This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E350 John Crist

00:00:00.000 Let's face it, guys. You know it. When searching for home or car insurance is on the to-do list, it's complicated.

00:00:08.460 Hundreds of thousands of different providers, policies, yaddy-doddy.

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00:00:21.240 Compare quotes for free today at thezebra.com slash Theo.

00:00:25.720 That's thezebra.com slash Theo.

00:00:30.840 I want to say thank you for supporting me in my ability to be a human.

00:00:38.320 I love you.

00:00:40.200 And I want to let you know that the tour, the still unnamed, I'll name it soon.

00:00:45.260 By next week, I think I'll have a name for it.

00:00:47.100 But it's coming to St. Louis, Cincinnati, good places, Charlotte, Durham, Chattanooga, Knoxville, Wilmington.

00:00:58.280 You want to get out there in Wilmington where people are, a lot of milkmaids out there. 1.00

00:01:02.600 Wilkes-Barre, Minneapolis, Charleston, Richmond, Baltimore over there, the Black Maine they call it.

00:01:11.760 Portland, Burlington, Albany, Buffalo, Columbus, Ohio.

00:01:16.000 As well, the Netflix taping, those shows are sold out in Nashville.

00:01:22.700 Thank you so much for the support.

00:01:24.700 And I will be running that material in Huntsville a few days prior.

00:01:29.160 That is the first week of August.

00:01:31.480 You can get tickets for any date at theovahn.com slash tour.

00:01:37.200 Don't buy through any other link.

00:01:38.700 It's a scam, these jacked up prices.

00:01:42.800 I try to keep tickets at fair prices for you.

00:01:47.820 Today's guest is a friend of mine, a decent man, and a man who has walked a road of,

00:01:53.980 we've walked a very common road when it comes to humor, and that's a road of struggle.

00:02:00.320 He's become a better friend of mine over the past year, and we have a lot in common,

00:02:07.520 and we're going to get into some of that and just talk turkey.

00:02:13.360 About to embark on his Fresh Cuts comedy tour, it is Mr. John Crist.

00:02:20.220 That's just the Lord's liquid right there, bro.

00:02:49.940 There ain't nothing to it.

00:02:51.920 Liquid death, man.

00:02:52.980 I don't know if I'd want to go with a dry death or a liquid death.

00:02:56.220 To die?

00:02:57.760 Now, what do you do now? 0.66

00:02:59.060 You got a real religious kind of history, you know?

00:03:03.120 Tell me about that.

00:03:04.100 How do you kind of, because sometimes I feel like you get not penciled in with religion,

00:03:12.600 but you almost, you know, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John Crist, you know?

00:03:17.040 It's not shocking to hear that.

00:03:18.500 Or if I did that joke in my show, you'd be like, oh, this is like his, like, this is part of the thing.

00:03:24.260 You're right.

00:03:25.180 But, I mean, if you, well, if you live in America, let's say an average person's,

00:03:31.280 because I grew up in church, my dad's a pastor.

00:03:34.280 I was homeschooled.

00:03:36.140 Really?

00:03:36.480 Yeah, yeah, homeschooled.

00:03:37.520 One of eight kids.

00:03:39.540 Wow.

00:03:39.780 So, when you, so, did your dad teach any of the courses or in homeschooling is the, is the, the mother?

00:03:47.000 The mom teaches.

00:03:48.160 The mom teaches.

00:03:48.540 Well, see, there's two types of homeschool. 0.90

00:03:50.920 There's like homeschool, like if you're Serena Williams and you want to be professional football,

00:03:57.440 or you want to be a professional tennis player, you're like, I'll just homeschool so I can.

00:04:00.360 And then there's like the cultural homeschoolers.

00:04:02.780 Those are like long jean skirts, Christian traditionally.

00:04:06.760 That's a different type of homeschool.

00:04:08.400 Like pail of water.

00:04:09.400 Yeah, that's it.

00:04:11.300 It's like, where are they going?

00:04:12.560 They got a faucet, but they got one.

00:04:14.960 Right, yeah.

00:04:15.640 Books around a belt, you know, put up.

00:04:17.500 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:17.680 That type of.

00:04:18.740 Yeah, very Willie and Nellie Olson from Little House on the Prairie.

00:04:21.860 Like, is that how it goes?

00:04:22.640 You're like, nah, not really, but sure.

00:04:24.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:25.300 So, with homeschooling, man, so your mother homeschooled you.

00:04:28.680 Yeah.

00:04:29.380 Did your dad, does the dads come up with the curriculum?

00:04:32.080 Tell them where did they get the curriculum.

00:04:35.900 It's, you like have a, there's like a group, they have like their homeschool like textbooks.

00:04:41.660 It's like, but you buy all the textbooks, but then you use them eight times because my brother did it,

00:04:47.520 and then I do it two years later, and then the little brother.

00:04:50.100 But all the, like a math problem would be like, I wish I was making this up, but I'm not.

00:04:56.380 Like, in Matthew 4, he had five loaves and two fish.

00:05:00.400 Like, subtract three loaves, how many you, they're all like, they're about the Bible.

00:05:06.740 Right.

00:05:06.920 Like, all the, it's not like a train was traveling 60 miles an hour.

00:05:09.640 It's like a caravan of donkeys going to see the North Star.

00:05:12.280 Oh, okay.

00:05:13.900 So, it suddenly like gets it in there, you know what I'm saying?

00:05:15.920 Like, hey, we'll slide the Bible in.

00:05:17.860 So, they'll sneak some facts in, huh?

00:05:20.340 That's true, dude.

00:05:21.500 Dang.

00:05:21.680 Yeah, we'll teach them, dude, one way or another.

00:05:23.960 Did you guys, like at Halloween, because I dated a girl for a little bit.

00:05:29.620 No Halloween in my house, dude.

00:05:30.760 From Nashville, right?

00:05:31.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:32.160 And she, at Halloween, they were only allowed to dress up as characters from the Bible.

00:05:37.580 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:39.060 When she was growing up.

00:05:40.160 Well, so, do you know what she dressed as? 1.00

00:05:43.040 I don't know who she dressed as. 0.90

00:05:44.200 I think it was one of the women in it. 0.99

00:05:46.680 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:47.460 Here's the thing about the Bible.

00:05:48.740 It's kind of dude heavy.

00:05:50.180 Yeah, they're all written by dudes.

00:05:52.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:53.500 And they educated guys, which is a little tricky.

00:05:57.100 Brenda should have got a book. 1.00

00:05:58.200 Yeah, she should have at least a book.

00:05:59.540 Hey, this is how I say it.

00:06:00.460 You know, I used to have a joke in my show about there was a story in the Bible about

00:06:05.620 Jesus and the prostitute. 0.96

00:06:07.220 That's the heading of the story.

00:06:10.140 And, you know, the prostitute, she gets her sins forgiven and she gets saved and all this

00:06:13.400 kind of stuff.

00:06:13.840 And she's in heaven now.

00:06:17.020 This is my bit.

00:06:17.940 But like, she's like, yo, what's up?

00:06:19.760 My name's like Cheryl.

00:06:20.680 They're like, who? 0.94

00:06:21.260 I'm like, the prostitute. 0.97

00:06:22.980 Oh, what's up, dude? 0.98

00:06:24.120 You're the, like she didn't, she didn't get a name.

00:06:26.400 Oh, wow.

00:06:26.940 She gets no name.

00:06:28.080 So in the Bible, they didn't even give her a name.

00:06:30.380 No, but there's, but that's not gender specific.

00:06:32.260 There's like Jesus and the man with leprosy.

00:06:33.880 You're like, he's like, dude, I had a nice job.

00:06:35.740 I had a family.

00:06:36.700 I.

00:06:37.020 Right.

00:06:37.420 I had more than leprosy.

00:06:38.960 But for the book, it's like, we just need you to be leprosy.

00:06:41.660 We need you to be leprosy one. 1.00

00:06:43.940 There's no. 1.00

00:06:44.880 We need prostitute one. 1.00

00:06:46.100 We need leprosy one. 0.98

00:06:47.000 What's it called when you do a TV show and then somebody's in the background doing something

00:06:50.260 like, hey, can you.

00:06:51.300 Oh, yeah.

00:06:51.700 A release.

00:06:52.380 There was no release in the Bible times about leprosy, guys.

00:06:55.480 Like, hey, we're just going to.

00:06:56.400 Right.

00:06:57.060 We're just going to take your story, bro.

00:06:58.380 And leprosy was pretty popular, I think, for a while.

00:07:01.160 Yeah.

00:07:01.320 You know, but if you were, if you were, if you had it, it was.

00:07:05.860 It was bad.

00:07:06.860 No, you're out.

00:07:07.680 You can't.

00:07:08.600 Oh, you can't party with leprosy. 0.53

00:07:09.860 No, no, no, no.

00:07:10.520 But I don't even know if that's how it was transmitted.

00:07:12.960 But that, you know, they're just like, you're cast out.

00:07:14.900 If you got the, I don't know.

00:07:15.600 What is it?

00:07:16.160 What do you think it is?

00:07:16.700 A scab or something?

00:07:17.620 Party.

00:07:17.880 I think it was like a little something.

00:07:20.120 And then your whole body got like your leg would fall off.

00:07:23.760 I don't think so.

00:07:24.800 You would shed a limb.

00:07:25.540 Yeah.

00:07:25.700 You want to look that up, please, Sean?

00:07:26.900 Leprosy.

00:07:27.500 Bring up a limb shedding.

00:07:28.680 What is it?

00:07:31.000 But when you talk about something bad in the Bible, like, dude, he probably had leprosy.

00:07:35.020 Probably had leprosy.

00:07:36.200 Infectious disease called by bacillus.

00:07:39.260 So I don't know who he is.

00:07:40.680 Who that is.

00:07:41.400 Is he?

00:07:42.460 Transmitted via droplets.

00:07:43.840 That sounds familiar.

00:07:45.080 Yeah.

00:07:46.600 Nose from the nose and the mouth.

00:07:48.520 No masks back then, bro.

00:07:50.400 Wow.

00:07:51.720 The bacillus is likely transmitted via droplets.

00:07:54.380 Yeah.

00:07:54.900 It's curable with therapy.

00:07:56.940 Leprosy.

00:07:58.220 There were.

00:07:59.440 There were 202,000.

00:08:02.020 Is that what it's saying?

00:08:02.380 New registered cases of leprosy in 2019.

00:08:04.680 What if you called a girl?

00:08:06.080 Hey, I can't come over tonight.

00:08:07.880 Why not?

00:08:08.720 I got leprosy.

00:08:09.180 I got leprosy.

00:08:11.180 That would be like.

00:08:12.480 I mean, it says right there, 202,000 cases.

00:08:14.660 It's plausible.

00:08:15.440 But it's not.

00:08:15.920 I guess it doesn't.

00:08:16.500 It's not a death sentence now.

00:08:18.140 It's plausible.

00:08:19.660 But if you were like walking into something and you rolled an ankle back in the Bible, you're

00:08:24.340 like, that's it.

00:08:25.320 That's it.

00:08:25.840 That's it.

00:08:27.240 If you rolled an ankle back in the Bible, you're walking with a limp.

00:08:29.580 The rest of your.

00:08:30.520 That's it.

00:08:31.380 Well, we forget.

00:08:32.200 You know, I will romanticize things a lot of times and think, man, you know, it'd be

00:08:37.820 so nice to be on a carriage with my wife or with some, you know.

00:08:41.480 Yeah.

00:08:41.860 Yeah.

00:08:42.260 And like old times.

00:08:43.780 Like old times.

00:08:44.460 I'll do that a lot.

00:08:45.320 Yeah.

00:08:45.540 Yeah.

00:08:45.680 Yeah.

00:08:45.920 And then you start to think like what old times were really like.

00:08:49.620 And it was probably pretty sad.

00:08:51.460 Well, you don't even have to go back that far to like if you think about like, dude, when

00:08:56.540 you were a kid, remember going to pick someone up at the airport?

00:09:00.960 You just like, I hope they're here.

00:09:03.700 Oh, yeah.

00:09:04.260 And you'd go around, circle back around.

00:09:07.320 You're like, maybe they're here this time.

00:09:08.560 Right.

00:09:08.780 And then you would just, there was no check-in.

00:09:11.460 There's no flight tracker.

00:09:12.780 There's no cell phones.

00:09:14.400 You just went.

00:09:15.860 You would keep going.

00:09:16.500 Yeah.

00:09:16.640 Maybe you stay for 30 minutes and then.

00:09:18.240 And if you were there with your, he'd send you in.

00:09:20.320 Hey, run in there and see on the screen.

00:09:22.340 Yeah.

00:09:22.560 If it's here.

00:09:24.260 And, but you don't even know if he got on it.

00:09:26.260 Right.

00:09:26.680 Because you can't call.

00:09:28.020 But it was also so much fun.

00:09:29.400 I feel like to just go do anything then.

00:09:31.200 It was like, everything was kind of like an adventure.

00:09:33.540 It was like, all right, let's go.

00:09:34.520 We're going to pick up our friend from the airport.

00:09:35.800 You don't know what's going to happen.

00:09:36.940 Right.

00:09:37.120 They were going to go up there to meet some so-and-so in the movie theater.

00:09:39.880 Maybe, but maybe not.

00:09:42.200 He might not be there.

00:09:42.960 Yeah.

00:09:43.120 If your date didn't show, like you really got stood up.

00:09:45.720 Like you like, there was no way to like know why or.

00:09:48.820 To say it is.

00:09:49.920 They could lie.

00:09:50.600 It was easy.

00:09:51.260 Next time they saw you, they could lie.

00:09:52.840 But remember when I, I remember I told you a couple of days ago about when you, I didn't

00:09:57.080 get a text back from me and then it went to green and I was like, that's red alert

00:10:01.520 in 2021.

00:10:02.700 Right.

00:10:03.020 But back then he'd be like, he'll turn back up.

00:10:06.180 That's like, he missed a couple of weeks of school.

00:10:08.220 What happened to him?

00:10:09.080 Yeah.

00:10:09.200 And then you show back up.

00:10:10.380 What's up, dude?

00:10:11.020 He's around.

00:10:11.900 Yeah.

00:10:12.460 I don't know.

00:10:13.020 He's cutting the grass.

00:10:13.560 Yeah.

00:10:13.720 Where'd he been?

00:10:14.200 Yeah.

00:10:14.820 Who knows?

00:10:15.300 No, no.

00:10:16.080 Now it's like if you.

00:10:16.860 It was so much, such a mystery then.

00:10:18.740 There were so many things were mysteries.

00:10:19.900 That's better.

00:10:20.100 But now it's like the, like, you know, girls be like, Hey, I noticed you don't watch my 1.00

00:10:24.860 Instagram stories anymore.

00:10:25.880 You're like, Oh my.

00:10:27.320 Okay.

00:10:28.560 We know too much.

00:10:30.060 Yeah.

00:10:30.220 Wouldn't you say that?

00:10:30.980 Like, Oh, now it's definitely like, Oh, I saw you like on your Instagram about, I don't

00:10:34.480 need to probably know that.

00:10:37.060 Yeah.

00:10:37.160 And you can't hide anymore.

00:10:38.460 You can't.

00:10:39.380 Like I used to love to be able to make things up back in the day.

00:10:43.760 You can make up who your family was.

00:10:45.580 You can make up anything.

00:10:46.640 You can't anymore.

00:10:47.540 You could say you were a prince.

00:10:48.920 You couldn't make up anything.

00:10:50.180 You're like, you're a prince, dude.

00:10:51.860 You know, you couldn't check anything.

00:10:54.600 Small big bird sweatshirt.

00:10:56.520 Okay.

00:10:56.880 It's a little questionable.

00:10:57.920 I feel like a prince would wear that.

00:10:59.220 Why you moved here to Louisiana?

00:11:00.900 Yeah.

00:11:01.140 But it's kind of like we had a transfer situation, but they were like, all right.

00:11:04.800 Yeah.

00:11:05.100 It was an exchange program at the castle.

00:11:07.120 That's like, dude, in, you know, in rehab, you can't, you can't, no one knows, you don't

00:11:12.260 have any phones or nothing.

00:11:13.220 So no one knows that you can make up stuff there.

00:11:15.680 Right.

00:11:16.040 Because this guy said he's from India and he's like, he had like, this is true. 1.00

00:11:20.120 Actually, he had like 37, like not servants at his house, but 37 people worked at his house.

00:11:26.300 No way.

00:11:26.780 And you're like, that's a different, but you don't know anybody's name.

00:11:31.080 You don't know their whole name.

00:11:32.400 Oh, if I was any, he might be like Chuck.

00:11:34.720 Right.

00:11:34.980 You're like, I don't know.

00:11:36.040 He might.

00:11:36.820 I don't know.

00:11:37.440 Maybe Chuck has 37 people working for him. 0.99

00:11:39.980 Oh, damn. 0.99

00:11:41.600 Chuck's heart is up. 1.00

00:11:45.320 Here's a question right here from somebody that came in.

00:11:48.800 Theo Vaughn's my favorite comedian in the whole world.

00:11:50.960 Smart choice, brother.

00:11:51.960 Let's go.

00:11:52.200 And John Crist is my wife's favorite comedian in the whole world. 0.99

00:11:55.260 Damn. 0.99

00:11:57.380 I would have liked the wife. 1.00

00:11:58.340 I feel like the universe is about to implode.

00:12:01.160 How'd you guys connect?

00:12:02.780 Was it the Nashville thing?

00:12:05.600 Did you guys know about each other coming up?

00:12:09.020 And John, what's it like for you to be on Theo's podcast?

00:12:13.120 Like, is this it for you?

00:12:14.120 You're going to blow now?

00:12:15.320 It's like the big, this is it.

00:12:17.160 Not going to blow me, dude.

00:12:18.420 You know what I'm saying?

00:12:19.280 No, no, no.

00:12:20.580 I mean, I'm not trying to knock you or anything, but.

00:12:25.140 Okay.

00:12:25.460 First of all, we got to hang with that guy.

00:12:27.120 Everything about that.

00:12:29.860 I don't know.

00:12:30.540 The guy is shirtless.

00:12:31.900 He's shirtless.

00:12:32.720 He was like, before I get to my question, I need to get some, I need to be involved.

00:12:37.160 Right.

00:12:37.420 We had a lot of backstory.

00:12:38.960 Sometimes I get nervous and take my shirt off when I do stuff.

00:12:42.560 I don't like to be shirtless.

00:12:44.000 You don't?

00:12:47.820 I just got to make sure my body's positioned right when you're shirtless.

00:12:51.800 Oh, really?

00:12:52.480 When you're sitting up like this, you know what I'm saying?

00:12:54.260 You don't look good.

00:12:55.200 Oh, that's true.

00:12:55.800 No, it's like your body looks a little.

00:12:57.880 Yeah.

00:12:58.180 That's kind of like I've been drinking stepdad.

00:13:00.260 Yeah, yeah.

00:13:01.360 I wonder who came up.

00:13:02.120 Someone that came up with shirts are like, hey, we got to.

00:13:05.800 I wonder why.

00:13:06.860 It all goes back to, I think, how, like I, like even romanticizing what things used to

00:13:11.360 be like.

00:13:11.640 Like, it was probably so hot.

00:13:13.260 People were so stinky.

00:13:15.080 Yeah. 0.79

00:13:15.240 That's the thing you don't realize.

00:13:16.800 It smells horrible, dude.

00:13:18.420 People were stinky.

00:13:19.500 People were dying. 0.97

00:13:20.600 Like, hey, do you want to marry, you know.

00:13:23.200 You got to go down to the river.

00:13:25.020 It might be three and a half miles away.

00:13:26.420 You want to marry Sarah. 0.68

00:13:27.520 Yep.

00:13:27.740 There wasn't any options for marriage.

00:13:30.320 It was like, do you want to marry Margaret?

00:13:32.700 Because that's who you.

00:13:34.040 There was no, like, that's why they say like, hey, there's only, you know, very, very like

00:13:39.120 a religious Christian.

00:13:40.500 There was like, you have a soulmate.

00:13:42.260 One person on this planet for you, that God has a plan for you to find this woman. 0.56

00:13:48.440 One person on planet Earth, there's seven billion people.

00:13:50.920 Right.

00:13:51.300 And it happened to be the girl that lives two doors down.

00:13:53.240 What are the odds of that?

00:13:54.960 Out of that.

00:13:55.880 Every time.

00:13:56.580 Hey, wow.

00:13:57.320 This girl actually worked in my office. 1.00

00:13:59.420 She worked in your office and you walked out. 1.00

00:14:02.560 Yeah.

00:14:02.920 Seven billion people on Earth.

00:14:04.300 And the girl that was God's plan for you worked in your office. 0.99

00:14:07.680 Y'all are lucky.

00:14:08.820 Wow.

00:14:09.220 Dang, God had the easiest plan for you.

00:14:12.920 Dang, dude.

00:14:13.220 God had the easiest plan.

00:14:16.800 Yo, that's a hookup, dude.

00:14:18.340 You found her.

00:14:19.060 You don't even have to go.

00:14:20.180 Man, you barely.

00:14:21.440 Had to leave the state.

00:14:22.600 You didn't have to leave the neighborhood.

00:14:23.780 She was right there.

00:14:25.520 You can't really say.

00:14:26.820 That's like not very romantic to say that there's a bunch of women that would be good 0.99

00:14:31.520 for you to marry.

00:14:34.460 But that would be true, right?

00:14:36.140 Right.

00:14:36.280 Well, I don't know.

00:14:39.300 Like how many do you think would be a good marriage partner for you?

00:14:43.260 Let's say 10,000.

00:14:44.060 I think I'm the loose nugget.

00:14:46.360 Okay.

00:14:46.900 I'm the loose nugget.

00:14:48.040 So.

00:14:48.280 You might cut down on, you might do 5,000.

00:14:51.880 In America or in the world?

00:14:52.980 In the world.

00:14:54.500 Oh, wow.

00:14:55.700 What a good amount.

00:14:56.980 5,000?

00:14:58.420 But then if you say, babe, you're the only one for me.

00:15:00.620 She's like, I mean.

00:15:03.220 That's a hefty promise.

00:15:04.480 But it used to be a reliable.

00:15:06.340 It used to be a fair promise to make, I think, to someone that you're the one for me.

00:15:11.100 Now, part of the problem is there's so many.

00:15:13.840 Ones.

00:15:14.500 Well, there's also so many like ability.

00:15:17.020 There's so much capability to get access.

00:15:19.680 It's like, you know, they say you're only as capable as your options or whatever.

00:15:25.020 Yeah, you don't.

00:15:25.960 Yeah.

00:15:26.580 Yeah.

00:15:26.980 All of a sudden you get some money.

00:15:28.640 Your sphere kind of, you get outside of the neighborhood a little bit.

00:15:33.120 Right.

00:15:33.460 Yeah.

00:15:33.800 All of a sudden you got a driver's license.

00:15:35.380 Now you can.

00:15:36.180 Right.

00:15:36.900 You can go to the next town.

00:15:37.960 You could get across town.

00:15:38.920 You could touch Chitty across town, man. 0.90

00:15:40.700 But back in the day.

00:15:41.840 I remember.

00:15:42.620 Back in the day, you really.

00:15:43.980 That's it.

00:15:44.720 You had your.

00:15:45.600 Did you ever like intermix with the other high schools?

00:15:48.600 Or did you kind of hang in your high school?

00:15:50.420 No, I would hang at the other high schools because I ended up switching from one school

00:15:53.240 to another.

00:15:53.860 In the same town?

00:15:54.960 In two different towns.

00:15:55.900 Okay.

00:15:56.140 They were totally different.

00:15:56.880 One was like a real country town that I grew up in.

00:15:59.580 And one was a little bit more like suburban.

00:16:01.980 You were cool with both of them.

00:16:05.120 Yeah.

00:16:05.460 Well, when I got to the fancier one, that was the first time a girl ever liked me.

00:16:09.680 And so it was.

00:16:10.380 I had like a new beginning.

00:16:12.600 What age?

00:16:13.760 What grade?

00:16:14.440 7, 8, 9, 10 grade.

00:16:18.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:19.800 I remember walking across the gym and some girl was looking at me and I thought something

00:16:22.920 had happened to me.

00:16:23.840 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:24.860 Yes.

00:16:25.800 You might have glowed up.

00:16:27.460 You might have had a summer.

00:16:28.340 You might have had a glow up summer.

00:16:29.320 I might have, man.

00:16:30.160 You got your braces off or something like that?

00:16:32.620 No, I needed braces.

00:16:34.640 So it must have been like this kind of make a wishy type.

00:16:37.580 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:38.480 But her name was Jenny.

00:16:39.660 I remember she was hot, man. 0.83

00:16:40.940 And she looked at you.

00:16:42.560 That was the first time you ever remember a girl looking at you like in a way.

00:16:46.660 Dude, I can still feel her looking at me.

00:16:48.660 That's how nice it was to be admired by a woman.

00:16:53.020 You might have been.

00:16:53.600 We're still chasing that.

00:16:55.180 It might be.

00:16:56.380 I think I'm still chasing that admiration.

00:16:58.280 Did we answer that other guys' question?

00:16:59.540 What was the question?

00:17:00.160 I mean, we met, I think.

00:17:01.340 I mean, I've known about you over the years, but I've seen you more since we were here at National.

00:17:04.700 I know where I met you.

00:17:06.060 We've talked about this before.

00:17:07.740 At the Punchline.

00:17:09.720 In Atlanta.

00:17:10.240 In Atlanta.

00:17:10.580 And I did a guest spot for you.

00:17:12.240 Did you really?

00:17:12.920 Yeah.

00:17:13.400 Oh, I remember.

00:17:13.960 And you were wearing sweatpants.

00:17:15.260 You were wearing elastic sweatpants. 0.98

00:17:16.720 I go, this man is unhinged. 0.96

00:17:18.800 Oh, wow. 0.93

00:17:19.280 But you were just, you came in.

00:17:20.360 You were like, what up?

00:17:21.260 Oh, that's good.

00:17:21.900 You know what, dude?

00:17:22.700 What's crazy about now with me and you and then is like, we ate, like, no one knew who we were.

00:17:29.760 Right.

00:17:30.080 No one was like trying, like, we were trying to hang with fans.

00:17:34.560 Like, we were trying, they were like, nah, we good.

00:17:36.140 Remember those days?

00:17:37.400 Oh, yeah.

00:17:37.920 Like, we would be like, what are y'all doing?

00:17:39.460 Right.

00:17:39.700 And no one would be like, ah, we're good.

00:17:41.380 Yeah.

00:17:41.700 And that wasn't that long ago.

00:17:43.300 They're like, I got a family, man.

00:17:44.220 I got a future.

00:17:44.920 They were like, hey, y'all want to, like, drink or something?

00:17:46.800 They were like, no, dude.

00:17:47.800 We like your hamster bone story, but we got to go.

00:17:51.500 Yeah, dude.

00:17:52.020 We wanted to see if you had a couple of free hams out here.

00:17:54.440 Yeah, we're good, dude.

00:17:55.880 Dude, they had good pie at that place at Atlanta Punchline.

00:17:58.600 Great pie.

00:17:59.120 The new Punchline.

00:18:00.060 Yeah, the new Punchline.

00:18:01.380 But what's funny about that guy's comment, which is always happens, like, you're my favorite

00:18:07.900 comedian and I'm his wife's favorite comedian.

00:18:10.300 Ooh.

00:18:11.280 It's like that.

00:18:11.900 That's very common for me.

00:18:13.120 You and I were at that bar one night, remember?

00:18:14.980 Yeah.

00:18:15.100 And some guy said, didn't some guy say hey to me?

00:18:18.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:18:18.640 And he said, my wife loves you.

00:18:20.160 Yeah, yeah.

00:18:20.480 Which I don't, is that good or bad?

00:18:22.240 I don't know.

00:18:22.600 I would trade you.

00:18:24.520 I'm joking.

00:18:26.020 With that guy specifically?

00:18:27.540 I mean, maybe with that guy specifically.

00:18:28.800 Not knowing his wife.

00:18:29.820 Not even knowing.

00:18:30.380 Be like sight unseen.

00:18:31.460 That's a good call.

00:18:32.140 I'll take it.

00:18:33.280 Well, you know Ralphie Mae?

00:18:35.260 Yeah.

00:18:35.600 Ralphie Mae said, R.I.P. 0.99

00:18:37.500 He said, women are the ones that, you know, you have like a little, like a sexist, like 1.00

00:18:45.320 misogynistic joke.

00:18:46.760 People are like.

00:18:47.260 Yeah.

00:18:48.320 Like, first of all, women make the decision to come see you. 0.94

00:18:51.060 Guys will come.

00:18:52.800 But no, like, you know those real, like old school type comics that were very like, like,

00:18:58.260 that's not a thing.

00:18:59.160 And like, women are driving the sales. 1.00

00:19:01.800 Really?

00:19:01.860 And if you're cool to women, you're, that's like, you know, like only exclusively

00:19:07.480 dude comics, you know, any of those guys?

00:19:09.860 I don't know, man.

00:19:10.420 A lot of my audience is male.

00:19:12.680 Yours?

00:19:13.220 Yeah.

00:19:13.720 Yeah.

00:19:14.540 So.

00:19:15.380 What do you think from like the, like the fighting stuff?

00:19:17.820 No, I think just from podcasting, just talking about stuff, being alive.

00:19:22.420 A lot of my audience is just men that are trying to be alive.

00:19:24.740 Trying to live.

00:19:25.520 I think.

00:19:26.000 Yeah.

00:19:26.380 Do you know, have you ever looked at your Instagram, like the breakdown?

00:19:29.080 Yeah.

00:19:29.480 I'm like 80% men.

00:19:32.580 I'm the exact opposite.

00:19:34.040 Really?

00:19:34.440 That is wild.

00:19:35.340 No.

00:19:35.880 Exact opposite.

00:19:37.480 Which I got a little bit, I feel a little bit, I feel some kind of way about that.

00:19:41.080 But do you feel some kind of way about yours?

00:19:43.200 No, I feel, honestly, I just feel grateful that I found, that I have some sort of connection

00:19:47.080 with an audience.

00:19:47.820 Yeah.

00:19:48.120 So I think that that's really the most, that's, that's kind of what feels like that.

00:19:53.720 I mean, yes, I think every comedian wishes there was like a bunch of big juggy bro. 1.00

00:19:58.600 Yeah.

00:19:59.520 That you look at your demographics and they have photos of this, this is it.

00:20:02.980 Some breasty Muppets in the front, dude. 1.00

00:20:05.080 You know what I'm saying?

00:20:05.760 I don't think, maybe, yeah, maybe.

00:20:07.800 But the big dude, I remember the biggest breast I ever saw as a kid was on this buddy. 1.00

00:20:13.720 On a guy. 0.90

00:20:14.260 On a guy, dude.

00:20:15.040 I remember even touching myself to him once when I was young.

00:20:17.680 Because it was the only ones we had at that age.

00:20:19.940 But what, you saw him?

00:20:21.040 Oh, dude.

00:20:21.680 Yeah.

00:20:21.820 He slept with them out.

00:20:23.540 What do you mean out?

00:20:24.480 He slept with them, you know, shirtless or whatever.

00:20:26.640 I think it was real hot.

00:20:27.540 He was at that weight where it gets real hot.

00:20:29.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:29.780 It gets hot easily.

00:20:31.160 Oh, yeah.

00:20:31.440 He's at that hot weight, dude.

00:20:32.660 You'd see his, you know, you'd see the, and yet, dude, his dad had done the ceiling fan in his room.

00:20:40.020 And this thing was illegally powered.

00:20:43.940 Yeah, so it was on high.

00:20:45.400 It was.

00:20:46.540 And you'll turn it off.

00:20:47.340 It doesn't turn off.

00:20:48.260 Yeah.

00:20:48.880 There's no off.

00:20:49.900 You've seen those ones that are like, is that going to fall off?

00:20:51.780 It's like, yeah, it's going.

00:20:53.540 This one smelled very, I think it ran on kerosene or something.

00:20:56.800 It was really, it was authentic, man.

00:20:59.660 But I remember the wind would cool, would almost put a redness on tint on his skin.

00:21:04.440 Okay, yeah.

00:21:05.340 And he would rest.

00:21:06.140 And I remember one time I was being of age at his house to be erect and just.

00:21:10.180 And he was.

00:21:11.240 He was asleep, thank God.

00:21:12.940 So you were sleeping in the same room with this man?

00:21:14.940 Yeah.

00:21:15.260 Or he was.

00:21:15.860 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:16.720 And don't call him a man.

00:21:17.980 We were both boys.

00:21:18.760 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:21:20.420 Yeah, because I don't want to be some boy masturbating to a man. 0.99

00:21:23.440 Well, you know, when you were like. 0.99

00:21:25.980 Sorry, that shouldn't be me talking about that.

00:21:27.620 Well, when you were like young, you were like, you wanted to.

00:21:32.540 I wanted to be like me and my buddies would like streak through the neighborhood.

00:21:37.120 Yes.

00:21:37.660 And it was cool to be like with your clothes off.

00:21:40.140 Yeah, it wasn't pervy really.

00:21:41.520 Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

00:21:42.160 It was very like.

00:21:43.180 And that's the tricky.

00:21:44.060 Like when we like in rehab, you kind of do your.

00:21:47.080 Like your sexual history.

00:21:48.760 They talk about that kind of stuff.

00:21:50.260 Like what's the first time you had like a sexual.

00:21:54.580 Anything.

00:21:55.200 Oh, really?

00:21:55.640 And I remember when I was.

00:21:57.640 I had to be seven or eight.

00:21:59.520 This older girl came to babysit us. 0.99

00:22:02.820 Oh, and I we were playing freeze tag and I tagged her on the boob, but I didn't know, you know, I didn't know.

00:22:12.040 I didn't know much.

00:22:13.540 I didn't know why I wanted to do that, but I just did.

00:22:16.720 Did you.

00:22:17.080 So after you did it, did you feed?

00:22:19.220 Did it feel like something?

00:22:20.380 Yeah, it felt unbelievable.

00:22:21.580 Yeah.

00:22:21.940 Yeah.

00:22:22.500 And I don't know.

00:22:23.200 And that.

00:22:24.280 That's God, bro.

00:22:25.260 But I don't.

00:22:26.220 It might be.

00:22:27.260 I mean, that's the way everyone's here.

00:22:28.940 Everyone is here because of that.

00:22:30.480 Right. 0.91

00:22:31.040 Everybody's here because of sex. 0.81

00:22:32.340 Right.

00:22:32.520 So it's interesting that sex becomes this taboo thing.

00:22:36.300 That's what.

00:22:36.640 Yeah.

00:22:36.820 Like Louis C.K. had a bit when he came through Zanies like two, three weeks ago.

00:22:41.060 Did you go watch him?

00:22:41.740 Yeah.

00:22:42.160 Wow.

00:22:42.640 Yeah.

00:22:43.080 He said.

00:22:43.580 I was out of town.

00:22:44.640 You.

00:22:46.360 No, we take things too far and people do stuff that's across the line.

00:22:49.360 But he said you.

00:22:50.100 Everyone wants to live in a world where Sarah at your high school went.

00:22:55.900 What's up with Theo?

00:22:57.020 Yeah.

00:22:57.800 Right.

00:22:58.460 Yeah.

00:22:58.700 And now you don't want to go be touching people inappropriately or going across.

00:23:01.620 But you want to live in a world where someone goes, I wonder what she's up to.

00:23:05.680 Yeah.

00:23:06.660 Right.

00:23:07.260 Yeah.

00:23:07.700 And what's her name?

00:23:09.580 You know, Steph Curry.

00:23:10.860 Yeah.

00:23:11.140 Yeah.

00:23:11.520 So his wife.

00:23:12.340 It's a man.

00:23:12.780 Yeah.

00:23:12.980 Grown man.

00:23:13.800 His wife, you know, before kids, when he was coming in the league, she said she would

00:23:18.400 always walk through, you know, the, you know, the hallways and people would holler at

00:23:22.180 her and be like, what's up?

00:23:23.280 And then she said she had two kids kind of like got a little bit older.

00:23:27.220 She said, I miss people like kind of cat calling.

00:23:32.460 Yeah.

00:23:32.640 No, no.

00:23:32.980 Again, not, not inappropriate.

00:23:34.520 You know, but you like.

00:23:37.920 Let's not act like that world doesn't exist.

00:23:40.180 Right.

00:23:40.340 Right.

00:23:40.580 And it's flattering.

00:23:41.560 Huh.

00:23:41.900 What's up?

00:23:42.680 Like, I wonder what I want to talk to her.

00:23:45.160 Right.

00:23:45.660 That whatever that is.

00:23:46.640 Some see a sense of attraction.

00:23:48.440 Yeah.

00:23:48.720 Yeah.

00:23:48.900 We all want to be wanted in some way.

00:23:51.940 And then I don't think it's weird to be, you know, to be wanted sexually kind of, you

00:23:59.380 know, at all, really.

00:24:00.460 It's but and it also is the most natural thing.

00:24:02.760 Like I get a feeling sometimes in my body. 0.99

00:24:05.040 That every part of me wants to climb out of my penis. 1.00

00:24:11.560 You know, you got to go inward first. 0.99

00:24:13.820 And then I literally have a feeling sometimes like I just get this like, yeah, this tense

00:24:19.060 energy that everything I have or am wants to like if my whole body could fly out of my 0.99

00:24:26.680 penis and just disappear then. 1.00

00:24:28.780 And I'm done.

00:24:30.160 And we had a good run.

00:24:31.640 We had a good run.

00:24:32.280 You know, and that and I feel like I'd be OK with that.

00:24:34.680 What happened to Theo?

00:24:35.520 You know what?

00:24:35.940 It's a long story, but he won.

00:24:37.500 Yeah.

00:24:37.800 He's on top.

00:24:38.780 Yeah.

00:24:39.300 He's with the Lord.

00:24:40.160 He went out.

00:24:40.860 He wanted to go out because it's also interesting if that's the way that you went out, it'd be

00:24:46.420 like an inverse of the way that you came in in a weird way.

00:24:49.120 Yeah.

00:24:49.440 Yeah.

00:24:49.640 Because everybody came into this world the same way.

00:24:52.600 Yeah.

00:24:53.060 And he was that's the that's the real Lion King.

00:24:55.780 That's the circle of life right there.

00:24:57.120 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:57.340 It should be some guy masturbating off a cliff. 1.00

00:25:00.220 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:25:00.820 But somebody else catching in, taking care of it.

00:25:04.400 Well, if you were like that, because they they would talk about how like, is it like

00:25:10.500 a is this like when you were like, you know, when you're with your buddies and you're like,

00:25:16.080 let's like sleep naked or something like that.

00:25:18.340 Yeah.

00:25:18.560 They were like, was that inappropriate?

00:25:19.920 And they were like, no, that was just a boy.

00:25:24.500 Curious.

00:25:25.020 Trying.

00:25:25.440 Yeah.

00:25:25.600 Yeah.

00:25:25.740 And they were like, they want to make a distinction between because if there if it is a little

00:25:29.960 bit graphic, not really, but like if it's two boys being curious versus a boy and an uncle

00:25:38.640 because he knows.

00:25:39.960 Right.

00:25:40.280 And then that's a problem.

00:25:41.580 That's trauma.

00:25:42.380 Right.

00:25:42.520 When you have the not when one of them knows and is trying to do a thing versus if it's

00:25:47.220 like because and then kids get in trouble for stuff that is just curious.

00:25:51.200 Right.

00:25:51.400 Don't put that in the same category because then that shame comes in like, oh, I thought

00:25:56.180 I was you're supposed to be a Christian and you're streaking like that's just right. 1.00

00:26:00.700 Kind of what you're like, you're going to go jump in the girl's pool and you're going 1.00

00:26:03.280 to that's kind of just but that's a tough line because then sometimes it can.

00:26:09.260 Yeah.

00:26:09.820 Switch it.

00:26:10.320 Oh, I don't think that was.

00:26:12.380 That wasn't appropriate.

00:26:14.020 Right.

00:26:14.480 It can switch.

00:26:15.660 Yeah.

00:26:15.960 Yeah.

00:26:16.220 Yeah.

00:26:16.720 I mean, some of that stuff's tricky, dude.

00:26:18.260 I remember babysitting my my some family members one time or semi family and the kids

00:26:24.660 over there in the bed, you know, naked with his little buddy, you know, two boys.

00:26:29.380 Yeah.

00:26:29.780 And so I just I didn't say nothing to him or make him feel weird or anything.

00:26:33.200 You know, I didn't I also didn't go in and tickle him at that moment.

00:26:36.280 You know what I'm saying?

00:26:37.040 It's like you got to know when to tickle people and when it just let them be, you know,

00:26:41.840 that's they say, how do you know?

00:26:43.040 I think you just got to that's something that's something, you know, that's, you know,

00:26:46.680 but I think people's that governor inside of your head for what's OK sexually can certainly

00:26:52.880 get altered.

00:26:53.820 Yep.

00:26:54.200 Yeah.

00:26:54.340 And get and get we and get.

00:26:56.540 Yeah.

00:26:56.860 Like when I think of those Duggar kids, like the speaking of religious families, like they 1.00

00:27:00.960 have those Duggar children, you know, they're famous.

00:27:02.880 They're like 10 kids.

00:27:03.980 Yeah.

00:27:04.100 20 children.

00:27:05.060 How many children was it?

00:27:06.220 Pull up Duggar.

00:27:08.400 I was going to try.

00:27:09.460 Yeah.

00:27:09.780 Yeah.

00:27:09.960 You're going to try out for the family.

00:27:10.940 I was going to try.

00:27:11.300 One of my buddies was like friends with them and I was like going to try to like date one

00:27:16.500 of them.

00:27:17.120 Yeah.

00:27:17.540 But they're like that seems like a good, wholesome thing, but they got it got it got

00:27:22.180 twisted up.

00:27:23.000 Right.

00:27:23.280 There's lots of stuff.

00:27:24.280 But how I think could you not at this point?

00:27:26.500 You have children.

00:27:27.180 The age is so different.

00:27:28.620 Nineteen kids and counting.

00:27:30.020 So you have kids. 0.89

00:27:30.960 I mean, you can't even reach a light switch without touching another kid's breast. 0.99

00:27:35.060 You know what I'm saying?

00:27:35.780 Like you can't even.

00:27:36.960 There's just there's not 19 showers in that house.

00:27:39.000 I know that there's not 19.

00:27:40.480 I mean, you everyone can't get a hot shower.

00:27:42.600 Right.

00:27:42.820 Let's just that's just the facts.

00:27:44.340 There's going to be a lot of like passing through in the restaurant.

00:27:46.520 Yeah.

00:27:46.660 There's a lot of can I get skimly squeezed by.

00:27:48.780 Right.

00:27:49.000 There's a lot of that.

00:27:49.720 Can I shower with you?

00:27:50.620 There's going to be a lot of that.

00:27:51.560 Yeah.

00:27:51.760 Which is, first of all, really normal for kids.

00:27:53.440 But then it can get weird when one of the kids is now is 16 and one of the kids is five.

00:27:58.120 It can get a little bit weird.

00:27:59.060 So if you say like because then wasn't there a lot of like incest and stuff going on there?

00:28:02.340 I think there was just a lot of like the one guys had a lot of trouble with sex, sex addiction.

00:28:08.240 Josh Duggar. 0.78

00:28:09.080 Yeah.

00:28:09.460 Okay.

00:28:09.760 Yeah.

00:28:09.940 Yeah.

00:28:10.140 Yeah.

00:28:10.600 But I just and I don't know where it comes from.

00:28:13.140 I haven't read enough into it.

00:28:15.760 But wouldn't you wouldn't you like if sight unseen, if it's something that told you that story, you'd be like, yeah, that checks out.

00:28:22.620 It makes sense.

00:28:23.040 You know what I'm saying?

00:28:23.480 Like, yeah, makes sense.

00:28:24.980 All right.

00:28:25.540 Yeah.

00:28:25.760 Yeah.

00:28:25.960 Yeah.

00:28:26.080 I could have.

00:28:26.600 Yeah.

00:28:29.200 So when you went to rehab, when you say rehab, what kind of what do you go in for?

00:28:33.440 I mean, I let's see.

00:28:35.500 Because I'm in half of them.

00:28:37.200 Yeah.

00:28:37.460 So they put me with.

00:28:38.520 For five things because they were like, they like diagnose you.

00:28:43.820 So I just went in there because I was just like, I was drinking a ton.

00:28:48.840 Were you really?

00:28:49.220 I was real sad.

00:28:50.480 I was real sad on the road.

00:28:52.320 And I like, I just wanted to like get out.

00:28:56.680 I just wanted to.

00:28:59.380 We've talked about this before.

00:29:00.420 The scary thing is like everybody.

00:29:01.860 We go to dinner tonight.

00:29:03.760 Everybody at the restaurant is hoping for a better tomorrow.

00:29:08.820 Right.

00:29:08.900 Maybe if I get a job.

00:29:10.080 Maybe if I get a wife. 0.99

00:29:11.360 Maybe if I get a raise.

00:29:12.760 Maybe if I win the lottery.

00:29:13.700 Tomorrow is going to be better.

00:29:15.240 Maybe if my president gets elected.

00:29:17.780 And I was hoping in all these things.

00:29:19.260 And then I got them all.

00:29:20.960 Oh, I had money.

00:29:22.360 I had attention from women. 1.00

00:29:23.700 I had all my shows were sold.

00:29:26.100 This is unbelievable.

00:29:28.200 And that's the saddest because you realize, oh, the hope is not here.

00:29:32.920 You were hoping in all the better.

00:29:34.620 Everybody at the restaurant has a better faith because you're like, one day I might get it.

00:29:40.740 And you can live your whole day, your whole life hoping.

00:29:43.560 Right.

00:29:44.020 And then if you get it and you're still sad.

00:29:47.480 That's very.

00:29:49.640 That's nowhere to go.

00:29:51.000 Yeah.

00:29:51.340 There's nowhere to go.

00:29:52.680 I can relate to that, man.

00:29:53.920 Yeah.

00:29:54.540 Here's something new.

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00:29:59.260 It's high.

00:29:59.720 It's low.

00:30:00.160 It's low.

00:30:00.540 It's high.

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00:30:01.940 Oh, I want gold.

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00:30:52.720 But the big takeaway here is that you don't have to come out of pocket all at once.

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00:31:24.240 Some time you look at your head and you say, damn, what happened? 1.00

00:31:28.060 What happened to my damn head? 1.00

00:31:29.700 Or you see a buddy's head. 1.00

00:31:30.740 You say, damn, my buddy's head not doing well. 1.00

00:31:33.900 He's a bad farmer. 1.00

00:31:35.120 His crops have left him.

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00:32:44.920 Take care of your hair.

00:32:47.140 Here's a question right here that came in from somebody.

00:32:49.940 Hey, Theo.

00:32:50.460 Hey, John.

00:32:50.880 I am Jenna from Minneapolis and seeing you both live.

00:32:55.460 Can't hide money.

00:32:56.400 Let's go.

00:32:57.120 Okay.

00:32:57.460 Can't hide money, she said.

00:33:00.100 Anyway, I have a question for both of you, actually.

00:33:02.820 You have both been pretty open and vulnerable about your addiction and sobriety and recovery.

00:33:11.100 And I would just be curious what your greatest gift from that has been and if that has affected

00:33:18.100 your comedy or career in any way.

00:33:20.880 So, thanks.

00:33:22.260 Gang. 0.66

00:33:22.960 Thanks.

00:33:23.200 You may can put them on video.

00:33:25.400 Yeah, they don't have to.

00:33:26.220 They can do video or audio.

00:33:27.520 I believe we've just been using video more recently because times have changed and people

00:33:31.220 like to see it.

00:33:31.700 I like that, yeah.

00:33:32.580 But I like when you got to.

00:33:33.480 It's very sweet of her to send the question in.

00:33:34.740 You got to put yourself together for a video.

00:33:36.600 You're going to go on.

00:33:37.340 I might be on the podcast.

00:33:38.780 I'm going to.

00:33:39.440 I'm going to tighten up.

00:33:40.120 I'm going to tighten up.

00:33:40.940 I like that.

00:33:41.040 Once you put a church window in the back for you.

00:33:43.140 Yeah, it's a crypt.

00:33:45.820 I'm joking, but as you put all those self-help books in the back for me.

00:33:49.760 There you go.

00:33:50.400 Very good.

00:33:51.200 What's that up on the top?

00:33:52.240 What's that say?

00:33:53.020 It's something from Hobby Lobby, it looks like.

00:33:55.020 Something very warm hearted.

00:33:56.000 But look at her books, dude. 0.95

00:33:57.000 They're lined up by color.

00:33:59.260 Ooh, that's interesting.

00:34:00.160 That's a little.

00:34:00.920 Look at the bottom books.

00:34:02.100 Can the audience see this?

00:34:03.580 Bottom books, bottom books.

00:34:05.180 Yeah, they can see it.

00:34:06.540 Yeah, she got them baby. 1.00

00:34:07.820 And dude, she loves those turquoise titles.

00:34:10.160 She got purple on the bottom, turquoise, white, and then dark on the top. 0.88

00:34:16.680 I like that.

00:34:17.540 That's the dark arts.

00:34:18.480 That's the organization.

00:34:21.280 That's a good question.

00:34:22.360 Well, I think you and I have a connection.

00:34:23.560 I mean, you and I.

00:34:24.040 I mean, I just invited you the other day to an Al-Anon meeting.

00:34:26.120 So I'm still trying to figure out.

00:34:27.440 No, we couldn't figure out what it was.

00:34:29.640 Yeah, that meeting is Al-Anon is interesting.

00:34:32.920 But that's like, you know what?

00:34:34.400 All those meetings, all the anonymous, whatever they are.

00:34:37.820 It's just like, oh, do you go to CrossFit or are you going to 24-hour fitness?

00:34:42.220 You're in there emotionally doing some reps.

00:34:47.380 And you got to face.

00:34:50.460 And so you're like, hey, you want to go to Al-Anon meeting?

00:34:52.340 I go, yeah, I know the gym, the mental gym.

00:34:56.700 Yeah, I go there.

00:34:57.440 Yeah, I'll find something to take from there.

00:35:00.740 Right.

00:35:01.700 Yeah.

00:35:02.300 Mine was, for the earlier question, mine was alcohol, depression, workaholism, narcissism, and sex.

00:35:11.000 So all five of those.

00:35:12.740 Wow.

00:35:13.240 That's what they diagnosed me with.

00:35:16.120 They were like, you need to work on all of these.

00:35:20.440 I was like, wow.

00:35:21.280 Yeah.

00:35:22.320 And so when you go, like, because the only thing I've done is I went to an eight-day facility recently.

00:35:28.320 And then I've just been in AA, you know?

00:35:31.840 Yeah.

00:35:32.120 I would like to go to more kind of longer term and just stuff because it was really good when I went.

00:35:38.580 But what are some things you really got out of it that you didn't know about yourself before?

00:35:46.040 Well, all right.

00:35:46.620 So my situation is not similar to the Duggar situation, but grew up very like, this is the way life is.

00:35:54.500 Right?

00:35:54.640 And it's very, like, very, there's a lot of shame how I grew up.

00:36:00.000 Right?

00:36:00.180 So all these things you're like, you know, when I was, let's say, like, when's the first time you ever saw, like, a Playboy?

00:36:07.400 Oh, let me think.

00:36:08.860 It was September and it was.

00:36:11.060 No.

00:36:12.320 How do you know it was September?

00:36:13.500 Oh, it was September, dude.

00:36:14.620 Oh, it was.

00:36:15.180 Oh, yeah.

00:36:15.520 You felt it and the leaves were changing.

00:36:16.840 Oh, dude.

00:36:17.460 I was changing, brother.

00:36:18.640 I knew that, man.

00:36:19.940 I definitely, I was shedding skins, brother.

00:36:23.100 But, yeah, it was September and I believe it was in the early, it was in the 90s.

00:36:26.900 Okay.

00:36:27.180 What did, did you, did you, did you have any context of that prior?

00:36:32.120 Did you, did you?

00:36:32.780 No.

00:36:33.320 And so you saw.

00:36:33.920 I didn't know what could be.

00:36:36.360 This is, am I, is this bad?

00:36:38.600 What'd you think?

00:36:39.800 Oh, as soon as I ejacked out of my body, I thought something's wrong with me.

00:36:45.660 Okay.

00:36:46.080 Where did that come from?

00:36:48.480 I think.

00:36:49.760 Well, it came because I didn't know anything.

00:36:51.560 I didn't have any information, right?

00:36:53.620 I didn't have any information.

00:36:54.740 So then when I did that and it felt good, but then it also, it's on my person.

00:36:59.520 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.59

00:36:59.980 Then the semen's on my body. 0.97

00:37:02.500 I felt dirty because you have to then clean yourself up. 0.88

00:37:05.220 So I think there's, there was an element of feeling dirty.

00:37:08.480 Mine was me and my brother were riding bikes over this dirt track, this old construction site that we had built these jumps and stuff down the street from my house.

00:37:17.180 On the Lulaway.

00:37:20.720 And we were, we were riding and we, I saw a playboy in the, in the, I remember this like

00:37:26.720 it was yesterday.

00:37:27.240 Just like Jen, just like Jenny looking at you.

00:37:29.360 And I saw it.

00:37:30.400 Me and my brother saw it.

00:37:31.760 Oh.

00:37:32.320 And I, and I, I hadn't, we rode, we were like a mile and a half from my house.

00:37:38.760 We rode home as fast as we could.

00:37:40.820 And you already had, you picked it up?

00:37:42.320 No, no, no.

00:37:42.700 We never, we didn't touch it.

00:37:43.240 We didn't touch it.

00:37:44.020 Did he see it too?

00:37:44.820 Yep.

00:37:45.220 We both looked at it.

00:37:46.140 We saw it and we had no context of this.

00:37:48.600 We didn't know.

00:37:50.680 And so we rode home as fast as we could.

00:37:52.340 Let's go.

00:37:53.040 Cause we were like, we were scared of it or we didn't, we, we were kids.

00:37:58.260 And we, I remember throwing our bikes down in the garage.

00:38:00.420 We ran aside.

00:38:00.940 We were, my mom was doing something.

00:38:03.160 We were breathing heavy and she goes, what, where you guys been?

00:38:07.040 And we said, we hid.

00:38:10.460 We said, nah, nothing.

00:38:11.700 And that's why I go back to, why did we hide?

00:38:16.300 Why?

00:38:16.700 Yeah.

00:38:16.840 Why?

00:38:17.140 We didn't do anything wrong.

00:38:18.100 We, we, but then we, and then, you know what I was, you know, you know, the answer to this.

00:38:23.220 I was laying in bed that night.

00:38:24.240 What do you think I was thinking?

00:38:25.540 I'm like.

00:38:26.240 About that.

00:38:26.900 I got to go find that.

00:38:27.960 I got to go sneak.

00:38:28.820 Now I got to sneak back out.

00:38:30.880 Right.

00:38:31.640 And tell somebody I'm doing, go back.

00:38:33.820 So now you're building up more secret.

00:38:35.560 You're building up whatever you set, whatever sex is to you at this point.

00:38:38.580 And it's very secretive.

00:38:39.740 And that, and that, it was from that day until 35 years old that it was very.

00:38:46.700 Right.

00:38:47.700 Listen, if you just like, like, like very, and it was a lot of, and that's a lot of Christian

00:38:55.400 growing up.

00:38:57.080 Christian is a lot of, like a lot of youth pastors, but like when's the last time you looked 0.98

00:39:01.500 at porn and like a lot of, I had to report to my pastor every time I masturbated. 0.99

00:39:06.640 Wow. 0.98

00:39:07.660 Which is.

00:39:09.760 Oh, that would take me a month.

00:39:12.560 It would take me a month of straight talking to the man.

00:39:14.760 Like literally we would have to have coffee delivered.

00:39:17.300 Hey, this is.

00:39:18.360 Yeah.

00:39:18.780 Yeah.

00:39:18.900 Yeah.

00:39:19.040 So you had to go into the confessional.

00:39:21.620 Did that help?

00:39:22.620 Does that help alleviate some of the, or does it just feel like I'm reporting how bad I am?

00:39:29.540 Or is there a, a, a part of the template of that process?

00:39:35.520 Cause I'm not as familiar with that process.

00:39:37.200 Part of the template of it is that you, there is some relief granted to you.

00:39:42.620 Well, I, I, we, you all learn pretty quick.

00:39:44.940 They were like, all right, well, I'm just not going to say.

00:39:47.100 Cause if I'm, if I say I'm notched down, so I'm just not going to say, cause it's a private

00:39:53.160 thing anyway.

00:39:54.100 Right.

00:39:54.420 It's not like.

00:39:56.460 Which.

00:39:57.180 So then you're hiding.

00:39:58.340 Yeah.

00:39:58.620 Yeah.

00:39:58.860 Yeah.

00:39:59.020 Yeah.

00:39:59.120 Then you're hiding.

00:39:59.660 And then, so you, but, but you think things, so anyway, fast forward until I was in rehab

00:40:06.980 for four months and I thought, you know, my life is over.

00:40:09.140 Cause I could very Christian, very shame-based, very, to answer her question, I got out. 0.96

00:40:17.120 Everybody did was like, dude, we love you, man.

00:40:19.540 Good to see you, man.

00:40:20.320 I hope you're doing well.

00:40:21.380 That's kind of, you're not going to, I think I even see that.

00:40:23.440 Can't wait to see you back on.

00:40:24.560 Whenever you come back to Memphis, we'll be there.

00:40:26.760 And it was, I'm telling you right now, I couldn't grasp that.

00:40:32.960 Cause my whole life I lived with, if anyone ever finds out the truth about you, everyone's

00:40:39.300 going to hate you. 0.74

00:40:39.940 And then everyone knew the truth about me and they go, we love you, dude.

00:40:46.760 Everybody, we all, we're all on the path, man.

00:40:49.080 Let us know.

00:40:49.540 And it was more lovable in a weird way.

00:40:51.300 It was on, on.

00:40:52.640 Yeah.

00:40:52.880 It's kind of where our relationship started.

00:40:54.120 Maybe.

00:40:54.580 Yeah.

00:40:54.820 Yeah.

00:40:55.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:40:55.200 I was like, Oh, this guy's fucked up too, man. 1.00

00:40:56.920 Yeah. 0.99

00:40:57.120 What's up, dude?

00:40:57.660 This is my buddy.

00:40:59.100 Well, you feel, I think you felt very safe with me cause you could, and people do, I

00:41:03.860 was in the, uh, I was in, I was buying a car.

00:41:08.280 I was buying a new car and this guy goes, Hey man, you John Chris?

00:41:11.860 And he said, my girlfriend is a big fan.

00:41:13.960 He's just like, I just want to let you know, man.

00:41:15.920 I, uh, I struggle with porn too.

00:41:18.560 I get it.

00:41:19.020 I go, what, I don't need, I don't, I know I appreciate that you feel very like that

00:41:25.940 we're all out here together.

00:41:27.580 Take the penthouse package out of this Kia. 0.60

00:41:30.000 I don't think I need this.

00:41:31.460 Right.

00:41:31.680 Right.

00:41:31.800 But you do feel very, you feel connected, connected somehow.

00:41:35.220 Yeah.

00:41:35.440 Yeah.

00:41:35.600 Yeah.

00:41:35.760 Yeah.

00:41:35.800 That you were like, Oh man.

00:41:37.320 And that's what I think a lot of people relate to your podcast.

00:41:39.140 Cause I go, that's, I see myself in that.

00:41:42.920 Right.

00:41:43.600 I'm with that.

00:41:44.740 Well, and I think it makes me relate to you, man.

00:41:46.640 Cause you just want to try your bet.

00:41:48.180 You know, you want to try your best and you're in a world where it's really hard.

00:41:51.840 And, and there's a lot of, and this is something we talked to Jordan Peterson about, like the

00:41:58.600 level of capabilities that these companies and these organizations and these, uh,

00:42:06.960 Talking about religious or no.

00:42:08.100 I'm talking about, no, I'm talking about like pornography.

00:42:09.880 Sorry.

00:42:10.160 Oh yeah.

00:42:10.660 Or like the advertised, the way that they have to grip you.

00:42:14.820 Oh yeah.

00:42:15.080 It's so strong.

00:42:17.140 Strong.

00:42:17.700 Yeah.

00:42:17.900 It's very strong, man.

00:42:19.560 And it's, it's my relationship to alcohol.

00:42:22.420 Like I've been sober for 19 months almost, but it, it, it had to be physically taken from

00:42:30.720 me for about a month.

00:42:31.660 And then I was like, well, I'm good.

00:42:33.600 Right.

00:42:33.840 So when you, when you, somebody says to you, Hey, I'm going to stop sugar or I'm going to

00:42:38.840 stop caffeine or I'm going to stop drinking or I'm going to stop.

00:42:41.680 It's, it's kind of disrespectful to the human body is so strong, dude.

00:42:46.220 It's so strong.

00:42:47.560 Oh yeah.

00:42:48.100 And you say, I'm going to start whatever that chemicals is so strong that you, you can't.

00:42:57.260 It's hard.

00:42:57.880 You can like white knuckle it for, for a couple of days, maybe, but to say I'm a, I'm a, I

00:43:03.740 had my alcohol to be physically taken from me and now I can live without it.

00:43:08.700 Yeah.

00:43:09.080 Now you've been a separate from a long enough.

00:43:10.540 You can, but I, that was a rehab is first of all, it's not practical.

00:43:14.580 It's expensive.

00:43:15.580 It's, it's in a, it's everybody can't do that.

00:43:19.600 So if people come to you or me and say, Hey, how do you, how do I get help?

00:43:27.700 My hand was kind of forced in a little bit.

00:43:30.040 I got exposed.

00:43:31.780 It's, I had to make a choice then, but I don't know what you would tell me two years

00:43:37.440 ago.

00:43:38.220 You couldn't tell me anything.

00:43:40.520 Hey, there's consequences of that.

00:43:42.460 I didn't care.

00:43:43.400 Right.

00:43:43.880 What do you tell somebody that's in the dark now?

00:43:46.960 Man, it's a great question.

00:43:48.040 I don't, it is.

00:43:50.660 Yeah.

00:43:51.040 What do you tell them?

00:43:52.060 I, I said to my friends, just be a friend to that person.

00:43:58.300 This is what makes me emotional.

00:43:59.720 Just be a friend to that person that when it all comes down, you're the first person

00:44:03.560 they call.

00:44:04.300 That's it.

00:44:06.400 That's it.

00:44:07.800 There's no giving them a pamphlet about like the dangers of teenage pregnancies.

00:44:17.520 Yeah.

00:44:17.980 You know what I'm saying?

00:44:18.620 I don't know.

00:44:19.300 They're not even teenagers.

00:44:19.880 Yeah.

00:44:20.100 Or, or, or, yeah, yeah.

00:44:21.060 I don't know.

00:44:22.260 Yeah.

00:44:22.780 Some guy that's unbelievable.

00:44:24.380 Yeah.

00:44:24.680 Yes.

00:44:25.600 But yeah.

00:44:25.900 Trying to be there for somebody.

00:44:27.540 Yeah.

00:44:28.000 That's it.

00:44:28.700 That's it.

00:44:29.340 And they say, like, if, if you say, hey, I'm going to go to this.

00:44:36.420 I'm going to go to, I mean, I feel like you've helped me a lot of ways.

00:44:40.760 Say it, a meeting in a, a new meeting is uncomfortable.

00:44:44.540 You don't know where it is.

00:44:45.580 Yeah.

00:44:45.760 That is in there.

00:44:46.520 And you say, hey, I'm going to check out this meeting.

00:44:48.580 You want to roll.

00:44:49.500 Yeah.

00:44:50.980 Does it help?

00:44:52.000 Now again, but I'm trying to walk the path to the light though.

00:44:57.160 Right.

00:44:57.620 So if I'm in the, if you've got a buddy that's out of his mind, what do you, you can't really,

00:45:04.740 right?

00:45:05.340 Yeah.

00:45:05.540 I mean, you almost have to go with them.

00:45:07.540 You almost want to bring some.

00:45:08.580 But you can't force them.

00:45:10.040 No, you can't force them.

00:45:11.160 Yeah.

00:45:11.340 No, no, no, no, no.

00:45:12.000 Yeah.

00:45:12.880 So you just say.

00:45:15.000 I mean, I had a great talk about this with Chris D'Elia the other day, you know, because

00:45:17.800 he had a lot of, I mean, he really, you know, he's really struggled with sex addiction.

00:45:23.540 He talks about it openly.

00:45:24.440 And I don't feel like I'm talking about him outside of shop.

00:45:27.160 And there were some things he even did that were kind of like, just like broken bro code

00:45:35.500 type stuff, you know?

00:45:36.680 Yeah.

00:45:36.820 Yeah.

00:45:37.480 Yeah.

00:45:38.120 And it's some of us just, he was saying, look, man, I was so into my addiction.

00:45:42.700 I did.

00:45:43.400 I thought everybody was behaving this way.

00:45:45.520 You know, I didn't know.

00:45:47.040 Yeah.

00:45:47.260 Yeah.

00:45:47.680 Yeah.

00:45:47.860 And it's interesting because it's like you get the opportunity to have some sort of affection

00:45:54.100 or admiration from women that you've never seen before.

00:45:58.080 Yes.

00:45:58.920 That you, I mean, I remember, if you remember the Jenny looking at you, I remember in this 0.94

00:46:07.360 girl's basement after a basketball game at her, she was having a party with her older brother.

00:46:11.600 I looked her in the eye and asked her to go to prom with me.

00:46:16.180 And she said, no.

00:46:16.800 Oh, dang.

00:46:23.660 Oh, that would have stopped.

00:46:24.760 But I have a couple of memories like that.

00:46:27.220 Right.

00:46:27.500 I've been in college or at frat parties and stuff like that.

00:46:30.160 Where you just felt.

00:46:30.840 Where you looked a woman in the eye and said, do you want to do, and they said, no. 0.90

00:46:38.620 And that.

00:46:39.620 That's hard.

00:46:40.220 So then you become a little bit, you get a little bit of success.

00:46:43.760 And then the girls be like, hey, what's up?

00:46:47.860 What are you doing?

00:46:48.560 It's like.

00:46:49.940 Right.

00:46:50.400 It's all the pressure is off of you.

00:46:52.160 A lot of the onus is off of you.

00:46:53.620 But you didn't even know that.

00:46:55.200 Now they're coming to you.

00:46:56.320 Right.

00:46:56.520 And you were like, what?

00:46:58.280 This is my.

00:47:00.440 And but you.

00:47:01.340 When you're like in it, you don't like all the all you do in rehab, all these people

00:47:08.400 were in there for all different things.

00:47:09.580 Yeah.

00:47:09.920 All different type of addiction.

00:47:11.560 Something that.

00:47:12.400 Well, crazily, I had a friend who was in there with you.

00:47:14.560 Yeah.

00:47:14.840 Really?

00:47:15.160 That's just crazy.

00:47:15.700 Yeah.

00:47:16.000 I forgot about that.

00:47:16.780 He was there with me.

00:47:17.400 I mean, that just blows my mind.

00:47:18.180 I was like, dude.

00:47:18.940 He goes.

00:47:19.540 How many people were in y'all's group?

00:47:20.680 He goes, do you know Theo Ball?

00:47:23.840 How many people were in y'all's group?

00:47:25.120 I forgot about that.

00:47:26.380 How many people were in y'all's group?

00:47:27.520 15.

00:47:28.140 So the odds that there's 15 people meeting up in Arizona for sex addiction.

00:47:32.940 He goes, you know, two of them are friends with me.

00:47:35.300 That's how we reconnected.

00:47:37.120 Because I got out of rehab.

00:47:38.640 I go, dude.

00:47:39.100 Yeah.

00:47:39.400 Oh, my.

00:47:40.360 Yeah.

00:47:40.920 And you go.

00:47:41.540 Yeah, that's my guy.

00:47:42.240 I spoke with him today, actually.

00:47:43.500 That blows my mind.

00:47:45.420 Okay.

00:47:46.000 So all they would do in there is try to get you.

00:47:49.800 To see it from the other side.

00:47:52.440 Right.

00:47:52.840 Right.

00:47:53.260 So like one of my main struggles and still is, is narcissism.

00:47:57.380 Behaving.

00:47:58.820 I'm not a narcissist.

00:47:59.920 I have narcissistic capabilities or tendencies.

00:48:02.900 Right.

00:48:03.140 Which is different.

00:48:04.000 Right.

00:48:04.360 So like a narcissist would never go to rehab.

00:48:06.160 Right.

00:48:06.380 A narcissist would be like, hey, maybe I need to get some help.

00:48:09.140 A narcissist would never do that.

00:48:10.320 Right.

00:48:10.500 He would never admit that he has a problem.

00:48:11.900 Never.

00:48:12.180 Right.

00:48:12.400 Anyway, so like let's say, for example, we're all meeting up to go to dinner at 530.

00:48:19.400 In the parking lot.

00:48:20.020 We're all going to meet at 530 in the parking lot.

00:48:21.900 I show up at 545.

00:48:24.200 I'm like, it's, we're just, he's like, well, think about it from the other guy's perspective.

00:48:30.680 This guy was on the golf course, taking a nap, doing whatever.

00:48:34.840 Yeah.

00:48:34.960 He got up, changed, showered quickly to be out there.

00:48:37.840 Yeah.

00:48:38.180 At 530.

00:48:39.560 And he's standing there, 15 minutes, nobody's there.

00:48:42.740 And then you stroll up.

00:48:44.560 Just willy-nilly eating a taffy.

00:48:46.520 Yeah, just out here.

00:48:47.580 Doing whatever.

00:48:48.240 Listening, singing a song.

00:48:49.640 Yeah.

00:48:49.760 Some Kenny Chesney.

00:48:51.560 Look at it from that.

00:48:52.820 I go, oh, that makes sense.

00:48:54.520 Right.

00:48:55.120 Oh, yeah.

00:48:55.760 I could, I could see why I would be pissed if I was him.

00:48:59.800 And that's the thing with Chris.

00:49:02.000 And I'm not speaking out of attorney, but, and me and everybody's, you think about it.

00:49:05.940 From the other person's side.

00:49:06.920 And you go, oh, yeah, that person just came to your show and they were just a fan of yours.

00:49:11.860 And you're, they're sitting with 5,000 people, not to brag or however many people are at the show.

00:49:17.120 Less than that.

00:49:17.480 And I'm saying Chris shows.

00:49:18.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:49:18.960 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:49:19.340 This is, yeah, a lot.

00:49:19.960 And then, and then the guy from up there says, what's up?

00:49:27.420 Right.

00:49:27.900 And if you're a little bit insecure or a little bit, a little bit lacking in any type of way in that, you're going to be like, yep, I'm, yes.

00:49:36.560 Yeah.

00:49:36.940 Anyway, that's not, that's not good for that person.

00:49:40.120 Right.

00:49:40.400 Well, it's not, yeah, it's kind of a, it used to be, you would just have those kind of feelings and everybody would go home and they would, people would have their imagination and their hopes.

00:49:50.820 Yeah, there was.

00:49:51.320 And then when you finally met someone that filled enough of the criteria and warmed your heart, you would attach all those moments of like, oh, I admire, I want this, that, I need connection.

00:50:02.840 You would attach them all to that person and you would hope that that, that you guys together made something good.

00:50:09.120 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:09.900 And then now it's like, we get so many, the second we have an urge or someone else does, we have the ability to put the urge onto a blockchain almost.

00:50:20.320 Yeah.

00:50:20.820 Through Instagram or social media.

00:50:22.520 Or on the dating site.

00:50:23.760 Or on dating sites, yeah.

00:50:25.200 To say, hey, I got a.

00:50:26.560 Oh, dude, I used to go to casual encounters, right?

00:50:29.320 I don't know if I've ever even said this.

00:50:30.180 Is that a.

00:50:31.640 This was a scary place.

00:50:34.060 No, this was on Craigslist.

00:50:35.780 Oh, my.

00:50:36.780 Here's the crazy thing is that I just, I just said it was a place.

00:50:39.240 Like it's a real place.

00:50:39.760 I thought it was a, I thought it was one of those casual, like a phone number.

00:50:43.920 The ad comes on late at night.

00:50:45.360 You go, yeah, I know what that is.

00:50:46.780 And see if.

00:50:48.660 Because one of my problems in my 20s, I would have a date set up.

00:50:51.360 But, and then, you good, bro?

00:50:58.020 Yeah.

00:50:58.820 Just sin in my throat.

00:51:00.920 Building up.

00:51:02.120 It's the Lord talking to you, bro.

00:51:04.180 The Lord, baby, is in my mucous membrane.

00:51:06.360 He's like, go ahead.

00:51:08.040 Or the devil's trying to stop you from telling the story.

00:51:10.800 Oh, dude.

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00:53:55.720 Rawr.

00:53:56.960 I remember.

00:53:57.560 Yeah.

00:53:57.680 I get on casual encounters because there was the opportunity to have affection for women without any consequences.

00:54:03.780 Yeah.

00:54:03.980 And this lady, I remember I met her at a cafeteria, which is a bad sign out the gate. 1.00

00:54:12.060 Like a school cafe, like a college cafeteria or like a, just like a cafe.

00:54:18.220 Teoria.

00:54:18.740 It had all.

00:54:19.120 It had a teoria.

00:54:19.900 It had a buffet.

00:54:20.600 Yeah.

00:54:20.800 Yeah.

00:54:21.020 Yeah.

00:54:21.160 It had a salad bar.

00:54:22.300 It had buffet and bar.

00:54:23.460 Yeah.

00:54:23.660 You would go back with a new plate.

00:54:26.760 Are you a new plate?

00:54:27.660 If you want a new plate.

00:54:28.360 All right.

00:54:28.540 So it's upscale.

00:54:29.500 All right.

00:54:29.740 Okay.

00:54:29.940 Yeah.

00:54:30.300 But she and I met there.

00:54:33.080 I didn't even know they sold tequila.

00:54:35.100 She chose it.

00:54:35.840 Right.

00:54:36.320 She's a few years older than me.

00:54:37.580 She said, meet me at the cafeteria.

00:54:39.240 Yeah.

00:54:40.140 I meet her there.

00:54:41.640 We have two tequila shots in this.

00:54:44.560 Like it was getting close to kind of closing time.

00:54:47.100 So I think they'd had kind of turned off some of the lights kind of by the kitchen, but it was still pretty well.

00:54:51.100 Yeah.

00:54:52.160 Oh, my.

00:54:52.960 Then we went back to my apartment.

00:54:54.220 She made sure every light was out in the entire apartment.

00:55:00.400 She even took a little placard, like a piece of paper or something that could be a placard.

00:55:04.720 Yeah.

00:55:05.300 And she put it in front of like the PlayStation where the little light was.

00:55:10.680 Yeah.

00:55:10.960 Even blocked that.

00:55:12.280 No light.

00:55:13.160 Completely no light.

00:55:15.460 And then.

00:55:16.100 But it didn't start like this.

00:55:17.660 So she knew what you looked like prior.

00:55:20.040 She knew what I looked like prior.

00:55:20.880 Right.

00:55:21.240 I don't know if she had like scars or she'd been inside. 0.88

00:55:24.220 Some fires.

00:55:24.960 Okay.

00:55:25.420 I don't know.

00:55:26.740 And my hands, I can't tell really that good if somebody has fire skin.

00:55:30.140 I think I just don't have good like feeling hands, you know.

00:55:32.580 It's like I would.

00:55:33.700 If you felt it, you would know, I think.

00:55:35.160 I don't know.

00:55:35.960 Maybe not.

00:55:36.280 It's like a scar, isn't it?

00:55:37.400 It's kind of like a scar.

00:55:38.440 Yeah.

00:55:38.900 It would have to be pretty bad.

00:55:40.600 I think for me to feel like if somebody had been in a small fire, I don't think I would know.

00:55:43.780 Yeah.

00:55:44.060 Yeah.

00:55:44.220 Yeah.

00:55:44.380 Yeah.

00:55:44.880 But, you know, I mean, I haven't.

00:55:47.340 I don't know.

00:55:48.040 I could have been.

00:55:49.400 I could have made love to someone that had been in a small fire and have no idea.

00:55:52.580 That's what I'm saying, honestly.

00:55:54.240 I feel that.

00:55:55.040 I feel that.

00:55:56.360 But you're not.

00:55:56.920 You're not.

00:55:58.060 Okay.

00:55:58.480 Well, continue with the story.

00:55:59.640 So anyway, we end up making love, dude.

00:56:02.660 And pitch black.

00:56:04.720 Pitch black.

00:56:05.740 Yeah.

00:56:06.720 So she's wearing at the cafeteria.

00:56:08.220 Full long sleeves.

00:56:09.560 Long pants.

00:56:10.160 She was wearing, she looked like a little bit of a rock and roll woman. 1.00

00:56:13.320 Okay.

00:56:13.800 Yeah.

00:56:14.140 Like she had listened to rock and roll.

00:56:15.980 She'd been on the road a little bit.

00:56:17.980 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:18.120 She'd definitely driven 200 miles to fuck some guy in a band. 1.00

00:56:22.120 Like she looked. 0.99

00:56:22.780 But not lead singer?

00:56:24.020 Like a.

00:56:24.800 She wanted the lead singer.

00:56:26.080 Yeah.

00:56:26.400 But who knows if she got him.

00:56:27.280 I don't know.

00:56:27.700 She was also.

00:56:29.280 She was attractive. 0.79

00:56:30.400 Okay.

00:56:30.740 All right.

00:56:31.180 There you go.

00:56:32.260 But.

00:56:32.640 But you knew this before?

00:56:33.920 Was there a photo exchange?

00:56:35.740 Yeah.

00:56:35.960 There was a photo exchange.

00:56:37.020 Okay.

00:56:37.240 But that was like email?

00:56:38.260 Yeah.

00:56:38.520 Through email.

00:56:40.580 So that's what's crazy, bro.

00:56:42.160 Is to think that.

00:56:43.320 What's crazy is to think that.

00:56:45.900 That in my mind, whatever.

00:56:47.700 Whatever sexual stuff had.

00:56:49.460 Yeah.

00:56:49.940 You know, whatever things had built up in my head.

00:56:53.300 My sexual like foundation.

00:56:55.380 Yeah.

00:56:55.940 It let.

00:56:56.880 It put me in that place where that was kind of.

00:56:59.100 That was how I was.

00:57:00.940 And you kind of didn't.

00:57:02.740 It was a slow progression.

00:57:04.560 And then you kind of found yourself there.

00:57:08.500 Yeah.

00:57:08.960 But over a little, little like.

00:57:12.860 Sacrifices over.

00:57:13.720 Not sacrifice.

00:57:14.360 But like, yeah, I wouldn't normally do this, but.

00:57:17.320 I'll do it.

00:57:18.040 And then you get.

00:57:18.760 Then you get there.

00:57:20.040 Right.

00:57:20.580 Yeah.

00:57:20.840 And then you're there.

00:57:21.260 Little things.

00:57:21.940 It's like, you know what?

00:57:22.880 I'll see what this is about.

00:57:23.960 I heard about this.

00:57:24.800 Let me just look it up a little bit.

00:57:26.260 Let me look.

00:57:26.720 Look at casual encounters.

00:57:28.300 Next thing you know.

00:57:29.200 Two weeks later.

00:57:29.860 Let me.

00:57:29.960 And then finally you're like, okay, now I'm literally walking across, you know, Wilshire

00:57:36.000 in Los Angeles to go and meet someone at a cafeteria.

00:57:39.700 And you.

00:57:39.980 And.

00:57:40.620 But like.

00:57:42.980 You.

00:57:43.340 No one.

00:57:46.140 No one does.

00:57:48.280 Acts wrong.

00:57:49.780 Nobody on planet Earth.

00:57:51.620 I say, you know, the guy that.

00:57:55.120 A true.

00:57:55.780 This is a true story.

00:57:56.600 I think so.

00:57:57.400 It's not a conspiracy.

00:57:58.020 A guy flew, hijacked an airplane, flew it in the, into the World Trade Center.

00:58:02.460 I can see it.

00:58:03.060 That's a true story.

00:58:04.080 I've said.

00:58:04.480 I've said.

00:58:04.600 Oh, yeah.

00:58:05.580 He.

00:58:07.260 That's.

00:58:07.860 He believed.

00:58:08.380 Oh, he was right.

00:58:09.300 9-1-1.

00:58:09.800 He believed he was correct. 0.92

00:58:11.820 Did he not?

00:58:12.760 Right.

00:58:13.060 Yeah.

00:58:13.260 In his mind.

00:58:13.860 In his mind.

00:58:14.380 That was the thing to do.

00:58:14.740 In his mind.

00:58:15.380 In his mind.

00:58:15.480 He thought.

00:58:16.400 I don't know what his rationale was.

00:58:17.820 That American needed to be taken out. 1.00

00:58:19.920 Democracy.

00:58:20.580 Freedom.

00:58:21.140 Liberty.

00:58:22.660 The.

00:58:23.200 Capitalism.

00:58:23.740 Islam needs to be.

00:58:24.800 Whatever it was.

00:58:25.940 He.

00:58:26.820 He.

00:58:28.020 And if that guy could convince himself that that is right.

00:58:31.760 Anybody convince himself of anything.

00:58:33.420 Right.

00:58:33.940 Anybody.

00:58:34.560 And so maybe if you were like.

00:58:36.060 For that.

00:58:36.500 You were like.

00:58:37.260 And I can relate a lot.

00:58:38.480 It was like.

00:58:38.780 I'm in a lot of.

00:58:40.120 I'm in a lot of pain.

00:58:42.880 It doesn't.

00:58:43.620 The consequences don't matter.

00:58:45.280 Or I'm gonna.

00:58:47.360 You're acting correctly to you.

00:58:50.500 Right.

00:58:50.840 In that.

00:58:51.480 In that you're like.

00:58:52.180 You are.

00:58:52.740 And everybody is.

00:58:53.520 If you're gonna get on the internet.

00:58:55.700 And. 0.95

00:58:56.660 Trash. 0.99

00:58:57.100 Taylor Swift. 1.00

00:58:57.840 Say she's a slut. 1.00

00:58:58.740 Or she's the word. 1.00

00:58:59.420 Like if.

00:58:59.900 People.

00:59:00.880 If you're going.

00:59:01.520 You are acting correctly.

00:59:04.580 To you.

00:59:05.500 Right.

00:59:05.900 That.

00:59:06.200 That she.

00:59:07.300 Has a lot of money.

00:59:08.260 Or she.

00:59:09.060 Dumped her boyfriend.

00:59:09.900 Or her music isn't good.

00:59:10.920 Or she chose to be a public figure. 0.89

00:59:12.520 You have to.

00:59:13.920 Tell a story.

00:59:15.440 Before you do that.

00:59:17.000 Right.

00:59:17.200 Right.

00:59:17.500 So.

00:59:17.780 Because you're.

00:59:18.360 If it was wrong.

00:59:19.160 You wouldn't do it.

00:59:19.820 Even if you murdered someone. 1.00

00:59:21.000 You shot them. 1.00

00:59:22.180 And they. 0.99

00:59:22.720 Now.

00:59:23.360 Later.

00:59:23.720 You'd probably realize.

00:59:24.420 Oh goodness.

00:59:24.900 That wasn't.

00:59:25.300 But in the moment.

00:59:27.660 You were correct.

00:59:28.980 Right.

00:59:29.240 For you.

00:59:29.700 They.

00:59:30.080 You thought. 1.00

00:59:30.760 That they deserve to die. 1.00

00:59:32.320 Based on what they did. 1.00

00:59:33.300 They cheated on your girlfriend. 0.72

00:59:34.320 Or they.

00:59:34.600 Whatever. 0.99

00:59:34.920 You shot.

00:59:35.220 You acted correctly.

00:59:36.900 Right.

00:59:37.220 In the moment.

00:59:39.480 And that's everybody.

00:59:41.480 Right.

00:59:41.600 And that's what's scary.

00:59:42.320 And that's what rehab is like.

00:59:43.380 Think about.

00:59:45.200 The.

00:59:45.680 The.

00:59:45.960 The.

00:59:46.340 2,000 people that are in that world trade center.

00:59:48.060 That are at work.

00:59:48.800 Right.

00:59:49.580 Right.

00:59:49.780 Think.

00:59:49.940 Try.

00:59:50.160 Try.

00:59:51.600 Try.

00:59:52.360 And then.

00:59:53.000 And then.

00:59:53.320 When you do that.

00:59:54.180 If you go into Starbucks.

00:59:56.080 930 in the morning.

00:59:57.180 You scream at the girl.

00:59:58.580 For not having your coffee order right.

00:59:59.980 You have to get it out of your head.

01:00:01.800 That.

01:00:02.700 She. 0.93

01:00:03.280 Is making minimum wage.

01:00:04.900 She woke up at 430.

01:00:06.620 Yeah.

01:00:06.940 She's been dealing with these.

01:00:08.720 People.

01:00:09.900 For four hours.

01:00:11.200 If you thought that you.

01:00:13.760 Your body.

01:00:14.760 Your mind will not allow you to scream at her.

01:00:20.260 It won't.

01:00:21.220 Right.

01:00:21.720 Because.

01:00:22.300 But.

01:00:22.480 But when you're.

01:00:23.000 And even if you don't relate to the other person.

01:00:24.820 Is if I'm in so much pain.

01:00:26.660 I have to ease this pain somehow.

01:00:28.300 I'm going to take it out on.

01:00:30.600 Anybody.

01:00:31.000 You're acting correctly in the moment.

01:00:33.940 And that all rehab is trying to do is say.

01:00:37.220 Right.

01:00:38.240 Think about the.

01:00:39.100 Think about the guy that has a family.

01:00:41.360 That is in the World Trade Center.

01:00:43.060 Think.

01:00:43.400 And you go.

01:00:44.180 And if.

01:00:44.520 And if rehab.

01:00:45.220 If the.

01:00:45.780 The process of change is correct.

01:00:49.800 And maybe not instantly.

01:00:50.960 But you go.

01:00:51.560 Oh.

01:00:53.700 Yeah.

01:00:55.140 And that's the.

01:00:55.940 That's the process of transformation.

01:00:57.780 That's the whole thing.

01:00:58.820 Right.

01:00:59.180 That's it.

01:00:59.760 Perspective.

01:01:00.120 That's it.

01:01:00.620 Getting a perspective.

01:01:01.080 But if you're in a lot of pain.

01:01:03.060 I would do.

01:01:03.920 At the time.

01:01:04.420 I would do anything.

01:01:05.620 To.

01:01:06.220 To.

01:01:07.100 That.

01:01:07.560 Closing that hotel room door at night.

01:01:09.020 When I was on tour.

01:01:09.920 It was like a prison cell.

01:01:10.960 Dude.

01:01:11.520 Really.

01:01:11.960 Being out on the stage.

01:01:13.340 And standing ovations.

01:01:14.140 That was all fine.

01:01:15.480 But you.

01:01:17.680 That thing closes.

01:01:18.980 It's you.

01:01:20.820 You're just sitting there.

01:01:21.780 Yeah.

01:01:21.860 You're just sitting.

01:01:22.700 And now.

01:01:23.420 You're nobody.

01:01:25.040 You're a little hungry.

01:01:25.840 You go down.

01:01:26.140 Can I get a Snickers?

01:01:27.020 They're like.

01:01:27.300 Well what's your code?

01:01:28.340 And you're like.

01:01:29.160 You're helpless.

01:01:30.180 Dude.

01:01:31.920 And you want to ease.

01:01:32.920 I don't know why I got into.

01:01:33.960 Like one of my.

01:01:34.400 No.

01:01:34.600 Anyway.

01:01:34.820 If you'd like to.

01:01:35.320 I think about that.

01:01:36.080 If you'd like to accept the Lord.

01:01:36.920 Please raise your hand.

01:01:38.220 Sorry.

01:01:38.740 Sorry.

01:01:39.140 My bad.

01:01:39.640 Dude.

01:01:39.780 I got too deep.

01:01:40.680 Dude.

01:01:40.720 No.

01:01:40.880 Well I start to think.

01:01:41.460 What is my story that led me to.

01:01:43.800 Because I wonder if I.

01:01:45.060 You know.

01:01:45.340 I go to some SAA or SLAA meetings. 0.84

01:01:47.760 And that's sex addiction. 0.99

01:01:48.900 And sex and love addiction.

01:01:49.840 We've been to a couple of them.

01:01:51.020 Yeah.

01:01:51.600 Yeah.

01:01:51.780 We've been to some men.

01:01:53.420 And.

01:01:54.280 And it's not as big a program.

01:01:56.960 Yeah.

01:01:57.860 As other programs.

01:01:59.120 But there's definitely a lot of it.

01:02:01.880 Like a lot of connection.

01:02:03.300 Like.

01:02:03.840 I think when I was young.

01:02:07.240 I.

01:02:07.780 My needs were all met.

01:02:09.600 But you.

01:02:10.540 When I was.

01:02:11.120 You weren't lack.

01:02:11.800 Or you were.

01:02:12.400 I wasn't lacking for any.

01:02:13.700 Like I had like.

01:02:14.540 You know.

01:02:14.780 We had food.

01:02:15.460 We were very poor.

01:02:16.200 But we had things.

01:02:17.000 But my mother had to work a lot. 1.00

01:02:18.420 But I think my mother never adored me.

01:02:22.020 As a child.

01:02:22.460 And I know that sounds like a weird thing to say.

01:02:24.320 And people were like.

01:02:25.060 Boo hoo. 1.00

01:02:25.600 Right.

01:02:26.120 Sure.

01:02:26.820 And that's fine.

01:02:27.560 I agree somewhat.

01:02:29.660 Like.

01:02:30.180 You know.

01:02:30.660 I don't want to dwell on it my entire life.

01:02:32.820 Yeah.

01:02:33.240 But where I notice it affects me.

01:02:35.800 Is.

01:02:36.440 When any.

01:02:37.220 Adder.

01:02:37.580 Any opportunity for adoration.

01:02:40.180 Yeah.

01:02:41.220 Presented itself.

01:02:42.100 That's what I needed.

01:02:43.380 I.

01:02:43.600 That was before comedy.

01:02:44.620 Dude.

01:02:44.740 That was.

01:02:45.200 This is before comedy.

01:02:45.820 This is.

01:02:46.280 From being very small.

01:02:47.480 Same thing.

01:02:47.720 You're like.

01:02:48.000 Dude.

01:02:48.200 Oh.

01:02:48.400 You just got into this trouble.

01:02:50.220 A couple.

01:02:50.540 I go.

01:02:50.820 No.

01:02:51.300 I've been.

01:02:51.740 This is my whole life.

01:02:52.660 Dude.

01:02:53.140 Yeah.

01:02:53.300 My whole life.

01:02:53.980 I've.

01:02:54.520 Needed extra.

01:02:55.600 Needed.

01:02:55.840 What do you.

01:02:56.580 Yeah.

01:02:56.820 I've needed.

01:02:58.240 I just.

01:02:59.620 When attention from women became available.

01:03:02.340 Yeah.

01:03:02.520 I needed.

01:03:02.920 I remember my girlfriends growing up.

01:03:04.640 I was.

01:03:05.300 I was such good friends with their mothers.

01:03:07.080 And all my friends.

01:03:08.380 I'm still good friends with their mothers.

01:03:10.660 Yeah.

01:03:11.020 Yeah.

01:03:11.240 Yeah.

01:03:11.920 I just wanted.

01:03:12.640 That was all that would make.

01:03:13.680 Yeah.

01:03:13.820 There was just something like.

01:03:15.760 And I also was kind of.

01:03:17.020 I was real sensitive kid.

01:03:18.480 Yeah.

01:03:18.740 Yeah.

01:03:19.320 Yeah.

01:03:19.500 And it's not a knock against my mother.

01:03:21.220 You know.

01:03:21.560 Yeah.

01:03:21.740 She did everything that she could do.

01:03:24.020 It's just.

01:03:24.780 I.

01:03:25.100 I needed an adoration.

01:03:27.600 You needed it.

01:03:28.020 I needed to be seen by a woman in the eyes and like. 0.66

01:03:31.700 But.

01:03:31.980 Adored.

01:03:32.660 It.

01:03:33.120 You didn't need to be seen by.

01:03:34.520 Well you needed to be seen.

01:03:35.480 And that was the easiest way to get it.

01:03:37.600 Right.

01:03:38.060 Like my.

01:03:38.560 There was a guy in rehab.

01:03:40.080 That he would.

01:03:41.320 Right.

01:03:41.900 He's like.

01:03:42.560 He's like one of the richest guys in his town.

01:03:44.500 Right.

01:03:44.900 Right.

01:03:45.200 And he was.

01:03:45.700 I don't know what he was in for.

01:03:46.660 But he was the richest guy in his town.

01:03:48.480 And we would.

01:03:48.960 And everybody's addiction kind of played out in its own way.

01:03:53.880 So every.

01:03:54.340 Every weekend when we left.

01:03:55.800 We had to say what we were doing every hour.

01:03:58.560 Like I'm gonna wake up at nine.

01:03:59.840 I'm gonna go to breakfast.

01:04:00.840 Because.

01:04:01.080 Because people.

01:04:01.800 Addicts get off track.

01:04:03.300 Right.

01:04:03.420 And if you.

01:04:04.040 You're going to be at all these places.

01:04:05.340 And you can do whatever you want.

01:04:06.360 But you just had to tell them what you were doing.

01:04:07.860 I mean you couldn't go to like a bar.

01:04:09.300 Like a strip club. 1.00

01:04:09.960 But you. 0.66

01:04:11.420 And so this guy.

01:04:12.740 Was the richest guy in his town.

01:04:14.320 Just relating to your story.

01:04:16.380 Every Saturday.

01:04:18.380 He would go.

01:04:19.860 To the.

01:04:20.820 To the car lot.

01:04:22.800 The new.

01:04:23.600 The dealership.

01:04:25.040 Oh yeah.

01:04:25.560 And he.

01:04:26.000 He would go in there.

01:04:27.420 And he would get.

01:04:27.940 Ford Lincoln Mercury.

01:04:28.920 Yeah.

01:04:29.340 You know the big ones.

01:04:30.460 Yeah.

01:04:30.640 Yeah.

01:04:30.900 Lincoln.

01:04:31.800 And he would get.

01:04:33.180 Pre-approved.

01:04:33.820 And they said they all knew how much money he had.

01:04:36.220 And he would walk around that place like.

01:04:38.580 Oh.

01:04:40.500 Getting.

01:04:40.900 Getting.

01:04:41.300 Like just like you're getting it.

01:04:42.720 Or I'm getting it from the crowd.

01:04:44.300 He got it.

01:04:45.600 By people knowing that he was rich.

01:04:48.400 Yeah.

01:04:49.080 And that's not.

01:04:49.580 You said I needed it from women. 1.00

01:04:50.860 You didn't.

01:04:51.220 We all have this like.

01:04:52.380 Well then I needed it from everybody.

01:04:53.520 You need it.

01:04:53.840 For comedy I need it from everyone.

01:04:55.440 He needed.

01:04:56.140 And that was his way of getting it.

01:04:58.140 And he goes.

01:04:58.760 Well dude I'm not doing anything wrong.

01:05:00.360 I go.

01:05:01.400 Well why don't you tell him.

01:05:02.760 Why don't you tell him.

01:05:04.060 That you're going to the car dealership.

01:05:05.340 And he never bought a car.

01:05:06.800 But he just walked around there.

01:05:09.280 And they knew how much money.

01:05:10.740 And it felt like.

01:05:12.120 Does that make sense.

01:05:12.980 Yeah.

01:05:13.420 It's to another guy.

01:05:14.540 You're like.

01:05:14.820 Yeah.

01:05:15.020 I go.

01:05:15.580 That's not my thing.

01:05:16.640 But.

01:05:17.400 Totally makes sense.

01:05:18.060 Yeah.

01:05:18.540 I got.

01:05:18.860 You need to go.

01:05:20.680 Feel the thing that you.

01:05:21.820 Yeah.

01:05:22.160 Checks out.

01:05:23.000 Checks out.

01:05:24.940 Yeah.

01:05:25.400 And wanting attention from women.

01:05:27.240 It's also.

01:05:27.740 The tough thing about it.

01:05:28.480 Is it's also something that's just in your nature.

01:05:30.620 Yeah.

01:05:31.120 So it's not like it's a.

01:05:32.680 Like a foreign thing. 0.96

01:05:34.020 You know.

01:05:34.280 It's like this substance.

01:05:35.720 And this.

01:05:36.920 And I'm not describing women as a substance.

01:05:38.200 But it's this other.

01:05:39.420 It's the other half of what it takes in the world to make.

01:05:42.640 Yeah.

01:05:43.140 Life.

01:05:43.620 You know.

01:05:43.840 It's this.

01:05:44.260 It's this magnet.

01:05:46.060 So that's also.

01:05:48.200 Well.

01:05:48.660 They say it's similar.

01:05:49.820 Sorry.

01:05:50.160 Finish your thought.

01:05:51.580 I can't.

01:05:52.780 Well.

01:05:52.960 They say it's similar to.

01:05:54.300 An eating disorder.

01:05:55.720 Where you have to eat.

01:05:58.440 But you know.

01:05:59.920 If you've been working all day.

01:06:01.220 And you stop by.

01:06:02.920 McDonald's.

01:06:03.340 And get a salad.

01:06:04.060 You're like.

01:06:04.340 Is that in your addiction?

01:06:05.820 No.

01:06:06.440 But if you're.

01:06:07.680 Sad.

01:06:08.120 Because your boyfriend broke up with you.

01:06:09.500 And you eat three double cheeseburgers.

01:06:11.000 Now you're eating.

01:06:13.840 That's your addiction. 0.97

01:06:15.400 So sex. 0.99

01:06:17.280 You. 0.99

01:06:17.560 You.

01:06:17.860 You can't be a monk and live in the woods.

01:06:19.880 Right.

01:06:20.060 You have to be amongst women. 1.00

01:06:21.760 You have to.

01:06:22.760 And so if a girl comes up to you after the show.

01:06:24.560 And says.

01:06:25.400 Hey.

01:06:25.640 I love your.

01:06:26.120 I love your.

01:06:27.040 That felt really good.

01:06:28.120 Like.

01:06:28.460 Like.

01:06:28.940 Like.

01:06:29.500 Is that.

01:06:30.120 Does that like.

01:06:32.000 Do it for you?

01:06:33.000 Well.

01:06:33.400 I just notice if I.

01:06:34.740 Like.

01:06:35.160 I'm just attracted to.

01:06:36.940 I get attracted to women pretty easily. 0.99

01:06:38.920 You know.

01:06:39.220 Yeah.

01:06:39.640 Yeah.

01:06:39.980 So like.

01:06:41.000 I want.

01:06:43.140 You know.

01:06:43.640 I don't really know what it is for me.

01:06:44.900 Because I'm not like chasing sex.

01:06:46.580 And trying to have sex every night.

01:06:47.740 Some of my friends were like that. 0.87

01:06:48.880 Yeah.

01:06:49.020 I was never like that either.

01:06:49.840 I wasn't like that either.

01:06:50.960 I think for me.

01:06:51.820 It was just more like.

01:06:53.060 I.

01:06:55.460 I want you to like me.

01:06:58.080 Yeah.

01:06:58.980 Period.

01:06:59.340 And then if you're a female. 1.00

01:07:01.680 And I'm attracted to you.

01:07:03.200 Then.

01:07:04.000 Yeah.

01:07:04.480 Heck.

01:07:04.760 I'd also like you to like me.

01:07:07.300 More.

01:07:08.380 Probably.

01:07:09.120 And if you're more.

01:07:09.920 Yeah.

01:07:10.340 Well.

01:07:10.560 You know.

01:07:11.140 You're very.

01:07:11.760 I don't want to speak out of tune here.

01:07:16.320 But knowing you personally.

01:07:18.040 That you're very.

01:07:22.120 Like.

01:07:22.720 Like.

01:07:23.120 After.

01:07:23.940 Something happens.

01:07:25.140 You're very like.

01:07:27.400 Did they.

01:07:28.340 Like.

01:07:28.920 Me.

01:07:29.180 Did.

01:07:29.340 How did that go.

01:07:30.220 Very.

01:07:30.840 You kind of.

01:07:31.500 Review it a lot.

01:07:32.560 Right.

01:07:32.980 Like.

01:07:33.280 I always said with the race. 0.98

01:07:34.160 What do you want to say.

01:07:34.700 What you texted me after the race.

01:07:36.580 Yeah.

01:07:36.720 I went to the race.

01:07:37.480 And I didn't really say hey to your family.

01:07:38.720 I remember they were there.

01:07:40.340 But.

01:07:40.440 But you.

01:07:40.980 So you went into your head somehow.

01:07:42.600 And thought.

01:07:43.120 And I texted you.

01:07:43.700 Hey.

01:07:43.860 I'm sorry.

01:07:44.280 I didn't say hey to your family.

01:07:45.500 Which is.

01:07:45.980 But.

01:07:46.140 But you.

01:07:46.500 You did the same thing.

01:07:47.540 Remember when I said about the Ryman show.

01:07:49.320 I got.

01:07:49.500 You were.

01:07:50.780 Oh.

01:07:51.200 Yeah.

01:07:51.420 You.

01:07:51.680 You go.

01:07:53.260 But you don't.

01:07:54.040 You can't be a comedian without.

01:07:56.340 That.

01:07:56.900 Right.

01:07:57.340 But like.

01:07:58.040 I go.

01:07:58.280 No.

01:07:58.500 Did they.

01:07:59.240 They loved you.

01:07:59.920 And they know your friend.

01:08:00.540 There's a lot of people there.

01:08:01.500 And you said hi to them.

01:08:02.340 And they're.

01:08:02.680 But.

01:08:03.320 You were like.

01:08:04.060 Did they.

01:08:04.780 Like me.

01:08:06.860 Right.

01:08:07.380 I guess.

01:08:07.800 In the end.

01:08:08.120 That's what I'm looking for.

01:08:08.920 Yeah.

01:08:09.060 Do they still like me.

01:08:10.040 Am I still okay with them.

01:08:11.280 And maybe for whatever reason.

01:08:12.620 You didn't get the.

01:08:14.040 A clue that.

01:08:15.160 They did.

01:08:16.100 Right.

01:08:16.560 And so you're just following up.

01:08:17.820 To make sure.

01:08:19.920 Yeah.

01:08:20.380 Whatever that.

01:08:21.200 Whatever that is.

01:08:22.440 Right.

01:08:22.720 Yeah.

01:08:22.820 Yeah.

01:08:23.160 That's what.

01:08:23.900 That's what definitely leads to.

01:08:25.100 That leads to your whole.

01:08:25.860 Everything.

01:08:26.520 That leads to.

01:08:27.160 Yeah.

01:08:27.360 Yeah.

01:08:27.500 Yeah.

01:08:27.800 And so that can be also what people go to sex and love addiction for.

01:08:31.060 It's like.

01:08:31.520 It can be for affection.

01:08:33.360 It's not just like.

01:08:34.340 It's like somebody like sneaking around like putting their hole through like a bathroom.

01:08:38.120 Yeah.

01:08:38.140 No.

01:08:38.260 Yeah.

01:08:38.460 It's not.

01:08:38.960 Which happened at LSU when I was there and I wasn't involved in it.

01:08:41.760 Okay.

01:08:42.080 And I do know who was involved in it.

01:08:44.140 This dude.

01:08:44.860 Yeah.

01:08:45.260 This dude.

01:08:45.760 Big Henry.

01:08:46.840 And this other.

01:08:47.820 This little white dude.

01:08:48.820 Bro.

01:08:49.020 With a.

01:08:49.860 Not a mustache.

01:08:51.160 But like.

01:08:52.280 Some kind of.

01:08:53.220 Long sideburns.

01:08:54.180 That almost came to a mustache. 1.00

01:08:55.600 Real stupid looking thing. 1.00

01:08:56.920 But. 1.00

01:08:57.080 But you.

01:08:57.400 You heard about it.

01:08:58.580 I mean.

01:08:58.940 I knew they were doing stuff.

01:09:00.420 Bro.

01:09:00.540 Yeah.

01:09:00.720 Yeah.

01:09:00.920 Being real discreet.

01:09:02.300 You know.

01:09:05.400 You can't be going to class in the bathroom every day.

01:09:07.820 So.

01:09:08.520 It's hot in here too guys.

01:09:09.660 The AC broke.

01:09:10.920 Let's get another question that came in here.

01:09:14.440 Oh.

01:09:14.720 Look at this guy in bed.

01:09:15.680 Shirtless.

01:09:16.080 Shirtless.

01:09:16.360 Huh.

01:09:16.640 It's shirtless.

01:09:17.720 Bro.

01:09:18.280 Jesus.

01:09:19.380 Is there another person there or no?

01:09:20.560 Oh my God. 1.00

01:09:21.460 I'm going to have to take my penis off and put it somewhere. 1.00

01:09:24.020 Oh my God. 1.00

01:09:25.100 The kid.

01:09:26.160 Michaela.

01:09:27.280 We were wondering.

01:09:28.160 Our church got VBS this week.

01:09:29.680 You got any good VBS stories?

01:09:31.100 I know y'all both grew up going to that VBS.

01:09:34.100 Vacation Bible School.

01:09:35.440 Oh I didn't hear that.

01:09:36.400 Gang gang.

01:09:37.960 Gang baby.

01:09:38.700 That's unbelievable.

01:09:39.400 Because I was wondering what.

01:09:41.480 What percent of my fans are your fans and your fans are my fans.

01:09:44.460 Would you think a lot?

01:09:45.040 I would say only probably 15% of your fans or my fans.

01:09:49.520 And vice versa.

01:09:50.500 Yeah.

01:09:50.840 I think we have different fans.

01:09:51.680 I would say that right.

01:09:52.180 Yeah.

01:09:52.480 Yeah.

01:09:53.080 But do you talk about VBS?

01:09:57.640 I haven't talked about it much man.

01:09:59.460 But you know what that stands for.

01:10:00.600 Vacation Bible School.

01:10:01.260 Yeah.

01:10:01.780 My dad would take us over there and we'd make a lot of arts and crafts.

01:10:05.220 Yeah.

01:10:06.120 It was arts and crafts every dude.

01:10:08.660 The Lord is in the glue dog.

01:10:10.300 Oh man.

01:10:10.860 But that was just the.

01:10:12.780 There were chicks there though. 0.98

01:10:14.940 Oh 100%.

01:10:15.840 100%.

01:10:16.500 But they didn't.

01:10:17.700 Your family didn't know what to do with you during the summer.

01:10:19.940 No.

01:10:20.620 And they send you.

01:10:21.420 They didn't.

01:10:21.660 Anything.

01:10:22.680 Yarn camp.

01:10:23.680 Anything dude.

01:10:24.560 Horse camp.

01:10:25.240 Yeah.

01:10:26.080 Explorer camp.

01:10:26.980 Yeah.

01:10:27.480 Boy Scouts.

01:10:28.040 Breathings.

01:10:28.380 Treasure hunter.

01:10:28.920 Nothing doesn't matter.

01:10:30.160 Yeah.

01:10:30.580 Take these kids. 0.97

01:10:31.880 Reformed pedophile meetings.

01:10:33.320 Something.

01:10:33.900 Yeah.

01:10:34.220 Anything.

01:10:34.660 Yeah.

01:10:35.380 I wonder how like.

01:10:36.800 You know like if you like.

01:10:38.920 Botany.

01:10:39.540 Southern.

01:10:39.860 This guy looks like a.

01:10:40.980 Decent man.

01:10:41.540 Like a good Baptist guy.

01:10:43.060 If he's probably from the south.

01:10:44.620 So then you get a step away.

01:10:46.020 Yeah.

01:10:46.260 I could see him being at least a Pentecostal.

01:10:47.760 Or one of those new churches.

01:10:49.300 You get a step.

01:10:50.020 So the Pentecostal.

01:10:51.100 He's like a step.

01:10:51.920 And you keep stepping away.

01:10:53.240 Yeah.

01:10:53.400 Then you get.

01:10:55.360 Jehovah's Witnesses.

01:10:56.300 Then you get into.

01:10:57.420 Like you get to.

01:10:58.860 Then it's.

01:10:59.400 Then it's the snake handling.

01:11:00.340 You get an Iverson jersey.

01:11:01.420 Yeah.

01:11:01.520 Then there's snake.

01:11:02.660 Then you go.

01:11:03.560 So I wonder how far away.

01:11:04.920 From traditional Christianity. 0.98

01:11:06.360 Were your parents that desperate.

01:11:07.460 To send you to camp.

01:11:08.120 That they would have said.

01:11:08.740 Hey.

01:11:09.100 Yeah.

01:11:11.060 Yeah.

01:11:11.340 Snake handling church.

01:11:12.380 Take the kids. 1.00

01:11:13.580 Dude.

01:11:13.740 They.

01:11:14.120 It might not have been Christian.

01:11:15.340 As much as it was.

01:11:16.320 Like take these kids. 0.98

01:11:18.040 I know.

01:11:18.740 I'm dead serious.

01:11:19.720 Yeah dude.

01:11:20.400 Oh you know.

01:11:21.020 Like hey.

01:11:21.340 What are y'all teaching them?

01:11:22.740 Yeah.

01:11:23.900 It's free.

01:11:25.520 You're taking these kids for free.

01:11:27.240 I don't care what you're teaching them bro.

01:11:31.800 Because some of those.

01:11:32.980 Southern churches.

01:11:35.040 It gets dicey dude.

01:11:36.140 It gets quick.

01:11:37.760 Very quickly.

01:11:38.860 It gets real interesting man.

01:11:40.160 And you're like hey.

01:11:40.960 Get on.

01:11:41.720 Yeah.

01:11:41.900 VBS growing up was.

01:11:43.760 I used to.

01:11:44.180 I used to work at them.

01:11:45.240 In college.

01:11:45.800 Did you?

01:11:46.000 Yeah.

01:11:46.400 In college?

01:11:47.000 I went to one in New Orleans.

01:11:49.220 I worked in the inner city of New Orleans.

01:11:51.140 Teaching at VBS.

01:11:52.260 Really?

01:11:52.620 Thank you.

01:11:52.800 And in New York City.

01:11:54.700 I did one.

01:11:56.500 And I mean.

01:11:57.240 Dude.

01:11:57.460 It was.

01:12:00.040 There was no rules out there.

01:12:01.860 Because.

01:12:02.380 It's tricky.

01:12:03.240 Because somebody else.

01:12:04.220 When you work at a church.

01:12:05.800 And you're like a missionary.

01:12:07.200 Somebody else is.

01:12:07.980 When your boss is paying you.

01:12:09.360 But is not there.

01:12:11.700 It's weird.

01:12:12.140 The human being.

01:12:12.840 Was not set up for that.

01:12:14.280 Oh yeah.

01:12:14.580 That's true.

01:12:15.360 You're like.

01:12:16.240 Yo.

01:12:16.440 I'm going to work in Nicaragua.

01:12:17.960 But my boss is in Louisiana.

01:12:21.100 You want to set the alarm?

01:12:22.280 No.

01:12:22.520 I don't.

01:12:23.160 No.

01:12:23.400 I'm not setting the alarm tomorrow.

01:12:25.160 Dude.

01:12:25.540 That's funny.

01:12:25.900 My dad's family was in Nicaragua.

01:12:27.260 Doing missionary work.

01:12:28.440 When.

01:12:29.040 When his parents.

01:12:29.860 Where was the money coming from?

01:12:31.660 I don't know.

01:12:32.560 And there probably wasn't much money back then.

01:12:34.060 I think it was 19.

01:12:35.540 10.

01:12:35.940 Now here's a weird thing I did in relationships.

01:12:42.180 I painted a chair at vacation Bible school camp.

01:12:45.060 And gave it to a girl like 17 years later as an adult.

01:12:48.760 And you did?

01:12:49.580 Yeah dude.

01:12:50.120 Look.

01:12:50.820 If you want to end the relationship.

01:12:54.240 And end up on at least a list in a woman's head. 1.00

01:12:58.320 Some kind of list.

01:12:59.240 Give her a chair you painted as a child 16 years earlier as an adult.

01:13:07.200 Drive.

01:13:07.580 And also drive it five hours to her dude. 1.00

01:13:10.740 But again in your mind you were acting right.

01:13:13.720 This guy Randy when I was in vacation Bible school he said he was he was from the other church.

01:13:18.800 He would come over.

01:13:19.680 He was like a he was he had a red sports car.

01:13:22.780 And he was you know when you at that age you you the guys in his 30s late 30s 40s and he's single he's cool.

01:13:32.100 But now you're like why didn't this guy.

01:13:34.920 Now he's us.

01:13:35.540 Where was his family.

01:13:36.560 Right.

01:13:36.760 Yeah.

01:13:37.140 Yeah.

01:13:37.320 Yeah.

01:13:37.460 Looking back on it when your youth pastor is 25 and hanging with us on Friday nights.

01:13:45.120 Where.

01:13:45.540 Right.

01:13:46.520 Where are your.

01:13:47.840 Who's your squad.

01:13:48.900 Right.

01:13:49.060 Is it us.

01:13:50.460 And so this guy Randy would come.

01:13:51.820 He was a bigger guy.

01:13:52.620 He would always make Randy bro.

01:13:54.960 He would wear shirts.

01:13:56.320 Oh yeah.

01:13:57.320 In the to swim.

01:13:58.140 Oh he would.

01:13:58.660 He would wear.

01:13:59.180 Oh yeah. 0.86

01:13:59.620 But like not like darker like darker like a black guy. 0.99

01:14:04.220 Black. 0.98

01:14:04.480 No white guy but black shirt. 0.75

01:14:06.400 Oh wow.

01:14:06.740 You could see through the if you know I'm saying.

01:14:08.600 OK.

01:14:09.020 So he.

01:14:09.620 Valor.

01:14:10.840 So he would do like you and he went off to high dive.

01:14:14.040 And that was a real story.

01:14:19.260 Fake plant but it'll I'm sure it'll take.

01:14:21.240 Oh yeah.

01:14:22.680 Dang.

01:14:23.580 But so when he.

01:14:24.720 And he loved doing that.

01:14:25.760 Oh yeah.

01:14:26.320 Yeah.

01:14:26.440 But he would always.

01:14:27.260 He wouldn't come out every day.

01:14:28.720 But when Randy started walking up all the kids knew he about to it's about to.

01:14:34.640 Here go Randy.

01:14:35.440 And he would do a huge.

01:14:36.480 Come on Randy.

01:14:37.440 So everybody went.

01:14:38.340 And he was like kind of a rogue.

01:14:41.060 He wasn't attached to a shirt.

01:14:42.700 Like these are from First Baptist.

01:14:43.840 Oh OK.

01:14:44.140 These are from First Press.

01:14:44.920 Randy just.

01:14:45.800 We was at Sixth Baptist I think.

01:14:47.300 Anyway so he said he said he promised if every kid memorized Psalm 23.

01:14:57.000 Oh dang.

01:14:57.760 He would shave his head at the end because he had like a long.

01:15:01.940 He had like a long.

01:15:03.180 He was a.

01:15:04.000 Oh yeah dude.

01:15:04.780 Yeah.

01:15:04.960 And he goes I will shave my head.

01:15:07.720 He's an organ donor.

01:15:08.680 Yeah.

01:15:08.880 A hundred percent.

01:15:09.900 This kid I think his name was Nathan and James.

01:15:13.140 Oh yeah.

01:15:13.480 Two of my buddies.

01:15:14.640 If they could quote Psalm 23 he would shave his head.

01:15:18.560 Let's go.

01:15:18.860 And this kid got up there.

01:15:21.160 Nailed it.

01:15:22.480 And he.

01:15:23.540 And Randy.

01:15:23.960 Got in front of.

01:15:24.640 In front of church.

01:15:26.320 And shaved.

01:15:26.620 It was an outdoor.

01:15:27.920 Yeah.

01:15:28.100 It was like in a pavilion type situation.

01:15:29.680 Oh yeah.

01:15:30.120 A lot of pavilions.

01:15:30.840 Yeah.

01:15:31.040 A lot of pavilions.

01:15:31.960 They were covered but not at the sides.

01:15:34.180 Yeah.

01:15:35.240 I remember the.

01:15:36.580 That's a funny.

01:15:37.340 Like this.

01:15:38.660 This must have been before.

01:15:41.400 This lady was working. 1.00

01:15:43.000 Me and my brother.

01:15:43.660 My older brother.

01:15:44.480 I asked.

01:15:45.140 Because I was going to put this in my act.

01:15:46.860 But I never talked about it on stage.

01:15:49.220 I texted my brother like a year ago and asked him if this is true.

01:15:51.640 We were getting.

01:15:52.280 We went forward for prayer.

01:15:54.300 Are you familiar with that?

01:15:55.240 Oh yeah.

01:15:55.260 You go to the front of the church.

01:15:56.140 If they.

01:15:57.080 The children.

01:15:57.860 Yeah.

01:15:58.180 If you're convicted about being a sinner.

01:16:01.120 Which we were good kids.

01:16:02.840 Right.

01:16:03.140 You know.

01:16:03.360 So they were like you're.

01:16:04.680 Are you positive that you.

01:16:06.140 Whatever.

01:16:07.320 We went forward.

01:16:08.860 Me and my brother were getting prayed for.

01:16:09.920 But this woman. 0.93

01:16:10.400 This woman was attractive. 1.00

01:16:11.400 This was an attractive woman. 1.00

01:16:12.080 Oh yeah.

01:16:12.640 Touch me.

01:16:13.420 Yeah.

01:16:13.740 She was praying for us.

01:16:14.760 I mean pray.

01:16:15.400 Yeah.

01:16:15.580 Touch me on the shoulder.

01:16:16.520 And pray with me.

01:16:17.500 And I remember.

01:16:18.220 I'll never forget this.

01:16:19.280 And this is before I knew what the word meant.

01:16:20.980 Mm-hmm.

01:16:21.500 So.

01:16:22.860 She goes.

01:16:23.860 Just bless these boys.

01:16:25.260 Be with.

01:16:25.740 Like the.

01:16:26.180 They starts general.

01:16:27.200 The prayer starts general.

01:16:28.300 Yeah.

01:16:28.560 Walk with them.

01:16:29.660 Teach them your ways.

01:16:31.260 May they do your will.

01:16:33.180 Keep them out of trouble.

01:16:34.200 These type of things.

01:16:34.960 And then as you go on.

01:16:36.320 You kind of get more.

01:16:39.600 Confident.

01:16:40.140 You're hearing from the Lord.

01:16:41.340 Right.

01:16:41.660 Kind.

01:16:41.920 You start.

01:16:42.660 Kind of.

01:16:44.800 Guessing.

01:16:45.860 And she said.

01:16:47.160 I will never forget this.

01:16:48.320 She said.

01:16:48.660 I just pray.

01:16:49.780 That you.

01:16:50.140 I just asked that Lord.

01:16:51.360 That you would break. 0.97

01:16:52.200 The spirit of masturbation. 0.96

01:16:53.760 In their lives. 0.51

01:16:55.080 And we didn't know what it was.

01:16:56.900 No.

01:16:57.320 We did not know what it was.

01:16:59.920 Well.

01:17:00.100 He didn't know.

01:17:01.460 Dude.

01:17:02.080 I had to have been.

01:17:04.880 12.

01:17:05.720 Maybe.

01:17:06.480 Wow.

01:17:06.920 11 or 12.

01:17:07.920 I was homeschooled.

01:17:08.640 I didn't know.

01:17:09.160 Masturbation. 0.84

01:17:09.620 It sounds like a place almost.

01:17:11.100 If you don't know anything about it.

01:17:11.940 And it's a spirit.

01:17:13.200 Oh. 0.99

01:17:13.440 The spirit of masturbation. 0.97

01:17:14.560 Like it's. 0.95

01:17:15.040 It's like.

01:17:15.580 Sounds like a ghost.

01:17:16.320 Like it's.

01:17:18.280 And we asked our mom on the way home.

01:17:20.520 No.

01:17:21.000 We asked her.

01:17:22.520 I go.

01:17:22.820 What.

01:17:23.040 What.

01:17:23.360 What.

01:17:23.560 What.

01:17:23.800 She goes.

01:17:24.240 Where did you.

01:17:25.100 You know.

01:17:25.400 The youth camp.

01:17:26.080 She's thinking.

01:17:27.260 Right.

01:17:27.560 Kids.

01:17:28.000 Yeah.

01:17:28.480 You're out.

01:17:28.900 You're on the.

01:17:29.560 During archery.

01:17:30.500 Or the canoes.

01:17:31.180 And the kid.

01:17:31.720 That came up.

01:17:32.760 No.

01:17:33.340 It was during prayer.

01:17:34.860 Dude.

01:17:36.360 But think about it.

01:17:37.180 Think about it from her perspective.

01:17:38.380 If you're.

01:17:38.740 These two.

01:17:39.660 My brother was older than me.

01:17:40.700 So if I was 12.

01:17:41.320 He was 14.

01:17:42.160 That's probably.

01:17:44.960 Odds wise.

01:17:46.000 Yeah.

01:17:46.440 I mean.

01:17:48.080 Right.

01:17:48.580 Right.

01:17:49.040 Yeah.

01:17:49.560 She just guessed wrong.

01:17:50.440 Yeah.

01:17:51.040 She just guessed wrong.

01:17:52.440 Dude.

01:17:54.260 Dude.

01:17:54.720 I remember biking over to my friend's house.

01:17:56.720 Like five miles.

01:17:57.720 Because they had porno over there.

01:17:59.020 And I'd go over there. 0.86

01:17:59.760 And look.

01:18:00.700 Look at it.

01:18:02.060 Dude.

01:18:02.360 Dude.

01:18:02.820 I'd go and use his bathroom.

01:18:04.080 For like two hours.

01:18:05.240 Dude.

01:18:05.400 On a Sunday.

01:18:08.140 Just in there. 0.98

01:18:08.840 Just absorbing porno. 0.64

01:18:10.260 Dude.

01:18:10.560 Just like.

01:18:11.580 I remember even just.

01:18:12.580 I would lay down.

01:18:13.360 And just put the magazine.

01:18:14.540 On my.

01:18:15.280 On my.

01:18:15.920 On my skin.

01:18:16.900 And disabsorbed the porno. 1.00

01:18:20.880 That's what you.

01:18:21.860 At the time.

01:18:23.100 But that's what I needed man. 0.99

01:18:24.460 And then somebody had chiseled a set of tits. 1.00

01:18:26.620 In like a tree outside. 0.99

01:18:27.800 Back of our apartment building.

01:18:29.340 And people would be out there.

01:18:30.580 Like on the bark.

01:18:31.100 Yerking off to it.

01:18:32.360 No way.

01:18:32.780 Swear to God man.

01:18:34.220 And it was good looking man.

01:18:36.420 I mean it was for outdoors.

01:18:37.920 It was an artist.

01:18:38.860 He could have sold that if it wasn't on the tree.

01:18:40.800 I mean.

01:18:41.320 Yeah.

01:18:41.920 It got.

01:18:42.380 It got like these.

01:18:46.100 Larvas in it or whatever bud.

01:18:47.620 It messed up.

01:18:48.360 Yeah.

01:18:48.520 The messed up thighs. 0.55

01:18:49.960 They got the larva.

01:18:50.960 Yeah.

01:18:51.320 She used to be hotter when she was in her prime. 1.00

01:18:53.300 It had some varicose.

01:18:54.180 When she was in her prime.

01:18:55.360 Yeah.

01:18:55.480 It was varicose breasts after a while.

01:18:57.460 After a couple of years.

01:18:58.180 But the first year and a half.

01:18:59.300 First 18, 19 months.

01:19:00.540 That stuff was out there.

01:19:02.800 You'd see people out there man.

01:19:04.540 Well you did.

01:19:05.020 You did.

01:19:05.240 It was our Mount Rushmore dude.

01:19:07.380 What city?

01:19:08.560 Huh?

01:19:08.880 What city?

01:19:09.280 Covington, Louisiana.

01:19:10.460 Covington, Louisiana.

01:19:10.820 Up of McGee Street.

01:19:11.780 Praise God.

01:19:12.200 I bet I'm still there.

01:19:13.260 And we used to do Peep and Tom and too.

01:19:14.900 And that was big when I was young.

01:19:15.940 Again.

01:19:16.360 That was just like.

01:19:17.460 You got to differentiate.

01:19:20.200 Curiosity versus.

01:19:22.060 Right.

01:19:22.920 Because I.

01:19:23.580 Same.

01:19:24.160 Or like.

01:19:24.620 You just like.

01:19:25.480 Look to see.

01:19:26.560 But that you weren't.

01:19:27.480 Dude.

01:19:27.680 I remember my buddy and I.

01:19:28.940 One of my closest friends would sit there.

01:19:30.500 And sat there naked one time under a blanket.

01:19:32.380 Okay.

01:19:32.580 Not same.

01:19:34.440 He might be on your own on this one.

01:19:36.340 But yeah.

01:19:36.820 And we're just like touching each other's shoulders and stuff. 0.96

01:19:40.680 And it was hella gay bro. 0.80

01:19:42.340 We didn't know at the time. 0.90

01:19:43.540 You didn't know.

01:19:44.180 Yeah.

01:19:44.440 We wasn't being gay.

01:19:45.480 We was being children.

01:19:47.120 That's the difference.

01:19:47.900 Yeah.

01:19:48.140 Because they always say when there's a difference of an imbalance of power.

01:19:55.220 Yeah.

01:19:55.480 That's when I get like someone that's your boss.

01:19:57.980 Someone that's a parent.

01:19:59.280 Someone that's age.

01:20:00.380 Some kind of someone that like.

01:20:02.860 Yeah.

01:20:03.020 This was even Steven.

01:20:04.300 Yeah.

01:20:04.600 So then.

01:20:05.000 Yeah.

01:20:05.280 Yeah.

01:20:05.420 Yeah.

01:20:05.860 Yeah.

01:20:06.740 Which is true.

01:20:07.460 Which is also tricky because.

01:20:08.760 Once you come into power or you come into influence or you come into something.

01:20:17.100 Right.

01:20:17.120 Then it's all you automatically granted that without even realizing you.

01:20:20.560 That's it.

01:20:20.820 Maybe they should.

01:20:21.440 It just should come with like, hey, you got.

01:20:24.080 It also comes with this.

01:20:25.180 So just be like, you don't know when the transition happens.

01:20:27.980 You're like, oh, now I remember Jay Moore talking about.

01:20:30.940 Right.

01:20:31.160 You're like, now do women like me? 1.00

01:20:32.440 Just like, is it has nothing to do with me now?

01:20:35.400 Now it's different.

01:20:35.960 There should be some sort of a little.

01:20:38.420 Yeah.

01:20:38.520 They should send you a mailer or something that says, hey, Bubba.

01:20:40.940 Now you're different.

01:20:41.920 Now, like, you just need to take this into context.

01:20:45.140 Like if a Chili's.

01:20:46.940 If the Chili's server hooks up with the other Chili's server.

01:20:53.220 There's no problem.

01:20:54.800 That's a Saturday.

01:20:55.900 That's two for one.

01:20:56.580 That's two.

01:20:57.000 Yeah.

01:20:57.160 That's plus dessert.

01:20:58.200 Yeah.

01:20:58.800 But when the manager.

01:21:01.160 Or the boss.

01:21:03.160 Hooks up with the waitress.

01:21:04.500 Which happens all the time.

01:21:05.960 Or maybe that's not a good example.

01:21:07.580 But like.

01:21:07.840 But no.

01:21:08.280 Then you can't.

01:21:09.260 That's an imbalance.

01:21:10.200 Right.

01:21:10.320 That can't do that.

01:21:11.440 Because you.

01:21:11.960 Because she's.

01:21:12.980 If you say, hey, do you want to come over?

01:21:14.700 She's your.

01:21:15.640 You're her boss. 0.79

01:21:17.080 Right.

01:21:17.340 Well, the weird thing, though, is in your head.

01:21:19.080 For some people, the power never really changes.

01:21:21.460 You're just excited to finally have a way to to meet women.

01:21:25.320 Or you like women. 0.97

01:21:26.520 And you're excited about getting to see them or be naked around them. 1.00

01:21:30.440 And now it's like, fuck. 1.00

01:21:32.380 Now you can't do that. 1.00

01:21:33.620 Yeah.

01:21:34.060 It's like, again, when you're the waitress and the waitress, that's fine.

01:21:36.980 But that now.

01:21:39.200 Now, all of a sudden, I see he's.

01:21:41.160 Right.

01:21:41.480 Now.

01:21:42.100 Now, what about these text messages that we send each other?

01:21:44.380 Yeah.

01:21:44.660 We're like, well.

01:21:45.000 And that's scary to anybody, dude.

01:21:46.320 If a girl came out like. 1.00

01:21:47.800 Dude, there's escorts out there that I've texted some real, you know, probably some poignant information to.

01:21:54.620 Yeah.

01:21:54.740 You know.

01:21:55.340 Yeah.

01:21:55.880 And not no nudie pics.

01:21:57.260 I don't send nudies. 0.98

01:21:58.260 Yeah.

01:21:58.560 Yeah.

01:21:58.720 But things like if I would be ashamed, you know, I might be a little proud of myself.

01:22:05.720 But also, because the spelling was correct.

01:22:08.200 Depends on the screenshot.

01:22:09.100 Yeah.

01:22:09.280 But there's definitely like some convos would be like, man, that was not just embarrassment.

01:22:15.000 Yeah.

01:22:15.260 Yeah.

01:22:15.600 That's what I would feel like.

01:22:16.740 Not, not, not that.

01:22:18.480 But.

01:22:19.060 And the world doesn't care.

01:22:20.320 The world is more about like, well, let's see the embarrassment more than about what is the content?

01:22:24.840 What's going on with this person?

01:22:26.340 And, you know.

01:22:27.580 Yeah.

01:22:27.780 Yeah.

01:22:27.900 Yeah.

01:22:27.980 They remember that, that when at the race, the race, so I've, I've made jokes about like 0.84

01:22:36.500 the mayor, mayor Cooper.

01:22:38.140 Yeah.

01:22:38.640 I've said like at my, my comedy shows, the mayor's corrupt or like, cause he's raising taxes or

01:22:43.840 whatever it is.

01:22:44.240 I made jokes about him.

01:22:45.200 I go, do we have some great comedians in this country?

01:22:47.840 Are we, I do.

01:22:48.700 Nashville's got some amazing comedians.

01:22:50.040 Nate Bargatze, Theo Vaughn, mayor Cooper, like, like, but then at the race, he came out

01:22:56.240 and did like the.

01:22:57.400 Oh yeah.

01:22:57.820 He did that opening thing.

01:22:58.800 And they booed him.

01:23:00.280 I heard that.

01:23:01.400 So, and I immediately like rehab, if it does anything, it'll move you towards empathy.

01:23:07.080 Yeah.

01:23:07.380 And I go, oh, I don't, I don't like this.

01:23:11.580 This is a man.

01:23:12.900 I saw him.

01:23:13.800 I, I didn't make eye contact, but I go, this is a guy that now he might be, he might be

01:23:18.260 corrupt or he might, but he, he's trying to serve.

01:23:22.920 I don't know, but we can't, we, this is not the way.

01:23:26.520 Right.

01:23:26.900 And, and I felt, I felt empathy.

01:23:28.780 I go, I don't, I wanted to DM him and be like, Hey dude, I was, it makes me cry to think

01:23:33.880 about like, I was, I don't.

01:23:35.340 Right.

01:23:35.580 I was there.

01:23:36.040 Sorry how that probably felt.

01:23:37.180 I could understand how that felt.

01:23:38.340 And I go, I've made fun of you on my show.

01:23:40.120 I just want to let you know that I've been through my own stuff and I, and we, you didn't

01:23:44.420 deserve that.

01:23:45.580 Right.

01:23:46.220 That crowd is probably a lot of conservatives in the crowd.

01:23:48.540 I would guess.

01:23:49.180 Maybe that wasn't, he shouldn't have taken that gig.

01:23:51.480 He was probably doing to try and grab some face with conservatives.

01:23:54.160 Yeah.

01:23:54.440 Yeah.

01:23:54.560 I'm sure he's back in with the city, but he canceled those are strategic and he canceled

01:23:58.640 races at that track for all during COVID.

01:24:00.920 Oh, well.

01:24:01.700 And so maybe, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:24:02.900 And they knew that they, yeah, they all knew it.

01:24:05.260 It was not the move, but I remember I went to the Hawks game, the Hawks Sixers game about

01:24:10.120 a month ago in Atlanta and Ben Simmons plays for the Sixers.

01:24:13.280 Yeah.

01:24:14.300 Kid is a phenom.

01:24:15.900 I remember he played at LSU.

01:24:17.440 An all-star, right?

01:24:18.400 This kid was a million, million dollar contract and, and, and in the playoffs kind of fell

01:24:23.360 apart.

01:24:23.840 Duncan passed it.

01:24:24.780 And he was very timid.

01:24:26.020 He's very, and I remember being there crushing him, dude.

01:24:30.940 And then somebody was like, I read on ESPN or something like 22 years old.

01:24:36.660 And I go, I feel some kind of way about this.

01:24:42.220 Now, now this kid's in his hotel room with a phone.

01:24:46.580 Right.

01:24:46.740 But see, that's where we, that's where it gets weird is when we do we, it's tough.

01:24:51.320 That's the tough thing about being a comedian and doing, because you're like, it's tough

01:24:55.900 to be empathetic, but also want to be able to just rip on stuff and be funny and be a

01:25:00.800 sports fan and be, and be Bill Burr said that, remember Burt Kreischer asked him if he

01:25:05.240 ever wanted to meet the president?

01:25:06.400 He said, no, because I never want to meet him because if I meet him, then I can't crush

01:25:13.980 him because I empathize.

01:25:16.340 I know Donald Trump.

01:25:17.520 He's a buddy of mine.

01:25:18.900 I can't.

01:25:19.700 Right.

01:25:21.000 And that, and that's, but that's not the right way to live.

01:25:23.560 You know what I'm saying?

01:25:24.640 Yeah.

01:25:24.960 It's tough.

01:25:25.140 It's tricky, dude.

01:25:26.240 It's tricky.

01:25:27.040 It's true.

01:25:27.260 That's, look, I think that's one of the battles of everything, but also it's like, we've

01:25:30.920 also created an environment now where there's constant information about everything.

01:25:35.000 So there's so much stuff to be empathetic for that you almost get exhausted.

01:25:39.160 That you can't be like the, the refugees. 1.00

01:25:41.400 You're like, I don't, I don't have the capacity.

01:25:43.340 Yeah.

01:25:43.460 I mean, I've felt even on, on, on this past weekend, on some of the solo episodes, we'll

01:25:47.280 talk a lot about like, you know, try and listen to things that are going on with people.

01:25:51.100 And I love it, you know, and I love like, cause a lot of people all call privately and

01:25:55.040 just chat and stuff.

01:25:56.160 And, and, you know, it's important to me and it, and you can tell sometimes that it's, that

01:26:00.460 it's feels good to them to connect with somebody, but.

01:26:04.180 But you can't take on everybody.

01:26:05.680 Sometimes having to, yeah, it's like, it's like, yeah, you feel like how I can't do, you

01:26:11.800 can't do everything.

01:26:13.900 Nobody can.

01:26:14.720 And sometimes we, we want to, and sometimes like, like I notice I'll text people and ask

01:26:19.280 how they're doing sometimes.

01:26:20.560 You've done that to me.

01:26:20.960 And the truth is I do that.

01:26:23.180 I feel like, cause I mean, one, I care.

01:26:24.800 I want to know, I want them to know somebody cares, but also I wish people did that to

01:26:28.960 me.

01:26:29.520 Yes.

01:26:29.700 Yes.

01:26:30.160 Yeah.

01:26:30.340 We all do those things, you know?

01:26:31.780 So I remember I was in my deepest shame when I was in the real, real darkness.

01:26:37.680 And when we had a, a green room that overlooked the parking lot of the, of the show.

01:26:44.520 And it was like, is it by Hampton Inn?

01:26:46.440 It was, uh, that depends on the night.

01:26:48.720 Was it in Baton Rouge?

01:26:50.960 No, it was in the South though.

01:26:52.280 Maybe at Jackson or some city like that.

01:26:54.440 And I remember our, our green room had a window looked out over the, and it was, it

01:26:58.880 was an hour before the show.

01:27:00.940 And that line was hundreds of yards.

01:27:04.280 And these people were so excited.

01:27:08.880 Oh, this is their Superbowl, dude.

01:27:10.400 This is, and I was like, I was, I was like, and I was in a dark, dark place in my, and I

01:27:16.100 couldn't watch it.

01:27:16.920 I go, you got to take me out of here.

01:27:17.920 I can't.

01:27:18.440 I've never experienced that before, but I'm a comedian.

01:27:23.340 All I want to do is that.

01:27:25.360 Right.

01:27:25.640 To go like, this is my guy, dude.

01:27:28.100 This guy makes me laugh.

01:27:29.240 We drove four hours.

01:27:30.620 Yeah.

01:27:30.780 We got the tickets.

01:27:31.780 Here's the tickets.

01:27:32.640 They're the truck.

01:27:34.220 This it's gonna.

01:27:36.420 We're right.

01:27:36.900 And I, I couldn't, my shame wouldn't allow me to.

01:27:41.140 Why?

01:27:41.720 Like, what is it you think?

01:27:42.720 Like, you're ashamed?

01:27:43.380 Like, what?

01:27:44.600 Well, I don't, I think it was like these, these, if, if I felt worthless.

01:27:49.140 So when people drove four hours and say, we love you, that was hard for me to, because

01:27:56.020 I saw, it used to be just a big crowd.

01:27:57.860 Now I saw a guy and his wife and their friend.

01:28:00.640 And I go, it made it, I go, I can't look at this, dude.

01:28:04.440 This is, or like, dude, the lines wrapped around the, I go, I can't look at that.

01:28:08.140 Yeah, it's hard for me to mean, it's hard for me to feel like, it's hard for me to see

01:28:11.020 that I mean something to someone.

01:28:12.580 When you don't, when you're working on meaning something to yourself.

01:28:15.960 Or when I felt like, I think I felt for a long time that I didn't mean anything to

01:28:21.040 anyone.

01:28:21.880 Yes.

01:28:22.500 And for me, that's a lot of it.

01:28:23.860 And when someone says, someone watches this podcast, connects with you and says, hey,

01:28:30.080 the closest Theo is coming to me is eight hours.

01:28:35.720 I'm going to drive to see him.

01:28:38.780 Does that, would that, would that DM make you nervous?

01:28:41.900 Oh, it just makes me feel like, it almost makes me feel sad a little bit, not for them,

01:28:48.680 but it just makes me feel, not sad, it makes me feel.

01:28:53.860 It makes me feel like I'm never going to be able to do something to repay them.

01:29:00.100 That they've, they've saved your life kind of in a way.

01:29:05.920 Yeah, or just like, man, they're, they're doing this.

01:29:08.440 Like, man, I'm not worth that.

01:29:10.540 You want to say, hey, well, next tour, don't, I'll come closer.

01:29:14.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:14.920 Don't do it.

01:29:15.440 Don't go out of your way for me.

01:29:16.900 But they, but they.

01:29:18.120 Right.

01:29:18.520 But to them, it's a different, right?

01:29:20.100 It's their world.

01:29:20.960 And if you let them have their joy and stuff like that.

01:29:22.540 And that thing inside of me, don't go out of your way for me.

01:29:25.280 It's like.

01:29:26.420 All you ever wanted was for someone to go out of their way.

01:29:29.040 Go out of their way for me.

01:29:29.560 God, that makes me emotional, dude.

01:29:31.400 Like.

01:29:33.280 And look, man, I'm not saying any of this stuff.

01:29:35.020 Like, I'm not like, you know, I'm not in some Debbie Downer thing or anything like that.

01:29:39.980 But everybody, if the comedian or not, everybody could relate to that.

01:29:43.040 But it's like, yeah, I think I'll always just.

01:29:46.000 Somebody said, hey, Theo, of all these comics, of all the shows, we're choosing you.

01:29:51.760 Right.

01:29:52.200 And even if it's a monetary exchange, you're giving them a thing.

01:29:55.880 It's.

01:29:56.120 But.

01:29:56.620 Right.

01:29:57.100 It's like, man, it's just.

01:29:59.080 It feels like.

01:30:00.200 You want to.

01:30:00.740 You want to tell them that you're not worth that.

01:30:02.860 But they have decided you.

01:30:04.980 Like, if I went to.

01:30:05.940 Right.

01:30:06.120 And then it makes me almost jealous that I wish I could decide that I'm worth that.

01:30:10.020 Yeah.

01:30:10.440 You're like.

01:30:11.120 Which is.

01:30:12.120 When I got out of rehab, everybody said, dude, we love you.

01:30:14.160 I go, what?

01:30:14.980 If you went to prison tomorrow.

01:30:19.460 I remember when I was in rehab, we are.

01:30:21.440 There's a month or there's three weeks where there's a blackout period.

01:30:24.320 You can't talk to anybody.

01:30:25.180 Right.

01:30:25.880 No.

01:30:26.140 But.

01:30:26.380 And I got after.

01:30:27.140 Really?

01:30:27.520 Wow.

01:30:27.800 Three weeks.

01:30:28.720 And I thought my life.

01:30:29.820 I thought my life.

01:30:30.420 That was when I was as close to wanting to end my life because I just.

01:30:34.940 But after three weeks, there's a whiteboard.

01:30:38.440 And when you have a letter or a note, they write your name and your last initial.

01:30:44.340 So it's three weeks.

01:30:44.980 I heard nothing.

01:30:45.680 And all of a sudden I walk in.

01:30:47.680 John C.

01:30:50.680 And I.

01:30:51.620 Think about.

01:30:52.340 I was in.

01:30:54.780 Wickenburg, Arizona with with a bunch of dudes and your buddy.

01:31:00.640 And I didn't know.

01:31:01.700 No, no, nothing of just trying to.

01:31:03.300 They tell you when to go to the bathroom, when to eat, when to sleep.

01:31:05.780 And it said, John C.

01:31:08.480 And I went up there.

01:31:14.160 And they.

01:31:14.740 It was a little like, you know, when back in the day when like you called the office and

01:31:18.460 the boss is gone, but they write a little.

01:31:21.600 Samantha called from from accounting. 0.99

01:31:24.360 Right.

01:31:24.960 Give you the little away, whatever that was.

01:31:27.240 And they hand me this message.

01:31:29.080 And I looked at it.

01:31:30.700 I was right in the atrium there.

01:31:31.920 I was like, this is like one of those like moments you remember forever.

01:31:34.220 And I said.

01:31:36.140 He said, your parents are coming to see you.

01:31:38.400 Your parents are coming.

01:31:40.700 You didn't know they were coming.

01:31:45.440 No, I didn't know they were coming, but I thought I ruined.

01:31:48.940 I thought I go, why would my I embarrassed the family name.

01:31:52.840 I.

01:31:53.180 My dad's a pastor.

01:31:55.060 My mom works at the school, the Christian school.

01:31:57.520 My dad's in politics.

01:31:59.380 John Crist is on Fox News, CNN, USA Today.

01:32:05.980 What do you mean?

01:32:07.000 And they cared.

01:32:08.900 And it was like for a week.

01:32:10.300 They came for a week.

01:32:11.360 It's like.

01:32:11.820 And that's all I ever wanted my whole life is my parents to say that like they and I was like, and I wanted to tell him, tell him I'm not to come.

01:32:21.000 Tell him I'm I'll be done and whatever.

01:32:24.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:32:25.320 And all it was like, I was so shocked by that, that they wanted to do that.

01:32:30.680 I think.

01:32:31.720 But what year is your parents?

01:32:33.160 Right.

01:32:33.360 Why would they?

01:32:33.960 Why would they not?

01:32:34.760 Where did you get that idea?

01:32:36.120 Like, where did you get that idea that people wouldn't?

01:32:38.240 It just happened.

01:32:38.860 I don't know.

01:32:39.660 I was.

01:32:39.840 Yeah.

01:32:40.100 I don't know where that that thing comes from.

01:32:42.100 Where did you where did you ever get that idea that your parents when you were in the most amount of need?

01:32:46.520 This is their child that is struggling.

01:32:49.860 Where?

01:32:50.740 Why would you think that they wouldn't come to see you?

01:32:54.440 I don't.

01:32:55.260 I don't know.

01:32:55.880 That's what that's what the whole process.

01:32:57.520 That's how it landed on us.

01:32:59.020 Yes.

01:32:59.540 And every day, dude, every day.

01:33:02.220 I don't want to make a bigger deal about this.

01:33:03.700 It is, but like, you know, as you're in rehab, a guy would get a piece of mail once every three weeks.

01:33:11.020 Maybe someone would get a piece of mail for my wife or from a child or something.

01:33:15.460 Every day, stacks of mail for me.

01:33:20.020 And I didn't know these people.

01:33:21.440 Really?

01:33:21.740 They either through my management company or through my family or a friend of a friend.

01:33:27.160 People were like, just stacks of mail, dude.

01:33:30.180 And all these people didn't really know me that well.

01:33:34.120 I mean, my family did, but it was people like, hey, my daughter is the GM of the club that you worked at in Denver.

01:33:44.700 And she likes y'all.

01:33:47.120 And I have the same story.

01:33:49.300 And I need to tell you that it's okay.

01:33:52.620 I have to.

01:33:53.320 I'm compelled to get this message to you.

01:33:56.260 Wow.

01:33:56.360 They were so moved, but it was all people that have been to the dark.

01:34:00.840 Right.

01:34:01.100 That looked the devil in the eye.

01:34:03.140 It was all of those people.

01:34:04.620 And for me to refuse, I don't.

01:34:09.520 To not let them love you is.

01:34:12.980 It's almost the same.

01:34:14.480 Right.

01:34:16.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:17.780 When somebody says, hey, Theo, comedian or not, you're my guy, dude.

01:34:23.520 You need something.

01:34:24.000 It's like, that can't be.

01:34:25.760 And now we're always thinking someone wants to take something from us.

01:34:28.540 Someone wants to use us.

01:34:30.080 Yeah.

01:34:30.460 I think comedian or not, that thing.

01:34:32.340 Whatever that is, that's really.

01:34:33.480 And you go, it can't.

01:34:34.400 That hits me.

01:34:35.000 It's like, what do you mean?

01:34:35.720 Like, if I'm not something extremely special.

01:34:39.580 You can't just.

01:34:40.380 You'll never see me.

01:34:41.480 That's what I always felt like.

01:34:42.440 Never.

01:34:42.960 Like, unless I stand out.

01:34:45.960 Yeah.

01:34:46.280 Like, as much as possible.

01:34:48.340 And go over.

01:34:49.760 Right.

01:34:50.300 Then I'll never be seen.

01:34:51.840 And what happens if you're never seen?

01:34:54.380 That's a death sentence.

01:34:55.820 Yeah. 0.83

01:34:56.180 For a guy like me, death sentence. 0.96

01:34:57.420 Oh, I think it's a death sentence for any human. 0.83

01:34:59.340 Yeah.

01:34:59.980 And what's scary is, when everything happened to me, like, people were saying the most horrific

01:35:06.180 things about me on the internet.

01:35:07.580 And by everything happened, it was stuff like, things came up.

01:35:12.700 That you admitted some lewd information with people.

01:35:14.480 Yeah.

01:35:14.820 Yeah.

01:35:14.960 That I was, like, sexting girls.

01:35:16.620 Sexting girls. 0.93

01:35:17.060 It wasn't anything.

01:35:17.980 No, it wasn't.

01:35:18.720 Yeah.

01:35:19.280 Anything non-traumatic.

01:35:20.320 And nothing non-consensual.

01:35:21.680 Nothing.

01:35:21.940 It was just a guy.

01:35:23.420 Right.

01:35:23.520 And.

01:35:24.560 But also, when you attach it with Christianity.

01:35:26.320 Yeah, I was working in church.

01:35:27.280 When you were working in churches and stuff like that, everything has a different taboo to it.

01:35:30.320 Which is fair.

01:35:31.140 Right.

01:35:31.280 And I say, I've said.

01:35:32.700 That's a good point.

01:35:33.380 I've said.

01:35:34.000 It's interesting.

01:35:34.620 If you work at a company and they said, you can only wear jeans on Friday and you wear jeans on Thursday and you get fired, you knew the rules of the company.

01:35:44.580 That might be a BS rule.

01:35:46.540 But you knew.

01:35:47.220 I knew when I'm working in churches that you can't get hammered and bring girls to your hotel room. 1.00

01:35:52.240 Right.

01:35:52.760 And I did that.

01:35:53.580 Right.

01:35:53.920 And you get fired.

01:35:55.620 Fair.

01:35:56.280 No moral, is this a good guy or a bad guy.

01:35:59.180 Those are the rules.

01:36:00.340 Spoken or unspoken.

01:36:01.180 I took the job.

01:36:02.120 Right.

01:36:02.440 Fair.

01:36:03.200 Yeah, it's a good point.

01:36:03.960 If it had just been comedy clubs and stuff, it would be different.

01:36:06.380 But when you have churches and stuff, it's different.

01:36:07.840 Sure.

01:36:08.580 Which is like the worst, the worst.

01:36:14.200 You know, I'd read all these comments of people saying these most horrific things.

01:36:17.320 Oh, it's the hardest.

01:36:17.600 Yeah, it's horrible.

01:36:18.340 But you know, my buddies joke about this.

01:36:20.400 My buddies in a group text.

01:36:22.120 He goes, you know what?

01:36:22.760 You know what comment hurt the worst?

01:36:25.160 It's kind of funny, but it's kind of like some guy goes, who's John Crist?

01:36:29.500 Oh.

01:36:32.360 Man.

01:36:32.720 Which you get that.

01:36:33.700 Totally.

01:36:34.420 You're like, it's all, but people are talking about me.

01:36:37.460 If Donald Trump is on the front of the New York Times, he wins.

01:36:40.720 He wins.

01:36:41.900 No matter what it's saying. 0.99

01:36:43.940 Nobel Peace Prize or got caught with a hooker. 0.95

01:36:47.980 Yeah. 0.97

01:36:48.280 If he's on the front, people are talking about him as a narcissist.

01:36:55.600 You win.

01:36:56.200 And somebody goes, who is this?

01:37:00.520 It was, it crushed me, dude.

01:37:06.160 You're like, that's tough, dude.

01:37:07.520 That's tough.

01:37:08.460 Yeah.

01:37:08.560 I think when I was growing up, there was such little, I had a sister that was real sick.

01:37:13.180 She had a liver disease when she was born.

01:37:14.800 So she needed a liver transplant. 1.00

01:37:15.960 And so she got any affection my mother had, she got.

01:37:23.140 And she got to be around nurses, like people that were real caring.

01:37:25.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:37:26.300 All, a lot of attention.

01:37:27.420 A lot of attention, yeah.

01:37:28.420 Yeah, yeah.

01:37:28.900 And the rest of us just didn't get it.

01:37:31.100 We just didn't get it.

01:37:33.400 And also, here's one thing I want to say about that kind of stuff is like, I could have gotten

01:37:39.740 it, but I didn't feel like I got it.

01:37:42.540 So that's another thing.

01:37:43.720 Everybody's like, my parents, this and that.

01:37:45.280 Right.

01:37:45.740 If you ever want to talk to your parents about stuff, like one way to do it is you can say-

01:37:49.560 That's a great point.

01:37:50.720 I didn't feel, this is how it felt to me.

01:37:53.280 So that way, it's like, you're not attacking them.

01:37:55.940 And they're not the enemy.

01:37:57.280 And they're not the enemy. 0.84

01:37:58.020 You're like, hey, like my pastor who would ask me if I masturbated, like, I would like

01:38:05.200 to talk to him now and be like, hey, this seemed like a little shame-based, but also

01:38:10.200 that guy was trying to help.

01:38:13.440 Yeah, he was trying to help.

01:38:14.320 Now, it wasn't.

01:38:15.240 It wasn't, but your parents, like, my dad was like, oh, he was gone a lot at conferences.

01:38:19.520 He was like, yeah, but I had eight kids.

01:38:20.640 I needed to get the money to.

01:38:23.100 Right.

01:38:23.420 It kind of wasn't, you didn't get the love the way you wanted it.

01:38:28.020 Right.

01:38:28.560 You wanted your dad to play catch with you.

01:38:30.360 Right.

01:38:30.520 But he wanted a certain type of serving and they didn't have that.

01:38:33.700 That's it.

01:38:34.560 You wanted some Thousand Island.

01:38:36.160 All we got is ranch at this house. 0.98

01:38:37.560 And the crazy thing, they didn't have it also because nobody ever gave it to them.

01:38:42.060 That's where you also are.

01:38:43.300 So, like, a lot of us are suffering the genetic, the third generation of something that happened

01:38:48.540 generations ago.

01:38:50.260 My buddy, Isaac, when I went, so I was homeschooled first to eighth grade, then I went to private

01:38:55.640 school.

01:38:56.180 Dang.

01:38:56.540 And I was always hanging with him.

01:38:58.480 And he would, every time his parents, they would leave him out.

01:39:03.340 Hey, you're going to the movies, leave the car, off the phone, off the, they would go,

01:39:07.580 we love you.

01:39:08.600 Isaac, I love you.

01:39:10.720 And I never, no one ever said that to me in my house.

01:39:14.480 No one ever said, John, I love you.

01:39:16.660 It just wasn't, did my parents love me?

01:39:19.580 My parents, my mom said she, when I was in rehab, I said, she said she would give her life

01:39:24.340 for me.

01:39:24.900 Wow.

01:39:25.160 She said that to me.

01:39:25.940 And I believe that.

01:39:27.100 Right.

01:39:27.600 And she would.

01:39:29.160 But does that make sense?

01:39:30.920 I never, I go, how come, and you get a little bit of a scar, maybe, because you're like,

01:39:36.020 what?

01:39:36.560 Why didn't you tell me that?

01:39:38.200 Yeah, but their parents never, you know what I'm saying?

01:39:40.700 Right, they don't know.

01:39:41.420 Yeah, they don't know.

01:39:42.340 But so here's the thing, then, if you have children, you could tell, you know, get specific

01:39:46.940 with them sometimes about how you feel if you think that they may not know.

01:39:50.720 No, because I think in my house, I think my mom always just assumed we knew also.

01:39:55.540 That, of course, we love you, Theo.

01:39:57.140 Right.

01:39:57.420 Of course, I love you.

01:39:58.140 Of course, we're a family unit.

01:39:59.520 We never knew any of those things.

01:40:01.060 We felt like we were.

01:40:02.260 I love you.

01:40:02.460 You were out on your scavenging, out on your, by yourself.

01:40:05.120 Yeah.

01:40:05.500 To get, and, and.

01:40:06.980 And so then, yeah, yeah.

01:40:08.580 But you got to get, if you didn't get that.

01:40:10.900 And I felt like I needed to get everybody in the world to love me so I could get my mom to

01:40:15.360 love me.

01:40:16.220 By default, look at all these people that are at my shows.

01:40:18.600 Right.

01:40:18.780 Like, surely, and then what's odd, what's very odd, which is like our relationship is

01:40:23.640 like, you burn your life to the ground, and that's when your parents show up.

01:40:29.220 But they, to be fair, they came to every comedy show they could within six hours.

01:40:32.840 They will come to, they, you know what I'm saying?

01:40:35.240 But that's what meant the most is when they came.

01:40:37.860 John C.

01:40:38.660 Oh, man, dude.

01:40:39.920 That should be my new name, dude.

01:40:41.300 Yeah, it should, man.

01:40:42.280 John C.

01:40:42.740 Yeah.

01:40:43.600 It's interesting.

01:40:44.340 Once you're in kind of some of the recovery world, it's interesting to have somebody else to

01:40:47.920 talk to about this kind of stuff, you know?

01:40:49.780 Yeah.

01:40:49.940 So, I just want to say, I appreciate you, man.

01:40:52.040 I appreciate you being willing to, just even when you and I are out of here, whenever,

01:40:55.640 wherever we are, you know, I feel like we're always willing to kind of talk about some of

01:40:58.580 this kind of stuff.

01:40:59.100 Yeah, we've been in, to be fair, we've been in the light and the darkness together.

01:41:04.180 We've been in meetings together.

01:41:05.840 Oh, yeah.

01:41:06.280 And then we've also been.

01:41:07.140 Oh, yeah.

01:41:07.860 Trying to holler at girls. 0.98

01:41:08.920 I was trying to buy drugs that one night at that freaking bar, remember? 0.97

01:41:12.200 Yes. 0.98

01:41:12.720 Jesus Christ.

01:41:13.960 Thank God.

01:41:14.800 Thank God they didn't have it.

01:41:17.000 Yeah.

01:41:17.380 Thank God they didn't have it.

01:41:18.180 But you're like, I don't know.

01:41:20.260 That one lady got her glasses stuck in her nose ring. 1.00

01:41:22.800 That lady was out of her mind. 1.00

01:41:24.200 But you don't have any kind of like a, yeah, when it's past the point of like, I'm not

01:41:35.900 here to get anything from you and you're not here to get anything from me because we're

01:41:38.660 both, whatever I have, you have.

01:41:40.100 And whatever you have, I already have.

01:41:41.640 So, if you said, hey, and I've said probably in the past year that we both kind of come

01:41:49.620 and gone from the darkness to the light.

01:41:52.460 Like, you know, there are periods where I struggle.

01:41:59.080 Oh, yeah.

01:41:59.600 You get a little bit shadowy.

01:42:00.500 Yeah.

01:42:00.760 And you go, yeah.

01:42:01.260 But all you're doing, but you're not doing anything bad.

01:42:03.340 No, no, no.

01:42:04.000 You're just challenging your own kind of newer set of boundaries.

01:42:08.640 And you're just like, hey, do you want to go to a meeting?

01:42:14.120 I know.

01:42:14.860 When I say no, and then I start, you know, I start isolating or doing that kind of stuff.

01:42:18.000 You just want to kind of not be in the light.

01:42:24.040 But every time we go to a meeting, it's like, that's whatever that is.

01:42:31.580 That's Christ, man.

01:42:32.860 That's Christ.

01:42:33.360 Yeah.

01:42:33.540 You make a joke out of it, but it's not.

01:42:34.620 But it is, man.

01:42:35.260 Seeing people connect, seeing people touch.

01:42:37.340 That's God.

01:42:37.640 Remember that guy at that meeting?

01:42:38.820 That last one when he was crying?

01:42:40.560 Yeah.

01:42:40.780 He was sitting right next to us.

01:42:41.880 Grown man.

01:42:42.080 He was so happy because his wife, it was better.

01:42:44.360 Grown man had gotten a divorce.

01:42:47.100 Balling, dude.

01:42:47.780 And he, how many people were at that meeting?

01:42:49.560 50?

01:42:50.440 There's a lot of people there.

01:42:51.940 And he went and started talking about, I don't know what he was talking about.

01:42:55.760 And he just started, he fell apart, man.

01:42:57.880 Yeah.

01:42:58.220 And you got to wonder how many people are walking out in this everywhere tonight just close,

01:43:07.200 close to coming undone, dude, you know?

01:43:10.240 Well, especially in today's world, we want to get anything that feels human.

01:43:14.480 And it resonates with you in a chord that's on, that's a connection that's of a higher

01:43:21.220 power.

01:43:21.440 When that adult man broke down and started crying because the wife that had left him,

01:43:28.700 was she doing, her health was doing better or something like that?

01:43:30.860 Yeah.

01:43:31.060 She was sober.

01:43:31.420 I don't want to compromise anybody.

01:43:33.240 I think she's a couple years sober.

01:43:34.080 Yeah.

01:43:34.540 And he goes, I'm so proud of, and I'm just so-

01:43:37.460 Great.

01:43:37.720 That she's healthy.

01:43:40.000 That's too much.

01:43:41.600 I mean, it's not too much, but it's the, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:44.480 And what, but you can serve him by just by being there and listening.

01:43:47.860 It hits that heart harp, dog.

01:43:49.280 And say, get all the way in.

01:43:50.480 That goes all the way in, bro.

01:43:51.580 It plays that heart harp.

01:43:53.620 John, Chris, if you guys haven't seen a lot of John's videos, they're so, dude, I am so

01:43:58.780 envious, dude.

01:44:00.460 You, Kyle Dunning, and there's a couple guys that I'm just so envious.

01:44:04.360 I love Kyle.

01:44:04.940 That makes such creative and entertaining stuff.

01:44:07.360 And go check it out.

01:44:08.760 You have a new tour that's going on too this fall.

01:44:11.000 Yeah.

01:44:11.240 Fall tour.

01:44:11.740 Every theater you're coming to, I'm probably going to.

01:44:13.920 The week before, the week after.

01:44:15.180 Cool, man.

01:44:15.780 And some even bigger ones.

01:44:16.740 I think, I know you're going to be on in Baton Rouge too.

01:44:18.480 So I think I might try to go down and do that.

01:44:20.880 Go down with my family.

01:44:22.020 Remember that one time you came on my show?

01:44:24.140 Uh-uh.

01:44:24.560 Yeah, you did.

01:44:25.260 It was my show.

01:44:26.620 Oh, at the.

01:44:27.500 That was Zane's.

01:44:28.260 Zane's, yeah.

01:44:29.360 And I think that's too edgy.

01:44:30.680 Yeah, I didn't either.

01:44:32.820 I go, did you tell him that it was like a church crowd?

01:44:36.100 I go, no, he's a comedian, dude.

01:44:37.820 I mean, he said that joke about the guy about by the fence.

01:44:41.640 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:44:44.400 I shouldn't have told that one.

01:44:47.020 But I say the same thing, dude.

01:44:48.240 Go see Theo's show, man.

01:44:49.220 You'll love it, dude.

01:44:50.120 Thanks, brother.

01:44:50.660 I appreciate it, man.

01:44:51.280 Love you, bro.

01:44:51.680 Thanks for coming on.

01:44:52.620 And yeah, we'll have to hit a meeting soon.

01:44:54.980 Same to you, brother.

01:44:55.660 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

01:44:59.100 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

01:45:02.060 I must be cornerstone

01:45:05.400 Oh, but when I reach that ground

01:45:09.960 I'll share this peace of mind

01:45:12.100 I found I can feel it in my bones

01:45:16.280 But it's gonna take a little time

01:45:21.940 For me to set that parking brake

01:45:25.780 And let myself unwind

01:45:28.560 Shine that light on me

01:45:32.560 I'll sit and tell you my stories

01:45:38.280 Shine on me

01:45:43.240 And I will find a song

01:45:47.460 I will sing it just for you

01:45:50.860 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite

01:45:54.320 And welcome to Kite Club

01:45:55.640 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events

01:45:59.300 Stand-up stories

01:46:00.520 And seven ways to pleasure your partner

01:46:02.840 The answer may shock you

01:46:04.740 Sometimes I'll interview my friends

01:46:06.760 Sometimes I won't

01:46:08.080 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head

01:46:11.580 You have three new voice messages

01:46:14.460 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club

01:46:17.460 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long

01:46:20.260 Longer than anybody else

01:46:21.900 So great

01:46:22.680 Hi, sweetie

01:46:24.300 Here's a deal

01:46:25.720 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club 1.00

01:46:28.180 Is a dodgy bloody wanker 1.00

01:46:30.220 Jermaine 0.99

01:46:30.940 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese

01:46:34.220 And a McFlurry

01:46:35.220 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken

01:46:37.100 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me

01:46:42.040 Anyway

01:46:42.500 First rule of Kite Club is

01:46:44.460 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:46:46.180 Second rule of Kite Club is

01:46:48.120 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:46:50.380 Third rule

01:46:51.160 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts

01:46:54.020 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:46:56.380 And yes, don't worry

01:46:57.420 My Brad Pitt impression will get better

01:46:59.460 Thank you for listening to Kite Club

01:47:01.280 Thank you for listening to Kite Club

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 21, 2021

E350 John Crist

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