This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E323 Josh Wolf

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00:01:05.260 Today's guest is a friend of mine and he has a new special that will be March 4th live.

00:01:14.220 The jump cut special. You can get tickets on his website.

00:01:17.020 JoshWolfe.com.

00:01:19.740 Today's guest is comedian Josh Wolfe.

00:01:24.020 Shine that light on me

00:01:27.540 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:01:33.520 Shine on me

00:01:38.220 And I will find a song

00:01:42.460 I'll be singing just for you

00:01:45.780 You know what's crazy is that like

00:01:51.400 When you go on tours like that

00:01:53.600 You know you

00:01:55.060 You don't think you're any different

00:01:57.160 From the first day to the last

00:01:59.520 But like when you get off the road for a week

00:02:01.920 You're like oh

00:02:02.560 Who was that dude at the end of that

00:02:05.480 You know what I mean?

00:02:06.380 Like you slowly morph into

00:02:08.320 Beth always tells me

00:02:09.920 She's like I don't really like you after those long

00:02:12.260 She's like you're a different person because

00:02:14.460 You're used to doing everything

00:02:17.240 That you want

00:02:18.600 At the whim when you want to do it

00:02:20.500 You're living on your time with your vibe

00:02:22.900 Yeah 1.00

00:02:23.460 And you come home and you fuck it up 0.99

00:02:25.440 You got like you got responsibility 0.99

00:02:27.140 But like also

00:02:28.160 There's other people in your world now

00:02:30.500 Yeah

00:02:30.960 Who expect things from you

00:02:32.320 But you are so used to

00:02:33.840 On the road

00:02:34.540 Everything you want to do

00:02:36.800 When you want to do it

00:02:37.860 Is when it happens

00:02:38.940 Yeah I think you know

00:02:40.200 Yeah I think being on the road

00:02:41.500 Honestly I just realized

00:02:42.240 Is probably the most organized

00:02:43.720 Time of my life

00:02:45.600 Like I am on

00:02:47.160 Or I'm almost

00:02:47.900 Grateful sometimes

00:02:49.440 That there's the road

00:02:50.380 Because it's like

00:02:51.340 Then I know a place I have to be

00:02:53.820 I have some

00:02:54.540 A little bit more responsibility

00:02:56.520 You know

00:02:57.480 There's no doubt

00:02:59.040 This quarantine

00:03:00.080 Has done a couple things for me

00:03:01.920 One

00:03:02.900 It has highlighted

00:03:04.700 That I'm not as

00:03:06.720 Mentally

00:03:07.900 I'm not emotionally

00:03:10.720 In as good a shape

00:03:11.860 As I thought I was

00:03:12.680 Dang 0.87

00:03:13.100 Because I've had more time

00:03:15.320 With my own brain

00:03:16.820 Do you know what I mean

00:03:17.700 It hasn't been like

00:03:18.520 The road had me on a schedule

00:03:20.700 Oh yeah

00:03:21.480 The road

00:03:21.840 It offers a lot of

00:03:22.840 Get out of jail free cards

00:03:23.800 Yeah 1.00

00:03:24.040 Oh shit's bad at the house 1.00

00:03:25.540 Yeah 1.00

00:03:26.060 I'll be in Cedar Rapids

00:03:28.700 Yeah

00:03:29.040 You wanna go to Des Moines

00:03:30.920 This weekend I do

00:03:31.840 Yeah

00:03:32.120 Oh this relationship's

00:03:34.020 Falling apart

00:03:34.580 Oh well

00:03:35.440 I'm in Buffalo

00:03:36.680 Thursday through Sunday

00:03:37.940 It's true

00:03:39.160 Yeah

00:03:39.840 But also like

00:03:41.000 With more time

00:03:42.700 To

00:03:43.280 Be introspective

00:03:45.300 I've realized

00:03:46.700 Oh some of those things

00:03:47.620 Because of my schedule

00:03:49.500 Has been so hectic

00:03:50.140 Some of my

00:03:51.360 Some of my shortcomings

00:03:52.620 I've really covered up

00:03:54.060 Really

00:03:54.460 With

00:03:55.200 Yeah man

00:03:55.880 Yeah

00:03:56.540 One thing that this year

00:03:58.220 Has shown me

00:03:58.860 Like cause I will tell you

00:04:00.300 I'm at the same time

00:04:01.640 Mentally healthier

00:04:02.560 Than I've ever been

00:04:03.240 But also

00:04:03.880 Unhealthier

00:04:05.300 Because I've

00:04:06.260 I've really sat with myself

00:04:07.520 So I've peeled back

00:04:09.140 More layers

00:04:09.860 Which feels healthy 0.98

00:04:11.280 But then I'm peeling shit back 0.97

00:04:12.400 And being like 1.00

00:04:12.780 Oh you're fucked up 1.00

00:04:13.940 This onion's dirty 1.00

00:04:14.940 Yeah

00:04:15.340 Yeah

00:04:15.700 This onion needs to be washed

00:04:17.560 You know

00:04:18.460 Like this layer

00:04:19.660 This onion has tears in it

00:04:21.180 It looks like people

00:04:23.940 Been crying on this onion

00:04:25.360 What

00:04:25.700 Yeah

00:04:26.080 So

00:04:26.660 But it's been

00:04:27.720 It's been interesting man

00:04:29.220 You know

00:04:29.600 It's been interesting

00:04:30.380 The one thing I've discovered

00:04:32.540 The most dude

00:04:33.380 Is that a lot of times

00:04:34.880 The happier

00:04:36.720 I appear

00:04:38.380 It's a

00:04:39.720 It's me

00:04:40.560 Covering up for something

00:04:41.840 Oh dang

00:04:43.700 Cause I'm a super happy

00:04:44.920 Optimistic dude

00:04:45.680 Yeah

00:04:45.900 You always seem like

00:04:46.660 The happiest dude

00:04:47.680 And so what I've looked at

00:04:49.180 Is sometimes

00:04:49.800 When I'm really doubting myself

00:04:51.900 Or really

00:04:53.420 Struggling with something

00:04:55.060 Personally

00:04:55.520 I'm extra happy

00:04:57.380 Now

00:04:57.620 I am an optimistic dude

00:04:59.200 And by nature

00:05:00.000 I like lifting people up

00:05:02.480 Like I think

00:05:03.040 The more successful

00:05:03.780 All of us are

00:05:04.720 The better it is

00:05:05.720 For everybody 1.00

00:05:06.260 Like all that shit 1.00

00:05:06.920 But there's some times 1.00

00:05:08.820 Where I

00:05:09.500 Put on that face

00:05:10.920 When inside

00:05:11.700 I'm like

00:05:12.200 The more I hate myself

00:05:14.240 The happier I am

00:05:15.420 To other people

00:05:15.980 Really

00:05:16.440 It's what I've just found

00:05:17.860 Over quarantine dude

00:05:18.920 It's been bananas

00:05:20.940 Really

00:05:22.100 Damn that's interesting man 0.91

00:05:23.380 I'm trying to think about that 0.99

00:05:24.820 As you say it

00:05:25.400 Like I wonder if I

00:05:26.480 The more I hate myself

00:05:28.540 The happier I am

00:05:29.340 To other people

00:05:30.060 It's my defense mechanism

00:05:32.620 You know what I mean

00:05:33.140 Yeah no I understand

00:05:33.720 Yeah I can

00:05:34.600 I can't know

00:05:36.160 I didn't know that

00:05:37.160 But you always seem like

00:05:38.540 You know

00:05:38.820 You're always usually like

00:05:40.080 Really affable

00:05:41.660 And you know

00:05:42.580 Friendly guy

00:05:43.540 What's your

00:05:45.880 Like when you are

00:05:47.680 In a bad spot

00:05:48.540 So some people

00:05:49.560 Disappear

00:05:50.460 They remove themselves

00:05:52.060 From other people

00:05:53.980 Right

00:05:54.320 That's their defense

00:05:55.540 Like I have a family member

00:05:57.200 That like when they disappear

00:05:58.360 I'm like oh they're

00:05:59.020 Something bad's happened

00:06:00.640 Yeah

00:06:00.940 Do you know

00:06:01.440 But it's the opposite for me

00:06:04.100 I want to show you

00:06:05.040 How well I am

00:06:06.140 So I'm

00:06:06.640 I'm in front of your face

00:06:08.740 Showing you how good I am

00:06:10.160 Do you know what I mean

00:06:10.860 Yeah

00:06:11.180 That's interesting man

00:06:12.900 I wonder what

00:06:13.460 I wonder what way I am

00:06:14.880 I think

00:06:15.300 I don't know

00:06:16.680 I feel like I'll probably be

00:06:18.360 I'll get more down in the dumps

00:06:19.960 Probably

00:06:20.320 You know

00:06:21.460 Or I'll get

00:06:22.360 I definitely get angry

00:06:23.800 Like if things aren't going good

00:06:25.560 I'll get

00:06:26.000 I've found recently

00:06:27.780 In this past year

00:06:28.520 Definitely anger

00:06:29.380 Is something that I've had to deal with

00:06:30.500 More than ever

00:06:31.060 Do you

00:06:31.700 Do you find yourself

00:06:32.740 Like can you

00:06:33.860 When you get really mad

00:06:34.860 At like inanimate objects

00:06:36.280 Or the GPS

00:06:36.980 You're like oh yeah

00:06:37.740 The things

00:06:38.220 Like when you're screaming

00:06:39.620 In your car at the GPS

00:06:40.820 Oh yeah 1.00

00:06:41.460 This bitch is going to die 1.00

00:06:42.780 Yeah 1.00

00:06:43.120 It's just like the laundry room door

00:06:45.540 Yeah

00:06:45.940 Yeah

00:06:46.320 Yeah

00:06:46.640 Yeah 1.00

00:06:46.780 Alright motherfucker 1.00

00:06:47.660 I'll say things like that to it 1.00

00:06:49.160 Like it's been building up

00:06:51.660 It's playing against me

00:06:52.740 And it just got

00:06:53.460 Finally edged me again

00:06:54.660 Finally you guys are

00:06:55.620 You and the door

00:06:56.520 Are going to have it out

00:06:57.320 Once and for all

00:06:58.160 I can kind of understand

00:06:59.160 That video where the guy

00:06:59.920 Just throws that screen

00:07:01.300 Out into his yard

00:07:02.100 You know

00:07:02.500 When they have that video

00:07:03.580 Can you find that Sean

00:07:04.560 Also that one

00:07:05.920 That you know

00:07:06.440 One of my favorites

00:07:07.260 Is that dude

00:07:07.820 That the door dash

00:07:09.220 Or the grub hub dude

00:07:10.000 Who goes walking up the steps

00:07:11.300 And he slips

00:07:11.900 With all of his food

00:07:13.420 That he was delivering

00:07:14.160 And then he just picks up the cup

00:07:15.640 And throws it at the house

00:07:16.700 Just for

00:07:17.320 You know what I mean

00:07:18.240 It's already empty

00:07:21.840 But he's just

00:07:22.520 He wants one last

00:07:23.400 He's got one last hurrah

00:07:24.240 Yeah

00:07:24.780 He wants to get it in there

00:07:25.960 That's it right there

00:07:26.540 Sean you want to click on that

00:07:27.380 Yeah this

00:07:28.900 Yeah this is

00:07:31.160 This is one of my favorites

00:07:32.080 He's been working all day

00:07:36.380 Because also

00:07:37.760 We

00:07:39.160 There's a kid

00:07:39.960 Looking at him

00:07:40.780 Oh dad's a hero

00:07:41.620 And he's like

00:07:42.620 This I can't even get back in

00:07:43.840 It's hot out there

00:07:46.960 What's he thinking right now

00:07:48.660 Okay

00:07:49.540 I'm gonna 0.99

00:07:50.200 She wants me to fix this shit 1.00

00:07:52.100 He's 1.00

00:07:52.520 He's doing his best

00:07:53.980 To keep it under control

00:07:55.140 Right now

00:07:55.600 Yes

00:07:58.520 Yes 0.97

00:08:00.520 What the hell 0.87

00:08:03.820 Praise God baby

00:08:06.400 Let me tell you my favorite part about that

00:08:08.040 Yeah

00:08:08.320 I like seeing angry dude 0.99

00:08:10.000 Lift shit above his head 0.99

00:08:11.260 Before he breaks it 1.00

00:08:12.120 You know

00:08:12.780 That is an angry movement right there

00:08:18.300 It's such a caveman move

00:08:20.020 Yeah

00:08:20.360 And you know what

00:08:21.560 Like

00:08:21.780 He really wanted to

00:08:23.660 I'm sure when he looks back at this video

00:08:25.100 He's not gonna like the way he looked

00:08:26.620 I'm sure he wanted to look smoother

00:08:28.160 Yeah

00:08:28.560 When he was wrecking it

00:08:29.720 Or when he was throwing it off the

00:08:31.180 You know

00:08:31.480 None of it looked great

00:08:32.980 You know

00:08:33.400 No it'll make him probably

00:08:34.420 I bet

00:08:34.880 I would

00:08:35.280 I wonder where that guy is now

00:08:36.480 Like did he get into CrossFit

00:08:37.680 Did he get into yoga

00:08:38.760 Did he get into

00:08:40.120 Did he start a screen

00:08:41.180 Nowadays

00:08:41.620 You could take a viral video

00:08:42.960 And literally start a screen door throwing competition

00:08:47.520 Yeah

00:08:48.080 Or maybe

00:08:48.800 So you could throw the screen

00:08:49.400 Maybe that child is so embarrassed of his father

00:08:51.660 He's like

00:08:52.200 I'm gonna work out for the rest of my life

00:08:53.720 Yeah

00:08:53.960 Maybe

00:08:54.040 Maybe

00:08:54.440 Maybe

00:08:55.000 That kid looks at that video a couple times

00:08:57.320 And like

00:08:57.700 Look at this

00:08:58.340 He couldn't even smush a screen door

00:09:01.420 This Homer Simpson

00:09:02.520 Yeah

00:09:02.820 But

00:09:04.640 You know what

00:09:05.780 That screen door

00:09:06.560 The only thing more frustrating to me

00:09:09.300 Besides not being able to put it up

00:09:10.540 Is you know the

00:09:11.840 When you had the headphones

00:09:13.220 That had the wire

00:09:14.220 Mm-hmm

00:09:14.920 And you would knock the

00:09:16.060 You would knock it

00:09:17.320 And pull the earbuds out of your ear

00:09:18.940 Mm-hmm

00:09:19.280 Nothing made me want to strangle another human door 1.00

00:09:22.220 Especially at the gym

00:09:23.560 Yeah

00:09:24.180 When you're working out

00:09:25.600 And you just knock it

00:09:26.380 And both of them fall out of your ears

00:09:27.920 You're like

00:09:28.340 Because at the gym

00:09:30.280 I don't

00:09:30.620 Like

00:09:31.080 I don't know about you

00:09:32.180 I need to find

00:09:33.180 Motivation

00:09:35.220 So I'll pick

00:09:36.560 One person to hate

00:09:37.920 At the gym

00:09:39.640 I'll pick out their shorts 1.00

00:09:41.120 Like I fucking hate their shorts 1.00

00:09:42.440 Fucking Allen 1.00

00:09:43.200 Yeah 0.99

00:09:43.680 Like Allen

00:09:44.620 Like Allen's wearing Asics 0.99

00:09:46.200 Fuck Allen 0.99

00:09:47.240 You know 1.00

00:09:47.580 Look at this hoe 1.00

00:09:48.260 Yeah

00:09:48.500 And I'll just stare at Allen the whole time

00:09:50.560 I've had a guy walk up to me like

00:09:51.920 Do we have a problem?

00:09:53.140 I'm like nah

00:09:53.620 I'm sorry

00:09:54.020 I just

00:09:54.300 I had to

00:09:55.300 I picked somebody to hate

00:09:56.420 Yeah

00:09:56.920 When I live

00:09:57.560 It's interesting to really have like

00:09:58.860 Like an adversary I guess

00:10:01.020 Like a motivation

00:10:01.860 Like

00:10:02.200 Like why

00:10:02.860 Why is he wearing jeans

00:10:04.140 And a wife beater

00:10:05.120 And

00:10:05.520 You know

00:10:06.260 Like it's an outfit

00:10:07.560 Like he's wearing

00:10:08.220 Ashton wash jeans

00:10:09.280 And boots

00:10:10.080 And a wife beater at the gym 1.00

00:10:11.160 And he's doing pull ups

00:10:11.920 And you're like

00:10:12.280 That's a lot 0.98

00:10:13.020 I fucking hate this 0.98

00:10:13.880 I don't 0.99

00:10:14.100 Yeah

00:10:14.760 Yeah

00:10:15.180 I think

00:10:15.500 I'm trying to think

00:10:16.280 If I'm at the gym

00:10:17.300 And I think I used to feel

00:10:18.700 More competitive at the gym

00:10:19.780 Now I'm just like

00:10:20.780 I'm just happy to be in the gym

00:10:23.020 Like

00:10:23.900 Yeah I don't do as much weights

00:10:26.240 Right now

00:10:27.020 So I'm just doing more yoga

00:10:28.140 And stuff

00:10:28.560 But I guess I feel like

00:10:29.940 When I'm in there

00:10:31.220 I try to look at the chicks 0.99

00:10:33.900 But a lot of chicks now 1.00

00:10:35.120 Everybody wears headphones now

00:10:36.900 So you can't talk to any chicks 0.98

00:10:38.260 So then also

00:10:40.640 If you get recognized

00:10:41.480 It's always by dudes

00:10:42.520 So it's like

00:10:43.320 You end up having to talk

00:10:44.480 To a bunch of dudes

00:10:45.400 The whole time

00:10:46.040 You know

00:10:46.260 Which is great

00:10:46.960 Yeah

00:10:47.320 But it's not chicks 0.99

00:10:48.240 No

00:10:48.680 No

00:10:49.060 You know

00:10:49.360 And you know

00:10:51.140 Like

00:10:51.860 I don't want

00:10:53.520 I hate it when people

00:10:55.320 Stand around

00:10:56.080 And they'll watch you

00:10:57.500 Do your set

00:10:58.180 Waiting to talk to you

00:10:59.280 You're like

00:10:59.460 Oh man

00:11:00.020 I'm having a hard time

00:11:00.880 Working out with you

00:11:01.540 Just staring at me bro

00:11:02.500 You know what I mean

00:11:03.140 Like

00:11:03.380 Yeah

00:11:03.800 Maybe we can meet up

00:11:05.520 The worst is the

00:11:06.720 I didn't want to bother you

00:11:08.500 Like they walk you

00:11:09.220 Follow you in the locker room

00:11:10.060 I didn't want to bother you

00:11:10.740 Doing your workout

00:11:11.240 So you thought

00:11:12.120 Dick in hand was a better

00:11:13.420 Yeah 0.98

00:11:13.700 This is a good time

00:11:14.500 This is a better time

00:11:16.960 To jump in

00:11:17.540 Some guy sat next to me

00:11:18.620 At a restaurant the other day

00:11:19.840 And sat right

00:11:20.520 And he talked

00:11:20.940 He tried nine different ways

00:11:22.180 To talk to me man

00:11:23.160 And finally I said

00:11:24.220 Hey man

00:11:24.540 I'm just trying to watch

00:11:25.200 Some bass

00:11:25.560 I'm just trying to watch

00:11:26.220 A basketball

00:11:26.660 And chat with my friend

00:11:27.800 I had to just

00:11:28.420 It was just too much man

00:11:30.920 He was just

00:11:31.600 And he was pouring out

00:11:32.700 His life story

00:11:33.680 It was just really sad

00:11:34.680 And like

00:11:35.040 I get it sometimes

00:11:36.280 But this dude

00:11:36.920 Was also pretty wasted

00:11:38.000 I think

00:11:38.480 So that makes it tougher

00:11:39.360 I am not one of those dudes

00:11:41.680 That like

00:11:42.120 I think you talking to me

00:11:43.640 Comes with the job

00:11:45.820 I think like

00:11:47.280 If you see me out

00:11:47.960 Especially us

00:11:48.920 It's different man

00:11:50.440 I think if you're Tom Cruise

00:11:51.480 Right

00:11:51.700 Tom Cruise is on a big screen

00:11:52.900 So the difference

00:11:54.460 Between seeing Tom Cruise

00:11:55.380 He's a movie star

00:11:56.160 You leave your house

00:11:57.240 To go into a dark room

00:11:58.740 So if you see Tom Cruise

00:11:59.980 At the airport

00:12:00.380 You're like

00:12:00.640 There's Tom Cruise

00:12:01.320 But you're not going to

00:12:01.960 Go up and talk to him

00:12:02.620 Because he doesn't play Tom Cruise

00:12:04.700 He plays all those different roles

00:12:05.860 You're Theo Vaughn

00:12:07.080 Yeah 1.00

00:12:07.420 You talk about your personal shit 0.99

00:12:09.780 So they feel like 1.00

00:12:11.060 They know

00:12:11.620 Like you're

00:12:12.180 Oh right

00:12:12.700 Do you know what I mean

00:12:13.240 They have an attachment to you

00:12:14.560 That they don't have to Tom Cruise

00:12:15.880 Right

00:12:16.440 So I get it

00:12:17.480 When people come up at the bar

00:12:18.680 Or come up

00:12:19.140 Because they already feel like

00:12:20.600 Oh I know that dude

00:12:21.580 Oh yeah yeah

00:12:22.120 Do you know what I mean

00:12:22.580 I totally get it

00:12:23.300 Yeah podcast listeners

00:12:25.300 And podcasters

00:12:26.300 And everybody

00:12:26.760 There's definitely more of like

00:12:27.760 A family sense

00:12:28.720 Kind of

00:12:29.120 I think so

00:12:29.700 A relation sense

00:12:30.640 The thing is

00:12:31.820 This guy

00:12:32.400 That I ran into

00:12:33.420 I don't think he knew me

00:12:34.680 I think he was just

00:12:35.860 A drunk guy

00:12:36.880 You could literally see

00:12:38.260 That he went from person

00:12:39.160 To person

00:12:39.640 And people just kept

00:12:40.600 Sending him away

00:12:41.400 He's like

00:12:42.160 Everybody I know

00:12:42.860 Died in a car accident

00:12:43.860 And I'm like

00:12:45.820 Ugh

00:12:46.360 And you were like

00:12:47.580 How'd you get out

00:12:48.320 I bet they just told you that bro

00:12:51.380 I bet they are living

00:12:52.880 Happily in Utah

00:12:54.020 Have you tried their numbers

00:12:54.980 Because I think they still work

00:12:56.320 Yeah

00:12:56.640 I had a dude tell me once

00:12:58.120 He had a couple missing teeth

00:13:01.200 And he goes

00:13:02.500 I lost my teeth

00:13:03.160 Because my daddy ran over me

00:13:04.340 With a tractor

00:13:04.900 When I was six

00:13:05.540 And I was like

00:13:05.980 What

00:13:06.460 And basically

00:13:08.540 I was like

00:13:09.140 Well I'm gonna have to

00:13:09.820 This is a story

00:13:10.720 I do need to hear

00:13:11.460 You know

00:13:11.760 I'm so glad

00:13:12.620 But like

00:13:13.460 One of the things

00:13:14.560 That I do love

00:13:15.380 Also

00:13:16.460 Is I 0.99

00:13:17.200 Really love weird shit 0.99

00:13:18.720 And the people 0.99

00:13:19.040 Who follow me know

00:13:19.760 The one thing I do love

00:13:21.700 Is people share

00:13:22.300 Their weird stories

00:13:23.280 And their weird pictures

00:13:24.240 And their weird videos

00:13:25.280 With me

00:13:25.720 That is something

00:13:27.380 I can't get enough of

00:13:28.520 I just looked

00:13:29.220 You know

00:13:29.920 I just looked at a bunch

00:13:30.720 This morning

00:13:31.260 That people sent to me

00:13:32.280 I wake up every morning

00:13:33.260 Like oh my god

00:13:35.140 Is any of it on your story

00:13:36.180 Or anything

00:13:36.580 I just posted one

00:13:38.640 On my

00:13:39.520 Facebook page

00:13:41.660 About this dude

00:13:42.380 And I have to

00:13:43.020 Post the follow up videos

00:13:44.400 This dude

00:13:45.840 His

00:13:46.380 He had a growth

00:13:47.560 In his earlobe

00:13:48.300 And I just

00:13:51.140 That's a genetic thing

00:13:52.000 Usually

00:13:52.380 Well no

00:13:53.020 This was a

00:13:53.960 What is it like a seed

00:13:55.100 Like something they planted

00:13:56.100 In his ear

00:13:56.540 It looked man

00:13:57.360 It looked like

00:13:58.200 Like there was gonna be

00:13:59.140 A palm tree

00:13:59.660 Like it looked like

00:14:00.740 Well you know

00:14:01.220 If you bury some seed

00:14:02.140 Under your skin

00:14:02.800 It will actually sprout

00:14:03.800 Isn't that crazy

00:14:04.480 What

00:14:05.120 Here go down a little

00:14:06.160 Down down further

00:14:07.000 Further further

00:14:07.560 Further

00:14:07.860 Further

00:14:08.140 Further

00:14:08.420 Further

00:14:08.680 There's me

00:14:09.920 Keep going

00:14:10.560 Further

00:14:11.120 Further

00:14:12.000 Keep going

00:14:13.240 Sorry

00:14:14.620 Maybe one more

00:14:16.100 That's Jacob Wolfe

00:14:16.840 Maybe one more

00:14:17.540 I don't know how far down that was

00:14:19.540 The guy who posts on my page

00:14:20.780 Apparently

00:14:21.140 Maybe he posted it

00:14:23.620 Look at that 0.99

00:14:24.580 Damn is that you 0.99

00:14:25.380 Yeah 1.00

00:14:25.800 What do you think about that dude

00:14:27.060 That's my first headshot

00:14:30.500 Ever

00:14:31.460 First headshot

00:14:32.780 Ever

00:14:33.800 Wow

00:14:34.940 What do you think about that one man

00:14:36.400 As long as we got each other

00:14:38.420 Yeah dude

00:14:39.240 I mean I'm

00:14:40.280 We got the world

00:14:41.260 Why didn't I get

00:14:42.080 That's an 80s sitcom

00:14:43.740 Like that's Kirk Cameron

00:14:45.380 When was that do you think

00:14:46.940 I can tell you exactly

00:14:48.440 When that was dude

00:14:49.300 That is 1993

00:14:51.700 There we go

00:14:54.180 Let's go

00:14:55.200 It's 1993

00:14:56.660 The guy who took that picture

00:14:58.980 Theo

00:14:59.360 So I went up

00:15:00.560 This was

00:15:01.020 A gay man 0.73

00:15:01.620 Oh yeah 0.97

00:15:02.240 It always is

00:15:03.280 Look I'll tell you this

00:15:04.100 And this is a

00:15:04.900 Like

00:15:05.320 Wanting photos in Los Angeles 0.96

00:15:07.380 Is a gateway drug to homosexuality man 0.99

00:15:09.760 It's basically

00:15:10.560 Yeah

00:15:10.980 Dude

00:15:11.820 This dude was like

00:15:13.660 Hey

00:15:14.100 You know

00:15:15.440 I came into his house

00:15:16.440 And we took a couple pictures

00:15:17.360 What does his name start with?

00:15:19.240 Oh do you remember?

00:15:20.220 It was 93

00:15:20.940 Oh

00:15:21.540 I'm sure there's only

00:15:23.220 I feel like it's the same guy

00:15:24.940 It's so long ago

00:15:26.420 Okay

00:15:26.760 I don't remember

00:15:28.040 I would have to look

00:15:29.160 But I know that he was like

00:15:30.380 Hey I have some

00:15:31.240 He was wearing a robe

00:15:32.820 When I showed up 0.99

00:15:33.560 Oh damn 0.98

00:15:34.120 And I'd always heard 0.99

00:15:36.080 The robe stories

00:15:36.980 And I'm gonna tell you

00:15:38.540 Part of me was like

00:15:39.360 Man how come I've never

00:15:40.260 Been robed before

00:15:41.140 Like what's wrong with me

00:15:42.220 Like

00:15:42.520 Oh yeah I think that a lot

00:15:44.060 I've never had a stalker

00:15:45.000 Like I've never had

00:15:45.860 A female stalker 1.00

00:15:46.680 Like

00:15:46.900 It's like

00:15:47.840 Okay 0.99

00:15:48.280 Damn 0.99

00:15:48.840 Yeah 0.99

00:15:49.100 All right

00:15:49.480 I've had one

00:15:50.340 She goes by the name

00:15:51.820 Sandy Wang

00:15:52.620 She has a website

00:15:54.820 Out about me

00:15:56.320 No way

00:15:56.900 Yeah I think it's

00:15:57.560 SandyWang.net

00:15:58.580 And

00:15:59.660 But I can show you

00:16:02.000 I have about

00:16:02.600 Five thousand

00:16:03.580 There it is

00:16:04.160 Yeah

00:16:04.980 That's her 0.84

00:16:06.580 This is her artwork

00:16:07.440 Okay so this is how

00:16:08.360 I got put into this

00:16:09.400 Ready for this?

00:16:10.020 This is good art

00:16:10.220 So I'm out at

00:16:11.760 A dog park

00:16:12.700 In LA dude

00:16:13.860 It's not that good

00:16:14.700 And this woman

00:16:15.500 Was

00:16:16.360 Walking her chihuahua

00:16:18.020 And I had my dog

00:16:18.720 At the time

00:16:19.240 And she said

00:16:19.960 Can we take a little

00:16:20.560 Walk around

00:16:21.140 I had met her

00:16:22.060 A couple times

00:16:22.560 And she seemed normal

00:16:23.300 And I was walking

00:16:24.900 With a buddy of mine

00:16:25.680 And what kind of lady 1.00

00:16:26.460 White lady 0.95

00:16:27.000 Black 0.64

00:16:27.320 Little Asian woman 0.67

00:16:28.160 And

00:16:29.440 We take one lap

00:16:31.540 Around the park

00:16:32.140 And she said

00:16:32.900 You know the twin towers

00:16:34.880 Exploded because the

00:16:36.620 Government found a video 0.99

00:16:37.500 Of me masturbating 0.93

00:16:38.320 In my living room 0.98

00:16:39.000 And I was like

00:16:39.800 Oh

00:16:40.180 Now my friend was like

00:16:41.840 Hey I'm out

00:16:42.600 Yeah

00:16:43.160 But I'm like

00:16:43.980 Oh man

00:16:45.120 Yeah

00:16:45.400 So she said

00:16:47.700 She said

00:16:49.260 Will you

00:16:49.740 Go to my website here

00:16:51.500 And look at my art

00:16:53.020 I'm like yeah

00:16:53.480 Let's see how

00:16:53.940 She also has a website

00:16:55.540 Basically dedicated

00:16:57.440 To a

00:16:58.200 Conspiracy theory

00:16:59.180 About me

00:16:59.660 Dang 0.87

00:17:00.140 And

00:17:00.960 So she ended up

00:17:03.040 Going to jail dude

00:17:03.920 Really?

00:17:05.600 Did you press charges?

00:17:07.200 She wrote me

00:17:08.320 From jail

00:17:08.880 And she said

00:17:09.780 And the letter

00:17:10.560 Was super like

00:17:11.640 Well written

00:17:12.960 And

00:17:13.420 Was she attractive

00:17:14.620 Was she

00:17:15.120 Yes

00:17:15.500 Okay

00:17:15.880 Okay

00:17:16.420 Okay

00:17:16.840 And so she

00:17:17.760 She got arrested 0.95

00:17:18.440 Because she said

00:17:19.420 Mercedes Benz

00:17:20.380 Set her up

00:17:21.000 She was walking

00:17:22.200 By Mercedes

00:17:22.820 And I guess

00:17:23.360 If you buy a Mercedes

00:17:24.160 They start the car

00:17:25.800 And they leave it

00:17:26.240 Out front for you

00:17:26.920 So you can just

00:17:27.700 Right

00:17:28.500 So she was like

00:17:30.680 So she was like

00:17:30.700 Well why would they

00:17:31.420 Have started a car

00:17:32.140 And left it out front

00:17:32.760 If it wasn't for me

00:17:33.500 So she just took a car

00:17:35.440 So she just got in

00:17:36.820 And drove away

00:17:37.460 And so when she got arrested 0.97

00:17:39.380 She was like

00:17:40.600 You know

00:17:40.940 The system is against me

00:17:42.380 And it's an

00:17:43.540 It's an Asian 1.00

00:17:44.400 You know

00:17:45.000 It's an Asian thing 1.00

00:17:45.920 And the police were like

00:17:47.220 You actually stole

00:17:47.960 Stole a car

00:17:49.500 So she wrote me

00:17:50.540 From jail

00:17:51.180 Asking for $10,000

00:17:52.300 No way

00:17:53.260 And what happened

00:17:56.820 You hooked up with her

00:17:57.520 No dude

00:17:58.480 She

00:17:58.820 This is like

00:17:59.780 Oh wow

00:18:00.720 This is her website

00:18:02.200 Yes

00:18:02.820 Yeah

00:18:04.220 So here's the emails

00:18:05.680 This is the second email

00:18:06.420 I will probably not be

00:18:07.380 Sending anymore

00:18:07.920 Anyone who says that

00:18:08.900 Will definitely be

00:18:09.840 Sending more

00:18:10.420 Oh my lord dude

00:18:12.000 So

00:18:12.280 Look at the subject

00:18:14.180 Oh this is disgusting 1.00

00:18:14.880 3R sphincter asshole 1.00

00:18:16.360 Rectum asshole 1.00

00:18:17.120 Oh come on 1.00

00:18:17.720 This is too much man

00:18:18.640 Really sorry for what's

00:18:19.520 Happening in your life

00:18:20.080 But you gotta stop

00:18:21.000 Sending these to me

00:18:21.960 Thanks Josh

00:18:22.740 Oh you emailed her back

00:18:23.580 I was just trying

00:18:24.380 To get out gracefully

00:18:25.740 Because she was sending

00:18:26.740 The weirdest

00:18:28.060 Dude if I sent

00:18:29.420 If I showed you

00:18:30.000 The 5,000 emails

00:18:31.300 She sent me

00:18:32.020 Wow

00:18:32.420 Do you ever see

00:18:33.220 Now were there images

00:18:34.080 In the emails too

00:18:34.740 Sometimes or no

00:18:35.420 One email was just

00:18:36.780 A picture of the house

00:18:38.020 Across the street

00:18:38.920 From my house

00:18:39.640 Oh wow

00:18:40.180 I sent about

00:18:42.080 500 of these emails

00:18:43.640 I had a friend of mine

00:18:44.640 Who was in the secret service

00:18:45.780 And I sent it to him

00:18:47.220 And I go

00:18:47.500 Am I gonna die

00:18:48.540 And he sent me back

00:18:50.000 He goes no

00:18:50.480 He said she's 0.99

00:18:51.360 Crazy 1.00

00:18:52.300 But she's like crazy 1.00

00:18:53.080 Like Russell Crowe 0.98

00:18:53.980 Beautiful mind crazy

00:18:55.080 Yeah

00:18:55.440 He said but none of this

00:18:56.840 Tells me she's

00:18:59.180 Thinking about doing

00:19:00.380 Something dangerous

00:19:00.900 Dang 0.87

00:19:01.300 But it was crazy man

00:19:02.620 This is all

00:19:03.440 Right

00:19:04.280 This is all crazy

00:19:05.660 Writings

00:19:07.300 So was she

00:19:07.860 In the end

00:19:08.660 Do you think she was

00:19:09.180 Manic

00:19:09.620 Having like a manic

00:19:10.300 Episode

00:19:10.680 Yes

00:19:11.040 I had an acting class

00:19:11.820 With a girl 0.98

00:19:12.140 Who was having a manic

00:19:13.120 Episode

00:19:13.560 For like six months

00:19:14.940 On Facebook

00:19:15.440 And she would post

00:19:16.920 Things about Brad Pitt

00:19:18.480 She would post

00:19:20.480 Like all kinds of

00:19:22.620 Crazy stories

00:19:23.500 Like that she was

00:19:24.260 Involved in like

00:19:25.180 Celebrities lives

00:19:26.360 And stuff

00:19:26.900 And it was pretty

00:19:28.800 Fascinating to read

00:19:29.920 But it was also

00:19:30.780 Really really scary

00:19:31.900 You know

00:19:32.520 Yeah

00:19:33.080 And then I think

00:19:33.740 People that tried

00:19:34.340 To reach her

00:19:35.020 Like she would

00:19:35.600 Like lash out

00:19:36.980 At them

00:19:37.300 In some of her posts

00:19:38.180 You know

00:19:38.460 Like my dad

00:19:39.100 Called me today

00:19:39.960 And it was just

00:19:41.380 Intense man

00:19:42.220 I don't know

00:19:42.980 What you do

00:19:43.360 If somebody's

00:19:43.860 Really sick like that

00:19:44.840 I don't know

00:19:46.260 I can tell

00:19:47.180 When she's

00:19:47.800 On her meds

00:19:48.600 And not on her meds

00:19:49.680 If when she's

00:19:50.160 Not on her meds

00:19:50.820 I get

00:19:51.440 Ten to fifteen

00:19:53.200 Emails a day

00:19:54.000 But I'll go

00:19:55.760 Three months

00:19:56.220 Without getting any

00:19:56.760 Dude one day

00:19:57.720 At my house

00:19:58.440 On my home phone

00:19:59.860 Now we've always

00:20:00.460 Had a home phone

00:20:00.940 Just because Beth

00:20:01.560 Is like

00:20:01.880 Just in case

00:20:02.400 We need a home phone

00:20:02.940 But nobody

00:20:03.720 Has that number

00:20:04.560 You know

00:20:04.920 So I get a phone call

00:20:06.340 My family has it

00:20:08.240 I get a phone call

00:20:09.340 And I'm like

00:20:09.680 Hello

00:20:09.940 And it's Wang

00:20:10.640 It's worse than Wang

00:20:12.100 I go hello

00:20:13.500 And they said

00:20:13.880 Josh Wolf

00:20:14.380 I go yeah

00:20:14.840 Speaking

00:20:15.220 And they said

00:20:15.900 This is

00:20:16.280 I forget what his name

00:20:17.060 This is so and so

00:20:17.860 So and so

00:20:18.280 The head of Tom Cruise's

00:20:19.540 Security

00:20:19.860 And I thought

00:20:20.880 It was my brother

00:20:21.400 And I just said

00:20:22.040 Hey Dan 1.00

00:20:22.460 Fuck you 1.00

00:20:23.220 And I hung up 1.00

00:20:24.120 Two seconds later

00:20:25.400 Same number

00:20:25.940 And I go Dan

00:20:27.280 Are we gonna do this

00:20:28.100 Like Tom Cruise's

00:20:28.900 Security

00:20:29.240 This is what

00:20:30.140 You're going for

00:20:30.820 Hung up

00:20:31.340 Call back

00:20:32.560 Don't hang up

00:20:33.300 I need to ask you

00:20:34.220 About Sandy Wang

00:20:34.820 Now I know my brother

00:20:36.320 Doesn't know about Sandy Wang

00:20:37.320 Dang 0.87

00:20:37.680 And I know there are only

00:20:38.520 Two people in my life

00:20:39.400 Who do know

00:20:39.860 Me and Beth

00:20:41.340 Oh and Jacob

00:20:42.020 Because I needed to be like

00:20:42.820 Hey if you see a short

00:20:43.440 Little Asian woman 0.67

00:20:44.000 Around the house

00:20:44.580 Yeah 0.99

00:20:45.780 Get the fuck out 0.97

00:20:46.280 Even though he'd probably 0.99

00:20:46.880 Try to smash

00:20:47.600 Yeah

00:20:47.900 Jacob dude

00:20:50.180 That dude is definitely 0.99

00:20:52.560 He's about some fucking 0.99

00:20:55.660 I mean listen 0.99

00:20:56.520 And he's at that age

00:20:57.320 And look I feel

00:20:58.060 Yeah

00:20:58.400 He's at that age

00:20:59.500 Where he is still willing

00:21:00.580 Here's exactly how old he is 1.00

00:21:02.200 He is still willing to fuck 1.00

00:21:03.760 Someone that is extremely dangerous 1.00

00:21:05.480 Yo we've all been that

00:21:07.220 How old are you 1.00

00:21:07.780 I would fuck a stalker 1.00

00:21:09.220 That's how old I am 1.00

00:21:10.260 That is a hundred percent

00:21:11.920 Right

00:21:12.360 That is an age

00:21:13.080 You know what

00:21:13.820 That's like I've always said

00:21:15.220 You know

00:21:15.860 In high school

00:21:17.400 Somebody would ask me

00:21:18.680 We talk about deal breakers

00:21:19.900 And we got down to high school

00:21:21.240 I'm like I don't know

00:21:21.900 If I had a deal breaker

00:21:23.320 In high school

00:21:24.100 Yeah

00:21:24.620 Like I had a woman

00:21:25.740 A girl

00:21:26.400 Literally

00:21:27.060 Throw up on me

00:21:29.060 In

00:21:30.060 When I was a

00:21:30.940 Junior in high school

00:21:32.020 But I was thinking 0.98

00:21:33.320 I was gonna have sex 0.85

00:21:34.020 For the first time 0.99

00:21:34.660 Oh yeah

00:21:35.500 So I just told her straight up

00:21:36.680 Not a

00:21:37.060 I'll shower it off

00:21:38.040 Like not a deal breaker

00:21:39.280 For me 0.98

00:21:39.700 Damn 0.98

00:21:40.100 But she 1.00

00:21:40.800 She was like

00:21:42.240 Are you kidding

00:21:42.680 And I said

00:21:43.060 No

00:21:44.120 Like

00:21:44.680 Dang 0.87

00:21:45.260 Yeah yeah yeah

00:21:45.780 Yeah but that's young

00:21:46.900 You don't know

00:21:47.460 You think she's going that way too

00:21:48.980 Yeah

00:21:49.240 And you're like

00:21:49.520 Oh no

00:21:50.160 This isn't as Japanese 1.00

00:21:51.140 Let's get back in there

00:21:52.560 Let's get back in that shower 0.81

00:21:53.920 Yeah

00:21:54.720 I think I've had

00:21:55.620 Let me think

00:21:56.180 I've had

00:21:57.000 Let me think

00:21:58.460 If there was deal breakers

00:22:00.060 Oh wet mouth 1.00

00:22:01.460 I dated this girl

00:22:02.420 For a little bit

00:22:03.220 And her mouth 0.99

00:22:03.760 Was always real wet

00:22:04.760 Like the lips

00:22:06.280 Yeah lips

00:22:07.400 And a little bit

00:22:08.220 Like a probably

00:22:08.800 Two

00:22:09.500 Maybe half a centimeter

00:22:10.580 Outside of the lips

00:22:11.480 And so it was like

00:22:13.600 Beautiful girl too

00:22:15.820 And so it was like

00:22:16.620 Oh this is really cool

00:22:17.780 But then it started to be like

00:22:19.160 Oh and then she had like

00:22:20.760 Sign up kind of a

00:22:21.760 She smelled like a little

00:22:23.540 Her breath had like a unique

00:22:25.040 Smell that got worse

00:22:26.520 As the night went on

00:22:27.620 Progressively bad breath

00:22:30.000 Yeah it was like

00:22:30.560 Progressively bad

00:22:31.420 And then I think

00:22:31.840 You had to put her to sleep 0.99

00:22:32.600 To fucking get it back to zero 1.00

00:22:33.780 You know 0.99

00:22:34.220 And then

00:22:34.580 You know

00:22:35.460 So you wanted to take her to brunch

00:22:36.800 It was that kind of girl

00:22:37.800 You know

00:22:38.340 It was like 0.99

00:22:39.600 Let's fucking 1.00

00:22:40.320 Brunch and hunch 1.00

00:22:41.480 You feel me

00:22:42.080 You know what I'm saying

00:22:42.740 That Netflix and chill baby

00:22:44.760 Yeah yeah

00:22:44.840 You know

00:22:46.160 There was a girl 0.68

00:22:46.880 That I picked up

00:22:47.660 When I was in

00:22:48.440 In high school

00:22:49.960 I was at my friend's house

00:22:51.400 He had his

00:22:53.640 He was

00:22:54.260 His family had a little bit of money

00:22:55.600 And they had a house

00:22:56.300 On Cape Cod

00:22:56.960 In the summer

00:22:57.340 Oh yeah

00:22:57.780 That's rich bro

00:22:58.560 Yeah

00:22:58.840 We definitely did not have

00:23:00.360 That kind of dough

00:23:01.060 And

00:23:01.900 But we

00:23:02.820 Picked up

00:23:03.340 Cape Cod

00:23:03.720 Dude I never even had cod 0.99

00:23:04.960 Until I was fucking 0.99

00:23:05.540 Probably 25 0.99

00:23:06.100 You wore a cape though

00:23:07.360 I did wear a cape

00:23:08.420 Yeah yeah

00:23:08.640 You're right

00:23:09.020 That's a good point

00:23:10.100 You did wear a cape

00:23:11.060 So even even

00:23:12.240 This

00:23:12.800 Girl 0.91

00:23:13.940 We

00:23:14.900 17

00:23:15.680 We met her at the beach

00:23:16.640 Her breath was so bad

00:23:18.440 When my buddy brought

00:23:19.620 He was like

00:23:20.620 We're gonna go back to my house

00:23:21.500 I was like

00:23:21.800 What am I gonna do

00:23:22.420 With this girl's breath 0.99

00:23:23.980 He was like

00:23:24.320 When we get back home

00:23:25.260 Just give her some food 1.00

00:23:26.580 So I tried to

00:23:27.300 I tried to convince this girl

00:23:29.040 Oh feed down the breath

00:23:29.820 Yeah I tried to convince her

00:23:31.020 That we should both eat

00:23:31.680 A teaspoon of peanut butter

00:23:32.780 Oh yeah

00:23:33.560 I was like

00:23:33.860 How about some peanut butter

00:23:34.560 And she was like

00:23:35.000 What

00:23:35.840 She wanted Doritos 0.98

00:23:37.120 I'm like

00:23:37.440 No

00:23:37.880 No

00:23:38.440 Not with that

00:23:39.140 Not what's coming out

00:23:40.040 Of that mouth

00:23:40.500 We ain't adding fuel

00:23:41.480 To the fire

00:23:42.020 Yeah

00:23:42.380 No but a spoonful

00:23:43.740 Of peanut butter

00:23:44.260 I thought

00:23:44.680 That's a good idea

00:23:45.720 Yeah it's like

00:23:47.300 Cause breath

00:23:48.260 You have to get something

00:23:49.440 To like

00:23:50.140 Well I'm okay with

00:23:51.300 If somebody's breath

00:23:52.200 Is a little bad

00:23:52.900 Like if it's dehydration breath

00:23:54.680 Like some things

00:23:55.260 You kind of know

00:23:55.940 Okay it's just

00:23:56.580 This is a moment

00:23:57.320 They're going through

00:23:58.060 But the thing is

00:24:00.180 If you get somebody

00:24:01.140 And you smell

00:24:01.880 That it's internal

00:24:02.800 That they're rotting out

00:24:04.180 Or something

00:24:04.600 Or they're

00:24:05.020 You know

00:24:05.740 They had a baby

00:24:06.460 That didn't hatch

00:24:07.260 You know what I'm saying

00:24:08.080 You don't know

00:24:08.660 What's going on

00:24:09.500 Sometimes

00:24:09.920 And somebody

00:24:10.640 Some of these issues

00:24:11.740 Are deep rooted

00:24:12.480 You know what I'm saying

00:24:13.480 And you know

00:24:14.040 Some dogs can smell cancer

00:24:15.280 Bring that up Sean

00:24:16.060 That's true

00:24:17.120 What can dogs smell

00:24:18.600 What diseases

00:24:19.220 Can dogs smell please

00:24:20.480 By the way

00:24:21.440 Did you hear

00:24:22.180 That they're

00:24:23.680 Yeah

00:24:25.320 Stuff out of a variety

00:24:26.200 Of types

00:24:26.640 Including skin cancer

00:24:28.180 Breast cancer

00:24:29.740 Prostate cancer

00:24:31.380 Definitely believe that

00:24:32.520 Yep

00:24:32.840 Bladder cancer

00:24:33.980 And lung cancer

00:24:35.280 Dude if you smell 1.00

00:24:36.460 Enough ass 1.00

00:24:37.360 Like dog does 1.00

00:24:38.140 You will definitely

00:24:38.760 Two of those

00:24:39.560 Is a definite

00:24:40.180 They for sure know 1.00

00:24:41.760 What a good ass 1.00

00:24:42.620 Smells like 1.00

00:24:43.180 There's no doubt

00:24:44.200 Dogs are famous

00:24:44.880 For their sense of smell

00:24:45.720 This sense is so advanced

00:24:47.020 They can smell diseases

00:24:48.300 Or medical conditions

00:24:49.920 They have about

00:24:52.920 220 million receptors

00:24:54.100 Compared to

00:24:54.640 5 to 10 million

00:24:55.760 In us

00:24:56.120 That's

00:24:56.400 Imagine being able

00:24:57.580 To smell that good

00:24:58.360 Imagine being able

00:24:59.600 To smell maybe

00:25:00.480 If the neighbors

00:25:01.160 Are cooking

00:25:01.600 Would you rather

00:25:02.460 Have that intense

00:25:03.840 Sense of smell

00:25:05.680 Or sight

00:25:06.400 I think sight

00:25:09.560 Because smell

00:25:10.700 Here's the thing

00:25:11.340 That would deter

00:25:11.920 Smell

00:25:12.860 I think it would

00:25:13.660 Start to like

00:25:14.500 If you got into

00:25:15.180 Like mating situations

00:25:16.540 Or sexual situations

00:25:17.680 It would really

00:25:18.600 I think for me

00:25:20.560 It would inhibit me

00:25:21.500 Because I would

00:25:22.100 Get real nervous

00:25:22.960 It would

00:25:23.280 You know

00:25:23.680 It would be like

00:25:24.180 You know

00:25:25.420 The less I can smell 0.98

00:25:26.520 I feel like for sex 0.98

00:25:27.540 The better 0.99

00:25:28.020 You know

00:25:28.740 Now

00:25:29.880 It also amazes me

00:25:32.460 That a dog

00:25:33.780 Can

00:25:35.080 They can smell that good

00:25:37.580 And still want to 0.92

00:25:38.700 Have sex that much 0.95

00:25:40.140 Yeah 0.97

00:25:40.960 It's almost

00:25:41.500 It's almost like

00:25:42.800 Extraterrestrial really

00:25:44.920 Yeah I think

00:25:45.720 They are like

00:25:46.420 High school kids

00:25:47.740 Times 20 though

00:25:48.840 It's just pure

00:25:49.940 Animal instinct

00:25:50.880 Like

00:25:51.320 Yeah

00:25:51.800 You know 1.00

00:25:52.480 I think all ass 1.00

00:25:53.700 Is good ass 0.99

00:25:54.340 As far as they're concerned 0.89

00:25:55.280 I don't

00:25:56.000 You know what I mean

00:25:56.760 I don't think

00:25:57.600 Have you ever seen a dog 0.99

00:25:58.660 Get to an ass 1.00

00:25:59.280 And be like 1.00

00:25:59.640 Oh god

00:26:00.320 I know you have

00:26:01.060 You know

00:26:01.260 They're always like

00:26:02.020 Yeah I'll take another sniff

00:26:03.060 That's crazy

00:26:03.840 There's no dog

00:26:05.160 Has ever been like

00:26:05.720 That's not

00:26:06.660 I can't do that

00:26:07.760 It's savage

00:26:08.420 It's almost like

00:26:08.940 They're on cocaine

00:26:09.720 You know

00:26:10.160 Because I feel like

00:26:10.580 If you're on cocaine

00:26:11.380 You'll definitely 1.00

00:26:11.980 You'll smell somebody's ass 1.00

00:26:13.100 More than once 1.00

00:26:13.840 Here's a disease right here

00:26:15.780 Narcolepsy is a disorder

00:26:17.060 That affects the ability

00:26:18.360 To control sleep

00:26:19.260 Wake cycles

00:26:19.760 Dogs can smell that

00:26:20.980 How do you smell narcolepsy

00:26:23.260 Two trained dogs

00:26:24.480 Detected 11 of 12

00:26:26.260 Narcolepsy patients

00:26:27.500 Using sweat samples

00:26:29.120 Dogs can detect

00:26:30.900 A distinct scent

00:26:31.920 From the disorder

00:26:32.580 Wow

00:26:33.060 That is crazy to me

00:26:35.000 That's fascinating

00:26:35.720 I wouldn't want

00:26:36.760 The sense of smell

00:26:37.800 Mostly

00:26:39.220 And here's our difference

00:26:40.460 In ages

00:26:40.960 You're thinking sex

00:26:42.700 I'm thinking restaurants

00:26:44.040 Like

00:26:44.400 There's too

00:26:45.540 I like my food

00:26:47.240 Right

00:26:47.640 The less you know 1.00

00:26:48.880 About how shit goes down 1.00

00:26:49.960 In a restaurant 1.00

00:26:50.540 Because I've worked

00:26:51.640 In a lot of restaurants

00:26:52.740 Yeah

00:26:53.080 Do you know what I mean

00:26:53.860 You don't want to know

00:26:54.920 What's happening back there

00:26:55.880 No

00:26:56.320 You just

00:26:57.100 It's two different teams

00:26:58.180 Yeah

00:26:58.520 Restaurant

00:27:00.320 Is two different teams

00:27:02.080 Yeah

00:27:02.480 Yeah

00:27:02.740 Yeah

00:27:02.900 It's the

00:27:03.700 It's the Bucks

00:27:04.440 And it's the Chiefs

00:27:06.480 Yeah

00:27:06.780 And you don't

00:27:07.760 By the way

00:27:08.220 And the Chiefs

00:27:08.800 Are doing their best man

00:27:09.800 They got a mixed guy 0.96

00:27:10.800 Back there

00:27:11.420 They're doing what they can

00:27:12.440 They got a couple brothers

00:27:13.520 You know what I'm saying

00:27:14.320 You know what

00:27:15.060 They're doing what they can

00:27:17.080 But

00:27:17.740 The Bucks man

00:27:19.680 The Bucks are showing up to eat

00:27:21.160 I'm saying

00:27:22.560 And you know what else

00:27:23.700 For me like

00:27:25.240 I don't want to know

00:27:27.180 How it got made

00:27:28.960 I don't want to know

00:27:30.240 Like don't

00:27:31.320 Don't break

00:27:31.880 Don't lift the

00:27:33.060 Don't open the curtain for me

00:27:34.620 Don't show me that fourth wall

00:27:35.800 Nah

00:27:36.020 Just make sure when it comes out

00:27:37.740 The plate looks clean

00:27:38.960 Yeah

00:27:39.520 And the food looks right

00:27:40.680 Yeah

00:27:41.340 Because don't be like

00:27:42.660 Oh sorry

00:27:43.140 He dropped a burger on the ground

00:27:44.400 We're gonna have to make another one

00:27:45.100 Don't tell me that

00:27:45.800 Yeah

00:27:46.220 Just actually pick up that burger

00:27:47.860 Yeah 1.00

00:27:48.240 And wipe that motherfucker off 1.00

00:27:49.440 Yeah 1.00

00:27:49.720 Because I'm not gonna

00:27:51.100 Know but now I'm gonna think

00:27:52.400 Every burger has been dropped on the floor

00:27:54.520 Yeah they drop everything

00:27:55.500 Do you know what I mean

00:27:56.100 Like

00:27:56.380 Just wipe it off

00:27:58.220 We

00:27:58.780 You worked at restaurants

00:28:00.180 I'm sure you worked at restaurants

00:28:01.100 Oh yeah I worked at them man

00:28:02.180 Oh

00:28:02.800 Oh yeah 0.99

00:28:03.920 And gross shit happens in the kitchens 0.99

00:28:06.060 It's just 0.99

00:28:07.280 It's like

00:28:08.140 Yeah

00:28:09.380 I mean it's all

00:28:10.560 It's literally

00:28:11.560 They're doing their best

00:28:13.140 To get food

00:28:14.140 Out there

00:28:15.180 Yeah

00:28:15.420 That's all they're doing

00:28:16.300 They're not

00:28:16.720 Nobody's a chef back there

00:28:18.620 In 95% of these places

00:28:20.640 I love it

00:28:21.880 I love it

00:28:22.680 I love it when they're like

00:28:23.080 When you ask a waiter

00:28:23.900 And you're like

00:28:24.200 Let me ask the chef

00:28:24.860 I'm like

00:28:25.180 Is there a chef back there

00:28:27.140 Yeah

00:28:28.280 This is

00:28:29.300 I can

00:28:29.820 We're at Cracker Barrel

00:28:31.240 There's no chef here

00:28:32.560 Yeah let me ask the chef

00:28:33.120 Yeah

00:28:33.420 You call him a chef

00:28:34.060 Because he's wearing a hat

00:28:34.800 Because that

00:28:35.860 You know what I mean

00:28:36.740 Like I make eggs at my house too

00:28:38.180 You know

00:28:38.520 Dude I remember

00:28:39.420 I used to work

00:28:40.300 I worked for this famous

00:28:41.420 Restaurant tour

00:28:42.140 This guy Sam Fox

00:28:43.160 And this is when he first started

00:28:44.520 Restaurating

00:28:45.560 And I want to say

00:28:47.620 He was just managing

00:28:48.600 At this restaurant

00:28:49.600 And I worked there

00:28:51.080 And some guy

00:28:51.820 This guy Little Scotty

00:28:53.040 He looked like the

00:28:56.000 Chef from the Muppets

00:28:59.420 Can you bring that fella up Sean

00:29:00.740 I love that dude

00:29:01.800 And Sean's sometimes a little slow

00:29:05.120 He's also a Tennessee Volunteers fan

00:29:07.180 So that all checks out

00:29:08.800 Sorry but that is

00:29:11.220 The Volunteers

00:29:12.480 Haven't been good at all

00:29:13.500 Yeah that's all

00:29:16.240 That's all

00:29:17.240 On this dude

00:29:17.940 Yeah

00:29:18.240 On this joke and Sean

00:29:19.020 And I don't

00:29:21.020 I didn't even give Sean a mic

00:29:22.340 To defend himself today either

00:29:23.440 So I shouldn't have said that 0.70

00:29:24.560 If you like sex

00:29:25.840 Or if you don't even like it 0.97

00:29:27.200 But you

00:29:27.920 You don't

00:29:28.300 You have to do it

00:29:29.120 Because you have a spouse

00:29:30.480 Or you have somebody

00:29:31.300 Who wants 0.99

00:29:31.780 Who wants sex from you 0.99

00:29:33.780 You know 0.99

00:29:34.340 An inmate

00:29:35.400 Somebody

00:29:36.860 Well look

00:29:38.500 BlueChew.com

00:29:40.100 Offers men 0.79

00:29:42.000 A performance enhancement

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00:29:45.200 Or kitchen

00:29:45.720 Or basement

00:29:46.480 Or a commissary

00:29:48.520 Wherever

00:29:48.980 You little inmates 0.94

00:29:50.280 Are getting nasty 0.79

00:29:51.680 The chewables

00:29:53.580 From BlueChew.com

00:29:54.940 Can be taken on a full

00:29:55.920 Or empty stomach

00:29:56.660 Now look 1.00

00:29:58.180 I prefer to do sex 0.99

00:29:59.180 On an empty stomach 0.99

00:29:59.860 But that's just me

00:30:00.800 You know

00:30:01.680 And that's also

00:30:02.480 A Vietnamese trick 1.00

00:30:03.660 The chewables

00:30:05.160 From BlueChew.com

00:30:06.020 Are made in the USA 1.00

00:30:07.020 None of those

00:30:07.680 India 0.99

00:30:08.780 Penis pills 0.99

00:30:09.740 Like I've been on 1.00

00:30:10.500 Make your legs sweat

00:30:11.640 Make your body

00:30:12.260 Feel real troubled after

00:30:14.200 Here's a great deal

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00:30:35.680 I've used these

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00:30:38.080 Onward

00:30:39.060 After the year

00:30:41.340 That I've been through

00:30:42.440 I'm going to tell you

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00:30:44.500 Should be at the top

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00:30:46.860 So if you're still

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00:30:49.440 Of money every month

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00:30:50.940 Well that's not

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00:30:53.320 What are you doing

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00:31:48.960 So we had a guy

00:32:04.080 Look like this

00:32:04.640 This dude was probably

00:32:05.460 4'9

00:32:07.100 Right

00:32:07.420 4'9

00:32:08.160 A little Scotty

00:32:08.860 They called him

00:32:09.420 And he had a chef's hat

00:32:11.720 That was a foot and a half tall

00:32:13.220 To make him 1.00

00:32:13.980 Fucking whatever 0.99

00:32:14.960 5'11 1.00

00:32:16.020 And dude

00:32:17.380 These federales

00:32:18.500 These like food federales

00:32:19.800 Rolled in one day

00:32:20.540 Kicked open the back door

00:32:21.520 And they busted him

00:32:22.240 For slinging illegal shrimp

00:32:25.780 He had illegal

00:32:26.560 Illegal shrimp

00:32:27.700 What does that mean

00:32:28.300 U-12 shrimp

00:32:29.120 You look up U-12 shrimp

00:32:30.600 What

00:32:32.000 U-1-2 shrimp

00:32:33.240 Yeah see what it says

00:32:34.300 Jumbo shrimp U-12

00:32:36.640 Let's get an image

00:32:37.220 Of those bad boys

00:32:38.000 If we can

00:32:38.440 I don't even know

00:32:40.120 That the shrimp had names

00:32:41.260 Oh yeah

00:32:41.820 Shrimp come in different

00:32:42.800 Colossal U-12

00:32:45.320 White

00:32:45.860 Headless

00:32:48.180 He was saying he had these

00:32:49.260 But he didn't

00:32:49.800 Caught shrimp

00:32:50.440 $17 a pound

00:32:51.440 He did

00:32:52.200 He bought them illegally

00:32:53.260 Early galley

00:32:54.420 He went black market

00:32:56.180 Shrimp

00:32:57.020 Black market shrimp dude

00:32:57.740 And they came in 0.51

00:32:58.420 Bust and they put him

00:32:59.240 On his knees

00:32:59.780 At that point on his knees

00:33:00.880 He's 2'4

00:33:01.720 Yeah

00:33:02.020 You know what I'm saying dude

00:33:03.180 And they kicked his hat off dude 0.96

00:33:05.320 And everybody was

00:33:06.000 Bro

00:33:06.660 When he lost his hat

00:33:08.060 That's when he lost his

00:33:09.080 Everything

00:33:09.580 Oh yeah

00:33:10.440 Uh huh

00:33:10.940 Did all the illegal receipts

00:33:12.600 From the shrimp

00:33:13.080 Come out from under his hat

00:33:14.020 That's where he was

00:33:15.780 Keeping them

00:33:16.260 Yo

00:33:18.560 Yeah this is the

00:33:19.220 Shrimp chart right here

00:33:20.020 So you got small

00:33:21.000 That's those 51-60s 0.98

00:33:23.780 But wait now

00:33:24.760 You got medium

00:33:25.720 That's 41-50s 0.85

00:33:27.180 36-40s

00:33:28.400 But who's selling

00:33:29.420 U-12s

00:33:30.820 That aren't U-12s

00:33:31.940 You know what I'm saying

00:33:32.440 Like who's saying

00:33:33.340 Hey I got that U-12

00:33:34.400 Somebody man

00:33:35.960 This is Tucson Arizona

00:33:37.140 So 0.99

00:33:37.760 Oh shit 0.99

00:33:38.600 People rolling around 1.00

00:33:39.260 With fucking hot shrimp 1.00

00:33:40.400 And that's the thing dude 1.00

00:33:41.800 You gotta sell them fast dude

00:33:43.180 You know what I'm saying

00:33:43.780 You gotta sell them

00:33:44.420 Before the ice melts

00:33:45.320 It's that ticking time bomb

00:33:47.700 Of uh

00:33:48.400 You know it's that

00:33:49.380 Pop quiz hot shot

00:33:50.520 Of seafood

00:33:51.300 Have you ever had

00:33:52.860 Food poisoning

00:33:54.540 From uh

00:33:55.080 From seafood

00:33:55.560 I mean growing up

00:33:57.440 In Louisiana

00:33:57.820 You had bad fish

00:33:58.660 Oh no

00:33:59.660 We had pretty good fish

00:34:00.820 I think in our area man

00:34:02.200 I think a lot of

00:34:03.160 The Chinese 0.89

00:34:03.720 Came through recently

00:34:05.040 Or the Viettes 1.00

00:34:06.220 Came through

00:34:06.700 And gave us uh

00:34:07.820 We look up uh

00:34:09.520 Vietnamese catfish

00:34:10.920 Takes over America

00:34:11.960 Will you look over that

00:34:12.740 Vietnamese

00:34:13.500 You mean a different

00:34:14.260 Why are they eating

00:34:15.600 All of the

00:34:16.360 No this was

00:34:17.660 Uh

00:34:20.460 In 2012

00:34:22.100 Vietnamese catfish

00:34:22.900 Captured around 20%

00:34:24.140 Of American frozen fish market

00:34:25.880 Whoa

00:34:26.700 In 2002

00:34:27.460 Sorry in 2002

00:34:28.380 Vietnamese catfish

00:34:29.400 Captured 20%

00:34:30.420 Of American frozen food market

00:34:31.800 In 2012

00:34:32.920 This figure went up to 60%

00:34:34.800 Most of the catfish

00:34:36.820 You get

00:34:37.260 If you go somewhere

00:34:38.160 It's not even

00:34:38.980 American catfish

00:34:39.960 Wait so they

00:34:41.460 They fly it over

00:34:42.600 From Vietnam

00:34:43.140 Or they grow

00:34:44.320 The Vietnamese catfish

00:34:45.560 Here

00:34:45.920 Uh

00:34:46.800 That's a good question

00:34:47.860 Let's go to catfish

00:34:48.600 Dispute up there

00:34:49.360 At the top

00:34:49.740 That seems like

00:34:50.620 Because that sounds

00:34:51.400 Realistic

00:34:52.380 Entry to U.S. market

00:34:53.900 After years of conflicts

00:34:54.940 The relationship between

00:34:55.540 The U.S. and Vietnam 0.90

00:34:56.220 Was eventually brightened up

00:34:57.660 When the embargo

00:34:59.020 By the U.S. to Vietnam 0.57

00:35:00.280 Was lifted in 95

00:35:01.360 December 2001

00:35:03.140 Viettes signed a

00:35:03.920 Bilateral trade agreement

00:35:05.100 Oh there it is

00:35:07.320 Imported from Vietnam

00:35:09.300 U.S. catfish

00:35:10.080 Is generally raised

00:35:10.800 In Mississippi

00:35:11.240 Arkansas

00:35:11.700 Louisiana

00:35:12.220 In ponds

00:35:13.320 Increasing number

00:35:14.680 Of catfish

00:35:15.120 Imported from Vietnam

00:35:15.980 I wonder why

00:35:17.560 I mean it's not

00:35:19.240 You can grow

00:35:20.520 You can spawn

00:35:21.700 As many fish

00:35:22.400 As you need to

00:35:23.100 In these ponds

00:35:23.760 Is it that much cheaper

00:35:25.440 To fly them over

00:35:27.400 From a different country

00:35:28.600 That's crazy

00:35:29.520 So then when you

00:35:30.440 Think about

00:35:30.940 It must be

00:35:31.620 So then when you

00:35:32.200 Think about that

00:35:33.260 With the shipping costs

00:35:35.260 That's what I'm saying

00:35:36.000 And to keep it cold

00:35:36.840 You have to keep it cold

00:35:37.620 Or keep it in water

00:35:38.540 Yeah

00:35:38.860 That's what I'm saying

00:35:39.920 Like they

00:35:40.760 So and that goes back to

00:35:42.960 It's like when I

00:35:44.260 When I used to

00:35:45.200 Eat breakfast at places

00:35:46.500 Like Shoney's 0.68

00:35:47.360 You know Shoney's

00:35:48.100 Yeah

00:35:48.920 When they would say

00:35:49.580 Steak and eggs for $3.99

00:35:50.760 I'm like

00:35:51.240 Leave the steak

00:35:52.260 Like

00:35:52.540 Steak by itself for $3.99

00:35:54.840 I'm not eating 0.99

00:35:55.380 But steak and other shit 0.99

00:35:56.720 For $3.99 0.99

00:35:57.280 Do you know what I mean

00:35:57.920 Like

00:35:58.140 But that's the thing

00:35:59.200 Like what

00:35:59.600 So what are they doing

00:36:00.260 To that steak

00:36:00.720 What are they doing

00:36:01.540 To that catfish

00:36:02.440 To make it so cheap

00:36:04.320 Yeah

00:36:04.700 I can't even

00:36:05.720 They must be

00:36:06.560 Maybe it's uneducated

00:36:07.560 I mean I have no idea

00:36:08.560 You know

00:36:09.400 Maybe it's like

00:36:10.020 Been raised in like 1.00

00:36:10.800 Just like a damn 1.00

00:36:11.600 Little fish kennel 1.00

00:36:12.920 You know

00:36:13.280 That is so crazy

00:36:14.320 My sister has a bass 0.93

00:36:15.660 In a freaking

00:36:16.480 My sister is pretty country

00:36:17.940 They live like

00:36:18.680 Within

00:36:19.340 You could

00:36:20.920 Uncle

00:36:21.740 Uncle

00:36:22.300 Who's that guy in

00:36:23.420 Uncle Reno

00:36:24.120 Who's that guy in

00:36:25.000 In what

00:36:26.480 Uncle Rico

00:36:29.180 Uncle Rico

00:36:30.500 Could throw a football

00:36:31.260 From a Cabela's

00:36:32.080 To their house

00:36:32.560 Right

00:36:32.820 Oh yeah

00:36:33.480 And

00:36:34.540 Oh yeah

00:36:36.260 And

00:36:37.160 They have a bass

00:36:39.680 In a

00:36:40.220 Aquarium

00:36:43.260 That can't turn around

00:36:44.220 It's like

00:36:44.740 Come on

00:36:45.700 Yeah

00:36:45.980 So it just does

00:36:47.100 This the whole day

00:36:48.000 Yeah

00:36:48.140 That's crazy

00:36:48.800 But it's been alive

00:36:50.500 For like seven years

00:36:51.660 Man

00:36:51.980 But angry

00:36:52.680 I mean I'm sure

00:36:53.860 It's not fired up

00:36:54.820 Yo

00:36:56.360 That bass

00:36:57.740 Is the only bass

00:36:58.720 That would

00:36:59.060 Straight up

00:37:00.060 Attack

00:37:00.700 Like

00:37:00.960 That has gotta be

00:37:02.740 The worst

00:37:03.760 Life

00:37:04.780 Take me to the river

00:37:06.120 I think

00:37:06.960 Maybe that's where

00:37:08.160 They copyrighted

00:37:09.000 Put me in the water

00:37:11.200 He's just pleading 1.00

00:37:12.760 Kill me 0.99

00:37:14.860 That is a tough 1.00

00:37:16.420 Way to go man

00:37:17.680 It's a crazy life

00:37:18.520 Just like this

00:37:18.780 But the kids are healthy

00:37:20.040 Her two daughters

00:37:20.700 Are doing fine

00:37:21.460 So they just

00:37:22.100 You know

00:37:22.480 They don't change up

00:37:23.460 The game man

00:37:24.220 But yeah

00:37:25.260 So it's crazy

00:37:25.840 A lot of

00:37:26.260 It's called

00:37:26.680 Wayfish

00:37:28.060 I think

00:37:28.400 Or Weefish

00:37:29.260 Let me see what it says

00:37:30.460 Food labeling claims

00:37:31.580 Right there

00:37:32.240 Tra or Bossa

00:37:33.840 They started

00:37:36.000 So a lot of times

00:37:37.080 It will say

00:37:37.480 Catfish on the menu

00:37:38.700 Yeah

00:37:39.140 And you're not getting catfish

00:37:40.440 And I could taste it man

00:37:41.680 When I first

00:37:42.260 Probably about five years ago

00:37:44.060 I started noticing

00:37:44.760 Even in New Orleans man

00:37:45.920 I would just notice

00:37:46.720 This catfish is real thin

00:37:48.840 It's just

00:37:49.700 Really?

00:37:51.100 Yeah

00:37:51.380 It seems like

00:37:51.880 It's probably a gamer

00:37:52.840 You know

00:37:53.460 It's like

00:37:53.880 Yeah

00:37:54.100 It just didn't

00:37:55.080 It wasn't that thick

00:37:56.200 Breasty filet

00:37:57.240 Yeah

00:37:57.500 Yeah

00:37:57.700 Yeah

00:37:57.800 And that's when I realized

00:37:59.360 That oh it was Viet 1.00

00:38:00.360 Man it wasn't even

00:38:01.300 American catfish

00:38:02.800 Yeah I wonder what the cost

00:38:04.040 What is the cost savings

00:38:05.740 Can you look that up Sean

00:38:06.540 What the cost savings

00:38:07.640 But if they're smaller fish too

00:38:09.160 Because maybe that's it also

00:38:10.520 Maybe you're getting

00:38:11.080 A smaller fish

00:38:12.380 But still

00:38:13.780 To

00:38:14.260 To have them 1.00

00:38:16.140 Sent on a fucking 1.00

00:38:17.960 Boat 1.00

00:38:19.600 Has got to be

00:38:20.340 So damn expensive

00:38:21.460 The great catfish 0.87

00:38:24.020 War rages on

00:38:25.060 Have you ever done

00:38:26.500 The noodling

00:38:27.200 I haven't done it

00:38:28.760 We've had that

00:38:29.460 That young lady 0.96

00:38:30.280 Came on King

00:38:30.780 And the sting

00:38:31.200 Hannah Barron

00:38:32.060 Yeah

00:38:32.460 That champion girl 0.98

00:38:33.640 And what'd she say

00:38:34.260 What's the trick to that

00:38:35.260 She said just being tough

00:38:37.080 Really

00:38:37.340 I think

00:38:37.740 I think the biggest thing

00:38:38.760 Is just getting used

00:38:39.660 To them biting you

00:38:40.540 You know

00:38:40.940 Like

00:38:41.200 It's basically

00:38:43.040 Like getting your hands

00:38:43.780 Stuck in something

00:38:44.620 Really hard

00:38:45.220 It's just pressure

00:38:46.760 Right

00:38:47.060 It's not teeth

00:38:47.660 Is that right

00:38:48.020 It's teeth

00:38:48.400 But they're not

00:38:49.040 They're not gonna

00:38:49.740 Cut you open

00:38:50.420 So you're not gonna 0.98

00:38:50.880 Slit your wrist

00:38:51.580 Or anything

00:38:51.820 Right

00:38:52.000 But they're gonna

00:38:52.500 It's gonna be spooky

00:38:54.940 You know

00:38:55.460 That's the thing

00:38:56.700 Like

00:38:56.980 How are you

00:38:58.900 With like

00:38:59.600 Where are you

00:39:00.700 With risk

00:39:01.240 And adrenaline junkie

00:39:02.340 And all that stuff

00:39:03.020 Like is

00:39:03.300 Is noodling something

00:39:04.600 That you're like

00:39:05.140 I'd like to try that

00:39:06.360 I would do noodling

00:39:07.140 Me too

00:39:07.500 I agree with you on that

00:39:08.280 I would do noodling

00:39:08.860 But I won't skateboard

00:39:09.940 Me neither

00:39:11.000 Not at this age

00:39:11.820 Yeah

00:39:12.180 No

00:39:12.540 Theo I hit the ground

00:39:14.800 I slipped on the ice

00:39:16.620 Two days ago

00:39:17.180 When's the last time

00:39:17.760 You hit the ground hard

00:39:18.520 Young man

00:39:20.660 Oh I got body slammed

00:39:21.480 Earlier today

00:39:22.080 By a 65 year old

00:39:23.300 At the

00:39:23.500 How does that feel 0.99

00:39:25.160 It fucking fell 0.98

00:39:26.900 I felt like 0.99

00:39:28.000 Dude I was willing

00:39:28.600 To be his grandson

00:39:29.420 For a second

00:39:30.100 Dude that's how weird

00:39:30.920 It was man

00:39:31.500 It was intense

00:39:32.220 I mean

00:39:33.340 That jiu jitsu man 0.97

00:39:35.020 It's pretty hardy

00:39:36.500 Yeah

00:39:37.240 Yeah

00:39:38.240 It's pretty hardy

00:39:38.940 You fell

00:39:39.580 You fell on the ice

00:39:40.320 Dude

00:39:40.720 I slipped

00:39:42.000 And when I was

00:39:42.820 Right in front of my house

00:39:44.360 Going down the hill

00:39:46.420 So my dog took off

00:39:47.920 This is

00:39:48.280 You guys are

00:39:48.740 It's steep out there

00:39:49.720 Yeah

00:39:50.020 My dog took off

00:39:51.180 And I slipped

00:39:51.860 So when I was in midair

00:39:52.940 He kept running

00:39:53.720 So he just pulled me

00:39:55.200 And when I landed dude

00:39:57.100 I landed so hard

00:39:59.300 That

00:40:00.260 I was like

00:40:01.080 Alright

00:40:01.320 I know adrenaline's with me

00:40:03.480 But I'm hurt

00:40:04.280 Dang 0.87

00:40:04.920 So as soon as I hit the ground

00:40:05.800 I started calling for Beth

00:40:06.920 Yeah

00:40:07.280 I was right out in front

00:40:08.560 Of our giant windows

00:40:09.420 I could see her inside

00:40:11.080 It was like a scream movie 0.96

00:40:12.140 You know when someone gets killed

00:40:13.140 But the people inside

00:40:14.160 Can't hear them

00:40:14.720 So I'm screaming to Beth

00:40:16.320 Yeah

00:40:17.700 I can just see her

00:40:18.440 But I'm literally

00:40:19.740 And I'm trying to get on my feet

00:40:20.820 But my dog thinks I'm playing

00:40:22.120 So every time I get on my hands

00:40:23.360 He knocks my hands out

00:40:24.780 From under me 1.00

00:40:25.240 Fucking 1.00

00:40:26.320 So he's knocking me down 1.00

00:40:28.620 And I had to crawl back up the hill

00:40:32.580 Because I was wearing pumas

00:40:33.640 No traction

00:40:34.580 I had to crawl

00:40:36.080 And every five feet I was crawling

00:40:37.360 He would knock me out

00:40:38.300 It was terrible

00:40:39.480 I got cut up

00:40:40.680 I got cut up on my hands

00:40:42.020 It was

00:40:42.700 What's his name?

00:40:43.140 Harry Styles

00:40:43.760 What's the dog's name?

00:40:44.320 Yeah

00:40:44.500 Indiana Jones

00:40:45.880 Oh Indiana Jones

00:40:47.080 My bad

00:40:47.500 Yeah Harry

00:40:47.940 That's a better name though

00:40:49.160 Indiana Jones man

00:40:50.440 This dog has straight up

00:40:52.700 Lost his mind

00:40:53.580 Since he moved here

00:40:54.300 And what kind of dog is it?

00:40:55.620 Let's see a picture

00:40:56.140 Of a dog like this

00:40:57.400 He's half pit bull

00:40:57.660 Half

00:40:58.200 Half pit bull

00:41:00.440 Half American bulldog

00:41:01.720 Let's see this dog right here 0.70

00:41:03.800 There's an upside down picture

00:41:05.460 Of him right

00:41:06.400 There 0.99

00:41:08.380 Oh damn 0.99

00:41:09.700 Look at that dude 1.00

00:41:13.040 Oh it's beautiful

00:41:13.940 How much is a dog like that weigh?

00:41:15.880 68 pounds dude

00:41:17.380 But he had huge nuts

00:41:19.500 That Beth did not want me to take off

00:41:22.040 Y'all took him off?

00:41:23.600 She was like

00:41:24.140 Why

00:41:24.560 She kept saying every morning

00:41:25.700 I would come down

00:41:26.300 And she would just be petting him

00:41:27.300 But looking at his nuts

00:41:28.100 And I'm like

00:41:28.560 I said what?

00:41:30.300 That's the first sign 1.00

00:41:31.080 Of fucking somebody leaving you 1.00

00:41:32.280 When I asked her 1.00

00:41:33.180 I go what's the deal?

00:41:33.920 She was like

00:41:34.260 Why are his nuts

00:41:35.080 So much cuter than yours?

00:41:36.360 I'm like

00:41:36.640 What's that?

00:41:37.820 She goes

00:41:38.080 Yours are wrinkly

00:41:38.880 And like

00:41:39.560 His are so smooth

00:41:40.500 And tight

00:41:41.000 Yeah he's got that good bag man

00:41:43.060 But listen man

00:41:43.960 He's younger than me

00:41:45.300 You know

00:41:45.660 I mean

00:41:46.420 I got a couple years

00:41:47.540 On this dude

00:41:48.220 That's your guy right there

00:41:50.080 Have you seen that video

00:41:50.880 Of the dude

00:41:51.380 Making

00:41:52.440 A bong 1.00

00:41:53.860 Out of a bass?

00:41:55.420 Oh yeah

00:41:55.900 I've seen that guy

00:41:56.580 Yeah this dude

00:41:58.400 This dude is redneck as F 1.00

00:41:59.780 Tell me

00:42:04.320 I gotta tell you

00:42:05.160 It didn't even work

00:42:06.460 Gang gang gang gang

00:42:08.020 Gang gang gang gang

00:42:08.820 That's your guy

00:42:10.100 That's your guy man

00:42:11.100 I didn't realize

00:42:12.060 That is our guy

00:42:12.820 Oh that's your guy

00:42:13.320 And this is me

00:42:14.040 Obviously that's my

00:42:15.040 One of my

00:42:15.460 That is not you

00:42:16.500 That is one of my

00:42:17.760 First headshots in LA

00:42:18.800 Look at that dude

00:42:21.600 That ain't you

00:42:22.280 Yeah that's me man

00:42:23.340 Is this in

00:42:24.500 Hold on

00:42:25.260 Is this near the docks

00:42:27.000 In New York

00:42:27.560 In 1908

00:42:28.640 Why do I look 80

00:42:30.480 In this picture

00:42:31.000 First of all

00:42:31.700 Literally

00:42:33.500 Looks like my grandfather

00:42:35.620 He did

00:42:37.200 There is no

00:42:38.120 Are you serious

00:42:38.680 Yeah that's me

00:42:39.520 In

00:42:40.080 That's me

00:42:40.760 In

00:42:41.520 1990

00:42:43.140 Probably

00:42:45.100 Eight

00:42:45.760 Let's look at some

00:42:46.500 Other ones man

00:42:47.080 Let's look up

00:42:47.620 Let's do Bobby Lee 0.99

00:42:49.520 Early headshot

00:42:51.660 You should look at

00:42:52.920 Joe Diaz

00:42:53.760 Have you seen his

00:42:54.500 Early headshots

00:42:55.200 I'm trying to think

00:42:55.800 If I have or not

00:42:56.360 His early headshots

00:42:58.600 That one right there

00:42:59.560 That's my

00:42:59.920 One of Bobby

00:43:00.540 I remember

00:43:01.000 Oh wow

00:43:02.360 Yeah that's the one

00:43:03.460 Wow

00:43:04.460 Look at him

00:43:05.260 He looks like

00:43:06.060 Somebody that works

00:43:06.760 At Islands

00:43:07.420 Restaurant

00:43:07.800 Remember Islands

00:43:08.480 Yeah but he also

00:43:09.920 Looks like a guy

00:43:10.680 Who works at Islands

00:43:11.660 But also gives hand jobs

00:43:13.220 In the back

00:43:13.820 Yeah

00:43:14.120 But look at

00:43:15.300 Not that one

00:43:16.280 But the one after

00:43:16.880 Look what happens

00:43:18.500 After a couple years

00:43:19.140 In LA

00:43:19.500 Like that

00:43:20.820 That dude looks like

00:43:22.040 He just

00:43:22.820 Very different

00:43:23.260 And look at this one

00:43:23.840 With the guitar

00:43:24.380 Go look at that one

00:43:25.220 You can see how bad

00:43:26.220 He's doing now

00:43:26.700 I mean it's so crazy

00:43:27.720 Right

00:43:28.080 I mean he's really

00:43:29.000 Changed it up

00:43:29.840 Oh Kalilah took his nuts 1.00

00:43:31.400 You can tell that

00:43:32.240 He even talked about it

00:43:34.440 In a recent episode

00:43:35.380 Look

00:43:35.760 Oh look at this

00:43:36.880 Legend here

00:43:37.500 Yeah

00:43:37.860 Oh my god

00:43:39.100 Look at that

00:43:39.840 Yep

00:43:40.140 My brother took that picture

00:43:41.880 Hold on

00:43:42.360 Look at his 1.00

00:43:43.740 Slinging dick jays 1.00

00:43:44.960 Oh yeah dude 0.99

00:43:45.940 100%

00:43:47.200 Oh my god

00:43:50.000 Bro now all his stories

00:43:52.080 That makes so much more sense

00:43:53.500 When you see this guy

00:43:54.680 Yeah dude

00:43:55.700 Because then now you see him

00:43:57.280 As this more agile 0.99

00:43:58.460 Fucking let's do it all 0.99

00:44:00.820 You know 1.00

00:44:01.580 Yo so when I met him

00:44:03.160 He was 225 pounds

00:44:05.860 He would go on stage

00:44:07.340 In a three piece suit

00:44:08.400 And he paced like crazy

00:44:11.900 Really

00:44:12.360 He paced like crazy

00:44:13.620 And he did this with his hand

00:44:14.860 All the time

00:44:15.800 So he made the people

00:44:17.460 In the front row

00:44:18.080 Kind of uncomfortable

00:44:19.040 I can see that

00:44:20.560 Because he was an intimidating dude

00:44:21.960 You know what I mean

00:44:22.780 But I will tell you

00:44:24.600 And I said this before

00:44:26.280 Both Joey

00:44:28.460 Because I started with Joey and Brody

00:44:29.860 And

00:44:31.140 They

00:44:33.340 When they first started

00:44:34.400 And they were writing jokes

00:44:35.620 It was almost unbearable

00:44:37.880 But when they

00:44:39.220 Would bomb

00:44:40.300 And ditch their jokes

00:44:42.180 And just become

00:44:43.540 Theirselves on stage

00:44:44.740 They would light up

00:44:46.480 They would light up the room

00:44:48.000 And I watched them

00:44:49.600 Gradually progress

00:44:50.920 Into realizing

00:44:51.760 Oh I just gotta be myself

00:44:53.400 On stage

00:44:53.920 Yeah

00:44:54.340 Especially those two guys

00:44:56.440 Do you know what I mean

00:44:57.320 Oh yeah

00:44:58.260 Their personalities

00:44:59.360 Yeah they're really

00:45:00.340 Yeah I mean

00:45:00.820 With Brody

00:45:02.560 Let's see Brody Stevens

00:45:03.420 Early headshot too

00:45:04.520 Brody you had to buy into

00:45:06.240 Who he was

00:45:06.980 Right that's the thing

00:45:08.360 You'd see people

00:45:09.320 Who were sitting there like

00:45:10.060 This guy is horrible

00:45:11.180 Yeah

00:45:11.440 And it's like

00:45:12.020 No you don't

00:45:12.820 If you knew

00:45:13.880 That in the parking lot

00:45:15.720 He shows up

00:45:17.500 Telling people

00:45:18.160 His vitamin regimen

00:45:19.300 And how he's been doing

00:45:21.140 Yeah

00:45:21.580 If you knew

00:45:23.180 That his GPA

00:45:23.920 Is something he really

00:45:24.940 Talks about

00:45:25.620 What he

00:45:26.260 How he did in school

00:45:27.380 At ASU

00:45:28.540 Yeah

00:45:28.920 It makes sense

00:45:30.480 You know what

00:45:31.180 3.6

00:45:32.420 Think about

00:45:33.160 Yeah

00:45:33.280 If you knew

00:45:33.980 That he just

00:45:34.540 Wandered around like that

00:45:35.860 Then you weren't shocked

00:45:37.220 When he got on stage

00:45:38.440 Just keep looking

00:45:39.280 See if you find anything

00:45:40.080 I mean

00:45:40.680 If you

00:45:41.180 You know

00:45:41.900 Little things

00:45:42.820 Theo

00:45:43.100 Like watching him

00:45:44.000 Stretch on stage

00:45:44.960 Like kick his leg up

00:45:46.000 Oh yeah

00:45:46.320 Because he was so authentic

00:45:48.600 To just who he was

00:45:50.820 He got more laughs

00:45:53.040 Off of jokes

00:45:54.760 With more

00:45:55.300 With

00:45:55.520 That didn't have punchlines 0.78

00:45:56.580 Than anybody I've ever

00:45:57.460 Known in my life

00:45:58.080 I mean it was amazing

00:45:59.740 To watch

00:46:00.460 But

00:46:01.300 Yeah he had his own way

00:46:02.440 Of

00:46:02.740 You know

00:46:04.900 He had his

00:46:06.360 Yeah he just did his own thing

00:46:07.780 But he yes

00:46:08.340 He became just

00:46:09.320 They wanted to love him

00:46:11.140 And I think that's a lot of audiences

00:46:12.900 It's like

00:46:13.880 They want to get to know

00:46:15.220 This person

00:46:15.960 That they're going to see

00:46:17.360 Yeah

00:46:17.640 You know

00:46:17.960 And a lot of

00:46:19.380 Of comedians

00:46:20.980 A lot of us

00:46:22.240 We think it's just about the joke

00:46:24.020 And it's not about

00:46:25.220 Ourselves

00:46:27.020 You know

00:46:27.320 But the crazy part is

00:46:28.920 It's hard to get comfortable enough

00:46:30.360 On stage

00:46:30.960 To get back to this

00:46:31.920 Being yourself

00:46:32.820 It's like this

00:46:34.180 Big huge circle

00:46:35.520 It's like

00:46:36.020 In the beginning

00:46:37.660 You'd be comfortable

00:46:38.680 By your friends

00:46:39.640 Y'all are comfortable

00:46:40.860 Having fun

00:46:41.500 At the lunch table

00:46:42.420 You know

00:46:43.140 People spitting out milk

00:46:44.300 People's having fun

00:46:45.200 It's fun

00:46:45.840 You know

00:46:46.140 It's fun

00:46:46.660 And there

00:46:47.640 That's where you get

00:46:48.400 A little idea in your head

00:46:49.340 Man maybe I'm funny

00:46:50.380 You know

00:46:50.820 And then

00:46:51.280 You take it on this big circle

00:46:53.200 And there's no pressure

00:46:54.340 At the lunch table

00:46:55.140 It's fun

00:46:55.880 It's all good

00:46:57.160 You're going to leave

00:46:57.780 They're going to leave

00:46:58.340 You're all going to class

00:46:59.180 Whatever

00:46:59.560 And I feel like

00:47:00.740 Eventually

00:47:01.340 The goal is to get back

00:47:02.700 To that spot on stage

00:47:04.060 I agree with you 100%

00:47:06.220 I think man

00:47:08.080 The trick for a lot of us

00:47:10.560 Is 0.88

00:47:12.100 So when you first start out

00:47:13.800 There are very few people

00:47:15.240 Who are confident enough

00:47:16.700 To be themselves

00:47:17.700 Oh agreed

00:47:18.840 You're some sort of

00:47:19.800 Heightened reality of yourself

00:47:21.100 Yeah

00:47:21.700 Right

00:47:22.120 And that heightened reality

00:47:23.720 Changes

00:47:24.520 Either in how you talk

00:47:26.540 And how you

00:47:27.980 Like

00:47:28.360 When I was

00:47:29.540 A younger comic

00:47:30.580 Heightened reality me

00:47:32.700 Was louder

00:47:33.760 Moved around a lot more

00:47:35.800 Do you know what I mean

00:47:36.500 Oh yeah

00:47:37.100 And so

00:47:37.860 But

00:47:38.820 But the trick is to

00:47:40.560 Hopefully your audience

00:47:42.320 Allows you to grow

00:47:44.220 And change

00:47:45.760 And morph

00:47:46.860 Into the real

00:47:47.680 You

00:47:48.040 Do you know what I mean

00:47:49.360 Hopefully your audience

00:47:50.440 Realizes that as an artist

00:47:51.920 You're growing also

00:47:53.280 And you're changing

00:47:54.340 And I can't be the exact dude

00:47:56.360 I was

00:47:56.900 When I was 10 years in

00:47:58.100 Because I'm 15 years in now

00:48:00.020 Wow

00:48:00.440 And I'm a different person

00:48:01.360 You know what I mean

00:48:01.940 And it gets scary

00:48:03.080 As an artist too

00:48:03.840 Because you get stuck

00:48:04.800 Thinking okay

00:48:05.400 Well is that just

00:48:06.480 Like is that the only me

00:48:08.600 Is that the best me

00:48:09.640 Like how will I

00:48:10.760 Can I shake that

00:48:12.960 Is it okay to grow

00:48:13.900 Into myself

00:48:14.620 Or is the audience

00:48:15.580 Still going to support me

00:48:16.680 I think also

00:48:17.680 Like if you get

00:48:18.480 An audience too early

00:48:19.620 It could be bad

00:48:20.820 If you haven't really

00:48:21.580 Become whoever

00:48:22.360 You're going to be

00:48:23.040 Because then

00:48:23.800 Yeah

00:48:24.240 They're getting this

00:48:25.200 Like version of you

00:48:26.260 That's not really

00:48:27.220 Refined 0.97

00:48:28.380 Or it's not really

00:48:29.200 100% as authentic

00:48:30.740 As you could get

00:48:31.420 Here's a question

00:48:32.260 That came in right here

00:48:33.080 From someone

00:48:33.600 And this could be

00:48:34.200 Brennan Schaub

00:48:35.360 Hey Josh

00:48:36.580 It's Brad

00:48:37.880 From Vancouver Canada

00:48:39.140 Hey Brad

00:48:39.760 Josh question for you

00:48:41.040 What is the

00:48:41.800 The craziest story

00:48:43.580 You have

00:48:44.160 About living with

00:48:45.140 Joey Diaz

00:48:45.880 Gang gang 0.75

00:48:46.900 Gang brother 0.77

00:48:47.540 Alright I got a couple

00:48:48.620 Questions

00:48:49.100 First of all

00:48:49.840 Did he need to be

00:48:50.820 Shirtless for the

00:48:51.720 Question or

00:48:52.720 I think it makes him

00:48:54.400 Feel

00:48:54.780 Look I can't

00:48:56.220 I can't make it

00:48:56.940 Through a

00:48:57.300 Good television program

00:48:58.780 I can't make it

00:48:59.260 Through an episode

00:48:59.580 Of The Wire

00:49:00.060 Without taking my

00:49:00.680 Shirt off

00:49:00.980 Well yeah

00:49:01.340 But that's personal

00:49:02.240 You know what I mean

00:49:03.160 That's something

00:49:03.540 Where you're like

00:49:03.900 I feel like I need

00:49:04.500 To breathe

00:49:05.100 Well I just need

00:49:05.840 Yeah

00:49:06.120 I feel restricted

00:49:07.440 I do like the fact

00:49:08.960 That he might have 0.98

00:49:09.620 Squeezed his nipple 0.98

00:49:10.640 A little bit 0.98

00:49:11.060 Right towards the end

00:49:11.760 So I like this dude

00:49:12.700 It's that nervous

00:49:13.400 Habit baby

00:49:14.060 And here I will tell you

00:49:15.220 My favorite Joe Diaz

00:49:17.100 Stories come from

00:49:18.400 You know he used

00:49:18.940 To babysit my kids

00:49:19.920 Right

00:49:20.280 And um

00:49:22.180 Did you guys ever

00:49:23.020 Do the road together

00:49:23.840 Yeah man

00:49:24.980 He sold me once

00:49:25.760 For a bag of weed

00:49:26.520 Did he really 0.97

00:49:27.220 For sex or what 0.96

00:49:28.400 Yo so 0.99

00:49:29.940 Pre phones

00:49:31.180 We might have

00:49:32.240 Had pagers

00:49:32.740 Me him

00:49:34.500 And a guy named

00:49:35.080 Lenny Schmidt

00:49:35.720 Lenny was living

00:49:36.740 In Seattle all the time

00:49:37.640 But he's out of

00:49:38.280 Chicago

00:49:38.840 Black guy 0.97

00:49:39.420 Nope

00:49:39.980 Irish dude

00:49:41.220 Bring up Lenny Schmidt

00:49:42.700 I just want to know

00:49:43.960 Visually who we're

00:49:44.540 Even thinking about

00:49:45.260 Um

00:49:45.780 I don't want to be

00:49:46.700 Thinking and

00:49:47.320 Be wrong

00:49:48.200 That yeah

00:49:50.740 That's

00:49:51.140 There you go

00:49:51.760 There you go

00:49:52.440 Oh he was in

00:49:53.100 Joe Dirt

00:49:53.580 Oh Lenny huh

00:49:55.740 Yeah

00:49:56.220 Wow there you go

00:49:57.880 Lenny Schmidt

00:49:58.560 So me

00:49:59.540 Joe Diaz

00:50:00.380 Lenny Schmidt

00:50:00.960 We drive down to

00:50:02.520 Roseburg Washington

00:50:03.700 We do a one nighter

00:50:05.620 Um

00:50:07.000 And uh

00:50:07.820 We're out of the bar

00:50:08.440 Afterwards

00:50:08.840 And we're sitting

00:50:10.120 Um

00:50:10.700 As Joe Diaz called her

00:50:11.980 He was like

00:50:12.680 We're gonna bring that girl 1.00

00:50:13.940 Who looks like me

00:50:14.520 With a wig

00:50:14.960 I'm like yeah

00:50:15.480 We're gonna bring her 0.99

00:50:16.160 Ha ha

00:50:16.800 She wanted to come

00:50:17.920 I was like yeah

00:50:18.260 We'll bring her 0.87

00:50:18.660 She was driving too

00:50:19.560 You know

00:50:19.780 So we go to this bar

00:50:21.660 I go to the bathroom

00:50:22.940 I come back

00:50:24.380 Joey and Lenny are gone

00:50:25.640 And I'm sitting there

00:50:27.940 For a second

00:50:28.380 And we're talking

00:50:29.320 Me and the girl

00:50:29.760 For a little while

00:50:30.300 And then finally

00:50:31.380 I'm like

00:50:31.720 Where are Joe

00:50:33.200 And Lenny

00:50:34.180 And she said

00:50:35.160 Oh Joey sold you

00:50:36.120 For a bag of weed

00:50:36.820 And I was like

00:50:37.980 What

00:50:38.240 I thought it was a joke

00:50:39.280 And

00:50:40.480 Cause he said

00:50:41.560 Where can I get some weed

00:50:42.440 I don't have a lot of money

00:50:43.800 And she said

00:50:45.040 I can get you a bag of weed

00:50:46.360 But you gotta leave your friend 1.00

00:50:47.360 Damn 0.99

00:50:48.240 While you're in the 1.00

00:50:48.800 While you're in the john

00:50:49.620 And he said

00:50:50.320 Deal

00:50:50.980 So

00:50:52.500 I come out

00:50:54.260 And I'm like

00:50:55.020 Your property now

00:50:56.340 Yeah

00:50:56.660 I was like

00:50:57.180 Well I don't know

00:50:57.800 How that's gonna work

00:50:58.720 Oh this is Jim Crow era 0.96

00:50:59.780 Yeah

00:51:00.100 You know what I'm saying

00:51:01.520 I was like

00:51:02.120 Well I don't know

00:51:02.700 If I'm down with that

00:51:03.760 You know

00:51:04.120 Because she really

00:51:05.240 Look

00:51:05.600 She was not my

00:51:07.940 That was not my style

00:51:09.600 Yeah

00:51:10.160 She was not

00:51:10.720 And by the way

00:51:11.800 I'm not

00:51:12.540 I always dated bigger girls 1.00

00:51:14.640 So big isn't an issue for me

00:51:16.340 Yeah

00:51:16.620 Like I always said

00:51:18.320 Like I like a girl 1.00

00:51:19.860 With a big ass 1.00

00:51:21.800 I like to see the wave 1.00

00:51:22.920 You know what I mean

00:51:24.040 I have a big mouth

00:51:25.880 So I like my girls 0.84

00:51:26.820 To be a little bigger

00:51:27.420 Just in case there's a fight

00:51:28.320 You know what I mean

00:51:28.900 Yeah

00:51:29.340 And Beth is the first girl

00:51:30.780 That I ever dated

00:51:31.340 That was

00:51:31.740 I like them a little bigger

00:51:33.240 So this girl being big 1.00

00:51:34.780 Wasn't a problem

00:51:35.400 Just the entire situation

00:51:37.720 You weren't attracted to her

00:51:39.020 Yeah

00:51:39.240 Yeah

00:51:39.680 Yeah

00:51:40.240 She goes

00:51:41.880 I go let me

00:51:42.380 Drive me back to that hotel

00:51:43.240 She goes oh okay

00:51:44.140 Was she nice

00:51:45.540 Was she cool

00:51:46.180 Yeah

00:51:47.000 Until we got back to her place 0.59

00:51:48.480 Oh yeah

00:51:49.080 Now why'd you go to her place

00:51:50.600 I thought you said hotel

00:51:51.260 Okay I go yeah

00:51:51.960 Take me back to the hotel

00:51:52.660 She goes cool

00:51:53.180 And I don't know anything

00:51:56.100 About this place

00:51:56.600 She goes hey

00:51:57.020 I just need to swing past

00:51:58.160 My place real quick

00:51:59.340 Oh yeah

00:51:59.680 To get some more weed

00:52:00.560 For you guys

00:52:01.220 And then I'll drive to the hotel

00:52:02.500 And I'm like perfect

00:52:03.720 More weed

00:52:04.360 How much you guys gonna smoke

00:52:05.460 I guess you got Joey with you

00:52:06.600 I figured Joey

00:52:07.440 It's gone by the time

00:52:09.200 I get to the hotel

00:52:09.960 Do you know what I mean

00:52:10.500 Let's smoke a motive baby

00:52:11.860 Dude

00:52:12.340 I showed up at that house

00:52:14.460 And we park

00:52:15.380 She goes into her room

00:52:16.560 To get weed

00:52:17.000 She comes out

00:52:18.460 In this crazy lingerie

00:52:21.080 Dancing like the guy

00:52:23.600 From Silence of the Lambs

00:52:24.960 Oh yeah

00:52:25.560 You know what I mean

00:52:26.500 Yeah yeah

00:52:26.860 But like

00:52:27.420 But like

00:52:28.380 Let me give you an idea

00:52:30.320 The body type

00:52:31.420 Like the belly 0.81

00:52:32.060 Was bigger than the boobs 0.94

00:52:33.300 Oh yeah 0.99

00:52:33.820 You know

00:52:34.380 And no booty 0.97

00:52:35.400 And so

00:52:36.420 Ooh

00:52:37.080 And

00:52:37.340 That's that Tampa

00:52:39.080 Dude that's that Tampa

00:52:40.100 Yeah

00:52:40.580 That's that Delray Beach

00:52:42.340 Stepmom dude

00:52:43.260 But yeah

00:52:43.660 But I'm gonna go even worse

00:52:44.680 Short curly hair

00:52:46.040 Ooh

00:52:46.540 Yeah yeah

00:52:47.040 You know what I mean

00:52:47.640 The whole package was not

00:52:48.960 Yeah

00:52:49.380 But she's dancing in this lingerie 1.00

00:52:50.980 And I'm like hey

00:52:51.540 I gotta

00:52:51.940 Yeah

00:52:53.060 Yeah I gotta

00:52:53.700 And she goes

00:52:54.560 Let me try some Elzano

00:52:55.440 And I was like

00:52:56.160 No no no no

00:52:56.560 Try some Elzano

00:52:57.640 So she goes back in

00:52:58.540 And I'm looking for Yellow Pages

00:52:59.620 Cause I'm like I'm gonna call a cab

00:53:01.000 Yeah

00:53:01.260 You know

00:53:01.460 She comes out with another one

00:53:02.980 She's running her finger over my cheek

00:53:04.500 At this point

00:53:05.020 It's feeling

00:53:05.720 Kinda rapey 1.00

00:53:07.580 Yeah

00:53:08.020 Cause I'm like

00:53:08.560 She's definitely double my weight 1.00

00:53:10.700 Like

00:53:11.380 I think I could outrun her

00:53:12.460 But she's got a car 1.00

00:53:13.460 Yeah

00:53:14.160 And she's bigger than me

00:53:15.120 Yeah and you can't just run off

00:53:16.100 In the distance

00:53:16.620 So like this guy

00:53:17.860 There's a Buffalo Bill dance

00:53:19.160 Her roommate comes home

00:53:20.480 Ooh

00:53:21.200 With her boyfriend

00:53:22.720 He walks in

00:53:24.720 And I stop him at the door

00:53:26.240 I go hey man

00:53:26.720 We don't know each other

00:53:27.500 But you gotta get me out of here

00:53:29.140 Okay

00:53:29.640 And he was like what

00:53:30.340 I go

00:53:31.100 I told him the situation

00:53:31.960 She comes out in her third outfit

00:53:33.500 And he looks at her

00:53:35.120 And looks at the girl's roommate

00:53:36.860 And the girl's roommate goes 0.99

00:53:37.540 You mind your own business

00:53:38.560 And the guy was like

00:53:39.900 I gotta take him home

00:53:41.320 I can't

00:53:42.000 I can't do this to him

00:53:43.340 No

00:53:43.700 He guy coded me

00:53:44.680 And I was like thanks dude

00:53:45.560 He goes yeah

00:53:45.960 I may not have sex tonight 0.64

00:53:47.180 But I'm gonna save you 0.79

00:53:47.960 I was like dude

00:53:48.540 Thank you so much

00:53:50.360 We didn't drive

00:53:51.140 Dude

00:53:51.720 We didn't talk on the way to the hotel

00:53:53.340 I just kind of looked out the window

00:53:54.580 Like one tear

00:53:55.420 Like it was a traumatizing

00:53:57.480 But he dropped me off

00:53:58.840 And we just fist bumped

00:54:00.120 Didn't say anything

00:54:01.180 I walked to the room

00:54:02.200 I knocked on the door

00:54:02.940 I go Joe Diaz

00:54:04.420 And he was like who is it 0.99

00:54:05.380 I go you know what the fuck it is 0.99

00:54:06.460 And I was like 0.99

00:54:08.260 Can you give me some of that weed

00:54:09.000 He was like no

00:54:09.440 We smoked all that dark weed 1.00

00:54:11.060 What an asshole 1.00

00:54:13.180 Yeah he sold me for weed 1.00

00:54:15.100 Was asleep in my bed

00:54:16.980 Yeah

00:54:17.340 Ate my food in my room

00:54:18.860 And then was like

00:54:19.680 Hey can you drive

00:54:20.380 I'm tired

00:54:20.860 But yeah man

00:54:22.940 We've done some road gigs together

00:54:25.280 Dude that's awesome

00:54:26.280 And I'm trying to think

00:54:26.860 If I had a good road gig story

00:54:28.540 What about the one

00:54:30.160 Where you and I

00:54:30.840 Tried to sell out

00:54:31.640 A convention center

00:54:32.480 Oh man

00:54:33.620 Is that the most embarrassing

00:54:35.300 That shows just how little

00:54:37.960 We knew

00:54:38.600 What was happening

00:54:39.520 With stand up comedy

00:54:40.400 Theo

00:54:40.760 Man that was wild man

00:54:43.660 So

00:54:44.040 I'll start it

00:54:45.480 So

00:54:45.700 Yeah

00:54:45.900 Well Josh

00:54:48.140 Josh and his wife

00:54:50.480 Who is from Lake Charles

00:54:52.160 Was putting on

00:54:53.860 A comedy show

00:54:55.500 And we'd just been on

00:54:57.560 Last Comic Standing

00:54:58.540 And

00:55:00.280 They're like hey

00:55:01.600 We can sell some tickets

00:55:03.080 Let's do a show

00:55:04.260 Down in Lake Charles

00:55:05.100 You're from Louisiana

00:55:06.320 Beth's from Louisiana

00:55:07.780 Yeah let's make it happen

00:55:08.880 We were just on TV

00:55:10.200 Yeah

00:55:10.780 TV must

00:55:11.560 Yeah

00:55:11.860 We're gonna sell this place

00:55:13.060 Yeah

00:55:13.300 So how many seats was it

00:55:15.380 Let's look it up

00:55:16.140 Let's look up the place

00:55:16.920 The Lake Charles Convention Center

00:55:18.240 Yeah

00:55:18.640 I'm dying to know

00:55:20.780 Me too

00:55:21.180 Well hold on

00:55:21.560 Before you

00:55:21.940 Hold on

00:55:22.220 Let's guess

00:55:22.780 You wanna guess

00:55:23.140 Let's guess yeah

00:55:23.740 15,000

00:55:26.620 No you think

00:55:28.300 I'm gonna guess

00:55:29.120 Oh you might be right

00:55:31.880 I mean

00:55:32.200 It's at that convention center

00:55:33.080 Cause Cable Guy

00:55:33.860 Had just played it

00:55:34.980 He had

00:55:35.460 Wow

00:55:36.120 I'm gonna guess

00:55:36.900 2,600

00:55:38.480 75

00:55:42.740 7,500

00:55:44.060 Alright

00:55:44.620 Maybe it seemed like

00:55:46.460 1,500

00:55:46.860 Because we only sold

00:55:48.040 Can you show a picture

00:55:49.200 From the stage

00:55:49.720 I wonder if there's any

00:55:50.220 Stage view

00:55:50.880 That's it

00:55:52.280 Wow

00:55:52.880 Do you remember

00:55:54.060 How many people

00:55:54.520 Were in those seats dude

00:55:55.420 So

00:55:57.420 I

00:55:58.340 I

00:55:59.240 Remember

00:55:59.940 Because yes

00:56:00.780 I could see

00:56:01.520 Each

00:56:02.600 One

00:56:03.280 Of them

00:56:04.000 They're

00:56:05.040 At one point

00:56:07.520 We asked them all

00:56:08.220 To come down

00:56:08.620 To the front

00:56:09.100 Do you remember

00:56:14.740 So we were gonna

00:56:15.960 Do radio

00:56:16.660 Right

00:56:17.000 So we didn't even

00:56:18.340 Have radio planned

00:56:19.540 And the convention center

00:56:21.600 Called

00:56:21.940 And they were like

00:56:22.360 Are you guys expecting

00:56:23.300 A late rush of tickets

00:56:25.040 And I was like

00:56:26.500 You know

00:56:27.060 Maybe

00:56:27.860 I go

00:56:28.660 Why how many

00:56:29.140 Do we have sold

00:56:29.760 Cause it was the weekend

00:56:30.560 Coming up

00:56:31.060 And they were like

00:56:31.700 We got 179 tickets

00:56:33.500 And I was like

00:56:37.480 What

00:56:37.960 And they said

00:56:40.380 Yeah

00:56:40.560 And they said

00:56:41.160 We brought the curtains

00:56:42.120 As far in as we can

00:56:43.420 Wow

00:56:44.040 But you know

00:56:44.860 What I mean

00:56:45.360 And so

00:56:46.120 Yeah

00:56:46.260 But you still

00:56:46.840 There's still

00:56:47.280 4500 seats

00:56:48.660 Exposed

00:56:49.200 Dude

00:56:50.200 And then

00:56:51.360 Here's my favorite

00:56:52.800 Part of that

00:56:53.560 Besides the fact

00:56:54.800 That we did the show

00:56:55.580 For probably

00:56:56.200 If there were

00:56:57.220 150 people there

00:56:58.160 I would be

00:56:59.820 Excited

00:57:00.540 I don't think

00:57:01.540 There were

00:57:01.840 No

00:57:02.280 Some were bought

00:57:03.640 As giveaways

00:57:04.360 I think so

00:57:05.060 Yeah

00:57:06.140 My favorite part

00:57:06.960 About that

00:57:07.440 Theo

00:57:07.680 Is that

00:57:08.080 You know

00:57:08.460 Beth

00:57:08.920 Made

00:57:10.140 About

00:57:11.320 2000 hats

00:57:12.860 You remember

00:57:13.380 Those hats

00:57:13.840 No way

00:57:14.240 Oh I still

00:57:14.800 Got a box

00:57:15.400 At my house

00:57:15.880 To

00:57:17.020 I give them away

00:57:17.800 On my lives

00:57:18.520 Oh I love that

00:57:19.400 But there's about

00:57:20.840 It just says

00:57:21.440 Fairly normal

00:57:22.320 And because remember

00:57:23.460 We made that poster

00:57:24.420 Fairly normal comedy tour

00:57:25.600 Is that it

00:57:25.980 Yeah

00:57:26.240 Yeah

00:57:26.420 Yeah

00:57:26.500 We made that

00:57:27.540 Yeah

00:57:28.080 Like a fairly normal

00:57:29.100 Comedy tour

00:57:29.820 There's no way

00:57:30.700 There's a poster

00:57:31.320 That was it

00:57:33.740 That's it

00:57:35.980 Right there dude

00:57:36.760 Look at you

00:57:37.440 Wow 1.00

00:57:38.160 Look at that shit 1.00

00:57:39.760 August 5th 1.00

00:57:42.000 8pm

00:57:42.800 Lake Charles

00:57:43.800 This was

00:57:44.280 2006

00:57:46.260 It should have said

00:57:47.800 Everybody who buys

00:57:48.620 One ticket

00:57:49.100 Gets the whole row

00:57:50.000 Look at this

00:57:53.180 Dude

00:57:53.860 Oh

00:57:55.100 Oh

00:57:56.100 This is so terrible

00:57:58.360 Why are you third

00:57:59.860 Behind Flip Schultz

00:58:00.880 I don't know

00:58:01.520 It's just the whole

00:58:02.100 Thing's cringe

00:58:02.860 It's awesome though

00:58:05.400 I can't

00:58:05.680 I will tell you man

00:58:07.240 Who opened the show

00:58:08.720 Flip

00:58:09.720 No no no no

00:58:11.480 Amy

00:58:11.780 Oh yeah

00:58:12.680 Amy Claire

00:58:13.160 Amy Claire

00:58:13.940 Amy Claire

00:58:15.660 Opened the show

00:58:16.300 Because she was from

00:58:17.180 We thought

00:58:17.560 Oh she's from

00:58:18.100 Around here too

00:58:18.840 That'll help

00:58:19.480 She'll sell a bunch 1.00

00:58:20.280 Of tickets

00:58:20.860 None of us

00:58:21.960 Could sell anything

00:58:22.780 A ticket

00:58:23.440 Yeah

00:58:24.420 I mean I think

00:58:25.120 Most of them

00:58:25.920 Were you guys

00:58:26.320 As friends and family

00:58:27.120 All of them

00:58:28.140 Yeah

00:58:28.420 It was

00:58:29.280 It was

00:58:29.960 To this date

00:58:31.040 Like

00:58:31.500 The most humiliating

00:58:33.520 Walking out

00:58:34.200 It has to be

00:58:34.960 The smallest amount

00:58:35.900 Of tickets ever

00:58:36.480 Sold in a large

00:58:37.800 I can't imagine

00:58:38.680 There's something

00:58:39.020 Smaller

00:58:39.340 160 tickets

00:58:40.560 In a

00:58:41.180 In a convention center

00:58:42.560 Yeah

00:58:43.020 In 7500 seats

00:58:44.560 And

00:58:45.100 But I will tell you

00:58:46.020 The truth

00:58:46.460 Knowing what stand up

00:58:48.280 I was doing back then

00:58:49.180 That's about all it deserved

00:58:50.420 Yeah

00:58:50.840 Like I didn't deserve

00:58:51.780 More than 100 people

00:58:52.780 No

00:58:53.120 Dude I was telling jokes

00:58:54.040 About PT Cruisers

00:58:55.580 That Flip had just

00:58:56.220 Bought one

00:58:56.880 And that was a crazy

00:58:57.420 That was the tough

00:58:58.480 Part of me for the weekend

00:58:59.520 14% of my jokes

00:59:01.760 Were about

00:59:02.280 Kind of a

00:59:04.260 Home erotic essence

00:59:05.240 Of a PT Cruiser car

00:59:06.580 Yep

00:59:06.920 And Flip Schultz

00:59:08.500 Had just

00:59:09.100 Gotten one

00:59:10.100 As like his

00:59:10.640 Dream car

00:59:11.380 Or not dream car

00:59:12.240 But he just

00:59:12.700 Got one

00:59:12.920 He was pretty happy

00:59:13.300 Yeah

00:59:13.540 Yeah and he was happy

00:59:14.340 Yeah

00:59:14.600 So it was like

00:59:15.640 Oh man

00:59:16.520 We had also

00:59:17.180 Just got through

00:59:18.160 On the radio

00:59:19.720 The day before

00:59:20.680 We had just

00:59:21.960 Got through

00:59:22.540 Doing about a

00:59:23.300 Half an hour rant

00:59:24.260 On his hands

00:59:25.300 Yeah

00:59:25.860 Really

00:59:26.280 On his skinny

00:59:27.180 Little fingers

00:59:27.900 And how

00:59:28.680 Oh my god dude

00:59:30.080 It was like

00:59:30.960 It was

00:59:31.920 Pretty crazy

00:59:33.000 And then he flew in

00:59:34.180 We had a great time

00:59:35.460 But 150 people

00:59:36.900 Was

00:59:37.260 I got a couple

00:59:38.340 Of those hats

00:59:38.740 If you want them man 0.98

00:59:39.460 I wouldn't mind

00:59:40.980 A hat I think

00:59:41.700 God

00:59:42.760 Yeah yeah

00:59:43.200 It

00:59:43.440 It

00:59:43.880 It

00:59:44.180 It

00:59:44.660 It

00:59:44.740 It was 15 years ago

00:59:46.620 Do

00:59:48.040 2006

00:59:49.160 When do you feel like

00:59:51.800 Um

00:59:52.760 I only started comedy

00:59:53.880 I think in 2003

00:59:55.000 Yeah you had just started

00:59:56.140 When do you feel like

00:59:58.220 Like around what time

01:00:00.180 With your stand up

01:00:01.100 Because I think

01:00:02.480 This happens for everybody

01:00:03.760 Where

01:00:04.300 You feel like

01:00:05.160 Oh you really sunk into it

01:00:06.760 You were like

01:00:07.100 Got it

01:00:07.760 Well I thought about this

01:00:09.800 The other day

01:00:10.240 We were talking about it

01:00:11.180 At the

01:00:11.500 At the comedy club

01:00:12.700 I was thinking

01:00:13.360 You know

01:00:14.660 I always felt like

01:00:15.680 In the beginning of stand up

01:00:17.000 It feels like

01:00:18.080 There's like this

01:00:19.760 Tide coming in

01:00:20.860 Of like pressure

01:00:21.620 From the audience

01:00:22.960 You're like

01:00:23.380 Okay I have to get a joke

01:00:24.880 And there's

01:00:25.220 You know I gotta get another joke

01:00:26.600 And okay there's laughing

01:00:27.640 But there

01:00:27.940 It's all like

01:00:28.800 Defensive

01:00:29.640 There's this tide

01:00:31.480 Coming in

01:00:32.020 And you have to like

01:00:32.740 Battle it

01:00:33.380 And battle it

01:00:33.960 And then eventually

01:00:35.280 Over time

01:00:36.940 And you don't even

01:00:37.320 Really notice it

01:00:38.180 You get up

01:00:39.620 And you don't

01:00:40.160 You're the tide

01:00:40.940 Yeah

01:00:41.940 So you are

01:00:43.600 Putting out the pressure

01:00:44.820 You are putting out

01:00:45.960 The force

01:00:46.540 There's nothing

01:00:47.560 Coming back in

01:00:48.640 Maybe every now and then

01:00:50.640 There's a little bit

01:00:51.760 Of like

01:00:52.200 A

01:00:52.520 Undercurrent

01:00:54.080 Or something

01:00:54.540 Of like

01:00:55.520 Okay maybe I should

01:00:56.380 Move this along

01:00:57.240 Or I'm a little rusty

01:00:58.180 But there's

01:00:59.440 It gets to the point

01:01:00.460 Where you're the ocean

01:01:01.640 You're the force

01:01:02.680 And I think that's

01:01:04.360 That's just what I noticed

01:01:05.860 Over time

01:01:06.560 And I don't even know

01:01:07.500 When it happened really

01:01:08.520 I think

01:01:09.140 You know maybe

01:01:11.580 Like there was one point

01:01:12.880 Where I got upset

01:01:13.620 With Hollywood

01:01:14.220 And

01:01:14.680 I just felt

01:01:16.780 Well I didn't

01:01:17.360 I don't know if I got upset

01:01:18.220 I've always kind of

01:01:18.860 Had a chip on my shoulder

01:01:19.660 About Hollywood

01:01:20.100 Just because I feel like

01:01:20.800 They don't put a lot of people

01:01:22.180 Like regular people up

01:01:24.700 In Hollywood

01:01:25.720 That much anymore

01:01:26.520 I agree

01:01:27.060 And it's a lot of nepotism now

01:01:29.380 It's like this person's kid now

01:01:31.340 It's just

01:01:31.860 And the kid has no culture

01:01:33.940 You know

01:01:34.440 It's just there's no

01:01:35.280 So I think

01:01:36.620 I was always trying to like

01:01:39.060 Sound like a perfect guy

01:01:40.320 Who would be somewhere

01:01:41.340 You know

01:01:41.720 Oh I'm in the yard next door

01:01:43.080 You know

01:01:43.360 Like just this

01:01:44.120 Thing that would be okay

01:01:45.740 For Hollywood

01:01:46.340 And then at one point

01:01:47.660 I just said

01:01:48.420 Dude I'm just gonna talk about

01:01:50.500 What I like to

01:01:52.280 What I know

01:01:53.000 I'm gonna talk about 0.99

01:01:53.660 Just the shit that was around me 0.99

01:01:55.060 Growing up 1.00

01:01:55.720 And just

01:01:56.140 The weird people 0.98

01:01:57.660 And the shit that happened 0.98

01:01:58.820 And people 0.99

01:01:59.320 You know

01:02:00.100 They busted a man

01:02:00.800 Trying to be a ghost

01:02:01.660 In our town 1.00

01:02:02.300 And just shit like that 0.99

01:02:03.300 You know 0.99

01:02:03.580 Just like stories from home

01:02:04.880 And

01:02:05.120 Do you feel like

01:02:07.400 Your comfort level

01:02:08.920 Do you feel like

01:02:11.340 When you started sitting down

01:02:12.660 Was also around the same time

01:02:14.560 You got more comfortable

01:02:15.320 No I don't think so

01:02:17.360 I think I started sitting down

01:02:18.660 Just because

01:02:19.660 I have one story

01:02:21.740 That takes like about 12 minutes

01:02:23.020 And it's kind of better

01:02:23.640 From a stool

01:02:24.220 And so I think that's kind of

01:02:25.900 Led to me sitting down

01:02:26.840 I think in the future

01:02:28.160 I'll probably have to get back

01:02:29.100 On my feet

01:02:29.540 To really start to feel

01:02:30.560 Everything again

01:02:31.320 You know

01:02:31.720 Getting older

01:02:32.840 It gets more comfortable

01:02:33.560 Sometimes sitting down too

01:02:34.720 You know what was for me

01:02:36.420 Like

01:02:36.820 I

01:02:38.120 It's about nuance

01:02:39.860 Like it is about the performance

01:02:41.600 You know

01:02:42.000 And as I've gotten older

01:02:43.840 I've really

01:02:44.740 Given myself more leeway

01:02:47.180 To be experimental on stage

01:02:48.720 And so

01:02:50.180 I did one whole tour

01:02:51.300 From a stool

01:02:51.960 I did

01:02:52.660 Then I did the next year

01:02:53.800 Just standing in front of the mic

01:02:55.260 Wow

01:02:55.660 And then I did one

01:02:56.760 Of just moving

01:02:57.900 And so I was like

01:02:59.200 It's so interesting

01:02:59.980 Now I can tell

01:03:00.800 What part of the story

01:03:01.720 Needs me to be still

01:03:02.900 And what part of the story

01:03:04.760 Needs the motion

01:03:05.580 Because it really

01:03:06.520 Adds to the punch

01:03:08.400 You know what I mean

01:03:08.980 But if you're always moving

01:03:10.620 Or you're always still

01:03:12.120 Like it really feels like

01:03:14.100 You can figure out

01:03:15.800 In your act

01:03:17.100 What parts

01:03:17.820 Work better like that

01:03:19.960 You know what I mean

01:03:20.500 And to me

01:03:21.160 Those nuanced parts

01:03:22.360 Is what happens

01:03:23.360 When you get a little older

01:03:24.660 And you've been doing it a while

01:03:25.760 You're like

01:03:26.120 Oh this

01:03:26.920 This joke's gonna work better

01:03:28.980 If I sit down

01:03:30.100 For the minute leading up to it

01:03:31.840 And then stand up for the joke

01:03:33.160 Yeah 0.99

01:03:33.560 Or little shit like that 0.98

01:03:34.820 You know 0.99

01:03:35.040 Yeah

01:03:35.300 That comedy nerd stuff

01:03:36.900 I've really started

01:03:38.000 To dive into

01:03:39.640 You know

01:03:39.900 Yeah

01:03:40.180 Well you and me

01:03:41.400 Are more storytellers

01:03:42.420 I find

01:03:42.880 You know

01:03:43.240 And there's not a lot

01:03:44.120 Of that these days

01:03:44.980 Everything gets real

01:03:45.820 Cut and dried

01:03:46.600 In stand up

01:03:48.340 Are you

01:03:48.980 And I noticed

01:03:50.100 That you

01:03:50.500 There was

01:03:51.380 Something up there

01:03:52.480 That was dirty

01:03:53.080 And you said F 0.98

01:03:54.040 Are you

01:03:54.700 Do you consider yourself

01:03:55.760 Clean

01:03:56.600 I think I just don't like

01:03:58.720 I try not to be vulgar

01:04:00.100 Right

01:04:00.440 Like I noticed

01:04:01.200 It started just

01:04:01.900 I don't know

01:04:03.020 And I probably have

01:04:03.940 A very bad understanding

01:04:05.200 Of if I am vulgar

01:04:06.580 And then I'm not

01:04:07.300 Trying to be vulgar

01:04:08.240 Right

01:04:08.540 But I don't like

01:04:09.600 I think some stuff

01:04:10.640 If it feels too graphic

01:04:11.920 To me

01:04:12.420 It just like

01:04:13.380 I don't know

01:04:15.020 A lot of times

01:04:15.580 It takes people out of it

01:04:16.700 I feel

01:04:17.080 You know

01:04:17.660 Yeah

01:04:18.020 I feel like

01:04:18.240 If there's a lady 1.00

01:04:19.540 Listening and she hears

01:04:20.740 You know

01:04:21.480 If she hears me say 1.00

01:04:22.820 The pussy 1.00

01:04:23.740 Or you know 1.00

01:04:24.640 You know

01:04:25.400 Ejaculation 0.56

01:04:26.800 Or something like that 0.99

01:04:27.800 Or E-Jack

01:04:28.540 Or something

01:04:28.980 Sometimes they

01:04:29.540 They shut it off

01:04:31.100 Yeah E-Jack's a tough one

01:04:32.240 I heard

01:04:32.580 Well E-Jack is easier

01:04:34.200 Yeah

01:04:35.100 You get the point across

01:04:36.200 Yeah

01:04:36.500 Well you know

01:04:37.440 It's interesting

01:04:37.880 I think it has to do

01:04:39.260 With being authentic

01:04:39.980 Right

01:04:40.320 Because

01:04:40.620 I don't

01:04:42.180 I very rarely

01:04:43.680 Do I hear people

01:04:44.220 Get offended by Joey

01:04:45.220 Because it's so authentic

01:04:46.960 Coming out of his mouth

01:04:47.840 Right

01:04:48.040 And if it's not authentic to you

01:04:50.060 Then I think

01:04:50.660 It offends people more easily

01:04:52.320 Because it also sounds weird

01:04:53.560 Oh that's a good point

01:04:54.300 Do you know what I mean

01:04:54.840 Yeah

01:04:55.120 I'm never offended by anything

01:04:56.260 Joey says

01:04:56.740 Because I'm like

01:04:57.280 That's just

01:04:57.860 It's like when a white guy 0.86

01:04:59.000 Says the N word kind of

01:04:59.900 It's like

01:05:00.120 Oh that sounds a little inauthentic

01:05:01.400 Yeah you

01:05:01.760 You're trying a little too hard

01:05:03.060 Right now I'm going to

01:05:05.860 Actually open up

01:05:06.780 A select item

01:05:08.440 I haven't seen it yet

01:05:09.480 But

01:05:10.060 Gang

01:05:11.160 I'm interested in this thing man

01:05:12.740 You got to see this

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01:06:28.720 Let's uh

01:06:30.740 Oh here we got

01:06:31.380 A question right here

01:06:32.080 From a young gentleman

01:06:32.900 Right here

01:06:33.360 Beautiful fellow

01:06:34.060 Right here

01:06:34.640 Outdoors

01:06:35.640 Could be the same guy

01:06:38.280 With his shirt on

01:06:39.360 Right here

01:06:39.740 Beautiful man

01:06:40.500 Hey what's up guys

01:06:42.700 Quick question

01:06:43.520 Uh

01:06:44.560 Josh probably

01:06:45.660 More towards you

01:06:46.360 I got this little uh

01:06:48.300 This little swag daddy

01:06:49.900 Over here

01:06:50.400 Yeah

01:06:50.740 What's up player

01:06:51.320 You know

01:06:52.240 He's a stud

01:06:52.940 He's probably gonna mount

01:06:54.200 A lot when he gets older

01:06:55.320 Respect

01:06:56.320 But uh

01:06:57.860 He's the defiant one

01:06:58.920 Starting not to listen

01:07:01.480 And I know when he gets older

01:07:02.660 He's probably gonna be 1.00

01:07:03.880 A little motherfucker 1.00

01:07:04.620 So I wanna know 1.00

01:07:06.540 You know

01:07:07.860 In this

01:07:08.160 This new woke age

01:07:09.340 You can't hit your kids anymore 0.96

01:07:10.740 Spank them 0.97

01:07:11.280 So Josh

01:07:13.360 What do you

01:07:13.900 You know

01:07:14.900 Is there any other ways

01:07:15.520 To discipline them

01:07:16.200 I know time outs 1.00

01:07:17.220 For pussies 1.00

01:07:17.900 Theo 0.99

01:07:19.440 You know

01:07:20.600 We come from a different time

01:07:21.680 Do you

01:07:22.140 You know

01:07:22.620 I'm sure you got spanked 1.00

01:07:23.500 When you were a kid

01:07:24.000 Do you actually think it worked

01:07:25.580 Cause when I was a kid

01:07:27.120 I remember

01:07:27.520 I remember the beatings

01:07:28.800 I don't remember why

01:07:30.220 I got the beatings

01:07:30.980 So I don't know

01:07:31.460 If I actually learned

01:07:32.260 Anything from it

01:07:33.020 So

01:07:33.460 I don't know

01:07:34.920 If you guys can give any help

01:07:36.080 It'd be appreciative

01:07:37.400 Thanks guys

01:07:38.440 Gang

01:07:39.400 And uh

01:07:40.780 Yeah man

01:07:41.680 Yeah man

01:07:43.160 Yeah man

01:07:44.120 Man well here's the deal

01:07:46.040 For a child that age

01:07:48.960 It's hard for them

01:07:50.580 To understand

01:07:51.220 Discipline

01:07:52.100 And

01:07:52.860 I

01:07:54.600 I

01:07:55.120 I firmly believe

01:07:56.320 Especially that age

01:07:57.440 All physical does

01:07:59.340 Is instill fear

01:08:00.580 Cause you have no understanding

01:08:02.700 At that age

01:08:03.400 You know what I mean

01:08:04.000 I didn't hit my kids

01:08:05.940 Um

01:08:06.880 But I do think

01:08:07.800 Every kid needs to be

01:08:08.660 Parented differently

01:08:09.460 Like

01:08:09.780 If

01:08:10.560 I have three older brothers

01:08:11.960 We're all different people

01:08:12.640 We all responded

01:08:13.540 In different ways

01:08:14.280 All my dad had to do

01:08:15.640 Was raise his voice to me

01:08:16.960 And I was like 1.00

01:08:17.400 Fuck it 1.00

01:08:17.840 I am good 1.00

01:08:18.860 Like I'm ready to do

01:08:19.780 Whatever you need

01:08:20.280 My brothers weren't that way

01:08:21.600 I will tell you this

01:08:22.860 For me

01:08:23.340 For my kids

01:08:24.020 And I think Jacob

01:08:25.120 Is a good dude man

01:08:26.000 He's turned out pretty well

01:08:27.000 Yeah

01:08:27.220 He seemed like a really cool guy

01:08:28.460 Um

01:08:29.200 Man there are things

01:08:31.780 That they

01:08:32.200 Here's the thing

01:08:33.220 No

01:08:34.220 You don't negotiate

01:08:35.060 With terrorists 1.00

01:08:35.760 They're all terrorists

01:08:37.040 Yeah 0.98

01:08:37.380 You don't keep

01:08:39.060 Giving chances

01:08:40.220 I

01:08:41.140 I

01:08:41.460 I always told my kids

01:08:42.720 Here are the rules

01:08:43.460 You're not gonna hear me

01:08:45.200 Tell you again

01:08:46.120 And warn you

01:08:46.800 I just gave you

01:08:47.900 The warning is the rule

01:08:49.500 So there's

01:08:50.940 You have to know

01:08:51.680 They have to know

01:08:52.340 Oh if this happens

01:08:53.280 I'm gonna get in trouble

01:08:54.600 Right

01:08:54.960 And take everything

01:08:56.060 Phone

01:08:57.520 Xbox

01:08:57.960 You know these

01:08:58.740 This generation of kids

01:09:00.120 Thinks they're so tough

01:09:01.060 Have you seen videos

01:09:02.440 Of people getting their Xbox taken

01:09:03.840 Or they

01:09:04.900 Oh they try to

01:09:05.660 I mean

01:09:06.120 What's that crazy video

01:09:07.420 Where that dude

01:09:07.900 Tried to shove the remote control 1.00

01:09:08.980 In his own asshole 1.00

01:09:09.680 He was so mad at his parents 1.00

01:09:10.760 For stealing his

01:09:11.440 They go crazy dude

01:09:13.360 They're not

01:09:14.620 Oh you gotta just take the phone

01:09:15.480 Take the Xbox

01:09:15.980 They lose

01:09:16.940 Their mind

01:09:18.820 They don't know what to do

01:09:19.560 No

01:09:19.820 Take what they love

01:09:22.000 Jacob one time

01:09:23.500 Defied me

01:09:24.220 Cause I told him

01:09:24.840 No vapes man

01:09:25.540 I better not ever see you

01:09:26.460 With a vape

01:09:27.580 This

01:09:27.820 You never saw this Theo

01:09:28.660 Oh my god

01:09:30.360 I can't believe

01:09:31.780 Okay my mom

01:09:32.400 Just cancelled my brother's

01:09:33.700 World of Warcraft account

01:09:35.020 And he is 0.96

01:09:35.540 F***ing out 0.98

01:09:36.820 She can't believe more 0.99

01:09:38.360 Do what I can't even

01:09:39.040 Have to see this

01:09:39.620 Oh my god

01:09:40.900 You're making more

01:09:42.220 Get out of my mouth 1.00

01:09:45.980 This is fake 0.95

01:09:48.500 This is fake dude

01:10:03.100 Wait

01:10:03.860 The ending's the best

01:10:05.240 I don't think it's fake

01:10:11.180 Because I don't think

01:10:11.900 Kids are that good actors

01:10:13.080 Look how crazy

01:10:14.380 I don't know

01:10:15.900 Kids are willing

01:10:16.600 To be good actors

01:10:17.240 Because they have no idea 0.96

01:10:18.440 How ridiculous stuff looks 0.98

01:10:20.040 Oh he's naked now 0.98

01:10:21.160 After the sheet 1.00

01:10:21.800 Damn 0.97

01:10:25.920 Wait 1.00

01:10:32.340 Oh my god

01:10:38.300 Here comes the

01:10:39.000 Come on grab

01:10:39.660 Watch this

01:10:41.740 Oh my god

01:10:44.840 How primal

01:10:48.160 Huh

01:10:48.560 Is this what you want

01:10:52.680 For me

01:10:54.960 I ain't my life

01:10:55.840 For me

01:10:56.960 I ain't my life

01:10:57.920 See

01:11:02.940 No way

01:11:06.900 Now this kid 1.00

01:11:09.900 Needs his ass 1.00

01:11:10.540 This is when you 1.00

01:11:13.340 Beat a kid

01:11:13.820 Yeah man

01:11:14.320 But all I'm saying

01:11:15.300 Is 0.88

01:11:15.640 For me

01:11:16.480 It's just a tantrum

01:11:18.000 It's like watching

01:11:18.720 A baby

01:11:19.520 You know

01:11:20.260 But here's the deal dude

01:11:21.300 So my son tried

01:11:22.560 To throw a tantrum

01:11:23.340 At a grocery store once

01:11:25.040 My oldest son

01:11:25.620 Trevor

01:11:25.920 I left him

01:11:27.480 Yeah

01:11:28.440 I go hey man

01:11:30.160 We don't do this in public

01:11:30.860 And I go we're leaving

01:11:32.880 He was like I'm not leaving

01:11:33.640 I go cool

01:11:34.120 I am

01:11:35.060 Yeah

01:11:35.560 I got Jacob

01:11:37.220 I got my daughter

01:11:38.080 We got in the car 0.99

01:11:39.140 And we drove the fuck home 0.99

01:11:40.620 What time did he get home 0.99

01:11:42.080 Oh no no no

01:11:42.840 I mean he was

01:11:43.460 Eight

01:11:44.380 So I didn't leave him

01:11:45.100 Leave him 0.69

01:11:45.380 I drove

01:11:45.940 Oh wow

01:11:46.680 And then I drove back

01:11:47.440 I see

01:11:48.040 And they were going crazy

01:11:49.960 Like I came back

01:11:51.460 I came back like 20 minutes later

01:11:52.800 The other kid's like

01:11:53.620 You're leaving him

01:11:54.480 Yeah

01:11:54.760 And I was like yeah I'm leaving him

01:11:56.000 And I go no tantrums

01:11:56.960 This isn't what we do

01:11:57.720 Yeah

01:11:58.100 I remember my dad left

01:11:59.640 My brother for real

01:12:01.320 But like

01:12:02.960 Oh yeah we got left

01:12:03.860 I mean my mom would be like

01:12:04.740 Yeah I can't come get you

01:12:05.900 No

01:12:06.120 Or if there was any

01:12:07.360 Oh I'm gave spankings 1.00

01:12:09.920 I'm trying to think of what else

01:12:11.400 If we got really left

01:12:12.920 Yeah she would be like

01:12:14.940 You know

01:12:15.480 I'm not coming to pick you up

01:12:16.640 And she'd have to walk home

01:12:17.500 I remember walking

01:12:18.140 Three four miles to get home

01:12:19.560 I remember walking

01:12:20.540 When I wanted to go somewhere

01:12:21.620 A lot of times

01:12:22.300 You know

01:12:22.620 Yeah

01:12:22.840 Or taking my bike

01:12:23.700 You know

01:12:24.280 I biked three four miles

01:12:25.680 My brother walked like 11 miles once

01:12:29.060 To the movie theater

01:12:29.880 You know

01:12:30.720 Which is insane I thought

01:12:31.880 And I think the girl didn't even show up 0.99

01:12:33.640 Oh

01:12:34.200 That is the

01:12:36.240 Because the whole way he was going

01:12:37.800 Especially back then

01:12:38.780 Yeah

01:12:39.200 Yeah

01:12:40.200 It's Louisiana

01:12:41.240 It's human

01:12:42.140 Oh yeah

01:12:42.620 That's that first 200 feet

01:12:43.960 It's a wet stomp

01:12:44.800 Sweaty

01:12:44.940 Oh he couldn't wait to get in that cool

01:12:47.180 Dark movie theater

01:12:49.540 Sitting next to his girl

01:12:50.660 Sitting next to his girl dude

01:12:52.540 Watch a little Point Break

01:12:54.840 Oh

01:12:55.520 Oh and you know

01:12:56.940 When he got in that movie theater

01:12:58.120 He was sweaty

01:12:58.780 He was chilly

01:12:59.400 I

01:13:00.420 I

01:13:00.740 I remember

01:13:01.700 A little bad friend

01:13:03.160 Still trying to make out with girls 1.00

01:13:05.180 At movies

01:13:05.940 Like when I

01:13:06.620 Dude yeah

01:13:07.540 My thing was I'd invite a girl 0.99

01:13:09.180 And

01:13:10.000 I would

01:13:11.520 Get there

01:13:13.340 And I would get there

01:13:15.020 I'd invite a girl when it was cold out 1.00

01:13:16.300 And I'd get there early

01:13:17.200 So I'd have to pay to go in

01:13:18.640 And then they'd have to pay to go in

01:13:20.280 For themselves

01:13:20.840 You know

01:13:21.480 Oh you weren't

01:13:22.120 You were going Dutch 1.00

01:13:23.000 Nah

01:13:23.440 I don't know if I

01:13:24.320 I don't know if I was Dutch or not

01:13:25.460 But

01:13:25.580 I paid and I

01:13:27.220 I hope that they would pay

01:13:28.160 You got in there

01:13:29.320 You're like

01:13:29.540 Oh yeah I waited for you

01:13:30.480 Yeah

01:13:30.740 Yeah yeah yeah

01:13:31.340 It was so cold out

01:13:32.560 I also didn't have money to pay for

01:13:34.280 You need to sit there

01:13:34.440 My first girlfriend looked like a boy anyway bro 0.99

01:13:36.980 What was his name

01:13:37.920 Her name was Susanna

01:13:39.720 And

01:13:40.520 She's very beautiful

01:13:41.780 Adult woman

01:13:42.600 But at the time

01:13:43.560 She had a very kind of a masculine energy

01:13:45.440 As a child

01:13:46.120 And

01:13:47.480 Was she your first girlfriend

01:13:48.440 Yeah

01:13:49.900 I think she was

01:13:50.880 She used to lift me up 1.00

01:13:52.420 Like I would kiss her

01:13:53.200 And she would lift me up 1.00

01:13:54.320 At the fucking bus stop 0.99

01:13:55.300 And like 1.00

01:13:55.660 Put my legs around her waist 1.00

01:13:56.860 Like some dirty dancing shit 1.00

01:13:58.060 I mean 1.00

01:13:58.160 It was like

01:13:58.740 I was

01:14:00.540 She was taller than me

01:14:01.520 She was older than me

01:14:02.780 Oh really

01:14:03.400 She would literally lift me up 1.00

01:14:04.720 And put my legs around her waist 0.98

01:14:06.880 Yo

01:14:07.940 And like

01:14:08.340 And the guys on the bus would show up 0.98

01:14:10.180 And they were all losers 0.97

01:14:11.020 None of them had any girlfriends 0.99

01:14:12.400 You know

01:14:13.000 And they'd be like 1.00

01:14:13.780 Look at this fag 1.00

01:14:15.240 You know 1.00

01:14:15.780 I'd be like

01:14:17.240 What are you talking about

01:14:18.500 It was bad though

01:14:20.820 She had you in a little baby Bjorn 0.99

01:14:23.560 Facing forward

01:14:29.820 Yeah

01:14:31.520 Yo

01:14:33.940 When I was real young

01:14:35.840 This girl

01:14:36.840 I must have been in sixth grade

01:14:37.800 This girl convinced me

01:14:38.980 Her name was Stephanie

01:14:39.700 And

01:14:40.040 She was like

01:14:41.460 Cause I didn't know

01:14:42.500 What you were supposed to do

01:14:43.620 With girls

01:14:44.180 And I remember kissing her and stuff

01:14:45.360 And she was like

01:14:45.840 Tomorrow night you can go up my shirt

01:14:47.000 But the back

01:14:48.680 And it was still skin

01:14:50.100 You know

01:14:50.460 Oh yeah

01:14:51.640 So when I would go up

01:14:52.400 The back of her shirt dude

01:14:53.160 She would make her little

01:14:54.540 The spine baby

01:14:55.620 She would make the

01:14:56.380 What are those

01:14:56.740 Your shoulder blades

01:14:57.660 Yeah 0.88

01:14:58.140 She would stick them out

01:14:58.980 So I could feel them

01:14:59.860 Ooh

01:15:00.460 Yeah man

01:15:01.460 So I was like

01:15:02.300 I remember my brother being like 0.96

01:15:03.580 Bat tits 0.99

01:15:04.240 That's what I told my brother 0.99

01:15:05.540 I said back boobs 1.00

01:15:06.440 And he goes 0.96

01:15:06.720 That's not a thing

01:15:07.380 I go

01:15:07.680 It's the part

01:15:08.820 He was like 1.00

01:15:09.240 You have them too stupid 1.00

01:15:10.460 Like 1.00

01:15:10.720 Yeah but they're not

01:15:11.560 They're not hers 0.93

01:15:12.360 They're not on Stephanie

01:15:13.280 Yeah dude

01:15:14.140 I would go up there 0.99

01:15:15.160 And squeeze those back boobs 1.00

01:15:16.680 Oh dude 0.98

01:15:17.420 I remember yeah

01:15:18.480 This girl that I dated

01:15:19.460 She wore a bra

01:15:20.020 She didn't even need a bra

01:15:20.980 And she wore one

01:15:21.800 And oh man

01:15:23.280 I just remember being

01:15:24.240 In heat you know

01:15:25.900 How psyched were you

01:15:27.040 That she had a bra

01:15:27.900 Not even the boobies

01:15:29.120 Just the bra man 0.98

01:15:30.900 I

01:15:31.480 Oh

01:15:32.140 What am I even doing

01:15:33.480 Around this

01:15:34.440 And she was rich bro

01:15:37.020 And we were so poor

01:15:37.660 I was so embarrassed man

01:15:39.060 Sometimes my mom

01:15:39.760 Would have to take us

01:15:40.340 To the movies

01:15:40.780 And mom had like 0.99

01:15:41.480 The smallest car

01:15:43.660 It was like

01:15:44.020 She had a Ford Festiva

01:15:45.520 Bring that bad cat up 0.94

01:15:46.980 Yo

01:15:48.460 This thing

01:15:49.420 And they had like

01:15:50.600 Mercedes or something

01:15:52.140 And they were like

01:15:53.240 What color was your Ford Festiva

01:15:55.020 Let me see

01:15:55.480 Oh that was it

01:15:55.980 Right there

01:15:56.420 Boom

01:15:56.720 Right there

01:15:57.260 That was it

01:15:58.620 That was mom's car dude

01:16:00.360 Now let me ask you

01:16:00.840 That was a gray one

01:16:01.380 The gray one

01:16:01.800 Automatic or manual

01:16:03.180 It was automatic

01:16:04.840 Manual

01:16:05.520 I do miss the manual

01:16:07.220 I do miss the

01:16:08.280 And was it four on the floor

01:16:09.500 Like down here

01:16:10.380 Yeah I was on the floor too

01:16:12.220 So it was five

01:16:12.880 Dude I was so embarrassed

01:16:13.660 To be in there

01:16:14.260 Yo we didn't have a car

01:16:18.260 Oh

01:16:18.720 And

01:16:19.200 That thing ran on my tears

01:16:20.440 I felt like

01:16:21.040 And I feel bad man

01:16:25.360 My mom was just trying 0.83

01:16:26.680 To be a mom

01:16:27.400 But

01:16:27.620 Yeah no I get it man

01:16:28.660 I had no

01:16:29.240 I was just

01:16:29.940 I love how it says

01:16:30.880 Pristine

01:16:31.640 1993 Ford Festiva

01:16:33.680 Somebody said 1.00

01:16:34.440 Damn that bitch 1.00

01:16:35.440 That's sharp 1.00

01:16:36.920 You could drive

01:16:38.140 That's a suppository dude 1.00

01:16:39.860 You could fill that thing

01:16:40.840 With Xanax 1.00

01:16:41.500 And drive it into your butt 1.00

01:16:42.640 That thing is intense man 1.00

01:16:47.380 Yo how much do you think

01:16:48.480 Let's make a guess

01:16:49.220 Price is right rules

01:16:50.860 How much is a 1993

01:16:52.380 Pristine Ford Festiva

01:16:54.320 Going for

01:16:54.800 I'm gonna say

01:16:55.920 Right now

01:16:56.740 In today's market

01:16:57.760 I'm gonna say

01:16:58.600 7,000

01:16:59.440 Whoa I think you're

01:17:00.800 Overshooting that

01:17:01.580 I'm gonna say

01:17:03.520 You might be right

01:17:05.100 I'm gonna say

01:17:05.960 30

01:17:06.880 42

01:17:07.760 50

01:17:08.080 No

01:17:08.280 3750

01:17:09.080 49.99

01:17:11.880 That's

01:17:12.260 Okay

01:17:12.620 That's not for the car

01:17:14.260 Are you looking

01:17:15.860 In the car part

01:17:16.640 That actually

01:17:19.000 I mean

01:17:19.300 Doesn't seem

01:17:19.900 Too far off

01:17:20.940 They have so many

01:17:22.300 Dope

01:17:23.780 Older pickup trucks

01:17:25.800 In Nashville

01:17:26.580 Oh yeah

01:17:26.980 Around this area

01:17:28.100 I started looking at them

01:17:29.180 I started thinking about

01:17:30.540 I ended up getting

01:17:32.400 A Ford Ranger

01:17:33.080 That's what I got

01:17:33.560 I saw that

01:17:34.140 I ended up getting

01:17:34.740 A Ford Ranger

01:17:35.140 But I thought about

01:17:35.640 Getting

01:17:35.900 I thought about

01:17:37.380 Maybe trying to get

01:17:37.900 One of those Tesla

01:17:38.600 Trucks when it comes out

01:17:39.740 Those things look

01:17:40.720 Amazing man

01:17:41.700 Have you seen

01:17:42.300 The Rivian truck

01:17:43.260 Uh uh

01:17:43.700 Oh you gotta see

01:17:44.660 Who makes that

01:17:45.440 I'm not sure

01:17:47.260 Can you

01:17:48.080 Sorry

01:17:50.200 I'm gonna get you

01:17:50.760 Doing a million things

01:17:51.620 Dude let me ask you

01:17:52.420 One more question

01:17:52.960 About your stand up

01:17:53.880 Because I'm

01:17:55.360 As I'm

01:17:57.460 Writing more and more

01:17:58.700 You write on stage

01:18:00.280 Or you write here

01:18:01.080 I write on stage

01:18:02.100 Yeah me too

01:18:02.600 And then I bring it off stage

01:18:03.760 And then I'll

01:18:04.320 Spruce it up

01:18:05.680 You know

01:18:06.100 Do you

01:18:06.660 When you write

01:18:07.760 On your computer

01:18:08.760 Do you find that

01:18:09.560 Your jokes are different

01:18:10.600 Than the ones

01:18:11.620 You come up with

01:18:12.240 On stage

01:18:12.840 You know when you're

01:18:14.220 Sprucing it up right

01:18:15.160 Yeah

01:18:16.000 I find whenever I write

01:18:18.120 Whenever I sit down

01:18:18.920 To write

01:18:19.300 I don't write jokes

01:18:20.780 The way I talk

01:18:21.780 So the

01:18:23.300 My best punchline

01:18:24.120 Is always come on stage

01:18:25.060 Because I'm

01:18:25.560 I'm writing the way I talk

01:18:27.240 Oh yeah

01:18:27.680 And then I'll record it

01:18:28.880 Then I'll record it

01:18:29.740 And then rewrite it down

01:18:30.800 Yeah

01:18:31.180 Oh got it

01:18:32.760 Got it

01:18:33.040 Got it

01:18:33.280 But yeah I find

01:18:33.840 The funny thing for me

01:18:34.640 I've had jokes

01:18:35.460 That I wrote

01:18:35.920 Like 10-12 years ago

01:18:37.400 That I've never tried

01:18:38.680 On stage

01:18:39.220 That I've always wanted to

01:18:40.240 And I'm still afraid

01:18:41.140 To try them sometimes

01:18:42.140 So Theo

01:18:42.780 This special

01:18:44.360 That I'm doing

01:18:44.880 On March 4th

01:18:45.780 I found my very first

01:18:47.960 Comedy CD

01:18:48.560 And I was like

01:18:50.580 Let me just listen to this

01:18:51.760 I made like 20 of them

01:18:52.880 And I thought

01:18:54.200 There's a bunch of

01:18:54.740 Good premises here

01:18:56.080 But I'm going to

01:18:57.320 Rewrite every joke

01:18:58.440 And redo it

01:18:59.820 Really

01:19:00.320 So I didn't punch them up

01:19:01.900 I rewrote every joke

01:19:03.300 Under the microscope

01:19:04.980 Of who I am now

01:19:06.040 Right

01:19:06.380 It was such a cool thing man

01:19:09.040 Because a lot of those jokes

01:19:11.340 You know when I listen

01:19:12.740 To old jokes

01:19:13.420 I would listen to the CD

01:19:14.580 And I was like

01:19:15.240 Oh that's a good joke

01:19:16.600 But I thought it was over

01:19:17.740 Like if I got a laugh

01:19:18.880 I was like

01:19:19.240 Okay now I can move on

01:19:20.400 Yeah

01:19:20.680 As a younger comic

01:19:21.540 You're like

01:19:21.820 Well I don't need to dig

01:19:22.680 Or you know

01:19:23.200 And I just found

01:19:24.440 There was so much more

01:19:25.460 So this

01:19:26.380 The March 4th special

01:19:28.260 That I'm doing

01:19:28.720 Is like the one

01:19:30.160 I'm most excited about

01:19:31.360 That I've ever done

01:19:32.000 Because

01:19:32.320 It's

01:19:33.680 It's

01:19:34.060 I've never done this before

01:19:35.560 I've never rewritten

01:19:36.480 An entire

01:19:37.380 Hour of material

01:19:39.060 Do you know what I mean?

01:19:40.460 Yeah totally

01:19:40.900 Under being a better

01:19:41.720 So it comes out when?

01:19:42.840 January 4th?

01:19:44.000 March 4th

01:19:45.120 Okay

01:19:45.480 It streams live

01:19:47.260 So I'm doing one take

01:19:48.360 Dang 0.87

01:19:49.380 One take

01:19:50.860 I'm streaming it live

01:19:51.840 Wow

01:19:53.020 Yeah yeah yeah

01:19:54.020 But you know what man? 1.00

01:19:55.220 I love that shit 1.00

01:19:56.040 So I like 1.00

01:19:56.880 Kind of that

01:19:57.760 Fight or flight

01:19:58.440 Feeling

01:19:59.280 And so that really

01:20:00.780 Will give it to me

01:20:01.600 Dang bro

01:20:02.700 That's ballsy

01:20:03.540 And where are you guys

01:20:04.320 Going to film it from?

01:20:05.060 Here

01:20:05.220 Wow

01:20:06.540 That's awesome

01:20:07.600 Congrats dude 0.62

01:20:08.420 Thanks man

01:20:08.900 And yeah you can get

01:20:09.880 The tickets on my website

01:20:10.760 Comedianjoshwolf.com

01:20:12.160 And will it be up

01:20:13.040 Online after or no?

01:20:14.540 Yeah but we're going to

01:20:15.400 Obviously we're going to

01:20:16.240 Wait a little bit

01:20:17.180 Because we want people to

01:20:18.400 Right

01:20:19.080 Here's what I really want

01:20:20.320 Man I'm trying to

01:20:22.420 Show

01:20:22.900 Hopefully

01:20:24.060 This is going to be good

01:20:25.680 For all of us

01:20:26.460 Because hopefully

01:20:27.500 We don't need

01:20:29.860 HBO

01:20:30.480 Or Netflix

01:20:31.560 If we put this up man

01:20:33.020 And me with my reach

01:20:35.140 I sell a certain amount

01:20:36.280 Of tickets

01:20:36.720 And I say to you

01:20:37.640 I go Theo

01:20:38.060 We may not need

01:20:38.840 Netflix man

01:20:39.440 I sold this amount

01:20:41.440 Of tickets

01:20:41.920 Lord knows what you

01:20:43.220 Could sell

01:20:43.740 Yeah

01:20:44.360 And then you own it

01:20:45.640 Do you know what I mean

01:20:46.840 Like

01:20:47.080 Right

01:20:47.560 So you're still making

01:20:49.440 The paycheck

01:20:50.660 That Netflix is going to

01:20:51.600 Give you

01:20:51.960 Right

01:20:52.280 But you get everything

01:20:53.780 Else on top of that

01:20:55.440 And you know the special

01:20:57.220 Is going out to the people

01:20:58.100 Who want to see it

01:20:58.760 Because it's your people

01:20:59.840 Right

01:21:00.360 It's

01:21:00.840 So I'm really

01:21:01.800 Trying to

01:21:03.580 Not upset the apple cart

01:21:04.920 Altogether

01:21:05.620 Yeah

01:21:06.020 But a good amount

01:21:08.320 Of tickets sold

01:21:09.040 Will change the business

01:21:10.360 It could change the business

01:21:11.300 For all of us

01:21:11.620 Oh yeah

01:21:11.980 You know what I mean

01:21:12.640 Look I love that

01:21:13.480 I love the idea

01:21:14.180 Of trying it different

01:21:15.100 Trying something new

01:21:16.200 Trying

01:21:16.640 You know

01:21:17.680 To put the power

01:21:19.180 Back in the hands of people 0.85

01:21:20.260 You know

01:21:20.640 It's crazy

01:21:21.280 It's like

01:21:21.780 Yeah it's crazy

01:21:23.660 How much power

01:21:24.660 That a lot of

01:21:25.780 These companies

01:21:27.780 And they can flag you

01:21:29.000 They can take stuff down

01:21:30.100 They can limit you

01:21:31.220 They can not give you

01:21:32.360 Opportunities

01:21:33.140 It's just crazy

01:21:34.020 To think that

01:21:34.860 Especially since

01:21:37.880 A lot of the media

01:21:38.980 Is just extremely liberal

01:21:40.320 Which is fine

01:21:41.300 But it's not fine

01:21:43.500 If that's the

01:21:44.320 If that's the judgment

01:21:46.120 Because there's

01:21:47.280 Going to become

01:21:47.720 Judgment with that

01:21:48.600 Yeah

01:21:48.780 And so there's

01:21:49.100 Going to come

01:21:49.420 Judgment against

01:21:50.340 Like certain types

01:21:51.720 Of comedians

01:21:52.400 It's like

01:21:52.820 It's like

01:21:53.280 Sometimes you could say

01:21:54.300 They're just letting

01:21:54.900 Through what they

01:21:55.460 Want to let through

01:21:56.740 You know

01:21:57.320 And so that could be

01:21:58.020 A little bit scary

01:21:58.820 Like nobody should be

01:22:00.060 Not have a chance

01:22:01.360 You know

01:22:02.000 Because the guy

01:22:02.700 At the finish line

01:22:03.640 Wants to move

01:22:04.800 The finish line

01:22:05.620 Or make it only

01:22:06.320 For certain people

01:22:07.200 That's crazy

01:22:08.160 Right

01:22:08.520 And I'm not saying

01:22:09.320 That really applies here

01:22:10.280 But it's really

01:22:11.820 Kind of like

01:22:12.620 What it feels like

01:22:13.440 Sometimes like

01:22:13.840 Hollywood has become

01:22:14.640 You know

01:22:15.220 I think

01:22:15.800 There's no doubt

01:22:17.120 I think that

01:22:18.420 You know

01:22:19.580 My content

01:22:21.020 Has always been

01:22:22.280 More geared

01:22:23.080 Towards the middle

01:22:23.600 Of the country

01:22:24.120 Than it has

01:22:24.840 Like my

01:22:26.360 Worst room

01:22:27.320 To perform

01:22:27.800 In the country

01:22:28.280 For me

01:22:28.820 Consistently

01:22:29.940 Is that main room

01:22:30.760 At the comedy store

01:22:31.700 Yeah

01:22:32.100 Easily my hardest room

01:22:33.540 My toughest room

01:22:35.080 I'm not

01:22:36.740 And never have been

01:22:37.620 Really one of the

01:22:38.160 Cool kids

01:22:38.700 Do you know

01:22:39.480 What I mean

01:22:39.740 And it's a cool

01:22:40.460 That's a cool room

01:22:41.580 And the people

01:22:42.360 Come down there

01:22:43.120 Are there to see

01:22:43.900 The cool kids

01:22:44.580 And I feel like

01:22:45.800 My humor is just

01:22:46.740 A little broader

01:22:47.380 My stories are

01:22:48.180 A little broader

01:22:48.880 You know what I mean

01:22:49.620 They're relatable

01:22:50.540 To a large

01:22:51.480 Group of people

01:22:53.080 But not so much

01:22:54.180 On the coasts

01:22:55.240 And there's been

01:22:55.820 Harder rooms for me

01:22:56.920 You know

01:22:58.080 I'm trying to think

01:22:58.800 Of what my hardest

01:22:59.480 Room has probably been

01:23:00.680 You know

01:23:02.100 Where I've always

01:23:02.620 Had a tough time

01:23:03.560 Man

01:23:03.860 I feel like

01:23:04.900 Is in

01:23:05.820 Minneapolis

01:23:06.860 Well that

01:23:08.000 The house of comedy

01:23:09.060 Yeah

01:23:09.640 Those ceilings

01:23:10.580 Are thousands

01:23:11.660 Of feet high

01:23:12.320 That's insane

01:23:13.280 Yo

01:23:13.900 So

01:23:14.760 Those

01:23:15.600 Ceilings

01:23:16.960 Okay this helps a little

01:23:17.560 Because literally 0.97

01:23:18.740 I tried to fucking 0.97

01:23:19.720 Jump off that thing 0.98

01:23:20.800 I landed on a bounce

01:23:21.740 Yeah

01:23:22.060 There's so much

01:23:23.620 Going on in that mall

01:23:24.620 Yeah

01:23:25.140 It's on the 17th floor

01:23:26.880 Yeah

01:23:27.320 There are penguins

01:23:28.400 In that mall bro

01:23:29.140 Oh dude

01:23:29.380 It's insane

01:23:30.020 There's a gun

01:23:30.560 There's a

01:23:31.140 There's a gun range

01:23:32.500 Next to the weed store

01:23:33.880 Yeah

01:23:34.160 I bought weed

01:23:35.440 And then I went

01:23:36.380 And shot guns

01:23:37.180 Yeah

01:23:37.460 Puff puff

01:23:38.020 Puff

01:23:38.260 There

01:23:38.860 There

01:23:39.260 There is

01:23:40.240 And there's that

01:23:41.120 Water slide

01:23:41.820 In the mall

01:23:42.520 Where you can

01:23:43.080 When you can smell

01:23:44.260 The herpes

01:23:44.720 And that

01:23:45.020 That place is like

01:23:45.940 You can't go to

01:23:46.680 A water slide

01:23:47.340 In a mall

01:23:48.580 Unless you want

01:23:49.900 Every disease

01:23:51.100 Like you

01:23:52.040 Yeah

01:23:52.360 You gotta cover your eyes

01:23:53.300 Let's get it on

01:23:53.840 Yeah let's get in there man

01:23:54.920 Mouth open

01:23:55.880 Let's get into that

01:23:56.840 Yeah your daughter's

01:23:58.020 Pregnant but she's only

01:23:59.080 Been on the water slide

01:24:00.060 Yeah

01:24:00.820 Your dad's like

01:24:03.680 Where have you been

01:24:04.280 She's like water slide 1.00

01:24:05.500 Like who's that 0.99

01:24:06.580 A black guy 0.98

01:24:07.260 Like no 0.98

01:24:08.080 That's a

01:24:08.540 That's a mall

01:24:09.560 Yeah they got a

01:24:11.280 Ice skating rink in there man

01:24:13.340 They got a little bit

01:24:14.560 Of everything

01:24:15.060 Yeah yeah

01:24:15.560 I can't believe

01:24:16.320 You hadn't seen that video

01:24:17.200 Of that kid

01:24:17.880 With the remote control

01:24:18.740 Well here's why

01:24:19.580 It seemed fake to me

01:24:20.460 Because the brother

01:24:21.980 Runs in there

01:24:22.880 Sets it up

01:24:23.700 And then the kid comes in

01:24:24.900 It's just

01:24:25.280 It's the exact way

01:24:26.480 You would do something

01:24:27.280 That was fake

01:24:27.880 The only

01:24:28.460 And I

01:24:28.980 That was my first

01:24:29.820 Anything too

01:24:30.340 Except the kid

01:24:31.920 I just don't buy

01:24:33.560 That you

01:24:34.020 Like

01:24:34.480 I have kids

01:24:36.100 I just don't buy 0.87

01:24:37.760 You go that mental

01:24:39.280 But do you feel like

01:24:40.560 I feel like he's always

01:24:41.240 Playing to the camera

01:24:42.780 I feel like a little bit

01:24:43.900 Like he's playing to the camera

01:24:44.920 Maybe

01:24:45.020 But also

01:24:45.640 I'm a naysayer

01:24:46.660 So I would say that

01:24:48.780 I would say what I just said 0.99

01:24:50.260 And I love weird shit 0.99

01:24:52.240 So I'm just gonna believe it 0.96

01:24:53.440 Yeah

01:24:53.740 Yeah you're right

01:24:54.460 You know what I mean

01:24:54.900 It is a lot more fun

01:24:56.080 It's more fun for me

01:24:56.680 Just to believe

01:24:57.280 That that kid

01:24:57.900 You know

01:24:58.260 I love the fact

01:24:59.100 At the end

01:24:59.560 The guy tries to put 0.99

01:25:00.240 The remote into his butt 0.99

01:25:01.180 Because it's like 0.99

01:25:02.060 Him saying

01:25:03.680 You know what 0.99

01:25:04.160 I'm gonna fucking show them 0.97

01:25:05.480 I'm gonna put something 1.00

01:25:06.840 In my own ass 1.00

01:25:07.560 Yeah yeah yeah 1.00

01:25:08.200 You know

01:25:08.460 That's how much

01:25:08.960 Which is a lot

01:25:09.480 I think a lot of gay young men

01:25:10.960 Feel that way too

01:25:11.620 It's like okay

01:25:12.220 This neighborhood has wronged me

01:25:13.660 This community hasn't accepted me

01:25:15.240 I'll show them

01:25:16.240 I'm gonna put something 1.00

01:25:17.100 In my ass 1.00

01:25:17.580 I'm gonna go sit on that 1.00

01:25:18.480 Long jockey

01:25:19.100 Yeah yeah

01:25:19.760 Something like

01:25:20.400 It's just

01:25:20.980 I'm gonna 0.97

01:25:21.380 I'm gonna fucking own

01:25:22.720 I'm gonna control something 0.94

01:25:24.160 You know

01:25:24.660 I'm gonna put

01:25:25.720 Direct TV 0.99

01:25:26.440 Right in my damn record 0.99

01:25:27.520 You know 0.99

01:25:28.860 I'm gonna freaking

01:25:30.720 Yeah

01:25:31.280 I am going

01:25:35.520 I'm gonna watch

01:25:38.740 F is for family 1.00

01:25:39.720 On my damn kidneys 0.99

01:25:41.380 I gotta tell you something though 1.00

01:25:42.860 If that dude 0.56

01:25:43.540 Could control

01:25:44.480 The remote control

01:25:45.280 Inside of his 0.70

01:25:46.320 Butt cheeks

01:25:47.200 Now we're talking viral

01:25:48.740 Yeah if he could

01:25:49.620 Like pick channels and stuff

01:25:51.000 Yeah

01:25:51.600 That would be pretty impressive

01:25:52.920 This dude

01:25:54.300 Vincent Jackson

01:25:54.880 Wait man

01:25:55.380 He had

01:25:56.220 Been DMing me

01:25:57.960 Which is crazy

01:25:59.820 Really

01:26:00.380 I feel like

01:26:01.820 He'd been DMing

01:26:02.420 A lot of people

01:26:02.960 Yeah he would just

01:26:03.740 Kind of communicate

01:26:04.760 And he would send

01:26:07.900 A lot of stuff

01:26:09.000 That I felt like

01:26:09.840 Was kind of wild

01:26:11.160 Like links and things

01:26:13.200 You know

01:26:13.540 Like

01:26:14.880 Just crazy videos

01:26:16.880 Sometimes

01:26:17.160 Some of it was

01:26:17.720 A little bit too

01:26:18.500 It was almost like

01:26:19.480 Why

01:26:20.120 It was like

01:26:20.460 Somebody getting hurt

01:26:21.240 Or something

01:26:21.640 You know

01:26:21.980 Yeah I don't like those videos

01:26:22.800 So some of that

01:26:24.880 Sometimes I even

01:26:25.640 Said one time

01:26:26.400 I said I don't like

01:26:27.100 That kind of stuff

01:26:27.860 Yeah

01:26:29.220 But he seemed like

01:26:30.000 A nice guy

01:26:30.620 I mean I just messaged

01:26:31.660 With him a few times

01:26:32.580 But this is so sad

01:26:34.960 Man

01:26:35.140 Hillsborough County

01:26:35.740 Sheriff

01:26:36.780 Tampa Radio

01:26:38.660 Discussed the key

01:26:39.820 Findings

01:26:40.460 Autopsy

01:26:41.120 That Jackson was 0.67

01:26:41.800 Suffering from

01:26:42.220 Chronic alcoholism

01:26:43.500 Man

01:26:43.860 Let me ask you

01:26:44.760 Something man

01:26:45.220 Because I

01:26:45.820 For sure

01:26:46.480 I

01:26:48.460 Deal with my own

01:26:50.760 Depression stuff

01:26:51.480 You know

01:26:51.840 It seems like

01:26:53.580 So much of this

01:26:54.340 Like

01:26:54.640 The more I'm aware

01:26:56.160 Of it

01:26:56.480 When I read

01:26:57.120 You read it

01:26:57.860 You're like

01:26:58.140 This just all feels

01:26:59.400 Like

01:26:59.800 Part of mental illness 0.76

01:27:01.600 You know what I mean

01:27:02.340 Yeah

01:27:02.900 And like

01:27:04.340 Especially for guys

01:27:06.240 Like this

01:27:06.900 I'm sure it's harder

01:27:08.420 When you've been

01:27:09.600 Such an alpha

01:27:11.240 Masculine dude

01:27:12.520 Where your body

01:27:13.760 Is basically

01:27:14.320 That when your brain

01:27:15.500 Starts to betray you

01:27:16.620 That you just might

01:27:17.820 You must not want

01:27:18.760 To admit it

01:27:19.440 You know what I mean

01:27:19.940 Oh I'm sure

01:27:20.660 It's hard enough

01:27:21.440 Like I

01:27:21.880 Have had a hard enough time

01:27:23.660 And I'm not some

01:27:24.720 Alpha

01:27:25.300 Ultra masculine 0.99

01:27:26.360 Dude

01:27:27.560 But for these guys

01:27:29.160 To admit that their brain

01:27:30.140 Is betraying them

01:27:30.860 Must be the hardest

01:27:32.140 Step for them 0.99

01:27:33.080 You know

01:27:33.780 It's a good point man

01:27:34.660 I hadn't really

01:27:35.020 Thought about that

01:27:36.300 Yeah because it's

01:27:37.060 Total opposite of

01:27:38.060 Everything

01:27:38.400 Of like the weights

01:27:39.460 And the

01:27:39.960 Ability

01:27:40.820 And the

01:27:41.200 And push through it 1.00

01:27:42.060 All that shit 1.00

01:27:42.640 Yeah push through it 1.00

01:27:43.640 It's total opposite

01:27:44.620 Of everything that they've heard

01:27:45.760 Yeah I can't imagine man

01:27:47.540 And I think

01:27:47.960 Some of the come down

01:27:49.260 Of being like a hero

01:27:50.420 I mean this guy was

01:27:51.180 He was great at football

01:27:53.000 I thought he was still

01:27:54.640 I can't believe he

01:27:55.720 You know

01:27:56.680 I think it had been

01:27:57.360 Five years since he last played

01:27:58.520 Which I found was

01:27:59.220 Kind of amazing but

01:28:00.260 You know maybe

01:28:02.720 I wonder if he knew

01:28:03.540 That I had suffered

01:28:04.940 You know with

01:28:05.780 With drinking or drugs

01:28:08.020 And maybe that's why

01:28:08.900 He had reached out

01:28:09.520 To someone

01:28:09.740 I don't know

01:28:10.260 He never said anything

01:28:11.100 Like that

01:28:11.520 Yeah

01:28:11.740 I just found it

01:28:12.740 Kind of interesting

01:28:13.840 Maybe he was just a podcast fan

01:28:16.080 You know I don't know

01:28:17.000 But you know I do find

01:28:18.600 That like

01:28:19.060 Or podcast listeners

01:28:20.840 People do reach out though

01:28:22.560 You know

01:28:23.480 I talked a

01:28:24.700 Couple weeks ago

01:28:25.820 Or maybe a couple months ago

01:28:27.040 On

01:28:27.780 Fighter and the Kid

01:28:29.800 About my

01:28:30.320 Daughter

01:28:31.060 And her being in rehab

01:28:32.340 And all that stuff

01:28:33.260 And more people

01:28:35.140 Reached out

01:28:36.280 And I do find

01:28:39.120 That when

01:28:39.580 When

01:28:40.020 And I don't know

01:28:41.080 If it's part of being

01:28:41.620 In the program

01:28:42.120 Or part of being in recovery

01:28:43.420 Where you know

01:28:44.960 That the more people

01:28:45.780 That reach out

01:28:46.420 It almost makes that

01:28:47.560 Other person feel better

01:28:48.780 Do you know what I mean

01:28:49.300 Feeling less alone

01:28:50.680 I guess

01:28:51.260 Oh yeah

01:28:51.680 And so maybe

01:28:52.560 That's part of the thing

01:28:53.440 That he you know

01:28:54.220 He understood that

01:28:54.860 That's where you were

01:28:55.400 Coming from too

01:28:55.980 And it just made him

01:28:56.980 Feel less alone

01:28:57.760 Maybe 0.87

01:28:58.160 I don't fucking know 0.95

01:28:59.200 Yeah I don't know 0.98

01:29:00.420 I wish he'd have led

01:29:01.180 Some since

01:29:02.120 You know

01:29:02.480 I don't know

01:29:03.520 I mean yeah

01:29:03.940 Like

01:29:04.180 I'm sure he was

01:29:05.220 Communicating with a lot

01:29:06.120 Of different

01:29:06.380 You know

01:29:06.620 People

01:29:06.940 But he was just

01:29:07.620 I don't know

01:29:08.880 It's just sad to think

01:29:10.140 That a guy was at a

01:29:11.260 You know

01:29:11.840 That had checked

01:29:13.080 Into a hotel

01:29:13.640 And had been there

01:29:14.080 For almost a month

01:29:14.800 It seemed like

01:29:15.480 Or three weeks

01:29:16.300 And that he had

01:29:19.820 By the way

01:29:20.280 If you're in a hotel

01:29:20.920 For more than two weeks

01:29:22.160 Something's up

01:29:23.740 Yeah

01:29:24.000 More than two weeks

01:29:25.300 Yeah

01:29:25.620 In the same place

01:29:27.000 In Bradenton Florida

01:29:27.980 Yeah if you're in a hotel

01:29:29.160 For more than two weeks

01:29:30.680 I mean look at this guy

01:29:32.020 This dude is

01:29:32.500 Physical specimen

01:29:35.180 Apparently a really nice guy

01:29:36.740 I mean but also

01:29:37.760 How

01:29:38.060 The

01:29:38.960 The

01:29:39.320 Effect of alcoholism

01:29:40.840 If you look at it

01:29:41.560 Like

01:29:41.820 He just finished playing

01:29:43.460 Five

01:29:43.960 Five days ago

01:29:45.060 Days

01:29:46.000 Or five

01:29:46.640 Five years ago

01:29:47.720 Oh yeah yeah

01:29:48.080 Can you put any other information

01:29:49.240 Can you go to another article

01:29:50.280 Do you mind Sean

01:29:50.940 But did they say how he

01:29:52.820 Is it say anything else

01:29:54.380 Does it say how he died

01:29:55.880 Let me see

01:29:57.160 One of the victims

01:29:58.560 Was found dead

01:29:59.140 In a Florida hotel room

01:30:00.800 The 38

01:30:02.360 Housekeeper

01:30:04.540 Dude

01:30:05.040 You know those housekeepers 1.00

01:30:07.000 Anytime I've been high on drugs

01:30:08.600 Or whatever

01:30:08.940 That's the scariest thought

01:30:10.940 Is like that

01:30:11.340 That's who's gonna come in

01:30:12.240 And think about that

01:30:13.280 They're a mom

01:30:13.940 They're a person too

01:30:15.000 You know

01:30:15.300 It's not like they can just

01:30:17.200 Put you

01:30:17.860 You know

01:30:18.160 Sweep you up

01:30:18.920 And then you know

01:30:19.580 I mean they gotta probably

01:30:21.280 Like rope the room off now

01:30:22.980 Now they got one less room

01:30:24.440 They're

01:30:24.720 Being able to rent out

01:30:26.280 They've seen some

01:30:27.300 Housekeepers

01:30:27.860 Have seen some 1.00

01:30:28.880 Shit 1.00

01:30:30.080 Yeah 0.99

01:30:30.580 We need to get a good

01:30:31.440 Housekeeper on here Sean

01:30:32.400 Housekeeper

01:30:33.300 I always thought dude

01:30:34.840 A book I would read tomorrow

01:30:36.880 Is a book

01:30:38.120 Just from anonymous housekeepers

01:30:39.940 Talking about weird things

01:30:42.160 That they've walked in

01:30:42.980 And found in hotel rooms

01:30:44.040 Bro

01:30:44.220 I'll tell you one right here

01:30:45.620 And R.I.P. Vincent Jackson man

01:30:47.580 And just so sorry brother

01:30:49.560 Yeah I mean I just can't imagine

01:30:51.440 Him getting stuck inside

01:30:52.540 Of his own head

01:30:53.220 And thinking he probably

01:30:53.840 Couldn't say anything to anybody

01:30:54.800 But how fast you have to be

01:30:56.640 Drinking for alcoholism

01:30:58.340 To progress

01:30:58.960 When you just played football

01:31:00.300 Five years ago

01:31:01.000 I feel like

01:31:01.720 That's pretty quick

01:31:03.080 Yeah 1.00

01:31:04.560 Because to kill yourself 0.97

01:31:05.560 With alcohol

01:31:05.940 Usually takes quite a long time

01:31:08.160 Right

01:31:08.520 Maybe I mean

01:31:09.420 I mean

01:31:10.160 But I would just

01:31:11.160 I would speculate

01:31:11.840 He probably couldn't be drinking

01:31:12.740 As much during his career

01:31:14.080 Right

01:31:14.300 So that's what I'm saying

01:31:15.300 Like they had a kid

01:31:16.520 From my hometown

01:31:17.000 Who just died

01:31:17.840 This young fella

01:31:18.580 Named Court

01:31:19.260 Name after the play space

01:31:22.980 You know

01:31:23.360 Yeah

01:31:23.740 And he died

01:31:24.560 And he just drank himself

01:31:26.040 To death

01:31:26.480 I mean just crazy

01:31:27.780 And when I think about it

01:31:28.820 I'm like man

01:31:29.320 Yeah he was always drunk

01:31:31.140 Every time I saw him

01:31:31.960 Like

01:31:32.240 Yeah

01:31:33.740 That kind of stuff

01:31:34.500 Just doesn't end well man

01:31:35.660 And

01:31:35.880 I'll tell you this

01:31:37.500 So one time I had

01:31:38.980 I was doing

01:31:40.520 Comedy somewhere

01:31:41.680 And

01:31:42.740 A girl

01:31:43.760 That I've been

01:31:44.540 Seeing

01:31:45.120 Or some girl

01:31:45.720 I had just met

01:31:46.440 Or something

01:31:46.880 And I

01:31:48.360 And ended up

01:31:48.960 Sleeping in the same bed

01:31:50.440 Right

01:31:50.740 And I don't remember

01:31:51.560 If we

01:31:51.920 I'll probably remember

01:31:54.700 But I just don't

01:31:56.080 Either I'm not sharing

01:31:57.360 If we had sex

01:31:58.160 Or if we just made out 0.72

01:31:59.280 Or if she just slept over

01:32:00.160 I don't know

01:32:00.820 I don't know

01:32:02.040 And

01:32:02.220 But

01:32:03.780 In the morning

01:32:05.120 She had gotten her period

01:32:06.620 You know

01:32:07.220 While she was asleep

01:32:08.100 Menstrual cycle 0.59

01:32:09.060 I knew what you meant

01:32:10.880 So she left

01:32:11.900 Okay

01:32:12.120 Yeah

01:32:12.500 She left

01:32:13.800 Yeah I don't know

01:32:14.220 If you were

01:32:14.460 I don't even

01:32:15.980 Maybe she won a grammar contest 0.98

01:32:17.740 Or something

01:32:18.220 You know

01:32:18.520 Maybe she won a punctuation contest 1.00

01:32:20.780 Yeah

01:32:20.940 Maybe she was 0.99

01:32:22.340 Maybe punctuation Phil

01:32:23.900 Had seen his shadow

01:32:24.740 You know

01:32:25.280 Yeah

01:32:25.380 And it was gonna be

01:32:26.740 So she was celebrating

01:32:29.380 But

01:32:29.680 Anyway

01:32:31.240 So

01:32:31.840 I

01:32:33.220 I

01:32:33.500 I went to the

01:32:35.180 The

01:32:36.920 Cleaning lady

01:32:37.920 You know

01:32:38.600 And I noticed

01:32:39.160 Oh the sheets have blood on them

01:32:40.320 So I should probably say something

01:32:41.620 To clean lady 1.00

01:32:42.240 It's just not a nice surprise

01:32:43.380 Probably to get

01:32:43.820 So I went

01:32:44.740 And the lady didn't speak any English 1.00

01:32:46.100 And I didn't know what language she spoke

01:32:47.620 Because I hadn't

01:32:48.120 I hadn't really met anybody

01:32:49.360 That had spoken different languages

01:32:50.600 So

01:32:51.820 I'm literally like

01:32:53.560 And I was just like

01:32:57.960 Making a bed

01:32:58.700 Yeah

01:32:58.940 Like shape with my hands

01:32:59.860 And then I was like

01:33:00.660 Like

01:33:00.980 Like

01:33:02.560 Like

01:33:03.440 I didn't know how to like

01:33:04.760 I didn't know how to tell her

01:33:07.840 Yeah

01:33:08.180 Yeah

01:33:08.620 So I'm like

01:33:09.300 So that was pretty wild

01:33:15.320 Yeah

01:33:15.660 That was pretty wild

01:33:18.560 Dude

01:33:19.180 So here's a story

01:33:20.280 So

01:33:20.540 I heard this story

01:33:21.460 When I first started comedy

01:33:22.240 So

01:33:22.640 There was a guy

01:33:24.660 Who was a headliner

01:33:25.700 Right

01:33:26.060 And he said

01:33:27.080 Well

01:33:27.440 I was doing a show somewhere

01:33:29.580 I don't even know where

01:33:30.620 Maybe like Rochester

01:33:31.580 Or something

01:33:32.100 Or

01:33:32.360 Texas

01:33:33.180 And

01:33:34.620 He said

01:33:35.840 After the show

01:33:36.540 Some hot girl 0.76

01:33:37.500 Came like 1.00

01:33:38.060 Beeline for me

01:33:39.040 After the show

01:33:39.680 Because you know

01:33:40.420 Like at funny moments

01:33:41.100 If you do the show

01:33:41.820 Then you kind of go to the bar

01:33:43.080 Yeah

01:33:43.360 You know

01:33:43.900 And so you migrate

01:33:44.600 Especially when

01:33:45.220 Like you're just coming up

01:33:46.240 It's like

01:33:46.580 Where you go to like

01:33:47.380 Show your feathers

01:33:48.440 See

01:33:49.440 Sell some merch

01:33:50.680 See if there's any ladies 1.00

01:33:51.460 And you're at the bar

01:33:52.540 And you're pretending

01:33:53.980 You're like

01:33:54.560 Not noticing who's coming over

01:33:55.900 But you know

01:33:56.480 Oh you're heavily noticing

01:33:57.440 Yeah

01:33:57.720 And if nobody comes over

01:33:58.940 It hurts

01:33:59.560 A lot

01:34:00.080 So

01:34:00.960 Anyway

01:34:01.960 This guy says

01:34:02.680 I'm at this

01:34:03.180 I'm at this

01:34:03.660 This lady comes over 1.00

01:34:04.500 And she's like

01:34:04.860 Beelining for me

01:34:05.780 And she's like

01:34:06.140 Really hot

01:34:06.620 She's like

01:34:06.880 Really coming on to me

01:34:07.840 And immediately

01:34:09.060 She says

01:34:10.320 Let's go back to your hotel

01:34:11.740 She says

01:34:13.120 Let's go back to my place

01:34:14.120 And the guy's like

01:34:15.440 Man you know

01:34:16.060 He's thinking

01:34:16.680 I gotta leave in the morning

01:34:17.580 Or whatever

01:34:17.900 You know

01:34:18.400 Let's go back to my hotel

01:34:19.540 It's close

01:34:20.100 So they go back to his hotel

01:34:22.320 And

01:34:23.160 They're kind of kissing

01:34:24.480 And making out a little bit

01:34:25.500 And like

01:34:25.760 She's like all over him 0.99

01:34:26.900 And she's acting kind of crazy

01:34:28.180 And she keeps saying

01:34:28.940 Let's go

01:34:29.700 To my place

01:34:30.880 Let's go to my place

01:34:31.620 Have some drugs at my place

01:34:32.960 So

01:34:34.420 Finally

01:34:35.720 It gets too much

01:34:37.500 Like the lady's just being 1.00

01:34:38.700 Like way too crazy

01:34:39.960 And the guy just kicks her out 1.00

01:34:41.920 Says look 1.00

01:34:42.380 You gotta

01:34:42.620 You gotta leave

01:34:43.640 You know

01:34:44.060 Like this is just

01:34:44.880 I don't know what's going on

01:34:45.840 You gotta leave

01:34:46.420 So when she's leaving

01:34:48.260 Out of the hotel

01:34:49.020 She sees the feature

01:34:50.480 That was working there

01:34:51.760 Right

01:34:51.940 I guess he's coming in

01:34:52.940 You know

01:34:53.200 Doing whatever he's been doing

01:34:54.320 Eating hot dogs

01:34:55.200 So

01:34:56.320 She runs into him

01:34:58.080 She says

01:34:58.840 Hey

01:34:59.220 That guy just kicked me out

01:35:01.580 Do you want to come

01:35:02.780 Back to my place

01:35:03.600 And the feature's like

01:35:04.760 Yeah

01:35:05.220 You know

01:35:06.220 This is better than

01:35:07.060 The four hot dogs

01:35:08.100 I had to say

01:35:08.620 Right

01:35:09.020 So

01:35:10.780 Anyway

01:35:11.920 Next thing you know

01:35:12.880 They're in a taxi

01:35:13.700 They get dropped off

01:35:14.960 It's like about

01:35:15.480 A 15-20 minute drive

01:35:17.020 It's kind of like

01:35:17.540 Out into the burbs

01:35:18.620 You know

01:35:18.820 Out into the woods

01:35:19.540 They go into the house

01:35:22.260 They lay

01:35:24.800 They like

01:35:25.360 She like

01:35:26.060 Takes him into this room

01:35:26.960 Kind of takes his clothes

01:35:28.000 Off and stuff

01:35:28.800 And they do some pills

01:35:31.480 They do some type of a drug

01:35:32.700 Right

01:35:33.000 And then she like

01:35:34.480 Handcuffs him to the bed

01:35:35.780 And starts giving him 1.00

01:35:37.400 A blowjob 1.00

01:35:38.320 Well 1.00

01:35:39.680 She passes out 0.99

01:35:42.420 In the middle of the blowjob 0.99

01:35:44.680 No 0.99

01:35:45.200 So

01:35:47.240 He doesn't know what to do

01:35:48.600 He's handcuffed to the bed

01:35:50.140 Right

01:35:50.480 He's like

01:35:50.840 What am I even going to do

01:35:51.700 This is before a cell phone

01:35:52.740 So he's like 0.99

01:35:53.340 Holy shit 0.99

01:35:53.980 I don't know what to do 0.98

01:35:54.720 Like I can't even call 911

01:35:55.920 Some headlights

01:35:57.640 Come across the house

01:35:58.700 Like somebody pulling

01:35:59.460 Into the driveway

01:36:00.080 Oh no

01:36:01.280 So

01:36:02.480 He hears the front door open

01:36:04.940 A man comes 0.81

01:36:07.640 An older man comes 0.71

01:36:09.500 Looks in the room

01:36:10.460 Sees him there

01:36:12.000 Comes in

01:36:14.140 Picks the girl up 0.88

01:36:15.400 Takes her out of there

01:36:17.060 Then goes into the kitchen

01:36:19.100 Like makes himself

01:36:19.840 Something to eat

01:36:20.580 Right

01:36:20.880 The whole time

01:36:22.540 This dude's

01:36:23.020 Freaking the fuck out

01:36:24.640 Right 0.98

01:36:24.880 Losing his mind

01:36:25.760 He

01:36:27.100 Then the guy

01:36:28.420 Comes back into the room

01:36:30.220 And says

01:36:31.880 This is what he

01:36:32.820 This is what he said

01:36:33.440 He goes

01:36:33.780 That's my daughter

01:36:36.260 Right

01:36:36.740 Oh no no no

01:36:37.660 And

01:36:38.300 And

01:36:40.960 I never want you

01:36:42.900 To come over here again

01:36:43.880 Right

01:36:44.220 Then

01:36:45.720 Give the dude 1.00

01:36:46.920 A blowjob 1.00

01:36:47.900 Bruh 0.99

01:36:48.620 The guy did

01:36:49.280 The dad

01:36:49.900 Give the dude 1.00

01:36:51.260 A blowjob 1.00

01:36:52.160 Right there 1.00

01:36:52.680 On his penis 1.00

01:36:53.920 Bruh 1.00

01:36:54.540 And then

01:36:55.520 Then this is the crazy part

01:36:57.380 Took him

01:36:59.280 Drove him to a pay phone

01:37:00.380 And dropped him off

01:37:01.340 And the dude

01:37:02.020 Called the headliner

01:37:03.200 Said hey man

01:37:04.440 I need you to get in a taxi

01:37:05.820 Or something

01:37:06.220 And come get me

01:37:06.820 I need some help

01:37:07.460 And so he got in a taxi

01:37:09.240 To go get him

01:37:10.040 And that's where he was

01:37:11.080 And that's the story

01:37:12.080 He told him when he got in

01:37:13.080 Let me tell you something

01:37:14.040 First of all

01:37:14.620 I mean

01:37:16.140 That dude

01:37:17.300 Takes his job

01:37:18.080 As a parent

01:37:18.580 A little too seriously

01:37:19.460 You don't get to pick up

01:37:20.780 Where she's at

01:37:21.140 You know what I mean

01:37:21.640 It's not an IOU

01:37:23.380 Like you know 0.94

01:37:24.060 This is where you use a spanking 1.00

01:37:28.300 I mean

01:37:30.180 You don't have to pick up 1.00

01:37:31.500 The blowjob for your daughter 1.00

01:37:32.480 Bruh 1.00

01:37:32.820 Was he like

01:37:33.780 What were you doing 0.99

01:37:34.920 Blowjob 0.94

01:37:35.600 Alright

01:37:37.140 It seems like

01:37:38.780 You know what I mean

01:37:39.720 That's probably

01:37:40.360 Didn't need to

01:37:40.880 That's the gnarliest story

01:37:42.240 I've ever heard

01:37:43.200 Yeah but let me

01:37:43.860 And my second question is

01:37:45.620 Man

01:37:46.660 Why is this dude

01:37:48.480 Getting hard for dad

01:37:49.840 Like that seems like

01:37:51.180 It could have been out of fear

01:37:52.220 Fear hard

01:37:52.860 A fear hard

01:37:54.120 A fear boner

01:37:54.940 I think 0.98

01:37:55.720 Can you get erections out of fear 0.94

01:37:56.920 Will you look that up please Sean 0.84

01:37:58.020 I'm sure

01:37:58.680 Some people love that

01:37:59.940 Do you know that there's a whole

01:38:01.160 Porn site

01:38:03.680 Where people 1.00

01:38:04.860 Like to masturbate 0.99

01:38:06.500 But they use tears 0.99

01:38:08.080 As lubricant

01:38:08.680 Oh my god

01:38:09.540 That is like

01:38:10.240 To me

01:38:11.140 That's a different

01:38:13.260 Let's like

01:38:14.200 It's recycling

01:38:15.000 But it's too much

01:38:15.700 Yeah it is

01:38:16.900 I like it

01:38:17.700 It's environmentally

01:38:18.440 I like it

01:38:19.160 But like

01:38:19.760 Here we go

01:38:20.320 An individual who has a condition

01:38:21.460 Is a phallophobe

01:38:22.880 The term is derived from the word

01:38:24.160 Phallo in Greek

01:38:24.980 Meaning penance

01:38:25.780 And at times

01:38:26.460 Denoting masculinity

01:38:27.580 Dude

01:38:28.300 Couple with the suffix

01:38:29.640 Phobia

01:38:30.380 So you said penance

01:38:31.700 There was a guy

01:38:32.940 Who played baseball against us

01:38:34.520 When I was growing up

01:38:35.360 His last name was

01:38:35.980 P-E-N-N-I-S 1.00

01:38:37.400 Oh wow 0.95

01:38:37.940 Penance

01:38:38.700 But not in high school

01:38:40.160 Your name wasn't penance

01:38:41.120 No dude

01:38:41.780 No

01:38:42.240 It's a tough

01:38:45.220 Yeah man

01:38:46.360 I also had a kid

01:38:47.400 In my high school

01:38:47.920 Named Brian O'Brien

01:38:48.940 And when he used to

01:38:50.600 Walk down the hallway

01:38:51.220 We'd go

01:38:51.600 Brian

01:38:51.920 O'Brien

01:38:53.200 And he was like 1.00

01:38:54.580 Fuck you 1.00

01:38:55.180 And we'd go 1.00

01:38:55.600 Brian

01:38:56.300 O'Brien

01:38:57.620 We had a Neil McNeil

01:38:59.200 I was like

01:39:00.000 Your parents

01:39:00.560 Just like

01:39:01.060 Are not

01:39:01.580 They don't like you

01:39:02.900 Or like

01:39:03.680 Yeah that's too much

01:39:04.700 You can't

01:39:05.500 Name your kid

01:39:06.280 Neil McNeil

01:39:08.020 Yeah

01:39:08.280 Sometimes

01:39:08.740 Neil McNeil

01:39:09.700 Yeah that's too much

01:39:10.520 Danny Danny

01:39:11.320 We had a guy named

01:39:11.960 Danny Danny

01:39:12.680 In our town

01:39:13.320 We had

01:39:13.920 We had

01:39:14.700 A couple

01:39:16.320 Their names were

01:39:17.240 Jerry and Dolly Jolly

01:39:18.620 Oh yeah

01:39:20.000 But some families

01:39:21.480 They like that

01:39:22.140 Ronnie name

01:39:22.900 You know

01:39:23.520 Or they name all their kids

01:39:24.860 Like a J 1.00

01:39:25.440 Oh yeah we had one

01:39:26.520 We had Ronnie

01:39:27.420 Ronnie

01:39:28.480 Donnie

01:39:29.240 Johnny

01:39:29.880 Lonnie

01:39:30.800 And uh

01:39:32.120 Wait

01:39:32.360 Ronnie

01:39:33.020 Bonnie

01:39:33.540 No it was all men 0.72

01:39:35.600 Ronnie

01:39:36.200 Donnie

01:39:36.940 Lonnie

01:39:37.740 Johnny

01:39:38.460 And

01:39:40.240 Tommy

01:39:41.140 No it had

01:39:42.420 N-N-I-E 1.00

01:39:43.220 And it was not

01:39:44.760 Supposed to be

01:39:45.460 Oh yeah

01:39:46.120 Like a made up

01:39:46.860 Bronnie

01:39:47.420 Yeah

01:39:47.740 Something like that

01:39:48.120 Yeah like

01:39:48.480 Sonny

01:39:49.000 Yeah

01:39:49.340 Well you're like

01:39:51.020 That last one

01:39:51.800 You could tell

01:39:52.560 Who was born last

01:39:53.420 You're like

01:39:53.660 We ran at a

01:39:54.580 Yeah like

01:39:55.160 Oh that last one's a risk

01:39:56.300 You know when

01:39:57.040 You know I got grandkids

01:39:58.540 Right

01:39:58.720 And so when my oldest son

01:40:00.520 Was like

01:40:01.080 You have to pick

01:40:02.180 Your grandparent name 1.00

01:40:03.240 Damn you got grandkids 1.00

01:40:04.260 Bro 1.00

01:40:04.500 I got four grandkids

01:40:05.500 Bro

01:40:05.740 What

01:40:06.400 You didn't know that

01:40:08.140 We must protect

01:40:09.680 This house bro

01:40:10.520 I can't believe

01:40:10.840 You had four grandchildren

01:40:12.080 My oldest son

01:40:13.040 Is 28 man

01:40:13.800 You know

01:40:14.140 I didn't know that

01:40:15.300 You know he just

01:40:16.760 He had to

01:40:17.620 He got medically

01:40:18.340 He got med boarded

01:40:20.000 Out of the army

01:40:20.560 In December

01:40:21.380 Like he's just

01:40:22.080 Medically he can't

01:40:22.800 Do it anymore

01:40:23.360 And so

01:40:24.900 But he's been living

01:40:25.720 In Fort Hood

01:40:26.320 In Texas

01:40:26.800 He's moving here

01:40:28.040 Really

01:40:28.980 Yeah man

01:40:29.820 Yeah yeah yeah

01:40:30.660 So the grandkids

01:40:31.700 Will be here

01:40:32.120 He and his wife

01:40:33.820 Are divorced

01:40:34.340 So we'll see them some

01:40:35.840 But when he called

01:40:37.540 And I asked me

01:40:38.160 He was like man

01:40:38.980 What do you want

01:40:40.440 Your grandparent

01:40:41.080 Your grandfather

01:40:41.840 Name to be

01:40:42.260 I said can you

01:40:42.680 Give me to tomorrow

01:40:43.260 And he said yeah

01:40:43.880 Nice good call

01:40:44.780 So

01:40:45.480 Choose immediately

01:40:46.340 Well I need to

01:40:47.720 Think it out

01:40:48.240 You know

01:40:49.000 And so

01:40:49.940 Beth went with

01:40:51.120 Bebe

01:40:52.540 Oh that's cute

01:40:53.300 Both of us were like

01:40:54.180 If somebody calls me

01:40:55.540 Grandpa at the park

01:40:56.380 I'm not looking

01:40:57.220 Yeah

01:40:57.700 Like

01:40:58.300 Yeah

01:40:58.760 Do you know what I mean

01:40:59.680 Oh totally

01:41:00.300 I can't go with grandpa

01:41:01.460 Yeah

01:41:01.800 So

01:41:02.900 It's like if somebody 1.00

01:41:03.560 Yells faggot 1.00

01:41:04.460 Yeah 1.00

01:41:04.740 You just stay focused

01:41:06.200 You know what I'm saying bro

01:41:07.960 Don't turn

01:41:08.980 Just stay in your lane bro

01:41:10.720 It ain't about you

01:41:11.940 But when

01:41:12.660 So he

01:41:13.420 Okay

01:41:13.980 He calls the next day

01:41:15.880 And Beth goes

01:41:17.040 I'm gonna go with Bebe

01:41:18.240 That was my great grandmother's

01:41:19.660 Name

01:41:20.360 And obviously her name is Beth

01:41:22.000 And easy for the kids

01:41:22.860 To pronounce Bebe

01:41:23.500 So my son goes

01:41:25.400 What do you want

01:41:26.020 Your grandfather's name to be

01:41:28.160 And I said

01:41:28.600 LeBron

01:41:29.240 And he went

01:41:30.040 What

01:41:30.340 And I go

01:41:31.220 How cool

01:41:31.780 Is it to go to Bebe

01:41:32.920 In the bronze house

01:41:33.680 Yeah

01:41:34.360 Bebe in the bronze house

01:41:35.680 Sounds like a place

01:41:36.380 Sounds like a cartoon

01:41:37.040 Yeah I wanna be

01:41:38.000 And plus

01:41:38.820 I just wanted to be

01:41:40.080 At a park

01:41:40.640 And hear a kid go

01:41:42.080 LeBron

01:41:42.600 Because you know

01:41:44.480 Everybody's gonna be like

01:41:45.340 Get the

01:41:45.920 You know what I mean

01:41:47.320 And to have me run up

01:41:48.580 And so he said to me

01:41:50.120 He was like

01:41:50.680 You can't

01:41:51.300 I'm not letting you do that

01:41:52.440 I was like

01:41:52.860 And he asked me

01:41:54.240 He said

01:41:54.580 Is everything a joke with you

01:41:55.700 I was like

01:41:56.100 Yeah

01:41:56.940 Are you new

01:41:57.560 Like

01:41:57.900 You've been in this family

01:41:58.880 You thought I was gonna pick

01:42:00.980 Like Pawpaw 0.98

01:42:01.720 Or some shit like that 0.98

01:42:02.880 Like 0.98

01:42:03.220 What would be a secondary

01:42:04.600 When the JJ's kinda cute

01:42:06.160 I went Jojo

01:42:06.820 Jojo's good

01:42:07.600 We're Bebe and Jojo

01:42:08.460 Oh I like that

01:42:09.560 Yeah we're like an old

01:42:10.400 Jazz band

01:42:10.900 I was gonna die in a plane crash

01:42:11.860 Or somebody chokes on a sandwich

01:42:14.620 I feel like

01:42:15.260 Yeah

01:42:15.740 Yeah

01:42:16.400 It also kinda sounds like a sandwich

01:42:18.000 The Bebe and Jojo sandwich

01:42:19.380 Yeah

01:42:19.740 I like that

01:42:20.520 I like Bebe and Jojo

01:42:21.500 Do you see

01:42:22.200 What's the thing that happened in Texas

01:42:24.400 With that governor

01:42:25.180 Did you see that

01:42:25.980 The mayor wrote that note

01:42:27.200 Texas mayor tells residents

01:42:29.480 Can you zoom in

01:42:30.020 There you go

01:42:30.460 Thank you

01:42:31.300 Let me see

01:42:33.340 By Tuesday morning

01:42:34.740 The residents of Colorado City, Texas

01:42:36.560 Were getting anxious

01:42:37.320 More than 24 hours had passed

01:42:38.660 Since a deadly Arctic blast

01:42:40.100 Knocked out power across the state

01:42:41.580 Residents turned to a community Facebook group

01:42:43.940 To ask whether the small town

01:42:45.200 Plan to open warming shelters

01:42:46.620 While others wondered if

01:42:48.140 Firefighters could do their job without water

01:42:50.660 Colorado's mayor chimed in

01:42:52.720 Less than comforting message

01:42:55.620 He said

01:42:56.300 No one owes you or your family anything

01:42:58.060 Mayor Tim Boyd wrote

01:42:59.900 I'm sick and tired of people 1.00

01:43:00.960 Looking for a damn handout 1.00

01:43:02.180 What? 1.00

01:43:03.760 That the lazy residents

01:43:05.100 Find their own ways

01:43:05.960 Of procuring water and electricity

01:43:07.520 Immediately drew backlash

01:43:08.620 Later on Tuesday

01:43:09.480 Boyd announced his resignation

01:43:10.540 And admitted he could have

01:43:11.680 Used better word

01:43:12.420 How do you procure electricity?

01:43:15.640 Like what?

01:43:17.000 Right, okay

01:43:17.800 Highlight how one of the worst winter storms

01:43:20.100 In decades is testing the limits

01:43:21.520 Of the embrace of self-sufficiency

01:43:23.860 And rugged individualism in Texas

01:43:25.420 So it's a good question man

01:43:27.160 Like I don't know

01:43:28.020 You know I was thinking about this

01:43:29.800 The other day

01:43:30.340 John will you grab me an extra water

01:43:32.200 By chance you will?

01:43:33.280 Thanks man

01:43:33.860 How would you do survival?

01:43:37.300 Well I was thinking about this

01:43:37.940 The other day

01:43:38.320 So I'm talking to my friend

01:43:39.780 In Louisiana

01:43:40.640 And he said

01:43:41.120 Oh there's rolling blackouts

01:43:42.100 So some friends are coming over tonight

01:43:43.660 Because we have power tonight

01:43:44.860 Right

01:43:45.180 I said okay

01:43:46.040 That's interesting

01:43:46.780 So it made me think like

01:43:48.600 What if the power company

01:43:50.640 I'll take the death

01:43:51.280 So

01:43:52.940 Thanks brother

01:43:53.980 So what if the power company

01:43:55.400 Like

01:43:55.720 Like the power company

01:43:58.220 Is not a guarantee for

01:43:59.420 Like it's a

01:44:00.080 It's part of society

01:44:01.060 That we've gotten to

01:44:01.980 We're lucky enough

01:44:02.760 To have like this thing

01:44:03.760 The structure

01:44:04.400 You know

01:44:04.960 But yeah

01:44:05.920 Like what if it went out

01:44:07.140 Like

01:44:07.480 So I don't know

01:44:09.000 Where this mayor was coming from

01:44:09.960 I mean that's probably

01:44:10.580 Certainly not the best way

01:44:11.640 To word things

01:44:12.200 If you're the leader

01:44:12.800 But

01:44:13.500 I mean

01:44:14.540 If it's people sitting in a home

01:44:16.280 They're freezing to death

01:44:17.440 Yeah

01:44:17.700 And it's you know

01:44:18.500 At some point

01:44:19.540 You have to start a fire

01:44:20.660 For yourself

01:44:21.060 Or you have to go

01:44:21.980 To somebody's house

01:44:22.700 Like you have to also

01:44:23.640 Take action

01:44:24.460 True

01:44:24.900 But you don't want your leader

01:44:25.940 To be like every man

01:44:26.820 For himself

01:44:27.380 That's basically not the message

01:44:29.180 You know what I mean

01:44:29.900 But

01:44:30.800 That's a great point

01:44:31.540 You know

01:44:31.900 Your leader is supposed to be

01:44:33.080 Your leader

01:44:33.720 Let everybody else panic

01:44:34.860 But if you're panicking

01:44:36.160 It's

01:44:37.120 It's over

01:44:38.100 You know

01:44:38.420 But

01:44:39.340 It's one thing to tell people

01:44:40.800 To get water

01:44:41.480 Because there's snow outside

01:44:42.660 So you know

01:44:43.460 There's moisture

01:44:44.300 You can figure that out

01:44:45.320 Procure your own electricity

01:44:47.840 Look

01:44:48.500 I mean

01:44:49.740 I wouldn't even

01:44:50.480 First of all

01:44:51.760 I might have to google procure

01:44:52.960 I don't know exactly

01:44:54.400 What it means

01:44:55.000 I think I do

01:44:55.780 I think it's how you treat ham

01:44:57.380 Go back

01:44:58.140 Get that back open 0.97

01:44:59.000 Yeah

01:44:59.640 Go back to the

01:45:00.620 Yeah

01:45:00.980 At least 10 deaths in Texas

01:45:03.240 Have been linked to the winter storm

01:45:04.340 Since Monday

01:45:04.920 According to the Houston Chronicle

01:45:05.920 So yeah

01:45:06.780 I mean it's wild

01:45:07.560 I think

01:45:08.080 I think maybe this guy

01:45:09.560 Was probably just upset

01:45:10.640 About other stuff

01:45:11.680 And probably attached it to this

01:45:13.640 Yeah

01:45:13.960 But if you were going to

01:45:15.440 Procure your own electricity

01:45:16.760 What would be your first move

01:45:18.320 I'd probably get a generator

01:45:19.340 Gas power generator

01:45:20.480 Oh

01:45:20.800 Or

01:45:21.720 I would start burning stuff

01:45:23.560 I mean it's

01:45:25.400 That's one of the things

01:45:26.300 But you can't burn it outside

01:45:27.260 Because the

01:45:28.220 The storm is obviously gonna

01:45:30.240 Oh that's a good point

01:45:31.140 But you can't burn it inside either

01:45:33.000 Because of the gas

01:45:33.660 Yeah

01:45:33.840 Yeah

01:45:34.120 You know what I mean

01:45:34.960 So the heat

01:45:36.180 That's the thing that I

01:45:37.760 I don't know exactly

01:45:39.460 How people were doing it

01:45:40.500 Unless you had

01:45:41.340 The generator

01:45:42.360 Right

01:45:42.820 So yeah

01:45:43.640 I think that's a good point

01:45:44.460 So I guess maybe they're thinking

01:45:45.460 Yeah fine

01:45:46.040 Other people that have generators

01:45:47.060 It's also tough

01:45:48.860 With this kind of article

01:45:49.500 You don't know if people's

01:45:50.840 Cell phones are still working

01:45:52.000 Yeah

01:45:52.240 You don't know if the roads

01:45:53.440 Are able that people

01:45:54.340 Can drive on

01:45:55.320 I wish they knew

01:45:57.140 They would say

01:45:57.740 What set this man off

01:45:59.040 But yeah

01:45:59.640 If you're the leader

01:46:00.300 I think you probably

01:46:00.980 Gotta find a better way to lead

01:46:02.380 Yeah

01:46:02.780 You can't

01:46:03.340 You can't come out

01:46:04.140 And be like 1.00

01:46:04.540 Hey you pussies 1.00

01:46:05.360 Procure some electricity 1.00

01:46:08.900 I'm like

01:46:09.300 What

01:46:09.460 I don't even know

01:46:10.120 What that means man

01:46:11.080 I don't have any electricity

01:46:12.340 To Google procure

01:46:13.360 So you're gonna have to

01:46:14.900 Break it down for me

01:46:15.800 A little better

01:46:16.400 Yeah

01:46:16.720 But if you're in your house

01:46:17.760 Yelling for help

01:46:19.040 But you also have legs at work

01:46:20.760 It's like

01:46:21.220 Then that's on you also

01:46:23.300 But I think

01:46:24.240 One of the big issues

01:46:25.700 We have in America

01:46:26.740 Today

01:46:27.320 Theo

01:46:27.720 Is that people have

01:46:29.340 Forgotten that two things

01:46:31.360 Can be true at the same time

01:46:32.960 Yeah

01:46:33.300 Two things can be true

01:46:35.000 At the same time

01:46:35.700 You know whether you're

01:46:36.720 Talking about

01:46:37.380 This pandemic

01:46:38.680 Where two things can be true

01:46:40.400 At the same time

01:46:41.000 Do masks cure everything

01:46:42.420 Nah

01:46:42.760 They don't

01:46:43.880 You can still get it

01:46:44.880 If you have a mask

01:46:45.740 Yeah

01:46:46.020 But is it possible

01:46:47.860 That they help

01:46:48.380 Yeah

01:46:48.880 Right

01:46:50.300 So there's two things

01:46:51.180 People are saying

01:46:52.240 You're yelling at each other

01:46:53.360 And both of what you and I

01:46:54.420 Are saying

01:46:54.860 Are the same 0.85

01:46:55.840 Are true 0.82

01:46:56.560 You know what I mean

01:46:57.160 It's possible for two things

01:46:58.440 To be true

01:46:58.840 This also 0.98

01:46:59.920 Should you wait to die 0.91

01:47:02.400 No 0.99

01:47:03.040 But

01:47:03.900 Is it up to you

01:47:05.240 To procure electricity

01:47:06.640 Yeah

01:47:07.520 Probably not

01:47:08.180 Not at first

01:47:08.860 Yeah

01:47:09.040 Do you know what I mean

01:47:09.620 Like so

01:47:10.040 I think it's

01:47:10.800 That's the thing

01:47:11.820 Like

01:47:12.040 We've

01:47:13.680 We've lost the ability

01:47:15.180 To go

01:47:15.920 Yeah that can be true 0.97

01:47:16.660 What I'm saying

01:47:17.300 Is also true 1.00

01:47:17.900 But that can be true also

01:47:19.080 Yeah

01:47:19.420 There's no

01:47:20.000 There's no room

01:47:21.000 For two sets of

01:47:21.920 Truths

01:47:23.000 Right

01:47:23.200 Which most things

01:47:24.340 Have

01:47:25.060 Yeah

01:47:25.520 Most things have

01:47:26.940 Two sides

01:47:28.100 And most of the time

01:47:30.000 Both those sides

01:47:31.020 Have truth to them

01:47:31.820 Yeah

01:47:32.040 That's why people are so

01:47:33.720 It's so easy to

01:47:34.960 To pick a side now

01:47:35.940 Right

01:47:36.120 We're so tribal now

01:47:37.100 It's not that there aren't

01:47:38.920 We can't find facts

01:47:39.940 There are too many facts

01:47:41.040 Available

01:47:41.380 Yeah

01:47:41.800 So I can find a fact

01:47:43.140 That'll back up 0.97

01:47:43.820 Whatever the fuck 0.98

01:47:44.540 I want to tell you is true 0.99

01:47:45.520 I can find a fact

01:47:47.120 Online

01:47:47.800 An article

01:47:48.480 Online

01:47:49.440 A news site

01:47:50.220 Online

01:47:50.800 That'll back me up

01:47:51.960 You know what that does

01:47:52.540 That makes me seem smart 1.00

01:47:53.560 That gives me a fucking 1.00

01:47:54.780 Hill to stand on 1.00

01:47:55.680 So I never have to

01:47:56.740 Listen to you

01:47:57.300 Oh yeah

01:47:58.420 Do you know what I mean

01:47:59.020 I just saw it online

01:48:00.060 And everybody in your

01:48:01.700 Echo chamber

01:48:02.180 Says the same thing 0.99

01:48:02.860 So it must be true 0.77

01:48:03.640 But both

01:48:04.660 Two things can be true

01:48:05.640 At the same time

01:48:06.360 Yeah that's a good point

01:48:07.220 Man

01:48:07.460 Ability to see

01:48:08.300 They just had this

01:48:09.700 UFC girl that lost her job

01:48:10.960 Did you see this

01:48:11.600 This Karano girl

01:48:12.600 Yeah man

01:48:13.680 As a Jew

01:48:14.460 I think it's not good

01:48:15.820 Yeah

01:48:16.800 Did you have any thoughts

01:48:17.780 On it man

01:48:18.260 Look I think

01:48:19.100 The equivalent

01:48:20.180 Is a complete

01:48:21.380 False equivalency

01:48:22.440 Of what she's making here

01:48:24.080 A complete

01:48:25.400 False equivalency

01:48:27.740 The fact that

01:48:29.360 She has said some things

01:48:31.920 That upset people

01:48:33.020 And are going

01:48:34.560 And they're going

01:48:35.140 After her online

01:48:36.080 Is not even close

01:48:38.100 To what Jews 0.99

01:48:39.160 Had to deal with

01:48:40.640 In the 40s

01:48:41.820 In Germany

01:48:42.440 Oh yeah

01:48:43.100 It's not even

01:48:45.060 It's a

01:48:45.480 However

01:48:46.160 This is

01:48:49.360 We have to

01:48:50.700 Stop

01:48:51.720 Canceling people 0.74

01:48:54.020 For having

01:48:55.840 Different ideas

01:48:56.660 Than we have

01:48:57.240 Yeah

01:48:57.740 That's it

01:48:58.300 Even if their ideas

01:48:59.480 Are wrong

01:49:00.100 Even if their ideas

01:49:01.120 Are deemed wrong

01:49:02.020 Yeah it's like

01:49:02.480 It's gotten to this place

01:49:03.500 Where it's like

01:49:04.100 If somebody

01:49:05.600 Because then you end up

01:49:07.020 With a herd of people

01:49:07.840 Who will just never

01:49:08.640 Say anything

01:49:09.600 But they're angry

01:49:11.100 All the time

01:49:11.660 Right

01:49:11.920 And so

01:49:12.820 Nick Cannon to me

01:49:14.160 Was the best example

01:49:15.060 When I heard

01:49:16.660 What he said

01:49:17.320 I was like

01:49:18.040 Oh this dude

01:49:18.720 Just doesn't get it

01:49:20.180 He doesn't know

01:49:20.660 Yeah he's

01:49:21.160 Yeah he's just reading

01:49:22.260 Like some bad

01:49:22.860 He watched some bad

01:49:23.840 Malcolm X

01:49:25.200 He's regurgitating

01:49:26.580 Some false narratives

01:49:28.820 And I'm not saying

01:49:29.360 Malcolm X is bad

01:49:29.980 I'm saying he watched

01:49:30.720 Some outtake of Farrakhan

01:49:32.100 Or something like

01:49:32.700 There's some videos

01:49:33.640 That get passed around

01:49:34.360 Even by smart people

01:49:35.580 That I know

01:49:35.960 That I'm like

01:49:36.360 Are you seriously

01:49:37.760 Sharing this

01:49:39.040 Dude I could not

01:49:41.000 Agree with you more

01:49:42.140 There's one that goes around

01:49:42.580 It's like that

01:49:43.220 Oh white people 0.99

01:49:44.520 Are afraid if black people 1.00

01:49:45.480 Got in power 0.99

01:49:46.120 That they would treat

01:49:47.120 White people 0.90

01:49:48.300 Like they treated 0.99

01:49:49.360 Black people

01:49:49.880 And I'm like 0.99

01:49:50.280 This is insane

01:49:51.540 I haven't seen that one

01:49:52.480 Is that a Farrakhan one

01:49:53.440 Yeah I think it was

01:49:54.260 A Farrakhan one

01:49:54.760 But just some of the stuff

01:49:55.760 That like

01:49:56.220 I don't know

01:49:57.580 Just like

01:49:58.180 It's just so like

01:49:59.360 I don't know

01:50:00.740 I just

01:50:01.180 I can't believe

01:50:02.300 Some people would share

01:50:03.400 Some things that they share

01:50:04.500 You know

01:50:04.860 I just think

01:50:05.880 I think this seemed probably

01:50:06.740 First of all

01:50:07.580 Unnecessary

01:50:08.540 I think if you feel like

01:50:09.880 You can't be heard

01:50:11.320 Which I think you can't

01:50:12.600 If you have

01:50:13.040 If you have like

01:50:14.580 It's not even

01:50:15.920 If you're not like

01:50:17.460 Almost openly

01:50:19.060 Because they had that

01:50:19.720 Silence is violence thing

01:50:21.240 Yeah

01:50:21.380 Like during BLM

01:50:22.360 Like if you're not

01:50:23.020 Openly liberal

01:50:24.980 A lot of times

01:50:25.720 I feel like you definitely

01:50:26.780 Get stared at

01:50:28.000 For not making a lot

01:50:29.380 Of the same statements

01:50:30.280 You know

01:50:30.800 This

01:50:32.040 Here's the thing man

01:50:34.360 But like

01:50:34.980 We

01:50:36.380 We're making people

01:50:38.720 Scared

01:50:39.480 To speak

01:50:40.540 So you drive people

01:50:41.560 Underground

01:50:41.940 Yeah

01:50:42.540 And when you drive

01:50:43.240 People underground

01:50:43.920 What happens is

01:50:45.340 They get angrier

01:50:46.160 And angrier

01:50:46.920 And angrier

01:50:47.680 And angrier

01:50:48.420 And then it probably

01:50:49.140 Erupts in something like this

01:50:50.280 And then something happens

01:50:51.040 And then something happens

01:50:52.020 And for me like

01:50:53.240 Look Nick Cannon

01:50:54.980 Was the perfect example

01:50:56.320 When I read it

01:50:57.300 I'm like

01:50:57.540 This dude just needs to be

01:50:58.820 Take him to Auschwitz

01:51:00.080 Take him to the places

01:51:01.280 That can show him

01:51:03.000 Exactly

01:51:03.580 What he's not hearing

01:51:04.940 About this history

01:51:05.960 Right

01:51:06.320 And by the way

01:51:07.560 Somebody did

01:51:08.280 I think Julian Edelman

01:51:09.160 The dude from the

01:51:09.980 Patriots

01:51:10.860 Jew 0.95

01:51:11.220 I believe he's the one

01:51:12.800 Who took

01:51:13.220 Might have taken

01:51:14.100 Nick Cannon to Auschwitz

01:51:15.000 And sat down

01:51:15.900 Introduced him to some rabbis

01:51:17.580 And the rabbis were like

01:51:18.980 Here's the history of Jews

01:51:20.180 And Nick Cannon was like

01:51:20.960 Got it

01:51:21.560 Got it

01:51:23.120 Right

01:51:23.420 And

01:51:24.220 But we've stopped

01:51:25.400 Even allowing that

01:51:26.280 Julian Edelman

01:51:27.320 Goes at Nick Wright

01:51:28.180 On Twitter

01:51:28.700 No

01:51:29.080 We've stopped

01:51:29.900 Allowing there to be

01:51:32.000 I've always said

01:51:33.320 The number one way

01:51:34.000 You learn something

01:51:34.600 Is by someone

01:51:35.300 Really showing you

01:51:36.180 By hand

01:51:36.820 Yeah

01:51:37.100 And instead of like

01:51:38.880 People offering

01:51:39.760 To do that now

01:51:40.880 They

01:51:41.980 They take people's 0.99

01:51:44.680 Jobs away

01:51:45.480 They

01:51:45.920 Denounce them

01:51:47.640 They make them

01:51:48.580 I don't know

01:51:49.400 They like

01:51:49.800 I guess they cancel them

01:51:51.120 Like

01:51:51.320 I feel like

01:51:52.320 Yeah maybe it's better

01:51:53.160 If someone says

01:51:53.840 I think you don't

01:51:55.220 Understand some things

01:51:56.840 Dude some people

01:51:57.740 Are racist

01:51:58.580 And it's hard

01:51:59.940 To get through there

01:52:00.620 And some people

01:52:01.120 Are just 0.99

01:52:01.440 Ignorant to it 1.00

01:52:02.660 And ignorant 1.00

01:52:03.320 I don't mean that 0.97

01:52:04.040 In a 0.81

01:52:04.400 They're ignorant people 1.00

01:52:05.240 But they're ignorant 1.00

01:52:05.860 About this thing 0.97

01:52:06.580 Yes I don't mean that

01:52:07.440 In a negative way

01:52:08.360 Right so

01:52:08.820 To me

01:52:09.680 You know

01:52:11.880 Julian Edelman

01:52:12.580 Getting in there

01:52:13.280 With Nick Cannon

01:52:13.840 And Nick Cannon

01:52:14.400 Meeting with rabbis

01:52:15.300 That's education

01:52:16.580 Right

01:52:17.060 And so

01:52:17.460 What that does

01:52:18.400 Is when you cancel them

01:52:19.540 You make them angry 0.99

01:52:20.300 He hates Jews more 0.99

01:52:21.780 That's 1.00

01:52:22.960 It's their fault

01:52:23.680 I lost my job

01:52:24.640 Right

01:52:25.000 And he perpetuates it

01:52:26.220 And instead of that

01:52:27.400 It stops there

01:52:28.320 Hopefully

01:52:28.680 And so

01:52:29.480 And a guy

01:52:30.180 With a good

01:52:30.760 With a

01:52:31.320 Loud microphone

01:52:32.920 Can be like

01:52:33.580 Hey this is actually

01:52:34.340 The way it is now

01:52:35.220 Yeah

01:52:35.520 There's some people

01:52:36.440 I just don't think

01:52:37.400 You reach

01:52:37.900 And by the way

01:52:39.460 From Cool Hand Luke

01:52:40.140 Some people

01:52:40.660 You just can't reach

01:52:41.640 Oh yeah

01:52:42.040 So you

01:52:42.580 So you get

01:52:43.480 What you had here

01:52:44.360 Last week

01:52:44.960 Yeah

01:52:45.520 But

01:52:46.700 But I think man

01:52:48.020 That it's all about

01:52:49.540 Being able to sit down

01:52:50.640 And talk to people

01:52:51.500 Yeah

01:52:51.840 Because canceling people

01:52:52.780 Gets

01:52:53.080 It doesn't do anything

01:52:54.720 I think it's also

01:52:55.300 Losing some of its appeal

01:52:56.680 And it's making people

01:52:57.660 Really turn away

01:52:58.600 From a lot of Hollywood

01:52:59.480 It's like

01:53:00.040 So wait

01:53:00.980 These people just cancel

01:53:01.940 Anyone who

01:53:02.640 Like

01:53:03.640 And it's not in this instance

01:53:04.820 You know

01:53:05.240 I mean this is

01:53:05.800 I mean

01:53:06.160 You know

01:53:06.860 It's like

01:53:07.280 Some of this seems

01:53:08.160 Pretty intense

01:53:08.880 But she must have felt

01:53:09.980 For a long time

01:53:10.560 Like she can't say anything

01:53:12.020 Yeah

01:53:12.200 Or she can't speak

01:53:13.060 Look

01:53:14.300 I don't agree

01:53:15.120 With a lot of the things

01:53:16.100 That she's posted

01:53:16.780 And I don't think

01:53:17.600 Any of them

01:53:18.360 Mean that she

01:53:19.980 Should have been

01:53:20.500 Canceled off that show

01:53:21.600 Yeah

01:53:21.940 I just don't think

01:53:23.160 That that's the right

01:53:23.940 Message to send

01:53:24.680 Again

01:53:25.280 When you're pushing

01:53:26.040 A group of people

01:53:27.200 Underground

01:53:27.580 Because they think

01:53:29.100 Differently than you

01:53:29.940 That is dangerous

01:53:31.280 That's how you have

01:53:31.940 Uprisings

01:53:32.760 That's how you get

01:53:33.440 A bunch of angry people

01:53:34.820 Fighting back

01:53:36.020 Because whether it's

01:53:37.020 True or not

01:53:37.580 Look man

01:53:38.140 It's perception

01:53:38.840 Your perception

01:53:39.760 Of how things are

01:53:40.960 Is your reality

01:53:42.440 Right

01:53:43.040 Whether it is reality

01:53:43.920 Or not right

01:53:44.420 So if you have

01:53:45.400 Say two million people

01:53:46.580 Who feel like

01:53:47.280 They're being persecuted

01:53:48.220 Whether they are

01:53:48.880 Or they aren't

01:53:49.520 And being pushed

01:53:50.120 Under the ground

01:53:50.580 Whether they are

01:53:51.040 Or they aren't

01:53:51.500 It's gonna bubble up

01:53:52.800 There's no way

01:53:53.720 For it not to

01:53:54.660 Yeah

01:53:54.900 And so I just feel

01:53:56.240 Like we're going

01:53:57.100 About this

01:53:57.900 In the wrong way

01:53:59.140 A lot of times

01:53:59.840 There's some people

01:54:00.420 Who do deserve

01:54:01.060 To get canceled

01:54:02.900 Oh yeah

01:54:03.520 I think there's

01:54:03.960 Some people who

01:54:04.560 Yeah

01:54:04.820 Yeah there's people

01:54:05.860 Who you know

01:54:07.000 There's people

01:54:07.320 All over the place

01:54:08.140 That probably deserve

01:54:09.000 Probably definitely

01:54:11.400 Some sort of

01:54:12.200 Some sort of

01:54:13.140 Reprimanding

01:54:13.740 Some sort of real

01:54:14.780 Yes

01:54:15.320 Action against them

01:54:16.620 You know

01:54:17.360 But it is

01:54:19.100 It's definitely

01:54:19.600 Like it's become

01:54:20.640 A place

01:54:21.060 A lot of social media

01:54:22.260 Has become a place

01:54:22.880 Where you can't

01:54:23.660 It's not even like

01:54:25.040 It's like they group

01:54:26.240 Everybody

01:54:26.840 I feel like

01:54:27.820 There's a lot of

01:54:28.720 Grouping of white

01:54:29.900 And poor white people 0.61

01:54:31.120 That 1.00

01:54:31.600 They're all racist

01:54:34.280 Or they're all this way 1.00

01:54:35.680 Or they're all dumb 1.00

01:54:36.840 Or they're all ignorant 1.00

01:54:37.760 And it's like 1.00

01:54:38.340 Man it's so hard

01:54:40.120 To be poor and white 0.96

01:54:41.080 Like don't you understand 0.73

01:54:42.160 Like

01:54:42.500 I think it's hard

01:54:43.200 To be poor dude

01:54:43.960 In anything

01:54:44.480 But why does

01:54:45.300 One color of poor

01:54:46.420 Get treated differently

01:54:47.560 By the media

01:54:49.540 Than another color does

01:54:50.780 Man that just

01:54:51.400 Baffles me sometimes

01:54:52.460 Well I just think

01:54:53.580 That

01:54:54.300 And I grew up

01:54:54.960 Poor too man

01:54:55.620 Like we grew up

01:54:56.200 With no car

01:54:57.020 And you know

01:54:57.940 I remember walking

01:54:59.580 To school

01:55:00.040 And we just rode

01:55:00.960 Our bikes

01:55:01.540 And we had to

01:55:01.920 Borrow our car

01:55:02.440 To go grocery shopping

01:55:03.460 And you know

01:55:05.040 I wore hand-me-downs

01:55:08.100 Because I had

01:55:09.340 Three older brothers 0.99

01:55:09.980 Oh damn 0.99

01:55:11.220 I wore hand-me-downs 0.99

01:55:12.440 Until I was like

01:55:13.080 12 or 13

01:55:14.260 They started off

01:55:15.020 With overalls

01:55:15.500 And they finished

01:55:15.820 As pants

01:55:16.260 Yeah man

01:55:16.920 I mean I didn't

01:55:17.780 Have like

01:55:18.320 You know what I mean

01:55:18.980 So I get it

01:55:19.880 I just think that

01:55:21.400 It's not that

01:55:23.440 White poor people 0.98

01:55:24.500 Are treated differently 0.93

01:55:25.320 I just think they're not

01:55:27.080 Portrayed at all

01:55:28.940 Like it's the

01:55:29.980 And they haven't been

01:55:30.680 For a while

01:55:31.340 Visually

01:55:32.060 Visually

01:55:32.860 We're not being asked

01:55:34.760 To feel sorry for

01:55:37.480 Or support that community

01:55:39.280 Yeah

01:55:39.720 And I don't know

01:55:41.180 The exact reason for it man

01:55:42.700 You know and I think

01:55:43.680 All media is

01:55:45.760 Unfortunately

01:55:47.400 Intentionally divisive

01:55:50.020 Because I think fear

01:55:51.500 Motivates people to do things

01:55:53.940 More than anything else

01:55:54.900 The thing that's gonna

01:55:55.900 Motivate you to do

01:55:57.000 Something the most

01:55:57.800 Is for me to get on camera

01:55:59.380 And say hey everybody

01:56:00.540 These people

01:56:01.780 This group of bad people

01:56:02.660 Are coming to take

01:56:03.360 Something away from you

01:56:04.140 Something you already have

01:56:05.420 Nothing motivates you

01:56:06.780 To do something

01:56:07.380 Than somebody coming 1.00

01:56:08.400 To take some shit 1.00

01:56:09.200 I already have 1.00

01:56:10.000 Do you know what I mean

01:56:10.980 That'll get you scared

01:56:12.200 Guns

01:56:12.940 Rights

01:56:13.600 Whatever it is

01:56:14.240 That you're coming to get

01:56:15.260 Think about this dude

01:56:16.460 Yeah

01:56:17.080 Think about the mask

01:56:18.280 And I'm just using this

01:56:19.820 Because it's current

01:56:20.460 And for me guys

01:56:21.720 I fall right in the middle of it

01:56:24.220 I wear it because I think

01:56:25.800 I don't think I'm gonna die

01:56:27.820 From corona

01:56:28.440 But you know what I don't want 0.99

01:56:29.540 Whatever the fuck 0.99

01:56:30.460 Those people are having 0.99

01:56:31.220 Because it sounds terrible

01:56:32.180 Yeah

01:56:32.640 Two weeks of that

01:56:33.320 Sounds terrible

01:56:33.980 You know what I mean

01:56:34.400 Yeah yeah I agree

01:56:35.180 So and do I have

01:56:36.920 Underlying health issues

01:56:37.740 I don't think so

01:56:38.620 But I also know

01:56:39.880 Other people that do

01:56:40.660 And the mask

01:56:41.720 Is no big deal to me

01:56:42.700 But here is how

01:56:44.100 Crazy people get

01:56:45.100 So it's all about 0.96

01:56:47.440 My rights

01:56:49.320 My rights

01:56:49.680 My rights

01:56:50.160 Right

01:56:50.520 Okay

01:56:51.780 Hey man

01:56:53.000 Make sure you put

01:56:53.500 Your shoes on

01:56:53.920 Before you come

01:56:54.280 In the restaurant

01:56:54.640 Okay

01:56:55.060 Hey man

01:56:56.380 Make sure you put

01:56:56.840 That shirt on

01:56:57.280 Before you come

01:56:57.580 In the restaurant

01:56:57.900 Okay

01:56:58.360 Why

01:56:59.200 Because these are

01:57:00.320 Old rules

01:57:01.380 Nothing's being

01:57:02.040 Taken away from us

01:57:03.020 I grew up with that

01:57:03.960 Oh I see what you're

01:57:04.360 Saying

01:57:04.480 The rules that you

01:57:05.120 Right

01:57:05.480 I grew up with that

01:57:06.360 So it just seems

01:57:07.160 Totally normal to me

01:57:08.140 But why is it

01:57:09.660 Any different

01:57:10.440 So what I'm saying is

01:57:12.780 If you said to me

01:57:13.960 Hey you can go into

01:57:14.780 A restaurant with people

01:57:16.020 Wearing masks

01:57:16.680 And no shoes

01:57:17.460 Or shoes and no masks

01:57:19.000 I'd be like no shoes

01:57:20.100 Because I'm not

01:57:20.900 Going to get

01:57:21.140 I'm not getting sick

01:57:22.100 But it's just an

01:57:23.340 Irreasonable law

01:57:25.580 Rule that was

01:57:26.840 Already there

01:57:27.320 That we all

01:57:28.360 Already accept

01:57:29.560 Right

01:57:29.940 But now that I'm

01:57:30.980 Telling you you got

01:57:31.660 To do it

01:57:32.060 Now it's my rights

01:57:33.100 Do you know what I mean

01:57:34.480 Yeah it's interesting

01:57:35.220 Yeah it's because

01:57:35.740 You're taking

01:57:36.180 Yeah you're taking

01:57:36.800 Something away from me

01:57:38.200 That I've always just

01:57:39.480 Taken for granted

01:57:40.680 Now obviously that's

01:57:41.900 Not the whole thing

01:57:42.740 But that is got to do

01:57:44.320 With it

01:57:44.760 You're taking it from

01:57:45.860 That's a part of it

01:57:46.500 Yeah that's definitely

01:57:47.020 A part of a lot of

01:57:47.780 Things I think

01:57:48.320 Yeah it's like you're

01:57:48.900 Taking something away

01:57:49.920 From me

01:57:50.320 It's like

01:57:50.800 Yeah

01:57:51.180 Just think of the

01:57:52.340 Seatbelt dude

01:57:52.920 The seatbelt is

01:57:54.460 Something the government

01:57:55.260 Makes you do

01:57:56.080 Because they're telling

01:57:57.660 You it's better for you

01:57:59.320 Yeah

01:57:59.640 I don't

01:58:00.800 There's nobody like

01:58:01.560 Hey 1.00

01:58:02.020 Fuck you and your 1.00

01:58:03.360 Seatbelts 1.00

01:58:03.920 Yeah

01:58:04.400 You know

01:58:05.320 You know what I mean

01:58:06.760 They can't make me

01:58:08.400 Wear a seatbelt

01:58:08.900 Well yeah they can

01:58:09.800 Yeah

01:58:10.240 And you've just

01:58:10.960 Accepted it

01:58:11.560 Yeah

01:58:11.860 It's just different man

01:58:12.900 When you start to get

01:58:13.800 Things changed

01:58:15.280 Or taken from you

01:58:16.280 That you feel like

01:58:17.060 You should have a choice over 1.00

01:58:18.120 It'll fuck with you 1.00

01:58:19.500 As an adult 1.00

01:58:20.000 Yeah it does I think

01:58:21.280 And especially as you're

01:58:22.120 As you become an adult

01:58:23.060 Because those are things

01:58:23.640 You're used to

01:58:24.220 Yeah

01:58:24.460 It's just like

01:58:25.280 Yeah and then you start

01:58:26.340 To feel like if I lose this

01:58:27.520 And it's going to be

01:58:28.060 Other things

01:58:28.780 And when does this

01:58:29.800 Kind of stop

01:58:30.420 100%

01:58:31.120 100%

01:58:32.380 Yeah it's interesting

01:58:33.300 With the mask thing man

01:58:34.380 It's really interesting

01:58:35.380 I think

01:58:35.900 The tough part for me

01:58:37.320 Sometimes is when

01:58:38.220 I have to be like

01:58:39.340 In a doctor's office

01:58:40.400 Or in a place where

01:58:41.760 You have to keep it on

01:58:42.800 The whole time

01:58:43.440 And then it's like

01:58:44.480 It starts to be like

01:58:45.400 You lose the ability to

01:58:47.880 You don't even feel human

01:58:49.080 A lot of times

01:58:49.620 Yeah

01:58:49.800 You just like

01:58:50.640 You're stuck in this thing

01:58:52.100 And they're stuck in that thing

01:58:53.340 And you're just kind of

01:58:54.780 Getting done

01:58:55.520 Whatever business

01:58:56.220 You need to get done

01:58:57.060 100%

01:58:57.440 And there's no value

01:58:58.320 In like

01:58:58.920 Being like a human anymore

01:59:01.120 And then I think

01:59:01.840 You attach that

01:59:03.080 If you then attach that

01:59:04.640 To the fact that there is

01:59:06.900 You know that

01:59:09.000 That the government

01:59:09.820 Is mandating it

01:59:10.940 And that like

01:59:11.480 You know it's

01:59:12.580 Instead of just letting

01:59:14.100 The disease pass through

01:59:15.900 Like herd immunity

01:59:16.960 Type of thing

01:59:17.620 They're like

01:59:18.900 Trying to like

01:59:19.740 Mandate everyone's 1.00

01:59:21.220 Movements and everything

01:59:22.180 It's scary for some people

01:59:23.740 When the government

01:59:24.400 Starts to step in

01:59:25.500 And tell you

01:59:26.760 What you should

01:59:27.500 Or shouldn't do

01:59:28.260 My whole thing

01:59:30.060 With this

01:59:31.460 And basically

01:59:32.240 Whatever you want to use

01:59:34.960 Whatever example

01:59:35.700 Climate change

01:59:36.340 Or anything right

01:59:37.020 I'm not very smart

01:59:38.740 So what I do

01:59:40.460 Is I go

01:59:41.600 Okay

01:59:41.960 What do the majority

01:59:43.580 Of smart people say

01:59:44.960 If the majority

01:59:46.360 Of smart people

01:59:47.840 Were like

01:59:48.780 Hey

01:59:49.120 If the majority

01:59:49.860 Of doctors

01:59:50.420 Said hey

01:59:51.060 Don't

01:59:51.940 Don't wear the mask

01:59:52.640 I'd be like

01:59:53.000 Yeah everybody

01:59:53.520 Don't wear the mask

01:59:54.100 And some say

01:59:55.220 Don't wear the mask

01:59:55.740 But to the doctors

01:59:57.360 That I've spoken to

01:59:58.320 The majority of them

01:59:59.940 Are like

02:00:00.160 Yeah just wear the mask

02:00:00.940 It's probably easier

02:00:01.620 So I'm just listening

02:00:02.440 To what

02:00:02.900 The majority of people

02:00:04.140 Who are smarter than me

02:00:04.920 Think

02:00:05.180 Right

02:00:05.680 I'm gonna tell you

02:00:06.580 Right out

02:00:06.800 You know what

02:00:07.100 I know about the disease

02:00:07.860 Not

02:00:08.780 Nothing 0.99

02:00:10.780 I don't know shit 0.92

02:00:11.860 About it

02:00:12.620 I just know

02:00:13.180 The same articles

02:00:13.940 That you've read

02:00:14.900 Yeah

02:00:15.280 So I just ask

02:00:16.180 People who are

02:00:16.660 Smarter than me

02:00:17.180 And that's all I can do

02:00:18.320 Because I'm not 0.99

02:00:19.160 That fucking smart 0.98

02:00:20.000 So when I hear people 0.99

02:00:21.040 Like you know

02:00:21.580 What it is

02:00:22.420 Dude come on man

02:00:23.760 Like you

02:00:24.160 You know what I mean

02:00:26.400 Like

02:00:26.720 It's tough to like

02:00:28.520 Yeah

02:00:28.720 You have mustard on your face

02:00:29.580 Dude

02:00:29.820 You know

02:00:30.100 It's tough to kind of

02:00:32.340 Get to that level

02:00:33.120 And it's also like

02:00:34.320 We're at an age

02:00:35.100 Where we are not

02:00:35.980 Like susceptible

02:00:36.680 We're not like

02:00:37.520 The primary candidates

02:00:38.640 Of people that are

02:00:39.300 Going to get injured

02:00:40.060 Or something

02:00:40.440 I do think it's crazy

02:00:42.280 Sometimes how every place

02:00:43.220 It's like lock up the

02:00:44.160 Grandma

02:00:44.420 It's like

02:00:44.800 Put old people 1.00

02:00:46.320 On the side

02:00:47.140 And I think

02:00:47.860 Open things up

02:00:49.260 And let people

02:00:49.760 Live their lives

02:00:50.360 It's crazy to me

02:00:51.500 How a place like

02:00:52.540 Tennessee will be open

02:00:53.860 And a place like

02:00:54.940 Los Angeles will be closed

02:00:55.920 I know there's a lot more

02:00:56.740 People in Los Angeles

02:00:57.500 Yeah

02:00:57.780 But it's still not like

02:01:00.520 It's rampant

02:01:01.460 In Tennessee

02:01:02.600 Dude

02:01:02.900 You know

02:01:03.160 I think the problem

02:01:04.760 Has been

02:01:05.680 We're all

02:01:07.380 We're all

02:01:08.440 You know

02:01:09.220 You go back to it

02:01:09.940 If we go back to

02:01:10.700 What we're talking about

02:01:11.000 With the kids

02:01:11.520 If we all consider us

02:01:13.060 Kids right

02:01:13.780 Consistency

02:01:15.120 There's never been

02:01:16.280 A consistent message

02:01:17.260 Yeah

02:01:17.860 Which has

02:01:18.640 Sowed

02:01:19.460 Basic distrust

02:01:21.260 Into

02:01:21.940 Now everybody

02:01:22.660 Since there's never been

02:01:23.320 A consistent message

02:01:24.200 And it's never been

02:01:25.280 Consistent in the places

02:01:26.480 In the country

02:01:27.140 Everybody's like 1.00

02:01:28.380 Well fuck 1.00

02:01:28.720 Nobody knows shit 1.00

02:01:29.640 So I'm coming up 0.94

02:01:30.700 With my own idea

02:01:31.440 You know

02:01:31.720 And at this point

02:01:32.880 We're too far in

02:01:34.600 To shut it down again

02:01:36.100 Oh I agree with that

02:01:37.420 You know what I mean

02:01:37.800 I agree with that

02:01:38.620 If it was gonna happen

02:01:39.440 Everybody should have been 0.53

02:01:41.140 Put their big boy pants on 0.50

02:01:42.400 For those first two months

02:01:43.360 But after the first two months

02:01:44.860 It's out there

02:01:46.440 But I feel like

02:01:47.280 The first two weeks

02:01:48.240 Everybody was locked up

02:01:49.620 You know

02:01:50.140 Maybe they weren't

02:01:50.880 I mean what

02:01:51.140 Maybe they weren't

02:01:52.560 I don't know

02:01:53.000 You know what's interesting man

02:01:54.100 For me

02:01:54.700 It definitely feels like

02:01:56.740 To me that things

02:01:57.420 Should be open

02:01:58.120 And we should keep 0.98

02:02:00.240 Real good care

02:02:01.020 Of our senior citizens

02:02:01.820 Give them some money

02:02:03.020 So that they're able

02:02:04.600 To take care of themselves

02:02:05.460 Yeah

02:02:05.880 And let everybody else

02:02:07.180 Go back to work man

02:02:08.280 That's what it feels like

02:02:09.060 To me

02:02:09.460 I talked to my dad

02:02:12.280 Can I tell you

02:02:12.700 What my dad said

02:02:13.380 Yeah

02:02:13.660 He's 83

02:02:14.580 And

02:02:16.940 It was a couple months ago

02:02:18.340 And I was

02:02:19.940 And he's

02:02:20.500 You know my dad

02:02:21.240 My dad is the

02:02:23.920 Most honest

02:02:25.340 Moral

02:02:26.860 Ethical dude 0.97

02:02:27.860 And

02:02:29.220 But I asked him

02:02:31.080 I go

02:02:31.260 So

02:02:31.540 Will you think about

02:02:34.120 Maybe we should just start

02:02:34.960 The economy

02:02:35.500 And I'm thinking about

02:02:36.760 Maybe hitting the road

02:02:37.640 A little bit

02:02:38.200 I just need

02:02:38.760 I can't not work dad

02:02:40.200 I just

02:02:40.520 I can't go another year

02:02:41.680 With not working

02:02:42.400 And I could hear him

02:02:44.240 Just steaming

02:02:44.820 And I was like

02:02:45.860 What's going on

02:02:46.440 And he said

02:02:46.980 Well let me ask you something

02:02:47.780 Have I lived my life

02:02:49.780 Pretty well

02:02:50.380 And I go yeah

02:02:51.540 And he goes

02:02:51.940 I raised my kids

02:02:52.780 And

02:02:53.040 I'm definitely not

02:02:54.740 At the beginning of my life

02:02:55.600 Is that right

02:02:56.020 And I said yeah

02:02:56.700 And he goes

02:02:57.080 So I

02:02:58.120 Because

02:02:59.080 You can't figure out 1.00

02:03:01.140 Your shit 1.00

02:03:02.340 I have to live the rest of my life 1.00

02:03:03.860 Indoors 1.00

02:03:04.320 Is that what you're telling me

02:03:05.060 I don't deserve the respect

02:03:06.940 Like I haven't lived my life

02:03:08.820 I didn't

02:03:09.200 The rest of people my age

02:03:10.380 We didn't build this country

02:03:11.340 For you guys

02:03:11.980 That we have to live

02:03:13.120 Our last years indoors

02:03:14.480 Because you can't figure out 1.00

02:03:16.040 How not to go to a fucking bar 1.00

02:03:17.640 On a Friday 0.99

02:03:18.120 And I was like

02:03:19.020 And I said

02:03:21.140 I completely understand that

02:03:22.440 I go but what about

02:03:23.320 The small business dude

02:03:24.480 In New Jersey

02:03:25.520 Who's been shut down

02:03:26.520 For seven months

02:03:27.260 And he goes

02:03:27.740 No I get that

02:03:28.400 He said

02:03:29.120 But

02:03:29.440 You can't just open it up wide

02:03:31.460 We gotta be smarter

02:03:32.780 He said

02:03:33.220 Because I don't wanna die

02:03:34.260 In my house

02:03:35.360 Yeah

02:03:36.300 And I was like

02:03:36.920 And I couldn't

02:03:38.140 Remember how we were talking about

02:03:39.040 Two things can be true

02:03:39.680 At the same time

02:03:40.260 Yeah

02:03:40.900 I couldn't argue with that

02:03:42.160 Do you know what I mean

02:03:42.600 Yeah yeah

02:03:42.980 I know you

02:03:43.300 It's tough to

02:03:43.980 Yeah

02:03:44.220 What are you gonna say

02:03:44.880 To that man

02:03:45.440 So like

02:03:45.980 You're not

02:03:46.520 His life

02:03:47.360 Is his real

02:03:48.120 Is his reality

02:03:49.320 And it makes perfect sense

02:03:50.520 Yeah

02:03:50.800 Yeah yeah

02:03:51.320 So for me

02:03:52.760 I'm with you

02:03:53.280 Like

02:03:53.540 We just gotta figure out a way

02:03:55.220 You can still be smart

02:03:57.060 You know those 0.91

02:03:58.320 27 man orgies

02:03:59.540 Maybe stop

02:04:00.220 There's been a couple of those

02:04:01.420 You see people getting busted

02:04:02.280 All men 0.98

02:04:02.720 Dude there was one 25 man 0.98

02:04:04.980 There's dude

02:04:05.640 25

02:04:06.220 A 25

02:04:07.360 Dude didn't show up 0.99

02:04:08.400 Yo a 25 dude orgy 0.98

02:04:12.680 That's a lot 1.00

02:04:13.800 That's a lot of dicks 1.00

02:04:15.740 To worry about man 0.99

02:04:16.860 That's this one

02:04:18.020 This guy got caught

02:04:20.020 Sneaking out of the back

02:04:21.240 Oh definitely he did

02:04:22.540 He got caught

02:04:23.340 Sneaking out of the back 0.97

02:04:24.320 Of a 25 dude orgy 0.99

02:04:25.460 Cause he's an anti 0.99

02:04:26.520 LGBTQ politician

02:04:28.200 From Hungary

02:04:28.780 But he got

02:04:30.000 He got

02:04:30.580 So he's anti

02:04:31.420 LGBTQ

02:04:31.860 And he got busted

02:04:33.200 And that's always how they do it

02:04:34.440 Yeah coming out

02:04:35.100 25 guys

02:04:36.660 First of all 0.94

02:04:37.320 Hey guys where's some dicks 0.99

02:04:38.520 Where 0.68

02:04:38.880 Yeah

02:04:39.400 How do you pick your 25

02:04:40.860 You know what I mean

02:04:42.520 Like how do you pick

02:04:43.500 And is 25 the limit

02:04:45.000 There's two of them

02:04:45.380 Right there in the distance

02:04:46.240 Right there

02:04:46.660 Yeah

02:04:47.080 Yeah

02:04:48.120 Yeah this dude

02:04:54.260 Now that's a lot of men 0.99

02:04:55.540 Are you know

02:04:56.260 Without ladies out there 1.00

02:04:57.520 We gotta at least

02:04:58.180 Let the ladies loose 1.00

02:04:59.320 Man

02:04:59.580 Look at this guy

02:05:01.220 It looks like

02:05:01.980 I'm picturing 25 dudes

02:05:03.420 Who look exactly

02:05:04.400 Like

02:05:05.680 That dude

02:05:07.020 Right there

02:05:07.680 You know what I mean

02:05:08.500 Just

02:05:09.300 Oh man

02:05:10.220 Just 1.00

02:05:10.600 Playing fucking 1.00

02:05:12.200 Booty darts 1.00

02:05:12.940 This dude

02:05:13.560 This dude 0.99

02:05:14.380 When he has sex 0.98

02:05:15.300 His face gets sweaty 0.98

02:05:17.060 Oh yeah

02:05:17.880 There's no doubt

02:05:18.760 This dude's face

02:05:19.660 Gets sweaty

02:05:20.380 I bet he keeps his shirt on 0.88

02:05:21.660 During sex 0.94

02:05:22.140 The whole time

02:05:22.720 That white t-shirt

02:05:23.780 Yeah

02:05:24.500 I bet he keeps his watch on

02:05:26.120 Oh yeah

02:05:28.580 Watch

02:05:29.080 What time

02:05:29.500 Time for me to keep 1.00

02:05:31.820 Fucking 0.99

02:05:32.400 Yeah but I think 0.99

02:05:34.840 He goes

02:05:35.280 When he goes 0.99

02:05:36.380 Sex 0.99

02:05:36.960 He goes glasses off 0.89

02:05:37.940 But he puts one

02:05:38.520 Monocle in

02:05:39.180 Yeah

02:05:39.600 Monocle

02:05:40.540 Sweaty face

02:05:41.620 White t-shirt

02:05:42.600 And socks

02:05:43.400 Yeah he should

02:05:44.100 Definitely at least

02:05:44.960 Sell merch 0.99

02:05:45.620 How do you fucking 0.99

02:05:48.780 That's the problem bro 0.99

02:05:50.360 If you were an elected

02:05:51.580 Official

02:05:51.980 When you get busted

02:05:52.660 In a sex crime

02:05:53.440 Sell merch

02:05:55.080 Yeah you gotta

02:05:55.740 Merch it out man

02:05:56.740 How are y'all not

02:05:57.460 Selling merch

02:05:58.200 I mean that

02:05:59.420 That seems like

02:06:00.880 I mean what's the t-shirt

02:06:01.880 You wear

02:06:02.360 And jumping out

02:06:03.220 Of a 25 dude

02:06:04.360 Yeah 0.67

02:06:04.820 Orgy

02:06:05.400 Yeah it's just

02:06:06.300 Like a picture

02:06:07.200 Of you like

02:06:07.780 Leaving a house

02:06:08.580 And it's like

02:06:08.980 25 sets of eyes

02:06:10.900 And one of the

02:06:11.300 Peeking out

02:06:11.840 One of the windows

02:06:12.360 Or how about 0.99

02:06:13.120 I went to a 25 man orgy 0.99

02:06:14.820 And all I got 0.99

02:06:15.400 Was this lousy t-shirt

02:06:16.680 Yeah

02:06:18.500 That's the one to do it

02:06:22.100 Alright you win

02:06:22.680 The shirt idea

02:06:23.360 Yeah

02:06:23.620 Let's bring up

02:06:24.480 Another news article

02:06:25.280 What else do we have

02:06:26.040 And then we'll finish

02:06:26.640 Up here man

02:06:27.400 Let's go with that

02:06:28.540 Logan Paul

02:06:30.300 What's he doing

02:06:31.960 Now did he sell his home

02:06:34.160 Does it say

02:06:34.620 What does it say here

02:06:35.440 Zoom in a little

02:06:36.600 Thank you brother

02:06:37.060 The pandemic has fueled

02:06:37.900 A dramatic new wave

02:06:39.040 Of high profile migration

02:06:40.320 Sending tech workers

02:06:41.260 To Texas

02:06:41.840 Wall Street

02:06:42.300 Types to Florida

02:06:43.000 And YouTube provocateur

02:06:44.900 Logan Paul

02:06:45.920 To

02:06:46.880 Puerto Rico

02:06:49.040 Paul an influence

02:06:49.980 Entertainer

02:06:50.440 Told his 2.8 million

02:06:51.880 YouTube subscribers

02:06:52.920 Tuesday he was

02:06:53.520 Leaving Los Angeles

02:06:54.200 And moving to the

02:06:54.940 Heaven on earth

02:06:55.500 Of Dorado

02:06:56.200 So to me

02:06:58.200 This is a community

02:06:59.500 About 30 minutes west

02:07:00.360 Of San Juan

02:07:01.160 Has become a favorite

02:07:01.780 Spot of wealthy

02:07:02.700 Mainlanders

02:07:03.520 To me

02:07:04.720 This sounds

02:07:06.540 Like he did

02:07:08.200 Ayahuasca

02:07:10.500 And just took off

02:07:11.640 And went to Puerto Rico

02:07:12.220 And now he's making a choice

02:07:12.900 He had now

02:07:13.440 Yeah

02:07:14.180 I gotta tell you

02:07:15.980 You know

02:07:16.600 First of all

02:07:18.840 Love Puerto Rico

02:07:20.120 It's a beautiful place

02:07:21.880 But I understand

02:07:23.160 They have some weather

02:07:24.040 Issues down there

02:07:24.940 Where you might not

02:07:25.820 Want to build

02:07:26.300 A super expensive home

02:07:28.040 Yeah

02:07:28.540 Because the hurricanes

02:07:29.380 Whipped through there

02:07:30.100 Pretty good

02:07:31.300 However

02:07:32.180 You know

02:07:33.900 It's a beautiful spot

02:07:35.320 Oh yeah

02:07:35.620 Puerto Rico is beautiful man

02:07:36.660 They got that

02:07:37.320 Three kings day

02:07:38.340 Tres reyes

02:07:39.160 Tres reyes

02:07:39.920 Which is also a gang

02:07:40.880 In part of America

02:07:42.380 But it's crazy

02:07:43.500 Here in California

02:07:44.040 Paying taxes

02:07:44.880 And for what

02:07:45.900 Paul said on his show

02:07:47.040 Impulsive

02:07:47.520 The streets are not fixed

02:07:48.620 Homeless people everywhere

02:07:49.740 A Darth

02:07:50.720 Oh I'm surprised

02:07:51.700 You knew that word

02:07:52.200 But I respect that Logan

02:07:53.160 Well done

02:07:53.580 A Darth of unemployment

02:07:54.980 COVID not handled

02:07:56.660 I don't love it

02:07:57.840 Yeah man

02:07:59.340 There's a lot of things

02:08:00.200 About California

02:08:01.200 That lead it to

02:08:02.840 That I think

02:08:04.520 Have led to some

02:08:05.240 Of its decline

02:08:06.280 In some of our minds

02:08:08.100 I mean for me

02:08:08.740 Number one

02:08:09.380 Was definitely taxes

02:08:10.520 Yeah

02:08:10.880 I just didn't feel like

02:08:11.480 Paying taxes to

02:08:12.680 Just such a

02:08:15.580 A place that

02:08:16.520 To me

02:08:16.900 It just becomes so

02:08:18.200 Just too far

02:08:20.200 Lopsided

02:08:21.000 Just

02:08:21.380 I agree

02:08:21.920 Out for blood

02:08:23.140 Not

02:08:23.860 As creative

02:08:25.100 As it

02:08:25.560 As I felt like

02:08:26.440 It maybe once was

02:08:28.060 Too much nepotism

02:08:30.820 I feel like

02:08:31.280 Not enough chances

02:08:32.080 For the regular person

02:08:33.080 That's moving there

02:08:34.020 And I could be wrong

02:08:36.260 I could be totally wrong

02:08:37.420 But those are just

02:08:37.940 Thoughts that have been

02:08:38.580 In my head

02:08:39.120 No

02:08:39.480 I'm not saying

02:08:39.820 They're accurate 0.85

02:08:40.320 For me

02:08:41.280 The taxes

02:08:43.520 I was like

02:08:44.500 I didn't mind

02:08:45.740 Paying the taxes

02:08:46.420 When I knew

02:08:47.840 What my taxes

02:08:48.720 Were going towards

02:08:49.940 Right

02:08:50.300 Why am I paying taxes

02:08:51.760 And stepping over

02:08:53.900 Homeless people 0.99

02:08:55.120 Where

02:08:55.660 Not

02:08:56.140 It's not just in one part

02:08:57.440 Of the city now

02:08:58.060 Everywhere

02:08:58.460 Why am I

02:08:59.620 Why am I

02:09:00.200 They're meeting up

02:09:00.940 Yeah man

02:09:01.620 They're making community

02:09:03.160 Yeah

02:09:03.760 Why am I paying taxes

02:09:05.240 And it's so dirty

02:09:07.060 Do you know what I mean

02:09:07.960 Like

02:09:08.140 If I'm paying this money

02:09:09.760 It's a lot of money

02:09:11.240 Yeah a lot of money

02:09:12.460 Then

02:09:12.860 What am I getting from it

02:09:14.560 And I wasn't getting anything

02:09:15.920 And not only that man

02:09:16.960 Honestly

02:09:17.420 It's like I said

02:09:19.680 And I should have left

02:09:20.660 A couple years ago

02:09:21.620 I never felt like

02:09:22.400 I was really part

02:09:23.180 Of the cool kids

02:09:24.340 And

02:09:25.760 I felt like

02:09:27.620 I feel so much more

02:09:29.240 Creative and relaxed here

02:09:30.780 Because I don't feel like

02:09:32.500 I'm competing all the time

02:09:33.940 Oh yeah

02:09:34.540 I'm not waking up

02:09:35.440 Wondering what other people

02:09:36.260 Are doing or

02:09:37.060 It's a great point

02:09:38.000 Do you know what I mean

02:09:38.580 Yeah that part of my day

02:09:39.740 Is gone

02:09:40.300 Gone

02:09:40.840 It's like I'm just

02:09:41.240 A little creative

02:09:42.060 And maybe I can spend

02:09:43.560 Some time taking care

02:09:44.500 Of myself

02:09:44.920 Yeah

02:09:45.320 Did you wake up also

02:09:47.660 And worry about

02:09:48.460 What other people

02:09:49.300 Were doing

02:09:49.800 And what other people

02:09:50.780 I just found

02:09:52.060 Like I'm

02:09:52.480 I'm like

02:09:53.000 Why am I

02:09:53.540 In my own head

02:09:54.940 Competing with these people

02:09:56.780 Yeah

02:09:57.120 We're not competing

02:09:58.100 Do you know what I mean

02:09:59.160 Right

02:09:59.720 I haven't done that here

02:10:00.560 Yeah I think

02:10:02.200 I think

02:10:04.900 Well I still have my apartment there

02:10:06.280 So it's like

02:10:06.720 And I'll probably go back

02:10:07.900 And spend some time there

02:10:08.820 Especially as the summer

02:10:10.160 Comes back

02:10:10.840 And it's a nice

02:10:12.900 You know

02:10:13.140 To get to the beach

02:10:13.920 And also to do

02:10:14.820 Do podcasting

02:10:16.100 And stuff like that

02:10:16.820 But it's nice

02:10:17.620 To not have

02:10:18.940 It just never felt like

02:10:21.180 It always felt like work

02:10:22.800 It felt like

02:10:23.560 The second I got off the plane

02:10:24.860 I was at the office

02:10:25.740 I agree

02:10:26.580 Just like man

02:10:27.180 I'm at this

02:10:27.660 And then if I was

02:10:28.820 If I was home for two weeks

02:10:30.320 I'm at

02:10:30.660 I'm just in an office

02:10:31.560 For two weeks

02:10:32.180 Whether I'm sleeping

02:10:32.980 I'm at the

02:10:33.500 In my bed at home

02:10:34.560 Or anywhere

02:10:35.000 I'm just always like this

02:10:36.960 Never ending

02:10:37.880 Buzz

02:10:39.320 Of

02:10:39.640 Of office stuff

02:10:42.360 And then I

02:10:42.860 I really feel like

02:10:44.340 Some of the creativity there

02:10:46.840 Has

02:10:47.200 They've

02:10:47.980 It's been so separated

02:10:49.420 It's like

02:10:50.420 So second

02:10:51.940 Third

02:10:52.340 Fourth generation

02:10:53.340 Just people getting opportunities

02:10:54.720 On their name and stuff

02:10:55.740 That

02:10:56.660 They've lost sight of like

02:10:58.300 A lot of the

02:10:59.440 Not only lost sight

02:11:01.120 But kind of separated themselves

02:11:02.280 From a lot of the places in America

02:11:03.700 Where a lot of good storytelling

02:11:04.980 Comes from

02:11:05.780 And like

02:11:06.280 You know

02:11:08.460 And a lot of creativity

02:11:09.500 Like creativity is kind of

02:11:10.580 A group process

02:11:11.460 You know

02:11:11.960 And when you

02:11:12.480 When you really

02:11:13.460 Minimalize yourself

02:11:14.540 To very

02:11:15.360 You know

02:11:16.580 Kind of narrow

02:11:19.100 Lanes of

02:11:20.100 Okay thought

02:11:21.180 I think

02:11:22.500 And I'm not saying

02:11:23.940 If they're right or wrong

02:11:24.760 But it

02:11:25.160 It very much

02:11:26.120 Leaves you in this place

02:11:27.380 Where you can't really

02:11:28.360 Tell a joke

02:11:29.120 If there's no

02:11:30.000 If there's not a wall

02:11:31.800 To bounce it off of

02:11:32.920 Sometimes

02:11:33.300 And it's like

02:11:34.420 They just

02:11:35.620 Created this place

02:11:36.740 Where I don't even

02:11:37.480 You see some of these

02:11:38.600 New comedy shows

02:11:39.600 And comedy specials

02:11:40.720 And it's like

02:11:41.140 There's not even

02:11:41.740 Any jokes in it

02:11:42.660 It's not comedy

02:11:43.480 No

02:11:44.700 It's not comedy

02:11:45.620 It's crazy

02:11:46.300 And I don't know

02:11:47.020 How they get out of that

02:11:48.120 How they get out of this

02:11:49.660 Like

02:11:49.980 Spiral of

02:11:51.360 Oh you're worse than I am 0.95

02:11:52.780 You're 0.97

02:11:53.040 You messed up

02:11:53.860 You messed up

02:11:54.500 You messed up

02:11:55.200 You're bad

02:11:55.760 You know

02:11:57.620 I think podcasts

02:11:59.400 Has helped stand up

02:12:00.220 More than anything

02:12:00.980 Yeah

02:12:01.400 No doubt

02:12:02.240 It's allowed

02:12:02.980 Praise God man

02:12:03.740 Right

02:12:04.080 Because people have

02:12:04.740 Gotten used to

02:12:05.700 Remember when people

02:12:07.400 Used to talk to us

02:12:08.140 About jokes per minute

02:12:09.000 It gotta be

02:12:10.320 Yeah

02:12:10.640 There's not enough jokes

02:12:11.560 70 jokes per minute

02:12:12.380 Yeah there's not enough

02:12:13.040 Jokes per minute

02:12:13.500 In that story

02:12:14.020 You're like

02:12:14.340 But I'm telling a story

02:12:16.040 Like it's gotta be

02:12:16.860 So I really feel like

02:12:18.540 It has helped

02:12:19.100 But I think

02:12:20.720 What started happening

02:12:21.980 In LA

02:12:22.400 For me anyways

02:12:23.360 Is that everybody

02:12:24.980 Kind of looked at

02:12:25.700 Joe

02:12:26.240 Or Segura

02:12:27.020 Or you

02:12:27.560 Or Bert

02:12:28.260 And it

02:12:29.400 The

02:12:31.980 Path to success

02:12:34.080 Started to become

02:12:35.700 Very repetitious

02:12:36.740 Very copycat

02:12:37.640 And so I think

02:12:39.040 A lot of the creativity

02:12:40.200 It's like you know

02:12:42.440 A couple years ago

02:12:43.580 Maybe ten years ago

02:12:44.900 Everybody who left

02:12:45.680 New York comedy scene

02:12:46.680 Sounded like a tell

02:12:47.580 Everybody had his cadence

02:12:49.080 Yeah

02:12:49.560 Do you know what I mean

02:12:50.200 Not because they were

02:12:51.120 Ripping it off

02:12:51.600 But he

02:12:52.180 He was that big

02:12:53.160 Of an influence

02:12:53.720 Right

02:12:54.040 And so I think

02:12:55.320 There's so much

02:12:55.920 Of the influence

02:12:56.520 From the top

02:12:57.160 That

02:12:57.620 Creatively

02:12:59.480 A lot of the stuff

02:13:00.620 That's coming out

02:13:01.380 Is starting to look the same

02:13:02.520 We haven't had

02:13:04.000 That next wave

02:13:05.160 Of

02:13:05.740 Who's doing

02:13:08.200 Something different

02:13:08.920 Interesting

02:13:09.840 You know what I mean

02:13:10.680 So

02:13:10.920 Right

02:13:11.300 And I wonder

02:13:12.040 If there's

02:13:12.820 And maybe something

02:13:13.740 Different does come out

02:13:14.620 Of a lot of this

02:13:15.240 It usually always does

02:13:16.220 Yeah I think so

02:13:16.720 I think so

02:13:17.500 You're right

02:13:17.620 You're right

02:13:19.240 Josh Wolfe

02:13:21.640 He's got a new special

02:13:22.580 On March 4th

02:13:24.140 Streaming it live

02:13:24.980 One take dude

02:13:26.120 Dang 0.87

02:13:26.600 That's risky bro

02:13:27.520 But it's gonna live

02:13:28.520 For a week

02:13:29.340 So if you get

02:13:30.640 If you can't watch it

02:13:31.640 On Thursday March 4th

02:13:33.340 It'll live for a week

02:13:34.300 On that link

02:13:34.900 It's only $10

02:13:36.060 We're trying to

02:13:37.240 It's a great deal

02:13:38.180 Yeah and we're

02:13:38.860 Upsetting the apple

02:13:39.740 Card here everybody

02:13:40.580 I like it

02:13:41.340 I like somebody

02:13:41.780 Changing the game

02:13:42.440 And if this goes well

02:13:43.300 Then who knows

02:13:43.740 We could all be doing this

02:13:44.800 So that's exciting

02:13:45.520 Yeah man

02:13:46.200 And you get to set

02:13:46.920 Your own price

02:13:47.520 It lives for as long

02:13:48.320 As you want it to live

02:13:49.120 And then you own

02:13:49.980 The material

02:13:50.640 So you get to do

02:13:51.740 What you want

02:13:52.160 Oh I feel you man

02:13:53.120 I feel you man

02:13:54.160 I have a special

02:13:54.760 With Netflix

02:13:55.360 But then after that

02:13:56.300 I think I would

02:13:57.100 I think this might be

02:13:58.260 The future

02:13:58.780 You know

02:13:59.460 Yeah

02:13:59.700 And it's nice to see you

02:14:01.480 You know

02:14:02.640 Neil Armstrong

02:14:03.220 And out there man

02:14:04.060 Yeah comedian

02:14:04.740 Joshua Wolf dot com

02:14:05.660 Everybody

02:14:05.920 Don't pay no attention

02:14:06.680 To that picture

02:14:07.520 I'm gonna have to

02:14:07.900 Get a new one

02:14:08.380 Yeah 0.99

02:14:08.960 Holy shit 0.97

02:14:12.180 We'll see you guys 0.91

02:14:13.040 Alright man

02:14:13.500 Now I'm just

02:14:14.780 Floating on the breeze

02:14:16.380 And I feel

02:14:17.180 I'm falling

02:14:17.980 Like these leaves

02:14:19.320 I must be

02:14:20.400 Cornerstone

02:14:22.660 Oh

02:14:25.280 But when I reach

02:14:26.460 That ground

02:14:27.200 I'll share

02:14:27.960 This peace of mind

02:14:29.360 I found

02:14:30.040 I can feel it

02:14:31.440 In my bones

02:14:33.540 But it's gonna take

02:14:36.460 A little time

02:14:39.200 For me to set

02:14:41.620 That parking brake

02:14:43.060 And let myself

02:14:44.720 Unwine

02:14:45.900 Shine that light

02:14:48.660 On me

02:14:49.720 I'll sit and tell you

02:14:54.200 My stories

02:14:55.520 Shine

02:14:58.160 Shine on me

02:15:00.240 And I will

02:15:02.980 Find a song

02:15:04.740 I will sing it

02:15:06.280 Just for you

02:15:08.160 And I've been moving

02:15:14.420 Way too fast

02:15:15.680 On a runaway train

02:15:17.080 With a heavy load

02:15:18.300 Of my

02:15:18.840 Past

02:15:20.540 And these rails

02:15:24.480 That I've been

02:15:25.220 Riding on

02:15:26.140 They're worn so thin

02:15:27.560 That they're damn near gone

02:15:28.880 I guess now

02:15:29.680 They just weren't

02:15:30.840 Built to live

02:15:31.860 And they're

02:15:33.200 I'm in

02:15:42.280 I'm in

02:15:43.080 I'm in

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 18, 2021

E323 Josh Wolf

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