This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 13, 2022


E375 Blair Socci


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 37 minutes

Words per minute

185.23729

Word count

18,082

Sentence count

1,835

Harmful content

Misogyny

27

sentences flagged

Toxicity

311

sentences flagged

Hate speech

37

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Blair Saki is a comedian and breathwork teacher. She started breathwork at the beginning of the pandemic and has since become a certified breathwork instructor. She is also a singer and singer-songwriter and has written and performed a song just for me.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Welcome to the show today, guys. I want to let you know that I have some tour dates.
00:00:05.020 If you want to see me in live, in the live space, visual, real-time, they call it IRL.
00:00:12.720 Jacksonville, Florida, February 2nd, I'll be there.
00:00:16.040 St. Petersburg, Florida, February 3rd.
00:00:19.340 Orlando, Florida, February 5th.
00:00:22.520 Lafayette, Indiana, February 24th.
00:00:24.780 Rockford, Illinois, February 25th.
00:00:26.820 Chicago, Illinois, February 26th.
00:00:31.000 Tulsa, Oklahoma, oh, that's sold out now, May 6th.
00:00:34.080 We may add one there.
00:00:35.760 And then Los Angeles, California at the Wiltern, May 7th.
00:00:39.960 That is all Return of the Rat Tour.
00:00:42.580 You can grab those tickets or on sale now, theovon.com slash tour.
00:00:47.880 Today's guest is a comedian and a licensed breathwork teacher.
00:00:53.080 I've been taking classes with her, and I'm really excited that she's here.
00:00:58.000 Miss Blair Saki.
00:01:00.420 Shine that light on me
00:01:05.140 I'll sit and tell you my stories
00:01:11.100 Shine on me
00:01:15.840 And I will find a song
00:01:20.060 I've been singing just for me
00:01:23.420 And now I've been moving
00:01:29.660 Blair Sochi, Sochi?
00:01:31.400 Saki.
00:01:32.160 Saki, dang.
00:01:32.980 Like the drink.
00:01:34.600 Oh, wow.
00:01:35.700 It's not intuitive, don't worry.
00:01:37.780 What do you mean intuitive?
00:01:39.320 Like, you would think it's Sochi.
00:01:42.220 You know what I mean?
00:01:43.240 Oh, so I shouldn't feel bad since I didn't get it right.
00:01:45.640 Yeah.
00:01:45.660 Mm-hmm.
00:01:46.100 Yeah.
00:01:47.140 Yeah, I guess I always in my head have been calling you Blair Sochi.
00:01:50.920 Yeah, whatever you want.
00:01:52.060 Yeah?
00:01:52.940 Mm-hmm.
00:01:53.800 Yeah, it's good.
00:01:54.620 I think I could see you being either one.
00:01:57.600 Yeah, some of my best friends don't even know how it's pronounced.
00:02:00.140 I don't really care.
00:02:01.460 Yeah.
00:02:04.480 So I know you through breathwork.
00:02:09.600 I know you do stand-up comedy, right?
00:02:11.640 Mm-hmm.
00:02:11.820 But then a friend of mine turned me on to you recently about doing breathwork.
00:02:17.740 Yeah.
00:02:17.980 And I didn't know anything about it.
00:02:20.020 And so I was like, well, what is it, you know?
00:02:22.800 Mm-hmm.
00:02:23.240 So what is it?
00:02:25.700 Okay.
00:02:26.900 Well, yeah, I started breathwork sort of at the beginning of the pandemic.
00:02:30.720 Uh, I just love, I love learning.
00:02:33.740 I'm like a really curious person.
00:02:35.440 And I took a few classes and sort of my mind was blown.
00:02:40.020 Uh, and then later on I, I took a course, a certification course just because I wanted
00:02:45.880 to learn more about it.
00:02:47.380 I never, ever thought I would teach it or use it or anything.
00:02:50.160 Um, but basically it's like holotropic breathing and, um.
00:02:56.200 Holotropic? 0.82
00:02:56.820 Yeah.
00:02:57.480 And it's like a two.
00:02:58.400 Can you move this, you move your mic down just a little bit so it's not in front of your
00:03:00.380 face.
00:03:00.800 Yeah.
00:03:01.180 Oh, okay.
00:03:01.720 Is that better?
00:03:02.340 Can you see or is that okay?
00:03:03.480 Okay.
00:03:04.060 Uh, and it's like a two part, it's a two part technique as you know, through the mouth
00:03:09.300 and, uh, you breathe deeply into the belly and then a chest breath on top and then,
00:03:15.400 um, you know, uh, easy exhale.
00:03:17.720 Okay, so I go, so it's inhale through the mouth.
00:03:22.060 Yeah, all through the mouth.
00:03:23.360 Nothing through the nose.
00:03:24.300 Okay.
00:03:25.520 So stomach and then chest, then exhale.
00:03:30.020 Yeah.
00:03:30.520 Yeah.
00:03:31.120 And then you just try to keep a rhythm through the whole thing and it just, um, you know,
00:03:36.580 it alkalizes your blood in a different way, uh, than you're used to and all sorts of crazy
00:03:44.540 shit happens. 0.74
00:03:45.340 So do you know what happens? 1.00
00:03:47.200 Because the first time that we did it, you and I did it yesterday.
00:03:50.340 We've done three sessions now.
00:03:51.920 And, um, and thank you for that.
00:03:53.900 It's been really interesting.
00:03:55.620 Yeah, dog.
00:03:56.400 Uh, the yesterday.
00:03:58.980 Yeah.
00:03:59.240 My hands, everything gets real hard.
00:04:01.580 Right.
00:04:01.820 You know, like I can't even like move my hands.
00:04:04.820 It almost feels like, um, um, like if you see a dead body or something, you know?
00:04:10.680 They call it lobster claws.
00:04:12.060 It's tetany.
00:04:12.920 And it's just because, you know, there's a different amount of CO2 in your blood than usual.
00:04:19.620 It's called tetany?
00:04:20.660 Yeah.
00:04:21.140 Can you pull that up?
00:04:21.780 From your usual, uh, breathing.
00:04:25.180 Okay.
00:04:25.600 Yeah.
00:04:25.800 So it's a big difference in how much CO2 is in your body than your regular state of breathing.
00:04:30.440 And so your hands go like that, but it's not, nothing is wrong with that.
00:04:34.740 There's nothing that's going to happen.
00:04:36.760 And is it poisonous?
00:04:37.520 Because we used to sleep at my buddy Jeff's house and they had a, uh, CO2 leak, I guess,
00:04:43.280 in his house or something.
00:04:44.300 And we would sleep for like literally 36 hours every day.
00:04:47.800 That's really, I'm glad you're still alive.
00:04:50.020 Yeah.
00:04:50.340 Um.
00:04:50.880 Yeah, yeah, definitely.
00:04:51.960 He's alive also.
00:04:53.960 That's really good.
00:04:55.420 But is that, that's, is that CO2?
00:04:58.140 Is that?
00:04:59.540 No, that's, I mean, that's an external CO2 gas.
00:05:03.800 Okay.
00:05:04.260 This is just produced within your body.
00:05:06.380 So you're safe.
00:05:07.880 But you know, like if it is, it is sometimes a sign that you're going too hard, like you're
00:05:13.260 being too forceful, especially on the exhale, like.
00:05:17.060 If you get too much of the tetany in you?
00:05:18.720 Yeah, yeah.
00:05:19.720 Okay.
00:05:19.980 So let's bring it up.
00:05:20.660 I just want to be able to see what it is.
00:05:22.300 Just so I'm, there you go.
00:05:24.840 If you have experienced cosmic breath work, you may have experienced tetany.
00:05:28.180 Tetany is characterized by cramping, tightening, tingling, paralyzing, or numbing sensations
00:05:34.320 of the hands and or feet and even the face.
00:05:36.900 Oh, wow.
00:05:37.660 So yeah, I do remember now my face got, and my neck started to feel a little bit like
00:05:41.500 hard and tight.
00:05:42.440 Yeah.
00:05:42.840 If this does occur during cosmic breath work, note that it is very common and should not
00:05:46.900 be feared.
00:05:47.520 But what's happening?
00:05:48.600 What's causing it? 0.95
00:05:49.480 It's just like a dramatic increase of CO2 into your butt, but I don't mind it.
00:05:55.200 Like when I'm doing breath work, I just know, I kind of like it cause I know it's working.
00:05:59.340 It's sort of like when you're at the gym and you know.
00:06:03.220 You feel like Botox, like a little.
00:06:05.240 Yeah.
00:06:05.700 I mean, what I just, what I love about it is I just didn't even know that your body could
00:06:10.660 feel these ways or that you could get to this stage just from breathing.
00:06:15.280 Right.
00:06:15.580 Like I feel high after, like, I don't know, well, I don't know how many drugs you've done,
00:06:21.600 but like it feels high.
00:06:23.720 Like it's really good.
00:06:25.420 Yeah.
00:06:25.800 I've done it.
00:06:26.360 I've done it almost.
00:06:27.220 I haven't done crack.
00:06:28.060 I've never, I have never done crack.
00:06:30.480 I always, honestly, I always wanted to smoke crack, but.
00:06:33.300 I've never wanted to, but who knows?
00:06:35.360 But I've never smoked crack before, but some of my buddy said, but I've never gotten into
00:06:40.620 it, you know?
00:06:41.960 That's cool.
00:06:42.860 But anyway, yeah.
00:06:43.460 So, so yeah.
00:06:44.040 Cause I, I didn't realize that.
00:06:45.480 So you're, but yeah, I did feel after yesterday, I felt really high.
00:06:48.800 I just felt really like, I don't know what I felt like.
00:06:54.160 I definitely felt altered, like an, in an altered state.
00:06:56.780 Yeah.
00:06:57.180 And the first time I did it, I mean, I just like it, I don't know what happened.
00:07:02.780 That was different the first time, but it literally, like I was at the end, like balling,
00:07:07.180 like, just like there was such a release of like, um, I don't know.
00:07:11.860 What is that?
00:07:12.400 What happens?
00:07:13.500 Well, Colin and I were talking about it before and he was saying he cries every time.
00:07:18.720 And it's like, you can go into a session feeling great and then it'll unlock something just
00:07:25.800 like the energy, whatever, you know, hurt or, uh, pain is in your body that you're not
00:07:32.120 even aware of your conscious mind.
00:07:34.480 Um, so I cry a lot of times when I do it and it's just like, every time I'm so surprised.
00:07:40.660 Um, it's crazy.
00:07:42.180 Yeah.
00:07:42.680 I remember the first time I did it.
00:07:44.040 I, yeah, I was like, and then I had to go to breakfast after with somebody.
00:07:47.720 And so I was like, and I kept moving the breakfast back like 15 minutes.
00:07:51.020 I'm literally sitting in my hotel room.
00:07:52.580 And like, and I just like, I just couldn't help but it's had all of these feelings and
00:07:57.180 everything was so like raw.
00:07:59.160 It just felt like it's like raw meat.
00:08:01.160 Totally.
00:08:01.680 You know?
00:08:02.000 Yeah.
00:08:02.340 And then I had to go on Jocko Willink, who's like a Navy SEAL guy to do his podcast that day.
00:08:07.180 And I walk in there like the complete opposite of a Navy SEAL.
00:08:12.000 Like I was like, I was, oh, it was very, it was a tough day to be in front of like the
00:08:18.880 toughest guys.
00:08:19.840 I think I told you that though.
00:08:21.300 Like expect to be really raw after.
00:08:23.700 I mean, sometimes the sessions aren't that deep.
00:08:26.020 Like I'll have one and I'll, I'll be like really wanting to have some deep like excavating
00:08:32.260 experience. 0.97
00:08:32.880 And it's just not that, but then sometimes it really fucking hits you. 0.96
00:08:37.460 Yeah. 0.96
00:08:38.020 It blew my mind.
00:08:38.960 I didn't know that something like that could happen.
00:08:40.960 I didn't know.
00:08:42.900 It just shocked me.
00:08:44.060 I didn't know that, that, that much of you could have that much of a release.
00:08:48.860 Yeah.
00:08:49.060 I didn't know it either.
00:08:50.320 I was stunned.
00:08:51.640 What, uh, what led you to even want to learn about it?
00:08:54.960 Uh, well, one, I'm just a really curious person.
00:08:58.940 I love trying new things, especially, uh, you know, with my body or spirituality or, you
00:09:07.960 know, healing or wellness.
00:09:10.160 Um, as I get older, I take a lot better care of myself, especially with comedy and traveling
00:09:15.220 so much and everything.
00:09:17.540 Um, but yeah, I started reading a book.
00:09:20.280 Uh, it's a famous one called the body keeps score.
00:09:22.900 And it's basically the premise is about how trauma is stored in our bodies.
00:09:27.920 And so when I kept getting recommended breath work, because you bypass your conscious mind,
00:09:34.460 like I've been in talk therapy forever.
00:09:36.680 Yeah.
00:09:36.880 So it's, it's not good a lot of times.
00:09:38.600 Well, it's just like you're, a lot of times you're not getting like, you can talk about
00:09:42.340 things without feeling anything.
00:09:45.200 Oh, interesting.
00:09:46.380 Yeah.
00:09:46.900 And the feeling part is what makes you able to pass through something.
00:09:51.820 I agree.
00:09:52.920 I need to have the feelings about things.
00:09:54.320 So it's like when someone's giving me information that never helps me.
00:09:57.440 It's like my therapist where I work best with therapists that are able to like trick me
00:10:01.100 into having a moment where I have a feeling and then it's like, oh, yeah.
00:10:04.640 And then you can move through it.
00:10:06.020 Right.
00:10:06.440 Yeah.
00:10:07.220 We don't even realize how much we avoid feeling feelings.
00:10:10.880 And so like, I think that's another part of breath work. 0.99
00:10:13.880 It's like, we're always on our fucking phones. 1.00
00:10:15.500 We're always doing shit. 1.00
00:10:16.580 Like, especially now. 0.99
00:10:17.560 Yeah.
00:10:17.960 Or feelings like Sasquatches now.
00:10:20.560 Yeah.
00:10:20.720 It's crazy.
00:10:21.820 It's like, wow, I think I had a feeling.
00:10:23.520 What do you see?
00:10:23.980 Any pictures of it?
00:10:24.860 Right.
00:10:25.220 And it's just in the distance like that.
00:10:27.540 I think also there's like an element of panic around it because we do so little of it.
00:10:33.700 Right.
00:10:33.880 A lot of times.
00:10:34.940 Yeah.
00:10:35.120 It's crazy how quickly we're getting away from like the things that are very human.
00:10:39.080 Yeah.
00:10:39.440 And then how almost alarmed we are when they come up.
00:10:42.480 Yeah.
00:10:42.800 And then how we create so many medicines and everything to like keep them at bay.
00:10:48.940 Right.
00:10:49.340 Like whether it's like antidepressants or even like all the women are on like that little 1.00
00:10:56.640 birth control nugget or whatever nowadays.
00:10:59.220 You know, so it's like everybody, you know, it's like, uh, so it's anything that has like,
00:11:04.400 it's a natural thing.
00:11:05.640 We have like, oh, we gotta, I'm really aware of it now, like that I've gotten into mindfulness
00:11:11.460 and I meditate a lot.
00:11:12.920 I'm really into meditation and, um, I will be like, oh, I'm reaching for my phone sometimes.
00:11:19.020 And it's not because I actually intentionally want to go on my phone.
00:11:23.800 It's just habit and avoidance and like not wanting to sit and be present or silent or
00:11:30.340 bored, you know?
00:11:32.180 Yeah.
00:11:32.680 It's gotten so addictive.
00:11:33.920 Um, I noticed it too.
00:11:35.300 I just started really getting into meditation pretty good.
00:11:37.320 I think about the past three weeks I've been doing really well with it.
00:11:39.880 Oh, that's great.
00:11:40.320 And I noticed like a little moment.
00:11:42.600 There's like, it's like a, a millisecond between me doing something and me real realizing
00:11:49.960 that I'm doing something.
00:11:50.920 It's just like, there's a little bit of realization in there.
00:11:53.180 Right.
00:11:53.580 Like, oh, like, why are you like, what are you doing right now?
00:11:56.280 Right.
00:11:56.840 And it's just, God, it's almost such a relief because for so long I've just been doing and
00:12:03.020 almost don't even like just reactive.
00:12:04.980 Everything feels so reactive.
00:12:06.400 Yeah.
00:12:06.820 It's, it's so much doing instead of just being.
00:12:09.860 Yeah. 0.92
00:12:10.420 Well, it sounds fucking trite, but it's true. 0.96
00:12:13.480 Yeah. 0.97
00:12:14.160 Um, so where do you start comedy?
00:12:15.960 You started in?
00:12:17.820 I started in New York.
00:12:18.720 Oh, you did?
00:12:19.380 Yeah.
00:12:19.500 So you're a New York City person?
00:12:20.920 Yeah.
00:12:21.360 Okay.
00:12:21.720 Well, I'm from Orange County, California. 0.99
00:12:24.240 Oh, damn. 1.00
00:12:25.380 Y'all pretty rich. 1.00
00:12:27.400 Um, I hope to be more rich.
00:12:30.380 Were your folks pretty well off?
00:12:31.620 Um, they did well.
00:12:32.940 Yeah.
00:12:33.560 Yeah.
00:12:33.900 What kind of jobs did they have?
00:12:35.420 Um, my dad is in real estate.
00:12:38.100 Oh, nice.
00:12:39.160 Yeah.
00:12:39.500 And my mom, uh, took care of us.
00:12:42.260 Yeah?
00:12:42.700 Yeah.
00:12:43.060 Were they, oh, she got to be a stay-at-home mom?
00:12:44.920 Yeah.
00:12:45.320 Oh, that's cool.
00:12:47.120 Yeah.
00:12:47.680 That's pretty cool.
00:12:48.580 Were they like an orange, like was the, like, because sometimes you think about those,
00:12:51.580 oh, the Orange County couple, you know, or like the, people get fancy down there kind
00:12:56.120 of, you know, it's just like some of the areas, you know, Newport and stuff, it gets
00:12:59.000 kind of fancy.
00:13:00.240 Um, my, my parents, like, my parents didn't grow up with money.
00:13:03.640 They're, they work really hard.
00:13:06.000 They're really hard workers.
00:13:07.520 Uh, but yeah, it could be like that.
00:13:09.120 It's a strange place.
00:13:10.040 I didn't quite understand until I moved away what it really, I mean, I just grew up surfing
00:13:15.400 and playing volleyball.
00:13:16.660 That was like really my life.
00:13:18.780 Yeah.
00:13:19.260 Yeah.
00:13:19.980 Um, and so at what point did you kind of think about comedy or like what kind of led you
00:13:25.000 to maybe, did you know when you were younger that you had that ability?
00:13:29.020 Like what, where does it come from for you?
00:13:31.480 Yeah.
00:13:31.740 Well, I'm the youngest and only girl.
00:13:34.080 I have older brothers and they had like a million friends and I, my family is like hyper
00:13:40.240 masculine.
00:13:40.860 Like just the way I grew up was like hunting, fishing, like sports.
00:13:46.100 And so that was like sort of my currency to just be a really good athlete and funny to
00:13:52.880 have any value in the family.
00:13:55.620 Right.
00:13:56.140 Yeah.
00:13:56.500 Yeah.
00:13:56.940 Yeah.
00:13:56.960 Sometimes you create funny cause it's like, Oh, I need to have some sort of value.
00:14:00.540 Yeah.
00:14:00.920 To even be allowed to share air with my older brothers.
00:14:05.900 Wow.
00:14:06.480 Yeah. 0.95
00:14:06.900 And you know, they were so fucking cool and surfing and skating and like, uh, great athletes 0.87
00:14:13.500 and yeah. 0.87
00:14:14.500 And they tall too?
00:14:15.920 Yeah.
00:14:16.400 Oh, my parents are like these Adonis people too. 0.65
00:14:22.600 They're like very hot, incredible shape.
00:14:25.900 Yeah.
00:14:26.300 It was like a nightmare to even be like a little ugly at any point in my life.
00:14:32.240 Yeah. 0.99
00:14:32.680 They have fucking abs now. 1.00
00:14:34.380 Oh my. 1.00
00:14:35.000 Now.
00:14:35.580 And they're in their sixties.
00:14:36.140 Wow.
00:14:36.680 Yeah.
00:14:36.800 I mean, it's that level.
00:14:38.680 That's wild.
00:14:39.660 Yeah.
00:14:39.920 And did y'all live in like Newport or something around there?
00:14:41.700 No, we didn't live in Newport.
00:14:43.200 We lived in, um, San Juan Capistrano area.
00:14:45.740 Oh yeah.
00:14:46.000 That's pretty.
00:14:46.480 Some of us, the train goes by there.
00:14:48.120 Yeah.
00:14:48.660 Yeah.
00:14:48.800 And it looks really nice.
00:14:49.620 Or by San Clemente, is that right?
00:14:51.580 Yeah.
00:14:51.840 Yeah.
00:14:52.100 Some of them, I see the train when it goes by there.
00:14:53.840 It's like, I always want to get off right there.
00:14:55.920 It just seemed like a nice little, like kind of romantic spot or something.
00:14:59.400 It is.
00:14:59.780 It's beautiful.
00:15:01.300 Um, so then, so you, you go to school down there.
00:15:04.380 And then when did you start doing standup?
00:15:07.320 Uh, so I started in my mid, I, well, I went to, uh, New York for grad school to be a novelist.
00:15:16.440 Oh, really?
00:15:17.120 I didn't ever know that I was going to start comedy.
00:15:19.540 There was no intention.
00:15:20.800 I had, I didn't see my first comedy show until I was 25.
00:15:25.080 Uh, I had never been exposed to comedy.
00:15:28.800 Orange County is not like a cultural hotbed in any way.
00:15:33.920 That's just like, wasn't in my sphere.
00:15:37.040 Um, and I started dating a dude right before I left for New York.
00:15:41.960 White guy? 0.84
00:15:43.940 Yes.
00:15:44.860 Why?
00:15:46.160 Oh, I don't know.
00:15:46.780 Trying to get some idea of who the guy is.
00:15:48.540 You know, I just don't want to.
00:15:49.640 I bet you're briefly, you're probably, uh, aware of who he is, but, um.
00:15:55.060 Oh, okay.
00:15:55.560 So be a comedian guy.
00:15:56.880 Yeah.
00:15:57.300 Oh, she started dating a comedian and he got you into it.
00:15:59.480 But he wasn't really a comedian yet.
00:16:01.040 He had just like started open mics, but he basically like introduced me to comedy.
00:16:06.160 And then I moved to New York.
00:16:07.200 We broke up and, um, I was interviewing comedians cause I was a writer.
00:16:12.060 And just like one day, like six months later, I was interviewing Michael Che.
00:16:16.960 I was his first inner piece of press ever.
00:16:19.480 And like, I was asking these questions that in hindsight were someone who wanted to start,
00:16:26.000 but my brain hadn't told me that.
00:16:27.680 Oh, you didn't realize that.
00:16:28.700 Yeah.
00:16:29.000 And then like a couple of days later in the shower, I had the thought and then I just started.
00:16:33.260 And you just started where?
00:16:34.060 Did you take a class?
00:16:34.860 Did you go to a, um.
00:16:36.500 I took a class, which they don't teach you anything.
00:16:39.160 It's basically the only benefit is that no one else in there has done it. 1.00
00:16:42.920 And so you're not afraid of looking fucking dumb. 0.99
00:16:45.460 And you're doing it. 1.00
00:16:46.300 You're going to a place each week and doing it.
00:16:50.440 So there's a lot of value in that.
00:16:52.060 And at the graduation of the class, did you, was it one where you guys got up on stage at
00:16:55.500 the end?
00:16:55.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:56.420 It was at Gotham.
00:16:58.140 And it just sort of was like an immediate thing.
00:17:00.640 And I was like, oh, this is it.
00:17:02.620 I still finished my master's degree because I didn't know it was going to end up being my
00:17:07.020 career.
00:17:07.940 Just like lit money on fire.
00:17:10.320 But, um.
00:17:11.200 And you were living in New York City?
00:17:12.500 Yeah.
00:17:13.200 Wow.
00:17:13.680 Yeah.
00:17:14.280 And were you partying pretty hard?
00:17:15.420 What's the part?
00:17:15.840 I mean, it must have been pretty sick, right?
00:17:17.480 Yeah, it was.
00:17:18.340 It was really cool.
00:17:19.400 And just like at that point, you know, in New York, it's such a good place to start.
00:17:24.380 Everyone says it's not because you want to start in like a small market.
00:17:28.720 But there was so much stage time.
00:17:30.700 Like all my friends, we would just be like drinking, going to a bunch of mics. 0.97
00:17:33.820 And it was really fucking fun. 0.92
00:17:36.420 And did you feel like it was male dominated? 0.96
00:17:38.920 Did you feel like it was like, what do you think about that kind of stuff when people,
00:17:43.300 because there's a lot of, some women I think use that as like a, or some people use like 1.00
00:17:48.080 their, whatever their thing that's different about them as like a, we, we're not, there's
00:17:53.040 not enough of us represented.
00:17:54.320 Does it feel like a male dominated business to you?
00:17:56.380 I mean, it is a male dominated business, but that just never really crossed my mind because
00:18:01.160 I felt right at home given the way I grew up.
00:18:04.140 And I never felt intimidated.
00:18:05.920 Right, you grew up in a male dominated business.
00:18:07.160 Oh my God.
00:18:07.840 Yeah.
00:18:08.220 I was like, I'm thriving right now.
00:18:10.580 Like I never, I was not intimidated by any, I was like, oh, like I'm going to be afraid 1.00
00:18:16.740 of this fucking dork. 0.99
00:18:17.760 Right. 1.00
00:18:18.080 I was like, they were a virgin until they were 22. 0.99
00:18:22.140 I don't fucking care, you know? 0.99
00:18:24.620 But I love them. 0.98
00:18:25.640 Yeah.
00:18:25.860 I loved it.
00:18:26.400 I love the whole thing.
00:18:27.560 And like, I loved being around so many different types of people that I was not around growing
00:18:33.240 up.
00:18:33.660 Yeah.
00:18:34.380 Yeah.
00:18:35.000 Oh yeah.
00:18:35.500 I bet.
00:18:35.820 Yeah.
00:18:36.040 You know, in New York, you get in any of the big cities, you get like all types.
00:18:40.100 Yeah.
00:18:40.540 Yeah.
00:18:40.740 Cause I really started out here kind of in Los Angeles.
00:18:42.780 So.
00:18:43.360 Oh, you did.
00:18:44.080 Yeah.
00:18:44.280 So I think I can relate to that.
00:18:45.640 Like just, there's so many different types of people come passing through and like, you
00:18:49.860 see so many people that start out, they start and then they get into something else or it's
00:18:53.560 like, you see so many people's little career paths kind of deter here and there.
00:18:57.060 You know, my hair is falling out.
00:18:59.400 I swear.
00:18:59.940 I saw some of it the other day. 0.98
00:19:01.020 I saw a damn, a bunch of it on the sink and it formed a little eyebrow and took off 0.98
00:19:05.960 left for somewhere. 0.99
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00:21:34.980 Was there a time where you kind of knew that you really felt like, okay, this is kind of
00:21:39.560 fitting in my life?
00:21:40.580 Or was there a time in the beginning where you were like, this is not really working for
00:21:46.440 me?
00:21:47.400 No, I just sort of clicked right away.
00:21:49.780 And then, like, I got cast on an MTV show, like, almost less than two years in.
00:21:59.260 And, um...
00:21:59.800 Was it the one that Jess Mae Peluso did, that show?
00:22:01.820 It was a spinoff of Girl Code.
00:22:04.360 It was under the Girl Code banner, but it was a prank show.
00:22:07.360 Nice.
00:22:07.860 Yeah, and that sort of just started things.
00:22:10.340 And, um, yeah.
00:22:12.540 And so that's...
00:22:13.280 And so then you've just been doing it since then.
00:22:14.740 Yeah.
00:22:15.080 Do you feel like...
00:22:15.920 I know we talked...
00:22:16.520 You mentioned, or I mentioned, I think about it's male-dominated.
00:22:18.920 Does it feel like a...
00:22:19.980 Why do you think comedy is male-dominated, or does it feel male-dominated?
00:22:24.760 Well, I think the act of comedy itself is an extremely masculine thing. 0.75
00:22:30.020 You're walking on stage, and you're like, yeah, what I have to say is important, and
00:22:35.240 you guys will respond to it.
00:22:37.140 Like, the whole thing is extremely masculine in itself.
00:22:42.200 Yeah, it's almost like a combat.
00:22:43.720 You're almost going to a war in a way.
00:22:47.060 Yeah.
00:22:47.340 It feels like.
00:22:48.360 Like, um, in combat was, stereotypically, has always been a male thing.
00:22:54.040 Right.
00:22:54.440 Kind of, you know.
00:22:55.600 Yeah.
00:22:55.980 It's changing.
00:22:57.320 Yeah.
00:22:57.580 You know, but I think, like, if you look at, like, kind of like the arch types or whatever,
00:23:02.480 then it's usually a man out there, you know.
00:23:04.700 Yeah, and I think also the population in the country really, I mean, it's also changing
00:23:13.300 in this way because of podcasting and online specials and social media and all this stuff,
00:23:19.040 but, like, before I started comedy, I was maybe aware of five comedians.
00:23:23.380 Yeah.
00:23:23.680 And they're only the top five biggest, like, you're not really aware of the comedy landscape.
00:23:30.880 Right.
00:23:31.060 And so I don't think people really have been exposed to that many female comedians.
00:23:37.060 And I don't like to think about it because I don't want to have that perspective.
00:23:42.180 I don't think it's helpful for me to be like, no, no, it's gonna, you know, whatever. 0.99
00:23:47.360 I'm a pussy. 0.98
00:23:48.440 But, um, I do notice it sometimes, like, online where you'll see, like, YouTube comments or 0.99
00:23:55.380 something and you're like, oh, the rest of the country only thinks men are funny just
00:24:00.340 naturally.
00:24:00.880 It's just, like, a misogynist thing.
00:24:03.880 Yeah. 0.99
00:24:04.280 But also, who gives a fuck about them? 0.97
00:24:06.000 You have your own audience, whatever. 0.93
00:24:08.120 Yeah, I think, I mean, well, finding your own audience is key.
00:24:10.040 I mean, I think different places, I, I think, and I don't even know if it's the rest of the
00:24:15.740 country thing.
00:24:16.420 I don't know.
00:24:16.860 It's like, it always seems like, here's what I think sometimes is when I think about male
00:24:24.100 and female comedians. 0.85
00:24:25.660 I always, men, it always seems like they are, and maybe this is just because I've seen this 0.99
00:24:32.840 in television and film over the years, but they're like the goofball. 1.00
00:24:35.760 They're the, the fuck, you know, they're the bat bumbling, you know? 1.00
00:24:42.380 Yeah, I know what you mean. 1.00
00:24:43.200 And so, you don't mind if something happens to the bumbling guy.
00:24:47.980 Yeah.
00:24:48.440 You don't mind if that guy steps in a fire, slips on a banana peel.
00:24:52.860 For me, the thing that always, and this was the same thing about you watching UFC women.
00:24:57.580 I didn't like it at first.
00:24:59.480 I didn't like it because it felt like, I didn't think, oh, these people shouldn't be
00:25:03.860 able to do this.
00:25:05.000 Right.
00:25:05.460 I think anybody should do whatever they want.
00:25:07.660 It just was, like, I always thought of women as, like, mom.
00:25:10.900 Yeah, exactly.
00:25:11.400 And, like, a sister.
00:25:12.640 Right.
00:25:12.960 So, when you think about, oh, man, my sister, you know, it's a male instinct versus your sister's
00:25:17.580 getting in a fight.
00:25:18.740 Yeah.
00:25:18.840 That you help, or, like, and then comedy, I always felt like, was such an uncomfort, I think,
00:25:24.160 also, so it was like, man, this is so uncomfortable.
00:25:27.220 You don't, a woman doesn't need to go through this. 1.00
00:25:30.120 That's what my dad said to me when I first started.
00:25:31.880 Like, if I see a woman walking on stage, I should put my coat down over, like, you know, 1.00
00:25:35.800 so that she doesn't have to step in the stage, you know, or step in the, so I think there's
00:25:41.120 a lot of that.
00:25:42.000 I don't know if it's that, for me, it was never that women shouldn't do this, but I
00:25:48.160 did always, I think, and it wasn't a choice I made.
00:25:51.340 No, it's an unconscious bias, like, for you, you're saying it's, like, a certain fragility
00:25:56.700 that you're worried about that.
00:25:59.420 Yeah, it just felt like, why do, like, why do women have to do, why do they need to endure 1.00
00:26:05.560 this?
00:26:06.680 That's literally what my dad said to me, like, when I first started, he's like, you're one
00:26:12.400 of the smartest people I've ever met. 1.00
00:26:13.800 Why are you choosing to put your life in a basement with drunks and fuck-ups? 0.99
00:26:19.760 And I was like, fair, fair point, you know, but also, it's just like, it is what it is. 0.99
00:26:25.980 It's like, like, my, I think what you're saying is totally real, like, because I feel that way
00:26:30.700 that I'm received that way in Orange County, because they cannot fathom that a woman would
00:26:35.960 not, my own focus and priority would not be to be married with three kids right now.
00:26:42.400 And, like, my family's never seen me, my brothers have, but my parents have never seen me do
00:26:47.080 comedy before.
00:26:48.860 Wow.
00:26:49.300 Or any of my TV stuff, either.
00:26:51.680 Well, here's something also that happens.
00:26:53.260 A lot of women start doing comedy, right? 1.00
00:26:55.880 And I'm probably going to receive hell for this, because it's a very, it's a generalization.
00:26:59.880 Here's something that I sometimes feel could be realistic, and I don't know.
00:27:04.400 Here we go.
00:27:05.120 Um, and they, and then the first thing they do is beat this woman drum, instead of beating 0.99
00:27:13.020 the comedy drum, you know?
00:27:14.740 It's like, um...
00:27:17.120 You mean offstage?
00:27:18.920 Yeah, kind of.
00:27:19.840 It's like, I'm a female, like, somebody will be doing it a month, and they're big, and they're
00:27:23.560 just like, I, you just start getting into, like, this, I'm a, and I think maybe it was
00:27:28.360 like, kind of a fad that happened for a while.
00:27:30.380 It was like, um, and maybe women needed to, maybe they need to do that to make sure that 1.00
00:27:36.000 they're seen in, like, a, in, like, a male-dominated environment, you know?
00:27:40.180 But I feel like sometimes, uh, people will lean so much on any, whatever it is that makes
00:27:46.200 them, like, oh, I'm Southern, or I'm a woman, or I was on fire, you know?
00:27:51.300 You see some guy, and he's got skin grafts.
00:27:53.160 He's like, I was on fire, you know?
00:27:54.540 That's his big thing, and he's like, you know, fire shows, you know?
00:27:57.900 We're doing, everybody who's been on fire ever, you gotta be on, you know, you're on
00:28:00.960 the fire lineup only, you know?
00:28:03.340 Victim, you know, like, somebody, you know, neck brace line, you know, it's neck brace 0.94
00:28:06.500 night at the fucking, um, and I don't think it's a bad, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, 0.92
00:28:12.600 I don't know what I'm saying exactly. 0.95
00:28:14.300 I guess I'm saying some people attach themselves so much to something that they forget that
00:28:22.100 what they're doing is, that we still have to do the thing.
00:28:24.820 Yeah, I mean, I feel two ways about that.
00:28:27.120 I'm not saying that about you.
00:28:28.120 No, I don't think you have, you've never even seen me do comedy.
00:28:30.960 Yeah.
00:28:32.380 I wonder if that's true or not.
00:28:34.140 I don't think so. 0.98
00:28:35.160 Uh, but, yeah, I, I want to be aware of shit, and sometimes I can feel things. 0.95
00:28:44.340 Like, a lot of times, when I'm in a green room, I mean, less now that I'm, like, more 0.90
00:28:49.340 known, but, like, immediately when you walk in a green room, if it's, like, an older comic
00:28:54.620 or a famous comic, they think that you're the girlfriend of another dude.
00:28:58.340 And it's just, like, but, like, that's not something I'm going to get upset about, but
00:29:02.000 I can feel it immediately when I walk in.
00:29:04.360 Right.
00:29:04.760 Or, um, when I'm on stage, like, you know, comedy, though, is a meritocracy.
00:29:10.260 Like, it's an instantaneous reaction.
00:29:12.640 If you're not good, it's very apparent, you know?
00:29:16.380 And, like...
00:29:17.040 Yeah, I think so.
00:29:17.900 But then the industry also started to adjust where they're just picking people because
00:29:21.220 of things.
00:29:22.020 And that, I think, has certainly loosened up, I think, some of the meritocracy of it.
00:29:26.620 Yeah, that is, uh, true, like, it's much more diverse in, in TV and everything, in movies
00:29:33.780 and opportunities and stuff.
00:29:35.360 Um, and I think that's a good thing.
00:29:38.440 I, I don't think people should, you know, necessarily get something, uh, for, without
00:29:45.500 handing value.
00:29:47.520 But I like the diverse perspective.
00:29:49.720 But, yeah, I don't know.
00:29:52.520 Yeah, I think it's good because I do think it's good in the sense that it helps, like,
00:29:56.100 um, it does help diversify things some, you know?
00:30:01.440 It's, like, it helps, like, uh, plant seeds in people who maybe they also need inspiration
00:30:06.660 when they're young in their career.
00:30:07.840 Or it's, like, maybe a face you wouldn't normally get to see because things are so, if things
00:30:12.020 are so often the same way, you know?
00:30:14.300 Um, it gives different people opportunities.
00:30:16.340 I think it's less, less, uh, stand-up is less driven by that than, you know, say, television.
00:30:25.220 Right, just Hollywood in general.
00:30:26.460 Yeah, like, you see, I don't see these lineups or whatever, and I'm like, that wasn't the,
00:30:30.900 um, designing factor.
00:30:33.140 Yeah.
00:30:33.780 Yeah.
00:30:34.120 Um, yeah, it's interesting.
00:30:39.060 It's interesting because I wonder, yeah, why do I sometimes feel like, or what are some
00:30:43.360 of the things that make me feel like it's a man sport?
00:30:46.380 Or that it makes, I think, yeah, I think those are the things for me about that.
00:30:50.180 It's, like, there's some fragility to it that you don't want, uh, it's like a...
00:30:54.620 I mean, I don't know you well, but you seem like the area of comedy that you roll in is
00:31:02.640 hyper-masculine in the people that you're friends with.
00:31:07.100 Yeah.
00:31:08.520 I guess so.
00:31:09.400 Yeah, I mean, I have some female comedian friends, you know?
00:31:11.720 Oh, yeah.
00:31:12.180 Um, but I guess, yeah, I mean, I guess more of my comedian friends are probably men, probably.
00:31:18.740 Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.
00:31:20.220 Yeah.
00:31:20.580 Are more yours women, you think? 1.00
00:31:22.780 Uh, no.
00:31:24.000 I have, like, a mix.
00:31:25.040 I mean, I always say, like, I don't really like being a woman.
00:31:29.880 The best part about being a woman is female friendship. 1.00
00:31:34.320 Like, my girlfriends in comedy are, it's just, like, the best thing in the world.
00:31:39.800 Because we're not really, like, it's such a, uh, it's such a distinct, uh, way of life
00:31:46.820 that many people don't understand.
00:31:48.340 And especially, like, growing older as a woman, uh, people can't really understand, like, 0.99
00:31:54.540 why you would want to do it.
00:31:55.840 So it's like you're really understanding each other in a way that other people don't.
00:31:59.420 Right.
00:31:59.660 But, um, no, I love all my guy friends and, yeah.
00:32:03.960 Yeah, it's interesting.
00:32:04.820 It's so, and there's also so few people that do it.
00:32:07.600 Yeah.
00:32:08.620 Um, there's, when you think about it, like, even when you said, like, there's, you know,
00:32:12.940 you know, like, five comedies, until you get into comedy, and then you realize so many
00:32:16.340 people have, know nothing about comedy.
00:32:18.360 Totally.
00:32:18.940 You're, like, in the world, so you know what you start to like.
00:32:21.660 But then there's so many people that have no idea about.
00:32:24.820 Like, they couldn't, like, Chris Rock, they would just name Chris Rock.
00:32:28.040 Like, Eddie Murphy, you know.
00:32:29.680 Dave Chappelle.
00:32:30.040 Dave Chappelle.
00:32:30.420 Yeah, they wouldn't know Robin.
00:32:31.840 Right.
00:32:32.620 Yeah.
00:32:32.860 You know.
00:32:33.500 They have one point of reference, like, a lot of my girlfriends, uh, and I joke about it,
00:32:39.000 but, like, so many people will be, like, and they'll be trying to, like, 0.96
00:32:42.940 they're trying to compliment you, but it's fucking rude. 0.95
00:32:45.220 They'll be, like, you're, like, a more funny Amy Schumer, or, like, a less funny Amy Schumer. 0.97
00:32:50.040 Whatever it is, they're just comparing you.
00:32:51.940 And it's, like, you could just say good job.
00:32:53.680 Right. 1.00
00:32:55.400 Bitch. 1.00
00:32:56.200 Yeah, people don't know how. 1.00
00:32:57.140 I mean, I think some people also, they just don't know that much.
00:33:00.200 You know, like you're saying, if they're trying to give you a compliment.
00:33:02.040 Some people are bad at compliments.
00:33:03.640 Yeah.
00:33:04.400 It's always, like, backhanded or whatever.
00:33:06.300 But it's, the point is that they have one woman, and she has blonde hair. 0.69
00:33:10.300 Right.
00:33:10.500 And so they immediately, they're, like, I have to make that association,
00:33:13.740 and I have to tell it directly to this person.
00:33:15.720 Yeah.
00:33:16.240 Yeah.
00:33:16.700 Yeah, I wonder, what is it, what is that in people that makes them,
00:33:19.380 that makes us feel like we have to do that sometimes?
00:33:23.120 Um, I think it's just because you want to try to feel connected.
00:33:26.920 You want to try to share something.
00:33:29.060 You know?
00:33:29.880 It's interesting, because if an old person says it,
00:33:31.880 you'll give them less grief than you would if, like, a young person says it.
00:33:35.260 Yeah.
00:33:35.520 Um, that's how I try to think about, like, online comments, you know?
00:33:40.160 Like, if you see a crazy person yelling in the street, 1.00
00:33:43.520 where they're like, you're a fucking whore, you know what I mean? 1.00
00:33:46.160 And I'm like, I didn't take that in. 1.00
00:33:48.080 Yeah. 1.00
00:33:48.240 I was just like, that person's out of their fucking mind. 0.99
00:33:51.440 Right, but if you see it online. 0.99
00:33:52.760 Why?
00:33:53.540 But that's why I cheat them.
00:33:54.740 I'm like, oh, they're not well.
00:33:56.220 They're commenting on a person they don't know.
00:33:58.860 They've never met.
00:33:59.720 Who would do that, take the time in their day to do that?
00:34:02.500 Yeah.
00:34:03.200 Yeah.
00:34:03.960 Who did I see the other night?
00:34:05.020 Oh, Jessica Michelle Singleton is so funny.
00:34:07.240 Uh-huh.
00:34:07.620 Have you seen her perform before?
00:34:08.440 Yeah, I like Jessica.
00:34:09.660 Jesus Christ, dude.
00:34:10.840 It was one of the best sets I've seen in so long.
00:34:12.740 Oh, that's so nice.
00:34:13.740 Yeah.
00:34:13.920 She's so sweet, too.
00:34:14.800 She's such a good person.
00:34:15.880 It was, oh, it was so funny, man.
00:34:18.680 God.
00:34:18.840 That's great. 0.99
00:34:19.460 Yeah, it made me feel like, damn. 0.99
00:34:21.820 It was just really, really impressive. 0.98
00:34:24.020 Um, yeah, I wonder why else I've ever thought like that.
00:34:27.680 Maybe because also when I was growing up, they didn't have, like, I guess you had,
00:34:30.360 I'm trying to think of female comics that I saw growing up. 1.00
00:34:32.980 Joan Rivers.
00:34:34.280 Yep.
00:34:34.660 Joan Rivers, Paula Poundstone.
00:34:36.600 Yeah.
00:34:37.040 I remember.
00:34:38.060 Um, Roseanne, who I loved, who was like probably one of my favorites.
00:34:42.400 Uh, they've always had a good deal of female comedians, though. 1.00
00:34:47.060 I guess.
00:34:47.920 Like, back then there probably wasn't.
00:34:48.360 They didn't used to have that many comedians that people knew about.
00:34:50.640 Yeah.
00:34:51.280 Sarah Silverman.
00:34:52.600 Yeah.
00:34:53.260 Yeah.
00:34:53.520 I feel like Hollywood's always done a decent job of putting up probably a, like, pretty
00:34:59.540 diverse group, except when it gets outside of black, white, and female.
00:35:04.500 After those, I feel like it kind of fell off.
00:35:07.720 I mean.
00:35:07.960 Now it's different.
00:35:09.640 I think now things have been changing and going in a great direction, but, like, the
00:35:15.040 women before me, they always said, like, you know, they could be better than some dudes 1.00
00:35:21.520 in clubs, like, around the country wouldn't headline them because they said, like, people
00:35:25.380 wouldn't come, you know?
00:35:26.940 So it's, like, based on, like.
00:35:28.820 But then who's, is that anybody's fault, though, or is that just business?
00:35:33.160 Like, you can't. 0.99
00:35:33.500 It is business, but it's fucking dumb because it's not based on necessarily on talent. 0.99
00:35:38.540 Like, when you see, like, Laurie Kilmartin, when you watch Laurie Kilmartin, she's, like, 0.99
00:35:42.280 one of the best joke writers in the country.
00:35:43.900 Agreed.
00:35:44.000 And she just murders. 1.00
00:35:46.020 And to think of, like, a mediocre dude headlining over her is sad. 0.98
00:35:51.000 Right.
00:35:51.360 You know what I mean?
00:35:52.200 Right.
00:35:52.520 But I think a lot of that goes to, like, just business.
00:35:56.000 It's the same as, like, like, you could put a ton, you could lay, you could put a lineup
00:36:02.400 and diversify it all you want, right?
00:36:05.420 But in the end, if it doesn't sell, if people aren't buying tickets to go see it, like, if
00:36:09.160 the, if the people aren't buying tickets to go see it, then. 0.99
00:36:12.440 No, the market is dumb. 0.99
00:36:14.760 Right. 0.99
00:36:16.880 So, yeah.
00:36:17.700 Yeah.
00:36:17.980 In the end, it's like, yeah, it just has to be.
00:36:20.160 So, Maritocracy, it doesn't always figure out, I guess, then, does it?
00:36:23.080 No, Maritocracy is what I mean, is just on stage where you're like, okay, we'll see
00:36:28.960 who's good and who's not.
00:36:30.900 Oh, I've seen tons of people over the years that get opportunities because of, like, nepotism,
00:36:35.700 religion, you know, like, certain friendships, that kind of stuff just happens.
00:36:41.740 I think it happens in all walks of life, you know?
00:36:44.460 Yeah.
00:36:45.360 Yeah, it does.
00:36:46.480 Like, you see. 0.98
00:36:47.460 But that's also the thing that makes you keep fucking going. 0.95
00:36:50.040 Like, if it, if you showed up and just walked in and were like, hey, I'm here and I'm funny 0.99
00:36:55.360 and just because I'm black, female, was in a fire, you know, died and came back to life
00:37:02.000 or whatever.
00:37:02.440 I love how you keep saying, was in a fire, as if that was someone's thing.
00:37:06.580 Well, I'm just thinking different.
00:37:07.560 Oh, it certainly is, man.
00:37:08.800 They got all these shows.
00:37:09.680 It's like, I saw one, one show, it was like, uh.
00:37:13.560 I haven't been going to these shows.
00:37:14.900 You've been going to?
00:37:16.020 It's just some of the things I get.
00:37:17.320 You know, I get a link or something.
00:37:18.660 Hey, check out this.
00:37:19.440 And it's all, like, um, like, not a, not victims, affliction.
00:37:24.640 Well.
00:37:25.040 It's like affliction night.
00:37:26.040 I said publicly, do not ask me to do your all-female show that it's, like, ladies of laughter 0.99
00:37:33.700 or some shit. 0.99
00:37:34.480 I'm like, that is so fucking humiliating. 1.00
00:37:36.780 Why don't you just call it, look at these clams yapping? 1.00
00:37:39.780 Like, I cannot, I mean, like, I cannot even fathom that shit. 1.00
00:37:45.400 It's so embarrassing. 0.99
00:37:46.560 Well, here, here's, so here's something that happens, I think.
00:37:50.160 A lot of men, also, for me, I remember, like, I was so, it was so tough sometimes.
00:37:55.540 Like, um, who was I talking about one time?
00:37:58.640 Um, oh, Nikki Glaser, when I first heard her act, it reminded me, for some reason, of
00:38:03.000 my mother, specifically.
00:38:04.980 And so I, like, couldn't listen to her comedy in the beginning because there was just some
00:38:08.380 weird correlation between, like, her and what my mom sounded like to me growing up, right?
00:38:13.520 Yeah.
00:38:13.900 It's not that way now.
00:38:15.180 I mean, and she knows, I've talked, it's just been, like, a funny thing, but, um.
00:38:19.880 And I'm sure maybe girls.
00:38:20.880 I mean, men relate to women in weird ways.
00:38:22.720 Right, and girls probably do the same to guys, I bet. 1.00
00:38:25.000 Yeah, well, and there's also just a thing of, like, you know, it's good to be able to
00:38:31.020 do well in front of everyone, but there are demographics that are going to be more naturally
00:38:35.820 drawn to you and your material and who you are and what you're talking about.
00:38:39.400 Like, I don't, like.
00:38:40.420 Right, which is totally fine, and that's.
00:38:42.020 Yeah.
00:38:42.940 Like, the other night I did a show at that comedy jam, Jam in the Vans.
00:38:47.440 Uh-huh.
00:38:47.680 So, and then we had, uh, there was a comedian on the lineup who's a female comedian, right?
00:38:52.360 She says to me, and the crowd was pretty diverse.
00:38:55.700 She comes up to me after the show, she goes, hey, I just want to say, I saw your crowd,
00:38:59.320 very diverse group, you're really doing your job.
00:39:02.440 That's what she said to me.
00:39:04.020 And I'm like, I will never work with this girl again for saying that.
00:39:07.740 Because, like, you know how hard it is to get any audience?
00:39:09.800 You think I'm, I have to get a certain type of audience? 0.97
00:39:13.100 Like, that's fucking crazy to me. 0.96
00:39:15.940 Like, I'm happy to sell any tickets. 0.95
00:39:18.900 Like, now I have to make sure each audience member, like, this person, you know, has a hat,
00:39:24.120 this person has glasses, this person's a ginger, this person's a Filipino. 0.97
00:39:27.800 Like, that's fucking impossible. 0.99
00:39:29.880 Yeah. 0.99
00:39:30.140 Right?
00:39:30.940 Like, I don't know.
00:39:32.560 And maybe I had, like, I mean, I could have had, like, an overreaction.
00:39:34.740 It just seemed like, and this was a girl who doesn't sell tickets, which is fine, right? 0.86
00:39:39.180 But it was like, are you really telling me, like, that I have to have now a, like, a diverse audience? 0.93
00:39:46.580 Like, it just fucking was like, that's impossible. 0.96
00:39:50.740 Okay? 0.98
00:39:51.400 Maybe some people it's possible, but.
00:39:53.460 I love that you had a, and this is a person who doesn't sell tickets.
00:39:57.200 Yeah.
00:39:58.200 Well, it's like, coming from her, it's like, yeah, you would think that, hypothetically, in this perfect world,
00:40:03.560 it would be great if every time you walked out there, there was, like, a perfect rainbow of an audience.
00:40:07.840 I mean, I would love that, personally, for me, like, you know, there's nothing better on earth as a white woman than making black people laugh.
00:40:16.140 Right.
00:40:16.760 There's no better feeling in the world.
00:40:18.620 Oh, yeah.
00:40:19.340 But, like, yeah, I mean, you can control it, and people, like, I'm sure a lot of, you know, southern people are drawn to you.
00:40:27.500 I don't have a big southern audience, actually.
00:40:29.160 Oh.
00:40:29.660 Yeah.
00:40:30.480 But, yeah, most of my tickets, I sell Australia, Portland is my biggest audience.
00:40:35.480 Oh.
00:40:35.880 Yeah.
00:40:36.420 Wow.
00:40:36.580 Because I don't have a country audience.
00:40:37.680 I'm not a country guy.
00:40:38.740 Oh.
00:40:40.100 But, yeah, it's funny you would think that, though.
00:40:42.860 Well, I don't know what's country, just, like, aren't you from there?
00:40:46.120 I'm from Louisiana.
00:40:47.160 Yeah.
00:40:47.500 But, yeah, but I don't sell, it's like, I do great there, you know, but I don't, it's not, like, my biggest markets.
00:40:53.160 Oh.
00:40:53.620 Yeah, and it never has been, really.
00:40:56.600 But, yeah, I don't know, I just felt like that was such an, like, you're really doing your job. 0.99
00:41:02.140 Like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99
00:41:05.820 What are you, I don't know. 0.99
00:41:07.260 And I don't know why I'm bringing that up right now.
00:41:08.480 I guess because we're, like, talking about that kind of stuff.
00:41:10.540 Yeah.
00:41:11.000 But it just blows, like, what?
00:41:13.300 Like, you can't control who comes out there.
00:41:17.500 Yeah.
00:41:18.400 You know?
00:41:18.980 And you work so hard to get anybody to come out there.
00:41:22.220 Yeah.
00:41:22.480 That you are grateful, I'm grateful for those people. 0.99
00:41:24.640 I don't care what fucking collar and care, if they have no heads or arms. 0.99
00:41:27.940 Yeah. 0.99
00:41:28.220 If they have a heart that cares and wants to be there.
00:41:30.260 Yeah.
00:41:30.680 Then I'm grateful for that.
00:41:31.740 Yeah.
00:41:32.140 You would love a limbless audience.
00:41:34.120 I would be totally fine.
00:41:35.480 Yeah.
00:41:35.760 You'd love them to be wheeled into your show.
00:41:38.700 Yeah, yeah.
00:41:39.480 Yeah.
00:41:39.840 I mean, it would be fine.
00:41:41.660 Right.
00:41:43.000 But, yeah, I just thought that mindset that, like, now.
00:41:45.760 I wonder if that's a mindset that some comedians feel now.
00:41:48.200 That, like, man, now I have to get this perfectly diverse audience.
00:41:51.280 You know?
00:41:51.940 I don't know. 1.00
00:41:52.800 I don't think about that shit. 0.99
00:41:54.120 I just try to be a good person. 0.99
00:41:55.800 I'm for diversity.
00:41:57.200 But, you know, I'll just do what I can do.
00:41:59.440 And there's so much you can't control.
00:42:02.480 Yeah.
00:42:03.700 Yeah, I don't know.
00:42:04.400 I mean, I don't really know a lot of people that aren't for diversity, I guess.
00:42:08.580 That's good.
00:42:09.280 Yeah.
00:42:09.840 I mean, it's kind of inevitable, you know?
00:42:11.740 Yeah.
00:42:11.840 You can't even really be race anymore because everybody's so mixed now, you know? 1.00
00:42:15.240 It's, like, fucking almost impossible. 0.65
00:42:17.200 You almost have, like, a real chart if you're really going to be race. 0.98
00:42:19.700 It's, like, you got to really fucking do some homework, you know? 0.92
00:42:22.540 Yeah. 0.96
00:42:23.260 I feel like, anyway.
00:42:28.260 So, what other stuff have you tried outside of breath work?
00:42:32.040 I really did a lot.
00:42:33.980 Have you?
00:42:34.240 Like, so, like, quarantine.
00:42:36.100 And I've always been like this.
00:42:37.120 I was like this since I was a little kid.
00:42:38.840 I was raised Catholic.
00:42:40.740 But, like, my parents, when I would ask them about God, they'd just, like, change the subject.
00:42:45.140 But it was, like, an Italian thing.
00:42:46.860 It's just, like, culturally Catholic.
00:42:48.340 Because my dad's, like, full Italian.
00:42:50.240 Okay.
00:42:50.500 But I was, like, I would think deeply about all of it, like, really seriously.
00:42:57.380 And I always was, like, reading.
00:43:00.040 And I just loved learning.
00:43:01.380 And so, you know, I've been in therapy for a long time.
00:43:06.260 And when quarantine hit, I was like, oh, now I can't do stand-up.
00:43:11.200 Like, I had this time.
00:43:12.640 And I just started taking, like, all these weirdo online courses.
00:43:16.480 I did, I took breathwork and, like, I took it online through Zoom.
00:43:21.780 Yeah.
00:43:21.940 I was taking breathwork classes for the first time.
00:43:23.920 And I just couldn't believe it.
00:43:25.360 It was amazing.
00:43:27.420 Because, you know, I was reading those books that are saying, like, trauma stored in your body.
00:43:31.920 In, like, your physical body, your tissues and everything.
00:43:35.840 Did you believe that when you heard it at first?
00:43:38.120 Yeah.
00:43:38.540 I mean, there's, like, a lot of research about it.
00:43:41.040 Uh, and, you know, if you had any abuse or anything, it's in there, like, beyond your conscious mind.
00:43:49.780 Um, and then, like, I took Reiki certification.
00:43:53.420 Wow.
00:43:53.920 Yeah, I just was, like, and I just do all this stuff for fun.
00:43:57.480 Oh, it's fascinating.
00:43:58.220 Yeah, like, I like learning about it.
00:44:00.080 And I take a little from each thing.
00:44:01.780 I don't, like, I don't treat anything as dogma.
00:44:05.220 Yeah.
00:44:05.620 And then I took TM meditation certification.
00:44:08.080 Yeah.
00:44:08.660 And then I did ayahuasca.
00:44:10.060 Oh, wow.
00:44:11.380 Yeah.
00:44:12.360 Um, so I want to go through a little bit of that.
00:44:14.620 So, uh, what do you say you said?
00:44:19.840 Um.
00:44:21.500 Breath work.
00:44:22.280 Breath work.
00:44:22.880 And you got certified to teach it?
00:44:24.520 Yeah.
00:44:24.940 Wow.
00:44:25.480 I took two, uh, levels of courses.
00:44:28.680 The first one is just to teach one-on-one.
00:44:30.400 And then the second level is to teach, like, group classes.
00:44:33.160 And how long does that certification and stuff take?
00:44:35.860 Um, it's a certain, I don't know.
00:44:37.320 I was, like, how many hours would it have been?
00:44:40.600 Probably, like, 16 hours per level.
00:44:43.300 You do, like, it was online.
00:44:45.060 Dang.
00:44:45.560 Yeah. 0.99
00:44:45.960 And are you, like, practicing your neighbors and shit? 0.98
00:44:47.620 Like, what do you, how do you, is there? 0.99
00:44:49.260 Well, I wasn't going to teach it.
00:44:50.660 It was never, I was never going to teach it.
00:44:52.780 You were just learning it to learn it.
00:44:53.700 I was just, like, interested.
00:44:55.080 Yeah.
00:44:55.340 And, you know, I wasn't on the road.
00:44:56.980 I wasn't doing anything.
00:44:58.060 And it was just fun.
00:44:59.720 And, um, and then, like, nine months after I took it, like, some of my friends were, like, 0.80
00:45:04.220 people are all really fucked up around us. 0.98
00:45:06.740 Like, you should just do an online one. 0.98
00:45:08.660 And I was, like, no.
00:45:10.080 That's weird.
00:45:10.980 Especially, like, you know, comedy and stuff.
00:45:14.060 Like, it would be, like, a vulnerable thing to be, like, take my breath work class.
00:45:19.500 Yeah.
00:45:19.780 Um, but, yeah, I, like, made an online thing and a bunch of people came and they really
00:45:25.960 liked it.
00:45:26.720 And then I've done, like, two since and I'm doing another one.
00:45:29.580 I haven't done one since June, but I'm doing one on Tuesday.
00:45:33.700 Yeah.
00:45:35.020 Um, you haven't done one of your own, you mean?
00:45:38.140 No, I haven't had a virtual class or, like, that people can come to.
00:45:41.760 So you'll do a virtual, oh, and anybody can go?
00:45:43.880 Yeah.
00:45:44.240 So is it the same, like, the lesson that you gave me?
00:45:46.940 Yeah.
00:45:47.360 But it's a group.
00:45:47.780 It's less personalized.
00:45:48.700 Right.
00:45:48.920 Yeah, I can't personalize it for, like, a big group.
00:45:51.380 Right.
00:45:51.820 Like, when we do a session, um, you know, I think Brittany is the one that told you.
00:45:57.220 Yeah, Brittany, uh, Hunter?
00:45:58.900 No, Brittany.
00:45:59.640 Brittany Schmidt.
00:46:00.320 I'm sorry.
00:46:01.360 Brittany Hunter went to my high school. 0.99
00:46:02.960 Yeah, who the fuck is Brittany Hunter? 1.00
00:46:05.180 I, I, she was a great woman. 0.99
00:46:06.520 I don't know.
00:46:07.040 I don't know.
00:46:07.560 I think she's still alive.
00:46:08.640 I don't know.
00:46:10.100 But, um, I think she went to my high school.
00:46:12.060 I don't even know, actually.
00:46:13.120 I remember, like, one person from my school, so I don't even.
00:46:16.640 Yeah.
00:46:16.940 Um, wow.
00:46:18.160 You just, you just don't, you're not a fan.
00:46:20.100 You just, did you thrive in high school?
00:46:22.800 I did.
00:46:24.380 Everything was going great until something bad happened.
00:46:29.320 Oh, in high school?
00:46:30.060 Yeah.
00:46:30.680 Oh.
00:46:31.780 Um.
00:46:32.180 But, like, yeah.
00:46:36.460 And.
00:46:37.120 I did thrive.
00:46:38.080 You did?
00:46:38.740 Yeah.
00:46:39.280 Were, uh, how do you feel like you thrived?
00:46:41.580 Like, were you funny then?
00:46:43.440 I was funny.
00:46:44.900 Like, I was a surfer.
00:46:46.020 I was like, like, started a volleyball player.
00:46:49.060 Went to UCLA.
00:46:50.240 You went to UCLA?
00:46:51.380 For volleyball.
00:46:52.260 Oh, wow.
00:46:52.840 Really?
00:46:53.140 Yeah.
00:46:53.540 Oh, dang.
00:46:54.600 Yeah.
00:46:55.420 Dude, what a babe, huh? 1.00
00:46:56.860 Uh, it was, so, high school was good, but I, some shit did go down that really was tough. 0.98
00:47:06.100 Was it, um. 0.97
00:47:07.460 My coach.
00:47:08.820 You're, you had a coach?
00:47:10.480 Yeah.
00:47:10.820 That was abusive?
00:47:13.720 Yeah.
00:47:14.160 Yeah.
00:47:14.660 Yeah.
00:47:15.100 I'm sorry to hear that.
00:47:16.080 Oh, it's okay.
00:47:16.800 Thank you.
00:47:17.480 Um, is that one of the things that you, made you want to do, like, seek out some of these
00:47:21.840 other things?
00:47:22.560 Yeah.
00:47:23.360 And, like, you know, I'd worked my whole life.
00:47:25.860 I was, like, junior national team, all this stuff, like, volleyball.
00:47:28.580 And this is in college?
00:47:29.880 Uh, yeah.
00:47:30.560 And then, like, it was just kind of, I mentally wasn't, like, it just wasn't great for me because
00:47:39.400 everything that happened and stuff, and I quit, like, two years in.
00:47:43.820 Um, so you had an, you had a abusive experience with a coach?
00:47:48.120 Yeah.
00:47:48.600 And, I'm sorry, I don't know how to ask about it.
00:47:50.380 No, that's okay.
00:47:51.460 You're doing great.
00:47:52.540 Yeah, I'm curious.
00:47:53.540 It's process.
00:47:54.520 Okay.
00:47:54.720 It's not, like, yeah.
00:47:55.780 Okay, so you had, so you were in high school when this happened?
00:47:58.900 Yeah.
00:47:59.320 Wow.
00:47:59.880 Yeah.
00:48:00.340 And it was a coach of yours?
00:48:02.740 Yeah.
00:48:03.340 And did, was there charges?
00:48:05.080 Was it?
00:48:05.900 No, like.
00:48:06.620 What, can I ask you what happened?
00:48:07.720 I mean, it was, like, a sexual abuse thing, and, um, like, there was, I've talked about
00:48:14.320 it on podcasts.
00:48:14.620 Because I'm trying to be brave, because I don't have, I get nervous asking about certain
00:48:17.540 stuff.
00:48:17.780 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:48:18.240 So for me, I'm not trying to, like, I don't want you to be uncomfortable.
00:48:20.660 No, no, I'm, I'll only go as far as I want to go.
00:48:23.900 Okay.
00:48:24.740 And I don't want you to feel like I expect you to talk about it.
00:48:26.860 No, no, it's, um.
00:48:27.980 But I think it, if it's, I do think it's interesting if, what our traumas are, or why, you know, 0.61
00:48:34.440 because that breathwork class, the first one I took from you, fucking blew my mind.
00:48:37.780 Like, I'm on the phone with my brother, I can't even talk. 0.98
00:48:40.220 Right.
00:48:40.500 Because I'm crying, you know.
00:48:42.080 Right.
00:48:42.240 And he thinks just something's wrong with the connection. 0.97
00:48:44.640 And I'm like, fucking, something's wrong with every connection in my life, you know. 0.96
00:48:48.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. 0.97
00:48:49.840 And, like, these things, um, impact us, like, subconsciously for a long time.
00:48:55.920 And I was in therapy, and, you know, therapy's great, and I got to a place where I could,
00:49:00.800 you know, talk about it totally comfortably, and, and was it a relationship that you had
00:49:05.180 with a coach?
00:49:05.900 Uh, yeah.
00:49:06.520 I mean, there was, like, I found out there was, like, many other people besides me, but,
00:49:10.420 um, unfortunately.
00:49:12.960 Uh, but yeah, it really was just so disorienting, and, like, a really developmental, like, sensitive
00:49:19.340 time of my life.
00:49:20.700 Wow.
00:49:21.060 And especially, like, this thing where I sort of felt like I had to choose between saying
00:49:27.320 something, or, like, um, ruining my, which, sadly, I still think was the right choice.
00:49:35.140 Because I was like, I'm not fucking up my dream of playing division volleyball at my
00:49:39.620 division one volleyball at my dream school, you know.
00:49:42.940 Yeah. 0.99
00:49:43.520 Um, so I didn't say any, I didn't say shit. 0.60
00:49:45.940 Um, and then, yeah, just, I sort of started processing, and when I was older, I ended up 0.90
00:49:52.020 doing, uh, talking about it in stand-up, like, uh, like, sort of before the pandemic, and
00:49:57.920 I was never, like, one of those people that was, like, I have to be confessional comedy
00:50:01.920 or whatever.
00:50:02.560 I was like, I would only talk about this if it was not for any sort of, like, processing 0.94
00:50:07.100 trauma, but because it was really fucking funny. 0.68
00:50:10.420 Um, and so I did that, and that was really cool, but also really, uh, it wore on me a lot 0.63
00:50:17.400 more than I thought it would be.
00:50:19.020 I could only, I only did it for, like.
00:50:20.680 Oh, it wore on you?
00:50:21.180 Yeah, yeah, because it was so different, like, I, I talked about it, um, I thought,
00:50:26.560 like, I talked about it so much that it's, like, I feel great.
00:50:31.060 Talking about it on stage every night, uh, took so much out of me physically, and also
00:50:37.700 before I got it, like, good, you know, bombing.
00:50:41.520 Right, oh. 1.00
00:50:42.420 But that shit was. 1.00
00:50:44.160 Trauma bombing? 1.00
00:50:46.260 There's nothing sadder.
00:50:47.480 Yeah, no, it's like.
00:50:48.400 There's nothing more painful.
00:50:49.020 No, I just got molested again.
00:50:50.680 Um, but, yeah.
00:50:52.660 Uh, and then I put that set out.
00:50:55.200 By silence.
00:50:56.140 Yeah.
00:50:56.360 I was like, you guys are injuring me right now, um, but, yeah, like, I'm really proud
00:51:02.380 of that set.
00:51:02.980 Like, I think it's, like, one of the funniest things I've ever done.
00:51:06.560 Um.
00:51:07.220 Wow.
00:51:07.740 Yeah.
00:51:08.020 Yeah.
00:51:08.060 What would you do if you didn't have high interest loans or credit card debt?
00:51:11.700 What would you do?
00:51:13.500 If you didn't have a high interest rate mortgage, you didn't have credit card debt, what would
00:51:17.200 you do?
00:51:18.300 Go to Guam, maybe?
00:51:20.100 Go to Bahrain?
00:51:21.400 Go to, uh, go to Ohio?
00:51:24.340 Go take a trip somewhere.
00:51:25.580 Do something.
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00:54:24.820 So, when all that, so you quit volleyball at the time because it was just all of it was
00:54:29.600 too much?
00:54:30.320 No, I wouldn't say it was because of that.
00:54:33.440 Like, I wouldn't, it was just like, it was, it had been so much, uh, that it was just,
00:54:41.300 I was overwhelmed.
00:54:42.440 Wow.
00:54:42.920 Like, cause I wasn't mentally, and obviously I didn't have any support.
00:54:46.820 I hadn't told anyone, you know, whatever it was.
00:54:48.760 So, uh, yeah, it was just really crazy experience.
00:54:52.260 And how much of that, when you look back on it now, um, and if it's a, not a fair thing
00:54:58.440 to ask or something, just let me know.
00:54:59.640 Cause I don't really know sometimes, but, um, how much are you able to try and examine
00:55:04.800 the psyche of whatever that person that like, you know, the abuser was like, are you able
00:55:10.180 to like try and not obviously understand where they're coming from, but see like, you know,
00:55:16.820 cause now you seem pretty in tune with like feelings and why people do stuff.
00:55:21.080 Maybe I'm sure you've had a lot of, you know, a lot of going through a lot of your own stuff
00:55:25.320 with that.
00:55:26.040 Are you able to like, I don't know what I guess.
00:55:30.700 No.
00:55:30.980 Am I able to forgive this person?
00:55:33.960 Yeah.
00:55:34.340 Like how do you find some foot and you'd be able to forgive somebody? 0.98
00:55:36.740 Cause that would be fucking hard. 0.95
00:55:38.260 Um, I don't think, yeah. 0.90
00:55:40.060 I mean, I've really had a whole process with that.
00:55:42.360 I don't think, um, obviously it's not a well person. 0.96
00:55:45.080 It's like they're mentally sick, you know, a kid. 0.79
00:55:50.100 Like when I see like a 16 year old now, I'm like, that's a baby. 0.99
00:55:53.560 Right.
00:55:54.020 Uh, and so you are not well, if you are somehow attracted to a child.
00:56:01.060 Um, yeah, but I, I, I just see it as a sick person and you know, I had to, it's painful
00:56:08.700 and all this stuff, but, um, yeah, it's just like, I have to move forward and enjoy
00:56:14.940 it in my life.
00:56:15.580 Like you do have to look directly at these things to get through them.
00:56:18.700 Uh, but yeah, I want to have a good life.
00:56:22.220 I'll say it's like, I do have like commitment issues that I'm working through at this point
00:56:28.460 in my life.
00:56:29.640 Yeah.
00:56:30.900 Wow.
00:56:31.420 I bet.
00:56:33.000 It's just like, I mean, I could, yeah, you don't realize the side effects of like, I think
00:56:37.160 sometimes we don't even realize the side effects of certain things, like all the little things
00:56:40.560 that it can go into, you know?
00:56:42.000 Yeah.
00:56:42.280 Like I'll have these like nice men try to get close to me and I'm just like, I don't
00:56:48.840 know, but I'm, I'm working through it.
00:56:51.840 Yeah.
00:56:53.460 Um, that's crazy.
00:56:56.000 It reminds me of like, it just makes me think of when I was growing up, they had like coaches
00:56:59.960 that would get in trouble for date. 0.97
00:57:02.340 Yeah.
00:57:02.500 Like there was a lot of that. 0.99
00:57:03.860 I mean, there's so much bullshit that goes on now. 0.99
00:57:06.160 There's so much pain in the world. 1.00
00:57:07.340 There really is.
00:57:08.240 And it, and it's like, there really, really is.
00:57:10.780 And like, I, I want to be each person that heals himself and gets well, it has a ripple
00:57:18.320 effect.
00:57:18.780 Yeah.
00:57:19.220 And it's able to be more kind to the people around them and to make the world better and
00:57:25.580 less full of pain.
00:57:26.960 Yeah.
00:57:27.480 And like, I want to be, have children and I want to be really solid.
00:57:32.160 And yeah.
00:57:33.620 Right.
00:57:34.260 Yeah.
00:57:34.620 It's hard.
00:57:35.100 It's hard to do that.
00:57:35.840 I, I struggle a lot with that commitment stuff and it's so fucking hard for me.
00:57:39.100 Like my whole life, it's always been hard for me to like, say like, this is my girlfriend.
00:57:42.720 Like I, there's nothing makes me cringe more than saying like that I'm attached to anybody.
00:57:53.120 Is it because it limits your options?
00:57:56.140 No, I don't think that that's it.
00:57:57.800 I think it's like some, I mean, I'm sure there's been times where, where obviously maybe I did
00:58:02.440 what didn't want to be in a relationship or something, but I think for me when I was
00:58:07.300 young, like the only thing I felt like I had was the way you saw me.
00:58:11.200 Like I was always like hyper managing like my, um, like I'd hated where we lived.
00:58:18.420 I hated our financial status.
00:58:20.420 I didn't like our family.
00:58:21.820 We had no family set up all these things that I had no control over.
00:58:25.260 Yeah. 0.99
00:58:26.080 That fucking may just were like, maybe so angry or uncomfortable. 1.00
00:58:30.100 And then the only thing I could control was how you saw me. 1.00
00:58:33.840 Like when you saw me, how you saw me.
00:58:35.940 So it was like, I was constantly trying to manage this image of like, I would take different 0.97
00:58:40.840 buses to different neighborhoods and then fucking walk them. 1.00
00:58:43.340 Just weird shit. 0.99
00:58:44.080 But then I always like was, I think it was like, well, if I have somebody else attached 0.99
00:58:48.560 to me and they do something weird or uncomfortable or whatever, then that's going to be a reflection
00:58:52.780 of how you see me.
00:58:53.940 It was just too much of a liability.
00:58:56.040 It was, it's cause it's all an outward focus.
00:59:00.560 Right.
00:59:00.980 Like I'm concerned with what people.
00:59:02.940 Yeah.
00:59:03.500 I get that.
00:59:04.160 Like, I think that's something that's so natural, especially as like teenagers and
00:59:09.620 that whole time period.
00:59:10.900 And, and then as you get older, that's something I'm really focusing on.
00:59:14.260 We've talked about it in breath work, but like, I really want to not look outward and
00:59:20.640 that's, I stopped.
00:59:21.960 I really have been negotiating my relationship with Instagram too, because I feel that's all
00:59:27.520 looking outward.
00:59:28.540 Yeah. 1.00
00:59:28.820 I'll black out and like lose an hour just like watching fucking Instagram stories. 0.99
00:59:33.080 And I'm like, this is hell. 0.99
00:59:34.700 This is, um, this is not like an intentional thing. 0.99
00:59:37.340 I don't want to know what these people are fucking doing. 0.99
00:59:39.480 This is literally hell on earth. 1.00
00:59:41.440 I'm afraid of being on my fucking deathbed and being like, I didn't live life. 0.99
00:59:45.640 I was just looking at Instagram stories. 0.99
00:59:47.740 Yeah.
00:59:48.180 You know what I mean?
00:59:49.060 And so I'm, I, and like now also, I'm really trying to think about like, especially it
00:59:57.600 is hard when we do this thing where you are really putting yourself out there to be seen
01:00:02.120 and that can be difficult.
01:00:04.080 It's hard to be vulnerable in like a public life like this.
01:00:09.080 And so in my mind, one thing I'm working on is just maintaining my energy no matter who
01:00:14.160 I'm around.
01:00:14.820 Like nobody is above me and nobody is below me, whoever they are.
01:00:20.220 Yeah.
01:00:20.880 So that I'm not like outside myself.
01:00:23.400 Oh, I see what you're saying.
01:00:25.040 So it keeps everything in this ground where it's all like, it's going to be the same no
01:00:28.460 matter what.
01:00:28.920 So that's a lot more manageable.
01:00:30.700 I'm not trying to impress anyone and I'm not trying to look down on anyone.
01:00:35.140 Right.
01:00:35.420 That's like the state that I'm trying to, girl, that's a real tightrope.
01:00:40.520 Yeah.
01:00:40.780 I mean, it's good.
01:00:41.600 No, it's a great, I love it.
01:00:43.060 Practice.
01:00:43.860 Right. 0.99
01:00:44.160 Now I'll be around like really big fucking people and they're just a person. 0.99
01:00:49.180 Yeah. 0.98
01:00:49.780 And I'm also around people like, I don't want, I want to be regular with them.
01:00:55.080 I want to treat that person.
01:00:56.660 That's like, but like not wherever I am. 0.99
01:01:00.040 The exact fucking same. 0.98
01:01:01.820 Yeah. 0.98
01:01:02.820 Sometimes it's hard, dude.
01:01:03.800 They had this guy in like in a park next to our, uh, my place out here and he was like
01:01:09.020 playing this drummer all night.
01:01:10.640 He is not a drummer.
01:01:11.780 Right.
01:01:12.100 So that's a real, that was a lot, you know?
01:01:16.000 Um, but I seen himself.
01:01:18.080 Yeah.
01:01:19.180 Kind of, but it kind of like, not during business hours, you know?
01:01:22.340 So sometimes it's hard, man. 0.94
01:01:23.600 I just want to treat everybody well and not fucking throw limes at that guy. 0.90
01:01:26.700 Oh yeah. 0.94
01:01:27.820 I know.
01:01:28.440 I will now I'll be like aware of my impatience because you might be a highly sensitive person.
01:01:35.620 Yeah.
01:01:35.920 Which is 20% of the population.
01:01:37.920 Is it really?
01:01:38.580 I identify unfortunately to my humiliation as one of those people. 0.98
01:01:43.940 I don't want to be a highly fucking sensitive person. 0.97
01:01:46.340 Most of this audience is probably highly sensitive. 0.98
01:01:48.740 That's my audience actually.
01:01:50.220 It's like, no, I mean highly sensitive to environment, noise, you know.
01:01:56.640 Oh yeah, I am.
01:01:57.460 Heat, scent, like all sorts of things.
01:02:01.320 Like I really am that. 1.00
01:02:03.680 And it, it doesn't, it's a little, it'll come up and I'm like, I'm going to fucking kill this person. 1.00
01:02:08.840 Yeah. 0.96
01:02:09.160 But then I'm like, no, no, relax.
01:02:10.940 How can you surrender?
01:02:12.220 How can you just allow this reality to be since you have no control of it anyway?
01:02:17.580 Yeah, that's true. 0.99
01:02:18.540 But sometimes you got to fucking put the hammer down. 1.00
01:02:21.200 It's impossible sometimes not to put the fucking hammer down. 1.00
01:02:24.200 Yeah. 1.00
01:02:24.660 You know?
01:02:27.020 Yeah.
01:02:27.820 It's hectic.
01:02:28.860 It's an interesting, it's a, it's interesting these days.
01:02:31.480 I feel like serenity is definitely feels like more of a commodity, you know?
01:02:38.420 We're so, everything is so inundated.
01:02:40.980 And when you get like, especially you get on social media, you get on your phone.
01:02:43.640 I really feel like I fall into a war.
01:02:47.940 Hypnotized.
01:02:48.600 Yes.
01:02:49.040 And because I will literally come out of it and I'll tell people, I'll be like, I'm back.
01:02:52.640 I'll say that.
01:02:53.400 I find myself saying that.
01:02:54.460 Like I've just, just gone somewhere.
01:02:56.380 I've, I do.
01:02:57.620 I've started deleting it off my phone during the day.
01:02:59.980 Oh wow.
01:03:00.600 Because I just think it's a nightmare.
01:03:03.600 Instagram's, Instagram's whatever. 0.98
01:03:05.380 TikTok's a fucking hard one though. 0.98
01:03:06.680 I don't have TikTok. 0.99
01:03:07.480 Oh.
01:03:07.740 I'm not pulling you people in.
01:03:09.160 TikTok is good though.
01:03:10.380 But that's the problem though.
01:03:11.340 They fine tuned it and made it honestly.
01:03:14.360 Well, no, they just made it pretty good.
01:03:16.220 Like TikTok, I'm watching like a couple of, you know, you can watch somebody do knitting.
01:03:21.040 You can watch like just quiet Asians, dude. 1.00
01:03:23.660 It's like total. 0.60
01:03:24.480 You're just watching Asian people be quiet. 1.00
01:03:26.200 Like you can, there's so many things that's just like, you can watch somebody doing a cake.
01:03:30.320 You can watch somebody just turning the pages of a book.
01:03:33.600 Yeah. 0.99
01:03:34.180 Like it's definitely like they fucking, they went all out. 0.98
01:03:38.200 I just want less altogether. 0.99
01:03:40.880 Like I want to just become a movie star already so that I can move to fucking Montana. 1.00
01:03:47.640 Oh damn. 0.99
01:03:48.020 And fly in for my role and then go back out away from everyone. 1.00
01:03:54.040 Yeah.
01:03:54.560 Okay.
01:03:55.280 Yeah.
01:03:55.640 Yeah, I like that maybe.
01:04:01.020 I don't know.
01:04:01.580 You think you would like it out there on like a ranch or something? 0.99
01:04:04.760 Yes, I fucking would. 0.99
01:04:06.300 You do? 1.00
01:04:06.840 Yeah.
01:04:07.140 I don't, I just want to like, I, maybe I'm getting old.
01:04:10.900 I just like love the quiet. 0.99
01:04:12.680 Like I need to keep up with all this shit. 0.99
01:04:15.160 I don't care. 1.00
01:04:16.220 I don't want to, I don't need to see you cooking eggs.
01:04:18.580 But will you not have the ability to then to draw from stuff?
01:04:21.600 I mean, I know that's kind of like a, will you not have the ability to draw from stuff?
01:04:26.680 No, I have more.
01:04:27.560 Cause like I hike almost every day.
01:04:29.460 Like now I'm trying to be in nature.
01:04:31.780 Like a nature comic?
01:04:33.060 Yeah, I'm a nature comic.
01:04:34.600 No, I just get like when my mind is still, like it was when I was a kid and I didn't have
01:04:41.340 phones or anything and I would daydream or think up, make up worlds and all this imagination
01:04:47.160 and shit. 1.00
01:04:47.920 But like, that's when shit comes to me. 1.00
01:04:50.060 Like jokes always come to me when I'm in the shower, I'm getting a massage, I'm outside 0.99
01:04:55.540 away from a screen is when there's space for things to come into my head.
01:05:01.200 And I get, I can be like, think of silly things or think of like weird perspectives.
01:05:08.860 Do you, um, a lot of rich people are going to outer space, you know it?
01:05:14.140 Yeah, I've heard.
01:05:14.960 And do you think that, uh, do you think that that's fair?
01:05:21.500 Um, I try not to think about what's fair and not fair.
01:05:25.780 I feel like that.
01:05:26.960 I mean, I do in some ways, trust me, I want things to be like equitable for all people.
01:05:33.340 I mean, like, I don't know why that whole thing is happening.
01:05:37.820 They could redirect that money to things that need it.
01:05:41.420 Yeah.
01:05:41.740 But also, I mean, what do I, I have no control over it. 0.97
01:05:45.000 I don't fucking care. 0.80
01:05:46.160 But do you think, cause some people think there's like rich people are meeting up and 0.98
01:05:49.660 spare, like there's like another place that they're all. 0.99
01:05:55.900 That's fucking insane. 1.00
01:05:57.620 Tell me fucking this shit is weird. 1.00
01:05:59.040 I mean, that's crazy. 1.00
01:05:59.880 I have not heard that.
01:06:00.480 Like we're all at like Walmart and they're at like a Chick-fil-A in the sky, you know?
01:06:05.120 Wow.
01:06:05.560 Yeah.
01:06:05.960 No, I have not considered a Chick-fil-A in the sky yet.
01:06:11.580 Uh, cause it seems like that a little, you know, it seems like they're all going up there
01:06:15.400 and yeah, just look, you know, like, Oh, look at them.
01:06:17.420 Are you a conspiracy theorist?
01:06:18.240 Um, I'm not, I mean, I probably am somewhat.
01:06:20.860 But I think, I think certainly a lot more levels of like people wondering what's going
01:06:24.900 on, you know?
01:06:25.840 Yeah.
01:06:26.300 I think as you start to see like a lot of like, as we get further away from like any
01:06:30.300 type of faith and religion or any, like a lot of people do not have a real strong sense
01:06:35.080 of faith.
01:06:35.460 I don't think these days.
01:06:36.620 So I think when you get like out there like that, then you start to, people look at conspiracies
01:06:41.120 more.
01:06:41.360 They want, they're looking for something.
01:06:42.880 People are always looking for something to believe in.
01:06:45.740 And I feel like a reason, a person, you know, like a, they want, uh, an answer.
01:06:50.940 Do you have faith?
01:06:52.100 Yeah.
01:06:53.020 Like in a Judeo-Christian God or what?
01:06:55.940 Yeah.
01:06:56.320 I mean, I believe in God.
01:06:57.340 I believe in a higher power.
01:06:58.640 And for me, I use God as that, as the sidewalk for that, for me.
01:07:03.360 Yeah.
01:07:03.620 So I think different people use different things, you know?
01:07:05.840 Yeah.
01:07:06.160 I mean, I've tried on many different things.
01:07:08.540 Yeah?
01:07:08.940 Yeah.
01:07:09.260 Yeah.
01:07:10.340 Um, but now I just think of God as like divine loving intelligence.
01:07:15.740 Like completely divorced of all religion though.
01:07:18.980 Religion, I don't know, at this point, doesn't really seem like it for me. 1.00
01:07:25.320 Like when I think of the Catholic shit, I'm just like, that's fucking insane. 1.00
01:07:29.560 Like how are these flocks not arrested ever? 1.00
01:07:32.580 Yeah.
01:07:33.020 Like, what do you mean?
01:07:34.060 Like for what? 0.99
01:07:35.160 Like the Catholic rape thing. 0.98
01:07:37.120 I went to Catholic school. 0.69
01:07:38.820 There was a priest at every school I went to was transferred.
01:07:43.300 Oh yeah.
01:07:43.880 And then I saw like a, I saw a headline the other day that France, just France, has had
01:07:50.860 like 350,000 abused kids by the Catholic church.
01:07:54.400 Well, imagine being romantically molested. 0.99
01:07:57.120 But I'm like, that's fucking insane how that they're fully, a religion is fully protected 0.99
01:08:02.200 globally where it's basically legal sex abuse. 0.99
01:08:07.120 Yeah.
01:08:07.380 That's crazy.
01:08:09.100 That's totally crazy.
01:08:09.940 Well, it's also, I mean, it's like, and then that also that they don't pay taxes.
01:08:13.180 It's crazy that none of these things are like charged.
01:08:15.680 There's like, it's unbelievable.
01:08:18.420 And especially when it's like people need, they want some reason.
01:08:21.540 They want some, you know, a lot of people want church.
01:08:25.460 They are also brought up in churches.
01:08:26.960 So it's like a comfortable place.
01:08:28.340 You know, one of the things I love about church is like you go and you see like kids are playing
01:08:32.680 together.
01:08:33.260 It's fun.
01:08:33.620 It's like a fun place.
01:08:34.600 Families get together.
01:08:35.860 Yes.
01:08:36.240 It's, it's, it's a family oriented thing.
01:08:38.980 That's the thing I love about it.
01:08:40.060 That's one thing to me that's really nice.
01:08:41.600 There's a lot of really good things like, but it's crazy why they cover these guys up.
01:08:45.760 Why they like, why don't they send, they would be, has so much more integrity if they 0.99
01:08:50.640 shipped all those fuckers to jail. 1.00
01:08:52.820 To Australia. 1.00
01:08:53.300 And they said, we're, they put them in jail.
01:08:56.100 They said, we are cleaning out our institution.
01:08:58.940 Yeah, but they're not doing that.
01:09:00.120 And then you would be like, oh, bravo.
01:09:02.440 You know, like, good.
01:09:03.760 But Hollywood could do the same thing. 1.00
01:09:05.180 Hollywood is just a fucking, it's a fucking, it's definitely a religion. 1.00
01:09:08.840 Yeah. 1.00
01:09:09.120 Our coworkers are, we're amongst them.
01:09:12.000 It's great.
01:09:12.820 I love saying hello to them all the time.
01:09:15.020 Hello at my place of work.
01:09:17.140 It's really good.
01:09:19.000 But do you.
01:09:19.520 Hi Blair.
01:09:20.020 Yeah.
01:09:20.220 Hello.
01:09:20.520 Do you think it brings, but then I think that just goes back to just how much, like,
01:09:26.760 there's just a damaged element to being human.
01:09:30.780 A hundred percent.
01:09:31.640 It is humanity.
01:09:34.100 And look, even the best person on earth has done horrible things.
01:09:38.200 Yeah.
01:09:38.420 John Legend.
01:09:39.140 The best person on earth.
01:09:42.180 And like.
01:09:43.220 And that was a joke, but yeah. 1.00
01:09:44.320 I mean, everybody's a piece of shit. 1.00
01:09:46.120 You can't not. 1.00
01:09:47.000 It's not a piece of shit. 0.99
01:09:48.240 It's just like. 1.00
01:09:49.300 But everybody has shit on them. 1.00
01:09:50.400 It's, of course. 1.00
01:09:51.700 Everybody has shit on their shoes. 1.00
01:09:53.060 And some people in their shoes. 1.00
01:09:55.200 Yeah.
01:09:55.660 It's, it's really confusing.
01:09:57.080 And like, I try.
01:09:59.700 One of the things I'm really working on is like not taking things personally.
01:10:04.440 Yeah.
01:10:04.740 Just trying that on.
01:10:06.240 And it's hard.
01:10:08.120 Cause you're, but it's like when, as I'm setting this intention, I'm seeing it more clearly
01:10:13.920 that like when someone does something to piss me off, they're not even thinking about me. 0.97
01:10:18.720 They're fully viewing it through their own fucked up lens or whatever pain they're going 0.99
01:10:22.800 through. 0.99
01:10:23.200 You know what I mean?
01:10:23.900 Right.
01:10:24.380 Yeah.
01:10:24.800 Right.
01:10:25.020 And we've also gotten so in our own world that that's the only lens we even have anymore.
01:10:28.560 So you're not even looking at things as a two-way street.
01:10:30.900 I noticed a few years ago when the elevator would open, people would get in.
01:10:35.520 It used to always be.
01:10:37.400 Yeah.
01:10:38.040 It was always.
01:10:39.080 Yeah.
01:10:39.360 People got out first.
01:10:40.520 You wait.
01:10:41.160 It was just a natural thing.
01:10:42.420 And then now people get in as it's like, it's all kind of, I don't know.
01:10:51.000 It's hard to know if it's, it's hard to know if how much of what we are like suffering from
01:10:58.220 or will suffer from if, if it's like side effects of like society or if it's just like
01:11:06.620 this, this flaw inside of us.
01:11:09.620 I don't know.
01:11:10.260 It's all of it.
01:11:10.900 It's too much.
01:11:11.660 It's not a flaw.
01:11:13.020 I would encourage you to think of it differently.
01:11:17.100 What I like, you know, the guy I learned of breath work, bro.
01:11:20.620 He divine healing as just, what I love about it is because it takes all the pathology away.
01:11:27.240 And just a healing is just like giving love to the places that hurt, you know, instead
01:11:32.680 of like broken illness, like all these like things that we think are flaws or are broken
01:11:41.640 brokenness or like make us unlovable.
01:11:44.600 And that is something I love about breath work because it's so pure.
01:11:48.420 It's just something giving your God given like natural structure, putting it to use and remembering
01:11:56.180 the divinity of who you are.
01:11:58.560 Yeah, it's a lot.
01:12:03.940 Do you think that like, but if we didn't have like flaw, if we didn't, do you think we ever
01:12:09.660 get to a place where it's all evened out or it's just always this constant?
01:12:13.780 No, because that would be perfection.
01:12:18.940 Perfection doesn't exist.
01:12:21.020 And like trying for that is pain.
01:12:23.560 Like, you know, when you get into it, like, of course you want to be stable and you want
01:12:29.360 to be feeling good a majority of the time.
01:12:31.460 But I think the definition of mental health is being able to feel the full spectrum of
01:12:37.940 emotions in a healthy way.
01:12:40.460 Yeah.
01:12:41.860 Yeah.
01:12:42.300 I would say that that's probably sounds pretty fair to me.
01:12:45.140 I would like that.
01:12:46.820 Yeah.
01:12:47.520 But like when we like when I think then you get into spiritual bypassing, which is like
01:12:52.940 toxic positivity, which isn't like actually addressing how you feel or whatever as some
01:13:00.080 way of like enlightenment.
01:13:01.660 And the fact is, we're just all human, you know?
01:13:04.980 Yeah.
01:13:05.460 I thought being human would be easier.
01:13:07.080 No, no, because everyone's dealt like whatever cards are dealt.
01:13:12.820 And I think it's just like our cosmic lessons on Earth.
01:13:16.660 Yeah.
01:13:17.140 I think for some reason I felt like it would be easier.
01:13:19.880 I feel like it looks pretty good from from where I'm sitting.
01:13:25.640 Oh, thank you.
01:13:26.960 I didn't wash my hair two days ago.
01:13:28.840 I meant your life.
01:13:30.840 Oh, yeah.
01:13:32.160 Yeah.
01:13:32.220 No, my life is.
01:13:33.320 Yeah.
01:13:33.780 I think it doesn't matter.
01:13:34.880 It's always like what you are.
01:13:37.780 Yeah.
01:13:38.180 I don't know.
01:13:38.680 I felt like I always felt like if I got to a certain level of like doing well in my job
01:13:45.600 or maybe then I would then everything would be OK.
01:13:50.720 I think I had this preconceived notion in my head that like all these other things that
01:13:55.380 I worry about or feel or these discomforts will disappear.
01:13:58.700 So when I started to have some success and that didn't happen, I think I was like kind
01:14:03.980 of like there was a part of me I didn't even know this motor was running that expected this.
01:14:08.780 Yeah.
01:14:08.960 You know, and it was like, oh, you're still just, you know, with with your weights.
01:14:15.220 I think that's completely natural thought.
01:14:19.060 Like we're all looking for something to save us, whether it's like success, love, whatever
01:14:25.560 it is.
01:14:26.320 Yeah.
01:14:26.780 Botox orthotics.
01:14:29.180 Um, yeah, but I think like wealth and money and success really just brings out even more
01:14:37.140 of what is already there.
01:14:38.360 Yeah.
01:14:39.500 Um, I'm sure it makes a lot of other things easier.
01:14:42.840 Well, Mark Norman said it best about having a little bit of money.
01:14:45.160 Here's what makes easier.
01:14:45.960 If you are cold or something and you're at like a gas station or something, you don't
01:14:49.960 have to like, you know, you don't have to look at the price of the suite.
01:14:52.480 You're like, OK, I just can get this sweatshirt.
01:14:54.600 You know, like little things like that are kind of nicer.
01:14:56.780 Like, do I need like what?
01:14:58.800 How much is this lunch?
01:14:59.740 It's like it saves you a little bit of time and having to look at some price.
01:15:02.400 If it's something big like a car or something, you're going to look.
01:15:05.280 But like for, you know, it's like that kind of stuff is a little bit
01:15:08.220 nice.
01:15:08.540 You don't have to think about the cost of like, you know, really a meal maybe or
01:15:11.900 something, you know?
01:15:12.620 Yeah.
01:15:13.100 Those things are kind of a little bit nice to have to have happen maybe.
01:15:16.900 Um, so take me.
01:15:18.080 So I tried ketamine therapy was one thing that I tried like in the past seven months,
01:15:22.440 maybe.
01:15:23.080 How many times did you do it?
01:15:24.320 I did six times.
01:15:25.200 So it was six, six sessions.
01:15:26.740 Cool.
01:15:27.040 You sit with a therapist in a room and they fill you up and then you, you know, are talking
01:15:32.120 with this therapist, this psychiatrist the whole time.
01:15:35.600 Yeah.
01:15:35.860 So you're kind of going through things and like sharing and, um, I found that that was
01:15:40.540 really interesting.
01:15:41.220 I felt maybe for like trauma, like one specific trauma or something.
01:15:46.360 Did you go deep in that?
01:15:48.920 I was, sometimes I was off the wall.
01:15:51.020 I mean, I was like in another echelon.
01:15:53.980 Did you find it helpful?
01:15:55.720 I found it helpful.
01:15:56.940 Some, I got to have some moments like I got to spend time with my dad for like about 45
01:16:03.040 seconds, which was pretty cool.
01:16:05.260 Yeah.
01:16:05.500 That's really cool.
01:16:06.360 Yeah.
01:16:06.560 Just to let him know that I loved him.
01:16:08.060 I felt like he never knew maybe.
01:16:09.600 Wow.
01:16:10.200 And it felt real.
01:16:11.280 Like it felt as real as this sitting here talking to you.
01:16:14.160 Yeah.
01:16:14.180 That's really beautiful.
01:16:15.180 So to have something like that happen where it's like, um, I got to see my mom when she
01:16:19.520 was a little kid, which was pretty powerful.
01:16:22.020 I felt like, um, you know, uh, so they do like inner child work.
01:16:28.500 I don't know.
01:16:29.220 The dude had a big beard.
01:16:30.180 I know that was running it. 0.95
01:16:31.300 So I'm sure he's fucking definitely done some things, man. 0.99
01:16:34.040 This dude, he had one of those crazy fucking, you know, no, in your child. 0.99
01:16:38.300 Did you work with your inner child? 1.00
01:16:40.880 No, no, no.
01:16:41.620 We didn't see him.
01:16:42.840 We was more just doing like regular.
01:16:45.800 I feel like that's like a big direction that people are going in with therapy and healing
01:16:51.580 is just like going back to your inner child.
01:16:54.640 Yeah.
01:16:55.020 Cause they say like your entire subconscious blueprint for the rest of the, your life
01:17:00.540 is developed from zero to seven years old.
01:17:03.040 Wow.
01:17:03.480 So whatever goes down then is really like your whole framework, which is so crazy because
01:17:10.900 it's completely out of our control.
01:17:12.340 Yeah.
01:17:13.380 So.
01:17:15.380 Yeah.
01:17:16.140 Yeah.
01:17:16.460 I, I, I went to this other place called PCS for a week and it's like, um, like this
01:17:21.680 guy, Bobby Lee, this comedian recommended to me.
01:17:23.740 Do you know who that is?
01:17:25.080 So, and he's, I think Vietnamese or something, but he recommended it to me and he, um, uh,
01:17:32.180 that place is all about your inner child.
01:17:33.680 Like you got to go to build a bear and get like a little child.
01:17:36.300 Yeah. 0.99
01:17:36.620 So you're in there with like a bunch of, yeah, it's really, I've done shit like that. 0.98
01:17:39.920 It is so dicey. 0.98
01:17:40.760 We're in there.
01:17:41.280 There's like a bunch of, oh yeah.
01:17:43.100 There's like, there's like a bunch of grown men in this build a bear and there's like a
01:17:46.800 bunch of kids in there. 0.96
01:17:48.020 There's like a kid's party and we're fucking putting dresses and like, oh yeah, this one 0.99
01:17:52.680 will wear it. 0.98
01:17:53.020 It looked good in a baseball outfit.
01:17:54.360 Like, so then you're leaving the mall with your bears.
01:17:57.220 Like, oh, it's heartbreaking.
01:17:59.920 Yeah.
01:18:00.440 It is heartbreaking.
01:18:01.340 Wait, did you get a lot out of it?
01:18:01.740 And then somebody's like, dude, you're DL, you're my favorite comedian. 0.99
01:18:04.460 You're fucking buying a bear. 0.99
01:18:07.620 You're buying a bear, dude. 1.00
01:18:09.420 And this lady putting the stuffing in there, the one lady, her fucking gum, I remember 1.00
01:18:13.780 fell on the stuffing thing and she's like, it's just a nightmare in there. 0.99
01:18:18.440 Just a real, but it was kind of like how God does it. 0.97
01:18:21.140 It was like, you know, you got all this cotton and you're just fucking stuffing it into these 0.98
01:18:25.240 bears, dude. 0.98
01:18:26.140 And you're just sending them out the door, you know?
01:18:28.320 And sometimes there's some bad knitting.
01:18:30.280 Yeah. 0.99
01:18:30.580 No shit. 0.99
01:18:31.280 Yeah. 0.99
01:18:31.480 Did you, did you get a lot out of it or no?
01:18:34.260 It was pretty fast.
01:18:34.960 I, uh, some of it I did some EMDR.
01:18:37.040 I noticed I would be real judgmental going into some of the sessions, like just like,
01:18:42.120 um, you know, judgment is like something that keeps me, it's a, like a preventative
01:18:49.080 thing to keep me from connections.
01:18:51.140 And so I'm going to have to have some feelings or something.
01:18:53.420 So there was stuff like that.
01:18:55.100 Uh, it was kind of exhausting.
01:18:57.080 Some of the therapies, it was like some group stuff I didn't like, but there was some stuff
01:19:00.180 I really did like.
01:19:01.480 Yeah.
01:19:01.880 I find like that group stuff. 0.95
01:19:04.140 I mean, now I've worked on it and stuff, but like at first I was like, no fucking way.
01:19:10.080 I was like, I'm not talking about anything like in a group or in front of people, which 0.61
01:19:14.140 is so weird.
01:19:14.920 Cause like when I've been doing comedy, like I speak publicly in front of crowds all the
01:19:20.460 time. 0.97
01:19:20.720 But like when it was about serious shit, like, no, it took me a long time, but that ended 0.95
01:19:27.280 up being like the most healing thing for me. 0.98
01:19:30.200 Uh, doing group therapy.
01:19:31.960 It wasn't group therapy.
01:19:33.080 It's 12 step, uh, but I don't want to say that which one.
01:19:36.560 Right.
01:19:36.820 So like recovery.
01:19:37.800 Yeah.
01:19:38.040 Recovery.
01:19:38.760 Um, recovery, I feel like is the best overall solution that I've found.
01:19:41.900 Honestly, do you feel that way or no?
01:19:43.440 Totally.
01:19:44.040 And it ended up being because the community, cause like, you know, where I grew up, uh,
01:19:50.680 it's just, no one talks about mental health.
01:19:52.900 No one talks about anything like never heard any, no one talks about their problems.
01:19:58.620 Like it's very buttoned up and that's the way my family was too.
01:20:02.780 And I'm just the total opposite.
01:20:04.160 Like I'm very sensitive.
01:20:05.660 I feel a lot of things.
01:20:06.980 I'm interested in a lot of things.
01:20:08.300 Like I want to talk about things.
01:20:10.280 Um, and so when I got to recovery, like, and I, I remember when I first saw people I
01:20:15.920 knew cause it's LA and there's like a lot of people and entertainment in there, of course.
01:20:21.500 And I was like, I was trying to hide from them.
01:20:24.900 Like it didn't cross my mind that they're there too.
01:20:27.340 I was just like, Oh no, they're seeing me here.
01:20:31.040 Right.
01:20:31.180 You know, um, yeah.
01:20:33.000 I even think that way on zoom meetings sometimes.
01:20:34.880 Yeah.
01:20:35.540 I was on one yesterday.
01:20:36.280 I didn't want to show my face cause I'm like, Oh, you don't want to be, you don't want to
01:20:40.420 be like known in this private way.
01:20:43.820 So I didn't talk like the first couple of years, but then when I started talking is like
01:20:48.260 when I experienced a lot of, uh, progression.
01:20:53.000 And how was the, uh, ayahuasca?
01:20:54.840 Tell me about that experience.
01:20:55.900 Take me through that.
01:20:56.600 Uh, it was really cool.
01:20:58.740 I, uh, I'd wanted to do it forever.
01:21:00.640 I'm just like curious.
01:21:02.300 And, um, Ron White did it too recently.
01:21:04.640 Oh really?
01:21:04.960 Yeah. 0.99
01:21:05.140 He did it at a damn best Western in outside. 0.98
01:21:10.560 I want to say in Houston, near Houston. 0.98
01:21:12.440 Yeah.
01:21:12.840 Nobody tell my parents I did ayahuasca.
01:21:14.760 They really wouldn't like that.
01:21:15.880 Um, but, uh, I, after I got vaccinated, I did it.
01:21:20.880 I knew I was going to go back on the road.
01:21:22.400 And then I was like, what if I like fall in love and like get married and I probably,
01:21:28.660 and have children.
01:21:29.440 I'm not going to be able to like be a mom that goes and does DMT.
01:21:33.880 You know what I mean?
01:21:34.140 You got to do it now.
01:21:34.840 Yeah.
01:21:35.100 I got to do it now.
01:21:35.760 So I just saw like a window and it was really, the window came actually, uh, everyone had
01:21:41.180 always said like, don't do it in LA. 0.96
01:21:42.680 It's like sketchy white people, whatever. 0.97
01:21:44.740 I'd always want to go to the Amazon, but I was like, I don't see that. 0.93
01:21:46.860 Go to Memphis and do it, dude.
01:21:48.140 That's I'm sure a real dicey dose.
01:21:50.200 Yeah.
01:21:50.420 Um, okay.
01:21:51.220 Go on.
01:21:51.580 So I found like, uh, I had found like a tangible, someone had had a great experience.
01:21:56.360 And so I just went, I went by myself, which the day of when I was like driving to this
01:22:01.420 sketchy ass property, I was like, this might be a bad idea. 0.54
01:22:06.620 Was it off of Melrose? 0.98
01:22:07.780 No, it was like an hour outside of LA in a tiny farming town.
01:22:12.840 And I was like driving up to this like desolate property.
01:22:15.740 And I was like, this is a bad idea.
01:22:17.020 But I texted my friend, I was like three of my friends.
01:22:19.600 I was like, here's the address.
01:22:20.700 Check in at this time.
01:22:22.040 And immediately like their guardians, um, the men, when they said hello, they hugged you.
01:22:28.120 And I was like, I don't like this.
01:22:30.060 Yeah.
01:22:30.440 That's I do not like the forced over familiarity.
01:22:33.860 Like, I don't want you to hug me.
01:22:36.160 Two arm hug or one arm hug?
01:22:37.640 I do.
01:22:39.240 Oh, yeah.
01:22:40.520 Like, hello?
01:22:41.380 From a man? 0.89
01:22:42.020 Were they wearing jewelry?
01:22:42.860 When I was like this, um, there was some jewelry for sure.
01:22:46.900 But it ended up, I was like, I could.
01:22:49.920 If somebody with two arms and jewelry hugs you, dude, I'm calling the cops, dude.
01:22:54.440 Yeah, but I was like, I guess I'm in.
01:22:57.380 Like, I did the whole separation.
01:22:58.320 And it was just you by yourself?
01:22:59.960 It was me by myself.
01:23:01.160 No, dude.
01:23:02.620 How?
01:23:03.520 No, there was a huge group of people, but I didn't know anyone.
01:23:07.600 I never met those people.
01:23:08.420 Right, because I would feel like if you'd gone through, like, sexual trauma and then 1.00
01:23:11.600 you roll up to three dudes at a damn ranch. 1.00
01:23:13.860 Oh, no. 1.00
01:23:14.480 I would have. 1.00
01:23:15.140 Fuck it. 1.00
01:23:15.940 Get the fuck out. 1.00
01:23:17.360 I would have sprint. 1.00
01:23:18.640 I would sprint out of there.
01:23:21.180 You just roll up to just hitting a volleyball around you like this.
01:23:24.380 Yeah.
01:23:25.280 Hey, what's up?
01:23:26.240 We're here for round two.
01:23:28.340 No, like, I, I, uh, it was.
01:23:33.660 Sorry, I interrupted your story.
01:23:34.500 No, it's okay.
01:23:35.340 But it ended up being really, really cool.
01:23:37.900 Wow.
01:23:38.040 I had, you have to prepare so much, like, you can't, um, drink, smoke, like, I don't
01:23:45.160 smoke, but you can't, like, meet, caffeine, all these things, like, before.
01:23:49.520 So there's, like, a whole large preparation.
01:23:52.700 Um, and then, uh, I listened to podcasts and documentaries and basically they're all,
01:23:58.480 like, like, Aubrey Marcus and stuff. 0.98
01:24:00.940 And they're all sad, like, you're going to go to the darkest fucking place. 0.98
01:24:05.820 You're going to experience terror. 0.98
01:24:07.420 But then on the other side, you'll feel great.
01:24:10.080 And so I went in there, like, I was just like, it's just going to take me and I'm going to
01:24:14.840 go and I'm just going to hold on.
01:24:17.020 Whatever.
01:24:17.140 Your eye black on.
01:24:17.960 Yeah, yeah.
01:24:18.980 I was like.
01:24:19.380 Get a sharp tampon in. 0.99
01:24:20.160 Yeah, I was like, I can fucking do this. 0.98
01:24:22.460 And that was, like, the full opposite experience. 0.97
01:24:25.100 Really?
01:24:25.300 I got, I was taken to, like, a pink marshmallow jungle.
01:24:30.080 And, like, my message, because, like, you know, my thing has been learning to feel safe
01:24:34.340 in my body was, like, that the universe is kind, which sounds like a really, uh, anti-climatic
01:24:42.320 distillation, but, and trite.
01:24:45.600 But that's really, like, it went in me.
01:24:47.880 Yeah, that's good. 1.00
01:24:48.660 That's a cool, that's an amazing message to have in you, to have you in your fucking 0.99
01:24:52.060 marrow after that. 0.99
01:24:54.080 That's huge.
01:24:54.700 Yeah, but they also said they'd never heard someone cry like that.
01:24:57.520 Really?
01:24:58.160 Yeah.
01:24:58.620 And do you cry, like, on all fours?
01:25:00.440 Do you cry standing up?
01:25:01.420 Are you leaning against something?
01:25:02.660 Like, what is the vibe in there?
01:25:03.920 Um, they're, like, you have, sort of, like, the, you're on the ground with, like, these
01:25:09.800 padded chairs, and they're playing, um, you know, the Icarus, like, they're playing music
01:25:15.380 the whole time, and there's all these rituals, and it's very sacred, and all this stuff.
01:25:18.520 And is the AC on or not?
01:25:21.220 I don't, I think so, I'm not sure, I don't remember, but it was, it was really crazy.
01:25:27.980 I, I done much, the drug I like is mushrooms, that's really the only drug I do.
01:25:32.080 Um, and I'd never seen visuals before, like, this, I didn't know your brain could even see
01:25:42.640 those things.
01:25:43.920 Yeah.
01:25:44.380 Yeah.
01:25:45.180 It sounds like DM, like, something like DMT or something like that.
01:25:47.980 It is DMT, that's what I was saying.
01:25:49.060 Oh, it is, okay.
01:25:50.080 But from the Amazon, but, you know, for breath work, you can have a psychedelic experience
01:25:55.600 because we have a certain amount of DMT in our spinal fluid.
01:25:59.320 Mm.
01:25:59.780 Everyone does.
01:26:00.520 So, you can, through the alkalization of your blood, sometimes, like, I've had full
01:26:08.760 visuals during breath work before.
01:26:10.760 Wow.
01:26:11.260 Really?
01:26:12.260 Yeah.
01:26:13.520 I haven't had that yet.
01:26:14.340 Or, like, weird memories pop in where you're like, I haven't thought about that in 20 years,
01:26:19.320 or, or just, like, a solution just, like, pops into, like, something, and you're like,
01:26:26.180 why didn't I think about that before, you know?
01:26:28.000 Yeah.
01:26:29.280 Yeah, it is such a relief when you can kind of do something different with your brain.
01:26:32.920 I feel like some of my brain gets tired of just being on the road, you know?
01:26:36.220 I feel like your brain's all over the road.
01:26:36.920 The road is really exhausting and really hard on your body and spirit.
01:26:43.160 Yeah.
01:26:43.340 Especially if you're a really sensitive person to your environment.
01:26:48.660 Yeah.
01:26:48.960 I would believe that.
01:26:51.260 You ain't never done ayahuasca.
01:26:52.280 I met a guy at a smoothie shop in Maui that gave me some, he was a shaman.
01:26:59.380 Mm-hmm.
01:27:00.280 Or he had, I mean, he had sandals on, and he was out, you know, he was out, he was,
01:27:04.340 he definitely, he had a buddy with, like, he had a buddy who literally, it was, like,
01:27:07.840 standing with armfuls of vitamins.
01:27:09.960 And, uh, and they gave me a bunch of vitamins, and then the guy took me to, like, a, they
01:27:16.500 were doing, like, childcare, like, even at their house, and I'm in there just, like,
01:27:19.580 relax, and they had me relaxed out, and next thing you know, I'm out on the DMT.
01:27:23.060 Oh, you did DMT?
01:27:23.920 Yeah.
01:27:24.320 And it was really, that really blew my mind.
01:27:26.200 I can't even believe that that has ever even existed in the universe, and then that
01:27:29.760 can happen.
01:27:30.560 Wow.
01:27:31.040 I don't even know what, um, taking DMT would.
01:27:34.900 Probably be very similar to the ayahuasca experience, I bet.
01:27:37.380 It's really hardcore.
01:27:38.300 But what the purpose of it is, is the tough thing.
01:27:40.340 I don't really know exactly.
01:27:41.840 I would, like, that made me realize, you know, I've done mushrooms and stuff, but I
01:27:46.440 was, like, this was, like, a really sacred thing, and I was, like, I don't need to, in
01:27:51.700 my lifetime, be fucking around with, like, drugs outside of, like, this very controlled, 0.73
01:27:58.940 sacred environment. 0.96
01:28:00.600 For me, I don't have any judgment to other people, but.
01:28:03.600 How long were you at the ayahuasca place?
01:28:05.600 I was there for a weekend, and you take, um, three cups a night, but most people don't
01:28:11.400 get to the third cup, and each cup is a level one through ten, but it's completely arbitrary.
01:28:17.800 Like, a one could hit someone at a ten, and a ten could just be, like, not a big deal
01:28:22.560 for someone.
01:28:23.380 Oh, my God.
01:28:23.740 So, it's, like, yeah, you really have to be open to whatever experience, because you
01:28:30.040 never, you have no idea what's going to happen.
01:28:32.120 And do you, like, defecate yourself?
01:28:33.800 Are people wearing diapers and stuff? 0.94
01:28:35.240 Because I always heard a lot about, like, yeah, you, like, purge your body.
01:28:37.720 Are people vomiting and urinating and stuff? 0.62
01:28:39.860 Um, I did not shit my pants, thank you, Jesus.
01:28:43.720 Um, but I did throw up both nights.
01:28:46.220 It wasn't a big deal, like, it was really fast, and then they, the guardians come clear
01:28:51.280 the bucket really fast.
01:28:53.060 Um, I think some people do go to the bathroom. 0.99
01:28:56.060 I don't think people shit themselves. 0.94
01:28:58.400 The second night, I was, like, out of my body. 0.99
01:29:02.480 It was, like, it was so intense.
01:29:05.140 And are you, are there other people around?
01:29:07.700 Yeah, they're all around you.
01:29:08.920 You're in a really big circle.
01:29:10.140 It's, like, Vietnam, kind of?
01:29:10.760 Yeah, they're, like, people were on both sides, and they're, like, this.
01:29:14.560 And they have all the women on one side and all the men on one side, like. 0.97
01:29:17.800 And are people tickling each other and shit? 0.99
01:29:19.360 No, you're not allowed to touch anyone. 0.99
01:29:20.960 Oh, wow.
01:29:21.840 They, like, enforce everything so hard so that everyone's, like, safe.
01:29:25.380 And are there referees?
01:29:26.280 Is there a guy, like, roller, it reminds me, I'm getting, like, this vibe of, like,
01:29:28.920 a roller skating rink where the guy's, like, you know, there's some guy, like.
01:29:32.120 No.
01:29:32.480 No, it's not like that at all.
01:29:35.760 Like, they take it so seriously, and there's people taking care of anyone that needs to
01:29:39.900 be taken care of.
01:29:42.480 But, yeah, it's a whole experience.
01:29:45.640 You have to prepare so much.
01:29:47.000 It takes a lot out of you, like, spiritually and physically.
01:29:50.840 And, yeah.
01:29:51.660 Yeah.
01:29:52.720 Hmm.
01:29:55.440 How's comedy going?
01:29:56.380 Do you feel good about it?
01:29:57.240 How long have you been doing it now?
01:29:59.200 It's good.
01:30:01.140 I've been doing it.
01:30:01.540 I just didn't know what else to ask about it.
01:30:02.620 I've been doing it, like, a little over eight years.
01:30:05.360 Oh, that's awesome.
01:30:06.740 It's good.
01:30:07.640 Like, I'm, you know, booking stuff and starting to feel like I am on my way to success.
01:30:19.460 I just did a movie.
01:30:20.560 I'm on a new Comedy Central show.
01:30:23.280 Things are going well.
01:30:25.740 Yeah.
01:30:26.500 That's exciting. 0.96
01:30:27.240 It is, because I don't want to be fucking broke. 0.97
01:30:29.740 I want to be rich. 0.98
01:30:30.860 Yeah.
01:30:31.340 Yeah.
01:30:32.300 Yeah.
01:30:32.800 I mean, people want to be rich, man.
01:30:34.740 I mean, but what a better joy.
01:30:38.340 I mean, because I've been so experienced being broke for so long.
01:30:42.240 And, like, what a joy to have found a way to make money doing what you love.
01:30:50.540 Yeah.
01:30:50.860 Yeah, I mean, it's such a gift.
01:30:54.140 Like, I don't take it for granted at all.
01:30:56.580 Like, any paycheck I get, it's just, like, a miracle, because I'm having so much fun.
01:31:02.020 And I could have just quit on myself so early on in some marketing job.
01:31:07.700 Not that there's anything wrong with a marketing job.
01:31:10.060 It just wasn't right for my wild soul.
01:31:13.520 Right.
01:31:14.220 Yeah.
01:31:14.760 Yeah.
01:31:16.000 Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing a little bit of marketing.
01:31:17.680 I got a degree in urban planning.
01:31:20.860 Really?
01:31:21.480 Yeah.
01:31:21.980 Wow. 1.00
01:31:22.460 What do you fucking plan? 0.99
01:31:24.400 We could do, like, neighborhoods. 0.99
01:31:27.000 And, like, if, say, if, like, a mailman's coming, like, you know, then we design, like,
01:31:31.600 what route to take through the neighborhood.
01:31:33.500 Wow.
01:31:33.820 We do a lot of, like.
01:31:35.040 Like Sims.
01:31:36.460 Yeah, kind of like Sims, actually.
01:31:37.740 That's pretty good.
01:31:38.480 Yeah.
01:31:38.800 It's like Sims.
01:31:39.860 Yeah, Theo Sims.
01:31:40.680 Yeah.
01:31:41.580 Maybe that'd be, maybe I'll start a Theo Sims game.
01:31:45.080 But, yeah, I was doing, we do urban planning, where to put the power lines, where to put
01:31:49.980 the bike path.
01:31:51.180 We do all that.
01:31:52.260 How's comedy going for you?
01:31:54.020 We do all that.
01:31:54.920 It's going pretty good, I think, you know.
01:31:56.580 I'm doing a new tour right now, so I'm pretty excited about that.
01:31:59.800 With Ari?
01:32:01.480 Yep.
01:32:02.120 Ari Maness is out there sometimes, most of the time, actually.
01:32:05.220 Ari's a new friend of mine.
01:32:06.740 Oh, he is?
01:32:07.600 Yeah.
01:32:07.880 Oh, yeah, he's good.
01:32:08.720 He'll definitely be in, he'll be in recovery at some point.
01:32:12.040 But, uh, until then, man, you know, he just sometimes hears me on these Zoom meetings.
01:32:17.560 He's a wild dude.
01:32:18.520 Oh, yeah, he's one of a kind.
01:32:19.920 I mean, he is definitely something else.
01:32:21.640 I did his podcast.
01:32:22.760 Oh, you did?
01:32:23.560 Mm-hmm.
01:32:23.840 Oh, I hear, now I see.
01:32:26.580 Ari getting these guests first. 0.99
01:32:29.300 That's cool.
01:32:29.980 No, he's a sweetheart.
01:32:32.100 I'm lucky to have, you know, I feel lucky when I'm around him.
01:32:34.900 He makes things.
01:32:36.240 He's so, I mean, there's just, the guys, there's so many things about him.
01:32:39.840 Yeah, he's so wild, dude.
01:32:41.700 Yeah, he's definitely a real snake owner.
01:32:44.800 You know?
01:32:45.900 He's definitely, and that's not a euphemism, the guy owns snakes.
01:32:49.380 Ew.
01:32:50.060 So, yeah.
01:32:50.580 I didn't know that about him.
01:32:52.400 Yeah. 0.99
01:32:53.020 Ari, if you see this, that's fucking nasty. 1.00
01:32:55.780 Yeah. 1.00
01:32:56.820 Yeah, yeah.
01:32:57.560 He knows it is.
01:32:58.480 I think that's why he does it.
01:32:59.440 All right, I'm praying for you, Ari.
01:33:01.000 You need it.
01:33:01.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:33:03.660 He does need it.
01:33:05.920 Blair Saki, I appreciate it.
01:33:07.280 Thanks for coming and chatting with me and hanging out.
01:33:08.900 Yeah, for sure.
01:33:09.820 It was really fun to talk to you outside of Breathwork.
01:33:13.400 I know.
01:33:13.660 It's crazy because we only talk to each other on Zoom.
01:33:15.440 Yeah.
01:33:16.160 Yeah.
01:33:18.000 Yeah, it's so crazy.
01:33:20.100 That's how you talk to someone on Zoom.
01:33:23.240 Yeah, because I don't really know you, but I know one specific little intimate part.
01:33:28.740 Right, that I like to breathe deep.
01:33:31.320 Yeah.
01:33:32.720 Here's what's fascinating.
01:33:33.520 See, if you've never done this, the lesson you give, I mean, I have to inhale and exhale
01:33:38.660 for about 25 minutes.
01:33:40.900 Like about 30, and it's really-
01:33:43.140 It's rigorous.
01:33:44.280 It's really, really hard.
01:33:46.120 I was telling Colin that I experience more resistance to doing it than working out.
01:33:52.340 Yeah.
01:33:52.560 Like I would rather work out than do it because it's so hard to get, to make yourself do that
01:33:58.600 consistent rhythm for 30 minutes.
01:34:00.760 Yeah.
01:34:01.160 It's really hard.
01:34:02.960 Yeah, I'm trying to think.
01:34:03.660 So this is how I was doing it just so you, because I was like, do I need to speed it up
01:34:10.860 or does it matter?
01:34:12.280 No, you're supposed to go at your own pace.
01:34:13.980 The way that I teach the class, I've told you this, but it starts out slow and gets faster.
01:34:19.720 Okay, yeah.
01:34:20.500 And then, you know, you do it.
01:34:21.700 Because I do hear you say, 5% more, let's get 5% more, guys. 0.98
01:34:23.940 Then I'm like on a fucking Peloton side of the way. 0.96
01:34:25.680 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98
01:34:26.380 What's going on, you know?
01:34:28.860 That doesn't mean faster or harder, but it's more into your stomach.
01:34:32.680 And then, like, you experience the Shavasana portion where you just rest and, like, feel
01:34:40.880 it, all the work you just did, like, coursing through your body.
01:34:43.660 It's so cool.
01:34:44.540 Oh, yeah.
01:34:45.040 I feel it up in here.
01:34:46.280 Yeah. 1.00
01:34:46.940 I feel that shit ripping. 0.99
01:34:48.940 Yeah, or, like, if you have physical ailments, like, it can be really cool for that. 1.00
01:34:54.060 Oh, it feels like fucking a bunch of heavy monkeys are pulling on my veins, dude. 1.00
01:34:58.440 Shit feels intense. 1.00
01:34:59.520 Yeah, it's wild. 1.00
01:35:00.400 It's wild.
01:35:02.440 Awesome.
01:35:02.940 Well, if you want to check it out with Blair, we'll put a link.
01:35:04.780 Do you do that for people?
01:35:06.140 Or are you kind of just in a safe world doing it for comedians that you want?
01:35:09.900 Well, I'll randomly do, like, a virtual class, which I am doing this coming Tuesday.
01:35:14.840 But I don't know if it'll be out by then.
01:35:16.700 Okay, cool.
01:35:17.240 But if not, they can follow you and they can figure out where to take your classes sometimes?
01:35:20.460 Yeah, if I do do one, I'll post about it.
01:35:23.100 Okay, good.
01:35:23.660 Yeah.
01:35:24.740 Cool.
01:35:25.180 Blair Saki, best of luck with comedy and stuff.
01:35:26.880 It's so nice to meet you.
01:35:27.680 Yeah, thank you.
01:35:28.400 Thanks for having me.
01:35:29.140 This was really fun.
01:35:30.400 I'm just floating on the breeze.
01:35:32.900 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
01:35:35.880 I must be cornerstone.
01:35:41.100 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.
01:35:45.860 I found I can feel it in my bones.
01:35:50.000 But it's going to take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind.
01:36:02.420 Shine that light on me.
01:36:06.280 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club.
01:36:33.120 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
01:36:40.880 The answer may shock you.
01:36:42.620 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.
01:36:44.680 Sometimes I won't.
01:36:45.540 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
01:36:49.040 You have three new voice messages.
01:36:52.220 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.
01:36:55.220 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.
01:36:57.880 Longer than anybody else.
01:36:59.560 So great.
01:37:00.140 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.
01:37:19.520 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:37:23.840 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:37:28.080 Third rule.
01:37:29.020 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
01:37:31.760 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:37:33.800 And yes, don't worry.
01:37:35.140 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.