This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E331 Andrew Schulz

00:00:00.040 Today's guest is a really, is a unique man, they would say, if you saw something.

00:00:06.720 And it is, he was from the North and now he's a Southern man.

00:00:10.760 He's a, he's dual hemisphere man now.

00:00:15.680 You may know him from his Flagrant 2 podcast with Akash Singh. 0.97

00:00:20.600 Or his Brilliant Idiots podcast with Charlemagne the God. 0.62

00:00:24.520 Or Schultz Saves America on Netflix. 0.99

00:00:25.940 It is my friend, comedian Andrew Schultz.

00:00:55.940 Dude, you look Guatemalan, bro. 1.00

00:01:02.580 You're coming in. 1.00

00:01:03.500 Oh damn, boy. 1.00

00:01:04.240 How dark you going, dog? 1.00

00:01:07.500 I know you're trying to get the black.

00:01:09.260 As dark as it gets, man.

00:01:10.140 Bro, you're trying to get diversity on lock, bro. 0.98

00:01:13.700 I start firing all my minorities. 1.00

00:01:16.580 Yeah, dude. 0.98

00:01:17.400 I got this covered, boys.

00:01:18.700 Yeah, you start wearing one of the coming to America hats. 0.59

00:01:20.700 I saw some guy in one of those today, dude.

00:01:25.600 Yo, I got some of my teeth, bro.

00:01:27.700 Do you?

00:01:28.180 I think I'm going to, I'm going to get it out with this.

00:01:30.000 But whatever, we're going.

00:01:31.240 Yo, shout out to Nate Bargazzi, man.

00:01:32.780 Yeah, shout out to Nate Bargazzi, man.

00:01:34.220 He got that new special that's out.

00:01:36.560 I don't even know the name.

00:01:37.520 It's Most American Man or something.

00:01:40.660 Yeah, the best average American.

00:01:43.240 Something like that.

00:01:44.480 Yeah.

00:01:45.180 Which is good.

00:01:46.440 I like it.

00:01:47.300 Yeah, it's good stuff, man.

00:01:49.580 I just love Nate.

00:01:51.300 Yeah, dude.

00:01:52.100 He just described him in the funniest way.

00:01:54.400 I don't know if we were recording for it.

00:01:56.500 Yeah, he's smart.

00:01:58.820 Yeah, you said that you and I, we need something from the audience.

00:02:02.420 I need to see the audience doing something.

00:02:03.980 Yeah.

00:02:04.140 And Nate could probably perform.

00:02:05.920 We were saying he did the show, the special with the masks.

00:02:08.920 Yeah.

00:02:09.540 And I'm like, yeah, he could do that.

00:02:11.060 He could do his jokes if people were laughing or not,

00:02:13.760 and he could perform them in the same way.

00:02:15.380 Yes, and he'll be fine.

00:02:16.320 Yeah, you and I would have a meltdown.

00:02:18.580 Yeah.

00:02:20.840 If they were wearing masks, just in our own heads,

00:02:23.560 like, are they laughing? 1.00

00:02:24.460 What the fuck are they squinting for? 1.00

00:02:25.580 What's wrong with these fucking people? 1.00

00:02:26.800 Yeah, what's that guy thinking about? 1.00

00:02:28.000 Yeah, Nate could perform for reforestation.

00:02:30.080 Like, he could perform for, like, you know, like a fall.

00:02:34.720 You know, he just, yeah, he doesn't need that.

00:02:36.620 Right.

00:02:37.120 He doesn't need that heavy feedback, man.

00:02:40.440 God bless him.

00:02:41.200 Yeah, dude, I want to come down there.

00:02:42.220 I just love y'all's new set, man.

00:02:43.820 Funky, right?

00:02:43.900 Even how it looks on IG.

00:02:44.800 Yeah, it just looks like.

00:02:45.960 We need you down there, bro.

00:02:46.840 It makes me want to do some capoeira, dog,

00:02:49.580 and order a, you know, a. . .

00:02:52.760 Caipirinha?

00:02:53.700 Yeah.

00:02:54.720 Some capoeira and a caipirinha.

00:02:56.260 Yeah, dude.

00:02:56.880 It makes me want to do that.

00:02:57.840 Yeah.

00:02:58.720 And I see you guys are renting.

00:03:00.180 What are y'all, renting a palace or something out there?

00:03:01.880 You're getting chic-ish.

00:03:02.220 There's a palace.

00:03:03.000 A little palace, bro.

00:03:03.780 You guys are getting chic-ish.

00:03:05.800 We're in the hood, though, to be honest.

00:03:07.260 Are you?

00:03:07.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:08.140 Oh, yeah, that's nice.

00:03:08.840 But it looks like it's not.

00:03:10.620 Yeah, dude.

00:03:11.400 Yeah, it looks nice, man.

00:03:13.180 Yeah, I like going down there, man.

00:03:16.540 Yeah, what's going on, bro?

00:03:17.980 I mean, just chilling, dude.

00:03:19.340 Living life, getting some sun out here, doing shows.

00:03:22.480 Have you thought differently since being in Miami?

00:03:25.260 Like, has it started to adjust your view of, like, do I need to be in New York?

00:03:29.280 Bro, I was thinking this on the way here.

00:03:31.000 Like, if there's one positive to corona, it's I made a lot of money.

00:03:36.300 No, if there's one positive to corona, I think it's people from New York and L.A. realize that, oh, there's other places in America that are really nice to live.

00:03:47.900 Yeah.

00:03:49.360 And I had that attitude when I was growing up, and then I kind of, like, got out of New York, and I have family that's not from New York, so I, like, saw there are other, like, really cool places in America.

00:03:58.100 But, like, I know that attitude, because I grew up with that attitude.

00:04:01.120 Right. 1.00

00:04:01.740 And, yeah, just going down to Miami and, like, just really enjoying living in a fucking house. 1.00

00:04:07.200 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:07.820 And, like, having to drive to work and then going, it's nice taking half an hour, just collect my thoughts.

00:04:13.780 Yeah.

00:04:14.380 Dude, it's dope.

00:04:15.340 Well, especially for somebody coming out of the city, I mean, that's got to be a really different energy. 0.99

00:04:19.500 The city's great, but it sucks. 0.98

00:04:20.760 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:21.180 Like, it's the worst place to live.

00:04:23.320 Is it?

00:04:23.480 It's not how human beings should live.

00:04:25.120 Yeah.

00:04:25.480 You've been in New York.

00:04:26.360 Yeah, I've been in New York, man.

00:04:27.640 Oh, I remember I was doing drugs.

00:04:30.240 I was staying at Ari Shaffir's old place, dude, before he frickin' did that epithet for Kobe or whatever he did, whatever it's called, before he spoke at his funeral.

00:04:40.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:40.400 And, uh, uh, I got locked out of there.

00:04:44.040 Dude, I had to climb, they have, like, these communal gardens or something.

00:04:47.020 Yeah.

00:04:47.360 It's like, you know, sometimes.

00:04:49.620 No, they don't.

00:04:50.820 They do, though.

00:04:51.600 They have, like.

00:04:52.220 There's no communal garden in here.

00:04:53.880 Stop, bro. 1.00

00:04:54.380 Stop making shit up. 0.99

00:04:55.880 I'm not joking, bro. 1.00

00:04:57.000 Yo, stop telling me there's a fucking communal. 0.99

00:04:59.580 I had to sneak through. 1.00

00:05:01.620 I had to sneak through somebody fucking. 0.99

00:05:02.800 It was a koi fish pond. 0.99

00:05:04.180 I'm swimming through the koi fish pond.

00:05:05.940 I had to sneak through some rabbit patch in the backyard to get into his place.

00:05:08.700 Like, bro, it was insane.

00:05:09.920 It was just crazy.

00:05:10.760 Yeah, it was just a lot, bro.

00:05:11.920 You're sweating.

00:05:12.600 There's just a lot going on.

00:05:14.080 For even somebody that's not, I felt like.

00:05:16.280 I almost got wrapped up in one of your stories.

00:05:18.280 It almost happened just right there.

00:05:19.940 Bro.

00:05:20.200 It almost happened right there.

00:05:21.640 Because it sounded so romantic and fantastical that I was like, oh, tell me about New York.

00:05:26.900 There's a communal garden. 0.99

00:05:28.140 There's a fucking communal garden. 1.00

00:05:29.340 At 12th and C, there's a fucking communal garden. 1.00

00:05:31.820 Or somebody burned a building down. 1.00

00:05:33.380 It was gross.

00:05:34.660 And the weed started to grow.

00:05:36.340 Yeah, dude.

00:05:36.720 Anyway, I had to jump a fence.

00:05:37.780 I had to sneak around the back of his building to get in.

00:05:40.220 Yeah.

00:05:41.360 Yeah, but I thought New York City's hard, bro.

00:05:44.080 I think if you get older, it's got to be tougher.

00:05:48.960 Okay, what if it's not older?

00:05:51.240 What if it's like you start achieving some of your dreams?

00:05:56.000 And then you're like, how much do I want to live in the grind to get to the place where I want to be?

00:06:03.600 Because it is the place for the grind.

00:06:05.560 Oh, the grind.

00:06:06.100 Yeah.

00:06:06.540 You know what I mean? 0.91

00:06:07.200 Yeah, you're a coffee bean dog. 1.00

00:06:08.700 You fucking getting. 1.00

00:06:09.580 In there. 1.00

00:06:10.160 Just getting rinsed.

00:06:11.900 Non-stop, dude.

00:06:13.640 Yeah. 0.98

00:06:14.080 And it's worth it because you get to put, you know, do all the sets and shit. 0.79

00:06:17.200 Like, I remember seeing you run around the city. 0.95

00:06:19.200 You know what I mean?

00:06:19.480 Dude, I used to go over out there to LIE to that other place out there.

00:06:22.360 They had a.

00:06:22.820 Dude, that's the crazy thing about New York.

00:06:24.080 The room will be 30 feet by two and a half feet.

00:06:28.460 Yeah, you remember that little.

00:06:29.520 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:31.800 It's like a corridor on a yacht ship.

00:06:34.400 It's like the Norwegian.

00:06:38.960 What is it called?

00:06:39.740 The Norwegian cruise line.

00:06:40.700 The Norwegian cruise line.

00:06:41.300 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:42.080 They made a comedy club in just the corridor.

00:06:45.880 Remember how crazy? 1.00

00:06:46.580 That shit is ridiculous. 1.00

00:06:48.100 Waitress couldn't even carry a tray. 1.00

00:06:49.360 Uh-uh.

00:06:49.720 Unbelievable.

00:06:50.040 She was just like individual drinks. 0.99

00:06:51.740 Yeah.

00:06:52.280 2D.

00:06:52.720 It was 2D comedy.

00:06:53.700 It wasn't even three-dimensional.

00:06:56.500 She had to set the drinks on her shoulders and then walk sideways to get to the table. 0.98

00:07:00.520 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:03.760 Dude, Nate Bargazzi murdered in that room, bro.

00:07:06.300 Oh, I could see that, yeah.

00:07:06.940 Just murdered it.

00:07:07.880 I could see that.

00:07:08.760 Yeah, he's so calm.

00:07:10.020 Yeah.

00:07:10.720 Nate is that calm, man.

00:07:11.760 I bet him donating blood, it could be an afternoon, bro.

00:07:14.980 Two pints, man.

00:07:15.620 Yeah, but it could be.

00:07:16.960 He donates double.

00:07:17.860 It's a while, though.

00:07:19.760 His blood don't even care to go.

00:07:21.220 Uh-uh.

00:07:21.880 It's like, what are we doing here, Nate, you know?

00:07:25.020 Yeah, he's a calm, man.

00:07:26.240 He's the middle of a storm, that guy.

00:07:27.580 He's good at just staying calm, man.

00:07:31.740 We had a question that came up.

00:07:35.100 Riley Mal's here with us today.

00:07:37.680 And why don't you bring something up, Riley?

00:07:40.640 We got a fellow from the MTA, I know, that brought in a question here.

00:07:43.880 He's an urban gentleman kind of.

00:07:46.300 Suburban gentleman.

00:07:47.980 No, urban.

00:07:48.700 This guy's urban.

00:07:49.520 Oh, urban gentleman.

00:07:50.340 There we go, Riley.

00:07:52.360 Get it out there.

00:07:52.960 That's it.

00:07:53.400 Huh?

00:07:53.680 Think you ever moved back to Kelly?

00:07:56.320 Well, let's see what this guy has to say.

00:08:01.440 Sorry, Brandon.

00:08:02.560 The podcast is over.

00:08:06.000 It's just going to be some sting, Brandon.

00:08:07.980 Oh, it's been sting for a couple weeks over there. 0.99

00:08:13.460 You and Chris, we better eat some weird shit. 0.99

00:08:16.300 Hey, what's on the menu? 1.00

00:08:18.400 What's on the menu next week? 0.98

00:08:22.400 Oh, he's getting freaking ridiculous over there. 0.93

00:08:25.860 Dude, I think I'm flying in for a delicacy, son. 0.98

00:08:33.420 Stop.

00:08:34.920 Get out of here.

00:08:36.160 Get the volume on, Riley.

00:08:37.700 No, hold on.

00:08:38.480 So you're not going back, bro?

00:08:39.820 Hmm?

00:08:40.160 You're not going?

00:08:41.160 I'm going back, dude. 1.00

00:08:44.600 Fuck you, bro. 1.00

00:08:45.640 This is a question. 1.00

00:08:46.480 Turn the question on, Riley.

00:08:47.560 I can't even throw my mic.

00:08:49.140 There's no sound coming.

00:08:50.100 There is sound. 1.00

00:08:50.900 Fix the damn thing. 0.98

00:08:51.500 Dio, I couldn't even throw my mic away because y'all made fun of me for the way I laugh on the podcast. 0.98

00:08:56.320 Who did? 1.00

00:08:57.260 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:09:00.580 Oh, that's you, dude. 1.00

00:09:03.300 That is you.

00:09:06.060 Bro, yeah, that's you.

00:09:12.120 Who said that?

00:09:13.160 Who did that one? 1.00

00:09:14.620 I did.

00:09:15.360 That's awesome, bro.

00:09:17.100 Find a better way to fix it, Riley.

00:09:18.760 Yeah, I know.

00:09:19.100 That's what I'm trying to do.

00:09:19.920 Okay.

00:09:20.340 I was crying.

00:09:21.700 Sorry, man.

00:09:22.280 This question was supposed to fit in perfectly.

00:09:23.080 How old are these kids you got working here, bro? 1.00

00:09:25.300 Like 12 years old, both these fucking kids. 1.00

00:09:26.700 I don't know. 1.00

00:09:27.660 It's getting bad, man.

00:09:28.500 You got a little Peter Pan factory going on out here. 0.99

00:09:30.380 Fucking getting bad. 0.99

00:09:32.920 Dude. 0.99

00:09:34.760 What's going on?

00:09:35.500 Bro, that's the one thing you find outside of L.A. and New York, dude.

00:09:39.220 It's young boys.

00:09:41.740 We got a question that came in right here for you, souls.

00:09:43.820 Okay, okay.

00:09:44.860 What's up, Dio?

00:09:45.760 What's up?

00:09:46.260 How's you?

00:09:46.860 It's your boy Morphe from New York City, Harlem.

00:09:49.340 I'm repping that MTA header, as you can see.

00:09:51.680 Gang, baby. 0.75

00:09:52.360 Let's go. 1.00

00:09:52.880 Actually, fuck them. 1.00

00:09:53.980 This is a shitty organization to work for anyway. 1.00

00:09:57.180 Anyway, my question has you, man. 1.00

00:09:58.760 I've been watching you ever since, like, fucking Die Code, man. 0.95

00:10:02.040 You've come a long way, brother. 0.99

00:10:04.720 Yeah.

00:10:05.040 Go, boy.

00:10:05.480 Anyways, my question for you is, who do you think you are, bro? 1.00

00:10:12.940 You've been shitting on New York ever since you left, man. 1.00

00:10:15.380 What the fuck is going on? 1.00

00:10:16.460 The fresh air, dog. 1.00

00:10:18.300 The fresh air.

00:10:18.960 We never see you around.

00:10:21.240 We got cocaine. 0.98

00:10:23.140 We got hookers, taxis, everything you went to, man. 0.73

00:10:26.540 Yeah, well, I'll be up there, man. 0.97

00:10:27.920 I'll come through.

00:10:29.520 I'll be the white hezzy, bro.

00:10:30.960 I'm going to come through and take that land.

00:10:33.000 I'm not the way.

00:10:34.600 I'm going to come through and take that land, baby. 0.92

00:10:41.400 I'm going to come through and take that land, baby. 0.92

00:10:44.620 Where you been at now? 1.00

00:10:45.760 Is it true that you've been shitting? 0.99

00:10:46.980 I have no clue. 1.00

00:10:47.720 Have you been shitting on New York? 1.00

00:10:48.900 No, I love New York, man. 1.00

00:10:50.460 I just love not New York, too.

00:10:52.060 But you're getting different, though, bro.

00:10:53.700 Yeah, I'm different.

00:10:54.180 I'm tan, bro.

00:10:55.060 I look better tan, bro.

00:10:57.000 Oh, you do look better.

00:10:57.560 Yo, I think I look better tan.

00:10:59.020 Well, you come in a lot more, and I'll be honest with you, bro. 0.99

00:11:01.940 You come in a lot more, I think, Mexican, bro, or fucking beach Slavic. 0.99

00:11:07.260 You know? 1.00

00:11:08.700 You know what I'm saying?

00:11:09.620 Like beach Croatian. 0.90

00:11:11.720 Croatian.

00:11:12.840 Beach Slavic. 1.00

00:11:14.200 Dude, I'm saying, bro. 1.00

00:11:15.420 They're fucking Slavs, bro. 1.00

00:11:16.780 They're about it. 1.00

00:11:17.180 Yo, them Slavs are wild, bro. 1.00

00:11:18.820 Dude, they are.

00:11:19.360 They're ladies. 1.00

00:11:20.040 Because they're white, but they're not. 1.00

00:11:21.860 Oh, they're not.

00:11:22.760 Right?

00:11:23.460 They're not, dude.

00:11:24.300 They're not.

00:11:24.600 You crack them open, dude.

00:11:25.500 There's a couple brothers in there.

00:11:26.500 There's a couple.

00:11:27.120 You know what I'm saying?

00:11:28.760 There's a couple brothers in the rib cage eating oranges, bro. 0.92

00:11:31.580 It's like them little Russian dogs. 1.00

00:11:34.680 Oh, okay.

00:11:35.540 You're going to get a brown one eventually.

00:11:37.100 Yeah.

00:11:37.440 Oh, there's Sheldrick.

00:11:38.780 Yeah.

00:11:39.860 That's a good question, though, man.

00:11:41.340 Like, yeah, well, it makes me think. 0.98

00:11:43.480 I love New York, but I'm a complete hypocrite, bro. 0.98

00:11:45.780 Now, tell me this. 0.97

00:11:46.440 Have you been able to get different?

00:11:47.600 Sorry, I interrupted you.

00:11:48.400 Go, go, go, go, go.

00:11:49.100 Have you been able to get different guests down in Miami that you wouldn't have been able

00:11:52.440 to get?

00:11:53.560 Not really.

00:11:54.280 I mean, like, we had your boy.

00:11:56.080 You got to tell me what happened with Chris Hansen, bro.

00:11:58.320 Because we had Chris Hansen on.

00:11:59.580 Yeah, you got to tell.

00:11:59.700 And then everybody kept hitting me like, yo, tell him to pay back Theo.

00:12:03.860 I was like, for what?

00:12:05.500 I thought they said tell him to pay back Theo.

00:12:07.900 And I didn't know if, like, you were involved in, like, to catch a predator in some way.

00:12:13.280 Oh, no, I've never done anything like that.

00:12:14.760 Okay, so, like, no, not.

00:12:15.940 I'll be honest, bro.

00:12:16.760 I had one girl.

00:12:17.740 He should show up here, though.

00:12:18.780 One girl sent me a message on IG, and I said, you are too young for me. 0.99

00:12:23.960 Now, could she work for you with the rest of the fucking children that you have in there, 1.00

00:12:29.960 dude? 1.00

00:12:30.520 Dude, dude.

00:12:32.360 That kid is of age.

00:12:33.540 How old are you? 1.00

00:12:33.840 That kid doesn't even know what the fucking Pythagorean theorem is. 1.00

00:12:36.300 This kid's nine years old, bro. 1.00

00:12:38.720 That guy fucking wrote it. 1.00

00:12:43.320 He's Asian, not Greek. 1.00

00:12:45.280 Dude, whatever.

00:12:48.120 Riley Mao, how old are you?

00:12:49.500 I'm 22.

00:12:50.440 There you go, bro.

00:12:51.000 He's 22, bro.

00:12:52.000 He's 22.

00:12:52.580 He's hairless, too.

00:12:53.400 All right.

00:12:53.780 And look, I'll tell you this.

00:12:55.020 Never.

00:12:55.840 He's hairless, so he looks younger.

00:12:57.080 Got his first pass.

00:12:59.400 He would be a great stuntman for Chris Hansen.

00:13:02.400 I asked Hansen, who picks the adult children?

00:13:06.700 What did he say?

00:13:07.520 He didn't answer.

00:13:08.660 That's a weird casting job.

00:13:10.360 Yeah.

00:13:10.860 Like, you look young enough.

00:13:12.760 I guess you, yeah.

00:13:13.460 How do you do that?

00:13:14.200 You go out to bars and just kind of see who looks real young?

00:13:17.760 I don't like that kind of stuff when somebody looks too young.

00:13:20.660 Yeah.

00:13:21.060 It's weird.

00:13:21.580 Especially as I get older, there becomes this governor in your head that tells you, this

00:13:29.700 is someone who has a book bag.

00:13:31.720 Yes.

00:13:32.120 You know?

00:13:32.700 Yes.

00:13:33.360 Like, that's where it is for me.

00:13:34.580 If somebody has a book bag, for any reason, right?

00:13:38.020 Even night school, whatever it is, for any reason, I know I don't, I should-

00:13:43.620 You don't like kids, and you don't like people further in their education around their job.

00:13:47.340 Right.

00:13:47.620 I understand you have a tough job, and you want to be a nurse.

00:13:52.760 Yeah.

00:13:53.240 But that's not for you.

00:13:54.180 Yeah, that's not for me.

00:13:55.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:56.040 That's one of the deterrents for me, I feel like, is a book pack, you know?

00:13:59.580 Yeah, I think that's a good one.

00:14:01.360 Yeah.

00:14:01.540 That's a good sign.

00:14:02.020 It keeps me, that stuff keeps me safe.

00:14:03.740 Because without the backpack, you'd be like, I need you.

00:14:07.220 Well, it's dangerous out there.

00:14:12.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:14:13.380 I mean, you look, you lucky you got fiancéed out.

00:14:16.300 Well, I did get fiancéed out there.

00:14:18.000 So you took, I'm not going to say you took the easy way out, but you took the easy way

00:14:21.640 out.

00:14:22.060 Easy way out, bro.

00:14:25.880 No, actually. 0.99

00:14:27.040 You left the rest of us out here in this Barnum and Bailey-ass fucking, I'm 17, I'm 27. 0.99

00:14:34.940 Yeah. 0.99

00:14:35.440 Thought universe.

00:14:36.500 Like, you know.

00:14:36.920 It's true.

00:14:37.820 You left it weird.

00:14:39.160 I'll ask you this.

00:14:40.480 Yeah.

00:14:40.740 Well, what happened to me, Chris Hansen, was this.

00:14:43.320 Yeah.

00:14:44.700 And there was, we put him up.

00:14:48.280 I'll ask you this.

00:14:49.920 This is what happened to me, Chris Hansen.

00:14:52.880 You're impossible to talk to, dude.

00:14:54.560 I'm sorry.

00:14:56.440 You're impossible to talk to, bro.

00:14:57.240 Guys, we both do this for a living.

00:14:58.480 No, let's talk.

00:14:59.180 We promise.

00:15:00.120 We both do this for a living.

00:15:01.660 I don't do this for a living.

00:15:03.580 Okay.

00:15:04.200 Tell me what happened to Chris Hansen, because I got inundated with messages.

00:15:06.960 People are upset at me for interviewing this guy, because I didn't know that he, I guess,

00:15:12.320 ripped you off or something.

00:15:13.780 There was extra charges at his room.

00:15:17.660 Where'd you put him up?

00:15:19.120 We put him up at the Four Seasons.

00:15:20.360 That's the, that's, you know what I mean?

00:15:22.300 You know what I mean?

00:15:23.400 So, look, bro.

00:15:24.200 You know what I'm saying?

00:15:24.820 You done made it.

00:15:25.740 Hey, T, you done made it, bro.

00:15:28.020 Four Seasons?

00:15:28.940 Look, bro.

00:15:29.460 We put him up at least the three seasons, bro.

00:15:32.120 Oh, he got all four.

00:15:33.680 According to those charges, my man was there for all.

00:15:36.960 Now, we put him up at the three Seasons, he ordered the fourth.

00:15:39.580 That's what I'm saying, bro.

00:15:40.740 How much extra charge?

00:15:42.000 It was about $1,200 for Autumn.

00:15:43.420 No.

00:15:43.880 That's what it was.

00:15:45.160 No.

00:15:46.060 Including room?

00:15:46.980 There was extra charges.

00:15:48.320 So, that's where it became a discrepancy, where it seemed like he was trying to not pay

00:15:53.340 the extra charges.

00:15:54.160 Okay.

00:15:54.840 And we kind of agreed on what the charges would be.

00:15:59.660 So, he felt like there was maybe gray area.

00:16:02.240 I don't know.

00:16:03.040 I'm not accusing him.

00:16:04.220 It just seemed obtuse at the end, I thought. 0.98

00:16:07.780 Because the story I heard, the way that, you know, the game of telephone changes shit 0.98

00:16:11.620 is that he tried to sneak out the hotel, and you had, like, an employee chase him down. 0.95

00:16:20.180 Yeah.

00:16:20.940 Like, on some not-so-fat, like, remember your show, sir?

00:16:24.280 Like, how ironic.

00:16:26.560 He leaves the hotel, he gets arrested.

00:16:28.300 And then forced him to pay the bill before he left.

00:16:35.560 That's what I heard.

00:16:36.400 I swear to God, I'm not making up any of this.

00:16:38.420 I swear to God.

00:16:38.860 And I got, like, 10 or 20 messages that were like this.

00:16:41.960 Here's what happened.

00:16:42.700 I had an assistant at the time.

00:16:44.260 Yeah.

00:16:44.420 And she was checking out what the bill was, what was going on.

00:16:50.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:51.080 And she was literally talking to the woman on the front desk as he was leaving the hotel.

00:16:56.240 And so-

00:16:57.280 It just so happened.

00:16:58.420 It just so happened.

00:16:59.360 And so, she, like, had to apparently speak with the lady and say, well, can you make, you

00:17:06.280 know, get a hold of him and get some charges out of him?

00:17:09.200 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:09.260 We got to get some charges out of him.

00:17:10.460 Yeah.

00:17:10.660 But with that said, I mean, the dude has done a lot for humanity.

00:17:16.620 And I don't mind putting him up for another couple nights.

00:17:18.680 Isn't it?

00:17:19.780 You know what I mean?

00:17:20.460 Like, there's a little part of you that's got to go, like, he stopped so many pedophiles.

00:17:24.120 Oh, totally.

00:17:24.960 He shouldn't have to pay for the hotel.

00:17:26.660 Yeah.

00:17:26.980 But you were like, he should have to pay a little.

00:17:29.300 He didn't stop enough.

00:17:31.060 He didn't stop what happened to me.

00:17:33.260 What if the whole thing wasn't set up?

00:17:35.980 Where were you when I was a kid?

00:17:39.100 What if that's the new show?

00:17:41.140 Where were you when I was a kid?

00:17:44.680 And it's just people. 1.00

00:17:46.040 It's just trash. 0.99

00:17:47.360 People rolling up on Chris Hansen and John Walsh and just sitting them down and saying, 0.98

00:17:53.380 look, man, where were you when I was a kid? 0.98

00:17:54.800 We asked him about the Epstein shit because it's weird. 0.98

00:17:57.920 Oh, wow. 0.99

00:17:58.180 Like, he did so much good.

00:18:00.520 Yeah.

00:18:00.720 Look, Chris Hansen.

00:18:01.400 Look, man, I'll say this.

00:18:02.460 The guy has done a ton of good stuff.

00:18:04.480 Yeah. 0.94

00:18:04.860 Like, to get in the way of those people, and I think a lot of those people are sick.

00:18:08.420 I don't know if a lot of people want to be touching kids. 0.57

00:18:10.920 I think it's a sick. 1.00

00:18:11.900 It's a fucking sickness. 1.00

00:18:13.220 I don't think it's a choice you make up in the morning, you know? 1.00

00:18:15.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:16.680 But so, and the guy's done a lot of stuff, man.

00:18:19.640 So, Chris, no matter what happened, bro, I'll put you up anywhere you want to stay for a couple nights moving forward, dog.

00:18:25.820 You know what I'm saying?

00:18:26.600 You keep the kids safe, baby boy.

00:18:28.340 That's what I'm talking about, bro.

00:18:29.120 Mia Schultz got you, son.

00:18:30.700 Wait, why am I in on this?

00:18:31.920 You're in on it.

00:18:32.800 We got you, dog.

00:18:35.540 We got you.

00:18:36.240 We got a kid right here, bro.

00:18:37.640 Yeah, we got two kids that you can save right now.

00:18:39.700 Chris, come to, I'm not going to give the address, but come to Wedgwood.

00:18:46.600 We out here.

00:18:47.400 This is our last episode here, actually, Chris.

00:18:49.340 Yep.

00:18:49.720 Oh, okay.

00:18:50.480 This is our last episode here, man.

00:18:51.840 Where's the new one?

00:18:52.800 Well, I don't know.

00:18:53.520 I'm not telling you.

00:18:54.320 I'm not telling Brendan.

00:18:55.480 I'm not telling him. 1.00

00:18:56.580 I'm not telling the police, because there's 15 more of his fucking cousins in there right now building the shit out. 0.99

00:19:01.900 I'm not telling Chris E.D. either. 0.99

00:19:04.820 The first kid that greeted me, I was like, oh, he looks kind of young. 1.00

00:19:07.660 And this guy's got on fucking bampers. 0.99

00:19:10.680 He's running the floor. 1.00

00:19:12.280 Like, what do you have here, a chocolate factory? 1.00

00:19:14.760 Who's running this shit? 1.00

00:19:17.980 Well, hello. 1.00

00:19:18.820 Is the Grilly Grieper growing? 0.96

00:19:24.920 Dude, he is, how old are you, man, again?

00:19:26.780 Tell him.

00:19:27.140 22.

00:19:27.400 22.

00:19:28.160 22.

00:19:28.620 He's American, dude.

00:19:29.540 Yeah.

00:19:29.860 Tell him you're straight American, aren't you? 0.92

00:19:31.140 I am.

00:19:32.020 Yeah, I never said he wasn't American.

00:19:33.260 There you go.

00:19:33.860 Well, look.

00:19:34.240 You said he was a boy.

00:19:35.220 Yeah, dude, but look.

00:19:36.420 I know there's racial connotation to everything.

00:19:38.840 Yeah.

00:19:38.980 Okay?

00:19:39.560 That's what people say.

00:19:40.460 You know?

00:19:41.420 And he's a good guy, man.

00:19:46.500 Good guy.

00:19:46.960 Yeah, Riley Mao.

00:19:48.000 An adult, right, Riley?

00:19:49.260 I am.

00:19:49.760 And where do you work at, Riley?

00:19:52.880 In Nashville?

00:19:55.100 There you go.

00:19:56.360 All right, there you go.

00:19:57.900 Let me ask you this, though.

00:19:59.060 This is pretty rehearsed, bro.

00:19:59.860 This is a good question.

00:20:00.340 You guys been working on this?

00:20:01.580 In case the cops come? 0.99

00:20:05.140 I don't know what his fucking problem is. 0.99

00:20:06.860 Where do you work at regularly, Riley? 0.99

00:20:08.160 What does Theo do after 10.30?

00:20:12.480 I don't know.

00:20:13.240 Where do you work at regularly, Riley?

00:20:14.460 What do you work at home before he goes to bed?

00:20:17.440 What's his favorite snack?

00:20:19.920 No, I let him run around on my back for a few minutes before I go to sleep.

00:20:22.700 I think Theo likes Cheerios.

00:20:27.220 Here's what I'm asking you, bro.

00:20:29.520 Dude, your mic is looking for you, bro.

00:20:33.000 It's just getting further.

00:20:34.680 Oh, look.

00:20:36.320 The other day, your mic put up a wanted poster that drew you on it, bro.

00:20:40.200 Have you seen?

00:20:43.680 It's just you in the picture, your hands in front.

00:20:45.880 Somebody got to prank me where they just cement it in.

00:20:48.480 I go to push it away.

00:20:49.900 I just throw myself up.

00:20:52.360 It's the new shake weight.

00:20:56.460 God, I'm sure.

00:20:57.860 He did 212 mics today.

00:21:00.280 Tell me this.

00:21:00.940 Do you think this is obviously a problem in our community of men communicating with, being

00:21:07.140 able to communicate with women who may or may not be of age?

00:21:10.420 Do I forgive Chris, Leo?

00:21:11.680 No, that's not what I'm asking you.

00:21:12.680 Okay.

00:21:13.160 I thought that's what you were going to do.

00:21:13.800 But hold on.

00:21:14.180 No, no, no.

00:21:14.500 I'm not at all. 1.00

00:21:15.120 There's some shit on your heart, it seems like. 0.99

00:21:16.580 But that's not what we're here for. 1.00

00:21:18.460 Okay?

00:21:18.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:19.640 Are you guys friends still or not?

00:21:21.340 Do you think that Chris and I are certainly both.

00:21:23.700 I mean, we were never like, Chris was hard to get close to.

00:21:26.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:27.380 And I think Chris will tell you that, too.

00:21:28.980 I mean, as long as I ever knew Chris, he was just honestly, man, he was on his phone

00:21:33.760 and he was hard to get to know at all.

00:21:35.860 Really?

00:21:36.500 I always thought that.

00:21:37.440 Because the outside perception was that you guys were homies.

00:21:41.060 Yeah, I don't think that.

00:21:42.000 We're certainly friends.

00:21:44.040 I mean, I think that.

00:21:45.080 Colleagues?

00:21:45.440 Was that a better word?

00:21:46.180 I think colleagues is a better word.

00:21:47.240 Work colleagues.

00:21:47.860 Yeah.

00:21:48.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:48.800 And I think, yeah.

00:21:51.400 I mean, I think I would have probably wanted to be better friends.

00:21:55.080 Yeah.

00:21:55.140 You know, I just think, like, Chris was popular before I had any popularity.

00:22:00.220 Right.

00:22:00.560 You know, and he was hard to get to know, you know?

00:22:05.500 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:06.120 But I think he was in his addiction, man.

00:22:07.780 I literally, like, when I think back on it, watching him, like, text women, it was like

00:22:11.740 watching somebody use heroin in front of you, but you don't think of it like that.

00:22:15.080 You don't think, like, oh, man, look how sick.

00:22:16.800 Like, literally, he could not stop.

00:22:18.960 Yeah.

00:22:19.760 So, you know, and I don't even think I'm talking out of turn.

00:22:22.200 Like, I suffer from addiction, so I know what it's like to have to, like, be in places where

00:22:27.140 you feel compelled by powers that are greater than you, kind of, to do stuff.

00:22:30.900 Yeah, you have a lot of empathy for that, it seems.

00:22:32.540 I think I do, bro.

00:22:33.480 Yeah.

00:22:33.800 But here's my question for you is this, man.

00:22:35.940 Do you think there should be some liability for Instagram and for these services that

00:22:42.240 allow people to connect?

00:22:44.340 I don't think that you should be able to follow anybody under 18. 1.00

00:22:47.240 Or communicate.

00:22:48.100 They can't put a barrier between young people and adults?

00:22:52.080 Like, how is...

00:22:52.900 You can't go to a movie if you're not 18.

00:22:55.680 Like, you need your parent to go to the movie with you if you're under 18.

00:22:59.780 But, like, Instagram, this is what I think is the worst that they're doing.

00:23:03.080 And, like, Snapchat and all them is not only...

00:23:07.080 And Snapchat is probably the worst. 0.99

00:23:08.360 That's why I don't even fuck with Snapchat. 1.00

00:23:09.660 But, like, they are forcing you to see shit you don't want to see. 1.00

00:23:15.820 Oh, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:23:16.580 It's like, surprise, here's a child.

00:23:18.100 Exactly.

00:23:18.520 Here's a child dancing suggestively.

00:23:20.560 And I'm like, nah, bro. 1.00

00:23:21.920 This is shit that's weird, bro. 0.99

00:23:23.740 It's just weird, dude. 1.00

00:23:25.340 Yeah, and here's a child. 0.98

00:23:26.180 It's also, like, a Chinese, like, information, like, data suck. 1.00

00:23:31.160 So I'm just like, fuck that as well. 1.00

00:23:32.920 Yeah, there's rumors of that. 1.00

00:23:34.260 I mean, it is.

00:23:35.960 It's not a rumor.

00:23:36.940 They're just like, yeah, we built it.

00:23:38.620 But I love how the data is just people with, like, pictures of, like, magical makeup on 0.97

00:23:43.440 and shit. 0.99

00:23:44.060 No, they're trying to turn Americans into pedophiles. 1.00

00:23:45.860 That's what they're like. 0.92

00:23:46.560 They're like, aren't 14-year-olds dancing?

00:23:48.160 Isn't that cool?

00:23:49.180 Isn't that awesome?

00:23:50.620 Dude, everybody's... 1.00

00:23:51.940 Our fucking president is sniffing children's hair. 1.00

00:23:55.660 How is that not our new national anthem? 1.00

00:23:59.460 It's just him sniffing hair to a fucking trap beat, dude. 0.98

00:24:03.400 Did you see him just give up on his speech the other day? 0.99

00:24:05.940 And my father said, anyway.

00:24:08.420 He forgot the word.

00:24:10.860 He forgot what he's talking about.

00:24:12.720 He just said, anyway.

00:24:15.600 Dude, I'm shocked.

00:24:18.100 Anyway, culpability you were saying about the action.

00:24:20.560 How is there not, like, how is there not a class action suit by any parents that have

00:24:25.940 ever had their kids who have been approached by adults through the app that that's not

00:24:31.380 illegal?

00:24:31.860 I mean, that's insane, bro.

00:24:32.720 If you made a pathway, if you allowed a company to dig a tunnel from my child's bedroom to 1.00

00:24:39.320 a fucking grown man's house, dude, I would show up at the company and assassinate everybody 1.00

00:24:43.320 in that bitch. 1.00

00:24:43.920 Yeah, 100%. 1.00

00:24:44.420 That's what I would do.

00:24:45.200 100%.

00:24:45.560 And that's the problem with some of these shooters. 1.00

00:24:46.840 They're shooting up the wrong fucking places. 1.00

00:24:48.400 There's people who need to get shot. 1.00

00:24:49.820 There's people asking for bullets. 0.98

00:24:53.840 No, it's true.

00:24:54.740 No, you make a good point. 0.99

00:24:55.720 Like, why do we not look at them and be like, why are you suggesting this shit to me? 1.00

00:24:58.440 And then they blame it on you. 1.00

00:24:59.440 They go, the algorithm knows what you like.

00:25:01.440 No, it don't. 1.00

00:25:02.900 Stop showing me shit. 0.99

00:25:04.980 They removed the dislike button. 0.99

00:25:07.560 Remember there was a dislike button?

00:25:09.000 They're like, you're going to get rid of it. 1.00

00:25:09.860 It's like, motherfucker, I can't even tell you to not show me young pussy, bro. 1.00

00:25:13.800 Like, I can't even tell you to do that. 1.00

00:25:15.680 You're going to remove my ability? 1.00

00:25:17.680 Nah, they're fucked up, dude. 1.00

00:25:19.080 They're fucked up. 1.00

00:25:20.400 Like, you look at someone's Explore page, it says a lot about them, bro. 1.00

00:25:23.540 Oh, mine is very... 1.00

00:25:25.280 Mine is all adult shit. 1.00

00:25:26.800 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:25:27.440 A little bit of 6'9".

00:25:29.160 Okay?

00:25:29.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:30.260 Okay?

00:25:30.620 You have to have it, dude.

00:25:31.880 Street fights?

00:25:32.860 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:33.460 A couple street fights on there. 0.99

00:25:34.900 And then, like, a couple of fucking, like... 0.98

00:25:38.520 What else is on there? 0.99

00:25:40.060 Oh, I watch Callen's...

00:25:41.360 I listen to Callen and Steve's new stuff.

00:25:43.840 Yeah.

00:25:44.400 You guys' stuff is on there.

00:25:45.860 And then women. 1.00

00:25:46.800 A lot of Russian women that I've sent the little hand emoji to.

00:25:49.520 You do hand emoji?

00:25:50.440 That's your opener?

00:25:51.100 Yeah, and I don't do it as much as I used to, which is kind of nice.

00:25:53.180 Yeah, yeah.

00:25:53.540 For a while, I was kind of like, are these women even... 1.00

00:25:55.260 But now, it's like some of them aren't even real, you know?

00:25:57.160 And does it matter?

00:25:59.300 I just...

00:25:59.940 At a certain point, for me, it's like giving away my... 0.99

00:26:01.860 It's like I'd rather just keep my own fucking chi, you know? 0.99

00:26:04.440 Got you. 1.00

00:26:04.780 I'm not serving my chi through this fucking dirty pipeline, you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:26:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:26:09.860 What is it doing for me?

00:26:11.460 What percentage of chi are you giving with a hand emoji?

00:26:15.080 I think you're giving away 5% of your chi on the day.

00:26:17.640 That's about 5% chi.

00:26:18.600 I think so.

00:26:19.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:19.340 Because it's like, do I have the control or not to let this thing influence...

00:26:23.540 ...me that much where I'm going to drop a hand to this Romanian? 1.00

00:26:26.560 I mean, you're going to drop a hand regardless.

00:26:29.380 Right, probably.

00:26:30.900 But at least drop...

00:26:31.680 The hand is getting dropped.

00:26:32.920 Drop it local.

00:26:33.580 It's whether or not she knows about it.

00:26:34.620 That's really what the hand is.

00:26:35.940 It's like, I'm going to use this.

00:26:38.580 Yeah, but I'd rather, like, you know, I'm going to hold on to this.

00:26:41.080 I hear you.

00:26:41.580 I hear you.

00:26:41.800 I'm going to keep a little bit of that energy so when I meet a girl at a cafe, 0.99

00:26:44.360 maybe there's a little bit more hoots but behind my fucking desire... 0.99

00:26:48.080 Interesting. 0.99

00:26:48.780 ...than to think that I've been already rejected 70 times this morning.

00:26:52.800 You know what I'm saying?

00:26:53.240 Like, I think some of that plays into how we operate, you know?

00:26:57.440 You see some dude, he's been rejected 9,000 times that month and he asks you out.

00:27:01.860 I think his energy is kind of probably going to be whack.

00:27:03.800 Yeah, you're probably right.

00:27:05.040 Then again, like, you ever have one of those friends that is impervious to rejection?

00:27:10.940 I'm not that friend.

00:27:12.540 But do you know what I mean?

00:27:13.280 Like, I had a buddy growing up who just could get rejected and it meant nothing.

00:27:16.240 Like, he was more embarrassed if he didn't go say hello.

00:27:18.900 Oh, wow.

00:27:19.620 Oh, I wish I had that.

00:27:21.120 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:21.660 Who gave him that?

00:27:23.760 Jamaica.

00:27:24.700 Oh, is it the comedian that was just here?

00:27:28.240 No, no, no, no.

00:27:29.040 Lil Duval?

00:27:29.820 No, I love Lil Duval. 0.63

00:27:30.840 I know.

00:27:31.120 I saw your video.

00:27:31.960 I watched y'all's YouTube videos.

00:27:33.540 It was sweet, bro. 0.94

00:27:34.280 Bro, he is the goat.

00:27:35.780 Lil Duval, I'm telling you, is operating on another level. 0.96

00:27:39.560 Is he?

00:27:40.080 That is-

00:27:40.740 That's what he said.

00:27:41.640 Another level.

00:27:42.900 And like, you got to be around him to get it.

00:27:45.320 And then when you're around him, you're going to really understand it. 0.98

00:27:47.460 And he's just like trying to communicate shit that he's understood, come up with in 0.98

00:27:53.300 the most digestible way possible. 0.96

00:27:54.780 But if you just sit and talk with him and he really kind of like gives you that part

00:27:58.600 of him, you're going to go, oh, this guy is an alien. 1.00

00:28:01.080 Damn. 1.00

00:28:01.600 He's the closest to alien that I've met. 1.00

00:28:04.260 Damn. 1.00

00:28:04.660 And no formal education. 1.00

00:28:07.540 Like, he literally said like, I didn't have like meals until I was rich.

00:28:11.180 Like, I grew up on appetizers.

00:28:12.580 Wow.

00:28:12.980 Like, the guy had nothing, but his just brain is different and he can absorb everything

00:28:17.160 and understand. 0.99

00:28:17.920 Like, he's just fucking genius, that guy. 0.99

00:28:19.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:20.440 Super genius.

00:28:21.640 Yeah, I wish I'd have gotten a new home.

00:28:23.420 I'm going to try to go.

00:28:24.000 I'm going to have to go see him next time he comes through.

00:28:26.100 Yeah.

00:28:27.020 We got another question came in here.

00:28:28.360 Let's play another one here, Rye.

00:28:30.080 What we got, Rye?

00:28:33.540 And where have you been, Rye?

00:28:34.480 Have you been doing a lot of church stuff or what?

00:28:36.920 No, I've been doing a lot of music videos.

00:28:39.420 Okay.

00:28:39.880 Church stuff.

00:28:41.660 What do you do in the church?

00:28:44.140 I run audio and video.

00:28:46.080 Oh, cool.

00:28:47.360 And you're an active member of your congregation, Rye?

00:28:49.580 What's that?

00:28:50.080 Are you an active member of your congregation?

00:28:51.940 Yeah.

00:28:53.100 The guys that built our studio in Brooklyn, that's a big part of their business, doing

00:28:58.360 AV for churches.

00:28:59.400 Yeah?

00:28:59.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:00.920 The thing about the church, I like the church show, but here's the thing about the

00:29:03.760 church show.

00:29:04.360 Okay.

00:29:05.200 They start being too nice, letting too many people get on the stage, bro.

00:29:09.940 Then they got the dude with the bell.

00:29:11.840 They got the handicapped dude.

00:29:13.420 They got the sign language.

00:29:14.780 They got the guy in the cage always, like in the screened off.

00:29:19.020 Why is that guy in the screened off stuff always?

00:29:21.700 Who knows?

00:29:23.300 Nobody knows.

00:29:23.940 Well, somebody should, man.

00:29:25.420 If y'all are running proper stuff up there.

00:29:27.040 There's just too many.

00:29:27.920 By the end of the year, it's like 19.

00:29:30.300 It's just, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:29:31.300 It's getting a little, yeah.

00:29:33.080 I want to let you know that insurance can be complicated.

00:29:36.040 Yep.

00:29:37.100 It can be damn confusing, really, insurance.

00:29:40.500 You don't know if you're insured.

00:29:42.760 Somebody throws something at you.

00:29:44.200 You hurt yourself. 1.00

00:29:45.240 Damn, well, who do I call? 1.00

00:29:47.480 You just call a 911 all the time? 0.99

00:29:49.440 They're like, we don't have any coverage on you.

00:29:52.720 And that's why you got to check out The Zebra.

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00:30:27.800 They don't sell it out there to the dang snow cone stand or, you know, to the tire shop.

00:30:33.640 So you got somebody offering you ice cold, tires, blood, tires.

00:30:37.720 It's got to stop.

00:30:40.520 You can save as much money as possible.

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00:30:44.700 If you want to find out, visit TheZebra.com slash T-H-E-O.

00:30:48.820 That's T-H-E-Z-E-B-R-A dot com slash T-H-E-O for insurance in black and white.

00:30:57.020 You may see me meandering down the street doing fitness, running, gunning.

00:31:04.520 You may see me making moves.

00:31:08.740 And I'm moving in Fabletics.

00:31:14.120 God. 1.00

00:31:15.280 You may see a damn flock of women running behind me. 1.00

00:31:18.020 A flock of birds. 1.00

00:31:19.940 Geese, baby.

00:31:20.840 Geet.

00:31:21.880 Mini geese.

00:31:23.680 What I'm talking about is Fabletics men. 1.00

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00:31:41.300 They keep it simple. 1.00

00:31:42.340 They cut the crap. 1.00

00:31:43.960 They focus on what counts. 0.99

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00:32:25.040 Go to Fabletics.com slash T-H-E-O for access to that insane deal.

00:32:32.060 Fabletics men. 0.83

00:32:34.220 Play this beautiful guy right here, man.

00:32:37.160 What up, Theo?

00:32:38.740 What up, Schultzies?

00:32:40.660 Juan from Kansas.

00:32:42.920 What's up, Juan?

00:32:43.940 And in this video, good to see my two favorite comedians, podcasters on the same post.

00:32:48.820 Let's go. 0.99

00:32:50.040 The fuck was I going to say? 0.99

00:32:51.100 Didn't you have that American flag in your old studio? 1.00

00:32:54.000 Shout out to you.

00:32:54.880 I saw you in Kansas City in the heat of COVID.

00:32:57.500 Theo, I haven't seen you because you're scared to go out, but I see you posting those videos on Instagram.

00:33:02.600 I'll be out, baby.

00:33:03.920 Anyways, Andrew, I'm getting married this summer.

00:33:07.140 Any tips on the speech?

00:33:09.740 As a groom, I want to give a speech.

00:33:12.020 That's good, man.

00:33:13.940 Yeah, how do you perform that?

00:33:15.960 Do grooms give a speech? 0.80

00:33:17.540 I thought you don't speak.

00:33:18.480 I thought everybody else speaks.

00:33:19.380 The friend's speech.

00:33:20.740 So, yeah, the guy doesn't know how it works, but that's his problem.

00:33:24.160 You know what I'm saying, bro?

00:33:26.040 Yeah, don't go.

00:33:26.600 Wouldn't it be great if he gives his own speech?

00:33:28.140 That's what advice is, just don't give a speech because that's how weddings work. 1.00

00:33:31.640 Right?

00:33:32.180 Yeah, that's the advice, bro.

00:33:33.640 There you go.

00:33:35.660 Everybody talks about you, and then they trash you and say that your life is amazing, and then the wedding's over.

00:33:40.820 Yeah, dude.

00:33:41.500 You don't say anything.

00:33:42.220 Yeah, it's mostly just trying to you just guessing if any of the dudes are ever hooked up with your lady.

00:33:46.980 That's what a lot of it is.

00:33:48.460 Dude, I'll be at a wedding, and I will tell the guy.

00:33:51.440 I just want to let you know if the wife has invited me, because I'll get invited by something about a wife's. 1.00

00:33:55.900 I will say, I have never had anything to do with your wife.

00:33:59.220 You just out of nowhere say that.

00:34:00.460 Yeah, because I feel like the guy.

00:34:02.120 If I'm the guy. 0.69

00:34:02.940 Does that fuck him up on the day of his wedding where he's like, why would you say that to me unsolicited? 0.99

00:34:07.120 Now I'm thinking that you smashed my wife to me. 1.00

00:34:10.060 Oh, yeah.

00:34:10.460 You can't be thinking like that.

00:34:12.000 You got to think like I think.

00:34:13.360 I'm trying to let you know.

00:34:14.800 I want you to feel safe that, hey, buddy, I just want to let you know I'm just here for food and to be supportive.

00:34:20.900 I've never even seen your wife.

00:34:22.420 And what if I'm like, I never thought that you saw her because you guys didn't grow up together, and you didn't even meet until today.

00:34:28.000 So why are you sharing this information?

00:34:29.640 Oh, yeah, that's true, huh?

00:34:30.440 Yeah, because I'm definitely going to think that you made love to my wife. 1.00

00:34:35.560 Oh, damn. 1.00

00:34:36.000 If you said that. 1.00

00:34:37.160 Damn, damn, damn. 1.00

00:34:37.980 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:38.280 Like if I came in here, and I was like, all the boys that you have working here at your factory, they never worked for me before you.

00:34:46.560 What would you think?

00:34:48.580 I'd be like, you know something about these boys.

00:34:50.400 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:51.540 Damn. 1.00

00:34:52.420 Damn, damn, damn. 1.00

00:34:53.500 I see. 1.00

00:34:54.340 Yeah, maybe I'll just have to think about it or kind of do a pro-con thing on it.

00:34:58.320 Yeah, maybe.

00:34:59.840 Yeah, I like to say that.

00:35:01.360 I'll say that to any girl I know who has a boy around, I will tell the dude, hey, man, I just want to let you know I never had anything to do with your lady, even if it's a lie sometimes.

00:35:11.700 I think I just want the dude to feel comfortable, bro.

00:35:14.660 Wait, do you have any friends that are dating girls that you've slept with?

00:35:18.580 I'm sure I probably do.

00:35:19.920 Currently?

00:35:20.220 Um, I don't know.

00:35:23.680 I don't have a ton of friends at the moment.

00:35:25.540 I mean, I have like, it's like, I'm not in between friends, but it's during COVID.

00:35:29.520 It's like, there's a couple guys who are your friends.

00:35:32.640 I mean, probably.

00:35:33.640 I probably have.

00:35:34.560 I have probably.

00:35:35.780 Who's the next person you're going to stop being friends with?

00:35:39.020 Have you already figured it out?

00:35:43.480 Have you already figured it out?

00:35:46.820 Have a seat.

00:35:52.680 Bro, I can't get over how good this show would be.

00:35:55.320 Where were you when I got molested?

00:36:00.400 That's right.

00:36:00.880 We never got to that.

00:36:01.780 Like, he did so much good.

00:36:03.400 But because he's the guy that stops molesters, you're looking at him like, where the f-

00:36:07.580 Like, come on, bro.

00:36:09.720 Epstein was at it.

00:36:11.760 Like, what were you doing?

00:36:13.600 What about some kid who's getting molested?

00:36:15.040 He's just waiting for Chris Hansen to come in the door because he saw the show.

00:36:17.940 And then, nope, nothing.

00:36:19.820 Oh, that's got to be heartbreaking.

00:36:21.400 Yeah.

00:36:22.320 Thailand.

00:36:23.720 Imagine how many people see Chris Hansen.

00:36:25.880 Oh, I hate even thinking about this.

00:36:27.260 This is the sick part about being alive sometimes is the thoughts you have.

00:36:30.800 Like, imagine how many people see Christopher Hansen and think, man, I got reminds him that

00:36:37.700 they got molested.

00:36:38.640 Yeah.

00:36:40.020 But you could also look at it like you might have got molested double if it wasn't for

00:36:44.000 Chris Hansen because maybe one of those other guys would have been molested, but he

00:36:49.180 stopped it.

00:36:49.640 Like, there's no doubt that he stopped a lot of molesting.

00:36:52.980 Yeah, because those guys just go.

00:36:54.920 It's just, it's like, yeah.

00:36:56.480 Yep.

00:36:57.840 It's, yeah. 1.00

00:36:58.580 Damn. 1.00

00:37:01.440 It's thick stuff, man. 1.00

00:37:02.700 What else we got, Riley?

00:37:03.480 Man, I want to bring up another question here because I don't know how to get out of where

00:37:06.460 we are.

00:37:09.060 A lot of pressure on you today, bro.

00:37:11.380 A lot of pressure.

00:37:12.820 Here we go, man.

00:37:14.600 Yo, Dio, Schultze, two of my favorites.

00:37:18.360 What up?

00:37:18.660 I'm finally seeing Schultz live this Saturday night show in Nashville.

00:37:24.380 Let's go.

00:37:25.560 I saw Theo a couple years ago in Lexington.

00:37:29.800 That's what's up.

00:37:30.500 Driving from Louisville, Kentucky, so I'm hyped for all this.

00:37:33.620 But question here.

00:37:36.040 Out of this list, who do you think is the most likely to have a successful presidential campaign?

00:37:43.160 And all this is possible in the climate we're in.

00:37:46.500 So here we go.

00:37:47.160 Alex Jones, Dr. Umar, AOC, or Logan Paul?

00:37:56.140 Okay.

00:37:56.700 What are we thinking?

00:37:58.280 Dr. Umar's that woman, right?

00:37:59.780 No.

00:38:00.200 Dr. Umar Johnson.

00:38:01.940 Pull him up.

00:38:02.880 Is the funniest guy unintentionally on the internet.

00:38:08.420 Okay, okay.

00:38:09.240 He is, he's, he's the prince of pan-Africanism, right?

00:38:12.760 Yeah.

00:38:12.960 So he's, it's like, uh, it's, it's, it's black empowerment.

00:38:17.320 And a lot of the stuff that he says is good.

00:38:19.740 It's right.

00:38:20.240 Care about the community, do all these things.

00:38:21.500 But it's to another level.

00:38:22.860 And some might say that he's a bit of a con artist. 0.97

00:38:26.220 He's been trying to build a school for just black boys. 0.57

00:38:30.100 And he's getting this money to build a school, but the school never has been built.

00:38:35.540 And he is quite, can you go to like a Dr. Umar Johnson highlight reel?

00:38:40.020 Yeah.

00:38:40.360 Let's go to YouTube, Raleigh.

00:38:42.040 Oh my God, dude.

00:38:43.500 I got to bring up something because it's just too good.

00:38:46.020 It's, it's too, too good.

00:38:48.900 He's a legend.

00:38:49.500 This guy is a legend.

00:38:51.300 Is he really?

00:38:53.300 Undeniably hilarious.

00:38:55.080 How are we looking, Raleigh?

00:38:57.420 Dr. Umar Johnson highlight video.

00:38:59.380 Can you get that?

00:39:00.340 Yeah.

00:39:00.940 Can I second?

00:39:01.460 I think there's also like threads on, uh, there we go.

00:39:06.460 Hold on.

00:39:07.420 Oh God, it's too good.

00:39:09.080 Let's see.

00:39:09.420 Which one?

00:39:09.860 Uh, let's do the top one there.

00:39:13.200 Let's see.

00:39:16.400 Oh no, this is just the Breakfast Club interview.

00:39:18.680 You need a highlight for him.

00:39:20.180 Okay.

00:39:20.840 But.

00:39:21.500 Let's go back, Raleigh.

00:39:23.720 Yeah, I wish, I wish I had the video up.

00:39:26.320 Oh my God.

00:39:27.440 Hold on.

00:39:28.540 There we go.

00:39:29.020 Part one.

00:39:29.560 Hit it.

00:39:30.460 All right, let's see what we got here.

00:39:31.420 Comedy unconscious.

00:39:32.420 There's no cap.

00:39:33.340 No cap.

00:39:34.880 I haven't gotten any donations lately.

00:39:36.780 We need some donations.

00:39:38.340 Dollar sign FDMG.

00:39:39.860 School.

00:39:40.740 Get them donations in.

00:39:42.340 If you want to donate to the Black Parent Tour to help Dr. Umar with my expenses, dollar sign Dr. Umar Johnson.

00:39:48.920 Dollar sign Dr. Umar Johnson.

00:39:50.960 Yeah.

00:39:51.140 If you're a single, beautiful, nappy-headed, intelligent, voluptuous black woman, send your resume to Dr. Umar Johnson at Yahoo.com. 1.00

00:40:03.020 Damn. 1.00

00:40:03.360 If you are a single, beautiful, nappy-headed, voluptuous black woman, send your resume. 1.00

00:40:11.180 Is he serious? 1.00

00:40:11.900 I'm in your ass. 1.00

00:40:13.420 Lenore Honor, I'm in your ass. 1.00

00:40:15.820 William Clay, I'm in your ass. 1.00

00:40:18.400 Gerald Palmer, I'm in your ass. 1.00

00:40:20.880 Anti-Spingali, I'm in your ass. 1.00

00:40:23.500 Who's he talking about? 1.00

00:40:24.060 In Lucas, Africa, I'm in your ass. 1.00

00:40:26.340 Fuck court. 1.00

00:40:27.260 Fuck the court. 1.00

00:40:29.240 Strong alpha male. 1.00

00:40:30.740 Send those resumes in.

00:40:33.260 FDMGresumes at gmail.com. 0.98

00:40:35.720 Damn, he has a lot of email addresses, doesn't he? 0.99

00:40:38.320 How hard is this to fucking log in for, my man? 1.00

00:40:42.640 It sounds like a fucking nightmare. 0.98

00:40:47.200 All right, maybe we didn't choose the right highlight, but trust me, this guy's good. 0.99

00:40:51.120 It's already good.

00:40:52.240 I promise. 0.98

00:40:53.400 It's already fucking good. 0.96

00:40:54.840 I wish we came with more heat, bro. 0.97

00:40:57.000 I gotta come with the links next time. 0.99

00:40:58.480 Damn, dude. 1.00

00:40:59.240 Yeah, what the fuck, bro? 1.00

00:41:00.640 That was kind of a bomb right there. 1.00

00:41:02.540 It's kind of a big bomb.

00:41:03.800 I feel really bad.

00:41:04.660 I know how poor, you know, dead air is on a podcast.

00:41:08.060 What was the question?

00:41:09.180 I don't know, dude.

00:41:10.860 Oh, yeah.

00:41:11.500 Who would you want to be?

00:41:12.840 Who has a realistic chance at present?

00:41:14.680 Oh, yeah, who's a realistic president?

00:41:15.760 Logan Paul, probably.

00:41:17.420 You think?

00:41:17.980 I don't.

00:41:18.600 Oh, wait.

00:41:19.000 Logan, maybe.

00:41:20.140 The most realistic chance.

00:41:21.980 I thought the other guy.

00:41:23.240 Somebody just offered me a jet from here to go watch the brother fight.

00:41:26.300 Would you take it?

00:41:26.560 Alex Johnson?

00:41:27.120 Yeah.

00:41:28.020 Wait, Alex Jones?

00:41:29.280 No, no, no.

00:41:29.680 To watch the brother, Logan Paul's brother.

00:41:31.460 Oh, oh, Jake.

00:41:32.600 Yeah, I can't decide if I want to go or not.

00:41:34.020 Oh, yeah.

00:41:34.520 If you can go, go.

00:41:35.640 Are you kidding?

00:41:36.360 It's going to be a great event.

00:41:38.720 You think so?

00:41:39.440 100%.

00:41:39.760 Yeah.

00:41:40.480 Yeah, maybe I'll go.

00:41:41.700 Yeah. 0.97

00:41:42.260 There's going to be like performances and shit. 0.97

00:41:43.880 They know what they're doing. 1.00

00:41:44.720 Wait, is it that triller shit again? 1.00

00:41:46.140 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:46.560 Oh, dude.

00:41:47.360 I didn't like it. 0.99

00:41:48.080 Bro, I felt like I was stuck at a fucking nightclub in Jacksonville. 0.99

00:41:51.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:52.120 That's the whole thing I don't like, dude.

00:41:54.420 Maybe that's why I liked it.

00:41:55.800 I was at Florida, bro. 0.96

00:41:56.420 There was just some bad lights and people fucking basically looked like a couple of rappers wandering 0.99

00:42:01.960 around singing while they were looking for their fucking car keys. 1.00

00:42:06.080 And then they would cut to some fucking box. 1.00

00:42:08.700 The boxing was fucking bad. 1.00

00:42:10.080 I thought it was bad. 0.99

00:42:11.320 Really?

00:42:12.200 Yeah.

00:42:12.520 I loved it, bro.

00:42:13.640 Did you?

00:42:14.400 Yeah.

00:42:14.800 I really liked it.

00:42:16.600 Yeah, I don't know why.

00:42:17.440 I mean, maybe it was just cool to see Mike Tyson fight again.

00:42:20.120 It was cool to see Roy Jones fight again.

00:42:21.860 And then it was shocking to see Jake Paul just completely obliterate Nate Robinson.

00:42:27.760 Yeah, that was crazy.

00:42:28.260 Dude, and a lot of people thought Nate was going to win that probably.

00:42:32.600 Yeah.

00:42:33.300 That's just racism.

00:42:34.420 Yeah.

00:42:35.200 But that's like.

00:42:36.680 That's racism the other way.

00:42:38.220 Is it?

00:42:38.860 Yeah. 0.99

00:42:39.660 It's like I can't beat a black guy in a fight. 1.00

00:42:42.560 That's what people just looked at. 0.99

00:42:44.160 They're like, there's no way that white guy can beat a black guy in a fight. 0.97

00:42:47.460 And then people are like, yeah, but he's like six inches taller and he weighs more. 0.97

00:42:52.120 People are like, yeah, but.

00:42:53.140 But he's a white guy.

00:42:54.900 His name is Jake.

00:42:56.280 There's no way that he can win in a fight. 1.00

00:42:58.600 And it turns out that motherfucker can fight. 1.00

00:43:00.420 That's crazy, bro. 1.00

00:43:01.720 That's the thing about being able to fight. 0.99

00:43:03.280 You can't really talk much shit to that person afterwards. 0.98

00:43:07.140 Like all the people who just like clown Jake Paul and make fun of Jake Paul, that kind of stopped. 0.98

00:43:12.160 Yeah. 0.97

00:43:12.520 Like the famous people, like all of a sudden, like Snoop Dogg and shit are like hanging with 0.92

00:43:16.120 him. 0.58

00:43:16.320 Like when he, I remember Jake Paul did a music video with like Gucci Mane and everybody was 0.78

00:43:22.240 like teasing him and shit about it. 0.88

00:43:23.940 And now all of a sudden, all these rappers want to hang out with him. 0.93

00:43:27.020 Right.

00:43:27.240 Everybody wants to hang out with the Silverback, man. 1.00

00:43:30.040 Everybody wants to hang out with the guy who's knocking people out.

00:43:32.260 That's a good point, huh?

00:43:33.020 Yeah.

00:43:33.420 I bet your boy's going through that right now.

00:43:35.680 Who's that?

00:43:36.220 Dustin.

00:43:37.440 Oh, yeah.

00:43:38.340 I'm sure.

00:43:38.900 Oh, I know he's been.

00:43:39.820 Yeah.

00:43:40.120 People have been trying to get him to do everything.

00:43:41.480 He said, stop.

00:43:42.620 Yeah.

00:43:43.580 Driving gloves.

00:43:44.420 He said somebody hit him up to a model driving gloves.

00:43:46.460 I'm like, Jesus, man.

00:43:47.860 For golf?

00:43:48.600 Huh?

00:43:48.960 No.

00:43:49.320 For driving autos, bro. 1.00

00:43:51.380 Like the taxi cab drivers in New York and shit? 1.00

00:43:53.760 Like Roaring Twenties kind of shit, too. 1.00

00:43:55.880 Whenever I get into a taxi cab and the guy had gloves, I was like, bro, we're about to 0.99

00:43:59.080 be early.

00:43:59.700 Like, this guy came ready to work, bro.

00:44:05.460 Who's putting on?

00:44:07.040 Dude, how strenuous is holding the wheel?

00:44:09.620 We got power steering now, dude.

00:44:12.140 People drive with their knees, dude. 0.99

00:44:14.220 There are people who have no arms and they go to work by driving with their fucking feet 1.00

00:44:20.100 and you got full on gloves to hold the wheel. 0.99

00:44:24.080 The wheel is made out of gloves.

00:44:25.920 They made it easier for you.

00:44:27.780 They just put the glove on the wheel.

00:44:31.140 It's unbelievable.

00:44:32.780 What could it possibly do?

00:44:34.520 I don't know.

00:44:35.240 I don't know.

00:44:35.720 After a long day of drive, you think you take it off and you're like, thank God, I'm sweating.

00:44:41.260 He's in the laundry.

00:44:42.740 But I think they're weighted to help you get like...

00:44:46.060 No, he's wearing weighted driving clothes. 0.99

00:44:49.340 Have you fucking seen America, dog? 1.00

00:44:52.200 People are wearing complete bullshit. 1.00

00:44:54.440 There was a weighted swimming neck brace that two people fucking drowned in. 1.00

00:44:59.780 That they had a lawsuit like eight years ago. 0.98

00:45:02.280 Why would anybody wear weights in the pool? 1.00

00:45:05.280 Because they're fucking idiots, dude. 1.00

00:45:07.420 Have you been alive? 1.00

00:45:09.680 Have you fucking been outside of your eyes? 1.00

00:45:13.980 No. 1.00

00:45:14.620 People are retarded, bro. 1.00

00:45:17.440 A weighted swimming device? 1.00

00:45:19.560 People are legally retarded and then there's people that are just after that. 0.99

00:45:23.420 Yo, that's the thing that's crazy.

00:45:25.160 Is it like we have to decide when a retard starts? 1.00

00:45:27.800 Right.

00:45:28.160 And there are people who are just not retarded and we call them normal. 0.97

00:45:32.360 Dude, there's no that...

00:45:33.680 Yeah.

00:45:33.880 That first little IQ point right there.

00:45:37.480 Those people walking around barely getting by.

00:45:40.780 Yeah.

00:45:41.660 Like every once in a while want to make one of them moans. 1.00

00:45:45.340 That little fucking Jurassic Park moans. 1.00

00:45:48.520 There is a... 1.00

00:45:49.520 Yeah.

00:45:50.080 Okay, Alan. 0.99

00:45:51.060 His parents just let him go outside and just fucking turn around and just look at each other. 1.00

00:45:56.220 They gotta hold in that fucking sound so nobody knows. 1.00

00:46:05.780 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:06.240 They gotta hold that shit in. 1.00

00:46:07.740 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:46:08.300 Just looking around.

00:46:14.620 It's like a mosquito.

00:46:16.080 Who do you...

00:46:16.740 Yeah, dude.

00:46:21.520 That's like a mosquito, dude.

00:46:23.440 Bro.

00:46:23.840 Bro, I realized yesterday how weird is this.

00:46:26.080 Tell me if this is racist or not, dude.

00:46:27.480 Okay, go. 0.99

00:46:27.800 Because you're the closest thing we've had to a black guest in a while, dude. 1.00

00:46:31.620 Is the U.S. postal system basically just like giving mail to a black guy and hoping it gets where it's supposed to go? 0.93

00:46:39.080 That's what I feel like, bro. 0.75

00:46:43.140 That's what I realized the other day. 0.70

00:46:44.820 That the U.S. postal system today is basically just like hand in the mail to a black guy and hoping he cares enough for it to go where it's supposed to go. 0.99

00:47:02.180 Is that not fucking the truth? 0.99

00:47:09.520 Like, go mail something, bro. 0.99

00:47:14.820 Go mail something.

00:47:18.900 Yeah, you might be on to something.

00:47:21.140 Yeah, no homeowner or nothing, but like... 0.99

00:47:23.540 It's fucking crazy, bro. 0.99

00:47:27.940 What did you get lost, bro? 0.99

00:47:30.280 I mean, it's just a lot of things, bro.

00:47:33.280 A lot, right? 1.00

00:47:33.900 Bro, U.S. postal system, shit is... 1.00

00:47:36.060 It's 50-50 shot. 1.00

00:47:37.620 Remember when someone tried to fix it and then America was like, stop!

00:47:40.980 This doesn't work.

00:47:43.500 And they're like, stop!

00:47:45.520 Stop it! 0.99

00:47:46.700 And he was like, no, you don't understand. 0.99

00:47:48.860 It's just handing it to a black guy and maybe he brings it. 1.00

00:47:51.540 And then they were like, stop trying to make it better, you dickhead! 1.00

00:47:57.100 What the fuck are you thinking? 1.00

00:47:59.320 He's like, but maybe there's a better system even for them. 0.99

00:48:01.800 Like, we could give them an address or something to get your postage to. 0.99

00:48:05.460 And America's like, fuck you for wanting us to get our mail! 1.00

00:48:11.920 Piece of shit! 1.00

00:48:13.120 Yeah, are you crazy, guy? 1.00

00:48:14.900 Dude, the anxiety of working there. 1.00

00:48:16.140 Do you think we want our white mail fucking traveling around the country anymore? 1.00

00:48:20.540 This shit has to stop, dude. 1.00

00:48:22.540 But just imagine being that poor black guy. 1.00

00:48:24.820 They just give you a satchel full of shit. 1.00

00:48:27.500 And you're like, do you know where any of this shit... 1.00

00:48:30.000 Go! 1.00

00:48:31.200 Deliver it!

00:48:32.420 Yeah, but I was just wondering if I should...

00:48:35.040 Should not...

00:48:35.960 Is there like a route?

00:48:37.480 Is there anything? 0.98

00:48:39.660 Dude, how many black dudes out there are just pretending they're Santa every day? 1.00

00:48:44.380 And just fucking putting mail wherever? 1.00

00:48:47.480 Bro, how many fucking... 1.00

00:48:49.500 Bro, bro, have you ever seen it like a mail person... 1.00

00:48:53.180 Are we racist or not, bro?

00:48:54.380 No, but have you ever seen a mail...

00:48:55.280 Will they just let us know?

00:48:58.140 Every day I go to my mailbox and I'm thinking there's going to be a letter and it's just going

00:49:03.320 to say yes or no.

00:49:05.960 But it never comes.

00:49:12.280 Just tell us, man.

00:49:15.460 That was a good laugh.

00:49:21.180 It was a good laugh, man.

00:49:23.360 But we're no closer to an answer.

00:49:27.080 We never will be, man. 0.99

00:49:28.600 Shit's getting wild, you know? 1.00

00:49:30.040 They said that... 0.99

00:49:31.420 What did I see the other day?

00:49:32.480 They're thinking about doing a movie with black Christopher Columbus, 0.97

00:49:34.580 which just fucking blew my mind, you know? 0.98

00:49:36.800 Really? 0.97

00:49:37.480 Yeah.

00:49:38.340 I mean, that's actually kind of cool.

00:49:41.480 You know, I fell off at the Black Annie. 1.00

00:49:43.660 So from the beginning, I was out.

00:49:45.440 You know, like the forced...

00:49:48.720 Because otherwise, I want to see white Amistad. 0.98

00:49:51.260 You know what I'm saying?

00:49:51.620 I want to see the other way.

00:49:52.300 I want to see Japanese Amistad or I want to see, you know, ginger Amistad.

00:49:57.500 Yeah.

00:49:57.940 You know?

00:49:58.760 That would be kind of sick.

00:50:00.800 Yeah.

00:50:01.420 Ginger Amistad.

00:50:03.060 Wouldn't that be crazy?

00:50:04.540 Yeah.

00:50:05.820 Bunch of gingers on a ship. 0.99

00:50:07.980 Yeah.

00:50:08.500 That's like Vikings.

00:50:09.620 That was the Vikings.

00:50:10.580 Yeah.

00:50:11.200 Right?

00:50:12.300 Yeah.

00:50:12.660 But not doing well, you know?

00:50:14.240 Or having a tough...

00:50:14.900 Yeah.

00:50:15.260 Being like...

00:50:15.860 Steerage.

00:50:16.420 In steerage.

00:50:16.780 In steerage.

00:50:17.680 Yeah.

00:50:18.920 Yeah.

00:50:19.320 You don't like the forced diversity.

00:50:22.200 I don't like it.

00:50:23.540 Yeah.

00:50:23.740 I just don't think...

00:50:24.460 I get it.

00:50:25.200 I get like there's some need for it in some places.

00:50:28.140 But it's like unless you're doing it everywhere, I just don't think it helps.

00:50:32.340 I think in the end, things have to be merit-based.

00:50:34.440 Because otherwise, you can't say like at this company, you got to have this.

00:50:38.220 But over here, this company, you don't ask.

00:50:40.460 You know?

00:50:40.680 It just kind of...

00:50:41.740 Yeah.

00:50:42.060 And I think it rubs people the wrong way after a while.

00:50:44.520 Yeah.

00:50:44.740 I don't think it works for anyone.

00:50:47.820 Yeah.

00:50:48.180 Because the communities that are being quote-unquote represented aren't really being represented

00:50:55.020 because they're just taking a black person and making them play a traditional white role.

00:50:58.580 Yeah.

00:50:58.800 So like the black community is not going, yeah, that's us. 0.95

00:51:01.200 They're going, no, you're just acting like that white guy. 0.93

00:51:03.180 Yeah.

00:51:03.300 Like, hey, Alvin, you're a businessman today.

00:51:05.440 He's like, huh?

00:51:06.540 You know?

00:51:07.040 It's like...

00:51:07.840 When like, if you want to tell a story about a black businessman, you could easily do

00:51:12.860 that.

00:51:13.220 Easily.

00:51:13.700 There are tons of stories about black businessmen.

00:51:15.180 Yeah.

00:51:15.620 That's what I like. 0.99

00:51:15.880 But they're so fucking lazy in Hollywood. 1.00

00:51:18.060 And they're so racist. 1.00

00:51:19.700 This is how racist Hollywood, they're like, wait, do you think people would care about 0.96

00:51:22.520 a black person's story? 1.00

00:51:23.980 Fuck no. 1.00

00:51:24.760 Just make them James Bond. 1.00

00:51:26.700 Right?

00:51:27.020 That was like a hundred years of Hollywood.

00:51:29.440 Yeah.

00:51:29.640 That's what I don't understand how black people are like, so like, don't y'all see that Hollywood 1.00

00:51:34.680 didn't give a fuck about y'all. 0.99

00:51:36.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

00:51:37.440 For so long.

00:51:39.160 Like, Virgil Tibbs was y'all's only dude forever.

00:51:42.040 I don't even know that.

00:51:42.440 Forever?

00:51:42.940 That's in the heat of the night.

00:51:43.920 Can you pull up Virgil Tibbs, please, brother?

00:51:45.680 Jesus Christ, man.

00:51:46.820 Jesus. 1.00

00:51:47.080 Can't get this fucking guy to work here. 1.00

00:51:48.780 Unbelievable. 1.00

00:51:49.580 Come on. 0.96

00:51:51.440 Un-fucking-believable, dude. 0.99

00:51:54.760 But yeah, dude, it is a little fucked up when you think about it like that. 0.98

00:51:58.780 Well, it just doesn't behoove anybody. 0.97

00:52:01.080 Does it?

00:52:01.400 I don't know.

00:52:01.700 There you go, Virgil Tibbs.

00:52:02.660 Oh, yeah, dude, this is from Sneakers.

00:52:05.220 Yeah, this is from In the Heat of the Night.

00:52:07.160 Yeah, of course, of course.

00:52:08.220 But-

00:52:08.760 He was my favorite, man.

00:52:10.240 Oh, no, no, Virgil Tibbs.

00:52:11.400 Whoopsie.

00:52:11.720 My bad.

00:52:12.200 And that is Hercule Poirot, I think, his other guy.

00:52:16.120 And that's from Raisin in the Sun.

00:52:19.160 Dude, first of all, is Raisin in the Sun a racial term?

00:52:22.220 Or I feel like-

00:52:23.000 It's super racist, but can I say what I said was really racist, but it wasn't?

00:52:27.400 I said Sneakers, right?

00:52:28.880 Because I was thinking of Sidney Poitier, right?

00:52:31.140 Mm-hmm. 0.98

00:52:31.900 And I looked, and I was like, but that guy looks like Sidney fucking Poitier. 1.00

00:52:35.800 And then I was like, ah, shit, am I racist? 1.00

00:52:37.700 Am I making two black people look the same? 1.00

00:52:39.740 No.

00:52:40.440 The third picture says what underneath it?

00:52:44.180 Third picture.

00:52:46.180 Sidney Poitier.

00:52:46.960 So the one that I looked at was Sidney Poitier.

00:52:49.640 Well, one of them is a movie, and one of them is a television show.

00:52:53.560 Virgil Tibbs is the character, and Sidney Poitier played him in the movie.

00:53:00.640 Ah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

00:53:03.600 But, yeah, and I love now how Hollywood is like, oh, yeah.

00:53:10.380 Yeah.

00:53:11.020 That's a thing.

00:53:12.040 It's like-

00:53:12.560 Yeah.

00:53:13.420 I wish people would just understand Hollywood only-

00:53:16.640 Yeah, it's a business, right?

00:53:17.580 It's a business.

00:53:17.660 I try to attach more to it, and that's one of my problems sometimes.

00:53:20.920 I'll attach more.

00:53:21.780 And then it lets us down.

00:53:22.200 Yeah.

00:53:22.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:53:23.160 Oh, yeah, man.

00:53:23.700 They don't want me this and that. 0.99

00:53:25.040 They're just a fucking business that thinks they're run really, really, that thinks they're 0.99

00:53:28.720 great. 1.00

00:53:29.500 That's also a thing about them.

00:53:31.360 And I'm like-

00:53:31.820 It's one of those things where, like, I feel like they set it up almost like McDonald's 0.99

00:53:35.500 where, you know how, and this is not to insult motherfuckers who work at McDonald's, 1.00

00:53:38.800 but anybody can work at McDonald's. 0.99

00:53:41.280 Mm.

00:53:41.980 Like, they set it up so that-

00:53:44.000 Yeah, you're right, actually.

00:53:44.700 Anybody can work at McDonald's because they even do, they do everybody from down syndrome

00:53:48.140 hires to full-fledged capable hires.

00:53:51.340 Exactly.

00:53:52.060 Right?

00:53:52.660 Yeah.

00:53:53.020 So, they've got the whole spectrum.

00:53:55.600 And it's a brilliant business in that way where anybody can go in there and pretty much

00:53:59.860 figure it out.

00:54:00.540 And then you can improve and become a manager and do all these other things.

00:54:04.240 But, like, the lower level positions right there, anybody can kind of do, and they set

00:54:07.560 it up that way.

00:54:08.140 Mm-hmm.

00:54:09.160 And I feel like for a little while, Hollywood set up the system so well that they could insert

00:54:14.580 whoever they wanted.

00:54:15.840 Mm-hmm.

00:54:16.060 And it kind of worked out.

00:54:17.840 Right? 0.96

00:54:18.220 Like, there were a few actors and there were a few, like, movie franchises and shit, and 0.80

00:54:21.220 you were just like, do people like this guy? 0.99

00:54:23.680 Like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:54:24.440 But I'm still gonna watch it because that's what's on TV. 1.00

00:54:26.400 Yeah.

00:54:26.720 You know?

00:54:28.000 And I do think that the internet kind of exposed that. 0.99

00:54:31.780 Like, when you think about it, we just talk shit for hours, and that's better than a TV 0.98

00:54:38.960 show that they spent tens of millions of dollars on. 0.99

00:54:41.140 That's crazy.

00:54:41.540 Yeah. 0.97

00:54:41.780 Like, you and I have just made retard sounds. 0.93

00:54:45.200 There was a part of this podcast where we just made retard sounds, right? 0.95

00:54:48.040 I only made one, but yeah.

00:54:49.220 But you did a couple because you did the mosquito. 0.71

00:54:50.640 You did a couple.

00:54:51.200 You did more.

00:54:52.060 No, dude.

00:54:52.720 You did the most.

00:54:53.420 Yeah, but you did the baritone one.

00:54:54.800 Take that, King of the Sting, okay?

00:54:56.420 You eat your weird foods. 0.98

00:54:57.820 We're out here, and we're making retard sounds. 0.99

00:55:01.660 You guys are bad friends. 1.00

00:55:05.620 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:55:07.440 You guys are both two guys that I told I wouldn't do podcasts with. 0.99

00:55:10.900 That's who you guys are. 0.99

00:55:14.020 So let's fucking go. 1.00

00:55:17.540 God's fired. 1.00

00:55:19.180 Bobby Lee, you taking that?

00:55:21.360 Santino, you taking that?

00:55:22.880 Bobby Lee's not even awake right now, and it's 4 p.m. in the afternoon.

00:55:27.280 Guy texted me at 2.49 a.m. the other day asking me a normal daytime question.

00:55:33.660 What'd he ask? 1.00

00:55:34.780 I love that motherfucker so much. 0.99

00:55:37.020 Haven't seen you in a while. 0.99

00:55:38.740 Is that? 0.99

00:55:39.660 The fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:55:42.380 That's because I'm fucking day-turnal, fam. 1.00

00:55:46.540 Tighten up, dude. 1.00

00:55:48.620 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:55:50.620 Yeah, man. 1.00

00:55:51.240 I don't know if-

00:55:51.900 He runs a tight ship, bro.

00:55:53.140 I remember during Corona, I went over there to do his podcast.

00:55:56.460 No, they were on a good ship.

00:55:58.320 And him and his girl, Kalilah.

00:56:01.420 Oh, yeah.

00:56:02.140 Yeah, they're great.

00:56:03.740 And I came with the crew, right?

00:56:07.020 And they wouldn't let the crew in because of Corona.

00:56:11.100 Wow.

00:56:11.780 Yeah.

00:56:12.400 Yeah, they got real specific.

00:56:14.060 They got a new home, too.

00:56:15.680 And they don't want a lot of people in their new home.

00:56:18.120 I think her parents have, like, potential comorbidities.

00:56:21.260 Oh, really?

00:56:21.560 So she was taking it crazy serious, and I get that.

00:56:24.720 Yeah.

00:56:25.280 Because, you know what I mean?

00:56:25.880 That was back in the day.

00:56:26.620 Like, if you're old, you just die.

00:56:28.560 At least that's what we thought.

00:56:30.080 So I do understand that. 0.99

00:56:31.640 But I was like, okay, look at how responsible fucking Bobby is, bro. 0.99

00:56:34.640 Bobby was the wildest boy. 0.99

00:56:35.920 Hey, and now this guy's a grown-ass responsible man.

00:56:38.940 Yeah, man.

00:56:39.880 I mean, they're great.

00:56:41.460 They're really great over there.

00:56:42.740 I love Bobby.

00:56:43.600 Bobby, I'll say this.

00:56:45.300 He always comes through when you need him.

00:56:47.580 Bobby comes through when you need him, man.

00:56:48.780 Really?

00:56:49.180 Yeah.

00:56:49.720 Has he been there for you?

00:56:50.820 He has.

00:56:51.640 Bobby comes through when you need him.

00:56:54.860 And it's fun, man.

00:56:55.840 Look, we get to play in this world of, like, doing podcasts and, like, you know.

00:57:02.240 This is absurd, what we get to do. 0.68

00:57:03.560 We get to talk to freaking legends. 0.98

00:57:05.980 Legends. 0.96

00:57:06.520 You know?

00:57:07.540 Like, I mean, we get to talk to legends.

00:57:10.260 Yeah.

00:57:10.900 You know?

00:57:11.560 Like, I got to talk the other day.

00:57:12.800 We had Bobby Kennedy Jr. on, right?

00:57:16.820 But I'm just saying, like, we had a Kennedy on.

00:57:19.380 Is he the anti-vax guy?

00:57:20.640 Yeah.

00:57:21.100 He's a safe vax.

00:57:22.800 Safe vax.

00:57:23.620 What does that mean?

00:57:24.420 He just wants the vax to be tested for a decent amount of time in a decent way before

00:57:27.900 they give them to people, which isn't really-

00:57:29.560 That's kind of reasonable, bro.

00:57:30.360 I agree.

00:57:30.840 Like, why do we call him crazy, man?

00:57:33.240 I agree, bro. 0.99

00:57:33.820 Yo, before you inject me with some crazy shit, can you, like, look at it a bit? 0.99

00:57:37.720 Yeah, that's all he's saying. 1.00

00:57:38.980 Dude, who's running the vaccination program?

00:57:40.720 The USPS, bro?

00:57:41.740 Is that what? 1.00

00:57:42.400 Yeah, the USPS is just like, take this shit and fucking run with it. 1.00

00:57:47.260 Do your best, fam. 1.00

00:57:48.640 Do your best, fam.

00:57:50.780 And this guy's out there like, yo, can you just look in the ingredients?

00:57:54.020 Can you look at the ingredients?

00:57:55.820 Can I get a nutrition fax or whatever? 1.00

00:57:57.860 Give me the back of the Snapple, bro, for this fucking vaccine? 0.99

00:58:01.300 Isn't that crazy you get a vaccine and don't even have the back of the Snapple, bro? 1.00

00:58:05.020 That's not-

00:58:05.820 That is crazy, bro.

00:58:06.980 Yeah.

00:58:07.560 Don't even tell you.

00:58:08.500 Just show me the back.

00:58:09.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:58:09.900 Just show me the back where it says it got this much sodium and this much sugar and this

00:58:14.540 much added sugar.

00:58:15.500 Where the riboflavins at, dude?

00:58:17.160 Just show me the back.

00:58:18.060 How many riboflavins you got, dog?

00:58:22.040 I think that's fair.

00:58:23.340 I think that's very fair.

00:58:24.840 Are you getting vax?

00:58:25.640 I don't want to come out as an anti-vaxxer, but I don't think, I would say no.

00:58:30.920 Like, I don't think I need the vax and I would like to wait a year or two to make sure everything's

00:58:34.960 cool.

00:58:35.720 I grew up in a community where they, when they had the vaccine for polio, they created 0.99

00:58:41.820 it in my community in Louisiana.

00:58:43.460 Louisiana, and it gave cervical cancer to millions of women, millions of women in America. 0.92

00:58:49.320 But the government had already made it.

00:58:51.540 They'd already created and spent all the money to make so much of it that they had the, because

00:58:56.720 it also got rid of polio. 1.00

00:58:58.840 But the cost was your pussy got to get taken out. 1.00

00:59:02.060 Do you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:59:04.480 I don't have a pussy, bro. 1.00

00:59:06.080 Do you know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:59:08.380 I'm going to be honest with you. 1.00

00:59:09.540 That sounds like a pussy problem. 1.00

00:59:14.280 As a non-owner. 0.99

00:59:15.760 I'm sorry.

00:59:19.660 They out there stealing Bugattis.

00:59:21.300 I don't got a new guy. 1.00

00:59:27.340 Y'all pussy, son. 1.00

00:59:29.140 That's all my, bro, how great is 6ix9ine? 1.00

00:59:31.420 All he does, he walks into a fucking, he walks into a Johnson and Murphy at the airport. 1.00

00:59:36.520 He's like, y'all pussy, son. 1.00

00:59:38.840 Meek Mill, y'all pussy. 1.00

00:59:40.360 I love it. 1.00

00:59:40.880 Look at this right here, bro.

00:59:42.920 That dude drops more hand bombs than anybody I've ever met.

00:59:45.820 The most.

00:59:47.180 Dude, he's, do you see a documentary about him?

00:59:49.240 The Hulu one?

00:59:50.260 Yeah.

00:59:50.480 No, I haven't seen a Hulu one.

00:59:52.240 It was so great because it just shows, yeah, all these rappers are afraid to kill anybody

00:59:56.260 anymore because everybody's making money.

00:59:57.780 So now you can just rip them to shreds and there's no consequences.

01:00:02.000 He found it out.

01:00:02.780 He figured it out.

01:00:04.280 And that's what I appreciate about him so much is that like, I don't like, how do I say this?

01:00:11.920 Like, if you made your wealth in blood money, I don't like you morally grandstanding.

01:00:18.480 Like, I'm okay if you make your money dirty, but don't tell me how to be good.

01:00:23.720 Right.

01:00:24.300 You know what I'm saying?

01:00:24.920 So it's like, it was a lot of rappers for like a moment who like their whole career bragged 0.99

01:00:29.740 about horrible shit that they were doing. 0.98

01:00:31.780 Like Benny Hinn. 0.99

01:00:32.640 I don't know who that is.

01:00:34.540 He's not a rapper, but like a speaker kind of.

01:00:38.060 Go on.

01:00:38.340 Anyway, I said nothing.

01:00:39.620 Anyway, but you know what I'm saying?

01:00:40.940 It's like, if you're talking about how much you kill people, sell drugs, and do that other 0.97

01:00:44.780 shit, and then you're also like, we need to take care of our communities. 0.99

01:00:47.940 It's like, bro, I've been listening to three albums of you murdering your community, bro. 1.00

01:00:51.100 You know what I mean?

01:00:51.680 Like, now if you want to make a change in your life, that's great.

01:00:57.200 I'm with it.

01:00:57.700 A hundred percent.

01:00:58.180 Yeah, yeah.

01:00:58.500 Awesome.

01:00:59.200 Like Nas.

01:01:00.560 Boom.

01:01:01.440 There you go.

01:01:02.020 Or if you just want to tell the story.

01:01:03.240 Did I get that right?

01:01:04.040 Yeah, Nas.

01:01:05.020 Yeah, thanks, man.

01:01:05.760 Nas, we call Nas. 0.98

01:01:06.700 But like, if you want to tell the story, look, you can do whatever the fuck you want to do. 0.98

01:01:09.860 Right. 1.00

01:01:10.080 But I could also go, man, shut your fucking ass up. 1.00

01:01:12.460 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:13.180 You know what I'm saying?

01:01:14.000 Like, I'm going to send out an orange juice all of a sudden.

01:01:15.940 And if I start selling orange juice, it's going to seem like, come on, man.

01:01:18.940 Yeah.

01:01:19.300 You don't really know anything about this.

01:01:21.080 Exactly.

01:01:21.500 Especially if your whole life, you're like, you are totally against fruit.

01:01:25.500 Yeah.

01:01:25.880 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:26.200 And I don't care if you get proper nutrition or fucking beverages or not. 0.99

01:01:29.360 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:29.500 It's like, for example, if you rode so hard for New York and you swore you would never leave New York.

01:01:34.240 You know what I mean?

01:01:34.720 And then a pandemic came and then you moved to Miami. 1.00

01:01:38.960 Like, that type of person would be a hypocrite. 1.00

01:01:41.240 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:41.720 A piece of shit, even. 1.00

01:01:43.500 And I might not even ever listen to what a guy like that would say. 1.00

01:01:46.520 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:46.860 That'd be fucking flagrant. 0.98

01:01:48.140 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:48.440 It would be super flagrant.

01:01:49.480 It would be super flagrant. 1.00

01:01:51.320 Like, what an asshole that guy would be. 1.00

01:01:53.400 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:01:53.960 Like, realistically, fucking scumbag. 1.00

01:01:58.600 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:01:59.520 Especially if he was like, yo, anybody who leaves New York right now is a fucking pussy. 1.00

01:02:03.340 I'm never leaving. 1.00

01:02:04.640 And even posted a meme from the Wolf of Wall Street about how I'm not leaving.

01:02:08.300 Like, if he did that type of thing.

01:02:10.680 Let me see if I see anybody like that in here, bro.

01:02:16.640 Let me see.

01:02:20.660 Are you?

01:02:25.460 No, bro.

01:02:26.080 I'm Hippocrates, man.

01:02:27.240 I tell you.

01:02:27.520 Dude, I like it.

01:02:28.220 Hey, you got.

01:02:29.320 There's no.

01:02:30.040 That's the thing about also about all of this.

01:02:32.100 I think the listeners all recognize in the end, it's all just people.

01:02:35.400 You're just trying your best.

01:02:36.440 You're talking so much. 1.00

01:02:37.260 You fucking got to hit. 1.00

01:02:38.220 You got to come against your own tail. 1.00

01:02:39.500 This idea that, like, we got to be locked into the way we feel for the rest of our life.

01:02:43.820 Like, nah, bro. 0.99

01:02:46.300 I'm a hypocrite. 1.00

01:02:47.760 We're all hypocrites. 1.00

01:02:48.880 If you say you're not a hypocrite, you're a fucking hypocrite. 1.00

01:02:52.900 Want to let you know that the new Be Good to Yourself hoodies are sold out. 1.00

01:02:56.560 But they'll be back in stock soon.

01:02:58.920 The original Be Good to Yourself hoodie is back in stock now.

01:03:02.620 And summertime designs are coming soon.

01:03:05.240 That's right.

01:03:05.820 Go to Theovahn.com slash store.

01:03:08.460 We also would love for you to contribute exciting content to the podcast.

01:03:13.100 You can do that through Theovahn.com.

01:03:16.600 Submit unique TikToks and videos and supplements and things that you see.

01:03:20.820 That's right.

01:03:22.120 Or you can email them to tpwproducer at gmail.com.

01:03:28.160 Thank you for being a part of the podcast.

01:03:30.980 Today's episode is brought to you by Liquid Death.

01:03:34.380 This episode is brought to you by Modify and the last website you'll ever need.

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01:04:52.780 These guys don't F around, gang.

01:04:55.980 We had a guy named Quincidence in our town, which was cool.

01:04:59.700 Quincidence?

01:04:59.780 Yeah.

01:05:00.340 He used to work at the Bed, Bath & Beyonds.

01:05:02.440 You had a Bed, Bath & Beyond?

01:05:04.060 Yeah.

01:05:04.360 That's a pretty bougie store.

01:05:05.980 Yeah.

01:05:06.360 It was in Slidell, which was like the town here I was by.

01:05:10.980 Dude, we used to go camp out at the mall.

01:05:12.600 We would go there, go to the mall, and then camp in a tent outside and go back in the

01:05:17.700 next day.

01:05:18.320 Why?

01:05:18.920 Yeah.

01:05:19.320 Just to be at the mall, man.

01:05:20.860 The mall was sick?

01:05:21.780 The mall was good.

01:05:23.820 Did you enjoy your childhood?

01:05:25.120 I think I did in hindsight.

01:05:28.240 It was just scary. 0.96

01:05:29.120 I felt like it was scary because it was like a lot of dangerous kind of whites and dangerous 1.00

01:05:33.080 blacks. 0.97

01:05:33.660 I felt like I was also like real scared.

01:05:35.780 So I think I was like scared of everything, you know?

01:05:38.560 But I was also like, you know, and I could do anything I wanted. 0.99

01:05:42.800 There was nobody keeping, you know, like, you know, I was supposed to drink milk and fucking 0.97

01:05:47.980 be alive for like 15 years. 0.98

01:05:49.540 Like that was like kind of the fucking guidance, you know? 0.99

01:05:52.640 No one took care of you. 0.97

01:05:53.240 Yeah, there was just no like, like everything was like, yeah, it was just kind of like nobody

01:05:59.100 ever checked in to see what was going on. 0.95

01:06:00.880 It was just fucking, it was like somebody started me at the top of a hill. 0.83

01:06:06.160 Yeah, I may check in with you sometime. 0.99

01:06:11.960 But in hindsight, it was fun, you know?

01:06:13.920 Yeah.

01:06:14.580 But we lived in a fun area, man.

01:06:16.820 We lived in a fun area.

01:06:17.600 You just speak about it a lot.

01:06:18.960 And I think in a way that's, I don't know, loving.

01:06:23.240 And like cherished.

01:06:24.800 But the stories can often be traumatizing.

01:06:28.020 But I don't know, it seems like you're kind of happy with them.

01:06:30.260 Yeah.

01:06:31.020 I think for a long time I wasn't because I think they were traumatizing.

01:06:34.180 And then you've kind of dealt with them and accepted them?

01:06:36.640 Yeah.

01:06:36.880 I just think as I grow older, I realize that, well, also we need good stories.

01:06:41.580 There's not a lot of people out there telling stories anymore.

01:06:44.440 It's almost like in Hollywood, everything gets so like chopped down, I feel like, a lot of times that they don't let you tell the good story or even the true story.

01:06:51.740 Like you can't tell a story like, and you can't tell a story a lot of even true stories about like race and stuff sometimes because they act like sometimes as a white person.

01:06:59.120 And if you say the word black, or if you say it, or if you say something about like, like two of my best black friends got killed by other black guys, right? 0.82

01:07:06.080 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:06.380 So I don't, like, that shit makes me mad, right? 0.99

01:07:11.000 When I see a lot of stuff like First 48 and those type of shows where there's a lot of black on black crime and you see there's white people making money off the show. 1.00

01:07:18.340 I'm sure if you follow the makers of the show, it's going to get a little fucking. 0.97

01:07:22.760 Money's not going back into the community of Memphis. 0.94

01:07:24.820 Yeah, it's not, right?

01:07:26.080 Right, right. 0.98

01:07:26.720 It's not going into fucking Memphis. 0.99

01:07:28.820 And let's just say Memphis, okay? 0.99

01:07:30.520 I think Memphis needs it.

01:07:32.080 Yeah, yeah. 0.96

01:07:32.520 They're just going, I hope someone gets murdered in this 48-hour period because that's what the show is. 0.95

01:07:37.560 There's a producer of that show that is going to work every week going, I hope someone gets murdered. 0.99

01:07:42.440 Jesus Christ. 0.96

01:07:43.200 That's a tough way to make it. 0.99

01:07:44.420 Oh, damn, it's Easter. 1.00

01:07:45.480 Fuck, it's always slow around this time of year. 1.00

01:07:47.120 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

01:07:47.740 Yeah.

01:07:48.000 Yeah, dude.

01:07:49.360 Groundhog's Day.

01:07:49.980 We're going to have another three weeks of winter or whatever. 0.82

01:07:52.380 But I just feel like sometimes it's like if I say that, man, I feel like sometimes it just scares me how much black on black crime there is, 1.00

01:08:01.020 that people think that I'm against, like, I want black people to live and prosper. 0.98

01:08:06.160 I don't, it's not like I'm going to then think it's a, like, that black people are bad. 0.80

01:08:10.020 Does that make any sense? 0.91

01:08:11.180 Yeah.

01:08:11.380 I think that the tricky thing with that is just, like, all crime is usually committed within the same race because most people just live around their race.

01:08:20.020 Right.

01:08:20.300 So I think the term to a lot of people is, like, well, black on black crime is white on white crime. 0.99

01:08:26.880 Like, white people are murdering white people. 0.99

01:08:28.500 Like, all these serial killers often are just murdering white chicks. 1.00

01:08:31.500 Like, you watch any of these documentaries, just a white dude murdering white chicks. 1.00

01:08:34.480 That's not white on white crime. 0.99

01:08:35.720 And that's easy, too.

01:08:36.760 Let's be honest, bro. 0.97

01:08:37.580 Dude, it was so easy to murder people. 1.00

01:08:38.460 Where's the white dude murdering black chicks, bro? 1.00

01:08:41.100 Dude, that? 1.00

01:08:42.040 Yeah, yeah.

01:08:42.800 That right there? 0.99

01:08:44.520 That right there is, like, fucking Tuskegee Airmen. 0.99

01:08:47.820 Yeah, yeah, what is that? 0.99

01:08:48.900 You need, like, a science experiment.

01:08:50.840 Yeah, you need a plane.

01:08:51.680 Stuff like that, dude.

01:08:52.300 You're going to need a plane. 1.00

01:08:53.560 All these serial killers are pussy, bro. 1.00

01:08:55.620 You're just going after white chicks? 1.00

01:08:57.440 Yeah, dude. 0.99

01:08:57.680 Go to the hood, Richard Ramirez.

01:08:59.100 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:08:59.740 Pussy-ass motherfucker. 1.00

01:09:01.440 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:09:02.400 That's true. 0.98

01:09:03.320 These black chicks start fighting back. 0.99

01:09:04.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:09:05.220 Snuffing the dick. 1.00

01:09:06.560 Bro, I couldn't. 1.00

01:09:07.300 Calling the cops.

01:09:07.640 I got them.

01:09:08.200 I got them.

01:09:08.860 We got them.

01:09:11.280 They had this black girl in my class going up. 1.00

01:09:13.220 I could not breathe deep without this chick seeing me from across the fucking class. 1.00

01:09:17.300 Like, she just always had a beat on whatever I was doing, dude. 1.00

01:09:21.120 I think she thought I could maybe, you know, just end up being a crazy person or something. 0.99

01:09:25.620 So, I just, anytime I even, like, would be like, I fucking noticed you. 0.99

01:09:29.860 I fucking, yes, yes. 0.99

01:09:30.720 We not shooting at the school today, Dio. 1.00

01:09:32.840 No.

01:09:34.140 No.

01:09:36.480 No.

01:09:37.400 Maybe black on black, because maybe you just see more.

01:09:39.640 I mean, maybe it's because there's shows like that, you know?

01:09:42.500 Yeah.

01:09:42.980 I don't know, but.

01:09:44.080 I mean, there's no doubt that there's black on black ground. 0.99

01:09:46.440 I don't think anybody denies that.

01:09:47.700 Right, but what I hate is, or maybe it's, and it could all be in my head, but it's like, 0.57

01:09:51.220 if I say that, I feel sometimes like, oh, then people think I'm against black people. 0.88

01:09:55.620 It's like.

01:09:56.240 No, no, no.

01:09:56.880 I don't think that.

01:09:57.700 You want to protect black people.

01:09:59.100 Yeah.

01:09:59.320 I want, I just want everybody.

01:10:01.480 Yeah.

01:10:01.720 I don't know.

01:10:02.300 You know that there's a disproportionate amount of crime in that community, and you just want

01:10:05.840 that to stop, right?

01:10:07.180 Yeah, or it just, like, bums me out.

01:10:08.980 And it seems almost like there's way more news or media attention to when, like, the

01:10:14.640 police do something to a black person than when black people are affected within their

01:10:18.360 own community. 0.97

01:10:19.180 Yeah.

01:10:19.300 It just seems that way, because the media is selling the sexiest story.

01:10:23.060 Yeah.

01:10:23.340 Like, right now, stop Asian hate is the story.

01:10:26.240 And a few years ago, it was anti-Muslim violence was the story, right?

01:10:30.700 So anything happened to a Muslim, that was the. 1.00

01:10:33.560 Or slams. 0.96

01:10:34.600 We call them slams, actually.

01:10:35.880 Slams, you know what I mean? 1.00

01:10:37.540 Raleigh, you get a lot of Asian hate wherever you're from? 0.63

01:10:39.800 You get it?

01:10:40.680 I don't.

01:10:41.400 And we got a real Asian right here. 1.00

01:10:42.640 And what do you say about it?

01:10:44.940 If somebody throws something at you, that's hate, right?

01:10:48.200 Yeah.

01:10:49.020 What'd they throw at you?

01:10:50.180 No, but I'm just saying if.

01:10:51.240 I'm trying to see what is Asian hate. 0.88

01:10:53.920 I know it's shootings. 0.96

01:10:55.220 That's easy.

01:10:56.360 Yeah, man. 0.90

01:10:57.340 It's tricky with the Asian hate, though, because the tough thing about Asians is, like, they're 1.00

01:11:02.340 like Asians that are here way longer than maybe either of us. 0.79

01:11:05.840 Like, they've just been here forever.

01:11:07.420 But because they look Asian, I think there are certain Americans that just don't see

01:11:11.240 them as American, you know, just for whatever reason.

01:11:14.900 Like, I think the idea of America for a lot of people is white and black, even non-racist

01:11:21.480 people.

01:11:22.340 They're just like, white and black people, that's what makes up Americans. 0.98

01:11:25.560 Right.

01:11:25.900 And everybody else just kind of got to, like, pick an identity or side.

01:11:31.000 So if you're Asian or if you're, like, Indian or you're, what's another one? 0.99

01:11:35.000 I don't know.

01:11:35.520 Some other one.

01:11:36.300 Russian.

01:11:36.440 You just got to go, how am I going to act?

01:11:38.580 Am I going to act kind of, like, culturally white or am I going to act culturally black? 0.54

01:11:42.480 Oh, that's true.

01:11:43.100 Well, I think, but, and also some of it is just because those are our two kind of leading

01:11:46.760 vibes in the country.

01:11:48.260 And they're the most, they're the most prevalent and they've been here the longest.

01:11:51.460 Yeah.

01:11:51.820 Right?

01:11:52.140 So everybody kind of tried to fit.

01:11:53.380 I'm sure if we moved.

01:11:54.400 If I moved to China, I start, look, by day four, boom, I get, I will get a little bit

01:11:59.380 Chinese.

01:12:00.040 Yes.

01:12:00.260 I'll start to kind of, yeah, I'll do just little things that I see them do.

01:12:03.340 I start to do it.

01:12:03.920 Bow a little bit.

01:12:04.200 Yeah.

01:12:04.460 For sure.

01:12:04.700 I start to do it.

01:12:05.240 I move quickly. 1.00

01:12:06.280 Take a shit on the sidewalk. 1.00

01:12:07.100 Yeah, dude, I'll do whatever. 1.00

01:12:08.120 Just take a shit on the sidewalk. 1.00

01:12:09.460 Fit in. 1.00

01:12:09.700 I'll cough into my fucking child's mouth so it doesn't get out into the air. 1.00

01:12:14.000 But they'll do that kind of stuff, bro. 1.00

01:12:15.480 The Chinese, dog, let's be honest about the Chinese. 1.00

01:12:19.660 That's one thing I don't like sometimes.

01:12:21.540 It's like, America, we have to make every moment in America acceptable for everyone in 0.98

01:12:26.040 some magical fucking way. 0.99

01:12:27.640 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:27.840 Bro, you go to fucking, dude, I went to a bar, I went to China, they don't give up. 1.00

01:12:34.060 Bro, you die in China, they make a fucking soup out of you, they feed the fucking team. 1.00

01:12:39.380 People are hungry, bro. 1.00

01:12:40.300 Two billion.

01:12:40.380 And they cruise.

01:12:41.700 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:42.480 Shit moves on, dog. 1.00

01:12:43.620 Shit moves on. 1.00

01:12:44.200 I mean, and they'll do that in an eight minute set, bro. 0.99

01:12:47.820 And that's just how they, it's not like, life doesn't, I'm not saying their lives aren't

01:12:52.120 as important as anybody else, but life doesn't, the way we feel about life doesn't mean it's

01:12:56.620 not the same.

01:12:57.160 We're individuals and important.

01:12:58.120 Yes.

01:12:58.920 And everybody should care about us.

01:13:01.180 And there, the community is more important.

01:13:04.360 Yes.

01:13:04.540 And the individual is not as valued.

01:13:06.720 And the individual serves the community.

01:13:08.200 I think the idea of the mask is not, you're going to get me sick.

01:13:12.900 The idea of the mask is, I'm sick, I might get you sick, and I don't want to be a burden

01:13:18.920 on my community.

01:13:20.160 That's the Asian idea of the mask, which is pretty lit when you think about it.

01:13:23.880 But of course, when we see Asians with masks like five years ago, like, or three years before 1.00

01:13:27.300 Corona, we're just like-

01:13:28.360 Michael Jackson fan.

01:13:30.020 Yeah.

01:13:30.420 Michael Jackson fan, or we're just like, what are you trying to say?

01:13:33.500 Our air's dirty?

01:13:34.920 Right.

01:13:35.280 You know, what are you trying to say?

01:13:36.280 We got disease.

01:13:37.680 Like, we saw it as an insult instead of them being considerate.

01:13:40.860 Oh, yeah.

01:13:41.860 Yeah.

01:13:42.220 And that's part of it, just the vibe in America is like, I can do whatever.

01:13:46.420 It's about me.

01:13:46.740 And we've had so much freedom.

01:13:48.180 Yeah.

01:13:48.560 We've had so, we have extra freedom.

01:13:50.940 Freedom is lit.

01:13:51.120 Freedom is lit if you know what freedom is.

01:13:53.380 But if you never have freedom, you don't care.

01:13:55.860 Right.

01:13:56.480 You know what I'm saying?

01:13:56.960 Right.

01:13:57.260 Oh, yeah.

01:13:57.860 Like, you don't know what you're missing.

01:13:59.280 Exactly.

01:13:59.720 Like, I'm sure there's guys that do some, like, crazy sex move or whatever like that. 0.64

01:14:03.700 Right?

01:14:03.960 And, like, once they know what it is, they love it.

01:14:06.500 Their girl loves it.

01:14:07.220 But, like, I don't know what that is.

01:14:08.380 I don't know that. 0.96

01:14:08.960 So, I don't know what the fuck I'm missing out. 0.91

01:14:11.300 So, I'm good. 0.95

01:14:12.060 Yeah.

01:14:12.340 And I think that's what we think people in China are like, don't you miss this freedom?

01:14:16.160 You got to do whatever the government tells you.

01:14:17.500 And they're like, we never had freedom.

01:14:19.180 Yeah.

01:14:19.360 This is all we know. 1.00

01:14:20.200 And everybody around us gets this same shit. 1.00

01:14:21.900 So, it's fine. 1.00

01:14:22.800 Yeah.

01:14:23.120 And it works.

01:14:23.880 It works.

01:14:24.460 And I'm wondering, I'm starting to wonder if maybe we're getting to the part of capitalism

01:14:28.220 where things don't really work as cool as it once did.

01:14:31.780 Do you think about that sometimes?

01:14:32.860 Yeah.

01:14:33.220 Because, like, I wonder if, like, capitalism is just, like, your teenage years.

01:14:39.120 Right.

01:14:39.960 And then, like, because America's young.

01:14:42.880 Like, that's what people got to realize.

01:14:43.960 This is a good podcast, man.

01:14:45.020 I just realized that.

01:14:45.500 This is fun.

01:14:45.960 This is fun.

01:14:46.400 But, like, America's so young, bro.

01:14:48.620 Like, Europeans, I think a lot of times they, like, judge us, right?

01:14:52.040 Europeans?

01:14:52.820 I think.

01:14:53.600 Yeah, they got all the history.

01:14:54.640 They got all the ships.

01:14:55.620 But I'm telling, like, that's why I said, I'm like, guys, one, we don't care because

01:14:59.860 nobody cares about y'all.

01:15:01.080 But at the same time, like, you had thousands of years to develop your culture in ways.

01:15:05.280 Right.

01:15:06.460 We're figuring it out.

01:15:08.100 We just got money.

01:15:09.240 All of us.

01:15:10.020 Yeah.

01:15:10.580 We're poor.

01:15:11.540 Everybody came from poverty.

01:15:13.840 Like, yeah, my dad probably came for a little money.

01:15:16.460 But if you go to his dad or his dad, poor.

01:15:19.340 My mom, poor. 0.57

01:15:21.040 Right.

01:15:21.480 Everybody in America is a few generations, or 99% of people are a few generations away from

01:15:26.640 dirt poor. 0.67

01:15:27.520 Yeah. 0.86

01:15:27.960 So we got some money.

01:15:29.000 So we're going to spend the money.

01:15:30.140 We flex them right now.

01:15:30.920 Except you see what the Slims are doing out there in the Middle East, right?

01:15:33.340 Mali Perka.

01:15:34.100 Yeah.

01:15:34.220 Yeah.

01:15:34.920 They're building islands out of sand. 1.00

01:15:36.300 They look like fucking palm trees. 1.00

01:15:37.480 Oh, they're building sand pussies out of sand. 1.00

01:15:38.340 Sand pussies. 1.00

01:15:39.040 That's insane. 1.00

01:15:39.740 Sounds like a diss to somebody who would say. 1.00

01:15:41.760 Bunch of sand pussies out there. 1.00

01:15:43.400 But you know, so like. 0.99

01:15:44.860 But they're making them.

01:15:45.600 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:45.860 They're building snow out of fucking sand. 1.00

01:15:47.780 It's crazy what they're doing. 1.00

01:15:48.820 Yeah.

01:15:49.160 What they're doing.

01:15:50.220 They're making cold sand.

01:15:51.780 Cold sand.

01:15:52.380 They figured it out.

01:15:53.840 But you're right.

01:15:54.660 It's like, yeah, we're in this teenage years. 1.00

01:15:56.980 But I wonder how does this shit end? 1.00

01:15:58.800 It goes to socialists. 1.00

01:16:00.000 I don't even like saying it because it sounds like some like Bernie shit or whatever. 0.99

01:16:03.660 Like, oh, we got to give everybody money, blah, blah, blah. 0.98

01:16:05.360 But I think what happens is it becomes like Europe is a thousand years ahead of us.

01:16:10.780 Right.

01:16:11.120 And I think they're like, OK, in order for us not to have this crazy division, in order

01:16:16.340 for us not to be killing everybody, in order for us not to everybody hate each other, we

01:16:20.780 kind of need to spread the wealth in a way and provide health care in a way where everybody

01:16:25.680 has a decent opportunity at success in this country. 0.95

01:16:29.420 That's I think that's what it eventually gravitates to, because there's a reason every fucking 0.96

01:16:33.560 country in Europe has the kind of similar socialist system. 0.96

01:16:37.040 And every country in Europe is a few thousand years old.

01:16:40.060 So I assume we don't have to force it now, but I assume we will slowly gravitate towards

01:16:46.700 that.

01:16:47.600 And we kind of are already when you think about it.

01:16:49.820 But a lot of that is also rich people just hiding behind the government to make poor people

01:16:54.460 feel OK.

01:16:55.120 Yeah.

01:16:55.660 Which is also OK.

01:16:56.680 Yeah, I don't I don't know exactly.

01:16:59.400 I don't know the long term effects of that, though.

01:17:01.600 Rich people hiding behind the government to make poor people feel OK.

01:17:04.100 What does that mean again?

01:17:05.500 I don't know.

01:17:06.160 Is that socialism?

01:17:07.500 I don't know exactly what socialism is.

01:17:09.620 I think it's just tax a little bit more and like giving poor people a little bit more

01:17:12.920 so they're not struggling.

01:17:13.820 Right.

01:17:14.140 Right.

01:17:14.740 Right.

01:17:15.320 And I think we're in a yeah, like and I think there's also going to be some disconnect

01:17:19.580 at certain points.

01:17:20.300 Letting poor people struggle here, because I think on the back of our heads, we're like,

01:17:24.900 yo, we need more 30 for 30s.

01:17:26.680 There we go.

01:17:28.100 To be honest with you.

01:17:29.400 Yo, Europe got the trashers 30 for 30s, bro. 0.88

01:17:32.760 They should have had way better ones.

01:17:34.620 But they don't.

01:17:35.420 Their 30 for 30s was like Christopher Columbus.

01:17:37.160 Yeah.

01:17:37.520 That 30 for 30 was lit.

01:17:38.660 That was good.

01:17:39.240 Like their 30 for 30s was like Joan of Arc.

01:17:41.480 You know what I mean?

01:17:42.340 If you go back a thousand years, bro, their 30 for 30s were lit. 0.99

01:17:46.640 Louis the fucking 13th or whatever. 0.98

01:17:48.980 Like the 14th, baby. 0.99

01:17:50.820 The 14th.

01:17:51.500 The 13th. 1.00

01:17:52.160 Dude, shit, dude. 1.00

01:17:52.740 13th had asthma and they killed him for it. 1.00

01:17:54.840 Get out of here, bro.

01:17:56.000 Dude would have died.

01:17:56.440 You better show up.

01:17:57.140 Run up that hill.

01:17:58.220 You better show up with both bags working, baby.

01:18:00.140 You can't go up again.

01:18:01.500 One bag in a dog.

01:18:03.440 They took that dude's life.

01:18:04.680 He took him out?

01:18:05.460 Yeah.

01:18:05.940 What was he doing?

01:18:06.700 It was so strenuous.

01:18:07.720 Who knows?

01:18:08.520 He's the king.

01:18:09.180 That's the best job to have asthma.

01:18:10.780 Yo, why don't you get me that?

01:18:11.900 Yeah.

01:18:13.080 Really?

01:18:13.820 Off the head. 0.99

01:18:14.640 With a head. 1.00

01:18:15.780 No, dude, you got to fucking be able to finish the line, son. 1.00

01:18:19.740 You got to be able to finish the line, dog. 1.00

01:18:20.420 Yeah, dog.

01:18:21.340 You got to be able to finish it. 0.97

01:18:22.500 You got to, off of the head. 0.67

01:18:23.760 That's right.

01:18:24.240 One breath.

01:18:24.980 Oh, yeah.

01:18:25.560 A single breath, bro.

01:18:27.460 Here?

01:18:28.120 Yeah, we don't want to.

01:18:29.180 Yeah.

01:18:29.780 And you're out of here, bro.

01:18:31.780 Yeah.

01:18:33.100 That was it, dog.

01:18:34.800 Dude, we should have a castle, bro. 0.83

01:18:36.300 Who else was a fire ass 30 for 30 from back in the day? 0.80

01:18:38.960 We should have a castle. 0.91

01:18:41.100 I think we got some castles.

01:18:42.300 Yeah, that's true.

01:18:42.720 But, yo, once we got here, we were like, yo, castles are hard to build. 1.00

01:18:46.080 Like, fuck stone. 0.99

01:18:47.520 I think that's what America really broke away from Europe to do. 1.00

01:18:51.940 Just build shit out of wood. 0.99

01:18:53.320 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:18:54.020 That's not a bad thought. 1.00

01:18:54.700 It's that stone shit. 1.00

01:18:56.460 It looks cool, but it's heavy, dog. 1.00

01:18:59.620 It's heavy, but then think about the manliness back then.

01:19:03.680 You know?

01:19:04.260 We soft now.

01:19:05.680 People got PVC pipe. 0.99

01:19:07.820 It used to be you used to have to fill your mouth up and fucking put it in your next buddy's mouth. 0.99

01:19:12.040 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

01:19:12.580 And old school plumbing, bro. 0.76

01:19:14.000 You know what I'm talking about?

01:19:14.860 Speak for yourself, dog.

01:19:16.060 Someone's still out here, bro.

01:19:17.740 Kicking it old school, dog.

01:19:18.140 Whatever, dude.

01:19:19.400 Someone's still out here.

01:19:20.500 Left your city.

01:19:21.560 You know what I'm saying?

01:19:22.600 You left your city, bro.

01:19:23.920 I leave my traditions.

01:19:25.220 You know what I'm saying?

01:19:25.740 I brought them down in Miami.

01:19:27.240 Respect, man.

01:19:27.660 Respect.

01:19:28.520 Let's pull up one more question, man, before we let this beautiful fella get off the hook, 1.00

01:19:32.480 man.

01:19:32.760 What else we got here? 1.00

01:19:36.740 Fuck, I don't even know this guy's name, man. 1.00

01:19:38.380 Raleigh Mal. 1.00

01:19:39.000 Here comes a young fella right here. 1.00

01:19:40.600 What up, Theo?

01:19:44.060 What up, Schultzy?

01:19:45.160 Gosh, got a quick question for you.

01:19:47.840 I know you both are new to UFC and want to see which one of y'all superstars would win

01:19:54.060 if y'all did a tag team match.

01:19:56.940 Theo and Dustin or Schultzy and Israel?

01:20:00.380 Let me know.

01:20:01.320 Ooh.

01:20:03.840 Baby season. 1.00

01:20:05.360 I'll beat that baby's ass. 1.00

01:20:07.200 I'll say this, dude. 1.00

01:20:08.260 And no offense, man.

01:20:08.940 Beautiful child, bro.

01:20:10.280 Dude, I'll tell you this.

01:20:12.120 Nobody picks being friends with better UFC fighters than you and me.

01:20:15.520 No, that's a fact, bro.

01:20:16.660 You and me, baby.

01:20:18.420 We can spot talent, bro.

01:20:19.820 Let's go.

01:20:21.000 Okay.

01:20:21.400 Yo, we can really spot talent.

01:20:25.120 They loved fighters, dude. 1.00

01:20:27.360 Of all the fucking guys out there who look like they've been attacked by fucking dogs. 1.00

01:20:32.720 And we pick some fucking kings. 1.00

01:20:36.340 That's a great ass point, man. 1.00

01:20:38.320 That's a good point, man. 0.98

01:20:39.800 Yeah, I don't know what that one.

01:20:40.920 I mean, it's tough.

01:20:42.320 That one's tough, man, because, you know, Theo's got his superpowers, bro.

01:20:48.240 Like, if you go full rat king, it might be a short day of work. 0.79

01:20:52.800 You know what I mean?

01:20:53.340 Because we got rabies, baby.

01:20:54.640 You might gnaw on me.

01:20:56.300 You know, you might do something.

01:20:57.360 I just don't know how to combat that at all.

01:20:59.540 So you might take me out, but then Izzy might have an advantage over Dustin just because of the size. 0.91

01:21:04.480 Yeah.

01:21:05.300 So it might.

01:21:06.680 It's tricky, bro.

01:21:07.620 It's a really tricky one, man.

01:21:09.060 Yeah, I think when you get into those type of guys and the size is big.

01:21:15.260 I mean, look at Izzy versus Blakovich, you know?

01:21:17.720 The size, just when you don't think about the fact of somebody with 10 extra pounds laying on you.

01:21:22.180 It's a lot of extra weight.

01:21:23.520 On their feet, the fight was even.

01:21:25.840 Yeah.

01:21:26.460 But the second he got them down, there's just nothing he could do.

01:21:28.940 And there's nothing you can do.

01:21:30.100 And that's why they have the weight divisions there, you know?

01:21:33.140 But kudos to them.

01:21:34.520 I mean, look.

01:21:34.820 That's where in boxing, you can get away with weight division stuff a little bit more.

01:21:38.760 Because you can be tactical.

01:21:40.300 You don't got to hurt the guy.

01:21:41.320 You might not be able to hurt the guy in a higher weight class, but you can outbox him.

01:21:44.440 But when it comes to MMA, the weight, when you're laying on top of someone, there's only so much you could just lift off of you.

01:21:52.760 Right.

01:21:53.560 You know?

01:21:54.140 And especially when it gets strategic.

01:21:56.160 Like, you know, when people are strategically placing their weight.

01:21:58.780 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:22:00.180 It's big, man.

01:22:00.800 And especially if you're new to having that weight, you know?

01:22:03.200 Yeah.

01:22:04.160 But...

01:22:04.560 What do you think about Dustin fighting Conor again?

01:22:07.140 It looks like that's going to happen.

01:22:07.980 Yeah.

01:22:08.820 It does look like it's going to happen.

01:22:10.060 I think it's a smart fight for Dustin, man.

01:22:12.240 I mean, obviously, you know, it's a smart fight for him.

01:22:14.260 I hope that the fight happens.

01:22:15.960 That's what I start to worry.

01:22:17.520 I start to...

01:22:18.860 I mean, Dustin just works so hard.

01:22:20.980 He just deserves to have the rewards that he wants.

01:22:23.620 And I think he's starting to kind of like...

01:22:26.540 It's interesting.

01:22:27.240 Once you get to certain points in your career, you start to see some rewards.

01:22:31.900 What matters.

01:22:32.520 And also what some rewards matter to you at certain times.

01:22:35.320 I think I know where you're going with this, but go, go, go, go.

01:22:37.040 You know, I think sometimes you're like, okay, like when you're younger, you know...

01:22:41.440 I need the belt.

01:22:41.760 I need the belt.

01:22:42.600 I need the belt.

01:22:43.180 I want the trophy.

01:22:43.840 I deserve to be recognized.

01:22:46.440 We want recognition.

01:22:47.240 And then once I think you also get enough recognition and you get to a point where you see, okay, I also want to be rewarded and be able to take care of myself and my family.

01:22:56.580 And so I think it's...

01:22:58.800 And in the end, you start to realize everything's kind of a business.

01:23:02.080 It's also...

01:23:03.240 It's kind of the...

01:23:04.960 It's...

01:23:05.580 We get romanced by that belt, bro. 1.00

01:23:07.320 And I've always been...

01:23:08.280 I'm a helpless romantic.

01:23:09.580 You know, I always...

01:23:10.420 It's one thing I never liked about sometimes about like going to Hollywood is you see behind the curtain.

01:23:15.080 Like I loved In the Heat of the Night because it was like...

01:23:19.080 It was a TV show about like this community and it was real to me, man.

01:23:23.700 And Carol O'Connor was like the sheriff and he like cared about the...

01:23:26.700 He cared about the convicts and about...

01:23:28.600 And there was like race stuff going on, but everybody was trying their best.

01:23:31.520 Just like it felt like a... 0.99

01:23:33.480 But then you get there and I drive across my neighborhood and Carol O'Connor is fucking buried right there. 1.00

01:23:38.160 And his son apparently was doing heroin down the street. 0.99

01:23:40.460 It's just like...

01:23:41.180 You know what I'm saying?

01:23:41.760 The curtain goes away.

01:23:44.520 And you start to see that things...

01:23:45.880 A lot of things that we built, even the magic of things is a business.

01:23:50.040 So I think in some of it, you just keep the magic alive for yourself.

01:23:52.820 You have to keep that alive in your heart.

01:23:54.240 And I start to then wonder who could keep that magic alive in their heart better at this point in their careers out of Dustin and Connor.

01:24:03.240 And I believe that Dustin can do it better. 0.99

01:24:07.520 Because Connor, I mean, dude, he got to think, fuck, I got to get up and fucking sell liquor in two hours. 0.99

01:24:13.560 I think he's done. 0.99

01:24:15.060 I don't know if he fights again.

01:24:17.160 I think that would be the only inhibitor to a third fight is Connor willing to do it.

01:24:23.780 Because I don't know.

01:24:25.500 I mean, Dustin, I thought beat him pretty easy.

01:24:28.120 I thought it was pretty easy.

01:24:29.800 And I think that it's an easy fight for Dustin again.

01:24:32.200 And I don't think...

01:24:35.700 I don't know.

01:24:36.520 And listen, I don't think Connor has carried his power through the higher weight divisions.

01:24:44.180 Like when he was at 145, it was lights out.

01:24:47.760 Then 155, it was like, I need to hit you a few times.

01:24:51.680 Like, hey, man, will you shut the lights out? 0.93

01:24:53.980 Would you do me a favor?

01:24:54.860 Just wiggle it a little bit.

01:24:57.480 And then he'll go, 170, no.

01:24:59.620 It's more that weird dimmer switch thing where you're like, how do you get this thing?

01:25:02.200 It never even goes all the way.

01:25:04.680 How do you get this to go off?

01:25:07.600 But again, like you said, he's worth hundreds of millions of dollars.

01:25:11.160 The only reason he would do it, I think, would be for more money.

01:25:14.280 And yeah, go get your money. 0.99

01:25:15.360 I want these guys to make all the fucking money. 0.99

01:25:17.360 I'm just happy that it looks as if... 0.99

01:25:20.240 I don't know him, but it looks as if Dustin went, what does that belt really mean?

01:25:26.000 Like, does the belt define me as a human being?

01:25:28.440 No, it's like a cool trinket to have in my career.

01:25:30.780 But you know what would be really cool?

01:25:33.160 If I was defined by like being able to take care of generations of my family by doing this mega fight and making tens of millions of dollars.

01:25:40.880 That would be a cool way to be defined by going like the Poiriers that are my kids and their kids.

01:25:46.700 And their kids are all going to nice private schools.

01:25:48.980 And our community is going to be helped out.

01:25:50.900 And his foundation is going to be...

01:25:52.000 Like, that is way better than a belt.

01:25:54.020 Now, he could beat Conor, then go fight the winner of the title fight.

01:25:58.340 That is like Chandler versus Oliveira, I think they're fighting.

01:26:00.420 Yeah, yeah.

01:26:00.960 And then he gets the belt.

01:26:02.280 Awesome.

01:26:02.940 But secure the bag, bro. 1.00

01:26:04.860 Like, secure the fucking bag. 1.00

01:26:06.900 Get the bag. 1.00

01:26:07.120 I hope that.

01:26:08.060 That is what I...

01:26:08.540 I want all these guys to make all...

01:26:09.680 It's a brutal way to make a living.

01:26:11.120 Yeah. 1.00

01:26:11.560 I want you all to make all the fucking money. 1.00

01:26:14.220 That's what I think, too. 1.00

01:26:15.540 And I bet, honestly, a little bit...

01:26:17.940 I bet it was a little bit of a tough decision for Dustin.

01:26:20.900 Because he still wants that hardware, right?

01:26:23.500 Him and Tony Ferguson were going to fight.

01:26:27.740 And they didn't reward...

01:26:29.120 It just wasn't...

01:26:30.500 They didn't feel like they were being rewarded fair.

01:26:32.940 Like, he tries to...

01:26:33.880 You know, he tries to be as fair and treat people as fair.

01:26:36.560 You know?

01:26:37.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.96

01:26:37.480 So I bet it was a little fucking tough for him. 0.87

01:26:40.660 But... 0.98

01:26:41.060 Yeah.

01:26:41.620 But I think as you get further along...

01:26:43.980 Look, dude.

01:26:44.720 Yeah.

01:26:45.080 Like you said...

01:26:45.540 They should have just let them fight for the belt, though.

01:26:46.740 The poor...

01:26:47.140 I agree. 1.00

01:26:47.960 Just let them fight for the fucking belt, Dana. 1.00

01:26:49.580 Like, who cares? 1.00

01:26:50.040 I agree.

01:26:50.860 You make it a title fight. 0.99

01:26:51.960 You put it in a fucking Dallas Cowboy Stadium. 1.00

01:26:54.080 Like, who cares? 1.00

01:26:55.340 It's the first event that we get to see live.

01:26:57.980 Like...

01:26:58.540 Yeah.

01:27:00.160 I don't know why they didn't do that.

01:27:01.600 Look, but you're right, though.

01:27:02.880 The poor EAs will be the rich EAs. 1.00

01:27:05.880 And that is fucking... 1.00

01:27:06.880 And that's what fucking... 1.00

01:27:07.840 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:27:08.280 You know, as the older you get, you start to realize it's not about being rich, but it's 0.98

01:27:11.840 about being able to fucking, like, provide. 0.97

01:27:14.260 Being able to provide for yourself and your family is a very comforting feeling because 0.98

01:27:18.220 as you get older, your families have issues. 1.00

01:27:20.580 Like, your fucking parents start to get old. 1.00

01:27:22.040 They need help. 1.00

01:27:22.780 You know what I mean?

01:27:23.420 Your brothers, your cousins, they need assistance in their life. 1.00

01:27:25.920 They go to fucking jail. 1.00

01:27:26.960 You know? 1.00

01:27:27.180 They have some sort of, like, mental issues, whatever. 0.99

01:27:28.960 Like, you need some disposable income so you can fucking help these people out. 0.99

01:27:33.440 Yeah. 0.98

01:27:33.600 And unfortunately, Dustin, God, you're the one...

01:27:36.160 Like, sometimes God puts it on you for the family.

01:27:38.420 Yeah.

01:27:38.800 So that's another thing we have to realize. 0.99

01:27:40.580 Like, you know, when it's a blessing and a curse, you're like, oh, shit, you know? 0.98

01:27:43.700 I'm the one that's gonna have to finish college. 0.98

01:27:45.700 I'm the one that's gonna have to do this or, you know, or, you know.

01:27:49.900 But yeah, man.

01:27:51.120 It's awesome to see, man.

01:27:52.400 Both those fighters are awesome to see.

01:27:54.220 They're both totally different, Izzy and Dustin.

01:27:56.960 But they're both uniquely, I think, beloved by people.

01:28:00.940 Yeah.

01:28:01.620 Great personalities.

01:28:03.320 Just great fun.

01:28:05.060 You know?

01:28:05.420 I'm looking forward to Izzy coming back to middleweight because I just think he's gonna...

01:28:09.160 I think these middleweights now are gonna have this, like, renewed confidence because

01:28:12.340 they saw him struggle for the first time.

01:28:13.960 Ooh.

01:28:14.300 And I think that the audience actually needs to believe that he's beatable.

01:28:19.500 Mm-hmm.

01:28:19.780 Because the fights were gonna get uninteresting because he was so dominant.

01:28:22.940 Yeah.

01:28:23.800 I think they need to go, oh, they might have his number now.

01:28:26.980 Right.

01:28:27.120 Oh, try to wrestle him now. 1.00

01:28:28.600 Da-da-da.

01:28:28.980 And then he comes out there. 0.99

01:28:30.020 He just fucking destroys them all. 0.99

01:28:31.860 Yeah. 1.00

01:28:32.020 Yeah.

01:28:32.280 It's...

01:28:32.540 Yeah.

01:28:32.860 It's...

01:28:33.100 Yeah.

01:28:33.420 Watching him is just...

01:28:34.240 It's insane.

01:28:35.200 Him versus Darren Till is gonna be...

01:28:36.720 If they do that, just on social media, it's gonna be so much fun.

01:28:39.440 I just got my first strike the other day at Jiu-Jitsu.

01:28:41.740 Oh, are you doing Jiu-Jitsu?

01:28:42.860 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:43.420 Sick.

01:28:43.700 I got two...

01:28:44.120 I think I have two cracked ribs right now, which is one of the reasons I haven't been able

01:28:47.600 to go this week, but I just got my first strike.

01:28:51.140 And you enjoy the exercise.

01:28:53.000 Yeah.

01:28:53.420 It's really fun.

01:28:54.080 Everybody who tries it loves it.

01:28:55.880 Yeah.

01:28:56.280 I like it.

01:28:56.860 It's just...

01:28:57.160 It's tough on your body.

01:28:58.200 It's a little bit tough.

01:28:59.060 Really?

01:28:59.560 Yeah.

01:29:00.160 They've been having...

01:29:00.920 I've fought women. 1.00

01:29:02.060 I've fought a guy who was legally blind last.

01:29:06.140 Really?

01:29:06.440 They got me fighting in the real...

01:29:08.440 You know?

01:29:09.820 It's not even a weight class.

01:29:10.920 Yeah.

01:29:11.140 I don't know what it is.

01:29:12.080 You know?

01:29:12.500 It's almost like an emotional wellness group.

01:29:15.120 You know?

01:29:15.400 Yeah.

01:29:15.940 Like, I'm like, what weight class am I in?

01:29:17.760 They're like...

01:29:18.060 Jiu-Jitsu, bro.

01:29:19.800 I'm like, what weight class am I in?

01:29:21.060 They're like, you're over there behind the water fountain.

01:29:23.240 Okay?

01:29:26.420 So, it's a unique group, man.

01:29:29.080 But...

01:29:30.160 Dang, dude.

01:29:30.680 I get to come down to Miami and be in y'all's pod, bro.

01:29:33.080 Tell me when you're coming down so I'll put it in.

01:29:34.560 I promise I'll come down.

01:29:35.300 I'll come down...

01:29:36.220 Let's do, I think, maybe first week of May.

01:29:38.880 Done.

01:29:40.500 Done.

01:29:41.060 First week of May, I'll come down.

01:29:42.740 Okay.

01:29:42.920 Raleigh, do you have any questions for this gentleman?

01:29:45.600 I do not.

01:29:47.880 Thanks, Raleigh.

01:29:48.820 There you go, dude.

01:29:50.140 Appreciate it, buddy.

01:29:50.500 Bro, I'm telling you, Asian kids now, bro, it's a whole different ballgame. 1.00

01:29:53.220 And I know everything, right?

01:29:54.160 We get it.

01:29:54.860 No.

01:29:55.520 No, it's nothing, dude.

01:29:57.720 Unbelievable.

01:29:59.560 What happened the other day you didn't know, Raleigh?

01:30:01.320 What was it on that episode?

01:30:04.840 You don't remember.

01:30:05.880 I don't remember.

01:30:06.660 It's all good.

01:30:07.380 Imagine an Asian person saying they don't remember. 1.00

01:30:09.780 Yeah, I know.

01:30:10.220 When is that happening?

01:30:11.400 It's bad.

01:30:12.020 He's an American, bro.

01:30:12.900 That's another thing.

01:30:14.020 Here's the thing that happens in America.

01:30:15.640 People come from another country, okay? 1.00

01:30:17.820 They're like, we all better...

01:30:19.140 We're going to force these kids to learn Spanish so we can communicate with these newcomers. 1.00

01:30:23.280 The second generation of newcomers knows no fucking Spanish. 1.00

01:30:27.480 Yeah. 1.00

01:30:28.440 They get American real quick. 0.97

01:30:30.200 We flip people real quick, dude.

01:30:31.820 We flip people real quick.

01:30:34.240 Real quick, son.

01:30:35.720 One generation, you American now.

01:30:37.120 You guys are bad friends.

01:30:40.800 You want some?

01:30:41.820 Let's go!

01:30:45.380 I think we're good, you.

01:30:46.920 I'm great, man.

01:30:47.380 Hey, can we both do it at the same time?

01:30:48.620 Let's do it.

01:30:49.080 All right.

01:30:49.620 One, two, three.

01:30:51.360 We're bad friends.

01:30:52.320 Dude, Andrew Schultz, man.

01:31:01.940 Congratulations on all your success, man.

01:31:03.680 Thank you, brother.

01:31:04.240 Yeah, you're an inspiration to a lot of us, man.

01:31:05.960 And I'm just really grateful that you came in today, man.

01:31:07.900 Thank you for having me, man.

01:31:08.220 And I mean that, man.

01:31:08.820 I love you, bro.

01:31:09.480 It's cool to see you, bro. 0.97

01:31:10.600 It's fucking fun. 0.98

01:31:11.440 You know what, man? 0.99

01:31:12.180 When I watch you, I'll say this.

01:31:13.740 This is one thing that I do get.

01:31:15.580 I feel like I'm having fun.

01:31:18.000 And that's awesome.

01:31:19.040 All right.

01:31:19.280 That makes me feel good.

01:31:20.420 That makes me feel good.

01:31:21.300 We're just trying to have fun out here, man.

01:31:23.160 I appreciate you, man.

01:31:24.420 You know I love you.

01:31:25.260 Gang, bro.

01:31:25.940 Gang. 0.66

01:31:26.120 Let's get it.

01:31:27.520 Peace.

01:31:27.840 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

01:31:31.840 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

01:31:34.780 I must be cornerstone

01:31:38.120 Oh, but when I reach that ground

01:31:42.660 I'll share this peace of mind

01:31:44.820 I found I can feel it in my bones

01:31:48.980 But it's gonna take a little time

01:31:54.680 For me to set that parking brake

01:31:58.460 And let myself unwind

01:32:01.260 Shine that light on me

01:32:05.280 I'll sit and tell you my stories

01:32:11.000 Shine on me

01:32:13.820 Shine on me

01:32:15.960 And I will find a song

01:32:20.180 I will sing it just for you

01:32:23.600 And now I've been moving way too fast

01:32:31.140 On the runaway train

01:32:32.520 With a heavy load of my past

01:32:36.000 And these rails that I've been riding on

01:32:41.600 They're worn so thin that they're damn near gone

01:32:44.340 I guess now they just weren't built alone

01:32:47.240 And now I'm just waiting for you

01:32:48.900 Come on

01:32:49.240 I say isấp

01:32:54.980 I'm going to type a key

01:32:56.060 And then I'll see you

01:32:57.280 ...

01:32:58.220 ...

01:32:59.080 ...

01:33:00.060 I say isấp

01:33:00.880 ...

01:33:01.980 ...

01:33:05.740 Sigh

01:33:06.500 ...

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - March 27, 2021

E331 Andrew Schulz

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