

01:28:02.120 Shrek or whatever

01:28:03.140 you know

01:28:04.700 because you don't know

01:28:05.780 how anybody really

01:28:07.480 you're not getting

01:28:09.860 the full package

01:28:10.860 you're just kind of

01:28:12.380 getting that Japanese

01:28:13.280 package of somebody

01:28:14.560 you know

01:28:15.780 kind of snout up

01:28:16.920 or mid snout upwards

01:28:18.300 you know

01:28:19.660 you're kind of getting

01:28:20.360 that um

01:28:21.220 you know

01:28:24.160 like

01:28:24.600 everybody's kind of

01:28:25.560 a desert nine

01:28:26.460 you know

01:28:27.860 when they got that

01:28:28.520 Middle Eastern

01:28:29.160 you know

01:28:31.140 a lot of

01:28:31.560 Middle Eastern

01:28:32.080 women

01:28:32.480 they wear the

01:28:33.580 kind of that

01:28:36.500 word

01:28:36.920 yarmulke

01:28:37.420 whatever it is

01:28:38.620 that

01:28:38.920 that muffler

01:28:40.740 you know

01:28:42.080 they wear that

01:28:42.620 front muffler

01:28:43.380 you can't see them

01:28:44.200 I was in

01:28:46.480 Saudi Arabia

01:28:47.600 one time

01:28:48.180 at the airport

01:28:48.820 and they had

01:28:50.500 a man there

01:28:51.380 and

01:28:51.580 fat fella

01:28:53.880 I'll be honest

01:28:54.600 with you

01:28:54.940 he really was

01:28:55.660 and I had

01:28:56.200 if I could think

01:28:58.180 of another word

01:28:58.880 to describe him

01:28:59.700 I would use it

01:29:00.480 but I cannot

01:29:03.300 and this man

01:29:04.300 was what you

01:29:04.740 would call

01:29:05.080 a fat fella

01:29:05.800 and he

01:29:08.140 had about

01:29:08.820 five women

01:29:09.500 with him

01:29:09.880 all of his

01:29:10.380 wives

01:29:10.800 and they all

01:29:11.420 had on that

01:29:12.200 you know

01:29:14.320 just that little

01:29:15.180 kind of

01:29:16.660 they're all wearing

01:29:17.200 like a what's

01:29:17.700 behind door

01:29:18.220 number one

01:29:18.820 kind of curtain

01:29:19.440 right on their

01:29:19.920 face

01:29:20.260 you know

01:29:20.540 you can't

01:29:20.900 see them all

01:29:21.520 so that's called

01:29:23.000 that desert nine

01:29:23.880 you know

01:29:24.140 or that desert eight

01:29:24.960 everybody's kind of

01:29:25.700 a desert nine

01:29:26.460 when you can only

01:29:26.940 see the eyes

01:29:27.620 so she said

01:29:28.560 I don't know

01:29:28.940 what she said

01:29:29.600 she might have

01:29:30.320 who knows

01:29:30.940 she could have

01:29:31.320 been calling

01:29:31.660 the police

01:29:32.120 but I was like

01:29:33.920 oh do you

01:29:34.620 you know

01:29:35.440 have

01:29:35.780 maybe we should

01:29:37.400 watch the fight

01:29:38.200 sometime

01:29:38.840 and

01:29:40.660 and that was

01:29:42.600 kind of weird

01:29:43.080 because I didn't

01:29:44.220 I don't even know

01:29:45.200 kind of how she

01:29:45.840 responded

01:29:46.440 if she was like

01:29:46.960 yeah or maybe

01:29:47.760 or

01:29:48.140 and then I was like

01:29:50.780 oh do you have

01:29:51.200 a boyfriend

01:29:51.680 and that's how

01:29:54.120 I said it too

01:29:54.880 like do you have

01:29:55.600 a boyfriend

01:29:56.100 like I just

01:29:57.480 got so

01:29:58.500 just

01:30:00.340 I was just

01:30:01.100 strung up

01:30:01.880 you know

01:30:02.580 just like when

01:30:02.960 you see a rabbit

01:30:03.720 and he's got

01:30:04.160 one of his legs

01:30:04.880 caught in the

01:30:05.460 uh

01:30:05.840 in that wire

01:30:08.440 you know

01:30:09.060 do you have

01:30:09.340 a boyfriend

01:30:09.900 and that's how

01:30:13.240 I was verbally

01:30:14.100 you know

01:30:15.500 I was that verbal

01:30:16.340 kind of hung

01:30:17.180 rabbit

01:30:17.580 and then she'd

01:30:18.500 like given me

01:30:19.040 like my plate

01:30:19.860 and fork

01:30:20.640 and knife

01:30:21.060 that comes

01:30:21.480 with your food

01:30:22.020 that you order

01:30:22.540 and you just

01:30:22.960 go sit down

01:30:23.560 at your table

01:30:24.020 and then it

01:30:24.360 comes out

01:30:24.800 and I was

01:30:25.380 the only person

01:30:25.880 in there

01:30:26.260 so now I have

01:30:27.940 to sit

01:30:28.440 and I

01:30:28.800 this is where

01:30:29.640 I really messed

01:30:30.180 up

01:30:30.340 I sat

01:30:30.920 facing the

01:30:31.860 counter

01:30:32.240 I sat

01:30:34.560 facing her

01:30:35.480 at the

01:30:36.000 counter

01:30:36.260 and then I

01:30:37.340 had to sit

01:30:37.600 there and

01:30:37.980 just eat

01:30:38.360 a crepe

01:30:39.020 which is

01:30:40.740 the

01:30:41.180 loneliest

01:30:42.500 saddest

01:30:43.440 thing you can

01:30:43.900 eat as a

01:30:44.380 rejected man

01:30:45.420 it almost

01:30:46.820 feels like

01:30:47.200 one of those

01:30:47.520 Japanese games

01:30:48.260 shows like

01:30:48.580 oh you lost

01:30:49.360 you eat the

01:30:49.880 crepes

01:30:50.380 you know

01:30:50.800 and so I'm

01:30:52.000 sitting there

01:30:52.420 just eating

01:30:53.180 this sad

01:30:54.660 every bite

01:30:55.920 tasted like

01:30:56.720 this girl

01:30:57.340 did not

01:30:58.120 like me

01:30:59.240 but I did

01:31:02.420 it

01:31:02.700 I did it

01:31:04.380 I went in

01:31:04.900 there

01:31:05.300 I asked

01:31:06.660 her out

01:31:07.240 I didn't

01:31:09.020 get

01:31:09.340 she didn't

01:31:10.240 I

01:31:11.120 there was

01:31:11.560 no option

01:31:12.260 and I

01:31:14.140 asked her

01:31:14.580 her name

01:31:14.900 again

01:31:15.380 and then I

01:31:16.140 sat

01:31:16.460 and point

01:31:18.960 blank

01:31:19.880 ate a

01:31:21.180 crepe

01:31:21.800 in front

01:31:22.200 of this

01:31:22.520 woman

01:31:22.860 very

01:31:25.340 very sad

01:31:26.220 so I

01:31:26.840 went to

01:31:27.060 the park

01:31:27.480 this morning

01:31:28.020 to get

01:31:28.320 a little

01:31:28.520 bit of

01:31:28.780 heat

01:31:29.080 a little

01:31:29.400 free

01:31:29.720 heat

01:31:30.000 from the

01:31:30.340 sunshine

01:31:30.720 you know

01:31:31.380 a little

01:31:32.500 bit of

01:31:32.740 that vitamin

01:31:33.480 D

01:31:33.780 straight from

01:31:34.260 the vitamin

01:31:34.740 G-O-D

01:31:35.520 you feel me

01:31:36.140 I'm talking

01:31:36.520 straight off

01:31:36.980 the tit

01:31:37.500 of the

01:31:37.760 Lord

01:31:38.020 the sky

01:31:38.680 and just

01:31:40.160 catch that

01:31:40.680 free heat

01:31:41.240 right in

01:31:41.540 my face

01:31:42.040 and neck

01:31:42.540 this man

01:31:43.420 I heard

01:31:43.640 this old

01:31:44.040 man

01:31:44.320 he's like

01:31:44.620 Charlie

01:31:45.060 he goes

01:31:45.380 Charlie

01:31:46.080 get over

01:31:46.960 here

01:31:47.800 Charlie

01:31:49.480 get over

01:31:51.060 here

01:31:51.700 and I

01:31:53.720 thought it

01:31:54.060 was two

01:31:54.640 you know

01:31:55.440 kind of

01:31:56.820 drug induced

01:31:57.600 or you know

01:31:58.320 drug induced

01:31:59.100 homosexual men

01:32:00.280 doing a

01:32:01.060 you know

01:32:01.920 splitting up

01:32:02.680 a

01:32:03.120 you know

01:32:04.240 a gram

01:32:04.740 or a

01:32:05.360 vial of

01:32:05.980 a

01:32:06.500 vial of

01:32:08.360 speed

01:32:08.760 but then I

01:32:10.740 look over

01:32:11.140 and this

01:32:11.440 man

01:32:11.980 who I'll be

01:32:14.040 honest

01:32:14.280 this man

01:32:14.720 looked like

01:32:15.320 duty bro

01:32:16.280 this man

01:32:18.280 looked like

01:32:18.740 just man

01:32:19.520 just real

01:32:20.140 just

01:32:20.440 just duty

01:32:21.500 duty

01:32:22.540 and he's

01:32:24.520 yelling at

01:32:25.080 this dog

01:32:25.760 because the

01:32:27.780 dog smelled

01:32:28.520 something or

01:32:29.000 saw this

01:32:29.680 and the

01:32:30.520 dog he's

01:32:30.980 over there

01:32:31.320 he's

01:32:31.460 investigating

01:32:32.120 you know

01:32:33.560 he might

01:32:33.840 have a

01:32:34.100 little bit

01:32:34.420 of hound

01:32:34.920 in him

01:32:35.180 or a

01:32:35.420 little bit

01:32:35.740 of a

01:32:36.320 investigator

01:32:37.420 gadget

01:32:38.040 or whatever

01:32:38.380 that guy's

01:32:38.920 name was

01:32:39.580 remember

01:32:41.120 that show

01:32:41.660 but the

01:32:43.580 the dog

01:32:44.420 he's you

01:32:44.940 know he's

01:32:45.240 sniffing on

01:32:45.700 an orange

01:32:46.080 peel or

01:32:46.600 doing something

01:32:47.180 you know

01:32:47.400 or smelling

01:32:47.960 a um

01:32:48.580 you know

01:32:49.880 a park

01:32:50.300 needle or

01:32:50.840 something

01:32:51.100 or whatever

01:32:51.600 and the

01:32:53.060 man's like

01:32:53.420 shorts

01:32:53.980 get over

01:32:54.600 just yelling

01:32:57.700 at him

01:32:58.620 and Charlie

01:33:00.600 first of all

01:33:01.020 Charlie was way

01:33:01.780 healthier

01:33:02.220 this man

01:33:02.740 looked like

01:33:03.280 just first of

01:33:04.520 all looked like

01:33:04.960 somebody had

01:33:05.520 shaved his

01:33:06.000 whole body

01:33:06.620 with like a

01:33:07.140 one or

01:33:08.600 like a

01:33:08.920 one and a

01:33:09.360 half

01:33:09.520 he had a

01:33:09.900 fade like

01:33:10.400 on his

01:33:10.660 arms

01:33:11.020 shoulders

01:33:11.520 everything

01:33:12.220 just real

01:33:13.940 bristly

01:33:14.560 looking dude

01:33:15.320 kind of guy

01:33:16.440 he looked like

01:33:17.000 he was like

01:33:17.660 a pipe

01:33:18.080 cleaner

01:33:18.480 you know

01:33:19.380 what I

01:33:19.560 remember

01:33:19.740 pipe

01:33:20.080 cleaners

01:33:20.600 remember

01:33:22.660 in school

01:33:23.200 sometime

01:33:23.600 if you

01:33:23.900 was one

01:33:24.200 of the

01:33:24.400 weirdo

01:33:24.800 kids

01:33:25.120 and they

01:33:25.420 at the

01:33:25.800 art

01:33:26.100 class

01:33:26.520 they would

01:33:26.800 give you

01:33:27.060 these pipe

01:33:27.580 cleaners

01:33:28.020 and say

01:33:28.260 hey do

01:33:28.620 something

01:33:28.860 with this

01:33:29.400 and you'd

01:33:31.300 be like

01:33:31.480 what do

01:33:31.800 I do

01:33:32.080 they'd be

01:33:32.280 like

01:33:32.420 ah we

01:33:32.740 don't

01:33:32.920 know

01:33:33.140 just do

01:33:33.500 something

01:33:33.880 we're

01:33:35.220 hoping

01:33:35.380 you graduate

01:33:35.920 soon

01:33:36.360 because nobody

01:33:36.800 could stand

01:33:37.340 you you know

01:33:37.900 and um

01:33:40.840 and yeah

01:33:42.860 this dude

01:33:43.160 I'm thinking

01:33:43.560 man this

01:33:44.020 dog

01:33:44.500 and then

01:33:45.360 so then the

01:33:45.840 dog comes

01:33:46.220 over by

01:33:46.580 me

01:33:47.000 and now

01:33:48.740 I'm kind

01:33:49.060 of pissed

01:33:49.340 because I'm

01:33:49.640 sitting there

01:33:50.000 trying to do

01:33:50.440 a little bit

01:33:50.860 of um

01:33:51.380 legal work

01:33:52.160 or whatever

01:33:52.500 you know

01:33:52.840 writing stuff

01:33:53.540 and drawing

01:33:54.100 and this

01:33:55.000 man's

01:33:55.460 Charlie

01:33:56.460 leave him

01:33:57.140 alone

01:33:57.900 so I said

01:33:59.620 dude I said

01:34:00.080 Charlie ain't

01:34:00.540 messing with

01:34:00.920 me man

01:34:01.540 I said

01:34:03.020 you messing

01:34:03.480 with me

01:34:04.080 by yelling

01:34:04.980 you messing

01:34:05.460 with everybody

01:34:06.300 sir

01:34:07.540 and fuck

01:34:11.000 it just

01:34:11.380 I don't know

01:34:11.820 man

01:34:11.980 and the dog

01:34:13.520 went over to

01:34:14.080 him and I

01:34:14.380 just felt like

01:34:15.240 I don't know

01:34:15.780 when Charlie

01:34:16.160 left dude

01:34:16.800 I felt like

01:34:17.880 damn

01:34:18.280 bro

01:34:18.640 Charlie don't

01:34:20.240 want to be

01:34:20.500 with that

01:34:20.820 man

01:34:21.160 and that

01:34:21.420 man treats

01:34:21.880 him bad

01:34:22.420 that's how

01:34:22.860 I felt

01:34:23.260 dude

01:34:23.600 so

01:34:25.380 but yeah

01:34:26.720 Charlie was

01:34:27.100 like a big

01:34:27.500 dog

01:34:27.940 and I'll be

01:34:28.800 honest I

01:34:29.200 slipped him a

01:34:29.700 piece of

01:34:29.980 Nicorette

01:34:30.620 so

01:34:31.420 so

01:34:31.440 Charlie

01:34:33.480 Charlie

01:34:33.500 get that

01:34:34.220 hit from

01:34:34.600 daddy

01:34:34.980 right there

01:34:35.660 so that

01:34:37.280 guy can

01:34:37.580 kiss my

01:34:38.000 ass

01:34:38.120 bro

01:34:38.260 what I'm

01:34:38.520 saying is

01:34:38.940 you can't

01:34:39.300 your dog

01:34:39.780 is not a

01:34:40.220 slave

01:34:40.560 he doesn't

01:34:40.880 work for

01:34:41.360 you

01:34:41.680 okay

01:34:43.460 you can't

01:34:44.400 you know

01:34:44.720 say this

01:34:45.580 do this

01:34:46.540 Charlie

01:34:46.920 get in the

01:34:47.400 house

01:34:47.920 no ham

01:34:48.820 hocks

01:34:49.260 Charlie

01:34:49.680 nothing

01:34:50.000 for you

01:34:50.600 you can't

01:34:52.340 be like

01:34:52.700 that to

01:34:53.020 an animal

01:34:53.400 you got to

01:34:53.760 treat an

01:34:54.080 animal a

01:34:54.520 little bit

01:34:54.800 kinder

01:34:55.240 I think

01:34:55.680 yeah it's

01:34:57.960 interesting

01:34:58.360 I think

01:34:59.300 people you

01:34:59.880 you know

01:35:00.260 they look

01:35:00.860 to Santa

01:35:01.360 I think

01:35:02.280 as like a

01:35:02.880 symbol of

01:35:03.360 like hope

01:35:04.060 and

01:35:04.760 oh yeah

01:35:05.420 love

01:35:06.380 you know

01:35:07.360 a symbol

01:35:08.380 of magic

01:35:09.000 if you think

01:35:10.180 about children

01:35:10.880 most children

01:35:11.820 are takers

01:35:12.880 they take

01:35:13.980 stuff

01:35:14.400 they want

01:35:15.280 stuff given

01:35:15.880 to them

01:35:16.240 oh yeah

01:35:16.780 there are

01:35:17.360 very very

01:35:18.000 few children

01:35:18.940 that are

01:35:19.280 what I call

01:35:19.920 giver

01:35:20.520 children

01:35:21.320 they want

01:35:22.700 to give

01:35:23.280 to other

01:35:23.780 people

01:35:24.200 they don't

01:35:25.640 want something

01:35:26.160 for themselves

01:35:26.680 so when I

01:35:27.320 when that

01:35:28.620 child

01:35:29.060 when I see

01:35:30.660 that child

01:35:31.320 and we're

01:35:32.140 done with

01:35:32.560 the visit

01:35:33.000 I bring

01:35:33.580 the parents

01:35:34.200 in

01:35:34.580 and I said

01:35:35.460 and I said

01:35:35.940 and that's

01:35:36.560 when I make

01:35:37.060 the gift

01:35:38.780 of the bell

01:35:39.440 to the child

01:35:40.260 I have the

01:35:41.380 parent and the

01:35:42.080 child there

01:35:42.580 and I'm

01:35:42.920 explaining to

01:35:43.660 them what's

01:35:44.420 what's

01:35:45.240 transpired

01:35:45.960 and I'll tell

01:35:47.100 the child

01:35:47.540 that every

01:35:47.940 time you

01:35:48.380 ring that

01:35:48.840 bell

01:35:49.160 I'll be

01:35:49.740 thinking

01:35:50.020 about you

01:35:50.500 oh I

01:35:50.940 love that

01:35:51.340 yeah

01:35:51.600 you know

01:35:52.780 there's

01:35:52.940 something special

01:35:53.440 about just

01:35:53.900 being

01:35:54.200 that uh

01:35:54.880 it's almost

01:35:55.700 like you're

01:35:56.440 like a

01:35:56.740 middleman

01:35:57.220 for um

01:35:58.220 yeah it's

01:36:00.760 like you're

01:36:01.000 like a

01:36:01.400 middleman

01:36:01.940 for some

01:36:02.360 of the joy

01:36:02.800 that's out

01:36:03.180 in the

01:36:03.380 world

01:36:03.700 right

01:36:04.200 it must

01:36:04.640 feel pretty

01:36:04.980 interesting

01:36:05.300 sometimes

01:36:05.980 it is

01:36:06.660 it's a

01:36:07.720 it's a lot

01:36:08.520 of responsibility

01:36:09.440 but it's

01:36:11.600 uh

01:36:12.040 gratefully

01:36:14.460 accepted

01:36:15.060 responsibility

01:36:15.980 amen

01:36:16.660 yo this is

01:36:17.580 Kenny

01:36:17.860 calling from

01:36:18.540 Portland

01:36:18.920 I had an

01:36:19.820 idea here

01:36:20.520 I have a

01:36:21.280 playstation 5

01:36:22.220 that I got

01:36:22.760 from my work

01:36:23.540 but I would

01:36:24.280 like to offer

01:36:24.940 that for one

01:36:25.620 of your

01:36:25.940 struggling

01:36:26.420 single moms

01:36:27.320 so if you

01:36:28.640 have any

01:36:29.120 ladies out

01:36:29.720 there that

01:36:30.820 are trying

01:36:31.760 to make

01:36:32.080 their kid

01:36:32.420 happy on

01:36:32.900 the holiday

01:36:33.320 I have a

01:36:34.220 playstation 5

01:36:35.120 that I'll be

01:36:35.580 willing to

01:36:36.400 donate

01:36:37.120 gang gang

01:36:38.040 gang gang

01:36:39.180 man

01:36:39.600 thank you

01:36:40.060 Kenny

01:36:40.300 that's

01:36:40.600 man

01:36:41.140 that's

01:36:41.440 where

01:36:41.620 it's

01:36:41.820 at

01:36:42.080 we would

01:36:42.680 love

01:36:42.900 that

01:36:43.220 it's

01:36:43.640 that

01:36:43.800 time

01:36:44.060 of year

01:36:44.360 man

01:36:44.600 it's

01:36:44.740 that

01:36:44.900 time

01:36:45.140 of year

01:36:45.420 to

01:36:45.600 extend

01:36:46.360 a little

01:36:46.840 if you

01:36:47.140 can

01:36:47.460 you know

01:36:48.120 the other

01:36:48.400 day

01:36:48.620 I was

01:36:49.020 I was

01:36:49.500 eating

01:36:49.660 breakfast

01:36:50.080 here

01:36:50.480 and I

01:36:51.160 ended up

01:36:51.800 paying for

01:36:52.340 the breakfast

01:36:53.340 there was a

01:36:53.760 couple

01:36:53.940 sitting

01:36:54.260 outside

01:36:54.780 and when

01:36:55.540 I walked

01:36:55.880 in

01:36:56.080 the guy

01:36:56.400 said

01:36:56.660 hey

01:36:57.180 and him

01:36:58.240 and his

01:36:58.420 girlfriend

01:36:58.640 were just

01:36:59.000 visiting

01:36:59.320 in town

01:36:59.800 and so

01:37:00.200 before I

01:37:00.620 left

01:37:00.840 I just

01:37:01.120 bought

01:37:01.400 my meal

01:37:01.820 bought

01:37:02.040 their meal

01:37:02.560 and I'm

01:37:03.080 just saying

01:37:03.440 that because

01:37:04.040 about two

01:37:05.620 weeks later

01:37:06.180 I'm across

01:37:06.960 the street

01:37:07.460 eating breakfast

01:37:08.100 at a different

01:37:09.000 place

01:37:09.440 and we

01:37:10.920 get up to

01:37:11.340 pay and

01:37:11.640 leave

01:37:11.800 and they

01:37:12.020 said oh

01:37:12.300 somebody

01:37:12.580 bought

01:37:12.960 your meal

01:37:13.400 I said

01:37:14.840 dang

01:37:15.180 didn't know

01:37:16.800 who

01:37:17.040 I don't

01:37:17.300 know who

01:37:17.560 it was

01:37:18.020 you know

01:37:18.560 some damn

01:37:19.180 Scrooge McDuck

01:37:20.240 got warm

01:37:21.020 hearted

01:37:21.460 you know

01:37:21.800 he grilled

01:37:22.240 his own

01:37:22.600 a orders

01:37:23.040 with the

01:37:23.420 Lord

01:37:23.720 he got

01:37:24.240 heated

01:37:24.720 in the

01:37:25.020 heart

01:37:25.240 and somebody

01:37:25.620 bought

01:37:25.900 me

01:37:26.020 that damn

01:37:26.460 meal

01:37:26.780 that's

01:37:27.460 karma

01:37:27.740 roulette

01:37:28.340 and

01:37:28.500 karma

01:37:29.020 will

01:37:29.300 really

01:37:29.600 this

01:37:29.860 this is the

01:37:30.760 time of

01:37:31.120 year when

01:37:31.420 karma

01:37:31.840 is out

01:37:32.320 there

01:37:32.640 karma

01:37:33.300 got on

01:37:33.660 the

01:37:33.820 zoot

01:37:34.160 suit

01:37:34.560 karma

01:37:35.160 is

01:37:35.300 listening

01:37:35.600 to

01:37:35.800 21

01:37:36.240 savages

01:37:37.060 karma

01:37:37.680 got his

01:37:38.100 nose

01:37:38.460 hairs

01:37:38.740 clipped

01:37:39.100 out

01:37:39.340 he's

01:37:39.580 out

01:37:39.800 there

01:37:40.140 this

01:37:40.620 when

01:37:40.840 karma

01:37:41.340 is

01:37:41.840 paying

01:37:42.160 attention

01:37:42.720 so it's

01:37:43.600 a great

01:37:43.920 time to

01:37:44.360 extend

01:37:44.820 that olive

01:37:45.380 leaf

01:37:45.720 to somebody

01:37:46.380 how can

01:37:47.320 I help

01:37:47.680 what can

01:37:48.120 I do

01:37:48.580 and when

01:37:49.240 I get

01:37:49.540 up in

01:37:49.780 the morning

01:37:50.180 this week

01:37:50.640 what's

01:37:50.840 been making

01:37:51.220 me feel

01:37:51.660 good

01:37:52.060 is just

01:37:52.880 saying

01:37:53.200 what can

01:37:53.780 I do

01:37:54.500 what can

01:37:55.420 I do

01:37:55.820 for somebody

01:37:56.460 that's

01:37:56.760 not me

01:37:57.360 so anyway

01:37:58.280 what a small

01:37:58.940 little world

01:37:59.400 how that

01:37:59.720 worked out

01:38:00.280 but thank

01:38:00.800 you Kenny

01:38:01.100 we'll find

01:38:01.600 someone who

01:38:03.000 can use it

01:38:03.480 I think

01:38:03.920 so hit the

01:38:04.560 hotline if you

01:38:05.100 have some

01:38:05.320 suggestions

01:38:05.720 and we did

01:38:06.420 we had some

01:38:06.860 calls that

01:38:07.320 came in

01:38:07.780 man

01:38:08.060 here was the

01:38:09.380 first one

01:38:09.760 that came

01:38:10.120 in

01:38:10.420 hey

01:38:10.700 this is

01:38:11.240 Mike from

01:38:11.880 Philadelphia

01:38:12.880 Pennsylvania

01:38:13.420 I just wanted

01:38:14.460 to maybe

01:38:14.820 nominate my

01:38:15.700 sister

01:38:16.380 she works

01:38:17.020 really hard

01:38:17.560 she has

01:38:17.880 two kids

01:38:18.580 one's eight

01:38:19.360 one's ten

01:38:20.140 they're real

01:38:20.720 big in the

01:38:21.180 video game

01:38:21.740 so I thought

01:38:22.220 that would be

01:38:22.720 perfect for

01:38:23.400 them

01:38:23.580 they're great

01:38:24.320 kids

01:38:24.700 she's an

01:38:25.600 awesome mom

01:38:26.180 so

01:38:26.460 thank you

01:38:27.100 Mike I didn't

01:38:27.460 mean to cut

01:38:27.840 you off there

01:38:28.240 man but

01:38:28.680 yeah we're

01:38:29.940 gonna we'll

01:38:30.580 connect you

01:38:30.920 with Kenny

01:38:31.300 and you know

01:38:32.540 that's Kenny

01:38:33.040 man that's

01:38:34.000 Kenny helping

01:38:34.500 out there

01:38:34.940 those things

01:38:35.320 are hot

01:38:35.600 commodity

01:38:36.120 bro damn

01:38:37.060 dude somebody

01:38:37.880 be dying of

01:38:38.420 cancer you

01:38:38.860 offering some

01:38:39.400 plasma they say

01:38:40.260 no but you

01:38:40.800 hit them with

01:38:41.160 that and they

01:38:44.060 want it bro

01:38:44.760 let's hit some

01:38:45.760 other people up

01:38:46.600 hey Theo

01:38:47.360 it's Wes from

01:38:48.180 Minneapolis man

01:38:49.120 I got an

01:38:50.360 excellent single

01:38:51.040 mom that she's

01:38:52.620 working to get

01:38:53.720 her kid back

01:38:54.400 she has him

01:38:54.980 about half the

01:38:55.780 year right now

01:38:56.620 and she's gonna

01:38:57.040 have him over

01:38:57.580 christmas she

01:38:58.400 has a really

01:38:58.940 great kid who

01:38:59.720 was a big

01:39:00.160 gamer and she

01:39:01.360 manages a gas

01:39:02.220 station so she's

01:39:03.040 up there grinding

01:39:03.680 every day but

01:39:04.580 amen brother I

01:39:05.700 think we can help

01:39:06.320 out with that um

01:39:07.380 let me give you a

01:39:08.340 buzz right now

01:39:09.580 hello what's up

01:39:13.700 Wes bro how you

01:39:14.600 living man

01:39:15.360 good who's this

01:39:16.780 this is Theo man

01:39:17.760 Theo Vaughn the

01:39:18.440 comedian

01:39:18.860 oh get out of

01:39:20.340 town man

01:39:21.040 what's up brother

01:39:22.100 not much brother

01:39:23.640 looking for the

01:39:24.320 lord you know me

01:39:25.320 boy

01:39:25.840 amen amen

01:39:27.580 yeah I appreciate

01:39:28.260 your call man it's

01:39:28.980 really nice of you

01:39:29.560 to call just that you

01:39:30.300 left on the hotline

01:39:31.700 we'd already found

01:39:32.800 somebody already had

01:39:33.680 called before they got

01:39:34.500 the ps5 but there's a

01:39:36.040 company that helps us

01:39:36.860 out sometimes this

01:39:37.540 company called magic

01:39:38.280 mind and they wanted

01:39:39.200 to offer a ps4 or I

01:39:42.540 think it's a ps4 and a

01:39:43.820 television maybe I don't

01:39:44.860 know if the kiddo would

01:39:45.540 you know if that would be

01:39:46.340 something that they

01:39:46.860 would like

01:39:47.400 man that would be

01:39:48.540 amazing dude you have

01:39:49.740 no idea how awesome you

01:39:51.080 just made my day

01:39:51.900 dude you made me feel

01:39:53.280 good man I appreciate

01:39:54.060 it man have a good day

01:39:54.940 dude and we'll circle

01:39:55.620 up with you bro and

01:39:56.380 thanks for thinking of

01:39:57.040 somebody else man

01:39:57.960 awesome peace

01:39:58.940 all right gang

01:39:59.960 hi Theo my name is

01:40:01.920 Tim Carter

01:40:02.700 I figure let's call in

01:40:04.000 right now and see what

01:40:04.720 we can do

01:40:05.420 hello

01:40:07.960 hey what's up man

01:40:09.440 this is Theo Vaughn

01:40:10.600 bro I'm calling just

01:40:12.180 about you called a

01:40:13.200 couple about the

01:40:14.740 podcast about the

01:40:15.860 we're talking about

01:40:16.420 the PlayStation

01:40:16.880 yes sir my gosh

01:40:18.920 I

01:40:19.320 wow how are you

01:40:21.280 thank you so much

01:40:21.960 for calling

01:40:22.440 oh yeah man no

01:40:23.740 worries man thank you

01:40:24.460 for calling bro

01:40:25.120 so we gave away the

01:40:26.540 PlayStation somebody

01:40:27.420 else had called before

01:40:28.300 you but we wanted to

01:40:29.180 we want to do

01:40:29.860 something nice

01:40:30.720 maybe we could just

01:40:31.580 at least set you guys

01:40:32.440 up with like a gift

01:40:33.380 card or something

01:40:34.340 maybe to Best Buy or

01:40:35.720 to some other place

01:40:36.820 wow Theo I just I just

01:40:39.280 don't know what to say

01:40:40.060 man I just I wasn't

01:40:41.300 expecting this at all

01:40:42.580 and I think that's a

01:40:43.600 great idea and that

01:40:44.720 will be just such a

01:40:45.460 great Christmas this is

01:40:46.480 her first Christmas in

01:40:47.380 Portland and that'll

01:40:48.120 oh that will just be

01:40:49.220 so awesome so awesome

01:40:50.640 thank you man thank

01:40:52.240 you bro I don't know

01:40:53.320 these people but it's

01:40:54.120 just you know it's your

01:40:54.880 own kindness and your

01:40:55.640 own thinking about

01:40:56.240 somebody else and it's

01:40:57.680 funny how one thing

01:40:58.560 like that kind of

01:40:59.240 spurns the other ones

01:41:00.280 you know all right

01:41:01.200 gang Tim bro be good

01:41:02.360 man okay thank you

01:41:03.900 all right cheers

01:41:04.520 brother

01:41:05.180 hi Theo this is

01:41:07.500 Susie again I'm a

01:41:09.520 single mom I have

01:41:11.780 been looking for this

01:41:13.520 PS5 everywhere and I'm

01:41:15.960 trying to get it for

01:41:16.720 my daughter for Christmas

01:41:17.740 she's been doing really

01:41:19.180 good in school here in

01:41:20.760 Michigan we've been

01:41:21.560 shut down because of the

01:41:22.920 Rona I feel you baby

01:41:24.960 that dirty Rona bro

01:41:26.520 that's that long AIDS

01:41:27.740 baby let me call you

01:41:28.760 see what we can do

01:41:30.980 hello hey what's up

01:41:32.820 who's this hey it's

01:41:35.460 Susie what up Susie

01:41:38.440 what up Theo how are you

01:41:42.400 Mara Theo's on the phone

01:41:44.280 I want to thank you

01:41:45.240 first of all just for

01:41:45.860 for thinking to somebody

01:41:46.820 else and just you know

01:41:47.820 calling and leaving your

01:41:48.640 voicemail I thought it

01:41:49.980 was really sweet of you

01:41:50.880 the problem is we already

01:41:52.580 gave away the PS5 but I

01:41:53.800 wanted to try and think of

01:41:54.680 something else that we

01:41:55.660 could do that you think

01:41:57.820 would be nice oh my god I

01:42:00.140 don't even know what to

01:42:00.900 say how about this I know

01:42:03.960 it's kind of impersonal but

01:42:05.320 what if we just gave you

01:42:05.960 like a $500 gift card and

01:42:07.200 you could do something

01:42:07.940 nice for you guys

01:42:09.100 something that you

01:42:09.700 wanted to do I know it's

01:42:11.800 not a PS5 but um no I

01:42:15.180 appreciate it so much

01:42:16.360 we've we've been

01:42:17.880 struggling I mean I try

01:42:19.620 to you know you know my

01:42:21.020 attitude is always

01:42:22.240 positive but just to hear

01:42:24.020 from you is just wow

01:42:25.940 well that's sweet of you

01:42:29.400 thanks thank you for

01:42:30.580 making my day and thanks

01:42:31.480 for the nice words

01:42:32.400 thank you thank you so

01:42:35.840 much Merry Christmas to

01:42:37.120 you your family like I

01:42:38.980 love your podcast I can't

01:42:40.300 wait to hear the next

01:42:41.040 one oh my god I don't

01:42:41.780 even know wow thank you

01:42:43.960 for the phone call you're

01:42:45.060 welcome Suzy thank you

01:42:47.280 you bet we love you bye

01:42:48.320 bye bye hey to you my

01:42:51.000 name's Caroline I'm from

01:42:52.580 Gastonia North Carolina

01:42:53.980 right outside of Charlotte my

01:42:55.640 nephew was diagnosed with

01:42:57.300 cancer like a year and a

01:42:59.340 half ago but I was just

01:43:00.880 listening to your podcast and

01:43:03.020 I heard about the the guy

01:43:05.220 that has the playstation he

01:43:07.240 was wanted to donate and

01:43:08.900 my sister she has two kids

01:43:11.740 and her oldest son Adam he

01:43:14.460 just passed away in October

01:43:15.860 from cancer he was 16 and

01:43:18.820 then she has a younger son

01:43:20.700 Andrew and he will be 15 he

01:43:25.220 just lost his brother and I

01:43:27.160 know she was trying to find

01:43:28.440 like the new Xbox or the new

01:43:30.340 playstation to give to him

01:43:31.800 for Christmas that would

01:43:32.840 kind of be special but well

01:43:35.460 thank you so much for this

01:43:37.080 uh let's see if I can get a

01:43:38.820 hold of you hey Caroline

01:43:40.660 hello hey what's up this is

01:43:43.400 Theo I'll call you called uh

01:43:45.040 into the podcast the other

01:43:46.040 day from the podcast oh my god

01:43:48.360 yes how are you how are you

01:43:52.080 I'm laying in my floor right

01:43:53.580 now freaking out oh damn well

01:43:56.860 look just you know what I'm

01:43:58.100 saying keep your clothes on

01:43:59.160 sorry I don't want to get

01:43:59.780 accused of nothing you know

01:44:01.180 oh my god I was literally

01:44:05.160 just talking about you I'm

01:44:07.420 like speechless right now my

01:44:08.660 face is like pulsating

01:44:10.060 damn well you you might be on

01:44:13.420 drugs I think damn it's not

01:44:15.280 I'm not I feel like I am but

01:44:18.320 I'm not okay well look it

01:44:19.600 sound like if your damn face

01:44:21.900 is pulsating you might want to

01:44:23.400 gee up a little bit you might

01:44:24.600 want to you know you might want

01:44:26.040 to use a skin softener or

01:44:27.800 something no I just wanted to

01:44:31.000 say your message was so sweet I

01:44:32.260 thought it was very nice of you

01:44:33.180 to call and uh I think

01:44:34.500 playstations are just all sold

01:44:35.800 out so we're committed to help

01:44:36.860 find like a um xbox do you think

01:44:39.100 the kids would want that or do

01:44:40.480 you think we should just wait and

01:44:41.600 whenever playstations come back

01:44:43.300 he would prefer an xbox if he got

01:44:47.600 an xbox he would poop in his

01:44:49.920 pants well damn y'all's whole

01:44:52.000 family need to tighten up it

01:44:53.120 sounds like but uh we do we're

01:44:55.440 going through stuff all right y'all

01:44:57.300 be good all right stealth and

01:44:58.440 percocets girl you know it okay I

01:45:01.680 will okay deal deal deal and I will

01:45:04.420 too

01:45:04.780 okay okay deal okay deal oh man

01:45:12.920 that's great that's sweet I think

01:45:15.760 we got I think we got to a good

01:45:17.100 space here I think we got to a good

01:45:20.400 space

01:45:20.920 you know these are our lives man

01:45:28.620 these are our lives

01:45:29.500 these are our lives and we got to

01:45:34.900 live them

01:45:35.280 you know we got to live them

01:45:38.480 so if you're struggling with some

01:45:41.640 motivation I I you know I really

01:45:43.640 hope that you find it and and just

01:45:46.420 take that next step take a small

01:45:47.820 step and a few small steps make a

01:45:49.360 big step and a few big steps make a

01:45:54.280 real distance this is our lives you

01:45:56.820 know and we all have different ways

01:45:58.060 that we go about fighting but but we

01:46:03.200 don't give up you guys be good to

01:46:05.460 yourselves man and I'm gonna do the

01:46:08.160 same for me man we deserve it brother

01:46:09.780 gang

01:46:10.200 I'm just sitting on your front porch

01:46:13.700 wondering how could I be so far from

01:46:16.940 my home

01:46:18.880 and my mind is somewhere else but when

01:46:25.020 I find it I'll patch up where it's

01:46:27.880 been blown

01:46:29.740 shine that light on me

01:46:36.580 I'll sit and tell you a story

01:46:42.220 shine on me

01:46:46.840 ladies and gentlemen I'm Jonathan

01:46:50.240 kite and welcome to kite club a

01:46:52.480 podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts

01:46:54.180 on things like current events

01:46:55.600 stand-up stories and seven ways to

01:46:58.120 pleasure your partner the answer may

01:47:00.420 shock you sometimes I'll interview my

01:47:02.580 friends sometimes I won't and as

01:47:05.540 always I'll be joined by the voices in

01:47:07.380 my head you have three new voice

01:47:10.260 messages a lot of people are talking

01:47:12.720 about kite club I've been talking about

01:47:15.200 kite club for so long longer than anybody

01:47:17.700 else so great

01:47:18.960 I swear is it do anyone who doesn't listen to

01:47:23.900 kite club is a dodgy bloody wanker

01:47:26.260 do you know what I mean

01:47:27.220 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese

01:47:30.520 and a McFlurry

01:47:31.540 sorry sir but our ice cream machine is

01:47:33.100 broken

01:47:33.400 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me

01:47:38.340 anyway first rule of kite club is tell

01:47:41.140 everyone about kite club second rule of

01:47:43.380 kite club is tell everyone about kite club

01:47:46.660 third rule like and subscribe wherever you

01:47:49.260 listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube

01:47:51.800 yeah and yes don't worry my Brad Pitt

01:47:54.540 impression will get better

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 02, 2021

E315 Virtual Gnomes

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