This Past Weekend with Theo Von

00:00:00.000 Welcome to the show today, guys. I want to let you know that I have some tour dates.

00:00:05.020 If you want to see me in live, in the live space, visual, real-time, they call it IRL.

00:00:12.720 Jacksonville, Florida, February 2nd, I'll be there.

00:00:16.040 St. Petersburg, Florida, February 3rd.

00:00:19.340 Orlando, Florida, February 5th.

00:00:22.520 Lafayette, Indiana, February 24th.

00:00:24.780 Rockford, Illinois, February 25th.

00:00:26.820 Chicago, Illinois, February 26th.

00:00:31.000 Tulsa, Oklahoma, oh, that's sold out now, May 6th.

00:00:34.080 We may add one there.

00:00:35.760 And then Los Angeles, California at the Wiltern, May 7th.

00:00:39.960 That is all Return of the Rat Tour.

00:00:42.580 You can grab those tickets or on sale now, theovon.com slash tour.

00:00:47.880 Today's guest is a comedian and a licensed breathwork teacher.

00:00:53.080 I've been taking classes with her, and I'm really excited that she's here.

00:00:58.000 Miss Blair Saki.

00:01:00.420 Shine that light on me

00:01:05.140 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:01:11.100 Shine on me

00:01:15.840 And I will find a song

00:01:20.060 I've been singing just for me

00:01:23.420 And now I've been moving

00:01:29.660 Blair Sochi, Sochi?

00:01:31.400 Saki.

00:01:32.160 Saki, dang.

00:01:32.980 Like the drink.

00:01:34.600 Oh, wow.

00:01:35.700 It's not intuitive, don't worry.

00:01:37.780 What do you mean intuitive?

00:01:39.320 Like, you would think it's Sochi.

00:01:42.220 You know what I mean?

00:01:43.240 Oh, so I shouldn't feel bad since I didn't get it right.

00:01:45.640 Yeah.

00:01:45.660 Mm-hmm.

00:01:46.100 Yeah.

00:01:47.140 Yeah, I guess I always in my head have been calling you Blair Sochi.

00:01:50.920 Yeah, whatever you want.

00:01:52.060 Yeah?

00:01:52.940 Mm-hmm.

00:01:53.800 Yeah, it's good.

00:01:54.620 I think I could see you being either one.

00:01:57.600 Yeah, some of my best friends don't even know how it's pronounced.

00:02:00.140 I don't really care.

00:02:01.460 Yeah.

00:02:04.480 So I know you through breathwork.

00:02:09.600 I know you do stand-up comedy, right?

00:02:11.640 Mm-hmm.

00:02:11.820 But then a friend of mine turned me on to you recently about doing breathwork.

00:02:17.740 Yeah.

00:02:17.980 And I didn't know anything about it.

00:02:20.020 And so I was like, well, what is it, you know?

00:02:22.800 Mm-hmm.

00:02:23.240 So what is it?

00:02:25.700 Okay.

00:02:26.900 Well, yeah, I started breathwork sort of at the beginning of the pandemic.

00:02:30.720 Uh, I just love, I love learning.

00:02:33.740 I'm like a really curious person.

00:02:35.440 And I took a few classes and sort of my mind was blown.

00:02:40.020 Uh, and then later on I, I took a course, a certification course just because I wanted

00:02:45.880 to learn more about it.

00:02:47.380 I never, ever thought I would teach it or use it or anything.

00:02:50.160 Um, but basically it's like holotropic breathing and, um.

00:02:56.200 Holotropic?

00:02:56.820 Yeah.

00:02:57.480 And it's like a two.

00:02:58.400 Can you move this, you move your mic down just a little bit so it's not in front of your

00:03:00.380 face.

00:03:00.800 Yeah.

00:03:01.180 Oh, okay.

00:03:01.720 Is that better?

00:03:02.340 Can you see or is that okay?

00:03:03.480 Okay.

00:03:04.060 Uh, and it's like a two part, it's a two part technique as you know, through the mouth

00:03:09.300 and, uh, you breathe deeply into the belly and then a chest breath on top and then,

00:03:15.400 um, you know, uh, easy exhale.

00:03:17.720 Okay, so I go, so it's inhale through the mouth.

00:03:22.060 Yeah, all through the mouth.

00:03:23.360 Nothing through the nose.

00:03:24.300 Okay.

00:03:25.520 So stomach and then chest, then exhale.

00:03:30.020 Yeah.

00:03:30.520 Yeah.

00:03:31.120 And then you just try to keep a rhythm through the whole thing and it just, um, you know,

00:03:36.580 it alkalizes your blood in a different way, uh, than you're used to and all sorts of crazy

00:03:44.540 shit happens.

00:03:45.340 So do you know what happens?

00:03:47.200 Because the first time that we did it, you and I did it yesterday.

00:03:50.340 We've done three sessions now.

00:03:51.920 And, um, and thank you for that.

00:03:53.900 It's been really interesting.

00:03:55.620 Yeah, dog.

00:03:56.400 Uh, the yesterday.

00:03:58.980 Yeah.

00:03:59.240 My hands, everything gets real hard.

00:04:01.580 Right.

00:04:01.820 You know, like I can't even like move my hands.

00:04:04.820 It almost feels like, um, um, like if you see a dead body or something, you know?

00:04:10.680 They call it lobster claws.

00:04:12.060 It's tetany.

00:04:12.920 And it's just because, you know, there's a different amount of CO2 in your blood than usual.

00:04:19.620 It's called tetany?

00:04:20.660 Yeah.

00:04:21.140 Can you pull that up?

00:04:21.780 From your usual, uh, breathing.

00:04:25.180 Okay.

00:04:25.600 Yeah.

00:04:25.800 So it's a big difference in how much CO2 is in your body than your regular state of breathing.

00:04:30.440 And so your hands go like that, but it's not, nothing is wrong with that.

00:04:34.740 There's nothing that's going to happen.

00:04:36.760 And is it poisonous?

00:04:37.520 Because we used to sleep at my buddy Jeff's house and they had a, uh, CO2 leak, I guess,

00:04:43.280 in his house or something.

00:04:44.300 And we would sleep for like literally 36 hours every day.

00:04:47.800 That's really, I'm glad you're still alive.

00:04:50.020 Yeah.

00:04:50.340 Um.

00:04:50.880 Yeah, yeah, definitely.

00:04:51.960 He's alive also.

00:04:53.960 That's really good.

00:04:55.420 But is that, that's, is that CO2?

00:04:58.140 Is that?

00:04:59.540 No, that's, I mean, that's an external CO2 gas.

00:05:03.800 Okay.

00:05:04.260 This is just produced within your body.

00:05:06.380 So you're safe.

00:05:07.880 But you know, like if it is, it is sometimes a sign that you're going too hard, like you're

00:05:13.260 being too forceful, especially on the exhale, like.

00:05:17.060 If you get too much of the tetany in you?

00:05:18.720 Yeah, yeah.

00:05:19.720 Okay.

00:05:19.980 So let's bring it up.

00:05:20.660 I just want to be able to see what it is.

00:05:22.300 Just so I'm, there you go.

00:05:24.840 If you have experienced cosmic breath work, you may have experienced tetany.

00:05:28.180 Tetany is characterized by cramping, tightening, tingling, paralyzing, or numbing sensations

00:05:34.320 of the hands and or feet and even the face.

00:05:36.900 Oh, wow.

00:05:37.660 So yeah, I do remember now my face got, and my neck started to feel a little bit like

00:05:41.500 hard and tight.

00:05:42.440 Yeah.

00:05:42.840 If this does occur during cosmic breath work, note that it is very common and should not

00:05:46.900 be feared.

00:05:47.520 But what's happening?

00:05:48.600 What's causing it?

00:05:49.480 It's just like a dramatic increase of CO2 into your butt, but I don't mind it.

00:05:55.200 Like when I'm doing breath work, I just know, I kind of like it cause I know it's working.

00:05:59.340 It's sort of like when you're at the gym and you know.

00:06:03.220 You feel like Botox, like a little.

00:06:05.240 Yeah.

00:06:05.700 I mean, what I just, what I love about it is I just didn't even know that your body could

00:06:10.660 feel these ways or that you could get to this stage just from breathing.

00:06:15.280 Right.

00:06:15.580 Like I feel high after, like, I don't know, well, I don't know how many drugs you've done,

00:06:21.600 but like it feels high.

00:06:23.720 Like it's really good.

00:06:25.420 Yeah.

00:06:25.800 I've done it.

00:06:26.360 I've done it almost.

00:06:27.220 I haven't done crack.

00:06:28.060 I've never, I have never done crack.

00:06:30.480 I always, honestly, I always wanted to smoke crack, but.

00:06:33.300 I've never wanted to, but who knows?

00:06:35.360 But I've never smoked crack before, but some of my buddy said, but I've never gotten into

00:06:40.620 it, you know?

00:06:41.960 That's cool.

00:06:42.860 But anyway, yeah.

00:06:43.460 So, so yeah.

00:06:44.040 Cause I, I didn't realize that.

00:06:45.480 So you're, but yeah, I did feel after yesterday, I felt really high.

00:06:48.800 I just felt really like, I don't know what I felt like.

00:06:54.160 I definitely felt altered, like an, in an altered state.

00:06:56.780 Yeah.

00:06:57.180 And the first time I did it, I mean, I just like it, I don't know what happened.

00:07:02.780 That was different the first time, but it literally, like I was at the end, like balling,

00:07:07.180 like, just like there was such a release of like, um, I don't know.

00:07:11.860 What is that?

00:07:12.400 What happens?

00:07:13.500 Well, Colin and I were talking about it before and he was saying he cries every time.

00:07:18.720 And it's like, you can go into a session feeling great and then it'll unlock something just

00:07:25.800 like the energy, whatever, you know, hurt or, uh, pain is in your body that you're not

00:07:32.120 even aware of your conscious mind.

00:07:34.480 Um, so I cry a lot of times when I do it and it's just like, every time I'm so surprised.

00:07:40.660 Um, it's crazy.

00:07:42.180 Yeah.

00:07:42.680 I remember the first time I did it.

00:07:44.040 I, yeah, I was like, and then I had to go to breakfast after with somebody.

00:07:47.720 And so I was like, and I kept moving the breakfast back like 15 minutes.

00:07:51.020 I'm literally sitting in my hotel room.

00:07:52.580 And like, and I just like, I just couldn't help but it's had all of these feelings and

00:07:57.180 everything was so like raw.

00:07:59.160 It just felt like it's like raw meat.

00:08:01.160 Totally.

00:08:01.680 You know?

00:08:02.000 Yeah.

00:08:02.340 And then I had to go on Jocko Willink, who's like a Navy SEAL guy to do his podcast that day.

00:08:07.180 And I walk in there like the complete opposite of a Navy SEAL.

00:08:12.000 Like I was like, I was, oh, it was very, it was a tough day to be in front of like the

00:08:18.880 toughest guys.

00:08:19.840 I think I told you that though.

00:08:21.300 Like expect to be really raw after.

00:08:23.700 I mean, sometimes the sessions aren't that deep.

00:08:26.020 Like I'll have one and I'll, I'll be like really wanting to have some deep like excavating

00:08:32.260 experience.

00:08:32.880 And it's just not that, but then sometimes it really fucking hits you.

00:08:37.460 Yeah.

00:08:38.020 It blew my mind.

00:08:38.960 I didn't know that something like that could happen.

00:08:40.960 I didn't know.

00:08:42.900 It just shocked me.

00:08:44.060 I didn't know that, that, that much of you could have that much of a release.

00:08:48.860 Yeah.

00:08:49.060 I didn't know it either.

00:08:50.320 I was stunned.

00:08:51.640 What, uh, what led you to even want to learn about it?

00:08:54.960 Uh, well, one, I'm just a really curious person.

00:08:58.940 I love trying new things, especially, uh, you know, with my body or spirituality or, you

00:09:07.960 know, healing or wellness.

00:09:10.160 Um, as I get older, I take a lot better care of myself, especially with comedy and traveling

00:09:15.220 so much and everything.

00:09:17.540 Um, but yeah, I started reading a book.

00:09:20.280 Uh, it's a famous one called the body keeps score.

00:09:22.900 And it's basically the premise is about how trauma is stored in our bodies.

00:09:27.920 And so when I kept getting recommended breath work, because you bypass your conscious mind,

00:09:34.460 like I've been in talk therapy forever.

00:09:36.680 Yeah.

00:09:36.880 So it's, it's not good a lot of times.

00:09:38.600 Well, it's just like you're, a lot of times you're not getting like, you can talk about

00:09:42.340 things without feeling anything.

00:09:45.200 Oh, interesting.

00:09:46.380 Yeah.

00:09:46.900 And the feeling part is what makes you able to pass through something.

00:09:51.820 I agree.

00:09:52.920 I need to have the feelings about things.

00:09:54.320 So it's like when someone's giving me information that never helps me.

00:09:57.440 It's like my therapist where I work best with therapists that are able to like trick me

00:10:01.100 into having a moment where I have a feeling and then it's like, oh, yeah.

00:10:04.640 And then you can move through it.

00:10:06.020 Right.

00:10:06.440 Yeah.

00:10:07.220 We don't even realize how much we avoid feeling feelings.

00:10:10.880 And so like, I think that's another part of breath work.

00:10:13.880 It's like, we're always on our fucking phones.

00:10:15.500 We're always doing shit.

00:10:16.580 Like, especially now.

00:10:17.560 Yeah.

00:10:17.960 Or feelings like Sasquatches now.

00:10:20.560 Yeah.

00:10:20.720 It's crazy.

00:10:21.820 It's like, wow, I think I had a feeling.

00:10:23.520 What do you see?

00:10:23.980 Any pictures of it?

00:10:24.860 Right.

00:10:25.220 And it's just in the distance like that.

00:10:27.540 I think also there's like an element of panic around it because we do so little of it.

00:10:33.700 Right.

00:10:33.880 A lot of times.

00:10:34.940 Yeah.

00:10:35.120 It's crazy how quickly we're getting away from like the things that are very human.

00:10:39.080 Yeah.

00:10:39.440 And then how almost alarmed we are when they come up.

00:10:42.480 Yeah.

00:10:42.800 And then how we create so many medicines and everything to like keep them at bay.

00:10:48.940 Right.

00:10:49.340 Like whether it's like antidepressants or even like all the women are on like that little

00:10:56.640 birth control nugget or whatever nowadays.

00:10:59.220 You know, so it's like everybody, you know, it's like, uh, so it's anything that has like,

00:11:04.400 it's a natural thing.

00:11:05.640 We have like, oh, we gotta, I'm really aware of it now, like that I've gotten into mindfulness

00:11:11.460 and I meditate a lot.

00:11:12.920 I'm really into meditation and, um, I will be like, oh, I'm reaching for my phone sometimes.

00:11:19.020 And it's not because I actually intentionally want to go on my phone.

00:11:23.800 It's just habit and avoidance and like not wanting to sit and be present or silent or

00:11:30.340 bored, you know?

00:11:32.180 Yeah.

00:11:32.680 It's gotten so addictive.

00:11:33.920 Um, I noticed it too.

00:11:35.300 I just started really getting into meditation pretty good.

00:11:37.320 I think about the past three weeks I've been doing really well with it.

00:11:39.880 Oh, that's great.

00:11:40.320 And I noticed like a little moment.

00:11:42.600 There's like, it's like a, a millisecond between me doing something and me real realizing

00:11:49.960 that I'm doing something.

00:11:50.920 It's just like, there's a little bit of realization in there.

00:11:53.180 Right.

00:11:53.580 Like, oh, like, why are you like, what are you doing right now?

00:11:56.280 Right.

00:11:56.840 And it's just, God, it's almost such a relief because for so long I've just been doing and

00:12:03.020 almost don't even like just reactive.

00:12:04.980 Everything feels so reactive.

00:12:06.400 Yeah.

00:12:06.820 It's, it's so much doing instead of just being.

00:12:09.860 Yeah.

00:12:10.420 Well, it sounds fucking trite, but it's true.

00:12:13.480 Yeah.

00:12:14.160 Um, so where do you start comedy?

00:12:15.960 You started in?

00:12:17.820 I started in New York.

00:12:18.720 Oh, you did?

00:12:19.380 Yeah.

00:12:19.500 So you're a New York City person?

00:12:20.920 Yeah.

00:12:21.360 Okay.

00:12:21.720 Well, I'm from Orange County, California.

00:12:24.240 Oh, damn.

00:12:25.380 Y'all pretty rich.

00:12:27.400 Um, I hope to be more rich.

00:12:30.380 Were your folks pretty well off?

00:12:31.620 Um, they did well.

00:12:32.940 Yeah.

00:12:33.560 Yeah.

00:12:33.900 What kind of jobs did they have?

00:12:35.420 Um, my dad is in real estate.

00:12:38.100 Oh, nice.

00:12:39.160 Yeah.

00:12:39.500 And my mom, uh, took care of us.

00:12:42.260 Yeah?

00:12:42.700 Yeah.

00:12:43.060 Were they, oh, she got to be a stay-at-home mom?

00:12:44.920 Yeah.

00:12:45.320 Oh, that's cool.

00:12:47.120 Yeah.

00:12:47.680 That's pretty cool.

00:12:48.580 Were they like an orange, like was the, like, because sometimes you think about those,

00:12:51.580 oh, the Orange County couple, you know, or like the, people get fancy down there kind

00:12:56.120 of, you know, it's just like some of the areas, you know, Newport and stuff, it gets

00:12:59.000 kind of fancy.

00:13:00.240 Um, my, my parents, like, my parents didn't grow up with money.

00:13:03.640 They're, they work really hard.

00:13:06.000 They're really hard workers.

00:13:07.520 Uh, but yeah, it could be like that.

00:13:09.120 It's a strange place.

00:13:10.040 I didn't quite understand until I moved away what it really, I mean, I just grew up surfing

00:13:15.400 and playing volleyball.

00:13:16.660 That was like really my life.

00:13:18.780 Yeah.

00:13:19.260 Yeah.

00:13:19.980 Um, and so at what point did you kind of think about comedy or like what kind of led you

00:13:25.000 to maybe, did you know when you were younger that you had that ability?

00:13:29.020 Like what, where does it come from for you?

00:13:31.480 Yeah.

00:13:31.740 Well, I'm the youngest and only girl.

00:13:34.080 I have older brothers and they had like a million friends and I, my family is like hyper

00:13:40.240 masculine.

00:13:40.860 Like just the way I grew up was like hunting, fishing, like sports.

00:13:46.100 And so that was like sort of my currency to just be a really good athlete and funny to

00:13:52.880 have any value in the family.

00:13:55.620 Right.

00:13:56.140 Yeah.

00:13:56.500 Yeah.

00:13:56.940 Yeah.

00:13:56.960 Sometimes you create funny cause it's like, Oh, I need to have some sort of value.

00:14:00.540 Yeah.

00:14:00.920 To even be allowed to share air with my older brothers.

00:14:05.900 Wow.

00:14:06.480 Yeah.

00:14:06.900 And you know, they were so fucking cool and surfing and skating and like, uh, great athletes

00:14:13.500 and yeah.

00:14:14.500 And they tall too?

00:14:15.920 Yeah.

00:14:16.400 Oh, my parents are like these Adonis people too.

00:14:22.600 They're like very hot, incredible shape.

00:14:25.900 Yeah.

00:14:26.300 It was like a nightmare to even be like a little ugly at any point in my life.

00:14:32.240 Yeah.

00:14:32.680 They have fucking abs now.

00:14:34.380 Oh my.

00:14:35.000 Now.

00:14:35.580 And they're in their sixties.

00:14:36.140 Wow.

00:14:36.680 Yeah.

00:14:36.800 I mean, it's that level.

00:14:38.680 That's wild.

00:14:39.660 Yeah.

00:14:39.920 And did y'all live in like Newport or something around there?

00:14:41.700 No, we didn't live in Newport.

00:14:43.200 We lived in, um, San Juan Capistrano area.

00:14:45.740 Oh yeah.

00:14:46.000 That's pretty.

00:14:46.480 Some of us, the train goes by there.

00:14:48.120 Yeah.

00:14:48.660 Yeah.

00:14:48.800 And it looks really nice.

00:14:49.620 Or by San Clemente, is that right?

00:14:51.580 Yeah.

00:14:51.840 Yeah.

00:14:52.100 Some of them, I see the train when it goes by there.

00:14:53.840 It's like, I always want to get off right there.

00:14:55.920 It just seemed like a nice little, like kind of romantic spot or something.

00:14:59.400 It is.

00:14:59.780 It's beautiful.

00:15:01.300 Um, so then, so you, you go to school down there.

00:15:04.380 And then when did you start doing standup?

00:15:07.320 Uh, so I started in my mid, I, well, I went to, uh, New York for grad school to be a novelist.

00:15:16.440 Oh, really?

00:15:17.120 I didn't ever know that I was going to start comedy.

00:15:19.540 There was no intention.

00:15:20.800 I had, I didn't see my first comedy show until I was 25.

00:15:25.080 Uh, I had never been exposed to comedy.

00:15:28.800 Orange County is not like a cultural hotbed in any way.

00:15:33.920 That's just like, wasn't in my sphere.

00:15:37.040 Um, and I started dating a dude right before I left for New York.

00:15:41.960 White guy?

00:15:43.940 Yes.

00:15:44.860 Why?

00:15:46.160 Oh, I don't know.

00:15:46.780 Trying to get some idea of who the guy is.

00:15:48.540 You know, I just don't want to.

00:15:49.640 I bet you're briefly, you're probably, uh, aware of who he is, but, um.

00:15:55.060 Oh, okay.

00:15:55.560 So be a comedian guy.

00:15:56.880 Yeah.

00:15:57.300 Oh, she started dating a comedian and he got you into it.

00:15:59.480 But he wasn't really a comedian yet.

00:16:01.040 He had just like started open mics, but he basically like introduced me to comedy.

00:16:06.160 And then I moved to New York.

00:16:07.200 We broke up and, um, I was interviewing comedians cause I was a writer.

00:16:12.060 And just like one day, like six months later, I was interviewing Michael Che.

00:16:16.960 I was his first inner piece of press ever.

00:16:19.480 And like, I was asking these questions that in hindsight were someone who wanted to start,

00:16:26.000 but my brain hadn't told me that.

00:16:27.680 Oh, you didn't realize that.

00:16:28.700 Yeah.

00:16:29.000 And then like a couple of days later in the shower, I had the thought and then I just started.

00:16:33.260 And you just started where?

00:16:34.060 Did you take a class?

00:16:34.860 Did you go to a, um.

00:16:36.500 I took a class, which they don't teach you anything.

00:16:39.160 It's basically the only benefit is that no one else in there has done it.

00:16:42.920 And so you're not afraid of looking fucking dumb.

00:16:45.460 And you're doing it.

00:16:46.300 You're going to a place each week and doing it.

00:16:50.440 So there's a lot of value in that.

00:16:52.060 And at the graduation of the class, did you, was it one where you guys got up on stage at

00:16:55.500 the end?

00:16:55.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:56.420 It was at Gotham.

00:16:58.140 And it just sort of was like an immediate thing.

00:17:00.640 And I was like, oh, this is it.

00:17:02.620 I still finished my master's degree because I didn't know it was going to end up being my

00:17:07.020 career.

00:17:07.940 Just like lit money on fire.

00:17:10.320 But, um.

00:17:11.200 And you were living in New York City?

00:17:12.500 Yeah.

00:17:13.200 Wow.

00:17:13.680 Yeah.

00:17:14.280 And were you partying pretty hard?

00:17:15.420 What's the part?

00:17:15.840 I mean, it must have been pretty sick, right?

00:17:17.480 Yeah, it was.

00:17:18.340 It was really cool.

00:17:19.400 And just like at that point, you know, in New York, it's such a good place to start.

00:17:24.380 Everyone says it's not because you want to start in like a small market.

00:17:28.720 But there was so much stage time.

00:17:30.700 Like all my friends, we would just be like drinking, going to a bunch of mics.

00:17:33.820 And it was really fucking fun.

00:17:36.420 And did you feel like it was male dominated?

00:17:38.920 Did you feel like it was like, what do you think about that kind of stuff when people,

00:17:43.300 because there's a lot of, some women I think use that as like a, or some people use like

00:17:48.080 their, whatever their thing that's different about them as like a, we, we're not, there's

00:17:53.040 not enough of us represented.

00:17:54.320 Does it feel like a male dominated business to you?

00:17:56.380 I mean, it is a male dominated business, but that just never really crossed my mind because

00:18:01.160 I felt right at home given the way I grew up.

00:18:04.140 And I never felt intimidated.

00:18:05.920 Right, you grew up in a male dominated business.

00:18:07.160 Oh my God.

00:18:07.840 Yeah.

00:18:08.220 I was like, I'm thriving right now.

00:18:10.580 Like I never, I was not intimidated by any, I was like, oh, like I'm going to be afraid

00:18:16.740 of this fucking dork.

00:18:17.760 Right.

00:18:18.080 I was like, they were a virgin until they were 22.

00:18:22.140 I don't fucking care, you know?

00:18:24.620 But I love them.

00:18:25.640 Yeah.

00:18:25.860 I loved it.

00:18:26.400 I love the whole thing.

00:18:27.560 And like, I loved being around so many different types of people that I was not around growing

00:18:33.240 up.

00:18:33.660 Yeah.

00:18:34.380 Yeah.

00:18:35.000 Oh yeah.

00:18:35.500 I bet.

00:18:35.820 Yeah.

00:18:36.040 You know, in New York, you get in any of the big cities, you get like all types.

00:18:40.100 Yeah.

00:18:40.540 Yeah.

00:18:40.740 Cause I really started out here kind of in Los Angeles.

00:18:42.780 So.

00:18:43.360 Oh, you did.

00:18:44.080 Yeah.

00:18:44.280 So I think I can relate to that.

00:18:45.640 Like just, there's so many different types of people come passing through and like, you

00:18:49.860 see so many people that start out, they start and then they get into something else or it's

00:18:53.560 like, you see so many people's little career paths kind of deter here and there.

00:18:57.060 You know, my hair is falling out.

00:18:59.400 I swear.

00:18:59.940 I saw some of it the other day.

00:19:01.020 I saw a damn, a bunch of it on the sink and it formed a little eyebrow and took off

00:19:05.960 left for somewhere.

00:19:07.740 Who knows?

00:19:08.120 Probably Persia.

00:19:08.800 Two out of three men will experience some form of hair loss by the time they are 35.

00:19:15.140 Dear God, dear God, this is happening.

00:19:19.620 There are only two FDA approved medications that can prevent hair loss and keeps offers

00:19:25.920 both of them.

00:19:27.900 Keeps.

00:19:29.460 It's stress free way to keep your hair.

00:19:32.220 It's a pill.

00:19:32.780 Low cost treatment started just 10 bucks a month.

00:19:35.820 Keeps offers generic versions as well.

00:19:41.420 You don't want that top shelf stuff.

00:19:43.000 You want that low, that, you know, that mid-grade hair keeper.

00:19:47.280 Prevention is key.

00:19:48.280 Treatments can take four to six months to see results.

00:19:50.940 So act fast.

00:19:52.400 If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, real hair loss, go to keeps.com

00:19:59.460 slash Theo to receive your first month of treatment for free.

00:20:03.300 That's K-E-E-P-S dot com slash T-H-E-O to get your first month free.

00:20:09.900 Keeps.com slash Theo.

00:20:11.700 You might want to save money.

00:20:13.020 People want to save money.

00:20:13.980 You see people a lot of times have money under their house.

00:20:18.940 You know, you'll see somebody, a burglar, go under there sometime.

00:20:21.580 You'll see a burglar under your house.

00:20:23.980 And he's looking for your money.

00:20:25.400 Well, you can save money by switching to Mint Mobile.

00:20:29.500 It's the easiest way to save this year.

00:20:33.000 It's the easiest.

00:20:33.680 You can't name 70 easier ways to save money.

00:20:38.040 You can't.

00:20:39.440 Mint Mobile lets you maximize your savings with plans starting at just $15 a month by going

00:20:45.400 online only and eliminating the traditional cost of retail.

00:20:49.300 You see, Mint Mobile doesn't have a brick and mortar store.

00:20:53.000 You can't find it.

00:20:54.400 You'll drive around your whole life looking for it.

00:20:56.560 They don't have it.

00:20:57.220 All plans come with unlimited talk and text, high-speed data delivered on the nation's

00:21:02.880 largest 5G network, no brick and mortar store.

00:21:06.620 The savings goes to you.

00:21:08.800 With Mint Mobile, you choose the amount of monthly data that's right for you.

00:21:12.600 Stop paying for data that you never use.

00:21:15.840 Switch to Mint Mobile and get premium wireless service starting at just $15 a month.

00:21:20.320 To get your new wireless plan for just $15 a month and get the plan shipped to your door

00:21:25.360 for free, go to mintmobile.com slash theo.

00:21:29.640 That's M-I-N-T-M-O-B-I-L-E dot com slash T-H-E-O.

00:21:34.980 Was there a time where you kind of knew that you really felt like, okay, this is kind of

00:21:39.560 fitting in my life?

00:21:40.580 Or was there a time in the beginning where you were like, this is not really working for

00:21:46.440 me?

00:21:47.400 No, I just sort of clicked right away.

00:21:49.780 And then, like, I got cast on an MTV show, like, almost less than two years in.

00:21:59.260 And, um...

00:21:59.800 Was it the one that Jess Mae Peluso did, that show?

00:22:01.820 It was a spinoff of Girl Code.

00:22:04.360 It was under the Girl Code banner, but it was a prank show.

00:22:07.360 Nice.

00:22:07.860 Yeah, and that sort of just started things.

00:22:10.340 And, um, yeah.

00:22:12.540 And so that's...

00:22:13.280 And so then you've just been doing it since then.

00:22:14.740 Yeah.

00:22:15.080 Do you feel like...

00:22:15.920 I know we talked...

00:22:16.520 You mentioned, or I mentioned, I think about it's male-dominated.

00:22:18.920 Does it feel like a...

00:22:19.980 Why do you think comedy is male-dominated, or does it feel male-dominated?

00:22:24.760 Well, I think the act of comedy itself is an extremely masculine thing.

00:22:30.020 You're walking on stage, and you're like, yeah, what I have to say is important, and

00:22:35.240 you guys will respond to it.

00:22:37.140 Like, the whole thing is extremely masculine in itself.

00:22:42.200 Yeah, it's almost like a combat.

00:22:43.720 You're almost going to a war in a way.

00:22:47.060 Yeah.

00:22:47.340 It feels like.

00:22:48.360 Like, um, in combat was, stereotypically, has always been a male thing.

00:22:54.040 Right.

00:22:54.440 Kind of, you know.

00:22:55.600 Yeah.

00:22:55.980 It's changing.

00:22:57.320 Yeah.

00:22:57.580 You know, but I think, like, if you look at, like, kind of like the arch types or whatever,

00:23:02.480 then it's usually a man out there, you know.

00:23:04.700 Yeah, and I think also the population in the country really, I mean, it's also changing

00:23:13.300 in this way because of podcasting and online specials and social media and all this stuff,

00:23:19.040 but, like, before I started comedy, I was maybe aware of five comedians.

00:23:23.380 Yeah.

00:23:23.680 And they're only the top five biggest, like, you're not really aware of the comedy landscape.

00:23:30.880 Right.

00:23:31.060 And so I don't think people really have been exposed to that many female comedians.

00:23:37.060 And I don't like to think about it because I don't want to have that perspective.

00:23:42.180 I don't think it's helpful for me to be like, no, no, it's gonna, you know, whatever.

00:23:47.360 I'm a pussy.

00:23:48.440 But, um, I do notice it sometimes, like, online where you'll see, like, YouTube comments or

00:23:55.380 something and you're like, oh, the rest of the country only thinks men are funny just

00:24:00.340 naturally.

00:24:00.880 It's just, like, a misogynist thing.

00:24:03.880 Yeah.

00:24:04.280 But also, who gives a fuck about them?

00:24:06.000 You have your own audience, whatever.

00:24:08.120 Yeah, I think, I mean, well, finding your own audience is key.

00:24:10.040 I mean, I think different places, I, I think, and I don't even know if it's the rest of the

00:24:15.740 country thing.

00:24:16.420 I don't know.

00:24:16.860 It's like, it always seems like, here's what I think sometimes is when I think about male

00:24:24.100 and female comedians.

00:24:25.660 I always, men, it always seems like they are, and maybe this is just because I've seen this

00:24:32.840 in television and film over the years, but they're like the goofball.

00:24:35.760 They're the, the fuck, you know, they're the bat bumbling, you know?

00:24:42.380 Yeah, I know what you mean.

00:24:43.200 And so, you don't mind if something happens to the bumbling guy.

00:24:47.980 Yeah.

00:24:48.440 You don't mind if that guy steps in a fire, slips on a banana peel.

00:24:52.860 For me, the thing that always, and this was the same thing about you watching UFC women.

00:24:57.580 I didn't like it at first.

00:24:59.480 I didn't like it because it felt like, I didn't think, oh, these people shouldn't be

00:25:03.860 able to do this.

00:25:05.000 Right.

00:25:05.460 I think anybody should do whatever they want.

00:25:07.660 It just was, like, I always thought of women as, like, mom.

00:25:10.900 Yeah, exactly.

00:25:11.400 And, like, a sister.

00:25:12.640 Right.

00:25:12.960 So, when you think about, oh, man, my sister, you know, it's a male instinct versus your sister's

00:25:17.580 getting in a fight.

00:25:18.740 Yeah.

00:25:18.840 That you help, or, like, and then comedy, I always felt like, was such an uncomfort, I think,

00:25:24.160 also, so it was like, man, this is so uncomfortable.

00:25:27.220 You don't, a woman doesn't need to go through this.

00:25:30.120 That's what my dad said to me when I first started.

00:25:31.880 Like, if I see a woman walking on stage, I should put my coat down over, like, you know,

00:25:35.800 so that she doesn't have to step in the stage, you know, or step in the, so I think there's

00:25:41.120 a lot of that.

00:25:42.000 I don't know if it's that, for me, it was never that women shouldn't do this, but I

00:25:48.160 did always, I think, and it wasn't a choice I made.

00:25:51.340 No, it's an unconscious bias, like, for you, you're saying it's, like, a certain fragility

00:25:56.700 that you're worried about that.

00:25:59.420 Yeah, it just felt like, why do, like, why do women have to do, why do they need to endure

00:26:05.560 this?

00:26:06.680 That's literally what my dad said to me, like, when I first started, he's like, you're one

00:26:12.400 of the smartest people I've ever met.

00:26:13.800 Why are you choosing to put your life in a basement with drunks and fuck-ups?

00:26:19.760 And I was like, fair, fair point, you know, but also, it's just like, it is what it is.

00:26:25.980 It's like, like, my, I think what you're saying is totally real, like, because I feel that way

00:26:30.700 that I'm received that way in Orange County, because they cannot fathom that a woman would

00:26:35.960 not, my own focus and priority would not be to be married with three kids right now.

00:26:42.400 And, like, my family's never seen me, my brothers have, but my parents have never seen me do

00:26:47.080 comedy before.

00:26:48.860 Wow.

00:26:49.300 Or any of my TV stuff, either.

00:26:51.680 Well, here's something also that happens.

00:26:53.260 A lot of women start doing comedy, right?

00:26:55.880 And I'm probably going to receive hell for this, because it's a very, it's a generalization.

00:26:59.880 Here's something that I sometimes feel could be realistic, and I don't know.

00:27:04.400 Here we go.

00:27:05.120 Um, and they, and then the first thing they do is beat this woman drum, instead of beating

00:27:13.020 the comedy drum, you know?

00:27:14.740 It's like, um...

00:27:17.120 You mean offstage?

00:27:18.920 Yeah, kind of.

00:27:19.840 It's like, I'm a female, like, somebody will be doing it a month, and they're big, and they're

00:27:23.560 just like, I, you just start getting into, like, this, I'm a, and I think maybe it was

00:27:28.360 like, kind of a fad that happened for a while.

00:27:30.380 It was like, um, and maybe women needed to, maybe they need to do that to make sure that

00:27:36.000 they're seen in, like, a, in, like, a male-dominated environment, you know?

00:27:40.180 But I feel like sometimes, uh, people will lean so much on any, whatever it is that makes

00:27:46.200 them, like, oh, I'm Southern, or I'm a woman, or I was on fire, you know?

00:27:51.300 You see some guy, and he's got skin grafts.

00:27:53.160 He's like, I was on fire, you know?

00:27:54.540 That's his big thing, and he's like, you know, fire shows, you know?

00:27:57.900 We're doing, everybody who's been on fire ever, you gotta be on, you know, you're on

00:28:00.960 the fire lineup only, you know?

00:28:03.340 Victim, you know, like, somebody, you know, neck brace line, you know, it's neck brace

00:28:06.500 night at the fucking, um, and I don't think it's a bad, I'm not saying it's a bad thing,

00:28:12.600 I don't know what I'm saying exactly.

00:28:14.300 I guess I'm saying some people attach themselves so much to something that they forget that

00:28:22.100 what they're doing is, that we still have to do the thing.

00:28:24.820 Yeah, I mean, I feel two ways about that.

00:28:27.120 I'm not saying that about you.

00:28:28.120 No, I don't think you have, you've never even seen me do comedy.

00:28:30.960 Yeah.

00:28:32.380 I wonder if that's true or not.

00:28:34.140 I don't think so.

00:28:35.160 Uh, but, yeah, I, I want to be aware of shit, and sometimes I can feel things.

00:28:44.340 Like, a lot of times, when I'm in a green room, I mean, less now that I'm, like, more

00:28:49.340 known, but, like, immediately when you walk in a green room, if it's, like, an older comic

00:28:54.620 or a famous comic, they think that you're the girlfriend of another dude.

00:28:58.340 And it's just, like, but, like, that's not something I'm going to get upset about, but

00:29:02.000 I can feel it immediately when I walk in.

00:29:04.360 Right.

00:29:04.760 Or, um, when I'm on stage, like, you know, comedy, though, is a meritocracy.

00:29:10.260 Like, it's an instantaneous reaction.

00:29:12.640 If you're not good, it's very apparent, you know?

00:29:16.380 And, like...

00:29:17.040 Yeah, I think so.

00:29:17.900 But then the industry also started to adjust where they're just picking people because

00:29:21.220 of things.

00:29:22.020 And that, I think, has certainly loosened up, I think, some of the meritocracy of it.

00:29:26.620 Yeah, that is, uh, true, like, it's much more diverse in, in TV and everything, in movies

00:29:33.780 and opportunities and stuff.

00:29:35.360 Um, and I think that's a good thing.

00:29:38.440 I, I don't think people should, you know, necessarily get something, uh, for, without

00:29:45.500 handing value.

00:29:47.520 But I like the diverse perspective.

00:29:49.720 But, yeah, I don't know.

00:29:52.520 Yeah, I think it's good because I do think it's good in the sense that it helps, like,

00:29:56.100 um, it does help diversify things some, you know?

00:30:01.440 It's, like, it helps, like, uh, plant seeds in people who maybe they also need inspiration

00:30:06.660 when they're young in their career.

00:30:07.840 Or it's, like, maybe a face you wouldn't normally get to see because things are so, if things

00:30:12.020 are so often the same way, you know?

00:30:14.300 Um, it gives different people opportunities.

00:30:16.340 I think it's less, less, uh, stand-up is less driven by that than, you know, say, television.

00:30:25.220 Right, just Hollywood in general.

00:30:26.460 Yeah, like, you see, I don't see these lineups or whatever, and I'm like, that wasn't the,

00:30:30.900 um, designing factor.

00:30:33.140 Yeah.

00:30:33.780 Yeah.

00:30:34.120 Um, yeah, it's interesting.

00:30:39.060 It's interesting because I wonder, yeah, why do I sometimes feel like, or what are some

00:30:43.360 of the things that make me feel like it's a man sport?

00:30:46.380 Or that it makes, I think, yeah, I think those are the things for me about that.

00:30:50.180 It's, like, there's some fragility to it that you don't want, uh, it's like a...

00:30:54.620 I mean, I don't know you well, but you seem like the area of comedy that you roll in is

00:31:02.640 hyper-masculine in the people that you're friends with.

00:31:07.100 Yeah.

00:31:08.520 I guess so.

00:31:09.400 Yeah, I mean, I have some female comedian friends, you know?

00:31:11.720 Oh, yeah.

00:31:12.180 Um, but I guess, yeah, I mean, I guess more of my comedian friends are probably men, probably.

00:31:18.740 Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.

00:31:20.220 Yeah.

00:31:20.580 Are more yours women, you think?

00:31:22.780 Uh, no.

00:31:24.000 I have, like, a mix.

00:31:25.040 I mean, I always say, like, I don't really like being a woman.

00:31:29.880 The best part about being a woman is female friendship.

00:31:34.320 Like, my girlfriends in comedy are, it's just, like, the best thing in the world.

00:31:39.800 Because we're not really, like, it's such a, uh, it's such a distinct, uh, way of life

00:31:46.820 that many people don't understand.

00:31:48.340 And especially, like, growing older as a woman, uh, people can't really understand, like,

00:31:54.540 why you would want to do it.

00:31:55.840 So it's like you're really understanding each other in a way that other people don't.

00:31:59.420 Right.

00:31:59.660 But, um, no, I love all my guy friends and, yeah.

00:32:03.960 Yeah, it's interesting.

00:32:04.820 It's so, and there's also so few people that do it.

00:32:07.600 Yeah.

00:32:08.620 Um, there's, when you think about it, like, even when you said, like, there's, you know,

00:32:12.940 you know, like, five comedies, until you get into comedy, and then you realize so many

00:32:16.340 people have, know nothing about comedy.

00:32:18.360 Totally.

00:32:18.940 You're, like, in the world, so you know what you start to like.

00:32:21.660 But then there's so many people that have no idea about.

00:32:24.820 Like, they couldn't, like, Chris Rock, they would just name Chris Rock.

00:32:28.040 Like, Eddie Murphy, you know.

00:32:29.680 Dave Chappelle.

00:32:30.040 Dave Chappelle.

00:32:30.420 Yeah, they wouldn't know Robin.

00:32:31.840 Right.

00:32:32.620 Yeah.

00:32:32.860 You know.

00:32:33.500 They have one point of reference, like, a lot of my girlfriends, uh, and I joke about it,

00:32:39.000 but, like, so many people will be, like, and they'll be trying to, like,

00:32:42.940 they're trying to compliment you, but it's fucking rude.

00:32:45.220 They'll be, like, you're, like, a more funny Amy Schumer, or, like, a less funny Amy Schumer.

00:32:50.040 Whatever it is, they're just comparing you.

00:32:51.940 And it's, like, you could just say good job.

00:32:53.680 Right.

00:32:55.400 Bitch.

00:32:56.200 Yeah, people don't know how.

00:32:57.140 I mean, I think some people also, they just don't know that much.

00:33:00.200 You know, like you're saying, if they're trying to give you a compliment.

00:33:02.040 Some people are bad at compliments.

00:33:03.640 Yeah.

00:33:04.400 It's always, like, backhanded or whatever.

00:33:06.300 But it's, the point is that they have one woman, and she has blonde hair.

00:33:10.300 Right.

00:33:10.500 And so they immediately, they're, like, I have to make that association,

00:33:13.740 and I have to tell it directly to this person.

00:33:15.720 Yeah.

00:33:16.240 Yeah.

00:33:16.700 Yeah, I wonder, what is it, what is that in people that makes them,

00:33:19.380 that makes us feel like we have to do that sometimes?

00:33:23.120 Um, I think it's just because you want to try to feel connected.

00:33:26.920 You want to try to share something.

00:33:29.060 You know?

00:33:29.880 It's interesting, because if an old person says it,

00:33:31.880 you'll give them less grief than you would if, like, a young person says it.

00:33:35.260 Yeah.

00:33:35.520 Um, that's how I try to think about, like, online comments, you know?

00:33:40.160 Like, if you see a crazy person yelling in the street,

00:33:43.520 where they're like, you're a fucking whore, you know what I mean?

00:33:46.160 And I'm like, I didn't take that in.

00:33:48.080 Yeah.

00:33:48.240 I was just like, that person's out of their fucking mind.

00:33:51.440 Right, but if you see it online.

00:33:52.760 Why?

00:33:53.540 But that's why I cheat them.

00:33:54.740 I'm like, oh, they're not well.

00:33:56.220 They're commenting on a person they don't know.

00:33:58.860 They've never met.

00:33:59.720 Who would do that, take the time in their day to do that?

00:34:02.500 Yeah.

00:34:03.200 Yeah.

00:34:03.960 Who did I see the other night?

00:34:05.020 Oh, Jessica Michelle Singleton is so funny.

00:34:07.240 Uh-huh.

00:34:07.620 Have you seen her perform before?

00:34:08.440 Yeah, I like Jessica.

00:34:09.660 Jesus Christ, dude.

00:34:10.840 It was one of the best sets I've seen in so long.

00:34:12.740 Oh, that's so nice.

00:34:13.740 Yeah.

00:34:13.920 She's so sweet, too.

00:34:14.800 She's such a good person.

00:34:15.880 It was, oh, it was so funny, man.

00:34:18.680 God.

00:34:18.840 That's great.

00:34:19.460 Yeah, it made me feel like, damn.

00:34:21.820 It was just really, really impressive.

00:34:24.020 Um, yeah, I wonder why else I've ever thought like that.

00:34:27.680 Maybe because also when I was growing up, they didn't have, like, I guess you had,

00:34:30.360 I'm trying to think of female comics that I saw growing up.

00:34:32.980 Joan Rivers.

00:34:34.280 Yep.

00:34:34.660 Joan Rivers, Paula Poundstone.

00:34:36.600 Yeah.

00:34:37.040 I remember.

00:34:38.060 Um, Roseanne, who I loved, who was like probably one of my favorites.

00:34:42.400 Uh, they've always had a good deal of female comedians, though.

00:34:47.060 I guess.

00:34:47.920 Like, back then there probably wasn't.

00:34:48.360 They didn't used to have that many comedians that people knew about.

00:34:50.640 Yeah.

00:34:51.280 Sarah Silverman.

00:34:52.600 Yeah.

00:34:53.260 Yeah.

00:34:53.520 I feel like Hollywood's always done a decent job of putting up probably a, like, pretty

00:34:59.540 diverse group, except when it gets outside of black, white, and female.

00:35:04.500 After those, I feel like it kind of fell off.

00:35:07.720 I mean.

00:35:07.960 Now it's different.

00:35:09.640 I think now things have been changing and going in a great direction, but, like, the

00:35:15.040 women before me, they always said, like, you know, they could be better than some dudes

00:35:21.520 in clubs, like, around the country wouldn't headline them because they said, like, people

00:35:25.380 wouldn't come, you know?

00:35:26.940 So it's, like, based on, like.

00:35:28.820 But then who's, is that anybody's fault, though, or is that just business?

00:35:33.160 Like, you can't.

00:35:33.500 It is business, but it's fucking dumb because it's not based on necessarily on talent.

00:35:38.540 Like, when you see, like, Laurie Kilmartin, when you watch Laurie Kilmartin, she's, like,

00:35:42.280 one of the best joke writers in the country.

00:35:43.900 Agreed.

00:35:44.000 And she just murders.

00:35:46.020 And to think of, like, a mediocre dude headlining over her is sad.

00:35:51.000 Right.

00:35:51.360 You know what I mean?

00:35:52.200 Right.

00:35:52.520 But I think a lot of that goes to, like, just business.

00:35:56.000 It's the same as, like, like, you could put a ton, you could lay, you could put a lineup

00:36:02.400 and diversify it all you want, right?

00:36:05.420 But in the end, if it doesn't sell, if people aren't buying tickets to go see it, like, if

00:36:09.160 the, if the people aren't buying tickets to go see it, then.

00:36:12.440 No, the market is dumb.

00:36:14.760 Right.

00:36:16.880 So, yeah.

00:36:17.700 Yeah.

00:36:17.980 In the end, it's like, yeah, it just has to be.

00:36:20.160 So, Maritocracy, it doesn't always figure out, I guess, then, does it?

00:36:23.080 No, Maritocracy is what I mean, is just on stage where you're like, okay, we'll see

00:36:28.960 who's good and who's not.

00:36:30.900 Oh, I've seen tons of people over the years that get opportunities because of, like, nepotism,

00:36:35.700 religion, you know, like, certain friendships, that kind of stuff just happens.

00:36:41.740 I think it happens in all walks of life, you know?

00:36:44.460 Yeah.

00:36:45.360 Yeah, it does.

00:36:46.480 Like, you see.

00:36:47.460 But that's also the thing that makes you keep fucking going.

00:36:50.040 Like, if it, if you showed up and just walked in and were like, hey, I'm here and I'm funny

00:36:55.360 and just because I'm black, female, was in a fire, you know, died and came back to life

00:37:02.000 or whatever.

00:37:02.440 I love how you keep saying, was in a fire, as if that was someone's thing.

00:37:06.580 Well, I'm just thinking different.

00:37:07.560 Oh, it certainly is, man.

00:37:08.800 They got all these shows.

00:37:09.680 It's like, I saw one, one show, it was like, uh.

00:37:13.560 I haven't been going to these shows.

00:37:14.900 You've been going to?

00:37:16.020 It's just some of the things I get.

00:37:17.320 You know, I get a link or something.

00:37:18.660 Hey, check out this.

00:37:19.440 And it's all, like, um, like, not a, not victims, affliction.

00:37:24.640 Well.

00:37:25.040 It's like affliction night.

00:37:26.040 I said publicly, do not ask me to do your all-female show that it's, like, ladies of laughter

00:37:33.700 or some shit.

00:37:34.480 I'm like, that is so fucking humiliating.

00:37:36.780 Why don't you just call it, look at these clams yapping?

00:37:39.780 Like, I cannot, I mean, like, I cannot even fathom that shit.

00:37:45.400 It's so embarrassing.

00:37:46.560 Well, here, here's, so here's something that happens, I think.

00:37:50.160 A lot of men, also, for me, I remember, like, I was so, it was so tough sometimes.

00:37:55.540 Like, um, who was I talking about one time?

00:37:58.640 Um, oh, Nikki Glaser, when I first heard her act, it reminded me, for some reason, of

00:38:03.000 my mother, specifically.

00:38:04.980 And so I, like, couldn't listen to her comedy in the beginning because there was just some

00:38:08.380 weird correlation between, like, her and what my mom sounded like to me growing up, right?

00:38:13.520 Yeah.

00:38:13.900 It's not that way now.

00:38:15.180 I mean, and she knows, I've talked, it's just been, like, a funny thing, but, um.

00:38:19.880 And I'm sure maybe girls.

00:38:20.880 I mean, men relate to women in weird ways.

00:38:22.720 Right, and girls probably do the same to guys, I bet.

00:38:25.000 Yeah, well, and there's also just a thing of, like, you know, it's good to be able to

00:38:31.020 do well in front of everyone, but there are demographics that are going to be more naturally

00:38:35.820 drawn to you and your material and who you are and what you're talking about.

00:38:39.400 Like, I don't, like.

00:38:40.420 Right, which is totally fine, and that's.

00:38:42.020 Yeah.

00:38:42.940 Like, the other night I did a show at that comedy jam, Jam in the Vans.

00:38:47.440 Uh-huh.

00:38:47.680 So, and then we had, uh, there was a comedian on the lineup who's a female comedian, right?

00:38:52.360 She says to me, and the crowd was pretty diverse.

00:38:55.700 She comes up to me after the show, she goes, hey, I just want to say, I saw your crowd,

00:38:59.320 very diverse group, you're really doing your job.

00:39:02.440 That's what she said to me.

00:39:04.020 And I'm like, I will never work with this girl again for saying that.

00:39:07.740 Because, like, you know how hard it is to get any audience?

00:39:09.800 You think I'm, I have to get a certain type of audience?

00:39:13.100 Like, that's fucking crazy to me.

00:39:15.940 Like, I'm happy to sell any tickets.

00:39:18.900 Like, now I have to make sure each audience member, like, this person, you know, has a hat,

00:39:24.120 this person has glasses, this person's a ginger, this person's a Filipino.

00:39:27.800 Like, that's fucking impossible.

00:39:29.880 Yeah.

00:39:30.140 Right?

00:39:30.940 Like, I don't know.

00:39:32.560 And maybe I had, like, I mean, I could have had, like, an overreaction.

00:39:34.740 It just seemed like, and this was a girl who doesn't sell tickets, which is fine, right?

00:39:39.180 But it was like, are you really telling me, like, that I have to have now a, like, a diverse audience?

00:39:46.580 Like, it just fucking was like, that's impossible.

00:39:50.740 Okay?

00:39:51.400 Maybe some people it's possible, but.

00:39:53.460 I love that you had a, and this is a person who doesn't sell tickets.

00:39:57.200 Yeah.

00:39:58.200 Well, it's like, coming from her, it's like, yeah, you would think that, hypothetically, in this perfect world,

00:40:03.560 it would be great if every time you walked out there, there was, like, a perfect rainbow of an audience.

00:40:07.840 I mean, I would love that, personally, for me, like, you know, there's nothing better on earth as a white woman than making black people laugh.

00:40:16.140 Right.

00:40:16.760 There's no better feeling in the world.

00:40:18.620 Oh, yeah.

00:40:19.340 But, like, yeah, I mean, you can control it, and people, like, I'm sure a lot of, you know, southern people are drawn to you.

00:40:27.500 I don't have a big southern audience, actually.

00:40:29.160 Oh.

00:40:29.660 Yeah.

00:40:30.480 But, yeah, most of my tickets, I sell Australia, Portland is my biggest audience.

00:40:35.480 Oh.

00:40:35.880 Yeah.

00:40:36.420 Wow.

00:40:36.580 Because I don't have a country audience.

00:40:37.680 I'm not a country guy.

00:40:38.740 Oh.

00:40:40.100 But, yeah, it's funny you would think that, though.

00:40:42.860 Well, I don't know what's country, just, like, aren't you from there?

00:40:46.120 I'm from Louisiana.

00:40:47.160 Yeah.

00:40:47.500 But, yeah, but I don't sell, it's like, I do great there, you know, but I don't, it's not, like, my biggest markets.

00:40:53.160 Oh.

00:40:53.620 Yeah, and it never has been, really.

00:40:56.600 But, yeah, I don't know, I just felt like that was such an, like, you're really doing your job.

00:41:02.140 Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

00:41:05.820 What are you, I don't know.

00:41:07.260 And I don't know why I'm bringing that up right now.

00:41:08.480 I guess because we're, like, talking about that kind of stuff.

00:41:10.540 Yeah.

00:41:11.000 But it just blows, like, what?

00:41:13.300 Like, you can't control who comes out there.

00:41:17.500 Yeah.

00:41:18.400 You know?

00:41:18.980 And you work so hard to get anybody to come out there.

00:41:22.220 Yeah.

00:41:22.480 That you are grateful, I'm grateful for those people.

00:41:24.640 I don't care what fucking collar and care, if they have no heads or arms.

00:41:27.940 Yeah.

00:41:28.220 If they have a heart that cares and wants to be there.

00:41:30.260 Yeah.

00:41:30.680 Then I'm grateful for that.

00:41:31.740 Yeah.

00:41:32.140 You would love a limbless audience.

00:41:34.120 I would be totally fine.

00:41:35.480 Yeah.

00:41:35.760 You'd love them to be wheeled into your show.

00:41:38.700 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:39.480 Yeah.

00:41:39.840 I mean, it would be fine.

00:41:41.660 Right.

00:41:43.000 But, yeah, I just thought that mindset that, like, now.

00:41:45.760 I wonder if that's a mindset that some comedians feel now.

00:41:48.200 That, like, man, now I have to get this perfectly diverse audience.

00:41:51.280 You know?

00:41:51.940 I don't know.

00:41:52.800 I don't think about that shit.

00:41:54.120 I just try to be a good person.

00:41:55.800 I'm for diversity.

00:41:57.200 But, you know, I'll just do what I can do.

00:41:59.440 And there's so much you can't control.

00:42:02.480 Yeah.

00:42:03.700 Yeah, I don't know.

00:42:04.400 I mean, I don't really know a lot of people that aren't for diversity, I guess.

00:42:08.580 That's good.

00:42:09.280 Yeah.

00:42:09.840 I mean, it's kind of inevitable, you know?

00:42:11.740 Yeah.

00:42:11.840 You can't even really be race anymore because everybody's so mixed now, you know?

00:42:15.240 It's, like, fucking almost impossible.

00:42:17.200 You almost have, like, a real chart if you're really going to be race.

00:42:19.700 It's, like, you got to really fucking do some homework, you know?

00:42:22.540 Yeah.

00:42:23.260 I feel like, anyway.

00:42:28.260 So, what other stuff have you tried outside of breath work?

00:42:32.040 I really did a lot.

00:42:33.980 Have you?

00:42:34.240 Like, so, like, quarantine.

00:42:36.100 And I've always been like this.

00:42:37.120 I was like this since I was a little kid.

00:42:38.840 I was raised Catholic.

00:42:40.740 But, like, my parents, when I would ask them about God, they'd just, like, change the subject.

00:42:45.140 But it was, like, an Italian thing.

00:42:46.860 It's just, like, culturally Catholic.

00:42:48.340 Because my dad's, like, full Italian.

00:42:50.240 Okay.

00:42:50.500 But I was, like, I would think deeply about all of it, like, really seriously.

00:42:57.380 And I always was, like, reading.

00:43:00.040 And I just loved learning.

00:43:01.380 And so, you know, I've been in therapy for a long time.

00:43:06.260 And when quarantine hit, I was like, oh, now I can't do stand-up.

00:43:11.200 Like, I had this time.

00:43:12.640 And I just started taking, like, all these weirdo online courses.

00:43:16.480 I did, I took breathwork and, like, I took it online through Zoom.

00:43:21.780 Yeah.

00:43:21.940 I was taking breathwork classes for the first time.

00:43:23.920 And I just couldn't believe it.

00:43:25.360 It was amazing.

00:43:27.420 Because, you know, I was reading those books that are saying, like, trauma stored in your body.

00:43:31.920 In, like, your physical body, your tissues and everything.

00:43:35.840 Did you believe that when you heard it at first?

00:43:38.120 Yeah.

00:43:38.540 I mean, there's, like, a lot of research about it.

00:43:41.040 Uh, and, you know, if you had any abuse or anything, it's in there, like, beyond your conscious mind.

00:43:49.780 Um, and then, like, I took Reiki certification.

00:43:53.420 Wow.

00:43:53.920 Yeah, I just was, like, and I just do all this stuff for fun.

00:43:57.480 Oh, it's fascinating.

00:43:58.220 Yeah, like, I like learning about it.

00:44:00.080 And I take a little from each thing.

00:44:01.780 I don't, like, I don't treat anything as dogma.

00:44:05.220 Yeah.

00:44:05.620 And then I took TM meditation certification.

00:44:08.080 Yeah.

00:44:08.660 And then I did ayahuasca.

00:44:10.060 Oh, wow.

00:44:11.380 Yeah.

00:44:12.360 Um, so I want to go through a little bit of that.

00:44:14.620 So, uh, what do you say you said?

00:44:19.840 Um.

00:44:21.500 Breath work.

00:44:22.280 Breath work.

00:44:22.880 And you got certified to teach it?

00:44:24.520 Yeah.

00:44:24.940 Wow.

00:44:25.480 I took two, uh, levels of courses.

00:44:28.680 The first one is just to teach one-on-one.

00:44:30.400 And then the second level is to teach, like, group classes.

00:44:33.160 And how long does that certification and stuff take?

00:44:35.860 Um, it's a certain, I don't know.

00:44:37.320 I was, like, how many hours would it have been?

00:44:40.600 Probably, like, 16 hours per level.

00:44:43.300 You do, like, it was online.

00:44:45.060 Dang.

00:44:45.560 Yeah.

00:44:45.960 And are you, like, practicing your neighbors and shit?

00:44:47.620 Like, what do you, how do you, is there?

00:44:49.260 Well, I wasn't going to teach it.

00:44:50.660 It was never, I was never going to teach it.

00:44:52.780 You were just learning it to learn it.

00:44:53.700 I was just, like, interested.

00:44:55.080 Yeah.

00:44:55.340 And, you know, I wasn't on the road.

00:44:56.980 I wasn't doing anything.

00:44:58.060 And it was just fun.

00:44:59.720 And, um, and then, like, nine months after I took it, like, some of my friends were, like,

00:45:04.220 people are all really fucked up around us.

00:45:06.740 Like, you should just do an online one.

00:45:08.660 And I was, like, no.

00:45:10.080 That's weird.

00:45:10.980 Especially, like, you know, comedy and stuff.

00:45:14.060 Like, it would be, like, a vulnerable thing to be, like, take my breath work class.

00:45:19.500 Yeah.

00:45:19.780 Um, but, yeah, I, like, made an online thing and a bunch of people came and they really

00:45:25.960 liked it.

00:45:26.720 And then I've done, like, two since and I'm doing another one.

00:45:29.580 I haven't done one since June, but I'm doing one on Tuesday.

00:45:33.700 Yeah.

00:45:35.020 Um, you haven't done one of your own, you mean?

00:45:38.140 No, I haven't had a virtual class or, like, that people can come to.

00:45:41.760 So you'll do a virtual, oh, and anybody can go?

00:45:43.880 Yeah.

00:45:44.240 So is it the same, like, the lesson that you gave me?

00:45:46.940 Yeah.

00:45:47.360 But it's a group.

00:45:47.780 It's less personalized.

00:45:48.700 Right.

00:45:48.920 Yeah, I can't personalize it for, like, a big group.

00:45:51.380 Right.

00:45:51.820 Like, when we do a session, um, you know, I think Brittany is the one that told you.

00:45:57.220 Yeah, Brittany, uh, Hunter?

00:45:58.900 No, Brittany.

00:45:59.640 Brittany Schmidt.

00:46:00.320 I'm sorry.

00:46:01.360 Brittany Hunter went to my high school.

00:46:02.960 Yeah, who the fuck is Brittany Hunter?

00:46:05.180 I, I, she was a great woman.

00:46:06.520 I don't know.

00:46:07.040 I don't know.

00:46:07.560 I think she's still alive.

00:46:08.640 I don't know.

00:46:10.100 But, um, I think she went to my high school.

00:46:12.060 I don't even know, actually.

00:46:13.120 I remember, like, one person from my school, so I don't even.

00:46:16.640 Yeah.

00:46:16.940 Um, wow.

00:46:18.160 You just, you just don't, you're not a fan.

00:46:20.100 You just, did you thrive in high school?

00:46:22.800 I did.

00:46:24.380 Everything was going great until something bad happened.

00:46:29.320 Oh, in high school?

00:46:30.060 Yeah.

00:46:30.680 Oh.

00:46:31.780 Um.

00:46:32.180 But, like, yeah.

00:46:36.460 And.

00:46:37.120 I did thrive.

00:46:38.080 You did?

00:46:38.740 Yeah.

00:46:39.280 Were, uh, how do you feel like you thrived?

00:46:41.580 Like, were you funny then?

00:46:43.440 I was funny.

00:46:44.900 Like, I was a surfer.

00:46:46.020 I was like, like, started a volleyball player.

00:46:49.060 Went to UCLA.

00:46:50.240 You went to UCLA?

00:46:51.380 For volleyball.

00:46:52.260 Oh, wow.

00:46:52.840 Really?

00:46:53.140 Yeah.

00:46:53.540 Oh, dang.

00:46:54.600 Yeah.

00:46:55.420 Dude, what a babe, huh?

00:46:56.860 Uh, it was, so, high school was good, but I, some shit did go down that really was tough.

00:47:06.100 Was it, um.

00:47:07.460 My coach.

00:47:08.820 You're, you had a coach?

00:47:10.480 Yeah.

00:47:10.820 That was abusive?

00:47:13.720 Yeah.

00:47:14.160 Yeah.

00:47:14.660 Yeah.

00:47:15.100 I'm sorry to hear that.

00:47:16.080 Oh, it's okay.

00:47:16.800 Thank you.

00:47:17.480 Um, is that one of the things that you, made you want to do, like, seek out some of these

00:47:21.840 other things?

00:47:22.560 Yeah.

00:47:23.360 And, like, you know, I'd worked my whole life.

00:47:25.860 I was, like, junior national team, all this stuff, like, volleyball.

00:47:28.580 And this is in college?

00:47:29.880 Uh, yeah.

00:47:30.560 And then, like, it was just kind of, I mentally wasn't, like, it just wasn't great for me because

00:47:39.400 everything that happened and stuff, and I quit, like, two years in.

00:47:43.820 Um, so you had an, you had a abusive experience with a coach?

00:47:48.120 Yeah.

00:47:48.600 And, I'm sorry, I don't know how to ask about it.

00:47:50.380 No, that's okay.

00:47:51.460 You're doing great.

00:47:52.540 Yeah, I'm curious.

00:47:53.540 It's process.

00:47:54.520 Okay.

00:47:54.720 It's not, like, yeah.

00:47:55.780 Okay, so you had, so you were in high school when this happened?

00:47:58.900 Yeah.

00:47:59.320 Wow.

00:47:59.880 Yeah.

00:48:00.340 And it was a coach of yours?

00:48:02.740 Yeah.

00:48:03.340 And did, was there charges?

00:48:05.080 Was it?

00:48:05.900 No, like.

00:48:06.620 What, can I ask you what happened?

00:48:07.720 I mean, it was, like, a sexual abuse thing, and, um, like, there was, I've talked about

00:48:14.320 it on podcasts.

00:48:14.620 Because I'm trying to be brave, because I don't have, I get nervous asking about certain

00:48:17.540 stuff.

00:48:17.780 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:18.240 So for me, I'm not trying to, like, I don't want you to be uncomfortable.

00:48:20.660 No, no, I'm, I'll only go as far as I want to go.

00:48:23.900 Okay.

00:48:24.740 And I don't want you to feel like I expect you to talk about it.

00:48:26.860 No, no, it's, um.

00:48:27.980 But I think it, if it's, I do think it's interesting if, what our traumas are, or why, you know,

00:48:34.440 because that breathwork class, the first one I took from you, fucking blew my mind.

00:48:37.780 Like, I'm on the phone with my brother, I can't even talk.

00:48:40.220 Right.

00:48:40.500 Because I'm crying, you know.

00:48:42.080 Right.

00:48:42.240 And he thinks just something's wrong with the connection.

00:48:44.640 And I'm like, fucking, something's wrong with every connection in my life, you know.

00:48:48.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:48:49.840 And, like, these things, um, impact us, like, subconsciously for a long time.

00:48:55.920 And I was in therapy, and, you know, therapy's great, and I got to a place where I could,

00:49:00.800 you know, talk about it totally comfortably, and, and was it a relationship that you had

00:49:05.180 with a coach?

00:49:05.900 Uh, yeah.

00:49:06.520 I mean, there was, like, I found out there was, like, many other people besides me, but,

00:49:10.420 um, unfortunately.

00:49:12.960 Uh, but yeah, it really was just so disorienting, and, like, a really developmental, like, sensitive

00:49:19.340 time of my life.

00:49:20.700 Wow.

00:49:21.060 And especially, like, this thing where I sort of felt like I had to choose between saying

00:49:27.320 something, or, like, um, ruining my, which, sadly, I still think was the right choice.

00:49:35.140 Because I was like, I'm not fucking up my dream of playing division volleyball at my

00:49:39.620 division one volleyball at my dream school, you know.

00:49:42.940 Yeah.

00:49:43.520 Um, so I didn't say any, I didn't say shit.

00:49:45.940 Um, and then, yeah, just, I sort of started processing, and when I was older, I ended up

00:49:52.020 doing, uh, talking about it in stand-up, like, uh, like, sort of before the pandemic, and

00:49:57.920 I was never, like, one of those people that was, like, I have to be confessional comedy

00:50:01.920 or whatever.

00:50:02.560 I was like, I would only talk about this if it was not for any sort of, like, processing

00:50:07.100 trauma, but because it was really fucking funny.

00:50:10.420 Um, and so I did that, and that was really cool, but also really, uh, it wore on me a lot

00:50:17.400 more than I thought it would be.

00:50:19.020 I could only, I only did it for, like.

00:50:20.680 Oh, it wore on you?

00:50:21.180 Yeah, yeah, because it was so different, like, I, I talked about it, um, I thought,

00:50:26.560 like, I talked about it so much that it's, like, I feel great.

00:50:31.060 Talking about it on stage every night, uh, took so much out of me physically, and also

00:50:37.700 before I got it, like, good, you know, bombing.

00:50:41.520 Right, oh.

00:50:42.420 But that shit was.

00:50:44.160 Trauma bombing?

00:50:46.260 There's nothing sadder.

00:50:47.480 Yeah, no, it's like.

00:50:48.400 There's nothing more painful.

00:50:49.020 No, I just got molested again.

00:50:50.680 Um, but, yeah.

00:50:52.660 Uh, and then I put that set out.

00:50:55.200 By silence.

00:50:56.140 Yeah.

00:50:56.360 I was like, you guys are injuring me right now, um, but, yeah, like, I'm really proud

00:51:02.380 of that set.

00:51:02.980 Like, I think it's, like, one of the funniest things I've ever done.

00:51:06.560 Um.

00:51:07.220 Wow.

00:51:07.740 Yeah.

00:51:08.020 Yeah.

00:51:08.060 What would you do if you didn't have high interest loans or credit card debt?

00:51:11.700 What would you do?

00:51:13.500 If you didn't have a high interest rate mortgage, you didn't have credit card debt, what would

00:51:17.200 you do?

00:51:18.300 Go to Guam, maybe?

00:51:20.100 Go to Bahrain?

00:51:21.400 Go to, uh, go to Ohio?

00:51:24.340 Go take a trip somewhere.

00:51:25.580 Do something.

00:51:27.040 Well, if you dread looking at your credit card statements, then you're just like me and

00:51:32.520 just like millions of others.

00:51:34.920 But Upstart can help you on your path to financial freedom.

00:51:39.720 Upstart is the fast and easy way to pay off your debt with a personal loan all online.

00:51:46.460 Yep.

00:51:47.480 You can use, you can check your rate without impacting your credit score in minutes for

00:51:51.960 loans between $1,000 to $50,000.

00:51:55.920 Dear God, they've got so many amounts.

00:51:59.220 You can receive funds as fast as one business day after accepting your loan.

00:52:02.640 Find out how Upstart can lower your monthly payments today when you go to Upstart.com slash

00:52:09.920 Theo.

00:52:10.960 That's Upstart.com slash T-H-E-O.

00:52:14.580 Don't forget to use our URL to let them know that we sent you.

00:52:18.660 We sent you.

00:52:20.720 Loan amounts will be determined based on your credit income and certain other information

00:52:23.720 provided in your loan application.

00:52:26.020 Upstart.com slash Theo.

00:52:28.220 You know, if you don't change things up, they get stale.

00:52:32.640 They get, um, they get real, uh, if you don't change things up, they get the same.

00:52:42.420 And the same is not exciting after a while.

00:52:45.580 The same can be boring, especially when it comes to fitness.

00:52:48.640 If you do one exercise forever, you do calf raises and you don't do anything else, you'll

00:52:55.660 probably die, but you'll have strong, strong legs, bottom legs.

00:53:01.620 Peloton is stepping in to the new change when it comes to fitness.

00:53:08.560 They're doing new things, new offerings added to their lineup.

00:53:12.140 They've got boxing now.

00:53:14.740 That's right.

00:53:15.160 Discover a fast, furious, fun workout with Peloton instructors in your corner.

00:53:20.700 They've got new artist series of music.

00:53:22.680 You listen to new music, you like it.

00:53:24.500 You listen to some Adele.

00:53:26.100 You listen to some damn, uh, Counting Crows.

00:53:28.180 Some, uh, uh, Young M.A.

00:53:31.800 Listen to it all.

00:53:33.720 Whoever else you like.

00:53:35.420 Willie, Willie, uh, Willie Nelson.

00:53:37.800 From pop and rock to hip hop, they've got all types of new, uh, stations you can listen

00:53:45.120 to, specifically, specifically on their platform.

00:53:48.220 More daily workout variety.

00:53:50.000 A workout for every goal, day, and mood.

00:53:51.820 You got 10 minutes, they got 10 minutes.

00:53:53.360 You, you got a half hour, they can help you.

00:53:55.460 You want yoga, you want to do abs, uh, they can help.

00:53:59.560 Bike workout, meditation, dance, cardio, it's all on there.

00:54:02.880 For a limited time only, try the Peloton app.

00:54:05.480 Free for two months.

00:54:06.620 Then $12.99 a month after.

00:54:10.160 New members only visit onepeloton.com slash app to learn more.

00:54:15.300 That's two months free at O-N-E-P-E-L-O-T-O-N dot com.

00:54:20.940 Offer expires.

00:54:22.200 $1-31-22 terms apply.

00:54:24.820 So, when all that, so you quit volleyball at the time because it was just all of it was

00:54:29.600 too much?

00:54:30.320 No, I wouldn't say it was because of that.

00:54:33.440 Like, I wouldn't, it was just like, it was, it had been so much, uh, that it was just,

00:54:41.300 I was overwhelmed.

00:54:42.440 Wow.

00:54:42.920 Like, cause I wasn't mentally, and obviously I didn't have any support.

00:54:46.820 I hadn't told anyone, you know, whatever it was.

00:54:48.760 So, uh, yeah, it was just really crazy experience.

00:54:52.260 And how much of that, when you look back on it now, um, and if it's a, not a fair thing

00:54:58.440 to ask or something, just let me know.

00:54:59.640 Cause I don't really know sometimes, but, um, how much are you able to try and examine

00:55:04.800 the psyche of whatever that person that like, you know, the abuser was like, are you able

00:55:10.180 to like try and not obviously understand where they're coming from, but see like, you know,

00:55:16.820 cause now you seem pretty in tune with like feelings and why people do stuff.

00:55:21.080 Maybe I'm sure you've had a lot of, you know, a lot of going through a lot of your own stuff

00:55:25.320 with that.

00:55:26.040 Are you able to like, I don't know what I guess.

00:55:30.700 No.

00:55:30.980 Am I able to forgive this person?

00:55:33.960 Yeah.

00:55:34.340 Like how do you find some foot and you'd be able to forgive somebody?

00:55:36.740 Cause that would be fucking hard.

00:55:38.260 Um, I don't think, yeah.

00:55:40.060 I mean, I've really had a whole process with that.

00:55:42.360 I don't think, um, obviously it's not a well person.

00:55:45.080 It's like they're mentally sick, you know, a kid.

00:55:50.100 Like when I see like a 16 year old now, I'm like, that's a baby.

00:55:53.560 Right.

00:55:54.020 Uh, and so you are not well, if you are somehow attracted to a child.

00:56:01.060 Um, yeah, but I, I, I just see it as a sick person and you know, I had to, it's painful

00:56:08.700 and all this stuff, but, um, yeah, it's just like, I have to move forward and enjoy

00:56:14.940 it in my life.

00:56:15.580 Like you do have to look directly at these things to get through them.

00:56:18.700 Uh, but yeah, I want to have a good life.

00:56:22.220 I'll say it's like, I do have like commitment issues that I'm working through at this point

00:56:28.460 in my life.

00:56:29.640 Yeah.

00:56:30.900 Wow.

00:56:31.420 I bet.

00:56:33.000 It's just like, I mean, I could, yeah, you don't realize the side effects of like, I think

00:56:37.160 sometimes we don't even realize the side effects of certain things, like all the little things

00:56:40.560 that it can go into, you know?

00:56:42.000 Yeah.

00:56:42.280 Like I'll have these like nice men try to get close to me and I'm just like, I don't

00:56:48.840 know, but I'm, I'm working through it.

00:56:51.840 Yeah.

00:56:53.460 Um, that's crazy.

00:56:56.000 It reminds me of like, it just makes me think of when I was growing up, they had like coaches

00:56:59.960 that would get in trouble for date.

00:57:02.340 Yeah.

00:57:02.500 Like there was a lot of that.

00:57:03.860 I mean, there's so much bullshit that goes on now.

00:57:06.160 There's so much pain in the world.

00:57:07.340 There really is.

00:57:08.240 And it, and it's like, there really, really is.

00:57:10.780 And like, I, I want to be each person that heals himself and gets well, it has a ripple

00:57:18.320 effect.

00:57:18.780 Yeah.

00:57:19.220 And it's able to be more kind to the people around them and to make the world better and

00:57:25.580 less full of pain.

00:57:26.960 Yeah.

00:57:27.480 And like, I want to be, have children and I want to be really solid.

00:57:32.160 And yeah.

00:57:33.620 Right.

00:57:34.260 Yeah.

00:57:34.620 It's hard.

00:57:35.100 It's hard to do that.

00:57:35.840 I, I struggle a lot with that commitment stuff and it's so fucking hard for me.

00:57:39.100 Like my whole life, it's always been hard for me to like, say like, this is my girlfriend.

00:57:42.720 Like I, there's nothing makes me cringe more than saying like that I'm attached to anybody.

00:57:53.120 Is it because it limits your options?

00:57:56.140 No, I don't think that that's it.

00:57:57.800 I think it's like some, I mean, I'm sure there's been times where, where obviously maybe I did

00:58:02.440 what didn't want to be in a relationship or something, but I think for me when I was

00:58:07.300 young, like the only thing I felt like I had was the way you saw me.

00:58:11.200 Like I was always like hyper managing like my, um, like I'd hated where we lived.

00:58:18.420 I hated our financial status.

00:58:20.420 I didn't like our family.

00:58:21.820 We had no family set up all these things that I had no control over.

00:58:25.260 Yeah.

00:58:26.080 That fucking may just were like, maybe so angry or uncomfortable.

00:58:30.100 And then the only thing I could control was how you saw me.

00:58:33.840 Like when you saw me, how you saw me.

00:58:35.940 So it was like, I was constantly trying to manage this image of like, I would take different

00:58:40.840 buses to different neighborhoods and then fucking walk them.

00:58:43.340 Just weird shit.

00:58:44.080 But then I always like was, I think it was like, well, if I have somebody else attached

00:58:48.560 to me and they do something weird or uncomfortable or whatever, then that's going to be a reflection

00:58:52.780 of how you see me.

00:58:53.940 It was just too much of a liability.

00:58:56.040 It was, it's cause it's all an outward focus.

00:59:00.560 Right.

00:59:00.980 Like I'm concerned with what people.

00:59:02.940 Yeah.

00:59:03.500 I get that.

00:59:04.160 Like, I think that's something that's so natural, especially as like teenagers and

00:59:09.620 that whole time period.

00:59:10.900 And, and then as you get older, that's something I'm really focusing on.

00:59:14.260 We've talked about it in breath work, but like, I really want to not look outward and

00:59:20.640 that's, I stopped.

00:59:21.960 I really have been negotiating my relationship with Instagram too, because I feel that's all

00:59:27.520 looking outward.

00:59:28.540 Yeah.

00:59:28.820 I'll black out and like lose an hour just like watching fucking Instagram stories.

00:59:33.080 And I'm like, this is hell.

00:59:34.700 This is, um, this is not like an intentional thing.

00:59:37.340 I don't want to know what these people are fucking doing.

00:59:39.480 This is literally hell on earth.

00:59:41.440 I'm afraid of being on my fucking deathbed and being like, I didn't live life.

00:59:45.640 I was just looking at Instagram stories.

00:59:47.740 Yeah.

00:59:48.180 You know what I mean?

00:59:49.060 And so I'm, I, and like now also, I'm really trying to think about like, especially it

00:59:57.600 is hard when we do this thing where you are really putting yourself out there to be seen

01:00:02.120 and that can be difficult.

01:00:04.080 It's hard to be vulnerable in like a public life like this.

01:00:09.080 And so in my mind, one thing I'm working on is just maintaining my energy no matter who

01:00:14.160 I'm around.

01:00:14.820 Like nobody is above me and nobody is below me, whoever they are.

01:00:20.220 Yeah.

01:00:20.880 So that I'm not like outside myself.

01:00:23.400 Oh, I see what you're saying.

01:00:25.040 So it keeps everything in this ground where it's all like, it's going to be the same no

01:00:28.460 matter what.

01:00:28.920 So that's a lot more manageable.

01:00:30.700 I'm not trying to impress anyone and I'm not trying to look down on anyone.

01:00:35.140 Right.

01:00:35.420 That's like the state that I'm trying to, girl, that's a real tightrope.

01:00:40.520 Yeah.

01:00:40.780 I mean, it's good.

01:00:41.600 No, it's a great, I love it.

01:00:43.060 Practice.

01:00:43.860 Right.

01:00:44.160 Now I'll be around like really big fucking people and they're just a person.

01:00:49.180 Yeah.

01:00:49.780 And I'm also around people like, I don't want, I want to be regular with them.

01:00:55.080 I want to treat that person.

01:00:56.660 That's like, but like not wherever I am.

01:01:00.040 The exact fucking same.

01:01:01.820 Yeah.

01:01:02.820 Sometimes it's hard, dude.

01:01:03.800 They had this guy in like in a park next to our, uh, my place out here and he was like

01:01:09.020 playing this drummer all night.

01:01:10.640 He is not a drummer.

01:01:11.780 Right.

01:01:12.100 So that's a real, that was a lot, you know?

01:01:16.000 Um, but I seen himself.

01:01:18.080 Yeah.

01:01:19.180 Kind of, but it kind of like, not during business hours, you know?

01:01:22.340 So sometimes it's hard, man.

01:01:23.600 I just want to treat everybody well and not fucking throw limes at that guy.

01:01:26.700 Oh yeah.

01:01:27.820 I know.

01:01:28.440 I will now I'll be like aware of my impatience because you might be a highly sensitive person.

01:01:35.620 Yeah.

01:01:35.920 Which is 20% of the population.

01:01:37.920 Is it really?

01:01:38.580 I identify unfortunately to my humiliation as one of those people.

01:01:43.940 I don't want to be a highly fucking sensitive person.

01:01:46.340 Most of this audience is probably highly sensitive.

01:01:48.740 That's my audience actually.

01:01:50.220 It's like, no, I mean highly sensitive to environment, noise, you know.

01:01:56.640 Oh yeah, I am.

01:01:57.460 Heat, scent, like all sorts of things.

01:02:01.320 Like I really am that.

01:02:03.680 And it, it doesn't, it's a little, it'll come up and I'm like, I'm going to fucking kill this person.

01:02:08.840 Yeah.

01:02:09.160 But then I'm like, no, no, relax.

01:02:10.940 How can you surrender?

01:02:12.220 How can you just allow this reality to be since you have no control of it anyway?

01:02:17.580 Yeah, that's true.

01:02:18.540 But sometimes you got to fucking put the hammer down.

01:02:21.200 It's impossible sometimes not to put the fucking hammer down.

01:02:24.200 Yeah.

01:02:24.660 You know?

01:02:27.020 Yeah.

01:02:27.820 It's hectic.

01:02:28.860 It's an interesting, it's a, it's interesting these days.

01:02:31.480 I feel like serenity is definitely feels like more of a commodity, you know?

01:02:38.420 We're so, everything is so inundated.

01:02:40.980 And when you get like, especially you get on social media, you get on your phone.

01:02:43.640 I really feel like I fall into a war.

01:02:47.940 Hypnotized.

01:02:48.600 Yes.

01:02:49.040 And because I will literally come out of it and I'll tell people, I'll be like, I'm back.

01:02:52.640 I'll say that.

01:02:53.400 I find myself saying that.

01:02:54.460 Like I've just, just gone somewhere.

01:02:56.380 I've, I do.

01:02:57.620 I've started deleting it off my phone during the day.

01:02:59.980 Oh wow.

01:03:00.600 Because I just think it's a nightmare.

01:03:03.600 Instagram's, Instagram's whatever.

01:03:05.380 TikTok's a fucking hard one though.

01:03:06.680 I don't have TikTok.

01:03:07.480 Oh.

01:03:07.740 I'm not pulling you people in.

01:03:09.160 TikTok is good though.

01:03:10.380 But that's the problem though.

01:03:11.340 They fine tuned it and made it honestly.

01:03:14.360 Well, no, they just made it pretty good.

01:03:16.220 Like TikTok, I'm watching like a couple of, you know, you can watch somebody do knitting.

01:03:21.040 You can watch like just quiet Asians, dude.

01:03:23.660 It's like total.

01:03:24.480 You're just watching Asian people be quiet.

01:03:26.200 Like you can, there's so many things that's just like, you can watch somebody doing a cake.

01:03:30.320 You can watch somebody just turning the pages of a book.

01:03:33.600 Yeah.

01:03:34.180 Like it's definitely like they fucking, they went all out.

01:03:38.200 I just want less altogether.

01:03:40.880 Like I want to just become a movie star already so that I can move to fucking Montana.

01:03:47.640 Oh damn.

01:03:48.020 And fly in for my role and then go back out away from everyone.

01:03:54.040 Yeah.

01:03:54.560 Okay.

01:03:55.280 Yeah.

01:03:55.640 Yeah, I like that maybe.

01:04:01.020 I don't know.

01:04:01.580 You think you would like it out there on like a ranch or something?

01:04:04.760 Yes, I fucking would.

01:04:06.300 You do?

01:04:06.840 Yeah.

01:04:07.140 I don't, I just want to like, I, maybe I'm getting old.

01:04:10.900 I just like love the quiet.

01:04:12.680 Like I need to keep up with all this shit.

01:04:15.160 I don't care.

01:04:16.220 I don't want to, I don't need to see you cooking eggs.

01:04:18.580 But will you not have the ability to then to draw from stuff?

01:04:21.600 I mean, I know that's kind of like a, will you not have the ability to draw from stuff?

01:04:26.680 No, I have more.

01:04:27.560 Cause like I hike almost every day.

01:04:29.460 Like now I'm trying to be in nature.

01:04:31.780 Like a nature comic?

01:04:33.060 Yeah, I'm a nature comic.

01:04:34.600 No, I just get like when my mind is still, like it was when I was a kid and I didn't have

01:04:41.340 phones or anything and I would daydream or think up, make up worlds and all this imagination

01:04:47.160 and shit.

01:04:47.920 But like, that's when shit comes to me.

01:04:50.060 Like jokes always come to me when I'm in the shower, I'm getting a massage, I'm outside

01:04:55.540 away from a screen is when there's space for things to come into my head.

01:05:01.200 And I get, I can be like, think of silly things or think of like weird perspectives.

01:05:08.860 Do you, um, a lot of rich people are going to outer space, you know it?

01:05:14.140 Yeah, I've heard.

01:05:14.960 And do you think that, uh, do you think that that's fair?

01:05:21.500 Um, I try not to think about what's fair and not fair.

01:05:25.780 I feel like that.

01:05:26.960 I mean, I do in some ways, trust me, I want things to be like equitable for all people.

01:05:33.340 I mean, like, I don't know why that whole thing is happening.

01:05:37.820 They could redirect that money to things that need it.

01:05:41.420 Yeah.

01:05:41.740 But also, I mean, what do I, I have no control over it.

01:05:45.000 I don't fucking care.

01:05:46.160 But do you think, cause some people think there's like rich people are meeting up and

01:05:49.660 spare, like there's like another place that they're all.

01:05:55.900 That's fucking insane.

01:05:57.620 Tell me fucking this shit is weird.

01:05:59.040 I mean, that's crazy.

01:05:59.880 I have not heard that.

01:06:00.480 Like we're all at like Walmart and they're at like a Chick-fil-A in the sky, you know?

01:06:05.120 Wow.

01:06:05.560 Yeah.

01:06:05.960 No, I have not considered a Chick-fil-A in the sky yet.

01:06:11.580 Uh, cause it seems like that a little, you know, it seems like they're all going up there

01:06:15.400 and yeah, just look, you know, like, Oh, look at them.

01:06:17.420 Are you a conspiracy theorist?

01:06:18.240 Um, I'm not, I mean, I probably am somewhat.

01:06:20.860 But I think, I think certainly a lot more levels of like people wondering what's going

01:06:24.900 on, you know?

01:06:25.840 Yeah.

01:06:26.300 I think as you start to see like a lot of like, as we get further away from like any

01:06:30.300 type of faith and religion or any, like a lot of people do not have a real strong sense

01:06:35.080 of faith.

01:06:35.460 I don't think these days.

01:06:36.620 So I think when you get like out there like that, then you start to, people look at conspiracies

01:06:41.120 more.

01:06:41.360 They want, they're looking for something.

01:06:42.880 People are always looking for something to believe in.

01:06:45.740 And I feel like a reason, a person, you know, like a, they want, uh, an answer.

01:06:50.940 Do you have faith?

01:06:52.100 Yeah.

01:06:53.020 Like in a Judeo-Christian God or what?

01:06:55.940 Yeah.

01:06:56.320 I mean, I believe in God.

01:06:57.340 I believe in a higher power.

01:06:58.640 And for me, I use God as that, as the sidewalk for that, for me.

01:07:03.360 Yeah.

01:07:03.620 So I think different people use different things, you know?

01:07:05.840 Yeah.

01:07:06.160 I mean, I've tried on many different things.

01:07:08.540 Yeah?

01:07:08.940 Yeah.

01:07:09.260 Yeah.

01:07:10.340 Um, but now I just think of God as like divine loving intelligence.

01:07:15.740 Like completely divorced of all religion though.

01:07:18.980 Religion, I don't know, at this point, doesn't really seem like it for me.

01:07:25.320 Like when I think of the Catholic shit, I'm just like, that's fucking insane.

01:07:29.560 Like how are these flocks not arrested ever?

01:07:32.580 Yeah.

01:07:33.020 Like, what do you mean?

01:07:34.060 Like for what?

01:07:35.160 Like the Catholic rape thing.

01:07:37.120 I went to Catholic school.

01:07:38.820 There was a priest at every school I went to was transferred.

01:07:43.300 Oh yeah.

01:07:43.880 And then I saw like a, I saw a headline the other day that France, just France, has had

01:07:50.860 like 350,000 abused kids by the Catholic church.

01:07:54.400 Well, imagine being romantically molested.

01:07:57.120 But I'm like, that's fucking insane how that they're fully, a religion is fully protected

01:08:02.200 globally where it's basically legal sex abuse.

01:08:07.120 Yeah.

01:08:07.380 That's crazy.

01:08:09.100 That's totally crazy.

01:08:09.940 Well, it's also, I mean, it's like, and then that also that they don't pay taxes.

01:08:13.180 It's crazy that none of these things are like charged.

01:08:15.680 There's like, it's unbelievable.

01:08:18.420 And especially when it's like people need, they want some reason.

01:08:21.540 They want some, you know, a lot of people want church.

01:08:25.460 They are also brought up in churches.

01:08:26.960 So it's like a comfortable place.

01:08:28.340 You know, one of the things I love about church is like you go and you see like kids are playing

01:08:32.680 together.

01:08:33.260 It's fun.

01:08:33.620 It's like a fun place.

01:08:34.600 Families get together.

01:08:35.860 Yes.

01:08:36.240 It's, it's, it's a family oriented thing.

01:08:38.980 That's the thing I love about it.

01:08:40.060 That's one thing to me that's really nice.

01:08:41.600 There's a lot of really good things like, but it's crazy why they cover these guys up.

01:08:45.760 Why they like, why don't they send, they would be, has so much more integrity if they

01:08:50.640 shipped all those fuckers to jail.

01:08:52.820 To Australia.

01:08:53.300 And they said, we're, they put them in jail.

01:08:56.100 They said, we are cleaning out our institution.

01:08:58.940 Yeah, but they're not doing that.

01:09:00.120 And then you would be like, oh, bravo.

01:09:02.440 You know, like, good.

01:09:03.760 But Hollywood could do the same thing.

01:09:05.180 Hollywood is just a fucking, it's a fucking, it's definitely a religion.

01:09:08.840 Yeah.

01:09:09.120 Our coworkers are, we're amongst them.

01:09:12.000 It's great.

01:09:12.820 I love saying hello to them all the time.

01:09:15.020 Hello at my place of work.

01:09:17.140 It's really good.

01:09:19.000 But do you.

01:09:19.520 Hi Blair.

01:09:20.020 Yeah.

01:09:20.220 Hello.

01:09:20.520 Do you think it brings, but then I think that just goes back to just how much, like,

01:09:26.760 there's just a damaged element to being human.

01:09:30.780 A hundred percent.

01:09:31.640 It is humanity.

01:09:34.100 And look, even the best person on earth has done horrible things.

01:09:38.200 Yeah.

01:09:38.420 John Legend.

01:09:39.140 The best person on earth.

01:09:42.180 And like.

01:09:43.220 And that was a joke, but yeah.

01:09:44.320 I mean, everybody's a piece of shit.

01:09:46.120 You can't not.

01:09:47.000 It's not a piece of shit.

01:09:48.240 It's just like.

01:09:49.300 But everybody has shit on them.

01:09:50.400 It's, of course.

01:09:51.700 Everybody has shit on their shoes.

01:09:53.060 And some people in their shoes.

01:09:55.200 Yeah.

01:09:55.660 It's, it's really confusing.

01:09:57.080 And like, I try.

01:09:59.700 One of the things I'm really working on is like not taking things personally.

01:10:04.440 Yeah.

01:10:04.740 Just trying that on.

01:10:06.240 And it's hard.

01:10:08.120 Cause you're, but it's like when, as I'm setting this intention, I'm seeing it more clearly

01:10:13.920 that like when someone does something to piss me off, they're not even thinking about me.

01:10:18.720 They're fully viewing it through their own fucked up lens or whatever pain they're going

01:10:22.800 through.

01:10:23.200 You know what I mean?

01:10:23.900 Right.

01:10:24.380 Yeah.

01:10:24.800 Right.

01:10:25.020 And we've also gotten so in our own world that that's the only lens we even have anymore.

01:10:28.560 So you're not even looking at things as a two-way street.

01:10:30.900 I noticed a few years ago when the elevator would open, people would get in.

01:10:35.520 It used to always be.

01:10:37.400 Yeah.

01:10:38.040 It was always.

01:10:39.080 Yeah.

01:10:39.360 People got out first.

01:10:40.520 You wait.

01:10:41.160 It was just a natural thing.

01:10:42.420 And then now people get in as it's like, it's all kind of, I don't know.

01:10:51.000 It's hard to know if it's, it's hard to know if how much of what we are like suffering from

01:10:58.220 or will suffer from if, if it's like side effects of like society or if it's just like

01:11:06.620 this, this flaw inside of us.

01:11:09.620 I don't know.

01:11:10.260 It's all of it.

01:11:10.900 It's too much.

01:11:11.660 It's not a flaw.

01:11:13.020 I would encourage you to think of it differently.

01:11:17.100 What I like, you know, the guy I learned of breath work, bro.

01:11:20.620 He divine healing as just, what I love about it is because it takes all the pathology away.

01:11:27.240 And just a healing is just like giving love to the places that hurt, you know, instead

01:11:32.680 of like broken illness, like all these like things that we think are flaws or are broken

01:11:41.640 brokenness or like make us unlovable.

01:11:44.600 And that is something I love about breath work because it's so pure.

01:11:48.420 It's just something giving your God given like natural structure, putting it to use and remembering

01:11:56.180 the divinity of who you are.

01:11:58.560 Yeah, it's a lot.

01:12:03.940 Do you think that like, but if we didn't have like flaw, if we didn't, do you think we ever

01:12:09.660 get to a place where it's all evened out or it's just always this constant?

01:12:13.780 No, because that would be perfection.

01:12:18.940 Perfection doesn't exist.

01:12:21.020 And like trying for that is pain.

01:12:23.560 Like, you know, when you get into it, like, of course you want to be stable and you want

01:12:29.360 to be feeling good a majority of the time.

01:12:31.460 But I think the definition of mental health is being able to feel the full spectrum of

01:12:37.940 emotions in a healthy way.

01:12:40.460 Yeah.

01:12:41.860 Yeah.

01:12:42.300 I would say that that's probably sounds pretty fair to me.

01:12:45.140 I would like that.

01:12:46.820 Yeah.

01:12:47.520 But like when we like when I think then you get into spiritual bypassing, which is like

01:12:52.940 toxic positivity, which isn't like actually addressing how you feel or whatever as some

01:13:00.080 way of like enlightenment.

01:13:01.660 And the fact is, we're just all human, you know?

01:13:04.980 Yeah.

01:13:05.460 I thought being human would be easier.

01:13:07.080 No, no, because everyone's dealt like whatever cards are dealt.

01:13:12.820 And I think it's just like our cosmic lessons on Earth.

01:13:16.660 Yeah.

01:13:17.140 I think for some reason I felt like it would be easier.

01:13:19.880 I feel like it looks pretty good from from where I'm sitting.

01:13:25.640 Oh, thank you.

01:13:26.960 I didn't wash my hair two days ago.

01:13:28.840 I meant your life.

01:13:30.840 Oh, yeah.

01:13:32.160 Yeah.

01:13:32.220 No, my life is.

01:13:33.320 Yeah.

01:13:33.780 I think it doesn't matter.

01:13:34.880 It's always like what you are.

01:13:37.780 Yeah.

01:13:38.180 I don't know.

01:13:38.680 I felt like I always felt like if I got to a certain level of like doing well in my job

01:13:45.600 or maybe then I would then everything would be OK.

01:13:50.720 I think I had this preconceived notion in my head that like all these other things that

01:13:55.380 I worry about or feel or these discomforts will disappear.

01:13:58.700 So when I started to have some success and that didn't happen, I think I was like kind

01:14:03.980 of like there was a part of me I didn't even know this motor was running that expected this.

01:14:08.780 Yeah.

01:14:08.960 You know, and it was like, oh, you're still just, you know, with with your weights.

01:14:15.220 I think that's completely natural thought.

01:14:19.060 Like we're all looking for something to save us, whether it's like success, love, whatever

01:14:25.560 it is.

01:14:26.320 Yeah.

01:14:26.780 Botox orthotics.

01:14:29.180 Um, yeah, but I think like wealth and money and success really just brings out even more

01:14:37.140 of what is already there.

01:14:38.360 Yeah.

01:14:39.500 Um, I'm sure it makes a lot of other things easier.

01:14:42.840 Well, Mark Norman said it best about having a little bit of money.

01:14:45.160 Here's what makes easier.

01:14:45.960 If you are cold or something and you're at like a gas station or something, you don't

01:14:49.960 have to like, you know, you don't have to look at the price of the suite.

01:14:52.480 You're like, OK, I just can get this sweatshirt.

01:14:54.600 You know, like little things like that are kind of nicer.

01:14:56.780 Like, do I need like what?

01:14:58.800 How much is this lunch?

01:14:59.740 It's like it saves you a little bit of time and having to look at some price.

01:15:02.400 If it's something big like a car or something, you're going to look.

01:15:05.280 But like for, you know, it's like that kind of stuff is a little bit

01:15:08.220 nice.

01:15:08.540 You don't have to think about the cost of like, you know, really a meal maybe or

01:15:11.900 something, you know?

01:15:12.620 Yeah.

01:15:13.100 Those things are kind of a little bit nice to have to have happen maybe.

01:15:16.900 Um, so take me.

01:15:18.080 So I tried ketamine therapy was one thing that I tried like in the past seven months,

01:15:22.440 maybe.

01:15:23.080 How many times did you do it?

01:15:24.320 I did six times.

01:15:25.200 So it was six, six sessions.

01:15:26.740 Cool.

01:15:27.040 You sit with a therapist in a room and they fill you up and then you, you know, are talking

01:15:32.120 with this therapist, this psychiatrist the whole time.

01:15:35.600 Yeah.

01:15:35.860 So you're kind of going through things and like sharing and, um, I found that that was

01:15:40.540 really interesting.

01:15:41.220 I felt maybe for like trauma, like one specific trauma or something.

01:15:46.360 Did you go deep in that?

01:15:48.920 I was, sometimes I was off the wall.

01:15:51.020 I mean, I was like in another echelon.

01:15:53.980 Did you find it helpful?

01:15:55.720 I found it helpful.

01:15:56.940 Some, I got to have some moments like I got to spend time with my dad for like about 45

01:16:03.040 seconds, which was pretty cool.

01:16:05.260 Yeah.

01:16:05.500 That's really cool.

01:16:06.360 Yeah.

01:16:06.560 Just to let him know that I loved him.

01:16:08.060 I felt like he never knew maybe.

01:16:09.600 Wow.

01:16:10.200 And it felt real.

01:16:11.280 Like it felt as real as this sitting here talking to you.

01:16:14.160 Yeah.

01:16:14.180 That's really beautiful.

01:16:15.180 So to have something like that happen where it's like, um, I got to see my mom when she

01:16:19.520 was a little kid, which was pretty powerful.

01:16:22.020 I felt like, um, you know, uh, so they do like inner child work.

01:16:28.500 I don't know.

01:16:29.220 The dude had a big beard.

01:16:30.180 I know that was running it.

01:16:31.300 So I'm sure he's fucking definitely done some things, man.

01:16:34.040 This dude, he had one of those crazy fucking, you know, no, in your child.

01:16:38.300 Did you work with your inner child?

01:16:40.880 No, no, no.

01:16:41.620 We didn't see him.

01:16:42.840 We was more just doing like regular.

01:16:45.800 I feel like that's like a big direction that people are going in with therapy and healing

01:16:51.580 is just like going back to your inner child.

01:16:54.640 Yeah.

01:16:55.020 Cause they say like your entire subconscious blueprint for the rest of the, your life

01:17:00.540 is developed from zero to seven years old.

01:17:03.040 Wow.

01:17:03.480 So whatever goes down then is really like your whole framework, which is so crazy because

01:17:10.900 it's completely out of our control.

01:17:12.340 Yeah.

01:17:13.380 So.

01:17:15.380 Yeah.

01:17:16.140 Yeah.

01:17:16.460 I, I, I went to this other place called PCS for a week and it's like, um, like this

01:17:21.680 guy, Bobby Lee, this comedian recommended to me.

01:17:23.740 Do you know who that is?

01:17:25.080 So, and he's, I think Vietnamese or something, but he recommended it to me and he, um, uh,

01:17:32.180 that place is all about your inner child.

01:17:33.680 Like you got to go to build a bear and get like a little child.

01:17:36.300 Yeah.

01:17:36.620 So you're in there with like a bunch of, yeah, it's really, I've done shit like that.

01:17:39.920 It is so dicey.

01:17:40.760 We're in there.

01:17:41.280 There's like a bunch of, oh yeah.

01:17:43.100 There's like, there's like a bunch of grown men in this build a bear and there's like a

01:17:46.800 bunch of kids in there.

01:17:48.020 There's like a kid's party and we're fucking putting dresses and like, oh yeah, this one

01:17:52.680 will wear it.

01:17:53.020 It looked good in a baseball outfit.

01:17:54.360 Like, so then you're leaving the mall with your bears.

01:17:57.220 Like, oh, it's heartbreaking.

01:17:59.920 Yeah.

01:18:00.440 It is heartbreaking.

01:18:01.340 Wait, did you get a lot out of it?

01:18:01.740 And then somebody's like, dude, you're DL, you're my favorite comedian.

01:18:04.460 You're fucking buying a bear.

01:18:07.620 You're buying a bear, dude.

01:18:09.420 And this lady putting the stuffing in there, the one lady, her fucking gum, I remember

01:18:13.780 fell on the stuffing thing and she's like, it's just a nightmare in there.

01:18:18.440 Just a real, but it was kind of like how God does it.

01:18:21.140 It was like, you know, you got all this cotton and you're just fucking stuffing it into these

01:18:25.240 bears, dude.

01:18:26.140 And you're just sending them out the door, you know?

01:18:28.320 And sometimes there's some bad knitting.

01:18:30.280 Yeah.

01:18:30.580 No shit.

01:18:31.280 Yeah.

01:18:31.480 Did you, did you get a lot out of it or no?

01:18:34.260 It was pretty fast.

01:18:34.960 I, uh, some of it I did some EMDR.

01:18:37.040 I noticed I would be real judgmental going into some of the sessions, like just like,

01:18:42.120 um, you know, judgment is like something that keeps me, it's a, like a preventative

01:18:49.080 thing to keep me from connections.

01:18:51.140 And so I'm going to have to have some feelings or something.

01:18:53.420 So there was stuff like that.

01:18:55.100 Uh, it was kind of exhausting.

01:18:57.080 Some of the therapies, it was like some group stuff I didn't like, but there was some stuff

01:19:00.180 I really did like.

01:19:01.480 Yeah.

01:19:01.880 I find like that group stuff.

01:19:04.140 I mean, now I've worked on it and stuff, but like at first I was like, no fucking way.

01:19:10.080 I was like, I'm not talking about anything like in a group or in front of people, which

01:19:14.140 is so weird.

01:19:14.920 Cause like when I've been doing comedy, like I speak publicly in front of crowds all the

01:19:20.460 time.

01:19:20.720 But like when it was about serious shit, like, no, it took me a long time, but that ended

01:19:27.280 up being like the most healing thing for me.

01:19:30.200 Uh, doing group therapy.

01:19:31.960 It wasn't group therapy.

01:19:33.080 It's 12 step, uh, but I don't want to say that which one.

01:19:36.560 Right.

01:19:36.820 So like recovery.

01:19:37.800 Yeah.

01:19:38.040 Recovery.

01:19:38.760 Um, recovery, I feel like is the best overall solution that I've found.

01:19:41.900 Honestly, do you feel that way or no?

01:19:43.440 Totally.

01:19:44.040 And it ended up being because the community, cause like, you know, where I grew up, uh,

01:19:50.680 it's just, no one talks about mental health.

01:19:52.900 No one talks about anything like never heard any, no one talks about their problems.

01:19:58.620 Like it's very buttoned up and that's the way my family was too.

01:20:02.780 And I'm just the total opposite.

01:20:04.160 Like I'm very sensitive.

01:20:05.660 I feel a lot of things.

01:20:06.980 I'm interested in a lot of things.

01:20:08.300 Like I want to talk about things.

01:20:10.280 Um, and so when I got to recovery, like, and I, I remember when I first saw people I

01:20:15.920 knew cause it's LA and there's like a lot of people and entertainment in there, of course.

01:20:21.500 And I was like, I was trying to hide from them.

01:20:24.900 Like it didn't cross my mind that they're there too.

01:20:27.340 I was just like, Oh no, they're seeing me here.

01:20:31.040 Right.

01:20:31.180 You know, um, yeah.

01:20:33.000 I even think that way on zoom meetings sometimes.

01:20:34.880 Yeah.

01:20:35.540 I was on one yesterday.

01:20:36.280 I didn't want to show my face cause I'm like, Oh, you don't want to be, you don't want to

01:20:40.420 be like known in this private way.

01:20:43.820 So I didn't talk like the first couple of years, but then when I started talking is like

01:20:48.260 when I experienced a lot of, uh, progression.

01:20:53.000 And how was the, uh, ayahuasca?

01:20:54.840 Tell me about that experience.

01:20:55.900 Take me through that.

01:20:56.600 Uh, it was really cool.

01:20:58.740 I, uh, I'd wanted to do it forever.

01:21:00.640 I'm just like curious.

01:21:02.300 And, um, Ron White did it too recently.

01:21:04.640 Oh really?

01:21:04.960 Yeah.

01:21:05.140 He did it at a damn best Western in outside.

01:21:10.560 I want to say in Houston, near Houston.

01:21:12.440 Yeah.

01:21:12.840 Nobody tell my parents I did ayahuasca.

01:21:14.760 They really wouldn't like that.

01:21:15.880 Um, but, uh, I, after I got vaccinated, I did it.

01:21:20.880 I knew I was going to go back on the road.

01:21:22.400 And then I was like, what if I like fall in love and like get married and I probably,

01:21:28.660 and have children.

01:21:29.440 I'm not going to be able to like be a mom that goes and does DMT.

01:21:33.880 You know what I mean?

01:21:34.140 You got to do it now.

01:21:34.840 Yeah.

01:21:35.100 I got to do it now.

01:21:35.760 So I just saw like a window and it was really, the window came actually, uh, everyone had

01:21:41.180 always said like, don't do it in LA.

01:21:42.680 It's like sketchy white people, whatever.

01:21:44.740 I'd always want to go to the Amazon, but I was like, I don't see that.

01:21:46.860 Go to Memphis and do it, dude.

01:21:48.140 That's I'm sure a real dicey dose.

01:21:50.200 Yeah.

01:21:50.420 Um, okay.

01:21:51.220 Go on.

01:21:51.580 So I found like, uh, I had found like a tangible, someone had had a great experience.

01:21:56.360 And so I just went, I went by myself, which the day of when I was like driving to this

01:22:01.420 sketchy ass property, I was like, this might be a bad idea.

01:22:06.620 Was it off of Melrose?

01:22:07.780 No, it was like an hour outside of LA in a tiny farming town.

01:22:12.840 And I was like driving up to this like desolate property.

01:22:15.740 And I was like, this is a bad idea.

01:22:17.020 But I texted my friend, I was like three of my friends.

01:22:19.600 I was like, here's the address.

01:22:20.700 Check in at this time.

01:22:22.040 And immediately like their guardians, um, the men, when they said hello, they hugged you.

01:22:28.120 And I was like, I don't like this.

01:22:30.060 Yeah.

01:22:30.440 That's I do not like the forced over familiarity.

01:22:33.860 Like, I don't want you to hug me.

01:22:36.160 Two arm hug or one arm hug?

01:22:37.640 I do.

01:22:39.240 Oh, yeah.

01:22:40.520 Like, hello?

01:22:41.380 From a man?

01:22:42.020 Were they wearing jewelry?

01:22:42.860 When I was like this, um, there was some jewelry for sure.

01:22:46.900 But it ended up, I was like, I could.

01:22:49.920 If somebody with two arms and jewelry hugs you, dude, I'm calling the cops, dude.

01:22:54.440 Yeah, but I was like, I guess I'm in.

01:22:57.380 Like, I did the whole separation.

01:22:58.320 And it was just you by yourself?

01:22:59.960 It was me by myself.

01:23:01.160 No, dude.

01:23:02.620 How?

01:23:03.520 No, there was a huge group of people, but I didn't know anyone.

01:23:07.600 I never met those people.

01:23:08.420 Right, because I would feel like if you'd gone through, like, sexual trauma and then

01:23:11.600 you roll up to three dudes at a damn ranch.

01:23:13.860 Oh, no.

01:23:14.480 I would have.

01:23:15.140 Fuck it.

01:23:15.940 Get the fuck out.

01:23:17.360 I would have sprint.

01:23:18.640 I would sprint out of there.

01:23:21.180 You just roll up to just hitting a volleyball around you like this.

01:23:24.380 Yeah.

01:23:25.280 Hey, what's up?

01:23:26.240 We're here for round two.

01:23:28.340 No, like, I, I, uh, it was.

01:23:33.660 Sorry, I interrupted your story.

01:23:34.500 No, it's okay.

01:23:35.340 But it ended up being really, really cool.

01:23:37.900 Wow.

01:23:38.040 I had, you have to prepare so much, like, you can't, um, drink, smoke, like, I don't

01:23:45.160 smoke, but you can't, like, meet, caffeine, all these things, like, before.

01:23:49.520 So there's, like, a whole large preparation.

01:23:52.700 Um, and then, uh, I listened to podcasts and documentaries and basically they're all,

01:23:58.480 like, like, Aubrey Marcus and stuff.

01:24:00.940 And they're all sad, like, you're going to go to the darkest fucking place.

01:24:05.820 You're going to experience terror.

01:24:07.420 But then on the other side, you'll feel great.

01:24:10.080 And so I went in there, like, I was just like, it's just going to take me and I'm going to

01:24:14.840 go and I'm just going to hold on.

01:24:17.020 Whatever.

01:24:17.140 Your eye black on.

01:24:17.960 Yeah, yeah.

01:24:18.980 I was like.

01:24:19.380 Get a sharp tampon in.

01:24:20.160 Yeah, I was like, I can fucking do this.

01:24:22.460 And that was, like, the full opposite experience.

01:24:25.100 Really?

01:24:25.300 I got, I was taken to, like, a pink marshmallow jungle.

01:24:30.080 And, like, my message, because, like, you know, my thing has been learning to feel safe

01:24:34.340 in my body was, like, that the universe is kind, which sounds like a really, uh, anti-climatic

01:24:42.320 distillation, but, and trite.

01:24:45.600 But that's really, like, it went in me.

01:24:47.880 Yeah, that's good.

01:24:48.660 That's a cool, that's an amazing message to have in you, to have you in your fucking

01:24:52.060 marrow after that.

01:24:54.080 That's huge.

01:24:54.700 Yeah, but they also said they'd never heard someone cry like that.

01:24:57.520 Really?

01:24:58.160 Yeah.

01:24:58.620 And do you cry, like, on all fours?

01:25:00.440 Do you cry standing up?

01:25:01.420 Are you leaning against something?

01:25:02.660 Like, what is the vibe in there?

01:25:03.920 Um, they're, like, you have, sort of, like, the, you're on the ground with, like, these

01:25:09.800 padded chairs, and they're playing, um, you know, the Icarus, like, they're playing music

01:25:15.380 the whole time, and there's all these rituals, and it's very sacred, and all this stuff.

01:25:18.520 And is the AC on or not?

01:25:21.220 I don't, I think so, I'm not sure, I don't remember, but it was, it was really crazy.

01:25:27.980 I, I done much, the drug I like is mushrooms, that's really the only drug I do.

01:25:32.080 Um, and I'd never seen visuals before, like, this, I didn't know your brain could even see

01:25:42.640 those things.

01:25:43.920 Yeah.

01:25:44.380 Yeah.

01:25:45.180 It sounds like DM, like, something like DMT or something like that.

01:25:47.980 It is DMT, that's what I was saying.

01:25:49.060 Oh, it is, okay.

01:25:50.080 But from the Amazon, but, you know, for breath work, you can have a psychedelic experience

01:25:55.600 because we have a certain amount of DMT in our spinal fluid.

01:25:59.320 Mm.

01:25:59.780 Everyone does.

01:26:00.520 So, you can, through the alkalization of your blood, sometimes, like, I've had full

01:26:08.760 visuals during breath work before.

01:26:10.760 Wow.

01:26:11.260 Really?

01:26:12.260 Yeah.

01:26:13.520 I haven't had that yet.

01:26:14.340 Or, like, weird memories pop in where you're like, I haven't thought about that in 20 years,

01:26:19.320 or, or just, like, a solution just, like, pops into, like, something, and you're like,

01:26:26.180 why didn't I think about that before, you know?

01:26:28.000 Yeah.

01:26:29.280 Yeah, it is such a relief when you can kind of do something different with your brain.

01:26:32.920 I feel like some of my brain gets tired of just being on the road, you know?

01:26:36.220 I feel like your brain's all over the road.

01:26:36.920 The road is really exhausting and really hard on your body and spirit.

01:26:43.160 Yeah.

01:26:43.340 Especially if you're a really sensitive person to your environment.

01:26:48.660 Yeah.

01:26:48.960 I would believe that.

01:26:51.260 You ain't never done ayahuasca.

01:26:52.280 I met a guy at a smoothie shop in Maui that gave me some, he was a shaman.

01:26:59.380 Mm-hmm.

01:27:00.280 Or he had, I mean, he had sandals on, and he was out, you know, he was out, he was,

01:27:04.340 he definitely, he had a buddy with, like, he had a buddy who literally, it was, like,

01:27:07.840 standing with armfuls of vitamins.

01:27:09.960 And, uh, and they gave me a bunch of vitamins, and then the guy took me to, like, a, they

01:27:16.500 were doing, like, childcare, like, even at their house, and I'm in there just, like,

01:27:19.580 relax, and they had me relaxed out, and next thing you know, I'm out on the DMT.

01:27:23.060 Oh, you did DMT?

01:27:23.920 Yeah.

01:27:24.320 And it was really, that really blew my mind.

01:27:26.200 I can't even believe that that has ever even existed in the universe, and then that

01:27:29.760 can happen.

01:27:30.560 Wow.

01:27:31.040 I don't even know what, um, taking DMT would.

01:27:34.900 Probably be very similar to the ayahuasca experience, I bet.

01:27:37.380 It's really hardcore.

01:27:38.300 But what the purpose of it is, is the tough thing.

01:27:40.340 I don't really know exactly.

01:27:41.840 I would, like, that made me realize, you know, I've done mushrooms and stuff, but I

01:27:46.440 was, like, this was, like, a really sacred thing, and I was, like, I don't need to, in

01:27:51.700 my lifetime, be fucking around with, like, drugs outside of, like, this very controlled,

01:27:58.940 sacred environment.

01:28:00.600 For me, I don't have any judgment to other people, but.

01:28:03.600 How long were you at the ayahuasca place?

01:28:05.600 I was there for a weekend, and you take, um, three cups a night, but most people don't

01:28:11.400 get to the third cup, and each cup is a level one through ten, but it's completely arbitrary.

01:28:17.800 Like, a one could hit someone at a ten, and a ten could just be, like, not a big deal

01:28:22.560 for someone.

01:28:23.380 Oh, my God.

01:28:23.740 So, it's, like, yeah, you really have to be open to whatever experience, because you

01:28:30.040 never, you have no idea what's going to happen.

01:28:32.120 And do you, like, defecate yourself?

01:28:33.800 Are people wearing diapers and stuff?

01:28:35.240 Because I always heard a lot about, like, yeah, you, like, purge your body.

01:28:37.720 Are people vomiting and urinating and stuff?

01:28:39.860 Um, I did not shit my pants, thank you, Jesus.

01:28:43.720 Um, but I did throw up both nights.

01:28:46.220 It wasn't a big deal, like, it was really fast, and then they, the guardians come clear

01:28:51.280 the bucket really fast.

01:28:53.060 Um, I think some people do go to the bathroom.

01:28:56.060 I don't think people shit themselves.

01:28:58.400 The second night, I was, like, out of my body.

01:29:02.480 It was, like, it was so intense.

01:29:05.140 And are you, are there other people around?

01:29:07.700 Yeah, they're all around you.

01:29:08.920 You're in a really big circle.

01:29:10.140 It's, like, Vietnam, kind of?

01:29:10.760 Yeah, they're, like, people were on both sides, and they're, like, this.

01:29:14.560 And they have all the women on one side and all the men on one side, like.

01:29:17.800 And are people tickling each other and shit?

01:29:19.360 No, you're not allowed to touch anyone.

01:29:20.960 Oh, wow.

01:29:21.840 They, like, enforce everything so hard so that everyone's, like, safe.

01:29:25.380 And are there referees?

01:29:26.280 Is there a guy, like, roller, it reminds me, I'm getting, like, this vibe of, like,

01:29:28.920 a roller skating rink where the guy's, like, you know, there's some guy, like.

01:29:32.120 No.

01:29:32.480 No, it's not like that at all.

01:29:35.760 Like, they take it so seriously, and there's people taking care of anyone that needs to

01:29:39.900 be taken care of.

01:29:42.480 But, yeah, it's a whole experience.

01:29:45.640 You have to prepare so much.

01:29:47.000 It takes a lot out of you, like, spiritually and physically.

01:29:50.840 And, yeah.

01:29:51.660 Yeah.

01:29:52.720 Hmm.

01:29:55.440 How's comedy going?

01:29:56.380 Do you feel good about it?

01:29:57.240 How long have you been doing it now?

01:29:59.200 It's good.

01:30:01.140 I've been doing it.

01:30:01.540 I just didn't know what else to ask about it.

01:30:02.620 I've been doing it, like, a little over eight years.

01:30:05.360 Oh, that's awesome.

01:30:06.740 It's good.

01:30:07.640 Like, I'm, you know, booking stuff and starting to feel like I am on my way to success.

01:30:19.460 I just did a movie.

01:30:20.560 I'm on a new Comedy Central show.

01:30:23.280 Things are going well.

01:30:25.740 Yeah.

01:30:26.500 That's exciting.

01:30:27.240 It is, because I don't want to be fucking broke.

01:30:29.740 I want to be rich.

01:30:30.860 Yeah.

01:30:31.340 Yeah.

01:30:32.300 Yeah.

01:30:32.800 I mean, people want to be rich, man.

01:30:34.740 I mean, but what a better joy.

01:30:38.340 I mean, because I've been so experienced being broke for so long.

01:30:42.240 And, like, what a joy to have found a way to make money doing what you love.

01:30:50.540 Yeah.

01:30:50.860 Yeah, I mean, it's such a gift.

01:30:54.140 Like, I don't take it for granted at all.

01:30:56.580 Like, any paycheck I get, it's just, like, a miracle, because I'm having so much fun.

01:31:02.020 And I could have just quit on myself so early on in some marketing job.

01:31:07.700 Not that there's anything wrong with a marketing job.

01:31:10.060 It just wasn't right for my wild soul.

01:31:13.520 Right.

01:31:14.220 Yeah.

01:31:14.760 Yeah.

01:31:16.000 Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing a little bit of marketing.

01:31:17.680 I got a degree in urban planning.

01:31:20.860 Really?

01:31:21.480 Yeah.

01:31:21.980 Wow.

01:31:22.460 What do you fucking plan?

01:31:24.400 We could do, like, neighborhoods.

01:31:27.000 And, like, if, say, if, like, a mailman's coming, like, you know, then we design, like,

01:31:31.600 what route to take through the neighborhood.

01:31:33.500 Wow.

01:31:33.820 We do a lot of, like.

01:31:35.040 Like Sims.

01:31:36.460 Yeah, kind of like Sims, actually.

01:31:37.740 That's pretty good.

01:31:38.480 Yeah.

01:31:38.800 It's like Sims.

01:31:39.860 Yeah, Theo Sims.

01:31:40.680 Yeah.

01:31:41.580 Maybe that'd be, maybe I'll start a Theo Sims game.

01:31:45.080 But, yeah, I was doing, we do urban planning, where to put the power lines, where to put

01:31:49.980 the bike path.

01:31:51.180 We do all that.

01:31:52.260 How's comedy going for you?

01:31:54.020 We do all that.

01:31:54.920 It's going pretty good, I think, you know.

01:31:56.580 I'm doing a new tour right now, so I'm pretty excited about that.

01:31:59.800 With Ari?

01:32:01.480 Yep.

01:32:02.120 Ari Maness is out there sometimes, most of the time, actually.

01:32:05.220 Ari's a new friend of mine.

01:32:06.740 Oh, he is?

01:32:07.600 Yeah.

01:32:07.880 Oh, yeah, he's good.

01:32:08.720 He'll definitely be in, he'll be in recovery at some point.

01:32:12.040 But, uh, until then, man, you know, he just sometimes hears me on these Zoom meetings.

01:32:17.560 He's a wild dude.

01:32:18.520 Oh, yeah, he's one of a kind.

01:32:19.920 I mean, he is definitely something else.

01:32:21.640 I did his podcast.

01:32:22.760 Oh, you did?

01:32:23.560 Mm-hmm.

01:32:23.840 Oh, I hear, now I see.

01:32:26.580 Ari getting these guests first.

01:32:29.300 That's cool.

01:32:29.980 No, he's a sweetheart.

01:32:32.100 I'm lucky to have, you know, I feel lucky when I'm around him.

01:32:34.900 He makes things.

01:32:36.240 He's so, I mean, there's just, the guys, there's so many things about him.

01:32:39.840 Yeah, he's so wild, dude.

01:32:41.700 Yeah, he's definitely a real snake owner.

01:32:44.800 You know?

01:32:45.900 He's definitely, and that's not a euphemism, the guy owns snakes.

01:32:49.380 Ew.

01:32:50.060 So, yeah.

01:32:50.580 I didn't know that about him.

01:32:52.400 Yeah.

01:32:53.020 Ari, if you see this, that's fucking nasty.

01:32:55.780 Yeah.

01:32:56.820 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:57.560 He knows it is.

01:32:58.480 I think that's why he does it.

01:32:59.440 All right, I'm praying for you, Ari.

01:33:01.000 You need it.

01:33:01.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:33:03.660 He does need it.

01:33:05.920 Blair Saki, I appreciate it.

01:33:07.280 Thanks for coming and chatting with me and hanging out.

01:33:08.900 Yeah, for sure.

01:33:09.820 It was really fun to talk to you outside of Breathwork.

01:33:13.400 I know.

01:33:13.660 It's crazy because we only talk to each other on Zoom.

01:33:15.440 Yeah.

01:33:16.160 Yeah.

01:33:18.000 Yeah, it's so crazy.

01:33:20.100 That's how you talk to someone on Zoom.

01:33:23.240 Yeah, because I don't really know you, but I know one specific little intimate part.

01:33:28.740 Right, that I like to breathe deep.

01:33:31.320 Yeah.

01:33:32.720 Here's what's fascinating.

01:33:33.520 See, if you've never done this, the lesson you give, I mean, I have to inhale and exhale

01:33:38.660 for about 25 minutes.

01:33:40.900 Like about 30, and it's really-

01:33:43.140 It's rigorous.

01:33:44.280 It's really, really hard.

01:33:46.120 I was telling Colin that I experience more resistance to doing it than working out.

01:33:52.340 Yeah.

01:33:52.560 Like I would rather work out than do it because it's so hard to get, to make yourself do that

01:33:58.600 consistent rhythm for 30 minutes.

01:34:00.760 Yeah.

01:34:01.160 It's really hard.

01:34:02.960 Yeah, I'm trying to think.

01:34:03.660 So this is how I was doing it just so you, because I was like, do I need to speed it up

01:34:10.860 or does it matter?

01:34:12.280 No, you're supposed to go at your own pace.

01:34:13.980 The way that I teach the class, I've told you this, but it starts out slow and gets faster.

01:34:19.720 Okay, yeah.

01:34:20.500 And then, you know, you do it.

01:34:21.700 Because I do hear you say, 5% more, let's get 5% more, guys.

01:34:23.940 Then I'm like on a fucking Peloton side of the way.

01:34:25.680 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:26.380 What's going on, you know?

01:34:28.860 That doesn't mean faster or harder, but it's more into your stomach.

01:34:32.680 And then, like, you experience the Shavasana portion where you just rest and, like, feel

01:34:40.880 it, all the work you just did, like, coursing through your body.

01:34:43.660 It's so cool.

01:34:44.540 Oh, yeah.

01:34:45.040 I feel it up in here.

01:34:46.280 Yeah.

01:34:46.940 I feel that shit ripping.

01:34:48.940 Yeah, or, like, if you have physical ailments, like, it can be really cool for that.

01:34:54.060 Oh, it feels like fucking a bunch of heavy monkeys are pulling on my veins, dude.

01:34:58.440 Shit feels intense.

01:34:59.520 Yeah, it's wild.

01:35:00.400 It's wild.

01:35:02.440 Awesome.

01:35:02.940 Well, if you want to check it out with Blair, we'll put a link.

01:35:04.780 Do you do that for people?

01:35:06.140 Or are you kind of just in a safe world doing it for comedians that you want?

01:35:09.900 Well, I'll randomly do, like, a virtual class, which I am doing this coming Tuesday.

01:35:14.840 But I don't know if it'll be out by then.

01:35:16.700 Okay, cool.

01:35:17.240 But if not, they can follow you and they can figure out where to take your classes sometimes?

01:35:20.460 Yeah, if I do do one, I'll post about it.

01:35:23.100 Okay, good.

01:35:23.660 Yeah.

01:35:24.740 Cool.

01:35:25.180 Blair Saki, best of luck with comedy and stuff.

01:35:26.880 It's so nice to meet you.

01:35:27.680 Yeah, thank you.

01:35:28.400 Thanks for having me.

01:35:29.140 This was really fun.

01:35:30.400 I'm just floating on the breeze.

01:35:32.900 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:35:35.880 I must be cornerstone.

01:35:41.100 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind.

01:35:45.860 I found I can feel it in my bones.

01:35:50.000 But it's going to take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind.

01:36:02.420 Shine that light on me.

01:36:06.280 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club.

01:36:33.120 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

01:36:40.880 The answer may shock you.

01:36:42.620 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:36:44.680 Sometimes I won't.

01:36:45.540 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:36:49.040 You have three new voice messages.

01:36:52.220 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:36:55.220 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:36:57.880 Longer than anybody else.

01:36:59.560 So great.

01:37:00.140 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:37:19.520 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:37:23.840 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:37:28.080 Third rule.

01:37:29.020 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:37:31.760 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:37:33.800 And yes, don't worry.

01:37:35.140 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 13, 2022

E375 Blair Socci

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript